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subwaysurf45 · 2 years

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Daunting Doctor’s Visit

Summary: going to the doctor’s had never really been a fun idea to you, it wasn’t a good time. luckily Bucky’s happy to be your plus one when you have your yearly physical packed with everything you’ve been putting off for a while.

Words: 3,112

Warnings: takes place a doctor’s office, mentions of blood work, pap smear, medications, birth control, other medical issue, inaccurate descriptions of medical procedures, inaccurate medical advice.

Your foot wouldn’t stop tapping, the rest of your body was still but your foot was moving fast. You had your bag over your arm and your jacket on, ready at the door and anxiously waiting. With the way your arms were crossed you could see your watch, counting the seconds until the following minute, doing the math to know how fast you needed to get there.

“Sorry,” Bucky ran down the stairs, the entire old house creaked, “sorry, the fucking call went longer than expected, I really-” “Tell me in the car please,” you pointed at the shoes you had laid out for him to literally slip into, “we really have to go.”

“I got you,” Bucky had his shoes on in no time, opening the door for you and linking his arm with yours, “we’re not going to be late, it’s alright.”

The doctor's office wasn’t exactly paradise on Earth, there had never been a moment at the office where you were scarred to the extent that you swore never to come back; it just made you extremely uncomfortable. You were going for a yearly physical and also a pap smear, blood work, and a talk about your medications. Normally you’d wait until everything pilled up so you could make one trip and forget about it for the rest of the year.

Bucky drove with one hand on the wheel and the other holding your hand on the center console, you had told Bucky early in your relationship about being on birth control and other meds to help with your mental health, and the moment you realized he was the one was when he started to pay and pick up your birth control for you. Never complained about it once and even made sure you took it, the same with the other meds.

“We’re not going to be late,” he said at the red light, “nothing to worry about.” he looked over to see your head down, trying to focus on your breathing, “good deep breathes, babe, really good,” the hand that was holding yours was brought to his lips.

“Can you hold my hand during the pap smear?” you whispered.

“I can hold your hand the entire time if you want,” he squeezed your hand, “I don’t care if I’m sitting on the examination table with you or awkwardly reaching across the room, alright?” you nodded and the light turned green, Bucky kissed your hand again and drove forward.

There had been times when you’d talk to your mom about being tired too often and she’d randomly spring it on the doctor, they’d ask to take blood and you couldn’t exactly say no even though you were not prepared for it in the slightest. When you were first put on birth control was not for sex at all, your dad was still livid at the idea of a high schooler taking a pill like that.

You could feel the judgement of the other people in the room, everyone was looking at one another as they tried to figure out what was wrong with someone. There would be times when old people or children would openly stare at you, with no shame at all when you sat there on your own. Nothing was wrong with you, you either wanted to switch medication or needed to get a vaccine but it felt like people had other ideas about you.

“What if they think we’re pregnant?” you asked as you sat in the parking lot, not ready to get out of the car yet.

“So what?” Bucky faced you, having already unbuckled you and himself.

“They’ll think I’m a slut for having a kid so early,” your hands rubbed together, “they’ll think we’re trying to get rid of it.”

“Babe,” Bucky leaned forward and made you look at him, “you’ll never see these people again, I promise you that. And if you do?” a smile graced his lips, “they won’t recognize you, they’re not going to point you out at the grocery store at the girl who went to the doctors that one day in the summer, alright?” his hand cupped your cheek, “I know it’s scary, but I believe no one will pay any mind to you, I won’t let go of your hand,” his lips pressed against your temple, “I promise.”

“Okay,” you whispered, “let’s go.”

You sat in the waiting room after checking in, you had Bucky’s hand in your lap to trace and fiddle with. You’d clean out the small bits of dirt from under his nails, or gently run the pad of your thumb over his nail bed. Your eyes were heavily focused on his hand, the veins and his knuckles, there were so many things to trace and count you simply didn’t have the time.

“Babe,” Bucky whispered, “they called you.”

You stood and so did Bucky, following you to the back and into one of many rooms. The doctor quickly joined you, shaking Bucky’s hand. “I’m Dr. Reaya, a pleasure to meet you.”

“You too,” Bucky smiled and sat with you on the table.

“Okay, so,” she flipped through the pages, “how about we get the pap over and done with, how does that sound?”

“Good,” you nodded and immediately picked up Bucky’s hand.

“Are you nervous?”

You didn’t respond, shutting your eyes tightly to prevent any tears from slipping through. Bucky never talked over you or for you, he was good about letting you have your voice. But he knew when to pipe in, “she’s nervous about everything.”

“It’ll hurt more if you’re nervous,” she pulled the straps down for your feet, “if you could take your bottoms off and lay back on the table, placing your feet in the stirrups that would be appreciated.” she left after that, giving you both a moment.

“Here,” he held out his hand after you took your bottoms off, he placed them on the chair he had brought up to the table before sitting on them. “You’re alright,” he whispered and helped you to get under the sheet.

“May I come back in?” the Doctor asked, and Bucky answered for you.

“Can I hold your hand?” you whispered as the Doctor and another nurse walked in, they were preparing for the examination and didn’t hear you.

Bucky didn’t verbally answer, all he did was take your hand into his and brought it close to his chest. He was watching you tentatively, but he hid it well.

“Alright,” the nurse began, talking you through everything, “you’re going to feel a slight cramp…” her voice trailed off, “please try not to stiffen,” her voice sounded as though her brows were pulled together and her tongue poked out of her lips.

“Hey, look at me,” Bucky hushed, “remember how we first met?” he smiled, “at the party?”

“Yeah,” you grunted out.

“Can you tell me?”

Natasha had left you to hook up with a guy, you were proud of her. After that horrendous dumping by her Ex, you knew Steve would treat her right, maybe for more than a night. The only issue was that you were left alone at a party you weren’t invited to, these were Natasha’s friends and it was obvious. It was like you were invisible in the backyard where smoke and laughter filled the air.

You stood off to the side with a classic red cup in your hand, slowly sipping it and looking around for someone to talk to, anyone really. These people were frat boys who didn’t make the cut, people who brought the high school to university to make sure they kept living their glory days for as long as possible. The girls acted like in every movie out there, the cheerleader who ran the squad, all yelling over one another to get someone’s attention. It was weird to see them all be so passive, preaching about feminism while pulling up old ugly photos of people they barely knew. Natasha wasn’t like that but somehow accepted it.

“Are you dissecting them with your eyes?” two guys approached you, “I don’t think it’s any fun to stand and watch the party, there are guys trying to convince everyone to jump in their pool.”

“I’m guessing you two want to hide from the awkward no?” you laughed as you took a sip of whatever was in your drink.

“Precisely,” the other one spoke, he was handsome and quiet. Long brown hair sat perfectly in his face, enough to cover his features but not enough to have him shake his mane out so he could see better.

“I’m Sam, this is James.”

“Nice to meet you,” you reached out and shook their hands, “I’m waiting for my friend.”

“Who?” Sam asked, shifting his weight and getting more comfortable in the conversation, it seemed he actually wanted to stay and talk.

“Natasha,” the moment you said her name the two boy’s faces lit up, they looked at each other with the widest smiles; only to be described as boy smiles.

Sam reached out and grabbed your shoulder, but only James noticed your slight flinch. “Is she with Steve?”

“Yeah-”

“Yes!” Sam yelled, also causing you to flinch back. “He’s been going after your friend forever, changing how he walks to classes, stalking her Instagram, this entire party he’s been hyping himself up to talk to her.”

You felt comfortable, “it was probably Natasha who made the first move.”

“I also agree,” James laughed, “she seemed headstrong and my boy was-and still is-shit whipped for her,” they both started laughing.

“I’m y/n by the way,” you smiled.

James’ lips slightly parted, “sorry, completely forgot to ask, we’re so caught up in our friend's sex life recently it’s been getting in the way,” James quickly shot one eyebrow up, his hand was going to your shoulder to either playfully punching it or squeeze it to apologize but he caught himself, awkwardly moving the hair out of his eyes.

“Nice to meet you,” Sam said after looking over his shoulder, “I’ll see you around, y/n.”

“Likewise,” you smiled and waved, James didn’t leave. You just stared at him before sipping your drink, breaking and fixing your eye contact rapidly. “Sorry,” you whispered.

“What are you sorry about?” James smiled, he wasn’t holding a drink so his hands found the pockets of his jeans.

You were known for apologizing for no reason, “I-sorry-I do that sometimes, nothing is worth apologizing over but it fills the awkward silence.”

“I see,” James smiled and looked around, “look, I wanted to come over because you looked very scared, I’ve been sober all night, do you want me to drive you home?” he pained through a smile, “and I know it’s not ideal to have a man who you don’t know, have no proof that he’s sober, and has only talked to you about your friend’s sex lives-” you both laughed a little more, “-I know it’s not your first choice, I can even pay for an Uber if you want.”

“I don’t know,” you looked down into your cup.

“I don’t want to like…kick you out, that’s the last thing I want,” he stepped closer, “but I also know exactly how you feel in the sense that you don’t really know anyone and you’re standing off in the corner, it’s boring and lonesome and maybe you don’t like me and just want to go home, who knows,” he shrugged, “you seem like a girl with too much on her mind, I want to help ease that.”

“Why are you so good at that?” You whispered into your cup, fighting back the stupid childish tears that were forming. Why was crying so easy when alcohol was in your system?

“Did I-” James cut himself off, “I live here, do you want to go to my room for some quiet?” he noticed your tears, “shit, I am so sorry, y/n,” he hovered his hand over your shoulders, after a gentle nod he placed them down, “come to my room, I’ll let you have some peace and quiet.”

You kept your head down as you walked, no one paid any mind. It was too late that night for people to be alert or even care about a stranger, no one knew you were crying. James walked behind you with his hand on your shoulder, it just so happened you walked inside first. After climbing the stairs you looked over your shoulder and James walked ahead of you, taking you to his small room.

“Here, I’ll run downstairs and grab some water for you,” he smiled and quickly left.

Even in your jeans, your party top, your makeup, in everything…the moment you laid back in bed you fell asleep right away.

“There we go, all done,” the nurse said.

“That’s it?” you gasped, “it’s done?”

“The hard part is done, I’ll step outside and you can put your bottoms back on and then we can talk about the other stuff,” the nurse smiled as she followed the doctor outside of the room.

“Way to go,” Bucky leaned over and kissed you, it was like he was breathing a deep breath into your lungs, “god, I’m fucking proud of you,” he kissed your forehead next, “we’re definitely stopping for a coffee on the way home, especially if they take your blood but also for a little reward, alright?”

“Thank you,” you breathed out as you slipped on your shorts, “I love you,” the words were so casual between the two of you but in moments like these the weight of them changed.

“Love you too, baby,” Bucky kissed you again, you loved it when he didn’t ask and would just go for it, making it seem like he couldn’t hold back long enough.

The rest of the doctor's appointment was somewhat smooth sailing, they took blood and you saw the way Bucky’s brows were continuously pinched together, his eyes scanned your face probably because it lost a little bit of colour. You got one vaccine which was in and out, the last thing on your agenda was your medications.

“I feel really foggy when I take them if that makes sense,” you fiddled with your fingers as you spoke, “like some film over the way I see the world and I miss the way it was, all of my memories are happier once I compare them to the mental state I’m in,” your eyes flicked to Bucky who looked slightly upset, “and I don’t mean that I’m unhappy now, well-...” you sighed and rubbed your forehead, “I have everything I’ve ever wanted right now, a wonderful boyfriend, a well-paying job, friendships, no stress about money - I’m in the sweet spot right now, which makes me wonder why I’m not feeling ten out of ten right now if that makes sense…” you trialed off with a shrug.

“There are two ways we could approach this,” your Doctor looked at your chart, “you can either switch companies, every pharmaceutical company has a medication for you, you just might not have the right one.” you looked at Bucky and nodded, “or you can take a break with meds right now for about six months and then you can come back and we can re-access.”

“I think I’ll take a break,” you nodded.

“Wonderful,” your Doctor smiled and wrote something down.

With nothing else left to talk about you left, feeling lighter and more confident in yourself. Bucky kept his word and bought you a coffee on the way home, even getting a cookie for you two to split. He was his normal self the entire way home, Bucky wasn’t the type of guy to need to talk all the time, he was quite alright with silence between two people.

Once you were home you sprawled out on the bed, “my fucking arm,” you sighed, “that vaccine takes so much out of you.”

“I have a question,” Bucky disregarded what you said and laid down beside you, also laying on his stomach and looking right at you, “when you were talking about your happiness I-”

“Bucky, don’t,” you reached out and touched his lips, “I’m happy with you and I love you and it’s my own brain that puts a black-and-white filter over things sometimes, it’s not you, I’m fully happy with you.”

“Okay,” he said quietly, “just tell me if there’s anything I can do.”

“Anything you can do?” you repeated as you rolled over on top of him, straddling his abs, “you drove me to an appointment I could have driven to myself, you held my hand during my pap smear, you bought me a coffee, and you make me so happy everyday-I don’t think there’s anything else you can do, you’re the perfect guy!” you laughed and leaned forward, hugging him tightly.

“Alright,” he blushed and tried to hide his face, “you make me happy too,” he muttered, “really fucking happy, like, my heart beats a little faster every time I see you.”

“Shut up,” you giggled, trying to roll off of him.

Bucky grabbed you tightly and rolled with you, finding space between your legs so he could be as close as possible. Out of nowhere, he began to tickle you, he admitted once he did it to get your real laugh out. You had a fake one because you thought your real laugh was loud and ugly, not wanting to startle people. But when he found that spot on your waist you threw your head back with a cackle, trying to get him to stop.

“I’m gonna pee!” you screamed, he was switching between your neck, waist, and armpits. You attempted to fight back by tickling him but that let him sneak under your arms.

“Let me hear that laugh!” he yelled over your pleads for him to stop, once you let it out and began to really laugh he somewhat slowly down but didn’t entirely stop. His hands were fast as he moved from every place on your body, half of the spots weren’t ticklish but you were in the laughing mood-

“Ow, my fucking sore arm!”

“...sorry…”

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crazyinlovewithbucky · 7 months

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“In the bedroom, I’ll be screaming but outside, I’ll keep it quiet.”

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x avenger!Reader

Summary: You and Bucky had a sexual relationship and were hiding it from everyone in the team and the compound, making the relationship more exciting for you. Also, you discovered a secret kink Bucky had.

Warnings: smut with very little plot, overstimulation, p in v sex, RUSSIAN NICKNAMES, Soldat kink, Bucky being desperately horny, sex-tape, filming during sex, almost getting caught, praise kink, some degradation kink with name-calling, creampie, breeding kink, marking kink, hair pulling, kind of voyeurism kink??, Steve making appearance and being so sweet and gentle to reader, an odd mention of Pam and Tommy? fingering, finger sucking, fluff, aftercare, Russian praise, too many kinks, I lost track I'm sorry.

This smut was inspired by the song Low by SZA

AU/N: Hey guys, I don't know how to say this but this smut piece is literally written based on a dream I had lol. Hope you enjoy it and I'd like to remind you that English isn't my first language so excuse if I misspelled or mispronounced anything. Enjoy <3.

"Shit, get in. Get in." Your heart skipped a beat, and you got so excited and shy when you saw Bucky standing in front of your door completely naked with nothing but his bathroom robe on, and he opened it wide open as soon as you opened your bedroom door. You held his hand and pulled him in quickly before someone saw him like this. "What the hell are you doing?" You closed and locked the door, turned around to face him, and found his robe now pooling around his feet.

"I just missed you so much, baby doll. Come here." He pulled you by your arms to him and started kissing you hungrily, then he lifted you up in his arms, and you wrapped your legs around him by habit. You kissed him back deeply. "I just couldn't wait until they fell asleep. I need you so badly." He mumbled against your mouth and held you tightly as he turned towards your bed and threw you gently on it. "Clothes off now." He ordered, and you giggled as you didn't have many clothes on. Only your tank top and your panties. You took them off quickly and saw him already moving his metal hand up and down his hardened cock, and it was leaking pre-cum at the sight before his eyes: you, fully naked on your white bed sheets. All his.

He started at your feet, kissing and mumbling sweet words like miss this, miss you, love you, my doll, my perfect girl, and need you, moving all the way up to your calves, knees, and thighs, filling them with kisses and love bites. You smiled at how needy he was, as if you hadn't woken up in his arms this morning as he was fucking you awake, burying his head in your neck, and marking you there. You had to wear a turtleneck sweater all day long in the middle of August because of his marks on your neck, claiming you as his over and over again as he wanted desperately to show everyone that you are his, but unfortunately for him, you had to keep your relationship a secret because you don't want anyone snooping around or middling in that special bond you and Bucky have.

At first, you kept it a secret because you weren't sure if this relationship would work out or not, and if it didn't, you both didn't want it to be a big deal with everyone walking on eggshells around you guys. But to your surprise, it worked out, and it lasted for a whole year. You both thought the reason why it's going so well between you guys is because you're keeping it a secret, so this is why you try to hide it as best as you can, sneaking around and locking doors, making excuses to go on missions together as it feels like a gateway vacation for you both. Of course, you were working and getting your asses kicked, but you always made things up to make it last longer than it did so you could enjoy your time together and go on dates. It wasn't the best plan, but it made you both happy and got you both closer to each other. And all things aside, you both found it so thrilling and erotic to keep it hidden from everyone and sneak around, having quickies in conference rooms, on the quinjets, in Tony and Bruce's labs, in the gym, on the roof, and in a parked SUV. Because sadly, most of the time you both weren't alone; he was either with Steve or Sam, and you were always following Nat and Yelena around. So you both had to take advantage of any time you found yourselves alone in it.

"Take it easy, Soldat. Don't you remember this morning?" You smirked and rubbed his hair while he was kissing and sucking love marks on your inner thighs.

"I love it when you call me that." He chuckled, moved up your body, and kissed you passionately. He devoured your mouth with his. He pressed his body so close to yours, like you were a part of him. Wrapped his arms around you, holding you tightly, afraid you might disappear if he ever let go. You wrapped your arms and legs around him, fearing the same thing. "Want to do nothing except for staying right here, like this, forever, моя любовь" he mumbled, and you moaned against his mouth when you heard your favorite Russian nickname, the one he always whispers in your ear when he tries to tease you in front of people. My love.

He moved his head down and started sucking and biting your nipples, giving each one the proper love and attention they deserve. while moving his hands, lifting your legs up, and bending you in half. You held them up and wrapped them around his torso. He sneaked his fleshy hand down to your cunt and cupped it. Rubbing and opening your lips down there and feeling your arousal soak his hand "All of this is for me, Кукла?" He rubbed your arousal all over your clit, earning some moans and whimpers from you. Then he moved his hand to his mouth and licked his digits clean of your wetness. "Tastes like heaven, as always." He pushed his tongue into your mouth and kissed you like his life depended on it. So passionately, you were slightly getting dizzy.

While getting drowned in his kiss, you felt his cock slowly poking your entrance. He pushed the head slowly inside, and you moaned against his mouth at how hot and hard it felt inside. You felt yourself gushing around him, just for the excitement of feeling his hardened cock filling you up. He moved his kisses to your neck, finding new places there to mark you. He pushed his cock inside of you slowly until he bottomed out, and both of you were moaning messes. You loved hearing him moan and whimper for you as much as he loved hearing the same sounds come out of you.

He picked up a slow and deep pace at first, while his mouth never left yours or your body. You were playing with his hair and moaning his name. "Damn, Bucky. I missed this so much. Please don't leave. I want you, like this all the time." You whimpered in his ear, and you swore you felt his cock twitching when he heard your words. You thought he was going to cum.

"Fuck, Y/N. You're killing me." He breathed hard and started an unrelenting pace, going faster and fucking his cock harder into you. His hand snaked down, and he rubbed quick circles on your clit. You cried out loud and couldn't control your screams and moans anymore. You couldn't handle it any longer, and suddenly, you heard that gushing sound coming out of you. You squirted and came all over his cock. You lost all control of your body, and you felt your walls uncontrollably clenching so hard on his cock. He moaned loudly as he emptied everything he had inside of you; that squelching sound became louder because of your mixed juices, and he couldn't stop fucking everything into you, filling you up, and marking you as always.

You were cut off from your trance by a loud banging on your door, and someone was trying to open your door. "Y/N, are you okay? Open the door." It was Steve, and from the sound of his voice, he was very concerned.

"Fuck, were we that loud?" you panicked and whispered to Bucky.

He chuckled at you and said, "You were that loud, doll, not me." He kissed your cheek while stressing the word 'you'.

Steve kept banging and trying to open the door, saying, "I'm going to break this down if you don't answer me."

"Holy shit," you whispered. "Steve, I'm fine. It's just—II was—Oh." You yelled back to Steve and were cut short because Bucky moved his semi-hard cock and kept fucking his cum into you, very slowly and deeply. "Buck, come on." You moaned quietly, but all this son of a bitch did was raise his eyebrows at you playfully and smirk.

"Looks like Steve will finally find out the slut you've been hiding under your innocent face, doll. And you know Steve loves to gossip with Nat." He smirked and bit your jaw playfully, knowing goddamn well that Steve tells everything to Nat, and Nat tells Yelena, and Yelena has a big mouth and will tell every single one in the compound that Steve saw you being fucked raw by his best friend, and that made you get more startled and out of breath.

"Y/N. What's wrong? Are you sure you're fine?" Steve yelled from the other side of the door.

"Y-Yes, Steve. I- Fuck" Bucky, being the torturous monster he is, he started sucking and kissing that sweet spot in your neck, making you forget you just squirted all over his cock and want nothing but to cum all over his cock over again.

"Don't stop those sweet sounds you make, doll. Let them know who's making you scream like a slut," Bucky whispered in your ear as he never stopped dragging his now-hardened cock in and out of you.

"Y/N?" Steve called. "I'm getting really worried here; I'm breaking down the door."

"No." You yelled loudly. "Stop, please. I'm just having period cramps." You yelled, then put your hand on your face from the embarrassment. Bucky giggled quietly at you, and you hit his shoulder.

"Period?" He smirked at you. "Have I really fucked you stupid already?" He chuckled while smirking at you as his right hand moved to your breast, and he pinched your left nipple playfully, which made you whine at him.

"Really? Do you need anything?" Steve calmed down a bit and asked with a still-concerned voice.

"No, Steve. I'm fine. I have everything I need. Thank you." You breathed out and bit Bucky's shoulder as he couldn't stop giggling and smirking at you.

"Okay. If you need anything, you can text me, I guess." Steve said, and you smiled at his sweetness.

"Will do, Cap. Thanks."

"Why don't you go fuck him instead, huh?" Bucky frowned at you after he pushed all of his length inside and stopped moving.

You rolled your eyes at him and were about to reply back, but Steve's voice stopped you. "Have you seen Bucky, by the way?" He asked from behind the door, and your eyes widened. Bucky smirked and was about to say something loudly, but you smacked your hand on his mouth quickly and flipped him over while his cock was still buried inside of you. You were straddling him now, on top of him, while your hand was still covering his mouth and shushing him.

"No, Cap. Not since dinner. Maybe he's in his room." You tried to stabilize your voice as much as you could as your eyes started to tear up from the burning that Bucky's cock was causing inside of you and your need to fuck yourself on him and cum again.

"He's not. I was in his room right before I heard you, and he wasn't there." He exclaimed. You cursed him and all the gods and everyone at this moment for disturbing your much-needed moment with Bucky like that. "Maybe he's taking a late-night ride or something."

"I was." Bucky mumbled from beneath you, your hand still covering his mouth. You rolled your eyes at him and told him to shut up.

"Anyways, thanks, Y/N. Get well soon. See ya." Steve said, and then you heard him walking away, and you sighed in relief.

Bucky kissed your hand that was covering his mouth, and you looked down at him. You admit he looks so sexy like that, with his messed-up hair, hazy half-lidded eyes, and kind of red cheeks. You removed your hand and kissed him deeply. He flipped you over again, so he was on top of you again and kissing you hungrily.

"I want to try something with you tonight." He smirked and licked his now-swollen lips. He lifted himself up slowly, opened your nightstand's drawer, and took out your vintage video camera. You're not surprised how well he knows its location; he knows every single item in your room like it's his own, as he spends most of his nights here.

The hobby you and Bucky shared and which was the topic of your first-ever conversation was photography. He really loved taking pictures of everything; it was his way of adapting to the new world, and as much as he liked how these new wireless phones had cameras in them, he was old-fashioned and had a nice collection of vintage film cameras. He takes pictures of everything he finds in his way; that was actually recommended first by his therapist, and it had good results for Bucky as he figured out he was passionate about that, so he always had his camera with him. You, on the other hand, had a passion for filming videos and making short movies and vlogs; when you were young, your dream was to be a filmmaker. You chose to be a superhero instead, but no one says you can't make videos and short movies as a hobby. So you always kept your cameras near, and Bucky knew all of their locations.

He opened it and turned it on, pointing the lens at his face and making silly faces to make sure it was recording. You laughed at him and at the silly faces he was making. "What are you doing, Barnes?" You giggled at him and sat up a little.

He smirked and kissed you. "I heard about this show that's based on this celebrity couple that made a sex tape in the 90s, and everyone was freaking out about it."

"Oh, really?" You made a shocked face at him and were playing along as if you weren't the one telling him about that show.

"Yeah. I guess it was a big deal back then." He flipped you over on your stomach as he was kneeling behind you, holding the camera in his hand while filming your naked body.

"Yeah?" You loved this idea but still looked confused and turned your head to face him, surprised he was actually into it.

He pointed the camera at your face and giggled, "Now, we're making one of our own." He raised his eyebrows at you playfully.

"Oh god, Bucky. You are crazy." You laughed and buried your head in the pillow.

"You're the reason, doll. You drive me crazy." He smirked. He grabbed one pillow and put it under your hips to give him easy access to your pussy.

He positioned the camera on the top right of the bed while making the lens focus on your body, and he saw that this was the perfect position from the flipped recording screen of the camera. You made a silly face at the camera and stuck your tongue out, making him laugh behind you. He brushed your hair with his fingers, grabbed it carefully with his hand, and kissed your shoulder. He lined his cock with his other hand at your entrance and pushed himself slowly inside, earning a gasp from you. As he pushed himself all the way inside and bottomed out, he laid on top of you while his grip on your hair tightened, and you arched your back against his chest while moaning out his name.

He started fucking faster into you right away. This position made his cock hit deeper spots inside you, and you could feel him all the way up to your lower stomach, and you knew if you touched it, you'd feel the bulge there. You couldn't wait till you hit your orgasm to see stars and white dots, as you can see them now from how deep he was and how hard he was fucking into you. You can feel his hot breath on the back of your neck, which gave you goosebumps all over, and that made you cry out louder than you already were.

He grabbed your hair harder, pulled your head up from the pillow, and pointed your face at the camera. "Look at the camera, шлюха. Look at yourself being fucked dumb." He whispered in your ear before biting your earlobe and sucking on it. You couldn't control your screams at that point, and you tried your hardest to muffle them on the pillow, but you couldn't because of how Bucky was holding your head up. You were praying silently that no one comes again and disturbs you from being fucked into another oblivion.

His other hand snaked up from your waist to your mouth as he pushed two fingers inside your mouth, and you welcomed them and sucked on them hungrily. You pushed your hips back to meet his hard thrusts, and you didn't know if it would be possible, but he somehow hit deeper, and his cockhead was poking your cervix over and over again. You screamed loudly but were muffled by his fingers in your mouth. Now you know why he let you suck on them in the first place. He doesn't want anyone to hear you either.

Somehow, while he was splitting you in half, your orgasm hit you suddenly like lightning, which made you squirm and shake vigorously underneath him as the overstimulation made you lose all control of your body. You closed your eyes and were tearing up while making all sorts of babbling and incoherent sounds. You didn't notice how hard you were clenching his cock until he was whimpering loudly and shooting his warm liquid inside of you. Filling you to the max. He couldn't handle how hard your soaked walls were clenching his bursting cock, so he pulled it all the way out and continued spurting all of his cum on your cunt and its lips. After your walls relaxed and stopped clenching so hard, he watched how your mixed cum dripped and got out of your swollen and abused hole. He almost drooled at the sight before him, but he proceeded to collect all of that mess between your legs with his fingers and fuck it back into you.

You were too overstimulated and kept squirming and trying to move your hips away unconsciously. "Stop moving, принцесса. We have to make it stick." You were moaning uncontrollably. He pulled his fingers out and licked them clean. He started kissing you all over, starting at your ass cheeks and moving up to your shoulder, neck, and eventually your lips.

You tried to kiss back but couldn't because you wanted to breathe more. He smiled and kissed your cheek, grabbed the camera, and stopped recording. He put it again in the drawer, saying, "We can watch that later. Now, let's get you all cleaned up, котенок" He flipped you over on your back again and was going to hold you up, but you stopped him.

"In a minute, please." You yawned, grabbed his hand, and pulled him next to you on the bed. "You killed me, Barnes. At least give me a moment to relax." You hugged him tightly and slept on his chest with his arms wrapped around you.

He chuckled, "If I gave you a minute, Y/L/N, you'll fall asleep, and we need to get cleaned up first." He rubbed your hair and massaged your scalp slowly, trying to ease it from how hard he was pulling your hair before.

"No." You mumbled and hugged him tighter.

"At least, let me clean and change the bed sheets. It's all wet and sticky because of you." He giggled at your childish behavior and tried to get up, but you held him so tightly.

"No." You whined and pouted your lips.

"Come on, doll. I'll make you a hot bath and let you nap a little in it." He drew circles on your arm and kissed your head. He tried to get up again, and you let him.

"Fine. Only if you put that lavender oil in it." You smiled lazily at him and let him hold you up, and you rested your head on his shoulder while he took you to your private bathroom.

"Все для моей принцессы." He kissed you deeply, then sat you on the sink and cleaned you up with a wet cloth after he turned the hot water on in the tub and put some lavender oil in it, waiting for it to be filled. He sat you in the tub gently as he cleaned himself up, wrapped a towel around his hips, and went to clean and change the bedsheets. He came back to the bathroom and saw you napping quietly in the tub. He smiled to himself at how beautiful you looked and went to the bedroom, grabbed one of your Polaroid camera, and took a picture of his sleeping beauty in the bathtub, looking so angelic. He took off the towel and joined afterwards. He sat behind you and made you rest your head on his chest and sleep on him as he kept rubbing your hips and waist from the bruises he caused earlier from grabbing you so hard and tight.

You woke up the next morning in his arms, in clean and fresh bedsheets, both of you smelling like lavender and wearing clean and soft underwear. You kissed his lips softly, and he opened his eyes slowly and smiled at you. "Good morning, Soldat." You kissed him again, and he kissed back.

"It's always a good morning when I wake up with you in my arms, моя любовь" he smiled and kissed you again. "I love you." He locked eyes with you and held your face with his hand while rubbing his thumb on your cheek.

"I love you," you said back, and you pressed your lips to his, kissing him deeply. Never in your life did you think you'd find true love and connection with someone. But here you are, absolutely head over heels for this man in front of you.

fin

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моя любовь = "my love" Все для моей принцессы = "anything for my princess" котенок = "kitten" принцесса = "princess" шлюха = "slut" Кукла = "doll"

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wanda-widow · 1 month

Text

Post-Mission

Grumpy!Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 832

Summary: Bucky has always been one to try and pull away from people who care about him. However, you're always one to be insistent and care for him anyways, no matter what he says.

18+ MDNI

Warnings: slight angst, implied smut if you squint your eyes, fluff

Like and reblog if you wish 💗

Hearing footsteps shuffle down the hall along with the sound of a dragging duffle was all you needed to know that Bucky was back from his week long mission. Hopping off the bed and peeking your head out of your shared bedroom, you saw Bucky scrub a weary hand down his face. You instantly frowned, worried as you hurried over to him, taking the duffle out of his hands.

“How was the mission? Are you hurt anywhere? We should get you some food, you look exhausted” you said while rushing back to the room to unpack his gear as he let out a sigh, silently chucking off his boots before face planting on the bed.

“Bucky?” came your worried voice after you put his boots into the closet, sitting on the bed next to him and poking his shoulder. “Bucky, get up. Shower, eat, and then rest.” you urged, poking him again when his vibranium hand shot out to grip your wrist.

“Let me sleep” he said gruffly before shifting on the bed so that his back was turned to you, leaving you rubbing your wrist softly. You knew he wasn’t too responsive after missions since it took so much out of him, not that he was one for words or self care anyways. Still, you took it upon yourself to make sure he was cared for.

“Please? I’ll make you plum croissants tomorrow if you just shower and eat” you tried again, scooting closer to him to rest your head on his shoulder as you felt him sigh again before sitting up.

“Eat and then shower” he said, running a hand through his hair as he made his way to one of the compound communal kitchens, sitting down on one of the stools as he waited for you expectantly.

“Grilled cheese?” you offered, slotting yourself in the opening between his thighs, pressing a kiss to his forehead as he nodded, fingers trailing down your arm as you pulled away. You could feel his gaze follow you as you bustled around the kitchen to make his food. “Go shower and then you can eat after” you said softly, turning around to look at him as he frowned, reaching out to tug you by the wrist back into his proximity.

“Thought you would shower with me” he said softly, letting his walls down while no one else was around. You felt his hands come to rest on your waist, forehead between your breasts as he pressed a kiss through your clothes.

“Another time, I promise” you laughed softly, letting your hands run through his hand before stopping at his shoulders, letting one hand trail down his vibranium arm. He let out a quiet whine before getting off the stool, dropping a kiss to the top of your head. You watched as he went back to the room to shower before turning back to the sandwich, humming softly.

20 minutes later, Bucky was freshly showered and seated at the counter once more, gaze still fixed on you as you plated his sandwich and sat next to him. He ate in silence for a while as you observed the new wounds on his back. Finding some gauze and neosporin, you began to bandage them gently.

“They’re shallow but-”

“They’re nothing” Bucky cut you off but made no move to stop you from patching him up. After placing the last piece of medical tape, he turned in his stool to face you, the both of you exchanging silent conversation before he got up to wash his plate.

“If you keep going on long missions, you’re just gonna keep destroying yourself, Buck” you said quietly, swallowing the lump in your throat. It became more apparent that the past couple months, he just drew further into himself with each mission, determined to block out the pain with endless fighting.

“I’m just helping the team” he said tersely, putting his dish in the drying rack before he walked back to the room, expecting you to follow behind him. You stood there for a moment, willing for the emotions to fade, to appreciate that he was here.

Your legs moved in habit, walking to your shared bedroom and flicking off the light before sliding under the covers with him. You could still hear his breaths, short and controlled. He wasn’t asleep.

After a long moment of silence, he spoke up again. “I don’t mean it, doll. The rudeness, the violence. I’m trying.”

“Bucky…” you started quietly but stopped when you felt the bed shift, a heavy weight now resting across your waist, shallow puffs of breath ghosting across your collarbone.

“I’ll take a month break, spend time with you?” he half offered, half begged, the grip on your waist tightening.

“James…”

“Only time with you. No one else unless really needed” he whispered, his leg shifting to now rest over yours, lips gently sucking at the base of your neck, smirking when he felt you cave.

“How does Bali sound?”

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ravenromanova · 6 months

Text

Make you mine

Parings: Bucky x Female reader

Warnings: SMUT DO NOT READ IF YOURE UNDER 18+! Slight metal arm kink, Breeding kink, Unprotected sex. DO NOT READ IF YOU’RE UNDERAGE

Summary: You try to cut off things with Bucky but he has other plans.

Kinktober masterlist - Main masterlist - Send me requests!!!

The room was thick with tension and your heart was beating in your ears. You knew the arrangement you knew it was just sex so why did it hurt everytime he left? It hurt because you loved him even though you know you shouldn’t.

“I’ll see you after my mission Doll” He says quickly pulling up his pants along with throwing his shirt back on. Your eyes are stuck on him as he gathers his stuff from your room. He walks over and kisses your head before leaving…that’s new you thought to yourself.

“Yea” Was all you managed to say as you watched him leave your room. With a heavy sigh you lay back against your pillows and try not to cry. You felt so stupid, so weak, so pathetic for falling for him. You knew you needed to put a stop to this and you were going to do so when he came back.

Hours went by and you showered before making your way to the kitchen. When you walked in you were greeted with Natasha and Sam sitting at the island sipping their coffee.

“Hey sunshine” Natasha smiled at you while Sam smiled and greeted you as well.

“Morning guys” You said faking a happy tone and smile. Luckily for you they didn’t notice anything off with you and if they didnt say anything. So you just went about making your coffee and went to go sit outside by the lake out back.

The sun felt nice on your skin but not too much to overheat you due to the cool wind blowing by. A smile settles on your face as you watch the ducks by the lake and enjoy the caramel flavored coffee. While you sat there you got lost in your thoughts and started thinking about him. You couldn’t feel anything other than sadness was over your as you thought of him.

After about fifteen minutes of thinking you decided that you really needed to cut whatever this was off when he got back tomorrow from his mission. You couldn’t keep pretending you weren’t in love with him anymore. Once you figured out what you were going to say to him you decided to head back inside.

You walked back inside and went straight to your room without talking to anyone not wanting to be social at the moment. And when you walked into your room your eyes widened at the sight in front of you. There were rose petals on the bed, candles littered your shelves and desk. And the last thing you noticed was Bucky standing at the end of your bed.

“Bucky what is this? I thought you were on a mission?” You asked and he just smiled and walked closer.

“I was” He said taking your hands in his. “And now i’m just finishing it” You shot him a confused look clearly not getting what he was saying. “My mission is to make you mine” His voice was genuine as he spoke.

“B-But you said you didn’t want a relationship” Confusion and anxiety were laced in your voice. Bucky took his fingers and tilted your head back so you looked at him.

“I was wrong… I do want a relationship…One with you” His words got you like a truck and you’re eyes up with tears.

“I-I” The words come or broken and stuttered as you speak. Bucky takes this as his chance to show you how much he loves you. He takes your face in his hands and brings you into a deep and passionate kiss. Instinctively you wrap your arms around his neck to deepen the kiss. He uses this as an opportunity and grabs the back of your thighs and lifts you up. Your legs wrap around his waist as he pins you against the wall.

The kiss is the most passionate kiss the two of you have ever shared. It was messy, heated and filled the air with extreme tension. You started to grind yourself against his crotch once you felt the bulge in his pants.

“Fuck doll you keep doing that i won’t be able to control myself” He grunted in your ear.

“Maybe i want you to lose control” You whisper against his lips and his eyes darken at your words.

“Fuck it” Bucky said and before you knew it you were thrown into your bed. He wasted no time in settling on top of you. His strong hands moved their way to your body before he ripped off your shirt. You gasped when his metal hand gripped your clothed chest. Bucky reached behind your back and unclamped your bra and rolled at your bare chest.

“So fucking pretty” He praised kissing your chest making you blush. Even though he’s probably fucked to over a hundred times by now you never ceased to amaze him. He took his time and worshipped each of your breasts leaving marks in his path before moving down.

“Please” You whined as you felt his hands travel down to the hem of your shorts. His metal hand slipped under both your shorts and underwear making you jump slightly.

“So wet bunny” He chided with a smile when he felt your slick cover his fingers. His flesh hand ripped off your shorts and underwear leaving you completely bare under him.

“Please Jamie please fuck me” You beg gripping onto his broad shoulders. Bucky smiled down and gave you a quick kiss before riding himself off his clothes. You couldn’t help but stare at the man in front of you, he was the most beautiful man you’ve ever laid your eyes on. His toned chest and abs, The most crystal blue eyes, Long dark hair that you adored he was truly a work of art.

His hand roommate your body and gripped your hips as he admired the beautiful woman in front of him. “If we do this…it’s not like the other times understand me? You’re mine babygirl” He said with a softer tone than he’s been using.

“I’m yours Jamie” Those words leaving your mouth unlocked something primal in him and he wasted no time in pushing into you. Your hands flew to his shoulders when you felt his thick cock stretch you out. It had only been a day since you two last fucked but it always feels like wells with how big he is.

“So fucking tight baby” He grunted as he bottomed out hitting your g-spot. Your head flew back from the immense pleasure you felt. Bucky thrusted into you hard and with passion making your orgasm approach faster than anticipated.

“Fuck yes right there baby” You moaned feeling the tip of his cock hit that special spot over and over. Bucky’s grasp on your hips became tighter as his orgasm approached as well. The room was filled with the noises of skin slapping and the wet sounds of your soaked pussy. And the air was thick with the smell of sex and Bucky’s cologne.

“Gonna fill you up bunny. Gonna fucking breed this tight pussy” He groaned as his thrusts began to falter. Your orgasm ripped through your abs your back arched as you came with a scream. Bucky’s orgasm came right after yours and he made good on his word and filled you up.

“Oh fuck Jamie” You moaned when he fucked his seed into you making sure none would leak out.

“Gonna make you a mommy” He said before he pulled out of you with a soft groan. The both of you were panting messes as you laid on your bed. After he caught his breath he pulled you on top on him and gave you a kiss.

“I love you y/n. I’m sorry i pushed you away. I’m sorry i made you feel like i didn’t want to. I love you more than anything and i swear to you is you’re mine i’ll make it up to you everyday of my life” He said genuinely as his thumb rubbed your cheek.

Hearing those words from him made your heart swell and your eyes water. “I love you too Bucky” You said tearfully bringing him into a deep yet soft kiss. Everything you’ve ever wanted is fully coming true and you couldn’t be happier.

That night the two of you proved your love for each other in every way possible. He told you throughout the whole night just how much he loved you. And you told him just how much he meant to you before you two fell into a blissful sleep.

~The end ~

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cosmicbucky · 7 months

Text

daisies and dances lead to heartfelt romances

summary: you offer to take bucky out a few times so he can practice what it's like to date in the modern world. unbeknownst to each other, both your offer and his acceptance have an ulterior motive

pairing: bucky barnes x female reader

word count: 3845

part: one

warnings: minor swearing, fluff, tony is a dick with a hidden agenda, some angst, soft/shy/grumpy bucky, pet names/nicknames, unknown but mutual pining, oblivious idiots in love, sad bucky, mentions of bucky's struggles

a/n: this is planned to be at least two parts, maybe three.

big thank you to @buckys-wintersoldier for encouraging and supporting me with this!!

《《《《 ♡ 》》》》

The compound was quiet, softly lit to guide your way to the kitchen. It was late in the night, but not too late that everyone was asleep. Your socked feet were silent on the cold floor, and as you made your way to the fridge you heard laughter coming from the main entertainment room. You smiled to yourself as you went to grab a bottle of juice, focusing in on the conversation being held.

"Come on man! You can't be serious," you heard Sam say, laughter clear in his voice.

"Just drop it, Sam," Bucky replied, warning clear in his voice.

The smile slipped from your face as you closed the fridge with a sigh. You knew that tone. It wasn't Bucky's patented 'my god these people are so annoying' tone. It was his 'the next person who says something is getting thrown into a wall' tone. Which meant he was actually upset over whatever the conversation was about. It was rare for him to really get worked up beyond his usual moody demeanor, and you couldn't help the worry that surged through you.

"Oh, no. No, no this is way too good to drop, Barnes," Tony chimed in with a laugh. You could just picture the smirk on his face, and your feet moved quickly to carry yourself towards the conversation.

Bucky noticed you approach from where he sat, and he sent you a pleading look. Please help me, his eyes screamed.

"Don't tell me you guys are picking on Bucky again," you said, trying to sound casual as you leaned against the wall.

"You mean grumpy mcgee over here? You bet your ass we are," Tony replied happily.

You sighed, rolling your eyes at him. "Why now?"

"This dude can't date to save his life!" Sam spoke up, overly amused about it.

Bucky sank further into the couch, crossing his arms over his chest as he zoned out to somewhere far away, and you felt a pang in your heart at the sight- how can such a large man manage to look so small; so defeated?

"You guys are roasting him because he hasn't been on a date yet?" you asked, your annoyance about it clear in your voice.

It may be a little strange, but you had always felt protective over Bucky. The team often ganged up on him, and besides Steve, you were his closest friend - the two of you took a little while to warm up to each other, but once the ice thawed the two of you were rarely seen without the other. Now, it's not to say you never joined in on teasing him - because you did, quite often - but you knew when to stop. Perhaps it was because he would open up to you about some of the things he felt insecure about during your moonlit talks, the two of you tucked safely under blankets or hidden away somewhere in the compound as you spoke what neither of you could say in the light of day. Or, maybe it was because you just knew him well enough to know whether a topic would upset him or not. Whatever the reason may be for it, you always knew what was okay to say and what wasn't. Bucky would never be able to say how much he appreciated you for that.

"Tinman's been on dates, didn't you know?" Tony asked, grinning at you mischievously. "He just blew them all."

You tried not to let the hurt show on your face. He's been on dates? God, of course he has, look at him.

"Okay, and? You've never had bad dates before?" you asked, letting the anger start to shine through. "Just leave him alone."

Tony rolled his eyes. "Awe, look at that. Mommy dearest to the rescue once again, huh, Barnes?"

You stood up straight as rage surged through you, opening your mouth to tell him where to go. Before you could, Bucky's voice rang out: "Watch your fucking mouth, Stark. Or I'll shut you up myself," he warned, voice eerily calm as he glared at Tony.

Bucky was never really one to speak up when others came at him, more or less just taking it with an eye roll, clenched jaw, or tight smile as they all had their fun. However, once the comments turned towards you, as they always seemed to if you were around (and let's be honest, how often were you not around?), he was quick on his feet to stop them in their tracks, making the room feel so tense that no one else said anything for fear the air around them would actually suffocate them if they opened their mouth.

"Here we go again," you heard Sam mutter to himself. "Alright, I'm out of here. See you guys later," he added, walking out of the room with his hands up in a display of surrender.

He gave you a knowing look as he walked out, ignoring your questioning gaze and instead giving you a loving pat on the shoulder as he passed by. With him now out of sight, you turn your attention back to Tony, waiting for what was to come next.

"Look, all I'm saying-" Tony started, waving his glass around emphatically - amber liquid on the verge of splashing everywhere.

"No one cares what you're saying, Tony," you interrupted, already exasperated from the interaction.

He held up his hand, pointing a finger at you. "Come on, princess. You really gonna take away my fun? Under my own roof?"

"Yes, I am. Can't you take a day off from being a complete dick to him? Just once? We've all seen this show before, Tony, and it always ends the same way," you said, walking further into the room to snatch the glass from his hand, glaring at him as you did so. "And don't call me princess," you seethed, slamming the glass down on the side table behind you.

You didn't want to hate Tony, in all honesty you truly did love him. At the end of the day he was your family, and family wasn't perfect. However, you couldn't keep down the small bubbles of hatred that boiled inside you whenever he started to target Bucky. You didn't see him as family when he waved his disdain for the soldier around like a kite in the wind; you just saw him as a rich douchebag picking on someone beneath him. You hated the way he treated Bucky, and you absolutely loathed the way he made Bucky's voice tremble ever so slightly with self doubt when he lays in your arms in the dead of night, recounting the things Tony said to him that keep him awake, that make old wounds reopen. You loved Tony, but his hatred for Bucky also made you hate him.

"No? Do you only like it when RoboCop calls you that?" Tony asked calmly, a malicious glint shining in his eyes, his smirk growing wider when he saw your expression.

You felt the blood rush to your face, recounting a few of the times that the name had slipped through Bucky's lips; though it was from the haze of sleep and moments of vulnerability, there were few memories you cherished more. "Go to sleep now, princess. I'll be here when you wake up." "Thank you for staying with me, princess." "You're safe now, princess."

"Yeah, I hear a lot of things around here that I probably shouldn't. Now, why don't you lighten up and let me say my piece, princess?" Tony continued with a grin, and it took everything in you to not smack it off his face.

"I'm gonna fucking kill you," Bucky suddenly spat, making you jump slightly - he had fallen so silent you half forgot he was even there. The menace that dripped from his words sent a chill down your spine, and you sent one last glare at Tony before you glanced over your shoulder.

One look over at Bucky as he jumped from the couch told you he had never been more serious. His jaw was tight as his lips pressed together in a fine line, his fists clenched so tightly that the mechanisms in his left arm started to whir and the veins in his right arm shone prominently, his whole body tense as his chest heaved. He took two quick steps forward, but the second you raised your hand to his chest he stopped.

"Buck, it's alright," you said calmly. You knew it wasn't - you were angry, hurt, embarrassed, and a million other things; but you couldn't let Bucky in on that. You had to brush it all off so you could be the calm that Bucky needed in order to tame the never ending storm raging furiously inside him.

Bucky looked down at you with narrowed eyes, as if he didn't understand a word you said. "I'm supposed to just let him talk to you like that?"

If it weren't for the seriousness of the moment, you would have blushed from his words. Instead, you huffed and lightly shoved him away. "Yes, because you're feeding into exactly what he wants, Bucky. You know all he wants is to mess with you."

"Not true," Tony chimed in from behind you. "I want lots of things, pumpkin. In fact, one of those things is Pepper, so I'll be going now. And hey, when you and soldier boy here finally get married, just remember - I'm ordained."

You spared a glance in his direction just in time to see his shit-eating grin before he turned and sauntered happily out of the room.

"Can you two ever give me a fucking break?" you scolded, crossing your arms over your chest.

"Aw don't you start now, too," Bucky whined, tossing his head back slightly as he sighed, making his way back to the couch.

You sighed as well, following in his wake to plop down beside him. You didn't need to say anything, he took one look at you and knew the question that was already dancing on your tongue: what was it about this time?

"Look, it doesn't matter," he huffed out, slumping his shoulders as he looked down at his hands resting on his lap, wringing his fingers together.

“Come on, when have I ever let it go that easily?” you asked, nudging his shoulder.

He let out a humourless chuckle, the corners of his mouth flicking upwards for the briefest of moments as the memories of the countless times you two have been in this situation flashed through his mind.

You could see the turmoil on his face, and you knew he was trying to find a way to express what was going on, so you sat patiently and waited for him to find the proper words.

“I don’t know what the hell I’m doing,” he finally settled on, the words coming out in a rushed breath.

Before you could question him, he carried on with a frown, his brows knit together. “It was so much easier back then, you know? Flash a smile, go to the fair, wear the uniform, whatever. I never had to think about it, but now there’s- there’s just so much…. so much expectation. You bring flowers and you care too much, you don’t bring flowers and you don’t care enough. I-it’s like everything that I do, I should have done the opposite. I can’t get anything right.”

You sat in silence for a moment, his words bouncing around in your head. Each syllable he spoke fractured your heart until it was shattered into bits; but all you cared about as you looked at the broken man in front of you was putting him back together, hoping that your words and your comfort and your care would be enough to put together the delicate pieces of him - the pieces that broke off every time he doubted himself, every time he remembered his past, every time he did something wrong on a mission - the pieces that you picked up and kept safe inside of yourself until you had the chance to give them back to him, gluing them on with whispers of affirmation and promises that everything would be okay in time.

“You never mentioned any of this before,” you said tentatively, the unspoken words why did you keep this from me? hanging in the air. “Is this what they were teasing you about? Your struggle to figure out how to date again?”

He let out a huff of air as he slung his head back to rest against the back of the couch, shaking it lightly as he stared up at the ceiling, his jaw flexing with contemplation. “I didn’t want it to be a big deal, but then Jackass 1 and Jackass 2 found out and ran with it.”

“Okay, well.. walk me through it. Is there someone you want to take out on a date right now? Maybe I can give you some ideas,” you offered softly, the words tasting bitter in your mouth as you spoke them.

He groaned, running his hands over his face before smacking them back down on his legs, his palms dragging across the fabric covering his thighs for a few seconds; a habit, you noticed, that he often did when he was nervous or uncomfortable. “No,” he said flatly, biting down on his tongue to keep the words yes, my delicate little flower, I want to take you out on a date from tumbling out of his mouth.

“No?” you echoed, surprised by the response.

He nodded his head in confirmation. “No,” he repeated, looking at you. Taking in your expression, he carried on. “Like, no there isn’t anyone. I don’t- I didn’t even want to go on those dates, but… I couldn’t- I mean, I kinda just…. felt like I needed to."

There was so much he left unsaid at this moment. So much he wanted to say, needed to say - not only just to get it off his chest, but because he believed that you deserved to know. Every time he looked at you he had the burning desire to bare his soul to you, to tell you all the things he kept buried away in the deep recesses of his mind, locked away in a vault only you could open. He wanted to tell you that he still feels so out of place, that most days when he was out in this new world he suddenly resembled a child who was lost amongst a crowd of scary and unfamiliar things - desperately searching for something he recognized that he could cling to. He wanted to tell you that you were the familiar thing he found to cling to, that he carried you in his head and in his heart every time he was out; that when things got too overwhelming he closed his eyes and recalled the encouraging words you always told him, that when that wasn't enough he called you with some lame excuse just so he could ground himself with your voice - "Hey, doll. What was the name of that bakery you took me to the other week? I'm thinking of getting more of those cookies we liked." He had saved the bakery's location to his phone (something he knew how to do thanks to you) the second he saw how your eyes sparkled when you got there, just to make sure he could always find it and pick things up for you. "Hey, so, I just got yelled at because I walked by and ruined someone's… what the fuck was it? It has to do with a clock or something? Does that sound like something you know? Please tell me what the hell that is because I feel like I'm going insane." He knew what it was. He had downloaded the app after he witnessed how much it made you laugh, and he had an endless amount of saved videos that he thought you would like, but for some reason wasn't brave enough to show you. "Okay, I’m out shopping - and don't laugh because this is a serious question - do you think I would look good in pink?" He vividly remembered your words from a few months ago, when he was burritoed in your fuzzy pink blanket during movie night, and you told him so casually that he should start wearing pink because it complimented his eyes. He wanted to tell you that you were the only thing in this universe that could still the incessant maelstrom that was his mind. That when he was out on those dates the storm raged on more intensely than ever, but one look or word from you and everything was quiet; not even a trace of rain.

He wanted to tell you. But he didn't. He couldn't. He wouldn't. Oh, but he needed to-

"You wanted to try to fit in," your gentle voice pulled him from his thoughts, his head snapping to look at you. To see your eyes, full of understanding. To see your lips, pulled into a sad smile - but not one of pity, one that said all you wanted was to help him through yet another battle he was fighting with himself.

"Yeah," he sighed. "Yeah. I guess I just figured.. well, I don't know. Everyone kept saying how I needed to get out there. That dating was the next best step I could take to try and….. to- to understand how to live in this world better. I just wanted things to make sense again, but now I'm even more lost and confused than before I even went on those god damn dates."

You tried to keep your face even, to not let him see how sad it made you to hear the way his voice wavered when he told you what was going on. To not let him know that you sensed how small he was feeling, how even though his broad frame still shadowed you as you both sat there, he had never seemed so small.

"Well…. take me on a date," you suggested, not taking the time to even think about it.

Bucky swore the whole room started to spin. His mouth ran dry and his heart hammered so heavily in his chest that he was convinced you could hear it. He knew he heard you wrong, he wasn't lucky enough to have a girl like you. The world was cruel, and he knew that the one sliver of hope that he had for a truly blissful life would never be fully his. That one day it would leave him, just like everything else throughout the years, as you found yourself in the arms of someone else. He would never have you the way he wanted you, the way he needed you. He knew that. So he had to have misheard you. "Come again?"

Your whole face lit up when he asked this, and Bucky could feel himself coming undone. Your hands on his arm when you grabbed him in excitement suddenly felt so different than in the past. It used to feel warm, comforting, calming; but for some reason this time it sent a jolt of fire and electricity through him, and he never wanted to lose that feeling. He wanted to feel it again, feel it always, feel it forever.

“Yeah! Oh, it would be great, Buck! We can go on a few dates, and I can help you find your footing with it all before you get back out there,” you said excitedly. You purposely overinflated your smile so he wouldn’t see the way your lips faltered with the struggle of getting out the last part, diverting your gaze for the smallest of moments so he wouldn’t see the way your eyes dimmed with the thought of him being with someone else.

Bucky shifted where he sat, opening and closing his mouth a few times as his mind went into overdrive trying to think of a response. Every fiber of his being was screaming at him to say yes, but then there was a small piece of him that knew it wouldn’t end well - the piece that knew how he truly felt about you, the piece that knew it would easily be tricked into thinking these dates actually meant something to you; because lord knows they would mean the world and more to him. Bucky wanted to say yes, but he knew he had to say no. He had to say no because it wouldn’t be fair to you - you were offering to help him and he would be taking advantage of your kindness, using it to get to see you in a light he’d never be able to otherwise. He had to say no because saying yes could ruin everything. He may not be able to go back to the way it was before these dates, too addicted to ever quit you. He had to say no, for your sake, because it was a selfless offer. Bucky, however, was selfish when it came to you.

“You know, doll… that may not be the worst idea I’ve ever heard,” he had said, giving you a lopsided smile. Your eyes lit up once more as you grinned at him, and no matter how hard he tried to keep his composure he couldn’t help but mirror your expression, feeling as giddy as he did the first time he was allowed to stay up late as a kid.

“Excellent choice, Barnes,” you said playfully. “I swear you won’t regret it, it’ll be really fun. Just you and me, no expectations.”

Bucky nodded, shifting his head to scratch his jaw so you wouldn’t see the light frown that danced across his lips for a moment. “No expectations,” he repeated, careful to keep his voice level. “I can work with that.”

“Good,” you said softly, nodding a little. “I’ll give you some time to think about it and plan something, and you can just let me know whenever you wanna go on date number one.”

He was silent for a minute, taking the time to carefully churn the words over in his mind before answering. He didn’t want to make it obvious, but he knew immediately what he wanted to do. How could he not? All he ever did was look for new things he thinks you’d like, find himself dreaming of where he’d take you if he ever got the chance. Sure, you guys have done lots of things together before - brunches, lunches, dinners, movie nights, events, parties; you name it. Though there was never any meaning with any of those, it was always just friends spending time together. How were either of you supposed to know you each wished they meant something more? Heaven forbid you two would actually say how you felt.

"No need," Bucky said, rising from the couch with a small chuckle, looking down at you with the smile he reserved only for you. The one that skillfully said everything and nothing all at once. “Lunch. Tomorrow.”

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imtryingbuck · 7 months

Text

Clingy

~ gif not mine credit to owner ~

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Summary: Bucky overhears his girlfriend calling him clingy

Word count: 1243

Warnings: sad Bucky and swearing

A/N: whilst editing this I realised that Alpines a girl but just for the sake of this story we’re going to pretend she’s a boy🙃

Masterlist

Bucky had a massive smile planted on his face as he left the bedroom he shares with his girlfriend and cat; he was so proud of himself for finally mastering online shopping - he just ordered a huge cat tree for Alpine. To others it wouldn’t have been important but for him it was an accomplishment he was excited to share with his girl.

With a little bounce in his step, he was about to turn the corner to where the common room was when he comes to a stop.

“-I’m telling you Nat it’s annoying” he smiles at the voice that has soothed him to sleep more times than one “he’s so clingy, always wanting to lay on me, always following me around, trying to kiss me whilst I’m eating! It’s like he always needs to be touching me at every given moment, God he’s so needy” his heart breaks not only at the words but at how frustrated she sounds. He really didn’t mean to be clingy and needy, there was no doubt in his or anyone’s minds that he was in love with her, everyone always mocked about how he was her shadow, but he didn’t care. Being her shadow was his way of showing her that he loves her and that he was always going to be there, that no one was ever going to hurt her.

Not having the heart to hear the rest he turns around and walk back to their shared room, determination running through his veins he was going to change. He didn’t want to lose her. The last thing he hears is Natasha laughing.

“Y/N he’s a cat! He loves you” Natasha chuckles.

“Yeah but still… it’s annoying. Because the worst part is that he only does it when Bucky isn’t there” Nat tries really hard not to laugh at the pout on the other woman’s face. It doesn’t take long for both burst out laughing.

~~~

Throughout the week Y/n notices something wrong with Bucky, it wasn’t normal for him to be out of bed before her - not anymore at least - he didn’t want to cuddle up with her anymore, the kisses were quick. It was hurting her; she was missing him even though he was close by. It wasn’t just her that noticed Bucky’s strange behaviour.

“What’s going on with you and Mr grumpy pants?” Sam asks as he hands her a fresh cup of tea.

“I don’t know Sammy, he’s been distant this past week and I don’t know what I’ve done”

“Have you guys argued?”

“No” taking careful sips of the hot beverage “the last time we argued was when I took that bullet for him and that was like what three months ago? We only argued for about an hour before we made up.”

“Wait… seriously that was the last time you argued?”

“Yep, we don’t argue about anything. Yes, we have disagreements about everything and anything, but it never leads to us fighting. But we also come to a mutual agreement on whatever we’re disagreeing with.”

“Okay okay” he puts on his concentration face on as she always puts it “have you took any bullets for him recently?” chuckling when he receives a deadpan look.

“No Sam I haven’t taken any bullets for him recently” rolling her eyes as she sets the now empty cup down “I honestly don’t know what I’ve done, I miss him.”

Standing up and placing a kiss to her temple “Go and talk to him, it’s breaking my heart seeing you both sad and mopey.”

“I will, thanks Falc”

Instead of going to find Bucky she grabbed her coat and bag and headed down to the garage, once she was inside her car she drove to the store.

The bed was covered in all different kind of snacks and drinks, her plan was to sit him down and talk then they’ll spend the rest of the night in bed watching movies and filling their faces. Making her way out of the room she went to track down her boyfriend - finding him in the gym.

“Hi bubba, can you finish up here and come with me” instantly not liking how her voice sounds.

“Um okay just give me a minute.”

“Of course.”

“Im done, where we going.?” Bucky’s right hand twitches to reach out to hold hers but all he does is shoves it in his pocket.

“Back to our room. We need to talk Buck”

He was prepared to drop to his knees and beg for her not to break up with him, promises on the tip of his tongue that he’d change and be better. Before he could utter a word, they had arrived at their room. The door was closed softly behind them whilst his head was bowed downwards finding his shoes more interesting.

“Buck I don’t know what I’ve done wrong but I’m sorry I don-“

“I heard you”

“What?”

“I heard you talking to Nat about me being clingy and needy and annoying and I’m trying baby really I am. I gave you space, Im keeping distant because I love you and I don’t want you to break up with me an-“

“Bucky breath! Here sit down, focus on your breathing bubba” Moving him to sit on the sofa that was in their room, she knelt down in front of him going through his breathing exercises.

It took nearly 10 minutes for him to get his breathing under control, leaving him feeling more ashamed as always after he had a panic attack “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry” he manages to rasp out.

“I’ll tell you what I always tell you when you have panic attacks - don’t apologise. It’s okay bubba I promise, I’ve got you” taking his hands into hers so rubs her thumbs over his flesh and metal knuckles “I wasn’t talking about you that day Buck, I was talking about Alpine. He followed me and Nat into the common room and Nat made a comment, I was talking about how he only wants me when you’re not around. Oh bubba you actually thought I was talking about you?” Taking one of her hands from his she wipes the stray tear that rolls down his cheek as he nods “Bucky I love it when you’re all over me, I love knowing that I’m never alone because your always there. I have never once thought you was clingy not once! I love you Buck and I love the attention you give me and affection you show me. Please bubba understand that”

“I love you too” bringing up her hand in his metal one “I’m sorry for overreacting baby I should of spoken to you”

“Give me a kiss and all is forgiven” she grins cheekily.

He pulls her on to his lap and kisses her, both sighs contentedly as they share their first kiss in a week little pants of air leaves their lips once they detach from one another.

“I brought snacks and drinks so how about me and you get into bed watch movies, eat, cuddle and maybe some other activities?” She says with a suggestive tone with one eyebrow raised.

Bucky chuckles when a squeal interrupts him standing up.

The third film has finished, not like they were watching - to busy doing other activities - they lay tangled with one another.

“I brought Alpine a new cat tree off the Amazon.”

~ banners credit goes to @sweetpeapod ~

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samodivaa · 11 months

Text

Deny the truth,set my world on fire (Part 1)

Bucky Barnes x Reader (Winter Soldier x Reader)

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧ Part 2⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ Part 3 ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆* Part 4⋆*･ﾟ:⋆* He knew that she was having an affair...she denies, but the love marks on her body are still there. She can't tell him the truth, it will break him - the Winter Soldier is indeed inside of him, fucking her at night and Bucky doesn't remember. ✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧ Warnings - heavy angst, betrayal, smut, non consensual, dom!Soldat. rough!Soldat Words - 2000

Bucky was already waiting on the couch, tormented by the decision he has made – to confront her. Y/n enters their shared apartment, carelessly smiling at him. She seemed so generous about her love – a constant presence and support since the fight on the airport years ago. Grace and patience and consideration is what she made him master once again, these little qualities are in his control, thanks to her kind soul. Y/n helped him forgive himself and he chose to return love and compassion, chose to fight his past. Wakanda was their secret - beautiful and peaceful. Her heart was born open and although his hands were empty at the time, he filled them with the soft fire made from the two ember eyes. The dreamy mind is full, overflows with tender memories… When she enters a room, it blazes with red, pink, roses, but behind her blossomed spirit stood a façade he was not aware of. The floral presence is poisoned, spreading into him. And just like the deadly nightshade, she is indeed is a poisonous flower.

"How long has this been going on?" he asks coldly, taking a sip of his bottle before putting it back on the table. A stressed dove, mournfully looking at her as he gets up. "How long?" he asks again. „Bucky, what is the matter with you?“ There won’t be a chance of escape, he steps closer, towering over her as some sort of a warning. He just came back to life, laying under the warmth of it and is already being burned by the person who he trusted the most. Abstained for far too long, he needs to hear her says it – he needs the truth to devour his life. "Can I ask what happened to your neck?" pointing to her neck, his tone is still neutral, but his eyes are exhausted by the phantom following his mind the past days. Love makes knots, now it is brutally tearing them apart. He ran from the darkness of his nightmares for so long, only to find himself in a situation darker still. „I don’t know“ she is wearing a turtleneck shirt, she hates those – inside she is crumbling as much as her lies. “You don’t know?” his tone strays to the realms of anger – it consumes him, fear ensnares her until her back hits the wall behind, Bucky not withdrawing from her face even for a moment “Who was it?“

"No one, Bucky" she manages to retain her posture, not giving him the satisfaction of telling the truth. The blade of her words hit a nerve. "You’re terrible at lying" He crosses his hands, nails digging into his arms. Silence looms for a while before he nods, his dearest love painting his misery and his eyes ache with the weight of the unspoken truth. “So no explanation, got it" „I don’t know how I got them…“ Bucky’s eyes narrow slightly, trying to shackle his intention of breaking something. "So you have no idea what happened to your neck? Are you making fun of me or do you have brain damage“ his tone finally rises as he takes the collar of her shirt between his metal fingers, pulling it down rashly to reveal the bite marks. The image wraps around his throat as a wreath of spikes. “Who did that to your neck, because I am sure that it was not me“ „Jesus Bucky, why are you so angry, I didn’t do anything. We literally spend most-“ He laughs devilishly, still holding her by the colar. “Just so many bad things happening in my life. Nothing important, nothing new, just one thing after another, you know?” There is no such thing as life for him , it's just catastrophe. Unmoored and alone, his eyes become full of tears. The only still part is his body. He gives her one more chance to say something, to explain herself in any way, but the silence is pain chiselled forever into his chest, it hurts more than words. "Don’t be angry, please…let me go…“ "Don’t be angry…don’t be angry" he whispers as a lullaby, staring into her teary eyes. His eyebrows furrowed at her audacity to even cry. "We shared a life and you to cheated on me" His favorite beauty and terror on myriad levels keep her silence. He decides to let go of her collar, his fingers clenching to fists as their drop weightlessly to the sides of his body. "You expect me to believe this…? Really, y/n?” he says , his expression is still angry, but it appears softer "If you didn’t want to tell me because you‘re afraid, it‘s fine. Just be honest and tell me that, why are you still lying? That hurts me more than you think." „I am not…“ He stands there unmoving, staring at her and it seems like he‘s still processing this realty of her not having any concern towards him. Her mind is resting whilst his is grieving, wondering and reasoning. He can’t gain control of his dreadful spirit, he is the shell he was back at Wakanda. A tear runs down from the wet, dreamful eyes, landing on his cheek as he looks down, trying to hide it from her. Bucky takes a step away from her and rubs his eyes. His hands are shaking and it‘s obvious that he doesn’t want to cry in front of her. Their love is his apparition, a figment of his imagination. He observe her for a moment, he is dying in that house, buried underneath the floor of their shared past and she just watches it unfold. Bucky finally shakes his head in disbelief. "So you‘re telling me you have no idea where that bruise came from?" a weak laugh escapes his lips, choking back a sob. „You’re lying, I know it“ he says in a calm voice, but there was a quiet threat hidden beneath it. „I don’t want to leave, Bucky“ "And I don‘t want to get cheated on" he counters with an angry scream as his pain is infinite at this point. All kind of thoughts stirring inside of him. „I won’t say it wasn’t meant to be, because it was. We were. Only for a short while, maybe. But we were.“ It makes him tremble to remember their daily life, but now he is unsure which pain is worse: the shock of what happened or the ache for what never will. „I can’t tell you...I can’t...I will leave“ she whispers, having found a comfort in hiding. "Fine, leave then!” Bucky snarls, before he spins around as his heavy footsteps resonate through the quiet room, but he stops himself to look at her for the last time – the end of the line.

Bucky watches her leave, already nostalgic for his love. He doesn’t say a word, not even bothering to close the door as he stands in the doorstep, watching her go. Y/n notices him staring from the darkness of the doorway as she makes her way into the world. Bucky’s inner self is shutting down more and more, as though to protect himself, but it became inaccessible even to himself. Over the next couple of days, Bucky shuts himself completely in his lonely home. He only leaves the apartment to buy alcohol and some food. His days are spent either drinking or sleeping, and when he‘s awake and sober, he just sits on the couch blankly, staring at the wall. He is composed of nothing, but illness – a phantom built out of pain. The days turn to weeks. With his heart broken, he despises life. Rising from a grave with each morning, wallowing in his sadness and alcohol. („What went wrong...Did I do something wrong?”) he wonders for weeks repeatedly, tears again rolling down his cheeks. „What did I do to deserve this“ he screams, slamming his metal fist into the wall, there is nothing but a stain in his heart, it grew – infecting the whole heart. He slowly slides down, sitting on the ground as he buries his head into his arms and starts to cry.

- Two days before she left - „Bucky, baby…I don’t wanna do anything tonight, let’s just sleep“ he was getting harder and harder, pressing into her back to let her know. He whispers in her ear, but the voice is huskier than usual and filled with seduction „Цветок...“ (Flower) Bucky’s control is slipping once again and y/n gups at the realization. The metal grip tightens on her hip, drawing her even closer to his clothed cock. Fingers pass through the fabric of the nightdress, pulling it upwards to reveal her butt cheeks. His warm hand, spilled under her body proceeding to lightly trace his fingers over her nipple. She knows to her remove the panties by herself, not wanting to anger the Soldier from the very beginning as it happened last time. He groans, closing his eyes to savor the scent of her hair. Vibranium fingers digs his into her soft skin, leaving prints of evidence. „No, don’t…please…he will see“ she desperately tries to voice her concern, knowing there is no way of fighting him in this state. „Пусть он увидит…“ (let him see) His breath fanned the skin of her neck, sending chills to the bone.

He dragged his length through her wetness, pushing in fully leaving y/n with no time to adjust. Tears roll down her beautiful face, why this keeps on happening? The warm touches of his human arm move to from her nipple to her stomach „Я хочу ребенка...да.“ (I want a baby…yes) She takes a deep breath, sometimes regret settles in for not telling Bucky that the Winter Soldier was very present and real. He never seems to remember, they operate as different people. She whimpers at the cold touch to her clit, he was flicking it, making her body shake. His hand returns to her hip, grabbing it harshly as he starts thrusting deeply. His pace becomes erratic, being closer to his orgasm. Soldat forcefully holds her in place so he can fill her with hot cum. Her reality hurts so much. She wants to get away, but when she had tried before – resulted in him being close to sadistic. His fingers trail to her hair, removing it from her neck and he sinks his teeth. Goosebumps trickle up there, from fear, from pain as he slowly turns her head towards him – there is no sight of Bucky.

#winter soldier fanfiction #winter soldier x y/n #winter solider imagine #winter soldier x reader #winter soldier x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x reader #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes x you #winter soldier imagine #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes x f #bucky barnes x female reader #dark fanfiction #angst

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buckyispunk · 6 months

Text

Ocean Blue

Aloha Chapter Two ~ Bucky Barnes x f!Reader (no use of Y/N)

read Aloha part one here!!

masterlist

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (no use of Y/N)

Summary: After a great day of playing football with Bucky and his friends, he plans an excursion for you. However, Bucky might not be as perfect as he seems.

A/N: thank you to everyone who liked, commented on, or reblogged chapter one! I was so so so thrilled with how well the first part did and I'm glad you all enjoyed it!

Warnings: facefucking, exhibitionism (dressing room shenanigans), brief fingering, discussion of unhealthy relationships, mention of cheating, bit of a praise kink, orgasm denial, come eating, dom!Bucky and his filthy mouth, drinking, insecure reader, self-deprecating thoughts, please lmk if I missed anything

Word Count: 8.6k

You feel the heat from the sun’s rays shining on you through the windows before you even open your eyes. You also feel a solid mass under your chest and it isn’t until you open your eyes that you remember the previous night. Bucky is underneath you - still sleeping if his soft snores are anything to go by. You feel your lips turn up into a smile as memories of last night play through your mind.

His arm is draped over your body, securing you to him. You try to gently pull his arm off you so you can get up, but his bicep flexes as he subconsciously pulls you in closer. As much as you’d like to stay here cuddled up with Bucky all morning, you have to pee. You nuzzle into his chest and begin to pepper kisses across his toned pecs.

Bucky rustles above you and you hear a soft hum as he wakes.

“Mornin, doll,” he keeps you close to his chest with one arm and raises his other to run through his hair.

You turn to look up at him and he leans down to press his lips to your forehead.

“How’d you sleep?” his morning voice is deep and gravelly.

“Really good. You?” you hold back a giggle at his tousled hair.

“Amazing, hon.”

“Glad to hear it, Buck. Hate to ruin the moment, but you have to let me up so I can pee.”

“Says who?” he uses both arms to hug you tighter into his chest.

You gently slap his bulging arms and squeal, “Bucky! Let me up!”

Bucky scrunches his face up as if in thought. “Fine, but it’ll cost you. One kiss.”

“Ew, I have morning breath.”

“Don’t care, doll,” he guides your face to his and leans in to take his payment.

After a couple of seconds, he releases you from his grasp. It isn’t until you’re about to pull the covers off of you that you realize you’re naked. Sure, he saw everything last night, but it’s different in the light of day when you don’t have any alcohol in your system.

“Um,” your cheeks heat as you sit on the edge of the bed, covers pulled tight around your body, “could you, uh, look away for a minute?”

“Doll, you’re beautiful and you don’t have anything to be ashamed of. But if it’ll make you more comfortable then of course I will.”

He rolls over onto his stomach and presses his face into his pillow. You lean over and plant a kiss on his shoulder blade before jumping up and running to the bathroom. You go pee and brush your teeth before grabbing one of soft bathrobes with the resorts logo on the breast and tying it around your waist. When you open the bathroom door, Bucky is standing, pulling on his boxers.

“Would you wanna go get breakfast with me?” he asks, adjusting the elastic of his underwear.

“That sounds great.”

Bucky smiles and gathers his clothes from the floor, blush forming across his face as he does so. With an armful of clothes, he turns to look at you.

“I just want you to know, I don’t usually do that. Sleep with girls I just met- I mean. I mean, yeah I’ve done it before,” he begins to ramble, “but like, not often. I just felt like there was something between us and you were just so gorgeous last night, you’re still gorgeous. Shit, I’m so-”

You cut him off with a hand on his bare shoulder before he gets any farther.

“Bucky, it’s okay. I understand what you mean. I don’t normally do stuff like this either.”

“Well, I’m gonna go to my room to put on some different clothes. I’ll come back in a couple of minutes and we can go downstairs?” he starts to pull on his dress pants from last night. He pulls the wrinkled button up over his shoulders, not bothering with the buttons.

He holds his shoes and belt in one hand as he makes for the door. He opens the door and steps out. You follow him, standing in the doorway. Before you have a chance to say goodbye, you hear a familiar voice coming from over Bucky’s shoulder.

“Nice clothes, Buck!” Sam is walking down the hallway toward the two of you, Steve beside him. “We didn’t hear you come back to your room last night,” Sam continues his teasing.

Bucky lets out an exasperated sigh before turning to face his friends. You’re mortified that they’ve caught you. But at the same time, you want to laugh at the murderous look on Bucky’s face.

“Not another word, Sam,” he goes to hold up his hand, as if in warning, before remembering that his belt is dangling from his fingers, and quickly lowers it, trying too late to hide further evidence.

Sam doubles over laughing, meanwhile Steve stands still as a statue, eyes trained on the ground. He looks almost as embarrassed as you do.

“We were just headed downstairs,” the blond explains.

“Sorry, Barnes,” Sam says your name and nods at you, “I’ll leave you to continue your walk of shame,” he lets out another roaring laugh, slapping Bucky on the shoulder before continuing down the hallway, Steve in tow.

The blond looks up to give you a sheepish smile, “I’m sorry,” he mouths an apology to you.

Once his friends are gone, Bucky turns to you. “I swear to god, I’ll kill him if you want me to,” he says with a straight face.

You laugh at him, “It’s fine, Bucky. He’s just being funny.”

Bucky gives you a thankful smile and leans down and pecks your lips before making his way to his room.

“I’ll be back in a couple minutes!” he calls to you.

When Bucky knocks on your room door exactly two minutes later, you’re running a brush through your hair. You had thrown on a pair of shorts and a tank top.

“Just a second!” you call out.

You grab your things and slip a pair of flip flops on before opening the door. Bucky apologizes again for Sam’s bevahior and you tell him not to worry - you enjoy the lighthearted fun. You grab plates and get in line for the buffet.

Bucky piles his plate with so much food that you’re worried it’s about to start falling off. He reaches for the tongs to add bacon to his stack of food.

“There is no way you can fit any more food on that plate,” you look at him in disbelief.

How is he planning on eating that much?

Bucky grins at you before taking the bacon from the tongs and sticking it directly into his mouth, giving you a smirk.

“That better, sweetheart?” he mumbles around a mouthful of food.

You roll your eyes at him and walk to the first empty table you see. Bucky follows behind a minute later with his plate and two cups of orange juice, you’re mildly impressed at his ability to carry it all without spilling anything - like you surely would’ve. But then again, his hand dwarfs the cups of juice, so you suppose that helps. He sits down across from you and sets one of the plastic cups in front of you.

“Thank you,” you tell him after swallowing your bite of food.

“‘Course, doll,” he answers around a mouthful of toast.

You figure it’s just your luck when Brock and Marissa walk into the dining room. Did they eat breakfast at the same time as you every day? You let out a sigh, hoping they don’t see you. You really don’t feel like explaining who Bucky is, Hi, Brock! This is the guy I just met who called me “his girl” when I slept with him last night, isn’t he great?

Bucky turns to follow your eyeline, landing on the couple.

“Is that…” he trails off.

“Yep. Brock and Marissa.”

He looks down and nods, dejected look on his face, “I can leave, if you want,” he offers. “I mean if you don’t want them to see you with me.” How is it that you just met this man, yet it appears he can read your mind?

You would never do that to Bucky, though. He didn’t deserve that. So what if Brock found out? You don’t have anything to be ashamed of. You’re a grown woman. You’re single and you decided to have some fun with a man who’s interested in you. It’s not like you’re the only person who’s ever had a one night stand - if that’s what you’d call this, anyway.

“Of course not, Bucky. I don’t care if they see us. Besides, you haven’t even started your cereal or your eggs.” This earns a grin from Bucky.

“Hey, you keep that up and you’re not getting any of my waffles,” he points his finger at you.

Brock and Marissa sit down. You try not to watch them - you really do. But they’re sat right in your line of sight and it makes it hard. Brock eats with one hand and scrolls through his phone with the other. Marissa does the same.

Bucky notices you watching them and turns to look. Marissa says something to which Brock just gives a noncommittal nod and continues scrolling. It’s no wonder he doesn’t see you with his face buried in his phone.

“Was he like that when you were with him?”

“Yeah. Especially toward the end. It was like he won me over at first by doing all this stuff for me and taking me out on dates. But then after a while he stopped doing all of that. I was lucky to have a conversation with him that lasted more than a couple of minutes.”

Bucky gives you a sad look. “I’m sorry doll. Glad you don’t have to put up with that anymore.” He mutters the next part under his breath so quietly you almost miss it, “Asshole didn’t deserve you.”

“What about you?”

He looks confused and you realize your question had been rather vague.

“Have you ever had any serious relationships?” you clarify.

“Yeah,” he nods, “Last serious one ended just before I got out of the army. I was on a nine month deployment. The distance was hard. I called her as often as I could, had flowers sent to her. We’d been together for years. Turns out she was cheating on me while I was overseas. Said she was lonely because I wasn’t home. Needed something more, I guess,” he shrugs, “Thought she was the one. Had the ring picked out and everything.”

“Oh my gosh,” your face drops. How could someone do such a thing? He was away serving his country and she had cheated on him? He had even sent her flowers while he was gone - Brock had never once gotten you flowers. “I am so sorry, Bucky. That’s terrible.” You can tell his mood has declined from talking about it and you’re not sure how to console him.

“Don’t worry about it, doll,” he gives you a forced smile. “Besides, it’s best that I found out when I did. I got all my money back for the ring,” he jokes, but his chuckle doesn’t meet his eyes.

You simply nod in agreement. You and Bucky finish eating in silence, reflecting on the heavy topics the two of you had discussed. Bucky downs the last of his orange juice and, as if nothing had happened, the grin is back on his face.

“Wanna go to the beach? If you’re not sick of me yet, that is.”

“Don’t think I could ever get sick of you,” you chuckle before realizing what you had just let slip.

You’re not sure what exactly your feelings are for Bucky, but it’s clear that there was an instant connection between the two of you. And last night made it obvious that it’s not just a platonic connection. Regardless, you don’t think you should reveal your cards to Bucky just yet.

He doesn’t need to know that he hasn’t left your mind since you first laid eyes on him across the bar. He doesn’t need to know that he’s made you happier in two days than anyone has in years. He doesn’t need to know that you’re not sure you could go another day for the rest of your life without seeing his blinding smile. But it’s too early to be having these thoughts. So you quickly stand and clear the table before Bucky has a chance to respond. You head to the elevator without another word. Bucky follows you, confused smile on his face.

Bucky leaves you in front of your room so that you can get changed and, for the second time today, he promises to be back in a couple of minutes. You change into your bikini and put your tanktop and shorts back on over it. It’s been about five minutes and Bucky still hasn’t come back to your room. You decide to take the time to pull out your phone and text Tess, your best friend back home, filling her in on everything that has happened with Bucky and his friends so far.

After you’ve finished updating Tess, Bucky still hasn’t come back. You wonder for a moment if he had changed his mind. Maybe he didn’t want to hang out with you anymore and this was just his way of getting rid of you. You only let those thoughts cloud your mind briefly before you snap out of it and realize that that was unlikely. He hadn’t shown any indications of wanting to get rid of you - the beach had been his idea. You decide to go to Bucky’s room.

You pad down the hall in your flip flops and stop in front of Bucky’s door. You hesitate for a second before raising your hand and rapping your knuckles against the wood. You hear muffled curses coming from the other side of the door before it opens a second later.

“Shit, doll, I’m so sorry,” Bucky answers the door. He’s still wearing his clothes from breakfast. He returns back into his room, leaving the door open for you to follow. “I can’t find my trunks anywhere.”

You step in and close the door behind you. His room is kind of a mess. There are piles of clothes scattered everywhere and you see why as he crouches down in front of his suitcase and begins throwing clothes out of it, desperately searching for his bathing suit.

“Whoa, Buck, calm down,” you hold back a laugh at his overly-frustrated state. “It’s just a pair of swim trunks. Did you only bring one pair?”

A visible heat creeps up Bucky’s cheeks, “Well I didn’t think I was gonna be in the water that much,” he explains.

“There’s a store down in the lobby, I’m sure they have some if you want to buy another pair.”

Bucky sighs and stands up, giving up on his search. “I’m sorry doll. You can go to the beach now if you want and I can meet you there after I find a new pair.”

“It’s not like I need to spend the entire day at the beach Bucky, we still have plenty of time. Besides, I want to look around for souvenirs.”

“Okay, doll,” he gives you a grateful smile.

The two of you make your way to the main floor, Bucky still obsessing over his trunks, I just don’t know where they could have gone.

Upon stepping into the resort’s store, you’re met with all sorts of fun souvenirs and brightly colored clothing. Bucky makes his way over to the swim wear section and you wander around, looking for gifts for your parents and Tess. You settle on a mini totem garden sculpture for your parents and a pretty bracelet for your best friend.

“Hey, doll!” Bucky peeks his head out from behind a dressing room door.

You hadn’t even noticed he’d gone into a dressing room. You make your way over to the stall he’s occupying and raise an eyebrow. “Find a pair of trunks?”

“Wanna come in and see them?” he grins and opens the door for you, but keeps his body hidden behind it.

“You need my help choosing a pair?” you sigh and step into the dressing room after setting down your gifts.

Bucky closes the door behind you and he’s shirtless, wearing only the pair of swim trunks he’s trying on. You drop your eyes to them and burst out laughing. The trunks say stop staring at my with a picture of a rooster underneath the words, directly over where his junk is. Bucky joins you in laughing.

“You just had to take your shirt off too, didn’t you?” you tease. Not that you’re complaining about the sight in front of you.

“Well we need to get the full effect so we can tell whether or not we like them,” he justifies, grin never leaving his lips.

“You’re not seriously getting those, are you?”

“Nah. You could follow the advice on them, though.”

“Please, Barnes. Says you,” you remember the way he’d stared at your bikini-clad body yesterday. “Besides, are you telling me you don’t like it?”

You turn to leave the dressing room and are stopped by a hand on your arm. Bucky grabs you and pulls you into a kiss. You deepen the kiss and he begins rutting into you, feeling his bulge rub against you. You know there’s people outside the dressing room. Anyone could overhear you if you or Bucky get too loud. But you don’t care about any of that as you sink to your knees on the dressing room floor. In fact, maybe it spurs you on a little.

Bucky stares down at you with wide eyes, jaw dropped. “Fuck, doll. What are you doing?”

You dip your fingers into the waistband of his boxers beneath the swim trunks, testing the waters. “Want to repay you for last night.”

“Doll, you don’t have to do that. Are you sure?”

You ever so slightly start to pull down the trunks along with his underwear and look up to him for permission before continuing. He gives you a nod, a look of awe spread across his face. You drag them all the way down and let them pool around his ankles before he steps out of them, leaving him fully nude in front of you.

You’d seen him before, but not up this close. His tip is pink and leaking a drop of precum. He’s barely hard and you’re already wondering how you’ll be able to fit him all down your throat.

“Stop staring at my cock, doll,” he says quietly as he stares down at you, smirk on his face.

He reaches a hand around to tangle in your hair and gently pulls you closer, dragging his length across your face. The feeling of his heady weight resting on your cheek sends a flood of arousal to your core.

You lick up his hardness until you reach the tip. You place a kiss on his slit, tongue darting out to lap up his precum.

“I don’t like teasing, sweetheart,” Bucky gives you a warning look.

You take the head into your mouth and begin to lower yourself onto his cock. Bucky’s hand rests in your hair, letting you set your own pace. You begin bobbing up and down on his shaft, taking about half of him into your mouth with each descent. After a couple minutes of letting you control things, Bucky pulls your head off of him and leans down so he’s face to face with you.

“If it gets to be too much, tap on my thigh two times. I want you to repeat it back to me if you understand.”

“Tap on your thigh twice to stop,” you meet his eyes. They look almost completely black, his pupils blown wide with lust.

He pulls you in for another kiss before rising to his full height.

“Ready, doll?”

You’re not sure why the thought pops into your head, but you decide to try something out. “Yes, Sergeant.”

Bucky’s face turns to something resembling a scowl as his grip tightens on your hair and he drags you back onto his cock. He pushes you all the way down until you feel him hit the back of your throat. And then he forces himself in even farther. Your face is pressed against his lower abdomen, nose nestled into the dark patch of hair just above his cock. You breath in through your nose, which overflows your senses with his musk.

Bucky releases his hands from your hair, allowing you to take a breath. You gasp for air before reattaching your mouth to his cock, already missing the taste of him. He lets out a quiet groan and holds your head in place as he begins to thrust in and out of your mouth. He buries himself in the back of your throat and you gag around him.

“Fuck, doll. Love feeling your throat close around me.”

He holds himself there for a few more seconds before giving you a reprieve.

“Doing so good for me, hon.” He praises, just loud enough so that you can hear him, quiet enough that anyone outside the dressing room wouldn’t be able to.

He continues using your throat to chase his high. He lets a quiet groan slip every so often, making your pussy clench around nothing each time. He picks up the pace, holding your head still and brutally jamming his length down your throat over and over. You lift a hand to his hairy thigh to brace yourself.

“Feel so good. My pretty girl.”

You reach a hand into your panties to give your throbbing clit some attention. Bucky notices immediately and grabs your wrist, ripping your hand out of your shorts.

“Bad girl. Did I say you could do that? Put both your hands behind your back now or you won’t be coming at all today.” He lodges himself into the back of your throat and holds there, cutting off your air flow until you follow his orders.

You do as he instructed and clasp your hands behind your back.

He pulls out of your throat and looks down at you, expression softening. “You can still tap out if you need to, doll.”

You’re not sure what makes you respond the way you do, but you’re quick to regret it. “Please, you think this is rough?” sarcasm drips from your wrecked voice.

Your response brings the scowl back to Bucky’s face and the hold he takes on your hair makes your scalp sting in the best way.

“Fuckin’ brat.” He uses your hair to drag you up and down his length, not stopping to give you a break.

He’s focused solely on chasing his own high, enjoying the way you gag around him. When tears begin to run down your face, he swipes them away with his thumb.

“You asked for it, pretty girl,” he gives you a mock look of sympathy, not letting up. “Fuck, I’m getting close. You’re such a dirty little slut letting me fuck your face like this. What if someone overheard us right now?”

Your moan is muffled around his cock, the vibrations making him grit his teeth in pleasure.

“You like that, doll? Want everyone to know what a little slut you are for me? Want them to see you on your knees for me?”

You do your best to nod with his rock-hard length in your mouth. He gives a few more deep thrusts and you feel his tip hit the back of your throat repeatedly before he uses your hair to yank you off of him.

“Can I come down your throat, doll? Pump your stomach full of me?”

“Please, Buck,” you manage in a hoarse voice.

Bucky groans and forces himself as far down your throat as he can possibly get and holds there, both of his hands keeping your head in place. You unclasp your hands behind your back and bring one up to massage his balls, sending him over the edge. Bucky squeezes his eyes shut and does his best to stay quiet as he shoots rope after rope of his seed down your throat. You feel his warm come trickle down your throat and begin to choke on it. He keeps you in place until his orgasm subsides.

He finally lets you go and you pull off of his length, sputtering and gasping for breath. Bucky kneels down in front of you and holds you to him, calming you. He runs a hand up and down your back and smooths your hair. Once you’ve caught your breath, you lean in for a kiss, which he gladly returns, groaning into your mouth when he gets the briefest taste of himself on your lips.

“You did so fucking good for me, doll,” he whispers into your ear. “Made me feel so good.” He reaches a hand down and slips it into your panties, instantly being met with your wetness. “Fuck, doll. You really liked that, huh?”

“Yes, Bucky. Made me so wet,” you buck your hips up into his touch, hoping he’ll make you come. “Please, Bucky,” you beg, “I was good for you, don’t I deserve a reward?”

“I’ll decide that for myself, doll. I’ll make you come if and when I want to,” he runs a finger through your slick and rubs a few circles over your clit.

You were already on the brink of orgasming the entire time Bucky was in your mouth, and you’re sure that all you need is a couple more strokes of his calloused fingers to push you over the edge. You’re not surprised that Bucky seems to know this too when he pulls his hand out of your shorts.

“Be a good girl for the rest of the day and I’ll make it worth your while. Give you anything you want tonight, sweetheart.”

“Fine,” you pout, although the way he used you to get himself off and left you desperate for release turns you on like nothing ever has before.

He stands and helps you to your feet. He gets dressed while you use the mirror to fix your disheveled look. When the two of you look normal again, he opens the dressing room door.

You’re glad to find that the store is almost empty and it appears that no one had heard anything. You pick up the gifts you had selected for your family and Tess and Bucky returns with a new pair of trunks. They’re a solid salmon-pink color.

“Whatcha got there?” he asks, nodding to the trinkets in your hand.

“Some gifts for my family back home. See you found a bathing suit.”

“Well, you didn’t like the last one, so…” he chuckles at you and the two of you make your way to the checkout.

Just before you reach the counter, Bucky calls your name. He’s stopped in front of a display of Hawaiian shirts.

“We should each get one!” the excited look on his face is too cute to deny, so you simply nod and agree.

You pick one out and Bucky (coincidentally?) selects a matching men’s one. You set your stuff down on the counter and move to pull your wallet out of your bag before Bucky stops you and sets his own stuff down on top of yours. You’re about to argue that he’s not paying for all of your stuff, but he raises his eyebrows and shoots you a warning look.

Don’t you dare try and pull that again, he words from when you had bought dinner last night replay in your mind. You look down at your feet and blush. If it didn’t turn you on so much, you’d be embarrassed at how submissive this man makes you.

He grabs a bottle of water from the mini fridge next to the cashier and sets it on the counter. Bucky pays for everything and hands you the bottle of water while the cashier bags everything up. You’re thankful for the instantaneous soothing the cold water provides as it hits your raw throat. You turn to Bucky and smile, as if to thank him. He sets a hand on your waist and gives you an affectionate smile.

Bucky takes the bags from the cashier and leads the two of you out of the gift shop.

“I have to go up and change into my trunks. I can set your stuff in your room for you while I’m up there, if you want,” he offers.

You dig your extra key card out of your bag and hand it to Bucky. He disappears behind the elevator doors. Just as you’re about to take a seat, you see Sam and Steve. They catch your eye and make their way over to you.

Once you see them up close, you notice that Sam’s swim trunks are identical to the ones Bucky had been wearing yesterday.

“Are those Bucky’s swim trunks?”

“I may have forgotten to pack my own. And Steve wouldn’t let me take his. Bucky wasn’t in his room last night, as I’m sure you know,” he finds his joke hilarious and lets out a laugh, “so I went into his room and took them,” he shrugs as if it’s no big deal. As if, by a chain reaction, it hadn’t led to you on your knees for Bucky in a public place just ten minutes ago.

“Ew, Sam,” your face scrunches up in disgust, “That’s gross.”

“Don’t worry! I’m wearing underwear with them!”

Steve chooses now to speak up, “As much as I’m sure she’d love to hear about your underwear, Sam,” he tells his friend sarcastically, “where is Bucky?” he turns to you.

“He went upstairs to change into the new trunks he just bought,” you eye Sam, “because he couldn’t find his.”

As if on cue, Bucky appears, wearing his new trunks and the Hawaiian t-shirt he just bought. You notice he’s also holding your new shirt.

“You asshole,” he furrows his brows at Sam, “Are those my trunks? That’s gross, man. I had those on yesterday.”

“Don’t worry,” you interject, “he’s got underwear on.”

Bucky gives you a confused look, probably wondering how you know that, and you, Steve, and Sam laugh.

Bucky returns his attention to Sam, “Give me back the key card to my room,” he holds out a hand expectantly.

“Told you, you never should’ve given it to him,” Steve says.

“Hey!” Sam turns on the blonde, “You helped me take all his towels!” He reaches into his - Bucky’s - pockets and hands over a key card.

“Punks,” Bucky mutters, grabbing his room key back.

“Do you guys wanna come to the beach with us?” you offer.

“We actually just left the beach,” Steve answers, “Thanks, though.”

“Good,” Bucky takes your hand and leads you away from his friends, “See you later!” Steve and Sam laugh as Bucky leads you away.

“Were they bothering you?” he looks over at you.

“No, Bucky, you don’t have to worry so much. Sam made another comment about you not going back to your room last night, but it doesn’t bother me. I like them. I think they’re just trying to embarrass you in front of me.”

“You can say that again,” Bucky mutters. “Oh, hey,” he holds up the shirt you’d forgotten he was holding, “I just thought maybe, um,” you find it adorable that the man who was just fucking your face in a public place now seems so shy, “maybe you could wear your shirt too and we could match.”

“Aw,” you smile up at him and take the shirt, “sure, Buck.” You throw the shirt on over your white tank top.

You grab two beach towels and stuff them in your bag before stepping out of the resort. You and Bucky make your way to the beach, fingers interlaced. When you pick out a good enough spot, you and Bucky lay out your beach towels and strip down to your swim suits. You make your way to the water’s edge.

“You comin’ or what?” you throw over your shoulder with a smirk.

“Yeah, sweetheart,” he gives you a mischievous grin, “Just enjoying the view.” His eyes flit down to your ass and you scoff.

You do your best to refrain from smiling as you give him a mock-offended look. He makes his way over to you and you splash him with ocean water when he gets close enough. He laughs for a minute but then his expression turns more serious.

“Remember what I said about being good today, doll?” he steps closer to you and leans down to whisper in your ear, water dripping from his hair. “If you wanna come, that is,” he pulls away, smirk upon his lips.

You blush and turn away. The refreshing salt water surrounds you and makes you feel as light as a feather. It’s as if each wave is chipping away at the weight on your shoulders.

You look at Bucky, who’s busy watching a ship in the distance. His blue eyes are the same color as the ocean. He’s got a slight smile on his face and you think that he looks as content as you’ve been feeling ever since you got here. The water comes up to his swim trunks, but leaves you an unblocked view of his abs and pecs. Water droplets run down his sculpted body and you’re suddenly ultra-aware of the fact that your core is in desperate need of attention.

“Heads up!” you hear a familiar voice call out from behind you.

You turn and before you know what’s happening, Bucky is diving in front of you, landing in the water with a splash. He emerges holding a football.

“Sam, watch out! You almost hit her!” he scolds his friend, who’s standing in the sand with Steve.

“I was aiming for you, if that makes it better,” he grimaces and apologizes to you.

“Hard to believe you were the best marksman in our troop,” Bucky scoffs and shakes his head.

“Get the ball!” Steve yells before rushing into the water, Sam following behind him.

Steve makes a beeline to Bucky, who starts running in the opposite direction. Bucky loses his footing in the waist-deep water and Steve catches up to him. The large blond dives at Bucky, arms outstretched, and tackles him into the water. Sam isn’t far behind and jumps on top of both of them. You hear curses and gasps for breath as they just about drown each other. You watch, laughing to yourself at the three idiots.

Steve emerges from the pile, holding the football victoriously over his head. Bucky and Sam steady themselves, catching their breath. Your giggling is cut short when Steve tosses the ball to you. You catch it out of habit and freeze when you see the look on the guys’ faces.

“Oh, shit,” you mutter.

“Better run, darlin’,” Bucky gives you a boyish grin.

You turn and do your best to run, smile on your face growing as you surprisingly manage to keep some distance between you and the men chasing you - Bucky leading the pack. A smile spreads across your face, flashbacks of playing football with your cousins on Thanksgiving playing through your mind. One year, one of your cousins had broken his arm - he had landed on it wrong after being tackled. After that, your parents made you stick to playing two-hand tap.

“Slow pokes,” you tease the boys.

“Oh, doll,” you look over your shoulder to see Bucky gaining on you, “you know I was letting you get away, right?”

You let out a shriek as you suddenly feel Bucky’s hands on your hips. Your grip tightens on the ball as his long fingers easily span your waist.

“Sorry, babe, part of the game,” he gives you a look of false sympathy before wrapping his arms around your hips and gently tackling you into the water.

You can tell he’s trying hard to control himself, making sure he doesn’t accidentally hurt you. Bucky lets go of you quickly, letting you stand from the water just as fast as you went under.

“That’s okay, Barnes,” you give him a cocky grin, “I still got the ball,” you wave it in your hand.

He gives you a smile and holds your chin up with his hand. He leans down and connects his lips to yours. You don’t even have a chance to worry about whether or not anyone is witnessing his display of PDA because he’s suddenly ripped away from you.

Bucky lets out a loud oomph as Sam’s shoulder collides with his torso, effectively knocking the wind out of him. Bucky is surprised by the attack, but manages to overpower Sam rather quickly as you and Steve watch in amusement. Bucky gets Sam in a headlock and you can’t help but stare at the way his bicep bulges as he flexes it. You feel a pulse in your core when you think about Bucky’s arm wrapped around your own neck like that.

“Say I’m the best,” Bucky taunts.

“Dick,” Sam struggles in Bucky’s grasp, but his efforts are futile.

“Come on, punk,” Bucky chuckles.

“Fine,” Sam admits defeat. “You’re the best.”

Bucky drops his arm and Sam stands, muttering curses.

Bucky makes his way over to you and plucks the ball from your fingers.

“Thought you guys weren’t gonna come,” he tosses the ball back and forth between his hands.

“We got bored,” Steve shrugs. “Why? Did we interrupt something?” he teases.

“Haha,” you laugh sarcastically and roll your eyes.

The next couple of hours are spent playing football - you get revenge on Bucky with your own tackle - and talking with your new friends. At one point when Sam is arguing with Steve and Bucky about whether you’re currently in the pacific or the atlantic ocean - Steve and Bucky are right - you decide to take a break from the water and lay on the beach to tan.

You straighten out your towel and lay back on your elbows. You find that you can’t take your eyes off of Bucky. You smile to yourself as you watch his brows furrow in utter disbelief and frustration at his friend - you idiot, do you know anything about geography?.

You’ve only known Bucky for three days and you’re scared of how strong your feelings are for him. Maybe it’s the fact that he makes you feel safe, maybe it’s the way he listens so intently anytime you talk, maybe it’s the way he and his friends have gladly taken you in when you were desperate for companionship, and maybe it’s just the amazing sex, but something has you falling nearly head over heels for this man you hardly know. And that scares you. You haven’t felt anything like this since Brock - and even that had been different. You really hope Bucky feels the same at least a little bit.

“Hey, sweetheart,” Bucky’s honeyed comes from above you.

“Hey, Buck,” you look up at him, lifting your hand to block the sun.

He gives you an affectionate smile and chuckles at your squinted expression.

“So I was thinking,” he starts, “you said you wanted to go snorkeling. I thought maybe we could go together? I called this place nearby earlier and they’ve got room for us both today.”

Your eyes widen in excitement, “Oh my gosh, Bucky!” you revel in the grin your squeal draws from him. “That sounds perfect!”

“Okay, cool,” Bucky offers you a hand to help you up. “You wanna go grab a little something to eat before we head out?”

You nod and take his hand. The two of you get dressed and pack up your stuff. You say goodbye to Steve and Sam and leave them on the beach as you make your way back to the resort with Bucky, his arm slung over your shoulder. You and Bucky grab a small snack from the store in the resort, not wanting to fill up before snorkeling. Bucky arranges for a taxi and when it arrives, he opens the door for you and climbs in next to you.

Once you reach the snorkeling place, a little hut on the beach, Bucky leads you inside. He makes his way to the counter and gives the worker his name. You feel a twinge of guilt when he reaches for his wallet to pay for the both of you. You tug on his arm and look up to him hesitantly.

“Don’t worry about it,” he places a kiss on your forehead before turning back to the receptionist.

The woman at the counter gives you and Bucky an overview of what will happen - you will go out back to the dock and get your gear while you wait for the rest of the people in your group to show up before boarding the boat.

Bucky thanks the lady and guides you outside with a hand on your lower back. You’re greeted by a couple of guys who look like they could be younger than you. They get you and Bucky situated with a snorkel, mask, and fins. You and Bucky put your clothes in your bag, leaving you clad in swimwear, before putting the bag in a locker for safe keeping.

Eventually, the rest of your group shows up - a married couple and their two children - and the workers hand out their gear. Once everyone is ready, they board everyone onto the boat and wave goodbye, returning to the deck as the captain makes his way over to greet you.

“Good afternoon, everyone!” the man smiles brightly. “My name is Koa and I will be your guide today.” He goes over the rules and procedures for the trip.

After his run down, he unties the boat from the dock and makes his way to the captain’s chair. You and Bucky take a seat on one of the padded benches on the side of the boat and he places a hand on your thigh. You take in the gorgeous scenery as the boat’s motor hums and takes you into the clear, blue water. After about five minutes, the boat stops and Koa drops the anchor.

You’re not far away from shore, the water is calm and shallow. Koa reminds everyone of the rules and makes sure they know how to properly use their gear. He tells you about the marine life you’ll see and points out what you should keep an eye out for.

“You guys are all set to explore,” he tells the group, “I’ll be here watching you guys if you need me. And remember, don’t stray too far from the boat.”

With that, everyone stands from their seats. The kids excitedly clamber down the ladder into the water, their mom rushing behind them yelling for them to slow down. The dad follows behind, shaking his head and smiling. Bucky goes in front of you and makes his way into the water. Once in, he reaches a hand out to hold your waist, steadying you as you climb down.

For the most part, you and Bucky stay on one side of the boat and the family stays on the other. You see a lot of colorful fish and excitedly jab Bucky’s side to get his attention when you see a pufferfish. You swim around the area, staying close to Bucky most of the time. You make sure to keep near the boat and you ask Koa questions about the fish every so often. Once everyone has finished looking around the area and observing the wildlife, Koa calls everyone to climb back on so you can head toward the next snorkeling area.

Once back on the boat, the kids excitedly chatter nonstop, jumping up and down as they talk about all the things they saw. You notice Bucky’s small smirk as he watches the children. He looks over to you and his face visibly heats when he notices he’d been caught. You use your thumb to wipe away a drop of water running down the side of his face. Bucky gently takes your hand and presses a kiss to it before holding it between his own in his lap. Thankfully, he turns to look into the water, so he doesn’t see the smile you subconsciously let spread across your lips at the feeling of your hand in his own.

Koa anchors the boat near a coral reef when the boat stops for the second time. He explains that Hawaiian coral reefs house thousands of different kinds of creatures and algae.

“The water is deeper here,” he warns, “and we must be careful not to disturb the coral. We cannot get too close to the reefs, so I ask that you view them from a distance of several feet.”

After his speech, everyone makes their way into the water again. The brief chill the water provides is a welcomed reprieve from the blazing sun, though you couldn’t have asked for more perfect weather. Bucky makes his way toward the reef and you follow him. You and Bucky swim around and observe the reef in awe, watching the way the plants flow with the water and seeing all the invertebrates crawl around in the sand.

When you come back to the surface, you make conversation with the little kids as you wait for Bucky to finish exploring.

When Bucky emerges from the water, he shouts over to you and the rest of the group, “Hey guys, there’s a sea turtle over here!”

The kids scramble to swim over to where Bucky’s pointing, you and their parents following behind. Bucky warns the kids not to get too close so that they don’t scare the turtle away. Koa tells the group that Hawaiian sea turtles can weigh as much as 500 pounds. After everyone has seen the turtle, thankfully it didn’t get scared off, you all clamber back onto the boat.

“The snorkeling part of the tour is over, but I’ll continue the boat tour before we make our way back to shore,” Koa informs everyone.

You and Bucky get settled in on the bench, sitting opposite the rest of the group. He puts his arm around your shoulders and holds you into him. Koa tells you different fun facts about the island and the wild life. He takes you past different coves and beaches, laughing at his own terrible dad jokes frequently.

“This is stunning,” you almost whisper as you pass ginormous mountains and lush trees.

“Yeah, doll,” Bucky replies, “It is.”

You turn to find him already looking at you. He places a finger under your chin and presses a kiss to your lips. You smile at him before returning your attention to the majestic blue of the ocean and realize that it’s the same color as Bucky’s eyes.

All too soon, Koa is docking the boat and wishing everyone an amazing rest of their vacation. Once you and Bucky are off the boat, you grab your bag and dry off before getting dressed. Bucky calls for a taxi and soon enough you’re back at the hotel. Bucky walks you to your room.

“I think I’m gonna take a shower real quick,” you tell Bucky. “Would you- um, would you wanna join me?” you’re feeling bold, possibly because you’re still feeling the effects of what happened in the dressing room and you’re desperate for some release.

Bucky must be able to tell how horny you are because he gives you a knowing grin, “Doll, I would love to, but I promised Sam and Steve that I would meet them at the bar after we got done,” he gives you a sad smile, “Don’t get me wrong, I love spending time with you, but I want to make sure I’m still hanging out with them, you know?”

“Oh my gosh, Bucky, yeah. I’m sorry, you’re totally right.”

“Hey, darling,” Bucky makes eye contact with you, “Don’t apologize. If it was up to me I’d spend the rest of my vacation with just you. But hey, how about you come find us at the bar after your shower?”

“Deal. Only if you’ll let me buy you a drink, though,” you challenge.

“Doll, you know that’s not happening.” Bucky leans down until his mouth is level with your ear, “And don’t think about touching that pretty little pussy of yours if you want me to reward you tonight.”

Your mouth drops at the sudden warning. Bucky gives you a cocky grin in response to your reddened face.

“Come down when you’re done, and leave your wallet,” with that, he turns and walks away, leaving you flustered and horny.

You try not to think about the way that Bucky had eaten you out like a starving man last night and how he had used you to chase his own release earlier while you take a cold shower. You put on some shorts and your new Hawaiian shirt before making your way downstairs.

When you step outside, you glance around the bar area, searching for Bucky and his friends. You see Steve and Sam talking to each other at one end of the bar, but Bucky isn’t with them. After another scan, you find him. He’s leaning up against the bar with his back to you, but he’s not by his friends. He’s next to a gorgeous woman in a bikini. You falter for a second when you see Bucky turn to her, talking with a smile on his face. They’re clearly in the middle of a conversation. You stop in your tracks when Bucky buys a beer and hands it to the woman. He laughs at something she said and you turn away.

What the fuck?

It’s not like you two were exlcusive or anything, hell you’d only known each other for two days. You probably don’t have any right to feel jealous, but regardless, you feel a pang in your gut. His dick had just been in your mouth hours ago and now he’s buying drinks for someone who could be a supermodel?

You hold back your tears as you make your way back inside, heading for the indoor bar.

How could you be so stupid. Of course the connection wasn’t real. He was just using you to get his dick wet, and you had let him.

You take a seat at the bar and order a double shot of whiskey, good thing you did end up bringing your wallet. You mentally scold yourself for believing there was ever a connection between you and Bucky as you down your drink. You order a second one and think about what you’ll do if he tries to talk to you again. If he tries to fuck you again. You won’t let him back in your pants, that’s for sure. You wonder if he’s looking at that woman like she’s the most important thing in the world, the way he had looked at you.

You don’t understand how guys manage to put on such a convincing gentleman act just to get laid. He had you fooled with his I don’t usually do this speech this morning. Part of you wants to believe that he hadn’t bought you stuff and opened doors for you just to get you to sleep with him, but you know better deep down. Why would anyone be interested in you like that? Brock had made it clear that you weren’t anything worth holding on to. You sometimes wish you aren’t as trusting as you are, it’s not the first time you’ve been hurt because of it.

You down the second drink and resign yourself to spending the next three days alone before heading home. You’ve got plenty of experience with being alone, though.

part three!

Taglist (lmk if you want to be added!) - @vicmc624 @distancedss @kandis-mom @cakesandtom @buckbuckybuckaroo @volleyballgirl2022 @sapphirebarnes @xobabygirl143 @sarah1barnes @ladyacrasia @charmedbysarge

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sunvmars · 8 months

Text

sour | s.r. [2]

pairing: steve rogers x afab/fem reader

↞ previous | next ↠

word count: 3.2k

warnings: swearing, brief mentions of abortion, pregnancy/pregnant reader- that's ab it

summary: you and steve discuss plans for the pregnancy, steve faces the consequences of his actions

a/n: oh boy have i got a little plot twist coming for y'all soon. also, the chapters will get longer as more of the story is revealed!

“I’m pregnant, Steve.”

Steve's hold on you became a little tighter. He found himself unable to fully process the information you'd just dropped on him; you being pregnant wasn't something he had even considered. You stood still in his arms, allowing him time to process the news and awaiting any type of response from him. He took a deep breath, his mind racing with thoughts and emotions. The words kept repeating in his head; she’s pregnant, she's pregnant, she's…pregnant.

"Steve? Did you hear me?" you questioned, voice slightly muffled by how you were being pressed into his chest.

Only after hearing your voice again did he move. He released his grip on you and took a step back to look you in the eyes. His eyebrows furrowed, his expression containing a mix of disbelief and confusion. There was something else hidden below the surface of his gaze too- a deep-rooted concern. A concern not only for you but for the tiny little life growing inside of you too, the life both of you created.

"What..? I'm sorry, this is just, uhm, wow."

You cock an eyebrow up at him, "That's all you've got to say?"

When he doesn't respond, you scoff. His eyes search the room as he tries to avoid direct eye contact with you.

"Well, now that you've made this abnormally awkward, I think I'm gonna go home now," you chuckle, trying to hide your irritation, ''Since I'm having your baby, please feel free to call me when you've got something else to add, alright?"

He grabs your arm when you turn to leave, "Wait. I'm sorry, y/n. Come inside, please. We can talk in here.”

Reluctantly, you allowed Steve to guide you into the apartment. His grip on your arm stayed gentle but firm like he thought you were gonna turn and run away at any moment. Once fully inside, you noticed how everything seemed so familiar yet foreign at the same time. Most of the pictures were off the wall except for two.

One picture was one that Tony had taken at the beach a year ago. The photo was of you, Steve, and Bucky sitting in the sand. You were laying in Steve's lap with your head resting on his chest while playing rock, paper, scissors with Bucky for the last slice of Steve's birthday cake.

The other photo just had you and Steve on your first date. You'd made him take a picture with you in front of the movie theater you went to. It was the oldest theater in town and, at some point during the night, you made a joke about how the theater was the only thing as old as him in the city.

He'd rolled his eyes at the joke but found himself unable to contain a smile when he saw your face light up as you laughed. You were witty, and that was his favorite thing about you, even if he was on the butt end of the joke. As long as you still had that pretty smile on your face, he didn't care how many jokes you made about him.

The soft, white couch you'd picked out together when the two of you first moved in was still there too and so was your favorite vase. The vase was missing the flowers though- the flowers he'd come home with every Friday without fail. More often than not, the ones he bought the week before weren't even dead yet, but he'd buy you new ones anyways.

"Ma used to tell me that if someone buys you flowers and they don't die for a long time, that means they really love you. But it's unavoidable that they'll die eventually, right? So I figured that if I buy you new ones before the old ones die then you'll never get the chance to forget how much I love you," he explained, leaning down to place a kiss on your forehead.

"Right, but what if I forget anyway?" you joked with a smile.

And then he shrugged and gave you a peck on your nose, "Then it's a good thing I'll be right here to remind you, honey," he cooed.

You bit your tongue, forcing the lump in your throat to go back down upon remembering all of the moments you shared. This was your home until just a couple of months ago, and now it felt like you were standing in a shell of what used to be your safe space.

Steve led you to the living room, the last room you'd been in before he gave up on your future together. He gestured for you to take a seat and you plopped into your favorite recliner that didn't even seem like it'd been touched since you left. The tension in the room was palpable as he sat on the far end of the couch, the side farthest away from you.

"You scared I'm gonna bite you or something?" you joked, rubbing a hand over your aching stomach.

He gave a short-lived chuckle before speaking, "Listen, I'm sorry for my reaction," he began, his voice filled with sincerity, "I didn't expect this, and I'm sure you didn't either."

You nodded to show your understanding, "It's alright, this is a lot for both of us."

"What do you wanna do..?"

"Me?"

His brain blanks as he tries to think of whether or not he'd said something wrong.

"Yeah?" he finally says, almost saying it like a question.

"It's not just my decision, Steven. You get a say in this too."

"I do?"

You laugh a little at his confusion, "Yes. You do."

"I'm sorry, it's just that with everything that happened I... I'm trying to say that I'd understand if you didn't want me involved in this decision," he says, looking down at the floor to avoid your eyes.

"Steve, look at me," you begin, pausing until he looks back up at you, "I wouldn't leave this choice up to just me. Whatever decision we make has to work for both of us though."

He looks up at you with surprise etched all over his face, "Thank you, y/n. It's more than I deserve."

"Mhm, tell me about it," you sigh while still rubbing a hand soothingly over your stomach, trying to ease the nausea.

He's silent, avoiding the dreaded breakup conversation. Luckily enough, neither of you are ready to have that discussion yet. He claps his hands together in his lap quietly and clears his throat to get rid of the silence.

"Do you know how far along you are?"

"No, not yet. I have to find a doctor. I'll ask Tony to make the call for me tomorrow."

"So, what do you wanna do?" he asks again, emphasizing the 'you,' "Have you thought about...you know?"

"The alternative? Yeah, I thought about it for a bit, but I think I wanna keep it. I've only known about the little guy for less than an hour and I'm already attached."

What you said was true, you did think about every possible alternative from abortion to adoption; but at some point on the way here, you'd decided on keeping it. You feel a bit of hope when you look down at your stomach. You smile to yourself, momentarily forgetting all your troubles. Though your smile is quickly replaced with a frown when you remember the situation at hand. You look up to lock eyes with him, seeing he's clearly hesitating to respond.

"But if you don't want this, I can raise him or her alone. Y'know, move out of town or move a few states away to be closer to family so there are no unwanted run-ins. The whole nine yards," you say softly, wiping a stray tear off your cheek.

"Oh, y/n," he mumbles, "I'm sorry. I didn't want it to be like this- I didn't want any of this."

You take in his words, trying to make sense of them. You felt your heart beginning to break as he remained silent. How can he just give up so easily before it even gets hard? Not that you'd pressure him into raising a kid he didn't want, I mean you did give him the choice, but his words still come as a surprise.

"So, the whole nine yards it is then?"

"I'm sorry, y/n..."

“I need you to look at me and say it, please.”

Steve looked around the room, appearing as though he was about to cry. His eyes finally land on you and you swear there's bits of guilt and regret in them.

"I don't want this baby."

That was all you needed. Hearing him say the words to you only solidified that y/n l/n and Steve Rogers didn't stand another damn chance. You sniffled as you stood up, trying to conceal any glimpse of sadness he could possibly see in you. You make your way to the door and go to turn the handle only for him to start speaking and stop you in your tracks.

"Y/n. I'm sorry, okay? I wasn't expecting any of this. I don't know what I want yet."

"Of course you do, Steven, you just said it," you say with a fake smile as you turn to look at him, "I'm not upset with you for not wanting this, but I'm disappointed that you're not the man I thought you were. If you change your mind, you know where to find me, but decide soon because I won't let you be in and out of our lives."

With that, you leave and quietly shut the door behind you.

The drive back to the tower is entirely too slow and painful. You slipped your shoes off once back inside the comfort of your room and made your way to the bathroom to run a bath. After sinking in the warm bubbles and water, you unlocked your phone to unblock Steve's number. You awaited a text as you bathed- a text that never came, that is. You felt a little silly for ever thinking he'd want this with you but brush the feeling off quickly as it makes you feel physically sick.

You dry off, slip into your favorite night clothes, then slip under your covers. After trying to fall asleep for four hours and either waking up after a few minutes or not being able to fall asleep at all, you text Bucky to see if he's awake. It's about 3 a.m., but he responds after only five minutes to tell you he's coming to your room. The fact that he knew you wanted him to come over without saying it had a smile spreading across your lips.

When he arrived, you hugged him tightly and let out a shaky breath you'd been holding. He pulled away from the hug and looked at you with a concerned expression painted on his face.

"What's wrong?" he asks, hands resting on your arms.

"I'm pregnant, Buck."

You laugh a little to hide the way your voice cracked but Bucky sees right through it. He frowns at the sight of you, taking in the dark bags under your eyes and your skin that was paler than your usual tone.

"Let's go sit down, yeah?" he smiles warmly.

The two of you sit on your bed in silence as you lay your head on his shoulder. You make small talk after a few minutes, Bucky mainly asking questions about what you plan to do and how you feel.

"I'm guessing you told Steve?" he inquires.

He feels you nod slowly against his shoulder and he takes it as a sign to continue.

"And how did he take it?"

You shrug before speaking, "It seemed like he wanted to be a part of it all at first...then he said he didn't want this, but then he said he wasn't sure."

"Huh," he sighs out of confusion, "You know I'm here for you though, right? Both of you are my best friends, no matter how stupid he's being."

"I know you are," you reply.

"I know it's early and all, but have you thought about if you want a girl or boy?" he asks cautiously, worried the topic might upset you, "If you keep it, that is," he quickly adds.

"Buck, can I be honest with you?"

"Of course."

"I went to Steve's to get his input, but I think I decided to keep it as soon as I found out about it. I hate Steve so much right now, but this baby is a piece of both of us. I can't bring myself to get rid of something so innocent just for being a part of him," you explain, "I know it's not that simple for other people, but I did want kids with him eventually. I'm not unhappy with the pregnancy, I'm unhappy with the circumstances. Boy or girl, I'll be overjoyed either way."

He smiles to himself briefly, "You've got the biggest heart, you know that? You'll be a wonderful mother, y/n, and I mean that."

As hard as he tries to come up with an explanation for his friend's odd behavior, he can't. He'd promised you that he wouldn't go digging for answers when you broke up, you'd told him you didn't care to know and that it wasn't his problem. You're his friend, so he respected that. But now? Now it wasn't just you that Steve was abandoning, which meant that now he had to have answers.

Your breathing slows after a little bit, a sign that he recognizes as you getting sleepy. Slowly, he lays down, cradling your body so that you lay down with him. He lets you rest your head on him as he strokes your hair back soothingly. He waits until he hears your soft snores to gently ease your head onto your pillow before getting off the bed. He'd decided that he was going to get answers, even if it was three-forty in the morning.

Back at the apartment, Steve had only moved once to turn off the lights, pour a glass of alcohol, and sit in your recliner. He would never say it now but he hated being alone in the apartment without you. This wasn't his home, and it never was, not without you there with him. The space that used to be filled with your laughter and your love now felt void of anything other than cold. He sat in the dark, alone with his thoughts, as he did almost every night since you broke up.

His phone buzzed, startling him out of his thoughts. The timing of him getting a message was unusual given the late hour. He picked up the phone and saw it was from Bucky, he smiled softly in hopes that his friend would offer some sort of help. He was sadly mistaken.

Bucky: We need to talk.

Steve frowned at the cryptic message as he typed a response.

Steve: About what?

Bucky's reply was swift.

Bucky: You know exactly what.

A knock sounded at the door no more than ten minutes later. He sighed, mentally preparing himself for whatever talking to he was about to get.

"It's open," he called out.

The door opened to reveal Bucky. As he walked in, the light from outside lit up his face and allowed Steve to see his expression of concern and irritation. He closed the door behind him and then turned to face Steve.

"I'm starting to worry you're turning into a vampire or something, punk. Why are you sitting with all the lights off again? Haven't we had this talk before?" he questions, flipping the overhead light on, "Have you been crying again?"

Steve groans and rubs his wet eyes with his free hand, "No," he lies.

His eyes narrow in Bucky's direction as he walks towards where he's sitting. Steve then brings the drink up to his lips to take a sip only to have it yanked away.

"Buck-"

"Now this is new, is this alcohol?" Bucky asks, bringing the glass up to his nose only to recoil at the scent, "Steve, oh my God, What is in this?"

"Whiskey, tequila, a little bit of everything. Well, everything she left here."

Bucky looks away, desperately trying to contain a laugh, "You can't even get drunk. What are you doing? What's the end goal here?"

"The taste helps me forget how big of an idiot I am," Steve confesses as he snatches his drink back, "It's like a punishment."

"Glad you know you're an idiot, it makes my job here easier."

"Did she send you over here," Steve asks, looking up at Bucky through his eyelashes.

"No, she didn't. But she told me what happened and I came here on my own," Bucky responds, "You know as well as I do that she can fight her own battles."

"Then why are you here?"

"To check on you. And like you said, you're an idiot. I'm here to figure out why you're being such an idiot, though. Whatever Steve you've been for the last four months isn't the Steve I know."

When he doesn't answer, Bucky continues talking, "I've let this go on for far too long. I should've asked when I noticed you were acting weird, but I chalked it up to how rough that last Hydra mission was. But this whole baby thing is the last straw, Steve. I've had to put up with your dumb decisions recently, I deserve an explanation. The woman carrying your child does more so, but we'll get to that."

Steve let out a heavy sigh and his shoulders slumped as he realized there was no escaping the conversation. Bucky had always been a straightforward friend. For as long as they knew each other, he was never one to beat around the bush, and he wasn't about to start letting Steve get away with stuff now.

"I don't even know where to start," Steve admits, his voice laced with frustration.

He takes another sip of his drink, hoping it might give him the kick he needs to explain himself. His face turns up at the taste and Bucky tries yet again to conceal a laugh.

"Okay, enough of that," he says, taking the drink back out of Steve's hands.

Bucky crosses his arms and sits on the end of the couch closest to Steve, giving him a stern look, "How about you try starting with why you decided to walk away from her? She's the best thing that ever happened to you, Steve, we both know that."

Steve winces at his words. He knew Bucky was right, as he usually was, but facing the same truth every day didn't make it hurt any less. It actually hurt worse since he knew that this entire situation was his fault.

"So?" Bucky says, urging Steve to speak.

Bucky instinctively brings the glass up to his lips and takes a sip. His expression turns from understanding to disgust as he spits the drink back into the cup.

Steve chuckles under his breath, "Habit?"

"Think it was the feeling of the cup in my hand, not sure why I did that. Guess old habits do die hard," Bucky explains, "Anyways, get to the explaining."

"I... I don't know, Buck. I messed up, bad."

"We already know that, care to elaborate?" Bucky prodded.

"It wasn't up to me, Buck," Steve sighs, speaking again when he sees Bucky's confused look, "Remember that Hydra mission you were just talking about?"

taglist! @vicmc624 @tooruen @athenabarnes @blackhawkfanatic

to be added to or removed from the tag list for this series, leave a comment or message me :) submissions and asks are now also open

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oh-my-damn · 2 years

Text

Ethereal

A/N: I couldn't stop thinking about living next to puppy Steve and not knowing he's cap. So here's a mini-series!

Series Masterlist

Part 2

Pairing: TWS!Steve Rogers x Neighbor!Reader

Summary: When you move into your new apartment the last thing you'd expected was the greek god living next door to you.

Warnings: Steve is a literal golden retriever, riding on a motorcycle, mutual pining (a lot), reader doesn't know Steve is Cap, alcohol consumption, being awkward, first date vibes, Steve is a cutie.

Word Count: 5300

The beautiful divider is by @firefly-graphics

When you found a cheap apartment in an old but well-kept building in Brooklyn Heights, you were relieved.

You'd been searching for a new place to live for a while, after you found out the building you'd been living in was going co-op.

You had no means to pay for that old apartment, and even if you did, you wouldn't have wanted to. It was run down, new problems seemingly appearing every day, and there was no way you would have tied yourself to that place for good.

So when you found your new apartment you were excited; the building was old, but clearly well taken care of, and it was in a safe neighborhood. You lived in Williamsburg before, so you had no problem with staying in Brooklyn. In fact, you preferred it.

It took you about an hour to get to university, but you didn't mind the travel time. You would always spend that time studying, catching up on whatever you were missing, or getting ahead of next weeks readings.

You'd also always loved riding on the train; it could be hot, and cramped, and uncomfortable, but it also provided you with a sort of peace. You enjoyed people watching, or gazing out the window with your headphones on. Riding on the train provided a forced tranquility, because you knew, no matter what, you had to spend an hour or so on there. And so it forced you to disconnect with the outside world and in turn, connect with yourself. Even if it was just for a little while.

The day you moved into your new apartment you remember a feeling of curiosity. You remember lugging your boxes up to the top floor and down the hall, unlocking your front door as your gaze moved to the door further down the hall.

Your neighbor lived at the end of the hallway, while you lived to the right. You didn't know anything about who occupied the space; the only thing you knew was that someone lived there, by the doormat placed on the floor.

The apartment didn't have a specific name attached to its mailbox, only initials, and that was both intriguing and unsettling.

S. G. R.

You've met many people in your life who value their privacy, but not even providing a name on their own mailbox seemed excessive to you. Your first thought was how much of a hassle it must be to have packages delivered - you know for a fact that your online shopping habit would severely suffer if your name wasn't properly visible on your mailbox.

You moved in with no issues, other than a bit of sweat and a few groans of exhaustion.

Within a month, you'd gotten used to living there; it was almost like you'd lived there your entire life. You'd always leave early in the morning to get to class, and you'd often arrive home after dinner time, choosing to stay on campus to study, or go out with your friends.

All in all, it was a normal apartment, and it allowed you to live a completely ordinary life.

Until that fateful day back in March.

You arrive home earlier than usual. The entire day has been a disaster; first you missed your train, resulting in you being late for class, and then you spilled your coffee down the front of your shirt as you were walking across campus. When class was over, you'd talked yourself into staying and catch up on your reading, only to realize you'd forgotten the book for the course you needed to catch up on.

With a heavy sigh, and even heavier footsteps, you trudge up the stairs to your apartment. You're cursing yourself for forgetting your book, because you know that once you're inside, your urges will get the best of you, and you'll probably end up watching TV instead of catching up on your studies.

You release another heavy sigh when you reach your floor, turning the corner in the direction of your front door. Your eyes are locked on your feet as they carry you along, your bones tired and exhausted from this utter disappointment of a day.

But then your ears perk up when you hear the familiar sound of a key sliding into a lock.

Your eyes flit up to look ahead of you, breath almost hitching when they land on a tall blonde man, his broad back hunched over slightly as he unlocks his door.

Your feet still, making you stop just a few steps from your front door. The change in movement makes the stranger ahead of you glance over his shoulder, his brows furrowing for a moment before he turns around to face you.

"Hi," he says, grazing you with a dazzling smile, "You must be my new neighbor."

His voice is deep yet gentle, matching the hypnotizing features on his face. A strong jaw, chiseled cheekbones, matched with a pair of bright blue eyes and pink, plump lips.

He's fucking ethereal.

You can practically feel your heart hammering against your ribcage as you take in his full form, eyes gazing over his 6'2 frame. Broad shoulders to match his back, curving into a narrow waist, and legs that go on for days. His short, blonde hair is a little mussed up, his eyebrows raised in a question.

He's wearing a navy blue jacket, which matches his jeans, and a white t-shirt underneath. Entirely ordinary yet painfully breathtaking.

You're not sure you've ever seen a specimen quite like him.

When he tilts his head ever so slightly, you snap out of the daze he brought you in.

"Yeah, uh, hi. I guess I am. I just moved in."

You gesture towards your front door, and the stranger nods in acknowledgement.

"I heard some ruckus," he chuckles, bright white teeth practically blinding you, "I'm sorry I didn't come around to introduce myself earlier, I've been a little preoccupied with work."

You wave a dismissive hand as you smile, "Oh, no worries. I know how it is. But I'm glad we finally met, I was starting to wonder who lived next door."

"Yeah?" He asks with a grin, "Why?"

"Because I've never seen anyone," you chuckle, "I was starting to suspect it was an investment property or something. Figured no one lived there."

The stranger laughs, the sound a bubbling melodic tune that makes your heart beat excitedly. It's a beautiful, genuine sound, that makes you feel special in a way you can't quite explain.

"Oh, I live here, don't you worry," he replies, his smile turning softer, "I've been away for a little while, but I'm back now. I did hear you move in, though, but I had to leave for work early the next day, so I didn't have time to come by and welcome you to the building."

You nod, "Okay, I see. What do you do for work?"

His brows furrow momentarily before he shrugs, "You know, I work jobs here and there. I travel a lot, though."

"You're an easy neighbor to have, then," you joke, tilting your head, "I guess I won't have to worry about you making a noise complaint."

He laughs again, the sound is practically addicting to your ears, "No, you won't have to worry about that, I promise. I usually keep to myself."

You nod and hum, holding eye contact for a moment longer before your eyes dart to your front door, "Good to know.. Well, it was really nice to meet you, uhh..?"

He smiles, hesitating for a moment before he says, "Steve. Steve Rogers. Nice to meet you too."

Two days later, you're out for drinks with your friends, excitedly telling them about the greek god living next door to you.

"I swear to god, he's fucking ethereal. Like, insane. I can't even explain it."

You take another large sip of your drink as your friends giggle.

"You have to show me a picture!" Janine says excitedly, eyes wide as she looks at you, "Come on, show us his social media!"

"That's the thing!" You exclaim, placing your drink perhaps a bit too harshly back on the table, "I tried to look him up but I couldn't find any social media accounts for him. It was so frustrating because apparently he shares a name with one of those Avenger guys, so it was practically impossible."

You take another eager sip as your friend, Melanie, narrows her eyes at you, "What do you mean he shares a name with one of the Avengers? Who?"

You wave your hand dismissively, "I don't fucking know those guys, you know that, but when I googled his name all of these articles for those guys showed up so I couldn't find anything on him. I didn't feel like sifting through all of that."

Your friends share a knowing look before Melanie leans closer to you on the table, "What did you say his name was?"

"Steve," you chirp, sipping your drink through the straw happily, "Steve Rogers."

Your friends share another look, although this one seems more shocked than before, making you look between the two of them.

"What?" You ask, watching their expressions, "What's the matter?"

"Nothing!" Janine immediately interjects, glancing quickly at Melanie before she looks back at you, "It's nothing. But that sucks, you gotta take a sneaky picture next time you're able to."

You snort, "Okay, I'll try, but I haven't seen him since we met the other day. He gets really busy with work, apparently."

"I'm sure he does..." Melanie replies, taking another sip of her drink.

After one too many cocktails, you called an uber to get back home. You're trying to stay focused as you walk up the stairs to your apartment, swaying ever so slightly with every step.

"Almost there," you mumble as you reach the final step, "God I'm tired.."

You round the corner and head towards your door, pulling your keys out of your bag.

Right as you find the right one, and struggle to slide it into the lock, your neighbors' door opens.

"Hey," a deep voice says, making you glance in its direction, "You okay?"

Your eyes find a pair of beautiful cerulean ones, your cheeks growing warm at his presence.

"Yeah," you drunkenly giggle, moving your attention back to your key as you try to slide it into the lock, "I'm fine, just need to figure out how to unlock the door.."

You hear a quiet chuckle and then approaching footsteps before Steve is standing right beside you, a large hand reaching out to cover your own.

"Here, let me help you."

He easily unlocks your door, handing the keys back to you with a smile.

"Thank you," you hiccup, smiling goofily up at him, "You didn't have to, I could have figured it out myself.. Eventually.."

"Yeah," he chuckles, smiling down at you, "But then you'd probably have spent half your night out here."

You giggle again, shaking your head, "Noooo, I would have figured it out."

"Mhmm," Steve hums, placing a strong hand on the small of your back when you stumble where you stand, "Sure. You need help getting inside?"

"No no," you immediately respond, frowning up at him seriously, "I'm a big girl, I can handle myself."

"Okay, big girl," Steve chuckles as you step over the threshold, "Just make sure to drink some water, okay? And maybe some painkillers, too."

"Will do," you grin, gripping the door handle to keep you steady, "Thank you, Steve."

"Anytime."

3 days later you're walking home from school when you notice a motorcycle parked in front of your building. You look it over for a minute, impressed by how well kept it is despite it being an older model. You don't know a lot about motorcycles, but you know enough to realize it's a Harley-Davidson and that the design is a classic.

Your dad taught you what little knowledge you possess on motorcycles since he owned a Harley himself back when you were a kid.

You hesitantly let your fingers graze over the cushioned leather seat, the material soft against your fingertips.

"This is nice," you mumble to yourself absentmindedly, brows furrowing momentarily. It's clean, practically shiny, which makes you wonder where it's usually parked. Whoever owns it must have a covered parking space for it.

Just as your fingers lift from the leather cushion, the building door opens. Your eyes flit up to the figure walking down the steps to your building, heading in your direction, and you feel a flurry of butterflies when you recognize the man approaching you.

He's wearing a brown leather jacket this time, with a grey t-shirt underneath, a pair of blue jeans to finish off the look.

You can practically see the outline of his undoubtedly defined abs through the tight t-shirt and the thought alone makes your cheeks heat up.

"Hi Steve," you say with a smile as he walks in your direction.

His face splits into a wide smile, shoving his hands into his pockets once he descends the steps and walks over to where you're standing by the bike, "Hey neighbor. Nice to see you again. How's your head?"

Haven't had any complaints so far...

You chuckle, resisting the urge to make the dirty joke that popped into your mind, a small shake of your head as you speak, "That was 3 days ago. Hangover is long gone. But thank you for helping me inside, that was nice of you."

"Of course," he beams, a bashful shrug of his shoulders, "It was nothing. What else are neighbors for, right?"

"Right," you nod, smiling shyly when your eyes flit down to the motorcycle in an effort to hide your flushing cheeks.

"You like it?" Steve asks when he notices your gaze trailing over the bike, "Just pulled it out of storage today. Figured it was time to take it for a ride, now that the weather is getting warmer."

Your eyes dart up to meet his, brows raised in surprise, "This is yours?"

"Yeah," Steve replies, patting the leather seat as if it was a horse, "I used to have a different one but I like this newer model, too. Drives like a dream."

"Of course it does," you snort, fingers lightly touching the sleek silver on the side, "It's a Soft Slim, they're spectacular. Harley does good work in general, but they certainly stepped their game up with this model."

Steve quirks a brow at you, his eyes slowly moving over your face as you continue looking at his bike, "You know motorcycles?"

You shrug, "A little bit. My dad is a Harley-Davidson enthusiast, so I know some. Not a lot, though. But I know this model. She's a beaut."

"Yeah, she is," Steve chuckles, his head tilting slightly as he looks at you, "I was just about to go for a ride. Care to join me?"

The brisk spring air breezing through your hair send shivers down your spine as you race down the almost deserted highway. Steve takes an exit, heading towards New Jersey, and you cling to him as your arms are wrapped around his waist.

He's in complete control of the bike in a way that seems almost effortless; it moves with him in every turn, and even at high speeds, you sense no hesitation in him.

It almost feels like flying.

Your arms tighten their hold a little more when the cold air nips at the bare skin on your neck, instinctively burrowing your face into his back.

He tilts his head slightly, and lifts his shoulder, seemingly inviting you to tuck your face into the crook of his neck.

You only hesitate for a moment before you bury your face in his neck, pressing your chest to his back, his warm skin heating you up almost instantly. He tilts his head more to give you proper space, leaning his back into your chest.

Your arms tighten in response, a small smile grazing your lips as you breathe in deeply. His clean and fresh scent envelopes you, making the shivers running down your back happen for a very different reason than before.

Your thighs tighten where they are on the outer side of his, holding onto him more firmly, and by all accounts, it appears he's enjoying it.

He speeds up experimentally, making you let out a small squeak before you hold onto him even tighter, and you swear you hear the melodic sound of his laugh before it's swallowed up by the wind.

Eventually Steve brings you back home, the city of Brooklyn enveloped in darkness, the lampposts on the side of the road the only thing lighting your way.

He drives into a spot in front of the building and you reluctantly unwrap your arms from his waist, sliding off the bike.

He parks the bike and gets off, standing in front of you with a soft smile on his lips. His cheeks are the faintest shade of pink, probably from the cold, and his hair is mussed up in a cute way that makes you yearn to run your fingers through it.

You smile up at him, another small shiver running down your spine, and Steve immediately notices. He shrugs his jacket off, placing it over your shoulders, "I'm sorry, I should have figured you'd get cold. I hope it wasn't too bad?"

He has no idea you've been shivering this entire time, or that your shivers are triggered by something other than the cold.

"It's okay," you respond with a warm smile, "I wasn't cold while you were driving, you're surprisingly hot."

Steve's lips lift into a goofy grin, making you immediately backtrack, "Oh my god, uh, I mean warm. You're surprisingly warm."

"I got it, don't worry," he chuckles, placing a protective hand on the small of your back before he starts guiding you in the direction of your building, "Let me walk you up."

You chuckle, walking beside him up the steps, "I don't think it counts as walking me up when you're going the same direction yourself."

He snorts and shakes his head, "Probably not. But I would have done it if I didn't live here, too."

"Such a gentleman," you muse, your fingers gripping the hem of his jacket. It smells like him, that clean, fresh scent, and you'd want to drown in that smell if you could.

"I try," he jokes, grinning at you quickly.

You reach your apartment door, and once you're standing in front of it, you slide his jacket off your shoulders, "Thank you for lending this to me. That was nice."

"Even if it was short lived," Steve responds as he takes his jacket from you, "I'm sorry I didn't give it to you before we left on the drive."

"Steve, don't worry about it," you reply earnestly, "I promise, I wasn't cold. Not until I had to unwrap myself from you, at least."

Steve's eyes lock on yours, a tension filling the small space between the two of you as you look up at him. His smile is soft, gentle, a quiet hum leaving his lips as he nods.

"I'm sorry you had to do that, then."

"It's alright," you grin teasingly, "Maybe I'll get to do it again some time."

"I would love that," Steve immediately responds, a wide smile breaking out on his lips, "For there to be a next time, I mean. Doesn't have to be a drive, either."

"No?" You tease, your head tilting as your eyes stay locked on his, "What did you have in mind?"

"A cup of coffee?" He asks, blue eyes shining in the dimly lit hallway.

"I like coffee," you smile, nodding, "I'd love to."

"It's a date," he firmly replies, his fingers fiddling with the keys in his hand, "Maybe in the next few days?"

"Sure!" You beam up at him, immediately reaching into your bag, "Let me give you my number, that might make it easier to plan."

"Oh, uh, yeah, okay," Steve responds, hands clasping over his pockets almost as if he's unsure where his phone is.

When he brings out a flip phone, you snort. "That's your phone?"

Steve's cheeks tinge pink, this time certainly not from the cold, a small nod of his head, "Yeah, I uh.. I'm not really good with technology. Needed something easy."

You chuckle, "Okay, fair enough."

You take his phone, putting your number in and sending yourself a text. "There. Now we have each others numbers. Just text me when you have time to grab that cup of coffee."

"Will do," Steve responds, lingering for a moment as he stands in front of you.

When he suddenly leans down and places a quick kiss on your cheek, your breath hitches, and you fight the urge to pull him closer.

"I had a great time," he says as he takes a few steps backwards, in the direction of his apartment, "Have a good night."

"Goodnight, Steve."

A few days pass without you running into Steve in the hallway again. It's also been very quiet, you haven't heard a peep from your neighbor, which is surprising because the walls aren't that thick. You can always hear your downstairs neighbor, especially if they're listening to music or have people over, so you're surprised you never hear anything from Steve.

No movement, no accidental run ins, no noises. Nothing. Only silence.

It makes you wonder if he's even home.

A week after your bike ride, you finally hear from him.

You're sitting on your couch, watching one of your favorite shows on TV while binging a tub of ice cream. It's Saturday night, and you weren't in the mood to go out even though your friends tried to convince you. It'd been a long week at university and the only thing you were in the mood for this weekend was to stay at home in your sweats and watch silly sitcoms to get your mind to relax.

You phone chimes just after 8pm, alerting you to a text message.

You pick up your phone while licking your spoonful of ice cream clean, your eyes flicking from the TV to your phone screen. Your brows raise in surprise when you see who it's from, a snort leaving your lips.

Steve Rogers: How's your Saturday night?

You: Oh hello there, stranger. I was starting to think perhaps you'd moved

Steve Rogers: I'm sorry, I had a work emergency I had to take care of. I've been gone for the past few days, just got back. How has your week been?

Your brows furrow at his response. What does this guy do for work?

The last time you asked, his response was pretty vague, but he obviously does something that's important enough for him to leave without notice. Often.

You: It's been alright, nothing exciting to report. Mainly just studying and classes. How's yours been?

Steve Rogers: A little rough. Had to deal with a tough project at work, but it's over now, luckily. At home licking my wounds now

You: Wounds? Literal or metaphorical?

Steve Rogers: Little of both

You blink in surprise, putting down your ice cream to be able to text quicker.

You: What? Are you hurt?

Steve Rogers: I'll be okay, I'm just tired. I'm sorry I didn't follow up on our coffee date, though. I hope you didn't lose faith in me

You: Was just about to, but then you texted, so I'll give you another chance

Steve Rogers: Yeah? When do you have time?

Steve Rogers: Are you busy right now?

Your brows raise in surprise at the double text as well as the question.

You: It's a little late for coffee, don't you think?

Steve Rogers: How about tea, then?

You manage to tidy yourself up a little bit, tossing on a tank-top instead of the oversized shirt you were wearing when there's a knock on your door.

You're still in your sweats from earlier, but you don't really mind that; he messaged you with very short notice, so he couldn't exactly be expecting you to look all dressed up.

You unlock your door before opening it, grinning up at Steve when he comes into view, "Hey there."

"Hi," Steve smiles, his hands shoved into his pockets, "Nice to see you again."

You let your eyes trail over his form; he's in a white t-shirt, one that's tight and allows you to see the firm outline of his torso (you suspect tight t-shirts are his signature, by now), and you apparently guessed right on keeping your sweats on, because he's in a pair of his own. A grey pair, to be exact.

Your eyes move up to take in the features of his face, lingering on his beautiful, baby blue eyes and pink plump lips. But then your brows instantly furrow when you notice the small mark on his cheekbone.

"Oh," you breathe out, instinctively stepping closer, and before you can even stop yourself, you reach up, letting your fingers gently touch the skin right below the mark, "Are you okay?"

You can tell Steve tenses at your touch, making you immediately remove your hand before you step back again, mumbling, "Uh, sorry, I shouldn't-"

"No, it's alright," Steve interrupts, putting up a hand to stop you, "Don't worry, I was just caught off guard. It hurts a little, but it'll go away soon. Promise."

"Okay," you reply with a small nod, smiling softly as your eyes meet his. Then you step aside, gesturing to your apartment, "Well, come on in."

Steve smiles as he walks inside, continuing further as you close the door behind him. He wanders into the open kitchen, eyes moving over the space and to the living room area.

"This is nice," he hums, placing his hands in his pockets, "I like what you did with the place."

You chuckle, "Thanks. I only buy the finest Ikea furniture."

Steve lets out a melodic laugh, following your movement when you walk into the kitchen. You reach up to pull open the cupboard as you ask, "So, what kind of tea do you like?"

You don't hear a response immediately, but you almost jump in surprise when you suddenly hear his voice from right behind you, "What kinds do you have?"

You glance over your shoulder, eyes locking with the blonde man towering over you. You smirk, "Well, you tell me. Seems like you can see better than I can."

Steve snorts, stepping closer before his attention is pulled to the inside of the cupboard. He reaches up, his chest brushing against your back when he grabs for a packet and places it on the counter in front of you, "I like this one."

You release a quiet, unsteady breath when you feel the warmth of him pressing against your back, your fingers reaching for the packet of tea.

"Black tea," you hum, picking two tea bags out of the box, "Good choice."

You slide a little to the side, reaching for two mugs in a different cupboard, still nervously aware of his close presence.

"I'm glad you think so," Steve hums, following your movement. He stands behind you again, taking the mugs for you when you stand up on your tip toes to reach them, "Did you know that was the kind of tea the British soldiers drank during World War II?"

Your brows raise in surprise, looking up at him over your shoulder, "No, I didn't. That's pretty cool."

Steve grins, nodding as he places the two mugs on the counter, "Yeah, uh, actually the British government bought out practically all the tea in Europe in order to be able to give them to the soldiers on the frontlines."

"Wow," you respond, your brows furrowing, "That's actually crazy. How could they even do that?"

You walk over to the kettle, filling it with water so you can boil it, while Steve moves to lean on your kitchen counter. He shrugs, "Guess they just decided it was worth it, to keep morale up."

"Hm," you hum, turning on the kettle before you turn to him, "That was really nice of them. I didn't think the government cared much about their soldiers, to be honest. All you ever hear about are the glory while they're away, and then those horror stories when they come back and have PTSD."

Steve's face falls a little, his hands going back into his pockets as he nods slowly, "Yeah, I guess you're right. Perhaps the British government cared more about their soldiers then they do here.."

"Yeah," you mumble, your fingers reaching for the packet to fiddle with it, "My brother was actually in the army.."

"He was?" Steve asks curiously, "For how long?"

"A long time," you sigh, "Too long. He wasn't the same when he came back home.."

"That happens," Steve replies quietly, "A lot, unfortunately."

You glance over at him, watching how his eyes are trained on the floor. You tilt your head, asking hesitantly, "Is that something you know a lot about? The army?"

"Kinda," he shrugs, offering you a small smile when he looks back up at you, "I was also in the army. I still kind of am, I guess.." He cringes a little, making you turn to directly face him.

You take a small step closer, slowly lifting your hand until your fingers are almost brushing his cheek as you hold eye contact, "Is that how you got this?"

Steve's lips part in a nervous breath when you lean closer, his hands bracing the edge of the counter as he leans on it. His baby blues hold yours, dipping his head ever so slightly until your fingertips trail over his skin.

"Yeah, I guess you could say that."

"But you're not shipped out?" You inquire, your fingers trailing down his cheek to his jaw, "You live here, and you don't go away for months at a time."

"I'm a.. different kind of soldier," he whispers, his face slowly leaning closer to yours, "But I used to be in the army."

"So, you got promoted?" You tease, your voice low. Your fingers trail down his jaw, to the column of his neck, Steve's breath hitching when the delicate touch tickles his skin.

"You could say that," he smiles softly, his eyes burning into yours intensely as he continues slowly leaning closer, "The job isn't very different, though. But I get to go home more often."

You hum, nodding slowly as your fingers curl around his neck hesitantly. You break eye contact for a moment, eyes dropping to his lips, your stomach doing a flip when his tongue darts out to lick them.

Your eyes raise up to meet his again, the hand curled around the back of his neck slowly pulling him closer until you can feel your breaths mixing.

You look up at him with wide eyes, your nerves on edge, and it's almost like your mind goes blank when he whispers, "Can I kiss you?"

You nod immediately, there's no way in hell you'd ever say no.

Steve's eyes drop to your lips, inching himself closer until they softly brush over yours, and then you let out a content sigh when he presses them firmly against your own. You pull him closer by the hand curled around his neck, one large hand landing on your waist to pull you into his chest.

Your other hand slides up his chest to his shoulder, gripping it as your lips glide over his in perfect synchronization.

You lose yourself in the softness of his lips, your unsteady breaths mixing, and you're only faintly aware when you hear the water boiling in the background.

4K notes · View notes

espinosaurusrexex · 29 days

Text

Remember Me

WinterSoldier!BuckyBarnes x Female!Reader

summary: After a fight against the most notorious Hydra agent of all, Steve and you discover that your assumed diseased friend Bucky is still alive. Old wounds resurface as you are confronted with the grappling reality that you have lived vastly different lives for the past 70 years. Will he remember your shared history? And most importantly: does he still feel the same?

word count: 3.1k

a/n: Just a short piece that I managed to finish. I know it's not a lot, but I hope you enjoy anyway 💕

warnings: a bunch of fluff and angst, mentions of war, mentions of sexism, swearing, Bucky is really broken in this one, happy ending (:

･ﾟ✫* 𝒎𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕 ｡✭･ﾟ

“Proceed with caution, unidentified shooter on bridge. I repeat: unidentified shooter. It is not clear what the motive is. Take cover and shoot on sight.”

“Dispatch, this is Captain America - we’ll take it from here.”

“With all due respect, Cap, I will keep my men on site to keep your cover.”

“I appreciate it.”

“Least I can do for you, sir.”

“Stop chatting it up with the police and do your job, Rogers.”

“Alright, alright.”

You chuckled and turned to Tony. “How long are we out?”

“Three minutes, 46 seconds.”

“You gonna survive that long, Stevie?”

“That guy’s got a good aim on him, gotta give him that.”

Muffled noises pushed through your earpiece before you stepped into the back of the Quinjet to gear up.

“Can’t let him do anything. It’s one guy they’re fighting... one.”

“Yeah, one Hydra-trained assassin who’s apparently immortal and got more deaths on his record than Romanoff.”

You huffed as the meeting recollected in your mind. The Winter Soldier had been the newest pain in the Avenger’s asses ever since you discovered that Hydra was still operating in the shadows of S.H.I.E.L.D.

“They’re just making a show out of everything, huh?”

You strapped your gloves over your wrists and watched as Tony chuckled in the pilot seat. You and him had become good friends over the past few years. Ever since you and Steve had been discovered in the frozen airship of what you had thought to be your last mission about 70 years ago, you and Captain America had woken up in a vastly different world. One through which Howard’s son, Tony, gladly guided you.

Both you and Steve were overwhelmed by the amount of changes the world had endured while you had soundly served your time as human popsicles, though Captain America seemed to struggle a little more with 21st-century technology and norms.

It was fine, Steve had always been a little old-fashioned, even back in the day. You for one were delighted to learn about all the opportunities the world had to offer for women and other people who couldn’t have dreamed of any in the 40s. Because while Steve was celebrated for being the face of hope for the American people, you were still dodging snide comments doubting your place in the Army. And while you tried not to let anyone see the toll it took on you, it was the reason for enough nights you spent with Peggy sharing stories over a bottle of wine.

You both decided the important men in your life should never find out. Though, of course, your not-so-secret didn’t stay hidden from Bucky for long. Which was one of the reasons you had jumped on that plane with Steve. Even when Bucky was already dead. Even when Steve was still oblivious. You constantly needed to prove yourself. But this one time, it had actually changed something – well, time had.

You shook your head free of that thought and walked towards the cargo hatch. Tony had landed the Quinjet – it was go time.

“Ready?”

“That guy won’t know what happened to him when we’re done with him.”

“Let’s rock his world, then,” Tony winked before his helmet closed and he flew out of the jet. You were close behind him, running the short distance from the ramp to the bridge from which you swung yourself off with a grappling hook.

“What’s the status?”

“I’ve been shot.”

“I’ve got it, Bearcat check on Steve. He looks ridiculously helpless.”

“Roger that,” you sprinted towards the two fighting men on the street, as the Winter soldier threw Steve to the ground, his shield nowhere to be seen.

“Okay, my turn.” You stepped in front of him, analyzing his movements, and dodging punches, trying to get some in yourself.

“Oh come on, that’s not fair.” You huffed when he took a knife out of your leg holster and almost acrobatically threw it over your head just to graze your cheek with the blade.

He had knocked off your guns at this point, leaving you with choking wire and some smaller daggers in your jacket. When he turned the right angle, you jumped his shoulders and locked your thighs around his neck, kicking the knife out of his hand and watching as he ripped your choking wire in half. Damn.

“Now, that’s not nice.” You threw the torn metal to the side as The winter soldier struggled to get you off him. A look to Steve told you he had a new plan, and with a short nod, you signaled your understanding to him.

“But if you wanna be like that...” Steve threw you his shield and in a swift motion you managed to drag it over the soldier's head. He pushed his metal arm forward just in time, though your hit had already knocked the mask off his face.

When the shield came down, you heard Steve’s footsteps halt next to you, the world going quiet.

Your stomach churned when you watched blue eyes twitch between the dark smudges. Familiar and oh-so strange at the same time.

“Bucky?” Steve stammered, and at the sound of his name, goosebumps rippled over your skin.

The Winter Soldier’s look darkened before he reached for a gun. “Who the hell is Bucky?”

From then on, the day seemed like a blur. You remembered Sam knocking Bucky down and the lot of you flying back to the compound on standby. Steve was functioning a lot better than you were, considering the man you thought to be dead for over 70 years was currently handcuffed to a handrail on your jet.

James “Bucky” fucking Barnes. Captain America’s best friend, founding member of the howling commandos, infamous war hero apparently turned assassin, and the man who stole your heart somewhere along the way.

You dared a glance at the chained-up, unconscious brunette in the corner as Steve sat down next to you, a calming hand squeezing your shoulder.

“Can I get you anything?”

You ignored him. “How are you not freaking out?” You whispered through glassy eyes instead.

Steve’s expression softened when he pulled you into his chest, his other hand pressing your head further into him. His heart was hammering beneath his ribcage, his fingers cold to the touch.

“I am. Just trying to be a captain.” His voice was strained when he mumbled into your hair.

You just nodded in understanding, finding comfort in the fact you weren’t the only one feeling this way.

❁ ❁ ❁

You watched him through the glass of the interrogation room with your arms crossed before your chest. Buck was sitting at the table, his head hung low, his dark hair falling in wet stands into his face. He didn’t move a muscle. For half an eternity, he stared at the table his wrists were chained to, almost statue-like. But when he finally looked up, you could see the confusion and nervousness in his ocean-blue eyes.

They had given him time to recover, to shower, and feel like a human again. They forced him into normal clothes and offered him a bed to sleep. But it wasn’t enough. The man you were looking at was terrified and lost - exhausted and overwhelmed.

Bucky visibly tensed when the door opened and Steve stepped into his sight. They spent the next hour reconstructing his past. Steve told him how he had ended up in the 21st century and by the end of their conversations, the tension was a lot less static.

“She’s alive,” Bucky stated and tore his eyes away from Steve to look at the one-way glass.

“She’s a tough one. Survived the crash without super soldier serum and came out of the ice just as unharmed as I did.”

“What are the odds?” Bucky chuckled bitterly. “What are the fucking odds we all end up together again?”

Steve only gifted his friend a sympathetic smile along with a squeeze to his shoulder. “Take it as a chance.”

“Feels like a punishment.”

They were locking eyes and even though you were watching the interaction from the outside, you could feel the atmosphere turn somber. The men were staring at each other in silence for a while, though you knew there was an entire discussion happening in their eyes.

“Does she... does she want to see me?” Bucky’s voice was hesitant and broken. And you couldn’t help but somehow imagine a different question nestled in his words.

You almost had to stop yourself from touching the glass with your hands, wanting to tell him that you were already seeing him - really seeing him.

“Why don’t you ask her yourself?” Steve stood and with a last smile to Bucky, he exited the room.

This was it. The door was open. The love of your life sitting only a few feet from it. Though it seemed like he was trapped inside another’s body.

“I’ll give you some privacy,” Steve murmured as he stood in the doorway looking at you by the window. And you just nodded, trying to suppress your pulse rushing in your ears.

“Thanks.” It was only a whisper. You weren’t used to your voice being this small. And Steve didn’t seem so either. He was looking at you with sad eyes, fists clenched by his sides. There was nothing he could do to make you feel better. Not this time. And he seemed to know so. With one last tight smile, he sent a short nod your way and then left.

❁ ❁ ❁

Bucky didn’t look at you when you finally built up the courage to step inside his room. He was much bigger than you remembered. Thick muscles adorned his arms and shoulders. Shaggy, longer hair fell from his head and over his scrunched brows. His left arm was entirely of metal, a red star reminding him who had taken claim to him several decades ago.

If you hadn’t known, the man before you had almost no resemblance to the soldier you loved in 1941. He had been lean and full of life. He was broken now. And you were terrified someone had taken the very thing from him that would keep him from becoming himself again.

Without a word you approached Bucky, cupped his hands with yours, and undid the restraints that tied him to the table. And this was the first time he looked at you. Really looked at you. Bucky’s piercing blue stare was full of awe and sorrow, a deep pain etched beneath the grey flecks within the vibrant color.

You sat down beside him.

“Hey.” Your voice was shaky, dragging a long silence in its wake that only made your heart beat faster.

“Hello,” Bucky finally whispered, breaking the spell. His voice was a raw timbre, like a long-forgotten melody. And so much more tangible now that you weren’t listening to it through a speaker.

But that was it. Neither of you spoke afterward.

There was so much that could have been said, so much that could have been exchanged, known, explored about the other. And yet it didn’t feel like any of the words known to you were enough to break the static tension in the room. You were just looking at Bucky, scanning every part of his body like it was a flash card for the most important test of your life.

So, here you were: With the opportunity of a lifetime right at your fingertips and the confidence of a kicked puppy settled deep in your wounded soul. The person you had known for the longest looked so timid as if he were looking at a stranger. Not that he had ever been shy about strangers back in the day. But this was different. This was strange and beautiful, and scary, and exciting. No book in the world held the answers as to what to do in this situation.

And the solution was so easy: you just had to say something. So why didn’t your damn mouth open?

The speaker above your heads crackled and then Tony’s voice rang through the room. And for the first time in what felt like hours, a tiny bit of the weight on your shoulders lifted with it. “Bearcat, If you don’t open your mouth and put the guy out of his misery in 5 seconds, I’ll personally mediate this incredibly static confrontation.”

You rolled your eyes and then glared at the mirror, knowing full well Tony was watching you despite your asking him to leave. You mouthed a ‘shut it’ towards the glass and then turned in shock when a familiar voice rose from the silence.”

“Bearcat?”

You stared at Bucky with soft eyes. There was an innocence in the way he slowly guided this conversation - almost like he’d always had. It was an easy question, a nice entry to the heavier stuff that was bound to be discussed.

And just as you began to explain, it dawned on you how much you had missed about each other. How differently your life could have been if it weren’t for the cruel turn of fate.

“When Steve and I were discovered, S.H.I.E.L.D. was our home for a long time. They tried to put us in apartments, even set us up with chaperones to guide us through the new century.” Bucky looked intrigued, even leaning forth as he listened intently. You wondered if he ever realized how much time had passed when he was the winter soldier... if anyone ever cared to tell him. “But it wasn’t until I met Natasha that I felt like I had arrived. She showed me so many things and trained with me until I became an agent here. Howard’s son came up with the nickname. He reminds me of him.” You smiled and shook your head “He’s a pain in my ass but a genius that can be genuinely helpful even though I don’t want to admit it at times. I haven’t grasped the explanation fully, but apparently, my fast learning and efficiency when it came to fighting reminded him of one of those small powerful fighter jets that were finished just after the war.” You chuckled at the memory before your eyes found Becky’s again only to see pain all over his face.

A silent tear rolled down his cheek and hit the floor before you could see it stain his skin. “I'm so sorry.” His voice was shaking, his body trying to make itself smaller but failing miserably with all the muscle surrounding it. He took up the room and your heart right along with it.

“Hey you have nothing to apologize for, you hear me.” You cradled his face and his hands instantly covered yours, only for his metal one to retract just as fast again. He was sorrowful and it made your heart ache.

“You’ve been navigating through so much alone and this is yet another thing you had to do without me.” He confessed through his tears and squeezed his eyes shut. He hadn’t changed within - always caring for everyone around him and never putting himself first.

“I’m fine. Was then and am now.” You ensured him. “If you want to worry about someone, take Steve. He’s a lot more overwhelmed than I am.” Bucky chuckled through his tears, a deep seriousness settling in his eyes. “If anything, I’m sorry we didn’t save you sooner.”

He shook his head. “You couldn’t have known.” And there it was: a glimpse of the loving, caring, charming man you’d known so many years ago. A small smile snuck onto your face at the revelation and a spark of hope shot through your body.

“I haven’t stopped thinking about you,” you confessed, "We never had the time to actually be just us. To live all the dreams we shared back then.”

Bucky's eyes were full of sorrow before he closed them and pressed his forehead to yours. “I wish I could say I missed you,” he whispered and slung his arm around you, “But I didn’t remember.”

“And that’s not your fault, you hear me.” Your hand stroked over his damp hair, pulling it back and making Bucky look at you again. “None of this is your fault. Don’t you ever doubt yourself. What happened to you is horrible. And I vow to kill every single person responsible for keeping us apart for this long. But not once will anyone ever consider this your fault.”

Bucky averted his eyes and turned his head but you were quick to catch his face with your hand. “Promise me you won’t beat yourself up. Please. That’s all I ask of you. Let Steve and me handle the rest and focus on becoming comfortable in your skin again. I can’t wait to meet the man you can become.”

“You don’t want to know me, doll. Not anymore. Even if it wasn’t my fault, it changed me. I’m not the man you-“ he stopped talking as you watched regret flash over his features. “I don’t think I can give you what you deserve.”

“I don’t care what I deserve, Bucky. I want you. I always have and that won’t change because some bullies tried to brainwash you. The very fact that we are here talking like this shows how much stronger you are than them. How the good in you never wavered.”

“But I can’t even trust myself. How can I expect you to do so of me?”

You cradled his head harsher as you felt your own tears roll down your cheek. “All I need is for you to try and trust me. We’ll figure this out... like we always do.”

Bucky’s flesh hand had fallen to your thigh, a soft thumb stroking over your leg and he watched the movement in awe. You didn’t know how long it had been since he had last felt comfort but you were determined to make up for all the lost time. With the wild beating of your heart, you took his metal hand and laved your fingers with his, watching as Bucky’s eyes glued to your smaller hand in his. There was no fear of what could happen, no aversion towards the alien element attached to his body. And then, finally, he encased your hand with his silver fingers.

Your other hand still stroked his cheek and you waited until he caught your gaze again. And once he did, you did not hesitate to slowly push your lips to his.

Just a short, sweet kiss. One that held more words than you could ever say. And then you waited. What for? Maybe a rejection, the shake of his head, or the sheer confidence with which he used to kiss you decades back.

Bucky’s breaths were shaky, his hands still touching you and sending softly timid comfort through your body. He held your gaze for a second... and then, he finally kissed you back.

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subwaysurf45 · 2 years

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The Time of the Prey (6)

Summary: The younger sister of the most talked about princess in the kingdoms really can’t do much except smile and nod. When Natasha, your sister, finally goes to moves all of you to Shieldshire to marry her beloved Prince Steve you are left with your art, all alone. But one Knight took it upon himself to keep you company, and that company was all you needed to get through wedding season. Will that company last or will it be ripped away from the both of you? A war is starting and it seems targets are being made.

Pairing: Knight!Bucky x Princess!Reader

Words: 3k

Warnings: ANGST, violence, whipping, descriptions of injuries, near death

Series Masterlist II Series Playlist

The chamber was still dark and grimy, the exact same position from before did not change your point of view but rather highlighted everything dirty about where you were being held. Rats would scramble across the floor and somehow disappear in thin air, you never knew where they went. With a lack of food and water, you tried to convince yourself half of the things you were seeing were just hallucinations from being sleep deprived and malnourished.

Today was the day you were going to break out, you knew it. There was this pit in your stomach that told you so, at least you hoped that’s what your body was telling you.

The sound of the dungeon door opening didn’t affect you anymore, you wouldn’t pretend to sleep or act small. Now, your eyes watched the stairs as the man made his way down to greet you, there was no more timidness in you.

“We’re leaving this room today,” he muttered to himself, going to your ties and loosening them.

At this moment you knew you could fight him off and run out of the castle, but in reality that wouldn’t work. There would be too many guards to get through, you were deep in the middle of the castle and needed to wait until you were closer to the perimeter. There was also the thought of gaining trust, if you didn’t try to sprint right away the man would be kinder to you and not hold your chains too tightly.

“May I ask what we are doing?” you peered over your shoulder to look at him, you were getting the sense he didn’t like where he was taking you.

“I don’t agree with the Crown’s methods sometimes,” he spoke quietly as he walked your shaky legs to the stairs, “they are too cruel, you’re not even from Red River and we are treating you this way.” it took a long time for you to get up all the stairs.

“So what are we doing?” you asked out of breath.

“Sending a message, Princess.” was all he said, not answering any more questions as he walked you closer to a door with two guards standing on either side.

When the door opened and the light poured in your body physically cringed, the brightness was too much for your eyes that had fully adjusted to the dark dungeon. The man kept walking with you but you had yet to gain your bearings, stumbling and trying to see where you were going. With your vision lost, your hearing tuned up, picking up the sounds of cheers and screams, they were happy and almost excited.

“Is this a beheading?” you asked no one in particular.

“No, but close.”

When your eyes fully opened, the scene you were greeted with was the many faces of Hydra’s Hill, they had fruits in their hands, ready to throw. You looked off the stage to see the worn down houses and poor living conditions, there were stray dogs who were strictly skin and bone running around; their bodies matched their owners. It was an angry crowd, unbrushed teeth flashed at you as they screamed.

When you looked over your shoulder you saw a pole standing in the middle of the stage, a hooded man standing beside it. Before you could ask another question hands were on you, pushing you and tying you up to the pole, causing the screams to erupt even louder.

Your nerves were boiling up, choking you from the inside and making it harder to breathe. As royalty you knew of many public whippings, you always voted against punishment like that so you never watched but Natasha would have to be there for someone to back the Crown. Your legs shook as you stood there, head pressed against the pole so you didn’t know when it was coming.

“Ladies and gentlemen!” a voice yelled, “welcome,” he paused, “today we have a very special show for you all, may I introduce Princess Y/N!” he called and the crowd yelled again, this time you felt tomatoes and other liquidly vegetables hitting you. “I know, I know it’s a lot…we haven’t had a public whipping of royalty in years, let me tell you,” his voice was so painfully charismatic, he walked around to meet your point of view, “and might I add our first royal whipping of a princess, how about that?” he winked.

He was Brock Rumlow, the Hydras had ruled Hydra’s Hill for years. Brock was a bastard boy, born out of wedlock and from a normal lady of the court. If he was born in wedlock he’d be named Brock Hydra but Rumlow was the bastard’s name, given to any and all people born from cheating and fornication. Though technically Brock was a Prince he would never have that title, but he acted like he did.

“I don’t want to keep you all waiting,” he turned back to the crowd, “this is no punishment to Princess Y/N, she’s done nothing wrong, this is simply a message…a message to not fuck with the Hydras!” he screamed and you couldn’t see them but you felt another wave of objects being thrown at you. “Let the message begin.”

He walked away and sat in his chair, no other family member was there to watch. The hooded man approached you and stood in your line of vision first, you could see his grey eyes staring at you. When he walked away your sense of what was happening left you completely, you were staring at planks of wood on a door and relied only on your hearing. It scared you to feel hands grasp the top of the back of your dress and tug, it only took one pull for it to rip down your back and give the maester open ground to work with. When the whip was picked up the screams started again, you knew it was coming and closed your eyes.

You did not brace for impact, you did not begin to cry, you did not flinch at the slightest sound. All you thought of was your father, the large man smacking you at random, it always caught you so off guard so you grew used to the surprise. Your teeth dug into your bottom lip, that was all you were going to give them.

The initial impact was numb to you, but the sting afterwards felt like molten lava being poured down your back. The crack of the whip came after the feeling, your brows pinched for a moment before letting you. You did not scream, the only reaction was the blood falling down your back. The whip cracked again and a small peep fell from your lips but no one heard, you quickly pressed down harder on your bottom lip.

Brock stood in front of you, leaned down to meet your eyes, “give me a tear, why don’t you?” he smirked, “maybe a plea for mercy or forgiveness, huh?” his hand reached out and cupped your cheek, making you give more of a disgusted reaction than the torure. His hands were coarse and rough, nothing like James’.

“Never,” you gritted out right before the whip struck you again.

“Come on,” he pouted, “Ser James is not here to save you, dear, there’s no need to hold on, he’ll probably never come, just give in and give my people a show.”

“Never,” you said again, “you will never pull a scream or a tear from me, do you understand?” a sadistic smirk appeared on your face, “when I escape these chains and find my will to fight again I will hunt you down myself and tear your body a-” the whip came again, your body was getting weaker, “a-apart, slowly but surely I will feed your limbs to my dogs and use your blood as paint, my p-picture will be a portrait of your f-fff-fucking head on a spike, I’ll send it to your father and whore mother you fucking bastard.” you did not raise your voice, the energy to do so had left you already. Seeing the look on Brock’s face was enough to keep you conscious, he was red and livid, almost shaking as he stood there.

The whip went rogue and the force of it caused the chains to break, you acted like nothing happened and no one noticed. There was a break in the whippings for a moment.

This was your moment.

You did not know what it looked like behind you now, but you turned around anyways, dodging the maester and running off the stage, shoving and pushing the shocked common folk. None of them knew what to do, you kept running. The group became more dispersed and people who reached out to grab you were too late, you sprinted, feeling rocks and wood splinter into your feet but you didn’t care. Your dress was bunched up in your hands as the wind blew your hair back and helped you see where you were running to.

After turning into the small straw houses you leaned back against a wall and pressed flat against it, feeling your open wounds sting as they touched the straw. Your heart beat rang in your ears, it was easier to breathe because your corset was ripped but the stinging did not go away. You knew you needed to keep moving, they would catch up to you and find you.

Before you could move any further the sound of barking caught your attention, it was a black dog, weak and frail. You raised your hand and held it out for it to smell, waiting to gain its trust.

“Hello,” you whispered, “what’s your name, little guy?” there was no collar or chain, it was a stray. “Do you know how to get out of here?” once it smelt your hand and bowed his head to begin to pet it, getting under its chin and behind the ears. You saved a small portion of your bread everyday to make sure you ate something on the days they decided to not give you food, slowly, you held it out and the dog took it quickly. “Forest?” you asked and the dog tilted his head, “forest time?” the dog barked again and began to walk.

You followed slowly and carefully, looking both ways and behind your back to make sure no one was following you. The dog walked at a fast pace, obviously wanting time in the forest, you didn’t know why that word meant too much to it but you didn’t care, as long as you got out of there as fast as possible.

As you passed through you saw families sitting in their small huts, children red and riddled with sickness. The sewage was dumped through the streets of the pooest people, a constant filter of grey covered the entire kingdom, you knew this was Flea Bottom, the poorest section of any kingdom.

There were very few stands for food around, just bread on the ground and nothing else. The children and adults looked melnourished and angry, almost as if a revolution was starting to begin.

“You look lost, my dear,” an old women approached you, clutching a basket firml in her hand.

You made sure she could not see your back, you quickly fixed your dress as well, “I’m visiting family here, that is all.”

“Your family lives down here?” she questioned, “that dress says otherwise,” her eyes focused on your face for a moment, looking past all the grime and dirt she was quick to figure it out, “follow me, dear, bring that dog with you,” she quickly turned and began to walk away.

After looking over your shoulder you followed, taking caution to not stand too close, you didn’t know if there was a guard ready to snatch you up again, the old lady turned and twisted through the huts, waving hello at people sitting outside. Once she got to her hut she quickly ushered you, looking around to see if anyone saw.

“Alright,” she locked her door, “let me see those wounds.”

“I can not accept the help,” you held your hands out, “I must get going- back to my family I’m visiting-”

“Princess y/n, second born daughter of Lady Melina, offspring of the great King Alexie, a troubles man might I add, but a great King of the Southlands, am I correct?” she sat across from you at her table, hands folded together.

“Yes,” you lowered your head.

“I may be old, dear, but I am not blind,” she stood again, “and for that reason, if an old woman like myself can spot you, so can the guards…we must change you before you hit the wall, they’ll pick you apart easily, let me look in my room.” she walked through a passageway.

“I can not accept a dress, ma’am, that is too much,” you stood and followed her.

“Don’t worry,” she held out a very beige and very boring dress, “it’s my least favourite, the kind where I do not mind if you spill blood on it- speaking of which let me grab my medicine.”

“You have medicine down here?” you asked as you followed her.

“I stole it,” she admitted openly, looking over her shoulder, “I’ve long enough that my taxes have already paid for it, especially here.”

“I’ve heard the common folk are unhappy with the government here,” you remembered hearing that when you sat in at a meeting at home.

“Unhappy?” she repeated, placing both hands on you to sit you down again, “we are furious, we’ve got no food or clean water, the amount of stillborns we’ve had is ridiculous and it seems everyone is dying, I won’t be surprised if I’m gone in a fortnight,” she placed some ointment on the table, a thick paste, “this will help.”

It was cool when it touched your back, soothing the burning feeling of infection, you stared at her small hut as she helped you, looking at the rotten fruit on her table and very dirty looking water in her sink. Sewage seeped in from under her door, one that didn’t fit right on its hinges.

“Are you happy here?” you asked quietly.

She didn’t respond, “I will be dead soon, the afterlife is where I can see my lover and my mother again, for that reason alone I am happy, because I know soon it’ll be my end and into a new life with the people who I love so dearly,” she whispered as she worked, “but my daughter is not happy, and my grand daughter isn’t either, both leading the silent revolution.”

“Silent?” you asked, looking over your shoulder but feeling her pushing your head straight again.

“Yes,” the old lady whispered again, “they do not know who is a spy and who is real, it’s almost as if the government can read their thoughts, we call them the Thought Police, for some reason they find out who is a revolutionary extremely fast, but my girls will be happy to die for their cause, I know they are.”

Her hands pulled away from your back and she walked around the table to see you, “you look thin, deathly thin, may I give you food to take with you?” she picked up a rotten apple, and you saw a worm crawl out of it.

“I’ve already overstayed my welcome, I think, your hospitality has been wonderful, gratitude to you and your family,” you picked up the dress and quickly changed, feeling the itchy fabric up against your skin. “I must be on my leave.”

The old lady stood there with her arms crossed, “high royals speak another langue, I tell you something,” she shook her head with a smile, “you seem to cram every word into these sentences when in reality you could have said no thanks, see you later…” she giggled to herself, “I guess that’s just the class divide, oh well.”

“It’s how I was taught,” you bashfully looked at the ground, “I will say before I see you later,” you both giggled, “my advice is to leave for a while, Shieldshire is coming for war, I know they are, if you want to continue this revolution then you should leave and come back once the city has fallen,” your hand picked up her cold one, “so you don’t fall with it.”

The old lady pushed her hair out of her face before placing her other hand on top of your, “my father was a captain of a ship, he took many people over from the Eastern Side to the New Land, where we stand right now,” her eyes flickered between yours, “after five trips his boat was shot down, a captain always goes down with the ship,” she could the sadness in your eyes, “but if this ship holds and the captain walks the plank, we will have to ruler or king given to us through blood, simply a vote of the people.”

“A vote of the people sounds nice,” you couldn’t help but smile at her bravery, her strength, “what is your name?”

“I don’t have one,” it came out as a whisper, “no one does, Princess Y/N.”

The black dog was still outside the hut when you opened the door, the dirt and grime matched the new dress you were wearing. As you walked around no one looked at you, thinking you were one of them.

Right before you were about to hit the wall you saw a guard round the corner, for a moment you were going to run but you stayed calm. Nodding at him and walking right past him, he didn’t say a thing or even regard you for that matter, you knew you could get out of here.

When you hit the wall you looked over your shoulder for a final time before looking down to see the dog on the other side, it had crawled under a hole it had made over the course of years. With the semi-open wounds on your back you knew it wasn’t a great idea but at this point there was no way out. So you crawled, the wooden wall caught a few pieces of your dress and scrapes on your back, making you have to stop and breathe.

“I’m out,” you whispered to yourself, turning around and seeing the wall, “I’m…” you couldn’t wait and appreciate your escape, you needed to run.

Your bare feet pounded hard against the grass which quickly turned into forest, Hydra’s Hill was not known for it’s lumber so the trees were very close together, after five seconds of running you could not see the castle behind you. All you could hear was your heartbeat in your ears and the sound of you dress ripping against the exposed roots and thrones, your back screamed as the cuts tried to close but were quickly reopened again.

The dog you had acquainted was no longer beside you, it must hace turned around or not dared venture into the forest. When your body felt like giving out you pushed a little harder, screaming in agony as you ran, yo ucould not hear anyone chasing you but the thought of going back there made you move your feet a little faster. The smell of blood was everywhere, you could feel it falling down your back and getting between your toes as the sticks and branches cut your foot.

You hadn’t seen it because of the vast amount of leaves covering the forest floor but there was an exposed root, your foot caught it and it felt like you flew forward. With your hands out to brace your fall you still hit the ground hard, scraping your knees as well.

“Get up,” you grunted to yourself, “get…” in your mind you could hear the voice of your father, looking down at you in this situation, he’d smack you up the head and keep walking without you, calling out the rudest things to get you to sit up. A wave of exshation slowly rolled over you, you didn’t notice your eyes were closed.

Dirty fingers gripped the earth in attempts to stand but there was nothing you could do to move, you were simply too tired. All you could do was shift so you were sitting against a tree, content with dying there. The sun was beginning to set, you could see a few stars out already. Probably the same stars Bucky would be looking at.

Tears began to fall, “I’m so sorry,” you whispered, “I’m so sorry, James, really I am…” your mind created a nightmare, visions of him finding you dead in the forest, how he would fall to his knees in agony, screaming enough to cause an earthquake, “please…” you sobbed, “forgive me,” your eyes looked at the dim stars that would be bright in an hour; you didn’t have an hour. “B-Bucky,” his name tumbled from your lips, you could almost see him, the blurry figure, his hair, his eyes, his smile, “James,” you whispered.

“Hello my love,” his voice sounded different, “I’m right here.”

“I’m hallucinating, aren’t I?” as tears clouded your visions and the trees around you the picture of Bucky was crystal clear, “forgive me, please,” you cried.

“Always,” he moved closer, you could feel him touching your hand, “close you eyes, all is forgiven, my love.”

“I wanted-” you cut yourself off with a cough, seeing the blood speckle on your hand, “I was going to marry you someday, run away with you, and live the life my mother wanted for me,” a sad smile appeared on your face and he copied, “I never liked the idea of marriage, until I met you, you made me love to feeling of being loved, you made me so happy,” your hand reached out but you could not feel him, the ghost of him looked at your hand and placed his around it, if he did or didn’t you wouldn’t be able to tell with closed eyes.

“We’ll marry tomorrow, alright?” het ilted his head with a smile, “my bride need hers beauty sleep, close your eyes and, I’ll go find a wedding band for you.”

“Perfect,” your eyes had fallen closed, the feeling of sleep washing over you, “I’ll wear my mother’s dress.”

The last words you heard before being consumed by darkness was right against your ear, “and you’ll look beautiful in it, Lady Y/N.”

NEXT EPISODE

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urdepressedslut · 10 months

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Tears of an Angel ❝part two❞

♡ Pairing: The Winter Soldier/Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

♡ Summary: Unbeknownst to you, lots of time has passed and Bucky still hasn’t come back. You begin to wonder if he was ever real in the first place. There’s someone new. The Soldat— who is he?

♡ Warnings: HEAVY ANGST, some fluff, hydra, bucky’s trauma, torture, needles, abuse, hints to sexual assault

part one ✧ main masterlist

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT | 18+

You wondered how many times you could count the amount of stones on the walls before a guard approached your cell again— dragging you into the horrific room. The room that only held vile memories— ones that had you shuddering.

Ever since you had been left alone again— ever since Bucky was gone— you had lost track of time completely. Everyday blurring into one another, there wasn’t a pause in time. Every morning leaked into the night without recognition. It was disorienting and made you feel out of touch.

You rarely talked— the only sound of your screams ever escaping your lips. You would go so many days without uttering a sound— the slightest talking ached your throat. Your voice hoarse at the end of the day, with only six words leaving your lips.

You could hear the manic laughter as the guards teased you about being mute. Cackling sinisterly at the idea that they had broken you. In a way they had.

You weren’t sure why you were still here, and what your purpose was. You were sure you had an idea one time in your life— but with how things are now. You remember nothing, know nothing— are nothing. Well, you remember nothing but him.

Even after all this time, you still pathetically clung to Bucky. Hoping in your sick and demented mind that he’d come back for you one day— that he’d remember you just as you had him. But as the days melted into the other, you weren’t sure if that would ever be the case. But what harm would it bring you to hold onto the tiny hope.

The door unlocking to your cell had you jumping in surprise, having been lost in your head it spooked you. But otherwise, you sat still— even if the pain didn’t even start, you wished for it to end already.

You heard the door open completely and the sound of two footsteps enter.

“Soldat— take her to Room C.” One of the guards instructed, and you wanted to furrow your brows at the name.

Soldat?

“да сэр (yes sir).” A thick russian accent answered, and you risked a glance up.

You were disappointed to meet a half covered face, forehead curtained by thick brunette locks. It was definitely a man considering how deep the voice was. His lower half was muzzled— like a dog. But the look was certainly intimidating.

The Soldat grabbed your arm harshly, yanking you up— not giving you a second to steady yourself. You whined, the bruise on your collarbone shifting from the movement.

Ignoring your sounds, he dragged you out of your cell and down the hall towards the room of nightmares. You weren’t sure how much more pain you could take— you wish the darkness would just consume you already.

The guard had disappeared by now, leaving you and the Soldat alone. You weren’t sure if you should celebrate or not. The guards were harsh— mean. The Soldat so far has been aggressive— but you guessed that was nothing new.

“Please— don’t!” You whimpered when you could see the door to the room ahead.

You felt eyes on you, and you glanced to the side— your glossy eyes meeting with his dull ones. His stare gave you goosebumps, the fury hidden behind his eyes. Towards you? You weren’t sure— if so, why?

He didn’t respond, snapping his focus back ahead of him. Pulling you more aggressively towards the doorway. You could smell the room from here— even many steps away. You felt sick to your stomach, knowing what was to come.

“I’ll do anything, please! Don’t take me in there!” You cried quietly, as you tried to pull away from him— your feet attempting to plant you in your spot.

The Soldat whipped his muzzled face to you, his eyes wide with anger and something else. He wastes no time in trying to come up with a response— instead scooping you into his arms.

You gasped at the sudden movement, and didn’t try to wiggle out of his hold— as he was much stronger than you. You crying and walking to the room was already draining you of all your energy. With your weeks spent sitting in your cell— the walk from your cell to your room was tiring.

You continued to cry quietly, and noticed how close you were to him. He smelled of sweat and gunpowder— but also a familiar musk. A particular gust of the scent wafted into your face. It had you stopping your cries, looking up at him. At the same time he glanced down.

You blamed it on your delirious state— but you swore you saw his eyes.

Bucky.

Your mind wandered to the memories of his face through the gap. The way he held onto your hand— the feeling of comfort in this hell. The way you believed he was going to save you. Fuck— he couldn’t even save himself. You hated him, but you missed him more.

All too soon, the flashes of memories faded away into the abyss that was your mind. Coming back to reality, you felt the Soldat lower you onto the steel table. You immediately panicked, thrashing your limbs about.

“No! Please please!” You begged, grabbing his wrist in a tight grip. “Don’t leave me here!”

You weren’t sure why you begged this man for help when he was the one who brought you here. Meanwhile, the Soldat was confused. Your begging was sparking something inside of him. Something foreign yet familiar— it made him uncomfortable.

You watched as the Soldat grabbed your wrist— to the hand that held onto him tightly. He squeezed painfully, prying your hand off him. With a cry you had released him— your wrist throbbing from his hold.

He escaped your hold, turning to the right to exit the room— and that’s when you saw it. The sickly familiar flash of silver— his metal arm.

It’s Bucky… it has to be. Bucky.

Your cries went silent, your body going into shock that Bucky was so close. He was standing in front of you, in the flesh. He had held you— touched you. You were right when you had seen his eyes— you knew it was his eyes. The familiar smell. The familiarity that was his whole aura. He was here… so why was he treating you like a prisoner?

“Bucky?” You tried, desperate for his comfort as you had back in your cell.

He didn’t budge, simply continuing to walk out of the room. Leaving you alone in the torturous space. Your heart broke at him ignoring you— if he had heard you.

You wanted to call out again, but was interrupted by the door slamming shut. It was Bucky— he was here. You just needed to know what happened to him. Why he was acting like he didn’t know you.

You were left in shock, unaware of the scrawny doctors entering the room. You were stuck in a state of confusion— but also knowing just what was going on.

You didn’t want to believe it, he wouldn’t. Hydra wouldn’t. Yeah right.

A prick into your arm had you jumping, whipping your wide eyes to the doctors.

“Sleep now— you’ll wake soon.” The nasal voice whispered to you.

You weren’t sure if the fact that you’d be unconscious during your torture would be worse— not knowing what body part they’d be prodding. A part of you knew this was a true gift— not being able to feel and experience the pain. You’d be violated, yes. But you’d escape the agony— and that’s all you cared about.

The room spun for a little bit, until everything faded into darkness. You could only hope that it was the permanent darkness you’d been praying for— but you were never that lucky.

The sounds of metal clinking together had you jolting in your sleep hazed mind, the fog heavy in your brain. Your limbs felt heavy, like someone had tied weights onto your arms and legs. Your body was sore, even the slightest movement uncomfortable.

The metal clinking had you jumping again, and it was the sound of shoes shuffling against the floor that made you realize that you weren’t alone. Forcing your eyelids to lift, you could only see a blurry silhouette of someone standing over you.

You groaned in pain, as your body shook violently in agony.

What had they done to you?

The thought of not knowing had your skin crawling, the same feeling of wanting to rip your flesh off— coming back full force.

The longer you kept your eyes open, the blurriness started to clear, and soon you were staring into the eyes of him. Bucky.

But was it really him? You had assumed it was a him because of the metal arm— as no one else had one in this facility. Or so you knew of. But you still had that sliver of unknowing with him wearing the mask

His gaze was intense, his eyes full of a certain fury— but it wasn't towards you. His eyebrows were almost stuck in a furrowed manner, like he was always disturbed. He didn't shy away from your stare, if anything he held your gaze in a pleading manner— almost like he wanted you to see something hidden behind the striking blue.

"Bu—" You attempted but broke out into a cough, caused by the dryness in your throat, " Bucky... it's you."

His blues darted down to your mouth, watching the words slip past your lips. His eyes burned with confusion, like the simple spoken words were so confusing.

To you, it wasn't confusing. To him— he couldn't quite understand this nagging feeling that threatened to split his brain apart.

Who was Bucky? He thought.

It was a mixture of fear of the unknown feeling, but with that came an odd wave of comfort. He didn't understand why a prisoner like you would bring him anything of comfort.

You watched the war enrage in his mind, and you could almost hear the internal battle happening. His eyes flashed with pain, his eyes darting from your eyes to your lips frantically.

"Bucky, please stop acting like you don't remember me— I'm scared! Please!" You begged, forgetting your condition. You'd be nothing but dead weight with your limp body, as you were unable to sit up by yourself.

His eyes grew practically red with anger, and turned away towards the cell door. His metal arm whirred by his side, his flesh hand twitching in frustration. You felt the fear fill your body as he turned away, his body facing the door— you didn't want him to leave you.

"Don't leave... please." You whispered, your voice breaking at the end.

He slowly turned his body to face you, the desperation in your voice sparking something yet again within him. He hated it but clung to it at the same time. Without controlling himself, he had kneeled in front of you. Without uttering a word— he stared. Taking in every detail etched into your face. Your skin, the lines, the indents— everything that he was sure he'd forget by the next mission.

He found himself memorizing your features, and he wasn't sure why. He was shocked to find your features familiar— the nagging feeling coming full force. Knocking the air from his lungs as he struggled to breathe through the muzzle.

"Thank you." You whispered, your eyelids feeling heavy again and you were afraid to shut them— worried he'd be gone the next time you open them.

He didn't say anything back as he just stared at you with a longing gaze— his breathing heavy and fanning through the muzzle.

You wanted to ask him why he was here with you in your cell, seeing as there was no point. But instead, you found yourself lifting your frail hand— hovering your fingertips above the mask.

He instinctively flinched away, his head jolting back from your reach. You paused your hand in mid air— staring at him with glossy eyes. Watching him cower away from your touch, the way his eyes held fear. The blue in his eyes stormy— haunted.

"It's okay. I'm not gonna hurt you— don't think I could if I tried." You tried to joke through the tightness in your throat.

His eyes widened slightly at your words, and you quickly clarified.

"But I won't hurt you— I won't even try." You promised to him, holding his eyes with such genuineness it had shocked him.

He sucked in a quiet breath, easing his head back to your hand. You kept your hand still, waiting patiently as he leaned into your fingertips— deepening his push until your entire hand palmed his muzzled face.

As he waited for the pain to come from your touch— he found the pain had never come. He was leaned against you and he felt comforted. Your touch was soft, and even through the muzzle he could feel the warmth coming from your clammy hand.

"See... I'm not hurting you." You whispered weakly, your body curling inwards— throbbing with a wave of pain.

The brunette's eyes widened in panic, darting all over your body— frantically searching your being for the cause of your pain.

You recovered quickly, the pain passing as fast as it had arrived. Now it had left you weak and sluggish— the tensing of your muscles tiring your already frail body. You met his worried eyes again, the sight refreshing— to know he had a soul after all. His empty behavior was worrying you for the longest time— unsure if he was even your Bucky still.

"M'fine... just tired." You mumbled, unsure if he could even understand you— but you were too tired to care.

Your eyes shut only for a few seconds, and thats when you heard the sound of buckles unfastening. The sound had you cracking your eyes back open, a gasp of surprise escaping your lips at the sight of his fully exposed face. He had taken off the muzzle.

It was your Bucky.

Your dry and cracked lips broke into a smile, one that would never reach your eyes. Despite the hollow look he sported, and the way he didn't even look like himself in little glimpses— you were happy to see him. Enjoying the quiet moment— the peace that came with his company. It all came flooding back into this cell as it did in the last one. The gap in the wall that had you two connecting— clinging to each other.

A sharp inhale had you snapping from your daydream, your eyes focusing back on his face. His blues were shining with unshed tears— almost like he was unable to let them fall. He crawled closer to your crumpled form on the bench in the cell— his hands resting near your body, but just enough where his knuckles could brush against you.

His lip quivered in frustration, needing to say so much— but knowing he didn't have enough time.

"It's okay... I've got you." You mirrored from the very first time he had comforted you through the gap.

His breathing slowed and he looked like he had instantly relaxed— letting his guard just slightly. But with that, came the flood of tears that ached to be freed. The emotions he had muted, painfully burning from him. It was too much and not enough at the same time.

He sobbed, leaning his forehead down to your arm. Bowing before you in a way— hiding his face away by smushing into you.

You just sat still, keeping your arms by your side— unsure if your affection would be welcomed. His cries broke your heart— his whimpers making your stomach knot up. You were broken beyond repair, but if you could you'd take away all his pain.

Both of you were stuck— trapped in what felt like an enteral hell. There was no end to the tortuous tunnel and you both knew that.

At least with each other— you wouldn't suffer alone.

A/N: sorry if there is spelling errors, i did a quick proof read once but it was awhile ago🤍

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ramen-flavored · 1 year

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Ladies and Gentlemen,

Him

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ravenromanova · 6 months

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I fucking hate you

Parings: Bucky x Female avenger reader

Warnings: Enemies to lovers, Mean Bucky (only for a little). SMUTTTTT DO NOT READ IF YOURE UNDER 18+! Daddy kink, Metal arm kink, Praise kink, Hate fucking, Breeding kink, Unprotected sex, Oral (m and f), Fingering. DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE UNDERAGE

Summary: When you and Bucky are forced to have a therapy session after a mission gone wrong you two find another way to let the anger out.

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The sound of the clock ticking mixed with a pen tapping against a notebook drives you insane as you stare at the wall. It’s been thirty minutes of silence with neither you or Bucky daring to speak first. In your eyes this session was pointless. He was the one who fucked up the mission and yet youre paying for it by having a therapy session with him.

The mission was a simple intel mission… or it should’ve been until Bucky went off the rails and got the both of you captured. Luckily you were able to get yourselves freed before anything bad happened. But nevertheless you were told by Fury and Maria that you two needed to fix the issues between you. Honestly you didn’t hate Bucky as much as you led on but he could be such an insufferable asshole sometimes.

He would constantly pick on you like a small child, belittle your powers and abilities, and not to mention he would constantly ditch you during missions. So since he wanted to be an asshole you decided that being a petty bitch would get him to stop… You were very wrong and that just seemed to make it worse for you.

All in all you were completely infatuated with the super soldier but it was clear he had no interest in you. So you kept up the petty bitch act and that just meant the two of you were constantly at war with one another.

“This is a waste of time, It wasnt even my fault the mission got fucked up so im not even sure why im here.” You state crossing your arms looking at Dr.Raynor.

“The reason youre here y/n is so you and James can work through whatever it is going on in hopes that you two start getting along” The older woman says with a slight shake to her head.

“I wouldn’t have a problem with him if he wasnt such a dick” Your words made Bucky whip his head to look at you with a scowl on his face.

“Oh im the asshole? What about you huh? You’re a fucking pest and not to mention the weakest one on the team” He scoffed looking back at raynor.

“THE WEAKEST ONE? The only thing special about you came from a fucking test tube” You retort feeling yourself about to explode from rage.

“Oh so that’s how we are gonna play this?” He asked cocking his head to the side with a smug smile.

“You act like youre tough shit when in all reality take off the arm and take away the serum then what are you? A amputee with a military background.. You aren’t that special” Your words hit a part of him he didn’t know existed anymore.

“Okay enough you two!” Dr.Raynor said before Bucky had the chance to respond. “This is ridiculous! Throwing insults back and forth wont help whatever is going on between you two” She continued and you and Bucky huffed.

“It definitely makes me feel better knowing miss priss over here gets knocked down a few pegs” He mumbles under his breath.

“Okay that’s it! I’m fucking done. I cant do this shit anymore. You wanna hate me? fine. Guess what? I fucking hate you too” You said standing up abruptly and slamming the door as you exit the room.

Bucky and Dr.Raynor both looked at each other and sighed. “Why cant you just be honest with her?” She asked him making him roll his eyes.

“I dont know what youre talking about” He shakes his head making the older woman groan.

“Dont play dumb James. We both know how you feel about y/n you are just to chicken shit to tell her” She retorts raising her eyebrows at the solider.

“You’re a terrible therapist” He retorts shaking his head at her comment. Yes Bucky was madly in love with you but he didn’t think you’d feel the same after his past and how he’s treated you.

Ever since Bucky had come back from being blipped he found it difficult to readjust to life yet again. So he did what he always did he threw himself into his work. Avenging became the only thing he did day in and day out. He had met you during a meeting when you were introduced as the newest Avenger. You were all bright and bubbly towards everyone even him.

Naturally he avoided you not wanting to taint the sunshine that shined from within. But despite him being a dick to you, you still smiled at him during training, said good morning whenever you saw him in the mornings. You were just always sweet to him for some reason even though he had never shown you kindness. Well that was until six months ago when one day you were just as bitchy to him as he was you.

For some reason that hurt Bucky more than he thought possible. He didn’t think he would miss your sunshiny attitude until it was gone. The two of you started fighting amend arguing over everything for the past six months. The entire team was annoyed by the sudden escalation in you and Bucky’s relationship. Normally he would just be cold to you and that was it. But now you’ve started fighting back which was a surprise to everyone since you were normally so quiet. Bucky missed the ray of sunshine you used to be but he also didn’t want to taint you with his presence.

But nevertheless Bucky kept up his whole thing of messing with you and you started being bitchy right back, which was why the two of you were forced into therapy together.

“Go tell her how you feel James, That’s youre homework for the week” Dr.Raynor said breaking Bucky out of his thoughts.

“And if i dont?” He pushed tilting his head. The woman looked at him then sighed.

“If you dont ill make sure you and Peter are assigned on the same missions for six months” She threatened and Bucky’s eyes widened at the thought of being stuck with parker on missions.

“Okay okay no need to do all that” He said standing up and putting his hands up in defeat. The older woman laughed to herself as she watched Bucky walk out her office.

Bucky had left the office to go and find you but had no luck. He had looked for you in all of your normal spots kitchen, living room, game room, your room but you weren’t there. It wasnt until he decided to check the training room that he had found you. You were at the punching bags hitting them as hard as you could to get out your anger.

“Y/n?” He said softly as he approached you carefully not wanting to startle you. You had turned around to face him with your chest heaving and your face sweaty.

“What Bucky?” Your voice dripped with venom as you spoke. Bucky had ran his hand through his hair sighing a little.

“Look i just wanted to say im sorry” He said and you looked for any hints of sarcasm or anything in his eyes but found none.

“I’m sorry im gonna need you to repeat that” You brought a hand to your ear acting like you didn’t hear him.

“I’m sorry for being an asshole. I never meant to hurt youre feelings doll” Bucky repeated but this time adding in a nickname that made your heart race.

“i-its okay” You stutter out not really fathoming the fact that Bucky is apologizing or that fact that he used a nickname to address you instead of an insult.

“No its not- i-i just dont know how to handle my emotions properly and i took it out on you when i shouldn’t have” His hands didn’t their way to your hips as he speaks. Your eyes go to his wands on your waist and then back up to him.

“It’s okay Bucky i get it” You say as your hands find their way to his shoulders. Bucky’s flesh hand moved to cup your face as he looked into your eyes making you melt. He slowly rubs his thumb against your cheek making you smile and lean into his touch.

“Why are you being so nice all of a sudden?” The question comes out shaky when you speak.

“Because it wasnt until you said that you hated me that i realized i fucked up and treated the one person who has never looked at me like a monster like shit. And i couldn’t stand the thought of you hating me.” He said honestly and for the first time you could see genuine emotion in his eyes.

“And whys that?” You ask stepping a little closer to him with a small smile.

“Because im in love with you” Bucky admits bringing you into a passionate kiss. You wrap your arms around his neck and deepen the kiss earning a small groan from him. The two of you get so wrapped up in each other you forget to come up for air.

“I-I love you too” You admit after you catch your breath making him smile. Bucky then picks you up and you wrap your legs around his waist. He then carries you out of the training room and takes you to his.

When he brings you back to his room he lays you down on the bed before getting on top of you. He slots himself between your legs as he brings you in for another heated kiss. You moan into the kiss as you feel his hands roam all over your body. Bucky’s hands find the hem of your shorts and pull them down your thighs not breaking the kiss.

“Please” You whisper against his lips feeling his metal hand graze your dripping core. He sits on his knees and takes off you shirt then bra before sucking on your nipple. You throw your head back in pleasure letting out a moan.

“Oh fuck” Bucky takes his metal hand and finds his way in your panties and starts playing with your clit. “Yes daddy” You whimper breathlessly feeling the cool metal come into contact with your heat.

“Oh you like that kotenok?’ He asks after he releases your nipple with a pop. You nod your head and whisper a ‘Yes’ and start bucking your hips against his hand.

“Please please fuck me” You beg moving your hand down to his clothed crotch.

“So needy” He mocks unbuckling his belt and drops his pants on the floor before taking off his boxers and shirt. Once he’s fully naked in front of you, you cant help but stare at his reddened cock standing at attention for you.

You sit up so you come face to face with the red tip and wrap your hand around the base of his cock. His eyes go wide and his breath catches in his throat when you lick the pre cum off his slit.

“So good” You whisper before you hollow out your cheeks and take him into your mouth. His hands instantly find their way into your hair trying to resist fucking your throat. You tap his thigh letting him know he can use you as he pleases.

Bucky then grips onto your hair tighter and starts to thrust into your throat. “Fuck kotenok” He whines feeling your tongue graze the vein of his cock. You open your throat as much as you can so you can fully take him and sink down to the base of his cock.

“Fuck- i-im gonna cum if you keep doing that” He grunts feeling your throat open and close around him. His thrusts gets sloppy as he feels himself about to finish. He abruptly stops thrusting and pulls himself out of your throat making you whine.

“As much as id love to make you swallow id much rather breed that pretty pussy” Bucky says wiping the drool off your chin making you nod your head. You quickly get on all fours in front of him and wiggle your ass making him smack it.

“Yes daddy” You moan in delight feeling his metal hand come into contact with your soft skin. Bucky smirks and smacks the other cheek making you moan happily.

“You like that baby?” He coos rubbing the red marks he’s left making you shiver.

“Mhm” You nod backing your ass up against his cock. He takes the sign and slowly eases himself into you before bottoming out.

“So tight” He groans pulling out then thrusting back in. You scream in delight feeling his thick cock stretch you out. You weren’t a virgin in the slightest but Bucky had definitely been the biggest you’d ever taken.

“S-So big daddy” The words come out broken as you feel his tip kiss your g-spot.

“You can take it baby. Take daddy’s cock be a good girl and take it so i can fill you up. Would you like that? Do you want me to breed you and make you a mommy?” He asks wrapping his metal arm around your neck bringing you up to get a new angle.

“OH FUCK YES” You scream at the new angle feeling him in a new way. The thought of Bucky breeding you makes your eyes roll back and your brain go fuzzy. “Please-please fill me up daddy” You bed as his thrusts get harder.

“Oh i will kotenok dont worry” He says squeezing his hand a little around your neck. You never thought in a million years you’d have all your fantasies come true but fuck were you loving it.

“G-Gonna cum daddy… can i cum?” The question is choked out making Bucky smile.

“Yes baby cum for me im right behind you” He said and that’s when the coil in your stomach snapped and you came all over him. Feeling your warm walls clench down on him sent him over the edge, and he wrapped his flesh at around your stomach holding you close as he came. Bucky’s thrusts slowed down as he fucked his cum into you ensuring none would leak out.

“Fuck baby” He groaned in your ear giving you kisses up and down your neck and collarbone. “You did so good kotenok” Bucky praised slowly pulling out but still holding you close. Once he pulled out he laid you against the pillows and settled in between your legs again.

“T-Thank you daddy” You said in a fucked out haze trying to catch your breath. Bucky kisses from your chest down to your thighs and then settles his face in front of your pussy. He spreads your wet folds with his flesh hand before leaving a kiss on your clit.

‘Too sensitive daddy-cant-please-“ You protest trying to close your thighs but failing as he holds them apart.

“Just wanna taste you baby” He whispers giving your thigh a kiss. Not trusting your voice you opt your nodding and letting him do what he wants.

He slowly licks a stipe from your hole to clit making you whimper and cry out. Bucky groans at the way you taste and starts eating you like a man starved. His lips wrap around you clit and starts sucking lightly making you claw at his back.

“Yes yes yes” You chant feeling another orgasm about to rip through you. He picks up the pace and starts sloppily eating your pussy making you feel like never before.

“Gonna cum!” You scream arching your back off his bed and gripping the sheets as you finish on his tongue. Bucky groans in satisfaction and licks you clean before bringing you into a messy kiss.

“So fucking good” He praised after he broke the kiss. You smiled at him and feel back against the pillows in a haze. You felt the bed dip and you saw Bucky walk into the bathroom and grab a wet cloth. He came back to the bed and cleaned you up while telling you how good you did.

“You’re so perfect” He whispered in your ear laying down next to you. You crawled over to him and laid your head on his chest looking up at his pretty blue eyes.

“Not too bad yourself” Bucky laughed at your comment bringing you in for a loving kiss. “I could get used to that” You said with a cheeky grin on your face making him roll his eyes in faux annoyance.

“You better because now youre stuck with me” He said giving you a wink. The thought if being ‘stuck’ with him gave you butterflies and make you melt even more into hin.

“I think id be okay with that” You said pretending to think about it making Bucky laugh. He ran his hand through your hair and admired your beauty. In all of his 106 years on this earth he never thought he felt this way about someone. That was until you.. And he’ll be damned if he ever lets you get away again.

~The end~

I do not give permission for my work to be copied or translated on other cites

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bluehourbucky · 11 months

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Oooooo yes. Oki it's a bucky/reader

Reader was an asset at the same time as bucky and her orders were to keep him safe at all costs, so even if it ends with her taking a bullet. So they've had an intense relationship and hydra being hydra uses it against both of them.

Fast forward to the snap, she doesn't get dusted and manages to escape hydra. She meets nat who helps with her trigger words. They don't fix her since shuri is gone but ends up tweaking it so she's really only listening to her handler- nat or bucky as that's a default lol.

Come to the blip and her and bucky reunite and he has some lingering winter solider tendencies when it comes to her and being protective af. So Sam being sam notices it and gives bucky shit. He snaps and essentially says that she reminds him of hydra and can't stand her.

So typical angst troupe. She avoids him until they get put on a mission and she gets triggered. So bucky ends up taking care of her. Can be smutty lol. Like any part of this can be used. Doesn't have to be the whole thing lol

a/n: Hope you don't mind I simplified it cus I think I'd need more than one part to write all of this properly!!!

Hope you enjoy reading this I put all of the angst into it 😅😅

Sorry this is so long 😅😅😅

MY FIRST REQUEST EVER!!!!

To forgive

pairing: bucky x exhydrasoldier!reader

summary: tension between you and Bucky is unbearable and when a misson goes wrong apologies are in order

warnings: f word couple of times / angst a lot of it

masterlist

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Sam actually doesn't know how he managed to get stuck with not one but two super soldiers who have a staring problem but this is his reality right now.

Recently you and Bucky have been staying with Sam since you two could not live with each other alone anymore.

Bucky became your roommate after everyone came back after the snap.

At that point you were 5 years free of Hydra and mostly recovered, you had been found by Natasha and she had helped you a lot and so has Steve. Steve already had experience watching his friend struggle with what had Hydra done and his heart ached seeing his friend in you. The same lost and broken expression made him sad.

They did everything they could, Natasha and Steve even bought you to Wakanda but without Shuri the progress was slow but it was still progres.

Steve before leaving talked to both you and Bucky and suggested you two could help each other out since there was no one else who could understand more what you two had lived through.

It had been good in theory but in practice it was not.

Buckys' recovery was way past yours, and it frustrated you, you were angry especially because you still had this need to protect Bucky at all times.

Being Hydras punching bag was not fun, you didn't blame Bucky it wasn't easy for him either but he was so precious to them that they needed someone to protect the most important asset. It wasn't like you were the only one, you just survived the longest. There had been many before you, who had been removed or just killed in a mission to protect The Winter Soldier.

To Bucky, you were just a reminder of the torture he had survived. Some nights neither of you slept because the same nightmares haunted you, and yet you didn't talk to each other.

You both remember very little about each other from your time in Hydra, the pain is the only thing you both remember so clearly.

It had become impossible to stay together the night when Bucky had a nightmare and you had tried to help, it was awful. That night when Bucky woke up he had thought he was back at Hydra because he saw you. He yelled and screamed and even attacked you, telling you to let him go, and you didn't even defend yourself immediately going back to your training with Hydra.

"Protect the asset no matter what. your life is not important, the winter soldier must be saved. Do not hurt the asset or you will be punished."

That night had changed everything. The weak friendship that you've had with Bucky vanished and all you ever did was fight.

"The dishes aren't washed princess."

"Can the Winter Soldier throw out the trash sometimes?

"Does princess need to be reminded to not use all the hot water."

Oh but the missions are the worst for everyone.

Sam started to bring a spray with him whenever you and Bucky even try to speak to each other because sometimes it is so unbearable that it could ruin the mission.

Sometimes against your wish you jump in to protect Bucky, the Hydra training instincts rooted deep inside you.

"You don't have to protect me!"

"I don't have a choice here asshole! If it were up to me I wouldn't care less if something happened to you!"

But when Bucky had jumped from an airplane without a parachute your heart had dropped. And it was not because your instincts had kicked in, you had watched the man you've been protecting many decades jump from an airplane that was like 30000ft in the air!

You put a parachute on you and brought one with you and jumped after him.

"Dumbass you forgot something!" you had yelled over the wind catching up to Bucky.

He'd ignored the parachute you tried to give him and left you to just watch him descend.

You have no idea how he survived but you were pissed off and were ready to kill him yourself.

"ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE? WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU JUMP WITHOUT A PARACHUTE!"

"WHY DO YOU CARE IT'S MY PROBLEM IF I JUMP OR NOT!"

"NOT IF YOU ASK ME! I LOST MY LIFE TO PROTECTING YOU AND YOU DO THAT! YOU'RE SO SELFISH!"

You had pushed him hard enough so he stumbled a bit but that's only because he didn't expect it. Bucky had also received a slap to the face which Sam might have enjoyed way too much. It had caused an actual fight between two of you and it took Sam 30 minutes to separate you. By the time you had to fight people you had come to fight in the first place you and Bucky already had battle wounds.

Tonight you're in Madripoor and the plan was that Bucky pretends to be The Winter Soldier, it made you nervous.

Sharon had give you a dress and some flat boots in case you needed to run, Bucky and Sam had received some very nice suits.

When you saw Bucky in a suit your heart flipped at the sight of him. You've never seen him in a suit before and you weren't sure how to feel about it. He looked handsome, it's not the first time you had that thought but usually there was annoyance clouding any other thoughts about Bucky.

When Bucky looked at you as you exited the room you were changing in his brain and heart malfunctioned. He'd never seen you in a dress before, you preferred clothes that covered your body completely - the scars on your body made you feel very insecure - Bucky was the same the more his body is cover the less attention he has on himself.

But God, have you taken his breath away. It isn't like he thinks you're ugly, you're gorgeous, and if you had known each other back when he was himself and before you had been brainwashed to protect him he would've loved to have taken you to a dance. Unfortunately your situation was too complicated and it had made it impossible for you two to have any kind of relationship not only romantic.

Bucky and you have a very awkward moment where you made eye contact and then quickly looked away. The tension in the room grew to a 100 real fast.

"So ugh about the plan." Sam coughs to fix the awkward vibe that has enveloped the room.

While Sam is explaining the plan you and Bucky glance at each other when the other isn't looking and Sam pretends not to notice.

The club is crowded and the atmosphere changes when people start to notice The Winter Soldier.

You're on edge the entire time.

Suddenly a fight begins but all you hear are the trigger words which do not affect Bucky but you're entirely a different story.

As Bucky was about to get punched you had jumped in front of him stopping the hit with your hands. You break the the guys hand and turn around to hit another big guy.

"Get out of here I will take care of this."

"No you won't."

And when you don't Bucky pulls you by your hand and you have no choice but to run with him.

When you finally arrive at a safe destination away from everyone who's trying to kill you Bucky turns to you.

"ARE YOU SERIOUS? WHAT HAPPENED IN THERE YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO WAIT! ARE YOU SO STUPID YOU CAN'T FOLLOW SIMPLE INTRUCTIONS?"

You only stare back at him not even blinking.

"Bucky stop she's not okay can't you see?" Sam puts a hand on Buckys shoulder backing him away from you.

"She fucked up she wasn't supposed to engage."

"Bucky look at her."

That's when Bucky notices that you're not looking at him you're looking at the floor, your hands behind you as if waiting for punishment.

And suddenly it clicks, your trigger words. Some of them were the same as his.

"I'm so sorry. I- I didn't notice I'm so sorry."

You stay in your place not moving an inch.

Bucky tries to touch you and at first you flinch, he doesn't know what to do - he hugs you, surpsing himself.

He stands there his arms tightly around you.

When you finally come back you start sobbing and Buckys heart breaks. He was supposed to know better.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I should've known I should've said it was a bad idea I'm sorry."

You're shaking in his arms and his heart breaks a little more with every whine.

It takes you 45 minutes to stop crying and that's only because you've exhausted yourself with crying.

Bucky carries you to a dodgy motel that him and Sam found. Your limp body in his arms makes him feel incredibly guilty. He feels awful, he'd been awful to you for months and you're right he's been selfish. Bucky can only hope you can forgive him.

You wake up with a headache the light coming through the window indicates that it's for sure not early morning. The sun is gentle and you can tell that sun is about to be gone. To the right of you there's a night stand and to the left is Bucky sleeping on a chair, sitting up.

You notice that you're in Buckys shirt and your pyjama pants.

"Hey."

You turn at Buckys voice.

"Hi."

"I'm sorry about last night I was out of line. I've been out of line for a while. And I'm really sorry I've put you in danger-"

"Bucky..."

"No I need to say this, please."

you nodd.

"There's so much I regret but I regret putting you in danger and giving you shit the most. I've done nothing to make your life easier I've only made it worse. And you were right I was selfish. I was in my head too much and you're the only person who completely understands what I've been through. Last night shouldn't have happened but I was stupid. I hope you can forgive me and I'll do everything in power for the rest of my life to make it up to you."

"Bucky... I-... What happened to us is not fair and we both did stuff we regret, I also wasn't fair to you. I'm not okay. I haven't been a while and last night wasn't your fault. I'm sorry too. I'm sorry for calling you The Winter Soldier and for hurting you purposely. And you have nothing to make up for nothing that happend is your fault."

Bucky and you stand in silence for a while each trying to process words and the situation you're in right now.

"Fucking Hydra."

Bucky breaks the ice with that statement and you both laugh.

"Bucky, could I ask you for a favour?"

"Anything."

"I haven't been well for a while and last night only showed how much I need help. I'd like to go to Wakanda so they get me in cryo to fix my brain. Please be there for me when they put me under and when they wake me up."

"I promise."

True to his word Bucky is there when they're preparing you for cryo.

"It's going to be okay. These people are the best they know what they're doing. Besides they had their experiment animal way before you!"

"Oh shut up..... Thank you Bucky. I'll see you when I wake up?"

He smiles and gives you a tender hug full of emotions but mostly love.

"I promise."

The last thing you see are Buckys blue eyes looking at you softly he doesn't let himself cry.

The next time you see Bucky is when your new life begins.

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[THE END]

This is gigantic udhdhdudud I'm not sure If I should've written so much but it was fun?

Likes reblogs and Comments are appreciated <3

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky imagine #bucky masterlist #bucky angst #sebastian stan characters #marvel fic #the winter solider x reader #first request

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