I’ve lurked on this blog long enough. Now I want to talk about my own story.

For context, I’m a bisexual teenage girl living in a very liberal city. I’ve had Tumblr since middle school and was on board entirely with the “LGBTQIAP” community. However, in the following years, I began questioning their rhetoric more and more. I failed to see queer theorists and liberal feminists be able to define pansexuality, how a medical condition such as intersex qualifies as being part of a community oppressed on the basis of same sex attraction, how queer is a slur, so on and so forth. So, my acronym shortened to LGBT. I wanted to include this portion because people do claim that “saying xyz isn’t part of the LGBT community is TERF rhetoric!” nowadays, and also to show how easily swayed my disposition was to the point where I could include titles with undefinable definitions.

Here’s where the T came in. Two people have medically transitioned in my high school, both males. One was an out and proud gay male for a while, only to transition while he was 16-17. He was known as just “the gay guy” by just about everyone, and his only friends were women. The other one is one I’ll talk more about in detail.

He’s an autogynephile. I initially was supportive of him, even going as far as to assist him in self medication when we were in school. However, more and more of what he said began to unnerve me. First off, he said he had sexual fantasies of being a transgender sex slave that would become a biological girl in the process of intercourse before transition. Another was that he claimed he dated his ex girlfriend post transition, only to break up because “she doesn’t like girls”. My brain struggled to reconcile how anything about him changed except for his vocal fry, hormonal balance, and wardrobe. If he was truly a woman all along like TRA me claimed, didn’t that mean she’s bisexual for dating him pre-transition and that rejecting him is prejudiced? There’s more skinwalking when it came to his identity, as he stole the current name he is going as from a girl he used to like, and outright admitted that he adapted his personality and mannerisms from another girl in our school (for context, she is very short, Asian, wore cute blouses/skirts, had a feminine voice, and a lot of boys liked her). He would ask his friends whether they saw similarities between him and her, and get excited when they said they could see the resemblance. If we were still in high school, I would tell her that nearly 3-4 years after contacting one another, this man is still trying to model himself after her. Skinwalking much? Some side notes are that he enjoys talking about lesbians, lesbian catgirls, and anime lesbian catgirls. When I confronted him about whether he was lesbian or not, he claimed that he’s bisexual but only liked one or two guys ever. Even TRA me was skeptical, having seen gay/lesbian history and experiences co opted by fellow bisexuals, but I let it slide on the basis of “maybe he’s just misguided.” When someone tells you who you are, believe them.

Initially, I discovered a radical feminist Twitter account and began reading, and I pieced everything together. Being East Asian, the transgender community has taken their cultural and racial fetish for Japanese, Korean, Chinese, and Thai BL/GL content way too far. I admit, I have pangs of doubt that some of the stories I’m reading on here are fake or caricaturized when mentioning their lesbian porn & catgirl obsessions, but I know my own life & I have no doubt more of these men exist & form communities together. I just can’t believe that they are a legally protected class & that it’s gotten to this point. Entertain their delusions or get doxxed. The 40-50 something gender critical community on Reddit and Twitter don’t get how harrowing it is for young LGB people to have to sit through being lumped with a community that is destroying the definition of woman and all sex based protections that come with it.

There's alot of terfs posing as transmascs in the transmasc tags rn, so i just wanna make it clear to those who follow me: - Yes transmascs have transmasc specific issues - No that does not mean we are inherently more oppressed than transfems - Yes we deserve to have a term for it for ease of discussion - No it does not oppress anyone to have such a term - Yes, alot of people have flawed views on transmasc issues - No, this is not the fault of transfems Now more than ever we need to uplift ourselves and our fellow siblings with "out-of-the-norm" gender identities. Please Please Please be wary of posts making generalizations like "Transfems dont want us to have-" "Transmascs are just taking away from-" Thats just bait trying to pit us against eachother, please block people like this.

Minors/Younger Trans people especially, please know, our enemy and oppressors are not eachother! Think long and hard about who exactly benefits when we spend our time hurting eachother instead of lifting eachother up and fighting as a united group.

Transmasc Person: "I am a straight guy, since I am a guy who loves women."

Toxic Queer People™: "Ew, straight guys are all predators, since only non-queer people are straight! Anyways, discrimination against straight men isn't real, even when they're a minority."

Transmasc Person: "Okay, I am a lesbian, since even if I'm not a woman, I still have a connection to womanhood."

Toxic Queer People™: "Lesbian is woman-only! If you are in any way a man or not a woman, you are not a lesbian! Transmascs can never be lesbians or have a connection to womanhood/a lack of manhood! Stop invading the lesbian community!"

I dare you to make it make sense.

Passing as a trans man is a nuanced and complex topic, but one thing I have been noticing as somebody who is a cis-passing (white) trans man is the way I'm treated when there is conflict.

I've noticed that in conflict, people are almost meek around me, willing for me to try working with them up until a woman is involved. When a woman (or, really, anybody who the other party assumes is one) is part of the conflict, they direct all their anger and rage to them. It's fucking insane the way a woman is treated when there is conflict, even if it isn't her fucking fault. These people are fundamental cowards for seeing my manhood as the only reason they can't be openly hostile to me, but it reveals a lot about how a misogynist thinks on an almost primal level.

I'm watching the women and people around me I care about being torn apart by people, and that's unacceptable. I can't sit around to watch it, and I don't want to do that. I need other people to perhaps read this and remember to not stand by if there is something that you can tangibly do to help, even if it's to lend a listening ear or let the person vent.

“Trans men and mascs don’t get a special word because they aren’t oppressed specifically as men, since as men they reap benefits of patriarchy, because if there are two resumes on the table and one has the name Dave and the other Susan, and both happen to be trans, Dave will be hired over Susan, regardless of how his coworkers see his gender.”

a) You really think every transmasc has equal access to changing their name? You think every transmasc wants to take a name that is normative? If I apply for a job right now, it would still have to be under my legal name, which is the one my parents assigned me along with the gender I shed. It’s pretty cis-normatively female. Even if I changed my name, Enviri is not a name that would get me sorted into a pile with Daves and Joes.

b) You’re acting like there isn’t an interview process, where if you don’t pass, you definitely won’t be sorted into the Dave pile if your name is Dave but you can’t physically transition and so don’t pass as cis.

These sorts of statements rely on assuming that all transmascs are passing and stealth, and so gender-conforming. Or that society is actually good at viewing trans people as our actual gender if we aren’t those things.

Denying transmascs language based on the absolute most privileged of us that you can imagine does absolutely nothing. I’ve not gained an ounce of male privilege as a non-passing, GNC transmasc because it’s society that grants privilege, and society is still extremely hostile to ALL trans people, AND men who don’t conform ESPECIALLY if they’re trans and had been stealth, and society will still at this point remove all that privilege if trans status is known.

It’s petty as fuck to make up reasons to take down a word and conversation when it all comes back around to, “oh well, you don’t get a word because, uhm, we don’t think you should have one because it makes us feel less special about having our own word.” Fuck off.

There's something that infuriates me so much about people mocking characters that fall into the "not like other girls" trap, because the reasons girls take on that stance is because they exist in a society that tries to put womanhood and femininity in a restrictive box that tells them who and how they should be.

They're generally mocked and derided for not wishing to conform to stereotypical femininity, but when they lash out in entirely predictable but ultimately unhelpful ways (by being dismissive and rude about other women and femininity in general) instead of understanding that it's a product of growing up in a society that's restricting them and punishing them for not conforming (either by choice or inability) so many people who claim to be feminists choose to mock them or make them out to be the cause of the problem rather than a symptom. Whether its being mocked in real life, or watching people deride the fictional characters they relate to, this behaviour just alienates those girls even further into thinking that the issue is other women, and confirms their belief that women who are typically feminine will only ever be derisive toward them and that they're somehow fundamentally different from other women.

If you know someone who thinks along those "I'm not like other girls" lines instead of mocking them try directing them towards resources that can help them understand where that harmful rhetoric comes from, and when you're critiquing characters that fit that mold try to consider why they behave that way, and what girls who see themselves in those characters take from your commentary.

Feel like reminding people who insist on calling trans women and girls “dude” and “bro” as “gender neutral” terms that we live in a patriarchal society where men are seen as the default and that’s the only reason those SPECIFICALLY MALE words take on a gender neutral connotation, in addition to the fact that women are seen as lesser and so calling a man a female term is seen as “degrading”. Ik Tumblr tends to forget this with how much you love to call your male blorbos “baby girl” but yeah that’s how it is in this world. I don’t see y’all out here calling trans dudes sis or girlypop nearly as much but when it comes to trans women and their boundaries suddenly everybody and their mama wants to argue.

okay i'm gonna say something and you all have to give me a chance. ready?

we need to stop making fun of poor american southerners who distrust the government. it's real easy to call them all conspiracy theorists and dismiss them, but half the time, its built off of a genuine feeling of being abandoned by the infrastructure meant to keep them safe.

in appalachia, a lot of people lost their homes because of coal mining operations. a lot of people worked in those mines, and then when the mines stopped being profitable, they got tossed out with the bathwater. a lot of appalachia is poor, malnourished, and i don't blame them for not trusting rich politicians who dismiss them as stupid and lower class.

if yall actually listened to half the things poor southerners say, you'd realize that a Lot of common leftist complaints are virtually identical to the rural grandma who doesn't hold with electronic money and politicians. it stems from a genuine feeling of abandonment and ostracization by the people who run the country. functionally, someone living paycheck to paycheck in the city in a tiny apartment has infinitely more in common with someone from rural appalachia than a politician. high rent, high taxes, food insecurity, feeling lied to by those in power, a general sense of frustration. it just sounds fancier coming from a city mouth than one with shitty teeth and a southern accent.

tl;dr stop dismissing southern people as stupid. they're absolutely right not to wholeheartedly trust politicians, because they've been fucked over by them time and time again, and honestly, id rather talk to a southern person who openly distrusts their representatives than someone from the city who wholeheartedly believes that Frederick Jamestown OldMoney III genuinely cares what people think and can be convinced to change his ways.

it's so funny (read: sad) that if bigoted fuckheads didn't insist i was a woman simply by virtue of my body at birth, i'd probably be chill with she/her pronouns in addition to he/they. if my mom didn't insist i was her daughter, i'd probably let her call me that, and we could still have a relationship.

i'm nonbinary and 'gendered' words are hypothetically meaningless, but because there are so many people who are more interested in telling me who i am rather than lovingly and curiously letting me express my own sense of self, those words carry trauma.

there's no reason a nonbinary person like myself can't be a son and a child and a daughter. there's no reason a nonbinary person like me can't go by he, they, and she.

'she' is not a slur. 'daughter' is not derogatory. 'beautiful' 'pretty' 'gorgeous' 'feminine' are not insults.

to the contrary, they're parts of language that express certain facets of a multi-faceted human existence, like mine.

and i have this sad, mournful feeling that if it weren't for unloving, condescending people, i'd probably be down to be called any of those things alongside my usual masculine/neutral terminology.

but i'd rather die than let anyone tell me what i have to be called.

Spectrums: Autistic Transgender People in Their Own Words by Maxfield Sparrow

Written by autistic trans people from around the world, this vital and intimate collection of personal essays reveals the struggles and joys of living at the intersection of neurodivergence and gender diversity.

Weaving memories, poems and first-person narratives together, these stories showcase experiences of coming out, college and university life, accessing healthcare, physical transition, friendships and relationships, sexuality, pregnancy, parenting, and late life self-discovery, to reveal a rich and varied tapestry of life lived on the spectrums.

With humour and personal insight, this anthology is essential reading for autistic trans people, and the professionals supporting them, as well as anyone interested in the nuances of autism and gender identity.

I was extremely active on tumblr around 2013-2018. I was depressed and was relapsing into my anorexia again. I started posting about how I don’t want to have boobs/hips/etc, how I want to look like a thin boy(I think I might’ve said emaciated once?), how I want to look like a little kid, etc. 20+ yo transwomen then started messaging me, telling me that I’m obviously trans. I started calling myself a “he” and was encouraged to transition behind my family��s back. They continued to tell me how my life will be much better if I just transition, saying that transitioning will solve all of my problems. Someone even suggested fleeing to Canada and claiming refugee status on the basis of LGBT discrimination.

I was like… 15-17 when the trans thing happened?? I then got into an inpatient treatment bc my condition got worse. I got the treatment I needed. At first I didn’t really think much of the TIMs pushing me to transition, but the more I think about it, the angrier I get. In hindsight it would’ve been obvious that I was a girl struggling with puberty and an eating disorder. And instead of trying to help me address those issues and encouraging me to seek professional help, they pushed me to transition socially and medically as a minor. When I started referring to myself as a “she” again I was harassed and gaslit. They told me that I must’ve been brainwashed by my therapist because I “was clearly a transboy”. I peaked and left tumblr for a few years while I sorted myself out.

Oh, also idk if this matters or not but I didn’t hide that I’m not white and that I live in a developing country. The TIMs that contacted me were all white. Sometimes I can’t help but wonder if they contacted me because I’m a WOC and bc my country was(and still is) a rather popular “sex tourism”(international prostitution) destination, including child prostitution by foreigners, mainly white men. We’ve busted a few child prostitution rings run by foreigners here, so it’s not like that’s an impossible scenario. I really don’t like thinking about this aspect because it just makes me feel extremely disgusted 😔

I feel groomed tbh. They could’ve told me to seek therapy, but instead they pushed me to transition without seeking any therapy first. 

the thing with doctor who i think is that it gets better the more you know. maybe this is true of all writing but i only know doctor who so we'll focus on that. but i think it gets better the more you know this is why my fic is not very good. i dont know many things. i think if you have a background in like, just any field you can use you can make your doctor who stories more interesting. like linguistics maths physics and music are things that come to mind for me that i would like to know to make my doctor who stories more interesting but i think it can work with, like, almost anything. biology stuff also works well adds a lot. sociology stuff history. if you know how to sew really well or youve worked in meat factories. just, if you have deep knowledge about something this will enrich your doctor who stories (again, might be true for literally every writing)

but also things you can know that are just lived and not books. like i said with that post about different countries' doctor whos, every country would bring its own history and values and perspective to the stories. but also like for example the class stuff or the queer stuff you see with rtds stories like anything a writer Knows will make their stories more interesting

and thats why doctor who could literally be so good If They Diversified Their Fucking Staff. in every sense of the word. you need disabled people, trans people, racialised people, people with different religions but you need people who know other things than writing too! which i get is difficult because theyre mostly working in their fields and not writing but like there are writers who are not or have not only ever just been writers. or just get writers with some weird fucking hobbies!

even in the most basic way even if you keep your entire show white christian able-bodied man, if you have more of those you will have better stories. it will still suck! but like, less than if you only have 1 guy writing right? thats not a novel concept artists know this writers know this thats why they work together. and i get that making tv is very complex and theres a lot of interests and a lot of choices being made that arent even to do with the stories but i find it so frustrating to think about how good doctor who could be if they let other people in to put their knowledge and their perspective in the stories

i think everyone on sunnytwt needs to be sat down so i can explain to them what basic human empathy is. and then maybe i put them in a blender until they agree to write meta about the characters instead of whether or not charlie day got facial reconstruction surgery.

It's just... odd to me, I suppose, going from "what is in my pants is completely irrelevant to most anybody else's life" to the expectation that you must be completely open, essentially, about what is in your pants.

I think a lot of people understand the general idea of why it's bad decorum to demand people offer explanations for private information like this, but they don't analyze exactly why it's bad besides, "asking directly is just rude" and not "asking in any way still enforces the often violent nature of gender and sex, and putting people in the 'right box' is a part of that violence."

It's especially odd when seeing other trans people enforcing the idea that "what's in your pants?" is a genuine, good-faith basis for interacting with others.

imho tbh tbh tbfr if someone is altering their own body even if its for erotic purposes who the fuck are you to moralize and condemn their decision to exercise their bodily autonomy?

I think there may be terfs coming out of the woodwork trying to turn trans people against each other. I've seen several terf posts within the past 24 hours trying to make it seem like transfems want to control transmasc, but the posts are always worded in that terf-y way that just reeks of pure transphobia.

Now, whether people are genuinely failing to read between the lines of flowery "progressive" sounding language? That's another story altogether.

Tldr stealth terfs are proving that no one is immune to propaganda

no genuinely. like when there was that anon going around sending transfems really vile messages claiming to be a trans man but it was really, really obviously a terf sending ragebait.

my opinion on the matter is, words like transmisogyny and transandrophobia should, can, and HAVE TO exist at the same time to describe our unique experiences. but its also very very important to remember that both of those overlap with eachother, theres not this huge solid wall between them and every trans person's experience is completely unique to them.

i dont think its useful to act like there are these boxes that oppression fits into that covers these broad categories while ignoring things like intersectionality and the basic fact that when someone is being transphobic, they dont try and puzzle out if youre ftm or mtf or transneutral or whatever, they just guess and attack you from there. its so ingrained in society its an automatic response for most of these people. it doesnt matter what kind of trans we are, we are 'othered' and treated as such.

conversations on who has it worse, or this concept that invisibility over hypersexualization is safer/inherent to your agab, it's all unproductive. it's a waste of time. they want to kill all of us.

they are trying to divide us so that we go nuts fighting with eachother and not them, and it's working. we know this is what they're doing because they openly post about doing so. we cannot let them win. we cannot break solidarity with eachother. we deserve better than that. we do.