#you can skip the first season and just dive into that
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𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇 𝐎𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐄
PAIRING: JACKSON!JOEL MILLER X FEMALE READER
RATING: EXPLICIT (18+ MDNI) | WORD COUNT: 1.5k
SUMMARY | Nowadays, he’s got the look of a man who’s discovered safety after survival, more life in his face, more weight on his bones. His hair has grown out, curling around his neck and more prominent streaks of gray at his temples and in his beard. This thing between the two of you remains undefined, comes and goes like waves crashing on a shore, but you’ll take what you can get because you’ve never been good about avoiding temptation.
AUTHOR’S NOTE | One glimpse of Pedro as Joel in the new season has turned me into a woman possessed. Thank you @undrthelights and @janaispunk for giving this a read for me 💕
ways to help palestine
WARNINGS | explicit sexual content (18+ minors do not interact), no use of y/n, porn without plot, mild angst, able bodied reader, no physical reader descriptions or age mentioned, jackson era, mentions of joel's weight (in the context of looking healthier in jackson), emotionally constipated joel, dirty talk, praise, pet names, kitchen sex, oral sex - f receiving (while standing), unprotected p in v, limited aftercare. let me know if i’ve missed any!
A noise breaks through your dreams, a loud banging that startles you from sleep and leaves you blinking at the ceiling. Thoughts still fuzzy, you stumble down the stairs and through your kitchen to the back door that rattles in its frame with each pound of a fist against it. You glance at the neon red numbers of the stove clock and at this hour, there can only be one culprit.
“Joel, what the fuck,” you groan, opening the door. “It’s two in the morning, what is wrong with you?” He doesn’t answer, simply shoulders past you and into your house. “Oh, sure come on in, make yourself—“
Your sarcastic remark is abruptly cut off by his lips crashing against yours, mouth hot and hungry as he skips any semblance of pleasantry and dives straight into carnal desire. His teeth graze your lip, the sting soothed by his tongue before it tangles with yours. Your fingers curl into his jacket sleeves, hanging on for dear life as he backs you into a wall, the two of you hitting one with a dull thump that disturbs the picture frames.
He shoves a knee between your thighs and pins you to the plaster, every sense invaded by him as he continues to consume you. When his mouth leaves yours and begins to leave hot kisses like brands across your neck, you finally find your voice again.
“Joel, what—“
“Shut up,” he grunts. You’re taken aback by the command and you have half a mind to smack him across the head for it, but he’s got his teeth on your earlobe and he adds, “I just, I need this, okay? Please?”
The fight leaves you in one fell swoop because you’d do anything for Joel if he just asks nicely. You nod and he returns to his task of turning you into a puddle with a single minded determination. When you start to rock your hips against his denim clad thigh in a desperate bid for friction, you feel, rather than see, the grin on his face.
“Mm, just as needy for me, ain’t you?” He teases. You frown.
“Don’t push your luck, Miller,” you snap. He laughs, a deep rumble that reminds you of the thunderstorms in the spring. “I can still kick you out of my house.”
“You won’t.” Confident, cocky, a man who knows he has you in the palm of his ridiculously skilled hands. “If you’d been smart, you would have kicked me out the first time. Now I’m just like a stray dog, ain’t gettin’ rid of me now.”
The first time, when he showed up in Jackson with a chip on his shoulder and a frown on his face. His hair had been shorter, his frame a bit smaller, his eyes a lot more vacant. He walked you home one night from the Tipsy Bison and when he kissed you under the glow of your porch light, his mouth tasted like whiskey, not unlike it does tonight.
Nowadays, he’s got the look of a man who’s discovered safety after survival, more life in his face, more weight on his bones. His hair has grown out, curling around his neck and more prominent streaks of gray at his temples and in his beard. This thing between the two of you remains undefined, comes and goes like waves crashing on a shore, but you’ll take what you can get because you’ve never been good about avoiding temptation.
While your thoughts drifted to the past, Joel has dropped to his knees and is curling his fingers into the elastic of your underwear, dragging the fabric down your thighs.
“In the kitchen? Really?” You huff. “There’s a perfectly good bedroom upstairs.”
“Too far,” he says, tossing your underwear aside.
Despite your complaints, there is something undeniably sexy about having Joel kneeling before you, impatient enough that he’ll take you right where you stand. He shuffles closer, lifts one of your legs over his shoulder and lavishes your clit with broad swipes of his tongue.
Your head drops back as you moan, your fingers tangling in his hair as he pulls out every trick in the book of your pleasure, alternating between fast circles and sucking the bundle of nerves between his lips. It’s not long before you’ve reached the precipice of your release, teetering on a razor thin edge before finally falling into oblivion with a gasp of his name. He groans against you as you come, waves of it rolling through you.
“So fuckin’ good,” he says as he pulls away. You look down at him with a half-lidded stare, his chin wet in the low light and his own gaze dark with lust. He stands, slowly, with a bit of a wince because of his bad knee that he tries to hide with a grin. “C’mere.”
You let him pull you away from the wall and into his arms where he kisses you, his lips and tongue drenched in your taste. He walks you back to your little kitchen table, kicking a chair out of the way so that he can turn you to face it, a palm between your shoulder blades urging you down until you’re bent over the wooden surface.
The clink of his belt buckle falling to the linoleum makes your muscles clench in anticipation. Joel’s palm smooths down your back, almost reverently, before reaching your ass and giving it a rough squeeze.
“You’re killin’ me, you know that?” He asks. You turn your head, glancing at him over your shoulder.
“Me? I’m not doing anything, I’m waiting for you to quit teasing.”
“That’s just it,” he says, sliding the head of his cock through your messy pussy before notching himself at your entrance. “You ain’t gotta do anythin’ except exist and you’ll drive me crazy.”
Any response you had dies a swift death as he presses inside of you, filling you in the most tortuous way. The ache of the stretch quickly fades as he bottoms out with a deep groan, his hands gripping your waist tight enough that you know you’ll feel the phantom sting of bruises in the morning. He sets a rough, demanding pace, the sound of skin against skin cacophonous in your little kitchen. You can’t hold back the noises of pleasure he wrings from you as he slams in deep with each thrust and pulls out so far that you’re practically empty before doing it over and over again.
“So fuckin’ gorgeous like this, so tight,” he grunts. You arch your back the slightest bit, changing the angle so that each drive of his cock drags against that spot inside of you that has you seeing stars and whimpering his name. “God, that’s it, sweetheart. Take it so pretty.”
“Joel,” you moan. “Please, please, please.”
“Beggin’ to come again?” He asks. “So greedy, ain’t that right?”
“Yes,” you sob. “Need to come, please, Joel!”
“I gotcha, baby.” His hand slips between your thighs and his fingers pinch your sensitive clit. “Come on, come on my cock so I can fill you up.”
It’s an empty threat, but one that works. Your muscles go tight with your second orgasm, your cunt pulsing around him as his thrusts grow erratic, uncoordinated as he chases his own high. He pulls out just seconds before making good on his word, painting your skin with warm release.
As you catch your breath, his warmth leaves your side. You vaguely register the sound of running water before a cold rag is wiping away the mess on your ass and cleaning up the slick between your thighs, the rough fabric over your sensitive flesh making you jump. Joel shushes you, another pass of his soothing palm down your back as he finishes wiping you clean.
You stand up straight on shaky legs and collapse in the chair that he’d kicked from the table to make room for your bodies. He’s already pulled his pants back up, the only evidence of your tryst in the sheen of sweat on his brow and his hair in disarray. His jaw grows tense as you watch him and he shoves his hands into his pockets, shifting his weight from foot to foot in the awkward aftermath.
“Thanks,” he says. “Needed that.”
“So you said,” you reply. “Did something happen?”
“Just some bullshit with Tommy.”
“Brother bullshit or town bullshit?”
“Bit of both.”
“Oh.”
He nods, glancing at the door. “I should get goin’.”
“Right.”
Joel doesn’t move for the door, though. No, he steps in close, taking your face in his warm hands and kissing you softly, gently, a wild juxtaposition to his earlier attentions. When he pulls away, you can’t help but reach up and smooth a thumb between his eyebrows, trying smooth the line of concern there.
“You don’t have to leave,” you whisper. You’ve said it before. You’ll say it again. You’ll keep saying it, until the ship that passes you in the night returns to your harbor.
“I do,” he replies, stepping back. You give him a tired smile.
Tonight isn’t that night.
Thank you for reading! Please consider reblogging or commenting if you enjoyed! You can find more of my writing below:
Joel Miller masterlist | All character masterlists
#joel miller x reader#joel miller#joel miller fic#joel miller x female reader#joel miller smut#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller x you#joel tlou#joel x reader#no use of y/n#jackson era joel#long hair joel
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I would like to focus on the music chosen for Hob Gadling's 80s sequence.
I'm extremely late to the world of The Sandman (finally binged it two weeks ago after my mother had been begging me to watch it with her and now I'm more obsessed than her) Bottom line: I'm unbelievably glad I finally watched this beautiful piece of television.
I have yet to read the comics but as for the first season, I have to say, without a doubt, my favorite episode is Chapter 6: The Sound of Her Wings. Death's 20-min segment is a beauty unto itself, but I'll be focusing on Hob's segment today. Specifically, his 80s scenes.
Considering I'm so late to this fandom and exploring all of its wondrous details and themes, excuse me if this has already been noted. I've been thinking about these details over and over but I need to get it out there in the Sandman world and hear everyone else's thoughts.
*Also excuse the terrible photos - Netflix doesn't let you screenshot and I was too lazy to get another app to let me bypass it. Please bear with my photos of my laptop screen.*
There are three songs that play throughout this sequence.
#1 - "She Drives Me Crazy" by Fine Young Cannibals
I accidentally deleted half my post mid-writing this but here I go again.
As we can see, after the breakup scene, we open up on Hob Gadling (he looks amazing in his 80s look, by the way) and this song plays.
Here are the lyrics:
I mean - where do I even start LMAO.
*Let me just give another note - regardless if you ship Dreamling romantically or not, I will be merely analyzing these lyrics as they are and how they convey Hob's feelings for Dream in general. But, I mean, the songs are THERE, the text is THERE. So do with that what you will.*
This will go for the following two songs as well, but these songs are placed with meaningful intention. Each of these offer a unique lens and dive into Hob's feelings.
I won't be annoying and over-explain anything, but the lyrics are clear I feel:
"She drives me crazy" - cough
"Things you do don't seem real" - in Hob's view, Dream literally is an enigma. Hob has no idea the capacities, the limits, and even the name of this being he meets every century.
"This waiting 'round's killing me" - well.
"Everything you say is lies" - now I wouldn't say particularly lies, but Dream does keep and omit things from Hob. Understandably, Hob would find himself in a confused limbo with Dream.
Here's the kicker:
"I won't make it on my own/No one likes to be alone." - HELLO. I mean, if this isn't the core message and pinnacle of Dream and Hob's lesson to immortality.
As Death mentions earlier in the episode, around 18:10, "Most of us will be glad for the company of a friend."
I feel I could go on forever and ever about the beauty of this episode and how well The Sound of Her Wings and Men of Good Fortune intertwine. They beautifully complement each other as stories lamenting the dichotomy of life and death, and the joys of humanity.
But essentially, Death reteaches Dream how beautiful humans can truly be, and in this pivotal moment, she says this zinger of a line. The camera was initially on Death but for THIS line, it cuts to Dream.
BECAUSE - poor Dream is definitely in need a friend.
Which is then shown to the audience by the 30-min long Hob Gadling sequence that ensues, and we see Dream's aversion to needing someone, to needing a friend.
But I digress - back to the song, and that one line about not wanting to be alone.
That is such a poignant line, because as much as Dream felt alone and needed company, so does Hob? An immortal, constantly seeing the death of others around him, his companions and family long gone, he needs someone.
Considering this 80s sequence ruminates so heavily on post-breakup feelings, Hob is missing Dream dearly. His constant in life.
I'm rambling too much, onto the next one!
#2 - "Shattered Dreams" by Johnny Hates Jazz
Time skip to perhaps a few hours later, who knows. We see Hob still waiting for Dream, alone in the pub.
Hm.
Literally what else could I say. I'm being slapped in the face with pining and angst and longing.
Here are the lyrics:
Some noteworthy lyrics:
"So much for your promises/They died the day you let me go" - this breakup man
"Caught up in a web of lies" - another lie motif
"I thought it was you/Who would stand by my side" - the theme of Dream and Hob being constants in each other's lives
"Shattered dreams" - I could scream. The title of the song. SHATTERED. DREAMS. giggling rn.
"Woke up to reality" - I think that's a very interesting line toeing between the constant references of the Waking and the Dreaming
Basically, I've been noting these evident similarities within the songs to align themselves to Dream and Hob's situation, and it's clear that the director/writers chose these songs with intent of it paralleling Dreamling.
So that makes it even more insane when lines like "From this empty heart" are meant to parallel Hob. Like.
Okay, last song.
#3 - "Keep On Moving" by Soul II Soul
This song plays as the night progresses. It's late, it's clear Dream isn't showing up, and Hob is feeling pretty final about that, and perhaps he's accepted it at this point. Dream isn't coming.
So this is where he speaks to the bartender and that scene ensues.
Here are the lyrics:
The themes of time and clocks are super prevalent within this song, and again it's once more clear how heavily this reflects and represents Hob.
Noteworthy lyrics:
"Why do people choose to live their lives this way?" - I think this also uniquely touches on the general aspect of humanity and one's reason to live/love life. Dream battles with his confusion/slight disappointment for humanity at the beginning, as he asks Death, "Why would any sensible creature crave an eternity of this?" And then Hob helps Dream realize why there's so much to live for. (24:30)
"I know the time will come today/The time will come one day"
"Walking alone in my own way" - Again this idea of walking alone and needing company.
"You'll be in my life, my life always" - Dream and Hob being constants again.
This all goes to say - Hob cares. He cares for Dream.
And I just think that's very beautiful. The magnitude with which Dream's absence means to him and how much their friendship/companionship both means to each of them. I just think their connection is a beautiful thing that I love seeing and rewatching. Wonderfully, these songs give the audience even more layered insight into this connection.
This was super long, and I apologize if I went on some tangents. But I also just couldn't help it, The Sandman is so incredibly rich in its storytelling and its connections and dynamics that I had to write this all down. I also just very much appreciate the amount of care and detail that goes into every aspect of television, and needle drops such as these three songs are no exception.
Thank you for sticking with me through this! Can't wait for season 2!
#i have more thoughts#i think i will never fully be satisfied with this post#there will always be too much to say#but wow#they CARE#there's LOVE there#genuine love#i love them#dream the endless#lord morpheus#king of dreams#hob gadling#hob#dreamling#dreamling meta#dream x hob#the sandman#music as outlets to the soul#and emotion#music#the sound of her wings#men of good fortune#i hope whoever read this enjoyed!#thank you
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Hi, I hope you're doing well! Just wondering if you're able to do a post/poll/comparison/analysis - let's call it a scientific study - of Pedro's broad shoulder in proportion to his tiny waist? (and maybe also his cute, um, bottom?)
As always, thank you so much for all you do for the Pedro fandom! 💖
This ask is literally 8 months old, I’m so sorry sweet anon 😭 I kept putting it off because I felt like I couldn’t do your ask justice. I still think I can do a much better job than this, but since it’s Boxing Day, I thought I’d leave this naked man under all of your trees.
Please forgive the half-assed analysis because my mind doesn’t work in the face of such broadness 🫠 And of course, we can only use half-naked pics because we need clear references for science.
Let's talk overall broadness first. This man majorly beefed up in between Nikita (2013) and the first season of Narcos (2015). I was going to use 3:5 cropping for both gifs, but I literally couldn't fit all of Javier in that frame. That's how bloody broad this man had gotten.
Can we admire the corded muscles running down Javier's side for a second? Look at the lines. Look at them. He is significantly thicker and more sculpted compared to Liam, he definitely put his hours in the gym in those couple of years.
Skipping forward to the next time we see this man half-naked on screen in TUWOMT in 2022, he has clearly gotten even broader horizontally and also filled out in thickness. The shoulders are bigger, and look at those tiddies pecs practically leaping off the screen, and that soft belly. They knew what they were doing not giving us a full frontal shot of Javi G - he's a danger to ovaries everywhere.
Now let's move on to shoulder-to-waist ratio. Compared to Liam, Javier has a more pronounced dip in the waist thanks to the broader shoulders and the tiny little waist that stayed tiny. If you draw lines connecting shoulders to waist, Liam is more boxy and Javier is more of a trapezium.
While we don't see Javi G stand up fully, that shoulder-to-waist ratio is clearly still there, even if he is broader on both ends overall. That slutty nip in the waist is still very much present.
Ok that's all the analysis my turkey-fogged brain is capable of right now. This is such a broad topic (tehehe), consider this a prelude of sorts. I'm sure I'll be doing more of a deep dive one day, because we haven't even gotten to that little tush yet.
• Masterlist •
Related posts:
Shoulders/arms/waist ratio
Pedro boys in bed
Pedro boys disrobed
#pedro pascal#pedro pascal characters#pedro pascal cinematic universe#javier pena#javier peña#javi gutierrez#the unbearable weight of massive talent#pedro pascal edit#pedro pascal gifs#pedro pascal analysis#fuckyeahasks
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EXCLUSIVES INTERVIEWS
How Jared Padalecki Changed From A Gilmore Girls Kid To Walker Season 4's Father - Exclusive Interview
"Walker" is now in its fourth season. What about the show, and also the character of Cordell, has made you want to keep coming back year after year?
Well, so many things. But I think to answer your second question first, what I love about the character of Cordell Walker and what he is going through is that it feels, though very different, very similar to my own life. I mean, I am a father. This is the first chance I've ever had to play a father. So selfishly, I love exploring what that looks like. Our writers have been so diligent about making this show as honest as possible. I hope I don't sound like I'm disparaging the OG "Walker, Texas Ranger" in any way, shape, or form, but this is not a martial arts show as much as it's a human being show about adulting and about having relationships and having troubles, and things are dirty and messy and there's not always an easy fix.
It's not necessarily get the bad guy and everything's good for the week. It's sort of like, get the bad guy, but in the process of getting the bad guy, you ignored your daughter, so how do you fix that? Or in the process of getting the bad guy, you skipped out on your son. Or in the process of getting the bad guy, you locked yourself in your room for three weeks straight and weren't available to anybody, and now you have some relationships to repair. So it's much more similar, in my opinion, to life. Life as I know it, at least.
And to answer your first question about Season 4, I'm really excited. We haven't really explored past traumas in the sense of the Ranger world. And so we have this serial killer, the Jackal, and it's very clear that the Jackal — before Captain James (Coby Bell) was captain, he was just Ranger, and Ranger James and Ranger Walker were partners — he really terrorized these guys, specifically Ranger James, then Captain James. And Season 4 has been a great kind of dark dive into what someone can do to you psychologically when it seems like they're playing with your emotions, and they're one step ahead of you all the time, and you just can't save those around you when your job is to protect and serve.
"Walker" is your first dive into the world of executive producing. What has that been like for you?
My trailer's bigger, I get to tell people what to do. [laughs] By the final seasons of a show I did before "Walker" called "Supernatural," Jensen Ackles and I both had a say in the storylines and in the scripts and the blocking. And then, to quote the Bard, "A rose by any other name would smell as sweet." We weren't executive producers by any means, we weren't involved in all the meetings that artists aren't necessarily usually involved with, but we were so passionate about our characters and about the story and about the canon and about the cast and crew that our vote was counted, even though we were never producers on "Supernatural."
With "Supernatural," I think the executive producers were able to see through 10 years of example that Jensen and I cared about the story and the script and the characters, not about like, "Hey, it'd be cool if I took my shirt off. Hey, it'd be cool if I had leather pants and a motorcycle." They knew that we were doing what was best for the character. And so I think when you come in as the EP, that's assumed, and so that kind of bridge has already been passed, that speed bump has already been navigated. That's been wonderful.
I have a wonderful relationship with ["Walker" creator] Anna Fricke. Funny enough, her husband Jeremy Carver was executive producer and showrunner of "Supernatural" for many years, and that's how she and I first met. And from day one, she and I have just been on the same page. We just talked this morning, as a matter of fact, about the finale that we're shooting right now. And so it's been nicely passionate. I think what I've found in my 20-something years in the industry is that, as an actor, what happens between action and cut doesn't really interest me all that much. It's fun. But what I'm interested in is being home with a script, with the puzzle of how does this work? Where does this not work? How can this work better? What else could we do?
So to be a partner and trying to determine what storylines are most poignant and most pertinent along the way, and what works best for each character has been really special and I'm really excited about it. And even learning a lot about what happens, quote-unquote "behind the scenes," some of which is kind of unnecessary for me to know. "Well, hey, this location's going to cost $1,000, but this is going to be $1,200." I'm like, "Okay, well, what's better?"
I was a kid that spent time in my room building Legos, much like my middle son. I was just so fascinated by the way things work. And I think, frankly, for certain actors, that informs their performance as well, knowing everything that went into why a scene has to be a certain way. I can recall on "Gilmore Girls" or "Supernatural" reading a scene and going, "Well, wouldn't it be a lot better if we did this instead?" And now having been EP for years, I can read a scene and go like, "Oh, I know why this is inside, not outside. Oh, I know why they just push each other and don't get into a full-on fight. Oh, I know why this person has lines, or this one doesn't." So it kind of helps complete the puzzle, so to speak.
Speaking of "Supernatural," you've had some really big roles in your career, like Sam, and Dean on "Gilmore Girls," obviously.
OG Dean! I like to say OG Dean because Jensen was Dean on "Supernatural," but I'd already been Dean on "Gilmore Girls" for five years. So I like to try and kind of wink and nod.
What does it mean to have those fans that started with you on "Gilmore Girls" also embracing this newer character of Walker?
I can't put into words how grateful I am that people have enjoyed the work I do. And funny enough, even though it's scripted television, I feel like my work and career have been kind of like a journal. On "Gilmore Girls," I did the pilot when I was 17 years old and I was a kid fresh out of San Antonio, Texas, where the only apartment I could afford, the door didn't lock. It was in the parking lot of a liquor store. And then I grew up a little bit. And then at 22, I started "Supernatural" and I was still essentially a kid. But during "Supernatural," I became more of a man and an adult and a husband and then a father. And now on "Walker," I'm a father. And so it's really life imitates art.
And so the idea that people have taken the time to listen to me, I feel listened to. Which is ironic because I'm playing characters. This isn't a documentary by any means. But I'm flattered and I hope they all understand that I would not be here able to tell stories if it weren't for them, period.
Is there anything that you want the fans to know before they watch the "Walker" Season 4 premiere?
Yeah, we have a shortened season. We have 13 episodes. Jensen and I used to joke when we were doing a 23-episode season of "Supernatural," you're not going to win them all. If you go up to bat 23 times, you're not going to hit home runs every time. If you shoot 23 three-pointers, you're not going to make them all. But with 13 episodes, each one is wham, bam, don't miss, don't blink, don't walk away. We're bringing a lot of awesome, incredible, high-stakes stuff the audience's way, and I can't wait to watch alongside them.
Looper
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Some sources are reporting that Pedro is not going to be on set once again for season 4, which makes sense given how busy he is, but it is very annoying and disappointing after season 3 basically skipped over any deep relationship with his identity we could have gotten that now we’re probably never going to see his face again or ever mention anything related to that. It’s understandable why the Mandalorian is always Pedro’s least priority, but that also means I really wouldn’t be surprised if the season once again uses Bo-Katan for its emotional elements since they seem to be writing the story now around these setbacks and not as a cohesive story that knew to focus mostly on Din’s own character growth in seasons 1 and 2 :/
I totally understand your frustration with it. I also would love to see more of Pedro in the suit, like how it was in season 2. The only problem is that he himself said it’s too difficult for him physically, and, of course, now he has freedom to do other projects simultaneously.
I can assure you Pedro’s absence from set wasn’t the reason why Din’s story suffered in season 3.
Just look at season 1 and The Book of Boba Fett. Chapter 5 of the latter had one of Din’s deepest character dives yet, with his shunning and then his 180-happiness in flying the N-1. Pedro wasn’t on set for that, and they still made some good character moments happen. Same for season 1! He was on Broadway when they filmed most of season 1, yet he was still able to come and shoot what he needed to.
So, they could’ve done the same in season 3 if necessary, but clearly the story just didn’t have it written in the first place. It wasn’t made around Pedro. It wasn’t his fault.
Season 4, then, will be okay even if Pedro can’t be there as much again. They’ll find a way to have him come in and shoot any scenes they need him to. It’s what they did for season 1 and Boba Fett, and they’ll do it again. The story just needs to have its Din focus to evoke the energy of seasons 1 and 2.
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a couple of interesting things on that latest panel re: the current status of Lestat... Sam claims that in the first 2 seasons, there isn't even a moment where we see the "real" Lestat. Do you think that means we won't even catch a glimpse of him in the modern era? Maybe the most we'll get is some kind of hint that he's around, but his story won't properly start until season 3 kicks off? The other thing I noted was Rolin saying it was Sam's harlequin rehearsal that made him realize he was going to have to do rockstar!Lestat. So I guess that plotline wasn't part of his original design and we can (probably!) rule out rockstar Lestat being actively incorporated into this season, either in the 80's or the present? I know we have to take what they say with a pinch of salt, but I seriously hope we get more than just a vague hint of present-day Lestat this season!
Mhhhh.
So for one I would like to note, that for me the story started with episode 1, and in a quite the ingenious way, because the POV and memory angle allows for a very messy dive into the POV angle of the books. I mean, we literally can dive into emotions and manipulations of other characters there... I love that.
As per Lestat being there in Dubai... I had hoped for Lestat to be there in episode 8, but given that episode 8 apparently ends in a cliffhanger... it might be ending with the elevator pinging *snickers*
IDK. I think what Sam is trying to say there is that we cannot have seen the "real" Lestat yet, because of the POV angle - the only "real Lestat" we'll see will be on that couch in Dubai - I mean, his own POVs will also be colored by his perception. I bet it will be up to the audience to correlate that with what they see in Dubai, and then go from there.
As per that rockstar comment - I think that was a) tongue-in-cheek because I don't think you can just skip that part and b)... it was praise.
Rolin is very sly. And sometimes he puts his foot into his mouth, like we all do. And they don't want to spoil.
But yeah, rockstar Lestat was never to be in this season, imho. And even if, then only in flashbacks, but I see them more in s3 or 4.
But I think he was always planned as having happened. Remember Armand's comment re the "mediocre star"? I STILL think that was a jab towards Lestat's little rockstar career, because he was a "mediocre star one hit wonder" there. :)
#Anonymous#ask nalyra#iwtv s2#iwtv#amc iwtv#interview with the vampire#interview with the vampire s2#amc interview with the vampire#interview with the vampire amc#iwtv amc#rockstar lestat#future season speculation
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something about the Intrepid Heroes season villains just make me go insane. . I don't know what it is but my god. . I can understand and have justification on why they are doing the thing that they are doing but I hate them anyway...
Let's talk about it. .
The Unsleeping City Chapter 1
Robert Moses..... Not going to lie, the season caused me to do a fucking deep dive on Robert Moses and honestly made me love the Unsleeping City more.
I can do a dive into Unsleeping City because the way the world is built around NYC. Hearing 'The New Colossus' by Emma Lazarus, being read/recited when they were talking about the Statue of Liberty. The locations, I was like yep that totally makes sense and works.
I'm sure it's the same with TUC Chapter 2. I've literally just started this season so I can't give thoughts.
Neverafter.
What can't I say about this season. It was my first one, it was also very horror coded. But the villains, my god the villains.
The "Arthurs" - just the fact they were omni-present and probably not aware until the stories started to fight back, and suddenly joined in on the fight.
The Princesses - You can be fed up with your destined destiny and what happens after you get your happy ending. THEY HAD A POINT, it was a fucking good argument. . They just went about it the wrong way. I'm glad Elodie saw reason from her frog prince and the rest of the group. But my god, they were good villains that revealed their hand when the guards of the group were down.
Minerva / Step Mother. - NO NOTES, SHE SCARED THE CRAP OUT OF ME. . Just that moment of getting revealed and her history. . Just. . Yeah. .
The Fairies - yeah... I mean apart from the Orange One. .just yeah, we knew they were in the wrong. . But yeah.
Starstruck
The Brain Slugs - I'm not going to write the dynasty of the slugs. Skip's family. That one. Their plan was dumb but it did make sense. I mean you can take over anybody and control them.....
I mean this season was pure fun and chaos not to love it, the villains had their reasons and I get it. . Pure sci fi villain shenanigans.
A Crown of Candy
Now... Granted I have seen clips and things about this season not all the way through so I do know some spoilers etc. .
I also know this is Game of Thrones meets Candyland..
The villains make sense etc, Calory had a fucking good reason to do what he did.
Fantasy High
KLCK HAS REASONS FOR HER BEHAVIOUR. . SHE IS ALSO A TEENAGER. She is so well written and designed.
#dimension 20#d20#fantasy high#d20 neverafter#d20 unsleeping city#d20 starstruck#a crown of candy#wulf ramble tag#wulf queue tag
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An Incredibly Long and Wholly Unnecessary Disection of How Fate: The Winx Saga Missed the Mark on What Made the Winx Club Special
So, I decided to make this cause I have way too many feelings on this and I saw someone make something similar about a different franchise and loved it so here goes.
DISCLAIMER: If you’re a fan of the Winx Club and enjoyed Fate, I have nothing against you, these are just my feelings and I 1) am really glad you were able to enjoy it and 2) genuienely sorry a show you loved got canceled cause I know how much that sucks
SPOILERS FOR FATE AND THE FIRST 3 SEASONS OF THE WINX CLUB (AND A BIT OF SEASON 4)
One more thing: I’ve only watched Fate once since I’m not about to make myself rewatch it for this so if I forget any certain scene I apologize.
With that out of the way, the themes I will be discussing in this essay will be divided into 4 categories: The Problems I Have In General. Questions That Will Never Be Answered. Character Deep Dives/Character Rants. And finally, How Fate failed to capture the Essence of Winx Club.
These will be the themes of every category (feel free to skip any that may not interest you).
The Problems I Have In General:
The Abandonment of an Amazing World and Dimension for a Hogwarts Rip-Off.
The Erasure of Good Adoptive Parents
Polyamorous My Ass (Srsly What the Fuck was that?)
Fake Feminism and Pitting Women Against Each Other
The Love Triangle Took Years From My Life and I’m Tired
Why Glitter and Love was Essential to the Feminism of the Winx Club
Questions That Will Never Be Answered
What Makes the Specialist Special?
Where are the Witches?
Why are Riven and Sky friends?
Character Deep Dives/Character Rants
From Naive but Loyal and Heroic to Boring and Annoying (A Bloom Deep Dive)
How Stella Became Everything She Stood Against (A Stella Deep Dive)
Why Musa Kinda Works but Really Doesn’t (A Musa Deep Dive)
Was Terra Necessary? What made her unique? (A Terra Deep Dive)
From Hero to Zero (An Aisha Deep Dive/Rant)
Why Sky Somehow was the Most Interesting One but Still Boring (A Sky Deep Dive)
Why Riven will Always Get the Short End of the Stick (A Riven Deep Dive/Rant)
Bea Could’ve Saved the Show, BUT- (A Beatrix Rant)
Why Flora Mattered (A Flora Deep Dive/Rant)
A Retrospective Look at Soft Boys (A Helia and Timmy Deep Dive/Rant)
The Forgotten Protectors (A Brandon and Nabu Rant)
Why Tecna is Often Discarded and Why She Shouldn’t Be (A Tecna Deep Dive/Rant)
How Fate Failed To Capture the Essence of the Winx Club
How Fate Forgot the Most Important Aspect of the Winx Club: Friendship Amongst Young Women
Now with that out of the way, let’s get to it, cause this is gonna be a long one.
The Problems I Have In General
The Abandonment of an Amazing World and Dimension for a Hogwarts Rip-Off
So. I think we can all agree that the world of Winx Club is one that is not only aesthetically pleasing but also very unique and magical.
We have Magix, where the three schools of magic are, all with very different but equally interesting aesthetics and designs that make sense for what the schools teach. We also have the city of Magix, where we have magical ships and a cool toned color pallet that makes us feel like we’re in a futuristic world, Red Fountain also feels right out of a sci-fi movie, whilst the clothing, stores, Cloud Tower and Alfea remind us of the magical aspects of the world.
Further into the series, we see the girls’s home planets, which are all very different, creative and fit the girls perfectly. We have Solaria with two suns, Lynphea as an ecologists utopia with hollow trees for houses and giant ladybugs for transport, Zenith as a sci-fi dream, Melody with its glittering oceans and singing whales, etc.
Watching Winx Club, just looking at the world adds so much to the feeling of magic, the setting just helps the story so much. Also it’s just fucking gorgeous.
Now compare that to Fate… where we get a dark forest… and an old Mansion, that serves as both Red Fountain and Alfea…
I would just like to say, I’m a sucker for dark academia, I love this aesthetic, for other shows, but this is supposed to be an adaptation of Winx Club, where there already was an amazing world where the story was set in, so why didn’t they even try to use that? I don’t know, but it really bothers me that they didn’t try even one bit.
Especially when the vibrant colors and fantastical environment were such a big part of what made the Winx Club stand out.
The Erasure of Good Adoptive Parents
I remember watching Winx Club for the first time and when it was revealed that Bloom was adopted I literally was like… but… her parents love her…
Yep.
We very rarely get good adoptive parents in stories (it’s getting a bit better but still, at least as a kid this was pretty much the only time I ever saw fictional adoptive parents that actually loved their child).
So, the fact that in Fate we get Vanessa (the sweetest mom ever in the cartoon) be a maniac who takes away Bloom’s privacy and tries to live vicariously through Bloom just really fucking pissed me off.
Like… what was the need for that? You didn’t need Bloom to be pissed for her to lose control of her powers and accidentally burn her parents.
In fact, I think it would’ve been even more traumatic and dramatic if Bloom had a good relationship with her parents (like she did in the cartoon) but still lost control, maybe in her sleep, and burned the people she loves most in the world, that would’ve been so angsty it would’ve been great.
But no, let’s continue the narrative that adoptive parents can’t be good parents.
Polyamorous My Ass (Srsly What the Fuck was that?)
This just… I’m so tired.
We pretty much never get Polyamorous relationships in shows like this and then we get… whatever the fuck this was.
So… Bea is obvs just using both Riven and Dane (it is Dane right? I don’t care enough to check). Riven, only likes Bea and is very biphobic towards Dane and Dane seems to be in love with Riven and kinda like Bea.
This relationship (if you can even call it that) is weird. Sometimes it’s portrayed as toxic, other times it isn’t and it’s just weird.
This also really fucking pissed me off. Because… why? You could’ve had Dane as a separate character, in the original we already had the Darcy/Riven plotline so why did you have to add Dane?
Honestly, Dane could’ve just had a crush on Riven and become genuienly friends with Terra or smth, he didn’t have to be involved with Riven and Bea, that should’ve been a separate plotline. If you wanted a bi character so badly you could’ve just made one of the girls (Flora- sorry Terra, Musa and Aisha are already largely headcannoned to be bi, they could’ve used that) be bi. You didn’t need to introduce a new character for the sake of diversity, especially if you were going to screw it up that badly.
Cause Riven and Bea are already dramatic enough on their own, we didn’t need this poor, horrible attempt at a polyamorous relationship.
Fake Feminism and Pitting Women Against Each Other
Next up… oh dear…
Where can I even start? Okay, one of the first things we see in the series is Bloom telling Sky he is mansplaining… when he’s very clearly not…
The desire to come across as feminist and be an #womenempowerment show is so obvious it almost hurts. But they never do anything to actually show this.
From the very first conversation between Bloom and Stella in the show, it was very obvious to me that they would be competitors, not best friends like in the show.
Throughout the show, we see the girls berate each other, compete and insult one another, and I don’t see how any of that can be seen as feminism.
Stella literally almost causes Bloom’s death out of jealousy over Sky.
How is this anything like the Winx Club?
The closest bond in the group is probably between Musa and Terra. And even then, a lot of the time I feel like Musa only tolerates Terra, and they feel like roommates, not best friends who would die for each other like they were in the Winx Club.
There is very little support amongst the women of Fate, there are few instances when we aren’t being told to compare them or to see who is best. That is not feminism.
Now, it would’ve worked very well if the girls got off on the wrong foot but we got to see them slowly bond and slowly trust each other and become good friends, but I never felt that. The only time that they join forces is to clean up the mess that they made, and even then it never feels like all 5 of them are on the same page, it’s more like the world (and story) is forcing them together.
This was a tad bit better in season 2 but there were mostly moments between 2 Winx not all of them (the only moments I liked were the sleepover and Terra coming out) in season 2 the strongest bond was clearly that of Stella and Bea.
So yeah, with constant competition, fights and very few moments of actual friendship, almost all of which feel forced, I can say that Fate does not feel like a Feminist show at all.
From the moment I saw they were going to ignore the gem that was Bloom and Stella’s bond in the original I knew they weren’t going to try to actually make the girls friends and support one another.
The Love Triangle Took Years From My Life And I’m Tired
Why? Why? WWHHHHYYYYYYY?!?!??!??
What was the reason? What was the fucking reason?!
There was none.
There was not a single reason why the love triangle between Bloom, Sky and Stella should’ve happened or was needed.
They could’ve easily introduced Diaspro, a character we already know and a character whose only purpose in the cartoon was to create drama and tension between Bloom and Sky.
Love triangles are dead. We all know that. You will never be Jem/Tessa/Will, stop fucking trying.
Okay so, first off, I would’ve honestly been okay if we’d seen Sky and Stella be exes and they like ‘Yeah we tried that was a huge mistake but now we’re friends’ and then Bloom comes in and Sky isn’t sure cause she’s Stella’s bestie but Stella is encouraging, that could’ve been cool. But that is obviously not what we got.
Why do we always pit women against each other over a man? I think we all know the answer to that.
The Love Triangle was bland, boring and useless. Nothing came out of it.
We apparently got Stella and Sky realizing they were codependent and toxic which… duh. But nothing comes from this, we never see them get closer and have a healthy friendship, we get 1 scene in season 2 that is never expanded upon and that’s it.
They threw Stella and Bloom’s friendship to the trash for a Love Triangle that absolutely nobody wanted. And even in season 2, Stella and Bloom? They’re not friends. They’re barely cordial with one another and that pisses me of so fucking much I can’t even describe it.
In the cartoon the girls NEVER fought over a man, if there were moments of jealousy they were passing (I can remember exactly 1 with Aisha and Bloom in season 2. That’s literally it). There could be drama with other girls and even that was very little mostly Diaspro and the messes with Mitzi and Crystal in later seasons but the cartoon almost never relied on that to create drama against the girls because they knew it wasn’t really needed.
This triangle did nothing for any of the characters and the drama was petty and stupid. I just… I honestly don’t think I’m really saying anything of substance here but this particular topic just makes me sooooo mad that I can’t even describe the particulars of how this Love Triangle makes me just so mad cause it was FUCKING USELESS, IT DID NOTHING FOR THE CHARACTERS OR THE STORY IT WASN’T NEEDED, IT WASN’T WANTED AND IT WASN’T…. UUUGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!
Why Glitter and Love was Essential to the Feminism of the Winx Club
The feminism of the original Winx Club (especially the first 4 seasons) was honestly very simple. It wasn’t in your face or even really ever called out.
To me, the feminism in the original Winx Club was just… the girls themselves.
We had six very different young women, who were all portrayed as strong, funny, beautiful and just awesome.
We have Bloom, who’s a bit of a girl next door. She can be a bit hotheaded, but she’s crazy loyal and incredibly strong. We see her be naive sometimes and be really nervous and attempting to find her place and we also get to see her step up to the occasion when it’s time for blows.
We have Stella, a fashionista who I will talk a lot about in her section cause I am pissed of what they did to her. We see her be a kind person and try to grow and be dedicated to her passions.
We have Flora who is the girliest of girls but still portrayed as strong and smart. Her softness doesn’t erase her strength. And she doesn’t have these big stand up moments of ‘I’m strong and I will prove it to you!’ She just is strong.
We have Musa, who’s a bit of a tomboy and slightly more rough around the edges but who has a lot of emotional depth.
We have Tecna, who can come across as cold but who we see literally almost die for her friends and who has such a big heart.
We have Aisha, who’s very sporty and who has to seek out her place in the group and kinda learn how the whole friend group works and who we see grow in season 2.
We have a hotheaded girl next door, a kind fashionista, a girly girl, a musical tomboy, a tech girl and a sporty girl who are all portrayed as different and unique but are also all portrayed as strong.
Yes, we see them occasionally butting heads (if I remember correctly Musa/Flora and Stella are the ones that butt heads most often) and fight sometimes, but we see that their friendship is stronger than all of that.
We see them support each other in so many different ways and be the definition of ride or die.
Something I really like is that they don’t really make fun of each other’s interests despite having vastly different personalities. And they also don’t compare themselves and understand that they’re all awesome in their own ways.
The girls are united in friendship in such a deep way that they could probably never stop being friends even if they tried.
And… none of that is included in Fate.
Which is a fucking shame.
We don’t really see the girls’ interests in Fate, we just see them all acting like angsty teenagers who are either lashing out at pretty much everybody or being a bit of a doormat. They’re not really portrayed as strong either.
I can’t see the uniqueness that was there in the cartoon. The girls aren’t really… they’re just not interesting. Especially when compared to their cartoon counterparts.
Also, this part is a bit more petty and something personal to me but I think a lot of you can relate so…
Seeing girls that were fashionable, girly and weren’t afraid to show off their girlie side was awesome. Especially in a world of ‘I’m Not Like Other Girls’ protagoinsts that just hate dresses and only wear them once.
As a girlie girl myself, looking back on the Winx Club, I love that they didn’t try to make the girls more masculine to make them seem stronger. Even Musa, Aisha and Tecna who are arguably the least ‘girly’ show off their more feminine side in a way that feels natural.
So yeah… that last part doesn’t have to do that much with Fate I just wanted to add that.
Questions That Will Never Be Answered
What Makes the Specialists Special?
First off, I would like to say that I loved that in Fate women could be Specialists and guys could be fairies, I just thought that was really neat. So kudos to you for that Fate. Enjoy it, I won’t give you many.
Now on to the question. What makes the Specialists special?
In the cartoon, the reason I really liked the Specialists was their weapons, they were colorful, creative and straight out of a sci-fi movie. Brandon’s sword, Sky’s boomerang, Riven’s bolas, Timmy’s gun, Helia’s gloves etc.
It always felt like the Winx got magic and fantasy while the Specialists got technology and sci-fi.
And that is, once again, gone in Fate. The Specialists are now generic warrior driving Jeeps and wearing leather.
Where are the capes? The Owls and Wind Riders? Everything that made the Specialists cool even when they didn’t do much in a fight?
Where did that all go?
This one was more of an aesthetic thing but I still feel like it took a lot away from the Specialists and what made them low-key iconic.
Where are the Witches?
Where are they? Seriously I wanna know where my girlies are?
I get that, since they got rid of the transformation and gave us half assed CGI wings it might’ve been hard to differentiate the witches from the fairies but still… you can’t just not have freaking witches!
I like getting to see evil fairies but still. I don’t like this!
I just feel like it takes away so much not having the witches. Can you imagine getting Lucy and Mirta in Fate?… actually no, they would’ve been screwed over but you know what I mean.
Yet another topic that makes me so mad and petty that I can’t quite describe it.
Why are Riven and Sky friends?
Okay so, this is actually a genuine question.
Most of the boys were excluded from Fate (which I’m lowkey grateful for cause if they’d done my boys Helia and Timmy dirty there would’ve been blood) so they kinda had to smush Riven and Sky into bestie status.
Now, looking at this objectively, we know that in the cartoon, Sky’s bestie is Brandon. And Brandon and Riven have more things in common than you’d expect.
They’re both good fighters and work hard at Red Fountain, they’re kinda ladies men, they can be jokesters from time to time but take their duty seriously. They’re also pretty competitive.
I think Brandon is what Riven would’ve been if he had a normal childhood.
The main difference is that Riven has walls. He shuts people out and can be a bit of a jerk sometimes. The Riven in Fate is a straight up asshole.
So… why is he friends with Sky?
I’ll be honest, I really wanted to see more of these two, I think the dynamic could’ve been really interesting and cool to explore but… we got… pretty much crumbs.
With the like… two moments we have with them I don’t see why they’re friends and it ruins my sense of disbelief just that much more.
Character Deep Dives/Character Rants
From Naive but Loyal and Heroic to Boring and Annoying (A Bloom Deep Dive)
Let’s talk about our favorite hotheaded redhead shall we?
I’ll be honest, Bloom was always my least favorite Winx and I actually grew to dislike her post season 3, but… she didn’t deserve this.
I’m honestly not sure how to describe why the Bloom from Fate is just… so fucking boring… I don’t really feel many emotions coming from her.
In the original (at least the first 3 seasons) Bloom has quite a bit of personality, she’s a bit naive and impulsive but also THE ride or die bestie.
She’s fun to watch even if I would sometimes get frustrated when she acted a bit stupid or when she was impulsive.
Bloom worked as a protagonist partially due to her impulsive habits (since they make her take the lead/initiative in many occasions) but I feel like with Fate Bloom that impulsive nature comes across as more annoying since Fate Bloom isn’t as friendly as OG Bloom and doesn’t really have anyone to bounce her impulsiveness off of like she did in the OG.
I don’t know, I just never really felt any connection with her but overall I think she’s still the one that was done the least dirty. And the one I’m the least furious about.
I think the main problem I have with Fate Bloom is that she’s got that ‘I have to do this alone’ attitude and it never really changed, so she doesn’t really have anyone to bounce off of to make her impulsive and stupid moments less annoying.
How Stella Became Everything She Stood Against (A Stella Deep Dive)
Welp… I am fucking furious now.
I think most of us will be able to agree that one of Stella’s main purposes in the original show was to break the Dumb Blonde/Mean Blonde stereotype that was much more prevalent in the 2010′s.
Stella could come across as a bit full of herself and could be mean since she didn’t really have a brain-to-mouth filter but she was never mean on purpose and always made up for her mistakes.
We see that Stella is at her core a kind person and soft-hearted individual when we see that after knowing Bloom for a whole of one day and Bloom helping her once, Stella is willing to risk getting herself expelled to give Bloom the chance to go to Alfea.
We also see there’s more to her than just superficial stuff when, after the Sky-Brandon reveal she tells Brandon that she cares more about the face that he lied than the fact that he isn’t a prince. The quote was along the lines of: ‘My parents are the King and Queen of Solaria, didn’t do them much good.’
And of course in season 3 we learn that Stella is actually very insecure and believes people like her just because of her looks and get one of the best moments/episodes of the entire series.
Yes. Stella cares about her appearance and loves fashion, but there is so much more to her character than that. She is a loyal friend, incredibly kind person and willing to do anything for those she loves.
Now let’s look at Fate’s Stella
………..
I am just… Fate turned our Stella into a bitchy mean girl. That is all Stella really is.
Even in season 2 she still acts like a mean girl to the rest of the girls most of the time. I never felt her bond with any of the girls or even Sky for that matter, her best scenes were easily with Bea.
I just don’t understand how they missed the entire fucking point of Stella’s character and made her exactly into the stereotype she was supposed to subvert. How do you fuck up that much?!?!!?!?!
She tried to fucking KILL BLOOM OVER A GUY!!! The original Stella would’ve killed her with her staff for even laying a FINGER on her bestie.
Stella’s character in Fate might just be the one that pisses me off the most because of how much they missed the fucking mark with her.
They made her literally everything she stood against and then acted like they did something when she did the bare minimum for her ‘friends’.
And I cannot bring myself to care about the drama with her mom because of how fucking pissed I am about this.
Okay let’s think about it. This could’ve worked if Stella was only acting like a bitch because her mom expected that but, in the rare instances when she was sure no one was watching and no one would noticed, she revealed her soft side to the girls and they were like ‘Oh, this is the real Stella, bitchy Stella is just a mask’ but it doesn’t go like that.
Even after the reveal of her mom, she’s still a bitch!
Our Stella would never and I hate whoever thought this was a good idea, you sir or ma’am are stupid and the whole point of Stella’s character flew right over your fucking head! (No hate to the actress or any actors in the series though)
Why Musa Kinda Works But Really Doesn’t (A Musa Deep Dive)
I was wrong before. Musa is actually the one I’m least pissed off about because I actually kinda enjoyed her character in Fate, especially in the second season. (Doesn’t excuse the fucking white washing though).
I think out of the girls Musa would’ve probably been the easiest to adapt into a more ‘mature’ setting cause she is kinda the ‘angstiest’ of the girls due to her mom’s death and being the tomboy of the group. However… the Musa we know can be a little sassy and get annoyed with the girls from time to time but with Fate Musa, it’s a lot more prevalent.
Which makes sense with the change to a mind fairy (which I hate, can you imagine all the cool visuals we could’ve gotten if they’d kept her as the fairy of music? Also they still could’ve had the empath thing with her being able to ‘hear the songs in people’s hearts’ and just cranking that up to eleven).
I actually don’t have that much to say about Musa. I enjoyed her character, especially in the second season, I feel like she’s the only one that’s reasonably lashing out and it makes sense when she’s annoyed and I feel like we got to see her soft side in a few moments and she was involved with all of my favorite moments of Fate.
The only issue is that she’s angstier than the original Musa but again, it actually makes sense this time.
The only thing I am actually pissed off at is that we lost her dynamics with Tecna and Aisha cause there is no Fate Tecna and Fate Musa doesn’t really interact with Aisha and when she does it’s a far cry from their cool original dynamic and her chemistry with Terra isn’t enough to make up for it.
Was Terra Necessary? What Made her Unique? (A Terra Deep Dive)
So, we all know what happened with Terra. They white washed half the cast realized that we would obviously be pissed and tried to save it by changing Flora’s name to Terra and saying she was a new character… nice try.
Also as a latina myself, fuck you. If you’re going to claim you were going for plus-size diversity you do realize you could’ve just gotten a plus-size latina right? Anyways, fuck you.
So Terra… I don’t really care about her and kinda dislike her. I’ll admit that I am very much biased due to Flora being my fave and my latina rage but I just don’t find Terra interesting.
I don’t know what it is about her that makes her rambling annoying instead of endearing or whatever it is they were going for. They didn’t really give her anything interesting to do, she literally just had the ‘I’m fat self-confidence’ arc. I think I might’ve kinda liked Terra if she’d had something interesting to do.
The only scenes I genuienly enjoyed with her were her conversation with Riven (right before the final fight if I remember correctly) and her talk with Musa while Sam is dying... Coincidentally the moments she reminded me more of Flora…
Then in the second season she had a super weird attitude with Flora, I wasn’t sure if she was jealous or angry or what it just made her that much weirder to me, like, what the fuck was going on there? I don’t really think we ever got an answer for her weird behavior with Flora, cause I’m not buying it was just cause of Riven. That was weird.
The only girl she really bounces off of is Musa, and even then it mostly feels like Terra is following Musa around hoping for some love. None of her friendships really feel reciprocal. And her behavior with Stella is also weird as fuck. Like… you like it when she insults you? What?
Yeah she’s just weird and I don’t really like her. I feel like she brings nothing to the table. There is no real reason for her to be there. If they were going to try and replace Flora, they should’ve at least tried to make her cool and iconic.
From Hero to Zero (An Aisha Deep Dive/Rant)
Pffftttttt… okay let me get this straight. You took Aisha. Icon Aisha who climbed a fortress for her pixy friends, was a Princess that was pretty much a runaway and a sports goddess who challenged the boys and easily had the most depth/cool backstory from the Winx.
You took that Aisha… and gave us *checks notes* ‘Oh yeah, I flooded a hall in my school with literal shit once’ as her backstory.
Okay cool, I see how it is.
But seriously though. They made Aisha into an annoying teacher’s pet who kinda felt a little full of herself from time to time but was also constantly ignored as the voice of reason and had no arc of her own, instead acting as a therapist/scapegoat for the other girls.
Why is that? I think we all know the answer to that…
But yeah, I just… I am so tired. They reduced her to… to nothing really. She doesn’t feel interesting or compelling at all. I felt no connection to her and most of the time it felt like the other girls only spoke to her when they needed something from her.
In season 2 we get a little more about how she feels pressured by her parents to be perfect (which kinda alines with the cartoon) and she talks about not being experienced at relationships, which also makes sense with the cartoon, but it honestly still doesn’t feel like enough.
It still doesn’t feel like she’s actual friends with any of the girls.
They took away a lot… most of what made Aisha into one of the most well-developed Winx. She doesn’t feel fun like cartoon Aisha did, she’s uptight which just doesn’t make sense if she’s supposed to be Aisha.
She was just done dirty. Our Aisha was never so much as implied to be a teacher’s pet. She was more into dancing and sports and exploring.
Winx Aisha was a girl who’d been trapped most of her life, excited to finally get to be a a free soul and explore the world. Fate Aisha is stripped of all of that and we don’t really see why she’s so uptight outside of that one conversation about her parents where we still don’t get any real depth.
My girl deserved so much more and I will die pissed.
Why Sky Somehow was the Most Interesting One but Still Boring (A Sky Deep Dive)
Sky makes me feel conflicted. I think he (along with Musa) was the only one I genuienely liked and enjoyed watching but at the same time he annoys me.
I loved his dynamic with Silva but I just… I don’t even know how to describe what it is exactly that annoys me about him but he’s just not interesting enough. I’ve literally forgotten almost any scene that he is in.
I’m trying to remember right now and the only scenes I can remember are the mansplaining scene, when Bloom drugs him, when he comforts Stella, one or two scenes with Silva… and when he beats Dane’s ass… and that’s literally it.
He’s not that bad, he’s got interesting dynamics and a cool story behind him and with the revelations in the series, he is one of the most affected, so in paper that should get you to be invested but… he’s just not memorable.
Why Riven will Always Get the Short End of the Stick (A Riven Deep Dive/Rant)
One of the things that annoys me the most from the original Winx Club is how Riven is pretty much reset every season to learn the same lesson over and over and over again.
This is because his scene in the Cloud Tower dungeons when he sees himself as a monster and decides to change is one of my fave in the series and probably my fave scene in all of season 1. So having him be reset was just… such a disservice to that awesome scene and to his character as a whole.
I think we can all agree that Riven could’ve been such an amazing and iconic character if he’d been allowed to slowly grow and if we’d seen him mature over the seasons.
So in this aspect… a part of me really likes Fate Riven. He’s an absolute ass and a bit biphobic but I like the possibility of taking this and allowing him to grow after his whole mess with Beatrix (I kinda loved the chaos of their relationship up until they got Dane involved).
The set up is there and we really see him try to move on in season 2 which I love. He still has his moments of being an ass, but through a few conversations with Sky and his bond with Musa we do see him trying to grow.
However, I would’ve loved to see him be more vulnerable. Sometimes it feels like instead of his own character he’s there to bounce off of Bea, Sky or Musa. I don’t know I just feel like he has a lot of potential but for some reason he just doesn’t feel like a complete character to me. Maybe this would’ve been fixed in season 3 but we’ll never know.
All in all he was one of my fave parts of Fate, especially in season 2. Whether he would’ve been allowed to keep his progress unlike his cartoon counterpart, we’ll never know.
I feel like the more mature setting actually kinda fits Riven. Though I’ll be the first to admit that the writers occasionally tried too hard to maintain his ‘bad boy’ image in season 1 and I cringed a few times at his lines.
But he was one of my fave parts of season 2. So overall I’d say that, in a way, Fate actually improved Riven ever so slightly.
Bea Could’ve Saved the Show, BUT- (A Beatrix Rant)
So, I love Bea. She was my fave character in Fate, she’s just a chaotic gremlin and quite frankly she deserved better.
Her dynamics with Riven, Stella and Bloom were excellent. I love how manipulative she is, it makes her vulnerable moments all the better. When she goes to the Winx dorm crying to ask Stella to hang out but gets rejected and she just looks on at the group having fun like an outsider… That scene got me.
It’s a little confusing how she goes from menace in season 1 to kinda a teacher’s pet in season 2 but it kinda makes sense and she does become a menace again so it’s cool.
I both love and hate her ending. I love her constantly switching sides, being unpredictable, turning around last minute and going ‘I just saved the world, feels pretty great to be a fucking hero’, I love that concept but I hate her just being thrown away and killed like she hadn’t been carrying the show.
I don’t think they saw the amount of potential that Bea had, personally I would watch an entire show all about Bea. Them just killing her shows me that she was only really a plot device to the writers, a way to introduce her mysterious sisters. And I hate that.
Bea was the wildcard of Fate, the character plenty of us thought we’d hate but that ended up being a diamond in the rust. She was cunning and had the best of all the Trix, Darcy’s plot line with Riven and her manipulation, Stormy’s powers and chaotic energy, Icy’s ambition, personality and charisma.
Quite frankly, she’s probably the character with the most depth and motivations. She’s the most interesting.
And they killed her off for shock value.
I hate that we lost the Trix’s dynamic and different personalities but for me personally Bea was worth it, she was an awesome character who deserved to be in a better series. But yeah… I love Bea but even she wasn’t enough to save this shit show.
Why Flora Mattered (A Flora Deep Dive/Rant)
Disclaimer, I am very much biased here, even more than before cause Flora was always my favorite Winx. Now with that out of the way…
I think one of the reasons that Flora mattered so much is that she was never shamed for being very feminine. Flora was a cottage core, soft hearted, kind, soft spoken young girl who was still allowed to be strong and a badass. She was never made more ‘masculine’ to show her being strong. Her transformations always involved skirts and dresses, bright pinks, long flowy hair, bracelets and necklaces and cute tiaras.
She was never shamed for her girlieness nor stereotyped as someone overly shy. Flora could have a few shy moments but they were pretty rare in the large scheme of things.
She was shown to be incredibly smart, especially in seasons 1 and 2 with her love of potions. Flora gives the girls a lot of support and a safe place but we also see her be vulnerable and insecure, but she never changes her girliness nor does she feel the need to ‘grow out of her girly traits’ to gain confidence or confront her fears, she also doesn’t feel the need to ‘toughen up’ keeping her soft heart throughout the entire series.
I love this. I loved that Flora was so soft but never shamed or considered ‘weak’ for it. She mattered cause she was there for the more sensitive girls. The more introverted, soft spoken girls.
The girly girls that can still be just as strong and confident as any other woman despite loving pink and flowers and skirts.
I think that’s a big part of why Flora matters. She’s allowed to be a heroine with a soft heart that is never forced into an angsty personality because of the events that occur around her. She’s a special kind of softness. She’s not the kindness that comes from naivety but the kindness that is forged in steel from tough experiences.
We eventually got Fate Flora but I don’t think she really captured the essence of OG Flora, she just doesn’t feel like the soft, introverted, gentle soul we know.
She feels a little… full of herself? In a way?
I won’t talk much about Fate Flora cause I can’t truly put my finger on what it is that just throws me off about her.
But I’m pissed that they truly thought they could get away with tossing Flora to the side, cause we all know they only included her in season 2 to try and save their asses.
Because soft, sensitive girls deserve to see themselves represented without the whole ‘break-out-of-your-shell-and-become-more-wild arc’. Because soft girls can be complete and happy without becoming party animals. That was what Flora was to me. That’s why she mattered so much to me personally growing up.
That is why Flora mattered.
Why Helia and Timmy Mattered: A Retrospective Look at Soft Boys (A Helia and Timmy Deep Dive/Rant)
Now, I am honestly glad that Helia and Timmy weren’t included because they would’ve botched it.
So, I always adored Helia but, looking back on him and Timmy now I almost find them surprising that these two were incorporated into the show the way that they were.
Helia was the definition of a soft boy, he was into poetry and art, he wore loose shirts, had long hair, was soft spoken, loved to meditate and was introduced as a pacifist, but he was also a Specialist. Something I really liked was that instead of a sword he had his strings which incorporated his way of being a pacifist into his Specialist gear.
There were never jokes about him being Helia being gay and he was portrayed as attractive, the second Flora meets him she’s already blushing and giggling. Helia is a poet, a sensitive boy in a school filled with soldiers and warriors, but they rarely make fun of him for it, and when they do it clearly is meant to be in a teaseful way amongst friends. And we see the boys go to him for advise.
And then we have Timmy. Timmy is a nerd. He has a laser gun instead of a sword and is more of a pilot and tech guy. He’s shy and socially awkward, lanky, and his portrayl is very dorky.
In season 2 we see him doubt himself as a Specialist when he can’t stop the Trix, the same happens in season 4 when he is chasing Anagan.
But we see that at his core, Timmy is an incredibly courageous person. He goes after Anagan even when he’s doubting himself. The boys may tease him occasionally but they never treat him as an outsider and in fact try to help him, even when it backfires, it’s done from a desire to help their friend.
Timmy may consider himself as the weak one, but he is never portrayed as the weak link in the Specialists. We see that his role is a crutial one.
In season 3 we see him break down when he thinks that Tecna is dead, but his tears and despair are never considered to be ‘weak’ or ‘exaggerated’.
We see all the boys break down at the end of season 4.
And that is something important. Especially for a cartoon in the 2010′s.
Seeing soft and dorky boys be portrayed as heroes was a great thing that we shouldn’t forget.
The Winx Club never revolved around the Specialists, they could’ve all been just the generic hero, but we see the small difference between Sky, Riven and Brandon and then we get Timmy and Helia who are completely different and not what you’d first think off when you think ‘heroes in training’.
This is an extension of Flora’s softness and kindness never being something that she is ashamed of or for.
Helia is allowed to be a poet and to love meditating and to be a bit of a pacifist whilst still being strong and a hero in his own right. Saving Flora in his introduction and Sky later in season 2. He is never shamed for being the sensitive one.
Timmy has a lot of self-doubt. But he is allowed to grow, he is allowed to be a nerd and dorky and socially awkward whilst still being a fundamental part of the group. His intelligence is portrayed as an advantage not a freak trait. He may be teased for being the nerdy one from time to time but he is never bullied or shamed for it.
And they are both allowed to have good love stories. Helia and Flora, two gentle souls that find each other and are like Snow on the Beach, falling for each other at the first time.
Then we have Timmy and Tecna, where it seems that Timmy falls first but doesn’t know how to act and Tecna always cares about him but seems to catch feelings a bit later on. That it takes them a long time to officially become something because they are both unconventional in their own way. And when they go on a date and feel stressed they decide ‘Screw doing this the traditional and ‘normal’ way, we’re doing it our own way’.
From what we see in Fate, I can tell they much prefer angsty characters. And Helia and Timmy would never have been allowed to be soft.
We saw 2 kinda soft boys in Fate. Dane who was just… a bit of a train wreck to me. He was an ass to Terra and was just super weird with Bea and Riven and was just willing to go along with whatever Bea said and then we have Sam who I wouldn’t exactly describe as a soft boy and well… he almost killed someone in season 2 so… yeah. He’s just boring and with zero depth to me.
If they’d been in Fate Helia would probably be emo or very angsty and Timmy would probably have been bullied a lot more. So I’m glad they weren’t included at all.
Because soft and sensitive boys shouldn’t be erased. They are important, especially when the stigma against them is still kinda strong.
We need this in the media, we need to see boys loving poetry and being proud to be a bit dorky and nerdy. We need to see boys crying and breaking down and not being ashamed or shamed for it. We need boys that are absolutely in love and not be teased for it.
Angsty boys can be fun to watch, but soft boys are also important. We need more of them.
The Forgotten Protectors (A Brandon and Nabu Rant)
When I think about it, I think that Brandon as a character, at his core, is a protector. He is Sky’s squire and is willing to trade places to keep him safe. He tries to keep Stella safe, is willing to risk his life to get Sky back in season 3 and well… he’s a Specialist so this is clearly what he loves.
Brandon was always a support character, he’s never really given a lot of backstory or traits outside of being a dedicated Specialist, being charismatic and sometimes flirty and caring deeply about his friends and Stella.
Brandon is a fun character not because of his depth but because he’s just a great guy. He’s charismatic, definitely an optimist and cracks jokes in the middle of a fight. When Timmy struggles over why Tecna is mad at him, Brandon is randomly punching the air and offers him hair product.
I would classify him as a himbo.
Brandon worked as this protector character, especially since not many of the Specialists had a lot of depth. And I always loved him,
So I’m glad he wasn’t in Fate cause, again, they would have erased his optimism and just, slightly goofy instances for an angstier attitude.
To me, Brandon’s main purpose in the show was to be a protector and a friend. He was the voice of reasons amongst the boys, especially in seasons 1 and 2. He’s there for his friends and would do anything for them.
I think Brandon could have perhaps benefitted from a more mature setting, mainly to get more depth but I think the Fate writers would’ve fucked it up. I don’t think they could handle having a non-angst, let alone an optimistic character.
Then we have Nabu, our second forgotten protector. I call him a protector mainly due to his sacrifice in season 4. All I have to say is… Nabu was a fun character. He was a bit weird in the beginning but we got to see he was calm, had extreme trust in Aisha.
We only had him for a season so I really don’t have much to say about him other than… I cannot see any iteration of Nabu working with Fate Aisha. I just don’t.
I can’t see either of them in Fate not just because they’d be fucked over but also just because I can’t see their characters fitting the ambience.
I don’t know why but to me Brandon and Nabu just emanate happy calm vibes and I can’t see that working with Fate’s desperate need for shitty angst.
Why Tecna is Often Discarded and Why She Shouldn’t Be (A Tecna Deep Dive/Rant)
I think most of us can agree that Tecna is neurodivergent coded. Most consider her to be autistic.
In the OG, Tecna rarely gets to be the center of attention, but when she does, man does she shine. I love Tecna because her arc throughout the seasons isn’t necessarily about changing to fit in, but it’s more about growing into yourself if that makes sense.
Tecna doesn’t change her personality or who she is, she doesn’t try to mask how she is. The only thing she really does is working on expressing her emotions and showing that she cares about her friends, but this doesn’t equal her changing or suppressing her quirks and more neurodivergent tendencies, which I think is just beautiful.
I think that’s a great example on how to write an autistic character growing into themselves (though I myself am not autistic so feel free to correct me on that if you have feelings about Tecna being seen as autistic),
In season 3, we see the way the club literally falls apart when they think she’s dead. We see that they love her and when Tecna reunites with Bloom in Omega, she is crying cause she knew that her friends would find her.
This is the moment that cemented for me that these girls would truly go to the end of the world for each other.
Those episodes in season 3 may be some of the best, and my favorites, in the entire series.
Tecna is the character that is underrated, and who some may believe doesn’t add much to the story, but when she’s gone it hits you like holy shit, in a way she is the glue of the group.
She may not always be the voice of reason but the girls know to always listen to her cause when she’s determined to figure something out, she will do just that. They know that they can count on her.
She is a pillar in the group, just as much as the other girls, even if the show doesn’t always give her a spotlight, we know that it’s true.
And… Fate just threw her out the window.
The fucking disrespect.
I personally think they just didn’t want to be bother with a complex character like Tecna.
I just… I hate that they couldn’t even be bothered to try while another part of me is glad that they didn’t ruin her with an angsty hacker take on her.
But my girl deserved better.
Anyways, on to the final section…
How Fate Failed To Capture the Essence of the Winx Club
How Fate Forgot the Most Important Aspect of the Winx Club: Friendship Amongst Young Women
The final section is something I’ve already touched on a bit but, in Fate, the girls aren’t friends. They barely feel like decent roommates.
I will never forgive the way they disregarded Stella and Bloom’s beautiful bond. They were each other’s person, they were bonded for life and truly they were just THE besties ya know?
And Fate just made them into competitors. There is not a single moment in the entire two seasons that they felt like friends, let alone besties. I cannot picture OG Bloom and Stella EVER acting like their Fate counterparts. Like my girls would rather die than do each other dirty like that.
Then we have Aisha. In the OG Aisha had 2 amazing bonds, Musa and Flora. We all know how big SonicWave is. Musa and Aisha immediately connected, they went clubbing and got into a bit of trouble together and Musa was the first to really understand Aisha’s backstory, and we see Musa trust Aisha with her boy problems.
Aisha and Flora feel like besties, they’re there for each other and have casual chats in the middle of the night.
With Stella, especially in season 4, Aisha and Stella can but heads from time to time but they know that their friendship will always prevail because all the girls are bonded for life.
None of that is present in Fate. In Fate when they butted heads I couldn’t care less. I just wanted to slap Stella because she was being a bitch and I was annoyed by Aisha. She doesn’t really interact with Musa and Terra isn’t Flora so it doesn’t work. And she and Bloom don’t feel like friends. Not really.
There is no Fate Tecna so we have no chance to get the amazing chemistry between Musa and Tecna, those two were perfect as besties, they just worked so well.
It’s just… so many amazing bonds and friendships and dynamics all thrown away for the sake of angst, drama and useless conflict.
The event that sets into motion the entire story of the Winx Club is Bloom running into Stella and choosing to help her. It’s Stella deciding to help this girl she just met get into Alfea because they just immediately bond and that’s who Stella is.
The very first time the girls hang out, when Bloom is attacked, the other girls don’t hesitate to join in on the fight to save Bloom, not necessarily because they’re close at this point but because all these girls would never just stand back when something like this is going on. But as their friendships and bonds grow, we quickly see that they are all ride or die.
They don’t fight over boys, if they tease or take things too far, they apologize. They may but heads and get into fights but they know (and we know) that their friendship will always prevail.
In Fate… they’re not even friends, let alone besties, let alone ride or die besties that would go to the ends of the world for each other.
All of those bonds and friendships are just… nonexistent .
How can Fate claim to be an adaptation of the Winx Club when they throw away the most important aspect of the show?
In the show, friendships always take center stage, romances always felt like sideplots or add ons, not the main drama, or they were rarely the main drama. And when romance was the main drama, there would be an inevitable scene of the girls comforting each other. (Stella comforting Bloom. Tecna, Bloom and Stella comforting Flora about Crystal. Musa letting out her frustrations about Riven with Aisha. The girls helping prepare Tecna for a date, etc.)
Friendship was the bloodline of Winx Club. And Fate somehow… missed that.
I’m too tired and frustrated to make an actual outro and I’ve been working on this for literal weeks so… that… is the end.
#winx#winx club#winx rewrite#winx headcanons#winx fanfic#winx headcannon#winx season 3#winx headcannons#winx fate#fate the winx club#fate the winx saga#winx bloom#winx sky#winx stella#winx brandon#winx flora#winx helia#winx musa#winx riven#winx tecna#winx timmy#winx aisha#winx terra#fate terra#fate beatrix#winx beatrix#winx: the thesis#fate: the thesis#winx vs fate#why fate is a disgrace
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This will more than likely be the last one of these I have. So, for the last time, here is my live reaction to the final season of TMA. These will be in no particular order because ice been listening to it over the span of a couple of weeks. I only listen to it at work.
TMA S5 Spoilers ahead
The cabin episode made me so sad. The eyepocolypse had even taken away their domestic bliss
I really don't remember the trenches that well. It's not a fear of mine, so it didn't shake me or stick well enough. Still good tho
The sickness episode sent me right back to senior year of highschool. I had to take a minute KXNSKXN
REVOLUTIONS WAS AMAZING I LOVED THE POETRY AND THE ACENGING OF SASHA BY KILLING NOT!SASHA. I love it.
At first I thought the worms was about Jane again but I was very wrong. It was a very interesting take!
Curiosity made me incredibly sad. I feel bad for Eric, Micheal, and Sarah(? Trinity? I don't remember. She was set on fire by a desolation avatar I think)
Also: Gertrude x Agnes perhaps???? Or at least solemn pinning? Maybe I just think it's slightly tragic to make it so and sometimes angst is good yknow?
Roots was ok, but the only part that stuck out to me was the jealous Martin scene. I listened to it like 3 times. I kept rewinding it just to list to it.
Fire Escape was SO good! It gave me a kind of manic energy as I listened to the descriptions of the fire.
Martin in the Lonely again made me cry. That's it.
"Who's this? Your boyfriend?" "Yes actually." "Oh...so is there anyway this doesn't end in me dead?"
The Basira and Daisy stuff actually did make me feel bad for Basira. Like, it's the apocalypse and she's having a whole ass crisis.
SALESA WAS INCREADIBLE
I wonder how he faked his death... man is talented and smart, I'll give him that
Skipping ahead to Martin's domain. Loved that. My boy isn't strictly human and I love that he can't deny that fact anymore.
Martin: Something something "one of you"
Jon, being a smug theater kid bastard boy: "One of us."
Like I heard that and I imagined him smirking ominously and gesturing with both his hands
He sounded so pleased that his boyfriend, as miniscule a role it had or that martin had, was like him, and I love that for him
I'm so glad Melanie and Georgie are happy. Though, the cult does weird me out (cults give me the heebie jeebies. It was a very nice touch!)
They deserve nice things.
Also, my favorite of the Cult members was Anil's character. I can't remember his name right off the top of my head, but he was wonderful. Anil did amazing with that little cameo/role
The scene where's he's arguing with Martin reminds me of that Jojo meme with jotoro and dio, but instead of stands they have their poetry clutched tight in their fists
"I dont need a poet." No, Jon, because you already have one. His name is Martin
Of course Jon gets trapped in the ocean when he doesn't have big string martin to row him out of it XD
SOMEWHERE ELSE SOMEWHERE ELSE SOMEWHERE ELSE
Annabelle Cane is wonderful, I'm so glad Jon didn't kill her. She's so chummy with Martin up until she has to be a dramatic villain and I love that for her!
The ladder episode made me grin like a maniac manly because I would be the Martin in that situation. I love the feeling of falling/floating, but I hate actually getting myself to fall. I physically can't do it. I can barely dive into the lake from my papaw's boat
Martin, there are thousands of fanfics that dive into you two getting together without the trauma. Don't even.
NO JON THE PLAN
Hey, real elias! That's where him being a stoner comes from! Because he is one! Nice.
I love og Elias, and I would protect him with my life I don't care.
Oh wait it was just Magnus dreaming
JON NO THE PLAN FUCKING HELL
I almost cried when Martin was yelling at Jon. The boys are fighting
THE KISS HOLY SHIT ALEX SAKD THEY WOULDNT KISS THEY KISSED AH
They're somewhere else being happy and domestic now you can't change my mind
#basira hussain#the magnus archives#jonathan sims#martin blackwood#mag 200#tma s5#tma s5 spoilers#melanie king#georgie#their cult ig#mikaele salesa#alice daisy tonner#jonmartin#somewhere else#annabelle cane
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there are some things that are missed/ignored in the narrative of mbav.
in both the movie and the show, there's hardly anything "deep" in the story being told outside of "defeating evil with the power of love and friendship", which is a great message, but there's something people overlook. very easily. a lot of children's media have its central theme based on the power of friendship, reforming the darkness of a monster's wild nature, love and hardships and downfalls, compassion, learning to be better, and none of those are themes mbav skips out on.
i wanna talk about love and hardships and darkness for a second.
we all know what the metaphor between sarah and jesse stands for; he robs her of her innocence and forces her to choose between obedience and death. jesse stalks sarah, preys upon her, and doesn't care if her mortal body is unsuitable for his curse, and even at the end of the movie sarah is helpless to fight off her vampirism, her responsibility to take care of herself, her poison. these are things even benny and ethan can't fix, they just let her handle that on her own throughout the first season.
jesse does not love sarah, and sarah resents jesse even during his "reformation" arc in season two. turns out existing as a shadow in the mind of a 15 year old boy really does damage, or something similar. jesse still believes that vampirism will save her, and forces her to choose his path, to feed into his urges, become part of his future that sarah never once wanted to dive into. she does it to save ethan, her trusted friend who doesn't necessarily benefit from visions the way erica benefits from her vampirism or benny benefits from his magic. if there is one thing to be kept "pure," to be kept from having to make the same choices she was forced into, it is ethan.
and people miss this. people don't get it, or at least they see it as plot instead of reality.
when sarah is manipulated by a representation of pressure and non-consent, and has to save her only friend who understands her desire to keep her mortality from her abuser's violation, what do we learn from this? when erica, her friend, and fellow victim, revels in her decision to accept their doomed reality, is it an unseen tragedy? when a young girl is in a relationship with a man who does not love her, who forces her to choose death (silence) or poison (ridicule), who benefits from his world of vampirism (admiration, financial success, etc), what do people not see in them, what is so prominent in the media they are a fan of? what do they miss? what do they ignore?
in this case, "friendship defeating darkness" and keeping the sanctity of someone's integrity, of their worth as a human being, is as simple as allyship with victims. it is that simple.
understanding the context and narratives displayed in mbav is not difficult if you understand right and wrong, even if it has nuances in everyday life you don't think about. supporting and listening to the victim, empathizing with their social digitalscape-exclusive brand of poison is not a chore, nor a challenge. even if the vampire can give you immortality and flight.
stop defending atticus mitchell.
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Entryway to heavens, a.k. the BL genre!
As requested by @weiying-tododeku-2023 , who wanted to dip their toes into the genre, I, Nora, am once again here to compile a recommendation list that you can take a peek. Most titles here won't be any news to my seasoned fujin frens, but it's always interesting to think of which manga or anime would be the best for a newcomer!
BL ANIME
We don't have many options to choose from when it comes to anime, so I might as well start from here.
Stranger by the Shore: This 1-hour, gorgeous movie is an adaptation from Kii Kanna's manga of the same name. Since it's short, I think it's better to focus on what the plot has to offer instead of expecting a deeper dive into the characters individually.
Sasaki and Miyano: Another manga adaptation, but this time it's 12-episode series (with a +1 OVA). Very sweet and emotionally rich coming-of-age story with a fudanshi as its MC. A must see!
NO.6: Less like a BL and more of a sci-fi anime with queer MCs, NO.6 is not exactly suitable for a newcomer, but I still wanted to include it because of its tender story and the companionship between Shion and Nezumi. So you shouldn't expect a big emphasis on romance.
Bonus: This Boy is a Professional Wizard: This is a 4-episode short anime. It's honestly gorgeous and cute, but not very "deep" as every episode is around 8 minutes. You can finish it in one sitting!
There are so many other popular (and great) BLs or action/sports series that have queer characters out there: Given, Banana Fish, Yuuri!! on ICE, Doukyuusei, Case Study of Vanitas, The Case Files of Jeweler Richard, The Night Beyond the Tricornered Window, Antique Bakery, Yes No or Maybe? etc. They are already popular so with a quick search you can find more about them as you finish the ones you've started!
BL MANGA
Now, this... is a challenge. There are SO MANY good stuff that it's hard to pick, so I decided to go with my gut xD
I Didn't Mean To Fall In Love (Suzumaru Minta): There's something in this series that just.. UGH! It hits me. I have reviewed it before so you can head over there to find more information, synopsis, and my thoughts.
Love Tractor (Hmmyongyong & Angrymonster): I started reading it for the sake of the challenge I mentioned above but what a joy this one turned out to be!! Has great balance of fun and drama, gorgeous to boot. The main story is finished but there'll be a continuation! Here's my review.
Here and There and Us (Thanat): This is a very interesting work (as any other Thanat work, I'm a huge fan of the artist) and it's less focused on the romance and more on the main characters and their friend circle navigating their high school life and the the ever-changing relationship between them. If you're looking for something that's more slow burn, this should be your go-to BL.
Under My Skin (Usui Iroha): People tend to stay away from spicy recommendations for newcomers but I say, why not give it a go! Usui Iroha has a way of drawing sultry gazes that'll make your heart skip a beat! I'm taking a break now, but I normally review a new BL title every Friday, and I've also reviewed Under My Skin before because it's THAT good.
Dream Away (Hana Lee): If you like a sprinkle of supernatural on your plate, then this is for you. The art style is simple yet eye catching, it's short and completed, the characters are wholesome; what more you could ask for!
Bonus - Swing Baby (Mudan): This manhwa, again, is a bit different. It does feel like it has supernatural elements at first and is a bit confusing (bc there's an interesting stylistic choice in narration) but it'll feel worth sticking to! Here's another Friday BL review if you'd like to check some screenshots out and read the synopsis.
And that's it! Welcome aboard and hopefully, at least one of these titles will be to your liking. Thank you for sending an ask, see you around!
#allthefujoshiunite answers#bl manga#yaoi recommendation#yaoi manhwa#i didn't mean to fall in love#love tractor#dream away#here and there and us#swing baby#under my skin#stranger by the shore#no.6#sasaki and miyano#this boy is a professional wizard#bl anime
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Let's talk Destiny
Yesterday we got the first teaser trailer for The Sandman Season 2. This included casting announcements for Destiny, Delirium, and "The Prodigal" who most of us Sandman fans know to be Destruction.
I recently found out that last night someone in my Sandman Facebook group complained that Destiny does not "look" blind.
As a visually impaired woman let me ask... how are blind people supposed to look? Head rolling around for no reason? Black sunglasses and white cane?
Some blind people do wear sunglasses. Many use a cane. A few have other disabilities or conditions that make their head roll. Many stereotypes are rooted in some grain of truth. However...
I am considered legally blind (technically it's borderline legally blind). I am not actually blind. I just have very poor eyesight. I can't see distance or small print very well. And I cannot drive.
I can read, I can distinguish color quite well. I just have very poor eyesight.
And I can tell you from my own experience and friends with different eyesight problems that many blind people can "Pass" for sighted. They walk around perfectly "normal." They memorize staircases so they can skip or run up and down the stairs without fear of tripping. It's not like the movies where they're groping around and always cautious. I memorize staircases completely unconsciously. And I can race up and down them in total darkness.
In The Sandman comics Destiny is blind or "seeing everything all at once."
I do not know if The Sandman Netflix series will depict Destiny as blind or not, but as of right now I have NO complaints about how he is depicted here. If he's blind, he's blind. I do not feel there is anything about the way he looks that a blind person cannot pull off.
Also Adrian Lestar is a damn good actor. I watched him back when he appeared in the original (better) UK Being Human which was a really good show (at least for the first season or two. After Mitchell was killed off the show nose dived). Note, he was in the original pilot as Herrick, but not the finished show. The only actor kept from the pilot was George.
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TS-19
Chapter Nine: Written in My Stars
Summary: After a long day's ride, sanctuary is discovered. But not all is what it seems in their newly found safe haven.
Daryl Dixon x Reader
Series Masterlist | Playlist
Chapter Warnings: descriptions of walkers/dead bodies, mentions of blood & needles, suggestive content, mentions of death, suicide, and lotsss of angst.
wc: 10.2k
A/n: This is the longest chapter of all s1 ahaha.. afraid to say they're just gonna get longer as I go on writing this fic. But... as season 1 concludes I'm ready to dive into writing season two when my semester ends, so it'll be a while before that happens. Enjoy this last chapter <33
The light penetrated your vision as it poured out from the large doorway. Gasps of disbelief were heard as Rick raced up to the entrance. The glass doors were heavy but when you pushed them open, a blast of cool air flooded your body.
"Hello?" Rick called into the building, the others spreading out as you all advanced into the building.
Upon first look, it was ominous. For one, the place was completely clean. There was no debris on the floor, no stench of rotting corpses, dead or alive, no blood anywhere to be seen. The high ceilings and windows only intimidated you further. Almost hidden behind Daryl's large figure, you followed him inside, bow drawn.
"Watch for walkers," someone spoke. There wasn't a chance your group would take a step further inside if even one of those dead freaks showed their faces. Where there's one, there's always more, and you knew the group wouldn't take that chance.
Frantic faces glanced about, searching for any sign to retreat out of the building.
How could this place still be standing?
Something was off about it, but you weren't sure what yet.
The unfamiliarity with what you'd seen in this building, versus what the outside world looked like, was unsettling. It concerned you more than the door even opening in the first place.
Clicking of a shotgun sounded from not too far away, your heart skipping a beat at the abrupt noise.
"Anybody infected?" A voice called out, holding a shotgun from down the hall. You didn't see the figure until you moved further into the lobby.
Holy shit. Maybe this is hope, you thought.
"One of our group was. He didn't make it." The sheriff stated, still holding his shotgun out as well.
"Do you see that guy?" you asked Daryl, walking to the side of him.
"Mhm.. don't know what he's got in store for us. But it'll do for now, that's for damn sure." He turned back to you, voice low but still in a mode of suspicion. You shot him a small smile and he turned back.
The man stepped closer, look on his face nervous, but you could tell he didn't want to have to shoot. None of you were infected, which changed his facial tone as he spoke again.
"Why are you here? What do you want?"
"A chance," Rick replied, out of breath from his yelling before.
"That's asking an awful lot these days."
Silence rang out as the unknown man's eyes trailed over every single one of you.
"You all submit to a blood test. That's the price of admission."
Rick nodded fervently, "We can do that."
"Once this door closes, it stays closed," The man said, walking towards Rick, his guard completely down at the moment. He rushed back with him, grabbing whatever bags were left in the vehicles, and entered the building again. As everyone rushes in, the blonde man swipes a keycard at the front entrance and states a command like he would to an assistant.
"Vi, seal the main entrance. Kill the power up here."
Who the hell is Vi?, you thought.
"Rick Grimes." The sheriff introduces himself to the blonde man.
"Dr. Edwin Jenner," he replied with shifty eyes.
Definitely suspicious, you thought to yourself. Shifty eyes, untrustworthiness, yeah. This guy's gonna have to convince me.
Jenner led you all to an elevator, where he let you all squeeze in, before pressing the lowest button of all levels.
Daryl, being the curious man he is, spoke up as the elevator ride turned to a cramped and silent one, "Doctors always go around packin' heat like that?"
He didn't trust good things like this often, always thought it was too good to be true. Though, Daryl was on his guard, ready to pierce an arrow through Jenner's skull if there was any sign of trouble.
"Well, there were plenty left lying around. Familiarized myself," he replied, looking back at all of you, "But you look harmless enough," he said, as he looked at Carl, "Except you. I'll have to keep my eye on you."
The boy smiled at his joke, making you smile a bit too. When you looked over at Daryl, his face was stoic, a version of his own mistrust his shield for the moment.
After piling out of the elevator, Jenner had you all walking down a long hallway. The place seemed like a maze, infinite doors and hallways you couldn't count. You and Daryl trailed behind everyone else, continuously marveling at the state of the place.
"Are we underground?" You asked, chest starting to tighten.
"You claustrophobic?" Jenner questioned, turning around as he walked ahead of the group.
"A little."
"Try not to think about it." He stated, turning back around.
Try not to think about it my ass, you thought, scoffing and continuing to walk with the group. The long hallway led to a massive room, filled with computers and one large screen on the wall.
"Vi, bring up the lights in the big room." Jenner's voice echoed out eerily, the clutter in the room not enough to mask the extensive shape of it.
There's that name again, Vi.
Daryl trudged into the room with you by his side, nervous at what was to come or what Jenner had in store for you all. As if on command, the room lit up with a ring of light hovering above all the computers.
"Welcome to Zone 5."
"Where is everybody? The other doctors? The staff?" Rick questioned, expecting more than just one man to be working at such an extensive place.
"I'm it. It's just me here." A moment of silence rang out as loud as the door opening had been, Lori breaking it with another question.
"What about the person you were speaking with? Vi?"
"Vi, say hello to our guests. Tell them, welcome."
The computer spoke, as if it had a mind of it's own.
Hello guests. Welcome.
You followed the Doctor down another hallway, as he brought you all to another room, one that looked like some sort of conference hall. Everyone took a seat against the wall or in one of the chairs.
"Sit tight, I'll be back with the equipment for everyone's blood tests." Jenner stated, before walking into another room off the one you were already all in.
"Ah shit, I hate needles," Daryl stated, taking a seat on one of the chairs. You scoffed at the irony of his statement.
"You're telling me big, bad Daryl Dixon is afraid of a little needle?" You inquired, turning to him as your weight flopped on the chair next to him.
"Didn't say I was scared, jus' said I didn't like 'em." He played with the strings of his bow as he replied. Sure, he'd been around needles before. But not in a medical context.
"Well, it's not that bad. Just a pinch, and if you're that bothered by it, don't look. That's what I do."
"You tellin' me you're scared of needles?" Daryl scoffed, realizing you two were more alike than he thought.
"All my life I've hated them, not shots at the doctor's, just whenever I needed an IV or blood drawn."
"Uh huh, we're the same then." He said, shrugging as he threw his head back on one of the seats.
"Guess we are." You sighed, doing the same.
Jenner came back into the room with several vials as well as other things he needed to take everyone's blood properly. He sat in the front of the room, as everyone watched the other's blood be taken. You went before Daryl, but he sat by your side, back turned to Jenner as he went on with drawing your blood. Once he finished, you turned to Daryl with a soft smile.
"See? Not so bad." He only grunted in response, taking the seat you'd been in a moment before.
A couple other group members took their turns, but when Andrea was in the seat, she had relentless questions.
"So, what's the point? If we were infected, we'd all be running a fever," Andrea stated from her seat across Jenner, as the vial filled.
"I've already broken every rule in the book letting you all in here. Let me at least be thorough." As soon as he was done, Jenner watched Andrea's light headed state take over, becoming light headed easily after barely any food. "Is she okay?"
"We haven't eaten in days, none of us have." Jacqui replied while helping Andrea sit. The look on his face had enough concern to fill an entire stadium, but he knew how to fix it.
Next thing you knew, you had been brought to a dining hall, sat next to the members of your group, shoveling food and booze into your mouth like there was no tomorrow.
A fit of laughter broke out amongst the people around you, relishing in the wine rushing through your system. Each bite of food was like heaven, filled with flavor and warmth that made you forget how abhorrent the world was outside the walls of the building. The euphoric tone it set for the group had Jacqui throwing her head back in a fit of laughter. You all seemed to be enjoying yourselves, food and drink coursing through your systems.
Your heart felt as full and content as it had once been, a long time before the world fell. It was a genuine, innocent time, one that couldn't be replicated or replaced. You were happy to just be caught in another moment like that after an extensive period without it.
When another fit of laughter broke out, it had been from Carl's reaction to the taste of wine. It brought tears to your eyes with how hard you were chuckling, smile lines beginning to ache from how big you had beamed from across the table.
Daryl noticed the shine from your smile from his seat, as he sat chugging the rest of his wine down.
You were chuckling loud enough for him to hear; he hadn't gotten to hear you laugh, genuinely and completely, ever. This was the first time he'd been lucky enough to do so. He stumbled, getting up to grab a fresh bottle.
"Why don't you stick to soda pop there, bud." Shane spoke.
"Not you Glenn," Daryl retorted, after grabbing another red wine bottle, walking back over to the table.
"What?" The dark haired man replied, cheesing so hard due to the buzz of alcohol in his system that his cheeks hurt.
"Keep drinkin', little man. I wanna see how red your face can get." He smirked, sitting back down at his seat. You burst out in a fit of drunken giggles yourself at Daryl's words. The alcohol in your system might have been distracting you from the horrors you'd seen the past few days, but to know you were there with these people you trusted made every torment wash away.
As you giggled to yourself, your eyes subconsciously found Daryl, sat across the table. His arms were poking out of that yellow plaid shirt, vest adorning his shoulders. His bicep muscles flex, moving ever so slightly, shaking your thoughts when you notice the group's conversation had died down a little.
Though Daryl's indulging himself thoroughly, he isn't blind to how Rick's gaze trails over to Jenner, sitting quietly and watching everyone around him in a corner. A moment later, Rick is clinking his glass and standing up.
"It seems to me, we haven't thanked our host properly."
"He is more than just our host," T-dog replied, raising his wine glass in a toast, causing you all to raise your glasses with him.
"Hear, hear!" Dale exclaims. The clinking of wine glasses overtook the man's words, as the others expressed their appreciation for him.
"Here's to you, doc. Booyah!" Daryl blurted out, the liquor in his system clearly taking over the usual grumpy attitude he always puts up.
It's got you giggling at him, again.
The laughter settles, and Shane starts to speak again. "So, when are you gonna tell us what the hell happened here, doc? All the uh- the other doctors that were supposed to be figuring out what happened, where are they?"
Though, Rick is quick to retort, not wanting to ruin the wholesome moment the group had going.
"We're celebrating, Shane. Don't need to do this now."
"Woah, wait a second. That's why we're here, right? This was your move- supposed to find all the answers. Instead we- we found him. Found one man, why?"
His persistence pisses you off slightly, but the alcohol in your system is too overtaking to have the strength to snap back at him.
Jenner goes on to explain that the rampage of dead walking corpses drove some to up and leave the facility. They hadn't been thinking straight, just wanted to get home to their friends or loved ones and spend whatever time they had left with them. On the off chance that those people didn't leave, some couldn't face the outside world, dead people walking and whatnot. The sheer brutality of it all. Some chose to opt out, as he'd said, taking their own lives in the hallways to avoid letting the terror that walked the streets into their minds. He'd only stayed in hopes of doing some good with what work he continued.
Silence rang out in fault of Shane, for bringing it up during a nice moment.
"Dude, you are such a buzzkill, man."
You all cleaned up the space after eating, then ended up following Jenner down yet another hallway, one filled with rooms available to get some rest in.
If i have to sleep on another cot, I'd just die.
"The couches are comfortable, but there are cots in storage, if you'd like."
Oh, great.
The alcohol is running through your system at such a fast rate that your brain doesn't pick up anything else that Jenner says, until he mentions the showers.
"If you shower, go easy on the hot water."
"Hot water?" Glenn repeats, an overjoyed smile on his face now.
"That's what the man said.." T-dog replied, smiling as well.
He meets your eyes, his bright facial expression turning yours into one as you realize how long it's been since you've taken a shower.
"Oh, hell yeah."
Just the first glance at the shower stall makes a chill run up your spine. After all this time with your guard up in the world you lived in, letting it down for something as simple as a shower made you shudder. The clothes on your body felt welded to your skin, soaked with sweat and dirt and who knows what else, like a filthy dish towel.
In such a way, you hadn't removed your clothing to relax with something like this in so long. To be this unguarded again after so long intimidated you a bit. There was nothing comparable to the vulnerability of a shower.
Every birthmark, scar and mark on your body was still painted on your skin, only covered from a layer of grime, sweat and dirt that built up from the wear and tear of the outside world.
A rush of clean, fresh water fills the room, with the shower turning on. Mist floats onto skin with warm droplets, like spritz of a water spray. It's almost anticipatory, the image of you holding the shower curtain back. To have something this humane after so long felt unbelievable.
A hopeful tone is set as you enter the shower, stepping in with the water beginning to heat up. It hits your feet first, warming them so, that it tickles a bit. With just the flow of water, your mask of filth begins to wash from your skin.
The several months old nail polish was still coated over your toes, realizing how long it's lasted.
You step further under the flow of water, just the aroma of it closing your eyes in relaxation. With your head under the water, you stood silently for a few minutes in the peacefulness of it all. The liquid runs hot, goosebumps rising over your body at the contact. It's warm, familiar, something you haven't known since the world fell. Like a hug from a close relative. Safe.
Having something like this back after so long without it made the moment even more euphoric, as if you'd never be without it again.
When your eyes shoot open, droplets trailing down your lashes, you look to the couple of bottles placed on the shelf. Shampoo, conditioner, body wash, and an unused razor.
Even before the apocalypse, you hadn't found the desire for relentless hair removal in your top priorities. Sure, you shaved a few parts of your body, armpits and face at times, but didn't bother with your legs or anywhere else. Especially not when there were other things that deserved more attention in these times.
You weren't especially girly, either. Didn't grow fond of dresses or skirts, not even wedding gowns stood out to you. You'd been a tomboy all your life, no reason to change now.
Pouring some of the shampoo into your palms, you massaged it through the crown of your hair thoroughly, the contact of your fingers scratching your scalp heavenly. The shampoo and conditioner both were refreshing to the smell, its lathery substance washing from your hair. A lack of dirt and grime on your skin lifted your mood, still a little tipsy from your wine at dinner, but nonetheless it made you feel completely clean for once. Who knew if you'd have the chance to be this tidy again one day.
Raking fingers through your hair, you wrapped your body up in the one clean towel and changed into your other clothes for the night, a pair of sweatpants and big t-shirt. You packed up the filthy clothing from before and balled it up, throwing it in a different compartment of your duffel. Passing the others in their rooms from the hall, you'd been about to enter the room you were to share with Andrea for the night, only to walk in upon Dale sat beside her next to the toilet.
She'd gotten sick from all she drank, and he'd been comforting her.
"Hey, everything alright?" Dale turned to you at the sound of your voice, look of concern in his eye.
"She drank too much, got sick. On top of everything that she's gone through, overcompensating on the wine wasn't the best idea."
A groan comes from Andrea at his words, still knelt over with her hair pulled back. You refrained from speaking as Dale shook his head.
"Okay.. I'll just find somewhere else to stay, then. Feel better, Drea."
Walking back into the hallway, you tried to find another place to hole up for the night, duffel bag in hand. It wasn't till you reached the end of the hallway, that you spotted Daryl sitting in one of the rooms alone, fiddling with his crossbow. His muscles contracted with every movement, biceps unveiled as they had always been. His shoulders and neck were tense, you noticed, and his eyebrows were furrowed
What's causing your tense state, huh?
He hadn't looked up from his task, whatever it had been, until you knocked lightly at the door.
"Hey, Daryl?"
He finally looked up at the voice coming from the doorway, eyebrows releasing from their furrowed state as he met your eye.
"Oh, hey. wh'sup?" He slurred, still under the influence from wine he'd drank.
"I was supposed to stay with Andrea tonight, but she isn't feeling the best. Could I possibly bunk with you for the night? I'd like some company when I sleep. Don't wanna be alone." You leaned against the door now, droplets from your hair wetting your shirt just the slightest. Daryl was quiet for a minute, noticing the cleanliness of your skin and hair. It was a different look for you, one that showed you to him in a new light.
Chewing on his lip, he nodded with a low mhm, then continued working on his bow.
Walking into the room, you were suddenly hit with an awful scent that made you grimace. Placing your things down, you sat on one of the chairs in the room, while Daryl sat on a cot he'd taken from storage, shirt unbuttoned a bit as his angel wing vest hung on the back of a chair.
"Did you get a chance to shower yet?"
Daryl glanced up again.
It wasn't that he hadn't gotten the chance, it was that he didn't think he needed it. After all the time spent in the woods, covered in filth, he grew accustomed to it. It was comfortable for him, and he couldn't find anything else more safe. The energy of washing all the evidence of survival off his skin- he didn't have that. Daryl didn't want to lose that proof of survival, either. It was easier than wanting to clean himself. So he just didn't.
"Nah, let y'all go first. There prob'ly ain't no hot water left, neither."
Gaze back to his bow again.
Although his eyes wanted to trail back onto your figure, clean and freshly smelling as opposed to his, dirty and filth-ridden.
There's no way she'd go for you, baby brother.
Shaking his head lightly at the thought, he placed his bow down on the floor.
Your head tilted at his action, compassion in your eyes that he couldn't see you had for him.
"Well, I'm not gonna go to sleep until you shower." You said pointedly, getting him to look at you again. There was a smug look on your face, like you knew how to get under his skin.
"Don't. Ya need rest."
"C'mon! Take advantage of the hot water and soap like you did those two bottles of wine, Dixon."
"You're funny, but still no." He rummaged through his bag as if looking for something that wasn't there.
What is it with him? Why is he so stubborn that he's missing out on things that are good for him? Make him feel better?
You sighed, feeling the leather behind you on the chair, an idea popping into your head. Daryl was searching through his bag, so you grabbed the vest from the back of the chair. It was heavier than you thought it'd be, and stunk like cigarettes and motor oil. But it smelled like Daryl.
"Okay, well I didn't wanna have to resort to this." You stood, pulling his attention from the pack, "You've lost vest privileges, Mister Dixon."
"I've lost wha'?"
A confused look on his face turned to an annoyed one as you slipped the vest over your shoulders.
"Cut that shit, give it back. Now." He started to saunter towards you, but you stepped back slightly.
"It was on my chair, and until you shower, it's mine. I'm not staying in here all night if you're gonna stink up the place."
"Then go find somewhere else to sleep!" He yelled, throwing his arm in the air.
"Can't, rooms are all booked. No vacancy! Guess you're gonna have to listen to me after all."
Daryl rolled his eyes, "Don't do that. Seriously- y/n, give it back." He advanced closer to you, not threateningly, but starting to get irritated with you.
"Shower, and you get your precious vest back. Easy as pie." Shrugging, you inspected the vest as it weighed your shoulders down a bit.
"Nah. An' I don't even like pie."
"Ugh, you're so stubborn! Just listen to me, Daryl, a shower can do wonders for relaxation. You certainly need it."
He scoffed, "I am relaxed," eyebrows raising at your words, stepping back from you just an inch or so. His buff arms crossed over his chest, biceps flexing.
"Really? Cause the tension in your shoulders says otherwise." One of your hands rested on your hip now, the other clutching his vest in your grip.
"Stop it. Gimme-" Your hand yanked the vest away from his grasp as he leaned forward again, arm out to grab it from you.
"Daryl, is this about something else? You can tell me, you know." You met his eye, pausing him in his tracks. You knew there was something else, something he wouldn't let come to light, but he couldn't hide it now. Not after you specifically called him out for it. His gaze dropped to the floor before sighing and looking back at you.
"Don't you think this place is for real?" He took a seat on the cot again, shifting his weight and sitting hunched over his legs.
"How do you mean?" You asked, sitting down as well, dropping the vest back onto your chair.
"Like, do ya think we could survive in this place. I mean, there ain't no other doctors here, just Jenner, and I don't think he was tellin' us the whole truth. There's gotta be more to this whole place. I jus'.. don't trust him."
"Yeah, I wanna believe that we can. Daryl, I don't think he's gonna stab us in our sleep, if that's what you're assuming," you chuckled, "He's been kind and let us in, given us food, water, soap, alcohol? Why would he-"
"Exactly. He's given us all this stuff, even a place to sleep. Why would he waste all that shit on us? Cause Rick said we were desperate? Nah. There's gotta be more to it. We're nothin' special."
Nothing special? Me saving you from certain death was nothing?
"We're not?" You repeated, taken aback a little at his statement, "Cause I-I don't think people who are nothin' special survive a horde of walkers, let alone travel all the way here on basically nothing for a slim chance at survival."
How could he just push aside everything the group has been through? Did joining the camp really mean nothing to him? Did-
Did meeting you mean nothing to him?
"I didn't mean it like that. Ain't no society, no 'thing' to be anymore. We're all nobody. Shit went down the drain... day I saw a walker for the first time. Tha's when I knew we were never comin' back from it."
"Daryl, you can't think like that. You're not nobody to me, you're my friend. That makes you somebody. It makes me somebody, makes Rick somebody, Dale, Lori, Carl, even Glenn. This group makes us all somebody to each other, and if that's all we have, then so be it. We can make it through. No matter how long we're alive for. But we've gotta do it together."
Daryl sighed, sitting back against the wall. He went silent, contemplating everything you'd said, and his blue eyes glanced at you before sitting up again.
"Alright," he drawled, "Now, what's a man gotta do to get his vest back?"
A genuine laugh came from you, optimism light in the air for both of you, when he seemed to chuckle as well.
"Well, for starters, you can take that shower.." You mentioned again, a part of you wanting to see what Daryl looked like when he didn't have dirt and sweat plastered across his skin. You wanted to see how his biceps flexed every time he moved, wanted to feel them twitch as he lifted something heavy.
Woah. Has he always been so handsome?
Daryl scoffed, the slightest twinge of a smile making itself apparent on the apples of his cheeks.
"Fine."
He strode out of the room silently, giving you a few moments alone to collect your thoughts and get ready for bed.
Daryl walked down the hallway, passing each of the rooms everyone had settled in for the night. Once he found the showers, he slipped in and kicked off his boots at the door. Dirt cluttered out of the soles of his shoes, not realizing he'd been wearing them for so long.
He met his gaze in the mirror, shying away from his face to the dirt covering his arms and neck. To be quite honest, he did feel disgusting. But he owed it to you for convincing him to even think about showering, let alone doing it again after so long.
Slowly, he undid every button of his sleeveless flannel, tossing it onto the chair in the shower hall. He didn't dare turn around to look at his back, or memories from decades ago would come back to bite him in the ass.
He couldn't. Not now.
To pull himself away from going there, he thought about you, the soft image of you in your sweatpants and t-shirt, damp hair as well as your face illuminated by the lamp light. From what you looked like at camp, till now, was a way different image of you.
You seemed calm, content, okay, given the circumstances.
How he wished he could do the same.
Daryl found comfort in you, tried to hold onto it as best he could, without getting attached. If he did that, it would be over for him. He'd be pining away for the rest of his life.
There was just too much up in the air about Jenner for him to think straight, which almost pulled his focus from you, but he didn't.
Jus' relax for the night, dumbass. Worry 'bout that shit tomorrow.
He began undoing his pants, dropping them to the floor along with his belt. All his thinking about you made his boxers tighten, not becoming apparent to him until he looked down.
Fuckin' serious righ' now?
Stood in only his boxers now, he turned the shower head on. Daryl tried to ignore the confines of his boxers becoming tighter, and only when the water was hot enough did he strip himself from them, and step into the shower.
A low groan left him as the hot water covered the expanses of his body, trickling down the front of his torso, dampening his skin and the wiry hairs on his chest. When he pooled some of the shampoo in his hands and began washing it through his short hair, he squeezed his eyes shut, those pesky thoughts about you and your soft gaze only making it harder to focus on something that wasn't you.
The soft scent of his shampoo, how the water felt against his back.
Nope, nothing was stronger to distract him from the horrors of the outside world, other than you. His thoughts shifted from what you looked like in those clothes, to what you looked like without them. Though he hasn't seen all of your skin, he wished he'd have the privilege to see it one day. To have you in his bed, doing sinful things to make you feel good. To have you call out for him in the name of your pleasure.
Daryl.. Daryl... Daryl...
Your voice was the sweetest of all; behind your spitfire demeanor was that kind-hearted person he met in the woods that day. He knew from the day he saw you that he thought you were beautiful. Perfect, even. Like no one he's ever met before. Especially not someone he knew because of his brother.
How, he thought, how could someone like you become a person in his life? He thought he sure as hell didn't deserve it, someone kind willing to talk to him, be around him, listen to him talk?
Can't get attached.
The left over suds of shampoo trailed down his body, reminding him of the reason his boxers were tight. His gaze finally trailed down there, now apparent of how caught in a daze he's been over you.
Can't walk back in there with a hard-on, either... man, fuck it.
Daryl decided to indulge himself just this once.
Once, and it'll never happen again, he told himself.
The satisfaction washed over him when he'd finished entertaining himself over filthy thoughts of you. When that was gone, guilt came creeping over him like a devil on his shoulder.
Got no fuckin' right, thinkin' 'bout her like that. I got a better chance gettin' to the moon than ever gettin' them. She don't want some redneck trash deadbeat Dixon.
As he turned the water off, he stepped out of the shower, grabbing a towel hanging on the wall. He dried himself accordingly, draping it over his shoulders as he pulled on his dirty clothes he'd tossed to the side before. Steam from the hot shower clouded the mirror, walking up to it again.
He looked different, soaking wet hair, face bare of dirt or sweat or walker blood. All of the sudden, he felt his eyelids droop just the slightest bit.
Guess the shower did somethin' right, can't wait to hit the sack now.
He trudged back to the room he shared with you, where he saw you sat with a book in your hands. First glance at you like that made his heart drop, thinking you'd found his journal, was reading all of his intimate thoughts, broken his trust. But no.
You'd picked out one of the books in the recreational room, which Jenner mentioned was full of games and books for anybody's use. Once you'd spotted the shelf of classic literature, you couldn't help yourself.
The place had every story you could imagine, Emma by Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice, Little Women by Louisa May Alcott, even The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald.
Safe to say you grabbed a couple of the ones you were familiar with, and one or two you hadn't read. You started with Of Mice and Men, but stopped when you remembered the ending.
Although once you picked up The Great Gatsby, you couldn't put it down. It was one of those novels that made you want to live in the 1920's, just for the fashion. Flappers and the massive growth in modernization always fascinated you. Prohibition, though, never seemed ideal.
Before you headed back to your room, you thought on what Daryl had said about not trusting Jenner. He was right, in a sense. Jenner wasn't telling the whole truth, and there was no knowing what else he'd been hiding about the place. It all seemed eerie, but you remembered to bring it back up to Daryl before you both fell asleep.
You'd been reading silently, when you heard the familiar thump of Daryl's boots down the hall. Everyone else had turned in for the night, hallway dimly lit by other sources.
"Welcome back, wow you smell exquisite." You laughed, peeking up from the book in your hands.
"Pfft, stop." Daryl sat back onto his cot, blanket splayed across it. He hadn't known how to start conversations properly, especially not after doing what he just had in the shower. Thinking about you in a way he shouldn't have.
His flannel was unbuttoned, tiniest sliver of his torso visible, falling further apart as he leaned back. It began to pull back further, but you stopped looking before getting caught.
Get your head out of the gutter.
"Feeling relaxed, now?"
He chewed on his lip silently, giving you a low mhm, as he shoved off his boots onto the ground, kicking his feet up on the cot. The hairs on his chest were slight, but still visible.
"So, I've been thinking about what you said. About Jenner." You closed the book over on your thumb, Daryl lifting his head from the pillow.
"You were right, we can't trust him. He's shady, and probably hiding more things than we thought. We gotta grill him for info, tomorrow or something. It's the only way we'll get the truth. You know?"
"Don't know if Rick would be cool with it.. much less anyone else. But we are gonna find out what he ain't tellin' us. I can promise ya that."
"Good enough for me," you said, standing up and placing the book on the couch, "Alright, well I'm gonna go brush my teeth. Carol stopped by while you were in the shower and gave you and me toothbrushes and toothpaste. Swear I've never been so ecstatic in my life."
You chuckled before leaving the room, slight smile on Daryl's face, one you couldn't see. One he wished for you to see. One he grew a liking to plastering across his face because of you.
Groaning, he laid back on his cot, before realizing he hadn't journaled yet today. A hand darted out to his pack, shifting through his belongings to find another shirt for him to wear, and his journal.
Day nine
Somehow we made it to the CDC. It looked like another dead end at first, bodies scattered all over the place. Some doctor let us in, Jenner. Y/n rode with me the whole way on my bike. I think she sees me, like really sees me. Strange, feelin' like someone cares about me for who I am. Never expected that from anyone, not even her. She's stupid to care about me, and I aint no good, neither. Spent the night eatin' real dinner and drinkin' real booze with the group. Thought the night would conclude with me passin out drunk. Then y/n asked to stay with me. She would'a stayed with Andrea, but since she wasn't in the best place, she came to me instead. Even convinced me to shower. Weird how much she affects me already. Rubbed one out jus' thinkin' about her. Fuckin' dumb thing to do. I ain't got no right feelin' that way about her. She's a friend, never gon' be anythin' more.
With that, he closed the journal, tossing it back into his bag and replacing his older shirt on his body with a somewhat clean one before you came back. Daryl attempted to get himself to actually relax, and once his head hit the pillow, the same fatigue that washed over him in the bathroom returned to his head.
Though he was laying to face the wall, he heard the slight pitter patter of your feet approaching the room from down the hall. You entered silently, closing the door and shutting off the light.
Silence was present in the room, and he thought you'd passed out, until you heard you speak.
"You're a good man Daryl. You may not see it, but I do. I don't know what you've been through, but whatever walls you put up, you'd better think about taking them down."
That was the last thing he heard before drifting blissfully off to sleep.
The next thing Daryl could focus on was a splitting headache, one he'd gotten from his lovely two bottle of wine drunk. Relentlessly, he tried to make it go away, but sleep didn't come as easily as it once had. His instinct was to get up and turn on the light, but paused when he remembered you were in the room with him. If he turned the light on, you'd wake up and lose some of your rest that you very much needed.
Daryl's hand darted out from the covers to his pack, grabbing the flashlight and his journal from it as he stood from the cot. Cracking the door open, there was a small source of light coming from down the hall. Once he clicked his flashlight on, he began striding down the hall.
He came across the rec room, void of any people. One of the clocks read 4am, which meant he'd been asleep for about 4 hours at most. Once he sat, he opened another page to his journal and started a new entry.
Day eleven
It's 4 am. Only know cause there's a clock in this rec room. Had to take a walk. Made me feel like shit for leaving y/n alone when she asked for company while she slept. I'm gon' go back, just needed a minute to clear my head. I don't completely trust Jenner, he's hiding something. Definitely more to what he told us. I've been tryin to keep these people safe best I can, so if there is something else goin on here, I've gotta find out. Don't wanna lose any more people. Can't. Won't. Them undead pricks won't stop me. Won't stop us. I'll do whatever it takes, for this group.
Once he'd finished, he shut the book and headed back to the room to find you still asleep on the couch. Sleep washed over him a while after he laid down again.
The rough knock on the door was loud enough to shake you from your slumber, reading the clock in the room that said 8:45. Daryl snored lightly from across the room, chest lifting with each breath. He looked peaceful, laying under the covers of his cot like it was the best sleep he'd gotten in years.
You wondered what it would be like to actually wake up next to him in the mornings, brush the hair from his face and leave a soft kiss on his cheek before rising for the day.
But you couldn't, and you thought you never would.
You rose silently, letting the archer catch a few more minutes of rest while you put on clothes for the day, and slipped your boots on again, brushing your fingers through your hair to calm some of your bedhead. The mirror on the wall helped, as you rubbed the sleep from your eyes. You remembered to pack both toothbrushes and toothpaste from the previous night, before walking over to Daryl, fast asleep on his cot.
"Hey, psst. Daryl," You poked his chest once, twice, three times before his eyes fluttered open.
"Wha-"
"C'mon, they're making breakfast. I can smell that bacon from all the way in here. Maybe we can find out what Jenner's keeping a secret today, too."
He groaned, sitting up and rubbing his eyes, still half asleep. You glanced at him from where you stood by the mirror, he looked adorable, even in his drowsy state. You noticed the darker color shirt he was wearing, the top buttons undone, chest hairs visible. You could've sworn you saw a tattoo poking out from his left pec.
Before you could stare any more, his eyes opened fully, pulling himself off the cot. His pants were unbuttoned, a sliver of his boxers visible as he stood. You tore your eyes away from him, although you wanted to look more.
Daryl cleared his throat, buttoning his pants as you combed your hair in the mirror. He walked towards you, turning back to him.
"Ready?"
"As I'll ever be."
The door opened, light beaming from the hallway. Some of the group had already exited their rooms, hearing their chatter from down the hall. The two of you walked into the room you had all ate in the night before, smell of bacon and eggs filling the place.
"Eggs, powdered, but I do 'em good." You hear T-dog say, walking over with a pan in his hand. "Protein helps the hangover."
Glenn, on the other hand, is sat upright, head in his hands, groaning loudly for everyone to hear.
"Morning, everyone." You stated, taking a seat next to the dark haired man, Daryl sitting next to you. A few others said good morning back, others too caught up in their hangovers to speak. Rick looked about as bad as Shane did, but not as terrible as Glenn looked.
Lori glanced up at you, her eyes shifting to Daryl as you took a plate and served yourself, "Eventful night?"
"What? No- I just read some books and went to sleep." You chuckled, trying to break the awkward tension floating in the room.
Rick picked up a pill bottle from the table, asking Lori about it, responding with, "Jenner thought we could use it. Some of us, at least."
"Ugh, don't ever, ever, ever let me drink again."
The group conversed lightly as everyone woke up, sipping their coffee and eating their meal. You stood to grab some coffee as Jenner walked in.
"Morning."
"Hey, doc."
You saw Andrea nod to Dale, turning towards Jenner in his chair.
"Doctor, I don't mean to slam you with questions first thing-"
"But you will anyways."
"We didn't come here for the eggs," Andrea states.
Jenner brought you to the same big room again, standing in front of the screens while he spoke a command to the computer: Give me playback of TS-19.
Displayed on the monitor was the playback he requested, closing in on an internal view of a brain, along with other pieces of data. Jenner demonstrates that the lights flowing through a much closer-up image, was someone's life; their experiences, memories, thoughts- it was everything. He continued rambling on about the test subject, someone who was infected by a bite, but volunteered to have the process recorded for research.
Scanning to the first event per his request, the playback began to display the doctor's research, as the lights in the brain began to flicker rapidly, fading to darkness quickly after. Solemn expressions plagued the room upon hearing Jenner's analyzation of the infection's course.
A moment later, he scans to the second event, playing back on the monitor the same as it had before.
What Jenner calls resurrection points reveals itself to be that moment of reanimation you'd watched in Amy, two days prior, not to mention the individuals you saw on the road before finding your group.
The same brain flickers with red light, hearing that it restarts the brain stem, only lasting a few seconds before its termination occurred. You and Daryl shared a confused look, silence ringing out loud enough to hear a pin drop.
Andrea puts two and two together and questions Jenner yet again, only this time it's on account of not having a clue as to what the virus is.
"There has to be somebody who knows something. Somebody, somewhere.."
"I've been in the dark for almost a month, but I hear France was the longest to hold out. But that's as far as I know."
That was the moment your heart dropped. You inhaled sharply, losing the grasp you had on any hope left.
"Man, I'm gonna get shitfaced drunk, again."
At that point, you might as well have joined him, if there really was nothing left anywhere in the world. It was all gone.
Your vision filtered out of focus, room beginning to spin as you lost any strength you had in your legs, as your body hit the cold marble floor.
It felt as if a moment passed where your eyes were fluttering open, attempting to push yourself up with the help of your forearms. Your head pounded, each voice muffled as you went to grasp at your head that was now throbbing in agony.
As the aching settled a moment later, you were finally able to clear your foggy vision on the person crouching before you, Daryl.
"You alright?"
"I- uh, what happened?"
"You fainted, sure ya not still drunk?"
"N-No, just-"
The recollection of what you had just been told by Jenner became apparent in your mind, the horror flooding through your head once more.
"There's nothing left, is there?" Your voice weakened, not sure whether to be bothered with the way four of the group's men just ran out of the larger room in a panic.
"C'mon, lemme get ya back to the room, 'kay?"
Nodding, he pulled you up, draping your arm across his shoulder with your head still pounding. Daryl brings you to the couch you'd slept on the night before, as he lets you sit down on it.
"You think Jenner was serious? About there being nothing-" You inhaled again, unsettled feeling coating your stomach at the thought.
Daryl stood chewing on his thumb, now pacing back and forth, "Ain't sure, 'specially not with the way he went quiet." His pacing became aggressive, grabbing the bottle of whiskey on the ground that he'd apparently put near his cot the night before.
Your conversation was cut short after hearing a commotion about the air shutting off in the rooms.
Why is the air off?
What's going on?
Voices echoed from outside the room, Daryl peeking out of it with the bottle still in his hand. Jenner was the one being questioned relentlessly by the members of your group as he treaded down the hallway.
Why's everything bein' turned off?, you hear Daryl say as Jenner walks right by him and swoops the bottle of liquor from him, taking a swig. He follows Jenner out the door, quickly rising from the couch to follow him and the rest of your group on the quest for answers.
Energy use is being prioritized, he replied, admitting to not having any control over the building's programming. Zone 5 is shutting itself down.
Daryl's frustrated state grows with annoyance, fed up with the doctor's vague answers and wanting some real ones.
"Hey, what the hell that mean, huh? Man, I'm talkin' to you! What'd you mean it's shuttin' itself down? How can a building do anything?"
"You'd be surprised."
Another vague answer.
The computers were programmed to be the very last thing kept running until the power grid shut down completely, beginning at the half hour mark of a digital clock with large red numbers, counting down the minutes.
What the fuck... what happens at zero..
"Let me tell you something-" Shane bolts towards Jenner but Rick stops him before he can get any closer to the doctor.
"To hell with it, Shane. Lori, get our things- everybody, get your stuff, we're getting out of here, now!"
That was the sign you'd been scared of getting, one that meant retreat in the most devastating way. Heart racing, you all turned for the door, until a loud alarm sounded out, startling you even more.
Thirty minutes to decontamination, the computer played out.
"Doc, what's going on here?" Daryl yelled, straining his own throat at the looming unknown of what was to come in those thirty minutes.
Suddenly, the hallway you'd been heading towards was being blockaded by an automated door, and by the looks of it, there was no getting through it.
"Did he just lock us in?" Glenn spoke, "He just locked us in!"
Anger overtook Daryl in a wave, throwing himself towards Jenner with every intention of beating his face into the ground, only to be ripped away from the chance, getting pushed away from him getting any closer.
"I told you, once that door closed, it wouldn't open again. You heard me say that."
"It's better this way."
"What is? What happens in 28 minutes?!" Rick questioned incessantly, standing a few feet away from the doctor.
Jenner had gone off on one of his rambling tangents again, only this time it was in a fit of rage, attempting to make the group realize why this place was built the way it was.
"In the event of a catastrophic power failure, H.I.T's are deployed to prevent any organisms from getting out."
"H.I.T's?"
"Vi define-"
H.I.T's: high-impulse thermobaric fuel-air explosives.
It continued on to state how they'd be set off as the timer runs out, lighting the air on fire with its two step process. Gasps of horror and cries filled the air as the computer had all but handed you each a death sentence on a silver platter.
A chill rushed down your spine at the realization: every single one of you was going to die.
No chance of survival desired by the effect the explosives had promised. They would set the air on fire.
Some of the group clutched their loved ones in their arms desperately, while others only stood around, any hope they still held washing away from their expressions.
We're all going to die here, you thought. There's nothing left, anywhere. We were doomed from the start. How could we be so stupid? So ignorant? So filled with hope and determination to make the world better for us, to survive, when there's nothing out there that could fix this? Nothing that could make it better?
Any hope you'd still clung onto was pooling out of your body in a pile of unseen ambitions and delusions you'd foolishly looked forward to for the future.
Daryl's anger only burned, a forest fire that only grew larger with every time he yelled out for the doctor to open the door. You sat crouched against a wall, huddled with the rest of your group that wasn't doing everything they could to release the door.
We're fucked. We're so fucked.
"You should've left well enough alone. It would've been so much easier." Jenner stated, the men still throwing themselves at the door.
No, no, no. This doesn't make anything easier.
"Easier for who?" Lori spoke, offended with his words that were so clear of an attempt to pull you all back from this realization.
"All of you. You know what's out there-a short, brutal life, and an agonizing death."
His words, although speaking from a scientist's point of view, began to sink in, but not in a way that sent death to your door terrifyingly.
The words of your group members were muffled, focusing on your heart beating so infuriatingly fast, until you heard: Those doors are designed to withstand a rocket launcher.
The next words you heard were the heated ones coming from a familiar voice.
"Well, your head ain't!"
You glanced up from your lap, viewing how Daryl threw himself at the doctor, once more getting pushed away from the man before inciting violence on him.
There's always hope, you heard Rick say, Maybe not here, but somebody, somewhere-
No, there's not. Not anymore, you mumbled to yourself.
Within his rage, Daryl managed to take a few deep breaths, eyes trailing over to where you sat. His focus changed from the situation at hand to the frail state of your body, legs pulled to your chest and hands shaking with every move they made.
"What part of everything is gone do you not understand?"
This is our extinction event.
After an outburst from Shane resulting in him shooting several of the computers, then Jenner, with a shotgun, you only felt more despair fill your chest. It made you raise from the floor in fear of getting run over. The state of everything had already converted people to such evil, why would you want to live in a world like that?
"I think you're lying."
"What?"
"You're lying about no hope. If that were true, you'd have bolted with the rest, or taken the easy way out. You didn't. You stayed when others ran. Why?"
"Not because I wanted to. I made a promise," Jenner stood from his chair at Rick's questioning, pointing to the monitor, "To her. My wife. She begged me to keep going as long as I could. How could i say no?"
Bang.
Daryl was at the indestructible door again, sending blows down on it with an axe.
"She was dying."
Bang.
"It should've been me on that table."
Bang.
"I wouldn't have mattered to anybody. She was a loss to the world."
Bang.
"Hell, she ran this place. I just worked here. She was an Einstein. Me, I'm just Edwin Jenner."
"Your wife didn't have a choice. You do. That's- that's all we want- a choice, a chance."
"Let us keep tryin' as long as we can," Lori stated, with Carl in her arms. The tone in her voice made you break a little, but there was no changing what your fate had decided.
"I told you, topside's locked down. I can't open those." Jenner walked past Rick and the others to another computer, swiping a keycard and pressing a few buttons on a pad with numbers.
Just like that, the door opened.
Daryl was the first one to yell out, being he was closest to the door.
"C'mon!" He started out the door, but entered again when he realized you hadn't followed.
You felt empty, the fight for hope dwindled to just ashes, somewhat like and end to the blazing fire of life, living, surviving. The whole world was gone, and there was nothing to be done about it. All the feeling from your chest faded away.
"I'm grateful."
"The day will come when you won't be."
Gasps and desperate yells sounded out from the group, alerting the group of their one passageway out of the building. While everyone grabbed onto each other, you stood in place.
Glancing around the room through tear-brimmed eyes, you noticed not everyone had bolted out the door, either.
Jacqui and Andrea stayed in place as well.
"Y/n! What're you doing? Let's go!" He bolted towards you, only watching as he approached with a solemn face.
"I-I can't. You go."
"Wha- n-no. I ain't lettin' ya. 'M not just leavin' you here."
"Yes, you are, Daryl."
She's not in her right mind, the coercion of Jenner's words had gotten to you, he thought.
"Hey! we've got four minutes left! C'mon!" Glenn yelled out, still stood by the door with Carl and a few others, as Lori pulled Rick out the door.
T-dog tried to bring Jacqui with him, only to be shoved away.
"No, I'm staying. I'm staying, sweetie. I'm not ending up like Jim and Amy. There's no time to argue, and no point if you wanna get out."
"Just go." You whispered, walking a few steps from Daryl.
How could he tell you why you dying would be the worst thing that would happen to him? It would rip him apart, piece by piece until he only became a shell of himself.
"I can't, you know I can't. I'm not leavin' you here." He only followed after you, not having the right words to say to you in a hopeless time like this. "You were the one that told me there was hope, remember?"
"Daryl-" you started again, kicking at the debris on the ground.
"Nah. Listen to me. I ain't goin' if it's not with you."
"You're insane," you scoffed, arms crossed over your chest.
"And you're not? Come on, there's always somethin' to fight for. Just gotta find it. How can ya if you ain't with us? We're gonna do it, make the world better. If we can't do anythin' about the geeks, we can only do it in spite of 'em."
Your eyes glimmered with fear, but he could've sworn he saw a light of hope, so he continued.
"You can find somethin' new to fight for, I swear on my fuckin' life. I can't-" Daryl sighed, "I can't lose you. I won't. You mean too much to me. You're my only friend, the hell 'm I gonna do with you gone? If you're not around, I got nothing to fight for. Nothin'."
Daryl's voice broke amidst the other conversations.
That was the moment his eyes met yours, flicking to light the fire of survival in you once again. Tear filled eyes met his, pulling him in for an embrace, and against his skin, you whispered.
"Okay. Let's go."
With that, you both ran for the doorway, pushing the ticking clock of death away with every patter of your footsteps. Eventually, you'd gotten to the front of the building, where the rest of your group was figuring out how to exit the building. Glenn spotted you and Daryl coming closer towards them all, a slight smile on his face.
Their methods of getting the window's glass to break had failed, until Carol rushed towards Rick, pulling something from her bag.
A grenade.
Once he got close enough to the glass, he pulled the pin, urging everyone to step back to be guarded from the blast. You all but threw yourself far enough away, hearing the effect of the blast shatter the glass with a loud boom.
You all dashed out of the window, spotting the vehicles down the road from where you'd parked them. Walkers had heard the blast and began to approach, only to be taken down by bullets from your group. Once you reached Daryl's bike, you looked back at the building one last time, before it was blown to pieces.
Two figures emerged from the broken window, Andrea and Dale.
You heard Lori yell from the RV to get down, both you and Daryl crouching behind the Winnebago before the blast rang out.
All you heard a few seconds later was the massive explosion of the building, along with a wave of heat that radiated all the way over to you all. Daryl panted, looking at you before hopping on his bike, starting the engine. Hopping on behind him, the engines of each vehicle sounded out, as they began to drive away.
You clutched onto Daryl's torso as the bike engine began, shuddering breaths filling your chest. Before he began driving, you tapped his shoulder.
"Daryl, thank you for getting me out of there. You're right, I do have something to fight for."
His eyes lightened, nodding before pulling his weight off the ground and driving the bike away from all the wreckage.
You'd found something- better yet someone to fight for, and it happened to be the very archer your arms wrapped around.
You chose to fight for him, of all things.
Just as hard, he'd chosen to fight for you.
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#written in my stars ff#ryesff#devnmonwrites#daryl dixon#daryl dixon fanfiction#daryl x you#daryl the walking dead#the walking dead daryl#daryl fanfiction#daryl x reader#daryl dixon x female reader#daryl dixon x reader#daryl dixon x you#daryl dixon x y/n#twd daryl#twd fanfiction#twd fanfic#the walking dead fanfiction#twd daryl dixon#daryl / reader#daryl dixon / you#daryl / you#twd#the walking dead#norman reedus fanfiction#norman reedus fanfic
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Episode 47 S5: Mana Runs too Slow and it Kills 2 People
Tumblr decided to change the way it does image posts so this is going to be my hell. I can only have max 30 "blocks" of images (yikes) and uploading all your images at once and then just adding text in between is actually not possible! (least it's a nightmare on browser. I have not figured out how to drag my text in between images, so I'm just uploading every image one by one and hoping I don't forget one)
thanks, I hate it!
Peeking up at us over the horizon, our end of the world apocalypse has reached the next step of his rampage: which is to shoot glowing missiles out of it's Dragon crotch until Egypt is destroyed.
Seto is doing his best to look productive, but unfortunately this is Sad Seto, who is still buffering.
Just uh...give him a minute. He has to remember how to be Seto.
(read more under the cut)
I'm pretty sure Kissara told him straight up to call her whenever, and considering how few words they've ever said to each other, you'd think he'd remember the words she said like half an hour ago. Then again, he was kind of...sleeping when that happened. Or hallucinating, or dreaming, or all three.
Bakura and Yami are watching this pan out from the Shadow Game Zone, Bakura kind of nodding slowly while Yami becomes overwhelmed with embarrassment over how much everyone around him is screwing it. This is not meant to be funny, but it was very funny to me.
I have brought this up before, but Bakura does bring up a good point, that this entire arc was kind of against the grain of who Yami became over the course of the last 4 seasons.
+++++STAND BACK I'M GONNA RANT, FEEL FREE TO SKIP++++
Don't get me wrong, Yami LOVES to make bad choices that end the world. But why would he continue to go back here and destroy the world of the future he knows and loves so much? Especially since it already went SO south with Dartz the last time he opened pandora's box?
He has a new identity now, he has so many friends, last arc was just so many women throwing themselves at Yugi. His life is really good! I think they could have developed more of a line of logic between last arc and this arc, but like with a lot of things in this arc, it was rushed.
So him giving up his newfound modern identity that he made all himself through hard work and friendship first off feels kinda bad. Like I'm OK with him being a new guy, he worked hard for that! Lets not go backward now.
And then him coming here to regain his old identity is sort of like the show knew what it must do, but the characters were like "nah." and then went and did it anyway seemingly at gunpoint.
And I kind of wish there was any contrast between who Yami's new identity is in the future and who Yami was in the past. It would be fascinating to dive into the fact he's now two people yet again, even though Yugi is no longer in that bean. but eh save it for the fanfiction, because they needed to end Yugioh in a certain number of episodes.
And that happens sometimes. Stories are character driven, and when you try and drive the characters, they become less like people and more like iconic symbols. Here's our hero. He must do this because he's the hero. That's it, that's the reason. Welcome to Shonen Jump.
+++++++END RANT AKA THIS ARC HAS COOL IDEAS AND I WISH IT HAD ENOUGH TIME TO DO THEM BETTER++++++++
Problem is, Yami isn't that meta. He's dumb though, so in a way it does make a little sense why he had to open the box. He dummy thin.
Dummy thin and still can't read.
And like in case you've jumped in here after my accidental hiatus (hello!) and not realized this, I had to binge watch the rest of the season before we cancelled our Hulu subscription. There was the option of watching it for free on the Yugioh website, but I didn't want to change my Photoshop actions.
So get ready for me to talk about how the ending of this show bothered me, for like 8 episodes. I'll try to keep it in, so we can get there when we get there.
But you can't say lines like "We were meant to be together." in the context of this arc, you can't DO that, show.
Apparently the creator of Yugioh got hospitalized while he wrote this arc, hence the dick king demon. But also it got....messy. We have like 3 seasons of development in like 8 episodes, buckle up. They did the best that they could do with the resource's given, and we'll even get to meet my favorite character a few times before it's over (the Storyboarding God that occasionally guest stars on Yugioh, love that guy)
Back on the playing field, Yami is running out of options, when Isis informs us we can just go to McDonald's and get more McGuffins.
Out of basically no where, Mana zips onto the screen because she's ready to have at least one girl's night before the end of the world. The contrasting energy from both Mana and Isis is peak goth babysitter vs the parrot that hides behind the couch and bites your feet.
Back near Pharaoh's tomb, Yugi is still dueling over a deathpit with the child who these kids think is Ryou bakura.
This is not however, Ryou Bakura. It's sideways adjacent evil Bakura.
And it didn't really matter that this plot point ever happened because it's not like Yugi, Joey, or Tea ever catch on that this isn't Ryou anyway. But at least I, the audience can feel a little bit better about the weird twist by the dub there.
Ryou is still passed out on some stone steps. He's fine.
You might be wondering "Oh so what asinine thing is Isis going to have to do to get the items back?" and uh, you're wrong actually.
Turns out we could have just picked up the items in the desert at any time but I guess we forgot. I'll blame it on Shadi.
Joey Wheeler, who can punch out probably anything but a ghost, chooses to hide behind Tea because he knows she can punch a ghost and I believe it, too.
Back on the surface, is a scene that would have been emotional if it hadn't been 3 minutes. it was NOT enough time to give a proper send off to our girl Isis here, and they tried, but if you imagine the Yakety Sax song playing under this death here, that's about the speed at which this girl biffed it.
speaking of Yakety Sax theme, this is what was happening while Mana was crying her eyes out.,
And you may ask, was it really that goofy? and yes, yes it was.
and like I get it, animation and pacing are really, really hard. Parts of me wonder if maybe on paper this seemed OK. If maybe even as a storyboard this seemed OK. But something you learn quickly when doing any sort of narrative art, is that you need like 2x as much space as you think you do. Pause is an underrated godlike skill that takes a lifetime to master.
However, it still had good stills going on, it still had some lovely direction just...I mean they dropped Isis from top to bottom of that frame so freakin fast it was like she was a dropped banana hahaha.
They still have to carry these items physically to the Pharaoh, and so becuase Mana is a slow runner, 2 people freakin died this episode distracting Zorc. Which is also the title of this episode because I want to send home howfreakin funny that is to me.
Ah, back to Episode 1.
So how breathtaking and epic is the Kaiju fight you ask? Well good thing for you, I capped it.
The look on Seto and Yami's faces about sum it up.
And as quickly as he showed up to do a few silly punches, the great Exodia was cut exactly in half. Don't ask me how the card logic works for that, I have forgotten how this game works already.
Mana finally makes it to Yami, cursed puzzle in hand, and that ends this episode.
Can you imagine adding 7 characters to a story knowing you have to kill all of them individually before the anime arc is over? Breakneck deaths going on here.
Sorry for all you people that were so deeply attached to Shimon, the guy who isn't even Grandpa, by the way. A moment of silence for all 4 of you.
And we get back this thing. This horrible thing made out of thousands of dead people's souls. The thing that trapped him for 5000 years and launched him into the future. The only thing that can save mankind.
(If I have used this Mokuba joke like this before forgive me it was like a different lifetime before I caught covid, and I will not be able to regain those memories because I cannot curse myself with a rude ass puzzle.)
The abusive relationship with the Millennium Puzzle is a whole anime college essay I would write if I had half a brain, but alas I have the immune system and fatigue of a sickly gerbil or a goldfish that feels a little bit chilly. So I will not be writing that in depth episode but like...
Think about how far we've come with this jackass puzzle. And yet, I'm supposed to forgive it? Nah I don't think I have yet. Go to hell, puzzle.
This puzzle can go straight to hell.
Anyway, if you just got here you can read these recaps in chrono order at the link here:
https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono
PS I had to do so much assholery to get that to go to my chrono link and not my main link. They would just. Change my link. They would just change my link every time I pasted it. Tumblr you have GOT to give me my old post editor back omg.
#yugioh#YGO#yu gi oh#photo recap#yugi muto#joey wheeler#tea gardener#seto kaiba#priest seto#demon king bakura#bakura#yami muto#shimon#mana#isis#exodia#S5
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“SAVING LOKI PRIME”:
A Complete Blueprint for Another 6 Episodes of Loki’s Post-S2 Storyline
POST I OF IV
Hello-hello! I know this tag is dying, but if you’re still closure-hunting or simply curious about how a Loki S3 could work, buckle up—I’m excited to announce we have a bountiful full-season outline to discuss that I’ve tried to model after the pre-existing canon as closely as possible, having studied this series as an undergrad screenwriter. When I was stumped with my own WIPs lately, I adopted the Loki S2 finale for a major drafting exercise. It’s been such a fun, special side project to do (although I’m not in any official writers’ room, nor claim to be for Mickey Mouse legal purposes), and I now rest it in your hands.
Feel free to skip to the images after the paragraphs if you’re not in the mood to slug through big text blocks to reach my main selling point here, but for extra tidbits on special thematic details and motivations behind episode structure, definitely stick around or revisit this section later!
Okay, down to business. My goal? To invent a logical back door out of the Yggdrasil Predicament, because while Loki’s major character arc for the MCU got beautifully resolved in S2 (glorious purpose), we all know his minor TV show arc remains tragically incomplete (a need for normal companionship). That’s 50% thematic damage, and with the tight corner the plot is written into, there is minimal room for further resolution. You can’t satisfy one arc without slashing the other in half. There aren’t many places to take Loki from this point without cheapening his sacrifice and overall development—which, you could argue, is either a genius move employed by the writers, or a downright frustrating one. Maybe a bit of both.
But a MCU installment with Mobius in the forefront? That’s our loophole. Maybe we revisit him sitting atop a jet ski he can’t afford because TVA retirees don’t have pension funds—somewhere to emphasize his (1) lack of purpose AND (2) lack of normal companionship. He has double the narrative incompletion/ambiguity, making him perfect for an advancement to main character status. Sure, he could wrap up his loose ends by settling down like his Sacred-Timeline-self did, manage to find a branch without Don on it, save enough to cash in on a jet ski, and take a childless vacation to Cleveland’s picturesque Edgewater Beach, but he is hundreds/thousands(?) of years old with a pressing conflict of abrupt access to human mortality, seeing as the TVA no longer halts his natural aging process. A century to him must feel like a decade, and a decade like a year. Midlife crisis material, am I right? He is going to die soon, and that’s slowly sinking in.
Furthermore, Loki may have spent centuries searching for alternative measures regarding himself and the Loom, but Mobius doesn’t know that. Even if he does remember the conversation his past self had with Loki in the Time Theater about “burdens”, depending on if that dead timeline ever got regenerated or if it’s a branched reality Mobius can’t recall, the fact remains that as far as he knows, Loki cut his search short and took the martyr route without a fair consultation first. Who’s not to say, then, that Mobius doesn’t glance up at the sky and declare,
“I’m not gonna leave you alone up there forever. I’m gonna get you down, even if it’s just for a minute.”
It’s the Savior archetype in motion—a classic—and not unlike Loki’s own archetype. This time around, however, Mobius will influence the Yggdrasil Predicament himself so that any thematic shift isn’t at the expense of Loki’s glorious purpose. Mobius’s glorious purpose, he believes, is using what few human years he has left to alleviate Loki’s burden. He knows Loki’s identity better than he knows his own, remember?
Diving deeper into themes, perhaps we can expect to see a sharp deviation from our initial expectations of these two. Loki comes to embody the stubborn force of selflessness, refusing accommodations, and Mobius gradually becomes the force of selfishness. Loki becomes Order, whereas Mobius, on his sometimes irrational quest to free him from his prison, becomes Chaos, unaware of the mental prison he has also trapped himself within. They each only get everything they want when they swap their primary characteristics and locate equal footing thereafter.
On that note, let’s take a peek at how another six episodes can take shape. “Episode 1: Changing of the Guard” and “Episode 2: Ageless Antiquity” are provided within this post, and you can find the other four uploaded to my page (all posted within a reasonable time frame of each other, because I know delays are a bane on memory and entertainment)! Oh, and since this season doesn’t follow a typical fic format so much as it does a disaster-bullet-point format, I’ve elected to keep it on Tumblr rather than on a fic website. Cheers, and happy reading!
- Lin
#loki#loki tv#loki show#mcu loki#marvel#marvel mcu#mobius#sylvie#loki series#loki season 2#my writing
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Solstice || pjm
Pairing: Jimin x Reader
Other tags: Werewolf!Jimin, Witch!Reader, Shifter!Reader, Shifter!Jimin, A/B/O Dynamics, Alpha!Jimin
Genre: Supernatural!AU, Werewolf!AU, Fluff, Angst (Very light), Flashback Special, Winter!AU, Holiday!AU
Word Count: 9k
Synopsis: It was a night during Yule when Y/N first saw Park Jimin.
Part of the Birdie Shoppe Series:
|| Birdie Shoppe Masterlist ||
While you can read this as a standalone, I do highly recommend reading the series first. It will make more sense and give everything the context it needs.
Chapter Warnings: Fluff, some angst, Jin and Yoongi are sweeties, Yule celebrations, in depth talks about wiccan/pagan traditions, Krampus and Yule cat mentioned, possession, adoption mentions, talks about death, annoying nicknames, these spirits are a bit sus, underaged drinking (Like a sip), We love Wendy, Jimin is cute, This is super PG, Young reader, Young Jimin, I can’t think of anything else so just let me know!
A/N: I couldn’t help myself. We’re starting to get flashbacks! I thought it would be fun to dive into the Holiday season in Bangtan, so here we are. This has been roughly edited so I could have missed things. I will hopefully get around to fixing her up when I get more time. I hope you enjoy. Happy holidays!
The fresh scent of pine was heavenly as I struggled to shove the evergreen through the door of my cottage. Auntie yelled, her gruff voice harsh, but I knew better than to fear her tone. While Jin stiffened up beside me, my demeanor never changed. Auntie’s voice was just like that.
“Almost through,” Yoona, Yoongi’s mother, shouted to us. Her voice was sweet and melodic in stark contrast to Auntie’s.
I felt the tree get inside before anyone said anything. Yoona let out a cry of elation while Aldara barked out more instructions. I rolled my eyes when I heard Jinnie whine. He was always so sensitive. So sensitive, in fact, his father had taken Yoongi to gather firewood and harvest fruits for the feast tonight. Seokjin’s mother was inside our cottage slaving over the stove. I knew the other witches were helping but did not know who was making what. Auntie would make the Wassail this year. Hers was the best.
After fumbling into the living room, the four of us worked hard to squeeze the massive tree into our tree stand. Decorating the tree was my favorite tradition since it was always the most cared for and important part of the holiday. No matter how different covens celebrated Yule all of us had a tree in our homes. All three of our families had worked tirelessly making decorations for the tree this year, and I skipped to the baskets that had been sent over to begin the long, tiring process of placing everything on the tree.
Seokjin, Yoongi, and I had been friends since we were children. Auntie had grown up with their mothers who had grown up with their mothers. Our families had spent Yule together for generations, and none of us were planning on stopping the tradition. Later tonight, my friend Wendy and her coven would be over for the bonfire. They were very different from any other family I had known since their coven only allowed women to practice magic. Anyone who did not like this lived in a nearby village.
I pulled out a dried orange garland from last year and winced. It was a good thing Hoji, Jin’s mom, made new ones every year. Taejin, his father, always helped us make julbock goats for the tree. Auntie said they were important since they helped celebrate rebirth. I was not completely sure what she meant by that, they were just hay ornaments with red ribbons, but Auntie was the smartest, best witch in the world. So, I took her word for it.
Jin, like always, went into the kitchen with his mother to help prepare food. He always enjoyed cooking just as much as I enjoyed decorating the tree. Auntie and Yoona sat at the dining table and continued to make smudges. We always did smoke cleansings during Yule. Auntie had pine, juniper, and sage burning the entire holiday. Jinnie said his mom liked to burn rosemary and cedar. Wendy’s coven did not burn at all, but they hung up ivy everywhere. That seemed silly to me.
“Did you make anything new this year, Bibbles?” Yoona asked, tying off another smudge.
“Of course,” I replied, digging around the box for the new ornaments. “See?”
I was insanely proud of my pinecone ornament. Auntie sometimes disliked it when I made characters or creations for the tree in any way, but she had liked the hedgehog pinecone. I cut the body into the shape I needed and made the features from dried cranberries. A red ribbon held it on the tree through a hold I carved in a cone scale. As I pulled out more of my forest creature creations, Yoona grew more excited for the festivities.
“Bibbles,” Yoona said, her voice warm, “You’re the best at Yule.”
“Isn’t she?” Hoji chimed in, wiping sweat off her forehead.
“The only one who enjoys getting the tree ready, that’s for sure.” Auntie muttered, her concentration on the smudge sticks. “Speaking of. You should get started, Rae. Cordelia will be here soon.”
Cordelia was the high witch of Wendy’s coven. I never knew if they were related but I always thought she was her aunt, so I stuck with that. It would be weird to ask, and Auntie had told me not to. Something about it being rude. So, Cordelia, to me at least, was Wendy’s aunt.
“Is Thelma coming this year?” Yoona asked.
“I’m not sure. She did just have a baby.” Hoji replied.
“She didn’t have a baby,” Auntie corrected, “She found one.”
“What’s the difference, Aldara?” Said Yoona.
I stopped listening after that. I knew who Thelma was but did not like her very much. She lived deep in the swamps of Bangtan and drank cold tea. I knew Auntie liked her a lot, so much that the two of them wrote to each other every day, but I did not know why. Anytime I had met her, she was loud and talked funnily. Thelma also smelled bad and cursed just as badly as Auntie did.
Huh, I guess it did make sense when you put it that way.
It was just before sunset that Yoongi and Jin’s dad made it back to the cottage. They already set up the bonfire before coming inside. The fire would have to last us 12 days, so we needed a lot of wood. The boys would go back out tomorrow morning for more and I would more than likely join them if Auntie allowed. Sometimes, she would want me to stay behind and help make more wassail for dinner that night.
For the great day, the day when everyone would come to the cottage, we cooked too much food. There would be meats, desserts, and as many in season vegetables as we could get our hands on. Anyone coming would also contribute to the feast and bring their favorite dishes. The lighting of the bonfire would happen, and everyone would dance and sing songs. Auntie would watch from the door until she finally shifted. She then joined us outside and stuck close to Hoji. She was one of three who could understand her in her bird form. Jinnie and I were the others and what adult wants to sit with twelve-year-old's all night?
I hummed as I decorated the tree, the nursery rhymes Auntie had always sung were my favorite. I knew witches celebrated Yule, but Auntie said the wolf pack that lived north of our home had a holiday called Christmas. It was similar but they believed in Father Christmas, not Krampus, and it did not last if ours did. Instead of 12, it was one day in December. Their town was preparing for it, and I had sent out peppermint bark like Auntie had asked. I was always great at making things like that.
“Auntie?” I called out, using delicate hands to bend and twist a tree topper out of left-over sticks and boughs.
“Yes, darling?”
“What is a Santa Claus?”
“A nicer, less real Krampus,” She chuckled. “What’s on your mind, little raven?”
I twisted more twigs and used left over scraps of red ribbon to decorate it. I was lucky to find gold paints as well and used my fingers to brush the sparkling color over the wood. Yoongi side eyed me from the couch. He was still making his goat to put on the tree. Yoongi always did suck at it.
“I just don’t understand,” I admitted. “Don’t they believe in the Goddess?”
“Yes.”
“Then why don’t they celebrate her?”
“You see, little one,” It was Taejin who spoke this time. He was very friendly with the Foxglove wolves and had served them his entire life. Just as he helped our family during Yule, Taejin got wood for the pack in exchange for gold pieces. He also made furniture for them from time to time. “There are members of the pack who celebrate something like Yule, but others who celebrate Christmas. There are some who celebrate nothing at all. They’re not too concerned about being the same on stuff like this.”
“Celebrate nothing?” Jin shouted from the kitchen. “Then what do they do?”
Taejin laughed, “Other things, son. It’s between them and Lilith. We are in no place to judge anyone else on their traditions.”
“Stupid tradition.” Yoongi mumbled.
“Min Yoongi!” Yoona warned, a freshly baked plum pudding in her hands.
“Sorry mom.”
“You better go to your alter tonight, young man.”
“Yes mom. Sorry mom.”
“I swear,” Yoona continued, “Kids these days! Why can’t you act like Twitch? She adores Yule!”
Flushing, I used a bit of magic to get the star I made on top of the tree. I had a million different nicknames. While Yoona and Yoongi knew who I was, Auntie had been wearier of Jin’s family. I had a sneaking suspicion Taejin knew it, but I never asked him myself. I would rather not know anyway. Still, everyone seemed to have their favorite. Yoona called me Twitch, Taejin liked Crow (he said it was the irony that made it so awesome), Hoji called me Bibbles since Auntie called me the same thing when I was a kid; she preferred Rae or Ravioli these days. Jin called me Birdie, Yoongi did the same when we were around other people but always liked to use my real name when he could. After a while, I stopped remembering the rest.
Yoongi scoffed and joined me on the floor. I always felt bad when that happened. Everyone knew my friend had a difficult time with others which is why he disliked big holiday parties. At least, I knew this. Yoona often complained about how quiet he was, she also enjoyed comparing him to others, but I liked Yoongi just the way he was. Knowing this, he held my hand while we looked at the tree. It looked beautiful and smelled nice. This was the best part of the year, spending time with everyone I cared about.
“Did you make anything this year?” I asked him, my voice small.
“Yes, did you?”
“I always do.” I smiled. “What did you make?”
Everyone had their own traditions. No witch was the same. Auntie made alter items for everyone each year, which was long and individualized to perfection. Taejin and Hoji made candles and sage bundles for everyone except the kids. We got sweets. Wendy’s coven brought salts, purified water, and all other types of crystals and stones we did not see inland. Jin never made or gave anybody anything except for Yoongi and I. Yoongi enjoyed cooking like his mom did and made jams and preserves with his grandmother. Gran never made it to the big parties. She enjoyed spending the holiday alone with Lilith. I, out of everyone else, made jewelry.
Auntie adored the necklaces, bracelets, and earrings. This year, I had even gone out of my way to make anklets for Wendy’s coven. I noticed all of them wore one and thought they might enjoy something new. I carefully picked out the stones and crystals in hopes they might be helpful. These things were important, especially when talking about Yule. The last thing I wanted was Krampus to take me away if I offended someone accidentally.
“Apple, orange, and cranberry preserves.”
“Three kinds this year?” That was a surprise. Typically, Yoongi would only bother with apple since it was his favorite.
“I wanted to try something new and liked them all.” He explained. “What did you make?”
“The usual,” I shrugged, “I tried my hand at making anklets, too.”
“Wendy’s family is weird.”
“Yeah, but so are we.”
My mouth watered; the food smelled so good. Yoona had taken out the turkey from the oven a few minutes ago. Yoongi was more excited about ham than anything else. Auntie would drink wassail all night and binge on sweets. She never ate meat. Griselda, the Birdie who taught her, was the same way. It never stopped me from getting a large slice of turkey breast. I locked eyes with Jin and knew we were thinking the same thing.
I could hear Shiloh talking with other birds outside. She would most likely stay out tonight since the house would be full. While she enjoyed Yule, I knew she was getting forest gossip from Toto and Mavis. Morla’s gossip streak had gotten worse the last few weeks, but Auntie never told me what the issue was. It was “insignificant nonsense,” she had said when I asked about it.
“I see Cordelia and the coven,” Taejin announced, excitement written all over his face.
The house erupted, everyone running around and getting the food on the dining table. Auntie gathered everyone’s presents while Hoji helped Yoona get our Yule log to the fireplace. Yoongi made finishing touches to all the food while Jin and his father lighting cleaned. I started to pray under my breath, asking Lilith for blessings and a short winter. Auntie knew she could trust me to do this perfectly. I finished just as a loud knock came at our door.
The party was in full swing. It turned out Thelma would be unable to join us this evening. Her son was a handful and she thought it would be better to keep their celebration at home. While I was secretly happy about this, I would still bring her gifts and food tomorrow, and would not be joining Yoongi, sadly.
Everyone was scattered around the cottage with a plate in their hands. Wendy’s coven had brought all sorts of foods and their own version of a Yule log. While we used our fireplace to burn our wood log, because of their practices, the coven made a cake that looked like a Yule log. Wendy told me they had a real log back home, but they stuck candles into it and burned them instead. A traditional Yule log was not possible in their houses, and they were afraid of catching things on fire. Either way, the cake was delicious.
“What time are we having the bonfire?” The blonde girl asked, her waves bouncing with every movement.
“After dinner and the gift exchange.”
“Oh!” Her eyes perked up. “I have something for you and Yoongi!”
“What about Jin?” I asked, lifting an eyebrow.
She waved her hand, “I don’t like him very much.”
This was not surprising to me. Jin always complained about Wendy and her “sour attitude.” I think they were too different. I also thought they had a love triangle going on, but I kept that to myself. It was obvious Wendy liked Yoongi, who did not like her, and Jin liked Wendy. While I was still unconvinced she did not like Jin, I never brought it up. Auntie said getting involved would put me in an uncomfortable situation. I had to agree with her.
“I forgot,” I said lamely, taking a large sip of wassail.
“Do you think Yoongi will like it?”
“Well, what is it?”
Wendy put her fork down. She was a few years older than me and looked more grown up. She wrote to me recently saying she was wearing a bra now. I was still wearing trainers and kids’ clothes and it made me self-conscious. Wendy was so pretty and well-liked by everyone (save Jin), and I was still just a little girl no one really looked at. Auntie said those things did not matter, that my beauty shined from within, but even I knew that was a lie. Everyone knows it is about how you look and not what you think. Yoongi was stupid for not paying Wendy any attention.
“A new pot I bought at the shops. He does like cooking, right?”
“He’s a kitchen witch,” I answered. “So, yes. He’ll appreciate it if nothing else.”
This seemed to be enough to ease her. Yoongi liked homemade gifts more than things like that, but he would like the sentiment of it. If it was a nice, big pot he could make more food at a time which would be helpful for holidays like Yule. He would get use out of it even if he would have liked something more personal. In the corner of my eye, I saw Jin glaring our way. Wendy had most likely started it.
I glanced out the window and sighed. The sun had barely set, and it was the right time to begin the party. Putting my plate down, I wondered to the gifts. Auntie, watching me, nodded and began to rally everyone up for the gift exchange. The good mood and bright spirits never left the room. Our cottage was too small for this many people and yet we all loved it. The seasons changed and we all hoped for a bright spring, but with all the love in the room, I knew we would be alright.
Yoongi gave me apple butter opposed to marmalade. It was my favorite. Jin, as always, took rather than gave, but made Yoongi and I hand switched sweaters. I gave my two best friends necklaces. I made Jin’s with dried, pressed flowers and Yoongi’s with healing crystals. Wendy was ecstatic with the anklet, as was the rest of her coven, and put it on immediately.
Wendy’s present for Yoongi went over as well as I thought it would. He was happy but not over the moon. She had given me a painting she had done of a magindara, a type of merfolk, sitting on a rock. It was my favorite gift of the night. I had gotten others, mostly bath products and things for my alter, which I appreciated. It only took ten minutes and then we were outside getting ready to light the fire.
Auntie had to excuse herself to shift while we were still inside and flew on Hoji’s shoulder when we went outside. I knew that she was her best friend like Yoongi was mine. The two of us huddled together by the fire and laughed at Wendy and Jin’s bickering across the way. Jin stayed close to his mom. I felt a light tap on my knee and looked over at Yoongi.
“Are you going to be alright?” He asked.
I nodded. All of us had gifts, but Birdies were often given one or two specialized gifts by the Goddess. They served a purpose and meant a great deal to us. Auntie was gifted with insane amounts of stamina and defensive magical abilities. She was controlled and precise with every flick of her wrist, and her ability to see spirits was special. Mine were different. While Auntie’s gifts were more about power and the ability to use that power, my own gifts focused on my connection to the forest and spirit realm. I could talk to every animal in the forest no matter what form I was in, and my animal scrying was useful when I needed to figure out where I was. The most important gift Lilith had given me, however, was the power of mediumship.
Auntie had said it was the rarest gift given, so rare that only one other Birdie in history had ever received it, but even then, it was not as powerful as my own. I was the only one to ever speak to spirits before my ascension. However, I was weak at my age according to Auntie and that was why the spirits were able to possess me. I would black out for hours only to wake up at a random point in the forest. I knew they were attempting to communicate with me somehow, but I did not know how to control my gift.
That was why Yoongi was worried about me. At night, when the moon was full, was when I was the most suspectable. Auntie would be a good distraction and most spirits would leave me be unless it was important. At least, that was what I had gathered in my own time. It was hard to be certain.
“You sure?” He pressed, worried.
“I... don’t know,” I admitted, “It’s hard to say. I think I’m fine.”
“Let me know if you start feeling funny.”
The conversation was dropped. Nothing else needed to be said. Taejin gave the same speech he gave every year, and I cheered in all the right places. I did not like the bonfire. The flames scared me. The group around me screamed in excitement and the large pile of wood was up in flames. My hands shook. I was like I had seen something like this before.
“Y/N,” A voice whispered into the wind.
I shook my head. Not now, please, I begged. I wanted to enjoy the fire with my friends and family.
“Can this wait until later?” I thought back, hoping it would work.
I got no response, but I took the silence as confirmation. I sighed in relief, and grinned at Yoongi. He laughed nervously but still offered his hand. We began to sing songs and the rest of the group joined in.
“Hark!” We shouted. “Hear the children sing!”
Yoongi spun me around and I spun into the waiting arms of Jin. We jumped in a circle singing along with the rest of the dancing group.
“He is here this Yuletide time! A-dancing in the home-fire flames!”
I looked up as I spun and smiled brightly at Auntie. She flew in a circle over everyone, her joy palpable. She sang along happily, her voice clear over everyone else’s. I was in Taejin’s arms now and we continued the dance.
“Glory to the Holly King!”
We danced for what seemed like hours. The singing and laughter echoing through the forest, and I knew some of my friends were watching. Patteo was probably in the highest part of a tree belly laughing. He was one of my closest bird friends and I cared for him deeply. I was excited for the day we could fly through the night together.
“Aye, Snatcher!” Cordelia yelled, waving a large mug in the air.
That was her favorite nickname for me. After I stole a few shiny stones from her garden, Cordelia rung me up by my neck and wrote to my Auntie letting her know what I had done. I do not think Aldara had ever been angrier with me before or sense. I was not allowed to leave home for a week and had to write the sea witch a long apology letter.
“Yes, Miss?”
“Can you go inside and make more wassail? We’re fresh out.”
Of course, we are. That was another reason Yoongi disliked Yule. We never got more than a glass or two before Cordelia and her coven drank us out of a house and home. Beside her, I saw Yoona roll her eyes. No one really liked that part. Hoji offered to do it herself, but I quickly dismissed her. I was the only person who knew Auntie’s recipe.
Dusting myself off, I went into the kitchen and began to gather apples and oranges. I was lucky Auntie had made a very large batch of cider this morning, but I would still need to add more apples to give it the flavor it needed. Wassail was like mulled cider but very different from apple cider. Wassail was heated with spices while cider was served cold. Birdies had been making it for over a century now and it was the best recipe.
Going over to the cauldron, I used magic to light the firewood and poured in the rest of the cider we had. Leaving it to simmer, I cut a few apples and juiced two oranges before adding them to the cider. Hoji had left out the cinnamon and star anise out along with the other spices I needed, so it was easy to add everything in. The only thing missing now was the rum.
Auntie tried to limit how much I drank of the wassail but overall, never cared about the alcohol. It had to cook out for a while anyway. I eye-balled it and felt satisfied. Mine was stronger than Auntie’s but no one ever complained.
I felt it then, a creep up my spine that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. While I did not know how to stop a possession, I was aware when a spirit was around. Closing my eyes, I let out a large breath. It was pointless to fight it. I was not strong or smart enough to do that. So, I resigned myself to whatever fate the being behind me had decided. It was upon me before I took another breath.
“I’m sorry...” A small, gentle voice said.
I shot up, my vision distorted. The Earth around me was silent aside from a massive, piercing ringing. A large, harsh shiver ran through my body, and I struggled to pull myself off the ground. In my blurred state, I could make out shadows around me, but nothing stood still long enough to make it out. I could smell smoke and fire nearby and fresh iron. Blood was nearby. My head pounded and I yelled, clutching it and curling into myself.
“What is it?” I faintly made out, the voice far away.
“A girl, obviously,” Another distorted voice said.
The ringing began to subside, but I was unable to remove my hands from my head. The searing pain made it impossible to focus on anything else. I knew people were touching me, their hands poking and prodding at my body, but I had no energy to fight them off.
“Call mama,” The first voice said.
“No way,” Said the other, “She’d tell Chief Ahn, and he’s mean to outsiders.”
“Then who do we call? She needs help.”
I whimpered, the intensity of the pain rising. I had no idea where I was or what I had done to end up out here, and I was afraid. I could only hope I was still in Bangtan. Auntie could never find me if I had left the forest. The thought only served to scare me more.
“Oh! We can get my big brother!”
“Namjoon would tell Chief Ahn, Nayeon.” The second voice said.
I could tell they were kids and much younger than me. The second one was older and from what I could tell, a boy. The first voice, Nayeon, was a girl. Shivers raked through my body and my teeth began to chatter. The smell of blood grew stronger. It was fresh.
“What about your brother, oppa?” Nayeon asked.
The boy gasped, “Hyung!”
I heard shuffling, someone’s little feet pattering, and them running off. My eyes grew heavy, and it was difficult to stay awake. I needed to figure out where I was, but everything hurt too much. I dozed off for a second, jolted back up, only for my eyelids to fall closed again.
“Don’t worry, miss,” Nayeon said, her hand grabbing hold of my little finger. “Oppa is getting help.”
I woke with a start. The freezing cold of the forest floor was startling. I could hear something breathing close by, the exhale a low, throaty growl, and my head throbbed. Frazzled, I shot up and groaned. My eyes rolled to the back of my head, and I laid myself back down. Wherever I was, I was not going to get far like this. Scared and alone I began to cry.
I thought of my auntie, her bright, dimpled smile, and orange turtleneck. She always wore blue if she could help it, but she liked to be festive when she got the chance to be. We had made matching tops this year and the thought made me cry harder. The flowy, pumpkin colored shirt was probably soiled in dirt and grime by now.
Something wet poked my hand.
I peeked and saw a large, silver wolf sitting in front of me. Its eyes were dark, contemplative, and far too coherent to be an actual wolf. Besides, this one was too big to be a natural wolf. I stared up at it, my heart racing, and waited for it to make a move. When they simply stared back, I closed my eyes and continued to weep.
Not like it mattered anyway.
The wolf was probably from Foxglove Village. It was home to many different shifters at one time, and auntie was sure the original shifters had been foxes, but eventually everyone had left except the wolves. Now, they were on their way to becoming the strongest wolf pack on this side of Lustra, but I did not know how or why that was possible. Auntie always said something about pack politics, but again, I always nodded even if it did not make sense.
Another wet poke to my hand.
This time when I opened my eyes, the wolf was laying in front of me with its nose resting on the side of my hand. Their eyes scanned my face repeatedly, and so I gave them the same treatment and raked over every feature they had. Sadly, other than its unusually long, fluffy fur that stuck up in every direction, and size, they simply looked like a wolf. I was afraid the same could not be said for me. Instinctually, I flinched away from the wolf and cried out a song for help. My low, throaty squawks echoed off into the night as tears ran down my cheeks. A large gust of wind blew past me, and I jerked violently at the assault.
The wolf was at my side quickly and wrapped itself around my body to shield me from the wind. Thankful, I reached out and patted its head. The wolf seemed to enjoy the attention and curled closer to my small frame. It was much warmer now.
“Thank you,” I finally said, my voice small.
The wolf pressed its nose against my head.
“My name’s-” I paused for a moment. “I’m Birdie.”
It felt odd to call myself that. While I was next in line for the title, Auntie Aldara was still the true birdie. Only recently had my animal started calling out to me, and my gifts were wild and unmanageable at times. I was not a Birdie yet, but I could not walk around telling everybody my name. The forest heard too much, and nothing could be kept secret forever. Auntie said so.
The wolf nodded.
“Can you turn into a person?”
They nodded again.
“Well,” I whispered, “Could you do that now?”
The wolf shook its head.
I whimpered, “Please? I really want to go home.”
The wolf ignored me and placed its head back down. I scoffed in astonishment. While it was nice of them to come to me in the first place, it was way too childish to flat out refuse to take me home. We were unable to communicate like this and it would complicate things. Even if I could talk to every other animal in this forest, wolves and things like them were different. The Goddess had made them so.
“Fine,” I barked, dragging myself up from the ground. “I’ll find my own way back!”
The wolf sat up, its fur bouncing and flowing. I turned on my heel and began marching through the trees. I knew I would find my way eventually. Auntie would fly around the entire forest once she noticed I was gone, and no one would leave me stranded out here all by myself. My friends would find me. Yoongi would find me.
The wolf was walking beside me, its own steps only half what they could be in order to stay by my side. Annoyed, I huffed and crossed my arms before increasing my pace. The wolf kept up easily and this only upset me even more. It rubbed its nose on my shoulder, but I simply shrugged it off and kept walking.
Suddenly, the wolf stopped walking. I paused for a moment and began to look around to no avail. The wolf had seemingly vanished. A large gust of wind blew by, and I whimpered. I pulled my arms closer to my body and shivered. While I was unimpressed by the wolf’s rudeness, I was more afraid of being alone out here. I stepped on a stick and jumped. The noise made me shout.
“Wolf,” I called out, “Wolf!”
The wind around me began to howl and I started to spin around hoping to see the silver wolf hiding behind a tree. Instead, in the soft moonlight I noticed a ring of mushrooms a few feet away. Heart sinking, I quickly looked down at my feet and almost cried in relief. No fairy circles. Knowing I needed to proceed with as much caution as possible, I moved slowly hoping the wolf was close enough to hear me but doubting it.
“Wolf,” I whispered knowing it could hear me just fine if it was close. “We need to be very careful; we’re close to fae.”
“Yeah, I know.” A voice replied.
Whipping around, I stumbled over my feet and barely caught myself on a tree beside me. A hand steadied me. Looking up, I was stunned to see a boy around my age looking back at me.
His eyes were cat-like, sharp and angled, and almost glowed in the dark. He was tall, much taller than I was, and his skin was smooth and perfect. Not a single zit or freckle in sight. Lucky, I thought, and thought about the large, painfully obvious red dot on my forehead. The wind blew again, and the boy’s hair twirled around him, the shoulder-length silver strands glistening in the light. That was when I realized who he was and smiled.
I launched myself into his arms, my smile wide and a new wave of tears filling my eyes.
“Wolf!” I shouted in relief. “You came back!”
The boy did not hug me back.
“That’s not my name,” He grunted, using my shoulders to shove me back.
I twisted my thumbs together, “Well, what is your name?”
“Park Jimin.”
I twisted over the name and struggled to remember who he could be. Auntie always talked about the pack, but I hardly ever listened unless it was about how they came to be. The politics and family dynamics were boring and frankly- dumb. Standing before a member now, however, only made me feel ignorant. Of course, they were important, and I would be serving them in a few years. I would have to ask Auntie to give me a lesson when I got back home.
“Is that important?” I ducked my head and hoped he would not be offended by my question. I wanted to kick myself for being so clueless.
“Not really,” He smirked. “So, why are you out here?”
“Oh!”
I remembered the smell of wassail and the cold air around me. I knew I had been possessed but could not remember when or how I ended up out here. The voices of the children of before came back to me and I felt afraid again. Something bad was going to happen, what I did not know, but the certainty of it shook me. I heard the faintest voice on the wind but could not make out what it had said.
“I...” I trailed off, still hoping I could come up with something. The spirit had shown me something. I knew it, but what? Glowing red eyes clouded my vision, and I felt my lip trembling.
“No,” Jimin rushed to my side. “Please don’t cry again.”
“I want to go home,” I wailed, the need to be around my Auntie strong.
Jimin was silent as I cried. I thought about the red eyes and wept. Whatever it was- whoever it was- was the scariest thing I had ever seen. It was bad, so bad, and I did not know why anyone would show it to me. I wanted my Auntie.
“You’re the Birdie, right?” He suddenly said.
I was momentarily distracted. Looking at him, my eyebrows knitted, and I knew I had the same face Auntie always yelled at me for pulling on. Was he stupid or something? Obviously, I was not the Birdie.
“No,” I replied.
“But you said you were.” He said.
“Well, that’s my name- almost, anyway.” I sniffled.
“What?”
I giggled. It was rather confusing when you put it that way. I had told him my name was Birdie, but it was more a force of habit than anything. I knew we were in no place to be talking true names or what that meant for me, but I thought the look on his face was funny. Smiling a small smile, I wiped my cheeks.
“It’s complicated. Let’s just say, I’m next in line.”
Jimin nodded but I could tell he was just as clueless as he had been before. My bad mood was gone, though my fear remained, and I was focused on finding my way back home. I knew these woods like nobody else, save a few wolves from Foxglove and the animals, so I was confident I could find my way if I knew where I was.
I started walking, Jimin following behind me, and tried to sniff the air in hopes it could tell me where I was not. I knew for a fact that I was nowhere near the swamps or the shore. In fact, there was no water near me at all. No sea salt or mud. Just clean, fresh winter air. Thinking more critically, I had to be near Foxglove village for any children to come across me. The journey home was not hard, not even in the dark, but it was a long walk.
“We’re west, if you were wondering,” Jimin said.
That was useful information to have. The west side of the village was the closest to Morla’s cave near the Pixie Coves. While I enjoyed the pixies that lived there, I was in no mood for their games tonight. Even more for Jimin’s sake. Bringing a cute boy there was like pouring blood in a shark tank. We would never leave.
Mulling over my options, I knew East was impossible. Far too many Fae and fairies. If either one of us got caught, we would be royally screwed. However, south would take us all night and into the next day to make it back to the clearing. Looking ahead, I knew the only true option was going north through the trees and thickets. We would be lucky to have an inch of our bodies saved from scratches. That was no good either, especially if it could get Jimin into trouble. I knew young wolves had curfews.
“You’re thinking very hard about this,” Jimin spoke up again.
“Yes, well,” I looked back at him, “I know these woods well enough, and I can’t have either one of us getting hurt.”
“We could go further west and around. It’s harmless.” He replied.
“Ha! As if. Those pixies would never let you leave.”
Jimin hummed, “And east?”
I explained to him why we had no other options but to go north. While he did not seem convinced that I knew what I was doing, he followed without complaint. I did not need to prove myself to anyone, especially someone like him. He was probably going to be another beta in their little army-thing that I would never hear about again. Still, I sent a silent prayer to Lilith and hoped he would have a happy, prosperous life for all the help he gave me.
I felt the first thorn before I saw it and cried out in pain. I hated these stupid things. Jimin asked if I was alright, and I chose to ignore him. I could hardly see a thing out here and cursed under my breath. I did not like using my magic at the best of times, I would rather find stuff and make it with my hands, but I had no choice. Taking a deep breath, I began to sing.
With the last line of the incantation over, a small jumping flame hopped in my palm. Its energy was contagious and lively, and it boosted my spirits. Magic had a way of reflecting its owner. Auntie’s creations never danced or twirled like mine, and I noticed that Yoongi’s were quiet and shy like he was. I chuckled and cooed at the flame. It did a backflip.
“Woah,” Jimin whispered in awe.
I grinned at him and placed my flame on display for him to see. I had always been proud of my magic, despite not using it very often, and it returned the same level of happiness back to me. I lifted my hand up and the flame grew bigger and brighter, illuminating the forest around us. I saw a small pocket where the thick, dark green thickets did not touch and smiled.
Grabbing hold of Jimin’s hand, I squeezed us through the small clearing and continued the path north. After a few minutes, I could begin to hear the forest returning. Insects chirped, birds called, and the remaining animals scurried out to hide before predators came. I laughed at the thought. Jimin, even as a young boy, would send every animal in our area running. The thought gave me pause.
“Jimin?” I spoke, looking back at him again.
“Yes?” He replied.
“Do you ever get lonely in the forest?”
“No, actually. Why?”
“I just thought,” I looked back at the lit path. “Well, it must be sad to hear the forest run away from you.”
Jimin did not speak for a long time. I focused on guiding the two of us safely. The thickets were long and treacherous, both of us getting cut and stabbed numerous times, but we still marched on.
I was surprised that he went as far as he had. I knew that wolves were protectors and spent their lives learning about keeping the forest safe, but Jimin was just a kid. A kid with no ties or obligations to me. Auntie was the Birdie, and if I was harmed Lilith would send her another, so my very existence did not matter. And yet, he still walked behind me the entire time. He never turned away for a second. I realized that he was brave.
“Birdie,” Jimin said, and for the first time tonight was right beside me.
“Jimin,” I giggled, a sly grin on my face.
He scoffed, “I was going to ask a dumb question. Nevermind.”
“No, go on,” I looked over at him. His hair was beautiful when the moon hit it directly. Really, he was just good looking. “I don’t believe in dumb questions.”
He grinned, “Fine then. What kind of bird are you?”
When I did not immediately reply, Jimin laughed and scratched the back of his neck. I was shocked by how embarrassed he looked. It was a perfectly normal question and yet here he was. I laughed in disbelief before answering.
“I’m a raven.”
“Can you shift?” He asked, the most emotion I had seen from him all night colored his voice.
I shook my head.
“Not yet,” I closed my palm and shot the flame to my other hand. I needed to give my fingers a rest. The flame danced happily across my fingertips. “We don’t shift until the old Birdie passes on.”
“Interesting,” Jimin nodded. “Wolves always shift but our wolves don’t really make themselves known until our ceremony.”
I nodded as if I knew what he meant by that. The idea of my bird being a separate but same entity in my body confused me. We were one, but I assumed he meant what kind of wolf he would be. Glancing at him now, I felt bad about calling him a beta. He was so obviously going to be an alpha it was practically written across his forehead. Anyone who disagreed with me was wrong.
“Do you have an idea about the kind of wolf you are?” I prodded, hoping to gauge who he could possibly be.
Auntie talked highly of the wolves and the families she worked with. I knew the Jung family as well as the east Kim’s, they picked up items for the pack often and were always kind. I never spoke to them, a simple greeting at most, but I knew Auntie liked them. Aside from Jimin, I had never interacted with a wolf for this long. I snuck another glance at him. A big, beautiful silver wolf had to mean something to the pack.
“Probably a beta,” My eye twitched at the response. He was wrong. “My family has never had an alpha or male omega before. I doubt that would change.”
Pursing my lips, I knew he was most likely right. Still, I knew he was an alpha at heart. I could not place my finger on it, a concept so foreign to me suddenly felt as easy as breathing, and I just knew Park Jimin was destined to be greater than he thought he would be. Then everyone thought he would be. Feeling protective over my new friend, I once again asked Lilith to guard and keep watch over him. I asked her to show the world how brave he was.
“It looks like we’re getting close,” I said.
I recognized symbols on the tree ahead of me. We were right in Seokjin’s backyard. The walk would take no more than fifteen minutes now. I looked at Jimin and found him already looking at me. I smiled gently back at him.
“Birdie,” He called.
I paused and turned back around.
“I don’t think I can go any further.”
I cocked my head, “Why not?”
“Chief Ahn said-”
Jimin took a few seconds stumbling over his words about the rules their Chief had made for them. Apparently, he truly believed he was not allowed to get close to the witches. So much so that even with me asking him to follow, one of the land owners beyond their city wall, he refused to take another step. Growing increasing frustrated with this Chief Ahn and his blatant control issues, I cut off my new friend.
“Chief Ahn doesn’t run these woods,” I shot back, hand on my hip. “Now, hurry up so we can make sure my auntie hasn’t died of a heart attack.”
Jimin did not put up a fight after that. He almost looked amused by my defiance. Auntie would give me an ear-full later, but I would accept that as a fair trade off. I liked Jimin, I enjoyed his company, and I wanted us to finish our journey together. I wanted to show off our beautiful yule log and dance around the fire with him.
We came to the clearing sooner than I had expected. Everyone was still laughing and partying around the fire. Yoongi, Seokjin, and Wendy were nowhere to be seen but I saw three figures chasing one another in the field behind my house. I was startled no one had noticed my disappearance. I looked at the moon and knew it had been hours since I had disappeared and yet everyone was having a great time.
“Only Aldara,” The wind whispered.
The spirit had done something with their minds or Auntie was covering for me. Either way, Auntie knew I was missing. I hoped the spirits had eased her worries in some way, or perhaps Lilith had let her know that I was safe and to not alarm anyone. Even still, I knew I had to get back to her as soon as possible.
“That looks like fun,” Jimin whispered in my ear.
“Oh,” I was not used to being so close with people I did not know. “Yeah, it is. I love Yuletide.”
“We celebrate it at our house, too,” He smiled. “We burn our log in our fireplace. It’s not as cool as this.”
I laughed, “It sounds nice. I thought your people celebrated Christmas.”
Jimin scoffed and rolled his eyes.
“We don’t. The few humans that do don’t speak for the rest of us.”
I hummed. That made more sense now. Jimin and I sat in silence and watched the fire blaze on. He would have to leave soon if he wanted to make it back before sunrise. I hoped he would not get into too much trouble.
“Tell the two kids that found me that I’m thankful.”
“I will,” Jimin said.
I heard Auntie say my name from behind me. The large, white owl stared at me, and I ran to her. Engulfing her in my arms felt warm and cozy and I knew I was back home now. She hushed and shushed me, and it was not until I finally let her go that I realized I was crying.
“Let him know I appreciate him,” Auntie said, perching on my outstretched arm and rubbing her cheek against my head. “I’m so happy you’re safe.”
I told Jimin what she had said, and he bowed deeply in return. That was a big deal for wolves. Auntie seemed happy with his response and bowed gently back. Jimin rubbed his neck shyly and I was hit with another wave of sadness about his departure. I wanted him to stay.
“He needs to get home, Rae.”
I nodded. Auntie nuzzled me one last time before flying back to the fire. Heji exclaimed happily and I smiled. I loved everything about Yule. I wished we could do this every day for the rest of our lives. I knew that was impossible, and that one day Auntie would be a forest spirit like the rest of them, but I was glad to have another 4 years together. 4 years before we had to say goodbye.
“Thank you for helping me,” I said.
Jimin smiled sheepishly, “Anytime, Birdie.”
I chuckled sadly. I wish I could tell him my name. I shook my head and blew out the flame that danced around my head. I knew the best way to repay him for his deed. Rolling up my sleeves, I rubbed my hands together to psych myself up for the challenging spell I was about to attempt.
“This is going to feel a bit weird,” I started, “But it’ll get you home in a flash.”
“Are you going to use magic again?” Jimin asked, the same awestruck look on his face as before.
“Stand completely still,” I instructed.
I began to sing the incantation while picturing the spot I had been laying in. I thought about the trees and grass. The way the air smelled and how cold it had been. The direction it was facing and how far it was from the fairy circle. All of it combined into one perfect picture of the forest floor and a large, muddy circle where my body had once been. Feeling confident about my image, I began to draw the shape of a door with my fingertips and pushed it open with my hands.
Jimin’s mouth hung agape, and his eyes were wide with wonder. Strange to think this was the first time he had ever seen true magic. I used my head to gesture for him to go. Thankfully, he sprang into action quickly.
“Happy Yuletide!” He called out before walking through the door.
Unable to reply, I dropped my hands and finished the spell. The portal was gone within seconds. Up ahead, I could still hear the shouting and laughing going on. Taejin was singing songs with Yoona. Heji was laughing hysterically at something Auntie had said. Wendy and Seokjin were bickering. I smiled, my heart full and content, before stepping out from the tree line and into the clearing.
Jin ran past me laughing loudly. Wendy was not far behind shouting obscenities and waving her arms angrily. She saw me, throwing her arms up, and stopping her pursuit.
“Tell this brainless, nitwit,” She shot daggers at my friend, “to give me back my sandals.”
“Finder's keepers,” Jin childishly replied. “You know the rules, Wen.”
“I’ll show you ‘the rules’,” She growled and ran at him again.
Jin easily dodged her before shooting off like a rocket again. Wendy screamed for him to stop before Krampus came and took him away. He responded in kind with a yule cat threat.
“Are you alright?”
I looked over at Yoongi. He was passive, face not giving anything away, and I appreciated that. I had been fine, truly fine, and had even made a new friend along the way. Still, the vision of those red eyes frightened me. Refusing to think about them anymore, I blinked a few times and focused on the way Jimin’s hair shined.
“I’m okay, just a little confused,” I admitted. “Did anyone notice I had stepped out?”
He nodded, “Aldara told them you were visiting some animals. I didn’t buy it for a second.”
““Definitely wasn’t Patto.”
Yoongi hummed, “What team are you on?”
I grinned, “I’ll be team Wendy, so she has a fighting chance to get those shoes back.”
Yoongi snickered. I looked down at my friend and felt a wave of calm crash into me. No matter what happened or what those red eyes meant, Min Yoongi would be around for it all.
“I’ll be as useless as possible just to make it extra easy.”
I pat Yoongi’s head, he was much shorter than me even at our age, before sprinting off after Seokjin. Yoongi was on my tail, a loud yell leaving his lungs before tackling me to the ground. I shook him off easily and spit out the long, messy midnight locks of his hair that stuck in my mouth.
“Wendy!” I called out. “I’m on your team! Yoongi’s a traitor!”
“That scurvy dog!” She replied, getting outsmarted by Jin’s athleticism again.
“Enough with the pirate talk, Ningyo,” Jin retorted.
“You can’t even spell that!”
With the cold wind blowing through my hair and the smell of pine all around me, I ran. I knew everything would be okay, even with the red eyes looming over me. Pointing my face up at the sky, I laughed in wonder as I saw snowflakes begin to fall. I opened my mouth and let the flakes fall on my waiting tongue. I hoped Lilith had heard me. I hoped that Jimin had made it back home safely and quietly.
“Happy Solstice, Jimin,” I whispered into the night sky.
“Birdie, get him!” Wendy shouted.
I managed to grab hold of Jin and take him to the ground, both of us laughing and smiling together. Wendy took her shoes back and wacked him a few times before collapsing beside him. Yoongi made himself comfortable next to me. The four of us laughed and began watching the snowfall. Only eleven days left until the New Year.
Taglist: @greezenini @jimin-neverout@adventures-in-bookland @canarystwin
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