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delfiore · 2 years

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don’t fear the reaper [part ii]

pairing: wanda maximoff x reader

synopsis: wanda finds a little help to figure out why she is stuck in this reality from her host.

word count: 1.0k

a/n: hey thank you for 1000+ notes on the 1st part everybody 😭 this is my first 1k post so it’s very exciting and i just wanna say themks 👉👈

MINOR SPOILERS FOR MoM??

part i, <<>> part iii, part iv

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Her sleep has become dreamless ever since she started inhabiting Elizabeth Olsen’s body.

It was nothingness, and when she woke up, you were right beside her. It was strange not being able to see Billy and Tommy anymore, but she knew she had to make peace with it, especially now that she had you with her.

She also no longer had access to her magic, because Elizabeth Olsen never had the need to unlock it. Besides, it wasn’t magic that brought her here. Wanda would know.

Camera flashes everywhere. People were calling at her, telling her to look their way. There were, what she presumed, fans dressed up as in her suit, waving at her.

She saw your lips move, but could barely make out what it was over the commotion. “Are you alright?”

It was strange. She had never had so many people cheer for her before. People have always been too afraid of her and her powers.

“Elizabeth! Elizabeth! Over here!”

“Over here, please!”

“Jamie! Give her a kiss!”

At this, you chuckled, and leaned in for a chaste kiss on her cheek. At your slight smirk, heat crawled up her neck.

You went by a different name in this reality. Jamie Vossman. She didn’t mind the change, because it was still you; your mannerisms, your sense of humor, the way she felt most secure when she was with you. She could be flung across the multiverse, but she’d still recognize you, her love, even without magic.

You were sitting by the island in the kitchen, eyes glued to your phone.

When looked up at her with raised eyebrows, it was as if Wanda forgot how to breathe. Smiling warmly, you extended your arms, beckoning her to come closer. Once she did, you pressed her to you, and nuzzled your head into her neck.

“People are going crazy about the movie. I know you don’t like seeing people’s reactions on social media, but they’re loving Wanda.” You mumbled quietly, and pressed short kisses onto her collar bone.

She was in the movie theater watching it with you. She feared people’s reaction to her, but surprisingly, a lot of them was whistling and cheering when she appeared on-screen.

There was a part of her that was relieved that some people could see where she was coming from. After all, she was just a mother desperate to see her children again.

“Can I,” she said, “can I see the things that people are saying?”

You nodded, and handed her your phone. There were many positive comments of people understanding why she did what she did, how she fell under the Darkhold’s influence, how loss has pushed her down this path.

Those were easy to read, but the ones she remembered more were the ones criticizing her.

“She’s a murderer. She killed all those people!”

“I really don’t care that she died. Like, goodbye.”

“She was ready to kill a child just to get what she wants. I’m sorry, but there’s no way I can sympathize with her after that.”

She put your phone back down on the counter. She knew she deserved that.

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

You stirred beside her, and stretched with a cute whine. “Morning.”

“Good morning, darling.” She smiled and pushed some hair out of your face.

You leaned over to kiss her. “Breakfast?”

She nodded and watched with a giggle as you begrudgingly left the comfort of your shared bed.

But it wasn’t as if she didn’t try. The effort she usually put in to produce the tiny spark of magic in her hand now had to be tripled, quadrupled at times.

She could feel Elizabeth fighting relentlessly in her mind, her yells and screams clouding her head.

She didn’t even know there was a universe in which she was an actor playing a role of herself. Why was she here? Is this some kind of trick? A prison reality made just to trap her in?

Wanda needed answers. She closed her eyes, and conjured up the most magic she could to infiltrate her own mind, searching through the storms of her own memories and consciousness, to find Elizabeth.

The actress was behind a yellow door, and when Wanda opened it, was looking just as surprised to see her.

“You’re Wanda, aren’t you?” She asked, her American accent foreign on her own tongue.

“Yes.” She answered.

“Look, I don’t know what you want in this . . . reality, but there’s nothing here. I need my body back. Please give me back to Jamie.”

“I’m sorry.” Wanda shook her head. “I don’t know how I got here either. I-I’m trying to figure it out, but I just don’t know where to start.”

I was hoping you could help me.

Elizabeth was pensive for a moment. “What if . . .”

She hesitated, as if what she was thinking of sounded absurd. “What if you could revisit your history?”

Wanda tilted her head, perplexed.

“What if there was a way for you to look back on what happened?”

“Are you talking about time travel?” Wanda gulped, remembering what happened with Agatha forced her through her memories.

“No.” Elizabeth shook her head. “I’m talking about rewatching yourself, o-or myself, on film. I’m not saying to watch the entire MCU, just maybe the parts in which you appear.”

Wanda blinked. This world contained an entire cinematic franchise of lore that resembled her own reality, that the people watched for entertainment. She appeared in the newest installment . . . How crazy could this be?

“Do you really think this will work? That I’ll find my answers in some movies?”

“It can’t hurt to try.” Elizabeth shrugged.

Wanda nodded distantly. She turned to leave, but hesitated. Elizabeth was looking back at her expectantly.

“Thank you, Elizabeth.” Wanda said, flashing her variant a tight smile. “And I’m sorry for all of this.”

“If your reality is anything like what was written in the script for those movies,” she shook her head, “you mustn’t have had it easy. And please, call me Lizzie.”

When Wanda opened her eyes again, she was back in the bedroom. Lizzie’s words echoed in her mind.

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

part i, <<>> part iii

TAGLIST:

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#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda maximoff imagines #wanda maximoff x you #elizabeth olsen x reader

839 notes · View notes

lesuccube · 6 months

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➚ 𝐅𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐄𝐑 : ᴊᴀᴋᴇ ʟᴏᴄᴋʟᴇʏ — ꜱᴀɴᴄᴛᴜᴀʀʏ

𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒 — three shots fired : two to the body , one through the heart .

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 — angst bug , mild dark trojan [ read at your own risk ! ]

𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓 — not beta'd , constructive criticism is welcomed . reblogs and comments are appreciated .

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓 — 4.1k

my demons are begging me to open up my mouth

i need them, mechanically make the words come out

they fight me, vigorous and angry, watch them pounce

ignite me, licking up the flames they bring about

jake lockley was a simple man. or at least that's what he likes to think. he was created by marc's subconscious to protect him from distress and physical harm. that was his reason for existence. nothing more, nothing less.

but the reality was that he was a broken man, much like his alters steven and marc. he was born from abuse, like steven, and his sole purpose was to shield that little boy from the horrors of his mother's pain. he shares a body with two others, needing to hide in the shadows because they absolutely cannot know about his existence nor the blood in his hands when marc's have been stained red enough that his conscience can't wash it all away.

he did not need to place the burdens he carries to his brothers, he was their protector and if staying in the dark and letting them be oblivious to his presence was the only way to protect them, then so be it.

jake was the one who took the hits for them, used his fist on those that dared try and harm the body, pounding the offender's face over and over until their face was black and blue and unrecognizable. even if it meant the boys would wake up to split skin on his knuckles. jake lockley is the system's protector, nothing is going to change that.

i sold my soul to a three-piece

and he told me i was holy

he's got me down on both knees

but it's the devil that's tryna

when marc became moon knight, jake briefly took over the body and had confronted the 7 foot tall skeletal bird known as khonshu, the egyptian god of the moon and the night sky. he sees all and knows all despite being unknown by the other two.

at first he demands khonshu to release marc from their agreement knowing it will lead to more danger and marc, the original, cannot be harmed. he tried hard to fight for marc's freedom much to the god's entertainment before striking another deal with jake.

on the day marc gains his freedom from being khonshu's avatar, he shall take his place instead. why look for another avatar when there's a completely different person residing in marc's body that marc (and steven) is unaware of?

but jake? jake had other plans. he told khonshu he'll be his avatar then and there, to let him take on the bloodier and brutal missions to spare marc any more bodies in his hands. he'll take them for him instead. this, of course, amuses khonshu who promptly agreed. their body was never going to be free from his clutches and the egyptian deity was going to take full advantage of the man's brokenness to do his bidding.

hold me down, hold me down

sneaking out the back door, make no sound

knock me out, knock me out

saying that i want more, this is what i live for

the job was easy for jake. he's used to a life of violence, letting his fists do the talking to get the answers he needed. he fought until his body held a constellation of bruises that don't easily fade away because he doesn't want to wear the ceremonial suit like marc.

instead he prefers his usual clothes consisting of his signature flat cap, a jacket, a white dress shirt underneath with a black tie done neatly, pressed trousers and black belt and some nice leather shoes.

what he did accept from khonshu was a pair of leather gloves, the knuckles of them designed with a faded crescent moon, to symbolize that he was doing the egyptian god's dirty (well, dirtier) work.

jake doesn't front often, only coming out when its necessary or when his brothers are sound asleep. some days he'd wake up in steven's warm flat, other times it's in that godawful tiny storage room marc uses. either way, he'd get up in the dead of the night, taking control of the body in what little time he has before letting it rest, relinquishing control to the other two once more when the sun begins to peek over the horizon.

hold me down, hold me down

throw me in the deep end, watch me drown

knock me out, knock me out

saying that i want more, this is what i live for

most missions that jake partakes in are always the same. it's either a weasley person trying their hardest to evade getting caught by this mysterious person that's dwindling the numbers of their group or a particularly difficult man to put down. on cases like the latter, jake would use a gun or dagger. if his fists can't take them down, these things surely will.

it's gruesome to say the least, the way he can only come out when he's required to by his duty as khonshu's avatar or when marc faces imminent danger. he never needed to take control over steven because the brit wasn't in any danger working at the museum.

the only time he took over steven was to ask that one coworker of his out for steak. shame she thought it was steven, but he can't exactly give himself away in steven's workplace. poor man didn't need any more confusion and mess when he's already on his boss' bad side. steven didn't need jake to add another reason to her ever growing list to hate him.

selfish, taking what I want and call it mine

i'm helpless, clinging to a little bit of spine

they rush me, telling me I'm running out of time

they shush me (sssh), walking me across a fragile line

the only time jake gets to front for a long time, say two days, is when the system is exhausted. if marc pushed himself too hard or steven tried staying up all night again, jake gets absolute freedom for a few days.

he works as a cabbie, it's a method he uses to lure the poor victims on khonshu's hit list. one day, the door to his cab opens, to lo and behold, beautiful, innocent you.

jake never believed in love at first sight, he thinks it's cringe and stupid but you, oh you just proved him wrong.

dressed in a simple yellow sundress and white cardigan to maintain decency, you were a pop of color amongst london's gray streets and brick walls. you looked like sunshine after the rain personified.

you greeted him with a smile, telling him where you were headed, a psychiatric hospital near the general hospital. he was never one to make small talk with his innocent customers, until you. you who made jake break nearly every rule he's told himself since he cannot front for long periods of time. but you? oh he had quite the fun talking to you.

on the short trip it took to take you there, he had managed to learn that you work there as a permanent staff. he also learned of your name, testing the way it rolls off his tongue and ended up sounding like music to his ears. you gladly indulged his questions, a naturally friendly person, he notes to himself as he listens to you talk in his backseat, occasionally watching you through his rearview mirror.

it's another thing he finds out he likes about you but he can't help but worry if people would dare try and take advantage of you with your sweet smiles and lovely personality. jake shouldn't really bother himself with such thoughts but he found it hard to resist, not when it comes to you he realizes.

i sold my soul to a three-piece

and he told me i was holy

he's got me down on both knees

but it's the devil that's tryna

khonshu knows about jake's new fascination with you. he'd often remind the man to forget about you, that you'd be nothing but a mere distraction to the higher purpose he's taken jake in.

on the rare times jake fronts in broad daylight, he would wait for your morning shift to end, parked outside the psychiatric hospital's door, leaning against his car with a cigarette lit and between his lips, the nicotine burning warmth into his lungs as he puffs out the smoke to london's every chilly air.

you'd come out of the doors mere minutes later in your casual clothes, the colors making your eyes stand out more as you smile and wave at him, bounding towards him with a giggle. he'd put out his cigarette, stomp it with the sole of his shoe before opening his arms to a welcoming embrace.

more often than not he'd lead you to his car with an arm slung over your shoulders, getting as close as he can amd enveloping himself in your floral and nectarine scent. he likes how your perfume lingers on the fabric of his jacket sometimes, it makes him feel like you're still with him even if he dropped you home hours ago.

jake began to pick you up more often on the two months marc and steven's worlds began to collide. he took advantage of marc's grief of the loss of his mother and steven's apparent confusion of missing days in his work.

he used those two months to build the relationship he has with you now, still platonic but there was definitely something more. if your lingering touches and flirty quips were anything to prove.

so he waits for you in the cold london air during the end of your shifts, sometimes even takes you to work when your night shift starts if he has the chance, and you'd always greet him with a smile and wave.

one time though, khonshu decided he's had enough of jake's silly little crush on you. it's past 7 in the morning, jake's driving you home and you were sat in the back and talking his ear off about the things that happened during your shift. he'd laugh and make a comment or two but he's more focused on driving, choosing to enjoy the sound of your voice as he does so. but the god has other plans.

he materializes himself, seated next to your oblivious self, just within jake's peripheral in the rearview mirror. the sight of the skeletal bird next to you has him tightening his hold on the steering wheel so hard his knuckles were definitely white under the leather gloves he wore.

he hates seeing the god next to you, his tall and boney form too undeserving of your sunshine and warmth, not that khonshu wanted either of those.

"i told you to stop meeting this woman jake." khonshu reminds him, to which he only responds with a clench of his jaw, "¡no te atrevas a tocarla!" he grumbles under his breath. "what was that jake?" you ask, curious and innocent to the 7 foot tall god next to you threatening him about you.

"do you really think she'll still love you, no— like you once she finds out who you really are?" the egyptian deity goads, thumping his staff on his car's floor.

"¡cállate, maldito pájaro!" he cusses out, a little harsher, a little louder this time. it makes your brows furrow, moving to the edge of your seat as you place a hand on the back of his seat on the driver's side.

"no, really jake... are you okay?" you were concerned for him, which warms his heart but does not ease the foreboding feeling of fear that he was about to lose you. he fights himself not to think about it right now, not while you are still around.

"estoy bien, neña. no te preocupes." you were glad to have taken your spanish classes in highschool seriously, often mingling with patients in the hospital who also spoke the language. "if you say so. but! if you need a friend to talk to, i'm always here for you."

of course, that's the type of person you were. kind, caring, to jake you were the most precious person there is in his otherwise bleak life. like a soft patch of grass and wildflowers in the otherwise dry land he calls life.

"por supuesto, cariño. ahora siéntate bien, no puedes lastimarte de alguna manera." he smiles, not wanting to worry you any further.

khonshu slams his scepter down once more, the echo loud in jake's ears as the threat of the god's words loom over him like his skeletal shadow before fading out of sight.

"stop this jake, while i am letting you or else i will do it for you."

hold me down, hold me down

sneaking out the back door, make no sound

knock me out, knock me out

saying that i want more, this is what i live for

he would never allow khonshu to get his hands on you. he may be the god he serves but he wasn't going to let him dictate his life. though deep down jake knew better than to go against him because he would never want you to get hurt. especially because of him. and if disappearing quietly from your life is what keeps you out of harm's way, then so be it.

it's been two weeks since jake last picked you up. he's avoided fronting as much as he could, only coming out whenever he's called in the middle of the night.

you thought he was just busy. he was a cabbie after all, he had other people to pick up and bring to their destinations. he won't always be available to take you home. doesn't mean you didn't miss him though. jake has made a small home in your heart, driving his way into your life and permanently parking himself there, a spot dedicated to jake and only jake.

he was the highlight of your day whenever he would come around the psych hospital, all the fatigue and weariness easing off your bones once he'd sling his arm around you.

so these past two weeks, your heart quietly sinks when you don't see his cab parked just outside the doors of the hospital, a cold puff of air greeting you instead of jake's warm embrace as he meets you, smelling of cigarette and leather and musk. you'd end your shift a little disheartened as you hail a cab to bring you home, always secretly hoping it was jake who would stop and take you in.

hold me down, hold me down

throw me in the deep end, watch me drown

knock me out, knock me out

saying that i want more, this is what i live for

jake missed you as well in those two weeks, terribly so. it felt like hell being in the dark corner's of steven and marc's consciousness where he'd wonder how you were doing, if you were okay. if you missed him like he missed you. you did, but he didn't know. couldn't know because of the risk he knows he'll put you under if he fronts to meet you.

it's half past two in the morning when he's able to grab hold of the body, his movements sluggish because none of them were getting enough rest with marc drinking his memories away when khonshu wasn't sending him off to places, steven would stay up late just to catch himself and keep himself from doing god knows what in his sleep and jake, who'd take control of their shared body at the wee hours of the night, barely an hour of sleep in their system but does he care right now? no. why? because two weeks of being away from you was hell and he won't stand another second of not being in your presence.

so he throws the sheets off their body, puts on more presentable clothes from steven's wardrobe since he was the one fronting during the day these past weeks. he found a simple gray sweatshirt and hoodie, exchanged his pajama pants for a pair of jeans and protected his feet with a pair of old sneakers the brit rarely wears.

after that he takes his time to walk to you, not caring if it would take him a while. he'd use this time to think carefully about what to say to you if he manages to even catch your attention while you work. or maybe you'd be on a quick break? he hopes so.

hold me down now

hold me down

jake was so absorbed in his thoughts he didn't realize he was already at the hospital had it not been for your hands holding his shoulders. "jake?" came your voice, soft culverts coming out in a whisper that rings so loudly and lovely in his ears in the silence of london's empty streets. he snaps out of his trance upon hearing your voice, so sweet and kind.

wordlessly, he pulls you in an embrace, not caring at the moment if khonshu was watching his every movement, he just wanted to be as close to you as possible. at first you were surprised, unsure on whether or not to reciprocate but in the end you do.

how could you not when your heart misses him so? even if he smelled different, like old books and clean linens, there was a scent you'd recognize anywhere that belongs solely to jake.

with your arms wrapped around his form, holding his body against yours as you breathe him in. he was real and he was holding you. it soothes the yearning that settled in your body in an instant. he was real and he felt like a safety net, anchoring you back to shore, rescuing you just in time to pull you back above waters before you sink into a sea of emotional turmoil.

that night in each other's embrace, you both felt like you'd come home after a long and exhausting day of being so far apart from each other. in that silence, you had both found solace and understanding where you stood in each other's lives. he was special to you as you were to him. jake had put up a delicate white fence over the luscious green grass and blooming flowers you had planted in his heart, his own garden in his desert he calls life. you were his oasis.

i sold my soul to a three-piece

and he told me I was holy

he's got me down on both knees

but it's the devil that's tryna

after that visit, jake slips away from your grasp again. steven and marc had found themselves in cairo, quietly lending them a hand when it mattered, saving them when their life began teetering close to the edge and quietly returning to his corner. they didn't need to know about him. not yet, not while his hands remain bloody and his ledger dripping red like waterfalls.

he helped marc amd steven out of sticky situations, even saving layla a few times as well. he thinks it's nice that marc had found a safe haven of his own with the woman but jake can't help but feel a little angry and jealous because he can't have you that way. not when they share the same body and face. so he took that bubbling anger out on the poor soul that had tried to hurt him, knuckles bloody and raw from punching so their face it's almost unrecognizable with all the blood pouring from their head to their mouth.

even though he was helping the two out in stopping an ancient god from killing off millions of people, jake's selfishness can't help but think of you during your time apart. he misses you even more now, he realizes. he wonders if he'll be able to see you again after this.

hold me down, hold me down

sneaking out the back door, make no sound

knock me out, knock me out

saying that i want more, this is what i live for

jake was proud of marc from his hidden corner of their consciousness when he refused to kill harrow, against khonshu's orders. he felt happy that his brother no longer had to stain his hands any redder than they should. but deep down jake knew he would be the one to end it all. after all, he is their protector (and with his affections for you, that extended to you as well).

he knew that khonshu would call for him one day soon to finish what marc cannot, for he is, after all, the one that carries the burden of dirtying his hands for them.

that was the deal he had bargained for his brother/s after all.

hold me down, hold me down

throw me in the deep end, watch me drown

knock me out, knock me out

saying that i want more, this is what i live for

jake finds himself in front of your hospital one afternoon when they returned from their duty in egypt. harrow was sent here, an idea he had left in marc's subconscious. in reality, it was just so he'd be able to see a glimpse of you.

selfish as it was, he thinks it's the only way he can see you again. he takes hold of harrow's wheelchair from a nurse, telling her in spanish that he was there for him. she had seemed to understand and let him be, moving on to a different patient to care for.

jake walks down the halls of the hospital, hoping to see even the faintest glimpse of your bright smile but to no avail. what he doesn't know though, was that you had seen him first, unsure in the beginning but you saw his signature cap and gloves and you knew for sure your eyes weren't playing tricks on you.

he was back and he was taking one of the patients admitted at the ward? throughout the time he's picked you up and took you home, he's never said anything about knowing someone in here. you followed him silently, asking one of your co-workers to cover for you a bit.

you see him take arthur harrow inside a limo you didn't know he drove, kicking the wheelchair with such anger it makes you pause in your steps just a little ways from the exit. you see him enter the driver's side, windows rolled up and slams the door shut, you took that as cue to make your way out. you approach the limo with hesitant steps, about to knock on the tinted windows when you see two flashes of light from inside the car, the muffled sound of a gun ringing so loud it has you gasping, snatching your hand back before it lands on the glass.

jake did what he had to, he sought justice to the death their body suffered from when harrow shot them within the dig site where steven discovered ammit's ushabti. it was time to repay the favor, he had shot them twice so he thought it was only fair to do the same. though this time, arthur harrow won't have the same chance to return to the land of the living the way marc and steven did. he had to atone for his sins, there was no redemption for arthur harrow.

but he hears something outside his limo, makes him roll his windows down just a tiny bit only to see your shaken form right outside, fear and shock evident in your features; from the way you held your hands, holding yourself as you took some steps back and away from the white vehicle. jake knew right there and then that he had scared you away, that he might have just lost you. the god in his backseat remained quiet, his presence like a foreboding shadow.

"i told you to stop seeing her didn't i jake lockley? did you really think she'll accept the life you live, the blood staining your hands?"

a part of jake knew that the tall bird was correct but he didn't want to accept it, he couldn't— wouldn't believe it. he loves you and he knows you do too, if that one late night visit says anything about how you two felt about each other. but the longer he stared at your scared form, the tears that threatened to spill from your eyes, the more jake began to realize he had to get away.

yes marc didn't deserve to know about the red on his hands...

translations:

¡no te atrevas a tocarla! — don't you fucking dare touch her

estoy bien, nena. no te preocupes. — i'm fine baby. don't worry.

por supuesto, cariño. ahora siéntate bien, no puedes lastimarte de alguna manera. — of course sweetheart. now sit properly, can't have you injuring yourself somehow.

#👤 — user : kira #📂 — file : jake lockley #moon knight #moon knight x reader #moon knight fanfiction #moon knight imagine #moon knight angst #jake lockley #jake lockley x reader #jake lockley fanfiction #jake lockley imagine #jake lockley angst #Spotify

37 notes · View notes

doberbutts · 5 months

Note

Hi - asking in good faith here, but I am also relatively new to active anti-racism (im white, grew up in all white areas, and didn't encounter anti racist perspectives until college). In the last few years I've done a LOT of reading about anti-black racism, black feminist theory, womanism, etc, and I'm beginning to understand why the bastardization and appropriation of aave is so harmful. I don't want to put my friends of color on the spot about this or make them feel pressured to answer a certain way, though, and I DO want an answer that's grounded in theory and thoughtfulness about these things (two traits my circle of 18-20 year olds sometimes lacks, understandably). I know that that might put a lot of pressure on you as well but please know that while I do respect your opinion, I know you're just one Black person with one opinion - and of course if an irl Black friend ever came to me and told me to stop I would.

My question is, if I am making sure to attribute it correctly as AAVE, being careful to make sure I'm using it appropriately, and of course listening in case I hear I've misused it - is it still harmful for me as a white person to use aave? Is it possible to use aave non-harmfully as a white person, among Black friends? Or would it be better for me to do my best to remove those words and phrases and grammatical structures from the way I speak entirely?

A lot of these things, I pick up FROM my friends, and they haven't, idk, made faces or suggested I should stop or anything like that. But of course it's hard to sort out what I pick up from my friends, what I pick up from Black literature (im a terrible parrot from my books unfortunately 😬), and what comes from the intern*t lol. So there's obviously the potential to misuse or disrespect aave, especially if I ever stop being thoughtful about what I say and where I first hear it. And while I have tried to read up on the appropriation of AAVE and develop my own opinion, this really does seem like one of those things where as a white person my opinion is always going to be a little out of touch - and I REALLY don't want to hurt and alienate my friends and accidentally advance racism in my community because I felt qualified to comment on this.

I don't know. I grew up in a very white enclave in a very white area of a very white state, and I AM trying to catch up and think critically about what I do say and think, but honestly, I am very new to these things. So if this is a dumb question or I am inadvertently ignorant/inappropriate, I'm really sorry about that and please know that I AM trying to do better. (And I will never say no to specific resource recommendations. I've read everything you usually read in an intro to Africana studies course lol but there is so much out there!!)

Thanks, either way. I appreciate you taking the time to read this extremely long winded ask lol. And I appreciate the way you blog about these things and how you make it clear where and from what you develop your opinions - that's super helpful!!!

-bee

Well as you said I am one person and I do not know you or talk to you really so I can't really say yes or no on your specific case. But also I would challenge you to ask yourself why you felt you needed the permission of a black stranger rather than actually sit down and talk to your friends about it.

I have said in other posts that it is less about needing to be black to speak AAVE and more about respect. I am all for cultural sharing and appreciation and I do not think that culture requires specifically only blood ties. I'm a mixed race person, after all, and one who has a quite large mixed race extended and found family. I think that blood is not the only thing that defines us.

But I also think that one must go into these sorts of conversations with respect. My white (passing) mother can understand my black family speaking AAVE, despite the fact that there was a single black kid in her neighborhood and school system when she grew up. This is because she treated my dad and his family with respect, and so they are comfortable speaking this way in front of her, and she is comfortable asking for clarification if she needs it, which is quite rare nowadays considering she's been married to my dad for 35 years and in a relationship with him for 42 and has thus had a lot of practice.

But she also doesn't use AAVE herself. To her, it would be disrespectful. She did not grow up in it. It is not her culture. It is shared with her due to proximity to said culture with her husband and father of her children. But for her, she chooses to continue to use the Pennsylvania Dutch-influenced dialect she grew up in, which is a very white Appalachian specific-to-Pennsylvania dialect and culture. I myself switch back and forth between the two, depending on who I'm talking to. Sometimes in the same conversation, if I'm talking to my mom vs my dad in the same room.

I don't think any of my black family would be offended if she did use AAVE, though again with her personality and the way she has approached this over the last several decades I think they'd be surprised if she suddenly did it like tomorrow or something. But she herself does not think it would be respectful of the culture, the dialect, or of her husband and inlaws for it to come out of her mouth. And I am sort of inclined to agree. Outside of a few slang words that have become so distant from their roots that it is difficult to say they are *purely* AAVE anymore, similar with many historically-Yiddish slang words, I do not personally think she could hold a conversation in AAVE and do it respectfully enough to not be offensive. It's just not really hers to do that with.

On the other hand, when I worked in a mostly-black store in an area that was significantly more black-populated, where I rarely had to code switch and mostly used AAVE all the timewith clients and customers, there were nonblack people who also used and understood AAVE. I had no problem with this, even with the white people doing it, because that was just how everyone in that area spoke. And, mot for nothing, but I found those white people to be as a general rule significantly less racist in their treatment of me and of other people of color, and racial mixing was significantly more common. Again, it's about respect. Even if it's not really a concious thing.

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zoeykallus · 1 year

Text

Crosshair – My Beloved Enemy 41 - Unloved Truths

Warnings: Possible Hurt/Tension/Sassy Tech/ Angry Crosshair/Protective Hunter

____________

Author's

Finally, I took the time in between to work on one of my own projects. There are still so many waiting to be continued. Occasionally I try to publish another chapter of one of my nine long-term ff projects.

____________

There are some things people just don't want to hear. Especially when they are not good with criticism, like Crosshair.

_____________

What Happened Before:

Part 1 - Crash Landing

Part 2 - Hot And Cold

Part 3 - Hello Kitten

Part 4 - Look Who’s Back

Part 5 - Rebel Darling

Part 6 - Burning Anger

Part 7 - Love And Pain

Part 8 - A Difficult Reunion

Part 9 - The Bitter Taste Of Blood And Failure

Part 10 - Where The Dead Ships Dwell

Part 11 - A Lonely Firefly In Space

Part 12 - Broken Wings

Part 13 - A Helping Hand

Part 14 - The Justifier

Part 15 - The Bounty

Part 16 - Trapped

Part 17 - I Love You Too

Part 18 - When The Past Catches Up With Us

Part 19 - I’ve Never Been Good At Goodbyes

Part 20 - Unexpected

Part 21 - The Question

Part 22 - Sleepless Nights

Part 23 - Sleepyheads And Making Up

Part 24 - Crosshair’s Conclusion

Part 25 - Good Soldiers Follow Orders

Part 26 - I’m Sorry Kitten

Part 27 - Bracca

Part 28 -Rampart

Part 29 - It’s All Tactics

Part 30 - CT 6116

Part 31 - Of Wolves And Sheep

Part 32 - Dying Hope

Part 33 - Hero Of The Day

Part 34 - When The Wolf Eats The Sheep

Part 35 - The Shepherd

Part 36 - The Toll It Takes

Part 37 -Blowing Off Steam

Part 38 - Not Exactly Private

Part 39 - Accusations

Part 40 – Tension And Anger

Part 41 - Unloved Truths

Crosshair rushed into the cockpit as the Marauder was jolted by another hit. Hastily, the sniper held on to the pilot's seat to avoid being knocked over.

"What kind of trouble are we in now?" he asked, tense and annoyed.

Tech replied matter-of-factly, "A hyperdrive malfunction has thrown us into the flight path of a couple of T-fighter scouts."

"Any destroyers or cruisers in the vicinity?" asked Hunter.

Wolffe who was tampering with the radar replied, "No, doesn't look like it"

"Unusual," commented Echo, "T-Fighters are usually never far from a destroyer or cruiser"

Tech pushed a few buttons, and the Marauder shot back into hyperspace.

"Just a minor technical difficulty. The rest of the trip should be without incident"

He turned around in the pilot's seat to Echo and said matter-of-factly, "I couldn't agree more with your comment. T-Fighters don't usually stray far from their mother ship or station. These, however, were not ordinary T-Fighters, I believe. I've picked up rumors that prototypes are supposed to be in the works that have an improved, massively smaller hyperdrive."

Hunter grumbled, "Those could have been prototypes like that?"

Tech nodded, "I suspect so, yes"

Crosshair sighed, "Great, that's all we needed"

"We're rid of them for now anyway" Wolffe said.

Crosshair ignored him and was heading back to the main room, to you, when you were already coming towards him with Wrecker in tow. He gave Wolffe another scrutinizing look, who in turn turned to the console in front of him, suppressing a sigh.

Hunter speculated, "They probably shot at us because we spotted them, I guess those prototypes are still classified?"

Tech nodded, "Indeed, until now they were just a rumor. It's quite possible they had orders to eliminate any possible witnesses to the test flight."

"That doesn't sound good," you said nervously, "Could these prototypes even be tracking us in hyperspace?"

Tech frowned thoughtfully, then shrugged and said, "Not really. To my knowledge, there is no way to track hyperspace routes yet, unless you know the destination in advance."

Wrecker grumbled, "We should probably hope that doesn't change."

Three months later

Your new shuttle wasn't just your shuttle, Crosshair had participated in the purchase. You inhabited the shuttle together and that was hardly new, in your old Firefly you had done that as well. But this was somehow more official. But by now you were married anyway, not living together would probably have been weird.

Hunter said to you one morning, "I can't believe you guys are really married. I mean it's not official with papers and stuff, for obvious reasons, but still. Actually, we should kind of celebrate it a little bit."

You laughed softly, "I don't know if Crosshair wants anything like a celebration."

Hunter frowned.

"What do you want?"

You shrug your shoulders uncertainly.

"I don't know, a celebration in a small circle, with you guys, Omega, Rex, Gregor and Wolffe would have been fine".

Hunter said, "I think you better not invite Wolffe, unless Crosshair invites him himself."

You sighed. Since that incident with Wolffe and your T-shirt, Crosshair was not well-disposed towards the Reg, still not. You didn't think that would change too soon, either.

"Well, like I said, I don't know if he even wants to party," you said with a shrug.

"What are you talking about?" you hear Crosshair grumble, just coming out of your shuttle into the Marauder.

"About you," you say directly.

He raised his eyebrows and looked back and forth between you and Hunter.

"Not sure I like that," he grumbled.

Hunter said, "We were talking about celebrating your marriage."

The Sniper rolled his eyes.

"Don't put ideas in her head, Hunter".

You sighed softly and said to the Sergeant, "See, I told you so."

Hunter frowned reluctantly.

"It's only natural, this is a special change in your life and hers, we're all happy for you, it's something that should definitely be celebrated. We rarely have enough to celebrate anyway," he noted.

Crosshair waved it off and said, "It's personal between her and me, why make a big fuss about it?"

Sighing, you shook your head, and climbed back into your shuttle. The two men watched you go and heard you, quietly, muttering something under your breath.

"Crosshair."

The Sniper turned to Hunter and looked at him questioningly.

"What?"

"You do realize that you can't just make all the decisions in this relationship by yourself, right?"

Crosshair frowned reluctantly.

"What are you getting at?"

"To you making all the decisions. When you bought the shuttle, Y/N was actually flirting with another shuttle, but you wanted what you have now, she gave in to you even though she disagreed, and you bought it. When we were on Tatooine she found a cute little restaurant, but you wanted to go to this seedy bar, so you went to the bar where she was harassed, and you had to shoot three people. You remember when she wanted to buy a new summer dress? She had found one that when she saw it in the store her eyes lit up, but you wanted her to take another one, she bought the one you liked better. You always get your way, and she always gives in to you. This is a very one-sided relationship. I can't imagine she'll be happy with that in the long run."

Crosshair gritted his teeth.

"How do you even know her eyes light up when she's happy?"

Hunter sighed, "Because I'm an observant friend. Please don't read anything into this that isn't there. I just want to help you both, that's why I'm telling you all this."

The Sniper shrugged his shoulders.

"It's her choice if she gives in to me. If she doesn't like it, why does she do it?"

Tech, who had been sitting silently in his bunk all this time, suddenly said, "Because you're a difficult guy, and she's afraid you might be unhappy with her and drop her if you don't get your way."

Crosshair wheeled around.

"Where did you come from all of a sudden?"

"I've been sitting here all along" Tech said dryly "I thought you had particularly good observational skills"

Crosshair was annoyed beyond measure, clenching his hands into fists but trying to remain calm.

"How do you even know that's the reason?" he asked his brother, snarling.

Tech shifted his goggles and said impassively, "Because she practically told me so, almost to the letter. And Hunter's right, she loves you, but she's not entirely happy."

Crosshair's eyes widened for a moment, then narrowed again to critical slits.

"So I'm being difficult, am I?"

"Yes," Hunter said without hesitation.

Tech said to Crosshair, "The fact that you're clinging to that one statement I just told you about her shows that that very statement is true, yes. You are way too focused on yourself and what you want, not what you both would be happy with. That's partly what I meant when I said you'd make her unhappy, I knew you'd act predominantly selfish sooner or later."

"Tech," Hunter growled warningly.

Crosshair only barely restrained himself from going for Tech's throat.

"I'm right," Tech said calmly, "If Crosshair tries a little self-reflection and does some soul-searching for a while, he'll see that himself. I suggest you start right now, it might take a while"

Crosshair growled softly, "I really want to smash your skull in right now, but I'm not doing it because I know Y/N wouldn't want me to"

"Hmm, wonder of wonders, he's learning," Tech quipped.

Hunter bumped his knee against Tech's and grumbled, "Shut up now"

Crosshair muttered, "I'll talk to her now"

"Maybe you should be-"

Crosshair interrupted Hunter, "Stay out of this!" and climbed up into your shared shuttle.

Hunter turned to Tech with a sigh, who in turn looked up at the sergeant from his seated position.

Tech said unapologetically, "What? We both know I was telling the truth"

"That may be, but sometimes you have to wrap it up a little more kindly, or maybe it's better not to say it at all"

Tech stood up and faced Hunter, closer than usual and in a strangely roaring up posture. Hunter wasn't really intimidated, more astonished.

"My feelings for Y/N haven't changed and they never will. If he treats her badly I will unabashedly address that whether you like it or not," Tech said very clearly and his usual matter-of-fact tone had given way to a somber undertone.

Hunter sighed.

"I know, I understand you in a way Tech, but think of how angry you've made him now. The two of them are bound to fight."

Tech turned pale.

"Oh... maybe I should go check"

"No. He's not hurting her" Hunter said "Not physically anyway, he may get a little louder or grumble, but he would never hurt her physically. He calms down, too. Crosshair may be difficult, but he loves her"

"Not as much as I do," Tech muttered, climbing back into his bunk and stubbornly picking up his holopad, listening for what might be going on in the shuttle. He took it upon himself to intervene if he felt Crosshair wasn't in control.

Hunter crossed his arms in front of his chest and asked, "Can I get back in the cockpit? Or do I have to keep an eye on you? Can I count on you not to do anything stupid?"

Tech looked up from his holopad for a moment and said dryly, "I'm a genius, I don't do stupid things."

Hunter sighed, "Oh boy," turned and walked back into the cockpit.

Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)

@twinkofthedink

@tazmbc1

@kristinainspace

@ladykatakuri @inthemoshpitt

@whore4rex

@anndraco0523

@revan-posting

@dwarfnip

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@the-sith-in-the-sky-with-diamond

@moonstrider9904

@chxpsi

@nunanuggets

@andyoufollowyourheart

@kaliel2310

@eternalwaffle

@misogirl828

@thebahdbitch

@meshla-madalene

@ladykatakuri

@starstrucksimp

@ttzamara

@arctrooper69

@agenteliix

@puppetswithteeth

@greaser-wolf

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theunbearableweightofpedropascal · 1 year

Text

Through the Grapevine

This is my first fic so please beware of beginner mistakes. I hope someone likes it or sees it for that matter. 18+ SMUT

Word Count: 3.1K

Warnings: NSFW, age gap (legal), oral sex, self-insert with no y/n, cursing, slight praise kink if you squint, perverted actions, perverted themes

Summary: You heard about your mother's new boyfriend but you were more interested in his recently divorced son.

You loved your mom but you couldn’t say you liked her much. Honestly if she were your age, you would have beat her ass. But alas that is not the case and those passive-aggressive comments, judgemental stares, and blunt criticism were under the guise of ‘helping’ you. Cue massive eye roll.

Your parents divorce wasn’t a messy one by any means, they just grew apart as they got older. Similar to you and your mother’s relationship. Obviously you frequented your dad's place not being able to take your mothers presence when you had another non-judgemental home. Your absence didn’t change your mothers tune at all, in fact she just made sure she told you what she thought of you whenever you called since she wasn’t sure when it would happen again.

As you grew more distant she must have grown lonely even though it was a mess of her own making. She met a mechanic named Felipe, from what your grandma told you he ran a garage and was nice. He also has a son named Francisco who was an ex-military pilot that helped him run it. You truly couldn’t help yourself so you looked them up, and your results didn’t disappoint. Frankie, as you figured he preferred to be called, was a certified DILF and you figured out his basic life story after going through his page. Went to the army and came back, met a girl, knocked said girl up, married girl, and finally divorced her while sharing custody.

Usually if your mom had invited you to dinner you’d pass however she explicitly wanted you to meet your possible step-family. In spite of that, wanting to meet Frankie in the flesh had you reconsidering for dirty reasons that were all self serving.

Eventually you told her just how excited you were for her to start dating again especially since dad had begun to move on. In the coming days you packed a bag to spend the weekend at your mothers, meticulously planning each outfit on the chance of meeting your probable stepbrother. Was it wrong? Yes. Perverted? No doubt. But you weren’t really one to show restraint or shame when it came to such a good looking man. A man that was also almost twice your age.

Arriving at your mother’s was a fucking chore she already pulled out all the stops. “You look like you have gained a little weight. Are you sure you’ve been exercising?” then, “I just worry about whether you'll end up alone at the rate you’re going.” and last but not least “Are you sure about that outfit I mean it’s pretty but…”

At this point you could just tune her out however you maintained a semblance of conversation if only for your own selfishness. “Will it be just you, me, and Felipe for dinner?” you ask casually.

“Oh no his son Frankie will join us too, he has a daughter you know had a wife too but things didn’t work out. You know I’m sure he has a couple of friends for you if yo-” You cut her off before she could get the wrong idea.

“No. That’s ok I’m not really looking mom” at least not at them.

“Oh. I thought by now you grow out of that…” as she continued to rant about your disappointing track record the doorbell rang. You jumped up to answer it with an “I got it” thanking the universe for that distraction. As you neared the door you smoothed out your short but flowy sundress and checked your hair one last time. You opened the door and your eyes landed on two twins that were in different stages in life. Frankie was the spitting image of his father just younger, you immediately stuck your hand out to Felipe and introduced yourself. He shook it eagerly with his own greeting.

“It’s great to meet you, your mother has told me so much about you. I’m Felipe and this is my son Fransico.” Oh you know, you know exactly who he is and him in person is even better than on screen. He offered his hand to you next and you shook it lingering a bit.

“Hi, you can just call me Frankie.” He gives you a dazzling smile that would make any woman's panties drop on sight, especially yours. You take in his brown curls and patchy beard but you really love his nose most of all. You take note he’s not wearing that beloved standard oil hat that’s in most of his pictures. Shaken out of your haze you lead them to where you left your mother a few moments ago. She greets her boyfriend as if you aren’t present in the room and your face doesn’ hide your emotions.

Frankie sees your obvious disgust and laughs at your discomfort. You turn to look back at him and you two find that it’s a mutual feeling. You decide to start the bonding process with your stepbrother, stepping closer you stand on your toes putting your mouth near his ear whispering for him to follow you. Without checking to see his reaction you walk towards your mother’s kitchen.

By the time Frankie arrives you’ve already begun pulling out alcohol to make yourself a long island iced tea. Looking up you ask what Frankie wants, he states whatever you’re making is fine. You notice he is a bit tense. Once you finish both drinks you sit next to him but you turn your body to face him.

“So our parents have been dating for a while and this is the first time I’ve seen you in person, despite your mother talking about you constantly why?” Frankie decided to go straight for the jugular.

“Well you’ve met her, do you want to be in her presence often?” Frankie laughs in agreement and puts both hands up in defense. Wanting to catch him off guard you ask him about his divorce that you heard about “through the grapevine”. The grapevine being a full analysis of his & his ex-wife’s facebook.

“We grew apart, I mean we already were distant but the main reason we got and stayed together was for our daughter Rosie’s sake.” He looks at you after he finishes answering, maybe to gauge your reaction however you already knew most of this. You decide to see how far you can push.

“So are you seeing anybody then?” You lock eyes with him while finishing your drink. He bites his lip as he takes a moment to drink you in.

“No but there is an age requirement and I don’t think you meet it” You can’t help but throw your head back and laugh.

“And how old is that exactly?”

“35. I’d rather not have people think I’m going through a midlife crisis with the cliche 20 something girlfriend after my divorce.” He looks at you pointedly after he says that.

You think for a moment before leaning in and placing a hand on his chest to whisper in his ear “Who said I needed to be your girlfriend? Maybe I could just help release some of that obvious tension you have” you pull back and slightly rub his broad shoulders, looking at him with a sweet smile and doe eyes.

Frankie looks like he just might break but you hear your mom’s footsteps approaching. As always she has the best timing, you back away from him reluctantly. She arrives in the kitchen with Felipe in tow along with mexican takeout, gesturing for you all to move outside. Out on the patio everyone helps set up the table before getting their share of food. With your mother to your right, Frankie across from you, and Felipe to your left you sit down and start for the vajitas.

Conversation between you and Felipe developed since he’s curious about what it is you’re studying. You talk about how you’re going for a degree in marketing wanting to focus especially on the digital aspect of it. Your mom cuts in about how she wished you would go with something a little more “practical” instead of artsy. You subtlety roll your eyes and bring yourself to look at Frankie who’s already staring at you. The longer you look at him the more you want to mess with him, just a little bit.

The conversation turns to Frankie while you focus on taking off one of your shoes. Your mom asks him what he’s been up to lately and he starts talking about how busy the shop is and Rosie starting 2nd grade. She also questions how his ex is doing. You take this as your queue before any more words can leave his mouth. You place your foot near his ankle and slowly slide it up his leg only to stop at his knee. He starts stuttering and looks directly at you though you pretend to be engrossed with the salsa on your chip. He doesn’t buy your act and doesn’t let up his heated gaze as he continues the conversation. He never moves your foot though.

You can’t help but giggle to yourself a little as you inch your foot up the inside of his thigh almost touching his bulge but not quite. You finally look up to watch his reaction and it doesn’t disappoint. His hands are clasped in front of his mouth with his eyes on you, his chest heaving slightly as if he is trying to control himself. You just continue to rub your foot along the inside of his thigh, teasing him with a smile on your face.

When you finally slide your foot over his bulge you see the intake of breath and begin to press down just enough to feel him grow. But once you feel just how big he is he notes the change in your expression and realizes how the tables have turned. He sees the shock and once cocky grin that enveloped your face waver into bashful uncertainty. Now it's his turn to make you squirm.

Your mom catches onto your prolonged silence and asks if you like your food. You take this as an opportunity and begin to retract your foot while you tell her how great it was. Before you can Frankie grabs your foot and puts it exactly where it was. He presses it slightly harder than you had before while boring his eyes into you. Stunned into a silent submission you feel him grinding your foot against his crotch, 4 out of your 5 senses are captivated by him and it’s all becoming too much. You take your foot back and stand abruptly gathering up your plate and asking everyone if they’d like theirs taken. Felipe and your mom appreciate your ‘politeness’ and hand you their plates, Frankie however insists he help with the dishes holding onto his plate.

You realize exactly where this is going so you quickly walk to the kitchen and leave your shoe under the table. Once inside again you take a deep breath and come to terms with the fact that you may have met your match.

“I think you left this under the table chiquita” you turn around only to find him crowding your space while holding your abandoned shoe and his plate. His dazed eyes reflecting the lust you both feel. l You must be silent for too long because he continues goading you. “Don’t tell me you’re shy now chiquita, hmm?” his lips were at your ear now, his hands rubbing your sides, and his bulge pressing against your stomach. “Not when I was getting so excited to play with you.” he gently grasps your hand, guiding it until you feel him hot and heavy. You feel your cheeks get hotter by the second and you clench your thighs together hoping it would ease the incessant need, but it doesn’t.

With your words caught in your throat you respond by palming him, getting him to release a guttural groan. He follows up with an encouraging ‘that’s it baby’ that makes your panties so wet they are probably sticking to your core. His hand then snakes its way to your hair and grabs a handful forcing your head back. You let out a whine when you make eye contact with him, his deep brown eyes look feral. Swiftly you press your lips to his in a gentle kiss that quickly turns downright filthy once Frankie takes over.

His free hand makes its way to your ass, rubbing it gently before he grabs a handful. Your bodies become unbelievably close making you moan into his mouth. He sees this opportunity to slip his tongue in your mouth and sloppily lick inside. You use your free hand to grab the back of his neck to give leverage to your tongue. He takes an obvious liking to that and grinds himself harder into your hand, it’s almost like you can feel his length pulsing harder with each passing second.

You pull back enough to start fumbling with Frankie’s belt and zipper but he stops you. Disappointed you look up at him to question why but he just smiles and grabs your hand leading you out of the kitchen and down the hall. Opening up the door to the guest bedroom you enter first while he turns to close and lock the door. When he turns around his expression is one of a man starved, butterflies erupt in your lower stomach as you walk backwards. He’s closing in on you quickly and the backs of your knees hit the bed making you fall before you can catch yourself.

Frankie climbs over you but not all the way he stops at your neck and lowers his mouth to gently kiss it, his beard scratching you in a way that makes your cunt pulse with need. As he goes lower so do the butterflies in your tummy, it almost feels like your first time but obviously better. He kneels in front of the bed lifting up your dress to pull your panties down. You watch as he sees the wet huge patch that sticks to your core making you pull your knees together out of shyness. But he pries them back apart with a look that tells you not to do it again. He inhales your panties and pockets them making your mouth drop in shock. Before you can formulate a response he’s already licking a stripe over your slit causing your pussy to start clenching around nothing. He licks his way up to your clit circling around it before he takes it into his mouth, sucking gently on it. Your back arches involuntarily and you let out a shrill moan that’s damn near pornographic. This gives Frankie pause and he digs out your panties and shoves them in your mouth holding his hand over it.

“Unless you want to get caught we have to be quiet.” Eagerly you nod your head agreeing silently begging for him to go back to eating you out. He removes his hand and lowers himself again kissing the inside of your thighs before focusing back. This time licking your folds before his tongue dives into your hole and flicking back and forth over your sweet spot causing your back to arch off of the bed. He goes from licking back to focusing on your clit which has you reeling and grabbing the sheets so you don’t buck into his mouth. Once he feels you’re wet enough he adds two thick fingers that gently rub at your sweet spot over and over until your hips move in tandem with it. He reattaches his mouth to your clit so he’s sucking while he finger fucks you, suddenly grabbing the sheets isn’t enough so you reach for his hair and start tugging it in motion with your hips. The only sounds in the room are squelching and muffled moans from you.

With you now fucking his face you know you won’t last much longer especially with him groaning in your pussy. That familiar feeling is lingering in the pit of your stomach getting closer and closer, becoming incessantly louder until you can’t take it. Your orgasm crashes into you like a wave, washing all over your body it even has your eyes rolling to the back of your head. With your hips slowing down but not completely stilling you remove your hands from Frankie’s hair. You would try to fix it but it usually looks messy anyway. Taking you by surprise he pulls the panties out of your mouth and pockets them. Again. You also catch him sucking your juices from his fingers.

When you finally can sit up you go to return the favor only for him to brush your hand off. He looks away with his hand on the back of his neck telling you he already finished. While he was eating you out. You stand up to smooth out your dress and approach him giving him the sloppiest kiss you can muster. You taste yourself on his lips and his tongue before pulling yourself back.

“You know we should probably head back and do the dishes like we are supposed to be doing.” He agrees with you and reluctantly heads for the door but you can tell from his expression that’s the last thing he wants to do. Great minds think alike. Sneaking back to the kitchen you find your mom and Felipe still on the patio talking with the food packed up.

Frankie stands beside you, closer than he needed to be, while drying the dishes for you. You can’t help but ask “So am I gonna be getting my panties back or?”

His cheeks are tinged pink when he responds “Maybe if I can get a replacement since the scent will fade.” His answer leaves you with your mouth slightly open in shock and eyes blown wide.

“So you really are just a dirty perverted old man huh?” He turns to look down at you with amusement dancing in his eyes.

“You didn’t seem to complain when you were fucking this dirty preverted old man’s face.” You pretend to be offended by the statement and fling some soapy water at him. But ultimately you end up laughing causing Frankie to do the same.

“Oh, it’s nice that the two are getting along so well I thought you would.” Your mom and Felipe are bringing in the leftovers and setting them on the counter. Her statement causes flashbacks to just how well you two got on, and how the lingering evidence is in his pocket. You sneak a look at Frankie only to find him sniffing his fingers and sending you a wink. You begin plotting your next run-in with him in your head.

#frankie morales fic #frankie morales x f!reader #frankie morales smut #frankie morales #triple frontier fanfiction #triple frontier smut #frankie morales x reader #frankie morales x you

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pinklikeroses · 2 years

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I don’t usually read webtoon comments for own well being…I saw this coming from a mile away…

Ppl are already demonizing Demeter, while praising persephone and hades….shocker 🙄

I’ll touch more on it later but all I’ll say for now is I am so sick and tired of this goddess being demonized, and depicted solely as an overprotective shrew in media, modern or otherwise

Demeter deserves better. She deserves understanding and patience but with the way LO writes her…she’s not gonna get it from some readers, except those of us who reman critical of the comic and hold the poor writing and character development accountable

As someone with an overprotective mother, I have very complex feelings about her. I love her and appreciate her but also wish I was given the space I need to grow and do things on my own.

However I understand she’s the way she is bc of generational trauma and anxiety. She treats me the way does bc it’s coming from a place of concern. This isn’t me excusing her actions it’s me understanding why she’s the way she is, while acknowledging I need to set my boundaries and have them met.

I just wish Demeter’s and Persephone’s relationship was written better and made more complex outside of “overprotective mom” and “rebellious daughter standing up for herself” 🙄

#Me ramblings #Lore olympus #lo critical #lo Demeter #lo persephone

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mannatea · 1 year

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Found, a Fire Emblem 7 ‘fic

Words: 2,641 words Summary: Unlike Lyn, Hector couldn’t simply leave it all behind, and he didn’t have the luxury of visiting old friends. But Farina did. And, she said, she could at least carry letters to them—quickly and much more efficiently than any Ostian courier. So he hired her. (And she touched lives.) Pairing/Character: Farina-centric, Hector, Eliwood, Lucius, Fiora, Natalie, Dorcas, Lyn, Vaida, Wallace, Serra, Priscilla, Lilina, and mention of a couple of others. Extra Info: This was originally written and posted sometime in January 2013. Rating: T Genre: Friendship, Tragedy

The title is the link to Ao3. If you read it please take a second to drop a comment!

Notes below the cut as usual:

I found this story on my hard drive and have reviews for it saved so I know I wrote this but until I reread it I’d completely forgotten I’d ever written it. I thought, “Wow, 2013 wasn’t that long ago! I should definitely remember this.” And then I remembered that 2013 was 10 years ago. COOL.

The date the story was last saved in my files was January 5, 2013, but I have no idea if that was the post-date or not.

I tried very very hard to take into consideration a couple of criticisms I had about the original story, namely that the “painting” scene didn’t feel like it belonged. When I reread it, I couldn’t take it out entirely (I loved it, honestly), so I connected it far better and shortened it so that it wouldn’t stick out and slow the pace as much.

I also had someone get confused about who Lilina’s mother was in the original, and it was always Florina to make this story work, so I added in a few more bits for that (and fixed a bit of awkward wording).

Finally, @markoftheasphodel was actually the only one to point this out (and she was 100% correct): the order of the scenes was erratic. She circled it back to the portrait scene being the problem, but on my reread I think part of the reason the portrait scene didn’t work was specifically due to the order the other scenes were presented in, so I rewrote them and rearranged them to feel more natural: almost like they’re going from one character to another as they learn the news and continue to write to one another.

One thing I think a lot of people forget about is that Farina’s supports with Dorcas end with her sharing some of that 20,000 gold she got from Hector with him so that he can get help for his wife’s bad leg. This is extremely important context since Farina’s personality in-game comes off pretty different. The braggart behavior is totally a mask, but without this context you lose that, and also lose that “selflessness” that comes up in the story.

Also, honestly, credit for this story has to be shared with @arthoure too, since it was our RPs with Hector and Farina that cemented her as a glorified postal employee and also friend of Lucius. Pegasus Express, GO! (I’m very attached to some old headcanons, I suppose.)

As for completely new additions, I added in more letters from others and tried to add details to show the passage of time toward the end of the story.

I hope this new and shiny version of this story is indeed the better one. I was pretty happy with the ending as it was, but wanted to add in enough to really make Farina’s death in isolation and loneliness feel like those are simply her own feelings: in adding some scenes, in particular Serra’s, it’s much clearer that her friends knew exactly where to find her—in their hearts, and in one another. 🤍

#fe7 #fire emblem #mannafics #farina

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stuckinstrangerthings · 1 year

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Senior Year - Our song

(part 6)

Pairing: Eddie Munson x fem!reader/ y/n Henderson

Context: y/n is Dustin's big sister. The events of S1 to S3 have happened with y/n being a part of it to some extent. S3 ends differently with Hopper escaping the Russians with Joyce and Murray. Joyce and Hopper made it to Enzo at some point and they are now happily dating. Joyce didn't move to California so the gang is all together in Hawkins.

Dustin's and y/n dad died a few years ago. He was Hopper and Joyce's high school friend so they are very close to the family. Hopper is y/n godfather.

I don't know yet if some of the events of S4 will happen in this serie, but I can promise that Eddie will be safe if they do.

Summary: Y/n is starting her senior year as Eddie's starts his third one. They know each other from being in the same high school, but are not really friends. She likes him. Good thing her little brother is now a part of the Hellfire Club.

Warnings: (for the whole serie) mention of dead parents, mention of drugs and alcohol, swearing, slow burn, flirting, mutual pining, fluff, friends to lovers, smut 18+.

Author's note: I want this will be a serie. English is not my first language. Also, this is my very first time writing fanfic. Please feel free to comment and give constructive criticism. Thanks!

----

Life at school changed a lot after the cafeteria incident. Mostly for the better. Jason was visibly still very angry and, as usual, faced zero consequences from the school for anything he did that day. Andy's suspension was over. But after the newspaper team had but together a whole special edition on sexual harassment and assault and published it without the school pre-approuval, Andy's parents made him switch to a private school. That little special edition was your most popular one ever. Everyone at school had a copy and it made it's way into many houses. Sparking outrage from many many parents. The newspaper never faced any consequences for publishing without approuval. Now that some of the dirty secrets were out of the bag, the school was in hot water. Even more when other students came forward with more testimonials. Hawkins local newspapers even published an article about it. There were ongoing investigations by the police as well as the schoolboard. School felt safer for everybody. It was nice.

That was not the first time the school newspaper had published a special edition without the school's approuval. The last one was a very popular edition too. It was last year. You and Nancy were already part of the team. The rest of it was mostly seniors with not much to lose from publishing without approuval. So you decided to take the risk and publish a sex education special edition. All the content very much not following the strict abstinence school cursus. You didn't care about the consequences. You felt it was important. There were consequences. No more school newspaper from the students for the rest of that year. You and Nancy were allowed back this year. Oups I guess.

---

With the new special edition behind you, it also means you can now concentrate on school, your college applications and maybe your social life. Tonight was dedicated to working on those applications. Your mother was coming back tomorrow and promised to review them with you. Should you write about your implication in the newspaper and the special editions? Was it a good thing or a bad thing to not follow school rules? It was stressful. You didn't want to screw it up. You had a lot of ambition for college, but it required being accepted and receiving a full scholarship. Your application needs to be perfect.

But now, your head is full of Eddie. His smile, his eyes, his smell... his hands. How can it not? He's at your house tonight. He gave you a nice warm hug when he got here. Hellfire's monthly horror film festival happening in your basement. They invited you but... no thanks to horror movies.

Eddie. Weeks have passed. You two are still playfully flirting. Sometimes spicier than others. Slight touches, whispers, pet names, winks. But never anything more. And boy... you feel horny all the goddamn time around him. You don't even know if you are doing a good job at hiding it most of the times. You are spending more time with him. Not only alone with him, he was now fully part of your friends group. Invited to most of your activities. You loved that he was now confortably included in your circle. But also... it was a constant reminder of how much you liked him. Not just physically. Safe to say he was now the only subject of your fantasies... and you have many involving him. You are so ready to take a step further with him... but was he? He never took it a step further from flirting . Was it only a friendly flirt competition for him? You didn't think so, but there was only one way to know. Usually, you're not a shy person, but now you would risk losing a friend and making things weird in your circle and that would suck.

No way you can concentrate on writing right now. What you need is music. You look through the little cassette collection in your room and pick the perfect one to take Eddie off your mind. A cool music mix Robin made you last summer - Robin's party mix. Upbeat songs to dance too. You plug your headphones in your stereo so you can listen to the music as loud as you want without disturbing movie night and you press play. The sound of Stevie Nicks's Edge of Seventeen fills your ears. You close your eyes and empty your mind, leaving all the space for the music. You slowly start moving your head to the beat, then your whole body. Feeling the music everywhere.

You're a few song in when Hit Me With your Best Shot by Pat Benatar starts. Still fully dancing, you turn around ...to find Eddie leaning on your door frame, arms crossed, full grin on his face. Shit. In your pyjamas - t-shirt and boxer shorts... ok that can be sexy. You can do this. No blushing. You smile at him and continue dancing, hands in the air, exaggerating your movements. To your surprise...Eddie starts dancing to a song he doesn't hear. Trying to match your dancing vibe, smiling. And yes, he is surprisingly good at it even if he's being silly. He gets closer to you and you just dance together. He takes your hand and make you spin before bringing you close to him. Your hand on his chest, his hand on it. His other hand is on your lower back while your other hand finds its way to his neck. He starts slow dancing with you. It doesn't match in any way the beat of the music in your ears...but you don't care. Just enjoying the moment. It feels good. Your hand goes in his hair. He leans closer to you, his forehead in on your forehead. He brings one hand to your cheek and looks at you. He looks nervous, your are too. you bite your lower lip. Is this happening right now?

"Eddie, what's taking so long? Are you taking a shit??" Dustin yells. The other boys laugh.

"Shit. I'm coming! " Eddie says, rolling his eyes and taking a few steps back... He looks at you and kisses your hand before walking out of your bedroom.

"Eddie?" you call.

He turns around to look at you. You unplug your headphones for him to hear the end of the song playing. What a Feeling by Irene Cara.

You smile and shrug your shoulders as you say " Sorry, that's our song now".

He laughs and soflty says "Yeah, that's our song now".

#stranger things #stranger things imagine #stranger things fanfiction #eddie munson #eddie munson slow burn #eddie x reader #eddie munson smut #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson friends to lovers #eddie x fem!reader #eddie munson stranger things

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somelonelywordmonger · 1 year

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Two hurtful things:

My mom says I act “more autistic” every time I watch Extraordinary Attorney Woo all because I make the conscious effort to unmask. When I think of Woo, Young Woo I remember that I am masking and that it is okay to move my hands constantly and bob my head in different ways and let my eyes wander. I relax and feel a sense of relief. And then my mother tells me that I am acting “more autistic” as if she thinks I’m being dramatic or putting on a show. When I talk to her while doing these motions and changing the way I speak along with the motions she interrupts me and tells me I am “annoying her” or “pissing her off”. I just can’t win.

I am criticized for being slow in my movements and sometimes in my speech if it is especially slow and slurring (usually happens when I am exhausted like when I come home from work or have just woken up.) “[my name] has always been slow” or “Can you hurry it up?” This often happens with my mother and sister, but when walking places with other people like friends, coworkers, and family I am often left behind. There is a large gap between me and the people walking ahead. And I could be absolutely booking it, trying my hardest to keep up and somehow I still fall way behind. People rarely look back to see if I am still there with them. I attribute my pacing in speech and movements to autism as it can affect those things.

I don’t think anyone knows how much these things hurt me. I guess I must be a robot to people since I am asexual, aromantic, agender, and autistic. “Oh I forgot, you don’t understand or know what its like” (regarding attraction or something similar.) But I have a lot of feelings, big and small. I have elaborate conversations because I have to explain every nuance so that people don’t misunderstand me and can see exactly what I see, only to still fail to get my message across as people like my mother get annoyed. “Get to the point!” This need to explain everything developed from a childhood full of misunderstandings.

My mother’s comments hurt the most. They cut the deepest. I may not truly be able to wrap my head around romantic and especially sexual attraction, but I get the gist. And I can crack dirty jokes too. I don’t think I am slow, just as I don’t know when my voice is way louder than it needs to be. I’m happy with my fidgeting and moving hands, but instead it makes her so annoyed that she can’t look at me or hold a conversation with me without telling me to stop and saying I am acting “more autistic” thanks to the show. The show I have been trying to get her to watch because it can speak for me. Just as I want her to read Sensory: Life on the Spectrum: An Autistic Comics Anthology and for her to read Gender Queer: A Memoir because so many of these experiences are so close to mine (that sometimes it is a little scary like in Gender Queer with things like the OB-GYN [if you know, you know.]) It hurts to be brushed off, it hurts to be made out to be some overly dramatic person or that just because I have done my damnedest not to show my autism for 24 fucking years, now that I am coming to terms and freeing myself it is a problem. I would love to show this post to my mom, but I can imagine her becoming mad as hell since I shared this, even if no one here would know who I was talking about. It just hurts guys. Sorry for the novel, I know, I’m long-winded.

#autism #vent #possibly triggering but idk what trigger to put #extraordinary attorney woo #asexual #agender #aromantic #masking #actually autistic #neurodivergent

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gaia-prime · 1 year

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Radfem/💇‍♀️: Are you a radfem, just radfem-adjacent, or just gender critical?

radical feminism is the form of feminism to actually aims to improve to material reality of women. choice-y lib-y pomo-y “feminism” is just decorating the cage, radical feminism is getting out of it 🐅

Peak/🌄: What was the first thing that peaked you, and when did you peak (not just specifically “peak trans,” but anything “peak patriarchy”)?

peak trans was the rape rhetoric towards lesbians

Everest/🏔️: What has been your worst subsequent peak?

when nobody who supported the gender movement was pushing back against the rape rhetoric towards lesbians.

one time i did see someone say “don’t say that” not because it was, you know, rape, but because it’s quote: “bad optics”

Separate/🚷: Are you a female separatist or a lesbian separatist, and to what extent?

GNC/🥾: Are you GNC, and to what extent?

no one would describe me as gnc, and i’ve got shiny long hair and pretty privilege (lol) to thank for that. i mostly only leave the house for work (in scrubs) or or the pottery studio (in a tshirt and overalls or sweatpants.) but when i’m wearing something in my style it’s usually pretty feminine, albeit practical. i refuse to wear anything debilitating or uncomfortable. i straight up lose respect for anyone who has those long false nails 🤮

Orientation/🩲: Are you a lesbian, bisexual, or heterosexual?

lesbian 🌈 lucky me ☺️

Bi/🔺: If you’re bisexual, are you a febfem?

Hetero/👫: If you’re heterosexual, are you choosing to be celibate?

Picrew/👤: No more identifying information, make a picrew icon of yourself that doesn’t look like you.

what about some of my photomode snaps from horizon zero dawn and forbidden west?

Leg/🦵: Where does your leg hair start getting darker (above the knee, mid thigh, dark from the moment hip ends and thigh begins)?

at my knees

Body/🔍: Do you have more/darker body hair on your left side, right side, or about equal on both sides?

equal i think?

Carnivora/🦊: Are you more of a cat person or a dog person?

I’m bipetsual.also i think hating dogs or hating cats is embarrassing and demonstrates poor character and you shouldn’t admit that in public…

Baby/👶: How do you feel about the baby plane (funny answers only)?

i’m zooted out on benzos seroquel and complimentary drinks when i’m flying so i am OUT snork mimimimimi on planes…

Natal/🤰: Pronatalism, antinatalism, or natalism neutral?

natalism agnostic i guess? natalism skeptic? i cannot relate to wanting to give birth,but i get that not every woman desires the same thing. and i have no interest in denying women the opportunities and resources to be mothers. however, i believe in the importance of empowering women worldwide with access to education autonomy over their reproductive health. when women are empowered, birth rates go down. this is a good thing. woman choosing when to be mothers , or not, is a good thing. i believe in humanity (despite everything) and would like to see us continue to survive as a species. however unending population growth only serves a few very powerful people because capitalism demands endless growth. it’s not a sustainable future and it’s not the future women want.

-Fem/💻: Do you identify as a member of any of the -fem titles (factfem, nicefem, rudefem, etc)?

not really. however the only posts and comments i have made that seem to get any attention are snarky comments and jokes, so i guess i come off as a rudefem more than anything else. which is not how i conceptualize myself and not exactly the energy i want to put out there to lesbians and gnc people who go along with gender nonsense. or especially to ones that are really struggling, feel pressured, or have existing trauma or mental illness exacerbated by gender propaganda. above all else i just want lesbians and gnc people and kids to be safe and healthy. i just don’t know if there’s much i, using a tumblr blog, can do about that.

Animal/🦕: If you had to pick an animal to represent your blog, what would it be (catfems, you don’t have to answer cat)?

a wolf 🐺 because i want my mate . AwoooOooo

Labrys/🪓: If you’re a lesbian, how do you feel about the labrys (both the flag and the icon)?

uhhhhmm..

Interest/😍: If you weren’t a radblr user, what would your blog be about?

i wouldn’t be me if i weren’t a feminist and weren’t true to myself and my interests. if you can’t be a feminist in a low stakes forum like tumblr, where Can you be a feminist?

Gender/💩: Here’s the link to get a random Wikipedia page. You now have a neogender based off of the page that was pulled up–what is it?

Man on the Moon (soundtrack) oh?

Feminist/🦸‍♀️: Are there any particular feminists or feminist groups you look up to?

i look up to every lesbian who is being true to herself and not taking male bullshit

Woman/🧑: For $0, name a woman.

Azealia Banks

Man/🧔: If you could kill one man (excluding politicians, billionaires, and those responsible for world tragedies), who would it be?

kAm

#ask meme #beatifiq asked me to answer all of them

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transformatives · 1 month

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The Art of the Edit

For many, the cold months from November to March are known simply as winter. But for cinephiles and celebrity lovers, this past winter was film awards season, when films such as Barbie, Anatomy of a Fall, and Oppenheimer were nominated for the coveted trophies. While watching the Oscars with my mother I gave my opinion on actors and she asked which of the movies I had seen. I told her the truth: that I had not watched many of these films, but rather that I had seen edits of the actors on TikTok set to catchy bubblegum pop music.

For a decent percentage of Gen Z, the art of the TikTok edit is how they know what’s hot in entertainment and how they comment on social events. However, the differing perspectives on what edit culture means can make the issue more complex than it appears on the surface. For specificity, I will be looking into online fandom spaces that are occupied by mostly women. By investigating a sort of social third place for women, we can observe the discourses and trends that arise in such a separated online space. In this post, I’ll be focusing on the discourse between editors, the audience, and how men are portrayed in this female-dominated online space.

As with most things related to modern fan culture, edits can be traced back to the original Star Trek fandom. The first recorded edit was created in 1975 by Star Trek fan Kandy Fong, who put together clips of the show set to William Shatner’s song “It Was A Very Good Year”. In the early years of fan editing (known then as “vidding”) edits were hard to come by, as they used scrapped film and distributed them via VHS tapes at conventions. With the dawn of the internet, these transitioned to online forums and later YouTube, which prioritized longer videos that usually lasted the length of a song. An infamous example of this is the Josh Hutcherson “Whistle” Edit, which recently resurfaced and was replicated like that of “Never Gonna Give You Up” by Rick Astley. The reason that the Whistle Edit became so popular again was due to its outdated editing style. It was compared to the edits of today, which are churned out by hundreds of thousands of editing accounts with often professional-level production. One must wonder why so many fans find themselves as editors when it is a form of media often looked over.

One possible interpretation of edit-making is a desire to simply express oneself through an art form. Many editors will describe their satisfaction at completing a project and posting it to adoring followers, or at nailing a certain transition-music combo that has people gasping in admiration. There’s a joy in creating without the pressures of capitalism that demand that every project should be made into a profitable side hustle. Simply put, it’s a hobby and one where thousands of fans, mostly young women, are teaching themselves video editing terms, applications, techniques, styles, etc. Don’t let the sheer quantity of edits confuse you: editing is not easy. Needless to say, it is an art form and a process that is entertaining and educational to those who create it.

But these are usually made with the intent of reaching an audience, of course. I’d like to propose the idea that fanworks are a form of communication similar to gossip. Both are looked over for their informal, non-profitable, and female-dominated nature, but are important for strengthening social bonds and communicating information about what groups deem important, appropriate, humorous, etc. When someone posts a Lord of the Rings edit of Eowyn, they can open the floor for their audience to discuss the issues with sparse gender representation in their favorite franchise. When someone posts a popular edit of a Call of Duty character with bows in their hair, they are poking fun at a male-dominated fandom’s distaste for anything feminine in their violent male fantasy game. Edits can speak to admiration and criticism of the media, even in an informal setting such as TikTok. As feminist scholar Silvia Federici writes, “It is women who ‘gossip,’ presumably having nothing better to do and having less access to real knowledge and information and a structural inability to construct factually based, rational discourses. Thus, gossip is an integral part of the devaluation of women’s personality and work…” In the same way that gossip is deemed as “idle female talk”, women’s hobbies are derided despite their role in learning and social communication.

However, this discourse can be very male-focused, which is one of the pitfalls of fandom. The majority of edits are of men, whether to highlight emotional moments or to express sexual desire. This attitude differs between and within fandoms, but the fact remains that even in many female-dominated spaces, men are centered. This can partially be attributed to the female gaze, this desire to gaze at men and express one's desires for emotional vulnerability, complexity, intimacy, etc. By taking media that is created through the male gaze and purposefully transforming it, editors can partake in the creation. They make space for themselves. This subculture reaction comes at a time when the dominant media is having another moral panic crisis against discussions of sexuality. In many ways, it’s a reiteration of conversations that have been happening for decades. A grown woman discusses explicit books online with friends or a teenage girl makes an edit of a celebrity she finds attractive, and suddenly they are obsessive and mentally unwell. Hollywood is clear about one thing: sex sells. Except, of course, if erotic materials are created and curated in the hands of women.

But I also wonder: where does this leave queer fans? These online spaces reflect the real-life complaint many queer women have, which is that hanging out with straight women means that they might only talk about the men in their lives. Lesbian fans must carve themselves a smaller niche within their respective fandoms, rejected by the rest of their peers. Some solace can be found in speculative queer fanworks, but even there men are centered. Statistics on TikTok edits are difficult to pin down, but we can look at another example of transformative fanworks. The popular fanfiction website Archive of Our Own reported that as of 2023, of the twenty top pairings written about, only one pairing had a female character. None of these pairings were a woman-loving-woman relationship. There’s also the issue that lesbian fans’ sexualities are questioned when they create fan-content about men. There is the implication that for a woman to be a fan of something, they must be interested for romantic or sexual reasons, which is demeaning and dismissive. It seems that even in female-dominated spaces, the hegemonic ideal of male supremacy unfortunately prevails.

Our external biases and hegemonic influences can affect what we enjoy and create, and it is important to be aware of these and actively work against them. Nevertheless, kudos must be given to the editors who provide their audience and peers with works of art. It is an underappreciated act to transform a dominant piece of media into something for an alternative audience. Editing provides a space for female fans to find community and feel safe in expressing both the creativity and sexual desire that they might be shamed for in other spaces. So the next time you see a Swann Arlaud edit to “Comme Des Garçons ” by Rina Sawayama, know that just like the boys, women should be confident in loving their interests.

#long post #fandom culture #fandom history

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bellmo15-blog · 5 months

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Everything Wrong With BellmoTheGreat Vol 2

-The fact that both this and the original journal were inspired by Cinema’s Sins. Specifically, there videos on Everything Wrong With… THEMSELVES! Because no movie, or person, is without sin. +1

-And speaking of Cinema Sins because I really can’t think of a better time to bring this up, I actually use to love them! Not just them but any other channel that was basically just Cinema Sins but for gaming. You know, ones like Dartigan, Charrii5, GCN, those sorts of people. Normally I’m all for people enjoying what they want but me liking these channels in particular was a sin. +2

-There’s a lot of reasons I stopped watching these channels, from the constant scene manipulation to playing dumb to make things look like they don’t make sense to repeating sins to making bad pop culture references that aren’t sins of what they were sinning to acting like “the books don’t matter” to constantly contradicting themselves (they will sin a movie/game for not explaining anything but then turn around and sin it FOR explaining two much) or in the case of stuff like Cinema Sins Harry Potter videos saying some REALLY creepy stuff like “Hermine isn’t old enough to be hot yet.” (Yes, they ACTUALLY said that in almost all their HP videos, go watch them if you don’t believe me) to thinking they can get away with it because they write themselves of as “satire” as if satire can’t still be criticised and those channels STILL putting actual criticisms in there videos. +3

-That being said, I haven’t been watching channels like Th3Birdman and others like him that do Everything Wrong With videos on Everything Wrong With videos and well, this journal IS an Everything Wrong With on myself so… I guess I can’t really escape this type of content. +4

-I’m still white! But not so white that I don’t know what New Growth means. +5

-I’m 27 years old but I have more than 22 years of gaming experience. Hey, some of us don’t just come out of the womb knowing how to hold a controller. Sometimes we wait until we get a Playstation 2 for Christmas of 2000 before we do. +6

-I was a Playstation kid for most of the 2000’s. Yes, I did have a Gameboy Advanced, Wii and DS but most of my time was spent on either my Playstation 2, Playstation 3 or Playstation Portable. +7

-I had a Playstation 3 over an Xbox 360 and I am not ashamed of that! +8

-I once played a train conductor in my High Schools performance of Goodnight Mister Tom in the beginning of the performance where Willie’s mother sends him off to live with Tom on the train despite that opening never once happening in the original book our play was based on. Trust me, we had to read the book in school, I know! +9

-One time I was asked to help sell beer at a local footy game despite not liking either football or beer. +10

-Also, I’m an Australian who doesn’t enjoy or watch the footy. Yes, that’s a sin! +11

-Inkling Michael exists! +12

-Inkling Michael: Hey screw you! I’m beautiful! Take a sin off for me! -11

-Shiver is my favourite Splatoon girl behind Marina. Yeah you heard me Frye fans who get salty that Shiver has won almost every Splatfest in Splatoon 3 so far! +12

-Hate makes me stronger. Actually, hate makes ALL of us stronger! No really, what a lot of people don’t realize it that prior to dislikes being removed from Youtube they still technically counted as likes and leaving negative comments on a post was usually enough to get that post trending. Hate really does make us all stronger! We are all collectively like the Sith in a Star Wars movie. +13

-The reason review scores don’t have any value to me is actually because it’s pointless to give a score to something that will be subjective to everyone who experiences that! +14

-Same with arguing over what game “deserves” Game of the Year. To me Game of the Year is nothing more than a meaningless title that holds no real value yet everyone is always so determined to lable what they think is the best game of that year period ignoring the fact that again, we all have different tastes and what you consider to be Game of the Year won’t be someone else’s favourite. There’s a good reason I stopped taking this saying very seriously after the 2020 Game Awards where everyone collectively overreacted to The Last of Us Part 2 winning. +15

-I went to my local Pizza Hut once, got sick and had to go to the bathroom and then a few days later the place closed down. I didn’t even put in a complaint or anything, it just happened! So yeah, to everyone in my town who’s sad over that you can blame me for it, kinda. +16

-I have Autism. And despite what some people still think it doesn’t make you stupid. But I still have it so… +17

-Those who think I don’t read any of the source material a game is based on are going to be even more disappointed when I tell them… yeah actually your right. Most of the time at least. +18

-No actually, can I just take this opportunity to vent for a second about something? The books DO fucking matter! The Witcher games would not exist if the books didn’t exist. The Batman Arkham games would not exist if the Batman comics did not exist! Every single Star Wars game ever would not exist if the Star Wars movies didn’t exist! The Simpsons Hit and Run would not exist if the Simpsons Show didn’t exist! Kingdom Hearts would not exist if Disney didn’t! This isn’t really a sin on myself or anything, I just wanted to vent about this because people genuinely think that the source material something is based on “doesn’t matter” or that they need to consult a book just to understand it while also ignoring that these adaptations are just that! Adaptations of already existing stories and characters! And even then, most adaptations you don’t ALWAYS have to consult a book thanks to a little thing you might have heard of called “show don’t tell!” Jesus Fucking Christ, media literacy really IS dead if people say that the books “don’t matter!”

-Prior to Sony removing the option to share videos and clips to Twitter via PS5 I had to censor my swear words even though I don’t have any problem with swear words. Why? Because Sony made it so that it stops you from sharing anything if your post includes a swear. I can’t begin to tell you how many times I’ve had to do this! +19

-I’ve managed to piss off both Star Wars fans and Pokemon fans even though I love both those things. +20

-I’ve gotten 2 pics of my sona hypnotized and coiled by Kaa but not one pic of me with Miia or Alice. +21

-I don’t understand Roman Numerals. Or at least I don’t understand ones up to VI. +22

-You can usually tell just how much of a franchsie I actually know just based on how I write some of the descriptions to my commissions. “Junko from Danganropa in an interesting suit designed around the funny bear man from the same series.” HIS NAME IS FUCKING MONOKUMO YOU UNCULTURED SWINE! +23

-Somehow some of the best friends I’ve made in the past 5 years have been artists, some of whom I’ve commissioned several times, yet the most I’ve ever done in terms of actual art is a couple of sketches done on my 3DS that I did in like five minutes. +24

-Someone once tried to insult me on Facebook by calling me a Trump Supporter even though A) They were replying to a comment I made that had nothing to do with Donald Trump, B) I’m not even American and C) Fuck Donald Trump! +25

-Yeah no, I still don’t like Spec Ops The Line. Sorry! +125

-I tweet like a normal weirdo which is clearly an act. +126

-I actually, unironically enjoy Sonic and The Black Knight! It’s a pain to play sometimes if you’re playing this on actual hardware like I do because of the motion controls but I actually have fun with this game. I haven’t played Sonic and the Secret Rings yet but I’m willing to bet I’d enjoy that two. And not just because one of the characters in it is an admittedly really cute genie girl. +127

-Everyone thinks I have a massive love for Shantae which… yeah, I do! Obviously, I’ve made that pretty clear in the past, but in reality, EVERYONE has a massive love for Shantae. +128

-The only Paper Mario game I’ve ever played and have still played was Super Paper Mario. +129

-The Nohrian path in Fire Emblem Fates will forever be superior to the Hoshidens. And let me stop you right there, it’s NOT purely because of Camilla! She’s only a bonus reason. +120

-I once sold my Wii U copies of Mario Kart 8 and Pokken Tournament just because I was getting the Switch versions. Yes, that IS a sin because why the fuck would I do that as someone who’s a Wii U defender! (I DID get those versions back eventually though.) +131

-I have WAY to many games that I’ve brought but have never played! Tearaway, all the Little Big Planet games, the first two Infamous games, Astral Chain, Tokyo Mirage Sessions, Zombi U, the list goes on. +132

-I actually enjoy Detroit: Become Human and Heavy Rain. I still yet to finish Beyond Two Souls and Fahrenheit though. +133

-I’ve failed the Wrong Side of the Tracks mission in Grand Theft Auto San Andreas so much at this point that I can’t even be bothered to do that mission the legitimate way anymore! I always just park the bike on a specific roof, get off and jump onto the train to bust some caps in those gangsters’ asses. +134

-I’m sort of still a brony. Not as much as I use to be in the mid 2010’s but I still have a love for this show. +135

-I still believe that the haters of something can be way, WAY worse than the people who enjoy a thing. There’s a dam good reason I was proud to be a brony for most of the 2010s. +136

-I only got into Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared because of Red Guy. He is my spirit animal! +137

-I was enjoying Little Which Academia up to the point where I was spoiled about a pretty big plot twist around one of the characters via a meme! While I was six episodes in! I have yet to continue watching it because of that meme! +138

-I’ve never made a video game therefor I should probably just shut the fuck up. +139

Sin Total: 139 Sentence: Dante makes it into a Smash Game! (But it’s the 2013 reboot Dante!)

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honeyrisuke · 2 years

Note

No judgement. I just want to ask if you're sure you dont have an ED, because it sounds like (the beginning of) one

yyep! pretty sure

and since I'm oversharing on here all the time anyways:

When this all first flared up when I was a teenager, I was still in therapy once per week.

The topic came up, I asked about it and got accessed and the end result was that I am not presenting like a typical ED patient, most importantly because the flareups were always tied to something regarding my mother.

Someone with a regular ED might have had it triggered by a parent or another person in their life, but ultimately it stays a behaviorial pattern for them.

So for me, this was rowed up with the other things I have going on because my mother has borderline personality disorder and is not and has never been treated for it. She got the diagnosis like 5 times as far as I remember, but always just stormed out of the therapists office and would complain to people about "feeling insulted" and when we told her to maybe do something about it, we had to "accept her as she is".

Children of people with untreated, rampant Borderline tend to have symptoms for all sorts of stuff, usually Borderline itself and/or depression and might seem to show symptoms for OCD, EDs etc but ultimately these things are always stemming from learned behaviors that come from the Borderline parent.

In my specific case, whenever my mother felt like she lacked control she'd call me fat and lazy, she'd tell me I was disgusting, make comments on "how long my favourite jeans would still fit", comment on anything I ate- sometimes even things she gave to me. To this day whenever I am with her she will bring up the topic of bodies and size and eating at least once, always in a very bad tone. Very often she'd literally stand in front of a mirror and insult herself for her size, for her shape, whatever- and she's never been big. And I'm not talking self-criticism, she literally throws slurs at herself and sometimes starts screaming so you can hear her through the whole house.

My reaction to my own size, eating habits and how I restrict myself are learned behaviors I have from my mother, and I think right now they are flaring up this badly BECAUSE I'm actually heavier than I've been before (not by a lot, I'm low mid-size still lol) , plus my mother is calling me very frequently recently (and she ALWAYS brings up fatphobic topics during those calls, even if I ask her not to)

This also means I can't handle it like someone who does have an ED, I'll have to handle it like someone recovering from growing up in an abusive household (which is precisely my case).

And, not to sound mean, but this is also why I don't support self diagnosis. Because if I was to self diagnose, I'd say I have mild borderline, have an eating disorder, and mild OCD. I do have symptoms for all of these, so if I didn't know any better, this would make perfect sense- but a trained therapist or psychiatrist is able to look at the full picture.

so, TL;DR: Yes I'm sure I don't have an ED because this is part of my symptoms coming from my mom having Borderline Personality Disorder and letting it out on me

#that bit about self diagnosis is the most important part I wanna put into the world tbh lmao #TMI #cw eating disorder #cw food #cw uhhh mental health stuff???

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snappleapple · 3 years

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their favorite types of kisses

people in this - dream, georgenotfound, sapnap, wilbur, punz, jschlatt, awesamdude, quackity

headcanon!

the most disgusting fluff i’ve ever written

warning - cursing, i think that’s all but if there is more please do not hesitate to tell me :)

word count - 2k

a/n: okay okay, i might’ve lied earlier about that being my last post but this was short and easy to make which is why i would like to feed my readers this early haha. anyways, enjoy and please disregard the errors in this post, i hate proof reading anything lol. also, i’ve been very indecisive on the title and i might change it later and ooh, my masterlist will be made soon. i’ve just been feeling very unproductive these days. also, please put in requests, i am so bored and dumb therefore there are no ideas in this brain. and if you’d like a part 2, i might add more people for the part 2!anyways, peace!

dream -

i get the feeling that dream’s favorite type of kisses would be cheek kisses

he just likes to watch as you struggle to reach his height

“aw look at those little legs do their thing.”

ends up with you not giving him his kiss

and mans becomes SO pouty

“y/n…come on. don’t be this way.” :(

if you don’t kiss him on the cheek, will also become SO clingy and whiny

“why won’t you KISS ME!”

clenches his fists and stomps away like a teenage girl during puberty

slamming the door to your room

so then you have to go and give him all the kisses he wants

his face is slammed into your pillow

you sit on the side of the bed and pet his hair

leading him to stare up at you with puppy dog eyes

“i will give you all the kisses you want. so stop being so pouty, you big baby.”

will literally leave zero feet of space between you and him

taps his cheek to tell you he wants kisses

when you go on dates, will literally make you stand on your tippy toes to get his kisses

does not bend down at all and actually lifts his head higher to tease you

in other words, clingy but rude hoe

george -

george is a classic romantic

he loves just lip kisses

pecks or lingering ones

he doesn’t care

mans don’t need too many kisses

nor does he need to be too clingy

total opposite of dream and sapnap *ahem clingy ahem*

if he wants a kiss,

he will come over to you and get it

doesn’t get pouty if you’re busy

just waits patiently

doesn’t enjoy it when you interrupt him when he’s streaming so you do your own thing

when you’re watching a movie with him,

he will literally only stare at you with his cute smile

and listen to your every criticism of the movie

he likes to just peck your lips whenever he feels like it

and you’re just not surprised anymore

just likes to stare at your lips whenever you talk

overall, is very sweet but not to an extent with showing affection

sapnap -

omg

sapnap just vibes with neck kisses

it tickles his neck and he loves them

giggles when you pepper kisses along his neck and flushes a deep red

“y/n. stop.” giggles between each word

but when you do, becomes the saddest person in the whole world

“i was joking.” :(

when he’s streaming and he begins to miss you

would leave his room and find you just to get a kiss

just like dream, would get angry if you give him no kisses

“GIVE ME KISSIES!”

very amusing for you

and you love to tease him

“i don’t want to give you kissies.”

continues to stare at you with a large frown until you give in and give him kissies

lsg supremacy but i’ll get into this later hehe

you better give him kisses or you’ll be dealing with a very sad sapnap

sadnap :(

wilbur -

wilbur, wilbur, wilbur

what can i even say

total nose kiss guy

i bet he’ll boop your nose twenty four seven

asks stupid questions just to get your attention

“y/n?”

“yes wilbur?”

“is a hotdog a sandwich?”

“why-“

“boop.”

“did you just say boop while you booped my nose?”

if he’s streaming and you bring him a snack

he will hold your face still and leave kisses on your nose

not too clingy but not too distant

likes to be just right with you

if its snowy outside and your noses get red

makes dumb jokes about he is rudolph and you’re mrs. rudolph

just a lot of smooches from wilby

takes you to a lot of hidden cafes in the city

and while you read, he balances his head on his palm, staring at you in admiration

if you’re insecure about your nose, you legit can’t be around wilbur because he will go on a tangent about how beautiful it is

substantially, soft boy hours all day bro, besides when he gets mad then you leave the hormonal man tf alone

punz -

i don’t see a lot of punz on tumblr so here we go

punz loves hand kisses

not to an extent where he has a hand fetish

god no but just like

when your holding hands, he’ll occasionally pull your hand up to his lips and leave a kiss

lots of hand holding

and i mean lots

constantly gets mad fun of for being a simp but ignores those comments because he genuinely loves you so much

likes it when you play with his hair and messing it up

also likes to compare hand sizes with you

always has a hand on your thigh or your hand in his whenever he is driving somewhere with you

even when you go on dates, always holding hands

no matter how sweaty your hand gets, he will hold on

sometimes if he holds on for too long, you have to tell him to let go

“punz, my hand is super sweaty. lets take a break from the hand holding.”

would flat out decline so you would have to pry your hand out of his

he would also love it when you would kiss his hand

makes him feel all polite and precious LOL

would also wrap his pinky along yours when you walk together

he once came with you to a family gathering for christmas and was so SHY

shy boy held your hand for security while your younger siblings made fun of you

afterwards, when you were under a mistletoe, he kisses you on the lips before kissing you on his favorite part of your body,

your hand

c!jschlatt -

jschlatt is a whole mess

the first time you met, he confessed that he would hate you for as long as you lived because you made fun of his boots

now he says he still strongly dislikes you but you’re more tolerable

doesn’t like it when you make him soft and HATES it when he blushes

“why must you do this to me, mother nature?”

also “hates” it when you even touch him because he “hates” you

when he actually confessed to you that he liked you with his grumpy usual grandpa voice,

you kissed him on his forehead, after he bent down of course

he is an actual giant and threatens to squash you like an ant if he feels the need to

is an absolute monster to you but loves it when you kiss his forehead because it makes him feel secure and loved

likes to watch the wind blow through your hair and mess it up but gives you his hat because he like you being “all pretty and shit”

gets SUPER jealous when you hug children

like for example, when you went over to a family gathering at his house, his cousins came up to hug you

and when you let go of the child, the man child comes and lugs you over his shoulder

gets yelled at by his mom and gives her a sheepish smile before rolling his eyes and throwing you down on the sofa set next to him

his mom doesn’t approve of the way he treats you but you tell her its fine because he’s cute

when you are far from any type of civilization or in the safety and solitude of your own home, he wants kisses on the forehead

pointing up to it and bending down so you could reach it

“y/n, i only love you because of your forehead kisses.”

“you only love me for my kisses?” :(

“mhm.”

actually feels slightly bad

“and because of your personality.”

“thank you-“

“shut up. we don’t talk about this.”

in conclusion, give him his forehead kisses or perish

awesamdude -

sam just adores it when you give him jawline kisses

not because it’s basically the only place you could reach but because it’s a sweet gesture

sam is all about sweetness

i mean have you even seen this man on his stream

he likes to watch you while you have conversations with your friends

not in a creepy way but more like an adoring way

cause man does he love you

i mean not only does he love you but his whole family does

and when you’re alone with sam, you love to bury him underneath all of your love

“i love you sam!”

“no i love you more y/n!”

“NO i LOVE you more!”

“NO i LOVE you MORE!”

“SAM NO. I LOVE YOU MORE!”

“okay thank you sweet pea.”

leaving you a bit confused but happy that he accepts your love

when you cuddle, omg

he never stops peppering kisses all over your face and vice versa because your relationship is disgustingly fluffy

when he lends you one of his sweatshirts, you sure as hell better wear that shit out or else (i am leaving a blank threat here)

sam loves technology but you guys sort of have a system

a system that involves mailing each other love letters rather than texting them

you guys also go on a ton of walks just about anywhere

hand holding is mandatory even though you probably look like a child compared to him

just give sam lots of love and in return, you’ll receive lots of love

quackity -

mans cannot leave you tf alone

likes to do ANYTHING freaky around you

“i will follow you to the ends of the earth, mi amor.” or

“ayy, back off.” if anyone gets too close to you

messes with you twenty four seven and makes it his job to drive you insane

plays horror games at two in the morning for fun

and when he gets scared, hides in the safety of your arms

“mi amor. i’m scared.”

“shut the fuck up and sleep, alex.”

“okay.” shuts up quickly and snuggles deeper into the crook of your neck

loves you so deeply but HATES your cat

“look at that little dumb thing stare at me. you got a problem bro?”

your cat also HATES alex

scratches him all the time and hisses at him

if you think sapnap is babie, wait till you meet alex

“y/n he bit me!”

when you glance down, you don’t even see a scratch

“kiss my boo boo.”

wtf

“what boo boo? there’s nothing there.”

gasps as if you offended him

“this boo boo that your el demonio did to me.”

this man will do anything to get boo boo kisses

istg, you once found him provoking your cat to get some scratches

in alex’s mind, ouchies = kisses from y/n

always has ouchies from god knows where and shows it to you

even though you find it annoying at first, you grow used to it and it sorta becomes your thing with alex

alex is babie and you need to take good care of him :)

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