Battling Depression

Battling depression isn't about if you can or if you can't. It isn't about waiting for your motivation to sprout back someday. You can do it, your motivation needs to be sowed and tended to and cared for properly.

If you don't have the energy to get up, find it in yourself to move your limbs around while you wake up. It'll take a bit, but it'll physically be easier to peel yourself out of bed.

If you don't have the energy to shower, find it in yourself to wash your face and hands.

If you don't have the energy to do laundry, find it in yourself to just toss in one or two outfits.

If you don't have the energy to clean the room, find it in yourself to pick up little things you know what to do with before you even think about it. Things like trash or trinkets that go on shelves.

If you don't have the energy to take out the trash, find it in yourself to tie off the old bag and set it aside to replace a new one. You can bring it out on your way to work or school the next day.

You'll make progress, slowly, and you won't realize. One day you'll look in the mirror while you're washing your face and go, "I want to wash my hair," so you'll get in the shower. Washing your hair will turn into standing under the warmth of the water because you won't remember how much you missed it. It'll turn into remembering the warmth you can give yourself. You'll wash your hair, and you'll finally have it in you to wash your whole body with it.

You'll be grabbing your one or two outfits and say, "wow, my other clothes haven't been worn in awhile. I can throw in a few more things," and you'll do your first full load of laundry since it got bad.

You'll look at how much cleaner that room is when some of the trash and trinkets are out of the way, and you'll want to know how nice it'll look when it's done. You'll get that room clean, it might take a few days, but you will.

You'll be tying off that trash bag someday, and you'll think how short of a walk it is to get it to the door. You'll finally bring it outside before you replace the bag.

One day, you will look in the mirror again, and you will see a person, I promise, as long as you don't give up.

Maybe we are even more anxious and prone to spiralling because we were never allowed to speak about our fears and process them through communication with an outside source, someone we considered knowledgeable, trustworthy, and that would have kept us safe in any way (caregiver).

Maybe is this type of emotional neglect, of abandonment and gaslighting, of telling us "Ah, it's nothing/You're imagining stuff/You're being overdramatic/You're exaggerating things/You're too sensitive" (prolly used also to avoid thinking themselves about things they weren't sure about but felt responsible for) that only made us shut down our fears, have to deal with them alone without having the ability to, and let them rot inside in the dark instead of confronting, welcoming and understanding them so to let them free and feel free... Maybe all this is what is still blocking us. Keeping us in this anxious cycle.

This sensation of not feeling heard, seen or valued in our emotional and physical experience, of having our worries deemed as nothing and our ability of judgement, and our worth, been diminished. Of having our emotions and needs left unmet somewhere inside of us. They are probably what is crying and shouting from within us now. Through our fears and insecurities. Through our doubts and triggers. Let's talk more with oursleves and also let things out freely by confronting them when we feel okay to. Let's be more vulnerable, and even more let's talk with someone who has the right knowledge and can help us too in processing what is going on with us.

Even if we were taught so, we don't have to deal with everything alone cause others cannot be trusted or aren't able or willing to listen to us for whatever reason. There are people who can actually help us. Even just by listening to us. We're not too much, even when we're overthinking something that usually could be seen as nothing but in that moment feels like a humonguos weight. It's what happens when we're anxious, it's nothing we can easily control when overwhelmed. Let's be more compassionate with us too. We deserve love, respect, understanding and support whatever we're going through.

an emotional andrey rublev after winning his first masters 1000 title at monte carlo 2023

Ok I maybe a little bit late with this ('cause it's already 108 followers but-)

AAAAAAAA 100 FOLLOWERS!! THANK YOUUUU ALL SOO MUCHHHH you have no idea how much I appreciate all of your likes reblogs and support and just our interactions in general!!

Your mind is a sky, thoughts are the clouds. ☁️ Observe them as they pass by, without getting caught in their storm. Let each thought come and go, knowing that you are the vastness that remains. 🌟

Gentle reminder that emotions can be a trigger for overstimulation up to the point of a meltdown, even if they're positive.

I have literally had meltdowns and panic attacks from being too happy.

I know lots of people fight like hell to pursue happiness, but for me, my goal is to pursue calm and quiet.

One of my favorite genres of OC-centric stories (or even canon centric if I'm being honest) is the one where the author is clearly Having A God Damn Blast. It's silly, the world is actively bending over backwards to make things happen, and it's all for their favorite blorbos.

It's also really hard to read, not because of any technical issues or regular, bad writing issues. Nah, I have a hard time reading them because I physically can't take it all in. I skip over whole sentences, stop and start reading the same chapter. I laugh my ass off and go do something else for a bit.

It's hard to explain but if I had to, it'd be that these stories actively drive me to stim without meaning to. I literally, physically, can't calmly read these fics despite my best efforts. I have to pace. I need to wave my hands or smack my fingers together in little one handed claps. Snap my teeth or bounce on my heels.

I just.

I have to DO SOMETHING.

And because of that, I'm more liable to drop them because I end up stopping my OWN DAMN SELF from investing enough to keep up with updates. Double if the chapters tend to be really long cause it's then also an issue of time commitment.

I rarely comment as it is but these are stories I hold back from commenting on if I can help it cause I have SUCH a hard time being coherent or normal about it.

It's just so damn embarrassing how riled up I get (⁠;⁠ŏ⁠﹏⁠ŏ⁠)

me when i wanna scream this song but im on the bus :/

Love how quickly the mirage turtles get sent to space like okay we’ve established our setting we’ve got the bare bones of our characters now for the love of god. Send those creatures To The Fucking Moon

i feel like bakugou would have the worst case of cute aggression known to man. like he would look at deku and just have the urge to bite his face because he has these huge green puppy eyes and adorable freckles and bakugou just doesn’t know how to deal with it. like his first instinct is just to pinch and squeeze and bite and i can imagine that he wouldn’t even make the connection at first. he’d be so confused about it. he’d probably just go “wtf is my problem with deku again? why do i want to hurt him!? i thought i left that behind me” and he’d feel so bad about it like boy no honey no you’re just emotionally overwhelmed

× Negative Trait Tag Game.

Tagged by @kharonion and @katsigian , thank you so much💜

RULES: bold what always or almost always applies, italicize occasional or situational, strikethrough never applies.

— VINCE —

aggressive | arrogant | authoritarian | bitter | brutal | callous | cannibal | careless | cold/cold-hearted | compulsive | controlling | corrects others constantly | cowardly | critical | cruel | demanding | disillusioned | domineering | envious | emotionally stunted | greedy | grim | guarded | hard | harsh | hypocritical | impatient | impolite | intimidating | irritable | kidnapper | lazy | liar | lustful | materialistic | mean | merciless | messianic | mistrusting | narrow-minded | obsessive | opinionated | overbearing | over-critical | over-emotional | over-thinking | patronizing | proud | remote | repressed | rigid | rules with an iron fist | ruthless | sarcastic | self-righteous | self-indulgent | taciturn | torturer | touchy | traitorous | unsympathetic | unpredictable | uptight | vain | vengeful

This is a good list, but you know what's missing? deceiving, impressionable, indecisive, manipulative and stubborn!

Apart from that, I feel like I had to italicize a lot here, and that's because Vince is the type of person who really has two different faces depending on which circumstances you meet him under... the kind of pragmatic "True Neutral" alignment character that will do whatever suits his own purposes best in most situations, not too bothered with what is the morally good or bad thing to do.

He is not as cold-hearted as he can come across when he's in his slick "corpo persona" that he puts on when he has to deal with people on a professional level. He was made to believe his worth as a person is defined by how "useful" he is to others, and at the same time he's learned the hard way that showing weakness gets you swallowed quickly in Night City and the corporate world as a whole. It's this constant balancing act between being useful while not letting yourself be used that got him as far as he did.

At the same time, he is a bit of a dick who always wants to be right about everything. Behind the cool exterior is just this angry kid who's been fucked by life over and over again, had extremely high expectations put onto him and puts them on himself now, and has just really gotten kind of numb and disillusioned from the life he's leading. He's too proud and stubborn to ask for or accept help, craving to find some kind of meaning or purpose for himself in this whole mess, and then repeatedly falls for the wrong people and their empty promises.

On issues like his distrustfulness, his sarcasm, and his tendency to lie (about uncomfortable matters in particular) he is working though (not because he sees them as flaws necessarily, but more because it's these things that usually get him into the most trouble with the people he actually really cares about...).

I don't know who's done this already, and as always no pressure and tyt! Gonna tag @honourandsteel, @pinkyjulien, @chevvy-yates (aber echt kein Stress! xD), @imaginarycyberpunk2023 (would be so curious about both Vinnie and Macha here!!), @breezypunk, @timaeusterrored (curious about Vax in particular, but anyone goes if you wanna do this :o), @genocidalfetus, aaaaand everyone else who I'm forgetting now! Consider yourself tagged <3

Quick reminder that love exists and it presents itself in your favourite barista surprising you with a snail in your coffee.

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YOU GUYSSS???? YOU GUYSSS??? I-

THANK YOUU SOO MUCHHHH I- I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY

I feel so silly whenever i make "does anyone else" posts due to the nature of how like. No experience is unique but anyway does anyone else ever get these weird overwhelming rushes of positive emotion???

They usually dont last too long but sometimes I feel so. Not even happy but just! A Lot! Obvs not literally but it feels like my heart just welled up in my lungs and blew up + the energy has gone to my limbs and wants to escape but also the happy pressure is still in my chest trying to crack my ribs open. (<- metaphor again)

Kind of like the same, inescapable, ball your hands up into fists + clench your teeth through sensation when you feel cuteness aggression...like a more advanced cuteness aggression but maybe not even toward anything specific or because of its Cuteness, just out of nowhere