Low level/continuous pain tips for writing

Want to avoid the action movie effect and make your character's injuries have realistic lasting impacts? Have a sick character you're using as hurt/comfort fodder? Everyone has tips for how to write Dramatic Intense Agony, but the smaller human details of lasting or low-level discomfort are rarely written in. Here are a few pain mannerisms I like to use as reference:

General

Continuously gritted teeth (may cause headaches or additional jaw pain over time)

Irritability, increased sensitivity to lights, sounds, etc

Repetitive movements (fidgeting, unable to sit still, slight rocking or other habitual movement to self-soothe)

Soft groaning or whimpering, when pain increases or when others aren't around

Heavier breathing, panting, may be deeper or shallower than normal

Moving less quickly, resistant to unnecessary movement

Itching in the case of healing wounds

Subconsciously hunching around the pain (eg. slumped shoulders or bad posture for gut pain)

Using a hand to steady themself when walking past walls, counters, etc (also applies to illness)

Narration-wise: may not notice the pain was there until it's gone because they got so used to it, or may not realize how bad it was until it gets better

May stop mentioning it outright to other people unless they specifically ask or the pain increases

Limb pain

Subtly leaning on surfaces whenever possible to take weight off foot/leg pain

Rubbing sore spots while thinking or resting

Wincing and switching to using other limb frequently (new/forgettable pain) or developed habit of using non dominant limb for tasks (constant/long term pain)

Propping leg up when sitting to reduce inflammation

Holding arm closer to body/moving it less

Moving differently to avoid bending joints (eg. bending at the waist instead of the knees to pick something up)

Nausea/fever/non-pain discomfort

Many of the same things as above (groaning, leaning, differences in movement)

May avoid sudden movements or turning head for nausea

Urge to press up against cold surfaces for fever

Glazed eyes, fixed stare, may take longer to process words or get their attention

Shivering, shaking, loss of fine motor control

If you have any more details that you personally use to bring characters to life in these situations, I'd love to hear them! I'm always looking for ways to make my guys suffer more write people with more realism :)

employee benefits.

summary. baizhu remains constantly attuned to his chronically ill employee and their needs. it is no surprise that he knows when they are unwell.

trigger & content warnings. chronic illness flare-up.

tropes, pairings, fic length, & other notes. fluff. baizhu & reader, qiqi & reader. 0.5k words. they/them pronouns for reader. this post is an expansion of invisible disability? it's rather visible to me.

author's thoughts. in celebration of me getting baizhu within 30 pulls and me getting to soak up all of his lore like a dry sponge would to water, heres some more baizhu content!! we love him in this household <33 he and kaveh are literally the REALEST genshin characters ever with the most relatable trauma and ideals like what the fuck man..... /lh

baizhu knows that some days, his junior herbalist just can't work; it's far too much for their body. he's had many such days himself. it's unavoidable and unpredictable—some days, his body doesn't function well even if he was completely fine the day before. the same applies to his young hire. as such, he is often the one able to see the signs as soon as the day begins.

"good morning, dr. baizhu, qiqi, changsheng," they greet, a tired smile on their face. their smile widens a little bit when qiqi tugs their sleeve to draw their attention before handing them a pastry.

"[name] needs to eat."

"hehe... yes, you're absolutely right, qiqi. thank you."

she hums, content, as they pat her head. she remains glued to their leg.

the way their chest rises and falls is blatantly irregular, as if they're trying to catch their breath. there's a slight tremble in their limbs as well. baizhu briefly wonders if qiqi is supporting their weight, if she's somehow, subconsciously aware that something is off about them this morning in particular.

"oh my," baizhu muses, observing their tired disposition. "did you not rest well?"

"what he's trying to say is that you look awful."

"jeez, it's this early and you're already bullying me, changsheng? gui isn't even here yet. it's too early... what did i do to deserve this?" they huff. "to be honest, i woke up feeling unwell. i don't know why. i just feel very weak today."

"hmm..." he's thinking. if they are unwell, he absolutely will not permit them to work, given that they may faint or collapse at any point. he simply doesn't want to see them hurt themselves. "well, there's still quite some time until we officially open. come. i'll examine you."

"do i get an employee discount?" they joked, to which he smiled.

"i won't be charging you."

"wha— no. i was joking. i was kidding. you can't not charge me. that's hardly fair, given that i can afford it. i know we're supposed to make things as easy and affordable for patients as possible, but i don't need those accomodations. i work here. i already have easy access to everything i need."

"don't be stubborn, [name]."

"i am stubborn, dr. baizhu. you can't be hypocritical and expect me to allow that."

silence. then, the liyuean doctor chuckles fondly. the way he gazes at them is soft.

what a handful they are.

"fine, fine. i'll take the cost from next month's pay, alright? just let me look at you. we can't have you collapsing on us today, now can we?"

a month later, they find something... oddly normal about their pay. not a single mora has been deducted.

"dr. baizhu, i love and respect you and would never doubt the things you say, but... you said you would take my examination cost from my next paycheck. this is the same amount of mora i get every month."

"oh, did i say that? hm, i can't seem to recall that conversation."

"...with all due respect, you're insufferable sometimes."

please consider reblogging, it helps me out quite a lot!

I’m not trying to be a downer (especially since I’m having such a good day today) but I am PROUD of how far I’ve come despite the challenges.

I am PROUD of how healthy I have become over the past year.

While some people may not believe that emotional abuse can cause so much damage, let me tell you that it completely wrecked me biologically. Not only was my nervous system “on fire” (and it still is, I’m still healing of course), my stress levels were so high that I was flaring all the time (my chronic inflammatory conditions). My blood pressure was chronically high. I developed obstructive sleep apnea. I was a chronic insomniac (with lots of crashes), and I was hooked on multiple things that could take my pain and distress away (including substances, sex, gaming, food, etc.). I was physically ill all the time - sometimes I felt like I had no reprieve.

One time I let the emotional neglect from a partner I had for five years (not my ex-spouse) get so bad… that it drove me to have back surgery at the age of 25. I don’t even consider that partner abusive. He was still an asshole and immature as fuck even though he was eight years older than me.

They all may have thought they were being themselves or that they were “right” to treat me in such a way. I should have probably left them all a lot sooner than I did.

But I didn’t. I was undiagnosed autistic with a history of trauma and people-pleasing. I was so deprived of love within myself that I thought that my reality with these people was the best I could ever do.

All the while, my body and mind paid the price.

Yes I did accomplish a lot already in my lifetime - I have aptitude for a lot of things. Do you know what makes me so fucking sad? All the things I could have done when I wasn’t peeing blood or so fatigued I couldn’t move or so dizzy from stress and overstimulation FROM ABUSE.

I lost years of my life. I likely have a shortened life span. I believe that I went through brain and body damage due to chronic abuse (both physical and emotional throughout my life). I am chronically inflamed.

So.

Who the fuck cares that I only want and deserve the best treatment ever now?! I am not even being unreasonable.

And who the fuck cares if I treat myself the best I’ve ever treated myself?! Let me be hedonistic. I want to be in bliss for the rest of my life.

And I don’t want anyone to ever treat me like that ever again, even if they think I “deserve it.” Even if they’re a good person.

Because I don’t deserve it. I deserve the world.

I’d like to request a body switching scenario with [Satan, Asmo, Beelz, Solomon, Simeon] and an Gender Neutral MC with undisclosed chronic health issues. Like brittle bones that break if you step a little goofy, stress ulcers, sensitivity to light, joint pain, poor stamina, etc. I just want to see the boys go “You live like this?!”

Satan:

Satan has a habit of collecting rare magical objects. Somehow quite a few of these cause body-switching incidents.

The cursed object causes the two of you to lose consciousness for a few minutes. When he wakes up he is in immediate pain.

His first thought is that the spell must have caused this and you must be in pain too! If he, a demon, is in this much pain it must be excruciating for a human.

He rushes to you or tries to. But falls to his knees in shock as a shooting pain runs through him.

He blinks watering eyes and sees his body stirring on the floor and realizes you’ve switched bodies.

You sit up feeling better than you’ve felt in years. Wondering if this is ‘normal’ or if that cursed object gave you super healing.

It’s only when you hear your own voice calling your name that you realize you and Satan have switched bodies.

You can see the tears in his(your body's) eyes and know exactly what's happening. You’ve had chronic pain for years. And Satan is sitting in just the right way to send shooting pain up your spine.

“Lay down on your back,” you order him. He has just enough control to follow your order and lower your body down slowly.

You can see Satan’s relief on your face as the pain eases slightly. It takes a moment for the worst of the pain to subside and his breath to even out.

He’s staring at the ceiling when he speaks, voice still a little shaky, “You live like this?”

You hum out a yes.

“All- all the time?” he asks, horrified.

“Sometimes it's worse than others. If I move or sit in certain ways it gets real bad. But if I avoid those movements it’s bearable.”

Satan turns to you “This is what you call bearable?!”

You shrug, “That position is usually pretty safe. So yeah probably.”

He is careful to move your body a little as possible as he shifts to point at a spellbook. “That book-”

“Are you going to change us back?” you ask.

“I-” he hesitates. Clearly not wanting you to be in pain again.

“Look, Satan it’s not that I don’t enjoy being pain-free. But I’ve dealt with it for years now. I’ve learned how to function around it. I had to. You on the other hand are going to be laying on the floor for most of the day if you stay in my body.”

“I’m going to find a way to fix you.” He says firmly as you place the book in his hands.

“Promises, promise,” you sing, preparing yourself to experience the pain in your body again.

“I mean it. As soon as I can move again I am going to find a way to help you. Devildom magic has to be better than human medicine.”

Asmo:

Asmo bought you matching bracelets. “Look Mc, I bought us these bracelets! They are supposed to bring us closer together!”

Well, they did bring you closer together. Just not in the way Asmo intended.

When he clasped the bracelets on, you felt a shiver go down your spine and when you opened your eyes you felt...different. Better. There was no aching pain. For once the dazzling lights of Asmo’s room didn’t cause you to wince. That's when you realize you’ve switched bodies.

Asmo on the other hand immediately cringed and squeezed his eyes closed, clutching his(your) head.

Asmo groaned pitifully, teary eyes squinting at you “Mc, how do you do anything like this??”

He curls up beneath his covers, and you make your way around his room turning off all the lights and closing his curtains. Once the light is gone, Asmo peers out from beneath the covers, “Do you live like this all the time?”

“Mostly, yeah.”

“No wonder your room is so dark. I thought you were just being dramatic.”

You shrug at him, “The Devildom is better than the human realm. There’s no bright sunlight here.”

Once the spell wears off, Asmo keeps the bracelet on both as a reminder of how you live with this chronic illness and as the intended purpose of showing how close the two of you are.

He buys you super dark glasses to try and filter out some of the bright light that bothers you.

and asks Solomon to help him find any magical treatments that might help you.

Beel:

Beel and you switch bodies after eating some of Solomon’s cooking.

Neither of you wants to eat Solomon’s cooking, but you had the misfortune to be the only two people who couldn’t find an excuse to get out of it.

Beel doesn’t know how it happened, Solomon doesn’t know how it happened, you sure as hell don’t know how this happened. But here you are with a strange magic ‘cake’ in hand, looking at your body from Beel’s eyes.

Your first thought is how strong you feel in Beel’s body. Like you could do anything. The exhaustion and joint pain you normally deal with is gone.

Is this how normal people live? Although you suppose a demon doesn’t count as a normal human, so it’s not such a good comparison.

You watch as Beel catches himself on the counter as he adjusts to the symptoms of your illness.

He lowers your body to the ground. Sitting gingerly as the movement causes the joint pain to flare.

“Mc, is this how you feel every day?” He is so so concerned about you! How do you function if you feel like this all the time? “Why haven’t you told anyone about this?”

“It’s ok, Beel. I’ve figured out how to deal with it.”

“It is not ok. Mc, we could have helped you!”

It’s strange to be lectured by your own voice and body. But Beel does a good job of it. He insists that you have to tell him when your symptoms act up and convinces you to let him speak with Lucifer about trying some magical treatments.

The potion doesn’t wear off for several hours. You feel a tad bit guilty about enjoying this when Beel is so obviously suffering, but you can’t remember the last time you felt so good. So capable.

Once the spell wears off Beel insists on carrying you around so you aren't as fatigued and to avoid aggravating your joint pain.

Be prepared for trying a string of different potions and spells to treat your illness, under the watchful eyes of Beel and Lucifer.

Solomon:

After hearing about Lucifer and Satan’s body-switching incident Solomon went looking for another cursed book.

He’d heard some rumor about Satan’s book having a twin and was determined to find it.

And find it he did.

You accidentally touched the book at the same time as him and switched bodies.

Solomon is more intrigued than anything else. “Do you live like this all the time? If so, you do a remarkable job of hiding it.”

He is going to test the limits of your body’s capabilities. He wants to know what situations cause pain or discomfort so that you can’t pretend to be ok when you aren’t.

You’ll have to warn him if he is doing anything that might permanently harm your body.

Unlike some of the others, Solomon doesn’t immediately look for a way to switch back.

When the spell wears off Solomon has a near-complete understanding of your condition. He knows what causes pain, what doesn’t, and what situations you should absolutely avoid.

“Mc, you need to stop pretending you are ok when you’re not. I’ll be here to help you when you need it. And if that help happens to be stopping you from doing foolish things to save face then so be it.”

Solomon keeps a close eye on you from now on. He respects you enough to not tell anyone about your condition if you don’t want him to, but he will also come up with the strangest excuses to remove you from activities he knows will aggravate your condition.

If there is magic that can be used to help you Solomon will find it. Just be prepared to feel a little bit like a lab rat while he figures out the perfect spell or potion to help you.

Simeon:

Simeon wants to know what it feels like to be human. He thinks it would give him a greater understanding of humanity.

He mentions this to Solomon, who being the chaos loving wizard he is, makes a potion to allow Simeon to switch bodies with you.

The problem occurs when Solomon 'forgets’ to tell you both that he’s already put the potion in your tea.

Simeon is shocked. He finds himself in your body. Looking at himself through your eyes. And by god does your body hurt!

“Mc, I’m dreadfully sorry, but I think Solomon’s little joke may have gone wrong. I-everything hurts.”

You blink at Simeon...er Simeon in your body. Mind taking a moment to catch up with the sudden body switch. You feel great. Part of that might be due to being in an angel's body, but mostly it's due to the lack of pain.

“Oh, everything's fine on my end. So it must be my chronic pain. It’s worse today than others.”

“Wh-what do you do when it’s bad?”

“Usually I try to distract myself. Or try to take a nap and hope I wake up feeling better. But we’d made plans and I didn’t want to cancel so…”

“So you decided to deal with extra pain for my sake? Oh, Mc. You should have told me you live like this. I can help”

“There’s no point, Simeon. Not a single doctor I’ve been to has found anything wrong with me. I didn’t want anyone here to pity me.”

“I am an angel, Mc. I’m quite sure I can do a bit more than your human doctors.”

You help Simeon to his room where you spend the afternoon watching human world movies to help distract him.

Simeon sleeps fitfully next to you and as you drift off you wonder if that is how you always look when you let your guard down enough to show your pain.

When the potion wears off you are both asleep, curled up next to each other.

When you wake up you are back in your own body. Simeon is sitting next to you slipping a charmed bracelet onto your wrist. “This is from the Celestial realm. It should help keep your pain at a more manageable level until I can find a more permanent solution.”

arghhh i hope im not too late uhh,, may i request current tsumugi with a bit of a sickly s/o? if not all of the req slots are filled up ofc ahaja

it has been A While since i've written him, so forgive the rustiness lmao

i think i ended up writing this with a "reader is sickly enough to be stuck in the hospital" perspective which idk if it applies or not 😟💦 I HOPE it's still satisfactory!

 

⇨ It probably started based on that sickliness. You were just out somewhere when the symptoms flared up. Tsumugi, who happened to be in the general vicinity, immediately worried about you, offered to take you to a hospital or infirmary, etc. He knows the signs of illness and would not hesitate to offer. (He used to take care of Eichi to an extent, after all.)

⇨ So, assuming that offer was taken... Maybe he came back to check on you? Even if you were complete strangers, his horoscope that first day said he'd be lucky when meeting new people.

⇨ For the sake of plot, let's say you were hospitalized for a little bit longer than expected? He'd visit and bring a lucky item to "ensure safe recovery!" He still talked to you after you'd left it, maybe you'd both exchanged numbers or something.

⇨ You're friends before you know it! Wow, he's an idol? Isn't he busy? Yes, but he needs friendships outside of work. (Rei's close enough with Tsumugi to say that, so that's who encourages him to keep going, no matter how often Tsumugi’s self-deprecating comments happen.)

⇨ The moment he recognized he had developed romantic feelings, he double-checked the compatibility of your horoscope with his own. He knows the zodiac inside and out, but it never hurt to have a second opinion, right?

⇨ Natsume was not amused when Tsumugi asked him to divine how likely it was you'd have feelings for him as well. "This is your probLEM, Senpai. You have to do it yourSELF."

⇨ Sora agreed with Natsume on that he should handle his feelings for you on his own. But, he definitely noted when Tsumugi's color looked different. "Are you thinking about them again, Senpai? Your color's all flushed." ♪

⇨ It was probably a group effort, since it took the entirety of New Dimension to convince Tsumugi to ask you out and confess. He was so honest normally that it was pretty shocking to hear he wasn't just acting on those feelings.

⇨ The only thing Natsume agreed to do was the Tarot card reading of how well his asking out/confession would go. (The reading was favorable. With fortune-telling, Natsume can encourage people to act in ways that will benefit them, and he'd gotten sick of hearing about Tsumugi's First Real Crush by then.

⇨ (It’s unfortunate that Tsumugi didn’t shut up after it went well.)

⇨ The following dates went great! Probably! He might’ve made a lot of dumb mistakes on them, more of his low self-esteem showing, but you’re probably good about that, understanding or helpful, etc.

— And now you’re dating him! —

 

⇨ As stated before, the entirety of New Dimension knows about you and him being in a relationship. Everyone. See above.

⇨ That probably means members of Knights visit, sometimes Madara too. Tsumugi worries a lot less when he knows you’re safe, so if he can't personally bring you the lucky item of the day, someone else will! (I know nothing about her but I’m pretty sure Arashi would love to do that?)

⇨ Every morning, he texts you info about your sign’s outlook for the day. What do you avoid today? What might go well? Will you have good luck with this or that?

⇨ He works way too hard. Please make him relax once in a while. Texts just aren’t enough. Maybe help sort the paperwork? Clean the office a little? Physically put whatever he’s working on down?

⇨ Tsumugi, shortly before your birthday, stressing because he still hasn’t picked the perfect gift: “Natsume-kun, what do I get them?” “Senpai, this is YOUR PartNER, why are you asking ME?”

⇨ If you manage to go visit him for no reason, or as a surprise, or bring lunch/snacks, stuff like that, he will brighten up way faster than a lightbulb. On the days the symptoms are worse, sending Arashi is fine in your stead.

⇨ I know so little about all of Knights, but considering that’s the entire theme, I’m sure at least one of them takes escorting you REALLY seriously. Tsukasa looks serious. Doesn’t Izumi fuss a lot? Maybe he’ll end up fussing over you eventually?? Just tossing out ideas, no clue if they’re accurate or not.

 

⇨ tl;dr: Despite your frequent/chronic illnesses, you have so much power now. Use it responsibly.

So You've Just Been Diagnosed With a Chronic Illness - an Orientation

So you've just been diagnosed with a chronic illness, huh? Welcome to the club; there are a lot of us here! I wouldn't presume to guess what your exact illness is, but most of us have some kind of fatigue and physical and/or mental pain going on, so that seems like a safe bet. Since you're new here, I thought I'd give you some idea of what to expect and what to do as you battle your illness.

First and foremost, accept it. Life is not going to be the way it was before. You will always either have some kind of symptom or be on the lookout for signs of a flare/episode. I'm not going to tell you to "suck it up, buttercup" because that would be neither useful nor fair, but you do need to grieve your past life in your own way and then look toward your future life with this condition. It really is a process of grief - the whole idea of the 5 stages of grief is nonsense, but whatever grief looks like to you, this will be a form of it. You had this whole, lovely, capable life before, and now…what? You have no idea, and it's scary, and most likely right now life is pain. It's a tangible loss, and that fact shouldn't be denied. You need to mourn for the life you had, but you also need to accept that this is your new reality and not keep trying to do things you can't or shouldn't. It's frustrating as hell, but sometimes you'll find yourself simply unable to do something that you used to do without thinking twice about it. Feel that frustration, then accept it and learn to work with it. Your job depends on computers but your wrists are killing you? This is why wrist braces and ergonomic mouse pads exist. Can't see the screen in its default state, or its default state is so bright that it gives you a headache? This is why it's possible to mess with the brightness and contrast settings on your computer. Whatever your problem is, there's probably a workaround or something that will at least temporarily relieve the symptoms. You've got this.

Ok, so whatever you have isn't curable, it can't be treated well enough that you'll have an overall good quality of life, and/or it's degenerative? When you've reached a point where it becomes clear that basic workarounds aren't going to cut it, it's time for some planning. Do you need someone to help you with your job? Transportation? Basic tasks? Who do you think should help you, and how? Obviously you don't want to think about being debilitated, but I'm afraid you're going to have to swallow your pride here lest you find yourself stuck without a way to get to a doctor appointment, or worse, stuck in bed with no one to feed you and help you get to the bathroom without falling over. Again, the goal is to accept your illness and work with it. I'd give you more concrete suggestions, but I don't know your precise condition nor would I presume to ask.

Ok, now let's discuss how to live within your new, more limited reality until you adjust to whatever its default state ends up being. The first thing you need to do is find a doctor who specializes in whatever system of your body is a problem, preferably one with specific expertise on your condition. There may be paperwork to fill out before your initial visit - pages and pages of it - but hopefully the results will be worth it. You need to develop a working rapport with your doctor; don't forget that unless you live in an area with really crappy healthcare or you have really crappy insurance, you can always "fire" your current doc and find someone you like better. There is no good reason to put up with a doctor who doesn't listen to you and/or has a God complex if you don't absolutely have to.

Once you've found a specialist whom you feel listens to you and whom you can work with, it's time to discuss what you want to tackle first. Which symptom(s) you find most bothersome may determine which medication or therapy the doctor tries with you first. Then it's time for an unpleasantly prolonged game of "Symptom or Side Effect?" as your body keeps doing weird new things and you keep talking to your doctor. That patient information they give out with every drug they dispense at the pharmacy is your friend; at the bare minimum look at the parts about side effects so that you can at least make an educated guess in the game, and if it seems like the med is doing something nasty to you then your doctor can change it. Unfortunately there is no magic pill that will fix all of your issues with no side effects; the question is more the pro/con ratio. The med's doing wonders for one symptom but now you can't pee? Nope, sorry, that's not acceptable. (Yes, side effects can be that weird; let's just say that that example was not pulled from thin air.) The med doesn't seem to be doing anything particularly bad, but doesn't seem to be doing anything particularly good either? Also not acceptable. The med's making your illness better but now you're always tired? Up to you whether that's acceptable; if it is, great, and if not, hopefully your doctor will have something else up their sleeve.

Depending on your illness, until you and your doctor get your symptoms under control and figure out what normal looks like for you, you may unfortunately find yourself spending a lot of time in the ER as well as the doctor's office. There may be no help for it; some diseases cause emergencies when they're out of control, plus it can take time to learn to differentiate between "normal" pain and "something's really wrong" pain. If either of those is the case for you, life is going to be really hard for a while. I wish I could tell you otherwise, but there's simply no sense in sugarcoating it. You may become a bit of a hypochondriac, but your body and/or brain doing all sorts of weird new things is bound to have that effect on you. Eventually you'll learn what "normal" looks and feels like, and until then all of your "but this shouldn't be…what if…?"s are understandable.

Now let's talk about something really evil that happens to the members of this club: the societal expectation that you will either die or permanently get better, and if you claim to be able to do x one day but not another day then you're malingering. This is total malarkey and we both know it, but it apparently seems to be a common attitude toward the disabled and chronically ill. You may have gotten it so much that you've internalized it; if that's the case, mentally take a step back and remind yourself that you are not faking, you are not just looking for attention, and that your energy and ability levels vary day by day and you simply have to work with that or suffer even worse consequences later. Read about spoon theory for more on the whole energy thing, and I've posted a few other compositions (which I will soon be editing and reposting) for you to read and share with your loved ones if you so choose.

Speaking of loved ones, now is the time to refine communication with them regarding your needs. If they're micromanaging you with "Should you really be eating that? Have you taken your meds today? No, you know you can't do that. You know you need to do this symptom-relief thing" type things, that's probably getting really annoying. Remember, their hearts are in the right place, and they may even be right about whatever they're saying. However, tone and expression matter; there's a world of difference between "I seem to recall the doctor saying that you shouldn't eat that" and "Don't eat that;" between "Have you taken your meds?" and "Consider this a reminder to take your meds if you haven't yet;" between "Do this to relieve your symptoms" and an implicit "we know x works for you" along with an explicit "Have you tried x to relieve your symptoms today?" Basically, the difference is command vs. suggestion. Most people respond much better to suggestions and relatively hands-off reminders than they do to commands and reminders that seem to come with the assumption that you're a forgetful idiot. It's a thin line and a hard one to walk, but if you give them some feedback eventually your loved ones should get the hang of it. (Also, if you really are going against doctors' orders, then perhaps you actually do need to listen to the annoying things your loved ones are saying!) As for all the "Hey, I read this article about something resembling your condition; could you have the rare thing I just read about/could this new treatment I just read about help you" nuisances directed at you, they are actually expressions of love and concern. If they're really annoying then tell everyone to just buzz off, but your better bet is to smile, glance at the article or whatever to see if there really is something of value there, and if there isn't then just quietly get rid of the article and dismiss the advice.

Anyway, that pretty much concludes your orientation; if you have any more questions feel free to ask someone in the chronic illness club or consider joining a support group for your specific condition, and good luck!

Misery love Company pt 5

(mention of vomit, and ablelist behavior

It  had been a week and a half since Katsuki had eaten a proper meal, or felt normal. His entire body had felt like it was burning but that wasn’t because he had a fever, oh no he was cold to the bone but his bones were hurting so bad. Moving hurt so much, moving also made him incredibly dizzy to the point where he collapsed once or twice. These dizzy spells were accompanied by nausea, chest pain, his heart feeling like it would explode from his chest, feeling very hot and then suddenly he’d drop. 

Today had been the last straw or well tonight was the last straw. Katsuki was miserable, laying in his bed unable to be comfortable at all with how sick he was. A trash can next to the side of his bed in case he got sick but. Even just moving to get sick into the trash can made Katsuki feel very faint. Like now, Massaru was helping Katsuki who was busy getting sick into the trash can for what felt like the millionth time this week which made Massaru wanna take Katsuki to the ER but. Katsuki had been brainwashed by Mitsuki into the idea that he just needed to sleep it off but. This time Mitsuki wasn’t home and Massaru was too anxious to care especially when he heard Katsuki gasping for breath, clutching his chest, and whimpering to the point of tears running down his flushed red, and pale pink face. Massaru had to hold Katsuki up when the other’s eyes went back and he went limp, he knew the other had fainted again but this time he listened to his gut. He quickly grabbed everything he needed, and pulled Katsuki out of bed and into his car, and left for the emergency room.

When he got there he carried Katsuki in and allowed them to whisk his son away. Of course they had to ask the usual questions as well as some other ones but other than that Massaru was left in the waiting room. That lonely sickeningly white walled waiting room. Massaru knew he needed to call Mitsuki even if he didn’t want to know how his wife would most likely react though a piece of him hoped she would have a shred of selflessness to get off of work to come and see him.  

Ever since Katsuki’s condition began to make an appearance Mitsuki hadn’t been reacting to this well. She’d been rather dismissive about Katsuki’s complaints of pain, and rather passive aggressive with her replies. Then when Katsuki started getting sicker and sicker she wouldn’t even be bothered to help him. It was as if that was a job completely beneath her. Telling Katsuki to stop being weak or lazy and that he could do it himself.. The frequent fainting spells weren’t helping, making it even more difficult for Katsuki to try and help himself. It finally got to the point where Katsuki could hardly sit up without needing to immediately lay back down because he was gonna pass out.  Mitsuki ignored everything and passed it off as puberty, being a wimp, growing, needing to take care of himself. All her words were laced with a coldness that made Katsuki feel so weak.

Making the decision, Massaru called his wife and told her what had happened and, to put it frankly, her response wasn’t very empathetic or motherly. “Ugh what the hell! I told you not to Massaru!” “i-I know dear but come on, the kid fainted again and he hasn’t been keeping down almost anything but gatorade, and he’s in pain.” “Katsuki is just weak Massaru, he just wants attention and is playing it up to get it!” Massaru was getting fed up with his wife’s protests and replied in an annoyed tone.“Mitsuki, our son couldn’t even sit up on his own without blacking out. I don’t care if you think he’s faking, if you truly loved and cared then you’d come over here.” He hung up before she could reply as he didn’t want to hear another word from her at the moment. Still alone in this waiting room, waiting for any information on his son’s condition was making the man anxious. It felt like hours, upon hours, but it had only been one hour but. Time in here seemed to feel like forever, it went by so slowly yet too quick at the same time.

Finally, a doctor walked over to him smiling. “Mr Bakugou?” Looking up he sees the woman coming over to him and he gives a sigh. “Yes?” He says as he stands up, the woman approaches him and starts. “We’ve got your son Katsuki, stabilized the best we could here. We did some testing after learning his symptoms and well, the results aren’t great…” The way the woman spoke, Massaru had a bad feeling from the start, but said nothing allowing the woman to go on. “Mr Massaru, let's sit.” She says, now he’s feeling more and more anxious about the possible news. Nodding he sits down in the chair he started in while she sat beside him turning to face him. “Your son could’ve died tonight if you didn’t bring him. He was that sick.” That made Massaru want to be sick himself, the feeling that if he waited a day or two longer, Katsuki could’ve died. Still Massaru didn’t know how the boy could’ve gotten so bad or what was wrong with him, so he asked. “Wh-what’s wrong with Katsuki?” His voice wasn’t very strong, it was strained with concern and fear. “Well your son is sick, and I don’t mean that he has the flu, he’s chronically ill.” It hadn’t hit him completely but hearing that his son was chronically hit him but. How could his son just suddenly fall ill like this though? Even with a chronic illness, shouldn’t this have appeared when he was younger? So he asked what he was thinking “shouldn’t this appear when he was younger?”  “Well some things probably did but they never manifested like this or he did and the doctors just dismissed it as something else.” Massaru couldn’t help but feel guilty, his son could’ve been suffering for years and this is how he finds out. Twiddling his thumbs unconsciously and asking “So what does he have?”

“Katsuki has H.E.D.S which is called Hypermobility Ehlers Danlos syndrome. This is a connective tissue disorder that allows your son to be very flexible and have very elastic yet very thin skin. Due to him being very flexible and having lots of collagen his joints are very loose which means he can easily dislocate things and have horrible body pain from it.” Taking this information Massaru had more questions. “How could this condition almost kill Katsuki? Or is there more to this than just horrible body pain?” “Well I’m glad you’re asking these questions because, yes there is more to this disorder. How I explain this is I call this the H.E.D.S expansion back because this disorder has the possibility to contain multiple other disorders and problems and. For Katsuki those other disorders seem to be POTS and Gastroparesis. Though gastroparesis is a theory I’m not totally solid on that one but it's a good possibility that he has it.” This was so much information coming at him at once but he wanted to know how these conditions would have ended Katsuki’s life. So Massaru asked for the doctor to explain the second ailment. “POTS stands for postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome. Which is a heart condition in which standing or sitting up can cause the blood flow to pool away from Katsuki’s head and make him faint. It can also cause lightheaded-ness, chest pain, shortness of breath, anxiety, fast heart rate, tremors, nausea and vomiting. These symptoms can become very exaggerated during a flare up, which explains why his heart rate was so high but his blood pressure was low.” Massaru silently let everything sink in until he asked1

“so your theory about Gastroparesis? What is that exactly and why do you have a theory for this?” “Well Gastroparesis is a fancy word for stomach paralysis. It's when the nerve that controls the stomach’s contractions that move food from your stomach to your small intestine has stopped functioning or maybe the sphincter of his stomach to his small intestine won't open properly. So his body is digesting things way too slow which can cause lots of pain, bloating, nausea, the feeling of being constantly full or not hungry. SInce his body isn’t digesting his food correctly that means that he’s not absorbing any nutrients through what he eats by mouth….so if he does have gastroparesis they may have to find another way to provide him nutrition.” All of this was a lot for Massaru to grasp but he could also do his research but. Then he had another question. “So how are you guys going to treat my son, what are the plans?” “Well Mr Bakugou, I suggest that your son be transferred to a long stay facility because his condition is not good and we can’t do what a pediatric long stay hospital can do.”

That’s when he knew Katsuki’s world had officially turned upside down. Massaru couldn’t help but feel terrible. If he had waited any longer, if he’d listened to his wife, they may not have woken up the next morning to see Katsuki with a pulse. If he hadn’t listened to his own instincts Massaru would have never forgiven himself. Now his son was gonna have to be transferred to a long stay hospital and he knew Katsuki wasn’t gonna take this well at all. Still he wanted to see Katsuki and knew this information would be accepted better than it would coming from him than the doctor. “We can admit him, but can I see my son please?” “Sure, he should be waking up. He did faint on us when we had to get blood drawn and hooked him up to some IVs. Your son definitely has anxiety around needles, I can tell you that for sure.” She chuckles a little while standing up from her seat, Massaru follows suit and is led down the hallways to find Katsuki.

hello! ooof may I request an ikevamp hc with comte & leo & mc (they need a ship name, I swear xD) and mc has chronic pain/invisible illness? tysm~ ;u;

Heyo, I know you said an HC, but I hope you don’t mind me doing a short drabble! Thanks for being patient!

-------

It wasn’t unusual for mornings to have a twinge of pain associated with them now, as much as you’d rather them not. Sitting up in bed, you rubbed your shoulders, debating on relenting and letting Sebastian know you might need a day off, or pushing through the initial pain and hoping it wouldn’t get worse. Internally, you knew what the answer was anyway, but as you got dressed you went through the mental debate regardless.

“Are you alright?”

You jumped at Sebastian’s voice right behind you, causing his eyes to widen until you put the knife in your hands back down on the cutting board.

“Yes? Or I was, until you startled me.”

You expected a little laugh from him, but as you reached for another veggie to chop up, nothing came. Turning to glance at him just rewarded you with a set frown and furrowed eyebrows.

“What is it?”

“Hm...Were you aware that you have been ‘cutting’ at the same carrot for a few minutes now?” Without waiting for an answer, he gently nudged you aside. “I can handle breakfast today, please get some rest.”

You were embarrassed, but you relented, knowing that if you were that distracted by the pain, that possibly aggravating it with the daily chores would land you in another multi-day flare up.

“...Thank you, Sebastian.”

“Don’t feel guilty. Remember, I handled the mansion long before you arrived here.”

His reminder was firm, but gentle, and made leaving to rest for the day a bit easier.

Settling back down into bed felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders. You weren’t too sure as to why you felt the need to constantly work through any pain, but it was nice for others to point out that you needed to rest. It gave no room to argue with yourself, which you admittedly needed from time to time.

“Cara mia?”

There was a gentle knock at the door, and you smiled, closing the book you had been reading.

“You can come in.”

Of course Sebastian let them know you were having a bad day, but you couldn’t be anything but thankful for the company as Leonardo came in with Comte following.

“Not feeling well today?” Leonardo eased himself onto the bed to rest beside you.

“Ah, no. I thought I’d be okay to work, but Sebastian noticed I was having trouble…” You trailed off, knowing that they were aware of the rest. This wasn’t the first time this had happened.

While Leonardo hummed a response, Comte pulled a chair up by your bed to settle into.

“Let yourself rest for a few days,” Another soft reminder, and you nodded as Comte continued. “You don’t have to work yourself like this.”

Of course, but just doing nothing...You sighed, not wanting to delve into that downward spiral of thinking.

“Mm, what are you reading?” Leonardo tipped the book in your lap towards him.

“Just something from the library, fiction.”

He nodded before nudging it towards Comte’s direction, smirking. “Think ‘daddy’ would be good at reading this, hm?”

He rolled his eyes at Leonardo’s teasing, but leaned over to take the book regardless.

“Well, you don’t have to-”

“No, I don’t mind. Leo has a point, it might help you relax.”

It was hard to argue, especially when you really wouldn’t mind being so spoiled. While Comte flipped through to where your bookmark was, glancing over the pages to get a sense of the story, Leonardo gently tugged you to lay down.

Dealing with the flare-ups that this constant pain gave you, it was difficult to keep a positive attitude. Luckily, the two men at your side were more than happy to help you, and you couldn’t be more grateful.

----

Sorry that this is a bit choppy. Doing a drabble seemed like the way to go, but then it seemed too short/ehh?

I think a day of Comte and Leo care, aside from easing you into naps, would be. Extremely nice to have but shbfhdf I think they’d focus on just doing a lot of General care. Making sure you’re resting, bringing food for you, that sort of thing. But they’d prob make sure you weren’t just holding yourself up in your room, and make a point to bring you outside if you felt up to it.

I think Comte and Leo would, very much spoil an mc with chronic pain as much as possible, but the Mc in the game is a bit stubborn imo when it comes to Not Working, so...problems. hsbfhsd

Thanks for sending something in! Sorry it’s short!

Masterlist | Ikevamp/Ikepri Server

This is for a good friend of mine. She’s been wanting some Jushiro and I wanted to write something sweet for her. I hope you enjoy hun🦋🌸

Trigger Warning; There are mentions of self-harm, depression and abuse. If any of these things bother you then please, do not read this imagine. If you ever need anyone to talk to then my DM’s are always open.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* comfort *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

You always hated today’s date. The damn day that you were supposed to praise and shower your father with love and gifts; Father’s Day. The day always brought such anger, but more often, sadness. Your father, and all subsequent ones after him, were always such horrible people. Your mother never realized what they would do and say to you, and anytime you tried to voice it? Brushed off, ignored, told to be quiet and mind your place, leaving you to suffer in silence. Due to your suffering, you decided to find a way to help yourself, even if it wasn’t healthy.

That was years ago though, your nasty habit long gone by now, but the itch to indulge always seemed to burn the most on this cursed day. It hurt you to always see everyone being so happy with their fathers. You were happy for them of course, but the jealousy still burned deep within you. You wished you could have the same relationship, just as Rukia did. It was why the two of you were so close, but she still didn’t understand the full severity of everything.

As your thoughts continued to rage on like a hurricane, your lovers’ hand on your shoulder quickly snapped you out of it. Turning to face him, he smiled tiredly, causing you to return your own sad smile. Focusing on him and steadying your breathing, not even realizing that you had begun to hyperventilate, he tentatively removed his hand. The two of you sat there in silence for a few moments before he called his lieutenant in.

“Yes, Captain Ukitake?”

He stood slowly, gently pushing himself in order to do so. “I hate to put all of my work on you, but I think I’m going to take the rest of the day off. I have some very important things to take care of.” 

Rukia looked between the two of you with a knowing smile before nodding. “Of course captain, enjoy your day.”

Jushiro smiled softly your way, wrapping his arm around your shoulder before gingerly guiding you away from his office. “Ju-Jushiro? Where are we going?”

“Shh, my love. Don’t worry about that. All you need to know is that we’re going to spend the rest of the day together.”

You hummed softly, nodding in acknowledgement. Arguing would just cause his chronic illness to flare up and that was the very last thing either of you wanted. So instead, the two of you opted to walk in silence.

Eventually, the two of you arrived at a place that made your heart swell with happiness. It was where the two of you originally confessed and when he asked you to be his girlfriend. That was so many years ago, the two of you recently married now.

He guided you to the cherry blossom tree which swayed gently in the afternoon breeze. Taking a seat, his hand found yours, fingers gently lacing together as the distance seemed to capture both of your attentions. And that’s how you sat, for what seemed like forever, enjoying the sound of birds singing and trees rustling.

Breaking out of your trance, you looked over, only to notice your lover already looking at you. His eyes held such warmth and comfort as he smiled oh so tenderly your way. Eyes drifting away, heat rose to your cheeks, a soft blush painting them. Even after all this time, the absolute love and adoration that radiated from him never ceased to stir something deep within your heart.

“Wh-what is it, honey?” You timidly called from the shield that was your hair.

He chuckled, admiring you a bit longer before finally speaking up. “I’ve always loved how bashful you can be at times, darling.”

He always knew what to say to cause you even more embarrassment. As you let out a small whine of distress, his chuckle morphed into laughter. Smiling and turning to him, violent coughs began to wrack his entire body. Panic and adrenaline surged through your body, propelling you forward. Your arms encircled his figure, your hand rubbing soothing circles on his back, not stopping even as his coughing fit came to a close.

Removing his hand from his mouth, blood droplets splattered about, staining his normally porcelain skin red. You fished a napkin from your uniforms pocket, gently dabbing the sanguine fluid from his mouth and hand. He flashed an apologetic look your way which you answered with a small smile.

“I’m sorry, (Y/n). I brought you out here to cheer you up but now you’re taking care of me. I-“

Chuckling, you cut him off. “Jushiro, we’re married. I would do anything for you, just as you would do the same for me.”

He looked deeply into your eyes, seemingly contemplating something. It didn’t take long for him to voice his thoughts, however.

“I fall in love with you more and more everyday, (Y/n).”

Your eyes widened momentarily, the blush that had just diminished coming back in full swing within a split second. But, it all quickly dissipated. The butterflies, your heart skipping a beat, all of it. Gone. Your thoughts instantly turning dark, souring, as your gaze turned from your husbands. They found their way somewhere behind him.

“Even with everything that’s happened with me? Even with all of my issues? I know I just make life so much more difficult on you and I’m-“

He cut you off, a hand on your shoulder and the other cupping you’re cheek. “(Y/n). My love. My darling. The most important thing in my life. Please, do not be so hard on yourself. I know it’s hard and it may always be that way, but you are not a burden on me, far from it actually. Do you not recall what you just did for me?”

You paused for a second, letting his words sink in before tentatively nodding. “But, what about my sca-“

“I will always love you. No matter what. I am your husband after all, am I not?” He smiled softly, his eyes closing.

Letting out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding, you smiled as well. “Yes, you are.”

Pulling your arms up to his lips, he began to plant gentle kisses to your scars. The gesture always brought tears to your eyes. It didn’t matter how happy or sad you were, nor how many times he did it. It made your heart feel warm and full of love, overflowing for your lover.

“I love you, darling.”

Your smile only grew. “I love you too, my guardian angel... Thank you for always making this day a little bit better...”

Fibromyalgia flares are starting to kick in more this week, but as an essential worker with a chronic illness I got to work. 😔

I’m lucky to have my job, and I’m grateful that they accommodate me as much as they can.

But... This is where the system is broken and how ableism is highly prevalent.

I have fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue as well as PTSD and Bipolar II.

At my previous job before this, I was laid off under the note that it was the off-season, (It was a seafood restaurant) But they admitted that one of the big reasons they laid me off was because they did not believe I was sick even though I could have easily procured the documents from therapy and from my psychiatrist. I was 16 at the time, and I regret not stepping up for myself. This was before I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia btw.

It took 5 months for me to get back up on my feet, which lead me to my current job.

I was desperate at the time, I had bills to pay and a truck to take care of. I would take any job even if it sacrificed my well-being.

I had certification from the local community college that stated that I knew OSHA laws and how to handle foods safely, so I applied as a cook.

But due to my age at the time, I settled for phones. This would end up being a big mistake on my part. But I was desperate, and not many employers want an employee with severe mental health issues.

It took months to get used to, since I never had done phones for a job before and my first day was embarrassing.

The very first day, we were slammed. I decided that after watching my manager teach me the ropes, that I would try. I ended up being screamed at and cussed at, which led me to a panic attack.

They did not fire me that day, but helped me out and ease my anxieties. Which I took as a good sign. I was hopeful, that despite my last job laying me off partly due to my mental health that this job was willing to keep me.

Sadly, I lived through traumatic event after traumatic event since I lived with my neglectful mother and traumatic events at my high school. It became too much, as for it seemed every time I was on the phones I would get incredibly anxious and panicked. But even after a break that they were willingn to accommodate me with , I was under strict obligation to continue doing this. Which, I was grateful for but it became too much.

Essentially indirectly asking me to relive trauma over and over again, at the expense of others and a handful of customers who I was expecting to treat me like shit consistently through the night.

Which I did not mind at the time, because I had it built into me that if I did not do this they would get rid of me and I would be worthless.

It was after a severe panic attack that lead to anger outbursts, falling and self harm that I called it quits from the phones and wrote a letter to my boss. I could not do this anymore.

Despite it all, they were still willing to keep me and give me SOME cook hours since I just turned 18. I was grateful and happy, but still being obligated to those phone hours hung over my head like a potential noose.

I still did phones even if I began to notice how people got to me, how some customers would see me panic and cry. I saw fear in their eyes and some I saw compassion and empathy. With new medications switching off all the time, being rediagnosed with Bipolar II went into deeper waters. I grew angrier and angrier, even though I did my best feigning happiness and trying to act okay. I was not okay, forcing me to keep reliving my traumas was not okay.

I grew more hesitant with each phone call I picked up, was this person going to call me a bitch? Were they going to scream at me? Would this person over the counter threaten to hurt me again?

Even today, this effects me. I’ve become afraid of the public. Panicking when someone I did not know get too close to me. I panic a little when coworkers slightly touch me. This is not okay.

It took a year and 5 months to get the accommodations I’ve been wanting.

That was only after I fell and hit my head on solid linoleum flooring, my boyfriend heavily concerned for me (we work together here), and was extremely worried when I slept and woke three hours later confused and dizzy.

It was again I sent a note, that this was indefinite. I can’t do this anymore, that I was unsure what to do and if I should just quit.

Once again, they still valued me and gave me all the cook hours I could have wanted.

I was finally at ease.

But I was still obligated to at least help out if I could.

I was grateful, but that doesn’t stop the flashbacks and the paranoia.

So, I did my best when I could without incident. (Knock on wood and let it stay like that!)

But due to the pandemic, hours have been cut and we have ALWAYS BEEN understaffed. Yesterday, my manager and friend wishes for me to try and help with phones and getting orders outside.

A fear in my chest rose and I felt a brick in my throat. I want to help out. I don’t mind it, I’d do anything if they need help. But as much as I have explained to any of my other coworkers, it seems that all I had gotten was a “Suck it up”. No one seems to understand that I have a fear of other people. Due to years and years of neglect, emotional abuse, and domestic violence. With every cuss, agitation, and anger that has ever been directed towards me I relate it to the abuse I was forced to endure.

It has become a fear for my life at times simply forcing myself to do this.

Yes, there have been many times I simply wanted to quit and find something else. But that in itself is not easy.

No employee or corporate company wishes to waste pay on an individual with severe mental and physical health issues. No one wants someone with little experience.

I can not afford to leave just to wait for another job that may not accommodate me or even lay me off due to my health.

Being 19 with issues that I’ve been even contemplating disability, but that is a stretch due to my age and record despite trying so many antidepressants.

I was denied pain management for my fibromyalgia because they wanted me to try a particular drug first. But due to the pandemic has been pushed back, and now pushed back on my psychiatric and therapy appointments.

I am left with no coping mechanism and no medication to combat this.

I don’t really know what to anymore.

College has also become strenuous and I just don’t know what my next steps will be.

But this is the face of ableism.

You would not tell a veteran to “suck it up”, so why tell me that?

You would not force somebody to endure a nightmare over and over, so why do that to me?

I am prone to get sick more so than my partner... This is scary.

It’s because these individuals only believe in profit over people.

Sadly, this is the harsh truth and reality.

Hopefully we can change that one day.

Thank You, My Chemical Romance

March 22. It’s been 6 years since my favorite band (and in my opinion the best band that will ever walk the earth) My Chemical Romance broke up. While their music means the world to me, I don’t “wish they would get back together” because they broke up for a reason; the members’ mental/physical health were suffering big time. Yes, I love their music with my entire being, but my wish is for the guys to be happy and healthy. Their health and happiness is of the utmost importance; it should be for all of their fans.

Anyways, My Chem. I can’t even begin to explain the importance this band has in my life. You hear people say how music “saved their life.” That’s exactly what My Chemical Romance did for me—and then some. I can say, with full confidence, that I would be six feet under if it weren’t for their music. This is about more than just a catchy tune for me—this is a band whose music I thankfully discovered late 2017 (way late, I know) & ended up relying on during the worst chronic illness flare-up of my entire life thus far.

Aside from helping me through chronic illness flare-ups, I became inspired to finally learn how to play the guitar; watching Frank Iero jam out fueled the fire in me that was the desire to learn guitar. Growing up, there was a small part of me that wanted to learn how to play guitar, but I never even gave it much thought let alone attempted to learn how because I thought I was too stupid to learn how to play an instrument. (I legitimately had zero self-esteem growing up due to being bullied my entire grade school career.) Thankfully, however, just last year I surprised myself by naturally developing a genuine, healthy, solidified level of self-esteem, along with confidence, self-acceptance/love, & insight to mindfulness and introspection. My life, how I view myself & others, and how I communicate to myself & others has drastically changed for the better as a result, too. I am the best I’ve ever been as an individual.

To get to the point, around 11 months ago I decided to embark on the journey of learning how to play the electric guitar. This I probably wouldn’t have done had it not been the passion & inspiration I got from Frank (and Ray, too) and the band in general.

Guitar. Wow, guitar. Where do I even begin? My entire life my mind has been bombarded with noise at the hands of chronic (mental) illness; noise that plagued my childhood, but that I thankfully learned how to manage for the most part. However, one cannot change their brain chemistry, so my baseline always consists of some level of “noise.” But not with guitar. Guitar is the only activity that I can sit down & do and my mind is finally quiet. It’s just me and the music. It’s me and the activity that is now my favorite thing to do in the entire world—play guitar. Guitar also helped me through health flare-ups. But moving on from the dark stuff (I hate parties, pity parties for myself being no exception), I have never been so genuinely passionate about something, with every fiber in my entire fuhking soul, as I have with guitar. It is the highlight of each day, and I am so thankful to be able to play. It is a privilege & an honor to play guitar.

My Chem’s music has been able to describe & help me through so many things in my life—the good and the bad. I listen to them every single day. They ignited the confidence & strength I now possess within myself. I no longer care what anyone else thinks of me; I am myself, unapologetically. (Always trying to better myself, though, because we all have room to improve). I got back to dressing how I actually like (all black & such) and embraced my whole self—something I couldn’t have done without MCR. It may sound corny, but if you become one of the lucky ones who finds a music group/artist whose music reaches into your fuhking pericardial cavity and touches your fuhking soul, you will understand.

Not only that, but Frank. Frank Iero. That man, too, has changed my fuhking life. I also would most certainly not be here today if it weren’t for Frank’s music either; this includes his entire discography, from a Pencey Prep to LeATHERMØUTH to FIATP, etc. His, MCR’s & Eminem’s lyrics have hit home the hardest for me, which is a blessing because they have helped me feel like I’m not alone during the times where I am convinced I am. (Cue the lyrics, “No ones ever felt like this before, oh no. No one’s ever been like me before. I’m sure of it, sure of it,” by FIATP) Yes, it sounds corny, but it’s true, and I have no problem admitting that I found/find solace & validation in their music. It’s crazy at how detailed, poetic, and accurate Frank’s lyrics are. He is an incredible, one-of-a-kind human being that deserves nothing but the best in the world. His discography put all the mangled desolation, along with the beautiful, into the most perfect of words—a talent few possess. I owe Frank & My Chem my life. I will forever be grateful for the music they have blessed the world with. I will forever be thankful I discovered & started to listen to their music. I will never stop listening. Thank you, My Chemical Romance. 🖤

How I do it

How do I manage my fibro, chronic fatigue, chronic migraines, and have the energy to do the things I want on the weekend without throwing myself into a flare? Answer is I don't. I have a friend who keeps trying to get me to try plexus but I can't really afford it to begin with and I'm allergic to the world so I'm kinda hesitant to try it. He keeps telling me all these things about how plexus has helped other fibro patients and other chronic illness patients with more energy, better gut health, less pain, ect. He sees that from Monday til Thursday I'm best buds with my recliner or my couch and not really having good days. He doesn't see that on Friday I went shopping, picked up groceries, grabbed my meds and my mother in law's meds and groceries bc she just had back surgery, dropped off my mother in law's stuff, brought my groceries home and put them up by myself, had date night with my hubby, and picked up what I forgot at Wal-Mart the first time I was there that day. On Saturday I went with my hubby to his grandmother's to plow up her garden, then came home, washed one car and detailed it, meanwhile the hubby changed 2 fuel filters on 2 vehicles, and changed the brakes on a convertible, and then I cooked steaks, mac and cheese, baked beans, and crescents for dinner before running out of steam. Today we washed and detailed the convertible and went to a museum. Yes I'm tired! Yes I'm hurting! Yes I'll be in a huge flare tomorrow! Do I regret doing what I do on the weekend? Hell no! For me the pain is worth spending time with my hubby who doesn't know how to slow down. Yes I'm down for the next week but we made memories I won't soon forget.

So how is it I'm able to do things? Well it's actually kinda simple Monday thru Thursday I force myself to chill and relax. Most of the week all I do is shower, do light housework, and rest. My recliner is my best friend most of the time. I also have figured out how to pace myself even when I'm spending time with my family I take several breaks even when it seems like we're constantly busy I make time for several breaks whether it's sitting on the porch smoking a cigarette and talking on the phone or leaning against the car talking to the hubby while he puts the brakes on the car. I make time to take several breaks and give myself a rest. I may not be able to hold down a full time job bc my migraines and fibro flares hit at weird times but that doesn't mean I have to be a hermit either. I push myself hard and sometimes I push too far. This weekend I'll be paying for for a couple of weeks I can already tell. I've had a migraine trying to start since the museum today. I'm totally exhausted! Feel like my legs and arms are jello. We do stay busy on the weekends but this weekend really pushed the limits. My recliner and I will get real cozy tomorrow. Regardless of how much I do I always take time to chill out and rest. I take my meds faithfully. I've added CBD gummies when the pain gets too much to bare and they do help some but I still have to take a break to rest a while. Just because I'm not in a flare doesn't mean one won't hit me at any time which is what people who don't live with a chronic illness don't understand. I can be having an incredible day doing everything I love to do and suddenly my joints start locking up painfully or I can abruptly lose all energy and have to go to bed. It's not an exact science. Enjoy the good days but expect and prepare for the bad days.

15 Things You've Definitely Said If You Have Fibromyalgia

New blog post! When you have fibromyalgia, there are a couple things you usually have in common with other fibromyalgia warriors. For instance, you probably know how it feels to be in pain all day...or to wake up after 12 hours of sleep and still feel exhausted.

Today, though, I’m talking about something slightly different than fibromyalgia symptoms. Instead, I’m talking alllll about what life is like with fibromyalgia...at least in terms of things you’ve probably said at least once in your life since your fibromyalgia diagnosis!

So whether you have fibromyalgia and want to feel less alone or you know people with fibromyalgia and want to better understand what they’re going through, keep reading to discover 15 things you’ve probably said if you have fibromyalgia. 

1. “Why am I so tired?” 

Often followed by...“Did I not sleep well? Did I eat something that doesn’t agree with me? Is a fibromyalgia flare starting up?” 

2. “I know I said I could do it yesterday...but I just can’t today.”

Fibromyalgia often makes me feel like a major flake. The truth is, though, our bodies' limits constantly change. Every. Single. Day. So even if I could go on a 3-mile hike yesterday, that doesn’t guarantee that I’ll feel good enough to meet you for lunch a couple days after. And as much as we feel bad for canceling and wish the situation could be different, a lot of times, we have to put our health first.

3. “What works for me may not work for you.”

This goes for “helpful” advice from friends and family (like “I know someone who was healed from fibromyalgia by *insert activity like praying, guzzling apple cider vinegar every day, going raw vegan, doing yoga, etc.*) and advice from doctors and fellow fibromyalgia warriors. Everyone with fibromyalgia is different...and this means effective treatments differ between people too. 

4. “What would not being in constant pain even feel like?” 

A doctor once told me that I may have cried so much as a baby because I was already in pain...so the idea of a pain-free life? Pretty mystical to me - and many other people with fibromyalgia. 

5. “Yes, I am going to bed already/taking another nap.” 

People with fibromyalgia typically need more sleep and recovery time than the average Joe, so if we are spending extra time in bed, know it’s because we really need it and can’t function otherwise. 

6. “I tweaked something somehow yesterday.”

We can do the same workout, the same stretches and get the same amount of sleep and still somehow tweak a random muscle one day and not another. Fibromyalgia is always full of surprises...

7.  “I know I look normal and healthy, but I’m really not.”

One of the biggest challenges with fibromyalgia is its invisibility. But even though we may look “healthy” on the outside, our invisible illness means we’re probably hurting pretty badly on the inside. 

8. “Who took my heating pack?” 

Sometimes, I even take my microwaveable heating pack with me to hotels so I can warm it up in the hotel lobby microwave. Desperate times, desperate measures...

9. “Today’s a good/bad day.”

Another challenge of living with fibromyalgia is how much our pain levels and symptoms can vary by the day (depending on the weather, the food we’ve eaten, how mad the fibromyalgia gods are at us, etc). On the good days, we feel alright and sometimes even like we are “normal” and can conquer the world. But those good days can make the bad days even harder to accept. 

10. “I am sooooooo out of it today.” 

When I have to describe fibromyalgia fog to other people, I compare it to walking through life like a zombie. How bad is it? It’s jumping when you hear popping in the microwave because you already forgot about the popcorn you just put in it. Or asking why your phone can’t locate the WiFi when you just unplugged the modem to reset your WiFi. (And, yes, both of these moments did happen just a few weeks ago...)

11. “Did I take my pills yet?”

Fibromyalgia fog + needing to take certain pills each day = a lot of double checking your pill organizer. 

12. “Sometimes life is really. Not. Fair.”

If you follow my blog, you’ll already know that I try to look for the positives in living with chronic illness. However, I’ve certainly called my mom plenty of times to cry about how it’s “not fair” that going to college, teaching in grad school and just life overall is so much harder for me than my “normal” classmates because of my fibromyalgia. And I sincerely doubt I’m the only fibromyalgia warrior who sometimes breaks down this way. 

12. “Yes, I am finally warm now that I’m wearing four layers of clothing.”

When I wrote one of my most popular fibromyalgia posts to date - 15 Ways You Can "See" My Invisible Illness, Fibromyalgia - I was surprised by how many others related to always being cold...and always bringing an extra jacket because the cold drastically increases your joint pain. 

13. “Whyyyyy do I suddenly feel so cruddy?”

Sometimes, fibromyalgia flare ups come out of nowhere. I’ve drastically reduced my daily pain by making some dietary and lifestyle changes, but I still have nights where I feel run over by a truck.

14. “You have fibromyalgia too!?!” *happy dance*

Even though it sucks to hear that someone else is struggling with the same obstacles you are, meeting someone who can totally understand what life is like with fibromyalgia is pretty dang reassuring. 

15. “I hurt and it was hard...but I did it.”

We might say this after tackling a challenging workout. After dropping the kids off at school. After just freakin’ getting out of bed. Regardless of what challenge - large or small - you just overcome, it’s important to remember that you are a BOSS for doing it even with fibromyalgia trying to drag you down. 

Personally, I think living with fibromyalgia has made me even stronger, better person than I would've been with a “normal” body. It’s taught me perseverance. Patience. How to love a body even when it’s slightly broken. And I hope that you say comment #15 out loud to yourself at least once a week. Because, to be completely honest, living with fibromyalgia is hard, even though some days are better than others. So celebrate your wins. Celebrate when your mind and body do get along. And keep kicking life’s booty!

The Bottom Line of Living with Fibromyalgia 

If there’s one takeaway I hope you get from this article, it’s that life with fibromyalgia has its ups and downs. Sometimes, we find ourselves complaining about a bad pain day or trying (and often failing) to explain how we’re feeling to others. Other times, we feel like Superman (or Wonder Woman) and rejoice at connecting with people who share our unique fibromyalgia “superpowers.” 

At the end of the day, though, fibromyalgia is a part of who we are and many of these comments make regular appearances in our daily life. My biggest hope? That you’ll be saying the latter half of number 15 more and more often in the near future! 

What do you commonly find yourself saying regularly because of your chronic illness (whether it’s fibromyalgia or something else)? Tell me in the comments! 

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Susanne - Success Story - Heal Endometriosis Naturally With Wendy K Laidlaw

Listen to Wendy talk with Susanne from Sweden about her successful journey on Heal Endometriosis Naturally, 12 Week Online Foundation Membership Program with Wendy K Laidlaw.

Discover more about how this may help you and download your FREE Top 5 Jump Start Tips at Https://HealEndometriosisNaturally.com

  Read full transcript below:

Wendy: Good afternoon. My name is Wendy K Laidlaw from Heal Endometriosis Naturally.com. I'd like to thank Susanne for being with me today. She's agreed to be interviewed about her experience with Heal Endometriosis Naturally book (Heal Endometriosis Naturally Without Painkillers, Drugs or Surgery, and the online 12 Week Foundation Program. 

Welcome, Susanne. Susanne: Thank you very much. Wendy: Great to have you here. You look lovely and healthy today all the way in Sweden there. And so yes, thank you so much for agreeing to be interviewed. It's always such a joy to have a chat with women who have obviously experienced the book and experiences of the program. And I just wonder -- this is where I can ask you some questions about your experience. So maybe you could just tell people a little bit about your background, just how you first heard about me, about the book and then a bit more about the 12-week foundation program. Susanne: Okay. It's so much so -- it's difficult to know where to start, but my background is that 14 years ago I had the first flare of endometriosis and actually I was lucky enough to get diagnosed quite soon. I only had it for a couple of months before I got my diagnosis and that was through [stutters] Wendy: Laparoscopy? Susanne: That's right. Susanne: Then they took away three cysts. That's what they could see and after that they wanted to put me on a medicine to get me into the menopause. And I did some reading about it and I was working with health, actually, some alternative therapies, and the side effects of the drug they wanted to give me -- I can't remember its name -- but it was horrible, I thought, and back then there was not so much information on the internet but there were a few, what do you call it -- not blogs but...losing the name. It was a group of people having endometriosis. They were connected and you could only see the bad things, how horrific everything was. When they got this medication they got better from the endometriosis but they got a horrific side effects so they couldn't go to work anyway. And I thought that's not my way. I'm not gonna do it that way and so I went to a couple of different alternative therapists and they led me into thinking about if it had something to do with my stomach. And I usually had a bloated stomach. 

I was sensitive for different kind of foods. I knew that, and when I asked the doctors to see if there was a connection between my intestines, the flora in my intestines with bacterias and the endometriosis. They said, "That costs too much money. We can't do that. You need to get me scientific studies that there is a connection before we can do that kind of research on you." And then I thought, well, I need to do this my own way, and through hair analysis I got to know that I had too much manganese in my body. It was actually 80 times as much as you're supposed to have and we found that I was from our water. There's a filter but it needed to be adjusted to get the manganese, so a nutritionist helped me with detoxing my body. I was practicing yoga to be able to stand the pain. And that actually helped me get well, so now after having got more and more knowledge about estrogen dominance and everything around, I think that it was not just the water that was the problem but the way I treated my body helped me out of the condition. So I've had 13 very good years after that. I've had two kids. I did have three miscarriages in between the kids, but two healthy kids and I thought that endometriosis, although the doctor says that it's a chronic disease, I thought that that's not in my life anymore. I was so worried that my daughter might get it so I started to do some reading last autumn so that I could have more lot knowledge about it. And the scary part is that my endometriosis actually flared up again after not having felt those specific feelings of pain that endometriosis gives me. And so I thought well, I've been well once. I just need to do the same things again and I will get better again. But it didn't come back quickly and I was a bit stressed I thought what what is wrong and I didn't know what triggered the endometriosis this time. And so I was searching the internet and I found your page and your really nice offer to get the book for free so I sent for it. I started reading it and this time I was worrying that I might not get rid of the endometriosis if I don't go in and do a surgery to take away the cysts. But when I read about serrapeptase and your experience with that, I thought great, that gives me hope again. And last time I went on a very strict diet. I didn't have any flour, not wheat, not any grains at all and this time when I read more about your experiences with wheat and gluten it was actually easier than last time. So I went back to a quite strict diet. And what else did I do? Well yes, I started to do some journaling just from reading your book. Not at all the three pages as you encouraged us to do now, but I started to write pain scores and what my activities were and what the outcome was and then I thought now it would be really nice to get a support, to get help to work it through, so that's why I entered the 12-week foundation program. Wendy: Yes, that was fantastic that you reached out. So when you applied for the Foundation Program I think you said that you were just trying to pick up from where you'd left off the last time. You had tried to manage it through diet and serrapeptase. So what in particular, when you're saying you wanted support, what did you feel that you needed support in? Because obviously you've been very successful before. You felt something had changed this time and you weren't able to identify the trigger, what had caused it to flare up, but what in particular made you sort of reach out for support through the foundation program? Susanne: Well, I knew that there was something that I missed, so I needed to have a detective to help me go through everything. I had -- when my new flare up--  it was in September 2017. And it was at worst in December, January, February. I was bedridden for eight days after my period and with pain scores from two to six so it wasn't as bad as 14 years ago. I was bedridden for two years - no, two weeks every month and the pain scores up to ten sometimes and that was such a depressing time. I had a really difficult time before I made it all turn. And I knew I don't want to go there this time. And when I started the program I was down at pain score from zero to two so I was quite good but I wasn't satisfied. I knew that life can be better. I do want to be able to plan what to do because that is so sad, not being able to plan anything, not being able to promise the kids to go there, to take them there, to be with them because you might need to stay on the sofa all day. 

So I thought, well, I need I need the support, a detective to know what is causing it this time. And I am really happy that I did join because during this time, during the 12 weeks, I was still making progress. In the beginning of the program it was more repetition what I had done before, and of course you have written it all in the book but you always get new things. You see things from a different perspective and it was very good and I felt better and stronger. But I think it was four weeks into the program and that my mother got very ill and we needed to go in and out to the emergency with her and it was very stressful and not being able to help her. She wasn't in a state that she she could take in what we are we were telling her. And that situation would probably have caused me to go backwards into the more difficult stage of the endometriosis because of all the stress and because you don't -- well, I shouldn't say you don't but I knew I know myself and if somebody needs my help I go there and help them and I skip the things that are important for me. For this stage I needed to to do certain things for myself and you helped me stay there to do the basic things and to actually coach me through this difficult time with my mother, and that's something that I never would have expected. I'm sorry. I get a bit emotional now. It was so good having you, to talk to you, and to support me in the Program well, I needed to take some some more digestive enzymes in that period and that's something that I wouldn't have been thinking about myself so it was great and actually now my mother is much better and her situation has stabilised and I think that the most things about her illness and your Program and support has helped me. It was actually very good timing. It has helped me to get more in contact with my emotions and to get much deeper into the relationship with my old family. Wendy: And I know that was very important to you because it was such a shame that you just started the (Foundation) Program and then this had happened. But equally, it was great that you were open to do the support, I keep I referring to it as the ‘oxygen mask’ scenario, where if you don't put on your own oxygen mask and don't look after yourself then you can't help other people. You then become very very ill. But a lot of women with Endometriosis are fantastic caregivers, very sensitive and perceptive, and aware of other people, and whilst that is a lovely quality, sometimes -- I know I was guilty of it too -- of doing it too excesses, where I had nothing left to give but I kept giving out to other people. 

And I think that certainly one aspect of the (Foundation) Program is remembering you have to look after yourself so you can help other people. And with your mother being so ill, and you're right, normally in these situations then you forget to eat and you forget to look after yourself and it's just remember to keep the basics. And full credit to you. You kept turning up on our calls and you kept turning to the group calls and you you kept going. Because I do believe that life throws you obstacles in the way. 

Sometimes on this new journey when you're trying to heal yourself and it can be very, very frustrating. So what about the emotional element you talked about; developing your relationship with your emotions? And I know and I'll share this for people who are listening -- you found it quite difficult to cry before, didn't you? You were saying that to show your emotions in that way felt, felt challenging for you and now you feel a bit more comfortable with yourself, to show your emotions. So thank you for being so vulnerable on this interview with us. But maybe you want to share a bit more about your relationship with your emotions now? Susanne: It's not easy to say words on it, but the journaling has helped me a lot to sort out my feelings and to structure my feelings and to to prioritize what to do next because in that situation where we were it's such a chaos. And nothing really works as usually. All the routines disappear> And the journaling and doing it in the morning, it was so good. And I know that you say in the beginning of the program that most people think that that's the most difficult thing to do. I thought it was difficult as well even though I started before, but then it was just some tiny notes. And after a while I did it in the evening you told me the importance of doing it in the morning. 

I started doing it in the morning after my yoga session, which is something that I wouldn't let go now. It helps me so much. But now I actually do it before my yoga. I do it right after waking up and I have -- I'm surprised that I do remember so many dreams. I think that it's almost impossible that I have dreamt as much as I do now earlier. But probably and I know now that if I do something else before my journaling, if I go around do things for 10 minutes, the dreams disappear. I don't remember them anymore. But right after you wake up they're still in your head and it's very interesting to -- most of them are strange. They don't make sense at all, but now I've been going back look through my journaling and I see that it's almost scary because I saw things in my dreams have actually developed to be true. To be honest, it doesn't make sense when you write this but after a while and you see that, wow, I could see that coming. And many science I I've been thinking about "Am I doing this right?" the journaling, but you said that there is no right and wrong. Just try not to be judgmental and I've had that in my mind. And, well, many of my emotions, they have as soon as I get the courage to write them down, they are not scary anymore. As soon as I write them I can work through them, see if there is something I need to do, somebody I need to contact, next step with somebody in a relationship, or if it's somebody something I just can let go. And quite often it is it is something that I don't need to carry around. I can just let it go and it gives me a sense of being much stronger, wiser, calmer, and by that it's been easier to talk to friends and relatives about emotions. When we talk it's not just about daily things. We tend to talk about more emotional things and and sometimes I cry. Sometimes my friend cries. Sometimes we both cry, but it's just nice. It's not any hysterical crying, just transforming feelings that are released and it feels so good. Wendy: Weah that's fantastic. And I should share that obviously, as you mentioned, the journaling is one part of the three daily basics or the foundation program and there are other layers of changes that we we make throughout the program, but the journaling was a challenge for you at the beginning and it is a challenge for everybody because normally when you've got endometriosis and your chronic pain and you're literally just getting through your life, just taking the time to journaling feels counterintuitive. But what the purpose is, and I'm glad to hear it's the same for you, is that you're getting in touch with your emotions. They're not big and they're not scary and you're learning to make the connection between what is happening in your emotions and how that manifests or how that resides in your body. And how would you say the program, the 12 week foundation program has helped you with regards to the relationship with your body? Susanne: I don't know. That was a difficult question. Wendy: Do you think through the journaling and through the education and the webinars that you maybe feel a bit more confident about your body? If there are any signs and symptoms in any aspect, you know have a better relationship with your body? Would you feel as well as your emotions? Susanne: Well, as I -- bodies are very much in my interest. I trust bodies to heal themselves. I've always had that in mind but it's always more difficult when it happens to yourself and you don't see the whole picture. It's easier to just stay in one corner and it's very easy to become a victim. And it's also difficult when it's a close friend or relative that is sick or ill or hurt in any way. It's so much easier to see what other people could do to get better. But, well, as I said, I've always had that with me since I was a kid, that the body is amazing at healing itself and now it was so good to have you as a as a coach to help me with this wider perspective to have a look at my body. Wendy: I think it was the multimodal approach to the program that was very important to me because I was unaware of how your emotions would affect your hormones and how symptoms and signs in your body could be different -- types of signs and symptoms that we're giving out different messages. Different emotions we're giving different messages in relation to the body, and I think that's what I hear from you and I hear a lot of the women in the program, is they develop this confidence, not only within their own instincts, their own emotions. They're more comfortable with their emotions, recognizing their emotions are messengers, they're telling them things, and then also been able to tune in to their body in a slightly different way than they've done before because the body before was invariably screaming out to them in pain when something was wrong but any pain and any symptoms are signs and messengers that there's something there that needs attention, and that's as you said earlier in the beginning, that's where you and I work together as detectives to try and fine-tune different things. But I think what's been lovely in your particular experience of the foundation program is, as you said, you really understood the body is an amazing thing, which is probably going to be hard for some women to hear if they're writhing around in pain and bad with endometriosis. They may not feel that loving towards their body right now, but when they learn what's causing the pain, because there's always a cause -- it's cause and effect -- if they identify what the causes are and remove that, then as you said the body is an amazing thing and will heal itself. But what I've heard from you is that you really appreciate the emotional component, which is not something that tends to get talked about, and dealing with that and then becoming more comfortable with your emotions and things So if anyone was listening and considering joining the foundation program, what what would you be saying to them? What are the key aspects, apart from the journaling and the power shakes thing? What, for you, has been most significant or important aspect that you would take away from the foundation program? Susanne: Well, I was thinking about joining for a long time. As new and had this belief about the body, and I knew that I had been healing myself before I thought I can do this on my own again. But after a while I thought, no, I don't have time to do this and when you're in pain you're tired and I thought I got some kind of dizziness, so it was difficult to do a lot of reading and studying on my own. And in the beginning it felt a little bit like I was giving up by joining, but as soon as I had joined the program I thought, "Oh shit, why didn't I do this earlier?" because it's such a relief to have somebody to talk to you with the experience of healing endometriosis yourself. And, well, you were talking about the emotions. I had done everything I thought possible with the products and physical stuff, but I didn't have a clue about the emotions. I did I did a lot of relaxation training and mental training because I know that mental training has helped me very much before, both in sports situations and in in daily life. But this is another way of looking at the emotions and, well, one of the first things, actually -- I think it happened the first week -- was that you advised me to include my family. And I thought that I don't want to drag them down into this boring and -- well, I can't really find the words for it, but this black hole that endometriosis is for me. I did everything to provide for them,  to have a good time. I just put myself in a sofa and said, "Did you go out and do this?" and my husband and my kids they went out to see friends and do fun things while I was in the sofa. And I didn't really inform the kids about what was going on and the first week I realized that I'm so stupid. Of course, of course they want to know what's wrong with me and as I'm as soon as I did that that was the first relief, actually. And I get emotional again. But I've got a six year old and a 11 year old and this six year old, he was listening but he thought, "Oh, can we do something else now?" when I was trying to tell them about the disease what I was doing and that I was getting help through this foundation program. But anyway, after that little family session it was so much easier and that was the first stage of my emotional trip, actually, to let them in and to -- well, the idea I'm not carrying the burden all by yourself. It's not a sign of being strong, trying to fix everything yourself. I have learned that it's more courageous and you're stronger if you can ask for help and if you're willing to take help. Wendy: Yeah, and I think he done so brilliantly in that regard because I know that that was very difficult for you at the beginning. And again, that's very common with women with endometriosis. I knew I was the same. It felt like a sign of weakness to ask for help. I felt like a burden. I felt like a drain. I didn't feel very good about myself either when I was in a chronic stages of pain and lying on in bed. But I think when you have the support to be able to say and explain it does take more courage to share with your family -- this is the situation, this is what I need from you, and would you help support me through this program -- because I want to get myself -- well, I want to live my life again and sometimes, you know, it's even just getting support and the language and how to approach it, ow to do with them because sometimes you're just getting through the day dealing with the pain without trying to think about how you might communicate that. But I agree, it is definitely takes more courage to share you know what's going on. And that's why in the first week of the program I encourage you all to sit down with your families and let them watch the video of the laparoscopy. Suddenly they've got a whole new perspective on the laparoscopy operation and what's going on in your inside. And that's, again, just part of building your confidence, building up your voice and helping you share your emotions. So if anyone was considering joining the program, what would you say to them? What would be your your parting words to people if they're maybe struggling on their own at the moment? They're maybe following my book and maybe taking them longer than they'd like. What would you say about the foundation program? Susanne: Well, I would say don't hesitate. I really recommend. It's the best support to really get going because there are always things in your life that turns up. And then it's so easy to get your actions for endometriosis on hold and that's dangerous to do that. But the program is the best way to really keep fighting and the twelve weeks, they passed quite fast, and it's difficult to really see the difference all the time. And although I just did the basic things in the program for five weeks and then I had a lot to catch up, it was so interesting now in the end to look back in the journaling, see what I've done, how I felt and to reflect on how I have changed. And it's not only the pain score in the endometriosis that has decreased. There are so many more things that has happened and the things that I wrote at the beginning of the program, what I would do when I felt pain free, I've already started to do. I achieved them. Yeah, and by then I felt like a dream, a dream that might be impossible even though I did have this feeling about natural healing, that it would work. But it was still a dream that I didn't know if it would come true ever and now they have come true, many parts of it. And it's it feels like I'm the boss of my life now. And I think that one reason that my endometriosis flared up again was that I had lost contact with myself, both by caring more for the kids than for myself, and I had a job that was quite demanding, a lot of traveling, and I had a bad conscious of leaving the kids so much. So when I was home I just spent time with them and there was never time for me, for myself, and in this program you really need to look after yourself. What do I need? And get in touch with yourself. Now it feels so -- I can't find the word for it, but it's so natural. It's not strange at all. It's just as it's supposed to be and instead of just running around in circles doing what other people want me to do, now I'm the boss in my life. And I didn't think that would be an outcome or this program. I was just looking forward to a pain-free life. Now it feels like it that is a small thing. That is the greatest thing when you are in pain but now I even get more so that's something to look forward to if you're planning to join the program. Wendy: Fantastic. And I think that's it. I remember feeling had this great desire to get well when I was bedridden but didn't know how to do it so that's what I put everything that I learned into my book., by putting into the program. And people just have to plug in to the various steps that I've taken and learn from what I learned and not have to just struggle to find out these things themselves. And as you said, there's normally a number of different elements that we need to look at any one given time and it's hard to do that when you're on your own. And then obviously we do have the group Q&As every two weeks, as well. How do you find that coming together with other women that are going through the program? Susanne: That it's very good. You get a perspective and they take up things that I haven't thought about that turns out to be important for me as well. And it's very important not to feel alone and even though I've just listened to them during these group calls it feels like we're a team. We're fighting together and it's so great to hear that they're getting better as well. Wendy: I feel that that's really important. Women with endometriosis -- and I knew I felt exactly the same. I felt so alone, terribly alone, and I made a vow, I made it my mission that once I got well that I would write what worked for me and make sure that there was enough support in place for women so that they felt part of a group and a community that was not just talking about the pain or the symptoms or surgery but actually talking about getting well and healthy and and getting their life and their body back. Because they can be so designing when you got a flare-up or when you know you're bedridden again and you don't know why. But as you say, when you're going to the program yourself -- that's why it's 12 weeks because it does take time to start to see the changes with planting seeds along the way whilst removing and swapping out any offending products or people or foods or anything, depending on what's what's the issue for you -- but having a support and hearing other people, again, it just makes you feel you're part of something and not alone enough. That's a big thing> But thank you so much for taking the time out to chat me today. I would say if anyone is interested in getting more information on the foundation program, it is over a 12-week. It's an online membership program with 12 one-on-one appointments with me, group calls, handouts, downloads, Facebook group.

You get all the support that you need.

Please go to HealEndometriosisNaturallyCourse.com or go on to HealEndometriosisNaturally.com and you can click on details there on how to join up.

Equally, if anybody would like to get a free paperback copy of my book which lays out my story and a step-by-step guide of what worked for me then go on to Https://HealEndometriosisNaturallyBook.com and you can order your FREE copy there (I just ask you to pay the shipping and handling). Wendy: Susanne, thank you so much for taking the time out. I know there will be so many women to get so much encouragement and hope and from hearing your story. And full credit to you. You've had a lot of challenges thrown your way throughout the program, but you stuck with it, you kept going, you didn't give up and I'm so pleased that you've seen the benefits on the program that you have. Susanne: Thanks, and I want to encourage those with the Endometriosis that I'd never give up because it is true the body is going to heal itself if you give it the opportunity and it's so great to get the life back again. So go for it! Wendy: Well, thank you so very much, Susanne for sharing. Take care. We'll speak soon.

  Want to learn more;

Download your FREE Top 5 ‘Jump Start’ Tips  at Https://HealEndometriosisNaturallycom

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How To Thrive When Chronic Illness Disrupts Your Career

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How To Thrive When Chronic Illness Disrupts Your Career

Your first job is your health. Speak up for what you need and it’s ok to take time for you.

According to the CDC six in ten adults have a chronic disease, creating a common challenge faced by millions every day: How do you make accommodations in your working life for your health needs? 

Part of my own journey to becoming an entrepreneur came out of developing Lyme disease. Prior to becoming ill, I was in a job which was unsustainable for me to continue. I know I’m not alone in this experience. 

I spoke with two other women with chronic Lyme disease who have adapted to the realities of their medical diagnosis and built thriving careers. These women share experience-backed advice for others who are struggling with a chronic illness which is impacting their ability to perform their job. 

Your dreams and ambitions are just as big as before diagnosis. Your illness doesn’t have to stop you from having a rewarding and fulfilling career. 

Emily Levy is the founder of Mightywell, a medical accessories company, along with friend and cofounder Maria del Mar Gomez. Levy was inspired to start Mightywell out of a desire to create the products missing in the marketplace that she wished she had to make the experience of illness easier. For many facing chronic illness, entrepreneurship may become the path not only because it affords flexibility, but also because illness gives unique insights to where there are unmet needs. This births business ideas and newfound passions. Levy felt the demands of a traditional corporate career path would pose too much of a challenge, but even more so, she felt a “resounding yes” at the idea of Mightywell and it became her “North Star.” 

Hannah Olson, founder of Chronically Capable, has had a similar experience to Levy. Olson found herself with no option but to leave her dream job due to her aggressive treatment schedule. Now, she aims to make sure no one ever has to choose between their health and work ambitions. Chronically Capable connects those with chronic illness and disabilities with flexible job opportunities at progressive companies who have greater willingness to be inclusive and make accommodations. Not everyone wants to start a business or has career ambitions in alignment with entrepreneurship. Olson is working to change the employment landscape to ensure entrepreneurship is not a forced choice. She shares her personal insights of working with chronic illness, but also has guidance for those navigating getting accommodations from an employer.

Whether you are or want to be an entrepreneur, or hope to climb the corporate ladder, here are some key things to consider to help you succeed.

Learn to communicate and speak up for your needs 

In running her company Levy says, “I’ve had to learn to be very transparent in my needs. I’m not afraid to tell people, sorry, today I just can’t do it. I’ve certainly had to cancel meetings. And I found that just by being transparent and upfront that this is where I am with my health, people are a lot more understanding.”

Speak up early if you’re in an interview process, advises Olson. “[At Chronically Capable] we try to work really closely with our applicants to encourage them to disclose and ask for accommodations upfront. It’s a lot easier than waiting six months into the job and having to have this awkwardness.” 

If you’re already in a job you’re going to have to speak up if you want accommodations. Keep in mind that, in the United States, you may have some legal rights for accommodations. Do educate yourself on your situation and seek legal counsel. It’s also encouraging to note that regarding Covid-19, Olson says, “There is going to be a change here, we’re in the middle of it. We’ve learned in the last nine months that an employee doesn’t necessarily need to be in an office in order to be productive and that you can be working on your own hours. So many people were left out of the workplace simply because of the fact that they couldn’t physically be in an office. This is opening up a world of opportunities for those who had been previously left out.” 

Hannah Olson, founder of Chronically Capable. Olson advises to speak up early for your needs if … [] you’re in an interview process.

Find community and mentorship 

“There are millions of people with chronic illnesses, but when you have one you can feel like you’re the only person,” says Olson. By finding those who understand, you can provide support to one another as you face similar challenges.  

One person to have in your support circle is a solid mentor. “Mentors have completely changed my life and I’d encourage others to find a mentor in that career path or direction that you’re aspiring to,” shares Levy. Olson echoes how helpful it is to have a mentor with chronic illness and has found mentorship from Levy invaluable. “She knows exactly what I am going through. Like the stress of talking to investors while you’re also going through treatment, and all these things.”

Do what you can, when you can

Levy has learned to be adaptable to the swings of illness. “I would highly recommend for chronic illness founders to bring their laptop to bed if you need to. Some days my legs don’t want to come with me but my brain works. I’ll send emails or do funding research. And then there are days I can’t look at a screen and will put on a podcast to keep learning.” 

Levy also suggests trying to plan ahead for when you know your symptoms may flare or needs may change. “I think what a lot of people don’t understand about chronic illness is that I can be on for that three hour event, but they don’t see that for three days after, that’s going to put me in bed. I try to plan ahead so if we know I’m speaking at our industry’s top conference of the year in Las Vegas, we need to make sure I’m taking time off afterwards, at least so I can work from bed.” 

Get support from colleagues or build a team 

“Getting support from your colleagues is another really great tactic. Having those people as your allies and advocates is so helpful because sometimes a manager just might not understand,” explains Olson.  

And if you start a company, don’t go it alone, advises Levy. While entrepreneurship has flexibility it’s still demanding, making it necessary to build a team of support. Maria Del Mar Gomez and Yousef Al-Humaidhi are Levy’s cofounders and together they have worked to ensure the company’s mission is still being supported whether Levy is in the office or not. Del Mar Gomez has become an invaluable support for Levy. “Especially when we were going through Morgan Stanley’s accelerator, there were plenty of times where I’d get fully ready, I’d put on the hair, the makeup, the outfit, get out the door and I would get to work and I would be drained. And on those days, I would call Maria. We just have this amazing bond where we kind of speak each other’s language.” 

Maria Del Mar Gomez (left) and Emily Levy (right), cofounders of Mightywell. Levy advises that if … [] you start a company, don’t go it alone.

Your first job is your health 

“My health really is my first job, and Mightywell, for better or worse will always be my second job, because if my health isn’t there, I can’t really function at work,” explains Levy. This is a sentiment shared by Olson who adds, “Managing your chronic illness in itself can be like a part-time or full-time job.” She advises taking time off or slowing down if you can financially afford to. “It’s ok to take time for you. We’re so forced as a society to believe that we have to work all the time, I had to teach myself it’s okay to slow down and for a while I was working a part-time job.” 

Recognize the benefits and strengths you’ve gained 

Chronic illness nudges you to learn important skills and life lessons everyone ill or not would benefit from. It’s really a masterclass in personal development.   

“We talk so much about all that has been taken from us with our illness. And it’s true, so much has been stripped of me, but I’ve also gained so much,” says Olson. “And I think that the media doesn’t represent the strength and opportunities that illness has given us as well. I wouldn’t regret being chronically ill now because I’ve been able to learn and do so much more than I ever would’ve.” 

Olson suggests using your cover letters to address your illness and highlight these strengths. “Talk about what are the unique skills and attributes that you’ve gained through this horrible experience, because that could make you an incredible worker. I’ve gained so much resilience, time management skills, I’m highly adaptable and able to balance a lot of different things. I understand the importance of taking breaks. You gain so much empathy for the people around you and it makes you such a great colleague. You are an asset.” 

Levy agrees and adds that as an entrepreneur illness makes her much more focused. “With limited energy, you have to really be maniacal about what things you’re spending your time on. It forces you to keep an eye on your North Star, and make sure that you’re being true to yourself and why you started this.”

From Careers in Perfectirishgifts

My Psoriasis Journey: Understanding How to Accept the Skin I’m In

My Psoriasis Journey: Understanding How to Accept the Skin I’m In

I had been 12 yrs old when I developed psoriasis. I experienced a patch which started growing at the hairline along the back part of my scalp. I had no clue what it was or what had been going on. It ended up being a bit scary, and even as a young child, I knew I really needed to get responses. Allow me to show you a quick glance at my travel with psoriasis.

My investigation

I remember telling my mum about the patch because I had been concerned. She thought that it was likely just dry skin, and this had been a reasonable premise. I brushed it off and moved about being my 12-year-old self. Looking back, I still can see some of the triggers that may have contributed to that very first psoriasis flare. I was at a stressful environment during school, I had just started puberty, also I had been told my family will be moving out from the town where I’d an adult. Discuss a big year!

It wasn’t until I moved into my new town, started at my new high school for a freshman, and developed much more scales which I started to think something different was going on besides dry skin. My mom decided it was time for you to take me to a dermatologist for a specialist opinion. This has been dermatologist’s conclusion. At the dermatologist’s office, I had been told, “Put this steroid lotion on, avoid the sun, and you’re going to be fine.” In hindsight, we were naive to think it might truly be simple.

” We had never been aware of psoriasis before. My mom started a look to learn more and answers on the internet. It was lots of research! Her hope was to obtain some alternative therapy options which will allow me to prevent steroid creams as far as you possibly can.

I began eating differently to help manage my psoriasis. We cut certain foods, and that I began taking some vitamins and supplements that were presumed to potentially aid with the illness. I wasn’t always great about sticking to those options. I was a teenager, also naturally, I’d”better” things to worry about. Years later, I participate in a clinical trial with a drug that was effective in curing my eczema. Nevertheless, as soon as I stopped taking that drug, my symptoms came back. Needless to say, there are a lot of ups and downs in my psoriasis travel.

Ups and drawbacks with psoriasis

During all of high school, I chased my scales from my own peers. Just close friends and family knew about what was hidden under my long sleeves, stockings, and bangs — or at least so I thought! I was embarrassed when someone might ask me” why I was so flaky,” or different comments along those lines. I feared that I wouldn’t be recognized if people knew about my psoriasis and that I will be seen so otherwise.

I specifically remember one particular moment at high school when a friend wouldn’t provide me a hug because she did not want my own skin to the touch her. It was as if she thought I’d taint her with my noncontagious chronic disease. I was absolutely mortified. It wasn’t until I’d graduated high school and started college that I realized I was sick of hiding from the whole world. I was sick and tired of these comments and the questions. I was tired of finding reasons and explanations for my own skin — something which I had no control over.

So, I really took a significant step. I took images of my back, my tummy, along with also my face using thumbs up. I composed that a caption that I thought would be best suited for the unveiling of my six-year secret. It ended up being a caption about self-love and around accepting yourself. It was all I wish I was in a position to feel and watch in my brain, every one of those six previous decades. Then I routed the pictures and also caption to become seen with each and everyone who I knew Facebook.

Here’s just a little snippet of everything I had to express: “I have Psoriasis, & I have spent multiple moot years of my life hiding my body any way I could. But now, I am proud of this human body I have, and wouldn’t give it up for anything. It has taught me to be certain & not care what other people have to think about me”

Once my article was up, I obtained the most overwhelming response of love, acceptance, and congratulations. I had achieved! I’d overcome the anxiety about what people may consider me! And that I let the world understand about my biggest mystery!

You can think of the amazing sense of relief I’d had. I published the most gratifying sigh. It felt like an enormous weight was lifted from my chest. I wasn’t afraid anymore. It was astonishing!

What I’ve learned about myself

Since that moment of discharge in 2011, my life with psoriasis was permanently altered. Although I have still gotten several nasty comments and strange appearances along the way, I embrace my epidermis. I can always tell myself to consider my own bravery and self-indulgent.

I am often contested how I can present my entire skin in people and how it doesn’t irritate me. To be completely honest, I love my skin! Yes, there are moments that I wish I had clear, healthy, and glowing skin. Yet, I wouldn’t be the positive woman I am today with no strong connection with my psoriasis. My eczema lent me a sense of individuality.

It helped me to learn that I had been, just how to be strong, how to vary, and also the way you can love myself.

The Takeaway

If there’s one thing that anyone can sign up for of the story, I really hope it’s this: Find your sense of self-love. We were given the bodies we live to get reasons. I feel that a higher knowing that I could handle life having a chronic disease. I persevere through life’s obstacles with an awareness of purpose, in addition to empowerment.