#you can exist as you are & people will still love you because you are not your feelings or your perception of yourself.
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Ride
Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Reader
Request: 28, 37 & 64 with Wan? R is in love with Wanda but Wanda is between R and Vision and every time R tries to talk to her about it Wanda just gives excuses and R feels like Wanda just like her for the sex but Wan realizes she's in love too.
Word Count: 2815
28. “I don’t want to hear your excuses anymore.”
37. “You’re n-not ,um, w-wearing anything under that, are you..?”
…
Vision is - a good guy. He’s the kind of guy that any woman could date and be certain that he’d never hurt them. He’s reliable and polite, and nice to talk to. He’s a good friend, and even a better partner to have in the field.
He’s been in love with Wanda for the entirety of his existence. You don’t think he even knew what love was when he fell for her, and still.
They make a good looking couple, and Wanda seems to fit in his arms. Especially when they’re dancing like they’re currently doing.
There’s a part of you that wants to desperately go over there and ask him to remove his hands from Wanda’s waist, but she’s not your girlfriend and you’re not generally a jealous person.
Still, jealousy beats underneath your skin and you don’t like it. You don’t like it at all.
Before Wanda, and before you got tangled in this situation, you used to despise jealous people and the feeling as a whole. You didn’t quite understand it either, and you often thought that jealousy was just a response to insecurity.
There is no room for insecurities with Wanda, you know exactly where you’re standing with her. You two are not in a relationship, and you hate to feel possessive of her but you also can’t help it. Just looking at Vision touching her, as innocent as he does now -as he always does-, is enough to drive you mad.
You turn in your seat, trying to spare yourself from the visuals any longer.
Usually you’d be enjoying a night like tonight. You like to dress up, put on some make up, do you hair and pick a nice outfit to wear. You should be mingling, trying to befriend whatever new person Tony is trying to impress, because that’s what these little parties serve for after all.
Tonight you sit by the bar by yourself, nursing a drink and although dressed to the nines, you don’t feel like talking to anyone.
“Can I get some water?” You haven’t even noticed the music changing, even less so Wanda approaching the bar.
She looks radiant, of course. Her cheeks are flushed the slightest bit, you guess from all that dancing, and she’s smiling widely when she meets your eyes and you’re pulled into her orb immediately.
“Hi.” You smile and her smile twists into something else, something more meaningful and private.
“Hi.” She husks out, her voice dropping lower as she walks closer to you and takes the glass of whiskey from your hands to take a drink, her eyes never leaving yours.
“Thirsty?” You ask as she gently gives the glass back and takes a discrete step backwards.
She very openly checks you out, her eyes traveling from your face and taking every inch of you where you sit before she meets your stare again. You don’t shy away from her, but you do have - other reactions.
“Very.” She nods with a sly grin that does inexplicable things to you.
You breathe in deeply, perhaps in a weak attempt to get a grip of yourself, and you take the opportunity to really look at her too.
She’s wearing a casual loose black mini dress that looks ridiculously good on her, and that does nothing to conceal the curves you know are under it. Her high heels make her legs look longer than usual, and her hair is down in soft meticulous waves that mixed with that smile, give her an angelic yet sensual appearance altogether.
“You look amazing.” You smile when you meet her eyes, and she raises an eyebrow in amusement.
“I feel like you’re talking to my legs.” She says with humor, and you become incredibly desperate to kiss that smile off her lips.
“Well, obviously.” You reach out as she laughs and you take her hand to pull her closer to you. She wraps one arm around your shoulders and even kisses your cheek, all normal things that can be taken as two friends interacting and nothing more.
“You look really hot with this.” She whispers, close to your ear, and her hand running down the front of your blazer.
You swallow with difficulty as she steps backwards again, this time to take the water the waiter has finally brought her.
She drinks her water and you become entranced with the movement of her throat, and the way her lips stay wet after she puts the glass down.
Your stomach begins to ache when you can’t control the desire you feel for her, and all that ache slowly travels southwards and you don’t think you can wait another minute to have her.
“Come on.” You take her hand and you don’t wait to hear an answer, although she’s laughing as she practically jogs behind you to keep up as you pull her out of the suite and towards the elevators.
The moment the doors of the elevator slide closed you’re kissing her. She’s about to tell you something when you do, and you catch her open mouth in a delicious and drowning kiss.
She moans softly as she wraps her arms around your shoulders, and you push her against the metal wall.
You kiss her fully, your hands on her waist as the taste of her cherry lip gloss invades your senses. Even more so when you let your hands travel further down her body and you don’t feel any other fabric under her dress.
“You’re n-not ,um, w-wearing anything under this, are you..?” You ask against her lips, your throat now dry while you think about her walking and dancing all night long like this.
“Why don’t you find out.” She husks, her lips gracing yours as she speaks and you feel your knees go weak.
You swallow with difficulty as your brain short circuits. Your stomach is tied in knots and you’re pretty sure that you’ve never felt as turned on as you feel right now.
“We need to get to my room.” You tell her with urgency, and she smiles provocatively.
“You’re taking me to bed?” She asks with an innocent smile that doesn’t fool you at all.
“Who said anything about a bed?” You retort as you run your hands down her legs, scratching her skin lightly as she combs your hair back with her fingers and you kiss her again.
You kiss her until the doors slide open, and she’s pushing you lightly with a beautiful smile on her raw kissed lips.
…
You remove her dress as soon as your bedroom door falls shut behind you, and she laughs at your impatience. You, on the other hand, are not laughing at all because she hasn’t been wearing a thing beneath that dress and the realization makes your skin prickle.
“You’re such a bad girl.” You tell her as you guide her towards your bed.
“Only because I know you love it.” She teases you, licking your lips and your jaw before she steps backwards and lays on your bed willingly. “Well? Are you gonna make me beg?”
You stare at her and you can’t believe her audacity. A few minutes ago she was dancing with a man who she knows is in love with her, and now she’s here, wet and ready for you to do whatever you want with her.
You don’t make her beg. You could never. No, you live to give her whatever she wants. You yearn to make her cum as many times as she can resist.
Your face between her legs and your lips wrapped around her clit, you have the pleasure of making her cum and hearing her moan your name, over and over again.
While she catches her breath you get rid of your clothes, and then you immediately lay on top of her, wanting to feel her body against yours and desperate for a little release yourself.
“Baby.” She whispers against your ear as she wraps you in her arms, and accommodates your thigh between her legs while pushing hers against your wet heat. “You’re so wet. I love it.”
Her easy laughter makes your chest flutter, and you kiss her cheek as you try to find a rhythm with your hips.
“Of course you do.” You smile and she gasps when you push your hips particularly hard.
“I want to taste you.” She rolls on top of you, and kisses you needly before she kisses down your body wantonly.
She doesn’t make you beg either, and the visual of her between your thighs, eyes locked with yours as she eats you out without holding back in the slightest, is enough to push you towards the edge.
You’re laughing when you come back to your senses, and she’s already peppering your face with sweet kisses and a wide grin on her lips.
“Wanna put on the strap for me?” She asks mischievously, biting her bottom lip as she waits for an answer.
“What are you thinking?” You ask as you roll the two of you in bed again. Your lips kissing her cheeks, her jaw, her lips.
“I’m thinking - ” she cups your face, a devilish smile on her lips. “You look really well under me and I really want to ride you.”
You swallow thickly, and the next second you’re promptly getting the strap.
The process of getting it on catches you both in a fit of laughter, but is comfortable and familiar, and you’re caught thinking that you’ve never had this feeling of belonging with anyone before.
“Lay down and do nothing.” She instructs you when you’re ready, and you swiftly follow her orders.
You watch her take the toy in her hands as she sits on her heels beside you, that smile never leaving her lips as she strokes the fake dick and sends shots of pleasure directly to your clit each time she moves.
“You want me to suck you?” She asks and you laugh as she moves to sit on your thighs, her hands never stilling.
“I kinda do.” You nod and she leans forward to plant a sweet kiss on your lips before she crawls down the bed.
To say that watching her give you a blowjob is the most bizarre thing you’ve ever seen, would be a poor understatement. Not that you don’t use the strap often, you do, whenever you feel like it. But she’s never offered to suck you before, and you think you might have been missing out.
There’s something about her and her lips as she bobs her head up and down, her eyes never leaving yours as she struggles to breathe and stubbornly wanting to take the whole thing in her mouth at once.
But there’s a moment when she comes out for air and she looks at you, and you think you can’t wait another second before you’re inside of her, and she seems to have the same thought.
Grabbing her hand you pull her up and kiss her messily, and almost desperately. She moves to straddle you and you both work on lining the toy with her entrance before she sinks down on it with a heavy sigh and trembling body.
For a few seconds she just sits there, and you try to stay still. Her head is thrown back, her hands squeezing your thighs behind her as she swallows and breathes in and out.
You watch her and you know you want her. You want her for good, for yourself and you need to tell her that.
When she finally moves her hips and her eyes meet yours again, you know you love her and you think she might love you too.
She wasn’t kidding when she said she wanted to ride you. She does that enthusiastically for a little while, and when you grab her and roll on top of her, she moans out your name in the most delightful way.
Her nails are digging on your back as you thrust your hips and fuck her against your mattress as hard as you possible can.
And when she cums, a tidal wave of pleasure showers you as well, and you cum along with her.
“I want you.” You tell her as you look up, the toy still buried in her.
“Again?” She asks breathlessly and amusedly.
“I want you, Wanda. I want to be with you, and I want to be the only person in your life.” You tell her and her smile drops.
“Let’s not do this tonight, please.” She seems to beg, her hands on your face now, trying to placate you like she’s done many times before.
“I love you, and I want more than this. I deserve more than this.”
She looks away, still trying to catch her breath and pushes you off of her to be able to get out of bed.
For a moment all you can feel is rejection, but you take a deep breath as she hurries to grab her dress from the floor and you get up too.
You throw the damn strap away and you pick up a long shirt and put it on, if only to maintain some sort of dignity in the upcoming exchange.
“Don’t you dare to leave like this.” You tell her when you see her grabbing her heels and heading for the door.
“What do you want me to say?” She asks you and you walk closer to her. Her hair is a mess, her makeup is smudged and if she walks out right now you have no doubt that anyone who sees her will know what she was just doing.
“Anything.” You shrug and you see tears gathering in her eyes. “But you can’t just walk away after I told you I love you for the very first time.”
“I really don’t want to ruin this.” She tells you, and her words confuse you.
“How would you ruin this?”
“I always ruin what I love.” She says and you take her hands, letting her heels fall on the ground.
There it is.
“That won’t happen with us.” You assure her gently. “You’re my favorite person, and I love you.”
She chuckles when you say that and you go back to feel light, in a way.
“And I want to be with you. For real this time. Don’t get me wrong, I love the sex. We’re very good at having it, but I want more and something tells me that you do too.”
She doesn’t say anything for a beat, and that’s how you know you’ve hit a point.
“We will fight.” She argues weakly, and you peck her lips. “We will yell.”
“And then we’ll have make up sex. That’s like, the best sex out there.” You counter, and she laughs. “You love me?”
“I do.” She nods, her voice soft and honest. She kisses you this time and even presses herself closer to you, so much so that you can feel her heart beating against your own chest.
“Then no more excuses. We can do this.” You smile and kiss her again. She smiles, her hands on your face as she nods.
“I’ll have to talk to Vision.” She realizes and you kiss her again.
“So that’s that?” You ask with a smile. “We’re together now?”
“We are.” She nods and you pick her up and twirl her twice. You’re both laughing when her feet touch the ground again, and things seem to fall back into place. You’re you again.
“Let him down gently.” You suggest and she takes a deep breath before taking off her dress one more time, and heading straight to your closet and then your bed.
She’s familiar with your room, she knows where everything is, and she’s stopped asking to borrow your clothes a while ago. You watch her put on some shorts before she looks at you again.
“I will. He’s such a nice guy.” She says as she throws your comforter to the ground, and you take a clean one from the closet.
“He really is.” You agree, as you both get under the new comforter.
“Are we bad people?”
“Maybe.”
You’ll think about that in the morning, right now you want nothing more than to cuddle your new girlfriend and have a good night’s sleep.
…
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illicit affairs - part one | r.c.
summary:
“I’ll be upstairs with Monique, a’ight?” he said, muttering in your ear. “Are you okay getting the drinks to the boys?”
“Yeah yeah,” you huffed with a wave. “Go on. Be safe.”
Rafe smirked at you, ignoring how Monique was staring daggers at you. “Come get me if anything’s wrong, you hear me precious?”
OR; Topper gets duped by a pretty “bartender”, Rafe (almost) has another hook up, and you're trying to tell yourself that this is enough.
pairing: rafe cameron x reader
warnings: mention of drugs and alcohol (weed!), this chapter has no smut, but the later parts will so 18+ MDNI!
word count: 2,5k
author's note: wait... is this finally the first chapter of illicit affairs?🤭 yes it is!!! ik i've been teasing it for so long but it's finally hereee!!! inspired by my own tom holland fic (don't talk to me pls) and it has evolved into a series... i hope you love it so much!!!
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part one: "don't call me kid"
Women and men can’t be “just friends”.
You had always hated that saying. Like, why the hell couldn’t men and women be friends? All three of your best friends were guys, and you didn’t even remotely want to be anything more than friends with any of them.
Okay, maybe you wouldn’t mind being more than friends with one of them.
Bane of your existence.
Pain in the ass.
Annoying as hell.
Your best friend, Rafe Cameron.
You tried so hard to not be in love with him, to only be his friend. Mostly because it would make your life so much less complicated, but also because you hated proving that saying right by being in love with your guy best friend.
“Hey, you still with us?”
“What?”
Rafe stared at you with a frown, before he plucked the joint from your lips.
“You nearly smoked the entire thing by yourself. What’s got you thinking so hard?”
He raised an eyebrow at you while taking a hit from the joint, barely pulling it from his lips before Kelce snagged it from him.
“Greedy bitch,” Rafe huffed before he turned his attention back to you. “You tired, precious? Want to leave?”
You rolled your eyes at the nickname - despite the long tradition of it - and shook your head. “Nah. It’s not even one. And Topper hasn’t made a fool of himself yet.”
“Fuck you,” Topper shot back immediately, moving his cup out of the way when you reached for it. “No, no drinks for mean girls.”
“Come on, don’t be such an asshole,” you whined, smacking your mouth a little to get rid of the dryness the joint has left. Making grabby hands at the cup, you annoyed Topper until he finally gave in, handing you his cup. You took a big gulp, before you pulled a face, pushing the cup back into his hands, barely able to swallow whatever the hell he was drinking.
“Ew, what is that?”
“Some girl in the kitchen made it for him,” Rafe told you, snickering. “I don’t think he was even watching what she was pouring into his cup. Too entranced by her pretty eyes.”
“She said she’s a bartender,” Topper said defensively and you only snorted. He made it far too easy for girls to mess with him.
“Top, I love you,” you said, getting to your feet and straightening your clothes in the process. “But please, you can’t keep falling in love with every pretty girl who pays attention to you.”
“But I’ve been in love with you for six years precious,” Topper proclaimed as he clutched his chest melodramatically, “When will you give me a chance?”
You only scoffed at his antics, twisting your hair up before putting a hair clip in it. “You wish,” you said, slapping his hands away. “I’ll get us some new drinks.”
“I’ll come with,” Rafe offered.
“Can you get me one too?” Kelce piped up and you pinched his cheek, making him wince.
“Vodka soda?”
Kelce gave you a dirty look, rubbing his cheek before he nodded petulantly. You gave him a thumbs up, grabbing Rafe by the wrist to drag him inside.
It was incredibly packed as soon as you entered the house from the backyard, the body heat from about 50 drunk people raising the temperature indoors and it smelled like the inside of a beer keg. Rafe kept his hand on your lower back, to not lose track of you as you carefully weaved between the people on your way to the kitchen. You tried not to get distracted by how his hand occasionally brushed over your exposed skin whenever your top rode up. He had always been this way. Running a hand through Topper’s hair to annoy him, clasping Kelce’s shoulder whenever he drank too much and was hanging over the toilet, squeezing Wheezie’s arm in a quick hug, and keeping his hand on your lower back whenever the two of you were walking somewhere crowded. He liked to show affection the way his father failed to do. So you refused to overthink it when his hands splayed over your skin, despite your heart racing whenever it happened.
Losing yourself to your thoughts for a second, you didn’t pay any attention when some guy walked into you, too busy talking with his friend to watch where he was going. You nearly went flying face down on the ground, but Rafe’s hand quickly found your waist, steadying you.
“Hey, watch it!” Rafe snapped at the guy, who only raised his hands in defense.
“I’m fine,” you insisted, gently pushing his hands off of you. “We’re nearly there, don’t start a fight.”
Out of the corner of your eyes, you could see Rafe giving the guy a stink eye before you reached the kitchen, where it luckily wasn’t as cramped, with only a handful of people mingling and talking. Grabbing four cups off of the stack on the kitchen island, you pursed your lips as you let your eyes roam over the options, rows, and rows of alcohol.
“Do you want a beer or something harder?”
“Beer, I think I might have to drive us home,” Rafe replied, grabbing the vodka bottle that was on his left, and handing it to you.
You unstacked the cups on the counter and poured vodka into three of them. Rafe reappeared by your side - not that you had noticed him leaving, you were too focused on making sure there was an equal amount of vodka in all the cups - sipping on a beer, a jug of cranberry juice in his other hand. You grabbed the jug out of his hand, wordlessly, filling your cup to the brim.
“Where’s the club soda?” you asked, glancing at him over your shoulder. Rafe only shrugged.
“Couldn’t find it.”
“Here’s club soda, Rafe,” a flirty voice suddenly said, and Monique Colver batted her long, fake eyelashes at Rafe.
“Thanks Monique,” Rafe replied with a smirk, taking the bottle to give it to you, which you accepted wordlessly.
Here we go.
“Call me Moni.”
“Moany?” you muttered under your breath while you filled the other two cups, barely wincing when Rafe gave you a side eye, acting like he was listening to every word that left Monique’s lips.
“- but I told my dad I really wanted to travel a bit so he got a me a trip to Europe.”
“Oh yeah? What countries you tryna see?”
Ugh.
You downed your entire cup in one go, already refilling it when you heard “show you” and “upstairs” and you rolled your eyes. You lifted your cup to your lips, basically putting your entire face in it, really, anything to remove yourself from this conversation, only pausing with drowning yourself when you felt Rafe’s hand on your lower back. Again.
“I’ll be upstairs with Monique, a’ight?” he said, muttering in your ear. “Are you okay getting the drinks to the boys?”
“Yeah yeah,” you huffed with a wave. “Go on. Be safe.”
Rafe smirked at you, ignoring how Monique was staring daggers at you. “Come get me if anything’s wrong, you hear me precious?”
You flipped him off and he took that as a sign to leave, following Monique as she dragged him upstairs.
“Bitch,” you muttered to yourself, grabbing the three cups on the counter and heading back outside to the boys.
It was a miracle that not a single drop was spilled on the way, probably because you were too busy trying not to imagine what was going on upstairs.
“There she is!” Kelce greeted you. “Almost died of thirst. What took you so long?”
“Don’t ask,” you muttered, handing them the drinks and Topper eyed you suspiciously. Acting like you didn’t notice it, you plopped yourself into the empty seat next to them, taking a big gulp from your drink.
“Where’s Rafe?”
“Where do you think?” you said with a sigh, giving him a look.
You weren’t jealous.
Okay, you were.
But it wasn’t the main reason why you were so annoyed.
You just hated it when the girls Rafe hooked up with always treated you like you were their competition, like you would take him away from them.
Which, fair, you could if you wanted. If you faked an injury or being sick, Rafe would immediately drop them to get you home.
But he’d never want you the way he wanted them. Yes, you knew he loved you, and yes he was your best friend, but you couldn’t help but want more. Maybe that was selfish. You let out a small sigh, leaning your head on Kelce’s shoulder, missing the way he glanced at Topper. Lucky for you, they decided against pushing it. Taking a sip from your drink, you tried not to think about Monique and Rafe. It didn’t help that the vodka and the joint were starting to work, spreading into your system, making you feel all warm and woozy, your head cloudy.
Your eyebrows shot up when Rafe suddenly appeared, squeezing himself between you and the armrest, his hair disheveled. You were still stewing, looking at him with a crease on your forehead.
“That was quick,” you noted. “Where did you leave Moany?” You couldn’t help but ask, putting emphasis on her nickname.
Rafe only shook his head, plucking your cup out of your hand to take a big gulp.
“That man is traumatized,” Kelce pointed out, nodding in understanding like he didn’t need any further explanation.
“Wait, Monique Colver?” Topper asked. “She’s pretty, isn’t she?”
Rafe held up his hand, stopping him. “Yes, but that wasn’t the problem.”
You rolled your eyes, already knowing what was coming. He was such a drama queen sometimes.
“What did she do?”
Rafe didn’t answer, taking another sip of the drink, before he winced. “She told me to call her precious.”
“What?!”
“HUH??”
“Ew!”
“You know what’s the worst?” Rafe groaned, rubbing a hand over his face. “I didn’t even get off.”
“That’s your biggest problem??”
He rolled his eyes at you, shifting on the sofa. “Pretty big, yeah.”
“Ugh.”
“Can we get back to Monique wanting you to call her precious?” Kelce interjected. “Did Rafe call you precious in front of her?”
“Yes, very clearly. There’s no way she didn’t hear,” you replied.
“Maybe she hates your guts and she wanted to roleplay being you while Rafe abuses her in a sex-way.”
“Kelce, literally never open your mouth again,” you groaned, covering your ears with your hands, while Topper cracked up, Rafe only pulled a face.
“It makes sense,” Topper insisted. “Like, precious is the only girl who’s been around us, or well, Rafe, constantly. You know, apart from Sarah and Wheezie. Maybe that was Monique’s way of telling you she wants to be your girlfriend.”
“What?” Rafe asked, his forehead creased.
You snorted, shaking your head. “You’re giving her way too much credit, I think she’s just weird.”
“You’re biased,” Topper pointed out, reaching behind Kelce’s to boop you on the head. “I don’t think you’ve ever liked any of the girls Rafe hooked up with.”
“Ugh, what’s there to like? They either act like I’m invisible or are passive aggressive bitches,” you huffed, smacking his hand away. Rafe snickered, throwing an arm around your shoulder to pull you close, pressing a kiss on your head.
“They’re jus’ jealous, cuz you’re the only girl I keep around.”
“Get off me,” you grumbled, your cheeks warming regardless. Rafe knew how to make you feel special.
Kelce yawned, stretching his arms, laying one of them on top of Rafe’s arm around your shoulder. “This party sucks. And I’m starving.”
“I’m so down for tacos right now, do you think Mateo’s still open?” Topper asked, sitting up straight because if there was one thing he took seriously, it was tacos.
“It’s two am on a Saturday,” you pointed out, and his shoulders sagged. You exchanged looks with Rafe, a grin growing on your face. “His truck is definitely still open.”
“Alright!” Topper cheered, jumping up. “Let’s go then!”
He dragged the rest of you off of the couch, herding you through the backyard and to the car, all the while laughing and joking around. You ignored the dirty looks you received from others as you got into the passenger seat, Rafe getting into the driver’s seat of his truck.
It didn’t take long until Rafe pulled up into the parking lot where Mateo’s food truck was parked, the four of you tumbling out of the car, Topper nearly falling flat on his face as he sprinted to the food truck. The light was still on, with faint Spanish music playing in the background.
“If it isn’t my four favorite Kooks,” Mate said, wiping the counter with a towel, before throwing it over his shoulder, eyeing you expectantly as you stood in a row in front of him. “Can I help you?”
“Do you have any carne asada tacos?” Kelce asked, peering over the display.
“Even four would be enough,” Topper added, wringing his hands nervously.
Mateo sighed and you’d already come to terms with having to go to bed with a taco craving, before he grinned at you, shaking his head fondly.
“Grab some drinks and have some patience, I’ll feed you in a second.”
Ten minutes later, the four of you were chowing down on some tacos, washing it down with ice-cold cans of coke.
“Fuck, I so needed this,” Topper moaned, biting into his third taco and you rolled your eyes at him, dabbing at your mouth with a napkin.
“Get it together Top.”
Rafe nudged you with his knee, giving you a look. “Give him a break, I know you’ve been craving some tacos as well,” he said, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, which made you pull a face.
“Eurgh, please use a napkin you slob.”
You pushed the stack of napkins in his direction and he only grinned at you, picking up some off the stack to wipe his mouth.
“What would I do without you?” he teased, but you only rolled your eyes fondly, picking up some nachos.
“Whatever, eat your damn taco.”
Rafe squeezed your wrist with his clean hand, and you only leaned your head on his shoulder, starting to zone out when they started talking about some new boat, just enjoying their company. Honestly, you were glad you had them. Even if they were boys, incredibly dumb, and lacked a little tact sometimes, you wouldn’t trade it for the world. You glanced down, where your legs were pressed against Rafe’s as you sat next to each other on the picnic bench, just like always.
Maybe, you thought to yourself, maybe this was enough.
“You good?” Rafe asked, raising a brow at you, taco halfway into his mouth.
“Yep, ‘m perfect.”
It had to be.
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author's note: tell me what you think pls!!!
🏷️list: @maybankslover
#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron#drew starkey#rafe cameron fanfic#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron fic#rafe cameron x you#outer banks#outer banks fanfic#outer banks fanfiction#obx#obx fanfiction
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kate martin x girly reader and readers pet name for kate is “bear” because she’s so big and cuddly and reader calls kate “bear” in front of her teammates after kates game and they all tease her for it
Bear . KM
pairing: kate martin x reader
synopsis: your little nickname for kate has quite the impression on the team
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you don’t really know when it started, but it just stuck. the idea to call kate “bear” conjured in your mind one evening, when you were laid atop kate’s chest with her strong arms wrapped around you. she towered over you in height by quite a lot and was the biggest, cuddliest, clingiest girlfriend to ever exist so what better pet name than “bear”?
“love you, bear” you had mumbled one night, yawning and drowsy. you offered her a toothy grin while your eyes fought to stay open.
you and kate had just gotten home from a night out, only leaving as early as you did because you were absolutely exhausted and about to fall asleep in the booth. your girlfriend had so graciously helped you back to your shared apartment where she dressed you into your pajamas and tucked you into bed.
“bear?” she questioned, climbing into bed next to you, letting your head fall onto her shoulder.
“mmm yea” you giggled, definitely almost sleep by now “you’re like my big strong cuddly bear, i jus’ love you s’much”
she chuckled to herself, finally hearing your gentle snores. kate thought it was sweet how you had come up with the pet name, loved that you were thinking of her. so she encouraged it, obsessed with the way it had sounded coming from your lips.
the buzzer had sounded, declaring the end of a wonderful game for iowa. the girls had won by a landslide against the other team. you had watched from the sidelines, like you always did, cheering the entire night as your girlfriend kicked ass.
when the teams post-game celebrations died down, family and friends crowded the arena floor. you followed suit as you pushed past groups of people to try and find kate. she was across the floor, glowing with excitement and talking to the team.
you bolted over towards her, calling out her name to grab her attention. she turned with the biggest smile on her face to see you approaching her. seeing you after a big win was one of her favorite feelings.
she let out a soft ‘hmph’ as you jumped into her, arms wrapping around her neck, kate’s large hands finding the small of your back. her nose nudged against your neck as she hugged you deeply.
“you did so good, bear!” you praised, pulling away from the hug to kiss her cheek “i’m so proud of you!”
“thanks baby” she said, holding your waist to keep you at her side.
“bear, huh?” caitlin teased “is that what we’re calling you now?”
the team laughed, making harmless jokes about the nickname you had for kate.
“shut up” kate chuckled back “that name is reserved for YN and YN only”
you felt a faint heat form on your cheeks, turning them a shade of scarlet. the jokes didn’t bother you at all, but you really did enjoy how she was quick to take full possession of the name.
“what about teddy? teddy bear? can we call you that?” gabbie chimed in “our big ol’ teddy bear!”
“whatever, you wish!” kate responded, shoving her playfully.
after a bit more teasing she finally started saying her farewells for the night “hey, i think we’re gonna head out, but i’ll see you guys tomorrow”
they all nodded, hugging her before she dragged you off the arena floor. you congratulated her again as you made your way to the car to drive home, making sure she knew how proud you are of her.
the apartment was quiet when you arrived home. kate dropped her things at the door before hopping into a hot shower before bed. you, even though she practically pleaded for you to join her, opted for getting cozy in bed. you listened to the flow of the water stop, listened to her follow her nightly routine to a “t” as you scrolled on your phone. when she finally emerged from the bathroom, hot steam trailing behind her, you were still awake.
“still up?” kate asked, already under the covers.
“can’t fall asleep without you, bear” you smiled. she looked down at you, biting her lip when she heard it. she would listen to you calling her bear on repeat if she could.
“i love you so much, y’know that?”
“always,” you replied “i love you so much more”
#kate martin#kate martin x reader#wcbb#wcbb x reader#wlw imagine#iowa wbb#iowa hawkeyes#foreingersgod
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transfems can be women but you are not, you're an agp
(i actually blocked the original person who sent this and then resent it to myself on anon to keep the presentation fitting since i would like to share my perspective on this anyhow. here's what i would have said to this straw-man argument-haver if they weren't already blocked!)
TL;DR:
you're wrong with both of the things you asserted in your statement. 1) i am not an AGP which is because 2) AGP's are exactly as much of a woman as i am.
what meaningful categorization could you put on someone to fit the description of "autogynophile" that precludes them from womanhood without inherently being contradictorily transphobic? "it turns them on to think about being vaginally penetrated" yeah i bet a lot of cishet woman fantasize about that too. "they only changed their identity because they like being a lady so much it helps them get off" okay? and? this is not a categorization which is inherently predatory, so who cares? gender is, irrevocably, an invention. it's a farce. it's nothing, we made it up, that's the whole point of agreeing that people can change it if they say they want to.
drawing a social line by the physical distinctions of "do they have penis or the other one" is as arbitrary as separating people by right handedness and left handedness or the eye color they were born with. the social expectations, behaviors, and woes are a consequence of the fact that everyone has been taught "this is just how it is, and it makes you different in every way, and this is how it's always been, and this is how it'll always be", same as the way people keep using fiat currencies (the US dollar for example), despite them being backed up by no singular tangible thing in any way that matters, aside from the word of the person who controls it.
and sometimes going along with that stuff is fine! i mean not the money, but the other one. the gender one. i like to be called a woman, while also knowing that "woman" is an invention. "pretty" is also an invention, and i love to be called that. "sonic the hedgehog" is an invention that people talk about using the same verbiage they use when describing real, tangible, breathing creatures, despite the fact that sonic the hedgehog exists conceptually and not physically (not including physical representations, which are not the same thing).
i think agp's are also women. if i could read someone's mind and they said "hi im a woman" but i knew they were thinking "im actually a man" i would still say "hello woman" because they might as well have given me their name for all the difference it makes in how we interact moving forward. if someone has no intention or probability to harm themselves or anyone else, i couldn't care less.
all that being said, you're wrong with both of the things you asserted in your statement. 1) i am not an AGP because 2) AGP are exactly as much of a woman as i am. it is a meaningless category coined by bigots and only given credibility by people with bigoted views.
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part one but can be read as a standalone!
today’s the day— the six year reunion for all the graduated u.a students. the day bakugou was internally dreading.
he didn’t want to attend, but because of shitty hair, he basically had no other choice. he thought it was stupid, annoying even considering the fact he still works with some of his old classmates.
plus, bakugou was never the type to attend gatherings. he hated the loud noise, busy moving bodies, and the useless small talk people had just to be respectful. none of it was apart of bakugou’s persona, not even his pr managers could change that.
but, he also knows the slight possibility of you being there. he knows someone extended the invite to you, back then every single classmate loved you.
since the night he rudely brushed you off, you haven’t been in contact with him once. his messages still delivered green, and you unable to show on any of his social media. for him, you only existed as a fragment of his memory other than the times you appear on television or the news.
you seemed to be thriving in america. the first year you went, he remembers seeing an article online on how you quickly climbed the ranks in america, the americans instantly adoring everything about you. despite your hero name and quirk, fans began to relate you to a siren, claiming how you were too captivating and powerful to be true. soon, citizens also began to recognize you as the star-spangled siren.
no doubt, bakugou thought it was hilarious. it was something so incredibly stupid. but it was also a reminder that you accomplished your dream. you were a great hero. all of your fears from six years ago were disregarded, and you proved to yourself that you built yourself up by yourself with no support system.
he always knew you were the strongest within the class. maybe that’s why he always felt so weak in front of you. he didn’t stand a chance against you, especially when he finds your figure standing by the bar.
you were messing with your drink, engaging in conversation with mina and ochako. those were the girls always attached at your hip back then.
at first he questions himself whether to squeeze himself in the conversation, or to leave you be. he figured that if you wanted to talk to him then you would’ve reached out years ago.
but before he could act on anything, your gaze meets his. it feels like time on every clock comes to a halt.
he takes in your new differences from the last time he saw you. you grew an inch or two taller, which he found hilarious since you used to pray to be taller. you’re a little more tan; bakugou remembering somewhere in a textbook that the states received more hours of sunlight than japan. you’ve matured more in your face; you were always the girl he found cute. but now, your gazing eyes were more fierce, your pouting lips that he often found himself sneaking glances at were parted, and your newly developed body; your arms were more toned, your body a tad more curvaceous.
enamored wasn’t even the right word to describe bakugou. an understatement even.
it’s all too strange how he felt a pulsation in his chest, his heart hammering from the small moment of eye-contact. he believed that he got over you, coming to terms that there’d never be a chance that you’d talk to him with dancing eyes and a grin on your face like before. but, oh boy, was he wrong.
guilt immersed him. he was angry with himself for treating you like you didn’t matter. everything you said that day, you were right. he didn’t tell you anything related to his emotions, he was avoiding you for weeks, and he was a dick for simply letting you go. he knew all of this, even years ago he realized. bakugou wasn’t the type to go back on his word nor apologize.
but in order for you to talk to him with even a fake smile on your face, he would have to do just that. though, it was you— he wouldn’t mind getting down on both knees, begging for you to forgive him if he had to.
pathetic, bakugou would say, who in their right mind would do something like that? but he would. because six years later, bakugou was still pathetically in love with you.
mina noticed your shift in eye, so she peered over her shoulder, searching the area for what grabbed your attention. it was quick the way she noticed it was him that snatched your breath. her eyes widened for a small moment before turning her head once again.
mina was probably talking shit about him, that was no surprise. even though he and mina got together well, you and mina were attached at the hip; she valued you more than him. he easily read mina’s body language, you must’ve told mina the situation long ago from the way she placed her palm on your arm and rubbed it gently.
unfortunately, he didn’t care if you or mina would be frustrated with his audacity. if anything, everything he was going to do from this point on was because he cared so much about you. so fuckin’ much he’d drain the ocean dry to prove his love to you.
bakugou had only fallen in love twice. once with you and once with a mirror. one, a destructive on-going path without a clear result. one, someone so far-fetched yet still warm and beautiful. someone that eventually in time becomes part of the oxygen he needs to breathe.
the mirror was the first-choice. becoming the number one hero was his only objective, no matter the opportunity cost, he was going to do anything to reach his goal. halfway through, he realized he chose wrong.
there was no point in reaching the goal without you. you were his hands and feet, so why did he expect himself to be okay with the situation he caused?
bakugou hated defeat, he already knows that. but he’d be damned if he allowed you to slip through his fingers once more.
and just like that, his legs are moving towards you and mina. his mind consisted of nothing; he had no words ready for you, no apology prepared. he just sees you and, like always, he needs to be in your vicinity.
as he marches towards you, he realizes that it’s always been like this, him chasing you to his hearts desire. at the beginning, it was a light jog nothing that would cause him to break a sweat. soon it turned into a full-blown sprint, the gap between you and him seeming to increase every day.
before he could muster anything to say, he makes it to you. he keeps his distance from you so you don’t run away, but enough that he can see the pores on your face.
you ogle at him, your face twisted a bit. mostly likely from the surprise of him trudging towards you as if nothing happened. mina rolled her eyes at him as she folded her arms.
“bakugou, don’t be one of those.” mina started.
“one of what?!”
she scoffed. “one of those obsessive guys when they realized they’ve lost a gem because they were stupid as fuck.” mina him a ‘that’s you’ look. “don’t come crawling back now.”
bakugou opened his mouth to object mina, prepared to go off on her. just a week ago, she was chatting it up with him, kirishima, and denki, no animosity found in any of her statements. but since you were here, she supposed she had to play the part as the protective best-friend.
but before he could say anything, you beat him to it.
“it’s fine, mina.”
your voice was still the most beautiful thing he’s ever heard. so gentle and euphonious. he wanted to thank the heavens on the earth for allowing him this opportunity again even when he’s a shitty guy. he didn’t deserve you, he knew that, but he couldn’t bypass the overwhelming feeling of yearning you.
he shifted in his position, clearly shocked that you didn’t seem to hate the fact he was standing within your vicinity.
mina also shocked, raised a brow at her best-friend. “you sure babes?” you nodded in response. the pink colored woman leaned into her ear, whispering god-knows what, before walking away with ochako to leave you and him alone.
you faced bakugou fully now, your eyes taking in the subtle distinctions he’s made over the years. bakugou always was one of the strongest in the class, but even now, he developed into a rigorous man. you can tell he’s shaved recently, the small hairs on his chin slowly starting to form. his eyes are more relaxed, seeming more generous.
alike him, you too kept post on bakugou in japan. you’d frequently find yourself searching him on the internet to wonder how he’s doing. just like he told you and everyone else at u.a, he was now the number one hero of japan. he proved to all his doubters that he could do it.
you were proud of him, internally rooting him on from 6,303 miles away. however, externally, you masked a look of resentment for him.
he broke your heart when he pushed you away. you didn’t understand why it was so difficult for him to come clean about things, especially when it came to you.
you had enough of it.
or at least that’s what you kept telling yourself, hoping for your heart to believe it as your mind did.
“hi,” you said. he could tell you were nervous from the way your hand slightly trembled. “long time no see.”
bakugou anxiously chuckled, “yeah.” he instinctively ran his fingers through his hair as he swallowed nothing. “look, i’m not even going to waste any time with this. y/n, i am so fuckin’ sorry.” his tone softened, coming from the deepest part of him. you can’t recall a time where his voice ever sounded so tender like this.
“kat—” you started, but he didn’t let you finish.
“no, i mean it. i am sorry for being a coward. i was a fool for treating you like you didn’t matter to me when that wasn’t the case, it was never the case. you were too good for me and that scared me. i’m rough on the outside, i couldn’t imagine savoring someone so mellow. i’m a pathetic asshole, a bitch, a cunt.”
you reached forward to place your hand on his wrist. “don’t say such things about yourself, katsuki. you are not any of those things.”
“don’t be good with me. i don’t deserve to be treated this way. give me the punishment i deserve for causing you anguish.” he begged. unknowingly, his hands slipped into yours. you could feel his sweat accumulate, his shaky hands.
all of this just for you to forgive him. how could you ever despise him when he’s an emotional wreck in the palm of your hands?
“it’s okay, katsuki. i’ve come to forget about it years ago. you’re one of the best things to happen to me during my adolescence. we were young and we both said things we didn’t mean back then.” bakugou looks at you with a pout. “i forgive you.”
you pull bakugou into a hug, wrapping your arms around him. you almost had forgotten how much bigger his figure was compared to yours until he bear-hugs you.
“how long are you staying until you leave for america?” he asks.
“i was going to wait till the end of the night to share this, but i was never one to hold secrets from you.” you released bakugou from the hug, a smile tugging your lips. “i’m coming back to japan.”
“what? but america… why?” he scrambled for words.
you lightly shrugged, “not my kind of place. i also really missed my home.”
“fuckin’ hell,” his words trailed off. bakugou couldn’t imagine the happiness that was coming from him right now. in his mind, he thanked kirishima for dragging him here. “i’m so relieved.”
you laughed, one that bakugou could tell wasn’t fake. he couldn’t help but to smile. he was finally talking to you, the woman he loved, after six long years. he was unsure if he could survive another minute of you ignoring him.
“so, back then, did you?”
“did i what?”
“back then, did you like me? did i really mean something to you?”
bakugou tried to remember if you were ever this dense? what a stupid fuckin’ question, bakugou thinks.
“you were the first person ever to tell me to have desires and to not hold back.” he explains. “did i like you? y/n, i loved you. every part of you, i loved. hell, i still do.” it seemed easier for him to confess, maybe it was from the adrenaline he was feeling in this moment.
but he didn’t care, if anything he was glad. you needed to hear it just as much he needed to admit it to himself.
“then, let’s start over, katsuki. let’s ditch this place, i know you’re not a big fan of parties anyway.”
bakugou knows all too well, he loves it how you remember the smallest parts of him. he loves your consideration and emotional warmth that you’re always quick to offer. even though, the gates were open for you to leave, you stayed.
he knew that his love for you would last a lifetime and would always welcome you with sweet grace and a humble gratitude.
all he can do is nod in response, hoping to suppress his racing heartbeat.
bakugou takes your hand to lead you to the exit of the party. “my job here is done anyway.”
@b134ch-m4h-ey3z @bsallergy
#bakugou katsuki#bakugou smut#bakugou x reader#bnha#bnha bakugo katsuki#bnha bakugo x reader#bnha bakugou#bnha x reader#katsuki bakugo mha#katsuki bakugo x reader#my hero academia bakugou#katsuki bakugou#bakugo katuski#mha bakugou#bakugou fluff#bakugou x reader angst#bakugou x you#katsuki bakugo my hero academia#katsuki bakugo fluff#katsuki bakugo imagine#katsuki x you#katsuki smut#katsukibakugou#katsuki x y/n#katsuki bakugō#katsuki bakugo fanfiction#bakugou angst#bakugou x y/n#ao3 bakugou#mha bakugo katsuki
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Moi Devochki: Chapter 2
Warnings: very minor angst bit, smut(grinding, groping, vaginal penetration), a/b/o content (marking, claiming, knotting)
Word count: 3606
WandaNat Masterlist Marvel Masterlist Moi Devochki Masterlist
“Don’t you know how to knock?” the redhead questions, “Wait, why are you smiling like that?”
“I went to talk to Wanda and Y/n like you wanted.” she says
Nat furrows her brows, “And? Is the Alpha that's leaving scratches, bruises and hickeys on them a team member?”
Yelena chuckles, “It’s not an Alpha.”
“It’s a Beta?” Nat asks, surprised a Beta would be that expressive with their affections
“Each other actually” her younger sister tells her
Natashas eyes widened. It’s not that she didn’t approve of two Omegas being together, that wasn’t the case at all, as far as she was concerned people deserved to be with who they loved no matter their bearing. She just didn’t expect this, her jealousy for the non existent Alpha definitely clouded her spy senses in this instance because even though she, and she alone noticed the marks you both tried to cover due to her eyes constantly being on both of you, she couldn't figure out you were doing it to the other.
She just couldn’t see it, far too busy watching any other Alpha that came near you both with an angry glare and a longing for her to be the one touching you both. She realized if she didn’t make a move she had no right to be protective or jealous, but the truth was that the Alpha has wanted you both almost as long as she's known you. But she didn’t want to make a move while Wanda was grieving, and how does one make a move on two Omegas anyway. Then she noticed the bruises and bites beginning to show. She thought she was too late, that she waited too long.
“You're not messing with me? There's really not an Alpha?” the Alpha questions, afraid to get her hopes up that she still has a chance
The other Alpha shakes her head, “I wouldn't joke around or lie to you about something that involves your heart sestra(sister).”
Nat smiles then, a genuine smile that reaches her eyes and Yelena finds herself smiling as well. She hasn’t seen her sister smile like that since you and Wanda joined the team, and before that the last time was when they were pups on that mission in Ohio.
“Then I have to tell them. I can’t waste anymore time, even if I’m not the Alpha they want, I need them to know my feelings.” she says
“Well uh, just hang on. Because I didn’t actually talk to them. I just caught them, and I kind of told them that I wouldn’t tell anyone about what I saw, so…”
“And what exactly did you see?” Natasha asks, jealousy in her tone
Yelena chuckles, “Relax, it’s not like I meant to. I just went to talk to them and well, as soon as Y/n opened the door the scent was… well, it was very apparent they had just finished mating.”
Nat was torn between being concerned for the two of you getting caught by Steve, Bruce or Dr. Strange, and longing to know what your scents and noises were like when you were together.
The blonde clears her throat, gaining her sister's attention again, “My point is, how are you going to ask to be with them both if you aren’t supposed to know they're together?”
Her brows furrow, “Does it matter if you told me when you know I want them? It’s not like I’m going to tell the others or punish them. I want to ask them to be mine.”
Yelena thinks over her sisters words for a moment, “True, but I don’t want to seem like a liar. I don’t want them to lose trust in me.”
“I’m sure if I explained the situation they wouldn't be upset about anything.” Nat says, hopeful that her sister will just agree so she can go find the two of you
The younger of the two sighs, “Khorosho, prodolzhay (Fine, go on).”
The redhead practically jumps off her bed, making her way to her bedroom door. She quickly turns to look at her sister, “Wait, do I look ok?”
Yelena groans, “Oh for the love of- they've seen you covered in sweat, dirt, mud, blood, and alien blood and you're worried about how you look?” She blushes slightly but nods her head, Yelena rubs her forehead and looks at her sister. The Alpha is wearing some jeans, a long sleeve olive green shirt and has her long hair done in a braid. “You look perfectly fine Natasha.”
She smiles again before finally opening her door and heading down the hallway towards Wandas room. It takes everything in her not to run there. Once she arrives she takes a deep breath before knocking on the door.
Wanda groans as the two of you cuddle in her nest, “Now what.” she grumbles
You chuckle while sitting up, bringing her with you, “Better see who it is Wan.”
She reluctantly gets up and opens the door, “Oh, hi Natasha.” She tries to not appear nervous at the appearance of the sister of the Alpha that was here mere minutes ago, but the way she spins her rings gives her away.
“Hey Wanda. Mind if I come in to talk?” she asks, eyes not leaving the Omegas.
Wanda tries to think of a way to politely decline, afterall you're still in her nest and the room definitely still has hints of her scent from earlier. The Alpha can see the hesitation on her face and decides to help ease her.
“It’s ok, I know who’s in there and what happened.” she tells the Omega
Wanda, torn between being embarrassed, happy, and worried that the attractive Alpha in front of her knew this about the two of you, blushes and has to clear her throat before replying, “S-sure, come on in.”
You look up to see Wanda open the door for- oh god its Natasha. You quickly fumble to get out of the other Omegas nest, “Relax Y/n, you can stay there if you want.” the redhead says and for a split second you forget how to breathe. Though you aren't sure if that was due to being worried or excited that she seemed to know about you and Wanda.
Wanda, seeing the slight panic on your face, rejoins you in the nest. She holds your hand before addressing the Alpha, “Did Yelena send you to talk with us?” she asks, slightly saddened that the blonde told another Alpha despite promising not to
“No, she didn’t send me here but she did tell me because I actually sent her here earlier.” she admits. You both look at her in confusion as she takes a seat on Wandas desk chair.
“Really, why?” you ask
The Alpha suddenly looks nervous, “Over the last few months I’ve noticed that the two of you have had a lot of bruises, scratches and such. It made me think an Alpha was trying to make you both theirs. I didn’t like that idea, it made me jealous because I only noticed these things due to my inability to take my eyes off either of you. I’m always thinking about you both. What it would be like to hold your hands, to cuddle with you, to scent you, to wake up next to you both in the mornings, to be able to call you mine.” she admits
You give Wanda a smile and she nods her head before looking back at Nat, “Don’t wait any longer then, make us yours Tasha.”
Her eyes sparkle as she smiles at the nickname. She stands and makes her way over to Wandas nest. She gently grabs you both by your chins, lifting your faces to look at hers. She stares at both of you lovingly for a few seconds before her lips crash into Wandas. The kiss starts out soft but quickly gets heated and you're left there to watch, anticipation building to feel the Alphas lips on yours.
Eventually they break apart and Natashas lips meet yours, you quickly let her dominate the kiss by opening your mouth to her and she gladly deepens the kiss.
When she pulls back you can see how dilated her eyes are, and you notice the bulge in her pants. Wanda sees it too and both of you are practically begging for the Alpha. She can see the want in both sets of eyes that look at her, it makes her heart race.
“Please Alpha, we want you.” you finally cave, begging verbally now.
You and the other Omega eagerly begin to undress each other for Natasha, you toss each others shirts across the room in your excitement. The scent of your arousal mixes with Wandas in the air and the Alpha can barely contain herself, but she does. Slowly she settles between you both in the nest, Wanda straddles her lap and a smirk graces your features. Nat looks at you to make sure you're ok with this and you nod, eager to see them together as you help the Alpha learn all of Wandas sensitive spots.
Natashas hands caress Wandas sides as she makes her way to unclasp the Omegas bra. Wanda lets it fall from her chest, Nat gently touches her breasts and when she notices the nipples harden her touch becomes firmer and she gently squeezes. Wanda moans and grinds down on the Alpha who grunts upon feeling the Omegas ass rub against her clothed hard cock.
You lean into the Alpha, your hands slipping under her shirt. Your nails rake across her abbs, her head falls back as she lets out a moan of her own. You and Wanda take advantage of this position and begin to kiss and gently suck on Nats neck. Her breathing quickens and you know she's desperate to have you both.
Your gaze moves to Wanda, “Pants off for our Alpha, printsessa(princess).”
Wanda quickly stands to obey, and the Alpha can feel a warmth in her chest from you calling her ‘our Alpha’. She watches Wanda strip the rest of the way and can feel her cock throb in her pants. Wanda slowly crawls back into the nest and Natashas eyes look over to you. You smile as your hands reach for her jeans, she sighs as you undo them. She lifts her hips and you easily slide her pants and underwear off of her.
You can feel your slick pool between your legs as you take in the sight of the Alphas large cock. You watch as Wanda clenches her thighs together, likely feeling the same as you and Nat smirks as she sees both of your reactions. Wanda gently tugs on the Alphas shirt and she gets the hint, she quickly removes it. You and Wanda each reach a hand behind her back unclasping her bra.
She sits there a moment letting the two of you take in her body before the waiting becomes too much for her, “Come here dorogoy(sweetheart)” she says, gesturing for Wanda.
The Omega listens and straddles the Alphas lap once more, she hovers just above Nats cock. It takes a lot of the Alphas focus to not just thrust up into her, instead she takes two of her fingers and slips them through Wandas slick soaked lips. Wanda whimpers at the feeling and she watches as the Alpha sucks her fingers clean.
“You're ready for me, aren’t you dorogoy(sweetheart)?” she asks
Wanda nods her head, “Yes Tasha”
Natasha grabs the Omegas hips and gently lowers her until she feels herself slip inside. They both moan and Nat finds she can’t hold back anymore. Her arms encircle Wanda and she effortlessly flips them over. Now on top she thrusts herself in and out of Wanda at a faster pace. The Omega moans in pleasure and reaches a hand out for you.
You let her pull you closer, the Alpha watches as your lips pepper kisses and suck marks into Wandas collarbone. Upon seeing how much the Omega likes that spot Nat joins you. Wanda gasps and pants at the attention she's getting from you both, she whimpers and moans as Natashas cock pounds into her. She knows she won’t last much longer. You pull back, letting them have their moment.
She cups the Alphas face, “Knot me, claim me, please.”
Nat groans at hearing this and quickly kisses her tenderly, she quickens her thrusting and as Wandas walls begin to squeeze her she can feel her knot grow. It slams against the Omega a few times before she's able to slip inside. They both moan as the Alpha locks into place, Wanda can feel herself being filled with Natashas cum and she trembles as her orgasm washes over her.
The Alpha bites into one of Wandas scent gland and cleans her mark before pulling away, “Mine” she says
Wanda could cry she's so happy, instead she pulls Nat closer, sinking her teeth into her one scent gland, “My Alpha, my mate” she says before cleaning the mark.
While they're joined for the next few minutes your one hand caresses the Omegas cheek as the other runs up and down the Alphas back. Wanda purrs at the affection and Natasha hums as she enjoys having you both so close.
After her knot deflates Nat is slow to pull out of Wanda, not wanting any of her seed to spill. Wanda whines at the emptiness she now feels, the Alpha kisses her tenderly to offer comfort.
Your whine quickly brings her attention to you however. You sit there with your thighs clenched drenched in your own slick, you enjoyed watching them be together but you desperately want the Alpha to take you and claim you too. Wanda smiles as she watches the way Nat looks at you, it's the same way she looks at you.
Natasha crawls off of Wanda and over to you. She brings a hand up to your face and runs her thumb across your cheek. You lean into her touch, craving more. Her hands move to your bra clasp and she quickly rids you of it, then she tugs at the waistband of your pants.
“Take these off for me medovyy(honey)” she tells you. You purr at the nickname.
You gladly obey, you practically jump from the nest to finish undressing. You can feel Two pairs of eyes on you as you do so and you smile. You quickly rejoin them in the nest. The Alphas hands caress your sides as she guides you to lay down. She gently spreads your legs apart and slots herself between them. She practically moans at the amount of slick you've produced.
“Look how wet you are medovyy(honey). You liked watching me fuck Wanda, didnt you?” she asks with a smirk on her face.
You nod, “Yes Tasha.” you reply, the nickname Wanda used earlier slipping from your lips.
She smiles, lining herself up with your pussy. She slowly pushes into you and you moan at feeling her stretch you. She grabs your hips and begins thrusting in and out of you. Wandas hands cup your breasts and you can’t stop the whimpers and gasps that leave you as Nat continues her thrusts. You can feel a heat rush to your core as they both give you attention.
As Wanda begins to kiss and suck at your neck your legs wrap around the Alpha, bringing her closer and deeper into you. She grunts in response, she loves how well you both take her. She leans down and plants a heated kiss to your lips, you moan into it as her thrusts become faster.
Wanda knows you're close. She pulls away from you, giving you and Natasha your moment just as you had done with her. Your walls start to start to squeeze the Alpha and she moans at the feeling, her knot grows and you can feel it gently push at your entrance.
Her eyes meet yours, silently asking if she can knot you as well, “Please Alpha, I want your knot.” you answer
She smiles as her knot slips into you and locks into place. Your legs tremble as you both cum together, her seed practically pours into you and you moan at how full you feel of your Alpha.
She nuzzles your neck before biting into one of your scent glands, she quickly cleans her mark, “Mine.” she says
You smile before sinking your teeth into her other scent gland, you clean it before pulling away, “My Alpha.”
You stay together for a few minutes just as she and Wanda had, and just like you had the Omega caresses your cheek and Nats back. Eventually the Alpha slowly pulls out from you as well and lays back into the nest.
She looks at you and Wanda, “Come her moi devochki(my girls), come cuddle with your Alpha.”
You each snuggle into her sides, you and Wanda hold each others hands and Natasha runs a hand through Wandas hair, her other running through your hair. You both purr at her affection.
Suddenly the Alpha can feel tears from both her Omegas hitting her skin. She panics briefly, worried that somethings wrong or that she's done something wrong.
“My Omegas, what's wrong?” she asks as she gently guides your faces to look at hers
Wanda shakes her head, “Nothings wrong Alpha, we’re just really happy.”
“We’ve wondered what it would be like to have an Alpha for a while now, but until we met you we never wanted a specific Alpha.” you add
“We were worried you wouldn't accept us loving each other or that you'd only want one of us if you even wanted either of us at all.” Wanda adds
Natasha looks at you both, her hands cup your and Wandas cheeks, “Moi devochki(my girls), I have wanted you both since I first laid eyes on you. I knew I wouldn’t be happy without having you both by my side, I knew you were the Omegas meant for me. You have no idea how happy it makes me now to be able to call you mine.” she admits a few tears of her own escaping
Wanda leans in and kisses your Alpha who eagerly returns the kiss, they break apart and rest their foreheads together.
“I love you Tasha.” the Omega says
Nats smile is huge, “I love you too Wanda”
They pull apart from each other and you take Wandas place on Nats lips.
Your smile matches your Alphas, “I love you Tasha”
“I love you too Y/n.” she says as she pulls you and Wanda back into her sides. “And I know you two love each other too, so I want you to be able to bond. Don’t worry about anyone's reactions to it ok? I promise I’ll make sure no one lays a hand on either of you, and I’ll be damned if anyone could take either of you away from me. I’ll keep you both safe.”
Wanda looks at you excitedly as you look up at your Alpha, “You really mean that? You’d let us mark each other?”
“Of course I would, we’re all each others mates afterall.” she answers
Wanda suges forward capturing you lips with her own, Nat chuckles as she watches you struggle to keep up with the intensity of the kiss.
“I want you now printsessa(princess), please.” you beg as she pulls away from you.
She nods eagerly, “I want you too detka(baby), can’t wait to make you mine.”
You lay back for her, Natasha watches as she crawls over to you. One hand teases a nipple as her other makes its way through your folds, you’ve already produced enough slick that she easily slips two fingers inside you. You moan and grind your hips into her hand.
“Please printsessa(princess), I need more” you say
She complies by slipping a third finger into you, she pumps them in and out of you at a faster pace. Nat brings her hand to Your neck, her thumb brushes against the scent gland she marked and you can barely contain yourself. Your walls tighten around her fingers and she knows you’re close, she brings her thumb to circle your clit and your orgasm quickly washes over you.
she leans down and bites into your unmarked scent gland, the pure happiness you both feel as she marks you is indescribable. She's waited so long and was never sure she’d be able to do it. She pulls away after cleaning her mark and smiles at you, “You're my Omega Y/n, just like you always said I would be.”
You smile before bringing her closer, you bite into her unmarked scent gland. You clean it before letting her go, “And you're my Omega.”
The two of you rest your foreheads together as you both shed more tears of happiness, Your Alpha quietly and fondly watches you both enjoy this moment and she's so happy she was able to let you both have this. You both deserved to be able to bond with the other. The love you shared was so pure and wholesome, it should've been illegal to keep the two of you apart.
The two of you pull apart and find yourselves being scooped into your Alphas hold, she pulls you close to her before she lays back, relaxing once more. You and Wanda settle into her sides again as you both purr. The Alpha enjoys hearing you both, she soaks up the sound as the three of you drift off to sleep.
Taglist: @wandaromamoff69 @when-wolves-howl @danveration @sheneonromanoff @sayah13 @likefirenrain @nighttime-dreaming @chaoticevilbakugo @crystalstark02 @wackymcstupid @lovelyy-moonlight @blackwidow-3 @mistressofinsomnia @that-one-gay-mosquito @yomamagf @yourfavdummy @justarandomreaderxoxo @scoutlp23-blog @whoischanelle15 @lissaaaa145 @eline03 @wizardofstories@imthenatynat @marvelonmymind @fluffyblanketgecko @bitch-616 @dakotastorm @zoomdeathknight @aeroae @sashawalker2 @maggieromanov @doveromanoff @mommyluvu @404-almostdone @tarathia @ayoungexwife
#natasha romanoff#natasha romanoff x reader#natasha x y/n#natasha x reader#alpha!natasha#alpha!nat#alpha!natasha romanoff#wanda maximoff#wanda x reader#wanda x y/n#wanda maximoff x reader#omega!wanda maximoff#omega!wanda#wandanat#wandanat x reader#wandanat x y/n#wanda x natasha#wanda maximoff x natasha romanoff#a/b/o fanfic#a/b/o fic#a/b/o universe#a/b/o dynamics#a/b/o
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Yan-Poll #10
[The Stalker Part 2]
Strange was no longer an expression that could be used to describe your life.
Maddening chaos, a whirlwind of panic, fear, and more sinister things came to mind whenever someone asked you how you'd been. You don't even tell them anymore, some of them declaring you mad for still going on about your stalker after so many months, but there never being evidence to show them. They were scared for you in the beginning, but now they were suspicious of you.
You can feel him at all times. Sometimes, you think he brushes by behind you, or you feel his breath against your neck, his eyes on you at all times. But even so, you never met him. He's been there... and yet he wasn't. He never seems to need a day off from his stalking, his break-ins being more like him coming home every day, and neither the police nor security could catch him.
Even when he started delivering you more sinister gifts, like hands and eyes, whenever you refused him.
You pleaded, begged, and asked him to stop, but he was far from it. He allowed you to live your life, but only on his terms. You were to do what he wanted: eat the meals he prepared for you, take a bath when he ran it for you, and even take time off work when he requested it. Intrusively, he was taking over. And after all the misfortune it brought you, you simply... caved. You were so drained of strength that you let him do as he pleased.
It was a surprise that he even let you do things on your own, like buy groceries. Most meals were pre-made by him whenever you got home, but sometimes, he let you cook instead, expecting you to leave some for when he came to visit. He loved your cooking, expressed it so many times before, and 'rewarded' you for it, although it was never a surprise for him. He was watching you, after all. Every. Step. Of the way.
However, you acknowledged it was better than being stuck at home in fight or flight all day.
You dodged everyone at the grocery store, knowing that talking to someone would make him jealous. It was almost ridiculous how much you danced to his tune, but receiving the hand of a woman whose nails you complimented was lesson enough. Quickly, you gathered what you would need, before hurrying to the self-checkout and leaving the potential dangers of public, your heart aching for the times where you didn't need to fear for other's lives in every setting you were in.
Perhaps it was fate that made you go outside that day, the goodwill of the gods you had prayed to all this time. Still, nothing could have prepared you for the accident that took place just before you could reach your home. A car passed you by just moments before you heard the squeaking of breaks, then the deafening crash of machinery ramming into each other.
Screams echoed out before you could turn around, flames lighting up the early-evening darkness. You heard countless people's footsteps rushing out of their houses and passing you by as you stared at the scenery behind you. Sirens were blaring in the distance as you looked at the body lying on the ground, clothed in black. Someone tried to stabilize the person. Tried to help him.
You'd know him, even when he lay mangled and in pain on the dirty ground. Even without ever knowing his handsome face that became unraveled only when the paramedics deemed it safe enough to pull his helmet off. It was him. Your stalker.
When your eyes met, you witnessed a mixture of pain, devastation, but also... happiness in them. Perhaps because you finally knew. His existence was no longer a shadow that threatened you but a human who bled and hurt and deserved help, despite all his misdeeds. You should have felt sympathy for him, but you were so emotionally drained, you couldn't do anything.
But you also couldn't leave.
There was the person who had made your life a living hell. Who made sure you neither slept nor were awake for the last months, who even made you doubt yourself so many times. Who harassed and abused you to the point it made you want to give up resisting. You weren't sure how severe his injuries were, but part of you hoped he'd die. Perish. Disappear from your life.
And another part... wanted answers.
Why did he do all this, why go to such lengths? What was his goal, and why did he need to go about these things in these particular ways? Who were the body parts from, and where were these victims? What happened to them? And most importantly, why did he choose you?
You'd never have the answers if he died now. He'd be gone, but could you ever return to your old life without the answers? Could you live with yourself knowing people died and you survived by pure chance? Because something happened to him before he could do it to you? If he died, you'd never get justice for anyone. Everyone would keep believing you made all of this up. You'd be miserable, and he'd won.
As if he realized your inner tumult, he smiled before turning his head over and putting on his best pained expression towards the medics. Slowly, he raised his arm, pointing towards you and saying some words you couldn't hear, but the paramedics' heads snapped around, suddenly calling out to you.
"Hey! You're his spouse, right? Your husband needs to get to the hospital asap! You can drive with us!"
They didn't wait for you to respond before they started loading him on a gurney, your stalker never looking away from you. As if to say, "You want the answers? Come to me."
Your home was so close that you could run and hide inside, but you might lose the chance to ever get the answers that you'd want or need for your future therapy. Would you ever recover, not knowing if he survived or not? When he'd be back? This could be your last chance to figure things out and bring him to justice, or at least be sure he wouldn't come back to haunt you.
"Hurry!" one of the medics shouted, rushing to your side, perhaps to aid you as they might have thought you were in shock after seeing your husband like this. There was not much time, and you had to decide what you wanted to do immediately.
(Reasoning and discussions welcome! ♥)
#yan-poll#yandere talk#yandere#yandere imagines#yandere headcanons#yandere scenarios#yandere fanfiction#yandere writing#yandere stories#yandere oneshots#yandere oneshot#yandere drabble#yandere x reader#yandere x darling#Yandere TW
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I am dusting off my little blog here because TTPD has my mind absolutely reeling. I am really wondering if anyone else listened to this and had this feeling that the album confirmed everything that they were thinking was going on with her. I know we talk so much about reading her songs beneath the surface of muses or certain details used to craft a story, but to me, TTPD reads so strongly of her reckoning with her life in the industry. like, it's so much more than the relationships. it's the comp het, it's the religious trauma, it's the being exploited as a child star, it's deep wound of abandonment and neglect when she as a person got split off from her brand and both could not thrive, it's giving everything to this brand and career and fandom and that still never being enough. it's her codependency with the very people that exploit her. it's the fact that she is bigger than she ever imagined and none of it feels how she wanted. it's the simultaneous love and resentment she has towards her family, and relationships, and career, and yes, even her fans.
the rawness of this album, the unrefined feel, the summation poem talking about this as mania, the continuation of the cage imagery and themes of escaping to her mind/fantasy, the coping with criticism, numbing it all with alcohol, the willingness to burn it all down and disgrace her name because none of this is what she wants or at least not how she wants.
I have seen so many criticisms of the album and honestly, I understand where they are coming from, but I also think the things they criticize make the exact point of what this body of work is - something that exists for it's own sake to turn things back on the people that made her into what she is now. art created not to be acclaimed but because it demands to be expressed. it is an exorcism, an expulsion. it is something that erupted from her. and it's so meta because this fandom and the industry are voyeurs in an echo chamber so desperate to see what they want that they miss that this is about them. that is what makes it brilliant to me - it is self-indulgent and metaphorical, and complex, and so direct, but yet still masked just enough that people miss it. her entire life has become performance art. it is a play within a play. and I fear the audience has not caught on.
it feels like she is reclaiming it all. I feel like this could either be a hint at a new beginning or a signal that she has broken and this is the end. this felt like the tell-all memoir written in code that everyone else will finally understand when she really leaves this spotlight. it's the lucky one come to life. she is daydreaming about fucking it all and leaving this life behind so she can finally have some goddamn peace.
I love this album for it as art. it is so expressive. it is so heartbreaking. it's messy and nuanced, and I think it is going way the fuck over most people's heads, especially when you really dig into poetry being the theme and the specific works she references. it's only been a week and I am just starting to really dig in but talk about a fucking iceberg.
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"Myrkul [compared to some gods, is autonomous] obeys no one but is influenced by Bhaal and Bane..."
I love this weird connection the Dead Three have with each other and how it never seems to go away completely. I don't think co-dependency is quite the word for it, but they're just utterly toxic for each other, keep fucking each other over, and somehow they keep coming back to this alliance. For some reason the opinion of the others holds sway!
Like Bane is... Bane. He thinks he doesn't need anybody and everyone is subservient to him! He's allergic to his own capacity to enjoy things or feel emotional attachments to people. He just fundamentally can't compute when he cares about someone. Why is he upset they're dead? Bane doesn't know! He also only got as far into the Time of Troubles as he did because he has Myrkul backing him up. He still kind of depends on the other two and at least once upon a time had respect for Bhaal.
Bhaal needs the other two to keep his murder hoboing in check, and they seem to be the only beings in the universe who can (or are permitted by Bhaal) to do so.
Myrkul left him unsupervised for a week once and Bhaal ended up getting distracted trying to kill winged ponies and then got killed, ruining his and Myrkul's plan.
Myrkul, by all accounts, is shooting himself in the foot every time he agrees to work with these idiots and he keeps doing it. Some descriptions have assigned gods mortal-like feelings, wants and needs, so like, is he lonely or what? Myrkul's charisma is abysmal by mortal standards; by divine standards a landfill of rancid trash has more appeal (he spent the last stretch of the Time of Troubles in a sewer, talking to zombies and himself). Bhaal is basically his only friend in existence (Bane is... there. Myrkul doesn't exactly like him, and yet he still works with him.)
The last time these idiots cooperated Bane destroyed Bhaal's worshipper base and got himself killed and thus left Myrkul in a mess, then Bhaal got killed due to murderhoboing and left Myrkul even further in this mess, and somehow the 15th century rolled around and these three agreed to work together again.
Working together worked so well last time! What is wrong with you.
#I'd say please just break up but tbh whatever's wrong with them is funnier#the idiot three#and whatever the fuck is wrong with them and this relationship#long post
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Kot Kot Review
I like Kot Kot a lot.
Despite the almost harsh difference between the intro and how the song progresses, it´s not too out there.
The music seems chaotic and structured, is melodic, nostalgic and two-faced more out of necessity than provocation, and it´s ongoing. It spirals.
There is a lovely moodiness to it that seems mature and balanced, deliberately using the intro as a bridge again and repurposing the funky "kot kot" into something that softens into the lighter part of the song. The change of pace is noticeable but not alarming and almost hopeful.
Kot Kot is not a big song nor does it exist to troll. It enjoys being silly with the chicken theme and builds a narrative that can be purposely misunderstood by people who don´t like him.
During my first listen I was a little confused but intrigued by the seemingly contradicting parts that adapt well by the second listen. Pop and Rap evolve from clashing into shaking hands.
It feels a bit like a song nobody would put on an album anymore because it is deemed barely good enough to keep up with its fellow, more popular tunes. It stands on its own where others see a filler track.
Overall, it makes me have more hope for the album now; for it to be an album and not just a compilation of Singles.
I wouldn´t be surprised if this song was the opening number, nor would I be shocked to not find an Intro at all – Kot Kot is an introduction in itself.
From what I understand of the lyrics, it also is the first song of his that makes me want to know more about him as a lyricist.
To start the song of with MAYDAY is a deliberate choice because the song is not what it seems.
It´s soft spoken and not a shrill cry for help but knows of something that already affects the narrator enough that reaching out soon is imminent. It´s a literal stress signal.
The teaser made me think the protagonist in this song was simply sick of being treated like someone doomed to continue staging a party for others.
Relying on translations and interpretations of this song, the protagonist seems to realise that their lifestyle will rather leave them with very little time spent having fun with friends – because even the party-goers have gone to bed earlier than them.
Those that tried to keep up with them may have lost their step and had to give in to their own different schedules, or are worse off for keeping them company. So their company diminishes further.
There might be little life beyond the lifestyle, the sobering thought that solitude is too close within reach for comfort – the time left after work cannot always be shared nor of quality due to their schedule.
A double blow. Real life and bonding has to be spent in time confetti. Throughout it all, the silliness persists.
Rather laughable is the Explicit rating of this song. Was it the Perhana!?
The ending is a jumpscare, them finally being silly, breaking the cycle. But at the same time, it´s a rooster greeting the morning – the protagonist worked the night away.
For a moment, you are relieved the song is over. And then you play it again.
I would love for the upcoming album to be a concept album.
This song seems to divide people in a different way than songs before it did.
Some of you seem puzzled, others more neutral than hateful, none of the dislike so far is really loud.
The timing might be a bit unfortunate – song releases at this hour have the same problems as the protagonist in Kot Kot.
And even if you really don´t like this song, I fell that there will be something on the album that you will like.
It´s ok to not like things and it doesn´t have to be justified.
Still, I am interested to hear what you don´t like about this song because I think it makes for a worthwhile conversation and I like interacting with you.
Let´s do that while we have the time.
#käärijä#kaarija#kot kot#700 words#no idea why I wrote this much#if you know don´t tell me#I seem to like this song#I like Kot Kot a lot lot#let me know what you think#all typos are due to it being 4:30am and my eyes being drIer than modern-day European soil#btw did you hear me make the chicken sound in the end?#I´m also a bird#lintu out
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My coming out as a trans lesbian. (A message to my followers.)
Yes, everyone. I am "gay", or should I say, I'm a lesbian.
This may come as a shock to some of you since I would talk about "hot men" and even make captions about attracting hunks and whatnot. If you notice an absurd amount of those kind of captions surfacing this past week until now, that's because I was dealing with comphet, short for compulsive heterosexuality. In reality, I do not like men nor am I attracted to masculinity.
Why until now? One, it’s because I wanted to wait for the right time to come out and it was coincidentally on Lesbian Visibility Day. Two, it’s something I've been questioning ever since I found out I was trans. This didn’t happen in a day or two. It’s been years and I would have thought I was just pansexual. However, I was not sure whether I genuinely liked boys or if I just liked their validation. It turns out it's only the latter and I was questioning whether I was really gay or just gynosexual. I admit that getting positive reception from them turned me on and I could see the kindness and affection they displayed towards other women (something that really made me euphoric). But the moment you would place me next them for more, say, intimacy (I'm trying to keep it PG), I felt that spark turn off. Don't even get me started when they're bare or worse, send me D-picks (it's so nasty).
Now, I've never did any of that IRL. But, I've tried to interact with them through social sites. Not just in Tumblr, but in other sites like Grindr. If you ever think of creating a Grindr to meet, don't bother. It's hot garbage! All of them were chasers and not a single one was attractive. Only one "guy" seemed to be "cute"; it was a femboy, who was commencing their transition into a woman. Those were the only men I thought I was attracted to, but the reality is: I was only attracted to their femininity, but not their body or intimacy. Femboys are still men and I'm not attracted to men.
That got me questioning: Am I really only liking people for their femininity or do I genuinely only like girls? To make a long story short, I've never felt so much better than imagining myself being the lovely girl... of another girl! I always loved women as a guy, but now that I'm about to transition, being into women as a girl feels so right for me! No more comphet for me!
I know this is not the norm on these kind of blogs as the majority tend to be attracted to masculinity. However, I do want to say that even trans lesbians exist on the feminization scene. That leads me to tell all of you for the next update: You won't be seeing anymore new straight trans girl captions after the first few days of the next month. That's why you saw those kind of captions bombard my blog these past few days. It's just my way of saying "Let me just get it done with". I'm actually glad you enjoyed them, but I just don't feel any connection to those kind of captions anymore. I'll try to upload them when I can since I've been busier than usual.
Anyways, I'm happy you read this very long post. Even if you're not a lesbian, I hope this note at least gives you an insight on not keeping your true feelings locked any longer. Everyone deserves to be themselves. You should too.
Sincerely,
Nikki.
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do you have any advice for people who are scared of confronting life and reality
from telephone by percival everett: “You kill yourself because you don’t live in this world.”
sorry this is such a brutal way to start answering an ask seeking advice on something that needs like truly crazy levels of tenderness and forgiveness for the self, at least if i’m understanding what you’re asking about—then I think this excerpt is worth including here bc although it doesn’t answer your question it does show what the stakes can be i think. reality is accessible to everyone. even if yours looks and feels different. it’s still yours.
i think that you have to confront life and reality because there is no reality if you don’t confront it and less real life for you. The worst part is thinking about the past in which you did not confront it but you don’t need to do and it is only another deterrent to the confrontation… You absolutely don’t need to regret anything to change and i know it’s so hard to figure out how to feel the urgency of your need to confront things enough to confront them without getting stuck in the pain of having not confronted them yet but tbh It just takes practice and all of the kindness you can find for yourself and then even more.Ans time and continued effort. but mostly kindness for yourself. thinking about why you want to confront your life—not bc you want to, plainly, but because you want yourself to be able to live well.—>Because you don’t want more suffering for yourself because you have love and compassion for yourself. it’s this kind of logic at least that has helped me a lot.
i also think everything that you are and everything that you give wants to find its way back to you and love you but if you are hiding from the world you live in it can’t find you very well!! i think it’s about trying to make yourself visible to yourself and then learning how to look without hatred or pain or regret. Also there’s beauty in reality because reality is true it’s not sinister it just is. and you will find all that beauty. also reality and life misses you. you’re good for it and for the world. It wants you in it and it wants you to know it and love it because it loves you. and your continued existence in the world makes the world feel loved. This is why we care about things
I hope this helped at all much much love
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DANCE WITH ME YOU LI-IA-IAR ♡
OVERBLOT ASHI??? ANYBODY??? the ANGST that this baby can store!!! SHEESH!!!!!!! <3 I only have one post dedicated to her and liar dance lyric analysis (the post is kinda outdated in gen) BUT…… I also have an overblot monologue as a treat 🫶 I wanted to better explain her angst and so!!! BABAM!!! enjoy
ASHI’S MONOLOGUE:
Sometimes I wonder why I ended up here.
A place named “Twisted Wonderland”, and at a school named “Night Raven College”.
At first, I figured that I was the odd one out— Y’know, the Ramshackle prefect and everything. The magicless girl at the magical all boys school? Nuts, ain’t it?
I’m known for a lot of things. Things that are different from the others. The fact that I stand out is part of the Ashi charm, something I’m known for.
But… Over time I found myself sorta feeling in place here.
Because as much as I try to believe it, I can’t safely say that I’m better than anyone else here.
I’m a fake. I make conversation and lots of friends, but for what? A backup in case something goes wrong? A sense of protection for my reputation? In what case are any of those friendships something I truly want? In what case are any of these strings more than just a tool instead of a thread made of my real feelings?
Behind this, I’m no different from any other student here. Even through my individuality, my cheerfulness, my endearing oddness… I’m still a horrible person. Using people to get what I want, toying with people and their feelings in order to gain power and gain a spot the top. All to become untouchable. It’s screwed. It’s not right.
My insides are ugly. The truth of me is something I want to keep tucked away deeply, because I don’t want people to see this part of me. A brash, annoying, selfish version of me, everything people hate to see. I don’t want this side of me to be seen because people will run away— people I don’t care much about, sures, but people I love, too. I don’t want to drive them away. So I keep quiet and give them a shallow show.
I give them a source of entertainment that’s controlled by the real me, every calculated movement translating into a marionette-like response. The only show I allow you to see is one that’s so carefully crafted by the chaotic clown backstage. The one that is shunned away from the light, the strings being the only hint of the puppet’s phony existence to the foolish audience.
But suddenly, I feel as if being here has started to let this side of me come crawling back into the spotlight.
It scares me.
It scares me to be vulnerable, let all of my faults lay out on the table like playing cards. To take the risk without the protection, to gamble everything I’ve built up away just like that. But you…
You.
You make me feel safe. You make me feel as if I don’t need to hide anything. I can give you the key to my heart and you would have no malicious intent. You wouldn’t cut out the parts people don’t like. You would enjoy the performance in full, every bit of it.
You make me believe that I’m nothing special, and yet something so valuable at the same time.
It’s silly. You’re silly. And yet that’s something that’s helped me.
It’s helped me realize that that truly is just how people are.
We aren’t villains. We aren’t antagonists. We aren’t monsters.
We are nothing but people, with faults and feelings that should be valued.
I am more than just a jester, a sake of entertainment.
I’m a person who is entirely worthy of love. All of me.
It reminds me that I must’ve came here for a reason.
Because this is where I belong.
#they drive me nuts. tbh#PLEASE LISTEN TO LIAR DANCE ITS SOOOOOOOOOO#!!! envy baby is also a big Ashi OB song#it’s so fun. she’s so fun#if you can’t tell her overblot works in like….. she IS the blot monster. or the (real) Ashi AKA the jester is#if she represents the true Ashi then the marionette Ashi represents what she pretends to be/puts out into the world#so even if you’re attacking the jestershi and the more antagonistic seeming of the two…… all you’re doing is feeding into the blot itself#as you’re doing what ashi’s afraid of— berating the real her#the solution is to kill the marionette!!! btw!!!!! and that’s what ace does#DW THEY ARE SO FINE AND OK. NO ISSUES HERE#ashace my beloved#ace trappola#ace trappola x oc#twst ace#twst yume#twst#twisted wonderland#twst oc#twst wonderland#disney twst#twst yuu#twst oc x canon#ashipiko draws ♪#twstshi#I DONT THINK I REALLY POST ABOUT ASHACE LORE A LOT#APRY FROM LIKE? THE FIC ITS IUST SILLIES#so I hope you guys enjoy!!!!!!
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I cannot let this show go without writing my goodbyes... Deep Night Final EP
Deep night was everything and more. It was a show that was made with insane love, thought and care and it fucking shows. That loves shines through the screen and it is GUARANTEED to warm your cold dead heart.
Cheewin has always made his shows a bit more grounded, a bit more queer, a bit more real. Since YYY you can just tell there's someone in the crew that understands queer experience and this was it again. The good parts, the sad parts, the struggle without exploting it for pity. It showcased confusion and acceptance and love and love and love. So many different kinds of love.
Wela and Khemtid
These two developed so beautifully, from people who misunderstood eachother, to people who felt attracted to each other but still didn't get it, to people who listened, apologized, leaned on, supported, loved, cared for eachother. Khemtid's enchantment with wela blossomed after they fought about Wela's job, he realized that acceptance was the better route to take and he just worked hard to get it right, to make up for it, to help. Wela at the same time tried so hard as well to understand Khem's feelings, making it easier for them to reach the middle ground. He worked so hard with Khem to keep the club afloat, he was never mean to his coworkers, he carried the whole world on his back and still stood proud. They went from strangers to these two adorable dorks who hold hands and smile while kissing. I'm sorry but Khemtid smiling like he just won the world while giving his injured bboyfriend a handjob at the back of the club made my heart burn. That's complicity and partnership and mischief and intimacy. They stand on equal ground and that's so meaningful to me.
Then we have these three dorks
The true rivals to lovers. I talked about this in my previous Deep Night post but it was brilliant. Their storyline developed so subtly and naturally I cried last week. The way Japan and Ken's love bloomed out of love for Seiji... like it's not that they're just dating Seiji, they're dating eachother and that comes from a trust that developed from and understanding, that grew from care into desire. Last week's episode showing Japan as the center of his fantasy showed that, Japan is also attracted to Ken, and Ken's heart has melted for Japan as well, unknowingly. The talk they had was so necessary, so respectful and rooted on concern and an actual attempt to build something that left no one out. Seriously the way they're sitting in the end, with Ken brushing Japans hand, the way Japan held Ken's hand and brought him into the hug to welcome him, to shelter him. I love that it wasn't fetishized. (Because we've tackeled threesomes before in other shows but not romantic love) I love them, they love each other, this is healing.
Freya and Meiji
They are EVERYTHING. Honestly the role of women, specifically queer women in queer spaces has been overlooked for way too long. They take on the role of caring, protecting and supporting the whole club, the boys themselves and themselves. The fact that Freya's character was divorced and was constantly under attack from her ex-husbands family now existing with a same-sex partner was so complex yet beautifuly handled. Meiji was not just some random chic they threw in to gay it up, she was important to Freya, she helped at the club, she wasn't much around but when she was on screen she was Freya's rock. The talk on age... bro that shook me to the bone. Media is so focused on youth their questioning was so valid and so painful to watch... but it healed. Fuck I'm crying watching this. Everyone deserves to be loved by THEMSELVES.
Khem and Freya
gET TF OUT I WANT TO BE ALONE this mother-son relationship was amazing. Both characters grew so much out of love for each other I want to swallow a shotgun. The was it was alway Freya trying to gain Khemtids approval was so heartbreaking, and watching Khemtid LEARN to accept and love his mom, accept and love the club, accept and love the role they play... fuck. FUCK FUCK FUCK
Also we cannot forget Dai
I don't even have words to explain how great this character was. Outfits on point, personality strong and unmoving, loud and authentic and accepted and part of everything and capable and necessary and just EVERYTHING. And the fact that Dai was perceived as a potential love interest for Freya without it being a joke or mockery was gold.
Apart from that, all of these characters and storylines are interwoven in a net of complexity, social norms, real struggles but also real coping mechanisms. I also want to LOUDLY RECOGNIZE the work put into it, as they all worked hard to actually get on stage and perform acrobatics like their characters. There was just so much attention to detail and to making things right I want to cry just thinking about it. Please please please if you havent... Watch it. It may not be revolutionary but it's perfect to me.
Deep night is a very queer show that decided to open a lot of wounds just to let them heal properly.
THANK YOU DEEP NIGHT. I expected nothing from you and you're now part of me.
#deep night final ep#deep night the series#nah but i cried like 18 times writing this#and theres so much stuff I didn't mention#the whole discourse on recognizing this line of work#i love them#khemwela#kenseijipan#bl drama#deep night bl#thai bl#im crying again#wela and his moooooom#freyameiji#ql#thai ql#queer
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There's a demon that's been spotted around your city, around your neighborhood. All the local monster hunters are getting ready to find it, it won't be the first time some dangerous creature got loose in your city and had a hunt out for it. But this one is dangerous, she's faster than most cyptids, humanoid but not from a humanoid species that's known or common, and she's deadly, a few days after she's spotted its found that she kills. Somebody was found dead in the winter snow, on a street corner, with her claw marks on his chest.
You're not a monster hunter. But you are interested in these types of things, and you thought you spotted her one night and chose to give chase, against your better judgment you gave chase. You just want to see her, you just want to see something so strange, so inhuman. And when you see her she's as strange as you can imagine, most of her looks humanoid, slender and graceful, like the most beautiful human you've ever seen, but she has eyes with slit pupils like a cats, and long horns coming from her head, and sharp teeth in her mouth, bat like wings come out her back, and a scorpion's tail from the base of her spine, and where her genitals should be, instead there's the body and head of a snake coming out of her body. She's beautiful and horrifying.
When she comes near you she doesn't hurt you, she just looks at your camera. She doesn't seem to know what it is. When she realizes you're as harmless as you are she let's down her guard. You're afraid, but you slowly realize she's not interested in hurting you. She seems cold, it's very cold and she's not wearing any clothing. You offer to let her into your apartment, just for a night, just because nomatter what she is she deserves to be warm.
She lays on your bed for awhile, she seems so excited just to be on a bed, just to see a bed. She spends awhile under the covers. You were originally planning on letting her sleep on your couch, but she seems so excited to have a comfy bed. She finds one of your plushes and starts cuddling it at one point. You've never seen someone so happy just to have a place to rest.
In the morning the demon is still there. You don't want to kick her out. You bring her food and she seems really paranoid, it seems like a lot of people have hurt her before. You have to leave the room while she eats. But she does seem really happy to have something to eat at all.
Eventually you ask her about who she is. She says she doesn't have a name, and doesn't remember when she was born. She admits to having killed those people, which scares you to be reminded of, it scares you to hear her say it. But she tells you they shot at her, and she doesn't seem like a good enough lier to lie about that. They shot at her the momment they saw her. She was demonized for it, but it's the right of all creatures to attack someone trying to kill them, rather than die.
She really likes being in your apartment. You let her barrow your clothes, though she doesn't like wearing clothing, except for pajamas which she wears when she sleeps. You show her cartoons she can watch, and give her paper and pencils to draw with. It takes awhile for her to be willing to show you her drawings, but when she does they're quite good, you compliment them, and her face lights up. It takes her awhile to feel comfortable being touched by you too, but when she let's you she starts to love your affection, she likes being pet, and hugged, and cuddled, you don't think she's felt these things in a long time.
You let her stay longer than you expected too. There's still people hunting her. And there's still the winter, she says she's been through worse, but it's getting colder. Eventually you even introduce her to some freinds who you know you can trust. You just let her rest there, and part of you home this can just be a way she can exist, getting to draw, and have her head pet, and laying in bed when she wants to. You end up talking with her a lot, she's passionate about stories, and about things she finds pretty, and she loves asking you about the world, and about humanity, about all these things that are alien to her.
Eventually she tells you she has to leave. You try to tell her to stay a little longer, but it's a demon's nature to be free. She's been hurt by humans before, hurt by more than cold and bullets, but by binding spells, and deals she shouldn't have made. And as spring comes she needs to find a new city, and new space to exist it. You spend your last night together cuddling in your bed, and she tells you of ancient lands, and stories nobody else remembers. And then in the morning she's gone, she said she might visit you again, but for now she's gone. You thought you would see her leave but she spared you that pain, she thanked you for being warm to her as you fell asleep, and let your hands run across her cold skin. And now your room lays empty.
#196#my thougts#worldbuilding#writing#my worldbuilding#my writing#fantasy#urban fantasy#magical realism#short story#short fiction#flash fiction#original fiction#demons#angels and demons#demon girl#demon#devil#cryptids#cryptid#hurt/comfort#sympathetic monster#cuddles
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Ok regarding that “can i make Yves do my homework if I give him my childhood pictures” ask, exactly how much access does Yves have to our lives? Does he have images or videos from when we were still a baby or would they be new information to him?
A bunch of my baby pictures and videos are lost because my dad lost the computer that had them but we recently found my aunt’s old camera filled with our childhood pictures, it was a pleasant surprise for us but would it be for Yves too?
It absolutely is. If Yves was there with you while your aunt showed you the photo gallery of her old camera, Yves would momentarily lose a bit of inhibition and let his pupils dilate to a maddening degree before instantly constricting it back to appear normal. It's a rare, super deluxe edition photos of you, there isn't anything else like it out there as they're most likely not uploaded to the internet or a cloud based service, where he could easily hack.
Him coming across media from your childhood or at least during those early days where people still go to and get their photos developed, is like winning the lottery for him. Because, although he tries to collect everything relating to your existence, there is only so much he can do in a day. He rather prioritizes the present and the future, as the past is the past; neither you nor him can change it, he can only understand or connect it to your current behaviours or thought patterns.
He does have some information about you as a baby or a child, but that is if they're "readily available" to him. (I.e., it can be found in predictable places like in your childhood home.), that is why, Yves would try to build a good relationship with people you grew up with, to extract information.
Despite being reclusive as he is, Yves would never fail to attend every and any family gathering he is invited to or expected to come. Encouraging that drunk uncle to drink more if he knew he has something to say about you, bribing your relatives with gifts and career opportunities, perhaps even drugging that really difficult and combative cousin to make them more bearable to interrogate.
As soon as he knew your aunt could be another goldmine of your data, he would get to work. Wasting no time building a rapport with her, it's a piece of cake given how obsessive and manipulative his nature is.
Inevitably, your aunt will come to love him and see Yves as family. By extension, her relationship with you will skyrocket too, she will invite you to her place much more often even though she might not be the most sociable person in the first place. Yves will find a way to make her bend to his whims.
The majority of their conversations would be about you, only sometimes Yves would talk about something else if it meant he could keep the drive to spill more about your lore going. His sharp ears and mind will pick up on clues as to where he might find more pictures or writings about you. He would then break into your aunt's home to give it a thorough shakedown and leave without a trace. Yves would repeat this process until he's positive that she has nothing left to offer. That camera is getting fucking stolen and replaced with a duplicate.
It didn't matter if your aunt was a minimalist or a severe hoarder, he would go through all her things just to try and find pieces of your puzzle. He would wade through cobwebs, dust piles, rat droppings and mould if he had to, Yves isn't scared to get dirty to obtain what he wants, "squeamish" isn't in his vocabulary.
When she is robbed of all your essence, Yves would become distant. Not hostile towards her, just cold and indifferent. He would still maintain some sort of relationship with her though, in case she becomes useful again later. As of now, he either puts his entire focus on your current peripheral and direct life, or start to hunt other members down- from his snooping, he had learned of other people who may have valuable input about your childhood.
All of this is happening in the background. You wouldn't suspect a thing, there wasn't a dip in his attention for you. In fact, he may have gotten a lot more smothering, as Yves would be shaking at the thought of testing out his new theories and hypothesis that were birthed from his new knowledge.
He just loves you so much that he couldn't help himself but to get greedy. Yves wants all of you; past, present and future. And any version of you that could have been.
#yandere#yandere oc#yandere x reader#yandere male#oc yves#yandere concept#tw yandere#yandere oc x reader#yandere x you#male yandere oc x reader
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