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syuga-s · 9 days

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who do you blame?

w.c. 11.9k pairing. Yoongi x fem!reader, Taehyung x fem!reader genre. hello again ANGST, slight smut, romance a/n. NSFW MDNI !!! curse words, alcohol, sexual content (just fingering this time),, i may or may not have a second part to this fic 😼 ENJOY pookies <3

Don’t know if I can call it insomnia if I literally sleep at this hour all the time.

I want to dye my hair black again.

But this restlessness feels different.

Maybe that third cup of coffee’s doing its thing.

I was so close to having a panic attack; I did cry, though. And I still want to for a variety of reasons.

I’ve been thinking about a lot of things this week. I really want to see Yoongi like, right now. That’s how I know I’m not doing well.

Lately, I’ve been pondering the idea of resentment and how it means that envy is the emotion you’re feeling. At first, I dismissed it because how do you go from one emotion to a completely different one? But hell maybe they’re right.

I may envy people and their ability to forget how someone else made them feel. Or how they’re able to just overlook someone’s actions. Because I can’t do that. I take everything to heart.

How can you not when those actions were directed at you? Even though I’m used to excusing them and saying, “maybe they’re going through something big, and I just got the short end of the stick,” “maybe they didn’t actually mean it,” or the great, “maybe you’re not the only one that they treated like that, don’t feel so special.”

Alright, but why does it have to happen? Is it that tough to be considerate of someone’s feelings?

Good thing I haven’t texted Yoongi. I’m pretty sure I’m having a weak moment.

Do I want to keep up with that mess? Because that’s what it is.

I just can’t stop thinking about him. I think I miss him. But I refuse to be the one that reaches out for him this time. I’m still pondering if I genuinely miss him or if I’m just fucking lonely again.

Pretty sure it’s the second one.

At the same time, I wish he would grow up more and be ready for something serious.

“Sooooo… I dyed my hair again last night,” you confessed to Gemma on the phone. She was on her way to your house to pick you up because tonight you two were attending a concert.

Your best friend sighed, and you could practically imagine them rolling their eyes. “What color is it this time?” Gemma sounded exasperated, but she wasn’t; it didn’t even surprise her anymore. All her concerns were how you managed to not fry your hair whenever you wanted another makeover.

“I guess it looks kind of black?” You muttered and pressed your lips while you waited for your friend to say something.

“UGH, I can’t wait to see you!,” “you better be ready too because I’m hungry, and you know our pho place closes early!”

“I know, I know. Surprisingly, I AM ready; I’m just looking for my keys.”

This was your and Gemma’s ritual almost every Friday or Saturday night, depending on your plans. Tonight, it was Friday, and you had your usual king size pho, talking about work, your hair on this occasion, and most importantly, the band you were going to watch in a few hours.

You forgot to mention how you’ve been feeling about Yoongi. You thought that conversation could be saved for another time.

As soon as you arrived at the venue, the band came out.

It was one of these L.A. indie bands that both of you discovered this same year. Whenever Gemma was over at your place, you always ended up watching their music videos, fawning over the vocalist. So, when you found out they were doing a concert soon, you knew you had to be there.

It lasted around an hour, which was a little underwhelming compared to the other concerts you’ve attended. Still, all was forgotten because that damn vocalist was as dreamy as you imagined.

When the concert ended, Gemma and you found yourselves a table to keep talking over drinks. You didn’t count on Sam, one of your other friends, calling and telling you she was coming over.

You didn’t usually mixed your plans, but it felt kind of inevitable tonight.

You also thought the place felt kind of dead and guessed it wouldn’t hurt to have more people with you.

Sam arrived with her brother’s girlfriend. Before anything else could be said, they both said, “This place is dead.”

“What were you doing in here?”

You laughed at the confused expression your friend had on her face. She knew you were at a concert, but you then explained you were just sitting and drinking, nothing special.

“We should go somewhere else! What do you say about going downtown?” The brother’s girlfriend addressed you.

You pursed your lips and turned to look at Gemma to ask her what she wanted to do. “I’m staying over with you, so I’m giving you the privilege of deciding.” You smiled at your friend and thought about it. You wanted to keep drinking; it was barely 11 p.m.

You turned to Sam to tell her it was okay, but before you opened your mouth, she tried to convince you, “Come on, let’s just go for a while; Hoseok’s over there with some friends!”

Hoseok is Sam’s brother.

Hoseok is Yoongi’s best friend.

It’s pretty evident that wherever Hoseok was, Yoongi was there too.

Fuck, did I manifest this?

“Let’s go then.”

What a miracle, what a coincidence.

A kiss on the cheek. All kind. Warm greetings—the kind that makes you want to kill whoever invented manners. You see each other from time to time, often at random places and gatherings like tonight.

You haven’t seen Yoongi in over ten months.

You haven’t seen him since that last date you had. If you can call it that.

Last year, life was kicking your ass, and Yoongi was everything you had. You truly needed someone, and he stayed with you throughout the messiest months of your life. He was your everything.

You were perfectly aware he was never going to be serious about you. He’s been in your life for eight years, and both of you have left the other countless times before. You two were just a bad joke. You never understood why he always insisted on coming back to your life just for him to treat you like always. Never something special. Never been the exception, always the rule.

But for those seven months, he acted like the person you always wanted him to be. You knew you were both a joke, but you always liked what “us” meant with him.

Last Christmas was the first time you spent a holiday together. It felt so important to you back then as if life was finally going your way.

You never expected what he had to say to you right on that day.

“First of all, Merry Christmas, honey”. He smiled as he looked at you. “You know I’ll always wish for you and your family to be healthy. I know this is important to you, but I’m sure you can rest a bit about that matter from now on.”

“I’m really happy you’re spending these days with me. You know I’m not fond of the holidays, but I want you to know this feels important to me.”

“I genuinely, truly, really want to keep you with me and for us to go out as much as we can, if you want to, of course. Because to be honest, if it were up to me, we would be doing a bunch of stuff together all the time, but it’s not just a matter of me wanting, so I hope you’d like that too.”

With his words, you went through all the emotions known to mankind. It’s been the first time you’ve heard something like that coming from him, and you felt strange. Thinking how you may have wanted that for years, now when it’s actually happening, you feel so disconnected from yourself, you start to think, “What can he possibly like in me? I’ve only shown him chaos these past months.”

But as soon as that thought crossed your mind, your heart told you, “Yet, he’s still here.”

He made you feel safe, so you committed to being the best version of yourself once again. After all you’ve been through, he’s never stopped being so good and patient with you.

He’s always going to have a piece of your heart.

Then came the inevitable change of heart one of you had every time.

This time, it happened to him. Of course.

You were supposed to go out one night, but you ended up going home in the middle of the “date.”

It’s like you weren’t talking to Yoongi anymore. He was acting cold, apathetic, indifferent, you name it.

You felt awful on your way home. You didn’t even want to think about the reason for his attitude towards you.

You wanted to feel hopeful, happy, and even in love, but it didn’t feel like that anymore. You wanted to trust in what Yoongi had told you just a few weeks ago. Maybe it was just something you wanted to hear, but you didn’t catch on to the intentions behind his words.

I actually fell for it this time.

There have been multiple times when you told yourself there was no future for you two. Why do you keep staying? It just makes you feel like shit in the end.

I just keep building unrealistic expectations, as if there was actually someone who could save me from my own problems1.

This time, you were hoping he was tired of you and would finally choose not to be with you anymore.

Farewell comes. Once again, you bury memories deep in the deepest ocean. Then it comes back and floats up.

There were eight people sitting close together at a little round table, and to your luck, you ended up facing Yoongi.

Beer never stopped coming to your table.

You had an impressive way of acting as if everything was normal. You were always like this. Of course, Yoongi made you angry, but you’ve never resented him for something. Acting full of hostility in front of both of your friends would never be one of your goals.

On some other occasion, maybe you would’ve ignored him and his glances, but you can’t deny that you’ve wanted to see and talk to him for the past few weeks.

Your friends weren’t fond of your “relationship,” yet they were always curious about how you two treated each other whenever you saw each other after a while. Everyone always knew when you two were together and how many months you had spent without talking.

You can’t tell if that’s good or not, but everyone knew it was just a matter of time before you started seeing each other again.

Tonight was going well. You haven’t seen Hoseok or the other guys in a while. Aside from whatever you had with Yoongi, they were your friends, too. Not too long ago, you always went out on weekends to bars, parties, and the occasional concerts.

Ever since you distanced yourself from them a little, they got into relationships. It wasn’t until today that you actually spent time with them and their partners and got to know them a little.

Jimin was sitting on your right, and eventually, you found yourselves talking apart from the others. He started telling you about his partner and how he got in a little fight with them over whether it’s right or not to look at other people at the gym.

Later, the others were all over that topic, arguing whether it was socially acceptable or not to look at someone else at the gym while your partner was there with you. All the alcohol you’ve drank made itself present. Your overall volume rose with each minute, with everyone voicing their opinions.

You had already told tipsy Jimin your point of view, so you got fed up with the subject when it turned into an actual discussion between Hoseok and his partner.

Sam and Gemma were still talking with Jimin over what he did, his partner’s words, and whatnot. So you found your chance to get up and go to the jukebox.

It took less than two minutes of you looking through the catalog when you suddenly saw a tall figure standing by your side.

“Hi,” he said.

You turned to look straight into his eyes. “Hi.”

“You look radiant, better than before.”

You bit your smile back and answered, “can’t complain.” Still searching for a song.

He came closer to you, “we meet again.”

A smile escaped from you. “It’s been almost a year, huh.”

Now they’re walking on ice. To see who slips first. No strings intertwined. They were never anything, but there was always something.

“I know, it’s crazy.” He wasn’t going to waste any more time. “Can we meet later?”

There was something.

“My friend is staying over.” You had already picked two songs but still had three more credits.

“I can come by.”

You were thinking hard about which songs to pick, but Yoongi was making it really hard to concentrate.

Of course, I want you to come over. Yet, I still want to hang on to the small remains of my pride.

“I think it would be better if we go out sometime this week if you want.”

Filled with anxiety over what you were arranging, you started tapping your fingers against the machine, not remembering which artist you were looking for in the first place.

“I thought you no longer wanted to see me.”

You lifted your chin to look at him and gave him a smirk. “Well,” you said with a nervous laugh, “I did, but I can’t lie to you; I’ve been thinking about you for days.”

“Why?”

“Why? What do you mean why?”

“I don’t know, I thought you were done with me.”

“Yoongi, we can’t talk about that here.”

You were finally searching for the last song. “Well, I’ll see you at your house later.”

Again, you turned to look at him but gave him an annoyed expression. You kept going through Pink Floyd’s songs, your distress not letting you find your favorite song by them.

“Can I? Just for a while. I want to talk to you.”

“Talk about what Yoongi?”

Finally, <The Great Gig in the Sky>.

“About why you left like that back then.”

You finally turned your whole body to answer him, “Alright then, you can come by later.” And with that, you returned to your seat at the table. Everyone asked what took you so long, and while you explained that you couldn’t find the songs you wanted, Yoongi came back to his seat, too. All eyes were on you, his included.

It actually got you happy that he talked to you first.

Untethered intertwining. They were never anything, but there was always something.

Sam, Hoseok, and his girlfriend left around 2 a.m., but the rest of you kept finding things to talk about.

You never stopped drinking, but you weren’t feeling drunk yet. In one of your trips to the bathroom, Gemma told you she liked Yoongi for the first time, and it got you all giddy. As you were walking back, you and Yoongi couldn’t take your eyes off of each other. Both of you were getting impatient to finally be alone again.

You’re both talking to your friends, and you’re laughing, and you look across the table. You’re not even far apart, but you catch each other’s eyes, and it’s this secret that exists right there, unnoticed, and no one else knows about it, no one else but you and Yoongi.

The rest of your friends were already drunk, so he told you, “We should go.”

“Come on, I’ll take you both home.”

Gemma hopped in the back of his car, and you got yourself in the passenger seat.

All your actions were too familiar for someone who hasn’t seen this guy in over ten months.

The next thing you knew, your phone connected automatically to his car, and he urged you to put some music on.

It was until this moment, on your way to your house, that you realized you were very drunk. You don’t even remember which playlist or songs you played.

When you arrived home, you gathered all your might to get Gemma inside. (Yoongi helped you open all the doors and, most importantly, carry Gemma to your room).

You got Gemma into your bed, changed her clothes, and left her a glass of water on your bedside table. You also used the moment to gulp a glass of water yourself. Meanwhile, Yoongi was already settled in your living room, his eyes not leaving you. Lying on your couch, recognizing when you were feeling more than tipsy. “Are you drunk?”

His voice scared you for a second. You did not realize he was still there or that he was watching your every move. Your smile gave away that you were indeed feeling a little drunk.

“A little? Maybe?”

The way he laughs always gets you. It has this cute yet manly note that you’ve always loved so much.

You curled up on your couch next to Yoongi, facing him. You truly wanted to hear what he wanted to talk about, but this newfound comfort of being on your couch made you sleepy. At the same time, the way he was looking at you was letting the alcohol in your system wear out.

His heavy gaze no longer made you think about talking with him. All you wanted was for him to hold you and kiss you like he used to as if he couldn’t wait any longer to press his lips on yours, to interrupt you while you were saying something with a kiss filled with the desire you both had for the other.

“Are you dating someone else?” His question shocked you. You looked at him wide-eyed. Yoongi looked directly at your eyes like they were the only thing in the room, fearing that if he looked somewhere else, he’d miss the truth coming from your eyes.

Your face turned into a frown, and drinking in his words confused you. You sat straight to ask your first question, but he beat you to it. “Is that why you left me?” The blood drained from your face.

Is he serious? Is he genuinely clueless? Or is he just being stupid?

“Is that what you want to hear? That I’ve been dating around?”

“I don’t know. It’s just that you disappeared again; if you wanted me to go to hell, you could’ve said so.”

“What are you even saying, Yoongi?”

“I thought you were dating someone.” He let out what must have been a bitter laugh.

“Well, I’m not… I don’t have time to go out with ‘people’.”

Do you even know why it’s so goddamn impossible for me to let you go? Because every song, every moment, and every person reminds me of you.

Why did you even want to see him this time around? Have you ever thought about that? It didn’t even matter because it was always the same. You suddenly forget how you feel or whatever you wanted to say as soon as you’re in front of him. Even if you said something, he wasn’t going to listen. He never does.

“Are you dating someone?”

“That’s not what I wanted to talk about. I need to know why you left me that night.”

“So, you are dating someone...”

“Just tell me why you left me.”

“Fine, I bet I won’t even remember this in the morning,” you laugh softly, maybe in preparation for what you would say next.

You collapse back onto your couch, sighing as your head sinks into the soft cushions. Your eyes drift upward, fixating on the blank expanse of the ceiling above you.

“It’s just that… I don’t know; that day, you were acting so strange toward me, and I truly thought you weren’t my Yoongi anymore. It’s like you were dying to get out of there, and I figured it would be better if I was the one who left first”. You smiled, but everyone could have seen the bitterness behind it. “I trust- no, I hoped… that what you told me that you wanted for us was true, but I couldn’t see a trace of that in you anymore. I didn’t want to turn into an anxious mess and think about you non-stop or… try to find out why you acted like that, so yeah, I left you again.”

He felt a tightness in his chest when he heard you say, “My Yoongi.” It wasn’t helping that your words sounded so real to him at that moment. This was easily the third time he’d seen you somewhat vulnerable. He was going to regret talking about this.

“Do you want me to ask you what was going on with you that day?” Your head was still on the couch, but it was now turned to get a better look at his face. You were still smiling.

He thought, Why is she smiling? Why is she always smiling?

“But you said you weren’t gonna remember this in the morning.” There goes his sweet laugh again.

“We can try.”

“Can we try with a kiss instead?”

Only the sound of cars driving by could be heard.

You don’t even remember that kiss anymore.

That should have been a dead giveaway that everything was bound to turn out very wrong after that night.

The following days were even worse. Your conversations over text were boring and awkward. You felt that he was being an ass on purpose, as if he was making you pay for what you “put” him through. Sick and tired. That’s how you were beginning to feel towards this ongoing joke. Over the week, you started remembering the first thing you wrote about him. It was the first time you’d drifted apart.

“I want to see you. I want to be with you now. I hate feeling this needy. I like you so much that I don’t know what to do with all these emotions. Remember that night when we kissed for the first time? Our lips touched, and I think my heart lost its rhythm for a few minutes. It’s okay if you don’t remember it the way I do. But I want you to know that I’ll never forget how you made me feel that night. I think I fell in love with you since then. I’ve missed you almost every day since you left. I realized that I look pretty when I’m sad, but I look prettier when somebody says your name, and I smile uncontrollably. I wish I could explain the physical pain I feel inside my chest when I think about you. And I wish that pain could be erased if we’re being honest. I don’t know what’s wrong with us. I’m running out of ideas to make this work, and I feel like if I don’t do something to save us, you won’t do it either; even though I know you care, I know you’re just going to stand there, arms crossed watching everything drift away. I can’t get out of my head that time you said that you felt that you were hurting me instead of making me feel good, and I said that sometimes I think I hate you. I swear I didn’t mean it. It’s just that I’m too scared of losing you for good because I have this feeling that I won’t feel like this ever again; I’m afraid I’ll have to lose this part of myself that feels genuinely in love with someone. I thought we were made for each other. I thought you were one of my soulmates. I still think we are. But we keep fucking it up every single time. I won’t lie; I’m fine some days, but the smallest things break me. I know it’s not your fault that I’m so damn sensitive, but my feelings have always been this intense, this is who I am, and I was hoping that you would learn to love the whole mess that I am just as much as I love yours. It’s not that I can’t be with someone else and forget about you—I know I can—but I don’t want to be without you. I don’t know what it is about this day, but my head feels so much heavier when we’re having problems. I feel mad at you, and I bet you’re mad at me, too. Have I always been this hard? Or are you just realizing that being with me is a lot of work and I’m not worth it? I’m not ready to let you go. You’re the only guy I’ve ever wanted to keep around. You treat me so well when we’re together. I love when you take my hand in yours. I love every time it’s just you and me, and we talk about life. There’s no one for me but you. You’re the only face I can see. I hope you know I’m only pretending to hate you when I love you so much. After all, I’ll always hope it’s you and me in the end. I’m happy if I get to be with you.”

That was seven fucking years ago. Funny huh?

It was never supposed to turn out like this. Who would’ve thought that someone could pull you down like this under the guise of love? Was it really only an individual’s fault?

Did it keep going because no one wanted to be the bad guy? If we didn’t have feelings for each other, if we didn’t think of each other, would we have dragged it on like this?

Those words played over and over again in your head. Whenever you came to be together again, that was eventually all you wondered about.

That first letter was born when the first layer that was blinding you was uncovered. It was as if something was finally letting you see the shape of the person Yoongi was—or at least the person he was with you.

Next year. The second “letter” came.

“Everything’s been so weird lately. I don’t get you. You didn’t talk to me for three days, yet you still think I’ll say yes when you want to see me late at night when you finally feel like it? Seriously? I’m angry at you, but mostly, I’m angry at myself. How can I be so blind to not realize that nothing will ever happen between us? Why am I still here? I know it’s because I want to be with someone, but maybe that person is not you. Because if you wanted to, we would be something by now. I know you won’t ever change because it’s been 2 years since this started, and you’re still the same. Maybe I fell in love with the hope and longing. All I did was imagine myself with you, I thought I was being patient about us. I can’t help but be a hopeless romantic, that’s all I’ve been my whole life. Occasionally, I find myself doing dumb shit all the time, like apologizing to the stars on behalf of both of us for not keeping our promises. I’ve been thinking about how sad I have been lately. Telling myself I’m stupid for loving you after all you’ve made me go through, how useless I feel, and how painful every day gets, honestly, this love I feel for you is making me crazy. But I shouldn’t be worrying about this. I know it may seem complicated to live with a broken heart, crying until your tears make you blind. I keep saying to myself, “It’s time you get yourself together, fall in love with yourself again, and forgive yourself for thinking you were stupid when you only acted out of love for someone who couldn’t see all you were.” But let’s be honest, being aware of all this still doesn’t make it any easier. I still feel so lost. And confused. I wish I knew how to stop loving you. I miss my peace of mind. I know what I’m supposed to do but don’t know where to start. I know that one day we’ll cross paths again, and I won’t feel a thing anymore, but until then, I’ll keep trying to convince myself that I don’t want you anymore. What have you done to me? What have I done to myself? What is it about you that ended up putting me through this hell? For the past few months, we barely saw each other. I still remember the last words we exchanged, and I feel sick, I keep wishing you would’ve done something else, hoping you would’ve said something different, but wishing for this doesn’t matter anymore, I’ll just keep hurting myself if I keep thinking about this version of you that I kept romanticizing. I’m tired now. All this was too much for me. But let me tell you one thing. I never even thought for a second that I was wasting my time with you. Not even when all my friends told me so. I took pride in myself for “knowing” when a guy doesn’t want you, but you were so confusing. You used to always be there. You knew exactly what to do and what to say so I could keep my love alive, making me think that maybe one day we would be together, but now I’m truly fed up with you. I’m angry. I know I can live without talking to you, but I don’t think I can be in the same room with you and not feel a thing. I’m telling you this because I want you to understand me. I want us to end on good terms because I know it’ll be impossible for us to stop seeing each other. So please help me, because this won’t be easy for me. I still care about you. I love you, but I can’t do this anymore. I need to keep crying, but understand me, I’m not crying for you. It’s just that I have so much inside me that I could never say to you. I know now that I was too much for you.”

In the span of two years, all that relationship lay before your eyes, yet somehow you didn’t want to see it. You decided to keep your hope alive even if it hurt you.

Several breakups between the two of you. A few relationships with other people in the middle of it all. Countless times you wanted to run to him just one more time. The occasional texts came from him, asking how you were and if you wanted to meet again.

You tried to be strong most of the time. You even felt you had gotten over Yoongi on every period where you’d stopped running into him. Those were the times when it was easy. But it was also quite embarrassing how quickly you’d fall into his trap once he got into your head again.

So yeah, you caved in after that kiss from last night.

You were letting this happen. You wanted this on this occasion.

It should be fine, right?

Eventually, after a few weeks, both of you started sorting out your emotions and everything felt pretty normal again.

Why do I make things so complicated when there’s no need to?

You can’t help but doubt yourself and doubt him. You want to know what’s in his head, yet you know it should be enough for you that he wants to keep seeing you.

All these doubts made you realize that maybe, just maybe, you’re treating this in the same way you would’ve years ago.

Just focus on the now.

Aside from that…

You like him very much. He can talk about a bunch of things with you. He can be cute when he wants to be. You used to have a lot in common in terms of music. You like his style. And let’s not get started on his tattoos. ON TOP OF THAT, HIS ARMS. For some weird reason, I always forget he has dimples.

Ultimately, years pass and you always run back to him. You genuinely enjoy being in the same room as him.

No one has gotten close to how he makes you feel. Every time you see him again, everything feels the same. Your feelings towards him haven’t changed.

The two people connected by the red thread are destined lovers, regardless of place, time, or circumstances. This magical cord may stretch or tangle but never break.

A month later

Ah, shit.

You were having a relatively good weekend. It was the 4th of July. You spent it with your family and now it was almost midnight but you were still texting with your best friend. She was at a party with Sam, Jess, and all the guys. You were experiencing a mild fomo, but you had a deal with your parents, so you had to pass that party this time.

Even Jungkook texted you earlier asking why you weren’t there. But that’s another story.

Your best friend was getting drunker with every text she sent, but she had put herself on the task of updating you with all of Yoongi’s whereabouts and doings.

I mean go ahead I guess. It makes me feel like it’s my fault for not showing enough interest again. This is making me uneasy. Because I like him but turns out he doesn’t like me enough? I WANT TO SCREAM.

I shouldn’t be angry because it’s my fault. I know so. I’m not trying enough, and maybe this was bound to happen. I can’t ask him to just talk to me. He needs to live his life too, he’s human, and he gets tired of waiting for someone who doesn’t seem “invested” in him. FUCK.

He ended up coming to your place around 1 a.m.

And this time, you actually talked. You were worried he’d drank too much, but he showed to be as sober as one can be.

Before he got there, you were extremely nervous, but once you sat with him on your couch, all your tension and fears calmed down. You valued that he was able to make you feel that way.

Your feelings went on a rollercoaster in a matter of a few hours, it was so fucking strange to read those words. To paint yourself a picture of what Yoongi was doing with you.

“Why weren’t you at the party?”

“I spent the whole weekend with my parents, so I couldn’t go.” “I wanted to, though.”

“It would’ve been cool if you had gone, everyone was asking about you.”

A smirk appeared on your face. “And what did you tell ’em?”

“That you didn’t want to see me,” He joked.

You started playing with him.

“That’s sliiightly true,”

After that, he laughed but got closer to you. He even got a lot more talkative, narrating to you everything he and your friends did earlier on. You were pretty entranced in him. It’s risky when you love to hear someone just talk. He took in the way you were gazing at him and figured there was no point in wasting more time. It was obvious Yoongi only went to your place to see if he was getting lucky tonight.

You realized his face was inching closer to yours. Your eyes scanning his own. Him doing the same, with the occasional glance at your lips. You weren’t gonna kiss him. Still, you let him get close enough so your lips could brush each other.

Then you smiled.

You weren’t gonna miss the chance to let him try to explain to you what the hell was going on, so you thought you’d go straight to the point.

“Can I ask you something?”

He returned your smile.

“Wait, let me guess”- “You want to know if I have a girlfriend”.

Motherfucker.

Your smile faltered slightly at him guessing the question, but he maintained eye contact with you. “Yeah, I figured that’s what you wanted to ask,” he replied. His tone is a mix of playfulness and seriousness. “No, I don’t have a girlfriend.”

The way his mind immediately went there. We’ll worry about that later.

Yoongi’s words echoed in your ears, you couldn’t help but believe him. There was something about his voice, his gaze, that made you blindly trust his every word.

Yoongi’s expression softened, his gaze unwavering. “I want you to know that I’m being genuine right now. I don’t have a girlfriend, I’m not seeing anybody formally, romantically, emotionally, or whatever you imagined. I want to give us a chance to make things right for you.”

You clung to the hope that this time he was telling the truth.

A sense of relief washed over you as you leaned closer to Yoongi. Ignoring the cautionary whispers in the back of your mind, you let yourself be swept away by his intoxicating presence.

His lips met yours in a passionate kiss, and for a moment, it felt like all your doubts and worries faded away.

Days turned into weeks, and you reveled in the blissful illusion of having Yoongi in your life once again. Yoongi seemed attentive, caring, and utterly devoted to you. He showered you with affection, making you believe that you were his only one this time.

Over the next months, your interactions with Yoongi were limited to texts. There were no dates or visits to your house or his place, for that matter. It’s like he was growing bored. But that’s nothing new anymore.

You started to grow tired of his refusal to let you go, even if he didn’t like you the way you liked him. You knew it was time to move on and find someone who would honestly reciprocate your feelings.

And then, on a spontaneous note, one day, you stumbled upon someone through Instagram.

thv replied to your story.

It started with you two sending each other songs for a few days.

Then, when you got to actually talk to him. You realized he was funny, his music taste almost immaculate, he was extremely nice to you, and he cared about what you had to say. You basically had the same interests. And hands down, you enjoyed talking to him a lot.

Ever since you started talking to this new guy, called Taehyung, you felt like something had shifted in your life. And it’s only been 3 days since then.

This time, it turned out you were wrong. Wrong about everything.

I can’t regret anything, because I tried, I wholeheartedly tried. I don’t plan to try and understand him anymore.

Yoongi had been lying through his teeth the whole time. He did have a girlfriend, and he reveled in his power over you. He enjoyed playing with your emotions, relishing in his control over you.

You found out a few days ago, and you struggled to know what to do. You weren’t going to just ghost him. You couldn’t pass up the opportunity to be passive-aggressive toward him, and it showed in your texts.

But you weren’t counting on that he was even more of a cynic than you. And you were getting angrier that he wouldn’t accept anything and refused to let the conversation die.

So yeah, it took 3 days.

It took you that long to get yourself way ahead of everything. About Taehyung specifically.

You don’t remember having met him before.

If only you knew that he remembers the first time he saw you in college and several parties after that.

He’d grown attracted to you every time he saw you. However, you never once seemed to acknowledge his presence.

And don’t get him wrong. He didn’t mind. You were just a platonic interest. Somehow he knew you weren’t exactly available even if he never saw you with a guy before.

He just took his chance a few days ago, not expecting anything. Just with the simple excuse of finally getting to know you.

He was a good listener, interested in your thoughts. With each message exchanged, your connection grew extremely fast.

This got you scared. You had barely talked to him and were already getting VERY INTERESTED.

On the fourth day, he invited you to the movies, but ended up going out to two bars and then dancing.

You shared even more stories, talked about your dreams, and even found yourselves discussing your insecurities in your love life.

Taehyung made you feel seen, heard, and valued – something you hadn’t felt in a long time. He was patient and understood your reservations.

On the cab, in the way back to your place, you rested your head on his shoulder, hand in hand, you truly felt so calm, it had been the nicest date ever.

Hell, you haven’t even had a proper date in years. So, no one can blame you when you finally let yourself be vulnerable for once.

Taehyung knew he’d like you, but never to this extent. He wasn’t scared when he realized he was falling in love with you. All he wanted was to see you every single day from now on. He took the initiative to plan a date next week, but you went out of town to visit your cousin.

So Monday it is. There was only one thing that you had to take care of. Before you let yourself move on to the next step in your love life.

Dealing with Yoongi was getting tiring, so it finally happened. The long overdue conversation occurred. Over texts, but it happened.

For once, you didn’t see the point in continuing. You and Yoongi have been through this road way too many times, and nothing has changed.

You decided to cut ties with Yoongi for good on that Monday. From now on, Taehyung could be the only one in your head.

As you were getting ready for your date with Taehyung, you couldn’t help but think about your conversation with Yoongi just a few hours ago. It was strange how life presented you with new opportunities right on the heels of letting go of the past. The decision to leave Yoongi was still fresh in your mind, but you hoped that this date with Taehyung would make you feel different, as bad as it could sound, but a distraction to that awful bit.

Taehyung took you to the movies, and from the moment the film began, your hands found each other’s, fingers intertwining. The dimly lit theater provided the perfect backdrop for this quiet display of affection. The movie itself was fun at times, but it was almost a blur of scenes and dialogue because your attention was elsewhere. You didn’t realize that Taehyung also spent that entire hour and a half not watching the movie, but watching you. He observed the way your eyes lit up at the funny parts, the sound of your laughter made his heart skip a beat. It was as if he had his own private screening of your reactions, and to him, it was the most captivating thing in the world.

The next stop on your adventure was an arcade, a place filled with flashing lights and the noise of all the games you can imagine. You couldn’t resist the air hockey table, and without hesitation, you both grabbed the paddles. As the puck glided across the smooth surface, it was evident that both of you were really good at it. Soon, a couple of small kids had gathered around, their eyes wide with fascination as they watched you play.

Taehyung, multitasking effortlessly, started chatting with them while maintaining his competitive spirit. A little girl, no older than seven, stood beside you, her eyes sparkling with innocence. She looked up at you with a hopeful smile and asked, “Are you going to beat your boyfriend?” Her question caught you off guard, and you burst into laughter at her adorable bluntness. Taehyung, engrossed in his conversation with the other kids, didn’t hear the question. All he could see was how your laughter sounded like the sweetest melody in the world.

Distracted by your laugh, Taehyung lost to you in the game. The little kids erupted in cheers, celebrating your victory as if you had just won a championship. They eagerly lined up to give you high-fives, momentarily forgetting that Taehyung even existed. That was until he, still keen on entertaining the kids, asked if they knew how to play. The result was an excited chorus of enthusiastic and loud ‘yes’s’.

It was an endearing sight as Taehyung listened attentively to the kids. Meanwhile, you couldn’t help but smile at how easily he connected with them.

“Okay, guys, what’s the next game we should play?” Taehyung asked, genuinely intrigued by their suggestions.

The kids seemed to have a dozen ideas at once, and it was all a jumble of arcade classics, from racing games to shooting hoops. One girl, with a mischievous glint in her eye, pointed at the dance machine in the corner.

“Can we try that dance game?” she asked, her excitement infectious.

Taehyung exchanged a playful glance with you, and you both agreed, despite the potential embarrassment that awaited you. The music blared from the machine, and you gave it your all, dancing like nobody was watching (except a group of kids, of course). Taehyung joined in nervously, even though his dancing skills were almost too good.

The kids burst into laughter at everyone’s dance moves, cheering you on with each step. It was one of those moments where embarrassment turned into pure joy, and you couldn’t have cared less about who was watching.

It was heartwarming to see him engage with them, making sure each child had a good time. After making sure the kids had enough tokens to keep playing, Taehyung gently took your hand, and together you wandered through the arcade. The place was a riot of flashing lights and game sounds, but it all faded into the background as you explored hand in hand.

Eventually, you came across the game involving knocking down rows of clown figures. You both paused, taking in the challenge. With the timer ticking down, Taehyung turned to you. His eyes sparkled with affection, and amidst the blinking lights and arcade tunes, he asked, “Can I kiss you?”

You paused for a moment, your heart racing as you looked into Taehyung’s eyes. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to kiss him - far from it. In fact, you felt a strong pull towards him, a connection that seemed to grow with every passing second. Even more so, after the side of him you saw today.

But there was something holding you back, a nagging doubt that whispered in the back of your mind. You had just met Taehyung, and even though the chemistry between you two was sweet, you wanted to take things slow. You didn’t want to rush into anything, not after what you’d been through with Yoongi.

So, with a soft smile, you gently shook your head and replied, “Not yet.” It was a response that carried a promise, a promise that there would be time for kisses and more in the future, once you were both ready to take that step. Taehyung nodded understandingly, his smile mirroring your own, and you continued your adventure to a bar, still hand in hand.

As you settled into a cozy corner of the bar, the atmosphere shifted, becoming more intimate. The soft hum of conversation, clinking glasses, and mellow jazz music in the background created the perfect backdrop for a meaningful conversation.

You started by talking about your time at the arcade, laughing about how the kids had cheered for you when you won the game. Taehyung joined in, sharing his amusement at their excitement. It was a light and joyful conversation that made you feel even closer to him.

Taehyung was genuinely interested in getting to know you better. He asked about your family, and you shared stories about your parents and siblings. In turn, he spoke fondly about his own family, reminiscing about childhood memories and you noticed how much he loved them.

Work became the next topic of discussion. You both talked about your careers, your aspirations, and the challenges you faced in life. Taehyung’s dedication and passion for his job shone through, and you found yourself admiring his determination.

As the night wore on, the conversation deepened. You talked about life, dreams, and the things that truly mattered to you. It was a conversation that left you feeling a sense of connection you hadn’t experienced in a long time. You realized that this was different from anything you had with Yoongi, something that was still scary to you.

As the night progressed and the conversation with Taehyung deepened, you couldn’t help but notice the stark contrast between him and Yoongi. Taehyung’s genuine interest in getting to know you, his kindness, and his openness were like a breath of fresh air compared to the complexity and uncertainty of your history with Yoongi.

The realization that this connection with Taehyung was different, something new and potentially beautiful, both excited and scared you. It was scary because it meant stepping out of your comfort zone, venturing into unfamiliar territory, and leaving behind the emotional rollercoaster that had defined your relationship with Yoongi.

But that fear didn’t deter you. In fact, it fueled a sense of courage you hadn’t felt in a long time. Maybe you were ready to embrace something real, something stable, and something built on honesty and trust. It was a daunting prospect, but for the first time in a while, it might be worth taking that leap into the unknown.

The night had stretched on longer than you had initially planned, but you didn’t mind one bit. In fact, you didn’t want it to end.

As Taehyung’s car pulled up to your place, reality seemed to rush back in. With the engine turned off and the night’s silence settling around you, you both remained seated in the car. It was one of those moments where time felt suspended, and neither of you seemed in a hurry to say goodbye.

You gazed into Taehyung’s eyes, his warm and sincere gaze locked onto yours. Your heart pounded in your chest as you felt a mix of anticipation and nervousness. You knew what you wanted, and in this moment, you felt a surge of courage you hadn’t experienced before.

Taehyung’s voice was soft, barely above a whisper, as he said, “I had a really great time tonight.”

You smiled, your heart racing. “Me too,” you admitted, your voice equally hushed.

For a moment, neither of you moved, the weight of the unspoken words hanging in the air.

Finally, you took a deep breath, your nervousness mingling with excitement. “Taehyung, can I ask you something?”

His eyes were curious. “Of course.”

Without overthinking it, you leaned in, closing the gap between you and Taehyung. In the dimly lit car, your lips finally met a gentle and electrifying connection that seemed to seal the promise of something new, something real.

As you pulled away, your foreheads touching, you whispered, “I’ve actually been wanting to do that all night.”

Taehyung chuckled, feeling a newfound hope. “Me too.”

Unable to resist kissing him way longer, you reached out again. The kiss started slow, a tantalizing exploration of each other’s lips. Your mouth was warm and inviting, and Taehyung couldn’t resist the urge to deepen the kiss.

Your lips moved together with a fiery passion, tongues dancing in a tango. There were no more words, just the intoxicating taste of each other. Your hands roamed, tracing all of his torso, igniting a fiery desire within both of you.

Taehyung bit your lower lip, sending shivers down your spine, and you responded with a soft moan. Your fingers tangled in his hair, pulling him closer as the kiss grew more fervent. It was a hunger that had been building all night, and now it was impossible to contain.

The kiss was wild, a passionate exchange, a language of desire and longing. You explored every inch of each other’s mouths, savoring the taste of your newfound connection.

When you finally pulled away, both of you were left breathless, lips swollen and hearts pounding. Taehyung’s eyes bore into yours, filled with an intensity that matched the fiery kiss you had just shared.

He whispered, his voice husky, “I’ve wanted to do that since the moment I saw you.”

You grinned, your own desire burning bright. “I’m glad we finally did.”

As you entered your home, the soft glow of your phone illuminated the room. You couldn’t help but smile as you saw a series of texts from Taehyung, sent with an urgency that mirrored the fiery passion of your kiss.

From that moment on, there wasn’t a single time of day when you weren’t texting each other. The connection between you two was electric, and it seemed like every message, every word, only deepened your bond. It didn’t take long for Taehyung to invite you again on a date, and he chose a taproom for the occasion.

Taehyung arrived the following Saturday at your doorstep around 7 p.m., his charming smile lighting up the evening. Dressed casually but looking effortlessly handsome, he greeted you warmly.

“Hey there,” he said, his voice a pleasant melody. “Ready for our night out?”

With a nod and an excited smile, you locked the door behind you and joined him. The short drive to the taproom was filled with easy conversation and soft laughs. When you arrived, you were greeted not just by the cozy atmosphere of the taproom but also by some of Taehyung’s friends who had already gathered there.

Taehyung couldn’t contain his excitement about introducing you to his friends. He made the rounds, enthusiastically presenting you to each one of them, his introductions filled with admiration. As the evening went on, his friends couldn’t help but tease you both when they knew you weren’t officially a couple.

However, that made them gush about Taehyung. They spoke of his kindness, his sense of humor, and his unwavering loyalty. They assured you that you’d found someone truly special, and it was clear they thought he’d done the same in finding you.

Throughout the night, amidst the clinking of glasses and the hum of conversation, you couldn’t help but feel a sense of warmth and belonging. Taehyung’s friends were welcoming, and their approval only added to the unique feeling of the evening.

As the night continued, the connection between you and Taehyung deepened. Your hands naturally gravitated towards each other, fingers interlacing as if they had always belonged together. There was a palpable comfort in being so close, and the world around you seemed to fade into the background.

In the midst of this enchanting evening, a message from Sam popped up on your phone. She was suggesting a plan for tomorrow - a baseball game. Without a moment’s hesitation, you enthusiastically said yes.

But what made your heart race, even more, was the eagerness to include Taehyung in your plans. You turned to him, a radiant smile on your face, and said, “Hey, my friends just invited me to a baseball game tomorrow. Do you want to join us? It’d be amazing if you’d come with me.”

His eyes lit up with delight at the invitation, and he nodded, “yeah, I’d love to be there with you.”

It felt like a natural step, merging your separate worlds and bringing Taehyung closer to your heart.

In your world, your friends were your anchors, your family, and the people who knew you best. If someone couldn’t fit into that crucial part of your life, it was often a telling sign that the relationship might not make it.

As you looked forward to the baseball game the next day, there was a mixture of excitement and nervousness. You believed in Taehyung and the genuine connection you shared, but there was always that sliver of doubt. Would he mesh well with your friends? Would they see what you saw in him?

But deep down, you had a feeling that this was a significant step. If Taehyung could seamlessly become a part of your world, it would be a powerful confirmation of your relationship.

Thoughts of tomorrow’s baseball game, and the potential changes it might bring, had temporarily vanished. All you craved at that moment were the hugs, kisses, and the warmth of holding Taehyung’s hand.

The atmosphere seemed to hum with your love surge, an electric charge that coursed through you, making every moment feel like a heart-pounding adventure. As you bid farewell to Taehyung’s friends, you couldn’t wait to be alone with him, to dance again at the same bar where your love story began.

Tonight, something was different. Your excitement was on an all-time high. The tension that had built up between you over the last dates, the unspoken desires and emotions, were now rising to the surface. The connection between you two was undeniable, and your touches were igniting sparks that seemed to intensify with each passing second.

In the dimly lit bar, the pulsating beat of the music coursed through your veins, syncing with your every move. The atmosphere was charged with anticipation, and as you moved to the rhythm, your dance became a sensual invitation. Your body swayed and undulated in harmony with the music, your hips swiveling provocatively to the seductive melodies.

Taehyung watched you with desire burning in his eyes, unable to resist the magnetic pull you had on him. Your dance was a mesmerizing display of confidence and allure. Your hands moved sensually across your own body, tracing the curves and contours that begged for his touch.

Unable to contain himself any longer, Taehyung stepped closer, his hands finding their way to your hips. His touch was electric, sending shivers down your spine. His fingers traced the curve of your waist, pulling you closer to him as he succumbed to the same fiery rhythm.

Your bodies moved together, pressed intimately against each other. The heat between you grew with every tantalizing sway, and the world around you faded into obscurity. In that moment, there was only the two of you, lost in the lights of desire and passion, each movement drawing you closer to an inevitable collision of lips and bodies.

As the night at the bar wore on, the two of you shared more than just dances. After one particularly intense moment, you found yourself with your back pressed against Taehyung’s chest, the thumping bass of the music reverberating through both of you. His breath was warm against your ear, sending delightful shivers down your spine. In that space, with his arms wrapped around your waist, it felt as if the world had disappeared, leaving only the sensation of his closeness and the rhythmic beating of your hearts in unison.

Between dances, you took breaks to calm yourselves with a beer or whatever drink you saw first at the bar. Each moment spent apart only seemed to fuel the intensity of your attraction. With every sip of your drink, you couldn’t help but glance back at Taehyung, a magnetic pull drawing you together once more. The atmosphere was heady with desire, and your chemistry was through the roof. Each dance, each stolen moment, was a step closer to something neither of you could resist any longer.

After those couple of hours of dancing that left you slightly breathless, you decided to seek refuge in one of the dimly lit booths at the corner of the bar. It provided a temporary sanctuary from the dance floor, allowing you to catch your breath and collect your thoughts amidst the lust that was echoing in your ears. The low hum of laughter and conversation from people around you provided a calming backdrop as you settled in, your heart still racing from the intimate moment with Taehyung, who had managed to stir emotions you hadn’t felt in quite some time.

He slid into the seat opposite you, his eyes locked onto yours with an intensity that sent shivers through your body. In the closeness that the booth offered, you could feel something deeper between you. It was as though the music, which had once enveloped you in its intoxicating embrace, was reduced to a mere murmur in the back.

With a playful grin, Taehyung finally broke the silence that had settled between you. “You know,” he began, his voice a low, seductive murmur, “I think we might just be causing a lot of jealous looks in here.”

You chuckled, the sound husky and filled with desire. “I noticed.”

His fingers traced patterns on the table, drawing invisible lines as he continued, “It’s not just about dancing, though. I’ve been imagining being with you like this since the first time I laid eyes on you, and it’s been killing me all night.”

You met his gaze, your heart pounding in your ears as you whispered, “Since the first time you saw me?” Not trusting yourself enough to say what you were really thinking, so you mirrored his words.

Taehyung’s hand reached across the table, his fingers lightly brushing against yours. “I can’t keep my composure anymore,” he admitted, his eyes never leaving yours. “I’ve been thinking about more than this all week.”

He paused, his gaze locked onto yours with a smoldering intensity. “You know,” he added with a sultry smile, “seeing you getting along so well with my best friends earlier, it just… made me so hard.”

The anticipation hung in the air like a charged current, a palpable magnetism drawing you closer together. It was a sensation you couldn’t ignore, a magnetic pull that seemed destined to ignite into something more profound.

You bit your lip, your pupils were blown, unable to contain the emotions surging within you. “Taehyung,” you began, your voice barely above a whisper, “if you keep this up, I think I might fall in love with you.”

His eyes sparkled with a mix of desire and affection as he leaned in closer. “Is that so?” he murmured, his lips tantalizingly close to yours. “Maybe that’s exactly what I want.”

Moments later, Taehyung led you to his apartment.

“I’m glad that we can finally be together like this.” He said with a sincere smile, his hand moving lower to cup your ass. He couldn’t resist anymore; he had to have you right then and there.

He slid his hand under your skirt, feeling the smoothness of your skin against his fingertips. Traced the outline of your panties through the fabric of your bottom. Taehyung felt a wave of arousal wash over him as he painted himself a picture of what lay beneath. Slowly, he slid his hands up your legs until he reached the hem of your panties. With a gentle tug, he pulled them down, revealing your wetness to him.

The sudden exposure caused you to blush slightly, but it only fueled his desire further. You couldn’t help but moan at the feeling of what came next “*Aren’t you going to see how wet I got because you?”

He leaned in and gave you a soft kiss on the cheek, then gently placed his hand on your inner thigh. As he did so, he whispered in your ear. “Do you really want me to do this?”

“I want this, trust me.”

He slid his hand up higher, feeling the warmth and dampness of your cunt. He could hear your soft gasps and moans as he touched your pussy. He continued to stroke you gently, feeling your muscles tighten around his fingers.

He heard your moans and started to become even more aroused. He could feel his own hard on growing in his pants, and he knew that it would only be a matter of time before you both got carried away. He slowly pulled back from you and looked into your eyes, his face flushed red with desire. You could tell that he was just as affected as you were.

You nodded, your eyes locked with his as desire coursed through your veins. You breathed, “I want you to touch me. I need your hands in me.”

A low growl rumbled in Taehyung’s throat as he gave you a hungry look, his fingers inching closer to your dripping core. “Fuck,” he muttered, unable to contain his own need. “I’ve been dreaming about this for days. About burying myself deep inside you.”

The raw desire in his words sent shivers down your spine, igniting a fire within you that burned hotter with each passing second. You could feel the wetness pooling between your legs, desperate for his touch.

His fingers brushed against the sensitive skin of your inner thighs, teasingly avoiding direct contact with where you needed him most. The anticipation was almost unbearable as you fought to maintain a hint of control.

“Please, Taehyung,” you whimpered, “don’t make me wait.”

A wolfish grin tugged at the corners of Taehyung’s lips as he finally gave in to both of your desires. His fingers dipped into your wet heat, eliciting a moan from deep within your throat.

“You’re so fucking wet for me,” he groaned, his voice rough with lust. “Did I make you this way? Did I make that pretty little pussy of yours ache for me?”

All coherent thought flew out the window as Taehyung pumped his fingers inside of you, hitting all the right spots that made pleasure surge through every nerve ending in your body. You could only manage to nod and let out a desperate moan in response.

He wrapped his other hand around your neck, pulling you closer to him. He could feel your pulse racing beneath his fingers, and he knew that you were enjoying this a lot.

He started to apply pressure to your neck, feeling your body respond to his touch. You let out a small gasp of air, and as he continued to choke you, he leaned in closer to your ear and whispered. “Do you like this, baby? Is this what you wanted?”

His thumb found its way to your clit, circling the swollen bud and sending jolts of electricity straight to where you needed it most. The pleasure was overwhelming, bordering on blissful torture, as he brought you closer and closer to the edge.

“Cum for me, baby,” Taehyung whispered, his hot breath fanning across your ear. “I want to feel you cum around my fingers.”

His words were all it took to push you over the edge. The coil of pleasure that had been building inside of you snapped, sending waves of ecstasy crashing through your body. You clung to him as you rode out your orgasm, his touch the only anchor keeping you grounded in a sea of sensations.

As the last tremors of pleasure receded, Taehyung pulled his hand away and brought it up to his lips, sucking your taste off his fingers with a look of pure satisfaction on his face.

After a few hours spent in tangled in touches, the clock ticked its way to 4 a.m., signaling the impending end of the night’s bliss. Despite the energy that was bubbling up between you, the evening hadn’t ventured beyond the boundaries of those lewd touches, leaving something else lingering in the air. As the minutes kept passing, a sense of reality nudged its way back into the forefront of your mind.

“You’re even sweeter than I imagined,” Taehyung’s voice, thick with desire, caressed the dimly lit room, echoing the sentiments of the night.

With a hazed smile playing on your lips, you gently disentangled yourself from Taehyung’s embrace, the need for rest tugging at your consciousness. “I have to go home, Taehyung,” you murmured softly, your words tinged with regret at the thought of parting, “I should get some actual sleep if we want to spend the whole day together again.”

Your fingers traced soothing circles along his shoulders, a silent reassurance of your affection. “You are coming with me tomorrow, right?” you queried, hope flickering in your eyes as you awaited his response.

In the hazy glow of his room, Taehyung’s gaze met yours, a promise dancing in his eyes. “Absolutely,” he affirmed, his voice laced with determination, “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

With a final exchange of tender kisses and lingering glances, you reluctantly bid farewell to Taehyung’s warm embrace, bracing yourself for your way home.

Despite the lingering effects of last night’s alcohol roaming your body, a surge of adrenaline pulsed through your veins as you rolled out of bed, battling against the persistent fog of a very hungover you. With each groggy step towards the bathroom, the anticipation of the day ahead infused your weary limbs with energy, overriding the dull ache in your head.

As you splashed cool water on your face, the mirror reflected a mix of exhaustion and excitement in your eyes. Today was the day you’d introduce Taehyung to your best friends, a prospect that filled you with nerves. The thought of seeing their reactions, of sharing this part of your life with them, ignited a spark within you.

After downing a much-needed glass of water and popping a couple of painkillers to combat the lingering headache, you set about getting ready for the day. Despite the persistent throb at your temples, you couldn’t help but hum a tune under your breath, the thrill of today’s plan chasing away the last traces of drowsiness.

With each minute, the excitement grew, the clock ticking in slow motion as you counted down the moments until Taehyung went to pick you up. Finally, the sound of the doorbell shattered the quiet of the morning, heralding the arrival of your lover boy.

With a quick glance in the mirror to ensure you looked somewhat presentable despite feeling like shit, you hurried to answer the door, a smile of genuine delight spreading across your face at the sight of Taehyung standing on your doorstep, two large cups of coffee in hand and a grin that mirrored your own excitement.

“There we have my pretty and hungover girl,” he greeted you warmly, his eyes alight with anticipation, “are we all set for the big day?”

With a nod and a grin, you took the cup he handed you, the aroma wafting up to greet your senses. “Definitely”.

As you and Taehyung arrived at the stadium, the vibrant atmosphere of the bustling crowd greeted you with a wave of excitement. Sam, Gemma, and Jin were already waiting for you near the entrance, their infectious laughter echoing in the air as they exchanged playful banter.

“Hey, look who finally decided to show up!” Sam exclaimed, her grin widening as she caught sight of you and Taehyung approaching. “And who’s this handsome stranger you’ve brought along?”

lmk if you're up for reading the second part of this mess 🤭 bonus. just a little jungkookie for fun

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syuga-s · 21 days

Note

I lovedddddd your new joon fic ♥️

AAAA!! i'm really glad you did, thank u for taking the time to read it and telling me this 🥹🩷

I'll try to get more fics done this month!!!

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syuga-s · 22 days

Text

when i'm quiet on the other side, know that i'm loving you

w.c. around 12k 🤭 pairing. Namjoon x female!reader (also Jungkook & reader used to be together) genre. Smut. friends to lovers-ish, pwp, angst (bc it wouldn't be me if there wasn't angst lmao), more pwp, AND FLUFF OFC a/n. NSFW MDNI !!! curse words, alcohol mention, sexual content (fingering, unprotected vaginal penetration, oral m&f!receiving, creampie) ENJOY, let me know if I missed anything okay? <3

You couldn’t help but wonder how different things might have been if you had made a different choice that night so many months ago.

“Did you go out tonight?”

“I didn’t, you?”

“Nah, it’s way too cold tonight, lol,” “I want us to go for a drink though”

“Last week was way colder than tonight lmao”, “when?”

“Tomorrow, is that okay?”

“Yeah tomorrow works, I’m free after 5”

“Pick you up at 7 then.”

Seven moons waxed and waned, each night bearing the weight of a silent longing that lingered in the spaces between heartbeats. In the quiet of those months, the echoes of your last conversation with Jungkook reverberated like whispered secrets carried on the wind, haunting yet distant. Despite growing even closer with Namjoon, part of you remained tethered to the memories of what could have been.

You didn’t remember how this started. Until you honestly stopped to think about it, that is.

You met Namjoon through some mutual friends. Every time you went out with them, he seemed to be there. At first, you didn’t think much of him. He was a cool guy, and all your friends were in love with him, but to you, he was just Namjoon.

Your heart was set on someone else, that being one of the main reasons for your way of thinking.

You thought that Jungkook was finally out of your life. After all those months where he kept you hoping that you’d be together, you opened your eyes and understood that being with him was taking you nowhere.

It wasn’t after two years of being on and off with Jungkook that this mess started to happen. But this isn’t about him anymore. It’s what has been happening ever since.

Several months passed, and you had a trip coming up to Barcelona. Not even a day passed when you found out Namjoon and another one of your mutual friends were in the exact same city as you, at the same time.

You were with some of your college friends. You’d been here for about two days, and all your expectations from this week were below average—until that text came to you.

“I want to see you.”

As Namjoon’s text message flashed on your phone screen, a wave of mixed emotions coursed through you. Memories of seeing him at mutual gatherings, his magnetic charisma, and the undeniable chemistry you both shared suddenly flooded your mind. You couldn’t deny the thrill that his message brought. So, you agreed to meet, not really knowing what to expect.

That night in Barcelona, you and Namjoon decided to explore the city’s vibrant nightlife. The streets were alive with the energy of locals and tourists alike, and the possibilities seemed endless. As you walked through the illuminated streets, the conversation flowed effortlessly.

Namjoon turned to you with a playful glint in his eye. “Barcelona sure knows how to stay alive at night, right?”

You nodded, taking in the enchanting atmosphere. “It does, another city that never sleeps.”

That particular night in Barcelona, you and Namjoon didn’t dwell on the complexities of your dynamic. Instead, you focused on the here and now, indulging in the city’s vibrant nightlife. The streets were alive with the pulsating rhythms of music, and the possibilities for adventure seemed endless.

As you hopped from one lively club to another, the music enveloped you, and you both let loose. You danced together, swaying to the intoxicating beats with occasional laughter and shared glances that needed no words. Namjoon’s occasional hand on your waist or his deep voice softly spoken into your ear amidst the music created a sense of electric chemistry.

In the middle of it all, you reached a state of drunken bliss where the world seemed to blur, and nothing else mattered but the man in front of you. The two of you laughed uncontrollably at inside jokes that would be etched in your mind forever.

It was a night of liberation. The beauty of Barcelona’s nightlife and the intoxication of the moment allowed you to escape into a realm of pure joy.

As the night peaked, the connection between you and Namjoon became more intimate. The night transitioned seamlessly from the vibrant energy of the city to the warmth and comfort of Namjoon’s room.

As you stood on the balcony of Namjoon’s room, overlooking the twinkling city lights below, you felt the warmth of his body radiating towards you. You leaned back against the railing, your heart pounding as you looked up at him. He was so close, yet so far away.

Namjoon’s gaze locked onto you, and he could see the desire burning within your eyes. He felt his own heart quicken, his breath hitching in his throat as he moved closer to you. He reached out, brushing a stray lock of hair from your face, his touch sending shivers down your spine.

“Namjoon,” you whispered, your voice trembling with need.

He leaned in, his lips brushing against yours in a gentle kiss. You melted into him, your arms wrapping around his neck as you deepened the kiss. You could feel his heart pounding in time with your own, bodies pressed together in a dance as old as time.

As you broke apart, gasping for breath, Namjoon trailed his fingers down your arm, leaving a trail of goosebumps in his wake. He could feel the heat radiating off your body, and he knew that you wanted him just as much as he wanted you.

“Are you sure about this?” he asked, his voice low and husky.

You nodded, eyes shining with desire. “Yes,” you said, voice barely above a whisper. “I want this. I want you.”

Namjoon’s heart skipped a beat at your words. He leaned in again, capturing your lips in a searing kiss. His hands roamed over your body, exploring every inch of you for the first time. You couldn’t help but moan softly, your body trembling with desire.

He pulled away from the kiss, his breath coming in short gasps. “Fuck,” he whispered, his voice filled with both awe and desperation.

He guided you back to his bed. You looked up at him through hooded eyes, your chest rising and falling rapidly as you tried to catch your breath. “Please,” you begged in a soft voice. “I need you.”

That was all it took to push Namjoon over the edge. He cupped your face in his hands and kissed you fiercely, pouring every ounce of pent-up desire into the kiss.

His hands moved down to the hem of your shirt, and he lifted it over your head in one swift motion, tossing it aside without a second thought. His gaze roamed your exposed skin hungrily, like a starving man who had just been presented with a feast.

“You’re so beautiful,” he said, his voice filled with genuine appreciation as he traced the outline of your bra with his fingertips. “You’ve always been so, so beautiful.”

You found yourselves pausing your hunger for a few minutes, basking in each other’s presence. You ended up leaning into the comfort of Namjoon’s arms. Both halted the intensity of the abrupt contact, with comfortable silences filling the gaps as you both lost yourself in the city sounds playing softly in the background. The dim light from the room cast a warm glow on Namjoon’s face, highlighting his features and making him even more irresistible.

Feeling a sudden rush of boldness, you moved closer to him, your body instinctively seeking his warmth. His eyes met yours, a silent question lingering in them. He pulled you even closer into his embrace, your bodies molding together as if they were two pieces of a puzzle.

His scent enveloped you, a mix of his cologne and something uniquely him. Your heart pounded in your chest as you felt his breath tickling the skin of your neck. His fingers traced lazy patterns on your back, causing a shiver to run down your spine. This was new, yet it felt so right.

With a soft sigh, you let your head fall back, exposing the long line of your neck. Namjoon’s lips found that sensitive skin, tracing a path down to the hollow of your throat. His fingers continued their exploration, now sliding through your thighs.

You shivered at his touch, your body begging for more. “Namjoon,” you whispered, your voice husky with desire.

He looked up at you, his eyes filled with a mixture of lust and tenderness. “Yes, y/n?”

“I want you to fuck me,” you confessed. Feeling bolder this time, you thought it was your turn to take your hands downtown. You dipped your hand into the hollow of his stomach before going down to trail kisses along the waistband of his pants. Namjoon groaned as he realized where this was headed.

Before he could protest, not that he would, you made quick work of undoing his belt to remove both it and his pants. Namjoon helped you undo them, his breath hitching as you wrapped your hand around his length. He was hard and ready, just as you were. Now fully exposed before you, he shifted uncomfortably under your gaze.

Catching onto his hesitation, you reassured him with a smile. “Don’t worry,” you said softly. “I think I’ve wanted this for a long time.”

Namjoon’s eyes softened as he reached out to brush a strand of hair behind your ear. “I’ve thought about you, too,” he confessed. “You have no idea.”

With a swift motion, you stepped out of your own jeans, too, kicking them aside.

You reached behind yourself to unclasp the bra and let it fall to the floor before pulling Namjoon’s shirt over his head and discarding it as well.

Now, almost completely naked, there you stood before him, your bodies mere inches apart. Namjoon’s hands rested on your hips, pulling you closer. His thumb traced circles on your hip bone, sending waves of pleasure through you.

Namjoon’s breath hitched in his throat. A small smile tugged at the corners of your lips at the reaction you were able to elicit from him.

Time seemed to slow down as I took in the sight before me – this was real; he wanted me just as much as I wanted him now.

You went down on him and took him into your mouth, swirling your tongue around the tip before taking him deeper. Namjoon tangled his fingers in your hair, guiding you as you moved up and down on his length. The sight of you on your knees before him, taking him so willingly, was almost too much for him to handle.

“Shit,” he grunted, his hips thrusting forward involuntarily. “I’m gonna come too soon if you keep that up.”

You pulled away with a wicked smile, pressing yourself against Namjoon’s body. He could feel how wet you were even through the fabric of your panties, and he groaned in frustration.

“Why are we still wearing these?” he asked, his voice filled with need as he hooked his fingers into the waistband of your panties and pulled them down your legs.

Once you were both naked, Namjoon’s hand trailed downwards until it found its way between your legs. He ran a finger along your folds teasingly before slipping it inside of you.

You moaned softly at the feeling of being stretched by his finger. “I’m sure we can do more than that,” you begged in a needy voice.

Namjoon added a second finger, pumping them in and out of you at a steady pace. He curled his fingers upwards, searching for that sweet spot deep inside of you.

“God,” he groaned as he felt your walls clench around his fingers. “You’re so fucking tight.”

He continued to work his fingers inside of you until he felt your body start to shake with the first layer of your orgasm. Your back arched off the bed, and a loud moan escaped from your lips as pleasure made your body tremble.

Namjoon removed his fingers from your dripping wet core and brought them up to his mouth, sucking on them eagerly as he tasted your essence.

“You taste so good,” he said, his voice filled with genuine appreciation before moving downwards until he was positioned between your legs.

He leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to your inner thigh before trailing a path of kisses up toward your throbbing center. His tongue flicked out and ran along your folds teasingly before zeroing in on your clit.

You gasped at the sensation of Namjoon’s warm tongue against your sensitive bud. He circled it slowly at first, the pressure increasing with every stroke. The combination of his skilled tongue and the way his hands were gripping the flesh of your thighs was driving you absolutely wild.

“Namjoon, stop,” you moaned, the sound of his name on your lips like a prayer. “I’m gonna cum again,”

Namjoon hummed against you in response, sending vibrations coursing through your body that pushed you right to the edge. His tongue moved faster and more insistently against your clit, bringing you closer and closer to the brink of ecstasy.

With one final flick of his tongue, you shattered into a million pieces beneath him. Your body convulsed with pleasure as wave after wave of bliss washed over you.

Namjoon lapped up every drop of your release, not wanting to miss a single drop of you. Once you had come down from your high, he climbed back up the bed and pulled you into his arms.

You buried your face in the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent as you basked in the afterglow of your passion. “You’re really good at that,” you said softly.

Namjoon pressed a gentle kiss to the top of your head. “You taste amazing. I couldn’t help myself,” he replied, his voice filled with genuine affection. “I’ve wanted you for so long.”

You looked up at him with a smile and brushed a strand of hair away from his face. There was so much more that you wanted to say, but words were unnecessary at that moment.

Instead, you let your actions speak for themselves as you pulled Namjoon closer and kissed him deeply. The taste of yourself on his lips only served to fuel the fire that was still burning between you.

As the kiss deepened, Namjoon’s hand trailed downwards once again until it found its way between your legs. He could feel how wet you still were, and a surge of desire shot through him like electricity.

He positioned himself at your entrance and looked into your eyes for confirmation before slowly pushing inside of you. You moaned softly at the feeling of being stretched around him once again, nails digging into his shoulders as he filled every inch of you.

Namjoon began to move slowly at first, savoring every sensation as he thrust in and out of your dripping wet core. With each movement, he felt himself getting lost in an ocean that only the two of you could create together.

The rhythm quickly escalated. Your hips bucked against him, meeting each thrust with one of your own. The room was filled with the sounds of the bed creaking beneath you, skin slapping against skin, and moans mingling with whispers. It felt like time had ceased to exist as the world narrowed down to just the two of you, connected in every possible way.

The pace quickened as your bodies moved in perfect sync, building towards a shared climax that was just within reach. Namjoon’s thrusts became more urgent and desperate, like a man on the edge of sanity who was about to lose himself completely.

You could feel your walls clenching around him as an overwhelming sense of pleasure began to build deep within your core. “Namjoon,” you moaned, his name like a prayer on your lips. “I’m cu-”

With one final thrust, you both went hurtling over the edge together; your bodies shuddered and shook with the force of your release.

Eventually, the bliss receded, and you found yourselves once again floating back down to reality. Namjoon collapsed beside you and pulled you into his arms, holding onto you tightly as he tried to catch his breath.

“That was...” he trailed off, searching for the right words to describe what had just happened between you.

“Really fucking hot,” you supplied with a smile.

Hours after being together, you and Namjoon shared a cozy meal on his hotel room balcony, savoring Barcelona’s cuisine. With the city’s magic still lingering in the air, you both settled into a deep conversation about your shared passion for music.

As the minutes passed, you found yourselves planning to attend several concerts together in the coming weeks and months. The anticipation of sharing those experiences added another layer of intimacy to your thing.

You both lay intertwined in each other’s arms, cuddled in the dimly lit room. Fingers traced gentle patterns on each other’s skin, and you shared soft kisses that spoke volumes in their tenderness. That night was filled with smooth, whispered conversations, with playful moments of playing with each other’s hair.

Your time with Namjoon had an electric undercurrent that couldn’t be ignored. While not a romantic undertone, it was clear that there was a magnetic attraction between you two. You shared passionate moments, intimate conversations, and nights filled with desire that went beyond being ‘just friends.’

As you returned home, you both acknowledged the nature of your connection. A “friends with benefits” arrangement that allowed you to explore your feelings without the pressure of defining a full-blown relationship. The connection was intense, yet you hesitated to leap into something more serious.

You’d meet up when schedules allowed, enjoying each other’s company in and out of the bedroom. Your feelings for Namjoon were confusing, and you knew he felt the same way, so neither of you was ready to put a label on it.

As time passed, the relationship continued to evolve. It was a constant push and pull, a dance of desire and restraint. You shared everything with him, but the commitment to a traditional relationship still felt elusive.

Your life continued to grow more complex with each passing day. Not only were you navigating this with Namjoon and what you started doing after Barcelona, but you also had a history with Jungkook, and there already was a connection between these two men.

Jungkook, your on-again, off-again for the past two years, had been a source of both love and, of course, heartache in your life. It was a tumultuous relationship, filled with moments of intense connection followed by periods of emotional distance. He kept you dancing around the idea of commitment, yet he seemed reluctant to fully embrace it.

What made the situation even more difficult was the fact that Jungkook and Namjoon were very close friends. Your social circles had overlapped, and you couldn’t help but wonder if Jungkook had any inkling of your growing connection with Namjoon.

As you delved into the ‘benefits’ dynamic with Namjoon, it added a layer of secrecy to your life.

Your feelings for Jungkook have always been intense and genuine. He was the one you had envisioned a future with, and you longed for a committed, loving relationship. But Jungkook’s reluctance to settle down left you in a state of constant disappointment. He wanted the freedom to explore other options, yet he always kept you within arm’s reach, knowing he could turn to you whenever he pleased.

This cycle was taking a toll on you, causing not only the never-ending heartbreak but also a growing sense of frustration and exhaustion. It was clear to everyone, including your mutual friends, that you were deeply in love with Jungkook, but they also saw the toll it was taking on your well-being.

Namjoon, always so observant and compassionate, saw a glimmer of an opportunity. He understood the depths of your affection for Jungkook and sensed your growing disillusionment. He didn’t plan to interfere but couldn’t help but be drawn to your unique energy and the connection you two shared.

The situation was not of your making. Both Jungkook and Namjoon actively sought you out, and you, despite your love for Jungkook, found it challenging to resist the magnetic pull of your connection with Namjoon.

Jimin’s birthday was a pivotal moment. At that time, you and Jungkook had been mad at each other, tensions simmering beneath the surface. When you arrived at the bar to celebrate, you greeted everyone but Jungkook. The air was thick with unspoken words, and the distance between you was palpable.

Feeling the need for a moment of respite, you slipped away for a cigarette break, seeking solace in the night’s breeze. During this break, you found Taehyung, one of your close friends, who helped you calm down for the night.

Eventually, the group decided to move to another bar, and the atmosphere lightened as everyone indulged in the evening. The drinks flowed, and laughter filled the air. All was good again.

As the night drew to a close, Namjoon kindly offered to drive everyone home in his car. The group piled in, and it was cramped, to say the least. Amid the chaos, you found yourself sitting in Jungkook’s lap, something that was not your choice.

It was during this car ride that Jungkook’s emotional side emerged, fueled by alcohol. He revealed that he was leaving for another country for six months, a fact he had kept hidden from you. You were blindsided by this news and felt a surge of anger and frustration. How could he not have shared this with you before?

Throughout the evening, Namjoon had been watching you closely. He observed how you barely interacted with Jungkook since your arrival and acknowledged the underlying tension. However, he couldn’t deny the surge of anger he felt when you ended up in Jungkook’s lap, even if it was out of necessity.

In the aftermath of Jimin’s birthday, Jungkook planned a farewell dinner for the group on the following Friday. The dinner was heartwarming, even in those conditions. Afterward, you all decided to go for drinks, further complicating everything.

The bar you hit up after dinner turned into a bit of a downer for you. While Jungkook was busy having a blast with everyone else, he seemed to be totally ignoring you. And then, to top it off, he started cozying up to his best friend on the dance floor – talk about a buzzkill. You tried to play it cool, but deep down, it was eating you up inside. Your head was saying, I won’t get jealous, I won’t get jealous, but he kept laughing with her and holding her close to him.

You tried to distract yourself by keeping yourself glued to Taehyung and Jimin, but it was tough to keep up with their conversation when your mind was in a whirl. Chiming in occasionally was getting more complicated, so you let a bitter laugh at the ceiling, excusing yourself to go to the bathroom for a bit, asking your friends to keep your drink safe. Staring at yourself in the mirror, trying to get rid of your pathetic, sad eyes, you felt like you were stuck in some cheesy rom-com.

You couldn’t bear yourself anymore. You knew it wasn’t the girl’s fault, but you couldn’t shake the feeling of what if something was happening between them. You began spiraling, knowing you had to leave the place.

At the risk of seeing Jungkook’s silhouette on your way back to the table, you decided it was time to make a quick exit. Grabbing your purse, you muttered to your friends, “I’ll be right back,” under the pretense of needing some air, and dashed off before anyone could stop you.

Namjoon saw the whole picture. He was aware of your every move and how quick you left the bar. He worried at the thought of your utter goodbye for the night.

In the past days leading up to tonight, Namjoon found himself wrestling with conflicting emotions. On one hand, he longed to be closer to you, to break through the walls you had built around your heart. Yet, on the other hand, he couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt at the thought of finding happiness in Jungkook’s absence.

When you stepped outside, the weight of the night’s events hit you like a ton of bricks. You stood there on the sidewalk, feeling lost and overwhelmed. You instantly knew it was too much to actually leave like that. Pulling out your lighter and a cigarette, you took a moment to gather your thoughts. It was one of those times when you wished to call your mom and ask her, “can you pick me up?” but I guess ‘we’re too old for that.’ The air around you wasn’t even cold, but everything felt unbearably heavy.

As you stood there, lost in your thoughts, hard to believe that the asshole you love is having the time of his life. Good for him. You kept rambling. Are you really that detestable? How could he be having the time of his life while you were left feeling so insignificant? It stung to realize that he hadn’t even bothered to tell you about his plans to go for half a year. It was like a slap in the face, a painful reminder of how little you seemed to matter to him.

And the fucking icing on the cake is that tonight, you don’t even exist in his world.

As you were spiraling into a whirlwind of more negative emotions, your phone suddenly rang, jolting you out of your thoughts. Glancing at the screen, you saw ‘Joonie’ flashing back at you. With a sigh, you extinguished your cigarette and answered the call.

“Hello?” you greeted, your voice tinged with a hint of frustration.

From the background noise, you could tell that Namjoon was evidently still at the bar. “Care to tell me why you left?” he asked, his tone laced with concern.

You couldn’t help but let out a bitter laugh. “I didn’t leave. I’m just outside having a chat with my cig,” you replied sarcastically.

There was a moment of silence on the other end of the line before Namjoon spoke again. “And you didn’t think to include me? I’ve been meaning to talk to that guy,” he joked, trying to lighten the mood.

As Namjoon’s voice filled your ears, a mixture of relief and surprise washed over you. You hadn’t expected him to call, let alone humor you in your self-imposed exile outside the bar.

“I didn’t realize you were such good friends with cigarettes,” you replied, a hint of amusement creeping into your voice despite the heaviness of the situation.

There was a brief pause on the other end of the line before Namjoon chuckled softly. “Well, you know me. Always looking to fraternize,” he quipped, his tone warm and lighthearted.

You couldn’t help but smile at his attempt to lighten the mood, grateful for his presence even from a distance. “Thanks for calling Joonie,” you said, the affectionate nickname slipping from your lips without a second thought.

“Anytime,” Namjoon replied, his voice softening with sincerity. “But jokes aside, are you okay?”

The concern in Namjoon’s voice tugged at your heartstrings, reminding you once again of the depth of his care for you. “I’ll be fine,” you reassured him, although the words felt hollow even to your own ears.

There was another moment of silence, punctuated only by the distant strains of music drifting from the bar. “Do you want me to come out there?” Namjoon asked, his voice laced with anxiety.

As much as you wanted to say yes, to feel the comfort of Namjoon’s presence beside you, you couldn’t bring yourself to burden him with your own shit. “No, it’s okay,” you replied, forcing a note of conviction into your voice. “I just needed some air.”

Namjoon didn’t press the issue. He knew what was happening and understood the meaning of your words. Instead, he simply said, “Alright, but get back inside already. I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

Even during your turmoil, Namjoon was there for you. “Okaaaaayyyy dad,” you replied, full of sarcasm.

Namjoon laughed softly, his voice carrying a warmth that eased the ache in your chest. “I’ll be here whenever you’re ready to come back in.”

As you made your way back inside the bar to the table where Jimin and Taehyung were seated, their expressions were a mixture of sympathy and awareness. “Are you okay?” Jimin asked, his voice soft but filled with genuine worry.

You forced a smile, attempting to mask the turmoil raging inside you. “Yeah, I’m fine,” you replied, taking your long-forgotten and watered-down drink in one go, waving your hand dismissively. But they could see through the facade, sensing the underlying chaos that threatened to consume you.

Without a word, Namjoon approached the table. He placed his hand at the small of your back, offering silent support and understanding. In that moment, you felt grateful for his unwavering presence amidst your own drama.

You leaned against Namjoon’s torso and rubbed his chest before excusing yourself from the table once more. This time, however, you didn’t head for the exit. Instead, you made your way to the bar to order a considerable amount of drinks, already determined to stop feeling this level of shitty.

As you stood at the bar, ordering your drinks, you couldn’t shake the unease lingering within you. The noise of the crowded bar seemed to fade into the background as you wrestled with your thoughts, your mind consumed by the events of the evening.

On the other hand, Namjoon was careful to avoid the watchful eyes of your friends, who were scattered throughout the crowded bar. He trailed after you with a sense of purpose, his steps deliberate yet discreet. When he saw you at the bar, he didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around your waist from behind.

At that moment, Namjoon’s heart swelled. Part of him wanted to console you for your evident emotional state. But another part couldn’t deny the selfish desire to hold you close, to revel in the warmth of your presence, even as you struggled with your own demons.

Leaning in, Namjoon gently kissed your right cheek, a silent offering of reassurance and understanding. To his relief, you sighed softly, your eyes closing as you leaned into his embrace, resting your head against his shoulder without a second thought.

“You look way too hot tonight to be feeling like this,” he whispered softly, his words a tender acknowledgment of your heartache. Despite the seriousness of the situation, his tone showed a hint of playful sincerity.

A voice interrupted the moment, cutting through the noise like a knife. Neither of you noticed Jungkook’s approach until it was too late. Drunk and unsteady on his feet, Jungkook stumbled over to the bar, his eyes widening in disbelief as he caught sight of the two of you together.

"Y/N?" The voice was slurred, unmistakably Jungkook’s. You tensed in Namjoon’s arms, your heart pounding in your chest as you turned to see Jungkook standing a few feet away, his expression a mix of shock and disbelief.

“Jungkook,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady despite the tumult of emotions swirling inside you.

Namjoon tensed beside you, his grip on your waist tightening almost imperceptibly, his expression unreadable.

“Well, well, well, look what we have here,” Jungkook slurred, his words dripping with sarcasm as he stared at you and Namjoon. “Didn’t know you were into my friends, Y/N. Guess you’ll take anyone who gives an ounce of attention, huh?”

The words hit you like a punch to the gut, leaving you momentarily speechless as you recoiled from the unexpected attack. Namjoon, however, was quick to react, his protective instincts kicking into overdrive as he stepped forward to confront Jungkook.

“Hey, that’s enough, man,” Namjoon said firmly, his voice cutting through the air as he placed himself between you and Jungkook.

You felt a pang of regret at what you had inadvertently caused, knowing that Jungkook had every right to feel hurt by seeing you with his friend.

“Y/N... and Namjoon,” Jungkook slurred, his words laced with a hint of mockery. “I never would’ve guessed.”

Namjoon’s jaw clenched in frustration. “Come on, man, you’re drunk, and you’re out of line.” Jungkook scoffed, flickering between you and Namjoon with a mixture of disbelief and anger. “Out of line?” he echoed, his tone dripping with sarcasm. I’m just stating the obvious, aren’t I, Y/N?”

Namjoon placed a calming hand on his shoulder, his touch reassuringly. “Let’s not make a scene,” he said quietly, warning Jungkook. “You’re not yourself right now. We’ll talk about this later.”

For a moment, Jungkook seemed to waver, his drunken facade faltering. But then, with a bitter laugh, he turned and stumbled away.

Turning back to you with a look of concern. “Are you okay?” he asked softly, his eyes searching yours for any sign of distress.

You nodded, offering him a shaky smile as you tried to push aside the hurtful words that lingered in the air. “Yeah, I’m fine,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. “Let’s just get out of here, please.”

The next day dawned with a sense of unease, the previous night’s events still fresh in your mind. As you woke to the harsh light of day filtering through your curtains, you couldn’t shake the discomfort that settled over you like a heavy blanket.

Dragging yourself out of bed, you checked your phone to find a message from Jungkook, his words a stark reminder of the events that had unfolded the night before. “Hey, did you come to the bar last night?” he wrote, his tone casual as if nothing out of the ordinary had occurred. “I can’t remember a thing, lmao.”

On one hand, his casual tone and obliviousness to the events of the previous night grated on your nerves, but on the other hand, there was a sense of relief knowing that he seemed unaware of the tension that had hung between you, at least for now.

With a heavy sigh, you composed a response, your fingers tapping out a brief reply. “Yeah, I was there,” you wrote, your words tinged with a hint of bitterness you couldn’t shake. “What a night, huh? I’m glad you had fun.”

Meanwhile, on Namjoon’s end, the morning brought a sense of apprehension as he grappled with the aftermath of the confrontation with Jungkook. Despite his best efforts to put on a brave front, he couldn’t shake the feeling of guilt that gnawed at him from within.

Throughout the day, he debated whether or not to touch the subject with Jungkook. Still, his resolve faltered each time he tried to gather the courage. How could he confront his friend about his behavior without risking losing you?

As the hours passed, it became increasingly clear that Jungkook had no recollection of the events that had transpired the night before. His mind was fogged by the haze of alcohol, and he seemed oblivious to your exchange, leaving Namjoon at a loss for how to proceed.

After the farewell dinner passed, Namjoon became aware of your persistent efforts to see Jungkook one last time before his departure. He observed as you reached out to Jungkook, only to be met with excuses. Jungkook definitely didn’t want to make the effort to see you.

In the middle of the week, all the guys went out to grab some food; Namjoon sat in the backseat of the car alongside Jungkook, Jimin in the passenger seat, and Taehyung at the wheel. He noticed Jungkook’s phone light up with your name on the screen. It was already dark outside, so the glow from the phone illuminated Jungkook’s face, and Namjoon clearly saw your name on the screen.

It wasn’t a silent ride, so Namjoon didn’t know how the hell he could hear your voice so well as you spoke to Jungkook. Your desperation was palpable, each word carrying the weight of your emotions as you questioned Jungkook about what he had been up to and if he hadn’t gotten the chance to see any of your texts. Namjoon felt a pang of sympathy as he listened, knowing all too well the pain you were feeling.

Jungkook’s response was vague, and his attitude spoke volumes during the conversation.

It was a moment of rawness, the culmination of all your emotions laid bare in a single question. “Can’t you see I was in love with you?” As you spoke, your voice trembled with emotion, the words hanging heavy in the air. “I never asked you for anything,” you continued, your tone tinged with desperation. “nothing, Jungkook, not for you to move in with me or marry me; I just wanted to be with you.” Each word was punctuated by the ache of unfulfilled longing, a plea for understanding in the face of uncertainty. “I don’t get why we can’t be together,” you confessed, the weight of your heartache evident in your voice.

As Namjoon listened to your heartfelt plea, his heart sank with the weight of your words. He felt the tension in the air, a palpable reminder of the turmoil brewing beneath the surface. Unsure of what to do, he found himself fidgeting with his phone, his fingers tracing aimless patterns on the screen. He glanced briefly at Jungkook, whose expression remained unreadable, before clearing his throat in an attempt to dispel the heavy silence that hung over them. “Should we try that new restaurant that just opened up downtown?” Namjoon suggested his voice as carefully neutral as possible. He knew that your words had struck a chord in his friend.

As Jungkook struggled to find the right way to respond to your words, his mind raced with conflicting emotions. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. His silence hanging heavy in the air.

Sensing his hesitation, you felt a surge of tears welling up inside. Without waiting for him to finally say something, you abruptly ended the call, your actions driven more by the need to release your pent-up emotions than a desire to hear Jungkook’s explanation. The line went silent, leaving Jungkook alone with his thoughts, grappling with the weight of your words and his own inability to answer.

Jungkook’s feelings for you remained ambiguous. It was evident that there was a deep connection between you and him. He knew he loved the attention you gave him without fully understanding your feelings. To be completely honest, you caught him off guard tonight.

He never expected your affection to run so deeply, and the words you just revealed to him left him feeling surprised and perhaps a bit overwhelmed. Jungkook may have underestimated the extent of your emotions and failed to recognize the depth of what he had with you until now.

Namjoon picked you up at the hour he promised. He didn’t waste time and started asking you about what you had been up to. He said he wanted to know how you liked the last music festival you went to, how work had been, and barely five minutes had passed.

“So, where do you want to go?” “I was thinking we could go to one of the bars near my place; what do you think?”

“Sure, I haven’t gone out at all lately”, “did you have one in mind?”

“Wait, tell me first, did you already have dinner?”

You shook your head.

“Good because I haven’t either.” What do you say if we go home and have dinner instead?”

“I’d like that”, “what about some takeout?”

On your way to get food and to his house, he didn’t stop talking for the whole ride; he kept asking all these things about you. And it’s not like you’ve not seen this side of him, but it felt nice that someone was interested enough to ask about your life lately.

The conversation flowed effortlessly as you sat on his bed, eating and watching a movie. You talked about books and films and even asked if you’d considered having children someday. The atmosphere between you was electric, as always, and Namjoon couldn’t help but be swept up in it.

Getting your containers out of the way, he gently hugged you closer, feeling the warmth of your body against his. Your heart raced at his touch, you could never deny the connection between you. “Aren’t you cold?” He began to kiss your neck, sending shivers down your spine as his lips explored your sensitive skin.

The movie played in the background, but you barely noticed as Namjoon pressed you closer, his body molding against yours. “Not anymore,” and then he kissed you deeply, his tongue exploring your mouth as his hands roamed your body.

The heat between you was undeniable as Namjoon lifted you onto his lap, your legs straddling him as he rutted into you. You moaned with pleasure, your bodies moving in a rhythm that felt both new and familiar.

Your hands tangled in his hair as you kissed him passionately, lost in the moment. Namjoon’s hands roamed over your body, tracing every curve and leaving a fire trail in their wake. The air around you was thick with desire as you both gave in to the electricity that pulsed between you.

His lips moved from your mouth to your neck, nibbling and sucking on the sensitive skin, marking you as his. Each touch sent jolts of pleasure straight to your core, causing your breath to hitch and your body to arch against him.

“Namjoon,” you moaned his name softly, the sound music to his ears. He lifted you effortlessly, laying you down on the bed so that he could hover above you. His eyes held a mixture of hunger and adoration as he took in the sight before him.

“You’re so hot,” he whispered, his voice filled with sincerity. You felt a blush creep onto your cheeks at his words, but before you could respond, his lips were on yours again.

The kiss was deep and passionate, igniting a fire within you that threatened to consume everything in its path. Namjoon’s hands explored every inch of your body, leaving no skin untouched. The soft fabric of your clothes became an obstacle that needed to be removed. With nimble fingers, he began undressing you.

When all barriers were gone, he took a moment to admire the sight before him - your naked body spread out beneath him like it was the first time his eyes ever saw you. You squirmed under his gaze.

Get a grip. This is not the first time this has happened.

He leaned down and captured one of your nipples between his lips while his hand massaged the other breast. The sensation was overwhelming as pleasure coursed through every nerve ending in your body.

Your back arched as you moaned his name loudly into the room. Namjoon continued to lavish attention on your breasts, alternating between gentle sucking and teasing flicks of his tongue.

His lips traveled a path of hot kisses down your stomach, leaving a fire trail in their wake. He peppered your skin with soft bites and licks as he made his way to the apex of your thighs.

The anticipation built within you as you felt his warm breath against your core. When his tongue finally made contact with your sensitive bud, a moan ripped from your throat. It was intense, almost too much to handle, as he expertly swirled his tongue around your clit.

Your hips bucked involuntarily as waves of ecstasy crashed over you like an earthquake. Namjoon held onto your thighs, keeping you in place as he continued to devour you with his mouth. His hands were firm yet gentle as they held onto you, grounding you in the sea of pleasure that threatened to sweep you away.

As the intensity grew, so did the need for more. You tugged at Namjoon’s hair, urging him to come up to kiss you. He complied, moving up your body until his lips met yours once again.

You flipped him over so that now you were straddling him again. Your hands roamed over his muscular chest and abdomen before trailing lower to remove his pants.

The familiar sight before you took your breath away - Namjoon completely naked and at your mercy. His length stood proudly at your attention, begging for your touch. You wrapped one hand around him firmly while using the other to tease his balls.

The anticipation built within him as he felt your warm breath against his neck. You peppered his skin with soft bites and kisses as you made your way to the apex of his thighs.

When you finally took him in your mouth, all coherent thought fled from Namjoon’s mind. The sensation was indescribable - a mixture of wet heat and suction that threatened to push him over the edge before he even had a chance to enjoy it fully.

Your tongue swirled around the tip of his length. At the same time, you maintained eye contact with him, the sight alone nearly enough to send him hurling into oblivion.

As if reading his mind, you hollowed out your cheeks and took him in deeper, maintaining eye contact the entire time. Namjoon’s hips bucked involuntarily as pleasure surged through every fiber of his being.

“Oh fuck,” he moaned loudly, the sound reverberating throughout the room. Encouraged by his reaction, you continued to work him with your mouth, alternating between long strokes and teasing flicks of your tongue.

Namjoon’s hands found their way into your hair, holding onto you for dear life as he rode out the electric charges coursing through his veins. The feeling was almost too much to bear, in the best possible way.

He could feel the pressure building within him as he neared the point of no return. With one final thrust of his hips and a low groan that quickly turned into a string of curses, Namjoon came undone.

His release flooded your mouth in hot spurts, the taste always so addictive. You swallowed him down eagerly. When he finally finished, and his body went limp with pleasure, you released him from your mouth.

Namjoon’s head fell back against the pillow and a groan escaped his lips. The sound was like music to your ears as it signaled that you drove him just as wild as he was driving you.

You leaned forward and captured one of his nipples between your lips, sucking gently. Namjoon’s hands found their way to your hips, holding you in place as he thrust upwards, seeking more friction, not giving room to his own overstimulation.

The combined sensations were overwhelming as pleasure surged through every fiber of your being. You continued to grind slowly, relishing in the way his breath hitched and his body reacted to your touch.

“Fuck, I need to be inside,” Namjoon groaned, his voice filled with desperation. The words sent a surge of heat straight to your core as you felt the wetness between your thighs increase.

You positioned yourself over him, lining him up with your entrance before slowly sinking down onto his length. You never got used to the exquisite feeling of fullness he gave you when he filled you completely, stretching you in all the right ways.

Namjoon’s hands gripped onto your hips tightly as you began to move, riding him at a pace that left both of you breathless. His eyes never left yours as he watched all of your emotions play out on your face.

The sounds of skin slapping were intoxicating. Every movement brought you closer and closer to the edge until you finally felt yourself teetering on the edge.

“I’m coming,” you managed to gasp out between moans. Namjoon nodded in understanding, his own release rapidly approaching. He reached between your bodies and began rubbing circles on your clit, pushing you over the edge.

Stars exploded behind your eyelids as a powerful orgasm crashed over you. You clamped down on Namjoon’s length as pleasure pulsed through every nerve ending in your body.

The sight was enough to send Namjoon rushing into his own orgasm. With a loud groan, he spilled himself inside of you, filling you up and leaving you all warm and pliant.

He collapsed beside you, his chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. You rested your head against him, your thoughts suddenly swirling with confusion and desire.

Another movie on TV played in the background, but once again, it went unnoticed as Namjoon pressed soft kisses against your forehead.

As you lay in Namjoon’s chest, your body still warm from his touch, you began questioning your decisions. The weight of the moment pressed against your chest as you listened to the rhythm of his heart. It was a stark reminder that you were here with him, tangled in the sheets, while Jungkook remained out of reach.

It was the pain of missing someone so unattainable.

“I’m so glad we talked,” he playfully whispered against your skin. You looked up at him, and Namjoon sensed the shift in your demeanor. He propped himself up on one elbow, his gaze tracing over the contours of your face. “Are you okay?” he asked softly, concern lacing his voice.

You turned your head to meet his gaze and offered a small smile. “Yeah,” you replied, though uncertainty lingered in your words. “Just...thinking.”

He reached out a hand to gently brush a strand of hair behind your ear, his touch lingering against the curve of your jaw. Namjoon’s dark eyes held an intensity that made your breath catch in your throat. “About what?” he inquired.

You hesitated for a moment before deciding to be honest with him. After all, he had been nothing but open and sincere with you since your dynamic began to form. “Suddenly, I just started wondering...what am I doing” you admitted, searching for the right words to explain yourself.

Namjoon’s expression softened as he took in your words, understanding blooming across his features. He shifted closer to you, closing the remaining distance between your bodies and cupping your face in his hands. “You’re here doing this with me because we both want this,” he said firmly yet gently.

His thumb traced circles along your cheekbone as he continued speaking. “I know it’s complicated,” Namjoon acknowledged, his voice filled with empathy. “But we've built something mind-blowing—we can’t deny that.”

Your heart swelled at his words. Namjoon saw past the physical desire, recognizing the emotional entanglement that had brought you to this moment.

He leaned in, his lips brushing against your forehead in a tender gesture. “I don’t want you to overthink this,” Namjoon murmured. “Just let yourself feel, and we’ll figure it out somewhere along the way.”

His words resonated with you, easing the whirlwind of thoughts spinning through your mind. In this quiet and intimate moment, Namjoon had provided the reassurance and grounding that you needed.

You wrapped your arms around him, in awe of what he just told you. His body melded with yours, offering warmth and solace in a way that no one else had. Here, in the sanctuary of his arms, you allowed yourself to surrender to his intoxicating hugs.

The weight of uncertainty began to lift as passion replaced doubt. Namjoon’s touch ignited a fire within you—one that burned away insecurities and hesitations.

With a newfound sense of clarity, you tilted your head up to capture his lips with yours in a searing kiss. It was a silent admittance—a shared understanding.

Namjoon responded eagerly, his lips moving hungrily against yours as desire flared between you. The air grew thick with anticipation as the heat intensified, driving all rational thought from your mind.

In this moment—this raw and unfiltered desire—you were able to set aside the complexities of love and longing. It was just the two of you, bodies entwined.

You ground your hips against him, aching for more of his touch. The friction between you was intoxicating, and the hunger in Namjoon’s eyes mirrored your own.

With one hand gripping your waist, he used the other to trace a path down your body, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake.

Needing to feel more of him, you tugged at his torso, silently urging him to get closer. Namjoon obliged.

Unable to resist any longer, you leaned in to press a kiss against his collarbone. Slowly, you worked your way across his chest, nipping and sucking at his skin along the way. Each moan that escaped from Namjoon’s lips only spurred you on.

Namjoon’s hands roamed over your body, creating an inferno wherever they touched. Desire pooled low in your stomach as his fingers traced patterns on your skin, igniting a fire that hadn’t been extinguished earlier.

Unable to wait longer, you straddled him again, aligning your bodies so perfectly that it felt like coming home. The heat radiating from his hard length made you gasp in anticipation; you needed him desperately once again.

Namjoon’s hands found their way to the small of your back as he pulled you impossibly closer until there was no space left between. Every ridge and plane of your bodies met and melded together as if they were always meant to be this way.

Your eyes locked in before he finally entered you, inch by glorious inch. A moan escaped both your lips at this new sensation; it hasn't felt like this before. It was clear that brand new emotion was being assimilated in your bodies.

As Namjoon began moving inside you with slow yet deliberate thrusts that had you seeing stars with each delicious stroke, your lips found each other once again. The kiss was a perfect blend of passion and desire that left you both gasping for breath.

Your nails dug into his shoulders as you clung to him for dear life, your body rocked by the force of his movements. Each thrust brought you closer to the edge, the intensity building with every passing second.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” Namjoon groaned against your lips, his voice laced with a rawness that sent shivers down your spine. It was all you could do to hold on as you quivered; there wasn’t even a point in counting how many times he’s made you cum tonight.

You moved together in perfect sync, lost in a world where only your bodies and the overwhelming need for one another existed in this room. Time ceased to have any meaning as you chased your releases.

When it finally hit— that earth-shattering peak that left you gasping for air— it was as if everything fell into place. At that moment, there were no doubts or uncertainties; it was just you and Namjoon and the undeniable infatuation you shared.

As the world slowly came back into focus and your breathing returned to normal, you rested your forehead against Namjoon’s, staring deep into his eyes. You didn’t need words to convey what you were both thinking; this had just been the most incredible sex any of you have had since you started seeing each other.

The morning sunlight filtered through the curtains, casting a soft glow in the room. Namjoon stirred beside you, his sleepy gaze meeting yours. You exchanged a knowing look, but the weight of unspoken questions hung in the air.

As you both got dressed and prepared to leave, the atmosphere between you grew slightly tense. The intimacy you had shared was undeniable, but the implications were yet to be understood. You couldn’t ignore the lingering question of whether this was still a momentary escape for you or something that blossomed out last night.

As Namjoon drove you home, the usual comfortable conversation flowed between you, easing some of the tension that had built up within you. His presence was a source of familiarity and reassurance, and you couldn’t help but wonder what exactly the dynamic between the two of you was turning into.

You had always considered Namjoon a nice guy, someone you could rely on, someone who took on the role to care of you in every way. Lately, things have taken a more intimate turn, blurring the lines between friendship and something more. The physical encounter you had just shared added a layer of complexity to your relationship, leaving you with whole lot of questions.

As he pulled up in front of your house, you turned to face him, contemplating your next move. You appreciated him taking you home, but you wanted to retreat to the familiarity of your own space as soon as possible, where you could process the events of the past night.

As you stepped out of the car, you thanked Namjoon once again for everything. The unresolved tension hung in the air, unspoken words and uncharted territory lingering between you. It was clear that there was more to explore, but you also recognized the importance of introspection in this situation.

Walking away from the car, you couldn’t help but wonder what the future held for you and Namjoon. Would you continue to explore this newfound connection, or would you both retreat back to the safety of being just an acquaintance, brushing off the intensity of the previous night as a momentary lapse?

As you entered your home, uncertainty weighed on your mind, and the echoes of the night still resonated within you. One thing was sure, though—this unexpected encounter had left a strong mark, forcing you to confront your fears.

As you continued to navigate your emotions, you couldn’t help but wonder. Would you eventually find the clarity? Or were you destined to be caught in this eternal struggle between the familiar but tumultuous past and the electrifying but uncertain present?

I don’t even know what I’m getting myself into.

A week later, as the evening sun dipped below the horizon, casting hues of pink and orange across the sky, you found yourself lost in thought. It had been weeks since Jungkook had finally come back and texted you, so fate had a way of bringing you back together when you least expected it.

It started innocently enough. You were on your way to meet a few friends for dinner when you spotted him across the street. The sight of Jungkook after all this time sent a jolt of electricity through your veins, stirring emotions you had tried so hard to bury.

Caught off guard, you hesitated for a moment, unsure of how to proceed. Should you approach him and acknowledge his presence, or should you pretend not to see him and continue on your way?

Before you could decide, Jungkook turned and locked eyes with you. Time seemed to stand still as you stared at each other, the air thick with unspoken words and unresolved tension.

Taking a deep breath, you summoned some courage you didn’t know you still had. “Jungkook,” you called out softly, your voice barely above a whisper.

Facing you, a mixture of surprise and uncertainty flickering in his eyes. “Y/N,” he replied, his voice equally soft.

For a moment, neither of you spoke, the weight of the past hanging heavy between you.

“I didn’t expect to see you so soon,” Jungkook finally broke the silence, his tone tinged with a hint of sadness.

“I could say the same,” you replied, countless emotions swirling inside you.

There was a pause as you both searched for the right words, the distance between you feeling both vast and infinitesimal.

“How have you been?” Jungkook asked, his voice filled with genuine curiosity.

You shrugged, unsure of how to answer. “I’ve been... okay,” you replied hesitantly. “And you?”

Jungkook nodded, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips. “I’ve been keeping busy,” he said cryptically.

More silence followed as you both struggled to find common ground, the awkwardness of the situation palpable.

“I should get going,” you finally said, breaking the tension. “It was... nice seeing you, Jungkook.”

He nodded, unable to meet your gaze. “Yeah, you too,” he replied softly.

Just as you turned to leave, Jungkook found himself unable to resist the urge to speak up. “Wait,” he called out, voice barely above a whisper.

You turned back to face him, curiosity flickering in your eyes. “yes?” you asked, your tone gentle.

He hesitated for a moment, the words catching in his throat. “Can we get together and talk sometime?” Jungkook finally asked, his voice trembling slightly.

Your expression softened. “About what?” you replied, your voice barely audible over the city’s din.

It was quiet for a minute. “Forget it,” Jungkook said quickly, his smile faltering. “It’s nothing.”

But you couldn’t let it go. “No, Jungkook,” you insisted, stepping closer to him. “What do you need to talk about?”

For a moment, Jungkook seemed taken aback by your question, his eyes widening in surprise. And then, with a slight smile, he stepped closer to you.

He cleared his throat, leaning in slightly as if sharing a secret. “I mean,” he started, his voice barely above a whisper as though he was afraid of the words themselves. He paused, taking a moment to collect his thoughts before continuing. “It’s not like I need to, but...”

You listened intently, the gravity of Jungkook’s words sinking in. It was as if he was voicing the thoughts swirling in your mind, the unspoken desires and lingering emotions that you had both been grappling with for so long.

“We’ve always made it complicated, I know,” Jungkook continued, his eyes searching yours for understanding. “But I can’t help but wonder if maybe—just maybe—there’s a chance for us to figure out what we had.”

For a moment, you were both suspended in time; your shared moments and potential futures flashed through your eyes. Jungkook’s question had stirred something within you, a complicated mix of nostalgia, longing, and confusion. The echoes of your past relationship with him were interwoven with the exciting and passionate dynamic you had recently discovered with Namjoon. You knew you had to make a decision, not only for yourself but also for them.

As you looked into Jungkook’s hopeful eyes, you felt deep regret, not for the moments you had shared, but for the ones that never were and would never be. You realized you had been clinging to the hope that may never come. You knew in your heart that it was time to let go and move forward.

With a deep breath, you broke the silence. ‘Jungkook,’ you began, your voice steady, ‘I think it’s best if we don’t…’ Your words trailed off, but you hoped your message was clear.

Lost in your thoughts, you continued to meet your friends, the weight of shutting out someone who hurt you in the past, heavy on your shoulders. As you sat down to dinner, the events of the evening played over and over in your mind, leaving you drained of emotion.

Later that evening, after that particularly confusing and unplanned encounter with Jungkook, you found yourself sitting on the balcony of your apartment, staring out at the city lights. The soothing sound of one of your jazz playlists playing in the background served as a backdrop to your contemplation.

Just then, your phone buzzed, and it was Namjoon. He had sent you a text that read, “I don’t want to be the cause of your pain, but I can’t help how I feel. It’s complicated, I know. Just know that I’m here for you, no matter what you want to do.”

His message struck a chord deep within you. You realized that Namjoon carved himself a special place in your heart, and it was time to tell him your choice.

With Namjoon, you felt a different kind of connection. His understanding and acceptance of your complicated situation were comforting. The passion between you was undeniable, but more than that, you felt seen, valued, and respected in a way that you hadn’t with Jungkook.

As dawn breaks, you find yourself comfortably sheltered on your balcony with a steaming cup of coffee in your hands. The richness of its aroma fills your senses, providing a comforting solitude as you are lost in a sea of thoughts that you have been pondering since the early hours. Your surroundings are quiet, the world below still hushed in the early morning slumber.

Suddenly, this serene silence is broken by a familiar voice echoing from below. The unexpected shout of your name startles you, causing you to rise abruptly from your chair, your heart skipping a beat with the suddenness of it. Curiosity instantly piques within you, a compelling urge to discover the source of this voice calling you.

When you leaned over the balcony railing to peer down, much to your surprise and a slight sense of disbelief, you saw Namjoon. There he was, standing on the lonely street beneath your balcony, his posture exuding an aura of determination. The sight of him there, seemingly out of the blue, took you aback. You hadn’t expected to see him, not at this hour, not here.

“Namjoon, what are you doing here?” you managed to ask him, your voice barely a whisper against the morning chill. Your heart was racing, pounding in your chest at the unexpected sight of him. “Come on up!” You invited him in with a giggle, your mind spinning, thinking, oh my god, he’s here. A surge of laughter bubbled within you as you retreated from the balcony, giving him the time to go up to the first floor.

Without uttering a single word in response, Namjoon quickly made his way up the stairs leading to your apartment. As soon as he stepped through the door, his presence filled the room, bringing a sense of warmth and familiarity you hadn’t realized was missing until now.

The silence that had ensued was once again broken by Namjoon’s voice. His voice was softer and gentler this time, but his determination was no less. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you, Y/N,” he confessed, his eyes directly meeting yours in a gaze that held you captive. “I needed to see you, talk to you.”

“You drive me crazy in the best possible way,” Namjoon started. “Every stolen glance, every lingering touch, it’s like electricity coursing through my veins, igniting a fire that I can’t control.”

“From the moment I met you, I’ve been consumed by the thought of you, your touch, your scent, your laughter.” Namjoon continued. “I couldn’t resist your pull on me, drawing me in like a moth.”

“You make me feel alive, Y/N,” Namjoon confessed, his eyes burning with desire. “And I never want to let that go. I want to explore every inch of you, body and soul, to lose myself in the passion we share.”

“I want you to go out for drinks with your friends,” Namjoon expressed, his voice still soft. “So when you feel hungover the next day, you’ll ask me to come see you because you want to have me in your arms and cuddle you.”

“I want us to talk in the mornings, still in bed, about all types of things,” Namjoon continued, a fond smile playing on his lips. “But sometimes in the afternoons, too, I want us to be able to do whatever we want during the day.”

“I want you to tell me about the nights you go out with your friends,” Namjoon confessed, his eyes filled with warmth. “And tell me about the guy at the bar who was trying to flirt with you all night. I want you to text me when you’re drunk with your friends just to tell me dumb things because you want to be sure that I’m also thinking about you.”

“I want us to laugh while we’re making love,” Namjoon declared, full of yearning. “To start laughing because we’re trying something new, and it doesn’t make any sense. I want us to be with our friends so you can take my hand and drag me to the other room because you can’t hold back anymore, and you want us to make love right there. I want to make you try to stay quiet because there are people outside, and they might hear us.”

“I want to eat with you all the time,” Namjoon continued. “And I want you to make me talk about myself and for you to talk about everything that’s on your mind. I want us to discuss which is best, the north coast or the south coast, the west or the east. I want to imagine our dream home, still aware that we might never live together.”

“I want to tell you about my plans, the ones that make no sense whatsoever,” Namjoon confessed, his voice filled with excitement. “I want to surprise you by saying, ‘Take your passport, we’re leaving.’ I want to be afraid with you. Do things I wouldn’t do with anyone else because you make me feel safe. Come back home drunk after a night out with my friends, and for you to take my face in your hands, kiss me, and keep me close to you the whole night.”

“I want you to have your life,” Namjoon continued, his tone sincere. “So you can decide to take a few weeks off to go on a trip just because you want to. So you leave me wishing to see you through FaceTime, but all it makes me do is miss you more.”

“I don’t want us to be joined at the hip all the time,” Namjoon admitted, a smile playing on his lips. “That way, we can hang out the next day. You can tell me about your night, and I can tell you about mine.”

“I want something simple yet complicated,” Namjoon declared, his eyes locking with you. “Something that often makes me question myself, but the moment I’m in the same room with you, all my doubts disappear. I want to tell everyone you’re gorgeous, and I want to be proud to say we’re together. I want to tell you that I love you, and most importantly, I want you to be able to say that you love me, too.”

“I want to make plans with you,” Namjoon continued, his voice filled with hope. “Unaware if we’ll make them come true. I want you to have a relationship where you know where you stand. I want to be someone who you love to be with. I want us to still have the desire to fool around at times because we’re still young.”

“I want to be the one you make love to and then fall asleep with,” Namjoon confessed, his voice barely above a whisper, his hand now caressing your cheek. “The one who gives you your space and loves when you get lost in your playlists. I want to have a single life with you because our relationship would be just like that, but together.”

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syuga-s · 1 month

Text

the art of seduction... and hair pulling

w.c. I genuinely don't know around 2.6k (???)

pairing. Oikawa x female!reader, implied Makki x reader & Iwaizumi x reader i'm sorry

genre. crack, suggestive

a/n. haikyuu girl what are you doing here!!! I got carried away. A lot. I was planning on doing a blurb, a short imagine for fuck's sake, BUT HERE WE ARE. be wary of guy friends who will tug on your hair with no warning, they're out there ☝️ curse words here and there 👍

Friends since high school, you and your close-knit group, the infamous Seijoh Four and your best friend Momo. It was just supposed to be a night out with your friends. Those four plus you and Momo. A casual night out. You had gone to one of your fave spots in town, an outdoor brewery, one of the few calm places where there was a table big enough for all of you.

Oikawa was deep into a conversation with Makki and Mattsun while you were talking with Iwaizumi beside you and Momo in front of you. Each group in their own topic. Tonight you were in the middle of Oikawa and Iwaizumi, while the other side sat with Mattsun, Makki and Momo in that order.

Momo leaned in conspiratorially, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "So, have you heard about Iwa's last ex?" she begins, her voice dropping to a hushed whisper.

Iwaizumi raises an eyebrow, clearly not thrilled about the direction the conversation is taking. "Oh, not this again," he mutters.

As Momo's words hang in the air, you can't help but lean in, curiosity piqued. "spill it," you urge, a playful smile tugging at the corners of your lips.

Iwaizumi lets out a resigned sigh, knowing there's no escaping the impending gossip. "Fine, but keep it down," he says, glancing around to make sure no one nearby can overhear. "What about her?"

"Oh, I've got to hear this," you declare, unable to contain your excitement.

Iwaizumi lets out a long-suffering sigh, shooting Momo a playful glare. "You know what, I thought we agreed to leave my dating disasters in the past," he grumbles with amusement in his eyes.

Momo waves off his protests with a dismissive flick of her hand. "Oh, come on, Iwa-chan, it's all in good fun," she insists, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes.

In the same table you could also hear,

"I'm telling you, guys, it's all in the wrist action," Oikawa insists, his voice laced with a hint of smugness.

Makki chuckles, shaking his head in amusement. "And here I thought you were just born with that perfect hair-pulling technique," he teases, earning a playful shove from Matsukawa.

Oikawa and your other two friends were talking about the proper way to pull someone's hair while you're at it, Oikawa was pretty sure, if not a 100% sure, he had the supreme technique, the mother of all of them.

"Alright, so picture this," Oikawa begins, his eyes gleaming with mischief as he leans in closer to Makki and Mattsun. "You're with a girl, right? And you want to add a little extra... to the moment."

Makki nods eagerly, a grin spreading across his face. "I'm listening," he says, leaning in closer to catch every word.

Oikawa flashes them a confident smirk before continuing. "So, you start by gently running your fingers through her hair," he explains, his voice taking on a theatrical flair. "And then, just when she least expects it, you give a little tug."

Matsukawa raises an eyebrow, a smirk playing at the corners of his lips. "And what's the secret to the perfect tug?" he asks, crossing his arms with an unamused tone.

Oikawa grins, clearly enjoying being the center of attention. "Ah, my dear friends, that is the million-dollar question," he replies, his voice dripping with faux wisdom. "You see, it's all about the timing and the angle. Too hard, and you risk pulling her hair out. Too soft, and it's just not as satisfying."

Makki and Mattsun exchange amused glances, barely able to contain their laughter at Oikawa. "Write that down, write that down," Makki chuckled while hitting Mattsun’s arm.

Having you next to him was perfect for the coming demonstration.

Unbeknownst to you, Oikawa's claims of expertise would soon be put to the test. In a daring move, he seized the opportunity to demonstrate his supposedly flawless technique, entangling his fingers in your hair and giving it a sudden tug. The shock of the unexpected sensation rippled through you, and a soft whimper escaped your lips, instantly catching the attention of your friends.

The air crackled with silent acknowledgment, each member of the group acutely aware of what just happened.

The suddenness of the noise caught you off guard. After that sound came out of your mouth, your eyes flew open in shock. Shocked of having done that noise? While in front of all your friends? Did they hear? The truth was – they had. Of course they did. Only someone who wasn’t paying attention didn’t get to hear you. All of the people in this table got to hear you whimper with the little action your dear friend over here did.

A single thought echoed in your mind. Oikawa what the fuck?

You blinked a few times. As your eyes met with Momo's amused gaze, you saw she was having a hard time keeping her laughter to herself. Next, you turned to Iwaizumi, noting how he was clenching his jaw and the subtle movement of his Adam's apple as he avoided meeting your eyes. Now Makki. His hand was covering his mouth not actually in shock, but with both of his eyebrows raised, you could see a blend of amusement and disbelief, a mirror to your own expression, while Mattsun's swift return to his beer signaled his desire to move past the subject.

“See? I told you it works. I’ve perfected it over time.”

You jerked your head to the side, eyes wide as you tried to process the startling words of this fucker. A fucker who dared turn you on in front of all your friends.

Oikawa's audacious declaration jolted you into reality. His casual demeanor only fueled the disbelief and arousal swirling within you, leaving you speechless and utterly flustered.

“Excuse me, I’ll be right back,”

As you excused yourself to visit the bathroom, the scolding at the table started, with a newfound focus on nagging Oikawa for his move. Momo took the lead, her voice carrying a playful reminder as she wagged her hand at Oikawa. "Oikawa, you can't just go around pulling people's hair like that!" she chided, though a glint sparkled in her eyes, softening the scolding tone. Iwaizumi chimed in with a mock-serious expression, his deep voice laced with amusement. "Yeah, next time, at least buy her dinner first or something," he quipped, earning a round of laughter from the group.

Makki and Mattsun joined in the teasing, their playful banter serving to diffuse any tension. "Come on, Oikawa, we all know you think you’re smooth and all that, but that was a bit much," Makki teased, his grin infectious as he hit Oikawa's shoulder. Mattsun, ever the voice of reason, poked some fun too. "You're lucky she didn't slap you," he joked, raising his glass in a mock-toast to their friend's boldness.

Oikawa’s gaze lingered on the spot where you had disappeared to the bathroom. An impish grin tugged at the corners of his lips. He pushed himself away from the table, something naughty about his aura.

‘I’ll be right back,’ he announced casually, his voice barely above a whisper but loud enough for his friends to hear. Without waiting for a response, he sauntered away from the table, his steps purposeful as he made his way to find you.

Makki and Mattsun exchanged a knowing look, their grins widening as they watched their friend’s calculated move.

“Do we all know where he’s off to?” Makki mused, his voice low enough to make the remaining ones at the table hear him.

Mattsun chuckled softly, taking a sip of his drink before offering his own theory. “Probably to continue his little game with y/n,” he replied, a hint of amusement coloring his tone. “That man doesn’t know when to quit.”

Their conversation was punctuated by Momo’s playful jab, her eyes alight with mischief. “I think Oikawa enjoys stirring up things with her just for the thrill of it,” she quipped.

Iwaizumi couldn't help commenting “Honestly, I think y/n knows exactly what she’s doing too,” he remarked. “She’s always had Shittykawa wrapped around her finger,”

"Wouldn’t surprise me if she gets him about to bust one before we even leave this place,”

"Yeah I remember that time y/n whispered something in my ear that had me blushing for hours. She fucking knows how play with you" Makki smirked.

Mattsun chuckles, shaking his head in amusement. “I guess we've been spared from y/n’s mischief so far,”

“Right, Iwa? Momo?”

Iwaizumi’s lips quirk into a knowing smirk, his gaze flickering briefly to Momo before returning to Mattsun. “Oh, yeah that's right” he replied cryptically. Plainly brushing him off.

Back in the bathroom you couldn't suppress the laughter bubbling up within you at the absurdity of the situation. Despite of having felt embarrassed for a couple of minutes. That actually turned you on. Of course, Oikawa and you have flirted a few times before. It was in both of your natures but tonight it opened a door. You bit your lip as you fixed your hair in the mirror, a mischievous glint danced in your eyes, reflecting a latent desire stirring.

Just as you left the bathroom, to your surprise, there stood Oikawa, a smirk playing at the corner of his lips. His presence caught you off guard, yet you couldn't deny the rush of anticipation that surged through you at the sight of him. "Well, well, well, look who it is," he teased, his voice laced with amusement as he leaned against a door frame, his gaze locking with yours.

As Oikawa began to close the distance between you, his presence seemed to fill the entire room, enveloping you in a heady mix of excitement. You couldn't help but feel small in comparison to his commanding presence, his height and confidence casted a spell over you. Your eyes traced the lines of his figure, taking in every detail, from the confident tilt of his head to the way his shirt clung to his muscular frame.

The air between you thickened and got hotter. Feeling small under his imposing presence, you let your eyes roam over his figure, taking in the way he filled the space around you.

Now it was your turn to toy with him. In a moment of daring impulse, fueled by the charged atmosphere between you, you decide to trace the contours of his torso, your fingertips trembling with anticipation as they hovered over his defined muscles.

As your hand traced him, lingering over the defined curve of his pec, you felt a surge of boldness wash over you. With each deliberate touch, you reveled in the sensation of his warmth beneath your fingertips, relishing the way he responded to your teasing caress.

Oikawa was battling within himself, torn between the desire to reciprocate and the temptation to let you take the lead. He longed to tangle his fingers in your hair once again, or to feel the warmth of your skin beneath his touch. Yet, a voice of restraint urged him to hold back, to savor the moment and revel in your boldness. Wrestling with his impulses, he decided to wait, allowing you to dictate the pace for now, but eagerly anticipating the moment when he could fully engage in this game between you two.

Your eyes, locked in a magnetic gaze with his own, refused to waver, captivated by the depth and intensity of his caramel-colored irises. It was as if they held a secret language, speaking volumes without uttering a single word.

You could feel the heat radiating between you, a palpable energy that pulsed in the air around you. You edged closer to him, close enough to have him smell the intoxicating scent of your freshly shampooed hair mingled with your perfume, the very same perfume he found utterly irresistible and loved since years ago. It was a scent that consistently drew him to your side, the very reason he always sought out the seat next to you in any setting.

Your lips got dangerously close to his own, and he could swear that the same soft whimper you let out a few minutes ago was going to escape his mouth.

With a teasing smile, you leaned back slightly, the warmth of your breath grazing his lips tantalizingly. "See? I have my own tricks too," you whispered, your voice a playful melody that danced in his ears.

As your lips parted from his, a surge of anticipation rippled through him, leaving him longing to clash his lips against yours. But before he could act, your mouth moved to his ear, your words sending a shiver down his spine. "I had to even the score, don’t you think?" you murmured, the gentle tease laced with a hint of filthiness.

As you both return to the table, you notice a fresh round of beers waiting for you, courtesy of your friends.

Their eyes flicker between you and Oikawa, a knowing grin spreading across their faces as they take in his subtle change in expression.

Momo raises an eyebrow playfully. "Looks like someone's got a lot on their mind," she teases, her voice laced with amusement. Iwaizumi offers a knowing smirk, his gaze lingering on Oikawa for a moment before he takes a sip of his drink. "What's got you all worked up, Oikawa?" he asks, his tone light but not passing on the opportunity to embarrass him a bit.

Makki and Mattsun, sharing a silent chuckle as they await Oikawa's response.

Oikawa chuckles nervously, trying to maintain his composure as he feels the weight of everyone’s gaze on him. “Oh, you know, just contemplating the mysteries of the universe,” he quips.

“Bullshit my guy,” you finally said. Pride written all over your face.

Makki's mischievous grin widens as he leans in, unable to resist adding fuel to the fire. "Don’t tell me you’re actually blushing bro," his tone light-hearted but teasing. Oikawa's cheeks flush even more at the remark, and he shoots Makki a mock glare.

Matsukawa chimes in with a smirk, "I thought you were the 'Grand King' Oikawa. Can't handle a little friendly ribbing?"

Between his nerves and his brain recovering from what you did to him, what Oikawa actually heard was, “Can't handle a little friendly rubbing?" And Oikawa's eyes widened slightly, a subtle shift in his demeanor as he realizes the implications of Matsukawa's words.

Oikawa’s voice raised an octave in panic, “WHAT DID YOU SEE?”

Iwaizumi’s smirk widened as he saw his friend's reaction, "Relax, Oikawa," he replies. "We didn't see anything, but your reaction says it all.”

Makki, always the one to jump in with his comments, couldn't resist adding his two cents. "y/n, honey, remind me to never play with your hair," a playful wink sent to you.

bonus. because i'm in love with iwa-chan and i couldn't help imagine this part even though it doesn't fit the story anymore

As the night went on, Iwaizumi found himself gravitating towards you more often than usual, his protective instincts kicking in. Whether it was subtly adjusting his position to make you more comfortable, offering you his jacket when the evening air turned colder, or simply engaging you in conversation with a gentle smile, his actions speak volumes about his care and concern for you. You can't help but feel a warmth spreading in your chest each time he looks out for you. Iwaizumi ended up leaning over and pulled you into a sideways hug, his arm draped casually around your shoulders. With a warm smile, he squeezes you gently, his voice soft as he says, “You feeling okay?” Not sure if he meant something regarding your alcohol intake or something about what happened tonight. Regardless, feeling the comforting weight of his arm around you, you lean into his embrace, grateful for having him in your life, like this.

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syuga-s · 4 months

Text

my love mine all mine

w.c 7.8 k pairing. Johnny x afab!reader genre. fluff, angst, slight smut a/n. MDNI!!!!! people are a mess in the first part, a.k.a. cheaters, Jaehyun and Mark cameo!, there's a part with smut [don't hesitate to skip it, it's very fluffy overall tho] tiny alcohol consumption nothing crazy 🤝

t/w. the smut obviously and an uncomfortable moment with a friend[Jaehyun]

It all started when Sarah's boyfriend found out she was cheating. He was a mess, not knowing what to do or who to turn to, he came to you to try and find some sense of the situation.

Tuesday morning. He was waiting for you to get out of your class. Your friend, Lisa, was with you, both trying to discuss an upcoming test. But Jaehyun didn't care about that, nor the fact that they would be hearing about his problem. He knew that it was only a matter of time until every single soul on campus would know about his relationship and the fact that his girlfriend was a cheater.

He made sure to tell you everything he knew and how he found out. Jaehyun wanted you to help him find who was she cheating with. Matter of fact he already had someone in mind, actually.

Sarah's been one of your best friends since 13 years ago. If someone were to know her best, it was you or Danielle. But Jaehyun came to you, so now you had to get into their little mess. Which maybe you shouldn't have but, here we are.

Jaehyun planned this. He saw the opportunity now that Sarah had gone to an engineering seminar this week and wouldn't be coming back until Sunday night. It would give him plenty of time to figure some things out.

Jaehyun thought Sarah was cheating on him with Johnny.

They were at the same seminar out of town, so it was checking out for him.

But it couldn't be Johnny?

Johnny was with you.

Your thing was a secret though, it's been months since you started seeing each other.

It was your decision for you to be a secret, Johnny accepted it without thinking twice, all he wanted was for you to be with him, people knowing or not didn't matter to him.

Johnny was 2 years older. You’d met him at a café. You knew you wanted to be with him when you realized you were a shy mess the following times you were around him. To him, you had this cute baby energy that was much more than what you let everyone else see. He was sure he wanted to be with you based on how he felt when your eyes decided to look at him.

He didn't want to put much thought into why you decided to keep everything a secret. Secretly he was a romantic who had traditional dating views, styles, approaches. Whatever you want to call it. But he liked the change you represented in his life. He then also decided that he wanted to be with you and that having a secret relationship didn't necessarily mean you couldn't go out on dates or do what every couple does. Except act like one when you're around friends.

You didn't exactly kept his existence a secret. You just started introducing him to your friends without much explanation. He was your Johnny. You all hung out together as if he was just a new addition to the group. You didn't know if your friends were oblivious to the vibe you and Johnny had or just acted like it for your sake. Nevertheless, everyone was happy to have him around, he was like everyone's best friend, especially Sarah and Danielle’s. Which made you happy, too.

As much as they were your best friends, you didn't want to tell them about your relationship with him. Nothing personal but, it was just something you wanted to keep between yourself and him.

It was Thursday and you sent Johnny a text when you woke up. "Are you coming home with me as soon as you arrive on Sunday?" You knew he was going to, he had told you so way before he left.

It's just that you've been feeling weird all week. Everyone had messed up with your head and your relationship. Everyone had logical arguments about how Johnny and Sarah had something going on. Regardless of you knowing that Johnny wouldn't do that to you. It had you second-thinking about what you had decided earlier in the relationship. "If everyone had known we were together, this wouldn't be happening". It had you feeling insecure and sure you made a mistake in hiding what you had with your boyfriend.

But also, what's so special about Sarah and Johnny's relationship that had people thinking they were seeing each other? More importantly, something so special that was making your best friend cheat on her boyfriend.

Sarah and Johnny were both engineer majors and ever since you introduced them you knew they were going to get along well. So it didn't come as a shock to you that they texted every now and then. Him being far ahead of her made sense to you for them to talk outside your gatherings. Still, there were two times when she made you feel weird about it all. Which you couldn't help but think about while all of this was unfolding.

Johnny told you she had reached out to him through Facebook a while ago, and you thought nothing about it. But that time when she sent a screenshot to the group chat about them talking about some football match that was coming up, had you kinda confused. But nothing that you couldn't talk yourself out of. They were being friends and that was some normal friend talk.

But that second time. My god, that second time.

You and all your friends were planning to go out one night. Danielle, Sarah, and you were the ones deciding where to go. Simple as that. But a text made you feel as if someone slapped your face out of nowhere. "I already invited Johnny!!!!" What the fuck.

Next thing you knew, you were shouting to yourself in your room. "Doesn't she have a boyfriend? WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE DOING INVITING MINE?!!" It was loud enough, trust me.

But as soon as those words came out of your mouth, Johnny texted you.

? Attached 1 picture.

As simple as his action was, it comforted you in all the ways you needed. Knowing that his course of action was to ask you what was going on felt huge. Your negative feelings didn't even have room to grow because he made sure to let you know that his mind was with you. Later in the day, when he got to your apartment, you both talked about how weird that was. You told Johnny you felt a pang of jealousy as soon as you saw her text. "I have no intentions of sharing you, I hope you know that".

The seminar came to an end, and Sarah would return from her trip that night. Jaehyun needed to talk to someone at this very moment. His anxiety consumed him, still not knowing how to talk to your best friend, his girlfriend.

It also meant that Johnny would be coming home to you tonight. You guessed that going out and getting back before him would be alright. So you let him know that you were out with Jaehyun and some other friends.

While you were in a smoke break outside of the bar where everyone was, you were casually talking with Jaehyun.

He began sharing his thoughts about all of that was unfolding with Sarah.

You were the only best friend Jaehyun had, the only person who knew how to really listen to him, so he figured he could sort out his feelings and his thoughts and you’d help.

He asked if you thought an individual could talk or even kiss someone else without meaning anything while still being in a relationship.

You said you didn't know. You said you were still a romantic at heart, so if you were already with someone you wouldn't dare break the trust they had in you. “I can’t even imagine doing that.”

He started telling you that in all his previous relationships, all the friends of the particular girlfriend, flirted and crossed the line with him. He explicitly said that he thought that those things didn't matter, that if he played along with them was because they meant nothing to him, it was plain fun for him.

You told him you understood what he was saying. “It all comes down to how you feel about your partner.”

“Hell as long as you get to that kind of arrangement with them I think it’d be alright .”

He asked if you had cheated before.

”Well, basically yes, but it didn't count because the guy wasn't even my boyfriend.” — “I did hook up with two of his friends at the time.” You let out a bitter laugh at the thought.

He kept explaining to you how he felt or what he usually feels in order to have an ‘affair’. You were expecting it. You didn't want the words to get out of his mouth, but you did expect them, dreading them.

"What if we did that?" — "I get along pretty well with you, you're literally so cool, you listen to me, there's plenty of reasons for me to want to kiss you and I know it won't be a bad thing.”

A mix of emotions flooded through you—confusion, shock. You had built a strong bond with Jaehyun, but this proposition was dangerous territory, threatening the very foundation of your friendship.

You turned your eyes to look at the door of the bar you had in front and took a drag of your cigarette. Then you patted Jaehyun’s back. In that moment, you had a choice to make—one that would have lasting consequences. And as you looked into Jaehyun’s eyes, you gathered the strength to respond, your voice laced with a mix of resolution and vulnerability.

“Let’s not risk losing this friendship Jae.” You continued. “You’re just going through something difficult.”

Later that night, Jaehyun offered to give you a ride home. Little did you know that this ride would become a turning point, a catalyst for even more confusion. As you sat in the passenger seat, a heavy tension filled the air, palpable and suffocating.

Jaehyun’s actions spoke volumes, even as words remained unspoken. His fingers found their way to your hand, and with each stroke, you could feel the weight of his struggle. It was a dangerous dance, a forbidden connection that should never have existed, considering he was still in a relationship with Sarah.

His fingers began to stroke yours, tracing delicate patterns that mirrored the delicate intricacies of the connection he was feeling. Each movement was laden with tenderness, as if he was wanting to caress not just your hand, but your very soul. The weight of his actions was palpable, his touch carrying the knowledge that he shouldn't be doing this, that it crossed boundaries he had vowed to respect.

Yet, at that moment, all rational thought faded into insignificance, overshadowed by the rawness of your friendship. It was as if time stood still, allowing this stolen moment to unfold, heedless of the consequences it may bring.

Jaehyun’s touch spoke volumes, whispering secrets and desires that words could never fully convey.

Confusion engulfed your mind as you wrestled with conflicting emotions. The lines blurred, and the boundaries you thought were steadfast began to crumble. What did his touch mean? Was it a desperate plea for solace, a cry for understanding, or simply a selfish act of betrayal? You longed for the ride to end, hoping that escaping the confined space of the car would offer clarity or, at the very least, a respite from the swirling chaos.

With each stroke, Jaehyun seemed to etch this moment into his memory. The lines of your palm, the delicate curve of your fingers—everything became a canvas for his affectionate exploration.

As the weight of the moment hung in the air, you turned to the simple act of resting your head on the window of Jaehyun’s car. It was an instinctual response, a way to create a sense of shielding yourself from the intensity of his gaze.

Your decision to avert your eyes from his was partly out of avoidance.

Instead, your gaze traveled to the entwined hands—his and yours—held together in a delicate embrace.

Every passing moment dragged on, the silence between you both growing more deafening with each mile. The weight of unspoken words hung heavy, suffocating any chance for coherent thought. You were trapped in a labyrinth of tangled emotions, desperately seeking an escape route.

As you finally arrived at your place, a mix of relief and apprehension washed over you. Stepping out of the car, you felt an invisible tether snap, freeing you from the suffocating atmosphere that had clouded your judgment. It was a brief respite, a momentary release from the confusion that threatened to consume you.

He stepped out of the car and walked around to your side, an unspoken understanding passing between you. The weight of the situation hung in the air, as both of you knew that this moment was crucial.

Jaehyun walked beside you, his presence a comforting yet conflicting force. With every step, the space between you seemed to hold a thousand unspoken words that danced on the edge of forbidden territory.

In that fleeting moment, Jaehyun enveloped you in a hug, his embrace both weird yet familiar. His lips brushed against your cheek in a gentle, lingering kiss, leaving a trace of longing and uncertainty in its wake.

Your heart raced, conflicted emotions swirling within you like a tempest. It was a bittersweet gesture, filled with affection and desire, but also tinged with the knowledge of the boundaries that had been crossed. At that moment, the weight of your choices and their consequences hung heavily upon your shoulders.

As you pulled away from the embrace, a mixture of gratitude and unease flooded your being. The complexity of the situation became even more apparent. It was a crossroad, a moment where you had to decide which relationships to prioritize and the impact of your actions on those you cared about.

With a heavy heart, you watched Jaehyun get back to his car, his presence lingering in your thoughts. The echoes of the night resonated within you.

Closing the door behind you, you stood alone in the quiet of your home. The boundaries of your friendships had been tested.

How could Jaehyun and Sarah betray each other in such a way? And why did you have to get dragged into the picture? Guilt gnawed at your conscience.

The glow from your phone screen caught your attention. It was a message from Johnny, a simple yet deeply caring question: "Did you get home safe, baby? I’m on my way to you already" The term of endearment made your heart flutter.

The contrasting emotions of the evening surged within you, creating a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. Jaehyun’s touch still lingered, the weight of his actions pressing against your conscience. And yet, Johnny's message served as a grounding force, a reminder of the love you had with him.

Your mind raced as you contemplated how to respond. Part of you yearned to pour out the complexities of the evening, to share the turmoil that had taken hold of your heart. But another part of you hesitated, fearful of making Johnny think that you had betrayed the trust and connection you had built with him.

In the end, you chose to respond with a simple yet reassuring message: "Yes, I'm home safe baby. thanks for asking, are you close??" It was a way to acknowledge his concern and to convey that you were physically safe, without delving into the emotional turmoil that had unfolded.

As you hit send, a sense of guilt washed over you. You knew that secrets were corrosive to relationships, and the weight of the unspoken weighed heavily on your conscience.

Taking a deep breath, you resolved to confront the complexity of your emotions head-on.

As the weight of the evening's events continued to bear down on you, a profound longing for the comfort and solace of Johnny's presence overwhelmed your senses. The internal turmoil left you yearning for his loving embrace, the reassurance that only he could provide.

Unable to ignore the depth of your emotions any longer, you found yourself typing out another message to Johnny. The words flowed from your fingertips, carrying the raw vulnerability that consumed your being. "My love, I need to tell you something and it can’t wait, pls tell me you’re literally at the door :("

In that moment, it wasn't just the physical act of being in Johnny's arms that you craved—it was the emotional refuge that he offered. His hugs had always been a balm for your soul, a source of comfort that could ease the most burdensome of thoughts. It was in his embrace that you found solace and a sense of belonging.

As you hit send, a mix of anticipation and anxiety coursed through you. You hoped that Johnny would understand the urgency and depth of your plea, recognizing the vulnerability that compelled you to reach out immediately a second time.

With each passing second, you anxiously awaited his response, your heart beating in rhythm with the ticking clock. The silence seemed interminable, the weight of your own emotions threatening to drown out the world around you.

And then, just as doubt began to creep in, a familiar chime cut through the air, signaling the arrival of a message from Johnny. The screen illuminated with his words of reassurance and love, providing a lifeline for your aching heart. "your man is here baby".

As you welcomed your boyfriend, you jumped to embrace him in a warm, comforting hug, one that you needed the most. The weight of the evening's events began to lift, replaced by a sense of security and love. His laughter filled the room, serving as a gentle reminder that you were not alone in navigating the complexities of life and relationships.

Together, you made your way to bed, seeking the solace of shared intimacy. As you nestled into the comfort of the covers, you knew that Johnny was the only person you could confide in about the events that had unfolded. With him, there was an unspoken trust.

You began narrating the events of the past week, from the moment Jaehyun entered your life with his troubled relationship to the intense car ride and the conflicting emotions that had left you feeling wounded by it all.

The anguish in your voice was evident as you lamented the pain of being treated like a mere object and the disappointment that came from those you had trusted betraying your friendship. The thought of Jaehyun, the boyfriend of your best friend, crossing boundaries with you weighed heavily on your conscience, and you asked Johnny for forgiveness for allowing it to happen.

“I don't know, Johnny. It's just...everything with Jaehyun and Sarah. It's all been so overwhelming.” You sighed.

“It's just been a lot to process. Like, I never expected Jaehyun to come to me for help with his relationship problems. And then there's the whole thing with people saying Sarah is cheating on him with you...it's just a mess.”

His furrowed brows and slightly parted lips revealed his dumbfounded state.

"Wait, what?" Johnny's voice held a note of genuine bewilderment. He couldn't help but feel a rush of confusion as he tried to reconcile the events you were describing with the relationship he knew he had with you.

As you continued, mentioning the rumors about Sarah cheating on her boyfriend with him, Johnny's eyes widened in disbelief. His mind raced, attempting to make sense of how such unfounded rumors could have circulated. It was clear that he was taken aback, not just by the situation itself, but also by the fact that people could even suggest such a thing.

His eyes locked onto yours, searching for a thread of understanding. "Sarah and me? Cheating?" His voice held a mix of disbelief and genuine innocence. "I mean, she’s your best friend, I think she’s nice, but I've never had any kind of romantic ~thing~ with her. I don't know where that shit’s coming from."

“I know, Johnny. That's why I love what we have. There's no one else I have ever trusted more than you.” — “and it pains me because all this week I’ve been beating myself up for not telling everyone that you’re mine, if I had done that simple action, none of this would have happened.”

But as you continued, recounting the intensity of the car ride and the pain you felt from being betrayed by someone you considered a friend, Johnny's brows furrowed. The pain in your voice resonated with him, the depth of your emotions hitting close to home.

Your words hung in the air, a tangible weight that both of you felt deeply. And then, when you asked for his forgiveness, for letting that happen.

A mixture of surprise and sadness washed over Johnny's features. He gently reached out, his fingers lifting your chin so that your eyes met his.

"Hey," he said softly, his voice a gentle reassurance. "You don't need to ask for my forgiveness. You've done nothing wrong. You're not responsible for other people's actions, and you definitely don't have to say sorry for our relationship, remember I agreed to this too."

“We’re not at fault for all the mistakes your friends are making.”

He hated that you felt like that and even realized that he loved you more than he thought when he reminisced about the part when you told Jaehyun that you would never imagine breaking your partner's trust.

“Johnny. I don't know what I'd do without you.”

He wrapped his arms around you and said “You don't have to worry about that. I'm not going anywhere baby.” — “No one has ever placed such unwavering trust in me before. Thank you for not believing what everyone was saying about Sarah and me.”

As the moonlight gently spilled into the room, the ambiance was serene, creating an atmosphere charged with anticipation. Your heart pounded, echoing in your ears, you were sat on the edge of the bed.

Your eyes locked with Johnny's. In that moment, it felt as if time ceased to exist, and all that mattered was the connection between you.

Your conversation had been filled with intense emotions, revealing the depths of your love for each other. It had been a delicate dance of vulnerability. The tension between you grew with every word shared, until it reached its peak, and the both of you knew without a doubt that this was the moment you had been waiting for all week.

Johnny, with eyes that glimmered with affection, moved closer to you, his hand instinctively brushing against yours. You could feel the heat radiate from his touch, enveloping you in a comforting embrace. Your fingers delicately intertwined, the electricity between them intensified, creating an invisible force that drew you closer together.

When Jaehyun's hand enveloped yours, there was an air of tension, an undercurrent of fickleness that seemed to color the interaction. The touch left you feeling unsettled, a sense of discomfort gnawing at your thoughts. The weight of his actions created an atmosphere of unease, one that was difficult to shake off.

In contrast, when Johnny held your hand, the sensation was entirely different. His touch was gentle yet firm, a silent promise of support and unwavering love for you. The warmth that radiated from his grasp was a balm for your soul, a reminder that you were not alone in facing whatever was thrown at you. It was a touch that spoke volumes, conveying his devotion and understanding without the need for words.

With Johnny, everything felt like —a tangible expression of the love and trust you shared. His touch exuded a sense of safety, an assurance that you were cherished and protected. The way his fingers intertwined with yours felt like an unspoken vow, a reminder that he was there to stand by your side through thick and thin.

Jaehyun's touch left you questioning his intentions, while Johnny's touch reaffirmed your bond. The contrast between the two experiences illustrated the power of genuine connection versus superficial gestures.

In that instance, your gazes became magnets, irresistibly pulling them toward each other. Your lips inches apart, you nervously shared breaths, your anticipation building with every passing second. You could feel the rise and fall of Johnny's chest, mirroring your own erratic heartbeat.

With bated breath, you closed your eyes, surrendering yourselves completely to the moment.

Your lips met, igniting a spark that could set the world aflame. It started slowly, a gentle exploration of passion, expressing more than mere words ever could. Your mouths moved together with a tenderness, a delicate dance that conveyed their longing, desire, and most of all, a profound love that had been waiting to be unleashed.

As your kiss deepened, your connection became more intense, an intertwining of souls. Every touch, every lingering caress, manifested your commitment to each other. Time stood still, and the rest of the world faded into the background, completely irrelevant in the face of your love.

You broke apart only when the need for breath became too strong, your foreheads resting against each other. You were breathless, your eyes searching each other for confirmation, for the knowledge that this night had sealed your fate together.

Johnny knew that this kiss was not merely a physical connection.

As you continued to hold each other, your hands instinctively explored, fingers gently tracing the contours of each other's backs. A soft sigh escaped your lips.

Your bodies molded together seamlessly, every curve and contour fitting as if you were two halves of a whole. In the warmth of the moment, an unspoken longing hung in the air. Your eyes met a connection sparking like a flame. Time seemed to slow, stretching the moment into eternity. And in that perfect stillness, both knew what was about to unfold.

Your lips brushed together in a tentative, feather-light touch, a whisper of a promise. The sensation sent shivers down his spine.

With a newfound urgency, your lips met properly once again.

This time with an intensity that mirrored the depth of your emotions. His kisses deepened, a symphony of desire and longing intertwining your souls. You lost yourselves in the exquisite dance of your mouths, tongues caressing and exploring, a sensual rhythm that spoke volumes of your shared passion.

The world around you ceased to exist as your bodies molded together. Hands roamed with fervor, fingers tangling in hair, tracing the contours of backs, and gripping onto each other as if you were afraid to let go.

You leaned back against the pillows behind you with a contented smile. Johnny couldn't resist reaching out to trace the curve of your neckline with his finger, causing you to shiver pleasantly. His hand lingered there for a moment longer than necessary, taking in the softness of your skin and the rapid rise and fall of your chest.

You closed your eyes, savoring the warmth spreading throughout your body as Johnny's touch ignited a fiery sensation within you. You bit your lip gently, trying to suppress the moan that threatened to escape from your throat.

Across the room, Johnny watched in awe as your expression transformed from calm serenity to burning desire right before his very eyes. His heart raced with anticipation, eager to explore the depths of emotion that lay hidden behind those captivating brown eyes.

"Baby," he whispered hoarsely, reaching out to cup your face in his hands. "Do you want me right now?"

You nodded without hesitation, your lips parting slightly to reveal the soft pink flesh inside. Johnny couldn't resist the urge to dip his head forward and capture those lips with his own, kissing you deeply and passionately until you both lost track of time.

He could feel your breath coming faster and shallower, your chest rising and falling against his own.

Your eyes remained closed, lost in the ecstasy of his kisses as he trailed them down your jawline to your neck. He suckled gently at the tender skin there, eliciting a soft moan of pleasure from your lips.

In response, Johnny grew bolder, exploring the contours of your body with his hands. He slid them underneath your shirt, tracing the curves of your waist and hips before moving higher up to stroke the sensitive flesh above your breasts.

You let out a sharp intake of breath, arching your back as waves of pleasure coursed through your body.

Johnny paused for a moment, savoring the sight of your bared torso quivering with excitement. Then, with a determined smile, he unfastened the clasp of your bra and pushed it aside, revealing two perfect mounds that trembled enticingly before him.

His lips parted hungrily as he captured one nipple between his teeth, suckling hard until it stood erect under his tongue.

You writhed restlessly against him, whimpering softly as you arched your back even further. Johnny moved on to your other breast, lavishing equal attention upon it, eliciting cries of delight and helpless arousal from your lips. Your breath came faster still, the soft rise and fall of your chest intensifying your need for him.

The sounds of your mutual desire filled the otherwise silent room, creating an erotic scenery that only heightened the intensity of this very moment.

Unable to contain himself any longer, Johnny took your hands in his own, lifting them to guide you toward the edge of the bed. With gentle precision, he helped you lie down beside him, your delicate frame curving gracefully into the indentations left behind by his body. Your hearts thundered wildly in sync, a rhythm that spoke volumes about the passion burning within you both.

A shudder ran through you as you stretched your legs wide apart, inviting Johnny to come closer.

Your gaze locked once again, conveying a mixture of desire and tenderness. Johnny lowered himself carefully between your thighs, his muscular form seeming larger and more powerful now in comparison to your figure.

Slowly, he began to move his hands along your thighs, causing your breath to catch in your throat. Every touch sent shivers of anticipation through your nerves, awakening feelings of raw, unbridled passion you hadn't experienced before.

Gently, Johnny positioned himself between your spread legs, the heat from his body seeping into yours. He studied you, noticing your breath become shorter and shallower as he drew nearer. Reaching out slowly, he cupped your heat, finding it wet and swollen with desire. You gave a small gasp of surprise, breaking your eye contact briefly. Johnny smiled to himself, knowing he was about to give you a night you would never forget.

His fingers found your entrance, and he teased you with a soft, circular motion around your core.

He watched your reaction closely; the playful dance of emotions on your face, the way your brow furrowed in concentration, your cheeks flushing red with arousal. With each movement, he brought you closer to the precipice of ecstasy without quite letting you fall over the edge.

Your breath came in short, shallow gasps as your body quivered with anticipation. Your eyes met his, silently begging him to bring you to completion. Johnny nodded subtly, acknowledging your desires.

Slipping his fingers effortlessly into your folds, he gently massaged your clit, applying just the right amount of pressure to send waves of pleasure coursing through your body. You arched your back, gripping tightly onto the sheets as you let out a low moan of pure euphoria. You could hardly believe the intensity of the sensations building inside you; the warmth of Johnny's touch combined with the exquisite tingling in your core was beyond anything you could have ever imagined.

With every thrust of his fingers, your breath hitched deeper, your body aching for release. Giving in to your instincts, you shifted your hips, encouraging Johnny to increase the pace and pressure of his touch. His eyes narrowed with satisfaction, knowing that he was bringing you closer to the peak of ecstasy.

Moans escaped your lips with increasing frequency as you neared the brink. The power dynamics shifted ever so slightly, now giving you control over him.

With newfound confidence, you guided Johnny's hands and mouth expertly, ensuring that every touch was precisely where you desired.

Johnny could see the fire blazing in your eyes, mirroring the inferno raging within him. The connection you shared seemed almost supernatural—a bond fueled by your undeniable chemistry and deep respect for one another.

Johnny gazed into your eyes, his expression a mix of adoration and reverence. He pulled you into a tender embrace, your bodies still entwined as if reluctant to let go of the intimacy you had just shared.

In the silence that followed, the weight of the week's chaos seemed to dissipate, replaced by the tranquility of the present moment. The contours of your bodies fit together perfectly, like two pieces of a puzzle finding their rightful place.

The following week you had invited your friends for a casual evening of dinner and drinks at your place. Sarah and Jaehyun were the first to arrive, finding Johnny already there, making himself comfortable by the kitchen island. The four of you chatted, sharing snippets of your week. Most importantly Sarah and Jaehyun mentioned they were still together, still working through things, and Johnny playfully teased them about ‘couple goals’. All you wanted was to land a smack to the back of your boyfriend's beautiful head.

Danielle and her boyfriend joined the gathering next, their laughter blending seamlessly with the lively atmosphere. Mark, being fashionably late, arrived with an armful of drinks, causing cheers and applause from the group. The evening unfolded with everyone having a great time, enjoying the drinks, praising your cooking as you gave the finishing touches to dinner. The cozy ambiance, the clinking of glasses, and the laughter filled your home with warmth.

Seizing the perfect moment when the joy was at its peak, you decided it was time. You took a deep breath, looking around at the faces of your closest friends, each one dear to you in their unique way.

“Guys, I actually been wanting to tell you something" you began, a playful smile dancing on your lips. Johnny, sitting beside you, squeezed your hand under the table in silent support.

Before you could go on, Mark chimed in and said "Oh my god, you're pregnant."

Getting everyone to laugh, Johnny being the one laughing the loudest, but as everyone kept giggling their eyes were starting to show concern.

"Jesus Mark, I wouldn't be drinking if I was," you replied, joining in the laughter. Johnny playfully nudged Mark, adding, "Man, you just killed the surprise."

Jaehyun, couldn't resist chiming in, "Well, I would’ve loved one of those gender reveal’s you see on TikTok. Like color bombs or confetti falling from the ceiling. But I guess a quiet dinner is nice too."

The momentary diversion diffused your tension, and now, with everyone still chuckling, the atmosphere held a perfect balance between humor and anticipation. It was the ideal setting for letting your friends know you’ve been keeping a secret from them for months.

"Johnny and I have been seeing each other for a while now."

A ripple of surprise and realization spread across your friends' faces. Sarah, Danielle, Jaehyun and Mark exchanged glances, the puzzle pieces falling into place. Johnny grinned, his affectionate gaze fixed on you.

"On a serious note, though," you began, glancing around at each of your friends, "I need to say something before anything else. I know we've been keeping this a secret for a while, and I understand if that felt a bit... I don't know, like we were excluding you. But believe me, it was never about that. Johnny and I just wanted to make sure what we had was real before bringing it out into the open."

Johnny nodded in agreement, his eyes reflecting the same sincerity. "Yeah, we wanted it to be solid between us. Not that we doubted, but, you know, it's different when it's just the two of us."

You could sense a shift in the atmosphere, a comprehension in your friends' eyes. Sarah and Danielle exchanged a look, a silent conversation passing between them. Jaehyun, though still wearing a playful smile, showed a glimmer of understanding.

"I get it," Mark said, raising his glass, "We've all been there in different ways. Here's to keeping things real and, apparently, a surprise that's not a baby."

As the initial shock wore off, your friends began bombarding Johnny with questions and teasing remarks. He fielded them with a good-natured laugh, a perfect balance of humor and sincerity. Amid the banter, he leaned over to whisper in your ear, "Totally worth it, don't you think?" You nodded, feeling the shared joy of revealing your relationship to the world, or at least your cherished friend group.

"I can’t believe you guys have kept this ‘secret’ for so long" Danielle grinned, her excitement contagious. "Spill!, how did it happen? And why the secrecy? I need the tea!”

Johnny chimed in, his tone playful, "What do you mean 'secret'?" He made air quotes with his fingers, a mock-innocent expression on his face. "Were we that obvious?”

"Well, 'secret' might be a bit of an exaggeration," you replied, emphasizing the air quotes. "But, yeah, we did keep it on the down-low for a while. As for how it happened..." You exchanged a conspiratorial glance with Johnny, a playful smile tugging at the corners of your lips.

Johnny leaned back, feigning surprise. "Wait, are you telling me we're a secret couple? I thought we were just being cool and mysterious."

A few days ago, you and Johnny sat in your favorite spot at the park, a hidden alcove shaded by vibrant greenery. The sunlight filtered through the leaves, casting a warm glow on both of you.

You took a deep breath, your hands tingling with anticipation. "Johnny, I think it's time we tell our friends about us," you suggested, eyes meeting his.

Johnny, always the joker, raised an eyebrow. "Tell them what? That we share the same taste in sandwiches? They already know that."

You chuckled, nudging him playfully. "No, I mean about us being together."

He feigned surprise, widening his eyes dramatically. "Together? When did that happen?" he teased.

You rolled your eyes, but there was a playful glint in them. "You knew the moment you laid eyes on me," you said, recalling that day when sparks seemed to fly between you two.

Johnny grinned, his expression softening. "Yeah, I did." He took your hand. "But seriously, why now? Why not keep it our little secret?"

You sighed, looking at the intertwined fingers. "Because, Johnny, our love is something to be shared. And, to be honest, I'm tired of not being able to jump at you when we’re around our friends. Do you have any idea how hard it is to keep my hands to myself?"

Johnny's eyes widened, and then a mischievous grin spread across his face. "Oh, so you've been dying to jump at me, huh?"

"Maybe. And I think it's time everyone knows about it."

Johnny laughed, squeezing your hand. “Alright, alright. But how do we make it interesting? We can’t just drop it like that.”

You pondered for a moment, “What if we pretend like we were keeping it a secret to make sure it was real? You know, build up the suspense.”

Johnny laughed, nodding in approval. “I like it. Adds a bit of drama. Frees us from the guilt. Let’s do it. But just so you know, I knew it was real the moment I laid eyes on you.”

"So, how long have you been keeping this from us?" Jaehyun asked, with a forced grin.

Johnny threw an arm around your shoulders, grinning. "Well, you see, we're ancient. Been together forever now."

Jaehyun chuckled, "Come on, give me a real answer."

You shared a conspiratorial look with Johnny before revealing, "Alright, fine. It's been a few months."

Jaehyun raised an eyebrow, "Months? Impressive."

Johnny said, “Yeah, that’s long enough to know secrets aren't always worth sharing." The atmosphere crackled with unresolved history, a quiet battlefield where the scars of unspoken words fought for acknowledgment.

"Clearly," Jaehyun replied, "I'm happy for you two.”

The memory of Jaehyun's words and actions lingered in the air, unspoken yet palpable. Johnny's demeanor remained tinged with passive-aggressiveness, a silent reproach echoing the discomfort from that night.

Feeling Johnny's tension rising, you discreetly pinched his leg under the table, a silent plea for him to keep his cool around Jaehyun. Surprisingly, instead of reacting, he responded with a subtle kiss on your temple, a quiet reassurance that he had everything under control.

Mark raised an eyebrow and asked, "So, are you two going to share the story of how you met? I remember Johnny just spawned in our lives, and we all had to act like it was the most normal thing in the world.”

Sarah leaned forward with a mischievous glint in her eyes. "Don't leave out any juicy details.”

"So, there I was, being all mysterious in this café, attempting to look like I was doing something important on my laptop—typical Johnny stuff, you know?"

He glanced at you with a smirk, "And then, in she walked, like sunshine in human form. Now, you'd think fate would be on my side, but no, she didn't even notice me. Can you believe it? The great Johnny, overlooked. But here's the thing, I loved the challenge. It wasn't about being the center of attention; it was about grabbing her attention."

Taking a sip of his drink, Johnny continued, "So, I'm there, crafting my plan to make a grand entrance into her life, and she's completely unaware. Classic love story, right? Except, in my version, I'm the hero with a laptop."

Cue a teasing grin, "I finally get the guts to talk to her, and we start chatting about everything—our favorite movies, embarrassing childhood stories, you name it. But here's the secret sauce: I intentionally spilled coffee on myself just to make her laugh. And folks, it worked like a charm. Nothing like a stained shirt to break the ice."

He winked at you, "Now, fast forward through the laughter and coffee-stained confessions, and there it was—the moment. I realized I was in trouble, deep trouble. I was in love. But did I confess right then and there? Nah, I played it cool. Who falls in love at a café, right?"

He leaned in conspiratorially. "When she excused herself to go to the restroom, I texted our group chat, 'Guys, I think I'm in trouble.'”

"But let me tell you, that ordinary Tuesday was the day my life got an upgrade. And here's the thing, she still doesn't know about the intentional coffee spill. So, shh, it's our little secret. That’s how Johnny fell for the girl who could make him spill coffee on himself and still think he's the coolest guy around."

"And the secrecy," Johnny added, "that was mostly her idea. She wanted to make sure I wasn't just blinded by her dazzling personality."

You shot him a playful glare. "Oh, please. You were the one making jokes about wanting to make sure it was real before telling people. Mr. 'I knew it was real the moment I laid my eyes on you.'"

Amidst the laughter and teasing, Johnny leaned back, crossing his arms with a dramatic sigh. "Well, I had to play it cool, you know? Didn't want you to think I was head over heels from day one."

"Too late for that," you interjected, earning a mock offended look from Johnny.

Sarah recalled. "Remember the time we all went hiking, and you two disappeared for like an hour?"

Johnny grinned, mischief dancing in his eyes. "Oh, that? Just appreciating nature, you know."

Danielle, ever the curious one, raised an eyebrow, "What about that time you both disappeared during the beach on the 4th? We thought you got lost.”

Leaning back with a smirk, she added, "I also remember that rooftop dinner you invited us to. You guys just disappeared to 'check on dessert’.

Johnny shrugged, a playful smirk on his face. "Can you blame me? She looked way too good to resist.”

"I can't count the number of times we'd be at a party, and you two would vanish into thin air. Once, I even caught you sharing a jacket. Classic move, by the way.”

Jaehyun, feigning innocence, added his piece, "And the cafe, the one where you both supposedly 'met by chance'? Yeah, right. I remember walking in on you two in the middle of what seemed like a deep conversation."

You laughed, "We were just in the middle of choosing the right coffee blend, right babe?” Leaning into your boyfriend’s chest.

Mark's innocent demeanor cracked into a confused expression. "Man, you got me good. I thought you two were just really good friends, like the 'know-each-other's-favorite-snack' level of friendship."

Johnny chuckled, "Well, we are that too. Just with a few extra layers, you know? Keeps things interesting."

Sarah playfully nudged Mark, "Oh, come on, Mark. You didn't see the signs? The stolen glances, the synchronized laughter, the subtle touches? It was practically a rom-com in the making."

Mark scratched his head, looking at you both with newfound realization. "Wait, so all those times you guys were conveniently sitting next to each other, sharing food, and finishing each other's sentences... that was more than just friendship?"

Johnny laughed, giving you a teasing look. "Mark, my man, you're catching on. Took you a while, but you got there."

You playfully nudged Johnny and stood up. You went to hug Mark and say, "Don't blame our baby, he's not a hopeless romantic like us, that's all."

Mark chuckled and returned the hug. "Well, I guess I'm witnessing the birth of a romance expert here."

Your boyfriend joined the joke, "Don't worry, Mark, we'll give you some lessons. Relationship 101 with Johnny."

#nct 127 #johnny suh #suh youngho #nct johnny #johnny nct #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct fic #nct fluff #nct angst #nct x reader #nct x y/n #nct x you #nct mark #nct jaehyun #jung jaehyun #mark lee #nct fanfic #johnny x reader

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syuga-s · 9 months

Text

whispers in the dark

w.c 4.7 k pairing. my loveYoongi x afab!reader genre. fluff, sUgGeStIvE kinda, just romantic first encounters a/n. he's a dream I can't believe it, guys I love yoongi so much, idek why I've had this in my drafts for like a YEAR, I'm gonna try and upload stories more often so here you go. mentions of alcohol, moderate consumption nothing extreme 🤝

You noticed when this man sat down beside you, not invading your personal space but he was close enough, letting you marvel at his delicate features. You didn't care that he would see you looking at him, he sat next to you for a reason. His presence was alluring, however, it didn't mean that you’d be the one making the first move.

You weren’t in the mood to go crazy like Lisa and Zoe tonight. They let you know beforehand that their goal was to get absolutely wasted and after all these years of knowing them, you learned that you were no one to stop them.

Tonight you were sitting on a couch, downing your drink quietly, admiring the atmosphere, noticing how everyone was eager to get drunk and you could only watch them in awe. Is that how I look when I want to get drunk too?

You got lost in your own world, you didn’t want to pay much attention to your close surroundings. This week had been crazy and getting yourself looking pretty to drink and sit in a room full of strangers felt like the right choice.

You kept an eye on your two best friends, looking after them from afar, concerned about them getting too drunk or getting themselves in a dangerous something. Fortunately, they were just having fun, dancing, being the center of attention. Every single individual on the dance floor hyping them up or buying them drinks.

You were usually with them, you also liked being the center of attention, it’s not as if you don’t like to have fun but tonight wasn't that kind of night.

Tonight you were happy drinking by yourself at your table, being the safe-keeper of your purses. You weren't even checking your phone, cause to be honest there wasn't anything to check in there.

And you wouldn't dare post a story on Instagram. That would be an open door for a bunch of DM's from people you weren't interested in or them showing up unannounced and ruining your night.

Hoseok, Jimin, and Jungkook almost dragged Yoongi out here tonight. It's not like he doesn't enjoy going out but on this particular Friday, he ~really~ didn't want to come to a club to just plop down on a couch and drink when he could perfectly do so in the comfort of his own home.

But apparently, his friends told him that "he hasn't gone out in weeks" and that he "needs to socialize more".

He wishes that they would take into account that he does go out for errands plus he walks Holly often. And that he can perfectly socialize through texts. Nevertheless, he ended up agreeing to go out with them for a while.

“Fine but I’m gonna complain the whole time.”

His expectations for the night were below the ground.

Yoongi noticed you and your little group of friends since you arrived. There was an aura about you three that he immediately spotted but as the night progressed he understood that whatever he had perceived came only from you.

There was something about you that made him realize he had to make an effort to catch your attention. One way or another.

He also knew it wouldn't be easy because, for the past hour and a half, he's been hesitant to do anything thanks to your intimidating stare. You haven't even spared a glance at a single individual and your gaze feels so heavy even from a few feet away.

"Why is she by herself ?"

"She came with friends so it's not like she doesn't have anyone"

“She can drink well”

It's like he's studying your every move.

Jungkook was already buzzed by now. Hoseok and Jimin were on the dance floor since they arrived here, maybe they even were with Lisa and Zoe at this point. They were like the identical versions of each other's and their goal tonight was to get very drunk too. Those four are meant to meet.

Kook wasn't on his 'bad decisions' agenda tonight so he was really happy just drinking beside his friend. But then he started noticing that Yoongi wasn't drinking like he usually did. He seemed lost in thought.

"Everything cool Yoongi?" No answer.

He scooted over closer to him and asked again, "Are you okay?" Still no answer. Jungkook now decided to take his eyes where Yoongi had fixated his. And he understood it all.

There was this breathtaking girl a few tables away from theirs. All black outfit. She was only scanning the place with a drink in hand, no phone or friends on sight. Kook grinned at this and thought "just Yoongi's type."

"She looks very mysterious huh" and with these words, Yoongi came out of his trance. "Huh? Who? What are you talking about?" Jungkook now did laugh and threw his arm around Yoongi, "you should go talk to her, she's all alone!"

Yes, I know Kookie "what if she WANTS to be alone?" Yoongi paused and turned to his younger friend, "I saw her come with her friends, if she wanted company she wouldn't be by herself." He finished his drink and started fidgeting with the glass.

Kook pursed his lips at this, his fuzzy brain not letting him register the reason for his friend's doubts. “Yoongi… I can’t believe you sometimes, just go and talk to her, I know she’ll like you.”

And he wasn’t wrong.

You felt something about him as soon as he sat beside you and immediately started to wonder why you hadn't seen him before when you were scanning everyone in the place. He exudes class, way more than everyone in here but his energy feels so calm. That feels like an odd combo.

And well, it’s not like you were scouting for someone tonight but he’s everything you like at first sight.

You can’t behave yourself when a man looks as composed as him, has long black hair, wearing a perfectly neat suit with a t-shirt, and let’s not start with his hands.

You felt like a puddle as soon as you eyed his huge manly hands.

You finished your gin neat and the sound of ice clinking made Yoongi turn his eyes at your glass. You also checked out he wasn’t drinking anything anymore and debated within yourself if you should say something right now.

Yet he beat you to it. While you were playing with your ring on your pointer finger you finally heard his deep, raspy voice.

“You don’t like to dance?” He stated without making eye contact with you, he was looking at your friends with his friends on the dance floor.

You thought you misheard him because you weren’t expecting that question. You grinned at him and he was able to see your right dimple. Still avoiding eye contact you told him, “I do, very much, but I’m not in the mood tonight” you paused and decided you wanted to know why wasn’t he dancing either.

You rested your chin on your hand and turned to him, finally your eyes on each other. “What about you? I doubt you only came here to talk to antisocial girls.” He was the first to laugh at this, the sound of his laugh as attractive as him. “You should know I’m famous for approaching girls that are alone.” You flashed him another smile after those words. Maybe he’s nervous, you thought. That’s cute.

“I’m sorry I’m joking, I like dancing but I don’t usually come to these places.” You glanced at your friends and luckily they were in the company of two cute guys, Lisa saw you too and sent you a little wave. You smiled at this, knowing you could ease up a little and turned your attention towards the man beside you.

He was anxious about this, he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable because you were being really nice to him, all the opposite of what he imagined at first. “How come? Well no, I guess I get it, there are days when you don’t want to go out and ‘socialize’ right?” You were being really friendly but he still couldn’t get past your intense gaze.

“Yeah, today was one of those, but actually my friends over there — pointed to where Lisa and Zoe were, fancy seeing that now Jungkook had joined them — made me come, so here I am.”

“Oh my god, are those your friends?!” Both of you took a quick glance at the scene your friends were making and you slowly returned to give him a shocked look.

He had sensed the same thing sooner than you and confirmed “I am literally powerless to stop them.” “Happy to know we are both useless.” You giggled with him and made eye contact for a few seconds longer.

His company felt heavenly. No longer remembering that you wanted to drink alone. He was being really nice and you were feeling very attracted to him just by hearing his voice, even with all this noise. The conversation was easy with him. You honestly couldn’t stop stealing glances at him.

“You want to go out for some air?” He offered and you accepted. Quickly grabbing your three purses, you got up and made your way to the terrace.

He started walking behind and that’s when you took in the fact that he was slightly taller than you. This man hasn’t even done much and you were already feeling weak.

He didn’t want to hold your hand or your lower back on your way out. But he was dying to do so. I shouldn’t push it so soon, I don’t even know her name yet.

“So tell me, why did your friends had to drag you here?” You leaned against a railing and turned to face him again.

You made yourself take your eyes away from him right away, you literally couldn’t stop appreciating his features. How his little hair strands adorned his face, the way his earrings gave him an attitude that didn’t match with his endearing aura, his velvety pink lips begging you to lock eyes with them.

He’s not pretty, not handsome but a third grand thing that had you scared to fall in love at the end of the night. In all seriousness he IS pretty AND handsome AND hot.

Thankfully he was too busy figuring out what to say to you that he didn’t noticed the way you were staring so hard at him.

“Care to tell me your name first?” He wondered. He was dying to put a name to the attractive person in front of him.

You told him and asked him the same question. “nice to meet you y/n, i’m Yoongi.” He offered you his hand and when you took it, it felt like electric charges flowed from your hands to your whole body. You took your time shaking hands, both of you maintaining eye contact for what felt like the longest time.

The night went on and your conversation went through a lot of subjects. From the reason he doesn’t like going out that much and the reason he didn’t get to meet the extra outgoing version of you tonight; to the immense love you both have for your friends, your pets, what you do for a living and lastly, how you both really like to drink.

Yoongi’s quiet confidence and the way he listened to you with such attentiveness made you feel incredibly comfortable. You couldn't help but be charmed by his dry wit and his ability to make you laugh.

“I’m having a hard time believing you drink that much.” A teasing tone in his voice, his expression also reflecting it.

The smirk you gave him was sinful. “What can I say? I’ve developed some tolerance through my years.”

“Well, I’ll be the judge of that” a smirk on his face, perfectly mirroring yours. “Let’s go inside, I think it’s time for a drink.”

You smiled and followed him, once inside he opened a path in the crowd, it’s the first time you noticed how commanding his presence could be, just so the two of you could pass through and reach the bar counter. He held your hands really tight almost afraid you could escape from him. You noticed his hands were rough.

Once you got out the crowd, he came close to talk in your ear and said he needed to check something. You got surprised to the sound of his voice, to hear it that close for the first time. It was actually way sweeter and deeper than what you made it out to be. Maybe it was the intimacy of having him this close. If he wanted to stir something within you, he succeeded.

“You know what? I’m really… thirsty” you said.

You noticed that his hand was still holding yours when he shifted his hand position to tangle his fingers with yours and walk by your side towards the bar.

He looked very pleased to see you drinking from your glass like you had been in the desert for days. A trickle of alcohol escaped from your lips as you drank, you felt it running down your throat finding its fate on your chest. And as the alcohol trickled down your throat, Yoongi's gaze intensified, his eyes fixed on the path the liquid took. A subtle smirk played on his lips, indicating the desire building within him. The electric tension between you both seemed palpable as if the air crackled with anticipation.

Yoongi leaned in closer, his voice husky and laced with a newfound boldness. "Thirsty, huh? I can't blame you," he murmured, his breath teasingly brushing against your ear. The words sent a shiver down your spine, and a flush of warmth spread through your body.

Yoongi couldn't help but find it incredibly attractive. The way you didn't hold back, indulging in your drink with such pleasure and abandon. He had always been drawn to people who embraced their desires, and you were no exception.

The chemistry between you was undeniable, and Yoongi couldn't help but feel a sense of excitement and anticipation building within him.

The alcohol kept flowing, inhibitions started to fade away and the sexual tension between you became more palpable. There were moments when your eyes would lock, sparks igniting in the air and creating an electric charge that neither of you could resist. The way he bit his lip, the way you ran your fingers through your hair, it was all driving each other crazy with desire.

It seemed like he wasn’t going to stop teasing you anytime soon.

Yoongi leaned in closer, his lips dangerously close to your ear as he whispered, "I can't stop thinking about what it would be like to kiss you." His voice was husky, sending shivers down your spine as you glanced up at him, the desire evident in your eyes. You didn't even trust yourself to respond with words.

Feeling emboldened by his proximity and the shared chemistry, you leaned in, your voice carrying a hint of playfulness. "Well, what do you suggest we do about it?" The challenge was clear in your voice, your eyes gleaming with mischief.

A mischievous glint sparkled in Yoongi's eyes as he gently released your hand, reaching over to rest his fingers lightly on your waist. The touch sent a surge of electricity through you, and you could feel the heat radiating between you. "Let's just make sure that I won’t lose my chance," he replied, his voice dripping with suggestion.

Together, you made your way to the bar once more, but the intention behind the act was far from simply ordering another drink. The drinks became mere props in this intoxicating game of seduction, as you both relished in the thrill of the escalating connection.

As the bartender prepared your drinks, Yoongi's gaze never wavered from you. The air hummed with anticipation, and the noise of the club faded into the background. It was as if the two of you existed in your own world, one charged with desire and the promise of an unforgettable night.

The bartender handed you the glasses, their coolness a stark contrast to the heat building between you. You raised your glass to your lips, but before you could take a sip, Yoongi's hand gently wrapped around your wrist, his touch sending an electric jolt through your veins.

"Wait," he whispered, his eyes locked on yours. "I have a better idea." With a subtle nod, he guided you away from the bar and led you to a secluded corner of the club, where the pulsating music became a distant hum.

A flicker of anticipation danced in your eyes as you wondered what he had in mind. Without a word, Yoongi stepped closer, his body mere inches away from yours. The proximity between you was intoxicating, and you could feel the heat radiating from his body.

Slowly, Yoongi raised his hand to your cheek, his touch feather-light yet full of intent. His thumb gently brushed across your lower lip, igniting a fire within you. The intensity of his gaze deepened, and you could sense his desire mirrored in your own eyes.

In that moment, the world around you ceased to exist as you became lost in the magnetic pull between you. The anticipation reached its peak, and the only sound that remained was the rapid beat of your hearts, synchronized in a rhythm that spoke of an undeniable connection.

Without hesitation, Yoongi closed the remaining distance, his lips meeting yours in a searing kiss. It was a meeting of fire and passion, a culmination of the desire that had been building since the moment you locked eyes. In that stolen moment, the club faded away, leaving only the two of you entwined in a dance of unspoken promises.

As the kiss deepened, time seemed to stand still. The taste of alcohol mixed with the sweetness of anticipation, heightening every sensation. In that stolen embrace, you knew that this encounter was not just a chance meeting.

And so, lost in each other's touch and the intoxicating allure of the night, you surrendered to the undeniable chemistry that brought you together.

Your lips met in a collision of desire and anticipation, a delicious melding of heat and longing. Yoongi's kiss was electrifying, his lips firm yet tender against yours. There was a hunger in the way he moved his mouth, a hunger that matched your own.

His hand gently cradled the back of your head, his fingers tangling in your hair. The sensation sent shivers down your spine, intensifying the intimacy of the moment. His touch was a delicate balance of passion and restraint, as if he wanted to savor every second.

You responded eagerly, your own hands finding their way to Yoongi's shoulders, feeling the strong contours beneath his shirt. Your fingers traced the fabric, reveling in the sensation of his body pressed against yours.

The world around you seemed to fade away as the kiss continued, the pulsating music and chatter of the club becoming a distant echo. All that mattered in that moment was the intoxicating connection between you, the unspoken language of desire expressed through the meeting of lips.

The taste of him was exquisite, a blend of warmth and subtle sweetness. Your mouths moved together in a rhythm that was both fervent and tender, exploring the depths of the connection that had ignited between you. Each brush and caress of your tongues only deepened the desire, igniting a fire that seemed to consume both of you.

As the kiss lingered, Yoongi's lips would occasionally trail along your jawline and down the curve of your neck, leaving a trail of soft, lingering kisses. Each touch set your skin ablaze, sending waves of pleasure coursing through your body.

Time seemed to stand still as the intensity of the moment grew, your bodies pressed close together, caught in that surge of passion. Every breath, every sigh, was shared between you, a testament to the intoxicating connection.

Eventually, the need for air became undeniable, and the kiss broke with a gentle reluctance. Both of you were left breathless, gazes locked and hearts racing, the world around you slowly coming back into focus. The chemistry between you remained palpable, the air charged with a newfound intimacy that promised more to come.

In that stolen kiss, something changed, setting the stage for a night filled with passion.

As you both caught your breath, the lingering heat of the kiss still tingling on your lips, Yoongi's eyes locked with yours. A soft smile played on his lips, revealing a mix of desire and genuine interest. The connection between you was undeniable, and he didn't want to let it slip away.

You realized that you had lost track of time. You looked around and saw that the club was starting to empty out. Your friends and Yoongi's friends eventually found the two of you, their laughter filling the air as they marveled at the unexpected connection that was happening before their eyes.

Introductions were made, and the air was filled with a mix of excitement. Yoongi seamlessly interacted with both groups, effortlessly blending into the conversation while never straying too far from your side. His hand found yours, offering a sense of comfort and intimacy amidst the group.

As everyone shared stories and laughter, the drinks continued to flow, each round fostering a feeling of newness.

The night had brought you all together.

Yoongi leaned in and whispered in your ear, "I have to admit, I wasn't looking forward to coming out tonight. But now I'm really glad I did."

As closing time approached, Yoongi turned to you, his voice carrying a mix of concern and genuine care. "Y/N, it's getting late. Let me drive you home, make sure you get there safe."

You felt a flutter in your stomach at the thought of spending more time with him, and you eagerly accepted his offer.

Together, you bid farewell to your friends and his, the excitement of the night lingering in the air. Yoongi's hand found its way to the small of your back as he guided you towards the exit, his touch grounding and reassuring.

The night air was cool as you stepped outside, finding yourselves in the quiet embrace of the street. Yoongi's car awaited nearby, a symbol of the transition from the pulsating energy of the club to a more intimate space shared between just the two of you.

As you waited for the valet to retrieve Yoongi's car, a sense of both anticipation and longing hung in the air. The connection between you had grown throughout the night, igniting a fire that couldn't be easily extinguished. Yoongi stood closely behind you, his left hand enveloping your waist, his presence both comforting and electrifying.

You could feel his breath hot against the nape of your neck, sending shivers down your spine. His voice, laced with desire and vulnerability, whispered into your ear, its warmth mingling with the cool night air. "Y/N, would it be too forward of me to invite you to my place? I'm not ready to let you go just yet."

His words sent a surge of desire coursing through your veins, stirring a yearning within you that matched his own. The raw honesty in his voice spoke volumes, revealing the depth of his attraction between you. You found yourself captivated by his audacity, his willingness to lay his desires bare.

As you turned to meet Yoongi's gaze, the intensity in his eyes mirrored your own. The vulnerability and desire mingled within them, baring his soul before you. It was as if he had thrown caution to the wind, offering you an unfiltered glimpse into his most authentic self.

The valet's footsteps echoed in the distance, a reminder of the impending end to this chapter of the night. Time seemed to slow, the world fading into the background as you contemplated his offer. The moment felt stuffed, as if the universe held its breath in anticipation of your response.

You felt Yoongi's hand securely wrapped around your waist, his breath teasing your ear, and his bold question hung in the air, leaving your heart racing. There was a magnetic pull between you, a connection that demanded to be explored further. At that moment, you decided to follow his path, allowing yourself to be swept away by the intoxicating energy of the man you met tonight.

A thrill coursed through your veins as you turned to face Yoongi, a glimmer of anticipation dancing in your eyes. A smile played on your lips, mirroring the desire that burned within you. "Yoongi," you whispered, your voice filled with a mixture of confidence and longing. "You can’t imagine how much I’d love that."

As the words left your lips, a spark ignited in Yoongi's eyes, a fire that mirrored your own. The world around you seemed to fade into the background as the promise of the night took hold. With a silent understanding, he tightened his grip around your waist, his touch conveying a mixture of possessiveness and tenderness.

Together, you made your way to his car, the anticipation building with each step. The drive to his place was filled with a comfortable silence that enveloped you, punctuated only by the soft hum of the engine, and unspoken desire. The journey was filled with stolen glances, small touches, and a growing sense of what lay ahead of both of you.

As you entered his home, a mixture of nerves and excitement danced within you. The atmosphere was filled with a potent blend of familiarity and newness, as if you were stepping into a realm where time held no sway. The soft lighting cast a warm glow across the room, creating an ambiance that invited intimacy.

In that private sanctuary, you allowed yourselves to get lost in each other, exploring the depths of your desires and unraveling the layers that had drawn you together. The night became a symphony of whispered words, stolen kisses, and passionate embraces. The room was consumed with the sound of soft moans and the sensation of wandering hands exploring each other's bodies.

Yoongi's touch ignited a fire within you, his hands exploring the contours of your body with a reverence that left you breathless. With each caress, each shared moment of intimacy, you discovered new dimensions of pleasure and connection that fueled your desires.

As the dawn painted the sky with hues of pink and gold, you lay entwined, the gentle rise and fall of your breaths synchronizing. You woke up with a smile on your face, replaying the events of the previous night in your head. You couldn't explain how easily you had connected with Yoongi.

Yoongi woke up shortly after and he couldn’t believe it either. Still in bed with the only person that had made him pour out his raw feelings.

It was too much to be the first thing to think about in the morning.

No longer able to contain his longing, leaned in closer as he whispered, "Would you mind giving me your number?” His request lingered in the air, waiting for your response.

A playful spark lit up your eyes as you teasingly replied, "Why not? I think I could manage to see you again." You asked him for a pen and a Post-it, —giving it some kind of old-school feeling—, you jotted down your number next to a doodle of a winky face before handing it to him. The exchange felt like a secret pact, a promise of more adventures yet to come.

“You know, to continue where we left off." A spark of enthusiasm in your eyes.

A smile tugged at your lips as you locked eyes with him. "I'm looking forward to it," he replied, his voice filled with a mixture of eagerness and intrigue.

#bts #yoongi #suga #min yoongi #bts yoongi #bts suga #bts scenarios #bts imagines #bts fic #bts fluff #yoongi x y/n #yoongi x reader #yoongi imagine #bts members #bts fanfic #suga x reader #suga x y/n #suga x you #yoongi x you

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syuga-s · 9 months

Text

cool with you

w.c 1.5 k pairing. idol!Hyungwon x gn!reader genre. fluff and my delusions a/n. i don't know what went over my head when I made this, it's just that I dreamt with this man and this particular scenario. it may have been bc I slept with his and Shownu's new album... anyways it's just v cutesy stuff. have a kiss on the forehead.

You find yourself attending an event, full of the idols of the moment, including Monsta X’s Hyungwon, with whom you share more than a close bond.

The venue exuded an enchanting aura, its brilliance enhanced by the soft glow of countless chandeliers casting radiant reflections on the polished marble floors and red carpets. Laughter and melodious chatter filled the air as all the guests mingled, savoring the opulent party. You found solace in the familiar faces of all the friends you had in the industry, all of you reminiscing about the times when you used to hang out more often.

As the night unfolded you kept orbiting to Hyungwon’s side. Engaged in lively banter and laughter, he showcased his innate charm, captivating everyone around him. However, the world seemed to conspire, presenting several ephemeral moments of shared glances between the two of you. Some sort of a teasing glint in his eyes and on your smile.

Glancing at Hyungwon, you couldn’t help but marvel at the elegance of his attire – an impeccable suit that accentuated his tall, lean frame. With a gentle smile, you playfully addressed the slightly wonky collar of his shirt, unexpectedly seized by the urge to correct it. Hyungwon acquiesced with a good-natured grin, yet his eyes held a glimmer of something deeper as if words unspoken were at play. As your fingers delicately brushed against the nape of his neck while adjusting the collar, a tremor of electric energy passed through you, leaving in its wake a trail of warmth and a tacit acknowledgment of the game you were starting to play.

You couldn’t help but notice how he smelled, a mix of his cologne and something uniquely him. Your heart pounded in your chest, and you wondered if he could hear it.

“Thanks,” Hyungwon murmured, his voice velvety and low. The warmth of his breath caressed your cheek, sending a wave of goosebumps across your skin.

With the collar now straightened, your gaze instinctively shifted to his bangs, playfully falling into his eyes. Your heart swelled with affection as you gently lifted your hand to sweep the strands away. The intimacy of the moment felt both nerve-wracking and exhilarating.

His eyes locked onto yours, and time seemed to slow. You could see something deeper in those captivating eyes.

You diverted the attention to mention how Hyungwon’s bangs seem a bit flat, and you can’t help but playfully tease him about it. With a smile, you suggest, “Hyungwon, I can't keep your bangs in place, how about we find a bathroom real quick?”

Hyungwon chuckles at your playful suggestion and agrees to accompany you to the restroom. Once there, your hand extended to sweep the strands aside, revealing the profound orbs beneath. The tempo of your heart synchronized with his own, each moment marked by palpable tension. In that brief moment, the world’s cacophony seemed to dissipate, leaving nothing but the soft hush of your breaths intermingling in the air.

Hyungwon’s unwavering gaze remained locked with yours, reflecting an intensity mirroring your own inner tempest. A subtle smile graced his lips, a tacit acknowledgment of emotions unmasked. The space between you exuded an ethereal aura, thick with unspoken desires and the uncharted territories of the heart.

As you stood together in the restroom, a spark of playful affection still lingering between you, you couldn't resist the magnetic pull drawing you closer to him. With a gentle smile, you leaned in, pressing a quick kiss on his lips, a reminder that you wouldn't be able to be on your best behavior tonight.

Hyungwon's eyes widened in surprise for a moment before a soft, genuine smile spread across his face. "I like the way you think," he teased, his voice a delightful blend of amusement and adoration.

Your cheeks flushed, and you playfully smirked "Just making sure your bangs look perfect for the rest of the night," you quipped, trying to hide the desire that was blossoming in you.

He chuckled, pulling you into a warm embrace. "Well, if you're in charge of that, I have no complaints," he said, his arms enveloping you in a sense of comfort and love.

With the world’s symphony subdued to a calm melody, your voices lowered to a tender murmur, spoken words meant solely for each other’s ears. “You’re really something, you know,” Hyungwon whispered, his voice tender and resonant, each syllable bearing a profound weight. With a soft, affectionate squeeze of your hand, Hyungwon drew you closer, "Shall we continue this later, my love?" he whispered, his voice a soft caress that sent a rush of adoration through you.

You smiled back, feeling your heart flutter at the endearment. "Absolutely," you replied, your voice filled with love and excitement.

You walked back together to where the fun was taking place, hand in hand. where soft melodies swirled around you like a comforting embrace. The rest of the world blurred into a beautiful haze, and it was just you and Hyungwon once again, but you both knew you had to keep mingling throughout the night, so you gave him a reassuring smile that let him know you’d find him later.

The whole room hummed with enchantment, the soft glow of chandeliers casting a warm embrace over the elegant gathering. Amidst the music and laughter, you found yourself drawn to Hyungwon's gaze once more.

Hyungwon smiled lovingly, his eyes reflecting the joy he found in you. "Love you," he mouthed, it was like a gentle caress that sent a flutter straight to your heart.

Blushing slightly, you mouthed back, "Love you too" unable to hide the adoration in your eyes. He chuckled, a playful glint in his eyes.

It had been just enough time apart from you, and he couldn't resist the magnetic pull drawing him back to your side. With a determined stride, he walked over to you, his heart already feeling lighter in your presence.

“You’re behaving extraordinarily charming tonight” you stated to the man now in front of you.

"I'm charming because I need to win you over," he teased, “have you seen all the men in this place?” all while leaning in to press a soft kiss on your cheek.

A soft giggle escaped your lips. "Oh baby, have you seen yourself in a mirror lately?" you teased back, feeling the warmth of his affection enveloping you.

As you chatted, the world around you seemed to blur into a background of color and sound, and it felt like it was just the two of you in your own little universe. His laughter was music to your ears, and his smile brightened the room.

In a moment of serendipity, the song changed to a slow, romantic melody. Without hesitation, Hyungwon gently took your hand in his, his touch sending a rush of warmth through you. Your heart skipped a beat as you met his gaze, and in that shared look, a silent understanding passed between you.

"Do you want to dance?" he asked softly, his eyes never leaving yours.

Your heart swelled with love, and you nodded, feeling a sense of anticipation building within you. He led you to the center of the ballroom, his hand still firmly holding yours.

As you danced together, the world seemed to fade away. His arms wrapped around your waist, and your head found its place on his shoulder, feeling the steady beat of his heart against yours.

"I couldn’t imagine being here with anyone but you," you whispered, smiling as you held him closer.

He chuckled softly, his breath tickling your ear. "And I couldn't imagine being anywhere else but here with you.”

"You know," he began, his voice low and filled with affection, "I feel so lucky to have you like this." You gazed up at him, feeling your heart overflow with love.

As the song came to an end, he held you a little closer, his breath soft against your ear. "Come with me," he whispered, his voice a tender caress.

Together, you wandered away from the bustling room, finding solace in a grand staircase. The ambient glow of soft lights cast a gentle radiance, creating an intimate sanctuary where you both could relish in each other's company.

With your heartbeats echoing in harmony, you settled side by side on the stairs. The night breeze carried a subtle chill, but you found warmth in each other's presence. Your leg found a comfortable resting place over Hyungwon's, and his hand enveloped your thigh, creating a gentle embrace that spoke volumes without a single word exchanged.

Your left hand tenderly settled on his chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath your touch. It was as if time had stilled, and you allowed yourselves to simply be. Your presence felt like a soothing balm to his weary heart, an anchor amidst the whirlwind of fame.

Your right hand, guided by an innocent and affectionate impulse, rested gently on his back, offering comforting caresses. There was no need for words – the language of touch and the glances you shared spoke of a connection that ran deeper than what any combination of letters could convey.

The two of you found solace in each other's presence. You felt cherished, seen, and wholly accepted, as if the universe had conspired to bring your hearts together. The world outside seemed distant, as if it was just the two of you, lost in the beauty of the moment.

Time seemed to lose its meaning as you wrapped in each other's warmth. As you sat together on those stairs, the world seemed to fall away, leaving only the two of you, lost in the quiet symphony of your love.

#monsta x #monsta x fanfic #monsta x fluff #hyungwon #chae hyungwon #monsta x hyungwon #monsta x imagines #monsta x drabbles #monsta x oneshot #hyungwon x reader #hyungwon x y/n #kpop drabbles #kpop imagines

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syuga-s · 2 years

Text

feelings are a fickle thing

w.c 15.2 k pairing. Jungkook x gn!reader, Yoongi x gn!reader genre. PURE ANGST bc I'm f*cking insane, suggestive themes, ANGST! a/n. MDNI!!!!! I throw some curses here and there, mention of the word “sex”. this is not inspired by Jungkook or Yoongi whatsoever, they're just my in my brain 24/7 and thought they'd fit well in here. Jaehyun and Yugyeom cameo!! I truly apologize bc this is not a nice story, it's full of immature (wounded) ppl that don't understand themselves, there are no ill intentions but it's just very messy.

Ever since you took Jungkook with you to Olivia’s birthday, all of your best friends haven’t stopped asking about him.

You met Jungkook in college. You hadn't come across him until your spring semester, but you officially became friends when you were sophomores. (around the time he started taking the same classes as you). Soon you became close friends and every free period was spent together.

Classes were over for the day? Time to go get some drinks with Jungkook. You didn’t eat breakfast today? Jungkook would take you to the nearest café just so you could grab something. You had time to kill until you had to go to your extracurriculars? No matter how many hours, Jungkook would stay just talking with you.

It’s safe to say you did everything with him. There were even times when instead of going out with your best friends, you would make plans together, just the two of you. You just fit together with him so well.

Of course, both of you had your own lives outside your friendship. It never crossed your mind why you would never talk about if you were dating or something. But you felt it would be better not to pry into his love life; simply because you didn’t want him to ask you about yours either. It was like some unspoken agreement. You made sure not to talk about the drama outside your friendship under no circumstances, it was better for both.

Keeping everything fun.

Two years into your friendship, other people started questioning the nature of your relationship. Every classmate was so sure that he was in love with you or that you were in fact going out. For (both) your sake, you just ignored them. You refused to be awkward about the closeness you had built with Jungkook. Moreover, you wanted to avoid ruining your friendship for that matter.

But your feelings changed once you graduated.

In the blink of an eye, you got yourself an internship in another state and had to move. In just a few weeks, you were already more than 2,000 miles away, but you certainly didn’t stop talking to Jungkook. Naturally, every day you were apart, it made you miss him more. Your conversations remained uninterrupted, day after day. Both of you texted non-stop. And when you weren’t texting, it was because you were already on a call or face-timing. Not for a moment did you get tired of telling him about your day and every little detail about your mundane activities.

And it turned out to be the same for him. He was always excited to hear how was your day. Just by talking to him and hearing you say, “I’ve been dying to tell you this all day!” made his whole week.

You weren’t even going to stay there permanently. He knew you were going to come back in a few months, still, he felt like part of him was gone for good.

Around three months had passed, and he needed to see you asap. One day, you told him you were craving one of the rum and cokes he used to sneak in when you were in college. And that was it, the perfect excuse for him to make a quick trip to see you for the weekend. The fact that you were like 40 hours away didn’t stop him whatsoever.

After that, you realized how good he was at surprises. You had absolutely no clue that he would fly to you. He had your schedule memorized, so he knew you wouldn’t be busy once he arrived. And well, he had actually asked you in the past days what were you going to do on the weekend, just to be extra sure.

”nothing really, you know I still feel like an outsider around my coworkers lmao, I’ll probably have a few drinks while I watch a movie”, “why do u ask?”

“I wanted to face-time you, we can drink together then 👍”

Just like that, his plan had been accepted, authorized, ratified and ready to be implemented. He could only hope for you to be happy to see him after all these months.

His flight would depart Friday at 5 a.m. and he asked Jaehyun and Yugyeom a few days ago if they could give him a ride to the airport. He asked them to stay at his place the day before, and they didn’t waste any chance on teasing him once they arrived at his apartment.

“The lengths you go for love, couldn’t be me”

“Dude, at least tell me you’re already together or something”

“I can’t believe you’re traveling that far, man”

“They’re my friend, I want to see them”

“Yeah, your friend without benefits.” The silence after that lasted for a few minutes, and there was a smug smile plastered all over Yugyeom’s face. It screamed that he was pleased with himself and his remark.

Jungkook was confident about what he was doing. The only thing in his head was that he wanted to see you. It didn’t have to mean something else. He didn’t have any other intentions. He just wanted to be with you, like when you were back in college. You had been part of his life for almost 4 years, and now he had the chance to go see you, so why wouldn’t he do it?

He kept speaking with his two friends about his plan and aside from their bantering, they were actually happy for him. They didn’t mention it in front of him, but they could physically see he felt different about you. Jaehyun admired everything he had done for him to drop everything for a few days just to spend them with someone whom he had yet to admit he had feelings for.

Yugyeom didn’t buy either that you were just friends, but he was supporting Jungkook nonetheless.

It was time to get some sleep, and he couldn’t close his eyes. He started getting nervous about how would he spend the weekend with you? That was the only thing he didn’t think through. His head was running in circles. Already 3 a.m. and he didn’t get any rest whatsoever. As he was showering, he had an epiphany. How could he not think about it sooner? He was determined on taking you to all the touristy places you wanted to go but haven’t been able to since you moved. Consciously or unconsciously, he just wanted to see you happy around him.

The drive to the airport was silent. While Jaehyun was focused on driving, Yugyeom was fighting to stay up and Jungkook’s mind was everywhere and nowhere at the same time. The car smelled like coffee, and Yugyeom couldn’t remember the last time he was up before it was dawn.

“Thanks for driving me guys, I owe you” Jungkook squeezed their shoulders while he was filled with anxiety. ”Yeah, no problem man, how are you feeling?” Jaehyun asked and eyed him through the rearview mirror. Catching on how he was fidgeting with his phone.

“Didn’t get to sleep, so kind of worried but excited, you know?”

“Man, you should ask for one of those sleep masks at the plane”, Yugyeom chimed in, “you'll have the best sleep ever, I swear.“

“What makes you think I haven't slept on a plane before?”

And he actually did sleep. Twice. The only flight he could find on such short notice had a layover, he didn't have to wait much, so he didn't mind it at all. He fell asleep once again on the second flight and woke up more excited than ever.

He really was dying to see you, and suddenly felt like it had been years since he had you in front of him.

As soon as he got out of the airport, he searched for the nearest store to buy what you had mentioned to him. The rum and coke that sparked his trip.

Now it was time to call you. He didn't want to lose any more time and simply tapped on your contact.

Nothing felt off to you. Jungkook had already told you he would be calling today. It was a bit earlier than you had expected, you were just arriving at your place, and you hadn't even got the chance to get out of your clothes. Still, of course, you answered him at the second ring.

“hello? who is this?” you asked before he could speak.

Him, quickly catching onto you, “hello this is your Uber speaking, I'm currently outside.”

You were bad at this, you couldn't continue joking with him even if your life depended on it. All you ever did was laugh as soon as any word came out of his mouth. Just like you did now.

“I thought you were gonna call later, and that it was going to be on FaceTime if I recall?” You asked while you put your phone on speaker. Soon, you started undressing to get out of your work clothes.

“Yeah about that…” he sounded unsure on how to continue his words and after a loud sigh, he simply uttered, “I just flew 8 hours to come see you.”

Huh?

His words left you standing in your underwear, asking yourself if you heard him right. Your heart didn't even know if it should get excited or scared.

Jungkook called your name. A good minute had passed without a sound being heard from your side of the line. He laughed and added, “I’d really like to say that I am outside right now, so I need you to text me your address, alright?”

You were still confused, but finally blurted an “okay”.

You heard his laugh again. He was endeared by the way you were acting, your little to no words were making his heart skip a beat.

For you, hearing him laugh like that at you, made your cheeks turn pink. And when he told you “I’ll see you in a few minutes then, and calm down it's just me”, it made you mentally slap yourself, he wasn't meant to notice how he caught you off guard.

“Text me when you're here” was how you ended the call and proceeded to send him your address.

Well, how are you not going to be caught off guard when he says he's at the same geographic point as you???? When just a few hours ago he was at your hometown or so you thought?? When even a few minutes ago, you still believed he was just calling you? BUT NOW HE’S ON HIS WAY TO YOUR PLACE?? AND YOU’RE GOING TO SEE HIS FACE AFTER WHAT FEELS LIKE YEARS?

You were still in your underwear with all these thoughts running through your mind. You had no business blowing this out of proportion. Jungkook was right, it was just him.

And it hasn't been years, easily it's been a little bit more than three months. Three months that you haven't seen the person you’ve liked for over a year, but that you recently came to terms with. Nothing more.

You pulled yourself together and quickly dressed up. You also managed to clean your place up a bit, already assuming that Jungkook would stay. More like wanting him to stay with you.

His text came too soon, you were still mentally preparing yourself to see him when you were replying that you were coming downstairs to get him.

Once he got his eyes on you, he proved to himself how much he had missed you. In his eyes, you looked even better than before. Like an even freer version of yourself. Living on your own and doing your own thing suited you so well, and he felt something swell up in his chest.

You wore a beaming smile on your face, one that was just for him. You could swear he got even taller. His hair was definitely longer, and it was a look that had you daydreaming about running your hands through it.

There was just fondness behind the eyes of both of you. And both were terribly awkward about it. One couldn't even tell you were friends from the way you were acting around each other.

Both managed to giggle a bit. Jungkook’s coolness, absolutely gone the moment he put a step into your personal space. But now you were positive you could be excited, having him next to you made your soul know that something had come back into place.

You walked back to your apartment, your heart frantically beating and your head unable to imagine how you came into this exact situation.

Jungkook started to feel a little nervous around you, not necessarily a bad feeling, but his body kind of forgot how it felt to be with you. He just liked you too much to ever admit it to someone else, let alone admit it to his own heart.

You let him into your place and asked him to get comfortable, it didn’t leave your mind when he said he flew 8 hours to get here. You went to get him a glass of water, while he left his backpack in some corner of your living room. Then he placed a brown paper bag on your coffee table before he sat on your couch.

To you, the situation felt like it came straight out of your dreams. To be fair, this was one of the most romantic things someone has done for you. You started zoning out in the kitchen for a bit, soon to be brought back to earth when you heard Jungkook’s tired sigh.

You came back to the image of him pushing his hair back while his eyes were closed, and you almost tripped on the carpet. When he heard you back, he sat straight again and reached for the glass that was in your hand. “Thought you were going to bring out the good stuff.”

You chuckled at that and sat on the armchair next to him. “Kookie, I really don’t mean to sound rude, but what made you come here?” You said with an airy laugh, trying not to lose your smile to make him answer you. He left his water on the coffee table next to the bag, which you hadn’t noticed until now.

He had a smug expression on his face and signaled you with his eyes to grab said bag. It certainly had your curiosity, so you got up to see the contents of what he had brought. You still had your smile on you, which quickly broke into a laugh as soon as you saw what it was. You playfully hit his leg, and his face seemed pleased about your reaction.

“What?! You said that you wanted one!”

“Well yeah, but I didn’t think you’d come all this way for that!”, “i’m glad you’re here though, I was really looking forward to drinking with you tonight.”

Jungkook thought it was great that you didn’t put much thought into what he did. Because he clearly hadn’t come here just to bring you something you could have bought yourself. It even made him feel at ease that you could spend some time as friends. Restating that there were no other intentions for him besides seeing you.

The night went by fast, he made you the drink you had been longing for the past week, and then you switched to the beers you had in your fridge. All those hours were spent talking and talking. One would think that you had already told him everything about your life here, but you didn’t even know how there were more and more things to talk about. Ultimately, you ended up gossiping about both of your friend groups. Both of you only knew them by name, so it was all on good intentions. This was thanks to the alcohol you had just downed and the fact that you were in your little bubble, far away from everyone you knew.

And basically, that’s how you spent the whole weekend with him. Never-ending talks while you visited all the spots filled with tourists. Every meal, snack, and drink was shared with Jungkook. As if time had brought you back a few years ago. But it had this different feel to it. Something that you couldn’t accurately pinpoint.

Could it be the fact that you were older now? Or that you didn’t want to let him go after spending the past days together? Maybe you didn’t want to hide your feelings for him any longer.

You knew he eventually had to go. But Sunday came much too fast for your liking. And Jungkook was also upset. Upset that he had to go back to his reality far away from you.

You hugged him for the first time in three days. Somehow, both didn’t realize that there had been no physical contact between you until now. And he hugged you back. His discontent about leaving, melting away in your arms. A moment where just the two of you existed. You softly said to him, “thank you for coming all your way here, I never imagined you would do this.”

He stayed silent and preferred to keep holding you, he was afraid he would end up doing something else if he looked at you in the eye.

“I’d like for you to come back again sometime, but I’ll be back home before you know it.” You broke the hug at that and gave him a feeble smile.

“You promise?” he raised his brow and put his hands in his pockets.

You rolled your eyes at him and assured him that you would return soon. You said your goodbyes and urged him to leave before his plane took off. “Please text me when you land home, Kookie.”

Jungkook ended up way more confused about his feelings when he returned home. He still thought about you all day, just like he did before he went to see you. But now it felt borderline obsessive. You consumed his every thought, and he started thinking that he couldn’t handle it.

How did you end up not talking with him anymore?

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Back to first semester at college, that’s when he met Mai.

They were such good friends for years that not even Jaehyun nor Yugyeom, and most definitely not you, noticed that they had been friends with benefits since you were all first years.

Mai has always been sweet. Almost overwhelmingly full of energy. You were aware she and Jungkook knew each other, but never did they make it seem that they were more than friends.

You had the chance to meet her when you shared some marketing classes once. And one day, you ended partnering up for a final project, who would’ve thought that she’d become one of your closest friends since then.

You loved talking to her. It was one of those really good friendships where you feel like you’ve known each other for years. You hadn’t been able to form a relationship like this with someone else from college, so you made sure you talked every minute you had together.

One day, after your classes had ended, both decided to go for some coffee.

That afternoon, she told you all about her past relationships, and you did the same. You understood each other so well as if you had been living the same life, but there was this particular story about someone from campus. Someone whom she referred to as her ‘fuckboy’.

She never wanted to tell you their name because she said that you knew them. And to be completely honest, you weren’t dying to know who this ‘mysterious fuckboy’ was. Your mind was somewhere else in that period of your life.

Once you were gone for your internship, all your friends from college kind of drifted away, except for Jungkook, obviously.

But for him, it was different. At least it had been different with Mai. She was still there for him. She’d always been openly in love with him.

So, their thing never ended. Not even when he just came back from seeing you. He still kept looking for her. Called her every other night when he was longing for someone he couldn’t have. In his mind, a relationship with you wasn’t something that could happen. He wasn’t in love with Mai, but she was all he had.

He was so sure that he could never have you, even though you’ve never done anything for him to think that way. His brain couldn’t amount to believe that he could be in a relationship with his perfect friend, so he had settled with having you as that. His best friend, who knew almost everything about him. Everything, but the fact that he liked you a little too much.

To him, that was the only way he could have you in his life.

Even after the remaining six months of your internship, you still felt the same way about Jungkook.

You wanted to feel excited about coming back and seeing him again, but ever since he visited you, you felt him switch. He started keeping many things to himself. His replies came hours later. He was no longer asking you about your day. He just felt off. And for your well-being, you wanted to assume he was having a rough time at work.

When you were finally back in town, Olivia and Van went to pick you up at the airport. Days ahead, you had planned a little get-together at a restaurant with your friends, just so you could quickly catch up with them. You had missed being with the people you loved. And as one would expect, Jungkook was one of those people.

When you let him know about your plan, he bluntly replied, “Sure, I’ll be there.”

Aside from those three, you invited a few more friends, one of them being Mai, too of course. To your surprise, she was the first one who arrived at the restaurant, and she gave you one of the most effusive and affectionate welcomes you could have expected from someone.

It made you happy to see her again after graduating, you didn’t talk much all these months, but the friendship was still there, and you loved that. You introduced her to Olivia and Van for the first time, and all of you started chatting about your return.

After a while, Mai and you turned to talk to each other, while Van and Olivia talked about who knows what.

Minutes were still passing and there was no sign of Jungkook, so, you excused yourself and went out of the restaurant to give him a call. No answer.

You let a few minutes pass and tapped his name again. This time he picked up.

“hey you” you gently greeted him. And just with that, you made him feel weak. Weak for you.

There was no way he could reply rudely to you. To someone who made him feel that way with just their voice.

“hey there stranger.” He said while pinching the bridge of his nose, feeling dumb for not knowing how to talk to you all of a sudden.

“By any chance, do you remember if you had something to do today?” you started telling him in a teasing tone.

He let the silence take over the call.

You were confused, and a little anxious that he was acting this way. Yet, you still tried to reassure him. “hey if you’re worried about meeting my friends, you don’t have to talk to them…”, “Mai is here too if that helps in some way!” Not even knowing if that was the case.

Your friends were never the problem. And of course, he knew, there was no way that he would forget that you were back. That you were finally on the same time zone as him. But he also knew that Mai was going to be there. She had asked him if he was going to show up. And he wasn’t sure that he wanted to do that. He felt somewhat guilty about it all.

Although, to the onlookers, which included you, Mai, literally everyone; there was nothing wrong with the situation.

He apologetically mumbled your name and replied, “It’s not that, but I don’t think I’ll be able to make it”, “I’m really sorry.”

Trying to find out why he wouldn’t go was pointless. You wanted to avoid interrogating him, so you simply accepted his words. You were sad, yes, but you thought that now that you were in town, it would be easier to plan something and go out with him any other time. “Don’t be silly Jungkookie, there’s nothing to be sorry about, we can go out another day!”

He chuckled at your attempt to sound bright, and he felt even worse. There was nothing that he wanted to do more but to see you. Yet, his head was battling with his poor heart.

“We can talk later, okay? Have fun with your friends, please.” And then he hung up.

You were dumbstruck at that, but made your way to enter the restaurant again.

Olivia was the only one that saw your face as you were walking to the table; and somehow she knew it was something that she couldn’t ask right at this moment. Her eyes remained on you, slightly worried about how you were feeling.

You didn’t want them asking what happened or who’d you talked to. There was no need to feel upset or down when you just wanted to enjoy being with your friends. You could perfectly mope a little when you got home.

Now, while your plates were empty and with more drinks on their way, all of you started talking again. This time, it was Mai’s turn to update you about her life. Everything started well, she told you her niece was born a few weeks ago. You stayed on the baby topic for a while, just for her to change it up to her new job. Nothing out of the ordinary. Then suddenly, she dropped a bomb. A landmine of some sort.

“god i’ve been dying to tell you this”, she paused, not knowing how to string together the piece of information. “okay so, you remember that I told you I had a ‘fuckboy’, right?”

You were even excited to hear about it. To you, it was just some juicy detail about her life. Idle talk. So, you nodded at her, your anticipation on an all-time high.

“i’m actually relieved he didn’t come because i was looking forward to talking to you about this!”

He? You didn’t invite many guys. The others weren’t here yet, and the only one that knew Mai was. Oh…

“ it’s Jungkook!!! there i said it” It came as a soft shout, and she immediately kept talking about everything that has happened with them lately.

There hasn’t been a time when you turned your eyes so fast to look at Olivia. Both of you shared a look that lasted a millisecond. You were able to tell her, “ARE YOU LISTENING WHAT I’M LISTENING?????” without uttering a single word.

It’s obvious to mention the fact that Olivia knew how you felt about Jungkook. Someone had to know about the little crush you had on your friend. She knew every thought that has ever crossed your mind about the ‘bond’ you had with Jungkook. So, to be hearing what your other friend was saying about the relationship she had with him, was a shock. Olivia couldn’t even begin to imagine what you must be thinking.

First, it felt like something shattered inside you. You’re not sure if you heard a glass breaking in the restaurant, or if it was just your heart. But there was no time to feel something else. You had to collect yourself because you couldn’t let Mai see you wearing your heart on your sleeve. You had to act like everything was alright and shifted your resentment into excitement. Putting on the act that you were surprised about this piece of information.

She ended up telling you that they were still seeing each other. Most importantly, that he was the one who always called her. Inviting her to stay the night every so often.

Suddenly, you got the whole picture. You came to realize that they’ve been together all along, even before you met him, and that they’ve had this thing going on for about 4 years AND still counting.

All you could think was, “We’re friends, being involved with Jungkook is not okay, at all.”

You were truly pissed, even though it wasn't your place nor your right, to get mad about this simply because, he can do whatever he wants.

You've never been in a relationship whatsoever, he didn't owe you anything, but you were still hurt.

What if you got everything wrong, and he just sees you as a really good friend? And now, how could you let anything happen between the two of you? How, when Mai told you all that’s happened between them?

Everything that happened after that conversation, was a blur.

You vaguely remember which ones of your other friends arrived, let alone at what time or what you spoke with them.

Thankfully, no one noticed your mind had you on autopilot in some way. But now you wanted to run away from there. It had been too much for you.

When all of your friends wanted to jump into another bar nearby, you apologized and gave them the first excuse that came to your mind.

”You should go!” — “i’m starting to get tired from the flight actually, i didn’t really sleep much last night because i was eager to get here so…” you stated with a soft laugh.

“Oh my god, you’re right! i forgot you came here straight from the airport!”

“Aaw babe, you should go home and get a really good sleep”

You took out your wallet to leave them part of the bill, but everyone stopped you and Van spoke, “it’s our treat, don’t even worry about it, we’re here to take care of everything for you, we missed you.”

All of them insisted, and even one of them chimed, “you’ll pay for all of us next time, so don’t think this will happen again.”

Everyone broke out in a laugh at that, and you gave up on trying to leave them money. After that, you got up to individually hug them while telling them goodbye.

You loved your friends, but honestly, this was taking too long. You tried to keep your words to a minimum, hoping they would catch on to your tired self. In the end, you raised your voice so all of them could hear that you were more than grateful that they came to see you and that you were feeling happy thanks to them. Which was partly true, but some things were occupying your head, thus making it hard for you to focus on the people you were supposed to be valuing the most.

Olivia, who was now next to you, whispered, “want me to take you home?”

And you shook your head. She brought her hand to your cheek and both wore a dim smile on your faces. Your best friend, understanding your need to be on your head for now. “i’ll be there in the morning then.” You closed your eyes and nodded at her, accepting her company, knowing you would need someone to talk with about what you found out tonight.

With that, you waved at your friends for the last time and got out of the restaurant.

You waited for a taxi for what seemed like forever. Everything and everyone, always taking too long, exactly when you need to get away from the world. Squeezing your eyes shut, you softly spoke, “please, i just want to get home.”

And the universe did listen. A woman pulled up right in front of you, and you felt relieved.

“Where to honey?” You gave her your address and she nodded once. “Got it.”

On the way home, as you looked out of the window, you started feeling numb. You let out a heavy sigh and your driver asks, “heading home hun?”

“yeah, it’s been a really long day” and you threw your head back on the seat. She noticed your voice was taut. She didn’t voice her concern, instead, she tried to comfort you, saying that you were just a few minutes away.

“Thank you so much”, as she was speeding a bit more, she answered with the same friendly smile she had when you hopped into the taxi.

Looking out the window once again, you started feeling at home. Your building now in front of you and the woman gently lets you know you had indeed arrived.

You paused your movements, your body no longer in sync with your impatience to enter your place. Managing a tight-lipped smile, you blinked yourself back to your surroundings. Finally, you took your wallet out and handed your god-sent driver the cash you owed her and made her keep the change at the premise of swiftly making you get home.

She looked at you through the mirror. “Thank you honey”, “and also i want to say, whatever’s making you heavy, just sleep on it and i’m sure you’ll know what to do in the morning.”

As you were gathering your bags and making your way out, she says, “take care, alright?”

“You too”, “thank you so much once again, i mean it, have a good night.”

The darkness of your place washes over you once you’re inside.

You left your bags and suitcase at the door and turned a lamp on your way to your bedroom. As you were walking, you made a mental note to thank your brother tomorrow for keeping your apartment this nice and clean. Something less on your list to worry about.

You finally got into the comfort of your room and felt that the only way to get on your bed was to throw yourself face down on it.

After a while, you turned to face the ceiling for a few minutes. You were tired, but there was no sign of you actually wanting to sleep. It was an emotional weariness. An exhaustion you did not know how to get rid of. But it surely would not go away with a nap.

You leaned back on your elbows, and suddenly the emptiness of your room made you feel strange. There were little to few clothes hanging in your closet. Your desk with no sign of you either.

You knew that you had taken most of your things with you when you left, and that you put away the rest of them.

But you didn’t consider that the lack of life in your room would make you feel worse. As if you didn’t exist.

“what the hell”

You knew you had to calm down. There was literally nothing you could do about Jungkook and Mai.

Talking to yourself was the only option now.

“I doubt that the right thing to do is act upon my feelings”, “i can’t be the person that dismisses the feelings of my friend just because i wanna act on mine.”

“And why am i getting ahead of myself? What if he’s not even remotely interested in me?”

You brought your hands to your face and groaned at your thoughts. It was way more uncomfortable hearing yourself say these things out loud than you thought.

“who knows, maybe something will happen in another life”, “if i’m lucky, later in this one.”

You were so annoyed, your eyes were still closed, and whined a small ‘i don’t know'.

“I don’t know if i should simply let go right now or try something. Maybe i’m not ready for a relationship despite how I feel, but when would be the right time? There’s no such thing as that. I can’t leave it in the hands of time, i know i should do something because if i don’t, i’m gonna regret it for years, so what’s stopping me?”

While contemplating your last question, you fell asleep.

The next day, you decided to stop talking to Jungkook altogether. there would be no action directed at him anymore. didn’t search for him again, so your chat abruptly died.

He didn’t look for you either after, so you were sure you did the right thing.

Months passed, and occasionally, you’d see Mai’s Instagram stories just to be hit with the fact that they were still going out?, not knowing if they were officially together was unnerving. it was the first time you wanted to know something so bad just to have some sense of peace of mind.

Olivia heard your complaints every time you saw they went out or were at his apartment. and especially when Mai would post pictures of him playing the guitar.

Once in a while you would see how you left your conversation and hate Jungkook’s existence a little, but then you’d get further up on your texts and see how he made you laugh and how constantly you told each other ‘i miss you’, ‘i want to see you’ and even the simple ‘love you’s’ within your goodbyes.

One day, you were at your desk, wrapping up something you had been working on, but you didn’t get up from the chair. The need to write a letter to Jungkook came over you, and you immediately tore off a blank page of your journal.

“I don’t know if you wonder why I stopped talking to you, but I feel like I’m ready to explain myself. Also, I want to start by saying that I’m genuinely sorry and this isn’t an excuse for ghosting you. I want you to know that when I distanced myself from you, it was because I thought that drifting away was my only choice. I was having a really hard time with my emotions and to be completely honest, the only way I know how to deal with my feelings is to disappear. It took me so long to overcome my anger towards you and how you made me feel. You’ve always been my friend, so when I finally accepted how I felt about you… I found out about so many things that got me confused and made me realize how messy everything was. I’ve never told anyone that I’m actually dying to talk to you because I don’t know anything about you anymore, I’ve been in the dark about your life for so long that I don’t know if you’d want me back in your life after what happened. Not only that, but I’ve never thought that acting on my feelings was the right thing to do because I can’t ignore what I know. I felt selfish and dumb for being unreasonably optimistic, I dare say even hopeful that something would happen between us. But after all, I want you to know that I’ve never stopped caring about you. You’re so important to me.”

You never sent it, of course. Yet, the act of writing what you had on your chest, helped you more than you thought. The idea of Jungkook and your emotional distress started to lose their depth after that. A rush of calmness washing over you for once.

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Today was one of your best friends' birthday, Gigi’s birthday.

There was nothing out of the ordinary going on for you this particular day. You got up, cooked something, did laundry for a bit, went to pick up the cake you bought for your friend, got back home and started cleaning the mess you’d left in the kitchen, wasted some time on your phone, and then you started getting ready.

If you had known you were gonna take this long to find an outfit, you would’ve started HOURS ago, but thanks to your poor time management, you were now running an hour late.

You hadn’t actually met Gigi’s friends before, so you struggled a bit with your awkwardness. Everyone at the table was already eating when you arrived, so you had to wait until another one of her friends got there to order something. You were relieved that you weren’t the last person to show up.

An hour later, your phone screen lighted up with a notification. Someone unknown was trying to send you a message through Instagram. You quickly dismissed it, thinking it was one of those spam accounts, but then the same person contacted you through Facebook too, so now you were curious and went ahead to reply.

You thought that, whoever sent them, didn’t really know you.

For starters, you don’t like flowers.

Second, why would they send them anonymously? It was fucking creepy, to say the least.

You felt it was a really shady because who actually knew your address well enough to send flowers? You were thankful that you weren’t home because you would’ve pissed yourself.

But on second thought, it had to be someone that you knew. Someone who has taken you home before, but who?

You can’t get out of your head that if they thought it would be this big-ass romantic gesture, it wasn’t.

Also, the note had you racking your brain, there was simply no context to it.

’Bouquet of flowers that goes well with a soul made of colors’

No one that you know has ever told you ‘your soul was made of colors’ before.

Gigi said, “Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that it isn’t true, you’re the light of my life, but, i really don’t understand? like, give me some context.” Your friend getting annoyed with a piece of paper.

There was just no way to recognize that verbiage. That incidentally sounded very cliché too.

You knew the flowers weren’t at fault, they were cute, but you couldn’t help but look at them with dislike?

You never thought of asking who sent them, you kept it to yourself in hope that, that someone, would reach out and ask, “did you get my flowers?”, but that text never came.

Not only that, but you wanted to believe they came from the one person you missed the most. But you wouldn’t even dare to mention his name every time one of your friends asked, “who do you think sent them?”

The following days, every time you would glance at the flowers while you were cleaning, you’d spend a good number of minutes just asking yourself the same questions over and over again.

One day, you even sat on the table looking at them with your chin on your hand, brows furrowed, not knowing who had sent this to you. It wouldn’t stop being a big question mark to you.

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Jungkook never reached out to you about the flowers. He had never done something like that for someone, so, he didn’t know what to do after they told him they had delivered them to you. When he thought about it, he was sure you’d know he was the one who bought them for you. He wanted you to know that he was sorry and that he was thinking about you still.

Sorry that everything turned out an absolute mess. But he didn’t want you to think about the negative side of it all. That’s why he came up with that poetic little line. Always in love with how you’d dye your hair different colors without a care in the world. To him, it was a reflection of your soul. Dying to be seen by everyone.

His mistake was that he never mentioned any of that to you. That’s why he never got a text from you. His hope for talking to you again, soon gone.

He wanted you back in his life. He felt miserable without seeing you. You two were in the same town, but if felt like you were miles away from him once again.

It was hurting him more than any other breakup he had experienced before. He saw how you just disappeared from his life. You were like a faint ghost, yet when you gave signs of life in your account, he saw how happy you seemed, just living life. Always with your friends and as pretty as ever.

He didn’t know what to do after he left things with Mai. He never told her why they couldn’t see each other anymore. She would rather not hear that he was in love with someone else. Because after all those years with him, she already knew that.

Mai would have wanted to ask him to stay with her at that moment. But she knew that she’d be prolonging his resistance. Conspiring with his discomfort. Jungkook has been already ‘gone’ for a year, at least. So, she preferred her words stay with her.

No matter how many years Mai had been expecting this talk, she never wanted to be ready for it. All she could muster up saying was, “let’s hope you don’t regret this.” All the hurt from her heart poured into those words.

Jungkook didn’t want to feel guilty anymore. He had the vague idea that you knew what was going on between them, but Mai didn’t know how he felt about you. And that made him decide he didn’t want to deprive you of the affection Mai felt towards you.

“I don’t think I will.”

He was tired of feeling like he’d handled everything in the worst way.

Jungkook felt lost and slightly confused. He wished he knew how to stop thinking about you. He felt like he was missing a piece of his soul. Definitely missing his peace of mind.

He remembered the last words you exchanged in that phone call and felt knots in his stomach. Wishing he had done something different. Hell, even said something different.

What have they done to me?

What have I done to myself?

There’s no point in wishing something else, it won’t change what had already happened.

Jungkook couldn’t deny anymore that he’d been feeling your absence in his core. Not quite sure what he’s supposed to do next, but, remembering your eyes and the way you smiled never failed to make him get annoyed at himself for having all these details about you, carved into his head. The notes of your voice and your laugh still playing in his head.

He promised himself then and there, that he’d try everything in him, to get you back.

He would stop denying the love he felt for you. Stop denying himself of being truly happy with the person who understood everything that he was. Only after messing up, he realized that he never should have run away before giving himself the chance to let you know how he truly felt.

A few weeks passed until he ended up building his courage to talk to you. Also pondering which way would be the best to reach you.

Just like that, all those months without talking to each other came to an end.

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It was February.

You woke up to get ready for work. Without opening your eyes, your hand reached to grab your phone and turn off the alarm. An eye open now, you scrolled through the multiple notifications from different apps. Next thing you knew, you had a text from someone. Someone you didn’t expect, at all.

Jungkook

“today is a perfect day to be happy”

That text, single-handedly, made you get out of bed.

What was the reason for that? You haven’t talked in months.

Why did he reach out to you today? On Friday? Out of all days?

You knew he was joking with what he said. It was something your mom would send. He always chose not to be serious, so it kind of made you laugh. Knowing he hasn’t changed after all.

That text, had you confused all day. Should I reply? Do I want to reply? What can I say to that?

You hadn’t been able to focus on your work all day. You were slower and kept spacing out a lot. Not one of your coworkers had seen you like this, they were even unsure if they should ask you what was going on. And thankfully so, they never asked because how would you explain that?

The friend I was in love with and mind you, I never knew that he was fucking with one of our friends for 4 years, just texted me this morning after us not talking for months.

Luckily, despite how you felt, the day went by fairly quick.

Once you were home, you decided to follow his game. You answered, “why”.

The conversation kept a casual note. You just talked about work and all you’ve been doing lately. Before you knew it, everything felt as if nothing had happened between you. As if the recent blank period hadn’t existed at all.

Valentine’s was coming up this week, and you had zero expectations for it. There was nothing for you to do. All your friends had plans with their partners, so that left you to spend the whole day eating and catching up on your dramas and anime.

You talked on the phone to Olivia the next day, her mostly wanting to talk to you about what she did with Kevin, her boyfriend. And for you to help her what to give as a gift for her upcoming anniversary. But she suddenly brought up Jungkook into the mix.

“what have you been talking about, then? it’s been like a week, right?”

Your laugh came up like you were nervous of talking about him. “mostly work, why?”

She laughed about your response and went straight to the point.

“he didn’t invite you to anything yesterday?” Apparently, it was a laughing fest because that made you chuckle once more.

Then you hummed, thinking about the best way to put yesterday’s situation. “i don’t know if i imagined it or if i wanted to believe that, but i thiiiiiink he was throwing hints about going out.”

“i played dumb though”, “also got me thinking that maybe something happened between him and Mai.”

Your friend couldn’t believe how dense you could get at times. But she didn’t say anything, she simply asked you, “something like what? like they fought or something?”

“not like that, but i don’t know, i’m just making up theories” your giggle coming out once again.

“i saw that she went out with another friend and JK kept telling me that he wanted to go out, but none of his friends wanted to haha.”

“mmmm, he definitely wanted to go out with you. maybe he was hoping you’d take pity on him and end up telling him ‘aw, we should go out then’, I’M SURE OF IT.”

“yea- about that, we kind of already have plans sometime in the next week, hah.”

You heard your friend mumbling something that sounded very much like an ‘oh my god’.

Then she laughed loudly into the speaker. “WHERE ARE YOU PLANNING TO GO, TELL ME EVERYTHING.”

Nervously, you started explaining how the conversation went. “mmmmm, i don’t know yet.”

“he just asked if i was busy next week and i said ‘not that i know of’ and he asked if i wanted to go out and i said yes and THAT’S IT.”

“mmmmm let’s see what happens”, “and listen i didn’t know if i should say it but i thought it was weird that he texted you after all this time, i know that technically you never stopped being friends but, you know, feels kinda sus BUT, who am i to know… just keep me posted about your plans.”

With that, your conversation about Jungkook ended, and you moved onto another subject.

Days were passing and Jungkook actively chose not to tell you where you were going nor at what time you’d see each other. All you knew was that it would be on Saturday.

He’s always been like this.

But that’s exactly what you liked about him. He was always spontaneous. Life felt different with him. Freer. Like nothing could tie you down. Always up to do something new without being scared of the ‘what if’s’.

The weekend came. And it’s been the most nervous you’ve ever been this year. But you could also say that you were excited.

Because it’s been a long time since you’ve seen him.

Your mind refused to think about what happened last year. The memories you had with him before all that, flooded your mind. And it somehow made you hopeful. Hopefully, maybe nothing has changed between you, and maybe, just maybe… you could carry on with how things were on that weekend you spent together.

All you could think about was how you felt back then. How happy you were when you saw him at the entrance of your building. How attracted you felt to him. How your heart jumped when you heard his voice in person once again.

You were hoping that, all that happened one more time, today.

When you finally arrived at the restaurant, he told you, he was already there waiting. His eyes were searching for you incessantly, that when they found you, the weight of the past few days, weeks, months was lifted off his shoulders.

It was the same thing all over again. Both of you were awkward enough to act like you’ve never met before. Afraid of giving each other a hug after all this time.

Once you were past that, you started talking like you always have. The same friends from 5 years ago. Sharing laughs over something one of your friends did. Telling the other how someone from work got you frustrated, complaining about it, like you were talking about homework or a school project.

He had seemed to be doing well at his work. He sounded happy talking about it. But the conversation eventually came back to talk about the dream he’s had since forever. Thrilled just by contemplating going some place far away and live off music on his own. Kind of lonely if someone asked you.

What you didn’t know is that he has never talked about that with anyone but you. He always felt comforted telling you about everything that was on his mind because you never questioned his feelings, you always supported him in what he thought he wanted.

While you talked, Jungkook started thinking deeply. How did someone like them came into my life?

In his mind, it was very present how he managed to lose you once. He wanted to imagine how you felt when you grew apart these months thanks to him. Had you been angry? Sad? Did you hate him?

But none of that mattered anymore. While looking at you, he didn’t see any trace of resentment or hatred. He knew how you were towards people you didn’t like, and he felt like he wasn’t part of them and felt relieved.

A few beers later and you still weren’t drunk. Nor tipsy.

Unconsciously, or possibly, ignoring on purpose that you were feeling a bit on edge with this situation.

It wasn’t that late, but a sudden shift in you made you want to leave. Jungkook hadn’t done anything wrong, but your gut was telling you something and your head didn’t want to ignore it despite not understanding.

“i have to head off now, Kook, it’s getting late for me.”

“ah, don’t say that, i was about to ask you if you wanted to come home and have some shots.”

Your stomach twisted at those words. Were you disgusted at that? Was it your nerves? They weren’t butterflies fluttering, for sure.

In the attempt to not turn things awkward, you pretended to be surprised and asked him what kind of shots.

“i think i just have tequila right now, haha”

You playfully looked at him with narrowed eyes as if you were considering going along with his plan, when in fact you just wanted to run from there.

A single glance to your phone and you declined his offer. “i really need to go now haha, i’d like to but maybe next week or something? what do you say?”

Jungkook naively smiled at that and nodded. “sure, we can do that, just tell me when you’re gonna be free.”

You got closer to him to give him a kiss on his cheek and part ways. While walking away, he half-shouted “tell me when you get home!” which you responded by waving at him.

On your way home, something felt off to you. And it was really hard to shake off that feeling. Everyone always says you need to trust your gut, your instincts, intuition, or whatever. But no one tells you how to navigate through those things, those emotions that seem to be overpowering your thoughts.

You didn’t know for sure what Jungkook’s plan entailed. Maybe you were getting ahead of yourself, already anticipating an outcome you didn’t like. Countless “what-ifs” flash through your mind, and every single one leads you to him trying to have sex with you.

For the second time tonight, you felt uneasy, your stomach twisting uncomfortably.

His words repeating in your head.

ask you if you wanted to come home and have some shots

Why weren’t you trusting him? It genuinely made you believe he wanted more. You were starting to feel a little disappointed in yourself for having those thoughts.

It’s always been the two of you. Many times you’ve spent time with him alone. But some lines were never crossed. Not even when he slept at your place a year ago.

Somehow, him taking you to his home, changed everything.

Were you going insane? After all, he’s a man, why else would he invite you back to his place so soon? And just to have a few drinks? You were sure his vibe was somewhere else, and the last thing you wanted was to complicate things after him coming back to your life.

Tonight you were able to realize that things change and nothing can come back and be how it was. You were excited, and you thought you would feel a million pretty things to be exact, but that wasn’t the case, maybe your expectations were a little too high.

Being able to experience this was definitely something, kind of eye-opening, so you could know that you have no control over love.

As you were thinking that, a text, from someone who refused to let go of you (it was mutual to be perfectly honest), lighted up your phone screen.

Yoongi.

He always appears at the worst best times. Just like that first night, when you decided to go out by yourself to a bar in a city where you didn’t know anybody, thanks to Jungkook messing with your feelings.

Your gazes found each other in the crowded room; the spark of attraction ignited. You talked, danced, laughed, shared a few drinks, a joke and, before you knew it, he said: "your place or mine?". Neither of you were looking for a serious relationship but somehow one night turned into a week, then a month and here we are, a year and a half later.

Things with Yoongi were easy. Your talks were funny and cute, you felt at ease around him, like you had known each other since forever.

But all he was, was your something. And both of you were perfectly good with that.

In one of your many nights together, you told him you lived in another state. “i figured.”

“it would be too much for this poor city if we could actually be together.”

You laughed and followed up his thought, “we could end up being a public menace with the way we’re always all over each other.”

You were curled up against him, and he was rubbing your arm.

“Do you already know when you’re leaving?”

You pursed your lips and told him, “mmm i still have like six more months.”

He seemed to think it over. But he already knew what he wanted to do before his words came out.

“Well, i don’t know about you, but i’m not letting you run away from me that easily”, he paused. “would you like if I went to see you once in a while?”

All you could do was smile. You wanted to toy with him or say something witty, but your head quickly decided to eagerly nod at Yoongi.

“Are you serious? You would do that?”

The look you had in your eyes made him giggle. “well, obviously, I’d rather not stop seeing the person whom I can’t seem to get my hands off.”

“Plus, i don’t want to forget how your tongue tastes in my mouth.”

“We can’t let that happen, right, baby?”

The hand, he had on your arm, had now moved onto your thigh. The air in his room no longer felt cold. And the way he called you baby, had you breathing embarrassingly heavier.

With his other hand, he grabbed the right side of your face and took his time inspecting it. He knew exactly what he was doing to you, and it just made him crave you more.

When he finally kissed you, you moaned. The tension he built up made you needy for him. Adding the fact that, just minutes ago, this man had told you he wanted to keep seeing you, the distance not fazing him at all.

“Did you just moan?”, “how are you so shameless?” He said while smirking. Clearly satisfied with your reaction.

You hid your face in his chest and mumbled, “it’s your fault, shut up.”

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Amazingly so, no one knew about that thing you had with Yoongi. He was your precious little secret and well, it was kinda hard to explain what you were doing. There was no reason to talk about him since you weren’t living in the same town.

It didn’t mean that he wasn’t part of your life though, he was actually very present in your day-to-day.

Even though you both were overwhelmed with work, you made time for each other almost every night, even if it was just an hour.

In this time apart, you actually got to know each other even more than you thought, and your head started thinking about him way more than before.

You already knew he was an audio engineer, but until now, he told you how much he enjoys being in concerts and festivals. That his job makes him travel a lot, but it’s not as fun as you would think.

After finding out you had similar taste in music and that you loved being in that environment, he started inviting you to countless concerts. Concert invites turned to visits to your hometown, and those visits turned to promises of traveling together some place else.

This time around, Yoongi had you excited about life.

Your daydreaming started to include him.

And soon, you began to feel confused. This was the first time in your life that you had been talking to two guys.

Last year, you wouldn’t have imagined you’d feel this way about Yoongi. Just until now, you understood what ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’ really meant.

Maybe you never saw it as something potentially romantic because your heart was still set on Jungkook at the time.

But situations change. And it’s more than possible for one to feel different about someone because nothing’s the same anymore. It’s not because people change, essentially we do, but it’s mostly because something made us think differently. You opened your eyes. And there’s no way to fix that, you just have to let it happen.

Even though you took some time apart from seeing Jungkook, you still talked to him. You just needed time to sort out your thoughts about that last time you saw him.

You still like him very much so, and your newly found confusion about what to feel for Yoongi, made you want to search for Jungkook again.

You were sure you were doing something wrong. Nothing was set in stone, but that didn’t stop you from feeling guilty about it.

Exactly when that guilt was running through your mind, Yoongi texted you.

“i miss you, i’ve been thinking about you all week”

“i’m going to be there next month for a few weeks, so don’t make any plans”

“can’t believe i didn’t know i was one of those people that catch a 6-hour flight just for some kisses”

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There are days when things happen too quickly. Things you never planned.

You had a couple of days when you just wanted space. Maybe it was because you haven’t allowed yourself some time to process the past rollercoaster of emotions you got yourself into.

But that’s all you wanted, a few days to have some time alone, to recharge, before Yoongi arrived next week.

You’ve been doing this for years, and people were always concerned with you when you disappeared for a few days. You really wish you could follow the same advice you give to your friends.

“Don’t run away when things are hard, your friends are here for you.”

“Don’t drift away from me.”

But that’s all you’ve ever known, dealing with yourself on your own. You’re aware that it may not be healthy, but when you’re alone, you try to overcome your problems, feelings, or whatever’s bothering you. How can a little time to self-reflect be wrong?

This time, Olivia and Van exaggerated a bit. It had been like four days you hadn’t talked or texted anyone and their mind went to think the worst had happened to you. What ticked you off, was that four days had to pass before they checked on you, but whatever.

Turns out that Olivia and Van reached out to you because Olivia’s birthday was coming up on Monday, and they wanted to know if you were going out with them on Saturday.

obviously, yes, what kind of friend do you think I am???

Saturday came, and you never imagined this day would turn out like this.

First. You had been with Olivia since early in the morning. Breakfast was nice cause you were able to catch up on everything that happened since you last saw each other. Later, you decided to go get your nails done for tonight, but Olivia’s car died at like 1:00 p.m. Totally out of nowhere.

“Has this happened before?” You asked. “No, never, I really don’t understand why it won’t start.” Olivia started getting nervous because she didn’t have someone who could run to help. Her ex wouldn’t even answer her, and everyone else was far from where you were.

And you thought life wanted to have some fun because maybe it was a coincidence that Jungkook’s work was nearby, and he was just getting off. Really JUST a coincidence. “Don’t worry, actually I think Jungkookie can come to help us, just let me ask him.”

But tell me, why are you nervous to call him? It’s just him.

So, you called him to ask for help, and he was a lifesaver in its absolute glory. He arrived in about 15 minutes and got the car started immediately. You didn’t even say hello properly, you just waved at him as soon as you saw his car approaching you.

“He looks nice.” Olivia whispered to you while Jungkook was closing the hood of her car, then said to him, “I can’t believe you got here so fast, my dad or my sister would have got here in at least an hour!”

You could only manage to see their interaction unfold in front of you because you had no words. It’s been years since you were speechless because of someone. You literally couldn’t find the reason for being on edge like this. He giggled and told your friend “well, you’re lucky I work close by and that I got off early today.”

You were leaning against his car now, and it got you even more nervous that you couldn’t see his eyes because he was wearing sunglasses.

Well now you have to say something, now that you’re feeling two pairs of eyes on you.

“How was work today? wasn’t there a lot of traffic on your way here?” You finally spoke, your eyes directed at him, and he just smiled as he heard your voice at last.

It has been more than a month since he last saw you and, currently, he was certain that he had missed you.

“Yeah it was cool, and you know, you can’t escape traffic.” You nodded shyly and Olivia wanted to help you, she hasn’t seen you behave like this in a while.

So, she asked, “Have you eaten already?” and before he could say something she kept explaining, “We’re gonna go eat with my family for my birthday, you can come if you'd like!”

Now it was his turn to be a little uncomfortable at this. He would rather not get in the middle of your plans as much as he wanted to spend time with you, so he declined.

“No, don't worry about it! I’m actually going to see one of my friends to grab something.” You asked him, “Are you sure? I mean, you did us a big favor with her car” And he said almost exclusively to you, “It’s okay y/n, you know you can ask me anything.”

You would be lying if you said you didn't have your body on fire with those words.

But you were still feeling awkward around him, and you just wanted to get into the car again. Olivia took her chance to talk again. “You could cut the tension with a knife in here, right?” She felt an intense glare coming from you and continued, “Well, if you can’t come with us, we should get going y/n.”

You turned your eyes to Jungkook and said, “I guess we’ll see each other another day”. He gave you one of his biggest smiles and replied, “Sure, just tell me when”, “bye Olivia”. You got close to him and hugged him. Almost a whisper, “Thank you for this, I mean it.”

And with that, you got into Olivia’s car and asked her, “Are we really going to go with your family?” She was retouching her makeup a bit, as you were putting your seatbelt on, she let out a weird laugh, “Oh god y/n no, I was just trying to be polite with him, I saw you being weird so… that's why we're ‘eating with my family’” Olivia made quotes in the air, so you could finally understand what she meant.

“Can we go for something to drink? I’m dying for something, coffee, tea, 5 shots of vodka anything please” Olivia laughed again as you told her this. The weather today was really hot, you mentally patted yourself in the back for your outfit choice, you could be ugly sweating if you had chosen something else.

As soon as you got yourselves a bubble tea, you started to calm down and process everything that happened half an hour ago. “Can you please tell me why the fuck I was so shy back there?” Your head now in the dashboard of your friend’s car.

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Evening came, and you honestly just wanted to relax and have some drinks to celebrate your best friend’s birthday. However, the interaction you had earlier with Jungkook would not leave your head.

At the time you arrived to the bar with Olivia, you were feeling somewhat anxious. You wanted Jungkook to be there with you.

You were waiting in the queue until the staff could assign you a table. Van and her boyfriend were the first ones to arrive, so they took the task to adopt you tonight, the reason being that you were the only single person in the group.

I want to invite him.

You’ve been texting all day, but you weren’t sure you could show up with him tonight. You didn’t know who did Olivia invite, and you were worried that it was inappropriate to treat this as if you could invite whoever you wanted.

The first drink arrived. It was very naïve of you to think it would relax you whatsoever. All that alcohol did was make you desperate to have Jungkook right there, next to you.

I really really want to invite him.

Eventually, (like 10 minutes later), you finally asked Olivia if it was okay for you to ask him to come with you. Just after she told you it was totally fine, you thought how dumb it was for you to worry about something like that.

It didn’t take you more than once to ask Jungkook if he wanted to come, he almost ran to you. You could’ve sworn he was ready to be there even before you thought about inviting him.

You weren’t even halfway of your second drink when he called you to say that he had arrived at the bar. In the matter of a few minutes, you no longer were the ‘single’ friend in the group. Now you had your Jungkookie.

There are days when things happen too quickly. Things you never planned.

‘Things’ meaning ‘kissing’.

The thing is, that first kiss you shared, was long overdue.

All your emotions were conveyed in the touch of your lips. From your frustrations, resentments and regrets to your purest ones, as affection in its greatest form and lastly, the burning desire that had just ignited inside both of you.

It all happened on pure instinct. You hadn’t shut up for 5 minutes, and he was hearing you intently, looking straight in your eyes.

Then the urge to kiss was all you could think of. He could no longer focus in what you were saying, and neither did you. why am I talking?

Jungkook’s heart started beating faster. Not because he was nervous, but because your face was so close to his, and he could smell your perfume fused with the alcohol you’ve been drinking. Even though none of you was able to register how fast it happened, it still wasn’t happening fast enough.

For a long time, Jungkook kissed you. He pulled back a little. He was still staring at you, and you stared right back as Jungkook kissed you again, entirely different from the first time.

You blushed at the thought that there were people watching you share this moment. But you were happy. You weren’t confused right now. It just felt right to be here with him.

You didn’t think you’d get to do this in this universe. Kissing your friend whom you had been pining for 2 years.

“I think we should get back.” You shyly told him with a smile.

He returned you his most precious smile and his hand slid down your arm until it reached your hand and intertwined your fingers with his. “Let’s go then.”

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You stayed with your friends through the rest of the night, but you never let go of Jungkook’s hand, and he wasn’t planning on it either.

The night ended when Olivia got much too drunk to stand up on her own. Van and her boyfriend handled the account at the bar, while you and Jungkook took care of taking your best friend home.

He drove you to her home while you stayed in the back seat with Olivia to help her stay conscious in Jungkook’s car.

You got closer to the console and rested your head on the side of the driver’s seat, your hand dying to get a hold of Jungkook again.

“Thank you.” It came as a soft mumble, and suddenly the traffic light turned red.

Jungkook turned his head to see you, and the way you were looking at him caught him off guard.

Your eyes were looking upwards at him, with stars in your eyes, sparks falling on him, and you spoke again, “you’ve saved us twice today.”

His gaze was still fixated on you, he smiled and said, “i already told you, you can ask me anything and i’ll do everything for you.”

The softness in your voices made you think that you would never forget a single detail of this night. All you could do was appreciate how strange and brief the most beautiful moments in life are.

You got to Olivia’s house and Jungkook helped you carry her all the way to her bed. And as much as you may have wanted to stay one more hour with him, you kissed him goodbye. And kissed him again. Then he kissed you. And his hand went behind your neck and pulled you closer to his face, even if it was physically impossible. He wanted to kiss you until one of you couldn’t even breathe anymore.

That feeling. That desire. Where was it coming from?

“I’ve been waiting for the longest time to have you like this.” He spoke to your ear while catching his breath.

“You’re the one who was late, dummy”, “but we can’t do this tonight.”

“I know, but I just don’t want to leave you here. I feel like you’re going to disappear from me.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Kookie.” You moved your hand down his face, and rested it on the back of his neck. He tightened his arm around your waist, and you closed the distance again to give him a kiss on his cheek. “I’ll see you next week, alright?”

He nodded at your words and as he was pulling back from you, both his hands hastily went to grab a hold of your head just to give you the last kiss of the night.

Neither of you said anything else, you just giggled at his actions and sent him off to his house.

You both could not help but be drawn to each other.

●○●○●○●○●○●●○●○●○●○●○●●○●○●○●○●○●●○●○●○●○●○●

Monday and everything was going according to plan. In perfect harmony.

Yoongi was finally arriving tonight and you couldn’t be more excited to see him. It was almost a joke when you told him you were counting the hours until you were next to him.

But first, you were going to spend all day with Olivia, celebrating her birthday.

After collecting her birthday cake and flowers, you made your way to pick up your best friend to take you to the restaurant where Van, her boyfriend and your other friends would be waiting for the two of you.

After all the birthday antics directed towards your best friend, you almost felt bad that now all the attention had been brought to you and what happened last Saturday.

Even Olivia’s attention was all over you, urging you to tell them everything, EVERY-THING.

Van’s boyfriend was the first one to literally ask about Jungkook. “So who’s the handsome guy, huh? I liked him.” One raised eyebrow, eager to hear what you had to say.

Everyone went quiet, listening carefully to basically your whole story with Jungkook until the other day. Faint gasps were heard. Hands over mouths, eyebrows raised. One would think you were telling the most dramatic story ever heard in this century.

You started telling it with a lot of enthusiasm, but as you went on and thought back about why you stopped talking to him, it all felt so vivid once again. It was upsetting to feel like that over something you thought you had already put behind.

Once you finished, Van spoke, “Well, I know I didn’t see much of him but, he seems really nice towards you, I could tell he likes you a lot.”

“He actually helped us get my car going the other day, he REALLY is nice, like, he didn’t have to go do all that, but he got on his way as soon as y/n called him, fucking Kevin wouldn’t have done that for me…”

Van’s boyfriend had his chin resting on his hand, just nodding at everything your friends were saying, taking in all the information. “We should go on a double date.”

“Like, this Saturday.”

You laughed almost in disbelief. Brows furrowed “Are you sure?”

“Why wouldn't I be?!! I told you I liked him!”

“Babe, you like everyone…” Van said while patting his hand.

“Well I like him most, he looks cool and like he can hold his drinks”, “text him right now and tell him that.”

“Tell him that I INVITED him!”

“Not fair you guys”, Olivia told you and pursed her lips. “I want to go tooooooo.”

“Well you can go but, heads up, we’re all gonna be busy eating each other’s faces.”

Van raised her index finger, clarifying that thought, “WITH OUR RESPECTIVE PARTNERS.”

You did send Jungkook that text and he responded straight away, but you kept joking around with your friends, that you forgot to text him back. “Of course I’ll go, I’m dying to see you” “tell them I say thanks for the invite too 😉”

But also because something else was on your mind.

Your attention went to your friends and occasionally to your watch. The thrill to see Yoongi, after a year of him existing solely through your screen, was on a new height.

The thought of him being already on his way to see you had you acting 100x sillier with your friends. And you actually couldn’t wait anymore to be in his arms.

Soon, a text came.

“I’m waiting to pick up my bags, it’ll take me around 20 minutes I think?”

“Where are you? are you still with your friends?”

You didn’t waste any more time at that and you hurriedly said goodbye to everyone. It almost seemed out of the blue. But you couldn’t care any less, you needed to be with Yoongi now.

You went to the airport as fast as you could and thankfully, you were the one that waited Yoongi for a couple of minutes.

The instant you saw each other, Yoongi dropped his bags and opened his arms. This made you run towards him to not hug, but to cling to his torso.

His scent assaulted you. This fresh citrusy smell, like warm wood, was all you could perceive. It reminded you of the countless days and nights you spent with him. Wrapped in his clothes and arms. You missed him.

He beat you to say it first though. “i’m not gonna deny that i missed you a lot.”

“Yoongi… i really really wanted to be with you.”

“I’m here now.”

With a groan, you buried your face in his neck and he quickly began stroking your hair. “i missed you Yoongi.”

He was thankful that you couldn’t see his face right now because he was flushing. He giggled and told you, “me too y/n.”

“I say we should get going now so I can show you how much I miss you, what do you think?” He finally put you down, still in front of him. Then when you bent down to help him with one of his bags, he stopped you and took your hand in his. “Tell me.”

“what? you want me to tell you how needy I am for you?” You wanted to give him the most puppiest eyes ever, but the way you were craving him got in the way you held your gaze.

He grabbed his bags and then whispered to your ear, “it would be nice, but i already know how needy you get around me.”

He was right, still you smiled like a kid caught doing something naughty.

“do you now?”

“you shouldn’t be surprised baby, just because we didn’t see each other for a year doesn’t mean i forgot everything about you”, “i couldn’t stop thinking about every little thing that i like about you.”

“god Yoongi, please stop talking or i swear i’m going to do something indecent.”

The smirk in his face hasn’t gone for a while. “when has that stopped us before?”

“but alright, i’ll be a good boy and wait for you to be indecent at your house.”

He ended with a kiss on the top of your head and both started walking towards the exit. You went for one of his bags to help him carry it, mostly with the intention of holding his hand once again.

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I don’t know why I always want to run away?

I want things I can’t have.

I’m confused now. I felt so good on the weekend, but I don’t know what to feel as of now.

I want Yoongi. I don’t know if I should wait for that possibility but, he’s what I want.

And now that I experienced what I always wondered and wanted, and actually enjoyed being with Jungkook, I can’t see past that. Is it normal? Is it bad?

Am I getting my feelings mixed up? Right now I feel like I don’t know myself. I was so happy on Sunday. I felt so calm, life was treating me so well.

But until yesterday, when I started telling my friends about Jungkook, I started to remember about last year and, I got so insecure.

Today I craved Yoongi’s attention. I felt so needy. Why are my feelings suddenly so strong with him?

I know I can’t keep myself closed up, that I need to experience relationships, but I also feel like I’m in no hurry. But when I say that, I feel like a coward. Just keeping myself safe without learning. I know I shouldn’t be scared of getting hurt, but I can’t help it when I literally don’t trust anyone.

As much as I love Jungkook, I can’t trust him.

Strangely, I don’t even want to know what he’s thinking. I just want to be sure of what I feel, because when I know that, I’m certain that I won’t be afraid of the outcome.

What’s making me feel like this? Is it him? Is it my fears or something else in me?

I don’t recognize my feelings right now, I’m not even worried, I just feel uneasy.

Maybe it’s uncertainty? I hate not knowing what I should do.

When will I make up my mind?

Maybe if it were someone else, I wouldn’t be overthinking this.

Something tells me that things with Jungkook won’t be right. I can’t see my future with him.

I have this idea of what I want to feel when I’m sure that I’m in love and I don’t know if I’m romanticizing it too much, but this isn’t it.

I have the sensation that my freedom’s been taken away.

I don’t understand myself, while I wasn’t sure of anything, I still feel like it was nice to be with him.

But now I know that I don’t want something serious with him. He’s not my person.

If he was, I wouldn’t be thinking of someone else.

I wouldn’t be thinking of how much I want to be with Yoongi and do everything with him.

I’m not in love.

I won’t keep this going, because I know it won’t make me happy.

I don’t want to sneak at night. I don’t want to tiptoe in the mornings so no one knows I was there. I don’t want silent awkward car rides. I want to feel loved.

I don’t know if I’ll hurt him, I feel guilt all over again. But I haven’t forgotten what I promised myself. That I won’t make myself go through things I don’t want to do, just because I don’t want to hurt their feelings.

Maybe this was bound to happen and maybe I just messed up our friendship.

But it’s just another ending. Feelings change and I can’t do anything about that. I won’t force them on me just for the sake of someone else. How could I know that I’d end up feeling like this?

I shouldn’t have kissed Jungkook.

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syuga-s · 2 years

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can't believe I managed to write 10k words for a fic and I'm not even finished

#this is exciting #kpop imagines #kpop drabbles #kpop fanfic #kpop reader insert #hinting at #bts members

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syuga-s · 2 years

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just another night

w.c 5.2k

pairing. Seungsik x gn!reader

genre. fluff, friends in love

a/n. lmao, I can't believe I'm here again after 5 MONTHS, and basically, I'm here again bc Seungsik has been living in my head like a cute lil parasite for weeks. i truly love this man and I just had to write something very self-indulgent,,, ALSO i know I'm very late for valentine's, tried to post this like 2 weeks ago but look where we are (and warnings?) mentions of alcohol, moderate consumption nothing extreme, also alcohol preparation? the word sex is there, food is mentioned too, nothing crazy i swear

You and Seungsik have been friends since high school. It’s been about 10 years since you’ve been in each other's life. You’re always texting each other, even if you don’t see often. He’s your best friend. You’ve fallen into a comfortable friendship when you see each other every other month. When you both feel it’s been too long, and you need to catch up with your lives. It wasn’t until two days after Valentine's Day that it occurred to you that you hadn’t asked him what he did on that day. Unfortunately, you had your own little love “trouble” that you forgot to ask him about his day. The reason is, that your ex hasn’t left you alone for months.

He’s been begging you nonstop to go out with him. Telling you he’s changed, that he wants to treat you better for once. You know they’re just easy words. But the part of you that feels great when you’re with him would like to believe everything he says.

“I want to take you out to dinner” “I intend to keep knowing you, please don’t shut me out” “We can go to the movies, for coffee, you name it” “Please let me see you again”

It’s so funny how you may have wanted this years ago. And now, when it’s actually happening, him telling you everything you wanted to hear. You ended up falling for it. Despite not wanting to be in a relationship with him anymore, you finally caved in to his pleads, and it’s like he shifts into someone else every time we get to this point.

This time his text said, “what are we supposed to do on a Thursday?” idk bro, everything? Anything? BE TOGETHER LIKE YOU WANTED? “I guess you could come watch anime? i mean if you want” By no means I’m saying it’s a bad idea but, why does it only have to come to that EVERY time?

Whatever you have with him is difficult. Your love life (or lack thereof) is beyond hard, for sure. Feelings are difficult. So, your head has been on that topic for a few days because he asked you out for the 14th, and you couldn’t even muster up the energy to answer him.

You just wanted to see your best friend.

When you texted Seungsik on Wednesday night, you finally asked him if he had an eventful Valentine's Day. And when his reply was, “i didn’t do much, had a lot of work”, you immediately knew he was upset.

Now you needed to call him. He picked up at the first ring. Before anything, you spoke, “what happened with Sol? tell me everything.” He groaned, apparently not wanting to discuss it, but he knew you knew something had happened, and he clearly had to let it out.

“They were avoiding me, they barely wanted to go out on dates, always busy with who knows what, so when I wanted to plan something for valentine’s they simply said no. Obviously, I got upset, we got into an argument, and you know how that ends.”

While you were listening to him, you suddenly came up with a plan.

“I’m sorry Seungsikie, I always knew they were too boring for you.” You said in a teasing tone and he laughed. “And look if they never wanted to go out with you that’s their fucking loss.” “Yeah, well, I guess I was hoping things would be different at some point.” It hurt your heart to hear him say that. He’s always been a romantic, but in all seriousness, he always gets the worst partners. “I know what won’t make you upset anymore, let’s go out this Friday, you can’t say no alright, plus I really really want to see you.” “I know, we haven’t gone out since your birthday, I’m missing you too”, then his tone got kinda doubtful, “what exactly are your plans nerd?” you were both THE nerds in high school, always the ones that handed the tests at the same time, always the two that got up and solved math problems for the whole class, you’ve always been a team. “What makes you think I’ll tell you, dork? Knowing that you’re gonna see me should be enough for you” Neither of you knows how the two have been smiling just by hearing each other’s voices. You always forget how much you miss seeing him every day. He never notices how fast time goes by because suddenly, it’s been months since he felt this relaxed. And it was just your voice that made him feel at home after the past few days when he felt like shit. “I still need to know where, so I know how to pick my outfit, dummy” This man dresses better than you, so it made you laugh how he’s always worried about those things. “So?” “Oh my god, just wear whatever you like, you’re gonna be the best dressed no matter what, plus I bet you have new clothes you’ve been dying to wear so…” This time you made him laugh louder at your annoyed tone and that made him go along with your secret plan. “Alright then, but are you gonna dress cute though?” “Don’t know, maybe, we’ll see on Friday, love you bye” “Good night nerd, love you too” You’ve been organizing things all Thursday to make tomorrow perfect. Usually, Seungsik was the one that planned things when you went out, he always took you to the best restaurants, the best bars, always making sure you had a good time. So, you wanted to take care of everything this time. He deserved it. When you felt confident with your plan, you let Seungsik know that same night that you wanted him ready at 6:00 pm tomorrow. You took the day off, so you could clean your house and prep things for the night. You decided to do Seungsik’s favorite things. The first stop was to go for coffee to this new shop one of your coworkers recommended you. Next stop, go to one of his fave Japanese restaurants. Then you wanted to invite him to your apartment, so you could show him off your new mixology skills. You’ve been teaching yourself to make cocktails lately. Always on your never-ending search for new hobbies. And you felt you were pretty good at it, so you were dying to make him some of his favorite drinks. And it felt right because if you ended up deciding to get drunk you were gonna avoid a lot of, let’s say, unpleasant steps.

Finally, you were getting ready, and you decided to go for an all-black outfit. Black turtleneck sweater, black leather skirt, and black stockings. Today was cold, so a sherpa black denim jacket and black platform boots were a must. You went for gold jewelry and your beloved pink wool scarf. As for your makeup, your routine had changed to simply concealer, blush, mascara, eyeliner, and whatever lipstick you were vibing lately. You quickly gave your dog some water, food, and a little pad in case he needed to do his little business. “I’ll come back later Maxy, be good.” Grabbed all your keys and made your way to the café. Seungsik was already there when you arrived. He was waiting for you outside. It made you so happy to see him. And it may sound cheesy, but when you saw his outfit, you couldn’t help but smile. He was wearing the pink satin jacket you bought him a few years ago. Black turtleneck sweater, black denim jeans, and black boots. One would have thought that you managed to dress the same on purpose. When you got closer, you both couldn’t help but laugh at how you both looked. You were the one who hugged him first. For some reason, he had thought it was a good idea to stand outside in the freezing cold waiting for you to come. So, when he felt your hug, he was so glad you were this warm. It was one of those hugs where he could feel all the warmth radiating from you. For you, it was different. For a moment everything felt so calm, so safe, like nothing could hurt you. He softly rubbed your back and finally talked. “Let’s go inside, my face is getting numb from the cold”. You laughed in his chest, and he took you in his arms and walked together to order something. The café had this Parisian feel to it. It was beautiful and Seungsik told you he loved it. That got you happy once again. He ordered an espresso and you had a latte. As soon as you tasted them, you both looked at the eyes of each other, without having to speak you know he meant he didn’t like it because you thought the same about your drink. “You want to taste mine?” You offered. He gave you his cup too, so you could try it, and both had the same eyes again. You had to laugh now because both drinks were really bad, and you weren’t used to that. He muttered, “well at least the place is nice, we could take some photos”. Later you met the owner, and you found out that it’s only been open for three days. So, you agreed to come back another day to give them another chance. Seungsik’s been insisting on taking photos of you here. He said you looked adorable in this place and that you actually needed to update your feed. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at that. He knew you weren’t fond of taking pics, but ultimately, you gave in to his request. And he wasn’t lying, you felt cute in the pictures he took, but that was enough effort for the day. You figured it was time to take him to eat, so you got into your car and headed to the restaurant. His favorite restaurant turned into your favorite too after a few years. Since it always reminded you of him. You’ve been here with your other friends, but it’s never the same without Seungsik. Being here, watching him in the subtle red glow of neon signs, you realize how cool he looks right now, particularly with his cherry-red hair, in your eyes he’s always been the best guy ever. He is unaware of your gaze, looking at the menu, deciding what to order. The scenario you had was begging to be captured, so you took your phone out and took a picture of your best friend. He noticed after you took it, and he just gave you a sweet smile. The servers already knew you two were regulars, so they always took special care of you. Tonight you went for some gyozas, ramen, and an order of sushi to share. A few beers and you were set. “I’ve been meaning to talk about your hair” he blurted out. You narrowed your eyes and gave him a playful smile but didn’t say anything, urging him to keep talking. “You dyed it, I- I mean” he started stuttering for some reason. it was just you, though? “I really like it, out of

all your looks I think this is my favorite” and now you blushed. “When did you change it? Last time I saw you, you still had your two-toned thing going on.” You tilted your head and rested your chin on your hand to think about it a bit. “Around mid-December, I think? It was before Christmas, for sure.” “Well, I like it” you smiled with his words and he smiled knowing that his words made you happy. Your food came, and the conversation moved on to some work stuff. How you both have been busier lately. Then you mentioned your parents and what you did over the holidays. How stressed you were at the end of the year because you took care of everything those days. He told you he’s been stressed for a while too because he moved to another apartment, finally on his own. You told him you had seen Diane and Ash last week for Ash’s birthday. That her boyfriend threw her a little surprise party and how you thought that those two are gonna end up married soon. He asked about Diane. She was the only one of your friends that he really liked for some reason. “She actually moved back into my building! Her clothing line has been doing really well, that’s why she came back.” “And what about you?” He fixed his gaze on you. “What do you mean? I’ve been talking about me all this time” His question threw you off, along with his expression. Suddenly, an air of seriousness. Seungsik repeated, “About you, tell me what you’ve been up to? Who are you going out with? i don’t know something like that.” The first thing you could do was shrug. “I mean I’m good? everything’s calm for once, but — you remember Louis, right?” Seungsik couldn’t hide his disgust. He hated Louis. His face turned into a frown, and he crossed his arms. Instinctively rejecting the thought of that person. You continued telling him. “Well, it’s not actually something, but he’s still there, you know? he begs me constantly to go out with him, i haven’t seen him in about 8 months or so? Apparently, he’s dying to be with me again, but you know him.” “Yeah, good, don’t go out with him.” It wasn’t funny, but you chuckled at that. “Yeah, don’t worry, I’m not planning on it.” Seungsik hated Louis since the moment you met him. He knew he wasn’t serious about anything. And with time, he knew how unaware Louis was about all he had when you were in a relationship. He didn’t understand what you loved about him, despite all the times he heard you say it. In his eyes, you were far too much for that good-for-nothing dumbass. He figured he always thought that way because you’re his best friend. He loved you too much to see you with someone like that. But maybe somewhere along the way, he got confused about that love. Or possibly, involuntarily, he maintained that love as platonic. You raised your brow at him, watching how his mind went somewhere else, “what’s on your mind? tell me". He hadn’t even noticed he was clenching his teeth. “just thinking about how unlucky we are in love” lie. But that made you laugh. “Seungsik, you’re saying that as if it was new information”, “we’re dumb that’s all.” You took a few more beers, and he asked you if you wanted to share one of the desserts you loved in here. And you obviously said yes. He told you that he had talked to his mom earlier. “Mom says she misses you, she asked me how you’ve been doing, but I didn’t know what to tell her, so you need to visit her soon.” Moments like this, when he says those kinds of things, make you think how lucky you are to have him in your life. It’s not common to be this meshed in someone’s life. All you could do was smile and nod at him. The silence between you was starting to burn. Onset to illuminate something else. You explained to Seungsik that your next and last stop was your house, so you paid the bill and made your way out of the restaurant. The entire staff seeing you off loudly, “mata okoshi kudasaimase!”. It was getting even colder outside, making your nose turn red instantly. You had left your car a little far from the restaurant, so you clung to Seungsik’s torso. And as if

it were the most mundane act, he placed his arm around you. Enjoying the source of a bit of warmth once again. Walking along the street in each other’s embrace. Relishing in the other’s perfumes. Content. Just when you thought you were walking alone, a guy in the street approached you and offered to sell you flowers. As you were mistaken for a couple by him. Both laughed it off because that was a regular occurrence whenever you went out, but it always caught you off guard, like now. You never explained to others that you’re not together because you know the exact words that’ll come out of their mouths. “But you look so good together!” Yes, we know.“Are you sure you’re not a couple?” As far as we know, we’re just friends. It’s simply bothersome to discuss the nature of your relationship with strangers. But at the same time, one would think you were staying away from that conversation yourselves. Ultimately, Seungsik bought you a couple of flowers from the guy, thanking him for the small bouquet as you walked away. Still headed to your car, you kept laughing about what just happened. “So that was new”, you giggled as you searched for your car keys. He smirked while you unlocked your car doors, once you were both inside he joked and said, “next time pay for your own flowers won’t you?” When you entered your house, your dog Max didn’t waste time jumping at Seungsik’s feet. His little tail wagging incessantly, giving him the most enthusiastic welcome, which made you jealous. Your tiny baby quickly forgot about you as soon as he saw your best friend, which hasn’t been at your place in about forever. “Hello Maxy, you’ve gotten so big!!!” His voice getting into a high pitch as if he were talking to a baby. Which he was. He held up your dog, again, like a baby. Soon you cleaned up his mess, thankfully it wasn’t much so you got done with it in 5 minutes. You stood next to him while he kept baby talking to your fur baby. Top 10 most heartwarming scenes in your life. Finally, your dog remembered you existed and started slipping away from Seungsik’s hold. When you took him, you mumbled in your baby voice too, “oh so you like Seungsikie more than me now, huh? can’t blame you, Maxy.” Seungsik wasn’t sure if he was meant to hear that, or if he just has excellent hearing. However, he got this fuzzy feeling even though your place was freezing. His eyes followed you as you set your dog in his tiny bed with a little bone to chew at. He noticed how you were rushing to do things just so you could give him all your attention again. A sensation burning brighter. You finally came back to him and pushed him into your kitchen, which made him laugh at your action. You brought Seungsik to your little island and made him sit on a stool. When he saw everything you had left on the counter, he asked, “what’s all this?” “Behold!” gesturing him all your things neatly put in a stand which included a shaker, jiggers, various strainers, and a mixing glass. Along with bottles with different liquors and some new glasses you had bought for tonight’s drinks. A few herbs, leaves, and orange slices weren’t missing either. You were so proud of your setup that it had your hands on your hips with a proud look on your face. Then you clapped your hands together, making Seungsik jump at the sudden sound. “SO, I have everything for your faves, get ready to have me as your favorite bartender from now on.” A smug expression now on your face. First, you got some coffee out to start making a cup of espresso. While you allowed the coffee to steep, Seungsik was wrapped in the smell of the coffee grounds, already knowing which drink was coming his way. His view was a bit limited from where he was sitting, all he could see was how focused you were on doing this and that in the counter. You actually know what you’re doing with alcoholic drinks, so you can say they’re pretty easy to make. But the chances of messing them up are really high too. Mixology really is an art. You prepped the glasses with ice cubes and poured the Liquor 43 in each

of them, all that was left was the espresso, and they were done. You and Seungsik have had them with a lit-up cinnamon stick on top, which is an excellent plus, but maybe it’d be too much now when it’s just the two of you. Handing him the glass seemed like an accomplishment. You’ve been thinking about this moment for days. You wanted to clink glasses, and he got up from the stool. Suddenly, you felt how tall he was as he was facing you. His eyes crinkled when he said, “cheers!” You knew the drink was good, you MADE IT. But now you needed to know if it had lived up to Seungsik’s expectations. You were holding on to your glass for dear life, just waiting for a sign, an expression, anything. He wanted to toy with you. He saw the anticipation in your eyes. And in your whole body, actually. You seemed like a puppy waiting to be picked up. Trying his best not to demonstrate any emotion, he placed the glass on the counter and spent a few minutes squinting his eyes, pursing his lips, as if he was some connoisseur all of a sudden. Catching up on his game, you rolled your eyes and lightly hit him in the arm. Now he threw his head back in amusement, touching the spot where your hand had touched his arm. Still laughing, he finally assured you that he loved it. “it’s so good i can’t believe you” — “never thought you’d make drinks this GOOD.” “and if you keep that game going on that’s the last one you’ll get” you retorted. But soon your exasperation turned into a beaming smile followed by a giggle. Even prouder than before. “you’re so annoying, i swear.” As you slowly emptied your glasses, you started telling him about your journey in making cocktails. How you just decided one day that you wanted to learn how to make good drinks and spent several weeks attempting to master some recipes. You told him it’s not really hard because it’s not like you’re set on becoming a pro, but that you still needed a lot of practice and patience. “i can teach you later if you want.” After those words, he felt motivated to finish his drink and return to the kitchen with you. It was amusing seeing him like this. He looked awkward at your kitchen, not knowing whether you were gonna let him do something or just explain the steps to making a drink. The next drink you had thought of was even simpler. A gin and tonic with frozen berries and mint leaves. You urged Seungsik to get closer so he could see everything going on. When you reached for the alcohol and tonic water, you asked him to fill other glasses with berries and a bit of ice. When he brought them back, he stood beside you, watching how you filled them with the new mix. Shortly, you grabbed the mint leaves you had in front of you and handed some to him. “go crazy.” You were about to taste it when he stopped you because he wanted to clink glasses again. Or so you thought. Because in fact, he cheered softly, “to another 10 years”, which made you lock eyes with him. You could only muster up to raise the glass. You moved to your sofa and started talking about your friendship. Which was brought up from his most recent words. “can’t believe it’s been about 10 years and we’re still here”, “not many people get to that.” He said while facing you. It made you think. Well, certainly not. We go through so much in our lives, we grow constantly. And that means that we outgrow feelings, even whole parts of ourselves. Our lives change, and that means people leave. Friends leave. In some cases, we are the ones who end up leaving. And that never stops. So, when you acknowledge there’s someone in your life where you only feel a quiet calmness when they’re around, you have to make sure they stay a part of your life. With Seungsik, even a text or a phone call at the end of the day would always bring a smile to your face. You’ve been through enough in the past years to know that neither of you will leave the other. As time goes by, you’ve made sure to keep safe in your heart all the memories you’ve made together. From the countless nights where you went out to get intoxicated; where

you would run to him and cry your eyes out because someone had hurt you; to the days you would drag him to concerts where he didn’t know who the artist was. And the most insignificant things (to most people) as well. Like the times he would send you a song just because it made him think of you; the notes he would give you when you were in school; to even the short walks to anywhere because for a few minutes you were hugging all his warmth. You finally spoke, ”i’m really glad you haven’t left my life, i mean it” and leaned your head on his shoulder. Over the years, you had found you’re quite content in just having him nearby. Sure, you’ve been in romantic relationships before, you’ve been in love. But the love you and Seungsik have for each other is different. Even if you haven’t acknowledged it yet. The intimacy between you is what everyone would dream of having in their lives. The talking with your eyes. The way, you can’t go 2 seconds without some sort of physical touch. The back rubs when you hug. The late-night talks in your cars. And days like today especially. He had leaned his head against yours earlier. But both ended up spending minutes wrapped in your own thoughts instead of doing or saying something else. Strangely so, you’ve never had felt the rush to act on your feelings. And tonight wasn’t any different, both just enjoying how close you were at the moment. The night felt endless, you kept making drinks, but in the end, you both got drunk enough to go back to basics. Meaning beers. The heartfelt comments from earlier turned into jokes. Jokes turned into half-drunk singing to some random list of greatest hits on youtube for hours. He could hear you sing the same song on replay for days. He has always loved your voice, and tonight, he sat on your sofa to watch you sing one of your favorite songs. He could see the passion you felt, and his eyes couldn’t hide how he felt about you. For the first time in years, he wanted to kiss you. When the song ended, you turned to your left to face him. Not being sure if you or him were already very drunk, but there was something about the way he was staring at you that you felt like you were meant to fall for him all along. Both brushed off those thoughts once again when you asked him if he was already drunk. “i got sleepy all of a sudden” his code for yes. He sank into your couch and whined, “i should go before it gets too late.” You ended up cuddling next to him, drunk enough to feel your eyes closing on their own. Seungsik soon lovingly running his fingers through your hair. Relishing on how relaxed he was making you feel. You mumbled he should stay. “it’s not like you have work tomorrow.” His eyes were closed, too, and he wasn’t expecting those words at all. If he wasn’t this tired or drunk, he wouldn’t have been able to keep his composure in front of you. He even stopped the movements of his hand and stilled it at your shoulder. You gently moved your hand, so it could rest on top of his. It was just a touch. Innocent like friends. But it’s like time stopped for him. He now knew how he’s been lying to himself all along. You were touching his hand so casually, but it was driving him wild. It’s like you had electric charges in your fingertips. And he couldn’t deny he loved you more than a friend. Not a word was said for the rest of the night. You both fell asleep like that. Both wanting to stay right there a little longer. And that’s how you slept together for the first time. No kisses, no sex, just sleeping. Seungsik woke up first and saw you still asleep. Both still in the same position. He smiled when he saw you deep in slumber. He attempted to hold you closer to him without waking you up. Falling in love. Last night, he heard those words in his head. He realized he would’ve rather spent valentine’s with you. In fact, he actually never wants to have another date if it’s not with you. Currently, he hears his heart saying, you’re all i want. At long last, he decided to wake you up. He moved your shoulder, tickled your ear, and moved

his fingers through your hair again. You finally yawned, meaning you had woken up. You felt it was a miracle how you weren't feeling hungover but actually starving. With one eye open and the other closed, you turned your face upwards to get a look at Seungsik. He smiled at your face and whispered, “i’m hungry let's get some food come on” and with that, he kissed your cheek. Once you were awake enough to realize what he did, you stared at his eyes while he did the same. You don’t know if you imagined the small lingering moment, the way you’d both held your breaths as if time stopped. Both thinking that you should wait, that you shouldn’t be this close for the sake of your friendship. While the other part of you didn’t want to wait any longer and was screaming for you to finally take that step. Both knew that you loved each other without needing to say it. He ran his fingers through your hair for the second time today. You were about to kiss when your phone started to ring. The two of you were brought down back to earth against your will. You didn’t care about the call. Not planning to answer this early while you were with him, but it felt like the universe wasn’t agreeing on you two yet. Eventually, you got up from the sofa to stretch your legs and took the chance to go see who had called you. And you audibly groaned at the name that appeared on your screen. Seungsik hesitated to ask, but he did it anyway. “who was it?” Although, based on your reaction, he already had someone in mind.

"You don’t want to know,” you told him while you let out a dry laugh. Not even wanting to think about him yourself. When he asked if it was Louis and you nodded at him, he felt upset. That’s when he comprehended that he didn’t want to play games anymore. He just wanted to be with you. And by the look in your eyes, it was not just him who thought that. Finally, you were undeniably in sync with one another.

#victon #seungsik #kang seungsik #victon seungsik #seungsik victon #victon fluff #victon imagines #victon fanfic #victon oneshot #victon scenarios #seungsik fluff #seungsik imagines #seungsik oneshot #seungsik scenarios #victon au #seungsik au #seungsik x reader #victon angst #seungsik angst

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syuga-s · 3 years

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obsessed with the bad boy with a soft spot for one specific person trope

#kpop imagines #kpop fanfic #kpop reactions #kpop reader insert #kpop drabbles #kpop writing

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syuga-s · 3 years

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destined to be strangers | and love has vanished

w.c 5.6k

pairing. Jihoon x gn!reader, Junhui x gn!reader

genre. coming of age, fluff, a dash of angst

a/n. i APOLOGIZE in advance because it's a fic for us hoes, v suggestive undertones, but i promise it's an overall angsty/fluffy story, curse words, idk what else but pls have fun (ᵔ◡ᵔ)

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

Two days after the party, Minghao reached out to you.

He couldn’t get you out of his head, actually, he didn’t want to. How could he feel this way about you when you only spent a few hours together? He couldn’t get enough of you. Maybe the reason is that you were alike. He loved that you seemed quiet, even shy before you met, but when you felt confident enough around him, you were anything but dull.

He got to meet this cute and sweet person, smiling and laughing all the time.

When you started talking, you never knew how everything would turn out. He was truly so easy to talk to. Now he couldn’t imagine himself not talking to you. Both of you ended staying up until morning multiple times talking about everything you could think of, but mostly about music, and because of this, you found out how many things in common you shared with him.

This led you to show each other your favorite songs that you wouldn’t dare show anyone else. As a matter of fact, you knew these kinds of things can only happen once in life. You started to tell him things that you’ve never shared with another soul before, and he wanted to hear more about you.

But that would be the highest point of your relationship with Minghao. How you wish you knew that back then.

On a different note, you were in your last year in high school, which turned into pure chaos. You’re so grateful you had Jeonghan by your side all along. The fact that Dani and Sara weren’t in the same school as you had its downsides, especially in times like this.

In your first year, you were excited that you would make more friends, and you did. Blair and Gigi were there. Blair and you were inseparable at one point. Until you started spending every single moment of every day with Jeonghan. And honestly, it came to you as a shock when she stopped talking to you just because she thought he was your boyfriend.

Apparently, she was the one who had feelings for him and decided to take her frustrations on you. Losing a friend out of jealousy? We’re not in a movie, Blair. Besides, you and Hanie aren’t like that, you’re just two souls that happen to be existing at the same time, and love each other very much. You feel so safe around him, he trusts you with everything in him, and I mean, yes, you’re always together. Are you not allowed to be with your best friend or what?

You wish that losing a friend didn’t feel like part of you is gone. You wish that someone could understand how you were feeling because you can’t understand anything in this situation at all. Yes, Gigi was there, but your lives were not meant to bring you together yet. You would reach that point a year later.

Everything else was somewhat irrelevant, most importantly you were doing good in school, as always.

Before you knew it, you were gonna graduate and that meant focusing on getting ready for college.

October 16 | five years ago

You had a party tonight. Sincerely, you wouldn’t have wanted to go if it wasn't for a friend’s birthday. You forced Dani to go with you with the promise that you would play beer pong with her and leave exactly at midnight, which you did, but your night wouldn't end there. Because, fortunately, your town is known for its nightlife and the way the party doesn’t end until you say so. There is this square full of bars in the heart of the city and lately, Dani, Sara along with you, have become regulars. There wasn’t a weekend when the three of you weren’t seen in some bar there and soon everyone started to recognize the three of you.

You didn’t have what you would call a plan once you got there. You were always kind of bar hopping and tonight wasn’t any different. The minute you got there you saw that Jeonghan and Blair had arrived too, and yeah, you would have been surprised to see them together if you didn’t know they have been friends for as long as Dani has been yours.

You just kind of forgot for a moment they still had a friendship going on. When they caught sight of you, they immediately approached.

“Heeeeyyyy!! y/n! Dani!!! I didn’t know you were coming tonight!!” Blair screaming, almost as if you couldn’t tell how tense she was with having to talk to you.

“Haha yeah! We didn’t know either. I thought I would see you at Alexis’s party, though,” You said while clinging to Jeonghan’s arm.

“Right, about that…” Jeonghan said with a put-off expression with the sole thought of the party. “We felt like it would be super boring, so we passed.” Dani sighed at his words. “GOD, IT WAS SO BORINNGGGG”.

The four of you started walking a little along the street when Blair asked. “So, which bar are you headed to?” You turned to Dani to figure out what you were going to do, but she just shrugged and answered. “I don’t know actually, we were just gonna walk around and stay where it felt right, as usual, haha”

You were walking beside Hanie, and he had his arm around your shoulders. He was the next to speak, so he could ask you if you wanted to come with them. “We’re coming to the Treehouse, there are some guys from high school already there.” Doesn’t sound like the greatest way to spend your night, but you might as well go, you never know.

You were practically at the door when you saw this tall guy talking on the phone. He saw you at the same time and sent you a smile. It was Junhui. You were quite surprised that he's being this friendly towards you, considering you never saw each other again until today.

He hung up his phone and came closer to properly say hello. “Hi, Jun!! It’s been ages, haha.” It’s been only a year, you clown.

“I know right!! How have you been y/n?” he remembers your name??? If it weren’t kind of dark in here, you could’ve sworn he could see your cheeks turning red. “I’m good! Are you with friends??” You asked while trying to follow the sight of Dani or Jeonghan because they didn’t wait for you when you stopped to say hello to Jun.

Jun looked up to see if he could find his friends. “Yeah, actually I think I might have lost them, they must be around here somewhere haha.”

You grinned at what he just said. “In fact, I think I need to look for mine too, I’ll see you later I guess?” And you entered the bar before he could answer you, so he could only nod his head, and you waved him goodbye.

Why are you so awkward sometimes? There was no need to be nervous, he's been nothing but nice to you dummy.

Thankfully, as soon as you got in, you saw Dani with Jeonghan and all the others. Surprisingly, you were enjoying yourself until the bar got packed and Dani started giving you a look that said –let’s go, PLEASE–

You got close to Jeonghan’s ear and told him “Babe we’re gonna go out for a while, we need some air. im.me.diate.ly.” He didn’t ask anything and just nodded. So, you pulled Dani’s hand and got out of that pool of sweat.

You started wandering around and to your surprise you found Minghao.

With Wonwoo, a girl you’ve never seen before?, Jihoon and Junhui.

Oh, so he came with them.

They all saw you two, and now you didn’t have a choice but to say hello to everyone.

You weren’t going to greet Jun again, but suddenly, he was leaning towards you to kiss your cheek as if you hadn’t just seen each other an hour ago.

Dani and you were about to go and keep walking around for a few more minutes, but Wonwoo blurted out, “Why don’t you stay with us? Are you down for shots?” And he had you with those words. There’s no reason to say no to shots. Or him.

Dani and you started chatting with Wonwoo and Minghao for a while. Then the seven of you went for said shots and downed the first one. Talked a little more and afterward, you suggested taking another one. But Dani and Wonwoo were the only ones that went along with you.

You all got out of there and started talking about where you should go next.

For some reason (that you don’t know) you started teasing Jihoon. But it was justified. HE’S HAD THAT BEER SINCE FOREVER. It’s like he was waiting for that thing to get to a boiling point. “We’re not going anywhere until he finishes that, why are you drinking soup?” And he swallowed that thing in a split of a second while making eye contact with you.

You just laughed, but we're honest, he looked somewhat intimidating right now. Maybe you pissed him off a bit.

You decided you were gonna go to this next bar on a rooftop and on your way there you found Jeonghan and Blair again.

And this other dude named Soonyoung was with all of you all of a sudden? You don’t know where he came from but apparently, he's friends with Jihoon? And, the unidentified girl is his cousin?

And look, having known Blair since years ago, you knew how she got when she was drunk, so this was no surprise to you. But she started kissing Soonyoung so quickly that you're sure she broke her record. You could see how everyone was as dumbfounded as you, so it was better if you left those two alone and started going upstairs to the bar. From there your memory is kinda blurry, not because you were drunk, you hadn't even drunk tonight, but that part of the night was a weird blur, not to mention the energy switch around all of you.

Shortly, Jeonghan, Blair, and the other girl went home. Who knows what time it was right now. But you were chatting with Minghao when you noticed how Dani and Soonyoung had clicked. You had to ignore what just happened a while ago with him because you saw a spark between your best friend and this guy.

The current bar was pretty chill, but you wanted Dani to have some fun and being the bestest friend that you are, now you were making a new plan and said to everyone, “I want to dance, we should go somewhere else.” Not that you had bad ideas, but that was the best one you had that night.

First, Minghao, Soonyoung, Dani, and you arrived at this new place. It was a garden full of warm lights, it had this energy that you haven't felt anywhere else. Music was flowing through you. It seemed like it was gonna be a good night.

The four of you started dancing, and it wasn’t long until Dani and Soonyoung only had eyes for each other. So now Minghao wanted to dance with you, but you weren’t feeling comfortable with that, not when you had just found out about all the history he has with Sara. Cue the “she’s like a sister to me”. I- never mind.

Luckily now, Wonwoo and Jihoon had arrived, and the latter stood next to you. You all kept dancing but then Minghao went who knows where, and you don’t know what the fuck started happening, everyone had disappeared then they came back? but they went who knows where again? You stopped caring about that because you were getting thirsty so you went to buy a bottle of water.

When you came back, now it was your turn to be teased by Jihoon and your drink choice. Maybe you deserved it at this point. But you offered everyone some water, and he was the only one to accept.

He kept asking you for water two more times. And by now you found all of this to be very amusing, you got close to him and stated “You know, I’m going to charge you for every sip you’ve had by now” You made him laugh and retorted “Good thing you don’t know where to contact me” just to finally smirk at you.

Everyone kept dancing and, oh my god, you weren’t wrong at all, Dani and Soonyoung are all over each other. They look strangely good together. And while admiring your work, Jihoon reached you to say in your ear “619-699-8642, remember it” You just looked into his eyes and said, “Okay.”

Unconsciously, you both started getting closer, and you suddenly forgot you were with more people. “So, what’s your number?” And by the time you gave him number by number, he replied, “I’ll remember it too.” That was followed by some heavy staring full of excitement. It has been the first time you felt this kind of urge to be so close to someone as if something kept pulling you together. There was nothing in your mind but the guy in front of you. You were feeling so warm inside.

“Take your phone out, let’s see how’s your memory” He grinned, and you just laughed, but you were so nervous, cause now he was standing right next to you, so close that if you turned to face him, your noses would practically be touching. As you were saving his number, you got one digit wrong, and he quickly took the phone out of your hands to correct it. You just stood there watching him while he finished setting up his contact and calling himself, so he could save yours too. did he think you would give him a fake number or something?

Then you weren’t paying attention at all but everyone else just randomly left, again. Except for Dani and Soonyoung, but they were probably less aware of what was happening around them, so it was just you and Jihoon.

He finally saw his chance and took your hand in his and pulled you closer. Now, every distance that was between your eyes and bodies had narrowed. His eyes were shifting from your lips to your eyes, and you were officially a mess inside.

This fuzzy feeling was only growing, and you couldn't believe how everything changed so fast. You weren't supposed to be doing this with him. You didn't like him. For all you knew he was an absolute jerk.

But tonight, it was just as if every force was dragging you to him, adrenaline was rushing through you. And he was just thinking how he was dying to press his lips against yours. Everything began so fast, and he finally allowed the magnetic pull to drag him towards you. Something he had felt since the start.

He slid his hand to your cheek, and you got even closer to him.

Your lips now parted, inviting him to just taste you, looking into his eyes, just begging him to do something. Finally, your lips touched. Nevermore certain that your soul lit up. His kiss was so eager and intimate in such a way that you were craving more. How could you ever live without his lips and the way his tongue was getting to know your mouth?

Feelings were getting so intense, both of you were consumed in the kiss, but now he had to get out of there with you, there was no way he wanted to keep this going in public. What if his friends came back to him kissing you? He pulled apart, his eyelids, and yours were half-closed, still processing what had just happened, and he pulled your hand again and whispered “follow me”. You walked and stopped at an empty parking lot.

It’s not as scary as you imagined, maybe being with Jihoon made you feel safe.

He was quick to press you into the closest wall, and you started kissing again because whatever this was, both of you wanted more. The two of you were so desperate, that in the split of a second, he was pulling your legs apart with his thigh. His hands now had a mind of their own and yanked you even closer to him. His palms were wandering in your curves and then started stroking your ass. Just as you were teasing his mouth with your tongue, he softly spanked you, and you took a hold of his shoulders because your knees went weak. You didn’t know you liked things to be somewhat rough, but right now, it felt like you were on cloud nine.

All you could do was let out this heavenly moan that made Jihoon want you even more and take you home as soon as possible.

With a different person, he would have given a second thought before even asking such a thing, but right now, he felt so attracted and at ease with you that the following words just came out.

“Do you want me to fuck you?” a voice full of lust that all you could think of was how hot he just sounded. You’ve never been in this situation before, you don’t even know what you’re supposed to say, your head was going into overdrive, Jihoon still peppering your jaw with kisses, and when you didn’t answer he simply asked leaving another kiss on the tip of your nose.

“Do you want us to go?” With this, you were finally coming back to your senses and told him, “I really can’t, I’m supposed to leave with my best friend” Your foreheads were resting on each other, both trying to make this moment last longer, his mouth just wandering near your ear giving you small kisses, and he figured he could still suggest “I think we should go out again sometime” he paused for a second “just you and me”

“I think we should”

As much as you didn’t want to, you had to return to your friends now. You started walking back and Jihoon stayed behind you. Seeing you from the back, simply walking like no one owned you. It made him reach for your hand and pull you closer, just for him to smack your ass unexpectedly for the second time tonight. It had you jumping a little. When you turned to face him and say something, he didn’t let you speak and just gave you another kiss. All you could manage to do was to smile at him and make your way back to where your friends were still at, who were now waiting for the two of you.

When you stepped inside again, you found Dani who was searching for you and as if you could read each other’s mind, you simply flashed her a shameless smile.

It wasn’t a big deal to you, but it is not as if you wanted all the guys there to know what happened a few moments ago. You weren’t counting on Minghao putting two and two together, but you guessed it was that obvious that something went down when they couldn’t find Jihoon or you. And he was pissed.

He knew he didn’t have the right to be like this, you’re not someone he could have dibs on. But he didn’t like where this was going. He knew Jihoon very well and especially knew how he was with his "flings". if you could call them that

You were so different from everyone, too good, and he didn’t want you involved with Jihoon, even if he were one of his best friends. But there was no way to stop things from happening, and now he was frustrated at the situation more than anything.

You took your phone out to see it was 5:00 a.m. now. Shit

You needed to go home now, and thankfully everyone was thinking the same thing. Jihoon took all of you home once again. The drive was so silent, and you didn’t know if it was because of some weird tension between all of you, or if you were all just tired.

Anyway, you were the first one to be dropped off, you thanked Jihoon, said your goodbyes to everyone else. Silently, you got into your house, so you wouldn’t wake up your parents or your sister. Some kind of divine force was taking care of you tonight that no one noticed you got home this late.

As you mustered up the energy to change into your pj’s, you started thinking how much you enjoyed this night. Daring to say that it was one of the best nights you’ve had so far. Suddenly, your phone lit up with a notification from Dani. “Jihoon just dropped me home,,, you and I NEED to talk ASAP” Oh yes we do. “YES, FIRST THING TOMORROW OR LATER(?) SJSKSH LOVE U GO TO SLEEP'' and like that you finally laid down in your bed, still thinking about Jihoon and that you were most definitely fucked. “This is gonna be messy” Was your final thought before you went to sleep.

Next Week

Why did your poor little brain think that he would reach out to you?

–Because he said so.

Oh my god, y/n. As if every guy always means what he says.

–But he didn’t say which day...

STOP, you were supposed to know better by now. And a week has already passed.

You tried not to put much thought into it anymore. Maybe it was just a one-time thing, and that’s okay too. Yes, you’re young, but that doesn’t mean you’ll wait for every person that crosses your path just because you’re attracted to them. You refuse to be hung up on something like this. So, you decided you’re going out this Saturday again.

Tonight you were by yourself. Dani had a date with someone and Sara went out with her friends from work. You texted the group chat of your friends from college to see if they were gonna go out, and Cheol was the only one that said he would go downtown. I suppose I can see him then. He’s a year older than you, and you’ve known him since middle school, too.

He's always been really fun to be with and lately, he’s been part of your night outs since you have the same friends. It’s safe to say that basically everyone knows everyone in this small ass town. Honestly, it has its pros and cons. But you can’t complain about that right now. You just want to go out for a while.

This night was very dull. You figured you could still have a good time, but you were seriously missing Dani and Sara. You might as well haven't gone out at all, cause Cheol was having fun with his friends, and you felt like you had become a bother to them.

That’s when you saw Jun. Again. And he had about the same look as you. Alone and bored. You were just considering going home a second ago. But fuck it. You got up and went to talk to him.

“Hello again, you” you greeted him with a smile. And he returned it “Hello to you too, I’ve been looking at you for a while” He looked at the ground and paused for a second, then he looked up, his eyebrow raised as he continued “I was wondering when you were gonna notice.”

PAUSE. He got you so flushed in roughly 10 seconds. He’s good at this. You thought. And unfortunately, this time he did notice how red you got at his words. You could only giggle, and he couldn’t get rid of his smile.

“Sorry, that was a nervous laugh” You tried to excuse yourself “… I- I don’t know how to answer that… ” and he found that adorable.

He never noticed how cute you were before until he got you this nervous. He hadn’t found the chance to get to know you properly and so far, he was liking your personality along with your incredibly cute face.

You asked him, “So… What are you doing here all alone?” He sighed and looked to his right, which made you look too, and you saw Soonyoung and some other guy you haven’t seen before. “I’m here with them, and I’ve been wanting to leave since hours ago, but they won’t listen to me, so…” he ended gesturing vaguely at the whole place.

Now it was his turn to ask you, “And what about you? Why aren’t you with Sara or your other friend?” You pouted and started playing with a napkin on his table “Aah they had other plans and I wanted to go out, but I’m not having that much fun actually” Junhui was hearing you intently, resting his chin on his hand when he chuckled. “Believe me… I saw” You wanted to laugh too but only managed to wince at his words, “Ughhh no, please tell me you didn’t see me be all this miserable… I was literally about to leave.”

Mhmm, maybe you shouldn’t have said that.

“Then why didn’t you?” This was going to get interesting. Jun thought. You couldn’t even get a word out of your mouth. You weren’t going to verbally accept that you’re staying because you saw him. Now your chin was resting in your hand, and you managed to shrug your shoulders. Your last ounce of confidence helped you to not lose eye contact with him. He smiled and followed with a question. “You want a drink?” That was the start of your night.

He took you to the karaoke across from there. You didn’t even say goodbye to Cheol, maybe that was a poor choice, but you also figured he wouldn’t care much. Besides, you were gonna be literally in front of him.

Now sitting at another table with Jun. He ordered your drink while you took in the atmosphere of people singing their hearts out. Hours passed, you kept talking, who knows about what, but the conversation kept flowing, you didn’t even finish your drink and couldn’t be bothered to order another, hanging out with him was that good. He suggested keep on talking outside because the weather was nice, and the moon was glowing beautifully.

You were having so much fun with someone you didn’t even imagine you’d spend your night with.

Jun was cute, you hadn’t got the chance to talk to him like this before, but this was the perfect night for you to get to know each other. He was a really sweet guy, particularly sweet to you, and you loved that about him.

It was getting kind of late now and your concerns ended up being a reality because Cheol was coming your way, and he seemed mad. “ARE YOU GOING TO STAY HERE WITH HIM?” You didn’t expect to hear him talk to you like this. You were stunned and turned to look at Jun, not knowing what to answer to a furious and possibly -very- drunk Cheol. Your voice came softly, “I’m sorry, Cheollie”.

He didn’t even hesitate when he let his anger roll through him. “I never want you to speak to me ever again”

Not in a million years, you thought you would hear those words come out of him, but you couldn’t do anything right now, that was already quite a scene, and you wouldn’t worsen things out.

Jun saw your shocked face and knew he couldn’t do anything about it either, so he hugged you and said, “It’s getting kinda cold” and you just laughed in his chest.

Nothing inside you told you that this was wrong. Nothing reminded you that he was Jihoon’s friend.

Jun kissed you on the top of your head like he knew how your mind wouldn’t shut up about the words your friend had just said to you. “Are you okay?” He asked while making you look at him. You brought your head up, confused. Confused that you were feeling more than okay in his arms. It was as if he knew what your eyes were saying to him and didn’t hesitate to waste any more time.

He decided then and there to kiss you.

And he started kissing you. Slowly. Taking his precious time to get to know your mouth, just like he got to know you tonight. By now, he proved to himself that there’s no other place he’d rather be. He was hoping you felt the same way as him, and you certainly did because his kiss made you forget the other lips your mouth has ever come across before. He laughed into your mouth. Which only made you smile like a child. Why was this guy so sweet? Being a hopeless romantic didn’t seem so bad now that you were living this exact moment. With him.

He kept kissing you. Your face now in his hands. Your hands wrapped in his neck. And he wasn’t planning on stopping, cause now he was pulling you closer at the waist, and it wasn’t until now that you felt fireworks bursting inside you. He inhaled your sighs. Unwilling to break the kiss. You couldn’t help but moan in his mouth. He wasn’t waiting for this to happen, he wanted to take his time with you because you’re the brightest thing he’s ever seen in his life.

But the way you were crumbling with a kiss made him want you so bad. His hands started making their way to your legs until they found the hem of your skirt, but couldn’t bring themselves to go further. He wanted to make it right. He stopped kissing you for a second to look into your eyes again. You both smiled, acting like you were the last ones on earth.

You couldn’t simply tell him “Do you know how long I’ve waited to meet someone like you?” you couldn’t let him know this, ever. But your lips could try. Losing yourself in him doesn’t sound so bad. Not when he was kissing you stupid. At this point, you swore you forgot how to count, and if he kept pressing his lips against yours like this, you wouldn’t be able to even remember your name.

The feeling was so surreal to you, your entire body was in flames because of the way he tasted. His entire being was hot, and it seemed like you didn’t need oxygen anymore, why weren’t you gasping for air? It’s been MINUTES since you started kissing.

Tonight, was the first kiss you shared, but somehow, he knew exactly what you liked. Grabbing your hips a little tighter every time you let out a soft moan. You loved the way he kissed you, and he loved the way you tasted. By now he knew that this thing between you was so magic that he felt shivers down his spine. He felt it would be better not to let go of you, but he knew he had to take you home.

He brought himself to hold you tenderly again, taking his lips to your forehead to lay a delicate, soft kiss. When you made eye contact again, he could see the warmest kind of love forming in your beautiful, gorgeous eyes. He listened to you say his name, and it took him less than a second to know that he wanted to keep you forever.

Tonight, you two were true believers that timing is everything.

But destiny/life/the world likes to have fun too. Jun still had you in his arms when you took out your phone to see the hour. 5:00 a.m. again. And to your surprise 30 minutes ago someone sent you a text.

You couldn’t believe that when you were experiencing the best kiss of your life, Jihoon decided to text you. At 4:00 a.m. WHAT THE FUCK. WHY NOW? WHY NOW WHEN I JUST MADE OUT WITH YOUR FRIEND YOU STUPID DUMBASS.

Nice y/n. You probably fucked up everything now.

But Jun didn’t have to know that now. You didn’t want to leave his side just like he didn’t want to leave yours. He wanted to take you home, so he took your hand in his and dragged you to the sidewalk to catch a cab. Guess you still had some luck left because you were already inside one in less than a minute.

Sitting in the back of the cab, the quiet of the dawn lulling you to sleep, you started to feel tired and only wanted to hide your face in Jun’s neck. He smells as good as he looks too. Not wanting to think about anything but him. He wrapped his arm around you and closed his eyes, trying to etch into his mind every single detail about you, your face, and this night.

A feeling came over you two that told you that this wouldn’t happen again. You had to make the most out of the couple of minutes you had left together, but your head inevitably went to think, “I know life isn’t fair. And of course, it was fun, I did have fun, but it starts to feel awful when all I have gotten lately are one-time things.”

You arrived at your house and all those warm feelings you had, immediately died down with the realization of Jun leaving. You perfectly knew you would keep seeing each other, only for life to almost forbid you to get a do-over of this amazing night.

You didn’t take in the possibility that he would strive to get you for months. But he didn’t quite know that he would sadly fail at it every time.

18 notes · View notes

syuga-s · 3 years

Text

destined to be strangers | when you met them

w.c 3.3k

pairing. Minghao x gn!reader

genre. coming of age, fluff, a dash of angst

a/n. it's finally the official first chapter of my svt series <3 it'll be so messy istg,, nonetheless I hope you get to find some comfort in this fic, maybe you found it when you're missing someone, maybe your heart is hurting rn, maybe you feel like you're exploding with love, maybe you're ready to find love, and I don't want to fall in the cliché but you're not alone (ღ˘⌣˘ღ) I want you to enjoy this journey w me so whatever pops into your mind just let me know!!

(I hope there are no t/w but if i missed some pls tell me)

NEXT CHAPTER

Minghao was the first one in the group that you officially met. You held hands once and according to him, you were breathtaking. He felt an immense amount of peace just by holding your hand and convinced himself that he would never want to let go of you ever again.

6 years ago

Seventeen feels like the perfect age. Not naive like sixteen. You still don’t feel the pressure of daunting adulthood like when you're eighteen. Just plain and simple, seventeen.

Dani and Sara have been your best friends since you were 13 years old. You’ve gone through everything together, and now it’s time that you enjoy being teenagers. You’ve already gone out a few times, mostly to house parties with high school friends, but now you were invited to Wonwoo’s birthday party. Sara’s older brother.

Of course, you knew Wonwoo. Well, you’ve never been in the same place as him, but you obviously knew your best friend had an older brother. Sara has always told you how cool he is, by that you always imagined they had to have the perfect brother and sister relationship. Doing the math you guess he’s in college. You also knew he had a girlfriend. But that was about it.

The party was in the girlfriend's house, and you were somewhat excited cause this is the first time you’re going to hang out with college guys but baby steps, you need to get ready first.

While you were looking through your closet you got a text from Chan.

And it’s not like you’re annoyed but, weren’t we already done with this?

When you met him, you were going through your ""first heartbreak"" and he changed a lot of things for you. He made you want to be happier again. We could give him some actual credit because he achieved it. He got you laughing again and you started to feel like you could be yourself once again.

There’s just one little problem. He didn’t make you feel butterflies. That’s when you got scared that he would want something else when you were only looking for a friend. Scared that eventually, he’d stop talking to you. But maybe, just maybe you’ve considered dating him.

To be honest, being with Chan was difficult. You were positive that you didn’t want anything with him since the start. You were in the process of forgetting the boy who broke your heart. But boys never want to be “just friends”. You were still in love with Seungkwan at that time. And when Chan came into your life, he made you go through a lot of stuff, and not in a good way.

You still care for him, he’s still someone important in your life, but his efforts were never the ones that made you fall in love with him. You know he cares deeply about you, and you’re thankful for this. But we know that’s not enough for a relationship.

The last time he made you cry was on your birthday. To say that you were stressed about his behavior is an understatement. He chose chaos since he woke up, and you didn’t have the time nor the energy to talk through his feelings this specific day. You were busy getting everything ready for your party. Plus it was your birthday. Why is he getting mad at you on your birthday? You remember well that it was 1:00 pm when he texted you,

“I won’t be coming to your party” Wow, okay then.

Why did he feel that he had the right to be upset today? At the end of his tantrum, he ended showing up at your front door. He brought a bunch of his friends and immediately started drinking as if getting blind drunk was the only reason he was at your house.

It was entertaining to look at him from afar. Seeing him talk to everyone but you and even telling your friends that you didn’t love him back. Now suddenly everyone in your party knew what a 'bitch' you were to him.

And the funny thing about alcohol is that it betrays you really fast cause now he was there in front of you begging to talk to you.

You took him out to the balcony to get some air to see if he would sober up, sat him right next to you, and gave him your cup of water. You kept your hands in your lap while lost in thought, trying to keep calm and appreciate the night sky, but now your hands started to feel watery,

Huh?

Well, now we have one Chan crying in your hands, and you didn’t know what to do. “Hey, hey it’s okay, you don’t need to cry” you tried to reassure him while rubbing his back.

“I’M SOS SORRY FOR EVERYTHING I LOVE YOU I’M SORRY REALLY FORGIVE ME I- I KNOW 'S YOUR DAY”

It was frustrating. You also felt like it was all your fault. But this isn't the time to be thinking about all this. The guy in your lap won’t stop crying and this isn't the worst part yet because while you're thinking what to do next… he threw up on you. Yes, on you.

Now all you could do was to quietly scream to his friends and tell them to take care of him and just leave.

You told everyone to leave.

How did this happen? No one was there for you, Dani and Sara had left at some point to another party, never knew why.

Not even Jeonghan, your best friend, could be there for you. But happy birthday, I guess.

The next day you were honestly tired of everything, tired of his apologies, of listening “y/n I love you” “you’re so different from everyone else” “I’m always here for you” “why can’t you love me the way I love you?” over and over again.

You seriously can’t expect that everyone will love you the exact way you want them to, and certainly not at this age where we're dumb and know absolutely nothing about relationships. Yet, it doesn’t mean that they don’t love you. Why has that always been so hard for Chan to understand?

“You make me feel like I can’t do anything right for you. As if I’m not enough. The thing is you’re not for me, and I’m not for you. There’s someone out there that won’t be hard to love, that won’t feel like a challenge, and will simply make love seem easier. Chan, you know that with me, it’s not like that”.

At least that’s what you wanted to tell him.

That you didn’t want to be in a relationship just for him to make you cry when he feels like being rude to you, that he never understood what you meant that one time you told him that he hurts you with his actions. That you didn’t want to feel insecure every time you'll want to talk about your feelings because of fear of how he’ll react. That’s not healthy.

So, Chan and you came to an end. sUre, Something that hadn’t even started in the first place. But yeah, there are days you miss him. Today you hate him.

And his text wasn’t even an important one, it just said “Hey”. I don’t have time for this now, you thought.

Finally, after overthinking every single detail of your outfit, you got ready to go and went to the location Sara’s brother had sent you. Yes, Wonwoo himself sent you the address. don't be weird about it The location marked 30 minutes away, something you considered quite far, but tonight something like that didn't matter, this would be a different night. But how could you ignore the fact that when you got there, the neighborhood felt kinda sketchy? You quietly mumbled, “Thank god I don't have a car”.

You called Sara, so she would come outside to get you. Because as expected, you didn't know a single person in there and Dani was running late. But right, here's the fun of it all, getting to know people while you're here, also alcohol.

I mean you're only seventeen once, you might as well act like it. Tonight you get to be free of the anxious, stressed, overly responsible version of you.

Tonight you're just.. you.

After an hour Dani finally got there and brought her half-sister, you ran to hug them and started talking about what took them so long. They were in a café and ran late. You pouted “why didn't you take me??? I could've used a latte before I got here you so-called best friend.” Dani only laughed because she didn't want to say anything in front of her sister and Sara. Minutes later she hugged you again and whispered in your ear “You know that when we go out it's better if it's just you and me so shut up.”

And you giggled because it's true. Even though it's always been the three of you, Dani’s the kind of friend that’s always been there for you, she gives you the best advice, she makes you laugh all the time. You’ve always supported her through everything, the both of you have stayed with the other after all the bad times. She’s your main person.

It's not like Sara's not your best friend, but there was one time that she told you –totally out of the blue– that it seemed that you were a two-faced person. (what?) To be honest, you could never forget that.

Yet after all these years and after growing up together, you can safely say you love her very much when you're together, you have so much fun, you’re awed by how she’s able to make friends so easily. When you talk about life you both feel understood, being friends with her feels natural. Plus you’ve always had the same taste in music.

The party was getting crowded and now Sara wanted to play beer pong. You never understood how both Dani and Sara were always crazy to play that at every. single. party. Of course, it's because they were extremely good at it.

In your opinion, that game wasn't a big deal, but maybe that's because you weren't that good. But yeah, this time you got to play with Sara, and you're going to brag cause you were playing kinda good tonight. If the three wins in a row couldn't tell, I don't know what else would.

At this point, everything was exciting because you had started to talk with Wonwoo's friends, thanks to Sara being the baby sister and the ace at beer pong. All the guys you've played against said they let you both win all the rounds so you “two babies” wouldn't get drunk. right

That’s when Minghao came around.

This tall, cute dude. “He’s so cool oh my god. He's the coolest guy we’ve ever seen. DON’T STARE. BUT KEEP LOOKING” was all your head was saying. And now he was approaching you. Please no. “Terrible moment to be this person who can’t do small talk” Now your mind can't shut up. You’re gonna malfunction in front of him any second now.

But he turned out to be the nicest guy you’ve met. You didn’t expect this. His energy was so fun but at the same time quiet. You two just started talking about how you knew Sara, and him being one of Wonwoo's best friends, told you that she was also like a little sister to him.

He had already met Dani before and now wondered how he didn't get to meet you before. So, that's what he did, try to get to know you now that he had the chance.

Minutes passed, and now he was showing you his beer pong tricks. And it was so endearing, watching him get all focused on his throws, with the excuse of “properly teaching you his technique”. By now, you weren't even drinking, you two got wrapped in your world, getting to know each other. But that didn't last long.

You hadn't noticed that there was no one else in the yard anymore until Minghao pointed it out. So, you got inside the house and got welcomed to the weirdest vibe. Some guys were on a couch just watching everything unfold, others were trying to calm down the situation, while some were just eating. And then you noticed that Sara was having –what it seemed– like a serious conversation with her brother. When Minghao caught sight of this, he went straight to them.

Dani was just getting back inside the house cause her sister had to leave early, so you went to her and sat on the empty couch. “What happened here? Why does everything feel weird? And is Wonwoo okay?” you quietly asked your best friend, still glancing at your other best friend.

Dani started explaining. “I'm not sure, but I think I heard that something happened between Wonwoo's girlfriend and his best friend Jihoon” yikes.

You recognized the girlfriend because who else would be crying in the kitchen with her friends around her? Now Jihoon is someone that you had yet to identify, so naturally, you had to ask. You appreciated that Dani knew everyone in here. One of her many talents in life.

“So, who IS this Jihoon? He sounds awful” sorry but we need to know all the details in this drama

“He’s there on the couch with the other dude, Jihoon's the one with glasses that looks all gloomy, the other is Junhui and yeah, I really can't believe that someone would do that, poor Wonwoo, look at him” and you both discreetly turned to see his face.

Wonwoo looked pissed and hurt, with every right to be. In what world does your best friend even think about doing that to you? On your birthday? At your girlfriend’s house? WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND???

You don't like this Jihoon. At all.

The party had officially died. You were bored and wanted to leave now. Everyone was drunk, weird or crying, just plain uncomfortable. You tried to get Sara’s attention but the apologetic stare she just gave you made you understand that she couldn't leave her brother’s side.

However, Minghao had caught a glimpse of this and decided this was his last chance to spend more time with you before you left. His plan was made in roughly 3 seconds.

Taking into account that you told him earlier where you lived, he was going to offer you a ride home. Well, not in his car, it was Jihoon’s car. So, now all that's left to do is to make some quick introductions.

It wasn’t as if Minghao was in the best state to keep his cool and friendly side, considering what had happened between his two best friends, but Jihoon was still his ride, he could be angry at him tomorrow or later but not while you’re here.

“Hey you two,” he said as he was sitting in the arm of the couch both Dani and you were on. “Are you already planning to go?”

“Yeah, actually we were just waiting to see if we could talk with Sara, but I guess that’s not going to happen” Dani answered and somehow ended up in an awkward laugh from all three of you. “Right erm… don’t leave yet, just give me 5 minutes, I just want you to meet my friends over there.”

Oh. no. You don’t want to meet these guys. Well, the tall one doesn’t seem so bad but still. Fuck. There’s nothing you can do now, you’re already there getting introduced to them, just smile, he said just 5 minutes, you can keep it cool. They’re cute up close, shit.

“So, Jihoon” –Minghao started to get his plan on track– “I think we should all go. It’s kinda late already”

god everyone is so tense

Jihoon hadn’t even made eye contact with you, but whatever it’s not like you care. And actually, Junhui’s very nice, he’s good at making small talk and his smile is so pretty.

Jihoon started speaking “Uhh- I guess let’s go then, it’s not like we’re doing anything anymore so…” his tone was ice-cold. Can’t figure if he’s just rude or drunk or something entirely different. “Nice meeting you both,” he said, looking straight at you for a second. He got up immediately and Junhui followed him. Minghao almost shouted at you, “Do you have a ride home?”

“Oh we’re gonna take a cab so no need to worry about it.” you smiled at him as you stood up.

Minghao turned to Jihoon “Hey can we take them to their homes? We all practically live next to each other.” Jihoon seemed hesitant but the look Minghao gave him, shortly had him saying “Sure, let’s go.” After all, it was his last chance to do something right tonight.

Dani and you waved and sent goodbye kisses to Sara. You figured you could talk about everything tomorrow. Wonwoo turned his head to see who Sara was waving to, and you waved him goodbye too with an “I’m sorry” smile, and he understood because he returned it with a “Don’t worry” one.

What a weird night.

Dani, you and Minghao got into the back seat of Jihoon’s car, in that order. Junhui was in the front, still making conversation about everything. You suppose he’s being a good friend, trying not to make everyone think about what happened a few hours ago.

And now you’re 100 percent sure Jihoon is beyond drunk because he’s driving erratically. how did they let him drive in this state? You started getting nervous.

It’s not crazy to say that Minghao had sensed that you were feeling anxious, and he didn’t hesitate to grab your hand for comfort. His comfort mostly. Or maybe he just found the perfect excuse to take your hand in his. You quickly turned to him, and he just flashed you a cute smile. Then you looked down to see how your hands were intertwined, and he just held you tighter. He made you feel like everything was going to be okay.

Now you had stopped at a red light and noticed you were getting closer to Dani’s home.

Only God knows what came over you, the fact that you were in the middle of the car wasn’t helping either.

You reached out to tap Jihoon’s shoulder and got closer just for him to hear “Are you okay? We’re not in a rush you know?” Finishing with a cute smile. He didn’t get a chance to answer you cause the light turned green, but he felt calmer now. No one saw how you made him smile with a simple question.

You finally got to Dani’s house and said goodbye to the guys. Just as you were getting out of the car, Jihoon asked you specifically “Aren’t we going to get you home too?” You grinned and said, “Oh no, I’m staying here tonight with Dani”. His tone was still cold, but his words made you think he was somewhat friendly towards you. ”Are you sure? I don’t mind taking you” It was amusing how everyone in the car was looking at you expectantly, “Yes I’m sureee it’s already late you should get home”

And like that you and Dani got inside, the clock marking 3:00 am. Oh, so it’s late late.

You hadn’t noticed how sleepy you were until you got in bed and collapsed, Dani didn’t even change, and you didn’t remove your makeup. You also didn’t get the chance to see how the four boys you met tonight had added you on Facebook and followed you on Instagram.

Soon life will start to seem entirely different, exciting, and worthwhile. You can begin to hope to get rid of this lost feeling you’ve had all your life.

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syuga-s · 3 years

Text

As long as we are together, even the endless maze is paradise.

w.c 1.8k

pairing. Changkyun x gn!reader

genre. fluff, still dont know how to classify it but it’s my take on relationships in real life(?)

a/n. mention of svt members <3, this takes place on the universe(?) of the fic i have in progress, got excited and went for this lil scenario, i'll always try to make them as gender-neutral as possible, hope you enjoy (• ε •)

You finally had gotten off work. This shift had been unbelievably chaotic and you couldn’t wait any longer to get home. But of course, it’s raining, today of all days.

Adding the fact that Chloe’s been extremely unpleasant today. You’ve been on bad terms for a while now since she found out about you and Vernon.

You clocked out at the same time and she just wanted to get on your nerves. But you were past being this immature, especially when it came to a guy you haven’t seen since you graduated.

"Just go already, Chloe".

With that, you went to exit the building and that's when you saw Minghao waiting for a cab –in the rain–.

You tried to get Minghao's attention, so he could get inside with you but you both just ended up at the door frame barely safe from the rain. You hugged even though he was soaking.

You didn’t mind because you haven't seen him in years, and you didn't know you missed the way you felt when you were with him. Strangely so, his hug felt like being 17 again. Can’t tell if it’s a good or bad thing.

You made some small talk about the weather and teased him for standing in the rain. “Are you shooting a music video or something?”

He laughed but quickly changed the subject, "I hope you've been good, I haven't seen you in years but you look really happy".

How can he still be this good at reading me? You could only smile to the ground and gave him a side hug. "I've really missed you Hao; hope you’re doing well too".

Suddenly, his phone started to ring, and you caught a glimpse of the screen before he asked you "Mind if I answer?" Wonwoo was calling him. "Not at all, go ahead!" You told him with a smile.

Not to be nosy but you wanted to hear this conversation. "I've been waiting for you to pick me up for almost an hour dumbass, are you aware that it's fucking RAINING?"

And of course, you couldn't hear the other person on the line, but you knew perfectly he must've been making a hell of an excuse. "Right, yes, I'm still here, no I'm not alone… just hurry I'm freezing".

Guess it was inevitable that you'll see Wonwoo in a few minutes.

You broke up more than three years ago and haven't seen him since then. You’re more than ready to rip the band-aid. You didn't exactly end on bad terms, but maybe some awkwardness is still laying in there. Actually, you haven't thought about him in a while. You started to wonder how has he been all this time.

"I thought you were waiting for a cab Hao!! I can still give you a ride if you want"

"Aw y/n no, don't worry about it, I'm going out with the guys, so I'll have to take you up on that offer another time"

"Alright then, you have to promise me we'll catch up soon, it’s been too long”.

It was as if the world was telling you to wrap it up because you saw a very familiar car approaching the street, and immediately your phone started ringing too.

You saw that it was almost 9:00 P.M. Changkyun hasn't got here? You signaled Minghao that you were going to answer your phone and got inside the building again.

"Hi my baby!!! I'm sorry for running late the guys got me caught up at work BUT I AM ALREADY ON THE WAY I'LL SEE YOU IN LITERALLY TWO MINUTES"

You could hear how worried your boyfriend was and it was so endearing that you couldn't help but laugh at the way he was screaming in the car.

"It's okay baby I ran into someone here at work too, I got distracted and didn't notice the time, but please DRIVE SAFE IT’S RAINING BUT ALSO hurry upppp” You ended up with a pout as if he could see your expression.

"I'm hurrying I swear!!! —YES — your man has arrived at the destination". “Ok, ‘my man’ needs to come get me please” he made you laugh at his words. “I'm here at the door BYE"

With that, you went outside again, and you couldn't have imagined that you would see all these guys in front of you EVER AGAIN. Nor that they would get out of the car just to say hello to you. But maybe that's your mistake cause they have always been friends, still after everything that happened.

So, there they were, Wonwoo, Jihoon, Chan, Jun, and Minghao. All eyes on you, all of them waiting for the other to talk to you first, but everyone noticed how your eyes immediately went to Wonwoo and you both smiled at each other. Jihoon was happy that you made eye contact with him, even though he noticed there was nothing for him behind your eyes.

You were the first one to talk.

"Hey there you guys, Hao told me you were going out!" You said while looking at Chan. "Yeah, we're headed to the Lucky 94!!"

"Want to join us?" You heard Jun ask, and before you could say no, your knight in shining armor shouted your name. "BABYYYY!!" Yes, your official name is baby, what about it?

All of you turned to the left side of the street where Changkyun was power walking to you. It came as a surprise to all of them, no one knew you were in a relationship at the moment, but after all these years they should've known, they knew how private you were about your entire life.

When Changkyun got by your side he just wrapped his hand in yours and flashed all the guys in front of him one of his prettiest smiles. As if he didn't look threatening as fuck.

Your love for him was only growing by the second. "Guys this is my boyfriend Changkyun, unfortunately, I have to deny your offer tonight because we already have plans, but I hope we see each other again soon!”

"It's okay y/n we can plan something another time, you look really good by the way" Wonwoo finally spoke and Changkyun tightened his grip on you.

"Thank you Wonwoo, have fun tonight. It was nice to see all of you" Having said this, your eyes landed on Jihoon, who was now leaning against the car, ready to get away from there.

Maybe at another point in your life, you would've sensed something negative by seeing him in this circumstance. But all you could find inside you was a trace of the love you had for him when you were a teenager.

You quickly decided that you wouldn’t give him this space in your head. Neither of you deserved to revisit those feelings that you already went through years ago.

Especially now when you have this wonderful person by your side, it wasn't a coincidence that he got there at this exact moment. Making you appreciate the little things he does for you that say, “I’m here, and I care so deeply about you”. Your life with Changkyun has intertwined so profoundly that everything comes easy with him.

You all said your goodbyes, and you started walking to the parking lot. You got to your boyfriend’s car, but you didn’t get inside just yet, Changkyun stared at you and your eyes told him everything he needed to know. Your boyfriend swiftly wrapped you up in a much-needed hug.

Since he called you, he knew something was going on, he has gotten good at sensing the way you were feeling. In moments like this, you were happy to know that his heart was as invested in you as you were with him. He softly spoke in your ear “Let’s get inside baby, it’s cold as hell in here”.

He opened your door, and you waited for him to get inside. You searched for his embrace once again, his arms made you feel so at home that you were glad he came to get you tonight, and you had to let him know this. “Today was hard,” You said, still clinging to his arms, not minding the incredibly uncomfortable pose you got yourself into just so you could be hugged by your boyfriend for a few more minutes. “Thanks for picking me up tonight”

“You know that I would come for you every day if you just let me, you stubborn baby” You laughed against his chest and gave him a light punch at this arm. “Hey, hey let’s not get violent in here, I’m sensitive,” He told you while laughing and ended up with a tender kiss to the top of your head.

You don’t know much, but you do know you love him. When he smiles like this, the world seems to fade away with all your problems, and he’s all you can see. Every time he’s singing in the car on your way home, the outside noise doesn’t even exist anymore. All you want to do is grab his face and kiss him, but that would mean he’d stop singing. And when he looks at you with those beautiful brown eyes, when he places his hand on yours, when he lets you rest your head in his chest, and listen to the beat of his heart, just his mere existence makes you believe that you found this little piece of heaven within him.

The love you were always searching for, you found it with him. No one else had been able to make you feel like you were bursting with love, and you always believed that that needed to happen for you to be in a relationship with someone. You always knew that love isn’t meant to be hard, nor it makes you lose the person that you are. For you, it was about sharing your souls, goals, and perspectives, cause when the time to be together would come, your lives would already be made, and you would just be together supporting each other, still maturing. And that this person would only make you feel safe, happy, and loved. Changkyun was your definition of love.

Your relationship with him made you further confirm this. You thought it would scare you to be vulnerable around him but opening your heart to him was one of the easiest things you’ve ever done. You’re aware you were complete without him. And he knew this. But being by his side, experiencing life with him, made you want to be so much better. You only wanted to support him every step of the way. It made you want to be stronger with him. You wanted both of you to grow together and help each other grow individually. And the fact that he was on the same page with you about this, knowing that you don’t need each other but you really fucking want to be together, makes you think you have a pretty great shot at this.

You know, undoubtedly, you are in love with this man. And it feels a hundred times better to know he loves you too.

#monsta x #i.m #im changkyun #changkyun #changkyun imagines #changkyun monsta x #changkyun fanfic #changkyun fluff #monsta x fluff #monsta x fanfic #monsta x oneshot #changkyun oneshot #changkyun scenarios

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syuga-s · 3 years

Text

I’m really excited bc I have two finished chapters of a series and i’m torn cause i’m mostly just doing it for the sake of writing all this story I came up with but I also want ppl to read it lmao

Wonwoo and Woozi are my main characters but we're talking about an ot13 fic, it's gonna be a whole ass ride 👹

#seventeen #svt #seventeen fanfic #seventeen au #svt fluff #svt angst #svt fanfic #svt ot13 #wonwoo x reader #woozi x reader

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syuga-s · 3 years

Text

The Last Time

w.c 4.3k

pairing. Jooheon x gn!reader

genre. angst, a little fluff maybe, idk how to classify it but it's my take on relationships in real life(?)

a/n. (warnings) I throw some curses here and there, mention of the word "sex" once, tried to make it as gender-neutral as possible, I could really use some help about t/w, feedback is more than welcome, hope you like the fic 🧍‍♀️

Once again you were at the same bar. With the same friends. Same music. Same drinks. It's safe to say that nothing's changed in here but you.

For some reason, you were awfully quiet tonight. Everyone was away from the table by now. All of them talking and dancing in groups.

You were regretting saying yes to going out the very moment Jasmine was at your front door. But your best friend really wanted to get you out of your house.

The thing is you weren’t going to be alone, all of your friends were tagging along. I guess I need to suck it up, maybe I could have fun, despite him.

And you really tried, there was no need to make a scene anymore. All of your friends have had their fair share of nights seeing you 'talk' with him and making things awkward for everyone. It's been a while, though. You haven't seen him in exactly 2 years.

How do I explain this? There's no resentment anymore, no hate for what happened between you. But when there's a choice between spending your Friday night at the same place as him or staying at home? Well...

But tonight was clearly different. Something (Jasmine) had dragged you here and to be quite honest, it hasn’t been half bad yet. Jasmine kept waiting for you to get up from your chair to come and chat with Jackson and Changkyun. Her all-time crush and his best friend.

"In a sec!! Just let me finish this drink!" You said while you showed her your glass. She quickly nodded and turned to keep talking with those two. You have to remember to thank them later for keeping her entertained because if it weren't for them cracking jokes every single second, she wouldn't have let you off the hook that easily.

Meanwhile, you decided to get a little lost in your head. Laughing to yourself because you were feeling like having a main character moment. Being the only one sat down in a place full of people. The mysterious persona drinking by themselves.

But that didn't last long.

"Mind if I sit here?" You shook your head. He put his drink next to yours and asked, "How are you?" And it somehow felt like you couldn’t have avoided this exact situation.

You released a breath that you didn't even know you were holding. "I'm sitting Jooheon, drinking… existing, you?" He forced himself to smile. Trying to hide the fact that he was still feeling uneasy around you. Nonetheless, showing you the dimples that you used to love so much.

“I can see that”, he paused, "it's been a lot since I last saw you, you look different".

You hummed softly, finally making eye contact with him. "So you expected for me to look the same?" You surely weren't going to pass up the opportunity to be passive-aggressive to him.

It still makes you happy to know that he has never minded this side of you.

"I'm teasing, I guess we both look different, it's been what? Two years?"

"I'm not sure, but it feels like a lot" He took a sip of his drink and started to fidget with the glass. Maybe you're not the only one that's changed after all.

In the two years, you were together, you never saw him like this. But let's remember the fact that you never fully knew him back then. It just feels weird to see him this anxious. Especially with you.

"I've wanted to reach out to you for a while now," You frowned at his words. "Guess I lacked a little courage" He let out an airy laugh. "I really want to talk to you".

Now it was your turn to feel tense. What is this supposed to mean? How long has he been wanting to talk? And talk about what?

You tilted your head and opened your mouth to ask him all this, but he didn't give you the chance to get the words out.

"Before you say something, please believe me I just wanna talk", "but not in here”.

"Alright then, where do you suggest we ‘talk’ Jooheon?” He took his phone out to check the time. 10:44 p.m. He pursed his lips and said, more like hesitating, "I could walk you home?"

You stared off into your group of friends. This was going to make their night interesting. Seeing you two go together again, just like all those times before.

Jooheon's been waiting for this since he saw on your social media that you were leaving the city. And Jasmine took care of letting him know that you would be coming back in about 6 months.

That was a year ago. More than 365 days waiting to be in the same room with you. Praying that you would let him talk to you. Not that you would reject him. But he was scared, he was perfectly aware he messed up everything.

As you were both saying goodbyes to your friends, you started to think about how everything had ended between you two.

You know what? Yes, maybe I was wrong in ghosting him but after all, I don't owe him anything. Just like he threw me out of his life two years ago. We didn't work out, he never communicated with me. He didn't choose me back. I just had to watch him get rid of me, no explanations, no nothing. And I find it really hard to believe that he's been dying to talk to me. What could be so important that he wants to have a proper conversation? How will I explain to him that I stopped replying for no particular reason? That I just realized that we weren't good together, and I had to let go of him? Should I tell him that no matter my hard feelings, I still thought about him constantly?

You had left each other in the cold back then.

He called your name, and you snapped back to reality. Didn't even realize you were already outside of the bar when he softly asked you, "aren't you cold?"

You smirked and told him "Well yeah, walking back home in this weather wasn't in my plans dummy, but I didn't bring a jacket though".

He used to be so attentive to you. One of the other things you used to love about him. Always concerned about you.

He simply put his jacket around you and started walking before you could complain about something as simple as this. Like you always did.

It feels nice to know that someone in this world knows you to this extent. The way you’ll react to simple things. How can you still love someone despite knowing that you don’t work together?

You realized he still has this jacket. It's the same one he gave me the first night we spent together. Why do I have to remember this now? Not fair. Maybe he wore it on purpose.

You gave a little run to catch him. Now that you were by his side, you were getting impatient, "Can you please start talking? I'm intrigued by all your seriousness".

You were kind of hating this feeling. Everything about him felt familiar. Suddenly, you wanted to cling your arm to his but thought twice about it.

He chuckled. "Well it's not super serious, I want us to have a nice conversation, you know?" You snorted at this, what does a nice talk mean?

"I can be nice, as long as you tell me WHAT you wanna talk about…", "come on Jooheon, just get to the point".

"Okay!! OKAY… I-" he took a deep breath and continued, "First of all, I want to apologize to you for everything, then I want us to talk about what happened between us if that's okay with you?"

You'd be lying if you didn't say that you wanted this to happen since you drew apart the first time. You always dreamt of having an adult conversation with him.

But the dream left your mind bit by bit. Just like your heart got itself back together after he left you, piece by piece.

Overwhelmed, you could only stare straight ahead into the street. He called your name again. Now your eyes were on his, and you could see his concerns. How his mind was going miles per hour, just like yours.

"I want to apologize too,” you smiled and finally let yourself link arms with him. “It’s gonna take us a while, isn’t it?”.

The walk to your apartment took around 15 minutes. The words you exchanged with Jooheon were kept to a minimum. You weren’t gonna get into the heavy stuff right there in the street.

When you finally arrived, you gave him back his jacket. It was gonna get uncomfortable to talk with him with a piece of clothing that made you remember too much.

“Want something to drink? I have a beer, wine, you name it”. He sat on your couch while you searched for something non-alcoholic in your little fridge. “A beer would be okay”.

You got yourself some water. Otherwise, your head would be fuzzy, and wouldn’t be able to tell him all you’ve had on your mind for years.

You handed him the bottle, and you took your seat on the carpet. Your mind wandered off to the last time he was in here.

When he told you goodnight and planted a soft kiss on your lips like he always did. You knew it wasn’t a simple ‘good night’, for you.

You remembered how your eyes followed him until he closed the door of your apartment.

He took a swig of his drink and by the time he put the bottle on your little coffee table, it made you realize he was sitting right there, in front of you.

Finally, gathering the courage to start telling you what was on his mind. “I never thought I’d get the chance to talk to you again”.

I didn’t think so, either. We both fucked up multiple times.

──────────────────────

You were never a couple. After 5 years, you never understood what had lacked between you. The desire was there. Now and then you had your moments of happiness. Usually on the weekends.

When you met, you weren’t looking for love or a serious relationship. At least one of you.

Jooheon was free, like the wind or like a bird. He flew back and forth and once in a while he needed to land somewhere for a while. Every so often he sought another fire, another bed, other arms that weren’t yours.

The time came when he made you feel a million things inside. Overwhelmed with words and emotions, mostly love. But also turmoil and maybe desperation.

It made you happy that he made you feel so much after being empty for months. You felt different with him. It was the kind of love you didn’t know you had in you. Didn’t even think it was possible to express about someone like this. Until him.

You didn’t need anyone else. You just needed Jooheon. Not only that, but you didn’t care for how long your love would last because you believed that the meaning of the word love was what you had built together.

A few hours together. Every so often the whole night.

But when the morning came, the nightmare started to take form. Texts at inappropriate hours, and even unanswered messages.

You started thinking that you didn’t know better. You started feeling insecure. Replaceable. Maybe he knows better than to be with me.

Desperate to know what you had. But afraid that you would ruin everything with the words “What are we?”.

Tried to convince yourself that all of this was okay. That it was a good thing that you were going slow, giving him the chance to open up to you.

Months kept passing and your trust in him was running thin. He made you feel weird on the daily. Wondering if he was seeing someone else. If he danced with someone tonight. Had they kissed? Is he having sex with someone who isn’t me? What if he’s tired of me?

You wanted to be with him, but It was starting to hurt.

I hate that when I try to get myself to think that I don’t like you anymore… you do these little things that make me love you.

When you were together, he treated you like there was no one else for him. His hand was always wrapped up in yours. Talking until dawn, about college, his family, and your relationship. Those times, you couldn’t lie to yourself about your feelings.

He was the only face you could see in the world. The only guy you’ve ever wanted to keep around. But how did we get to this point?

The day you told him you were starting to fall in love with him, all he could reply was, “I don’t know what to say, I never thought you would be in love with me”.

“That’s all you have to say?”

“Well what do you want me to say? You took me by surprise”.

“You could tell me how you feel. I’m not expecting for you to tell me you love me back, I-“

There’s no return now, you have to keep talking.

“I’m just tired of not knowing what’s in your head, I’m not sure if you want to have something with me anymore, it’s okay if you don’t so, just be honest with me”.

“I like you”. You stayed quiet after hearing this, urging him to tell you more than just three words.

“I mean, of course, I’m attracted to you”.

At that moment, you liked what you heard. But the more you thought about it, you realized that he didn’t actually care for you, or loved you. Maybe that was a greedy thought from you. Maybe you expected too much.

You were angry but mostly angry at yourself.

Why are you still waiting for him? It's been years and nothing has happened between you. Nothing ever will at this point.

You ended up telling him not to bother you again, that if this was his way of ‘loving’ you, you were better off without it.

But that was a lie, you longed for your phone to show his name, even if it was at 5 A.M. Still thinking that there was no other way to love someone.

Unable to put an end to it, months kept passing and nothing changed between you. Jooheon had many others, and you only had him.

You loved spending nights like this by his side, watching him sleep, wondering for hours about you two. Unable to explain how you could love him this much.

Maybe he did love you, but you can’t handle this kind of love anymore. It’s better for both of you to end this, whatever it was because it's driving you crazy. And you meant it this time.

Jooheon told you goodnight and planted a soft kiss on your lips like he always did.

You knew it wasn’t a simple ‘good night’ for you, this was the last time you were gonna let him in. Your eyes followed him until he closed the door of your apartment. Fighting back your tears while softly saying to yourself, “I’m always going to love you…”.

The texts at 5 A.M. came again, but this time there was no answer. Jooheon started calling and sending texts for days, but you didn’t reply. All your efforts in disappearing from him on social media weren’t stopping him.

He met someone else, yet the texts wouldn’t stop. Until one day they did.

Now and then your curiosity would get the best of you and you would see his Instagram stories with her. An older girl you had met once. They were supposed to be friends.

You wanted to avoid comparing yourself to her but, he never posted something with you. It’s a dumb thing to worry about, but it’s one of those things that sometimes matter.

You tried to understand the whole situation. Accept the fact that you two weren’t meant to be. That he didn’t see a future with you.

Your days stopped revolving around him. You focused your time on getting your degree, learning another language, going out with your friends. Even tried meeting new people.

There were a few here and there. No one was enough for you.

Your ideas of love and relationships were different now. You gave another meaning to the word love. You wanted to find someone who would love you and take care of you. A quiet kind of love, real love.

What you had with Jooheon, was something you never wanted to experience again. Days went by, even months until you saw each other once more; for the first time in Jooheon’s life, he felt a knot in his stomach, he knew he lost you, for good this time.

Months passed and Jooheon left his girlfriend. He now felt different because he looked for you in everyone, yet he couldn’t find you, and he felt empty.

He cursed himself a thousand times for not knowing how to appreciate you and the love you gave him for two whole years. Tears finally fell from his eyes, he couldn’t believe he was crying for someone, crying for love, crying for you.

He took his phone out, swallowed hard, and started typing another text.

“I miss you, and I need you with me now and always, I never thought I would say this, but I’m not happy without you. Maybe I should’ve loved you less and loved you better, I just want you to know that I’ll always be waiting for you my sweet y/n…”

But the message was never delivered. You had changed your number.

It made sense that you would do that someday. It’s been too long, but this didn’t stop him from sending you texts in the middle of the night. When he felt the overwhelming need to have his arms wrapped around you.

──────────────────────

I still love you

(9:05 p.m.)

no, I don’t

(9:06 p.m.)

I’m confused why did this happen

(2:26 a.m.)

I want you to be happy, if this is what it takes then I’m okay with it. be happy. for me. please.

(10:45 a.m.)

I kind of hate you for changing your number

(8:57 p.m.)

I’m sorry

(1:43 a.m.)

maybe if I wasn’t so fucked up this wouldn’t have happened

(3:37 a.m.)

why can’t things be like they were before

(10:13 a.m.)

please come back to me. I need you. You need me

(1:58 a.m.)

I still want you

(4:06 a.m.)

──────────────────────

The day you left town was the day he swore to himself to try his best to get another chance to talk to you, just once more. To make things right, not caring anymore about his pride. He just wanted to let you know everything he didn’t say when you were by his side.

That he was sorry that it took him too long to acknowledge he was wrong. That he knew he was a little too late and wishes that he could say something more meaningful than a simple “I want you back”.

──────────────────────

“I wonder why” You smirked at him.

The more you kept making eye contact, the more you realized you didn’t feel any kind of resentment anymore. You both had grown, and while you didn’t actually need this kind of closure, you figured this was the healthiest moment to do so.

His eyes were avoiding you now, his smile was still there, but you could tell he lost a bit of his confidence. “Okay, so I’m gonna talk first, please just hear me out. I want to rip the band-aid,” He said with a forced laugh.

“I don’t know why I could never tell you that love scares me. That it scares me to be attached to someone”. His tone was soft now.

“I still play in my head the day you told me you were falling in love with me. I couldn’t bring myself to tell you not to tell me those things because you could have changed your mind any moment”.

“I never told you how I felt one of the many nights you spent with me. You were stroking my hair and I seriously felt like crying because I was fucking scared”.

“I was scared to lose you”.

“I’m sorry because I know I made you think I didn’t want you for something serious. I’m sorry for being immature”.

“I look at you now, and I’m happy to get to see you like this. You’re still everything I’ve ever wished for and more. You need to know that nothing compares to you”.

“And believe me, I don’t expect you to take my words as a way of asking you for another chance, I know I don’t deserve it… but I would really love it if you could let me show you I could love you better this time”.

You never imagined these words coming out of his mouth. Couldn’t believe how he was looking at you. Hopeful but understanding at your loss for words.

“Can I ask you one last thing?” His voice was barely audible, but you nodded at him.

“Well, maybe it’s not an actual question, but I’d like to know why you stopped talking to me”.

“Look Jooheon, I don’t know how everything I wanna say will come out, so please bear with me”.

You didn’t know where to start, either.

There were so many things to be said that you were getting nervous to start talking. Because once you opened your mouth, you didn’t know if you would be able to piece everything together.

“When everything ended I really wanted to hate you, everyone around me hated you,” you admitted to him, “except for me and I hated that”.

“I knew that all I could be able to do was cut you from my life, so I just decided to stop talking to you”.

It may sound harsh, but it’s the truth. “I admit it was a poor way of handling things, and I’m sorry for that”.

You’ve always been scared of having this type of conversation.

You let out a sigh because you never thought that the following words were gonna come out of your mouth, ever.

“I’ve only been in love once in my life, and that was when I was with you”.

“It used to frustrate me that I wasn’t able to make it work with anyone after you. I couldn’t help but compare everyone to you”.

“I swore to myself that I never wanted to go through the same thing we had, maybe because those memories are yours and I don't want anyone else messing that up, you made me feel so safe, I felt alive with you, nothing could stop me when I had you”.   “You've been the only one I've ever wanted to see every day, no matter the hour or how busy I was, I truly wanted everything with you”.

You hadn’t noticed how he had been looking at you this entire time. He couldn’t believe that you used to feel that way about him. Still couldn’t wrap his head around hearing you say how you loved him.

You quickly wiped a tiny little tear that escaped your eye, hoping we wouldn’t notice. But he did.

You let out a nervous laugh and said, “I’m not sad, I swear, It’s just that I never thought I would say all this out loud, especially to you”.

“You don't know how many times I wanted to call you, run to you”.

“Last year before I left I wanted to see you, I kept trying to convince myself that It didn't have to mean anything, that I was just desperate for any physical touch, but from time to time, I wonder if what I really needed was just you”.

He didn’t say anything. So you just said his name out loud. “Jooheon…” Followed by a long pause.

“I feel so different now”.

“When I was far away from you, I realized that I need someone who isn’t absent when it comes to me, someone that isn’t a ghost in my life”.

While you were talking, you were watching his every move and how he couldn’t stop playing with his rings. You’re still not used to seeing him act like this.

“At this point, I want someone who will take care of me, that makes me feel safe. Someone who wants to be with me because they love me, and they love to have me next to them. I’m beyond only spending the night over, I want whole days”.

You finally got up from the floor and sat next to Jooheon. Facing him, making him do the same. He kept looking at you for a whole minute but it felt like hours.

You didn’t know what to do after his following words.

“What I realized with being away from you is that I was pushing away what I’ve always wanted. I wasn’t confident that I could meet you where you were. I felt it would be better not to waste your time back then, but that was then, and this is now…”

You kept looking at each other a little too long. Both realizing you didn't need words anymore. The love was still there.

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