#yeah yeah yeah i haven't talked about this one in a bit
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𝐀𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫,
who is a virgin and wants him to be their first. gender neutral, not so much explicit, but still smutty, as usual. Alastor is his own warning. kinda.
this one took me a while for several reasons. mostly because life is a bitch, but also because it was a really hard piece to write. I'm asexual myself and this is heavily self-indulgent. I wanted to maintain this treat of his, but still explore the sexual aspect of the relationship and the way asexual people might participate in it. so... yeah. proceed with understanding of this.
oh? so, you're just like him.
the only one who is not surprised whatsoever. isn't it supposed to be that way?
though there are a lot of vulgar people around. he might even praise you for keeping your chastity for so long.
but… becoming your first?
“Truly, my dear? That's quite the favor to ask a gentleman!”
it's less about being repulsed by the idea of intimacy (it doesn't sound bad if it's with you) and more about not wanting to step into a completely uncharted territory.
that's a first for him too, after all.
give him time. he needs to research some things before he's ready to try.
a week or two later he suddenly appears out of the shadows in your room with loud static noises, scaring the shit out of you, and announces that he would be very pleased to take the offer!!
hooray..? (please come out from under the bed, darling.)
now, just like Husk, he is an old-fashioned man. for him, this could only happen after a nice date.
he prefers a simple stroll around the city arm in arm, and having some coffee with you.
you can sense that he's a tad nervous, but also deeply thrilled. his posture is a little stiff while walking, ears, usually unmoving, twitch slightly here and there. it's cute.
you also notice he's more physically intimate with you today than usual. sitting a bit closer to you and leaning in subtly, so you can feel his warmth. gently covering your hand with his own. reaching to fix your hair, touch feather-like and making your heart pound in your chest.
none of it is sexual in any way, but the difference in his demeanor doesn't let you forget your plans for the night even for a moment.
judging by the sly curve of his smile and very attentive gaze, this is one hundred percent intentional.
inclined to take you into his own room after the date. if you're not against the living forest in the background.
(I suggest you accept the offer. fireflies would be a very romantic addition to your night.)
he needs to talk things out first.
“Let's discuss some rules of our… little arrangement.”
the rules are quite simple, although you might find them odd.
he will not take all his clothes off. especially not the lower part. pants stay on no matter what.
his hands, his mouth? all for your pleasure, darling. no limitations here.
and maybe, if you behave yourself and ask nicely… his shadows, too, can participate.
he merrily refuses to elaborate on what “behaving” means for him exactly. it's simply more fun that way, isn't it?
jacket tossed inside, sleeves rolled up. honestly speaking, it already feels too revealing. you don't think you ever saw so much of his arms or his neck before.
he is in a white shirt today, clean and pure, like the snow on the mountaintop. pristine even.
you never saw this, either.
he follows your gaze and his smile turns a little unsettling. you shiver, suddenly feeling like you are the one who's exposed here, even though you haven't taken off anything yet.
“No blood to stain it today, my dear,” he coos, adjusting the shirt slightly. oh, so usually he wears red for–
you don't want to continue this thought right now.
he's very insistent on undressing you by himself.
he uncovers you like you're his birthday cake in a cute present box. slowly removing every ribbon, carefully taking off the wrapping, anticipating what's underneath.
his hands are cold, but his eyes are heated, even somewhat hungry. and so, so intent.
he drinks on your every shiver, on the way your lips parts ever so slightly to let out a small gasp, on the goosebumps that run on your skin, when he leans in to nibble on your pretty neck, right beside the quicked throbbing of your pulse.
he hums an old tune, seemingly lost in exploration of your body and the way you respond to his touch.
he's eager to learn and very observant. he changes the pace the moment he notices you feeling uncomfortable. he discovers what makes you respond well and uses the knowledge without any shame.
but he also does very much love you telling him what you want him to do with that cute trembling voice of yours.
that's what eventually earns you the shadows taking part in the whole fun. if this is something you desire.
if you weren't satisfied before, you most certainly are now.
expect him to restrain you. he likes to see you squirming under his touch, unable to set the pace. he does everything deliberately slow, so you would beg him to give you more and do it faster.
he's very controlling in general, and although he takes into account what you want, he will also act on his own whim.
it honestly seems that he likes teasing and tormenting you to see your reactions much more than the physical aspect of it all.
humor him, and he will reward you accordingly.
but don't let him get too lost in it. he has a tendency to forget that you're not merely a toy to play with.
set some boundaries and you'll be alright.
once you both decide it's enough, he's a thoughtful gentleman again, bringing a glass of water for you, and helping you clean yourself up.
will let you rest your head on his lap, gentle light of fireflies surrounding you.
he sings a shooting melody, letting you peacefully drift off to sleep.
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can you do literally anything with tara carpenter x reader (with a happy ending) because jenna ortega my loveee <33 - 🧚🏻
Hiding Place
pairing: tara carpenter x gn! reader
warnings: blood, killing/murder, kissing, the usual scream warnings
description: you and tara are stuck in a closet... again.
a/n: tysm for your request 🧚🏻anon! im sorry it took me so long to write, i hope you enjoy this as much as i liked writing it. ALSO i haven't watched scream (2022) in a while so i apologize if there are any like contextual mistakes.
Your fingers were clenched tightly against Tara’s sweater as you tried to calm your racing breath. The air in the closet was too stuffy and the proximity to Tara was definitely not helping. You couldn’t get your brain to stop thinking about what it would be like to just lean over and kiss her.
“Are you okay?” You deign to whisper into Tara’s ear, leaning as close to her as possible to hopefully mask the sound of your voice from anyone that could be outside.
“Not really, you?”
“If you consider getting stuck in a closet, waiting for death being okay then I’m doing great.” Tara’s mouth quirked up in a smile and she turned to look at you. Her brown eyes met yours as she let out a deep sigh.
“You really don’t need to stay with me. You can just go.”
“Tara… you’re my person, okay? I’m staying with you because I want to. Plus you need someone strong to protect you, hmm?”
“My knight in shining armor…” Tara said, trailing off slightly as she bit her lip. You smiled at her and rubbed her shoulder slightly, trying to make sure that the clothing around you didn’t make too much noise. “Thank you, really. You’re my person too.”
“I sure hope so.” You whispered in response, watching as Tara’s face lit up with a smile, even in her tired state she looked beautiful. “God you remember when we were last stuck in a closet together.”
“Seven minutes in heaven. Jesus, that feels like it was a billion years ago.” Tara said with a sigh and you nodded.
“I know right.”
“I never did know why you didn’t kiss me then.”
“Wha-” Your jaw had dropped and you knew you were staring as Tara quickly looked away from your face. “Tara… I would have kissed you then if I had known you had wanted me to.”
“And you just didn’t think to ask?”
“Tara… you were literally talking to Amber about your crush on that football player. I didn’t think I had a chance.”
“You have always had a chance.”
“So if I wanted to kiss you right now, what would you say?”
“I would say yes. We might die after all, it’s now or never.” You smiled slightly, feeling as the butterflies in your stomach took flight. You leaned closer to Tara, softly brushing your lips against hers and letting your eyes fall closed. She responded in turn, surging forward slightly to press her lips firmer against yours.
The dangers of the outside world fell away so all you could focus on was Tara. The way she felt against you and how long you had been craving this.
Moments later, after what felt like a blissful hour, you broke away from each other. Both of you laughed silently and you could feel your face brightening with a smile. That was before loud screaming broke you both out of the reverie.
Loud footsteps were heard outside of the closet door and you leaned down to pick up the knife you had managed to grab before rushing into the closet with Tara.
“Get behind me. I think we need to move.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah. It’s going to be fine, okay?”
“Okay. I trust you.” You nod and then carefully open up one of the doors, stepping out into the hallway. You look over the bannister and see as Sam and Richie struggle for a few moments before Sam succeeds in killing him.
You feel Tara’s hand on your arm as you help her down the stairs, still holding onto the knife tightly. You never know when something or someone will jump out. When you get down the stairs you glance at the gun next to the bannister.
Swapping out your knife for the gun you feel the weight of it in your hand as you turn to Tara and brush a strand of hair away from her face.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, you?”
“Yeah.” You look over to where Sid and Gale walk out and smile at them. Sam rushes over to grab at Tara and you feel as they hug each other from next to you.
But the movie isn’t over yet because moments later Amber rushes out. You pull out the gun and shoot. She collapses in a heap as Tara gasps from next to you.
“No one tries to kill my girlfriend and gets away with it.” You breathe out as you lower the gun. Turning to smile at Tara as she smiles back at you.
#tara carpenter#tara carpenter x reader#tara carpenter x you#scream x reader#scream#scream movies#scream 2022#scream x you#tara carpenter x yn#jenna ortega#jenna ortega x reader
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Bonus:
Campaign 2 episode 92/Campaign 3 episode 92 parallels (with some assistance from 3x89)
Transcription of the text in the above images (screenshots from the Critical Role Transcript Search) below the cut:
The following is excerpts from Campaign 2, Episode 92, and Campaign 3 Episode 92 (except one from 89, noted below), interspersed. Travis is playing Fjord, Marisha is playing Beau, Laura is playing Imogen, Liam is playing Orym, and Matt plays Thoreau Lionett in the Campaign 2 excerpt and Liliana Temult in the Campaign 3 excerpt:
First image:
TRAVIS: Your histamine reactions are going again.
MARISHA: Yeah. I've been away from Zadash for a little bit, so the pollen, it's kicking a little, you know?
TRAVIS: I take it you don't fully, fully hate your dad. It's got to be hard to hear this.
Second image:
LAURA: I'm going to heard toward Orym who's at a distance and approach slowly.
LIAM: Hey.
LAURA: Hi. I'm going to put my hand on your shoulder.
LIAM: Sorry, I know how hard all that is for you.
Third image:
MARISHA: Everyone wants to make their dad proud, you know? Just hoping he could, he could show some of that.
TRAVIS: You don't know that he can't. It's been years. You've grown, you've changed. I'm sure you were even more of an unbearable shit before. I'm not saying he deserves a second chance, but he is your father, and you do have a mother, and a brother that you've never met.
MARISHA: (sniffs) I guess it's hard when... the word inevitable has been brought up several times in the past 24 hours amongst us. I feel like I've found my family with The Mighty Nein. I don't like looking at my past, because it doesn't have The Mighty Nein in it, and I think I put off the inevitable, because I'm going to-- I'm afraid it's going to be like my past.
Fourth image:
LAURA: Don't apologize. I can't begin to understand how hard it is for you.
LIAM: You know, every one of us makes our decisions with the lenses or prisms we see life through.
LAURA: Mm-hmm.
LIAM: I can't take mine down. (sobs softly) It's not even about revenge for me. (sniffles) I just try and honor what they sign up to do. (sniffles) I just try and honor what they sign up to do.
LAURA: I didn't know them, but I can't imagine they wouldn't look at you and not be proud.
LIAM: (sighs sadly)
LAURA: I think you've gone farther than anyone could ever expect you to, and you're still going.
Fifth image:
TRAVIS: I don't think one contaminates the other. You've got good, solid footing here. I mean, shit, if we want to run, we run. If we want to kick his ass, we'll kick his ass.
MARISHA: Yeah. (sniffing) I kind of want to kick his ass, and I don't want to run.
TRAVIS: Could I ask you, in your wildest dreams, and feel free to say you don't want to tell me, what would you have happen when we go there?
MARISHA: I think I've worked so hard because I scripted this day, in my inevitable future that I would go back to him, successful woman, respectable member of society, Cobalt Soul, an Expositor, the thing he threw me away to, and I embraced. And then, I would get mad at myself, because I felt like I was doing exactly what he was doing to me my entire life, scripting me to be something else. And I'm still doing it. I haven't seen him in three years, and I'm still trying to be... something. And I think what's scary is that I like this, and what I've found, and I don't think it was until Nott started talking about having to go home and go away that it truly started terrifying me. Because for the first time, I'm happy. And what if that goes away?
Sixth image:
LIAM: (sighs softly) (sniffles) So far. I'm going to miss him.
LAURA: Yeah. Yeah.
LIAM: I'm going to miss Letters.
(sniffles)
LAURA: They were-- They were alive.
LIAM: Out of any of us, he just wanted to help.
Seventh image:
TRAVIS: It could always go away. It could go away tonight. The Gentleman's debtors could come calling.
MARISHA: (chuckling) And I think I know that, and I think I say things to Nott like, "You don't have to put those stipulations on yourself" because I've convinced myself that destiny or the inevitability won't come knocking. If you ignore it, it won't exist, and that's not true.
TRAVIS: (sighs) It'll be interesting either way. Your face is leaking.
MARISHA: I hate it.
TRAVIS: I won't tell anyone.
MARISHA: Don't tell anybody.
TRAVIS: Yep. You're a good friend. You're a good trainer.
Eighth image:
LAURA: I want you to know that that for a while it may have felt that you and I were not seeing eye to eye or maybe you felt that I, I didn't have the same goal in mind that you did. But don't worry about that anymore, all right?
LIAM: I understand family.
LAURA: Yeah. Yeah.
LIAM: I want for all the world for you to have your family.
LAURA: I wanted that, too, and (chuckles) god, that back and forth is a pretty funny thing, but choices were made. If nothing else, then at least we've got a little bit of knowledge on the inside now.
LIAM: Yeah. As much we'd like to, you can't turn back the clock.
LAURA: That's right. But you've got us.
Bonus image 1:
MARISHA: Mom already fucking mentioned that life gets difficult and it's hard. So you're right. Maybe it's easy to justify the easy way out, just get rid of the problem.
MATT: "That's not what this was about. You were on the self-destructive path. We didn't know what to do. I've never been a-- no one teaches you how to be a good father. I regret choices I've made, and you don't think I don't hold myself responsible for-- I thought I was doing what was best for you, truly."
MARISHA: You did. It was probably the best thing you could've done for me. So thank you. Tell me the story again, and then I'll go.
Bonus image 2 (from 3x89):
MATT: "History is filled with evil men. But few have the courage to stand up and try and stop them. Where I'm standing, I don't think we're on the opposing sides like you think we are. We just have a different myth, that's all. That's all. Please see it in yourself to understand why I've done and given up all of this."
LAURA: Maybe it's your turn to run. And I wake up.
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I need to get it out of my chest so here's some Striker theories/speculations fandom has come up with that I heavily dislike and why.
Striker has some royalty blood from one parent or both.
Oh God that would suck so much if it became canon cause it absolutely defeats the purpose of his character so far, that of being a lower class imp hating royals with valid reasons even if his actions are violent and sadistic.
As he is he has such an interesting antagonistic role in the story and offers a bunch of good lines directly opposing and questioning the heroes values, choices and morality.
His mere presence and open bashing of the upper class is just good social commentary! If his hatred stems from a combination of his narcissistic nature and bitterness that being born an imp (even mixed or hybrid) robs him from ascending further into the social ladder or even if he survived a traumatic encounter with a royal as its implied and it's fuelled by anger or a combo of all those things all are good for telling a compelling story! All can be done in very interesting ways!
But making him yet another character tied closer to royalty than just being a random person that got screwed over is honestly an underwhelming concept.
Getting screwed over for no good or justified reason should be common with Hell's racist and classist system as its been presented so far and we should get confirmation of that instead of having Striker added to the trend of each of the main characters having special connections with higher ups. It's not only redundant at this point but would make his motivation and social commentary that much weaker.
I swear if it just becomes another daddy or mommy issue imma rage quit so fast!
Striker is half shark demon
His sound design is explicitly constantly emulating the noises a rattlesnake makes. Since he's most likely a hybrid and he says to Blitzo how they are "superior to most of our kind" he's definitely part imp. So we got two halves and we got snake demon and imp, so it's basically covered? lol I don't know how this theory became so popular😅
He doesn't even look close to the design of the other sharks
he only looks like Chaz a little bit.
And lots of characters share similar characteristics like that snout.
This one had some merit with the ringed eyes and imma be real I haven't noticed those elsewhere but like even if he had a grandpa shark what purpose would that serve?
Bah I just don't like it. Let the man be a slimy snake! Its more unique and it suits him better!
Striker is asexual cause he got grossed out by sex jokes
No...just no..
To be clear you could totally read him as asexual! But the reason being the damn sex jokes is giving me whiplash. Striker got flustered and frustrated at best cause the timing of each sex joke was inappropriate as all hell and cause everyone did it as he tried to be intimidating and threaten/kill them. If anything they were bruises to his ego not any indication to his libido.
But like... In all seriousness asexual confirmation deserves more than a reaction to sex jokes.
Hellaverse does it better with Alastor. In his case it does tie in with his sexuality.
Same goes with all the theories that he's homophobic too.
He did the sexy villain thing trying to seduce Blitzo like so explicitly and smiled when Blitzo called it hot then! What are you talking about?
Different situation, more receptive to sexual undertones and instigating them too. That's what I'm trying to say!
And again. Asexual reading can apply. But it can't be just the sex jokes alright?!😭
(yeah yeah it's a joke on itself. still valid I get it.)
Striker is related to Crimson and Moxxie.
Oh this one is the worst one and absolutely gives me a heart attack and thank goodness for the crew's soft confirmation that they aren't via strixxie fanart cause no joke I'd cry since its my favourite ship!
It's just similar horns!!! Striker was designed as a mix between Moxxie and Blitzo and that's the only reason why!
Striker also had sexual tension with Blitzo on screen are you gonna tell me they are related too cause he was designed with half of him in mind?
I hate this theory so much.
Granted purely for shipping reasons but holy shit it got popular and I hated that!
I've had enough with turning every ship into potential incest just cause and harassing fans over it!
Got such "Fizz and Blitzo are siblings" deja vu😬
Ahem...
Anyways yeah that's all.
To end it more positively I love the snake man! Didn't spot him on the trailer but still hope we see him in the upcoming episodes🥺
Preferably doing shit like this and traumatizing everyone lmao! (with no godawful statue jokes in sight thank you very much)
#rant#Striker#alexia posts#helluva boss#helluva boss striker#helluva boss critical#fandom critical#this is mostly unserious#😂
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Child!Yuu in Twisted Wonderland!
Here is a little link if you want to know a little more about this Yuu. https://www.tumblr.com/Little Yuu ideas! \^o^/ This is just how I think it would go when my Child!Yuu enters Twisted Wonderland!
"Yuu?"
"YUU?!"
A familiar voice snapped Yuu out of their thoughts. "Yeah?" Yuu says lifting their head to make eye contact with the owner of the voice, Yuu's close friend, Ava, "Ya gonna eat that?" Ava is pointing at the roll on Yuu's lunch tray, "Cause if you're not, I want it."
"Oh....I'm not. Here you go." Yuu says passing the roll to Ava, only for her to turn back to they're other friends at the lunch table, ignoring Yuu once again...This was the routine that happened every day since Yuu and her friends started middle school. They wouldn't talk to Yuu unless they wanted something then once they got it, they would completely ignore Yuu like they were a ghost. No matter how many times Yuu would try to speak they would just get ignored over and over again...I can't really blame them it's not like we're in the same classes anyway, so it's probably just a bit awkward trying to talk to me. Is what Yuu would tell themselves after the cycle repeated itself.
Maybe I need a breather...? Yeah, I should go wash my face or something like that. And with that thought, Yuu excused themselves from the lunch table to use the restroom. "I'll be right back guys." As Yuu got up from the table not a single one of their so-called friends responded, they didn't even give Yuu a glance or a nod, just silence. Almost like Yuu didn't even exist in their world.
Yuu took one of the bathroom passes off an empty table and retreated to the restroom. Much to Yuu's relief no one was in there. It was just them, all alone. They stood in front of mirror and a sink, looking at their reflection before they splash their face with some icy cold water. Even with the freezing water against their face it still felt uncomfortably hot...Geez, Yuu. Ava just asked for some bread that you knew you weren't going to eat, so why are you so upset? Yuu couldn't quite understand why they were feeling so...yucky. The nasty warm face that they only got when they were having anxiety, not to mention the empty pit they felt in their stomach. Maybe it was from the fact that they haven't really eaten anything today or maybe it was also from this uncalled-for unease.
Well, whatever it was, Yuu knows they can't stay in the bathroom for too long or the teachers will come to check on them, and they can't have that, now can they? I guess it's time to head back. Once Yuu dries their face off with the top of their shirt, they turn to head out of the restroom.... Why is my vision so blurry? Everything Yuu sees starts to contort and blur into each other. Yuu also starts to sway from side to side slightly in a zombie like mannerism.... Ouch my head! What's happening..? Before Yuu had the chance to balance themselves everything went black........
.
.
.
.
Once Yuu opened their eyes all they could see is black...? Huh?! Did I go blind!? No, no, don't be overdramatic, Yuu. I'm sure you'll be fine. Once Yuu attempts to calm down at this weird situation, they slowly moved their hands in front of them to get a feel of their surroundings. Their hands press against a wood like wall that felt cold to the touch causing Yuu to wince back. Seriously where am I? Before Yuu could think another thought-
BANG
BANG
The sudden banging quickly made Yuu back up into the corner of this cramped place. What the hell was that?! As Yuu thought, there was another voice that was coming from outside the box Yuu is trapped in. "I better hurry up and find that uniform before someone spots me... Urgggh... This lid weighs a ton! Try this on for a size! Mya-ha!" As soon as the voice finished speaking blue flames engulfed the area around Yuu!
"AHHHH!!!" Yuu quickly shut their eyes tight and covered their face with their arms, "What?! You ain't supposed to be awake!" The voice says in a surprised voice. Since Yuu didn't feel any fire burn them, they slowly pecked their eyes open, still keeping their arms over their face. Yuu could now see the surrounding area outside the box. There were floating coffins running along the sides of the room with a large black mirror hovering over the floor in the middle of the room. Although, the thing that immediately caught Yuu's attention was a small grey cat standing on its hind legs in front of Yuu. The cat also had blue flames just like the ones before coming out of its ears with a pitchfork tail! Why does this seem so familiar...? Yuu glances around the bizarre room once more before it finally settled in.
"Am I in Twisted Wonderland..?"
Hope you enjoyed this little fanfic or whatever I just made is called. I don't know if I'm the best at writing, but I at least tried, right? Oh, and I'm going to start working on those requests I asked you guys for now. ( •̀ ω •́ )✧
#twst x reader#twst#twisted wonderland#twst x child yuu#twst x yuu#fanfic#What else to put?#Ummmm#twst yuu#child!reader#Child!Yuu#I think that's it!#Oh#Wait! I forgot#Have a great day!!! ╰(*°▽°*)╯
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Oooh, those prompts sure do look amazing… the touch one??? I’m so unsure on which one I might be in a crisis….
Soo… after muuuch deliberation, may ask about nr. 17 (holding the other’s chin up) with my girl Carrie? (I have to stay loyal to her, though I love all the other Silver Bullets girls equally)
Thank you 💖
- Carrie anon
carrie anon my apologies for how incredibly late this is (along with the other prompts sitting in the askbox lol) finals season will forever be a struggle lmao. BUT! i'm taking a mental break and here we are with a piece for my beans, carrie x dougie, carrie anon!! :D VERY excited to post this, we get a bit more with carrie's feelings as she's pretty good at hiding them (but not great with hiding them lol). so please enjoy!!
bergie doesn't strike out
(a/n): for the carrie x dougie girlies because this prompt i enjoyed and i figured i'd add some more to carrie's background - a struggle to fit in, to feel wanted, in a time of war. yeah, she's going through it to say the least and in some way, we all can get why :'( please enjoy!
Carrie watched from behind her shot glass as James Douglass waltzed over to the congregating group of Clubmobile girls and talked his talk, pulling out his lighter and offering to light up cigarettes, only before making quite the show of winking and meandering away back towards where he had been previously stood with Hambone and Murphy. She watched him let out a barking laugh before pointing to their cups and nodding to the bar. And that's when he started waltzing over to the bar, where she was stood, rather enjoying her stare-down with her shot glass instead of having to focus on him.
"Carrie Achterbeg, haven't seen you in a minute." she heard him say as he approached - which albeit was the truth. She hadn't come out to one of these in a couple of weeks. After that awkward misunderstanding with one of the guys from the 418th - radio operator, kind eyes, but horrible ego - after he had tried to plant one on her, she didn't want anything to do with the flying club, drinks and pilots. Tonight though was different. And after those last few missions, she needed some sort of melancholy distraction, even if it were a shot or two stood alone at the bar.
"Aren't you a sight for sore ey-" Carrie glanced over at James Douglass and shoved him in the shoulder roughly before throwing back her shot and sighing.
"Don't finish that sentence." she managed out, coughing briefly and then looked at him.
"Dually noted." Dougie said, before leaning up on the bar next to her and watching the side of her face, "What's eating you?" Carrie let out a dry laugh and looked over at him.
"I should be asking you the same thing," she said, before lowering your voice, "struck out, huh?" Dougie raised a brow in her direction and she nodded over his shoulder.
"Tatty, Helen, Virginia…." Carrie said, "Christ, Dougie, you struck out and you struck out hard." Dougie rolled his eyes and leaned more against the bar and nodded to the tender.
"Struck out is a strong word to use in that sense-"
"Sure as hell is currently the right word-"
"There's other words-"
"Struck out is as good as it comes." Carrie said to him and he took the beer from the tender and sighed, before taking a long sip. She watched him for a moment, biting the inside of her lip and then glanced back at her empty shot glass.
She was just punchy, she wasn't in the best of moods, and James Douglass was beginning to grow on her in ways she hadn't expected nor entirely wanted. And her mind was trying to ignore it.
"Why haven't you been coming recently?" Dougie asked her as he casually sipped on his beer, eyes wandering out to the dance floor and then back to her, before grinning wide, "Hambone's been missing ya." Carrie sighed and then stood up straighter and pushed her hair behind her ears and glanced at him.
"Personal choice." she said and then shrugged as she looked out towards the dance floor again, "You missing me, too? You seemed real tangled up with those guys over there. Surprised you came over to say hello." She raised a brow at him and he shrugged her off. Watching him, she then turned, only to be stopped by his arm jutting out.
"Where you going?"
"Just taking a lap around," she said with a shrug, "talk to some people I haven't seen before, ya know, get eyes on everyone." He watched her, a mixture of adornment it seemed and surprise, as she straightened her jacket and then looked at him.
"Everything look good?" she asked him, holding out her arms like she was about to go off on her first day at school and wanted her uniform in check. Dougie held her gaze for a moment before he let his eyes wash down her form and then back up to her face again. Carrie watched him, her collar turning hot as he took a slow sip and let his eyes rest on hers again, that lazy smile growing on his face as he nodded.
"Good is a strong word-"
"Dougie, don't you dare." Carrie muttered, a small smile growing on her face as she shoved at his shoulder, and repositioned herself, hands on her hips and sighed, "Seriously." For a moment, they just watched each other and it should've felt awkward, but in all actuality - it wasn't. And knowing that he was looking at her that fondly almost made her want to stay and talk to him more. But she wasn't like that it seemed.
"You look great," Dougie said, his voice strained as he nodded, "don't let none of those fools do anything funny, alright?" Now, it was Carrie's turn to let out a laugh and raise her brow.
"Since when did you care?" she asked quickly, crossing her arms, "'Cause three weeks ago, I had that stupid radio operator from the 418th practically down my throat and you barely batted an eye." A few onlookers glanced towards the two and it took Carrie a few moments to recognize how loud she had gotten and suddenly emotional in her words. And why did she care if Dougie had barely batted an eye? He shouldn't have needed to. They weren't technically even friends, just a joke or two here and there, some teasing and good-natured tomfoolery, but nothing more. Why did she care that he should care? Carrie sighed. Dougie looked up at her with those big, slightly worried eyes and bit back his lip before nodding.
"Well, now that you've made me aware of that, maybe I will bat an eye next time." Dougie said, looking up at her as his fingers danced against the cool mug of beer, "Who the hell was it?" Carrie stared at him and then blinked slowly.
"It doesn't matter-"
"That's why you didn't come-"
"Dougie-"
"Because he had-"
"Dougie." Carrie said, stepping closer to him, and holding his gaze right in her own, her hand ghosting over his arm as if to latch onto him, but failing to do so, "Let it go. It's over now."
"You brought it up." Dougie said back quickly, but she stopped him with a shake of the head. But then she stood quiet for a moment and let her thoughts grow. She had brought it up. Almost as if she had wanted him to know. Because no one had known. Because she'd been embarrassed that she let herself think that maybe that was a good guy, someone she could live a life with and all he had wanted was a kiss. It was a stupid thought.
"Who was it, Carrie, seriously?" Dougie asked her as she balled up her fists and looked anywhere but his face, which she knew had a look on it that would make her lose it, "A guy from the 418th, huh? He ever heard about a thing called messing with the bull, you damn well be getting the horns-"
"Shh, keep your voice down!" Carrie muttered, bringing a finger in front of her mouth and looking at him with wide eyes, "He was just some jackass that thought I was there to have a good time and that was it." Dougie grew quiet as he watched her. Whatever it was between them seemed to simmer and they both seemed to understand in that minute what she meant. But she wouldn't dare actually say why she had even bothered kissing the guy, or why Dougie was looking at her like that.
"He didn't do anything to you, did he?" Dougie said, his voice softer than it normally was, that look in his eye deeper and darker, "I know a guy-"
"No." Carrie said, her cheeks scarlet, "It was just a stupid kiss, that's it. It's over. I just….I was trying to avoid the situation again and…." She trailed off. She was over talking about it to be completely honest. She looked up at him.
"I'm fine." she said with an honest nod, "Thank you for your…..concern." Dougie watched her, with a slow nod and licked his lips, like he was still digesting her words in their entirety. He didn't say much, he just watched her and she didn't entirely want to complain about that because for one, his eyes were some of the kindness she'd probably seen on this side of the world. And for once, they were eyes that looked at her in a way other guys didn't.
"Just…go have some fun," Dougie said quietly, "give me a look if a guy does something stupid, alright?" And she nodded and looked up at him, as he smiled softly at her, his eyes darting over her own endless blue ones, an abyss of dampened sea and darkened souls. Lost and harrowing. He leaned forward a bit and lowered his voice.
"Don't strike out." he said with a small chuckle and she looked up at him and brought her pointer finger underneath his chin and prodded him lightly to meet her gaze, before whispering back just as quietly.
"Bergie doesn't strike out."
#masters of the air#mota#mota writings#silver bullets#carrie achterberg#james douglass#carrie x dougie#THEMMMMM#when you can tell they both want to say things to each other but they can't bc they've never crossed that line before#dougie saying she looks great and willing to defend her like bro i WILL just go cry in a corner fr#THEM#i will forever fangirl over these two bc they are absolutely INSANEEE#me yelling from the corner 'just say you like each other and get it over with !!!!'#this is earlier days of them knowing each other but the chemistry is all the same#please enjoy!
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Twilight- Unknown: Chapter Seven, The Battle
(Alice x Reader x Jasper)
[six] [seven, end of The Eclipse]
Later that night, Bella asked for a sleepover like old times. It shocked me at first. I was expecting her to ask more questions about my past lives but surprisingly she didn't.
We just watched movies together, eating popcorn. Maybe a random question about what it was like being a vampire.
She was sound asleep after the second movie. I decided to watch a few others but in the middle of the night she swings her fist, hitting me right in the arm. "Bella? What happened?" I woke her up, she breathed heavily, her heart racing.
"The intruder... The newborn army. They're all her puppets. Victoria." She says out of order and I raise a brow. "Alice or I would've seen if she wanted to make an army." I argue. "Unless she's hiding behind them, and she's letting someone else decide. Maybe she found out how you guy's visions work." She explains, I sit a little straight. Considering it.
"Trust me, I hope what you're saying is true and that it's her. I'll speak to the Cullen's about it, go back to sleep." I tell her, she nods her head. "We'll talk more about it tomorrow." I assured her since she seemed like she wanted more from the conversation.
I told Edward about it over the phone, now he's changed his mind about Bella being allowed to be even near the fight. Knowing she's a huge target. He's so serious about it he wants Jacob to help him with his idea.
We stand in the woods together. Jasper, Edward, Bella, Jacob, and I. Jacob goes away with Bella in his arms. Us three wait here.
"Okay, go ahead." Edward nods to us. Jasper and I take each other's hands and smell for my sister. Nothing comes about, only Jacob's wolf smell.
"All we picked up was wolf stench. No Bella. This will work." Jasper tells his brother who seems relieved. "Great."
"Okay, Alice, don't be a stranger." My dad waves to my girlfriend as Bella gets out of her truck, confused. "Okay." Alice grins. I see Bella's surprised face.
"Your alibis for the battle is all arranged." She says, pulling me into a small kiss. Holding onto my waist. "Really?" Bella asks.
"I told your guy's father that our whole family's going camping this weekend. So you two are having a sleepover with me. Charlie is going fishing anyway." Alice simply tells us.
I'm surprised he went for it since I am dating Alice but it's probably because Bella will be there and he doesn't think I would do that around my sister. Which I wouldn't... Just in the woods...
"Charlie? You guys are on the same name basis now?" Bella questions. "Yeah, that's crazy." I add in with a little chuckle.
"Me, he likes. Actually, you and Edward will have the house to yourself tonight." Alice smirks at my sister. "Like alone?" "We're all going hunting. Powering up for the battle. You're welcome." She smiles, walking me to her car and we stand there.
"I'm going hunting?" I raise a brow.
"Well, we can go away from the others, of course." She flirts, pulling me closer by my neck to kiss my lips. "Mm, I guess so." I kissed her once more.
"I'll see you later, lovebug." She tells me, opening her car door. "Can't wait." I wink, walking away to join Bella again, going inside our house.
"Hey. Do either of you want a sandwich?" Charlie asks us. "No, I'm good." Bella says. "I'll take one." I yawn.
"Well, the sister. [Name]'s girlfriend. I like." He points to me and I smile, Bella playfully rolls her eyes.
"Alice, yeah. She's great." My sister agrees. She moves over to the sink to start washing the dishes. "Hey, dad. I was wondering. Why didn't you get remarried, after mom?" She asks him suddenly. I look over to him, he seems a little stunned by the question but nonetheless he answers it.
"I don't know... Guess I still haven't met the right gal. Why?"
"I don't know. I thought you just... Maybe you gave up on the whole institution of it. Of marriage. But do you think there's any value in it?" She rambles a little bit. I scrunch my face in where she's going with this.
"Yeah, yeah marriage has value. When you're older. Much older. Like your mother. It seems to work out fine for her the second time around. Later in life." He says.
"Yeah, I guess." She shrugs.
"You definitely don't wanna have to get married because you weren't careful." He tells her and I snort out a laugh, getting a small glare from both of them. "What?" She huffs.
"Look, you know what I'm talking about. Both of you should listen. There's things that you need to think about if you're gonna be physically intimate." He begins, both Bella and I groan.
"Not the talk." I complain. "Oh don't, it's just as embarrassing for me as it is for you two." He tells us. "I doubt that. And don't bother because mom beat you to it like ten years ago." Bella tries to stop him.
"Well, you two didn't have partners ten years ago." Charlie defends.
"I'm sure things work the same way." Bella shakes her head. "Alright, so you guys are taking precautions and-"
"Okay, dad. Please don't worry about that with me. Edward is old school." Bella admits to him. I see my dad perk up a bit.
"Old school, great. What's that? Like code for something?" He questions her. "Oh my God. Dad. I'm a virgin." She blurts out.
"Okay, good. Glad we covered that." He sighs. "Me too."
"Virgin...Liking Edward a little bit more now." He says and that makes a mortified Bella bolt for the door. I laugh quietly.
"I wouldn't laugh [Name] I still gotta talk to you." He points to me and I smirk.
"I'm a virgin too." I lied to him, why would I tell my dad I've had sex? Do I look stupid to you?
"Good, Cullens are getting on my good side today." He mutters and I shake my head, leaving the room.
Later that night Bella had left to go to the Cullen's house as I was joining the others during their hunting.
The whole time my mind was away from everything. Thinking about how the fight is going to go down. How I have to use my wolf form during it. I've been practicing with Sam but it hasn't been easy. It's been the complete opposite.
I can't get used to using it. It doesn't feel right.
I want to let the others know I don't think I'm going to turn but I know that would only upset them. They're busy hunting right now though so I've just been climbing through the trees.
Watching the view above. It's a scene I don't think I could fully appreciate as a human. I mean I can see further so there's that.
"[Name], darling." I heard Jasper speak, startling me since I wasn't paying attention. I jumped down from the tree.
"Yes?" I innocently ask, smiling at him. "I have something to talk to you about." He admits, I tilt my head. Not saying anything, just letting him continue on. "So, the battle." He starts then immediately pauses. "Mhm." I hum out.
"We've come to the conclusion that you should be with Bella. Away from the fight. Edward thinks it's best that it's another person protecting Bella up on the mountain. And then he and Jacob will be-" "Pause." I laugh out loud.
"I'm getting put with the weird love triangle?" I question, a little offended that they're making me do this. "I don't want to but yes." He nods his head shamefully.
I stare at him for a moment. Calming myself before I speak. I understand where they're coming from and it won't hurt to be up there. I'm confident in my family to get it done without even getting hurt. They're strong.
"Okay, I'll do it. Only because it does help me make sure my sister is safe. The only thing is I won't know if you and Alice are." I frown, grabbing his hand.
"Alice thought of that. You're a hybrid, you can hear everything from a distance." He tells me. "If one of us gets hurt you'll hear it and you can come a runnin." He smiles. I shrug my shoulders letting out a long breath.
"I guess, if I hear anything of your two's distress I will be there." I warned him. "Understandable, darlin." He kisses my lips shortly.
In the morning I'm waiting for Bella and Edward as Bella spread little drops of blood around the woods. "You're going overboard." I heard Edward say.
"If this is all I can contribute, I want to be thorough." My sister tells him. "The newborns will be frantic. Now let me put a bandage on that." He tells her. "It doesn't bother me anymore." He adds and I'm a little confused on why he said that. "Since when?" My sister asks.
"Since I spent 24 hours thinking you were dead." "You're not wearing your ring." Mm now I understand. "Well, I didn't want to risk losing it." She simply says. "Or risk Jacob seeing?"
"I think we should wait to tell him. I mean, at least till after the fight." I can't believe I found out they were engaged this way. "If you're having second thoughts..."
"I'm not. I just want him to have a clear head." Bella assures him. I hear Jacob come into play so I walk towards them as well.
"Whose head is unclear?" Jake asks. "Nobody's I hope." My sister says. "Alice says there's a storm coming." Edward announces.
"I can feel it." I stare up at the sky. "Me too, we should get going." Jacob says. "I'll take the longer route. But I'll get there first. Set up camp." Edward tells Jacob and I who nod our heads in understanding. He turns to my sister and kisses her before leaving.
"I have to turn. I'm not getting carried by you, sorry Jake." I apologize unsincerely. "Understandable." He waves me off. "Here. So I have something to change into." I hand a small bag to Bella.
I go off into the woods, taking off my shirt and pants before transforming into my wolf form.
I meet them up at the mountain, beating Jacob and Bella by a few minutes. Edward covers me in a blanket as I transform back into my regular form.
"Jesus, I'm glad I have the wolf heat." I let out a small shiver. He laughs. "Here." Bella hands me my bag and I thank her before going into the tent.
I quickly changed. I hear them talking but I don't pay much mind to it. Not really caring enough to do so. "You guys can come in now."
Late in the night the storm gets worse and worse meaning it's only colder. Bella's freezing, her teeth chattering can be heard miles away.
"I should have chosen a site lower down." Edward frowns. "No, it's fine. I'm okay." Bella assures him. "What can I do?" He asks. She only shakes her head. The zipper opens, revealing Jacob.
"I can't sleep with all that teeth chattering going on." He chuckles. "Forget it." Edward stops him. "She may need her toes someday and let's face it. I'm hotter than you and [Name] here." He begins to crawl to Bella's side but Edward's hand is suddenly hard on his shoulder.
"Get your hand off me." Jacob warns him. "Get your hands off her."
"Don't fight." Bella says, still shivering. Edward notices how cold she looks and pulls his hand away. "Ashe gets sick, it's on you." Jacob tells him. Edward glances at me and I nod my head.
"Just let him, it will help her." He closes his eyes, letting Jacob do it. "Why, You're freezing, Bella. relax , you'll warm up soon. Faster if you took your clothes off." He jokes around. I make a disgusted expression.
"Jake." Bella warns him to stop. "Survival one oh one." He sighs. Edward glares at him. This is going to be a long night.
I lay in the corner of the tent in my own sleeping bag. I slowly fall asleep, luckily just missing the conversation Jacob and Edward have.
In the morning Bella and I climbed out of the tent. We're met with the young wolf, Seth sitting there. Staring at us. "Hi, Seth." Bella waves to him. I give the boy a small smile who huffs in response as a little hello.
"Where's Jacob? Did he already..." "Not yet." Edward cuts off her sentence. "He's checking to see if the woods are clear before he goes." He tells her, wrapping an arm around her and that makes Seth job off.
"I'm really sorry about last night. That couldn't have been easy for you." Bella begins and that's my cue to leave the scene.
I joined Seth up above from where he was. It's boring up here. I wish I argued with Jasper and stayed to fight but I knew it would've made way more problems than what it's worth. I don't want to argue with them anymore.
After a while passes I know that Jacob joined them. I listen to the fighting down below. I focus on Jasper and Alice's voices, their grunts and orders to each other. I wish I could be there with them. I hear Alice and Jasper fighting one of the same newborns.
"Jasper- back off- you can't be everywhere at- watch out!" I hear Edward shout to the air, knowing they couldn't hear him. I hear Alice tell Jasper she can handle themselves.
I stand up to go join but Edward's already at my side stopping me. "He's alright. She is too. You can't join." He tells me and I glare up at him.
"Like hell I can't." I push past him but he only speeds in front of me once again. "Not yet." He tells me. Then we both stop. We share a look with Seth.
"Someone's hurt?" Bella asks us. "Seth, go." I ordered him. He bolts away from the campsite. "Is it Jasper?" She asks another question.
"She's close. I can hear her thoughts. She knew we weren't there but she caught mine and [Name]'s scent." He explains. I stand close to Bella, he stands in front of her. "She knew Bella would be with me. She thinks she's lucky with [Name]." He translated her thoughts out loud to us.
"She found us." Bella whispers.
"She's not alone." I add in. Then a boy, the missing one from the papers, steps out of the woods.
"Riley, listen to me. Victoria's just using you, to distract me, But she knows I'll kill you." Edward tells the boy who looks shocked at first. He hesitates. "In fact, she'll be glad she doesn't have to deal with you anymore." He tries to convince the boy, knowing it's the truth but he of course doesn't know that. Victoria emerges out of the woods.
"Don't listen, Riley. I told you about their mind tricks." She tells the boy, who is obviously easily influenced. "I can read her mind, so I know what she thinks about you." Edward tells him.
"He's lying." Victoria argues. "She only created you and this army to avenge her true mate, James. It's the only thing she cares about. Not you." Edward says.
"There's only you. You know that." Victoria says after seeing the hesitation in Riley. He focuses back on us. Positioning to attack. Victoria's eyes meet with Bella's, filled with bloodlust and revenge.
"Think about it. You're from Forks. You know the area. That's the only reason she chose you. She doesn't love you." Edward was a bit more harsh with his choice of words. Riley falters slightly. "Riley, don't let him do this to us. You know I love you." Victoria forms her face to be more emotional. Somehow convincing the boy.
"You're dead." Riley attacks Edward.
Seth leaps from the cliff above and lands on Riley taking a chunk out of hus hand. He screams in pain. Seth circles back for another attack. Edward starts toward Victoria as I hold onto Bella making sure she's not able to be touched. Victoria goes to escape but Edward darts in her path.
"You can escape. You always do. But you won't get another chance like this again." Edward threatens her choices. She hisses back at him, backing further away.
"You want her. You want [Name]. You want me, Jasper and Alice to feel the pain you felt when we killed James. When we tore him into pieces. Then turned him into ash. When I turned him into nothing." Edward edges her on. Which it works. She erupts and charges toward Bella and I.
I hold onto Bella before running out of the way. Edward intercepts her plan and they roll down the hill.
We watch Seth get kicked down the cliff. Riley spins toward us. To help Edward I push Bella back and grab Riley myself. As we fought together he got me into a headlock. Edward fighting with Victoria seemed a little hopeless.
That was until Bella stabs her arm with a shard of some rock slate.
They stop going towards the smell. I take the arm that was around my neck and rip it off. A loud screeching noise because of it.
I toss the arm to the side and Seth leaps up, tackling Riley. Dragging him into the woods. "Victoria! Victoria!" Riley screams but the redhead does nothing, not even giving him another glance. We hear the screeching of his head getting torn off by Seth.
Edward charges towards Victoria, the two clash and begin to fight. It was fast.
He pummels her down and has himself behind her, holding her in a death grip. She struggles glaring at Bella and I. I ripped my shirt and tied it around Bella's wound tightly. Edward bares his teeth and bites a chunk from her neck, ripping her head off.
"Edward." Bella says, going towards him as she tries to touch him but he turns away. "I didn't want you to see that."
"I'll get some bandages for your arm." He starts for the tent but Seth lets out a small howl.
"Something's wrong." Bella says. "Alice needs us." I tell them. "And now." Edward agrees. "Why? What's happening?" Bella asks.
A massive fire burns when we show up. The Cullens and the wolves drag what's left of the newborns into the fire. "How long?" Edward asks.
"A few minutes. Maybe ten." Alice tells us. "They timed their arrival well." Rosalie joins in. "Probably hoping the newborns took a few of us out." Emmett spits.
"What's she doing here?" Edward points to the newborn girl behind them.
"We offered her safe haven if she stopped fighting. She took it." Esme tells him. "The pack needs to leave. The Volturi won't honor a truce with the werewolves." Carlisle speaks up.
"Where's Jacob?" Bella asks. "There." Edward points to the large world but then he hears a vampire behind him. Leah charges.
"Leah, don't!" Edward shuts but it's too late. The newborn grabs her ruff, yanking her off of her paws but Jacob leaps onto him tackling him. He tries to bite the newborn but it gets its arms around Jacob, crushing him. Jacob howls in agony. I wince at the sight.
"Jacob!" Bella screams. The other wolves pounce on the newborn, pulling him apart.
Edward and Carlisle appear to Jacob's side. Jacob is back to his human form. His face contorted and looked like he could barely breathe.
"Hold on, carlisle is gonna take care of you." Edward tells the boy. "The bones on the right half of his body are shattered." Carlisle tells everyone. Jacob squeezes Edward's hand. Bella reaches them, dropping to her knees and she strokes his face. "Bella." He huffs out. "Jake, I'm right here." She says.
"Jacob, you idiot. I had it." Leah tells him, saddened by what happened and obviously feeling guilt. "Leah." Sam states, basically telling her not now.
"I need to set the bones before his accelerated healing kicks in. It's already starting." Carlisle says. "We need to get him out of here. We;re not gonna win in a fight with the Volturi." Edward orders,
"We'll take him back to Billy's." Sam nods. "I'll be there as soon as I can." Carlisle assures them. "Hand in there, Jake. We got you." Bella touches him one last time.
Jacob cries out in pain as the pack lifts him.
"They're here." Alice speaks up. I stand between Jasper and her. "It appears you've done our work for us." Jane comes into view out of the smoke.
"Impressive. I've never seen a coven escape an assault of this magnitude intact." Jane raises a brow. "We were lucky." Carlisle smiles.
"I doubt that." Jane hums. "It appears we missed an entertaining fight." Alec frowns in disappointment. "Yes, it's not often rendered unnecessary."
"If you'd arrived a half hour ago, you would've fulfilled your purpose." Edward hostilely tells her.
"Pity."
She then looks behind us, spotting the young girl. "You missed one." Jane points.
"We offered her asylum in exchange for her surrender." Carlisle informs her. "That wasn't yours to offer." Jane moves towards the young one. Esme shoots Carlisle a concerned look.
"Why did you come?" But before the girl can answer the question she uses her power on the girl. She screams in pain.
"They came to destroy us. To kill Bella and [Name]." Esme speaks but Jane ignores her. Enjoying the pain. "Who created you?"
"You don't need to do that. She'll tell you anything you want to know." Esme pleads with the blonde vampire. "I know."
Carlisle puts a hand on his wife's shoulder. The girl's screams stop. "I don't know, Riley wouldn't tell us. He said our thoughts weren't safe." She tells Jane, who only zaps her again.
"Her name was Victoria. Perhaps you knew her." Edward says.
"Jane faces Edward with an unnerving smile. The other three positions behind Jane. "Edward. If the Volturi had knowledge of Victoria, they would've stopped her. Isn't that right, Jane?" Carlisle makes eye contact with the girl who just stares at him.
"Of course. Felix." She suddenly says and the brunette male moves to the girl.
"She didn't know what she was doing. We'll take responsibility for her. Give her a chance." Esme begs with Jane and the other members.
"The volturi don't give second chances. Keep that in mind. Caius will be interested to know that she's still human." Jane looks over to Bella. "The date is set." Bella spits out.
"Take care of that Felix. I'd like to go home." She ignores my sister.
The male does it and we all wince at the noises. "Thank you, Felix. Until next time." They all leave.
Later that day I sat in my room. On my bed more specifically. Alice and Jasper at the foot of it.
"Edward and Bella are engaged." I suddenly tell them with my lips pursed out stuck in thought.
"Mhm, that's huge. Are you excited for them?" Alice asks me and I nod. "Of course."
"Why are you bringing it up, darlin '?" Jasper asks with a small smirk on his lips.
"Oh no reason." I lay back in my bed. I hear them snicker at me. Joining me in laying on either side of me.
"Is there something you're hinting at?" Alice pokes my side. "I don't know, am I?" I stay strong with a stern straight facial expression.
"Well polyamory isn't exactly legal in most states." Jasper points out to me.
"Let's move to another country." I simply shrug my shoulders causing them both to laugh.
"We'll get married." Alice hums. "Someday."
"Why not now." I offer. "Are you proposing to us?" She asks and I raise a brow. "Mmm, why do I have to be the one to propose?" I huff.
"You brought it up." Jasper reminds me and I chuckle.
"Fair, fair." I kiss his lips then face Alice to do the same.
"Let's let them have their moment then right after steal their thunder." I exclaim, closing my eyes.
"Sounds fair to me, lovebug." Alice lays her head on my chest.
"Yeah, very smart, darlin." Jasper agrees.
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A Busy Night
Excerpt written for the weekly @flashfictionfridayofficial prompt!
Even this far down the street, her arm burned from their presence. It wasn’t entirely unexpected, Duskend was known to collect all sorts from across Esharial, with how easy it was to slip away in such a large city if you could find your way to it. Still, the strength of such wards this deeply embedded into the building was unnerving. They had to be ancient, but the power hadn’t drained out yet. Whatever was sustaining them was powerful, and whoever possessed such an object would be dangerous.
All of this to say this was the most likely place to find what she needed.
Wonderful.
At least she didn’t need to break these, just slip through a crack. Hopefully one that was already present.
The sky was pitch black overhead, but that didn’t mean a thing. Duskend was still flooded with lights, from those in the street, to the windows high overhead, to even some of the passersby carrying lanterns, shadows few and far between for a place known for hiding. Or perhaps it was due to that reputation that had led to a paranoid need to drive away the activities of some of those who had needed to. Like what she was planning.
She forced her breathing to stay steady alongside her steps as she walked until she was just across the street.
There was a thin alley that at least one other person was using to smoke. The smell turned her stomach, but she would have to suffer it for the moment, it was unfortunately the best excuse she had. The taste was worse.
Plenty of people still walked the streets, but few paid her any mind now that she was dressed plainly and without her umbrella. All of them avoided the building, not even paying it the sideways glance some gave her. An effect of the wards perhaps? Or did it or the owner just have that sort of reputation?
Closing her eyes and letting her head fall against the rough brick, she moved her sleeve just enough to press against the rune on her wrist. The burning faded as she gave into the pull in her mind.
Opening her eyes, the street was now covered in colors from the magics used for the lights, items on some of the passersby, and the vehicles, but none were more vivid than the building, now covered in a thickly woven blanket of different threads. Of course it wasn’t one or two or even three wards, the rainbow held far too many that mixed and blurred to even know one ended. No wonder it had hurt so much.
She blew a cloud out slowly, as she ground the cigarette under her foot, before she crossed the street into the opposite alley. No one was in this one, but no one even spared a glance as she entered it. Or as the dagger appeared in her hand.
The weave was tight everywhere easily accessible from the ground, the owner having done their due diligence. There wasn’t even any give with a light press of the dagger. The sheer amount of time that must have taken. Had each new owner added to it? Filling in the cracks until the current generation’s was this perfect?
If she pressed her luck, how long would she have before they were alerted or returned? Were they even gone? The windows were dark, but of course that meant nothing. If she did wait and prepare, how long would it take to create even a tear, if she even could? Or maybe…
The colors faded as she looked out at the street, but still no one seemed to be paying attention.
The building she had leaned on previously was multi-storied as well, not quite as tall, but enough that the top of it wasn’t as lit as the street. That could be enough with the thin shadow at the back of the alley.
Concentrating on the roof’s edge, she took a breath, stepped, fell into the shadow–
–and blinked into the sea of lights below, staggering back when she realized her foot was over the edge.
“Fucking Abyss,” she breathed.
Her previous opinion was wrong, Duskend was the abyssal damned worst shard.
When her heartbeat had steadied, she reactivated the rune.
From this distance, it was harder to make out the different threads again, but the colors were still unfalteringly vivid. How paranoid were these people that they warded it so far into the empty sky above the building? And to keep it just as tightly woven there too?
Perhaps it was time to give up and pray to whatever would listen that it was somewhere else.
But no, the chances of that were slim.
And no wards could be that perfect. If the top and bottom were reinforced, perhaps… There. A waver, a story or two from the top, just over a dark balcony. Almost too perfect.
She smiled.
With another breath, another step, and another fall–
–the landing was a loud thud that had her wincing more than the fall itself. But she was in.
Blinking away the colors again, she pulled open the door, and closed it with a soft click. Her eyes adjusted quickly to the…apartment? There were couches and chairs and a small table arranged like a living room. A small one too. There was even a connected kitchen.
And with a flick of the lights, a man standing in it, with a wine glass and a smile. “Tell me, little thief, why I shouldn’t end you where you stand?”
#writeblr#writing#excerpt#amwriting#wip excerpt#duskend wip#andy#yeah yeah yeah i haven't talked about this one in a bit#but the prompt made sense for her since she can't be in daylight anyway#so she gets up to some shenanigans#wow i spelled that word right?#anyway#enjoy
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My doctor: Hey yeah that's not normal I don't think it's an issue with your hip
Me: Oh?
My doctor: It's an issue with your spine
Me: OH
#Literally the first thing he said was 'You shouldn't be in this much pain from a labrum tear'#'Yeah I'm p sure it has to do with your back'#Me: Everything makes sense now......#This actually adds up bc I've always had shitty back issues. Lmao#Luckily I don't need surgery!! Unluckily I need to get another MRI! Kill me! :)#If the last MRI didn't bankrupt me this one DEFINITELY will#Also he did say I have a weak hip so I gotta do physical therapy#We'll see how that goes;;#Right now I'm fine bc I haven't even been billed for the first MRI yet. But I know as soon as I get the bill#I will be a HOT mess#Not looking forward to that#Anyway I'm glad this doctor seems to know what he's talking about. And from the get go too#Can't believe it took this fucking long to narrow it down to 'possible spine/back issue' tho#Godddd. I'm so tired#He prescribed me some heavy anti-inflammatory drugs so hopefully that helps with the pain a bit#Lies down#I need a nap bro. Lol#Shima speaks
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Sweaty Palms & Weak Knees .
warning : contains dark themes studying the negative affects of anxiety and related attacks , brief mentions of blood , vomit , and blunt force trauma .
Reader discretion advised .
The crowd outside proved thunderous , he can hear the chants piercing through several concrete walls to leak into the restroom he found himself currently holed up in .
❝ HEARTSTEEL ! HEARTSTEEL ! ❞
the chants prove repetitive , circular even . . . like a drill burrowing itself deep within his ears . . . it only further makes his knees wobble , like that of freshly made Jell-O .
ezreal dares not look himself in the mirror , petrified of the disappointment he will no doubt discover in his reflection . . . barely able to even support his own weight any longer .
❝ HEARTSTEEL ! HEARTSTEEL ! ❞
the cries of the crowd become drowned out by the pounding in his chest cavity , his heart kicking itself into overdrive . . . lungs feeling like hardened steel , his breath short and sporadic . It's proving too much for the young pop-star , who collapses to his knees ; yellow irises watching as his gloved palms begin to tremor .
Lux . Lux . Lux . . . he tries to fill his mind with thoughts of those familiar pink locks of hair , the ones that had always been there for him in his lowest of lows and highest of highs . . . oh how he needed her in this moment .
There's a pounding on the door , followed by a familiar voice on the other end . . . it's Kayn , his big brother figure , ❝ Yo ! Ez ! Nearly show time ! ❞
Fuck ! his mind curses to itself , as the sensation of nausea begins to churn in his stomach . . . he has to lie , even if he hates it , ❝ Y-Yeah ! Be out in a minute big bro ! ❞ it seemed to placate the leader of the group for now , weighted footsteps being heard moving away from the door in question .
Lux . Lux . Lux . . . a second time , he attempts this , yet it still fails to prevail in the end . . . the churning in his gut grows stronger , at this rate he most certainly will puke ; the singer struggles to his feet once more , forced to use the bowl of the sink to properly raise himself off the ground .
The fans need him , he has to go out and perform , if he can just settle his breathing then perhaps he can . . .
. . . Inadvertently , he catches glimpse of the mirror . . . of his reflection , the beads of sweat collecting on his forehead , the pants that escape from his opened lips , the heaving in his chest . . . it disgusts disappoints him .
Just then , like a well guided rocket , the nausea in his chest comes to fruition ; a stream of bile collides with the bowl of the sink . . . dammit , he's puking , and he hasn't eaten all day either . The situation could not prove much worse , the affair lasts for several minutes ; coming and going in bursts .
Pull up on ya' I got trouble right behind me . . . ezreal now attempts to focus on the lyrics of the song , anything to calm his anxiety ; another stream of bile , the fluids inside beginning to pool within the sink bowl . It's all too much for him , even with aid of the fixture ; he stumbles backward , tripping over himself and free-falling to the tile floor below .
What happens next is a blur , like a car passing by you going severely over the documented speed limit ; there's a loud CRASH ! followed swiftly by blurred vision of the ceiling above him . . . then there's a voice , no , a collective of voices :
❝ Fuck ! Ez ! ❞ one voice rushes to his side , helping him sit up by leaning his back against a wall .
❝ What's going o- DAMN ! EZ ! ❞ a second voice joins in , on the side opposite where the first was crouched .
ezreal can barely make out silhouettes , but he catches a glimpse of familiar blue hair and a towering man with a slender build . . . it's Alphie and YoYo .
❝ Get Alune ! We're calling the night off .❞
The tenor proves far too dazed to register what the response was , chalking it up to sounding similar to the grown-ups from Charlie Brown . What he can make out is Alphie and YoYo , scurrying off in opposite directions away from the scene .
Damn . . . were his eyes always this heavy ? ezreal feels a losing battle to keep them opened . . . as a warmth built in the back of his head , blood ? Had he hit his head that hard ?
What about the show ? The fans ? He couldn't let them down , send them home with sorrow coated faces when they spent their hard earned money to come see him . . . he just needs to . . .
❝ Stay still, dumbass .❞ ezreal is stopped from another attempt to climb to his feet ; perhaps for the better , as eyelids flutter shut . . . allowing the embrace of unconsciousness swell over him .
#another low life at the top floor ★ ic#pull up on ya' i got baggage right behind me ★ headcanons#I haven't done one of these in a LONG time . . . so I'm a bit rusty .#But yeah#he considers it the worst night of his life#does not want to talk about it at all
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qroier should definitely show qcellbit his favorite telenovela (karmaland). i bet that would be a fun ride
#''guapito what the fuck is quackity our friend quackity doing in there'' ''what are you talking about they just have the same name''#''vegetta is there too! and isn't that luzu? is that the same luzu we haven't seen in months?'' ''i think you are imagining things''#sorry i love the idea of cellbit being one of the most aware characters of the qsmp#also i think roier is aware to a certain degree that those things happened to luzu/quackity/vegetta/rubius ngl#it's just that vegetta denied it once. he called it a telenovela and kept calling it that. maybe for the bit? idk#he's very dedicated to the bit bless him#because like. karmaland definitely is canon as a real thing that really happened so-#but yeah it would be funny if he showed him karmaland#qsmp#mcyt tag
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Gregory
Through a stick
* Animatronics cassie and Roxy/Roxanne wolf both fight the wolf programming in there systems *
Yeah lmao
Not sure if that'd carry over to Cassie though. If Cassie is a human girl turned animatronic then her thoughts, feelings, instincts, etc. won't have changed that much I don't think? They wouldn't need to program anything really except basic things that allow her to control her body and stuff so I dunno if she'd get many Dogisms
Roxy is fucked though. Anyone that snitches about the effects a squeaky toy has on her brain will die. And be completely deafened by Roxy squeaking said squeaky toy to death whilst running around at full speed. A squeaker will give her the zooms and they're so fucking difficult to contain. She can't stop them. She can only prolong the inevitable. And she can only do it for so long before she snaps, grabs the squeaky thing with her teeth and zooms.
I love Roxy's Dogisms they're very fun
#i love all of their animalisms#they add such interesting dynamics to everyone#some of them have such strong animal traits while others have much weaker ones#there's a full spectrum here#roxy happens to have VERY strong animalisms#and so does chica!#it's a problem for all of them that i haven't factored into everything epse just yet#i haven't talked about their animalisms for a while and some of their backstories are gonna have to change now#which means several animalisms either have to be toned down or dealt with in different ways#chica in particular is a bit of a hurdle there#i suppose it all depends on how big a gap there is between them in terms of age#cause it's SIGNIFICANTLY smaller now#hmmmmmmmm#i can probably keep most of it it'd just need some big tweaks#chica is such an interesting one for animalisms#roxy less so but that's mostly because she's my blorbo and I've thought about it a lot already#but yeah all their animalisms are fun!! very interesting!! they add a nice little touch of depth to them i think!#fun stuff i think!#pop rox answers
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after @filmsrobin gave me an idea, i NEEDED to write something, so, i hope you guys enjoy :)
——
ever since she got invited to accompany the moss tour, it has become her task to get closer to robin, gather her trust and ask her questions about her life so that the hawkins post can make an appealing article about the artist. she knew, for a fact, that fred benson of all people wasn't capable of doing the job – he is loud, and nosy, and never understands when a line has been crossed. the one time they tried to interview robin together, it was a nightmare; she didn't answer any of their questions and they left with their notebooks empty, a recording full of short, one-sentenced answers.
so, she took a shot. went there alone. found a pace robin enjoyed and rolled with it. talked about more than what the post wanted her to; she explored her mind, let her go all out about the lyricism and poetry behind her music, let her talk about her past, her sexuality, her beliefs.
and nancy isn't blind, really. she knows, for a fact, most of the things she experiences whenever they're talking aren't just in her head. how she feels robin's eyes linger on her when she's organizing her papers, full of questions to ask and thoughts to provoke. how robin blushes when she compliments her, and how robin seems to notice she does the same when complimented, too. how robin calls her honey or princess like she's waiting for a certain reaction.
she knew robin would look for her during concerts, just like she is doing now, and sing her sweet love songs like she means it.
(but robin is way out of her league. they're in different worlds, universes even. they've never made a move. maybe she just wants to have fun, trying to get into her pants or, at least, make her flustered. maybe she likes the idea of having nancy fall for her.
maybe nancy really is falling.)
as 'stay open' comes to an end, the crowd erupts into cheers. robin throws her body back and turns around, a smile fluttering on her lips as she toys with the microphone cable in between her fingers and leans in to pick up the water bottle that's hanging close to the stereo. she drinks a little and settles it down, turning to run and grab the acoustic guitar waiting for her close to the band set up.
"thank you, guys! i, um-" she wets her lips, putting on the guitar strap around her body to be able to hold the microphone on its stand, on the center of the stage. the cheers calm down as the atmosphere seems to stop and listen. "i know you guys are expecting me to cover the same songs i usually do, i see you on twitter," she chuckles, raising her eyebrows, her eyes scanning the room to find nancy's gaze, "but tonight, i decided to do something different. there's this one song i am dying to sing to you."
nancy feels her face warm up. robin looks up to the crowd, then, a playful smile on her lips.
(this was definitely not said directly to her.)
"as you guys know, i'm a really big of taylor swift," cheers once again. robin's eyes return to lock into nancy's. she feels her body getting tense. "and there's this one song that reminds me of a really special someone. so, i hope you like it."
and then, she starts singing.
nancy loves taylor swift. could every single one of her songs from the heart, and she'd told robin that. so, when robin starts singing 'delicate', gaze still fixated on hers, it isn't hard to see what she's trying to do.
it's like the world has stopped spinning, like everything stopped, and all she could do is hold that eye contact and hear these words being sang to her.
(dark jeans and your nikes, look at you; oh, damn, never seen that color blue; just think of the fun things we could do; 'cause i like you)
for a while, her body was frozen, and that was the only sensation nancy could focus on. the chill going up her spine, her arms protectively crossing around her own body, eyebrows shot up in a mixture of confusion and fondness.
it felt like a message being sent. a declaration, even.
(this ain't for the best; my reputation's never been worse, so, you must like me for me; yeah, i want you)
nancy knows she started moving to the beat before she could think about it. knows the shy smile that is playing on her lips, nodding along to the lyrics, not breaking eye contact. hopes she won't regret it, later.
(is it cool that i said all that? is it chill that you're in my head? 'cause i know that it's delicate)
robin returns her smile with one of her own, too, eyes closing to feel the beat as she sings it. head moving from side to side, frowning into the microphone as she pours her emotions out, opening her eyes to connect them to nancy's from time to time.
nancy likes her. that's a fact. she knows, for a fact, that she is getting lost inside these blue eyes and the way they linger on her in between breaths. how her raspy voice pronounces each line, and how she leans towards the microphone and bobs her head and taps her feet on the beat of the music.
nancy is falling for robin buckley.
so, she holds the contact. nods as the song goes on, as if she is answering a question, making a statement. she can see, as it goes on, how robin's smile seems to grow every time nancy shows a different reaction to the song. she's nodding along, as well, eyes always focused on hers, on her face, on her presence. pouring every ounce of honesty into her words.
(sometimes i wonder; when you sleep, are you ever dreaming of me? sometimes when i look into your eyes, i pretend you're mine, all the damn time... 'cause i like you)
——
nancy is still processing what happened when she gets to her hotel room for the night.
when she went to interview robin after the concert, she could feel a shift on their usual energy. the need she tried to keep buried inside her chest threatened to slip out at any given chance, making the tension in the room palpable, the atmosphere heavier. but dustin henderson, robin's manager, was there for the first time in a while (of course he was) wanting to make sure that she was doing well on the interview.
but they didn't need to say anything to each other.
after what robin sang onstage, looking right at her, she knew reality wasn't far from her imagination.
not when their fingers brushed multiple times during their chat, not when she felt the sparkles on her fingertips as robin passed a bottle of beer. not when robin seemed to open up a little more, lean closer, smile more tenderly towards nancy, her teeth grazing her bottom lip before biting it briefly. not when their hands lingered a second longer as they shook their hands goodbye, when robin pulled her into a tight hug and made her let out the smallest sigh.
shit, nancy really is down bad.
she lies down on her hotel bed as soon as she arrives, groaning into the pillow as she does so. she never wanted to kiss someone that bad; to slip her hands into those beautiful blonde locks and pull her close, losing herself into those lips, that seem to be so soft and inviting.
and now, at least, she knows she has a chance.
she's giggling, then, kicking her feet on the bed like a silly teenager that has just got noticed by her crush. maybe that's what she is, on the inside, at least – silly, and falling, and so, so needy for what she thought she couldn't have.
nancy is quick to open her spotify app, browsing through taylor swift songs to listen to as she writes down her thoughts on the evening. she is mumbling the lyrics to 'jump then fall' on a loop, losing herself on hours and hours of putting into words the entire eery energy of the night. playing delicate. invisible string. style. anything that reminds her of that face – that same smile, those same eyes that were looking oh so softly towards her.
when she falls asleep, is thinking of soft hands and blue eyes and a galaxy of freckles.
#so#i did something#yeah#not sure how i feel about it yet but maybe i'll decide tomorrow#it's late#im gonna schedule this cause its like 4am rn#and when i post this i wont have time to freak out and delete cause i'll only notice once someone sees it#but okay!#rockstar!robin au#ronance#robin buckley#nancy wheeler#i love them so much it's insane#is it okay to hyperfixate on your own AU fellas#i hope it is#im a bit anxious about posting my writing/art and stuff so nhahahaha help#pls i apologise for any mistakes english is not my first language and i haven't practiced writing in a while#no one talk about the font sizes on the twitter edit i think theyre WONKY but ngl i like it#ma ur writing#ma ur rambling#''why are you skipping to the part where they're almost dating'' i dont KNOW okay#im just headcanoning here#thsi is not how i plan their confession to go actually but this idea was just too good not to write it
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WIP DAY.
tagged by @girlbosselrond @morvaris @aartyom @risingsh0t @phillipsgraves @leviiackrman @indorilnerevarine & @denerims over the past month! sorry it's taken me so long to get to anything at all, i'm sure you guys have heard me address it enough, but thank you all so much for continuing to tag me in things while i've been inactive ♡
tagging @aelyosos @brujah @calenhads @florbelles @jendoe @lightwardens @liurnia @nokstella @nuclearstorms @shadowsofrose @shellibisshe @steelport @swordcoasts @wrymbloods @voerman & all of those who tagged me again cause i'm so behind + anyone else who'd like to share anything they're working on, not just writing! ♡
i haven't written anything since the last wip game i did, but i started trying to put diana's timeline together at the start of january, so i mean... i'll show that instead. as you can see, fatigue hasn't let me do much with it even though i've got all of her timeline already done and strewn about all over the place.
started with 1995 onwards cause it was originally going to be an ewskers timeline situation, but then wanted to include all of her backstory so i went back to the start and still have the late 80s and early 90s to get through before then, but yeah :]
it's going to include like all little moments i've thought of between the ewskers just for me and placing them on the timeline, so you can imagine how long this is going to get if i have to go to 2021 for village... like just 1996-1998 is going to be so much... she's very special to me if you couldn't tell already lmaoo
never sharing this though, it's just for me, and like will help for when i do her timeline page (more in-depth version of what's on her oc page) to just run through canon events and brief descriptions and whatnot. you understand.
everything is blurred out besides 1995 ewskers momence and the years, just cause like idk her i feel weird sharing her in-depth backstory unless it's in dms or something, just cause there's lots going on there and yeah. things. idk
i also made a carrd for twt if you wanna have a look at that :] there's some cheeky subtle things with the two resi items i used as pics hehe
actually, you know what, i'll give a lil bit from where i left of with that rewrite anyways, even though it's been months since i wrote it. but why not
Wesker left a fleeting kiss behind her ear then reached around her and hooked his fingers beneath her coat, prompting Diana to glance back at him. But all he did was gently pull it from her shoulders. She watched him from out of the corner of her eye as he hung it up on the rack by the door, his movements careful and almost calculated, until he turned back towards her, and the warmth of his body returned once more.
He pressed up against her side this time, as opposed to her back, and one of his hands found a home on her waist. The way the arm it belonged to was resting firmly against her as he began leading her towards the kitchen was comforting, secure, yet unmistakably possessive. And she revelled in it. He had quite the knack for handling her just the way she wanted.
#tag games.#keep going to do picrews and just zoning out 😭 i'm so behind on literally everything but it's fine it's okay (lying)#i'm having a day and a half even though i woke up feeling okay but oh well. my last month has just been like watching videos during the day#or playing games when i have a bit more energy but like i can't do anything that requires me to actually read or write things like words#are just not computing in my brain at the moment but it's okay like i'm just exhausted and hoping soon i can get back to writing because i#still have over 30 wips going lmao but yeah it's been a time a half with lots of appointments and seeing specialists again and trying to#sort things out. i've been more active on twitter which i've mentioned before but it's just because like it's easier for me to sort of just#like and rt things and not having to do my organisation tags and things like i know that sounds so just small and simple but that's how#i've been lately like to my brain rn that seems like a really big task. so i just keep coming on here randomly for a few minutes then#disappearing so i'm sorry that i've definitely missed so much and i haven't been around to just show my appreciation and love to your#creations!! also just everything that happened in december and then a bit at the start of january too like i'm just a lil paranoid about#being on here honestly so i'm trying to get back to it and be okay with posting again and i'm going to make a promise to myself to actually#filter more tags i think? just to help me with like not exposing myself to things that do make me feel uncomfortable in any way!! i'm#rambling now but sorry sometimes i just need to lmaooo idk but yes so cute lil subtle things from my carrd i wanna talk about cause why not#i didn't have to change the blue herb from re0 besides making it brighter because it's already teal toned which is so sexy but i shifted#the hue on the spade key like SLIGHTLY like it was so little. but anyways. i use this emoji ✨ on my twitter name and yes cause sparkles but#also. three stars. the s.t.a.r.s. badge and logo :] then blue herb because i will have no poison in my safe space!!!! take a blue herb or#leave please!! only good vibes and safe space here!! spade key because i'm ace <3 i was going to include the diamond one in there as well#because am demiro and like those are the symbols in the community. ace of spades for ace. diamond for demis (both orientations)#but wasn't sure how to weave the pink through the rest of the carrd even though cyan and pink together is so pretty omg
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okay but I am genuinely so unwell about numbers and dates and ages and time and years etc. so I'm blaming all my bad luck on the number 23
#got so paranoid about it that i didn't talk to anyone for the last few weeks and i haven't applied for a job and i'm honestly not doing#anything until i'm safely 24#idk what 24's gonna be like but it's got a 4 in it so that's a good sign#but then again 14 had a 4 in it and that was a terrible age#but tbf it was a 4 + a 10 which is like. my fav number and my least fav number. so the year just malfunctioned#first 6 months good second 6 months bad#so 24 can fit two 10s but they're not as obvious. but it's a multiple of 4 so i trust it a bit more#4 x 6. idk my feelings on 6 but it's never really done anything too bad to me so yeah. 24 is the safe zone#i blame everything on the number 23 and also my friend's awful ex girlfriend#OKAY SO LIKE i was reading coronation street youtube comments the other day#and people were talking about how characters like terry duckworth and mike baldwin were kind of prats before but then they#had some significantly bad experience and after that they became Absolute prats#like basically what caused their villain origin stories#and i was like oh my god am i gonna turn out like them?? is my friend's ex girlfriend responsible for my villain arc??#and i have felt myself becoming more negative and unhappy and cynical and bitter over the past few months#and i was like fuckkkkkk no i can't enter my mike baldwin terry duckworth era#bc before whenever a remotely bad thing happened i would just disappear and go back to telling myself there is nothing good with the world#so like for every job i never got and for every time i put something in the group chat and no one replied and every time i made something#and no one cared about it i would just sink deeper into some hole of hatred at the world#i mean. the rsd. like I'd still react to stuff in that way when i was younger and happier but at least back then I'd also#wave at cool clouds and smile at people in public and be like ''fuck i woke up too early and now i Have to take a photo of the sunrise''#but now i don't do any of that I'm just some bitter cynical bitch who hates everything#so yeah. my 2024 resolution was to reclaim the whimsy i lost at the end of 2022. and so far it's not really going well but at least I'm not#23 anymore#ramble
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today was exhausting - my friend was here for about 7 hours and I just. oh man I love her and all but it's just a lot sometimes. it's probably for the best that we only meet up like 2-4 times a year now (gives me enough time to forget how draining it is so I look forward to it, and recover afterwards)
I don't talk to anyone but my husband most days, and he doesn't really talk. so that's maybe 15 minutes total of talking. and today it was literally. 7 hours. no breaks except when we were eating (but no even then someone was always talking).
first of all ouch, it hurts (my voice is very hoarse now). and also. it's so so so draining. like. we really have nothing in common at this point. but she's my oldest friend and I do love her so it's tolerable... but just barely. these days there's way too much diet/food/weight loss talk, and also she seems to be getting into alternative medicine which I cannot fucking stand (it's one topic where I can't pretend or be nice about it either). lots and lots of very preachy vegan stuff too (I don't have any problems with it, I admire people who can do it, but fuck dude you know I eat meat and that I've said many times that I *can't* go vegan (I would starve. there's not enough foods that would be left. seriously.) and it feels pretty shitty to keep going on about it every damn time. I'm not sitting there trying to convince her that she should really be an atheist or something, because I know what her thoughts are about that and I respect it.
when she hangs out with her other friends a lot it's mostly just talking about all the issues that come from that (they fucking suck). I don't know, it kind of feels like I'm her therapist. when I talk about something I'm interested in she doesn't ask many questions and it kind of sucks. like, dude I don't care about your plants either, but I'm interested because you care, so. maybe try that too. would be nice!
#like I know alllll about her other friends and their shitty behaviour#and just. it's exhausting#it's also exhausting telling her over and over again that she is too nice. yes being nice is good and all but she lets people walk all over#her and afterwards she goes 'oh well I guess it was probably just because [they had a bad day/other thing that happened/I said the wrong#thing]'. I do that too! but it's just EVERYTHING. always. even when someone is CLEARLY being shitty to her. like her shitty friends. she#will still excuse their behaviour#it just makes me sad man.#buuut#like come on maybe let me talk about my stupid tv show for 5 minutes and try to seem a little interested? I know it's irrelevant I know no#one cares but damn you really can't pretend?? I've mentioned it before a couple times on the phone and she's always just vaguely like 'ah#that sounds interesting' WHEN I HAVEN'T EVEN SAID ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT IT'S ABOUT. but she doesn't ask what it's about so. I just stop#talking about it and we change topics.#like. yeah I know it's a bit weird that I'm in my 30s and that is one of the most important things in my life rn but. that's how I am. it's#always been that way. and my other friends care (or at least pretend to because they care about *me*)#so it feels pretty shitty!#like if I can look at 15 pictures of how big her fucking plants and herbs are getting. idk maybe ask one question about my show.#or like. even things like our new apartment and stuff. she listened and everything. but it's just. there's no interest there really. just#live 'oh that's nice :)' and we move on to the next topic again#idk man it makes me a bit sad (and I know it's ironic because I say she needs to acknowledge that people don't treat her well but. I mean I#do know this isn't great. and I limit my communication with her to a level that doesn't feel too exhausting. so. idk I feel like it's#different or whatever. buut really I just don't have many friends and I get lonely and it's better to listen to someone talk about#themselves all the time than not talking at all)#okay I'm gonna shut up now#and anyway I'm just exhausted and it's all very fresh rn and I'm incredibly tired so I'm very grumpy. usually it's really not that bad.#I just needed to vent I guess#okay bye and goodnight and I will stop talking now I swear#personal
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