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fluffysucker · 1 year

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Help, I'm lost

Bucky Barnes x reader (Au)

The worst of days brings you closer to the best of people. Those your heart desire

This is a deep dive in a part of the one-shot I wrote. This one

This can be read as stand-alone as well.

Written in third pov. Minimum use of Y/N. But lots of female pronouns lol.

TW: Mentions of Sexual Assault. Mentions of Emotional and Physical Abuse. Sexual Harassments.

Don't worry. Bucky is a knight in shining armor.

If you feel uncomfortable or may find it triggering, I put the part where the reader talks about it in BOLD AND ITALICS. So you can pass it if you want. Other than that Nothing mentioned or very vaguely. If I missed something, please tell me. Tysm💕

Laying on her bed wide awake. Sleep left her a long time ago. She wasn't even trying to sleep. She was just trying to clear her mind for a bit. She has a long day ahead of her. A clear mind would help her get through. A wish that was near impossible.

She signed when her alarm went off for the second time. All her hopes to escape demolished. She sat on the bed, letting a few tears out, followed by a couple of sniffles. Crying was all she could do lately.

After her morning routine and getting ready, she prepared herself to face the outside world. She had been hiding in her room long, but it wasn't enough. She breathed heavily as she took her bag and pulled all her courage into opening the door and leaving.

She planned to avoid them all in the house, and for the first time in a while, her wish was granted. She moved quickly to the front door before anyone would notice her and try to talk. She is already dreading today enough.

"How was the camp, boys." She said loudly as she descended the stairs to where they are. If she's going to act, it might as well be an award winning performance.

As she closed the door, she gave herself a final second to embrace herself for the day. Starting with the biggest fake smile she could master. She turned around, and there they were, standing on her porch, talking nonsense while waiting for her. Maybe the smile wasn't so fake after all. She missed them.

"Terrible. Absolutely traumatizing." Said the blond smaller one

"Didn't expect anything different, Steve." She hugged the blond first as she reached them both. Steve let out noises of offence but hugged her back anyway. He missed her.

"I'm sure Barnes' experiences were different." She let go of the blond, turning her sight to the brunet standing right next to him. The one who had been causing mess in her head lately

"Not really. When you spend most of your time trying to save your best friend's life, it's not so fun." Bucky Barnes moved towards the girl wrapping his arms around her waist. She put her arms around his neck, pulling herself closer to him. For a moment, she wasn't hurting anymore. She wished she could stay here, protected by his arms, forever. She couldn't tell why, but the feeling of comfort and safety was so overwhelming that she almost broke down and told them everything. But decided against

She pulled away before he would notice she wanted to be held for a moment longer. Not knowing he would love that. He would love to keep holding her.

They took their usual route to the school, telling her about their camp and the activities they did. She avoided any questions about her week.

"It was nice. I stayed at home." It wasn't a lie. But it wasn't the truth either. It wasn't nice.

They reached the school. Steve and Bucky walked in, still talking, not noticing her shaking form. She disguised it quickly and followed them.

She can do this. She can go through the day. She kept encouraging herself all through the day. When they passed by a large group of people. When it got too loud at class. All stuff triggering, but she managed to survive without grabbing any attention.

The day was almost over. She was glad she was able to make it so far. And just as she was thinking, she was clear. It showed up right to her face.

"Hey, pretty." Leaning against her opened locker with the smug look on his face she very much wanted to punch off. There he was

"What do you want, Ethan?." She tried to put every bit of bravery she had into her voice. So he wouldn't know she is terrified.

"Just saying hi. Checking on you." He gave her what he thought was a charming smile, but it was disgusting in reality.

"I'm good." She said sharply as she closed her lockers so desperately trying to end this conversation.

"Ohh, baby. Don't be like this." The pet name never bothered her before. But after what happened, it almost sent her into a panic attack.

"I told your brother I would drop you off back home." Of course, her brother would do this. Before she could protest, he kept going

"You know we can catch up where we left." The blood drained from her face. Feeling the blood freeze in her body. Flashback rushing to her mind, and she can't stop them.

"No, thank you." Her brave façade fell as she moved away from him trying to get away.

"Oh, come on. It will be fun." She could almost feel her heartbeats through her shirt. She kept shaking her head saying no.

Ethan rolled his eyes at her. He grabbed her arm roughly to stop her from moving. The moment she felt his touch on her, she wanted to scream, shout, hit him, throw him off her. Yet not a single thing came out of her. Shock took over her body. Tears forming at the corner of her eyes. The only thing stopping her from breaking down is people surrounding them.

Before she could beg him to let her go and just leave her alone. She heard them

"Hey, Y/N. Ready to go." Steve's voice brought all the air back to her lungs. She looked around to find her two bestfriends approaching them.

"Yes. Let's go." She disguised the shakiness in her voice with a cough. Quickly taking her hands away from Ethan's grip the second it loosened a bit when he heard them approaching.

"But I thought we could go home together." It's clear Ethan wasn't going to stop.

"No, we have lots of stuff to do today." Bucky turned down the older boy.

While Ethan wasn't going to give up, he wasn't stupid. He knew the two boys were younger, but their reputation preceded them. The smaller boy, Steve, was known for trouble, and Barnes, Barnes is protective by nature. He will get what he wants. But not right.

Ethan gave the younger group a fake smile before leaving them. Not before throwing a wink at her way.

"What was this about?." Steve asked first. She just shook her head, trying to recover from what just happened so they wouldn't talk about it. Thankfully, they didn't.

.................................................................................................................

Days became weeks. Everybody was back to their daily routines. Everybody but her. She tried to convince herself that enough time passed, and She was fine now. She moved on. Lies, she kept saying in the hope of becoming reality.

Things were beginning to look suspicious for the two boys. While she acted normal. They could sense something was off. Especially with her brother's bestfriend, Ethan.

Ethan and Jack ,her brother, were bestfriends. It was no secret both bonded over being big jerks and rude teenage boys.

Bucky and Steve knew the truth about Y/N's house. It wasn't a good one. While her father wasn't so bad, he wasn't enough to make up for the bad. Her mother and her brother were the bane of her existence.

For whatever unknown reason, the mother favored her older boy bluntly and didn't hide her dislike for the younger girl. And Jack took full advantage of this fact.

So it wasn't abnormal to see Jack rudely making fun of her or bullying her, and it was normal when his bestfriend would join sometime.

But her reaction wasn't normal. She would usually reply with a sassy comment or a sarcastic remark. Now, she just waited for them to be done.

And it became more noticeable when Ethan's flirty one-linear was met with nothing but silent.

One of the jokes Ethan always played on her was that he had a crush on her. Something she always laughed about. Now, she just walks it off.

She was fully aware her two bestfriends were sensing something was wrong. However, she was still choosing to keep it all to herself. It's better that way. Maybe if I don't talk about it, then I will move on faster. Words kept repeating in her head.

Until one day, it all came down crashing.

Y/N was sitting on her bed reading the book she borrowed from Steve when she heard footsteps and boys' voices on the stairs close to her.

Past memories raced to her, making her clutch to her bed covers for dear life. No. Not again, please. She prayed in her mind

She let out a breath of relief when her door opened to show Bucky's and Steve's figures walking in. She greeted them, trying to recompose herself.

The trio were no strangers to showing up at each others houses unannounced. Even Bucky and Y/N, who claimed to hate others so much.

The boys kept talking within themselves and to her, but she couldn't concentrate. She was failing to push the memories back deep in her mind. Her friends' voices and faces blurring into a night she wanted to forget.

Only them calling out her name was able to get her back to them. She blinked fast and looked at them to see what they wanted.

"Have you heard anything we said?." Bucky asked with sarcasm fulling his voice. She turned her eyes to the ground, thinking of an excuse to give.

"You haven't been focusing lately." Bucky added still with sarcasm but to hide his real worry about the girl.

Before she could come up with a lie to cover up her lack of focus. Steve's statement was the straw that broke the camel's back.

"Maybe we should call Ethan. You only seem to focus when he is around." It was meant as a joke, but it opened all the unhealed wounds.

"NO NO NO. PLEASE, DON'T DO THIS." Words flow from her mouth before she can stop them.

"Please, no. I'm so sorry." Her sight was becoming blurry from her glossy eyes filled with tears. But she could make the concerned expression on the boys' faces

"Y/N, what's wrong ?." Steve asked, sitting on the bed next to her, but she flinched back. Something left the boys more concerned.

"Please, don't call Ethan. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to, but please don't let him be around." Her mind was so clouded by the pain and trauma. She couldn't tell that her bestfriends would never do this. It was a joke. A stupid joke.

"Sweetie, please, calm down. I was joking. We would never. I'm sorry." Steve never thought the joke would set his bestfriend so off.

She started to come back to her sense. Remembering it's Steve and Bucky. She moved back to her place next to Steve, who raised his hand as a sign of asking if he could touch her. When she showed no protests, he started rubbing her arms slowly.

"Y/N, what's going on?." Bucky leant down to be in her eyesight. Worry was evident in his face and voice. Something is seriously wrong. More than he thought.

Looking between the both of them, She knew she couldn't hide it anymore. Hell broke loose.

"I told him to stop. I swear I did. I kept trying to push him off, but he wouldn't move. I kept saying no, and he didn't listen. He thought I was playing hard to get, but I wasn't. I didn't want to. When I told Jack, he slapped me and hit me. He told me Ethan would never do this and that I must have thrown myself at him. But I swear I didn't."

While her words weren't arranged and seemed to be running out of her mind, the boys could clearly understand what happened.

Tears started streaming down her face like falls. Words mixed with sobs as she kept trying to tell them. They listened carefully to every word leaving her mouth. They let her tell them all she wanted.

Once she was done, she was in a hysterical state. Bawling her eyes out with sobs escaping from her. Telling them what happened made her quit the denial. Something terrible happened to her. No matter how much she tried, she couldn't erase it. She had to find a way to live with it. To heal properly.

Steve couldn't help seeing her like this. He instinctively wrapped his arms around her, pulling her trembling form into him. She held into him for dear life as she was finally letting herself feel it all.

A few minutes passed, Silence filled the room as her crying ceased to stop. Steve looked down to find her asleep. He moved quietly to lay her on the bed and cover her with a fluffy blanket. Then he looked up to Bucky.

Bucky, who was standing still in his place since she started talking, he was hit with a sea of emotions he wasn't used to. He couldn't explain his feelings right now.

Bucky and Steve shared a silent conversation with each other. Both had lots on their mind but can only think of one thing.

Steve moved from the bed, careful not to wake her up. And went to lay on the couch, giving Bucky the other blanket that laid on the couch.

They didn't have much idea of what to do now but one thing they knew. She needed them.

Night went on. Sleep didn't reach Steve till very late, but it never did to Bucky. He was lying awake on the floor. He was used to taking the floor in their sleepovers.

Whenever he tried to close his eyes, all he could see was the image of her weeping in Steve's chest. Her terrified sobs ringing in his ears. Bucky thought he knew pain. But watching her breakdown like this was unbearable. He felt like something was burning within his body. Like a stone fell on his lungs and was suffocating him. It was a strange mix of rage, sadness, and regret

He felt responsible for what happened even if he had nothing to do with it. He should have been here. He should have never dragged Steve and made the both of them go. He should have paid more attention. He should have known she was suffering.

He looked through the window to find the stars lighting the dark sky. He always believed that a high power lies in the star. A power that grants wishes. So he made a wish. He wished for all her pain to disappear. And if the only way for this to happen was for him to take it all instead, he had no problem.

He turned his sight to her sleeping form. Despite being young, he knew what he was feeling for her wasn't a friendship. And most definitely, it wasn't hate. It was something way more.

..................................................................................................................

The next morning came in. Y/N woke up for her sleep. She didn't remember falling asleep, but her sleep was peaceful - for the first time in while -. She began to remember last night's events and signed quietly. She felt lighter after telling the boys, but she didn't know how to face them.

She sat on the bed, resting her back on the headboard. She smiled softly when she saw the thrown blanket on the floor and couch. She had a feeling they wouldn't have left.

Before she could get up to find them, the door to her room opened.

"Sorry. Did I wake you up?." Guilt filled Bucky's voice once he saw her up. She reassured him she was already up.

Silence fell between the two. However, it wasn't awkward. It was comforting of sorts

"Listen, Y/N. I don't know what to say. Or what I can do. Nothing would make me be able to understand this pain and hurt. " Bucky spoke as he moved to sit next to her on the bed.

"What I do know is I'm here for. Fully and completely. Whatever you need from me. I will be here. I'm sorry you felt like you couldn't tell me what happened. But I want you to know it wasn't your fault. Never was. Never will be. Nothing is wrong with. It's all his fault. If it was up to me, I would go and break his head and every bone in his body. I would make him regret his existence. But I know you don't want that. So I promise you he won't come near you ever again. Both of them. They won't hurt anymore. You will never have to go through something like this again. And you will get through this. I'm here now, and I will always be."

Bucky moved his fingers to wipe the tears that had fallen to her cheeks. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, burying her face in his neck. And the feelings she only felt with Bucky came rushing. The feeling of safety and security. The warmth filed her body once she was in his arms. She found herself seeking these emotions lately. From him.

He said everything she needed to hear but wasn't told. It wasn't her fault. Her bestfriends aren't going to leave her because of it. She can recover now.

Bucky tightened his hold around her when he felt her tears on his neck. He pressed soft kissed on her hair, whispering sweet nothings in her ears. How he wanted to stay like this forever.

She smiled within her tears. It felt good when she and Bucky weren't bricking. She could get used to it.

..........................................................................................................

It's been a couple of weeks since she told Bucky and Steve. And It's been nice so far. True to his words, She never saw Ethan again. Whenever he tried to approach her, Bucky would make sure he never actually reached her. For Jack, she also succeeded in avoiding him as much as possible.

Ethan figured she had told him, so he thought his chances would be at her house again. He was faced with disappointment when he would visit and find her two friends sitting with her. Or that she is spending the night at one of their places. They were using her parents' negligence to the fullest. Two birds, One Stone.

She was starting to feel better. Thanks to Bucky. Because he kept his promise. He was always here. He was understanding and compassionate. He knew it was a tough journey and didn't mind. He knew it was bumpy and she didn't know the way, so he became her companion. They were figuring it out. Together.

There Y/N was, smiling, walking back home after having her nails done. She hadn't taken care of herself in a while. So when she found out her family would be going out of town for the week, she knew now was the time.

Her dreams of having the house all for herself for some time was destroyed the second she stepped in. There were people everywhere chatting and talking. Older People.

"Hey, Sis." Jack's voice rang through the place as she turned around to see her brother standing at the kitchen.

"Jack, I thought you were going to leave with mum and dad." She tried to hide the tremble in her voice when she saw all his friends present as well.

"And miss having an empty house?. Who do you think I'm?." He laughed as he started playing music and giving out drinks she didn't know how he could get them.

She didn't care to know right now. All she was thinking about was the fact that Jack was throwing a party. And if Jack was throwing a party, that meant one thing.

"Hey, beautiful." She flinched fast when she felt his breath on her neck. She turned to see him with his usual evil smirk.

"Didn't see you for a while. I missed you." He said as he moved towards her like a predator to his prey.

"But I will show you how much I missed you." He said as he was standing right in front of her now, making her freeze in her place and can't move.

"How about you going up to your room?. I will stay here for a bit then I will join you." Her breath caught in her throat.

"You have been escaping me long enough. So be a good girl and wait for me in your room." She felt her blood run cold when his hand touched her cheek.

He gave her wink before moving to join his friends again. She let out the breath she was holding. She knew now wasn't the time to panic. She had to act fast.

She ran up fast to her room. She locked the door and sprinted to the phone in the corner. She dialed his number, waiting for him to pick up. After the third ring, his cheerful voice reached her ears.

"Bucky." She called out for him like the desperate drowning human she was.

"Doll, what's wrong?." His cheerful tone was quickly replaced with a worried one.

"Jack didn't leave with my parents, and he is throwing a party downstairs, and Ethan is here." She couldn't hold the tears anymore, letting them fall on her face.

"Doll, I need you to get out of there right now." Bucky didn't need her to say more to know what was going on.

"I can't. He already saw me and they are staying by the door." She started wiping the tears, but they wouldn't stop. She could sense the panic rising in.

"Okay. I need you to listen to me very carefully. Stay in your room. Lock the door and put a chair at it. Keep your window open and wait for me." She nodded her head at his words but spoke up when she realized he couldn't see her.

"I will be there very shortly." Bucky said before he hung up. And she believed him

She checked on her lock again and added the chair, then opened her window. Just like Bucky said. She sat on the floor under the window waiting for him.

Bucky ran faster than he had ever run in his life. He was a man on a mission. He had to get there. He promised her he wouldn't let anything happen to her. He promised himself.

He didn't catch his breath when he got to the house, but rather continued running till he reached the back of the house where her room is.

"Y/N." He called out for her. He tried not to make much noise, so nobody would notice him.

He realized she wasn't going to hear him with loud music playing. So he took the smallest rock he could find and threw it in her room.

Y/N was startled when the rock landed on her bedroom floor. She got up slowly and looked through the window.

"Bucky." She couldn't help the smile formed on her face at the sight of him. She was going to be alright.

"Y/N, I'm going to need you to jump." Her heart dropped at his words. Her room wasn't very high but she didn't know if she could.

As if Bucky could read her mind. " Doll, I promise I'm going to catch you. You will be okay." He reassured her. He would never let her get hurt.

She knew that was their only option, and she trusted Bucky. So she did.

She felt Bucky's arms steadying her to her feet on the ground, checking her. Instantly, He pulled her into him, keeping his grip firm but secure.

"You're okay. You're safe." Bucky kept repeating in her ears. She could finally breathe again.

......................................................................................................................

Their night dragged to be longer than both of them thought. After managing to escape her house, unseen. Bucky figured she was still shaken. So he took her to their favorite burger place

They ate their favorite burgers and cheered to a milkshake. They stayed until the place was about to close. Laughter and talks never stopping. Before she could think about it. Bucky walked both of them to his house.

Winnie and George welcomed her with open arms when Bucky told them she would be staying for a while. The adults loved the girl like their own, and they could easily see through their son. They knew how much he truly cared about her. More than he said or even knew then.

Leading her to the extra room they keep for their children's friends and borrowing something to wear from Rebecca. She was all settled for bed.

But as if he knew. She was having trouble sleeping. So he knocked on her door at 3AM, telling her he had a plan.

That is how they ended up now, sitting on the sand in front of the water watching the sunrise.

The sound of water crushing into the shore, the smell of salt, the feeling of warm sand, and the wind running free, the faint light of sun in the sky. It was relaxing.

Close to perfect. However, having Bucky next to her made it perfect.

All he had done lately was only pushing her to one end. A one she didn't ever think was possible. But she wasn't complaining anymore.

As they watched the sunrise, she found herself wishing to stay here forever. A peaceful moment. With Bucky.

Because nowadays, whenever she thought of anything good, Bucky is always there. He is her something good.

She turned to look at him but he was already looking at her. His sunrise. His most beautiful sight.

"Thank you, Bucky." She felt the need to say it. Not just for today. But for everything.

He smiled gently at her and leant to press a kiss to her forehead.

"I got you, doll" Bucky said softly

"Always." He added, looking at her with his blue eyes

She laid her head on his shoulder, holding his hand in her lap.

From that day on, she knew she was going be alright. Life was going to be okay. She would never be scared again. She was safe. She found her peace. She found a true home.

So in an honest peace offering, she ended the battle with herself with an epic win

She is in love with Bucky Barnes.

And him, he finally understood his feelings. He finally knew what it was.

Bucky Barnes is in love with Y/N

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bestjeanistmonster · 2 years

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The Rightful and ignored Heir

I have an au that focuses on Margaret cuz she deserves a personality and this basically serves as a bit of rewrite just in Margaret and Gilthunder’s pov, where Margaret manages to escape prison by herself in season one.

(This is also building off my headcanon that Margaret was the castle battle strategist as well as heir to the throne)

So she’s declared missing and then they all assume she's dead in season 2 as well but she's acting as a full on fugitive or maybe she's just living covertly under a different name in a town far from Liones

Anyway the whole point of this is so Margaret can rally the common folk to fight and protect their land, I just think that would be powerful for the girl who's next in line to the throne to do this especially since no one bothered to even try rallying the people

I also wanna flesh out her personality a little and give her a goal that's not to marry gilthunder, Nakaba-

I also still want her to retain bitterness over the actions of the holy knights. Sure some were part of the new generation but a majority were not. These holy knights who harmed people to feel stronger and more powerful, who let their ambitions blind them to what truly mattered and the lower ranked knights who took advantage of this corruption to do what they pleased.

There was no excuse for these actions and that to be neat if Margaret was the one calling this shit out and disagreeing with her father’s almost instantly forgiveness of them. I also want some of this bitterness and anger to carry towards her relationship with Gil cuz I want that hatred of him to last longer

I also wanna dissect her relationship to her father (giving Baltra development as well) cuz i thought that Baltra would’ve preferred if he had a son to take over the throne and kind of had to settle for teaching Margaret how to be the Queen (passive lady training and other stuff) and then teach her future husband (who he suspects as Gilthunder) to actively rule the kingdom.

He still loves her of course, more than anything and wants to keep her safe and sheltered but this insistency on having a male take over throne would put a strain on their relationship because it makes Margaret feel cheated out of her birthright based on her gender

So I want Margaret to keep these bitter feeling to herself and teach herself how to be the reigning monarch without Baltra’s knowledge. She’s capable of ruling its just that her father stubbornly ignores this

I want her to then confront him about it.

She would never want to push such a responsibility onto her sisters because she knows how much a burden the crown is. So no she does not give up the throne.

My brain: hey wouldn’t it be funny if Baltra realises that Margaret’s not giving it up and he was the one who tried to give the throne to Veronica who was extremely not interested in this ‘ruling business’ and then in his desperation to have a male heir he asks Meliodas in public in front of many witnesses to marry Elizabeth, basically peer pressuring him to become king. And then Margaret who was a bit in shock swoops in saving him from and answering and publicly calls out her father for trying to give away her birthright to someone else?

(Maybe her and Meliodas have a quiet conversation about it cuz their both the oldest siblings and both heirs to the throne even though Meliodas just gave it up for Elizabeth and it sparks a bit of a good natured debate about responsibility and stuff.

They both leave that conversation with slightly altered views)

Also Margaret becoming queen also opens the possibility of her and Zeldris becoming friend cuz he appreciates her chill, levelheadedness as well as her soft spoken tone of voice that she retains at all times meanwhile she appreciates that while his temper is short at times, he is logical, straight to the point and always striving to make the lives of his people better overall.

During meeting about trade and annual meetings in Liones between the four clans, they often have tea and enjoyable discussion.

That’s about all I’ve got for now.

ALSO ITS MY BIRTHDAY 🥳 🎉

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pixel-dreamz · 10 months

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We are back again in Chestnut Peak! This is the beginning of the fourth round, in Spring. Today we are back with the first founding family, the Carmine household. Prepare for chaos!

Immediately upon the beginning of their round, Mrs. Eldora Lou Carmine discovers that she is expecting their fourth child. They are really hoping for a little boy. As much as they love their daughters, they fear their family name will end if a son is not born.

Eldora is finding that she is having a harder time with this pregnancy. Her energy levels are dangerously low and she is barely able to tend to her own needs, let a lone the needs of her family and home. This is not ideal seeing as she is the main caretaker and caregiver of the home.

Albert Kip Carmine is not always a patient man. But his wife and daughters have begun to teach him that he must restrain himself even in the hardest times. Though he would much prefer to leave most of the child rearing and home keeping to his wife, he does step in more with Eldora struggling through this pregnancy. Afterall, he is far from dumb and he understands that she may be carrying his heir. Not only that, but should anything happen to Eldora herself, he would be devestated.

Unfortunately, Piper continues to be ill. She tries to help here and there but due to her horrible cough and fatigue, she isn't able to do much at all. This puts even more strain on everyone in the household. They worry gravely for the well-being of their eldest child and have to take even greater care of her while she heals.

Archibald Ramsay Frobisher comes around to the family home to clean the gong pit and collect the ash. The addition to their family is a great one indeed.

During the night, Piper wakes unable to breathe. The sickness has really done her harm and she drops to the ground.

Eldora is a light sleeper, particularly when it comes to her children. She hears the commotion and pleads for her daughter's safety. Much to her surprise, Piper Starla is saved and recovers from her illness.

With a new take on life, restored energy and a new sense of curiousness, Piper loves being outdoors - something she wasn't able to do much of due to her illness. She spends the morning trying to catch the butterflies in the garden while Eldora watches over and tends to some plants. Though she knows Piper is saved, Eldora does still fear for the safety of her daughter.

With the near demise of his eldest daughter, Albert truly does see the benefit of spending time with his children. Though he always understood it to a point, knowing that life is so finite, even for your own children, he steps into the role of father with even greater confidence.

With Piper feeling much better, the family starts her on some learning. Every morning she practices her letters and script in the home. Much to her parents' frustration though, Piper is a very spirited little girl. She has a hard time staying at her desk very long before she is occupying herself with much busier activities.

Eldora Lou's pregnancy continues with a lot of struggles. Now in her third trimester, both her energy and hunger are constantly draining. She feels both exhausted and ravenous most of her days and struggles to do much other than eat and sleep. She struggles mentally as well knowing that her family needs her and she is unable to provide much of the support they expect of her.

Albert really has stepped up in the home as much as he can during this time. If Eldora is resting, he does his best to comfort his youngest daughters when they need. But of course, his main duty is still the vegetable garden. This spring things are taking a slow start in that regard...

Even while heavily pregnant, exhausted, starving and usually quite stinky, Eldora is still a fantastic mom. Though she mainly has time for Phoebe - who requires her mother to nurse - she does her best to make sure all her girls know that she is still there for them.

Despite being full of energy, Piper Starla does her best to help around the house. She is beginning to understand that her mother is having a hard time keeping up with things, and that it is her duty as eldest daughter to help where she can. She does as much as she is able to between her school work and play time.

It is finally time to welcome their fourth AND fifth children into the world. Yes, this pregnancy was indeed harder due to the fact that Eldora was carrying twins. Both mom and dad are quite stunned that their family has gone from 5 to 7 so quickly.

And, as even more of a surprise, the twins are both girls. The elder twin they named Paige Lori Carmine and the younger one, Penelope Ellen Carmine. Penelope is the only daughter thus far to inherit Eldora's grey eyes and Albert's brown hair. Will this family ever get an heir?

Soon after the birth of the twins, it is time for Phoebe Eldora's birthday. She is a beautiful mix of her parents. With a sweet nature, and an even sweeter face, she is sure to catch the attention of many as she ages.

You would think that with 5 fairly young children (the eldest only being 6 at this point), they would slow down. However, they still require an heir. So, they find themselves entangled in the sheets once again.

To bring spring to an end, most of the family falls ill. It seems the gong pit got quite overfull before Archibald was able to come and clean it again. Hopefully this illness does not have tragic consequences...

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End of Round Stats:

Albert and Eldora are both 29, Piper is 6.5, Prudence (who isn't seen much this round) is 2, Phoebe is 1 and the twins are 3 months old.

The family has earned no money this round due to their crops not bearing any fruit at all. They began the round with $386. After paying Archibald and their rent, they were left with a mere 86 simoleons.

Both Eldora and Piper are sick with the flu.

#ts2 #sims 2 #rotational gameplay #chestnutpeak #historical gameplay #victorian sims #sims2 #round 4 #Carmine Family #Spring

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stinkysdiner · 1 year

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Grandpa Stinky Cared about Girl Stinky

actually...what the hell i'll reshare my old essay about grandpa stinky and girl stinky's relationship. they're on my mind this morning. originally wrote this in like...2018 maybe? maybe earlier. idk it’s several years old, and i made some minor edits. be on the lookout for when i post a big collection of all my old essays to Ao3 LMAO enjoy!

Grandpa Stinky and Girl Stinky’s relationship is honestly one of the most interesting but rarely discussed dynamics in the series...and that’s unfortunate because their relationship is the one instance of Grandpa Stinky actually caring about another living being. And it’s especially tragic once you bring in the fact that Stinky herself did not care about her “grandfather” in the first place.

Throughout the course of season three, Grandpa Stinky is becoming increasingly more aware that Girl Stinky is, in fact, plotting something against him (though he has no clue as to what it is). And while he even goes so far as to hire a private investigator to figure out what exactly she’s doing, he never outright says he blames her or even says he’s particularly angry with her. He takes jabs (“...the talking statue and cockroach demographic…”) at her, sure, but he never says he hates her or shows anything resembling downright resentment. The farthest he goes is saying things like “That woman is up to no good,” or that he’ll have “a little chat with [his] so-called granddaughter.” In fact, when Flint tells him to his face that Stinky is nothing more than a con-artist, do you know how Grandpa Stinky reacts when asked about her? He does nothing but insult Sal. He only ever replies that the duo are “up to something,” but saves every insult he has for the one who didn’t even mastermind the murder plot in the first place.

Even so far back as season two, it’s evident that Grandpa Stinky legitimately cares about Girl Stinky and genuinely considers her a part of his family. For one, he went so far as to sign over the deed to the diner to her in the event of his death. And when he believes he’s turned Girl Stinky back into the Cake of the Damned (though, of course, this is revealed in season three to just be an elaborate illusion and a part of her scheme), he panics and admits that he’s “made a terrible mistake” and needs her back immediately. In his own words, “The girl always was better about keeping her head about her, much as I hate to admit it.” Consider how big of a statement this is for a moment: Grandpa Stinky, one of the most self-righteous and mean characters of the series, just complimented another character and admitted she was better than him at something. Girl Stinky was “his most promising student” and he is very clearly proud of the fact that he “raised” her. She’s more than just a student or protege; she is his family.

This is not to mention the fact that Grandpa Stinky actively wants what is best for his granddaughter, going so far as to think she should court Skun-ka’pe. Girl Stinky even says that her grandfather constantly nagged on her to get with Skun-ka’pe because he’s “going places'' and “has a future.” Not only does Grandpa Stinky see Girl Stinky as his only family, but he also sees her as such an important person in his life that he wants her to have a future past the diner (and maybe even subtly implying he might want great-grandchildren). As much as he would probably never admit it, Grandpa Stinky was a parent figure who actively sought to make sure his granddaughter would have a good life (of course, that doesn’t mean he necessarily understood what she wanted, but I digress).

The Stinky’s are two characters who are similar in respect to how they handle their emotions and how they deal with other people, especially each other. Both have a tendency to put out a very brash and cold exterior, generally pushing people away in an effort to not seem vulnerable, but as evidenced by their respective arcs in season three, both have softer sides to themselves and are obviously capable of caring for people besides themselves. While Girl Stinky may have only truly cared about herself and Sal, it’s wrong to assume that Grandpa Stinky didn’t actually care about his “granddaughter.” Even when he realized she was doing nothing but conning him, he never says he hates her; if anything, he was probably impressed she was able to do it at all. For once, someone was able to break down his rough exterior and make him care about another living being, and it’s no surprise considering she was so much like him. He was proud of her, and he loved her as much as any crotchety old grandfather would.

Also, all this being said, I would genuinely love to see an epilogue of sorts for Grandpa Stinky because I think he’s actually really lonely without her and he would probably be trying to actually perfect the Cake of the Damned or some other recipe. He’d be acting mad because she just proved he didn’t get the recipe right, but in reality just wants someone else to care for and teach. I think he genuinely misses her after her death, and it’s something I’m gonna explore in my fic.

#sam and max #sam & max #girl stinky #girl stinky sam and max #grandpa stinky #grandpa stinky sam and max

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soft-cryptids · 1 year

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Hi Emilia. I just want to say seriously how much your ep8 Joel & Ellie piece is just incredible. I’ve really enjoyed seeing your work on the dash over the past couple of months while TLOU has been on, and it has always taken my breath away. This most recent one is just — gorgeous and devastating. The way you’ve captured Ellie’s expression … it’s a look that so many women and girls know so well, and it is just perfectly detailed. Honestly, truly, amazing. Thank you for sharing with us!

Hi Nonnie! Gosh, thank you so, so much - I am extremely happy to hear that you think so! Man. This piece is very emotionally loaded, but then so is the episode - apparently the Winter chapter always hits hard, no matter if it's the game or the show. It makes it so clear that Ellie, while she's smart and strong and capable it's still a child, a young teenager who suddenly has to not only keep herself alive, but also take care of Joel - the pressure is absolutely crushing. And she does it. It makes her take risks she maybe wouldn't have had taken otherwise, but God, she does it - she makes sure that the place they stay in is safe, she keeps Joel as warm as she can, checks for fever, checks the wound, gives him water and whatever they have left of food. That alone is absolutely terrifying, without the perspective of having other hostile people or infected added to the equation.

And the way she hesitantly cuddled up with Joel, and just lied there, her head on his shoulder, mind probably running wild through all the possible scenarios, all the what if's and maybes? (And how he slightly moves his head towards her? I cried, Nonnie. I am surprised I was able to see anything at all of this episode with how freaking teary eyed I was most of the time) I just- I just love Ellie with my whole heart, okay? This whole episode she was both terrified and so, so determined, and fucking hell, it broke me. She locked the house, she picked the rifle that was almost as big as she is, and she went hunting. She went hunting knowing she has to bring something back, knowing that her failure might cost her both Joel's and her's life. And then, there's David. David is hands down the worst enemy I have ever had the displeasure of facing - he makes my skin crawl and my insides turn. I have to say, big kudos for HBO for making him as awful in the show as he was in the game. David and his dead shark eyes and shark smiles, a man that activates all of your fight and flight responses the second your eyes land on him. And you're a fourteen years old girl, trying to stay alive, trying to make a deal while suffocating under enormous time pressure - every wasted minute might mean losing the chance of saving the person you love with all of your heart, who is currently wounded, sick, and barely breathing, tucked under some dirty blankets in a freezing basement of a house you're way too far away from. I cannot even imagine the absolute fucking terror Ellie had to feel when later they came back for her - for them - and she had to make another hard choice. How she put that knife in Joel's hand, who was barely conscious at that point, making sure he could defend himself before leaving the house, locking it up, and trying to led them away, making sure they are hunting her because staying there and waiting form them to inevitably find them meant death, because she won't be able to protect them both. So she left, she got their attention, she ran the exact opposite way of someone who means safety to her, because that was her best shot at keeping him - them - alive. And then they got her, and kept her in a cage, with no means of escaping, not knowing what they want to do with her, not knowing if they got Joel or not - only knowing she has to get out, escape, because she has no time to waste, because for all she knows her dying also meant leaving Joel to slowly die in that basement, no food, no water, his whole world just a fever dream where you're not sure what's real and what's not. That, or the men will get to him first. And there's David; David making you recoil more violently than any infected ever could, David and his sickly, rotting-sweet words and clammy hands. And he tells her how they are the same, how he can be her teacher, her father, have her be his equal. And Ellie fights, and screams, and bite - and God, she's so smart but still just fourteen, everyone is bigger and stronger than she is, her chances of fighting someone 1 on 1 and winning are slim to none. People who have never played the game - I need you to understand just how terrifying the part of escaping the restaurant is. From a technical point of view it is not that hard, sure. But it's terrifying, having David hunt you through the kitchen and the dining hall, having to sneak around the tables, watching for broken plates on the floor - because if you made a mistake you were as good as dead; he was fast, and he was stronger than you, and you couldn't even see him in the dark. David was scary, and it was such instinctual fear that you can feel it in your bones - and Ellie's just a girl. And he's hunting her like an animal and enjoying it. David was scary for so many other reasons than being a cult leader and a cannibal.

And then Ellie is able to save herself, hands wrapped tight around the hilt of that meat cleaver, and she just strikes, and strikes, and strikes, even after David's long gone, his blood cooling on her skin. It's the fear, the rage, the horror - not just because of David, but because of everything that lead up to this moment. And she looks so dazed after she leaves the restaurant, and she barely takes a dozen of steps before she thinks she has to fight for her life again. But then it's Joel, all soft voice and steady hands, and you can see the moment she realizes it, really sees him through the haze of adrenaline and all of her instincts screaming for her to fight and run and survive. You can see it in the way her shoulders slump, how her eyes search his face, still barely focused, how she tries to tell him what happened, because he's here, he came for her, he's warm and alive and he's her home. And when she moves to hug him he holds her, because he's got her now, it's okay, baby girl, he won't let anything else happen to her, he will always come for her, he will do anything for her, to keep her safe. . He's gentle, and patient, and he wraps her in his jacket, staying close, trying to offer all the comfort he can, Because Joel might not always be a good man, but being a good, loving dad is the only way he knows how to be a father And Ellie's empty stare is haunting, vacant eyes not really focused on anything, her mind not being able to deal with all the horrors anymore, everything crashing the moment she feels like she is safe, everything crashing untill all you feel is nothing - just a cold, numb void. Bella deserves all the awards just for this episode alone - we couldn't have imagined a better Ellie. All the emotions and feeling they put on the screen....God, it broke my heart. I couldn't help but to just... sit down and draw it, you know Nonnie? I can't stop thinking about this ep. Again, thank you so, so much for the ask! And... I do apologize for the rant. I, uh. Have a lot of feelings about it all. Your message means the world <3

#the last of us #Ellie Williams #Joel Miller #tlou spoilers #hbo tlou #answering stuff #thank you Nonnie #art stuff #honestly #it means so so much to hear that #your message made me a tiny bit emotional #but I wanted to wait till I will be fully awake to reply #and man sorry for the rambling

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wickedsrest-rp-archive · 2 years

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Name: Ceyda Yilmaz Species: Hunter (Ranger) Occupation: Kickboxing Instructor Age: 36 Years Old Played by: Han Face Claim: Tuba Büyüküstün

“No amount of planning can save you from becoming lost.”

There had never been any question of what Ceyda’s life would look like. From the time she could walk and hold a knife, her role in this world had been instilled in her. Instead of bedtime stories, she learned the ins and outs of werewolves and other beasts. There were no fuzzy feelings or happy endings in these stories. It was fight after fight until she couldn’t fight anymore. While it never sounded like something she’d call her dream, it was easy. Ceyda never had to think of what she wanted her life to look like, it was already decided for her and she was more than content to go along as planned.

The home schooling her parents provided as she grew older in their small town in Michigan hardly included subjects like art or science. Only the bare minimum of maths and language she would need to survive in the world were anything that resembled a normal curriculum. There was no kickball in her physical education, only dodging blows and building strength. Classic novels were never on the list, instead she was fed information on all the beasts she could encounter as a ranger and most importantly, the dangers of werewolves. She absorbed all of it and was determined to honor the generations of hunters that came before her.

Ceyda did just that as she grew older, even when her parents were long gone. She was out every full moon and consistently kept an eye out for anything dangerous in town all while managing to somehow make it past the age of 30. That was nearly unheard of in their community of hunters and it was something that had garnered her respect amongst other hunters though not the same could be said for the wolves.

It was a rainy full moon when she was out with the Kaplans and their daughter, Aylin. With it being the first full moon since Aylin’s 16th birthday, it was time for the teenager to go for her first real hunt. All of them had been looking forward to the night. Though not great with kids, Ceyda always had a soft spot for Aylin and loved training with her when her parents asked. However, it took a bloodier turn than expected. A local pack of wolves had been prepared for them and the rangers were quickly outnumbered. When Aylin’s parents fell, Ceyda did her best to block it from the girl’s sight, but there was no use. She wanted to avenge them, destroy those wolves, but Aylin’s choked sob reminded her she was responsible for getting Aylin out of this.

So Ceyda did the only thing she could think of, she grabbed Aylin’s arm and took off running as the wolves continued to rip apart what remained of her parents. In that moment, the mantra of fight until she couldn’t fight anymore was torn from her mind and panic arose. Aylin was just a kid, she had to protect her. She reasoned with herself that hunters were supposed to protect, but it still felt weak.

With their faces known, Ceyda and Aylin were quick to grab what they could and skip town. For a few years, they traveled before landing upon White Crest. It seemed like a strange enough town for them to simply blend in. With Aylin still shaken from the events of her 16th birthday, Ceyda has put actively hunting to the side in favor of trying to give the teenager a normal life. It has proven difficult to adjust to what most would call a normal life given everything she knows. Every full moon, Ceyda feels a good deal of pent-up anxious energy and she can still feel the presence of werewolves as she roams the town. There must be some sort of middle ground where Ceyda can do right by the teen in her care and still keep up with her duty to protect those who can’t protect themselves, but Ceyda has yet to find it.

Character Facts:

Personality: Protective, disciplined, stoic, rigid, stubborn, reliable. misguided

While not actively hunting for the sake of the teenager in her care, Ceyda is still disgusted by werewolves and other supernatural creatures and believes they need to be eliminated.

Ceyda always has a number of weapons on her just in case that she hopes she never has to utilize them in front of Aylin.

With her proficiency in fighting, kickboxing instructor seemed like a natural direction to go in, though her boss has told her she needs to pull back the intensity on several occasions.

Though living with a teenager has somewhat improved her social skills, Ceyda still struggles navigating social situations.

Since moving to White Crest and settling in, Ceyda has adopted a pair of Tuxedo kittens named Bata and Emira.

#taken #human #taken human #hunter #taken hunter #tough love #all

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dauntless-gothamite · 3 years

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Prove Them Wrong [2/?]

Fandom: Divergent Pairing: Eric Coulter x Fem! Reader Summary: Y/N is a Dauntless transfer from Erudite, and she has a drive, an ambition that sets her apart--it always has, even back in Erudite. She brings her perseverance (and need to prove others wrong) to Dauntless when she transfers, and she uses her mind to make her way through the initiation process. Along the way, she makes friends and enemies, and she finds herself comfortable around the man most people in Dauntless avoid at all costs: Eric Coulter. A/N: it seems this may be a little bit of a slow burn, based on the pacing and where I am in chapter three right now... Enjoy!

You woke up to the sound of metal clanging together, an unpleasant alarm if you’d ever heard one. “Get up, get dressed, and be in the training room in two minutes,” Four said, banging the metal together one last time before leaving the room.

Everyone scrambled to get dressed in their new black Dauntless clothes, and as people entered the training area, they began to form a semicircle around Four and Eric. “Ok, let’s get started,” Four said, clapping his hands together. “There are two stages of training. The first is physical, you will push your bodies to the breaking point and you will master the methods of combat. The second is mental, again breaking point. You’ll face your worst fears and conquer them--unless they get you first. You’ll be trained separately from the Dauntless-born, but you’ll be ranked together. After initiations, rankings will determine what jobs you move into: leadership, guarding the fence, or keeping the factionless from killing each other.”

“The rankings will also determine who gets cut,” Eric cut in, rising from where he sat on a concrete slab. An uneasy whisper spread throughout the initiates. No one knew about this, and you had to admit, you were getting a bit nervous yourself. “At the end of each stage of training, the lowest-ranking initiates will be leaving us,” Eric continued.

“To do what?” asked Al.

“Well, you can’t go home to your families, so you’ll be factionless.”

Another wave of murmurs rippled through the crowd of initiates, but it was quickly silenced by Eric’s glare. “Someone should have told us,” Christina said.

“Why? Would you have chosen differently? Out of fear?” Eric replied challengingly. “I mean, if that’s the case, you might as well get out now. If you’re really one of us, it won’t matter to you that you might fail, alright? You chose us. Now, we get to choose you.” Eric looked at each initiate, his blue eyes challenging each person to look away. Some people did, others didn’t. You didn’t.

Instead, you held his intense gaze as the itch to prove others wrong that had been inside you since the day you were born rose up, ready to be set free. What Eric said was scary, but it didn’t matter--all your years of studying the faction system told you that they would try to scare the initiates, and while you hadn’t expected this, you had known it wouldn’t be easy. But you had worked your ass off for years to be top of the class in Erudite, and you’d be damned if you weren’t going to do the same here, in your new faction.

“Everyone, get some water before we move into the next segment of training,” Four called out. It took everything in you not to bend over as some others were doing; you knew standing up straight, getting fresh air in your lungs, would make the cramp in your abdomen go away faster, even if it hurt more now.

“Tris, stand up straight,” you whispered to your friend, who was red-faced after running twenty laps around the room, which was everyone’s warm-up for the day.

“Just so you know, tomorrow we won’t just be running laps,” Four said, surveying all the tired initiates. “So get used to this.”

You sighed, mentally thanking yourself for joining a small workout group in Erudite. It was fairly new, and it was only created because studies showed that after some physical activity, the brain was better equipped to come back to problems it struggled with earlier and continue working whereas remaining stagnant was more likely to result in burnout and fatigue. The workouts were nothing like this, but you were still appreciative of them.

“Alright, everyone find a punching bag and start hitting. Eric and I will be walking around correcting your form, but it’s on you to put our advice into practice. Go,” Four announced after barely even a minute of the “break” had gone by.

Turning on your heel, you walked over to the nearest punching bag and lined yourself up. Feet spread evenly about as wide as your shoulders, then step the left foot forward just a bit. Knees bent slightly, fists raised high. Then, you get to punching.

After what felt like an hour of hearing Four quietly critiquing other students between Eric’s shouts of disappointment at other initiates, the two trainers finally got to your area of the training room. Out of the corner of your eye you caught Four walking up to Tris, slightly adjusting her position and giving helpful tips. Another set of footsteps came to a stop behind you, which meant Eric would be the one helping you. Your shoulders tensed for a moment, but you quickly forced yourself into a more relaxed position and continued punching. Just pretend he isn’t there, you told yourself. After hitting the punching bag six times, called out “Stop” from behind you. He walked over to your side and took a fighting stance. “Make sure your hips are square, like this, so when you throw a punch with the hand that is further back, you can twist your hips and use core strength to put more power into it,” he said stoically, and you did your best to mimic his stance. “No, like this,” he said, grabbing your hips and twisting them, holding you firmly in place for a second before letting go. “Try it now,” he said. You started throwing punches again, and he nodded before silently walking away. When you paused to readjust your stance, you heard Eric yell “Did I say you could stop, Y/N? No, I did not; keep going!” You took a deep breath and began the next onslaught of punches as the room fell quiet save for the sound of fists hitting punching bags, a rhythmic thumping sound.

“First jumper!” Eric called out, disrupting the steady beat and sense of calmness in the room. “In the ring.” Beside him, Four sighed and looked down at his feet, and you had a bad feeling about whatever was about to happen. “Last jumper,” he continued, looking at a girl with dark hair--you think you may have heard her friends call her Molly, but you aren’t entirely sure. “Time to fight.”

Tris and the girl stepped up to the ring. “How long do we fight for?” the girl asked.

“Until one of you can’t continue,” Eric said in response.

“Or one of you concedes,” Four interjected, stepping forward.

“According to the old rules,” Eric corrected. “With the new rules, no one concedes.”

“You really want to lose someone in their first fight?”

“Well, a brave man never surrenders.”

“Lucky for you, those weren’t the rules when we fought.”

Eric clenched his jaw, irritated, before saying “You’ll be scored on this, so fight hard.” Tris and the other girl squared up and began to circle each other, but Eric was getting impatient. “Go!” he barked.

After nearly falling off the mat, Tris lunged, but the other girl dodged, twisted, and retaliated with a swing of her own, landing a punch to Tris’ face. As Tris retreated, the other girl pressed her advantage, catching Tris’ waist, bending her over, and punching her stomach a few times before Tris managed to break free of her hold. Just as she reached the end of the mat and turned, Tris was met with another punch to the face, sending her to the floor. The other girl--Molly--glanced at Eric since Tris was down, and he nodded, signaling Molly to send one last blow Tris’ way, knocking her out. As you watched the fight, you felt bad for your friend; she was much smaller than Molly, and part of you wanted to speak up about the cruelty that the trainers were showing, but you shoved it down. There was no need to compromise your position right now.

“Next,” Eric yelled, pointing to a girl named Selene and a former Candor named Peter who had made fun of Tris, calling her a Stiff several times. You secretly hoped Selene would kick his ass, but it was unlikely, he was tall and strong, plus he was willing to fight dirty--he’d admitted as much in the dorm area. Guess he still couldn’t keep his mouth shut, even though he’d left Candor.

Selene was tough; what she lacked in strength she made up for in endurance, but after a few rounds of dodging Peter’s punches, he finally landed one to her solar plexus, stunning her, allowing him to sweep her legs out from underneath her and kick her as she lay on the ground. You clenched your jaw as he did so, feeling anger rise up inside of you. Selene was unable to fight, that was the stopping point of the fights, but Peter was still kicking her. And Eric, the emotionless person that he was, didn’t do anything.

“Peter,” you said, “stop it.” Peter turned towards you and smirked.

“What are you going to do if I don’t?” he taunted. You considered for a second before turning to Eric.

Looking up at him, you steeled yourself. “I know we don’t get to determine the fighting order, or who we fight, but I would like to fight Peter. Now,” you said, sure to keep your voice level and maintain eye contact with the leader.

He raised an eyebrow at you curiously, and thankfully, Peter had stopped kicking Selene when you started speaking to Eric. Selene scooted to the edge of the mat, but that was as far as she could move without assistance. “You two,” Eric yelled at two initiates, “help Four get this one,” he pointed at Selene, “to the infirmary.” Then he turned back to you. “What are you waiting for, initiate? Get up there.” For a moment you were stunned, you didn’t actually think you would end up fighting Peter, and you knew that both Eric and Peter were expecting you to lose quickly. You caught Four’s eye as he carried Selene out with the help of two initiates, and you looked around to see Christina, Tris, Will, Al, Edward, Molly, and a few other initiates staring at you like you were mad. Maybe you were, but it was too late to back out now. You stood in a low, sturdy fighting stance, just like Eric had shown you. Peter did the same. For a moment, the room was dead silent as your eyes locked with his, and then both of you whipped into action.

Peter went right for the face punch, but you quickly blocked upward and threw a low roundhouse kick at his knee, making him wobble. He recovered quickly, and he quickly used his height to his advantage, moving to grab your shoulder and slam you into the ground. You were smart though, and you let him move you slightly before turning the downwards motion into momentum that allowed you to do a somersault, twisting his arm and landing on your feet. As he was turning around to face you, you sent a snap kick right to the back of his knee, making it buckle. You moved quickly to his other side, ready to send a few punches to his face and knock him out, but he sprung forward, wrapping strong hands around your neck and squeezing. For a moment you panicked, hitting his arms, but they didn’t move. Everyone was sure that was it for you, but you had another trick up your sleeve--Peter was overly confident this would weaken you and in the process of squeezing, he had left his own body defenseless. So you kicked him in the groin. Hard. He called out and released you, and as he leaned over in an instinctual reaction to pain, you kicked his forehead with your knee, shoved him to the side, knocking him over, and kicked him again, this time in the solar plexus. You stood there, stone-faced, and when Peter didn’t make a move to fight back, you turned to Eric, who nodded, and you jumped down from the mat.

You landed next to Will, Tris, and Christina, all of whom were staring at you in a mixture of horror and admiration. You blushed in embarrassment and looked at the ground, thinking to yourself, What the hell did I just do? You were so lost in thought that you didn’t realize the next two initiates were on the mat and fighting, and you only came back to yourself when Eric yyelled, “Hey! Are you deaf, initiate? I said go grab some ice for your neck, I don’t want to hear complaints about it tomorrow!”

You nodded to your friends and said “I’ll be back in a minute,” shocked at how hoarse your voice was. “Just going to… yeah,” you trailed off before walking quickly towards the infirmary.

A/N: can you tell I love writing fight scenes? also I do martial arts and have played sports my whole life, so I love when I get to use my knowledge of anatomy and physiology two write action scenes :)

Tag List: @shykoolaid

#eric coulter #eric coulter imagine #eric coulter x reader #divergent #divergent im #dauntless #erudite #divergent fanfiction #abnegation #amity #candor #tris prior #four divergent #tobias eaton #peter hayes #caleb prior #motherfxking-flannel #motherfxking flannel

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ootahime · 3 years

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analyzing every gojohime moment in the manga 😈

this series will probably have more than one part because tumblr only lets me upload ten images per post </3

warning: there are disgustingly long paragraphs in here and delusions

chapter 32

utahime’s first introduction! akutami lets us know right off the bat that she thinks gojo is an idiot (so true).

chapter 32

i love the contrast between miwa and utahime’s reaction to gojo’s appearance.

chapter 33

NAH BC TELL ME WHY HE WENT OUT OF HIS WAY TO NOT GET HER ONE LMAOOOO!! when he traveled overseas to meet with yuta, he picked up the tribal protection charms and thought to himself, “let’s get enough for the kyoto students as a gift since i am such a great and caring teacher, after all. mmm, i should skip utahime to make her mad~” this guy puts way too much effort into getting on her nerves. his mind = utahime brainrot

chapter 33

she’s laughing at him here because he’s getting disciplined for being a lil shit. i wonder...what would he say if he saw her laughing at him like that?

chapter 33

this interaction between them is a little strange don’t you think? i feel like over the years he’s learned how to pick up her mood based on the way she’s acting towards him. you’re probably thinking, “well any person can figure out how a person’s feeling based on the way they’re talking or acting.” yes, that’s absolutely true, but it’s kind of different with this. she’s acting normal. utahime has a rather indifferent expression on her face and what she says is spoken in a calm tone, but gojo still asks her if she’s mad at him. it’s likely that he knows her well enough to be able to notice these subtle things. even if she wasn’t actually mad at him, he was being considerate for a split second, then he went and said, “of course. i didn’t do anything wrong and all.” what a guy LOLOL. to me, this implies that maybe he made her genuinely angry in the past to the point where he realized that he went too far, and thus decided to be more careful of her feelings. she has definitely gotten annoyed at him so many times after that so whenever she seems angry, he probably asks himself if he took it too far. i’m curious to see if he can pick up if she’s upset with something that’s not involving him. would he console her? how does gojo satoru console someone?

despite him always annoying her, she’s still courteous and brings him a cup of tea during their talk. she didn’t have to go out of her way to get tea for him but she did. that’s the kind of person utahime is. a kind and caring woman who would never put her students in danger. in the anime they were sitting far away and not facing each other like they’re doing in the manga. she also has her own tea cup. i think that little panel of her placing the cup down on the table and him picking it up to take a sip is a nice little detail. it just proves that her hating him most of the time isn’t actually pure hatred but annoyance because of his shenanigans and teasing.

chapter 33

i touched upon this a little bit in my previous post, but i wish to go more in depth about this panel. first of all, he ends the sentence with her name twice. two times too many, mr. gojo. i like how they can be serious with each other too LOL. i wish we got to see them talk about the traitors because they did figure it out together after all. does it always end in bickering? can they interact with each other like adults all the way through? somehow, i feel like that’s not possible when it comes to these two. furthermore, notice how gojo confides in utahime about his suspicions. from what we know, she is the first person he brought it up to. i mean, i guess he has to start investigating the schools and would need extra assistance to save time, but he could have done it himself if he really wanted to. by deciding to ask for her help we know that he thinks she’s trustworthy, smart, and strong enough to face whatever considerable risks this task may entail.

i didn’t point this out in my other posts but see how he makes a hand sign in the last panel when she throws the cup at him? gojo is manually activating his infinity. why though? about a year after the whole star plasma vessel incident happened, gojo develops the ability to keep his infinity up at all times by using the reversed curse technique to consistently heal himself to prevent exhaustion. this means that it really makes no difference whether he leaves it on or off. there are a few times where we can witness someone actually touching gojo. for example, yuuji giving him a hug. did he turn his infinity off, or was it able to deduce that yuuji was not a threat? the erasers and pencils shoko and geto threw at him during his demonstration of his new ability aren’t dangerous normally, but is it the speed that makes them dangerous? even if it did hit him, it wouldn’t hurt. how does the infinity know when to allow an incoming object to touch gojo? i believe it is up to gojo himself to let things touch him; his infinity restricts anything and anyone. some people say it could just be the fact that water is not dangerous to him, so therefore, he has to manually put his infinity up. i thought this was a reasonable explanation as to why he put up the hand sign when the tea was thrown at him, but then i realized that it couldn’t be. remember the second opening? it’s raining and everyone is carrying an umbrella, then it pans to gojo with a bouquet in his hand and rain drops slipping off his infinity. if he DID manually put his infinity up to prevent getting soaked then that implies that he chose to turn his infinity off. you can argue and say that jujutsu high is a safe place with students so there’s no need to have his infinity there, but do you remember when he stepped on the ants in front of gakuganji and yaga? the ants were perfectly fine after which insinuates that his infinity prevented his shoes from crushing the ants. he most likely had his infinity on during the baseball game even though he was in a safe environment. how does this long tangent relate back to utahime? well, it simply indicates that gojo trusts utahime so much to the point where he can be vulnerable around her. turning off his infinity symbolizes completely letting down his guard in a way.

how about what happens next? utahime throws the tea at him, he turns on his infinity to deflect it, and he responds with, “scary! hysteric women aren’t popular, you know!” why would he even say that LMAO?? utahime doesn’t even try to deny what he said either. she just hits him with the good old, “i am your senpai!” could it be that he’s trying to poke fun of her relationship status? maybe, maybe not. doesn’t he like people a lil crazy? he did say that all jujutsu sorcerers have to be a little crazy because they’re willing to put themselves in danger constantly.

chapter 0 p.1

i wonder who he’s thinking of when he said that. could it be utahime? it seems like he’s reminiscing or thinking about someone. he wears an amused expression on his face as he laughs - almost like he’s seen his fair share of how scary women can get :>>

chapter 34

the pattern behind gojo and utahime is called yagasuri “fletching,” a traditional japanese design. this design is inspired by arrow fletching. it's a lucky charm for weddings and other celebrations since it's based on the Japanese belief that an arrow shot once never comes back. brides were given kimonos with this pattern for good luck during the edo era (1603–1868) to ensure they would not have to return to their original family home. this pattern can have numerous meanings such as steadfastness or determination to achieve a goal, or a wish for the happiness of the bride. there is a belief that a bow and arrow represent the fight against evil. honestly, this meaning fits the narrative of the story. utahime and gojo are unearthing the traitors that are feeding intel to the curse users and cursed spirits. they are in the middle while the kyoto students surround them, which could mean that it’s their job as adults to protect these children from the grasps of evil slowly making itself more prominent. do you also notice that the arrows are pointed toward utahime from gojo? from all the images i’ve seen, the arrows are usually pointed downward. what could this mean? is gojo trying to protect her (in the future (?)) or does he have a big fat crush smh...

i think it’s a good time to mention utahime’s clothing. she’s wearing miko attire. miko are shrine maidens who were once thought to be shamans (you connecting the dots?). in their service to shrines, miko used to perform spirit possession and takusen (in which the possessed person acts as a "medium" (yorimashi) to communicate the divine will or message of that kami (god) or spirit; also included in the category of takusen is "dream revelation" (mukoku), in which a kami appears in a dream to communicate its will). this was back in the old days, of course. to become a miko back then (shaman), one needed to have potential. neurosis, hallucinations, odd behavior, and hysteria (HYSTERIA HELLO???) are some of the signs that a person is being called to shamanism. when a miko is communicating with a kami (god) or spirit by acting as a medium, she is in a trance-like state, and so she must learn techniques to control herself when this happens. chanting and dancing were used to accomplish this, so the girl was taught melodies and intonations that were used in songs, prayers, and magical formulas. all of this could give us insight about utahime’s technique and explains why she’s good at singing :) maybe she can’t control herself when she uses her technique which is why she isn’t shown using it because it should be used for dire situations. i imagine being possessed by a spirit or god must consume a lot of cursed energy. it makes sense that utahime and gakuganji wear traditional clothing. they’re the staff of jujutsu high’s kyoto branch. in chapter 0, kyoto is known as the sacred land of jujutsu. it’s more traditional compared to tokyo. if you want to learn more about miko, you should check out the wikipedia page!

chapter 34

i swear he tries to annoy her every chance he gets. i bet he sets a goal for himself to see how many times utahime lectures him about respecting his seniors every time he’s within the same vicinity as her. at least he called her utahime-sensei!!!

chapter 40

this isn’t even a gojohime moment tbh...i just wanted to share a pic of them sitting next to each other HEHE. why are they sitting next to each other anyway? it’s not like they have assigned seating.

----

that was so long and i apologize for the gargantuan paragraphs you guys had to read through. i’m writing this at 4 in the morning and i’m feeling borderline delirious so i apologize if there are any errors. i’ll edit this when i have time <3

the next part should come shortly.

#gojohime #gouta #gojo x utahime

407 notes · View notes

literaila · 4 years

Text

this vast empty space

spencer reid x reader

request: I’ve had this idea floating in my head after watching some One Tree Hill and Criminal Minds one day👀 what if the reader and Spencer have a child together but things are getting a little rocky with reader and Spence and they’re arguing so Spencer spends a lot of time at JJ’s with his child and JJ’s kids and one day the reader doesn’t let her child do something so they get mad and say they wish JJ was their mom🥺 but somehow a fluffy ending? Idk🗿

warnings: angsty. panic attacks. me. its super duper long...um...depression symptoms...fighting....thats all.............enjoy!

“You’re taking her over to JJ’s?”

There was this distance.

There was an impenetrable wall. It was standing between the two of them, blocking their eyes, blocking their bodies from ever touching, from ever looking at one another.

There was this wall.

It was stuck between them, stuck standing there keeping them from each other, stuck living next to them, living with them, breathing in their space.

This distance, this wall, this irritable thing standing between the two of them forcing them apart, forcing an uncomfortable feeling over their house, over their relationship, over their family.

It was unavoidable.

It was impossible to remove.

“Yeah,” Spencer said, not making eye contact, not even saying the words in her direction, just tying their daughter's shoes, too focused on her to even spare a glance at Y/N. “I thought a playdate with Henry would be fun.”

She watched small hands wrap around his neck, watched him gently pick up their daughter, still avoiding looking at her. She watched her daughter whisper in his ear, watched him smile at her. She watched her daughter's eyes light up at him.

She watched and she felt like she was far far away from them.

“When will you guys be back?” Y/N asked quietly, standing, vulnerable, in their doorway, standing just watching the two people she loved the most get ready to leave, getting ready to leave without her.

Playing with her sweater, moving it over her hands as to hide herself, as to feel smaller, she stared at the floor waiting for them to walk out.

There was this feeling, a feeling that rested around her body like a blanket, a feeling that made her feel like she wasn't supposed to be there, made her feel like she was just a spare piece, that they didn't need her.

She didn't want them to walk out the door.

“We’ll probably stay the night,” Spencer said, still not looking at her, he hadn't been looking at her recently, his voice was a void of numbness, his tone nonchalant, never caring. “I don't want her to stay up too late.”

Y/N looked up and stared at his back, she stared at her daughter who was smiling at him, she felt a small grin on her face. She felt her mood lift just a little bit, felt the blanket fall just a couple of inches off her shoulder. She was lucky that her daughter couldn't feel the space between them, she was lucky her daughter hadn't caught on yet.

She was lucky she had a happy little girl.

Y/N made a small grunt of acknowledgement, made a quiet noise that she hoped wasn't showing her displeasure in the situation, she kept her mouth shut so they wouldn't yell at each other again. She sighed gently, already exhausted, and walked over to the pair. She walked over and got closer to Spencer than she had been in days, she could feel his body heat reflecting off of hers.

She felt so uncomfortable. She felt so out of place in her own home.

She smiled at her daughter, smiled at the crinkles around her eyes, and the dream-like gaze she had in her eyes, and ran a gentle hand over her face, moving the curly brown hair out of Fayre’s eyes. She poked her cheek, searching for the dimples she knew would show up.

“I’ll miss you, Fay. Be back tomorrow?” She asked, repeating the words her daughter had said to her multiple times, repeating the words that always seemed to comfort Fayre. Y/N hoped they would comfort her.

“Be back tomorrow, Momma.”

Y/n gave her another smile, hoping the sadness she felt wasn't showing in her eyes. She kissed Fayre’s head gently.

“Okay.” She said moving away from the two of them, trying to not let her chest fall at the thought of them leaving for the night. She looked over at Spencer, who was staring at the floor still avoiding her eyes, and she felt her smile fade from her face. “Bye Spence. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

Spencer nodded. He walked over to the door and grabbed his bag. With Fayre on his shoulder he opened the door, Y/N watched Fayre wave happily at her, calling “Bye Momma!” as Spencer walked away.

She watched Spencer not even glance back at her.

Y/N watched them leave.

***

Weeks was a brief way to put it.

The distance between Y/N and Spencer.

Y/N wasn't sure when she had decided to start picking fights, to start bickering with him every moment they were together, to bicker with him until they were openly fighting with each other.

She wasn't sure when that had started.

She can remember the fight that it had all begun with.

She can remember telling Spencer she was thinking about resigning from the BAU.

She can remember how surprised she was when he got mad.

She couldn't remember anything after that.

But there was a tension, a distinct tension between the two, that had put them both into defensive mode. The tension had made them disagree with anything the other said, and the few times they had been able to talk out their problems, those couple of times, the tension was always there the next day.

The tension eventually turned into distance.

And then Spencer was leaving the house for longer, he was spending more time in his office, he was sleeping at JJ’s.

He had started sleeping at JJ’s. He couldn't stand to stay with her, to sleep in the same room with her, so he went to his best friend. So he left.

Y/N usually stayed home with Fayre, usually spent their time off taking care of her daughter.

It seemed like they couldn't even be in the same room for ten minutes without fighting. They couldn't even have a conversation about the doctor's appointment Fayre had next week without arguing about something completely useless.

Y/N hated it.

She hated it so much. She hated that she never got the opportunity to talk to her husband. She hated that they hadn't spent time as a family, all together, in the past couple of months the fighting had been going on. She hated that when they were working when they were helping each other on a cause, she hated the distance that rested between them.

She hated not talking to him.

She hated not seeing him smile.

She missed cuddling with him.

She missed absolutely everything about him.

But she didn't know what to do.

Should she talk to him? Apologize? Explain to him how she felt? Would that do any good, or would it just cause another fight between the two of them, another layer in the wall they were constructing?

She didn't know what to do.

She wasn't sure if there was anything left for the two of them. Wasn't sure if there was anything she could say without it ending in a fight.

Spencer was sleeping at JJ’s.

So she spent time with her daughter. She basked in the love that her daughter offered her free of charge. She spent her days coloring with her, making cupcakes, and taking her to the park. She spent her days playing with old toys, watching Disney movies, and talking to Fayre about anything that was going on in her 3-year-old mind. She loved every second she got to spend happily with her little girl.

But when Spencer wanted to see her, when Spencer wanted to be the good Dad that he always had been, when Spencer wanted to spend him with their daughter and still had to actively avoid Y/N while doing it… Those days Y/N spent alone.

She spent those days alone cleaning their house, cleaning her daughter's room and Spencer’s office, doing laundry, and reorganizing anything she could, she spent those days going to buy more groceries and catching up on things that she had meant to do months ago. She spent those days in her house, surrounded by things that just reminded her of how much she loved her family, surrounded by things that just filled her with doubt and hopelessness.

She spent those days alone.

She pretended that everything was the same as it was months ago, that she and Spencer still felt desperately in love every waking moment, that their small family was as content as could be, she pretended that she didn't feel the numbness in her chest when she wasn't doing something, she pretended that it was all the same.

And she was happy.

She pretended for her daughter, she didn't want her daughter to grow up in a home where everyone was sad, she didn't want her daughter to learn that being happy isn't normal for most people. She pretended for Spencer too, because she knew, she had always known, that even when they were fighting, even with the distance between them keeping them so so far away, she knew that if she said a word, if she voiced her doubts, Spencer would be there in a flash.

He would hold her and reassure her that everything was okay, he would tell her that he loved her.

And she wasn't so sure that was true.

She wasn't sure if Spencer still felt tied to her. If he still felt his heartburn with the adoration he had for her. She wasn't even sure if Spencer still wanted to try and change.

But he was a good person, and he was an amazing husband, and there was nothing he wouldn't do for his family. Including lie.

So she didn't say a word.

She just pretended. Just pretended everything was fine.

Everything was just fine.

***

It had been days.

Days since she’d seen Spencer, days since they’d both been in the same room, days since she had yelled at him, had yelled harsher and angrier than she ever thought she could be. Days since she’d talked to him.

JJ was their saving grace.

JJ texted Y/N, and came to pick up Fayre so Spencer could see her, JJ spent time with her husband and her daughter, JJ spent every day with Spencer and didn't tell Y/N anything about him, only gave her a small pitiful smile every time she saw her, JJ who had Spencer sleeping over at her house.

Y/N didn't know how to feel.

Sometimes she worried she didn't feel anything.

She could only hear the yelling in her head, could only remember how sore her throat had been the next day, could only remember the fury in Spencer's eyes, could only remember the way he slammed the door, could only remember the words she’d said to him.

“She’s my daughter!”

Spencer sighed and moved past her to their dresser, he was packing more clothes, more clothes so he could leave again, so he could leave and go back to JJ’s. He still wouldn't look at her.

“Spencer. She's my daughter and I don't want her gone every other night!”

Y/N wasn't sure when she had started yelling, wasn't sure when she had gotten so angry. She only knew that there was a knife digging into her chest, a knife that was digging under her skin, a knife that was begging her to fight back, a knife that was fueling her rage, she was angry, she was so so angry.

And Spencer didn't seem to care. He didn't seem to say anything to her, he only let her yell at him while he walked around the room getting all the things he thought he would need. He wouldn't look at her, and he wouldn't pay her words any mind, and it was infuriating.

The knife only dug deeper with every ignored statement Y/N made.

“Spencer, are you even going to look at me? Do you even care?”

And with that Spencer turned around, he turned around quickly, his entire body tense and stiff.

Y/N felt her breath catch at the look on his face.

He was angry. She could see that clearly in his eyes, his face looked about to break, looked ready to throw everything he had at her, the anger that looked infused into his eyes scared her, the tension in his jaw made her back away from him.

She’d never seen him angry like that.

“Of course I care Y/N! I can't look at you because I can't bear to see the person that thought we weren't good enough- you thought I wasn't good enough! I don't want to look at you!”

The knife retracted at his words, pulled out of her, scared by the reaction, a reaction she had never expected. The knife- the anger -wasn't prepared for him to be mad at her, it wasn't prepared for him to get angry, to actually react to the words she’d been saying.

Y/N was counting on the fact that he had been ignoring her.

She took a minute to think, to take in his words, to think about everything he had said, everything that he hadn't said in the weeks they’d been distant, the knife retracted, and she thought.

She thought she thought

And then the knife plunged back into her.

Deeper.

“She's my fucking daughter Spencer! I’m sorry that I’m her mom and you don't want to deal with me but nothing can change that now! You should at least have the decency to talk to me about her!” She spat the words at him, flung them like weapons, like acid that was going to burn his skin, to burn him to nothing.

She didn't care, she didn't care about his reaction, she didn't care if he was mad at her, she didn't care what he thought, she didn't care that they were fighting, all she cared about was making him see, making him feel the way she’d felt for months.

Like everything was her fault.

“You can leave me all you want Spencer!” she screamed at him, her face red, her hands shaking, her entire body rocking with the force of her emotions, the knife digging, she screamed at him angrily, desperately “You can leave if you don't want to be here! But Fayre will not leave, this is her home. She wants to be here!”

And Spencer stared at her shocked, stared at her as he had never seen her before, had never ever met her, he just looked at her like she was someone he couldn't recognize.

Y/N didn't know what he was thinking, didn't know if his shocked face was because of her words, or because of the yelling she had always tried to keep in. She stared at him, she stared at him and suddenly felt like she was crazy like she shouldn't have even been there, she stared at him and she could feel herself shrink in size. She could feel the knife disappear, and be replaced with an empty hole that filled her.

Spencer suddenly walked out of the room.

Y/N took a moment, took a moment to process what had happened, took a moment to recognize the hole that was now in her body, she moved her hands to her chest as to feel for it, as to make sure it wasn't actually there.

She couldn't feel anything.

After that moment she stormed for the door, stormed to go find Spencer, stormed because she wasn't ready for him to give up, to just leave once again.

She stormed out of their room and she was met with a door about to close, a tiny hand she could see through the crack.

She stared as the door slammed, more harsh and more final than any words she had screamed.

She stared and watched her daughter leave with her husband.

She felt her heart rush, and her head filled with air and,

There was a hole in her chest and she was trying to grab it, trying to find it trying to trying to,

There was nothing there but the empty house she was stuck in.

JJ had brought her back the next day. Had given her that sad smile, and then left.

Y/N wondered why her husband wasn't back.

She wondered why he wasn't coming back.

She wondered if he would ever come back.

So did Fayre. Every day it was the same question “Where's Daddy?” which was answered with a blank “I don't know little love. I’m sure he’ll be home soon.” and then “Be back tomorrow Momma?” which was asked after a couple of days. And the same answer was always “I don't know Fayre.”

Because Y/N had no clue. She had no idea what her husband was doing, no idea when he was coming back, no idea when he wanted to see their daughter, no idea what to do.

She caught glances of him at work. The team had been under strict orders for only in state cases, enforced by Strauss, and so there was nowhere else she could see him. But there were moments. There were moments when he was there, but Hotch had told her he had requested to finish his work at him, had requested to stay out of the office for a while, and Hotch had agreed. He’d even looked shocked when Y/N asked if he knew where Spencer was.

Because she was supposed to know.

But she didn't.

There were moments where she saw him come into the office, small moments where she only got glimpses of his hair, of one of his vests. Little moments that reassured her that he was still there, that he hadn't left completely.

She prepared herself for the news that he had resigned, news that there was somewhere else Spencer was going, prepared herself so much. She had told him to go, told him to leave her, why wouldn't he?

She prepared herself for the inevitable news she had set herself up for.

But it hasn't come yet.

Instead, she had gotten news of a party, one that Rossi was throwing, a celebration for whatever reason he had proclaimed. She’d gotten the news, and she’d been told that she had to go, that there was no backing out.

And she’d agreed.

Besides, it would be good for her to get out of the house, to go somewhere with her friends where she wasn't constantly looking up from her desk for something.

She’d been told to take Fayre, told that Jack and Henry and Micheal would all be there, that her little girl should go have fun with them.

She’d agreed.

But she knew that taking Fayre would mean passing her off, would mean giving her to Spencer so that they could spend more time together.

She’d been in a mood all morning because of it.

It had started with breakfast, which she had burned while helping Fayre get dressed, and then it was the loud TV playing while she wasn't trying to finish up some paperwork, and then it was the headache that was burning her eyes, and then it was packing up Fayre’s things.

She felt so overwhelmed, felt so nervous to see Spencer for the first time, felt so sad that she was going to have to go home without her daughter.

She felt like she was doing everything wrong, felt like she couldn't even keep her family together, couldn't even keep her daughter happy for one day without Spencer.

She felt like she shouldn’t have to do any of it without Spencer, felt so angry that he was forcing her to pass their daughter off like she was a present.

She felt so so overwhelmed.

But she had to keep a smile on her face, she had to let her husband be a good Dad, she had to let her daughter spend time with her favorite person in the world, and she had to be happy while she did it. Her daughter deserved a happy Mother. She deserved everything.

She didn't deserve what was happening to her parents.

When it was finally time to leave Y/N could feel the nerves bunch up from her feet to the tip of her head, she felt them collect together like a bunch of bugs crawling up her skin, and she felt like she was going to puke.

She could see Spencer. She could. It was the first time in days, the first time she would ever have to directly talk to him. But she could do it. She could she could.

She wasn't sure.

She helped Fayre pack the last of her clothes, grabbed the couple of things she hadn't put in her bag earlier when she heard crying come from the other room.

Immediately she prepared herself for the worst, she felt desperate to get it to stop.

She walked into their living room and saw her daughter sitting on the floor trying to put her shoes on. Tears were running down Fayre’s face as she messed with the laces, as she tried to remember what her Dad had done for her so many times. She looked up at her Mom and whined.

Y/N went over to her, sad to see her crying on the floor, sad to see her crying over something that she could’ve just asked for help for.

“Daddy always do it. I don't how to.” Fayre said angry, her words coming out rushed, skipping over the words she had not yet learned how to say. She was pulling at the strings harder, and Y/N tried to move her hands away from the laces so she couldn't hurt herself.

That was when she started yelling.

“No! No!” she said as she hit Y/N’s hands away, as she pushed her away.

“Fayre. It's okay, just help me, help sweetheart.”

“No! Daddy always do it! Daddy do it! Not Momma!” she was opening yelling, the tears streaming down her red face as she threw her hands up, not sure how to express her emotions.

“Let Momma do it once, it's okay sweetie we can do it.”

Y/N could feel herself getting more frustrated, could feel the nerves still collecting in her body, she didn't know what to do, and she didn't feel like she could deal with a breakdown from her daughter right now.

Not when she was inches away from having one herself.

She tried to take a deep breath, tried to calm herself down, and remind herself that Fayre was only three, that she was confused, and she missed her dad, and that she needed to be calm with her.

“Fayre, I’m sorry sweetie, Daddy’s not here. Let me help and we can go see him.” Y/N said calmly, kneeling in front of her daughter who was looking at her angrily.

“No! Daddy! Not you! Don't want you!” Fayre said as she got up, her shoes still untied, as she tried to run for the door.

Y/N could feel her anger go up.

“Fayre Diana. Don't run away.” Y/N said sternly.

Her daughter was crying and screaming, and banging on the door desperately like she was trying to get out, she was yelling so loud, and Y/N’s head was pounding. And her daughter was upset, and she was upset and she didn't know what to do.

What should she do what should she do?

She felt the anger rush up into her head, flashing her eyes red, she felt herself hit her breaking point, felt everything coming to her at once, felt so done, so tired and she just wanted it to stop.

“Fayre! Daddy isn't here! I need you to listen to me!” she yelled, moving over to her daughter who was too small to resist Y/N picking her up. Fayre kicked and tried to push her away as Y/N walked over to their couch.

“We won't go if you don't let me help you.” She said, no longer yelling, but her voice with much more power.

And Fayre stared at her, her eyes wide and almost sad, she stared at her and she started to cry even more.

Y/N watched as her daughter's eyes welled up in tears, as her daughter was hyperventilating, so sad, and so little, she felt herself breaking at the sight.

And she tried to grab her arm, trying to do anything to calm her down.

“No! I don't want you!” Fayre screamed pushing Y/N away, pushing her away and looking at her angrily. “I want JJ! You not nice! JJ!”

And everything stopped.

Everything just stopped.

Y/N could feel everything drain from her body, all her emotions all her thought all her organs, she felt it all fall away from her, felt her heart crack into so many pieces it was practically dust because

She wasn't good enough

She wasn't enough

She wasn't

I want JJ!

I want

Her daughter didn't want her, and her husband didn't want her, and she didn't want her, and there was nothing there was nothing

There was so much

She felt everything collapse from within and she couldn't find the words, didn't know how to breathe, didn't know how to remove the air that was filling her body, didn't know how to breathe

How do you breathe how do you-

She wasn't good enough.

She wasn't good.

She wasn't.

She. she she.

There was nothing left of her.

Nothing but the ashes that were barely enough to fill her feet, let alone the hole that was left within her body, the hole that had been building up for weeks.

There was nothing.

Everything stopped.

Everything just stopped.

And she stared at her daughter, her daughter who wasn't saying anything, barely even looked like she was breathing, and she stared at her and.

Everything started again.

Fayre was looking at her, tears running down her cheeks, and Y/N watched as she came over and hugged her legs, she watched as Fayre listed out apologizes, watched as she looked up at her, sad by the tears running down her Moms cheeks.

She didn't know what to do.

She didn't she didn't.

She ignored it.

Nothing had happened nothing was happening, she was whole she was completely there, there was nothing wrong.

Nothing had happened.

They were going to be late.

***

She stood there numb.

Numb as she watched her daughter laugh with Spencer and JJ.

She stood there and she felt nothing at all.

She watched her friends dance and laugh and play games, she watched the kids run around Rossi’s yard, giggly and happy as could be.

She watched everyone else enjoy themselves, and she couldn't feel anything.

She didn't know what she was supposed to feel.

Was she supposed to be sad? Sad that her daughter considered JJ a better mom than she did Y/N?

Was she supposed to be angry? Angry that Fayre had adapted to JJ’s house so much that she thought she was better?

Was she supposed to be annoyed? Or heartbroken? Was she supposed to frustratingly yell at JJ, to yell at Spencer?

Was there something she was supposed to feel? Something she was supposed to do.

She didn't know.

All she knew was the numbness she’d been submerged in, the numbness that had taken over her body when it had fallen to pieces, fallen apart on her living room floor, the numbness that put clouds in her brain, clouds that forced her to think but not to feel.

Was there something she was supposed to be feeling?

She didn't feel anything.

She just watched, she watched Hotch laugh with the boys, and Derek talk with Emily and Penelope pull funny faces to make Fayre laugh. She watched as JJ stood with her arms wrapped around Will, watched as Rossi grilled something and yelled out things.

She watched all of them feel.

She didn't dare look at Spencer.

When she had arrived with Fayre, immediately she’d let her run to her Father, let her go hug him desperately, and had not let herself spare a glance at him. She didn't want to see him and she didn't want to think about how he had left, about how he had taken her advice, about how their daughter would be so much better off with a mom who knew what she was doing.

She didn't want to think about all the ways she had disappointed her family.

She didn't want to think at all.

So she didn't look at him, didn't watch him the way she always did, didn't say a single word to him. She wouldn't allow herself that.

She was looking down at the pavement when Derek came over to her.

“Hey Pretty Girl,” he said, as he stood next to her, holding out a drink for her, which she took nonchalant as she looked back at the ground.

“Hey,” she said quietly, her voice void of emotion, her body void of everything.

“Hey, what's wrong?” he asked, moving his head down so he could get a look at her face.

She looked up at his words, her neck snapping at the question.

“Nothing,” she said, looking in his eyes, which were glazed with concern.

“What's going on Pretty girl? You’ve been standing here alone all night?” Derek said, putting a reassuring arm on her shoulder.

She didn't feel a thing.

“Nothings going on. I’m just tired,” she said, again, looking back at the ground. She was tired of thinking.

‘Y/N.” Derek said, moving her chin so she was looking in his eyes again. “Seriously, what's wrong?”

Y/N stayed silent, willed her body to feel nothing, to think nothing, because there was nothing wrong, there was nothing wrong.

She looked back down.

“Alright.” Derek sighed, taking the drink he had given her from her hand and setting it down on a nearby table. He grabbed her hand and led her away from the party, away from everything else. She wondered where they were going.

When they finally stopped at a small garden farther into Rossi’s backyard Derek halted and turned to stare at her again.

“What's going on with you and Spencer?”

Y/N felt herself crack at that. Felt the numbness drain only a smidge, from her body, felt her staring at Derek urgently, felt her mind trying to run again.

“Nothing. There's nothing.” She said quickly, her words jumbled, her heart racing.

“You think I haven't noticed the way you two have been acting recently? He's been staring at you all night, and you haven't said a word to anyone. Something is going on. What is it?”

She looked down, surprised by his words, emotion was filling her body but she was begging herself to just keep it out, to just not feel anything.

She didn't want to feel anything.

“Derek I-” and she broke. Her body was flooded with memories and thoughts and emotions, and she could feel the dam breaking in her eyes and she felt everything all at once and she just wanted it to stop. She didn't want to feel any of it. Why wouldn't it just stop?

Derek pulled her into his chest. He pulled her in tight and rubbed her back and she tried to calm herself down, as she tried to keep in all the emotions her body was begging her to let out.

“Shh, Pretty Girl... It’ll be alright. Just breathe.” He said as she rested her cheek on her chest, as she felt her body start to panic, her mind started to buzz with the overwhelming feeling.

What would she do? Her daughter didn't want her. Her daughter didn't want her. Her daughter had said she didn't want her and she didn't know what to do what would she do her daughter didn't didn't want her-

“Fayre said she wanted JJ.” she cried out desperately, the words tumbling out of her like an avalanche, she could feel herself still panicking, she could feel the buzzing of her brain flow to the rest of her body. What would she do-

“What do you mean.”

“Fayre,” she breathed, “she said that I- I was mean.” she gasped and more tears rolled down her cheeks like rocks falling “and that- she wanted JJ- not-” her body was buzzing in the panic that had contained her “not me,” she said and she cried. She cried against her friend as her family was only a short distance away, as her family had no idea how worthless, how broken she was.

Derek just let her cry. He let her sob out different words, he looked down at her concerned, wondering when she had fallen apart. Wondered why he was the one comforting her instead of her husband, her husband who was only 100 feet away.

The panic was still there, still shaking her heart back and forth, still buzzing loud in her brain, but she was breathing, she had gotten the words out, the terrifying words that she so desperately wanted to pretend didn't exist.

She was starting to breathe.

Why did she have to feel anything?

Derek held her, held her close, held her because that was what she needed, she needed her husband but she needed something she needed someone.

He listened as she gasped out her last sob, as her crying started to slow down.

He moved back. He kept his hands on her shoulder as she looked up at him.

She looked so small, her eyes bloodshot, her face pale, she looked like a little kid who had no idea what to do, she looked so small standing there with him.

“Are you alright?” he asked as he searched her face.

She took a shaky breath as she said “Thank you. Better now.”

She didn't think she had the energy to say anything else.

***

It was time to go. It was time to go back to her house, her empty house, it was time to go back to her numbness, which was empty, just like her house.

They were quite the pair.

It was time to say goodbye to Fayre, time to send her off with her Dad, and with JJ who didn't disappoint the two of them.

In a way, Y/N was thankful to JJ, because she knew that JJ would take care of her family, she knew that JJ would be there for them if they needed anything. She knew that if she couldn't make them happy, at least JJ could.

She tried to ignore the envy she felt towards JJ. She tried to ignore the anger she wanted to feel. She knew it wasn't her fault. It wasn't her fault that she didn't disappoint.

It was Y/N’s.

At least she thought at least they have someone.

She just wanted them to be happy.

It was time to say goodbye, as everyone started heading towards their cars, tired and ready to go home, Fayre walked over to her mom, her smile shining bright as she led Spencer towards Y/N.

They were walking over to Y/N together, Fayre pulling her dad along, pulling him over to her. He was coming over, he was coming over. Y/N didn't let her heart feel anything, she didn't let her eyes drift toward him.

“Momma!” Fayre yelled excitedly, throwing herself into Y/N’s arms.

“Hi, baby.” Y/N said quietly, looking at her beautiful daughter, staring at the one relief she had from it all. “Did you have fun?” She said softly.

“Yeah, Momma! We did games, and Daddy did trick!” She was much too loud and excited for the late hour, but Y/N was happy to see her so full of energy, so alive.

“Did he?”

“Yeah! And he said do more!” she was smiling over at her dad, but Y/N didn't take her eyes off of Fayre.

“More later?” she said quietly, her mood only slightly deflated at the thought of them leaving.

“Yeah!” Y/N kept a smile on her face, kept her smile, but couldn't change the disappointment stuck in her eyes, she smiled at Fayre and kissed her on the cheek.

“You go with Daddy alright? Be back tomorrow?” Y/N said, laughing a little at the words. She had given up, given up on trying to stop the tears stinging at her eyes. She was smiling at her daughter, but she felt like sobbing against her.

Just another way to disappoint the two of them.

“Why sad Momma?” Fayre asked, her little hand rubbing Y/N’s cheek as she wiped away the one tear she had let go. Y/N wished she wasn't as smart as she was.

“I’m not sad little love,” She said, feeling her voice crack at the lie, at the words she’d been trying to believe were true. She sighed softly and smiled sadly at her daughter. “Just tired.”

Fayre was still looking at her with a furrow in her brows, still staring at her confused. “Don't sad Momma.”

Y/N laughed bitterly at the words, committing them to memory for later.

“Alright, Fay. I won't. Be back tomorrow?” she asked once again.

Fayre wrapped her little arms around Y/N’s neck, squeezing tight like she was trying to make everything better. “Be back tomorrow Momma.” She said as Y/N put her down and pushed her gently towards Spencer.

Spencer, who'd she’d almost forgotten, was there. She gave herself one opportunity, one look, one look to just see him. And she looked in his eyes, she looked at his face that looked so sad, his eyes that were staring right at hers concerned. She looked at his face that looked almost regretful.

She looked away.

She felt her heart beat faster, reminding her of the love she was trying to keep away from him.

She waved at Fayre one more time, blew her a kiss.

This time she walked away first.

She couldn't bear to see them leave again.

***

She was up late at night when there was a knock.

Quiet, quick, almost as if whoever was there knew she would still be up.

She hadn't been sleeping well. She felt words swirling around her head, memories of the things she didn't want to think about popping up at random points.

She couldn't stop her brain.

She couldn't get numb again.

But there was a knock.

She looked at the safe in her closet, wondering if she should grab her gun, just in case.

In the end, she’d decided against it. If it was someone bad would they have broken in?

She walked towards the door, turning on the lights, and unlocking it.

She hadn't expected to see her husband standing on the other side.

She hadn't expected to see Spencer looking at her.

She hadn't expected to see relief in his eyes.

She hadn't expected him to talk to her.

“You’re awake,” he said, almost in awe, almost like he wasn't sure, quiet.

Y/N just stared at him.

It was the first time she had looked him in the eyes without any hesitation for weeks. It was the first time she had looked into his eyes without nerves running up and down her spine, without feeling like she had to be ashamed for looking at him.

She felt her heart beat faster.

“Spence.” she breathed out.

He gently grabbed her hand, gently moved her out of the way so he could get through the door, he gently let her hand go and moved to take off his shoes.

He was taking off his shoes.

Y/N just watched him, wondering if she was dreaming, if she was dreaming about him coming back home, wondering if this was all fake.

She hoped she wouldn't wake up for a little bit longer.

“Y/N.” Spencer said, turning back to her, “Can we talk?”

It was the first time she had heard him speak to her in days, the first time she had heard her name slip from his lips.

She left like she was floating.

She wondered why she couldn't feel anything but bliss.

She wondered when the nerves would catch up.

She only nodded at him, only gestured to the couch. There was too much going on for her brain to comprehend, she was surviving on only coffee and a couple of caffeine pills, she was up far too late and she didn't know what was going on.

They both sat down on the couch, and Y/N’s heart got faster at the close proximity of the two. What was going on?

“We have to talk about everything.”

And then the nerves caught up.

And then the nerves invaded her body, filling her to the core with irrational thoughts, with messages from her brain that only made her heart beat faster.

Divorce.

Custody.

Leaving.

The nerves were too much too much, and her eyes were wide and all she could do was nod, just nod at him. Unconsciously she moved farther away from him, preparing herself for the distance he was going to ask for.

He was leaving he was leaving he was going to leave he was-

“I think that we should’ve talked a long time ago.” He said quietly looking down at the floor, staring intensely at something Y/N couldn't see.

“Yeah.” Y/N said, her voice breaking from the pressure, her body ready to collapse.

“I’m sorry I left,” Spencer said.

And it stopped.

Everything stopped.

He was sorry. He was sorry he left, he was sorry for doing the thing that Y/N had told him to do, doing the thing that she had asked of him, he was sorry he was sorry.

“Why,” she asked.

“Because I never should have left. And I never should have left for so long. It was childish and only 58% of long-distance relationships work, and I didn't even leave the city I was just gone and I- I’m not sure what I was thinking-”

“I told you to go.”

“What?” Y/N was staring at him, staring intently. She missed the sound of his voice but she hated the words coming out of his mouth. This was all of her fault, she had told him to leave, she hadn't done anything about it. This was her fault and he shouldn't have been saying any of this.

“I told you to leave. I said, “Go ahead and leave Spencer.” She paused and looked down at his feet. “You were only doing what I asked.”

Silence consumed the room. Y/N still didn't know what else Spencer wanted to talk about, she still didn't know if this meant he wanted to try if he wanted to try and be with her, she didn't know if this meant they were going to get better.

She couldn't help but think of the empty space that filled her body, she couldn't help but think about the hole in her body that was scarring, that was stuck there, almost numb, unbelievably painful. She couldn't help but think about the words she’d endured to get that hole.

“I shouldn't have listened to you. You were right.” Spencer said, pulling out of her thoughts, pulling her out of the pain that threatened to take over her body once again. “You didn't deserve me leaving, and neither did Fayre. I should’ve stayed.”

“Spencer you don't-”

“And then today. Today I was looking at you, I was watching you. And you just-” he paused and shook his hands in front of his face as if he was trying to reach for the words “you looked so empty. You just- you weren't looking at anything and you were just staring- and I don't think I’ve ever seen you look like that and I didn't know what to do, and I didn't know what was going on but you looked so empty-”

Y/N paused. Derek had said Spencer was looking at her, he had told her that right to her face, but there was a block keeping her from thinking about it. She was trying not to think about it. But Derek had been right, and Spencer had noticed he had noticed.

He’d noticed her.

“Y/N.,” he said, grabbing her face as he pulled her closer to him. “I’ve never seen you look so emotionless. You looked at me after Fayre said goodbye, and it was like there was nothing. There was nothing- and- It scared me. I had no idea what to do, but I could feel that I started it, I could tell it had something to do with us and-”

“Fayre caused it.” Y/N blurted out.

“What?” Spencer looked at her shocked, his face unmoving.

“She,” Y/N took a deep breath, not wanting to relive the memory, but wanting to keep the closeness of Spencer so bad she wouldn't stop. “She was having trouble with her shoes, and she was asking for you, and I got mad- god.” Y/N shook her head angrily, mad at her past self for getting mad at Fayre. “I never should’ve gotten mad. I was mad and she was upset and she said-”

Something was choking her from the inside. Maybe it was the anxiety holding her throat down, maybe it was the nerves that seemed to be everywhere, maybe it was the desperation to forget everything, to pretend to be okay, maybe it was the exhaustion that rested on her eyes weighing them down, maybe it was the buzzing in her heart.

It didn't matter what it was, it was choking her, stopping the words from escaping her mouth, stopping the words from reaching the air, stopping her from telling Spencer.

But she fought, she fought against her instinct, fought against all her self defense mechanisms, and something finally let go.

“She said, I was mean, and that she wanted JJ.” and she gasped.

The words were out, out into the world, out where her husband- who she hadn't been speaking to, who she hadn't gotten any affection from in months -could finally hear them.

It felt like a shock to say them.

It felt like a shock to have to say them again, this time to the man she loved most.

She felt ashamed in herself, for the decisions she had made earlier, for the disappointment she was to her family, for the void that lived in her body.

“Y/N,” Spencer said, wiping away tears she hadn't noticed escaped her eyes. “She didn't mean that.”

And the words might have been reassuring, they might have been helpful, might have rested her self hatred, if she wasn't familiar with the person Spencer was.

He would like just to make her happy.

‘I think she did,” she said more tears crawling up her throat. “I think she did. Because I understand, because I’m not an amazing mother, and I’m definitely not an amazing wife, and I’ve been unfair to her, and I wish she didn't have to deal with me all the time, I think she meant it-”

Spencer put a hand over her mouth stopping her words. He was looking at her angry, his brows furrowed in something that looked like disgust, his mouth turned down.

“Don't ever say that.” He said harshly.

“What?” Y/N said as she moved back, her words muffled by his hand, surprised at his sudden change in mood.

“I don't want to ever hear, I don't want you to ever think that you aren't a perfect Mother.” He said, looking her directly in her eyes, his voice wasn't wavering and neither was his mind. “You are an amazing Mother to Fayre. She loves you.”

When Y/N tried to interrupt Spencer just spoke over her.

“And you are an amazing wife. You are more than I could’ve ever asked for. So, I do not want to hear another word about you not being enough. It's a lie, and I hate it.”

He stopped and Y/N was still looking at him shocked at the sudden outburst. She had thought that was why she left. She wasn't enough, because Spencer was disappointed in her. After all, she just wasn't good enough. She thought that's why he left.

That was why he left.

Wasn't it?

Tears ran down her face as she stared at him frustrated.

“Oh, Y/N.,” he said, moving his hand from her mouth and gently wiping another tear away. “I didn't mean to scare you. I just want you to believe me, baby.”

He was so gentle, so caring, so everything she had been missing for the months they had been constantly fighting with each other.

She sobbed against his hand.

“Baby,” he said desperately, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her closer to him. She breathed him in, shocked by the smell she loved so much, shocked that he was so close to her, shocked at how cold she had been without him.

She had been so cold for so long.

She sobbed even more, shaking against his chest, gasping for breath.

She had no idea she could miss a person that was so close to her.

“I’m so sorry baby. I’m so sorry any of this happened,” he said, rubbing her hair and pulling her close to him. Spencer felt close to tears himself, watching his wife shake in his arms, he knew that she had been deteriorating for months, for months he knew and he hadn't done a thing. He knew that she was barely there, that another week would have burned her away, he felt ashamed that he hadn't been there sooner.

“Spence.” she cried, tugging on his shirt and nudging her head into his chest.

He just sat there, helping her get him closer, helping her remove the last couple of centimeters between them.

She sobbed and she sobbed into his chest, relieved that he was here, still hoping that this wasn't a dream, that this wasn't some cruel joke the world was playing on her.

She couldn't just let this go again.

“Y/N,” Spencer said when she had finally caught her breath when she had stopped shaking.

She looked up at him, her eyes puffy, and pleading, at that moment she looked so vulnerable it made Spencer want to protect her from everything. He didn't want to lose the only thing holding him together. “I love you. I’m so sorry that we’ve been so far apart.”

She moved her hands from his chest, moving them to his neck and jumping into his lap, straddling him on the couch as he hugged her back just as tight. It was a breath of fresh air to be so close together, they were each other's light in a dark room.

They had been so far apart.

“I’m sorry too Spencer. I’m sorry.”

Spencer just ‘shh’’d her, just held her close to him. They were both exhausted, and it was so late, it was too late.

It was almost too much to be close to him again.

They stayed like that, silent and together, silent and right next to each other for a while. They let each other's body heat warm them up, let their hearts get used to the close proximity again, let everything that had happened fade between them.

It was a while later, a while later when Y/N had felt almost repaired when she could no longer feel the burning of the hole in her body, the hole that had so desperately needed to be filled, the hole that was now barely there. It was then that she finally spoke.

“Where's Fayre?” she asked quietly against his ear, running her hands through the hair on his neck, enjoying the grip he had on her waist, and the kisses he was leaving on her neck.

“She’s still at JJ’s. I didn't want to wake her up, but I had to see you.”

There was a pause and then,

“Spencer,” she whispered softly, in awe that he was there, that they were together again.

He just kissed her some more.

They stayed like that, connected, for just a moment longer, just another moment together, before Spencer spoke up again.

“Y/N?” he asked, moving back only a little bit so he could look into her eyes.

“Yes?” she asked, staring at the brown eyes she had fallen in love with, the brown eyes that always seemed to fill her with a feeling she would never know how to describe.

“I love you,” he said softly, pecking her lips.

When he pulled back she smiled with her eyes closed, smiled at him, smiled at the feeling in her chest, smiled at the happiness she hadn't felt in so long, she smiled and she opened her eyes just so she could look at him because he was right there, he was right in front of her.

“I haven't seen you smile in so long,” Spencer whispered in awe, running his hand over her cheek as he stared at her.

She only smiled wider.

“Spencer?” she said softly, the smile stuck to her face.

“Yes?” he asked, moving to look back up to her eyes instead of her mouth, her eyes which were shining just for him.

“I love you,” she said. Quietly. Gently. For what felt like another first time.

He kissed her. Harder this time.

my masterlist here

#spencer reid smut #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds rp #criminal minds headcanons #emily prentiss x reader #derek morgan #mgg #mgg x reader #mgg blurb

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atlabeth · 3 years

Text

everything happens for a reason part 11 - zuko x fem!reader

Memories, where'd you go?

part 10 | masterlist | part 12

a/n: alternative name for this fic: y/n gets a crush on every pretty girl she meets. yue, katara, and now suki. she can't help it (and she questions why they're all connected to sokka in some way lmaoo)

anyways, this is kind of filler but it establishes some more with relationships and finallyyy gets us into ba sing se at the end. i know it's a lil annoying because there's a lot of episode-to-text writing, but i promise it'll get more freeform as it goes on

also i know that i just posted something yesterday but i have literally zero patience. like i cant hold chapters i have to post them as soon as i write them loll

wc: 5.3k

warning(s): some feels over zuko as per usual, but overall a pretty tame chapter

chapter title comes from memories by panic! at the disco!

Zuko could barely sleep anymore.

He didn’t know when his life became so complicated, but he wasn’t a fan of it.

Back when it was just him, his crew, and the open sea — it was simple. He had a job, a straightforward mission. Find the Avatar, capture him, return home to the Fire Nation and regain his honor.

Now, the waters were more muddied than ever. Now on the run from the Fire Nation just like the boy he was chasing, all he really felt nowadays was anger.

Angry at the world for setting him on this path, angry at the Avatar for refusing to see what was necessary, his sister and her friends for turning against him, angry at the waterbender for making things so damn hard.

He didn’t want to hurt her. A part of him wished that she had never come back into his life, if it meant he wouldn’t have to constantly be fighting against her. He hated himself for the thought, but maybe it would have been easier for her to remain a memory of a lover than his active enemy.

Late at night, when he was reaching fruitlessly for sleep that would never come, he saw her face. The carefree energy from their childhood morphed into the shock and disappointment from both the North and their fight with Azula, and…

It made him wonder what in Agni had happened to them.

He—

He didn’t know. The way he felt about her, it was different than anything he had experienced before. Zuko didn’t know what it was, but he understood that it was special. And now… it felt like he had just thrown it all away.

Zuko couldn’t stop thinking about what had happened with her in that town — what he had done to her.

He had burned her to try and get to the Avatar, and he hadn’t even allowed a glance back at the damage he had done. He had heard her cry out in pain, pain he had caused, and he didn’t even look back.

What had happened to them? What had happened to him?

He kept telling himself that the mission was the only thing that mattered. And it was, wasn’t it? Capture the Avatar, regain his honor, get his old life back and finally be enough for his father. He didn’t have time for friends, or for these feelings he had, or— or for anything but capturing the Avatar. Because the Avatar was the key to everything, to his honor, and that was all that mattered.

But now…

Now, he didn’t know what he was supposed to do. He didn’t know what was right, or what was wrong, or what path was the one he had to take.

Zuko just wished things could be like they used to be.

~~~~~~~~~~

She didn’t really know when everything had become a mess again.

It all started out fine, like it usually did. Toph had become fully integrated into the group, any past squabbles put to rest in the name of a stronger friendship emerging between all five of them. Katara continued to work on Aang’s waterbending (oftentimes Y/N joining them in their sessions) while Toph slowly but steadily beat earthbending into him — literally.

They had all been working hard for so long that, by decree of Aang, it was ‘vacation time’. They would all get to pick out places they wanted to spend as a break, and after it was over they would get back to work.

Aang had chosen some sort of field with musical groundhogs, and Y/N had opted to revisit an Earth Kingdom village that she had passed through on her journey to the North. Sokka had complained the whole time about how they were ‘wasting valuable planning time’, but had finally conceded after the promise of ‘all the planning his heart could desire’ from Katara after their mini-vacations were over.

Y/N was actually feeling somewhat relaxed for once, but she had forgotten the golden rule — never let your guard down. Everytime she let her guard down, something bad happened without fail. So it shouldn’t have been any surprise with what happened in the desert.

Because after one trip to the Misty Palms Oasis and a journey into the desert with a professor to a long lost library, Appa had been taken by desert raiders.

It was… less than favourable. During their escape from the library, Professor Zei had insisted on staying behind, and now the five of them were stuck in the middle of the desert with no way out and zero guidance. Add some brewing tensions between Aang and Toph because of her being there when Appa was taken, and they had a recipe for a huge disaster.

And a disaster they had. Multiple disasters, actually.

There was only so much she and Katara could do to hold the group together, but by some miracle, they made it out of the desert with only one Avatar State mishap.

(And an incident with cactus juice, but… she didn’t really want to talk about that.)

....at least they had the information about the Eclipse. That was about the only thing keeping her together at the moment.

They had to get the information to the Earth King so they could formulate an attack with his warriors, but without Appa, they had to resort to more traditional methods of travel. Add in one passport problem, and that was how Y/N found herself braving the Serpent’s Pass alongside a refugee family with a baby on the way.

It was… intimidating, to say the least. Despite being surrounded by her element, Y/N didn’t feel any safer from the challenge that faced them. She took a deep breath, trying to tamp down on her fear the way her mother had taught her, as she followed the group, but her thoughts were soon interrupted.

“Hey.” She turned to see who the voice belonged to and was greeted by the girl that had teased Sokka early — Suki, if she remembered correctly. “I haven’t seen you around; are you with the Avatar or that family?”

“I’m with Aang,” Y/N explained. “I’m from the North, and they offered me a spot with them after they helped us defend our tribe against the Fire Nation. I’ve been with them ever since.” Suki nodded as they settled into a comfortable stride.

“That’s cool. Are you a waterbender?”

She gestured to her waterskin and smiled. “Yeah. I’ve been training with Aang and Katara ever since I left.” Y/N then turned her gaze back to Suki, raising an inquisitive brow. “Your makeup — what’s it for? I heard you talking about the Kyoshi Warriors back there; is that some kind of thing with Avatar Kyoshi?”

Suki grinned, her every expression heightened by the sharp reds and blacks above her eyes. “We’re a group of all-female warriors that use the teachings of Avatar Kyoshi and her partner Rangi to defend our home and the place she founded, Kyoshi Island. I’m the leader of our village section.”

“Wow,” she murmured, her eyes falling to the ground for a moment before finding their way back up to the warrior. “That’s really cool. You’re really cool.”

She laughed and shrugged. “Thanks. I’ve been training as a warrior for almost my whole life, so it just comes naturally. I like being able to protect people, and there’s no better way to pay back my home for all it’s done for me like protecting the whole village.”

“Wow,” she repeated with a small laugh of her own. “That’s really brave. I gotta say, I’m kinda jealous — I would love to see what would happen if Master Pakku met you all. Katara literally had to beat the sexism out of him in order to train to be a master.”

Suki chuckled. “Sounds like what I had to do with Sokka. Guess it’s a thing with Water Tribe guys, huh?”

At the mention of Sokka, she internally laughed. There had to be some kind of connection between the two of them, the way their interests kept aligning. “Sokka… he’s had it hard. I can’t blame him that much for any kind of attitude he had before he met you. Pakku, on the other hand? He had to have had something better to do than fight teenage girls.”

“You would think so, right?” Suki agreed. “And Sokka… I know. He’s got a heart of gold underneath all that, he just needed a little push to get it out.” As Y/N glanced over at the girl, noticing a slight pink tint under the white makeup, she gasped.

“La’s fins, are you two a thing?” she exclaimed with a grin.

Suki flushed even harder as she suddenly became very interested in the ocean around her, but she couldn’t help the smile on her lips. “No! I mean— yes— but… but—” she stopped to gather her thoughts before making eye contact again with a sheepish smile. “We’re not… really a thing, but… I do like him a lot. I didn’t really think I was going to see him again after they left the island, so this is really nice.”

“Then what are you waiting for?” Y/N asked. “I can already tell that he cares about you — have you seen how careful he’s being with you?”

“Well—” Whatever kind of excuse Suki would’ve made up was interrupted by a rock falling out just under Than, one of the refugees they were with, saved in the nick of time with Toph’s earthbending.

“I’m okay!” he reassured, but no sooner had the words left his mouth before the Fire Nation ship in the distance started firing.

“They’ve spotted us!” Sokka yelled. “Let’s go, let’s go!”

Aang flicked his glider open and deflected the blast, and Katara grabbed Y/N’s hand as they all began to run. Another blast rocked the mountain, causing several boulders to fall just above Suki. Y/N didn’t even have time to shout out a warning before Sokka tackled her out of the way, but it was ultimately more of Toph’s quick earthbending that saved him.

“Suki, are you okay?” Sokka brushed dust and pebbles off of her uniform as he examined her, and once he was satisfied he grabbed her hand and helped her up. “You have to be more careful! Come on!”

As the two of them caught up to Y/N and Katara, she gave Suki a knowing look. The warrior only blushed once again and glanced away.

After hours of navigating the pass, they were only about halfway through. Sokka made the executive decision to set up camp for the night to give everyone time to rest, and then they would get up at the crack of dawn to finish their trip. It only took a few minutes for Y/N to get a fire going, and soon everyone had settled in with their sleeping bags. Sokka got up from his spot as Suki wandered closer to the edge, and Katara nudged Y/N with her shoulder.

“Hey. How are your hands doing?”

“They’re fine,” she answered with a small smile, flipping her hands over as proof. Where there were once red burn scars on her palms only tiny white marks remained — one benefit to healing via waterbending was that most injuries were able to fade away completely after enough sessions. Her burns weren’t very serious and she was able to heal them almost immediately, so both her and Katara were sure that the marks would be completely gone soon.

The mental scars wouldn’t fade as easily.

“That’s good. And you’re taking care of them, right? Like, you’re not beating up people while we’re not looking?”

Y/N grinned. “No. I think I’ll leave that to Toph.”

Katara chuckled and nodded, turning her hands over in a final examination before nodding. “Good,” she repeated. The silence between them, although comfortable, stretched out for a little too long before she spoke again, this time much quieter. “He did this to you.”

“Katara…”

“I know,” she said. “I know you probably don’t want to hear this from me, or really at all, but… I’m worried about you. Zuko isn’t good for you. Every time we’ve run into him, he’s hurt you. And you deserve so much more than that.”

“You don’t understand,” she countered. “You don’t know Zuko like I do. You weren’t there when I was. I know you think I’m insane for still believing in him, but I— I can’t let go of him, Katara. I know the Zuko I love is still in there somewhere, and I have to try and find it. For me and for him.”

Katara’s eyes were full of nothing but sympathy as she sighed — it was obvious she didn’t believe her words, but in true fashion she was still trying her best to be supportive.

“Okay. I don’t understand it, but… I don’t think I can change your mind.” Y/N chuckled sadly and nodded, Katara’s piercing gaze meeting her own once more. “It’s just… Why are you playing with fire when you know you’re going to get burned?”

And for once, Y/N didn’t have an answer for her friend.

~~~~~~~~~

The night went by quickly, which Y/N was thankful for. It meant that the nightmares didn’t last as long.

After a quick headcount to make sure no one had fallen off the pass overnight and an even quicker gathering of their things, they set off to finish their journey.

It went just as well as she had expected — a giant serpent, the namesake of the pass, had attacked them while crossing through an underwater section. Thankfully, she was able to aid Katara and Aang in defeating it with waterbending with no casualties

But in the wake of one disaster there was always another, and before Y/N knew it a baby had been born. She was mostly there for moral support — Katara had it all handled, and Y/N didn’t expect anything less.

But finally, they had made it across the pass, and they were so close to Ba Sing Se that she could almost smell the city air. Sadly, though, that meant it was time for them to part ways — Aang to find Appa, and Suki back to her warriors. After some sad but hopeful goodbyes with Aang, it was time to bid farewell to Suki.

“Are you sure you can’t travel a little longer with us?” Y/N questioned, apparently not above pleading to try and get the girl to stay. “You’re— you’re amazing, and we’d really love to have you with us.”

“I can’t even imagine what travelling with the Avatar would be like,” she smiled, causing Y/N to get her hopes up for just a moment before they fell back down. “But I can’t stay. I have to get back to the Kyoshi Warriors.”

Y/N sighed, her gaze falling slightly downcast. “I get that. I just really wish you could stay. Or that I could meet your warriors. You seriously don’t know how cool you are, Suki.”

“Well, if you’re ever in town on Kyoshi Island, find us. I’m sure we’ll be able to work something out and do you one better than just meeting them all,” she said with a grin. “I think it’d be pretty cool to have the first waterbending Kyoshi Warrior.”

Y/N was unable to prevent the heat rushing to her cheeks as she smiled shyly, once again averting eye contact. “That would be amazing. I’ll have to find my way back there after the war.”

Suki bumped shoulders with her, causing a startled laugh to spill from her lips. “We’d love to have you.”

“Wait, why does it sound like you’re saying goodbye to her?” Sokka questioned as he walked up to the two of them. Y/N winked at Suki and gestured at him with her head, walking off before Suki could protest to find Katara.

The conversation the two girls were sharing was an extremely thinly veiled excuse to eavesdrop on the lovebirds, and when they kissed Y/N actually had to hold back a scream.

Sokka deserved this. She knew how much he beat himself up over every little thing that went wrong, and it was about time he got to relax even for a moment. She only hoped that Suki would be in their corner of the world sooner rather than later.

What could she say? She was already fantasizing about life as a Kyoshi Warrior.

~~~~~~~~~

Although they had parted ways, they soon found themselves reunited with Aang to stop yet another Fire Nation threat.

“For the love of Kuruk,” Y/N murmured as she stared into the distance, her eyes wide at the sight of a large mechanical drill. “That was Ty Lee who just took down all those soldiers. And if she’s here, Mai and Azula are with her too. Guys, It’s one thing to stop this drill, it’s another thing to take those three down with it.”

“The question is, how do we do it?” Aang questioned.

“Why can nothing ever be easy?” Sokka lamented. His gaze remained trained on the drill for a moment before he realized theirs were on him. “Why are you all looking at me?”

“You’re the idea guy,” Aang said.

“Wait, so I’m the only one who can ever come up with a plan?” he protested. “That’s a lot of pressure!”

“And also the complaining guy,” Katara muttered, drawing a chuckle out from Y/N.

“Now that part I don’t mind,” Sokka admitted.

“Well, Sokka— you were a huge help in the North, and you figured out a way to defeat the Fire Nation during that eclipse at the library! Plus, there’s all that stuff that Katara told me you did before I joined.” She patted him on the back. “If anyone can figure out how to take that thing down, it’s you.”

He shrugged nonchalantly, his ego only slightly bolstered. “...okay. I think I can do it.”

“That’s the spirit!” she said with a smile.

Unfortunately, that smile faded as a young guard came running up to the wall. “Excuse me, Avatar and friends — I’ve heard that you’ve dealt with that… that pink girl down there before.” They nodded and he continued. “It would do us a great deal of help if you could come down and look at our injured soldiers, then.”

Y/N and Katara nodded in unison and started to follow the guard, the remaining three trailing after them. They ended up inside the wall, in what looked like an infirmary of sorts with all the cots and soldiers lying around, and the two waterbenders exchanged looks.

“You know what to do?” Katara asked.

Y/N hummed in acknowledgment, and they both knelt down next to separate cots. “This definitely looks like Ty Lee’s work,” she murmured as she bent water up from the pot and molded it over the man’s arm.

“What’s wrong with him?” the general questioned. “He doesn’t look injured.”

“His chi is blocked,” Katara explained. “Who did this to you?”

“Two girls ambushed us,” the soldier said, moving his arm as he regained feeling. “One of them hit me with a bunch of quick jabs and suddenly I couldn't earthbend anymore and I could barely move. Then she cartwheeled away.”

Katara sighed as she bent the water back into the pot. “You were right, Y/N. That was Ty Lee — she doesn’t look dangerous, but she knows the human body and its weak point. It’s like she takes you down from the inside.”

As if struck by lightning, Sokka lit up. “Oh, oh, oh! What you just said — that’s how we’re going to take down the drill; the same way Ty Lee took down all those earthbenders!”

“By hitting its pressure points!” Toph exclaimed with a grin.

The breakthrough brought a steely determination to Aang’s features as he looked out into the distance. “We’ll take it down from the inside.”

~~~~~~~~~

Like everything they did, it seemed so simple on paper. But now that she was actually inside the drill, it felt a lot more nerve wracking. Toph opted to stay outside where she could see and try to slow down the drill with the earth at her disposal, which left the four of them to somehow take it down from the inside.

Sokka led them through a hallway with a myriad of valves and pipes as he thought out loud. “I need a plan of this machine — some schematics that show what the inside looks like. Then we can find its weak points.”

“Where are we gonna get something like that?” Aang asked.

Sokka thought for a moment before he took his machete out and hacked a valve off a pipe. Y/N instinctively took a step back and shielded her face from the hot steam. “What are you doing?” she cried. “Someone’s gonna hear us!”

“That’s the point!” he exclaimed. “A machine this big needs engineers to run it, and when something breaks—”

“Someone will come down to fix it!” Katara finished with a smile at Aang, a sentiment the boy returned happily.

It was surprisingly easy to take down the engineer once he arrived — with a little bit of frozen mist on Katara’s end, they had the plans they needed. Sokka’s expertise combined with the blueprints got them to the beginning of the outer shell.

“Wow,” Sokka muttered. “It looks a lot thicker than it does in the plans. We’re gonna have to work pretty hard to cut through that.”

Katara crossed her arms. “What’s this ‘we’ stuff? The three of us are gonna have to do all the work.”

“Look, I’m the plan guy!” Sokka explained with a gesture to himself. “You three are the ‘cut up stuff with waterbending’ guys. Together, we’re Team Avatar!”

Katara and Aang looked wholly unamused while Y/N chuckled. “Team Avatar. I like it.”

“Thank you,” he smiled. “At least someone appreciates my genius.”

“Tui’s gills, why do you have to keep boosting his ego?” Katara complained. “Let’s just get this done before it gets worse.”

The three of them got in position — Katara and Aang on opposite sides so they could pass the stream of water between them, and Y/N making the point of the triangle to work on the other side on her own. They were hoping it would be more efficient being able to cut through both sides at the same time, but it was proving to be much more difficult than they had imagined — halfway through the three of them were already exhausted.

By some feat of strength they were able to completely cut through the brace, but their hard work didn’t pay off in quite the way they had imagined — when the beam only shifted a few inches she groaned.

“Oh, you have got to be kidding me,” she breathed as she wiped sweat off of her forehead.

“At this rate,” Katara paused to inhale deeply, “we won’t do enough damage before the drill reaches the wall.”

“I don’t know how many more of those I have in me,” Aang said sadly.

A large creak suddenly rang throughout the large chamber, and they all looked up for the source.

“Did you hear that?” Sokka asked, already backing up to make an exit. “We took it down! We gotta get out of here, fast!”

Just as they reached the door on the other side, a crackle followed by the sound of a man’s voice dashed their hopes. “Congratulations, crew. The drill has made contact with the wall of Ba Sing Se. Start the countdown to victory!”

A collective silence hung in the air between them, the threat now even more imminent as their situation sunk in. Mai and Ty Lee had proven effective in taking down any Earth Kingdom threat posed at them, and despite Toph’s skill they knew she couldn’t take down something like this on their own.

They either had to figure out a way to destroy this drill, or the Fire Nation was going to make it into the city.

Sokka ran back over to the brace and pushed against it, putting all his strength into the feat but to no avail. “Come…. on! Move!”

Katara started pacing around in a small circle, crossing her arms again as she tried to think of something. “This is bad. This is really bad.”

“Sokka, that’s not going to work!” Y/N didn’t mean to snap, but the grinding of metal on metal combined with her nervousness got to her. She sighed and ran her hand over her face. “I— I’m sorry. But it’s still not going to work.”

He groaned as he leaned against the brace. “We’re putting everything we have into busting these things, but it’s taking too long!”

Suddenly, Aang jumped up from the ground with stars in his eyes. “Maybe we don’t need to cut all the way through! Toph — she’s been teaching me that you shouldn’t put a hundred percent of your energy in any one strike. Sokka, get in a fighting stance.”

Sokka complied and as Aang talked through his points, he demonstrated it on Sokka. “You've got to be quick and accurate. Hit a series of points and break your opponent's stance. And when he's reeling back, you deliver the final blow. His own weight becomes his downfall, literally.”

As Sokka fell over from the attack, Katara lit up. “So we just need to weaken the braces instead of cutting all the way through—”

“—then I can go to the top of this thing and deliver the final blow!” Aang finished.

Y/N helped Sokka up from the ground, his spirits not dampened at all. “Then boom! This whole thing goes down!”

“Then what are we waiting for?” Y/N asked, flexing her fingers to refresh them for all the bending she was going to have to do. “Aang, Katara and I can handle the braces. Focus on getting up to the top before anyone sees you.”

He nodded and they all met each other with determined eyes. “Everyone inside that wall, the whole world — they’re all counting on us.”

“Here, take this. You need this more than I do. ” Katara took her waterskin off and handed it to Aang. “Good luck. And be careful.”

Y/N noticed a slight blush on her cheeks and she had to hold back her smile. That was definitely something she was going to tease her friend about later — when they weren’t trying to stop the Fire Nation from breaking into Ba Sing Se.

“I will,” he assured. Aang slung the strap of the waterskin around his shoulder and took off, and Y/N and Katara got to work breaking through the rest of the braces.

With the knowledge that they only had to cut through half of each column and the revitalization that came from having a plan, their work went by much quicker. Just when they finished the final brace, it all went wrong.

“Good work, Team Avatar!” Sokka cheered. “Now we— Y/N, duck!”

She didn’t question Sokka as she immediately dropped to the ground, something she was immensely thankful for as a blast of blue fire seared past her. Her eyes snapped up to the source of the attack and narrowed in recognition.

“Of course they’re here,” she growled as she pulled herself back up. “We gotta go, now!”

Katara and Sokka nodded and they all started running. Bringing up the rear, Y/N was able to hear Azula’s words right before they split off into an intersection:

“Follow them! I’m going to find the Avatar.”

Sure enough, when she allowed a glance back, Mai and Ty Lee were closing in on them. She flicked open the cap of her waterskin and bent some out, managing to freeze it at just the right moment to block the incoming daggers from Mai. Still running, she melted it quickly and let it fall to the ground before freezing it again, creating some ice on the ground that would hopefully give them a few more seconds of leeway.

“That should give us some time!” she yelled as they turned a corner, finally turning her attention back to the path in front of them. “Any idea how we’re gonna get out of this thing?”

“Maybe!” Sokka yelled back, slowing to a stop as they came to a dead end, a large hatch the only thing at their disposal. He started tugging on the wheel in an attempt to open it, and when Y/N joined in they were able to wrench it open.

“Slurry pipeline?” Katara frowned as she read the sign on the wall and looked at Sokka. “What does that mean?”

“It’s rock and water mixed together,” he explained as they looked into the rushing liquid underneath the hatch. “It means it’s our way out!”

Katara nodded and climbed in, Sokka following close after. The sound of metal footsteps got closer and closer, and Y/N ducked inside just as Mai’s knives clanked against the hatch. Never before had she been so happy to be floating in a stream of slurry.

The rest of their mission went by surprisingly easy — at least, on their end. All it took was some waterbending — earthbending, when Toph joined them — and encouragement from Sokka (though unappreciated by Katara). Whatever magic Aang was working at the top of the drill had done its job, because soon enough the drill had collapsed in on itself.

And now, they had reunited on the top of the wall overlooking the sunset. After the chaos that had been their day, it was nice to just relax for even a moment. And there was no better way to do so than with her friends.

“I just want to say, good effort out there, Team Avatar!” Sokka exclaimed as he threw an arm around Y/N’s shoulder.

“Enough with the ‘Team Avatar’ stuff,” Katara said dryly. “No matter how many times you say it, it’s not going to catch on.”

“I like it, Sokka,” Y/N smiled. “I’ve liked it this whole time.”

“You always appreciate my genius, Y/N,” he mused. “That’s why I appreciate you.” She laughed and leaned her head against his shoulder as he continued to list off names.

“How about… the Boomeraang squad! Eh? See, it’s good because it’s boomerang, and it has Aang in it—”

“Yeah Sokka,” Toph interrupted. “We got it.”

Aang grinned and scratched his head. “I kinda like that one.”

“The Aang Gang. Ooh, the Fearsome Fivesome!”

“You’re crazy,” Toph muttered as she walked away.

“Wait, Sokka—” Y/N pulled away from him and held up her pointer finger. “Aang Gang — what if we combine it, so it’s just the Gaang? But still with Aang’s name?”

And at that moment, Sokka looked more proud than ever. “Oh, you— you are a genius.”

“Oh, spirits,” Katara groaned. “Why do you insist on encouraging him?”

“You’re just jealous of our name-making abilities,” Sokka said haughtily.

She rolled her eyes but couldn’t stop herself from laughing. “You two are completely ridiculous, you know that? Let’s just get into the city before the trains stop running.”

Y/N and Sokka winked at each other as they all started walking, unable to keep the smile off of her face. She always thought it was amazing — they went through insane things every day, but at the end of it all she was always able to smile because of them. And as her gaze drifted towards the city in the distance, she hoped it would hold true.

She had no idea what Ba Sing Se had in store for her.

shit is gonna happen next chapter so i hope you all are READY bc im not

perm tags: @dv0412 @siriuslyslyslytherin @maruchan77

atla tags: @marianne1806 @brown-eyed-thang @akiris

ehfar tags: @chandies-sideblog @zacatecanaaaa @anzanity @randomthingssss @escapingthoughtsandsecrets @shanksfav @shephard17895 @ilovespideyyy @carisi-sonny @selfship-mishaps @i-belong-in-fandoms @ilistentotayswifttocope @i-make-questionable-choices @3leni

#zuko x reader #zuko x you #zuko x y/n #zuko #zuko fic #prince zuko #avatar #avatar the last airbender #atla #avatar fic #atla fic #avatar the last airbender fic #avatar x reader #avatar the last airbender x reader #atla x reader #sadie writes

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skepticalarrie · 2 years

Note

Hi there, hope you’re doing well! I have a question about Elean*r. And if you don’t want to answer I totally understand (or if you’d rather answer this in messages rather than publicly so as to not stir the pot I’d be glad to listen). Ok So when management put El and Louis together, she was the same age as Louis, and I guess I kinda feel bad for her bc, just like Louis, she couldn’t have known how long this stunt was going to last. And like yeah over the years she’s obviously used Louis’ image to her advantage, but I find it hard to blame her for that bc she was so young and couldn’t have realized what she was saying “yes” to. I just find it so hard to believe that Louis and El wouldn’t at the very least have an understanding with each other. If Louis really hated her, he could probably tell management he wanted a different “girlfriend”. And El could say the same thing to her management. There’s plenty of models and closeted people in the industry sea. That’s why I think that they are on good terms. Like he has to know how much it must suck to have his fanbase dislike her for being with him bc they know the truth abt his relationship w Harry. And it’s a “convenient” relationship for the both of them, so I don’t see why either of them would make themselves even more miserable by actively hating each other instead of just saying “this sucks but this is where we are, let’s make the best of it” and that way they both save each other the stress. They both must realize that they were taken advantage of at a young age by their respective management, so I find it hard to believe that L could fault El from “benefitting” from a stunt that got out of hand. And If I was Louis I’d be more comfortable being with a “girlfriend” that’s been there since the beginning (and stuck through 10 years) and understands the relationship and what management put H and L through, instead of a new random model that uses him for clout. (Yes El uses his image to keep her relevant but that’s different than a “girlfriend” that exploits Louis for clout on social media, esp considering El rarely even posts about him. maybe I’m just too soft but I feel bad when people refer to her as “The dog-walker” I guess my question is why do people hate her as much as Octopus?

Hi, anon. How are you?

I'm sorry but I think you're screaming about it in the wrong place? I don't think people hate her more than Olivia - not even close - I don't think Louis hates her either, and I don't think she's using his image for anything. So I'm just going to keep this short. I think they're work colleagues and get along fine, not friends but she's someone who has been around Louis for a long time and I think her job goes beyond being a beard, I totally believe Louis was personally involved in bringing her back for Elounor 2.0, btw. And I'm guessing she works as some sort of PA as well. And this is because this is a comfortable position for him, she's not as annoying as Danielle and she mostly makes herself invisible, they don't need to interact much, so it's a win-win situation while he still needs to have a beard. She's not doing it to promote him, to promote herself, she's there because he can't be out, she's a beard and I just talked about the importance of that here.

Now.... are you seriously comparing Louis' closeting with Eleanor's choice of being a stunt? Yeah she was young and maybe she had no idea what she was getting herself into, but she could leave at any point. It's not like the girl was starving and she desperately needed a job. Girlfriends are replaceable, they replaced her when she probably didn't want to make part of babygate. She's willingly contributing to his closet. So I'm sorry, but I'm not sorry for her. This discussion is absurd

#ask #elounor

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letarasstuff · 3 years

Text

Normal People don't know their IQ

(A/N): Inspired by me, who recently discovered normal people don’t know their IQ, while I was tested two or three times already...

Summary: A certain someone is the only way to get the UnSub. But there’s also something different that makes her special.

Warnings: Angst (fluffy end, I swear), language, mentions of rape and torture, mention of dead people, the usual CM stuff I guess Wordcount: 2.0k

✨Masterlist✨ _________________________________________

“Garcia, I need you to look into high school teachers, who are suspended or fired for inappropriate behavior towards students and live in the area of the kidnappings”, Hotch orders in a stern voice. But you can’t blame him, after all there are currently six dead teenage girls and one missing. One can only hope and work as fast as possible to get her back to her parents alive.

The team is working a case in Sacramento, California. Teenage girls get abducted on their way home from school, are held for exactly a week and are killed by a simple cut to their throat. The torture they have to endure beforehand isn’t as simple. The last two also show signs of rape.

The dumbing sites are different parks all over the city. The placing happens overnight only to have the girls found the next morning by a clueless jogger or stroller.

“Let’s go over the profile again, I feel like we are missing something”, Rossi commands. His gut feeling tells him only that much, he just has to find out what it is.

“It’s a white male in his mid thirties to late forties. He blends in, so he has to be or has been a teacher. Someone who looks like they belong into a school isn’t suspicious”, Spencer counts the facts.

“The victims all look similar, probably resembling an ex-wife or girlfriend”, Morgan adds. Before he can get into the depth of the torture a phone rings.

“My lovely crime fighters, I got an address. Charles Collins. philosophy and history. Got suspended for suggestive talk towards his female students. He is also said to stare at them and certain body parts for way too long and way too obvious. Gross. Annnd that- wait”

“What is it, Garcia?” Hotch asks after a moment of silence, which is unusual for the ever bubbly tech analyst.

“You got your profile wrong. Collins doesn’t take these girls because of an ex flame.”

The team looks at each other in confusion. Garcia always stresses how she isn’t a profiler and can’t judge over people, because she only wants to see the good in them. How is she able to tell that the profile is off?

“Shoot baby girl, we don’t have much time left”, Derek urges her. He wants nothing more than to have this SOB finally behind bars. The whole team wants that.

“He has a daughter. Technically it’s not his daughter, it’s someone else’s, but he is her foster father. Go and please save both girls!”

Penelope doesn’t have to say it twice. After a brief thank you and goodbye the team is on their way to the given address. As soons as they get there, everyone notices the absence of a car in the driveway. Hotch sends Spencer, Emily and Derek through the back door, the rest goes in from the front.

“FBI! OPEN UP!”

It’s needless to say that nobody opens up. There is no other way than kicking the doors down.

After entering the house and clearing the first floor, Rossi points towards the stairs that leads to the first story. There are only two rooms. A bathroom right hand and a closed door left hand.

Morgan counts quietly down before also kicking this door down and screaming “FBI!” But he seemingly talks with air, because there is no one to be found. Once again the team swarms out to look for evidence or clues.

As Spencer looks through the room they cleared last, he sees various things that make him smile. Several bookshelves are flooded with all kinds of genres, authors and covers. At first he can’t make out in which way they are sorted. But a closer look makes him realize that they are sorted by the author’s birth year. The doctor is kind of impressed, because that means the person knows when they are born in order to find a certain book. He likes the idea, it is a nice little challenge.

While he investigates further a sound makes him stop. He sends a text to Emily and waits for her. When she enters the room Spencer gestures to her to keep it quiet. Then he points to the bed.

They lower themselves down to the floor at the same time on each side of it. A girl, no older than 14 years, lays there shivering in angst. With big doe eyes she looks at Spencer and whispers:

“Please don’t hurt me.”

A while later the team is back at the station with the girl sitting in one of the interrogation rooms. The temperature is already set down, though Hotch feels really bad for it. Still there is another girl out there waiting to be safed.

“Baby girl, what can you give us on her?” Morgan sets his phone in the middle of the table and switches the speaker on.

“Our little girl’s name is (Y/N) (Y/L/N), fourteen years old. Parents were deemed to be unable to look after her since they are both heavy drug addicts and didn’t even register her crying for two hours straight. Since the age of six months she bounces through the system with nobody wanting to keep her longer than two years. They claim she is too smart for them and want somebody to look after her, who can challenge her intellectually.

“Collins took her in one and a half years ago. He got her signed up in several activities after school, like chess and academic decathlon. As of right now she is a junior with an opportunity to graduate next year. Her teachers describe her as incredibly bright with a complicated way of thinking.”

“Complicated way of thinking? Her intelligence was neglected for years, so she gave herself her own challenges. I found her books sorted by the birth year of the authors. She found ways of making things more difficult for herself, that’s why she fabricated strange ways of thinking. This is often found in children with high intelligence, who are not boosted enough by their environment”, Spencer explains, getting more and more furious.

His colleagues feel that this is a sensitive subject for their resident genius. JJ comfortably puts a hand on his shoulder, making the tense go away.

“Emily and Dave, I want both of you to interrogate her. We need to know where he hides the girls. JJ, try to hold the press off for a bit longer. Morgan, Reid, I want you to watch and look for tells or anything else”, Aaron orders.

Everyone works on their given task immediately.

You don’t need to be a profiler to see that (Y/N) is scared out of her mind. She has her feet on her chair and her head lies on her knees. When the two agents enter, she tries to at least fake some kind of composer. But she fails miserably at it.

“Hello (Y/N), may I call you that?” Emily begins in a soft voice. The teenager nods shyly. “Good, (Y/N). My name is Emily Prentiss and this is David Rossi. We are agents from the Behavior Analysis Unit from the FBI. Do you know why you are here?” The teenager shakes her head.

“Ok, let’s cut the chase”, David's voice booms through the small room. “You know exactly why you are here. From what we saw in your room you are an incredibly smart girl. How high is your IQ? 130? 135?”

“147 a-actually”, she nervously corrects the agent, never meeting his eye. The team notices this fairly quickly.

“Even better, normal people don’t know their IQ. So you know what your forster father does. You saw the news, you read the papers, you heard your classmates talk. In addition to that, the girls look alarmingly similar to you. And all of the sudden Charles is more often out than usual. So do us a favor and come clear.” Then he pulls out a picture from a manila folder on the table. Emily tries to intervene.

“Rossi, don’t. She is not the UnSub. (Y/N) is just unfortunate to be at the wrong place.” “She might as well be another UnSub if she doesn’t do anything to help us. Do you know how long you are going to jail for helping hi-”

“I don’t know anything. I- of course I saw what is h-happening. A-and I connected the dots a long time a-ago. You know, Charles lost his job and that’s a stressor. T-then Child Service was investigating him, because of the suspension’s reasons. I-I couldn’t do anything. I had no evidence, the police wouldn’t believe me. I asked him once wh-what he thinks about, you know, what’s happening. He slapped me and told me to not talk about it again. I’m so sorry, I wanna help. The only thing that comes into my mind is an old cabin he once mentioned when I first arrived at his. B-but I don’t know if it helps you. P-please, I don’t want to go to jail or juvenile, I-” Then (Y/N) breaks down into tears.

Emily is in an instant by her side trying to calm her down, while Hotch gives the information to Garcia. As soon as she finds the location, JJ takes a seat next to (Y/N) and the rest of the team flies out.

“You don’t have to be scared of him anymore, Sweetheart. My colleagues will find him and he will be tried and convicted. He will never be a threat to you again”, the blonde tries to comfort her.

“Whenever I leave an abusive home, there will be another one that’s exactly the same. The only difference with Charles was that he seemed to understand me. He helped me. There’s nobody who is willing to do what he did for me”, she admits sadly.

It breaks JJ’s heart, because her words are true. Even though he is a killer, Collins did help her. But she is also determined to show the young girl that he isn’t the only one who can do that. That there are more people out there, who are kind and as helpful if not more.

Not long after this the team brings the man into the station, Morgan guiding him with a deadbolt-like grip.

Rossi spots (Y/N) in a break room with a hot drink in her hands. While making his way over there, Spencer follows him. He wants to talk with her as well.

“(Y/N) I’m sincerely sorry if I hurt you earlier. I didn’t intend to scare you, we just had to act quickly and you were the only source of information available. I also wanted to tell you, that your achievements are astonishing and I guarantee you a bright future, maybe even at the FBI”, he winks at the end of his last sentence.

“I understand, Agent Rossi. But doesn’t everybody know their IQ? I assumed everybody gets at least tested once in their life in some way”, she asks with surprise in her voice.

At that the older man is speechless. Of all things she could accuse him of legitimately, (Y/N) goes with the most innocent question.

“Actually, not everybody gets tested. A reliable test has to be done by a psychologist and most people don’t go to one. Furthermore there has to be a valid reason to do one, that’s why a great part of the population doesn’t know their IQ”, intervenes Spencer. He has to infodump, since the last time was over half an hour ago.

“But you also have to differentiate between the several kinds of intelligence, because intelligence is way more than being good at math. There…”

Rossi stopped listening to the excited interaction between the two geniuses. Instead he watches their body languages and facial expressions. He hasn’t seen both of them more at calm than they are now.

After all there might be a way for (Y/N) to get a little Happy End.

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soulmate-game · 3 years

Text

Maribat March 2021 @maribatmarch-2k21

Day 1: Found Family

“Ah! Bonjour!” A cheery voice called, as a short Eurasian girl bound over to the unfairly intimidating mob of tall people with sharp eyes. Chloe had called in a favor. “My name is Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Chloe told me that your tour guide cancelled at the last minute, so she blackmail—sorry, begged me to fill in for them. You are the Wayne’s, non?”

The one at the front of the group, clearly Bruce Wayne since Marinette didn’t live under a rock and had seen the man on several American news broadcasts before, nodded and cleared his throat. Man, was he intimidating. Even when he shot her a dazzling smile that was sure to blind Paparazzi with fake cheer. It was a nice smile, Marinette wasn’t about to deny. But it was empty. Distant. And Marinette wasn’t going to buy it for a second.

“Yes, that’s us. Mademoiselle Bourgeois mentioned she had asked a close friend of hers to take care of our tour.”

Marinette nodded again, clasping her hands behind her back. “I guarantee, you won’t miss anything the tour guide would have shown you. In fact, Chloe mentioned that you all were very curious about the now retired Parisian heroes, right? My former best friend ran the Ladyblog back when they were active. I am more than confident that I can answer any questions you have while we go through the city.”

A boy with a white streak in his hair rose his hand, as if he was in a class and needed to wait to be called on. Which, considering the sheer size of their family, Marinette was actually grateful for. But damn, this was another imposing figure. Slightly taller than even the six-foot-three-inches that Bruce Wayne owned, he was solidly built and rocked a brown leather jacket and ripped black jeans. Marinette smiled and nodded for him to speak.

“How old are you? Because I don’t know if twelve year olds are allowed to do guided tours,” there was an obvious tease in his voice, but there was also legitimate concern in his blue-green eyes. Marinette almost missed that concern amid her quickly building annoyance. She even felt her eyes twitch.

“I’m turning eighteen in a few months if you need to know, Monsieur,” she evened out the bite in her voice with an overly sweet smile. “And if you want to get lost and possibly pickpocketed in the busy streets of Paris, then please continue to make comments on my height. If not, we can begin our tour and you might even enjoy it.”

Several Wayne’s snickered at her comeback, one man in particular elbowing the white haired gentleman with a little too much glee. Even the stoic Bruce laughed softly, and a boy with enough bags under his eyes to make the airport jealous nearly fell over himself with his suppressed laughter.

The man himself just snorted, sending her a lopsided smirk that oddly radiated approval. It was almost as if she had passed some sort of test.

“My name’s Jason, Pixie. You already know B. The guy trying to break my ribs,” he pointedly shoved off the one who had elbowed him, “is Dick. He’s Bruce’s first adoptive casualty. The one that looks like a zombie is Tim, we might need to take a break to get him more coffee before he passes out halfway through. The one who hasn’t stopped glaring at you is Damian, the badass redhead is Barbara but we all call her Babs. The annoying blonde is Stephany, the other cool badass over there is Cass. She doesn’t talk much. And the one trying to pretend he doesn’t know us is Duke.”

Each member he introduced gave her a little wave or nod. Even Damian managed a short nod of acknowledgement before resuming his glare. He looked to be a couple years younger than her, so she just brushed it off as teenage drama.

“Alright then! It is very nice to meet you all. Now, Chloe did inform me that you guys are very multilingual, which is another reason she asked me instead of one of our other friends. If you ever need it, I obviously am fluent in both French and English. But added to that, I am fluent in Cantonese, Mandarin, Italian, and I know basic survival Japanese. I also know French Sign Language, though I’m not sure if that’s very useful for you unfortunately. If you ever need to communicate non-verbally, I will do my best to accommodate that. Now, I believe you guys were scheduled to start the tour with a visit to the Louvre, non? Right this way.”

As Marinette led the large group out of the Grand Paris, they didn’t bother taking time to admire the sights before asking questions.

“Have you ever met one of the heroes?” Dick, who might have been shorter than Jason and Bruce but was muscular enough to still inspire caution (and admiration), asked. His blue eyes seemingly stared right through Marinette as he continued; “If you’re almost eighteen, then they must have been active through a lot of your school career.”

Marinette smiled. “They did only retire last year,” she agreed with a nod. “Yes, I have met all of the Parisian heroes at least once,” she snorted at a stray thought. “In fact, I met Chat Noir quite a lot. You see, my old College was basically ground zero for a lot of akuma attacks. And by a lot, I mean a majority of them,” she shook her head before pausing to get everyone to cross a street. “After a while, Chat Noir started calling me ‘princess’ to make fun of how often he had to save me. He’s an annoying ass.”

Despite her words, everyone behind her could easily hear the fondness there. They all traded glances. What if this was a Lois and SuperMan situation? Regardless, they all had a suspicion that Marinette knew more about the heroes than she let on. Or, at least more about Chat Noir.

“When you say that your school was a hotspot for Akuma attacks,” Bruce spoke up cautiously, his Dad Senses going haywire. He didn’t like how nonchalantly she had said it— she was far too casual. Sure enough, he watched as the muscles between her shoulders stiffened slightly at the conversation change. “What do you mean? Surely it couldn’t have been that bad if the school is still around.”

Marinette sucked her teeth, grimacing. “The school is still there, yeah, but only because of Ladybug’s ability. You’ve heard about the Cure, right?” It was Tim who answered her;

“Yeah. It fixed the damage done during a fight, right?” He asked, tilting his head a little. Marinette ignored her brief thought that the gesture made him look like a curious puppy. She sighed.

“Yeah. But when they say damage, they mean everything. Injuries, collateral. Death,” she said the last example darkly, far too much weight behind the word for it to be meaningless. She heard Jason hiss in sympathy. “But there are good things. The Cure also erased anyone’s memories of dying besides the vague knowledge that it did happen, so there isn’t much trauma there to unpack. Not as much as there could have been anyway,” she assured them. “And I’m one of the lucky ones. I never died, and I was never Akumatized.”

“Hmph,” Damian’s voice cut through the brief silence that followed her admission. She looked back at him to see his sharp green eyes staring right into her. “You don’t honestly believe that’s lucky.” It wasn’t a question. Marinette clenched her jaw, turning around and ignoring him.

Because, no. It wasn’t luck. It wasn’t lucky that she was the only one that remembered everything— all of the deaths, all of the Akumatizations, everything that others mercifully forgot. Since she lived through all of it, she remembered all of it. And survivor’s guilt is nothing to scoff at.

But she wasn’t about to reveal her trauma, or at the very least the full scope of it, to people she had just met and was leading on a tour.

“If you look to the left, you’ll see a statue that was made depicting Ladybug and Chat Noir back during the first years of their activity,” she suddenly told them, gesturing to the still-standing statue. Nobody missed the obvious topic change, but nobody commented on it either. Turns out the statue was something they had been looking forward to seeing in person, Tim even went up to take a few photos with his camera. Barbara took a few circles around the statue, easily pivoting her wheelchair around it as if she was trying to see every angle and imperfection possible. Marinette couldn’t help but chuckle fondly at the sight.

“Your family are pretty big fans, huh?” She asked Cass and Duke, the only ones that had stayed back with her. Duke snorted, and Cass gave her a small grin.

“They like to keep up to date with all the heroes,” Duke answered with a shrug. “Since we’re so high profile, it isn’t weird for us to be saved by one here or there even when we’re away from Gotham.”

Marinette just gave him an odd look, furrowing her brows. “But the Miraculous team has been disbanded since HawkMoth was defeated,” she reminded them. “There’s no need for them to save anybody anymore.”

“Old habits,” Cass spoke up softly, her voice barely a whisper. Her eyes locked with Marinette’s. “Not easy to break.”

The smaller woman had a feeling that Cass wasn’t talking about her family’s habit of keeping up to date on heroes.

“Alright! We need to head to the next stop or we might not have time to see everything!”

The tour went pretty similarly. The walks between stops were pleasant, and filled with questions about the period of time where HawkMoth was active. Marinette wasn’t even the least bit surprised nor put off; everyone was curious about those years now that the tourism restriction was lifted and people could ask freely about it. Besides the many questions about the Heroes, Marinette found the group to be very pleasant company. They were polite, but also rowdy in a very endearing way. She caught a lot of inside jokes they had with each other, and a lot of good natured teasing and fighting. They even managed to rope her into it somehow, and she found herself snidely teasing Damian or casually threatening Tim with not allowing them a coffee break. She even got to ride on Jason’s shoulders for a bit after he made another comment on her height that she Did Not Appreciate. But the ride she got made it worth it.

But soon the sun was high in the sky, and it was about time for them to take a lunch break. They had all been walking for hours with only a few chances to rest, and honestly Marinette was impressed that none of them seemed too tired out by it.

“Alright,” she put her hands on her hips proudly. “Since some of you won’t stop whining about needing coffee or being hungry— Dick, don’t you dare buy anything from that vendor! I’m gonna lead you all to my parent’s bakery so we can have lunch and caffeinate all of you. And conveniently enough,” she smiled widely. “The bakery is right across the street from my old College! So you’ll be able to get a look at where the majority of Akuma attacks happened, and maybe I can tell you a few specific stories if you want,” she offered. There were a couple cheers (Tim and Dick) from the crowd and everyone seemed pretty pleased with the next step in their tour. Smiling, Marinette turned and began to lead them in the direction of her home.

Sirens blared, a fire truck zooming down the street next to them.

Headed in the same direction.

Marinette frowned, watching it go. “That’s weird. I hope everyone’s okay, whatever happened,” she mused idly. But as they kept going forward, the sirens didn’t get any softer. If anything, they started getting louder again after a while. Marinette was visibly concerned by then, her pace picking up. “This is my neighborhood,” she told the solemn group behind her. “I know everyone on this street—“ they rounded the corner, and Marinette stopped in her tracks. Her world ground to a halt.

There was the fire truck, stopped right in front of her bakery.

Which was completely ablaze.

A string of curses flew out of her mouth, the little Eurasian wasting no more time before sprinting towards the building. She could hear people yelling at her to wait, slow down, stop! But she ignored them. The only thing on her mind was that her home was on fire.

“Marinette! Wait!” Dick reached out to grab her arm, but like a snake Marinette easily slipped out of his grip and continued forward. Steph was next, deciding to just tackle Marinette— to no avail. The Parisian just shouldered the bigger woman off of her with pure adrenaline fueling her muscles, and everyone else knew by then that they could not stop her. The Wayne’s decided all they could do was jog behind Marinette, keeping her in sight as they tried to gauge the damage.

“The top floors don’t look like they have even been touched by the fire yet,” Tim whispered, though his eyes flew between the building and their tour guide. Marinette was speaking rapidly with a firefighter that wasn’t immediately busy, trying to get information. But before anyone could decipher what was said, Marinette tore a large strip off the bottom of her shirt and tied it in a hasty mask around her mouth.

“Wait!” Bruce was the first to realize what was happening, with his years of experience with self sacrificing children and their stupid stunts. But Marinette managed to kick him away before he could grab her, dashing into the inferno without paying any heed to the many protests that followed her.

The group of Gothamites could do nothing but watch the flaming building, then. If they went inside, it would only overcrowd a hazardous area. Minutes passed, and there was movement in the fire. Out of the doorway came Marinette and a firefighter, both having to work together to carry the body of a large man outside. The sight of the man made the Gotham family blink— he was as big as Bane! And that was nothing to scoff at. But despite his unusual size and muscle mass, the man had all the signs of being a normal civilian.

Marinette didn’t stop there. She ran back in. Coming out a lot more quickly this time with a barely conscious Asian woman— everyone saw the resemblance between her and this new woman immediately.

It had to be her mother.

“Shit,” Duke hissed. Nobody else could say a word. It wasn’t looking good, and this wasn’t a situation where random vigilantes showing up out of nowhere could actually help. Not this late into the fire. Bruce’s hands curled into fists.

The woman that everyone guessed was Marinette’s mother was suddenly struck by lucidity; she gasped and grabbed at Marinette’s hand without seeming to see who she was even talking to. A single word that none of the Waynes could hear left her throat, and judging by Marinette’s returning panic it hadn’t been good.

She rushed right back into the building, and came back out with the last firefighter who had been searching inside.

Marinette carried a child. She screamed out in panicked French;

“She’s not breathing! I need first aid now!”

That was their cue. The firefighters started their hoses, focusing on getting rid of the flames now that nobody was left inside the building. Bruce and Damian got to Marinette first, and this time she listened as they instructed her to set the child down. Damian, being smaller and having more hands-on medical knowledge, took charge of the resuscitation. Marinette sat there silently, eyes riveted to the small child— a girl.

But Marinette wasn’t reacting like a normal civilian to tragedy. She was eerily calm, eyes focused and barely concealing a terrible rage. She took over chest compressions when Damian started to lose momentum, not giving up.

But then the EMTs arrived, and it was only five minutes with the child hooked onto oxygen that the news arrived—

Marinette heard the monitors on the ambulance flatline before she even registered what people were trying to tell her. Manon. Manon was—

Marinette didn’t register Nadya Chammack at first. She was just another body in the quickly growing sea of them. That is, until she heard Nadya’s pained shriek. A mother who had just lost her baby girl.

“Perhaps we should head back,” Bruce offered softly, giving Marinette space but keeping a keen eye on her. He saw her begin to tremble, then shake. He was pretty sure he could hear the grinding of her teeth for a second before she went still. Just… all movement stopped, the tears that had been building just falling silently for a second before they ended.

And he recognized that carefully practiced emptiness in her bluebell eyes. The same emptiness he had seen in Damian’s eyes when he had first arrived at the Manor. The same emptiness he saw in Dick’s eyes in the days following his parent’s deaths.

The same emptiness he saw in the mirror, every time he had another nightmare about the day Jason had been taken from him, years ago.

Suddenly he could imagine all too well exactly what kind of strength she had to have, to avoid her negative emotions ever being used against her during Hawkmoth’s reign. Especially if she had constantly been dealing with her friends and family being Akumatized and/or dying on multiple occasions.

She didn’t even seem to have heard him. Bruce sighed.

“I called Chloe,” Barbara informed everyone solemnly, holding up her phone for emphasis. “She’ll be here in five.”

—*—*—*—*—*

Chloe hadn’t come alone. With her had been Adrien Agreste, former model when his father hadn’t been… well, in prison. Nowadays he was just a normal student who occasionally gave lectures on neglect and child abuse, and how to help children in those situations.

And, apparently, he was also Marinette’s closest friend. Even more so than Chloe. As soon as they arrived back at the Grand Paris, Chloe herded everyone up into her suite and she and Adrien surrounded Marinette with pillows and blankets. Adrien curled around Marinette like an affectionate cat, and Damien even swore he heard the guy purr at some point

“We should probably leave,” Bruce whispered to their hostess, who looked inbetween him and her friends for a moment before jerking her head towards the door.

“I wanna talk to you first,” Chloe whispered back. Once they all filed out into the hallway and the door was safely closed, Chloe took a breath. “First, I want to tell you that I got a call from the hospital. Marinette’s father is stable, but in a coma right now.”

“Is that the man who looked like he could bench press a car for fun?” Dick asked, earning a weak grin from the Bourgeois heiress.

“Yeah, that’s him. But…” Chloe’s face fell, and she looked around as if to double check nobody was eavesdropping. She still lowered her voice anyway. “Her mother, Sabine. She…” Chloe swallowed a lump in her throat, images of the extremely kind Chinese woman flashing through her mind without permission. “She didn’t make it.”

Several people took a sharp breath, acknowledging everything that had gone so wrong for Marinette on a day that had started so perfectly.

“The smoke?” Cass asked gently, but Chloe winced and shifted on her feet.

“No. They… there were rope marks on Sabine’s neck,” Chloe clenched her eyes shut at the admission. “Marinette’s dad might be big, but he’s not a fighter. Sabine, though… Sabine was. She was raised in a martial arts family back in China. I’ve seen Sabine take down five men at once, all twice her size,” Chloe kicked her lips, shaking her head in disbelief. “Somebody knew… somebody knew that the little Chinese woman was a threat but the big baker with tons of muscle was harmless.”

Nobody took that well. Not only had Marinette just lost her home and half of her family, but her father was in a coma and it had all been foul play.

“Okay,” Bruce nodded once the news had time to sink in. They could help with this; this was their specialty. They might have only known Marinette for six hours, but she had made a big impression. It wasn’t just anybody that could mesh with his family so seamlessly in that short span of time. “Is there anything else?”

“I want you to get temporary custody of her,” Chloe said it the way only Chloe Bourgeois could. With her back straight, chin high, and the tone of a woman who expected to be listened to or else she’d make life Hell for the person that didn’t take her seriously. Bruce could only blink.

“Can I ask for your reasoning?”

“Marinette has been closing herself off more and more over the years,” Chloe admitted. “Hawkmoth’s reign was hard on her. Only Adrien really knows everything she went through during those years. But even after the disbanding of the team, she hasn’t… she hasn’t allowed herself to get close to anybody new. That’s why I tricked her into doing your tour. She needed to socialize with new people, and if she wouldn’t do it herself then I had to pull some strings.”

A few eyebrows raised at the admission that Chloe had fully planned for Marinette to be their tour guide the whole time. It honestly seemed like the kind of well meaning manipulation that one of them would try to pull off.

“She likes you,” Chloe’s voice went soft again, showing how uncharacteristically serious she was about that fact. “She was comfortable enough to let you guys carry her back here. To let you try to help Manon. That might not seem like a big deal to you, but it says a lot to me and Adrien. And… getting her away from Paris for a while is probably a good idea. She was planning to go to Gotham for university anyway.”

The Waynes traded glances before Bruce crosses his arms and asked some more questions first. Doesn’t Marinette have other family? Answer; only her grandmother, who travels all the time and nobody ever knows where she is until she shows up. Bruce agreed that Gina Dupain didn’t exactly seem like a good candidate for Marinette’s new guardian with that description. But finally, to none of his children's surprise, he did end up agreeing.

“But,” he held up a single finger. “We’ll Wait here in Paris for a week, so that she can try to salvage everything she can from her house and so we can get an idea on how her father is doing. There’s still a chance he’ll come out of his coma fairly quickly. And of course, we will only go through with this if Marinette agrees when we ask her tomorrow.”

Chloe agreed to those terms, looking like a weight had been lifted off of her.

Chloe never cut corners when taking care of her hive. And if that meant making sure that her brave soldier bee could move on to start a new hive, one that was better equipped to take care of her, then Chloe would do everything she could to help that move. And really; Chloe was far more resourceful and observant than people gave her credit for. The butts definitely matched, and Bruce Wayne was her last hope to get Marinette the support she needed. Outside of Adrien, anyway.

Chloe took a breath, watching the Waynes trickle off into their own rooms. Marinette was like the little sister she never wanted, but grew to love more than anything. Though, Chloe knew she really chose Marinette as her sister the same way they both chose Adrien as their brother. She just didn’t want to admit she was sentimental like that. But Chloe knew that someone like Marinette needed a bigger family. More support.

She could only hope that Marinette and the Waynes grew to become family for her like she and Adrien had. Kwami knew that Marinette needed all the help she could get for the foreseeable future.

“You did good, my Queen.”

“I know, Pollen. Now we just have to find out who dared hurt my hive.”

—*—*—*—*—*

Dude this took so long to write, but I’m actually really proud of it. Probably gonna take this Maribat March a little differently than last year, and make a few longer stories by connecting some of the prompts together. Maybe each week will be a full story? Idk I’ll figure it out. I know I’m behind but I’m working on it.

I tried to keep the angst out, but it found it’s way in here anyway. Oh well!

#mlb x dc #ml x dc #maribat #maribat march 2021 #Maribat March 2k21 #platonic brucinette #found family #day 1 #Maribat March #day 1 found family #I was a little late but oh well

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