#yknow those posts that are like “I wish I could listen to this song for the first time again”? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kenzumekodma · 2 years

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18+, minors & ageless blogs dni

pairing: izuku midoriya x fem!reader

wc: 4153

warnings: praise kink, pet names (bunny, princess), fae!deku, fantasy au, oral (f recieving), vaginal fingering, unprotected sex, implied pervy deku, it’s rly soft and that should be a warning in itself, no beta we die like sean bean in fantasy media

a/n: happy birthday to me! this is v v v self indulgent and akdjsbd i am not sorry reader is me w no face. also, surprise, am back posting after like 8 and a half months of not having the mental energy for it ayyyyyy. kinda set it up for a second part but lord only knows if i’ll get back in the headspace to write it. as always, if you like this and want to encourage me to write more, reblogs are the way to go!

find my masterlist here!

I wish… I wish I could be anywhere but here!

Eyes still closed, you take a shallow breath in and let the force of your air blow out your candles. Sure, you’re a little too old, you think, to be making a frivolous wish, one that only a child could believe would come true. And you knew it wouldn’t, despite the faint glimmer of hope nestled deeply inside your chest. Wouldn’t it have been better to spend your birthday wish on something more realistic, like hearing back about the job interview you had, or getting a raise like you’ve deserved for so long? If you were going to believe in magic, in tipping fate’s favour in your direction, it should be about something that’s within your control to help along, right? But fate works in mysterious ways.

You open your eyes, and the tiny bit of hope in your heart turns to coals. Nothing around you has changed. Your friends are still sitting around the table, looking at you expectantly to cut your cake. As you search for the knife, you could swear you see a flash of dark green from the corner of your eye.

“You okay?” your friend asks, and you notice your eyebrows are knit in confusion.

“Yeah, yeah, it’s, uh, just those little spots you get when you close your eyes too hard, yknow?” You make a show of blinking and force a smile to your face.

——

By the time you’re home, showered, in bed, and listening to music, you’d nearly forgotten about your wish entirely. It’s not until another voice chimes in with the song playing from your speaker. A velvety voice sings along to the words the owner seems to know, hums along to the others. You enjoy it for a moment, until you realize you’re in your room, and you live alone.

What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck? Did someone break in here to sing karaoke? At least they’re not off key… but still what the fuck??? Your thoughts cycle through in half a second, eyes still frozen ahead of you. As you move them to blink, though, you notice the same shade of green as before out of the corner of your eye.

“Did you follow me home?” you ask, dread pooling in the pit of your stomach at the thought that the voice might actually respond. Never once have you wished that you’d had an auditory hallucination more in your life. The green blob encroaching on your peripheral vision jumps.

“I-in a way, I guess?” the voice responds. “You can see me?”

“I’m trying not to, obviously,” you say, still frozen looking at the ceiling. A shiver of discomfort runs up your spine, and you know he’s looking at you. “Who are you and why are you here?” you demand, wavering voice giving you away.

“I, uh, I kind of live here?” his tone is as much of a question as it is an answer. “I’m, um, your guardian faerie. Izuku.” he tacks on his name, an afterthought.

“Bull fucking shit, you can’t live here because I live here. And guardian faerie? Get your folk tales right, it’s a guardian angel. Get, get out of my apartment before I call the cops,” you shout quietly, being careful to not alarm your neighbours. Poor choice, you think, but just in case you can resolve it yourself, or in case what this strange man is saying is true.

You finally bring yourself to look at him, rage evident on your face at having been inadvertently spied on. Gossamer wings peek out from behind his wide shoulders, the same verdant shade as his hair and eyes, you notice. The same green you saw flitting at the corner of your vision when you made your wish.

“I kind of live here because I, I keep an eye on you, so to speak? It’s hard to explain.”

“Turn around,” you request, your voice firm. This stranger, this Izuku, does as you ask, and you see dainty slashes cut in the back of his jacket to accommodate the wings sprouting from between his shoulder blades. “If what you’re saying is true, you can show me where you’re from, right?”

“I can’t not show you where I’m from,” he says, fiddling with the hem of his jacket, suddenly very interested in his feet.

“That’s a double negative. You can, then,” you conclude. “Take me there.”

Izuku grimaces, but gets up from his spot at the end of your bed. Energy pricks at your skin, the air’s charged like lightning about to strike. It picks up until the hair on your arms is standing up as the freckled man before you drags the palm of his hand down the panel of your bedroom door. He opens it unceremoniously to show you what at first looks like nothing. The closer you get, though, the more the other side comes into focus. Overlaid with your hallway, you see a forest at dusk, tinged green by the portal between you and Izuku’s home plane.

“If you go through here, I need you to stay quiet, stick by me, and don’t get noticed,” he says. He’s barely finished stating his conditions before you’re walking headfirst into the unknown realm. He jumps after you, sealing the portal back up as quickly as he can.

Your stomach lurches, and you wonder how Izuku manages to go between worlds so effortlessly, but you’re soothed as the prickling energy dies down. It should come with a warning, though. May cause vertigo, not recommended for children under the age of 12 or anyone human at all, Jesus… you think as you blink hard to try to regain your balance. It has the opposite effect though, as you find yourself tumbling into another creature. A blond man with a knowing smile looks down at you.

“S-sorry, new here, first day,” you mumble as you shake your head and duck behind some trees in the way you came. Izuku couldn’t have gone far, right? He came through after you, unless he left you here and took your apartment for himself. But he said to stick by him? At least that’s what you think you heard, you didn’t stay long enough to process what he was saying.

“Aoyama! Good to see you!” Izuku says. Diverting Aoyama’s attention to him should keep him from seeing you, and should also let you know where he is, he thinks. You catch on quickly, and crouch down, low enough to not be seen through the bushes between trees. Seconds creep by like minutes until you spot Izuku’s red shoes like a beacon and tug on his pants to let him know you’re here.

“Midoriya! It’s been so long, have you gotten tired of your mortal girl? You’ve been there quite a while, even took up their style of dress? Tres fashionable, my friend,” Aoyama takes the greeting as an invitation to catch up.

“No, uh, no not yet,” Izuku laughs sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’ve got some urgent business, catch up later?”

“Of course, of course. I won’t keep you.” Aoyama waves, and you get the feeling that he looks to the grass, exactly where you’re on your hands and knees, holding your breath. But you must be imagining it, right?

“That was fucking close,” Izuku says under his breath. “You didn’t let him see you, right?”

You weigh your options for the briefest of moments, before shaking your head side to side.

“Good. It’s lucky it was a friend, though, it could have been way worse,” he says and you breathe a sigh of relief.

“What is this place?” you ask.

“This,” Izuku gestures broadly to the forest around him as you stand up, faint lights of a city in the trees glistening in the distance. “This is Fae. You’ve heard fairy tales before, right? Well here, they’re history. Everything has to come from somewhere. Somewhere where there’s a kernel of truth to everything.”

“Where there’s a kernel of truth to everything? Oh, so what they say about the fae, in my world, it’s true? You can’t lie?”

“Nope. We have to be very careful with our words.”

“Try telling me you’re a purple octopus,” you challenge.

“I-, I’m-,” he tries to start as you giggle. “Oh, stop it, you know I can’t!” He feels his cheeks heat up, and he’s never felt more glad that you’re warming up to him enough to joke around.

“Do you let all the girls you bring to the forest tease you?” you chuckle.

“I haven’t brought anyone back here before,” he says. There’s been no one but you, he thinks, and it’s on the tip of his tongue, but he knows as much as anyone from his world that you shouldn’t let the whole truth go at once. “I shouldn’t have brought you here, it’s dangerous. You’re not supposed to be here, who knows what’ll happen if they find you.”

“If who finds me?” you ask.

“Let’s hope you don’t find out,” he says gravely.

You roll your eyes and turn to make off towards the glittering lanterns in the distance, but a large, scarred hand catches your wrist and for the second time tonight you’re frozen in place by the strange man claiming to be your guardian faerie.

“I’m not kidding, don’t go off on your own. Stay with me. We’ll go anywhere you want, I promise, but I need you to stay with me.” His skin is warm wrapped around yours, and in such close proximity you notice more about him.

Lightly tanned skin, more freckles than you noticed before, his eyes are like a reflection of the forest itself. It’s as if you’re looking at him in high definition, like every human feature he has is amplified and more beautiful than you could’ve put together in your imagination. He’s tall, too. Tall enough you have to tilt your neck back to look him in the eye from this angle. If you were to look head on, though, you’d see the muscle his jacket hides being hinted at by the t-shirt that’s just tight enough across his chest.

“Okay, fine,” you nod, increasingly aware of how close his face is, if only a fair few inches above yours.

“That’s a good girl,” Izuku says. His eyes immediately go wide, and he hopes you don’t recognize where he got that from. Instead, you look down quickly and go quiet. “I, uh, f-forget I said anything, sorry. Wh-where do you want to go?”

You clear your throat. “I want to see the lights,” you decide.

“We’ll have to stay toward the outskirts, but we can do that. The city’s all done up right now, you know. It’s real pretty.”

—-

It doesn’t feel like long, but maybe time passes differently here, you think. The full moon shines brightly above you and you guess it must be past midnight when you arrive near the city gates. You’ve never seen such a beautiful sight in your life, it’s like something that was plucked straight from your childhood daydreams. From your vantage point in the distance, you see elaborate wooden buildings with thatched roofs with moss creeping up the side walls. A circle of stones stands in what you can only imagine is the town square towards the gate. And in the background, sprawling over the city, letting its leaves seemingly touch the sky as well as its citizens, is the most grand willow tree. Paper lanterns adorn the post beside every door, a peculiar yet familiar series of dots poked into each one, letting the light shine through.

“What are those?” you ask, pointing to the lanterns.

“The stars on them? It’s the constellation Perseus. It’s named after an old, old hero from your world. You know, we share the sky,” Izuku explains. “If you think of it like this, there’s an infinite number of worlds, right? Thin as paper, sandwiched one on top of the other between nothingness and the sky. The void is infinite, and so are we. It has a way of making you feel alone but comforted, doesn’t it?”

“That might just be you,” you say, and you’re not sure whether you mean it’s only him that feels comforted, or it’s only him that’s comforting you. “A-anyway, you said there’s a festival, right? What does that have to do with a hero from my world?”

“Right! Every year around this time, there’s falling stars. I, I think you call them a meteor shower? Which sounds like stars taking a bath, but that doesn’t matter. When you watch them, it looks like they’re coming right out of the constellation, so they’re called the Perseids. Did you, uh, want to see them? I know somewhere we won’t run into anyone else,” Izuku offers.

“Yeah, I’d really like that,” you smile, and you think to yourself that just maybe your birthday wish is coming true after all. The coal of hope inside your chest fans into an ember as Izuku takes your hand to guide you to a secluded meadow about fifteen minutes away from the city.

“I used to come here as a kid when I wanted away from everything,” he says, letting go of your hand to balance himself. “Watch your step, the trail gets kind of rocky here.”

The words are barely out of his mouth when a rock slips under your foot, tripping you, and sending you flying into Izuku’s back. You tumble the remaining twenty feet or so, landing in the clearing, and let out a sigh of relief as you feel you’re on solid ground. Hanging your head, you move to get up and find where Izuku ended up.

“This, uh, this isn’t what it looks like, right?” Izuku’s voice comes from underneath you. To your surprise, what you thought was firm ground was muscle.

“I, I uh, it’s not, it’s not!” you exclaim, holding your hands where he can see them. It’s a shame, though, that you don’t quite have your balance, you think, as you fall face first onto his chest.

“You’re not making a good case for yourself, y’know,” he laughs, easing the tension. “If, if you wanted me that badly, you could’ve just said,” he teases.

“I don’t, I swear!” you protest, your ember glowing bigger.

“Are you lying to me, human?” He’s not sure he’s teasing this time. You swallow, your eyes meeting his.

“I, I am.”

With a boost of confidence, Izuku leans up to capture your lips with his own. He’s tender, his soft lips moving gently against yours as you reciprocate the kiss.

“I have to know, though. How long have you been ‘kind of living’ in my apartment?”

Izuku’s face flushes. “It’s been more than a few months. Can, can I explain more later? I’ve wanted to do this since I set eyes on you, I want to treat you properly. Anything you want to know, the answers are yours, I promise. Let me show you what you deserve.”

You nod, and he takes the permission to take your face in his hand. His kiss is more fervent now. A bonfire graces your chest with its presence. It feels like forever and yet not long enough before you break the kiss for a breath. You smile and put your hand over his, turning your head to press a soft kiss to the pads of his fingers. His breath hitches, making you smile wider.

“Y’know, I could get used to you being around,” you murmur to him.

“I want to be around, I want you to see me around,” he whispers back.

Izuku’s strong arms wrap around you, pulling you close to his chest. He rolls with you, his wings unfurling to cast a peridot haze over you with the moonlight. Kisses trail down your neck, to your chest, as one of Izuku’s hands holds your waist, the other keeping his balance. Through your clothing, he nips at your breast, then your other one.

“You’re beautiful,” he breathes. He lifts the hem of your dress up just enough to pepper gentle kisses on your skin, the light touch making you squirm. “Ticklish, or eager?” he asks.

“Both,” you confess. His fingers toy at the elastic of your panties. “If you’re going to take them off, then take them off,” you tell him.

“Maybe I won’t now,” he smirks. “Maybe you’re going to have to earn that privilege.”

“H-how-?” your question is cut off by Izuku’s wandering hand easing your breast from the confines of your dress and latching his lips around your nipple. The swirl of his tongue and the light scrape of his teeth have you clenching around nothing, and you could swear there are double the stars in the sky above you.

“C-can you do that, but, ah, d-down…” you trail off, embarrassed by the idea of saying what exactly you want out loud.

“Between your legs? Of course, bunny, anything to make you feel good,” Izuku smiles and presses the softest of kisses to your forehead. “You just have to say the magic word.”

“P-please, can you?”

“That’s my girl,” he beams.

His deft fingers work their way under your waistband, taking his time as Izuku slides your panties down your thighs, over one ankle, and then the other before they’re laying forgotten in the grass somewhere. He shuffles himself down as gracefully as one can manage in the dark of night until his head rests on the plushness of your inner thigh.

Your folds glisten silver in the reflection of the moon, the light of it making you look as though you’re glowing from inside. Izuku licks a soft strip from your opening to your clit, relishing the taste of your essence he’s been dying to have for many, many months. And like with a fine meal, once he’s had a taste, there’s no stopping him.

Your whole body shudders as he teases his way around in circles, getting close to your sensitive bud but never quite touching it. A loud whimper is torn from your throat when he finally flicks his tongue up across it. Primal and hungry, it’s purely human, and music to his ears. He darts his tongue into you to give you a brief respite before latching around your clit, alternating between suckling light pressure and giving you broad strokes with his tongue flattened.

“Don’t stop, don’t stop, don’t stop, please, ‘Zuku!” you cry out, and he knows you’re a hair’s breadth away from the edge. He pulls back, forcing your body to calm back down.

“Wh-what’d you do that for?” you can’t stop the pout on your face from forming.

“Trust me, okay? It’s gonna feel even better around my cock. Wanna make you feel so good, bunny. Doesn’t my pretty girl wanna feel good?”

You nod, hellbent on being good for him, and he smiles, the wetness of your arousal glistening around his mouth. Izuku leans down and kisses you once more, this time you taste yourself on his tongue.

“When you feel like you’re ready, let me know, okay? I have to prep you a little first, I don’t want to hurt you.” He peppers kisses along your cheek, and you look away, but smile and nod. “Getting shy on me?” he chuckles. You start to shake your head, but nod instead. “You’re cute, you know that?”

“‘M ready, is what I am,” you counter. The white hot feeling in your abdomen has subsided, although the fire in your chest is hotter than the core of any star you’ve ever seen.

“You sure?”

“Mhm, I’m ready for you ‘Zuku.”

Izuku presses one last soft peck to your lips before repositioning his face between your legs once more, this time with his fingers circling your entrance, ready to take the plunge.

“It’s going to stretch a little, okay?”

“‘Kay.”

With his tongue flat, he licks your clit with very little pressure, just enough to distract you from the intrusion of one of his fingers. The stretch isn’t as bad as you’d expected, and he finds your little bundle of nerves without any issue. When he adds a second finger, though, you inhale sharply.

“Look at me, princess. You’re doing so well for me, so well. Taking my fingers so well. So good, princess,” he says between kisses to your mound. You mewl at the praise, you’d do anything to hear it again.

“‘Nother one, gimme a-another one, please.”

He scissors his two fingers inside you, stretching you until he’s sure you can take a third. Slowly, he withdraws his fingers, and slower still he pushes three back inside, being sure to suckle and flick his tongue quickly around your clit to keep you from clenching too tightly around them. You adjust quicker than he expects, something he’s thankful for. His cock is getting too hard to ignore, straining at his pants as it is.

“Ready, bunny?” He waits as patiently as he can for you to nod before he pulls his fingers out. Fumbling with his pants seems to take an eternity to him, and he curses mortal fashion for putting aesthetics over functionality.

“Let me,” you say quietly. You reach out, and with a swift motion you have his pants undone, threatening to fall down his waist.

“Thank you. Such a good girl for me, you are. So helpful,” he showers you in praise.

He takes a moment to memorize every inch of your face, the curve of your hips, the soft texture of your skin underneath him as he lines himself up to sink himself into you. You gasp softly as he slowly pushes his tip past your ring of muscle, and you’re so glad you let him stretch you for as long as he did. He feels big, big enough you’d have tapped out if he hadn’t.

You feel a vein slide against your velvet walls in the most delicious way, and you clench around his thick girth.

“‘M not even in all the way, bunny,” he breathes out a chuckle. Forever and a day seems to pass by before he’s sunk himself into you to the hilt. “Say the word an’ I’ll start moving,” he says, dizzy already from how tight and sweet you are.

“P-please, ‘Zuku,” you beg, “feel like I’m gonna explode if you don’t move,” you whimper. Izuku has never been one to deny you anything. Any little push of fate, anything he can help you and get away with, he has. Hell, his intervention is the long ago catalyst to your tryst, but he’ll tell you about it later, he thinks. Until then, all he wants to think about is how right it feels to have your legs wrapped around him, to have you to himself so intimately.

His thrusts are slow and deep, and when you close your eyes, you see shooting stars more clearly than you can with the meteor shower going on above you. You rock your hips into his, desperately pushing your lips to his neck, kissing every free inch of skin you can get your lips on.

“Close?” asks Izuku.

“Y-yeah, ‘m t-too close,” you whimper. He ensnares you in a searing kiss.

“Go ahead, princess, cum for me,” he murmurs against your lips. With a whine, you’re gripping him inside and out, like you’ll never let him go. Your eyes squeezed shut as he rips the orgasm from your body. “S-such a good girl, good princess, so good, g-good,” Izuku babbles as he tumbles off the edge, releasing thick ropes of sticky white inside you. His damp curls stick to his forehead as he rests his head against yours. You settle your hand in his hair and pull his head down just a little bit further to press a kiss to his lips.

“L-look, there’s so many of them,” you say, looking just behind his head to the night sky. If you didn’t know better, you’d say dozens of stars were falling from the sky just for the two of you. Izuku leans on his forearm, letting himself fall to the side and pulling you in close to him.

“You’re like my own little star who’s come to the ground,” he says quietly, kissing your temple.

“Is, is this all because of my wish earlier? Do you think?” you ask.

“I can’t be sure, but I think so.”

“Whether it is or not, this is the most I’ve felt alive in as long as I can remember,” you confess. The sun itself can’t rival what was once an ember in your chest threatening to go out. “I hope no matter what plane, I don’t have to be without you again.” Izuku pulls you closer in his arms, admiring you as you look from him to the sky once again.

“I hope so too, bunny. I hope so too.”

taglist: @patchworkpuzzle @jozhenji @hanayanetwork

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wally-friggin-franks · 5 months

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PART THREE (take two) YOU GOT IT PAL

actually writin' this in my notes, so, uh, hopefully i'll remember the way i wrote some of this stuff-

the biggest story on my mind right now is when henry was tryin' ta work late for the third, maybe fourth day in a row. and i wasn't havin' it. that day i had baked breadrolls, so i just waltzed up to him, gave him some, n' just. talked with him. had a chat, yknow? eventually, i convinced him ta go home and get some rest. i'm glad that i could. i also wanna make those breadrolls again some day- they were one of th' only things i could safely make that weren't too shabby, and they were pretty easy fer me. maybe soon.

the next story was when i was helpin' clean the warehouse. clutter, beams, junk, etc... i was just strong enough to help move this stuff. i wasn't entirely helpless, heh. anyways, i was in the middle of movin' a huge metal beam, it's hoisted onto my shoulder, and friggin' bertie is standin' in my way. now. a normal person would say "hey! excuse me, gotta get through!" but not me. cos i didn't like th' guy. so i just. "accidentally" knocked him unconcious with the beam. everyone believed me, sayin' that i "didn't have th' smarts ta pull it off" WELL I DO AND I DID AND IT WAS ON PURPOSE. take THAT. and the warehouse guys didn't help move anythin' it was just me n' lacie

i think i'll save th' repurposed coat closet story for a while, at least 'til i draw what it looked like. it was awesome. i would make that its own seperate post.

although, i'll gladly tell about the writin' department. usually, that place was dead quiet. could hear th' drop of a pin, and then everyone was lookin' at it. but this particular day, everyone was shoutin' and pointin' fingers, all thanks ta friggin connor wheatley. cos he didn't like alice angel. "boo hoo women character waaah waah weh weh weh BLEUGH." he got punched. i let it happen. after that, i slammed my broom handle to th' floor, and everyone went quiet enough for me to go clean. soon as i left, everyone was back at it again, heh.

if you ever were t' hear susie sing, you'd know the recordings NEVER did her voice justice. sounded like a literal angel. any time she was in a recordin' session, i'd try and clean nearby, cos lemme tell ya- she's gotta be the best out there. her voice had me floored every time. never got old. and she could be a wide variety of characters, too! it was really awesome t' see.

and shawn was th' BEST toymaker. i know about the whole "crooked smile" debaucle but honestly? thought that gave 'em more charm. made it so you could tell which ones would last ya for forever versus which ones couldn't. and just,, the craftsmanship behind it all? was awesome. sure, injury here and there, but each one was made skillfully. i loved watchin' shawn do her thing, they were really good at what he did, y'know? gah.

i really wish i had asked norman about how projectors worked. i would've gotten t' listen to it gush 'bout somethin' it loved, and it would've been smilin' the whole time, AND it wouldn't be mad at me? all around win situation! it was really cool. i can't even properly put anythin' into words it was so cool. the best projectionist in the world ever! n' was just a good guy. awhagwhgr

and henry's awesome, too! the way he could jus' whip up a drawing that quickly, and precisely? you could tell he knew what he was doin'. even the stuff he threw away was awesome. any drawings norman didn't steal, i definetly stared at for a while. he was good at advice, too. all-around a swell guy. he probably didn't have a single malicious bone in his body, in all honesty. couldn't insult his friends if he tried. really sweet guy. makes norman happy, and norman makes him happy right back. sweet, aint it?

jack was one of the best lyricists ever, i think. they could just... immediately get the vibes for a song, n' put it into words. it was really cool! again, what is it with people throwin' stuff away that was still REALLY good? all the lyrics they wrote had some swing to 'em, and just matched the feel of the song perfectly. good tempo, good use of phonetics, etc. just awesome. tried not t' disturb jack while they worked, though, so i mostly admired from afar.

prayin' tumblr doesn't eat this one. if it does, got it saved in m' notes, cos norman said to do that. its really smart :]

#batdr da #batdr irl #batim da #batim irl #batdr kin #batim kin #wally franks irl #《remember that time?》

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slothpoth · 9 months

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Trigun Social Media Au: Usernames Pt2

And we’re back, same things as last time but this time with the gunho guns + knives

(Also lmk if I did anything weird with the Livio/Razlo hcs, if so I’ll delete this post and redo it better/with better ideas :3)

Elendira ➬ studdedchanel

Okok listen to me I think elendira would totally have an aesthetics account

Like Yknow those twt accs that are just incredibly aesthetically pleasing with nice photos and layouts and just so nice? Yeah

Except she’s not a WEIRDO LIKE SO MANY ARE

Her pintrest and twt are linked and she vlogs her life on YouTube

Everyone wants to be her her aesthetic consistency is a-1

Livio/Razlo ➫ Livin.Violo

Now if I said it was LivinViolo at first but after he found wolfwood again through social media he put the dot in so they match wwyd?

Livio’s content is a mix of inspirational content gym content and then him getting into arguments online via game lobby/chat

I think Razlo would post the gym content showing off reps and the like, like almost short mostly silent gym blogs

One thing for sure is that they both use that darkened filter that makes everything look so much more dramatic for gym videos and then the gaming ones are edited like 2016 gaming montages

Midvalley ➬ MValleyJazz

This is his business account actually he plays at weddings and bar mitzvahs and funerals

He posts mostly on Instagram and his tiktok is very much an afterthought, like he’s following one person

He posts covers for popular songs on the sax, for example Yaosobi’s IDOL on the sax

I’m just sayin he makes bank

Zazie ➫ wcrmmxster

Ysee the o is a c because the c looks like a curled up worm

This is the most on the nose one because I wanted it to have a more edgy vibe like someone’s user being skullgrave or something

……maybe a tiktok cosplayer I haven’t decided yet

Legato ➬ puppetgore

Oh look another edgy mf god forbid we open some fuckin CURTAINS

Anyways this is for his non business accounts, he has alts to give people he sees everyday outside of the internet

I think he’d be one of those borderline obnoxious commentators who stream fps games in their free time and are unsurprisingly mid at them

Talkin shit and bottom fragging you get it

Knives ➫ Million.O.Knives

Who’s surprised. Not me.

I think he’s a gameplay streamer who had a vtuber for a while and hen someone pissed him off so bad he had to turn it off so the audience could fully understand his anger

“I’m shit?? IM SHIT??? YOURE LITERALLY— hold the fuck on….” *click off vtuber* *change screen* *click on camera* *he is literally 4 inches from the camera* “WE ALL WATCHED YOU FUMBLE A CLUTCH WHEN THE ENEMY WAS OFF FUCKING LINE I DONT WANNA HEAR IT. I NEED GOD TO SEND THE FLOOD.”

After that he goes back to the vtuber but if someone donos 100 he’ll turn on facecame for the rest of stream what a fuckin scammer wish I could do that

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janokenmun · 1 year

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yknow what im gonna talk about my autism now. i have thoughts in my brain and i wish to post them (also disclaimer: i'm not 100% sure i have autism? i've always explained it as being on the border of autistic and neurotypical and i'm not fully sure which side i fall on)

im very low needs id say! i can largely function on my own, mostly it's a bit hard to take shower (hair being wet = mild bad sensory) but that's something i feel i can work on and actively get better at

the highest-needs part for me is like. if doing things for someone else, i need things explained in a Very Specific way! it has to be a completely unambiguous instruction list; i've compared it to like, instructions a robot could use. if there's anything ambiguous, i have to ask about it, and if i can't ask about it, i just end up shutting down. (this also applies to doing basically anything for the first time if it's important!)

like for example, helping clean stuff up! valid instruction sets:

"take all of these items in this specific location, and move them to this other location."

"i'll sort the items into piles. anything in pile A, put on the bookshelf. anything in pile B, put in the pantry. anything in pile C, put in your room or the basement (your choice; there's no consequences for your choices here, it doesn't matter). anything in pile D, put in the trash." (this arrangement works very well for me!!!)

"anything in this area with property A, put in location A. anything with property B, put in location B. anything with property C, put in location C." (a bit harder, there'll be a lot of questions of things on the boundary or things with multiple relevant properties)

but if it's something like, i don't know where they want it, i will ask A Lot of questions, like one per item! and this can often get annoying to people which sucks since if i can't ask, i just shut down!

beyond that, it's mostly stuff like needing jokes to be clarified a lot, since often i'll read something as way harsher than it's intended. some people i know are really cool and will include things like "(this is a joke)" on most or all of the jokes they make! i like those people. it's hard for me to be friends with someone if i don't feel comfortable approaching them to ask for clarification on the tone of a message, but i can be acquaintances with them without too much difficulty.

then there's some relatively minor things, like i mishear things a lot and will ask "what'd you say?" a Lot! and i'll also tune out by accident while reading or thinking about something and then i'll come back to reality like "wait whatd you say i was thinking about british telephone boxes". also some images and sounds are bad sensory to me, it's not a huge deal since if it's an image i can just Look Away like switching to another chat, if it's on discord or similar i'll have to either be tabbed out or on another chat 99% of the time, or do a big screen-clearing message of purely newlines. (my gf is trying very hard to spoiler-tag things she thinks might be bad sensory! is very good.)

that's basically all of my needs relating to other people, the rest of my autism (as far as i know) essentially boils down to little challenges i can overcome on my own or little personality quirks (disclaimer: idk how many of these are autism-related, if any!). like how i will get obsessed with something and talk about it frequently for WEEKS (right now it's rats and toki pona)! or looking at a message, reading it, and then taking 7 years to reply since it was too much mental effort to reply just then and then i tab out and forget and the next time that person messages i'm like "oh yeah you said something!!". or listening to the same song for hours straight! or stuff like eating the exact same thing for lunch, every day, for years, with few exceptions (it's a ham and cheese sandwich with exactly 4 slices of ham)! or looking at a box and thinking. wow. this is an amazing piece of engineering. and inspecting every detail of the box

also uh i use a lot of words since i like being precise. which, i Imagine is Somewhat Evident in this post! (also i have no idea how i should do tags so i have been very conservative with them on this post)

#autism

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pinkseas · 1 year

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[parasocial bestie] I LISTENED TO YHE SONG AND SAW THOSE LYRICS AND I JUST. UE. UEUUEUEUEUUEHRGDHHHHHHH UEHHHHH a place,, whwere ppl treated u like a person,.. ur always a person 2 me,... crying shitting on hte floor

anyways thingkin abt the brainrot thing again (its ok to publish ye) im not the type to have Too many ppl involved but like. if thers gonn be another person id have nahida paying a quick visit. maybe. mayhaps on the times lumine, after xiao wakes up and telling her she shouldnt stay with him all the time and to focus on her quest, prolly goes to sumeru and nahida had the interest to take a looksee at the neighbour liyue. lumine brings her to the inn where he recovers. hes a lil down, a lil tired, still on the weeks he could barely stand properly. physiotherapy Sucks. living Sucks. nahida wud be there for advice, for reminiscing- for books (lumine had brought back books before, borrowed from house of daena, theres a hella lot of scenes i had merely on lumine wasting time before and after xiao woke) for dreams and everything.

gosh its the way i can tell u every lil scene i had of pre and post-awakening. tho idk if u like paimon cus im also super attached to her and said screw her in-game hyv staff projection dialogs JDJAJFHHSHF anyway!! nahida. like Man nahida xiao dynamic can be so personal, not as personal as zhongli but she has perspectives of how it is to simply be open and accept things and how it feels to be restrained from what you truly want to do with ur own hands. about curiosity, about learning, about being young methinks.

xiao takes a while to adapt to it all when the incident reverts his mindset to being Useless Worthless Lamenting, but to have all of these ppl who isnt just there to make him feel better, but also to themselves, is an unknown comfort he needed yknow i justfkkehrjshhfjrjshshhdhd my words are G O N E

XIAO AND NAHIDAAAAAAAAAAAA explodes and dies. the advice the reminiscing the Books........ they could have such simple little conversations that even for a short time bring his mind away from the exhaustive pain that is Everything Else.... curiosity and learning and be young GODDDDDDDDDD im so. thinks about very few people Being There but people who know xiao, whether just barely or through zhongli speaking of him or through lumine speaking of him, wishing him well sending regards and how does that make any sense? that those who know so little about him would care that he gets better? why would any of them take the time to say anything at all? and zhongli and lumi and nahida and paimon all doing just. countless big things, sure, but also little gestures, things to make him more comfortable or help him heal or take his mind off things. undeniable acts of love and care at all times.

paimon is !!! complicated. i LOVE her in theory but i hate her ingame. one of the first genshin fics i Ever read and still one of my favorites to this day characterized her EXTREMELY well imo and because of it i do admittedly have an attachment to her and everything she could've been, i love love love the way they wrote her and lumine like its so fucking important to me nadsfnmdsfamnfndsg. "screw her in-game hyv staff projection dialogs" LITERALLY SO REAL she deserves better. tbh.

#parasocial bestie tag

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deep-hearts-core · 2 years

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2011 - semifinal 2

originally posted 6/14/20

Bosnia & Herzegovina LOVE IN REWIND SPARKS SO MUCH JOY YALL. I don't know how they do it, the song is just... it's sentimental and it's happy, and you can really feel it, but it's also easy to enjoy just for fun! I think the staging is part of that as well. Listen I don't know why this song is so beloved but it is... probably my favorite Bosnian entry. Austria Technically, this song is pretty perfect. Good staging? In my Eurovision 2011? It's more likely than you think. Nadine's got a hell of a voice too, this performance was really good and I think it really elevated the song which in and of itself isn't really for me.

Netherlands Did something, like, happen in the jury rehearsals, or does the band have a bad reputation, or what, because bar that I really don't understand how this performed so poorly. It's not an incredibly amazing song but functionally it's really similar to the Danish entry that same year, like, how did one get fifth and the other one near last in the semi? I feel like I may have heard this song somewhere before getting into ESC because whenever I listen I always get this weird nostalgia for being, like, eleven years old. Belgium I feel the need to clarify here that I do a cappella at college. I think it's a really cool thing. I have zero hate for it. HOWEVER it really does not fit at Eurovision. Yknow how I'm always complaining about the stages looking empty? This song feels empty in that same way. It's a half-decent song and I think 1. a different arrangement or 2. a version with actual instruments could have worked pretty good but as is it's just not great. Also half these singers have no stage presence.

Slovakia This is solid early-teens pop right here. I so so enjoy this chorus. Vocals are really not great though so that's probably why they didn't end up qualifying. Ukraine The staging here was so fucking good! Really did the most for this song. Anna Odobescu WISHES. The sand art... revolutionary. While the song has a good melody line, the rest of it I passively dislike, and I don't like Mika's voice. Moldova This is a jammin' song with a healthy side of Moldovan weirdness. There are bits of it that I'm maybe not so much a fan of (like the motorcycle girl, for example), but honestly those things really do add to the song so... it's for the best ig.

Sweden Alright I know we all hate Eric Saade but Popular goes the fuck off. Like as a song it's just... idk I really like the intro and the bridge bit. It's kind of cringe now, especially with that styling, but for the most part I think it aged okay? And the dance routine was fun although I do wonder what was the deal actually with the glass breaking stuff, like was it actually glass or just something that looked like it yknow? Cyprus This is nice enough at the beginning but once the random girl starts singing it all goes downhill. Not sure what's supposed to be happening with the staging but I'm not a fan either, and the vocals are poor. Bulgaria Mmm, the Swedish broadcast (which I'm watching for these semis) kept glitching during this and did weird things to the rhythm... anyway. Na Inat is a really good song but I feel like a lot more could have been done with the staging - like there's that one clip of the second chorus that everyone always uses in videos but beyond that Poli really is just standing there. Also something weird happened musically between the bridge and the last chorus but I can't figure out what. Macedonia Strong beginning but it all goes downhill after that. Song is messy, I really dislike the singer's voice, and the staging is funky. Israel All due respect to Ms Dana International but there is very little I like about this performance. Her voice just doesn't sound good here like it did on Diva and the staging... just, like, nothing really happens? The chorus is ok I guess and the prechorus is also alright but just. There is simply nothing happening.

Slovenia I don't feel the same love for this one that the rest of the fandom does, sadly. Maja is a good vocalist but I'm not overfond of her voice and there were parts of the staging that weren't super cohesive. The pink background was kinda ugly and also I did not like that dress. Romania I super unironically love this, actually? Like yes it's cheesy but for some reason it always makes me smile, like I just enjoy bopping around to this at whatever time of night I'm subjecting myself to Eurovision (lol). Estonia This is actually a really good song in studio but it just fell apart in live. Like, the outfits aren't nice to look at, and the live vocals were. Sooooo bad. The dance routine itself was actually kind of good but combined with the really awful live vocals from the backup singers and the outfits (and the bad 2011 stage) just means that Rockefeller Street's performance as a whole is solidly middle of the road for me.

Belarus Ignoring the lyrics this song kinda goes off? Good vocals... the song isn't fantastic but I enjoy it nonetheless and the performance had a lot of energy (in a good way). And it certainly is memorable, because of the lyrics. I find blatant patriotism generally to be kind of off the mark in Eurovision but here it's combined with a good song so it's alright. Latvia This song is often remembered for the "luscious thighs" line, which... fair. And it's a solid, memorable chorus even without that. But I genuinely forgot about the rap section in this song? It isn't bad, like it's firmly in the middle of Watch My Dance on the bad end and One More Day on the good. Mostly this stage performance was kinda underwhelming. They really are just standing there bouncing around and it doesn't work for this song on this stage.

Denmark This is another fan favorite that I dislike. It's... it's okay at best, like I said it's very on par with the Dutch entry. I don't like the singer's voice and the song is like... it's okay. The staging is weird especially at the bridge and last chorus where the lead singer just runs to the island and back and it takes him the entire latter third of the song. Ireland I think I went into this expecting to like it, which is never what you're supposed to do with Jedward's entries. If you expect or remember liking it, you're going to be disappointed. They're best when taken by surprise. The song is fun but I can't decide if Jedward's stage energy is a good or a bad thing... it sure is a lot. My personal qualifiers Romania Bosnia & Herzegovina Austria Sweden Slovakia Moldova Bulgaria Ukraine Belarus Estonia Miscellaneous thoughts This popped into my head while watching the Irish postcard but like... it fascinates me how much ESC has embraced Irish Gaelic? Like the postcard for this year used it, there have been some instances where points presenters greet in Gaelic, Ireland sends entries in Irish to JESC... hopefully that is reflective of a larger linguistic revitalization, I really wonder. The classical music breakdance thing was actually incredibly boring...

#esc reviews

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toothy-writes · 2 years

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Something Original

CW for dissociation??? abstract references to assault.

Enjoy my by-monthly check in with myself, my first OG writing I'll post here. I only glanced over it briefly as a proofread.

Real people write in the first person. Stanzas of lust and ‘My darling I’m writing from waist deep in quicksand of self-aggrandizing and declarations of I love you more than I love myself’ Real people tear their own paper-mache masks off and stand in times square screaming something about authenticity and the reality of us and we and sex for some reason? Who’s more unreliable than your own narrator shoved under a recalled kaleidoscope? Hell if I know and I’m the narrator. Maybe real is the third person writings of yourself, of others. Following a step behind like some kind of self obsessed shadow with a personality disorder diagnosed by an online quiz over a coke and rum.

We spend our entire lives chasing the faded ink spots of our own made up rorschach tests, tests we finger painted amongst ourselves when we were real. Chasing authenticity but only when a camera is burning in our pockets, but of course; who can blame us for only existing in witness of others? That’s what the universe made us for.

Made us too. To witness, to act, and to stare in dumbstruck awe, I guess. There’s too many of us for us all to be doing something.

Because who are we without falling up the stairs and pressing each other against elevator walls? If a tree falls.

Back to real people, because who’s more tangible than a stranger you’ll never see again? Maybe if I was crazy enough I’d say strangers are just ghosts, passing by a thin veil of reality that makes them just tangible enough for it to make sense. Maybe it’s so I can control my own story, a narcissist with a perpetual soundtrack of a sad clown falling down the stairs to his grave. Or something. //god. Unreliable narrator?//

There’s no saving you now, once you refuse to capitalise his name, you walk in circles while tracing your own boot prints and God- are those Dr Martens? Yeah whatever. That’s the fact of life, talking in a third person’s third person, somewhere infinity exists. Probably, because research isn’t his strong suit. He loves people, though he gags to admit it //unless it’s those people.// Right, he lays in his coffin of sunflowers and hisses at the sun, skin hurts but it hurts so good; and that’s what matters. The hurt, the heat, the hindsight of oh no //oh, yeah// Yeah. About them, about him? Well, a separate him from what we’re thinking. //I think we’ve killed each other for this exact reason// Right. Probably. Because you love yourself, and I have the forethought to earn that karma. Yknow. Prayer and kind deeds. Like mom taught us. Me. //You?// You. //bullshit, what god does this?// Whatever God does you. innuendo aside we’re listening to a broken record, it’s scratched and cracked and keeps skipping but somehow a new song plays every so often //I love this one.// I hate it, //so we’re in agreement?// I don’t- We don’t know. Maybe it’s the fact that he wishes he was strong enough to die, or something like that. //well we never did have enough pills// same schtick. Learn a new person, slip to their skin then cut yourself out like some fucked up C-section.

Touch didn’t always hurt, writing didn’t always start with a four-way argument. Things weren’t always hard. Language came easy, hugs were nice. well they’re kind of nice now. Touch wasn’t always digging fingernails and dragging glances. We- I didn’t always put a word to it. So I put a feeling to it. Maybe it’s this house, visiting home. home? Bull. yeah. Probably. I spent my childhood mapping the woods so I could escape the people. The people, maybe that’s why I’m so stuck on writing anything. I know they’re still out there, I know they’ve done it again. I know they share my blood. Maybe I write because speaking locks in the reality of it all. Right now it’s in my head, floating in the abstract and not quite existing. Whatever, as long as the void calls back in my own voice I’ll be ok.

#toothywrites #original content #writing #writers on tumblr #writing about myself to myself split three ways bc who am I again?#writerscommunity #what tags do I use?#It is 1 AM i am so sad

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someundefinedaesthetic · 5 years

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#time to stop being mcfucking idiotic #decided to start posting bullshit about ***** on this account bc i feel like all of my followers on my main hate me talking about a boy #anyway tell me how he has me literally hanging on to every word he says #i should not be this invested!!!!!!!! not healthy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i do this every time dont i #like i seriously get too attached and serious and weird about it #and either i do nothing about it and scare them away or i overcompensate and pretend like i dont care as much as i do and they think idc #and i think he thinks im just trying to be friends with him because i have no other friends #which may be true #but i also genuinely love hanging out with him and talking to him and just being a part of his life #and its gotten to this point where ive borderline put him on a pedestal (while still recognizing he makes mistakes)#but like..............................................hm.........................not good!!!!!#and i dont want to go back to just not talking to him until right before we make plans #but i know hes busy trying to apply for his amazing internship that i so wish i could be with him for #and busy doing RA stuff and busy with homework and classes and having friends #and that im literally just a hermit who goes to school work and my house with way too much free time #but anyway i cant help but think about him listening to those cheesy elton john love songs or daydreaming and just wondering what hes up to #and i dont know how to take a step back from being obsessive about it #also ive garnered a pretty robust reputation as a man-hating pussy-loving lesbian #which yknow. valid #but its totally stopping me from just outright flirting with him & is probs stopping him from taking me dropping hints as like. hints #if he even likes girls lmao jury is still out on that one #but anyway i just miss him a lot hes just such a joy to be around and sit quietly with or do stupid mundane things or joke around and ugh #anyway

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to00ch · 4 years

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Could you do headcannons for Malleus, Sebek, Azul, Rook, and Floyd x female Mc who’s soft spoken and people have a hard time hearing her? How do you think they would feel? Thanks in advance!

Hey, I hope you’d enjoy this hehe; I also read your a/n and made sure to include it in too!

Tags: soft spoken F!MC, fluff

Characters: Malleus Draconia, Sebek Zigvolt, Azul Ashengrotto, Rook Hunt & Floyd Leech

Malleus Draconia

He’d feel bad for mc but he empathises with her; he himself is often disregarded too sometimes

With mc being soft spoken, he enjoys listening to her more often

Especially when he takes his nightly strolls, he loves bringing mc along, to cheer her up; but most of the time he does it cause he wants to

Whenever she starts speaking when they walk together, he’d silence everything else and just listen to mc intently, it wasn’t obvious though

“Malleus, why do you even bother spending time with me? Isn’t it tiring trying to hear what I’m trying to say,” mc spoke softly

Malleus just turned to her and smiled, stopping his tracks and just gave her a pat on the head

Your soft spoken self is what made me like you

That was his honest answer but he couldn’t say it out loud

“Some things are worth spending time with,” he said and continued walking slowly. “Come now, I’ll walk you back to the dorm, it’s getting late,”

Sebek Zigvolt

This boy has a slight trouble with mc’s soft spokenness

He’s always about confidence and speaking your mind; if you want to say it, say it loud and clearly

But somehow he learnt that mc is just how she is, and he just well, came to accept it

Is very defensive over mc if someone says they can’t hear her

“Think its about time you clear your ears a bit eh? It’s not that difficult to not be rude and listen to what someone has to say,” he’d say to those people

Mc would tell him that that’s a bit harsh and its okay, she’s used to it

“Well, you shouldn’t be used to it. I mean not everyone can speak loudly, and those who don’t actually speak more meaningful things than those who do sometimes,”

He’d blush a bit and mc would look at him with a soft smile and thank him for understanding and validating herself.

And he was glad that he did what he had to do, cause he really loved seeing mc smile, he won’t admit it outright though

Azul Ashengrotto

Gets irritated when some people kept on bothering mc regarding her soft tone of voice

Honestly he’d sometimes threaten to take their hearing (its just a threat, of course)

Sometimes mc loses her self-esteem and tells him how she wishes she’d have a decent voice like he does

And Azul would scold her a little; and tell her that its okay to be soft spoken

Maybe Azul’s a bit biased but, he genuinely feels that everyone’s voice is special in its own way

Whenever there are no customers in the lounge, he’d invite mc to sing with him on stage

Floyd and Jade would accompany them with their little jazz band

He loves listening to her sing, and if the song has those lines where its just meant to be spoken, its definitely his favourite

Azul would always have those moments where he’d smile whenever mc would sing for him. His heart felt warm, he loves every moment you both spend with each other, he was lowkey glad mc is oblivious how different he can be towards her.

Rook Hunt

He just can’t comprehend how people can’t hear the beauty mc held within her soft voice

“Mademoiselle, do disregard every one else’s opinion, I, Rook Hunt, find that you have a very breathtaking voice,”

Mc was always so fond of Rook, she was comfortable with him, and he’d always make her feel good about herself, she really was thankful for that

When mc spoke, Rook always had his hand under his chin, and occasionally he’d sigh and mc would ask if there was something wrong

“Non, chère mademoiselle, it’s just that I can’t help but to think how beautiful you are, that’s all.” he’d smile and ask mc to go ahead with what she wanted to say

Mc would have her cheeks dusted with red a bit and have giggle it off; she’d tell him if he were to continue praising her like that, she’d die out of embarrassment

If mc forced herself to speak loudly and strain her voice, he’d immediately sit her down after that and make her tea in the Pomefiore lounge

Cares for her deeply, and he’d ask her what her preference on tea is

Floyd Leech

Initially he’d tease mc on how soft spoken she is, it makes him want to bother her more than he did already

“Koebi-chan~ if you’re not gonna speak up I might just assume you want to be squeezed yknow~”

Mc was scared of him at first, but gradually felt that he was actually pretty harmless, atleast, to her

Floyd gets super pissed when other people tease her for her soft spoken self, he’d just go to them and scare em away

Mc would say that he teases her for it too, so what’s the difference

“Difference is that you’re my koebi-chan, which means I’m the only one allowed to do so,” he’d laugh his usual laid back laugh and twirl mc around and lifted her off the ground effortlessly

Whenever he’s practicing basketball with his club mates, mc would always come over to support him, and even if she knows he can’t really hear her, she’d always try her best to shout out his name

And he’d just swiftly shoot the balls in, its her voice that’s giving him support anyway.

Post-club activities, he’d tell mc that she was the reason why he won, and he requested her to come watch him every time, regardless whether she had the time or not; he’s so attached to her, very much likely needs her to be there with him all the time

#twisted wonderland #twst headcanons #azul ashengrotto #sebek zigvolt #rook hunt #floyd leech #malleus draconia #floyd x mc #malleus x mc #rook x mc #azul x mc #sebek x mc #twst imagines #twst x mc #twst x reader #pomefiore #diasomnia #octavinelle

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phoneybeatlemania-bit-the-dust · 3 years

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I’d disagree with the anon that Paul was “incapable” of love, but I do agree he was very distanced, and pretty cruel (to women) when he was younger. (It was unfortunate they bought into the love at first sight myth, but he was also a charmer, and dropped affection and got colder after fucking them.)

But I just can’t see romantic interest on Paul’s end. I’m sure he loved John, but a lot of the “sexual/Romantic evidence” really can just be as construed as platonic love. I feel there may be some confirmation bias looking for “clues”. (Not an attack on anyone, but some of the analysises seem to try too hard, really).

He does make references, with the whole “calling him babe during concerts”, and “in bed” but that could just mean he’s not uncomfortable with coming off “gay”. He has a quote about it somewhere I think. He’s supportive of the community at any rate.

This is kind of my own bias, but at times I think he…plays it up a little during the present day? Again, I’m positive he did love John a lot, but with how he is, a charmer, good at manipulating his image, he knows there is a benefit to building up the “magical” Lennon McCartney dynamic. John’s dead, and the old conflicts have faded, so he has no reason not to. I don’t think he’s anti-social, or a psycho or anything, but he certainly does put a lot of thought into his image, especially now, with how he wants to leave his legacy.

I’m less knowledgeable about John, and the speculation about his mental illnesses, but on his end, I can certainly see it. Maybe he’s just blind, but the looks are very much…yeah. He does seem to rely Paul a lot, and hold him in very high regard (REGARDLESS of what those old male biographers might make of him). You just know he was suffering over Paul, poor bastard.

Not sure if anything happened. I think Paul knew though, and either ignored it, or was kind, knowing John wouldn’t act on it. OR he didn’t notice! With the whole “we shared beds A LOT. you would think he’d make a pass at me, darling~”

I guess that’s how I see it. I don’t really have strong feelings on the nature of their relationship, or want them to be “confirmed”, so I try to be as objective as possible! Not a shipper, but not a male biographer. In fact, I was very put off learning the ship was a thing at first! With every fan base “having to” ship the main male leads, that’s what I thought this was. But after three years, reading actual books, primary stuff, I’ve began to change my mind on its legitimacy, and this was my conclusion. But new information can always change!

(Sorry for the long long analysis, god! I just took my adderall and I should go eat! Feel free to block me for spam/harassment.)

Yeah, this is basically my big mclennon dilemma: did Paul love John?

Of course he loved him, but I mean did he harbour any homosexual feelings towards John - and I just go back and fourth on that a lot.

In my last response to an anon I wasn’t necessarily trying to argue that Paul was romantically/sexually attached to John, because all in all, I don’t believe he did - but it probably came off that way because I didn’t particularly like the way the anon had phrased some stuff (like calling him “a master manipulator” and “incapable of love”) and so I just sort of wanted to show that the relationship was more nuanced then just “john was simping for paul”. My overall point with that response was more so that whilst I think Paul struggles in showing real affection and emotions, I don’t think he was incapable of love prior to Linda. I think he did really love John (in whichever form of love you want to take it: romantically, platonically etc.)

And so my point I guess wasnt so much that Paul was always capable of love (because I think he did at least love his family, his close-friends, probably Jane etc.), but maybe more so that he was always capable of intimacy with another person, though he struggled with it.

But yeah, he was quite cruel to a lot of the girls he slept with in the 60s, but I wouldn’t say that suggests he was incapable of love (i know thats not what you’re saying but other people might interpret it through that lens) I would just say he was young, dumb, ridiculously rich and famous and not emotionally mature enough yet to really empathise with most of those girls. Not trying to completely excuse him, but like, i dunno, i always just try to view people from the most human perspective. Everyones an twat sometimes yknow

I also really struggle to see romance on Pauls behalf towards John - the only times I think “wait but maybe he did fancy john back” is when I read some of his lyrics (like in ‘Coming Up’, ‘Yvonne’s The One’, and to some extent ‘Here Today’ - though I think interpreting Here Today as strictly platonic love is still a valid interpretation). I mentioned this in a different post though, that analysing his lyrics just isnt particularly convincing for me, because it feels more like speculation - and also as someone who does write songs, I know that a lot of lyrics just arent as deep as we wish they were. It is really difficult to be truly introspective and honest in a song, without exaggerating or hyperbolising or fictionalising any autobiographical aspects.

I do see your point with Paul possibly playing up the “Lennon/McCartney m a g i c” - im not entirely sure how much I agree, but I do agree to some extent. I think he’s always been very image conscious, and being in what is probably the all-time most famous pop band definitely wouldve heightened that. Even as a teenager I think he’s always just had this natural charm about him, and that tends to stem I guess from a need to be liked; I think you can see it in every interview he’s ever done to be honest. Its not necessarily a bad thing, (because id take a charmer over a rude knobhead any day) but I guess it sort of just shows that Paul is flawed like everybody else. Also, just read @mothernatures-sons tags and I agree with her - Paul just knows when to be a nice person! Nothing wrong with that! It isnt manipulative like the last anon suggested, its just how most people are: polite :) Ive heard a lot of anecdotes from people who have worked with or met Paul and the majority of them say he was a just a nice guy. Not saying he was never an arsehole (cause yeah he was pretty cruel to those girls in the 60s) but I think overall, hes a pretty good guy 👍

On the other hand though, you could also say that superficial journalists are looking for superficial answers - and Paul knows what the people want to hear. But occasionally ill hear an interview that does seem more intimate then most - I havent listened to it in awhile, but the interview he did with Sean I remember felt more honest to me then most. And when he said he’d like to spend the day “in bed” with John, to me that felt like a genuine and fitting response. Because, whilst it has sexual connotations, it also just feels like he’s saying he’d just like to sit around, chat, dont chat, just whatever with John for a day. Like he would just like another moment of intimacy with him.

I think we are pretty much in agreement on most of this though! At first I was also like “nah, mclennon isnt real, teenage girls just love shipping guys!” (I am a teenaged girl and I can confirm this lol) but then it just sort of became apparent to me through reading more and more about their relationship that there probably was something more on Johns behalf. If John wasnt in love with Paul, then it feels as though a lot of things he said and did just dont add up (the big one for me is him marrying Yoko so soon after Paul married Linda - like I really cannot come up with a heterosexual explanation for that!)

But when it comes to Paul, though ill have moments of doubt, I dont think he was in love with John (homosexually) and I do think a lot of the evidence on Pauls behalf seems like a stretch (but like you, im not having a go at anyone, because I understand that it is easy to carried away, plus its fun - but realistically, most of Pauls evidence just is not convincing to me). He’s comfortable with his sexuality, and I really do try to respect that and not force a gay interpretation of quotes or songs from him, unless it is genuinely making me question his sexuality and mclennon.

PS dont worry, I didn’t take this is spam at all!! And also, I would never block someone just for disagreeing with me! I enjoy discussion and I think its good to engage with people who disagree with you! To be honest, id only block someone if they were purposely being a real arsehole <3

#mclennon #discussion

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nessschurch · 2 years

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Booth & bones

lmao that the two replies that i have thus far are both B&B lmao.. I guess i have a brand.

good for me and everyone i guess that i have such a long "bones feels" playlist (also i loves the angsty era up until like season 6?)

anywayssss im gonna make them all diff but yeah here goes! heres part two if anyone cares lmao

1. The Reach by Miranda Lee Richards is always gonna be my number one i think just bc i cried the first time i heard it bc i related it to them so much

"No, I could not forgive myself thinkin' I held you back. Go ramblin' like a freight train and get yourself on track. In being who you are there is no shame, And through the eyes of compromise it never looks the same."

like this song just works so well for them from both perspectives and ill never get enough of it.

2. Water by Pentatonix - it just works so well for them... like esp like from booth perspective like during the 100th??? Then also after they get back from their 7 months apart from Brens perspective??? i just love it a lot lmao

"My voice cracks, I wait for it to pass Heart beats fast for words I can't take back And so I pray I don't drive you away 'Cause I'm scared of what I have to tell you

Timid heart, hide my scars Make me stronger

I can't take this any longer I need, I need you like water It's on the tip of my tongue I'm not asking for much"

3. Get Sick Soon by Hello Saferide - This is a bit of a funny/sweet one thats just very cute about taking care of your otherwise tough s/o when theyre sick, and i love the repeated lyric at the end of "just lay your weight on me and ill be your backbone" and i actually really wanna make an edit with this as like the theme.

"I'll fluff your pillows, I'll buy you a Spiderman comic and read you 'til you fall asleep Sleep on my shoulder! I won't wake you even if My back turns crooked and I have to walk with a limp for a week I'll make you soup and none of that kind that you get in a jar cause I Know you don't like those"

just utter cuteness and tbh both of them vibe with both the ppl in this song lmao

4. There is a Light that Never Goes Out by Sara Lov - This song is like super depresso but sometimes thats just a vibe you crave yknow??? Also yeah i know this was originally The Smiths but this version is the one i always listen too lmao. I just wanna quote this whole song omg. Its v hard hitting though so be warned.

"Take me out tonight Where there's music and there's people And they're young and alive Driving in your car I never, never want to go home Because I haven't got one Anymore

Take me out tonight Because I want to see people And I want to see life Driving in your car Oh, please don't drop me home Because it's not my home, it's their home And I'm welcome no more

To die by your side Is such a heavenly way to die

To die by your side Well, the pleasure, the privilege is mine

And in the darkened underpass I thought, "Oh God, my chance has come at last" But then a strange fear gripped me And I just couldn't ask"

ok i think i did the best i could with this one but yeah i mainly relate it around the doctor in the photo and yeah it just makes me emo

5. You & Me (Acoustic) by James TW - I figured we'd end w a cute happy one bc the last one was heavy hitting. This is such a cute sweet song that fits them super well and i like to think of it as post 100th song but also it works really well post fight in 08x15???? Again this is another song i just wanna quote all the lyrics from lmao.

"I didn't mean to hurt you So why'd I let you walk out the door? You say that you don't know me You don't know who I am anymore But if you knew the truth, then Then you wouldn't feel insecure 'Cause if I didn't have you I wouldn't have nothing at all

I wish you could see yourself through my eyes I always forget that you can't read my mind

As long as I got you and me Moving through this world as a two-man team I'll always have everything I need You don't even realise what you mean No one could fall for you quite like me No one could get me so perfectly You don't even realise, You're all that I need 'Cause I want you and me, you and me"

i think the verse after this will fit them better towards the end of the series but i still have that to look forward to i guess? i think imma leave it with these 5 for now ahhh feel free to let me know what ya think if ya want?

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tylerwritez · 3 years

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I was gonna post this to my main but decided against it

Disclaimer b4 I type out this post because I know yall are gonna freak out: I am NOT going to shoot up my school. I would never do that. I like my highschool. I have friends, I have a good life, I'm not getting bullied, and I dont even have a gun in the first place. I AM NEVER GOING TO KILL ANYONE!!!! there. Theres your disclaimer, now you can't be pissed off at me.... also tw gun violence tw school shootings, you get the idea. DO NOT KEEP READING IF YOURE GONNA TRY AND THROW ME UNDER THE BUS FOR THIS POST! (tumblr is like a diary to me sometimes)

Okay, now that we've gotten that over with, let's begin. School shootings. I've watched a few PSAs about it (they were both sorta lame and stupid tbh, but I'm not gonna go in depth in those departments), anwyays, I've watched a few school shooting PSAs and I gotta say, the way media frames these attacks is so... I dont know. Maybe I'm looking at it all twisted, but there is a certain fantasy constructed around school shooters that draws in kids who feel theyve been alienated, kids like I used to be in 7th grade. In every PSA, there's always a moment where the shooter reveals himself as your worst fucking nightmare, busts through the doors guns blazing, yelling at everyone "LOOK AT ME!"... there is a power in that moment that I find so captivating. Obviously, I'm not delusional. I'm not a psychopath. I know that in real life, shooting attacks are horrific things. People die. I know this. But oh my god. Those PSAs have really cut me deep, down to some bone whose existence I wish I could ignore. The bone, sawed in half, is crying out to me now. "LOOK AT ME!" it screams. "I AM A PART OF YOU!" and you realize that you have got more in common with that dude on screen than you think. You realize that actually, you and him are kinda the same in this sick twisted way. And in this sick twisted way you wish you woulda done it. You look back to your old junior high and imagine busting through the doors with a gun. You fantasize about the fear in everyones eyes, in their faces, they scream and beg and you finish them off without mercy. The blood, the brains, the horror, and the bodies are there for the taking. You see in your mind such a clear picture.... like in the PSAs. Where instead of the placeholder white teenage boy its YOU, you're the white teenage boy and everyone who ever looked down on you is gonna feel your wrath. It's such a euphoric fantasy. I cant even begin to describe the power!!! In that one moment. The reveal. Everyone is shocked. Everyone is horrified. Everyone runs, afraid of you. Like you become a god, or at least, a predator animal. Then at the end, you save yourself a bullet. Look over the dead bodies,,, your dead bodies,, and then join them. Peaceful exit. Energy spent. Sing a few verses of a song, and then finish the job.

But in the end, that's all it is.

A fantasy. A fantasy from my junior high years that I have trouble releasing. I KNOW that I wouldn't ever do that today. I know that I wouldn't want to do that at my highschool. In the end, I would NEVER do that. But still the dirty thought of it lingers. Every time I see one of these GODDAMN FUCKING PSAs where you have the shooter busting in like that I'm basically triggered into this fantasy. This fantasy I built in secret... this fantasy I must dismantle.

I want to let go of the hate in my heart. Listen, hear me out. I have never in my life had a healthy way of coping with anything. I didn't get help from anyone, so of course I didnt have healthy coping mechanisms, I was a mentally ill child with nobody. It was... not a surprise.

I think that, on a path towards healing, you need to learn to drop your unhealthy coping mechanisms and get healthier ones. You need to drop the god fantasy, you need to drop the self harm, you need to drop the child with healthy parent-child relationship fantasy... you need to drop everything that's downright degenerate about you. For me I think those are the main three. The way they contrast each other is jarring.

Look, I KNOW this sounds borderline psychopathic. But I swear I'm a... okay, maybe not normal... I'm a decent person. I try to be. I try to be kind to everyone yknow? I'm not... I'm not so full of hatred anymore. It's just that sometimes I see somehting like that PSA and the anger resurfaces and I remember and I can feel my past self...

Not even just shooting stuff... that's a relatively minor part of the big picture. In the big picture, it's always things like happy children with their wholesome parents. That takes me back and I can again feel my past self,, even my present self mourns the loss of this. And i am so... angry. Jealous. Sad. And well, I'm at a loss for how I should feel. I always think "why? Why them? Why does that kid get a happy childhood? Why not me? I was the same as that kid is right now. The exact same. And you're giving HIM this experience... this HAPPY, NORMAL, HEALTHY experience... and you give me this clusterfuck of confusion. Okay.

.... who is "you"???? I notice I talk in second person a lot but I don't know who I'm addressing it to.

I used to have a habit of talking to god so maybe it's just that carrying over..

I used to beg god when I was a child. To let me be happy. To let me be normal.

.... I wish things could be different.

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headoverjojo · 3 years

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Hello, can I request a scenario of Diavolo and reader with pen pal AU?? I just think it would be interesting remembering how secretive he is, but I think there’s like a chance that he’d be willing to open up more to a pen pal yknow. Thank you 💕✨

Hello there! Oh god, after so much time... I’m so sorry about it ç.ç But in any case, I sincerely hope you’ll like this little fic!

Pen pal AU: Diavolo and reader

(Under the cut for lenght!)

Diavolo still couldn’t believe it. When Doppio, more than two months before, had suggested him to try to open up a little -he, Diavolo? Open up a little?!-, Diavolo was so near to strangle him. And, well, this would have been terribly inconvenient, as he would have ended up strangling himself. Instead, he closed himself in stubborn silence, ignoring even when Doppio was trying to call him. He was too pissed: he, a man who was so obsessed by privacy, had to open up?! Sometimes he wondered how could Doppio be so silly and, at the same time, be a part of himself.

However, after having pondered about it for a few days, he found himself thinking that maybe, just maybe, Doppio wasn’t so out of his mind. It was true that sometimes he felt… alone, even if he loved dearly his loneliness. When he brought up the topic again, Doppio showed enthusiasm: the Boss was making the right decision! And, knowing his trust issues, he had found the right solution: a pen pal. The Boss could make a bond with them without actually seeing them, and without risking his safety: it was the most convenient deal.

Doppio managed to find a good pen pal for his Boss: their name was Y/N, and they lived in a city far away, so there was no risk to meet them. They too were quite a private person, he found out, and it was their first time as pen pal for them too. It was perfect.

Their first letters were awkward. Diavolo was too used to order around, and he felt weird to use a casual tone. Plus, he still didn’t know if he could trust them: they were a stranger, all in all. He was always scared to unmask himself, that they were just trying to lure him to reveal himself, to show his weakness, and then trying to attack him and bring him down… he was really careful and cautious, when he wrote. He never gave any hint on the place he was, or the weather, or his surroundings… anything that could suggest his position. Not even the most skilled detective would have found his house.

As days and weeks passed, however, he was more and more surprised to see that they never asked him for a more precise description of his place, or why he was using a post office box and not his personal mailbox. It seemed like they… weren’t interested in it. It seemed like they were more interested in his hobbies, what kind of music he liked, which books… their questions always baffled him.

He never thought for real about such frivolous things. He had ambitions, worries and fears, when he was young; then, he had a whole criminal organization to manage. He just… never had the time to stop and enjoy a little such casual hobbies. Killing his opponents wasn’t a respectable hobby, or at least not one he could externalize. He admitted, in his letters, that he didn’t listen to music very often, and that he hadn’t so much to read, and then he asked them for suggestions, curious, all in all, to see what they liked so much to the point to suggest it to someone else.

He listened to the songs they suggested to him, and read some of the books they loved. It was weird… it was like coming to know them deeper, in a more intimate way. He was used to decipher his opponents and, even more important, his allies from small details, in order to find a way to destroy or bend them, but this time… it was different. He wanted to know them not to possess them, but simply because he liked to know them.

Was this… friendship?

He felt a little jolt of excitement every time he saw that there was a letter in the post office box, and he always hurried Doppio to come home as soon as possible. He took control of his body the moment they stepped inside, and immediately opened the letter, reading it almost with greed. It was like a breath of fresh air: for a little while, he could smile and even laugh, reading their news. It was the most awaited moment of the whole week, a few hours when he wasn’t the feared and powerful Boss of Passione, but simply D., as he always signed himself. The man who liked Genesis and Sting and thriller books, who hated cold weather and loud people. Sometimes, he even found himself wishing it was all true, that he could have been just D. forever… but then, something brought him back to reality. A new alliance, someone who was trying to steal from him, a new criminal gang that was trying to compete with them… his world abruptly crashed his wishes, every time. He was who he was, and he couldn’t be no one else, no matter how much, sometimes, he desired it.

After a while, he even shared some really private information about himself: he told her about his Sardinian origins, and that he didn’t know who his father was. He never told it aloud, but… it was heavy, for him, not to know who his father was. He had even questioned his mother, during the time he had kept her imprisoned under the floor, but nothing. She had always murmured that she didn’t know who his father was. She had met him one night, and that was it. Nothing more, nothing less. Doppio never worried about these things, mostly because Diavolo made him not to worry about it; he and Doppio were, all in all, twins in one body, and he cared about his twin, in his ways. It had always been Diavolo’s duty to keep Doppio out of troubles and to elaborate painful and complicated decisions and information; feeling the burden of not knowing who their father was was his duty.

For the first time in his life, he was able to finally let these feelings go: he wrote that he felt like he was missing a part of himself, got lost with his father’s identity, and how, sometimes, this heavied on his heart. He wrote that he missed his homeland, sometimes, even if the memories tied to the island weren’t properly positive; still, it was home. The sea, the hard and direct language, the wind that always blew in the evening, the small and half dry bushes of tenacious mediterranean plants… it was carved in his memory. Yes, his life hadn’t been easy, but there were people, even if he could count them on the fingers of only one hand, that didn’t despise him: one was surely the priest who took care of him. The other two were three other old people: the guardian of the lighthouse, the undertaker, who mostly made sure to water all the flowers in front of the graves, and then an accabadora. Maybe his acquaintances were also one of the reasons he wasn’t so accepted between his town’s people… (A/N: an accabadora was a woman, usually an old woman, who was in charge to bring death to people who were so severely sick that their family required this kind of “service”, to spare their loved one of more pain. Some say that the accabadora didn’t literally bring death, but that was in charge to comfort the person who was dying ‘till their last breath, following ancient rituals)

He was tense the whole time he was waiting for their response. Maybe he had overshared… he was worried they could find out who he was for real -he knew it was a paranoid thought, but he couldn’t help to think about it-, but, at the same time, he was worried that he might have scared them away. He found himself… pained by that thought. They were the only person he had ever considered a real friend, and he just… didn’t want to lose them. He had never felt like that for any other person, excluding Doppio; every Capo, every subordinate, could be replaced in no time. But Y/N… they were unique. They couldn’t be replaced, and losing them… it was unbearable. His heart started to sink when, that Saturday, the day he usually received their response, his post office box was empty. Maybe it was too much for them, and they just decided to stop writing to him…

He couldn’t stop to think about it, especially now that he was back in his homeland. He had to come back in a hurry, in order to stop a group of kids who were so tenaciously trying to find out his identity… and, last but not least, they had his daughter with them. He needed to stop them before it was too late… Doppio, of course, didn’t know about the real reason behind his Boss’ orders; he just knew that he had to take care about a couple of “difficult subordinates”, but, at the right moment, Diavolo would have taken Doppio’s place, doing the dirty work.

Diavolo was dozing off a little, inside Doppio’s mind, when a buzz from his phone startled him. From Doppio’s eyes, he read the message from the post office: there was a letter from him in his box. Diavolo couldn’t help but to feel a sense of relief washing over him: Y/N had answered! So, they were still friends…

That news helped him to approach his job with a new strength. It shouldn’t have taken much time to finish those kids… he was Diavolo, after all, the most stand user of the whole world. Nothing could surpass his King Crimson.

He was sure to be home at most the next day. And then, he could have read their letter and breathed again for a little moment, as it always happened…

He couldn’t wait for it.

#jjba #vento aureo #the court of the crimson king #diavolo #neutral reader #pen pal au #pen pal!diavolo #pen pal!reader #scenario #prompt scenario #sfw #anon ask

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officialleotolstoy · 3 years

Text

Oh Danatole Brainrot We’re Really In It Now, aka Danatole playlist annotations!

I am NOT going apologize for making this. I’m not. But know I am feeling shame.

Nobody - Hozier

“I wouldn’t fall for someone I thought couldn’t misbehave”

This is a bit of a best-case-scenario song, but I really feel like the vibes are encapsulated here. It’s got the energy of “i love you because we sin together and it’s fun” and also “I have a lot of lovers but lowkey.... you’re my fave 😳” which is, as I said, the best I could ever see them getting to.

Bad Decisions - Bastille

“So we’ll make the same mistakes til the morning breaks”

This song is about being idiots together and also knowing it’s not good for you which is the vibe. Also the refusal to have an Actual Relationship in “love me, leave me, rhythm of the evening” pops off. This song GETS that it’s a more casual thing but also weirdly important to them. Oh and “maybe this is where it ends” can be interpreted to be about the elopement plan if you want to stretch it.

Quarter Past Midnight - Bastille

“Good times, bad decisions”

“Let’s go be stupid together in public and also maybe hold hands uwu”

Glory - Bastille

“Passing the drink from hand to hand, we admit we really know nothing at all”

“Let’s go get drunk together in private and also maybe hold hands uwu”

Nocturnal Creatures - Bastille

“We’ve only got ourselves to blame, again and again and again”

The whole deal with this song is like. We’re in love kind of I guess but like only when in certain situations when our guard is down. Does that make sense?? It does in my head. And the idea of it being something stupid that they both keep coming back to despite being aware of it really fits. Disclaimer I’m not trying to suggest these two are Deeply In Love I’m just bad at wording things

Nicotine - Panic! At The Disco

“I taste you on my lips and I can’t get rid of you”

“You’re bad for me but we keep coming back to each other” vibes again. I don’t think Anatole is aware of how bad this actually is, he canonically has no idea he’s being manipulated, but I do think Dolokhov has a much better perspective on it. In my mind, Dolokhov really wishes he did not feel Anything for Anatole but. That is not working out the way he planned it, so a lot of these “why do I keep doing this :/“ songs are more from Dolokhov’s side than Anatole’s.

The Waves - Bastille

“Oh what would your mother say if she could see what we’re doing now?”

Look I added this for the Dolokhov’s mom jokes okay. That was the whole reason. I could very much see Anatole saying this exact thing to him.

Hell and You - Amigo the Devil

“Live with me in this sin forever”

Man the ENERGY of this song. The admittance and focus on them both being terrible people but enjoying being terrible together...yeah that’s them.

4am - Bastille

“You are my familiar”

The idea of just accepting something maybe not so great because it’s familiar which becomes easy which becomes fun...I very much think that’s how their relationship progressed, at least from Dolokhov’s end (You’re probably thinking “wow Wren, this playlist is super skewed toward Dolokhov’s feelings on the matter” and you’re right it’s because I hate Anatole 🥰). It’s definitely too forthcoming about actually enjoying the experience but oh well. Oh, and I stole a line from it for a fic once so it gets a permanent spot.

Bad Romance - Lady Gaga

“You and me could write a bad romance”

It is objectively a bad romance, but the real reason this song is on here is that I always forget it is and it makes me laugh every time

It Will Come Back - Hozier

“Don’t let it in with no intention to keep it”

Man Dolokhov really said ok I will manipulate this kid for a lil bit for money and then seven years later he’s helping him plan some illicit elopement for no personal gain huh. Life is crazy. Basically this song covers the “you were not intending for me to stick around but I’m a fixture of your life now!” thing. I wholeheartedly believe Dolokhov never planned to spend this much time with the Kuragins he just accidentally got attached.

Mamma Mia - ABBA

“You know you won’t be away too long”

It doesnt work super well but it makes me laugh okay!!! The concept of being bad for each other and not really working well but coming back to each other for some reason anyway is there.

No Light, No Light - Florence + The Machine

“No light in your bright blue eyes”

I heard the phrase bright blue eyes and smashed the add to playlist button, that’s it. But the more I listened to it the more I decided it could work post-elopement if you stretch it. “I’d do anything to make you stay” is obviously intended to be a romantic don’t-leave-me thing in the song but you can take it as the preparations scene if you really want. Not to suggest preparations is a romantic don’t-leave-me thing, that is very much not what I mean. “You cant choose what stays and what fades away” We all know Anatole wanted to flounce off with Natasha but in the end he was left eating dinner with Dolokhov 😔✌🏻 Dolokhov stayed and Natasha faded away hmmmm. Yes, purposely misinterpreting media is one of my favorite pastimes, why do you ask?

A Little Party Never Killed Nobody - Fergie

I don’t even have a lyric for this this is straight up just there for the hedonism/partying energy

We Are Young - fun.

“Maybe we could find new ways to fall apart”

This is mostly also just here for the friends/lovers at bars and parties living it up type beat. But the line “I know that I’m not all that you’ve got/I guess that I just thought maybe we could find new ways to fall apart” bit does kinda hit. It’s by no means exclusive but they do kinda have fun yknow? Also the awareness that they are falling apart rather than doing anything worthwhile or loving is pretty fun.

Fine Line - Harry Styles

“You’ve got my devotion, but man I can hate you sometimes”

Obviously Dolokhov would not admit to being devoted to Anatole, and I don’t think I can in good conscience say that he is, but I think he’s definitely more devoted than he wants to be. It’s more about the hate line anyway. I initially just added it because I was like oh it works as a fine line between love and...not love, but honestly some of the lyrics work pretty well. Now that I’m armed with the knowledge that Anatole’s name means sunrise, I can say “you sunshine, you temptress” fits too.

I Dare You - The Regrettes

“I never wanted to get too close to you but now it looks like I’m getting too close to you”

RIGHT OFF THE BAT this one gets it. That lyric is The Vibe. “You’re gonna fall but I’ll catch you” is reminiscent of Dolokhov helping Anatole get out of (and into) messes constantly, although in an ideal world it would be a lot more grudging. And not to harp on about this but “you’re the one that brings the sun” 🔈ANATOLE MEANS SUNRISE🔈

Nine in the Afternoon - Panic! At The Disco

“Your eyes are the size of the moon”

I did warn you guys there would be several songs on here that are only there because they mention eyes, right? I definitely said that somewhere. I am going to use Dolokhov’s bright blue orbs for my nefarious Danatole playlist purposes and there’s nothing you can do about it. “You could cause you can so you do” does encapsulate Anatole’s thought process pretty well though, I think.

The Mighty Fall - Fall Out Boy

“Your crooked love is just a pyramid scheme”

Not Dolokhov constantly using Anatole for money 🙄✋🏻 MLM in more ways than one. But also the idea of falling for someone being a kind of defeat works well. Admit you like him, Dolokhov. I dare you.

Bromance - Chester See & Ryan Higa

“Bromance, nothing really gay about it”

Historians will say they were roommates. I’m sorry this song just makes me laugh and I refuse to remove it.

Sarah Smiles - Panic! At The Disco

“You fooled me once with your eyes now, honey, you fooled me twice with your lies”

Rhyming eyes with lies is peak Dolokhovcore! And the “Sarah doesn’t care, she lives in her world so unaware” is Anatolecore because he’s stupid. The bit about “my destiny lies with her” or whatever is irrelevant ignore that.

Fred Astaire - Jukebox the Ghost

“Those eyes, they get me every time”

The entire rest of this song is someone being blind to the other person’s flaws and initially I was like wow this doesn’t work at all and then I realized it could be stretched to mean Anatole being super oblivious to Dolokhov’s manipulation. But when it comes down to it, it’s about the eye lyric.

I Don’t Know Why I Like You But I Do - The Wombats

The title says it all. Literally that’s the whole explanation.

Daft Pretty Boys - Bad Suns

“I don’t like you, you look so pretty from afar”

If you don’t think Dolokhov calls Anatole a pretty boy (derogatory) you’re so wrong and I cannot help you. That was why I added it but the vibes of “you’re hot but wow your personality is terrible and I hate you” are there so. Enjoy! Oh and the bit about wasting your time works too, I can think of like sixty three better things off the top of my head Dolokhov could be doing than hanging out with Anatole, including but not limited to stapling his own fingers together and arson.

Rich Friends - Portugal. The Man

“I could really really really use a rich rich friend like you”

Do I HAVE to explain this one? I also like “Hey man I’m cool to lean on but I’m not your property” for them, if you stretch it it gets across the way Anatole thinks Dolokhov is His Friend but in reality. He’s using him HDHHSHDHDHBS Also the chorus has hedonism vibes, which ALWAYS works with these two.

#why do i insist on shaming myself for this ship. idk #war and peace #fedya dolokhov #anatole kuragin #my post #w&p playlists #rat hours #danatole

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cassyapper · 3 years

Text

loving you may mean losing you but i dont mind (jotakak playlist)

dont talk to me about the title of this thing im embarrassed enough

anyway but okay so!!!! very excited to share this!!!! this has been in the works since september but my picky ass finally found an adequate amount of songs so here it is!!!!!! my jotakak playlist (:

special thanks to my lovely and wonderful friend jade for helping me finish this this thing <3

track list nd why i picked the songs that i did under the break!

1. the predatory wasp of the palisades is out to get us! by sufjan stevens i chose this song because it’s all about internalized homophobia and being in love with your best friend as a kid which RLLY resonates w jotakak imo. esp cause in the song, stevens’ friend ends up leaving abruptly, leaving stevens to wonder about what couldve blossomed if they had stuck together and worked through the difficulties together, which JOTARO....THAT IS JOTARO-CORE esp cause kak also “leaves” (dies). so this song was a v obvious choice for me and in fact this song is what inspired me to create this playlist in the first place

2. we are beautiful, we are doomed by los campesinos! this song is abt being in love with someone but you both have ur issues so it’s kind of a mess. considering jotaro and kakyoin’s (to point it quite frankly) trauma and the fact that both of them do jack shit to try and cope with it healthily, this song DEFINITELY fits them. esp cause this song mentions physical fighting and the imagery that goes with it (”he got his teeth fixed/im gonna break them”, “i’ve got a fist on fire”, etc) and the entirety of the bridge/last verse rlly gives me these two’s vibes so! ya (:

3. love love love by of monsters and men this song is the singer feeling like shes completely unworthy of being loved by this important person in her life, particularly because she has NO idea how to show affection and love the (for lack of better word) “acceptable” way, or any way at all really. this REALLY has jotaro vibes cause he is one repressed motherfucker and as we see the entirety of his story, jotaro is full of love he loves so much it’s just he has no idea how to properly express it cause he’s scared essentially. but that didn’t stop people from loving him, in this case, that being kakyoin. hhhhHHh

4. ribs by lorde this song is about being scared of growing up but due to the lyrics being written the way they are, i kinda spin the interpretation of it to be the fear jotaro and kakyoin had on the crusade to egypt, as they were the youngest and didnt know if they’d make it back and everything is just incredibly overwhelming there is so much going on all the time those 50 days. i can do a full analysis on why but that would be kinda long LMAO. for now let’s leave it at they have a very Unique fear of growing up but it still fits with the lyrics. particularly the last bit of the song with the “youre the only friend i need” verses,,,makes me think of these two...

5. can i call you tonight? by dayglow i interpret this song to be about trying to figure out what, exactly, your feelings are for this very specific and important person in your life. since jotaro and kakyoin r both repressed and also suckers of internalized homophobia, i think they fit that theme very well. particularly with the whole “i feel like we’re close, but maybe we’re not actually? what are we?” theme going on in the lyrics, this whole song makes me think of jotaro and kakyoin figuring out their intense and sudden (cause again only 50 days but also, those 50 days had So Much going on) feelings for each other. also the “now i’m no longer alone” line in the chorus HHHHHHH that’s them

6. la la la love song by toshinobu kubota ft naomi campbell SO I KNOW THIS SONG IS KINDA JUST FLUFF but we need some light-hearted moments in this thing hjgg;. ALSO toshinobu kubota is canonically jotaro’s favorite musician so i wanted to reference that and this was my fav love song of his that i’ve found so far so (: also the “you are my shining star” line,,,heh

7. truce by twenty one pilots so this song is very soft. it’s about tending to wounds and taking a moment before continuing to push on. it makes me think abt jotaro and kakyoin taking care of each other on the journey (for example the lovers arc/n’doul fight). also the whole “stay alive, stay alive for me/you will die, but now your life is free/take pride in what is sure to die” makes me go fucking nuts that is. that fits these two to a T fuck

8. this side of paradise by coyote theory this song has big “two lonely people are in love with each other for the first time” vibes and OHHHHHHHHHH THAT’S JOTAKAK.... there are a lot of little lines that make me specifically think abt these two, such as “love so strong it makes me feel weak” (jotaro-core...), “if you’re lonely come be lonely with me”, “i’ll be yours if you’ll be mine” (wanting some security while ur in love for the first time is common but especially for these two i think it works spectacularly) but yea this song as a whole is just...ohhh them. theyre in lvoe HK;FNJFL

9. i saw you in a dream by the japanese house EVERY. SINGLE. LINE. OF THIS SONG IS POST-EGYPT JOTARO. EVERY SINGLE LINE. and the ghost the singer talks about seeing? they hadnt changed at all? they were such a pretty vision, a perfect hallucination? BRUH... just listen i could do a whole analysis on this song it all just fits jotaro mourning kakyoin throughout the years so so so so well it makes me feel nuts holy shit i just. literally every line. every line fits i am not joking. i cried when i first heard this song LMAO

10. video games by the young professionals SO LMAO obviously kakyoin’s epic gamer moves are being referenced but beyond that i interpret this song to just be the fun parts of being in love esp when ur young (backed up with the “kissing in the blue dark” and the “watching all our friends fall” lines). also the chorus just makes me want to cry cause just, happy jotakak moments PLEASE. “the world was built for two only worth living if somebody is loving you, and baby now you do” THEYRE NOT ALONE ANYMORE THEY FOUDN EACH OTHER IM GONAN WAILLLLLLL oh my god. im nuts theynkjNJKNJF also “i heard that you like the bad girls” please. these two shitty teenagers

11. ikanaide by sohta ft. yuki kaai this song is abt not wanting someone u love to leave u cause youll miss them obviously but also ur scared of how the time will change you and if it’ll make you unrecognizable eventually. big post-egypt jotaro vibes 😔 especially cause one part of the chorus translates to “i shouldnt cry, i shouldnt cry, but the truth is i want to say dont go” and im jus like OHHHHH NO IT’S JOTARO FINDING OUT KAKYOIN DIED jkfnNKJFNJDhkld

12. therefore you and me by eve ALRIGHT. god this song is one hell of a doozy. i interpret this song to mean being sincerely in love but youre in the wrong place/wrong time. considering the uh Whole Situation in part 3 there were definitely better times to fall in love for these two. jotaro and kakyoin try to be happy w the moments they do have (i think the second verse in particular adds to this sentiment what with the selfish ghosts part) but they want a better environment understandably so theyre also just kinda ignoring things until they can properly care for a relationship. but well...who knows if theyll live to make it to that better environment ):

13. mayonaka no door/stay with me by miki matsubara this song is a v sweet sentiment abt like “it’s not just heat of the moment!! i do care about u a lot!!” and asking the person u have feelings for to stick around. big kakyoin and jotaro vibes as it would be easy to call what they have a fling considering how relatively short of a timeframe they had but i genuinely think their relationship was deeper than just that and this song nicely reflects such. “jotaro and i will share a room cause we’re both students” fuckin head ass

14. a thousand years by sting oh sting.... so since sting is kakyoin’s favorite musician canonically i had to add one of his songs here as well but beyond just that i do think this song fits them!! it kinda gives me big “if not in this life, then the next” vibes which is a big uhhh thing for jotakak. they may be doomed to tragedy but the moments they have together make the tragedy worth enduring ironically i feel like this song is mostly from jotaro’s pov considering i dont think he ever completely got over kakyoin and this song def has that kinda sentiment but hey it fits them...

15. mr loverman by ricky montgomery SO FUNNY STORY i actually REALLY. REALLY didnt wanna add this song at first cause i felt it wouldve been...idk too cliche? i guess? and i was ALL kinds of picky when choosing songs for this playlist HOWEVER. eventually i relistened to it and read the lyrics while thinking specifically abt jotakak and it actually rlly does fit quite well KJDFN; another jotaro mourning song ): it’s not just the chorus tho the whole song fits jotaro immediately post-egypt but also i feel like some time around part 4 this sentiment would come back to him cause Yknow. Gays In Morioh and the mess of his family life back in america. it just aches for him cause while he’s happy josuke is happy he wishes he couldve had that for him and kakyoin too but yea jus ... them

16. you by petit biscuit an instrumental?? in a ship playlist?? yes that’s right much like mr loverman i was hesitant to put this song in cause it’s harder to justify since i dont rlly know much abt music (and not to b controversial but interpreting lyrics and interpreting music r two different things) however i really think the vibes of this song fit jotakak. it’s got a somber melody but the keys of the piano are high which im taking to mean “light in the dark” which. jotaro and kakyoin (along w the rest of the crusaders) were each other’s lights in the dark. also the ending samples a conference/lecture talking about space flight and like. star platinum. space symbolism. jotaro. yeah

17. saturn by sleeping at last MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. this song is all about losing someone very close and important to you, but reflecting on the good they brought into your life rather than the pain of losing them. this song also has HEAVY space imagery which stardust crusaders is absolutely chalk fucking full of so also it’s a very philosophical song and considering that jotaro and kakyoin are both Nerds and both got a nice view of the stars/space in the desert with each other, im sure they had conversations similar to the one highlighted in the song. i think it’s a good note to end the playlist on cause kakyoin is dead and jotaro is the survivor but it’s not a mourning song so much as jotaro taking the love he had for kakyoin and pushing forward with it allll th way into part 6

but yeah that’s the tracklist! i might add or take away a song or two but this is mostly it (: hope yall enjoy!

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