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#welp least one of us is getting therapy
heyhellohihowareyou · 7 months
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Why “Ball Game Tournament Time” is underrated as hell
BASEBALL EPISODE! BASEBALL EPISODE! Any anime that has a baseball episode in it is bound to get Hailey hooked!
And this one is about her Sugi boy! She’s all for him getting more screentime!
Out of context picture
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I’m pretty sure that this was the episode that started the “Jiriki Hongan Revolution” intro (Correct me if I’m wrong) and since it’s tied as my fav AC intro, this episode gets points for starting it!
Baseball fanatic Koro is best Koro!
Anyways, did I mention I love baseball episodes because I love baseball episodes
Found a cute side character with freckles. Appreciate her NOW!
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Two very good boys right here!
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Kimura gets to do something! We must savor this moment while we still can!
Awww a cute Mimura!
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I live for a badass Sugi boy (Even though this one is in Shindo’s head 😅)
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Also, start the count for how many times Shindo looks like he’s about the piss himself
Ain’t this such a great episode! 3-E is succeeding and showing the main campus kids what’s what! Boy I sure hope no one ruins-
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Bitch. Can you please stay out of my feel good sports episodes and not traumatize people at all? You’re bringing down the vibes man 😕
Well the girlies are back at least! Kind of wish we got to see them play though.
Kayano: “It’s just that the other team had huge jiggly boobs! It made me so made that I couldn’t concentrate!” Kaede sweetie you are not beating the allegations 🩷💜💙
Nothing to say except I like Maehara’s bewildered face
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GAKUHOU STOP FUCKING MANIPULATING TEENAGERS FOR FUCK SAKE
I hate the man but those eyes though
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Irina: “Aha! I think I get it! So you hit a ball with a stick!” Never change Irina. Never change.
Oh my god EVERYONE SHUT UP RIGHT NOW AND LOOK AT MY BOY!!!
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Did I mention that I adore Sugino. Well, I ADORE SUGINO!!!
I swear to god Gakuhou doesn’t have life WHY ARE YOU HERE!?
Also, anyone else felt bad for Shindy this episode? Sure he was sort of a cocky bastard for the first part but man is he put through hell here.
Karmster using his bitch powers to good use (Yes, Karmster is his new name now)
Also this should be a meme template
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I saw the glowing red eyes and my first thought was “Baki?”
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Nothing to say except that I find Isogai’s little sigh cute
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Bewildered Shindy
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Gakuhou: “Crack a skull if need be.” Why aren’t you in jail yet?
We love Karmster’s little bitch face
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Karmster: “Swing like you’re trying to kill us.” My guy is in distress
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Nagisa: “That’s got him pretty shaken up.” Pretty Shaken- MY GUY IS TRAUMATIZED!
Again, poor Shindy. Like seriously get this boy some help.
I’ve caught two bright smiles in one screenshot!
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Sugino: “Didn’t mean for things to get so crazy.” Shindy needs to go to therapy
Juuuust Karmster
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Hadn’t mention before but I love listening to Sugi’s dubbed voice. For someone who shares a voice actor with the loud mouth that is Katsuki Bakugo his voice is nice to listen to
Sugino: “It was about being proud of my new friends. I wanted to show them off.” Sugino I fucking love you.
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Welp that’s it. That was a good ass episode that we as a fandom should talk about more! It’s season 1’s version of leader time to me. In fact it’s part of my top ten favorite episodes of the series (I really need to make a list) I don’t say it that much but Sugino as a character brings me so much serotonin so watching this episode was a joy for me! Combined with the fact that I love baseball this episode was an absolute delight.
I keep forgetting how bad I feel for Shindy boy here. Like, he was just slightly cocky and he ended up getting manipulated left and right. Seriously, I wouldn’t be surprised if he ended up having nightmares about the 3-E students sniping him in his sleep or something.
Anyways, like I said. This is a good episode and we should really discuss it more. We should discuss Sugino more. DISCUSS THE BOY! <—— Barely discusses the boy in question
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cadybear420 · 2 months
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Cadybear's Reviews- My Two First Loves
Welcome to the twenty-seventh official Cadybear's Reviews! Today I'll be talking about My Two First Loves, which I have ranked on the "Rotting Flesh Tier" at 2 stars out of a possible 10. My last and only playthrough of this was back in April-June 2021.
Oh boy! Oh boy oh boy oh boy! I could write a whole essay on everything wrong with this…  
So I will. 
To put it briefly: this story feels like it was adapted from a Wattpad story that was written by a 12-year-old whose only ever exposure to high school media and depictions of teenage sexuality was Glee, and then had serious queer and mature themes slapped onto it in order to make it seem better. Y’know, the equivalent of trying to polish a turd.
Or, heck, it’s probably PB’s attempt at ripping off “The Kissing Booth”, seeing as both have a MC in a love triangle between her childhood best friend and a bad boy named Noah, after all. Which, funnily enough, was also originally adapted from some tween’s Wattpad story. That’s about the equivalent to a dog eating some rotten food, shitting it out, then another dog finds it, eats it, and then shits it right out again. And THEN that second dog’s owner comes along to try to polish that double-toured turd. 
Number 1: The LGBTQ+ tag is clearly an attempt to appease the queer players that they probably think are being whiny. 
Ava’s arc about realizing she’s a lesbian who had been experiencing compulsory heterosexuality is pretty solid in a vacuum. But her being an LI was so blatantly only a last-minute decision PB made during the writing process, and it shows because Ava’s CG just uses her game sprite while Mason’s and Noah’s are fresh art. 
MC starts to fall for Ava sometime around at least 30 chapters in, but we don’t get to officially pursue her as a romance option until about 70 chapters in. I get delaying her as a love interest a bit because of the whole thing with MC realizing she’s bi, but even then, there’s just so few opportunities for building any kind of relationship with her that it hardly feels authentic. 
Speaking of, MC’s supposed bi awakening is completely rushed and treated with about as much value as a Family Guy cutaway gag, even outside of Ava being sidelined. As someone who realized I wasn’t straight three years ago and is still questioning if I’m bi or straight, I understand that people take different amounts of time to figure out their sexuality. But this MC does not spend any period of time figuring out her bisexuality. She basically just goes “Welp, guess I’m bi now”, and then it’s back to being indecisive as per usual except now there’s a female love interest in the mix too.
To add insult to injury, "discussions of sexuality" is placed in a "player discretion" warning, alongside "racial tensions" and "occasionally violence" to boot. How the fuck is discussion of sexuality even remotely on the same level as either of those? If they meant discussions or depictions of homophobia then maybe I could understand… but I don’t even recall seeing any depictions of homophobia in the book, so including this in the freaking warning tags is pointless at best and kind of insulting at worst. 
Not to mention, plenty of other Choices books like MOTY, ILS, D&D, etc. have had discussions about sexuality/LGBTQ+ stuff before, and didn't have to warn us about it. Not even MAH, a later book which had discussions about freaking conversion therapy for Christ’s sake. Sure, some of those books did have content warnings, but they were generally vague and/or mainly warned for violence, and didn’t warn specifically for depictions of queerphobia or discussions of sexuality. Yet for some reason, MTFL feels the need to include a player discretion warning for sexuality discussions, even though it contains far less harsher queer themes. 
Number 2: The portrayal of teen sexuality in this does not feel earnest. 
Let me just say, I found it very jarring how this one was much more sexually charged compared to PB’s other high school books. PB is usually way more “safe” and PG-13 at most when writing high school characters. Even in books like ROD and WEH, where the characters are 18+ and do have smutty scenes, it’s clear that those books are a lot more restricted compared to the adult cast books.  
I mean, with WEH, the safeness makes sense– it was meant to be a serious and tender story from the start, and it does actually follow through on those themes. But ROD feels like it could have easily been as horny with its writing as MTFL was, what with being about a studious “good girl” who goes rebellious. In fact, the story’s loading screen was pretty infamous at first for looking “steamier” than other covers and loading screens.
In actuality though, ROD had only, what, one smut scene? And despite a lot of MC’s outfits being revealing or arguably sensual, there are practically no moments where MC fawned over how “sexy” a revealing diamond outfit looked. Like, I’m pretty sure there were just little to no sexually charged scenes in general. 
My point is, whatever compelled PB to make MTFL *this* sexualized is beyond me. My guess is the fact that PB called this one a story about “navigating sexuality” and thus wanted to focus more on the aspects of sexuality, but if that’s the case… hoo boy, did they do a terrible job at it. 
I don’t really care about the hypersexualized writing of the teenage characters on its own, or how the characters were initially not confirmed 18+ when the earlier smut scenes were written. What I find far more important is the fact that this sort of cliche and formulaic hypersexualized writing is in a book that markets itself as being about “a young woman navigating love and sexuality for the first time”.
Teens do indeed have sex and can be all over the place with their hormones and sexuality. A lot of us have been there in some way, myself included. And there are ways to talk about that type of stuff in a manner that is silly and/or exaggerated, but still earnest and respectful. But the particular way that MTFL handles super-horny teen sexuality, specifically while claiming to be a coming-of-age story, is neither earnest nor respectful. 
The way this story handles these sorts of topics is the writing equivalent to doing a surgery with Fisher-Price toy surgery tools. It’s genuinely difficult to take MC “navigating her sexuality for the first time” seriously when has to constantly blubber about how Mason and Noah are so muscular or how a diamond outfit has “naughty little thigh highs” or how she wants to do a “down and dirty” cheer routine with Ava for Mason and Noah. 
That last one especially feels like the kind of stuff we’d see more in a campy chick flick that doesn’t take itself seriously. Honestly, if this was a more campy high school book with the tone of DLS or the 2023 movie “Bottoms”, it probably wouldn’t be as glaring. But in a book that markets itself as a coming-of-age story, the tone feels completely off and the whole book honestly felt like it couldn't decide what it wanted to be. 
(Also, while we’re on this topic of MC’s premium outfits, I really fucking despise how MC gets so upset about wearing "mom clothes" if you choose to wear the free modest clothing instead of the revealing diamond outfit in Chapter 2. Ugh. Yes, the dad was being shitty about not letting MC dress how she likes, but all it does is it just makes you feel like shit for not wanting to dress in more revealing clothes. Stop making me feel bad for wanting to wear simple non-revealing clothing. Same goes for you, Chris Romantic Getaway story with your “the regular jerseys aren’t cute enough for girls to wear, we have to cut one up into a cleavage crop top in order to make it good for us girls to wear” bullshit.) 
And it just slaps you in the face with these sexual moments too, placing them in frequently whenever it feels like it, and the amount of it that actually contributed to any coming-of-age navigating-sexuality are few and far between. Honestly, it felt like it was trying way too hard to look "mature" with how it handled sexuality (as well as some of the other stuff like them drinking alcohol). Like it maybe was trying to portray teens realistically, but it only does so at a very shallow level. 
It's literally just "Look at the teens that talk about sex and like doing sexy things and having sex and doing grown-up stuff like drinking alcohol, see how MATUUURRREEE they are!" and they don't do anything more with it. It's just tacked on so they can pretend their book is a realistic story about maturing/being mature, when it fails at actually doing so.
I mean, I guess you could argue that the MC is meant to be seen as more messy and hormonal. And in that case, I could give it a pass. But, again, MC’s supposed arc of “navigating sexuality” never goes anywhere from that until the very last few chapters where you choose which LI she ends up with. It’s pretty much the same crap all throughout the book. MC doesn’t navigate sexuality, she just runs around aimlessly in it like a chicken with its head cut off.
Number 3: All the serious themes they try to have in the story are overshadowed by MC’s stupid indecisiveness plot. 
I’ve already said MTFL tries way too hard to make its story seem “mature” with the trashy way it sexualizes its characters. I’ve said it feels like it doesn’t know what it wants to be. Honestly though, this just sums up MTFL’s writing in general. 
MTFL has quite a handful of subplots, and I will admit, all of them are pretty compelling. You have Ava figuring out she’s lesbian, Mack dealing with gang drama, and Mason and Noah dealing with their past and Mason’s dad’s abusive behaviors. And an admittedly decent arc about MC discovering her love for photography instead of cheerleading. 
And then you have MC going on about how she can’t decide between her love interests, which is just the bad apple of the bunch that ruins the rest. It just makes it very hard to take everything else seriously. You ever seen that one meme where the Power Rangers put their hands in a circle but then a Teletubbie tries to join in? It’s the writing-equivalent to that, and MC’s indecisiveness plot is the Teletubbie. 
And maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if MC’s indecisiveness wasn’t the main focus plot of the whole book. I want to take these other storylines seriously. I want to take this story as a whole seriously. But how can I when the main focus of the story is so god damn shallow? No matter how many "soft positive heartfelt" piano tracks and “so sad and tragic sad” piano tracks from WEH they try put over it, it doesn't change the fact that the focus is MC going on and on about being unable to choose between Mason, Noah, and Ava. 
I get teens are shallow and can have shallow issues, but did we really need it to be that big of a focus of the story? Especially when the way it handles it is completely empty? Something like OG HSS was great because even though a lot of the issues the characters had were seemingly shallow and basic (such as the band fighting over which song to play), they do give a little more depth to it and reason to care about it (ie. Aiden starts to feel like a failure at music because of the band infighting). MTFL just throws MC’s indecisiveness at you for 95 chapters and expects you to take it seriously with nothing else surrounding it. 
And they try to pull the twist on the title at the end where it’s all like “LI and photography, the two greatest loves of MC’s life”. Which is an interesting idea in concept, except it feels so artificial and non-earned when MC’s romance plot was spending 95 chapters being unable to decide between the LIs. 
Number 4: It reuses way too much from HSS. 
I know this is a less severe issue, but I just can’t get past it. Sprites, backgrounds, school colors… even plot points like the corrupt principal embezzling from the school, or MC and LI(s) being locked in a large school room (remember when HSS:CA MC and Ajay were locked in the auditorium?). Heck, even MC having lost her mom and having a photography passion connected to that, rings way too similar to one of Autumn’s arcs from the freaking HSS PRIME GAME! Oh yeah, and both of those characters have a love triangle with a golden boy and a bad boy. Holy hell. 
Easily the most noticeable part is the sprites. In my playthrough, I counted 7 whole HSS sprites that were used in MTFL: Sydney became Iris, Payton became Toni, Frank became this random kid in a flashback for Mason and Noah's past, Morgan became a kid in Elijah's gang named Lucy, Lorenzo became Chad, Aiden's mom became Asian Noah's mom, Skye's dad became White Mason's dad (PB really said use that sprite for abusive dads huh). And there’s probably more, I’m sure. 
And the worst offense? They even reuse the iconic bird's-eye view of Berry High in MTFL. Call me petty if you must, but that's just criminal. It's one thing to reuse and alter a bunch of the sprites, uniforms, and backgrounds from the series but to reuse another book series' iconic background like that? Honestly, it feels rather insulting. They couldn't even be arsed to change the "Go Tigers!" on the football field, that’s how little sense it makes to use that background outside of HSS. Fuck’s sake.
I know it’s kind of the norm for Choices to reuse assets throughout different series, but the fact that they do it so much here and majority of it is from HSS just rubs me the wrong way. At best, it’s jarring and lazy. And at worst, it comes off as trying way too hard to be a “more mature” version of HSS. When in reality, it makes HSS:CA’s side characters look like Citizen Kane in comparison. I mean, at least Clint and Natalie and MC stopped whinging about Rory ⅓rd of the way through the series. 
At least when other high-school-setting books like ROD, WEH, and ILITW were made, they at least somewhat bothered to change up a few things and make it feel like an actually different school. They changed up the backgrounds a bit, used different school colors and uniforms, and didn’t reuse nearly as many sprites from HSS.  
In MTFL, all they did was make new cheer uniforms for the non-reused sprites and remove the Berry High logos from everything HSS that they used. Yeah they made some changes, but it’s clear that they didn’t put nearly the same amount of effort into it as they did in the other high school setting books. 
All it does is just make me miss HSS. Like, stop toying with my heart by piggybacking off of a better series (that has better queer rep too) so much. It’s to the point where it feels like they should have just used the time making this book to instead make a HSS senior year (Which, y’know, would be nice, especially since the sendoff we got in HSS:CA 3 was absolute flaming fucking garbage). 
So… in all honesty, I don’t hate this book. But it had a lot of things that annoyed me to no end and it sure as fuck is disappointing wasted potential. It had a great opportunity to be a nice queer coming-of-age story. But instead it felt like a Kissing Booth rip-off with serious themes only hamfisted in order to make it seem more “mature”.
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colorfulyetsinful · 1 year
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Happy new years everyone!!! I hope everyone had a good nesw years and if not...welp :/
Anways, I got more headcannons! :D
As I mentioned in m last hc post, these are hc I've written on my phone to send to my friend. I thought I write so much hc might as well post them. Also, Jason is Latino bc I’m Latino and I say so.
Ok, headcannon time!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Batfam Accents
Dick:
Has a Romani / European accent
It’s a bit watered-down bc of him traveling in the circus
He knew english, but it was very broken
Or it sounded broken with how heavy his accent was
He learned how to switch accent and talk proper American english after becoming Robin as a way to further mask his identity
When he’s Robin and upset, he talks in his born dialect,
but in an American accent...
Yes, it is very funny
The teen titans thought he was going craz when he code switch
“Wait, you’re not (American) White?”
“Now where the fu-”
He uses his accent when in civilian form to keep the image
Jason:
Is an immigrant from Dominican Republic,
but immigrated when he was a baby
He only knew Spanish for the first few years of his life, until his mother died
His accent is also watered-down, but it's still strong to your genric American
It works when being questioned by the police,
just pretend you don't know english
As he got older and learned more english his accent basically went away (Still there, technology, just not as stronger)
Since he's from Gotham's streets, he has a heavy Jersey/Gotham accent (If you ever heard a jersey-ian (?) talk then you know what I'm talking about)
When he met Batman, he tried to play the "No Hablo inglés"
and Bruce pulls the uno reverse card and starts throwing spanish right back at him
"Abort mission"
When he teams up with Roy, Roy find him hot when he speaks spanish
He also teaches Lian spanish bc "I'm basically raising her too, Roy. That's my child as much as she is your's, and I'm teaching her spanish, danmmit"
Tim:
The only one withot an accent,
like he has a Gotham accent, but its posh Gotham (people with these accents are rich and think their shit dont stink)
Knows Korean and Yiddish fluently
Bc Tim is haft asian (I hc him as Korean and Jewish) and rich, ofc his parents had him learn a bunch of languages
Languages such as; Japanese, Italian, Portuguese, Spanish, and Mandarin
One time the YJ (who didn't know his identity) ran into his civilian personal at a banquet and he had to speak Korean
Yj was on a mission, however, to watch over him (much to his displeasure) and he had to pretend to only speak Korean the whole night
When frustrated and/or in pain, he switches to one of the many languages he know
"What is your ethnicity? You're fluent in too many languages"
"Human. No more questions"
Damian:
Is actually an immigrant
(At least, I believe so...corrent me if im wrong)
His accent is the heaviest out of all of them bc he grew up in the middle east for a good chunk of his life
He hides it with posh European english (how he was taught english)
Knows a lot of languages bc Talia said knowing all of them is important
He doesn't know Cantonese, Portugese, or Hawaiian
Still getting use to speaking more in english and not Arabic
Still wasn't able to properly mask his accent yet as some words are weird to pronounce.
Cassandra:
Is taking speach therapy so she also doesn't really have an accent
She just speaks broken english bc she's getting used to talking
Talks very softly
Uses ASL mostly as it is an easier wa to communicate
Slowly gaining a Canadian accent bc her speech instructor is from Canada
Duke:
Like jason, also has a Gotham/Jersey accent
Grew up in regular gotham streets, unlike Tim, so it's more slang words
The "Blaccent"
Is very heavy, like he cant turn it off
which is fine bc he's a gotham base vigilante
Teaches Damian Jersey slang
Bonce!!!!
Bruce also has a posh Jersey accent that Tim as bc all rich and high society do
and Alfred is obviously british
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trashlie · 5 months
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it's good to see you around again, I missed reading your long ILY posts, hope you're doing better too :) if you ever share your thoughts on the latest couple of episodes (including fp) here, I'd be super excited to read them! I'm really curious how you think the timeline is gonna go from here - especially relating to Shin-Ae and Nolan since it feels like they are the last pieces that need to fall into place so everything is ready for the post-timeskip story to go down. like you, I was so sure Nol and Shin-Ae were going to have some kind of reconciliation before he goes to jail but WELP rip 3 day extension. Poor guy though, Yui showing up in his hospital room must have been extremely triggering, it made sense that he did everything to get outta there ASAP. It's worrying me that this series of negative interactions (Kousuke, Alyssa, Yui) could've undone everything positive Shin-Ae Dieter Soushi Nana did, and now therapy during jail time could either have a positive or negative effect, so Nol is a Schroedinger's cat for now.... At least some things got cleared up and Shin-Ae is now starting to understand the root of the problem (= Yui) (and it actually really makes sense that she had to figure it out herself instead of Nol telling her - the boy obviously isn't ready to talk) so we made some progress.... But istg with this upcoming separation arc 2.0 it feels so much like we're gonna be back at ground zero after the first time skip. Fingers crossed they reconcile in whatever way before the big time skip though. we need a somewhat positive conclusion to this arc before season 1 ends, because if not then what was all this build up for, and why now? What about the realizations? the "convince me"? What about "if you won't let me have you"? If their reconciliation is only going to happen after multiple years of "conflict" between them that would be so cruel....
AND SHIN-AE STILL HASN'T GOTTEN HER BANDANA BACK and now he's stealing her lines too SDGDADSF;SDF
Waaaahhhhh thank you, friend!!! As you can probably tell, I'm still trying to get myself back here fully and figure out how to balance everything, which has always been a struggle ;~; I really may resort to telling my friends to ignore me and yell at me until I get certain posts written up so I'll stop procrastinating because there are SO MANY THINGS I WANT TO WRITE ABOUT EPISODES I WANT TO RECAP AND TALK ABOUT!!!! BUT THE ORGANIZING MYSELF!!!! IS THE PART THAT'S SO DIFFICULT!!!!!!!!
One of the great things about the ILY discord server is that we have this very constant, active conversation going on at all times so it's SO easy to be very present and active, but I also find that it means it's more difficult for me to regulate myself, or I'll have that feeling that I JUST talked about something and so when I try to write about it over here, it feels like a hollow echo and I know that's just because I was just having the conversation so that's just something I need to work on dealing with lol
But I want to answer this before we move so far away from when you asked this!!!!! As expected, there are FP spoilers ahead for eps 246 through 249!!!!!
I!!!! DO NOT KNOW!!!!!!! LMAO Like. GOD. I feel like quimchee has thrown us curveball after curveball and when we sit down and think about how long this period of December 21 and the post December 21 arc has been, how much the story has weaved around?! There are so many things that have occurred that I NEVER expected and, like you, it's just everything I thought has clearly gone out the window. Part of it, I think, is the result of quimchee having to change the arrangement of her story, and god I would love to pick her brain about the things that changed, since Nol's injury was supposed to happen at the formal itself, we never would have had this extended period of hospital time, and it seems like everything about Nol and Shinae coming to realization with their feelings would have played out in a wholly different way than what we ended up getting, so on some level I think this is partly that quimchee, too, is sort of throwing herself cureveballs in that there are things she knows needs to happen and she isn't sure where or how to fit the other elements in? But that's just my guess.
On the one hand, I do feel very "WHAT WAS THE EXTENSION FOR IF NOT FOR RECONCILIATION?!" but beyond Stalkyoo, we have gotten a LOT of good stuff out of this period of time. We see Kousuke facing his cognitive dissonance for, perhaps, the first time, and the revelation that Yui has been drugging him (and likely for a long time, given the way Hansuke describe the dosage Kousuke had and that it merely knocked him out), and more than that, making those connections between Nol and Yui and tea, and wanting to face him. I'm STILL proud of him for wanting to go back and see Nol again, even after he couldn't face him, even after Hansuke found him on the floor of a public bathroom hugging a toilet from the remorse and guilt and perhaps shame of the realization of the ways he has hurt people - has hurt Nol! - who didn't deserve it. We have seen that Rand and Yujing are, in fact, working on something behind the scenes, that Rand is facing Yui as a real adversary now, not just someone who has been resigned to endure her for so many years now, but to actually fight against her. The entirety of Nol's birthday celebration could not have happened the way it did had he not been in the hospital, since he would have had to turn himself in, and while maybe the original plan was that they celebrated his birthday with Minhyuk's coming home party, I'm.... not sure if that would have been the case?
But at at any rate, I do acknowledge that despite the fact that it feels like Nol might be back at square one, that he and Shinae are back where they started in 151, such significant events HAVE taken place that I think will still affect the narrative future of ILY. I still feel strongly that part of Nol's trajectory is coming to terms with the fact that he does, indeed, belong here. That he isn't someone who wasn't meant to be, that he doesn't belong here. He belongs, and he deserves love. He is someone, not nothing. I still think one of his greater arcs will involve coming to embrace this, and while the negative events - Kousuke, Alyssa, Yui - feel like they could be setting him back, he is now equipped with knowledge and feelings he wasn't before. It can't hurt him the same. In fact, I think part of why his confrontation with Alyssa went the way it did was because he had had this experience with Shinae, Dieter, and Soushi, it illuminated everything that was so wrong with his relationship with Alyssa, how neither of them really know each other. It's that sense of foiling that allows him to put his foot down and say enough is enough. Even before it was revealed that Alyssa had come with Yui, it was clear that Nol was over the visit. Don't get me wrong - I understand why he couldn't see that Alyssa clearly was not well, that she was uncomfortable, that she had come to him with no one else to go to, much as he'd gone to Kousuke in the past when he lost his mom, and I also understand why he did the same thing Kousuke did and turned her away. But the point I'm getting at is, it feels like there was a shift. That birthday celebration illuminated something for Nol.
So it's kind of like, while it feels like this might have undone the progress Nol made, it can't undone the revelations he's had, and in that same way, it cannot cast shadow on his enlightenment. He is not the same Nol he was a week ago. Too much has changed, he's become aware of too much, and as such, he is going to respond differently to what comes his way, and while he may continue to try what he had originally intended, I think the difference is that he's now been made aware of things that impact the choices he makes.
But largely I don't really know what I expect just yet. I think it's very pointed that the lawyer reminded Shinae that she has his phone number; I don't think that would be called out if it wasn't going to be important in some way, but in terms of how are we going from here to there? Unsure lol. I think there HAS to be a resolution of some kind, whether it's a reconciliation or not, because Shinae is on this momentum swing that isn't going to stop until she crashes into something or she comes into a force of nature that stops her. Nothing, no one, has been able to reach her or get through to her, and I know it's just because of how much she's hurting, but she's lashing out at people and hurting THEM like a street cat swiping at people trying to help her. She's so terrified of losing Nol, especially now that he came back, especially now that she gave him the option to leave and he didn't and it rekindled that hope she gave him an opening to leave when it would have been easier and he didn't which just made it worse, because so much more was at stake. She can't stop fighting she can't stop trying because she cannot bear what it means to lose him for real this time, not when she finally had him back, not when that realization has come to her even if she won't admit it. She needs him, so what's going to make her give up?
Something has to transpire, whether it's a reconciliation or Nol pushing her away and really shattering her heart or something awful like that, to bring her to a halt, because I can't imagine how we would move into our mini time skip to spring/graduation with Shinae like this, right? So I think there must be some kind of resolution. My foolish, hopeless self wants so badly to hope for reconciliation but esp after 249 I am SO torn. I have two thoughts.
a. they reconcile. She can reach him, and convince him, and even though he is so afraid, he is also someone who folds in front of her, he struggles to resist her. He told her to convince him and boy she can convince him and even though he tells himself he isn't sure if these feelings are real because what if it's just because she's NICE to him I think hearing her confess her feelings would tell him how he feels and give him the answer.
b. But the alternative feels like a parallel to Nessa and Rand, because Nessa, too, was hurt over and over by someone who kept getting her hopes up and getting hurt by him. Shinae gave Nol the opportunity to leave and he didn't, he stayed and doing so sparked her hope, made her feel things, they shared these tender, intimate moments together and forced that realization to come to mind, but for him to push her away again, for her safety, to make choices on her behalf even though she's told him she hates that and she doesn't want him to. Imagine her pulling a Nessa and calling him scum lfkjajkfkjfjkfaj ;A;!!!!! Imagine her so angry and hurt and resentful and saying awful things she doesn't mean and GOD I feel like it can go only one of these ways because what ELSE is going to stop her in her tracks?!
And I really want a reconciliation because parting like this sets them up for SO. MUCH. STRIFE. Because we know one way or another Shinae is going to end up taking Yui's offer and if Nol leaves on these terms, he would end up thinking she's following in Alyssa's footsteps doing so, not understanding WHY she's doing, not understanding that this is Shinae's only way of protecting herself, learning to speak Yui's language and play her game.
and idk I know I'm a hopeful optimist reading a webtoon that proves to me over and over that I cannot be a hopeful optimist but LMAO GOD I WANT SHINAE TO CONVINCE THAT DUMBO
I've said it before that convincing him doesn't mean they have to get into a relationship. Just. Reconcile. She's so afraid of LOSING HIM, thinking that once he slips away he's out of her grasp, her sight, for good, that she will lose the best thing that happened to her and I WANT THAT RECONCILATION. I want her to convince him, for both their sakes. So that he knows he has someone he can go back to. So that she knows he's not just throwing her away. So that she doesn't have to fear losing something so precious and important.
Am I foolish and hopeful for hoping for that outcome? Maybe, but it won't stop me LMAO because as delicious and angsty as Shinae and Nol following in Ressa's footsteps with Nol hurting her again and leaving her so hurt and angry is, I want to see them on that same page. I want to see Shinae convince him - convince him why he is so important to her, and that his feelings are real. That's the thing, right, like.... you can tell yourself that your feelings aren't real, but if the person you like confesses to you, your heart will inevitably betray you and respond to the confession. Nol fears for Shinae's safety but important puzzle pieces are falling into place. She has figured what he fears the most - and if she thinks hard enough she'll realize how she can use that to her "advantage", in that Rand has told her Yui will never let her go, that it doesn't matter if Nol leaves or not. It goes back to my oft repeated sentiment of them needing to be on the same page, to be a team, because his absence will not protect her. And between what Rand told her, plus her anecdotes about Kousuke's birthday and how Yui treated her even before the formal, and what Yujing told Nol about Kousuke being drugged by Yui, maybe, just MAYBE that conclusion that wasn't only him all along will finally hit him. I know he can't change over night, that he has so many deeply ingrained fears that won't be easily assuaged, but I have to hope that a confession from Shinae can convince him that the alternative is worse. Convince him to fight along side her ;A;
I go back and forth on this thought but I think this is strongly what I feel right now. That reconciliation could still be around the corner, even if it's just an admission and a promise to not push her away. Shinae is tired of people acting on her behalf, tired of not getting a say, and especially in something that involves her heart, her feelings?
Go fight girl and maybe bite him if that's what it takes ;A;
STEALING HER BANDANA. HER LINES. HERT HEART. THIS MAN DESERVES TO BE LOCKED AWAY
ALFJLFJLFKJLAFKJLKFJALKFJ
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thebearme · 9 months
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Chie and yosuke headcanons???
(also I love your pikmen art)
WOOHOO!!! CHIE & YOSUKE HC SPEEDRUN LETS GO!!
The two are siblings energy (srry yochie shippers, they're gay in this house!)
Both have bi wife energy.
They have little "sleepovers" where they dye their hair then Chie raids the fridge and sleeps on the couch.
They are the type of bestie that say the fucking RUDEST UNCALLED FOR SHIT to each other and be cool by next week.
Fr tho sometimes they hit a nerve and then the other would get the silent treatment or a kick to the balls.
Yosuke sometimes dogsits for Chie.
Chie and Yosuke both have a crush on Beyonce.
Yosuke LOVES scaring her.
Chie has many siblings (she's a middle child) while Yosuke is a only child.
The twos theme song IS childish war.
The first time Yosuke got kicked was when he put a bug in her face as a joke.
Chie used to help Yosuke when he fell but it just happened too often so she stopped.
The two are wealthy. Chie comes from old money while Yosuke's new.
Chie's wealth did start going down because of Junes but she CAN'T completely blame Yosuke like the town does, it's not his fault.
Because of her family tighter budget especially on food, Chie would go hungry alot of the time. (mostly cause she would give alot of her food to her siblings) Chie wouldn't tell anyone ESPECIALLY YOSUKE! But Yosuke would catch on after all the demands for stake.
This leads Chie to help out Yosuke at work for some cash. (she would tell her fam that yosuke beg her to help instead of saying she's working there.)
Chie's families business is one of the places Junes collaborates with in the epilogue. 
Chie is one of the rare people Yosuke finds in his life that LIKES FROGS! at least she doesn't hate them
Yosuke let her try some of his weed. It was a interesting experience.
When Yosuke talks about his time in the city to Chie she finds the 'cities' part fun but not much the people. She can tell Yosuke is looking at his past friends with rose tinted glasses, they sound like assholes.
The two would realize that they BOTH have a self-sacrifice nature and that it's bad. fr like i love you both but you two need therapy
Chie shares her bandage with Yosuke after battle.
Chie has met Yosuke's parents before and 1) THEY'RE SO NICE SHE CANT BE MAD AT THEM BECUZ OF JUNES. 2) Yosuke's mom is hot.
Yosuke would fully plan out a murder if She EVER says that tho.
Yosuke would carry Chie home when she injure herself while training at the riverbank.
As much Chie wants to roast him, he does play a damn good guitar riff.
Welp that's all I can think of for now (and ty for the pikmin thing)
ENJOY!
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angelkitty54 · 1 year
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Shower thoughts, inspired a little bit by a discord conversation I had!
So, I like the idea of Raph having a mild phobia of rabbits thanks to Mrs Cuddles. Mikey decides to help Raph conquer his fear via exposure therapy. Or at least thats the excuse he and Leo use when they come home one day with a cute little pet bunny rabbit.
Everyone else is immediately suspicious of the fact they bought it from a pet shop in the Hidden City. Like there's no way this is a normal rabbit if its from the Hidden City, right?
Well, technically they'd be right, coz that particular shop sold animals with the souls of ancient warriors! And this little bunny contains the reincarnated soul of the great samurai warrior Miyamoto Usagi. Not that anyone knows it tho, given that he thinks, feels, and behaves like an ordinary, if not highly intelligent, rabbit. He may have been a samurai in his past life, but right now, he's a humble bunny rabbit.
Anywhizzle, Mikey and Leo were supposed to share the responsibility of caring for their bunny, but it very quickly becomes Leo's pet more than Mikey's. We all know Leo's into magic and that rabbits are magician's assistants right? Well, the first time he tried teaching their new bunny to do a magic trick, he instantly understood the assignment and performed magnificently, and Leo has been enamored ever since. He is now a proud and doting rabbit-dad.
Mikey is only a little upset that their bunny also seems to like Leo more than him. He thinks Leo cooing over this bunny is the cutest thing ever, so he can't really be too mad. Oh, and Raph has actually made some progress with his phobia, in that he can be in the room with Usagi bunny for an extended period of time without freaking out. Provided they are not alone that is.
Should also note that Usagi bunny always looks competently serious all the time. Just imagine this cute little bunny performing all these fun little tricks, or getting cuddles and kisses, while having this dead serious resting bitch face.
Now, am thinking about how there are probably still a bunch of Draxum's oozesquitoes still flying out there. And thinking about how in the 2012 series Raph's pet turtle accidentally got mutated. Welp, we can all probably see where this thought is going... ;)
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cozza-frenzy · 11 months
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Welp. Guess there's nothing else for it at this point... I'm feeling brave tonight, and I plan on riding this wagon until it crashes into something and explodes, so here we go. Content Warning for childhood trauma and mental health issues. If you want to skip this part, I'll indicate further down where it gets a bit less "dark", but further down is something about me I feel like y'all should know.
I'm Terry, as quite a lot of you know. I'm 35 years old, and for most of my life the inside of my head was... a very, VERY noisy place. It felt like I was constantly accosted by intrusive thoughts, weird compulsions, memories from my past that randomly blindsided me and disappeared just as quickly down the "memory hole". This stemmed from a huge amount of abuse I suffered throughout my childhood; experiencing bullying at school, in shared spaces, and at home. I learned over time and a lot of therapy what was causing at least SOME of this and got names for it. C-PTSD (Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). Dissociative Amnesia. Some of it, I even blamed on my autism. I figured having a constant sensory overload inside your own head was just how things worked for people like me. And then, a little over a week ago now... I hurt someone unintentionally, got very upset at myself, and had an extremely bad migraine. And while I wasn't conscious, somebody else woke up. Someone who, it turns out, I could talk to... and they were very, very happy to see me. There was another one, too, who was very scared but eventually came out when they realized we weren't going to hurt them. And from there, they started to grow... telling me who they were, and why they were here. (This is where the 'darker' stuff ends.)
So, yeah. I haven't had an official diagnosis yet, but it's looking extremely likely that I have OSDD - a type of DID, or Dissociative Identity Disorder, also known as Multiple Personalities. The specific symptoms I'm showing mean that the 'alters' - the various personalities - don't have amnesia, so we're all aware of each other and can co-operate on tasks. There are five of us so far - me (Terry), Chaos, Taffy, Hyi and "Roses" (who for personal/privacy reasons is going by a pseudonym in public spaces for now). Collectively, we call ourselves the Magical Mystery Box, or the Magbox/Mbox for short. If this is a problem for any of my followers; as usual, y'all know where the door is. I literally do not care if you unfollow. I'm not here to participate in any self-DX or discourse bullshit, we're literally just trying to cope with the fact there are now multiple gremlins (affectionate) running around inside our shared head, and we've had to learn How To Human all over again because we somehow managed to suppress this until NOW. I'll let my "alters" introduce themselves in a separate post - rest assured, they are all nice! But yeah, uh… surprise! Turns out we're a system, and I'm actually multiple people wearing a metaphorical trenchcoat. I'm going to bed and hopefully don't regret this...
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avisperocustom · 1 year
Text
What I did to manifest my SP back:
Hi guys! You seemed interested in how I manifested my SP2, Teddy, back into my life after three years of full no contact, in only two weeks.
So! Teddy and I had a relationship years ago. We had a rather toxic fallout, a lot of fighting, messy word exchanges, horrible. After a while, we both went no contact. I thought of him for years, and well I thought nothing else was going to happen, but then I began thinking of him... positively.
WHAT I DID DURING THAT TIME:
While I began fully manifesting in two weeks, the rest of my time wasn't idle. I worked out, I ate better, I focused on myself in ways that have helped me feel better about myself.
MY SELF CONCEPT WAS KEY! I went to therapy, I got my sunlight in, changed my mindset to be healthier. And while I still spiral at times, my general self concept has improved dramatically.
I thought I'd just never see Teddy again, I even thought he had moved away! At least I had been told so. And so I said, oh well, "Teddy is always going to be my darling. Hope he's doing well."
Two weeks later, I get warned by my other sp, Bunny, that Teddy will be at an event we're going to. But hey, we might not bump into each other it's cool. We not only bump into each other. He runs towards me, greets me and grips me as if I was going to vanish if he didn't. And.. he'd completely changed. His hair was different, he was taller, he had different piercings, more tattoos, dressed completely different. His voice was different, even! A completely different person, who not only smiled more, but was more communicative. At one point during the night, I lose Teddy in the crowd and I thought welp, that's it.
But I knew if there's a will, there's a way. I manifested that he'd want to be in contact with me. I repeated that he'd want to be with me and spend time with me. I visualized us dancing together, us growing together.
I found his phone number, which I thought I had deleted, but suddenly was right there among my things. I texted him, as friends. Months later, after hanging out over and over and finding excuses to see each other, he breaks down, crying, saying that he's fallen right back in love with me and that we should take things slow because he wants to spend his life with me right next to him, and if he can spoil and pamper me as much as he can he will. I'm his angel, I'm his darling, he looks at me and physically lights up a room with how excited he gets. He said he missed me every single day we were apart, and that now he can't imagine me away from his life.
The lesson to take from this? SELF CONCEPT. SELF CONCEPT. SELF!!! CONCEPT!!! It's the most important thing to keep up. Trust yourself, and know that everything is working for you.
If there's a will, there's a way.
Just trust in yourself, trust in your own power. And know you'll be rewarded immensely.
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claudiajcregg · 8 months
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i'd love to hear any behind the scenes you have on 'say it's here where our pieces fall in place' bc i read it and loved it and i want to know about it 💜
Welp, I've been thinking about this since you sent it and I feel I won't do it justice! I feel like I could say a lot if I went chapter by chapter, but many tabs of unread fics stare back at me. I'll skim and try to say something, though.
Some commentary on say it's here where our pieces fall in place under the cut! I am sick and rambly. And lbr I can never shut up anyway, but this might be too incoherent even for me. (Original ask post here)
It was sort of an unofficial NaNoWriMo project, in that I set myself a goal to tackle “longer fics” or ideas I wanted to cover but hadn't. From my notes, I had this idea to write a ficlet per year because I always enjoy this kind of story, and I know I'd tried to approach different ones in the past. I started writing in late October/finished in Nov 2021. (The other fic I started was never finished, even if dammit, it hits.) I posted it in January, so it wasn't that bad, considering I'll often take months.
It's maybe important to note that I had only finished writing “The Monster (affectionate)” (aka the 148k-ish word IM AU) in early September and I felt a bit burned out after spending five months writing that (would’ve been less but the struggle was real for the last third of the story. Oddly reminiscing of you-know-what story these days). This arbitrary deadline helped me get back into writing. Granted, I wrote a couple of fics in those five months, but I wanted to try another multichapter.
Anyway. I picked some random, perhaps not obvious choices for the vignettes. It was partly to avoid writing something I might have potentially covered at one point, and also a challenge. Some are also strange (the dream!), but I kinda loved it? (Fun fact: the fic references the Sherry-Netherland, whose exterior is the establishing shot in Internal Displacement. I swear there is some thought put into my writing.) And as the A/N I wrote to myself, I definitely wrote and rewrote bits and pieces of this on my way to and from therapy, haha.
Let me find a fun fact about each of the chapters, if I can think of any.
1998: actually repurposed some campaign fic idea I distinctly remember writing in spring 2018, while I was still in uni. It also has GLOVES. I live for that.
1999: I like the idea of exploring Danny and Abbey's relationship! They presumably have a good one and yet, I don't think we ever see them interact. (And god. Danny's recent, pre-campaign breakup is a recurring theme in my campaign stories too, loool.)
2000: Danny and Josh are an underrated friendship, and I like the references to Rosslyn. There was so much in those months in Midterms that we didn't see, and I like thinking Danny visited his friend.
We also got two back-to-back chapters focused on Danny - I remember trying to make it even, so that the focus was more or less evenly split.
2001: the Manchester fuckup! And it's one of the dream chapters! There were two of them? (We're 3 out of 4 in which I was surprised by the focus, but now I kinda want to re-read it all properly?) I'll say that I can see some vague, unconscious inspo from Freefall by KadeeFalls in this chapter (esp since I was just talking to you about it)... But I'm mostly obsessed with the magical realism (there's another term that my foggy brain cannot think of rn) of dreams, and how it can help us clear our heads.
2002: I remembered this was set after Simon! I know it's probably an odd, controversial choice but they both tried to move on (at least, we know CJ did), and it felt disingenuous not to include it. There are moments when she almost admits to her previous (?) feelings for Danny, but stops.
As with most thus far, there were fluffier and probably better choices for 2002 (Christmas!!), but... My brain wanted it to appear like CJ couldn't really bring herself to think about Danny.
2003: Aw, the specialty store is inspired by a franchise over here that had Goldfish (not many flavors) and I took a dramatic license and added it over there. I also added a small flashback because I love thinking Danny doesn't think they're all that but likes them. (But will tease CJ about it.) Plus, some more resolution to moving on!
2004: Yeah, the formatting is weird. (This is one I'd have to go back and do a blockquote or something.) Danny winning a Pulitzer for the Shareef stuff is a mostly accepted headcanon. CJ seeing his picture on the paper and having feels is just something I love, especially if he mentions someone else. (Look. I'm all for letting him pine, but he deserves to move on and fail too.) Plus Josh teasing her!
2005: The Sherry-Netherland! fwiw, I'm sure I had finally figured out this was the place and decided it would be so cheeky to add it here. I'm so sMaRt. Flowers when she gets promoted! And my spin (in this story) of CJ vaguely shunning him. This is the angst before the fluff.
2006: I remembered this one was a dream at some restaurant! (Again the formatting is not great, but I didn't want to tip my obvious hand.) The same way I think CJ's dream in 2001 was about her wondering how Danny would have reacted, this is about Danny realizing he needs to reach out to her... But with the added family ~tale~. Def inspired by that lyric in "Sad Beautiful Tragic."
2007: I feel like having it at some random dinner with Josh and Donna was an odd choice, but I loved the idea of a double date! The scarf scene is just so! And the chaos siblings energy is great. It was a reprieve from the angst.
Meeting at LAX was right there! I had written a story or two trying to do it justice, so I'm guessing that's why it's not. And fwiw the airport story I wrote shortly after that is the one being posted ~soon~. (A rewritten, slightly expanded version.)
2008: Pregnancy mood swings! It hurt to make them fight, but it's so fluffy otherwise. From what I remember, it has various references to things that happen in the story (particularly from the first two chapters) but it still manages to close it rather nicely, showing how strong their marriage is. I hope.
Okay. This has gotten way too long and it's probably useless.
I've always said I could have written another 11 chapters using different scenes, because there are just so many, even outside the obvious ones... Though I feel I wouldn't be able to recapture the magic.
I do definitely want to reread this for real. As with many fics, it's one of those I used to reread often before posting it (especially the last quarter/third) and then just ignored after. See some other recent examples, such as memoir fic, Portland fic.
Thank you for asking, Ally! God, I used to be a good writer. What happened?!??!
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lorata · 2 years
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How much of the detox for Centre kids is getting “I would have been Victor”/“I could have been a contendah!” syndrome out of their heads? Especially in an off-year/non-Career year, or a fluke year where something flipped the narrative?
so this is actually why they pull the Seniors out before the Arena -- because if they sit there listening to the trainers pull apart the mistakes the dead classmate made, 1) it's traumatizing but 2) the odds they will sit there going "I wouldn't have done that" start rising exponentially. it's helpful for the younger ones, to minimize the risk of them repeating the mistake later. for the ones who've graduated, they aren't going in, and you really want them grateful for their volunteer, not resentful
how much it works, at least right away, depends on the Arena
so like, Selene? NONE. zip, zero, zilch, she saw Petra's win and was like NOPE NO THANK YOU DO NOT WANT, she would have died right there in the mud, hats off to you Petra now let's run 50 million laps because she can hooooooly shit she's cured
(she has other issues! obviously! but "that could've been me" ain't one of them)
Petra, meanwhile, in the Victor Selene AUs, that is like ... her entire deal. she's full-on suicidal for months, multiple actual attempts, and it takes intense therapy and Brutus coming to visit her in detox and talk to her to get her out of that rut
Claudius' running mates were like ha ha ha WOW no thanks! that sucked! because yes on the one hand, boooo easy! it's all kids! but the trainers impressed on them very early that this was a trap, and Claudius and his mentor did something very smart and it was going to cost them later, so don't think he got lucky just because the Arena was full of twelve-year-olds. his classmates walked out of there like mmmyeah no okay we're good.
meanwhile Devon, we all know that what's name, Gavin? Gareth? (SORRY DUDE I FORGET YOUR NAME) has a bug up his ear even a year later convinced he could have won! he could have won more impressively! and they do what they can in detox but they can't, like, keep him there forever over this one issue, so they do what they can with him but obviously it's a burning resentment for a long time. obviously he's wrong and he will get over it, eventually, but mostly because nobody likes hearing it and at some point someone who knows more about the victor circuit (probably one of the PKs) will overhear him and knock him around a bit
I think Misha's Arena was one that could have led to like, hey that wasn't so bad, I could've done that! but Misha was just so good that they all watched like, holy shit, holy shit yeah no I would not have been that awesome, oh my god. ditto Claudius' year-mates knew years ago that he was going in unless he got put down for being too wild, so, not a surprise. Enobaria's were probably similar.
regarding years when it's NOT a Two year --
Creed's death was sort of preventable in that he fell asleep, if he had rested it might not have happened, but I think it was so awful that none of the others in his year were like "well RIP to him but I'm different". like if he'd died right there, then sure! they might have been like DUDE! take a nap! I would have remembered to sleep! but it took him so long to die that any thought of woulda-coulda-shoulda just ... bled out. (badum-pssh?)
I do think it still depends, like there are years where the Careers flat-out made mistakes -- taking too long to gloat, or falling asleep under Katniss' tree without setting a guard -- where those watching could be like, well that was dumb, I wouldn't have done that. and then there's Beetee, or Wiress, or Cecelia, or any of the ones where a tribute targets the Careers using poison or electricity or whatever, the runner-ups would be like WELP I'd be dead, glad that wasn't me! yikes!! and ones like Felix and Sloane, where someone fights and fights and fights and does their absolute damn best and dies anyway -- it's hard to look at that and go, well *I* would have just not died there. I mean, some do! but that's what the detox therapy is for.
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sun-lit-roses · 11 months
Text
The Torment of Tantalus
Woohoo, I’m on a roll! The last episode really made me want some more Stargate, so let’s see what Season 1, Episode 11 will bring. Is it greedy to ask for another new planet?
Are they turning the stargate by HAND?
Ah, old timey stargating.
Hey, Daniel’s as impressed as I am!
Two days of tests?? Jack, I would also be doing anything at all to avoid that.
Woah, that doesn’t look a record of a failure to me!
Wait, where are the old timey team going? Are they in a diving suit? Well, one guy. That’s not going to work.
Nope, that sure didn’t work.
Back to the present! Holy shit indeed, Jack.
And who is this lady?
Catherine! 
Who’s Catherine?
Someone who Daniel told about the stargate. Wait, who already knew about the stargate?
Oh good, old timey misogyny.
Earnest, the woman just solved your gate problem while looking stunning and giving you a neck rub. If you don’t snatch her up, I will.
Wait, was she part of the people researching it before Jack, et al started going through?
Is Daniel supposed to just pop a secret recording into any old VCR? Or remove it from base? I know it’s been declassified, but that doesn’t exactly mean let’s have a movie night.
So she worked on the stargate and brought Daniel in?
Ah hah, he isn’t supposed to be sharing this. This will not go well.
Nope, this isn’t going well.
Aw, Jack knows Catherine as well!
Did Jack just call the General a teddy bear?
She did used to run the program!
Rescue mission time!
Sam, too? Everyone knows Catherine!
Aw, the General is a teddy bear. No man left behind.
Wait, if she worked on the stargate, why has she never seen it in action? Or gone through it? I’m a little fuzzy on the time line.
Jack isn’t going to kick her through like Sam, is he?
Oh no, much nicer. I would like to know everyone’s backstory with Catherine. They all seem to love her!
Looks very abandoned.
Earnest? Hello, Earnest?
Is that man naked? Wait is that Earnest?
Sam’s little duck out of the way is priceless 😂 Don’t want a hug from the naked guy, Sam?
Wait, what was that? I was kind of expecting some sort of emotional reunion?
Exactly, Catherine! Fifty years and she gets that??
Oh man, he’s been stranded here alone for fifty years? That’s horrifying. What’s he been doing for food?
Is there some sort of alien who’s been masquerading as Catherine? Or has he just been hallucinating?
This is very heart wrenching, but maybe they should first take him back, get him some clothes, maybe an extensive amount of therapy?
Also this castle does not look very stable.
Wait, that’s what DHD stands for? Dial Home Device?
Welp, guess that is not going to dial home, whatever it’s called.
Is there an alternative, can they turn it by hand?
Once again, Sam to the rescue! Hopefully!
Cool! Four aliens races! I like the idea of a Space UN.
Pretty floaty things!
Pretty floaty atoms, apparently.
Atoms as the universal language - chemists will be very smug.
That is very cool, but I’m with Jack. Learning the secrets of the universe won’t help very much if they’re all dead.
Ooo that’s a very creaky roof.
And we have power!
Briefly.
Jack to the rescue!
That DHD is definitely not DHD-ing again.
You know, if they need power now that the DHD is a giant hole in the floor, that library thing with the pretty floaty atoms looked like it had power - at least the middle glowed red. Glowing red thing probably means power. Oh, I bet Daniel would not be happy if that’s the solution.
Uh oh, it looks like this delegation came to the same conclusion that I did.
...and Daniel is not happy.
Yes! Some fire stick action!
Although it doesn’t seem to have done much. Et tu episode? Why are you all thwarting my love of the fire stick?
Ben Franklin thing? They’re going to fly a kite?
Ah, rig up a lightning rod. And pray a lot, it sounds like. 😬
Earnest is talking a lot more now! Must have just been rusty.
Aw, here’s the emotional reunion I was looking for 💛 ‘Sometimes what we already possess has more worth.’
I can appreciate the excitement of this discovery, but Daniel is being more than a little short-sighted and selfish here.
I like this talk between Earnest and Daniel, too. ‘No prize is worth attaining if it cannot be shared.’
Good, finally listening to reason and evacuating!
Oh no, are they going to make it?!
Yay, there they are!
The gate looks tired.
No more Space UN. You know, if they had to abandon that location because of the instability, they probably built a new one. Buck up, Daniel!
Hugs for everybody! Except Sam. I hope someone remembers to hug her as well.
Rating:  🔘🔘🔘🔘 
4/5 Gates Interesting premise, I liked Catherine just as much as everyone in the show did and I hope she comes back, Daniel annoyed me but I’m glad he didn’t die and it does seem like it’s in-character for him to lose sight of the big picture based on the episodes so far, Sam got to genius, and there was even a tiny bit of fire stick action! I’m wondering if I should adjust my scoring, but this episode and the last were good times.
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fuckifiknow7 · 6 months
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WELP IT HAPPENED!!!!!!!! For the first time ever a few days ago I leaked…..and the crazy part is that I wasn’t even 1/3 of the way through peeing ON THE FIRST PEE that it leaked. Didn’t even hardly absorb it and I even controlled the flow so it could have time to absorb before adding more pee to it. Absolutely LOVE alphagators but I had to stop using them bc of the cloth back. I’ve noticed it won’t hold the pee and will leak a bit in the back/butt area where you sit so I had to switch to plastic backed ones. Though I’m sure it was funny to watch my face and afterwards, bc daddy was at work and I was stuck with this big puddle of pee on the floor around my feet and the paper towels were on the other side of the kitchen……I’m sure daddy would have loved to laugh and watch that clean up process! 😂 I was struggling big time LOL! (Luckily I was dying my hair so I just sat on a pad on the bed naked till it was time to go to the shower.)
I didn’t grab a pic of me in it or the leaks, probably should have but I’m kinda nervous to post actual pics of me. I’m kinda really self aware of my body and we’re kinda fighting right now. (My body and myself)
Bc I’m not comfortable nor do I like my body at all. (It’s complicated but long story short I was put on meds I never needed bc my parents can’t face the fact that their child has disabilities so they choose the wrong meds and put me on them instead of trying to get me in speech therapy and all the other things I needed for support then. (For those that don’t know I’m autistic and ADHD along with other sub disabilities as I call them) so I went from the current pants and shirt size I was to almost 6 sizes bigger AND gained an additional 140 pounds. So XS to XXL and 120 pounds to almost 260 IN A MONTH’s time. And that was almost 13 years ago. I’m JUST NOW able to start loosing weight. My daddy is helping me and so far I’m half way to my goal and I’m so freaking excited! Plus my asthma and lungs are able to breathe better without all the extra weight!!!! And work has picked up so I’m now walking anywhere from 5,000-8,000 steps a “shift” and half the time we’re so understaffed and undertrained that my fat butt has to run while carrying a tray full of food and try my hardest to balance it without dropping it. Luckily my ADHD has made it where if I loose my balance I can easily change my body’s direction and catch myself. But it’s still hard, especially when your arm is messed up (more than likely still broke and never healed) but hey gotta make a living and I have a super happy life my daddy has created (or at least is trying his hardest too) so I really can’t complain! It’s better than any life I ever dreamed as a kid, and I love him so much! And he loves and supports and protects me more than anyone ever has!
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woweewoweeo · 1 year
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I really got excited for an opportunity to understand eachother and wake up the next day to I guess what I deserve
Welp love yah and see yah never I guess, I had just found us some shrooms and was so excited to ask you to come see ASADI with me in June and maybe trip before or after at hockings outside if you needed or wanted that but anyways, I’m sorry you felt the need to do this and I know I can’t say shit, I’ve said and done all kinds of awful things but that’s not what I want to carry into my death and I hope next life we can do better, I can do better for me and better for you. Sweet dreams always and stay safe Shelby, I’ll learn my patience and forgiveness and return it to those I’ve wronged.
 I love you but I’m not here for you anymore, you want to throw 555 metaphorical days away for no reason,  I’ll make it real for you. Goodbye. Hope you got the attention and response you craved. Won’t ever try to reach out to you like this again because you made it clear that’s what you need and want 👍🏼🫶🏻👋🏼 I blocked you on everything just like you’ve always done me, hope it helps whatever you got going on and makes you happy.
I told you not to talk to me because you said I deserve worse and that I didn’t get in enough “ trouble “. Shouldn’t have ever put myself back in your company. Lesson Learned. You were just bored and I was a way to stimulate yourself, find another way Shelby. I quit and I release you. That metaphorical connection of over 500 plus days was very important and you proved what it really meant to you. What I really have always meant to you, I’m just something you block, delete or ignore whenever you don’t want it to be around and it doesn’t fit your needs.
I hope one day you see people are here for more than validating your existence and giving you attention. Whatever, waste of my time and my energy but I don’t want to die not saying what I have to say which is you always accused me of such fucked sexual shit when at least I don’t get paid to fuck / be objectified and enjoyed the fuck out of it 🤣  You enjoy being an object for everyone’s consumption, I deserve something different. So do you.
Glad you said you didn’t want to be with me and that you just wanted to do what you wanted and showed who you really are, which also allowed me to see who I really am which is in serious horrible pain, needing to put myself in an environment where I’m properly heard and cared for and have a safe space to speak my emotions without them being manipulated back on to me because you lack basic emotional intelligence or understanding.
I hope you find deeper help as well and not just repeating loop of therapy you claim has helped you so much when you can’t even hold a conversation about in depth feelings and the layers/ complexity of those feeling and how they are affecting things.  I will find that depth with someone who appreciates and pushes me to be the best I can be. I’m so glad it wasn’t you, go “do what you want” Shelby.
Thanks for being the biggest learning lesson ever, never trust anyone. People lie when they aren’t honest with themselves, especially those who you expect to be close to you.   Can’t wait to start my life with beautiful souls who accept my faults and don’t hold them against me and refuse to let me grow and heal but actually hold and love and want to be with me wholeheartedly, not always looking for a reason I’m not deserving of love
I don’t think I ever did anything good enough for you. I was so excited to be good enough for someone who has actual faith in me and doesn’t crave to see me fail
something’s are bigger than your petty high school mindset you’re fighting with. I will fly. Dead or Alive.
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jellyfisharesatan · 2 years
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Rlly loving the implication that Luther knew Diego was in a mental hospital this whole time and decided to just leave him there aksjhrhw
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wayfaringmd · 3 years
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Hey Tumblies, long time no blog.
Remember that foster son that I had for a year? Who I was devastated to lose with extremely short notice back in January? Well after an email to a judge (expressing concerns about social services not following up with the family appropriately post-reunification), a lot of prayers, and a complete lack of effort on the parents’ part, he’s back with me again. And I don’t plan to let him go back easily. I also have his little brother this time. So I went from zero children to 2 under age 3 on the 4th of July. In the span of 6 hours I went from having a regular day to running to Walmart to buy a second car seat, diapers, clothes, and groceries, to welcoming an excited little boy back to my house.
Both children came to me with just the clothes on their backs. Older bro’s clothes smelled so strongly of urine that I washed them 3 times and couldn’t get the smell out so they had to be trashed, along with his shoes that were torn to pieces and 2 sizes too small. From what the case worker told me, neither of the boys had any of the clothes or toys that we sent them home with them anymore. Big bro is clinging to toys that he was never interested in previously—toys that are for much younger children even—and taking a toy from him produces the most pitiful silent cry I’ve ever seen.
Baby bro was hospitalized for several days initially for malnutrition and physical abuse work up. He’s just over a year old and weighed 5 pounds less at hospitalization than he did when he went home 6 months ago. He doesn’t look like the same child. He’s covered in scars of varying ages, almost all on his face and neck. He was lethargic and barely moved the first day and a half in the hospital despite being of an age that usually is moving nonstop. I’ve had him for 3 weeks and he’s gained 4 pounds ;). He’s starting to look more normal again, though he’s still small for his age. Touching his face to wash it, brush his teeth, suction his nose, or wash his hair is near impossible because he pulls away in fear. He’s had a full forensic exam and we go for a repeat exam /follow up this week, but no charges have been issued against the parents so far. It’s amazing how much he has progressed in such a short time. He’s a happy, loving child and has been nothing but a delight.
On the other hand, older brother, who was with me before, now has worsened behaviors than when I last had him. He’s very jealous of attention the baby gets (especially since baby was neglected at home and he was the favorite). Of course he is used to having me to himself, and has gone so far as to declare that I am only his mommy and that brother’s mommy and daddy are somewhere else. He’s had some regression in his speech and maturity and is very attention seeking. He has screaming outbursts over the tiniest slights. I’m working on getting him in therapy because he has started disclosing to me some of the abuse that he witnessed, though he hasn’t disclosed being personally victimized.
My next aim is to transition from fostering to possible adoption of these boys. I have some good lawyer recommendations so it’s just a matter of finding the time in the work week to call. I don’t see the parents getting the kids back anytime soon considering that things are worse now than they have ever been for them.
Meanwhile I was out of work for about 8 days while baby bro was in the hospital and when he first got out. Finding childcare has been a nightmare because the kids aren’t vaccinated and a lot of places (rightly) won’t accept them. In my state foster parents don’t have many rights as far as consenting to healthcare so the parents refuse to let me get the kids vaccinated. I have been extremely lucky to finally have some support from people at church who have been willing to babysit so I can work. One family is also licensed to foster but they don’t have a placement currently so they’ve offered to keep the kids for free until daycare spots open up. It blows my mind how generous people have been this time around.
Work is rough because everyone wants to see me right now since I’m leaving, and I’m way behind on paperwork and messages. My office manager has been completely unsupportive and was constantly asking me to check my messages and see telehealth patients from home. Like what part of “I’m holding and slow feeding a malnourished baby in a hospital room” is so hard to comprehend? I don’t have time to work or see patients virtually or answer stupid refill requests. When the other docs are off, they’re off. Why is that never the case for me? I can’t wait to start my new job. Giving up the commute alone is going to make a huge difference.
So yeah, prayers are appreciated if you are so inclined. This is an exhausting endeavor as a single person, but I’m glad to have the kids and I’m being much more intentional about seeking help from other people (something that is incredibly hard for me to accept).
I am writing this while up with baby who has his second bout of gastroenteritis in 10 days. We all ate the same dinner so I don’t think it’s the food unless he’s allergic or something. At least this time he’s not febrile. Welp, onward to my bed.
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Platonic Polyam Bench Trio Marriage AU
You guys asked, so here I am to deliver! Platonic Polyam Bench Trio marriage au where Tommy marries into Tubbo’s and Ranboo’s platonic marriage. (focus on Tommy lol)
NOTE; These are about the c!characters and not the irl people, and I'm writing this like a poly queerplatonic relationship okay? None of this is intended to be romantic or anything else and anything that is in this list is PLATONIC INTENTIONS ONLY
Edit; Now called the Bench Husbands Au
-It kinda all kicks off when about a week or so after Tommy gets out of Prison. (Note, nothing after the first stream after Tommy gets out is canon in this au, as well as some things before)
-Tubbo and Tommy finally have a small fight and argument, before talking, like really talking and Tubbo invite Tommy to come live with them in the mansion in snowchester once its done.
-Tommy doesn't really want to... but he’s tired and lonely and still scared to death and Tubbo promises he’s safe with them, plus if they lived together they could plan on how to kill Dream easier as well.
-Ranboo doesn't mind but after that he tries to go talk to tommy more, but Tommy isnt... the most receptive? Tommy is suffering still and is feeling very replaced and lonely, but doesn't excuse his kinda snippy behavior with Ranboo
-This finally comes to ahead when Ranboo snaps and calls him out, leading to another small fight, before Tommy apologizes and they also talk. This one is more in depth though and Tommy talks about what happened in exile, in the prison, and just general shitty stuff that's being going on. 
-Ranboo, in turn, talks to him about the voices and Dream’s voice and the sleepwalking and Tommy is very much more concerned about them then anyone else he told was, and validates the fear about it, and resolves to help Ranboo get rid of it somehow.
-After this, and both trying to convince the other they should tell Tubbo, that they both probably need to tell Tubbo. They want to keep him safe and not worry him, but... they both need help in different ways and they both love him enough to not do that to him.
-The night ends with lots of tears, Tubbo admitting his own traumas and tears and what he’s been not saying, and a promise to help each other.
-Its not a while after that actually Ranboo brings up the idea of adding Tommy to their marriage. He can tell the blond is struggling with feeling replaced and low-self esteem, and it would help him feel more equal and loved maybe? Tubbo thinks its a great idea and they go to ask Tommy.
-Tommy’s pretty uppity at first, he believes its just them pitying him and treating him like glass again, which he hates more then anything, but after they calm him down and explain they just want him to feel equal and that they both actually cared for him and wanted him to join in on their thing, he’s more contemplative. Ranboo nervously throws in a few other points, like how for legal reasons it could benefit him like it was for them, their allies had to leave him alone, plus Tubbo only started making his own hotel becuase he wanted Tommy to start interacting with him again, and-
-At this point Tommy just, interrupts and says yes, surprising them. They didn't exactly think he’d say no, but they thought it would be harder then that. He laughs at their expressions and says why not? Plus it stood to reason they’d want Tommy, everyone wanted Tommy.
-Ranboo and Tubbo exchange a look before bullying their now platonic fiancée. They agree to get married as soon as the Mansion is done, and till then Tommy can finish packing his stuff and a few other things he wanted to do.
-Also Tommy is totally not avoiding Michael because every pet he ever got close to has died and he doesn't want to get attached and risk Tubbo and Ranboo losing something they cared about because of him, no siree, why wouldn't you think that?
-Speaking of Michael!
-Its not all that strange to keep undead mobs like Zombie piglins as pets, in fact Zombie Piglins are the probably better undead mob to keep around due to their mostly passiveness if you want a pet and the fact they don't need much to eat and wont really be harmed if out leave them alone for long periods of time
-Though Tommy kinda thinks Tubbo and Ranboo’s insist on treating him like their child is weird, but he’s willing to let them have it, clearly it made them happy to play around
-Isn't until he finally moves in that he realizes that Michael is different then other zombie piglins and finds himself being pulled into the parent dynamic as well
-Though now that he thinks about it, something about Michael seems off… welp it's probably nothing :)
-When the mansion is done, he tears down the dirt shack and makes it a community garden and it becomes one of the only things that stays free of the red vines (who knew watering it with water from the holy land would make it untouchable? It's thanks to this garden later others figure out how to defeat the egg)
-They elect to not have a ceremony, not now at least but Tommy actually thinks a small wedding party would be fun at a later date. Ranboo doesn't mind much if they have one or not but Tubbo is actually very excited about planning it.
-Tommy wears his ring on a necklace most of the time, but occasionally wears it on his fingers, usually when he needs something to fiddle with.
-Ranboo wears his on his tail (the area right before to fluffy part) normally but also wears it on his finger sometimes when he feels like it. (If your version has horns, he also does that too) it just really depends on what he’s feeling and if he’s forgotten where he put it. He also like, never takes it off unless to move it around because he’s afraid to lose it.
-Tubbo wears his as an actual ring on his finger (though if he has horns, sometimes he puts it on one of em if he needs the ring to be off his hand.) Tubbo learned the hard way when building nukes or other machinery (since, if you can believe it, his husbands aren’t that comfortable with the nukes as he is) you can't wield or do high heat stuff while wearing metal and nearly lost his finger. He’s very lucky and he has a small scar from it.
-Each of them have their own rooms so they can have their own space and somewhere to go if they want time to themselves/store their stuff in, but there is a 4th room (directly across from Michaels) where they share and tend to curl up to sleep together. About 5 out of 7 days of the week, some combo of them are cuddling together at night, more if they're having a bad day or nightmares.
-There's multiple bathrooms in the mansion but there's one they all like the best and will fight over it/race to get into it first before the others and the other two will stalk off salty to use a different one
-They're all pretty tactile people but out of them, Tommy is the most tactile (once the fear of being hurt recess he practically attaches himself to the others) and Ranboo is the least (he won't seek out comfort and touch as much as the others unless he needs it, but is the best at telling when the other two need touch or need to be left alone) and Tubbo is in the middle of that.
-Tommy is the one that cooks most of the time, Ranboo is banned from it after The Incident and while Tubbo is okay at cooking, Tommy just knows more recipes and how to make things taste really good.
-Tommy picked up sewing from when he was a kid, even before he was found by Wilbur and adopted by Phil, it was useful to be able to patch the rags he called clothes, and just ended up continuing because his brothers and dad sucked at sewing. It then morphed into full tailoring because he found it relaxing and liked being able to make his own clothes. He can and will be insulted if anyone wears anything he deems ‘ugly’, especially his new husbands. He makes them clothes all the time, specially Michael.
-In fact he also cleans the most, he just gets bored and while he makes a mess, if the house gets to a certain point he gets really uncomfortable and overstimulated, so he cleans.
-DomesticInnit? In my au? More likely then you think!
-Gradually the whole ‘watching the prison’ and ‘planning to kill Dream’ starts to fade as he gets back into the groove of living again and therapy. He’s just… tired of Dream having a hold on everything Tommy does, he’s sick of it. So… he just tries to live these days one step at a time. (Healing arc baby! Dream can die mad UwU)
-Tommy dragged them both to Therapy with him after a while.
-Because of this he finds himself home a lot with Michael, especially if the other two are busy. They’ve pretty much decided that someone has to be home with Michael at all times, which is now 100% more doable with the 3 of them, and Puffy or Foolish babysit if there’s ever time they can't.
-Tommy is a lot less of a hovering helicopter parent then the others and was the one to finally convince them Michael cant live trapped in a room. Yes, they were all worried for his safety but… you can't raise a kid in a cell, even if it's a nice one. Tommy takes Michael out more
-Tommy started to sleep walking again once they moved in and he still gravitates towards water for some reason. Nothing more startling then waking up because you plunged into frigid below 0 temp water while sleepwalking. Ranboo also enderwalks/sleepwalks more as well and there've been some nights where Tubbo has had to track them both sleepily walking around and make sure they don't hurt themselves or drown or something. At least Ranboo is semi-aware when enderwalking and normally just does weird ender things, Tommy likes to apparently walk into oceans or climb the mansion and nearly fall off and wander hundreds of blocks away. Tubbo’s not salty at all, really.
-Sapnap, Quackity, and Karl are 100% salty the benchtrio got platonically married before they got married
-They fight about last names all the time despite none of them actally taking eachothers last name, and if they happen to pick and choose on which one they’re feeling based on mood, well they can do what they want!
-However its agreed Michael’s last name is hyphenated so he’s now ‘Michael Beloved-Underscore-Innit’
These are all I have for now, feel free to ask about it or use my ideas! <3
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