#chan angst
Text
Keep it together
Pairing: Chan x femReader
Word Count: 2199
Summary: You come back to an empty home, overwhelmed after a shitty day. Once Chan's there he makes sure to take care of you.
Warnings/Tags: angst, fluff, cuddles, emotional hurt!comfort
A/N: My dear friend and editor Miya @miyaluvvsyou wrote this beautiful comfort fic for Channie, trying to make me believe that it's "just a lil sth and probably not good"...please, help me prove her otherwise🤭🖤
Pushing the front door to your home open, you drag your tired body inside and let it slam shut behind you, ignoring the sound that normally makes you flinch. You slide off your shoes, drop your bag and keys on the nearby table, and take off your jacket to hang it up on the hook next to the door. You turn towards your living room, taking a few steps into your home. The air is still, silence clouding the air as you realize no one is home besides you. The sunlight peaks through your windows, and subtlety illuminates the space just enough to see the features of your home.
You walk past the living room and towards the stairs to your bedroom, stripping the clothes from your body in the process. As you reach your bedroom, you drop your clothes in the laundry basket by the door and head into the master bathroom, leaving the door open. Standing in front of the sink, you look into the mirror and you inhale a shaky breath, exhaling as you examine your features while only standing in your bra and panties.
Your hair, now frizzy and all over the place from its neat style this morning, is the first thing you see. The dark circles resting under your eyes threaten to deepen with one more sleepless night. Your eyes were red and puffy from rubbing them all day, also ruining your makeup you put effort into this morning. Your skin was slightly paler than normal. As you take in the sight, tears begin to brim your eyelids, and you take a shaky, deep breath to center yourself. You were drained in every sense of the word, and it was very apparent in your appearance, though you tried to hide it.
And all you wanted was him.
A tear escaped and rolled down your face, but you wiped it away quickly with a sniffle. Moving towards your shower, you turn on the hot water and let the steam envelop the room for a couple of minutes while you continue wiping away the tears still escaping your eyelids.
Keep it together just enough to shower. Wash the day away, and you will be fine…
You repeat the same words in your head as you strip from your underwear and step into the scalding water, letting it welcome you with a deep sigh. You try not to waste any time and energy getting to work on washing your body. With every scrub of the soapy cloth, you imagine every single worry and inconvenience from the week being taken away. But no matter how hard you scrub, your mind can’t seem to relax. The flowing hot water only giving you temporary relief from the icy atmosphere in your mind. And you can’t stay in the shower forever, as much as you want to sink down to the floor and let the water consume you. You resist the urge and continue cleaning your body until you’re satisfied.
Finishing your shower and getting out, you wrap a towel around your body and walk back to the bedroom. Grabbing your lotion, you sit at the edge of the bed and moisturize your body as you get lost in your thoughts again, staring at the floor and spacing out. Your body moves on autopilot, making sure to cover every inch of skin with the sweet-scented lotion as you’ve done countless times before. If anyone were to walk in, they would think you’re just doing your normal routine. But they’d have no idea of the depressive storm brewing in your head.
Keep it together. You’ll be under the covers and away from the world soon…
As you continue your routine on autopilot, you tug one of his t-shirts over your head, slip on a pair of panties, and sit on your side of the bed, facing the window. Closing your eyes, you inhale deeply and hold it in. The tears that were in your waterline begin to slide down your cheeks. You exhale shakily, and before you can stop it, the tears fall faster. You begin to cry, feeling your mind and body give in to the breakdown you have been avoiding all day. As your sobs get louder, your body slides down onto the floor, leaning back against the bed, and your hands reach up to cover your face. You cry your heart out, trying to keep your heart from racing out of your chest.
You don’t hear Bang Chan come home almost an hour later. He’s humming to himself as he closes the door, guiding it so it won’t slam, and puts his keys in the bowl on the table. As he takes his shoes off, he notices yours and smiles to himself, putting his bag next to yours. “(Y/N), I’m home, love!” He calls out to you. Taking off his hoodie and hanging it next to the door, he turns towards the living room, expecting to see you.
But he’s met with nothing but the still silence of the home. There weren’t any lights on, just the few rays of sunlight coming through the window. There wasn’t any movement coming from the kitchen. As he walked further in, he noticed the tv wasn’t on either, couch unoccupied.
“(Y/N)? Are you home, baby?” Chan called out again, his eyebrows raised as he awaits for a response. But none came, and he frowned.
Strange.
Taking his phone out of his pocket, he opens it and calls your phone, listening to the ringing. A couple of seconds later, he hears the vibration from your phone and looks around to locate the sound. He follows the vibration back to your purse, where he sees your ringing phone with his name on the screen. He looks around once more before ending the call. He softly hums and begins to make his way upstairs, 2 steps at a time. Maybe you were in the bathroom or in the shower.
Chan notices the bedroom door open and looks inside, standing in the doorway. His eyes scan the room before he sees the top of your head poking out from your side of the bed. He exhales with a small smile and slowly walks in, trying not to make noise to surprise you. But his smile fades as he gets closer to you and hears your small sniffles. Are you crying?
“Baby?” Chan speaks gently to get your attention. Your head snaps up to meet his gaze, and his heart drops at the sight. You’re sitting on the floor in his t-shirt, one shoulder exposed and crossed legged. Your eyes are bloodshot red and puffy, tears flowing. Your chest rises and falls rapidly as you sniffle but struggle to breathe. My poor baby..
He’s kneeling down in front of you not even a second later, his hands cupping your cheeks and wiping away your tears with his thumbs. “(Y/N) what’s wrong? Are you hurt? Did something happen?” Chan rattles out questions as he closely examines your body. You shake your head and sniffle, more tears flowing from your eyes.
“C-Chan I-“ You struggle to get out between sniffles. You put your hands over his and close your eyes. He leans forward and kisses your nose softly, then your forehead, and finally pecks your lips so delicately. It causes you to still, taking a deep breath and inhaling his scent. It calms you enough to finally open your eyes and meet his gaze.
He looks at you with a pained expression and rubs your cheeks with his thumbs gently. “What’s wrong, princess? What’s upsetting you, hm?” He asks sincerely. Chan hated seeing you upset, especially if he’s the one that causes it. But since he’s just gotten home, he doesn’t think he might be the cause this time.
“I don’t k-know, but hold me p-please” You whimper and wrap your arms around his neck. Chan sits back against the wall and pulls you into his lap, holding you close to his chest as he rubs your back. You bury your face in his neck and sniffle, trying to steady yourself in his arms.
Chan rubs soothing circles on your back and shushes you softly. You instinctively pull him impossibly closer, taking deep breaths. “It’s okay, babygirl. I’m right here. I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere.” You nod at his words. “We can sit here as long as you’d like, okay?”
“O-okay Channie.” You whisper into his neck, steadying your beating heart as you find comfort in his arms.
The two of you sit like that for 2 hours. Once your sniffles died down and the tears stopped flowing, you curled up in Chan’s lap, subconsciously trying to shrink yourself. He continued to rub your back while planting soft kisses on your head every now and then. He even started to hum one of your favorite songs to help steady your heartbeat. He didn’t complain about being on the floor for so long, he just wanted you to be okay. Once the silence was in the air long enough, he spoke up. “How ya feeling, love?”
“I’m okay…” You shyly reply, shifting a little in his lap. “I’m sorry I couldn’t-“ You begin to try explaining yourself, but Chan interrupted you almost immediately.
“Shh hey, don’t apologize to me. My concern is you, no matter what.” He looks into your eyes as he speaks reassurance to you, letting the hand that’s not rubbing your back gently caress your face. “If you’re not ready to talk about it, it’s okay. I won’t pressure you.”
You nod and your eyes flutter as he leans forward to plant a kiss on your forehead. With a sniffle, you begin to speak. “I just had a really tense work week and once I got home, my body just…broke down. It’s just been so-“ The tears begin to rim around your eyes as you explain, and you take a pause to take a deep breath. Chan notices and kisses your forehead, running a gentle finger underneath your eyes to wipe away your tears. You take his hand and look into his eyes. “Thank you, Channie.” You speak lowly, but sincerely.
“Don’t thank me, it’s my job to make sure you are okay baby.” He speaks softly with a smile. You match the small smile resting on his face and nod. “Do you wanna sit here for a little longer still?”
“Can we lay in bed and cuddle? You’re probably uncomfortable from sitting like this for a while. Especially with me sitting on top of you.” You give him an apologetic look, while an adorable pout rests on your lips.
Chan shakes his head. “You know I’ll never complain when you’re sitting on my lap, princess.” He says, wiggling his eyebrows. You gasp softly and slap his shoulder playfully, smiling as he giggled. “But we can lay down and cuddle baby, whatever you want.” He chuckles and kisses you. You kiss him back, wrapping your arms around his neck and moving to straddle his lap. He wraps his arms around your legs and stands up with ease, causing a squeal to leave your lips in the middle of the kiss. He chuckles and kisses you again as he takes a few steps towards the bed and lays you on your back.
You keep your arms around his neck and wraps your legs around his waist to keep him close. He smiles and kisses your forehead and cheeks, going back to your lips for a soft peck. You whine softly and try to connect your lips again, but he pulls back just enough to be out of reach, a grin that flashes his dimples rests on his lips. “Channieee”
“Uhn uhn, cuddling only princess. That’s what you asked for.” He raised an eyebrow, still grinning.
You sigh and pout at him. “Just a little kiss?” You give him the best boba eyes you can manage.
But he doesn’t crack, giving your pouty lips a quick peck before he playfully slaps your thigh. “There’s your kiss. Now get under the covers while I change my clothes.” He says, giggling at your stunned face from his movement. He gives you one more small peck before standing up and going into that closet to change. You smile to yourself and crawl under the covers, grabbing the remote and turning on the TV.
Chan comes out of the closet in a pair of sweatpants but his chest bare. He climbs into bed and underneath the covers, pulling your body close to his. You lay your head on his chest and intertwine your legs, feeling safe and sound in his arms. He kisses your temple and smiles. “I love you darling.”
“I love you more, Channie. So much more.” You speak, placing a kiss on his chest and smiling to yourself. You turn on Netflix and you watch that K-Drama you both have been waiting to watch, feeling that much needed peace you craved just hours ago.
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@atinyniki @galaxycatdrawz @silverstarburst @aaa-sia @lilmisssona @kthstrawberryshortcake @channieaddict @soullostinspaceandtime @rebecca-johnson-28 @lixie-phoria @kibs-and-bits @xxstrayland @ihrtlix @pheonixfire777 @mellhwang @palindrome969 @michelle4eve @harshaaaaa @rylea08 @heeyboooo @manuosorioh @gisaerlleri @andassortedkpop @lailac13 @bbokari711 @kazuuuaaa @rssamj @wolfyychan @stellasays45 @chrizzztopherbang @ionlyeverwantedtobeyourequal @silentreadersthings @myforevermelody143
#stray kids#skz#chan#chan fic#chan fluff#chan angst#chan x reader#chan x fem reader#bangchan#bangchan fic#bangchan x reader#bangchan fluff#bangchan angst#stray kids fic#stray kids fluff#stray kids angst#stray kids x reader#stray kids fanfic#skz fic#skz fluff#skz angst#skz x reader#skz x fem reader
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Work Pressure (B.C)
🎧The Neighbourhood - Sweater Weather
“No, you don’t understand,” he said his cool fingers finding your warm skin and raising goosebumps. “I missed you, I missed being close to you.”
𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: 𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖
𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐱 𝐁𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐧
𝐭𝐚𝐠: 𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐢𝐝𝐨𝐥 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧! , 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭🔞
𝐖.𝐂 𝟑.𝟐𝐤
ꜱᴍᴜᴛ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴜᴛ. ᴍɪɴᴏʀꜱ ᴅɴɪ
𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐢𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐱, 𝐬𝐞𝐦𝐢-𝐩𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐜 𝐬𝐞𝐱 (𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐞𝐬. 𝐈'𝐦 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐈'𝐦 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲), 𝐁𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐣𝐨𝐛, (𝐩 𝐢𝐧 𝐯) 𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐞𝐱 (𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐬𝐚𝐟𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐬𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞, 𝐰𝐫𝐚𝐩 𝐢𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐚𝐩 𝐢𝐭), 𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐍𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲, 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐱. (𝐈 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐢𝐭 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐟 𝐈 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐦𝐭𝐡𝐧.)
_
Soft tunes could be heard despite Chan wearing headphones. It was past working hours at the JYPE building, the only people left putting in some extra hours of practice, production, or the cleaning crew for the night. Worried your boyfriend would skip his dinner for the nth time you had shown up with dishes from his favorite place - you reckoned he deserved a treat after working so hard for days.
After the man was well-fed and rested his eyes with a power nap on your lap he wanted to get back to work.
“Is it gonna take long baby?” you had asked, settling down on the sofa, his jacket as blanket knowing you might be in for a long night.
“An hour or so love…. I’m sorry but I have to finish this.”
“It's okay, I might do some work too later but I’ll just chill here if that’s alright.”
“Don’t wanna go home?” he asked getting up from your lap, leaning to kiss you before he adjusted his jacket on you.
“I’ll be alone,” you said he kissed your forehead before going back to his system, sitting down he glanced at you once before putting his headphones on partially covering one ear in case you needed something.
.
It has been two hours almost, you had fallen asleep in the initial 45 minutes waking to see Chan slumped over, his shoulders looking like they hurt, staring at his computer as the lines kept moving, the glare from the screen painted his face in blues. The only source of light was from his desktop. Chan had barely moved from that position except to turn the lights off to let you sleep, and you felt bad.
He did not register you getting off the couch and stretching, so he was startled when you touched his shoulder. His palms fly to overlap yours,
“You scared me,” he said taking the headphones off, neck resting on the headrest as he looked up at you.
“It's been two hours.” you reminded him running your fingers through his curls before massaging his forehead and temples. Chan hummed the throbbing pain in his head subsiding from your fingers. You massaged his head, his sinuses finally working your way to the knot on his neck his head fell forward a groan falling out of his lips.
“How about we stop? Hmm?” you asked as he pulled you to stand in front of him, your hands still on his shoulders.
“I need to get this done.” he sadly voiced head leaning forward to rest on your tummy as you ran your fingers through his hair he hugged your lower half sighing. This week was tough there was too much to do. Chan just wanted to sleep without worrying in his bed in the arms of his girlfriend.
A few frustrated tears left his eyes and your eyebrows furrowed in worry.
“Baby?” you asked holding his face, he closed his eyes not willing to see you yet, but his actions were contradictory as he pulled you into his lap. A gasp left you but you recovered, palms holding his face as he cried. Salty tears stained your necks and shoulders as Chan let out quiet sobs.
You just let him cry, he needed it but it broke you to see him hurt. This man carried his job and responsibilities on his broad shoulder but wore his heart on his sleeves.
“I...I am so sorry. I’m sorry…. Sorry.” he repeated and you were beyond confused, slowly you coaxed his face from your neck to look at you, his eyes opened.
“Why are you apologising?” you asked wiping off his tears and cradling his face, he sniffed and you grabbed a tissue for him. After he caught his breath you kissed his forehead, his red nose his cheeks his eyes. The dark eye bags were prominent and you hoped your kisses would ease his fatigue.
“Don’t say sorry baby. Talk to me,” you asked holding his face as he wrapped his hands around your waist.
“I’m such a shitty boyfriend. I can’t even finish one track and I’m scared. I’m letting the team down.” His eyes were downcast as he spoke.
“What no..” you tried but he shook his head.
“It’s too much, I can’t make it past this one verse. Nothing is perfect, and I was too harsh on Jisung today. He got so mad and left. I’m tired y/n. And I’m troubling you.”
“Wait, troubling me?”
He nodded opting to hide his face in your neck, “You're alone at home, you are sleeping on my studio couch you deserve better baby. I’m so so-”
“Don't you dare say sorry again Bang Christopher Chan ” you unintentionally raised your voice. At the mention of his full name, he stiffened.
“I know it's been a tough week for you. But don't for a second think that you have been anything but the best boyfriend. Channie, you are tired and you’re frustrated and you made some mistakes. But you are still trying and putting in the work. You have a lot on your mind and you just need a break baby.”
“But I-”
“Ssh…. all of you are tired and overworked. It's probably why Jisung reacted that way, he still loves his Channie hyung. He is the one who texted me telling me you had a bad day that's why I came to cheer you up, I fell asleep because I had an early start today that’s all.”
He hummed hugging you as you spoke in hushed whispers.
“Chris, baby I need you to know something. Yes, I am alone at home on some days and it does hurt me but I will never hold that against you, I love you and your work. I’m so proud of you baby you still work like a dog even after reaching so many people with your music, you’re consistent, hard-working, and fucking dedicated. I love that about you, don’t ever think that you are a burden to me. I would gladly spend days on this couch if it means I can spend my time with you. I’m worried I might disturb you!"
“No, no you made my day,” he said wiping tears.
“Then you have to believe that seeing you makes my day too. Even if I have to sleep on a couch. I don't mind it I love sleeping on the couch it's so comfy actually. Oof that Spotify dust-covered pillow don’t you just love the smell of dust,” you joked hoping to get a smile out of him. It did, his tired face broke into a smile, a small laugh escaping his lips.
“So don’t you ever tell nonsense like that, tell that stupid voice in your brains to shush. You are doing so well. I’m really proud of you.”
“I love you.” he breathes into your neck.
“I love you,” you emphasize with a kiss on his cheek. Then without stopping, you placed loud kisses around his face, mwah mwah mwah!
He giggled before begging you to stop 'okay okay okay... Okay, stop.' You pulled away to look at him, worn out he was still so handsome and you missed this, you missed him so much. Chan did too which he expressed by pulling you in for a long kiss. His lips were dry, you wet with your saliva as they moulded with each other, you held his face leading the kiss palm holding his cheeks. He lazily licked your lips before you parted yours to let his wet muscle into your mouth. The kiss was heating up, softly still. He detached and reattached your mouths. Again and again and again and without thinking a small moan slipped passed his mouth.
“Sorry,” he gasped when you pulled away. You pulled his face back and bit his bottom lip it didn't hurt he felt a sharp sting. “What did I tell you about apologising Chris?” you questioned hands gripping his hair and pulling his head back
“Mm.” he groaned as your lips found the column of his neck. “Don’t apologies.” you say as you bite his neck.
“I miss you,” Chan said tongue tracing behind your ear before his teeth grazed it, drawing a whimper out of you. “I miss you too,” you say his hand began to wander further, from your shoulders to your waist as they raised the hem of your sweater wanting to feel your skin slipping his big palms in.
“No, you don’t understand,” he said his cool fingers finding your warm skin and raising goosebumps.
“I missed you, I missed being close to you.”
“Haa..ah Chriss.’ you whined as he traced along your back simultaneously creating love bites.
“Me too,” you whispered lips finding his. Your sweater moved up as it got lodged on his forearms. This kiss was less comforting, it was more of an ‘I miss you’ passionate kiss, he held your hair to angle your head to his liking, you melting at the touch as his tongue traced patterns in your mouth.
“Mm I want you princess..” he whispered onto your lips as his hands adjusted your thighs so that you were properly straddling his lap, you could feel his hardening cock through his pants.
“Here?” you questioned, both of you satisfying each other regardless of the time and place was not something foreign but in his company where someone might walk in, it was unprofessional and would cause a lot of problems for him.
“Please.” he pleaded, his hands now under your outfit palms inching towards your breast
“Please…” he emphasized as he squeezed your breasts over your bra, being touch starved you let out an embarrassingly loud moan.
“Someone might hear us..” you say hands in his hair as he begins to grind up into you.
“Recording room,” he said breaking the kiss as the two of you looked at the overly huge sunglass thingy inside the soundproofed room with a glass window. You looked back at Chan who looked like he would almost cry- for different reasons this time.
“Fuck.. okay.” you had barely finished speaking when Chan rose from the chair holding you.
“Chri-is” you gasp as he hiked you higher holding your thighs and plush lips sucking where your neck meets your shoulder you moved your head away inviting him to kiss and bite more.
Somehow, he managed to open the door and plop you down before he turned to close it, propping a chair on the knob. It was dark as none of you bothered to turn the lights on. Chan reached for the switch but you stopped him.
“No lights please,” you begged kissing his swollen lips before moving down his neck careful not to mark his skin for PR reasons.
“But, I want to see yo- ah” he moaned as you began to palm his dick.
His mind blanked completely forgetting about the light switch as his back hit the wall. You dropped to your knees in front of him working on the ties of his sweatpants before pulling them down to release his aching dick. He was fully hard now, the shaft hot and heavy as you held him in your palms, stroking softly. Chan was groaning, sensitive from not being released in days. His fingers found their way into your hair as you placed soft kisses and licks from his tip to his balls.
“Mmph.. baby. I-” his sentence cut off as you took his tip into your mouth, tongue licking over his slit tasting his precum. You sucked diligently on his tip for a few seconds. Chan moaned as you forced yourself to take more of him into your mouth. Pulling away to catch a breath before pushing yourself to accommodate his length. You gagged tears spring to your eyes as you felt him graze the skin at the back of your mouth.
“Ah …. Ah… ah” Chan was a mess, fingers holding onto your ponytail as he slowly fucked your face. You began bobbing your head up and down and he tightened his grip on your head all politeness leaving him as he was desperate to finish. Your jaw began to hurt but he deserved a release so you hollowed your cheeks, past the sting as you sucked him dry. He came with a broken moan, his release hitting the back of your throat. You pulled off his dick and swallowed the mess to which he tsked.
“Baby… you didn’t have to swallow,” he said between gasps. “It's okay I wanted to.” he helped you onto your feet, attacking your mouth he could taste himself on your tongue. He groaned at the flavour and his hands once again found the skin of your back, unclasping your bra. You gripped at his black t-shirt as he made work of your sweater, removing it and throwing it on the floor.
Your bra unhooked but Chan did not even bother removing it before he placed his lips on your right nipple, he was on his knees now one hand kneading your breast as he sucked on the other one.
“Aah, Chris… Channie..” you kept crying as soft as you could as he bit and marked the skin of your breast, fingers unzipping your shorts and feeling their way to your mound.
Your knees buckled and Chan pulled you onto his lap once again, he sat on his knees your thighs straddling his once again. He could feel your wetness through your panties as his fingers pushed them to the side to touch you. He palmed your pussy before playing with your clit, you jerking at that, he had to hold you down. You could not keep quiet biting the back of your palm as Chan’s fingers entered your hole. You tried to pull away his hands and mouth everywhere at once but Chan roughly pulled you into him.
“Don’t. Pull. Away” he said fingers moving at an awkward angle. He looked over your shoulders to see your clothes on the floor stopping his fingers. He pulled away and placed you on the floor delicately before moving to move your sweater and removing his shirt to make a makeshift blanket on the floor. Though it was carpeted. He picked you up before gently placing you down on top of the garments.
He plopped himself between your legs, throwing your shorts beneath the two of you. Lips finding each other. Moans and whimpers echoed in the room as you held onto each other tighter desperately grinding against one another. He gripped his cock out from its confines and tore open a condom, the only cloth left on his body was his sweats. After sheathing himself he slowly traced your pussy lips.
Your body jerked, “Channie please..”
“Please what pretty?” he teased your old chan slowly returning. You smiled before your mouth formed an o, hips stuttering as Chan spread your lips, grazing your clit with his member. He licked his fingers using them to wet your pussy thoroughly stimulating your wetness to produce in ample amounts. He slowly pushed in just the tip, a sigh leaving his lip.
“Aah..” your back rose from the floor as Chan slowly ground into you, ‘You felt so warm so so slippery fuck he had missed this so much.’
Your arms found solace behind his neck playing with the hair while Chan held his body weight on one arm, his other grabbing your face to kiss you dirty and deep, teeth clashing and spit exchanging. The sounds muffled as the two of you breathed into each other's mouths. He had begun to pull away to the tip before pushing back in. Repeating the action as your mind grew dumb. A loud moan broke through the room as he found a comfortable pace to thrust. Just then a beep was heard and the main door to the studio opened. Your eyes widened as Chan slapped his hand on your mouth. He stopped thrusting but grinded slowly not to lose the momentum. You both were huddled on the floor near the wall out of the vision line. But still your heart began to beat faster. The janitor was simply checking whether the studio had vacated, but he saw Chan’s bag and jacket in the room. After a few moments, he left thinking Chan had gone on break. Your whimpers were muffled by his hands as he breathed in relief at the sound of the door closing and locking automatically. His hip still moving slowly you felt his pubic bone rubbing against your clit with each jerk. Chan removed his hand to see you drool a bit
“See, I told you it was a bad id- Chris!” he snapped his hips fast you screamed but it was in a soundproof room. “Fuck baby, so wet for me.. aah I missed this... Missed-mph so much. Your cunt is so warm…. So warm.” he nudged your gooey spot and you wrapped your legs around his waist pulling him closer. Chan now thrust into your hole, fast and deep licking his index and middle finger before bringing it to draw on your clitoris. He drew mindless shapes on the swollen bud as he groaned into the skin of your neck biting your shoulders. Because of all the movement, his pants too slipped off his frame near his feet.
Your nails dug into his skin as the two of you lost yourselves in each other. “Baby, I’m so close, are you? I wanna... Ah fuck.. I wanna cum with you..” he voiced breathing ragged as he kissed your plump lips.
You could only manage babbles “Yeah..ah.. So- bi..ig cha- aah”
He took your nipple into his mouth and your back arched pushing your breasts into his face.
“Chan.. Chris I’m I’m cumming..” you breathed words cut off by moans.
“God... fuck princess me too.” as the second orgasm for Chan washed over that night you moaned carelessly knowing well only he could hear it. He jerked his hips a few times before emptying completely into the rubber and falling onto your body. His whole weight felt comforting to you, like a heavy warm blanket. He was still inside you as the two of you caught your breath.
_
The source of light from his desktop had dimmed long ago but the window was open and soft moonlight made your vision visible. Chan moved his body to hover over yours again. You were still in a blissed-out state.
“You okay?” he asked softly pulling out, his nose nudging your face before he placed a soft kiss on your jaw.
“I’m okay.” you say taking his face in your hands again, “you?”
“I’m better, sweetheart. I needed this,” he says, kissing you once more before getting off the floor. Chan disposed of the condom and checked whether the coast was clear before moving the chair blocking the door. Tightening his pants he walked out of the recording room shirtless and rummaged around his table. You sat up once he returned with a tissue box and some water.
“Thank you.” you finish gulping the water before moving onto your feet. Your sweater was stained with your release Chris apologetically handed it to you. You did not mind reassuring him with a peck on his cheek and grabbing the rest of your innerwear and putting them on. Thankfully your shorts and his T-shirt were clean.
Stepping out of the record room he turned on the dim light, you grabbed his jacket to cover your upper body, the outfit big for your frame. Chan clad in his t-shirt hugs you from behind as you are zipping it up.
You looked at him to kiss his cheek.
“Let’s go home,” you say placing your hands on his.
“I have to finish this babe.” he calmly said. Before you could protest your boyfriend lifted you off the ground and he sat back down on his chair you on his thighs.
“Don't worry, I’ll just record a sample and we can go. I’ll do the rest with Jisung soon.” he did, and you applauded his stamina with a kiss before nuzzling your face into the crook of his neck. He worked on with you sleeping peacefully in his lap even when he sang into the mic. His mind felt clearer and he finished the job within an hour.
“Done,” he said looking down to see you fast asleep, gripping onto his t-shirt. He checked his phone after packing his things into his bag on the ground still not waking you up.
There were notifications from Han which read, ‘Hyung, I’m sorry. I’ll work harder tomorrow. Fried chicken on me?’ he felt the last of his worries vanish knowing that the younger was not mad at him. He shot a quick reply with lots of hearts and gently woke you up.
“Baby? Let’s go home.”
_
𝘋𝘰 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘱𝘺, 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘰𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘦. 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘣𝘺 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘥𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘺𝘤𝘹 ©
𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠. 𝐑𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝
A/N: What would I give to love this man like this. Hope you enjoy this
tags 🏷️: @comet-falls
note: Hi love it's _🪽anon, Blog reveal haha. I hope you enjoy this. Let's be moots? (If that is alright). If you loved this fic do check out my other works too, I would love to get some tips from you as you are one of the authors I look up to.
#skz x reader#stray kids#skz smut#bang chan smut#bang chan#chan x reader#kpop#kpop fanfic#nyx writings.☽༊˚#chan smut#chan angst#bang chan imagines#bang chan x reader#bang chan fluff#skz#skz hard thoughts#skz hard hours#chan hard thoughts#chan hard hours#straykids x reader#stray kids smut#stray kids imagines#stray kids scenarios
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💔
„Are you leaving me?“
Chan dropped his silver spoon into the colorful bowl of cereals standing before him, spilling white milk all over the marble counter.
„What?“
The apartment was filled heavily with your silence, making it painfully obvious that you were indeed serious.
„I said are you leaving me?“
Chan frowned, thinking of all the reasons why you could think this way but failed to find a plausible reason.
„What makes you say that?“
You sighed deeply, finally revealing the massive burden you carried with you for the last weeks.
„You’re different, Channie.“
„Different how?“
„It’s just… your eyes no longer sparkle when you look at me. You don’t laugh about my jokes as much as you did back then. You stopped giving me flowers or taking me out on dates. We barely have sex these days, so I just can’t help but think you’re over me.“
Chan’s eyes widened as he heard you talking, not saying a word though.
You didn’t expect him to fall on his knees and fight for your love, but not hearing a single thing from him made things so much worse. Was your gut feeling right after all?
You swallowed hardly before asking him one final time.
„Channie, are you leaving me?“
Part 2 ➡️💔
#mykoreanlove#skz scenarios#skz imagines#stray kids imagines#stray kids x you#skz x reader#skz channie#channie <3#bang chan angst#chan angst#bang chan hard thoughts#bang chan hard hours#bang chan x reader#skz angst#skz hard thoughts#skz hard hours#stray kids angst#stray kids hard thoughts#stray kids hard hours#bang chan drabbles#skz chan imagines#bang chan x y/n#bang chan oneshot#skz drabbles#skz x y/n#stray kids fanfic#chan x reader#skz oneshots#bang chan#skz x you
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✿ ✿ 〞voicemails with chan after an argument
✰ genre : angst, romance and fluff in between
✰ pairings : bf!chan x fem!reader
✰ word count : 0.8k+ words
CHAN | minho | changbin | hyunjin | han | felix | seungmin | jeongin
one 𖨂
hey, my beautiful girl. how are you? it’s not the same without you by my side. the house looks wrecked and so am i. i am so so sorry baby for snapping at you last night. i. . . didn’t mean it. i swear. it all happened because of me and my work, and i do accept that. just come back please? i know you’re at your friend’s house but i won’t force you. ever. i just hope we can talk this out thoroughly. please? i love you very much. always know that, yeah? and i’m only a call away if you need me. good night.
two 𖨂
so i didn’t receive an answer back. does that mean you’re going to stay there for a while? alright, i respect your decisions. i always do. you know that right? anyway, today sucked. i kind of twisted my ankle while practising and i tripped over a charger and hurt my chin. it sounds painful but it was even more painful when you don’t reply to my messages, or to my calls and even my voicemails. i fucked up and i know that very well. i may sound selfish but i want you with me. i need you when i wake up and when i sleep. i want to see your face when you smile at me. how long has it been since i last saw you? over 2 weeks i suppose? if you’re listening to my voicemails, let’s meet tomorrow at our usual spot. at 3 i’ll be there. i’ll wait for you even if it takes forever.
three 𖨂
you eventually did show up. to be honest, i was surprised. i didn’t expect you to show up. but i’m glad you did. but i’m not very glad that you almost didn’t speak any other words except for ‘i need time’ and ‘alright’. it was pretty sad. then i realised how bad i must’ve hurt you for you to act this way. and i’ll say sorry a million times if you want me to. i regret ever letting you walk away like that. if only i had tried harder in our relationship we wouldn’t be at this stage where we’re unaware whether we’re together or not. i regret not understanding you earlier and spending my days at the company, rather than with you. i even started taking time out to come home early, at 8. just like you wanted. i even began sleeping on time, but i can’t help myself to fall asleep that easily without thinking how lonely you used to feel when i wasn’t here to hold you or to even talk to you. i regret everything, baby. i really do. i hope you’re happy, not skipping your meals and sleeping for good hours.
four 𖨂
i noticed something fall out of your wardrobe, and even though i respect your privacy, i couldn’t help myself. it was a letter. a letter presumably you wanted to give me, but you couldn’t. and it would be a lie if said i didn’t sit on the floor crying as i read the letter over and over till i had it memorised. you always wanted to write me letters didn’t you? what more do you have up your sleeve? how long are you going to keep impressing me and making my heart flutter like that? you might think i’m being a little too extra today, but it’s true! you can’t just go away after making me fall that deep for you. it’s been three weeks now. how long am i going to be punished? just answer me once. please.
five 𖨂
when i tell you i almost fell off the couch, you won’t believe me. but i almost didn’t believe my eyes when i saw your voicemail. why would you ever be sorry baby? you have all the right to be angry at me. i deserve it. but don’t think you did anything wrong. you just did what you thought was right. and sometimes, it’s better that way you know? like if you wouldn’t have gone away i would just return to my schedule again. i wouldn’t have realised where i was wrong. so don’t blame yourself, okay? as i said before, i’ll wait.
six 𖨂
so this is gonna be the end of all the angsty voicemails as you just called me saying you’ll be coming home tonight. i’ll prepare a welcome dinner for you along with some kisses if you would like. and hugs too perhaps? i am just on my way to clean the house and myself too. since i didn’t shower today, so i’ll see you in about 8 hours. i’m very happy that you’re coming back babe. i love you so much. and i, thank you, for giving me a second chance. i’ll be waiting for you, my love.
#ॱଳ͘#chan x reader#stray kids x reader#skz fluff#skz angst#bang chan x reader#bang chan#stray kids#chan angst#voicemails with chan#chan x you#skz x reader#skz fanfic
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cw — f!reader
“chan, my love,” you attempt for what must be the third time — “you know these things are rigged, right?”
it’s like he barely hears you, hand fixated on the lever, eyes narrowed in concentration, zeroed in with, frankly, terrifying intensity on the stuffed dinosaur that sits inside the claw machine.
you’d really, truly, only meant it as a passing comment! the two of you were just walking past the games on your way to the hot dog stand, and the little green dinosaur had caught your eye. “look! a dino, like you!” — you’d nudged him lightly, the briefest of laughs — “it’s so cute!”
you’re not sure how, but your boyfriend took that as a challenge.
which is how you wind up in your current position: watching him let out another stream of curses when the dinosaur, unsurprisingly, falls from the claw for the fifth time.
“chan.” you try again, but he glances at you with a fleeting, dazzling smile —
“just a sec, baby,” he assures, a steeling determination in his tone. “i swear i’ve got it this time. i’m good at these.”
“they’re rigged, baby,” you repeat, feeling like a stuck record, but giving in all the same. “nobody’s good at these.”
but less than half a minute later, you’re eating your words. somehow, he’s managed to drop the dinosaur straight down the shoot, fuelled by mumbled swears and intense lever use, maybe — but he’s done it.
“for my lady,” he declares magnificently, turning to present it to you with an overdramatic flourish and bow. you don’t quite match his elegance, grabbing the dinosaur to your chest with a delighted sound.
“i love him,” you announce, completely disregarding the baffled looks the two of you are getting from the throng of younger children to your side. “this is my new best friend.”
chan stops for a second, his brows raising; “hold on — ”
“do not tell me you’re jealous of a plushie.” you turn towards him, half-questioning, half-amused.
“listen,” he attempts, “i just mean that — i’m probably better at cuddling, you know. that thing can’t move its arms.”
“chan!” you splutter, laughing at the faux glare he shoots the tiny animal. “you’re kidding.”
his eyes flick to yours, his brows flick upwards. “am i?”
you roll your eyes, and assure him. “you’re not being replaced.” and for good measure, you drop a sweet kiss on his cheek, smiling when his ear go ever so slightly red.
(“it’s like a reward,” he quotes, brushing his fingers over where your lips have touched — that’s when you know it’s time to cut off his tiktok addiction.)
an / that last part is just me being silly. sorryyy this is so short and not very good i’m doing a little bit insane i have SO MANT family members staying at my house (currently sleeping on a sofa bed in my parents’ room. u can imagine how that’s going.)
perm taglist: @n4mj00nvq @eoieopda @som1ig @glowunderthemoon @wondering-out-loud @graybaeismytae @hannyoontify @sahazzy @dokyeomin @icyminghao @smilehui @nicholasluvbot @lvlystars @immabecreepin @hanniehaee @kokoiinuts @astrozuya @doublasting @yepimthatonequirkyteenager @qaramu @weird-bookworm @phenomenalgirl9 @lightnjng @strnsvt
#seventeen fluff#chan fluff#dino fluff#dino x reader#chan x reader#seventeen x reader#dino comfort#seventeen imagines#seventeen fic#seventeen fanfic#seventeen headcanons#chan comfort#chan angst#dino angst#chan fic#dino fic
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Goodbye, Fourth of July (18+)
pairing: lee chan x fem!reader
genre: college au, best friends to lovers, angst w a happy ending, smut (MDNI!!), hints of crack?
description: it's the fourth of july when you realize you're in love with your best friend. unfortunately though, it seems that he doesnt love you back, and this knowledge sends you spiraling. you push him away, but chan just wants to know why you're so upset
warnings: v v sad, pining, brief mention of s/a, chan is kinda dumb in this fr, reader is dramatic af tho, unprotected sex, desperation, praise kink, finger sucking, titty sucking, use of petnames (baby, pretty girl, sweet heart, good girl, cumslut once), mentions of alcohol and weed, irene is chans gf in this but shes not a villain shes mother fr
quotes from my proofreader: "my soul left my body", "no this is too personal", "i feel like im having a panic attack"
wordcount: 8.2k
Fireworks exploded across the sky the night your life was ruined.
Down the gray, dim corridors of your campus where room after room was ablaze with idle lights, daring to imitate the stars above them. Every crevice of the left wing was filled with the noise and decorum of a college frat party, where people lived out their own lives simultaneously to yours - yours, that was shattering into millions of pieces onto Yoon Jeonghan’s kitchen floor. Every moment of teasing, of lingering touches, of adoring smiles, of secret memories and exchanged glances came hurdling onto you on the 4th of July, red solo cup long forgotten in your hand. You were in love with your best friend.
“I’m in love with Chan,” you whispered, looking blankly across the room to see him leaned back against the couch, flashing a bright smile at Mingyu beside him. His blonde mullet - the one, that he had been so terrified to get, and only did so, when you told him he would look great - was tousled and spiky across his neck. He was wearing a red bomber jacket over a white tee, and he looked so good you thought you might cry.
Soonyoung wouldn’t have heard your confession - was it a confession? Admittance? Defeat? - had he not been standing right beside you. He thanked God that your words were not lost to the music and to the ambiance, to lay and die in the sticky, hardwood floor. “What?!”
He was yelling over the music. You turned over to him, mouth cracked into a frown. “What?! You’re in love with Chan?! Seriously?!” He started bouncing and giggling, ignoring your hands coming to grab onto his forearms. He had predicted this exactly five months ago.
“Shut up, Soonyoung, seriously!” You were yelling too, barely overcoming the booming voice of Kesha on the speakers. Bathed in pink light, letting your nails trail over the kitchen counter, you felt your heart becoming soft and trembling.
Your life was ruined.
“What the fuck am I gonna do?” you cried, feeling Soonyoung spin you at your shoulders until he was right in front of you, alcohol dampening the air between you.
“What do you mean? You’re gonna confess to him. You guys are literally in love with each other” He said it as if it was the easiest thing in the world. As if you hadn’t been best friends since freshman year; as if you didn’t know his favorite animal cracker shape and the exact model of his everyday sneakers.
“I can’t do that.”
“Yes, you can.”
“I can?”
“COMINGGG THROUGHHHHHHHH!” Frat-house dork Seokmin pushed between you and Soonyoung with a sky-high Vernon on his trail. Vernon shimmied apologetically, eyes sunken and red. “Getting cross-faded,” he supplied helpfully.
“As you should,” Soonyoung mumbled, slightly peeved in his tone, but Seokmin and Vernon seemed too intensely high to notice his disdain. You were too floaty to be offended by their sudden intrusion. The party, the floor, the music, the stench of sweat had become distant and you felt very alone with your heart. And Kwon Soonyoung, of course.
“You can! Right now! I’ve been telling you for months!” He shook you by your shoulders, apparently sensing your distance. You looked up at him with furrowed brows, tugging at the strapless end of your short, glittery dress. “But he’s-” you inhaled sharply. “He’s not gonna love me back, Soon.” Soonyoung cut you off with a scoff. “He’s so in love with you! He looks at you like you’re the only girl in the…”
Soonyoung trailed off, eyes peering past you into the crowd. “Oh shit,” His eyes widened, settled on you, then flicked back up. What the fuck was he looking at? “Uh, as I was-” you moved to look, struggling against his suddenly deadly grip on your shoulders “- no, don’t look!” He moved to stop you, but it was too late. You scanned the crowd with narrowed eyes, finding yourself confused as to what he’d been crying about. That is until you saw him. Red bomber now discarded, Chan had removed himself from the couch and was currently grinding on your biochem-classmate, Irene.
Oh. Okay.
You felt like cold hands grabbed onto your throat from within, as it contracted and tears stung your eyes. There it went, your heart and all its pieces on the floor, and weighing you down like an anchor, was the knowledge that you’d spend the rest of your life picking them up.
”God fucking damnit. This is awful, I’m awful,” your head was spinning, and you could barely make out how your fishnetted legs started moving, let alone how the tips of Soonyoung’s fingers brushed against your bare back to pull you back to him. You needed to get out. Out, out, out.
You squeezed through the tight crowd, avoiding the gaze of your classmate Seungcheol, who tried to smile at you from where he stood. This had to be some sort of mistake. Some sort of illusion brought upon you by the rhythmic movements and the loose slip of alcohol. Maybe you were hormonal? You didn’t know, but you couldn’t think while some bass-boosted playlist built dams of pressure on the sides of your head.
You finally squeezed through the door, closing it behind you and locking away that cursed, wretched memory. The further you got, the fainter the image of him. By the time you were slipping out of the hallway and into the yard, you could almost convince yourself that it was a mistake. A foolish moment, that you would tuck away and keep in a locked chest.
God, you were cold, shivering in your scrappy fabrics, as you slid down the brick wall by a flower bed, staring into the sky. It was the fourth of July, and your chest had exploded in fireworks while looking at your best friend. Every line had simultaneously been crossed and uncrossed.
You had realized it just a few minutes ago, just standing in the kitchen, when Wonwoo from history had asked you for a lighter. It had just been a graze, but you’d still felt it, in the faraway reaches of your purse. Amongst crumbs, concealer, a couple unraveled cigarettes and wired earphones with only one working side. What was that? You’d handed Wonwoo the lighter and then dug around for it again. A little slip of paper, edges soft and worn. You pulled it up.
It was just a drawing. A little scribbled dinosaur. God, you couldn’t even remember when he’d given it to you. But there you were smiling at it. And then looking at him. And then you knew.
You started crying. Hot, fat tears dripped down your cheeks, and your lips were trembling, and suddenly your body was stuttering and convulsing against the wall, and you were in love with your best friend and he was obviously not in love with you.
“Y/n?”
You snapped your head towards the door and the person you wanted to see the least in that moment (that thought made you cry even more, because when had you ever wanted anyone but him by your side when you were upset?) was peeking his blonde haired head through the door. Chan had such a heavy frown, looking down at you from the wide opened doorway.
“Hey, hey, what’s wrong, sweetheart?” He was immediately crouching down, hand burning hot on your back, stroking the muscles. Another hand on your knee and it was all too much, so you pushed him away. He backed off immediately, and you wished you missed the flash of hurt on his face. He looked at you with so much worry. “What happened?”
He was sitting across from you on the pavement and you couldn’t bear to see him, lit geometrically by the moonlight and the explosions in the sky, brows creased. Averting your eyes, you fiddled with the edge of your dress and sniffled. What were you supposed to say? It was hard to say anything. You fought down the tears pressing at your eyes again, swallowing your emotions before you looked at him again, almost robotically.
“I’m fine,” you said, nodding, and only adding more when his face twisted in confusion. You were always honest with each other, he thought, why were you lying? “It’s stupid, I’m.. I’m on my period and my hormones are just.. Bleugh.” You found it in yourself to giggle.
Silence, only decorated with the constant stream of fireworks and distant laughter of drunk college kids. Chan studied you for a moment, legs crossed and arms slung over his knees. “Cheol said you looked upset.”
“Yeah, I, uh, I was thinking of that sad dog movie.”
Another pause. “Old Yeller.”
The distance between you had never felt wider and you were certain Chan could feel it too.
“You know you can tell me anything right?” You wished your laughter hadn’t been so heart-achingly bitter. He looked so confused. All he wanted to do was make you feel alright, why wouldn’t you let him?
A nod. “Yeah,” you breathed in deeply, tear-streaked makeup drying from the gentle wind. “I know.”
The air had become so thick, you had to gulp down breaths. Chan cocked his head to the side and looked at you soulfully. You were staring at your knees, nervously playing with your fingers, and a flush had crept up your neck to the very tops of your shiny cheeks. He sighed. “I can get, uh,” he hesitated for a moment, “I can get Soonyoung down here. If you want.” You nodded before he was even done talking. Anything was better than sitting across from him - not now. This time you knew better than to look at his face, because you knew your entire facade would break down the moment you’d catch the frown on his face at those words.
The moment Chan left, you sighed so deeply, relief and despair coming in a pair to crash over you like a wave. Soonyoung came not two minutes later and, ever the great comforter, immediately tried to make you laugh, sitting in the grass right in front of you.
“Oh my god,” he put on his best Jennifer Coolidge voice, “you look like the fourth of July!”
_____________________________
Your first instinct was to hide - to turn over a stone and lay under it without breathing. Maybe then, if you separated yourself from him the feelings would simply dissipate, like perfume throughout the day. But you and Chan had a ridiculous amount of classes together, - something you used to enjoy and cherish - and every interaction had become half-awkward.
What also didn’t help is that him and Irene did not seem to just be a party fling. You were walking the halls with him, backpack slung across your shoulder, and listening to him drone on and on about a date.
“I think it’s the blonde,” he explained, “I think she likes the blond.” He peeked his eyes over to you, as you walked and you nodded. “It looks good,” you smiled, heart crushing when his face lit up, that sharky smile playing on his lips. “Right? But I don’t know what to wear. I don’t think she liked my jacket. You know, at the party.” At the mention of the party, his giddy expression faded a little, eyes flicking back to look at you again.
You’d been different since then. A little quiet and every word a little strained, every breath a huff, every smile somewhat unable to reach your eyes. He knew something was wrong, but he couldn't figure out what. For the life of him, Chan couldn’t. You’d told him when you got a tampon stuck a couple months ago, you’d told him about your awful dates, about your most embarrassing moments in your life. Something had to be serious, he thought, watching the way your eyes had become darker and sunken, for you to shut him out completely.
“Y/n,” he said and his voice was abruptly so, so soft. His hand came to cradle your own, stopping you in your tracks. Your eyebrows cinched together when you looked at the way his thumb caressed your knuckles. “You are okay, right?” and all of a sudden he was so close to you, head bopping downwards to catch your eyes, a little breath becoming humid on your cheek. For just a split second, he saw how scared you were, an emotion that took up all the space in your head, widened eyes darting up to his. Then it was gone. You smiled a tight line, ripping your hand from his. “I’m good. I’d be better if we actually made it to class on time.”
You were bouncing away and for a few moments he stood still, watching you.
“Alright,” he whispered to himself.
_____________________________
You and Chan met through Seungcheol. It was your first year and you were fresh-faced, young and a totally different person. It was your first biochem project and the teacher had paired you with Seungcheol - Seungcheol, who you just so happened to know was amongst the most popular guys at school. He was sweet though, if not a little slow, but he was excited to get into the project and had invited you to his place to study. You had graciously accepted, seeing as your roommate-situation at the time was less than ideal.
You had just hunkered down with stacks of books and laptops open on his desk, when Seungcheol got a call; to this day you’re not sure about the specifics of it, and all the information you’d later been able to pry from Seungcheol was that “Jeonghan was in trouble”. Whatever the case, the man had taken the phone and immediately taken on a crease in his forehead and a small frown on his lips, before apologizing profusely and promising that he’d be back in 20 minutes or so.
And there you were, wearing a dress and hairclips and sitting idly at his desk, while his roommate sat, just a few feet from you, on his bed with a controller and a headset on. That was the first time you saw Lee Chan. He had sharp eyes that you found intimidating at the time - especially with the focused grimace he wore, something you later found endearing. And, of course, you knew he was popular as well. How couldn’t he be, when his muscles were showing through his t-shirt, and he looked beautiful even in the domestic state you found him in. Maybe especially in that situation.
“D’you wanna see me play?” he’d asked, eyes not even leaving the screen. “Um,” your voice was meek, “sure.”
Seungcheol didn’t come home for another three hours. The sky turned from a bright blue into an orange hue outside the campus-curtains, and you sat cross-legged beside Chan on his bed, watching him play Overwatch. Had it been anyone else, you were sure this would’ve been the longest, most awkward three hours of your life. But for whatever reason, you and Chan just clicked. It was all laughter and smiles, and it felt like you had known each other forever. Fate had whisked the two of you together with a gentle push. That was two years ago.
Chan defied all your expectations. Surely, a young man who was attractive and popular would be an asshole, you’d thought, but he was so sweet, something that was most apparent when he smiled and laughed, eyes becoming crescents and toothy grin becoming sharp at the upturned edges.
Maybe you’d always liked him. You’d started reflecting on your relationship after that party, and came to realize that there’d always been a faint mist in your chest. A soft hum that drummed within your ribcage, when you saw him. It was warm, pleasant and constant when you felt his warmth at your side.
And sure, your relationship had had its moments. You distinctly remembered sitting between his legs while watching a movie once, and how you’d been so uncertain if he was okay with the skinship. His face behind your ear, you heard the smile in his voice, as his hands ran along your arms: “It’s okay, N/n. I’m cool with this if you are.”
You found yourself thinking about that often, but now there was a distinct pain to the memory. It was especially painful, when the gap between you and Chan was widening with every day. He tried to reach out, tried to catch you in the halls, but you were always “busy”.
Chan caught on to the fact that you were avoiding him when you started showing up late to classes, just so you wouldn’t have to walk with him; hear him talk about Irene, while that once soft drum had become a marching band in your chest. So you scrambled inside 5 minutes late, much to the dismay of your professors, and found a spot with some random classmate - far away from Chan. You’d have your eyes turned to the board, but you couldn’t focus, not really. Like a constant thorn in your side, you felt Chan’s sharp eyes across the room, boring into with such an intensity you thought you might catch on fire. Scribbling useless notes and focusing your energy - what little energy you had - on the class, you determinedly avoid his eyes. Had you seen them, never once darting astray from your form, you’d see the tenderness they held. “Why are you avoiding me?” His eyes said.
And then: “Why are you avoiding me?” his mouth said, out of breath from chasing after you in your hurried exit. You turned to him, almost bleeding into the blue of the accented-wallpaper. His eyes softened at your wounded expression. You were gently ripping apart at the wish to see him and be around him, with simultaneous urge to ignore him and become free from his scrutinizing gaze. He would never not know that something was wrong.
He scanned the crowded hallway, and gently, almost as if testing the waters (which he hadn’t felt the need to do in years) placed a hand on your upper arm. “Come on.”
You gave in. God, it was so easy to give in. You missed him. You missed him like a fish might miss water, had it been taken away from it. You missed him like a priest misses God, when his presence ebbs away and the sky is suddenly so very empty. So it was so easy to be led on, to sit down in the passenger of his car and just close your eyes and enjoy how it felt to be beside him. Chan scanned you as he drove, laying there with closed eyes, willing yourself to not look at him again, and realize you had to throw this all away.
He said nothing that entire car ride. Maybe he sensed the desperate need you felt to just have this silence. You clung to it as if it were tangible, as if someone would take it away. He would, once you entered his apartment. Seungcheol was nowhere to be seen. You placed yourself on bed and played with the fraying edges of his IKEA duvet cover.
“I miss you.” he said. You sighed, pursing your lips and looking at your fingers. “I miss you too.”
“You’re avoiding me,” he said, only a faceless presence in your peripheral.
“I’m not avoiding y-...” you trailed off when he crouched down in front of you, your entire vision cursed (or blessed?) with his frustrated face. “You are,” he said, eyes boring into yours. You trembled. “I’m not, I’m just busy.” He backed away, sulking, and you tried not to make it obvious that you heaved in a shaky breath from the proximity. “I can tell when you’re lying, you know?”
You laid down on the bed, arms crossing over your chest as if you were a corpse. Was there a way out of this, you wondered. Every glance, every touch, and every word that dropped from his mouth poked and prodded at you sadistically.
“I’m not lying.”
You heard fumbling and raised your head to see Chan, having discarded his shirt, putting on a new one and you cringed at how your heart sped up, seeing his toned stomach, before it disappeared under a sweater. “What are you doing?” you asked. He sighed. He glanced at you before studying himself in the full-length mirror Seungcheol had stolen from Mingyu.
“I’m going on a date with Irene in, like, twenty minutes.”
A pause. You sat up.
“Oh.”
He went on, throwing around scattered clothes and grappling for a cologne in his bag. “I’m sorry, I can’t cancel this, I don’t think she’ll really appreciate it,” he laughed a little. Throwing his head over his shoulder, his smile faded when he sensed your sorrow. His heart hurt then, so he moved, freshly spritzed with the cologne you bought him last Christmas, to stand in front of you on the bed. Your breath hitched when his hand found your cheek and he was suddenly dripping with sincerity and an emotion you really hoped wasn’t pity. “I just- I really wanted to talk to you, Y/n. I’m really worried about you.” You leaned into his hand pathetically, almost whimpering against it. You missed how his embrace felt. His thumb brushed over your cheek and he lingered there, eyes trained on you for just a moment - perhaps a moment too long - before he pulled away.
Suddenly he was putting on a jacket and ruffling his hair in the mirror again. “If you want you can stay here until I come back? It’ll only be, like, an hour and a half, two hours. Cheol will be home soon, he can keep you company.”
“Yeah, maybe,” your eyes were huge, when you willed yourself to stare at the floor. Chan must’ve sensed the meekness in your voice, because he looked over at you through the mirror, a frown on his lips. “I promise we’ll talk, I just- I don’t wanna disappoint Irene.”
It ached when you responded: “There’s nothing to talk about, Channie. I’m fine.”
“I’ll see you in a couple of hours?” you only nodded half-heartedly.
“Bye, N/n.”
“Bye, Channie.”
He left with a rustle of his keys, and when the door was closed, your body contracted, muscles pulling inwards until you were hugging your knees in his sheets. And you were crying because it smelled like him, and because he had held your cheek with such care, only to leave moments later for another woman. Everything you held dear, every moment you lingered on was just one-sided. Your tears were crystalline confinements for your most treasured memories with him and you were bleeding out on his bed, sliced in the heart.
It was Seungcheol who found you there like that, curling up in his roommate’s bed with painful sobs squeezing your whole body. You told him. Maybe you shouldn’t have, but you did. “I love him,” you cried, and Seungcheol stroked your back, as he listened. “And he doesn’t love me back.”
You apologized abashedly when you had calmed down, but Seungcheol only tutted and shook his head. “That’s what friends are for,” he’d said and patted your hair, and you giggled even though you felt all silly with your red face and your puffy eyes. The older man promised not to say anything, and you found yourself trusting him completely. You bid your goodbyes and felt a little lighter.
When Chan came home a heavy duvet of regret settled in his stomach. You were gone, only the faint mist of your perfume left behind in his room. When night fell, he slept on a bed stained with your tears.
_____________________________
A week passed and you spent every moment alone in your dorm room, ignoring papers and deadlines in favor of lying completely still under the covers. Soonyoung came over with food every once in a while, and always left devastated at how completely disarranged you were. He felt powerless and if there was one thing Kwon Soonyoung didn’t like, it was feeling powerless.
That was how you found yourself in a very John Mulaney-like situation on a monday afternoon, sitting before Soonyoung and, surprisingly, Seungkwan, Soonyoung’s roommate, in a nearby café.
“What is this?” you asked, arms crossed and leaned back in your seat, unimpressed. Soonyoung smiled sheepishly, sliding a paper across the table. It read “Intervention” in big, bubbly letters, colored with cheap highlighters. “An intervention?” you said incredulously.
“Yes, we’re worried about you!”
“He’s worried about you. I’m skipping physics for this,” Seungkwan butted in.
“The community is worried about you,” Soonyoung gave a harsh glare to the younger boy, who was mirroring your distaste for the current situation. “So we’re hosting an intervention.”
“This is bullshit,” you said. “Agreed,” came Seungkwan.
“Alright, you two! Let Daddy explain,” Hoshi waved his arms in outrage and the two of you groaned at the word choice. “Y/n. I am sick and tired of watching you cry and cry and sit at home over a boy who is fricken’ in love with you!”
“Did you just say ‘fricken’?”
“Unimportant. The point is get your act together and tell him or get over him!” Soonyoung was determined. While you felt his point of view was certainly unfair to you, your demeanor gave way a little. He was right, you knew. This was ruining you more than you’d care to admit. “You are worth so much more than this.”
“As much as I hate to contribute to this, Soonyoung has been telling me all about.. Your situation, and I have to say I agree. I thought you and Chan were dating until Soonyoung told me this,” Seungkwan said, smiling sympathetically at you. You frowned. “It doesn’t matter what you guys think, you know. He doesn’t see me like that.. It just fucking hurts.”
“If he doesn’t see you like that, then fuck him--”
“Don’t say that, Soonyoung--”
“You need to put your energy into a man who will know your worth!” Soonyoung sassed and Seungkwan snapped his fingers once for emphasis, face totally blank.
“I know you’re right, okay?” you reasoned, sighing. “It’s not as simple as that. I know you want to help, Soonyoung, but.. I just need time.”
Soonyoung deflated, but he understood. I guess he was a little powerless in this situation. Even Seungkwan, who definitely was not thrilled about missing physics, smiled sorely. You watched them and hated yourself for bringing worry to everyone around. Like an oil spill in the ocean, your black mass infected everything around you. They’d done nothing and here you were, parading your sadness like My Chemical Romance in 2006.
“Thank you anyway.”
_____________________________
Chan was theorizing. There were only so many things that could happen so suddenly, that could make you push him away like this. He hadn’t seen you in a week and he’d begun biting his nails again. Every waking moment had become consumed with this question: why? Why were you acting like this? Irene would pointedly comment on how quiet he was being, and his lies came like flowing water.
Chan was certain that he’d never experienced anything harder than watching you unravel everyday. Every morning more disheveled than the last, every smile more dull. Let me help you, he’d think, watching you slump in your seat on the other side of the room, running an unsteady hand over your face. You’d even found a way to avoid him after class. Day after day he’d run after you when you sped out of class, and when he reached the hallway where students were pouring out, you’d be gone like a faint ghost.
Irene ended things with him over a text. “I just don’t see us working out anymore,” it’d read and lying in his room he’d sighed quietly. He couldn’t bring himself to care. The text diverted his attention for only a minute, before he was staring at the ceiling again, thinking of you. It had to have something to do with him somehow. But no matter how much he scrutinized every interaction you’d had, he came up blank.
“Are you okay?” It was Seungcheol, standing in the doorway and hanging his jacket on their clothing rack while eyeing him. He’d hardly heard him come in. Chan heaved a sigh, long lines of worry oozing out of him.
“Y/n’s been acting really weird with me. I can’t figure out if it’s something I did,” Chan squeezed his eyes shut. “I just want her to be okay.”
Seungcheol frowned sympathetically. “Maybe you should just leave her alone.” Chan’s eyes sprung open and he grimaced, before ruffling the sheets where he sat up on the bed. Seungcheol was settling himself onto his bed, phone in hand and head against the headboard. “Why are you saying that?”
For a moment, Seungcheol flashed his brown eyes with a hint of ‘oh shit’ in them, before they relaxed and he regained composure. “I don’t know, maybe she just needs some time away from you.”
A pause swallowed the room. Chan studied his friend with furrowed brows. “Did she talk to you?”
“Uh-”
“You know why she’s acting like this!” Chan raised his voice, weeks of frustration crackling in the pit of his stomach. He stood up, so he could tower over Seungcheol’s bed. “Relax, man, I don’t know anything-”
“You do! Tell me what’s going on, Seungcheol-” Only a few words had been shared, but they’d tugged at the right strings, and suddenly Chan’s muscles were tightened as they buried into Seungcheol’s collar. The older man scowled and wrapped his hands around his roommate’s wrists in warning. Chan’s hold untightened and unscrewed and he slumped in on himself like a piece of paper, “please, Seungcheol, please. I’m going crazy.”
Seungcheol’s gaze softened. He pushed the boy’s hands away and sat up on the bed, voice a low, solemn grumble. “I can’t tell you.”
“Fucking please, Seungcheol. What if something happened to her? At that party. I keep thinking about it, how I wasn’t with her, and what if some asshole harassed her or something. I googled it and Google said women can feel lost, lonely and embarrassed over stuff like that,” Chan started pacing. “And then I was thinking what if it was a friend of ours? And maybe that’s why she doesn’t want to tell me, but, of course, I’d support her in anything she told me.”
Chan stilled in his wandering across the narrow floorspace. “Can you at least tell me she’s okay?”
All sharp eyes and blonde hair and panted breaths Chan stood in the middle of the room and waited for Seungcheol to tell him that you were okay. Chan would’ve even been at peace with Seungcheol telling him that you never wanted to see him again, fuck, as long as you were fine and you still laughed and smiled, even if it was with Soonyoung and not him.
But the answer didn’t come. Seungcheol frowned and fiddled with his watch. “I don’t think so, man.”
Whatever ties had held Chan back before snapped. He stood still for maybe three seconds in the unlit room, before his body burst into action and he was scrambling for his jacket and keys.
“Fuck this.”
Sprinting down monotonous corridors, a hard-headed Chan let wisps of blonde hair flow behind as the air kissed his cheeks. He wore the crease in his brow that had become permanently etched onto his features. Chan had a one track mind; maybe that’s why things didn’t - wouldn’t - work out with Irene. Currently, the record spinning was you and he’d gone damn near insane, so this time he’d made up his mind. He was not leaving until you talked to him. Whisking past door after door in the quiet nighttime, catching Wonwoo exiting some random dorm and smiling sheepishly, he ignored him and braved forward.
It was not until he was standing right in front of your door that he hesitated. The door framed his figure entirely, trapping him within its confines. What if Seungcheol was right? What if he was making things worse?
But for Chan, he wasn’t sure that he could go any lower. Every day had become a new rock bottom, every day that you avoided him, every moment wondering what he could have possibly done. He missed your smile. So then he was knocking at your door.
“Fuck off, Soonyoung, I’m not going to anymore interventions!” you yelled, voice hoarse from beyond the door. Intervention? Had you developed a drug problem? He knocked again and heard you groan, before heavy footsteps thumped towards him.
“What do you want, Soonyo-” you paused, door half-creaked open. Your eyes were two moons, and your nose and cheeks were red. “Chan,” you breathed, voice nasally from a stuffy nose. Chan said nothing, only pushed past you to get inside. You sniffled.
Your heart was a bomb, or maybe a firework. Chan had lit the fuse and standing before him, where he was half lit in the middle of your room, you knew it was only a matter of time before it exploded, chest blazing with a parade of colors for the fourth of July. Because it was him, a greek fucking god in your toy-decorated room, in his sweatpants and a white t-shirt, and it was you, wimpish and thoroughly out of order, in pyjama shorts and a pink sweater.
“Come. Here.” He wasn’t asking. You nodded and took two steps, and the moment you were within arms reach he enveloped you in his chest. His arms were so strong and warm, one wrapping around your waist and the other bunching up your hair to keep you pressed into him. Your cheek bunched up against his heart, you closed your eyes and heard how fast it was beating. He was scared.
“Talk to me,” you could hear it, too, the fear. His voice was trembling and even though you couldn’t see his face you could imagine his brown eyes glazed over and lips in a pout. The thought squeezed at your heart.
“I’m sorry,” you whispered. He squeezed his eyes shut at the raspiness in your voice. “Don’t be, just talk to me. Please,” his voice was a wavering breath. He pulled away, head ducking down to peer into your eyes. Your cheeks burned and you looked away, becoming completely enamored with the white of his shirt, just for the sake of not seeing his eyes. Then both his hands were on your cheeks, a little harsh at first, but then softening. “Look at me.”
He leaned closer, one hand straying from your cheek to hold you by the back of the head. “Look. At. Me.” he gritted his teeth and you felt the warmth of his face hitting yours. You did. You looked at him, saw him again, really, the guy you’d been avoiding and simultaneously praying closer to you standing before you like a kicked puppy. Suddenly you were crying. It felt like he’d turned you inside out.
“No, no, no, don’t cry, pretty, talk to me, talk to Channie, okay?” he frowned before he was pushing your face closer, nosing your cheek and hair, just a big baby in front of you, with hot and humid breaths on your freshly wetted skin when his lips brushed over it. His hand on the back of your head was only urging you closer, and his back was hunched in a long arch just so he could be with you, as close to you as possible.
And while his touch was bliss for a moment, the reality of it came crashing down, and your hands waved him off, taking a step back, which Chan followed with a step forward. He looked so hurt, hands held out for you to take but you shook your head.
“Don’t- Don’t do this to me, Chan. Not when-” you were shaking when you reached up to rub over your eyes. “Not when- Not when you have Irene to go back to.”
“Irene?” He asked incredulously, almost in outrage, almost as if the thought hadn’t even crossed his mind. It spurred you on. “That’s what this is about?”
“No!” you cried, “Or- yes, I don’t know.”
Chan was silent for a few moments when you began pacing, hands over your eyes. “You were jealous?”
“No- That’s not the point!” your lip trembled when you removed your hands and looked at him again, his arms at his sides, now that he didn’t have you to hold.
“We were never going to stop being friends, you know-” his voice was quiet and yours overpowered his easily, when you screamed at him to say: “I didn’t want to be friends!”
Boom goes the dynamite, indeed. Fireworks filled every crevice of your ribcage.
“Because I love you,” you paused only to flick your eyes over to his, and you sucked in the fear. Your voice shook when you continued: “And I think I have for- for, like, a year? And I only realized on the fourth of July and there you were with Irene, and I just… And I thought if I backed off these feelings would go away, because you obviously don’t-”
“Irene broke up with me,” his voice was much quieter than yours. You wanted to scream and cry and yell, because what did that matter? Why did that matter when it changed nothing? But then he spoke again: “She broke up with me because I kept thinking about you.”
Silence. It hit you that Chan was not informing you, he was telling himself this.
“Yeah,” he scratched at the back of his neck and chuckled dryly, “I kept being quiet on our dates, ‘cause I was thinking about you. I guess she sensed it.”
You were looking at each other in the dim lights. He was so beautiful, cheeks shiny and soft lashes curling over his lids. You sniffled. “Does that mean that you-”
Yes.
Yes, it did, because before you could even finish your sentence he was taking a step forward and his hand was on your cheek again and this time his lips were on yours and fireworks, fireworks exploded in your chest and on your lips like bursts of static, but this time it wasn’t pained, it was beautiful, and you’re melting into his hold, just as he was yours. Lips moving in perfect unison, he tilted his head down and you tilted yours up, and grabbed his neck, and his other hand slid onto your waist, resting there, as the two of you rocked under the artificial light of your overhead lamp.
Everything you yearned for was in your hands and you didn't dare to pull away, only whimpering when you ran out of breath, and chasing his lips when he pulled away to breathe. He chuckled, mouth curved upwards in that beautiful smile that you love. You love it, and there’s no point in hiding it. He pressed his forehead against yours and you’re panting into each other’s mouths.
“I love you too,” he said. You grinned, a perfect blush spread across your rounded cheeks, and his heart soared so much that he had to kiss you again, pecking and mumbling it again and again against your lips: “I love you, I love you, I love you.”
His tongue slid over your lip and you opened your mouth with a squeak. His tongue was wet and warm in your mouth and his hands were suddenly on your hips, pushing them into his. Then he pulled away, blushing himself when a string of spit connects you. “Is this okay?” he asked, so softly, so gently, and you nodded, flushed and out of breath and pathetically desperate.
“Yes,” you whined, “need you so bad.” He cooed when you pressed your hips into his, long fingers brushing hair out of your face. “Channie’s gonna take care of you. Channie’s gonna make it up to you,” and yet again it's almost like he was saying it to himself, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care when he lowered the two of you onto your bed. Hair strands stretched from their roots in your head, when you hit your plush pillow, and you were all shiny and sparkling eyes, laid out before him in a way that he never dared to imagine. “Too pretty,” he whispered, kissing you again.
He was grinding into you, anchoring himself on your waist and whimpering into the corner of your mouth at the feeling of your warm center through your shorts. “Baby, need you so bad. Can I take this off?” he tugged at your shirt and you nodded, unable to get anything out but whines. He pulled off the pink fabric, marveling at your bare chest before him. Of course, he’d seen it before, in tight shirts, on days where you’d decided to forgo a bra, and he’d always cursed himself for imagining the real thing. “You’re so beautiful,” he cried, as he hit your core just right and he stared at your tits’ slight jiggle.
“Such a pretty baby, so ready for me, can I touch them, please, please?” he was babbling, somehow already pussydrunk, but you were no better, eyebrows cinched together in pleasure, nodding without even an ounce of hesitation at his request. He groped at your chest, thumbs brushing over the hardened buds, before he ducked his head down to suck on one. You’re gasping, as his tongue flicked over you, hands tangling themselves in his hair, moaning his name into the air. He hummed loudly, and you felt a thick glob of wetness escape your pussy at just the sight of him, hunched over you like a wild animal, panting into your chest.
“You’re so pretty,” you whispered and he let go of your tit with a small ‘pop’, lifting his head to look at you. He was grinning ear to ear, face still hovering over your chest. “Am I?” and suddenly he was so cocky, hand cupping your heat through your shorts, and watching as you buck into his hand with a strangled moan. “Needy girl, need pretty Channie to touch you, hm?” He teased, fingers gently rubbing over the fabric of your damp shorts.
“Please,” you whined, thrashing in the sheets, desperate enough to cry. He cooed and shushed you, hovering over you by one, strong arm: “Shh, sweetheart, shh, I know. I got you, I’ll make you feel good.” As much as Chan wanted to make you beg, he was desperate too, and he couldn’t help the slight guilt of what you’d been through. The thought almost made him frown, but he pushed it away and peeled off your shorts and underwear in one swoop.
You cried out when his fingers were finally sliding through your folds. Your eyes, half closed, flicked up to see him, gaze trained on your core in amazement. “You’re so wet, baby,” he purred, spreading the warm slick up to your clit to start circling it with two fingers. “Just for you- Mngh!”
He plunged two fingers into you with ease, wetness coating his fingers to let them slide in. You were panting and thrashing and moaning his name, and he just watched with the biggest hardon he’d ever had, how he made you feel good and how pretty you were, and how much he never wanted to pull his fingers out of your sopping wet heat.
“Do you want my fingers in your mouth?” he asked, and you squeezed your eyes shut and nodded vigorously. “Hey, hey,” the fingers that weren’t plunging in and out of you and curling into your pussy’s sweet spot, squeezed your chin. Your eyelashes fluttered open, and you stared at him with blown out eyes. “You gotta look at me while you do it.”
Then his fingers prodded at your lips, and you opened them with a whine, willing yourself to keep them open, to see how he smiled adoringly down at you. They were filling you just right, one hand stuck in your pussy and the in your mouth, teasing over your tongue. Your orgasm was approaching, knotting in your stomach, embarrassingly fast.
He groaned at the sight of you, looking up at him with huge, adoring eyes while sucking his fingers. “Fuck, fuck, good girl, such a good, appreciative girl, taking my fingers wherever she can.” You clenched around him at that, and he chuckled knowingly. “Yeah, you like being my good girl? Fuck, you’re gonna make me cum in my fucking pants.”
You released his fingers only to moan - almost scream - his name, as you came around his fingers, curling into you and working you through your orgasm. “That’s it, sweetheart. Cum on Channie’s fingers. Look so pretty when you cum.”
You were still dazed on your bed in the glimmering aftermath of your post-orgasm, when you heard Chan shuffling beside you, and then he was leaning over you once again, shirt and pants discarded and cock proud and stiff and leaking precum onto your stomach. You groaned at the sight, hand trailing over his exposed stomach, where abs dipped and rose, glistening softly. Then your thumb caressed and pressed against his slit and he hissed, dropping his head into the crook of your neck.
He nosed at your neck, pecking a little, before speaking, voice too strained and too pretty: “Can I fuck you, baby? Please, please, I need to feel you around me so bad.” He had shut his eyes tight, fighting the urge to grab hold of your back and press your tits into his chest.
“Please,” you came back equally as whiny, writhing in his hold, where his thumb was rubbing soft circles in your hip bone. “Please, wan’ your cock. Need it.” He smiled into your neck, grabbing your head and kissing your cheek. “So cute.”
You felt the head of his cock slide through your still impossibly wet folds, then pressing against your entrance. You were murmuring his name over and over and he was panting into your neck and licking a stripe of wet glistening saliva onto it, as he began to push in.
You were writhing so much he had to place his hands on your hips to still you, whispering soft reassurances until he was pushed all the way, clit pushed into his abdomen. You’re so full, you can’t stop the wanton moans at the feeling of his pretty, red cock, every bulge and vein pressed against your gummy walls. “You’re so fucking tight,” he spat, fearful that he’d spill his load into you immediately from the way you were clenching him. Then, slowly, he was rocking into you and the both of you were clambering onto one another. Your hands found his neck, his hair, his flexing biceps, and his your hips, waist, boob, and then clambering up to hold your face and look into your eyes.
“Look at me,” you almost didn’t catch the way he repeated those words from before, but you looked into his brown orbs, blonde hair curling over and tickling your forehead. “So fucking pretty, so cute, my little cumslut. Say you want my cum, baby, please, say it.”
“Wan’ your cum!” you cried, as he angled his cock inside you to press into that spongy spot. He was giving in to all his wants at your words, pulling you up by pressing his arms under your back, so your tits pressed against his chest, and he was nosing at your face again, trailing kisses everywhere he could reach. “So good for me, so pretty, all mine. Fuck, sweetheart.”
“All yours,” you babbled mindlessly, when his hand snaked between your bodies to rub circles into your clit. “Cum for me, cum for me, baby.”
His thrusts were growing sloppy, and you felt the knot tightening in you once more, pulled tight and ready to snap. “Cum, cum, come on, my pretty darling. Fuck, Y/n, I love you!”
At those words you came, pussy pulsating around his cock and clenching so tight, he was unsure if he could even pull out in time. He did though, pulling out just in time to see his seed spill all over your soft stomach.
Panting and out of breath, his arms gave out and he collapsed on top of you, body covering yours. “Ugh,” you groaned and looked up at you, laughing softly. “Chan, you’re heavy,” you complained. “I’m a weighted blanket,” he countered, but climbed off of you anyway, lying down next to you. You looked at him, with the side profile of a god, and his blonde hair tousled and chest rising and falling.
“You are pretty,” you said, and you could almost cry when he looked at you and blushed.
“You should’ve just told me,” he whispered, turning his head to gaze at you. You frowned and nodded. “But it doesn't matter now,” he reassured, one hand climbing from the sloping, bunched up duvet and running his hand through your hair. He tilted his gaze towards your cum covered stomach, some of it having smeared onto himself, and he pushed himself off the bed. "I'll get a towel."
Naked and divine, he disappeared into your small bathroom.
“Oh, God..” you groaned suddenly, face morphing into anguish.
“What?” Chan called from the bathroom.
“Soonyoung is going to be the most insufferable person on the planet when he finds out about this."
#lee chan x reader#chan x reader#lee chan smut#chan smut#dino smut#dino x reader#svt chan x reader#svt dino x reader#svt x reader#svt smut#svt angst#dino angst#chan angst#lee chan angst
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Emergency Contact
Genre: comfort fluff, chan's having a rough time
Relationship type: established boyfriend/girlfriend
Important Contents: slight swearing, Chan going through the stages of a panic/anxiety attack
WC: 2.4k
masterlist
The small moments I could sneak my boyfriend away from his work were few and far between. The few times it did work were a perfect storm of my big puppy eyes or a smile with just the right amount of head tilt and his need to get away from it all. Sometimes it was a member annoying him past his limit, sometimes it was his musical ear being drained and needing inspiration from the outside world. Other times, I was just too insistent and he couldn’t resist. Or so he said. But when he sat silently across the cafe table, watching the people pass by, I wondered which it was.
“Chris?” I nudged his foot with mine, his attention snapping back to me and my plastic cup of motivation to get the day done. His eyes were big, silently asking what I nudged him for then his shoulders slumped as realization hit him.
“I’m sorry, baby. I know I’m not the best company right now.” His gaze landed on his untouched pastry in front of him. I glanced at it, a sad smile involuntarily creeping on my face. It’s not as though he was usually talkative, but at least he looked at me from time to time.
“It’s okay, you just seem more distracted than usual. Is it Han again? Do I need to have another talk with him? Or Minnie? Is he making more old jokes? I swear, with all the karma he’s banking, he’ll go gray before you do.” Finally. A chuckle. A small sigh of relief escaped me as I watched him break off a piece of the croissant in front of him. I didn’t even know if he had eaten earlier. “You left before I got up this morning. Or did you sleep at the studio again?”
“I tried to sleep with you for a few hours but I didn’t really sleep that well.”
“Have you eaten today?” His hand stopped, his face dropping. “Christopher.” He looked like a kid who had been caught stealing cookies. “Please tell me this croissant is not the first time you’re eating today.” He didn’t move. “Christopher! It’s four in the afternoon!”
He laughed sheepishly, slightly embarrassed by the pink tint to his cheeks. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry, it wasn’t on purpose.” He shook his head at his lap. I could only shake my head at him, a mixture of slight disappointment and exasperation clear.
“Well you know I have to get another for you before you go, right? Even if I have to sneak it in your bag, you’re taking it. Maybe a sandwich too. Or a cake pop…”
“Hey now.” He broke me of my train of thought, that dazzling smile of his making my heart skip a beat. “I can buy my own food, thank you very much.”
“Well apparently not. Now do you want a sausage, egg, and cheese or a smoked ham?”
“I don’t want anything else than what I have in front of me.” He tried to wink at me too, but I was having none of it.
“Tell me which one you want or I’m getting both. And a cake pop.”
“Baby-” I got out of my seat and grabbed my wallet before he could continue his thought and half-sprinted for the counter, him hot on my tail. Luckily for me, the last person in line had just finished and was walking away, leaving the perfect window for me to rush straight to the girl behind the counter.
“Hi, can I get both the sausage egg, and cheese and the toasted ham breakfast sandwiches? Thank you.” As the payment terminal flashed with my total and within the two seconds it took to unzip my wallet, Chan had slipped his card on top of the screen. The terminal beeped with the acceptance of payment. I slapped Chan on his arm. Hard.
“Oh you’re so going to pay for that later.” He playfully smirked at me, staring at the screen to avoid my eyes.
“I thought I just did.”
*
*Incoming call from: Channie ❣️*
“Hello?”
Sniffles met me on the other line. My body immediately went still, ready to jump wherever I was needed. My world stopped when Chan was in trouble. Or anxious. Or pissed. Which, all of these emotions aside, he was a generally happy guy so it didn’t happen a lot. But when it did…
“Chris? Are you okay?” I whispered into my phone, trying not to let my voice carry to any prying ears that might be nearby. I stopped in the middle of the sidewalk quickly finding a bench off to the side to sit and put my bag down. There were more wet sounds coming from the phone, which only worried me more. He tried to be strong for us, for me and his bandmates. He tried not to let his emotions out too much, but I made sure he knew that I would be there when he did need to let them out. And this was the first time he was letting me in.
“Send me your location, I’m on my way. Don’t move, okay? I’ll be there soon.” I gathered my stuff again, ready to put down my phone to see his location.
“Don’t hang up.” More sniffles. A little part of me felt guilty for feeling relieved at being needed by him. I had always felt it was me going to him for my big feelings about the world. But this… This was new.
“I won’t. Where are you? Can you tell me where you are?”
“Studio.” He choked out. I nodded like he could see me and started in a slight sprint, knowing the way from the store I had just left, picking up some last minute shopping for the holidays. Luckily, I hadn’t found much, so I didn’t have many bags to carry while I ran.
“Chris, I’m on my way. Just stay put, okay? I’m coming. I’m not hanging up. Just breathe for me, baby. Take a deep breath whenever you can.” I heard some small whimpers coming from what sounded like further away, like he had set the phone down away from him. Whether he was trying to hide whatever noise he was making or what, I didn’t know. He hadn’t done a very good job because I heard everything. My veins tightened with the sudden rush of anxious adrenaline washing through me. Some ragged breaths came through the phone as the tall building I was running for came into view. The big letters on the top loomed overhead, like a constant reminder of its founder and the expectations set forth by it.
Sometimes some of the members would talk about how said expectations were too much sometimes. They felt like they couldn’t be fully themselves under the wing of such close eyes, so they would find ways to channel that energy into other things. Most of the time it was through their music, others it was through vlogs or what they called ‘talkers’ or outings with each other. Concerts were a big thing with them too. They had less supervision on tour, so they felt they could get away with more on the road. Should they ever push it too far, there were always consequences waiting for them here at home, but never so severe that they stopped pushing their boundaries. I guess anyone would feel that way if they had to push down the parts of themselves that made them...them.
Pushing through that revolving door, I waved at the security at the front desk and grabbed my permanent guest badge that Chris had saved for me to come in whenever he was here. As long as he was, I was free to enter. I wasn’t sure what deal he had to cut to get me this pass, but I figured that in my case, ignorance was bliss. Holding the phone to my ear, I pointed to it and strolled/sprinted past them and into the elevator.
“Just keep trying to breathe for me, okay? I need you to try and take a breath. You might start to get a little shaky if you haven’t already. But I’m here, I’m getting in the elevator now, I’m coming.” As the elevator dinged open to let out whoever was in there, Han stepped out, head down in his phone and mask up and covering half his face. He looked up and nodded to me, clearly not surprised I was here. If he didn’t say anything to me, then I assumed he didn’t know anything that was happening to the boy on the other end of my phone line. He would’ve been a good one to call seeing as he dealt with this kind of stuff the most to my knowledge.
Whatever force that pushed him to call me instead of one of his members, I wasn’t going to question it. I knocked softly on the studio door and let myself in. I looked around in the recording room, looking for the same boy I had seen earlier, his familiar black hat and clothing not catching my eye. But what I did see was an open file on the computer, open with the music application and unfinished. I turned once more to see my boyfriend, curled up in a ball and rocking against the wall. His phone was balancing precariously on his knee that was tucked into his chest and his head was resting on the wall with his eyes shut, like he was willing himself to calm down and keep his breathing under control. He wasn’t doing a very good job. It looked like…well, it looked like the aftermath of a panic attack.
“Chris… Chris, baby, I’m right here.” I shoved off my bag and threw it on the couch, where it landed with a small thud. I tossed my phone on top of it. I knelt down to be eye level with him and placed my hands on his bare knees, his loose shorts had ridden up down near his upper thighs. I thought the skin contact would be better to ground him, letting him feel that I was there if he couldn’t hear me very well. I squeezed his knee with slight pressure, just in case. His cheeks were visibly wet while he tried to breathe through his mouth. I watched his chest try to rise and fall, stuttering on the way out. His lips pursed out as he breathed, his hands latching onto mine on his knees. He gripped them like he thought I would fly away if he let go. I turned my hands over to thread our fingers together and he lowered his knees and pulled me by our connected hands so that I was sitting in his lap. He only let go of my hands when I was fully in and he could wrap himself around me fully.
I started rubbing his back, letting my nails graze him while my other hand went to the back of his head. He tucked his head into my shoulder until his breath was tickling the tiny hairs on my neck. I kissed the side of his head that I could reach.
And we stayed there.
*
“Any idea what brought it on? Or did it just come on out of nowhere?”
We were still on the floor, not quite as entangled as we were before but I was still in his lap, chomping on the food we had ordered bit by bit. I wouldn’t let him stop until I felt like he had actually eaten what was close to a meal, especially when I saw both sandwiches from the shop we went to this afternoon untouched in his bag. I might’ve had to force the first couple bites on him but a girlfriend had to do what she had to do, especially when he then ‘playfully’ demanded she spoon-feed him herself. He still wasn’t back to himself, but he was getting there.
“No idea.” He said softly, chewing through his thoughts. “Nothing really happened, I just…” He trailed off.
“It’s okay, Chan. Shit just…comes up sometimes. I know, I get it. These things can come out of nowhere and grip you and not let you go until it’s run its course. Maybe today was just your day.” He nodded in agreement, staring at the wall.
He had one hand wrapped around my waist, half to keep me steady on his leg and half, what I believed to be the real reason, because he simply didn’t want to let go. But the other hand he was resting on his opposite thigh. Every so often he would pick at his cuticle with one of his fingers but quickly stopped, probably thinking I wouldn’t notice.
“Do you think it had something to do with the upcoming album? Is it finished?” I pondered out loud. He quickly shook his head though, diminishing the thought.
“No, the album is done and approved. It wouldn’t be that.” If I had known any better, I would think he was almost offended I would suggest such a thing. And in his normal state, he might have been. “Even the choreography is done. The concept art, the photocard selection, it’s all done. I don’t know what happened.” His voice was slowly getting stronger as he thought what could be the source of his panic. “I don’t know. I really don’t.”
“You know, not everything has to have a reason.” He shrugged, not really liking that answer. “But I’m happy you called me.” He smiled softly at the floor.
“You were on my mind. You’re always on my mind. I just wanted to hear your voice. That was the only thing I could think of that might help, so I called you.” I couldn't fight my smile at that. And I tried hard.
“I would’ve been happy if you called anybody instead of facing it alone. You don’t have to face all your strong, negative emotions alone. That’s what we’re here for; your friends and me. We’re here for the good, bad, and ugly.”
“But I knew you would answer. I know… that I can depend on you when I need you.”
“And I’m so happy you know that now. As a fact, not just an idea.”
His arm grew tighter around me.
“If I ever go to the hospital or something, I’m making sure they call you.”
#stray kids#bang chan#skz#chan skz#skz bang chan#chan stray kids#chan x reader#chan x you#christopher bang#stray kids chris#chan fluff#chan angst#chan#bang chan x reader#bang chan boyfriend#bang chan scenarios#bang chan drabbles#chan drabbles#chan imagines#bang chan imagines#chan fic#bang chan fics#bang chan x female reader#bang chan x you#bang chan x y/n#stray kids imagine#stray kids chan fluff#stray kids channie#stray kids chan imagines#stray kids bang chan
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SIMP NOTES
PAIRING || lee chan x female reader
GENRES || fluff, strangers to lovers, college au, humour, love triangle, angst
SUMMARY || lee chan, college's critically acclaimed and certified (read: self-proclaimed) cupid was a hundred percent sure that his guide to love manual aka the simp notes worked just perfectly fine, seeing the number of campus couples he had managed to get together. until you came up with your complex romantic problem and chan finds his trustworthy notes betraying him, especially when he begins to fall for you.
or, in which, chan never thought he would be following his own simp notes to win over you.
WARNINGS || mentioned in the chapters!
A/N || presenting to you guys...*drum roll* simp notes! this is inspired by a fic i was writing long ago under the same name (i'm sorry ni @wonumatics) but i did tweak around a lot to fit this to chan's personality. also thank you to all of you once again for all the love and support you give me it means a lot to me and special thanks to the people who asked to be in the taglist even before i released the masterlist im just so happy you all are enjoying my work that much!
START DATE || 07.10.2023
END DATE || -
TAGLIST || open!
CHAPTERS ||
one. profile 1 !!! jop till you drop
two. profile 2 !!! rent sharers
three. 01 !!! third time's the charm
four. 02 !!! dark, dark history
five. 03 !!! lee chan's simp notes
six. 04 !!! operation honeyboo: step 1
seven. (bonus) !!! buy one get one free
eight. 05 !!! single like a pringle
nine. 06 !!! homework 2.0
ten. 07 !!! operation honeyboo: step 1 (cont.)
eleven. 08 !!! blue lock haikyu!!
twelve. 09 !!! stream guilty
© 𝐒𝐇𝐔𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐂𝐊 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑
#simp notes.#seventeen x reader#dino x reader#lee chan x reader#chan x reader#seventeen smau#seventeen fake texts#seventeen fluff#seventeen angst#dino fluff#dino angst#lee chan fluff#lee chan angst#chan fluff#chan angst#seventeen x you#lee chan x you#chan x you#dino x you
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I owe you a kiss
Pairing: Minho x Chan x fem!reader / Minchan x fem!reader
Word Count: 4344
Summary: As the upcoming comeback gets closer, Chan starts isolating himself from you and Minho, getting overwhelmed. He can't quite deal with feeling so much and nothing at all at the same time and takes it out on the two of you. Minho and you try to help your husband out.
Warnings/Tags: angst, fluff, argument, chan feels numbish, fear of flying, domestic married life, emotional hurt/comfort, angsty!chan, soft!min
A/N: I don't know where that came from, but enjoy me fabricating 4k of angst and domestic bullshit in like half an hour😭🥹
PART TWO
My mind is complicated
Find it hard to rearrange it
But I'll have to find a way somehow
Overreacting lately
Find it hard to say I'm sorry
Still - Niall Horan
You gently knock at the doorframe to your bedroom to avoid startling your husband and step inside. “You have everything you need, darling?”
Minho's currently packing his suitcase for his trip lasting a week. He looks up, gently blowing his hair from his eyes. “I think so, yes,” he flashes you a warm smile. After checking everything once more, he nods and throws the suitcase closed. "Where's our Channie love?" he asks, pulling the zipper closed and fidgeting with the lock.
"Working," Chan gives back from next door.
"Of course you are," he says more to himself, making you giggle. Over the past few days, Chan grew very quiet, burying himself in work and avoiding you for most of the time. It happened sometimes before a busy schedule, and Minho had learned to deal with the fact that Chan needed this to recharge. Minho, Chan and you had been dating for four years before tying the knot five years ago. He knows the two of you inside out by now after almost a decade. Minho strolls into Chan's working area and rests his hands on his shoulders. "Hey, there."
"Hey," Chan gives back, not looking up from his screen and staying seated at his desk.
"You're hungry? I can order something," he tells him, gently running his hand through his hair.
"Stop that," Chan grumbles and tilts his head away from him.
"Okay, sorry," Minho nods calmly and pulls his hands back. For a moment, the sound of Chan's fingers hitting the keyboard is all that can be heard. "So?" he asks, his patience starting to wear thin.
"I'll keep working," he shakes his head.
"Chan," Minho says firmly. "I'm leaving after that, and it would be nice to have lunch with my wife and my husband."
"Fucks sake, you're annoying," Chan sighs and waves him off. "I'll be there in a moment."
"Thank you," Minho rolls his eyes and makes his way downstairs. "Someone's in a mood," he grumbles as he leans against the kitchen island beside you.
“Don’t take it to heart, you know he gets sometimes,” you say soothingly, rubbing his shoulder. “What are we getting?”
“Whatever you want, honey,” he winks at you and lets you scroll through the options. “I don’t get him. It’s still a month until the album drops, and we have pretty much everything sorted out. Sure, I have to come up with two more dances, but that’s my issue, isn’t it?” he asks.
“You know Chan makes everything his responsibility,” you tell him and hand him back his phone. “He’ll calm down again; I’ll see what I can do.”
Minho sighs softly and orders the food, still seeming a little pissed off. Usually, Chan knows how much Minho needs a stable environment before a flight. He's scared of flying enough as it is, but especially when he's caught up in his thoughts. So it confuses you a little that he doesn’t seem to pay much attention to that today.
You call out for him twice as your food arrives until Chan finally joins you downstairs.
Chan's staring into the distance, pushing his food around on his plate and staying quiet as Minho and you keep on talking.
"Tastes good?" Minho asks after a while and gently nudges Chan beneath the table.
"Yeah, I guess," he shrugs and ignores the frown Minho gives him.
"How's work going, Channie?" you try your luck.
"Great," he simply says, shoving some food into his mouth, clearly signaling he doesn't want to talk right now.
"Good," Minho nods and sighs softly. "I'm a little nervous."
"Why?" he gives back, almost a little routined.
"I hate flying, as you know," he groans frustratedly.
"You did fine before," Chan shrugs and takes a sip from his drink. "It's just a flight."
"Yeah, that's the point, isn't it?" Minho asks, starting to get a little irritated.
"Don't be a baby, you'll manage," he says, and Minho stares at him, unable to come up with a proper answer.
"Thanks, very helpful," he presses out, gripping his glass tighter as his hand starts to shake. He has no time for a mental breakdown right now.
“Channie,” you sigh softly, deciding to step in. The last thing you want is Minho to leave like that.
Looking up, Chan sees the confusion and anxiety clouding Minho's eyes. "Sorry, Min, you're not a baby," he says, not very convincingly, but it seems to be better than nothing to Minho.
Minho glances at his watch and clears his throat. "I'll go and grab my stuff," he announces.
Chan rolls his eyes once he's gone and braces his head on his hand, staring out of the window. He wonders how the hell he'll be able to finish everything he has to do in so little time.
“Channie, angel?” you ask gently, and he hums in response. “At least try and be nice? He’s gone for a week after.”
“You two are fucking exhausting,” he groans, and you raise your eyebrows, ready to answer as Minho comes back downstairs.
You get up to collect the trash and decide to continue this talk later.
"I'll see you in a week then," Minho says gently, and Chan hums, agreeing. "You'll be okay?"
"Sure," he nods and stares into the distance.
Minho takes his hand and tries to meet his eyes. "Love?" he asks, and Chan very slowly turns to him. "You know you can call if you get overwhelmed or need help with anything."
"Mhm," he hums and pulls his hand from his hold.
"Okay," he chews on his lower lip for a moment. "Well, I'll be leaving then."
"Okay," he nods.
"Can I at least get a kiss?" Minho asks quietly, and his heart sinks as Chan frowns.
"No," he simply says.
"No?" Minho echoes quietly, subconsciously taking a step back.
"Don't feel like it," he shrugs and glances at his watch.
"You don't feel like…wow, okay," he nods, trying to swallow down the sudden sickness spreading through him. "Did I do something wrong?" he asks timidly. Maybe this wasn't just Chan pulling back, but he had done something to upset him.
“No, you didn’t, Min,” you say firmly, staring at him irritated.
Chan turns to look at him properly for the first time today. Minho's heart sinks at the carelessness in them. "Right now, you're keeping me from working. I have stuff to do, mate."
"Mate?" Minho presses out, taking a few steps back. "Alright, I'll see you in a week, bestie. Seriously, fuck you," he snaps and grabs his keys.
"Minho, come on," Chan groans, rolling his eyes at him. "Stop overreacting."
Minho fidgets with his wedding ring before slamming it on the table. "Know what that is?"
"You're being serious right now?" Chan raises his eyebrows at him mockingly.
"That stupid little thing means we're husbands, idiot. I've been by your side for nine years now; I think you can start using appropriate terms, Chan hyung." Minho says firmly, and for a moment, he considers leaving the ring here. But then he remembers he has a public image to maintain, and showing up without one of his wedding rings would raise questions. Also, deep down, it feels wrong already to only wear yours.
"You're being ridiculous," Chan says and gets up, pushing past him.
"No, I'm hurt. There's a difference, Chan," he tells him, grabbing his suitcase. "But fine, I'll leave like that. I'll see you in a week then."
"Fucking great," Chan nods, walking upstairs and not looking back.
Minho watches him, stunned, before finally leaving the house and slamming the door closed.
You stand still for a moment, trying to process what has just happened. "You had one job, Chan! Be nice!" you shout upstairs.
"Fuck you too!" he shouts back and slams his door closed.
"You two are fucking ridiculous sometimes," you curse and search for your keys.
Minho gets into his car and stays there for a few minutes, trying to calm down. Secretly, he hoped Chan would join him and make things right before leaving. But he doesn't. The door to his car opens, and you lean down to look at him, raising your eyebrows in amusement. “Fuck, I’m so sorry,” he groans and gets out quickly.
You giggle softly as he rushes over to you and pulls you into a tight hug. “Well, goodbye then, darling,” you tease him lovingly.
“I’m sorry, he pissed me off,” he groans, stifling his laughter in your shoulder.
“I know he did,” you laugh and soothingly pat his back. “Give him time to sulk; he’ll start missing you in two days top. He always does.”
“You’ll be okay?” Minho asks, pulling back and looking at you caringly.
“I’ll be fine. It’s Channie,” you giggle, and Minho snorts. “Deep down, he just needs a cuddle and acts tough so we won’t notice how stressed he is.”
“You handle this way better than I do, even though I’ve known him longer,” he laughs, rolling his eyes at himself.
“I just have a little more patience for his bullshit,” you giggle and check your phone. “You should leave before you miss your flight.”
“Ugh, fine,” he groans.
“You’ll do great, my darling,” you assure him. “Call me when you land?”
“You know I will,” he promises, lovingly kissing you goodbye. “I love you, honey.”
“I love you too, Minnie darling,” you smile.
-
Minho has been gone for four days when he gets a call. To his surprise, it's Chan's number popping up on his screen only minutes before a fashion event. Minho searches for a quiet corner and takes the call. "Hey, I don't have much time. What's up?" he asks calmly and frowns at the silence that follows. "Chan?"
"Something's wrong," he says quietly.
"What do you mean?" he asks confused.
"I don't…I don't feel good," he says monotonously. "Something's off."
Minho swallows softly. "Where are you?"
"Home," Chan tells him.
“Where’s Y/N?” he asks.
“Left,” he answers quietly.
“What do you mean she left?” he frowns, nervously scanning the crowd around himself.
“Told her to leave me alone. She took that to heart,” he explains. “She’s with her best friend.”
Minho exhales relieved, knowing you are safe with your friend. "Channie, what's wrong?" he asks patiently. "You can't just push us away. We love you, and saying yes five years ago means you're stuck with us," he chuckles, waving off his assistant tapping her watch.
"I know," Chan says and chews on his lower lip, unable to put it into words. "Remember when I had that episode of feeling worthless and overwhelmed back when we were trainees?"
"Mhm, of course I do," he nods, swallowing hard as he thinks of Chan's emotional state back then. Nothing had worried him that much in a long time. "Is that what's going on?"
"No…I feel..kinda numb," Chan admits and curses himself. "I feel so much and nothing at all. I feel like crying, but I can't, I can't focus on anything, I feel like everything I do is pointless and…Minnie, can you come back home?" he asks, his voice whispering. "It's starting to scare me whenever I have a clear moment." Minho rubs his face tiredly, and Chan takes his silence the wrong way. "I know you have shit to do…I just thought..I need you, please?"
"Give me an hour to sort this out," Minho says, and Chan exhales in relief. "I want you to grab a blanket, make yourself some tea, and put on your favorite series. Get comfortable on the sofa downstairs. You think you can do that for me?"
"Okay," Chan nods.
"I'll let you know when I'm on the plane," he says, sighing softly. "Channie love?"
"Yeah?" he asks quietly.
"Don't do anything stupid," he says, his grip around his phone tightening.
"I owe you a kiss," he answers, and Minho smiles sadly.
"Damn right you do," he nods and is about to end the call.
"Minho, baby?" Chan asks, almost a little timid.
"Yes, dear?" he asks patiently.
"Have a safe flight. You can do this, and I'll be there once you're back," he says, and Minho blinks back tears, gripping his phone tightly.
"Thank you," he whispers. So he hasn't forgotten.
-
You frown softly as Minho’s name pops up on your screen. Shouldn’t he be at some fancy fashion event right now? “Min?” you take the call confused.
“Hey, honey,” he says sweetly. “You have a minute?”
“Yeah, of course,” you nod agreeing, and smile at your friend thankfully, who hands you a cup of tea.
“Chan called,” he says and sighs at the silence following. “What happened?”
“Well, what did he tell you?” you ask stubbornly.
“Stop playing games, baby girl,” he warns you. “I should’ve been on some red carpet five minutes ago. So, what happened?”
You roll your eyes and subconsciously play with the two small rings decorating your ring finger: one for Chan and one for Minho. “I made the mistake of thinking I’d get a hug and kiss goodnight from my husband,” you tell him quietly, and he can tell you’re hurt. “He told me to leave him alone, so I did.”
“Fucking hell, Chan,” he breaths out and throws his head back in frustration. “I promised him to come home early, but I need some time to figure this out.”
“Oh, please, Min, it’s only three days,” you protest. That’s not what you had intended at all. “We can manage that, and we’ll talk once you’re back.”
“Well, he can’t,” he shakes his head.
“What?” you ask, confused.
“He called me to ask if I can come back because he’s not doing alright. He said something about feeling numb and like failing,” Minho explains, following his assistant, who had given up by now, to his car.
“Shit, Min, I didn’t know. I thought he was stressed and taking it out on us,” you say apologizingly.
“Relax, I didn’t know either,” he sighs, getting into his car. “Listen, I’ll be back home in a few hours. You think you can go back home in the meantime?” he asks gently. “I know you’re hurt and-.”
“No, it’s alright. Of course, I’ll go back home,” you say, already getting up and gathering your things. “You have a key to get in?”
“I think so, yes,” he nods.
“Alright, I’ll see you later then. I’ll go check on Channie,” you promise, and Minho exhales, relieved. You quickly explain everything to your friend before driving home a little faster than you should. Closing the door, you kick off your shoes and rush into the living room.
Chan looks up at you, confused, eyes widening at the sight of you. “Y/N?” he asks stunned.
“I’m so sorry, Channie angel,” you apologize and sit down next to him on the sofa. “I didn’t realize you were struggling that much. I thought you were stressed or something.”
“Min told you?” he asks, chuckling as you nod. “Typical, can’t keep a secret.”
“He’s worried,” you scold him gently and take Chan’s hand. “I’m worried.”
“That’s why I didn’t want to tell you,” he admits. “I don’t like worrying you. I just gave up hiding from Min because he witnesses most of it during work anyway.”
“Fair point,” you hum softly and hesitantly rest your head on his shoulder. This time, he lets you. “I’m sorry for snapping at you.”
“I’m sorry for pushing you away,” he says, squeezing your hand gently. “I’m not myself at the moment. Min has helped me out before when we were still trainees, I trust him with this.”
“Okay then,” you nod, smiling as he wraps his arm around you. “I’m here if you need me.”
“Thank you,” he says gently.
-
When Minho gets home a few hours later, he feels drained, pushing his suitcase into a corner and kicking off his shoes. He's still wearing the makeup and outfit for tonight's event, having wasted no time with changing. He tiredly runs his hand through his hair and stares at it for a moment, still shaking as the adrenaline and fear of the flight slowly wear off. His eyes fall upon the wedding rings on his finger. His heart steadies, remembering why he's there as he looks at Chan’s.
A pair of hands slip into his, taking his smaller ones and gently squeezing them. Minho looks up and meets the eyes he fell in love with all those years ago. Chan moves their hands up to his face, planting a tiny kiss on each of his knuckles. "Breathe," he tells him quietly, and Minho exhales a breath he didn't know he was holding in.
Minho can't stop himself and pulls him into a tight hug. He buries his face in his shoulder, stomach sinking as Chan stiffens for a moment in his hold. He pulls back, unable to meet his eyes. "Sorry, I should know better, you're not feeling up for this right -."
Chan cuts him off by pulling him in and shaking his head. "Sorry, I'm a little slow at the moment."
"That's okay," Minho assures him and gently rubs his back.
"I can't do anything right at the moment," Chan says quietly, gripping the back of Minho's suit jacket tightly.
Minho soothingly runs his hand through his hair. "Sometimes it's enough if the only thing you did today was breathe."
"If you think so," Chan mumbles into the fabric as he buries his nose in his shoulder.
"I know so," he tells him, resting his head against Chan's.
“You told Y/N,” he speaks up after a moment.
“Of course I did. She’s our wife, Channie love,” he giggles softly. “She should know, it’d worry her more not knowing what’s going on.”
He hums gently and tightens his hold on him. "I don't know what to do," Chan admits quietly. "I never felt so empty and isolated."
"I know that's probably hard to believe right now, but I promise you'll always find me in these three places: In front of you to cheer you on, behind you to have your back, and beside you, so you're never alone," he starts out gently. "I'll find a way to make you feel full again…fuck, that came out wrong," Minho groans, and for the first time in almost two weeks, Chan laughs.
"Idiot," he giggles and pulls back, meeting his eyes. He reaches out for him, hesitantly brushing back a strand of hair, fingertips tracing the features of his face. Once he reaches his lips, Minho plants a gentle kiss against his fingertips. Chan looks up, and he can't quite pinpoint the look in his husband's eyes. "I messed up that event for you, didn't I?"
"It doesn't matter," he assures him. "You're more important."
"You're mad?" he asks, squinting his eyes at him a little.
"Do I look mad?" he asks gently.
Chan frowns a little. "No…you look pretty."
A soft smile covers his lips and travels to his eyes. "That's very sweet."
"It's weird because I can tell what you're feeling, but…I have no clue how to grasp what I'm feeling," Chan admits, tears brimming his eyes. "I'm messed up, aren't I?"
"You're struggling," he reminds him kindly. "We can work this out. We did that before."
"Promise?" Chan asks, searching his eyes observantly.
"I promise," he says, holding Chan's hand wearing the wedding rings. "I told you I'd be there, no matter what," he tells him, and Chan nods firmly, holding on to the truth of those words. "I need to get rid of the makeup and…whatever the hell that is," he says, looking down at himself. They've put him in some suit and casual clothes arrangement with way too many straps in a different fabric to his taste.
"I'll help," Chan says, and Minho nods thankfully.
“Channie?” you ask quietly. Minho turns in Chan’s hold and smiles softly, seeing you. You’re wearing one of his sweaters, and your hair messily falls around your face. You tiredly rub your face and squint at them before the realization hits you. “Oh, Minnie, you’re back,” you beam.
“Hey, honey,” he says softly, grabbing your hand and pulling you into their hug. He plants a tiny kiss on top of your head and giggles as you pout at Chan.
“Got cold without you,” you tell him.
“Sorry, baby,” he chuckles and rubs your back. "I had to check on Minho."
"You're doing okay?" you ask him gently.
"I'm glad to be on solid ground again," he snorts and lovingly brushes back your hair. "Let's go upstairs. Channie's helping me, and then we can all go to bed."
"Sounds great," you nod and tiredly rub your eyes. "Channie?" you ask sweetly, making grabby hands at him. Chan snorts and rolls his eyes before lifting you up to carry you upstairs. You smirk at Minho as he follows the two of you. "Doesn't he look handsome?"
"Already told him so," Chan comments.
"You look like a prince, darling. So cute with that glitter around your eyes," you compliment him, and Minho blushes.
"You're too kind, as always, my beautiful wife," he smiles shyly, and your heart swoons at his last words.
"Careful," Chan says as he lowers you on the bed. He makes sure you're comfortable and tugs you in already, leaning down and planting a light, almost hesitant kiss on your forehead. "Thank you for coming home," he tells you quietly enough for only you to hear as Minho throws his bag in a corner of the room. "I feel more safe when you're here."
"Always," you promise. Chan makes his way over to Minho, helping him with his outfit's many buttons and straps. He also removes his shirt and grabs a new one from the closet. "If I weren't so tired, I'd enjoy the show a little more enthusiastically."
Minho's ears burn up red, and he quickly slips into the shirt. "If you weren't so tired, I'd make sure you put that pretty mouth to use for something other than talking shit."
Your jaw drops, and Minho smirks succeeding. "Fucks sake, you guys, I thought we'd be getting some sleep," Chan protests, making you both laugh. "Okay, sit down," he tells Minho and gets comfortable on the edge of the desk. He plants his feet on Minho's chair, left and right of his thighs. Chan places one hand beneath Minho's chin as he starts wiping away all the makeup, cursing softly to himself about all the glitter around his eyes. "As if you'd need any of this shit," he groans, and Minho giggles softly.
"You know how it is," he shrugs and closes his eyes for him as Chan gently removes the last remains of his eyeshadow. His eyes flutter back open as Chan takes off the small diamond earring for him. "Thank you, love," he says softly, reaching for him.
Chan slides off the desk and right into his lap, wrapping his arms around his neck. You smile gently, watching them, knowing their goodbye hasn't been that great. He sighs softly and brushes his nose against Minho's. "It's good you're back."
"Yeah?" Minho asks with a shy smile.
"Mhm," he hums, sinking deeper into his eyes. "Feels safe."
"I love you," Minho says, rubbing his lower back soothingly.
"I know," he nods and presses their foreheads together. "And I know I feel the same way about you…even now."
"That's good," he says, squeezing his hips. "Don't force it, we have time."
"Being with you feels..good," Chan tells him and subconsciously presses himself closer. It reminds you a little of what he said to you before you fell asleep on the sofa. At least he seems to be able to feel comfort as well.
Minho very gently reaches up, cupping his face and caressing his cheeks. "How does that feel?"
"Warm," Chan says, covering his hands with his own.
"You like that?" he asks, trying to figure out how to start tackling the issue at hand slowly.
"Yeah," he nods, a small smile covering his face.
Minho thinks for a moment before he knows what to try next. After all, his husband was a sucker for compliments he couldn't take for shit. If that wouldn't make him feel something, he doesn't know what would. "You're so beautiful, you know, Channie love. Such a handsome husband with those sweet eyes and bright smile," he says, noticing a slight blush creeping up his face. "Don't get me started on those soft curls. Or the way my hands fit perfectly into yours." Chan shifts on his lap, eyes widening a little as he takes it all in. "Have I ever told you how much I love you being so cuddly?"
"Minho," he protests gently.
"Yes, beautiful?" he asks curiously.
"He's right, Channie angel…but he forgot about your cute laugh and caring sweetness," you chime in. “Or the way your strong arms wrap around me, the way you let me rest on your chest when I’m tired, and how cute you get when you soothe me to sleep.”
"Stop," Chan groans softly. "Now I feel all warm and fuzzy inside," he says, hiding his face in his shoulder as Minho chuckles. "Don't laugh."
Minho smiles and plants a tender kiss on top of his hair. "See? You're still able to feel good things as well."
"I'm not fucked, in that case?" he asks so innocently it makes you and Minho crack up.
"It's a good start, don't you think?" he asks, giggling.
"I guess so," he chuckles and sighs softly as Minho runs his hand through his hair. "Keep doing that?"
"Let's get to bed, I won't let go of you tonight," he promises.
"What about me, Minnie?" you pout softly.
"I'm in the middle in this case," he snorts, and Chan and you seem happy with that. He smiles as the both of you cuddle up to his sides, heads resting on his chest. Minho soothingly plays with Chan's hair, smiling as you take Chan's hand and intertwine them on his stomach.
PART TWO
MASTERLISTS | PROMPT LIST | GUIDELINES
Taglist: (Please let me know if you want to be added to/removed from the taglist!)
@kai-lee08 @mal-lunar-28 @malfoygalaxies @soullostinspaceandtime @brownieloved @rebecca-johnson-28 @euphoric-univers @hyunniebunni @galaxycatdrawz @aaasia111 @channieaddict @kthstrawberryshortcake
#stray kids#skz#skz fic#chan#chan fic#minho#stray kids fic#minho fic#minchan#minchan fic#minchan x reader#minho x reader#chan x reader#chan angst#minho angst#minchan angst#minho fluff#chan fluff#minchan fluff#poly!skz#poly!stray kids#angst#fluff#requests open
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SKZ Break up Reaction II(Hyung Line)
Part 1
A/N: so I’m alive and writing again I hope this good im not gonna lie I’m really shit at writing fluff and this isn’t edited. Also I’m on full mobile uploading since my 4 year old decided to break my laptop but I do still want to write. The maknae line will be coming out soon I’m working on it and a couple other things atm so I hope you guys enjoy those. I’m going to be posting a preview shortly after this also I don’t ever really get much feedback or comments so please I love to hear you guy’s opinions tell me where I can be better but please like comment reblog and enjoy 😊
Chan:
You stared at your phone as tears flowed down your face. You weren’t sure what you should do, should you call him? You desperately wanted to hear his voice but could you handle the heartbreak and broken promises all over again? You love him, you missed him but being forgotten about for almost two months has you hesitantly hover over the answer button. It’s been two weeks and the calls and messages have been nonstop. You weren’t sure if you could face him, to see the look in his eyes you knew you’d absolutely crumble, so you watch as the call goes to your Home Screen and a missed call notification pops up followed by a voicemail. With a heavy sigh you click on the notification your hands are shaky as you press the play button “H-hey” he begins with a sigh “I-it’s been a-a….while now a-and I just want to know….how your doing. I know things weren’t….what you expected b-but I just want you to know that I love you a-and I want you to come home. I miss you so much. I know I should have been here I know I messed up so bad but I love you so much and I can only hope that I didn’t ruin things to the point where I can’t say that you love me too. If you still need time…I-I get that b-but ple-please just let me know you’re okay….come home soon…..please” your sobs grow louder shaking your body completely as you hear the pain in his voice.
You look around the small hotel room you had gotten for yourself, the hoodie you had stolen from Chan has adorned your torso since the night you left. With a final resolution you lift yourself from the bed, hurriedly grabbing your things as you shove them into your suitcase making sure everything is with you. You were anxious as you loaded your bag into your car. Your stomach was sinking as you pulled onto Chans street. You felt nauseous as you stood infront of the door, your hand hovering about to knock. Taking a deep breath you gently tap on the door, you felt like a kid coming home after running away at 6 years old. You felt small and confused yet the only thing you seemed to want, though you’ve been avoiding it, is to see him. You weren’t sure what to expect as you waited, you grew frustrated as you knocked once more a little harsher. The door being whipped open makes you jump in nervousness “Yah! I’m Fi—Y/N…” you stare at his wide tired eyes, his mouth hangs open as tears build in his orbs. Your pulled into his frame quickly as he wraps his arms around you quickly. “Y-you….” He cries “you came back” you hear the sigh of relief he releases as he buries his face in your neck. Your arms wrapping around his shoulders. “Yeah….I missed you so much I’m sorry” you apologize regret filling your tone. He shakes his head “No. I’m sorry fuck I’m so sorry please don’t leave again” he begs as his grip on you grows tighter. “I won’t I love you…. It’s you and me okay?” You promise as he lifts his head to look at you. He nods in response pressing his plush lips against yours.
Minho:
Minho paced back and forth for what felt like hours as he called you over and over again. His hands were shaky as he pressed the call button once more only for his heart to shatter once again at the sound of your voicemail. He didn’t know what to do it’s only been a couple hours but he felt hopeless. How could he get you to speak to him? Why did he have to be such an asshole? What could he do to see you again? Where could you have gone? A lightbulb goes off in his head, opening the location app you had downloaded on his phone his heart soars as your picture is still on his map. You never turned your location off, he thanks god for your absent mind. Zooming in on the location he recognizes your parents street, grabbing his keys he rushes out the door and into his car. His teeth tugging at his bottom lip in nervousness. Would you talk to him? Would you come home? He felt like throwing up at the thought of you saying no. How could he have ruined things so badly? His leg was shaking as he pulled into your parents driveway. What would you say? Would you turn him away?
He wasn’t sure if he should call you again, should he knock? This has never happened before he didn’t know the protocol for pleading and crying like a baby to get the love of your life back. He knew there would be groveling, but would you close the door in his face? Tell him you never wanted to see him again? No….no you wouldn’t—you couldn’t. You had to know how sorry he is, he raises his hand to knock on the door as it is pulled open your father standing there a disappointed scowl on his face. “Little—uh late there aren’t you?” He retorts he smacks his hand on Minhos shoulder firmly “advice for next time…you don’t let her leave genius. Beg. On your knees if you have to. But you never let them go because once they’re gone it’s hard to get ‘‘em back.” Minho nods softly “I’m so—shhhhh” your father cuts him off with his finger to his lips “I’m not who you should be apologizing to. Honestly I told her to kick your ass then leave she went the nicer way” Minho’s scrunch in confusion “I-Okay” he nods as he enters. He notices your mother seated on the couch a sympathetic expression adorning her face as she gestures toward a room. He nods in response quickly making his way to the door knocking hesitantly. His hands are shaking as he looks back at your parents watching him encouragingly, your mothers hands gesturing for him to go in. A heavy sigh is released from his mouth as he opens the door. The first thing he can hear is your silent sobs as you lay in bed. “Mom please can you just give me a minute” you cry silently. “You see, I would but l…I’m not your mom a-and” tears begin flowing down his cheeks as he rushes over to face you. He drops to his knees infront of your laying down figure, his thumb wiping away your tears “a-and I-I want you to come h-home” his eyes connect with yours “please, come home i—“ he sighs heavily grabbing your hand caressing it gently placing it against his cheek “I can’t breathe without you near me, I love you. I love you so much. I couldn’t think—I need you only a few hours away from you breaks me. Seeing our home rid of you, us, breaks me pl-please I know I’m an idiot but I’m sorry I’m so fucking sorry. I need you I don’t want you to leave me alone. Never leave me alone please I—“ his words get caught in his throat as he hiccups. “Min…” you slowly sit yourself up your eyes connecting with his.
Guilt and regret worn on his expression. You bite your bottom lip as you place your free hand on his cheek. “I love you too. But maybe we need space..” he shakes his head in denial “you just had a few hours away from me how much more space do you need? Please I want to be with you I don’t want space I-I want to wake up everyday with you in my bed. I want to see you smile and hear your laugh when the cats do something weird. I need you. I want you to be with me. Always. I want to marry you, I want to have kids with you, I’m sorry but I’m not leaving unless you’re coming with me” he begs. A small sad smile forms on your lips. You wrap your arms around his neck pulling him in. His arms taking a hold of your waist. “We can figure things out okay? I love you” you whisper
Changbin:
“Stop. Sending. So. Much. Stuff. To . My. Place.” Your growl as you place the gifts Changbin had sent to your house for the past week with every word on Changbins desk. He stared at you wide eyed and surprised before a smug smirk forms on his lips. His tongue runs over his bottom lip “I’m not seeing the necklace I sent yesterday.” He states as his eyes run over your figure. Your face twists into a scowl at his smugness as you cross your arms over your chest “I’ll send it in the mail” you lie, knowing the necklace was hidden under your shirt. A small tsk is released from his lips as he leans back in his seat, his legs spreading slightly as he stretched. “I mean..” he trails as he lifts himself from his seat making his way over to you, his fingers softly brushing your hair behind your ear. Tingles are sent down your spine as his fingers trail their way down the side of your throat before lifting the gold chain and pulling the daliha pendant. “It’s right here why send it in the mail?” His voice is low and seductive, you feel your resolution breaking as he pressed his chest against yours. Your breath is shaky as you willed yourself to not look directly at him. You feel his nose brush against your cheek, you feel heat grow on your face. You were sure you were a bright scarlet. Your hands place themselves on his firm chest shoving him back nervously. His eyebrow scrunch together in confusion “Wouldn’t want to make anymore mistakes right?” The sarcasm oozing out in your words.
You notice the hurt on his features,he runs his hands through his hair before releasing a sigh “you aren’t and never were a mistake to me! I love you I want to be with you the only mistake I made was fighting with you, please just give me another chance. I know I was wrong for what I said but we’ve both been on edge recently and I just want to fix things. You’re my everything and I can’t believe I said so fucking stupid” his eyes connect with yours, you can see the sincerity in his eyes. “Bin…I-I don’t know” you state your bottom lip making its way between your teeth. “Wait don’t decide yet I know you don’t want it but I have one more thing I wanted to give you” he urges as he rushes toward his desk “I don’t want you to keep buying me things Bin, it’s not right and it’s not a way to get me back. If I was to get back together with you because you bought me things then I would fee disgusted with myself.” You plead to deaf ears. “Shh! Just see it before you just reject it” he argues before turning around hand behind his back. “I made mistakes when it came to you. Not that you or our relationship was a mistake but I should have tried harder for you. I shouldn’t have said the things I said that night and for that I’m sorry but, I have loved you for three years now. From your smile to the way you take care of your friends. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I’ll spend every moment of everyday trying to make up for what I said…” your heart sinks as he begins to lower himself down to one knee before grabbing your left hand his eyes connect with yours “will you marry me?” You stare at him mouth agape as he produces a velvet box from behind him. Your right hand placed itself over your mouth, tears welling up in your eyes as you nod “yes!”
Hyunjin:
“Please, just talk to me!” Hyunjin begs as you casually stroll past him once again. Your heart rips out of your chest every time you were greeted by his tear stained, red eyed pout. Your bottom lip found it’s way between your teeth so you didn’t break your resolve. It’s been a month since you had broken up with him, and you spent every second since being bombarded by texts, calls, and unannounced visits from Hyunjin. You personally never told Hyunjin that you had overheard him saying those disgusting things about you, but you do know that Jeongin definitely did as his pleas changed from ‘what happened’ to ‘let me explain’. You personally didn’t care for an explanation nor did you want one. Your heart broke when you heard him say those things to Jeongin; you had a skewed idea of how your relationship was and Hyunjin opened your eyes with his words. You feel a hand wrap around your wrist, a bored sigh is released from your throat. “Please….Baby I-I’m sorry… I don’t know how to fix this, I-I just want to fix it I just want you to talk to me again.” His voice is horse, you notice his tongue brushing over his bottom lip before his teeth take his lip between them. A heavy sigh is released from his throat as he placed himself infront of you, hands wrapped around your arms. Your eyes connecting, you can see the longing and heartbreak in them.
Your breath grows heavy as you stare at your ex pulling yourself out of his grasp. “Please don’t touch me Hwang sunbae-nim, and it’s fine honestly, we didn’t work out.” You shrug, you feel your heart break as the look of utter horror grows on his angelic face.”s-sunbae-nim?” The words are barely above a whisper, pain laced in his tone. You nod softly “I think we wanted different things and you should be with someone that isn’t such a prude you know? Thank you for the apology but it isn’t necessary, you didn’t feel the same way as I did and that’s okay I just wish you would have told me instead of your members” you explain “no t-that’s not true! Please” his hands grasp yours desperately “why can’t you believe me? Look at me you know me! You know how I feel about you” tears streamed down his cheeks rapidly as he held your hands against his chest. You shake your head in denial “Hyunjin…pl-please let me go” your voice cracks. “I-I love you please believe me I didn’t want to break up I’m an idiot and I was frustrated and I just regret saying such stupid things I don’t need sex I don’t want you to leave me alone. I miss you—fuck—I miss you so much. I’m so fucking sorry I just want to be with you I just want my girl back please just give me another chance” he pleads, the despair evident in his tone. With a heavy sigh you shake your head “I just—sigh—you broke my heart and I just can’t jump back into this right away I’m sorry Hyunjin but no. I won’t be with someone who could think those things about me” you apologize as you continue making your way home.
#hyunjin angst#stray kids angst#skz angst#stray kids fluff#stray kids smut#chan angst#stray kids reactions#hyunjin#skz reactions#SKZ Minho angst#changbin angst#hyunjin fluff#chan fluff#changbin fluff#stray kids Hyung line reaction#minho fluff#skz x reader
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💔 pt.2
(in case you missed part 1) ➡️💔
„Channie, are you leaving me?“
Chan’s whole vibe changed in milliseconds, dropping from confusion to indifference.
„Yeah. I am“, he said flat.
Panic arose in your body, making your hands tremble with fear.
„What? Why?“
He pushed the bowl to the side and let out a deep sigh.
„It’s just like you said. I’m over you, y/n.“
Your heart was beating fast, matching the ringing in your ears.
„Is that all you have to say? You’re over me? Just like that?“
Your rage was fighting with the anxiety in your body, currently winning this battle of emotions.
Chan shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly and explained himself, seeming utterly unfazed.
„What do you want me to say?“
Tears started to form in the brink of your eyes.
„Tell me the truth“, you whispered silently.
„Fine. Everything you said was true. My eyes don’t sparkle anymore when I look at you. It’s hard for me to face you at all. And I don’t laugh at your jokes anymore because I can’t stand you talking. It’s a nuisance, y/n.“
Each of his words hit you like a knife, stabbing your heart with venomous hate. The tears were falling by now, straining your cheeks and ruining your make up.
„And no, I don’t buy flowers for you anymore because they would rot away in your presence anyway. Same with dates, I don’t want to spend time with you. Or be even near your presence.“
His eyes were filled with pure hate, getting darker by the second.
„And as for sex? The mere thought of touching you disgusts me. You are repelling to me, y/n“, he finally spat out.
Chan just stood there and watched while you were sobbing, fighting to breathe, fighting to survive this hurt.
Then, he snorted, laughing at you with the utmost disgust.
You wiped away your tears and looked at him, eyes all puffy and red.
„You really are a great fucking actress“, Chan applauded.
You stopped crying instantly, dropping your farce.
„Did you really think I didn’t know you were fucking my friend behind my back?!“
Part 3 ➡️💔
#mykoreanlove#skz scenarios#skz imagines#stray kids bang chan#bang chan angst#chan angst#bang chan x reader#skz angst#stray kids angst#bang chan stray kids#bang chan x y/n#chan x reader#chan x you#chan x y/n#skz chan imagines#bang chan hard thoughts#bang chan hard hours#chan hard thoughts#chan hard hours#bang chan imagines#chan imagines#bang chan drabbles#stray kids channie#skz channie#skz chan scenarios#chan drabble#stray kids imagines#stray kids x you#skz x reader#kpop angst
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shoot to kill - bangchan
includes: ex (?) bf! chan x fem reader, ANGST idk im in the mood to break hearts ig, fluff at the end, soft smut, mostly chan reassuring and praising reader
"alright fuck, then maybe we should just take a break."
the words leave chan before he can really think about it, hanging in the air like a knife that's been thrown and stops midair, your gaze ice cold and freezing it in it's track.
"really. thats your solution? a fucking break?" you scoff, your (chan's) shirt that usually hangs loosely suddenly suffocating you, wrapping you in a snake-like grip and making your head feel like you're going to explode.
"yea, i just dont think us being together is good for us anymore."
chan has a bad habit. he says shit he doesnt mean, blames the anger that builds in his chest and spits out words he knows will hurt. because thats what he wants to do. he knows its wrong, fucked even. the way he wants you to hurt the way he hurts.
"christopher."
its a plea. take it back, please. you stand there in front of him, defenseless. the way his full name falls off your tongue sounds wrong. it's devoid of all the emotions you'd usually call him with. where's the gentleness, the softness you usually regard him with?
"maybe we just.. need to stay away from each other right now." chan's voice is steady, betraying the way his insides seem to shake, he's not sure if he's shivering from the cold, or the way your eyes seem to look at him as if you're seeing him for the first time.
"you can't be serious." it hurts to speak, your words squeezing out of you as you struggle to breathe, tears freely flowing.
he should turn this around. surrender. no, he isn't serious. he's so stupid and he loves you and he's just so hurt by what you said a while ago and he's tired and- "i'll sleep at changbin's tonight."
your chest hurts, physically feels like its being ripped apart as you stare at your lover with empty eyes. "thats your solution? to run away? over such a stupid-"
"stupid?" chan laughs hollowly, running a hand through his hair, feeling all the anger rise in him again. "it isn't stupid, y/n. you're the one who keeps running away. you're the one who keeps pushing away this conversation every single time i bring it up." he's raising his voice now, can see how tense his body is from the reflection on the glass window.
"you're asking me to pick up my whole life and move to seoul with you. this isn't some silly request like asking me to pick where to eat for dinner, it's my whole fucking life, chris!" you raise yours in response, taking a step closer to him.
"that's what i did for you! i dont understand it, y/n. i moved to chicago. for you. picked up my whole fucking life and moved because i loved you. so why can't you fucking do that for me? this is my work, y/n." he takes a step, towering over you.
"no, don't twist it like that. we made plans, chan. we talked about it for months. it wasn't some spontaneous decision. we both wanted this-"
"well maybe i dont want this anymore."
oh.
...
"you don't mean that."
...
"channie? please. you don't mean that." your voice is breaks, shaky as you step away from him, clutching at your chest.
he can feel guilt eat at his stomach as he watches you, whole body shaking as sobs rack through your frame. he needs to apologize, he knows it. but you've hurt him too.
"i just... i need a break, y/n."
you sink into the couch behind you, shaking your head when chan hesitantly approaches you, kneeling on the floor in front of you. he places a hand on your knee, and his chest tightens when you flinch away from him.
"love-"
"don't." you spit the word out, refusing to even look at him.
"love, please-"
"a break's what you want? you fucking have it. tell changbin to expect you." you push his arm away when he makes a move to reach for you. you unfurl yourself from the couch, stepping aside from the man who holds your heart, ignoring his calls of your name as you walk into your shared bedroom, slamming the door shut behind you.
sleep comes quickly when you cry yourself to sleep, curled into a ball in your bed, heart empty as the overwhelming scent of chan sticks to his pillows. you faintly hear the soft click of the front door, and then complete silence.
it's hard to remember how you fell asleep, almost as if there was a smooth transition from sobbing heavily into your pillow and breathing into a deep sleep. your head is pounding when your eyes open, puffy and sore from your tears. your throat is dry, stomach aching, and heart heavy.
there's a chance chan will never sleep beside you again.
you push aside the bitter feeling, letting out a painful groan when you stretch your limbs, swinging your feet off your bed. the floor is cold, and you have to tiptoe to the bathroom to freshen up.
you look as horrible as you feel. you try not to spend too much time looking at yourself.
the thought of spending your whole day alone in your big apartment makes you uneasy, part of you wishing you could stay cooped up in your room forever. but you know deep down that's not what's truly bothering you, not when the uncertainty eats at you from the inside.
how is he?
is he thinking about you?
why hasn't he messaged you?
...... is it really the end?
you walk to the door, taking a deep breath as tears brim just below your waterline, promising to be productive today, and not to wallow in self pity all day. your scream leaves you before you can register what exactly is sitting by front of your door, large frame leaning against the door toppling over in his sleep.
"what the hell!" you scream, heart suddenly beating too fast at your liking as you finally take the scene in.
"baby?" chan's voice is croaky, as if his throat had been scratched raw. he's still wearing the clothes from last night, shoulder leaning against the doorframe before you swung the door open, causing him to lose balance.
"what the fuck are you doing here?" you sigh, guilt tugging at your heart when chan stands up, groaning and rubbing at his back.
"i- i didn't...."
you stare at him in silence, unable to control the way your brows furrow in anger. he stares back at you, lips suddenly going dry when he sees the way that you look at him, as if he was a bother.
"i thought you went to bin's." you push past him, heading straight to the kitchen as if you had no worry in the world, pretending to busy yourself with dishes despite there not being a single dish in the sink.
"i..... i couldn't leave you." his voice cracks as he takes another step toward you. you turn your back to him, denying him of your attention as you pretend to busy yourself with breakfast, pulling open drawers and taking out pots.
"wow. that's rich." your voice is laced with pure venom when you bite back, sinking deep into chan's heart as he shuffles awkwardly to stand by the kitchen counter.
"you locked the door."
you only hum in response.
"i.... i tried to go in, thought i'd apologize to you but.... it was locked."
"yea. you don't really expect anyone to go in your room when you're on a break."
the silence is heavy on your shoulders, but you know if you say any more the tears will start pouring. you're too mad at chan to break down in front of him, pride and ego wrestling as you maintain your unbothered facade, working your way around him as if his presence meant nothing to you.
"i turned down the job offer last night."
you drop the spatula you were holding in your hand, letting it clank against the metal pot.
"you what?" you finally turn to face him, disbelief etched onto your face.
you finally soften when you see chris mere feet away from you, eyes red and puffy a sign that he had been crying too. his hair is a mess, and his clothes from last night look rumpled, as if he had been restless all night.
"i- you have to know, my love. i will always choose you, nothing else. i was stupid and-"
"christopher, i never said no." you feel irritation rise in you again, but you take another step closer to your lover. "i never said i didnt want to go. i needed time to think, chris. time. to process. and now you've turned down your dream job and i-"
"i know, i know." chris reaches out to you, letting out what you think is a breath of relief when you dont push him away as he wraps his fingers around your wrists. "but i.... this job, it's going to be demanding and i'm constantly going to have to move and.... look, chicago is your home." he raises a hand to cup your face, wiping away the stray tear that had slipped down your cheek.
"and seoul is yours." you argue back.
"no, you are."
you let out a sob at that, allowing yourself to fully melt into chan's warm embrace. he immediately scoops you into his arms, pressing your face into his chest as he kisses the top of your head repeatedly, patting your hair down.
"it doesnt matter what im doing or where i am, as long as you're there." chan starts to choke up, pulling your face away to properly look you in the eyes. "i dont know what the future holds for me, love. all i know is that i want you by my side. in ten, twenty, thirty years." he plants soft kisses all over your face as you sniffle.
"but i- i feel so bad. i dont want to stop you from doing what you want." you groan, but chan simply giggles lovingly at you.
"i dont want you to think that, i dont even think that. its just a job, y/n. its not even a job i really want. it pays well yea, but it's not something id drop everything for. especially not you." he wipes away the tears that are still falling, cooing at you when you hiccup.
"i love you, chan. i'm so sorry." you sob, pushing your face into his shirt.
"don't apologize. i should be the one saying sorry. i was such a dick last night, i-" he sighs, wrapping his arms around your shoulders. "you know i dont mean what i say, right?"
god he hopes you say yes, he prays to any god, even those he doesnt believe in that you know he never means those things. he doesnt think theres anything worse than the possibility that you could actually think he doesnt want you or a life with you.
"i- i know. but... still hurts when you say it." you sniif, wiping away your tears with the back of your hand.
chan pulls away to look down at you. "i know, my love. im sorry. i'll work on that, i promise. can't stand it when you're sad. i hate knowing im the one who hurts you." he leans down to kiss you, the salty taste of your tears making his chest hurt.
"let me love on you, yea? let me take care of you baby, please."
you nod, jumping up when chan taps at your thighs. he catches you, wrapping his hands around your thighs as he carries you to your bedroom. "need to feel you," you sigh when chan gently places you on the bed.
he stands in between your spread legs, quickly throwing off his hoodie and letting it fall to the floor, leaving him half naked. he leans down to hover over you, lips instantly finding yours in a messy, heated kiss. his hands find their way under your shirt, tips of his fingers grazing your underboob.
"wanna fuck you in my shirt." chan hums against your cheek, squeezing your sides when you squirm against him.
"wanna feel your skin on mine though, please baby?" you beg, holding onto chan's shoulders as he kisses down your chest. he hums in agreement, rolling his shirt off so it sits on top of your breast.
"i'll give you whatever you want, baby. just ask me. promise i'll give it to you, i'll take care of you." he presses soft kisses across your stomach and chest all the while, only pulling away to lift the fabric off you. chan eyes you hungrily, only dressed in your underwear.
"you're the most beautiful girl ive ever seen, my love. so perfect for me." he sighs, fingers tangling in your hair as he kisses you deeply.
"want your pants off, need to feel all of you." you whine, fingers already flying to undo his pants.
"such a good girl, using your voice. you know id do anything you asked." he hums, kicking everything off until he lays bare against you, cock already hard as it rubs against your thigh.
"enough with the teasing, channie. need you in me."
"there's no rush, baby." chan hums, fingers dipping down to see how wet you are, surprised to find you already soaking.
"huh. guess she was crying for me too, hmm?"
you lightly slap at his shoulder, fighting the scolding smile that threatens to paint your face. "just put it in already, please."
"hmm. since you asked so nicely." he kisses your cheek, lips still against your skin as he pushes in you, holding your legs as par apart as he can. your breath catches in your throat at the feeling of him stretching you, fingers digging onto his broad back as he settles deep within you.
"feel good?" he asks, pillowy lips trailing across your face.
"so deep- love you, channie." you babble, and chan can't help but giggle. he presses his bare chest against yours, feeling satisfied when every inch of his skin is met with your own. his hands find yours, interlocking them before he dips down to kiss you on the lips.
"lets go slow, kay baby? need to feel all of you. every inch." he coos, hips slowly pulling back before he sinks back in, keeping the same torturously slow pace.
you whin when it starts to get too much and yet not enough at the same time, heels digging into his lower back to push him in quicker everytime he pulls out. "please, channie. need it faster."
"greedy," chan tuts, rubbing his nose against your jawline. "but, what my love wants, she gets."
his pace starts to pick up, lewd sounds of skin against skin filling up the room aside from the occassional moan you let out. chan grunts against your ear, letting out deep sighs and high pitched whimpers everytime you clench around him or reach up to kiss at his neck.
"m close," you whine, throwing yoru arm around your lover's neck to pull him closer. he easily complies, keeping the same rhythm as you press yourself against him.
"wanna feel you cum, baby. wanna feel that pretty pussy clench around me." he groans, fingers finding your clit and rubbing tight circles on the bud.
you let out a silent scream when you cum, legs shaking against chan's waist as he fucks you through your high, letting out a breathy whimper when he feels how tight you've become.
"fuck! love you so much, channie." you sob.
that's what pushes him over the edge, shooting his load deep inside you as his hips stutter, groaning lowly with every thrust. he buries his face into the crook of your neck as you hold him, back sweaty from all the movement.
your breathing seems to sync as you both calm down, chan's hands rubbing up and down your sides as yours curl into his hair, holding him snuggly against you.
"i love you more than anything, y/n." chan suddenly breathes against your neck. he pulls away to look at you, and your breath catches in your throat when you see his eyes are brimming with tears.
"channie?" you pout, gently carressing his cheeks with your thumb. he leans into your touch, quickly kissing the palm of your hand before he nuzzles into it.
"don't wanna lose you. hurts so fucking much just thinking about it."
you're caught off guard by his sudden vulnerability, but you coo at him all the same. "you won't lose me, baby. we'll get through everything." you promise, heart squeezing when his tears start to fall.
"almost did. hate myself so much for hurting you." he sniffs, quickly wiping away his tears.
"baby, listen to me, okay?" you sigh. you try to sit up to look at him better, but chan whines, resting his head in between your chest and tightening his hold around your body. you giggle at him, hands quickly finding its way to his hair as you play with it. "you won't lose me. we just gotta... talk through everything, okay?"
"but i hurt you.... i dont think when i get mad. say things i dont mean."
"and you said you'd work on it. i trust you." he lifts his head up so he looks up at you, chin resting on your stomach.
"i love you. i hope you believe me when i say that. honestly, i dont think those three words can even begin to describe how i feel for you." he sighs, pinching at your side.
you giggle at him, thinking back to how he called you his home.
you push away the curls that cover his eyes, smiling down sweetly at him. "i know what you feel for me channie." you reassure him, pulling him up by the shoulders so he hovers directly above you.
"'s exactly what i feel for you, my beautiful boy." you coo, pulling him down for a kiss.
taglist: @abcdefgiwsmcty@n034sy@148-seungmin
#seung mong!#skz smut#skz#skz fanfic#stray kids#bang chan#bangchan x reader#bangchan fluff#bangchan angst#bangchan smut#chan smut#chan x yn#chan fluff#chan angst#stray kids fluff#stray kids smut#i need a chan honestly#he loves yn your honor!#youre my home trope is one of the best like what the hellll
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Venting to BFF Stray Kids (Hyung Line)
Angst, sad topics, general vibe of "whats the point of things", comfort, supportive skz. Reader is just having a hard time.
#stray kids#skz#skz angst#stray kids angst#bang chan angst#chan angst#minho angst#lee know angst#changbin angst#hyunjin angst
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“channie,” you whisper, and the wheedling tone has already seeped into your voice. “are you asleep?”
your boyfriend rolls over to squint at you with bleary eyes. “yes,” he deadpans, shutting his eyes — you whine indignantly, lightly pushing at his arm.
“you’re not!” you shift closer, cheek on the pillow right beside him, wide eyes flitting over his angular features. “don’t be mean.”
reluctantly, he opens his eyes, the ghost of a smile lifting his lips when he registers your eager gaze. “okay, baby,” chan concedes, mirroring your position. one of his hands come up to cup the side of your cheek. “what is it, hm?”
you lean into his warmth like it’s second nature; pressing your cheek against his palm, you glance downward sheepishly. “i’m hungry.”
there’s a long pause. “okay,” he says finally, eyebrows drawing together. “then go eat something?”
frustrated, you groan. “but i want you to come with me!”
“to the kitchen?”
“yes!” you grab his hand before he can pull it away, squeezing tightly and widening your eyes at him pleadingly. “please, baby?”
chan remains silent for a moment. “you’re not going to get me this time,” he warns in advance. “i’m not giving in.”
your lips part in indignation. “but i want you to come!”
“you’re such a brat,” he grumbles, and when you attempt to give him puppy eyes, he closes his own, a triumphant smirk curving his lips. “can’t get me if i can’t see you!”
a huff of annoyance leaves your lips. “so you hate me, is that what you’re saying?”
“i feel like you’re being a little dramatic.”
you ignore him. “my boyfriend doesn’t love me anymore!”
chan tries — he really tries to stick to his guns. to dig his heels in and say no, actually he’s going to stay in bed. but when you look like that, and you look at him like that, and you kiss him like that, he feels like ending up in the kitchen at 3 in the morning to watch you make yourself some ramen was kind of inevitable.
an / guys i’ve forgotten how to write i can’t do it anymore . is there a way to resign
taglist: @n4mj00nvq @eoieopda @som1ig @glowunderthemoon @wondering-out-loud @graybaeismytae @hannyoontify @sahazzy @dokyeomin @icyminghao @smilehui @nicholasluvbot @lvlystars @immabecreepin @hanniehaee @kokoiinuts @astrozuya
#seventeen fluff#chan fluff#dino fluff#dino x reader#chan x reader#seventeen x reader#dino comfort#seventeen imagines#seventeen fic#seventeen fanfic#seventeen headcanons#chan comfort#chan angst#dino angst#chan fic#dino fic
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a/n: no smut! just some angst w a somewhat happy ending! idk it just came to me! bye!
The water droplets that cling to your back stick you to the bathroom door. Hair too damp, the water spilling down your nude body and dripping to the floor. Plop, plop, plop as if the liquid has a heartbeat of its own. Eyes shut, you focus on the soft sound to slow your breathing. Maybe, just maybe, if you try hard enough, you can evaporate with the water.
Anything would be better than this.
There’s a dull knock on the other side of the door. His head lulling back against the wood, level with yours. The sound of his breathing is too loud, drowning out your treasured drops of water.
“Are you ready to talk to me?”
Your eyes open, red and stinging from the shampoo you lathered in just moments ago. Purposely not rinsing properly, you let it roll down your face. Seep into your eyes. It was nice, a distraction from the feeling of your heart being ripped from your rib cage.
It beats on the other side of the door.
He sighs, and there’s another thud. As if he’s turned, forehead now pressed against the wood. “Baby, just say something.”
The taste on your tongue. Mouthwash burns it, yet that name overpowers its strength. Baby. It makes your stomach churn. Your lip trembles, nose wobbling along with it. If tears fall, it’s the shampoo.
It’s been days since you haven’t fought. Everything. Everything requires a war, the fight not stopping until you’re both broken and bloodied. Voices raw, achy. Heads throbbing. There’s been little reprieve.
Tonight was the night your white flag was raised. When he came home late, tie loosened and curls threaded as if fingers danced through them. He greeted you with a kiss to your cheek before dropping his stuff on the unused kitchen table. It took you a moment, too consumed in washing the dishes, for you to notice.
“It’s after eight.” You say, turning off the water.
“Yeah. Yeah, I got caught up in something.”
“For like, three and a half hours?” It’s impossible to stop the chuckle of disbelief. “It isn’t even your busy season.”
You know him better than yourself. Like the back of your hand, everything about him etched into your brain. Your entire soul, flesh, blood. Without even looking, you know he’s chewing his cheek, unfastening his cuff links. “Can we not do this tonight, please?”
“Not a text, not a call—“
“I’m so tired.”
“So am I.” Your words catch in your throat, sobs on the precipice. The last bit of energy you have is used to stomp them down. “You could have at least told me—“
“What do you think I was doing?” What is heavier in his tone — the pain or the frustration? “Do you think I was cheating? Off fucking someone else?”
It almost shames you, the fact that it did cross your mind. There are no other signs that point to that, nothing to really give you reason to think that. It’s the build up — the weeks of back and forth, never finding a middle ground unless he’s buried inside you. You’re so fucking exhausted. It would almost be easier to think there was another woman than to admit what it actually is.
Even thinking it feels like swallowing glass.
“You do.” He scoffs, throwing his tie on the table. “You really do.”
“Chan—“
“I fucking love you.” His voice is strained, tears like a waterfall. “Don’t you get that?”
“I don’t!” You snap back, forcefully removing the rubber cleaning gloves. The fall in the sink with a splash. “Do you really think fighting every night is love? This push and this pull, I’m so fucking sick of it.” You turn to the staircase, anxiety building in your chest so quickly. You need to get out of here, to get away from all of this.
As your foot hits the first step, the glass shatters. Your ribs cracked open, raw and exposed.
“I want a divorce.”
How can he expect you to talk to him after he says something like that? You replay the moment in your mind over and over again, the words louder each goddamned time. With a shaky breath, your hands cover your face. Nails in your scalp. Numb.
Chan is sniffling. What you don’t see on the other side of the door is the waves of regret. Salty and bitter, twisting around his ankles to pull him deep. Those four fucking words. They made you still, body immediately tense. The mere seconds you stood there felt like eons. Right when his hand reached out, ready to take it all back, you climb up. All too quick.
Why did he say something he didn’t really mean? For you, he would bring the moon to earth. Hang the stars above your bed. Crawl into the depths of the earth and break it down from the inside, watching it collapse with you. He’s tried, many times, to describe his love for you and nothing can come close. It’s bigger than him.
Bigger than this.
“I’m sorry.” He whispers, choking softly on his tears. “I don’t know why I said it. I just—“ his inhale is shaky, like he’s unable to fully catch his breath. “—I don’t even know. Baby, please, please come out.”
Your entire soul. The start of time and the end of it. Every planet that ever was, that ever will be. No matter how hard you push, how badly you want to step away.
When the handle turns, he falls to his knees.
Shards of glass pierce your skin from head to toe, digging deeper when the agony he’s feeling hits you. It’s written across his face, etched into his gaze. Sorry. Sorry isn’t close to enough.
You tilt your head down, looking at your husband for the first time in hours. This isn’t the same man that left your house this morning; jaded, empty. This is the man you fell in love with.
“I’m sorry.” He cries, bowing down until his red cheek is flush against your foot. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry—“
Despite the words that have seeped into the walls around you, the foundation of your home all but quaking from the hate and anger that it’s been pelted with. Despite the fact that your heart lay, covered in glass and bled out on the floor next to him. You believe him.
If he really meant it, he would have taken his ring off. 
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