#y’all literally have conventions about this shit and just use it as an excuse
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I’m so glad true crime fans are being mocked regularly now. They deserve every ounce of it love and light <3
#please note that I have a casual interest in true crime#but I’m normal about it unlike sooo many people. I’m not a ‘fan’ and frankly#if you’re one of those people who considers yourself a fan of it like it’s some sort of piece of entertainment#that’s kinda weird. you can have an interest in something without treating it like some fan thing#y’all literally have conventions about this shit and just use it as an excuse#to spread misinfo and stereotypes about mentally ill and disabled ppl#not to mention the romanticization of it all#there’s so much crime fiction out there but y’all ignore that to treat#real tragedy as nothing more than juicy gossip#don’t even get me started on those weirdos who do makeup on top of it all#90% of true crime media was a mistake#true crime#true crime community#tcc#tc community
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long ass fucking emotional post about what it means to make it to my 28th bday under the read more
also making two bday playlists for myself: a funny one and an emotional one celebrating my journey so far. I know, 28 doesn’t seem like an important birthday, but for me? it’s everything. from something who planned to die on its 16th birthday to now, has been a hell of a journey. the vast majority of it has been heartbreaking, but through all the new trauma and old, I’ve become a much different person. i used to be a hermit basically, a high school dropout who wouldn’t talk to anyone irl and even barely online. then, the glee fandom (for all its evils) happened for me and I got to meet an Australian person irl, someone who flew all that way just to meet their weird little klaine mutual, at just 14.
then, I discovered cosplay and conventions, and in that process, the beginnings of my personal identity. I’d already been struggling with severe self harm and the realization that I was some kind of queer (initially a lesbian, then a trans man within the span of less than a year), and cons gave me a place that I could dress however I wanted, act how I wanted, even get lost in acting as the character im cosplaying. I didn’t have to be a girl, I could be a boy (which I did, and used the excuse of cosplay to get my mom to buy me my first binder, but after that she caught on), I could be everything, I could even be nothing. That was my outlet creatively which would eventually lead to my drag career once I turned 21, which was an impossible dream for 16 year old me since I thought I’d never make it to that age.
unfortunately, I met my major and longest abuser (for at least 9 years who continues to be in my life bc I can’t let go) at a con around this age (16). that would set off a 9 year period of sexual abuse, grooming, and rape, that I still struggle to recover from bc it was all I knew until I was 25/26. I’d never had a relationship with a man that wasn’t abusive in some way, and still haven’t. that’s a whole other post for another time when I can handle it better.
but over that period of time, I consumed all drag related media that I could and eventually responded to an open casting call for local drag performers, pretty much anyone who’d ever wanted to do it. most of them had already been part of established local ish drag families, except for me. I literally started from jack fucking shit and I was almost too scared to perform every time I did. I’d been in theatre, but I was always in the chorus and could never get the courage to actually be on stage in any kind of speaking role. but then fast forward to age 21, where I worked the grind for 5 years up the local drag hierarchy, even though I’m still being discounted on account of me being afab and a king, im more of the ‘underdog’ in ppl’s eyes. ppl love me and want more of me, but the current ones on charge just don’t. im still gonna work the grind until I get where I want to be.
but through drag, I found myself. i became an entirely different person. im miles more social than I’ve ever been, im light years more confident, and learning to assert myself. it was like a rebirth for me and I will defend this art form till my death.
i beat alcoholism, the thing that nearly killed me several times, most notably in 2019 when I was so far gone that they didn’t think even activated charcoal would work. thank god it did but if I’d had just one more glass of straight vodka or two more acetaminophen I’d be dead. and if I hadn’t told mom about what I did when I did, I would’ve also been dead. even five minutes later and I would’ve been dead. y’all I was legit about to be coded when they gave me the charcoal, and I did have a near death experience (i hovered above my body and saw the harsh hospital lights above me and they were extra bright, but I wasn’t being forced to go, I didn’t hear God or anything at all, i just hovered there for about 30 seconds and went back to my body) which I’ve suppressed the memory of until now.
I’ve come such a long way from that, and from my horrible childhood, and yes I was thrown off guard from grandma’s death, and I consider everything before that my old life, and everything since a second rebirth, like I have an entirely different life. it’s still haunting me every single day and it does whenever I go past her closed off room, and I still feel her very presence in this house and with me everywhere I go.
things have been immensely difficult, but I’ve survived, and yes I’ve come out a completely different person, and I’ve changed. but we all change through life and I was changed by my grandmother’s love for me and her presence from the very day I was born, and changed by her death. it’s been a change for the better, and she can rest easy knowing that I’ll never forget her or how fiercely she fought for me through my addiction when everyone including my psych team gave up on me and were about to just let me drink myself to death, but not her.
she let me lay on her floor every night and rant and talk about literally anything and everything, would share her saltine crackers and tootsie rolls with me so I’d have at least something to eat even if it was nothing substantial. she insisted that if I drank, I had to drink in her room so she could watch my every move since she was terrified of me dying alone in my room. if I passed out there (which I did most nights in the later stages of my addiction), she would do all she could to make me a bed out of blankets on the floor, even when she couldn’t walk anymore, so that I wouldn’t be sleeping on the hard, nasty carpet.
she gave me a place to just be, and I still think she’s the only reason I’m still alive.
because of grandma’s love, I’m still standing here today, a completely changed person, but at least I’m still alive.
i planned to die at 16, then 18, then 21, then 25, and then at 28. but I’m still here, against all odds, and I’m so grateful that I am.
here’s to the rest of my life, a very long life.
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I just think it’s funny how
Snaters will literally dump the flaws and mishaps of their fav onto Sev then act like it’s canon…
Like if your fav is a SOB and a dumbass then just say that!
Sev being obsessed with Lily…babes that was James😬 in fact, it was never specified that Sevs feelings were romantic…Assumption 101! James never took no for an answer then basically gave Lily an ultimatum… ‘date me and your friend lives’ type shit
Sev being a blood supremacist…. *cough* Regulus *cough*
Severus left Voldemort’s side ONLY because Lily was in danger! *coughs louder* Regulus *coughs louder*
He said Mudblood! Racism!!! Yeah, blame the half-blood for using his own slur but then like Draco…the pure blood who said it on multiple occasions💀💀 ✨hypocrisy ✨
Or if they aren’t doing that, they’re over exaggerating things..
He abused children! No, Umbridge abused children…Sev was just strict and a slight bitch, and what about it?
He was Nevilles Boggart! He was such a bad and mean teacher! Babes…🤣! Neville himself said that the thing could have easily turned into his grandma. If you really take time to think about it, and the way that boggarts work, Neville’s worst fear wasn’t really Snape, it was strict authority figures in general…ya know how Hermione’s worst fear was failure and not McGonagall herself? Yeah.
And let’s not forget the golden excuses!
Severus never grew up! James did! Where? James DIED….he was still going behind Lily’s back and everything. Just because you get married and have a family doesn’t mean you’re cured of Doucheitus…but I forgot…
He joined the order! Severus joined the DEs! Take what you will from that…🥱😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😑😑😑😯😯😧😧😧SORRY IM AWAKE! I fell asleep from the boredom of not giving a fuck. You can join a group or project or organization meant to do good and still be a dick wad, you can also join groups and stuff that do harm without actually knowing what you’re getting into or what it all means ….shall I name irl examples of these things?? Or are we not ready for that conversation??
And the victim blaming is one of my two personal favorites!
Severus was bullying people, he deserved it! You’ve heard it here folks, if you’re a “bully” then you deserve to be sexually assaulted!
James was defending Lily! Wrong, when James approached Severus (because and only because Sirius’ incompetent ass couldn’t be productive and entertain himself), he was minding his own business, and the mudblood situation happened AFTER Severus was already choking mid air…that still wouldn’t explain how SA is ok, but go off I guess
“Snape must have used the spell on James or other students and thats how James learned it it! Snape got a taste of his own medicine!” That’s an assumption, but I expect nothing less from yall. From the looks of it, Snape never recieved credit for the invention of levicorpus. Lupin even stated that it was already popular and almost everyone used it to play jokes among themselves. So obviously everyone knew it…and let’s say for a second he DID use it on other students, SO DID EVERYONE ELSE! Why did that grant James the right to SA him?
He was a douchebag and he deserved to be bullied! Yes, the poor, abused kid deserved to have a rich, entitled pureblood and his ducklings in his face everyday SIMPLY BECAUSE HE EXISTED. Good job👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
And the pathetic thing is
Y’all can’t even admit that Severus is twice as interesting as all of your favs combined considering the fact that y’all have to take Sevs achievements and tragic backstory and give them to your plot piece characters while simultaneously proving our points about Severus right…I’m looking at the Regulus gurus…
By the looks of it, y’all only hate Severus because of his attitude…y’all don’t like that he isn’t the conventional “character with a tragic history does everything they can to not let the past get to them!”…. the “my past does not define me” hero….y’all don’t like that he’s a realistic representation of what abuse does to a person and that’s honestly concerning…
That’s just my take though🤷🏽♀️
#I’d hate to talk to y’all about real world situations cause WOW#smdh#pro snape#anti marauders#anti snaters#hp fandom#snapedom#pro severus snape#severus snape
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More Actor AU
The previous one <-
Ruby:Justice will be swift! Justice will be painful- *pie to the face* Ahhhh! Nora!
Nora:HAHAHAHAHA! I couldn’t resist!
xxxx
Yang:Do you think she thinks less of me?
Jaune:You and Ruby are sisters. You may fight but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t care.
Yang:Yeah, Ruby...
Jaune:.....Wait are you talking about Blake?
Yang:*caught of guard* Uhhhhh
Jaune:Because why would she think less of you for choosing to act like a first responder?
.......
Ren:*outside* He has a point!
Director:Stick to the script!
xxxx
Raven:Does she have it?
Qrow:You’re going to have be a little bit more specific.
Raven:*slams hand and leans* Does. Salem. Have. The Tape?
Qrow:Tape?
Raven:Yeah the sex tape, it was in the vault.
Qrow:Whaaat? Who’s on it?
Raven:*smirks* Who isn’t on it?
Qrow:Oh shit....*downs whiskey* Tai is gonna kill me!
xxxxx
Apathy:*roaming*
Ruby:Quick, the door!
Weiss:*shakes it* They’re locked!
Yang:Let me-*trips up stairs* agh! My face!
Weiss:Yang! *snickering* Oh gods, are...are you okay?
Yang:Uuuuugggghh. Imma just lie here. Guess we die. *raise head*
Weiss:Uh oh, bloody nose. Time out.
Apathy:*shuffling backwards*
Blake:*on the ground* Imagine, asking grimm just to leave?
xxxxx
Nora:Psst camera man. Pan to Penny.
Penny:*getting make up done* Yo!
Nora:Ready to die a second time!?
Penny:Hell yeah! Gonna make the people cry twice! *puts in red contacts*
xxxxx
Cinder:*chokes Raven* I’m taking what’s mine.
Raven:Last time I checked your name isn’t Tai. So get your hands off my throat. *looks off set*
Tai:*face palming*
Yang:*red* Mom!!
Raven:Someone was thinking it.
xxxxx
Fiona:*reading lines*
Robyn:She’s very focused right now. I think she’s nervous. *grabs megaphone* Cameras go live in five minutes.
Fiona:*tearing up*
Robyn:No wait! I was lying! Please dry those tears!
Fiona:Stop stressing me out! I’m new here.
Robyn:*hugging her* Ssssshhh I’ll rehearse with you.
xxxxx
[Volume 3]
Blake:*getting first aid*
Adam:*staring at camera* Funny thing about Blake Belladonna, she hates reshoots.
Blake:Do not...
Adam:She hates them so much in fact that she’ll do whatever it takes make the first take an absolute masterpiece. Blake Belladonna however also does about half of her stunts. Good stunts too. All those flips and hand to hand, that’s just her being cool. *puts hands together* I’ve worked with her since day one. I’m in most of those actions scenes. So let me tell how insane this girl is.
Blake:Oh geez...
Adam:Ten minute ago, we’re just shooting the scene where her character and my character are fighting. The plan was I “backhand” her and she falls on the ground. Now we’re not perfect. We’ve accidentally grazed each other before. But when I tell you Blake literally just sat there and watched as my hand swung at her....
Blake:Man, I don’t know what happened! *snorting* I knew it was coming, but then the next minute I had no time to go with it.
Adam:Now normally, a sane person would yell cut, but not Blake. I’m looking at her shocked as she’s staring back mouthing “roll with it.” And against judgment, I did.
Blake:It doesn’t get more authentic than that! Plus it only stung.
Yang:Until we finished the scene! We look at you and this red mark is appearing and you’re like “yeah, Adam knocked the hell out of me.”
Adam:And now I feel bad!
Blake:Nah man, perfect scene. Way to improvise.
Yang:Blake Belladonna everyone.
xxxx
Fennec: *dies*
Corsac: Corsac no!!!
Ilia:Wait, your Corsac.
Corsac:Shit, really? Damn, read the long lines all volume.
Ilia:W..wait...*smiling* d..did switch roles? Has no caught that?
Blake:N...no? *looks around* We didn’t right?
Sun:*containg laughter* Please...please tell me we haven’t mixed the roles all season? You audition for...?
Corsec:Fennec. I’m playing Fennec right? *snickering*
Blake:I...uh..how’d we-
Corsec:I’m just fucking with you.
Blake:Oh my god! Dude, I thought we messed up so much shit! My heart!
Crew:*laughing*
Blake:Y’all are jerks. I type the credits don’t scare me like that!
xxxxx
Ghira:*tears cloak off*
Tyrian and Salem: Dayuuuuuum! Look at that man!
Ghira:Pfft, god damn it. You ruined my roar! Hahaha.
xxxxx
Director:Alright Jaune. So in this scene you punch the wall because you just learned about Salem being immortal. Remember to hit hard enough get a good bang for the mic, but we don’t want you breaking your hand or anything.
Jaune:Got it!
Director:And action!
Jaune:*cracks wall*
Everyone:......
Jaune:......
Nora:Welp, he didn’t say anything about breaking the wall.
xxxxxx
Cinder:*holding sister* Diva in the building yall. Introducing mini me.
Ember:I get paid!
Cinder:Yeah you do!
Everyone:(The resemblance is uncanny.)
xxxxxx
Interviewer: Has it feel to work with distinguished talents like Tyrian.
Mercury:There isn’t a moment that man lets me rest. I could have one scene and that guy is offset staring at me and shimming or wearing a prop just throw me off-he’s doing it now! *smiles*
Tyrian:*in Salem’s costume* I don’t know what you mean Mercury? Are you...*props leg up* distracted?
Mercury:Serious doesn’t exist with that man on set.
xxxxx
Interview:Adam, how’s it feel to be the most hated character.
Adam:It’s hilarious. I go the store to get a coffee and the cashier is doing a double take as they stare at me wearing a shirt with Pumpkin Pete on it. Before they process who I am exactly I’m just like, “please tell me you have pumpkin spice?” And their perception is ruined immediately.
Interviewer:Ever get hate at events.
Adam:Oh it’s a game now! Not by my choice. This was Yang’s idea.
Yang:*pokes in* Y’all talking about the game where I make people upset? *sits in his lap* excuse me.
Adam:Against my will...*snickers* anytime I go to a convention with Yang, she enters the room from the opposite door and let the people gather to her while haters gather to me.
Yang:By the time I reach him I see about a dozen people glaring at him while my fans are following me until I get where I need to go. Right before I do, I walk up to Adam as if I didn’t know he’d be there, then jump into his arms happily. Everyone shuts up. They don’t know how to cope.
Adam:That’s with almost any hero in this show. I’m minding my own business and then they cling to me for shock value. Yang and Blake are the worst though.
Yang:I’ve sat in his lap like I am now at a Q&A before because people booed when he showed up. The beef isn’t real people! My arm is fine!
xxxxx
Jaune:*staring at Pyrrha’s statue*.....
*foot steps approach*
Jaune:*looks left* !?
Pyrrha:*holding flowers* A tragedy, this person’s death. You knew them?
Jaune:I...y...no. Just heard of her.
Pyrrha:Really? Cool. Reall strong person. Her people were heartbroken when she chose Beacon. But it was the place she dreamed of. Ashamed she died. Gone, never to be seen.
Jaune:She may be gone, but I know she had no regrets. Pyrrha was a huntress through and through, and I believe she fought like one until the end.
Pyrrha:*nods* Yeah, I think so too. *containg joy*
.........
Pyrrha:This isn’t the real scene by the way.
Jaune:I was about to say! Like, what the hell is happening!? I read the script and missed this part!
Pyrrha:Hahahaha! Good improvising. *claps* way to roll with the nonsense. I can’t believe you said no though! That’s how you get haunted.
Jaune:*laughing* I thought I was! Ghost Pyrrha walking with flowers saying “oh you know her?” I thought I did until you showed up!
Ren:We just shoot random scenes of you talking to Pyrrha and never address it. Jaune is just crazy now.
Pyrrha:I’m down for that!
Director:No! Well....no! Stop trying to get more lines!
Pyrrha:Awww.
xxxxxx
Ozpin:You know originally I brought my kid here so we can bond and he was like “awesome!”
Cameraman pans over to Oscar and Penny sitting on a bench eating together, laughing.
Ozpin:*smirking* I was played, but I respect it.
xxxxxx
[Volume 6]
Jaune:*walks up to Ruby* Promise that you’ll meet us there.
Ruby:I promise. *smiles*
..... *both lean in*
Ruby:......*kisses him*
Everyone:!?!?
Nora:Woah! Cut!
Ruby:Huh? What’s up?
Nora:There’s no kiss!
Ruby:Really? Feels like a kiss should be here. Huh, my bad. Thought it was written in.
xxxxxx
Ruby:*posed up in chair* They had to cut out me kissing Jaune. That’s fine, still kissed him.
xxxxxx
Nora:All I’m saying is maybe I should get a kiss with him.
Director:Nora, just ask him out on your own time.
Nora:Pffft what? Me, into Jaune? No..... I just think it would make good narrative sense.
Director:How!?
Nora:......*walks away* It just would!
#rwby#rwby au#actor au#ruby rose#weiss schnee#blake belladonna#yang xiao long#jaune arc#lie ren#pyrrha nikos#nora valkyrie#penny polendina#adam taurus#mercury black#tyrian callows#rwby salem#professor ozpin#oscar pine#raven branwen#qrow branwen#ilia amitola#robyn hill#fiona thyme#sun wukong#nora’s arc#rwby lancaster
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Alright, so here’s the thing. At this point, I actually don’t care what Artagan has or hasn’t done and, morally, what that means. It’s irrelevant. Interesting, but irrelevant. What I want to talk about is what the Nein, excluding Jester, know about him, and what they do with this information, and how they cast judgment.
Here are things that the nein have actually seen: fleeting glimpses of a figure in a green cloak. one conversation with a giant archfey who has recruited jester’s help in planning a convention. further, fleeting glimpses. very very brief phrases.
Here are things that the nein have heard about him from jester: he’s pretty cool, you guys :) . he’s got a chaotic streak, like her. he helps her pull off pranks. he’s always shown up for her. he’s handsome. he taught her magic. he kept her company when her mom was busy. he is her first friend. he is her best friend. he is her oldest friend. she really loves him.
and yes, they know he misrepresented himself to jester for years. they know he sent them to an island where you lose your memory every night. they know that he is sketchy as fuck and they do not know if he means what he says. and that is reasonable and understandable and fair.
here is something that i don’t know if you guys know about abusers, regardless of if artagan is one or not. (and he’s not. i’m not even going to say i don’t think he is, he literally is not abusive. words mean something; stop throwing them around because you personally don’t like someone.) you cannot tell their victims that they are abusive or awful or manipulative or horrible, and expect that to help. that makes it worse. the same is true of cults. you cannot, and i mean CANNOT, make yourself hostile, because then the outside world is hostile, and the abuser is safe. the outside world is hostile, and the cult is safe. furthermore you’re reinforcing what every abuser and what every cult plants in their victim’s heads--i’m the only one who would put up with you. i’m the only one who really loves you. everyone else will be cruel to me, but i’m the only thing you have. even if the nein had reason to suspect that the traveler was straight up abusing jester instead of just weird and shady, that is not a good response.
no matter how bad artagan is or isn’t, fjord, caduceus, and beau are still being condescending. they are still failing to trust that jester knows what she’s talking about. they are still trying to coddle her, they are still treating her like a child, and i want to talk about that. i want y’all to see that they’re still treating her like she’s emotionally fragile. like individually, i want to talk about that, and also the fact that everyone seems to want to lump caleb into this. (and yasha?? yasha has barely said anything about him, y’all.)
i’m going to skim over caduceus a bit because i don’t think his is a jester-centric problem. he tends to just trust that he either has the correct answers to a situation, or that even if he doesn’t know what’s correct, he knows what isn’t. this arc has been very interesting, because it’s been a lot of “i’ll play along with this because it sounds intriguing, but i’m going to be very self righteous about it the whole time.” like. the “we’re good” when jester brought up transferring followers to melora is haunting me. why “we’re good”? i get cad’s philosophy that not everyone is going to flock to one god--that’s fine, that makes sense. but the implication of “we’re good” really makes it sound like “mmm no thanks, none of these people would end up in my cool and correct religion anyway.” because he doesn’t know! he doesn’t know if any of these people would actually be happier and better off with melora. or. maybe he does know, or has decided, that they wouldn’t be, because these are not the kind of people that he could see himself falling under the same moral umbrella as. (lmao love how i said i was going to skim. anyway. again, less a jester thing, more a “cad is smug about everything” thing tbh.)
let’s move to fjord. he is quite honestly making me almost more uncomfortable than beau, because he’s making statements that i don’t really actually believe. “we just don’t want you to get hurt” is all very well and good. coupling that with agreeing with beau that they shouldn’t leave jester alone with artagan? without telling jester? does not jive. (i’m still not over the ridiculous of that, by the way. yeah this dude--no, this ARCHFEY, who could snap you in half in a moment--has been alone with her regularly for the first 20ish years of her life but now, now he’s going to try and kill her, and you’re going to be the one to stop that.)
fjord keeps saying things like this--that he trusts her--but he doesn’t actually act like it. at one point he even says “if jester has faith in the traveler, that’s good enough for me, i suppose.” but it’s not, and he doesn’t act like it is. you know who actually acts like that? caleb. caleb’s getting his own paragraph though this is getting long as fuck. but if fjord actually meant that? he would’ve told beau “listen i know this situation is sketchy and i don’t like him anymore than you do but because i trust jester i also trust that she knows what she’s doing here, and i’ll be there to back her up with whatever she needs/wants me to do”. but he did not say that or anything like that. instead he agreed with beau to essentially be bodyguarding jester--without consulting jester about it at all. he wouldn’t have told jester “he’s generally full of shit, right?” about the traveler. jester is continually telling the group over and over again that she knows what he’s like. she knows Exactly how he can be. and the sad thing is, if fjord actually believed that she knew what she was talking about when she said that and if he believed that he could actually talk to her frankly and not that her feelings had to be protected at all costs (my skin is still crawling at “we don’t wanna ruin jester’s special day”. it’s not a five year old’s birthday party), then he would have straight up told her. he would have said “hey we’re concerned enough that he’s going to hurt you that we don’t think you should be alone with him. can we help guard against that?”
and i’ll be honest, i’ve kind of been squicked out by all the romantic posts about fjord and jester because he’s spent the last few episodes genuinely treating her like a wonderful but vulnerable child who needs to be protected from the world. when he told beau "I'm probably the least clued in as to how jester feels” i was like YEAH NO SHIT. and i know he meant it in a romantic sense but i feel that it’s true in general. like i get that he’s scared to talk to her. that’s fine. he doesn’t have to talk to her about her feelings, romantic or otherwise. but if he’s acknowledging that he does not at all know how she feels then he has no right to behave as if he does know. and again i don’t mean this in a romantic sense. i mean it in a, he is making the assumption that she can’t handle reasoned criticism of the traveler to her face, kind of sense. he and beau both are opting for “random insults, threats, and judgments they have decided apply” over “genuinely this is why we are concerned”. there has been a lot of “you don’t need him” and “you are better off without him” and “you’re better than him” and “you have us why do you need that” and those are judgement statements that are essentially meaningless. all they do is further demonstrate to jester that they don’t actually understand why she’s upset or what she actually wants.
i think caleb, mr i-eat-encyclopedias-for-breakfast, likely just has a better intellectual understanding of the fae and that may be why he’s not as outwardly concerned as the rest, but he’s also actually decided to trust jester that she knows what she’s dealing with. she has demonstrated both verbally and with her actions that even if she may not have known about artagan initially, She Knows How This Works. and he trusts that. caleb truly went “alright, i trust that you know what you’re doing, where do you need me” and that was IT. i’m not saying that he’s not allowed to be suspicious or concerned or wary of the traveler: i just don’t think he is. and i hate that people keep lumping him in with the rest of the nein “treating jester like a child” because they think he’s predatory or something--especially as caleb and fjord are pretty much the same age--when he is literally the only FUCKING person consistently asking jester how she feels and then actually acting accordingly.
and the thing is, you don’t have to be caleb and largely unconcerned, it is actually possible for you to show concern and alarm and wariness for your friend’s best friend without condescending to them and veth has been doing that this whole damn time. we know how she feels about him; she decidedly does not like him. but she set that aside to really fully listen to jester and then tried to be helpful to her in deciding what to do next, without inserting her own opinion. veth is the only one acknowledging that, sure, this looks really bad and i don’t like that guy, but you know him best, jester, and you know yourself best and so it should be your choice what to do in this situation. she reminds jester--if he is really a friend to you, and he is doing things you don’t like, then you can talk to him about that and he should listen. i want to talk about how when jester suggested that artagan join the mighty nein, there were exactly three reactions. extremely lame excuses from everyone but caleb and veth, “maybe, like, an annex--” from caleb, because he knows what everyone else is gonna say, and “we don’t like your friend” from veth, literally the only person who has apparently decided that jester can hear that without dissolving into a puddle or something.
and i want to make it clear--i don’t hate the actors. and stories are supposed to make you upset and uncomfortable, to an extent. they’re supposed to make you think. you’re not supposed to be happy when darth vader blows up alderaan. you’re not supposed to be happy when edmund betrays his siblings to the white witch. these are all excellent, excellent character choices and i applaud the cast for making them. and i don’t hate fjorester. and like yeah there have been a lot of cute moments in the last few eps. and they are cute and their story is compelling and it’s interesting. but i wish people would stop acting like fjord’s attitude towards her is perfect and lovely and that he trusts her sooo much when he is going behind her back like this. i am...the biggest widomauk shipper. and i have to admit my heart does the swoopy thing every time i rewatch the forehead kiss. but that wasn’t great. it was overall really not a good read or handle of the situation. it was, there was an attempt. and i do think fjord is trying. and i think beau is trying too. and i think all of their attitudes however terrible just come from a place of loving her and wanting to protect her. but--and here i must point frantically back at artagan--loving someone does not mean that you’re not hurting them.
#artagan#the traveler#jester lavorre#fjord#beauregard lionett#caleb widogast#veth brenatto#the mighty nein#critical role#critical role spoilers#cr spoilers#thane watches critical role#long post
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Curious minds want to know, how old are you? And when did you first get into writing? What made you want to start writing? Were you always this good? 😉
I’m grown grown. Lol! I just earned my Auntie status! Most women are raised to want a man and kids but all I wanted was to be the cool Auntie who lived a cool life and be that person that everyone always wanted to have around. And I became that chick! Bucket list check!
I’ve been writing since I was a kid. I am a voracious reader. I started writing in journals first, then making my own little comic strips, and making up little plays. A friend introduced me to writing scripts a few years ago, but I just wanted to be a history teacher and gave that up. I wrote a bunch of Black Western Epics and Black Supernatural books for fun, but never actively tried to publish. I just loved making shit up about people who looked like me. I also started collecting myths/legends/folktales from the Black Diaspora. Just really reading a lot. About 8 years ago I started running with a serious professional sci fi/fantasy writing crowd because I went to a lot of conventions and fucked with fandom heavily. I’m from San Diego so we have the biggest con here, Comic-Con International. Knowing pro writers gives you access, so I started sending stuff out. I’ve been published in books and magazines and I’m slowly getting back into screenwriting. I would like to create a Black supernatural/horror TV show, make a lot of money and go live on an island with a parrot that cusses and eat plantains, peas and rice, and tacos all the time. But now there’s a pandemic and that parrot has to wait.
3 years ago I hated how Black women were treated/depicted in all media so I started reading Black romance books to see Black women being loved up and just to lift my spirits and embrace my natural freak nasty kinks. But I was kind of bummed because none of the big trade publications were selling the stuff I wanted to read. I discovered indie publishing on Amazon and read a bunch of stuff. I got it in my head that I wanted to write erotic romances for Black women. I went to a Black women’s writing conference down south and found my people! Black women who wrote smut in all genres! God is good. I needed a break from trying to publish sci fi/fantasy. A lot of my writing friends were getting published and winning big sci fi awards (a lot are Black women too!). However, I just wanted to free write like I did as a kid. Writing for pro publications is a grind, especially working with editors and trying to hustle, and also dealing with rejection. I just really wanted to get back to writing for fun and joy and just telling a story with amazing Black women in it.
And then Black Panther happened.
T’Challa said “Hi” to Nakia.
M’Baku said “We have watched from the mountains...” to Wakanda.
And Killmonger said “I’m just feelin’ it” Then choked a bitch.
I was ready! *cue Elmo on fire with arms raised”
At first, I just wanted to tell N’Jobu’s story because no one had written it in the fanfics, and then I found a great excuse to write the stuff that I love: Black love, Black joy, Black eroticism/smut, Black women being the center of the universe. Bonus: I have no deadlines, I don’t have to line edit or be perfect for an editor or change anything that I don’t want. I can be melodramatic, cheesy, indulgent, give myself fan service, steal Black actors I love and make them the stars when the real world overlooks their beauty and talents. Extra bonus: I have fun again with writing while doing it.
I was always a good writer in my head. I never planned on being a writer, but I had to because no one else was writing what I wanted to read. I am very well-read in fiction and non-fiction, and I got tired of not seeing me. I say this all the time, Octavia E, Butler told us to write ourselves in. So I had to get random stories out of my head and get it on paper.
Writing these fics allows me to write like I did as a kid. I write and just post. I don’t correct anything. Mind you, I have gone back and read some of my stuff and said, “Sheesh, I should do a couple of spelling/grammer/ repeat words/phrases corrections on all this shit!” In my real life writing I do a lot of passes: Spelling checks, grammar checks, dialogue checks, re-writing, re-writing, re-writing...more re-writing. That’s what pros do. This would kill me writing fanfics. I just want to get the story out even though I do cringe when I see mistakes that my regular writing life would never let me allow to see the light of day. But I allow it in my fanfics because I’m tapping into joy and not trying to please an editor.
This is probably the opposite of what many fanfic writers aspire to. I know many springboard writing fanfics into a pro career. I know a few BNF writers who have done that. I have sat with one literally eating chips as she wrote her next pro book that became a movie and tv series while we were shooting the shit about Comic con. Fanfic writers on this path work really hard to get their words perfect with Beta readers, and re-writing. They are learning the craft and how to write the thing. I love that.
But, me personally, chile I ain’t got time for that, I’m just trying to ease my anxiety. Black Panther was a balm for me. So when y’all read my stuff and see typos/ spelling mistakes and shit and think “Man, she should’ve gone over this to correct stuff, I’m over here doing a shoulder shimmy cuz I refuse to do none of that. I’se free! I can just write without my perfectionism anxiety.
I always give long ass answers during this pandemic. Thank you for your question. It’s more than you asked for probably!
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Do you think Curt and Brian’s relationship was toxic? Could it be fixed?
ehehhebdjend lomg post
uhh I def think their relationship was toxic but I don’t think it was abusive as lots of people like to imply; for abuse to occur there has to be a pretty big power imbalance & i don’t think that was there between them. like, I think a lot of people personify Brian as a cold manipulative person simply bc he was more popular as an artist & more business oriented as a person but not once do we see him actually lording that over Curt or bending him to his will with it.....the one time it’s even brought up in the film Brian is obviously trying to protect him from Jerry & the machinery of the music industry. like tbh I’m more concerned with Curt’s outbursts; his rages are not only inappropriate but unhealthy. there’s no excuse to scream & break shit bc ur not getting your way, it’s at best embarrassing & at worst terrifying. I think the anger is actually supposed to be directed at Jerry in that scene, but it doesn’t really excuse the way he’s treating Brian, who obviously is being used as a puppet bc his fear of failure causes him to listen to anything Jerry says.
Like.........Tbh I think in their pre-break up scene Curt rlly was just not reading the room, but at the same time I don’t blame him bc as Mandy says, Brian was projecting a fantasy onto him instead of trying to love & understand a real person. I think a lot of suppressed aggression & existential fear was coming out, deeper than losing Brian I’m sure he was worried about what his career was turning into & where he would go without Bijou Music to pay for him. Also I’m sure by that time, due to both drugs & his huge ambitions, Brian had become distant with him in a way he couldn’t handle; I think that Curt was truly really in love with & grateful to Brian for taking him in and Brian was just a bit too self centered at the time to understand the importance of that. I’m sure the feeling was mutual, but also I totally get being more attached to your career than your boyfriend, it’s a pretty normal part of being a young adult no matter what ur aspiration is. However, Curt isn’t like Brian in that regard- I don’t think he’s really interested in being a pop idol & I don’t think he lives off attention in the same way. He can’t handle feeling abandoned by probably the only or one of the only people who’s ever been genuinely loving & kind towards him and it seriously psyches his shit out. I don’t think it’s dramatic to theorize that Brian is the first person he’d ever fallen in love with and I definitely think that Curt was the most serious & mutual love affair of Brian’s life.
I’m not sure how anybody can rlly argue that they weren’t in love with each other, I just think like. it wasn’t the right time and I’m not sure how a relationship CAN be healthy when it’s actively being marketed and monetized to sell records & concert tickets. I’m not sure how it can be healthy when it’s only Allowed because it boosts Brian’s image, & when a third party is calling the shots on whether it’s sustainable. like, their various faults & traumas & obsessions aside, that’s not something that can genuinely become deep & long lasting unless it’s taken apart & put back together in a different & more human setting.
like idk. I’m really tired of the way most ppl who like VG view their relationship bc I do Actually think they should’ve been the endgame couple in the whole thing and it’s sort of skeevy to romanticize Curt & Arthur instead, tho I don’t think Curt & Arthur’s relationship ITSELF is skeevy. It’s just that Curt and Brian are the proper ages for each other, with similar faults and backgrounds, they have the same vocation, and I think it’s easy to play off their nostalgias as missing their fame but to me it was always pretty clear that they miss each other. like i literally can’t work Tommy Stone into my interpretation of the film bc I think it’s such a disgrace to the character of Brian to write him that way, but despite interpretation Curt is still going to his gigs even if they’re against everything he probably believes in as a gay punk artist during the Reagan era. & it’s not bc he misses the past, it’s bc he misses Brian. & Brian showed up at Death of Glitter & it wasn’t just bc the macabre appealed to his dramatic bitch side, he showed up bc Curt came back to London. & half of Bittersweet is in German & Curt defected to Germany. And Curt’s following blue headed teenagers around the streets of Berlin. Curt hooked up with Arthur bc Arthur was dressed like Brian- It’s written into the Script that Arthur has the same hopeful eyes that Curt remembers from a long time ago.
I’m just kinda gushing abt this now but I think the function of Curt in Arthur’s life wasn’t to be his soulmate, I think it was to continually liberate him from the conventional life he’s just not built for, which is the reason he gives him the pin. I just think it’s sort of a misread to think they got together because I’m not sure that was the lovestory at hand here. I think it was always Curt & Brian.
so like can the relationship be fixed.......yeah I totally think it can. My Fan Theory (which y’all are free to steal & write about) is that Brian Slade actually left for Paris after death of glitter & took a hiatus to write plays there bc it was the city where Oscar Wilde was buried. Curt probably continued to have substance abuse issues into the early 80’s, when I like to think he moved from Berlin to New York & then back to Michigan, where he lived in rural isolation for a while, writing acoustically & drinking like a fish. At some point around 1990(when the world probably would’ve been up to speed with Curt) Jack would’ve fished him out of there and released his folk masterpiece, panned at the time but a classic by 2020, yknow, and I think Brian probably would’ve returned to music sometime in the 80’s bc he’s just a naturally poppy person & it would’ve been a good decade for him. It could be that Brian’s return is what jonsed Curt back into society, idk, but I think after they both return to their passions they probably would rebuild things.
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Warning Spoilers? I mean some spoilers.
Sooooo lemme give my thoughts on Kuroshitsuji and the ever loved yaoi fanbase.
Let’s start with interpretation. I read somewhere in another’s response that Sebastian and Ciel’s relationship somewhat surpasses master and butler but not in any conventional way whether it be: familial, friendship, romantic, etc. They appear to have an understanding that more connects their inner beings than anything else. I’ve seen it in some of the moments where they’re simply conversing (e.g. Book of Circus last episode on the train).
Ciel is ruthless, cynical, prideful and is very good with strategy. He is a good leader but not inherently on the side of good. He’s a boy that’d already given in to the dark side the moment he made the contract. At such a young age, governing who lives and dies by order of the Queen. He appears to be neutral and his moral scales seem to always be wobbling. That said, he still has his innocence, childishness and a dormant wish for ‘things to be better’. He lies without really thinking and surely feels guilt and regret despite saying he won’t and forcing himself not to. He’s brash, forever moving forward and conditioning himself not to look back if necessary. Very intelligent and rather self aware. The things he tends to deny are only conventional positives e.g. caring for people or generally being a nice person (unless he has guests.)
Sebastian has no limits. Instead, he gives himself limits to fit his job. Not short of perfection, he’s long suffering and has next to immaculate endurance. A brilliant performer and employee yet we don’t know much about his emotions. If anything, Claude appeared to be the perfect example of what a demon was supposed to be. Perhaps Sebastian is like that without the smoke and mirrors.
Now the both of them seem to bond over sin. Ciel being so accepting of his own flaws as a human and being so aware of what makes one; I feel like Sebastian really admires that about him. He who has no morals, who kills with no remorse and sees things generally through black vision. Both him and Ciel are in the darkness, eradicating smudges from Her Majesty’s ‘great vision’.
Towards the end of season 1, when Ciel flinched and decided not to take his revenge right then and there, when he’d begun making excuses and trying to run from it, Sebastian had lost the glint in his eye. Disappointed. It was probably rather anticlimactic, like seeing a dessert you’d longed for grow too watery. Ciel, being prideful, found his way back to being himself eventually after realising the main goal that he’d lost sight of and understood that his soul in that condition, wavering like that had become unappetising.
Revenge is the fire that keeps Ciel’s soul as delectable as it is; What lead him to the path he now walks that he can’t return from. As such, all his other ‘sins’ can fall neatly around him as he can pick whichever card he pleases to help him move forward. This is the aesthetic that keeps Sebastian tied to his hip— the perfect meal for a perfectionist.
Okay so I’ve rambled on a bit. Now onto the yaoi aspect. A lot of the ways in which I’ve seen people portray the relationship becoming a thing is Ciel letting out his weakness and or exposing his feelings somewhat. As much as it probably works, to me, the thing I keep saying when I see it is “Ciel would n o t let that happen”. Exposing his feelings?? HAH as if. I know he cares about Elizabeth a lot and plans to marry her out of duty (but also out of his own feelings too). That is the canon part of it. Thing is, this boy is so damn hard to read.
Before y’all start yelling, I’m not into the pedophilic 10000 something year old demon ending up with a 12 year old. That’s a no.
I like watching the relationship between him and Sebastian develop. Whatever it is, it’s a bond of some sort and if I’m honest, I see it. Some slight hints and the attachment. In another universe it could happen (just not in a conventional way). The way sometimes Sebastian is so careful and delicate when handling or holding him. I don’t see a father or brother, I see a caretaker or a tutor. But even so, I still don’t see that. Some scenes look like it’s almost past that?? It’s hard to explain but it’s never conventional. The typical ‘oooh~ blushy blushy I have feelings’ or tsundere ‘nooo! Don’t touch me you idiot!’.
It’s just. I can’t put my finger on it. But if I had to see it happening, I would imagine that they’d continue their business/teasing/friendship up until a point where it becomes possible. Whatever deeper bond is kept underneath a bunch of leaves until Winter comes and reveals everything. What I mean is: Ciel will grow up. If he doesn’t go through with the contract, he’ll grow up and whatever was dormant will start coming through. Needs or rather what he didn’t know he needed (don’t think of it like that -.-) will start coming through. And Sebastian is literally riiiight next to him. The comfort. The go-to. So. Needless to say. In my mind, I feel like the boy will be very confused.
As a duo, they’re adorable. I love seeing them together and it just works. The aesthetic, their ideals, their personalities (I use the word loosely) etc etc.
This was a huuuuge ramble and I didn’t really go anywhere but I guess the easiest thing to conclude all this with is: Yes, I can see them together. No, not right now. When Ciel is older and has his mind opened to other things? Yes. I don’t blame the yaoi fanbase but I don’t condone the pedophilia. No matter what, Ciel is a minor. The demon ending is a different story. But the boy is a boy.
Unless you wanna go into darker and realistic territory, yes it could happen but no I wouldn’t condone it. It would be the ‘it is what it is’ shrug moment bc idfk. Real life is messed up. If it ever went there, I wouldn’t be surprised- things get complicated and Sebastian is a demon. In terms of characters, I don’t think so...unless the ‘needs’ thing comes early (which is a eughhh no) but would I blame anyone for writing it? No. Just don’t romanticise it. It ain’t right.
———
Update: I didn’t really see what was behind the Sebciel ship. Turns out no matter what, it’s still impure and not a good. No no. So I’m all for the platonic thing. Not like I wasn’t before but the aged up thing doesn’t sit right anymore. (Which is unfortunate because there were some good spinoffs).
That said, I still don’t give a shit about the Yaoi fanbase. It’s a whole kettle of fish to get into. Do what you want, I won’t be shocked by anything nor will I condone it. Platonic only is good.
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sanjivani 14.10.19 lb
pft. false alarm.
also ishani ran up there and sid didn't? unrealistic. blocked.
ALSO, ouff ishani, you're a doctor; stop getting into a panic and yelling OMG GET UPPPPPP like the rest of us plebs.
juhiiiiiiiiiii i love you, you are bestttttt.
oh boy, what news? aaj kal "news" word se darr lagta hai, coz there's literally nothing good on the fucking news.
AWWWWWWWWWW YISSSSSSSSSSSSSS JESSI GOT INTO THE CLINICAL TRIAL IN HOUSTON!
jess ne toh 7 janmon ki bucket list bana di, and wants to fulfill it all now now now.
of course. financial issues.
sid is like “paiso ka jugaad kar lenge....”, and instantly vardhan is like biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch; coz he knows sid's about to start frauding some rich peeps around here, lol.
juhi seems to have a pretty hard to believe solution but ok. i don't wanna dwell on this reality waala problem in my fantasy feel-good show.
where dr. shashank and his tumour headache disappear off to btw? anjali, maybe you should check on him.
vardhan is such a grinch, lord. man, can you just die?
and rishabh's nice mood was too good to last as well. he's back to hatin' on sid. (for what reason????? he didn’t even do anything to you today!!!?!!?)
stop bitching about my boy like this, fuckers. keedein padein tumhare mooh mein.
NO. STOP OGLING ANJALI LIKE THIS. I HATE YOU.
ohhhhhhhhh no. ohhhhhhhh sid.
BTW WHO IS THIS GIRL WHO'S GETTING TO DANCE WITH ALL THE HOTTIES, HEIN????? FIRST RAHIL AND NOW THIS ONE ALSO???? TELL US YOUR SECRETS, SIS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
fucking dumbass. wipe that grin off your face before i get into the screen and do it for ya.
lol what even is going on, literally no one else is dancing, is this whole event just an excuse for sid to get all up on all the girls around here??
rishabh is about to do mauke pe chauka, and y'know what, i'm not so mad, lol. in your face, sid.
oh ho, compliment AND apology for posters. fake as fuck, but appreciated for the moment.
lmao the fuck is this idiot even doing???? i can't watch!!!!!!
oh damn, rishabh got moves.
ghungroo nahi, tera mooh todna hai, sid. idiot fellow.
OH. DON'T LIKE A TASTE OF YOUR OWN MEDICINE HUH??? FUCKING DUMBASS. PLAY STUPID GAMES, WIN STUPID PRIZES.
LMAO I LOVE HOW BOTH ISHANI AND RISHABH ARE JUST FOCUSED ON MAKING SID AS UNCOMFORTABLE AS POSSIBLE. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU INVOLVED IN THIS SITUATION IS SUCH A FUCKING IDIOT, I CAN’T WITH Y’ALL.
oh ho. OHHHHHHHHHHHH HO.
also aye chal na, take this neanderthal act somewhere else.
tere mooh pe na maar de yeh taali, sid?
OH HO ISHANI YOU'RE SO EASILY PLACATED. EITHER HAVE THIS AIR OF NONCHALANCE AT ALL TIMES, OR HOLD ON TO THAT ANGER.
"mera naam bade bade akshar mein likhna, sabko pata chalna chahiye ki jessi sirf jignesh ki hai!"
"tum kaho toh main tumhara naam apne maathe pe likhwaaloon?"
LOL MAN, I LOVE JESSI THE MOST.
oh boy why he sending everyone away?
ohhhhhhhhh jessi, false alarm nahi thaaaaaa. also ouff, this siddhu is worming his way back into my heart.
"jab kissi se itna pyaar ho jaaye na, toh unki koi bhi baat, chaahe woh kitni bhi badi ho, chupaani padd jaaye toh chupa lenge. unki khushi ke liye, khud taqleef seh lenge."
HEY SIDDHANT, WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT THE FUCK KINDA BITCHASS SACRIFICIAL BULLSHIT ARE YOU IMPLYING YOU'RE GONNA PULL?????????
fuckkkkkkkkkk, stupid boy is back in my heart even though i don't want him there, coz i know he’s about to do some real dumb shit.
"yeh kaisa function hai, itna rukha sukha, kuch karo, naach gaana vaghera..."
"vardhan sir mera mood nahi hai." lol understandable; sid ne patta jo kaat diya tera.
"tumhara mood nahi hai? tumhe anarkali banke logon ka mann behlaane ke liye nahi keh raha hoon!" ok i legit lold.
oh boy is he implying what i thought he was implying??? aur rishabh ghadde ko samajh aayi bhi ki nahi?????
SO SUBTLE. FUCKING N0OBS.
"chhe baje."
"kya?"
"jisse tu dhoond rahi hai, woh chhe baje khada hai." [ecstatic tone] "CHHE BAJE!"
lmaoooooooooooooo asha the real G. (but her accent is gone???? they should just have had chandni play a new character instead of asha. coz i like chandni, she just doesn’t fit asha’s character.)
aklsjflskjflkslkj rahil.
ohhhhhhhhhhh boy. asha wrote sid's name in her mehendi, didn't she??
mamu's here with...... mehendi for sid?
lol ofc rahil has to pour not only ghee, but also petrol, kerosene, and all other available flammable substances on this fire and uksaaofy mamu.
hein yeh kaunsa katti hai? humaare yahaan toh katti pinky finger dikha ke hota hai????
pls to leave your local katti conventions in the comments, for anthropological research purposes.
they have successfully hounded himmmmmmmm into it. sakjfkjfsljflk this ought to be goooooood.
asha toh up to bhaaaaaari kaand.
what nonsense, who gets something written on them and doesn't look???
"yeh bataa tere dil mein poori ki poori kaun hai?"
"maamu uska naam I se... I.... I... I.... I don't know maamu... kaun hai?????" pfffffffffffffft this shadyass fuck i love him more than anyone else in this showwwwwwww
lol rishabh finally figured out which salim-anarkali vardhan was talking about.
waah rishabh quite good at the emotional blackmail. yaar iss bande ko negative kyun banaya, itna masoom sa face hai iska, dil maanta nahi isko hate karne ko!
anjali rushing here and forbidding out of what looks to be genuine worry for dad's health.
MAN SHASHANK ALWAYS HAS THE CUTEST LITTLE IN-JOKES WITH ANJALI; HOW CAN SHE THINK SHE'S SECOND TO ANYONE WITH HIM??????
wow anjali is getting really hyper.
shashank, honestly, is this a good idea? you were clutching at your head/neck like..... minutes ago.
shady fucks, shady fucks, shaaaaaaaaaady fucks.
oh anjali.
"aap toh jaanti hai humein nachna nahi aata. humaari izzat aapke hawaale."
oh ho you didn't have to make it all sultry like that. Y'ALL NEED TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT BETWEEN YOURSELVES AND SOON.
does aman levy a high 5 tax as dj? har koi usko dance karne se pehle high 5 diye jaa hai.
me at all social events, wishing i was back home chilling with my cat, blissfully braless.
eventually working up to being this mad when the people i’m with just don’t take the hint that i was ready to leave 2 hours ago.
fwding the naach gaana.
but lord, juhi is so damn beautiful. if this was a different show in a different land, i'd be shipping juhi/anjali coz honestly........... fuck, the hotness.
tell me this doesn’t exactly mirror sid/ishani watching the other dance with someone else.
vardhan, burn in hell, fucker. honestly.
yup, asha wrote sid's name in ishani's mehendi.
wooooooooooooooop.
oh boy, guddu mama. THAT'S NOT THE COUPLE YOU SHOULD BE MAKING AWKWARDDDDDDDDD. FOCUS ON SIDDHU!
goood lordddddddddddd juhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. ek conversation, ek din mein kitniiiiiiiiiii baaaaaaaar dohraogi????? matbal..... upar tak lift jaa nahi raha kya????? problem kya hai? nahi batao mujhe. does he have to draw it out for you, pictionary style??? mime it charades style??? what????????
also, appropriate placement of the song's "ae le!" lmaooooooo
oh shit. grabbing.
well. guess we got a definitive answer to that one.
welp. it's been a good 3, 4-ish weeks knowing you as a good, sorted dude with minimal mental complexes, siddhant. bade hi dukh ke saath, we'll be reverting to our regularly scheduled programming of thinking men are fucking dipshits even if (probably???) well-intentioned. 🙄🙄🙄
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The Umbrella Academy 1x04-7
This was a good crop of episodes... for a drama tv show. I just finished episode 7 and the one thought I had was “These people really like to talk about their powers a lot. But like... not actually use them.”
For real, Allison hasn’t used her power ONCE. I mean, episode 8 is titled “I Heard A Rumor” so like!!!!!! but like I wish the show had did more physical gags as an excuse for them to use their powers. Yea, I like how they are shaping Klaus’ individual character arc with his struggle to control his powers with drug abuse but now wants to control his powers but must first get over drug addiction to do so. I LOVE THAT but like... man wouldn’t it be cool if that was done for everyone? Like more fight scenes to show off Luther and Diego’s powers? They don’t have a problem with showing off Five’s powers. Why can’t they do they with the others? I feel that this show is supposed to be more of a DECONSTRUCTION of the superhero narratives than something that falls into the conventions of the genre. The characters talk about their powers a lot. But those conversations tend with them implying that they hate their powers The story supports this in how their father abused them BECAUSE of their powers. And the overall story arc appears to be the team learning about how they should use their powers because they can do such great things with them. (With I hope a point made that even tho that might be true, that does not excuse their father’s abuse). But yeah, this show keeps repeating the theme of “the burden of being a hero” especially with how the rest of the team reacts to Diego’s vigilantism and Luther’s steadfast faith to their father’s mission. “Why do I have to save the world?” But like.... okay you SAID that. You KEEP saying that. But we also have a ticking clock to literal doomsday. How we gon wrap this up? And then episode 7 comes along!
Okay, I really like the combination of episode 6 and 7 are so cool with the whole “rewind of a day”. I felt like we really got to sink our teeth into all of the characters (cept Allison...). I am starting to feel a lot more invested in them and what they go through. I still feel like the main driving force of the show however is the plot, not the characterization. But the characters are getting more interesting, overall, and I really enjoy that.
I didn’t mention Hazel and Cha-Cha in my first review but OMG they are really great antagonists! I love their personalities, their chemistry, their aesthetic, their character arcs. I always appreciate a well-defined villain and these two deliver. I ALWAYS love when we cut to them. Honestly, I wish the show was based around them more often. They get the bulk of the action scenes anyways!!
Let’s talk about the individual characters.
1) Luther: yeah yeah he has def got more interesting to me. I like how it is canon in both timelines that he finds out his father sent him to the moon to essentially rot away out of site. Which wow fuck lol okay goddamn. I’m glad we have a solid backstory as into why he looks like that and it wasn’t just some odd aesthetic choice. Cause like... yeah it just seemed bizarre and out of place to everything in the show. And damn they erased him and Allison dancing and kissing? I mean... is it incest if they were both adopted? Like... they were raised more like colleagues than siblings? So it isn’t weird him and Allison totally wanna fuck? Cause I don’t find it too weird? But part of me feels like I should... idunno
2) Diego: YUMMY sorry your hetero girlfriend died :/ wanna be into dudes now? And CAN THEY GIVE HIM A FUCKING FIGHT SCENE?????? Also, loved his dumbass just crashing through the glass door! So funny!
3) Allison: She’s... she’s boring... I... she is the type to get her hands dirty. So she wouldn’t be running around and doing dumb shit like Diego and Five. But like... ugh. I just wish her personal character flaw was relevant to her character arc. Because I don’t feel like she has a personal character arc. Her character feels only to exist within relation to the other characters. I can’t define her by realizing something about her self. I just wanna she her do her powers... I understand why she doesn’t. But ugh. I mean, let’s see for episode 8 now.
4) Klaus: these writers are giving Robert Sheehan ALL the good story material. All these beautiful acting scenes. These character scenarios. His arc. Like WOW they do not pull the stops when it comes to crafting his story. Him, Five, and Hazel/Cha-Cha are my faves to cut to from episode to episode. Can’t wait to see what his greater potential would be beyond his powers. I mean... it’s Robert fucking Sheehan. You always want more of him and so I want more and more of Klaus! But ugh why does Dave have to be the most basic looking white boy. I... ugh no. Really? Just straight mayo.
5) Five: BEST OF THE WHOLE FAMILY. ACTUALLY DOES COOL SHIT. HOLY SHIT IS THIS LITTLE KID PLAYING THE FUCK OUT OF THAT PART. LET’S FUCKING STOP THE END OF THE WORLD.
6)Ben:...............? Can’t give him a story? Really? He’s just to serve as a side character to Klaus? Even though his death is what caused the group to break apart in the first place??? LIKE?????? Y’all haven’t seen each other in years BECAUSE of him and y’all don’t talk about it? Mourn? Don’t give me “he died years ago” I mean I still feel like that wound would open up upon being together again. That reminder of why you decided not to associate with these people anymore. Like....... okay
7) Vanya: I feel like the whole “you have a secret power” thing is kinda obvious? Idunno. But it also got spoiled for me on tumblr so thanks for that >.> But like yeah, I’m enjoying what they are doing with her storyline. It seems that Harold may do something to her to cause the apocalypse to happen. Sooooo.... can’t wait to see that unfold!!
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wanna one as types of boyfriends
yoon jisung:
the walking meme. everything he does is fucking hilarious. you literally have 2000 photos of him on your phone which could be edited into potential memes. there’s never a sad/boring day in your life. he’s actually always super excited about everything and you always sometimes question his mental age but you still think it’s really cute. always makes stupid puns and jokes to make you laugh (that sometimes even results to self degradation). all that makes him happy is seeing you smile, so he makes that his daily goal. likes to send you weird pictures of him using different filters on snapchat that you obviously screenshot. he’s super funny and your whole family loves him, especially the kids. “auntie when are you getting married to uncle jisung?” “soon” “um jisung wtf stop lying to the kids” “i never said i was lying”
ha sungwoon:
the tea sipper. he has the dirt on everyone, and i mean everyone. knows what’s going on in your life, your neighbor’s life, and your second cousin’s uncle’s grandfather’s life. your dates consist of gossiping with the neighborhood aunties every week at the book club he organized. wants to know how your day is and knows you so well that he can tell when your feeling down. sings to make you feel better, and if that doesn’t make you smile, he’ll probably pull out the big guns and start dancing to girl’s day something. doesn’t mind embarrassing himself if it makes you happy :’). doesn’t like it when you call him cute bc he’s “manly not cute”. tries to fight other people when they talk shit about you. talks a lot!!! like when you’re trying to catch some z’s, all he does is talk about how your neighbor’s husband is cheating on her with her sister??? “omg don’t tell anyone but jisoo’s husband is cheating on her with her own sister” “wtf how do you know?? did you stalk her husband again??” “no way, i was throwing away the trash and i saw them?? coincidentally??”
hwang minhyun:
the perfectionist. a little ocd and always needs everything to be super clean and organized. he told you that he had perfect attendance in school and always had straight a’s. his skin is perfect, his visuals are perfect, and his voice is perfect. sometimes you feel like he’s too good for you, but then you remember how much of an awkward loser he is in real life. texts you the most romantic things, but can’t say it in person to you. you like to tease him a lot for being an awkward antisocial person. very easily embarrassed person. not a big pda person. blushes a lot. doesn’t know how to convey his feelings into words or actions, but it’s okay bc you know he’s trying hard. he looks like a cold tsundere but sike he’s a soft mochi on the inside. smiles a lot more now bc “you make me happy i guess”.
ong seongwoo:
the prankster. he loves messing around with you and pissing you off. one time he put blue dye into your body wash and you came out of the shower looking like a smurf. you guys end up having prank wars and once you even super glued his feet into his shoes. when he’s not thinking of ingenious plans to prank you, he’s actually a really sweet boyfriend. sometimes he takes you out on spontaneous dates to that fancy restaurant across town to make up an excuse to see you wear a beautiful dress. but he loves taking you on midnight rides. like he’ll drive you in silence as you enjoy the night sky and talk to you about random things and let you rant about your inner thoughts. “stop staring at me ong!! focus on the road” “you’re just too beautiful. you distracted me”
kim jaehwan:
the musician. he confessed to you in broad daylight while playing the guitar and singing a song written for you. you guys were sitting on a bench in the city and he randomly whips out his guitar and starts singing. a crowd gathers around you eventually, and they cheer when you accept his confession. he likes to write songs in the middle of the night, so you’ll probably wake up at 3 AM and hear him playing random chords on the piano and writing lyrics in the dark. he writes songs thinking about you and likes to sing to you when you have trouble sleeping. also super extra!! likes to boast about things that he can’t do like karate and playing soccer. he told you that he used to play soccer in middle school, but when you actually took him out to play he said “yeah i played soccer. i played fifa” “ugh i hate you so much right now”
kang daniel:
the gamer. he’s a huge fucking loser, and he loves playing league and overwatch and basically every game ever. tried to teach you how to play league once but you never understood anything, so he ended up carrying the team and winning. spends 95% of his time indoors, but he also likes to cuddle with you when he’s gaming. makes you sit on his lap while he wraps his arms around you and rests his chin on your head when he plays. likes taking you to comicon or any other nerdy convention. but it’s endearing to see him so excited about cosplayers. “cosplay with me next year” “lol how about a no”
park jihoon:
the prince. on top of his handsome looks and dancing skills, he was also born with a silver spoon in his mouth. buys you everything you’ve ever wanted and then some. but you’re not interested in materialism ok yes you are but you’re more interested in him. so he doesn’t really understand love?? like he’s always been loved by his parents but he tries his hardest to convey his feelings for you without extravagant gifts. like this is the first time someone told him that they didn’t want a new car and he doesn’t understand why you don’t want a mercedes benz but it’s your loss?? he takes you to nice dates at super expensive high end restaurants while you assure him that getting a take-away pizza is always fine too. wears gucci and givenchy and saint laurent and tries to buy you clothes from there too but one dress is worth more than your life??? he likes to sleep on your shoulder while you stroke his hair. really cute relationship full of $$$. if you need a sugar daddy you know who to call. “you want a new car?” “wtf no i want a new boyfriend” “>:((((”
park woojin:
the shy turned wild one. yeah he was really shy when you first met but now he wildin. you tried taking him to a family party once but he was getting too into his dancing and ended up grinding the floor. what happened to the shy bean that couldn’t look you in the eye?? sometimes he’s still really shy around people he just met, and he kind of attaches himself to you. but dancing really makes him let everything go, and he tries to teach you choreographies to your favorite songs. taught you how to dance to red velvet and exo and rap to okey dokey. dates consists of dance lessons and chilling at home watching smtm together. bet milk tea on who’s going to make it to the finals. “yo it’s gonna be nucksal” “oh hell no i’m betting on hangzoo” “wow it’s only bc you like zico & dean more smh i thought you loved me”
bae jinyoung:
the nerd that turned hot. you known him since elementary school but boy did he glow up in high school. the last thing you remember was him being that smart nerd that never talked, but now he has a whole army of girls chasing after him. outside appearance may have changed but he’s still a nerd. dates consists of chilling at home and watching the latest episode of the anime y’all like while cuddling. takes you to animecon where you cringe at the weebs but where he enjoys every moment of it. likes taking you to manga and anime stores. dreams of going to japan with you. also likes to buy you cute couple charms for your phone. “i bought you the touka charm bc you’re the touka to my kaneki” “you’re such a fucking weeb lmao but sasaki is better”
lee daehwi:
the foreign swagger. yeah he lived in america for 4 years, that’s why he’s here man. just kidding, he’s a super adorable boyfriend that sometimes mixes up his languages when he’s flustered. super caring and always frets over you. nags you a lot when you get sick. “i told you not to go outside without a jacket!” but really good music tastes. makes different spotify playlists for you to listen to when you’re sad or tryna to get turnt. likes shopping dates!! he is your personal fashion designer and buys cute dresses when he thinks you look cute in them. “i thought this color suited you really well, so i bought it!” “um but it says it’s $300″ “oops?”
lai guanlin:
the athlete. he likes every sport but he’s super obsessed with basketball dude. like he’ll take you out to the nearest basketball court to shoot with him even if you can’t make a shot for your life. dw he’ll teach you the proper shooting form and how to dribble. you’ll end up having lots of cute basketball dates and afterward he’ll probably take you out for ice cream. likes to rest his head in your lap as he practices his shooting form laying down. lots of after-practice cuddles. “ew guanlin you’re so sweaty. get off of me” “no i like staying with you like this”
#wanna one#wanna one scenarios#wanna one as#yoon jisung#ha sungwoon#hwang minhyun#ong seongwoo#kang daniel#kim jaehwan#park jihoon#park woojin#bae jinyoung#lee daehwi#lai guanlin#kpop#kpop scenarios#boyfriend au
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Accuracy - Pt 1 (M)
Genre; Hints of smut towards the end~
Length; 1,400+ words
By the grace of god, your mom somehow was able to gift you tickets for Got7′s upcoming fanmeet.
The instant she handed them to, flashing you a proud smile, “Happy birthday, sweetie.” She lovingly cooed as you nearly broke down. Words couldn’t just simply express how happy you were.
You remember just being utterly astonished about how good the seat she was able to get was; second row from the stage.
“Mom are you serious?” You breathlessly replied, choking up as you staring down at the ticket. “I can’t take it, this must’ve costed a fortune.”
Your mom just stared at you, her huge grin staying on her face as she cherished the look on your face.
“Baby, please don’t worry about the price-” She calmly began, pulling you into one of her warm embraces; rubbing up and down your back as you threw your arms around her, “-I know you haven’t really ever gotten gifts on your birthday, so I just really wanted to get you something I knew you’d remember for the rest of your life.”
Tears trickled down your cheeks, puddling on her shoulder as you shook your head in disbelief, “Thank you so much, I love you mom-” You shakily replied, “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”
A week had passed since then, and today was finally the day you would be able to see them in person.
Your heart raced the entire time you were in line; the entire time you walked through the convention center, and the entire time you sat there- waiting for them to coming out on stage.
When they finally walked out, everyone let out an enthusiastic scream as well as calling out their biases name every few seconds.
Once everyone called down, you pulled out your DSLR in hopes of capturing some photos of each of the guys for you Tumblr; and of course some videos of them being the huge goof balls they were.
As the fanmeet progress, y’all finally got to the q&a part they usually do before ending it all with a hi-touch.
“So do any of you have questions for us?” Mark asked, gripping the mic tightly as he held it just below his mouth.
A girl sitting in the row in front of you raised her hand, waving it frantically in hope of being the one picked amongst the sea of fangirls.
The boys looked around for a bit before finally settling on her, “What’s your question, love?” Mark sweetly asked as one of the staff members rushed down the isle, handing her a mic.
Putting the mic below your lips, she cleared her throat slightly, “Um-” She began as he nerves began to get the best of her, “How- How do you feel about tumblr blogs that are dedicated to you guys or that write stuff about y’all?”
Your face flushed a bright pink as you realized that you were one of those blogs, fuck my life- did she really have to ask that?
You looked directly at the other boys who seemed to be looking your way and whispering to one another- the red hue on your cheeks intensified the moment you turned your attention back to Mark; his eyes locked with yours and a smug half smirk painted across his face the moment he realized he had your attention.
Continuing his eye contact with you, the fucker licked those plump lips of his- your thighs automatically pressed together as he finally decided to answer the question, “Well, I don’t mind them- we’ve actually went on a couple of them and read some of the things they’ve posted when we’re bored.”
His answer made the girls in the crowd practically squeal in unison; but not you. You stood there still completely shook about the eye contact with Mark to think about anything else,
‘Maybe he was looking passed me or it’s just one of those things they do to attract their fans more?’ You repeatedly told yourself as the boys continued answering some of their fans questions- well that is until you looked over to Yugyeom and Jinyoung; both men looked at you curiously.
When they realized you were looking back at them, Yugyeom just flashed you a soft grin as his cheeks turned a bright pink before finally turning away; Jinyoung though, he stayed standing there boldly staring back at you with this pompous smirk sprawled across his face as if he knew they already owned you.
The fanmeet finally ended; people were leaving their seats as the staff escorted them out.
Just as you stood from your seat, looking through all the pictures and short clips you were able to get- you ran into pictures of the boys you had accidentally snapped when their eyes were completely fixated on you. The one you seemed to focus the most on was Mark, just the darkness of his eyes and that sly smirk of his had you wet between your legs; the boy was literally sex incarnate.
Your mind began to wander so much that you didn’t even notice one of the staff members standing in front of you until he tapped your shoulder, “Excuse me, Miss. Y/n, correct?” He shyly asked.
Immediately, you snapped right out of your thoughts and back into reality, “Oh yes, that’s me-” You replied, letting your camera hang from your neck again as you looked up at him, “Can I help you?”
“Just follow me, ma’am.” He replied, turning around immediately. Walking down the isle.
‘Oh fuck..’ You silently huffed as you rushed to follow him, you automatically suspected you were going to get your camera confiscated or told off for taking pictures- ya know something along the lines of that.
“Uh, sir, may I ask where you’re taking me?” You curiously asked as the two of you entered a large, dimly lit room backstage.
Pulling a walkie talkie from his belt, he said something the lines of “She’s here, do I leave now?”
The person on the other line just replied with a simple, “Yes, leave now, we’ll take over from here.”
As the man left with out saying another word, you anxiously gulped as you looked around the nearly unfurnished room; the only thing in sight was a large, black couch.
Walking over to it, you took a seat and patiently waited for whatever else was to come next- it was all you really could do after all.
Moments later, the door to the secluded room opened; you automatically assumed it was one of the staff members, “Why was I brought here?” You immediately rambled, “I was giving no expla-” You couldn’t even finish your sentence as soon as your eyes laid on who walked in. Your voice was caught in your throat as you looked up at them.
“Oh shit I-”
The boys giggled at your suddenly shyness, “What?” Mark chuckled, running his fingers through is messy hair, “Why are you so shy now, y/n?”
Your face turned bright red, your chest tightened, and your breathing hitched as you felt their eyes burning into you, “How- How do you know my name?” You finally were able to mutter.
“Well-” Jaebum suddenly cut in, tilting his slightly as he stared down at you; smirking slightly, “Tumblr, of course, silly girl.”
Oh fuck..
“Look I- I’m sorry, I-” You stuttered in reply completely unable to , turning your gaze away from them. Your anxiety completely washing over you as they strutted over to you- less than a foot away from you, practically surrounding you as you sat timidly sat there.
Jackson stepped closer to you, practically hovering over you as he allowed his fingers to gently run through your hair. You felt his hand gently trail down your face, cupping your cheek in his hand- gently forcing your gaze up at him.
“There’s nothing to be sorry about, y/n..” He cooed, his eyes fixated on your’s as Jinyoung smoothly placed himself next to you.
You felt Jinyoung’s hand tendering rubbing your side as his arm snaked around your waist; roughly gripping your hip every so often. “We enjoy your stories about us, sweet girl..” He purred, pressing his pillow-y lips against your shoulder.
Bambam swiftly moved next to his hyung, hungrily staring down at you the entire time, “You’re actually one of our favorite blogs.” He teased, tracing his lower lip with his thumb, “You’re a really good writer, you know that?”
Before you could even process everything that was going on; before you could even find the words to say, Youngjae crouched down in front of you; his fingertips delicately grazed your thigh, sending chills throughout your body as he drew little x’s and o’s against your skin.
“We really, really enjoy them, but-” He smoothly spoke, biting his plush lower lip; peering up at you through his heavy lidded eyes. “-there are somethings you got wrong, so we just wanted to meet you..” A mischievous half grin painted on his angelic face as he practically undressed you with his eyes. “And ya know.. help you with your accuracy.”
To be continued~ Maybe <3
#got7#got7 smut#got7 scenarios#got7 mark#got7 yugyeom#got7 youngjae#got7 bambam#got7 jaebum#got7 jinyoung#got7 jackson#got7 mark smut#got7 yugyeom smut#got7 youngjae smut#got7 bambam smut#got7 jaebum smut#got7 jinyoung smut#thot7#mark tuan#choi youngjae#kim yugyeom#kunipmook bhuwakul#bambam#im jaebum#park jinyoung#jackson wang
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