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the-present-is-a-gift-au · 1 month

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Chapter 35: In Which Twig Falls Apart

Of course she crossed paths with Darkrai while out on her walk. He wasn't just some hazy presence in the shadows of the forest, either— he was visible as any tree or fern on the trail, hands clasped and subtly wringing ever so slightly as he stood off to the side of the path. He perked up when he saw her, and she immediately turned on her heel and made for home.

“Twig, if I may have a word—” he began.

“Nope. Not in the mood to deal with you right now, sorry man.”

“You’ve been worrying me. I am not fool enough to turn a blind eye to how you carry yourself or how you behave when faced with danger. Will you not answer me and say if you are well? Truly?”

Twig stopped dead in her tracks as she registered just what he'd said. “Did you tell Kip to worry about me wanting to off myself?”

Silence.

“Great. Great! Wonderful. I can't face him knowing that. Awesome.” She gritted her teeth and took in a long, slow breath. “Why'd you even care? Isn't that kind of the whole point, at least with your plan to rule a world of darkness or whatever? You wouldn't have to lift a finger if I did the deed myself, right—”

“My plans have changed significantly,” he said abruptly, cutting her off. “I find little appeal in ruling much of anything nowadays. The thought of you doing yourself harm is— it's— I take no pleasure in it. It's sickening to think of.”

That gave her pause. Maybe what Celebi said was true, then, if Darkrai wasn't plotting to take over the world again. She changed his mind. But no sooner had those four words entered her thoughts than a bitter sneer found its way onto her face. “I'm pretty sure it's not sickening to think about the world being a better place without me, but okay,” she grumbled.

Darkrai's gaze snapped to her. “Why do you find that so hard to believe?”

She quirked a brow, looking him up and down.

“I'm aware that I— I meant with your kinsfolk. I've witnessed your refusal to believe they carry affection for you like they would any other. You've convinced yourself that they're better off without you— I know it too well from what I've seen of your nightmares. Why?”

She squared her shoulders and shoved past him, calling over her shoulder as she turned back home on the path. “Because they are better off without me.”

“They aren't. Grovyle fears your death more than his own.”

She ignored the sting of tears in her eyes. “That's literally just Grovyle. He's like that with everybody. Even the mailman.”

“Celebi sees you as a family member worthy of any sacrifice necessary.”

“Celebi was willing to die to bring back a sunrise she wouldn't get to see. She's sacrificed it all already. It doesn't mean anything to give it up twice.”

“Dusknoir sees you as his own.”

“Dusknoir is everyone's weird wannabe-dad. I'm not special that way.”

“Kip is clearly—”

At the mention of her partner's name, Twig rounded on him. “Don't you dare say anything to me about how Kip is glad to be my friend, or he couldn't bear to live without me, or whatever garbage you're going to pull out next. I know that. I know he was shaking in his boots at every moment when we met. I know I changed that for him. But I also dragged him into my mess with— with almost getting him killed by Grovyle or Dusknoir or Dialga, and lying to him about me being erased from time because I didn't want to see him be sad about it, and dragging him around time and space with me until he wasn't able to evolve for years. Kip might need me, but he doesn't deserve me. He doesn't deserve the world's most lousy excuse of a person as a partner. He doesn't deserve someone who didn't want him to leave on his dream expedition for a couple years because she was scared of how she'd handle living on her own. He doesn't deserve—” Her voice broke, and she struggled to find the words she hated most to say.

Darkrai watched her pityingly. Something in her ate that up— the fact she was being seen, and seen as something worthy of sympathy even in all of her wretchedness— and something else in her hated the fact that she was stirring up any sense of sadness in someone. That hatred fought hard to come out on top, but the hungry, sorrowful thing inside her lurked close to the surface.

“Kip doesn't deserve someone who's as messed up as I am dragging him down,” she finally said.

“I believe he'd beg to differ.” Darkrai’s wide-eyed, worried stare narrowed. “You seem to think very little of the people you call your closest allies, if you believe they bear no affection for you or act in ill-judgment if they do.”

Twig looked away, tears pricking at her eyes. “Shut up.”

“Do you truly hold so little faith in their words when they say they wish you well?”

“I said, shut up—”

“Why do you act as though they hate you?”

“Because they should!” Twig shouted. Darkrai flinched back at the ferocity in her words, and something about that made a shard of hurt lodged deep inside her stir with the urge to give chase. “Because I'm the worst thing that's ever happened to any of them! If it weren't for me, they'd be living happily and without a single worry, but they're not! Because of me! Because I'm stupid and selfish and can't get it through my thick skull that they're better off without me, so I hang around and hurt everyone even more than I did the last time I opened my mouth!” She threw her arms wide in a furious motion. “But apparently they're all too stupid to hate me themselves, so I'm the one who needs to hate myself enough that I stay in line and don't be such a useless burden that they realize I'm not worth keeping around!”

Silence.

Twig ground her teeth, torn between preening at the sorrowful look Darkrai was giving her or throttling him for giving her it in the first place. She returned her arms to her sides, balling her hands into fists, and turned to leave when a new voice caught her attention.

“Do you really think that?”

Twig looked up.

Oh. There was Dusknoir, Celebi, Grovyle, and Kip— all standing just a ways off from her on the path. Apparently they came to check on her together. Apparently they overheard her spitting those awful things and spilling her guts, and now Grovyle wanted to know if it was the truth.

She pursed her lips, considering her answer. “It’s true, isn’t it? I’m not… I’m not worth keeping around. I’m not…” Her face screwed up as she began to cry, unable to hold back her tears. “I’m not someone worth caring about, and it’s dumb to think that, but I can’t stop, and… I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m being annoying, I’ll stop, just give me a minute—“

Grovyle stepped forward once, twice— put out his hand and then pulled it back, unsure of how to help despite feeling pulled to it.

“How can I help?” He asked.

Twig felt something raw and bloody in her gut itself to get the words out of her mouth. “… Could I have a hug?”

He opened his arms. Twig met him halfway as he shakily stepped toward her, and she wrapped her arms around him in a numb sort of echo of what a hug should be. His hand trembled as he rubbed small circles between her shoulder blades, then tucked her head under his chin and pulled her closer.

For the first time since that awful day her past crawled out of its grave and back into her head, another memory returned to Twig. This one was new, foreign in its familiarity and how well it felt like it fit in an empty place in her chest.

(She was scared of the sableye running outside of their hiding spot in search of the trio of fugitives, unable to sleep for her terror at the thought of being discovered, and Grovyle held her like he was now. Twig had felt safe back then. Nothing scary could get her. Not while Grovyle was around. She fell asleep certain everything would be okay as long as they were together.)

Twig wept, then cried, then bawled. There were no words for her to say. What was there to be said? Right now, she had Grovyle to hold her as she wailed and sobbed like a little kid, and Kip rushing over to join the embrace. She didn't care if people were looking at her. She didn't care that Darkrai had vanished soon after everyone arrived and she didn't know where he disappeared to. Nothing mattered right now except for that raw, bloody, hurting thing inside her being washed clean by the tears she shed in her friends’ arms.

Maybe she wasn't a burden. It didn't seem like you'd hold a burden like she was being held right now. It hurt to think about for too long— that raw thing inside her still sensitive and painful— but maybe she could sometime later.

Much later.

She still had so many more tears to shed, and it didn't seem like Grovyle or Kip were letting go of her any time soon.

#pmd eos #pmd explorers #pmd fanfiction #pmd fanfic #pmd2 #the present is a gift au #pokemon mystery dungeon #pmd fic #pmd sky #pmd

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beetsandskzreads · 3 years

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silent bright summer night

bang chan x gn!reader, y/n works with skz and became their friend (the ultimate dream haha)

genre: tooth-rotening fluff, slight angst with a happy ending

notes/warnings: nothing intense, this is very fluffy, there's brief mentions of cheating, long distance, y/n's exes, fear of abandonment, slight insecurities, deep talks, reader and chan are slightly wine drunk, y/n and chan are whipped, y/n makes it explicit they want to date someone very warm and caring (aka chan), i don't think that's a warning tho djsjs just saying

scenario: on a balcony, at a beach apartment on a summer night of vacation, y/n opens up to chan about their past and current lovers. what y/n doesn't know is why chan is so interested listening to it.

It was 1:01 am when chan and I found ourselves in the balcony that overlooked the city and it's bright lights on a summer night. Skz had gone to sleep right after all of us came back from a night out of lots of fun, buying stuff on stores by the beach, having ice cream, seeing the view of the city lights reflecting on the sea water, appreciating street artists...

The two of us had been talking the whole evening, we hung out as a group but mostly just spoke to each other and laughed at the members jokes, both of us having a sparkle in our eye every time we saw the group happy. There was this unspoken pleasantness, a bliss, calmness in the air but with a lot of excitement. Chan was so happy to be around the sea with "the kids" as he refers to them and being at the beach almost 24/7 this week, it was like his natural habitat, his home, a comfort place. It left you feeling even softer for him, and as you shared your love for the sea, your feelings were at a peak. You liked Chan, and you loved this place as much as he did.

The night was so great, everyone was out like a lightweight as soon as we arrived to the vacation apartment we're in. Chan and I were testing the theory that a glass of wine would help us get drowsy and help us fall asleep as well, since we both have trouble falling asleep and felt nothing but a remaining excitement from the night out. It came to me especially because of the enthusiasm of talking to him, we were connecting so well, I didn't want this to ever end.

And so we drank (one glass quickly becoming the whole bottle) and we talked for what felt like hours on end, that neither of us wanted to cease.

- My ex best friend, she never quite knew how to choose guys, she always went for the ones that would never turn her way, the ones who obviously wouldn't care about her, not because of her, but because they were really careless guys, walking red flags. - I told him, I couldn't remember where exactly the conversation started but we were talking about nice people picking shitty people to date.

- What about you? - he asked

- Me? I barely even like guys, I mean I do, but I'm really picky actually, I don't allow myself to fall for cold people, I wouldn't forgive myself if I took interest in someone rude, I try so hard to take care of myself so I either stay alone that way or I find someone who makes me feel better, who knows how to take care of me, after all we chase happiness, I think a caring person could do that, someone gentle who isn't scared of emotions or who at least is open to face that fear with me by their side.

- I get it, it's hard to get by if you don't have emotional support, a partner should be able to provide that support, yeah. Did you ever... find someone like that?

- Yeah, in the past I did and even now I do know someone more than ideal... I guess my ex partners when I was young were going through a soft phase tho... I guess everyone has an emotional limit they were scared to cross... once I found that barrier the relationship stoped evolving, reached a dead end and so there was nothing left for me anymore and I left, plus, you know, cheating, long distance, a bunch of stuff really... it wasn't meant to be and I'm okay with that.

- What about that someone right now?

Silence ruled for about 3 seconds before I knew what to say. That someone right now is him. Ever since I've known him feels like he's the only man ever, but I don't think I'd tell him that, not soon anyways.

- What about 'em?

- What's that person like? What makes you trust they're any different from your exes?

- Sometimes I fear they're not, but I set the bar really high and I reset it constantly, to make sure I'm seeing it right, sometimes they seem so perfect to me that I wonder what good have i done in my past life to deserve to be around such a bright person. Of course they make mistakes too, but even the way they deal with them is so... mature, it's so easy to just solve things communicating, it's insane to me. Then I remember it's probably because they're eventually gonna leave me too, or just not reciprocate my feelings and after they break my heart I'll probably loose all hope in love, be heart broken for two years until I decide I'm gonna focus on myself again... it's a cycle after heartbreak, but with this person I'm really scared, because they mean more. I'm way too deep in before I've even expressed my feelings, it's gonna be devastating. - I'm rambling, the wine made me do it.

- What makes you think they wouldn't like you back tho?

- I'm not sure I just... it would be too good to be true and it's complicated... he's amazing and I'm just not sure if he'd be into me, I mean, I think I'm lovable and I think I'd be a great lover, I just don't know if I'm his type or if he'd consider me. We have a bit of an age gap, I'm not someone who's typically pretty or specially good looking, I have my charms but I have no idea if that's enough for him to be in love. It's complicated with each others work too... - I notice chan's gaze on me, he has his head leaned on his hand on the table and he's looking at me with bright eyes, eyes that look tired and a little drunk but somehow, he manages to look at me in a way that makes me feel adored, I don't know why you have to make me feel so much love, Bang Chan - Why are you looking at me like that?

- You have no idea how other people perceive you, do you? - he ignored your question, probably because of his drunk-ish drowsy state - Everyone I know likes you, see, you're a naturally kind and caring person, you're attentive to people's needs, you make sure everyone feels comfortable around you... that's so appreciated by everyone. I think you're exceptional y/n, you have this charismatic way of existing, a refreshing and comfy presence everyone can feel, but to me... it feels like home. You feel like home y/n. So... I have no idea who that person is but I sure as hell know they'd be more than lucky to have you as a partner and they're definitely dumb if they let you go.

- Are you dumb? - my heart's pounding quicker as I'm about to do something I didn't plan on doing ever.

- Huh? No, why w-

- Because that person is you... I like you, Chan. In a more-than-friends way - I interrupt him quickly before I lose my newly found courage.

Chan could've sworn his heart stopped for a few seconds. Suddenly sobriety hit him like a truck. It was the alcohol that made you say that, he thought, but he wished it was true and you didn't drink enough to be lying about this kind of stuff, you had a full on conversation and you seemed pretty sober.

- Y-y/n are you sober? - he tries to navigate through the situation.

- Oh my... yeah I am, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything, it just rolled out of my tongue. I'm sorry... - you said as you panicked and tried to go back inside, regret filling up all your organs.

"I messed up" your brain keeps repeating as desperation starts entering your body, until Chan grabbed your hand, stopping you from leaving.

- Wait! You don't need to apologize, I'm glad you told me... You didn't think I'd say all that about you if I didn't like you as well, did you? - he asks suggestively.

- I don't know - you blush as you realize what he's getting at - You're just so nice to everyone, I didn't make a big deal out of it.

- Well, you should've made it a big deal, the biggest deal actually because I've been trying really hard to show you how I feel these past few days and you were so clueless I thought you were purposefully ignoring the signs because you didn't like me back.

- I'm sorry Channie, I just didn't want to assume stuff and get heartbroken if it wasn't true.

-Well it is true, so you don't need to worry anymore. I really like you too, y/n. And I've wanted to say it for a while too, I was just wondering if it was a good idea since you work with us, but I can't contain my feelings anyways... you always treat me so softly and you look after the kids really well... It just feels like you were made to be by my side, you're the embodiment of the person I've always dreamed to be with, and these past few days with the kids and you... it just felt like we were the perfect family you know? I don't think I could be without you by my side anymore... - he stops, he's been staring at your eyes the whole time and now they're starting to water.

How could you not cry when he's saying the things you thought you'd only ever hear in dreams?

- Why are you crying sweetheart? - he whispered, as he wipes a tear with his thumb, the other hand holding your hand as he stands closer every second.

- It's just... I'm so... happy - you smile through your tears - I'm so happy to hear that, you said it in such a beautiful way too... I feel exactly the same, it's like I've gained a family with you guys but you... I've grown really attached to you, feels like some parts of you are tangled in my heart in ways I couldn't tear apart if I wanted to... I'm drawn to you and when I'm with you it's comfortable, blissful, it's right. You're so good to me, it's unbelievable, but it's true, and it warms my heart. - you say as your foreheads touch and your smile grows, his eyes showing so much adoration for you, you could melt.

Suddenly you share your first kiss together, a soft yet passionate mix of sensations, and it felt like everything you ever felt around Chan but better.

You stare into each other's eyes, smiling like the little lovely goofballs you both were, noses touching, ocasional little pecks filled with giggles because you were whipped for each other.

- So this means we're exclusive lovers now, yeah? - he asks with a blushing face, a very silent giggle and a huge, uncontrollable smile.

- Definitely, yeah - you answer biting your lip until eventually you let out the largest smile you ever had.

Needless to say, you didn't leave that balcony to go to sleep that evening. In fact, you two watched the sunrise kissing and cuddling, talking about the feelings you had for each other, when they started, why you liked each other, covered by a blanket, not wanting to let go of each other now that you were openly romantic.

Han found you both sound asleep, you on chan's lap, head on his neck as his arms wrapped around you gently, on a chair in the middle of the morning. He obviously called all the members to watch you two as they assumed you two finally got together. All of them saw it coming, Chan wouldn't shut up about you and had written what could be an entire album about you.

They were happy at least you'd be around more often to cook your delicious food. And you both blushed really hard once you woke up to lot's of teasing from the kids, it was fine tho, you liked it just like this, it was home.

#skz fluff #chan fluff #bang chan scenarios #bang chan oneshot #bang chan imagine #bang chan fluff #stray kids oneshot #stray kids fluff #bang chan angst #chan angst #skz oneshots #skz angst

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leonicscorpio · 3 years

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Batboy Headcanons because I made this for me but you all can enjoy this too if want. (May contain mild NSFW)

Dick:

Has a weird relationship with unwanted gaze and the attention he receives because of his physique. He genuinely likes the attention but he draws the line when people start getting touchy. Just because he's shirtless working out doesn't mean he gave you consent to touch him.

Has good dieting skills but he's in his mid-late 20's and his metabolism has 0 signs of slowing down. He once ate a whole xl bag of M&M's in front of Steph and Babs and both said they wanted to murder him because he won't gain a pound.

Dick has ADHD and I'm sorry if you don't think otherwise. He has hyperactive type ADHD and while he's gotten better at controlling his symptoms he still stims stretching and flexing his arms and shaking his arms.

While not so much in Gotham, Dick is very politically active and volunteers at voter registration and working with organizations with the mission of police demilitarization in Blüdhaven.

Dick is a very sexually driven individual. However, I don't think it's entirely healthy. His ADHD also comes into play with this but Dick just needs to have a release at least twice a day or he'll feel physically sick.

I don't know if you all have seen male gymnasts. But Dick, like the rest of them, has FREAKSISHLY large biceps. Everyone talks about Dick has the best ass in the bat family and while Jason may be larger and stronger, Dick has the best physique.

Dick's apartment is littered with sticky notes in places such as the fridge/in front of his computer. If it's not written down and in a place where he can't ignore it, it's not going to get done.

I'm sorry I know everyone says his birthday is in March but I have to go to the older Nightwing comics and say his Birthday is December 1st. I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me this man doesn't give off Sagittarius energy. You can't. I respect you but you can't look at that and tell me that man isn't a Sagittarius or has super heavy Sag in his birth chart.

Dick's at home doing nothing but chilling? You best believe he's gonna be shirts off, tits out, and rocking some blue flannel PJ's.

Dick is currently the only member of the family asides from Barbara who is regularly attending therapy. And he actively encourages each of his brothers and sisters to go every time.

After his Agent 37 days. He sits down with Jason and talks about having to use a gun and how hard it was. And how having to kill people has affected him. When he had to kill the KGBeast (Agent 37 days he snapped his neck) I headcanon Dick just trauma v*mit*d. Jason hugged him and just consoled him.

It's canon that Dick has anger issues but to me, it's not explored or talked about enough and not a lot of people like to talk about it. Dick is very much the 'if I ignore it it'll go away' type when it comes to his anger and he can brush most insults or harassment off fine enough. But when he breaks, he makes Jason look like a saint. I'm talking slamming you into a wall and screaming in your face angry. He'll be profusely apologetic afterward but still.

Despite popular belief, I don't think he's that bad of a cook. He's just not very experimentative. He can follow a recipe and does look at some guides. But to me, Dick Grayson just is that guy who is like Chicken veggies and rice are a meal that I can cook 4-6 times a week.

Dick has a slight fear of dentists. He doesn't have bad teeth and has good dental health. He just doesn't like the idea of a drill going in his mouth and the few times Bruce has to take him to a dentist he had a panic attack every time.

Everyone lives for the fics where Jason beats the shit out of Tim and everyone is just like lol well Bruce and Dick just forgives him. No. When Dick found out it was Jason who beat Tim to the ground, Dick was literally seething and told Jason "Pick on someone your own size or else I'll make you wish you back in that f'ing coffin."

Dick's favorite foods (some based in Canon*): Milk Chocolate*, Cereal*, Asparagus, Bananas, Banana flavored candy, Hawaiian Pizza* (suffer its canon) Rum, thanksgiving Turkey.

Jason:

He may be the self-diagnosed black sheep (rightfully so) of the family, but Jason does genuinely love spending time with his siblings. Whether it be sharing memes with them on social media or just randomly showing up where they are and abducting them to go get ice cream/coffee/snacks.

He'd probably attempt to harm you if you told him this to his face. But he is the closest acting to Bruce out of all of the family. In terms of mannerisms and inherent warmth and kindness behind a dark façade.

Has two moods: either exceptionally, almost neat-freak levels of clean, or his life is completely falling apart and Jason can't tell you for sure what color his floors are because there's so much stuff scattered about.

Despite their initial hatred of each other, Jason truly feels closest to Tim and Tim is the only person asides from maybe Barbra who he can just talk to without feeling any judgment.

Jason only smokes when he's extremely nervous about an operation or a hit. For those who don't know criminal justice cigarettes are the fastest way to get genetic material on someone. That being said he does still like to smoke occasionally.

Me, plus a lot of people give him this sort of 'Lazarus Rage' as I like to call it. When he's in the heat of a mission or if he's getting upset/angry his vision will get blurred with green, and it feeds on his anger and just gets perpetually harder to contain until he releases it. Jason has gotten much better at controlling it. But as he will tell Tim or Babs, he's "seeing green" which means they need to be careful because Jason could kill.

Everyone says Dick is the mother hen. I see you, I accept you, but let me raise you. Jason came to realize that he died because of his rash decision to go after The Joker alone. If Jason finds any of his siblings out acting alone, or even at the very least without Oracle. Jason WILL forcefully interject himself and ask them what the fuck they think their doing.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Trying to get close to Jason is hard. He will degrade you can attempt to try to get you to hate him before he lets you in (that cheeky Tsun of him)

He genuinely cares for and supports all of his siblings but has been rough on them needlessly. But if Bruce is being the distant or absent parent he is, you better believe if any of the siblings drops him a text or a call, Jason will be there in a heartbeat.

He's the most physically powerful of the whole Bat Family. You don't understand because of his time in the League, his time with the All-Caste, and having abused Venom for a time, he can snap an arm bone like it's a carrot with little effort.

Everyone in the family likes dogs and goes out of their way to gush over a dog, but Jason takes it to a whole new level. And even when he's masked up dogs just gravitate to Jason.

Can and has grown a beard in a matter of a few days. He usually likes to be clean shaven but some days he likes to wear a beard just to throw everyone off.

One time him, Steph, Tim, and Duke all went to a restaurant (Red Robin lol) and the waitress got his order wrong and his burger had raw tomatoes on it, Jason took the tomatoes off and ate it while looking absolutely miserable. Tim: Jay why did you eat that you didn't have to you know you could have asked the server to fix your burger. Jason, almost in tears: "She works really hard and she tried and I'm a scary dude I don't want to make her upset.." Duke: "... Jason you literally shot at a cop for looking at you funny the other day. But you're afraid of upsetting a waitress?!? I mean ACAB but dude.. "

Jason's happiest big brother moment™ was taking Tim and Damian to the shooting range and watching them both get their first bullseye.

You can't tell me Jason Todd was into the Emo/Screamo/Warped-Tour Scene. His favorite bands/Albums in no particular order, That's the Spirit (Literally the whole album is Jason Themed and I'm gonna die on this hill) & Sempiternal by Bring me the Horizon, Digital Renegade & Everyone's Safe in the Treehouse by I See Stars, The Resistance: Rise of the Runaways by Crown the Empire,

Jason Todd's favorite foods: (Also some based in Canon*) Burgers, Chili Dogs*, Lager-style beers, Freshly baked bread*, Neopolitan ice cream, grilled corn, and Chinese Chicken noodle soup with Duck.

Tim:

This boy *slaps car roof* gives off so much asexual energy. I know New 52 exists but I just feel like Tim is the person who really, REALLY has to trust you and like you before he's sexually active with you.

HYPERFIXATES. You also can't tell me Tim isn't on the spectrum/or has ADHD.

Is the only member of the family who regularly checks up on Jason and talks to him every day via text message. The two are memelords together and love to play pranks on the other members.

While Dick may give the most frequent hugs and Jason gives the tightest, most secure hugs, Tim's hugs are always the warmest and make you just feel good.

Tim's birthday is July 19th. Meaning he's a Cancer. Let that sink in.. no, really let that information just soak. (Note I have nothing against Cancer women, cancer men however....)

All of the bat boys really struggle with talking about their feelings. Dick will manipulate you into changing the subject via twisting it to be about you, Jason will just cut you off or will ignore you, Damian will deflect everything and harass you until you stop, Tim however, Tim is very emotional and while he's very calculated about who he's emotional with, he's not afraid to break down and cry if he trusts you.

Everyone who says he's the level headed Robin haha how's it feel to be WRONG. Tim is at best the least functional college student and at worst a lemming. 'No Tim, coffee isn't a meal I'm going to make you some food or I'm going to stick you in a room with Damian for an hour.' Richard (Dick) John Grayson.

People overblow how addicted to caffeine Tim is. But it's true. Just overblown. You can talk to him before he's had his caffeine just don't expect him to be anything but curt and blunt.

Everyone says Jason would be the worst at texting but it's Tim. He's the master of leaving you on read. While Jason may do it on purpose, Tim is just really bad at texting people and while he always will read your messages he forgets to respond unless it's really funny or really pressing.

Everyone sees Tim as this bean pole super skinny boy Robin. Tim may not be stacked like Dick or a freaking tank like Jason, but Tim is NOT super skinny. He's just as muscular and likes to work out as anyone, but he just is super lean, so he looks a lot bigger and his muscles are more defined because of how thin his skin is. He has those almost disgusting spider veins on his arm. Kind of gross to look at, but he's the dream of any nurse. This means Tim is also the king of accidentally sending/posting thirst traps.

He really is the glue of the Bat Family. Everyone kidnaps Tim for 'Tim Time'.

Dick likes to spar with and in general just hang out with Tim. Tim tried to teach Dick how to skateboard and you'd think the boy who mastered the trapeze would know how to skateboard but you'd be wrong.

Babs and Tim always hang out and talk about computer stuff and Babs knows she can vent to Tim about anything and he won't say a word.

Tim and Steph were a thing for a while and even though they're just friends now, they still are very close and the two have a very deep bond, liking to shop with each other and watch movies,

Cass just loves to be around Tim because of how calming he is but also she knows she can spar with him AND Cass can also skateboard with Tim too.

Even though him and Damian are always fighting, the two still end up being together and have this unspoken bond. They work great together on a team but other than that they still hate each other.

And while everyone still is hesitant around Jason, and despite the fact that Jason literally beat Tim to within an inch of his life, AND would still trigger Tim and taunt him about it. The two have this odd closeness that rivals even him and Steph. Tim will always be the first to bat for Jason. Jason was Tim's Robin. And despite the fact Jason literally beat it into Tim's head to "never meet your heroes." Tim will always be there for Jason should he ask. The two are just close. And it's hard to describe. Bruce has caught Tim and Jason just platonically sleeping next to each other or just doing their own things shoulder to shoulder silently, just enjoying each other's company.

Tim and Duke also have a really positive relationship with one another and the two can stay up all night just talking about anything. Their minds just mesh well together. The two also love to team up and prank the other members of the Batman Family.

Tim's favorite ASMR/Stim? Watching those Tik Toks of people cleaning computers or cleaning phones. The sound of an air duster is like music to his ears and if any of the Bats need their technology cleaned it secretly makes Tim so happy to help them.

Wear his hair up or wear his hair down? It depends! While Tim likes his long hair he also has gotten plenty of compliments for his short hair and likes to style it to suit any occasion.

My one pet-peeve with Tim is that he probably is that person who lets his privilege show from time to time. While he was essentially raised to just sit down, shut up, and be a perfect trophy son to the Drake's. The Drake's were in the same tax bracket as Bruce and Tim definitely was a rich kid. He never means to come across as spoiled, but sometimes Jason will give him harsh looks if Tim just throws away food he doesn't like or says things like Chipotle is 'poor people food'

Tim Drake's favorite foods (you know by now*) Donuts*, Shallot and Artichoke Pizza with Canadian Bacon* (odd choice but it could work) Artichokes in general are his favorite vegetable, Strawberries, and Beef Pho.

Damian:

I headcanon that he has the worst teeth of all of the Bat Boys and he actually has to use lingual braces. (Hence why you can't see his braces)

Canonically is a very good artist and while him and Tim don't get along, Tim introduced Damian to digital art and gave him a photoshop pack and a nice tablet for his birthday one year and Damian loved it so much.

Damian is a capricorn and I will die on this hill. A January capricorn too.

Now you want a good chef? You've got Damian. Having converted to veganism Damian has had to get creative whenever he goes out to eat so he tends to like to eat more home cooked foods. Damian loves all matters of mushrooms, eggplant, and bell peppers.

Damian really struggles the most with his wanting to just be a normal kid. Despite the fact he will dismiss you for it, anytime he gets to spend at Gotham Academy with Jon and the rest of the kids he's naturally the happiest.

Damian LOVES to give gifts. He loves the look on people's faces when they are shocked when they actually get something from Damian.

Despite the fact that he's been traumatized from both his times with Ra's and Talia as well as with Bruce. He just wants Bruce and Talia to be together because he loves them both equally.

While he's the least flexible and least gymnastic of the Robins do let your guard down around him. He is the fastest runner and the guy is rivaled only by Jason in terms of lethality.

So someone (Jason Todd & Duke Thomas) introduced Damian to trap music and ever since anytime his phone gets stolen people will be shocked to find he's listening to some combination of Lil' Yachty, X, Kendrick Lamar, Wiz, and Kodak.

If any random person tries to hug Damian he'll immediately push them away, he'll bitch and moan about just about anyone hugging him other than Bruce & Dick.

Damian loves to go to the beach/the ocean. He just thinks it's so vast and he loves the brineness of the air. Also being half white, quarter middle-eastern and quarter Chinese (Yes everyone forgets Talia is half Chinese) Damian gets DARK. And although he's just okay as a swimmer he still likes bogeyboarding and eventually wants to learn how to surf.

I'm genuinely afraid once Puberty is done with this kid and everyone in the family is. He has Bruce Wayne AND Talia Al-Ghouls genes and those are two SEXY human beings. Damian's gonna grow a beard one day and people aren't going to know how to act.

Damian secretly plays Fortnight and not even Jon knows. He doesn't want to get shamed. He'd rather lose a match and ruin his streaks than deal with the shame of anyone in that family finding out he plays Fortnight.

Damian Wayne's favorite foods (canon*) Cereal*, Avocados, Grilled Tempeh, his mom's Tabbouleh, Mushroom Tacos, and Vegan Sushi rolls, and grape juice.

Duke Thomas

Duke is like, freakishly good with a piano, and he picked it up naturally!

Also everyone says Tim brews the best pot of coffee in the Bat Family, cue to everyone's surprise when Tim was sick one day and couldn't make a pot. Only to find the coffee was freaking amazing. Duke didn't take any credit at first until Alfred let it slip that Duke was the one who brewed the pot.

Duke being the only Meta of the family originally thought he was the double-token because he was a Meta and a black boy. Needless to say his fears were seriously unfounded the moment he got to know everyone.

Although he somewhat fears Jason and his temper initially, he and Jason have one of the closest relationships in the family. If Tim isn't around to bat for Jason, Duke will happily take his spot. The two work on each other's bikes and grew to share the same taste in music.

Duke uses his Photokenetic powers as a force for good and for shenanigans. Jason wants to play a prank on Dick and Damian while Dick is reading Damian a story? Duke will hide Jason in the shadows and will cover up his shadow. Alfred dropped something in the dark? You better believe Duke will find it in 3 seconds or less.

Duke makes it a point to visit his parents every weekend to talk to them. Although they are making some progress in their recoveries, it's still slow going. Eventually, he starts bringing members of the family to see his parents. It started with Cass, then Jason, and the rest followed suit.

Duke loves playing video games with Damian and even helps Damian beat some tougher levels when Damian is about to rage and destroy the console.

Duke is into Magic the Gathering and you cannot tell me otherwise. Duke also is the DM for the Bat Kids annual D&D games. I can and will make a D&D Batfam Headcanons if asked.

Loves Pho just as much as Cass and Tim and they all call it a date night every now and then where they can go to a hole in the wall pho place. It's really a secret between the three of them.

DUKE THOMAS IS THE BEST SWIMMER OF THE BAT BOYS AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL. HE JUST THRIVES IN THE WATER.

Finding out his birth father is a supervillain was really tough for him. He went into a shell for a little bit afterwards. Cass and Steph were there to help talk him out of his funk.

Duke Thomas's favorite foods (lol what canon DC hasn't acknowleged our boy in a while..) Chicken Pho, Thai Iced Tea, Papaya, Crab Cakes, Italian Hoagies, his mom's Lemon Poundcake, mint chocolate chip ice cream.

I hope y'all enjoyed! Up next (eventually) will be the Bat Girls!

#Dick Grayson #Batfam #Batboys #Jason Todd #Tim Drake #Damian Wayne #Duke Thomas #Bruce Wayne #Barbara Gordon #Cassandra Cain #Stephanie Brown #Headcanons #Slight OOC but hey If DC can't stay in character neither should I

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prettyvampiress96 · 3 years

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The Malfoy Secret - Chapter 3

Since the traumatic death of her last living relative, Anna had since been a guest in the Malfoy manor . Although she was by now a little more than a guest. Her aunt was peacefully laid to rest and throughout the whole ordeal the Malfoys were her absolute anchor to reality. Anna however still couldn't put her thoughts in order at the situation. On one hand Anna had wanted to go home but on the other hand she rather enjoyed the company of the Malfoys. Anna had previously attempted to return home twice. The first time Anna had gone to return home , Draco begged her not to leave claiming he wanted to make the most of her company before his return to his last term of third year next week.. The second time Cissa began fretting about her wellbeing. Her being worried about Anna all alone in that big house. So Anna agreed to stay to ease Cissa's conscience but did say that she would return before her first day of work at the Ministry. What Anastasia didn't know was that she would be the right hand assistant to Lucius himself. The letter enclosing said information remained unopened in the Rosier mansion.

The following week Narcissa and Lucius bid Draco farewell at kings cross station whilst Anna was already in the Ministry of Magic for her first day along with another student from her year . Anastasia now knew that she would be working with Lucius , she was relieved at least it was someone who wouldn't judge her by her name. Though the thought of being in such a confined space with the white haired man had butterflies filling the pit of her stomach. Lucius strutted into his office in the department of Magical Law Enforcement, halting in his footsteps at the sight of his darling Anna stretching on the tips of her feet to reach a book higher up on the shelf, Lucius held back a laugh as he took in just how miniature she was even in a pair of heels. Even though he adored that about her , he couldn't help picture in absolutely nothing but those heels all stretched out for him and for cissa of course. Anna hadn't yet realised he had entered the room she was too caught up in finding the book Mr. Crouch had requested. Lucius took this as his moment . He walked as quietly as he could towards her . When Anna was in his reach, his large hands held her hips , his long fingers digging in slightly. Anna's back pressed flush against his broad chest. Leaning down to her ear. "You want my help with that darling ?" He whispered pressing himself further into the girl. Anna blushed at the feeling of his hardened member making itself known. Easily reaching for the book , his hand could reach without him even trying. "By all means you can say no and I shall just sit back and watch as that little skirt rides up more and more. Its taking I have not to throw you over my desk and worship you right here babygirl" Lucius smirked as Anastasia let out a squeak at the pet name he called her. Lucius brought the book down to Anna's eyesight, offering it out to her , Anna still pressed against the overly large shelf. Before Anna could respond in walked Narcissa. Narcissa drank in the scene in front of her , the sight of her husband and hopefully her soon to be princess. Anastasia's face flushed a deep red as she resisted the urge to run into Cissa's arms. " My darling how lovely of you to join us isn't that right princess?" Lucius turned to face cissa while slipping a wink to Anna. "I .. Uh..you...I should get this book to Mr. Crouch " she said shyly unsure of how to respond , after all neither of them had spoken since her and cissa kissed. Anna couldn't help wondering is Narcissa regretted it. Bowing her head Anna moved to rush from the room. "WAIT, STOP" Narcissa called after her smiling as annas feet immediately come to a halt." Hurry back darling there's something we should all talk about". Anna nodded in response quickly exiting the room. Anastasia walked with the book in her arms just down the hall, knocking respectively , Anna awaited permission before entering. " Mr Crouch I'm terribly sorry if I am interrupting I'm just bringing the book you requested from Mr Malfoy" Anastasia informed showing the book as if she needed the proof. "Ah right yes, good good I do believe you may have just missed crossing paths with our young Mr Weasley. He took it upon himself to retrieve that book . A good boy he is . If that is all Miss Rosier I am rather busy I'm afraid" Mr Crouch, the minister of Magic himself said without raising so much as his head. Anna walked back to Lucius's office , the sound of her heels clacking with every step, when suddenly body blocks her way. "You know you'd think the slimy Slytherin's would crawl back into their holes rather than working for the Ministry . Your father was a blind fool to follow the dark lord . Tell me what would daddy think of his daughter now. Oh no thats right he got himself killed before you could wipe the drool from your chin? " Percy Weasley sneered at her . Anastasia's blood fuelled an inferno of rage and Percy was about to get a taste of the fire. Passer's by began to stop and watch while office doors seemed to open for the fellow workers to do the same. Annas eyes glazed over and she smiled a

sweet smile. " Don't you ever speak of my family in that way do you hear me ? You want to know what my 'daddy' thinks , insult me again and you'll be finding out" Anna threatened in a low voice her wand drawn and pressed into the younger Weasleys throat. Lucius Malfoy was the first to intervene , his hand pushing anna's armed one down. He ushered the furious girl into the office and she slowly began following. " Enjoy freedom while you can I'm sure they've got a cell in Azkaban with your family's name on call it an heirloom. As cold, dark narcissistic murderers run in your family dont they. When you slip up Rosier and you will . I will be the one to put you there myself" Percy shouted at her back. Taken off guard Percy hadn't expected Anna to throw 'stupefy at him knocking him down the hall by a few good feet . " Funny that if I'm to go to Azkaban it'll be for killing you. You're a no good blood traitor and yet you think you actually have the audacity to think you stand a chance against me. I know spells your mother couldnt even dream of mastering . You think you can talk about my family when you know absolutely nothing . I'll escort myself to Azkaban right now once I've sent your cold body to your mother. That dark enough for you saint Percy? Anna fumed her wand raised . Arthur Weasley emerged from the crowd , his wand drawn protecting his son. Lucius drew his wand and stood directly in front of Anastasia.

"Princess go, back to the office head held high cissy is there and I'll be right behind you "Lucius whispers so low only Anastasia could hear it. Anna nods confirming she had indeed heard his words but she was reluctant to walk away. When Lucius firmly commands her once again to go as she reaches the offices, she can already feel the tears fill her eyes and the burning sensation in her chest. Anna just wanted to scream . Instead she shuts the door and walks to her desk with her head down. Realisation hitting her like a tonne of bricks Anna slides down the nearest wall. Narcissa immediately running to the sobbing girl sitting next to her , Cissa cradled anna against her chest, rocking slightly whilst rubbing a hand soothingly on the black haired girls back.

"I'm not a bad person I've followed every rule. I've never put a foot wrong yet I'm still painted with the same brush as my father am I destined to be alone. Perhaps Azkaban is the best place for someone with a name like mine". Lucius having now dealt with the pathetic Weasleys returns just as Anna sobs those words. Seeing her so broken and seeing his wife so affected at those words only tempted Lucius to go back and seriously damage the disrespectful boy. Weighing his options, nothing was more important than his family and as of that his girls needed him. Narcissa who was still holding Anna raised her head to look at her husband , she tilted her head to the side silently asking what had happened out there.

He ushered Narcissa over to him which she does hesitantly. Torn between leaving Anna and finding out what had occurred . Narcissa's curiosity got the best of her. "Anna I'll be right back darling" Narcissa whispered assuringly. Lucius explains in a hushed whisper briefly what happened. Narcissa can't believe what she's heard. How could someone say something so cruel about her baby girl. Lucius made his way over to Anna and bent down, lifting her chin up to face him. " Don't you ever let me hear say that about yourself . We would never allow you to be put in that wretched place. A name does not define you. That boy knows nothing. He is nothing. You are my everything. Our everything " he would say pulling cissa to him as she steps nearer not wanting to scare Anna . "I'm yours. Like both of you?" Anna questioned back , her green eyes wide and her pink lips pouted in slight confusion. " Why don't we all go back home a discuss this over a drink hmm?" Cissa hinted holding her hand out for her husband and Anna to take .

They arrive back at Malfoy Manor and Anna takes a seat on the sofa in the front room with Cissa sitting on one side of her and Lucius on the other side. Lucius gently takes one of Anna’s hands in his and with the other hand gently turns her head to face him “Anna I meant what I said earlier you are our everything and I want to discuss you becoming apart of our relationship” He nods at Cissa before continuing “There is no pressure Anna, you can say no and we’ll respect your decision. It won’t affect our working relationship either.” Anna doesn’t respond straight away, feeling a little shocked at his offer. “Should you agree to be with us boundaries would be set in place, which leads me to my next question. What are your boundaries Anna?” Lucius’ voice soft as he looks into her eyes.

“I don’t have any boundaries as I’ve never done this before” Anna answers honestly as she holds his gaze for a moment before looking down at her lap, a look of confusion washes over his face “Anna had never been kissed before I kissed her two weeks ago” Cissa explained. Lucius places his fingers under Anna’s chin lifting her head up “Just to confirm Anna, you are a virgin?” She nods at him and feels her cheeks heat in a light blush. “We’ll take things nice and slow; we’ll go at a pace that suits you…if you agree to be ours that is.” Lucius tells her with a smile on his lips and Anna couldn’t help herself, she looked down at his mouth and licked her lips. Cissa nods agreeing with her husband “We will look after you. You will be safe with us…always” Cissa took hold of Anna’s other hand in hers and begun rubbing small soothing circles on the back of her hand with her thumbs.

Anna looks between Cissa and Lucius before speaking “I’d like to be yours, both of yours but I’m worried I cannot offer you much in return” Cissa turns Anna’s head so she is looking at her “Just by agreeing to be with us is giving us more than you can imagine. All we want to do is to make you feel loved, safe and of course pleasure you beyond your wildest dreams” Cissa smiles and leans forward pressing her lips to Anna’s in a quick but sweet kiss.

“If we overstep a boundary or you start to feel uneasy or anything just tell us. In fact, to be sure we are all comfortable with this arrangement I recommend we use safe words” Lucius said softly, his breath warm against her ear “Safe words?” Anna asked shyly and he chuckled lightly “Ahh so innocent my sweet girl” His fingers brushing her hair aside as he placed a soft kiss to her neck before continuing “Each of us picks a word that once spoken the others know enough is enough. The moment the word is spoken everything stops…straight away, no questions or explanations needed” Anna turned her head slightly so she was looking at him over her shoulder “I’d like to be yours, both of yours” He smiled at her before capturing her lips with his.

Lucius and Narcissa both hand in hand with Anastasia began escorting her up the winding black marble case not stopping until they reached the door to the master bedroom. Both Malfoys stood watching Anna's reaction as Lucius twisted the handle of the door pushing it open , allowing Anna the first step inside. Anastasia was in awe at the decoration. With a flick of his wrist Lucius had set candles alight causing a rather romantic atmosphere. Anna's hand was still laced with Cissa's, she was reminded off that when Narcissa squeezed her hand. " What do you think babygirl?" Cissa asked brushing a loose strand of Anna's hair from her face, leaning in she placed a soft kiss on Anna's lips . "It's beautiful Cissy . It really is" Anna breathed looking behind her for Lucius. When Anastasia noticed him still stood by the door only now minus his dress shirt , she reached her hand towards him wanting to touch . Lucius noticed Anna's hesitation and stepped into her reach, taking her hands he placed them on the centre of his broad chest. Anna's hands ran up over his bare shoulders and linked around his neck attempting to pull him down to her level due to the height difference. Anna could feel his intoxicating scent overwhelm her and she took the plunge pressing her lips to his . His kiss was different to that of Cissa's it was rougher and more dominant . Lucius's hands reached over the curves of Anna's ass and lifted her up, her legs wrapping around his waist as he walked them to the bed . A naked Narcissa joined the pair , running her fingers up anna's bare legs causing anna gasp allowing Lucius access to her tongue . Anastasia pulled back from her make out session , glancing at Narcissa, her eyes tracing over the perky nipples of her breasts. Anna's mouth ran dry . She had no idea what she wanted but god that woman was it. " Remember Darling we can stop whenever you like , tonight is all about you my pretty babygirl , mommy and daddy will make you feel so good I promise princess you just have to trust us" Narcissa spoke softly tapping her finger on the top button of anna's shirt. " Can mummy take this off baby " Cissa cooed , anna nodded and proceeded to remove the shirt herself only for cissa to stop her. "Let mommy do it angel please" Cissa asked again this time Anna nodded and allowed cissa to removed her top. Narcissa dropped the shirt to the floor her eyes never looking away from Annas full breasts, leaning forward cissa placed a wet kiss to the tops of her breasts. Ana in response arched her back unaware that her hips had rocked against the very non discreet package in Lucius's trousers. Narcissa's hands travelled lower and lower until they reached the waistband of the very tight skirt Anna had on. Cissa's fingers hooked into the band but waited for permission from Anna . "Princess Mommy's waiting for you "Lucius whispered in Anna's ear. Anastasia nodded fervently glancing down and the sight of a naked Narcissa between her thighs . Anna couldnt peel her eyes away. In a split second her skirt and panties were removed , Anna's core now slick and bare to Cissa who licked her lips in delight at the prize in front of her . "We can stop if you want to little princess, you just have to say and we promise we wont be disappointed in the slightest or should mommy continue" Lucius reminded . " No please Don't stop please dont stop "Anna pleaded . Her pleas were music to their ears. Lucius interlocked his fingers with Anna's , watching over anna's shoulder as his wife's head leant even closer to Annas blazing sex. Narcissa hummed as she dragged a finger through Anna's wet folds, shivering at the breathless gasp she made in response. Narcissa placed a soft kiss to either side of Anastasias inner thigh before connecting her warm tongue to her wet pussy. Anna's hips rose from the emerald sheets , her head thrown back into the crook of Lucius's neck and her grip on his hands getting tighter. " Is mummy making you feel good baby girl ? Let us hear those beautiful noises of yours petal" Lucius teased in advance. Anna mewled , feeling

an unfamiliar weight in the pit of her stomach. Narcissa continued flicking the sensitive bud while she introduced a single finger into Anna's tight hole preparing to stretch her out for Lucius. Slowly and gently Cissa began thrusting that finger in and out in time with the flicking of the bud . With her fingers getting so slick from Anna's running juices , cissa added a second finger and with every thrust in began spreading them apart . Anna's walls began to clench around Cissa's fingers locking them in place and her thighs tightening pulling cissa closer than she was. " Oh Oh Oh " Anna screamed as she rode her first ever climax down on Narcissa .Anna felt shifting from behind her as Lucius moved himself from the bed taking Cissa's place between Anna's thighs. Climbing above her Cissa placed a kiss to Anna's lips. "You did so well darling mummy's so proud of you. Does Daddy want a taste do you think? " Narcissa beamed down at her baby all glistening in sweat , glancing to her husband smirking. Lucius's hand reached across grabbing cissa at the chin, passionately kissing his wife all the while tasting the sweet nectar of his princess on her tongue. At some point during the exchange Lucius had removed his remaining clothing. Lucius tapped on Anna's thighs grabbing her attention. Narcissa sat near Annas head now it was her turn to watch the faces her baby pulled whilst screaming from the pleasure she was receiving. " Princess you need to listen just for a minute okay? Are you sure this is what you want? I won't lie to you my girl it might be a little uncomfortable at first but that passes. Are you absolutely sure?" Lucius needed to make her aware he'd never forgive himself if he hurt her . " Please I trust you Daddy I'd like to try. Help me try" Anna begged her voice sounding like a whine. Lucius wrapped his hand around his painfully hard cock swiping the pre-cum from the swollen head to lubricate it slightly. The combination of that and Anna's cum should be just enough.

As he slowly began to ease into her, Anna's walls clenched around him as a pained groan leaves her throat. Digging her nails into his shoulders as she squeezes her eyes shut tight, Anna's body tenses against his when he comes to a stop. His body trembling as he fights the lust inside him to thrust into his pretty little princess .When the pain starts to subside Anastasia slowly moves her hips .

"Please " was all Anna could muster out. Lucius takes her thigh and places it on his hip as he starts to slowly move against her . Quickly finding a steady rhythm, as his hips roll against hers both moving in perfect harmony , Anna could feel every thrust against her walls. Her nails leave red half-moon crescents on biceps. Narcissa sat back observing couldnt help but reach down and began circling her own clit. His name falls from Anastasia's mouth like a prayer when he finds that specific spot inside of her . "Fuck, Princess , you feel so good around Daddy" he moans as he thrust faster into her , pleasure invaded her senses as her vision begins to cloud , with her head thrown back Anna can no longer keep the moans inside of her . An inferno rages inside of her , Her hands fall from his arms to grasp at the sheets with such a force her knuckles began turning white. "Papi, I'm..." she moans out. " Let it go baby I'm here Daddy's here" Lucius coaxed. Anastasias walls enclosed around Lucius's cock , her nectar coating his manhood. With a last thrust into her Lucius emptied his load filling his princess up to the brim. Gently removing himself from inside her , Lucius laid to the right of Anna enclosing her in his arms, Narcissa laid to the left of Anna . "Our princess did absolutely perfect wouldn't you say so dear?" Narcissa asked Lucius. "Oh i couldn't agree more darling. How are you feeling Princess?" Lucius asked Anna. The three of them an entanglement of limbs. Until Narcissa rose from the bed and into the large bathroom followed by the sound of running water. " Come on Darling let us clean you up and put you in something comfy before you fall asleep" Narcissa commented. Anna however was quite tired and comfy as she mumbled incoherent words from where she was. Lucius scooped her up into his arms and took her into the bathroom himself. Narcissa already in the bath, held her arms out as he lowered his princess down into her lap. A scent of lavender and camomile filled their senses. Lucius lathered up a sponge and glided it over every inch of Anastasias body. Anastasia snapped from her dazed state smiling at both Lucius and Narcissa. Before putting her head down and playing with her fingers , a sign they had already noticed when she was nervous or embarrassed. " Princess Is everything alright darling? Are you hurt or in pain?" Cissa asked concerned she may be hurt . " No no nothing like that I was urm well I just wondered could I stay with you two tonight?" Anna asked so quietly that if they had been any further away they wouldn't have caught it. "Of Course you sweet girl you were always going to sleep in with us . We wouldn't have it any other way. Now why dont you let mommy wash your hair whilst daddy gets out and fetches you something comfy eh?" Narcissa said softly to Anna pulling her in for a cuddle in the warm water. With the girls dressed in Narcissa's nightgowns , Lucius had made a mental note to have cissa and anna go shopping soon. Lucius had already pulled back the covers and slid in, waiting for his girls to come out. "Which side should I sleep?" Anna asked Narcissa. They hadn't discussed that yet. " Why dont you sleep in the middle darling so that way we can both hold you" Lucius offered. Anna scrambled into bed followed by Cissa. Cissa took hold of Annas hand and kissed the knuckles.

"I'm so happy you agreed to be ours our darling girl "Narcissa expressed. Lucius turned on his side facing Anna and Cissa draping his arm across the both of them in a protective manner. " I love you both my precious girls" Lucius said lovingly. The three slept in each others embrace for the rest of the night.

#lucius malfoy #narcissa malfoy #narcissamalfoy #lucius malfoy smut #lucius malfoy x reader

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imaginationintowords · 3 years

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Folklore [song series]

epiphany

Modern Day AU! Bucky Barnes x Natasha Romanoff; Steve Rogers x OC!Reader

Plot: Inspired by Taylor Swift’s new album Folklore. The story follows the timeline of Bucky and Elizabeth’s life throughout the years

[warnings: death]

word count: 3168

Age: 21 Year: Sep. 2015 Location: Brooklyn, NY

"So I was thinking, godparents," Bucky spoke up. He and Natasha were currently finishing setting up the baby's nursery in their new apartment.

They had found a nice two bedroom apartment in Brooklyn, much to Natasha's dismay. Bucky thought it was the perfect place to start their new little family. It was also about a 20 to 30 minutes drive to Bucky's work and University campus. His mom and stepdad had even offered to help them out financially for a bit, just as long as Bucky continued on his path to graduate with his Masters in Music Technology in the Spring.

Bucky had managed to finish his bachelor's and masters program in just the span of 4 years, a whole year earlier than originally planned. He was proud of himself, if there's one thing he hadn't screwed up yet, it was his education. He had fully devoted himself to his education the last four years and it clearly paid off. He had also managed to get a good paying job at a studio as an engineer. He had his whole future all planned out, the pregnancy might've been a curve ball at the beginning but with the help of his family and therapist, he was handling it all so well.

"Oh you don't need to worry about the godparents, I have it all figured out already," Natasha tells him as she folds baby clothes, "I picked Abigail and Dylan."

Natasha on the other hand had decided to put her education on hold. Deciding she wanted to be a stay at home mom, Bucky constantly made sure that that's what she wanted. And she insisted every time that she was "made to be a stay at home mom". So Bucky had to reluctantly allow her to make that decision.

Which was one of the reasons why his parents had offered to help out for at least the first year or two, they had known their son was already stressing about finances, and trying to respect Natasha's decision. They figured two years would be a good enough time for the couple to build up their savings.

Bucky didn't like the fact that his parents were helping out with money, but he knew him and Nat wouldn't have been able to make it just on is current income alone. At least not until after he graduated, his boss had already promised a raise once he graduated, but that wasn't until May and the baby was due in the next two weeks. He promised to pay his parents back every cent they gave him, but they told him to just focus on being a good father.

"Abigail and Dylan?" He questioned.

"Yeah," she shrugged her shoulders.

"The same Abigail and Dylan that showed up to the baby shower high, and proceed to get drunk, because and I quote 'babies are so boring'. That Abigail and Dylan?"

"Come on James, they were just joking, plus baby showers aren't necessarily the most fun thing in the world," she rolled her eyes.

"Can we at least each choose one godparent?" He suggested, "You can have Abigail as the Godmother and I can choose The Godfather."

"Like Sam?"

"No, not Sam. Steve," Bucky tells her.

"Oh, then no," she simply said, turning her back to him to continue putting clothes away.

"What's your problem?" Bucky asks annoyed, finally having enough of her attitude, "This entire pregnancy you've been against everything I've suggested."

"Hey, you got to choose Brooklyn," she turned around pointing her finger at him.

"Yeah because I couldn't fucking afford Manhattan Natasha," he stressed, trying not to raise his voice at her, "You didn't want to know the gender of the baby? Fine. You get to name the baby? Fine. You choose the color scheme of the nursery, fine. You choose the hospital. You choose the apartment. God damn Nat, I haven't done a single thing but pay for everything."

"And I thank-you for that," she rolled her eyes.

"But you don't," he shakes his head in disbelief over her reactions, "You haven't thanked me once. I get that you're carrying our child, and I'm appreciative of that. But god damn Natasha, show me some respect. Show my family some respect!

"You didn't thank my mom, Rebecca, or Keith for everything they've done for you. For us. And I can't keep making up excuses to defend you," he raises his voice a little bit.

"If this relationship is ever going to work, you need to be respectful. You need to stop being so selfish. I get this isn't easy for you, but trust me, this isn't easy for me either. But I agreed to do this. I am stepping up. I want to be a part of my child's life. And I want us to be together and be family," he calms down, "But if you continue to act this way. I won't stay in this relationship."

"You're just going to abandon us?" Natasha asks grabbing her belly, suddenly realizing the reality of the situation.

"No, I won't abandon you both. But we won't be together," he explains, "I will always be in my child's life. I will always be there for them. I'm not going to put my child through the same thing I went through growing up. I promised myself I would never do that."

"So if that means that you and I break up, then so be it Natasha, I'll do it," he tells her, "My child will not grow up in a toxic household."

"Okay," she agrees, tears in her eyes, "I promise I will be better."

"Don't promise me Nat, just show me."

Two and a half weeks later Bucky found himself rushing an in-labor Natasha to the hospital, it was a quick k10 minute drive from their apartment. He quickly called his mom as the nurses wheeled Natasha away, with Bucky following.

Bucky's mom arrives within the next 10 minutes, as the nurses begin to prep Natasha in her hospital room.

Bucky sent a quick text to Steve and Sam, letting them know it was showtime and that he'll call them once the baby is here.

"How's Mama doing?" The doctor asked while entering the room, quickly taking her spot at the foot of the bed to examine Natasha.

"It hurts," Nat cried, as Bucky tried to soothe her.

"I know, but unfortunately you were too far dilated when you arrived, that it's too late for the epidural," the doctor softly explains, "But the good news is I feel Baby's head, so it's time to go."

Natasha looked over at Bucky, completely scared.

"It's okay," he assured her, "I'm right here. Everything's going to be okay."

He leaned down an placed a soft kiss to her lips, helping her relax a bit.

"Ready?" The doctor looks up at Natasha.

"Yes," Natasha nodded, grabbing a hold of Bucky and his mom's hands on either side of her.

10 minutes later, a soft cry was heard in the room. Bucky quickly glanced over to where the doctor was had finished pulling the baby out.

"Congrats Mommy and Daddy, it's a girl," she announced.

"A girl?" Bucky whispered in awe, tears filling his eyes. He looked over at Natasha, who looked a lot paler in color.

"Nat?" He called out for her.

Her eyes fluttered shut, her limbs went limp, and all the monitors started to go crazy.

The doctor quickly cut the umbilical chord and handed the baby off to an awaiting nurse.

"What's going on?" Bucky panicky asked.

"Get them out," the doctor told a nurse, ignoring Bucky's question.

A nurse quickly escorted Bucky and his mom out of the room.

"She's going to be okay right?" He asked his mom, tears streaming down his face.

"I don't know honey," she honestly said, wrapping her arms around her son. She never thought the first hug they shared after him becoming a father would be like this.

She continued to hold him, soothing him as she made silent prayers pleading for Natasha's safety.

10 minutes later. The same 10 minutes it took for them to arrive to the hospital. The same 10 minutes it took Natasha to bring their daughter into the world, the door opened.

Bucky quickly pulled apart from his mom to see the doctor walking out of the room.

The doctor's face was filled with sorrow. Bucky's mom immediately put her head down, already knowing the outcome.

"How is she?" Bucky asked.

"Mr. Barnes, Natasha had a postpartum hemorrhage, due to issues with her placenta," the doctor carefully explains, "Unfortunately, there was too much blood loss. We weren't able to save her. She died."

Bucky immediately broke down, his mom quickly caught him. The doctor placed a reassuring hand on his back.

He quickly pulled away after a couple of minutes, "The baby. How's the baby?"

"She's good. They took her to get checked just as a safety procedure," the doctor tells him, "She's on the pediatric floor. Would you like to meet her?"

"Yeah," he says, then pauses, "What about Natasha?"

"We can come get you to say goodbye once we get her cleaned," the doctor tells him.

"Okay, thank you," he says.

The doctor takes him and his mom to the pediatric floor. The walk was silent. No one knowing what to say. Bucky was no longer crying, but he felt numb the entire short walk. The doctor knocked quietly on a door, before opening.

"Doctor Monroe, this is Mr. Barnes, the baby's father," the doctor said, before stepping aside to let Bucky in, "Mr. Barnes, I'll have someone come get you when it's time."

"Okay, thank-you," he nodded his head.

"Are you ready to meet your daughter?" Doctor Monroe asked, Bucky nodded his head.

"Meet your Daddy baby girl," the doctor said, gently handing the baby over to Bucky.

Bucky looked down at the small baby in his arms. He was instantly overcome with so many different emotions. The doctor walked out of the room, while Bucky's mom watched from outside threw the window.

"Hi baby girl," he whispered, sniffling back his tears, "You're so beautiful. I'm your dad. And boy am I lucky that you chose me to be your Dad. I always imagined this day would've turned out a lot differently. But life sure knows how to throw some real curveballs."

"Your mom would've loved you," he paused, letting it all sink in. His daughter will have to grow up without a mother. No little girl should have to be without a mom.

"I'm so sorry," he cried, as the baby was lulled to sleep, "I am so sorry your mom won't be able to physically be here. I am so sorry you'll have to grow up without her. No one should have to grow up without a parent. And trust me, I know what that's like. But lucky for us, I had the greatest pleasure of being raised by the most strongest and kindest mother. She taught me everything I know. Your grandma is the best lady you will ever meet. Lucky for us because god knows we're going to be needing her a lot.

"But you and I are incredibly fortunate that we won't ever be alone. We have so many people who care about us. You'll have all the female leadership you can ever need. We can do this," he strongly said to the sleeping baby, "You and I. We can do this. And I promise you this, that no matter what happens, you will always have me. You're stuck with me for the rest of your life. My love for you is greater than anything, anyone I've ever loved. My love for you will always be easy and unconditional. You'll never have to prove your worth to me. You're worth more to me than you can ever possibly imagine. I love you."

Bucky placed a soft kiss to his daughter's forehead. The first kiss he will ever give her, but definitely not the last.

There was a soft knock at the door, he gently called for the person to come in.

His mom quietly opened and closed the door behind her, stepping to her son's side.

"She's beautiful," she smiled down at the little baby.

"She really is," Bucky beamed. He looked over at his mom and noticed she was holding a clipboard, "What's that?"

"Birth certificate," she tells him, "One of the nurses gave it to me. They said there's no rush to fill it out. You have time."

"Here, I can do that," he said gently holding the baby out for her to take.

"Are you sure?" She asked, switching with him.

"Yeah, I have a name anyways."

"What is it?" She looked over at the name written down:

Poppy James Barnes.

[flashback]

After that talk Bucky had with Natasha, he noticed a serious change in her attitude. She was beginning to be more relaxed and more selfless. Bucky felt a tiny weight lifted off his shoulder. Hoping that these changes in her personality would stay.

"So what do you think about James for a boy?" Natasha asked one night, as she and Bucky made dinner together in their small kitchen.

"For a middle name?" He asked confused.

"No, his first name."

"Oh," he paused, "I actually have never liked the idea of giving a child their parents' name. I feel like it doesn't really give them a chance to be their own person. If their parent is successful then they feel the stress of always having to live up to that. And if their parent is crap then they're forever stuck with that reminder of that person."

"That makes sense," she agreed, understanding where he was coming from,

"Then how about James for the middle name. Whether it's a boy or girl."

"I would actually really like that," he smiled at her, "I would like that a lot."

They gathered up their own plates, and sat at their small round table.

"So what other names have you come up with?" Bucky asked her as he took a bite of his chicken.

"Truthfully, I haven't found any good names. All the girls keep making suggestions and they're way too out there," she tells him, "I don't want them to have a name that's too hard to pronounce or spell."

Natasha's phone started to ring, Bucky got up to grab it for her from the living room. By the time he handed it over to her it stopped ringing.

"What kind of flower is that?" He asked her, noticing her phone's Lock Screen background.

"The California Poppy," she tells him.

"Why do you have that as your background?"

"Well my mom was actually from California," she says, "She met my Dad when they both went to Harvard. They fell in love, so she decided to stay out here on the East Coast.

"The only clear memory I have from her was all the stories she used to tell me about poppy season. How the color just made everything so lively. Her parents would take her every season. I remember seeing all the photos of her as a child surrounded by all the flowers. We looked a like as children," she fondly smiled,

"She always talked about taking me to go see them, but she and Dad were always so busy. Then she got sick and there just wasn't a way for us to go. My grandparents tried to get some out here but it was too late. I never did get to see the poppies."

Natasha was silent for a moment, letting what she said sink in. She's never told anyone that story before, the memory would always make her sad. But now sitting here with Bucky, pregnant with their child, for the first time in her life her mother's death didn't bring her such sadness. She could smile at the memory and know she had the utmost best time with her mother, even if it was short lived, she knew her mother loved her. And she can't wait to shower that love onto the baby inside of her, once they were out.

"We should go," Bucky says, "Once the baby is here we should go when it's poppy season. Plus it'd be nice seeing Steve and Liz's life out west."

"Yeah, that sounds nice," her eyes teared up, seeing how generous this man was in front of her, "I'd really love that."

"Poppy, that's cute," Winifred smiled.

"Yeah, Nat would've loved it."

"They said if you were ready, you can say your goodbyes," she carefully said.

"Okay, you're good with her?"

"Yeah. Do you want me to go with you? The nurses can watch Poppy."

"No. I'd feel much better if she was with family," he tells her, "I'll be fine mom. I can do this."

He gave her a kiss on the cheek before leaving the room.

"Take all the time you need," the nurse told Bucky, as she led him to the room Natasha's body was in.

"Thank you," he quietly said.

She opened the door for him, and he carefully stepped inside.

He walked closer to the body on the bed. He immediately started crying at the sight of her lifeless body.

"God Nat," he cried, "I am so sorry. We never even discussed the possibility of this ever happening. I never even thought of this happening. God I don't know how I am going to ever do this alone. I never imagined myself ever raising a child alone."

He takes a moment to catch his breath.

"She's beautiful Nat, so incredibly beautiful," he tells her, "I wish you would've been able to see her. Hold her. I'm going to make sure she knows everything about you. There's not going to be a day where she doesn't know about her mother."

"When poppy season arrives I'm going to make sure to take her. Every year," he wipes away a tear, "Oh, I also named her Poppy. For you. For your mom. I promise I won't let you down. She's going to have the best life ever. I'll make sure of that. Thank-you for everything you've given me. I truly did love you. Goodbye Natasha." _________________ Age: 22

Location: CA

Year: May 2016

The car comes to a stop, parking in a spot next to a bunch of other cars. Bucky, Liz, and Steve get out of the car. Steve and Liz grab a few things from the trunk, while Bucky gets the smiley baby out of the car seat. Bucky places the baby into the stroller, Steve had gotten out. The three of them began to walk towards the field of poppies.

"Wow, there's a lot this year," Liz says, "Do you want to take her out?"

"Yeah, I'll grab her," Bucky says grabbing Poppy.

He walked ahead of Liz and Steve, taking in the moment with his daughter.

"Look at all the poppies," he whispers to the almost eight month old. She had a huge smile on her face taking in the sight around her.

She was making some babbling sounds, as if to agree with her dad.

The weather was perfect. The sun shining down on them, it wasn't too hot or too cold. Bucky just stared at the flowers, with a peaceful feeling washing over him. The last few months haven't been the easiest, but he was making it. They both were making it. Being here, gave him the reassurance that he was doing good. He could feel Natasha's presence with him there. As if she was silently saying how proud she was of him.

"We're going to be fine," he said to Poppy, placing a kiss on her head.

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zuffer-weird-girl · 4 years

Text

Loss

The secretary flinched on her seat when she heard the glass door of the hospital shattering and yelped in fear when THE Overhaul slammed his fists on her desk, eyes burning with rage as he almost shouted.

"(L/n) (Y/n). Tell me where the fuck is her. NOW." she trembly nodded while picking her notebook on and the telephone.

He had received a call on the middle of a meeting, mentally rolling his eyes in irritation as he excused himself and accepted the call.

The way his eyes had widen in horror and how he stormed out of the room made everyone not only scared, but each one to have certain curiosity and worrover the situation.

What happened to let Overhaul on that state?

A doctor came by along with his nurse and Chisaki grabbed the hem of his jacket, the glare he was still wearing seemed like fire was going to spill from them by any moment while he demanded thhat he spilled out what the fuck had happened.

"S-She suffered a accident." The doctor gasped out, breathing in a long sigh of relief when the man let go "A villain fight on the center, the man accompanying her didn't survived but she is still alive." They patted their clothing, shakily looking up at the fuming man in front of them.

"The ambulance found her phone and saw it on her emergency contacts yout number. You're family or friend?"

"Mind your own business and let me in." He shoved past the doctor and abruptly entered the room, ignoring the nurses pleas for him to wait.

The sign of your bruised and beaten up image made him want to vomit... the bandaged wrapped around your head as your hair was sprawled out on the pillow you were laying on...

He felt his throat tightening as his eyes seemed to burn... slowly reaching the bed to caress your patched up face with his thumb carefully...

The only comforting sounds he heard on that cursed cold room were the beeping of the machine... indicating that you were unconscious, but alive no less.

"Get the fuck out." He muttered angrily as his hands turned into shaking fists, the doctors and nurses frowing but yet respecting his demand.

He carefully grabbed your hand on his both gloved ones as he took the seat next to you... He controlled the urge of shouting and letting his tears fall as he numbly stared at the bedsheets, his attention focused only on the beeping.

He ended up falling asleep on that place, head resting on his crossed arms on the bed.

He, for the first time, thanked the heavens for letting him have a light sleep, because he woke up with your stiring and weak groans.

Chisaki jerked up, eyes wide as his lips trembled a bit at seing his angel's eyes finally cracking open.

"(Y/n)..." he breathed, lowering his mask down when you looked at him confusedly "(Y/n)! My angel, thank god!" He, without thinking straight, wrapped his arms around you tightly as he breathed in on your scent and kissed with tears rolling down his face.

He only came to realize later that instead of feeling your arms wrapping around him or even a cute little giggle of yours, your body had tensed up under his hold...

Now it was his time to frow, grapping onto your shoulders as he parted only for a few inches.

"Angel I swear on my grave that I am not sending any garbage to accompany you anymore..." he talked, looking at your confused and quite... feared eyes.

"U-uh..." you awkwardly muttered as you slowly but firmly brought your hands to his gloved ones and took them off from your shoulder... Chisaki arching a eyebrow at your action in total dissaproval when you placed his hands to himself.

Then he widened his eyes in complete horror and disgust, hives appearing om his pale skin as his brain processed those despicable words he never once thought he would hear it from you ever again...

"Who... who are you?"

"It seems that after the impact, her brain got affected by the section where it lands the data of her memories..." the doctor spoked as him tapped his finger on his chin while analyzing your X-ray.

Chisaki didn't even dared to say a word... not even being a complete arrogant towards the man as he explained the situation of his partner.

"Her brain is still functioning and she has still her memories from her whole period of school aparently."

"... then why?" He asked in a numb tone as he stared at his closed gloved hands.

"It seems to be a rare type of amnesia ... she actually remembers all of yesterday's events for example; but due to the blow she must have received, the part where the memory about you is kept was the most affected."

"What's the cure?" He growled immediately, trying to surpress his angry shaking.

"There is no cure mister..." the doctor grunted when Chisaki grabbed the hem of his shirt.

"You as a doctor have the fucking obligation to find a cure or at least treat any diseases on this planet so you got the nerves to say that THIS doesn't have even a fucking treatment?!" He shouted, the doctor still keeping his calm attitude somehow.

"The human brain is a complicated thing... she might return her memories or not. We can't know. The maximum you can do now is try little by little to show what you were to her..." he mentally sighed in relief when Chisaki putted him down slowly "But not everthing, go slow... she might have a combustion or be too much overwhelmed."

His parted lips trembled underneath his mask as he wordless left the office...

You... didn't know him. Didn't know who he was or what he was to you...

He was a stranger. A fucking stranger to your eyes...

He dragged his feet to your room. You were already standing up and fixing up your hair on a mirror before you yelped at noticing his presence.

"Uh, hello..?" You awkwardly gretted him with a uncomfortable smile, not knowing how long he was standing there.

He nodded as in a gretting before his broken hearted eyes locked with your own. You felt pity over the man... the moment you told him you had no idea who he was he panicked, opened the door of that hospital room and shouted for the nurses to come explain this.

"...Come. I... will take you home." You tilted your head in confusion.

"I... no. Thank you for the offer but I-"

"I know where you live..." he muttered the words "I know this sounds stupid... but I am your.." he breath in to control the burning in his eyes as he looked down at the floor "Your boyfriend."

"Eh?" He wanted to chuckle so badly at hearing that precious confused sound... but the situation didn't let him "... I'm sorry. I... don't remember you..."

"They already told me. How does your house look like? Just to make sure." He tried, afraid of hearing that your answer would be that cursed apartment of yours.

"Uh... its a japanese like style house. Has a yard with beautiful trees on." You smiled, making hin want to scream in frustation.

It was his house. The Shie Hassaikai's house. You remembered the damn place but not him.

"... Come with me." He sayed nonchantly as he shived his fists onto his pockets and left the room, you following him right after.

You entered on his car and didn't speaked a word as he drove... afraid of making more weird the situation than it was already.

You recognize the place as he stopped and left the keys with a subordinate.

"Ah so you weren't trying to kidnapped me or something." You tried to joke, but that man's face didn't even twitched out of that broken shattered look as he only nodded and continued to walk.

He noticed that you didn't recognized the people on there either... being extremely awkwardly. Still, you were extremely polite with everyone of them, especially Pops.

He winced at remembering the first he brought you here... your actions being the same but instead lf just closing in yourself liek now, you found some comfort on him on the new area...

Pops patted his shoulder at seing Chisaki's huge amount of pain on his eyes while all he wanted to do was succumb onto his knees and scream until his vocal cords exploded.

You looked even more uncomfortable when he guided you to your shared bedroom. Noticing your embarrassment and... distrustful look.

"Not comfortable sleeping on the same room with a stranger." He more pointed out than asked.

"Yeaaah." You scratched the back of your neck before looking up at him "B-But i can sleep on the couch! You don't need to-"

"Is not necessary." He interrupted "You have all the rights to keep this room." He left without much of a word, only telling you that dinner was going to be soon and if you needed him, all you have to do is call.

You arched one eyebrowd of yours while watching him go away... what a weird guy.

Pops told him he wasn't obligated to do those things and even Chrono had offered to take his shift... but he refused it.

He needed to drown on his work to forget this pain and his misery.

A knock on the door had snapped him out of it as he rubbed his eyes and allowed whoever it was to enter.

"Excuse me? Am I bothering you?" You asked shyly.

"Never." He answered with a sigh "Something wrong?"

You took the opportunity to enter and sit on the chair in front of him, the awkward atmosphere still on the air.

"I... you said you're ny boyfriend. Right?" He nodded numbly "What type then? I-I mean. I want to know you... again." You found the strengh to look at those amber eyes.

Boyfriend or not, this man was hot.

"... You want the absolute true or the only love dovey shit?" You giggled at his boldness, making him for the first time smirk underneath his mask.

"Grab that black album from the shelter. I will try my best."

He couldn't help but smile at seing your curiosity as you paced through the pages, asking him the main events before you pointed out awkwardly that this was kostly you on that thing...

"I don't like taking or seing my own photos... But you always kept pressing me to at least have one or two... with those cursed puppy eyes."

"Cursed?" You asked, arching a eyebrow at seing the same elder you greeted earlier on one of those.

"Yes. Every time you use them I can't just say no."

"Ah! So you're the secret softie type!" You smiled at him whole he couldn't help but glare daggers at you.

He breathless chuckled at your gasp when he told you he was part and the leader if the yakusa and in that exact same moment you were underneath their roof.... although he almost choked up when you had noticed the pingent adoring around his neck.

The yingyang. A symbol that represented you both way too well. He cared one side while you carried the other.

You took your own in your hands and the way your eyes squinted while looking at the pingent made his early feelings return back.

Because he knew with that look of yours... you were trying hard to remember... but you couldn't. Your brain wouldn't let you have those memories back...

"Enough." He picked abruptly the album and placed it over the shelf with a sigh. You apologized and got out from his office shortly after... maybe his attitude had scared you... godammit!

He punched the wall until his gloved hand was all bloody and bruised before he let out a miserable shout.

He lost his angel... he lost your memories. His world was nothing but pure darkness now.

You giggled at seing both white haired man and the creature smaller than him arguing on the end of the hall as you passed through it.

One week had passed after your accident and now you were pretty used to with everyone on the house.

Well... almost everyone.

Chisaki was the man who revealed to be your boyfriend but now he just seemed even more broken and depressed then you saw him once on that hospital.

You tried really hard to remember him... but nothing about this man came up. You also noticed how angry he got when you called him 'Overhaul' or only 'Chisaki'...

You explained to him that calling him by his firts name was still a bit uncomfortable, he understood that and simply waved you off... but you still noticed the way he gripped or turned his hands into fits whenever you called him.

Everyone on there was trying to make you regain your memories back desperately. You even caught a taller man discussing with a muscular one on the hallway once about the situation.

"If miss (Y/N) don't recover her memories soon, master will get worse than he is already."

"You're fucking lucky Tengai. Overhaul at least didn't used his quirk on you three times in less the one hour only because you had asked how was his chick doing."

"You beg though for this Rappa."

"I WASN'T BEING FUCKING SARCASTIC THIS TIME! I WAS GENUILY ASKING!"

You choosed to not know of his quirk after you heard that in fear of what you might discover...

You made your way to the bedroom and sitted on the bed with sigh, picking your cellphone to mess with since you didn't even touched the device ever since you put your foot on here.

You frowned when the screen showed up, a picture of the man you trued so hard on remembering... he didn't seemed to have the knowledge that he was being photographed as he seemed to be reading something without his mask on for once.

His eyes were serious but calm while he readed the book, and something that made your heart twist on yiur ribcage was that you noticed that his gloved fingers were interconnected with bare ones right on the corner.

It was your hand in there.

You didn't needed to know his whole life to already know that this man had a despised for touch and was a mysophobic... but you catched plenty times him going to reach for your hand or your hair only to pull his hand back with a broken sigh and walk away frrom you as far as possible.

You had to admit that this pained you somehow.

You dropped your cellphone, not feeling like messing around on it anymore as you shivered at a cold breeze that passed through the window...

You didn't like it very much closed places so you opted to get up and grab a hoodie instead of closing the window.

Just when you opened you saw the iconic green jacket that Overhaul always used whenever he was out or when he just felt like it.

Curiosity consumed you as you caustiously picked and holded close... scenting the intoxicating smell that left you feeling like you were in heaven.

You wondered a bit before shameless wearing the coat on, way bigger than you but you felt... safe.

You took another sniff... gasping and dropping into your butt when a bright and rather painful flash came into your head as you fell.

You groaned and placed your hand on the bed as you tried to get up, wincing as another flash came by making you want to scream in pain... before you saw it.

Him. The man. Your... your boyfriend of three years!

Chisaki Kai.. Chisaki Kai! You remembered him!

"KAI!" he stopped writing on the papers when he heard your voice shouting his first name.

... it was his mind playing tricks on him. You didn't called him 'Kai' anymore.

He scoffed and went to return to writing before he dropped his pen and widened his eyes at hearing your screams again.

He got up and opened the door, stepping in on the hall way and looking at both sides.

"KAI!" You breath out, when you turned on a hallway and saw him looking at you with worried yet serious eyes.

You runned towars him withiut a care, jumped on him as he groaned at the impact with the floor, wincing at not knowing if that place was clean or not.

"Kai!" You breath out as you cupped his face on your hands as your tears fell, nuzzling on him "My life, my boyfriend, my devil! I remember! Everthing!" You cried, while Chisaki's eyes widened as his pupils trembled a bit.

He managed to at least sip up, arms now holding you with a iron grip as he still processed while you cried on his shoulder... his own relived tears falling at hearing that you called him your devil.

"(Y/N).." he breathed out in a smile underneath his mask, hugging you even closer as he buried his face on your shoulder with a shaking sigh "My angel... my precious angel you're back..!" He whisper shouted as he holded onto you tight.

He growled in disaproval when you separated before grunting when you grabbed him by the hem of his shirt after yanking his mask down to crash your lips with his... smirking when you felt him sigh on it as his hands went to your waist... straddling his lap.

"I'm so so sorry! How could I ever forget you?!" You whispered between kisses, crying a bit as he hushed you harshly while wiping your tears away with his gloved fingers, taking advantage of your mouth being open to after days taste that scent flavor of his angel he had craved for...

"You aren't the one to blame my love. Never." He said after taking a break for at least to have oxygen back to his chest, helping you up from the floor. "How I wonder? I was running out of hope already..."

"Your scent. Your cologne. When I took your jacket-"

"Ah yes. Little thief." He chuckled at your pout before you skirked devilish and snuggled even more on his coat and on him.

"It was.. like a flash. Kai..." you breathed in on his neck, tearing up at feeling him resting his chin on your head as his gloved fingers worked thorugh your hair.

"My life is so painful and so dark without you my angel... those days were like hell." He admited, subsconciously touching his bare lips on you as a kiss.

Chrono just had stepped in on the room before he quickly turned back when he saw his childhood friend cupping his lover face on his hands as he traced her face with his lips lovely... the skies even seemed to get brighter wben Overhaul's partner recuperated her memory...

#overhaul x reader #overhaul scenario #fanfic overhaul #overhaul #chisaki kai imagine scenario #kai chisaki x reader #chisaki kai x reader #kai chisaki #chisaki kai #bnha imagine #bnha x reader #bnha characters #bnha villains #bnha #my writing #zuffer writings

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softysuho · 4 years

Text

pretty boy & zombies

pairing: yunho x reader

summary: In the year 3013, the government unleashed their first wave of "natural selection". They took out elderly by offering a vaccine that was told to prevent further sicknesses and stated that it was mandatory. After the elderly were wiped from the earth, phase two was put into action. There they unleashed a monster. The government started the zombie apocalypse in hopes that the elite human race would show itself.

word count: 1.9k (a/n its been awhile and this is lowkey shit, I also can't figure out how to put "keep reading" in with the new Tumblr update, but I hope you all enjoy this drabble💖)

It was day like every other day, humid and way too hot for any sort of physical activity. The small house you sit in does little to keep the warm weather out, it was a cute place from what was left. There had been an old couple in here prior, from what you gathered. They looked cute and happy in the photos that were scattered across the walls. Most of the food leftover had gone bad, but they did have a decent amount of medical supplies.

You sighed as you thought back to your home, your parents and your little baby sister. It was hard to keep track of the days you have been without your family, four or five months maybe. Your college days were long behind you now, no more parties, no more all nighters doing homework. Everything had been taken from you.

On an average day supply run, you can still see the tall billboards, promising a better future. The face of the man who decided to play God and Mother Nature. What bullshit. You wondered if he is dead now, if the zombies got to him like they did to everyone else in the towns.

One could only hope.

As for other survivors out there, you know that there are some sharing the near city with you. One day stores could have shelves of food and the next day there seems to be half. Although you haven’t crossed paths with any. Who knows if they would be friendly.

Maybe they’d put you out of your misery.

Most days that sounded nice. To be able to join your family in the afterlife. Somedays you knew you didn’t want to die, the fear of what comes next after death chilled your bones. You certainly don’t want to feast off human guts and brains for the next eternity. What if the undead are still the people they were before? Maybe they can only watch themselves turn into a monster.

As you were running low on filling meals, left with light snacks, you decided it was best to into the deeper parts of the city. It was risky, considering it used to be the most populated, but desperate times come to desperate measures.

You grabbed your gear and your sharp machete and adjusted your makeshift armor straps before taking off. Staying low in the tree was one of the safer moves, taking the longest way into the city in hopes of avoiding hordes. The nature was a beautiful sight, the refreshing smell of pine and the distant trickling of water. Normally it'd be calming if you didn't have to fear the undead lurking.

You wondered if nature would begin to go back in time, before the greedy human fingers that destroyed their beauty. However, you wondered if there would be any animal left once the zombies come and eat them as well. One could only hope they'll be okay.

As the trees began to thin out, you could see the city that used to home to many. The streets were covered in half eaten corpses, trash from the chaos and blood. In the beginning, this sight had you emptying your stomach in a near by bush, 10 deep breaths and one 'you can do this'. These days though, it was just the normal sight you'd become accustomed to.

Normally, these trips would be to the same grocery store you've been too for the last few months. You knew these roads now, and every nook and cranny on the way there. But today was different. You were tired of looking like you just crawled out of an old ladies closet, no offense to her. So you decided to head towards one of the stores with both clothing and food. Hopefully you'd find a new blanket to take as well.

There was a light pep in your step as you made your way there, a small amount of excitement you haven't felt in a long time at the thought of some new clothes. You wondered what else there would be there besides what you need and that thought was fun to think about. So similar to what would've went through your head before the destruction of humanity.

You stuck close to the walls of the tall buildings, trying to be as quiet as you could. You couldn't afford to risk being caught now, out in the open by the dead before you even had a chance to see how bad the rest of the city really was.

What you didn't realize, though, was how lost you were in your thoughts. You inched closer to that dark alleyway you would've avoided originally, one that could hide several lurking bodies within.

It was too late by then, a large and warm hand covered your mouth as an arm wrapped itself around your torso. Alarm bells were going off in your head, slowly realizing that you had to escape before you met your doom. Tears were threatening to spill from your eyes, praying to whatever was out there to let you live for another day.

"Would you shut up? I'd rather not regret saving your ass." It was a harsh whisper against your ear, but it did its job as you calmed in the unknown (hopefully) humans arms. "You were being followed." This time the voice was soft, hand finally falling away from your mouth to pull you closer and further into the darkness.

Only then did you notice the scuffing of feet and deep voices. You could tell they weren't far, and they clearly would've seen you walking alone at some point. A thousand 'thank yous' raced through your head towards the person behind you and you could only hope they could feel how thankful you were. You turned to look towards the stranger, only seeing that is was a male who was taller than you. Or at least, thats what you assumed.

The two of you stayed within the alleyways darkness even after the group walked past and out of ear shot. You heard a breath of relief behind you, followed by a brief brush of shoulders. As the man peered out from the darkness, you saw the messy mop of black hair and a quarter of his face. Inching closer to the man, your eyes popped over his shoulder and scanned for any signs of movement. When you both deemed it safe, he motioned you with his fingers and brought you in the opposite direction of the group.

"The hell were you doing out in the open like that?" He said above a whisper. However you were shocked by the way his eyes sparkled in the sunlight, simply managing a small shrug. He rolled his eyes at you in response, "I'm Yunho.. I've been living in that upscale apartment complex a ways down for about a month, and I swear I've seen everyone who is left around here. You're new?"

You scoffed lowly and looked over your shoulder. Why was he telling you this? Did he want to take you back and murder you for supplies? "I've been living in the woods, there was a farm a little ways out and I've only stuck to the store on that side of town."

Yunho hummed, seemingly lost in thought. He didn't seemed too beat up for being out here alone, not like you at least. There were scratches on your arms from shrubbery as well as old blood from a run in with the dead. Yunho was handsome and from the glimpses of his smile, you could tell it was bright.

You had been walking side by side for awhile now, going into the town deeper than you ever had been. The building were getting taller, more expensive and grand. First floor windows were either boarded up or broken, probably either hiding or stealing. You could picture the busy streets, the high class fashion of the upper working class.

"If you've been here for a month, how come you haven't tried to make friends?" You said softly, looking up at Yunho curiously.

"I had ran into the leader about two weeks ago," He scratched his head, looking from side to side while he kept an eye out. "It was fine at first, we made small talk in one of the stores." Yunho pointed behind him and rolled his eyes, "Somewhere back there, I don't remember. We talked for awhile before one of his buddies came in and claimed he could see a bite mark.. All hell broke out after, but I snuck out the back."

You rose your brows and patted him on the shoulder. "His buddy sounds like a real winner."

When you reached the building, you were pretty amazed at the shape it was left in. There was only one window that was broken, leaving the rest of them untouched. "I don't think anyone attempted to stay here so it was pretty much abandoned." Yunho smirked to himself and took a deep breath before he opened the front doors. "After you, ma'am." He bowed and gestured for you to take a step indoors. You gaped at the interior, if you thought hard enough you could see this place lit up and running as it should. The fountain glowing as the clear water fell into each bowl, grand chandeliers brightening the room. Your face was stuck, awestruck with a small smile. You wished you could've saw everything work in action or had the opportunity to stay a night here with room service.

"Woah.." You whispered when an arm was thrown around your shoulder.

"Wanna go room hunting with me? I've only been to the first five floors." Yunho whispered back as, he too, studied the hotel lobby. Pursing your lips, you shrugged and looked up at Yunho. Studying his features for a few brief moments. He was, indeed, very handsome.

Yunho watched you from the corner of his eye, his lips twitching into a smile. As fast as he could, Yunho turned his whole head to catch you in the act. The smile turning into a giant smirk. "See something you like?" He spoke first, head cocking to the side. "It's okay, I see something I like as well." A wink was sent your way, causing a blush to cover your features.

"Shut up," You joked, side eyeing him before your elbow met his ribs. He chuckled at you and took your hand to pull you to the stairs. "Find me some nice clothes and I'll reward you with a treat." Instead of your voice giving off a confident tone, it came out small and squeaky, leading your blush to darken a tenfold.

"Oh? And what is the treat? I think I should know before doing what I'm told."

"Guess it depends on how well you do."

After several hours of searching, jokes and excitement from not expired food, Yunho was able to come up with a nice sturdy set of blue jeans, a pair of leggings, some new combat boots, three shirts and one giant ass hoodie. He looked at you with wide and innocent eyes, silently asking you for his treat.

With a long sigh, you plopped yourself down on the couch and gestured him to come closer. As soon as he was within arms reach, you gripped his shirt and pulled him down on top of you. "Y/n.. you can't have my shirt." He said with a shit eating grin.

"Just shut up and kiss me."

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b-rainlet · 4 years

Note

Just want to say I love your blog. Your TUA content is lovely and I can't say what a breath of fresh air it is to find another Luther champion. The fandoms treatment of him, istg, some of the most ludacris nonsense I've ever had to read. Especially love how you point out he's ALWAYS been so sweet and selfless when it comes to Allison and her personal happiness. Anyway I saw you say you seem confident alluther will actually happen. I sure hope so, but why do you figure? The antis are so loud.

Awwwww, thank you anon, you’re so sweet! Yeah, this blog is on 24/7 loving Luther lockdown! I feel like the antis are easing up a little bit after S2 aired because most of Luther’s scenes were used as comedic relief and the faves he was clashing with (Diego and Vanya) seem to have a better relationship with him now, so it’s not as bad anymore, but I have to admit I never ever go into the main tag so I can’t be 100% sure.

Maybe you should try looking through the ‘Luther Protection Squad’ tag to find some more like-minded people? I swear there are more of us out there!

But to come to the Alluther question:

I know that the antis are loud and I’ve noticed that most of them have counted S2 as a win for them, talking about how Allison ‘moved on’ and how Alluther won’t happen but I disagree (and I will now launch into a rambly post about why lmao).

WARNING: CONTAINS S2 SALT. PROCEED WITH CAUTION

All of this is based on the assumption though that they will be somewhat consistent in their writing regarding Alluther and S2 taught me that that isn’t very likely, so maybe I’m completely wrong and Alluther will never ever be mentioned in S3, but based on what happened so far, I could see them as an endgame couple.

I mean in S1 they were a pretty big plot point so I don’t think I have to say anything about that but even though the Alluther scenes have been toned down in S2 they were there.

Let’s see what antis would say about why Alluther won’t happen:

Allison is married

And? Allison has been married before and still mentioned comparing every man she ever loved/dated to Luther. Allison has been married and she has had a kid with another guy and still Alluther was going strong.

Not to mention that the end of this season has made it very clear we won’t see Raymond again.

Raymond (and Sissy) are temporary love interests for this particular season and both of them cannot leave their timeline without majorly fucking things up - at least according to Five, but the whole timetravel rules can change at the drop of a hat - but more importantly, both of them had a talk with their respective lovers about wanting to stay in their timeline.

So unless Allison will return to the 60s (which doesn’t seem likely tbh), Raymond is gone for good.

Raymond was her true love tho! Like Klave!

I don’t think antis actually word it like this but I’ve noticed how all of them hopped onto the Almond train immediately and keep gushing about how good and cute they are and that’s great! You can ship what you wanna ship! But I think a lot of the love for this ship has to do with how it prevents Alluther from happening. If Allison is deeply in love with this wholesome man, she can’t ever like her brother.

But tbh….I didn’t buy Almond. For two people who are happily married they crumble and burn awfully fast.

And tbh, I was thinking about making a post about this so I’m gonna add this rant here but I just wanna preface this with the fact that I don’t hate them and I don’t hate people who ship them, I’m just….using this opportunity to poke some hole into their relationship.

I think it would’ve been more believable if Raymond and Allison would be in the early stages of dating while all of S2 goes down. Think about it.

They are married? After one year? I mean, as far as I know, Allison has been in the 60s for about two years - since Luther was the first one who arrived and he spent 3 years there??? But I am not fact-checking this, so correct me if I’m wrong - so she had time to get used to being there, adjust to having no voice, meet Raymond, fall in love with him and get married to him.

And considering she could already talk again it must’ve have been a while before she started talking to/dating Raymond? I don’t think a wound like that wouldn’t take a while to heal but with this show’s consistency, maybe it did.

I was actually hoping Allison would stay mute for a while longer but alas

So, they got married pretty fast imo, and you could argue that it’s the 60s but

Allison isn’t from the 60s

Allison just got out of a bad marriage. There’s like, a year?? maybe?? between her first marriage and her second one and tbh, I don’t think Allison would get married again so fast, tying herself to someone again almost immediately, especially if you consider what getting married in the 60s means for a woman and her personal freedom (it’s hinted at with Sissy but not with Allison and even though Raymond was probably a good husband who let her have her freedom and her say in things - as we can see with their movement - it’s still the 60s. Women couldn’t earn their own money. They couldn’t even spend any money without having to ask their husband. They were basically property of their husband and I can’t believe Allison would immediately jump back into being married, no matter how nice and good the guy is).

“That just means it’s true love! That’s why their marriage may seem rushed!”

Yeah true love. I also keep secrets from my true love.

I mean, I understand that Allison couldn’t start talking about time travel or Raymond would’ve started thinking she’s crazy or something - and maybe would’ve sent her to a mental institution as is his right as a husband, so good idea getting married! - but she didn’t mention stuff like “I had a child.” or “I lost my family.” either and those are vague enough to not raise questions.

I mean, she could’ve lied! She could’ve said Claire is dead, which considering the apocalypse was what they were escaping is true!

She could’ve talked about how she had a family, but they kinda lost each other - maybe talking about how they all moved away and she doesn’t know where they are now, even though she misses them terribly.

I mean, I simply can’t believe that she had to grief for her own child all on her own and she didn’t even tell her husband (and she couldn’t even properly be sad about it since Raymond and her lived together, so she probably didn’t have many moments where she could think about the future and the things she lost without the possibility of being walked in on).

And how much it would’ve meant if there would’ve been a scene of her crying over Claire when she thinks she’s alone, but alas.

Then there’s also the whole added drama to their relationship. Which was btw, so unnecessary.

@showwriters: Why do you establish a relationship you obviously want to be viewed as full of love and instead of letting it be the steady rock the character can lean on during all the already ongoing chaos, you add drama to it and let it fall apart as a side plot which immensely suffers from not being shown/explored enough.

I mean, we already have relationship drama with Vanya/Sissy and that relationship feels more natural because their obstacles are outside forces and not...one of them distrusting the other.

You know, I get why Raymond is suspicious, I totally do! I just don’t think it makes the relationship believable.

Once again, if they would’ve been in the early stages of dating and suddenly Allison’s weird brothers appear and she seems to be in cahoots with the cops, I would also think ‘???’ and it would’ve made perfect sense for Raymond to be confused and distrustful and not want to talk to Allison.

But they’re married. They’re married and they vowed to love each other in sickness and in health and yet Raymond immediately jumps to ‘Allison is a spy’.

The woman you love enough to marry. That’s your first thought. Okay.

(And if you wanna compare that to Vissy...Vanya suddenly drives off in the night to meet her family and disappears for a while and she apparently did something to Harlan and now he’s behaving weirdly and has powers….and she’s talking about taking Sissy and him to the future…..and yet….Sissy trusted Vanya).

And tbh, I was done with their whole relationship the moment Allison spent the whole night calling every single hospital, trying to find out whether her husband was in one of them - was even alive - in tears and close to breaking down because the last time she saw him they were both involved in a riot and the possibility of him being in jail or hurt is very high only to find out…..

…..he had a meeting with their group without telling her because he doesn’t trust her.

And what? He couldn’t have called her to at least tell her he’s okay and he’s gonna stay somewhere else overnight because shady shit did just go down that they need to discuss but he wants to be alone for now? That’s the bare minimum and yet he doesn’t do that. He doesn’t even call to make sure she is okay since running away doesn’t mean she couldn’t have accidentally been dragged into a brawl and hurt.

Once again: They are married.

So tbh, all I got from this relationship is the feeling that Allison simply didn’t wanna be alone in this new timeline and that isn’t an explicit point against Alluther.

Okay, but….Allison moved on! So she still won’t get with Luther!

Did she? Did she really? I don’t think so. I mean, one of the first things we get from Allison aside from ‘She’s married’ is ‘She looks at the moon so often, her husband notices and gets her a book related to that’.

That’s one of the most blatant ways they could’ve said: ‘She misses Luther.’

And Luther only. Not the whole family, Luther. If they wanted to somehow make this platonic or familial, they wouldn’t have taken the character she is canonly interested in romantically (which she is and has been since S1, no matter what antis say).

I mean, if they only wanted to show ‘She misses her family’ they could’ve added a scene where she listens to the kid next door playing the violin or sees a boy in schoolboy shorts or maybe mistakes someone for Diego or whatever, endless possibilities. But they didn’t.

They made it very clear she misses Luther and I don’t think she had a scene that shows her missing any of her other siblings in such a way (which is btw paralleled by the scene where Luther mistakes someone for Allison, which is also the only scene where he’s shown thinking about one of his siblings to the point he thinks he sees them - as far as I remember).

But that’s probably only a coincidence, right?

Then there’s them meeting for the first time. I mean, they hug and the rest of the world disappears.

They took the time to shoot/cut this scene in a way that, when Allison and Luther hug after years of not seeing each other, everyone else isn’t in the shot anymore and it’s just them. Because they tried to make this as platonic as possible.

(In comparison, Allison and Diego don’t even hug. And Klaus and Allison do hug and it’s a happy moment but there is no romantic music and it’s more focused on them being happy to see each other and not framed as a romantic scene. I mean, I have no clue regarding things like ‘motifs’ and ‘scenery’ but just watch those two hug scenes back to back and you know what I mean).

Then the scene proceeds and they talk and sit down and Luther mentions her marriage and Allison tries to apologize.

Just think about that. She doesn’t outright apologize but she does try to explain why she got married by saying how hard it was and is only stopped by Luther telling her he’s glad she wasn’t alone.

How….how can you read that as a platonic convo between brother and sister? Just replace Luther with Klaus. Why would she feel the need to explain herself and seems guilty about being married? Is it because it implies she gave up on finding her family? If so, that would be her reaction with every sibling but she is explicitly like this with Luther. She tells Klaus she’s married too, and in that scene it’s definitely a ‘siblings catching up’ moment and it’s a happy moment and she doesn’t seem apologetic about being married.

She is with Luther.

Because they both know that there’s something between them and has been for a long time, to the point that Allison is visibly jealous when Luther has other relationships (his one-night-stand in S1) and this is the second time Allison has turned towards another man instead of waiting for Luther. And that’s why she tries to apologize. That’s why she tries to explain that she couldn’t know whether they - whether Luther - would ever show up, so she tried her best to move on - but she didn’t really, hence the moon scene.

(This is also the scene where Luther could’ve been angry with her - and she probably would’ve thought he’s in the right - since during the days leading up to the apocalypse it seemed like they were slowly working towards being together - even if the kiss never happened, there’s still the phone booth scene which is basically Luther confessing his feelings - and now she once again leaves him standing alone, waiting for her to possibly return to him.

But he isn’t, he just tells her he’s glad that she wasn’t alone. Because he is the actual embodiment of a gentleman and this world doesn’t deserve him).

And this is just what I remember from watching the season once and then not really engaging with it, I can’t understand how antis can see those scenes and come to entirely different conclusions. But I guess, you really only see what you wanna see, huh?

But, but…...Incest is disguting! Even their siblings think so!

They don’t. They really don’t. There’s a gifset on tumblr somewhere compiling the scenes in S1 that show how chill the sibs are with Alluther, but let’s disregard those and just focus on S2 since they changed up a lot from the prior season and antis seem to think S2 was them finally saying ‘No Alluther’.

I guess there’s the hair salon scene where Vanya, Klaus and Allison talk about relationships and Klaus lightly teases Allison for liking Luther.

Now, he mentions Allison crushing on their brother in the same sentence where he talks about Vanya and her ‘Farmfrau’ and unless I missed it, he doesn’t change his voice. He doesn’t suddenly sound completely disgusted, or like he wants to vomit or whatever people think, so either, he thinks Vissy is as ‘disgusting’ as Alluther, or, he thinks both are simply relationships his sibs are interested in pursuing and he teases them about them like a sibling may do.

And then you have Allison’s reaction.

She doesn’t go: ‘Oh yeah, that was gross, what was I thinking’, she doesn’t make a face or disgusted noises or what, no, she tries to defend herself and her feelings.

Which tells us:

Despite popular belief to disregard Allison’s say in the Alluther relationship, she wants the relationship and she is obvious enough about it their siblings know (and Klaus makes it a point to say ‘Allison is into Luther’ and not ‘Luther likes Allison and Allison tolerates it).

Alluther is brought up while they talk about current relationships, implying Allison still feels this way (especially because the way she reacts doesn’t make it seem like it’s a long over relationship with no longer relevant feelings. But again, I watched the season once and I don’t remember everything that was said. I think this is telling enough though).

So..tell me again how everyone thinks Alluther is disgusting?

By now anon is thinking: ‘What is the point of all this rambling?’

And yeah, I am sorry for going way too into detail but I just wanted to make it clear that if the writers were intend on killing Alluther off in S2 - like antis believe - then everything I just mentioned wouldn’t have happened.

(And that’s without even mentioning the cpr scene).

Alluther did get reduced but it didn’t vanish even though they decided to completely erase other things (like Claire and Eudora who are barely or not at all mentioned or things like Kliego being very close).

This would’ve been the best opportunity! They re-meet in the 60s and Allison is happily married and takes the time to tell Luther he should move on. Or both are single and Luther tries to ask where they’re standing and whether she would like to try with him and she goes ‘This would be a mistake’ and that’s it.

(I am making Allison the one who ends things because it would be ooc for Luther to just end the possible relationship after waiting for Allison for years and there needs to be some consistency even in the mess that was S2).

But! This didn’t happen!

Alluther is more or less back where it was in S1. Allison isn’t in a relationship anymore and won’t get back with the guy and Luther loves her no matter what. And the cheek kiss seems to leave them both on a hopeful note of finally getting together.

So unless they use S3 to once again redo the show, it feels like Alluther is set up to be endgame. Like, I am getting ‘star-crossed lovers’ vibes where you’re just waiting for them to finally get together - because they just belong - but things keep getting in the way.

You could compare it Diego/Lila in that regard, I think it’s pretty obvious those two are gonna end up together too.

I have another ask about how they could get together, where I will definitely ramble more, but this shall be it for now. I hope it was halfway consistent. (And doesn’t have too many typos, I’m too lazy to check).

Also the formatting is shit but idc, I spent like two hours on this

#Alluther #tua s2 spoilers #anti tua s2 #Long post

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theprojectava · 5 years

Text

The Silent War

Sooo...remember the last post s8 fix-it post I made? I wrote a little something for it (I’ll upload it on ao3, too, but I still have to make an account there).

It’s not beta read and I suck at writing stuff in English since it’s not my mother tongue. Please bear with me. :)

(Fic’s under the cut)

Our room is dark, the blinds are shut tight

And everything is still too much outside

When he left it hurt like hell. It felt like Shiro had finally run out of time. He should've said something sooner.

There had always been tomorrow, another time, next week, after this mission,when this meeting's over, promise, I'll tell him then!

The war had finally, officially ended. But not for them. The universe was in disarray – all the Galra Empire had left in its wake were ruins and ashes of whole worlds burnt to nothing. The war had never stopped and so their duties as Paladins and diplomats of planet Earth continued to tear them apart. Silently. For no one to see. Not even Shiro.

He only felt the sensation of something finally ripping, when it was too late. Keith was gone. By the time they noticed, he was already on the other end of the known universe, fighting off war criminals and rebuilding what was left of civilizations that had taken the brunt of the Empire's wrath over thousands of years. Somebody had to do it, Shiro told himself again and again. And of course it had to be Keith. This was what he was born for. The stars. If he was completely honest with himself he had always known that the younger man was never meant to stay on the ground with both his feet. The moment he had seen him so many years ago, he had known. Keith was meant to fly and reach for the stars or go crashing down with them.

But it still hurt so much. Because in spite of knowing that this day would come, he still wasn't prepared to let him go. He wasn't prepared to lose the man that meant everything to him.

Maybe it had taken him too long to realize what Keith really meant to him. That he couldn't live without him by his side. There had always been tomorrow, another time, next week... The possibility that there would be a tomorrow without Keith by his side seemed so impossible after all they went through. But maybe that's what went wrong in the end. Shiro had taken Keith for granted – a constant in his life that would always be there, no matter what. And now it was too late.

It may be over but not tonight

I may be older but I still cry

I can't stop sleeping in your clothes

You can't stop calling on the phone

Keith never reacted to any of his text messages. Whether it was because he was busy... or for a whole different reason Shiro didn't even want to think of, he didn't know. Silence was all there was between them now. With every unanswered message the hurt sunk deeper into his heart. It festered there and turned into bitterness with every passing month. He felt hollow inside. As Admiral and part of the Terran Delegation there was quite enough work on his hands to keep him busy for most of the day. But every time he'd come back home to a dark apartment and cold sheets he felt like sinking deeper into an all consuming emptiness. He should've given up trying to contact Keith by now. He knew that. In fact he should've stopped thinking about the other man every waking hour. The only problem was... he didn't know how. It was all he'd ever done.

Can't you see I'm in recovery?

Just let it be, I'm in recovery

I'm holding on, I know I'm almost there

Storm reach out and tell me that you care

It stung like a knife to the chest when he found out that he seemed to be the only one who hadn't heard of Keith for almost a year. He'd met up with Pidge at one point, visited Lance and Allura on New Altea merely two months ago. He'd even made it to congratulate Hunk on his family's new house in person... The only one who hadn't seen him ever since he left... was Shiro.

Later he'd wonder if that had been the last straw. If that was what finally broke him. When he found out Keith was back on earth for a few days without telling him, he snapped. He packed all his stuff and left his office like a raging storm. He knew he shouldn't corner Keith like that. He knew deep down, that it was wrong. Patience yields focus, remember? But he didn't care for one second. His whole body felt numb, yet at the same time so full of cold anger. He needed answers. Nobody stopped him when he mounted one of the hoverbikes and sped off into the desert. He knew exactly where to find Keith.

When he reached the shack he knew Keith was there, even before he saw the younger man's pale face in the door frame. He was hurting them. Both of them and Shiro knew. But there was no turning back from this conversation now. There was no way this could go on for any longer. Shiro already felt like crumbling to pieces, he couldn't stand the silence anymore. At this point he really believed that he couldn't hurt much more. He'd been through torture and war. He'd survived the pits. He'd survived experimentation and losing his arm. He died and came back... But there was no way he could withstand this.

The moment they started talking Shiro could already tell Keith was closing in on himself, building up walls even he couldn't tear down anymore. The telltale twitching of his hands, the way his shoulders hunched... Keith was unreadable to most people. Anyone else would've thought of him as indifferent to what was going on. Shiro, on the other hand, knew what to look for. He could read Keith like a book. And that's where the fighting began.

Being shut out felt like a slap in the face. It burnt right down to his very core.

“It's better this way”, Keith told him. “I'm sorry...”

They screamed at each other. They cried. Two thrashing animals caught in a trap, neither of them ready to go down. Ultimately, it was all in vain. Keith had made his decision, for reasons unknown. He'd take this secret to the grave if he had to. Shiro would never know what drove the former Red Paladin away from him. But his choice was final.

Tears burnt in his eyes, when he turned to leave. He never wanted to do this... But the words bubbled up unbidden, nonetheless.

“Fine... If that's what you want. I won't stop you”, he looked back at Keith and saw the exact moment the words registered and hit home. “But don't expect me to be there when you decide to come back one day.”

That day he had hurt Keith in a way, he'd never forgive himself for. There was no going back from this. The damage had been done. He left without looking back, not expecting Keith to reach out and keep him from leaving. He never did, anyway.

I'm finally sober, I see the light

The worst is over, nobody died

I'm still trying to let you go

Oh baby, please, leave me alone

A brand new war began. One that Shiro wasn't sure he'd survive – a silent war. No one else could see it, but they could feel it. There was tension wherever Shiro went, hanging in the air around him like thick rain clouds. None of his friends dared saying anything – they all knew. They had to know. Because Keith never showed up to any of their anniversaries on New Altea, again. It was a silent war and this... this was Keith's way of opening fire. Shiro embraced it. Swallowed it. And then cried it out into the darkness of his empty bedroom, when no one else would hear.

Can't you see I'm in recovery?

Just let it be, I'm in recovery

I know you wanna say you're sorry

But I don't wanna hear that story

Days bled into weeks, weeks bled into months. His heartache wouldn't fade. Shiro's chest had become an open wound refusing to heal. When was the last time he had laughed? He didn't know. All he did these days was work himself into the ground, working overtime for hours on end until he was either too tired to think or fell asleep in his office. That was until he fainted during a meeting. There's only so much sleep deprivation a human-Galra-hybrid clone body can endure.

When he came to himself again there was a man hovering over him. He remembered him from the Atlas. One of the bridge staff. What was his name again? Carl? Curtis? Curtis.

“Are you alright, Sir?”, he asked.

It's weird... how things change so fast.

Turned out Curtis was what Shiro needed. For the moment. Talking to him was easy... kissing him was easier. Easy was good for now.

They moved in together after dating for a few months. Shiro proposed after another two or three. Of course Curtis said yes. Everything was easy with him. So why did Shiro feel like he was drowning? Sending the invitations to their wedding earned him a few rounds of interrogation from his friends, especially Allura and Pidge. They'd picked up on what had occurred between him and Keith – mainly because Keith had quite regular meetings with Allura and Lance on New Altea, since he became a senior member of the Blades... At least that's what Shiro heard. Both of them knew how much Shiro was hurting, but all they could do was give him sympathetic glances. They knew why Keith did what he did. That maybe protecting his own poor heart from potential hurt was what led to them silently tearing each other apart. It hurt to watch.

Of course they sent an invitation to Daibazaal, too. Since none of them knew Keith's current location, they'd chosen to send it to Krolia instead, knowing Keith would get it, sooner or later. That was Shiro's counterblow in this cold war between them.

Always thought you'd be the one

Who always needed me

My home, you'd be my home

After the wedding, the silence only grew. As did the emptiness in Shiro's life. His marriage lasted for a whole 2 years. The time it took them to get divorced included. There were no “I told you so”s from his friends – only support and a lot of hugs. Shiro didn't know what was worse. Because he himself had known this relationship was meant to crash and burn the moment he had proposed. Maybe before.

He felt terrible. Throwing his own heart in the line of fire because he couldn't let go of someone who clearly didn't want him was one thing... Pulling Curtis into this and putting his heart on the line as well, was a whole different thing. Has he always been such a terrible human being? Could this be the reason why Keith left? Because he'd seen how Shiro hurts the people around him on purpose? There was no way of knowing now. Keith was long gone... and yet, he was still everything Shiro ever knew.

Suddenly, your memory

In time is like an enemy, so cold

Five years. It had been five years since the last time they saw each other. Back in Keith's shack. Shiro's last words still rang in his ears, loud and clear. It had taken him a year or so, until he realized he'd used the same words Adam had thrown at him, before he'd left for the Kerberos mission. It felt like a lifetime ago. Another thing in a long line of things he regretted voicing or not voicing in front of Keith. It seemed like he never told Keith the most important things. But if he did tell him anything, only the wrong things came out. Things he never wanted anyone to hear. Unfair things.

The universe, as Shiro had known it, was in shambles.

A soft ping was all it took to tilt the universe back into the right direction. It was 3:00 am. An unusual time to get notifications nowadays. Shiro had stepped back from a few positions in the past year, slowly letting others take the reins. It was time for him to go back and teach at the Garrison... Or maybe... Maybe one day he'd see the stars again. He could hear them calling already.

Another ping and he was fully awake. With half lidded eyes a grabbed his phone. The bright orange light was nearly blinding in the darkness of his bedroom. He took one look at the display and nearly dropped the device into his own face. Wha-... Was he dreaming?!

There were two messages glaring back at him, taunting him. This had to be a dream. It had to.

Keith (03:02):

Dear Shiro.... I know I fucked up royally. Fuck, I'm not good at this. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. It's been a while..... But can we maybe talk?

Keith (03:03):

I understand if you don't want to. I'll leave you alone if you don't want to see me. But I... I can't do this any longer.

Shiro's heartbeat was deafening. Blood rushed in his ears. He had to pinch himself to make sure this wasn't another cruel dream.

This was happening. This was really happening. It had been five years. Five years of silence.

His fingers moved before he could even register what was happening and pressed “send”.

Shiro (03:05):

Don't be. We both did a lot of fucking up. We can talk whenever you want.

It took about ten minutes and Shiro was ready to dose off again, when his phone went off. It wasn't a text message this time. But a video call.

“Hey.”

A single word. It only took a single word... His voice was tinny and rougher than he remembered. His hair had gotten longer. Long enough to be braided actually. There was an edge to his face that hadn't been there when Shiro last saw him. But it was Keith. Sweet, beautiful Keith.

“Hey”, Shiro replied, his voice raspy and thick with emotions.

They talked. They actually talked. At 3:00 am. Not about what happened between them, not about the reason why Keith left, not about Shiro's marriage or divorce. But they talked about small things, like Keith's latest mission or that annoying woman from the canteen who didn't get the message Shiro was into men. But who could blame her? Ever since Curtis Shiro had never tried dating again.

When they finally hung up it was with the promise of meeting up when Keith got back to earth next month. It was almost 5:00 am. Neither him nor Keith had said it out loud, but it hung between them, so thick it was almost palpable.

“I miss you.”

Can't you see I'm in recovery?

Meeting Keith after all this time was like finally, finally putting the shards of his universe back together. Like finally laying their weapons down and calling off the war they had started on that fateful day in the shack.

It was awkward at first... until it wasn't.

One touch, a simple hand on a shoulder kind of touch, was all it took to open the gates to a flood. There were tears. Lots of tears. Tears of joy and sorrow, of forgiveness and apology. Years worth of silence were shattered by a flood of words. Once they started they couldn't stop. Hugging each other and holding on tight, never wanting to let go ever again.

“I'm so sorry”, whispered Keith in between ugly sobs. “I'm so, so sorry. I thought-... I thought-”

“Shhh”, Shiro tried to calm him, tightening his hold on Keith. But the younger man wasn't having it.

“No-... No, you have to hear this.”

He leaned back a little until he could look into Shiro's eyes. His eyes were red and still full of unshed tears.

“I'm sorry I ran”, Keith tried again. This time his voice was steadier. “I didn't know what to do. I thought... After the war you... You deserved better.”

“Better?”, Shiro frowned. “Better than what?”

“Me.”

At that moment it felt like Shiro's heart would burst out of his chest.

Before he could say anything Keith continued: “I... I thought after all you've been through, you deserved a life far away from war and fights and-... I knew I couldn't give you this.”

Another sob rocked Keith's lean body. He'd bulked up a little over the past few years, but he still felt so small and fragile in Shiro's arms.

“I never wanted to hurt you. But... I was afraid... Of hurting myself.”

There was a moment of silence. But a different kind of silence – a pleasant one. Finally, finally Shiro understood.

“You were trying to protect your heart”, he whispered.

Keith's eyes went wide for a second. But he nodded nonetheless. There was nothing left for him to lose. He'd lived five years without Shiro by his side... He'd been through hell already. All because he couldn't just tell Shiro how he felt.

“Well”, the corners of Shiro's mouth turned up into a soft smile. “there's no need to. Never was.”

Again Keith's eyes went wide, his brows rising almost comically high. Slowly, to give him enough time to pull back if that wasn't what he wanted, Shiro leaned down, until their lips were almost touching.

“I never told you this. I never found the right moment... and then you were gone”, with every word their lips brushed against each other. Keith closed his eyes. “Maybe I can tell you now.”

And with that he closed the distance between them.

Kissing Keith was everything he ever imagined it would be... and still so much more. The soft, warm feeling of his lips, the slow drag of his tongue against Shiro's bottom lip were intoxicating. He was done for. He knew that the moment he had to lean back and take a breath. He already missed the warmth of Keith's lips on his.

“I love you.”

The confession left his lips and he couldn't stop. “I love you. I love you. I love you.”

Tears filled the younger man's eyes again.

“I love you, too.”

For the first time in years it felt like there was a silver lining at the horizon.

They could to this. They could make this right. It had taken them five years, but finally, finally the universe seemed whole again.

The war of silence was finally over.

Song: “Recovery” by LP

#sheith #voltron #voltron legendary defender #shiro voltron #keith voltron #takashi shirogane #keith kogane #fix it fic #this is how i cope with the s8 ending #i suck at writing i'm sorry #vld #alternate ending #alternate universe #vld au #shiro loves you baby #i did a thing #gays in space #hell yes

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bittermarrow · 5 years

Text

Break the Chain // (Thomas Hewitt x Reader)

A/n: Why do I write angst? It is so painfullll, yet so good and I’m indecisive and like torturing myself. Also, this takes place after Thomas gets his arm chopped off and chases after Erin.

Warnings: Graphic Gore/Blood, Angst, lots of feelings.

Words: 2200+

. . .

Your entire body burns with a distinct kind of pain, your throat raw and pumping large gulps of air through your lungs despite the discomfort that doing so inflicts. You can feel warm gushes of blood dripping down your chest from the fresh gash streaking across your sternum. Your nose feels clogged yet somehow still oozing a thin stream of crimson, your cracked and peeling split bottom lip is covered in the blood leaking from your nose.

Your chest aches and stings with boiling hot shots of irregular pain, the more you move the stronger your agony becomes. But still, you keep moving, the heavy downpour of a rare nightly rain leaves your clothes and hair soaked. You are jogging down the muddy road, your flimsy sandals slipping and squealing as the wet bottoms of your heel slide over the sole. You can feel the start blades of damp grass sticking to your feet and the dirty splashes of murky puddles against your ankles.

Your chunky dog collar chafes against your neck and the heavy, snapped chain jingles and sways with your movements. You can barely see much with how dark it is, but the length of the road acts as your guide. You’re wheezing so hard it sounds like you'll collapse any minute, but you know better. You weren't going to rest until you found him.

You were feeling a lot of things that confused you right now. You were angry, no, fuming that Thomas had run off after that girl, Erin, risking his health to catch her, to protect his family. You felt an unsettling amount of relief being able to finally run again, without being chained down like a dog. You felt guilty that you had run, without even telling the others that you were going after Thomas, leaving them to probably think you’d tried to escape. But most of all, you were terrified beyond belief.

All that blood, the sight of the dismembered arm of your most trusted person and all the vermillion smears over the lockers sending you into a panic. You were scared for Thomas’s sake, you knew he wouldn't stop his chase until he’s either caught the woman who hurt his family or killed himself trying. His family’s safety meant way too much to him for him to give up, but you couldn't just let him die out there. There was a chance that he was already… no, no he’s alive! He has to be alive, he’s stronger than that, you have to remind yourself, but it does little to comfort you.

You almost stop breathing and trip over your own feet when you hear the faint sound of a purring motor, you run even faster when you recognize it to be a chainsaw. You look further down the road but it's hard to see anything. You can feel your knees about ready to give out, but you ignore the burning pain. You almost sob in relief when you spot Thomas a few meters down. You slid to a stop and drop to your hands and knees to crawl over to his shaking form.

You finally reach him and use what's left of your strength to turn him over, so he isn't lying face down. You can't tell if Thomas is unconscious or just out of it, and when you can't force out his name through your chattering teeth you drop yourself against him. You press your cheek to his chest and listen for a heartbeat, your other hand scrambles of one of his— his only hand. And your fingers fumble over his wrist to search for a pulse.

He’s still breathing, but his pulse feels very irregular. Like he’s fighting for his life, literally. Either that or he’s fading in and out of consciousness, you can only hope it’s the latter. You startle just a bit when you feel his soaking wet arm drop around your back. It almost feels like it’s gone dead weight. You lift your head up from his chest and look up to his face, looking for any signs of consciousness or awareness.

You can just slightly make out the fluttering of his eyelids through the shadows of his mask and the darkness of night and rain. He suddenly looks you dead in the eyes, but only for a moment before he’s squeezing them shut. You can practically sense your own perturbation rising over the edge of the teacup holding in all of your emotions, ready to spill.

You can feel Thomas’s arm squeezing around you, and his fingers are twisting in the back of your heavy shirt. You don’t realize that his intent was to somehow shield you from the rain, and if he had gathered up enough strength to do it, you wouldn’t have been able to keep from sobbing. Thomas would do anything to keep you safe, even from rain that could potentially make you sick, even as he’s bleeding out on the road. In a way it’s almost a good thing he started to flicker in and out of alertness again.

You take in a deep breath and look over to what's left of his right arm, it’s but chopped off straight through the bone. You scramble around for something to wrap around his wound before he bleeds out, he’s already lost so much. You yank the damp sweatshirt off of your waist and pushed his good arm off of you.

You moved to his other side and hovered a trembling hand over the marred display of gore that was left of Thomas’s arm, some of the skin only hanging by mere strings on the exposed, clipped bone. Your fingertips hesitated when you lowered your hand to the stub of meaty tore-up flesh, and then gently lifted the damaged limb into your lap, trying your very best not to press too hard on it. You wrung out your soaking wet sweatshirt the best you could before hastily wrapping up his arm in it. The moment you applied pressure and began tying the sleeves together as a makeshift bandage Thomas started thrashing.

The sudden shot of pain must have shaken him back into consciousness, and you hold his arm down to the best of your ability, trying desperately to tie the damn knot so you could stop causing him so much agony. Once you had it tight enough to slow the bleeding, you let him jerk his arm away and hiss and moan to himself. He looked completely out of it. Like he was in too much crippling pain to even register that you existed. That wasn’t a good sign. You’d read about how the more blood the human body loses, the more delusional and susceptible to extreme side effects they become.

You are reminded of the roaring chainsaw a good ten feet away from where you kneel beside your lover, half of the saw is in a deep, murky puddle of muck drowning the motorized sound to be distorted into an unpleasant gurgling. You were about to lift yourself up from the street and go to switch it off, but in that same moment, Thomas starts shifting around and making louder, more clear whines. His wrapped arm is trembling on the slick dirt road like it was full of tremoring nerves that jerked and throbbed.

You crawl over so you are behind him and gingerly raise his heavy head up and place it over your lap, noting the streaks of blood beneath his skull. He must’ve hit his head pretty hard on the way down. You start to panic all of a sudden, all of your emotions melding into one big ball of dread and terror as you began to pant. Your heart is pounding in your chest almost painfully vigorously. This was not the time to have an anxiety attack! You supposed this whole situation could be described as your biggest fear, but the more you panic the harder it will be to keep a level head and fix all of this. You needed to help Thomas first, he came first.

You gulp down those feelings like you had done so many times before, putting them on hold for a more important call. You shakily attempt to speak to him, to see if you could get any other verbal responses. You don’t even try to even out the tremors in your throat.

“Thomas, Baby, can you hear me? Please, I can’t—” You broke off into a choked sob, your hot tears mixing with the chilly, fat drops of rain. You cradled his head in your hands and hunched over him just slightly before turning to one side as your emotional turmoil started to leak through the cracks. “To-Tommy? Tommy, please. I’m so scared, I-I’m so sorry, please stay with me. I can’t— not now. Ch-Charlie’s comin’ Don’t worry… don’t worry.”

It wasn’t quite clear who you were truly trying to comfort. You didn't even know if Hoyt was coming, you only hoped that he was. You once again curse yourself for not saying something before you left. You knew you couldn't drag Thomas back to the house by yourself, you didn't know if he could walk if he would make it, you didn't even know if you’d make it! You noticed Thomas was shaking, oh what more could go wrong!? If the blood loss doesn't kill him first, hypothermia will!

You tried to keep Thomas calm when he started to squirm, most likely from the searing pain he was experiencing. You hushed and cooed at him, cradling his head close to your stomach. You bent forward to stop him from touching his other arm, begging him to stay still for just a bit longer. You felt almost guilty for pleading with him to stay awake, but you knew you had to at least try to keep him conscious as long as possible.

The persistent deluge didn't relent in the slightest as five, six, and seven minutes passed by. Finally, you saw headlights approaching, the distinct pure of a truck growing closer and closer. You almost cried out in relief when you recognized whose truck it was, once it was close enough you wave to it to bring the driver’s attention to yourself.

It slowed to and pulled over, without a doubt, Hoyt and Luda Mae hopped out of the truck and rushed over to you. They both looked almost shocked to see you and only hesitated for a moment before they were fussing over Thomas. Luda was already yelling, starting to cry upon seeing her special boy in such a state.

“My boy! What have they done to my boy?!” You were quickly shoved away from Thomas, and as much as you loathed being apart from him and were on the verge of a severe emotional breakdown, you gave Luda some space to grieve and shout over her son. Charlie was a bit of a mess, you'd never seen the man so worried it, and yet so lost. Charlie always knew what to do, but right now… he looked like even he didn’t know how to fix this.

Fortunately, the posing sheriff was quick to get his head back in the right place and got his gears turning.

“C’mon, Mama, help me get ‘em in the truck!” Charlie shouted over the loud downpour, finally taking charge of the situation like he always did. You quickly rushed to help them maneuver a dazed Thomas into the backseat, the hulking man is trying his very best to stumble and walk with the aid of his family, and once he is in the back everyone else is jumping into the vehicle too.

You slide into the backseat with your injured giant, letting him lie his head in your lap and whispering calming things to him as Charlie sped way over the limit back to the Hewitt residence. There was no way they could take him to a hospital with their soon-to-be criminal record, and there was no telling if he’d make the entire long ride there anyway. So he’d have to be taken care of here, you know a bit about first aid from a bunch of medical classes you took way back in high school when you had planned to be a nurse. But you weren’t a surgeon, not even a nurse.

You just hoped to whatever god, ancestor, or force that existed that you could save him. You loved him too much to lose him now.

. . .

“So,” You heard Hoyt begin after walking out of the room Thomas was just stabilized and hopefully saved in, you hadn’t been allowed in. The family had assured you that your presence would do more harm than good. You hesitantly agreed.

“What?” You asked, the pure exhaustion and strain in your voice made you sound as worn out as you felt.

“What made ya stay? Ya ran off like you was takin’ your chance to run, why’d you bother with the boy?” The Sheriff questioned, not even sounding snarky or demanding, a genuine inquiry that you weren’t expecting from him. And so, you answered with nothing but truth soaking into every word, perhaps it even shocked you more than it did him.

“Because I love him more than that.” And you did, more than the life void of chains and gore that you could have escaped to. It would mean nothing without him.

Your collar and broken chain were never replaced.

#thomas hewitt x reader #thomas hewitt imagine #thomas hewitt #leatherface x reader #angst #slasher x reader #slasher imagine #Texas Chainsaw Massacre #leatherface fic #leatherface #I don't know what the fuck just happened but if i did that guy would still have his arm

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phantomofsilence · 5 years

Text

Title : Stuck Between A Rock And A Hard Place

Word Count : Honestly who the hell knows?

Warning : Sad Bucky, sad Steve, you can see it from the request.

A/N :

Alright so i already posted this request but Tumblr somehow deleted it. So i had to do it all over again. Well thankfully not the story, i fortunately wrote it in the notes, i learned that lesson the hard way. Anyway along with a story the request itself was deleted. So i think this is how the request went, if it was your request message me if it was wrong. Also i had a really hard time with this request, i don't know why i just wasn't inspired, well probably more tired from college than inspired, but that's why it took so long. I wanted to do it right. Also for anyone else who send me a request i saw it, and i will right it as soon as my obligations allow me some free time. Also i did the P. O. V. thing so don't get confused. Okay, enough rambling, i hope you like it. And also i believe there was a compliment in the request for gif usage, thank you for that. 😘😘😘❤️

Request : Can you do a fic where you and the new agent are getting closer to the point where the team suspects that you are falling out of love with Bucky? (angst to fluff).

Steve's P. O. V.

As soon as he saw her enter the kitchen Chris was out of his seat smothering her in a hug, but Natasha and Steve, hung back and watched with frowns on their faces.

They stayed quiet during their conversation occasionally sipping coffee.

Their stubbornness and Steve's persistence in making sure both him and the team stay out of this complicated and deeply personal situation, rendered them mute, as they stood there cold and stoic, as they sipped on their coffee.

Many would say the intimacy in the embrace, those gentle smiles, and completely unnecessary gazes they were curently being subjected to were highly inappropriate and Steve would have to agree with them.

The more he watched, the more sorry he felt for his friend. But no, Steve wasn't angry at her, he was hurt. How could such a sweet girl be so uncaring? No one deserves this kind of treatment, his friend the least. He's been through so much already, Steve thought you out of all people understood this.

He lost so much, did he have to lose you too?

You were the rock that kept thing moving, a force anyone could fall back on if needed to be. And you want to abandon it all, for this Chris, a man you barely know compared to his friend.

Steve knew he was letting his feelings cloud his judgement, and you haven't really done anything but spent time with a man you claimed was your friend, a man that was your partner. He knew he spent just as much, if not more time with Natasha and she was one of his most valued friends.

Also, Chris seemed like a nice guy, the kind of man if you were still single he'd advise you to go for.

But that's it, you weren't single. In fact you were in a committed relationship with the most important person in his life.

He was stuck between a rock and a hard place, and he didn't know what to do. Invade his best friend's privacy or let his best friend be hurt when he could at least cushion the blow.

One more look at the 'lovely couple' and he decided, privacy be damned, his friend deserves honesty at least and he was gonna make sure he got it for him.

"Steve.." a voice trailed off cautiously, he looked over the see Natasha leaning on the counter facing them, with her head turned towards him looking at him.

"I know, Nat." he knew he shouldn't have snapped, it wasn't her fault. She sighed.

"Steve it should be one of us, I know it sucks to hurt him like that, but it's even worse if he caught them, and we knew but didn't tell him."Like always the redhead was right, but he still tried to reason with her.

"But she hasn't done anything yet Natasha, we can't make things up when they didn't happen."

She rolled her eyes at his statement. "Yes, Steve, she hasn't done anything, yet Steve. The key word being yet. Come on, Steve! They've known each other for only two months, and they are joined at the hip. If you think Bucky didn't notice you are mistaken. Dude's been giving her the kicked puppy eyes for days now and she hasn't even noticed choosing to ogle at her new beau. This calls for revenge! "The redhead took a deep breath and said.

" He is your best friend Steve, if the rolls were reversed wouldn't you like him to say something? "

Steve didn't respond, it wasn't necessary, they both knew the answer. Instead of pushing him, Natasha gently squeezed his shoulder and left him in the kitchen to think it over.

An hour later Steve was letting out his anger on a punching bag. The more he thought about it, the more conflicted he got.

This wasn't his relationship but it was his friend. Thou you were his friend too, after Peggy's death you along with Natasha were there for him, hell you've spent the whole day making jokes just to make him forget.

You were like Bucky, the Bucky from before, not just before The Winter Soldier, but before the war. The guy that got him in a lot of trouble and the guy that stood by him and protected him when he took a bite too large to swallow.

The man that took him to many unsuccessful dates, his companion, his family, it's what drew him to you.

You were a sense reality in the world that no longer made sense, a familiar face in a strange place.

Although he wanted to protect his friend, he also felt oddly protective of you. He couldn't betray your trust, but he couldn't betray Bucky either.

Why did this has to be so hard? He thought and punched the punching bag so hard it ripped and fell few feet away.

"What did that punch bag ever do to you?" Said a man Steve was successfully avoiding since this morning.

"Oh, hey Buck. What's up?" he said trying to act nonchalant. "I could ask you the same thing. Why are you avoiding me? Did i do something?" Bucky demanded.

"I'm not avoiding you." Steve mildly shrugged. Glaring at him he got closer almost to his face. "What the hell is going on?"

Steve could hear the anger in his voice, but also hurt, trying to protect him he's the one that ended up hurting him.

"Nothing, Buck." Steve said. "Listen here, punk!

"It's bad enough the love of my life could possible be cheating on me right now, now i can't even trust you!? What the hell man?"

Steve looked at his best friend, his eyes were puffy, tears threatening to spill, but he refused to let them fall, he had dark bags under his eyes, he hasn't been sleeping well, his hands shaking in anger, this was a man already hurt.

"Look i wanted to tell you about her, but I didn't want to betray her either so I've been ignoring you both so i don't hurt anyone. I guess that ship sailed." He said, his friend deserved honestly at least he can get it from him.

"You think she's cheating on me?" asked Bucky. "I don't know, man. I did not see her so anything, from all we know we're just making stuff up."

Steve frowned, even thou he shouldn't do it now, he was defending her. "You're a good friend, Steve. But i didn't ask what you saw, i want a yes or no answer." Bucky said.

"Why do i matter, why are you asking me? If you really wanted to know you'd ask her. But you're asking me because you know i will never give you that answer. So why are you asking me, Buck?" Steve demanded.

Bucky glared at him, before he grabbed his shoulder giving him a smile." You're a punk, kid."Bucky said, paused to inhale and exhale before continuing." It's because i don't really wanna know. I love her, Steve. If fact i love her so much that even thou, she 's literally ripping me in half, my brain is still finding a reason to forgive her. That she loves me and it's all a mistake. I'm pathetic."

Bucky lowered his head, squeezed his shoulder again, let go and turned to leave.

At the door Steve voice halted him in place.

" You're not pathetic. You love her. Knowing you my whole life, you were never soft on a dame like that. I'm sorry it had to be like this."

Without turning around Bucky whispered. "Me too." And left.

Steve could see it bright as day this man was a mess. He had to do something, you might be his friend, and it wasn't his business , but he was about to confront you.

Steve knew you, you were not a coward.

He would get you to tell the truth, perhaps it wasn't too late. You need to be honest and you might even work it out with Bucky.

Taking his phone out of his pocket he texted you to meet him in his room.

Your P. O. V.

After the workout Chris suggested you go to the diner you always go after a successful mission.

"Come on it's been some time since we been there." Snorting at that statement you replied. "We literally went there two days ago."

Groaning Chris whined. "Exactly, too long, come on i know you can practically taste those fries and that strawberry and vanilla milkshake you like. Eh, it will be fun and if i may say so i make great company."

Although the offer was tempting, and you really could taste those fries and that delicious milkshake, you had to go home to your boyfriend.

You missed him so much, and judging by those sad eyes he's been giving you he missed you just as much, if not more.

The missions you were being sent on this past month left little to no time for your relationship, and now having to prepare for an undercover mission of great importance and you weren't allowed to speak about it with anyone according to Maria, you were forced to spend all your free time with Chris.

Well forced was a harsh word, Chris was a great man and an amazing partner, but he wasn't your boyfriend.

"Sorry gotta take a rain check." You mumbled apologetically. Chris smiled and pulled you in for a hug.

"Hey i get it, if i had a hunk like that waiting for me at home, i wouldn't even bother talking to you. Scram, kid." You arched an eyebrow on chuckling. "Is that so? "

"I'd fuck him."

As you were nearing your apartment your phone buzzed. Looking at the screen you saw you had a text from Steve. Opening it read' We need to talk, met me at my place'.

Steve was not the best texter but he never sounded this urgent and formal. If this was about the mission he would have asked meat at The Tower, this was personal.

Something was wrong.

All it took was three knocks to be met with Steve's hard gaze, he stood aside allowing you to come in.

"So we need to talk?Are you breaking up with me Steve?"A light-hearted joke that was meant to brighten the mood was met with a glare. Okay, not the right crowd.

"Listen, i know it's non of my business and you're my friend, but this needs to end. What the hell is going on with you and Chris? "

Steve asked firmly before placing his hands on his belt buckle. You knew that stance, you've seen it a million times, it was meant to frighted and send a message that he met business.

You never thought you's see it being used on you. But you weren't so easily scared.

"You're right, Steve it's non of your business ." You replied defensively. Who was he thinking he could question you?

"You're right, but i don't care. I'm the one who has to watch my friend heartbroken when you leave with Chris, so excuse me if I'm a little protective. Just don't. Own up to it." Steve said.

"Own up to what, Steve? Heartbroken? My Bucky? What the hell is going on?" You demanded. You have done nothing to Bucky. What the hell is he talking about?"You hurt him and..." Steve began but you cut him off. "Hurt him i haven' t even spoken to him!" You piped up.

"Exactly."

Bucky's P. O. V.

Knowing he couldn't stay cupped up in his room with all those thoughts swearing in his head Bucky decided to take a walk, and by walk he meant a run, muttering angry at nothing and panting wildly.

He wasn't sure if he was panting because he was tired from the aggressive run or the work his mind put him through.

He decided the latter.

As if he was cursed to suffer today, he ran into the last person he wanted to see. Chris strolled up to him, a bright smile on his face, as if he wasn't the cause to his misery. Some nerve on this guy!

"Hey, Buck right?" he said to Bucky holding his hand for him to shake. Bucky just looked down at it frown.

"Not a hand shaker? Alright, i get it. I'm getting used on it myself.Also some say it's unhygienic."

What pissed of Bucky even more was that Chris wasn't even fazed by Bucky unfriendly stance. This guy!

"Anyway i just wanted to meet the man my partner won't shut up about. I mean that woman's got you on a pedestal you'd think your shooting rainbow out of your ass."

Keep rubbing salt to an open wound, Bucky though. This dude was something else.

"Look man, i don't really know her for that long, but she's kinda grown on me. She's one heck of a woman. She means a lot to me and... " Bucky cut him of. "I can imagine." He remarked through his teeth.

"No, you really can't, she has been there for me after the war, you know when you get back everyone keeps walking on egg shells around you, it's a strange place, even the bed feels wrong, too soft. But she made me feel human."

Suddenly the anger for the man was gone and all that was left was confusion. Chris was a marine? It would explain his posture.

" She's not afraid to hold me, i thank God or whatever is out there everyday for a friend like her. "

Bucky knew what he was talking about oh to well, she made him fell the same. She was comfort, she was peace, she was his home.

" Why are you telling me all of this? "Bucky asked.

" Because I'm not blind, i know a jealous man when i see one. She holds me because it helps me relax, not because she is in love with me. Don't even try to deny it. I know what it feels to love her, but you know what it feels like to be loved by her. If anyone has the right to be jealous, it's me. Don't screw this up, man. See ya. "

Before Bucky even had the chance to process what Chris had said, he turned and ran the other way.

Walking into your room you felt oddly nervous. You didn't even know it but you've made the man you love, a man in doubt.

He now questioned your love and you did not even notice. Sure you saw a bit of sadness but regarded it as him simply missing you.

Not a man heartbroken and riddled with insecurities. He probably hasn't even slept right and you didn't see it.

There was no reason for your fear, the room was empty, no Bucky in sight. Footsteps in the hallway made you turn around. Walking out of the room you followed the footsteps into the hallway, outside your apartment, down the stairs and only when you were outside did you catch the glimpse of the man of our.

Gathering enough courage you called out Bucky who at the sound of your voice turned and froze.

The tension was high, you could feel it in the air as you stared at one another.

Just as you opened your mouth to speak not even knowing what to say Bucky crossed the distance, grabbed you by the back of your neck and kissed you.

It only took you a second to respond, the kiss was desperate, teeth clashing, tongues fighting for dominance, while hands roamed all over, pulling, squeezing.

Pulling away for air you kept your eyes closed. "Tell me you love me." Pleaded Bucky, making you feel even more guilty.

Opening your eyes your hands sneaked themselves around his neck pulling until your forehead touched his own.

"I'm not sure about a lot of things Bucky. But there is one thing i am sure about and that is that i love you, James Buchanan Barnes, i love you and i always will. I'm sorry i ever made you doubt my love. "

"No, i am the one that's sorry. I shouldn't have doubted you in the first place. I got so stuck in my own head. I'm sorry. I love you so much, doll."

"I love you. Let's just forget about it and agree that from now on we will talk about this things. No holding back. "

"You're right. From now, we talk. But please be patient with me. And do me a favor, will you."

"Anything."

"Don't quit on me. I know it can be hard to be with me sometimes, but I love you as much it is possible for this broken man to love. "

"You're not broken, just bent. And don't act like I'm a walk in the park, i know i can be frustrating. But this is a relationship, we work together, we compromise, we fight, we make love. We don't quit on each other, we fight for us."

"I love you."

"And i love you."

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baronessblixen · 6 years

Note

Prompt. Set on that scene in "Hollywood A.D" where Scully goes do Mulder's apartment at 3 am cause she can't sleep. It can be either fluffy or NSFW, you choose. Love all your fics, never stop writing them.

Thank you! Thetimeline is all wonky with Hollywood A.D. Let's just not talk about it, allright? It’s season 7, is what it is. Pure fluff. There's nothing else.

Tagging @today-in-fic

"So,Scully," Mulder turns down the volume on the TV; he could mute it, shethinks, and reiterate the whole movie to her with his eyes closed. Who watchesa movie 42 times? "Scully?" He is grinning at her and Scully isthankful that the room is bathed in only a dim, confused light, hoping it'senough to cover up her blush. Lately, Mulder does that to her; make her loseher train of thoughts, her whole mind.

"Why couldn't yousleep?" His head is in his hands, his elbows on his thighs. His attention ison her and her only. This, too, is a recent development. She's caught glimpsesof it, of him, in the last seven years, but it's never been like this. Heblinks lazily at her, waiting. Scully wonders if he's tired at all.

"It's late."She says, avoiding the question and stating the obvious. Yet Mulder rewards herwith a bright, clumsy grin that causes the corners of her mouths to twitch insympathy.

"Is it really?You could argue that it's early. Just really, really early." His chucklesounds boyish, younger than she's ever known him. She likes it. Likeseverything about this new path they're on. In many ways it's not new; it's justa different direction, a hidden track they've never dared to set foot on. Halfwaythrough, Scully can't tell how it ends. If it does at all.

"Why was your doorunlocked, Mulder?" It's only now that she realizes it; he didn't ask herwhy she came here tonight, in the middle of the night. He let her in as if thiswas the most normal thing they've ever done, his apartment unlocked, his heart,too.

"Habit, I guess.So?"

"So what?"

"Why couldn't yousleep? Nightmares? Don't worry about this probation vacation. Skinner isgoing-"

"That's not thereason." Scully turns to the TV screen. She hasn't seen this movie in yearsand never as often as Mulder has. She can't tear her eyes away, tries tounderstand the dialogue. But Mulder is insistently loud in his gaze, in hispresence and she faces him again. He doesn't ask, doesn't prod. She came here;she came to him tonight.

"If I tellyou," she begins, stops herself to gather courage, "if I tell you,will you tell me – honestly – why your door was unlocked?" Mulder issurprised by her request, but nods in agreement. Scully takes a deep breath,takes in the scent that she's come to think of as essential Mulder; warmleather mingled with the slightly salty aroma of sunflower seeds. This, atleast, hasn't changed. She hopes it never will.

"I was thinkingabout the case," he gives her a look, "I know we're off it, but whenhas that ever stopped us, Mulder?"

"Fairenough."

"I was thinkingabout the case and those thoughts turned into thoughts about… you."

"I hope you don'tconsider me Jesus Christ."

"Mulder, will youjust shut up? No, I found myself wanting to talk to you about it. Then Irealized that it wasn't even about the case. I found I wanted to talk toyou." Her cheeks are a deep red, flushed. Scully doesn't look at him,doesn't dare.

"You could havecalled." His voice is gentle, sounds closer than moments ago.

"I could have,but… I didn't just want to talk, I- I wanted to be… here. Your turn."Scully adds quickly, sitting up straight. Mulder's expression is purewonderment as she allows herself to face him.

"I uhm, I wasmaybe thinking," Mulder squirms, ends up even closer to her so that theirthighs are touching, "I thought maybe after today, after all we've recently…that you, you know, just maybe, you'd… that maybe you'd, you know." Hisinability to articulate himself on top of her embarrassment makes her giggle.She feels his eyes on her, wishes she could know what he's thinking as he'swatching her. All she knows is that his gaze is warm and makes her tingle allover.

"Very well said,Mulder."

"You knowme." He shrugs, gives her a smile, now.

"Can we lock the doorbefore we go to sleep?" Scully isn't sure where the surge of bravenesscomes from; she is as surprised as Mulder, who draws his bottom lip in betweenhis teeth as if afraid to say the wrong thing, to say anything. When he nods,finally, Scully gets up and, as if this was her apartment and not his, shelocks the door, double checks. She returns, slips off her shoes, her blazer.Mulder watches her, swallows, before he finds his voice again.

"Are yousure?" As sure as she's ever been of anything. She didn't know why she camehere tonight, not really. Her only drive the need, the want, to see Mulder. Toknow he was close enough to touch, close enough to feel. She knows what shewants; to take the next step. A small one, but one that propels them forward.It started with a kiss not long ago. Was derailed by a family tragedy 30 yearsin the making; a tragedy that ended one California night at last, silently.That night Mulder told her he was free. Tonight, Scully sees it in his eyes,accepts her own fear and takes his hand into hers. They're going to do thistogether.

"I'm sure,"she says, murmurs, trying to coax him to lie down, "but just to sleep,Mulder. I don't think we should-" He silences her first with a fingertip,soft, salty and she almost regrets her words, then with the gentle caress ofhis lips.

"I've beenwaiting to this again for so long." The words tumble out of him in relief,against her lips. She catches all of them; she's been waiting, too. Scully liesdown on the narrow couch, taking Mulder with her. He comes without complaint,spoons her easily. She secures his arm around her and he gasps, mouths a sorry,when his hand brushes her breast.

"Nottonight." Scully says again, convincing herself and him.

"I know, I wasn'ttrying to… do you really think this is a good idea? I have a bed."

"Like this,"Scully says, her mouth grazing his knuckles, leaving tiny kisses against hisskin. "It has to be like this."

"I'll do whateveryou say, Scully." Mulder chuckles into her hair and she sighs softly,realizes how funny this is, really. He never listens to her, never does whatshe tells him. But tonight… tonight is different.

"You've reallyseen this movie 42 times?" A last kiss against his hand; she is not goingto let go, knows he'll be there in the morning. Scully closes her eyes."Tell me what happens, Mulder. I want to know." She falls asleepagainst the hum of his chest, feels safe in the sound of his voice. She doesn'tfind out how it ends.

#writing this made me so sleepy #i like writing fic about sleep when i'm tired af #msr #xf fanfic #my writing #my fic #Anonymous

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imxenelle · 6 years

Text

Farewell Kim Jonghyun

To be honest, I don't know how to start this blog but I will try my best to make my point clear. And I hope people will take their time to read this. This might be a bit long but please.. Bare with me. Thank you.

I am someone at the age of 19 years old. Eversince I was a child, I had depression. What triggered my depression was watching my family breaking apart and losing a family member because of depression. I was at the age of 4, an age where I shouldn't understand yet what was going on. I should've focused on playing with kids or do stuff like a normal kid should do, but I did not. Instead, I was by my mothers side as I watched her cry every night. I took care of her whenever I could as I wiped away her tears and brought her tissues and a glass of water. I was also always alert when she was about to collapse. I kept her cellphone ready in order to call for help or was ready to run out to our neighbors eventhough it was in the middle of the night. To make it short, I did not acknowledge my depression until I was in elementary. I went to a psychiatrist almost 2 times a week.

Now that I am 19, I've recently realized as to why my depression comes back every now and then. It is not because of my past. I accepted years ago that my family wouldn't be the way it used to be. So I do know that this is not the main reason for my mental issue today.

It was around the first week of September 2017 when I realized, after all these years, that I was the reason behind my depression. I'm the main cause. I am pressured by my own self. I exhaust my own self without noticing it all those years.

After I realized this, the whole reason behind my anxiety and depression, I couldn't stop myself from hurting myself anymore. I was tired of myself once again. On the 23rd September, I tried to overdose myself. 7-8grams, but nothing happened to me, not even after I fell asleep. I got mad. I was annoyed. I couldn't understand why I was still breathing and alive. But I eventually moved on and well, went on with my life.

I'm doing well today.

The point about this blog is, Jonghyun and I have the same reason as to why we're suicidal and have depression. Please, I am not claiming that we have the exact reason nor do I try to claim something else. We are both different people with different feelings and emotions.

I've read an article where Jonghyun's letter was posted and I was extremely shocked hearing about him being depressed about himself. I don't know how to express myself nor do I know if I'm even saying this right. I felt like I understood where he was coming from when he said that people should not judge ones' depression, mostly if you have no clue what he or she is going through. Also when a person was questioning the reason of Jonghyuns' depression. You cannot tell a person what was triggering his mental issues when he himself knew it already.

Having depression myself, I know what a struggle it can be. So I am very thankful to the people who are there for me and never giving up on me. So I hope people out there has at least someone they can trust and depend on whenever they need someone. If you think you don't have anyone, you can always message me. I'm always ready to make friends and be there for someone who needs a shoulder to lean and cry on.

And before I end this blog, I would like to copy paste something I wrote on my IG. I wrote it into 3 parts.

1. "It's all in your mind" "Don't let it go to your head" "Think positive" "Those feelings aren't permanent" "Others have it worse than you"

Please, please stop using those words when someone opens up to you about their problems. About their loud cries in their head. Their silent tears that scream for help. Stop. Please stop promising to a person who has anxiety/depression that you're there for them when you just end up leaving them with their thoughts. With their killing thoughts that no one hears but them. Please stop offer help if you refuse to listen but just put your own words into our mouths. You may reflect upon our situation but please do not talk for us. We may have the same situation but we do not have the same feelings. Please do not compare us with others as we are all different from each other. We do know that people out there may have it worse than us but we do not need it to be rubbed under our noses. We know. Please understand that we are troubling with ourselves. We do not mean to bother others so we keep it to ourselves. But the more we keep it to ourselves, the more people get affected, isn't it? I apologize for that. But please know that I am trying my best to do better, to be okay, to be happy. Please do understand as I try to help myself to be okay because I know no one can help me except myself. But the problem is, I do not know how to help myself anymore. Please do understand that talking may be tiring for us by now as we try to explain over and over again. It's not like we refuse to talk. It's not like that. Please don't force us to talk. It's just really tiring now that we just shut down and stay quiet and just cry. Please understand that anxiety and depression isn't just a feeling of being scared and sadness. It's not. It's something we cannot explain once it hits you. Please do not tell us to think of something positive. It is not like we do not want to. We do try to think positive. But once it hits us, our mind goes blank. It shuts off. Yes, sometimes we do not think but just feel. So please stop saying it is all up in our mind. We do not feel the pain in our mind but in our heart.

2."Try harder" "Your 'trying' isn't enough" "Don't try, do it" "Trying won't hurt"

It ain't easy the way it sound like. Please do not tell us that we should do something in order to make ourselves busy. To make our mind busy. It's because it'll make sound like we aren't trying. But we do. We do know that you mean only good but at the back of our mind it'll still bother us to the point that our mind starts to think "I am trying!" God damn it, we are trying. I am trying. Putting these words into my own mind and mouth is like adding salt to a fresh wound. I take the salt from you and pour it unto my own open flesh so it'll hurt less, but it doesn't. Please do know that we are trying our best to be okay. We try our best to stay happy. Because who doesn't wants happiness in their life? We want it too. We want it to last, even if it would be for a single day. So we try our best to do all the things we love to do, even if it'll takes a risk and a step beyond the line we're scared to cross. Taking the risks in life gave us sometimes the taste of happiness but coming at the end of the day, the same feeling comes back, even if we do not want to welcome it back. It's because IT welcomes us back.

So please, do not tell us to try harder because we do not try. We DO our best.

3. "You're being too dramatic" "Attention seeker" "It'll be okay"

Please stop saying that we're being too dramatic and that we're attention seekers. It hurts. Emotions and feelings aren't something to joke about. Please understand that we rather choose to keep it to ourselves instead of telling it to others. Keep it away even from our friends and loved ones. Sometimes they do not understand us either. Please understand that it hurts the most as we cry in our own 4 walls as we try not to make a sound in order for people not to hear us. It hurts. It hurts when loved ones don't understand. But it hurts the most when they blame themselves because we feel this way. We do not want to blame anyone but ourselves. Our own mind. Please do not talk down on us as you say "it'll be okay". People like I hold unto your words in hope you are saying the truth but cry in pain as these were words were filled with no sincerity but air. We do not blame you for these words that slip from your lips but our idiotic selves for trusting and holding unto something that can't promise us anything. Please do not tell us it'll be okay when you can't see your own tomorrow. Please do not tell us it'll be okay when we've been told this now since years. We are still not okay. Please stop giving us false hope that were meant to be unintentional.

ㅡㅡㅡ

I am done. I'm sorry if this was a long blog but I would like to give my sincerest thank you if you read it till here!

Please message me if you like to talk to me! You can open up to me about anything. I'm happy to make friends! And please remember to spread love. I love you peeps so much! Always take care of yourself! ❤

Lastly, I would like to end this blog with a short message to our Jonghyun.

Dear Jonghyun,

How are you? Are you doing well? I do hope you're well and safe. I believe that you're in a place now where you can rest your tired soul. I would like to thank you for being my very first ultimate bias. Thank you and SHINee for bringing me in into the Kpop world. Thanks to you, I found something I can hold unto whenever I feel down and happy of course. Thank you for being my joy and inspiration and motivation. Thank you for sharing your blessings with us. Your beautiful voice with your sweet and kind heart. Thank you for being you Jonghyun. I am sorry if I'm still crying as I write this but please know that I love you so much and that I miss you. I am sorry if I tried to run away from my own sadness and reality. I tried to run and build a wall from the reality that was right in front of me. I was scared to face it. I couldn't believe it and refused to accept it. It was too painful for me to let you go just yet. But knowing that you're in a safe place now, I try to let go. I'm slowly letting go of you. But it doesn't mean I will forget you. I will never forget you Jonghyun. You will always have a place in my mind and heart. You did well.

Rest in Peace Kim Jonghyun.

#kim jonghyun #kim kibum #choi minho #lee taemin #lee onew #lee jinki #jonghyun #rip jonghyun #shinee jonghyun #kpop #depression #shawol #shinee world #key #kibum #taemin #onew #minho #jinki

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traceyaudette · 7 years

Text

Friends Are Friends Forever

Requested by Anon: One with Jax where you are best friends and he has had these feelings for you since you were kids he wants more but you don't but you are willing to agree to do friends with benefits. you both agree once feelings are caught you both leave. it goes on for a year till he catches feelings for you. you don't and it scares you off. she stops contacting him and he runs into her at a bar, they both sit and talk only for her to still not a relationship with him and they both continue to be fwb. (fwb) but she ends up pregnant and ends up living with him and they co parent but no relationship even after the baby?

Jax’s arms snaked around my waist, pulling me down on his lap. His mouth gently sucking on my earlobe, I shivered and leaned into his embrace, letting out a little moan.

“Come on (Y/N/N), when are you going to let me love you?”

I pulled away, looking into his eyes. “Come on Jax, we've been through this at least a hundred times.” I jumped off his lap and walked across the room.

I heard him get up and follow me, his body close to mine. “I love you (Y/N) Delaney!”

I whirled around to face him. “I love you too Jax, you’re my best friend….but I can't give you anymore then that. I’m sorry.…”

“Why? So I'm only good enough for a screw buddy?” I could see the hurt and anger in his eyes.

I touched his arm. “No, you're so much more than that. One of us risk getting hurt, if we allow more than friendship love….I enjoy the relationship we have now. It’s safe and secure….”

His hands framed my face. “So all I get is friends with benefits?”

I nodded my head. “The minute it becomes more, either one of us can bolt. No hard feelings...”

He looked at me closely. “If it's that or nothing, I choose friends with benefits.” He picked me up, carrying me to my bedroom.

XXX

It had been a year since Jax and I started our little arrangement. I was happy with it, he seemed to be as well.

I came home from work one night to find him waiting for me. He had the backyard lit up with candles, and he had cooked.

Warning bells went off in my head, that I should turn around and run, but like a fool I continued on. He smiled at me, pulling me into his arms, kissing me hungrily. He pulled me to the table, sitting me down, so we could eat.

Still those bells going off in my head, but I ignored them. I was caught up in the moment, letting an unfamiliar feeling come over me. His blue eyes were shining as they looked at me. He grabbed my hand, squeezing it.

“I love you (Y/N) Delaney. We've been doing this whole friends with benefits thing for a year. I want more with you. Please tell me you changed your mind.”

I pulled my hand from his, shaking my head. I could feel the tears getting ready to fall. “I can't….I’m not...I can't….” I gathered my thoughts looking at him. “I’m not capable or worthy of love.”

I ran from the backyard, through the house, to my car, leaving him standing there shocked and hurt. He had caught feelings for me, I know I had hurt him by leaving. Better now then later when he realized I was broken.

XXX

In the last year Jax had tried to forget (Y/N), but anytime he tried to sleep with another woman; all he could see was her face. He finally gave up trying, and refocused on finding her. He had searched everywhere and come up empty handed.

Jax pulled into the parking lot of Stockton prison, for his weekly visit with Otto. Every week he’d ask and get the same thing. All Otto would tell him was that she was safe, and didn’t want to be found. He was going to sit down with Otto and beg for information.

He watched as he entered the room. “Jax, I can't tell you anything. She’s safe, just move on brother.”

“Please, I'm in love with her, I told her and she ran. She thinks she's not capable or worthy of loving someone.”

Jax watched Otto tear up. “Even after all this time, that bastard still his claws in my baby girl!”

“She never told me.” Jax wanted to find this guy and beat him senseless.

“He told her she wasn't capable of love, and no man would ever love her. It was better not to have feelings, because you just got hurt.”

“What happened?”

“He left her for another women…” Otto looked at Jax. “You love my little girl?”

“I have since we were kids...the last year it's only grown deeper. I want it all with her, if she'll just take a chance. “

Otto smiled. “She's here in Stockton. After you leave here, go for a drink at The Office. It's a bar she goes to after work.”

Jax got up, leaving Otto sitting. He turned around to look at the man. “Thanks Otto.”

“Take care of my little girl.” Jax nodded at him before leaving.

“I swear, I’ll protect her with my life!” He quickly left ready to go find (Y/N).

XXX

I was standing at the bar, with my coworkers after work. Tasha elbowed me in the side. “Don't look now, but blue eyed blonde babe...INCOMING!”

Before I could react my coworkers took off leaving me alone standing at the bar. I looked up to see Jax walking towards me.

I knew he saw me, I couldn't leave without it being obvious. He smiled at me. “(Y/N).” He said my name so softly, I barely heard him.

“Jax…” He pulled me into his arms holding me close and kissing me.

“I've been worried about you...I’ve missed you so much…”

“I know...me too. I'm sorry I left the way I did…” His hands caressed my face, his forehead pressed against mine.

“Can we go somewhere and talk?” I took him to my apartment. Where we talked about our past, and we ended up in bed together.

He asked if we could go back to what we had before, I told him I didn't know. I thought too many feelings had gotten in the way.

He promised me that he would keep it just friends this time. He finally wore me down and I agreed.

XXX

I sat in Jax’s dorm room, waiting for him to get back from whatever club business he was doing.

The door swung open, Jax had Ima wrapped around him. I know I had no right to be upset, but it stung a little.

“I'm sorry….I should have called.” I heard Ima laugh.

“Yeah, you should have. He's busy with me.” I ran from the room, brushing past them both. Ignoring Jax calling my name, I made it to my car before he caught up with me.

“(Y/N)...hey wait!” His arms enclosed around my waist pulling me against his chest. “I'm sorry……”

“No, you have nothing to be sorry for Jax. I mean...we’re friends that….” His hands frame my face.

“I want to be with you, over anyone else….”

“I have to tell you something….it may change everything. If it does I understand, I mean we didn’t talk about this ever…..”

I watched his body stiffen. “Have you met someone?”

“I’m pregnant….I understand if you want out. I’ve already decided that I’m keeping the baby, and you don’t have to have any responsibilities. No one has to know that you're the father…”

“A baby? Really?” He smiled at me, pulling me into his arms. “I want this with you….”

I smiled at him, feeling relief. “You aren’t mad?”

“I’m happy, but we have a lot to talk about.”

XXX

For my safety and the baby’s we decided it was best for Jax and I to live together. Our relationship stayed the same, much to his disappointment. And everyone else's.

Gemma, and my dad pushed Jax and I to marry, but I stood firm in my resolve, that being close friends was the best.

I know in Jax’s heart, that’s what he really wanted, was to get married but I knew in the long run it was for the best. I did love him in my own way. I didn’t want to be with anyone else, but I was worried I couldn’t love him the way he deserved.

My pregnancy went perfect, Jax was there for everything. He went to every appointment possible, if he couldn’t go than Gemma went. He spoiled me by going after every craving I had no matter the time of day.

When I had mood swings, he took thim in stride, always telling me I was beautiful. Then one morning at three am Delaney Luann Teller came into the world, healthy. She had no signs of the family flaw.

Jax was over the moon about having a daughter, he was totally in love with her. I never knew I could love someone so much, until the doctor laid her on my stomach.

Jax and I lived together co-parenting Delaney, when she was two, our son Otto Thomas was born, just as healthy as his big sister. We spent the rest of our lives together raising our children, while we never got married, and I never took his crow, we loved each other.

We were faithful to each other to our last days.

THE END

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