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#(i have tried not engaging i have tried engaging they both feel awful)
mihrsuri · 23 days
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I keep trying to write an update and then being embarrassed about it and feeling like I’m trauma dumping on people by updating and I just..I know it’s on me to manage my crap, I know. I am trying (not very well but I’m trying) and it’s just…I don’t know. I don’t even know.
#please know i have thought about hospital but hospital would#genuinely make it worse (like I cannot even tell you how much worse)#i think I’m legitimately just…having a trauma reaction on top#of a jewish trauma spike#and dentists and having to move (I may have cleaned till I shook today also my arm#does not look great#i feel like i don’t actually verbally have the words#(i have tried not engaging i have tried engaging they both feel awful)#(hashem i don’t know would you even embrace me would you…)#(it’s not a meds thing (I take meds for mdd and I know what that looks like and this isn’t it)#(it’s hard to explain the difference between CPTSD and like a panic attack or a depression)#(except that I feel like I’m so so tainted and not in my body or if I’m in my body I’m in my body somewhere else#abuse cw#i didn’t ask for this cptsd and no tshirt was offered#this will disappear probably#UGH#(i am seeing my therapist tomorrow i just..i know i need to reach out to)#(to like my current landlords and ask if I could just pay for a cleaning service to come in)#(i know i need to be like ‘unfortunately my CPTSD is Fucking Terrible Right Now and I need)#(just a bit of grace apologies)#(i do not want my parents to know i do not want that)#(aside from the fact that I am already a burden to them anyway)#a stupid flop of a person i am crying thinking about how i had plans for kids and a wife and travel and…I’m nothing#(everyone else is something I’m not I don’t deserve grace lbr)#it keeps running through my head how many people i thought loved me want me dead#and it’s like I can fake it so well#(i don’t know I may be like sending words to people)#to run through the steps of not being alone#i’m truly sorry i am always not taking accountability and playing the victim and clinging to people#to get reassurance i don’t deserve that its a good person it isn’t it isn’t a person
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indecisivemuch · 4 months
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Scandalous
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Pairing: Luke Castellan x Reader
Summary: The reveal of a scandalous detail about yours and Luke's relationship left you both flustered and everybody else gaping. Inspired by one line from So It Goes - Taylor Swift (fluff, established relationship).
Warning: allusions to sex, but no explicit details.
Word count: 2k
You and Luke have been going out for well over a year now. Yet, he never failed to make you feel like it would be an eternal honeymoon phase: whispers of sweet words about a lifetime’s worth of promises, delicate and sacred touches, looks filling in for unspoken words.
Loving Luke was as easy as having a daily routine - so natural and almost like a grounding thing from the life of a Demigod.
Currently, Luke was training with Percy. You were not too far away either, sparring with Clarisse. Despite the area being occupied by many other Demigods engaging in similar activities, Luke could not help but frequently glance over at you.
Luke has always been mesmerized by the way you combat, which he metaphorically compared to a ballerina. So precise, yet deadly. Every move was with intention and purpose. 
The way sweat glided down the side of your face, your cheeks flushed from fighting, eyes darting with strategy, heavy pants in between dodging and attacking your opponent, the smirk hinted on your face - all of it made Luke’s mind grow flustered. Somehow, he found everything you do attractive.
If he was honest, his mind seemed to be doing nothing lately but think of you, especially when you’re not beside him. The memories he has harvested over your time together only transformed his brain into a cinema, which constantly played montages of you. Every morning, he’d wake up from a dream about you to the sight of you in his arms - that is before he had to sneak out of your cabin back to his. You constantly occupy every cell in his mind, like an uncontainable virus spreading. Yet, for some reason, he was not scared. He welcomed this feeling with his whole arms wide open.
You broke eye contact with Clarisse to look at Luke. Almost instantly, your eyes melted into ones filled with adoration and his own eyes mirrored the same emotions - if not tenfold. 
You were absolutely enamored with how Luke looked at you. Even before dating each other, people have mentioned the eyes he was giving you. But being oblivious, you did not see what they were talking about. However, it all became clear when you started dating. You started noticing how he would look at you like you were a rare artwork he would most likely never see again or a shooting star - a once-in-a-lifetime occurrence kind of thing that left him in awe all the time. He would do it so endearingly as if it would help to absorb every detail of you and imprint them into his memory. His looks have always made you feel loved - like you were the only thing that mattered to him, as if he has not told you this verbally and through actions already. Usually, you’d feel slightly insecure if somebody was staring so intensely at you, but he did it in a way that made you feel like your flaws were created to be loved for. 
However, a gasp escaped your lips as Luke was showered by a wave of the ocean. Everybody else also drew their attention to the head of Hermes’ cabin and the newly claimed Poseidon kid.
When Luke looked back at Percy, he was faced with a sheepish grin.
“I had to get your attention somehow. I tried calling your name like ten times already,” Percy shrugged his shoulder with feigned innocence, but the glint of mischief told Luke that the kid was anything but feeling guilty about soaking him from head to toe. 
“Percy,” Luke groaned as he could feel the fabric of his clothes cling to his body. Percy bashfully chuckled and offered another sheepish look to the counselor who was meant to train him. 
The cool water did offer a temporary fix to the boiling summer heat. But mixing that with sweat, combat, and Luke's long-sleeved shirt underneath was disastrous. The Hermes boy sighed as he slowly took off the bright orange camp shirt. After struggling slightly, he managed to pull the shirt off from over his head. However, the gray shirt he was wearing underneath got pulled up more than slightly from the extra friction between wet fabrics, revealing the majority of his back to Percy and others. 
He did not think much of it until gasps - including yours - could be heard as this happened. Chris even whistled as he and everybody else spotted what Luke did not notice.
“What?” Luke asked as he pulled down his gray shirt and started wringing his camp t-shirt, trying to rid it from being as wet as possible. 
“Damn, did you get mauled by a minotaur or something?” Percy asked. 
Almost immediately, Luke paled at Percy’s words as he realized what the kid was talking about.
Indeed, as Luke’s gray shirt underneath got pulled up, which revealed the majority of his back, this had also put on display the scratches down his back left from nights that he spent with you. Some were evidently old and healing, as seen by how Luke’s skin was patching itself up and matching closer to his skin tone. Others were somewhat freshly red, while a few were like wounds being reopened. To make matters worse, they could spot the occasional crescent shape bruises that were indentations of your nails. 
Considering your guys’ relationship was not a secret, there was no room to deny it if somebody pointed fingers at you. You blushed as people now averted their eyes to you as if this was the most scandalous thing all year. Clarisse and Chris, on the other hand, were both smirking. 
The whole camp knew you were the one who left those scratches there, and you sincerely wish you could dig a hole to hide yourself from all the attention right now.
Luke’s eyes darted to you, and you offered him an awkward smile as your face grew a darker shade of red.
“No, seriously, dude, you gotta get it checked out at the infirmary. How did that even happen?” Percy only continued, somehow actually clueless about the cause of those marks. You could see Annabeth sending Percy a somewhat side-eye from nearby at his words while Grover let out a deep sigh. 
You started approaching the two, hoping you could intervene and save the both of you from this situation.
“Uhm…well,” Luke started, unsure how to even answer the kid or divert the attention elsewhere as his cheeks flushed and ears tinted pink from trying to ignore memories of what you two had done the night before.
The Hermes boy has jokingly sweet-talked you before on how he might walk out shirtless after one of your rendezvous to show off the marks you left on him. Never would you two think that that idea would ever happen like this.
“Yeah, I reckon you should get that checked out,” you decided to say as you reached Luke, settling your hand on Luke’s lower back and greeting Percy. “Thank you for worrying about him.”
“Yeah, no problem. I mean, it must have been quite a minotaur to land that much of a number on him,” Percy somehow carried on and was utterly oblivious to Clarisse and Chris, who almost bursted out laughing at his latest comment. You, on the other hand, squinted your eyes at the kid. You turned to Luke and you could see it in his eyes that the boy was on the verge of laughing as well. You were sure he would have done so if it were not for your glare.
“Well, we best go heal those wounds now, right Luke?” you gave your boyfriend a look, hoping he would get the message to play along.
“Right,” he agreed almost instantly. 
“Alright, bye, Percy,” you hastily spoke, before dragging Luke by his hand away from everybody's eyes.
“Bye guys,” you could hear the kid’s voice as the both of you retreated. It felt like a walk of shame as the semi-crowd parted ways for you two to leave the scene. You immediately let out a deep breath as soon as nobody was near anymore.
“Gods, that was so embarrassing. The kid basically repeatedly called me a minotaur.”
“I mean…you can be my minotaur?” Luke cheekily jested, trying to tease you a bit more over the situation.
“Oh, no, no, no, we’re not making that a thing. No, absolutely not are you ever gonna make that a nickname,” Luke only laughed at your reaction before wrapping his arms around your shoulders and bringing you into a hug. As he did so, you wrapped both your arms around his waist, face colliding with his chest the way it would usually do when you guys cuddle. He gave you a few peppered kisses on your forehead, close to your hairline. 
“They’re never gonna let us live that down, will they?” You asked after letting out a muffled groan against his chest.
“Nope,” Luke admitted. Despite the Hermes boy usually easing away your worries, even he knew this would be the talk around camp for a while. Nevertheless, he unwrapped his arms around you and cupped your face with both hands. Using his callus-filled hands, yet gentle touch, he soothed your furrowed eyebrows by rubbing over them to urge you from scowling.
“But…you know what? I’m kind of glad this happened. Sure, it might be awkward and a tad bit embarrassing. But now, they finally get to see how lucky I am to have been given a chance by such a gorgeous and sweet Demigod. And…” he paused, giving you a quick kiss. “This way, any guy potentially still after you know to keep their hands off.” He cheekily winked at you after saying so. 
Gods, you remember how jealous Luke would get before you were together. It was lowkey hot to see him so riled up. Though, after the both of you got together, you have always reassured him that you had eyes on him and only him. 
“I guess that also means any girls still thinking they could steal you from me would know they have no chance?” you questioned, smiling ear to ear when he nodded eagerly at your words.
“Exactly. That’s a win-win in my book. I’m not embarrassed they saw what you left on me. They could talk for all I care. So stop worrying, or else you’ll start getting wrinkles,” he lightly flicked the area between your furrowed eyebrows. As you were about to complain, he quickly kissed you right where he previously flicked you, and that immediately melted away any bit of feigned irritation you had with him. He chuckled at the sight of your furrowed eyebrows untangling itself.
“Thank you,” you muttered, showing your gratitude towards Luke. 
If Luke had a superpower, it would probably be calming you down. He has always managed to tame your emotions whenever they were drowning you. He was like an anchor to you, always grounded you during chaotic times. Sometimes, you wonder how you got so lucky. 
You peered up at him sweetly, and the look alone made him lean down to capture your lips with his again. You chuckled at his action and kissed him back with just as much passion as he was leaving on your lips. Your hands started playing with the hair close to the nape of his neck. He let out a content sigh while still showing your lips just how much he loved them and you. However, he abruptly pulled away before dropping a question. 
“Are we really going to the infirmary?” Luke hesitantly asked, bringing up your words from earlier. He watched as you gave him an amused look.
“What did you think?” As soon as his eyes met yours, he knew exactly what you wanted. He gave you a sheepish grin before the two of you quietly giggled to each other before walking further away from the training grounds.
Let's just say you two did not follow through with your words of going to the infirmary, and neither were you tending to his “wounds”.
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headspace-hotel · 17 days
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It's important to not force your human morals onto non-human nature, like "this creature, since it disgusts me, is bad" or "this creature, since it has behaviors I interpret as sweet and heartwarming, is good"
But if you study nature whether in life or in profession, nature will make you feel disgusted and uncomfortable, it's not necessary to act as if those feelings don't exist within you, because they are part of your encounter with the otherness of nature, and contain sensitivities that can be sharpened into their own ingredient to knowledge and awareness
Coexisting with discomforting parts of the reality of Nature without trying to resolve them into a moral or aesthetic framework you are happy with, reflects maturity
It is no good to "redeem" a hated animal if the redemption is another false idea of the animal as innocent and good. This implies that a creature's "goodness" is a valid reason it deserves existence. It is also no good to treat a beloved animal with hatred to make things fair.
A good example is with dolphins and sharks, dolphins were seen as good and cute and almost human, whereas sharks were seen as bloodthirsty killers, and this has cost the lives of sharks while dolphins are given more sympathy, so some people have tried to turn it around, portraying sharks as gentle and good while pointing out that dolphins can be violent and rape other dolphins.
A lot of dolphin behaviors are certainly upsetting, definitely it makes sense to be upset that an animal can engage in what appears like cruelty, but human morality isn't made to apply to non- humans, and a particular behavior is not the entire reality of what a whole species is like. Dolphins also engage in behaviors that humans judge as friendly, compassionate, altruistic, curious and playful
Think of a particular dog or cat and the variety of complex behaviors they are capable of—an entire species, made of individuals with their own complexity, must be far more complex. All of your emotional responses to dolphins are recognizing the immense complexity of these animals and how they are both like and unlike you, which is important to think about to expand your understanding of the universe
Fitting a creature to a flat framework for your own comfort or internal resolution is a disrespect to the creature. Certainly with sharks, everyone should know the facts about them rather than sensationalistic misinformation—shark attacks are rare, humans are not a preferred food for sharks, and most shark bites are exploratory investigations of a strange object or animal rather than feeding upon a selected prey item, however this doesn't mean sharks are "good" by human standards and it certainly doesn't mean sharks are "safe."
Seeing a video of an enormous Great White swimming placidly I feel that her presence is not just breathtakingly beautiful, but awesome—in the more archaic sense of something that inspires awe, something so great and powerful it could destroy your fragile human life without malicious intent. Likewise with any shark, it is respectful to recognize that they can be dangerous, it is disrespectful to think of them as ocean puppies and try to touch them and grab them.
Fear, disgust, anger—each is an instinct that functions to protect you and is reactive towards potential or perceived threats. Your brain allows you to evaluate things that cause these responses and choose how to act.
All parts of this whole are important because the natural world contains actual threats but knowledge and intentional behavior are important to protecting yourself.
For example, once when I found a tick crawling on my clothing, I felt disgusted and startled, which is appropriate, but my instinctive reaction was to immediately flick the tick off, flinging it onto the floor or furniture nearby where I no longer knew where it was. In this way my response didn't actually protect me but instead increased the level of risk
There are plenty of other examples—if someone sees a venomous snake they might think it is important to kill it, but trying to kill the snake is much more dangerous than leaving it alone, since the snake will try to defend itself. Spraying pesticides to kill bugs can unbalance the ecosystem causing more harmful pests than you started with because the natural predators are also killed. Using poisons to kill mice and rats will also poison their natural predators. Killing coyotes just causes them to disperse and reproduce at a higher rate, and killing wolves causes overpopulation of prey, which causes disease to proliferate and forests to be stripped bare of saplings that could grow up and regenerate the forest...
...And it also works the opposite way with human responses of affection, love and sociability: humans often may feel that they want to make an animal their friend, but often it would be cruel to take that animal into a human house and treat it as a pet. White-tailed deer may seem cute and sympathetic but hunting some of them is important for the health of the ecosystem, and trying to make them tame puts the deer and the humans in danger. Domestic cats are our friends but they are also invasive species in much of the world, destroying populations of birds, mammals and amphibians.
Domestic cats aren't serial killers or murderers either, they are just predatory animals that instinctively hunt and kill prey.
It is hard for facts about animals to be propagated while those facts must be presented as reasons the animal deserves to live or deserves to die. Virginia opossums are important to their ecosystem and deserve to exist. They also don't actually eat ticks, that came from a very flawed and sloppy scientific study that was contradicted by later studies, and sadly the reason this misinformation got so far is that it was "proof" that opossums are valuable and shouldn't be killed for no reason.
Wolves are keystone species and vital to their ecosystems, but it's not true that they never attack humans, there have been a small handful of wolf attacks on humans, it's very few and wolves generally avoid humans but they're not "safe." They shouldn't have to be "safe" to deserve to live.
Fact is, most animals can harm a human if they feel threatened or end up in an unlucky situation! Most animals can spread disease one way or another! We have to live with this, we have to learn and use strategies to keep ourselves safe, we can't just sterilize the world of animals because of a possibility that an animal could hurt someone, any more than we can cut down every tree because trees fall on people sometimes.
No one likes hearing that there's no way to for-sure eliminate all possibility of ticks from your yard, you just have to take precautions against them, but it's true! Just like there's an inherent possibility a wasp could sting you, an inherent possibility a snake could bite you, an inherent possibility a mountain lion could eat your livestock, but you can dramatically lower your risk of these things by knowing how to coexist with these animals.
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floatyflowers · 2 months
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Dark!House of The Dragon Men x Reader
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You tried to balance your relationship with the greens and blacks despite being Rhaenyra's daughter.
And it worked.
With Aegon II Targaryen
Both of you are close in age, as you are older then Jace.
Aegon found himself falling for you, due to many factors, not only because you are beautiful.
You are kind, intelligent, and most importantly YOU LISTEN to him.
Both of you spend too much time together with or without your mothers knowledge.
The only time he stood up to his mother is when she spoke about you in a horrid manner, calling you a bastard.
"If you dare speak about her like that ever again, I will go and inform father!"
He later on becomes your betrothed by Viserys' order to unite the house.
With Aemond Targaryen
You never mocked him like his brother and your siblings.
In fact, you became his friend and shared his interest in reading books.
The only one in house Targaryen that he felt connected to is you.
Sometimes you would sneak into his chamber in the middle of the night though the hidden passages to just chat.
So, it's hard for your Targaryen uncle not to fall for you, he even looked past your legitimacy.
You literally stood by his side when Luke took his eye and comforted him.
But hearing your engagement to his older brother made his blood boil, and he took an oath to steal you away.
Especially after claiming Vhagar, he realized he now has the ability to burn down anyone who he finds as a threat to his affection towards you.
"Don't worry, I will protect you, dear niece"
With Jacearys Velaryon
He respects and loves you dearly, you are his role model.
That is why he started to bully Aemond when he saw you pay attention to the silver haired Targaryen more than him.
When puberty hit him, he began to slowly develop feelings for you.
And what increased those feelings is that he heard his mother mention something about marrying you to him.
But all his dreams came crashing down when Viserys' announced that you would wed Aegon.
And when you actually did marry Aegon, and after years where Viserys' held a feast, Jace tried to convince you to return to Dragonstone with him.
The night he got in a fight with Aegon he let out all his fury, even if he promised to behave.
"Annual your marriage to him and marry me instead"
With Ser Criston Cole (Platonic)
He is your biological father.
And he knows that, so unlike his bad treatment towards your mother and siblings, he treated you kindly.
At the age of ten he revealed to you that he is your real father.
At first you didn't believe him, but as you grew older you did begin to realize the truth.
Instead of avoiding him, you decided to be friendly and call him 'father' when you both are alone.
One time, one of the servants accidentally spilled soup on you.
The next day that servant was found dead.
"I'm your father before being the Queen's sworn sword"
With Gwayne Hightower
He flirted with you before your wedding not realizing that you are his nephew's bride.
Gwayne hates Rhaenyra, but the thought of you being her daughter left him in disbelief.
You are nothing like your mother.
Everything about you scream honor, virtue and kindness.
Gwayne even tried to convince you to runaway before it's too late.
"You still have time to not marry Aegon"
Indeed, it's awful to say that about his nephew.
But he cares about your well-being more than Aegon's happiness.
And it really shows during the war.
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undreaming-fanfiction · 2 months
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Established Steddie, they have been living together for over a decade, did their best to heal their wounds from the Upside Down and learn to enjoy life again. It's not easy but they do it.
When the Lord of the Rings movies come out, it's actually Steve who suggests watching them to Eddie. He really tries engaging with Eddie's passions, but his focus is not the greatest when it comes to books. That doesn't mean he doesn't listen to Eddie ramble about them though - he knows all about hobbits, second breakfasts, the culture of smoking in the Shire...Eddie admires a lot of characters from the books, but ever since experiencing the Upside Down fuckery, he actually admits that the hobbits had a point. Good food, even better company and good tobacco? What else does one need? It also inspires Steve a few years later to prepare a full day of hobbit-inspired meals for their trilogy marathon when the extended editions come out. But this is about their first time watching the movies.
They both go to the movie theater excited. Steve is familiar with most of the characters, including Eddie's self-admitted crush on Aragorn. And Steve can see why, he can see so much good in all the members of the fellowship. After the first movie, he's wiping his eyes because Boromir deserved better. Eddie has a lot to say about what was lost in adaptation, but Steve knows Eddie loves those movies and would cut off his only remaining nipple before missing the next ones.
The Two Towers have Steve rooting for the ents and he feels strangely touched about how everyone underestimates Pippin, yet it's him who gets the ents to march. He really can't pick a favorite character. He can't wait for the third movie.
They go to the premiere of the Return of the King with Eddie. They secretly hold hands in the last row, and Steve watches the ride of the Rohirrim with bated breath. He clenches his hand in Eddie's when Theoden gets gravely injured, but then Éowyn is there and...oh.
He is staring slack-jawed at the scene. Éowyn's large, terrified eyes, the towering frame of the Witch King. Her posture was fearful, crouched, but still she faced him. And something surfaces in his head, something he's long forgotten.
He's unusually queit when they come back home, he still loves the rest of the movie, almost cries at "my friends, you bow to no one,", then definitely cries at Frodo leaving the Middle Earth. But there is still that something and Eddie can sense it. When they're falling asleep together, Eddie finally asks him. And Steve's had enough time to process what he felt.
"When Éowyn faced the Witch King...it reminded me of what it felt like. I mean, for the first time. I know it's stupid because saw so much unnatural shit, but...it's the first time that I have hard time forgetting," he admits quietly. "She reminded me of me in 1983 so much. I had no clue what I was getting myself into. I thought I'd do the right thing, but then I had a gun pointed at me, they both had blood on their hands...and then it appeared."
Eddie doesn't speak, he only holds Steve closer.
"It was so tall. I remember that petal-like mouth, those teeth, but mostly...I remember the crippling fear. I felt absolutely terrified. I couldn't move. There was even a moment when I thought of running away, but...I couldn't leave them there. Seeing someone go through something similar and being praised for being a hero...it makes me think. I used to be so ashamed for freezing in that moment. For even considering running away. But Éowyn...she was like me." There's awe in his voice and warmth, relief. "She had no idea what she was getting into. She froze. She didn't do everything perfectly and gracefully like Legolas or something, but when it mattered...she did what she had to."
He holds Eddie tighter and asks, almost shyly: "Will it offend you that I think she's my favorite character? Not Aragorn or Sam?"
Eddie just shakes his head and drops a kiss to Steve's hair. "Nah. She suits you well. And you're both amazing."
And if it becomes a silly endearment in their household, that Steve is sometimes called the Shieldmaiden of Hawkins? ("I'm not a maiden, Eddie!" "I'm not calling you a shieldboy or shieldbachelor, Steve!") Then Steve feels a hint of something that he thought he'd renounced, but now, for the first time he feels it's deserved - pride.
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gangplanksorenji · 4 months
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Kinknuary Day 10: Body Worship
Pairing: ITZY Yuna x Male Reader
Word Count: 4,197
[Kinknuary Masterlist]
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“God, you’re breaking the Internet, again, Yuna.” You present a flummoxed face (not really surprised, but you're still amazed) as you swipe left to view the pictures she's taken.
“Well, daddy—” Yuna scoffs, a sanguine look paints her face as she turns to face you, proving how she’s worthy of that goddamn title no one can take away from her, “—all of them know how eye-catching my body can be. Hah—all I know is that there's probably thousands and thousands of people drooling over my slender body.”
“And only I—” You pulled her immediately onto yours, inches away from your bodies touching as you gave her a mischievous smirk in which Yuna portrays shyness towards you as she probably knows where this will go, on your own accord, “---can get to see them everyday or whenever I want.”
“Daddy!” Yuna playfully retaliates with a light punch, in which you laugh because of her adorable remarks. “Don’t be so complacent. I still have schedules with the members and gladly, I got to see you despite my hectic schedule.”
She was genuine when she said this and you couldn’t help but blush because of it. You know how schedules can literally abort your plans with her and you ultimately understand it and you don’t really want to interfere with any of that because of the threat of being caught by the media’s eyes as you know how crazy their eavesdropping abilities are. You knew her side and yours, and the fact she showed up just to bond with you is beyond spectacular as you’re in awe with her willingness.
“Yuna, I really do appreciate your efforts, honestly…” You then kiss her forehead as you let her know how genuinely grateful you feel as those doe eyes stare at you endearingly, mirroring the affectionate atmosphere you’ve emanated earlier.
“All for you, daddy, ‘cause I know how much you love me and miss me…” 
Yuna knows the picks to your locks and won’t definitely keep the gates closed to herself if she knows within a single touch, your whole world could collapse in shambles. Yes, within just a single action gets some fruit of labor: a kiss enamored with affection as both parties engage with utmost intimacy, fighting for dominance. Well, it’s not exactly dominance but the aggression on each other’s reciprocation is vocalized, and Yuna, as the girl she is, fully indulges onto the taste of your lips as if you're insanely insatiable—I mean, you are insanely irresistible at her end as both feelings are mutual. 
Your hands gracefully course its way onto the back of her slender, hourglass waist and then the endgame, her plump buttcheeks, further emphasized with the skinny jeans she loves wearing—of course, she’ll make sure you’ll get some of your own private content, exclusively for your eyes to take a sight on only. As you deepen the kiss, Yuna hums in satisfaction as she waited for this for weeks and now, is extremely jovial as every second is cherished within heated pecks. 
“You kiss me so good, daddy.”
“You’re a great kisser too, Yuna, and—” You lean back a little, composing yourself onto a sight that will sure make anyone in awe—taking some time to look at the sight of her perfectly-sculpted waist as you take yourself to admire how hot she is and how her outfit perfectly compliments her hourglass figure. “—gosh, you look incredibly hot and pretty in this outfit.”
No wonder why the Internet goes crazy over this girl, and gladly, you knew the answer way back then as you’re always thankful to see it with your very own eyes.
Yuna faces slightly against you as she tries to hide the rosy hue her cheeks have emanated but she doesn't even bother to conceal her true emotions, as you’re in awe of how weakly she’s taking your compliments. She rested her hands onto your shoulders as you couldn’t contain your emotions again and initiated another kiss but this time, you parted out of her mouth quickly enough to appreciate her other features by peppering it with needy kisses. You take your time to admire her smooth, porcelain skin and then latch your lips onto it, suckling onto her neck as she lets out an almost inaudible moan as your actions make her feel great.
“You know you can get rid of this stupid jacket, Yuna.”
“You’re right, da—ahh—daddy…” Yuna didn’t mind your affectionate peppering towards her neck to express her insatiability and your hunger towards her as she continues to slowly remove her pieces of clothing that’s refraining you from addressing your love for her further. You gave her ease by moving for her comfort as not so long after, she already removed her first layer of clothing as you smile from the sight of more skin is being exposed but Yuna knows it wasn’t enough, so she course her way onto undressing her crop top jacket and still, you continue peppering her with kisses yet this time, you add admiration to her sharp collar bones that she always liked.
“Y-You really missed k-kissing them, daddy?”
“Of course I do, baby.” With now just her black spaghetti-strapped top as the last line of defense, you ultimately succumbed onto your own primal desires as you worship every inch of her exposed skin, showing her how much you love them in series: her shoulders that you always love to see whenever she feels confident, her sharp collar bones that exudes class and sexiness in every way possible and there’s way more features to express your love on and it’s only inches away before your latch onto your treasured grand prizes.
“As much as I love this outfit on you, Yuna—it’s better on the floor because your body’s a better sight to see.”
“B-But—ahh, daddy! I k-know how much you’ll l-love them so, thank you—ahh, right there!”
Of course, just like any other person, Yuna reads your mind with outfits that showcase her curves and you know how much you’ll love them and she’s clever with that. Having enough of her neck and collarbones, you want to discover and worship more of her as you’re only getting started—and Yuna’s already moaning like crazy, considering how she’s always sensitive to the touch whenever she’s with you. 
“Don’t you mind it if I do, Yuna?” Your fingers play the strap on her top, waiting for her green light if you can strip it out of her. 
“I d-don’t mind it, daddy—my b-body is all yours—all fucking yours!”
Well, that’s more of a green light than what you expected but nonetheless, you did as what you told yourself to do—stripping that strap off of her body as gravity gracefully does its work and you finished the job yourself. She raised her arms for a better leverage on undressing that stupid clothing off and wow, you didn’t expect the sight that has been laid onto you now.
“Hm, getting really naughty and daring huh, Yuna?” Yes, your eyes would never lie to you nor give you delusional hallucinations as the sight of her fully-uncovered, perky breasts are now all over your sight with her taut buds begging for your touch and god, you just want to give in to your temptation. Well, there’s no one stopping you about your own animalistic urges as your fingers find its way onto her taut nipples, pinching it as you alternate it with fondling that makes Yuna moan in more need as greed clouds her mind, wanting you to do more.
“Well, I k-knew you’d l-like this so—ahh, daddy! Yes, I—god—ahh, I w-want to surprise you…”
And you’re definitely surprised yet the familiar tent is now coming down to your nether regions, poking onto the frustrating clothing that is holding them back. “And I’m damn surprised about this, Yuna but I love it—you know? Easier access…” And you just keep teasing her with your tongue and your lips latching onto her stiff buds and the constant fondling of her perky breasts as inevitably, Yuna cries as the sensitivity is peaking at its finest loves everything that’s happening, the further stimulation becoming the golden trophy she’s been longing for.
You continue sucking onto the smooth, spotless skin as you were deprived of her for years and the random nibbling of your tongue onto her nipples as the cherry on top and it never stopped, and so are Yuna’s symphonic moans. 
“Do you know how perfect you are, Yuna? You are something no man can express ‘cause look at you—” Your hands sluggishly caress her midriff and then towards her perky mounds in which, she can’t help but irresistibly moan out how great she’s feeling and your touch does wonders all over her body. “—sculpted perfectly and built to be fucking used, huh, Yuna?”
If she’s arousing the living hell out of you as she aims to unleash the feral beast inside your soul, then might as well add some of the filthy talk to further lit up the flames of lust that has been building up. You know how horny and unstoppable Yuna can get, but you need to let her know how much you adore her and how perfect her body is. She’s getting riled up, you could tell from the writhing of her knees and thighs whenever you play with the smooth skin of her toned abdomen and that alone, puts a delighted smile on your face, knowing that she’s being turned on truly by your primally lustful actions. You continue to play, kiss and worship her body, like a goddess that’s insanely insatiable as every action you do releases such beautiful moans that orchestrate such a symphony that would dive in to listen to please and satisfy you even more.
“Let it out, Yuna—I know how much you love my tongue licking and mouth kissing all over this beautiful waist.”
Of course, Yuna won’t bother to articulate such a response if your mouth and your tongue is making her wild and crazy. You really can’t comprehend how insanely irresistible she can be and you like it—you could only know limitless possibilities to praise her body as every inch isn’t ignored, lathered with either your saliva or peppered with kisses by your mouth. Having enough and becoming satisfied on worshiping the flexing protrusion of her abdominals muscles of her waist, you averted your attentions towards her milky, smooth armpits and her sharp collar bones but Yuna wants the best for you, so, she interrupted you with a proposition, hoping for you to agree.
“D-Daddy, I know y-you can’t stop but I can lay d-down on the bed upstairs so you can be more comfortable.”
You wouldn’t turn down on that, because you wanted the maximum comfort between both parties so, without wasting any time, the both of you went upstairs to continue such an endearing yet lustful act of fervor and love.
---
“Daddy—right there! Ohh—fuck, you’re so good—hah, oh god…”
You totally succumb to your temptations, licking onto the succulent-looking, smooth armpits as you voice out your satisfaction through hums between kisses and licks. Of course, you never left those perky breasts hanging and being unattended, as your hands fondle it with care, and aims to stimulate Yuna further and as well as her stiff buds that’s her ultimate kryptonite—it always brings her down to her knees whenever you stimulate her with it and you marvel with her response to your own doing. You continue to lather her pits with your drool as you salivate on it, and then alternating it with some kisses on her collar bones to express your gratitude on this opportunity and how much you love them, for the umpteenth time.
“You must l-love my p-pits, hm, daddy—oh fuck, t-that’s good!”
“I love every inch of your body, Yuna, but these smooth pits are something else.” Even if you didn’t bother to answer, she knows what could be your response as you continue your masterclass by peppering her impeccable features to the point of no-return. You’ve been kissing and she’s moaning for like ten minutes straight and you know you can’t just stop on a note with just worshiping her—even though that alone is such an ethereal sight and a thing you would do for hours—but rather, want to feel her now as the growing lust that’s causing arson because of its raging fire inside you is more than evident, the familiar tent onto your crotch is now painfully sticking out and it’s not that long before Yuna notices it.
“Oh, daddy!” Her hands course its way onto your clothed crotch as you slightly moaned in response to her retaliating actions. She lightly squeezes the growing member on your pants as you can see her eyes lit up in anticipation as she’s longing for this for a long while now. “I want this—I want to feel this, daddy. I want it—I want it—I want it!”
Of course, Yuna will beg until her legs give out, just to get what she wants and she won’t stop until it’s further fulfilled. She deserves it nonetheless, as always and knowing how tiring her schedules has been for the past week, it’s maybe a time for you to claim her paramount of all rewards that you gave her, and also, giving in to the temptations and your own animalistic urges as you stop kissing her and stood up, off the bed, stripping your clothing off your body as Yuna watches in delight—those glistening, round eyes watching your every move is such an arousing scene as her lip bites is the cherry on top, encouraging you to go faster.
Hurriedly, your clothing deemed useless, all down on the floor scattered and ignored as your rock-hard length greets Yuna and her eyes—those endearing eyes of hers sets off the lustful mood as she admires your hard cock, her hands enveloping the full girth of it would be the start of this steamy session.
“God—you’re so fucking hot too, daddy. This hard, girthy cock all for me—just for me, hihi~”
And she’s right. It’s all for her, as a grand gift for her hardwork and to let her own desires be fulfilled by you, with her. 
“Of course, baby—now, strip your pants off and lay down on your fours, is that clear, Yuna?”
She nods eagerly as she does what she’s been told to, unbuttoning her pants as she draws it down to her ankles, letting gravity do the work as the rest of her body unravels within a single second and making you fall under her spell. Her full body is now on display and you can’t believe how she looks unreal and built like a doll—it almost feels surreal even looking at it, let alone worshiping it with your mouth as you instantly drool over the sight of her tight, slender body. There’s still a single line of defense that she needs to take off: her black panties that served as a showstopper for so long has now been removed and thrown out to god knows where and with both bodies naked and her pussy now within your reach, you won’t going to waste any time about any foreplay.
Of course, you won’t just penetrate her with your whole, fully-erected length as it’s maybe too fast and you yourself, you wanted some time to tease her as you ate up your thoughts earlier—blame her godlike figure for wanting to appreciate it further rather than coursing your way onto the climax of a stupendous show. You kneel down onto the bed as you line your tip onto the emanating heat of her folds as it captivates you to plunge in fully but you fight and refrain from doing so, taking a look of admiration on her impeccable features to further fuel the fire of lust that has been igniting inside your heart since the start. You palm her supple buttcheeks as it compliments the curves of her body and her muscular back which serves such a sight to behold—you’ll literally spend hours murmuring how perfect she looks and you won’t get tired about it because it’s all the truth. As the cherry on top, you let your intrusive thoughts win as you harshly gave those inviting cheeks a slap in which, she loves as the moan that came out of her mouth is the reason—she definitely loves the spanks you give her in every steamy session that’s about to take place.
“Daddy—please put it in me already, please, daddy~ Ow—ohh, daddy~”
Of course, a vixen like her will invite you to fulfill her needs whenever possible. As much as you want to tease her even more, the animalistic urges inside you is further giving you up to the temptation and knowing how insatiable a hot girl like Yuna is, you can’t afford to refrain yourself onto your deserved treat even further as without any warning, you grip her hips as you plunge your whole length deep inside her, filling her up to the hilt. She’s incredibly tight and wet and your earlier stimulation probably helped a lot and every time you try and move your hips, the suffocating clenching of velvety walls ensues as you groan in pain and pleasure just because of it.
“God, Yuna—you’re so fucking tight! You’re probably tighter than what I expected—fuck! I swear, when you don’t get to feel my cock inside this tight, little cunt, it just goes crazily tight and this should be studied!”
“I d-don’t know daddy but—gahh, fuck, fuck, daddy—I’m j-just so—gahh—tight and w-wet around you.”
It’s nigh-impossible for her to articulate anything as your whole length is a bit of a struggle to take, considering that it can almost wreck her tight, little cunt open even with the faintest of thrust and of course, she’s obsessed with it. You start moving with a leisure pace and Yuna couldn’t contain the profanities as she lets it all out, voicing the peak pleasure she’s experiencing. Maybe, with the sight of her perfectly-sculpted back and waist, you’re going to get more aroused and erected that no one can top the serotonin you’re currently feeling—they’re not going to blame you for that, Yuna herself is at her own league and one hell of a woman. 
Thanks to the constant wetness of her pussy, it wasn’t a struggle finding the way to increase the pace as your hips maintain such a pleasurable oscillation that the both of you favor it. With this new profounded pace, she tightens the grip on the bed sheets as she clings on it for a leverage to fight the euphoric essence of sex as more angelic moans adds to the symphony of lust and your hips, immediately orchestrate such a wonderful tempo of hard thrusts. 
You’re bound to break her open because of how horny you’re feeling now, and give it absolutely everything just to reward both of yourselves to the promised land.
“Oh fuck, daddy—h-harder—pound my p-pussy harder, d-daddy—gahh, oh fuck—right there!!”
Now with Yuna burying her head onto the mattress, her ass raised up and your hand forming a makeshift ponytail for a leverage to further hammer her tight cunt like she deserves it, this new position achieves a greater penetration that it’s too heavenly to be true. You didn’t really care on how much she’s moaning or screaming thanks to the muffling she’s now making with the foam of the mattress acting as a soundproof tool to protect your ears—well, it’s everytime you fuck her senseless, she lets out such ear-screeching screams of pleasure and delight that it’s giving you a hint of a heart attack because the last thing you want to hear on your doorstep is a noise complain just because of Yuna. In every set of thrusts you do, you admire the perfection you’re ruining as the incoming disheveled sight of her is just putting you on a brain rot, the paramount of a brain haywire because of how arousing that thought is. 
It’s such an incredible feeling coursing down your veins as all you want to do is fuck her until her legs give out and end on a note whefe Yuna’s fully sullied by you, and on your warm embrace to end the night perfectly and you want achieve just that. Constant cries is being from her as her pussy streams down like a rivulet, knowing how she’s enjoying your wild pace as the clashing of both bodies reverberates such a sound that adds up to the ocean of lustful symphonies that’s going to be lost because on how many the both of you had composed already. Her dripping heat is still as tight even with your onslaught of thrusts and it’s just utter perfection as you love every second that’s happening right now. You alternate between giving her small, dirty talks, harsh spanks on her backside, nibbling and suckling onto her nape and fondling of her perky breasts in which, it stimulates her further into oblivion and in one point, it’s all going to break loose.
“D-Daddy—gahh—daddy…”
“Y-Yes, baby?”
Yuna raises her head a little as her arms supports herself and, she take seconds to articulate words as your pace is literally making her struggle to think straight, fucking her brains out like how she wanted it always. “I’m g-gonna cum—onto this c-cock—daddy I’m s-so—gahh—close!!”
You’re not going to make her suffer from her near success as given the situation, you double the efforts of stimulation onto her weak points as well as your thrusts and soon enough, her dam is about to collapse its walls, unleashing the labor of her own anticipated success. When she lets out a muffled scream, you know it’s all loose as you slow down your thrusts, giving her opportunity to let everything out as she drips down around your cock like a waterfall, every drop signifies her long-awaited orgasm as it stains the sheets—and god, you need another set of these after you’re done with her. You didn’t pull out but let her orgasmic trance pass through as every second was an entire blissful event that clouded her mind. After for like, twenty seconds of a world-rocking orgasm, she slowly recovers as she also wanted your own treasured prize.
“I k-know you wanna c-cum inside my perfect, little cunt—s-so please, daddy—gahh—cum inside me…”
You didn’t think of anything but the fact of chasing your own orgasm and knowing that Yuna herself wants your seed deep inside her says a lot about your conclusion. You’re pretty close on achieving your own high when Yuna came hard, and it wasn’t going to be a struggle on setting the fire onto the fuse as you gave yourself the hardest of thrusts your hips can muster and it’s not that long before you feel the familiar knot in your loins, stepping closer to your anticipated goal.
Yuna pleads in every thrust you do and it adds gasoline to the flames of lust and you love it. You can count up to ten and you’ll probably won’t past zero as you instantly set yourself onto your own blissful trance, letting out such profanities as you bury your cock deep inside her tight walls, filling her up to the brim as you shoot thick, warm shots of semen that is treasured truly by her and her tight pussy. Chasing your paramount of all highs, you ravage her cunt with your final, harsh thrusts as it finally subsides after a barrage of it and the both of you fell down limp as your exasperate bodies catch their own needed breaths, the session being too steamy as always as silence ensues for a while as both your ragged breaths builds up the faint noises that was once emanated by peak vulgarity and sin.
“God, daddy—that was—”
“Good, yeah, baby… That was goddamn good.” You face her onto your side as your sweaty bodies clash together again with your initiation of a torrid kiss, in which she eagerly reciprocates but not so long after, you pull out of her lips’ embrace as you voice out your satisfaction with the earlier steamy sex.
“You felt so good, Yuna—your body is just perfect—hah…”
“And y-you fucked me so well, daddy. You came a lot too—fuck, my legs—shit…”
“Oh no—shit, am I in trouble?” Panic sets in as you’re worried that you fucked her a little too hard yet Yuna reassures you, letting you know that it’s fine and she can still feel it but of course, pain is inevitable given your sets of hard thrusts that almost broke her.
“You sure, Yuna?”
“Yeah, daddy—we may clean up later but I wanna cuddle with you for now, hihi~”
“Come here, Yuna…” You initiated a warm embrace in which she indulges in as your bodies feel the utmost affection that no one can rival, and that’s just a wholesome moment between the both of you.
“But you can fuck my mouth later, daddy—ooh! Or my ass, if you want!”
And she’s cheerful again like nothing ever happened earlier.
God, this girl is freaky and that’s why you fucking adore her and you guess, the show just started between the both of you…
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struniolos · 5 months
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guitar lessons.
chapter two: meddle about.
(you can read chapter one here!)
synopsis: you decided to take guitar lessons from your boyfriend nate’s best friend, chris, while he’s away at college. but one night, things go too far. loosely based off the song sex by the 1975.
warnings: smut! minors do not interact.
“what did you yesterday baby?” nate’s voice hums through the phone, as you cuddle up into your bedsheets.
you rambled to him about everything, how you’d gone to buy a gingerbread house to make with your friends, how you bought a new coat, everything other than what was gnawing at you. chris. you tried your best to act as you usually did, but made an effort to bounce the questions back to him so you didn’t have to talk about yourself.
“so, when are you coming to visit me?” you said, biting your lips.
“i’ve got to study for finals next week, so i’m probably not for another two weeks.” nate told you, making your heart sink.
the less you saw him, the more you felt yourself drifting away from him. it was a gut wrenchingly awful feeling, guilt bubbling beneath the surface of your body. in everything you did, you felt it.
you sighed into the speaker. “i miss you.”
“i miss you too, baby.” nate told you. “well, i’ve got training in the morning so i should go, but we’ll talk soon. i love you.”
“i love you too.” you said quietly, holding your face in your hands.
as the phone call came to an end, you found yourself curled in a ball under the covers. it was almost 8pm, when you agreed to meet with chris. but your heart was telling you not to go, that this was an awful idea. because it was, you had just told your boyfriend how you loved him moments before meeting up with his best friend. you decided to message chris.
you: i’m not coming, i’m sorry.
he typed back instantly.
chris: why? we can just chill :(
you: it’s too cold. i just want to stay in bed.
you try and weasel your way out of the gate you’ve opened, to step back as if you weren’t the one also engaging in this.
chris: what if i came to pick you up?
you bit your lips, sighing.
you: fine.
about an hour later, you look out your bedroom window to see the familiar black van out the front of your house, it’s headlights illuminating the icy road thats caked in snow at the curb. you grab your hoodie and put on your slippers, sneaking down the staircase to not disturb your parents as they would know damn well it wasn’t nate.
you tiptoed your way out the front door, walking the snowy path towards the van. chris had already reached over to open the door for you, and you felt yourself getting flustered. you jumped into the van, closing the door firmly behind you and looking over at chris, his hair dark and loose, his silver necklace stark against his black crewneck.
“hey.” he smiled, putting the car into drive.
“hey.” you said shyly, biting your cheek. “so, where are we going?”
“you’ll see.” chris shrugged, with one the hand on the wheel and the other propped up against the window.
you felt an unbearable weight on your chest, something urging you to stop. to tell him to turn around and take you home. but there was something about him, something that you couldn’t fight. nate was the safe option, you knew that, but chris- chris was dangerous.
the radio was on quietly, the hum of the engine and icy roads filling your ears. you both didn’t speak for the rest of the drive, in complete silence within each other’s company. you wondered if chris was thinking about nate, or if he was selfishly wanting you all to himself.
eventually, you were parked at a lookout spot at the hilled part of the neighbourhood, looking out to the thousands of houses below only specks of yellow light against the darkness. you were shielded by woods, away from prying eyes.
chris parked the car, pulling the handbreak and leaning back in his chair. he looked over at you, his eyes dark.
“i don’t know what i’m doing, chris.” you said softly, breaking the silence. “i shouldn’t be here.”
“but you came.” he opposed, rubbing his face- his chain bracelet falling down his veined arm. you found yourself eyeing his fingers too, long and slender, the dimmed light carving out his features.
chris was the one to make the first move, shifting his hand to your thigh as he held eye contact with you. “why did you leave yesterday?”
“because it’s wrong and we shouldn’t be…i shouldn’t be doing this.” you said with pleading eyes.
chris continued rubbing your thigh. you don’t stop him. he leaned over to grab your face with his other hand, his finger tracing your warm cheek and lips, his thumb prying your mouth open.
“after you left, did you go home and touch yourself thinking about me?” he murmured, looking at you though hooded eyelids.
you hated how much you loved this, how much you revelled in his forbidden touch. you knew he wanted you to suck on his fingers but you didn’t, simply kissing the pad of his thumb. “no.”
“hmm.” he hummed, grabbing your cheeks with one hand, his fingers digging into your cheeks as he squeezed them together to pout your mouth. “i did.”
you clenched your thighs together, as he kissed you deep. you moaned into his mouth, as his tongue came to lick into yours. it was messy, all teeth and tongue. you never did this with nate, it was always so straightforward. you guessed this was why chris was so enticing- he was everything nate wasn’t.
“come over here.” he whispered, grabbing your hips to help you. he pushed the seat backwards to give you both more space, as you settled yourself on his lap, straddling him.
you rubbed your palms down his shirt, breathing heavily. “what happened to teaching me guitar?
“i’m teaching you something else.” he smirked, kissing you again, this time slower.
you pulled away briefly. “and what would that be?”
“how to feel good.” he flirted, kissing the corner of your mouth, his hands greedy as he squeezed your hips and groped your behind.
“my boyfriend makes me feel just fine.” you told him, trying to elicit a reaction.
but chris didn’t react, instead looking you directly in the eyes as he tilted his head as he dipped a hand below your sweatpants. “if he did, why did you come to me?”
your lips fall apart as he began to rub circles through your panties, your sensitive bundle of nerves pulsating at his touch. your lips found each other, tongues dancing and hot air spilling from your nose as your breathing picked up. he moved your underwear to the side, his fingers collecting your slick.
“i dreamed about this.” chris told you, as he began to push his ring finger inside your velvet walls.
“you did?” you breathed, bracing your hands on his shoulders.
he kissed your cheek sloppily. “mhm, about how good you’d feel.”
you moaned at the feeling of his finger fully seated inside you. fuck, it had been so long. chris pumped his finger in and out of you a few times before adding another, your vision blurring and body heating up.
“c’mon pretty girl.” he urged you, as his fingers curled and beckoned you towards your orgasm.
you moaned raggedly into his mouth, your hips starting to grind up and down. the feeling of his lips on yours, his hand on the small of your back guiding you as he fingered you deep sent you over the edge embarrassingly quickly. you moaned and squirmed in his lap, a complete mess. he coerced your release through small praises and kisses, holding you close to his chest. chris brought his fingers to his mouth to suck clean, locking eyes with you- it was lewd, but ridiculously hot.
“i want to be inside you.” chris confessed, his lips attaching to your neck to suck bruises into your skin.
“chris.” you protested, but he continued to assault your neck, his other hand coming to cup your ass, moulding it against his hand.
“i can take care of you better than him.” he uttered, now squeezing your breasts with both hands, kneading and palming them.
you felt your pussy flutter, your core coming in contact with his hardness. you ground down onto him, the friction euphoric. “show me.”
between kisses and whispers, chris assisted you in ridding yourself of your hoodie, and pulling your sweatpants off. he tossed them into the backseat, as well as tossing his crewneck and tshirt off and shimmying down his own sweatpants, so they sat at his thighs. you continued to grind yourself down on his hardness, both of you moaning and breathing heavily at the feeling.
you couldn’t do this to nate, this would completely change things. this would break you. you knew if you continued, that there was no going back. but it just felt so good.
chris kissed the valleys of your breasts, pulling your bra down so it hung at your hips, as he continued to suckle on each one, toying with the other with his free hand. you moaned heavily, the feeling of his warm mouth and breath on you too much. chris pulled away with a wet pop, leaving your nipples peaked and wet.
“i want you to spit on my cock before i fuck you.” he instructed, and you did as you were told.
you pulled down his boxers to let his weeping cock spring free, letting it slap against his stomach. you licked your lips, as you held it in your hands, the warm weight of it enough to send you over the edge. he was definitely bigger than nate, girthier too- you knew it was going to hurt. you spit on your hand, before coating it all over his cock like lube. chris threw his head back, groaning and bucking his hips up into your hand.
chris stopped you, placing his palm on your chest. he sat himself upright, as you hovered your hips above him. he pushed your soaked panties to the side once more, rubbing the red tip of his cock against your opening. you both indulged in the feeling, pushing your lips together and your breath mingling as one.
“want me to fuck you, pretty girl?” he growled.
“please.” you pleaded, feverishly kissing him.
“you think i can fuck you better than your boyfriend?” he dares, licking behind your ear and continuing to rub the tip of his cock against your wet folds.
you shudder, biting your lips to you conceal your answer as your pussy throbs. yes, you think to yourself.
chris grabs your hips, leaving crescent moons in your flesh from his nails as he guides you. you let out an embarrassing desperate moan as you sink yourself down onto him, seated perfectly in his lap. he’s only halfway in, and the stretch is much more than you’re used to. or maybe because it had been so long? was it because he was bigger than nate? your mind buzzed with thoughts. thoughts of your boyfriend. here you where, with his best friends dick inside of you- and it turned you on much more than you’d admit to yourself.
chris kissed you sloppily as he helped you seat yourself completely on him, your pussy swallowing him whole. you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him impossibly close. you felt so full, so content. you hadn’t felt this...ever.
without much time to adjust to his size, chris began thrusting his hips up into you, filling you to the hilt. you gasped and grappled onto him, anywhere you could, his hair, his shoulders, the car seat behind him. he was relentless.
“i’ve wanted to do this for months.” he whispered, grabbing a fist full of your hair and using it to pull your head back, giving him full access to your neck and chest.
all you could do was moan in response, as his hips snapped up into you at a reckless pace. he licked up your throat, and dipped his fingers into your mouth. you gagged on them, saliva dripping down your chin. it was filthy and messy and so fucking hot. you had never experienced anything like it.
“do i fuck you better than your boyfriend? huh?” he growled, as you began to meet his thrusts, desperately chasing your release.
“mhm” you muffled, his fingers dropping from your mouth.
“what was that?” he taunted, a devilish smile daunting over him.
you almost felt like you were going to split in half with the pace and force he was fucking into you. tears were almost pricking your eyes, everything just felt so good.
“yes, yes chris.” you cried, a blubbering mess as he grabbed your hips tighter to pound into you.
you grabbed his face with both hands, kissing him full of tongue and saliva. everything was becoming blurred, your thoughts of nate a distant memory as you felt your orgasm building in your stomach. your toes began to curl, your face contorting and a high pitched squeal -you didn’t know you were capable of- coming from within you.
“fuck oh my god!” you shuddered, your body beginning to convulse and shake around him, clutching onto his sweaty body tighter.
you felt your release come quicker than you’d have liked, with chris’ thrusts becoming more languid as he helped you ride out your high. his hair was stuck to his forehead, his cheeks and chest flushed red. his eyebrows knit together and lips parted as he followed close behind you, shooting his hot juices into you. you let your forehead fall to his shoulder, breathing heavily and your body shuddering.
you both sat for a while, catching your breath, with chris still deep inside you. you raised your head, looking at him with saddened eyes, pushing his hair from his face.
chris pouted at you, scrunching his nose. “what?”
“i cant believe we did that. that…that shouldn’t have happened.” you tell him softly, as the weight of the situation finally sunk in.
you had cheated on nate.
“he won’t know.” chris assured you, rubbing slow circles on your bare back.
you shook your head. “but what if he finds out.“
“he won’t.” chris said firmly, looking at you with a seriousness you weren’t used to. “same time tomorrow?”
you rubbed your forehead, looking at the man before you. he was gorgeous, all fucked out and blissful, lips kissed and hair mussed. how could you say no?
“okay.”
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sinkovia · 4 months
Text
Regretful bets
Simon Riley x Fem!Reader
Fluff with light angst
You gaze at the picture of your late parents, a bittersweet reminder of how far you've come. It's been alittle over a year since you joined the task force, and you can't help but feel a sense of pride wash over you. Although you didn't have your family anymore, you'd found a new one within the task force. In the rec room, a small celebration was underway, the team reveling in the success of their recent mission.
The guys decided to buy some drinks and engage in a game of pool. You sat on the couch, focused on some paperwork when Ghost took a seat next to you and handed you a drink.
"Supposed to be celebrating, love, not buried in paperwork," his words and close proximity making your heart flutter. You've held an interest in Ghost since you joined the task force, but you never tried to pursue it, believing he wasn't the type for relationships.
"I know, I just wanted to finish up, get it out of the way. These reports for the last mission have been kicking my ass." You took a sip of your drink.
"I can help you with it if you'd like."
You hesitated, surprised by his offer. "Oh no, it's okay. I know you have your own report to do."
Ghost leaned a bit closer to you, "I've already finished mine. I can teach you a thing or two about getting them done faster."
"Really? I mean, yeah, I'd appreciate that."
"Maybe we can meet over dinner?"
Your mind raced as you processed his words. Was this a friendly gesture or something more? "These files can't leave the base," you reminded him.
"Right, I forgot. Well, we can get dinner and then work on the report after. How does that sound, love?"
Your face heated up, and you stammered out a response, "That sounds good."
"It's a date then. I'll come get you tomorrow at 8." Ghost got up and left the rec room, leaving you in a state of utter disbelief. You rushed to your room and squeezed your pillow, excitement and anticipation swirling inside you.
Ghost took you to a cozy restaurant in town, and over dinner, you discovered his love for telling awful puns. Surprisingly, you found them funny, and the lighthearted atmosphere made the evening even more enjoyable. After your meal, you pulled him to a small traveling carnival nearby where you both played games and he won you a few plushies. As you made your way back to the base, you stood in front of your door.
"We never got to the report," you mentioned with a laugh.
"Maybe we can do them after lunch tomorrow?" Ghost was leaning against the doorframe, he was close, his arm casually resting on the frame above you. You smile as your eyes met his. Breath caught when he lifted his balaclava, leaning in to plant a sweet, soft kiss on your lips, his smile lingering as he pulled away.
"How does that sound, love?"
You smiled as you turned around to unlock your door, looking back for a moment. "I'll see you tomorrow at 4," you said, noticing the wide smile on his face before closing the door, leaving you to get ready for bed. You lay there, smiling, thinking about how sweet he was, nothing like you'd initially imagined. A week later, Ghost officially asked you out, and you had been dating since. A month in a half passed and you couldn't be happier.
You often stayed up late with him, soothing his insomnia, running your fingers through his hair until he fell asleep, making tea for him in the mornings. Many nights, you'd stay up together, talking until you saw the sunrise. You were always there for him. You were walking to price's office when you saw graves walking out of it. He smiled as he approached you.
"Sargeant I was just looking for you." you furrowed your brows a bit in confusion, why would graves be looking for you.
"Is everything okay sir?"
"Price tells me that you're one of his best shots with a sniper."
You blushed slightly, proud of Price's words. "He flatters me," a smile gracing your face.
Graves was quick to get to the point, "I want you to join my Shadow Company."
Your smile faded, and you hesitated, "What? I mean thank you for the offer sir but I can't. I'm part of 141. This is my home. I've built a family here."
Graves looked disappointed but still gave you a nod, placing his hand on your shoulder. "Well, the offer is still open if you change your mind. We leave tomorrow morning."
You and ghost just slept together for the first time since you started dating. You lay on his chest, tracing small circles on his chest while he combed his fingers through your hair. Your stomach grumbled, and you shifted your head to look at Ghost, who appeared lost in thought, staring at the ceiling.
"Hey, are you okay?"
Ghost's eyes met yours as he kissed your forehead. "I'm okay love, just hungry."
"Me too. Want to get some takeout for us?"
"Yeah, let me get dressed."
You grabbed one of Ghost's shirts, throwing it on as you watched him get dressed. He gave you a kiss before heading out. Your eyes go to his wallet on your night stand and you throw on a pair of sweats before running after him. Ghost was walking down the hallway when he bumped into Soap.
"Listen Johnny, about the bet-" Soap laughed, handing over the money from his wallet.
"Bloodly hell Ghost, you finally slept with her? You were cutting it close. You had a week left." Soap was still laughing when he glanced behind Ghost and cursed under his breath, quickly walking away. Ghost slowly turned around and furrowed his brows when he saw you.
"Fuck, Y/n, it's not what you think,"
"You were only with me for a bet?" Tears welled in your eyes as you looked up at him.
"Love, please let me explain." He took a step closer, but you stepped back.
"Don't call me that. Just answer the fucking question." Your voice trembled with anger and disbelief.
Ghost's eyes were desperate as he tried to explain, "No– I mean, yes, Johnny bet me 200 if I could sleep with you within two months, but I swear to you that—"
"200 dollars? That's what I was worth? Everything I did for you was worth throwing it all away for 200 dollars?" You threw his wallet at his chest.
"Y/n please, I love—"
"I hate you." Tears streamed down your face as you turned away. Ghost reached out to grab your hand, attempting to stop you from walking away.
"Don't fucking touch me. I don't ever want to see you again."
You walked away, and Ghost stood there, watching your retreating figure until you disappeared around the corner. His gaze fell to his wallet on the floor, and a polaroid of you two together slipped out. He picked it up, looking at your face, you were both in the middle of laughing when price had taken the picture. The realization of his mistake hit him like a truck.
"Fuck."
You began packing you things, throwing them all in your duffle bag. You picked up the small seal plushy that ghost had won for you on your first date. You leave it on the bed with all of the pictures you had of him next to it. You walk down the hallway and make your way over to graves temporary office. You gently knock before opening the door. You see him gathering some papes and his gaze meets yours. He sees the puffiness in your eyes.
"Is everything okay Y/n?"
"If your offer is still open I would like to join your company." Graves is thrown off by your eagerness as earlier today you had told him you couldnt. He didnt question it, he smiled and handed you patch.
"We leave in an hour." you nod and walk out of his office.
The weight of regret bore down on Ghost, a heavy burden he couldn't shake as he thought back on the time you had spent together. Somewhere along the line he stopped pretending. Somewhere along the line he had fallen in love with you. He should have told Soap the deal was off a long time ago, he should have never taken the bet in the first place. He made a promise to himself to talk to you tomorrow; he didn't want to approach you while you were still so angry.
But that night was sleepless for Ghost. The absence of your presence in his bed left it feeling colder...emptier. When morning arrived, he mustered the courage to approach your door, knocking gently. No answer. He knocked again, and still, you didn't respond. He called out your name, pleading, but the silence was deafening.
Concern gnawed at his insides and slowly he twisted the doorknob. His heart sank as the door opened fully, revealing your empty room. His eyes fell upon the plushie and polaroids on your bed.
No. No, no, no. He refused to believe you were gone.
Panicking, he rushed into Price's office without knocking. Price’s brows furrow in confusion as Ghost asked, "Where is she?"
"She didn't tell you? She joined Graves' shadow company. She left with them this morning."
Ghost slumped on Price's couch, feeling like his heart had been torn out. You had left the task force, the place you had worked so hard to be a part of, all because of him. Regret and guilt washed over him as he realized the enormity of his mistake. You made him happy, and you both could have had a happy life together. He sat there, wondering what might have been if he had only made different choices.
Two years later...
You were inside alejandros base when you heard graves yelling and gun shots in the garage. You made your way out and froze in your tracks when you saw Graves zip tying alejandros hands together.
What the fuck is happening?
A bullet whizzed past your face, grazing your cheek, leaving a stinging sensation in its wake. You turned to see Ghost pointing a gun at you from behind a vehicle. Time seemed to slow as your eyes locked onto his, a mix of surprise and recognition in his gaze. His eyes grew wide as they trailed over your face. For a moment, you both remained frozen in place. But before either of you could react, two shadows tackled Ghost, ziptying his hands behind his back. Your eyes never left him as they dragged him and Alejandro into the base
What. The. Fuck.
You walk up to Graves as he's calling for his men to chase after soap who ran away.
"Whats happening?" He smiled patting your shoulder.
"It's nothing, go back inside and make sure our shadows get them to their cells."
You turned around quickly walking towards Alejandro's cell block, you didn't know why graves betrayed the 141. You had just been working with them.
You had asked Graves if he could put you on comms as you didnt want to see them in person. Thankfully you never had to directly talk to Ghost. Two years had passed but the ache was still as present as ever. You watched as they threw Ghost into the cell, shutting it behind him. He was being treated in a manner that should have left you feeling satisfied, but instead, a sense of unease gnawed at you. You couldn't help but be bothered by the way they threw him in the cell. As the days passed, you found yourself unable to resist the urge to walk by his cell, day after day, a silent presence in his world.
What the hell were you doing?
You walked past his cell door when you heard Ghosts voice from the other side.
"Y/n."
You froze in your tracks, how the hell did he know it was you. The doors didn't have windows.
"How did you know?" there was a long pause before he spoke.
"I know the sound of your walk."
Your feet seemed to move of their own accord, taking you to the front of his door. Without a second thought, you unlocked it and stepped inside, closing the door behind you. His eyes were on you as you entered, and in those moments, you felt an overwhelming sense of longing. You tried your best to maintain a cold demeanor, but your eyes, you knew, were betraying you. In those lingering gazes, you both shared a deep longing, a silent acknowledgment of the feelings that still lingered between you.
"You're so beautiful."
"Did soap bet you 20 to say that?" his eyes went from yours to the ground as the words left your lips.
"Y/n I'm so sorry for what I did to you. I should have never taken the bet. You didn't deserve that."
"You broke my heart Ghost," your voice quivering with the weight of your emotions. "I...I loved you so much, and you didn't even care about me."
Ghost's eyes widen, and he stands up, walking toward you. You instinctively take a step back, and soon, you're backed up against the cell door. He reaches out and cups your face, his taller frame towering over you. You meet his intense gaze with tears in your eyes.
"I loved you so much, I still do," he confesses. Tears streaming down your face, your heartache and longing were laid bare for him to see.
"Liar." You choked out.
Ghost's voice wavered as he tried to explain, "I promise you, after I asked you out, I started to fall for you. I loved you, y/n, with my whole heart. My life was so dull, and I've suffered every day without you by my side since you left. My biggest regret was not telling Soap that the deal was off." You looked up at him, shaking your head as tears continued to fall. His words were filled with regret.
"Ever since you left, the only thing I could think about was the life that we could have had together. The life that slipped away because I was stupid." You buried your face in his chest, overwhelmed with emotion, as you sobbed in his arms. He held you tight, his hand running through your hair.
"I'm so sorry, love," he whispered, his voice heavy with regret.
You pushed your head back slightly to meet his eyes, your own voice trembling with emotion. Not even five minutes with him after two years being apart and you already caved into him.
"Promise me, Promise me that you'll spend the rest of your life making it up to me, and i'll get you out of here."
"Only if you promise to come with me." your brows furrowed and you opened your mouth but ghost cut you off.
"We can fake our deaths, we can get far away from all of this. I dont want to be in a line of work that could easily take you away from me. Two years was hard enough, I couldn't imagine a lifetime without you."
As his words sank in, your mind raced to comprehend his proposal. Ghost wanted to build a life with you, away from the world of shadow companies, the 141, and the constant danger of missions. It was a vision of a peaceful and quiet life, just the two of you in a tranquil home somewhere far away from the chaos you had known. A warm, heartfelt smile spread across your face, and without hesitation, you agreed.
"Okay."
You snuck him out of his cell and made your way over to alejandros, taking out a few shadows along the way. Alejandro nearly smashed your head into the wall but Ghost was quick to let him know that you were helping them escape. Together, you successfully made your way out of the base. Alejandro took the lead, guiding you along the safest route. Finally, you reached a safehouse, and he was about to call Rudy, when ghost stopped him fom making the call.
"We aren't going back." Alejandro looked at him a bit confused, his brows furrowing.
"What do you mean you're not going back?"
"When you see Price again, tell him we were K.I.A trying to get you out," The words hung in the air for a moment, and Alejandro's gaze shifted from Ghost to yours, where he noticed your radiant smile. It became clear to him what was happening, and he nodded in understanding, a smile forming on his own face.
"You can take one of my cars if you need it, I wish the both of you well and thank you for everything you have done for me." Ghost shook Alejandro's hand, and then he took yours, leading you toward his garage.
6 years later...
"Hey! Don't run with a fork; you're going to hurt yourself!" you call out to your 4-year-old child as he dashes around with the utensil. With your 1-year-old in your arms, you watch as Simon swoops in, lifting your 4-year-old off the ground and taking the fork away. You breathe a sigh of relief and smile as you see Simon playfully wrestle with him on the couch.
The both of you have come a long way in the six years since you both ran away and started a life together. Every day you thank yourself for going inside Simon's cell, as your heart swells with happiness at the beautiful family you've built together. He walks over taking the baby from your arms and lifting her up as she laughs. You smile as you watch his radiant smile as he looks up at his daughter. He cradles her in his arms as he leans down and kisses you.
"I love you." He says, and a wide smile graces your features.
"Did soap bet you to say that?."
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joekeeryswife · 5 months
Text
arranged marriage 2 - f.c
hello angels! oh my goodness thank you all so much for the love in the last chapter, i cannot express how grateful i am to all of you! Felix is 22 and reader is 20.
here is chapter 2 (there may only be 1 or two chapters left 😔) of my short series! here is y/ns ring, if you don’t like it you can change it, there is also going to be a link to a few dresses and again if you don’t like them you can change it!! there will probably be some mistakes so bare with me lol, enjoy reading🩰
taglist🩰 (add yourselves here): @hummusxx @lalademie @kikiandbella @anamiad00msday @saltburntt @livvy256 @gee72sstuff @edogiscool @real-lana-del-rey @cel3stel0v3r
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it had been almost three months since your engagement party and a lot had changed. you and Felix were not getting along at all. your parents had thought it was best if the two of you moved in together and it had been the worst decision they had ever made. all you would do was fight and argue.
today, luckily, your mum, Elspeth and Venetia had decided that it was best for you to start trying on wedding dresses which meant you wouldn’t have to see Felix. “how are things with you and Felix going?” Elspeth asked, the three of you were sat in the back of the car almost at the wedding dress shop.
“not good. all we do is fight, i’m seriously considering not following through with this marriage” you rolled your eyes at the mere thought of Felix. “he’s being a dick head. sorry about him y/n, it’s like he’s on his period” Venetia apologised for how her brother was acting.
“oh no y/n don’t think like that, it’s just nerves. the two of you are going to have a very extravagant wedding and he gets nervous with those sorts of things” Elspeth said as she ran a hand through her hair. “it will get better i promise” she finished, showing you a sweet smile.
“surely you’re excited to try some dresses on? you might even find the one today” your mum finally spoke up. she loved the idea of you in a lovely white ballgown, walking up the isle arm linked with your fathers.
she had been dreaming about you getting married for years. “i hope so. how do you know if it’s the right dress for you?” you questioned, both women had been married and been through this exact same experience as you.
“you just have a gut feeling. i mean with me i had two dresses. i had one for the ceremony and then one for the party, god i wish i could relieve my wedding. it was the happiest day of my life” Elspeth said and your mum hummed, agreeing with what she had said.
“you’ll know if it’s the right dress, don’t worry about that sweetheart” your mum grabbed ahold of your hand and squeezed it gently. you nodded, giving her hand a squeeze back. “oh look, we are here” Elspeth said as the driver pulled up outside a fancy wedding boutique. “well, here goes nothing”.
-♡-
“oh that dress is ravishing” you heard Elspeth say as you looked at yourself in the mirror. “it’s elegant, fits your body nicely, you look beautiful. what do you think?” she continued as she looked at the dress. this was the fourth dress you had tried on and you were beginning to think that this bridal shop didn’t have anything for you. “well, it’s a pretty dress. but i think it’s a little too plain” you mum agreed “it is a little too plain. very pretty but you need some sort of design on there” Venetia nodded her head, indicating that it was time to try on yet another dress.
you walked back to the changing room with the stylist and she helped you get into the next dress. this one was beautiful, it looked like a princess dress and that was something you loved. however, the dress was still plain. you walked out and stood in front of the three of them, their gasps were loud. “oh my goodness, this dress looks absolutely perfect on you y/n” Venetia said as her eyes trailed over the dress.
“y/n, you look so beautiful sweetheart” your mum said as she looked at you in awe. “i love it but it’s still plain, i want some sort of pattern on the fabric. i love the way the dress is and i would have picked it if it had a pattern” you said as your hands brushed over the dresses skirt. your bridal stylist Amy spoke up “you do look gorgeous in this dress style but i think i have one similar to this with a pattern. why don’t you go to the dressing room and i’ll bring it through?” you nodded, a smile appearing on your face.
you made your way to the dressing room filled with nerves and excitement. hearing that she had a dress similar to this made your heart beat fast. after a few minutes she came into the dressing room with the most perfect dress you’d ever seen. it was exactly what you wanted.
she helped you put the dress on and your heart fluttered, this was your dress. you walked back out your mums eyes filled with tears and both Elspeth and Venetia gasped, i’m awe of how beautiful you looked. “y/n i seriously have no words. you look so radiant and elegant, i am praying that you have picked this dress” your mum said, the dress was absolutely perfect.
“i can’t see any flaws in this dress, i think if i was to ever design my wedding dress this would be it” you turned to face the three of them, you’d never felt like this before. “that dress is just absolutely gorgeous. you look like a bride” although you were mad at Felix, you were excited to get married. not because you were marrying him but because you could party like no other in the most beautiful dress with your family and friends.
“i think my brother might fall in love with you when he sees you in this dress” Venetia somewhat joked, she knew her brother would at some point fall in love with you and this dress would make it 100x easier. “i think it’s time we buy this dress and go celebrate” Elspeth said which you all agreed too.
-♡-
you had been out all day and it was now 7 at night. you hadn’t heard from Felix at all and you were not looking forward to seeing him. you opened the door to your house. “Felix, are you home?” you called out but got no response. you walked round the house saw him sitting on the sofa watching the tv.
“hey” you spoke as you sat down on the sofa next to him, you put your bag next to you and sighed. it had been a long day and finally sitting down felt amazing. he ignored you, his eyes still fixated on the tv screen. “how’s your day been?” he shrugged at you and you sighed, rubbing your forehead in frustration. “we can’t live like this Felix. this is no life” you looked over at him.
“y/n, have you ever thought that maybe i don’t want to live here with you?” his tone didn’t shock you, he had been in a bad mood for weeks. “i’m sorry but this wasn’t my decision either. do you really think i want to live here when you’re in a bad mood all the time?” he was silent.
“maybe think that i’m trying to work this out for the sake of our parents and whatever this relationship is and you’re just throwing it back in my face” he stood up, his tall frame towering over you.
“y/n. this isn’t a relationship. we are being forced to marry each other” you stood up, you weren’t going to let him intimidate you. there was an uncomfortable distance between you both.
“what is your problem Felix? why is there such an issue with you marrying me. i get we don’t love each other but am i really that bad?” you hated to admit it but even though Felix had been awful to you, there was a part of you that was falling for him.
there was some days where he was okay and the two of you got along, having Felix be nice to you was what made you somewhat fall for him. “don’t try guilt trip me y/n. you hate me just as much as i hate you” he scoffed but you just shook your head.
“what? i have been nice to you since after that talk we had in the bathroom at the party. i’m sick of you blaming me for absolutely everything when i’m reality it’s you who is the problem. i don’t think you realise how you make me feel when you treat me like shit” you could feel yourself getting upset.
“don’t pretend like you really care. you never cared about how it made you feel before so what’s changed now?” you shook your head, embarrassed that you were even about to admit this.
“what do you think Felix?” he looked at your confused. “there has been some days where you’ve been so sweet and it’s hard for me to not catch feelings for you” his eyes widened and you looked down at the ground, way too embarrassed to even look at him.
you could feel your eyes welling up with tears of embarrassment and frustration at the fact you had just admitted to Felix, the one person you’d thought you’d hate for the rest of your life, that you had feelings for him. and you knew that he didn’t feel the same. you could tell by his energy when he was around you.
it was silent, it felt like an eternity waiting for him to say something. when you felt like you’d been standing there long enough you decided it was best for you to leave, you’d embarrassed yourself enough and you just wanted to be alone. you grabbed your bag and started walking away from Felix who was still trying to process everything you had just said.
“y/n wait, don’t leave” he noticed that you were heading for the front door and was quick to follow you. Felix was never good with expressing how he felt and spending this time with you, living with you, made him realise that he was falling for you and that scared him. he’d been in love once before and it ended horribly and he didn’t want the same thing to happen with you.
“i’m going to my parents house don’t follow me. i want to be alone” you continued walking and looked for your car keys in your bag, he could hear the waver in your voice as you tried your hardest to keep your tears at bay until you weee away from him.
Felix continued following you and when he was close enough he grabbed your arm and turned you to face him. in one quick motion Felix pressed his lips against yours. it took you by surprise, it was filled with passion and love.
you quickly kissed him back and dropped your bag on the floor. your arms found their way around his neck, pulling him in closer. you’d been in one relationship and had your fair share of kisses in the past but it was nothing like this.
he pulled away, both of you breathless “please don’t go. i’m sorry i upset you. i am just scared” his eyes looked deeply into yours and you felt your heart flutter. “i’m scared that one day you’re going to find someone better than me because let’s be honest we haven’t gotten along, well, ever” his cheeks flushed a bright shade of red as he confessed his feelings.
“at first i didn’t want to do this marriage but now, it’s all i can think about. i see us getting married, travelling together, having kids together and growing old together and i’ve never felt like this before” you couldn’t believe what you were hearing, Felix Catton the one boy who truly hated was confessing his feelings for you.
“do you think maybe we could start over and try make this work? not like we did the last time in the toilets” you semi-joked which made him smile, you hated to admit it but his smile was beautiful.
“come on, let’s go back inside it’s freezing out here” he said, pulling away from your hold but he grasped your hand and squeezed it softly. “i can’t believe you dropped your birkin bag for me” you picked it up and looked it over. “you’re lucky, it has no marks on it. looks as good as the day i bought it”
the two of you made your way back inside hand in hand, happy that you both finally expressed your feelings for one another. the only thing left was for the two of you to get married.
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nexysworld · 2 months
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Dead Dove, Content Entitlement, and Fandoms
There's been no end of posts clogging up popular fandom tags with arguments and opinions on dark content, dead dove, and related things. While I've seen some decent posts that go over media literacy and dark content, I personally feel like none fully encompass my entire feelings on this nor provide all the points that I feel are important.
I know people have strong feelings on this subject, and I'm not expecting to immediately change anyone's minds. But I hope maybe I can toss some food for thought out there, or provide further context from both a victim of SA as well as a content creator. This has been bothering me for a while now to the point where it has been making me no longer want to write or engage in fandoms on Tumblr, and so I needed to get this out there with my stance. I've also had people in my inbox stating that my dark content is somehow morally better than other writer's dark content. TW: Mentions of dark content including discussions of noncon/dubcon, harassment, SA, etc.
Addressing Common Points
If you write or consume [INSERT CONTENT], you're romanticizing and endorsing it and that makes you a bad person. Or, you're weird/wrong/gross for it. I see this brought up primarily with dubcon/noncon topics. It should go without saying, but fiction is fantasy, it's separate from real life. Adults who consume this type of content understand that these things are NOT ok in real life. But to take it a step further, I want to stress that having noncon fantasies is actually INCREDIBLY common. In studies regarding these fantasies, nearly 50% or more of people who participated admitted to having fantasies that align with these topics the majority of which are women. Not only that but these kinds of fantasies are even more common in people who have been victims of these crimes. This isn't some niche thing only liked by a minority of people. If you don't believe me here's an example of ONE study, but there's plenty of easily accessible information out there. By conflating consuming/writing this content with someone's moral character stigmatizes these feelings further and does more harm than good. And I know what you're thinking though. But why? Why would someone who's gone through something like that fantasize about something so awful? Why is this appealing to anyone, victims or not? Fiction creates a safe space to explore topics. In fiction there are no real victims, no one is actually getting hurt, it's all fake. The characters aren't real and if at any point as the reader you are too uncomfortable to continue, you can stop and exit. You can like the idea of a fictional person tossing you around, while also feeling uncomfortable if a real life man tried to pick you up a the bar or didn't take no for an answer. There's also "normal" things you can fantasize about, but not want to participate in IRL.
Hypocrisy and what is considered dark content? This won't apply to everyone, but I've seen a number of people who claim to be anti-dark content but reblog things that are non consensual, perhaps without realizing it. And this is especially true for those who are younger on here. Please understand that noncon/dubcon does not inherently need to be violent or gory. Any situation in which there's a lack of consent or a power imbalance is inappropriate. Somno fics? If it's not explicitly stated that it was agreed upon prior in the fic, that is still non consensual even if it's written to be "sweet.", even if it's a pre-established relationship. Professor x student fics? There's power imbalance there. There's a reason you cannot have a relationship with your teachers in real life. Hybrid fics? Most people write hybrids as completely sentient people who are treated as sex slaves. They have little choice or are "following instinct." You cannot consent to someone who literally OWNS you after adopting you. You get the gist. There's far more to consent than physically manhandling someone. Yet because these things are written in a way that contextualizes them as being "sweet" and "normal", they aren't considered dark content by many people. If you're ok with the above, you have to understand that these ARE forms of dubcon/noncon. I would even argue that these are more romanticizing of these topics than stuff that's far more explicit in nature. If you would be pissed if your IRL partner tried to feel you up in your sleep, but enjoy somno fics, or enjoy the Taboo of Professor Leon, but wouldn't fuck your actual college professor - then that is the EXACT way in which people who enjoy even "darker" content can enjoy the fiction whilst not partaking in real life.
It sets a bad example for younger people on the website/"protect the children." Children shouldn't be looking at smut in general, dark content, vanilla content, etc. I don't know what else to tell you. It is NOT the job of content creators to try and police what teenagers do on the internet, that's between them and their parents. The majority of creators who make 18+ content explicitly state MDNI and block those younger than 18 if we discover them trying to interact with us. That is the most that we can and should be expected to do.
[INSERT CHARACTER] would NEVER act like that, it irritates me when people write them as OOC. Fanfiction is by definition NON canon. The only people who truly know how a character is supposed to act are the people who created those characters. But I want to add on to this, there are plenty of times in which a character acts entirely OOC even in fluffy or vanilla fanfiction. Every writer is going to have a different interpretation of how a character acts or thinks - and yet it's only really complained about when it's dark content. These characters are not real. Leon cannot be upset or hurt by people writing dark content about him, because he doesn't exist. Part of the fun of fanfiction, at least in my opinion as well, is justifying certain things within the context. Many dark content writers will and do explain why the character became how they are or why they think that way using canon as context - not that I think it's required because fanfiction can be whatever you want it to. The point is, dark content or not, not everyone will be on the same wavelength as you about your favorite character.
Even if you're a victim of SA or other crimes, you should get professional help, not read dark content. This is a very bad take in my opinion. Mental health care can be incredibly hard to get. Reading fanfiction is free, it's harmless. But genuinely, imagine you're a victim of a heinous crime, and you're already struggling with feelings regarding it - to then be mobbed by people online telling you that you're weird and wrong for having the feelings that you do? This is also in league with my first point, but having these feelings are actually VERY normal. This is a healthy way to process the emotions in a safe environment where no real person gets hurt, where you can leave whenever you want. Stigmatizing these things does hurt real people though.
You're hurting other people who're victims of these things. Look, if a fic is not properly TW then I fully understand. Every victim will have a different experience, and while some may be ok with dark content, others won't. So if you open a fic expecting it to be one thing and it's another, that's shitty. But tags are there for a reason. If you see something marked Noncon, and that's triggering for you, no one is expecting you to read it. And here's the thing with tags/tw's as well, everyone's trauma is different. Something that one person might not consider dark content, or is generally considered innocuous might trigger someone else. If you are one of those people who think even seeing the trigger warning could be harmful to people, then that's a prime example of WHY you must curate your own experience online. Block certain words, tags, and phrases to make sure you don't see them. But that's on YOU to do, not people who create content. Their only responsibility is to warn you about the contents of the content they've made, their responsibility stops beyond that point. You know what DOES affect real people besides the stigmatization of their feelings or kinks? Harassing them. Leaving hate comments, telling people to unalive themselves. These affect the mental health of the real people behind the content that you don't like. I've seen death and rape threats SENT to dark content writers.
Dark content in other forms of media. It's interesting to me that the majority of discussion around dark content comes from people criticizing fanfiction specifically. Take horror movies for example. The Saw Franchise, we'll say. Do you think the creators of that series want to enact those horrible things onto other people? Do you think they want to be the victims of Jigsaw themselves? What about people who watch content like that? You probably don't think that they do. There's TONS of movies, music videos, even horror novels that have incredibly, and I mean INCREDIBLY dark dead dove content - and yet most people understand that the appeal is in the taboo. That it's fiction. That people who consume THOSE forms of media don't want to participate in those things but do enjoy consuming that content. But when it's fanfiction it somehow becomes a problem.
Entitlement and demand of fandom content. In addition to all of the above, there is a major uptick in people complaining about the content within fandoms some not even relating to dark content. "There's too many stories where reader acts like X." "I hate how so many people characterize this person because that's now how they would act!" "Why is there so much smut? Why can't there be more of {insert what I want}". This is FREE content made by people who do this stuff as a hobby. No one owes you content, and no one HAS to write the way you want them too. If there's tons of content like that, then it's because it's popular. Perhaps your version of a character is in the minority opinion, and that's completely ok!
What's the solution to all of this discourse?
Be the change you want to see! If you feel like there's too many x reader fics where the reader doesn't act how you want - then write it the way you want. Do you have head canons about a series or character that you haven't seen discussed before? Make that post yourself! If you don't feel there's enough fluff in the fandom - then create some! And if you don't want to make content yourself - request it, commission it. Interact with your favorite writers! Encourage them, don't demand. Talk with them about their work, leave comments, and reblog, reblog, reblog!! Being a part of the discussion and interaction is the BEST way to help the community thrive. Surround yourself with the content that YOU want, curate YOUR experience. Block every dark content writer you see if it helps. Go into your Tumblr settings, block words, block tags. Don't set yourself up to be upset or bothered by the content you're getting. Even if you read the above and you still think every dark content writer is a horrendous, awful person - the best thing to do is still block them. Block their content. Harassing them and complaining on it will NOT stop that content from existing. But you will continue to upset yourself by not curating your own experience.
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If you made it through all that, thank you for reading. I want to add that my blog WILL continue in the future to have a mix of both dead dove and regular content. I also interact with other dark content blogs, so if you're someone who followed me because of my "regular" fics and want to unfollow/block me, I'm ok with that. <3
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heartsforhavik · 5 months
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yandere tomas vrbada x reader hcs
warnings: stalking, tomas is kinda disgusting and creepy here, regular yandere tendencies, some implied nsfw but not smut
summary: hcs of yandere smoke x (gender neutral) reader
a/n: he’s yandere in this story he’s supposed to be ooc btw. usually i dislike when people make smoke submissive and stuff but i get it now. anyways this was fun to write :3 i love you all go drink some water
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tomas could not get enough of you. just being in the same room as you makes his heart beat rapidly. your scent was addicting like a drug, you always looked breathtaking, and you also looked so cute while you slept!
in fact, one of tomas's favorite hobbies is watching you sleep. it's not creepy, because your window isn't locked! he's just inviting himself in. he loves grazing his fingers over your skin, your sweet delicate skin, and he almost feels as if it's sinful. as if he doesn't deserve to be in the same room as you. as if he doesn't deserve to breathe the same air as you.
his heart jumps out his throat every time you speak to him. even the smallest conversations mean a lot to him, and he'll go to bed that night thinking about it, completely overthinking anything he said to you.
"hey tomas!" you greeted, walking by him.
"oh, uh, h-hey!" tomas stammered.
that's it. that was the whole conversation. and yet he went to sleep that night wanting to skin himself alive for stammering. he thought he was such a fool for not engaging enough with you. maybe if he spoke to you more, you'd pay more attention to him.
he needed your attention. he needed your validation.
even if it was negative. he just needed you to look at him.
if you looked at him in awe, he'd explode into a million pieces. if you looked at him with disgust, he'd have to excuse himself to take care of something in the nearest restroom.
tomas was also a bit of a.. hoarder. every object you have ever touched and left behind, he picked up and kept it. he tries not to pick those objects up with his bare hands, scared that he would ruin it.
that also means he sometimes takes some clothes of yours. only the ones you don't wear often, of course! he would never be an inconvenience to you and steal your favorites. he knows which are your favorites and which ones aren't.
tomas likes to sleep with your clothes right next to him. breathing in your scent as he falls asleep is a euphoric feeling to him. his heart shatters every time they lose your scent, but he keeps it anyway just because it used to belong to you. but no worries, he'll return it once you two are married!
he finds it very tempting to profess his love to you- but he knows you ultimately wouldn't accept his affections yet. he needs to wait. unfortunately, he is far too shy to even speak to you often.
sure, you both got along and you spoke at least once a day, but it wasn't enough for him. he needs to glue himself to your side in order to truly feel satisfied. for now he can handle just being in the same room once a day, but he dreams of someday being yours. someday he can be by your side. if you don't want him by your side and you only want him as a servant or something, he will gladly accept that too! whatever it takes to please you. he will follow you around like a lost puppy if he has to.
once you start dating and end up married, tomas would prefer that you didn't have a job, especially if it has to do with kombat. he would hate for you to constantly be around danger. besides, he can do all the work for you! he wants you to let him pamper you and treat you the way you deserve to be treated. he can leave every morning and continue his work in the shirai ryu, then come home to you! that's his ideal future.
he knows he often puts himself in danger as well. he knows his job isn't easy, and he puts his life at risk every day. but you keep him going. the thought of your future with him keeps him going every day. it is his motivation to survive every battle he engages in.
tomas just loves you very much! he loves you so much it drives him crazy that he can't embrace you. but someday... someday he can. someday he will be able to touch you, love you, protect you. he can't wait for that day to come. for now, he is content with savoring your scent and touch everywhere you go, staring at you from afar, and yearning for your touch. but once he finally gains the courage to get closer to you and confess to you, you will be with him. you *will* be together.
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its-time-to-write · 11 months
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masterlist
i figured it was time to make one. it's in order based on when i wrote it. please, please let me know if a link is broken/mislabeled!!
*81 fics*
All of these are Jamie Tartt x reader
dress
Jamie and Keeley buy you a dress for the benefit gala
three times 'cause i've waited my whole life
secret relationship to engagement
you're losing me
first kid
don't make this any harder
Jamie wants to take you to Brazil, you’re both idiots
would hit him in a heartbeat now
Your ex boyfriend is a footballer and also a douche
silent sleepers
Jamie contemplates your relationship on the team bus
what it is
Jamie is sick ft. Roy
don't go wasting your emotion
Secret relationship + you own a bookshop! Ft. Roy and Keeley
you know, you'll always know me
You’re a famous singer! Congrats!
i don't know how you keep smiling/i'm just choking almost constantly
Jamie’s dad is a douche
i'll still be right next to you my dear
Jamie is a dad
can't really say i'm enjoying it now
Yikes it’s a breakup fic, but happy endings only in this house
mine of you with me
Reader and Jamie go semi-public with their relationship
today's a day like any other
The Tartt family thru the years
there's orange juice in the kitchen
Oof ouch period cramps
i can't breathe without you
Nate kisses you w/o consent
damned if i do give a damn what people say
You’re a theater actress! How exciting!
island made of faith
People think Jamie’s dumb, and he’s not
take your time while you're mine
You’re Roy’s other sister ft. all the Kents
honey, i'll give you all my time
Vienna. Enough said.
feeling fragile can't you tell
Jamie gets hurt
wrote all your lines in the script in my mind
Oh no! Some girl kissed Jamie and it wasn’t you! + Colin as the bff
stick together like glitter
Babysitting Phoebe + angst
your mind is not your friend
Angst + comfort after you have a bad hookup
chasing shadows in a grocery line
You’re pretty sure you have a hot stalker
don’t go yet
Tee hee protective Jamie at a club
kicking myself to keep from crying
The morning after your mind is not your friend
i think we could do it if we tried
High school sweethearts reunited after 6 years🥺
i’m glad you exist
You and Jamie go to a wedding
send for me
BREAKING: shit day at work made better by local boyfriend
tell me where to put my love
day off = food + snuggles
bored
The longest angst I’ve ever written. Def not the best angst I’ve ever written.
would it be enough if i never gave you peace
you’ve got baby fever and your pretty sure it’s going to kill your brother
wishing on every one
You own a flower shop. It’s adorable.
lyrical eyes, indigo smile
Bea meets the team for the first time!
something to rely on
You storm the pitch and smooch your bf
flipped the script
Enemies to lovers slow burn (or maybe fast burn, idk)
i fancy you
London Boy by ms. T. Swift
you don’t want to know me
Jamie shows up at your door after s.1 Man City
you’re in the kitchen humming
Post-Mom City
family that i chose
For the child-free girlies!
never wanted you to hate me
Pt. 2 of you don’t want to know me
wonderstruck
BFF Keeley tells you to give her awful ex a chance
in love with an idea
idk it’s like a confession of love? kinda cute
sinking into your worn-out mattress
Touch-deprived therapist! reader
you’re a mansion with a view
just two footballers doing an England promo, nothing to see here
i know what i’m doing
Post-Roy/Jamie locker room hug after Man City
wonder what it’d be like
Jamie tries to win you back
if only love were true
You’re a single mom in dire need of a plus-one
i know now it’ll pass
It’s hard to love someone when you’ve been told you don’t deserve it
the way it goes
The Greyhounds are protective of Jamie
how to love being alive
Idk this one’s like whatever and also supes long
there is happiness
GEORGIE GEORGIE GEORGIE
it’s just wanderlust
Relationship soft launch
glitter on the floor
You like to knit. You also think you’re a comedian.
maybe tomorrow you’ll know
The “he’s a prick to everyone but her” trope
hustling for the good life
I swear this is my last chaptered fic
let’s fall in love for the night
Kent!reader is having a baby
soft hands hit the jagged ground
friends w/benefits
for you, there’ll be no more crying
anxiety at work + bf jamie
smile at me
there was only one bed!!!!
slow motion double vision in rose blush
happy b-day Jamie Tartt
half-moon eyes
it’s just a question!
can’t hear my thoughts (i cannot hear my thoughts)
I’m allowed to write what i want, ok???
here in my arms
more Kent!reader + a baby named George
coffee at midnight
prick coach wakes you up bc of your prick boyfriend
healing me fine
Just a lil engagement fic for ya
i don’t know anything
if you’re interested in Bea
right words at the right time
It’s a wedding fic
move fast and keep quiet
boxer!reader + smitten Jamie
not saying you’re in love with me
You meet over Bantr!!!
we could be so good
Jamie comforts you after a bad date
i hold it like a grudge
i don’t even know how to describe this one but u might cry
there for you
sick fic
before you go
physio!reader
you’ll probably date her
chronic illness + childhood friends. gotta love it
feel it burn
Gym anxiety
play it back
Old movies of bb Jamie
ours
Thanksgivinggggg
light in the hallway
MORE Kent!reader
stuck by you
Bad family + good Jamie = fic
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proposalanonaita · 2 months
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FINE.
The date is fast approaching (seven and a half weeks left), I've had sufficient quantities of Malbec, and I'm realizing that whoever suggested that writing my vows would be MUCH more harrowing than talking about my feelings to internet nobodies.....had a fair point; I should at least attempt to put it all to words before I write the real drafts.
Ugh.
I should probably start by stating that I'm WELL aware of who I am. Rest assured, I know that I'm stunningly abrasive. And controlling. And petty, conniving, misanthropic, or whatever other adjectives you've been calling me in the tags (yes, I DID read those, and it IS weird of so many of you to be calling for my divorce. I thought you were supposed to be nicer than I am?).
All this to say, I've always been cognizant of being an acquired taste. Partly because I've always BEEN an acquired taste. I tone it down in public, and in most of my personal relationships, but I am, down to my core, a Mean Mother Fucker.
With partners before my fiancé, I had to make myself more palatable to stay together. The men I dated were FAR too nice, and snipping with them at all felt like I was a heavyweight champion facing off against a toddler. So I reigned it in. It worked, but no matter how well things were going on paper, I didn't feel like I was myself with any of them.
I was even less myself with The Shithead. I'm NOT getting into the entirety of that particular tire fire here, you little freaks already know FAR too much about me and I won't have you tagging the gory details of the worst part of my life with #bob the builder/fuzzy wuzzy or whatever you're into.
He was horrible to me, I turned dangerously timid, I'm lucky I had enough Mean left in me to get the fuck out. He's changed enough by now that I considered inviting him to the wedding, it was bad enough back then I'm very glad I didn't. Enough said.
...I'm talking quite a bit up here because I still hate having to say any of the next part. Call me an emotionless villain for that if you want to, I am far too employed and 30 to care very much.
Ugh, ugh, ugh.
So.
The thing is, there are people that KNOW me, and there are people who LIKE me. My parents know me, and I've never doubted they love me, but that's not LIKING me as a person. That's a contractual obligation of birthing me. My friends like me, some even like me when I'm catty, but I need to be careful to hold myself back, at the risk of losing them. At best, people loved "me", not ME.
For decades, this was just the way the world was. It was a fact of life- The sky is blue, I'm secretly unlovable, the Earth goes around the sun.
And then, against all odds, I found my fiancé, who manages to do both.
He sees ALL of me. Every square inch, every fleeting thought, every horrible little quirk of my rotten personality. And THEN, as if that weren't bad enough, he turns around and ENJOYS it all. He's not just tolerant of my least palatable traits, he's delighted. The more I show him, the more he likes.
It's awful. I'd say he stole my heart, but that sounds too pleasant. It's more like my heart is a cockroach he could squish at any moment, and I trust him not to, and I'm just supposed to wake up every morning and do the dishes and go to work as if this doesn't mean we're clearly orbiting Saturn. The sky is PURPLE now. What the fuck.
He could at least do me the favor of being completely, 100% perfect, because then I could blame his total lapse in judgement on that, but NO. He's a BASTARD.
I'm engaged to a big sweaty idiot who annoys me on purpose. He's terrible with his money. He tries to take me on HIKES, and JOGS, and CAMPING TRIPS. His taste in every single art form known to man is GARBAGE, he's constantly leaving his dirty socks on the floor, and he's such a bad driver I'm amazed he still has a license.
I've told him all of that to his face, and I've MEANT it, and he's just called me a bitch and asked me what I want for dinner. He knows that I'm unlovable, agrees that all those parts of me are in here, and then loves me anyway.
He loves me. He LOVES me. He loves ME.
I don't know what I'm meant to do with it all, but there's clearly SOMETHING wrong with his brain, so I guess I'll have to keep him, if only for his sake.
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oxyvouge · 9 months
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ੈ never have i ever kissed you. ✩‧₊˚
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summary: wherein you, the marauders, lily, marlene and regulus played the muggle game "Never Have I Ever."
━━ ✦ pairing(s): marauders, lily, marlene and regulus x fem! reader
━━ ✦ warning: kissing
━━ ✦ word count: 1.3k
author's note: lets just pretend they have a high tolerance or theyre a lil affected by it cuz i forgot to write it down there 😭. btw sirius and reggie r on good terms here and also — ITS DANE DEEHAN'S PETER AND I CANNOT NOT ADD HIM WHEN HE'S HOT 😭😭😭😭
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THE MARAUDERS, a few other friends, and you gathered in the common room, forming a circle for a muggle game Lily called "Never Have I Ever." The concept piqued your interest; it was something entirely new to you and sounded like you would have a good time especially when you heard how the game works.
But before that you, Sirius, Peter, and Lily went to the kitchens to take some snacks, glasses, and a few bottles of firewhisky for this and went back to the common room where the others were waiting and circled.
Lily initiated the round, her eyes scanning each person in the circle. "Never have I ever," she began, a mischievous glint in her eyes, "tasted the poop flavor in Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans." Laughter erupted as James, Remus, and a few others reached for the firewhisky and took a drink. Sirius and you couldn't help but burst into laughter too, sympathizing with their unfortunate experiences.
"It was bloody awful! Feels like I was gobbling up Pads' poop by mistake." James wrinkled his nose, wincing as the firewhisky blazed its way down his throat. Sirius burst into laughter, but his chuckles abruptly halted as James' comment hit his ears and you choked on your saliva. With a flushed face, Sirius playfully smacked James on the back, eliciting a groan from him. "Fuck."
The empty glasses clinked as they were refilled, the game continuing with fervor. Seated next to Lily, Marlene was thinking of what to ask. "Never have I ever lost my chocolate frog and found it in front of a teacher." Peter drank his firewhisky.
"I remember this!" You exclaimed with a chuckle, clutching a treacle tart. "Peter lost his chocolate frog while going inside the castle from Hogsmeade and tried to go after it only for it to end up in Professor McGonagall's palms. Then, she gave it to Peter and Peter ate it after brushing the dirt away."
Remus took his turn, a playful glint in his eyes. "Never have I ever been caught by Filch while out of bed after curfew." The Marauders, excluding Remus and including you, raised their glasses to their lips, taking hearty swigs of firewhisky.
Lily's eyebrows arched curiously, her gaze shifting toward you. "Even you, Y/N?" You shrugged with a sheepish grin, caught in the act. "What were you up to?"
You intended to avoid the question, but Marlene piped up, unable to resist the urge to share, "Oh, it's either she's setting up pranks with them," She gestured towards the infamous Black and Potter duo, who responded with knowing smirks, "Or she's engaged in some secret snogging rendezvous with Black."
"Which Black are we talking about here?" You countered mischievously, casting an amused glance at both brothers.
"Both," Marlene replied with an air of nonchalance, earning a round of chuckles from the group, a coughing Regulus, and a shock i-don't-know-what-to-say-i-feel-betrayed Sirius.
The blonde female had frequently stumbled upon them in rather compromising situations. On various occasions, it happened to be you and Regulus emerging from a cupboard, catching Marlene on her way to class. The sight of you and the younger boy with tousled hair, swollen lips, and flushed cheeks was hard to miss. Marlene also vividly remembered the time she stumbled upon you and Sirius, who were well on their way to shagging, both only partially clothed and entangled on the bed. Fortunately — for Marlene's case — she barged in before all the rest of their garments were thrown on the floor and preventing further embarrassment.
Honestly, who could really blame her? It wasn't her decision to conduct such activities within a shared dorm room, where other roommates also resided.
Marlene's cheeks heated as memories replayed in her mind. She shook her head, murmuring, "It's a traumatic experience."
Seated between you and Remus, Sirius wore a knowing smirk, mischief glinting in his eyes. Your heart fluttered as you felt a tinge of nervousness, his transparent mischievousness making you uneasy. "Never…" He began, his words causing a slight stumble in your breath as he continued, "have I ever kissed Y/N." Once more, you found yourself momentarily taken aback, a surprised reaction escaping you.
Sirius' gaze swept across the group, his smirk growing as he met each person's eyes, enjoying their reactions. With a feeling of delightfulness, he snatched the bottle of firewhisky and took a victorious swig. Nearby, Regulus raised an eyebrow, his amusement detached yet evident, as he took a casual sip of his own firewhisky. "Just u—" He began, his sentence left hanging in the air, a smirk curving his lips.
Lily roll her eyes and playfully retort, "Trying to embarrass everyone now, are we? Well, I can't say I'm surprised. Cheers to your boldness, I suppose." She then took a sip of her firewhisky, shaking her head with a mix of amusement and annoyance at Sirius' antics.
"Wait a second — everyone?" Sirius exclaimed, his tone a mix of disbelief and amusement. Marlene couldn't contain herself and erupted into laughter, finding the situation utterly comical. With a gleeful grin, she grabbed the firewhisky and took a big gulp. "Even McKinnon? Seriously, Y/N, how did you do it?" Sirius continued, his smirk growing wider.
Observing the scene, Remus couldn't help but roll his eyes playfully, his expression a blend of exasperation and fondness. He reached for his firewhisky and took a measured sip, his gaze briefly locking with yours.
You nonchalantly replied. "She was asking me to teach her how to kiss — who am I to refuse?" Peter let out a nervous chuckle and take a small sip of firewhisky.
As Sirius noticed the sip Peter took, his eyebrows arched mischievously. He glanced at you and exchanged an amused look with Lily. Lily, her curiosity piqued, raised an eyebrow and inquired, "Even Peter?" Her surprise was evident, the corners of her lips twitching in a mixture of astonishment and amusement.
All eyes turned to James, who met their gaze with an intrigued quirk of his eyebrow. His gaze then shifted to you, his lips curling into a mischievous grin as he leaned back in his chair. "Looks like I've fallen a bit behind, haven't I?" he mused, a glint of determination lighting up his eyes.
In a flash, he rose from his seat, a confident swagger in his step as he dropped down to one knee in front of you. His presence felt magnetic as he leaned closer, his hand gently cupping your cheek, and before you could fully process the moment, his lips met yours in a quick, playful kiss.
The room was filled with a collective gasp as all eyes turned to both of you as James pulled back, a triumphant smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. James then took the bottle of firewhisky from Sirius and chugged the remaining liquid down.
A mixture of shock, amusement, and admiration swept across their faces. Lily's jaw dropped slightly and twitching into an amused smile. Remus's eyebrows shot up, his usual composed demeanor momentarily replaced by astonishment. Sirius's playful grin widened into genuine surprise, and even Peter seemed momentarily stunned, his mouth hanging open. Marlene let out an excited whoop, her surprise quickly turning into enthusiastic cheers. Regulus raised an eyebrow, a subtle flicker of being taken aback swept across his features.
James' smirk softened into a warm grin as he glanced at you, his eyes locking onto yours for a heartbeat before he turned back to the others. "Honestly, Prongs." You stated recovering from your surprised state with a fond smile tugging on your lips.
A mischievous glint danced in Marlene's eyes as she playfully nudged Sirius with her elbow. "Seems like you're not the only one stealing the show tonight, Black."
A warm chuckle rumbled from Remus as he shook his head, a genuine fondness reflecting in his gaze. "You've outdone yourself, Prongs."
Even Regulus's typically stoic expression softened, a subtle twitch at the corner of his mouth betraying his amusement. "Quite the move," he conceded.
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you can make a request here where you'll be guided by the guidelines and check out the masterlist.
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lumosinlove · 3 months
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Vaincre
June part iv
I’ll tell you the truth
But never goodbye
Remus thought about practice and all the sounds he wouldn’t be hearing again for a couple of months now. A din he desperately hoped would come again in the Fall.
The quiet bustle of the boys arriving. Yawns and some early morning groans. Bags being tossed down into stalls. Velcro and stick tape. The skate sharpener across the hall. The shivery sound of a bucket of pucks being scattered onto the ice. The slap of pucks and bodies on the boards rebounding in a high-roofed, empty rink. The ping of the goalposts. Bursts of laughter between drills. Showers stuttering into a hard, hot spray and the echo of voices off of tiles.
He wanted it all again. The crowds and video tape sessions. The signings and the chance to meet fans. The wins—even the losses. Even the press conferences. He wanted to see his best friends every day. He wanted to win.
They didn’t have a destination, but neither Remus nor Sirius tried to change that. They walked through the New York streets, downtown, where everything felt a little bit like a movie set. Most places were shut tight for the night, but it still felt alive.
Sirius looked handsome in the city lights. In his jeans and t-shirt. More importantly, he looked relaxed. More relaxed than Remus had expected, anyway.
“You’re calm.”
Sirius didn’t look over at him, but a small smile appeared on his face. “Maybe I just look it.”
“Okay, fair.” Remus squeezed their tangled fingers together. “I just meant that you don’t seem…”
“Miserable.”
“Well, sure. That word works.”
“I’m just…” Sirius looked down at him. “Not sure if it’s sunk in yet, maybe. You?”
“No. Not really.”
Sirius squeezed his hand back and Remus felt his engagement ring press into his skin. If anything good came out of this, it was that he would not be taking of his ring any time soon. He caught it glinting in the passing lights.
“New York really never sleeps,” Remus said.
“Neither do we, apparently.”
It was helping more than sleep, though—the walking. It was starving off the soreness they were bound to feel soon. He’d already glimpsed a bad bruise forming near his knee.
“Either way,” Remus said. “I like these walks of ours. It feels different than Gryf.”
“Ouais,” Sirius agreed. “At least we both have rivers.”
The next street they turned onto was not asphalt, but cobblestones. It wound and bent, going against the grid of New York that Remus had become accustomed to. He leaned his head back to look up at the lit apartments above. It might have been two AM, but he could see shadows moving around, or the colorful flickers of televisions.
“Did you talk to Logan?” he asked.
“Non, not really. I mean, on the ice I did. But I don’t know. I wanted to get out of there.”
“Yeah.” Remus sighed. He fought the urge to start talking about the game. Part of him wanted to know each and every single one of Sirius’ thoughts. The hit in the second. The odd, sloppy breakaway in the third. That last buzzer attempt.
“You want to talk about it don’t you,” Sirius said.
Remus laughed, then groaned, hiding it in Sirius’ shoulder. “Yes. No. I don’t know.”
It was something special, to have someone who could read his mind. He closed his eyes, inhaling Sirius’ familiar scent and trusting him to guide him on the street. Sirius’ hand disappeared from his and wrapped around his waist instead. A kiss was pressed to Remus’ temple.
“Curb,” Sirius said softly, and Remus stepped down to cross the street then opened his eyes.
“Magnetic,” Remus said. “Do you remember them calling us that?”
“No one needed to remind me.”
Remus tightened his arms around Sirius’ hips and pressed a kiss over his shirt. “I know. I was just remembering.”
Their passes had connected so thoroughly this series. So well. It was awful, almost mean that the passes that stuck in their minds the most were the ones that had missed. 
“How about we keep remembering…” Sirius began. “But how about we do it with fries and milkshakes.”
Remus looked up. The idea made his mouth water. “Yes. What made you say that?”
Sirius just smiled and jerked his chin forward. “Là.”
There was a diner on the corner. Many of the booths in the window were filled—Other people in search of late-night snacks. The neon sign out front read 24 HOURS and Remus could see a group of girls with milkshakes and a basket of fries in front of them.
He reached up to wrap his arms around Sirius’ neck and pressed a hard kiss to his cheek. “Love of my fucking life.”
He felt Sirius smile. Sirius reached for his hand and brought it to his mouth, kissing his ring. “Ouais, it’s true.”
He held the door open for Remus.
They were shuffled into a leather, worn booth and given giant seemingly endless menus. Remus found that he could hardly sit still. He kept laughing to himself. At one point, when Sirius gave him an amused, dazed look, he’d had to cover his mouth.
“You’re wild on adrenaline,” Sirius laughed.
Remus wondered if that was it. If adrenaline was what this was. These weird, surprising tight bursts of joy bubbling over in his chest. Surely he should be feeling low. He had just lost part of his childhood dream yet again.
Was adrenaline fueling the smile Sirius gave him when their two chocolate milkshakes and order of fries arrived? Did adrenaline cause Sirius to skeptically watch him dip a fry into the thick chocolate? Did it make them both laugh when Sirius tried it, made a face, and quickly switched back to ketchup?
Or maybe something had changed.
“You know, I always wanted to talk about games with you,” Remus said.
“Always?”
“You know. Before.” Remus brought the straw of his milkshake between his teeth. “I always wondered what you were thinking. Even when you were mean to me.”
Sirius groaned and covered his face with his hands. “Arrêt.”
Remus reached across the table and tried to pull his hands away. “I did! Sirius, don’t hide, come here.” He laughed when Sirius wouldn’t. “Sirius.”
Sirius let out an exaggerated sigh and pushed himself up from his side of the booth, only to slide into Remus’, arm along the back behind him and tight against his side.
“Wh…” Remus began.
Sirius leaned forward and stole the fry from Remus’ fingers with a short tug of his teeth. “You said come here.”
“That was my fry.”
“Too late.”
“Meanie.”
Sirius just made the sound that Remus associated with both him and Logan—a very Quebecois sort of tisk of disapproval (in Logan’s part, mostly jokingly aimed at Finn). Sirius’ arm slid from the booth to Remus’ shoulders and he kissed him. Remus tilted his chin up into it and let himself relax.
“Chocolate and potatoes?” Sirius asked as he dipped to kiss Remus’ jaw. “Really?”
“Sweet and salty,” Remus replied, trying not to let his eyes slip closed. They were in a diner.
“Weirdo.”
Remus hissed at a playful nip to his neck and Sirius pulled back. Sirius dragged his milkshake over to their side of the table and took a long sip. Remus could tell he was thinking. Remus had always been able to tell when he was thinking. Even when he hadn’t been able to figure out anything else about Sirius.
“Tell me,” Remus said.
“I wish I hadn’t broken that stick,” Sirius said quietly. He dropped his head back and closed his eyes. “Re…”
“I know,” Remus said. “I know.”
Sirius let out a frustrated sound and rubbed at his eyes. “Merde…I don’t know what gets into me. Well, I do…”
They had both been expecting them, but as the clouds of loss edged back into their peripheral vision, Remus sighed. Sirius tightened his arm around Remus and tilted their heads together. Remus closed his eyes as they took each other’s weight.
“Julian said it best,” Sirius said. “I wanted this for you.”
“And you.”
Sirius pressed his lips together. “I—yes.”
Remus arched a brow, confused by the conflicted look on Sirius’ face. “What, what’s that look?”
Sirius sighed. He smiled, just a little. A bewildered sort of smile. He hooked his fingers into the plastic fry basket mindlessly, the greasy paper crinkling at his touch. His eyes went a little unfocused as he thought. Their blue-gray looked so fair in the diner’s light. “I keep wondering why I’m not as upset as I usually would be. I keep trying to, like…” He moved his free hand outward in a small sharp motion, palm forward. “Push myself towards being that upset. Which is insane. Why do I feel guilty for feeling slightly okay about this?”
“I…” Remus nodded slowly. “I get that. I do. Hey, but that’s good. It’s good you feel okay, you wouldn’t have been okay other years. That’s why I said you seem so calm I’m…I’m fucking proud of you for it.”
“Ouais. I guess…” His expression turned almost shy. “I guess me too.”
That made Remus smile.
“What I mean is…I’m gutted.” Sirius picked up a fry. “I want to throw something, I want a do-over…I want to be angry at Logan.” He tossed the fry back, turning to look at Remus. “But the thing that I keep thinking about isn’t the game. Isn’t the Cup. It’s you.”
Remus’ smile faltered. He looked down. “Yeah? Well… you keep catching yourself feeling guilty?” Sirius nodded. “Well, I keep catching myself thinking that this was it. That I’m finished.”
“You’re not. Re.” Sirius’ hand cupped his shoulder and Remus turned his head to look down at it. He could have drawn his scar in perfect alignment even while not being able to see it. Sirius’ fingers, over his shirt, traced it perfectly, too. He watched Sirius do it once, then twice. It was so much apart of him that even Sirius could map it into his skin.
“Loops.”
“You almost never call me that anymore.”
“Well, right now you’re my teammate as much as everything else and I’m telling you you’re going to get there.”
Remus smiled. He felt the waver in it and so did Sirius. “Telling me as my Captain?”
“As your Captain,” Sirius confirmed. His fingers traced the scar again. “As your friend and teammate who watched you…watched you take every part of your life back from Fenrir.”
Remus surprised himself with a laugh and tears springing to his eyes. “Fuck. I did, didn’t I?”
“Ouais.” Sirius kissed a tear away. “You fucking did.”
“Oh my God,” Remus whispered as the tears pressed harder at him. He tucked his face into Sirius’ neck and Sirius wrapped him up tight. His voice was warm and familiar in his ear.
“I’m telling you as all those things, and I’m telling you as someone who loves you more than anything. Ever.” Sirius’ hand spanned his back, rubbing gently. “D’accord. I think that was most of my English for tonight.”
Remus laughed tearfully again, and then let out a quiet sob, shoulders hitching. “I don’t know if I’m crying because I’m sad or relieved or what.”
“I don’t know either,” Sirius said. His voice held a teasing note. “But our waitress looks like she’s going to bring us free pie.”
Their next laughs were realer, and Remus pulled back. Sirius made a soft sound and thumbed away the tear tracks on Remus’ cheeks. Sirius still looked tired. The strain of the game was still there, but there was a happy, weightless flush to his cheeks that Remus had never seen before.
Sirius dipped a fry in his chocolate shake and held it out to Remus. “Sweet and salty night.”
Remus let Sirius feed him the chocolatey fry. Sirius dipped his own in ketchup and popped it into his mouth. Remus looked over his familiar profile. He’d seen it in shadows and bright lights…he would see him soon in the lake house’s sunset.
“Next year, mon loup,” Sirius said. “You and me. It’s not the end.”
Remus nodded and let Sirius tuck him back under his arm. “You and me.”
~
Logan was leaning against the side of the rooftop bar between Luke and Alex, listening to everyone swap stories and enjoying the warm wind on his back. It was good to be with Percy and Will again. He was glad now, basking in the New York night, that he hadn’t ruined this year for himself—at least not the entire year. He was glad he could stand here laughing with them about old times. The desperate fog of sadness from his first month still haunted him, but it was easier now. That was all he could hope for.
His rum and coke was sweet, but not as good as it was when Finn made it for him. The chicken wings on the table were spicy, but not as balanced as Leo’s. What had started with promises of a big, wild night had mellowed out quickly. It seemed like the team was content to simply be together, basking in the high of the win. Logan was basking with them. Just a little. Even when part of his heart, part of his mind, part of everything that was him, was at home with Leo and Finn.
It was close to three in the morning and Percy was in full form, joking with him about all the girls trying to get his attention. It was true—their group had been clocked the second they came in.
“I swear that’s the sixth one,” Percy sighed, looking over at the bar. “We’re just stars in your galaxy huh, Tremzy.”
“It’s the eyes. Nothing’s changed since college,” Will added. “Thank God Finn isn’t here.” Will had stayed out with them, which was rare. Usually he went home to his family before long. Logan was happy he was here. He’d always loved how loud his laugh was. It reminded him of Freshman year, hanging out in the kitchen of OKN house with Finn and Percy, watching Will cook the house dinner. He’d been such a good captain. The best, besides Sirius.
“What would happen if Finn was here?” Saint asked. He was standing at Luke’s side. Luke kept stealing sips of his whiskey—and narrowing his eyes playfully when Logan smiled at him.
“He, ah, sort of forgets what flirting is,” Logan explained and Alex nodded, pointing at Logan like it would enhance how true that was.
“I mean, maybe it’s more like he’s too good at it?” Percy offered.
Logan laughed. “He talks to everyone and it’s only when they ask him for his number after like, twenty minutes of talking—”
Alex laughed. “Then he’s like, oh no.”
Logan tried for a Finn accent. “Oh, shoot, sorry, I’m actually…”
Will threw his head back with that wonderful, infectious laugh. “Wait, that’s so dead on.”
Logan smiled. “But it was so so wonderful getting to know you! Those pictures you showed me of your dog—Man, they made my night.”
“All right,” Saint held up a hand. “I get it.”
“Yeah stop, it’s creepy now,” Alex said. “That’s scary good. Maybe better than mine.”
Luke scoffed. “Dude, you can’t have a Finn impression. You are a Finn impression.”
“Whoa, whoa.” Alex held up a hand. “If anything, Finn is an impression of moi.”
Logan smiled. He glanced at his phone. One new message, but from Noelle telling him he was coming to lunch tomorrow. It was late.
“Hey, hey,” Percy said, making Logan look up. “I know that look…Nu-uh. Not yet.”
Logan raised his eyebrows, smiling. “Perc.” He put on the Finn voice again. “C’mon, give me a break.”
Percy shuddered. “Okay, I didn’t mean to open this can of worms. This terrifying can of worms.”
“Perc, he beat his boys out today,” Will said. “If he wants to go home, let him.”
Percy put his hands against his chest. “But I haven’t even gotten to the best part of my day yet!”
“How could we ever guess,” Saint said flatly.
Percy winked at him. “Sebastian…Cassie Baker smiled at me today.”
Logan laughed and finished his drink. “Ouais, I’m out. You can moon over my ex-girlfriend without me.”
Alex finished off his drink, too. “I’m done, too. This was fun, boys.”
Percy spluttered. “What? It is young. The night. The earth—is young!”
“I have two boyfriends in my bed, warm and asleep,” Logan said, pushing up from the wall. “And my bed is usually very cold and very empty. So. This was fun. Goodbye.” He looked over at Luke, knocking him lightly in the shoulder as a way of saying goodnight. Luke jerked his chin in reply.
“Tremzy.” Percy actually pouted. “No, non, no.”
“Ouais, yeah, ouais,” Logan said. Percy grabbed onto his arm and made a show of putting most of his weight on Logan to keep him in place. Logan did nothing to help him and Percy began sliding towards the floor.
“Oh for fuck’s sake.” Will dragged Percy back to his feet with a fond shake of his head. “You’re so embarrassing.” he nodded to Alex and Logan. “You two have a good night. Don’t beat yourselves up too hard. It was a good game.”
“Yeah.” Alex sighed but nodded. “It was.” He looked up and called over to the bar. “A round for these guys, Hank!” He tussled Percy’s hair. “My parting gift, Perseus.”
Percy sent them a mournful look, but looked willing enough to accept the drink. “Fine.”
Even Saint cracked a smile.
“That really was a good Finn,” Alex said as Logan followed him down the stairs to the main restaurant and out the door. A breeze picked up on the dark street.
“Merci.” Logan shivered a little in his thin shirt. “Are you calling an Uber?”
Alex sent him an unimpressed look.
Logan sighed. “You’re walking, aren’t you?”
“What do you take me for?”
“Fuck,” Logan said, but followed him.
It was like walking with Finn—Logan didn’t have to think about directions or finding his way around. He knew they lived near each other but would have to split up at some point. Alex would tell him when they did. For now, the air felt good against his skin and the silence was gentle. Sometimes he still felt like he could hear the game in his head.
“Finn asked me once to try and take the shot for you if I could,” Alex said.
Logan wasn’t surprised. Alex touched his elbow briefly to get him to turn left.
“Luke offered me the same,” he said. “It…it is what it is.” But that wasn’t quite right. “Non. It fucking hurts.”
“I know,” Alex said. “I’ve had that with Kasey. You want to apologize when there’s nothing to be sorry for.”
Logan half nodded, half shook his head. “I don’t know. I wish I had gotten to see Le before we left. I thought he needed space. I thought I needed space…I guess we did. I don’t know.”
“Yeah,” Alex said.
“Adrenaline’s wearing off,” Logan said. “I miss him.”
“You’re walking home.”
“I know,” Logan said, eyes down. “But I miss him.”
Alex’s hand appeared on his back, rubbing gently.
“Is Kasey doing okay?” Logan asked.
Alex was quiet for a long time. When Logan looked over, he was frowning down at the ground and fiddling with the small, dark diamond he wore.
“Alex?”
Alex guided him right. The light was red but not a car was in sight. “It’s…really hard for me to tell right now actually.” He stepped up onto a low wall and balanced for a few steps before jumping off again. The temperature had dropped. Logan thought it felt like rain.
“You’re the one who told me to talk to Finn when I was worried about us,” Logan began carefully, and frowned when Alex sort of flinched. “You’re not the type to not take your own advice.”
“I don’t know,” Alex said. “Sometimes I am.”
Logan supposed that was true enough. No one always practiced what they preached. Logan watched their feet as they walked, waiting for Alex to say more. They had fallen into sync. They were quiet for a while again. Alex lead him straight, then left, the straight on again. Logan knocked their shoulders together at one point. Alex knocked back.
“I’m not…worried about us,” Alex said suddenly. “Exactly… I just wonder—I wonder if I’m…” He rubbed a tired hand across his face as they avoided a puddle at a curb. Logan was beginning to think this was about the wedding. He didn’t blame Alex if it was. If Leo and Finn suddenly decided to get married, he’d crawl out of his fucking skin.
“You should tell them,” Logan said softly. He realized he was replying to unsaid things, but if anyone might understand even a sliver of Alex’s situation, it was him.
Alex’s face tightened. “Tell them what?”
Logan thought for a moment. “Whatever you want. Whatever you need to.”
“What I need to?” Alex repeated. “What I need is to show them—show them that I…” Alex gave a sharp shake of his head. Just as suddenly, Alex switched topics. “Thanks for coming out tonight.”
Logan looked up at him. “Alex—”
“I hope—did I force you? I’m sorry, Tremz.”
“What? Non, non. I…I’m glad I came. Really, I am. But—”
“Okay,” Alex said. “Just checking.”
The streets turned to cobblestones and took on curves. There were still a few apartment glowing. Logan liked that. It felt like Gryffindor. There was always a light on. Finally, Alex stopped.
“You’re right,” Alex said. “I’m left.”
“Oh, I thought you were agreeing with me.” What he meant was you can talk to me. “Al, can I do anything?”
Alex smiled. It was a little tight, but he gave Logan a playful shove in the right direction. “No. Thanks, Tremz.”
Logan didn’t believe him, but he didn’t know how to push either.
They stood there in front of each other for a moment. Alex huffed out a laugh and hugged him hard. A hug Logan associated with Finn, with Finn’s parents. They both did the little shoulder pat that their mom hugged with, too. It made Logan smile.
“We’re gonna be okay,” Logan said.
“Yeah,” Alex replied, muffled by Logan’s shoulder.
When Logan had crossed the street, he turned. He felt like he hadn’t tried hard enough, and he’d already made that mistake once tonight with Leo.
“Mais—I’ll say one thing?”
“What’s up?” Alex nodded, waiting on the corner.
“What you said earlier,” Logan said. “In the locker room and just now. About showing them. That we can be both lovers and—” He almost said enemies. “Opponents.”
“The…oh. Yeah?”
“I think…I think I won a hockey game today,” Logan said. "And I love my boyfriend. If I had lost a hockey game, I would still love my boyfriend. When there are no more hockey games, I’ll still love Leo. And if someone, some fucking reporter wants to link those two things, then they can go to hell.”
Alex was shades of blue and silver across the narrow street.
Logan shifted, a little nervous now. “I don’t think…I don’t think we have to show anyone anything. If it’s okay for me to say…”
Logan thought of the hell this year had been. He thought of Leo, holding him when they’d found out he was going to New York. Leo, tumbling into their living room in the middle of the night when Logan had come home from All-Stars. Leo and his soft kisses in the bright hospital hallway while they waited to see if Finn was okay. None of that was a show. Leo might like to put on a performance on the ice for the fans, but everything else about him was instinct, real and pure. Logan admired that. He’d put up fronts for Finn for so long, fronts that he was still tearing down.
“You don’t have to show Kasey and Nat anything. Not, like, a happy face or that you’re okay. That’s not…” Logan shook his head. “That’s just a bad habit, Alex.”
Alex tilted his head up to look at the faint moon over the city. It wasn’t full, but it was getting there.
“Tremzy…” Alex said slowly. When he smiled, the moonlight lit up his face. “You know what?”
“Quoi?”
“You’re fucking right.” Alex put a hand to his chest. The necklace glinted between his fingers. “You’re so fucking right.”
Logan let out a breath. He smiled back. “Yeah? I don’t know if that made sense in English.”
“Yeah.” Alex’s voice cracked, his brown eyes were bright with tears, but when Logan made to step forward he waved him off.
“Well,” Alex said. “I’m going home now.”
There was a lot of relief in that word. So much that it made Logan smile and feel choked up, too. “Me too.”
Logan tried to open the door as quietly as possible, going slow and expecting darkness.
Only, the lamp above his couch was on, turned down to the dimmest setting, and Finn was looking at him from just below it. He was wearing his faded NASA t-shirt and sweatpants, socked feet crossed on top of a pillow. His sling was draped over the back of the couch, his arm resting easily atop another pillow which also propped his book up.
Sleeping against his chest, was Leo.
Logan wanted to crumble to his knees.
“Oh,” Logan mouthed. He kept perfectly still.
Finn folded the book closed silently. He had his glasses on. Hi, his soft eyes said, and then with a glance down at Leo and a palm on his back: Don’t worry, I’ve got him.
Logan set his keys into the bowl by the door as quietly as he could. Leo. He toed his shoes off. Leo. He walked over to the couch and knelt beside them.
“You are so bad at sneaking,” Finn whispered—so quiet. “Did you have a good time?”
“Ouais,” Logan whispered back. He settled a palm beside Finn’s on Leo’s back, eyes trained on his sleeping face. He looked so peaceful. Logan leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss over his t-shirt. He looked up at Finn so he could read his lips more than hear him. “Had a good walk with Alex.”
Finn’s eyebrows raised, surprised. “Oh? Alex…is very good to walk with.”
Logan nodded. He would tell Finn he was a little worried tomorrow.
“Is he okay?” Finn asked softly.
“He will be,” Logan said. He nodded towards Leo. “And ours?”
Finn rubbed a slow hand down Leo’s back with a sigh.
“Lo…”
So far, Leo hadn’t stirred, but at Finn’s touch Logan felt the change in his breathing. Logan could always tell when Leo was awake. Slowly, Leo’s eyes opened. His cheeks were flushed. He regarded Logan sleepily for a moment. Logan felt Leo’s muscles tense as he remembered.
“Hi,” Logan said softly. “Hi, Le.”
“You—” Leo began, but his voice was hoarse and he had to begin again. “You should be out celebrating.”
“I did,” Logan said. “But I want to be here. Merde, Le, I wanted to be here fucking hours ago, I…” Logan shook his head. He was upset with himself, more so than he’d allowed himself to realize earlier tonight. “I should have come and see you. Soleil, I didn’t know…I didn’t know if you’d want…God, I love you, what can I do? Is there anything?”
Tears filled Leo’s eyes. He gave his head a small shake.
“Okay,” Logan said. Was he allowed to reach out to him? Did Leo want that? “Okay…”
“I’m going home with my parents tomorrow for a couple days, Lo.”
Everything in Logan froze. He looked up at Finn, whose eyes told him that this was what he had been about to say.
“Quoi?” Logan breathed. All the tension came right back into him. The fizzy, heavy quiet drained right out of his head.
“Lo,” Finn said, slightly warning.
It knocked him off balance, sitting back on his knees, but Finn reached out and grabbed his hand. His brown eyes were firm, clouded with racing thoughts and emotions. Relax. Think. Wait. Finn’s fingers squeezed around his own. Think. His thumbs made slow tracks across Logan’s knuckles. It’s okay. Think about him. Think about why.
Slowly, slowly, Logan pulled himself back towards Leo, who was watching him with exhausted blue eyes.
Logan let out a breath, he squeezed Finn’s hand then dropped it and combed his fingers through Leo’s hair. “I…okay. Okay. Whatever you need, Soleil.”
“It’s not that I don’t want to see you play—”
“Shh,” Logan whispered. “Le. Leo. It’s not about me. I know I just—um. Freaked out for a second. I’m sorry. We’ve had enough of that this year, ouais?” He leaned down to kiss Leo’s temple. “Home is always good.”
Finn closed his eyes at that, tucking his nose into Leo’s hair. “He’s right, Le. I…he’s right.”
Leo’s first sob was quiet, just a hitch of his chest, but the second came out in a harsh breath. He turned his face towards Finn’s chest, eyes squeezed shut.
Logan felt Leo’s pain right in the center of his chest. “We love you. So much. Le…” Logan wrapped an arm around his back, and Leo reached out a hand to hold his.
“We do,” Finn whispered. “We’re right here.”
“Always,” Logan said. “And—Le, you played so well tonight.” Logan’s throat closed up and he had to pause before he could talk again. “And I’m so fucking proud of you. You’re so talented and this year has been shit. It’s been absolute shit, Le.”
“I really—love you, I just—I need…” Leo gave up trying to talk, just pressed closer to Finn.
“You don’t have to explain,” Finn said soothingly. “We understand.”
“Ouais.” Logan nodded. “I also would—would want Eloise’s chicken soup.” Logan wiped his eyes clear of tears so he could see Leo better. “Even with full spice.”
It startled a laugh out of Leo, crying and blocked-nosed as it was. “Full spice?”
“Ouais, I would. I swear it.”
“Me too,” Finn said. “It’d make me cry but me too.”
  Outside it started to rain. A crack of thunder and the force of the drops doubled. Logan didn’t realize he’d hardly looked up until the second clap of thunder.
“The storm,” Leo said.
“Can’t hear it,” Logan replied.
Leo took a few breathes, then picked up his head from Finn’s chest and looked at him.
“Hi, pillow.”
Finn laughed softly. “Very happy to be of service.”
“Didn’t think I was going to be able to sleep at all.” Leo pressed a kiss to Finn’s chin and groaned a little as he pushed himself into a sitting position, like he hadn’t moved in ages. He let out a long breath, rubbing at his eyes.
“I love you guys, too,” Leo said. He reached out for Logan. “The ice…Seeing you on the ice…”
Logan shook his head. “I know.” He pushed himself up onto the couch when Leo made free the space on his other side. Finn sat up and slipped his sling back over his head to cradle his arm. He sat facing them criss-crossed and Leo touched his face. Finn kissed his palm.
“Did you guys eat after the game?” Logan asked.
Leo shook his head. “Finn wanted to get me something but…I really just didn’t want anything.”
“You should have something,” Logan said, then he leaned forward for a quick kiss. “Wait.” This. This was something he could do. “Don’t move, either of you.”
Logan moved around in the yellow light of his kitchen with hard-fought for ease. He cracked eggs into a bowl. He poured a splash of milk in, the way Leo had taught him. In the pan, he kept the heat on low, turning the eggs slowly so their soft curl didn’t break. He turned the heat off while they were still just a little runny, slid them onto the toasts—which he had managed to time perfectly—to let them finish cooking while they melted in butter and a few passes of shaved cheddar. Four shakes of chili flakes. He went to the fridge and found the fresh mint that Leo had bought for him. He waited a moment for his kettle to boil, then clumped the mint into three mugs and poured the hot water over them. A little drizzle of honey in Leo’s, a big drizzle in his, none for Finn.
In the living room, Finn and Leo were dozing together. Outside, the sky lit up with lightning and both of their eyes opened. Leo held out his arm.
“You’re back.”
“Of course,” Logan said.
Leo looked over at Finn. “See?”
Finn shuffled Leo closer under his arm. “I do. I do.”
Logan braced himself, setting the tray of Leo’s eggs and the three teas down just in time for the thunder to make him flinch. Leo’s eyes were clearer now. He smiled when they saw the food.
“Aw, Lo…”
“It’s nothing like you can do,” he said. “But I love you.”
I love you, love you, love you.
He settled the plate on Leo’s lap and watched as he took a bite, humming as he chewed. He held out the toast for Finn. Another crack of thunder rang out, but Logan hardly heard. He was warm in one of those softly glowing apartments he’d seen from the street. The sun was going to rise soon and Leo and Finn were tucked close to him. Their faces were tear-streaked, noses still sniffling, and it wasn’t quite their summer. Not yet.
Outside it was raining and thundering, but inside it was beginning to feel to Logan like their storm was passing by.
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phenomenalgirl9 · 10 months
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Jungkook x Reader: Lost You
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Summary: You've always been in love with him, but today you were done waiting for him, to see you, to understand you. You were finally done with Jeon Jungkook.
Wc: 1.9k
A/n: I tried something new idk how it is. I'm almost nervous to post it. But who cares 😶‍🌫️. Anyway Chan and Jimin were spotted in a restaurant in comfy clothes and I'm digging that!
⚠️: Its kinda sad (?!), Jungkook is a douche bag, a little suggestive.
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You kept calling him but no use, his phone was switched off. He should have been here 3 hours ago. You hoped, he was in a business meeting as he told you when you asked him to come home by 6 and he said he'd be home by 7 as he had a meeting. 
You still remember the first day you met him, back when you were both 10 in one of your dad's fancy parties. "His father is important to the company, they are new in town, go play with him and be friends. Ok, Y/n?" Your mother had told you with a sweet smile on her face as you nodded. And the rest was history. Considering your circle mostly considered if the children of the other directors and business partners he fit in with all of you well. 
15 more minutes passed, and you could only worry more, you walked to the kitchen to get some water and placed your phone and whatever you had in your hand on the counter and get a glass of water, mid way of drinking it you heard the sound of your door open and close and you rushed to see. 
"Jungkook?" You called out his name and he looked at you wide eyes like a doe caught in headlights, an expression floated on his face which looked like remembrance. 
"You were with her weren't you?" The question flew from your mouth before you could filter it and you found that look filled with guilt on his face. You scoffed and folded your hands and started to walk off to your shared room when he said. 
"Why are you like this? She needed me okay!" Jungkook said. "What about me Jungkook? I, your girlfriend, needed you! And you went off with Minji" you said in frustration. "Don't say as if I was sleeping with her. She's still my good friend" he argued and you walked to the kitchen to grab your belongings and stepped inside the room he and you shared. 
You slid down to the ground as you closed the door. You still remember that day she walked into your life, Seo Minji. 
It was when you were 15. 
"Hey, isn't that the new kid?" Mingyu asked and you nodded. "Aw she's sitting alone" Jihyo said frowning, "Y/n go invite her here" Chan said, elbowing you. "Why me?" You asked, not like you were opposed to this aspect but you were simply curious. "You're good at this. I'm saying from experience" Jungkook said flashing his bunny smile, the smile that made your heart skip a beat, you would have done anything for that smile.
And you did, you invited Minji to your table, soon you found out her father actually worked for your father. "I feel strange sitting among you guys,I don't think I fit in" she said shyly. "Bullshit, we're all people" you daid ensuring her, "Yeah, there's nothing much different between you and us, welcome to our group" Jungkook said, flashing that sane smile at here.
It was truly where it all had started, Minji trying to get the boys in her clutches. She thought you and Jihyo didn't notice her accidental touches or her kawai and weak acts in front of them. While Chan could see through them, Mingyu and Jungkook never did. 
"Why didn't you two speak up when we were trying to get Mr Kim to invite Minji to the party?" Jungkook asked and Mingyu shook his head. You tightened your fist as Chan held it to ease you up. "She'd feel out of place," Jihyo tried to reason. The truth is you didn't want her to engage further with your circle. She already got Jungkook and Migyu to get her everything she might want. You watched as she used those two as her personal atm, a bat of her eyelashes and she had the 
"Gucci bag she wanted but couldn't get as she had to buy her grandmother's medicine" 
"Prada shoes cause she was sad her (nonexistent) fish died" 
You three tried to show them the real deal, but they refused as Minji never asked, they were willing to give her because she "deserved to be happy too". 
You smiled at yourself as you heard a knock on the door. "Babe, seriously why are you angry? I swear nothing happened, we just talked, Mingyu has been ignoring Minji and she felt alone, so she just needed someone to talk to and have a glass of wine with" He said. This always happened, One call and Jungkook would go running to her. 
You remember when you were 18, and your father and Jungkook's father declared that you and Jungkook would be engaged. You couldn't help your smile, you would be wed to your best friend to the person you fell for all those years ago. You were happy that now you could help him see reason, help him come out of Minji's clutches. But one look at his face, and you felt all your feelings drain away, his face was filled with disdain and he walked away. He didn't even consider that you could be the one for him for once. Did you expect something else? Did you expect he'll come happily to you and agree to this, you idiot. 
But, how could you? You lived to look into his doe eyes that shone bright, not for you, for Minji. You lived for that toothy smile that went brighter when Minji was there. No, they never were in a relationship, rather she never came into a relationship with either Jungkook or Mingyu. 
You still remember that day when you were 21, you had just graduated and were at your father's (soon to be yours) office working on some designs about a deal with your assitant Jimin and your now business associates Bangchan and Jungkook. No you two still spoke, you all were still friends and he acted like that evening never occured like he never broke your heart and crushed it into pieces. You remember Mingyu rushing into your cabin and hugging you tightly cheering "She said yes! She said yes! Minji said yes". You were stunned for a moment, you all were. "To what?" Chan managed to ask the man who was happy beyond bounds. "To marry me!" He said, "I'll go home, I just came to tell as I knew most of you are here, I've texted Jihyo, now I gotta tell my parents!" He said with his bright smile. "Congratulations" Jimin said to the departing man, who screamed a "thank you". All of your eyes shifted to Jungkook, his face motionless, teeth gritted, his fist so tight that his knuckles were turning white, a single tear left his eye. You shouldn't but you felt like your heart ached seeing him and you realised how down bad you were still for Jeon Jungkook. "Can you guys complete the rest without me? I'll just sign it" he asked. "Yeah, sure" you said and he walked away. The next day Jihyo had called you and told you, "of course she's marrying Mingyu, he's the heir, the elder child, Jungkook is second to his brother. How is he holding up?" You gave the exact words that you told Chan earlier that day "i don't know". The truth being, he never even read your texts, you didn't have the courage to meet him. 
You sighed at the banging sound from across the door. "If you need something tell me, if not please go to the other room". "Can you open the door once Y/n please. Please" he pleaded "Go away Jungkook please" you said, you wished you had said that to him that day two years ago. 3 days after Mingyu's proposal to Minji, you found Jungkook at your door, "can I come in" he had asked you in a broken voice. Your heart broke with his, you couldn't bear to see him like that. He came in to hug you, and you patted your head. 
"She loves him, I have to accept that. I don't know how you do it Y/n" he said, and your eyes went wide, tears stung them. "How do you even bear to look at my face much less comfort me after all I've done. How do you look beyond your feelings?" He asked. "Since when have you known?" You asked. "Since 3 days ago, when I saw the hurt in your eyes and realised how you have always been there." He said holding onto your cheek. Your brain told you to pull away, to push him away, to throw him out of the room, when his face inched closer to yours. You knew what he's doing, yet you didn't pay heed to the voice in your head. You focused on the doe eyes that looked into yours deep. Those arms that slid around your waist and pulled you close. You chose to focus on those lips that were attached to yours. You had thought, maybe this time he chose you, maybe this is it for you two. And it was, for the next few months. 
Jungkook and you walked hand in hand and stood beside Jimin and Chan along with Jihyo, on Mingyu and Minji's wedding day. Gyuji marriage was the talk of the town and things were finally looking up. Until 3 months into the wedding and you all were in the same party and seemingly Jungkook and Minji caught up, "you are still my best friend" Minji had told him, you tried your best not to drain a flute of wine on her. You didn't really mind much, ge did come back to you. He did love you. Things weren't so bad a few missed dates were seen and apologized and managed up until he missed your 2nd anniversary date and then your birthday. Once because Minji was sick and Mingyu was out of town and other because he mixed up the date after he had drunk a lot the day before with Minji and got absorbed at work.
But today was your last straw, you were done waiting around for him. You were done waiting for him to see you beneath Minji's shadow. You were done crying for him. You were done with him. So you texted Chan and Jimin, asking if their spare room was empty and if you could crash for sometime. Hence, you packed a small bag, took your phone and wallet and left the apartment. "Y/n! Y/n no. Please don't leave me over this. I'll be more attentive and careful. Y/n please." He pleaded. You might have stopped if this would have been any other day, but not today. Cause today you were done with Jeon Jungkook and the bullshit that comes with him.
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You don't stop, he lost you. He really lost you. He walks into the room you used to share. He found a book on the floor near the bed and a white and blue strip inside it. Jungkook was familiar with this strip or well, device, his eyes shifted to the words that were written on the little screen, 'positive'. "FUCK FUCK FUCK" Jungkook cursed as he felt like tearing off his hair, he did this to himself. 
Part 2: I loved you so bad
Masterlist
Taglist: @bbl32 @back2bluesidex (for a sec I couldn't find you 🤣) @cherryblossom-2004
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