@jeoseungsaja​ sent in: BUT ALSO "You can tell me." (Hyurick iN THE BLACK KNIGHT VERSE 👀) || emotional vulnerability all of my muses’ worst nightmare great 🙃 ( ft. you can tell me meme )

A bitter laugh. His arm stings, a bullet having grazed it, ripping through the fabric above. It’s like a wall, wound after wound piling on top of one another. But it’s all good, the human body is meant to be regenerative- as long as he can walk and fight, he can take as many as NECESSARY.

Although perhaps the Black Knight would have preferred for the bullets to graze well, maybe lower.

Anywhere that doesn’t intersect with the burn scars. But then again, he supposes that would quite the demand- asking the bullets to avoid his arms, his shoulders, and his neck. The easiest places for someone to strike.

( The oil they poured on him trickled down like water and when the roads were paved, the FLAMES followed that path. )

It doesn’t take an expert to know they’re scars from long ago, but Hyuk would know from first glance they’re burn scars. He’s seen his fair share of burns throughout his time at Gangnam Station. That, and that young woman taking up his apartment, the one who occasionally feeds the pigeons with Myungdae, Suki, he’s probably seen her scars up close for long enough to recognize severe ones when he sees them.

“And why would you want to know? I’m not your friend. You’ve already made it very clear you couldn’t care less about what happens to me.” Well it’s the TRUTH, isn’t it? The Black Knight keeps breaking into his office, threatens to stab him on a frequent enough basis, and spits on the memory of himself Hyuk’s dear dead friend. Understandably, Hyuk would be hostile. Bitter.  The only reason Hyuk doesn’t fight him on it is that the Black Knight is his only means of getting closer to the truth. Or so the detective thinks.

( Perhaps it’s getting to be that time. Breaking the partnership, for Hyuk’s SAFETY. Patrick will be alone again, but at least Hyuk will be safe. )

And yet the Black Knight averts his gaze, chastised. The hat shifts to one side- he readjusts it, finger rubbing over the brim. He shouldn’t have said that. That’s not like him, this bitterness welling up and bleeding through like an open wound.

But then again, it not like Hyuk either, showing open concern. Let alone insisting the Black Knight’s arm needs treatment.

Ironically though, it’s probably the most open Patrick has been with his dear friend in years. So Patrick can’t lie to Hyuk, even with the mask and the tall collar covering his face. That doesn’t mean he can’t withhold information or EMOTIONS for that matter.

That doesn’t count as lying. Not really.

( Pawn would point out that sounds more like an excuse. )

“You think you’re the only one with a vendetta?” He turns away sharply, ripping his arm out of Hyuk’s grasp. It burns now, unable to differentiate between current pain and GHOST of older ones. “You do realize you’re your friend wasn’t the only one ANACHRON made an example out of.”

Encanto: 1, 5, and 11

1. which character do you relate to the most from your fandom?

Both Mirabel and Bruno. "Waiting On A Miracle" is a hard one to get through when I sing along with it cause I FEEL that. I can feel a lot from most I Want songs in Disney films, always have. But that one? That one HURT. That moment right beforehand, where you see her face has relief and happiness for Antonio not needing to go through the same trauma as her, but also the envy and bitterness of "why couldn't I have had this?" and probably even hating that she felt it cause she just wants to be happy for him. I FELT that deep in my soul. She did a better job than me at staying positive, but can I take a moment to gush over the role that her parents, Julieta and Agustín, likely played in helping form that part of her? Because I love how much they obviously love her and do what they can to make her feel like she IS enough, even if they don’t quite manage to succeed over the matriarch’s attitude.

(Edit: Woop, fixed the spelling on Agustín’s name cause someone brought up in the fandom tags that people often forget the accent in his name. I can’t say I forgot, but that’s because my blind ass didn’t even see that the “i” had an accent.)

And for Bruno, well... I also know what its like to be the socially awkward, anxious, neurodivergent one that for a bit while young is told they're some rising star, but eventually is seen as a burned out, walking disaster to whom it is made clear I should just leave because trying to talk about it sure as hell didn't work. Resulting in the others talking shit about me after I'm gone (which I knew they’d do ahead of time) and turning me into their villain. (Its easier for people to make a villain out of someone than it is to grieve their absence, especially if you had some involvement in driving them away. Not healthier, but easier.) And lets see, spending waaay too much time not interacting with other human beings and being even worse than ever at doing so afterwards. And feeling awkward coming back into the family after being distant from it for so long?

Yeah... That's unfortunately VERY relatable to me. (Also I will admit, I have been very self-conscious since first watching it that I have an overwhelming need to knock on wood to not jinx things. A lot. Nowhere near as extremely as him, his is at pretty cartoonish levels, but I've sure noticed whenever I do it now. XD)

This movie came for me and held up a mirror and was very uncomfortable at first and I am very defensive of pretty much any of the Madrigals, but especially Mirabel and Bruno.

5. who is your favorite character (and maybe why?)

Its a close call between Mirabel and Bruno for reasons already stated mainly, but been leaning towards Bruno. Because I am always SUCH a sucker for kicked-puppy characters that give me an overwhelming urge to hug them and never let go. Also I love his aesthetic. The green and the hourglass motif and the glowy eyes when he uses his power? Nice. (BTW his ruana looks like its fucking comfy AF, like a hoodie that's also a comfort blanket, which I totally headcanon is why he wears it. I would love one that looks like his to just be comfy in around the house, but alas the only ones out there are made out of that shitty thin plastic-y costume material, not actually woven.)

Aside from the two Madrigal outcasts, I LOVE Antonio. He is the most adorable child Disney has EVER animated, and has my favorite power out of all of them. I wanna have jaguar and capybara friends gdi! And I want to hug the stuffing out of that kid. He's so cute! (I am noticing my greater-than-usual severe need of hugs in this time of pandemic crisis...)

Of the adults, if I have to pick an overall favorite character DESIGN, not necessarily overall aesthetic or storyline, just the design of the character themselves? Dolores. She’s just so CUTE.

Okay look, I do love ALL the Madrigals. Its really hard not to mention why I like each one. And if you asked me about any of them, I could ramble about that character for a bit. I especially sooooo want stories about the Triplets from when they were younger, especially involving their relationships with each other. Alma/Abuela is probably my least favorite, but that's mainly cause of her role in the story. I still absolutely sympathize with her and understand where she was coming from. Even if I know what its like to be on the receiving end of such toxic perfectionism. I at least still understand her.

11. what song do you associate with a character (or 2)?

I've really only been into the fandom for a less than a month, and have been obsessed with the soundtrack since then. Haven't really been able to listen to much else XD. So running through my head to consider songs I know very well...

There are some songs I could see certain characters singing along with. I could see Mirabel and Isabela both getting into and belting out along with songs like “This is Me” (Greatest Showman) and “Reflection” (Mulan). I could see Bruno enjoying those types of songs as well, just less confidently perhaps. 

I could see Dolores relating to some of the feeling in “Satisfied” (Hamilton). Maybe see Camilo grooving to “The Stranger” by Billy Joel, relating to the feeling of wearing, or trying on, various ‘masks’ or identities over one’s life.

Immediately following the events leading up to receiving the Miracle, “Next Right Thing” (Frozen 2) seems VERY fitting for Alma.

...I would love to come up with more and I’m sure I could, given a LOT of time, but I know myself and I would never finish this ask if I tried to do that right now. XD But I would LOVE to come up with what songs I know that most fit the Triplets.

HARRY ZHONG (MITCHELL-WHITE)

IG info/bio: @/heedful.harry | 15.6k followers| hi, I’m Harry and I’m a business major. No, You don’t have to hold your applause 🧐

21 years old

From York, England

Cancer sun + ARIES MOON energy

He and his younger brother, Archie were foster children in the Mitchell-white household

which consisted: Harrison Mitchell and his daughter from a previous marriage, Briony, Piers White and together they had a surrogate carry their child, which gave them their second daughter, Pippa

Later they came to the decision to adopt Harry and Archie Zhong, if only that’s what they wanted too

It took longer for Harry to warm up to the family since he was still waiting and wishing for his mom to come back for them

He was diagnosed with IED around 15 years old

Goes to therapy for it and meetings with others with similar issues...he dreads the meetings since it makes him feel like he has a problem or something, which HE DOES but it makes him feel like a...but he knows that’s a ignorant way to think

He’s currently a business major and loves telling people about it *yawn* (don’t drag me lmao)

He’s thinking he’ll be a Financial analyst or a Marketing manager

The type of person who’s done a lot in his short life that it’s often unbelievable ex.) telling the villa he’s driven one of the cars that was used in the fast and furious franchise & getting pissed when bill and everyone else didn’t believe him

Harrison is a train driver and is normally bubbly + wears bright preppy clothes

He also loves Broadway, much to Harry’s annoyance...if he hears one more Hamilton song he’s gonna slam his head thru a wall stg

Piers is a music producer and is more reserved or “stand-off-ish” until he gets warmed up to you + his aesthetic is a rocker, yeah he’s got the whole tattoos and boots thing going for him, after all he was in a rock band

Piers makes the most $ and is of high status, which brought him and his family perks but is not a snob about it...it’s whatever ya know?

Harry’s closer to piers, feels he understands him more & can be kinda rude to Harrison when he’s in one of his moods but tries to be better at responding to him since he made him cry once years ago — yes he felt like complete shit afterwards

Harry is anemic so he always finds himself cold, experiencing fatigue, irregular heartbeat, and if he gets up too fast or moves too fast? Let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the—FLOOO000R! (I’m making this joke as a person with anemia)

Likes cold weather since everyone else can feel what he feels on the daily

Plus he loves dressing for winter season, trench coats, wool coats, turtle necks, thermal t-shirts, fleece pants, rolled up beanies that keeps his ears covered and his hair glued to his forehead...you name it!

On the regular? He’s a khaki’s kinda guy, dress shirts, and loves wearing suit and ties...he’s not the biggest fan of jeans. He loves dressing fancy unless the measurements are bloody awful

I’m going by the alternative design for Harry and...whew! Then he’s 6’1 if we’re talking about the one they gave us then we all know he has a baby face, so I’d say he’s about 5’8

He’s got long legs + arms and hates how majority of his pants barely fit around his ankles

has dry scalp too

I feel like he’s pretty intelligent and sometimes it can come off as a know it all, yet, he’s always down to help people & isn’t condescending while doing so

He knows how to make soaps and would sell them on his etsy account in highschool where plenty shat on him for it so for awhile he stopped the hobby until Harrison encouraged him to keep at this if it was what makes him happy

Harrison is the type of parent you go to for comfort and hugs even if it might feel like he’s smothering you

Piers is the one who lets you come to him when you’re ready to talk about it, no pressure

Harry went to a high school that focused on technology so he’s all into the latest gadgets

This is a secret but he only got a apple watch to feel like a true spy

His intelligence got him somewhere with a few ladies ;)

He’s a certified freak, 7 days a week and had a handful of hookups and about 4 gfs in his life so far

He’s kinky!!!

& has a f**t fetish

His past relationships were not long relationships, which sucked but Harry felt like...this might sound arrogant, but it’s either their lost — although there was never any bad blood with his breakups! or his person was still out there somewhere...

I haven’t fully played his route (AJ stole my ass since I couldn’t romance seb or Nicky sorry) but I’ve seen screen caps and he’s a total sweetie if he’s really committed to you, you might be his “true love”

He’s nervous opposed to his usual confidence when he’s chatting to other ladies with ease, with you it’s different, it’s magnetic, nerve-wrecking, butterflies, electric, and exciting all wrapped in one

I feel like he shows his love language with quality time but also enjoys physical touch from his partner

Picky eater

But he was worst as a child! Barely ate anything which led to him being lanky or it’s in his genes but mostly he wouldn’t eat a damn thing

These are a few of his favorite things: figs, green tea, and almond milk

makes the best spring rolls with the rice paper, those are superior than fried! “Fried food will kill u u know!” “Okay bill.” “Iona, don’t know if u had too much to drink but, erm I’m Harry.” “R/WHOOOOssssh! And you’re s’pposed to be the smart one, yeah right.”

outside of the villa he found himself continuing his friendship with bill—even tho he pisses him off sometimes since he’s always got some shit to say but they’re probably the closest, Iona she’s always honest and is always a good time to be around when they hang out, Then there’s Camilo and Miki that he hangs out with too

Is the first one sharing about his day in the group chat with all of the villa, he can feel half of them rolling their eyes at him since many feel he tends to exaggerate

if he’s not endgame with mc...he kinda feels a way that Genevieve found her happiness in seb instead of him, it’s not that he’s bitter—he genuinely liked her and felt like maybe they didn’t try hard enough but deep down knows relationships can’t be forced. It’s just his ego trying to control things that’s all! plus he was comfortable with vieve even if it felt more on a platonic side...oh well

once slid into jen from s1’s dms one dark stormy drunk night & admitted on live that erikah kinda gave him some tips before going on the show... & that he thought one of the new girls that entered the villa was a better fit than one of the originals from s2 which caused him to get blocked by said original OOP

Has a circle of close friends outside of the villa, they’re all brainiacs and have something going for themselves

Enjoys action films and biographical drama films like: James Bond, John Wick, and the social network

Isn’t ashamed to admit that he loves using sheet face masks but isn’t the greatest at following a consistent skincare routine

Has his own back massager that he spent a lot of $ on since it wouldn’t go on sale and then a week later...it went on sale

sends a lot of “🙃🙂” texts when you piss him off

probably worked at GameStop, the apple store, Godiva, and currently works at a electronic repair shop for a side of cash but is looking for a internship since he’ll be graduating next year

Always Keeps cough drops on him? 

is a huge cuddler & falls asleep easily

His brain is always active, experiences REM sleep often

fav video games are tekken & hitman

owns a drone now 😏

also loves strategic board games & riddles

Took quarantine life seriously, did his research before it completely broke globally and started buying shit excessively in person and online that he sent most to his family before the campus shut down

Is the friend that will check on his friends :)

Keeps his dorm and his room back home CLEAN af, is OCD about everything being in order/organized. Will know if you touched his shit, Archie felt his wrath many times before

Has a life goal board in his closet, & plans to be fully established by 25. More power to ya Harry!

Celeb crushes: Victoria justice, Jesy Nelson, Deepika Padukone, Brec Bassinger, jasmine tookes, and princess Mae

Who does he listen to? oceanfromtheblue, Galimatias, Ta-Ku, Aries, Tyler, the creator, rich Brian, NIKI, viji, & AJR

Anthem = DPR IAN, “So beautiful”

Upon rewatching last night’s episode and knowing what to expect, I’m loving so many details in it. In some regards, I’m giving the show snaps and saying, yeah this is the detail I always want. Haha, we’re going to overlook that Beth ordered a hit on Rio twice last night. 

I never promised to take off my shipper googles, okay?!

I have come around on the hitman character and I appreciate that the nature of Beth and Rio’s relationship was obvious to him despite how fucking terrible it is right now. I hope he reveals what tipped him off. What did he observe about Rio’s business ops with the girls that flagged it? Inquiring minds want to know!!!

Before the episode, I was convinced the hitman was working for Rio, or ended up going to Rio and disclosing the hit. Now I don’t think he’s working for Rio... I think Rio’s putting this together because of how obsessive he is about unpacking Beth and her chess moves (or he has a Beth space (her house or her work) bugged, which I mean circles back to how obsessive he is). There’s too many indicators that point to Rio being in the know. 

I love that he’s this super suave, ridiculously bougie crime boss and Beth’s a Junior League mom, three-time winning mini-muffin champion, and 1. he knows to not underestimate her and 2. these two idiots are locked in this stalemate. I stan. 

Additional points of note:

- Rio’s little grin at Beth’s celebratory dance of his murder. Sometimes I wonder if Rio still likes her, because he’s so exhausted by Beth this season. But, I think at that moment he unwittingly did. Despite his better judgment, he continues to be charmed by her. Oh, my boy. 

- Rio and Beth back in her kitchen!!!! 

- Rio is no longer waiting for her outside in the Mercedes, making Beth leave her groceries to rot on her front porch or wherever.  #Growth. Instead, he’s inside her house again, with her, for the first time this season. This time there’s so little furniture/stuff to look at it, but still so telling and I love that it percolates thoughts as to where her money is going. 

- I thought that Rio would return her shit? I really thought at some point he’d give it back to Beth. I didn’t realize he was expecting her to have bought (some) new things. But like, duh - that makes sense with how much of a nester Beth is. Of course, he would think she would spiral into buying things for the kids and repopulating the house. I wonder about his thought process as he moved through the space. I also APPRECIATE THAT HE WENT INTO HER BEDROOM all solito. Bitter, no doubt. But, also probably in his feelings about that day, about how Dean’s shit is back in that room. Ohhhh, my boy. 

- Everything’s so different, but I loved the call back to the pilot and their first meeting. I love the return of S1 hoodie. So many callbacks to a better time! I love it, but it also prompted me to have a lot of feelings at the state of things now. 

- That being said I loved how tired Rio was during in the car wash scene. Our guy (and our girl) are so tired and done with each other. Rio’s tired in this scene because he knows Beth so well and he knows she’s scheming against him, and he’s not here for it (little does he know...). 

- “Unkillable. Unhuman.” Hahaha. I don’t overall approve of the dehumanizing Rio, but I did find this funny. If we have to suffer this hitman storyline, I do love that he continues to resurrect on Beth. 

- Ruby and Annie finally hearing that there was a round two. 

- Beth’s comment about how Rio only drops by on her. 

- “Jilted lovers”

- “Crime of passion”

- “Your lover enjoys a two-hour omakase lunch every Friday. He never misses it.” LOVER!!! Foodie!Rio!!!! Bougie-af Rio. Like who has a two hour (solo?) lunch? I stan. 

- Rio plays tennis every Tuesday. 

- Rio SPEAKING SPANISH. You see - all I had to do was write that post and the gods of Good Girls heard me and made it happen. If only they would hear my other requests :’) 

- Beth throwing and breaking something at Rio’s establishment for once. Yes, queen.

- Rio being a little shit in the pool scene and then getting one-upped by Beth. Rio definitely thought her throwing the pool ball was hot. 

- Beth having won the state mini-muffin competition for the past three years. Honestly, she should be on GBBO. Can we get a crossover next season for levity? Rio can eat all of her practice bakes and they can work through their feelings week by week. At the end, when Beth makes it to the championship, he can be featured in her segment about her support network, jaja, perhaps with relationship ~unlabeled? 

Noel voice: “Beth is a brilliant mother of four. She certainly gets plenty of feedback regarding her bakes from her children. Beth is also an entrepreneur and enjoys a supportive working relationship with her business partner Rio. Since entering the competition, they have adjusted their work schedule so that they take off every Tuesday afternoon, so Beth can experiment with next week's recipes.” *shots of Beth baking in the Boland kitchen. Rio sampling an award-winning muffin* ahhh! Then, Rio (+ Ruby and Annie) can go to the picnic with all of their kids, and talk about how proud they are of her. 

I mean, yes? Okay, enough of this enormous GBBO digression. 

- “I was bored.” I love this admission. I think some folks in the fandom are hurt by this because it is in direct reference to her relationship with Rio. But, Beth wasn’t going to admit she grew huge, wild feelings for the crime boss to a stranger.  She can barely admit it to herself. She can’t admit it to the crime boss in question. Nor can she admit it to the people she is closest to in life. This admission that boredom/frustration/numbness are key motivators for Beth - I loved it. And Rio knows those motivators. He gets it. It calls back the “Did they suck your soul out yet?” comment from the end of Season 2. As much as Rio was trying to belittle her to Mick later in the episode, he still knows she’s smart, talented, and capable and he hates it/loves it. 

- Beth: “Story of my life [...] missed opportunities.” My heart hurts for her. 

There are definitely more moments that I enjoyed.  I overall liked this episode. But, obviously what hurts my heart the most is that Beth said the hitman could pull the trigger on Rio, twice. I don’t know what to do with that, in combination with the show clearly exploring how impactful Beth and Rio’s relationship was/is. 

On some level, there’s a juxtaposition of S1/S2!Brio to now!Brio, and the juxtaposition shows that Rio doesn’t mean enough to Beth right now to not kill him. That really hurts me personally. But, the discussions of what once was also brings up again how much there still is, festering, unresolved. 

The hitman saying that crimes of passion~ always yield to someone regretting it feels like foreshadowing. The point is: Rio isn’t going to die, he will not be killed off the show. So, Beth is changing her mind and I’m wondering what is going to do that so quickly? I’m assuming the hitman is going to put her on the schedule for the next week or the week after. Unfortunately, despite the potential for the reversal of the hitman storyline... soon? (jajaja, I mean who am I kidding? I thought it was going to be over episodes ago. It could have been strung out to Episode 16 with the way things are handled right now), I don’t think we’re going to get it this Sunday. 

Another point of hope - as others have voiced - is that Beth still can’t kill Rio herself. She already HAS shot Rio and it speaks to me that she can’t do it again. 

I feel like my head is spinning with Season 3 content. I’m excited to write in this new canon-verse over the hiatus. I’m just crossing my fingers that the hiatus isn’t FOREVER. 

CaraDin - keep your eyes on me - ch3, scene 1

@mandothon is happening right now, and tho i’m sure my entries aren’t going to count properly, i’m utilizing the awesome event they put together to try and get back to working on keep your eyes on me because prompts and deadlines are a beautiful thing for inspiration! i meant to write the entirety of ch3 for day 4, sparring, but writing is still hard af for me right now and i only managed to pull off the opening scene (which didn’t go as intended because i got inspired by day 3, barricade) and you know what? that’s fine, i’m going to accept the progress for what it is, progress

tl;dr - this snippet is from a WIP i have on Ao3, and is the first scene of what will be ch3, inspired by @mandothon‘s March 3rd prompt, barricade. when i finish all the scenes for the chapter i’ll post it up on Ao3 in its entirety with edits

keep your eyes on me, CaraDin modern!AU, mature rating

Most of last night’s mood has left her by the time Cara’s alarm wakes her up, but not all of it. There’s still a restless ache beneath her skin, an itch that begs to be scratched or beaten out. She lays there in the dark for long minutes, rolling it over and over in her mind, the unhappy weight of it, the bitter taste. Nowadays, she’s never certain if the feeling is a learned trait, or just a part of who she is, who she’ll always be. It means too much that Din seems happy enough to accept it, all the fucked up angles as well as the softer parts of her. 

She sits up, sheets pooling around her waist. Grabs her phone and scrubs at her face as she opens up her texts, Din right at the top. She taps out you going to the gym today? and then hesitates before she can send it.

That restless ache flares brighter, and Cara realizes it’s fear.

She really had gotten so good at not wanting things. And now, here, Din has given her everything she’s been denying herself: friendship, trust, unwavering support. It’s a lot. It’s too much. She wants to keep it so very, very badly.

But Cara’s living in an apartment that she’s leasing month-to-month because what she has here with Din and his kid and Captain Karga was only ever supposed to be a brief detour. A transient period in her life. Whenever she stops to think about how much better her life feels now, how happy she is, she gets...scared. Cara hates being scared, so she’s done her best to lock it all down and not think about any of it beyond the moment. If there’s fall out from that, she figured she’d just deal with it. She always does.

Only now she can’t stop thinking about it.

All those pictures on her phone, the easy way her and Din’s lives have become entangled, slotting together so neatly. How much of themselves they’ve given to each other. And now, here’s Cara, pressing at those seams, testing the give, trying to see if there’s space for more, and that realization is like a kick to the chest, staggering in its enormity. 

Because Cara knows better, damn it. 

She wishes she’d never taken off her shirt. She wishes that Greef had never told her Din was interested in her, that Din hadn’t dropped those hot dogs or been so obviously affected the other day at their desks. She wishes she’d never gotten to see what a flush of arousal looked like on the back of his neck, because now she can’t stop thinking about it, can’t stop wanting it, and--

That messes everything up, doesn’t it?

It might, which is fucking terrifying when Cara stops to think about it, which is why she fucking hasn’t been.

Because she...she wants it. Him. Everything Din’s given her, but also more, as much as she can take. She’s always been the greedy sort, so it was easier to stop wanting anything than to keep being disappointed when she couldn’t have it all. 

The thing is, with Din, she thinks that maybe she could.

Cara wishes she could just go up to Din and say “Hey, I think I might be falling kind of in love with you? And also I know I’m a detective and everything but I would definitely murder someone to protect your kid, just sayin’. Mind if I kiss you?” but she can’t. There’s no way in fuck she can do it, not yet. Even knowing Din might say yes, even knowing how badly she wants him to say yes, it--

Well, it makes it harder, actually. 

She doesn’t like being vulnerable. She doesn’t like taking risks with her heart. She doesn’t want to fuck everything up and go back to having nothing again. 

It’s terrifying having something to lose.

“Fuck,” she mutters, blinking down at her phone, which has gone dark in her hand. It’s early, she hasn’t had any coffee, and she’s just up and admitted to herself exactly what she’s been avoiding thinking about, entirely by accident. She blames the half-asleep state. Fucking filthy thoughts creeping in while her defenses are lowered, laying bare exactly why she’s been going about this in such a fucked up way. Groaning, she pulls her legs up and presses her forehead tight against the hard curve of her kneecaps. 

This is all so stupid. And what’s worse, she’s going to just keep on going about as she has been, because knowing what she’s doing and why isn’t going to miraculously make the fear go away. 

She doesn’t know how to trust that Din actually wants her.

But then her phone vibrates in her hand, lighting up with a text from Din. Cara leans against her bent legs and opens it up, reading: Headed early to the gym. See you there? and just--

Fuck.

Fucking fuck, this soft asshole is going to be the end of her. Because Din doesn’t go to the gym this early, usually spending the time with his kid before dropping him off at daycare or with Kuiil. But Cara does, especially when she gets caught up in a mood like last night. Which Din has apparently noted, and taken into consideration.

So, she’s got two options, she figures, in dealing with this. One, she could tell him no; start putting distance up, begin building a barricade around her heart so that if Din doesn’t want her the way she wants him to, it won’t matter, it won’t hurt because she’ll never put herself into a position where she can be hurt. Or...

Cara takes a deep breath and deletes her earlier text, going with option two, instead. you know me so well, see you in 20?

Sounds good. Prepare to get your ass handed to you, Dune.

in your fucking dreams, she replies, kicking off her sheets, already grinning.

Because fine, yes, all right. Cara can trust that Din wants her in his life, at least, even if she can’t quite trust in what capacity. He cares. Cara matters to him. And Cara--

As always, Cara wants too many things.

For once, she’s not going to let fear keep her from trying to get them.

---

Little Bird

A/N: Hello hello, fam, here’s my response to the new challenge posed by Challenge! I did change one of the prompts ever so slightly as in I changed one word, so I hope you don’t mind. All the prompts are listed below and bolded in the writing. Anyways, I was soft af for this, so I hope you’ll all enjoy!

Pairing: Roger Taylor x Reader

Word Count: 5.3k

Warnings: None

MASTERLIST

3. He’s been gone for quite a while30. Turn that sh*t off!!!!

34. Remember when you were a kid and you ______ (insert memory)

35. I’ll just tell your mom on you.

36. I thought you were nice.

65. We’ll talk later.

76. I think you need stitches

81. Excuse me for falling in love with you.

87.  You gave me a black eye.

88. Stop looking at me like that, weirdo.

90. Birds can’t fly without wings.

91. Sorry I’m protective over the things I love.

114. No, you’re MY bitch.

126. I’m a lucky girl. I’ll admit that.

149. We started with one and now we have seven. You have no chill.

150.  if you loved me so much, why did you do it?

Wet, hot tears streamed down her face as Y/N held the phone’s receiver close to her ear, listening, but not comprehending to what Roger was saying. She heard his voice, but it all seemed so distant. It was almost like she was in those Peanuts Comics where all the kids heard adults as incomprehensible mumbling and sounds.

She had a feeling it would him when the phone rang and debated not answering, but a larger driving force had told her to pick it up. The call had been like a dagger in her heart, and each word, each lie, twisted the dagger a little more. Bit by little bit she felt her stomach knot up as her heart shattered into a million little pieces. She wasn’t sure if she would ever get over this.

“Y/N? My love, are you still there? Please tell me you’re still there,” Roger’s voice was quiet and desperate. He wanted nothing more than to explain everything to her, but he know how things seemed. He knew she had every reason to hate him. Hearing her sniffle, he let ever so slightly better knowing she was still on the line and he wasn’t just talking to thin air, “love-”

“If you loved me so much, why did you do it?” her voice sounded dry and harsh from all the crying she had been doing. They were the first real words she had uttered in hours. She had found herself frozen with an overwhelming sense of grief and fear, which had caused her to break down crying in the kitchen, sinking to the floor where she had remained for hours, “why did you say all those things? How could you say all those things?”

“My love-”

“Don’t call me that right now. If you loved me, you’d be here right now with me,” she cut him off harshly, reaching up to wipe her tears away. There was something about hearing his voice that had brought back the bitterness and the anger she had been trying to repress, “I don’t know if I want to speak to you right now. I don’t know if I can.”

“Y/N, please don’t hang up the phone,” he was begging her at this point. It was the first time in the last two weeks that she had actually spoken to him, or even given  him the time of day.

Before then, every time he had called, she had usually hung up the phone, or if he had showed up she refused to answer the door or had Brian do his duties as an older brother and tell Roger to go away. Every single day had been slow and agonizing, causing him to run over their last fight over and over again. She had down the same thing, hoping that somehow it had all been a nightmare, some sort of misunderstanding. But the reality was very different, and very real.

“And just why not?” she asked, resting her forehead against the wall, trying to calm herself down. Added stress wasn’t going to help anything right now, “you made it very clear that you didn’t want -”

“I’m sorry,” he blurted out, not letting her get the words out so he wouldn’t have to hear them again. If he didn’t hear them, they weren’t real, “Y/N, I’m so, so sorry. I shouldn’t have said what I did. I wasn’t thinking clearly, I was panicking and and surprised and I regret everything I said. I didn’t mean it. I don’t mean it now. None of those words were ever true.”

“You were panicked?” she scoffed at him, “you were surprised? How do you think I feel? I went to doctor thinking I was sick, but no - I’m pregnant! I’m the one that’s pregnant with your baby, our baby. I’m the one that’s carrying the baby you said you don’t want! Did you ever stop to think about that? How do you think this feels for me? I thought the man I love would have been supportive, but I was so, so wrong about that.”

“Y/N, I’m so-”

“Save it, Roger,” she internally groaned at the sound of the front door opening. Of course Brian would be coming home right now. He had always seemed to have the worst sense in timing, “we’re not doing this right now. Come to me once you’ve decided how you really feel. My heart can’t take all of this.”

“Y/N-” was all she heard as she slammed the receiver back onto its base. She wiped the remainder of her tears away, drying her face with the back of her hands hastily so Brian wouldn’t be able to see. He tended to have a hawk eye for these types of things.

“Hey, you’re home and up! Are you feeling better?” Brian asked as he came into the kitchen, a smile on his face as his curls bobbed up and down. He noticed her standing her there with the most dismal of looks on her face, cheeks still splotched red, “what’s going on? Y/N?”

“I-I,” she leaned against the counter and held her face in her hands, trying to keep her composure and not have a complete breakdown in front of her him. She looked at him, trying to find a way to put her heartbreak into words. Instead, nothing came out and she just stared wordlessly at him. She opened and closed her mouth a few times, looking like a fish out of water.

“Did something else happen with Roger?” he walked over to her, put his hands on his hips, wishing she would just tell what was going on. As far as he was aware, she and Roger had some sort of fight, but over what  he didn’t know. She had completely clammed up and tended to avoid him recently, “Y/N? What happened with him? He’s been gone for quite a while now. It’s been what...a couple of weeks? I don’t mean to pry, but obviously something is up. Why won’t you tell me, Y/N? It’s just me.”

She looked in his eyes, scared to tell him the truth, scared of his reaction. All she saw was a concerned older brother looking at his scared little sister. Letting out a long breath, she hung her head for a long moment before finally confessing, “I’m pregnant.”

“You’re what?” Brian had heard what she said, but couldn’t process it for some reason. The words hung thickly in the air as the two of them stared at each other wordlessly. As realization dawned on him, his normally soft expression into confusion and anger as he ran a hand through his curls. Letting out a long breath he quietly repeated, “pregnant? Is it Roger’s?”

“Obviously,” she didn’t know how she was hoping he’d react, but somehow his lack of response stung a little bit, “you know what, you don’t need to say anything, Bri. We’ll talk later.”

“Is this why...Roger hasn’t been around?” he let out a breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding. His best friend and his little sister having a baby. What a wild reality this was turning out to be, “what did he say? I-I thought you two were doing well? We all thought you were heading towards a wedding more than a breakup.”

“So did I,” she gave him a tight lipped smile, drumming her fingers along the top of the kitchen counter. The room was silent, almost too much so as every little sound was punctuated and the heaviness in the air never seemed to wane. She looked over at her brother who seemed to be lost in his own world, his eyes glossed over.

Knowing him he was probably running through all the different outcomes for this precarious situation, “but I was wrong I guess. I’m still working on taking this all in...and figuring out what I’m going to do. It looks like I’ll be doing this solo, but I will make it work. I don’t expect your support Bri, I know this is a shock.”

“Y/N-”

“It’s fine, Bri, really,” she walked over to him and put her hand on his shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. She noticed how he seemed to freeze under her touch - she wished he was the one comforting her, but somehow the tables were turned. Standing up on her tiptoes, she pressed his a kiss to cheek, “I’m going to have a lie down for a little bit, okay?”

“Okay,” was all he managed to get out as she left the room. He listened to her retreating footsteps before her door closed sharply. Brian sighed, still reeling from the revelation and trying to process everything. He wanted to be mad at Roger, to kill him for doing this to his baby sister.

He hadn’t been a huge fan of the idea of Roger asking her out in the first place, but once he saw them together, he had wondered why he had even hesitated to support them in the first place. Now, he was back to his initial feelings - how could Roger break her heart like this? It took two to tango after all, no one gets pregnant by themselves.

“Y/N?” Brian’s voice softly called out to her as he followed with a soft knock on her bedroom door. She contemplated pretending she was still asleep, but decided against it. She didn’t want to be alone any longer - the silence was crippling and her thoughts were heading into all kinds of areas she didn’t want to investigate just yet. He seemed to notice her hesitation, “I got you something. It’s not much but I think you’ll like it.”

“The door’s unlocked, Bri,” she called out to him, rolling over to face the door. He opened the door slowly, poking his head in and giving her a tentative smile. She returned the gesture and made a motion to tell him to come in. He nodded before stepping in, two cartons of ice cream and spoons in his arms.

Her heart melted a little bit at the sweet gesture - this had been how he cheered up since they were children. He would always go out and fetch her favorite flavors and they would eat in silence, or chatte away between bites, by the time they had gotten down to the last bits, their predicament had usually been solved.

“I realize this probably won’t help much,” he admitted as he walked over to her, handing her a spoon and carton, as she sat up. He climbed into the bed, sitting them next to her and opening his own container, “but I hope this helps a little bit. I love you, Y/N, and I’ll be here to support you, with whatever decision you make.”

“Thank you, Bri,” she whispered, leaving overwhelmed as she dug in for her first bite. Knowing she had at least one person on her side already made her feel tremendously better, “I know I can always count on you. You’re the best brother anyone can ever have.”

“I’m just looking out for you, Y/N. It’s my job as your brother, and your friend,” he clinked his spoon against hers, and for the first time in what felt like ages, a smile appeared on her face. The hours upon hours of crying and feeling sorry for herself suddenly felt a bunch of wasted time. She should have just told him in the first place.

“I’m a lucky girl. I’ll admit that,” she reassured him, nudging his long leg with one of her own. She knew she had gotten very lucky with both the family she had and the people she had in her every day life, but at the end of the day, it was always those four boys that made her life so much better. Until recently that was, “Bri...I’m scared. So scared. I mean, this is a baby. Another human life I’m bringing into this world.”

“I’d say I know how you feel but I can’t even imagine what you’re going through right now. But I can assure you, it will be okay. I promise you because we will be right by your side,” he put his free around her shoulders and held her close, “I’m sorry if I seemed mad earlier. I wasn’t...it was just surprising. I just want what’s best for you...and Roger. I feel like I need to protect you, you know?”

“Remember when you were a kid and you covered for me when I broke mum’s nice china?” she asked suddenly and Brian burst out into laughter at the memory. Their mum had been beyond livid when she had come home and found glass all over the the dining room, her cabinet and good dishes in a thousand little pieces, “I was so scared then. I thought she would kill me. Especially since she had told me a million times not to play footie in the house anymore.”

“You were crying so badly, I thought you’d dry and shrivel up from all those tears,” he remembered her little face all red, eyes crusted up with dried tears as she looked at the mess she had made. When he had heard a huge crash and commotion from downstairs, he had almost dropped his book in shock at the sound, but quietly bounded down the stairs to see what had happened. There he saw little Y/N, looking around sadly, tears streaming down her face, “I couldn’t stand to see you cry so much. You were so little and scared-”

“Just like now?” she joked, giving him a fond look. They had quickly tried to clean up as much of the mess as possible, but their mother had walked home in the midst of it all, livid as she demanded answers. Y/N was about to tell her the truth, but Brian had stepped in front of her and immediately taken the blame, making up an elaborate story which resulted in him somehow breaking everything. He had been grounded for what seemed like ages after that, but he was never mad at Y/N, although she kept trying to make it up to him.

“Just like now,” he confirmed, “we’ll get through it.”

“I thought you were nice, I thought you were so nice. I always knew you were the best,” she admitted, pausing to take a bite of her ice cream, savoring the sweetness on her tongue. Sighing, she dipped the spoon back into the container, “still saving my skin all these years later. You know, I could just tell your mum on you about all those things you’ve done for me. Maybe then she’d kill me and save me any harsh decision making.”

“She’s your mum too you know, and you might be being a little over dramatic. It’s not the end of the world,” he laughed at her, nudging her gently in the side. Y/N opened her mouth to say something else, but they were quickly interrupted by the sound of knocking on the front door, “were we expecting company?”

“No,” she raised her eyebrow, shrugging her shoulder lightly. She wondered who it could, but whoever it was, she was annoyed with them for interrupting their talk, “I can go and see who it is. Probably just a solicitor.”

“It’s okay,” he said, putting his almost empty container on her nightstand. He swung his long legs of the bed, sighing as he went to check to see whoever was pounding increasingly rapidly. The siblings exchanged an annoyed glance as he shouted, “hold on, I’m coming!”

Y/N shoveled a few more spoonfuls into her mouth, trying to listen in and see who it was. Not able to hear much, she ate the last bite of her ice cream, and decided to tiptoe into in the kitchen and dispose of her trash. That way she’d be able to sneak a peek and see who their intruder was.

Opening the door quietly, she padded her way down the hall and into the kitchen her ear trained towards the front door.

“Let me speak to her, please, Bri. I need to explain-” her heart stopped at the sound of Roger’s voice. Part of her was relieved that it was him, but part of her was scared. She wasn’t sure if she was ready to see him again. The last time had been painful, the look in his bright ocean eyes had hurt her so much.

“Roger, I don’t know if you should be here right now. I don’t know if she’s ready to speak to you,” there was a gentleness to his voice, but his tone was still firm. He was playing the role of protective older brother quite well, “she’s really broken up about everything.”

“Bri, this is important!” she heard him almost shout, his own voice hoarse and dry. She knew he must have been crying to you. She poked her head out of the kitchen and saw Brian barely holding the door open, with Roger desperately trying to get in, a foot in the doorway so the door couldn’t be shut completely, “I need to talk to her, I need to explain everything to her-”

“Watch it, Rog. Look, I’m sorry I’m protective over the things I love, but right now, I need to protect her. I love you too, but this isn’t happening right now,” with that, Brian tried to push the door closed, but Roger wasn’t having it. He pushed his body against the door and shoved his way in, slamming the door behind him so Brian couldn’t throw him out.

The two men were standing face to face, their chests rising and falling rapidly as they started at each other. Before Y/N could interrupt them or before she could process but was going on, Brian swung his arm back before landing a punch straight on Roger’s face. Roger staggered back, a hand immediately flying to his face, as he clutched his nose and eye.

“You gave me a black eye,” Roger said in a shocked tone as he felt his face start tingling. He knew it would be a mess, but as he discovered that there were a few drops of blood run down his face. He had never known Brian to actually hit anyone, but the tall, willowy guitarist sure knew how to pack a punch, the rings on his hand not helping anything. His face would be sore for a while, he knew that much, “what the hell, Bri!?”

Not able to stand it any longer, Y/N hurried down the hall over to the men who were surprised by her sudden appearance. Glaring at Brian, she reached over and held Roger’s face in her hands, assessing the damage he had done. The skin below his left eye was split and everything was already bruising.

“Knock that shit off!” Y/N almost shouted at Brian, hoping neither of them would have another go at each other. She didn’t need to have to take either of them to the hospital. Again. Like she had on several other occasions because they just couldn’t keep their mouths shut.

“Y/N, you weren’t-”

“Brian, why did you do this?!” she hissed at him, jabbing a finger in his chest, “there was no reason to, you fool. He’s an idiot surely, but a punch wasn’t warranted.”

“I was just trying to protect you,” Brian said meekly, already regretting his actions. His hand was aching but he knew it would be nothing compared to Roger’s face. She grabbed Roger’s hand and started pulling him towards the bathroom to clean him up, “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it how it seemed…”

“Bri,” the two of them sighed at the same time. Roger wanted to be mad, and he was to a certain extent, but he understood where he was coming from. He hated himself just as much as Brian had in that moment.

Opening the door and ushering Roger inside, Y/N sat him down on the edge the of tub and busied herself getting a washcloth wet with warm water. She grabbed the antiseptic from the medicine cabinet, and swiped some on a cotton pad, before getting on her knees so she was eye level with him.

He watched her work wordlessly, stunned by her kindness and gentle touch even though she was furious with him. He wouldn’t have blamed her if she too just punched him in the face, he did deserve it after all.

Taking his face in her hands, she gently dabbed at the cut, trying to be easy on it. It wasn’t terrible, but it probably stung under the alcohol, but Roger didn’t even flinch in the slightest. Touching the puffy skin lightly with the washcloth to get rid of all the blood, she caught his eye and shook her head gently, “oh my love, I think you need stitches. It doesn’t look terrible, but if you want to heal properly, we’ll need a doctor to look at it.”

She met his eyes, and her heart stopped for a moment. They were the same eyes, the same bright expression, that she had fallen in love with. The same eyes she hoped their child would have. She touched the corner of his mouth lightly, noticed that his lips were dry and chapped, and looked like he had been nervously picking at them. He opened his mouth to speak and quietly whispered, “I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

“For what?” she asked, even though she knew the answer. She wanted to hear it from him. She wanted to know that he was going to be serious about discussing their situation.

“Everything,” he whispered as Y/N let go out of his face. She sat down the floor and leaned against the wall, the two of them staring at each other. The silence wasn’t as awkward as she expected, the air filled with a lot of unspoken words flowing between the two of them, “I don’t even know how to begin to describe how sorry I am for everything I said.”

“My mum used to tell us all sorts of old proverbs and silly sayings when I was a kid. Bri always took them to heart and said we could learn a lot from them. I never gave them much thought,” she ran a hand through her hair, and staring at the ceiling. She hoped that keeping her gaze trained upwards would prevent any tears from falling, “Birds can’t fly without wings. That was one of her favorites. I never understood what it was meant until these last few weeks. I know this is hard for both of us, but I can’t do this without you, Rog. This little bird can’t fly without her wings, without you. But if you don’t want to do this - then I’ll have to learn to fly without you.”

“You don’t have to do this on your own, love. I’m going to be with you every step of the way,” he hoisted him off the edge of the tub and sat down right in front of her so they were facing each other, “I’ll support every decision you make. I love you more than you know. And our baby.”

“But I thought you said...you didn’t want it,” she responded quietly, biting on her bottom lip nervously, “you said we were too young and not ready.”

“I’ve thought about those words every single day since then and I regret it every single one of them,” he told her, reaching over and touching her face gently. He ran a thumb over her cheek gently, wiping at the few tears that had welled up, “I should never have said them. I know this doesn’t excuse any of it, or what I put you through, but I’m sorry. I panicked and was scared -  the idea of a baby is terrifying. I’m still scared too. So scared of everything that could happen to the baby and to you. But I want to do this. With you and only you.”

“Y-you want to have this baby?” her hand instinctively went to her stomach where there was still no sign of the child she was carrying. Although only about ten weeks into her pregnancy, she already felt protective over their baby, “do you mean it? Please don’t just tell me what you think I want to hear. I don’t want you to say yes and then we have this child and you hate me forever.”

“Every word is the truth, my love,” he scooted closer to her, so there was only a few inches of distance from them, “there is no one I’d rather have a child with. I want to marry you one day, I want to have a big house and fill it with our children. I want it all with you. I know I’ve been a shit boyfriend lately, and you absolutely have no reason to forgive me, but I hope you do.”

“I was so angry with you, Rog. I came to you so scared and worried, and then you flipped out and basically told me you didn’t want a child and you didn’t know how to feel. I thought I was going to lose you. I was angry,” she told him. A lot of tears and sadness had been over how angry she was with him, but a lot of them were due to the sheer fact that she didn’t want to lose him, or their child. She wanted it all - with him, “everything I’ve ever wanted was with you. You’re my endgame, Rog, you always have been.”

Roger thought his face might crack with the size of the smile that was on his face as he watched her. She always exuded such elegance and grace even in the most difficult situations. It was one of the many things he loved about her. And her sweet words? Those were just the icing on top.

“What?” she couldn’t hold back her giggle as he watched her silently. She reached over and tugged on a strand of his hair gently, “stop looking at me like that, weirdo. Do I have something on my face?”

“Geeze, excuse me for falling in love with you,” he teased her. He leaned forward so his face was mere inches from hers. She smiled at him, his sweet, warm breath fanning over her face, “the only thing on your face is a beauty unlike any other. The sweetest lips, perfect for kissing, the warmest and kindest eyes, cutest nose, and pinkest, prettiest cheeks. I hope our son or daughter will look just like you.”

Her face lit up at his words, it was like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She was still terrified of the idea of having a child, but she was slowly starting to feel better, “I hope they’ll look like you. With those pretty eyes and that soft face.”

“Either way, our baby will be beautiful,” he whispered, nuzzling her nose with hers, their lips mere centimeters apart. She took the opportunity and leaned her head forward, pressing her soft lips against his rough ones slowly. He kissed her back, not realizing how much he had missed the feel of her kisses, always so sweet, soft, and perfect. He pulled back and rested his forehead against hers, “I love you, Y/N. Truly. I’m so sorry for everything I did and said. Please, please, please say you forgive me?”

“I forgive you,” she said, touching the soft, bruised skin of his face ever so lightly, “just talk to me next time. We can work anything out if we do it together. We’re better together.”

“I know. I’m sorry,” he said, pecking her lips quickly, “I won’t do it ever again, pretty girl. I thought I lost you for those two weeks.Those were the worst weeks of my life. I don’t ever want to feel like that again.”

“I see you’ve learned a very important lesson,” she said quietly, beaming at him, “just know, you owe me after this one….no, you’re MY bitch now. I like the sound of that.”

“Hey, hey, you’re getting a little ahead of yourself now,” he chuckled in between kisses, “I am whipped for you though. But I think everyone’s already aware of that.”

“One more thing,” she said, peppering some kisses across his face, the two of them getting more insistent and hurried with their lips and soft touches. It had been too long since they had gotten to touch and taste each other. Two weeks was two weeks too long.

“Hmm?”

“You need to slow down with getting punched,” she said as he let a hand trail down her jaw and to her neck, ghosting lightly over her collarbones, “We started with one and now we have seven. You have no chill. Seven hospital visits in two years for punches must be a new record. You need to learn a sense of self preservation.”

“It’s always over you, love, I can’t have anyone messing with you. I need to protect you,” he whispered, pulling back and letting a hand ghost over her jaw gently, “I need to protect you and now our baby too.”

“You’re such a sap, Rog,” she was struggling to hold back her tears. She wasn’t sure if it was just her normal soft nature, the pregnancy hormones, or the combination of the two that had set her off. He let his hand trail down her body, before gently letting it rest on her stomach. The idea that in a few short months her belly would be large and round with his child made him so nervous, but also more elated than he could describe, “but god, I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Y/N,” he whispered against her lips, “I love more than all the silly space dust that Brian always rambles on about. More than the all the stars in the night sky.”

“Roger,” she breathed, their kisses turning salty with their combined tears. He reached down and lifted her shirt up, exposing her still flat stomach. Pulling away from her face, he leaned down and pressed a few light kisses to her exposed bare skin. It was such a sweet, intimate gesture, such that it caused her to cry harder, basically leading to her becoming a sniffling mess.

“I will never do anything to hurt you,” he whispered quietly to her stomach. He put his hands on her hips lightly tracing shapes all over it, “I already love you so much. And your mumma. I love her too. I’ll always protect the two of you. I’m not always the best man or smartest man, and I’ve made your mumma cry a few times more than I should have, but I can promise you that much. I will always be here for you.”

“I’m already soft, but if you keep you being so sweet while I’m pregnant, I’ll never to do anything but cry,” she said as she pulled him up so he was face to face with her. She reached over and used her thumb to wipe her tears away, his gaze never wavering from hers, “Promise me you’ll always love me?”

“Always,” he nodded fervently, taking her hand in his and pressing a kiss to her palm, “always and forever my little bird.”

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I’ll Dance and I’ll Dream (Okoye X Fem!Reader)

Author: Crystalline / @butcanijustnot

Fandom: Marvel x reader, Black Panther x reader.

Tagging: @idontgiveaflyinggrayson69 Have some garbage I briefly showed you on Snapchat.

Summary: Okoye needs to learn how to dance, and trust someone again. You’re willing to teach both.

Word Count: 1660, roughly.

Warnings: Gay AF.

Also again I don’t speak Xhosa so I used a translator for the Xhosa parts. If you read it and it’s wrong, please let me know so I can change it.

“Y/N!” Okoye yelled, storming into the training area. “Where are you?” She sounded slightly agitated, a far cry from her usually collected dementor. Instantly, you stopped your training and racked your brain to think of what you could have done to upset her. Nothing came to mind. You were innocent until she proved you guilty.

“Over here.” You yelled, emerging from behind a punching bag as you spun the wraps off of your hands and threw them in the vague direction of your bag. You noticed her expression wasn’t angry, but instead registering an emotion you’d never seen her wear before. Part of you felt reassured, but the rest of you was concerned. “Are you alright?” You asked, moving towards her.

Okoye was good at putting up walls and guarding her thoughts and emotions. She had to be in her line of work, and it only got harder after her marriage to W’Kabi met an unfortunate end. She was left feeling like her entire life was made up of walls too high for anyone to see over, much less scale. Eventually she stopped trying to connect with anyone at all.

Then you came along, with your sweet smile and nimble feet. You took her walls, tall and fearsome as mountains and hopped them like they were nothing, and emerged on the other side unscathed. Every tactic Okoye had to scare people off rolled right past you, and almost against her will, Okoye began to feel for you.

You were by every count Okoye’s opposite, not at all the woman she would usually fall for. You could be reckless and brash. Your self-preservation skills rivalled Shuri herself, which is to say, severely lacking. Your fighting style was crazy and over the top compared to her refined techniques, compensating for your height by seemingly confusing your enemies and then beating them into the dirt. Okoye found it strange but couldn’t deny its effectiveness. You were kind but crazy, interesting to talk to but tended to be off in your own world most of the time. You were a ball of crazy contradictory material.

So why couldn’t Okoye get you out of her head?

“Yes, I’m fine. It’s just…” Her eyes flickered away from you as you got closer, before resettling. “I’m heading out on a mission tomorrow and I need to ask you a favour.” She explained, and you realised that this emotion was indignity. She needed your help. You placed your hand on her arm to reassure her, and Okoye almost felt herself lean into the touch.

You nodded. “Of course, Okoye, anything you need.”

Okoye was quiet for a minute. “I need to learn how to dance.” She finally spat out.

Your brain took a second to process the request, and then you were certain you had misheard her. “Dance?” You repeated. Okoye was so beautiful and gloriously refined that you just assumed she would know how to do all that fancy stuff. Was that why she was so worried about asking?

“Specifically Waltzing, I never learned. I know they teach War-dogs those sorts of things, so I thought perhaps you could show me how.” She explained.

“I mean of course I can, but why are you asking me? That sounds like the kind of thing Nakia would be really good at.” You asked her, thinking back to your time at the War Dog training program. Nakia had topped every single class and somehow made it look effortless, something you definitely weren’t still bitter about years later.

“I asked, but she’s busy with royal duties.” Okoye lied. She didn’t even think about asking Nakia. She wanted to learn from you.

“What about Princess Shuri?” You prompted further.

“She tried to teach me how to breakdance. Not what I am looking for.”

You snorted, the mental image of Okoye breakdancing forever imprinted in your brain now. No doubt she’d be fantastic at it. “Well in that case, I’d be honoured to dance with you. We can do it over here on the mats.” You said with a smile, gesturing to the wrestling area as you walked.

“Thank you.” She whispered, following you over onto the padded floors.

You were quiet for a second as you thought of the best was to show Okoye. You’d never taught anyone to dance before, but the most effective way to teach someone in a night would be a dance with them, a thought that wasn’t unwelcome to you. You’d take any chance to be close with the general.

“Okay, the first step is put down the spear.” You said, giggling to yourself as Okoye looked at it in her hand apprehensively. “You can put it over there with my things, so it’s still close enough for comfort.” You paused, walking to the centre of the mats. “Why do you need to learn to dance? I know it’s for a mission, but what sort of mission would require that?”

“You are the Wardog in the room. Surely you’ve had missions of your own that required you to dance.” Okoye said, subtly avoiding the question as she laid her weapon down and made her way back towards you.

“Pole dancing, yes. Waltzing, not so much.” You lamented, missing the slight blush that crept up onto Okoye’s cheeks and the way she swallowed awkwardly when you said that. “It’s a ye olde skill and not many people use it, which brings me back to my original question.”

Okoye sighed as you took her hands and moved her so that you two were parallel, facing towards each other. “T’Challa and I have to go to a fancy gala run by a vibranium dealer. I need to snare a dance with him so that I can attach a tracking device to the back of his collar, but if I can’t dance a full song with him, it’ll tip him off that I don’t belong there, so best that I learn how.”

“I see.” You hummed, thinking. “So, I should lead, then.” She nodded, and you continued. “Take your right hand in my left, and put your left arm around my shoulders. The leader, that’s me, puts their arm around your back, on your lower waist. It’s a very close dance.” In position, your bodies were pressed together and you could practically feel her pulse, much faster than you would have expected it to be. “Are you alright with this?” You asked.

“Yes, this is fine.”

“Good. Let me know if that changes, I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable. Now, you put your feet here and here.” You explained, showing her with your own feet.

She narrowed her eyes at the ground as she got into the correct position. “What if I stand on your foot?” She whispered softly.

“Oh, I’ll have a personal vendetta against you for the rest of our lives.” You said, your voice thick with sarcasm as you rolled your eyes. “You wouldn’t be the first, Okoye, or the last. It’s okay.”

“I’m an awful dancer.” She admitted, grimacing at her own legs.

“Maybe you’ve just never had the right partner.” You rationalised, hating the way that she was putting herself down. You couldn’t help but think of her as perfect, and you were disappointed she didn’t see things the same way.

Her eyes glassed over, and she stared blankly into the distance over your shoulder. “I thought that I had,” She hummed, thinking back to her old relationship. “but I was wrong.”

You almost broke the position to envelope her in a hug, but you settled for rubbed her back with you free hand. “I’m sorry, Okoye. None of that was your fault. He’s an idiot for leaving you.”

“Technically, I left him.” She corrected with a sad smile.

You nodded. “I would have done the same. He didn’t deserve you.”

“Thank you. You’re very kind.”

The look the two of you shared was just a second too long to be platonic, before you shook your head and cleared your throat.  

“Anyway, I’ve got to teach you. Okay you take a step diagonally right, as I take a step back.” You explained, helping her as she attempted the movement. “That’s it, beautiful. Now, I’m going to move forward and turn, and you move to the left and turn too.” You continued to run through the steps, again and again and again, until the steps were flowing naturally. You were counting out the time under your breath as the two of you moved in sync. Okoye did well, moving fluidly with the expected grace of a fighter.

“There we go. Look at you. What are you talking about? You’re a natural.”

“Well maybe I finally found the right partner.” She said with a smirk.

You opened your mouth to respond but no sound came out. She noticed this and she paused for a minutes. You worried perhaps you had insulted her by not saying anything back. Meanwhile, Okoye was trying to sike herself.

Take the leap, Okoye. For Basts sake, just go for it!

“Would you go out with me?”

Your eyes widened and your mouth fell open. You swallowed, trying to convinced yourself that this was real life and one of the most beautiful women on earth was asking you out. “Go out with you? Like, on a date?” You asked, your voice quivering.

She nodded, looking refined and confident and so freaking beautiful. “Yes. I’ll take you dancing. Proper Wakandan dancing.”

“I’d love too.” You said quickly, the biggest smile breaking out on you face. “That sounds wonderful.”

She smiled, and your heart nearly melted in your chest. Slowly and tentatively, you leant forward and brushed your lips together in a simple soft kiss. You sigh happily and rest your forehead against hers, shutting your eyes and enjoying the feeling of her being close. Its all you’ve wanted since you met her.

“General Okoye?” Someone behind you called out. You turned and saw a Dora standing behind to the side of the mats, eyes set on the two of you and the slight hint of a smirk ghosting her lips. You realised how compromising your position was, pressed close to her leader, and you tried to pull away, but Okoye’s grip on your hand and shoulder turned to iron, keeping you close. Her eyes narrowed slightly at the offending Dora but forced a smile.

“Yes, Ayo, what is it?” Okoye asked.

“T’Challa wants to meet with you to go over the mission plans. He requests your presence in the throne room at your earliest convenience.”

Okoye sighed. “Alright. Let him know I’ll be there in a minute. Dismissed.” She said authoritatively. Ayo saluted Okoye before turning and marching from the room. She turned her attention back to you, closing her eyes, taking a deep sigh and resting her head on your shoulder. She just wanted to stay in this moment a minute, even a second longer, but alas, duty calls.

“But I suppose we’ll have to postpone that date until you come back.” You lightly chuckled. She murmured in agreement and finally, slowly, pulled away from you, grabbing her spear from the pile of your things. “Be safe, entle.” You bid her as she reached the doorway.

“I’ll be back before you know it.” She promised.

“And I’ll be right here waiting for you.”

Unpopular Opinion: many things been said against Romione shippers/Fic demonizing Lavender to make Hermione look better But I haven't seen as much complaining about the demonizing of Dean Thomas in Hinny fics set in HBP and afterwards. I lost count how many times I have recently (and by popular Hinny authors!) read fics where Dean was demanding,pushing and trying to pressure poor Ginny into having sex/was bad at it and then being a petty and bitter towards Harry. it reeks of racism. 1/2

2/2 I mean I feel it's partly JKR fault because she went out of her way to make both Michael Corner & Dean Thomas ''horrible boyfriends' (which in Dean case is BS the only thing in canon showing friction is Dean 'pushing' Ginny through the portrait and that can be just as much about Ginny trying to be a 'strong independent woman who needs no man') but if Lavender can get sympathy in fic so should Dean, who we've seen more in the books and who came across as good decent guy.

PS, also getting tired of the biphobia i've seen in some corner of the Seamus & Pavender fandom about how Seamus-Dean-Lavender-Parvati were really gay/lesbian all along and their m/f relationship was fake. Because of apparently bisexuals didn't exist until now... [eyeroll]

I need my demarcation line.

‘ello Nonnie. Fancy a cuppa?

I guess I’ve not been reading much lately over on the other side of my Canon ship (aka Harry & Ginny) to have come across any Dean discourse much anything that could be construed as demonization. (Then again, I have been busy so...)

Damn this got long quickly. Under a cutline just out of necessity.

If I am hearing you correctly, the fic writers are choosing to paint Dean in a negative light to emphasize why Ginny would want to break it off with him before getting with Harry. I must have my head in a hole because the only one I’ve read involving Dean in the last few months was the lovely one from @floreatcastellumposts and that was how Dean and Harry interacted in DH at Shell Cottage. (I admit I do have some appreciation for the subtle angst and how troubled Harry is and how few people he trusts in his life. Been there, done that, binned the t-shirt.)

I’ll also agree completely how HBP altered the characters considerably to make the plot work, including Dean, who up ‘til they was either a wallflower or a background character turn into a problematic male character (and also one of the few Men of Color in the entire series which I find more troubling but I digress.) because of the forcing the plot to have Ginny make him redundant before getting with Harry.

Fic writers can take those small nuggets of information and expand the ideas for such (even if I find it personally squicky AF to have a 16-year-old and Under 16 having those physical relations. *shudder* (Heck, I have problems writing any Linny Under 18 fic that involves anything more than hand holding - but then that’s my Ace showing there.) but to take it to such an extreme and petty expansion of idea is, well, not my cup of tea at all. (There’s plenty I will nope right out of and walk away without commenting if there is a tag I see that will make me shudder or get squicked.) But him being petty and sullen and bitter that he did (in those fics) have s* with Ginny and was bad at it?

I wish the trope of “immediate sex god” would die a thousand papercut deaths because most guys at 16-19 can barely control themselves, much less think of the other person to make the experience a memorable one. (And let’s expand that to 15-95 but I digress.) There’s a reason it’s called wham/bam/thank you ma’am. That’s about how long it takes at that age for a guy. (oops! Showing my age there.)

I personally have zero issues with Dean and Seamus as a ship even if I will never write it (I won’t write MLM having dated 2 in the closet and one stayed in because of safety reasons) but those who do can do.

I do find that The Author did make a bit of a mess of the characterizations in book six (and I won’t even get into how there is a discord of continuity of ethnic heritage involving Lavender Brown) including how Dean was made to look like he was being possessive when for all we know, he was being kind and Ginny was in a foul mood.

But let’s hit on that PostScript which to me is the enormous hippogriff in the room.

Admittedly, Biphobia and Bise/xual erasure is prevalent and it’s upsetting, even to me, the cranky Crusty Ace Dragon. Telling someone that they aren’t what they claim (either saying their straight, really are gay but in denial, or gonna cheat and would you just pick one and stick with it? absolute rubbish.

(I’m intentionally not touching on Pansexual but I can later if need be.)

I’ve heard of plenty who get told they are likely to cheat because they are bisexual. I’ve heard plenty who get told would you make up your mind? and the ever-present, “You can’t be bi because you’re in a het relationship” like that has any bearing on who you are as a person. Hubs and I are visually in a het relationship but we’re not since we’re both Ace Spectrum (aka not-straight - him being Grey and me being Demi) but no one dares tell him such. No one dares mention that to me, either. (Especially after my repeated diatribes on gatekeeping I experienced in the 90s while wandering the alphabet wastelands.)

Frankly, it’s disgusting. And let’s talk about those who want even more bloody gatekeeping, referring to gay men and lesbian women as “Are you a Gold Star XXX?” which is the most epic bullshit I’ve read this year (and that’s taking some serious liberties but I digress.) What kind of bullshit is this, a damn purity test? Not everyone realized coming out of the womb they were gay. Some came to it later. Some stayed in the closet for safety reasons. Some stayed in because it was a no big deal otherwise.

But to tie it all in.... to invalidate the experiences of Lavender and Seamus (and Dean, too) as calling it fake is rude at best, insulting at worst. Now it could be said as performative (which plenty who aren’t straight do go through ‘til they know for certain - or at least did back in the dark ages) but then there are so many under the LGBTQIA umbrella who have had performative relationships to either fit in, hide, or trying to get another to cure them before accepting they were, in fact, not straight. But then that’s the thing about dating in your teens and early 20s - learning who you are but also what interests you and what traits you would want in a long-term partner (if that is a goal) and also what traits are a hell naw breaker for you.

But to expect some kind of irrational purity from the outset and slandering those who had to find their own way down winding roads to where they are happy and content with who they are (with gender and expression and orientation and preferences) and to have all of those experiences invalidated because you’re not pure enough for someone hateful and vicious and unworthy of someone who has probably gone through hell and back just to find their identity of who they are.

The hypocrisy of it stinks worse than I do after a full day of hiking in 25* temps.

So in short, Seamus and Lavender were never fake. Performative, maybe, but not fake. Dean and Ginny dating? Never fake. Erasing any possibility that Seamus, Dean and/or Lavender are Bisexual? That stinks highly.

Quit fetishizing MLM and WLW single-sex relationship. 

Wine Snob

Pairing: Jughead x Reader / Jughead x Betty

Word count: 3,486

Summary: An AU where Jughead has been living with his mother this whole time but is now visiting his father over the summer during his break from college. He hit it off with Betty but it is you, the reader, the ends up stealing his heart in the end. Considering the nature of this fic, obviously the characters are over 21.

Warnings: alcohol consumption, swearing, tsundere af reader, kissing and touching but not much else - similar to the last one

A/N: ALLOW ME TO GO OFF ON A TANGENT for reference - I suggest any wine by Prophecy tbh. their bottle art is inspired by tarot cards. their sauvignon blanc is my favorite. the bitterness is to die for. Curious Beasts’ chardonnay is also delicious. but dont drink any wine from california because that shit is absolute trash water. just pay the extra money for imports. you’ll thank yourself later. i’ve yet to taste a marlborough wine i dont like sO THERE U GO.

Jughead doesn't like to admit it but he's kind of a sentimental guy. Broody as he might be, when it involves him and someone he cares about, he wants things to be special. Just right. Perfect, even. And so it goes without saying for the date he has with Betty that evening. They had never been close. How could they? Last he knew, she had been pining for Archie. But that was before Jughead's parents separating and before he moved away with his mom and little sister. He had always been given the option to visit his dad over the holidays - he had even been encouraged to do so. But he never actually did. He couldn't forgive his dad for not being able to hold it together for the sake of his family. For a long time, Jughead hated his sad and sorry ass. But as he grew from an adolescent to a young adult - from high school to college - that anger faded. And although he still couldn't forgive his father for being the reason why his family had to fall apart, Jughead could at least tolerate him now. So he decided to finally spend a summer with FP after all these years. Yet it wasn't his father who Jughead has been spending most of the summer with. Instead, it's been Betty. And tonight was the night he hoped to make a move into something serious between the two of them.

But what did it mean to Jughead to make a first date between him and Betty special? He thought that wine might be a good place to start. So he found himself at a store that sold wine exclusively. Not quite his daddy's local liqueur agency.

When Jughead entered, the ring of the bells above the glass door echoed throughout the empty store. For a moment he thought that he was the only one there but far in the back of the store, he heard the tinkling of bottles knocking against bottles.

"Hello!" a voice called out. "I'm back here if you need any assistance!"

Jughead took one long look around the store and called back, "I think I'm going to need assistance."

Standing at the front of the store was a new face. You didn't get these very often. Anyone passing through Riverdale would opt for a more convenient means of attaining their alcohol - grocery stores, mostly. The only ones who passed through the doors were regulars. And this wasn't one of them.

"Is there anything in particular that you're looking for?" It's the first question you always ask on the rare occasion you get new customers.

"Not really," the guy mutters. "I don't actually know anything about wine."

"First time buying?"

"Yeah."

"Best to start with something sweet, then. Although in this summer heat, dry is sometimes better. How well do you hold your alcohol?"

The poor man looks at a loss for words. His mouth is open and his eyes are darting around the store. His visible confusion is beginning to develop into panic.

Sighing, he says, "Look, it's for a date. It's my first one with her. I'm not a drinker and I highly doubt she is, either. I just want something nice."

You pause for a moment before responding, giving him a long look. It's not uncommon for people to become overwhelmed when they seek out a wine that isn't Arbor Mist from the bottom shelf of a grocery store but you can't help but feel like he's being a little rude right now.

"Fine," you say. "Rosé it is. Sweet, like I already said."

Without another word or beckon, you begin walking to the section of the store that sticks out from the rest of the shelves by color alone. This is where liquid in every tint and shade of pink imaginable is kept and it's a favorite among the regulars.

The man stands still in front of the selection and stares blankly at the bottles. You stand next to him, waiting.

"Any suggestions?" he asks, weakly.

You point out a bottle with a blonde woman on the front of it.

"Prophecy makes great wines of every varietal. And the price isn't too expensive either. It's a personal favorite of mine."

Reaching out and taking the bottle that had been pointed to, the man follows you to the register thereafter. He hands you some money and leaves with a muttered, "thanks."

Hopefully you never see that miserable brood again.

The date did not go as Jughead had hoped. Try as hard as he may to have made it special. But how could he have known? As far as he's concerned, it wasn't his fault.

Jughead arrived at her house early and although she was still getting ready, he waited patiently in the living room meanwhile avoiding her mother's glares from the kitchen. He escaped out the front door as soon as Betty made it to the bottom of the stairs.

"So where are you taking me?" she has asked. And Jughead smiled in response. But that's all he did. Shaking his head when Betty prodded for more answers. Once you arrived at your destination, however, she shook her own head and rolled her eyes, muttering, "Sweetwater River? I should have know." Her tone had been playful, though.

"You should have known by the time we started walking through the trees," Jughead had pointed out. And they shared a laugh.

They shared a lot of laughs, in fact. From within his messenger bag slung across his shoulder, Jughead had pulled out a small blanket just big enough for the two of them to sit closely together. He certainly had not intended it to be this way - his bag was small and it was the only way he could fit the wine in along with it.

Which he eventually brought out. Once Jughead thought that him and Betty had settled in and gotten comfortable with each other, that's when he decided to open up the rosé wine he had bought earlier that day. And the laughing stopped. Betty's expression went blank and she just stared at the bottle in Jughead's hands.

"Would you like some?" he asked.

"Not really," she answered, looking away.

"What's wrong?" Jughead asked. "You don't like wine?"

"I don't like alcohol. Period."

"Okay, well, I didn't know. I was just trying to be...romantic, I guess."

The tone of Jughead's voice was deflated and he turned to shove the bottle back into his bag. But when he turned back, Betty was in tears.

"What's wrong?" he repeated. Jughead had moved in to hug her, an attempt to comfort her, but Betty shoved him away. Hard, too.

"Get the fuck away from me!" she shouted. Before he could even process what was going on, Betty was on her feet and running. He could hear her sobs fade as she moved through the woods.

"Goddammit," he muttered. And he got to his feet as well because there was no reason to stick around. Collecting the blanket and stuffing it in where the piece of shit wine bottle already was, Jughead made his way in the direction that Betty disappeared off to. But he wasn't chasing after her. No. He was going home.

Later Jughead would learn from Archie why Betty had reacted so poorly to the offer of alcohol. It had a lot to do with why things became sour between the two of them. According to Archie, he had drank a little too much and they had gotten into a fight. Archie wasn't too kind to her. He thinks that she might have a little bit of trauma attached to what happened and has therefore developed an aversion to alcohol.

"It triggers her," Archie supposed.

"And you know what?" Jughead asked - but, before Archie could respond, he answered his own question. "I don't blame her. Shit like what happened between you and Betty is how my own parents' split developed. So fuck you." Jughead hung up the phone before Archie could say anything back and he ignored follow up calls and texts thereafter.

It sucked what happened between him and Betty. But what sucked even more is that someone Jughead considered to be a friend could turn out to be such an awful person. At one time, he would have sworn that Archie was better than that. But time changes people. And so does alcohol, Jughead supposes. If his own father was any example.

The bottle that had only been partly responsible for his bad date hadn't left his messenger bag since he stuffed it in that night. Not knowing what else to do with it, Jughead had decided to just go ahead and drink it. Or at least try it to taste. Who knows? He might like it. But when he went to go get the bottle from the messenger bag that had laid abandoned by the door since that ill-fated night, it was nowhere to be found.

"Dad..." Jughead muttered with a sigh, shaking his head. It wasn't even worth confronting FP about stealing his ten dollar bottle of wine or about going through his personal possessions. Jughead knows that where it concerns his father, it's best to pick his battles, so he snatches up his keys and decides to drop into the store for another bottle. This time he'll keep it well hidden if he doesn't end up polishing it off by himself. He figures if both his dad and former best friend can do it, why not him, too?

It had been about a week since you'd first seen that rather rude newcomer. You almost thought your wish came true - that you'd never see him again. But as your (albeit bad) luck would have it, that afternoon he returns. You have enough time to expel an exasperated sigh before he reaches the back of the store where you are.

Forcing a smile, you greet him. "What can I help you with today?" Before he can respond, you add, "More delicious rosé wine or are you looking to expand your palate?"

"I'll take your word for it that the wine you sold me is delicious. I wouldn't know. My dad drank it."

Rude as ever, you observe.

"But what about your date?"

"It was a disaster."

You stare at him and he stares back at you. After a long pause, you ask, "So...what is it you're looking for today?"

"Any suggestions for the man that will remain perpetually single?"

"No man remains single with the right wine, I'll assure you that."

His response is the last thing you're expecting. And he looks you dead in the eye as he poses the question, too.

"Does that mean you'll go on a date with me if I pick out the right wine?" You might just be imagining things but you could swear you see an eyebrow of his quiver - as if he's trying his hardest to repress a smug expression.

And broody, standoffish personality be damned, this guy is pretty cute. If you're honest to yourself and fair to him, people tend to say that you're not the most approachable individual, either. Birds of a feather, you suppose.

"I don't know," you reply with a shrug. "For a guy who knows nothing about wines, how could you possibly know what the right one is?"

"I'll figure it out," he says. "I'll do some research and come back to you."

You begin to feel a nervous, giddy feeling welling up in your stomach and it creeps its way up to your throat. You can't remember the last time you felt the flutter of a new romantic possibility and although you had your doubts about this guy at first, you can't deny the attraction that's started to develop.

"Fine," you give in with a sigh. "Do what you gotta' do and pick out a wine that impresses me. But be warned - I'm the one who picks out all the wine sold here so every bottle here is the best if I do say so myself."

"Well that just makes it easy then, doesn't it?" The guy is smiling and he's not repressing any expression of smugnes now.

"Get out of here," you mutter with a wave of your hands. "Don't come back at all, for all I care."

"You care," he says. "You will."

The still broody but now cute man is about to let himself out of the store before you call out to stop him. You just realized something.

"What's your name, anyway?"

"Jughead."

Rather than tell him that that's the stupidest name you've ever heard, you opt to share your own name, instead. And the way he says your name when he calls back a "see you soon" might have made your skin crawl with goosebumps.

Jughead doesn't know a damn thing about wine. But he does his research just as he says he was going to. It's just that it doesn't real help him. Like, at all. He's reading up on everything related to vintage, varietal, and vineyards, but with so many variations of all three, Jughead can't even begin to imagine how anyone could ever possibly pick a favorite from among it all.

But that's when he remembers. The pretty lady at the wine store does have a favorite and she told him. It was the wine he had bought for his date with Betty. She said it was a personal favorite.

That would be the right wine; no research required.

You feel like this Jughead guy walks in a little cocky. That's the first sign that gives away how in for it you really are. But you won't let him take away the spoils just yet. Jughead can walk in with a head full of knowledge and still pick out a wine you don't particularly care for. Though, since working at the store, you've developed a taste for almost everything. You still have your favorites.

"What have you got for me?" you ask him.

And he doesn't respond. Instead, Jughead slinks across the store to the section you had introduced him to the first time he entered. He looks at you. Looks at the bottles. Looks back at you and reaches out for the wine you had suggested.

"It's a personal favorite, no?" You almost want to slap the smile off his face if it wasn't how damn smooth he was being right now.

"That hardly took any effort on your part," you mutter as you ring him up.

"You didn't say I had to work hard for it," Jughead points out. "Just that I had to pick the right wine."

"You win, okay?" Locking eyes with Jughead, you ask, "Now what?"

"Now we go on a date," he responds. That smile you wanted to slap has turned into a shit-eating grin. What have you gotten yourself into?

Lacking any originality whatsoever, Jughead takes you to Sweetwater River. You know this is probably where he had taken his original date - the one that failed so miserably, according to him - but you hardly even care. You quite like the woods and the water. Just because Jughead a poor experience with one woman here didn't mean he had to have a poor experience with another. In fact, you're kind of looking forward to showing him the opposite. Not to get too far ahead of yourself or anything but you've been thinking about him a lot. You also think you're at least a little bit curious about what could happen between you two. Perhaps you were just a tad judgmental. First impressions aren't necessarily the true.

"I don't imagine you had any room for glasses in that little bag of yours," you say with a smile.

"What?" Jughead asks in response. "Got a problem with sharing saliva?"

You laugh and turn away, hoping that Jughead doesn't see the blush that's slowly creeping up your cheeks. You're worried about losing your calm and cool demeanor but this boy is breaking down your defenses and it's almost like he knows it.

After passing the bottle back and forth a few times, you wonder if he likes the taste. And he shrugs, saying that it's alright.

"Maybe if I hang out with you a little while longer, I'll develop a taste for this stuff." Jughead's gaze is piercing into your own and you feel your lips part, your response getting caught in the back of your throat.

"Do you...I mean, is that what you want? To hang out more?"

"Do you?"

"I do."

You don't even hesitate in your response. To cover the pressure of saying anything else or responding to whatever he might say next, you snatch the bottle and begin drinking deeply.

"Save some for me!" Jughead shouts, slapping at your hand and laughing.

The sudden influx of alcohol is something like a shock to your system. You rock back and forth a little bit, feeling quite woozy and dizzy in the head, before collapsing on Jughead. He catches you, though, and you don't notice at first but slowly you begin to realize that he's not pushing you upright. He's holding you in his arms - quite tightly, if you're not mistaken. So you let yourself slip lower so that you're laying in his laps with his arms still wrapped around your shoulders. He's leaning down to compensate for the length you slipped to. And as you gaze up at him, you can see the faint light of stars beginning to peek out of the purple-blue sky as night creeps across the landscape.

"You feeling okay?" Jughead asks. His voice is soft and you relish the deepness it has compared to the sound of when he speaks normally.

You reach up and run a hand across the skin of his cheek, soft as his voice, and whisper, "I feel great."

What you do next can't even be blamed on the alcohol because it's something you've been thinking about since you put Jughead up to the challenge of finding the right wine. Those lips - when he smiles, when he speaks - are just too tempting. So you close the distance between you and him. Reaching up with your other hand, you pull Jughead down and kiss him. Softly, slowly, tentatively at first. Exploring the possibility that he wants this like you do. And when he doesn't pull away, you know that he does. He kisses back harder than you do; gestures more aggressive. You don't mind it at all.

You're losing yourself in the moment of simply kissing and touching. It's been awhile since you've experienced anything remotely similar to this so this alone is enough. But Jughead breaks the moment when he pulls away, a soft pant brushing against the skin of your lips as he does so.

"Are you sure?" he asks. And you wonder what he means. "About this. Are you sure you want to do this?"

"I'm not drunk," you tell him. And you're not. Truly. A little tipsy, sure. Fuzzy around the edges, still dizzy in the head. But, god, you're feeling good. And you feel so much better when his lips are pressing against yours while his fingertips brush against every little bit of skin he can find.

He pauses before he goes on with what he has to say.

"It's not that I don't believe you." He brushes a bit of hair behind your ear and smiles. "I trust you. But drunk or not. I don't want to take advantage of you even being tipsy."

How honorable. You want to roll your eyes but you don't want to be disrespectful to him, either. Not when he's trying to be respectful to you. Because how many other guys wouldn't have scooped you up back to their place by now? Or have just taken you as you are right then?

"Okay," you whisper - albeit reluctantly. "Do we have to stop kissing, though? I really like this."

"I like it, too," Jughead agrees, his smile growing. "And I suppose not." His fingers are trailing underneath your shirt, from your hips up to your ribs and then back down again. "But not much else, okay?"

"Okay," you say again.

Disappointed as you might be, there's a level of comfort you feel welling up from deep within you. It's the feeling of trust. Of certainty. That if this is how he's treating you now, whatever develops from tonight will be special. And if he ever hurts you, it won't be out of intention or selfishness. That's not something you've experienced in a long time - if ever, now that you think about it. And if that's what you're in for, you're okay with waiting it out by simply kissing and touching in the meantime. It'll be worth it.

Tagsies: @murderyoursoul @ secretlyablueunicorn @trumpettay @ raptornsain 

If you’d like to be added to my taglist, just message me! (And if you’ve already asked before, sorry! Message me again!)

the beast always incites him on letting go and going berserk (lol) because he still wants to be griffith's equal even in fucked up ways... i just don't understand why the equality speech is still on his mind after everything. to wrap this up, why do you think he's still hung up on being his equal after literal years and griffith not being the same? and why does he still see griffith affectionately in GA flashbacks instead of hating him? His feelings and behavior are contradictory

lol sorry anon this got kind of long and meandering, hopefully it answers your questions though.

I guess I think that Guts isn’t really fully self-aware about the fact that he’s still trying to be Griffith’s equal. It’s not like a real goal for him the way it was when he left the Hawks, it’s just that he can’t help but crave Griffith’s attention. He needs Griffith to see and acknowledge him as someone who matters to him.

It’s why Femto’s dismissal back in the Black Swordsman arc was what spurred him to finally stand and walk up to him despite like a million broken bones, it’s why he refused to heed much sounder advice like stay and take care of the Hawks that are left, and insisted on his attention-getting revenge campaign instead, and it’s why NeoGriffith ditching him makes him do this:

Because becoming Griffith’s “equal” was only a means to an end in the first place - what Guts really wanted was to be Griffith’s friend, or, put in Guts’ own terms:

He wants to be Griffith’s number one priority. At the most genuine point of their relationship, when Griffith admitted he had no rational reason for risking his life for Guts, Guts like basically found personal fulfillment. That scene on the rooftop where Guts contemplates it and decides that this means his home (at least for now bc Guts sucks at committment) is with the Hawks, is probably the happiest moment of Guts’ life.

And when Griffith became an evil demon this core desire of Guts’ didn’t go away, I guess, Guts just started expressing it through attention-getting monster killing and wanting to personally murder Femto, to force him to look at him and value him, if not as a loved one then as an enemy.

Also, to address that last bit, I think it’s very telling that Guts doesn’t hate Griffith. It wasn’t sacrificing all his friends that made Guts’ love turn to rage and hate, it was Femto spitefully raping Casca, which is something Guts knows his Griffith wouldn’t’ve done. While Femto was born out of the darkness of Griffith, something Guts probably at least has some understanding of, he’s not the same as Griffith. He tells that to Rickert too on the Hill of Swords “That’s not the Griffith you know anymore.”

And I think a huge part of the reason he doesn’t hate or blame Griffith for making the sacrifice is because he blames himself for breaking Griffith’s heart and ruining his life.

Like Guts’ narrative from coming back after a year to this moment revolves around his slow realization that leaving was a huge fucking mistake lol. And he finally figured it out right before the Eclipse, so when he thinks of Griffith afterwards he’s associated with guilt and sadness and regret and love, rather than bitterness or hate or resentment.

Like I guess Guts’ feelings are kind of contradictory but in a way that makes sense to me. The situation is complicated af and while Guts is consumed by hate, that doesn’t conveniently erase his love. Separating Femto from Griffith is probably part of how he reconciles that, which is also why when NeoGriffith shows up looking like the old Griffith it was particularly confusing and painful for Guts to handle, and why he “forgot” he wanted to kill him lol.

And both Guts’ hate and his love lead to wanting Femto/Griffith’s attention, it just changes how he goes about trying to accomplish that.

Fic Writers Week Day 7: Rec Time!

Yay! This is the day I was looking forward to the most honestly, I love spreading the love for fics I read! Please also check out a few underrated recs I did for day 2 here! For this post I’m mostly going to be listing all time favorites, as well as the fics I’m currently subscribed to (in no particular order)! I imagine this post will get freakishly long, so as always, it’s going under a read more. 

This week was amazing, it’s so lovely to see all the enthusiasm and support for fic writers <3 I hope this trend can continue way past this week as well ^^ 

Please also refer to my bookmarks! Everything I have bookmarked is quality and surely won’t let you down, but I could not include every single one on this list (it ended up being too long as is lol) but I definitely encourage you to give them all a read! 

Alright, let’s talk about some fics! 

Ride or Die (Iwaoi, E)

For an esteemed racer, intended for the big leagues, owning a garage and racing on the streets should have felt like settling rather than a dream. But Oikawa Tooru is as happy as he can be, as long as he's behind the wheel of a car; until a misstep lands him a heavy fine, and a crumbling future.

Having grown up in one of the roughest neighbourhoods in Tokyo, Iwaizumi Hajime is no stranger to the mob life. But establishing himself as a separate entity has always been his goal. He's a man of action, someone who does what he's asked without any questions. But when the people he's tried so hard to distance himself from come knocking at his front door, he realizes that he finally has to establish a side: his own.

Iwaizumi wants Oikawa's expertise: someone who can both drive well and knows his way around cars. And Oikawa wants absolutely nothing to do with gangs, the kind of people that lit a fire to his life. Everything changes when two people who live very different lives realize they're both fighting for the same thing.

Alright, so I’ve been following this fic since chapter one, and ahh @oiivkawa​ does such an amazing job with it! It’s the fast and furious AU that the fandom needed tbh, each chapter has me on the edge of my seat. The drama, romance, and fun are all evenly balanced and I can’t get enough of iwaoi’s dynamic in it! It also has the hints of an OiKuroo friendship that I love, as well as some kurotsuki thrown in, not to mention Semi even has a role?!! It’s everything I’ve ever wanted, so please go check it out! 

galaxies, within you (Iwaoi, T) 

Hajime and Tooru move in together at the start of university. Too bad they’re stuck with the two gremlins that haunt their apartment.

I read this fic just this week, so all the beautiful emotions and details are still so fresh in my head ; ; The writing in this was so gorgeous, as were the characterizations! If you love pining and happy endings, this is for you! Oh, and also funny af Matsukawa and Hanamaki shenanigans lol. The emotion and the humor compliment each other so well in this fic, one minute my heart was aching, and the next I was dying from laughter. It’s just a lovely iwaoi fic all around, so please give it a read! And make sure to follow @skiecas​ <3

Wicked Games (Kurotsuki, Iwaoi, Bokuaka, E)

After years of being one of the many faceless foot soldiers in the ranks, Bokuto gets a much-deserved promotion. But with the new job comes great responsibility. The job is easy enough. All Bokuto has to do is look after the Boss's mate: The Boss's beautiful, intriguing mate.

Tbh if you like hardcore mafia aus, then this is the fic for you. @caelestisxyz​ is like...a master storyteller, her plots are so well developed and original, idk how she does it! Every chapter is also packed full of romance and nail biting drama, so it’s not for the faint of heart, but if you’re not scared of the angst which comes with this kind of au, then I would seriously recommend it. It’s incredible and features all my fav pairings in such a badass setting! 

A Place to Call Home (Iwaoi, Bokuaka, E) 

Oikawa Tooru doesn't need an alpha. He's doing fine all on his own. And the past four years of being a single mother have proven that this is exactly what he wanted from life.

Of course, life has a way of not always going as planned.

This is another fic I’m currently subscribed to! I will admit I don’t usually read kidfics, but @madamemalfoy21​ has such cute plots and stellar characterizations that I can’t resist her works! Everything about this fic is heartwarming, and every update brings a smile to my face. Oikawa as a single parent trying to figure out how to love again is such a treat to explore, and with the other pairings thrown in, it makes the fic such a pleasure to read <3 

Let it Linger (Kurotsuki, T)

Kei has loved Tetsurou for years.

Tetsurou has loved Keiji for years.

Keiji is marrying Koutarou.

Alright, hold the phone y’all, this fic right here is extraordinary. It’s one of my favorites I’ve ever read, omg, the character growth and reflection is so powerful in this fic AND the slow burn is wonderful. I usually avoid angst like the plague but I can’t really resist @rhealmobsidi​ and her works, I’ve been reading her stuff since I was but a smol lmao and she never disappoints. This fic right here is so heart-aching and heart warming at the same time, I can’t get enough. Please read it if you have not! 

cookies and cream (Bokuaka, E)

Some people might tell Akaashi that he couldn't bake his worries away.

But some people haven't dated Bokuto Koutarou.

Alright, so I’ve been on a bokuaka binge these past few days, so the next few recs will be for them! This fic is so funny lmao, the idea of Akaashi stress baking was just super interesting to me. But not only that, the fic was super touching and romantic jsdnfk I love domestic bokuaka so much, and this delivered! 

Corpora Permutavere (Bokuaka, T) 

“Akaaaaashi, you gotta make a wish after you blow them out!” Bokuto was leaning across the table so far that the candle flames danced in his eyes, turning them to molten metal. And while Akaashi found himself appreciating his teammate’s birthday fervor in a way that was soft, foreign, and somewhat unexpected, Bokuto should still have known that this level of spectacle was neither Akaashi’s preference, nor something he was entirely comfortable with.

Under such pressure, he blew out the candles. Then, as requested, made a wish.

I wish Bokuto-san understood the perspective of someone other than himself.

Bokuto and Akaashi switch bodies. It goes as well as you might expect.

I assume most people have already read this fic and I’m super late lmao?? But in case you haven’t, you need to! It’s just a great story dealing with romance, mental health, and character growth. I tore through this fic, it was so amazing and beautifully written. So many great, though provoking lines/scenes had me thinking about this fic days later, and even writing this I feel like rereading fff. Please go check it out so you can fully understand how A+ this fic is. And please follow @silvercistern​ !!!

bitter (Bokuaka, G) 

He accepted his classmate's chocolates gracefully, then declared his lack of interest with as much dignity as he could muster. She deserved the courtesy. At least she'd acknowledged that Valentine's Day was all about her, and not about him in the slightest.

Because if any of these girls had taken the time to actually get to know him, they’d quickly realize something even more important than his lack of interest in girls.

And that was that Akaashi hated sweets.

This is another one by @silvercistern​ because I am addicted to their bokuaka characterizations lmao. The way Akaashi is written is so amusing and complex, and the bokuaka dynamics are lovable and cute fff. The awkwardness of Akaashi’s love life and his hatred of Valentine’s Day made for a wonderful read, so I can’t help but share this fic as well! 

5 tips to get your guy (Bokuaka, G)

Second-year Bokuto gets fantastic dating advice from his sister’s magazines

This fic was so damn adorable, that’s all I have to really say about it lmao @mooites​ did a great job of making this such a fun read! I loved the inclusion of Bokuto’s sisters and how their trends benefit him lmao it was just really cute to see him use magazines to act on his feelings. I loved this fic, so please check it out if you haven’t! 

Behind Bricks (Bokuaka, E)

Akaashi has always had a good idea of what his future would look like.

Becoming a prostitute hadn't been part of the plan.

Bokuto Koutarou wasn't part of the plan, either. Akaashi meets him by chance, and is drawn in by Bokuto's optimism and authenticity. He's never met anyone like Bokuto, and despite his initial reluctance, Akaashi finds himself getting a little too attached.

Alright, last bokuaka fic lmao but another amazing one no less! @worthlesspride​ writes some of the best and sweetest bokuaka there is, so I recommend all their fics (not just for bokuaka, but all pairs!). I don’t wanna spoil much about this fic, but please read the tags before diving in! You won’t be disappointed, the plot is A++ and the nice mix of angst and romance is to die for <3 

walls (Kurotsuki, G)

Kuroo is the best sparring partner that Tsukishima could ask for, but that doesn’t make him any less annoying of one,

So @ohoholyshit​ wrote a BNHA AU for kurotsuki, and I’m still not over it. Just...please read it, it’s so lovely and funny and just kljsfjdssjkd I live for kurotsuki being awkward boys with their poorly concealed crushes lmao. Also the quirks they’ve been given are so fitting and creative, I was so into this verse fff. 

Angels in the Snow (Promptis, E) 

On a snowy morning, the wolf Prince Noctis discovers an intruder, a fox boy from Niflheim, playing in the snow. Though they quickly become best friends, everyone knows Prompto Argentum does not belong in the Lucis palace, and Noctis can only protect him for so long, especially when Prompto isn't exactly what he seems.

Okay so this is the only non-Haikyuu! fic on this list, but it’s still amazing and if you like FFXV then you need to read it. It has everything from angst, to cute romantic moments, and ofc, omegaverse. I love @emeraldwaves​ and her writing, and she’s really outdone herself with this fic! 

Alright, so those were all the fics I’ve read recently or that I’m currently following, down below are links to some of my all time favorites! All these fics are gorgeously written, with plots that captivate me with every read. These are the fics I have saved, downloaded, and that I reread again and again. Please give them a look! 

I sure hope that guy gets fired (Iwaoi, T) ---all time favorite, like...shit idek

silver tongue (Iwaoi, E)

Mind Reader (Iwaoi, E)

you’re looking like you fell in love tonight (Iwaoi, T)

Sing For Me (Iwaoi, E)

Add New Contact (Daisuga, G) 

Requiem for the Moon (Kurotsuki, M) 

Police Dog (Kyouhaba, E) 

Being Gross (Kurotsuki, E) 

to the beat of my heart (Kurotsuki, E)

In Defense of Reptiles and Other Gross Things (Iwaoi, T)

Provocation Expert (Kurotsuki, M) 

And finally, I want to list a few authors here where yes, I recced a few of their individual fics, but honestly, all their fics are amazing. Like. They all need to be consumed. Read all their fics. They’re all top notch, all quality, you won’t be let down ever, I’m certainly not. The writing is incredible, the humor is there, and idek what else to say. I freak out for these authors and so should you! 

Ivyfics @ivyfics (I’m subscribed to like...way too many of Ivy’s fics, which is why none are mentioned above, but just know that I’ve read everything and constantly am dying for more, mmkay, thanks) 

timkons @90stimkon (A God for Every Season and Principles are some of the best fics ever, you can fight me on this) 

realmSpinner @rhealmobsidi (Everything. Like. Everything. I’m so excited for all the December fics that Kiko is going to post ffff) 

caelestisxyz @caelestisxyz (Again, everything. Amazing plots, heartbreaking angst, awesome endings)

EmeraldWaves @emeraldwaves​ (MY BETA AND MY BFF who has the best ideas and one of the loveliest writing styles) 

Michaela LN headcanons

Mostly about Crowley’s squad aka the templars who were his bffs and got maybe 5 pages about them before being killed off and why am I even writing about the most minor of minor characters in this stupid series. 

Gustavo:

hates being called ‘Gus’

salt incarnate

literally 5′3-5′5 of condensed anger, spite, and grumpiness

jk. sorta. he’s not really friendly or outgoing like Victor or even Gilbert.

not a social person tbh. can come off as cold and cross, but once you get to know him he loosens up a bit

he does have a soft spot for newer recruits, squires, ect and those under him especially his adorable kouhai

despite usually coming off as a sack of salt, he’s pretty selfless and caring. just don’t expect him to always show it, outwardly at least. still willing to lend a hand and save you if you need it and won’t be an ass about it later

also sassy and sarcastic af

Gilbert Chartres:

has done nothing wrong. ever.

cinnamon roll

also a puppy

ugh, probably not really but I can’t help but picture him as this really cute and innocent type. at least before the war

seriously though, the way he addresses Crowley and the other Templars above him

it could be the fact that he’s a bit of a formal person, but I also want to say that he does have a few lost puppy tendencies and follows his senpais around more than some of the younger knights

this changes after the war though

he hasn’t exactly lost his faith but it definitely wavers, but ultimately his strongest motivation is always his comrades

the power of friendship is beautiful

but he’s actually pretty selfless too and cares a lot about his comrades and friends like 120%

also a try hard. but not obnoxious about it. more like “i have to become stronger for my comrades!!1!” type

protect Gilbert at all costs oh wait too late oops nvm gdi Crowley

Victor Roleine:

the opposite of Gilbert

jk not really. in some ways yes, but in others no

he does slack off. a lot. especially if there’s a woman involved

he’s got a lot of natural talent, not just in sword play but he suffers from extreme selective participation syndrome

playboy extraordinaire

all the ladies (and some guys) want some

sinnamon roll

pretty bright and sunny, popular with just about everyone

actually nice and caring especially when it comes to his comrades but also won’t hesitate to tease some of them mercilessly or play pranks on them

still loved by all tho

extrovert extraordinaire

if the ‘sodomy is bad!!!1! very bad!!1!’ wasn’t a thing he probably would’ve made a pass at Crowley since I hc him as bi

btw him and Crowley are like bfffs

Commander Alfred:

hard

hasn’t exactly seen and heard it all, but has seen and heard most of it

prbly tired

take no shit do some harm

a veteran solider who joined the Templars later in life. has no biological kids of his own, just an entire unit of 20 something year olds and all their respective squires

not really but sorta yes. is a father figure to a lot of the knights, including Crowley

he gives off a sort of intimidating and intense aura, which partly stems from his extensive experience as a solider (and having lived to tell of it)

literally no ones mouths off to him. ever. he may be caring, but he is a strict dad

lots of tough love

like the others, he cares a lot about his comrades/subordinates but its even worse because he’s their leader and feels that responsibility a lot

right before the war/on their way to Egypt he feels terrible. tries not to give it away and generally acts confident in front of the troops to boost morale and also not to scare them

but Alfred has seen war already. he’s a veteran and knows that for most, if not all the knights, this is their first time participating in a full scale war and not all of them will come back home

Alfred himself isn’t too worried about death or dying. he’s a bit older, and multiple times he’s had to accept the fact that he might die (his many scars are a testament to that) but it just seems so much worse to him that these kids (literally kids bcs the squires are usually 15-16ish) are being forced out onto a gruesome battlefield with no hope of winning

gives zero fucks about anything except the safety of his unit when the fighting starts. was conflicted about giving orders to retreat before he was wounded and they started suffering even worse casualties but that would’ve also meant abandoning the other troops/units which he wouldn’t do unless under the most dire circumstances

overall died feeling bitter, but more saddened by what had happened than anything else. felt a lot of responsibility for the deaths of his men

Roy Rouland:

big

no but in the LN they even say he’s about as muscular as Crowley and he’s probably as tall as him too (maybe even a bit taller)

a bit of a try hard

can be stubborn and a bit tactless w/o realizing it sometimes

usually serious, doesn’t joke around too much unlike some people *cough* victor *cough*

ALSO CARES ABOUT HIS COMRADES A LOT (all…well, most of them do)

isn’t as close to Crowley as Victor, Gilbert, or Gustavo but is still one of his friends.

he’s a younger knight like Gilbert and the two of them are fairly close, especially after the war, but were close even before the war since they were about the same age

used to think Crowley was cool. still does, just doesn’t want to admit it as readily as before the war

was always excited/happy when he got to sit with the Cool Kids (Victor, Crowley, Gustavo, and Gilbert) or just hang out with them because everyone wanted to be around them, but Victor and Crowley in particular

i mustache you a question

takes pretty good care of his mustache, and it actually looks good on him

Jose:

lost puppy cinnamon roll

smol

also a try hard

Gilbert probably would’ve loved having Jose as his squire

they would’ve gotten along great

OK OK BUT GILBERT PROBABLY WAS WELL AWARE OF JOSE BEING CROWLEY’S MAIN SQUIRE

and probably totally had Jose reporting to him about Crowley’s status, condition, well being

told him to make sure Crowley was eating right, wasn’t oversleeping or undersleeping or slacking off on training

and in between all this they’d simultaneously grit their teeth over Crowley but still fawn a bit bcs its Crowley

i can totally picture Gilbert occasionally telling stories of their exploits and shenanigans before the war, involving Victor and Gustavo and Roy usually eavesdrops

Jose never mentions it to Crowley, but he really wishes he could’ve met Victor.

#1 Crowley fan

who wants to hear me rant about a fe x fate stay night thing here: 

Noire is Shirou (the protag) and has parts of Sakura's development, Sev is Rin (resident tsundere), Lucina is Saber (lucinoire/lucisevnoire agenda), Lonk is Kiritsugu (sad dad), and that's all the ones based off of FSN and I'm thinking about more unique storylines for the rest (ie. I did not put much thought into them or I haven’t thought about them at all). 

Basically there's a certain timeline that flows into the modern world. It's based off of the Future Past timeline, but Lucina fails in this one and dies with the rest of her comrades. Before dying, she manages to get Robin back to their senses long enough for them to stab each other, and then Lucina's spirit is summoned from there into the modern timeline like how Saber manifests in FSN. So Grima does not destroy world, but it is a bitter victory that becomes a legend.

Fast forward to Shirou's story, Noire is adopted after the fire that ravages the town is unleashed from the Holy Grail, only this time it's the Fire Emblem that's the artifact of doom, in the _th Fire Emblem War. So Lon'qu adopts her along with his husband, Libra, bc why the fuck not lmao. Ten years later, Libra has to go to the Mage's Association to go dismantle the entire concept of the wars, and Lon'qu has to follow bc he's also his bodyguard. So they're forced to leave Noire, who did not know about magic aside from simple healing that Libra taught her, in the capable hands of Severa's family. 

Yeah, so Severa... has an inferiority complex towards her family's gift for dark magic (it's true it's in their default classes). She's an ambitious young mage who wants to win the Fire Emblem, but does not exactly have the qualifications to summon a Saber-class. Nevertheless, she sneaks out to spy on the rituals. Of course, this doesn't end well when Noire and Severa accidentally get caught witnessing two Servants fighting with no defenses, which forces Severa to summon but to no avail. Unbeknownst to them, Noire has the correct artifact to summon Saber, and Lucina rescues the two of them.

So now we have two school students trying to fight off other mages while juggling with their daily life as like any eroge VN (there will be none of this mana regeneration “ritual”; they’re high schoolers).

Major plot shit:

Reincarnation is a thing. Those who aren’t considered a Heroic Spirit just reincarnate. So a major source of angst will probably happen due to Lucina being stuck in the past and will probably never be released from her status as a Hero.

Noire encounters her real mother. This is Tharja, except she is the exact same Tharja from the old timeline who has been body surfing for centuries in order to find a way to resurrect Robin/Grima. She’s become very even more misguided in her devotion to Robin and will do anything to win a chance to revive them. She’s probably Kotomine’s counterpart, in which she summons a spirit (or killed for one) and is a secret master.

Lucina is afraid of going back to the past and wants the Fire Emblem to fix her failure. Because of this, she has the inability to let go of people close to her and is terrified of the thought that she’ll remain in that state forever as a hero who couldn’t save her kingdom. Anyways there’s pretty much a cheesy ending where it turns out Lucina was reincarnated all along but it’s like at the very end where this is revealed. Which means Lucina as a Heroic Spirit will always disappear in the story. Oh and her reincarnation can cameo for a short bit in other routes it’s not like I’m taking this seriously.

Noire and Severa have a strange joint partnership with their spirit. Noire is the one officially bound to Lucina while Severa can help in battle tactics as well as fight alongside Lucina. Of course, Severa does like to brag a bit about this.

The Fire Emblem is corrupted from a while ago, which makes a lot of the characters dreams and wishes pretty much for nothing.

Background character plot:

Lon’qu is assigned as Libra’s guard in the previous war, and they fall in love. They both happily raise Noire while being cautious of the Mage Association watching them, as Libra is a high ranking mage but dislikes getting any more involvement with them.

Noire is still messed up because she did live with Tharja for a few years before being dropped off at an orphanage. She still underwent the experiments Tharja created and has a dormant edgey side as a result. This manifests into a dark vessel that wants to consume the Fire Emblem’s power to become even greater than Grima.

Other (?) routes I’m thinking about:

Alfonse and Sharena are the heirs for the Askr family and summon their servant. Their family is partly responsible for bringing the Fire Emblem into the magic ritual. As so, they have high expectations placed on them, and they are extremely knowledgeable on the history of heroes and are confident that their time has come to bring honor to their family. However when they summon their hero, it’s the Masked Man/Bruno, someone who they never had seen before. Later on it turns out that Bruno is probably most likely c’mon it’s a little obvious Zacharias, their best friend, who is a bitter future version of himself. He’s from a timeline where Alfonse and Sharena die from the war, so he’s here to save them without giving away his identity because he’s full of self-loathing and is pretty much a cryptid. He’s almost like Archer, except his class may be Caster or Assassin.

Veronica is from another high-end mage family that took part in the creation of the Fire Emblem Wars. However, the previous war greatly damaged the family, leaving her the sole person left. Her loneliness makes her wish for the destruction of the world, although that is actually an influence from outside forces (as evidenced in Xenolouge 1). Like the Askr siblings, Veronica possesses high talent and knowledge over the summoning ritual. Her Servant is Xander as Rider, who bonds with her in a fatherly way and allows her to (as much as I hate to admit it) open up as a person and break away from the tool the mages see her as.

I’m not really sure about this one, but Camilla from Birthright’s timeline will become Berserker, who is maddened with sorrow and betrayal over her family. I was originally thinking about having the Hoshido kids piss around with summoning (Takumi and Sakura), but maybe I should try pairing her with someone else since she can’t really interact very well due to most Berserkers trading in sanity for the strength boosts of their class. I keep thinking about Louise making her the unofficial mom of Nino, and now I can’t stop thinking about this kid walking around with this off-rails mom with a big dragon while the competition looks at them in fear lol.

Well that’s like 4/7 combos I guess that’s enough. So the others will be based on older FE games bc this looks biased af but I’m too tired to think of other shit bye.

I never played the games and I saw yesterday that Otoya's father is actually Shining (yeah I'm very late in the news), I'm shocked lmao do you know if the games have other important info the anime didn't show?

Oh my, where do I even start… Tbh, the anime is the tip of the iceberg of what Utapri has to offer, plot-wise. Really, the games have lots of content and potential even if Broccol doesn’t explore it but lol what can we do. I highly suggest you to look up some reviews of the game routes so that you can get the most of it, details etc, it’s really interesting. Overall, I’ll just throw the basics under the Read More ^^

Otoya - One of the charas with the most complicated story arc that Broccoli forgets to bring up even though everyone is interested in. His mom (Kotomi) is a composer, just like Haruka, and she used to be Shining’s partner (music and love-wise), but when he had to choose over career or love, he chose career and left her. He didn’t know that she was pregnant though, so she had a son (Otoya) on her own. She suffered a plane crash though, and everyone assumed she was dead. He was raised by his aunt until she died and he went on an orphanage. In the games, he lowkey knows that Shining is his dad, but he doesn’t talk to him about it (I wouldn’t either lol tbh Shining is an ass for knowing that Otoya is his son later and still leaving him on an orphanage when he could be raising the boy but ok).

Cecil - Yeah, so you know the thing about the plane crash and everyone assuming Kotomi was dead? Well, turns out she wasn’t! She actually ended up in Agnapolis, but suffered amnesia and forgot everything. The king and her eventually fell in love with each other and then they had Cecil (yes, he’s Otoya’s half bro). However, ppl in the island were xenophobic af and hated japanese people, so Kotomi went back to Japan to avoid those weirdos who wanted her away (or dead), but Cesshi stayed bc he’s the heir after all. But his uncles or smth didn’t consider him a true heir bc he’s half-japanese, so they turned him into a cat with a magic spell and sent him back to Japan :/ There he met Haruka and her songs brought him back to human form again :) which means he’s still the heir lol @ his relatives try harder.

Masa - basically his mom was weak on health when he was younger, and he had to take care of everything, including his little sister Mai (she’s cute and he makes stuffed animals to her from time to time as gifts even after becoming an idol). His dad is a bitch on the games OK. That servant that appeared, Jii - everyone who played the games hates him. To represent my feelings on him while playing Repeat, I made this little art piece hope u appreciate:

In the anime Mai pretty much disappeared, but in the games she’s still there, so she’s the reason why Masa is still avoiding his dad and the duty of becoming the heir, because he knows he can’t get disowned, since his sister will be the next in the line and forced to do things bc of that. He loves her a lot, so this is why he doesn’t do it.

Natsuki - If I remember well, he was raised in France until he was 5?? My memory on this is kinda bad. His parents have a farm and this explains why he loves animals so much. His arc was Satsuki, and once he disappeared, everything became a filler (which is very sad, he’s such a good chara;;). Also he and Syo didn’t know each other when they were kids.

Tokiya - Ok so I know many Tokiya stans are super hardcore and know every little thing about him, so if I mess up I’m really sorry ;_; my memory isnt that good ok, but I’ll try my best. Tokiya’s dad never liked the idea of him becoming an idol, and when he decided to continue to go after his dream, his dad left him and his mom. He and Shining knew each other before bc they worked together on something that I forgot rn, while he was HAYATO. Shining noticed that he felt very unhappy and offered him help (and a chocolate cake, which was cute). Tokiya denied until he broke down and admitted that his life was shit, so Shining helped him.

Ren - Tbh his story isn’t much different from the anime and what it said. He’s the 3rd son, feels useless, he and Masa knew each other since they were kids, etc. Oh, and he doesn’t like chocolates. Since he was born on Valentine’s Day, everyone offered him chocolate to the point that he couldn’t stand it anymore, because he felt that he had to eat every chocolate that ppl offered in gratitude lol. He does like bitter chocolate though.

Syo - @ anime when will you quit playing games with us and BRING KAORU TO THE ANIME BYE. Ok so he has a twin brother (mentioned in the anime). What the anime doesn’t mention is that he has a heart condition, and if he gets too excited and stuff, his heart starts to freak out. Doctors didn’t even expect him to survive past 10yo or something. He hated himself for being so weak and short, but seeing Ryuuya on TV motivated him. He started learning how to fight and decided to become an idol to get closer to him. He survived past doctors’ expectations, despite of the odds. Kaoru studies medicine bc he wants to be a doctor and help Syo, and people in the same condition. Kaoru also feels kinda guilty for being healthier and taller despite being the youngest twin. Their father is a stylist in Shining’s Agency, and their mother is an orchestra conductor if I’m not mistaken. His heart condition was healed in Utapri Repeat through a surgery.

Reiji - has sister and mom, and they own a restaurant. Studied at Shining Academy like the members above ^^^. While he was there, he met Aine and 2 other guys, and they became friends. Reiji debuted with one of the friends as his composer, and Aine debuted with the other. They both became idols, but Aine fell in depression over the idol life, feeling lonely and empty, to the point where he tried to commit suicide. His last call was directed to Reiji, but he was busy working and didn’t answer. Aine was never seen again and assumed dead, so Reiji blames himself to this day. Their other 2 friends also blame him. He may look happy and all, but it’s pretty much a facade and he feels bad about it to this day.

Ranmaru - He used to be part of the Rich Kids Club™ with Ren and Masa, but his dad was betrayed and his family became bankrupt. His dad died because of stress, but Ranmaru assumed the debts in his place and worked his ass off to pay it. Since most of the bands he was in disbanded bc of girls, he’s kinda bitchy with females at first. Really likes cats. His hair is dyed and he uses a contact lenses to make one of his eyes to seem purple. 

Ai - Hey, do you remember that Aine story? Turns out Aine didn’t die either! (never trust deaths in Utapri) He was saved from drowning by his uncle, but he got in coma. His uncle, a doctor/scientist, discovered that he refused to wake up because he was scared of the world and scared of feelings/love. His uncle then creates an android (Ai or A.I.) and connected their emotions. This way, Ai could discover more about the world and feelings, and show Aine that the world wasn’t that bad. Their voices and appearance are the same (poor Reiji), but they’re completely different people. Through music, Ai managed to wake up Aine, but freaked out later that he wouldn’t be useful anymore. The uncle/doctor reassured him that he was important and never meant as a replacement. So basically Aine is alive in Ai’s route, but not in Reiji’s route, and we may never even see him bc Broccoli is the best and wasting potential.

Camus - a count just like he loves to say. Serves the Silk Queen and really cares for her. Didn’t really have a childhood bc of training day and night to serve the queen, and his own family is full of his enemies, one trying to take down the other. His horse can be turned into a dog as well (named Alexander). He was sent to spy on Shining and to see if he could find some way to get magic and boost his queen’s magic bc it was almost gone. Cesshi almost married the queen bc.. Well, the queen needed magic and he had the muses, plus those bitches on Agnapolis wanted Cesshi away, so they arranged a marriage, but since Camus managed to get some magic (Haruka’s songs wow), it didn’t happen. He knows about Ranmaru’s past btw, and knows about the whole Shining-Kotomi thing (Silk Quen knows about it too).

THIS ACTUALLY BECAME LONGER THAN EXPECTED OMG IM SORRY but really this is still not everything and there’s a lot more to explore from Utapri and the games/Drama CDs. Hope this helps you anyway!

Him: wyd Me: Why are you interested in what I'm doing You don't actually care what I'm doing, you're just tryna catch me again like with the FaceTime. You didn't actually want to see me, you wanted to know what I was doing. You just want to know if I'm with other guys and cheating. I haven't been with any dude and we're not even together. You're very sneaky and manipulative. Don't even try to lie cause you know it's the truth so don't deny it. You wanna know what I'm doing? I woke up with a headache and had a bad day, I hung out with some friends and the day got even worse, I just finished watching one of my fave shows, which you don't know what it is because you don't care to know that stuff, you only care to ask what I'm doing because you don't want me to be hanging out with dudes and when I say I'm not you don't believe me and push the cheating shit on me again or you're satisfied with my answer and disappears until another around hogs day when you pop your head out of the hole like, "are you fucking anyone? Did you meet someone?" And I say "nope" and you're gone again. That, is what I mean by, "leaving me on a shelve." You don't give a damn about me. I'm like a collectors action figure you leave in the box and in your closet and do nothing with it, you just want to own it, while somebody else would treasure it and love it and be good to it and even cuddle it in bed, even if it's fucking uncomfortable because that's how badly the fool wants to hold that thing because that's how much he loves it. But yeah, it was a good episode of this show that's one of my favourites which you don't know. In the episode, it was about how this couple knew nothing about each other and had no communication and it didn't bother the girl at all, she had a busy life and all this huge stuff she never told her boyfriend, and when he'd find out, he'd pretend he wasn't upset and like he didn't feel left up. One day he snapped and said how they have no communication and don't even have nicknames for each other and she's not interested in getting to know shit about him, and I'm like, "Yeah that's how I feel about damien." Thinking about how I don't know shit about you and you don't care about us learning things about each other. There's so much more to me than the stories of me getting fucked over by exs, which I actually told you because I thought you would comfort me and say you'd never do that kinda shit and you'd get closer to me, Nope! The bitch can't stop going on about her exs. Okay so why don't I just come out and ask him things, oh yeah, he gets super pissed he took the time answering questions. Why not watch a movie together? Oh yeah he tells me to hurry tf up after 5 minutes, while I'm actually trying to enjoy that I actually get to spend time with him and looking through movies and talking about my experiences with them and trying to laugh and have a good time and even connect with the dude but nah, he's like "fuck this" and goes to bed. Oooh what about all the times I looked like a fucking idiot saying I wanted to sleep with him and cuddle with him, and later find out he doesn't even like cuddling in bed. That was great. If we knew this shit about each other from the jump, it would not have lasted this long because we aren't compatible at all. All he wanna do is fight and give me shit and make sure I don't meet anyone. Love forbid I find someone who actually looks at me lovingly and not with hate, actually cares about me and try's to understand me. I reflect off of other people, treat me like shit and plays games, welcome to the games cause I'll pull them right back like the shit with the group chat that you still aren't over. I try to match the other person, it's how I've always been, why I'd try to be careless like Evan, play games with Austin, cause that's how I am. I'm sure there's a lot of shit that if you saw a the start and we'd actually gotten to know each other, you'd book it. Book a flight far tf away from me. But everybody got hope right? Like that hope in my head saying that I could just be like, "babe I understand you find it uncomfortable, but I just wanna lay in your arms for just 5 minutes. If you get uncomfortable before then you can throw me to the floor. But just 5 minutes." I can name so many times I stayed in the same position cuddling with my cat, because it's rare she'd do that so when I finally got to, a bitch stayed uncomfortable af cause that's how much I love the fur ball. You also don't know shit about my cat. Like how she's loyal and caring like a dog and protective over me. Like a few years back when my guy friend was tickling me, she came out and started hissing at him cause she thought he was hurting me. And basically every night she's been cuddling with me now and she always has to be with me, if I'm not around she's always meowing for me. She absolutely loves me and I know I'll never find someone who cares about me more than she does. Most cats are all not giving a fuck, she's not like that at all. I wouldn't be surprised if you don't even know her name. Or the nickname I have for her. But yeah, it's all great and let's continue this relationship of you not caring to know anything about me and we don't talk ever unless I do something that upsets you, cause then you will cuss me out, but if I'm a good girl and I stay quiet, then you'll let me live and you leave me alone. Such a healthy relationship. Yeah no, you're bpd af. Shocker if you don't already know that. But I can admit I'm codependent. Which makes me an easy target for manipulation. Oh yeah, were a perfect match. You can keep treating me like shit all you want and I'll probably keep letting you. Yup happy couple over here. Oh yeah wanna know what else I did? I cried about how no one will ever love me. Yup such a cry baby. I'm such a piece of shit eh? Perfect girlfriend of the year award. Oh wait no, cause nobody ever asks me out, and when I get them to finally tell me why, they finally have the balls to reject me and say they never wanted me. Can't wait for that to happen! It's been a couple months now, sooner or later you'll abandon me abruptly, or find someone so amazing which makes it easy for you to dump my ass off at the dump. Then I can have even more trust issues and scream at the next guy who try's to pull that shit with me since I already know what it means and learned for the millionth time from experience. Sounds fantastic. Can't wait to have more permanent damage and find another guy who pretends to love me for awhile, just for his own benefits, and then when convenient, hauls my ass out. Man that's super fun. Doesn't at all make me feel unloved or worthless or like I'm just shit and no one will ever love me. Nope someday I'll find someone else who will pretend to love me for awhile. Not like I haven't already wasted half of my life on bullshit and lies and games and guys who don't give af about me. Not at all hate their guts. Perfectly stable. Not at all bitter. This whole thing hasn't been sarcasm at all, nope. I'm just so happy living in another guys closet 😊😊😊😊😊 I'm the "nice girl". It's like the "nice guy". The guy who gets put into the friend zone, the guy who girls let watch change and even hook up with as practice for their crush. The guy who loves the girl to death but she doesn't give af and one day she's lonely and decides to just date him. And while he's smitten, she's busy keeping her eyes open for a better offer. And she does and dumps the guy and says she used him and never loved him. I'm that. And before I met you, I was fucking tired of being "that". So I did some things, unconsciously, that made me look like the hot bitch isn't of being the "nice guy" who gets fucked over. Cause if I wasn't the nice girl for once, if I was the bitch, I wouldn't be the one being left. I was so done being the walk in mat. In the beginning, I was this bitch who would walk all over you in heels and not give af. But the thing is, that's not me. That's who you want. It even proved my point that all guys want is some bitch to boss them around. All my exs left me for some bitch who pushed them around and treated them like crap. That's who you wanted. That's the fantasy girl you couldn't stop dreaming about. I spent months opening up to you, trying to get that image of me out of your head. Trying to show you the codependent, vulnerable girl with a golden heart that I really am. Not the girl who was just in so much pain she felt heartless like she could rip our hearts right and left, No. But you never would see me. I'd always say that when you look at me it's not even like you're looking at me. You don't see who I am. You don't want to believe who I am. You want the girl who doesn't care. And I'm sorry that's who I presented myself to be. It isn't me. There's a ton of cold hearted bitch out there, go find one. I spent months telling you about the shit I've been through with guys and the type of person that I am in relationships. Why don't you believe that? You only see what you want to see. You won't ever just see me. And I've never felt so transparent. Find the girl you're looking for. I'm not her.

How’d Winston Do Last Night? 10/10

EVERYONE ALMOST DIED!!!! Hurricane Michael came to Richmond and it was scary babiessss!!! But luckily both of the open mics I was planning on doing went off without a hitch.

First up is one of my gosh darn favorites in all of RVA. Mainly because not only is it a fun room, but it is EARLY!!! Daddy loves an early open mic. The first show was the open mic at The Camel hosted by Jameson Babbowski. Which sounds like the name of a cocktail that is one part Irish whiskey and one part Manischewitz. Great guy, and a newer comic. But he does put together a pretty sweet show!!!

The format is he has three open mic spots then two headliners do about 15 to 20 a piece and then follows that with the rest of the open mic list. This actually is a pretty dope set up. Everybody gets stage time, and the headliners don’t have to be the first comics up!

So after I get to the show it just starts pouring cats and dogs. Like really coming down. I was the first comic there so I went and changed out of my sassy jorts and into my sexy comedy jeans and papa was ready to sling some jokes. 

My buddy Brock Hall and his lady friend Ash stopped by. It was fun catching up with the one line wonder, and just shoot the shit. Then we had Mu Cuzzo and his lady Paula arrive along with Bert Martling, Rick Williams and some others. 

It was a fun preshow hang. Had such a good time just hazing tf out of Bert. It is quickly becoming my favorite past time. Always good when Mu and Rick join in as well. Honestly I can’t state enough how much fun ball-busting is and it really is my comfort zone. I do think we found Bert’s weak spot in roasting, and I will be continuing to exploit that for the foreseeable future. 

After doing a super brave and courageous Paul Ryan joke a few nights before Rick Williams decided it was time he ditched his time tested material and try out a sweatlist. I WAS BEYOND EXCITED to see this disaster about to unfold.

So for you guys who don’t know what a sweatlist is I will explain. A sweatlist is when you get another comedian to write a list of topics/premises on a piece of paper and give it to you. You take the list with you on stage and the first time you look at the topics is when you get up there. Then it is your job to proceed to tell/makeup jokes about the topics off the top of your head. It’s basically improvised standup and it can be a super dope writing exercise. 

So the show was ready to get underway and the headliners this week were Liz Carr (sweetheart comedy) and Jesse Jarvis!  So it was going to be a fun time. There was a surprisingly good crowd in spite of the horrendous weather. 

After the first few comics went (Brock Hall, and new guy idk) Jameson asked me to run grab my clamp light because it was too dark. I GO AND GET FREAKING DRENCHED. But we were right it definitely improved the show being able to see the performer’s face. 

Mu had a hot set then they brought Liz on stage. Liz legitimately had one of the best sets I’ve ever seen her have. Liz puts on super fun shows all around town, and really really grinds her ass off at this thing. So it was nice to see her have a hot set!!!

After her Jesse had a pretty good set too. Jesse is legit one of my favorite comics, and is one of the OG Richmond comics. He is one of the sweetest and kindest dudes I know. I love every conversation I have with him and I enjoy his comedy a great deal. He looks like Charlie Day from It’s Always Sunny, but his comedic style is an observational style with very specific word choices. His notebook looks like a serial killer’s. 

After his set the open mic picked back up and people did ok. Bert kinda bombed and Rick actually did fine with his Sweatlist. This time he took an even braver stance on Paul Ryan and for that we are all very proud and thankful for his service. 

I go up last and get to stretch a little bit. I got to do about 12 minutes with a good mix of crowd work and trying out my new material. The material goes well for the most part, and the crowd work does better. Riffing on how we were all going to die, the audible weather alerts going off, and the fact the woman on the news showing the weather was in front of a map that was completely red while wearing completely red. 

Honestly my set was super fun so I’d give it a B. Really continuing a streak of productive shows which felt hella nice. 

After my set I grabbed my stuff and headed over to Garden Grove Brewery in Cary Town which is an open mic hosted by my buddy James Muñoz (the bled). Comics from the other mic showed up but I also got to see Patrick Buhse, Brandon Beswick, and Kate Carroll.

I had a pretty dope moment with Buhse where we talked about some stuff, and eventually hugged and admitted our respect for each other. Buhse is a funny dude, and I think in the past we both took some things the wrong way. People were mean AF to me when I started comedy and it made me bitter for a hot minute so naturally there were some issues. But it was nice to get an audible acknowledgement that that was over and that we loved each other. 

I love busting balls but I legit actually hate hurting anyone or feeling like I've wronged someone, so that was a nice bow to put on an already super dope night.

I went first on the mic and I did ok. Some stuff worked and some didn’t. As I was telling jokes the bartender was placing buckets down to catch the leaking water so there was some distraction. Then at the end of my set I made fun of two dudes who were talking so loud in the back and that went great. 

I had people tell me good set on my way out into the torrential downpour which was definitely nice. These jokes still need work but I’m working on it. 

I’d say my set was in the C+ to B- range and I’m perfectly happy with it. 

All in all a super dope night for comedy and I couldn’t have been happier! So until next time sweet cheeks I LOVE YOU LAYDEES!!!!