#(i think he'll see her desire to do the right thing and also see why she's like that; she was raised to be nothing BUT brutal)
Note
✿
bold for things i could definitely see or want, italics for things i could see or am unsure of and striked out for things i don’t want or cannot see.
FRIENDSHIP. childhood friends / work buddies or coworkers / family friends / friends with benefits / smoking buddies / adventure buddies / fake friends / recently friends / party buddies / friendship of need / dying friendship / circumstantial friendship / partners in crime / old friendship /[your muse] is the good influence /[your muse] is the bad influence /[my muse] is the good influence /[my muse] is the bad influence / opposites attract / ride or die / frenemies / roommates or flatmates / penpals / exes to friends / enemies to friends / other
ROMANCE. childhood sweethearts /[your muse is mines] childhood crush /[my muse is yours] childhood crush / exes / exes to lovers / forbidden lovers / highschool sweethearts / secret relationship / opposites attract / long distance / unrequited [from your muses side]/ unrequited [from my muses side]/ unrequited [from both sides]/ skinny love / friends to lovers / enemies to lovers / spurious relationship / power couple / newly entered / soulmates [ metaphorical ]/ soulmates [ literal ]/ awkward / turning toxic (only in Godhood Path) / toxic love (only in Godhood Path) / cheating [on your muse]/ cheating [with your muse]/ other
FAMILIAL. siblings [half]/ siblings [step]/[my muse] is an older sibling figure to your younger sibling figure /[my muse] is a younger sibling figure to your older sibling figure muse /[my muse] is a parental figure to yours /[my muse] is a child figure to your muse / guardian figure / legal guardian / adoptive child / foster child /[your muse] is taken under mines wing /[my muse] is taken under yours wing / other
ANTAGONISTIC. dangerous to each other / dangerous to others / unpredictable / rivals / petty / developing into sexual or romantic tension / based off family matters / based of off circumstance / based of professional matters / based off misunderstanding or lies / conflict of ideology / betrayal / hero - villain dynamic / enemies / fight club / friends turned enemies / lovers turned enemies / exes turned enemies / other
#wizofwaterdeep#ANSWERED.#(hoo boy. Gale. Gale is a complex one regarding Valerya and the companions)#(because a good part of me is debating on her stance with choosing Godhood or staying as he is now and moving past Mystra)#(since she herself is trying to escape her illness with partial ceremorphosis and becomes lost in her wonder and desire to know all on it)#(it's almost morbid; and that morbid curiosity would definitely spur itself open with the Karsite Weave and whatnot)#(beyond that though; a lot of this is back & forth as you can tell but i do overall see them as very deeply intertwined people in some way)#(not just both of them being wizards but in a way; both of them are chronically and terminally ill)#(she's more than willing to always give him magical items in Act 1; likely knowing more than anyone save for Gale on how precious those are#(she likes how good-natured he is and how much he loves to just... talk. and share his mind)#(Valeryana was never able to do much of that even in the academy; so much distrust and ambition is woven into drow society)#(you can't trust anyone. yet gale is one of similar mind and accomplishment; separated from those burdensome paranoias)#(i can see her having long talks beneath the stars as friends or lovers; sipping on a glass of wine and philosophizing)#(of course; it isn't all sunshine; she's far more harsh than him overall and tries to balance it with her want to still end up positively)#(i think he'll see her desire to do the right thing and also see why she's like that; she was raised to be nothing BUT brutal)#(even when attempting to do the right thing; i imagine it'll bring up a lot of ideological fights between them)#(but the both of them learn from one another as a result)#(he teaches her it's okay to be openly kind and vulnerable. not everyone will try and use that kindness against you)#(she teaches him that it's never a sin to advocate for yourself. even and ESPECIALLY against those you admired and loved)#(which can twist and appear in a lot of ways for both of them)#(I'LL STOP HERE BUT. Gale And Valeryana Would Likely Be Quite A Time)#(thank you for the ask!! i'm curious to see yours for valeryana in turn :eyes:)
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hello! Are you ok?, I hope so ❤️ (by the way, your writing is wonderful)
I would like to make a request for Yandere Slashers with an S/O who is a mermaid, who usually kills people who dare to invade her lakes, and she kills these people by drowning.
(I'm sorry if there are any writing errors, English is not my first language, and I'm writing this using Google translate)
Slashers with Mermaid! Reader
Yandere! Slashers x Reader
Includes: Freddy, Michael, Jason, Thomas, Bubba, Brahms, Norman, Billy, Stu, Vincent, & Bo
A/N: I'm doing good, thank you <3 I hope you enjoy!
(Also, I decided I'm going to remove Lester from the Slasher requests. I'm still very much open to writing for him when specified, but I feel like he doesn't quite fit in with all the other Slashers).
Freddy Krueger
Meeting you was quite literally the best thing to ever happen in his undead life
He likes to team up with you, constantly coming up with different ways you both can contribute to someone's death
You pull them under, and they suddenly wake up in Freddy's world
Your dynamic is pretty ideal too
Whenever you sleep, you can visit him
And he has no issues with popping into your waters just to say hi
He does this quite often, in fact
He is very aware you can take care of yourself, but he still gets worried
You're his
He doesn't trust anyone being around you
Even if your only intention is to kill them immediately
He understands that where you are now is your home, but that won't stop him from doing whatever he can to have you live in his world
He can create the perfect environment for you
Miles and miles of nothing but water if your heart desires
Which hopefully it does
Since he isn't willing to wait much longer
Michael Myers
He never thought creatures like you actually existed
But the moment he saw your strength and darkness, he was immediately drawn in against his better judgment
He visits more often then you think
He's always around, watching
You can feel eyes on you almost 90% of the day, but you never really know where it's coming from
He enjoys watching you swim and just relax
But he especially loves seeing you drag poor souls into the tide with you
There's something so twisted and yet magical about watching you kill
But this fascination is also paired with extreme jealousy
He hates seeing you touch other people
And he almost envies the way they get to be so close to you, even if it means their demise
He hopes to find a way to take you home with him for good one of these times
You told him you loved him, so you'd be happy as long as you're by his side
Right?
Jason Voorhees
Out of all places to meet the love of your life, this one seemed especially unfortunate for Jason
But his feelings for you were strong enough to overrule his fear
He'll sit by the shore with you, hearing you talk and sing old tunes he's never heard before
He loves listening to your stories about the world underneath the current
But this always leaves him with such a deep feeling of sadness
He wants a life where you both can live together and share those memories
But he knows that's nearly impossible
He starts spending more time by the water side than the camp, finding that irresponsible teens like to be by the beach even more than the forest
You lure them in with your beauty and your words, and Jason finishes the job
He'll let you kill too if you really wish to, but he doesn't like the idea of those types of people being so close to you
He barely gets to touch you, so why should they get what he so desperately wants instead?
Thomas Hewitt
In this desert like area of Texas, Thomas has to travel quite far to see you
But the one time he accidentally stumbled upon you, he was smitten
And you surprisingly didn't turn him into another victim like all the others
He was kind to you
And now, he brings you food and stops by as often as he possibly can
You've made him little necklaces out of bones and shells
He wears every single one of them
Your bond only gets stronger each time he comes to see you
But Thomas can only take so much
Why can't you be closer?
He knows the family would love you
And he could make you so happy
His bathtub is big enough for you, he's sure of it
He knows that you won't want to leave your own home for his, but he loves you and knows what will be best for you
He's just got to be patient
Bubba Sawyer
His own family had to go on a search for him after he disappeared for a couple days
But he just couldn't help it
You make him so happy, and the more time he spent with you, the more difficult it became to leave your side
He's tried to jump in a few times to be with you, but you always persuade him out of it
He doesn't know how to swim, and you don't want him to end up like everyone else
That's when he decided that the best option would be to create your very own pond in his backyard!
That way, you could be with each other, and he would never have to say goodbye again
He hasn't told you this idea yet, but he's sure you'd be happy with it
This would also keep you from needing to kill anyone else
You're too beautiful to get your hands dirty
And it's unfair that they get to join you in the water when you won't let him do the same
He can make you super happy with his family, he's sure of it
Brahms Heelshire
He hates this dynamic between you two
He wants you at home with him so you can take care of him, and he can keep you away from everyone else
No one should get to touch you or look at you besides him
He's actually tried to drag you out of the water before, but the prospect of accidentally killing you was enough to make him stop
He never knew he could envy a body of water as much as he does
It gets to hold you, touch you, and be with you at all times
He wants that too, so desperately
Because of you, he's gone from house dweller to nature enthusiast in just a matter of days
Even when you think he's at home, he's stalking around, watching you
He insists it's to keep you safe
In fact, you haven't had to drown anyone in quite a while
And you can thank Brahms for that
The moment he sees a single soul in the area, he drags them off and disposes of them before you even have a chance to see them
He wouldn't dare let you touch another being that isn't him
Norman Bates
It honestly took him a really long time to believe that you were even real
He didn't think mermaids or sirens actually existed, so seeing you for the first time made him pinch himself to make sure this wasn't some weird dream
He also took a while to trust you since he didn't want to fall victim to your treacherous waters
But once he realized you were genuine, he dove straight in all at once
He visits you whenever he can for however long he can muster
Someone needs to run the motel, but God he wishes he could be with you 24/7
He's "jokingly" brought up the idea of you staying at the motel in a pool he could install for you
He just wants to keep an eye on you at all times
He constantly dreams of finding a way to make you human so you two can truly be together
Until you have two feet like him, it will never be enough
Billy Loomis
Doesn't tell a single soul about you
Not even Stu
And it's not because he's embarrassed or wants to see other people
He's honestly just scared that others will either think he's insane or try to capture you
Visits you every day and makes sure to pack his swim trunks so he can join you in the water
Constantly admires you and wants to run his hands along your scales
He just thinks you're all around incredible
But he has this hidden level of anger towards the situation
He wants to walk around town with you, show you off
He wants you to join him on his sprees so you can see just how powerful he can be
And he hates the idea of not having eyes on you at all times
He knows you kill anyone who isn't him, but he doesn't want you getting that close to anyone in general
He spends his nights studying ways to get you to live with him
He'll find a way to have you all to himself, even if it ends up being the death of him
Stu Macher
He actually first met you while you were seducing some poor soul to their death
And Stu was immediately enamored
He comes to see you whenever he can
He sometimes spends the weekend camping out along the shore just so he can spend more time with you
He thinks you're beautiful of course, but he can't help but fantasize what it would be like if you were human like him
You two come from very different worlds, but there's nothing that could keep you away from him
He likes to bring up the idea of mermaids and mythical creatures in casual conversations with people
How they react to it will determine whether they make his hit list
He likes to bring you jewelry and pretty objects from his victims, showing you items that you've never seen before
He talks about how one of these days, he's going to have a house built on the shore so he can be with you
And if you argue against it, he will shut down
The pent up frustration of not getting to sleep next to you every night makes his killings more brutal and his fantasies all the more darker
Vincent Sinclair
Every time he comes to see you, he brings a new portrait or wax figure of you that he made
You flood his dreams and his mind 24/7
He honestly thinks he's under some sort of spell
He doesn't mind that you aren't human like him
He's always felt very different from everyone else, so it's nice for him to have someone he relates to
But his jealousy constantly gets the better of him
Anytime you tell him of some poor soul you drowned, he can't help but feel his blood boil
Even if it ends in their death, he hates the idea of you flirting or seducing these people
The only one who should be receiving that attention is him
Barely sleeps at night
He has snuck to the shore countless time without your knowledge, just watching you and making sure your stories line up with what he observes
Is overall obsessed even more than you know
Bo Sinclair
If anyone saw you together, it would be enough to make them blush
The way you two can constantly flirt back and forth without any hesitation is otherworldly
You could have sworn he must have been a creature like you in a past life
He's so touchy when he's with you, not afraid to get his clothes wet in an effort to just be closer to you
He truly makes you feel accepted as you are and with where you live
But little do you know of his darker nature
He stalks the shore and kills off anyone that trespasses before you even have a chance to get to them
He doesn't need you looking at anyone but him
And he's already been renovating an old abandoned pool in Ambrose for you
You're going to finally be living with him like he's always wanted
You don't know this yet, but he's sure you'll be happy with the idea
It will be a great surprise
#slashers x reader#slasher preference#slashers headcanon#slashers preference#slashers#michael myers headcanons#michael myers x reader#michael myers#jason voorhees headcanons#jason voorhees x reader#jason voorhees#thomas hewitt#thomas hewitt x reader#brahms heelshire x reader#brahms heelshire#brahms heelshire headcanon#billy loomis x reader#billy loomis headcanon#billy loomis#stu macher x reader#stu macher#stu macher headcanons#vincent sinclair#bo sinclair x reader#bo sinclair#lester sinclair#freddy krueger#freddy krueger x reader#hannibal lecter#hannibal lecter x reader
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My thoughts on dating... Dazai!
Credits to @kisara-16 because she basically co-wrote this through our conversations about Dazai. Seriously, these headcanons wouldn't look like this without her amazing insight on Dazai!
sfw
-Instant love is not an option when it comes to Dazai. He can think you're pretty when he first lays his eyes on you, and he can be impressed and admire certain qualities, but he's not going to fall in love that easily. Falling in love requires vulnerability and indirectly the acceptance of a possible loss. No, a slow burn sounds more right.
-Building up trust is the key to getting Dazai vulnerable. You're going to have to prove that you won't leave him. It's not an easy task as Dazai will make you face many challenges, like calling you up in the middle of the night because he's "too drunk" to walk home from the bar yet you're chasing him around the entire city up till dawn.
-However, there are more things needed to win over Dazai's heart. Little things over a long span of time, to be more precise. Dazai is a stranger yet attracted to sincerity and kindness, so a combination of these two things would pull his heartstrings.
-Imagine Dazai sitting at his desk and suddenly you put a can of crab on it. He's confused, but then you explain how you rarely see him eat at the ADA. When Dazai asks you why you chose a can of crab, you answer that he once tried to convince Kunikida to buy it for him with the promise he'd finish that long overdue paperwork. Dazai would be so surprised if someone, you, paid attention to him and remembered a detail from an interaction that didn't even involve you. (Credits to Kisara for this scenario!)
-Dazai would be oblivious to his crush on you at first, may it be because he's scared or the foreignness of the emotion. When Dazai does realize he has feelings for you, he tries to distance himself. As Dazai said, everything he wants is lost the minute he obtains it. He can't afford to add another wound to an already scarred heart. It's crucial to be consistent and prove you're not willing to leave, and that you desire to live.
-You'll have to confess first. Although Dazai easily picks up on other people's emotions and knows how to manipulate them, he has trouble handling his own. Vulnerability is something Dazai fears and that includes opening up about his feelings to you. He would wait until you make the first move.
-If you're scared though, don't worry! Dazai picked up on your crush on him as well as your struggle to confess. He'll tease you until you're convinced he needs to have some interest in you. Imagine being in the ADA kitchen and Dazai pops up behind you. His front is pressed against your back while he's trying to grab something that so accidentally happens to be at your coffee maker. "Don't mind me," he whispers softly into your ear. He could grab it much faster but why wouldn't he take his sweet time? After all, it's so cute how your body reacts to his close presence. And who knows, maybe it makes you confess sooner.
-When you do confess, Dazai might act light-heartened about it. "Oh, Belladonna, I knew you'd fall for my charms eventually! What about a lovely double suicide for our first date?" But don't let it fool you. He's excited yet nervous that you asked him out. He just needs to hide it for the both of you.
-You might also need to kiss him first. Dazai will turn it into a challenge to see how long you can resist kissing him. Imagine Dazai catching you looking at his lips. You turn your head the second you notice Dazai caught onto you, but then his slender fingers grab your chin, turning your head back to him. His eyes lock with yours, the air is filled with want... and then he lets go, focusing on whatever you were doing. The longer you wait for him to kiss you, the more seriously Dazai takes the challenge.
-Dazai's kisses are usually playful and teasing. He knows what makes you stand on the tip of your toes for more. One of the cuter things is when he taps on your shoulder only to appear on the opposite side to kiss your cheek.
-The PDA will be very clownery. Not sure if I wrote something similar for another post, but: If Dazai wants to cuddle with you at the ADA, he's going to drag you to the couch whining like a child needy for attention. It's all to hide that he craves your touch. Physical touch is an intimate action for Dazai as he rarely lets someone that close into his personal space and when he touches someone, it's rarely to show affection. Such an intimate action is something Dazai prefers to hide from his co-workers and strangers, so the way he goes around it is by using his desire for your touch to strengthen his reputation as a lazy clown.
-Nevertheless, there are going to be intimate, hidden touches throughout the day. He'll lightly bump into you at the copy machine. He'll then place his hands on your shoulders as if to steady you and innocently smiles "Sorry, can't have you falling for me again, sugar cube!" Or when nobody is watching and he delicately caresses your lower back for a split second. And perhaps the times your shoulders brush slightly aren't as accidental as they appear to be.
-Physical touch is more intimate when you're in one of your dorms, though. It's where Dazai doesn't have to worry about appearing soft or vulnerable. He loves it when you play with his hair, although it'd be an unfamiliar sensation at first. He'd relax so much if you made him lay his head in your lap while you do your skin-care routine on him. When you fill him in on everything that's going on in your mind while touching his skin aka giving him personal attention... He could never get tired of it.
-Dazai's favorite love language to receive is physical touch. He's so touch-starved, especially with the layers of bandages decorating his skin. It's going to take a long time before Dazai feels at ease and safe enough to remove the bandages around you, though. It's not something he's going to be comfortable with doing at the start of your relationship. Honestly, a lot of things that require even a bit of vulnerability turn into slow burns with Dazai. Even holding hands is a huge milestone that feels intimate to him. You really need to have patience and while you sometimes have to push him outside of his comfort zone or take the initiative, you cannot be too pushy either.
-Once Dazai agrees to remove his bandages, be extra tender with him. Kiss him softly and gently remove the bandages around his neck. Instead of staring at his skin and making him feel self-conscious, start placing kisses on his neck and then slowly trail down to the exposed part of his neck, leaving hickeys at places you couldn't before. Don't immediately let Dazai remove all his bandages. Take it step by step. Leave days between them. You don't have to remove his shield in one go.
-Dazai doesn't often initiate dates as he's rather easy in that aspect. It's not to say that he never takes you out, though! What Dazai values most on dates is the proximity of you and the memories that are being made. When Dazai wants to go on a date, they're rather spontaneous and unpredictable. One minute you're working and before you know it, he makes you chase him to a park. A fun date idea could be escape rooms! Of course, Dazai is smart enough to escape within five minutes, but he enjoys the proximity of it. He'll have already figured out where the key is, but why would he say it? Not only does that make you leave the room sooner, but he finds your cute dedication to escape it endearing. Dazai would also really like cafe or bar dates, but he also wouldn't say no to a date filled with surprises (if you manage to be sneaky enough to surprise him, that is).
-Dazai takes care of you from the shadows. He's a tsundere. So when he does an act of service, it's hard to tell it's him. For example, let's say you're very tired. When Atsushi is ready to grab a cup of coffee from the cafe, Dazai randomly brings up how tired you've looked all day. Next thing you know, Atsushi brings you a cup of coffee.
-Dazai isn't the one to get jealous easily, but oh does he taste it when somebody else thinks they can wrap you around their fingers when you're already wrapped around his. Softly said, it's not appreciated. It's hard to tell when Dazai is jealous, but he does get extra clingy and starts making it obvious that you belong to him. They're looking at your hair? Oops, Dazai is brushing it behind your ear. They're looking at your cheek? Dazai kisses it. They're trying to make a conversation with you? Dazai is answering all the questions in the most annoying way. They try to stand closer to you? Dazai has an arm around your waist, pressing you against him.
-When you need a hug for comfort, Dazai will make a remark on how clingy you are. But when you want to pull away, he hugs you even tighter and doesn't let go until he feels your heart rate go back to its usual tempo.
-Dazai prefers to sleep next to you. It doesn't necessarily helps him fall asleep (although it does make him feel more relaxed) but Dazai enjoys to have you in his arms, listening to your steady heartbeat and breathing, feel your warmth, and loves to have you close even though you're sleeping. It makes the night a bit more bearable and less lonely.
-Dazai isn't very used to praise, and if he does, then it usually doesn't mean anything to him. He knows he's smart. He's aware people perceive him as handsome. Nothing new. However, he'd secretly get flustered when it's you who praises him. It's the way you praise him with such sincerity and admiration without expecting anything back that makes the blood want to rush to his cheeks. Dazai knows how to smoothly hide his face, although you can still catch a tiny hint of him being flustered if the praise comes so unexpectedly.
-He's not always going to believe your praise, sadly. Not because Dazai doesn't trust you, but because Dazai doesn't believe himself to be a good human. So, whenever you praise him for being kind or beautiful, he's hesitant to internally accept it.
-Dazai calls you cringy pet names in public + Belladonna, but in the safety of your dorms he calls you "love" and "dear." All credits to Kisara and I'm still fangirling over how accurate this feels: "Sweet angel princess Belladonna, would you possibly... reconsider my double suicide offer?"
-Self-care does not come natural to Dazai. He is a pro in neglecting himself, so it is important that you motivate him in taking care of himself. Dazai will whine about how he does not want to shower only for him to do a full 180 turn when you offer to shower together. He clings to his can of crab, claiming it is all he need, only to change his mind once you make a delicious homemade meal (emphasis on you because there is something about knowing you made it that makes the food more enticing).
-To be fair, there are downsides to dating Dazai that you have to deal with. His acts of service often isn't noticeable, he has trouble opening up and sharing what is happening inside his head, and he requires patience on many surfaces. There are times he is as ungraspable as the wind. However;
-If there's one thing Dazai considers most important then it's your life. He has lost too many and he's not ready to lose you, too. So, it's almost a given that Dazai feels protective of you. He wouldn't let anyone harm you and if someone does... Well, that automatically makes them Dazai's enemy and we know what saying goes around. If you actually once get seriously hurt on a mission, it's going to keep Dazai up for the next couple of nights. Sure, the Agency has Yosano and she fixed you up like a pro, but still. What would've happened if they got you to Yosano too late? Especially if you got hurt in Dazai's plan, he'd beat himself up. Either way, he's going to feel like he should have predicted it. He praises himself for his intelligence but couldn't even use it to keep his love safe? Pathetic. Dazai is going to find it endearing though if you decide to stay up with him even though you're basically falling asleep on his shoulder.
nsfw (mdni)
-As I mentioned before, holding hands is already going to be a huge achievement, so I don't think you will sleep together very soon in the relationship.
-This man is unmotivated to do anything until we're talking about how many orgasms he can get out of you. Dazai is both a fan of overstimulation and edging. He will edge you for what feels like hours on end to then go full out without hitting the brakes because "Wasn't that what you were begging me for, my Bella?"
-I am not saying Dazai has a praise kink but he is going to be flustered the first few times you praise him during (oral) sex. Imagine moaning his name in the middle of the act and Dazai, the tease that he is, asks "Yes, love?" "Mhm, you are doing so good, Osamu." Instantly, Dazai's pace stutters and slows down as he lets the words sink in. "Is that so?" he replies before muttering to himself "Better live up to the expectations then." Good luck walking the next day, you will need it.
-He probably has been praised before when pleasuring other women but it never did matter as much to him as your praise does.
-I don't think Dazai is that much into degradation. I can't see him wanting to degrade someone he deeply cares about; the closest you will get him to degradation is when he teases how desperate you are for him. However, if you are into it, he will degrade you more because he knows it serves the purpose of pleasuring you.
-Dazai is going to be soft and gentle the first time you will do it. He is self-aware enough to know the times he has been cruel, so he feels extra motivated to do this right. If it is your actual first time, Dazai is more scared of hurting you and feels more pressure to make this time as memorable and pleasurable as possible. He will prep you extra well, entering you slowly while observing every sign that tells him you are hurting, and he will take all the time in the world before he starts moving in and out. During all of that, he coos lovely words that comfort you and distract you from the pain.
-Dazai is a switch with a preference to dom. It will take a while before he takes the role of the sub. When he does, make sure to be gentle with him.
-At the start, Dazai prefers to give. He barely prioritizes himself, so he doesn't make a huge deal out of being on the receiving end. It is quite the opposite: Dazai is aware he does not show love easily and this is a skill he is confident in to show you how devoted he is to you. Yet, a new world opened to Dazai when he realized how good this feels with you. The difference between before and now is the emotions and attachment he feels towards you, which increases his pleasure during such intimate acts. Soon, Dazai will want to drown in the pleasure that you give him and crave more of it like a selfish man.
-Dazai is a pro with his mouth and fingers. Not only that, but he mastered the art of sensuality. He understands roughness, speed, and impatience are not everything. He knows how to make your body tremble with the unbearable slow trace of a single finger against your bare skin, the intimacy of an intense gaze, and the tone of his voice when he tells you all the things that will you crave more of him.
#dazai x reader#bsd x reader#bsd headcanons#bsd fluff#dazai osamu#dazai x you#dazai x y/n#bsd writing#bsd dazai#haven't posted something in so long i forgot which tags I use#incredibly grateful for my friend!!
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On the Emperor and *that* scene
so i went and looked at some of the branches of that conversation -he basically reacts by reflecting and amplifying whatever energy the player gives him. Whatever you say, he will not contradict you.
You reject him, violently? He'll show you how right you are, how much of a monster he is. You reject him, preferring to "stick to business"? so does he. You agree to see him as a potential partner? Not a one-night stand, you are "bonded and it is time to consummate love with war".
Something to keep in mind, however (pun intended) is that "to best protect yourself from illithid manipulation, pay attention to its actions, not words."
tldr: i think the emperor is a very neat character.
The first branch is the disgusted rejection - the one where the player calls him a freak. his reaction is to show you how right you are. a mind controlled Stelmane, how the partnership was puppeteering. "you are my puppet", he tells you. "You have no other choice, if I must, I will force you."
he does not force you to do anything, after that. the threat is there, of course, but it's hollow. empty.
should this be taken at face value? can we trust him, even now, that he is telling the truth? it is certain that he mind controlled stelmane, yes. But was he the one who made her ill?
two items put that into question. a) stelmane's portrait, hung up at his desk along all his treasured possessions from before and after he became an illithid (balduran's butter fork, to go with the butter knife. his old sword, a recipe for fiddlehead soup, his dog Rascal's collar. the emperor's outfit, container for brains, chains for his "meals".)
If he's a liar about everything, why does he have a framed picture of Stelmane? He would not have been able to physically go back and set things up in a Knights of the Shield secret hideout while he was stuck inside the Astral Prism in our pocket from the hells, down to the Underdark, unless i'm getting the timeline of this story majorly wrong.
and b) an account of stelmane's illness.
Stelmane's condition got worse *after* Balduran/the Emperor disappeared, captured by Gortash and the cult of the Absolute.
Make of that what you will. Is this an actual testimony, or something he somehow planted there for you to find, despite the logistical difficulties in doing so? You decide.
2. The violent rejection is the only branch where he does not tell you how big the elder brain has grown. I think that is because there is an actual reaction on his end; something vicious that he's unused to feeling. Not the cold, calculating pragmatism he was praising in the player character three lines ago. Compare the first branch to the following two paths:
What i think is: Balduran uses you. The sole thing he cares above all else is his continued survival, any power gained that way is a side benefit to his goal. If you even get the Orphic hammer, even "as leverage," even as you threaten him, he does not "force you" to do anything, as threatened above. Ansur died, yes, but is self defence murder? Neither Ansur nor Balduran deny that Ansur tried to mercy kill Balduran as he slept.
What I also think: you have to succeed at perception check, in the third guardian dream, to figure out that "the hurt runs deeper than they're willing to show you." then, an insight check (something that requires wisdom, what you use to resist, or lean into, the tadpole's hivemind) "beneath the resilient veneer, a touch of fragility. they need comfort." This allows you to hug them, if you desire - something they say "it has been a very long time since someone did that. for [me]".
Make of that what you will.
#baldur's gate 3#bg3 spoilers#the emperor#balduran#he is an awful little manipulative bastard and i think hes perfect
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How would your ocs react to a partner whos very vocal and loud in bed, like every moment they can't go without spouting some type of praise. . . ask, totally not based on a chat im having - 🐠🎩
mmmhehehhe... < З I LIKE THIS QUESTION DEAR FISH ANON. okaaaayyy lessgooo.... also feel free to send me more questions like this one, it was fun to write for everyone <3 deity, naga, monster under the bed, kikimora, fallen god, mothman x reader. derzena x fem!reader, the rest is gender-neutral. there could be mistakes and im npt s orrty
gavriil. — the louder you are the better, honestly. gavriil here is a provider, he cares about your pleasure more than his own, so there's nothing more rewarding than to hear your voice break so deliciously. sex with him is a praising galore... loves receiving it too! he's very talkative and mostly breathes heavily or hums in amusement/delight. if you don't want to make noise on principle, that's a whole different story. will take it as a challenge. will fuck the noises out of you. breaking your indifferent facade until you're nothing but a drooling, whining mess always makes him so smug and proud.
xiaolong. — prefers it if you're at least somewhat vocal because he want to hear how good he makes you feel, so you being so unashamed is perfect for him. loves cutting off your never-ending stream of sweet words and whimpers by kissing you. will remind you to keep it down sometimes though, because "you don't want the whole inn to hear your pretty moans now, do you? they're reserved for my ears only, isn't that right, dear? mmhm, that's it". can't get enough of how lovely your voice sounds when you call out his name. will probably tease you about that later...
taisya\tasechka. — when he's balls deep inside of you, he would absolutely not care. he won't even hear you probably, driven blindly by his instincts and desires. that's why when you want him to stop or give you a second for whatever reason, you need to show it with your body language. give him a pat, a punch (he won't mind), a squeeze. he pays much more attention to how your body moves and shudders underneath him, how your breathing patterns change. values your physical participation more than anything else. this guy is also pretty loud himself, though his noises are not very... pleasant on the ears and sometimes his voice morphs in funny ways, giving that uncanny edge to his low whines and growls.
derzena. — she will be... a bit surprised. she didn't have many lovers, and most of them were pretty quiet and/or shy in her presence (no wonder, bc she has a very... intimidating stare). at first she will think she did something wrong, or, heavens forbid, hurt you. derzena is a very careful woman, mainly because she's very aware of her sizes and strength. but once you reassure her and tell her that you're just very vocal in bed, she'll except it and will move on. she'll learn to love it very quickly, silently relishing in your gasps and loud pleas. she might lose herself for a good while between your legs, eating you out for hours and pushing her thick, smooth tongue deeper into your pussy to see if she can make you even louder.
veniamin. — oh he is so mean. likes it when you're loud just because he gets to shut you up. a hand clasped tightly over your mouth or pushing your face into the pillow, he doesn't care as long as you're keeping up the volume and writhing under him. when he's feeling gracious enough he'll let you ride him and babble all you want. until then, he'll keep calling you a desperate little thing, mocking the noises you make <З despite that, he also loves it when you talk back or insult him in return. it's the "missionary, so we can keep arguing" for him. smug fucker wants nothing more than to rile you up and then make you whine in disappointment by ruining your orgasm... for the fourth time in a row.
livy. — he hasn't had much experience with humans before, so he thinks it's perfectly normal for you to express yourself the way that you do. livy thinks it's very pretty actually, and won't stop you, because no one will hear you in the middle of the forest, where his cave resides. except for him, of course <з lets out happy chirps and clicks in return, or hisses sweetly when your little hole squeezes him so tightly. will ask how you feel very frequently, seeking your approval. might get too excited and get a bit rough, fucking you into the ground, trying to stuff you full of his cock despite you being so much smaller in comparison to him.
#microtya's kids#microtya: gavriil#microtya: xiaolong#microtya: taisya#microtya: derzena#microtya: veniamin#microtya: livy#god x human#kikimora x human#monster under the bed x human#mothman x human#naga x human#monster x reader#monster x human#monster smut#monsterfucker#monster fucker#monster boyfriend#monster girlfriend#monster lover#teratophillia#terato
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How conscious do you think Katara of Sokka's pile of neurosis surrounding her safety, their father, or the tribe in general?
Basically, how well do you think Katara understands her brother?
[thinks about my own incredibly weird, callous, prodigious, neurotic brother] does anyone truly understand their brother?
just kidding. sort of. i mean, this is a really difficult question to answer, because as i've already stated, sokka doesn't actually understand himself. and katara doesn't really understand other people very well in general. she has a deep, presiding love for humanity that accords her warmth and nobility, but she also has a pretty rigid way of conceptualizing any sort of moral quandary (she is in the eighth grade) and often misinterprets people's motivations and subconscious desires. (very dorothea brooke core)
for example, in "the painted lady," when katara says, "oh, sokka, you really do have a heart!" she's only partially joking, right? like she genuinely doesn't understand how he can be so "cold" and callous." she doesn't understand his point of view at all, she thinks he just doesn't care. and sokka could probably do a better job of explaining his point of view, granted, but i also understand why he's given up trying to reason with her, because she does not listen to him unless they are in grave danger (at which point she forgets that he is her stupid annoying brother and places all her faith in him lol).
so we, as an attentive audience, know that sokka cares about the wellbeing of impoverished villages destroyed by the fire nation, because we remember the first couple episodes wherein he was prepared to die defending his impoverished village that was destroyed by the fire nation, and we also remember his promise to prioritize katara's safety over the war at large, so we are not surprised when he says, "you need me and i'll never turn my back on you" (the sokka thesis statement). but katara doesn't really understand how much she means to sokka, or how sokka thinks, or how sokka sees himself, or how sokka sees their father, or anything beyond what sokka is willing to show her regarding his psyche, which is ultimately very little.
and it's not katara's fault, to be clear. katara is not a bad sister for not attempting to plumb the depths of sokka's twisted mind. even if she wanted to (which, who would tbh. don't look at me) sokka does not let her. being vulnerable with her (truly vulnerable, not just "i can't make things fly around woe is me") would go against sokka's core programming. protecting katara doesn't just mean protecting her physically (dying for her, attacking anyone who hurts her even if it's aang and he really didn't mean to, etc.) but also emotionally – protecting her innocence, her naïveté, her idealism.
like he'll say shit like "optimism and wonder are cringe and you're a loser for having love in your heart," but it's still so flippant, it's clear that he doesn't consider "provoking/annoying her" and "protecting her" to be mutually exclusive (frankly, anyone who doesn't succumb to the urge to provoke their siblings is simply not human and cannot be trusted) and has no problem criticizing her when he thinks that she's wrong for whatever reason, but he also avoids being vulnerable with her and uses flippancy and deflection to mask his more honest feelings most of the time.
notice how he basically completely shuts down in "the southern raiders," how even though he is standing there the entire time katara and aang are arguing, he says exactly one sentence and lets aang say literally everything else. notice how in the pilot he calls her a freak for waterbending instead of communicating either jealousy that she can do something he can't or fear that her ability will get her killed (again, it's probably a combination of both, but does he even understand that? probably not. because he refuses to introspect). which is why "you need me and i'll never turn my back on you" or even his admission in "sokka's master" that he feels insecure about being a nonbender shocks her so much.
katara and sokka's codependency is mutual, and they love each other a lot. while sokka isn't katara's first priority and entire identity the way katara is for sokka, when sokka is spirited away in "the winter solstice," katara basically shuts down, clings to his boomerang with a blanket around her shoulders and refuses to move from the spot he was taken until he gets back, and when sokka is gone for the day in "sokka's master," she spends the whole day waiting for him to return. and like, both of these take place in the span of no longer than a single day. but as much as they love and need each other, they also do not really understand each other, or themselves.
i would say that sokka understands katara better than katara understands sokka, but sokka also just understands people better than katara does, so that's not really surprising. for example, he knows that she would not benefit from killing yon rha before katara realizes it (and unlike aang, he is not a pacifist). but he does have some blindspots, like how he doesn't understand why she wouldn't want to see hakoda in ba sing se (he interprets it as a purely selfless act, which it just isn't), but again, that's more of a daddy issues blindspot than a sister issues blindspot. they also just have very different worldviews. katara primarily cares about individuals whereas sokka primarily sees systems (with the necessary caveat that he still prioritizes his family), katara sees the best in people whereas sokka sees the worst in people, katara misses the forest for the trees whereas sokka misses the trees for the forest yada yada.
but what's important to understand fundamentally is that katara and sokka have both been dehumanized by the fn imperialist project (true of every atla character, btw) and so their lack of self-knowledge stems from the formative trauma of cultural genocide. those gaps in understanding originate from the roles they have been forced to inhabit, and since sokka's entire identity revolves around what he can and must sacrifice for katara, it's understandable that katara would be unable to acknowledge or even recognize that.
and then again, even beyond the inherent tragedy of their situation, no fourteen year old little sister really understands the neuroses and contradictions and lamentations of her older brother. even if he wore his heart on his sleeve she wouldn't understand him, because katara does encounter plenty of people who are far more obvious about their intentions and she doesn't really understand them either. but she means well. and that's what matters <3
#the-wright#asks#katara&sokka#katara#sokka#analysis#i think the person who understands sokka the best is toph actually#at least by the end of the show#god i love katara so much#calling her dorothea brooke core made me rly emotional? lol#like she doesnt really understand but it doesnt matter because she loves she so deeply and cares so much!!!!#her enduring faith and love and sense of justice for her fellow man........ oh boy :'')#also i have a post in my drafts that i never published bc i still havent really figured out how to phrase it#about how when katara is mean to sokka she thinks she is 'punching up' in the same way zuko treats azula#i have a lot of drafts...#anyway. theyre insane or whatever
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Human AU! More asexual Dream agenda.
Morpheus used to question his sexuality in his late teens and contemplated that he might be somewhere on the asexual spectrum. It seemed fine to him back then, that is, until he realized how much he didn't fit in when all the relationships his peers had seemed to revolve around sex. So, Morpheus started dating, went out with a few guys, but it died out naturally after a few dates because he refused to have sex.
Eventually, he meets Calliope at the uni, and he's really in love and determined to do anything to make this work. They finally have sex, and...it's nothing spectacular. Morpheus just doesn't get why people seem to prioritize it so much (like, how can his friend Cori dedicate so much time to fucking his way through London when there're so many more interesting things to do? reading, for instance!). Anyway, as time goes by, Morpheus tries to really grasp this whole sexual aspect of relationship but it just evades him. He watches porn (it does nothing for him, but he switches on a video every now and then for educational purposes - maybe he'll see something that Calliope might like), tries his fair share of sex toys (some of them are nice, alright, but...cuddling in the blanket is nicer, still?), and comes to a spectacular conclusion that something is very wrong with him. After all, it's him who doesn't meet normal expectations. To make things worse, he starts to notice that Calliope avoids having sex with him (she's tired after work, has a headache, isn't in the mood, etc., and this goes on and on for weeks that turn into months), becomes more distant, and they slowly drift apart.
It's a matter of time till they break up. Morpheus takes this as his personal failure, concentrates on his work, even goes to therapy, though he sabotages it before he can actually spell out that he thinks he's asexual, and...he doesn't date. Like, at all. Why set himself for another failure and disappointment? Enter Hob Gadling. They meet accidentally (or not so accidentally, if you ask Hob's elder sister), and Hob is smitten from the word go. He pursues Morpheus insistently yet never creepy; he is, in fact, very understanding and accommodating, and even though Morpheus bristled like a sad wet cat at first (and at second, too), he can't deny anymore that he's in love. He's scared shitless to fuck this up over sex again, but somehow, Hob manages to do the unthinkable: he puts Morpheus at ease. He figures out Morpheus is ace early on, and he's fine with wanking by himself till the end of time if his partner never ever wants to tumble in bed. There're other intimacies to be shared, they also matter! Morpheus doesn't believe him at first, but with time (and lots of cuddles), he cautiously accepts that this may be true. With sex no longer an obligation in his Google calendar, Morpheus even feels attraction...sometimes. It's a rare occasion, but Morpheus is shocked when he experiences it for the first time: he's never truly felt a desire before, and letting go feels scary. Hob is there for him and feels delighted to gently guide him in this exploration. And when Morpheus doesn't want anything sexual, which is most of the time? Hob's still happy with his magnificent husband, their Netflix evenings, disastrous baking, long romantic walks, endless literature discussions, and his right hand.
Gosh, i love this!!! Love the idea that Dream being able to change his perception of sex because it no longer feels like a chore or something that he's been forced into doing (by societal expectations). Mostly he's still not interested but occasionally if he does get a stirring of attraction or desire, he can plop himself down in Hob’s lap and be his pillow princess for an hour or two.
Calliope is probably the happiest person when she sees how content Dream is these days. She and Dream can be good friends (now Dream isn't psyching himself up to have sex with her, and she isn't just constantly getting the vibe that her husband doesn't want her). It's much nicer to have coffee and gossip.
And Dream gets to go home to his husband. Maybe they'll take a shower together, or dance around the kitchen and have a midnight feast. And they'll go to sleep after making out until their lips are sore. Dream will feel no expectations, except the expectation of Hob’s love. That is absolutely guaranteed.
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[BAD DECISION #10] Blonde
warnings: b is in her bleach era. love that for her!! jaykay is in the chapter for like 1.5 seconds and still manages to be the best thing about it. also if u think wow holly sometimes your chapters end very similarly, uhhh yes. ur right. mainly because my brain is smooth but also because jungkook is a creature of habit! it’s within his character traits! not because im stupid! even if i am!
soundtrack: space - audrey nuna; blonde - maisie peters
wc: 3.5k
bd total wc: 540k (on-going)
minors dni | AO3 | series masterlist
You suppose you really shouldn't be surprised when Seokjin leaves you on read. It happens as soon as he escapes the city, just like it always does.
It's always the same; he'll come back to town for a few days - to visit friends, his family, or maybe for a haircut with the only barber he trusts - then leaves just as quickly as he comes.
The predictability of it all would be funny, you think, but your knees are getting worn out from how many times you fall for it; his charm, his deception, his pretty lips that soothe the burn of his selfish choices.
He'll be radio silent for a while, and then suddenly, as if he's finally changed the batteries in his walkie-talkie, he won't be. It'll most likely be when he's on his way back to town in a few months time.
The saddest part is that you know you'll want to see him when he does. Will have the burning desire to show him just how well you've been; how well you've coped without him.
Most of all? You'll want him to know just how much you don't need him.
Inevitably, he'll end up in your bed, and you'll end up all in your head - again - overthinking and underestimating just how easy it is for him to drop you. Forgetting just how badly he fucked you up, only for him to remind you in the most callous of ways.
When Danbi comes home on Thursday night - three days since Seokjin's last message - she knows exactly what's happened. You've got a special kind of pout reserved for Seokjin-related upsets. It's always a little soft yet incredibly hard to break.
"You gotta stop letting him in," she says over a glass of red. She hates the taste, but loves the soft buzz in the pit of her stomach. Though she's much better suited to Moscato, Danbi will never turn her nose up at free wine.
If she knew why you were drinking it, she might consider rejecting it.
Seokjin's favourite. You'd bought it on the way home from work. Just couldn't help yourself.
Had figured that at least when you hugged yourself to sleep that evening, your lips would taste like his used to do, on the nights when he'd tell you that you're the most delightful thing he's ever laid his eyes upon. Would be all giggly. Wine drunk. Happy. In love.
But it's been a while since he did that. Feels like a lifetime ago, now.
You shrug as you let the ruby red liquid swirl in your glass. Fighting against your feelings feels like swimming against the tide.
Always struggling to breathe. Never winning. Failing. Falling.
"I don't know how to, Dan."
"But you do," she insists.
And she's right. Of course you do.
His number has never been blocked, but a simple restriction of access to you would solve so many of your problems.
Thing is, you kind of like him still being your problem. At least that way, on a technicality, he's still yours. Kind of.
Every time he comes back to the city, it's still your bed that he ends up in.
Never for the night. Just for an hour or two - but for long enough for you to convince yourself that he can't stay away.
The lies you let your mind whisper are insidious. You're irresistible. He's still just as affected by you as you are by him. He can't possibly leave you.
And yet he does, each and every time.
He doesn't ever let you go. Not fully. Whenever you think you're getting over it, he shows up just to get you under him; his thumb, his spell, his body.
You're halfway through the bottle of wine when Danbi tells you once more that you need to get Seokjin out of your hair.
You've reached the end of it by the time you're grabbing your purse and heading for the closest Olive Young.
It's just down the street, by the crossroads that lead into town, and the staff there have seen you in worse states. A little tipsy has nothing on the mascara-stained eyes they used to be greeted with during the worst days of the breakup.
"Sure about this?" Danbi asks just to check before you take the boxes in your hands to the counter.
"Absolutely not - but he always hated me blonde," you grin a little sardonically. The happiness that comes with this change will be temporary, but you have to remind yourself that so was he. "At least even if I can't resist him, he'll resist me."
Peroxide and perhaps a little fried, your blonde hair had caught his attention in the early days - but you had dyed your hair dark in a bid to keep it.
He'd said some bullshit in a conversation amongst friends about his preferences, and how he favoured the 'natural look'. You weren't together at the time, not officially - but everyone there was a friend of his. They all knew you'd be going home with him. It only took two boxes of dye to get him asking to be exclusive. A week later he was introducing you to his friends as his girlfriend.
Funny what a little bit of conformity can do for a man who loves playing by the rules.
You assume his desire to tick the boxes and do what is expected of him is also why he was such a bellend when it came to the glitter you liked to dust yourself in.
Nobody's perfect though, so he was willing to overlook it. Was just one of the flaws he perceived in you. When you love someone, you accept them.
He ultimately never grew to love it, but for a while, you thought he might.
Bleach boxes in one hand, another bottle of wine in the other, you waste no time and head straight for the bathroom. Danbi follows you right in. She's always there to lend a hand or at least provide a Spotify playlist to get you through your woes.
Folding the powder into the developing lotion by the sink, you know your bleach-induced bathroom antics could get you a spot in a Brad Mondo video.
All a little haphazard, you're without a mixing bowl and brush, so are having to use an old takeout container and a plastic spoon, instead.
It's not quite how the instructions suggest you should mix it all up, but no good ever comes from following the rules.
You'd tried for Seokjin, and look where that got you.
Unlike him, trusty Tupperware has never done you dirty before. No reason why it should now.
Danbi sits on the closed toilet seat, legs crossed, a small bottle of bubbles in her hand. The bubbles had been a Christmas party favour from the office job she'd quit four months ago. Rediscovered when she'd been cleaning her room earlier that day, Danbi had taken to blowing pretty little bubble flurries your way all afternoon.
Your reflection is captured in the peacock sheen of the bubbles while you study your rapidly developing hair in the mirror.
You haven't bothered to change out of your shirt. It's not yours. One of Seokjin's. It's navy, and you hope the bleach ruins it.
"I think I've fucked up," you say all rather calmy, talking about your hair and not the shirt. It's not the end of the world if you have. Just hair, you always think.
Danbi shrugs. Has clearly spent too much time in your company, because she echoes exactly what you're thinking: "Just hair, babe. It'll grow."
That's the joy of your friendship; you both encourage each other with the same dumb remarks whenever you feel like you've reached the point of no return.
After all, if you can't go back?
Go forward.
"Plus," she adds, blowing more bubbles instead of taking a breath. "You can just chalk it up to being your hot mess era."
"Been in that for months already," you smile at her in the reflection of the mirror. You prod a little at your roots, and know that you definitely should have waited a little longer to work the bleach up to them. Bollocks.
You've done this enough times to know you'll end up with a gold band haloing around the top of your hair thanks to how easily your roots always lift. Nightmare.
"Exactly, so you may as well look the part," Danbi encourages. Worst influence going, she is. Also the best at times, too. You find comfort in the fact she won't always say what you want to hear, but what you need to hear instead.
The conversation dissolves into empty chatter, gossip about Danbi's dog walking clients, mentions of Taehyung and how he's still trying to talk her into a mates-rates discount despite the fact they aren't actually 'mates'. She asked you about your Bartender That Smiles, and you say he's all good - before you have to insist there's nothing going on there.
"He's got issues with his ex," you explain.
She rolls her eyes. "Don't they all? Boys and their first loves, I swear to God."
"Not sure she was his first," you defend, though you're not sure why. The thought lingers as you rummage around for an old tube of toner that you know you have hiding in the bathroom cabinet somewhere. It's been a while since your hair was pale enough to take toner, so it's been pushed right to the back.
Danbi is shooed from her perch on the toilet seat and into the living room as you let the shower run to heat it a little.
The first crash of water against your skin is lukewarm. Tepid. Unappealing, but necessary.
You hate anything other than boiling-you-alive degrees Celsius, but know you need to be kind to your hair after the torture you've put it through. The water runs cloudy until the bleach is rinsed out, and then it runs purple thanks to your silver shampoo. It pools around your feet and seeps into the drain. Wishful thinking has you hoping memories of Seokjin will do just the same.
It's just to preemptively tone it, but you can't help but worry about the pigment taking too strongly on your roots.
The ash toner you found in the cupboard is in a box by the sink. You plan on putting that over the top of whatever mess your hair is anyway, but it doesn't hurt to get a head start on the process.
The water glistens a deep violet, briefly coating your skin - and for some reason, all you can think about is Jeongguk, and how you'd really like to be downing a Purple Starfucker (or five) with him right now. He really is the perfect distraction.
Still, you have a task at hand. You rinse your hair; ring it out. Sigh as you frown at the mess that greets you in the mirror - lilac roots, a yellow band haloing just like your thought it would, and silver ends. Brilliant.
It's as you're sitting with Danbi in the living room a little while later - body wrapped in a towel that isn't half as fluffy as Jeongguk's favourite, ashy toner smothering your peroxide blonde hair - that you notice your phone flash on the coffee table.
Danbi clocks it first, and stifles a laugh as she reads the screen. "Isn't that the guy from the club?"
You assume she means Jeongguk, and are a little perplexed to see it's Jimin's name on your screen instead.
"Yeah... Jimin. Smooth talker, shit shagger."
"A glowing review."
"Hey, I still let him think he was good," you say as you reach for your phone to read his message out loud to Danbi. "You guys out tomorrow night?"
Sipping on her wine, Danbi raises a brow. Shakes her head in confusion. "He hoping for round two?"
"Fuck knows."
It's just gone midnight, so you consider maybe he's thinking about his desire for a hook-up, and is hoping for a safe bet in the form of you.
And so you don't reply. If he double texts, you'll just lie and say you've fallen asleep.
The scent of your toner is beginning to give you a headache, so you go to rinse it and bid farewell to your final day as a brunette.
Sleep evades you. Doesn't want to let go of who you were, apparently. Wine makes you sleepy, and yet you're wired as if you've just had a triple shot americano.
But then it's three in the morning, and all you can seem to smell is the deep conditioner you bathed your hair in that evening.
Somehow, when you look to the empty space beside you - delicately ruffled, a dent prevailing in the pillow - you convince yourself that you can smell fig leaves and coconut. The notes of his favourite aftershave linger like the ache in your chest. It's hollow, and you can't work out why it hurts quite as much as it does.
If there's nothing there, how can it be so painful?
You sniff back tears that fail to truly form and pull your phone from beneath your pillow. It's hard to move your fingers when they're tangled up in puppet strings that Seokjin is refusing to let go of, but eventually you manage to tap through some Instagram stories in a bid to distract yourself from him.
Inspirational quotes don't do much for you, nor do the engagement pictures of people you haven't given a second thought since graduation. There's an abundance of them. Smiling faces. Diamonds, or maybe just cubic zirconia. Fresh sets of nails, hands that are pink and warm from the heat of whoever's been holding them.
It's a curious thought; what people who haven't spoken to you in years must think of you now.
You were the one who was going to succeed. Going far in life, made for a boardroom, would look incredible in a pantsuit - and yet you're working in a cafe, first-class degree of no more worth than the tissue paper you flush down the toilet.
See, you switched out life goals for glitter. You wear it like armour; protect yourself from the world around you. Who cares about seriousness and success when you're a constant disco? Not you. Could never be you.
Or at least, you hope that's what people think. Hope that no one realises you're covering yourself in artificial shine; like a canvas in acrylic because you were too impatient to watch the oil paint dry.
One day you'll glow. Glow for real.
For a while, you thought you had been with Seokjin.
All you see when you look in the mirror these days is tarnished silver; copper alloy pretending to be much more than what it really is. Your skin will turn green eventually.
There is, however, one person you've managed to fool.
When his story pops up - a repost of tomorrow night's paint party event at Dionysus - you find yourself clicking through to your DM thread without much thought. You know he's at work. Know it's a 50/50 whether or not he'll get back to you before your mind begins to berate you again for how miserable you feel.
It's a simple message - hey - and you're pleased that it's met with an equally simple reply not even a minute later.
JustJK: To what do I owe the pleasure?
You decided that 'I'm about to cry over my shitbag ex so chose to message you instead' probably won't be Jeongguk's favourite thing to hear, so you opt for a little white lie.
You: Just wondering how the kids are <3
Part of you worries he won't understand what the fuck you're on about - but of course, he does. He's Jeongguk. Gets you better than you get yourself, these days.
JustJK: Missing their mother.
JustJK: Perry the Pigeon almost fell earlier.
JustJK: Roger the Robin looks like he has a broken wing.
JustJK: Must be one of yours. Inherited his mother's wonkiness <3
With each message that comes through, your smile grows wider in the midnight darkness of your bedroom.
You: Careful or I'll file for joint custody.
You: Get poor Roger away from his father's cruel remarks </3
There's an ease to how you joke together, both aware of how unserious you are. There's no second-guessing, no worrying about saying the wrong thing. If you do, you'll say sorry and move on. No harm, no foul.
JustJK: Your appeal won't hold up in court, Byeol.
JustJK: You've neglected them ever since you spawned them.
JustJK: Haven't even paid them a visit!!!
Laughter stifles in your throat as your body curls up into a more comfortable position. The audacity of this boy, you think, ignoring the way he manages to get you entirely focused on something that isn't your own despair.
You: You've got full custody!!!
JustJK: And you're still allowed to come for supervised visits!!!!!
JustJK: smh and to think you call yourself their mother.
JustJK: I'm their mother now.
You pout at your screen, and whine a small little 'nooo'.
You: They need me :(
JustJK: Come and see them, then. They miss their mother.
You: Tomorrow?
He reads the messages instantly, but takes a little longer than usual to reply. It worries you slightly. Makes you more aware of your surroundings. The scent of Seokjin's aftershave begins to permeate the air once more.
Until, all rather suddenly, it doesn't anymore.
JustJK: I'm not working tomorrow night, but Jimin's insisting on going to the paint party - you coming?
You: Will Perry the Pigeon be there?
JustJK: If he falls before I leave for the club, then yes.
It's not a bad proposition. One that quite intrigues you. One that has you agreeing, and him telling you to fuck off and go to sleep. He's got work to do, he says.
It's actually quite quiet at the club - Yeonjun just caught him looking at his phone with a dumb smile a few too many times for Jeongguk's liking. Doesn't wanna get caught out again.
Especially doesn't want him catching onto the fact that there's a reason Jeongguk's eyes light up like Disco Balls when he looks at his phone.
Yeonjun doesn't really have friends who are girls, Jeongguk reasons with himself. Won't understand that he's perfectly capable of having a little flirt without it meaning anything more than that - after all, isn't that just what banter is? Friendly flirting? He does it with the boys all the time. Doesn't mean fuck all. Just fun.
Jeongguk's a couple of years older than his cerulean-haired coworker, and has learnt the hard way that you really shouldn't escalate friends above the level of purely platonic. One day Yeonjun will realise this.
For now, though, Yeonjun'll shag anyone who looks at him in the right direction. Has probably already ruined a few good friendships. Doesn't even realise he's done it.
Jeongguk trusts himself not to make the same mistakes he's made in the past with you. Thinks that he's pretty happy with how things are. Has missed the dynamics of friendships with girls. Is looking forward to Monday movie night with you and Danbi again.
And yet when he gets home to find Perry the paper pigeon on his bed, he can't help but smile.
You wake up to a picture of the fallen bird in your DMs - and even though you'll whine and complain about it when you see him that evening, all you can do is smile, too.
JustJK: Looks like we're having a wholesome family trip to Dionysus tonight.
You: Mummy and Daddy reunited at last <33 Perry will be so happy.
JustJK: It's okay, you don't have to lie.
JustJK: I know you're talking about yourself, not Perry.
Jeongguk doesn't send the message where he tells you not to call him Daddy. Knows you'll read into it; tease him about it. It's not like he's got a thing for it, or anything, he just... maybe wouldn't be opposed to it, and so he'd rather not be called it when he's having casual conversations with you. Wouldn't wanna get flustered.
Part of you already knows this. Is precisely why you'd said it. It's not really your style, not the kind of thing that gets you going.
But it is also exactly why you choose to end your next message with, 'See you tonight, Daddy x'.
You're laughing as you send it.
And as he receives it, Jeongguk groans. Buries his head into his pillow. Crumples Perry a little in the process. Whines.
"Don't fuck this up, Jeongguk."
AO3 | MASTERLIST | NEXT
#by holly#jk#jeongguk fanfic#jungkook fanfic#Jungkook Fanfiction#jungkook smut#jungkook angst#jungkook fluff#jungkook x reader#jungkook ff#jeongguk fic#bartender!jungkook#BD#bad decisions#bangtan#bts fanfic#dappleddaisies
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how do you think the strawhat's would react to reader coming out as trans? (Specifically ftm) I think sanji would have the most interesting reaction honestly
You're writing is awesome btw
(Yandere Strawhats with Ftm reader).
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In my fics, I try to keep everything gender neutral, but I really like the idea of this. Most of there reactions are kinda the same, so this is short. Keep in mind that I am not trans, so if I get anything incorrect please tell me.
Also, I've finished Water 7, so this will be the first headcanons including Franky, yay!
Masterlist
---
Since you mentioned him, I'll talk about Sanji first. Like I said, I write my fics with a gender neutral reader in mind, so I've avoided writing Sanji as a complete simp. Rather, I try to write him as a caregiver who just wants to see you happy and taken care of.
That's how I think Sanji would act. He'd be honestly kinda overwhelming, constantly making sure no one disrespects you. Sanji isn't the complete image of masculinity, he cooks and cleans, but he also provides and protects and I'd like to think he'd remind you that there isn't a right or wrong way to be you. He doesn't care how you identify because that doesn't really change his opinion on you.
Because of this, he fully supports you being trans because he cares about you. As long as you're safe and happy, none of that really matters to him.
---
Luffy is a very carefree person and does not care at all if you're trans. His behavior can come off as him not comprehending what you're telling him, but that's not the case.
A lot like Sanji, Luffy does not care about your gender, he cares about you being safe. I like to think that Luffy doesn't really take things like that into account, you know? Like he respects you and is proud you feel comfortable telling him that but also nothing really changes with him. He's still insanely protective, possessive, and demanding of your time. He doesn't see a point in changing how he, you're still the same you.
---
Zoro is a little different. Zoro is much more aware of his masculine energy, how people perceives him as a man and how that affects the way he's treated by other people. A lot of people think Zoro is stupid, but I think he'd be aware that people are more likely to respect him because he's a "manly man."
However, he wouldn't have a problem with you coming out. Zoro from a young age was forced to face the reality of gender roles, and how gender roles affect people and how they perceive themselves. As a child, he was very one note, believing woman were weak and defenseless. But very quickly that changed, and it's why he's so cool with you coming out now.
He never once thought less of you when you were a woman, and like Luffy, didn't really care. When you come out to him, his opinion of you doesn't change. I actually think he'd become a little bit more protective, because like I said, Zoro understands the complexity of gender and knows there are people out there who won't respect you. Whenever there are bad days, he reminds you that he'll always be there for you, that the'll all always be there for you.
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Nami is very supportive. She honestly doesn't really know how to react, but quickly realizes the venerability of the situation and attempts not to overwhelm you too much.
She really just wants to be there for you. She wants you to know that she can help you with anything, getting new clothes, offering to cut your hair, anything that would make you more comfortable.
Like the others, she's super protective. Less of the "I'll cut your tongue out if you misgender them." but more of the "I'll literally curse you and your entire family out in front of your children if you look at them wrong." She knows she isn't the strongest, but that doesn't change how much she desires to keep you safe.
---
Robin, the same as Nami, is very supportive and very protective. I think since Robin is literally a genius (she's such a queen, I'm jealous) her and Chopper are the one's who understand things like gender dyshoria the most. She understands that she'll never completely understand what you're feeling, but is sympathetic and offers herself as a person to talk to if you're feeling alone.
Like I've mentioned, she's just as protective of the others, but doesn't show it in front of you. She understands that you're in a venerable state, and that you're most likely overwhelmed with how everyone's been acting. So, she keeps civil in front of you, for your sake.
---
Chopper is a doctor, and so he takes a more medical approach to everything. He'd never imply that you need things like gender dysphoria to be trans, but will also be a reliable person to go to if you do feel that way.
He's the one who makes sure you're always safe, especially if you're in the process of transitioning. For example, if you chest bind, then he makes sure you're doing so safely. He also remind you that medical procedures aren't always needed, and he doesn't want to push something onto you that you don't feel comfortable with, especially if you're already confident in yourself and your gender.
But other than his professional side, he's also a really good friend, and is happy to help you feel more happy in your own skin. He's always the first one to ask if you're doing okay, especially in public situations where people aren't always as nice.
---
I feel like out of all of them, Usopp is more lighthearted. He doesn't pretend like he understands everything, and definitely doesn't want to speak over you and your own experiences. So, he tries to lighten the mood by making tasteful jokes, never at your own expense. It's a good reminder that nothing has changed between all you, that they're all still your friends.
However, somethings Usopp feels stupid, upset that you don't come to him whenever you're feeling down. He tries to go to Robin or Chopper and asks them to teach him about everything, until he has a very rare big brain moment and realizes he can just ask you.
He likes when you teach him about aspects of yourself, because it makes him feel as though you're closer than every other person on the crew. Again, however, he doesn't try to cross any boundaries, and won't ask about anything he knows you're uncomfortable with.
---
Finally Franky, who's like Luffy, he doesn't really care. He's smart, he understands what you're going through, but it doesn't change what he already thinks about you.
He cares deeply for you, and does everything he can to make you happy. He's like a mixture of Zoro and Usopp, he's protective but also jokey. In a way, he's also like Robin, where he's happy-go-lucky and supportive in front of you, but fiercely protective of you when it's just him. He can't stand people being rude to you, mainly because he doesn't really understand it. He doesn't get how people could be rude to you, especially about something that doesn't really affect anyone other than you.
---
A/n: I didn't mention anything like hormone therapy and surgery because I didn't know how to include it in the headancons, and because I'm cis and don't want to get anything wrong. Sorry if that disappoints anyone. Please tell me if I got anything incorrect so I can fix it, thank you.
(Also sorry this wasn't really Yandere, I tried).
#yandere x reader#soft yandere#platonic yandere#yandere one piece#one piece x reader#yandere one piece x reader#one piece strawhats#one piece#yandere strawhats#straw hats x reader#fanfiction#fanfic#on
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i've found your account only a few days ago but ever since then I've been STUCK here rereading your fanfics, especially ones with damian. i wasn't even a dc fan (heard about some stuf, watched some films and cartoons, but that's it) but now im reading comics since im Obsessed and need more batboys in my life (rip my productivity😔)
Anyway, after Sleepover i'm curious what will Bruce (and maybe even Thalia) think of batboys strange behaviour towards reader. He's smart, so he definitely notices it early on, but how he'll react....
I can see him being weirded out (like he was by Jason's anger issues, before his death), but he also can be an enabler, since Robin (literaly any of them) had a hard life, so if those relationships can help him why not pretend that everything is normal? you'll be safer in a Wayne's Manor anyway
All in all, thanks for a new hyperfixation 💞💞
P.s. About games:
1. Boyfriend to death 1&2 - since you're into yanderes you might want to check this game out. I prefer the second game, but the first is also fun. But beware the trigger warnings!!
2. Long live the Queen - more of a raising sim than dating sim but you still can romance some guys and girls.
,3. Hatoful Boyfriend - mostly a comedy, but there is a yandere.
4. The Royal Trap - it's been a long time since i played it, but it used to be one of my favorites so i'll just mention it.
5. Higurashi - once again not really a romance sim, but its an interesting horror mixed with a slice of life
;A; AWWWW THANK YOU IM SO HAPPY YOU LIKE MY STUFF.... THAT MAKES ONE OF US GIJSDOFAFGHFOJDSD
and yes yes get into DC!!! (girl who hasnt even read a full run since like. injustice)
damn now you got me thinking and excited. incoming spiel
i agree entirely about bruce just knowing how Bad things can get, so to make things simpler, he's like "yes, your darling(s) can stay in the manor, boys. 🙄"
mmm yes..... when it comes to bruce noticing the batboys are yandere, i think it's always sinfully delightful to just have him be reluctantly okay with it. 😈 it's also easier narratively ngl but i also like the idea that the batfam is all just corrupted.
bruce's thoughts are that they (his sons) fight for vengeance and justice but this is where they could use some leeway.... we all need our vice... they fight so hard for gotham, they deserve a little treat (getting rid of your human rights)... it's very "Dad who wants his sons to have happiness even if its not healthy" of him. in fics where bruce is a yandere, well, he's the exact same way so he can't judge. although if that's the case, i like the idea of bruce just being like "yes what we do isn't right. let's not talk about it. just don't kill <3"
still wondering what i like more. a yan!bruce who's self aware what he's doing is wrong but he just refuses to think about it. or a yan!bruce that justifies it all because of his paranoia, Tower of Babel style (if you don't know, that's when it's revealed batman has plans to subdue/kill the justice league just in case they go rogue.)
for the batboys depends on their personality... for damian, he's so resolute in things that i prefer when he just believes 100% what he's doing is okay, if not actually righteous. ^_^
hmmm talia.... I'M STILL UNSURE HOW I PREFER THAT AS WELL... i think talia being a you-arent-good-enough-for-my-son mom is a little cliche but also. she kinda would say that. you'd have to prove your worth somehow but idk how tf darling would do that LOL. in the end, i think talia is just relieved/comforted that her son indeed feels desire and wants love and will continue the family legacy (regardless if youre afab/can biologically have children.)
no THANK YOU FOR THE ASK!!! AND THANKS FOR RECS!!!! heheh yeah ive checked out btd and im not averse to the warnings its more like im not that most of into the designs ngl. fox guy seems cute? AND LMAO FUNNY BC IM ON A HIGURASHI REWATCH (never played it tho)
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Smoker after the first seeing Lucky post-time skip:
He’s floored and the only reason he didn’t blow his cover as a yandere is cause he GENUINELY just stopped functioning. He just stood there in shock cause “it was NOT this bad before what the fuck happened??” And Lucky got away.
It genuinely takes the wind out of him. Before the timeskip, he was very much in denial about how down bad he was. He's just concerned that she's an innocent civilian being mixed up with pirates, that's definitely it! And, well, he'll also have to keep her under his care afterwards because of how dangerous the Straw Hats are. Now, though? It's impossible to deny how badly he wants her for himself and how little it really has to do with "saving" her.
I may as well talk about how the other pre-timeskip suitors handle the change.
Buggy's brain straight up short circuits. The increased affection fries his brain so hard that he fully forgets that they never actually got married, and he starts referring to Lucky as his wife. That must be why he suddenly feels so much stronger about her! They're in their honeymoon phase!
Kaku was already head over heels for her before, now it's borderline suffocating. He can't think about anything that isn't her and their future together. The once mostly innocent love letters he would send become notably more unhinged. He goes into great detail about how he envisions their lives together as a couple, what their home will look like when he can finally make it so they aren't being pursued, and of course he has to talk about what names he loves most for their future children and how he'd like to decorate the nursery.
Paulie wants to kick his own ass for how hard he's ogling Lucky post-timeskip. For once, he looks at a woman, feels a certain way about, and then asks if he's the problem. It's one thing to have the hots for someone but this feels ridiculous! The shame turns to an overprotective panic as it dawns on him that if he feels this way, others must, too. He's now all the more determined to hide her away from everyone else in the world.
Iceburg has lost all subtlety. The letters they were exchanging before had a sort of tongue-in-cheek playful banter going on, but now it's much more direct. No more 'it sure would be nice to have you here', now it's 'you are going to come back to Water 7 pack your bags already'. The occasional gifts he would send grow into a constant stream. He becomes much more encouraging of Paulie to go get her. Granted, getting her away from Paulie will be its own struggle, but he'll cross that bridge when he gets to it.
Law is taking it very much the same as Smoker, except he goes as far as to take out his own heart to examine it because what the fuck is happening to it right now? He already had a budding fondness, but now all he can think about is locking her in the Polar Tang and throwing away the key.
Kid feels like he got hit by a god damn cannon. At first, his desire to keep her around was based more on possessiveness than anything else, but after seeing her again post-timeskip, he has this instant realization of 'oh no, I LOVE her'. He won't vocalize this, but there is now a noticeable effort on his part to genuinely win her over rather than just keep her against her will.
#lucky break#white chase smoker#buggy the clown#kaku one piece#paulie one piece#iceburg one piece#trafalgar law#eustass kid#rebeccawinters
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Idk if you can do this but can you do something like when könig first meets y/n ik it's not much to go off but can you do it? It's fine if you can love your writing
enemies to lovers kinda thing!!! also thank you 💐 i'm super glad you're enjoying my posts :) 🩵;
how did you and könig meet eachother?
könig envied you, the wannabe sniper who couldn't become one because of his size. to make it worse, majority of the soldiers never liked könig themselves because of his strict manner. he'd yell at people for doing things wrong, even if it was a genuine and honest mistake, you were no exception. infact, you were his target.
he expected a hardened soldier who would snarl back at him, silenced as he cut off every attempt to prove yourself right. but instead, there you stood, shaking and trembling and not familiar with the way you were being treated. he swore he could see tears form in your eyes and your bottom lip quivering, he almost felt.. guilty?
you were everything he wanted, a sniper. something he'd dreamed of. you knew nothing about the teams wants and desires and dreams before joining kortac, much to your suprise when he growled at you for the smallest little mistakes, ones he could've made. “nein, wouldn't have made that mistake if i were a sniper.”
- and that's when you realised, everyone who told you that he was jealous, was right. he couldn't help the way his hands shook with anger and jealousy when he saw you training, even if he was a better fit for the role, it would never have been allowed. and he only hated you more when you asked him for help, of course you need help, you're fucking useless, he should've been the sniper.
and he won't bother helping you. one time you asked, tears already welling in your eyes out of pure frustration, him beside you, seeing as he hit every. single. fucking target. he wanted to see you cry and leave the military, this wasn't a place for you. “könig, can you please help me, i'm struggling.” he grabbed you and pulled you from the floor by your neck, like a mother cat would with her babies, yet he wasn't so loving about it..
pushing you back down onto the hard concrete, making you grit your teeth, hiding the pain that came. he knew you would snitch on him, or tell someone who would tell their commander and captain, he'd be gone in a matter of days. that's when he panicked, started getting more anxious before pulling you aside one day, and with desperation in his voice - just like how you were whilst training - begged you not to say or tell anyone.
you contemplated, you didn't enjoy how you were treated, and you didn't enjoy being stuffed into a small storage closet with him begging you. könig fully expected you to shake your head, and tell. you walked away, yet not saying anything. weeks passed and he became curious on why you never wanted to speak, finding you packing your bags and taking off your gear. “what are you doing?” his voice is a mixture of curiosity, and buried worry. he didn't actually want you to leave, the team needed you, a part of him needed you.
“i don't think this job is fit for me, you're right.” your smile is fake and the only reason you wore it was to hide how you were about to sob, not wanting to seem sensitive. “nein, no you're not leaving.” your ears perked at his sudden change of attitude. “i'm jealous, maus..” könig grumbled quietly, embarrassed. “i'm insecure that i can't be a sniper, i just take my anger out on others, i'm so sorry..” he won't meet your eyes, avoiding your gaze knowing he'll feel horrible for telling you the truth. “if you're so sorry, look at me when you say it.” your voice is no longer soft and instead strained, signing when he hesitates, finally looking at you.
“i am sorry, maus. please don't go.” you click your tongue, speaking loudly before dropping your bags. “alright, stop acting like how you do, and deal with your issues and problems like how a sniper would.” you turn back and head into the office, your harsh tone feeling like it cut his heart in half. but you were right after all... your captain was confused but gladly let you stay after telling him a lie, unpacking your stuff and resting on your bed.
knock, knock, knock... your door thumped, just like your heart did, jumping from the bed and twisting the door handle. of course, it was that tall, rude and brooding operator. “i want to make it up to you, will you let me show you how I really am?” one nod was all he needed, smiling and handing you his number.
he took you out on a date, as a friend. but afterwards, you felt like you met a new person, a different man. he spoke to you with genuine kindness, pulling you down onto his bed and sloppily making out with you, sucking on your neck and kissing your jaw. you weren't a friend, perhaps a love intrest... horangi was surprised to see you to making out messily one night, the figure taking up the entire doorway, flashing the light at you before gasping and locking his door.
suddenly become closer to the man you'd once felt anger and sadness to, teaching eachother tactics, finally helping you. a lot of soldiers considered the possibilities and conspiracies of what happened between you two now seeing you both acting like an old married couple.
#orla speaks#könig fanfiction#könig cod mw2#könig#könig call of duty#könig x reader#könig cod#könig mw2#konig x you#konig x reader#cod konig#konig cod#konig mw2#konig call of duty#könig x y/n#call of duty modern warfare#modern warefare ii
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🐍 cybergoth summary post 🦇
I'm not kidding when I say this is long. This is all just early relationship backstory for the most part. Sorry for any cringe. I love you.
LAZARUS, strange thing that she is, is abruptly sent to Hell one morning. Not dead yet; it was because she had apparently "applied" to be part of an "exchange program" at an academy full of demons. She does not recall ever applying to this in the first place, and certainly doesn't want to go back to school again, but she figures it's best not to object for now.
He has the details explained to him a bit less in-detail than he would like and is sent to the house where he'll be living in for the rest of the year until the program is over. He has. Six roommates. He's so fucking mad.
While the demon assigned to be her "guardian" (Mammon) is in the middle of talking about something she's not really paying attention to, they're both interrupted by another person entering the room, clearly already pissed off. This is Leviathan. Seeing Lazarus seems to give him an idea 💡 (bad) - and he promptly drags her off to his room.
Now, in her room... Lazarus is absolutely fascinated by it. It's aquatic. There's a bathtub full of blankets in there- her bed? She has a computer with 4 monitors. There is so much anime merch and some of it is of series that he recognizes and loves dearly.
Levi's room makes her feel a little bit hopeful. She'd been worried about not being able to adjust to a new place, about being friendless and needing to hide her interests, as usual... but there was a fellow nerd right here! Perhaps she could at least connect with one person?
So he thinks, anyway. But when he mentions also being into the same things Levi is, she immediately shuts that down.
"Yeah, right. Don't try and relate to me, you liar. I know how you normies work- you want to try and act like you're best friends with the weird outcast so you can use everything I tell you against me later!"
And, well, it's not like Lazarus doesn't understand that fear. That's literally happened to her. But the sting of rejection and the anger at an implication that she's some kind of poser causes her to storm out of his room without another word. Levi never gets to tell her what his plan for her was.*
The relationship between those two was strained for weeks afterwards. Whenever one would enter a room, the other would get up and leave. Only interacting with each other if they were somehow required to. Clearly, they don't care for each other very much.
...Even so, Lazarus feels a strange pull whenever he thinks about Levi. Despite his disdain for her and her gatekeeping, he still feels some desire to try and at least understand her a little more. He's not sure why. Maybe it's just because he stubbornly doesn't want to give up on his initial hope of being friends with her... but regardless.
She remembers a bunch of books on Levi's shelf that'd caught her eye the first (and last) time she'd been in his room. Some 138-volume fantasy series: The Tale of the Seven Lords (further referred to as TSL because I'm Not Typing All That). Being no stranger to long fantasy stories with convoluted lore, she decides to get into it.
It's a good series. He likes it a lot. Like, a lot. Seriously. She finishes reading the entire series (+ watches the movies, the animated series, even the god-awful theatrical version) in near record time. It's when he's rereading one of the novels in the living room that Levi catches him and is, well, kind of mad about it.
"Is that-? No way, you CAN'T be... you have to be trying to suck up to me or something, right? Or maybe you're doing this to spite me.. yeah, that sounds more like you. You're probably not even actually READING it-"
"This is my second read through the series."
"Liar."
Lazarus is irritated that he still refuses to believe her, but this interaction was also the most he's spoken to her since their first meeting, so she'll take it. Actually, she wants to take it a bit further: since it seems like he takes anyone liking the same things he does as a personal threat, she figures she'll give him a real one.
So, she challenges him to a trivia contest.
It's a terribly irresponsible idea and he knows it. But, Lazarus hopes there's even the slightest chance that this could all result in loser girl recognizing him as a kindred spirit and them becoming something like friends. NOT like he cares about that anymore, though. It's just no good being on such tense terms with someone you live with. That's all!
Day of the trivia contest. I will be honest. As much as she loved TSL, Lazarus knows she doesn't even come CLOSE to having the same level of investment in it that Levi does. So, she had to pull... a few strings, by asking one of her fellow students for help. That is to say- the match is rigged it's fucking rigged she pulls out a super rare one-of-a-kind piece of merch that Levi doesn't have.
And he's PISSED about it.
"The idea that someone like YOU could be a bigger TSL fan than me, it's- No... no, I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIIIIS!"
The room dissolves into chaos. Several hours later, in the guest bedroom- his bedroom- Lazarus reflects back on everything. Leviathan had just tried to kill him. Shifted into her demon form and everything. It was terrifying.
But she was so... So cuuuuuuuute!
She KNOWS she shouldn't feel that way, but! Once she'd had time to recover from the initial shock of it all, she realizes that perhaps Levi was a lot more interesting than she'd originally thought. The passion! His super cool horns that kind of looked like antlers- no, coral maybe? Anyway, she's kind of left in awe. And then she gets a text message.
Leviathan asks him to meet her in the planetarium. Quickly hiding any evidence of the fact that he was just kicking his feet giggling, he makes his way over. Levi gives him a (very half-hearted, but at least she tried) apology for the incident, and Lazarus speaks without thinking.
"I was impressed by you. Back there, I mean. I'd like to get to know you a little better- why not be my friend?"
"What?! Did you say friends? You and me...?! A-A-Are you... Are you out of your mind?! You know I just tried to attack you, right?"
He knows.
"And if Lucifer hadn't intervened, you'd be dead right now. You realize that, right? I mean, that literally JUST happened."
Yeah, he knows.
"Also... be my friend? Seriously? What are we, on the playground or something? Are you 5?! Who actually walks up to someone and asks them that? Could you BE any lamer?!"
Come on man you had to critique the word choice too?? But Levi's very obviously flustered, which means maybe he doesn't hate the idea THAT much?
"So, is that a no?"
"Whaaaaa-?! Are you even listening to me? Of course it's a no! I... Hey, wait, don't just leave!!!"
Hesitantly, groaning and complaining about it every other sentence in an attempt to seem like the mere idea of making a friend physically pains her, Levi agrees to put their past gripes with each other aside.
"BUT! This doesn't mean we're, like, comrades, though! So don't go getting the wrong idea. It's not like I'm gonna start hanging out with you every day or anything."
So they actually do end up hanging out every day lol. Lmao even.
It takes a minute for Levi to warm up to her, as he's never really had a true friend before. Plus, well... His self-loathing makes it a difficult to believe that anyone could really like him.
But Lazarus is persistent. He's annoyingly persistent. Yet, it makes her so happy... she can't explain these weird feelings she starts to get about him, this desire to somehow be even closer to the one she already calls her best friend- without actually dating him, because that's not what she wants.
It's only when Lazarus off-handedly compares the two of them to a pair of characters in TSL one day that Levi finally starts to understand his actual feelings.
"Hey. Don't you think we're kind of a lot like Henry and the Lord of Shadow?"
"Huuuh?! I mean, I see the individual similarities, but do you mean... relationship-wise?"
"Mhm. You yourself are always going off about their intimate and unbreakable bond. That's kind of what we have, isn't it?"
"I guess so? Their relationship is sorta weird... Like, I wouldn't say they're in love exactly, but they're still kind of... ugh, I dunno. Their scenes just feel different. Something beyond."
"I get it. Henry is friends with all the other lords, too... but his friendships with them aren't anywhere close to the thing he has going on with the Lord of Shadow."
"Right! You get it! We're totally on the same page!"
Lazarus smiles a little.
"That we are. I'm happy to be friends with you, Levi."
* - It's because of this that Lazarus doesn't get to form a pact with Mammon. Actually she doesn't have pacts with anyone except for Levi (which she doesn't get immediately after the competition either. That comes some time later. When they trust each other more)
I have another OC (who's a relative of his. My special boy) that takes care of the pact-making. But Lazarus is still the one that gets into the attic yes.
Anyway it takes a bit of further soul searching, googling, and finding exactly one astonishingly well written QPR Henry/Lord of Shadow fanfic for Levi to learn the specific term for what she's experiencing but. There's that! I don't think they ever ask each other to be partners it just kind of naturally happens.
Also I have playlists.
🎵 [General ship playlist] + [Levi's POV] + [Laz's POV]
#❥ the prince and the little mermaid#first divider cr to cafekitsune :]#Its weird writing a fic thats like not really a fic. Or something. So I feel like this is a bit awkwardly written but ITS OK its ok 👍#you can reblog only if you promise to be really niceys.#cg lore
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My last post got me thinking a bit more on how one might interpret Willow's relationships in the early seasons when coming at it with the perspective of her being a lesbian, rather than bisexual.
Willow had a crush on Xander from the start. Xander is her oldest (and possibly only) friend. They've known each other their whole lives, they always have fun together, and they love each other to death.
As I mentioned in my previous post, it is very easy to conflate this kind of dynamic with romantic/sexual attraction. You know you want this person to be in your life forever - isn't that what romance is? Wouldn't it be so nice to just marry them?
Let's put it this way. So you don't have many friends. The other girls are all really mean to you, so you hate them about as much as they hate you. You haven't had a close relationship with another girl since before puberty (if ever). You missed out on the slumber parties and other little moments of closeness with girls that could have clued you in that you're attracted to them.
Because of your social ostracization and general tendency to stay inside studying, you may be going into your second year of high school without ever having felt attracted to a single real life person.
At the same time, you know that everybody else is feeling it. They talk about it all the time. You must be feeling it to. You see guys on TV and think, "Oh, he's nice to look at." You always feel happy and comfortable around your best friend. That's it, right? That's what the buzz is about?
Another huge thing I don't see brought up too much anymore is the way Willow's pre-Tara relationships center almost entirely around validation.
Willow wants to be loved. She wants to be valued. She wants to be seen as attractive. Xander is constantly talking about how hot other girls are. Why can't he see her that way? Why can't any guy? Xander would see a girl he hates as an object of sexual desire before Willow.
The desire to be seen, to be desired can easily warp into a sort of obsession. But wanting to be wanted by a person is not the same as being attracted to them. And herein lies much of the trouble between her and Xander. She wants to be wanted by Xander, but does she want him? No, says season 3.
And now we come to Oz. This is another relationship that is almost entirely focused on validation for Willow. It's a big part of what makes it really, really fun to watch. From the second he first lays eyes on Willow, he's hers.
Oz is like everything Willow ever wanted. He's a cool attractive senior who's in a band and has a van. And he really, really wants her. He's also very smart, easy to talk to, and fun to be around.
It's a very low pressure relationship in terms of the physical. Oz craves meaningful connection, sees sexual activity as an expression of that connection. He encourages her to slow down, to not force it. He's chill. He'll wait. In short - it's not a relationship where passion is a requirement.
They go on several dates without Oz ever kissing Willow. Willow's first attempt to kiss Oz has him rejecting her because he can tell she's just trying to pacify her Xander-induced insecurities.
In his speech, Oz expresses openly how much he wants to kiss Willow. How he fantasizes about her in class. How much he wants to be the object of her desire as well. And Willow melts.
But her reaction is focused around (finally) being desired. It doesn't have much to do with Oz and who he is. She wants him to want her. That he's a cool guy she can brag about to her friends is a great bonus.
And don't take that last bit in the wrong way - it's wonderful Willow got to have that. It was innocent and sweet. The kind of guy she never imagined would be interested in her falling head over heels? It's pretty much every dorky girl's fantasy. Of course she's flattered and flustered and excited.
And what does Willow do when she has her dream guy? She cheats on him. Her affair with Xander can be seen as her being overwhelmed by this powerful attraction she's felt to him for years. Hormonal teenagers being idiots.
Many have suggested the thing with Xander can't align with lesbian!Willow. I disagree. Under this lens, Willow can't tell the difference between her feelings for Oz and her feelings for Xander because they aren't meaningfully different. She is able to cheat, depsite it being pretty against her character, because neither relationships carry the emotional weight they should.
The fling with Xander was a meaningless indulgence of a childhood fantasy. It was largely powered by (apologies for the repetition) wanting to be wanted. Xander, who's always overlooked Willow, was fucking up his relationship with Cordelia goddamn Chase to make out with Willow. That'd be pretty addictively validating.
Even after it blew up and Xander was single, there was never a choice between him and Oz for Willow. No conflict, Oz all the way. She felt dumb for even jeopardizing it.
But she did jeopardize it. Possibly an indication that even though their relationship was literally everything Willow could have asked for, there was still something missing?
Their sex life is also somewhat removed from sexual desire. When she attempts to initiate sex, it isn't about her attraction to him. She wants Oz to know she loves him, that he's special to her.
When they do have sex, it direct follows Willow's speech about there being so much she wanted to try after high school and how she's scared she might never get to. It isn't passion between the two characters that motivates the consummation, but Oz giving Willow the only thing he can in that moment. The chance to have a new and important experience.
Willow enjoyed it. They cuddle happily in the afterglow and Willow describes the experience as "nice."
Let's take a leap forward to Tara. Due to network restrictions, there's more limits on what the viewer is able to see of their relationship. The magic substitutes the physical, especially in season 4.
Those moments are intimate, sensual, very intense. They're deeply passionate.
Their connection is powerful. And it's entirely about each other. It's everything that was missing from Willow's relationship with Oz.
#a weird sort of lesbian!willow manifesto i guess lol#playing devil's advocate in a way - i'm not super invested in any interpretation of willow's sexuality#btvs#willow rosenberg#btvs meta
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bcos of Reasons (yes ani u have started me on a brain spiral, not ur fault just me thinking too much) i am thinking abt what i, as an aromantic, like to see in media
(and yes i do enjoy a good romantic arc also, this is not exclusive, i do not require to see aromanticism in order to enjoy something, just. like. what am i looking for when i am in a mood to see stuff i can relate to as an aro.)
and i was perusing lists of media with confirmed aro characters, right, and contemplating how many of those characters make me feel..... seen? represented? positive??? w/e.
and a... not even trend, bcos there's not enough for it to be a trend, but a storyline i see a chunk of the time is like, character comes out as aro/not interested in romance, and then has a 'so don't hit on me/don't expect me to date or get married/stop trying to set me up on dates/etc' conversation with another character
with ofc the good end there being the other character is like, oh, of course, i understand, i will do this to make u comfortable and i do not think you are a freak for this
which! don't get me wrong, not a bad story. visibility & affirmation & so on. part of the time it is a side character this happens to but also sometimes a main character! u kno. it's not bad.
but it's not really something i find....... super relatable, or desirable in media? like, it's fine, it's nice, it's not something i am actively seeking out or what i really want when i am looking for 'aro media', exactly.
and that may just be about where i am in my personal life journey, right. i am fine with who i am and how i live and have moved on past needing people to acknowledge my basic existence.
what i'm usually wanting is... well, platonic relationships. strong platonic relationships that have actual screen time, are shown to be emotionally resonant, and have just as much if not more importance placed on them as romantic relationships.
bcos that's what i really want, you know--not to be told 'yeah you can exist and Not Do Romance and that's fine :)' but to have the kinds of emotional connections i make be. yknow. important. to be told yeah, you don't do romance, but that doesn't mean you can't be the most important person in someone's life (even if right now as i am i am not emotionally stable enough to be that important to someone.......... but that's another story).
to..... not be defined by a lack, even tho i know that's. what aromanticism is, u kno, lack of romantic attraction. but having that lack not be the end. of a character, a conversation, a relationship.
it's why i like things like wolf 359, where like, we know jacobi and maxwell aren't romantic, but she's his person. he'll burn down everything for her. in her memory. so even tho neither character is 'canon aromantic', i feel seen & valued by their story.
right? yeah.
(also sometimes to have friendships shown in media that are just as fucked up and toxic and hand-in-unlovable-hand as some of the ships ppl love lmao. yes i'm aromantic but that doesn't mean all my love is sweet and nice. fun to see that shown sometimes. not always but u know. (jazz hands) variety)
#long post#idk i am simply thinking my many thoughts#i don't talk a lot abt like. personal identity stuff etc. but sometimes i have Feeeeeeelings. about things.#really this is just me contemplating the kinds of stories i want to create etc etc
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ok so if one of Ciel's parents survived instead, which one do you think Madame Red would have adapted better to, Rachel or Vincent? Let's assume Madame Red is by the survivor's side more often, as they'll likely be recovering from severe injuries from the fire. Since there was a survivor right after the fire, it means Madame Red has not killed yet, so things are still up in air.
personally? I think she do worse with Vincent. cause remember, it's Rachel that she based her life on, both out of love and envy. It was Rachel was helping Red recover from her accident. as much as Red loves Vincent, it's questionable how strong that foundation of love is. does she know him personally at all? does he have any interest in her beyond as a sister-in-law? if so, at the start things are already shaky.
I think Rachel's death would depress her, but i can see her being elated at first. she has an excuse to stay by Vincent's side and nurture him. they both lost their spouses and children recently and here's a chance to start anew! but after a while she's starts falling apart.
I can't see Vincent moving on (especially with Rachels sister). Even worse he would compare her to Red, reminisce about his family constantly, etc. She couldn't get Rachel out of her mind. Rachel's presence at the house would haunt her, and the guilt, the unresolved resentment, would gnaw at her stomach every night.
And she still can't give birth! What chance to start anew! she'll never have a child with him, and he'll never stop obsessing over his dead ones anyway. and eventually envy would still spike after dealing with the prostitutes everyday, so I just don't see it turning out well.
I actually think she would do so much better with Rachel. yes the envy, yes the grief. I could see Red becoming openly bitter towards her. but this time, her sister didn't triumph. her sister that did everything right and was perfect, lost her husband and kid. she's a burned, widowed, pathetic woman! just like her. Red would forgive this. She would nurture her sister back to health. She'll never be as beautiful again, with burn scars across her face and body, but Red would forgive this too. No man will hold her sister again, and she'll love her for this. She'll love her more because she's as miserable, no even more miserable than her.
And they would develop this happy-miserable, toxic relationship. Always relying on each other, always resenting each other, sort of co-dependent relationship that could last for years on end. Ironically, I can see this stabilizing Madame Red in some twisted way, as she finds catharsis through complete control over her sister.
In a sense, it's very reminiscent to r!ciel's desire of control over o!ciel after everything they went through. like how r!ciel will "forgive" o!ciel for his lies, while clearly still resenting him for what he's done. And it's because he's torn between this confusing, hatred at his brother while still having this intense attachment and love for him, that this desire of control comes for over the whole situation. That's why he can forgive his brother despite his thinly veiled hatred.
also. Madame Red being more put together if Rachel survived rather than Vincent is just. so funny
#like get it together woman#lowkey tho rachel and ann becoming a couple of bitter old crones that lived a moderately satisfactory life#and never getting involved in that supernatural nonsense#being one of the better endings for kuro is so funny#and red and r!ciel parallels!?? more likely than you think#either way madame red is meant to be a tragedy#and both these scenarios are so deliciously awful#kuroshitsuji#kuro#rachel phantomhive#vincent phantomhive#b.txt#madam red#b.au
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