MY GOD. I’m so desperately in love with him, it’s ridiculous.
This boy is my entire life. It’s unhealthy. But I can not stop thinking about him
He is mine. I adore him.
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I compare myself to everyone and anyone. Models on Instagram, my best friends I see everyday, actresses in my favorite movies, people I meet one at parties.
And I always find things I would change about myself, based on them. Anything they can do better, I immediately criticize about myself.
I think about what I don’t have or can’t do and I hate myself for those flaws.
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Whenever I drink, I’m tempted to text people whatever I’m feeling at the moment. Usually pretty deep stuff, like how much I love them, things I regret, or just embarrassing things I’ve done.
But I’ve developed some self control and thank myself every morning for not sending those texts.
I know that “drunk words are sober thoughts” but I’m still so grateful that I never send those drunk messages anymore. It has helped me so much because it gives me a chance to reanalyze the situation and then react accordingly.
Never call or text anymore while you’re drunk, unless your in danger, lost, or have your sober friends permission.
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TRIGGER WARNING
Soooo my best friend just told me to kms (I think as a joke) and I don’t know what to do with myself rn.
Context: I posted an “ugly pic” of her on my spam account (with 6 followers and one other person saw it) and then she commented “kys”. I’ve now deleted the pic and no one else saw the pic except her and a friend of ours and I apologized.
Anyway I really don’t know how to feel about this. She knows a lot about my situation and the fact that she just said that is weird. I really don’t know what to do rn.
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I don’t really know what I’m feeling right now.
Sometimes I’m euphoric and am excited for what’s going to happen. I’m motivated to be healthy and see my friends. Next the thing I know I’m ripped down into a hole of self pity and sadness and start neglecting myself again.
It happens to fast and I can’t keep up with my mind anymore.
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