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lit-in-thy-heart · 3 years

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and the next instalment of the merlin gif analysis saga is...

gwaine realising he's in love with merlin

because i want to make myself cry

Glossing over the fact that the first gif actually makes something in my chest clench, this seems to be the episode where Gwaine realises that he might be a lot little in love with Merlin.

Elyan definitely seems to believe that Gwaine is in love with someone in 5×06 (thanks @sneakyboymerlin for reminding me of that) and you could argue that Gwaine's lack of interaction with Merlin in 5×05 proves that it's not Merlin he's in love with, but think about it.

Gwaine rarely reveals his true feelings when he's around other people, but Merlin seems to be the exception. He's put himself out on the line before (yes I'm thinking about the 'Not Arthur' scene, I'm always thinking about that scene) because he can't seem to help but lay himself bare in front of Merlin. So if he's realised that he cares for Merlin a bit more than he should, he is going to be terrified of revealing that fact, and avoids Merlin because that's the only way he is going to be able to process his feelings.

Because Gwaine has it bad.

He loves Merlin subtly, powerfully. In the first gif, he casts a glance over his shoulder to make sure that Percival is still behind him and has still got hold of Merlin (honestly I don't know what they'd do without Percival, he's essentially the assigned transportation knight) and what's really interesting is what Gwaine is doing with his hand. It's not quite gripped on his sword, but hovering above it, with the fingers splayed. And perhaps I'm projecting but that is a movement I usually associate with trying to calm yourself down when panicked. As if he's telling himself to take a breath and everything will be fine. And the way Gwaine takes Merlin from Percival is so painfully gentle. He lets Merlin's body fall into his arms, rather than actively manipulating his form with his hands. Gwaine seems very reluctant to disturb Merlin in any way at all, choosing to kneel behind his head and slow down the process of setting Merlin down, despite the situation being quite dire. He handles Merlin like he's a glass ornament, as if he's afraid of him shattering at any moment.

Merlin is relatively well-supported by the makeshift bed they've got going on, yet Gwaine chooses to leave his hand resting on Merlin's shoulder. In fact, it doesn't look just like it's resting, but he's moulded his whole hand to fit around Merlin's shoulder. His hand doesn't need to be there. Gwaine doesn't even need to be there. He could easily be stood with the other knights, yet his instinct is to be as close to Merlin as he can. The only way he could be closer is by having Merlin in his lap, but that would probably make it more difficult for Gaius to examine him.

Gwaine has never really been one to shy away from physical contact. In the season 3 episodes he consistently provides Merlin with hugs (mostly when Arthur has rejected him but we'll get onto that whole thing in a bit) despite not knowing each other for that long. Even later on in this episode, he drops all the firewood to give Merlin a hug when he recovers. There seems to be an instinctive urge to be close to Merlin. And the fact that Merlin's head is resting on Gwaine's forearm is making me want to curl up in a ball and scream. And maybe Gwaine has never questioned this eagerness for physical contact before. But by the second gif, I think he knows what his initial refusal to be away from an unconscious Merlin means.

And a key part to this analysis is something I never thought I'd be looking at in depth, as glorious as it is: Gwaine's hair.

The first image directly follows the first gif, and the second image precedes the second gif. You can see that Gwaine's hair in the first image is much flatter than it is in the second. By the time Arthur and Co have left and Merlin is still unconscious, Gwaine seems to have been running his hands consistently through his hair. It's significantly messier and, whilst it could be argued that the wind plays a part, Gaius's hair remains largely unaltered. And one way to try and deal with stress or panic is to run your fingers through your hair again and again. It's not difficult to believe that Gwaine has been pacing up and down doing exactly that because Merlin is still not waking up.

If he was panicked before, then he's feeling tormented now. His hair, pushed out of his face in the first gif and image, is falling unchecked into his face and Gwaine, who usually keeps his hair in a relatively immaculate condition, is doing nothing about it. Because Merlin is lying right in front of him, potentially dying, and he has no clue how to deal with that.

In the second gif, Gwaine partially turns away and looks up, seeming to take a quick breath. He's deliberately not looking at either Merlin or Gaius, and this reaction comes after Gaius implies that Merlin could have internal injuries. And if there's internal damage and Gaius doesn't know how to deal with it, then Merlin doesn't stand a chance. And it's quite possible that Gwaine is looking up like that to try and blink away tears or just to ground himself. Merlin has been seriously injured before (think of the writers using him as a bit of a punching bag in season 4) but that damage was always external and Merlin was healed rather quickly. If it's internal, then nothing can be done by Gwaine. And it is when Gwaine is faced with the thought of being without Merlin that he realises just how much he needs him.

And when there's the slimmest chance that Gwaine might be able to help, he launches himself into it. When Gaius tells him to get firewood, he starts off in a manner that is almost a sprint, before seeming to realise that being in that much of a rush would expose his feelings, and he hesitates before electing for a fast walk instead. Because the only way he can keep himself from falling apart is to focus on helping Merlin and the possibility that he might be alright after all.

Look at his face here. He is stunned, then ecstatic, then confused. And the way that he moves towards Merlin makes it clear that he is not going to give him the trademark one-armed hug, but a full-on embrace. And Merlin brushes Gwaine off, because he doesn't have the time because Arthur is in danger and Gwaine probably should be paying more attention to what Merlin is saying but he's not. He's giving Gaius a tender smile as if to thank him for helping Merlin.

Gwaine hasn't made any mention of Arthur or the knights, even though it is a dangerous mission with or without knowing it's a trap, and his preoccupation with Merlin shows just how deeply he cares for him. The fact that his first instinct is once again to make physical contact with him, even though there was the prospect of internal damage and hugging Merlin might not have been the best thing to do, just says that Gwaine has got it tremendously bad for Merlin.

It took the thought of Merlin dying for Gwaine to realise that he was in love with him, and Gwaine spends the rest of the series struggling to deal with that.

He distances himself from Merlin for two episodes, not engaging in any conversations with just the two of them, until--

THE SUBTEXT.

Merlin's glance down in the first gif, demonstrating that he'd also do anything to protect his mother, is one thing, but Gwaine's reaction? The subtle sag of his body, the eyes darting down away from Merlin, the gentle swallow. In that moment, he's thinking how he would do anything to protect Merlin. Gwaine's gaze lingers on Merlin for a moment before he looks away, realising that Merlin has no idea how he feels about him. There's so much tenderness in that one look, especially after the slight annoyance that there seemed to be when Merlin kept talking about Arthur.

Gwaine was Merlin's friend before he was a knight. But Merlin only seems to see him as a knight these days, and Gwaine seems to decide that the only way he can indicate any of the love he has for Merlin is by being what Merlin wants him to be: a soldier to protect Arthur.

You have my word on it, Merlin.

You have my word that I will protect the one you care about the most. You have my word that I will keep him safe for you, so you don't have to feel the same pain I did. You have my word that I will put my life on the line for him, because he means more to you than I ever will.

Because this is when Gwaine realises that though he may love Merlin, Merlin will not love him back.

The way Gwaine falls back in his chair is incredibly interesting. There seems to be a bit of an impact with his shoulders, suggesting that he's hitting it with some force, but his limbs seem pretty tense. He's not slumping back in it from fatigue, he seems to be subtly throwing himself back in it. Because when Merlin was injured, Gwaine was thinking only about him and worrying about his welfare. But when Gwaine himself is injured (or has faced a threat of injury), Merlin spends the whole time talking about Arthur. And Gwaine can never measure up to Arthur. Gwaine only received hugs from Merlin when he'd been rejected by Arthur; a part of him believes that he's second best to Arthur in Merlin's eyes. And Gwaine is resigned to that, to never being able to measure up to Arthur, but is not happy about it. But he clings on to Merlin in whatever ways he can. By protecting Arthur. By greeting him when he's released from the cells and being one of the first faces he sees.

And just before their final interaction in the finale, Gwaine doesn't give Merlin a hug after Merlin has faced injury, but a touch on the arm. A touch that is incredibly similar to the one Arthur has given Merlin many times.

Because maybe, just maybe, if Gwaine can prove that he's similar to Arthur, then Merlin might look at him in the same way he looks at Arthur. Might prioritise Gwaine for once. Might even return a fraction of the love that Gwaine hasn't known what to do with for most of the season.

Gwaine would do anything for Merlin, but, by the final season, Merlin only sees him as a shield for Arthur.

#good morning everyone #maybe i am just projecting my behaviours and reactions onto gwaine but i think the point does stand #i feel like this does very much link to merlin's lack of self-worth and how he feels arthur is more important than him #gwaine could prove him wrong but gwaine doesn’t want to face rejection #so he drops subtle hints everywhere but never comes straight out with it #but in conclusion gwaine loves merlin and eira is a rebound and merlin is too preoccupied with keeping arthur alive to notice anything #so gwaine never reveals his feelings #and everyone ends up unhappy #so yay to that #merlin #gwaine #merwaine #merlin meta #merlin gif thoughts #bbc merlin #my gifs #merlin spoilers #bbc merlin spoilers #merlin season 5 spoilers

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parchmentedpetrichor · 3 years

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➳the girl in the lilac dress ♠ ♡

in which y/n meets fred's ex-girlfriend, days after fred confessed his love for her. there's still some confusion on the status of their relationship. angst -> fluff. narrated by you, y/n l/n.

fred weasley x fem!reader

word count: ±5.4k

tw: angst (not too bad though), mean words, blood, mentions of auror missions, kidnapping, needles, st mungo's

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ft. hermione, lee and alicia

I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you

I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you

the girl in the lilac dress

i was in a good mood. on the way to work to receive my mission, i was humming a song that had just come out. it was catchy and worth the wait.

out of the corner of my eye, a lilac colour appeared suddenly. strange, i thought. it approached me, in the form of a beautiful woman. she had the lightest grey eyes and the smoothest milky-white skin, and the shiniest locks of dark brown hair. she walked in a flowy lilac gown, her slim model-like body walking in a model-like fashion.

i was pretty sure she wasn't headed towards me, but when her luxurious voice said "good morning" in the calmest tone possible to me, i looked at her confusedly.

"hi!" i replied brightly, smiling.

she smiled sinisterly, "my name is pretoria aphrodite, i'm fred's ex-girlfriend."

he hadn't ever mentioned an ex, but i knew he had dated quite a few people. she made me seem like a glass of water next to a glass of red wine, naive and ugly. i was those two things anyway.

"oh! i'm y/n l/n! nice to meet you, you do seem like a daughter of aphrodite," i said politely.

"darling, all women are daughters of aphrodite. i understand fred's interested in you?"

she observed me and i laughed.

"i don't think that's quite the word. he's my best friend."

"friends with benefits?"

"oh gosh no! i don't really know where we stand, honestly."

"bitter about it?"

i thought for a second, "nah, i couldn't be. love's a hard thing."

"it is, indeed, and you work for the ministry?"

i nodded, "head of the auror office. what about you?"

"i model for witch weekly."

i gasped, "you're the p. aphrodite? i should've known!"

"big fan?" she looked amusedly at me.

"my friends are, so naturally i am."

"you don't seem the type fred usually goes for."

"i wouldn't say he's even going for me," i said cautiously.

"you are much too cutesie for his type."

i glanced up at her. she was smiling kindly.

"pfft, but better cutesie than nothing, amirite?" i asked friendlily, "well it's been nice to talk with you, but i gotta hurry!"

"no worries, i'll come with you, i have some business at the ministry too. have you seen his past exes?"

"uhh, not really?"

"well they're all models for one magazine or another."

"oh, okay. and that's important because...?" i asked her carefully.

"i just thought you should know."

i laughed, "i'm not model material, am i? i don't mind at all."

she looks taken aback. "i would say, with longer hair," she plucked a hair out of my poor mess of locks, "and a shorter upper body, with perhaps lip fillers, you'd look model-like."

her tone was analysing and not at all attacking.

"only three things??" i asked, shocked.

"you are rather... pretty already," she mused, "not model-like, but cute."

we had reached the ministry.

"thanks, see you later!" she waved and disappeared.

all that was left was a buzzing fly which soon flew away.

i immediately dialled in my auror code in the red telephone box and was sent into hermione granger's office.

"'mione! how good to see you!" i hugged her.

"hello y/n!"

in the ministry and the auror department, the head of the auror office was probably more important than the minister for magic. i didn't know why. she had brought me a cup of hot chocolate.

"thanks, 'mione, you didn't need to. what's the mission today?"

"two babies are being held hostage in a coded location by a person who calls themselves the light lord. dark lord, light lord, y'know?" she handed me a coded piece of parchment.

i thoughtfully pondered, "the light lord. who do you need?"

"i was hoping you go on this mission, then you could give me some news on this light lord person."

"that's doable. we'll need to bring in hepole and a ministry official to negotiate passports and such. and a strong auror team."

"right on it. i'll get wally becker and charlotte-ann becker. they're a force to be reckoned with on the borders."

"how much experience?"

"they're twins, been doing this for about fifty years now."

"perfect. and hepole?"

"on the way."

"thanks, minister," i winked at her, getting out my telephone and dialling the disguise unit.

"hello, poplinn speaking."

"pop, we need a few disguises. light lord."

"miss l/n! o-of course!"

"and pop?"

"y-yeah?"

"call me y/n."

i hung up, dialling harry's office.

"harry, call draco and be in my office in ten minutes. i don't care what business he's doing with scorpius, we've got babysitters here. light lord, perhaps a second of voldemort."

"of course."

i picked up the ringing phone that was in the corner of hermione's office.

"y/n, me and scorpy are having a zoo day, we're at the muggle zoo you suggested."

"sorry dray, but it's important."

"there's no one else?"

"there are others, but we need your expertise."

there was a pause, "i won't need to show my dark mark?"

"it's fading anyway. no."

"i'll be paid?"

"in hundreds."

"how old are the children?"

"2 and 4," hermione said.

the silence told me he was sold.

"i'll be there."

i picked up the big microphone and said, "auror unit 156 to the brief room. no need to bring anything. see you there!"

"good luck," hermione grimly said, "be safe, head."

"mhm and cup o' coffee tomorrow? if i survive, that is," i grinned.

"'course."

i smiled, "c'ya!"

she was shaking her head.

"oi, no disappointment, 'mione! i was the one who got the ministry out of paperwork!"

"burning paper doesn't count, y/n."

"it wasn't burning paper, hermione granger, it was arson."

"no, it was the saddest form of arson i've ever seen."

"hey! that's rude."

"just go on your mission already."

i laughed, "on it, minister. kalle?"

kalle looked at me, "yes?"

"tell miss minister to take a break and play a game or something, will you?"

she smiled, "okay."

"give my thanks to your mother too, loved the cookies!"

"alright, good luck, head!"

"thanks, bye!"

i apparated to the brief room, where everyone was strapped into special camouflage clothes.

i handed hepole the parchment and immediately began briefing the unit, harry and draco, on the mission.

"please be safe out there. if you're injured, apparate or travel back here, okay?"

i looked at hepole.

he cleared his throat, "they're in albania. the forest there."

"okay. harry and draco will provide attacking forces," the two nodded.

"i want lopex, quentin blake, quentin grill and hilly to break into any establishment," i say to the team, "and eron, hawks, melv, argonas to hold the offender hostage. johnathan, team healer as always. i'll take the children. hepole, you come and accompany us till the forest, then you have my permission to stay back, and beckers, stay invisible with the cloak, write a report for the minister when you come back, understand? have faith, team! i believe in you. we travel by apparition with the machine in three minutes. call your family, chat, have a snack, drink some water, and relax."

i picked up my telephone and dialled my parents.

"hi mum, dad, i'm going on a mission!"

"alright, be safe sweetie," my mum called.

"yeah, don't die kiddo," my dad added.

"right right, i love you, bye!"

the mission was successful. we rescued the children and sent the kidnapper to trial for azkaban. i escaped with a gash on my forearm, but quickly fixed it up with a spell. it ended late in the evening, so the team healer had gone home. the wound kept opening again, but i wasn't sure if it needed stitches.

putting everything away and making sure the aurors were okay, i headed back to the apartment i shared with fred.

i felt emotionally and physically drained, ready to enjoy a good shower and a good late dinner.

when i fiddled with the key to the door and opened it, my heart absolutely stopped.

pretoria aphrodite was kissing fred passionately. i felt my heart fall ten thousand flights of stairs in disappointment. of course. i was all a rebound who was pathetically in love with him.

when they stopped and saw me, pretoria smirked and fred stood up, astounded.

"uhh, continue? sorry," i apologised awkwardly.

"wait, y/n, it's not what it looks like-" he said.

"i don't mind, be safe," i smiled, too tired and too weak to do anything, closing the door and feeling tears well up in my eyes as i took my bag and myself somewhere. anywhere away from this all. my wound burned. i cursed under my breath as i made my way to st mungo's.

"y/n, you should have come here earlier!" yvonne, my friend, says, as she slowly injects a needle into me, "it's infected! and it needs stitches."

i laughed, "everything needs stitches. this is why i didn't become a healer, yvonne."

she shook her head in dismay.

"lol."

i watched the needle go in.

then she stitched the bloody mess of a wound up, cleaning it gently.

"now i can't stay, y/n," i pouted, "no, don't give me that face, i have other patients."

i nodded, "thanks yvonne."

"no problems. take care. you're too reckless."

"am not!"

she laughed. "that's funny."

after the trip to st mungo's which was pretty short, i wondered what to do. my mind kept floating to the scene i had just witnessed.

i was just the stupid, stupid, girl he used as a rebound. he didn't even use me as a real rebound, just someone who was simply infatuated with him to help him forget his unforgettable ex.

looking at a shop window, i caught a glimpse of myself. i hated being insecure but it happened.

i looked ugly. eyes too small, nose too big, lips not full enough. my thighs touched and i didn't have abs. i had a long gash running down my forearm, surrounded by other cuts. my hair was messy and disgusting. compared to the angel on earth pretoria was, i was nothing. small and plain was nothing when luxurious and beautiful was present.

and it hurt. my heart hurt. my head hurt.

i shook my head gently of my thoughts, chuckling bitterly.

fred weasley was completely and utterly out of my league.

whatevs, i thought. hurting was fine.

deciding to get over him once and for all, i bought some groceries and apparated to the doorstep of lee and alicia's glamorous cottage.

i knocked twice on the door. "hellooo!" i called out.

"baby, can you get that?" lee asked alicia.

alicia opened the door, smiling as she saw me.

"hey ali!"

"hi! come in!"

at first glance i could tell she knew something wrong.

"can i sleep here tonight? and take a shower? and eat some of your food please guys? and maybe steal a shirt i left here for safekeep? and maybe use your telephone? i'm really sorry for troubling you, so i got you guys snacks."

i was the second cousin by marriage of lee. it was good overall, but he was super naughty.

"snacks?"

"your favourites."

"then i guess you can," he said cheekily and i laughed.

"alicia, i don't know how or why you ended up with this child, but i'm glad you did," i told her and she laughed heartily.

"he's cute, isn't he?"

"no," i quickly stepped into the guest bedroom and took a long shower, letting a few tears slip but not enough so that it looked like it. i was subtle.

i bundled up in heavy clothing and wrapped my hair in a towel.

gingerly, i bandaged the wound.

by the snores in the other room, lee was asleep. i crept out quietly, going to cook something.

alicia was sitting down, with my favourite comfort meal prepared. i felt tears of appreciation well up in my eyes.

"thank you, ali, i love you."

"you damn well do."

we both giggled.

"what happened?" she asked me.

"nothing. i just wanted a change."

"from fred? liar. i'll ask again. what happened, y/n?"

"just a long mission, that's all."

"after long missions you usually watch movies with fred."

"couldn't i visit my best friend and my cuz?"

"you visit us on weekends. it's a friday."

"well i wanted to visit you!"

"bullshit."

"is it that hard to believe?"

"what the fuck did fred do to you?"

"nothin'?"

"c'mon y/n, you have to tell me. there's a reason why you didn't go to angie and george's tonight."

"i went here because they're super kissy. you guys have space and act normally. i appreciate that."

"you're awesome at lying."

"i'm not lying!"

"does this happen to involve pretoria aphrodite?"

i nodded, sighing, "she's so nice and pretty." i played with my food.

"i bumped into her. she's pretty, but not nice."

"oh?"

"she called me fiercely ugly. she forgot i model for witch weekly too."

"what did you say back?"

"i told her to fuck off."

i laughed, "she was very nice to me. but next time i see her imma kill her."

"of course she was nice to you, you're a lil angel! anyway, she's an animagus, didya know?"

"whoa how did you know?"

"caught her in a jar. she's a fly. who do you think told hermione to catch rita skeeter in the jar?"

i laughed, "rita skeeter is a beetle! gosh, she's annoying."

"what did fred and pretoria do?"

"nothing."

"please tell me?"

"they-" i swallowed, "they were kissing, and so i came here because i didn't wanna watch anymore."

"hang on, he told you he loved you a few days ago?"

i nodded.

"that doesn't seem right."

i shrugged, "pretoria's better than me. i don't blame him."

"his mother would kill him!"

i shrugged again, "i don't think he was legit when he said that."

"molly weasley, y/n!"

"look, he can explain it to you, i don't even wanna hear it. the first stage of mourning is denial, they say."

"doesn't mean it's good."

"denial is awesome. it's ignorance, but you choose to be stupid. i'm already so stupid!" i groaned, covering my face with my hands, "so so so so so so so stupid, foolish, dumb, and i don't want you to tell me i'm not because i know i am. pathetic."

i gobbled down the rest of the meal, "ths 's delicous," i said, swallowing, "g'night!"

"don't be afraid to let it all out."

"yeah."

i shut the door softly, before brushing my teeth and collapsing exhaustedly on the bed, nodding off quickly.

the next day, i woke at 4am, and put on new clothes, apparating to the phone box and filling out paperwork for the missions yesterday.

i joined hermione quickly, handing her a cappucino and sipping my mocha.

"court sitting this early?" she asked me.

i nodded, "mistake of sirius black, now they do all court sittings within 24 hours of arrest."

"that's smart."

"yeah. it's good. he's obviously guilty right? just a dust of veritaserum to bring it all out?"

"i reckon he'll just confess."

"criminals don't go down easily."

"you guys did a spotting job. the children were unharmed."

"are they here today?"

"they're in st mungo's. being monitored."

"parents?"

"dead."

"oh gosh, those poor children. what's going to happen to them?"

"someone's adopting them, wally becker and his wife."

"that's awesome."

the court hushed as we entered the room. hermione and i shared amused glances and began the sitting.

he was found to be guilty and was chucked in azkaban.

"what an idiot, sending a message like that."

"yup," i chuckled, "what with hepole in our ministry, they never escape."

we laughed.

"how's everything with ron?" i asked her.

"i don't know if he's still into me?"

i almost laugh at her statement, "bro. of course he is."

"i never see him."

"then see him more!"

"how? i'm so busy!"

"busy enough for ron?" we both took sandwiches from the canteen lady with courteous smiles and words.

we sat down at the cafeteria.

"i guess not, but he's busy!"

"busy enough for you?"

"i guess not."

"'xactly."

"but he might not wanna go on a date."

"why? the boy's obsessed with you, 'mione!"

the aurors and ministry workers looked at us in fear as i rose up. i chuckled.

i immediately skipped over to the telephone, putting in the WWW's number.

"y/n! what on earth are you doing?" hermione said in a panicked tone.

"nothing to be worried 'bout."

"hello?" it was george. i thanked the heavens for that.

"yolo george, give the phone to your lil bro please."

"'kay."

hermione was gaping at me. i smirked at her.

"y/n?"

"hey ron, i want you to meet me in rosemary park at 5pm today."

"o-okay."

"could you also bring hermione's favourite snacks and wear an extra jumper?"

"what? why?"

"i'm curious, that's all," i said, "see you there!"

"is that y/n?" i heard fred's voice.

"nup, it isn't," i replied.

and with that, i hung up.

"hey 'mione?"

she was glaring at me, "what."

"meet me at rosemary park at 5pm?" i batted my eyelashes at her, before bursting out in laughter.

she laughed, "i love you."

"pfft, love ya too. you really are too careful. like he would reject you."

"what do you think i should wear?"

"let's go off work early today, at 3," i suggested, "we're both on top of our work anyway."

"okay! you wanna go now?"

"it's 11?"

"yeah!"

"alrighty! kalle!"

kalle turned to us, "yes?"

"hi! me and minister are going out to talk about the mission."

"alright, bye."

we apparate to hogsmeade.

"what theme do you wanna go for?"

"hmm," she thought for a second, "floral!"

"alrighty!" i fumbled for my cell phone and dialled the WWW's again.

"hello?" it was fred this time.

"heyo freddie," i said to him like nothing had ever happened, "tell ron to dress up at 5 pm in something cute but not too out there, preferably in florals or somethin', and he better bring me hermione's favourite flowers."

"wha? if he's going with you then- ohhhh."

"thanks, bye."

"wait!"

"mhm?"

"can we talk?"

"erm- about what exactly?"

"everything."

i sighed, "later, okay? i'm out with hermione and you've got work."

"okay. have a good time, lovely."

"you too."

i was utterly confused. here he was one day kissing pretoria, and now he was calling me lovely?

what the hell was going on?

"let's go, mione!"

we went and bought her a pretty pink dress with white lilies adorning it. it was cute and definitely casual, sort of like a sundress.

"what if he doesn't come?" hermione chewed on her lip.

"hermione jean granger, we both know that ron is absolutely definitely a thousand times head over heels in love with you. he wouldn't ditch you for the world! and look at you! anyone can see he's lucky to have you! you both are star-crossed. when has he ever ever ditched you?"

"with lav brown."

"lavender, she's, she's dead, hermione," i said carefully, "fenrir greyback bit her to death. it was a tragic, heroic, death. she was listed in the extended casualties sent to my office a few months after the battle. i think she's watching down on us from wherever she is up there."

"she's dead?"

"yeah," i replied sadly, "life is so short."

"yeah."

"what i'm tryna say, is that that might've happened, but it won't happen again now that he knows you love him and he loves you. understand?"

"yeah."

"and love him well, for the sake of lavender brown."

"for the sake of lavender brown," she said, smiling.

"yup, now, light lord. his name is actually pont knight."

"pont knight?"

"former assistant of me."

"pont knight?"

"yeah, i know right."

"how did he go again?"

"oh, i fired him," i laughed.

"why?"

"smart guy but terribly lazy and he kept asking for promotions! like please do something if you want money."

"interesting."

"he moved to eastern europe to chase after the trendiness of the islands. i think it was just an excuse. he's changed. he used to be clean-shaven and have the blondest hair."

"do you think he did anything else?"

"we did put him on veritaserum, right?"

"yeah, but it's illegal to put someone on it for more than 10 minutes now in court sittings."

"we could go visit him in azkaban later? i'll take gregir."

"yeah, maybe tomorrow or the day after?"

i nodded, "'course. today is a rest day for the aurors right?"

she nodded, "yeah, half of the agency is at home or working out in the gym."

"good. sometimes this work is so tolling, 'mione."

"yeah, i heard from st mungo's you got hurt?" her eyes were concerned.

i rolled up my sleeve, "that's it."

"that's it? what do you mean, that's terrible! you need to take better care of yourself."

"well sometimes it's hard to. it was worth it."

we continued chatting until it was 4:30.

"oop!" she checked her watch, "i have to go!"

"good luck! tell me how it goes, minister! i'll head back to check if anyone's called for you or me and dust it all up."

"thanks. i owe you."

"nah. i owe my job to you. if minister for magic didn't exist, i wouldn't either. i love you 'mione, be safe!"

"love you too!"

i apparated to the phone box and typed my letters in.

with a whoosh, i immediately spotted two letters and a beeping phone. i answered the phone, solving the problem of the woman on the other end of the line and scribbled a reply to both of the letters.

i finished the paperwork and sent it off, then visited my office. it was piling with letters. i answered all of them, redirecting some of them to different departments, before calling everyone back.

i spotted some of the aurors from yesterday's mission sitting in the cafeteria and talking.

i sat down next to them, "how are you guys doing? any injuries?"

they shook their heads, "we've been spending time in the healer's office and just exercising lightly by the orders of johnny," argonas explained and i nodded.

"take it lightly, and go home if you want to. seeing family always helps the process, hopefully not too many nightmares?"

they laughed, "nightmares all the time, miss," hawk said lightly, "get used to it in this job."

i frowned, "have you tried speaking to doctor yvonne? she might have ways to solve nightmares."

"ahh, miss, sleeping draughts can only do so much," hawk replied cordially.

i laughed, "alright, hawkeye, but just make sure you're not getting traumatised okay? what about you, lopex, quentins?"

they shrugged.

"it's okay? the door was very hard to bust into," lopex said quietly, "we had to try several bombarding charms."

"now, lop, it was easy work!" draco said, sitting down, "hello, head auror, hello unit."

it brought on a cacophony of greetings.

"how are you doing, dray?" harry sat down next to him, "hi everyone!"

we all replied with more greetings and a steady conversation started and flowed for a couple of hours.

i felt my cell phone go off and i excused myself, noting it was 9pm already.

i apparated to the apartment doorstep, knocking on the door just in case anything was happening. i checked the caller id, it was hermione.

fred opened the door, hair messy, still good looking. i smiled at him, patting his shoulder as i ran to the ringing telephone and picked it up.

"y/n!" i could just hear the beam in hermione's voice.

"'mione! how did it go?"

"absolutely wonderful, head auror, ahhh, he's so cute!"

"what happened?" i asked, smiling already.

"well it was really cold when i saw the picnic blanket, which was matching my dress for some weird reason, and ron was there in the cutest button up and he looked so handsoME and he gave me a flower, he's always handsome but i just can't! ahhhh!" she squealed and i clapped my hands in excitement.

"and then i was shivering and he gave me hiS JUMPER and it smelled like him and oh my gosh i think i might just be in love, y/n!"

i giggled, "my cooling charm did work!"

"whaT y/n????"

cackling, i said, "continue, i wanna hear more this is so adorable!!!"

i ignored the dirty glance fred gave me, quietening my voice.

"and then we had food and he said he had cooked it himself and was being such a dear and i told him that i loved him over and over again!!!"

i squealed silently again.

"and, and, gosh my english has gone out of the window!"

"english is nothing compared to the language of love!!" i giggled.

"we watched the sunset whilst cuddling, and i fell asleep and then when i woke up i was in his bed and he was looking at me intently and i just, i'm the luckiest girl alive!"

"you are but you deserve it! that's so sweet! i'm happy for you goshhh, you are the cutest couple. you're both such darlings!"

"and then we watched a muggle movie and he got scared of the spiders and it was so adorable ahhhhHHHH!!!"

"that's the cutesttttt," i gushed.

another dirty look from fred. i gave him a frown back.

"and then he walked me home and it started raining and we kissed in the rain and another check off of my bucketlist and oh my gosh he's so perfect."

"oh gosh that's beautiful," i was smiling uncontrollably.

"anyway," her tone changed into one of mischief, "wanna meet up tomorrow to talk about it?"

"sure thing! when and where? i'll be there!"

"erm, lemme chec- think," i heard the suspicious rustling of papers.

"you're sus. let's just talk about it over the phone. i don't want anything weird."

"how about 10 am in the morning at the field of fireflies?"

"that's a highly romantic place, miss minister. isn't it for couples or something?"

"no? you must be talking about fiona farm."

oh. "yeah, probs, well okay, it better have good coffee. i'm dying of boredom too, does it have a playground??" i asked, hopefully crossing my fingers.

"nope."

"awww, shucks, i don't think i'll go then. you wanna come over though?"

"no please come! there's a surprise!"

i was sold, "lovely. i'll be there at 9:30!"

"no, no, don't do that."

"what the hell, hermione, you're being so suspicious!"

"i'm not, okay? just come on time, you won't regret it."

"if there's any funny business i'm not committing arson ever again."

"oh crap."

i sighed.

"just come anyway!!! good night cheerio!!!"

"what the-"

the line ended.

i frowned, noticing the glare fred gave me yet again.

"is everything okay??" i asked him.

"no," he said rudely.

"well, do you need any help?"

"no."

"how was your day?"

"fine."

i sighed, "okay."

"you called ron cute."

i laughed lightly, "that's it?? and so what's kissing a girl huh, nothing? i called him cute because he treats 'mione like a goddess, because she is a goddess, for goodness sake. and he is cute, in a completely objective way," i added absentmindedly, "all you weasleys are."

he frowned.

"she kissed me!"

"oh i don't mind, i couldn't. my two braincells can't handle it. you kiss whoever you wanna, okay? live, laugh, love, and all that." i smiled.

he was silent.

"and we can talk after i meet up with hermione, okay?"

"okay."

"we don't needa if you don't wanna, of course. g'night."

"have a nice sleep."

the next morning, i got up and went to the field of fireflies or whatever.

it was a beautiful place. it was a full on field. meadows stretched across the near english countryside. the sky was clear and light, and the world around me was stunning.

winds blew from all directions, and i soon found myself accio!ing a jumper.

"hermioneeee???" i called, "you're leaving me hanging."

had hermione stood me up? i chuckled at the very thought, soon rolling in the field of flowers as i laughed.

"hermione you devil you stood me up! you left your poor little work wife hanging!" i shouted dramatically.

i suddenly spotted a little house? by the side of the meadow.

i ran towards it.

"whoa."

it was absolutely magnificent. beige little bricks were stacked on top of each other, grey bricks dotted in. the shillings were dark green, and plants hung out everywhere in the cracks of the house.

large windows which reflected the blue light in the sky spanned across the whole house, and a single wooden door stood ajar.

i just wish i had brought a camera. i sat on the grass, playing with the hem of my jumper sadly. even hermione didn't have time for me. i wondered what a sad person i must seem like.

"contemplating life there?" i heard a far off voice. i swung my head around, seeing fred standing and grinning.

yeah well duh i was, no thanks to you, i thought.

i immediately got up.

"we can talk here, right?" fred asked, as he brought me into the house.

"wow," inside, it was cluttered and messy, with plants sprouting everywhere and bookcases and things everywhere. i loved it.

"you like it?" he asked.

"love it."

"good, because i bought it," he laughed at my flabbergasted expression, "i'm rich, darlin'. let's sit, i cooked lunch."

"was this your plan? to have hermione stand me up?" i asked.

"love, i wouldn't call this a plan. simply just a boy trying to explain himself."

"look i don't need an explanation. i told you, you can love whoever you wanna, i don't mind, i don't care, i support."

"but i'm gonna have to explain because i wanna kiss you."

"then go ahead," i sighed, "if you're lying i will stab you."

"jeesh okay."

i looked at him.

"oh yeah, i forgot the food, here," he said casually, handing me a plate filled with yummy looking delicacies. i was willing to put up with his rubbish story telling for the food, i guess.

"alright, i'm all ears."

"okay. so she talked with you right?"

i nodded.

"did she take a piece of hair from you?”

i nodded again.

"so you came home just right about when the night lights flicker on in london. or so i thought it was you. it was actually, aphrodite, yeah? in polyjuice potion. and she knocked on the door, which i thought was strange. i opened it and she immediately kissed me, as you. and it was weird but it was you and i would give the world to kiss you like that," he said bluntly and i could feel my face heating up, "and then it went like that for a few seconds and she turned into pretoria, and by then the woman had her claws on me. then the door opened and i knew i had made a mistake and then you left and apologised so sweetly. i'm so so sorry, my love, please, i never meant to hurt you, i never meant to do anything. i broke up with her last year. i haven't wanted to be with her since. i want to be with you."

i looked at him. i knew he was genuine.

"okay. i'm sorry too, for not trusting you. i guess i was just really unsure of our relationship. it's still kinda blurry."

"what do you wanna be?"

"could we be official, please?"

he grinned, "of course."

then smiling sheepishly, he added, "can i kiss you now?"

"only if i'm the only girl you kiss from now on," i teased, smiling.

he blushed, placing my hands over his heart. it was beating very very fast.

"feel that, beautiful?"

i nodded.

"only you."

he gave me a cheesy grin and laughed at my blushing face, before tilting my head upwards and going in for a kiss but kissing my cheek.

"that's not fair!"

and that's how his head ended up falling into my lap, as i ran my fingers through his ginger strands.

he had fallen asleep just as the sunset began.

it was breathtaking. hues of orange and red danced across the sky.

"i can think of something a lot more beautiful than that," fred said, smiling.

"oh?"

"yeah. yeah."

"i don't believe you."

"that's because you can't see yourself right now."

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whattodowithkpop · 3 years

Text

Like a ticking clock (Seongwha)

Title: Like a ticking clock

Paring: Reader x Seongwha (ATEEZ)

Genre: Fluff, spice, slight angst but with a happy ending.

Word count: 2267

Writer: Kpopmadness (Ju)

A/N: @junquisite requested this from a Soulmates prompt. Letter T (Timer) soulmate AU with Seongwha. :D

The bell rang, jolting Seongwha from his daydream. The sound of the bell making him stop tracing patterns on his wrist. He sighed with relief that the day was finally over and he could go home. As he was putting away his books for the day he felt a gentle touch on his shoulder, making him glance to see who it was.

"You were rubbing your wrist again during class." His best friend said as she sat down in the chair opposite of him, Her long hair swooping over her shoulders and dancing along her backpack that she had placed on her lap as she stared intently at him.

Seongwha smiled shyly at her. Not sure what to say. "I can't help it. Ever since mine broke I have the weird feeling that I'm missing something. Even though I'm not really."

The thing that he was referring to was a small band about an inch wide with a small screen with dimly lit letters slayed across it. It wasn't a watch, it was nowhere near that simple. It was a countdown to meeting your soulmate.

It was something almost all young adults got by the time they were 13 years of age. Getting this soulmate watch, called Shadow, was the thing the world over agreed would lead to true happiness in people's love lives. Which did work, the divorce rates plummeted after Shadow was released. The cases of domestic abuse even went down. Because Shadow was designed to make people happy and find the one people were truly meant to be with.

Seongwha remembered going to the Shadow company with his parents when he was 13 to get his Shadow activated. Getting a Shadow was a choice made by all parents. But 95% of the worlds population had a Shadow. So his parents were one of those that decided to get him a Shadow. He didn't much care for knowing when he would meet his soulmate, but he went along for his parents. When it was placed on his wrist and the small screen glowed with life it read him his time.

9 years, 15 hours, 65 seconds

His mother glowed with excitement for him. He didn't quite know what to think of it. But he felt a small spark of joy light in his chest. That's why when he was 15 and he accidently broke his Shadow, he felt a strange sense of loss. His parents said they could replace it. But Seongwha didn't want to do that quite yet. Because he was unsure if he wanted to know if he even still had a soulmate now that he was in his last two months of high school. But ever since that day, he always rubbed his wrist. Reaching for the soft feel of the silicone band but never finding it there.

"You can just always get a new one, Seong." His best friend said softly, jolting him from his thoughts.

"I know I can." He said, standing up to throw his pack over his shoulder. "But you're one to talk about getting a Shadow, miss rebellious."

She smiled at his wit as they walked down the hall to the exit. "Some of us don't want a small device to tell us who we should be with."

Seongwha chuckled at her classic stubbornness. She was one of the few that never got a Shadow. Her parents had decided against it. And since it wasn't law that you were supposed to have a Shadow, she never had one. She swore she was happy without it. Which is something Seongwha admired about her a lot when they met when they were 11.

"Are we hanging out at my place later tonight?" She asked him, making him meet her eyes.

"Are we watching another horror film?" He whined, knowing how much she loved the classic horror movies. Especially the black and white films.

"No, its your turn to pick a movie tonight." She sassed back, playfully nudging his ribs with her elbow.

Seongwha let out a laugh. "I'll see you at 8 then?"

8:00 on Friday's being their stay up all night and watch movies routine since they were 16.

"See you then." She said cheerfully as they parted ways.

``````````

4 years later;

"Seongwha, we are not watching that movie again."

"Why not?" He argued. "It's a good movie."

She shoots him a glare as she slumps onto his couch in his studio apartment. "You have picked that movie nearly every time on Friday nights since High School."

"And you have an obsession with black and white horror films and insist on picking them every time its your turn to pick." Seongwha shoots back.

"It is not an obsession!" She says as she throws a pillow at him, making him laugh.

"Fine, we'll both pick a new movie this time." He said, caving into her wishes. There was no point in arguing over it now after they had kept up their movie night ritual for years.

She smiled at him as he sat down on the couch beside her. Both of them going through their options of new movies and shows to start. They finally settled on a newer romantic movie and settled in to watch it. Her head rested on his shoulder like it almost always did. Their physical closeness nothing new to either one of them. It was comforting to them. As the movie progressed, Seongwha felt his fingers trace the spot of where his Shadow used to be. He still kept a mental timer of when he was supposed to meet his soulmate. But this was the year it was supposed to happen, and the year was half over and nothing had happened to him. And he had no way of knowing who it was or when they would enter his life.

Seongwha let out a sigh and let his hand fall away from tracing his wrist. He forced his attention back on the characters playing out on the screen. As he scooted down further into the couch, her head remained on his shoulder. Making him rest his head against hers with a content sigh. Even if he didn't have a soulmate, he knew he could always rely on her to be there.

The movie hit its climax for the couple on the screen. Leading to a passionate kissing scene between the two. Seongwha felt her tense beside him, knowing she got uncomfortable with these types of scenes. But his heartbeat went up when he fingers traced his wrist where his Shadow used to be. Her touches felt different in that moment somehow.

Heat coursed through him as she lifted her head slowly to meet his eyes. Their gaze lasting much longer than normal. Seongwha's eyes darted from her eyes to her mouth, unsure what to do. He had always viewed them as just friends. But in that moment he felt very differently.

He opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by her lips crashing against his. He froze beneath her touch, his lips unwilling to move. But then as if by second nature his lips enclosed hers and his eyes drifted shut, letting every touch soak in completely. His hands drifted until he found her thighs and brought her onto his lap. Her hands sliding from his chest up to weave through his hair.

Seongwha placed a hand on the back of her neck and pulled her even closer to him, suddenly unable to get her close enough to him. He let his tongue run against hers, making her sigh out into his mouth and a rush of adrenaline course through his veins like fire.

She pressed her body closer to his, her teeth biting his lower lip until he could feel it had swollen slightly. His hands shook slightly as they found their way under her shirt, making her tense to his tracings down her spine.

She pulled away from his mouth only slightly to whisper, ''Can we take this to your room?" She asked between labored breaths.

Seongwha felt the words form in his throat, he could feel his arms carry her back to his room. But the words never left his mouth and the actions never followed through.

"I… we can't." He whispered, pulling his hands out from under her shirt.

She met his eyes, hurt and confusion lacing them. "Why?"

"Because… what if we aren't soulmates?" He asked quietly.

You didn't have to listen to what Shadow said about meeting your soulmate. Some never met their soulmate due to them passing away. That left them with the choice of going with someone that wasn't your soulmate, or never trying to replace the love you dreamed of getting from the one that was supposed to be made for you.

But Seongwha had seen it happen before. He had seen where two people fell in love that weren't soulmates. And it might have worked for awhile or right at first. But nothing hurts worse than one day seeing your real soulmate on the street and having the burning thought that you could've made all the right memories with that one. And from their any founded relationship rarely lasts.

She slides off his lap, sitting beside him. Her lips swollen and her eyes brimming with tears. "So you're saying you can’t be with me because you don't think we're meant to be together?"

Seongwha shook his head, trying to take her hands in his but only to have her shrink away from him.

"No, no, no that isn't what I'm saying. I'm just saying that I remember this was supposed to be the year I found my soulmate. And I can't put you through the pain of getting attached to me only to see who was really meant to be with me walk into my life."

She shook her head, tears starting to streak down her cheeks. "You have obsessed over that stupid device since we were kids, Seongwha. And I have loved you since we were 15. But maybe you're right. If you're so obsessed over finding your soulmate then, fine. Maybe we just need to call this off right now."

She stood to leave, quickly going to the door to put on her shoes and coat. Seongwha quickly stood up, his own heart beginning to ache and throb.

"That isn't what I meant and you know it." He snapped. "I don't want to hurt you. A soulmate can be a close friend but it rarely ever works out that way. And I never knew a kiss could mean as much to me as yours just did but I just don't want to hurt you later."

She opened the door and sighed, looking at him through bleary eyes. "Just save it." She whispered brokenly before shutting the door behind her. Leaving Seongwha in the dark.

A few days passed and they did manage to talk things out some. But things were awkward and they couldn't get around it. That's why when she got a job offer on the other side of the world Seongwha felt it was wrong to stop her from going. Wrong to stop her from being happy.

``````

2 years later;

Seongwha walked through the park with a mass of butterflies swirling in his stomach. He placed his fingers on his right wrist again to feel the soft silicone pressed against his skin. He had bought a new Shadow a year ago. He expected not to have a soulmate anymore since the year he was supposed to have one came and went. But that wasn't the case. It ticked and ticked until it got to this day. A day he was anxious for.

But nothing could have prepared him for the person he saw in the park. Standing by the railings over looking the river was his first kiss, his best friend, and now, with how his Shadow was blinking rapidly with a red heart dancing on the screen and how she looked down at her watch to see it doing the same, he knew she was going to be a lot more than all those things in the future.

When their eyes met across the small space between them, their eyes filled with tears. And Seongwha didn't fight it when she wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. Her familiar scent filling his nose and soothing him.

"You got a Shadow after all." He lightly teased, his head still buried in her neck.

She let out a watery chuckle. "Because I got curious. And I always hoped it would be you on the other side of all this. Because I have missed you so much and I am so sorry about--"

Seongwha silenced her by taking her face in his hands and attaching his lips to hers. Joy sparking in his chest. She melted into his touch, wrapping her arms around his waist.

Slowly, Seongwha pulled away, smiling down at her as their noses brushed each other. "I missed you too." He whispered, making his smile up at him.

#kpop x reader #ateez masterlist #ateez imagines #ateez x reader #seonghwa ateez #ateez seonghwa #ateez #ateez angst #ateez fluff #Ateez spice #kpop #x reader #kpop fanfiction #fanfiction #fluff #kpopmadness admin #kpopmadness writings #writing prompts

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hwauas · 3 years

Text

🕊️: "the lost prince" (6)

park seonghwa (박성화) - 2,269 words

the lady came into the room as soon as she got the permission. she lowered her head a little, and Seonghwa and you bowed respectfully in front of her.

“you don't have to be this formal. and you can call me Iseul.”

she sat on a chair next to your boyfriend's bed. even her posture was showing how elegant and sophisticated she was.

“i wanted to come, because.. you know, news are spreading quite rapidly..”

“and so, you wanted to come and see the new city's attraction?”

Seonghwa sighed as he looked down. he felt deeply hurt — yet, he didn't let her speak.

“Seonghwa, honey, you should let her speak. don't be this rude. i know things are hard but no one would make fun of you.”

the tension in the atmosphere seemed to have increase so abruptly. Iseul was looking down, feeling almost guilty for coming here when the reasons that brought her here wasn't the ones Seonghwa talked about.

you softly grabbed Seonghwa's hand, to try and soothe him. your thumb was stroking his hand mindlessly.

the woman seemed to be waiting for something — and you weren't stupid: you knew she was waiting for a permission to keep going.

as you were still calming down Seonghwa, you mentioned her to keep going.

“to be honest with you Seonghwa.. i lost my child years ago. but i know that, somewhere else in this world, he's living. i just don't know where..”

the lady was looking at Seonghwa with a kind of protection in her eyes. she was talking about a tough time of her life, yet her eyes and whole face was showing off something else than sadness.

“i understand how you may feel. i understand how hard is it to have no family. since the day i lost my child, my husband is my only family. i believe you think this beautiful person by your side is your only family now? but you have a real family, blood related, waiting for you somwhere in this world. just as i'm waiting for my baby to come back home.”

a tear started to fall down your boyfriend's cheek, and then an another. you hated to see them. they were the physical representation of the pain he was feeling.

“how did you face the truth? there's one moment you have to accept the truth. you can't deny this for ever.”

“there is not a right way to do it. you know you had the choice when you realise you don't have the choice anymore.”

the woman was looking at Seonghwa. you knew she was sharing the same pain as him deep down.

“if you're indeed the lost prince.. i'm sure the King and the Queen are waiting for you, and are ready to give you all their love.”

“i don't really wanna think about that.. about being.. the lost prince.. i'm not strong enough to handle this. i just can't be a prince.”

Seonghwa suddenly held on your hand tightly.

“plus, as y/n said to me right before you came.. our worlds would be different, and i can't imagine a life without her/him anymore.”

“oh, Seonghwa.. if you indeed are the lost prince.. why would you have to break up with her/him? that doesn't make sense. the King and the Queen would be thankful she/he was here for you throughout this tough moment of your life. and rules are less strict than you think! there is no reason they won't accept your soulmate.”

you frowned. you studied a lot royalty, monarchy and everything which was related to this world. and it was even your speciality.

“but every books i've read, and every people i talked to about this agreed with me: there is a lack of freedom as a prince. King and Queen often rule their child's life.”

the woman laughed. you wondered if she was in pain or something. her laugh almost sounded hypocrite and fake.

“what's written in books are not always true. things are not set for ever. they evolve through the time.”

Seonghwa squeezed your hand softly, and rested his head on your shoulders. he whispered ‘we'll see later’ to you. you were looking down to your hands linked together. the woman was looking at you both, with the same protection she showed before.

the whole atmosphere was less tensed than before.

###

later in the day, in a different place.

the woman was now wearing her crown again. she was stunnier than before. her hair was again tied up in the most gracefully way possible. her dress was quite simple, way different from the large dress from our clichés: white, with trompet sleeves, not that huge and with beautiful details.

she was walking through the corridors, and stopped in front of a door leading to a large living room. there were hundreds and hundreds of books on different shelfs. the room was bright because of the sun rays, and the light colours of the room.

a man was standing in front of a window. he was wearing a crown too. no need to be smart to know he was the woman's husband. she approached him slowly.

“each new days without our son is hurtful..”

the man said almost in a whisper. this words weren't enough to describe the pain in his heart the destiny took his son away from him, his only treasure.

“i talked to him today. he's so beautiful.. he looks like you.”

“you.. what?”

the man turned over to face his wife. she seemed to be happy, after 16 years of sadness.

“you don't want to stay updated with the news because you're afraid we finf our son. you're afraid of the day we will be reunited together, because you missed him so much that you don't know how you will react. or you're afraid we may learn we've found our son, but dead. you're afraid of good and bad news. but i'm not. this little human lived inside of me for 9 months. i held his head when i had to breastfeed him. he's the only one for whom i went on my knees to tie his shoes. he's the only one i cried for when he came to the world.”

the woman wiped away few tears. she was trying to hold them back, but it was hurting even more: she needed to cry. not to mention the knot in her throat because of her tears.

“he means the world to him and, unlike you, i'm waiting for this day they would say they found him, or they have a serious trail. and today.. they said they were having a trail.”

“what do you mean..?”

the man seemed to be too shocked to process. any information seemed to be fully understood.

“it's been a while i didn't say 'Seonghwa'..”

the man approached his wife, and took her shoulders. his eyes were teary. he couldn't believe what he's heard from his wife. he waited for this day for so long..

“when i'm seriously thinking about abdicating.. stars give me my son back to take my place..”

he kissed his wife's forehead. the emotions were taking the leads, and he couldn't hold back his tears anymore.

“so you were serious, in this letter..”

“you found it?”

the king sighed. he starred to walk around, aimlessly, and stopped again in front of the window.

“the waiting is so hard for me. it consumed all my energy. and i'm getting old.. i don't want the country to see me getting old, and i'm not living in my time to take decision. i wanted to wait for fleur-de-lis to come back before making this letter public. the country needs him as a king now. and a new queen.”

“i'm not sure he's ready for that.. and his girlfriend/boyfriend either.”

she sat on a sofa, looking at his husband's shapes.

“his what?”

“hey, understand him. understand them. he has no idea he's a prince. and even though she/he believes Seonghwa is the prince, just as the policemen in charge of the case, Seonghwa doesn't want to hear this possibility. he just followed his heart by dating her/him. he wasn't doing anything else because he has no idea of the rules.”

the woman was strongly protecting your relationship with his son. she would let her body and her soul to protect you both in front of the king, because one thing she concluded about the meeting is that you were both in love and none of you was ready to face this.

“they're of course not ready to hear the truth one moment or another. they're afraid their worlds would be different and they would have to break up.”

“that's true! they have to break up! it's not the rules, and he has to marry a real princess, not a peasant!"

“first, because she/he comes from an another background doesn't mean she/he is a peasant. you better take this back, Park Junghoon. then, you can't break them apart. you know he still can lives by his someone's sides, even though their worlds are different. and finally, if you go against them, i doubt you would have a heir. do you wanna stay there until you die so i take the leads instead because you don't have a heir — or should i say because you refused to let him live his love story for shitty rules? do you wanna be the king until your last breath? do you want your country to see you getting old, and to see you die? do you want your only son to be mad at you because you imposed him your rules when the only thing he was asking for was to be reunited again with his family by his girlfriend's/boyfriend's sides?”

she was speaking firmly to be sure his husband would understand. but honestly, it wasn't the first time they were arguing. since someone took their son away from them, their relationship got even more fragile days after days.

“no, you don't. so if you wanna make this letter public, you better accept her/him when he'll be back. or else, you would definitely lose him. and me this time. no queen anymore, no prince as future king, no daughter-in-law/son-in-law anymore to be a future queen/king. you'd be alone and you'd have to stay there until the end.”

the queen stood up from her sofa, and started to walk away.

“take this as a way to thank him/her. because since the very first day they met each other until now, she/he never let Seonghwa down. and for the moment, Seonghwa has no one else. without this person by his side, i don't even think he would still be alive..”

she opened the door. but before leaving, she stopped to add one last thing.

“your daughter-in-law/son-in-law, if you accept it, is Choi y/n.”

the woman left the room. the king was speechless — he knew his wife was right. he couldn't take you away from Seonghwa. impossible.

###

after the woman left Seonghwa's room, you gave your boyfriend his clothes to be comfortable in his own clothes rather than in the hospital's clothes. and you even changed yourself in more comfortable clothes.

Seonghwa ate the meal tray normally, and the nurse even did her best to get you one to eat with him. it wasn't the best food you've ever eaten, yet it was enough for you.

and after this moment with him, eating and talking about everything and anything, you both layed down in each other's arms. you were looking through the window, at the starry night.

“a clear night like that.. it reminds me of our prom date.”

you were almost daydreaming, thinking about this night.

“it was literally two days ago.”

Seonghwa gently mocked you. he was looking at your sparkling eyes with a bright smile.

“prince of my heart, don't make fun of me.”

“the only kingdom i wanna rule.”

Seonghwa giggled as he pulled you closer to his chest. he even kissed your forehead multiple times.

“i really don't want to be the prince. i hope my family is somewhere else..”

“if we forget about the fact that would mean having a statute.. i just wish you find your family. them or not, i don't care. i want to thank your real mom for giving birth to you.”

you wrapped both your arms around your boyfriend's waist. you also rested your head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat.

“i'm afraid to meet my parents, to be honest.. i don't know how things will be going.”

“i understand the unknown may scare you. but you can't avoid this for ever. it's hurting you, you know that. and it's hurting them. you'll get to know the truth about what happened. there's a lot to win by finding them, and meeting them.”

Seonghwa only nodded. he was now the one looking at the dark sky while you were half asleep against his chest, under the blanket. the stars and the mood was lightening up perfectly the room, without making it too bright. it didn't take you too much time to fall into a light sleep.

“i'm so afraid y/n... i don't wanna lose you by meeting them.. you said the truth thinking about me but.. i'm ready to give up on my family for you..”

he kissed your forehead as he held you tighter. he was looking at you sleeping, and quickly fell asleep too.

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starktonyx · 5 years

Text

I could never forget you - Peter Parker x reader

Word count: 2.9k

Description: After years of mourning and people telling you to move on from the blip, Peter and you finally reunite since he vanished five years ago.

*Flashbacks are in italics

Masterlist

Peter Parker was your very first love, and you never imagined you would have to live one day without him, much less five years. Since you started dating his whole world revolved around you, and the way he looked at you? It was like he stared at the entire universe being held by your eyes. Every kiss, every touch, always so special, so passionate you never got tired of each other. You both were inseparable. The kind of high school couple that swears they'll be together their whole lives.

But all of that stopped with a single snap.

Five years ago Peter Parker was taken, ripped away from you. The love of your life was gone, along with 3.5 billion people because of a damn snap. The whole world was torn, everyone lost someone, everyone was broken. You were broken and lonely, with just the memory of what Peter and you used to have.

You mourned him for a long time, the five stages of grief really were a pain in the ass to get through. Some would say five years are enough to forget someone, to move on and continue with life, but everyone recovered differently. Because, how could you forget the way Peter squinted his eyes when he laughed? how could you forget about the way his eyes shined every time he talked about something he loved? how could you forget about how cute his messy curls looked in the morning after he woke up? How could you, his best girl, his darling, forget about the way his hands tenderly caressed your body as his lips devoured you everyday?

How could you even dare to think about forgetting Peter Parker?

So you certainly didn't, the thought of him was always a part of your day. And even though you didn't cry anymore, even though it didn't hurt as much now, you still replayed in your head the last time you had seen him as one of your most treasured memories.

"Peter stop, you can't leave a mark now" You giggled as your boyfriend left soft wet kisses on your neck while you played with his brown curls.

You both had managed to ask for a bathroom pass and sneak into the janitor's closet – very classy – to make out before Peter left for the school trip, one you wouldn't be able to go to because you didn't share that class with Peter, and your trip was set for another day.

"I just can't seem to stop, darling" Peter chuckled and stopped for a second to give you a smirk, to then continue playing with your neck.

You laughed again, at first glance you wouldn't think Peter Parker would sneak out with a girl to make out during class, but what wouldn't that boy do for you.

"Baby, you know how much I love it, but..." You slurred and pushed his chest with your hands to stop him, to which he pouted and crossed his arms. "Oh come on love, we'll have more time later, in a more comfortable place" You said as you pointed out the cleaning supplies around you.

"I know, I just needed to kiss my girl before I left. You have no idea how you light up my day" He admitted and your eyes softened as he cupped your cheeks in his hands, you put yours on top of his. "I just love you so much, you know that right?" He asked and even though the room had poor illumination, you could still see the admiring gaze he was giving you.

One thing you loved about him is that he always made sure you knew how much you meant to him.

"Yes Peter, I know" You smiled and gave his right hand a side kiss, to which he smiled back. "And you know I love you just as much, you make me so happy" You affirmed and pecked his lips. You both enjoyed that moment for a bit, until Peter's watch alarm went off.

"Alright, it's time to go" Peter sighed after checking the watch on his wrist. "I guess I'll see you later darling"

"See you later spiderman"

Except that never happened and you never saw him again. And you thought it would stay like that, because weeks after everything happened you went to the avengers compound seeking for answers, to see if they had a plan to bring them back, only to be sent back home by the defeated heroes.

So years passed by, and the world never fully recovered. Thankfully your parents weren't part of the dusted ones so they kept you sane throughout the years, until you graduated and moved from their home to an studio apartment on your own to start your college life. Even though it's been a few months since you moved, there were still scattered boxes here and there, ones you couldn't bring yourself to open.

When the snap happened, in the midst of all confusion you ran to Peter's apartment, only to find out May was gone as well. Months later people were being relocated in empty apartments and the stuff of the people who disappeared were removed and taken to storage units. You didn't want Peter's stuff in a random cellar, so you took it into your own hands to take his stuff and some of May's to put it in a safe place. Just in case. Those tear stained boxes now laid in a corner of your current bedroom.

You curiously stared at one of the boxes, it's been a long time since you saw what was inside of them. You slowly walked and sat on the floor next to it, wondering if you were ready to go through it. I mean, you didn't cry anymore, right? So you cautiously cut the tape that kept it closed, and the first thing your eyes landed on made you smile.

No. You didn't cry anymore.

It was a framed picture of you both being as happy as ever. Your eyes were squinted from your laugh as Peter kissed your cheek and side hugged you like there was no tomorrow. You still remember everything so clearly, it was the day of the homecoming and May insisted for photos.

"Come on guys, just be serious for a moment" She sighed as you both kept making funny faces to the camera instead of posing.

"Alright alright May" Peter laughed once more.

He suddenly made a serious face, as he straightened his posture and put his hands together in front of him, looking like some secret agent. So you went along with it and lifted your chin, putting a hand on your hip as if you were his secret agent partner. May just rolled her eyes but still smiled at the teenagers.

"Sike!"

Just as she was about to capture you, Peter quickly grabbed you and kissed your cheek, you laughed at the sudden movement as the flash went off.

"Peter!" May whined at her nephew, but when she saw how cute the picture turned out, she couldn't help but smile at it.

Peter had loved that picture so much that he framed it and kept it on his desk.You looked so young in that picture, years had gone by and you weren't a teenager anymore after all. You carefully swiped a layer of dust that covered the frame and placed it in your bedside table. The next thing in the box was his favorite sweater, a beautiful blue crewneck that he seemed to wear almost every single day making it impossible for you to steal it, but you couldn't complain when Peter looked so cute in it. You wondered if the soft fabric still smelled like him, but after a quick sniff you realized that was not the case. It was a cold day today, so you happily threw the sweater on, feeling instantly cozy and warm.

You kept going through things that brought you memories and even though tears weren't present, the nostalgic feeling was still there. You decided one box was enough for today, so you went to take a little nap, after you found Peter's fuzzy blanket you both loved to cuddle in.

After what appeared to be hours of sleep, you were woken up by loud knocks on your door. Confused, you realized it was dark already. You quickly got up from your bed and, irritated by the persistent knocks, hurriedly walked towards the door turning on some lights on the way. You looked through the peephole first, but what your eyes saw made you choke a cry and cover your mouth with your hands.

It was like a bucket of cold water was thrown over you, your whole body paralyzed as your heart started beating faster and faster and suddenly you stopped hearing the knocks, all you could hear now was your heart beat ringing in your ears. You felt dizzy as the whole room started spinning and tears blurred your vision. Your brain couldn't process the image of Peter standing right on the other side of the door.

Your Peter.

You placed a shaking hand on the doorknob and slowly twisted it, revealing your dead vanished boyfriend. You stood there, lips quivering and teary eyes, as you took in how he looked in front of you.

His hair was wet and all over the place, his once defined curls now tangled and falling over his forehead. He was wearing an iron-like suit you hadn't seen before, but instead of looking new it was torn apart in most places. His beautiful face – that hadn't aged a bit – was adorned by scratches, dry patches of blood and dirt. But his eyes were what hurt you the most, you could see the heartbreak in them, the pain. They were swollen and red, like he'd been crying for hours.

He looked torn. And even though you didn't physically feel that way, you spent too many years feeling like that on the inside too.

"H-hi" His broken voice came out almost inaudible, and it made your heart ache grow.

You never thought you'd hear his voice ever again,yet here you were. You tilted your head as you contemplated for a moment the idea of him not being real, not being alive. I mean, you just opened his belongings this morning, was your mind playing sick games with you? because, what were the odds of the universe giving you back what it had relentlessly taken from you?

On the other side of the door, Peter was terrified. Scared that you might had forgotten him in those five years he got unfairly stolen, scared that you wouldn't welcome him like he expected. His hands were shaking and he didn't exactly know what to say, and his fear only increased more when you just stood there staring at him, and that's when he analyzed your crying appearance.

Only five years had passed by, yet you looked noticeably older than when he last saw you, and considering that for him it was just 'yesterday' that was crazy for the teenager. Your messy hair wasn't the length he remembered, and you had surprisingly lightened it up a little bit. Your lips were partly open, and he noticed how you struggled to keep your sobs to yourself, but the tears just kept falling. This action only broke Peter's heart a little bit more, he hated seeing you cry. Even more when the reason was him.

"You ... you weren't at your parent's house" Peter said softly, as if a louder voice would scare you away. "So I- Karen helped me find you here"

The boy explained as he slowly took a step forward, waiting for you to back off, but he was surprised when you got even closer. Your mind was going wild, and you just needed to confirm he was really there.

You slowly guided your hand to meet his cheek, and when your hand finally made a gentle contact with his skin, real skin, you let out another choked sob.

"Y-You're real" Your nervous laugh followed by Peter's filled the room. "You're really here"

"I'm here darling, and I'm not going anywhere this time" the boy affirmed constantly nodding his head, and a bright smile accompanied his sparkling eyes.

"Oh my god, Peter" You sobbed when you finally jumped in his arms, and he gratefully welcomed you, strongly wrapping you in his embrace. "It's been s-so long" You cried in his chest as he caressed your head with his hand.

"I know darling, I know" he mumbled and he couldn't help but join your sobs. "I'm so so sorry" He apologized about a million times as you both cried in each other's arms.

You stood there for a moment, just embraced in each other's arms. You had miss his arms so much, you had miss him. But happiness doesn't last forever, as you were brought back to reality with three simple words.

"Tony is dead" Peter abruptly announced and you separated from him to meet his eyes, confusion was evident in your features. "He sacrificed himself, he's the reason we're all here"

He never called him Tony, ever. And that's when you realized that was the reason of his somber appearance when you first opened the door. The reason why he looked so torn.

"Peter I- I'm so sorry" You were now the one apologizing trying to somehow comfort the boy, and now he was the one sobbing on the crook of your neck.

"He's gone Y/N, he's really gone"

You realized it was time to bring him into the apartment and take care of him. After he took a shower you gave him some clothes you had found earlier in the box. You patched up most of his wounds, and you were grateful for some of them already healing. You were finally able to cuddle in your bed, tightly gripping each other as if he would vanish at any given moment. You both were quiet for a while, ever so slightly caressing each other, and occasionally dropping a tear.

Peter was still scared that you might reject him – even though you were laying in the same bed – for all he knew, you could be a totally different person, but he had wanted to kiss you since he was brought back to the world. So he gently cupped your cheeks, you stared into each other's eyes, sharing different types of pain and heartbreak, and finally decided to merge into a kiss. It was slow, yet needy, gentle, yet passionate. It was filled with so much love and desperation.

It was perfect.

Your hands traveled through Peter's hair and you felt him smile into the kiss, to which you corresponded. You both devoured each other until your lungs craved oxygen and you had to separate, only to admire Peter's swollen red lips.

"Is this my sweater?" He suddenly asked staring down at his favorite piece of clothing, and you let out a genuine laugh for the first time in a while.

"Yes Peter, I found it today" You sighed as you explained, and he curiously looked around the room to find his things scattered around a box. He guessed it had something him finding out earlier that his apartment was no longer his. "I- I just couldn't bring myself to open that stuff before, and when I did today I certainly didn't expect you to be here with me"

Peter felt so many emotions in that moment, anger being the main one, for being ripped away from you for five years. And he certainly was surprised by how you easily you welcomed him back considering the time you involuntarily spent apart, but never doubt for a moment that he was grateful that you still wanted him.

"I ... It's so hard to wrap my mind around what happened, it's been so long, but for me it's like I never went away" He confessed, sighing deeply. "When I woke up in another planet the first thing they told me was how many years passed, and I didn't have time to process what that really meant until the fight with Thanos was over. And then all I could think about was wether you still loved me or had forgotten me. And I was so scared darling, so damn scared because I wasn't ready to lose you"

"I could never forget you Peter" You assured softly. "The day you vanished everything changed so suddenly and I was terrified because I didn't know how to live a life without you, I mean, we were supposed to graduate and have a life together and then you were gone. People kept telling me to move on, but how could I? How could anyone move on from something like that? The world was ripped in half, some people lost everything Peter, it was so hard and I-"

"Hey hey hey" He interrupted you when he noticed you would start crying again. "It's okay baby, it's okay I'm here. Like I said, I'm not going anywhere" He hugged you and you enjoyed feeling safe in his arms for the first time in a while.

"I need you to know I still love you, I never stopped loving you" You mumbled with your head buried in his chest. He laughed and gently kissed your head.

"I love you too darling"

Since that moment Peter didn't have more doubts about your feelings towards him, because even though five years were a long period of time, they weren't enough for you to forget your first love.

2K notes · View notes

fumbling-fanfics · 4 years

Text

Lewis Tan x Reader...

Prompt/Idea: Fuck her like her ex is living in the apartment downstairs.

This wasn't a request, just something me and @crushed-pink-petals chatted about. Then I started writing and I was forcing it so I forgot about it and then I saw it when I wanted to write and now I'm happy with it. So moral of the story, write what you can and leave them on ice for another date.

Warnings: Smut

**********************************************

Lewis pressed you into the couch with his body as you kissed. His mouth moved from yours, across your jaw, finding the side of your neck as he ground his hips into yours. You moaned into his ear as your hands went under his cotton t-shirt, feeling the heat of his skin, and the movements of his muscles beneath.

Your drew your nails lightly down his back under his t-shirt . He released the skin of your neck, and groaned into your neck. “Take this off.” you breathed, tugging on his shirt. His mouth released your neck, no doubt to return at a later point to finish the love bite.

In a split of a second, his shirt was gone. Then so was yours. Lewis managed to shimmy you out of your jeans. Then his jeans where gone - boxers too. You're not sure when you lost your underwear. Maybe you weren't wearing any.

Lewis always managed to make the simple moment toe curlingly intense. Which made you wetter and everything a hundred times more sexy.

He cupped the side of your face, his thumb hooking into your mouth as he balanced his weight on his elbow and forearm while his other hand disappeared down between you both.

As soon as you felt his fingers brush along your stomach - you knew what was coming, Lewis knew you knew what was coming. Your fingers trembled on the back of his neck in anticipation. Your heart pounder in your chest as you felt his hand dip between your legs. He cups you, dragging his fingers between your folds, gathering your arousal in his hand. He uses it lubricate himself, drawing his hand up and down his length from base to tip.

If you could repeat the feeling of Lewis entering you you would. It makes you stomach muscles flutter like butterflies.

He holds still to savour the feeling of being in you. How you dance around him, trying to pull him deeper.

His other hand, now finished between you both, slide under your lower back, and as he slide into you he tilted your hip upwards. It wasn't even that big of a tilt, but as usual it just has your eyes rolling into the back of your head and your fingernails scraping against the back of his head. Lewis shudders.

"You want me to stop" Lewis grinned, his hips still moving in that way that meant you couldn't catch your breath. You couldn't speak, just pulling Lewis closer to you. His stomach against yours, his chest against yours.

There was the sound of knocking on a door, but you could no longer see the TV so you weren't sure if it was the TV or actually someone at your door.

"No" For a moment you were lost in the movement of his hips and the dirty things he was whispering into your ear.

The banging on the door sounds again. Now it was obvious that the noise wasn't coming from the TV.

"The door"

"Ignore it" the banging is more impatient, obvious it's was not knuckles against the door but a palm.

"Someone is at the door. Open the door" Lewis doesn't stop immediately. He changes the angel of his thrusts watching as you fall quiet with a gasp.

"No" he grins pulling your hands from your mouth, the moan mixed with a curse shuddering out as you came.

"Good girl" he praises with a kiss on your forehead. You can't help but whimper when he pulls out, getting up off the floor. You really didn't remember being on the floor, you thought you were on the couch.

You want to get up too, cover yourself with the quilt that's under you. But your body says no.

Lewis gets up to answer the door. He knows you're mostly hidden by the couch so he doesn't need to wait for you to cover you up. He already knows exactly who's gonna be at the door.

"Hi" Lewis grins opening the door wide. Wide enough that the person can see into the apartment, but also see that Lewis is naked. Butt naked.

"Erm-" your ex quickly averts his eyes up to the hallway ceiling. It's one thing to see another man naked. It's another to see him with a hard on and naked. And a very different thing to see another man who is dating your ex naked, hard and most definitely still wet from having sex with her.

"How can I help you?“ Lewis smirks. It's the smirk that somehow doesn't get him punched in the face.

Your ex is your ex because well according to him - things change. Which in the interest of self preservation you didn't fight, you can't force someone to stay with you. But now there was a seed of doubt growing in your ex's mind as he caught Lewis' physic in the corner of his eye. Did you break up with him because he didn't look like Lewis?

Ripped was almost an understatement. He was cut and your ex suddenly wanted to know what his secret or what Men's Health routine would get him on his way to looking like Lewis.

But then everyone knew abs where made in the kitchen. So what was Lewis eating… Apart from you (and very well by the sounds of things)?

And Lewis' dick. While you're ex was not in the category of small or below average, he certainly was not packing the way Lewis was. He wanted a better look, for comparison purposes later, so risked moving his gaze from the ceiling to the floor.

Did you and your ex break up because of his size and performance? Another seed of doubt. Because when he thought about it, he didn't technically break up break up with you, it was more like a break that got out of hand, right?

And there's a tattoo down there too! Like it's the world's dumbest placed tattoo. But your ex also thinks it's the coolest tattoo, the tattoo that no doubt says 'best dick of your life' - a nice preview before the main show. Maybe he could get a tattoo down there, but then hell was also more likely to freeze over. Plus he wouldn't look cool like Lewis did.

Lewis extends a hand, in an implied 'good talk' way. "I'm Lewis. Lewis Tan" your ex doesn't know why, but he extends his hand too, shaking Lewis' hand.

Why was he shaking hands with the naked guy who was now banging (and very well by the sounds of things) his ex? He was probably gripping the hand he used on you minutes earlier.

You're ex mumbled his name, cursing himself for not saying his name with more umph. With his chest. "Cool, well we'll try and keep it down"

Try. Try. The way Lewis said try, your ex knew he wasn't going to 'try' and do anything. He'd probably just end up being louder.

"See ya" Lewis shut the door before anything else could be said.

"What did they say?" you're ex's girlfriend asks as he returns to the apartment from his failed telling off. But he didn't hear, he was too busy thinking about Lewis. And you. And we'll mainly Lewis.

"Babe! Did they say they would be quite" he snapped out of his trance.

"I think so"

"You think so, they either said yes or no!"

"Well I only spoke to Lewis"

"Whose Lewis?"

“Y/n's new boyfriend. He answered the door. Naked"

"What!“ your ex moved to the kitchen sink to wash his hands. Not out of offence, just out of the thought that he couldn't really go around with possible traces of you on his hands.

“He opened the door and he was naked. No clothes on. Just a hard on… That lasted the entire chat, it didn't move once"

In the moment of silence the muffled moans and cries of pleasure could be heard again. This time it sounded like you and Lewis had moved from the living room to the bedroom.

"Are you fucking serious" your ex's girlfriend shouts up at the ceiling, stamping a foot.

"To be fair it's not that loud. The walls are shit, remember we heard all of that Golden Girls Marathon from Ms Yeatman's apartment"

And it wasn't really. It was just while you're ex and his girlfriend ate dinner in front of the TV, they realised they probably should have picked a show that had less silent intense moments where only looks were shared between the characters. The show just wasn't the same when the moments were punctured with "Oh my god" or moans that made both blush.

You're never sure why you take the lift in your building anymore, it's painfully slow. But then again you're exhausted and are only leaving the apartment based on Lewis' promise of pancakes.

On hearing that word you threw on a pair of leggings, flip flops, a top and Lewis hoodie and stumbled into the lift.

It's only when the doors open and you see your ex that you remember the other reason you don't get the lift.

"Y/n" he mumbles. You just give him a slight acknowledging nod.

You stay where you are and let your ex take the wall furthest from you. It's not really an awkward silence, but it's not an not awkward silence. You're praying he doesn't speak.

Eventually the lift slows to a stop and the doors open slowly.

"About last night" you look at the gap and wonder if you should try and squeeze through it.

"Yeah, sorry. But don't worry, you won't have to deal with it for much longer-" the gap is wider so you chance it.

"Yep, I'm moving out" you keep a couple of steps ahead, seeing Lewis' figure outside your apartment entrance.

"What? When?" you push open the entrance door without answering. "See ya" you skip up to Lewis, trickling his sides. He spins around tackling you in hug like he hasn't seen you for a while.

"Let's go before I have to answer questions about me moving out" you whisper as you tuck yourself under Lewis' arm. "At least he didn't stare at you dick" Lewis grins. You ugly laugh.

"He did not!" you snort

"He did too"

"Well it is a nice dick" you shrug.

"Maybe you wanna look at it after pancakes" Lewis cocks his head your way, his cheeky grin accentuated by his glasses.

**********************************************

Tags: @ellixthea @lovelymari4 @chaneajoyyy

@honeychicana @beaminglife @amelatonin @themyscxiras @crushed-pink-petals @lady-olive-oil @jojolu @endless00paradise @est1887 @cajunpeach @melinda-january @profoundlynerdywolf @deathonyourtongue @designerwriterchic @itsbqueenthings @alicesfracturedmirror @joebob15274 @write-fromthe-start @islanddgal @tarashari-tfp @dc41896 @princess-evans-addict @amethyst-dreams-and-candy-canes @islanddgal @c-cqat

#lewis tan #Lewis tan x Reader #Poc OC #Woc oc #Lewis tan fanfic #Lewis tan imagine

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verobatto · 4 years

Text

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. XLI

It was a love story from the very beginning.

I Want You Here

(9x02/9x03 2nd part/9x04/9x05)

Hello my friends! This is the second Destiel meta from season 9.

We are gonna talk about how Dean was worried about Castiel and he wanted him in the bunker ... Obviously we will talk about how their reunion was cocklblocked by Zeke (Gadreel).

I want to say thank you to my friend @agusvedder she made the gifs for this meta! Love ya girl!

Let's start...

Human!Cas and sex

In episode 9x03, Castiel ended at the street, frozen, under the rain and hungry.

That's when April appears, showing him kindness, she offered him a jelly and peanut butter sandwich. I know it has to be the most delicious food in the world for this hungry poor ex angel, and also the representation of human's kindness.

But Castiel was deceived by this woman/reaper.

She showed him good actions, she took are of his wounds... She even listened him...

He felt comfortable with her, because she made him believe in her. Castiel opened his heart and confessed why he had ended like this... He talked about vanity, now, after his fall, he understood a lot of things...

Sorry... I just... Was drooling a little over Misha's perfection....

I'm back now.

APRIL: Well, all patched up, but, God, your delts are in knots. You got to relax.

Yeah, bitch, any excuse is a good excuse to touch our beautiful angel, right? 😒

CASTIEL: Ah, it's all new to me. Hunger. Cold. This feeling, being all alone.

APRIL: You're not alone tonight.

Aaaand you know what happens next.

But let's just stop in Castiel's words... He was feeling alone, a very cold sensation he wasn't use to. He was always that self secure angel, not needing anyone to do anything. And now, feeling the most sad side of humanity, our miseries, he feels a lot of things... But one of them was LONELINESS. (I just can't forget season 14 when he recalls this and said to Jack HE WASN'T ALONE, HE HAD SAM, DEAN AND HIMSELF, I just love his improvement.)

He had sex with April, when she lied to him. And not just that, but she began to torture him and she even killed him. It was a horrendous violent act and Castiel was exposed to that.

Next scene was Dean and Sam arriving... But it was too late...

The despair in Dean's face is eloquent. He is desperate, his voice cracked, and he's touching Castiel's shoulder and face. His Express changes when he realizes Cas is dead.

But we know what happened next, Zeke/Gadreel saves Cas to win more confidence from Dean.

Now... Let's continue with the sex over here...

The burritos scene is a classic between Destiel shippers because it's sexual innuendo and Dean's blatant facial expressions. And we had jealous!Dean too.

This had been analyzed by a lot of meta writers, so I won't add any new, because it was obvious that when Castiel came out from the shower ...

A very horny Dean imagining his hot "buddy" enjoying the water falling over his well formed naked body, and there you have that face there. Just for our inquisitive and attentive eyes... Why the camera would focus Dean and not Sam after the shower line? Because Dean is affected by that... And that's why we got that quote from the hunter, suggestively bitting the burrito (may a say a dick mirror? 🤣🤣) "It ain't all just burritos and burritos, my friend," like... There's dicks too, may I show you?

Dean feels more free to make this kind of approaches to Castiel, because he knows the boundary that was there separating them for being more, is gone now. Cas wasn't an angel anymore. And maybe Dean could teach him some about sex life.

Then, the scene switched to jealous!Dean when Castiel mentioned April.

Look at this, a very classic, we love this, that's why I will talk about it, even if you readed a lot of references... We are Destiel trash and we love it...

Watch... Cas says he had sex, Sam and Dean are surprised, but both of them reacts differently. Sam grimaced an UH! And immediately drifts his eyes to his brother, why? Because he wants to caught his brother's reaction, why?, Because he suspects his brother feels something more than just friendship for Castiel.

And Dean chocking with that burrito, hilarious, his serious and jealous face is fantastic, like if he was scolding Castiel for that, he even points at him "You had sex with April?" Is like YOU CHEATED ON ME?

Just for a few seconds, because, is good, is good for Castiel. He isn't a Virgen anymore... So he had tasted having sex like any human? That's a good thing!

Dean is proud and happy to have Cas there. Happy because maybe he will have an opportunity with Human!Cas who already had had sex with another human. Like... Possibilities are huge!

Obviously we had Zeke/Gadreel cockblocking the possibilities.

Not comfortable with the L word and ...

Let's jump a little to episode 9x02, at the beginning, Dean and Sam were talking about Cas, they were waiting still for him to arrive, Dean tried to show himself cool, saying Cas was a big guy.

But when the episode keeps going, we ha d a very important encounter between Dean and Abaddon. The dialogue was a foreshadow of Demon!Dean plot.

Abaddon wanted Dean's body to use it like meat suit.

She even asked...

ABADDON: It can get worse. Trust me. 'Cause once I'm on top, I'll make you watch. And I'll use your body. Have you ever felt an infant's blood drip down your chin? Or listened to a girl scream as you rip her guts out? Because you will. It's you and me, lover. We'll have a grand old time.

The infant blood just recalled to when Dean, with Cain's mark, killed the boy from the Steins family in the bunker.

But after this, we had Zeke/Gadreel saving the day, and this dialogue between them...

Dean is uncomfortable with the use of LOVE word. Maybe bc he isn't used to talk about it, or feel it. Or because his toxic masculinity, doesn't leave him to talk about it. So is a uncomfortable word, and it shows in his face.

In 9x04, after Dean kicked out Cas from the bunker, I will talk about this later (no, I didn't forget 🤣), Sam was confused about that fact, and the brother had a tiny conversation over it... And Dean said this important lines...

HE WANTS CASTIEL IN THE BUNKER WITH HIM, MORE THAN ANYONE, MORE THAN SAM OBVIOUSLY, BECAUSE SAM AND CAS ARE JUST FRIENDS, BUT FOR DEAN, CASTIEL IS MORE THAN FAMILY, HE IS IN LOVE WITH CAS AND HE IS DISAPPOINTED AND SAS BECAUSE HE CAN'T HAVE HIM THERE, WITH HIM. And because he had wished to be more than friends, maybe physically, now than they didn't have any attachments or restrictions to do that.

Later, on the same episode, we will see Charlie and Dean in his room, and Charlie noticing this...

Okay, this is very exppsitional for Bi!Dean over here... Because Charlie (as always) is pointing that he has that collection of boobs but... He... Like... This isn't the real you.

And Dean says... Don't judge me.

Perfect my friends... I loved it.

And because Dean is still in the closet, as we saw with Charlie and the whole toxic masculinity, in 9x05 Dog Dean Afternoon, we had this piece of dialogue from the one talking dog, the Yorkie.

YORKIE: Ohh, a – a cowboy hat, leather pants. The dude's a total closet case.

Okay this reference is applicable to Dean too! Even in that freaking episode... We had a couple of things...

The Sad Destiel Scene

Okay, before ending this meta, I want to talk briefly about Dean kicking out Castiel from the bunker, because to me, it was a manipulation from Zeke, but it was a tool to keep Cas and Dean separated and create a little fight an resentment between them... Because the drama and everything... 😒

But we'll the scene is very sad, because CAS even made it word saying this...

My sweet little ex-angel there... He even pull back a chair for Dean... He likes to talk with Dean... He's such a cute and sweet and educated little ... Awwwww but he didn't know his heart was about to be ripped apart.

Look at his face!!!!!!!!!! Was Dean breaking his heart or what? Damn...

Okay... Circular narrative in which in season 8 Dean was in one sided love and Cas broke his heart, now in season 9 is in reverse. Castiel aknowledged by now his feelings, so I suspect he recognized his attraction to Dean was love. But... Now... Dean is kicking him off from the bunker... Without a good reason... Lying to him.

Can I die here... I won't bother you...

More Demon!Dean foreshadow (Miscellaneous)

I just wanted to out here two things I noticed...

In episode 9x04 we had a two man of letters from the past. They were partners and they were Sam and Dean mirror. One of them under the witch's powerful spell, tried to kill to Sam's mirror, and this was a foreshadow for Demon!Dean plot again, that time when he was trying to kill Sam in the bunker too.

Another little detail was what the monster said in episode 9x05 when he was fighting with Dean.

CHEF LEO: Well, I didn't mean to kill anyone – at first. But if people got in my way, they became collateral damage. Guess you eat enough predators, you start to become one. You are what you eat, right? [laughs]

This is a reference to Dean future transformation into a monster (with Cain's mark on him) and later into a Demon. The hunter that becomes what he hunts.

To Conclude:

Castiel's innocence and despair leads him to April, the reaper that deceives him by taking advantage of his human situation.

Dean wanted Cas to be with him in the bunker because he knew Human Cas and him could have maybe an opportunity to develop something more than just friendship.

Toxic Masculinity in Dean is manifested through a lot of piece of dialogues, showing us how hard will be for him to defeat that... Persisting till now... I hope not for too long. I guess episode 15x07 was very important to show us that toxicity is ending, and the whole Healing!Dean plot in season 14.

There were too some foreshadows for Demon!Dean and Cain's mark.

I hope you enjoy this one, see you in the next Chronicles!

Tagging @metafest @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weirddorkylittlediana @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @trickster-archangel @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @mishka-the-angel-of-saturday @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @foxyroxe-art @authorsararayne @anonymoustitans @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @wildligia @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-is--endgame @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @tenshilover20 @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica

If you want to be tagged, just let me know

If you want to read the previous volume from season 9, here is the link.

Buenos Aires December 11st 2019 4:59 PM

#destiel #destiel chronicles #destiel meta #supernatural meta #season 9 meta #vol. XLI

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nothingbutfangirlsmut · 4 years

Text

The Girl Out of Time

Pairing: Bucky X Reader and Sam X Reader

Background: Willow Roffe was born and raised in Brooklyn. She lived her life as happily as she could with her two childhood best friends Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers. When they both left her to join the military she tried to continue with life but that didn't get to happen for her for the simple fact that she meant something to James Buchanan Barnes.

Rating: Story will be overall MATURE but not every chapter. There will be strong language, talk of both mental and physical abuse, some good ole angst, and smut. There will be a warning at the beginning of the chapter when it includes smut.

Chapter 16

It felt like I'd been laying there for hours watching the huge helicarriers fall from the sky in slow motion. It wasn't until I saw a dark shape that resembled a human body falling from the only helicarrier still in the sky. I shot up to my feet as another shadow looked to be diving from the helicarrier to the water. Both shadows hit the water only seconds apart.

I waited to see what was going to happen. A head popped up from under the water's surface. The first thing I noticed was the wet dark hair. Is that James? Then what happened to Steve?

James drew closer to the shore where I stood. Once his feet could touch under the water I could tell he had a hold of Steve's unconscious body. I gasped as he started to pull him up the shore. He let go of him after getting him on his back. I dropped to my knees to check his pulse. He coughed spitting up a small amount of water. He remained unconscious but his chest was rising and falling at a steady pace. I looked up to thank James only to find him walking away.

"Wait!" I shouted getting back to my feet.

James stopped immediately. I ran over to him so I could stand in front if him.

"What did you mean they used me against you?" I asked him.

He scoffed then tried to push past me.

"Look, I don't remember you but from all the evidence I've seen I know that I knew you. We were friends. I'm just trying to figure out what was taken from me." I explained quickly.

His eyes softened for only a moment then turned hard again.

"We were much more than friends baby doll." He whispered.

I blinked. What? He smirked then quickly shoved past me while I was slightly frozen from his words.

"James!" I yelled after him but he had already disappeared.

The next day after everything was said and done we all made it out alive. Natasha was currently on Capital Hill doing what she does best. Fury was off some where pretending to be dead. Hill had decided to go after a job at Stark Industries. Steve was lying unconscious in a hospital bed while Sam and I sat on either side of him.

"When do you think he'll wake up?" I asked Sam quietly as I stared at my badly wounded best friend.

"I honestly don't know." Sam shook his head.

Sam returned his attention downward as he attempted to sleep in that awkward position. I kept my eyes on Steve's face hoping to see his blue eyes again.

As if he heard my inner plead his eyes blinked open. He looked around slowly taking in the room, me, then Sam.

"On your left" Steve whispered.

Sam smiled then slowly lifted his head to see Steve awake.

"What happened?" Sam asked.

"Got my butt kicked." Steve groaned as he sat up straight.

"But he isn't gone completely. I think I got threw to him." Steve added quickly.

"Steve, he remembers me." I said quickly grabbing Steve's hand.

I immediately had Steve's full attention.

"How do you know?" Steve asked.

"He told me" I shrugged.

"So you two just had a casual conversation?" Sam asked a bit harshly.

"I wanted information and he wasn't going to fight me anyway. He made that very clear. He said that they made him remember me because I was their weapon against him." I explained.

Sam scoffed then crossed his arms over his chest. Steve looked in thought for a moment.

"Of course, how else to punish a man like Bucky? Erase everything except the girl he's in love with and his feelings for her. Take that exact girl and remove every single memory she's ever had with him. Completely erasing him from existence in her mind. That would have been torture for him. I'm sure there was more to it than that. Why make you a super soldier?" Steve spoke like he was thinking aloud.

"I don't understand everything yet but we will. I know we'll figure it out." I reassured myself and Steve.

Later that night I met Sam in the hall outside Steve's room. He had been unusually quiet.

"Is everything alright?" I asked him quietly.

"It's a little hard dealing with the woman I like having this weird intense history with a man whose done nothing but try to kill us." He grumbled.

"He didn't try to kill me. Plus he ended up saving Steve in the end." I corrected him.

This didn't seem to help him so instead I stepped forward forcing his arms to uncross so I could lean against his chest.

"I don't understand it Sam but I know he is a part of my past. I need him in order to figure out what happened to me. He might be apart of my history but it's just that, history." I whispered.

I reached up on my tip toes to press a soft kiss to his lips. His arms instantly wrapped around my back holding me against him.

"What if that changes if or when you remember him?" Sam asked.

I sighed. I didn't have an answer for that.

"Can we just focus on the present for now? Please?" I asked as I fisted his tshirt.

He smiled at me then kissed my forehead.

"Of course" he said softly.

The day Steve was released we made a trip to the graveyard where Nick Fury was supposedly buried. The three of us stood in the grass staring down at the head stone for a man we all knew to be alive.

"So, you've experienced this sort of thing before?" Fury asked as he stepped up beside Sam.

I chuckled. I hadn't really thought about the fact that the people who knew me, all but Gracie, thought I was dead.

"You get use to it." Steve chuckled.

Fury stepped closer to us.

"We've been data mining Hydra's files. Looks like a lot of rats didn't go down with the ship. I'm headed to Europe tonight. Wanted to ask if you'd come." Fury asked looking between me and Steve.

"There's something I gotta do first." Steve said simply.

Fury nodded then turned to Sam.

"What about you Wilson? Could use a man with your abilities." Fury told him.

"I'm more of a soldier than a spy." Sam shrugged.

"No way I can talk you into leaving Cap's side?" Fury asked turning to me.

"Not a chance" I chuckled.

"Alright then" Fury sighed.

He took a moment to shake each of our hands.

"If anybody asks for me tell them they can find me right here." Fury said pointing to the grave then walking away.

"You should be honored. That's about as close as he gets to saying thank you." Nat said walking over to us.

"Not going with him?" I asked her.

"No" she chuckled shaking her head.

"Not staying here?" Steve asked her.

"No, I blew all my covers. I gotta go figure out a new one." She shrugged.

"Might take awhile" Steve said.

"I'm counting on it." She smiled then pulled out a folder.

"That thing you asked for. Called in a few favors. Will you do me a favor? Call that nurse." Nat said handing Steve the folder.

"She's not a nurse." Steve corrected her.

"And you're not a Sheild agent." Nat fired back.

Steve chuckled.

"What was her name again?" Steve questioned.

"Sharon. She's nice." Nat said softly then kissed Steve's cheek.

"Be careful you two. Might not want to pull on that thread." Nat added gesturing to the folder.

Steve opened it to reveal two images of James Barnes. A large one of him as he looks now behind some kind of frozen glass. The second image was a small one paper clipped to the folder. It was one of his old military photos.

"You're going after him." Sam stated once he saw the folder.

I turned to look at him. He was already watching me.

"You don't have to come with us." Steve said quietly.

Sam stared at me for a moment before replying.

"I know. When do we start?" He asked.

---

Masterlist

#nothingbutfangirlsmut #bucky x you #bucky fanfic #bucky imagine #bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #steve rogers #natasha romanoff #nick fury #fury #agent hill #natasha romanov #sam wilson fanfiction #sam x reader #sam wilson #falcon

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