wait, wait, hold on. is this real— is standing and looking at something is illegal in usa— what . wh y it's not really "can you explain this to me because i'm banned at google" thing it's just me being so confused about capitalism for a minute my brain can't like. grasp. this, like i know it's evil but it's also so dumb? ? tf

like man doesn’t it fucking suck that there’s not really any public space. that you can’t go anywhere without spending money on food or transportation, that unless you wanna sit on a mall bench all day or browse library shelves you basically can’t do anything in public? even standing in front of a building without paying for something (“loitering”) is illegal. everything is built to punish homeless people which means if you ever want to sit down or rest or exist in public every building and park bench and windowsill is telling you to kill yourself instead. maybe that has something to do with the unpleasantness of online spaces, where everyone is shoved together into a giant digital chamber because it’s the only “public square” still available while also being isolated and alone in their room on their phone because everything sucks and a global pandemic is still happening. like I’m just saying I think that has more to do with how annoying people are on the internet than like mcu fanfiction

yes i can see it

'and i break down, then he's pullin me in' is giving robin taking nancys hand at the porch of creels house when she sees that nancy's scared

'in a world of boys he's a gentleman' i mean the whole season 4 was a world of boys for nancy with her little love triangle thing going on while robin hits different she's apart from all of this mess like he in song is apart from world of boys. and she's indeed a gentleman to nancy

and nance got love-struck in the hospital while robin was giving the speech like she literally blushed

so we're waiting for lovesick all over the bed moment in season 5 i guess

slut! by taylor swift is so ronance coded!!!! i mean not surprised cause taylor writes for ronance and she's a ronance shipper (she told me herself) (source: trust me bro)

And I break down, then he's pullin me in In a world of boys, he's a gentleman Got love-struck, went straight to my head (straight to my head) Got lovesick all over my bed (over my bed)

like do you see the vision where i'm going with here????? slut! being another ronance song like thank you taylor swift, i knew you'd pull through for the lesbians you always do

girls love to see mike getting vecna'd it's me. i'm girls.

i don't even know why i love it, it's not some sadistic intention for sure because mike's a really complex good character and a child, he doesn't deserve a torture and i like him although get pissed at him almost all the time.

maybe its something about an usually a bit of a shit person being too vulnerable for his comfort? like that might be the reason i liked steve too. apart from him going back to help nancy and jonathan (this thought actually helps me a lot, 'cause i have no clue why i love steve so much maybe until now.) but steve isn't— wasn't? a major character and didn't need too much time being hurted on screen for me to like him, like he got not much time on screen while being an asshole.

but mike did. and he is a main character, so he did it a lot . i don't say he owns me being vecna'd to be forgiven, but i feel like he really needs to be unwillingly vulnerable and weak and scared. he needs to shut his eyes tight in terror so he could see himself more clearly. because he don't and didn't for so long it's getting exhausting for his character arc.

so what i'm saying is i'm really excited for mike getting vecna'd duffers please do him good

Okay hear me out—Mike takes a turn watching Max at the hospital, and he accidentally falls asleep. He “wakes up” to the monitor beeping rapidly and then just flatlining. He’s screaming for help, but no one seems to be coming and all at once he realizes that it’s not Max on the bed, it’s Will. And then we just hear, “See, Michael? See what happens?”

hello we are friends now

hello yes absolutely we are

i wanna start making friends on tumblr how you're guys doing that.

does anyone have a black fan cast / dream cast, whatever, for hermione granger? that's an emergency guys

i randomly remembered that i love lavmione with my whole heart and i guess i have cast for lavender but i need hermione's ASAP

it seems so useful, i can't even. i did delay my sleep for like 4 times actually ( 5 more minutes and I'm going to bed, this time surely ) but now i'm gonna sleep and it won't be at 3 am, only at 2:20. aaaand i have no time for putting tags there or anything but i wanted to say thank you op, so ♡ thank you.

Tips for ADHD brains - 18/12/2022

Once again, this was going to be a Twitter post, but I have too much to fucking say. So have this.

!! Long Post /Edit: I realise I didn't do the little preface I wanted to do. You do not have to have ADHD to take this advice, it's for everyone. I'm not about to gaslight you out of doing something that might improve your life purely because you don't have ADHD or haven't been diagnosed. If you see something here that you want to use, use it. Some of this stuff isn't just ADHD related, it can be applied in other places. Also, I'm not a professional in any of this, I just live with it, and technically my diagnosis isn't official because all I've had is a doctor go "you have a very very high chance of having ADHD" and then she put me on a 3 year waiting list to find out if I actually have it. I told my therapist and she said to just live as though I have the official diagnosis, so that's what I'm doing. Have fun reading! / ---

1. Close your curtains at 4pm in the winter and use your room lights instead.

If you still need to do work and be active instead of having responsibility mode switch off on you, then do this. I started doing it this year and it helps me so much. For me, my "adult brain" switches off as soon as I realise it's getting dark. A lot of the time this means I stop doing house and university work and either take a nap or play videogames. I think my body goes "OH, NIGHT!" and immediately gets on that melatonin, and I don't want that. It means I'm losing like 10 hours from my productive day because those hours are now dark. I'm a university student, I still have shit to do. But if I see it's getting dark I stop having adult brain and switch into whiney child brain, and that's no good to me at 4pm because I'm still writing assignments and it's dinner in two hours. Since I started closing my curtains at 4pm and using my main light, I'm working and making dinner no problem, and I don't think about sleeping until I see it's 10:30 or 11pm. I also want to emphasise the use of your main light. I find that closing my curtains and turning on lamps and small lights really doesn't help me, I have to use my main bedroom light. Mine's a dimmer light that I have all the way down (which is still pretty bright, it's just not as intense) so if I am having a really hard time concentrating I put it on full brightness and that helps a lot as well.

2. Get an alarm clock with a sunrise feature.

I call them morning mode alarms, but it's the exact same thing. I had a goodmans one for about a year and I got up to the sound of birds tweeting (which was a sound option) at 6am with no issues every single morning. I absolutely loved it and plan on getting another one when I can because since mine broke I've been using my phone alarm and, while it wakes me up, I often don't get up. I usually just switch it off and roll over for another three hours. Having an alarm clock that slowly lights up a decent amount of your room in the ~hour before you actually need to wake up is so useful. The slow brightning of the light doesn't actually disturb your sleep, but when the alarm goes off (I find) you're ready to get up out of bed and start your day. It's especially helpful in the winter, since the sun doesn't rise for another two hours for me. I sleep with my curtains closed (mostly because of tip 1) and there's a small light I can switch on just above my bed, so my alarm will wake me up and I'll switch on that light and get out of bed to start my day. I don't usually think to open my curtains until I sit at my desk to eat breakfast about an hour and a half later, so the fact that it's dark out for most of my morning routine doesn't bother me, and I get to see the sky change colour over the top of my laptop while I answer emails, it's lovely.

Sub points: if you can't get a new alarm clock or find that this type doesn't work, there's other things you can do. My friend found they struggle to get up because their house is too cold in a morning, so they put their heating on a timer so their house is warm for when they wake up. I know someone else who has it so their coffee machine starts making coffee and it's ready for when their alarm goes off. Right now I have an alarm that goes off at 5am because in the hour between that alarm and my 6am wake up alarm I don't have enough time to get back to REM sleep so it's easier for me to get up. These are just tips and advice, you may need to tweak them for them to work for you, or they might not work for you at all, that's okay. They can, at the very least, serve as a basis for further research and can help you better understand how your brand of ADHD works.

3. Have blackout curtains in your bedroom.

Okay, it's weird that I've mentioned curtains twice before putting in this little tip, but it's here now so leave me alone. Blackout curtains are amazing, and I don't care what anyone says. I actually ended up with a pair completely by accident when I lived with my mum, it just so happens the curtains that matched my bedding only came in blackout variety, but now I will never go back. The curtains in my accommodation are blackout right now as well, and I'm actually upset at my accommodation because they're going to be switching these amazing curtains out for shitty roller blinds that block out as much light as a single strand of hair can. Not only will they help you with tip 1, but because they're blackout it means that the 4am sunrise won't disturb your sleep patterns in the summer. They keep a lot of heat in in the winter, while also blocking out a lot of heat in the summer, too. If you need a nap during the day you can just make it be night time in your room. I love them, get some, you shouldn't have anything other than blackout curtains if you can afford a pair.

4. Make boring tasks into short challenges.

I see a version of this hack everywhere. The typical one is "If you're finding it hard to do your dishes, challenge yourself to get them all done before the kettle/ pot of water on the stove finishes boiling". It's a good trick, and there's lots of variety to it! Any task that you don't need to closely monitor that draws to its own end can be used for this. Boiling water, laundry, food cooking, the bath filling up, ect ect ect. While those tasks are running, set yourself the challenge of getting as much of another task done as you can. It's especially good if both tasks happen in the same room and the "timer task" (the one that you don't need to closely monitor) has an ending sound to it. I'm someone who puts food on the hob that I don't really need to monitor, just stir every now and again, so I see if I can do my dishes before that's done. While the kettle boils I wipe down counter tops. While laundry's in I try to get some reading or writing done. I didn't actually know about this hack when I started those habits, it just sort of happened because I'm someone who does their dishes while my food is cooking because I was raised by a caterer and did catering at school, so that's what I grew up with. This naturally developed into "while this is doing it's thing, I'm going to busy myself with another thing". The laundry being paired with reading or writing is because I live in student accommodation and sometimes if I'm not there the second my clothes finish in the laundry room someone will move them, and I don't like that, so I took to sitting in the laundry room while my clothes were in the machines and I found it was the only time I had in the week where I could sit and read. Also, if the timer task isn't in the same room so you won't hear the task's end noise, or it just doesn't have an end noise, work out when it will end and set a timer on your phone, works just as well. I find it's a lot easier to do chores if they're helping me kill time while waiting for something, and the little challenege of seeing how much I can do in that short time span makes it so much more fun.

5. Don't force yourself to sit and do work until it's finished.

Not only can this lead to you thinking that getting food/ a drink upon the completion of your task is a reward rather than something you have to do to survive, but it can also negativly impact your work and mental health. If you're finding it hard to sit and work for long periods of time, then simply don't do that. You don't have to be sat at your desk for an entire hour, constantly working, for it to count. Once again, timers are your friend, here. If you want to do an hours work and simply cannot concentrate or are having difficulty staying on one task for that long, then cut up the hour. I don't mean cuts of working for 30 minutes, resting for 5, then doing another 30 minutes of work, either, the cutting up of your hour doesn't need to be clean. Just set a timer on your phone and do some work with it going for a while. When you find yourself getting tired, or annoyed, pause the timer and go do something else for a little while. Get up and walk around, have a stretch, get a snack, refill your drink, have a shower, do a puzzle (sudoku, crossword, wordsearch, word jumble, ect). It's important that you actually get up and move away from the work for your break, don't just switch tabs or close the books and push them aside because your brain needs to actually register that you're not working and that this is a rest. Switching to Twitter on the same screen you've been staring at for 10 minutes won't work as well as going to sit on your bed and scrolling on your phone for a bit. I try to keep screens out of it altogether, but you don't have to. Once the mental dust has settled and you feel ready to get back to it, set the timer going again and work until you once again feel you need a break. By the way, if your work is writing based, don't ever leave to take a break while a sentence isn't finished, or you might not remember what you were trying to say when you come back. Once you've registered you need a break, finish the sentence and take the break. You can take as many breaks as you need at any point while your timer is going, and it might take you 8 hours to complete that 1 hour of work, but you did a solid hour of work and that's an achievement. I would also pause the timer if you ever notice you've gotten distracted, then take a break. I like to add on a minute or two if that happens, but you don't really have to.

I do realise that this might not be a good way to work for some people, and that it may actually be counterproductive. There are some tips coming up that can be used with/ instead of this one, so just stick around. But if you find that this timer method doesn't work, but forcing yourself to sit for an hour does, I do have advice for that here. Minimise your distractions. There's an app called Forest that you can use that basically locks you out of your phone for however long you've set the timer for. You pick a plant (you start with two kinds, I believe, but you can unlock more), set the timer, and go. You have to kill that plant to use your phone, and you get a garden for the day that your plants, dead or not, will show up in. So you have to make the conscious decision to have this dead plant in your garden if you want to use your phone. If you set the timer for long enough you'll grow multiple plants. You can change around some settings so your plant doesn't die if your phone rings and things such as that, but it is basically just an app that can stop you from using your phone. It's also available as a Chrome extension and the accounts can be connected. I have to set a timer on my phone and my Chrome seperately for each of them to be going, but all the plants from both timers show in the garden. Also, the Chrome version will let you "allow" some sites. I have YouTube allowed because I listen to colour noise and music while I work. Also, colour noise is amazing for while I'm working. I put on 12 hours of brown, white and pink noise (there's a video on YouTube with all three playing) and play it quietly under a Lofi or ambience video, it really improves my concentration.

6. Body double someone if you're finding it hard to sit down and work.

Body doubling is a form of parallel play, and parallel play is when a person plays alongside or near others but does not play with them. So basically it's when you and your friend(s) hang out in a room but one of you is scrolling your phone, another's playing games, someone's reading, ect ect. You're hanging out, but your activities aren't the same. So the other person doesn't need to be working on the same thing as you, they don't even really need to be doing work (though I find it helps more if they are, or are doing a task that they need to actually concentrate on). I sometimes sneakily body double people by going to the library and sitting near a person/ group that is doing work quietly. Usually, though, I ask a friend to join me at the library so I can body double them. We sit together with our earphones in and do our own thing, and if my friends see me getting frustrated they can encourage me to take a short break. Likewise, if I get confused, they let me rubber duck them. Rubber ducking is a concept that programmers use when they need to work out bugs in their code. It states that they should read their program line-by-line to a rubber duck to figure out an issue, and this will often lead to them spotting the issue more easily. It doesn't just apply to programming, and you don't necessarily need a rubber duck (though I do have several and also use this method while alone to work out my grammar). Rubber ducking my body double helps a lot for me because I can't often properly translate what I want to say into a more professional form for my essay, and I often forget what word I want to use, so my friends can help me work it out. Very good for studying.

7. Stop saying "I'll do this at [exact:time]"

When your ADHD kicks in and you inevitably lose track of time and miss that exact time by a few minutes, you'll put it off until another exact time. We usually say that we'll start tasks on the hour or half hour marks, don't do that. They're very pretty times for getting things done, but if you keep putting off the task by 30-60 minutes and lose track of time multiple times, your day will be gone quickly and you won't have done the task. Instead, we can either make the exact times shorter by doing series of 5 minutes instead of series of 30 minutes, ex: "It's currently 6:02pm, I will start my task at 6:05", or we can set physical timers and say we will start our task when that timer ends. Again, I recommend the timer be 5 minutes or less. I also recommend setting the physical alarm over giving yourself another exact time that you might miss. For some reason our ADHD doesn't say "the exact time we said we'd do this has passed, so we better start", it instead says "the exact time we said we'd do this has passed and we didn't begin the task at that very specific time, we have missed the opportunity to start that task and now must wait until [new:exact:time]". The short timer on your phone means you aren't waiting for long enough to forget you're meant to be doing something soon (my ADHD is saying bet, but the point is there), you have something to encourage you to start, and the mentality of you needing to get something done hasn't yet left you. It also allows you to mentally prepare for the fact you're going to be starting a task, which helps you better transition from not doing a task to doing one.

8. Timers, timers, timers.

WITH DIFFERENT ALARM TONES. Different alarm tones are so important. And set a timer for everything you need to remember to do in your day if you feel you need to. I personally have an alarm for waking up, eating lunch, and eating dinner. My phone also has a wake up and go to bed function where a quiet notification pops up saying it's nearly time for bed at 11pm as I try to be in bed for 11:30pm. That quiet notification will get seen by me whenever I check my phone, and I'll then have it in my head that I need to slowly pack up whatever I'm doing and get ready to go to bed. My phone can also start playing sleep sounds if I choose, but I usually play rain sounds on my TV as it's next to my window and sounds more realistic. You might notice I didn't say I have an alarm for breakfast. I used to, but I decided to do away with it as it wasn't very useful to me and I used to try and force myself to get breakfast the second I woke up, which made me really nauseous. Eventually I realised that about 40-60 minutes after I woke up I would feel myself get hungry. When that happened it would be safe for me to eat without feeling sick, so I would make food and eat. So there's no more breakfast alarm for me because I can pay attention to that morning hunger as my mornings don't tend to have a lot happening in them as I wake up at 6am. Lunch and dinner have alarms because by that time I'm usually outside or doing tasks that require focus, so those alarms remind me of the time and tell me I need to eat. I know people who have alarms for more things, such as brushing their teeth, taking their meds, drinking water, ect, and that's fine! You set alarms as you feel you need them, and don't be afraid to add or subtract alarms depending on your needs. There are also apps that can serve as your alarms or reminders if that better suits you. Different alarm tones are important as the sound of the alarm will be the thing that reminds you of the task. If you just have named alarms that all have the same sound, they're easier to ignore because you can switch off an alarm without reading its label. However, if you have a specific sound for each alarm, then the sound will also serve as a reminder and the alarm doesn't just become an annoying noise, but something you associate with a need to do something specific. This is especially effective with food alarms as your brain will begin to associate that sound with a meal and you'll get hungry, so will be more likely to get up and eat, even if it's something small.

9. Store things visually.

I honestly had no idea what to call this hack, but this is sort of the best way to say it. People with ADHD don't have fantasic object permanence, so when we put things in drawers and behind doors and behind other items, we forget we have them. This can lead to us "losing" things a lot more, which can lead to a lot of frustration. Even having a closed wardrobe is irritating for me because I forget I have a bunch of clothes and end up wearing the same cycle of clothes for weeks on end because they're on my chair. At my mum's house I have a shelf with a rail hanging under it that acts as my wardrobe and when I first got it not only did I find that I was wearing more of my clothes, but I was actually putting my clothes away as well. Since I realised this I've been switching out anything I can't see through for storage. My wire and makeup boxes are both clear. So are my underwear drawers. So are my jewellery drawers. It just makes things so much easier. I also have hooks around my room that hold things like my lanyards and keys. My keys are on the back of my door so I see them while opening my door and remember to grab them, and my landyards are next to my wardrobe for the same reason. Storing things in clear containers and putting items where you're likely to see them when you need them is so helpful, and has taken a lot of frustration out of my life. Colourful items help a lot as well. I have a medication box that's rainbow and is kept on my bedside table so I'll notice it in a morning, my thermos is bright so I can spot it in my bedroom, my lanyards are bright so I can see them when I glance in my bag. It's just so much easier when you can see what you own and have items that will catch your attention.

10. Optimise your phone screen(s).

Another one that might sound quite weird, but I'll make it make sense. And also this only really applies to Android users, I guess, because I know you can't do much with iPhones and also I don't have one so I don't really know how they really work. But optimise your phone screen(s) to fit with your ADHD. If you're a forgetful person who can't remember when you have appointments and classes, or when you said you'd hang out with someone, get your calendar and put its widget (NOT app. Widget.) on your home screen. Put all your appointments, classes, and other events in there the second you find out they're happening and everything will be right there on your opening screen as a reminder whenever you unlock your phone. As a bonus and way to add tip 9 into this, colour code the reminders! You can even have your calendar send you a notification at a set time before the event is due to happen. Mine has classes, plans, birthdays, appointments, everything. I love it so much. Found out my dad does the same and we independently decided that this was a thing that we needed to do that would help us. I also use an app called DailyBean as my mood tracker but always forget to fill it in, so I put its widget on my home screen as well. That way I can just click the widget in the afternoon and fill in my day, and I get a cute little collection of ghosties gathering on my screen as a bonus! I also have my main two apps (yes, apps this time) on my home screen, which are Spotify and my podacasts app, so I don't need to search through everything to find and use them. Likewise, my bottom row of apps aren't actually apps, they're folders. Those folders are: Entertainment, Games, Social, and Useful. The titles speak for themselves, and each folder contains apps (in alphabetical order, because that's also easier for me) that relate to their titles. These folders when put together don't actually contain every app on my phone, but they're 90% of the ones I use and I rarely open my apps drawer to find something. Right at the top is the time and weather widget, which speaks for itself. I have one screen when I unlock my phone, which makes things nice and easy for me. Your optimisation might be different, but that's how mine works. I actually try to optimise my entire phone when I get a new one by going into the settings and playing around. I have the night light filter on 24/7, my apps drawer is in alphabetical order, and I even found and turned on an "on the body" detector that warns me to not use my phone while walking and lights up my lock screen whenever I lift my phone. Super useful, absolutely recommend you have a wander through your phone's settings.

11. Create capture areas.

You likely already have one of these, especially if you have ADHD, but there's a more specific meaning to this than that one drawer you never organise. If you're someone who ends up with loads of little bits you need to empty from your pockets, or put into your pockets when you're going out, have a little bowl by your door where you put them. I need my wireless earphones, keys, wired earphones (a backup if my wireless die), lip balm, and wallet. I also need my phone but that's always right next to me. I said earlier that my keys go on the back of my door, but the rest of this is usually bunched together on my bedside table so I can just grab them and go rather than having to run around looking for everything. It makes it easier for me to get ready when I know where all my stuff is. It also makes it so they have an area to be put away, and them being there isn't something that can be labelled a mess. At my mum's I also have a mail holder by the front door, so when it comes in I can just pick up the mail and put it in it's holder to deal with later. At my accommodation my mail is downstairs, so I just read it on the way back to my flat and the put it in the documents folder if needs be when I get back. Weirdly, having multiple bins also applies here. Having just one bin is annoying for me, because there are multiple places for me to be in my home, so I put small bins in multiple areas in the house so I don't leave rubbish on counters. When I take out the big bin I put the bags for the small bin in the top so I'm not carrying loads of bags. I also have recycling boxes both in my kitchen and in my bedroom.

These are all the tips and tricks I have for right now. I'm sure there's more, but honestly I've been writing this for at least three hours and I did the thing where my food alarm went off and I ignored it to finish this (I don't always listen to it immediately, but I do eventually eat after it's gone off, which means I'm still eating more with it than I did without it). If I can think of any more tips or if people give me more to list, I might do a second post. For now, have fun with these!

writers on tumblr or tv shows maniacs or even better both, assemble. i need your help ASAP.

see, there is my oc and she needs a cast because i can't live without edits of her. but she has those features many actresses don't have so finding a cast for her is a living nightmare.

she has very short very messy curly red hair, but color isn't as important as texture and hairstyle. she's very masc, and when i say 'very' i mean 'her love interest thought she's a boy at first and she didn't even do anything for it' way of masc. she wears baggy clothes and untied shoes and she probably showers not every week and i love this teenage dirtbag so much.

she's 19 or something near that. the closest match i've found yet is eleven s2, but she's literally a baby there and for terry it's not the best option. like. look at this. a baby.

so... if you remember any show or movie or anything that has a girl (or afab) with this vibes . please tell me. if she's also ginger or has freckles i'll just worship you you're a deity to me at this point but even if she hasn't i'll be so, so happy.

i just wanna marauders thing with people who exist only in my head, is it too much to ask?

i don't know what to do with characters i created for fun and giggles until they started to mean a little too much to me so now i'm simply listening to folklore by taylor swift and feeling like being punched in the guts

my heart is racing without a reason, and i'm terrified, and i want to go home, but i am home. and i want to run, but i can't run from my mind. and most of all things i'm so lonely

hey, adhd/autistic folks, i'd like to know if you have any tips or tricks on how to know your enneagram result correctly, if you can relate to like a half of traits of all the types?..

you need to belong and put on any label possible, but deciding which one is an endless agony, 'cause you don't have any opinions on yourself, but this label depends entirely on your self-perception and can't be given to you due to your birth date or some shit. you know that feeling. any chances someone shares it?

maybe any of you has a very accurate test, or a secret to know at least something about yourself for sure, or. i don't know, anything. an autistic version of sorcerer stone, but it's a strictly defined persona instead of immortality.

you know what, suddenly i get why some wizards in harry potter are just angry morons; if some ancient all-knowing wise relic that says people where they're belong actually asks me which house do i choose?

i just burn it and the whole wizarding world that invented it without doubt.

okay, yes. yes. imogen bi agenda is so important, loving imogen agenda is so valid, i'm so happy someone values her as much as i do and sees her the way i do 'cause IMOGEN IS SO “FROM ALLY TO BI” PIPELINE. SHE JUST IS, I SEE IT AND I'M SO EXCITED ABOUT IT. I MISS BI WOMEN IN MEDIA SO MUCH.

i miss them, i miss this hit of realization unveiling on girl's face, in her eyes, for coming of age movies and shows its just. in needs to be there. yes, every single time. and i love darcy and tara, they're my soft spot, but they had their "oh" moment in their flashbacks so swiftly, blink and you'll miss it. they're as established and constant as they could possibly be, good for them, honestly, but heartstopper could give us just a little more intriguing story for a girl once.

the show could give us girls being confused and amazed and fascinated and still gentle toward other girls, just like they gave us nick being all of above. we need it to be reflected as sapphic too.

"oh" sapphic moments, we deserve more of them, imogen deserves one of them for a fact, she actually needs one, i think. and she'll nail her bi awakening moment perfectly.

hello I absolutely adore Imogen as a character and I'd like to talk about her a bit.

CW: Heartstopper spoilers for seasons 1 and 2

okay so Imogen's character's really interesting to me in the way that she sort of parallels Nick (mostly in season 2 but a bit in season 1 also).

in season 1, she's shown to be more popular. she's good friends with Nick and most of the rugby players and I'd assume probably has many friends at Higgs also. I see her depicted as a 'bad' person (more before season 2 was released than after) simply because she's one of Nick's love interests and it's odd to me?? it isn't like she really did anything wrong, excluding lying about being with Nick to Tara, Darcy and Elle. like yes sure she's friends with Harry, his lot, and later on Ben, but she's honestly not that bad. when she tells Tara and Darcy she's an ally (this is one of my favourite bits) she genuinely believes that she's doing the right thing. I'm not saying they have to be grateful or anything, but she doesn't know any better and she really is an ally.

sure, she can be a bit annoying, maybe a little overbearing but keep in mind she is sixteen years old. she has a crush, or at least she feels like she's supposed to, on a guy she's friends with. she asked HIM out, HE said yes. she didn't ambush him or anything, in fact I believe she didn't really want Harry and the rest of the group there when she asked Nick out. it wasn't her fault he felt pressured to say yes.

when Nick tells her he doesn't feel that way about her, she doesn't get angry with him or try and convince him to be. she accepts it, regardless of how much that has to hurt, and moves on. she doesn't even tell their friendship group that it's Nick's fault it didn't work out, she says SHE can do better. and she can. I love Nick, but she fully deserves someone who genuinely loves and is attracted to her as a person.

in season 2, it's shown that she's still good friends with Nick! she's moved on, she doesn't try and pressure or force him or anything. granted, the guy she develops a crush on isn't great, but she doesn't know that. when Nick tries to tell her, she (understandably) gets upset and I do not blame her. she believes Ben, the same way Charlie believed him when they started kissing and stuff, and that's not her fault. Ben is shown to be really good at manipulation.

when she ends up realising Ben sucks and hanging out with the 'Paris Squad' it's shown that she's much happier. I think my favourite part of this, however, is how close she grows with Sahar.

her breaking up with Ben was my FAVOURITE thing she's ever done it was such a good scene. it also shows how much she's grown as a person to be able to recognise she really does deserve better and needs to turn her focus back on herself.

her and Sahar help me circle back to when I said she parallels Nick because the situation is a bit similar. she and Sahar start off as friends. she believed Sahar was straight, and when she said so and Sahar got upset, you can see the confusion and panic on her face because she really does feel guilty for assuming and feeling like she's hurt Sahar, and it's shown that she follows her offscreen (showing she HAS been working on herself, btw). it's after that initial realisation that she starts looking at Sahar a bit differently.

the biggest one though is when she sees Sahar on stage (sort of like Nick with Charlie and his drums in the orchestra) and the bi flag coloured lights flash across her.

I think it just parallels nicely with Nick and Charlie's relationship because of the similarities (l cba to list them) in how their relationship began and how her's and Sahar's MIGHT begin (if we get a season 3 and thats a storyline Alice wants to pick up)

overall I think she and Nick are very similar (she also is very golden retriever ish) and she's such a good character and I'm glad she's in the show. she creates conflict (like the date in season 1 and Nick being anxious about telling her in season 2) but not so much that she can't be redeemed or loved as a person/character.

also!! I love that she did the ally to (potentially) queer person pipeline because that's a very realistic queer experience and it brings me a lot of joy to see that depicted onscreen.

dunno I've rambled enough and this honestly probably doesn't make much sense considering I've not slept but I hope you enjoyed this 🫶

just bingewatched heartstopper 2 and i feel so.

i feel so much, i'm almost sick.

first of, darcys story? darcys fucking story, i can't even. a teenage girl, a lesbian, being this friendly and cheerful and slightly out of pocket persona, and all this qualities being just a little very loud, because at home she's so very quiet, and me,

being so fucking jealous of her. simply because i didn't ever attempt to run away like that. i just froze. and pretended it was nothing really there. and darcy is so, so brave.

she's saying this "im not who you think i am, you might love that person not who i am really" speech and i just wanna scream because not only i feel just exactly like that, i didn't ever have the courage to say it. to verbalize it. 'cause they don't just might love the person they think i am, they definitely do, you know?

they do.

and darcy runs away. and darcy tells the truth. and i didn't. and i don't.

and now it's too late, cause i'm twenty now, and when i run away, if i run away, it'll be "moving out, 'cause that's what all the grown ups do, 'cause now it's right and acceptable to". but maybe i should do it earlier. i don't know, it was pretty dangerous for me to do so in my country, but i still feel like i should. like i needed that, and i needed the consequences, if they were. i deserved the consequences.

but it doesn't matter. seeing darcy doing brave things, braver things, was almost like finally doing them myself.

♡

can you believe heartstopper s2 is releasing tomorrow. tomorrow i will feel like the most lonely person on planet earth again, can't wait <3

english isnt my first language, so i might just talking random things not knowing about it. if that's so im sorry in advance,

and commas? i don't know her.

i actually really need to learn some grammar, but i don't know where to start, so i'll simply pretend like i don't see a problem here, i do that a lot actually, so it's a win-win situation ☆ˎˊ-

wait, are they even real. like. i didn't watch merlin and still have a merthur tiktok folder and like over a hundred edits there. i can't even imagine.

that's why power of reading minds sucks. one minute you're just minding your business, and bam, now you know your friend right there genuinely doesn't think merthur makes sense or some shit. now you know how it feels like. jump scare.

this is also why teleportation is the only right answer, you can be as far away from these people as possible. and i don't know if merlin could read minds, but if so, i hope he also teleportated himself away from time to time and took some rest from all the weirdos, i bet there were plenty of them, thinking merthur must be just really good pals or someth— bam. teleportation. don't hear shit.

i didn't watch merlin yet, but oh what a burden magic should be for him sometimes.

listen i know you shouldn't judge others based on who they ship but honestly i don't trust people who have watched all five seasons of merlin and do not ship merthur

this is me, i am these words themselves.

the thing is, nothing could possibly be as good as my favorite things, so what if everything ends? so what if i have no content of my favorite people, who don't even exist in real life? i always have them as long as rewinding thing is still here.

sometimes i ask myself, will i even find other friends, if my current ones leave me? i usually do, and these guys aren't there for me, and most of the time i feel as lonely as if i have no friends at all, but. once it was different.

and i can't forget how it feels, i can't forget and move on, and that sounds like a problem, and it honestly is, it so fucking is. 'cause why search for new people to fill dark and dull holes in your life, when i remember how good someone already did that? why try, if something new is something worse already?

at the very least, i can always watch my comfort show again.

little miss only listens to taylor swift, relates to mirrorball and this is me trying, craves academic validation, cries over fictional characters, and rewatches the same comfort shows over and over