ADHD tip: if u need to remember something, inconvenience urself with it.
works best with physical objects obviously but just. oh i keep forgetting my lunch box before work? now after prepping it i set it in front of the door so i cant leave without moving it. dont wanna forget to take my pills? well in about to eat dinner so im gonna set the pillbox down right where my plates gonna go. gotta deal with x before bed? well, ill set it on my bed so i cant sleep without moving it. make it so that u cannot proceed with another task without interacting with the forgetfullness object.
u can also sub in an object that maybe isnt the task itself but is a related reminder object (detergent for laundry, trash bag to replace bag when u throw out the damn trash, etc)
and not in the VICINITY of another task, like. the reminder object is On Top Of my game controller and i cant play video games without being reminded "oh i had TASKS".
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i really dislike it when people don’t understand perfectionism.
like, it isn’t always “person who has tons of motivation and spends a ton of time making this thing *just* right”
wayyyyyy more often than not it’s:
”I know that if I try to make this thing, it won’t be perfect, so I simply won’t try.”
which definitely sounds bad, right? but when you realize that it doesn’t just apply to voluntarily making art, then you realize how perfectionism is not at all a good thing in any context.
“i know that if I try to work on this assignment right now, it won’t be good enough, so i’ll wait until the last possible moment so that I have something forcing me to do it.”
”i know that I should start going to the gym, but I won’t see any improvement right away, so I just won’t.”
”i know that i should brush my teeth tonight, but that won’t be good enough to undo the fact that i haven’t brushed them 4 days in a row, so I just won’t.”
perfectionism isn’t the uncontrollable impulse to make things “just right”. (although it can occasionally manifest as this.)
perfectionism is the absolute, psychological inability to accept the concepts of “good enough” and “better than nothing”.
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So your parents suck?
Okay, so you’re starting from scratch, you can’t cook, you don’t know what career you’re interested in, you lack skills that your parents should have taught you, and your finances aren’t in order. Worst of all, you don’t know where to begin 👀. Well, I got a list of books for you.
( most of the books listed have visuals)
These are 10 must-have books that’ll help you maneuver through life!
1. “The Self Care prescription” by Robyn L. Gobin, Ph.D ⭐️ MUST HAVE ⭐️ (Amazon)
Self-care is important. If you don’t know where to start this book was made for you. It will clear up any confusion you may have about self-care, and how it looks. It also addresses mental health and teaches you skills on how to deal with real-life issues. The author also has a journal you can purchase alongside this book. (Amazon link)
2. “Infographic guide to Personal Finance” by Elisabeth Lariviere and Michele Cavan, CPA (Amazon)
All the financial advice you need in one book. It has a range of topics from debt to investing, buying property, and budgeting. This book is easy to understand and has lovely graphics.
3. “How to be a person” by Catherine Newman (Amazon)
All the skills you need to be a functioning human being are in this book. I recommend this book for people who didn’t have a lot of guidance growing up. “How to be a person” will fill you in on the basics. It tells you how to tip people, do laundry, send mail, and make your bed. It also has some easy recipes and a lot more. It’s a great starter book for those who genuinely don’t know where to begin!
4. “Atomic Habits” by James Clear (Amazon)
If you are looking to break a habit or start a new one this book is a bestseller and highly recommended. It can also be helpful for those who struggle with motivation, making changes, etc. Before reading this book, I had difficulty getting back on track after a break. Since reading Atomic Habits, I've been able to stay consistent with my goals and overcome moments of doubt. Once you’ve read Atomic Habits I would suggest purchasing @2pretty 12-month dream girl guide. It can help you keep track of the habits you want to master and the steps you plan on taking to accomplish your goal. It’s also a cute journal 🥰.
5. “Budgeting 101” by Michele Cavan, CPA (Amazon)
A very detailed book explaining everything you need to know about budgeting, saving, and investing. It also has a couple of tips.
6. “Home EC for everyone” by Sharon & David Bowers (Amazon)
All the life skills you need are in this book. It covers cooking, laundry, sewing, and other domestic skills. Home EC has recipes, a list of supplies, and how-to’s on cleaning, setting tables &, etc. This book is amazing. It’s been my favorite purchase this year. It starts with the easy stuff like boiling water 😭 and cracking an egg, but it gets into other info like getting gum out of carpet, how to hem a skirt, reading laundry symbols, making beef stew, and brining meat, just to mention a few.
7. “Getting from college to career” by Lindsey Pollak (Amazon)
If you need advice on preparing for interviews, working on your resume, getting real-world experiences, and finding job opportunities. I couldn’t suggest a better book. It has other topics and is great for anyone who needs advice while they're looking for a job, but it is catered to college graduates.
8. “Adulting made easy” by Amanda Morin (Amazon)
Budgeting, insurance, getting a job, KEEPING a job, safe social media usage, living situations, and a few other life skills are all mentioned in “adulting made easy”. I love this book and started including it in my gift package for friends and family members going to college or moving out, it’s such a great resource.
9. “The driving book” by Karen Gravelle (Amazon)
This book is geared towards new drivers, but I believe it has some great information for everyone. It tells you what to keep in your car, how to take care of it, and how to drive in different areas. Such as the freeway, the countryside, etc.
10. “Careers the ultimate guide to planning your future” (Amazon)
This book has a range of careers, some requiring just trade school or associates, others needing a doctorate. With such a range, you’ll be sure to get an idea of what career you might be interested in. It also has a rank on the salary you’ll be making from each opportunity listed.
❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️
Now I am all for reading and gathering information but please be sure to put the tips you learn to use.
I’ll try to make a version of this that has online readings or links. I know some people don’t like books or don’t have space for books so if I find any articles I’ll make a post 🤍
♡ xoxo Mrs.Degree ❣️
p.s just cuz you didn’t learn these skills as a kid doesn’t mean your parents suck I just picked that as a header.
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I think a lot of people with adhd mistake processes for habits. I know I did for a long time, until I saw that one post explaining how habits are automatic (wtf how does that even work).
I have processes, and a lot of the time they fall apart if the wrong thing happens at the wrong time, and then it’s like moving a brick wall to get started again.
I’m not sure if this is making sense but anyway. Clicking on my turn signal is a process, wherein I think about turning and I decide to move my hand. And I guess for some people they don’t have to have the thought to do it?
Sounds fake lol
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universally applicable problem solving guidelines:
are you making up a guy in your head who will be angry at you for doing a thing?
stop doing that. the imaginary person who hates you should not be a determining factor in anything. "making a guy up to be mad at you" is a step below "making a guy up to be mad at" and it's not good for you.
are you denying yourself joy because of some arbitrary goal you are making yourself reach first?
stop doing that. you are allowed to be kind to yourself without needing to earn it, and putting things off for some nebulous "better time" to do them just means you won't ever do them. live a little.
if there is nothing stopping you from doing the thing right now, do it.
there are no workarounds for this you've just gotta do it. even if it sucks. especially if it sucks. sorry.
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laundry piling up/dirty room? my personal hack for adhd people who hate clutter:
1. gather everything dirty you can & throw into washing machine right now don't think do it right now bitch
2. all your clean stuff around the house + clutter - throw it all on your bed. all of it. preferably in middle so u can't sleep or sit down at all. put ur phone under it first for extra motivation, no fr
3. as fast as you can, pick things up and just throw them in different piles like, super fast like its a game. don't stop to put things away one by one, you WILL get distracted.
so like i do: a.) stuff to hang up b.) tshirts/hoodies (fold away) c.) underwear/socks d.) pjs/sweatpants (fold away)
4. put on music and fold stuff while dancing :3
also i make rules for myself.
my rule of thumb is nothing in my room touches the ground (except things that stay there or bags maybe) ever ever. i have two laundry baskets, one for dirty and one for stuff i just need to put away later if i don't feel up to it. catch-alls SAVE MY LIFE i have them in every room, for small stuff especially. eventually, i clear the catch alls out and put things away. i throw hoodies on a chair sometimes but they never touch the floor. the floor is lava. i do not leave drawers open ever, it takes 2 seconds to close them so make it a rule.
taking the extra 2 seconds to keep things off the floor, have "catch all" containers, close things etc... save me so much hassle and time & the lack of visual clutter keeps me from getting overwhelmed. if i didn't do these things my life would be a mess & it would take longer to find things and get shit done without constant distraction.
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Three Strategies for Doing Home Chores With ADHD
A family member with undiagnosed ADHD has the following routine for washing the dishes.
When he starts making coffee, he uses that time to put away 10 dishes. Since he uses a very fast Keurig coffeemaker, it turns into a game or challenge: can he put away all 10 dishes before the coffee is ready?
He points out that making coffee would otherwise be “dead time” where he’s just standing around. These moments feel torturous for me and many others with ADHD. So, he makes use of that “dead time” to do a little bit of chores.
It made me think about such moments of down time in my life, and my own first reaction -- to pull out my phone and check my email and social media or play a relatively mindless game. I started wondering how much easier cleaning my home would be if I made better use of my dead time.
The strategies he’s combining here are:
1) Use those torturous little bits of down time to do some small “productive” thing
2) Break a task into small pieces that can fit into little bits of down time.
3) Turn a boring task into a game or challenge. (This is one of his favorites).
Have you used any of these strategies? Would a habit like this work for you?
1/14/23
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