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lisalosingstreak · 4 months

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Not good enough for AO3 so thought I’d post it here.

THINGS I HATE

By Wednesday Addams age 5

I will add to this list as I find new things I hate.

I REALLT HATE:

The way colours hurt my eyes and my skin

People who call me weird.

Those horrible boys who killed my dearest Nero

That stupid teacher who called my family horrible names.

Those boring other kids at school who only care about cartoons and stupid toys and don’t like books and sitting quietly.

Those girls who made fun of my new black dress my grandmamma made me.

Those older kids who tried to chase me away from the library.

My new brother. I hate him a lot. He’s stupid.

This new school I have to go to where the kids have different names but who still won’t be my friends and still say horrible things about my family.

That bully who can’t catch me and says my family is weird but my mother and father love each other very much and love me. He’s probably jealous cos he doesn’t have that.

This new school again. The same subjects I already know about, the colours and noise and stupid students who are all thick. They think they are unique but they all just follow the same stupid trends like sheep. I hate the school and I hate them.

Mobile phones. I examined one and they seem to make people even stupider, which I didn’t think was possible but it’s very true. Nothing is better than a letter to communicate or a library in which to learn.

Another new school. Same idiots, different day.

Stupid kids talking about “making out” with each other. Why would anyone want to kiss some other boy? How disgusting. I don’t know how my parents do it.

I really hate bullies and even though I hate my brother I hate the boys who locked him up more.

Nevermore. I hate it. Away from my room where I was comfortable and had my favourite things around me. I can’t believe I have to go to yet another school.

Enid Sinclair. I really hate her, everything a riot of colours and insane chatter. Stupidly decorated room too I have to somehow share.

Tyler and his weak willed personality. Why won’t he leave me alone.

Xavier - what a loser. He has wealth but looks down on the poor and helpless. He doesn’t deserve it.

Bianca. She beat me at fencing. I do not like to be made the look second best. I hate her.

All the outcasts here. Apart from Eugene who has cool interests and isn’t afraid to be himself.

I hate the way Enid smiles at me even when I am mean to her.

The way Enid makes these weird bats in my stomach fly around whenever I see her.

I really hated when she took the red duffel bag and left me all alone so she couldn’t annoy me.

I hate that Enid made me fall in love with her with her oh so perfect smile and her support and saving my life.

I really did not like how soft and warm Enid’s lips were when we first kissed on the long walk in the woods during that first date - which I also hated.

The way Enid surprised me when she asked me to marry her. I do not like surprises but like a stupid lovestruck idiot I still said yes.

The the way our wedding is so over the top and colourful and crazy. I am sure my imbecilic family were overjoyed.

The way Enid makes me feel at night. I like to be cold and uncomfortable but she has forced me to cuddle up to her which makes we warm and relaxed and I don’t get my lovely nightmares now.

The way I cried when our daughter Vega was born.

The way Enid has forced me into wanting only to be a housewife and make sure she is happy everyday.

The way Enid is so good to me even when I try and annoy her. I hate that.

How Enid changed me against my will and made me content with a wife and daughter who mean the world to me. Who does that?

I really hated the way I cried when Enid passed away in my arms after her illness, our aged bodies pressed together and our grey hair entangled together as they were every night since our wedding day. her eyes losing none of that awful sparkle even to the last moment.

And most of all I hated the way I didn’t hate any of it. In fact I loved every moment with her.

#wenclair #wlw love #wlw post #enid sinclair #wednesday x enid #fluff #emma myers #wednesday #wenclair fanart

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elficially-done-with-life · 1 month

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A Quiet Afternoon

Pairing: Celegorm x reader

Summary: You think about Celegorm's return and you marriage to him while you spend a quiet afternoon together.

A/N: Since Celegorm is married to the Reader in here he did not try to get Luthien to marry him (since elves can only marry and fall in love once, Finwë was from what I understood the only exception), he still betrayed her trust and kidnapped her, though. Just for understanding and context.

Hope you enjoy it!

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Tyelkormo's head layed in your lap and he breathed in and out calmly. The sun fell on his silver-coloured hair and made it shine.

It had been so incredibly long since you had seen him so relaxed. The last time had certainly been before he had left for Middle-earth with his father and brothers. Back then, when your beloved had been torn away from you.

When Tyelko had come back, he hadn't wanted to talk to you because he had been so incredibly ashamed of his actions and regretted them that he was convinced you wouldn't want him back.

You had been angry. You had been angry for many years, but over time it had diminished, because through the marriage bond you two had, you could feel his longing for you and his growing despair. You could feel his mental state getting worse and worse and how some days he woke up disorientated, not knowing what to do with himself.

Of course you didn't forgive him for abandoning you or for all the atrocities he had committed in Middle-earth. All the kinslayings, the kidnapping of Luthien and so much more. He had to bear responsibility for it all, and yet you still loved him.

You had lost all contact with him through the marrige bond when he died. You went to Nerdanel that same day and you cried together until the early hours of the morning.

That's why you knew exactly when Tyelko had returned. Suddenly you felt his presence, clearer and closer than you had in a long time. His fëa no longer seemed so broken, but as if someone had tried to mend it. But it was still not healed and whole and you doubted that it ever would be again. To much had happend.

You didn't hear from him for weeks until you bumped into him on the street. He had been looking at some flowers by the side of the road, completely lost in thought, and only noticed your presence when you had already seen him. He later told you that these flowers didn't exist in Middle-earth and that he was really shocked to see them again. That it had reminded him of so many things that once had been.

That day, without giving it a second thought, you had wrapped your arms around Tyelkormo's neck and held him tightly.

Somehow you had expected him to laugh and playfully say: "Did you miss me?" At least he would have done that back when everything had been okay.

But he had started to cry.

He had apologised to you, got down on his knees in front of you and told you not to hate him, even if you would want to go your separate ways from now on. You had felt through the marriage bond that he didn't think he would survive if he knew you hated him.

So you had also got down on your knees and stroked his cheeks softly. Feeling his skin on yours again had been a feeling so great you weren't able to describe it. Tyelko had practically leaned into your touch, which made you wonder how long it had been since anyone had touched him with so much love.

That same day he had moved back in with you, but it was different than it had been before.

Normally Tyelko slept like a rock at home (not in the forest, there he was always on high alert) but he woke up several times a night from his nightmares, shivering all over and seeking your warmth. He often whispered something like: "I let them die." Or "Luthien trusted me... I betrayed her trust." Or he would cry for Curufin and Carnistir.

He was still up before you every morning.

Every day he gave you a flower and did as much as he could around the house until you woke up.

He was also, and you couldn't think of a better word for it, shy.

Actually, Tyelko had always had a certain self-confidence, even if he had always hidden some insecurities underneath, which he had revealed to you at some point. But now he always avoided your gaze when you looked him straight in the eye. He was also much quieter than usual and apologised more often.

When you slept with each other, he always started crying. The first time you panicked, but he later confessed that that was because he is so overwhelmed that you really want him still and to feel your body and fëa so close again. To know that you still want to give him love.

Today you had walked through a wooded area behind your house to a small hill with lots of wildflowers and some large willows. You had loved going here back then a lot.

Last night, Tyelko's nightmares had become particularly bad. He hadn't been able to sleep a wink the whole night after and was quite emotionally exhausted.

His fingers had been trembling with fatigue all day, which was why he had accidentally dropped a glass. At first you thought everything was fine, but half an hour later you found him crying quietly in the garden. He had felt so confused again, as if he didn't know what to do with his sadness.

So you had taken his hand and you had come here.

And now he was lying asleep on your lap as you gently stroked his hair.

He let out a soft whimper and you had to stifle a giggle. Tyelko had opened his eyes briefly and looked directly into the sun. At that moment, he made an expression that you had often seen on him in the years back then.

And then you knew that no matter what happened, he was your Tyelkormo and you would find a way to help him heal as much as possible.

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#celegorm x reader #tolkien x reader #x reader #soft celegorm #tolkien #elves x reader #silmarillion x reader #silmarillion #fluff #silm x reader #sappy #sad #hopeful ending #healing

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hellabigsimp · 2 years

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Companionship | Bucky Barnes x Fem!reader

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Summary: Bucky doesn’t need a companion but when he sees that leaflet he must do something about the wrongs that have been committed to that poor cat.

Warnings: angst, I’m pretty sure there’s fluff (you might need to squint) it’s pretty happy overall though, depressed Bucky makes us sad, mentions of blood and murder (it’s quite brief)

A/N: please just enjoy my own ramblings of what it would be like if Bucky went to a rescue centre and adopted a cat. I think it’s too cute. Really. I haven’t beta read it so mistakes are probably in there, sorry!!

Masterlist

The therapist said it would be a good idea for Bucky to get a companion, whatever that meant. Bucky didn’t need anyone. He didn’t need company, no matter how long the therapist badgered him about it.

Friends would leave eventually.

No, Bucky didn’t need that pain. Not again. He would most likely see his friend age and then pass and where would he be? Still alive. Bucky didn’t think it was worth it.

Sam however, thought it was a great idea. Of course he and the therapist would agree, it was like it was their life mission to make his life hell.

Newsflash, his life was already hell.

He still woke up to nightmares and was haunted by the darkness that was his past. He still struggled sometimes, waking up and thinking he was back in the labs at Hydra. It always took a couple of minutes to realise he wasn’t back there, the hum of city traffic and the babbling sounds of chatter always eased the heavy feeling in his chest after he woke up.

Sam has tried to understand him, tried to make an effort, but Bucky didn’t want the effort wasted on him. Didn’t want Sam to see past the wall he had built around himself.

So Bucky wasn’t sure how he ended up here. How he ended up standing in front of the animal shelter on a late Monday morning.

Sam had come over the day before with a handful of leaflets and research regarding companionship and whatever else Sam thought might be useful. Bucky had decidedly thrown them all away once Sam had left after promising to browse them.

He hadn’t.

But of course, one had missed the bin and landed on the floor. Bucky had picked it up staring at the brightly coloured leaflet.

It was the worst advertisement he had ever seen. It was a leaflet for a rescue centre and it had decided to dress up the animals as the Avengers. But what surprised him the most was there, in the background was this little fluff ball of a cat dressed in a familiar leather jacket and what looked to be a fake metal arm made out of a toilet roll tube on it front leg.

It was him in cat form.

It was horrendous. The cat looked like it hated it. Bucky hated it too.

Yet it was also rather endearing to a degree. Bucky scoffed and had chucked the leaflet on the kitchen counter, walking away and putting it out of his head.

So why, if he had walked away, was he standing outside the very same rescue centre, leaflet in his clenched had.

He really couldn’t tell you. Maybe arm was short circuiting his brain, it was the only reasonable explanation.

His therapist would probably babble on about some shit regarding him being lonely and depressed and this was him seeking out help.

Bucky would disagree. This was him finding out who put that poor cat into that god awful costume. Because no one deserved that.

He shoved the leaflet in his jacket pocket, walking up the steps to the centre, pushing open the door. It was light and airy inside, pictures of cats, dogs and other animals were plastered all over the walls. E could hear the sound of barking and meowing coming from behind a set of closed doors.

At the desk was a young man. He looked up with a massive smile. “Welcome to ——-! How can I help you sir?”

Bucky wasn’t sure what to say. How could he say that he needed to talk to whoever put that poor cat into that costume.

He didn’t want to know if the cat was up for adoption. Definitely not.

“Sir?”

“Oh right,” Bucky cleared his throat. “Who did dressed that white cat in that outfit?”

He had pulled out the leaflet, pointing at the white fur ball. The man behind the desk was a little confused, his eyes wide before breaking into another blinding grin.

“Oh isn’t she adorable? Y/n put together the photoshoot for the centre. Would you like to meet her?”

Bucky nods, putting the leaflet back in his pocket. “Thanks.”

The man calls back for Y/n. It didn’t take long for the doors to open and in you walk. You were dressed in jeans and the company top, the logo on the top right of it.

“Hi, I heard I was needed?” You look between the receptionist, Mark and the man who you instantly recognised.

Now, everyone knew who the Avengers were, they saved the world. But not many people looked at the other who helped. But you were always one to look deeper, it what made you love your job so much, helping those who were overlooked.

James ‘Bucky’ Barnes was one of them. You knew about his past but you also knew how he wasn’t that man anymore. And here he was, standing in your rescue centre.

You smiled kindly at Bucky.

Bucky was confused. This was the woman who did the advertising? He wasn’t sure what he expected but he didn’t expect this. Now, Bucky was once a bit of a flirt, he knew that. He could appreciate a woman, Bucky wasn’t blind. He was also confused as to why his heart rate increased slightly, his palm becoming a little sweaty.

He felt like a little school boy again.

He couldn’t be attracted to you. He had felt attracted to anyone in years. He didn’t think he deserved it. Yes, you were beautiful, any man or woman would be stupid to say you weren’t. But you were sunshine, Bucky could already tell.

He was a rain cloud, you were sunshine. This was not good.

His therapist would be thrilled to know that someone actually got his stone heart to beat again. Bucky was not bringing this up in the next session.

“This lovely gentleman wanted to Alpine and the person who dressed her up for the advert.”

You kind of wanted to drop dead on the spot. Never could you believe that your silly advertisement to get people to come and adopt pets would bring this man to you. The photographer only wanted the main Avengers but you pointed out that there were many other underrated hero’s that saved the world, you wanted to showcase them all.

So you picked one of the grumpiest cats you had and her in the costume. Now, with the man standing in front of you. You realised that he oddly had the same personality as the cat, both a little aloof and gloomy. But with a hidden side to them.

Bucky wanted to leave. You had been staring at him, eyeing him up. He wasn’t sure if you were checking him out or not. It had been decades since he had flirted with someone. He was definitely rusty in that area.

What was he even thinking? Flirting with someone…

If he didn’t have a therapist already, he would’ve wakes himself out of this centre and to the nearest one.

“Well, let me take you through to Alpine, she’s a little grumpy and doesn’t always take well to new people but I think she is secretly a sweetheart.”

You hold open the doors, waiting for Bucky to walk through. It took a few seconds and you swore he was going to bolt, but he walked towards you and through the doors, albeit a little stiff.

“So, are you looking to adopt?”

Bucky didn’t want to say yes. But he was here now, he couldn’t very well leave. He had sort of forgotten what he came here for all together. He answers with a simple shrug.

“Well, I am sure you’ll love Alpine. I’m glad you liked the advertisement.”

“I didn’t,” Bucky says instantly. You look a little shocked at how erupt he was, a small disappointment sound coming from you. Bucky quickly holds up his hands. “Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. It’s a good idea, the costumes were cool, awesome even. I just had one issue, why did you put the winter soldier in there? It’s supposed to be hero’s.”

Bucky was rambling, he didn’t even speak this much to his therapist, he was a one word kind of guy. Yes. No. Sometimes. Maybe. Those were his words, but here he was word vomiting.

You didn’t realise that he didn’t think of himself as a hero, and that broke your heart. “But it’s not the winter soldier I put on there. It’s Bucky Barnes. He’s a hero too, he fought for this world just like all the other hero’s, so I’m pretty sure that makes him a hero too. By default.”

Bucky wasn’t expecting that answer. After the incident at the UN a couple of years ago, the Winter Soldier became a household name, everyone knew him. He obviously looked different now, long gone was the long hair and silver arm. He even hid the arm now in leather jackets and gloves. He couldn’t leave without them.

But here this woman was, praising him. Calling him a hero. It was everything his past self would’ve wanted. Steve and him always wanted to be hero’s, saving people. He was beyond thrilled that Steve had finally gotten to be the heroic the world loved him.

But Bucky, his heroism was covered in bloodshed and guilt. No matter how many people he saved, it could never make up for what he had done. For what Hydra had done.

You could feel the mood sour, but luckily you were right outside Alpines cage. “Why don’t you got take a seat in this room over here and I’ll bring her over.”

Bucky looked at where you were pointing, there was an open door that lead to a small room, where there were a two chairs and sofa. Bucky sat down on the sofa, his back rigid.

It didn’t take long to coax Alpine out with some treats. You picked her up, bringing her into the room, pulling the door close behind you. “This is Alpine, she’s two years old, not sure what breed unfortunately. But you can see that she is definitely fluffy. She’s was found by some train tracks, in a cardboard box, unfortunately we had to amputate her front right leg as it had been badly broken at some point but she does well and can get around fine. We have tried her with prosthetics but she didn’t enjoy it much.”

Why was this cat so relatable? Bucky couldn’t understand it. He watched as the feline walked around, barely struggling with missing it front leg. It paused as it came to his large black boots, sniffing it once before looking up at him.

The cats grey eyes were large and baring into his soul. Bucky for once wanted to look away, but he didn’t. He found the feline oddly endearing.

Without warning the cat suddenly leapt up onto his lap, walking around on it before settling down, resting its head on his knee. Buckys heart stopped, his breathing halted in his throat as he held his hands up.

“You can stroke her,” you say, watching the whole ordeal. “I’m surprised she’s so comfortable with you. But go ahead, pet her. You don’t hurt her.”

It’s like you knew the right thing to say to Bucky. Bucky was always scared at times that he would hurt someone with his arm. It was a heavy reminder sometimes.

Cautiously, he brought down his hand and petted the felines head. The cat let out a sudden purr, nuzzling up against his hand.

Bucky was a goner.

He continued to pet the cats head, watching as it continued to muzzle closer to him. It has been a long time since someone, human or animal had shown him affection like this. He missed it.

“Would you like the paperwork? It won’t take too long to fill out, then Alpine can be yours to take home.”

There were times in this job you realised that pets chose the owner just as much as the owner chose the pet. You had never seen a case so obvious as this.

Bucky looks up at you and nods. You could see the look of sadness but also hope on his face. This was a man starved for affection but guilty about wanting it.

You left the room and came back with the paperwork. “Let’s get this filled out for you then Bucky.”

You catch his sudden frown. “What’s wrong?”

“I never told you my name,” he said.

“Oh,” you rub the back of your neck. “Sorry. I knew who you were the instant I saw you. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I knew, I just feel you would’ve told me if you wanted to.”

Bucky was a little shocked. You knew all along and you still called him a hero. You still were okay with being alone with him, he didn’t even detect any signs of fear from you. In fact now he really thought about it, your heart rate increased when you first saw him. You were smiling at him.

Maybe Bucky was blind after all, because he was pretty sure you liked him. “You called me a hero.”

You weren’t expecting that. “Well yeah, of course. You are a hero. You should get more recognition for what you did, it’s a shame really.”

Bucky still couldn’t believe it. Didn’t really want to believe it, but how could he not when you were sitting in front of him, telling him he was a hero and that he deserves recognition?

He didn’t think you could get any more attractive.

“Let fill out this paperwork shall we?”

It didn’t take long to fill out the paperwork. When it came to filling out birthdate and job title, you both had a bit of a laugh but overall it wasn’t a bad experience. Bucky quite enjoyed talking to you. It had been a little while since he had had such a go conversation.

Probably since Steve.

But for once Bucky enjoyed the company and wanted more. It was hard to admit but he actually wanted to spend more time with you. But there was still that niggling doubt in the back of his head, saying he wasn’t worth it. That he would only hurt her.

So he bit his tongue and left with his paper and somehow, the fuzzy white fur ball in a carrier, along with a list of all the items he needed to buy.

He was sitting on a bench, in the head by park, Alpine in her carrier, napping. He wasn’t sure what the hell he was gonna do with a cat. He had also noticed that you had packed in the costume as well. Much to his displeasure. It really was a bad costume.

“I guess together we at least have both of our arms,” Bucky says, before groaning. He heard a small meow and noticed Alpine staring at him. “I know that was really bad.”

He brought up the list of things you had written out for him and noticed a little note at the bottom of the page. His eyes widen slightly, his heart rate increasing. He couldn’t even help the small smile that settled in his lips. Not before the dreaded panic settled in.

He didn’t hesitate to click on Sams name on his phone. It was only a few rings before he picked up. “And what do I owe the pleasure of my favourite half metal man calling me?”

Bucky scoffs. “I’m your only half metal man friend.”

“So you’re admitting it? We are past partners and now friends. Good to hear.”

Bucky groaned, rubbing his hand down his face. “I’m going to hang up now.”

“Oh come on Barnes, what’s up?”

“Well,” Bucky looked down at the white fur ball and then at the note at the bottom of the page he was holding. “I now have a cat and somehow managed to get a woman’s number and a date.”

Bucky could hear Sam choke on whatever he was drinking. “You what?”

“Sam, what the hell do I do?”

“With the cat or the date?”

Bucky contemplates before replying. “Both I guess?”

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woofety · 8 months

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I was tagged by @valentinaonthemoon (thank you! 😊)

RULES: bold the ones that are true & tag 10 people to do it.

APPEARANCE

blonde hair // I prefer loose clothing to tight clothing // I have one or more piercings // I have at least one tattoo // I have dyed or highlighted my hair // I have gotten plastic surgery // I have or had braces // I sunburn easily // I have freckles // I paint my nails // I typically wear makeup // I don’t often smile // I am pleased with how I look // I prefer Nike to Adidas // I wear baseball hats backwards

-- so yeah, if we consider any piercing I have the "boring" one per ear as well, I'm kind of entertaining the idea of doing a second piercing on both ears near the ones already open but my lobes are rather small, so I don't know, we'll see // I've been dyeing my hair for some years now, since nature didn't give me red hair I took that matter into my own han... well no, actually my hairdresser's hands 😁 (I've never dyed my hair on my own, I guess it would be cheaper but I'm afraid I would make a disaster)! I don't even go entirely red, I just do meshes on top of my head and keep my natural colour behind and on the sides (I carry short hair), which is dark brown... and grey/white, because nature did decide to give me plenty of white hair even if I'm not even 35 yet, yay! 😅 I think I have to thank genetics from my father's side for it but whatever, I don't really mind much, it's not really the reason why I dye my hair anyway // if by "braces" you mean that infernal stuff used by dentists to trap your teeth and having a nightmare inside your mouth, yeah, sadly I had them, and I HATED it!!! And I know I definitely should have kept them more, and on both dental arches (I only wore it on the upper one) because my teeth are far from perfect, but whatever, since they finally freed me from that instrument of torture I was sure I never wanted to have anything to do with it again! // ah, the "I am pleased with how I look"... coming from someone who has been struggling with her body (especially her weight) practically all her life, you know what? I am arriving to a point in which I'm more sure of myself when I say that yes, despite everything I am pleased with how I look after all, not because I was born or grew up to be particularly beautiful, at least... canonically speaking? What is considered canonical anyway? I believe beauty is very subjective and personal in terms of appreciation, and I can only speak according to my own standards of "beauty", which would make me say I'm not really beautiful, but I've been working on myself, I've been dealing with my ups and downs, my satisfaction and my guilt for whatever I have been doing (or not doing) to take care of me, and I'm finding that with time more moments came in which I rooted for and appreciated myself and my appearance more than the ones in which I thought it wasn't worth it and I wasn't doing enough and even if I did, MY enough would never be enough anyway... maybe it was the effort and sacrifices I put myself through, maybe I'm learning to be kinder and less judgemental with the way I criticize what I (or don't) say or do, but I can see I'm doing better, and I know that it doesn't sound forced when I say it and that I want to continue to walk this path! --

HOBBIES & TALENTS

I play a sport // I can play an instrument // I am artistic // I know more than one language // I have won a trophy in some sort of competition // I can cook or bake without a recipe // I know how to swim // I enjoy writing // I can do origami // I prefer movies to tv shows // I can execute a perfect somersault // I enjoy singing // I could survive in the wild on my own // I have read a new book series this year // I enjoy spending time with friends // I travel during work or school breaks // I can do a handstand

-- I don't know if I can say that I am artistic, does occasionally making jewellery and accessories and a bit of calligraphy makes me so? 🤷And in all truth I'm not yet able to make them from scratch, so I generally follow others' tutorials, maybe tweaking stuff here and there, but whatever 😅 // So far I know, aside from my mother tongue - Italian - I know English and a bit of Spanish... well, not nearly enough to have a proper conversation I've been studying for not such a long time but I'm starting to understand more the written language and catching up a bit more on the spoken one, but the latter is way harder atm, as with all languages, I suppose... Unfortunately my Babbel subscription (I started learning Spanish there) has expired and prices have increased since last year, so for now I put it on hold, even if I finished the main courses and was going through the ones to expand my vocabulary, and tbh I had half a mind, if I reactivated my subscription, to start learning another language, which would be Portuguese 😊, but I'm not really keen on paying for two languages at the moment, idk... // Well, when I say I can cook without a recipe, let's say they are rather basic dishes and that I do it with recipes I've done over and over, because otherwise I'm rather "maniacal" in following a recipe, and that is true especially with baking, that I really can't do from scratch - maybe it's also because even the baking recipes I do more frequently, like muffins or pancakes, I don't do them often, in any case I would be too scared of forgetting or messing up stuff, so I always need to have written instructions... I would hate to fuck them up, both for my sake and my mother's, since we are the ones enjoying them! 😋 // When I say I enjoy singing, I'm not saying I am good at it, although once some years ago, when i was really in the mood (because I usually sing on my own, I'm still not that comfortable with doing it with other people around) and I started singing along with friends in a car, a friend of mine who a rather trained ear for music said I had a good voice... Anyway, I give my best performances at home with nobody around: I believe my go to songs would be Abba's, or my childhood's anime theme songs (the ones sung in Italian, if you've ever heard of Cristina D'Avena or Giorgio Vanni 😝), but I've even dared to try some Nightwish or Evanescence, even when I'm working out, can you imagine the result (especially when I work out, while concentrating on the lyrics distracts me from the effort of doing an exercise, there is that tiny aspect of keep my breath, which I definitely can't use for both singing and exercising, and sometimes even laughing at myself for even trying and failing both 😂) --

RELATIONSHIPS

I am in a relationship // I have been single for over a year // I have a crush // I have a best friend who I’ve known for ten years // my parents are together // I have dated my best friend // I am adopted // my crush has confessed to me // I have a long distance relationship // I am an only child // I give advice to my friends// I have made an online friend // I met up with someone I have met online

-- I really don't know if during the years I've made some friends online (which would have happened only here on Tumblr, since I didn't meddle with other social networks), there were few people with whom I talked I did consider friends, but I've been so awful at keeping relationships going with my inconstancy and disappearances that I'm aware it's rather difficult to keep up with me and I don't know if those people ever considered me even close to a friend 😔 --

AESTHETICS

I have heard the ocean in a conch shell // I have watched the sun rise // I enjoy rainy days // I have slept under the stars // I meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me // I enjoy the smell of the beach // I know what snow tastes like // I listen to music to fall asleep // I enjoy thunderstorms // I enjoy cloud watching // I have attended a bonfire // I pay close attention to colors // I find mystery in the ocean // I enjoy hiking on nature paths // Summer is my favorite season

-- I'm probably illuding myself but I think I've heard the ocean in a conch shell? I like to think I did, at least 🐚 // something I would like to do is sleeping under the stars and watching the sun rise, especially the second, not that I had many opportunities to do either but I guess what really prevented me so far has been that I'm too lazy and enjoy comfort too much to sleep outside or wake up at ungody hours ah ehm 😅 // the sound of chirping calms me... mh, not really at not even 5 am when I'd like to sleep but it wakes me up, it doesn't 😆 I mean I like it, but I believe not even the birds are chill most of the time (not the ones outside my window for sure), so why would their "chattering" make me calm?! 😝 // I admit I've been enjoying rainy days with moderation more recently, because we have some problems at home with electricity we still haven't figured out (there is likely an exposed cable outside the house which, when there is rain - probably also directed by wind - makes electricity go off) and it's rather annoying since we don't know what exactly causes it yet; not to mention that recently with heavy rain there have been some pretty serious floods in the region and in areas near where we live which were disastrous for some people, towns and infrastructures - they were surely exceptional events but they made me more distrustful towards rain; also yeah, well, surely rain is less bothersome when one's cozy at home and not outside! Let's just say that I mainly enjoy light rain, or better just cloudy days, ok?! // for all reasons above, I couldn't bold the fact that I enjoy thunderstorms, in fact they terrify me, but that was even before recent events tbh // when I was little, while watching the clouds I often enjoyed spnding time to guess what familiar shape they took, it's a fairly common game, one that I sometimes do even now 😊 // I'm not really sure what "paying attention to colours" means, but I do keep an eye on them and their combination, not only while dressing (I'm not a fashionista at all, but I still pay a bit of attention coordinating my outfits, with the little I have), Idk I just really like colours! --

MISCELLANEOUS

I can fall asleep in a moving vehicle // I am the mom friend // I live by a certain quote // I like the smell of sharpies // I am involved in extracurricular activities // I enjoy Mexican food // I can drive a stick shift // I believe in true love // I make up scenarios to fall asleep // I sing in the shower // I wish I lived in a video game // I have a canopy above my bed // I am multiracial // I am a redhead // I own at least 3 cats

-- as long as I feel I'm safe knowing that someone I know is with me and is vigilant, like traveling with me on a train, yep, I believe I can fall asleep in a moving vehicle, I did it in the past after all, in a car with my family even more so, but if I'm on my own there's no chance, I need to be alert at all times, I'd be to anxious for someone to take advantage of my being asleep // I don't think I may have eaten enough of Mexican food to judge it fairly, but so far I liked what I ate, and I read some recipes that seem delicious even if I haven't tried them // if "stick shift" is indeed a car, eh, theoretically I can, but I almost never do it, because the road (mostly other people driving) drives me nuts andupsets me... it's something I'm aware I have to work on, because now I fortunately don't have much need of it, but being able to drive is sadly important, and as much as I don't like it I'll have to learn to be more comfortable with it, sigh // alas, don't ask me how or why, despite all in this world that wants to prove me otherwise and my character and better sense, somehow I still believe in true love, whatever that means (I think how it is perceived is s also rather individual, I have my own definition of it, or how it should be, and I don't consider it exclusive to romantic dynamics btw - friendship is a form of love as well and it can be as powerful and meaningful and worthy of being considered "true love" too, and I will die on that hill // given that my making up scenarios is not relegated just to bedtime, as much as I'd like for them to making me feel more cozy and relaxed and help me distracting from the day to day problems that I can't possibly solve while lying in bed so that my brain would just shut the fuck up and leave me be for few hours please and thank you 🙄, the thing is sometimes I find an idea or scenario that gets me excited enough to keep me wide awake, which is rather counter-productive if you ask me 😅 // I don't actually sing in the shower, not at least while I shower, or at least i do it very rarely, but I occasionally like to sing in my bathroom and shower stall because i like the acoustics in there 😎 --

I'm not tagging anyone (not even sure if people I'd tag would remember me 😅), but if anyone wants to give this a try and let me know feel free to do it!

#tag game #about me #thank you for tagging me!#it's been lovely doing this to take my mind off today as it's not been a very good one so far #my pms is kicking in hard this month and I don't feel very well #and I feel even worse for not having done any of the tasks I had to do today #these days are horrible 😖 but it is what it is #and luckily what I had to do wasn't mandatory or urgent and could be postponed #so this was good for distracting myself a bit from the pain and frustration as well #oh and sorry for commenting so much on this - idk I just felt like it 🤷😅#btw now you can edit previously written tags whoa that's cool!#that won't stop me from not realizing my typing mistakes but it's an improvement in case I do 😝#it certainly compensates for whatever that tumblr live is lol #I still have to discover whatever has been going on on this place while I wasn't active

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scribble-dribble-writes · 11 months

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To save a mockingbird (3)

<<<Prev Next>>>

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Plot: Hux faces trial and is assigned back to the woman who had brought him.

Warnings: none

Word count: 1300

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Chapter 3

Sleep evaded her quickly just like how dawn had crept up so soon. His face remained scattered in her dreams. His case was to be handled first, before getting into the other crisis that needed attention but it was also because General Leia wanted to have less of a crowd when dealing with Hux. She knew the stir it was causing already, a lot of the inhabitants on this base had their families or homes in the Republic which was destroyed when Starkiller Base had fired upon those planets. But Marjorie wasn’t sure why she had been requested to be there as well. So she dragged her feet away from bed reluctantly and prepared herself for the meeting.

The cell was cool enough that with all the exhaustion he had been through, Hux had managed to fall asleep. It was how it had been always, no dreams, no nightmares, much closer to how a droid would power down. He didn’t use the small mattress and rather chose the floor. It was hard and uncomfortable just like his quarters on the fleet, so it eased him. But as he laid there with an arm over his head to shield his eyes from the light, he heard the scuffling of feet and silent giggles. Opening his eyes to let them adjust to sunlight, he caught sight of the figure or rather figures that stood outside his cell. One out of those faces was rather very easy to remember mostly because Hux could never forget the humiliation he faced after this pilot’s little stunt.

“Look everyone, General Hugs is awake.”, Poe commented as he folded his arms. Hux didn’t like to be greeted with that bright orange jumpsuit, that imagining to burn it had given him motivation to get up.

“As your assigned officer, I order you to get yourself to your hearing.”, the pilot went on but Hux couldn’t get past the fact of all the people in the world he had to be assigned to the most annoying one.

“Hearing?”, Hux questioned unsure of what all this was, the protocols here were simple yet different that what he was used to.

“You know, to treat you according to your crimes. A lot of us here aren’t exactly happy with you. Especially since you blew up The Republic.”, the pilot jabbered on and it wasn’t making his headache any better.

His dinner wasn’t sufficient from yesterday and his body attuned to his regular scheduled craved a cup of caf along with a proper meal. He squinted at the sunlight again, it was being on a planet that was resetting his rhythm. He wanted the endless night and the voice in his mind was pestering him to search for the spy from yesterday so he could enjoy a few seconds of peace.

“Fine.”, he conceded to Poe. “Where is the hearing?”, Hux asked and got up to smooth down his jumpsuit.

But Poe commented on the colour of the suit which led them to bicker and that was all they did, till they got to the main gathering, like siblings who hated each other and had found endless ways to find faults or tease.

“Poe Dameron.”, was all Hux heard that got the pilot to shut up. Only then did he notice the slightly older woman, whose features looked quite familiar.

“General Leia.”, Poe’s demeanor changed to one of respect and Hux could understand that she was a woman of power.

“Shall we begin?”, she asked but now her eyes were on him. It felt uneasy, like she too looked upon him with a concern he didn’t quite deserve or want. So he looked away, feeling like a boy who had made a mistake and he knew what happened to such boys.

“Please, take to the stand.”, Leia instructed him and he complied. He knew when to respect or who to win over and those with power were always the first on his list.

A small council had gathered and put forth their opinions on what had to be done with him.

Torture him for more information, one put forward.

Punish him, said a few others

Make him pay for the Republic, he heard the angry voices and as much as he wanted to stand here, to face it, to prove it to himself that he could, it wasn’t doing him any good.

He felt the stress crawl up his neck, old haunts reminding him that he was not still free of them. His fingers tightened around the wooden balustrade.

"We are not the First Order.", the General put down her foot and his eyes shot to her.

One part anger, the other relief. Of course this was nothing like the order and a part of him was grateful it wasn’t. He wanted to survive and this place termed with a weakness, this harbouring of hope.

“I have a solution in mind.”, she continued, making Hux curious.

“In the days of the rebellion, we had special agents who went by the name of Fulcrum, agents who were in some cases had defected from the Empire’s rule.”, she explained and it had struck him. He had not defected, he traded information in the hopes of bringing Kylo down.

But if he only had to pretend to be on their side till he had enough freedom to move about, it was a way out.

“I believe General Hux could be of such service. It wouldn’t be any different to him for he has been the one supplying us with information on the First Order’s strategies and plans.”, Leia revealed and it drew out a neutral response, the scowls and jeers targeted at him, faded.

“Him!”, Poe stood up and Hux grinned at him. Watching the pilot grapple with the truth that all this while the spy he had hailed was actually Hux, did in fact feel good.

“But trust has to be earned.”, he heard next and frowned, certain that he was going to be put back in that cell again.

“You will be tagged, to monitor your movement and be placed within the boundary of this base, such that you cannot leave on missions until you are proven to be true in your new task.”, Leia instructed and it eased him again, so a perimeter but to roam free within? He could use it to his advantage. He would have to work his way around to be free of the electronic tag and take off.

He nodded in agreement, he had faced worse, so much more worser. If he had survived his father, he could survive anything.

But that was until he saw her, her presence making him want to squint his eyes as though the sun had found him again.

When Marjorie was put in front of him, she wasn’t pleased. She didn’t want to be around him anymore. Her mission was to bring him here, she had accomplished that. Leia however thought, no, felt she would be much better at bringing him to some reformation rather than Poe. An immense task, she had no interest in figuring out if the General of the First Order had it in him to change.

“He responds well with you than Poe.”, Leia continued and Marjorie huffed. No one can respond well to Poe.

“For how long?”, she questioned, her eyes briefly skimming to him. He had worn the jumpsuit, so he had listened to her. His hands were held together and his eyes were on her, looking with a softness she couldn’t believe he possessed. Just another manipulative trick, she brushed it aside.

His mind however wanted her to say yes.

Say yes. Say yes.

How did Ren do it? To get people to comply to his will?

Maybe he could be sensitive to the force just this once that the fates may bestow him with the pleasure of escaping Poe Dameron’s annoying voice. His constant inner chanting only brought Leia’s attention on him.

“A month.”, Leia instructed and Marjorie tapped her foot.

He wanted to grab her by her shoulders. He could sneak past her, her kindness or goodness will feel good for a day but then he can run off, she would be a means to an end. This had to happen, if she could trick him, he could trick her. It would even the scales and he would have his justice to let her go from his plaguing thoughts.

“Alright.”, she finally conceded. She had monitored him for a few months, thirty rotations is not going to do any harm.

Was it?

Her eyes found his, she wasn’t sure.

#general hux x reader #general hux #armitage hux #hux #hux x reader #star wars fic #star wars #star wars sequel trilogy #star wars sequel fic #star wars sequals #armitage hux x reader #domhnall gleeson

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ashadeapart · 1 year

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You can’t buy minimalism

I hate that so many people are put off of minimalism, thinking it is all about bare white walls and bland, sparse furnishings. This is the shit you see in magazines, full of very specific aesthetics and visual ideals and notably products with the “minimalist” label on, for you to buy. Usually at an embarrassingly large mark-up. This is 100% the opposite of what minimalism is about. What you’re looking at in those magazines and catalogues is a capitalist, elitist hijacking of a real and good and worthwhile way of living.

What minimalism is really about is removing things from your life that suck. Too many potato mashers in the drawer and can’t close it? Give some away, you only need one - and now you can find it! Old outfit you spent too much on but never ended up wearing? That just makes you feel bad when you look at it, sell it or give it away, your mood will thank you. There are so many items in our homes that serve no purpose or actively make us unhappy - that’s what minimalism asks us to prune out. It doesn’t ask you to buy anything. And it doesn’t say don’t buy anything, either. It’s purely about stopping the flow of random shit you don’t need coming into your house, and getting rid of what already snuck in - “free” items you never wanted in the first place, gifts you never liked but felt guilty about giving away, things you bought and changed your mind about, stuff you used to love but don’t need any more. It’s about thinking before committing to a purchase, and in the end just having stuff that’s useful and stuff you love.

There’s no right amount of stuff to have as a minimalist, no colour scheme or aesthetic you have to adhere to - it only needs to be enjoyable and fit your values. You want pink walls and toy ferrets all over the house? Sure, if they make you happy. Me, I have a huge amount of art supplies. I’m not using them all the time, but with ADHD I bounce between hobbies and I love having those things there when I want them. They take up space, but they enable me to do comforting, enjoyable things. If there comes a time I don’t want to do art any more, out they go. I am not beholden to my belongings. They don’t get to own me.

For me personally, minimalism has been so important in managing some of the more challenging aspects of my ADHD and ASD. Every item in my home is something I have to clean and organise and maintain (and fucking remember to maintain), so imagine the executive dysfunction nightmare it would be for me to have a bunch of shit in my house I don’t need, and don’t even like. The sheer stress of putting myself through all those arduous, tedious tasks I can’t focus on, that make me exhausted and unhappy... why would I do that to myself if I don’t have to?! So I don’t have the stuff. Then there’s the sensory aspect of it, all that clutter is almost painful to see, all those manmade objects scattered around, screaming at me for attention all day and night. I can’t even. Not to mention I’m clumsy as fuck, so why do I want stuff in walkways or piles of shit on tables? I’m gonna be stubbing my toe and knocking things on the floor all day. Out it goes! I’m happier with less stuff. I’m less stressed with less stuff. I’m more functional with less stuff. It’s that simple.

#minimalism #adhd #asd #screw capitalism

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dimiyuri · 3 months

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dancing with a stranger | m!yurileth

"Dance for me."

It's sudden, completely out of the blue. A favour that Yuri would decline normally. And it’s not a favour that Yuri would ever have expected Byleth to ask out of him, either. The two had found one another all alone in the Goddess Tower late at night during the Garreg Mach Winter Ball, and Byleth had broken the silence with a simple request.

“Excuse me?” Yuri asks, crossing his arms as he leans against the balcony of the outer deck in the tower.

Yuri knows that he looks so beautiful tonight, and he even wore a pretty lavender coloured dress for the dance despite not even attending, let alone even dancing. His hair is braided and he even applied a darker shade of purple eye shadow, which really makes his eyes really stand out.

And yet, in the crowd of a hundred people dancing so elegantly in the reception hall, Byleth shines the brightest. He's so popular with the crowd that all three of the house leaders had asked him for a dance. Byleth had accepted, but after a while, he retreated to the Goddess Tower to clear his mind.

Until he caught Yuri all alone, with the full moon illuminating his beautiful features and his gorgeous smile. Byleth extends a hand out for Yuri to reach for. "I should rephrase that," he says softly, gazing into the other male's lavender hues. "Dance with me, Yuri."

Yuri stares at Byleth, and although his expression is bare and empty, there's still some flicker of love in those pretty green eyes. "I can't dance," Yuri says, regardless. "You already know that."

Yuri wanted to decline from the get go. He hates singing when others are around, but to dance in front of Byleth? And to dance with Byleth? It feels like a nightmare. And yet at the same time, it feels like a dream come true.

"I can't dance either," Byleth replies with a half-smile. This is the first time Yuri has ever seen the taller male smile, and that smile was for him, and him only. Byleth blinks slowly, urging. "That makes two of us. But I want to dance with you. Right here."

In the back of Yuri’s mind he can hear a little voice shouting ‘no!’ repetitively, but his heart yearns for Byleth. He wants Byleth to himself, and he has the opportunity to have him. Maybe even take him with a kiss. The thought is exhilarating. Maybe after the dance, Byleth will reward him with a kiss.

Yuri goes for it.

"Don't expect me to keep up. I'm horrible at this." Yuri steps closer to the taller male, taking his large, calloused hand into his own. They begin slowly, holding each other's hands as Yuri follows Byleth's lead, cautious not to screw up. He doesn't know why he's doing this. Maybe it's for the current special occasion.

In actuality, it's just for Byleth .

Byleth shakes his head as he twirls Yuri around, the shorter male’s dress twirling along with his elegant movement. "You're fine. I'm nervous, too."

They stay up here for a while, practising maneuvers and mimicking what they had both witnessed during the ball. Girls would dance with boys, and the boys would lead, while the girls would follow. The learner follows the teacher.

In this case, Yuri follows Byleth.

Yuri stares at his feet as he steps forward, then steps back. But Byleth keeps staring at Yuri. He claims he’s not an expert either, and yet here he is, teaching Yuri something that isn't combat; something that doesn't involve bloodshed or death or deception. He's teaching Yuri one of the most human arts out there.

“You're not bad,” Byleth says as he spins Yuri again, admiring the way his dress flows with his movement. “Look at me.”

Yuri says nothing and does just that, his eyes meeting Byleth's own hues again. His nerves wash away when Byleth even smiles a little. Yuri can't help but smile in return. They're so close and yet, for some painful reason, Yuri feels too far out of Byleth’s reach. Despite the way Byleth guides him in his footwork. Despite the way he entwines his fingers with Yuri’s. Despite the close, intimate proximity the two share.

Yuri wants to kiss him so badly. Just once, and never again after that.

The night feels like it could last forever by the way Byleth ends the dance, arms wrapped around Yuri’s waist. When they finish, both are left breathless, speechless as Yuri's leaning backwards, caught by Byleth's strong and warm embrace. Byleth is the first to speak.

"Thank you."

He helps Yuri stand back upwards. Yuri feels his soul crushing. He can't believe he’d just wasted his time, revealing a secret to the man he loves and cherishes so deeply, only to be met with those two simple words. Yuri had just done one of the very few things he hates the most, all for the love of his life.

And he's crushed.

"Thank you?" the lavender haired male echoes. "That's… that’s it?" He stares in disbelief, but tries to hide his hurting.

Byleth nods, his smile disappearing, just like the spark of love in his eyes.

"That's it."

He turns to leave the Goddess Tower, and as Yuri watches the other man disappear down the stairs and out of his sight, Yuri begins to feel his heart sinking.

#felix's writing #fanfiction #writeblr #fire emblem fanfiction #fire emblem three houses #fe3h #three houses #fire emblem fanfic #m!yurileth #yurileth #yuri leclerc #byleth eisner #male byleth

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getouswh0re · 3 years

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Howdy!! Could I request Yandere Gojo and Geto from jjk, with a special-grade sorcerer reader? Ty in advance, I really like your writing!✨

an; thank you for the love ˊᗜˋ💕 here are some drabbles for them separately, hope you liked it :3

warnings; yandere, gore, blood, unhealthy relationships, obsessive behaviour. do not condone such actions in real life, and please kindly read at your own discretion.

THE night was quiet, almost serene, totally at odds with the glowering menace in Geto’s eyes. Gone was the subtle gentleness in those inky slits you had grown to adore; in its place, inscrutable darkness bore holes into the back of your skull as you shuddered beneath the curse user’s glare.

It was still Geto in the flesh: the same face, unique hairstyle and robes he’d wear just like any other day. Yet it was no longer the special-grade sorcerer whom you once knew and loved. You never knew what caused such a drastic change in him; all you wished for, was for the old Geto to return, hoping that all of this was none other than another nightmare.

“Suguru? W-What are you doing at my door? It’s already late, you should be taking some rest ...” A hint of dismay — maybe sadness, ghosted his expression when the raven picked up the quivers in your tone. Nonetheless, a gentle smile adorns his face, emerging from the shadows to reveal himself as the raven explained himself.

“Why? Can’t I come and visit you?” He cocked his head, a playful smirk evident. Geto never ceased to make your heart flutter; perhaps it was his flirtatious nature and mellow personality that drew you towards him, but even after being one of his closest friends for a long time, at times you felt like you couldn’t understand him at all, with this being one of the occurrences.

You chortled, about to invite the raven into your apartment when warning bells started to ring incessantly in your head, warning you that there was something awry about him once you caught a glimpse at his clothes imbrued with crimson splatters.

“Sugu ... what is that on your clothes?”

“Oh this? Satoru splashed me with red paint, it’s not much of a big deal.” You knew he was lying, instantly picking up the revolting metallic stench from the stains. Dread filled your mind while you staggered back, keeping a distance from the male who gave you a perplexed look in return.

“You and I know a smell like this isn’t red paint ...” Trying to be as calm as you could, you retracted a step backwards with every stride Geto took. “Be honest with me. What on earth have you done?”

“Sharp as ever, y/n.” A condescending look took over as Geto finally revealed his true colours. “The world needs to change. All these monkeys are the reasons why curses exist. They can’t even control their cursed energy properly, and we sorcerers have to battle with death every time a curse poses as a threat to them. Their ignorance is revolting in its core, and I believe to make the world a better place, it would be better off to remove all of them out of sight. Don’t you agree —“

“What the fuck are you thinking?” Unable to withhold your seething rage, you snapped at the curse user. “This isn’t what sorcerers should do! What you are doing is of no difference from a brutal murderer Geto! I can’t fucking believe you!”

“How can you think of me like they y/n? That hurts my heart you know.”

Before you could even scream, he was already inches away, blood-stained hands caressing your cheeks tenderly as if you were made of fragile glass. “I just want to make life easier, there’s no need for us to put our lives at stake every time we exorcise curses. Right? We could be enjoying peaceful days together, free from the dangers of this world ...”

“Stop! Your delusions are sick, this isn’t you at all Geto! I don’t know what is wrong with your brain, but it’s never too late to turn back —“

Suddenly, your vision darkened — your consciousness sinking into a bottomless void as the raven carried you in a bridal style, the two of you vanishing into the tenebrosity of the night.

“And I thought you were the only one who’d understand me ... love.” He shook his head in disapproval, but the disappointment in his eyes were eventually replaced with glee as Geto stared at your limp figurine in his arms.

“But don’t worry, what needs to be done will be done. For our sake, for our future together.”

EVERYTHING would always be uglier up close.

At first glance, one might find Gojo Satoru a perfect man: with talent, looks and wealth all in one package. Men envy the greatest sorcerer of all time, and women grovel at his feet, desperate for a sprinkle of the man’s attention. Despite living the life everyone dreams to be in, the heir of the Gojo clan couldn’t care less about how the world spins around his axis. For the sorcerer has his eyes set on something much more worthy of his time and effort.

He is a man of determination, willing to achieve his goals with whatever means possible — even resorting to dirtying his own hands. It is such an irony that underneath the charming façade, such a disgusting soul exists.

“For the last time Satoru, I am not interested in dating anybody.” Heaving an exasperated sigh, you politely shoved the lavish presents piling up at your front door back into the man’s arms.

“I feel really flattered that you have feelings for me, I truly do. But I’m sure you know as sorcerers, we fight with death every day. If there is any regret that I’d dread to have ... it would be to leave everything I love behind. And I would rather die alone than leave my partner suffering on their own.”

“That’s what I love about you y/n.”

A loving sigh slipping from his tongue, Gojo took a step forward, cupping your face with utter delicacy. Yet you felt more than revolted by his sudden intimacy, struggling to writhe away from his tightening grip.

“You are always so kind, so considerate ... something I cannot find in anyone else other than you. But think about it sweetheart! You and I are both special-grade sorcerers, but I can protect you from the curses — at the same time giving you the moon and stars. We could move in together, you wouldn’t even need to work anymore. Why make your life harder when I could simply provide for you? Seriously —”

“S-Satoru, I hate to tell you this but you’re pushing the boundaries right now.” Trying to reason with the sorcerer, you spoke with a harsher tone, praying that Gojo would get the hint and respect your choices. “You’re out of your mind! And why would you force

Nonetheless, your words fell on deaf ears.

“Now this is not how you should react when someone offers you their heart and soul.” The light in his cerulean eyes darkened, cyan hues glimmering beneath the penumbra of nightfall. “And I know you are a smart young woman, so you’d come to realise what is in your best interest. I really don’t want to do this to you y/n; but if you are trying to push me away from your life again, I would have to keep you to my side — the hard way.”

With that, he pulled down his blindfold.

You were aware of how dangerous Infinite Void was; still, experiencing it first-hand was one hell of a terrifying experience. Fleeting images flashed across your vision as if all of this was in fastforward motion, depicting your fate in the past along with future. As certain blurred vestiges showed up, your heart sank in indescribable despair; moments of you and none other than Gojo were portrayed — blood splattered across the labyrinth of streets in Tokyo, your trembling hands intertwined with his, platinum bands wrapped around both of your ring fingers, adorable kids that were exact replicas of both of you. At this point, you could feel the will to fight back dwindling to fickle embers.

No matter what you did, Gojo would always find his way back to you.

Even if he had to tear the world apart with his hands.

#🖤 requests #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #yandere jujutsu kaisen #yandere jjk #yandere jujutsu kaisen x reader #yandere jjk x reader #yandere geto #yandere geto x reader #yandere geto suguru #yandere gojo #yandere gojo satoru #yandere gojo x reader #reader insert #x reader #yandere oneshots #yandere drabbles #yandere imagines

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the-winter-spider · 3 years

Text

Element: Part 2

Characters: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Hints around possible suicide attempt, angst

A/N: Got this out a lot faster than i thought, once again i didnt read thru it lol so please excuse if there is any errors!

Word count: 2.1k

Part one

****

Bucky reached into the water pulling you out with his right arm, he let a gasp out when the temperature of the water touched his skin it was ice cold sending goosebumps all throughout his body. You were fully clothed, limp, cold to the touch, skin pale, lips blue. Not like he was used to, this wasn't the you he grew to love. You were radiant, your eyes were the most beautiful colour they reminded him of the night sky the way they shined like the stars, your lips were plump and filled with colour, looking at them now he almost couldn’t remember if they were more red or pink, he could feel his palms getting clammy, panic was running through him, when was the last time he saw the sparkle in your eyes? You were his sun, you were warmth, in this moment he felt regret he never got to kiss your lips.

He set you gently down on the tiled floor, you laid there lifeless, Steve was already kneeling down getting ready to start chest compressions, anything to bring you back, to Bucky, to him, to the team.

“No no no” Bucky mumbled.

“Vitals?” Tony frantically asked the AI

“No heartbeat detected”

Bucky didn’t know but tears were streaming down his face, so much regret was running through his veins, he didn't try hard enough and he knew that now but he didn't want to push you, he hated when Steve or Sam tried to push him. He wanted to hold you more and not like this, he wanted to feel life in your body, not this, all Bucky had ever known was death after being used by HYDRA for all those years and when they were finally out his head, everyone he knew before HYDRA were dead, except Steve of course but you brought life back into the super soldier something he was almost positive would never happened and Bucky was barely ever wrong but with you it felt so right.

The water surrounding them slowly started to evaporate, they realized it wasn’t coming from the tap in the tub, you made all the water and the fact it was disappearing, panic set in. “Where's medical?!” Tony frantically shouted.

“They are on there way” FRIDAY announced

Bucky couldn’t wait; he waited his whole life and it was a long one to finally be free and find someone like you, it felt like hours had passed since he busted down your door but he knew it had only been seconds, if not minutes. He scooped you up off the floor holding you in his arms as tightly as he could, he felt like they were wasting time sitting here doing what felt like the bare minimum when he knew the kind of medicine Tony had, he was a Stark after all and from being in the war he knew every second counted, he had a small hope that if he started running towards the medic wing your chances would be better rather than waiting around. He couldn’t take his eyes off of you fearing that this would be one of the last times he saw you and he wasn't prepared for that. You were so limp in his arms, water no longer dripping off of you. As he passed the rest of the team, all he could hear was gasps. He met the medical team half way, setting you on the stretcher before they ran off with you to med bay, Tony and Bruce trailing close behind them.

Bucky was frozen in place, he couldn’t feel anything, he felt like he was in a dream, a bad one, not like the nightmares he was used to this felt much worse, he kept hoping that he would wake up and leave his room to find you in the kitchen eating your morning cereal with Steve and you would give him the most beautiful smile he’s ever seen in all his years, the way he felt your eyes light up and the sun got a little brighter when you were near him, you thought he didn’t notice but Bucky noticed everything with you, or he thought he did. He doesn't even know when he stopped noticing things with you, or when you started to ignore the team, especially him. Part of him didn't even want to think about how long ago it started happening, how long you were truly alone.

Steve placed his hand on his best friends shoulder giving in a gentle squeeze “they’re gonna do everything in their power to get her back Buck”

—

Bucky couldn’t stop but replaying the last couple weeks or was it months? In his mind, did you do this on purpose? Was it an accident? Why did you do it? He remembers the first time he decided not to ask you to come with them. Sam, Steve, Natasha and him were going to try out this new chinese restaurant as they were coming up to your door, he was hoping for a miracle and you would open the door already ready to come with them and it would sort of be like a date but not really but he would pretend it was, but it didn't happen and he wasn’t sure how much more his heart could take of being shot down all the time so he decided he wasn't going to ask you tonight, when they finally reached your door, Steve stopped “Buck, aren't you going to ask y/n if she wants to come?”

Bucky's eyes went to your door, he doesn't remember the last time he was in your room, laying in your bed with you talking about anything and everything. He felt a pain in his chest and he mumbled out “No point” shrugging his shoulders leaving the 3 of his friends behind him making his way to the elevator. He heard them laughing, probably at him he felt pathetic he was a super soldier for christ sake but he couldn’t muster up all the strength in the world to ask you on a real date just him and you, or to admit his ever growing feelings for you, so he did what he knew best, kept quiet and to himself, he just wish he knew then he was hurting you in the process too, not just himself.

—

Everyone was patiently waiting in the common room just outside med bay. Bucky couldn't take his attention away from the plum tree just outside the window, when you grew it for him he swore his heart skipped a beat, that was one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for him, he still remembers that day like it only just happened. He had just left the gym and was heading back to his room when he saw you laying down in front of his door reading whatever book you were reading, you must have been deep into the book because you didn't notice him standing directly above you, he whispered “Good book?” making you jump and drop the book on your face, he couldn’t help but chuckle, he threw his towel over his shoulder offering you a hand up.

“It was a good book till i lost my place” You huffed

“Sorry doll” he smiled, something he only ever did around you, the real kind of smile, the kind that made his cheeks hurts not the fake kind he did around everyone else, he watched you dust yourself off and run your fingers through your hair, fixing yourself up, he didn't understand why you already looked perfect “So what do i owe the pleasure of having a beautiful girl like you waiting on a guy like me?”

Giggling “Well i have something for you, a gift” you blushed, he watched you rock back and forth on your feet, he was getting that feeling in his stomach again he wasn't sure what it was but it was warm, something he didn't think he deserved to feel again let it actually happening but here it was, with you.

He quickly showered and changed, when he stepped out of the bathroom you hadn’t moved you were still sitting on the edge of his bed, flipping through your book, trying to figure out where you left off, when you felt his presence you looked up, your eyes meeting his “You ready to go Buck?”

He nodded making his way to the door “after you doll”

It was silent when the two of you were making your way wherever you were leading him, he didn't ask any questions he would follow you anywhere, anytime no questions asked. You made your way outside to a tree he doesnt think he seen before, because it was the only tree there, he watched you start moving your hands with elegance, he was and always has been in complete awe of your abilities, with a doubt in his mind you were the most amazing person to have ever come from HYDRA. He had no idea what the gift was but he knew he would love it, whatever it was because it was from you, but when Bucky saw something start growing on the tree his eyes went wide “How did you know?”

“I overheard you talking to Steve about them the other day, how you missed them and the ones from the store didn't taste the same” You spoke softly, folding your hands behind your back looking down shyly. Bucky made his way to the plum tree picking one before he made his way over to you, he used his right arm to put a strand of hair behind your ear, his fingertips lightly touching your cheek while doing so it sent shivers down your spine and butterflies in your stomach, you lifted your gaze to meet his. He took your hand in his, giving it a light squeeze “this is my favourite gift”.

“The tree or that one plum?” you giggled, pointing at the perfect plum in his hand.

He took a moment before responding to you, really taking everything in, the view, his feelings because he was feeling a lot of them, some new some old, the emotions he could see in your eyes, how perfect you truly were but also how right it felt having your hand in his, his tongue ran over his lips “You” he breathed out, you kept your gaze on him for a few more seconds before you felt heat rising to your cheeks, looking back down, his thumb rubbing circles on your hand, he wasn't sure if you felt what he was feeling but when a single butterfly landed on the plum in his hand, he knew.

—

Bucky wasn't the best with time, after being in and out of cryo for so long he didn't care to tell time, so he wasn't sure how long he was standing here staring at the window lost in thought till he was finally pulled away from it, he felt Steve come up from behind him, he cleared his throat, placing another hand on his friends shoulder looking out the window to see what Bucky was staring at for the last hour.

“Y’know she grew that for me?”

Steve smiled “I know because you wouldn’t shut up about it” Bucky let out a soft chuckle, turning to face his friend “I messed up Steve”

Steve didn’t say anything he didn’t know what to say and Steve almost always knew what to say but he couldn’t comfort his friend because it was unknown if you were alive or not, he knew you were a fighter but what he saw, you were lifeless, FRIDAY even confirmed there was no heartbeat, he wasn't trying to give his oldest friend false hope, so in the meantime he decided that just being there was enough.

“I don’t understand, she can breathe underwater can't she?” Natasha finally spoke to no one in particular, turning all heads towards her before anyone could respond when the door opened. Tony walked in “She can” all eyes were on him, something he usually loved but it made him feel uneasy today. It was quiet, Tony sat down took off his glasses, he rubbed the bridge of his nose with his fingers before looking Bucky dead in the eye “they found a heart beat, its shallow but its there”

***

TAGS: @majo240820 @vicmc624 @jessyballet @jhiddles03 @mggpleasedontlookhere @smallangryandpink @lilxberry @thisisnotangel @hereforalongtime512 @austynparksandpizza

#bucky barns x y/n #bucky barns x you #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barns x reader #bucky #bucky x female reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes angst

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saphirered · 3 years

Note

We've all seen fics where Caleb's SO dies and gets resurrected, and we seen Caleb accidentally hurting his SO, but what about Caleb accidentially killing his SO? Maybe Reader got burned by one of his fire attacks? The revival's successful, but damn, the angst.

Angst was requested and angst you shall receive. I hope this is to your liking. 😘

Trigger warning for death and grief themes.

Caleb sits on his knees, head bowed, whispering pleas in Zemnian to the gods, the world, to you, your cold hand encased between his own, occasionally pressing a kiss to it in the hopes you’d just wake up. But you’re not going to wake up. Not in the way you would in the morning when you’ve had a particularly late night and Caleb has to drag you out of bed, you being stubborn or pretending to still be asleep so you maybe could convince him to join you for a little more. Not in the way after you got knocked out in a fight, when you sit up and rub your eyes with a grunt like usual. Nothing within his capabilities will wake you up.

So here Caleb sits, begging for it to be a nightmare, some sick and twisted tricks played on his mind but there’s no denying this is real and this is the truth. You’re dead. You’re dead and it’s his fault. You ended up as collateral damage in his reckless attempt to kill the creature. You got stuck in the crossfire of that. He hadn’t realised you were doing so bad already, you even sent him a wink right before when he asked if you were okay. Why did you? Why didn’t you just tell him you weren’t? Why did you lie? Not lie, omitted the truth.

He knew exactly why you did it but that doesn’t make it any easier. You’d known the other’s weren’t doing great and barely holding on already. You were severely outmatched and couldn’t get away from the creature. Not without it chasing after you and running you in an even more perilous situation. Anything Caleb could do would affect anyone close to the creature. With Yasha having dragged Beau out of the fray you were the only one left to hold it at bay while the clerics worked on patching them up, Fjord and Veth offering them cover. You were the final line of defence. At the end of the day you had to keep the clerics alive.

Caleb took a calculated risk. A fireball to send the creature dropping into the ruined depths of Aeor. He had tried to keep you out of the range but wouldn’t have been able to strike the creature without putting you at risk. The spell worked and the creature got hit with full force. It was your attack right before the fireball struck that had send it stumbling, then with the blast, it lost its footing and stumbled off the edge.

But you too, dropped. and when you did, the creature’s tail lashed out, grabbing onto your body, dragging you with it. The creature had hit the platform below in its fall and the impact had made it release you, saving you from the full drop. Caleb had rushed to the edge, fear, pain, anger and guilt riddling his mind thinking he had truly lost you but there you were, bloodied, bruised, broken and burned. Because of him. All because of him. How could he have been so stupid and reckless. When he brought your body back to the others, he wasn’t quick enough. You’d already faded into the cold embrace of the Raven Queen and the clerics had expended their last resources.

So that leaves Caleb here, sitting at your side a day after you died, body preserved by the graces of Caduceus and the Wildmother. The clerics set up their ritual, working around him and you as the others help where they can. Beau and Veth had tried to console him, tell him it wasn’t his fault and if he hadn’t they might all have been dead right now. He appreciates his friends trying but it’s of no use. He already made up his mind and it’s not going to change anything. You died because of him. He murdered you and how is that any different than his actions in the past? How does that make him any different than the lives he’s taken in the clutches of his former mentor? Is there truly no redemption for him? You’d slap him for even thinking that way.

“Mr. Caleb? Why don’t you try talking to them? Persuasion has worked in the past to coax someone back.” Caduceus places a hand on the wizard’s shoulder but it barely registers. Yet the firbolg knows they did not fall upon deaf ears when the whispers stop for just a moment.

“I-. I do not think they’d want to hear from their murderer.” Speaking the words make them so much more painful. By the looks of it, Beau is ready to unleash in a degrading rant about how wrong Caleb is, breaking him apart only build him back up but she’s held at bay by Yasha. This is not the time and place. Caduceus doesn’t claim to know what Caleb’s going through, nor may he be the brightest mind here but he understands and can empathise.

“I know no matter what I say it won’t change your feelings so instead I will offer you this. You owe it to them to try. Not for what happened here but for the countless times they’ve been there for you, have had your back, and for the unconditional love they’ve given you. You owe them to try.” The wizard looks up over his shoulder to the firbolg, pain in his eyes, and the trails of silent tears that have long since run out. Caduceus is right. He owes it to you to save you and right now it is within his power to try. If he doesn’t, if he fails he’ll have condemned you to this fate. If he succeeds with this part, he’ll be able to look into your eyes again. You may never forgive him but he hopes to see you smile, hear your voice even if just once more.

Caleb nods looking back at you, bringing your limp fingers up to his lips and pressing them against your knuckles. He takes in a deep breath and tries to find the right words as Caduceus steps back. What are the right words? He cannot afford to fuck this up. He cannot afford to fail. He must succeed. He must.

“I know I might be the last person you want to hear right now. I want you to know I’m sorry-“ Caleb’s voice cracks as he feels the eyes of the others on him. He brushes some of your hair away from your forehead, running his thumb across your cheek.

“I don’t-uh. I don’t know what to say. I don’t know if I can do this. You’re always here for me during difficult times. You’d put your hand on my cheek and tell me ‘If anyone can do it it’s you, Caleb Widogast. You could move mountains if you set your will to it. Now stop being stubborn before I slap some sense in you.’ but now you’re not here to tell me that. You’ve shown me there’s a world beyond the walls I put up, that there is a light at the end of that tunnel, but now I cannot help but feel the world has grown dull, the walls are caving in, and that light is fading.”

“I have no right, no right to ask you this, but I need you to save my world one more time. So please, I beg of you. Do not leave me to brave this world without you.” The weight of his heart heavy on his conscious. Caleb feels a pressure causing a ringing in his ears. He’s so focussed on you, he cannot take his eyes off you. Not even when the others do their part in the ritual. He realises this pressure is coming from the effects of the spell to bring you back. He holds his breath, not daring to take in oxygen if only to savour the moment, hoping it will not pass, that for just a little longer he can hold on to the hope you’re coming back instead of having that hope crushed by a potential failure.

The pressure fades but nothing happens. Nothing changes. It’s silent as everyone waits for something, anything to happen. That moment alone feels like an eternity of suspense. Caleb finds himself whispering prayers and pleas in Zemnian again, your hand clasped between his own as he squeezes his eyes shut tightly to live through the memories of you, preserve them for the rest of his life just in case because he refuses to forget even a single one of them. He’s so consumed in his own mind he doesn’t notice warmth returning to your fingers. He doesn’t notice your chest beginning to rise and fall. Caleb’s pleas continue.

“Would you mind translating that? I think my brain got a bit scrambled.” Caleb freezes and his eyes open. Your eyes are closed but your brow is furrowed. Furrowed in discomfort. Not sleeping and not void of your usual expressions. Colour has returned to your limbs and face and no longer dulled. Caleb falls silent in disbelief, frozen in place and mind blank.

“Caleb?” You speak his name, peaking through one eye to see the wizard in his disheveled state. You sit up, grunting in pain. Apparently being brought back from the dead isn’t kind on your physical form, not even mentioning the exhaustion weighing on your mind. You could sleep for a couple of hours… or days… or weeks… You could do with a break really. All of you could. You nudge Caleb’s head up by his chin allowing your fingers to slide onto his cheek.

“Blink twice if you need me to get Beauregard to slap you back into reality.” You muster a smile as you brush your thumb over his cheekbone. Caleb doesn’t understand how you’re not recoiling in disgust or lashing back in anger. He doesn’t understand how you can look at him with love and kindness.

“I’m so sorry. Please-“ Caleb goes off in a spur of apologies, begging for your forgiveness.

“Caleb, I love you but you really need to stop. This is a problem for another day.”

“You died. I killed you. How can you even look at me like you do?”

“So what? I died. I’m here now. I got better. Now preferably I’d like to not die again, some things are beyond our control. And if you need some kind of reassurance; Veth killed Cad that one time and he doesn’t hate her.” Veth yells a ‘hey’ in defence while you earn a chuckle from the firbolg. You know Caleb isn’t just going to take your word for it and you’re also not going to make anyone buy you’re totally okay with just dying and being brought back to life because you’re not but you also know that you can’t blame Caleb for being a factor in what happened when you yourself were aware of the risks of the situation you were in. You made your own bet and it didn’t pay off but all your friends are still alive and well, Caleb’s still alive and well and that alone makes it worth the risk you took.

“You have no idea how much I love you.” Caleb breathes as he pulls you into his arms with a gentleness as if you’re made of porcelain, or will fade out of existence if he holds on too tightly.

“I think I have a pretty good estimate but we can compare notes later if you’d prefer.” You pull back enough to look at Caleb’s face, brush aside some of the red strands and softly place your lips on his. It’s not a heated kiss but one filled with emotion and a desperation no less. Neither of you thought you’d get to be in each other’s arms again but here you are despite everything. Maybe your work here isn’t done yet. You still got some asses to kick.

#critical role x reader #critrole x reader #mighty nein x reader #caleb x reader #caleb widogast x reader #critical role #mighty nein

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bestofbucky · 3 years

Note

Imagine the reader tells Bucky she’s in love with him, and dumbass Bucky thinking he’s protecting her from himself tells her that he doesn’t love her back, and they try to still be friends, but a few months later, he sees reader getting REAL close with Loki, and Bucky does NOT like that AT ALL 😭

ROOFTOP.

Pairings: Bucky x Reader, platonic!Loki x Reader

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings: Angst, swearing, happy ending.

A/N: Thank you for this request :) Hope you like it!

Divider by me.

Looking out at the skyline of New York City you sighed. This was your favourite thing about living at the tower. You found yourself coming up to the roof a lot. When you wanted to get away from the constant movement and excitement of your life, you would find a moment of stillness here, you especially loved it at sunset and sunrise.

The rest of the Avengers all knew this was your special place, they wouldn’t bother you when you’re up here because they know how much it helps you. This time is different though. You had asked Bucky to meet you up here at sunset, hoping the environment around you would soothe your nerves. It seemed to be working, but then again Bucky hadn’t arrived yet.

It was as if he heard you thinking about him because not two seconds later, the metal door was opening and he stepped out.

He was wearing grey sweatpants and a white shirt that his muscles were threatening to rip apart. The warm glow off the sun on his skin, making him look ethereal, like a god sent down from the heavens above.

He searched around for you, his eyes finally meeting with yours. His smile grew wider and his eyebrows raised as he made his way over to you. Finally getting to you he pulls you into a hug. You happily accept, breathing in his scent hoping it will calm you like it normally does but it has the opposite effect.

Your mind goes into overdrive and you suddenly regret asking him up here. What if he doesn’t feel the same? What if you misread all the loving touches and subtle glances? What if you confess your feelings and you end up losing him forever?

“Doll?” Bucky's voice draws you out of your head. “Everything ok? You seem tense.”

You look up at him, he has a concerned look on his face. Taking a deep breath you nod.

“I’m fine Bucky, just a little nervous.” You explain but it only seems to confuse him more.

“Nervous for what?” He asks and you suddenly find great interest in the floor. Memories of time you have spent with Bucky come flooding into your mind. Movie nights where you two always sit together, whether there is room for you both or not. Mornings when Bucky will have your favourite breakfast prepared for when you wake up. Sparring together but ending up rolling around the mats in a tickle fight instead of a fist fight. You push it all aside and take a deep breath.

“I asked you up here for a reason.” You tell him. His eyes catch the sunlight and you are mesmerised. You remember the first time you noticed his eye colour. You’d had a nightmare and went to Bucky’s room hoping he could help you. He held you, telling you stories from his childhood, the rhythm of his voice soothing you off to sleep. You had woken up in his arms, feeling safer than ever before. The sunlight streamed in through the windows and when Bucky had opened his eyes, they were striking, you had wondered how you’d never noticed the colour before. It was in that moment you realised you had fallen for Bucky.

Two months later brought you here, in front of Bucky, on the roof, finally having the courage to confess your feelings.

“I asked you up here, to tell you that I love you.” You hold your breath waiting for his response but nothing comes. He stands there, completely silent. You can’t read the expression on his face but it looks close to one of fear.

“Please say something.” Your voice comes out barely above a whisper but you know he heard you. Finally he breaks the silence.

“I’m sorry doll,” he is looking everywhere except you. “I just don’t feel the same.”

Ouch. Like a punch to the gut suddenly all your worst fears seem to have come true. You try hard to stop the tears from forming in your eyes but it’s useless. Bucky still won’t look at you and it’s driving you mad.

“Look at me Bucky.” You try but it is like talking to a wall, he has closed off and there is no getting through to him. You can’t believe it. You don’t believe it. So you try one last time.

“Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t love me.” Your voice is weak from focusing your energy on trying to not cry. This is your attempt at a last resort, hoping he is just scared, that you didn’t misread the situation and he does love you back.

He sighs and looks at you finally. “I don’t love you, not like that. We are friends doll, nothing more.” His once calm blue eyes were now icy and uninviting. You feel like such an idiot for thinking your feelings would be reciprocated. Why would anyone as good as Bucky love someone like you.

You nod finally able to speak, “I think you should go.”

3 Months Later

You haven’t been up to the rooftop since that evening. Every time you tried you felt the same pain in your chest you had felt that day, when he told you he didn’t love you. That day changed you, your walls went up and no one was allowed close enough to try and knock them down.

Bucky tried to stay friends, he would still save you a space for movie night, he would still make your breakfast for you. So you stopped going to movie night, and started getting up earlier than him. It was too painful to have him at such a close distance but still out of reach.

Then, a month ago, Loki came to stay at the tower. You had met him a few times before but they were just passing moments. This time you had bumped into him on one of your ‘I can’t sleep’ walks. He thought it would be funny to get inside your mind. Although he quickly realised it was the opposite. Still, he took it upon himself to cheer you up and help you move on from Bucky.

Apart from when he got inside your head without your permission, you liked spending time with Loki. He is funny and charming and most of the time he helps you get your mind off a certain super soldier.

It’s movie night tonight. Loki told you he was going to save you a seat. Which is why you are currently standing by your door, wondering whether you should go or not. You really miss spending time with everyone, you just don’t know if you are ready to be in close proximity to Bucky.

Fuck it. You would have Loki as your support blanket, you know he would be there for you if anything happened. You took a deep breath and with shaky hands opened the door, making your way to the movie room.

Bucky always made sure he was the first in the movie room on movie night. He held out hope that one day you would decide to join everyone again and when that day came the spot next to him would be saved just for you.

So when he saw you walk through the door and scan the room for a seat he got so excited, this would be the start of your friendship again. This would be the thing to bring you back together and heal the wounds of your broken relationship.

But then your eyes landed on someone that wasn’t him, they brightened the way they used to for him. You made your way over and sat down next to Loki. He immediately wrapped his arm around you pulling you into his side, just like Bucky used to do.

He couldn’t take his eyes off the two of you, he hated how easily Loki could make you laugh, how comfortable you were around him. He hated that Loki was allowed to be near you but he had practically been banished, forced to watch from a distance.

He couldn’t take it any longer, he stood up and stormed out the room, ignoring the calls of his name. Everything Bucky had hoped would happen when he lied and told you he didn’t love you has happened. You are safe, protected from him, happy without him, but it was killing him.

Somehow he found himself on the rooftop. He had been doing that a lot lately, it reminded him of you. The angelic beauty of the New York Skyline. The serenity that allowed his mind moments of calm. It allowed him to get lost in thoughts and visions of you. The only place he could spend time with you was in his head and the rooftop allowed those visions to come easier.

The sound of metal creaking causes his head to shoot towards the now open door where you step out onto the roof. You look around for him, finding him standing by the wall already looking at you.

You walk over and stand next to him, eyes looking ahead at the city that never sleeps. Bucky has to fight the urge to pull you closer, removing the gap between you but it’s too big, too much has happened. Even though you are physically close to him, mentally you are further away than ever.

“I just wanted to make sure you’re alright.” You speak, it’s a sound Bucky knew was a luxury to hear.

“I’m fine doll. Go back and enjoy the movie.” His voice is emotionless but you have missed it nonetheless.

“Why do you do that? Why do you call me doll if we are only friends?” You suddenly feel yourself getting angry, you didn’t misread the situation between you and Bucky, he was the one that led you on.

“Are we even friends?” Bucky laughs but it is still void of any emotion.

“Answer the question.” You growl, showing how serious you are.

“It’s just a nickname.” He brushes off but you still aren’t happy with his answer.

“You don’t call anyone else doll. In fact, you don’t have nicknames like that for anyone. Just me.” You turn to face him but he is still looking ahead.

“I don’t know what you want me to say.” He huffs.

“I want you to tell me the truth.” You are shouting now, you can't help it, you are just so frustrated with him. “I want you to tell me why you call me doll and no one else!” He doesn’t speak so you continue. “I want you to tell me why you stormed out just now!” Still no answer. “I want you to tell me why three months ago you looked me in the eye and lied to me!”

That gets his attention. He turns to you quickly, his eyes wide in shock, scanning your face. “I-I didn’t lie to you.” The same look crosses his face as it did three months ago. That look answers your questions without him even having to speak. He was scared, he probably wanted to protect you. You sigh and go to walk away but he grabs your wrist, turning you back around to face him.

“I didn’t lie to you.” He says again, this time with more conviction. You can’t believe he is still too much of a coward to tell the truth.

“Fuck you Bucky.” You know he is lying to you and you hate him for it. You pull your wrist from his grip and stride over to the door but before you can open it a hand on your shoulder is turning you around. Desperation is clear on Bucky’s face as he hurriedly places his hands on either side of your face and presses his lips to yours. It’s eager and it’s bruising but it’s over all too quickly.

He pulls away, his hands still cupping your face, afraid that if he lets go he will lose you.

“Kiss me again.” Your voice comes out in a hoarse whisper. “Please.”

He leans in slowly this time and gently kisses you. He pours everything he has into the kiss and you feel it, you feel his passion, you feel his hunger and most importantly you feel his love. Your lips move fluidly together as he guides you backwards to rest against the door. The cold metal on your skin makes you gasp and Bucky uses this as an opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth.

Pulling away breathless he rests his forehead on yours, neither one of you ready to open your eyes just yet. When you finally do pull away you are met by those gorgeous blue eyes that you fell in love with and you can’t stop the smile from forming on your lips.

“I love you doll.” He whispers before leaning in again, closing the gap between you and crumbling your walls completely.

Permanent Taglist: @vampirewithbedsidemanners @townwitchbitch @velvetcardiganbucky @courtneychicken @band--psycho @tuiccim

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siriusmydeer · 3 years

Note

ooo okay so a James Potter x reader soulmate au where they feel each others pain, and she has a suspicion he's her soulmate but it's confirmed when he falls off his broom, and she hates him being her soulmate because he's in love with lily, but he says that lily doesn't matter anymore blah blah, and she says she first thought it was him when he fell of a bench in the great hall or something after confessing his love for lily in front of the entire school (1)

‘all along that they were soulmates but she tells him its really inconsiderate for being so obvious about his love for lily when he knew he had a soulmate and he feels really guilty and tries to make it up for her and yeah fluff ending please :)’

the painful soulmate

james potter x fem!reader

summary: in a world where you can feel your soulmates pain; your soulmate happens to think someone else is his soulmate

word count: 2.2k

warning: swearing, mentions of verbally abusing someone, mentions of beating people up, injuries; falling in the air, cracked ribs, tripping, face planting. joking name calling, kissing, angst, soulmate au, insinuation of unrequited love, fluff ending

by the age of 16 you and every other witch along with wizard were given a particular... gift. you wouldn’t consider it a gift, more like your worse fucking nightmare but you could squeal and pretend to be all dainty and excited about meeting your soulmate.

i mean why not give someone a choice on who they wanted to love? this wasn’t a game of spin the bottle this was forever.

being the only female in your friend group, made all the boys amongst you ridiculously pry into your privacy. wanting to know who they had to verbally torture considering they would scoop up the ‘precious little baby-girl’ of the group.

coming directly from the drama queen himself; sirius black. it’s not like they could beat up your partner because you would be able to feel his or her pain as-well.

you were sat in the marauders dorm absently playing with your fingers while looking at each of your mates, sirius and remus attempted to finish their plans on a new prank for the newest defence against the dark arts teacher, james sat at his desk table writing up ways to ask lily more dramatically than the last and peter had been figuring out his transfiguration homework from a few days prior.

“prongs, if you know she’s gonna say no, then why ask?” remus questioned not even looked at the sapphire-eyed boy. his only logic being, ‘well ill turn her no into a yes.’ as if coercion was the way to go.

the brunette sat at the table swiftly turning his head in the lyncanthropes direction, his spectacles almost falling down his nose from the quick snap of his head. “well, lily-pad has always said, ‘not in a million years!’ but that means after a million years she’d go out with me.” finishing his speech with a small grin.

the rest of the group on the other hand looked at him dumbfounded. eyebrows either scrunched or furrowed, “james m’afraid that’s not how it works.” you spoke, trying to ease his feelings as if your words could stop his incessant pining.

“well, i’ll just make it work!” turning around and continuing his list, speaking as if he was godric gryffindor coming up with the best idea of the century. “ten galleons she says no again.” sirius quickly whispers in peters direction, the dirty blonde haired boy doing a quick nod then looking back at his parchment.

“i heard that!”

the next time there was a ramble of soulmate talk, which by the way you were getting exhausted from. why did everyone have to have a soulmate? why couldn’t you pick from your own free will? it’s not even like you could have a bloody crush because there was already someone supposedly out there for you!

one free period, ONE! and it’s spent over peter narrowing down his options on all the gryffindor girls he might be paired with. “it’s definitely not marls, peter.” sirius’ pearl irises glanced at peter than over to remus who was trying to teach you how to play wizards chess.

“moony, not to be offensive, but this game sucks arse.” you shrugged, glaring at your queen piece that looked like it wanted to yell at you. as you were twisting around the wood of your pieces, james got up from the bench catching a glimpse of red among the ravenclaw students. instead tripping on the stone of the bench and face planting into the freshly cut grass.

you felt a soreness at the fronts of your calves and an immense discomfort on your face. you grimaced while rubbing your knees trying to soothe the random shoot of exertion through your veins to the point where you almost had the urge to groan.

james quickly scrambled to his feet trying to brush out his hair that had sprinkles of green all over the front, you completely ignored the fact that james’ fall broken by the stone of the bench had caused you to have a twinge of pain into your system.

“none of you saw that.” he panted with slight embarrassment, directing his message to sirius who had his hand clenched into a fist over his lips attempting to cover up the small chortles that were threatening to escape his lips.

“don’t worry, we saw nothing.” you confirmed with an amused grin, putting your two fingers over your lips like a seal.

he grinned back at you twice as hard, your heart starting more of an upbeat frequency that you started to notice as he sat beside you moving a piece that could ruin remus’ chance at winning.

“you slimy git! you’re helping her cheat, you little slag!” remus whined, trying to analyze the board again.

after your recovery, from absolutely nothing. you were sprawled on the scarlet-couch waiting for the rest of your friends to come back from detention. you dazed into a book remus had recently given to you, an icepack laying on your foot as you were almost hypnotized by the pride and prejudice book in your hands.

“oi, m’lady!” sirius abruptly shouted while returning to his common room. you jumped from the stentorian voice, that sunk into the now not-solemn and peaceful common room.

you turned your head seeing the bespectacled boy limp onto the other vermillion couch and rest his leg onto the plush of the pillow, meanwhile, the fawn and dirty blonde haired boys sat in the gryffindor-red love seats tired from their detention.

“what’s wrong with him?” you asked, referring to james’ leg that was propped under the pillow.

“we don’t know, we were walking and he just picked up his foot in agony. who knows maybe lily stubbed her toe.” sirius amused to the rest of the group. but your eyes widened in concern, but you had— there’s absolutely and completely no way. more than one person can stub their toe in one day, not just— just one person.

almost like you were in a daze or hypnotized, as stealth as possible you grabbed the maroon coloured blanket that was rested on the arm rest of the couch you spread it over your legs covering the foot; that you had injured previously that day.

what the fuck. no seriously, what the fuck. there wasn’t— there couldn’t even be— that wouldn’t work. it’s not possible. the butterflies, the flushed face, the nervous ticks— fuck.

over the course of the next few days, you were very careful. you could’ve been mary friggin’ poppins i mean you didn’t want him to get suspicious if you were both injured at the same time. you also did not want to know if he— the boy pining over lily fucking evans since first year was possibly— no there’s no way.

the following week there was a slytherin and gryffindor quidditch game. which also happened to be incredibly nerve wracking not only for you but between both houses, as much as slytherin wanted to seem nonchalant there act was simply not going to work. this determined who would be playing in the quidditch house cup, slytherins also happened to not play the fairest in quidditch so extra gryffindor training was keen.

well now that following week, was today. the game was fine, great even. gryffindor was in the lead and james was about to score a quaffle in the hoop, that was until slytherin beater decided to bat a bludger right into james torso causing him to collapse off his broom twenty five feet into the air with nothing to break his fall. at the reflect of the bludger on james ribs you already groaned hunched over into your seat catches the attention of both peter and sirius.

dumbledore did all the spells he could in such a swiftly manner before james skidded on the muddy grass of the pitch. by then you couldn’t even hold in the moans and groans from his affliction with the hard iron bludger and the fall from the air.

both peter and sirius’ eyes widened and shared a look before taking concern to your arching figure. “m’god i didn’t think it hurt that bad!” you groaned into your hands that could almost be seen as trembling from the agony that you were in as james’ team mates brought him down to the infirmary to check for injuries which he did in-fact have.

after sirius had brought you to your dorm, attempting to do a spell to rid you of most-but not all of your pain he raced to healers wing, seeing james on the verge of unconsciousness as madam pomfrey tried to whip up a potion in a fast manner to heal the boy.

i guess it was true— james was your soulmate. your soulmate in love with another woman that is.

a few hours later james was ordered to stay the night for observation, while both sirius and peter decided to catch up remus along with james up on the other ‘things’ more, or less, that occurred during the quidditch match.

him, and lily.... weren’t soulmates? he thought maybe one day they would’ve ended up together, at some point. not his very best friend being the one he’s ‘destined’ with. but he was desperate to speak with you, how did you know? did you even know? how bad did it hurt? he had so many questions scattered around his brain, until he saw your face that was close to a grimace from pain.

“hi.” you whispered, catching his attention.

“hey.” he whispered back hoarsely, gulping at the sudden tension in the room.

“so we’re—“ “you’re my—“ you both spoke at the same time, following an humourless more-so nervous chuckle, from the both of you.

“how long— did you even know?” james started, looking at your figure as if you didn’t know what to do with yourself.

you sat down nervously, cracking your knuckles as you were unsure where to start. “i thought— i started wondering, that day me and rem were playing chess and you fell.” you cleared your throat while speaking, avoiding eye contact entirely. “my knees started to hurt, but i didn’t even notice it. the day that you came into the common room limping, was when i suspected it.” you wrung your fingers together nervously, then looking into his irises.

“you knew? why didn’t you—“ his anger already starting to get the best of him, you knew that you were his soulmate. you were right in-front of him, but you never told him; he almost felt betrayed.

“i didn’t know! only suspected. but you have to understand, james. you were incessantly pinning after lily, you claimed you were ‘in love with her’. you’re making it seem like it was gonna be so easy for me to tell you that ‘guess what, james! the girl you love actually isn’t your soulmate and it’s your best friend you have no interest in!’ prongs, m’fraud s’not that easy.” you mocked, proving your correct argument to him based on his actions.

he took a shaky breath, analyzing basically his whole life in-front of him. even though he might’ve ‘loved’ lily, you were still more important to him. soulmate or not, he would always go to you first. he could barely stand to fight with you, he couldn’t loose you over some silly crush that he had.

“it doesn’t matter— lily— she doesn’t matter. y/n it’s you, soulmate, not soulmate, who cares! lily or not lily, you’ve always been my go-to, my number one, i mean you’ve always been the most important!” he said drastically while punctuating his words, and flailing his arms in the air to prove his point to you.

you sighed looking at him, almost unsure of his words. he looked at you expectantly before speaking again, “i’ll get on my knees right now and beg to you. with broken— well now bruised but priory broken ribs. not to mention my stubbed toe.” he chuckled at last second trying to humour you.

“oh my g— get up!” you snickered at him, james potter was on his knees fighting all the pride in his system right in-front of you where you were sat. his hands grasped both sides of your thighs trying to soothe you into you forgiving him.

at the sight of him right infront of you, with the best sirius black puppy dog eyes he could muster with a pouted lip you immediately gave in. “fine.” you sighed, “fine, fine, fine.” you giggled.

both of his hands encasing your cheeks, a small pout on your lips. “can i kiss you?” he asked, his elbows resting on your thighs. you looked at him pretending to ponder off in thought; shrugging while you spoke, “hmmm, maybe. i gues—“ he quickly cut you off, kissing your pouted lips in the middle of a sentence.

you kissed back, holding his face between your agile fingers. your right hand resting on his squared jaw and the other in his fluffy and borderline-sweaty hair. your lips slotting together, he could feel the mint taste from the gum you have chewed earlier bleed onto his tastebuds; you on the other hand, not such a memorable taste.

you quickly pulled away, a dramatic whine escaping from his throat. “you remember when you face planted into the dirt earlier?” you giggled while asking him. he looked at you confused; why would... you... be asking if he remembered himself falling?

“erm, yeah i can recall.”

“yeah your mouth tastes like dirt.”

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#james potter one shot #james potter fluff #james potter fic #james potter fanfiction #james potter x oc #james potter x you #james potter #james potter x y/n #james potter x reader #james potter fanart #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter smut #harry potter

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waywardsummoner46 · 3 years

Text

(Un)Pleasantville

A/N: Second one shot, yay! Definitely toying with expanding this as well as my Lucifer!Sam and Michael!Dean fic. I’m open to requests and let me know if you want to be added to my tag list (never had one before, oo this is exciting). As ever enjoy the fic and let me know what you think!

Word count ~ 1620

______________________________________________________________

Alright so, not to sugar coat anything but this was an absolute nightmare.

You, Sam and Castiel had gotten word of a hunt - well more Sam but that’s besides the point - and had left yesterday. You’d paused at a gas station outside of a place called Charming Acres but the dude at the counter said something was off about the place… so naturally (or supernaturally) you all went to check it out. And a dude’s head just completely blew up out of the blue after he came in for his phone?

Pulling into the town itself, now that was something. You felt as though you’d walked into a 1950s sitcom about some cheesy, lovesick marriage story. Something that you’d like to stay well away from. Consequently, you met a cheesy, lovesick couple called Justin and Cindy Smith who said they’d heard absolute zilch about any deaths and “this is a very close-knit community, nothing goes on here without everyone knowing” blah blah blah.

Anyway, the strangest thing for you wasn’t the clothes, nor was it the 1950s behaviour, no, it was the fact Justin didn’t seem to recognise what a phone was. You silently ogled at him but he paid no attention to you. So now you definitely thought something was off about this place.

After that fateful encounter, you all stumbled upon the local diner “Harrington’s” who was run by the Mayor Chip Harrington and his daughter Sunny. You thought Sunny was a very sweet young woman who honestly looked like someone you’d get along with, however you noticed her head perked up once conversation about Conrad (watermelon head guy) started. Castiel so delicately stated, “Oh no! His head exploded” rendering everyone in the diner speechless.

The Mayor stuttered for a moment then questioned “Excuse me?”

“Like a ripe melon in the sun.”

Whilst this confrontation was happening, Sunny gave you and Sam milkshakes, as Cas had refused earlier, so you were busy trying not to spit it out as you found that conversation hilarious. Chippy boy gave you the information where Conrad was last seen and then you all took off but not before Sam abruptly said “Alright, you know what? We’re leaving, bye.” And that was that.

When you’d all arrived at the boarding house, a too cheerful Ms. Dowling greeted you at the door, and creepily said she knew you were coming because it’s a small town and things travel fast. Honestly, what is it with these people? From there, and after a brief explanation on why you all were there, she showed you to Conrad’s room and said he moved in a few weeks ago.

Being your observant self, you came to the conclusion that the bed had been barely used but there were passionate and just plain disgusting letters under the mattress addressed from Sunny (so maybe she wasn’t so innocent, neither were you).

At the same time Sam suggested you all stay overnight and divulge and investigate more thoroughly in the morning and yet his almost desperate tone of voice put you on edge. Obviously, you were all tired and weary but Sam was just on a whole new level of “oh this is amazing, we should stay here because it’s so cool”. So reluctantly, you and Cas agreed but not before exchanging an uncertain glance with each other, the intuition of a teenager and an angel right?

Sam and you were sharing a room since Cas had insisted on his own, and instantly something changed with how he addressed you. “(Y/N), please take your shoes off, you’ll ruin this lovely carpet,” and “(Y/N), sweetheart, don’t you think wearing something a little more lady-like would be more appropriate, hm?”

All you could do what was sit and stare because not once had Sam ever been this pedantic or pathetic and he certainly had never called you “sweetheart”, so too baffled to engage in intelligent conversation, you went to bed just after Sam as you were too busy burning incredulous holes into the back if his hairy head. Struggling to grasp sleep, you softly whispered a “What the fuck?” and thank god Sam didn’t hear you because you would’ve absolutely hated the outcome.

The next morning you were woken up quite rudely by an angel banging on your door. Blearily you struggled out of bed and opened the door, rubbing your eyes. “What time is it?” You said.

“Time to get up, get dressed and Sam-Sam?”

Noting Castiel’s confusion, you turned quickly in what was once Sam’s direction only to find your lovable older brother had disappeared to Chuck knows where. Great, man hunt at ridiculous o’clock in the morning. Cas immediately raced down to the stairs to seemingly find Ms. Dowling leaving you rushing to change into something more appropriate that pyjamas.

Descending the stairs you notice the front door open and a frantic looking Castiel waiting in the Impala, waving for you to get in. Shouting a quick “thank you!” to Ms. Dowling, you sprant for the car and sat in Sam’s seat.

Castiel started the car and you asked “So? We know where he went?”

“I’ve been told he left this morning saying he was going on a walk to the diner and wanted a milkshake, but only after screaming at Ms. Dowling who had her eardrums blocked with ear plugs,” he said. You nodded, absorbing the information and pondered why Sam would just up and leave for a milkshake.

“Cas, you don’t think that there’s something wrong with the milkshake? Or like, this town in general? Because I do and Sam was being a real overbearing douchebag after you left yesterday and acting completely out of character.”

He didn’t hesitate to nod his head, “I must admit, the strange customs have piqued my interest and Sam did drink quite a lot of that milkshake yesterday so it might be a possibility that there is a supernatural force going on here.”

He looked like he wanted to say more, but you’d turned a corner and arrived just before the diner. Castiel left the car and went to inspect whilst you decided a smart move would be to ring Sam’s phone… only to find it ringing in the back of the car. Typical frustrating Winchester.

Placing your hands on your head, you massaged your temples and tried to think of any reasonable explanation as to what on earth was going on.

You heard the driver’s door being opened and looked over to see Castiel already turning the keys in the ignition. “He’s gone to Mr and Mrs. Smith's house,” was the only explanation you received.

Suddenly determined, you nodded and said, “Alright, we’re getting somewhere, onward!” So, the car started and picked up speed, as you made your way to the Smith’s house you took a chance to observe the area a bit more.

It was definitely something outdated and old-fashioned but the people did look happy, even if the shops were called something despicable like “The Rainbow Restaurant". It was very bright and colourful and you didn’t doubt that even if a thunderstorm hit, these people would still be acting on top of the world.

Upon finally reaching your destination, you took notice of the white-picket fence and the massive garden. The house was huge and definitely unnecessary for only two people. Regardless, you and Cas sauntered up to the door and knocked three times respectively. On the third Cindy opened the door with a clear smile on her face and a very pleasant scent of lavender perfume. “Hello, can I help you?”

You and Cas glanced at each other before he answered, “First of all, I’d like to offer my condolences for your husband's death but we really need to know-”

He was cut off by a very confused Cindy Smith who said, “My husband? Honey, I think you might be mistaken. My darling husband is in the kitchen, fetching his newspaper. Justin, dear, come say hello!”

Again, Cas looked like he wanted to continue but a very familiar, moose-like voice interrupted “Coming darling! Won’t take two slices of a carrot cake!” It was, unmistakably, Sam. You gaped and stared questioningly at Cas in silent question. He merely returned your look.

Moments later, Sam appeared in the doorway. Wearing a pair of glasses. A ponytail. And a fucking cardigan. A cardigan, because why the hell not? He wrapped his hands around Cindy’s waist and looked at us in confusion. Or sorry, at Cas in confusion, but when his gaze landed on you his face went more stern.

“Young lady, do you not remember what I said about un lady-like clothing? Because those denim jeans and that ridiculous jumper are hardly suitable for my daughter, little miss. I suggest you get in this house right now and put on that lovely dress your mother bought you,” he basically seethed.

Now you were definitely the equivalent of a fish, with your wide mouth and wide eyes. You managed to compose yourself a bit before stuttering “Sam?”

His eye twitched and there was no warning before he grabbed your arm and pulled you in the house then promptly dragged you into the sitting area. He guided you to the sofa on the left of the fireplace and very softly explained, “My sweet honey, I know that this is hard for you, but your mother and I want what’s best for you. Now, be a good girl and wait here until your mother and I have finished our pleasant conversation with our new neighbour, hm?” Then he planted a kiss on your forehead and returned to Cindy’s side to continue conversing with Cas.

All you could think was: what the fuck?

#justin smith!sam #justin smith!sam x reader #supernatural x reader #sam winchester x reader #sam x reader #Sam Winchester #castiel x reader #spn x reader

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kenmei · 3 years

Text

-ˏˋ ALREADY YOURS! ˊˎ-

♡ gn!reader x suna rintarou

cw: angst, slice of life, slightly suggestive, rin gives mixed signals, fwb!au, college!au, reader lowk got their shit together

synopsis: maybe in the next few chapters from now, he’ll be yours. but as of right now, you need to let yourself heal.

wc: 800+

notes from mei!

tumblr didn’t put this in tags and i 😁🔪 also happy 500<3

his eyes narrow and a frown settles on his lips as he looks down at you, laying in his bed with a resolve he didn’t even know you had.

“don’t say shit like that.” he spits, “ever again.” he adds, sliding out of bed to find his clothes that are scattered on the floor. they’re mixed with yours.

rin tosses your clothes onto the bed, in the empty spot next to you. a sign he wants you to leave.

you oblige.

silently, you slide into the jeans you know he really likes, and the top he complimented a over month ago—said it was cute; that the colour suited you.

as you’re opening the door, you hear him call your name. you turn your head.

“don’t come here anymore.”

you want to wince at his deadpan voice—the fact he spoke so coldly with no remorse, but you only nod as you slide out of his doorway, muttering a quiet “sorry” when you click his door shut.

you’re sliding on your shoes as the front door swings open, atsumu comes into view and he grins at you. “hey!”

you muster smile he seems to buy. “hi. what’s up?”

he scratches the back of his neck, you note his hair is less brassy. he must’ve used the purple shampoo you told him to buy.

“not much, really. you wanna eat or something?” he asked, holding up a plastic bag that smelt like heaven itself. you shook your head.

“i’m good.” you wave your hand upon hearing another door open then shut, knowing the only other one in the house is suna. rushing out, you give him a quick goodbye, knowing that this’ll probably be the last time you’d speak to him. “bye, atsumu.”

a part of you already knew it wasn’t a good idea to tell suna you like him. but at this point, it hurt too much to keep going on with what you two had.

and you know that confessing, would mean a clean break. he wouldn’t text you anymore, or even spare you a glance in the hallways.

all because sunarin’s a commitment-phobe.

and part of you, strangely, doesn’t even mind.

perhaps it’s because crushing on him is a nightmare itself, your head running miles just to understand an inch of his. because on the days he’d stay the night, he’d fiddle with your fingers, chest pressed to your back with his chin hooked over your shoulder.

he’d tell you stories set before you came into his life—amusing stories that made your lips curl upward, images or videos always included with his little anecdotes.

he’s sweet, a kind person with a little too many issues.

but most of the time, his text were half-assed and lazy—dry replies and one-worded answers that would show you his true motives.

sometimes, you’d see him looking at pictures of them. their recent pictures on instagram and holding pause on their story for a little longer than normal. he’d have uncharacteristic softness harbouring in his dark eyes. a gaze you wished belong to you.

sometimes, you’d comment teasingly, thinking that if you acted like you didn’t care, there would come a day where you truly didn’t.

that day never came, but now that you’re free of him, it hurts a little less to think about it. about them. about your sad situation.

sad not because you know he’d never reciprocate, but because you could never tell if his cold façade was a bluff or not. trying to figure out how his head works had you loosing yourself, had you giving him front row tickets to a show he would never even give a shit about.

guessing what his gazes meant, wondering why his eyes looked softer sometimes, and wondering if maybe that was a sign that he’d be likelier to stay—you hated all of it; having to play silent guessing games of whether his more delicate feelings with you were genuine.

maybe him softening up to you over time was only you being a delusional freak in love. perhaps, his eyes were never softer sometimes, and he only told you those stories because he doesn’t have anyone else who’d care to listen.

and it’s painful. but you like to remind yourself it’s only painful right now.

but even then, it still hurts to know that now, he completely ignores your presence—that his walk-by game is so strong it has you wondering if you even knew him as the boy who stole your chuupets and aimlessly played with your hands.

it hurts to know that he’s made your tiny bed feel too big, and the times you’ve laughed your hardest were with him.

(or the fact that when he kissed you, he was probably thinking of them, but for your sake, you like to think otherwise).

you hate your reality of being his, but knowing he’ll probably never be yours.

so you do your best to move on.

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu imagines #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu angst #haikyuu suna #suna x reader #suna imagines #suna angst #suna fluff #suna rintarō #haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #suna rintaro imagine #suna rintaro x reader #suna rintaro scenarios #suna headcanons #hq imagines #inarizaki imagines #inarizaki

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