#title bc i feel sick rn ;)
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i feel sick rn
#my sims#ts4#sims 4#sims4#ts4 cas#sims 4 cas#sims#ts4 portrait#sims 4 portrait#ts4 lookbook#sims 4 lookbook#title bc i feel sick rn ;)#alsooooo no names :D#also mad sick in love with all of them#gn
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[NSB HEADCANONS] - them taking care of you when you’re pregnant!
synopsis: title says it all!
warnings: mention of morning sickness, vomiting, pregnancy stuff… some mistakes here and there
type: fluff
members: everyone
wc: around 200 by members? i think? so around 1.4K
not feeling 100% great atm, so im sorry if theres mistakes :((
reblogs and likes are very appreciated!
OLIVER MOY - the one who would support you by doing the tasks / giving you compliments during that period
The sweetest man
He would literally be the best dad, fr
LIKE HAVE YOU SEEN HIM WITH KIDS??? (Talking abt the members rn 🤣)
He would do all the tasks for you
And compliment you!
Oli would make sure that you eat food and drink your water
« And here’s for you, my love!!! Your favorite pasta! »
he would be soooo supportive 🥹
« Hey baby, I’ll take care of it! Go rest yourself, alright? »
« c’mon my love. Go take a break, I’ll do the chores! »
He’s literally the man we all wish we had in our life
« You look so beautiful with that baby dump »
« our baby will be so pretty »
« Do you think they will have my eyes or yours? Gosh, i hope they will have yours.. yours are so pretty ��
OLIVER MOY, STOP BEING SO DAMN CUTE LIKE???
He would literally be the cutest man alive during this time (as if he wasnt enough sweet like that)
like tell me if im wrong (im not)
(Others members under the cut!)
SEBASTIAN MOY - the one who would try to make you laugh / smile
Listen…
This man would try to make the time less crampy
less painful too
Remember the video where he took the pregnancy test? He was screaming.
He knows you’re strong enough, and everything… but he hates seeing you in pain (even though its normal since ur literally pregnant lol)
So, obvs since he know it hurts, he would try to make the time less hard for you :( bc he know that the test and the pregnancy state is two completely different things
he took the pregnancy test and it hurted him so bad... he can't imagine it must be for you
But if he can make the time less painful by making you laugh / smile, he would do it
This man would buy flowers.
I just see him walking in ur house and being like « hey, here’s flowers for the future mommy »
Also, he would try to crack jokes here and there
Pregnancy jokes, even!
« Why did the pregnant woman go on a picnic? Because she was craving a little something extra! »
thank you seb for this joke 😐
He would also bring your favorite food / drinks 🥤
He would search them on google and he would be so proud
"im gonna be the funny one in this family"
He’s the energetic member of the group, but for you, he would try to rest and not move too much 🥲 like this man would, surprisingly, be calm (only for you, babe)
Seb would be such a good supporter too, although affirmations is not his first love language, he would be super cute. i promise you :)
RYAN NGUYEN - the one who would help you with ur cravings / the one who try to make you relax
He would judge you so bad for ur cravings
But he would buy them for you
Why? Bc even though he thinks its weird, he knows it could make u happy and make you smile
And him seeing your smile can easily make his day 😚
« babe, i love you with all my heart, i truly do, but… why are you putting bananas in apple sauce and yogourt…? »
But he loves you! (sometimes hes giving you a side eye)
Also… he would literally take care of everything
A bit like Oliver would do :)
« Babe, don’t worry abt it! I can take care of it »
« Need help? Alright, wait a sec »
He would quit his game for you in like 0.3844843 sec
« What the fuck just happened?!?!- baby? Need help? Yeah, one sec… alright boys, im heading out » (he would say smth like that)
« Go relax, my love. I can do it »
« Baby… stop overworking yourself! I know you can do it, but i want you to relax… you’ve been working all day »
Also, even thought it doesn’t look like it, he would be super supportive
He’s just more an ‘actions’ than a ‘word’ kind of person
JUSTIN PHAN - the one who would send you voices messages during your day to make sure ur taking care of urself and not overworking / help you with your morning sickness
Justin would be the type to grab his phone during a really important moment and just text you / give u voice messages
Although he know u love helping around in the house and doing ur tasks, he make sure that you don’t get overworked
« Hey baby, im with the boys at the store… do u need anything at the store? »
This man’s would also help you during the morning sickness
He just want the best for you 😁
Jp look like the person who knows when there’s a problem without you having to say it
« Hey baby, is everything okay? »
Like idk why but he look like the type that would read faces lol
he has this gut feeling, what can i say?
« Hold on, drink that glass of water, okay? Deep breath, baby… »
« Yeah, just like that »
If he see you vomiting, he would take ur hair up and pat ur back
« it’s okay baby, let it all out, everything's gonna be fine»
« if anything happen, wake me up alright? I want to be there for you »
Like for sure, seeing vomit is not the most aesthetic thing he saw, but he knows that it’s normal
KANE RATAN - the one who would massage you and listen to you
this man would be so cute.
I literally said that to everyone 💀 but it’s true
We all know how kane give good massages
This man know what he’s doing!
He probably took massages classes when he was younger, bc this man would give u the best massage ever
« come here, i will give you a lil’ massage, baby… let me knock out the stress away! »
Also, during the massage…
He would literally let you talk about your pregnancy, how the cramps are, how is it… or just random stuff haha
In others words: let you vent abt what ur going through during that time, because he knows its not always easy
« Tell me if it hurt, okay? I don’t want to hurt you »
Also, i feel he would be the type to ask this question:
« Do you think we’ll have a girl or a boy? »
« if im being honest, i don’t really mind if its a girl or a boy… as long as they’re happy, im happy »
« Do you think we could play anime music? Do you think it would make them a fan of AOT? Or we could play one piece!! omg baby, do you think they would like aot or one piece more? »
Not Kane wanting to make ur future baby (not even borned yet lol) a fan of AOT… such a relaxing and childish anime, wow!!!
DARREN LIANG - the one who would cook for you and kiss ur cramps away
We all know how Darren is a great cook
So I’m sure he would love to cook for you :)
« hey babe, i just cooked ur favorite meal! »
Isn’t he so cute? 🥹
The con is that he would judge your cravings.. like Ryan.
BUTTTTT he know it can make you happy, so he would obviously make them for you if it can make you happy!
Also, he would kiss your cramps away
To me, he looks like such a sweetheart when it come to pain or smth like that
« Hey baby, are you okay? »
« Do you want me to help you? »
A bit like Kane, dar’ would give you a little massage
« You’re so cute baby »
And he would kiss you 🤭 bc it’s Darren we’re talking abt!
also, if ur in the mood... its ur lucky day!! bc this man's always in the mood!
« Are you feeling a bit better? »
« Come and rest next to me, alright? »
He’s such a sweetheart, woah
REGIE MACALINO - the one who would go shopping with you for baby clothes / decorations
He would be the best dad ever, no joke
He would buy soooo many decorations and clothes, like we all know how regie has style, like there’s absolutely no way his son / daughter won’t have style too
And even if regie says « i put whatever i want » like okay maybe he do, but like it is styled in a way that i can’t explain lmaooo
I’m sorry, he just seem to be the type to search a bit in store, then on pinterest to see what would look good lol 🫢
I’m sure regie would be the type to search on Pinterest some baby decorations
Btw, your baby's room would be sooo messy, im so sorry
Regie would only look for cool bedsheets and fun decorations, but not for organizer bc have you seen his room?? Guys, it’s a bit messy im sorry
So regie wouldn’t be the type to buy organizer, BUTTTTTT he would make sure to let (try) the piece clean with his kid if it can make you happy
Regie seems tough, but he’s indeed a big sweetheart
He has sm love for us the star (his fan) so imagine for his kid-
He would be the cutest dad ever, like I’m sure regie would be there for his kid in all the ways he can
He would take care of you so so much too
He would be like Oliver haha
Sing for you, make you food, do the tasks (look how gentleman he is)… also, he would def make the baby like him more.. im sorry
taglist! (open! send an ask if you’d like to be added) : @nsb-rkive @kentisbaby @firebenderwolf @hyuneee0 @yawnzzznnn @ghostyycat7
Olegie has my heart 🤭
100% recommand this man!
Bold can’t be tagged.
#ghostiiess#nsb#northstarboys#north star boys#headcanon#headcanons#nsbheadcanons#sebastian moy#oliver moy#ryan nguyen#justin phan#regie macalino#darrenliang#kane ratan#sebastian moy x reader#sebastian moy x female reader#sebastian moy x you#olivermoy#oliver moy x reader#oliver moy x female reader#azngami#ratan kane#darren liang x reader#darren liang x female reader#macalino regie#nsb x reader#nsb x female reader#north star boys x female reader#north star boys x reader#north star boy x reader
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I THINK THERES BEEN A GLITCH
CHAPTER THREE: SITUATION-SHIP
↢ chapter two | series masterlist | chapter four ↣
steve harrington x fem!baker + artist
word count: [9.5K]
warnings: no use of y/n, talks / mentions of self deprecation, mental spiral (overwhelming thoughts and anxiety), steve being an overthinking mess, overall fluffiness bcs we all need it rn.
summary: when Robin calls you with an impromptu invite to Hawkins you can't turn it down especially when you've been dying for an excuse to see Steve again. but it all comes to a daunting turn as Steve endures a night full of prodding and pestering by his friends. it gets the best of him, taking him down the familiar road of anxiety and fear, but that was before you strayed towards his side, showing him that this situation isn't as complicated as it seems.
“Look into his angel eyes, one look and you’re hypnotized…”
You hummed along softly with your hand on your hip standing in front of the kettle that boiled slowly on the stove. It was nearly midmorning and though you weren’t an early bird yourself, it felt nice to roll out of bed with the hope that today was going to be better…you were going to be better.
And better meant making an effort, one that probably would go nowhere, but at least you tried. It was about time you pulled yourself out of the slump instead of sitting around waiting for yourself to magically get yanked out of it with ease. Instead, you set the mood, turning your living room into its usual workspace that would hopefully help you get into the groove of things.
The curtains had been drawn letting the sunshine cascade the walls and floorboards of your apartment.
Your new ABBA record spinning on the turn table beside a freshly lit candle.
Paint bottles, brushes, and other material had been set on the coffee table, ready to be put to use.
A new canvas on the easel already primed and just waiting for you to step forward and bring your art to life.
“Okay,” You sighed, nodding to yourself as you took a sip of your hot coffee and walked towards your living room.
Setting down the mug after taking another sip, you reached for your sketchbook, flipping through the pages that you had filled over the course of the past few days. It wasn’t anything too out of this world, just scenes in your head that were committed to memory and couldn’t stop thinking about.
Four pages were full of rough sketches:
A piece of half eaten cherry pie on a plate.
A vase of flowers sitting on a window sill.
A pile of quarters sitting next to a jukebox.
And a silhouette of a man who looked way too much like Steve — shirtless and covered in beauty marks where he stood in your living room.
Who were you kidding? It was Steve. All four sketches had to do with him… the muse if you will.
The half eaten pie was a flashback to your first time meeting him and the longing gazes you two would share in his living room. The vase of flowers took you back to the day where he came over with summer arrangements in his hands. The pile of quarters reliving the moment he asked you to dance and gave you all his pocket change just so you could listen to your favorite songs over dinner.
And of course, shirtless Steve, a beautiful reminder that he was living in your head no matter how far apart you were and how blurry the lines between you both were drawn. Friends had a nice title to it, but there was that gnawing feeling of more, a kind of relationship you couldn’t quite place.
Embarrassingly enough, the sketch didn’t take you long. You even mapped out the littlest of details like the three moles he had resting on his stomach and the hair that decorated his chest.
‘It’s ten in the morning and you’re thinking about Steve, that’s so pathetic,’
Sure it was utterly pathetic and honestly downright ridiculous but you couldn’t sit there and pretend like you weren’t affected by him. Even if the sketch didn’t do real life Steve any justice, it was still Steve. The Steve that would send you into a love sick daze if you decided to paint him today so instead you opened for the slice of cake, just as memorable as shirtless Steve.
With the graphite pencil in your dominant hand, you used light strokes against the canvas, roughing out the original sketch and creating a guide that would make it easier for you to paint in sections. The details like the crumbs sitting on the plate and the mush from the cherries didn’t correspond the way you’d like just yet, but you know it’s part of the process and once the paint hits, it’ll come together eventually.
“Not bad,” You whispered under your breath, dropping the pencil down and stepping back to see the composition.
You had drawn the plate sitting against his wooden coffee table, a few crumbs littered across the dish with the fork resting on the edge. It’s a simple scene, something that you shouldn’t have to tilt your head at and begin to pick apart, but you do so without realizing it’s that incessant criticism again.
Even if it’s just a sketch, you’re already imagining the colors clashing together and looking murky if you even think about painting it. The pie itself doesn’t even look half eaten, instead it looks like it had been torn apart from the inside by maggots — disgusting and revolting.
“Nope, c’mon, get it together,” You shut your eyes tightly, shaking your head back and forth as if that would make the gnawing thoughts leave your head.
When you opened your eyes you could picture the slimy larvae creatures moving across the plate and onto the fork, making you groan as you flopped back onto the couch and ran your fingers through your scrap tugging at your roots frustratedly.
All of it felt so fucking impossible and you weren’t sure why. Maybe it was the fact that you weren’t strong enough to combat your own goddamn thoughts and pick yourself up or maybe it was beginning to dawn on you that your spark was gone.
The ideas that you had in your head and even the sketches that filled your book was just the remainder of what was left. Before you knew it, it was all going to be gone eventually and you’d have to settle for the fact that your dreams as an artist were going to be crushed. And not because someone else was telling you that you couldn’t do it, but because at the end of the day it was always you.
Where was the girl who was sitting across from Steve at the diner that she painted all by herself? Where was the girl who looked around that same diner and realized that her potential was not limited by herself? Where was that girl who powered through all that stress and walked away with all the experience that made her better?
Where was she now and how could you find her again?
RING! RING! RING!
The search party was over pretty quickly, you weren’t even sure if you would have been able to find her in the first place. Reaching for the phone from where you were sitting, you picked it up and pressed it to your ear while you relaxed your head back against the cushions.
“Yellow,” You answered with a heavy breath.
A gasp rang from the other line with excitement, “Green! Are we going in order of ROYGBIV?!”
The voice on the other line immediately erased the frown on your face, calming the anxiety that was brewing in your chest as soon as Robin came through when you needed her the most.
“Robs!” You greeted happily this time, “Aren’t you supposed to be at work?” you asked, sitting up somewhat.
She let out a “mhm!”, and you could hear some noise, probably something on the tv that she was playing to pass the time, “I’m calling you from work actually. I hope you aren’t too busy.”
You let out a sarcastic laugh, glaring across the small space at the innocent easel and canvas, “Not busy at all, quite literally just giving my art supplies the nastiest glare in the world right now.”
“Still nothing new?” Robin wondered sadly.
You reached for your coffee mug, taking a sip and humming a reply before speaking, “Yeah, I think I’m throwing in the towel for the day.”
“Well don’t stress it, I’m sure it’ll come to you in no time.” She said encouragingly.
There was a special bond you and Robin had despite not knowing each other for long. For you, it felt like you have known her forever, possibly the bestest friend you’ve ever had because you didn’t have many.
Every thoughtful word came from her heart and you could feel it in the way she spoke to you with sureness even if you weren’t entirely sure of it yourself.
Your stress began to mellow, giving yourself the chance to finally breathe, “Thanks Ro. I miss you.”
“I know, I miss you too, buttttt we won’t miss each other for long because I was wondering if you’d wanna come down to Hawkins tonight!”
Her voice was always filled with excitement but this time around you caught the glint of hopefulness — as if you would ever turn it down even when you clearly had work to do.
You sat up wiggling your shoulders, “What the occasion?”
“Joyce and Hop are hosting a housewarming barbecue and because they’ve been hearing so much about you, they’d really love to meet you if you don’t have anything going on.”
You nibbled on your lip absentmindedly, “Hop and Joyce are the triplets parents’ right?”
You coined El, Will, and Jonathan under the nickname the triplets because of how similar they looked despite not being fully blood related. If Nancy hadn’t explained to you that the El was technically the boys’ step sister, you would have never guessed it.
You could hear the faint ding coming from what you assumed was the customer service bell followed by her saying, “Correct! So are you in?”
Glancing over at the time on the clock, you estimated that you had just enough time to start baking and then a little extra to get ready. From what you had heard, Hop and Joyce were the most laid back and involved out of all the parents. Knowing this you were more so excited than intimidated – if Robin and the rest of the group loved them, then so would you.
“I’d be crazy to miss out on it, do you have an address?” You reached forward, picking up a ballpoint pen and napkin from your coffee table, ready to jot it down.
She mumbled under her breath, “Uhhh, hold on, I’m trying to remember.”
You were sure that you could picture the scene of her pinching her eyes shut and thinking especially hard with the “uh’s” and “um’s” from the other line. There was another voice in the background, a bit muffled yet closer and you wondered if it was Steve or their weirdo boss, Keith. Either way, you couldn’t hear what was being said, just the other person asking Robin something and her reply in pensive hums.
Then there was a slight shuffle, the phone feeling farther as she spoke. “Shit, here, talk to Steve while I try to get into El’s file.”
Your eyes widened and you sat up a little straighter, clearing your throat as you responded though you were sure she couldn’t hear you.
“O-oh, okay!”
Maybe it was because you spent a good chunk of your morning thinking about him and staring at the sketch of his shirtless body, but for some reason you had felt more skittish than normal. Almost debating on whether or not to hang up and let Robin call you back once she found the address. But it was just because you hadn’t spoken to Steve in five whole days.
It was Friday now and the last time you got to hear his voice is when he called you ‘sweet thing’ and you’d be lying to yourself if you said that you hadn’t been thinking about him saying it on repeat in your head — but that's besides the point.
It only took you five days of not speaking to him for you to realize that you missed him a lot more than you should’ve. That thinking about him the way that you were wasn’t entirely normal and the sketches even spoke for themselves. That night where he showed up to your gallery and spent the evening at yours was the catalyst to something inside of you that felt so foreign yet comforting.
By now it would be futile to try to pretend like you weren’t a plate of mush when it came to him.
“Hey, stranger.” He spoke smoothly.
His voice was cheery and you swore you could picture him leaned up on the counter with his phone pressed to his ear. A sight that you wish you could see with your own eyes instead of in your imagination.
You grunted out a short laugh, knowing there was no malice behind it, simply just trying to contain yourself, “Hiya, Steve.”
“How’s it going?” He asked with a short pause, “Being nicer to yourself?” There was a teasing lift to his voice that you caught making you roll your eyes playfully.
Laying back on the couch you kicked your legs up behind you, “I’m trying, but you know, I gotta say I’m a little annoyed at myself.”
He drew a breath in, voice coming out concerned as he spoke, “Yeah? Why’s that?”
“I’m a total idiot who forgot to ask the guy who bought me a dozen cronuts and my favorite latte for his number so I could thank him sooner,” you giggled, closing your eyes as you heard him laugh and the unease was replaced with humor.
“Well, if it makes you feel better, I’m an idiot for not leaving it. I just thought you wouldn’t want me flooding you with calls if I had your number.” He said it quietly trying not to be heard by Robin, but you ended up stifling your laughter as you heard her chirp in the background
“Oh, I already do that, and she doesn’t mind!” Robin quirked up as you heard him groan, hissing at her to be quiet.
“She really does and I don’t mind. one. bit.” You assured him, hoping he’d take you up on the offer and finally ask for your number.
He chuckled, humming before he spoke again, “But seriously, how are you?”
You let out an exasperated sigh, prompting an “uh-oh” from Steve who picked up on your underlying mood right away. Even if he hadn’t asked, you probably would have ended up telling him anyway.
“I tried painting today. Didn’t really end up going well, seeing as though I’m sprawled out on my couch right about now.” You grumbled slightly annoyed at yourself for this reason.
He sucked in a harsh breath of air, “Yikes, sorry to hear that, but hey! You’re trying and that's what matters,” he tried his best to be encouraging.
“I guess,” you replied.
“You’re doing it again,” he warned.
You furrowed your brows sitting up, “Doing what?”
“The whole being means to yourself thing,” he said obviously.
“No, I’m not,” you defended yourself though you know that’s exactly the path you were about to go down and it just so happened that Steve caught you.
“But you kinda were.” You could feel the small smile forming on his face because you know he sees right through the facade even through the phone.
You paused, guiltily sighing, “Yeah, I kinda was.”
The two of you shared a short laugh, his coming from his chest while yours came from your throat. The tightening of the muscle loosening with the sound of his laughter easing all of the pent up stress and anxiety within you like an instant cure.
“Well, stop it.” He murmured, “I know whatever you’re working on is gonna be great when it’s finished. For now it’s just gonna take a bit of time.”
That’s what you were hoping for, just a bit of time to get you out of this funk so that you could return back to your regular self that didn’t see creating art as a task. You wanted to get back to enjoying it wholeheartedly instead of being so hard on yourself.
You smiled into the receiver tucking the phone closer to your ear, “That’s really kind of you, Steve, thanks for saying that… and I'm sorry for being—”
He swooped in before you could finish the sentence not knowing what you could possibly be sorry for.
“Nope, no sorries either. No more being mean to yourself and no more apologizing unnecessarily.” His voice was laced with determination like you should know this by now.
You giggled faintly, shaking your head, “Fine, it’s a deal.”
There was a short pause of silence, wondering if you should tell him that he could get back to whatever he was doing instead of keeping you company over the phone, but he spoke first.
“Are you coming tonight?”
You hummed wiggling the pen in your hand, “Yeah, unless Robin can’t find the address.”
“She’s gonna find it, she just sucks at using the computer.” He joked lightly before you could hear Robin in the background.
“Oh shut up, I found it. Give me the phone!”
You giggled, moving yourself to sit up properly with a pen and napkin ready in hand to jot down the address.
“Okay… here’s Robs,” Steve said, getting ready to hand off the phone to Robin.
“See you tonight, Steve,” you said bubbly, excited to see him and the rest of your friends later in the day.
You could hear the phone being passed back to her from the slight shuffling, but it was quickly retracted back to Steve’s hand followed by Robin’s gasp.
“Wait!” He said hurriedly taking you aback, “You’re gonna wanna take Cornwallis instead of Mirkwood,” he began.
“Huh?” You asked confused.
“On the map, Mirkwood is the shorter route to Joyce and Hop’s but it’s a sketchy back road so don’t take it. Cornwallis is the safer route, granted it will take you a little longer but it’s safer so just…please, take Cornwallis.”
You bit your lip, holding back a smile that was borderline self indulgent because he almost sounded distressed. Like the thought of you taking the shortcut would send him into full panic mode and who were you to do that to him? Never would you ever think about worrying him like that.
“Okay, I’ll take Cornwallis. Promise.” You said firmly followed by a sigh of relief on the other line.
“Okay great, I’ll see you—sorry, I don’t know why, I’m saying that, I literally just said it five seconds ago.” He stumbled over his words apologizing unnecessarily.
You grinned, biting back laughter. “It’s alright, Stevie. I’ll see you tonight!”
The nickname had slipped without you even realizing it. A sweet sweet nickname that rolled off your tongue innocently while it made Steve’s heart pitter patter a little faster in his chest, almost making him go dizzy because it was you saying it to him.
“Y-yep, gotcha, see ya tonight.” He stuttered, pulling the phone away from him.
“You guys make me sick,” Robin muttered jokingly, flicking Steve’s forehead as she took the phone and began reading you the address on file.
It wasn’t long before you and Robin said your goodbyes, reminding you to take Cornwallis once again after Steve had shouted it out from across the store. She whispered something about him being totally overprotective, but you didn’t mind, if anything you found it endearing as he was looking out for you and you knew Robs was just teasing.
So your productive morning didn’t turn out the way that you had planned it to be. Instead of fulfilling the blank canvas at home, you headed out to pick out some things for the party knowing it would be rude to show up empty handed.
At the farmers market you picked up a bundle of fresh rhubarb and a carton of strawberries — a gift to Joyce who made the best strawberry rhubarb pie according to her children. Then at another stand you picked up two bottles of cider, black currant and apple ginger for Hopper.
The rest of the things you picked up were little gifts like an assortment of freshly made jams that came in cute little reusable glass jars, a bundle of herbs, and a gorgeous bouquet of bright sunflowers.
Once you had arrived back home, you committed most of your time to assembling dessert. A trifle recipe that you had bookmarked in a cookbook yet hadn’t gotten the chance to try to bake until today — though in hindsight you should’ve picked something a lot simpler, but you always like to see how much you could crunch your time.
It wasn’t long before dessert was sitting in the fridge and you were covered in flour and pastry cream as you got to work personalizing gifts for the three siblings: El, Will, and Jonathan. Their gifts were practically free, coming from your collection of office supplies, yet also coming from your heart.
El’s was a baby pink spiral notebook, college ruled with over 200 pages she could write her heart out in. You had decorated the outside cover with silver and gold stars and in cursive letters you had written “El’s Secret Journal” inside of a heart.
Will’s was a tan sketchbook with thick pages where ink and paints couldn’t bleed through. You kept the cover pretty plain, using sticker letters to title it “Will’s Spectacular Sketches'', and adding a smily face in the corner.
Jonathan’s was a photo album that would store his developed film pictures that he had told you were starting to pile up in a random shoe box in his closet. You used newspaper clippings of letters to spell out “Jonathan’s Photography” in order to achieve the vintage sorta look you knew he was into.
All of the goodies were packed into a thrifted wickered basket that the family could repurpose whenever they wanted. And it also meant easy transporting for you considering how many things were stuffed into the basket. Surprisingly enough, everything fit perfectly and you were crossing your fingers that the family loved it just as much as you did.
“Okay, c’mon,” You rubbed your hands together before getting to work on cleaning up your place.
Once you were done you quickly got into the shower, rinsing your body off of the perspiration and baking ingredients that clung to your skin.
It wasn’t long before you were dried and throwing on a simple outfit: a floral cami paired with overalls and strappy sandals to match. You dabbed on a bit of makeup before throwing on your everyday jewelry and rushing out of your bedroom
The time on the clock read a quarter to six and by now you were supposed to leave ten minutes ago — way to go for time management.
Quickly you slung your purse over your shoulder before grabbing everything and hitting the road to what you hoped wouldn’t be too long of a drive.You couldn’t wait to meet Joyce and Hopper and most of all you couldn’t wait to see your friends again… and especially the person whom you saw more than a friend.
Meanwhile the sun was setting over Hawkins and in the Byers-Hopper front yard was a group of kids too busy screaming their heads off playing tag while the others finished setting up to get together.
Nancy and Jonathan were busy setting up the picnic tables, trying to figure out a way for the paper plates not to fly off. Robin was helping Joyce inside the house, getting the veggies cut up and plated, though both of them knew they were really spending more time talking. And Eddie and Steve lingered around the grill helping Hop with the barbecue duties.
El, however, was not participating in tag, tired from chasing around her friends and wanting to catch a break as she stayed close to her fathers’ side and talked his ear off about the girl from Roane who was going to be here any minute now.
“You’re gonna love her, dad.” El bubbled watching as her dad flipped the burger patties and Steve held an aluminum pan out for him.
Hop’s chest puffed out, peering down at her. “From what I heard she sounds like you’re grandma, so I’m a tad bit concerned.”
The young girl frowned sadly, detaching from his arm. “That’s what Mike said.”
Eddie and Steve both held back their laughs watching the way Hop’s face had fallen at the sheer thought of being compared to Mike. It was obvious that the man still had a hard time accepting the fact that his own daughter would ever consider dating such a little twerp — but to each their own.
Hop coughed, shaking his head regretfully. “Well, in that case, I'll take it back. She sounds lovely, all of you can't stop yapping about her so she must be nice,” he rolled his eyes somewhat though El didn’t seem to catch it.
“The nicest!” El gushed happily, clapping her hands together.
Steve was smiling, not minding that the conversation was centered around you because… it was you. He honestly didn’t blame El for being so excited, after all they only got to see you a few days out of the week and when they did it was always something he looked forward to the most.
Eddie was the one who wiped the smile off his face, nudging him in the ribs with his elbow nearly making him drop the pan of burger patties,“Especially to Steve.”
“Asshole!” Steve shouted, regaining his grip on the pan and glaring at the metal head who shuffled a few inches away.
“Hey!” Hopper clanked the metal tongs together gaining the boy's attention, “Make fun of him all you want but don’t you dare drop the food. Spent way too much on all this crap and the last thing I need is dirt covered burgers.”
“Yeah, c’mon man, get it together.” Eddie chided with a grin as El giggled and shook her head, clearly amused by the grown men’s banter.
The sizzling of meat on the grill accompanied the shouts of the rest of the kids who were calling a timeout wanting to take a water break. The automatic porch light flickered on, giving light to the dim area as the sky turned darker with each passing minute.
“Isn’t she supposed to be here by now?” Eddie raised his brow, taking a look at the time on his watch.
“Probably stuck in traffic or something, Roane gets backed up pretty quickly.” Steve said, holding out the pan closer as Hop placed the cooked meats on top of one another.
Hop glanced around raising an eyebrow, “What’s so special about this girl, anyway? All I’ve been hearing for the past two weeks is Roane, Roane, Roane—”
Eddie snorted, crossing his arms over his chest, “Well for starters, she lives in Roane.”
The older man glared, responding sarcastically, “Wow, no kidding. Thanks Munson."
“Always my pleasure, sir.” Eddie saluted before patting Steve firmly on the back,“You. Why don’t you tell Hop about her since you two are soooo close?”
El giggled, reaching out to poke Steve on the cheek as he chuckled and shrugged away from her and Eddie’s teasing. But he couldn’t hold back his smile, not when it came to this and bragging about all the wonderful things that he had come to memorize about you.
“She’s an artist. Sells her own work at galleries and she gets commissioned for custom pieces from time to time.” He started, leaving out the bit about you painting an elaborate mural, knowing you’d like to tell them that yourself.
“And she bakes.” El chimed in.
Steve nodded with a smile before turning back to Hop, “And she’s kind, like insanely sweet, even to Mike and that’s saying a. lot. But she’s also super generous, gave Will a bunch of art supplies and will probably bring some more tonight—”
Hopper couldn’t help but interrupt the never ending list, pointing at him with the tongs, “Are you and her seeing each other or something?”
Steve blinked, shaking his head vigorously and pursing his lips. “W-what, no, we aren’t—”
“You sure?” Eddie tilted his head.
Steve groaned, narrowing his eyes at the metal head. “You’re literally friends with us, I’d tell you if we were.” he replied with a sigh giving him that knowing look.
The metal head shrugged, a teasing smirk pulling up at his lips, “Yeah, but I didn’t know you spent the night at her place until the next day.”
“You spent the night?” Hopper blurted crossing his arms over his chest.
Steve swallowed, “I wasn’t planning to, but there was a road closure and she offered. And like I’ve been telling everyone, nothing happened. We talked, then went to sleep.”
“And you got her coffee and did laundry before you left!” El added innocently, before slapping a hand over her mouth after Steve had widened his eyes at her.
“How did you know that?” He accused suspiciously as the girl took off shouting a “I don’t know” behind her.
Hopper and Eddie seemed entertained by the information while Steve on the other hand was mortified as to how she would know that unless you had told Robin who then had told Nancy who then told Max who then told her.
Knowing Robin for as long as he did, it was most likely her. You on the other hand had no idea that Robin was a blabber mouth and the world's worst liar — but she was still his best friend so there was not much he could do about it.
“Husband duties already?” Hop joked, snapping Steve out of his worries.
He snorted, gripping the pan tightly in his hold, “I’m sure Joyce would have appreciated it when you and her started seeing each other.”
Hopper’s chest rumbled with a deep laugh and his face fell with a smirk, “Yeah, kid, I’m sure she did, but the difference is Joyce was my girlfriend but you, my friend, haven’t even asked—”
“You know what… that’s not the point!” Steve pinched his eyes shut, shaking his head to himself before opening them back up to see the smug smirks on Hop and Eddie’s faces, “I’m not a slob, I wasn’t going to leave her place without cleaning up after myself and at least thanking her for letting me stay over.”
The two men looked between each other, letting their shoulders fall with a shrug, “Sure, whatever you say.”
Steve was about to respond, a snarky comment about how Eddie shouldn’t be talking because his dating life was about zero to none and how Hopper should help Joyce with carpooling instead of rushing out of the house to get donuts every morning. But the remarks didn’t get a chance to break free as the front door of the home flung wide open.
“She’s here!” Robin shouted, jogging down the porch steps and whipping past the men at the grill setup.
He watched as she waved her hands up in the air stopping at the end of the driveway where your car had been approaching with the headlights dimming. As the yellow beacon of lights died, the car parked and he could clearly see through the glass beginning to unbuckle your belt as you smiled and waved.
“I’ll be right back,” Steve muttered, hastily thrusting the aluminum pan into Eddie’s hands as he jogged over to your car to greet you.
You should’ve known Robin wasn’t going to let you get out of the car before pulling you into a tight hug within the cramped space of your driver's seat. But you didn’t mind one bit, even if you were straining your neck to fully reach up around her and hug her just as snuggly.
“I’m so happy you came!” Robin squealed against you before letting you go.
“Thanks for inviting me,” you spoke gratefully as you took the hand she extended to help you out of the car.
And again you were met with “hello’s” and “hi’s” this time in rapid fire from the kids who quickly flocked around your car the moment they heard Robin screaming her head off. You honestly didn’t know if you had gotten to say hello to all of them before they ran off to wherever they were headed.
“C’mon, I’ll introduce you to Hop and Joyce!” She singsonged, skipping away before she had heard you say that you were going to grab some things first.
It already felt a lot better being here with your friends than being stuck at your apartment all alone tonight. These days the thought of leaving your sacred space to hang out with your friends in the next town over didn’t feel so overwhelming. If anything it was a tempting every second thought that crossed your mind as you enjoyed their company just as much as they did yours.
For you, nights like this used to be so rare, filled with loneliness and pacing your apartment fighting the urge to cancel plans — if you had any, that is. It felt nicer to be wanted, even in a simple setting like this one on a week night that should’ve been spent at home with work being done.
If you lived closer you were sure nights like this would be more common than not.
“Here, I’ll help.”
You felt him before you heard him and it honestly was the best type of anticipation that you could sense in your bones. Something you had picked up on from the first time that you met him. The way that he was always near whenever you were around and it was safe to say that you liked it.
Turning your head over your shoulder, you screeched excitedly.
“Steve!”
Your arms threw themselves around Steve’s neck, pulling yourself to him as he braced you with his arms wrapped around your back. He could feel you smiling against his collarbone as you tiptoed to try to reach the rest of him before eventually giving up and standing comfortably in his hold.
The only kind of hug that you and Steve ever shared was the fully immersed one where you’re both chest to chest, every inch of exposed skin sweeping against each other as you took one another in. It’s the only kind of hug either of you know when it comes to each other, the one that feels the most comfortable and right.
“Hey, you,” He murmured into your hair, taking in the scent that his memory wouldn’t let him forget.
Though it had already been five days since he used the collection of Body Shop products that littered your bathroom, it felt like he couldn’t wash it away, even overtop his cologne. And even if it was just his mind playing tricks on him, like torture for being away from you for so long — it felt nicer when the smell comes from you.
When your hair danced in the wind and filled the air with vanilla like a cloud that smothered Steve. He didn’t even dare to stop his senses from committing the blossoming jasmine and ripened peaches of a garden that you’re standing in the heart of to memory.
Hugs like this are a sort of delicacy to him that he hoped is the same for you, though he’s not sure if his Old Spice even comes close to the allure that you are — he can only hope.
“How was the drive?” He asked, finally fighting the urge to stop taking your aroma in.
He loosened his arms briefly to pull back and catch a glance at your face that was tucked to his chest. You retract only inches, staring up at him through your lashes with a smile never ceasing.
“Wasn’t too bad! I did almost get lost but I took a u-turn and took Cornwallis like you said.”
You forgot to tell him that you nearly took Mirkwood after having no clue of where you were going and your eyesight is too bad for you to read the street names on the rusty signs. It’s was already buried in the back of your mind, too happy that you made it here safely… his arms and the home, of course.
His arms tighten around you at the admission, squeezing you gently as he gave you an apologetic smile, “Sorry, you know if I wasn’t working today I would’ve come and picked you up.”
It’s not just something he’s said for show, you know he meant it wholeheartedly and if only he wasn’t working you would’ve taken him up on the offer. The passenger seat of his beemer is way more comfortable, not because it was a luxury car, but because he the one sitting beside you getting you where you need to be safely.
“That’s alright, Steve,” You reassured him before hugging him close again, “thank you though.”
It isn’t long before the hug is interrupted by the shouts from Robin who is clearly amused by the sight yet very hungry and ready to sit down and feast. Steve muttered something unintelligible while you turned your head and flashed her a half smile from where she stood in between the home owners.
Steve knew the pointed look Robin gave him from across the driveway, the one that reads “don’t start with me!” and because of this he knew it’s best to let you go even when all he wanted was five more seconds to hold you like this.
He tapped the small of your back with his fingertips before he released, “Go,” he begins, chuckling as Robin begins counting down out loud like a threat. “I’ll grab the rest of the stuff.”
“Okie dokie,” You laughed, letting your arms drop from around his neck, leaving behind the rest of the stuff for Steve to carry.
Your fingers twiddle on their own accord as you approach the couple, smiling shyly, “Helloooo.”
“Hey, kid.”
“Hi, honey!”
Robin held her arms out wide, motioning to them both, “This is Hop and Joyce. Joyce and Hop, meet my friend from Roane!”
“Thank you for having me,” you beamed, unsure if you should stick your hand out and be formal.
Thankfully, Joyce didn’t hesitate to close the space between you, wrapping her arms around you lovingly and giving your back a rub, “Of course, honey, we’re so glad you were able to make it!”
She reminds you a lot like Dorothea, only less intimidating and shorter. But she’s just as warm and inviting, making you feel comfortable as if you’ve been here a million times before. As she pulled away, she gave your shoulders one last kind squeeze before you looked towards the tall giant beside her.
On the outside he looked scuffy, a thick mustache and a mean scar above his left eyebrow. But you know he’s the father to three wonderful and good hearted kids who praise him for being the best in the entire world, so you know he’s far from that — if anything his Hawaiian print button down would’ve told you anyways.
He was the one who broke the short silence, tapping the metal tongs together as he smirked, “So you’re the girl my kids won’t shut up about, huh?” He said jokingly.
Will and El don’t miss a beat to whine “Dad!” from the picnic tables where they were ready to eat.
You grinned walking into his side as you gave him a small hug, “I suppose so, it’s nice to meet you.”
“You too,” He nodded, patting your back and letting you step away.
The car door slammed shut and Steve was striding over with his hands full, “You can lock it now,” he said with a chuckle.
You nodded, digging your hands into your purse to find the keys as you clicked the fob and watched the headlights flash twice before hearing the beep.
“Thank you, again,” you said quietly, reaching for the goodie filled basket and taking the weight from him as he hums.
Turning on your heel, you held it out towards them, Robin already long gone and joining the rest of the group of watches from their seats.
“These are for you guys and the family,” You announced, letting Hopper take it from you as he began to inspect the contents.
“Oh, you didn’t have to,” Joyce pouted with gratitude.
You shook your head reassuringly,“It’s really no problem! I didn’t want to show up empty handed anyways,” you insisted.
“There’s a bunch of local stuff from the farmers market in there, but I also customized a few notebooks for the three based on their hobbies and whatnot.” You explained watching as he pulled out one of the bottles of cider and began reading the label.
“Can’t wait to add this one to the bar,” Hop snickered, waving the bottle around in front of Joyce as she scoffed and rolled her eyes playfully.
She looked at you, pretending to conceal her mouth as she muttered, “He added a bar cart to the kitchen and now he thinks he can collect all the alcohol he wants.”
The married couple's banter made you smile, happy to see that even in their middle age they were still finding ways to poke fun at each other without actually hurting the others feelings.
Hop looked down at her with fake annoyance eyeing around the yard. “Yeah, well, this barbecue was actually supposed to be me giving everyone a grand tour but all everybody wants to do is stay outside.”
Joyce slapped his arm lightly , “Hop, you’re gonna bore her, please,” she said embarrassingly.
You clutched your hands together behind your back, jutting your chin up with piqued interest, hoping to actually get a tour of the place. From the outside alone it looked cozy yet simple. Rose bushes lined the porch along with rocking chairs on the wooden deck.
“I wouldn’t mind a little tour, the place looks beautiful by the way.” You said cheerfully.
Hopper grunted, passing a smug smirk towards his lady before trading the cold dessert Steve was holding for his grilling tongs.
“You’re on meat duty. Come on, kid.”
The man began leading the way towards the front door before you offered Joyce another grateful smile as you followed along.
“Scream if he starts going on a home improvement tangent.” She called out half jokingly as you turned around and flashed her a thumbs up.
Steve chuckled to himself, flipping open the grill, “She’s too nice to do that. She’ll probably stand there and let him go on and on.”
Reaching for the aluminum pan that sat on the grill’s edge, he began taking off the last pieces of cooked meat hoping to get away before he smelled of smoke.
“She’s real pretty, Steve,” Joyce nudged him lightly with her elbow.
With a kind smile, he replied,“she really is, isn’t she?”
“So how long have you two been seeing each other?” She asked, genuinely curious and unaware of the circumstances around you both.
He furrowed his brows, lips twitching as he tried to hold back a grin, “We aren’t…I haven’t — we’re not dating, just…yeah, just not dating.”
“You haven’t asked her out yet?” She speculated.
He shook his head, shutting off the heat and closing it with a loud metal clang,“yes…well no, no because we’re just friends — friends, that’s it.”
The quietness from the picnic table should have been a red flag considering that everyone was usually talkative, especially the kids. But their silence meant one thing: eavesdropping.
“Now that’s just bullshit,” Mike barked out while Steve and Joyce made their way over with pans.
Steve glared, placing it down directly in front of the little shithead, “You Wheelers just love the word ‘bullshit’ don’t you?”
Truly, Steve put up with a lot when it came to the kids and while he had a soft spot for them, they were on thin ice these days because of their meddling. They stuck their noses where it didn’t belong, barging in on him at work to talk his ear off about dating advice as if they were the experts who could solve his problem.
“I mean he’s not wrong,” Max began shrugging her shoulders, “friends don’t hug or look at each other like that.”
He furrowed his brows, taking a seat in the middle of the open space,“like what?”
“You know what,” The red head retorted with a scoff.
He pursed his lips tightly tapping his knuckles against the grain. “No, please, someone enlighten me.” Steve challenged, looking at the faces around the table that looked away from his hardened gaze.
The last thing he wanted for tonight was to be pestered on by a bunch of fifteen year olds who thought that they had the whole dating thing down the tee. Half of them could barely even stand in the presence of their crush without fainting and the others were on and off again for stupid little things.
Lucas was the brave one, speaking up with his hands thrown dramatically in the air. “Like you guys long for each other! You act like you haven’t seen her in ages but it’s only been like five days.”
“You rushed the car like you hadn’t seen her in months,” Dustin added feeling less intimidated.
Steve’s eyes widened, pointing his finger at his best friend across the table, “So did Robin!”
She held her hands up in defense, letting her shoulders come up cautiously. “Because I’m like her closest friend out of all of us, you dingus! I have car rushing privileges.”
He clenched his eyes shut,“Oh my god,” he breathed heavily when he opened them back up, “what’s the big deal?”
It was a real question — what was the big deal about him being just as happy as everyone else to see you?
“The big deal is you obviously like her but you’re just sitting here not doing anything about it.” Mike gestured, half glaring at the man.
“Look, what we’re saying is you need to just take the chance and ask her out.” Max put it simply, glancing around at everyone else who nodded their heads.
“The worst she could say is no.”
It’s not their fault, the kids are young and don’t have much experience out of their little friend group that they’ve established, but what they don’t understand is that you saying no isn’t the worst case scenario — it actually quite the opposite.
Steve Harrington had been rejected many times before, and he had been to move forward with life, taking their answer for what it was and not trying to push. Sure, him asking you out and you saying no would totally leave him heartbroken for a few weeks, maybe even months, but he was never going to try to force you to feel the same way about him.
But that was the problem… he knows you feel the same.
Feelings are reciprocated between the both of you, something that had been developing and brewing over the course of just two weeks. And Steve’s no genius but he picked up on all the little things you do that affirm what he knows.
It like a looped movie in his mind, a compilation of moments that the two of you had shared:
Glances from across the living rooms when no one else is paying attention.
Lingering touches that feel like electricity sparking up his heart.
Gentle words of solace, like a sacred promise that you’d never break.
Laughter that is so contagious and never ending.
There’s no denying it, especially in the way that you and Steve acted when people were watching. A space or world that you two created and transported to whenever it’s just you and him. Nothing could ever be so easy to see through, it’s not even hidden in plain sight — just evidently clear.
For once in his life his gut and heart worked in tandem, not trying to fight it off the feelings or fleet away. He shows it in the way he conducts himself around you, not holding back on the longing hugs or the sweet words, totally just letting himself be.
Things, however change when he thinks about moving further, like his brain switching and telling him to not trust his gut or his heart because it’ll only blow up in his face at the end. That this… whatever this was, it was too good to be true.
Steve could never see it in himself to be the man you would ever want to be with, even if you were all in already.
He can imagine that after everything you’ve told him about your past, that it can’t be easy for you to trust again, to give yourself wholeheartedly to another person after all those years yet here you were slowly giving yourself to Steve in the same way he was handing himself over to you.
You’ll hold him, give him the safe space to talk about anything, his awful parents and his stupid boring life, but he doesn’t know if he’s strong enough to hold you. If he has it in himself to give you the kind of love that you deserve… if the love he has inside of him would even suffice.
You’ve been hurt.
He had been the one dishing out the hurt.
But you’ve healed.
And he’s grown.
Yet it still feels like the two of you could be dancing with your hands tied and he can’t live to see himself be the one to hurt you — he can’t.
When Steve lost Nancy, it ate him alive, being so stupid and selfish for pushing her past the point of no return all because he couldn’t put his ego aside. But he’d been long over that, receiving her forgiveness and knowing that Jonathan loved and cherished her more than he ever could.
Losing you would kill him, just the thought of breaking your heart was sending him into a spiral of his thoughts.
He doesn’t even hear Eddie and Jonathan hissing at the kids to shut their traps and stop being so nosey. All of it feels like deafening silence even with the crickets chirping loudly in the grass and the dying charcoal sizzle in the grill a few feet away.
There’s a blank stare across his face, the expression so dull and lifeless, like his soul just got ripped away from him. Like a scene in a movie where the world goes on and on yet he’s still sitting there waiting for something to change.
“Steve, hey,” Robin said panicked, beginning to sit up on her haunches to get closer to him, “Dude, c’mon.” She said again, this time waving her hand in front of his face trying to pull him out of there.
The only thing he sees in front of him is his worst nightmare: you sobbing with your head in your hands, shouting that you never want to see him again as you get up and point him out the door.
No matter how loud Robin called for him to snap out of it and Joyce shaking his arm almost pleading — he couldn’t escape it.
The monster he’d become if he ever hurt you.
“What did I miss?” You piped up with your hand coming down to rest on Steve’s shoulders as you took a seat next to him.
It’s only then that he felt himself coming back down to Earth. Grounded knowing that you were right here in front of him with a smile on your face rather than a frown with tears coating your cheeks. You were happy right here with him, not trying to get away.
But your happy face quickly dropped with concern, hearing as though no one is answering you, not even Steve. He can feel it, the question on the tip of your tongue ready to ask him if everything is alright, and he doesn’t quite know the answer.
“I’m gonna go get a drink inside,” Steve finally spoke, getting up and leaving without saying another word to you.
Your eyes followed him, taking in his quick footing that took him through the front door in a matter of seconds. With your eyebrows furrowed, your voice drawled out, “Is he…okay?”
Looking around the table, the kids don’t dare to meet your eyes, not even innocent Will and El and that’s how you know something is up. Eddie only flashed you an apologetic smile as he shrugged his shoulders and took a swig of his beer. Nancy and Jonathan don’t even meet your eyes, theirs zeroing in on the living room window, trying to see where he went.
It’s Robin who takes a deep breath and lets her shoulders drop, “We don’t know.”
Joyce brings her hand to your arm, rubbing it warmly as she grimaces behind her smile, “I think he just needed some air, honey.”
You swallowed, nodding your head as you brace your hands on the wood and begin pushing yourself up, “I’m gonna go check on him.”
They didn’t try to stop you, insisting that it’s best for Steve to be alone right now because they truly don’t know what to do. The conversation had gone from all in good nature to triggering in a matter of seconds.
You stepped through the front door making a beeline towards the kitchen where you could hear the ruckus of cans and bottles being shifted around in the fridge.
“Steve?” You called out faintly, creeping around the wall to peek at him where he was hunched over in front of the appliance.
He turned his head over his shoulder, his face softening with just you in his sights, “Hey. Umm did you want a water or a soda?” He asked, holding up the two beverages in his hands.
You shook your head, watching as he forced a smile and put them back into the refrigerator, shutting it closed.
“Are you ok?” You approached him as he straightened up.
Steve nodded his head as if he was trying to convince himself, “Y-yeah, I’m fine—”
You knew he wasn’t. His easy going aura was replaced with someone that was tense and passive, trying his very best to put up a front.
“Did the kids say something stupid?”
‘Insanely stupid and it sent me into a mental spiral’, he thought.
“When don’t they?” He joked, rubbing a hand behind his neck as he tried to advert from your gaze.
You tsked, biting your lip as you watched him closely. “You usually don’t storm off like that, just had me worried, that’s all.”
“You shouldn’t worry about me.” He assured you, as if that would make your concern disappear.
“But I do,” You professed, no hesitation behind your voice, just you and your brutal honesty.
There’s not much to say, not when you both know what’s brewing between the both of you right here all alone. But in all honesty, the pot was boiling over, the point of no return but to just let it all go.
There’s so much Steve wanted to say, like the way he worries about you too. How he thinks about you throughout the day, that you’re taking care of yourself and being kinder like you had promised you would. Or how he wants you to know you can call him whenever you’re feeling alone and need the company — he’d drive to you no matter the hour whenever you called.
“Are you gonna drive all the way home tonight?” He started, looking out the window where the dark sky already clouded over the town.
“What?” You asked, clearly taken aback by the sudden question.
He swallowed, looking back at you, “It’s dark and I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to drive home all alone. I mean you just got here, but by the time you leave it’ll be even darker and the roads are hard to see and—”
“Steve,” You whispered quietly, grabbing his hand and giving it a squeeze.
It’s enough for him to shut up, to want to reel in the moment of your touch on his again, even if it’s just for a split second.
“Yeah?”
“Do you want me to spend the night at yours?”
He cursed at himself, realizing that’s what he must have sounded like. A pig who was trying to get into your pants when really that’s not what he was insinuating at in the first place. He just wanted you to be safe.
“I—I’m sorry… you could ask Robin or Nance to spend the night at theirs if you want, I just really don’t want anything bad happening tonight if you decide to drive—”
“Steve,” You started again, this time your voice firmer as you weaved your fingers through his and never letting up on your grip.
“Do you want me to spend the night at your place?” Your voice was sure, confident yet soft, letting him know that you’re not trying to make fun of him.
He knows you understand what he means.
“I do,” he breathed, nodding his head and giving your hand a squeeze, “I really want you to.”
“Then I’ll spend the night at yours.”
Your words were all it took for him to relax, forgetting why he was so wound up and anxious in the first place.
All of it doesn’t seem to matter when his heart was already in your hands. You have all of him – his deepest fears and his wildest dreams. He’s committed to you like a promise, something he knows he doesn’t have to hold out hope for any longer because he’s strong enough.
You knew it all along and he finally started to feel it.
💌 reblogs, tags, comments, + likes are greatly appreciated! leave a comment and let me know if want to be added to my taglist!! 💌
a/n: chapter three is finally here!!!! thank you all for being so patient and sticking around!!! we're finally seeing some momentum picking up when it comes to glitch reader and steve...i wonder what they did at his place ;) HEHEEHHE (yes i am evil cackling bcs i have tricks up my sleeve 'cowboy like me' style) as always, a big big big thank you to my sweetest effie @translatemunson for helping me out with proofreading and guiding me throughout the whole process of writing -- theres no one i'd rather spill my guts to other than you, I LOVE YOUUUUU!!!! happy reading to all!!! 🙈🩷
taglist: @translatemunson @kennedy-brooke @manda-panda-monium @tvserie-s-world @givemeth @steveharringtonswife @astolenkiss @loving-and-dreaming @awkotaco24 @engenelxver @elfiaaaa @pbs-theundeadmaggot @johnricharddeacy @gaysludge @scoopshxrrington @micheledawn1975 @ihatepeanutss @bakugouswh0r3
#munsonsreputation#steve harrington fluff#steve harrington angst#steve harrington imagine#steve harrington fic#steve harrington stranger things#steve harrington x fem!reader#steve harrington x y/n fluff#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington x you#steve harrington x fem#steve x y/n#steve x reader#steve harrington x fem!baker#steve harrington x fem!artist#stranger things imagine#stranger things x reader#stranger things#steve harrington#stranger things fic#stranger things fluff#stranger things steve#steve stranger things#taylor swift x stranger things#steve harrington x taylor swift
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hi!!! how ya doing???
have you listened to skz ai covers?
i recently saw a han jisung cover of ‘treat me like a sl*t’ by kim petras and i thought it fit him so well. i’m not the best at scenarios but check me out:
reader and hannie have been in a relationship for a few months and sex is mostly soft bc the reader doesn’t want to make our cutie uncomfortable.
ofc han being the desperate man he is wants to be completely ruined by reader.
so he starts bratting out, interrupting phone calls, flopping directly on top of you, etc.
so you obvs have to punish him
so one day (or night) y’all are about to get down. do the deed. butter the biscuit.
idk how this part will play out exactly but you get down to business and after you make him repeat his safeword (ssc) you ask him if he knows exactly what he’s in for, bc you’re not going gentle rn.
smth like “i think i’ve spoiled you too much, so i’m going to give you exactly what you deserve. and you’ll take everything i give you.”
so he says “please….treat me like a slut, *insert title of choice*”
i’m not good at this but you can imagine right???? desperation in his lust-widened eyes, swallowing slightly, heart shaped adam’s apple bobbing in his throat?
if you leave him with sore muscles and several marks all over his body (which he will absolutely brag about, skz are sick of it lol) then that’s between the two of you.
anyways, make sure to drink plenty of water, eat good food and sleep well!!!
hellooo i’m doing very good i hope you are too! and thank u for ur kind words!! please be sure to take care of yourself as well <33
i have not listened to skz ai covers! i kinda tend to avoid ai stuff but i’m glad it could spark this idea in you hehe i agree i think it suits hannie very well~ have u seen this compilation of him sticking his tongue out…i definitely think that’d be another one of his attempts at acting out to hint that he wants you to be rough w him and put him in his place…jisung is a man of many talents and knowing how to push your buttons is one of them
yes i can absolutely imagine that awed, irresistible doe-eyed look he’d gaze up at you with when you finally decide to give him what he’s been aching for so badly. he’s so adorably obvious abt it you’d catch on right away, but seeing how far he’ll go is part of the fun!! his heart-shaped adam’s apple ㅠ i think it’d make him especially crazy if you rest your hand on his throat as you tell him exactly how a brat like him gets dealt with, feeling the way his breathing picks up and how he swallows nervously under ur palm 💓 suddenly he’s not so mouthy anymore, n all he can mumble out is that shy little plea
he would most definitely try to show off abt it to skz LMAOO he would be so proud wearing low cut shirts or letting his shirt/shorts ride up to casually reveal the marks you left all over him…he worked hard to earn them after all!
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i know why u aint shifting
sorry for the like acc insane shiftok style title but i wanna say this:
you aren't shifting, and you don't know why. i'll tell u something that may not be true for everyone, but is true for most people. you are doing too much. what i mean is, the whole obsession over shifting, shifting methods, begging shifters for the meditation/subliminal/method they used, when in reality you're actually hurting yourself by doing this. i've gotten so sick of even searching up "shifting method" or "void state" or "law of assumption" because there's no new information that'll magically make me shift. all i need is to realize that it's mine and the only thing stopping me is me, and how stupid does that sound? yeah. so stop searching for a new magical "everyone is shifting with this their first try" method, bc that's (kindly) bs, and just know you've already shifted. go about your day doing robotic affirmations (or don't, doesn't change the endpoint) saying "i am already in my desired reality". live your day as your dr self. so if you're spending 4 hours doing homework while watching a show, that's not cr you, that's dr you. approach your life with this mindset, and when you "attempt to shift" follow a minimalist approach. i literally tell myself "i don't even need a method because I've already shifted." the most i do is count to 100 and then affirm for like 2 minutes and fall asleep, which is pushing it at that. and i tell myself like ok who tf cares if i fall asleep in the middle? not me girl. idc. bc guess what!! my desired reality will not refuse itself to me because my body fell asleep at the number 64 instead of the number 100. like how stupid does that even sound to say. so stop overdoing it, approach your dr as you are already living it (even when you're just eating an apple bc believe it or not dr you is also a regular real person who has moments where they're just eating an apple in silence), and don't dtm on shifting methods. they only work for certain people and if by now, 3 years into your shifting journey, doing methods hasn't helped you, it ain't gonna hurt to give this a shot. i call this method the not a method method. bc it's not a "method" and there aren't steps or requirements, just know you're in your desired reality and don't put too much into it. i hope this made sense, i'm deliriously tired rn. love you guys and lmk if this works for you or helps u feel better.
#reality shifter#shifting#shifting advice#shifting consciousness#reality shifting#shiftblr#shifting community#reality shift#shifter#shifters#shifttok#shifting motivation#shifting blog#shifting antis dni
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.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
all of the girls you’ve loved before
EDIT: just realized i fucked up one of the text messages, that migraine was ROUGH
the title kinda doesn’t fit the chapter but it kinda does but i’m so dehydrated and sleep deprived idk
anyways welcome to season two!! thank you all to the folks who have been around for a while-and if ur just now stopping in hello! i’m Ro and i write smaus and fanfiction! rn i’m writing a lot of mha bc brainriot but i pinky promise i’ll do some more fandoms once this series is over 🫶
pls enjoy i love u all💚💚💚💚💚💚💚 once again i’m asking for ideas for fics or just questions abt me!!! if you wanna know what fandoms i’m in or what ships/ x readers i’ll write and make smau’s over i can answer!!! just send me a note for my inbox and it’ll be answered!!
fun facts! ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
- GUESS WHO FIGURED OUT HOW TO ADD MORE PHOTOOOOOOOOS “prepare to be sick of me”
- y/n and bkg have been talking non STOP bro like texting calling all that shit, hitoshi is SICK of walking out into the living room or kitchen and seeing y/n on the phone with bkg (even tho she has to deal with him and kaminari but whatever)
- whenever bakugou doesn’t know how to respond to anything he SPRINTS to his friend group, it’s very amusing
- hitoshi and y/n are best friends and spend a lot of time together, thus they are slowly becoming the same person! including their set of questions they like to ask ppl bc it’s “fun”
- when momo is super busy her assistant sometimes reads her messages just in case there’s no emergency or anything and always giggles when it’s one of her friend’s having a meltdown (especially with the gc name, very entertaining to see ur boss be in a gc like that)
- bakugou also asked y/n a bunch of questions one night and that’s what lead to them ranking all the t.s albums (it ended in chaos)
- (bakugou listened to taylor swift after that call)
- hitoshi and shoto know literally everything abt each other, either as dirt or just out of love, no one knows
- (it’s out of love)
- mina and kirishima have been going on a lot of dates recently….who knows what will happen………
- i did random users guys 😁😁😁😁 how do we feel😁😁😁😁
- y/n sees said tweet and… goes a little silly if you will
- yeah toshi and kami are so gay even random strangers can tell bruh
-kami is a bit of an idiot for not just, texting, toshi but whatever we still love him
←Prev┊˚✧ ┊Next →
·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ updates every wednesday and sunday! happy wildest dreams sunday ✧.*
·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ TAGLIST IS OPEN just message or comment: @iiilovemilfs @0anodite0 @bakugouswh0r3 @amethyst123 @nijirosz @bakugoukatsukiwifiu @allnamesredacted @ch3rryhaze @ectoplasmictoast @cathwritestragediesnotsins @tati-the-fangirl @autumnfay @call-me-prodigy @chuugarettes
#smau#bakugou x reader#bakugou katsuki#sero hanta#denki kaminari#kirishima eijirou#mina ashido#iida tenya#midoriya izuku#yn#shoto todoroki#hitoshi shinsou#ochako urakara#momo yaoyaruzo#jirou kyouka#my hero academia#mha#my hero academia social media au#my hero academia x reader#my hero academia smau#wildest dreams#wildest dreams sunday#social media au
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“You were scared. Of him.” BABY BOY DID YOU EVEN HEAR WHAT SHE SAID ABOUT THE GAMES??
how i love when there’s a letter to feel guilty about, from beyond the grave.
“Or that if you’re out on cold nights when the breeze chills your skin, you’ll think of us.” THERE IT IS!!!
“Alas, that love, so gentle in his view, / Should be so tyrannous and rough in proof!” the way that this is their relationship summary-
the fact that he sent the bread and the water only to buy her trust back is very reasonable and therefore disturbing.
SHE WOULD HAVE DIED WITHOUT HIS MOTHER’S SCARF!! she still cries for ruining something coryo gave her even after last night. I AM UNWELL!!
i just know that lucky and dr gaul are both losing it at the back for not having cameras in the vents. they’re very close to the end of the games yet they cannot see what is happening.
even the girl who had planned to stay still and wait for her end resorts to survival when fate knocks on her door and there is too much to lose.
okay we’re gonna rock with the same numbering system for this one bc we have SEVERAL points to go over.
(also i did have to reread it rq before i answered this bc i wrote and edited this like two weeks ago lol)
1. i mean,, at least he’s kinda self aware HAHAHA. actually very SELF aware and not very contextually observant rn. like babe you KNOW how terrified she was already and now the only person in this whole place who she trusts has started swinging too?! ZERO critical thinking skills.
2. yeahhhhh yk i had to do it 🤭 at first when i was writing it i was like “this is way too wordy” but then i was like “raye,,, duh words are her whole thing don’t be dumb” so i let it go on as long as it needed to haha. like i can see it SO vividly like it was probably hard to read i just KNOW she covered that whole sheet in writing without an inch to spare. i also feel like for her it wasn’t enough, but she would never complain or dare ask for another sheet.
3. title drop let’s goooooo (there will be more i think i do this a few times lol)
4. no bc that quote was so perfect i’ve been sitting on it since i started writing this series it’s been rotting in my notes waiting to be used and i just 🥹 of COURSE that’s what she would use as her real confession i’ll actually puke ab it.
as much as he thought the monologue was a confession, it really wasn’t. he heard what he wanted to hear, that she loved him and cared about him. which she does, but her intention was to beg and plead with him to be good and stay that way. she had no receipts besides his namesake and where he lived to base this theory off of, but i think after they discussed the tragedy of coriolanus at length she just wanted to hammer home that he is not what his name would suggest. this letter though was the realest confession she would give, through written word, and i think that’s very real to who she is, especially being so far from home and her family and her safe space.
5. pretending that he wanted her to help jessup was literally all he could do!! to him, what’s the alternative? give her the cold shoulder in the most vulnerable (likely final) days of her life? he couldn’t do that even if he wanted to, i think. i don’t think it successfully buys her trust, but i do think it is so motivational for her to just know that at the very least he is still there.
6. omg yeah me too i am SICK. she’s crying and apologizing knowing damn well he can’t even hear it or see what she’s doing but she feels just awful even though it means she would survive. as if that’s not the whole reason he gave it to her. he gave her the go ahead to use his mothers scarf to kill someone if she had to- and she feels that guilty about using it to save herself?? i’ll puke ab this actually she is so sweet. she cares about him so so deeply and i think a massive part of her fear, that kept her up all night, was that that fact that she loves him cares did not change.
7. yeah they did NOT think that one through and ik it’s just eating dr. gaul ALIVE bro. this could also be the beginning (assuming the games do continue- who knows) of the trackers that monitor heart rates and vitals of tributes.
8. OKAY YES so i’m gonna tie this into point 6 too bc i feel like that’s the manifestation of this internal battle she’s having. if she had originally planned to give up her life at the very beginning, i can so easily see the guilt that she’s feeling over every little thing she’s doing to preserve her own life beyond that point. so not only is she ruining his late mothers beautiful scarf, she’s also betraying herself. the “old her”, if you will. she shouldn’t be alive anyways, she will die soon anyways, so it feels like a waste to ruin this scarf in the process when she likely believes it will be peeled off her dead body regardless. but she still does it.
she told herself that coryo was what changed that plan- that she wanted to win for him, but i don’t even know that that’s fully true. maybe it was about saving herself all along, but she felt too horribly guilty about the circumstances to even admit that to herself. especially now that she’s starting to devolve mentally, she opens the compact knowing that its contents will kill the boys that are after her, but immediately she’s going “oh, it looks like salt” and committing to that narrative so desperately so she can hide from herself that now not only is she ruining the scarf to save herself, that she’s also directly causing fatal harm to others which she has always sworn she would never do.
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a list of friendly reminders for all my fellow fic writers (bc i’m struggling rn and need to hear these myself):
it’s okay to take a break/let yourself rest. you don’t need an excuse ! if you’re tired, lay down. you can always write more when you have more energy (hot tip: you will likely cry less tears of frustration too if you follow this step).
it’s okay to not spend every single waking moment of your free time writing (especially if you’re exhausted, sick, or having a bad day). you are still purposeful, productive, and cool regardless.
it’s okay to abandon wips if they no longer bring you joy or you just aren’t feeling them anymore ! and no one is allowed to bully you about it. this is your creative time—spend it writing something you actually enjoy. write for YOU !
it’s okay to go on hiatus. you can always come back once inspiration hits again or you can disappear forever ! it’s up to you completely.
it’s okay to post new chapters/update wips sporadically. forcing yourself to stick to a strict schedule is the direct result of late stage capitalism ! post daily or weekly or monthly or yearly or once in your life—whatever is best for you, go for it ! (remember: no one is paying you for this).
it’s okay to write short or long chapters or anything in between ! this isn’t a high school essay. there’s no required word count, so write as much or as little as you want.
it’s okay to write for fun. it’s okay to write with no idea where your story is going. it’s okay to write without a plan.
it’s okay to not have a beta reader ! if you like it, post it. your own opinion of your work is enough.
it’s okay to project onto your characters. it’s okay to kin them and relate to them and self-insert. it’s okay to lean on your own experiences to fill in their backstories.
it’s okay to use song lyrics as titles !! coming up with an original title is hard and song lyrics are fun (plus you’ll often find someone who recognizes/likes that song too and mentions it in the comments).
i hope this helps someone ! i hope it encourages you to keep writing bc it makes you happy ! i hope you know that your writing/creativity is worth much more than any amount of kudos, comments, bookmarks, or hits <3
#can you tell i cried over writers block less than an hour ago#is it obvious#feeling so tired and letting myself take a break#steddie fics#steddie fic writers#fic writers#fanfic#steddie fanfic#fic writer problems#writers block#fic writing#fic writing advice#steddie#steve harrington/eddie munson#fruity four#stranger things#steddie ao3 fic#ao3 steddie#ao3 fic
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Alright so I finished watching a Stardom show and I had a lot of thoughts about it and stuff I wanted to say and normally I would dump this all in my discord server but rn I'd feel weird about spamming this in there bc of brain reasons so tumblr gets it instead. So here are my probably needlessly long thoughts about Stardom's 2023.09.09 5 Star GP show from Korakuen Hall:
Alright so just right off the bat I'll say that this show was pretty packed (~1300 people) and the crowd was very hot and that... did nothing for me. Moments that make me feel very alienated from what is apparently the average wrestling fan, let me tell you. People make such a big deal out of loud active crowds and idk I mostly just found this one annoying. There's something about them being so audibly almost exclusively men that is really not fun. Rossy spent 10 years being so bad at appealing to women that I think it's fair to say it just wasn't a concern of his at any point, and Harada was absolutely gunning for a product in that same vein and it SUCKS. Oh my god it sucks. idk why it bothered me so much on this show, it's not like it's anything new, but it was really getting to me. I'm looking forward to getting to the show from, I think late November, when Kid specifically commented on how many women were there and seeing if it feels any different. Shout out to the one very loud woman who was a huge Komomo stan though, mood.
This show was originally billed as the Generational Struggle Part 3, the culmination of the Generational Struggle stuff from earlier in the Summer, a storyline that nobody ever understood and none of the wrestlers had any interest in, ultimately just completely dropped by the time this show actually happened, really emblematic of Harada's era of booking. I think this show stands out in a similar way, a peak of popularity and hype during a period where the quality was already starting to steeply decline, but before people had really noticed in numbers and before things had really cratered, with the wrestlers still mostly able to cover up the increasingly obvious holes. As such I think it's worth talking about as a shining example of this incredibly weird and bad period for Stardom.
Lady C & Hina vs Miyu Amasaki & Hanako - I like the sort of QQ vs QQ feeling to this match, but iirc it was one of those matches that were frequent at the time that had to be changed at the last minute bc someone was hurt or sick. So idk it was a fine opener though, no strong feelings but like it's the first match it's fine.
Mariah May & Waka Tsukiyama vs Mei Seira & Megan Bayne - Okay I hate to say it but Megan is kind of growing on me. I still think the way they brought her in was all wrong, and trying to push her for singles matches again later was still a mistake, but I do think she found a pretty entertaining niche in these less important tag matches. A lot of it is everyone else figuring out how to play off of her, and I don't really think it's a *good* thing when one wrestler warps an entire match around her every single time like she does, but in a match that's not all that important so there's less to detract from, yeah it's actually pretty fun. I just like seeing Mei Seira get thrown you know? Or when Mariah tries to knock her off the apron and she just doesn't move. It's annoying as hell when it gets her title shots, but in contexts like this, it's a pretty good bit.
Natsupoi & Yuna Mizumori vs Syuri & Saki Kashima - I'll talk more about it later but this whole undercard felt really disposable to me, which is always disappointing, especially given how much character Stardom packed into even their smaller matches before this period. Yunamon was in the middle of her joining CA story (still, somehow) and Poi and Syuri are always entertaining together, and they still are here with some fun spots and stuff, but I just didn't care. Like I said though, broader issues going on during this period so we do know why it was like that and I'll get to it later.
Mayu Iwatani, Koguma, & Momo Kohgo vs Natsuko Tora, Fukigen Death, & Rina - Again, perfectly servicable undercard match that doesn't really have anything fun or interesting going on under the hood, but we know why now so I'm not trying to like, criticize, just saying yeah wow it was bad huh. This was Komomo's second last match before she got injured iirc which is incredibly depressing, I don't think she even tagged in once during this match so she was probably already hurt and I hate it.
Mirai vs Saori Anou - God, okay, this match was kind of the one that made me think about typing up my thoughts about this show. I did not like this match anywhere near as much as I expected to. It just was not clicking for me, like, at all. This felt like a very clear "first time singles match", especially between two wrestlers who I guess don't really know each other outside of wrestling and haven't trained together or anything. There's a reason first time singles matches are rarely actually all that good and I really felt that awkwardness and lack of chemistry here. Mirai and Anou are both good so it was like, fine, but I was really taken out of it and unimpressed after I had assumed this would be really good. I do like Anou winning the white belt, and I do think Mirai's run needed to end bc it was not... working, but man I would not have devoted like Mirai's entire Fall to this feud after watching this match. Shining example of why you should put wrestlers together with people they want to work with and not just whichever names you think sound good against each other.
Hazuki vs Starlight Kid - This match on the other hand totally lived up to expectations. Hazuki and Kid obviously know each other super well and are both freaks, it was great. Brawling through the crowd always gives me kind of, idk, a sort of secondhand embarassment feeling? It just feels wrong my brain doesn't like it but I still appreciated what they were doing with it, with Kid angry and desperate and trying to prove herself more intense and bad than Hazuki. Hazuki always looks amazing getting tortured in submissions, and Kid's whole gameplan being trying to build to the Black Tiger Leg Killer makes sense. I couldn't actually remember who won this so I was even biting on the near falls at the end and liked Hazuki's quick, desperate win. They're both so great and I liked this a lot.
Tam Nakano vs Suzu Suzuki - This was like, the exact opposite of Mirai vs Anou to me. It still had a little bit of that first singles match awkwardness I think, but the amount you would expect given that's what it was, and they both brought enough to compensate for that. Tam really does have the same chemistry with "mini Giulia" as she does with the big sis herself and this match was really great for it. Again exactly opposite to Anou vs Mirai, this match totally would have left me excited for a title match program between these two - which ofc unfortunately never actually happened. I think the booking was incredibly stupid though, because of course it was, but why give Suzu the win over the champ to build to her winning the tournament and... earning a title match she already earned with this match? I guess there is the possibility that as people seem to believe Utami was meant to win and Suzu was an audible when Utami got hurt, which would make some sense booking wise. I still think Utami winning would have been extremely nonsensical from a story standpoint, but all the rest of Harada's booking was disjointed and very obviously ignored story too, so it would be consistent in that way at least. But anyway, I really enjoyed this match.
Giulia vs Maika - Wow, man, I liked this match so so much more than I was expecting to. Idk why it quite feels like this because I haven't skipped any of these shows, but if 2023 was the Maika starmaking year, this was the match where her popularity really felt like it exploded basically overnight. Like she was already liked, but this match out of nowhere was where it was suddenly like, oh my god Maika is SUPER popular, god damn. I think all of Giulia's singles matches have some holes, like, I wouldn't exactly say she is "good" at "selling" even at the best of times, but Maika is really good at compensating for her weaknesses, and most importantly the match really really excels at her strengths, namely intensity and homoeroticism. Given the things I've heard or seen I think this might be the last Giulia singles match I really enjoy, uh, either in her time in Stardom or possibly ever, but still if it does turn out that way for me, what a note to go out on. Really really fantastic, I thought this match was great, even if the story stuff and the booking around it was extremely inconsistent and stop and go with a whole Giulia vs Maika storyline they teased repeatedly and clearly wanted to do and never actually got to. At least they got to do this one.
Which I guess brings me to how weird this period of Stardom was. There have definitely been times I've wondered myself why I'm so dedicated to not skipping anything even when I don't exactly think it's fantastic, but I don't know, I still want to see what it was like, you know? I want to see what the wrestlers cared about even when there was no guarantee at all the booker would pay attention to any of it. There are definitely still good moments, even if there are a lot of bad and a lot of it is disjointed and weird around it. I just want to see it for myself.
I did improv in high school, and I remember after regionals one year we tried to do our regular weekly practice the next week, and it was terrible. Everyone was just creatively tapped and needed to recharge too badly, but we didn't realize that at first, and there was just this feeling of like, "we're doing the same things we always do, why isn't this working?" A lot of stuff from this period gives me the impression that that's how the wrestlers were feeling during this time.
The next show, on September 10th, was Dream Tag Fes, which seems to me to sort of be when this era of Stardom jumped the shark. (And I say that as someone who used to be way too much of a nerd about sitcoms and is extremely specific about what that term means.) The one last truly top to bottom great show for this era of Stardom, amidst some decline already starting to show, before the management issues and terrible schedule would become too much to ignore and they wouldn't be able to reach those heights again. I mean I think they're already on their way back up, I'm glad Harada has already been fired and Rossy being gone too is a bonus, but for this period at least. I might skip some stuff in the future, I know at least the Money Ball Scramble that was a mess where they didn't even run by the wrestlers what was in the boxes for sure, but I don't know, I still worry about missing out on the good stuff too, you know? That's my problem with wrestling, I'm so quick to tell others there's no actual obligation to watch everything, and yet I feel it myself. But even if it was another one that was all over the place, I'm still glad I watched this show.
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I am here to be cringey and nostalgic...
Here is an entire breakdown of the QSMP as Hamilton characters (and key song that relate to plot moments) Blame my ADHD and my college's power outage that made me not have a single class today... and @thebeesforeleg's encouragement!
SONGS BELOW THE LINE <3
Songs outside of just the names list:
Schuyler Sisters - OG Theory Bros
Right Hand Man - Cellbit and Forever creating Ordo Theoritas
Meet Me Inside - Tubbo and Cucurucho
Guns and Ships - AMERICA’S FAVORITE FIGHTING FRENCHMAN… Etoiles and THE RIGHT HAND MAN… BadBoyHalo
History Has Its Eyes on You - BadBoyHalo (opening reminds me of his shared “war stories” with Cellbit)
Dear Theodosia - We all know that is Wilbur and Tallulah's song, but there is a whole second part and I feel like that belongs equally to Forever and Richas / Bad and Dapper
Non-Stop - Dapper & Pomme (as Hamilton) and Chayanne (as Burr)(Burr is this song is tired older brother who’s sick of their overachieving younger siblings)
What’d I Miss? - Wilbur the moment he comes back
Cabinet Battles - feel like the election debates or Ordem meetings
Take a Break - Bad (Hamilton), Baghera (Eliza), Pomme (Phillip), Foolish? (Angelica)
Say No to This - Foolish… (I AM JOKING! or am i?)
The Room Where It Happens - Foolish (for real this time) after being relieved from the Ordem
Schuyler Defeat - can I make a third one in a row Foolish? Cause I just picture this:
Richas: Look! Grandpa's in the paper! ‘Builder Foolish Gamers loses presidential life to young upstart Pomme’ Grandpa just lost his seat in the presidential election.
Pac: Sometimes that's how it goes
Richas: Daddy's gonna find out any minute
Mike: I'm sure he already knows
Cellbit [in the distance]: ATTA GIRL
Washington on Your Side - Foolish & Baghera singing about Jaiden
One Last Time - Baghera stepping out the Presidential Race
We Know - Tubbo, Forever, Phil to Bad about Ron Lemons… and him lying saying he’s planning on kidnapping Foolish… “Alexander, rumors only grow…”
Hurricane - Pac (the cure vibes)
The Reynolds Pamphlet - this feels like the Misclick Duo’s divorce trial
Angelica saying “I’m not here for you!” is so Jaiden saying “This is about justice.”
Burn/First Burn - Forever to Bad
“Don’t take another step in my direction.” “You can stand over there if you want. I don’t know who you are. I have so much to learn.”
“And you are paranoid in every paragraph for how they will perceive you!”
“And when the time comes, explain to the children the pain and embarrassment you put their mother through. When will you learn that they are your legacy, we are your legacy!”
Congratulations - Baghera (I know this had to have be what was happening in her head when she met Ron)
“I begged you to take a break, you refused to.” “You’ve redefined your legacy, congratulations”
If she ends up switching sides bc Bad won’t give up Ron, “I’m not here for you… I know my brother like I know my own mind, you will never find anyone as trusting or as kind.””I love my brother more than anything in this life, I will choose his happiness over mine every time. Forever, is the best thing in our lives.”
It’s Quiet Uptown - Egg Disappearance and/or Bobby’s Death
The Election of 1800 - i feel like i shouldn’t have to say… its in the title… ELECTIONS
Your Obedient Servant - WHERE WE ARE RN… Forever and Bad are somehow exchanging letters while Forever is gone? (I’m not caught up but that’s that the clip seemed to be saying)
Forever: “Now you call me "amoral" A "dangerous disgrace"” “Answer for the accusations I lay at your feet or prepare to bleed, good man”
Bad: “am not the reason no one trusts you No one knows what you believe I will not equivocate on my opinion… You would need to cite a more specific grievance. Here's an itemized list of thirty years of disagreements.”
The World Was Wide Enough - Forever’s Proposal that ended in explosions
Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Our Story - The Eggs <3
#qsmp#qsmp as songs#qsmp hamilton au?#qsmpblr#I am sorry for the cringe#i woke up and this was all I could thing of#blame first burn coming on my tiktok at 7 am
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current hyperfixation? (feel free to infodump!!)
YIPPEEE!!! This made my day FR!! Thank you, mutual <3
ANYWAYS
This is kind of embarrassing, but I’ve been deeply invested by my own OCverse for going on 8 years now. Its my Special Interest, which sucks because,,, im the only one who can make content of these stinkies,,,,,
I really find it hard to hyperfixate on anything else because of the fact Ive been invested for so long (except for Web Design and coding, which I wont infodump about, since its literally all for these stories, deadass).
It is not fun at times because 1) all the characters live rent free in my head and criticize how I write them in my novels [that DID life] and 2) its SO hard to make new projects and get attached to them. Ive been trying for 2 years to make a horror project out of one concept but I seriously cant get fully invested and it SUCKS. Let me make my silly little horror web series damnit!!!!! (@ my brain)
I have 3 novels and one fantasy series im working on so,,,, Infodump time >:3c
TWs: Terminal Illness + brief mentions of (mental institute) hospitalization, murder, war, and some others that I’m not 110% sure the exact tags for them (basically kind of cannibalism, but between nonhuman species). Other than terminal illness, they’re super brief mentions, but still proceed with caution.
Right now, I’m working on one of the books I’ve been writing for nearly my whole time writing. Ive been only working on it since feb 1st (it’s, like, the THIRD draft tho).
Blurb about book
Melissa is a bassist in a rock band she formed with her high school friends. Just as her, and her friends’, career begins takes off, she gets diagnosed with a terminal illness. With a month left to live, and a shit ton of unfinished business, she invokes her best friend’s patron deity who is capable of miracles, Flip. Melissa and Flip make a pact to keep her alive until her business is over, but oh no! Melissa has caught the eyes of another god, and a pretty shitty one at that. How is she going to make her last months peaceful if she’s being hunted down by a god?
The working title is called “Ensuring Your Spot In Hell” because Flip is, essentially, a demon in the universe (rules an infernal ring of hell- it means I would have to explain the worldbuilding around hell and its A LOT), but titles are!!! So hard for me!!!
A list of random facts about the book™️ because I don’t want to write full paragraphs bc I can go on forever if u ask me to:
Flip’s name is a shortened version of his actual name, Fli’pyek. Furthermore, the domain Flip rules over is that of Wrath and Violence
Trinity (Melissa’s childhood bestie, and the friend that worship’s Flip) is a hereditary witch and pagan. Her family has been worshipping Flip and practicing witchcraft for several generations! They literally have their own holy book (generational BoS/Grimoire/whatever u want to call it).
Melissa had been sick with the disease™️ since she was 16. She just neglected the shit out of her own health (me too bestie, me too). It easily could have been prevented if she went to the doctor back when she was, at least, 18 years old, max 24.
At the time Melissa is diagnosed with her terminal illness, she’s 26. By the time she was supposed to die, she would’ve been freshly 27. Has anyone heard of the 27 club theory before? Or is it just an obscure reference I made LMAO
Melissa has extended biological family that worships Flip! It gets super awkward when Melissa visits them with Flip lol
The other primordial god that Melissa finds herself in a predicament with is named Ama, the god of Cruelty and Torture. Not a swell guy to get mixed up with, that’s for sure!
Melissa has an orange and white cat named Cheddar!
Flip always smells like whiskey and freshly cut tobacco. At all times. It’s bc his blood smells like it (and tastes like it too, but why are you tasting it? /j)
Any other facts might be getting into spoiler territory, BUT!! Thats the one Im working on rn, in February. In January I worked on another book, but that one honest to gods might be too triggering for this acc for an indepth thingy like the book I just did. It’s being rewritten to not be so triggering, but bc it’s a throw up of some of our trauma, it’s not an easy task to censor it.
REGARDLESS, Here’s a rundown of ALL of my main novels (minus the one I already talked about)
The Case of Twin Woods [mystery, drama, crime] (the one i worked on January)
Chastity hates her life. She hates her shitty job, she hates her shitty friends, and she hates her shitty family. After opening up too much to an online friend about her chronic suicidality, Chastity gets taken to Twin Woods Mental Institute, the state’s mental institution. There she befriends an eccentric group of patients, then finding out something terrible might be going on with the head warden, Leon Bellamy. She takes it upon herself to find out and solve the mystery, but she may have bitten off more than she can chew.
Untitled One (but leaning towards the name of ‘Jealousy’ or somethin idk) [drama, romance, crime]
Mia has a quiet life. She works at a library, she fosters cats, and by all means, has what could be considered a ‘boring life’. One day, she gets laid off from her job under the excuse of “cutting costs”, leaving her without a job and severance. While scrambling for a job, she finds one at a local cafe, the most frequented one in the city. There she befriends one of the regulars, a cold, quiet man named Zander, and after she unknowingly helps Zander’s brother, she becomes significantly closer to him. However, her boss, a bitter ex of Zander’s, hears about their ensuing closeness and decides she doesn’t like what’s going on. One failed dinner party and murder attempt later, Mia is left scrambling to hide that she killed Angelina in self defense. Will she be successful in hiding the murder? Or will the justice system make quick work of her?
Untitled Fantasy Series (has about 2 actual novels and 3 novellas… a possible third novel too) [drama, romance]
book one
Since his birth, King Sunshine has known his fate. He is to be sacrificed for the greater good of the realm he resides, killing his oppressive father, but losing his life in the process. It’s a prophecy that has been laid out since the beginning of Racktokian history, one King Sunshine was never able to escape due to his father’s unspoken rage at his own murder. After meeting a Vurtock for the first time, a species his father only used as cattle, Sunshine finds himself quickly entangled in a plot to overthrow his own father to liberate the Vurtockian race. He knows what he has to do, but it isn’t easy.
book two
The great war tore apart the country King Sunshine called home. His father left no stone unturned from his rage, and public opinions split the people. In the rubble of his home, he builds a new country founded on the importance of the civilians, only to be elected as a King in place of his father. Living in the palace he always called home, but had tried to escape, he finds that his father keeps sending assassins to make attempts on his life. One assassin, a vurtock with nothing to lose, hits a soft spot in Sunshines heart. After deescalating the attempt on his life, he offers the vurtock to stay in his castle until they’re able to find the proper resources to help him build a life in the new country. Far away from the oppressive dictatorship of his father. Yet, as his guest begins to stay for longer than intended, he sees that yet another step in the prophecy will begin.
Despite how the second book blurb is written, it’s more from the vurtock’s point of view than Sunshine’s. I just had a total brain fart.
The novellas for the fantasy book follow the POV of other important characters, such as the ruler of the Vurtockian rebellion, the POV of other rulers. For a while I wanted to write one from Raphaël’s POV, but I decided it wouldn’t be worth writing a whole book about a piece of shit finding joy in the pain he causes. Like, no thanks, ill pass.
Theres a possible 3rd book that would essentially be an extended epilogue, since the prophecy doesn’t stop at Sunshine’s death. I just haven’t thought as far as the 2 books and 3 novellas, in terms of outlining the books and stuff.
I honestly could give TONS more info on the fantasy books because that part of my universe has been around nearly the whole time Ive been writing. I have maps of the world, maps of countries, maps of even just cities, house and castle layouts, moodboards, art. Visual references galore. Not to mention the playlists for each character + each book. I also made a document called “The Remian Bible” because it has everything about the world in it, including the alphabets of the languages, grammar structures for said languages and literally 5 holy books for the religions even tho they wont evEN BE TALKED ABOUT IN ENOUGH DEPTH (why did i do that to myself /lh j/. It doesn’t help that I still want the write the holy books in their native languages… oo,,, and imagine writing the actual novels in the native languages,,,,). It’s honestly kind of,,, surreal how much time Ive put into this world 🧍 Like??? Damn,,,,
BUT YEAH!!! Those are all the books that take place in my ocverse + some other info!!! The things that are my hyperfixation,,,, My own books and world LMAO— The books don’t include half of the ocs in my ocverse tho, so thats where the website im coding comes in. It’ll have short stories based on the backstories of various characters on it, and Yes, even the background characters will be on it bc Im fucking bonkers and fleshed them out, even though some of them are in one scene for 2 minutes.
That being said, if anyone, or u mutual (if u read this wall of text), found any of this interesting, or wants to read even just the prologue of any of these, DM me!! I’m always looking for beta readers!! Or people to talk to about it too, that’d be fantastic. I really need beta readers, so seriously. DM me if u want to read my cringey stories!! I can give better in depth tws too!!!
EDIT: I need to mention that I go through spurts of hyperfixating on only one book or series. Thats why its both my hyper fixation AND my Special Interest
#i also have art of 90% of the ocs bc im an artist#littlest_bugz og#original characters#original writing#book writing#creative writing#writing#what tags would I even use dawg?? idk idk
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♡ the comfort you give should be returned
summary: being an older sibling is tiring, and sometimes all you need is some of the comfort you give.
warnings: general family pain, a bit of gaslighting (?) idk abt that one
a/n: im not feeling the best rn bc #oldersiblingissues! except that the older sibling is me and im the one whos having issues. am i procrastinating on homework because i need to satiate my hunger for big sibling fics? maybe. shh. i need it and so do my other older sibling people. i gotchu <3 its so so so hard. and yes this is a vent fic
"go away! i hate you, you're not mom!" your younger brother yelled bitterly. you irritating, stuck up brat, you thought.
"i'm not mom! that's why i care about you like this!" you grew increasingly frustrated. all this over a curfew, seriously? dude, all you said was to come back by 10. that was hella gracious already! when you were his age, your curfew was 5pm sharp. anything later and you could say goodbye to that phone your parents so kindly let you have.
sighing in frustration, you closed the door gently, lest you alert your mother that you were in a mood – no, no; that wouldn't do. no door slamming from you, no showing any signs of displeasure or disappointment towards anyone unless you wanted someone to reprimand you for "scaring your younger siblings" and "taking out your anger on people who love you and don't deserve this".
it's been like that for years.
always being resented by your gaggle of siblings for not being that fun, wild-spirited older sibling that they always saw in the movies.
always getting scolded by your parents for not keeping your siblings in check when in reality, they refused to listen to you.
always needing to pick yourself up with the world came crashing down on your shoulders and there was no one to comfort you when you cried.
no crying in front of your siblings unless you wanted to be teased and judged for being weak when you were supposed to be the glue of the family.
always needing to be the family therapist – parents included, but mostly the receiving side of your care.
years of this. you were sick of it to say the least – anyone would be. years of constantly feeling invalidated and of your feelings put lower than your younger siblings would do that to anyone. i take care of everyone, you thought upsettingly. when will someone take care of me?
you wanted someone to be able to sit down with you – to talk you through the days when everything felt like too much and you were balancing the emotions of everyone in your household.
you wanted someone whom you could make mistakes with freely. you wanted someone to comfort you, tell you when to stop, when to push, when to apologise. enough about all that bullshit from your end, you wanted to hear it from someone who cared for you unconditionally. not because of a title they held in their hand. someone who chose to stick by you so they could guide you.
those who you took care of in your life took you for granted, because they didn't know how much you wanted the same care you gave.
resent me all you want. i'm just being the person i wish was there for me.
#[📝 stewardess' notepad!]#wrote this when i was sad last night but basically the plotline of this is that older siblings need to be comforted the same way#they take care of others#and not a lot of people realise it but its painful being an older sibling sometimes#you get gaslighted and feelings invalidated and getting lesser chances to be vulnerable and you're the free babysitter#so this is a love letter to all my other older sibs out there. you're seen you're heard you're loved you're wanted you're needed#and you really need to get taken care of. please#im not expecting this to get notes bc of how niche it is – but i hope to all the hurting older siblings out there; this helps you a bit#also there'll be a pt. 2 where you get taken care of!! yayy#older siblings#older sibling fic#comfort fic#vent fic
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8, 20, 21, 22
Plus a random number without looking at the questions, hmmm....
You get: 86
8. movies or tv shows?
MOVIES. i suck so bad at watching tv shows because i always get sooo scared about wasting my time so i rather just watch a 2 hour movie and get it over with. this is also why i never get thru tv shows. i still havent properly watched all of star trek TOS....even when i was properly obsessed with it.
20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?
i honestly really prefer my laptop. notes are good but i make so many typos bc i type so fast. in class i take notes in my sketchbook. and sometimes i write down like little story segments in my sketchbook as well when i dont feel like typing it up on my notes app.
21. obsession from childhood?
cats (is it obvious), ancient egypt, LPS, warrior cats, hollywood undead. in that order. probably
22. role model?
i don't think i have one, there's people who have influenced me and how i behave (like my mom and dad. obviously.) but there's never been anyone who i like... look up to??? the same way that idolization is such a weird and foreign concept to me because everybody is fucked up and you can't take 1 person to be the end all be all because... well... you know. you'll end up disappointed. there's never going to be anyone who you agree with 100% or sb that you condone all the actions/behaviours of. + if its someone who you dont know personally like a celebrity or some author or fuckall whatever, You dont know them, how can they be your role model?? like it doesn't fit in my head, it's too "end all be all" title to give to someone, even if its your family member.... you get what im talking about?
i could write a longer post about my thoughts on "idolization" and "role models" in the web scene because im so sick of people getting disappointed bc their lovely internet crush did something weird that they didnt like. sorry this got derailed.
my role model is uhhhhhhhh lestat from interview with the vampire bc hes a cunty whore bitch who kills people and manipulates his gay boyfriend who doesnt want him
86. cookies or cupcakes?
im in my "pastries are scary" era rn but uhhh cookies. i guess
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ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod it’s HAPPENING this is NOT a DRILL
anyways I’m in bed hacking up a lung and delirious on cough medicine, so this leekie reaction episode is brought to you by Rikodien, our sponser for this evening :D
saw the chapter title and instantly began mentally rubbing my hands together like a greedy little gremlin I’m so EXCITED
oh shit not the suicidal sokka era… man pls just *kachow* back together like an overstretched elastic band bc codependency is wayyyy better than this shit come on dude
okay but like… sokka taking on zuko characteristics due to zuko being out of commission was Not what I expected, and yet I cannot say it’s entirely surprising
“I’m fine” GIRL YOU ARE LITERALLY IN THE MIDST OF A MENTAL BREAKDOWN
“Sokka wouldn’t do anything to hurt anyone” AANG. AANG. PLS I KNOW YOU WANT TO SEE THE GOOD IN OTHERS AND THAT YOURE A PACIFIST BUT. A A N G.
toph my bestie, the loml, an actual angel, yes INDEED why DOES sokka want to murder quon surely there’s a REASON
uh-oh.
not the zuko situation… rasu baby pls hold strong I Cannot have you being captured
aang. it’s times like these where I have to take deep breaths and remember you are 12 years old bc otherwise I will SCREAM
actually side note, but I would be really interested to hear 1. your feelings on iroh 2. your feelings on iroh IN THIS FIC, bc I personally am not a huge iroh fan for a multitude of reasons (sorry not sorry) so I wanna know how I’m supposed to read him in this universe (also just love hearing your thoughts and opinions but also no I don’t we’re divorced shut up)
thank GOD general how has some brain cells fr
suki is the real mvp of this chapter, she has the patience of the saint I honestly could never. FINALLY THE TRUTH YAYYYYY IM OH SO HAPPY TO HEAR SOKKA FINALLY TELL THE TRUTH
goddammit. why are they teenagers the emotions are just always so HIGH ugh I hate hormones. suki was doing so well ;-; (I don’t blame her or anything but DUDE COME ON)
aang and sokka friendship >>>>>
FUCKINF FINALY SOLKA IS GOONG TO ZUKEO OMGBG
ykw I’m just gonna leave those typos. I think they accurately convey my excitement.
sreedie. istg if pt 1 of the zukka reunion is sokka just WATCHING THROUGH A WINDOW IM GOING TO MURDER YOU
oh thank fuck he’s through the window. love you sreedie <3
not iroh just observing sokka go feral as a picture of absolute passivity lmao
okay I know this is a serious moment but I’m really enjoying the liab trivia night that sokka is hosting rn
I am actually,, extraordinarily pleased with how this chapter went. so uh.. no notes (ignore the several hundred words of notes above)
my heart was POUNDING and now I need to rest and recover. love ya sreeds <3
LEEKIE YOURE SICK?!?! (It’s been like almost two weeks so I hope you’re better) the audacity.
I think it’s hilarious how much of a reaction that title got heheeeee I’m funny.
Sokka spent 90% of RIA trying to get Zuko to stop doing what Sokka is spending 100% of ITF doing lol. It’s called progression damn it
Oh gosh my thoughts on Iroh? I don’t know where to start. I kind of want you to read Iroh how you want in this fic & see if you can figure out my feelings about the man from that? Hmmm? Call it… playing hard to get ;) ((just because we’re divorced doesn’t mean we can’t still play games))
Some people were mad at Suki for leaving after Sokka told her everything but seriously she is like what? 16??? Lied to & manipulated by someone she cared about & then told pfft there’s someone else. Nahhh girls allowed to have hurt feelings & she is allowed to want to bitch slap Sokka for that. (Just because Sokka is hurting doesn’t mean he gets to hurt others sorry buddddddyyy)
Hahaha Sokka did a really good job being there for Zuko but a terrible job keeping their closeness a secret haha: <3
LEEEEEKKKKKIIIEEEEE ok I don’t love you because you’re a lightbulb smashing ex wife but I do hope you’re feeling better & if now I’ll toss some soup through your window <3 (ok I still love you byyeeee)
#but yeahhhh I think#sometimes it’s easy to have a biased opinion on Sokka because we saw his slow burn demise#& all the pain and suffering he endured#& it’s easy to make excuses for him#but at the same time he LEAD SUKI ON#& held her HAND#& told her he still cared about her or whatever#bad Sokka#bad bad bad baddddd#ha imagine if Zuko knew#mr jealous insecurity would have a field day lol#anyway I was just surprised people were upset at Suki#I mean yeah Sokka told her this horrible story but she is a teenager who is emotionally strung out from everything that’s happened#she’s allowed to be selfish and storm out#idk I stand by Suki#but I also stand by Jet so idk if my opinion counts lol#OK LEEKIE I LUBBBBBB YOU#you better be feeling better#I’m going to be worried about you until I know you’re not sick in bed anymore lol#leekie tag#i love you leekie#LIAB#ITF#ASK
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idk how to put this nicely but im sick of seeing pretty trans people in media and i wish culturally we were at a point where there was room for regular/"ugly" looking people. the way cishet white guys get to be successful performers even though theyre not conventionally attractive bc theyre funny or charismatic
i firmly believe that everyone is beautiful bc beauty is subjective and emotional and smth we create through perception and interpretation. but there are conventions of beauty that western culture elevates
the trans people that are allowed mainstream success are the ones who pass for cis. bc in a lot of ways the idea of what "cis"/"cis passing" looks like = gender conforming = "attractive". that's why when cis people are like "omg, i'd never know you were trans" or "you're a prettier woman than me!" the underlying assumption there is that trans = ugly, and trans people are inherently unattractive. BUT! if they try hard enough (spend enough money on surgery and hormones and makeup and clothes. and also just naturally look fem/masc enough because of course the real trans people are the ones who pretty much passed before doing any sort of medical transitioning anyway :) and it was soooo obvious all along who their "true self" was!) then those lucky few get the honorary title of cis* in everything but the actual meaning of the word. the "you tried" star that makes cis people feel sooooo good to pass out.
i know its a much broader issue of like any social "minority" having to meet the standards of the "majority" to get any sort of acceptance. but i'm pressed abt this specifically rn
#just felt strongly abt this out of nowhere and felt like rambling abt it#ok wait before the finger of the monkeys paw curls down/ice cream truck falls on spongebob:#im happy to see trans people in the media at all. im happy there is a form of trans person that is broadly acceptable.#that comes with a million caveats but i do still mean that
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Can someone help me find a fic?? Im going crazy rn. I have been looking for it for two weeks and nothing😭
It was a gojo x reader. I think it starts with reader getting a check up by Shoko because they fought a curse and with it last ‘breath’ the curse actually managed to hurt the reader, it made them sick like a pneumonia sort of sick. Gojo takes care of the reader, and while doing so the reader has a really bad coughing attack where they cant breath, and he gets really worried- holding their hand really tight, telling them to breath in and out like him. After the attack settles down a bit, Gojo still doesn’t let go of their hands. As the day(s)? Go by reader is feeling a bit better, so they wake up to gojo right beside them still holding their hand. They wake up to make him breakfast bc they noticed how tired he is and gojo freaks out. That’s the last thing I remember 😭
i could have sworn the title of the fic was something like ‘Inhale and Exhale’ or ‘ Breath in, Breath out’
I would greatly appreciate if anyone can help me find it. 😭😭
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