#ttw x reader | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jjeong-bun · 5 years

Text

through the woods | kim namjoon [m] | [REPOST]

characters: namjoon x reader, mentions of other BTS members

Rating: nsfw, 18+

Genre: werewolf!au, smut, fluff, oneshot

Warnings: smut, mating, biting, heat, impregnation kink, receiving, soft!namjoon, namjoon being an adorably bumbling cutie pie, Jin being a wingman, other sinful stuff

Word count: 9k

notes: reposted 16.06.19

***

There was something so incredibly empty with your reality; a dreary existence filled with morning college classes, night-shifts at the University library and your solidarity with the elderly landlady of your apartment complex the only human connection you had on a daily basis.

You were a self-indulged introvert. Social interaction sapped your energy far too low for you to function properly the next day. But as you returned piles of books back into their respective shelves on a Friday evening, you were filled with a sense of despondency. You body caved within itself into a pit, twisted around as if to fill something. You craved another’s feather-light touch, slipping around your body like star-kissed grazes. You needed companionship, and not from the ratty old toy stuffed in your bedside table.

A soft exhale left your mouth in a short breath, fingers twisting around the trolley as you pushed your way through the aisles of bookcases. The library was expectantly vacant on Friday night, only a few languid bodies. Mr Song, the grandfather-like librarian for the University, sent you a bleary smile as you passed him by.

“I can handle the rest of the shift myself.” He took the trolley from you, nudging you aside. “You should head home before it gets too late. There’s been an increase of wolf sightings around the area. Remember to text me when you’ve gotten home?”

The rise in wolf sightings was met with both fear and fascination through the campus. Your University’s mascot was a strong, black silhouette of a wolf howling to the sky. Legends say that the University grounds were used as the basis of wolf lore, a key idea that attracted many artists like yourself to come and indulge in the supposed otherworldly experience. As such, wolf sightings were looked on with scepticism and disbelief, after all, most students that claimed to see them were adamant believers of the legend of the grounds.

With sluggish steps, you waved Mr Song goodbye before stepping into the elevator to take you down. You were one of the last ones to leave, fingers gripping your shoulder bag as you stepped out into the numbness of night. The night air was the awakening coldness that you needed, a shower of ice that breezed through you thin cardigan.

Your university was a small campus, not the best in the country but perfect for your needs. Converted from an old family manor, it was surrounded by acres of uncharted woodlands that were the perfect inspiration for your art and a welcomed distraction from the bustling capital of Seoul. As always, you were struck by the quaintness of the area, an echo of a past life you wished to have experienced for yourself. You were old-school; long sleeved jumpers and vinyl records, doodles in moleskine notebooks and poetry from Shelley and his contemporaries.

Taking a shortcut through the woodland, you tried to calm your mind. Nothing seemed more appealing to you then huddled under the covers of your bed. Despite your love of your apartment, you’d be lying if the woodlands weren’t your place. It had little to do with the fact it was outside and more to do with the silence it ushered in, especially during the early hours of the evening when the sun had finally settled behind the banks of clouds in colours of exploding violet.

You inhaled another large breath, footsteps dragging in the familiar cobbled trail through the woods. You could finally breathe, the emptiness you felt earlier subsiding. It was a lovely feeling, the escapism the woods presented. There was a euphoric moment where it was you alone in the world, just you and the winking moon above the treetops.

A threatening growl broke the tranquil of the night.

The kind of fear that deluged your body was akin to being trapped inside a house whilst a hurricane-ravaged outside. You were in a moment of peace inside the stability of your four walls, but you could hear the danger coming closer and closer.

Sharp intakes of air flooded through your mouth as you turned around hurriedly, a sense of agitation settling into your bones. Tightening the grip on your bag, you ran forward in swift steps. As moonlight faded away, there was barely enough left for shadows. But you could clearly make out the large pooled silhouette of a four-legged animal creeping slowly towards you.

The wolf was ragged and untidy but stalked towards you in the grandeur of animalistic power. A scream ripped through your body, burning at the sides of your throat.

With a threatening growl, it lunged at you, swiping your legs to the ground. Your bag was ripped from your shoulder, a sharp burn surrounding the junction between your shoulder blade and neck. Pain and panic engulfed your senses as fear filled your lungs. You couldn’t see, couldn’t breathe. All you could feel was the claw that punctured your leg, ripping through your jeans in sadistic hunger.

Villainous black eyes glowered down at you, a menace of unyielding muscles of flesh pushing your body down. With a loud growl that rumbled through its belly and the widening of its’ mouth, you reached out for something, anything, to fend it off. A scream ripped through your mouth when it reached forward to try and clamp at your face, your hand reaching around you on the floor as you flinched away.

Gripping a rugged stone, you threw with all your limited strength at its’ body.

It hit the monster’s side, bouncing off in a tame way but gave you time to drag your injured body away. Adrenaline bounded through your body as you found a forsaken tree branch on the ground. Shielding it in front of you, you cried in pain as you tried to stand. Agonising

Tears burned your eyes. “Help! Please, somebody!” You screamed.

The wolf snarled, its’ jagged teeth stepping forward with potent power. Sobs heaved your chest, as you branded the flimsy branch like a weapon, stumbling backwards in pain. “Is anybody there? Please!”

Another howl ripped through the night, deeper, darker, than the wolf in front of you.

“Fuck no, no!” You trembled. This was not happening. You were not about to be eaten by two fucking wolves. You could feel your body slipping, mind becoming hazy as you struggled to stay up. A numbness lay in wait as you forced yourself to stay alert.

The wolf suspended in time as it heard the call of the other, before a larger beast jumped from the shadows, canine teeth bared in an uncontrollable growl of dominance.

Your mind turned to chaos in the darkness of the night before the moonlight took over. You slipped from consciousness just as the other wolf sank its’ teeth into your attacker’s neck.

***

The heavy sound of footsteps thudding against floorboards was enough to send your eyes snapping open, back straightening up in a tremor of adrenaline. A strangled gasp croaked through your clogged throat, like a hand squeezing your voice out with it’s clenching fingers. You felt a twinge of pain in your left leg, twisting your body up in a taut stretch. The source of the noise, a young man taller than most, was visibly startled. He turned his head towards you, relief flooding his features as he rushes to your side.

It’s then that you finally take in your surroundings. Streams of sunlight bundle through the bedroom and your body is encapsulated with the smooth linen. Your legs were free of your usually constricting jeans, and an oversized, white shirt engulfed your body in waves. The room was a decent size, larger than your small apartment room, with a window seat and stacks and stacks of books covering every nook and cranny.

The man’s fingers reach out towards you in earnest worry but stop just short of actually touching you, as if you are a priceless artefact he is too scared to break.

Your breath caught in your chest, blood rushing through your body as your eyes lifted to meet his.

He had the kind of face that would stop people in their tracks. A chiselled jawline and an aristocratic nose, a smile that sent you to an early grave because of his prominent dimples. Two deep sun rays embedded into cheeks, brightening his sun-kissed face to rival Apollo’s golden statue. Noir, hooded eyes blinked in your direction, worry stained in them as they travelled around your face in search of discomfort or pain. He breathed out a sigh of relief as you pulled yourself up, a warm smile splitting across his face.

“You’re awake. Thank god, I was just about to call Jin hyung.” His voice was thick and smooth, like velvet chocolate or hot morning coffee and was flooded with relief. The smile didn’t leave his lips and you could feel your heart thrum rapidly against the confinements of your chest.

“Who, who are you?” Your voice was rough and grainy, harsh against your throat. “Where am I? What happened?”

The man rested his hands on the bed, before sending you a dimpled, reassuring smile. “My name’s Namjoon. I-I found you in the woods last night.” His forehead crinkled in worry, as he sat at the foot of the bed. “You leg was bleeding a lot.”

Memories from last night erupted through your mind. “There were two of them! Oh my god, they attacked me. I almost-” You gasped out, panicking.

Namjoon rushed forward towards you, hands wrapping around your arms hesitantly as if waiting for your permission. When you seemed to sink into his warmth, he pulled you closer to him, wrapping you closer into his embrace.

“It’s fine,” He whispered. “You’re safe. You’re safe.”

Fear still pricked you as the emotions from last night replayed in your mind. Your fingers unconsciously tightened on Namjoon’s shirt as you hid your face in the crook of his neck, seeking something. Safety. Security. Namjoon’s hand left your side and instead rose to the top of your head, detangling your hair with the soft touch of his fingers. “You’re safe now.” The feeling that filled you was too intimate, an intensity that should not be experienced between two strangers.

“Namjoon-” The creak of the door startled you, your hand raising to grip Namjoon’s shirt tighter. Namjoon’s reacted swift, pushing you behind him in an act of protection. His body tensed before another face popped his head around the door.

Namjoon visibly relaxed, turning around to you. “Are you okay?” He whispered, hand reaching out to touch your wrist. You nodded your head, a hand resting on your chest to calm your panicked heart.

“Jin hyung,” Namjoon rose from the bed turning towards the other person. You sole attention was now on the other stranger. He too was almost inhumanly handsome like an old golden Hollywood actor, beautifully thick lips and star-studded eyes.

“I’m Jin,” He nodded towards you, sending you a soft smile. “What’s yours?”

You whispered your name, fingers clawing at the sheets that pooled around you. Namjoon repeated your name, lips rolling around each letter as if they were a spell. He never let his dimpled smile leave your gaze.

“Is it okay if I check your leg? I might not be a doctor yet, but it’s better than nothing until you can actually see someone, right?” Jin let out a short laugh, cheery like a child’s giggle.

“Not yet?” You asked. Jin sent you a lopsided smile. “I’m in my fourth year of med school. You’re lucky I’d just got back from placement when Namjoon rang me like a madman crying about you being attacked.”

“I didn’t cry,” Namjoon mumbled, eyes drawn together as he glared at the older man. He moved to the opposite side of the room, towards a window seat, as Jin took his place.

Jin let out a crooked laugh, placing a large first aid box on top of the bed. He motioned towards you with such an earnest smile that you felt obliged to lift your leg up. It wasn’t until then that you felt the twinge of affliction bubble through you.

“Ow.” You groaned in surprise, fingers reaching down towards the pain in your left leg. It was bruised in varying degrees of violets and coal blue, with a white bandage coiled around, seeping a dark scarlet.

“Let me clean this up, okay?” Jin had turned into medic-mode, swiftly cutting through the seams of the bandage. You didn’t notice the way Namjoon would flinch every time you winced as Jin began to cleanse your wound.

“There’s nothing to worry about,” Jin reassured. “It looks a lot worse because of all the blood, it’s a superficial scratch, not too deep. I’d get it checked out at the hospital or the college’s health clinic because it looks like an animal scratch, but it’s not infected and you don’t have a fever.”

You thanked him as he wrapped your leg in a gauze. Namjoon’s eyes were trained on Jin’s every movement. “What time is it?”

“It’s five in the morning, the sun just rose,” Namjoon answered. “If you feel well enough, I can walk you back to campus?”

Your eyes followed the way his mouth formed the words, but they were trained solely on his cherry blossom pink lips.

Namjoon called your name, voice snapping you out of your trance. His lips twisted into something other than the sweet smile he had shown you before. A smirk drenched in danger. Fuck, he had caught you staring.

Snapping your eyes away, you twisted your hands around the sheets beneath you in embarrassment. “That would be lovely, thank you.”

“Well, then that’s sorted.” Jin sent you a kind smile. “I don’t know about any of you, but I’m exhausted. I have some afternoon classes and then another night shift at the hospital so I think I’ll squeeze in a nap if I can.”

He cleaned the mess he had made fixing you, discarding soiled bandages and empty packets of gauzes into an adjacent bin. “It was nice to meet you Y/N. Don’t forget to get it checked out, alright? Wouldn’t want all my hard work go to waste.” He grinned a cheeky smile, before tapping Namjoon on the back, what seemed like a silent conversation flowing between them.

Jin left with a wave of goodbye, leaving you alone with Namjoon. The air between the two of you seemed electric, burning with unsaid words.

“Thank you.” You broke the silence. “For saving me.”

He shook his head, dimples blurring your vision. “It’s fine. You shouldn’t walk home on your own at night though. Anything could happen, like being attacked by wolves.” Your voices joined in a unified laugh, his husky laugh ringing like music to your ears.

You pushed yourself off the bed, standing shakily on your two legs. Taking a tentative step forward, you winced at the twinge of discomfort that followed. Namjoon seemed to notice as his hand came to rest around your elbow in support.

“Careful.” He was far too close, and you realised, a head taller than you. Your head reached the middle of his chest, nose bumping against it as you tried to stabilise your movements.

“Sorry,” You mumbled, thankful for his grip on your arm as you limped forward. “Do-Do you think I could borrow some trousers?”

Namjoon had the decency to blush, but you noticed the way his eyes followed the delicate curve of your small legs. “Ye-yeah, hold on.” He stuttered, hands leaving yours to rummage in a large drawer.

He pulled out grey sweatpants, far too long for your short height. “Here.” An uncharacteristic giggle left your lips as he turned on his heel, back facing you as you grappled shoving your injured leg into the trouser hole.

“I’m done now, thanks.” He turned around again, eyes darkened. A soft, dimpled smile slipped across his face, a dusting of pastel stars across the plums of his cheeks.

His house was larger than any other student accommodation you had seen, but you guessed it made sense if more than two people lived there. From the window of his room, you could see that it was surrounded by acres of woodland, its’ own picturesque cottage surrounded by cobbled pathways leading away into the forest.

“Let’s go?” Namjoon turned you towards the door, hands braced around your elbow as your body relaxed under the safety of his warmth.

It’s not until you're in the warmth of your bed, filled to the brim with water and anti-inflammatory antibiotics that make you sleep, that you realise you never told Namjoon about the wolves.

***

Life went on as normal as you thought it could, your wound had healed in a matter of hours after Namjoon had dropped you off at home. There would have been no remnants of the night if not for the harsh pink scar of two pink lines running at the back of your left leg. You had gone straight away campus police, who sent out animal control through the woods. They found your tattered cardigan and shoulder bag, both ruined beyond use. You couldn’t salvage the drenched notebooks inside, meaning you had to take off shifts from work to finish rewriting all of your lost notes. Mr Song was more than accommodating, glaring at you in a grandfatherly fashion if you so much as deployed any sort of physical exertion.

Namjoon had been the silver lining in the event, his presence becoming a burst of constant sunshine in your previously cloudy life. When you were well enough to return to work, Namjoon had followed, taking it upon himself to walk you home after every shift. A month had passed since the events in the woods but Namjoon’s presence in your life was as strong as the glaring summer sun.

It was strange to be seen walking around with him. Some of the classmates you were friendly with mentioned how big of a deal he was at the University. He was head of the Debating Society, a philosopher that had girls hooked with his intellect. Yet he decided to choose to spend time with you.

There were rumours about his house as well, and the flatmates that shared it. It turned out that Jin, despite being a fourth-year medical student and clearly being apt at the job, had familial connections with the Board of Education for the college. As such, he and his six roommates, which included Namjoon, were given the cottage grounds in the forests away from the bustle of the campus but close enough to be able to attend.

The rumours ranged from the ordinary to the fantastical. Apparently, the rise in wolf sightings had only occurred after they had moved into the cottage, but you along with the rest of the student population believed it to be a funny story to use to joke around with them.

The more you spent with Namjoon, the more your life became encompassed with the six other boys he lived with. The rumours were proven to be wrong. They were all varying degrees of colours that you didn’t know how they could all survive under one roof, but they somehow made it work. Jin had become an older brother, cracking dad jokes and making life a little more cheerful. Yoongi was a mystery to you at first, but soon became you one of your closets confidence, the two of you have an understanding of the need for silence sometimes. And Hoseok, god Hoseok was a piece of dynamite, always leaving you with your sides splitting whenever he and Jimin teamed up to make you laugh. Jungkook reminded you of your own younger brother, you held such a soft spot for the boy with the cheeky grin who made dirty jokes at Namjoon’s expense. And then there was Jimin and Taehyung, the same-aged friends that invited you into their little group of 95-liners, and you felt complete. And it was all thanks to Namjoon who had broken you out of your shell, step by step.

Mr Song had taken a clear liking to the boy, seeing the effect he had on you.

“Son,” Mr Song had interrupted the two of you on one of your Thursday shifts, resting his hand on Namjoon’s shoulder. “Why don’t you take this one to the coffee shop down the street? She’s been working way too hard and the semester is almost over.”

You let out a fraudulent laugh, eyes turning to slits as you glared at your boss. “What are you talking about Mr Song, I still have an hour left of my shift.” Fuck, this old man was trying to set you up.

Mr Song actually rolled his eyes. “The library is dead because one of the fraternity houses are pulling a party, oh so I hear.” You forgot that Mr Song was the undisputed University grandfather. Everyone told him everything and he always had an unhealthy supply of chocolates for those midnight study snacks.

“We could go,” Namjoon interrupted you. “You know- if you want to that is! It’s completely fine if you don’t want to-”

“No, no, I’d love to go for coffee!” You winced at how much of a mess the two of you were, bumbling over each other’s words. In Namjoon it was adorable, with you the embarrassment swamped like a wave of regret.

Mr Song grinned, leaving the two of you tripping over each other’s words, shades of cherry blossom pink and blush red.

You had thought the not-a-date coffee date would be awkward. But Namjoon had this incredible way of making you feel so comfortable. He didn’t drain you. In fact, you began to crave his presence when he was gone. His witty banters gave you such a high, and his smiles would make any bad day infinitely better. Fuck, you think you were obsessed with his dimples.

There was an undeniable companionship that had begun between you and Namjoon. He was so otherworldly, like a hero in a story. He was giggles and dimpled smiles, warm coffees with extra cream and beige sweaters. The more time you spent with him, the more you became enamoured.

It was little things that caught your attention. The way he always leaned down so you were closer together when you spoke, bending his tall frame so you wouldn’t strain yourself. The way that he was so obviously interested in what you had to say about your art, asking so many questions and being generally enthusiastic made your heart melt. The way his dimples would become so much more prominent when he talked about his roommates, who were more like family than friends and who had taken you in as one of their own. You loved the way his eyes would brighten when he talked about a new book he had started reading or the way he would sometimes wear spectacles that would make his noir eyes so deeper.

The coffee date made you wonder if maybe things could be different. You knew that by now you were deeply infatuated with him. You just needed to know when to, if to, confess.

He was so jittery throughout the date, an adorable blend of nerves and sweetness that you just couldn’t help but hope. But when he dropped you off at your apartment, he left without so much as a hug, and the pit inside you that had been so full with your boys pricked in your stomach like a starving dog tied to a leash, whimpering for more.

***

You knew something was wrong when Taehyung comes to pick you up suddenly after your Friday shift.

Namjoon hadn’t contacted you in almost a week. There was static between the pain, unresponded texts leading to unresponded calls. You contemplated whether to just go to the boys’ shared house but worry at imposing them stopped you.

He smiled at you, looking up from his phone as you nudged him on his side. “Where’s Joonie?”

Taehyung pouted. “Is he all you think about? You didn’t even say hi to me!”

“Hello there, Tae.” You let out a small giggle, ruffling his hair. “But seriously, where’s is he? He hasn’t replied to my texts.” You tried not to let the desperation stifle you.

Taehyung carried your bag in the same way Namjoon did, one strap was thrown over his shoulder. “He has a fever, been sleeping all day. He woke up an hour ago and demanded that I walk you home from work otherwise he’ll tell Jin I was the one who almost burnt down the kitchen.”

You laughed at Taehyung’s obvious sulky attitude, nudging him in the side. But it didn’t stop the pang of worry to twist in your gut. “Is he okay though? Is he drinking lots of water? Is Jin looking after him?”

“Woah, calm down.” Taehyung grinned. “Too many questions to answer all at once. One and two, yes he’s fine, it’s just a fever and he is drinking plenty of water, three, Jin is currently at his bedside waiting on his majesty’s hand as we speak.”

With your mind eased a little, the two of you fell in a comfortable silence as you walked the long way to your apartment. You stayed well away from the path through the woods after your encounter with the wolves, and animal sightings had gone down since.

“So, how is your project going?” Taehyung asked, turning your thoughts away from Namjoon.

Your growl of frustration answered his question as he let out a chuckle at your expense. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me! This project is literally god-sent but my mind is refusing to give me a fucking break.”

“What’s the assignment?” Taehyung, despite studying to be a paediatrician, was as invested in art as you were. It was one of the many things the two of you bonded over.

“Predators and Prey. Every time I try to draw or research ideas I come up blank. I have no idea what method to use, if I should go for the modernist approach or abstract, or if I should sculpt or paint something. The assignment’s too vague and lenient, it makes me feel like I’m drowning under all the choices!” You whined. “And if that’s not enough, this will be the final piece of the term and the best pieces get to be used in the Art Exhibition that’s happening in the museum next month and I need the extra credit that it’ll bring.”

Taehyung seemed to realise that you didn’t want an answer, just someone to rant to. This was usually Namjoon’s job, but with his absence, you realised how much of your time had been taken up by him. He would calm you down, send you in the right direction. Your lack of friends became all the more prominent.

Taehyung noticed you trail off in thought, eyes wandering down to follow the steps of your scratched flats against the stone pavement. He poked your arm. “What’s wrong, buttercup?”

“I guess I’m just worried.” You sent him a small smile, hoping he wouldn’t worry about you. Taehyung linked your arms together, as you reached your apartment complex.

“Don’t stress too much. Namjoon hyung would kill me.” He grinned cheekily. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Tell Namjoon oppa to feel better.” You waved at him, already pushing the elevator button to your floor. “And tell him he better reply to my texts otherwise he’s a dead man!”

“Being apart from you, he already is!” You didn’t understand Taehyung’s words, but a blush flushed your cheeks. Did that mean what you thought it did? The doors closed as Taehyung’s boxed smile faded from your view. Pulling out your phone, you fingers hovered over Namjoon’s icon before you quickly typed out a message.

Taehyung just told me you're sick. Don’t be in too much pain. Call me when you’re feeling better

***

The sharp shrill of your phone disrupted the silence of your room, a rude awakening from your slumber. With a lamenting groan, you grabbed the abhorrent device, bleary eyes attempting to adjust to your phone’s harsh light. Jin’s face blared out to you in an emergency shrill, and you swiftly swiped to answer.

“Jin, what’s going on? “Why are you waking me up at… three in the morning? Jin, why the hell are you calling?” You growled.

“There’s a problem with Namjoon,” His voice was rushed, uneasy, agitated.

Your stomach dropped. “What’s wrong?”

“You need to come now. I’ll explain it when you come, but please hurry.”

You were already out of your house, shoving on your coat jacket and slippers. “Is he okay? Jin, please tell me is he okay?”

“He needs you. Just come quickly please.”

“I’m on my way now. I’ll be there in five minutes! Just, tell him I’m coming!”

Namjoon was sick. It was as if you had swallowed a knife, pain stabbing in your stomach. The pit inside your stomach had hallowed out, now filling you with such fear it could swallow your whole body. You needed to get to Namjoon.

Your body moved on auto-pilot, running out of your apartment complex and back through the parking lot towards. The quickest way to Namjoon’s cottage was the woods, it was in between your apartment and the campus. A sense of apprehension rose in your throat but was quickly slammed down by the anxiety of Namjoon’s status. Swallowing your fear, you pushed forward, steps turning into large steeds until you were running through the woods, towards him, towards Namjoon.

Jin was waiting for you outside the cottage, as you heaved with deep breaths. “Where is he?” You shoved past Jin, pushing your way into the house. The entryway was consumed in darkness, the other boys nowhere in sight.

Jin grabbed your hand. stopping you from running up the stairs to look for him. “We can’t calm down his heat, I don’t know what else I can do.”

“Heat? What’s going on? If it’s so serious, why haven’t you called the ambulance?” You were still running from the adrenaline of your run, heavy gasps between each of your words. From upstairs you could hear a heavy thud.

“Stop, listen to me please.” He begged. “Fuck, there’s things Namjoon was supposed to tell you, but this wasn’t meant to happen so quickly. But he’s in so much pain and the boys and I can’t take it anymore. We need your help.”

“Oppa, you’re really scaring me right now.” You never called him by the honorific before, being a foreigner it didn’t feel right for you to use it. It slipped out. From upstairs, a loud shout of anger or pain thrashed through the house. It was unmistakably Namjoon.

“Oh my god.” You ran towards the stairs, before Jin’s arms clamped against your waist, pulling you away. “Let go! He might be hurt!”

“You need to let me explain! He’ll do something he’ll regret. Just listen to me!” The pit in your stomach pulsed in pain and you hunched over, dread filling you. You fell limp in Jin’s arms as he pulled you away from the stairs.

“We… we’re not what you think we are. Do you remember the day that Namjoon found you in the woods a month ago?”

“Why does that have anything to do-”

“It has everything to do with it, Y/N!” Jin's hands fell to his side as he released you. “What did you see, what did you actually see?”

“Two wolves attacked me.”

“Think clearer, Y/N. What happened?”

You didn’t want to remember, didn’t want to think about what had happened. Your thoughts were of Namjoon sick, in pain.

“Y/N come on, I know you remember. You know.”

“There was this wolf,” You took a deep breath, hands clenched together. “It attacked me and then another wolf came and I passed out.”

“What did that wolf look like? Y/N, come on.”

“It was huge.” You whispered. “Twice my size. And it had this… this obsidian fur, sleek and thick.” You voice choked in your throat, mind coming to a realisation. “It… it attacked the other wolf. I remember, it, it saved me.”

“That’s right. He saved you. He… protects you, wants you safe.” You were heaving, taking in huge gasps of air.

“You said ‘he’. Why would you say ‘he’?”

“You’re a smart girl, Y/N. How did Namjoon find you when you were so far along the path? Why does he walk you home after your shift?”

Your thoughts betrayed your common sense. Why did he know it was wolves who attacked me when you didn’t mention it to him at all?

“This isn’t possible Jin, this isn’t… this isn’t real!”

“Y/N please, you know it is. You’ve heard the rumours, the legends.” Werewolf, the voice inside of you whispered. He’s the wolf that saved you.

You closed your eyes, picking at your nails. “Where’s Namjoon? What’s heat?”

“A heat is the time when wolves’ bodies are forced into a mating state, once a year in the winter, male unmated wolves go through the cycle for a few days whereas female wolves go through it every month, like a period, except the symptoms mean that they have an unrelenting desire to mate and conceive. It’s a body’s natural system of ensuring reproduction. Because of this, if a wolf meets their mate, then they’re forced into heat.”

“So what, he’s horny? That’s what’s making him sick?” Your disbelief was palpable.

“It’s more than that Y/N. Namjoon’s heat came out of nowhere, it’s been induced. It’s the middle of spring and his heat, it’s too strong. He won’t, can’t, eat or drink anything. This isn’t something that’ll go away because it’s been building up since he saved you in the woods.”

Your mind felt heavy from the revelation. You wanted to run away. But the thought of Namjoon in pain made your insides physically hurt. “What- what do I do? How can I help?”

“You don’t have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. The younger boys have left the house because it’s too hard for them to be surrounded by the pheromones, Yoongi and Hoseok have gone with them to keep them safe. I’ve stayed back to help Joon, but since Taehyung came home after dropping you off he’s refused to eat or drink anything. You don’t have to do much Y/N, just try and get him to drink some water? Please. That’s all I’m asking you. If he does anything or makes you feel uncomfortable in any way, I’m here. I won’t let him hurt you. You can walk out now if you want to, but I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what else to do to help him.”

Your teeth sunk down in anxiety, “I just need to get him to drink water, right? Stay with him until his body flushes the heat out of his system?”

Jin nodded in understanding. “That’s all you have to do.”

“Is he in his room?” You ask, turning towards the stairs. Jin followed you this time, pushing you up the stairs. “Yes, he hasn’t moved since last Thursday. Namjoon will kill me when he realises I’ve dragged you into this but I don’t know what else to do.”

Taking a heavy breath, your hands wrapped around the doorknob of Namjoon’s bedroom. “It’ll be best if I didn't come in with you. He’s… well, let’s just say the scent of you on Taehyung made things a lot worse.”

Jin’s hand rested on your shoulder, giving you a squeeze of encouragement. “Call if you need me, I’ll be right outside.”

Nodding, you took another deep breath, before pushing the door wide open.

Nothing could really prepare you for the sight in front of you.

Ropes constrained his hands to the headboard, and his body was laden with glistening sweat, bare to your eyes. A thin silk blanket covered his lower half, but his body convulsed within itself, twisting around in its’ sheets. He was fucked out. Gone was your sweet, dimpled Namjoon.

In his place was a beast. His dark hair was matted against his forehead, as his face squeezed in pain. He was trembling, perspiration slipping in beads of crystallized sweat.

“Namjoon.” You gasped out.

He froze, body turning taut. You rushed to his side, fingers reaching out before you stopped yourself from touching him. “Are you okay? Does it hurt anywhere? Should I go get Jin?”

An earth-shattering growl ripped through his mouth, so deep it ran through your body in electric waves. “Don’t say his name.” He spewed between clenched teeth. “Fuck, you smell like him. Why do you smell like him?” The animosity in his voice surprised you.

“Namjoon.” He shook his head heavily at the sound of your voice, closing his eyes as he listened to your voice. “You shouldn’t be here. It’s dangerous.”

Your fingers raised up to his forehead on your own accord, brushing away his tangled hair so you could look into his eyes. He met your gaze with such burning emotion, you felt the heat rise up in your stomach. “Your burning up. Let me help me.”

Rushing to his bathroom, you found a small washcloth, and rinsing it under the tap you returned as quick as you could. Namjoon hadn’t moved, eyes following your every movement. Hesitantly, you began to wipe away his sweat. Namjoon almost moaned at the contact. “Y/N, stop. I might hurt you.”

“Shut the fuck up Namjoon.” You glared at him. “You’ve ignored me for a whole fucking week because you're horny? Why didn’t you just get it out of your system instead of letting it get to this stage?”

Namjoon’s face took on a pallid sheen. “What did Jin tell you?”

You bit your lip, watching as Namjoon’s eyes followed the sink of your teeth into your delectable muscles. You saw the hunger in his eyes, blood rushing to your cheeks. “I know it was you. The wolf that saved me. You’re not going to hurt me Namjoon.”

“Y/N.” His voice had turned to a whimper. “I didn’t want you to find out like this. I-I’m sorry.”

You smiled at him. “You’re way too sweet for your own good, Joonie.” Your hands raised to carry on wiping his body, moving from patting his forehead to swiping at the thick expanse of his neck and collarbone.

“Fuck, love, please stop.” He groaned.

“What is it, where does it hurt?” The endearment did not escape your notice. Your heart thudded against your chest.

He shook his head. “You need to go before I do something I regret.” His eyes were wild, dark with want, with need.

“I want to help you, Joon. Please, I don’t want to see you in pain.”

“You don’t you get it! There’s a reason I’m tied up! You’ve made me want you so badly, you’d always wear these fucking short dresses around me that would be so easy for me to bunch them up and take you against the shelves. God, I can smell you sometimes when you’ve pleasured yourself, your cum smells so delicious, I bet you’d taste so sweet. Your voice would sound like music when I’d sink my teeth in that delectable neck of yours, and I’d fill you to the brim until your full of my cum. You’re perfect for me, made for me, and I for you. I want you. I need you”

Your breath caught in your throat, deep, hot-blooded pleasure flooding through you at Namjoon’s dark voice. Your thighs clung together, but not before Namjoon let out a long wail of desire.

“Fuck Y/N! I can smell you, fuck baby you smell so sweet.” He threw his head back against the headboard, a deep groan rumbling out of his throat. “Love, you need to leave now, or else I’ll lose control. Please.”

“Namjoon, look at me.” You pushed yourself so you were straddling his legs, arms on either side of his torso as you looked up, determination flooding you. “I am not leaving you. It hurts to see you like this, it hurts to see you in pain. Let me help you.” You repeated. You raise your hand to the sides of his face, bum settling on the tops of his thigh. You could feel him freezing beneath you, eyes turned to stare into your own.

“I like you.” You confessed. “I really, really like you.”

With a loud cry, lips collided with yours in a crash of lust, teeth digging into your bottom lip to pull you forward, closer to him. He swallowed the moan that broke through your throat, body shifting forward in the restraints.

“Fuck, Joon.” You gasped out for breath. Namjoon reached forward for more of you, lips running down the expanse of your neck. You whimpered as his teeth sunk in small bites, tongue slipping out to lap at the bruise.

“More,” He groaned. “I need more.” His hands pulled at the ropes restraining him in anger, power radiating him as he growled. “Love, undo them.”

Hands shaking, you reached for the knots, tugging to try and untie them. “Shit, who tied these ropes?” No matter how much you twisted and pulled at them, they wouldn’t undo. It didn’t help that Namjoon had returned to pressing fevered kisses along your collarbone, making your hands tremble. “I can’t get them undone, Namjoon. What do I do?”

“Take off your shirt.” Just as you reached down to pull off your nightshirt, you heard the telltale sound of footsteps running down the stairs and the front door slamming shut.

“Was that Jin?” You realised your mistake once you gazed into Namjoon’s dark, hooded eyes.

“Didn’t I tell you not to say his name, baby?”

Your throat seemed to close at the dominance in his tone. In a bid to appease his jealousy, you hurriedly pulled off your nightshirt.

He groaned at the sight, forgetting your slip as of now. In your haste to reach Namjoon’s house, you had forgotten to put on a bra. You bare breasts were exposed to Namjoon’s lustful eyes. He whined out, nudging you forward with his legs. You charged forward, legs coming up to wrap around his waist as he pulled himself into a sitting position. A moan ripped through you as your chest came in contact with his, the contact setting your skin alight with electricity.

You hips jerked, coming into contact with something that hard and thick. Pleasure jolted your lower regions, and Namjoon’s head bumped forward, foreheads touching. His lips puckered around your breast, tongue rolling around one of your buds as you let out a long cry of his name.

“Namjoon, please.” Your hips began to move in a steady motion, picking up in speed as licks of heat flashed into you. “Give me more.”

“Fuck, baby. If you keep doing that, I won’t last.” His teeth sunk down, your mind turning white as hot pleasure filled you. Your hands ran up the back of his neck, looking for anything to keep you up before you fingers gripped the soft grains of his dark hair tightly. You took your time travelling down his back, loving the way his mouth parted around your breast in heavy whimpers at your hands’ ministrations, before the reached forward, slipping down to come in contact with his clothed member. His loud moan was deep and husky, head rearing away from your breast as his eyes closed.

You gripped him tighter, hands reaching forward for more, more, more.

“What do I do Namjoon?” You began to press shy kisses down his collarbone. “Tell me what to do.”

“Shit, baby.” His gravelly voice echoed across the room. “I need to fill you up.”

You groaned at his heavy words, hands tightening around his thick length. “Take off your shorts.” You raised yourself up, hands leaving his member to pull down your sleeping shorts and underwear in one swift moment.

“That’s it, baby. Leave yourself bare to my eyes only.” His words were making your headlight, filled with only thoughts of his kisses. You sank back down on his member in one strong thrust. Your high cry made harmony with his raspy groan, as your hips moved together in synchronised thrusts.

His thick lips were back on your neck as your hands moved back to his boxer, slipping them as low as you could reach. Your hands came in contact with his bare member and you let out another loud wail as you pulled it out. It was thicker than you expected, and you couldn’t help your hands from gripping on the top a bit too tightly.

Namjoon winced, lips parting in short gasps against the soft tract of your neck. “Baby, I can’t take it anymore.” You nodded, body thrumming with need.

Thighs slick with arousal, you slowly pushed yourself back down into Namjoon’s lap. You could feel the heat of his head slipping into you, warmth gripping your body as you it enveloped you. Namjoon threw his head back in a deafening howl, an animalistic sound that reminded you of the beast inside of him. The pit in your stomach clenched, but instead of the usual emptiness, it began to pulse with ecstasy as Namjoon pushed up inside you.

Your hands left his hips, reaching up to his shoulders as you gripped them in your vice. “Namjoon, more, more,”

At the sound of your voice, Namjoon snapped forward with such ferocity you felt your body jolt up. A feral growl left his lips as he pumped up into you, his arms tensing by its restrained. With a powerful wrench, a loud crack resonated around the room as the headboard gave a feeble cry as Namjoon’s hands ripped from his constraints.

Namjoon’s touch sent you spiralling. It was like another dimension was added, another layer of pleasure bleeding into you. His hands were rough and harsh, gripping and pulling as they seized your hips to pull you even closer. You were enthralled, absorbed in the creature in front of you and the control he had over your body. His hands slipped down your waist to clasp your ass, kneading them with his long fingers to heighten the elation that ran through your body. Your hands gripped his shoulders, reaching around to grasp his neck tightly as he thrust deeper.

“Namjoon,” You cried out, overwhelmed by his scent, his touch. He was all you could see, all you could feel. You didn’t think you could last longer, couldn’t feel any more full than when he ground into you. He was so thick, so warm. “I want all of you inside me, all of it.”

You could feel your ecstasy rising, a euphoric paradise between your two souls. “I’m going to fill you so good, love. You’ll look so beautiful rounded with my seed that’ll grow into my pups, my beautiful mate. My love.”

“You are mine and I am yours.” With a commanding snarl, his teeth sunk into your fragile, human neck. You exploded with a cry, your pit filling with Namjoon’s essence, brimful of his love. He whispered sweet nothings into your ears and urging you further and further into your pleasure. Your whimpers fuelled him, one of his hands came to grip your leg that was wrapped around his waist, lifting it higher and hitting inside you deeper and deeper.

He reached his high when you began to murmur his name over and over again, drilling into you to prolong his bliss. Snapping forward, he pulled your lips to his in a harsh kiss, tongue slipping past to smother you in love. He began to still at your whines, your head lulling into the crook of his neck in exhaustion. He fell backwards lethargically, hands raising from your hips to the small of your back.

With a sweaty kiss to your forehead, he started to lap at the bite on your neck. You legs fell to his side, too weak to hold on as he slipped out of you. His hands ran up the sides of your body, before resting on either side of your neck as he raised his gaze to yours. Cedar eyes held your gaze with such warmth you didn’t notice as he slipped out of you, your combined love escaping your grasp to cover the banks of your thighs.

“I like you too.” Your Namjoon had returned, dimpled smile and all as he grinned down up at you. “I-I think I might love you.”

You felt cherry-blossom blush shuffle across the apples of your cheeks. A soft laugh left his lips as he leaned down, full lips engulfing yours in a sweet kiss.

You hummed in response, blossoming in the aftercare of his confession. He twisted you around so you lay on his side, a petty frown marring his face as he watched the rest of his cum leave your body. Your fingers reached up to trace his lips, a giggle rumbling through your body and the sudden switch in the atmosphere. You pulled your arms around his neck to try and pull him down, wanting to cuddle longer.

“Let me take care of you now.” He kissed the soft skin underneath your jaw, as you pouted up at him. He beamed down at you, before reaching around for the discarded washcloth and began to clean between your legs. He kissed your cheek in apology when you squirmed at the oversensitivity, before throwing the washcloth to the ground and pulling you into his chest.

You legs entwined with him as you rested your head in the safety of his neck. “So, what does this mean? Between us?”

His arms wrapped around you tightly, as if scared you would disappear. “You’re my mate, I knew when I saved you in the forest. But you have a choice. I would never force you into something you didn’t have a choice in.”

Your hands raised to reach the soft patter of his heartbeat, curling closer to his body. “I want to try, with you. I think I’ve liked you ever since I woke up in your bed.” You grinned cheekily up at him at the insinuation. His hand came down to swipe your bare bottom, and you yelped at the sensation.

His dimpled smile set your heart on fire. “I want to try too. Thank you, for saving me.”

You laughed at him. “We saved each other, I guess.”

***

The morning came with the feeling of warmth pooling between your legs. With a sleepy moan, you felt the graze of warm sunlight shuffle around your body as you roused from your heavy slumber. A pleasant brush pushing your thighs slowly apart woke you to what was going on.

“Namjoon,” You gasped out, voice husky from sleep. He was hidden from your sight, underneath the covers of the bed. You could feel him whimper against your legs, groans of pleasure as your voice rumbled through his body. Soft kisses were pressed against your inner thighs, and despite the sleep-induced haze you were suffering, your body responded on its own by spreading your legs open wider.

“Joon,” You called out his name again when you felt the warmth of his breath reach higher to your sensitive parts.

Your hands slipped under the sheets, gripping his thick hair as he kissed when you so desperately needed him to kiss. His tongue slipped out as a soft moan left your lips before he dived in with such resolute need you felt the tips of your toes curl with pleasure. Your back arched forward, wincing as the residue of last night’s events hit your strained body. The combination of the pain and pleasure heightened the feeling of Namjoon between your legs, his hands coming up to cup your behind and pull your forward, deeper into his sinful mouth. A finger came to join his wicked tongue, flooding you with such pleasure you bounded up, a low moan rushing out of your mouth.

Euphoria flooded you as you came undone on his tongue within seconds, hands gripping his hair to pull him closer as he lapped you up. With one last drink, you felt him pull away as you tapped his chin, stabs of oversensitivity pinching you.

Hands still gripping his hair, you pulled away the blanket to see him rested on the tops of your thighs, lips glistening with your sweet essence. The sight would forever be ingrained in your mind. He grinned up at you, tongue sweeping out to lick his lips. Your body was flushed, red from his caresses.

Your hands rested on his head, running through his soft hair as you tried to calm your breathing. “What was that for?”

He pushed himself up, placing soft kisses along the stretch of your stomach, rising up between the valley of your breasts to reach his mark. “Because I love you.”

You felt yourself break out into a content smile, the sound of his confession music to your ears. As the sun filtered through his bedroom, the need to keep that heavenly smile on his face filled you.

Your hands reached the nape of his neck, as your left leg latched around his waist. You hauled him down, hands coming up to grip his shoulders as you pulled him down in a fervent kiss. He groaned out as you bit down on his lips, hands reaching out to pull you closer.

Reaching down, you felt his length harden in your hand as you pumped him closer, his soft rapturous groans urging you on. When he slipped into you, you warmed in his hold, in his love.

Hours later, as he two of you lay in each other’s embrace, his hand lay entwined with yours. Your body caved around his galaxy-heavy kisses, his storm-like hold. In the emptiness of your body, he filled it with his love.

#namjoon x reader #bangtanarmynet #namjoon #smut #wolf!au #werewolf!namjoon #rm x reader #rm #namjoon x you #rm x you #kim namjoon #bts #werewolf!bts #repost #ttw

685 notes · View notes

chimcess · 8 months

Text

→ Chapter Seven: Growing Pains Pairing: Jimin x Reader Other tags: Werewolf!Jimin, Witch!Reader, Shifter!Reader, Shifter!Jimin, A/B/O Dynamics, Alpha!Jimin Genre: Supernatural!AU, Werewolf!AU, Angst, Mutual Pining, Fluff, Smut, Word Count: 11.6k+ Synopsis: Within the four realms of Lustra lay the Bangtan forest home to the Foxglove pack of the south and known as the “land of magic.” It is also home to the Bridd, a powerful witch from a cursed bloodline who is one of the sacred guardians of the forest. Y/N is the newest Bridd, a young girl who was given her position too early. Now a woman, Y/N is revered amongst the wolves as the most powerful witch they have ever known, but hiding under the surface is a woman who has to battle between her duty and her heart. Warnings: ANGST BB, hurt, argument, sexism, I love/hate Bo, strong language, crying, PTSD, Impulsive decisions, I love Taehyung so much, he is my sweet baby angel, we need better communication skills, mentions of a toxic relationship (not reader and Jimin), Anger issues, mental illness, long hair Jimin for the win, emotional turmoil, conflicting feelings, emotional whiplash, talks of possible character death, let me know if I missed anything A/N: Not me surprising dropping. This was such a difficult chapter to write. I enjoy angst and everything, and this was meant to be the catalyst to the adventure we need to take, but that doesn't mean I like causing pain. Hope you guys like it!

prev | masterlist | next

Bo and I stared at one another. Her jaw was clenched, and I could feel how tense my eyebrows were. We had been in this room for over an hour already and her stupid training was going nowhere. I did not want to learn how to talk to my husband properly. He enjoyed how I was already.

“Why are you making this so difficult?” She spat.

“Because I can,” I taunted.

Her mouth twitched and I waited for her to finally snap. I would like a good fight to get all of my pent up frustration out. Instead, she took another deep breath and told me to point out the proper soup spoon.

“This is the dumbest thing I have ever done in my life,” I mumbled and pointed at the smallest one in the set.

“And you’re the dumbest thing that’s come into mine,” She bit back.

“This is really unnecessary, Bo,” Sol sighed from beside me. “Y/N has better things to do than sit here and look at silverware. None of us even use these anymore.”

I looked at her and hoped she could see how grateful I was she was sitting here with me. When Bo showed up at Jimin’s house this morning, the Luna had followed behind her every step of the way hoping we could put the traditional nonsense behind us. I did not see the point in following their customs more than I already did and Sol herself said no one really cares about certain formalities anymore. Jimin seemed sad to watch me go but more pleased than he let on. Sol said these preparations were meant for our wedding and it made him happy to think about. That was the only reason I was still sitting here.

“I’m sure Oxur Park knows how much Alpha Park loves a woman with knowledge,” The wolf gave me a satisfied smirk. “Unless you’ve decided to take that from him, too.”

Bo had made it her mission to get me out of their palace. Believing I had somehow tricked Jimin into loving me, the wolf had no issue calling our bond into question. Apparently, her outdated beliefs ran much deeper than I had originally thought. Either way, she was beginning to make my life all the more difficult. I had enough going on as it was.

“You are the most infuriating woman I have ever had the displeasure of meeting.”

“And you are the sneakiest little weasel I have ever laid eyes on,” Bo hissed.

“You’re both acting like children,” Sol laughed. “Bo, can’t we go now? I promised my husband alone time with his friend.”

With a satisfied smirk, I leaned back in my chair. Bo was not happy with the girl, but Taehyung’s wishes overruled her own. The perks of being the pack alpha, I guess. I did not wait for Bo’s response before standing up. Sol followed me.

“I expect you in your own room tonight, child.”

I did not respond. Sol giggled and grabbed hold of my arm as we left the palace library. If I had come here on my own, I might have admired the massive shelves and the beautiful wood they were made from, but Bo’s presence ruined whatever joy I might have gotten. She was such a pain to deal with. Knowing my foul mood, Sol began babbling about her and Taehyung’s wedding for the third time today.

“Oh, I wish you could have been there,” She pouted. “Taehyung wanted to wait for you to wake up, but all of us decided it would be in his best interest to hurry along. I hope you’re not upset with us.”

That worked and I cracked a smile.

“How many times do I have to tell you? I’m not upset about it.”

Leaning into my side, the younger girl sighed happily. She always got like this when she spoke of Taehyung. He was akin to God in her eyes now and it was a funny sight to see. She was always so stuck up and stressed when I had known her that this new version of her was strange to see. She laughed and joked with others in a way I had never seen before. Taehyung was the perfect match for the Luna, and I was pleased with how happy they both were despite everything going on.

“You’ll have to forgive Ha-Joon,” Sol waved at a small group of maids. “She’s just always pictured her daughter with Jimin, and her death has brought out the worst in her. Don’t take it too personally, okay?”

“Easy for you to say,” I murmured, “She doesn’t hate you.”

The group of maids stopped to bow. I returned the gesture, but Sol did not. She was never raised to respect her help. Tossing a small smile at the women, my eyes caught a familiar face and warmed. Koda grinned happily back at me.

“Oh!” Sol exclaimed suddenly. “Isn’t this the most coincidental situation?”

Stepping away from my side, the wolf gestured to the group. None of them make eye contact with the Luna. None of them even looked at her face. I could not understand how no one thought this was strange behavior, but it was the status quo. Hopefully I could speak with Taehyung about it. I do not think he would approve of this behavior at all.

“I was speaking with Elder Kim, and we decided that you need a servant,” Sol announced. “This group should do. See anyone you like in particular?”

She was completely serious. Not a shred of doubt or shame was written on her face. Sol was raised with this nonchalant way of ordering others around and it was disturbing to see in action. I would definitely speak to Taehyung. However, I could not deny the perks I saw. Looking at Koda, I knew I would be able to keep her safe as long as I kept her by my side. Giving the women a sympathetic look, I turned to Sol with a mask of indifference.

“If you think it’s necessary,” She smiled brightly. “Koda,” I looked at the older woman, “would you like to help me while I stay here?”

The woman walked to the front of the group. The other maids made space and suddenly none of them looked at me either. It was a horrible feeling and I wondered what they thought of me now. Wanting to make my intentions clear, I kept talking.

“Also, Sol,” I looked at my friend, “I don’t like the word 'servant'.’ Can we use something less… harsh? Like ‘companion?’ I don’t plan on staying here for very long so it just seems too,” I moved my hands and tried to find the softest explanation I could think of, “permanent.”

I was choosing my words carefully. Sol has never had her views challenged much and these women had been at her beck and call her entire life, so it was only natural she thought of them a particular way. I wanted to change her mind, but it would have to start with something small. The other maids seemed to relax, and their eyes wandered freely once more. I never wanted them to feel inferior to me.

“Hmm,” She cupped her chin, “I’ve never thought of that before. I like it.”

Turning her gaze to Koda, she grinned, “You will spend every moment at Oxur Park’s side. Under no circumstances will you leave her, understand?”

“Yes, Luna,” She bowed deeply. “Will I sleep in her chambers?”

“No!” I exclaimed. Flushing, I rubbed the back of my neck and bowed my head. “That won’t be necessary. I will be with Alpha Park during the night.”

Sol laughed heartily, “You’re just breaking all of the rules, aren’t you?”

I awkwardly joined her, “Might as well give her a reason for her dislike, don’t you think?”

Sol immediately dismissed the maids, Koda included, so we could continue our walk. Koda would be joining me tonight for my bath. I cringed at the thought and started to think of ways to talk to her about what I was expecting, or rather, not expecting her to do. I could do everything I needed on my own and had for many years of my life. I saw no need for someone else to bathe, dress, or tuck me in at night. Jimin would be the exception, but he was my partner and had seen me more intimately than others.

Sol continued to talk my ears off as we walked through the palace. I was still unnerved by how easily she commanded her maids. It was creepy. I could not picture Taehyung feeling comfortable by their pampering either, but would he ever say something that would offend his wife? It was difficult to say.

I knew the other alphas had lived in the palace at points in their lives, and from what I had heard, Namjoon was still here full time. Unmated alphas were meant to stay in the palace until they were mated so they could be trained into leaders. Scowling, I thought of Ahn and his thick, white beard and how little help he was to everyone. No one ever spoke of him or his teachings, and Sol did not even seem bothered by her father-figure’s death. It gave me a sick sort of pleasure knowing that no one, possibly not even Bo, thought of him in a good light.

The repairs to the palace were the first to be completed. The elves had focused primarily on the civilian areas, and since the palace was the only place made of stone, the flames that ate away at the wooden homes in the main parts of the village. We had been seeing a great deal of progress in only four days, but there was still much to do. The town’s market was nowhere in sight, and they had only just gotten their water system back up.

“What does Taehyung want to talk about?” I asked.

Sol had started a childhood story involving Ahn that I had no desire to hear.

“I’m not sure exactly,” She admitted, “He said he was hoping you two could go for a walk and catch up. It’s been a while since you’ve been alone.”

I nodded and pretended to listen as she jumped into another childhood story. Sol was a rather clumsy child. Looking at the dark stone, I felt my resentment growing. No one except for Taehyung had left to help the others. Not Kim nor Bo left their comfortable confines to help their community and yet they had time to talk about my manners and which servant I would get? It all seemed ridiculous to me. Even Sol herself was still living in la-la-land within these walls. Had she even seen what was done?

“You must promise to be our first child’s matrina,” Sol was talking about children. Again. Her unusual sense of pessimism was beginning to agitate me. “You are the only person I can think of I would trust with that honor.

“Of course, Jungkook will have to be the patrinus, but I don’t think it will bother Jimin too much. He’s far too much like a brother to ask anybody else. Maybe for our second child? Taehyung would be overjoyed if you were both involved.”

I gritted my teeth and simply nodded along with her stories. Yes, a conversation with Taehyung was a must. Maybe he could make her see reason, or at least show concern for everyone else. At meetings she lounged on him like a cat and never paid attention when they spoke about serious matters. It was like her head was permanently up in the clouds. Had she always been so careless when it came down to things, or was this a new development since she joined Taehyung? I would never know the true extent of the answer, but I had to believe this was new. Sol was too serious before to let this kind of behavior out.

The large, cathedral windows let in the bright sun, but it was still so cold and dark in here. The maids had yet to fix the lighting fixtures inside yet, but even the candles they had lit did nothing to help. Our steps had a faint echo to them, and it made the lifelessness of the palace worse. I felt Sol’s hair brushing against my arm as she made herself comfortable at my side and had to stop myself from moving it out of my way. It was tickling my skin uncomfortably.

Sol let her hair out in the palace unlike any place else. The long, thick, black waves cascading down her back effortlessly, but I knew better now. Someone had spent a great deal of time and care perfecting the way it felt and twisted. Around her neck was the material she used to cover her hair and she would put it on if another man showed up here. It was something Ahn had made her do that made no sense to me either, but Sol was happy about it, so I never thought about it much.

“Koda is a wonderful woman,” Sol suddenly gushed, catching my attention. “You’ll like her very, very much.”

“What makes you say that?” I questioned, feigning disinterest.

“Well,” She started, “She was once a warrior before her sister died. She stopped shifting soon after that and moved into the palace so she could have a place to stay. Her sister’s husband kept their house and Koda was too uncomfortable to live there with him alone.

“Oh! I know she’s from out of town, so you can share many stories about that as well. The people from Viridi Gramine always have the most interesting lives. Take Hyuna for example, she’s the princess of her people and yet gave it all up for a life here with Hoseok. Isn’t it romantic?”

I stopped listening to her once again. It was useful information, and my interest only grew for the older woman. If she was from the Foxglove’s cousin pack that meant she would know a route through the Ozryn mountains. Hiding my revelation, I subtly picked up my pace. The sooner I got this meeting over with, the sooner I could find Cadoc.

“She will be a wonderful companion for you to have,” Sol teased, placing extra emphasis on the chosen word. “I think I’ll start using that one as well. Servant does sound too harsh.”

I smirked in amusement. It was difficult to dislike Sol, especially when it seemed like she was having the most fun she had ever had. I imagined living with someone like Ahn was challenging. Still, her innocence and naivety were so odd when compared to her position in the pack. She was treated like glass that could shatter at any moment while held up as if she were a queen.

We descended down the large staircase in a companionable silence. That was rare for Sol, but I was sure as soon as our feet touched the first floor, she would start her rambling once more. It seemed like luck was on my side, however. Taehyung stood waiting for us, his eyes never leaving Sol’s little body. His happiness was enough to let go of my discomfort for Sol. She would learn in time, and Taehyung would be there to guide her. I would just steer him in the right direction.

The clothes he wore were much nicer than anything I had ever owned. Navy blue silk contrasted beautifully with his tanned skin while the nearly black pants he wore extended his legs. He wore a pair of simple black boots and a matching belt. It was nice to see him so clean and dressed up. Soon we would not have those luxuries.

“Thanks for bringing her, mi conjunx.”

Sol bit her lip and looked down, “Of course, mi coniunx.”

“Bridd,” Taehyung smiled at me, breaking whatever spell he had been under, “May I take you for a small walk alone? I have something I need to discuss with you.”

“That’s why I’m here,” I squeezed Sol’s shoulder and walked down the last few stairs that separated us.

It looked like Taehyung was physically pained to leave Sol’s side, but he showed as much restraint as possible. I heard her feet pitter-pattering back up the steps and Taehyung’s shoulders relaxed. They had spoken and it was still a mystery to me how it worked. I would have to ask Jimin about it later.

We stayed silent until we were out of the palace and walking out of Foxglove entirely. He wanted privacy today, so I waited until he was ready to speak to begin my questioning.

“How are you holding up?” Taehyung asked once we were well hidden within the trees.

I sighed. Cordelia’s passing had affected all of us, and Taehyung was beside himself with grief. He had hardly known her, but he was fond of everyone he met at my cottage. I confided in him about finding her body this morning. He stole me away for a few moments to ask my advice on his plans to invite the witches to stay in the palace, and the sea witch was brought up in conversation. I could tell he would make it a point to ask me about my emotional state whenever he got me alone.

“The etiquette classes have me thoroughly distracted,” I replied sadly.

“And everyone else?”

“About as well as I am,” I muttered. “Wendy is in bad shape, but Seokjin is holding her close. I think they’re back in their confusing situationship again, which saddens me, but I understand. I can only hope it will be different this time.”

In truth, I had little hope. While Wendy may have decided she would choose Seokjin over Yoongi, I was also sure this budding relationship would fizzle out rather quickly. Wendy was once again latching onto the sun witch in a desperate attempt to make herself feel better, and like always, Seokjin would walk through fire to make her smile. I paid close attention to their dynamics, and it was reminiscent of old times. It was not lost on me, her lingering stare at Yoongi’s disabled figure laying on the floor near the fireplace during my short visit yesterday, and it made the pit in my stomach only grow.

Old habits die hard, and Wendy Byrd was too much of a daydreamer to put anything to rest. It made me uncomfortable to witness the same cycle play out once more. It sickened me to know the only reason she was not seeking out Yoongi was the fact that he was getting used to his new reality. One where he could no longer see. Seokjin was as hopelessly hopeful as always and put up those blinders once more. Life in pink so long as Wendy held him close. The front he had put up in my cottage so long ago was forgotten.

“They need to figure it out by themselves,” Taehyung replied. He was always telling me things I knew but I appreciated the sentiment. “I am curious about this sudden need to leave Bangtan.”

As always, Taehyung knew more than he led on. I did not know how he knew of my plans before I spoke to anybody else about them, but I was less surprised than I should have been. Cadoc and I had been completely alone in the forest that night, but if Taehyung was awake when we got back to the palace, he could have easily gotten an earful of whatever we were speaking about. I had learned during our time at my cottage that Taehyung’s sense of hearing was stronger than the other’s while Jimin’s smell and eyesight were almost double of what they should be.

“I should be far more surprised than I am,” I admitted. “You’re always such a nosey little minx, aren’t you?”

Taehyung chuckled with a nod. Nothing got past those eyes. I pondered over what to say to him. He always had a way of taking me by surprise and I knew Cadoc would not be upset with my slip of the tongue. No one would, actually. Looking at my friend, I reminded myself that he was my friend before he was the Alpha everyone else needed him to be. A man who loved to read my mythology books and ask questions about the forest creatures would never dare ask me to stay behind when there were adventures to be seen. I was also aware that he would be afraid of my loyalty.

Cadoc had said I was becoming blinded by it. Loyal to a fault. Jimin and I were still at odds about my trip, but he had become resigned. We both needed for this to happen. For the sake of our friends and family I needed to try. I had failed once already, and I could not fail again.

“Are you going to talk to me about your secrets now?”

“I’m not staying in Bangtan for much longer,” I whispered, knowing he would be able to hear me just fine. “I have a different task. Something important.”

“I had guessed as much,” He laughed, an easy smile on his face. “Jimin is far too distracted, and the Quietus keep whispering to each other,” He stopped walking and turned towards me. “So, Bridd, where are you going?”

Biting my lip, I hesitated. How angry would he be if I told the truth? Angry was a strong word, I conceded. Taehyung was never angry, but I did not think he would be pleased. I was blatantly placing my own life in danger and lying to my mate about it. It was almost enough to make me rethink my choices.

“I need to find someone,” I said, bracing myself for the disappointment that was sure to make itself known soon. “When I died, I saw my aunt in the spirit realm, and she told me that I had to seek out an elemental called Naida.”

Taehyung frowned at me, his concern evident, but not so much so. He was not disappointed, but I could see fear. I could live with that. I was also afraid for my own life, but dwelling on those thoughts would get me nowhere. I had a mission to complete, and I would not be late this time. I would win. I had to. For my own sanity I would go.

“Is Jimin aware of this?”

I shook my head, “Nothing specific. He knows my plan to leave, but with everything so fresh and new I don’t want to worry him needlessly.”

“You are planning on telling him,” He pushed, “Right?”

I nodded, “The plan is to leave at sunset tomorrow. I’ll have more coverage at night just in case there are elf camps in the forest.”

I thought about the elf camp Jimin stalked that first night and shuttered. There were so many of them out there who had not come into the village. It was baffling to me why they would hesitate in their fighting only to move on so quickly. It gave the wolves too much time to plan and strategize and I knew they were not foolish enough to think they had better odds now. The wolves were on guard. The only thing that made sense were allies hiding in our ranks. Allies who were telling them our every move.

“Tell me something,” I dropped my voice even lower. “If I promise you that I will come back with help, will you keep the truth from the others?”

Stopping in his tracks, Taehyung stared at me. Jimin said the two of them had been speaking of a possible traitor and I would hope my friend would understand my perspective. My loyalty to the both of them was all consuming, my love was my life, and I would do whatever it takes to help them. Even if it meant lying to the man I loved more than life itself.

“I can’t keep something like this from him, Y/N,” Taehyung sighed. “You are my friend, but so is Jimin, and you cannot ask me to pick one over the other.”

“Even with the spy?” I challenged.

He looked through me then, his eyes burning a hole into my face searching for something. I don’t think I would ever know what Taehyung saw in me that day, but whatever it was it gave him pause. I had never felt just how strong or large Taehyung was until that moment. His frame towered over mine, his legs long and lanky, and his face impassive. That impenetrable wall that I found so disconcerting.

“Even then,” He smiled at me. “I would never risk your life or Jimin’s friendship. Even if you begged me to keep quiet, I would let him know the moment you were out of my sight.”

And I could not stop my returning grin. This was what I loved most about the boy, his endless love and compassion for others. He played tricks, told jokes, and made my head hurt from his never ending questions, but he also adored me in ways I had never been before. He adored my brain, my thoughts, and my courage.

A memory of us in the cottage came back to me then. The sun had just come up and I had just gotten home. My training with Thelma had been brutal that night and I had hardly done anything, and my emotions were growing, expanding, and becoming harder to manage. Jimin was still asleep, his pale skin beautiful in the sun, and I did not want to disturb his peace.

When I went to the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea, I found Taehyung already up and a book in his lap. We had our typical small talk, a morning just like any other, but once I sat down at the dining table, I found him just watching me. The book was long gone, his face hard, and his eyes observing me. Those eyes that took in everything they possibly could. I wondered then if he knew what I was doing, where I was going, and why. Instead of answering those questions, Taehyung pushed his growing hair out of his eyes and beamed at me.

“I don’t think I’ve ever told you how thankful I am that you’re letting me stay here,” He said.

Tired and worn, I brushed him off like I always had. I was never the one for compliments and did not know what to say, especially with my guilt eating me alive. Taehyung ignored whatever poor attempts I had made to make him stop talking.

“Thank you,” He bowed his head. “I will never forget your kindness or strength. Hell, even your anger! You’re the first person I’d ever seen make Namjoon lose his cool.”

I ignored him and sipped on my tea. I don’t even think I looked at him again. I drank my tea, listened, and hoped Jimin would not wake up. I wanted to sleep in his arms for a while. It made the nightmares more bearable.

“I know you don’t really like this kind of thing,” Taehyung continued to babble. “I know you’re uncomfortable because of the way your hands tremble and your breathing changes. I’m sorry you don’t feel like you deserve my praise, but I want to give it to you anyway.”

“Why?” I rasped, looking out of the large window beside me.

It was the same window a white wolf had come to and asked for help.

“Because you’re hurting right now, and I want you to know it’ll be okay. No matter what happens you will always be my friend, and Jimin will always love you.”

Looking around me now, it was difficult to imagine a more beautiful sight. It had been so long since I last saw the trees in the sun, and it took my breath away. The heat and warmth were never far away but still felt foreign on my skin. It was still as quiet as a mouse out here, but I basked in its beauty regardless. Taehyung’s teeth were blinding, and I needed to squint.

“We’ll always be friends, right?” I asked.

He held up a pinky, “Always.”

I wrapped my finger around his and sighed.

Diving into the story once again, I told Taehyung why I had been distraught during those last few weeks. His reaction, much like the rest of him, was completely different from both Cadoc and Jimin’s. Even the witches had nothing on Taehyung, because as soon as I was finished, Taehyung hugged me and told me he loved me.

“What?” I choked.

“You were so afraid,” He patted the top of my head and pulled away. “You worked so hard for my family and friends. Thank you.”

“But-but,” I spluttered, “I messed up. I didn’t say anything. I got all of those poor people killed. My own friend-”

“But you tried so hard,” Taehyung soothed. “You wore yourself out learning those spells, you spent every single night trying to get better, and kept it all bottled up. How could I be mad at you for that?”

“Because I let you down,” I muttered. “I let everyone down.”

“No, you didn’t,” He chuckled. “When it counted you were there. You killed yourself, quite literally, mind you, for all of us without knowing it would work. You fought by our sides and gave up a life in the spirit world. You gave up your best friend.”

Bringing Shiloh up tugged on my heart strings. I missed her so much. I knew I would see her again someday, but I hoped she got her wish in the end. She deserved to be beautiful and dance in the sunlight like she always wanted. Sword fights and cooking were two things she dreamed of, and I knew she would be amazing at both if given the chance. I could only hope her hair would be as brightly colored as she imagined even when her human mind forgot all about our adventures. She would even forget about me.

“And after it all you’re still you.”

Looking up at Taehyung, another facet of his personality made itself known to me. On top of his naive, golden-hearted mischief, Taehyung was also a wiseman. Aldara had spoken of his grandmother before, and I could see that that trait was passed onto her eldest grandchild.

“But I still did a bad thing,” I whispered, my voice thick. “And I want to make sure I do everything I can possibly do to make this easier on us. I need all of you to live, Tae. I couldn’t bare it if anyone else died.”

“And we need you to live, too, Bridd,” He replied gently.

I said nothing. I knew that was the truth, but we obviously had different ideas about what was important. My own life meant very little to me after the fight with the elf. Hell, my life had meant little to me the night I found the cottage on fire, but I understood where Taehyung was coming from. I was his friend and he wanted to make sure I was alright. Thinking of Jimin, I knew my life meant even more to him. Still, I held onto my own ideas and that included keeping all of them as far away from harm’s way as possible.

He smiled sadly, “Who are you bringing?”

I sighed, “I haven’t made a decision yet. I don’t want to place anybody at risk or leave you unprotected in case I don’t make it back in time,” I did not voice my concerns for not returning at all. “Cadoc thinks Samanya should be with me, but she’s so fierce I’d rather be here to watch over Jimin.”

“Koda is a wonderful option,” Taehyung suggested after a beat. “She was a warrior in Viridi Gramine and served with the copiae for many years. She would be helpful for getting you to Ozryn and the Quietus would be extra security.”

I could not say the plan was bad, it was far too good, but that was the problem. Koda was an older woman now who could no longer change as far as I knew. She would be slow, and I would have to work twice as hard keeping her out of harm's way. I would have better luck going alone with Sam and finding our own way.

“Then again,” The alpha sucked his teeth, “Koda is rather old. Perhaps Jungkook? No, he’s a boy and too childish.”

The ‘prince’ as Ahn dubbed him was always ready for a fight and light on his feet. He reminded me of Taehyung and Hoseok wrapped up into one young man, but I had my doubts on his ability to follow instructions. Anytime I had seen Jungkook he was either in trouble or on his way into it. So, for my own sanity in the coming weeks, I would agree with Taehyung.

“What about Hoseok?” Taehyung snapped his fingers. “Oh! He would be a perfect choice.”

I nodded along with him knowing I would never ask the alpha to come with me. He and Hyuna were a package deal and that was too many to take along. If I was taking Samanya then I would only bring one other, and I doubted his mate would allow him to go regardless. He almost died a few days ago and was still on bed rest at their home.

“It’s too bad he’s resting,” I threw out knowing it would rule him out entirely. “I should just take Samanya and the two of us can figure it out together.”

“There’s always Namjoon.”

I shook my head vigorously.

“Absolutely not.”

I had made peace with the wolf during the fight, and I was certain our fight in my meadow was long forgotten. It did not mean I wanted to shack up with the alpha. He had proven to me his fickle nature and inability to make a decision on his own. He would be easily swayed, and I did not respect him for it. The thought of traveling with him made my head hurt.

“So stubborn,” Taehyung teased. “Fine. I’ll leave it alone.”

“Thank you.”

“Now,” He grinned, “Care to go gather some of those books I like so much? I think they’ll be a nice way to decompress during the night.”

Walking through the streets, I was pleased by the progress everyone had made rebuilding. The market was still destroyed, but so many homes and businesses on the southside were almost completely finished. The north, were the copiae lived, would be the last place rebuilt. Elder Kim had said the children needed a place to go and the few homes that stood were not enough to house them all. Bo, in her typical fashion, was upset by this but held her tongue.

She never wanted to disrespect a man. The thought made me roll my eyes.

Spotting Namjoon, I was pleased to see him and Taehyung working together. The younger alpha’s family home had been destroyed, all of them having to stay in the palace’s already crowded towers, but his mother was going stir crazy. Catching my gaze, Namjoon offered me a small, hesitant wave. I responded with a polite smile and continued walking. Taehyung was none the wiser.

I was greeted many times, all of them kind, and I tried to stop and help however I could. My magic was still weaker than I would like, and I had not had any time to flex my abilities since the attack. Today, I was hoping to change that.

“Would you like for me to help you with that?” I asked an elderly couple struggling to lift leftover roof tiles from their recent repairs.

“That would be lovely, Oxur Park,” The man replied, his voice gruff. “Just put them in that wheelbarrow. We’re giving the rest to Alpha Taehyung’s family.”

Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and attempted to focus. I was lucky the pieces were in a fairly neat pile and would be simple to move so long as I concentrated. A bead of sweat formed on my eyebrow. Lifting my hands, I mumbled under my breath.

“Flotian,” Cracking an eye open, the pile lifted effortlessly.

As quickly as possible, I brought the tiles to the wheelbarrow. Panting now, I knew I needed to flex my muscles a bit more. I was out of shape, and it was showing. With a loud clang, the tiles were ready to be pushed to Taehyung’s.

“Need a hand?”

Dropping my stance, I wiped my forehead and looked at Namjoon. He looked as weary as he had a few moments before, but this time I gave him a real smile. He returned it awkwardly. Whatever had happened during the battle had worn off, his confidence in helping me was replaced by the tongue-twisted man who had stood in my living room begging for forgiveness. Like so many, I owed him an apology as well. Gesturing at the wheelbarrow, I nodded.

“Thank you,” The old woman gushed. “God bless you both!”

Embarrassed, I ducked my head and bowed to the couple. Getting busy with the task, I pointed out a few loose pieces that would not fit in the wheelbarrow. Namjoon gathered them and handed them to my outstretched hands. Taking hold of the heavy, blue metal, the alpha began pushing. I used magic and the leftover tiles floated, following us back down the road.

“Taehyung tells me you are traveling to Viridi Gramine soon.”

I was not expecting small talk, but I was even more taken aback by the lie. The boy was quicker than I thought. The fib would make my disappearance easier to swallow without leading the spies on my trail. It did, however, pose an issue for their neighbors. If the elves believed the wolves to be ready for an attack out East, they may choose to invade sooner.

“Yes,” I lied easily, the word falling off my tongue with such conviction I was almost convinced myself. “I leave in a few days.”

“Would you like an extra set of hands?” He asked. “I know you and I have been on differing sides as of late, but I would like for that to change. I do respect you immensely.”

I smiled sadly. After speaking so ill of the man earlier today he was ready to drop everything to help me. Even if it was to make amends, I acknowledged how unpleasant being away would be. If I were less prideful, I may have accepted his proposal. As it stands, my pride was the only thing I still had to hold on.

“I owe you an apology,” I replied. “I was not fair to you. I let my anger blind me. It seems that’s all I’m good for these days.”

I thought of Jimin and his gentle caresses. I did not deserve his kindness. With the rumors spreading he was bound to hear of Taehyung’s lie. He would have a few choice words for me, that I was sure, but I knew we would work through it if I was given a chance to explain myself. He trusted me enough to allow me that. At least, I hoped he did.

“Regardless,” I sighed, “I’m sorry. I was out of line. I hope you can forgive me.”

“I have never been known to hold grudges for very long,” The man replied.

“Still, I will have to decline the offer,” I threw the tiles on the ground. We were at the edge of Taehyung’s property and the young alpha was hard at work. With barely more than a small wave, Taehyung greeted us. Sparing Namjoon a tight-lipped smile, I continued. “I want as many people in Bangtan as possible. I’m traveling with a small group of quietus.”

Namjoon nodded, his long hair falling out of its loose ponytail.

“Well, if you change your mind, you know where to find me.”

“I’m sure I won’t.”

With that, I bid both alphas goodbye and turned back around.

Standing in front of Jimin’s home was a short, pear-shaped woman. Her salt and pepper hair falling messily around her shoulders, thick bangs boxing in her already squared face. Tanned and beginning to show signs of her aging, her eyes crinkled happily at their corners as I approached. Her dress was tighter than it should have been, almost indecent in comparison to the other women around, but her large hips made it difficult to sew around. Her body would be considered provocative by the men, but the sight of it only made me feel inferior.

I had not realized Jimin’s mother was so beautiful.

“Y/N,” She greeted me happily, her voice soft and sugary sweet.

I bowed, covering my chest with a hand, and closed my eyes. I needed only a second to regroup myself. I had not been prepared to meet my fiance’s mother today. Especially without him by my side. Mi-Jeong radiated positive energy and her smile was infectious. I hoped I looked as happy as she did, but I only felt myself growing more overwhelmed.

“Good afternoon, Mrs.Park,” I winced at how breathless I sounded. I cleared my throat. “How are you?”

“I’m well,” She winked. I did not know why. “You’re just in time for lunch.”

Ushering me inside, I was relieved to hear Jin’s loud voice booming over all of the others. Yoongi was no longer on the living room floor, and Wendy’s gentle laugh mixed with the others. Elated, I quickly took off my shoes and made my way into the kitchen. Mi-Jeong followed behind me, her little feet pitter-pattering against the wooden floors.

The little house was in perfect condition and the smell of fresh paint hung in the air. Spotting Callisto and Hyun-Jin, I smiled at the paint staining their clothes. At least we were all trying to make the most of our horrible situation. Enver was the first to spot me and a huge, face-splitting smile broke out across his little face.

“Bridd!” He cried; his excitement palpable.

A streak of baby blue paint stuck to his cheek, but I did not care. The boy ran to give me a hug and I felt the wet paint soak through my dress. Greeted with loud, obnoxious cheers, I waved the others off and let go of my young friend. Yoongi looked around and I was sad to see he was still disabled. I had a feeling that would be a part of his life now. I hoped it would one day fade, but I was not sure the magic elves used to cause such damage.

“You have to try this,” Wendy moaned, pushing a large plate of noodles my way.

The noodles were thick and covered in a thick, chunky, black sauce. They smelled heavenly. Wendy passed over her pair of chopsticks and gestured at the plate once more. Her mouth was still filled. Picking up a large mouthful, I slurped.

They were delicious. So savory and salty it made my eyes close in content. The noise of content I made was involuntary and I quickly went in for another bite. The plate was pulled away from me and I scowled. Yoona raised an eyebrow at me.

“Is there meat in this?” I asked.

“Pork,” Callisto replied, chewing on a large plate of vegetable noodles.

My stomach turned uncomfortably, and I was suddenly less enthusiastic. They were so delicious; I was almost angry about the pork’s presence. Still, I watched Yoongi bite down on a piece of fried fish and felt less guilty. These were trying times and beggars could not be chooser. I grabbed the bowl back, took another large bite, before Yoona pulled back her way.

“There’s plenty of food. You don’t get to hog all of the Jajangmyeon.”

Someone tapped my shoulder. Mi-Jeong smiled at me, and it reminded me so much of Jimin’s I paused. Holding up a pair of clean chopsticks, she chuckled. I handed Wendy back the borrowed sticks and took my own. Seemingly satisfied, the little woman elbowed her way into the circle and began to grab the dishes she wanted for herself.

The dining table was far too big for all of us to sit at and it seemed everyone chose to stand. Yoongi and Tae-Jin, who had been discharged from the infirmary this morning, were the only two who sat. Mi-Jeong moved Enver out of her way and sat. I could see Wendy placing food on Yoongi’s plate and frowned.

I would have a talk with her about that at some point. I did not have the time or patience to deal with any of that right now. Jin noticed where I was looking and turned. With a deep sigh, he shook his head, but ignored it. It was probably for the best. A couple’s quarrel would cause a huge uproar within the families.

“Good to see you walking around, Mr.Kim,” I greeted Jin’s father.

“Nice to see you, too, kid.”

Passing around bowls and plates, I listened to the conversations around me. Jin and Wendy helped Jimin’s family with the construction repairs, and Mi-Jeong let Enver pick out the new colors for the walls. She had taken a very big liking to the boy. Thelma and the other women were taking a break from helping a family a few houses down but were planning on getting back to work as soon as they were finished eating.

“I was able to get Mannix this morning,” Jin threw my way. “Poor boy was shaking and so scared. He fell asleep in Callisto’s bed.”

I frowned. August, Yoongi’s cat, rubbed against my legs and I guessed he had gone for both of them. Hopefully the two of them will feel better soon. They had been left alone for quite a while. Wendy started talking about the witches from Syrena. Apparently, her coven was planning on coming out to the village to help. That brightened my mood. At least, in my absence, others will be around to help.

Callisto and Mi-Jeong soon left the room taking Thelma and Tae-Jin in tow. They were going to figure out a way to fix some of the loose floorboards in my future sister-in-law’s room. The circle around the table started to dissipate leaving only Yoongi, Jin, Wendy, and Ji-Hyun behind. The three of my friends were all jokingly loudly with one another as I took Mi-Jeong’s seat.

“So, Viridi Gramine?” Ji-Hyun’s eyes were telling, and I knew from the arch of his brow he did not believe Taehyung for a second. “Are you sure you can trust a Quietus to take care of you?”

The wolf was relaxed, his face and body language giving nothing away. Crouched beside my chair we would look like we were having a normal conversation, but he could not keep the malice out of his tone. Sinking into the chair, I turned my body towards his and hoped I could remain neutral. I did not want to fight with Jimin’s brother, but I refused to be intimidated.

I cleared my throat, “I’m sure we will be just fine.”

I did not have the heart to tell him I had yet to make any real decisions. That this entire trip was going to be a convoluted road of impulsive decisions. That I was going to be in more danger than anyone else could ever know. Ji-Hyun’s icy glare told me I did not need to say a word. He already knew what I was doing. His eyes were far more unnerving than Taehyung’s.

“Well,” He spoke softly, careful to keep the others from overhearing, “We can all hope you change your mind. Seeing you hurt would be heartbreaking for my brother. He barely survived it the last time.”

I had to commend the boy; he was very good at laying on the guilt. A thick cloud of shame wrapped itself around my body and it took effort to keep my expression neutral. Again, as it had been for days now, my anger bubbled to the surface. I could not remember being this angry in many, many years. I thought back to Namjoon and the incident in my front yard and looked away.

I was lying to myself. Lying horribly. If I said I could not remember the last time I was able to relax then that would be more truthful. Anxiety and anger were a part of who I was, but I did a wonderful job at hiding it behind snarky comments and isolation. I had never been around so many people for this long and hiding these facets of my personality were growing harder and harder. Soon it would be impossible. This trip could be a blessing in disguise. Once again, I wanted to go off on my own. I knew I was lonely- it was companionship that I was working out.

I thought of Shiloh and sighed heavily. At least she knew when to give me my space. No one else seemed to understand my needs the same way. It was to be expected. She had been with me since I was a young child and never once thought about going away. When the others moved on with their lives after Aldara’s death, when they left me to destroy myself after I burned my bridges, there was Shiloh and her kindness. The singular light in my life for as long as I could remember- the only shine coming close being Yoongi. Now I was alone again and did not know when they would leave. This time, my closest ally was dealing with his own problems and would not have time for mine.

“I’ll be back soon.”

“We’ll see.”

It clicked then. Ji-Hyun believed I was fleeing.

“You may have everyone else fooled,” His voice was so soft, so low, I was positive we were the only two who could understand a word he said. “But know this- if you ever hurt my brother again, I will not be so forgiving. Taehyung is a fool to let you do this. I wouldn’t trust you as far as I could throw you.”

Smirking at my distress, Ji-Hyun pushed his hair out of his face.

“You’re abandoning us,” He cocked his head to the side and gave me a scathing once over. “Jimin would be a fool to think overwise. You will always be a coward. I mean, you let my friends die without blinking an eye, what’s the rest of them?”

Disgusted, I stood and placed my chopsticks in the kitchen sink before stalking back outside. I did not need to put up with his bullshit on top of everything else I was handling. He should feel lucky I walked away. Violent images of striking the boy with fire filled my head followed by ripping his head off the way I had the elf’s.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I used all of my willpower to push my murderous thoughts to the deepest corners of my mind. Again, I was losing control. Stepping out front, I took a breath of fresh air and made every attempt to calm my racing heart. Instead of calm, however, I became even angrier. Because right in front of me was none other than Jimin, the love of my life, looking at me as if I were a perfect stranger.

“Leaving already?” He asked, eyes narrowed.

Great, just great, now he was mad at me as well. My already shaky control was spiraling. I felt my skin heating and my breathing picked back up. I was going to explode if he did not stop. I bit my lip and took a nice, deep breath. His scent did little to calm me. In fact, a small spike in anxiety only made my fists clench.

“I’m going for a walk,” I managed to get out, my voice far lighter than I was expecting. Jimin’s face darkened. “I didn’t realize it was taboo. Is walking illegal now?”

My sarcasm was not aiding either one of us right now. Whatever the reason for his anger, I should not be egging him on. Yet, I could not stop it. Trembling, I closed the front door and took a few more steps outside. Jimin did not move. I did not want to get any closer to him.

“Why is Taehyung lying to everyone?” He demanded, voice low and husky.

“Ask him yourself,” I snapped, already fed up with everyone and their conclusions.

“Are you lying to me?”

Scoffing, I shoved our shoulders as I passed him. He gave me a low, warning growl and turned to face me. Whatever voice that usually told me to bite my tongue was not around. It must have realized I would not listen. Looking up at him, I struggled to figure out how I really felt. Angry? Sad? Disappointed?

Looking into his eyes, I realized I was hurt. And that was a recipe for disaster. Steeling, I shook my head and looked at my feet. I had forgotten my shoes in my haste to get out of there.

“I told you we would speak, didn’t I?” I challenged. “How is that lying to you? Have you no faith in me at all?”

His pained expression told me everything that I needed to know.

“Of course,” I pulled away from him as if I had been burned. “Why would you anyway? It is me after all.”

“Amica-”

“No,” I threw my hands up. “I’ll see you later.”

I needed time to cool off and get my head back on. We had yet to argue, and I knew I would soon devolve into insults and petty jabs. I walked away without looking back, ignoring him calling out for me. He didn’t understand. They never understand.

I should have known he could never forgive me.

Koda stood beside my bedroom door, a large towel in one hand and a small pile of cloth in the other. Her thin clothes would have done little to help me in the cold hallways, but I doubted she felt the draft. She gave me a gentle smile as I approached which I returned. It seemed she would be adhering to Sol’s request from this morning.

“What time will you be leaving tonight?” She asked, handing me the towel.

“After I bathe,” I replied. “I will shift and leave through the broken window downstairs.”

Koda chuckled breathily. We were both keeping our voices down. Neither one of us wanted our conversation to be overheard by prying ears. I knew Bo was listening, but her chambers were on the opposite side of the palace. Even if she tried her best, I doubted she would be able to hear us- unless she was lurking around corners. I would not put it past her.

“That’s been repaired,” Koda sniffed the air, paused, and continued to walk. “I’ve broken the latches on your bedroom window, so you should be able to leave easily tonight.”

After my bath, Koda left me to dress myself and walk back to my room. She was trying to respect my privacy as much as possible, but I knew it was difficult for her to watch me do what she perceived as her job. I would never get used to someone else washing my hair- it was strange. She did, however, put her foot down about drying my hair properly.

“You will get sick, Y/N,” She scolded me gently, her fingers already in my hair.

She took great care and time drying the strands. She never pulled too hard or placed too much pressure on my scalp. After drying it completely, she ran oils and products through it that smell heavily of rose. I tried to convince her to let me go earlier, pleading that I needed to see Jimin, but she refused to budge. Koda was stubborn when she wanted to be.

By the time I left, it was long past midnight, and I was certain that Jimin would already be in bed. Before I could make it to him, Cadoc was floating beside me and told me we needed to speak. Tonight, we would talk about the trip and who I would be bringing. Tomorrow I will be leaving. It only served to make me all the more restless. Tonight, would be our last night and I wanted to get as much time in as I could. Even if it started with an argument, I was hopeful we could end it entangled in his bed.

“What?” I snapped, landing on the ground.

Shifting back, I stood in the destroyed market in nothing but the thin, cotton gown Koda gave me. The air was far more bothersome as a human than a bird and I rubbed my arms. Cadoc smiled apologetically and raised his arms in surrender.

“We will be quick, okay?”

I grit my teeth and nod.

“Have you made a decision yet?” He asked.

“I will go with Sam,” I conceited, hoping this conversation would be over soon.

“She will be pleased to hear that,” Cadoc grinned. “Lorcan will deliver everything you need to take with you tonight. Look over it as much as you can tomorrow, and Sam will meet up with you at your cottage.”

“Thank you.”

Cadoc shook his head, “No thanks needed.”

My skin itched to walk away from him. I wanted to see Jimin, but I knew this was an important conversation. Trying my best to stay pleasant, I nodded and forced a smile on my face. From Cadoc’s amused expression, I failed miserably. Bidding me a goodnight, Cadoc vanished into the wind leaving me alone once more.

Jimin was pacing when I walked into his small home. His hair was let loose, the silver strands frizzed and wild, but beautiful, nonetheless. Our fight this afternoon was still bothering him, and when I closed the front door, his head snapped in my direction. Worrying his bottom lip, I could see blood pooling where he had bitten off his skin. Eyes turning into slits, Jimin’s glare was murderous.

“So, you’re planning on getting yourself killed?”

The question hung in the tense air. Whatever hopes I had for this being a good night were dashed away. Cocking his head to the side, Jimin waited for me to speak but I could not find the words to say. He knew and I was at a loss. Taehyung must have said something in the fear that I really would take the cowardly route.

“Nothing to say?” Jimin pushed, seething. “You had plenty to say at my mother’s. Come on then, tell me.”

I scowled. His bad attitude was understandable, but it did little to soften my increasingly hurt feelings. That anger from earlier was rearing its ugly head. I had plans to tell him tonight and I was angry at Taehyung for going behind my back. Squaring my shoulders, I sighed loudly.

“I doubt you’d listen to me anyway,” My voice was cold and hard. Far harder than I intended for it to be. “You’ve already seemed to have your mind made up about things.”

Scoffing, Jimin marched towards me with a purpose. Standing my ground, I tried my best to dispel my growing anger with little success. My newfound temperament would only make this situation worse but when our chests pressed together and Jimin looked every bit the alpha he was, I did not care. I wanted to scream and fight, bite and scratch, maybe then I could feel myself relax. Maybe all of my anger was a buildup of pressure that I desperately needed to get rid of.

“Why is it that I have to hear about this plan of yours from Sol of all people?” He demanded.

Of course, Taehyung would have spoken to his mate about our conversation. I was foolish to believe anything between us would remain a secret. Now, Sol’s face flashed through my mind and my resent bubbled over. Who the hell was she to tell Jimin anything?

“Why are you taking her word over mine?” I challenged, my teeth gritted.

“Stop answering my questions with questions!” Jimin shouted, walking away from me. “I believe Sol more than anybody. More than you. At least one of you has never kept anything from me.”

That was a low blow and we both knew it. Instead of remorse, the flash of guilt that came across his face soon morphed into indifference. He almost seemed proud of the insult. I refused to cry, the angry sting in my eyes only adding fuel to my already raging fire, and I swallowed thickly. Two can play this game but if he was more concerned about winning then I would gladly let him insult me alone. Taking a step back, I prepared to leave for the night.

“For what it’s worth,” I looked at my feet, “I really am sorry.”

“Stop apologizing to me,” Jimin snapped, his voice so harsh and critical it made me cower. “You’ve done nothing but apologize for days. What else can you do?”

I knew he was just upset and hurt by my plans, our fight only making this one that much worse. I knew he would never say something like that to me under normal circumstances. I knew he would feel awful for his choice of words once he had the chance to cool off. Yet, the hurt and anger spread through my chest and infected every part of my body. He was right, I could not offer him anything but apologies. I knew it was too good to be true. Spiraling once more, I did not realize I was crying until the tears ran down my neck and tickled me.

“Don’t apologize when you’re going to keep doing this shit,” He spat, each word laced with venom. He was only a few feet away from me and I had never felt further away from him. “Apologize when you decide to change. Apologize when you realize I don’t need a martyr- I need someone who won’t lie and keep things from me.”

“I skewed up, alright?” I finally responded, “But I never once lied to you.”

“Yes-”

“No,” I cut him off, my blood boiling. “I did not lie. I told you I was leaving, that it would be difficult, and I told you I would tell you when I knew more.”

“But you were thinking of lying to me till the end!” He screamed.

“I admit that,” I shot right back, my voice growing louder. “I would do anything if it meant you were safe- even if that meant lying to you.”

“Why?”

“Because I love you!”

“Morologus es!”

The silence was so very loud then. Bottom lip wobbling, I took yet another step back. Whatever comeback I could have thought of fell short. Jimin’s conviction was astonishing, and his doubt felt like a punch in the gut. I needed to get out of here. I could hardly breathe, and his scent was becoming suffocating.

“Stop using me as an excuse,” His onslaught continued. “Just admit you want to be the hero. You can’t just be happy with me- no! You have to be the Bridd who runs, and jumps, and begs for the slightest bit of danger if it means she can be the victor! Even when it means getting an entire village killed!”

His words felt like a slap in the face. Was that the reason he thought I wanted to go? It had never even crossed my mind, but the confidence he held made me doubt myself. Wiping my face, I shouted obscenities and tried to catch my breath. I knew he blamed me. It was all my fault. All of this was my fault. Jimin completely ignored me and stood a few feet away, his words like knives, and his gaze like stone.

“This-” He gestured between the two of us, “-Whatever you think you may feel for me is wrong. You don’t love me. This is not love. Running towards your death to redeem yourself is not loving me.”

“Sorry doesn’t fix everything,” He murmured, the edge finally beginning to soften.

“Did you say something to your brother?” I demanded.

“Wh-what?” He spluttered.

I laughed humorlessly, “Cut the shit, Jimin. Whatever you’ve said about me has obviously affected his view of me, or was calling me murderer some one-off occurrence? Somehow, I have a hard time believing he’s come to that conclusion all on his own.”

“Ji-Hyun would never say something like that,” He hissed, his breath heavy. “Why would I speak badly about you behind your back? Unlike you, I’m an upfront person.”

My anger flared once more, and I could slowly see the corners of my vision distorting. As badly as I wanted to end this fight and make up, I knew that would not be possible. Not now. Not ever. Again, he was calling me a liar. Again, I would have to fight this uphill battle to prove myself. Again, I was losing a game I never knew I was playing in the first place.

Cadoc had been wrong. Love was never given freely. Nothing in this life was. Jimin would always need for me to prove myself to him. I would have to fight, bite, scream, and scratch if I wanted to show him that I care. Why I ever hoped it would be different was foolish on my part.

“Are you so angry at me that you’re dragging my brother into this?” He shouted.

I scoffed, “There you go again, treating me as if I am some kind of irrational monster. So, I ask you again, do you really think that little of me?”

Jimin said nothing. Frustrated and tired, I finally had enough. I could smell ash and smoke all around me, and I knew I was about to find myself back at my cottage. Cordelia’s face was in my mind, Aldara’s arm hanging out of the wolf’s mouth, and I knew I needed to leave. Numb and slowly dissociating, I sniffled.

“Fine.”

“What?” He had the nerve to look abashed.

Hand on the front doorknob, I shook my head in defeat. It was over. Jimin was rejecting my love and whatever else I had to offer him. He did not believe in me at all. Somehow that hurt me more than the rejection. His faith had always been constant, his love tender and warm, and that was gone now, too. I had nothing. I was nothing. I deserved whatever I had coming to me. Finally, I had gotten my wish. Finally, he was shouting.

“I didn’t mean to ruin your life,” Devoid of emotion, I sniffled. “I know I made a mistake, but I’m trying my best. Doesn’t that matter?” My voice tapered off towards the end.

Jimin said nothing. I turned the knob and was back outside. I stopped waiting for him to stop me once I could no longer see his home. My feet felt like they weighed twenty pounds each and dragged along the dirt road beneath my feet. I needed to get back home. I chuckled humorlessly when I realized I no longer had one.

I truly gave up on him coming to gather me in his arms once the palace came into view. It was eerily quiet tonight and I wanted to go get lost. I wanted to forget. I wanted to leave.

The thought occurred to me so quickly, so easily, that it made me smile. Yes, I would leave tonight. It was better this way. I would no longer be a burden to this place and the others could live peacefully without me. Even if I died, I doubted it would matter. Nothing I had ever done worked out anyway. It would be nothing new.

Shifting, I scaled the walls and flew into my bedroom. Just as Cadoc said there were countless items at my disposal all wrapped up and ready to go. I would have plenty of time to look over them tomorrow morning. I would sleep in Moland tonight, hopefully not getting too lost, and try to ask for directions once I reached civilization. It was better than hurting anybody else. It was better than getting any more blood on my hands.

At least I could remain the hero.

I cried in pain. I could not believe he thought so lowly of me. No wonder he refused to touch me, I probably disgusted him to no end, and he was hateful that we were bound to one another. Something told me I should stop packing, stop moving, and to breathe, but I ignored it. I did not care what it had to say.

Throwing a few spare changes of clothes, paper, and a few spell books, I knew I needed to change out of the frilly nightgown Koda had changed me into. Throwing on an old, loose shirt, I looked around for my trousers when I stumbled across Aldara’s journals. I had yet to open them since I came here. Running my fingers over the spines, I made the split decision to take them with me. I would need her company to keep me sane.

Finally, I came to a stop as I caught sight of my jewelry box. I had Heidi’s ring on my left hand and Griselda’s on my right, but they felt far too empty. Opening the lid, the cool ceramic felt heavier than normal in my hands. It took a few minutes of digging before I found Aldara’s ring and slipped on my right hand. The bird’s head encased my entire index finger, but I did not care. I would be taking this ring. I found my own a moment later, a chain wrapped around the band.

Pulling it out, I secured it around my neck and looked down. I gasped. There shining and glittering under the candlelight was Taehyung’s necklace. The carnelian had been marginally larger than the tip of my thumb, perfectly rounded, and it’s red coloring deep and beautiful. I could see the faint, dark marbling within it, but the lights made it hard to capture its beauty. Spiraling around the stone was a thin wire of steel that ended with a small loop. I thought Taehyung would like something simple, so I finished it off with a long piece of dark cord that I carefully braided. It was beautiful.

My anger dissipated at the sight of it. I had spent days working on that necklace hoping I would not break the stone. I completed it a few days before the present ceremony, but when everything went to shit, I had completely forgotten about it. I placed it on the desk and sighed.

Thick, hot tears ran down my cheeks as I cried. I had such high hopes for everyone. If I could turn back time I would, why could nobody see that? Why was Taehyung the only person I believed when he said he would love me regardless? Bitter, I wiped my face roughly and went back to packing.

He was the only one who meant it, that’s why.

Reaching into my back, I pulled out a single sheet of paper and prepared my ink. I would have to leave something for him at least. No need to worry the people who cared for me. Even Jimin. I can’t forgive myself, but I could forgive him. Maybe when I come back, we could work things out.

Taehyung,

Do you remember this? It feels like a lifetime ago. I hope you like it. I wish I could have made a matching one for Sol, but maybe that would have been too perfect. When I get back, I will make sure I have one waiting for her neck. The two of you deserve it. Even if I am angry with your wife, I know I will get over that soon enough.

Tell the others how sorry I am for this impromptu banishment. I fear I have made a real mess of things lately and I don’t know how to make it better. No one believes in me, no one thinks I’m capable, and I can’t figure out what it is they mean by it? Am I not strong enough or is it because it does not matter? I’m sorry if this is confusing. Tonight, has been too much for me. No- today has been too much. The last ten years have been too much.

I haven’t had my head on right in a very long time, Tae. So, I beg of you to forgive me. I promise you that no one had a part in my decision to leave like this. It’s all my own doing. I can only hope I make it back in time to tell you how much you mean to me. How much all of you mean to me.

Tell Yoongi that I will miss him more than I miss breathing. Tell Jin his laughter will be something I think about to keep me going. Tell Wendy how much I’m going to miss her hugs and will yearn for them every day. I need my witches to know that I adore every single one of them and will do whatever it takes to keep them out of harm’s way. Thank Thelma for me. Let Enver know how proud I am and that the blue looks nice.

Lastly, let Jimin know I love him more than anything else in this life. Even my own. That will never change, even when he is frustrated and angry at the world. I promise I will try my best to come back home in one piece. I promise, as the Gods look down upon me, that I will do everything in my power to bring help back. I don’t care where I have to go or what I have to do. I will not come back empty handed this time.

Be careful. The elves are not known for their mercy.

With all my love,

Y/N

Slipping on my pants, snatching a pair of earrings Yoongi gifted me for my birthday a few years ago, and lacing up pair of boots, I slung the bag over my back and enchanted my things to flex and change as I did. Afterwards, I shifted and flew out of the window. I did not look down or wait for somebody to find me. Tomorrow morning, they would wake and the cause of all their misery would be gone. I would fight tooth and nail if it meant I had a better chance of getting help to these people. Aldara had never led me astray before.

I wished I could have told Jimin that.

Broken hearted and lost, I flew above the trees and watched the world I know leave me behind. Flying would get me somewhere, but the elves would grow suspicious of a raven wearing a backpack. Soaring, Thelma’s small boat home cut through the trees and I knew I would have some place to rest my head tonight.

I wished Jimin could have been here with me.

Translations:

Matrina - Godmother

Patrinus - Godfather

Mi conjunx - My wife (Addressing)

Mi coniunx - My husband (Addressing)

Morologus es! - You’re talking like a moron!

I know I’m a jerk for this...please don’t be mad at me. It’ll get better... eventually.

Taglist: @greezenini @adventures-in-bookland @kthstrawberryshortcake-main @zae007live @jimin-neverout @nikkiordonez12 @canarystwin @yamekomz @chimthicc @michiiedreamer @amorieus

61 notes · View notes