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you do not get to lay claim on the skills i learned from the trauma you caused

a sense of security often would snake itself around me anytime you made your presence known. you were a ray of sunshine in the dreary day. your smile could capture clueless strangers. your eyes had a way of inviting people in. you were this epitome of love. you were something i could write about for hours on end and still never grasp the true and raw you.

you were my excitement in life. you were my adventure. you were my favorite story to tell.

until we meet again, my love, i remind myself of how unique you made life.

“let’s stop with the sugar coating– instead pour a little tequila on it.”

–j. snipes

our love story isn’t one that is thrown into a romantic movie. our love story isn’t one full of clichés. our love story isn’t one many fall in love with.

our love story is one full of pain, healing, heartache, strength, resilience. our love story is ours alone. it may not be ideal. it may not be some fairy tale with love at first sight. it may not even be a love story in a sense.

but it’s ours.

we fought through it all. we fought like hell to survive our challenges and in the end we were rewarded each other. a compatible pair full of undying love.

i, well, i would take that over a basic love story anyway.

i don’t remember when i truly fell in love with you. i just remember the sudden realization that i didn’t want to live without you. while it would be 100% possible to continue being alive without you, i didn’t want to think of a future lacking your contagious laugh and toothy grin. i didn’t want to think about a life lacking the slight scrunch of your eyebrows when you were trying to figure something out. i remember looking at you gaze at the world around you not realizing you were slowly becoming the center of mine. the way you would subconsciously tap the beat of everything you heard. maybe it was the way you would always make sure others around you were content.

i also definitely remember when i started falling out of love. i could no longer make excuses for the explosion of your emotions. i could no longer go through the motions of simply breathing alongside of you. while i loved you immensely, i no longer was completely and stupidly in love with the person you had become. no longer were you recognizable to my heart. it was in that moment, i knew i could live without you, but a tiny, sliver of my heart would always carry your initials.

“an environment that you are complacent and content — is an environment that is not worth staying in. lack of challenges has never allowed someone to grow.”

- j. snipes

“darling, i would go through the pain a thousand more times just to encounter you. we may never work out in any of the lifetimes, but all i need is to see you smile.”

-j. snipes

“you were a temporary being in my endless thoughts because you proved to be unworthy to captivate such a mind”

–j. snipes