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ben-talks-art · 1 year

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My 10 Favorite DreamWorks Movies

When I first joined Tumblr one of the first few posts I made was a "Best of DreamWorks" where I just pasted a bunch of images from the movies I liked the most.

After seeing the new Puss In Boots movie and seeing all the love it's been getting I thought it would be nice to revisit the list, but this time actually talking about why I like these movies so much.

Just wanna say real quick, If you're coming here wondering if "Shark Tale" will be on the top 5 and how I'm gonna defend my case about it, you lower these expectations right now. This is gonna be a super boring list. My favorites are everyone's favorites.

The only thing I can bring up is why I myself like them, and hopefully, I can bring up unique enough reasons for it. I've always been a fan of this company, mostly because I really respect how many risks they take with the premises of their stories.

I always like to believe that there is no such thing as a bad idea, only a bad execution, and DreamWorks proves that by never being afraid of giving a chance to the weirdest of ideas, and when the execution pays off, it pays off greatly!

So which ideas did I feel were executed the best?

10 . The Bad Guys

First things, first. "Good Tonight" is a freaking awesome song and everyone should give it a listen.

The idea of bad guys is "what if we tried to make the meanest-looking animals that people are familiar with into the heroes of our story?"

Animals like snakes, sharks, spiders, and so on, things that are known for being very dangerous and scary, but placed into the roles of bandits that go on heists while running away from the police.

I always call this the "Not Sly Cooper" movie, because that's exactly what I feel a Sly Cooper movie would be like. Tons of animal-acting-like-human jokes, fun cartoonish heists and car chases, and some nice morals about what it means to be a thief and what it means to be a hero.

Bad Guys is a very charming movie. The characters are all likable, many of the jokes are funny, and the way the movie looks with its blend of 2D and 3D is just amazing. The scene where they are escaping from prison with the help of a "mysterious ninja" being my favorite part.

The only problem I have is that I feel having both a shark and a piranha in the cast was kinda redundant. I would have replaced the piranha with a bat so they would have a scary flying animal instead of two scary water animals. Plus, imagining a bat singing "Good Tonight" just feels like a funnier visual to me.

9. Megamind

"Presentation!!"

The idea for Megamind is rather simple, show what happens when the villain does beat the hero.

I feel like this movie did a good job showing how the fun of working hard can sometimes feel more rewarding than the fun of actually winning, kinda sending a sweet message about the futility of cheating.

I also like how over-the-top Megamind himself is with how he treats all his evil actions as some grand spectacle. Doesn't matter if he's winning or losing, this dude always looks like he's having a lot of fun treating these hero vs villain battles as some sort of playtime with his best friend.

You're basically watching a kid's imagination of what these fights would look like from someone who grew up watching way too many cartoons. Tons of cheesy one-liners, tons of dramatic speeches, tons of last-second twists, and of course, tons of big explosive action.

And it's also fun seeing Megamind's fantasy of what a hero vs villain scenario looks like slowly dying once he meets Titan and how differently he treats this whole thing compared to MetroMan.

The one problem I had was the way the character of Roxane was treated. It felt like they were trying to make her more than just "the girlfriend" and give her more depth, but in the end, her biggest role in the climax was still needing to be saved and serving as emotional support for the main character. Also, the way she was basically catfished by Megamind always made me very uncomfortable, especially when thinking that kids might be watching this and learning from this.

It wasn't too awful, but I felt they could have done more with her.

8. Spirit

"What if we made a movie about the adventures of a horse?"

This one is kinda hard to describe why I like it. I think the reason is that it feels... How do I put it... Honest? Real? Genuine?

Whenever Spirit goes through an emotion it always feels earned. When he's sad, you're sad, when he's angry, you're angry, and when he's celebrating after succeeding in a daring escape, you want to celebrate too.

This movie to me just did a great job at making me feel what this horse was feeling, and most of it with the use of very minimal words.

I loved Spirit, loved his chemistry with the villain, loved the sense of speed whenever he is running through the fields or avoiding the cowboys... and most of all, loved the joy you get whenever you feel free.

It's not that this gives you a great sense of freedom, its that it gives you a desire to fight for freedom! It makes you feel you can be more, and do more and have the right to reject being tied down by others who want to limit your true potential and control you.

This movie makes you want to be free.

7. The Road to El Dorado

Do I even need to say anything besides the fact that this movie has Chel in it?

But for real, I think this movie was my introduction to the Maya, Inca, and Azteca culture, (I think my closest only other option at the time was "Mucha Lucha" of all things...), and they make this culture look fun and cool.

The architecture looked nice, the clothing looked nice, the people were so likable, and anytime they party you just want to party as well. I kept waiting for some big reveal to happen for the citizens to turn on the heroes, but they never do, and that was so refreshing, just showing people from different areas becoming friends AND staying friends.

I also love how funny Miguel and Tulio are, I was a kid when I first saw this so I was weirded out by the idea of two adults as the leads but I was sold on them very quickly. Even their horse was likable. everyone is just so likable in this movie. It makes you want to visit El Dorado and hang out with all these people.

Such a charming, funny, and friendly movie.

Also Chel. Chel was a big selling point.

6. Puss in Boots, the Last Wish

I already talked about this one over here, but, long story short, like many other movies on this list, I love how good this movie is at sucking you into the mood.

The way the visuals, the story, the dialogue, and the characters work together really succeed into making you feel what these people are feeling and making want to see more of them.

Didn't matter if it was the heroes, the villains, the antagonists, or what, I was 100% behind everyone's motivations and I couldn't wait to see all their goals clashing with each others'.

Also, the wolf is by far one of DreamWork's best antagonists, right up there with Shen and Ramses. He looks cool, talks cool, and even his motivation was cool.

This wasn't just a movie, this was an experience.

5. Shrek 2

I freaking dare anyone going into this movie blind to predict what the climax is going to be.

The weird idea of this one is that Shrek after marrying his wife needs to meet her parents... And that's it. It's just one long and uncomfortable reunion with people who really don't want to be on the same room together and all the things they try to pull of to make or break this relationship.

Hire assassins, request help from magic fairies, fake your appearance, steal a potion, it's all about seeing how far everyone is willing to go to do what they think it's the best for those they love.

It all turns into a glorious and creative mess and I can't help but love every second of it!

(Side note, anyone ever notices how often DreamWorks sequels focus on the idea of characters dealing with their parents?)

4. Kung Fu Panda 2

If it wasn't for Prince of Egyp, I would say that this was the hardest and darkest DreamWorks movie.

There is so much focus on feeling lost, feeling abandoned, feeling hopeless and betrayed, and just trying to understand what you're doing wrong and what you need to do right.

This movie was like a therapy session... Done with talking cartoon animals, yes, but a therapy session no less.

The themes of trying to understand yourself, where you came from, and where you want to go are all handled greatly as you watch the relationship between the hero and the villain.

Po and Shen have such an absurdly great chemistry. I love seeing them talking, fighting, and trying to one-up each other, and I really love how much their relationship changes the more they learn about each other, and it all happens so fast and so smoothly too.

It makes me angry whenever I see a movie and the hero and the villain barely talk with each other. That's one of the best things you can do with them! Why are you skipping it??

Luckily this one didn't, and in return, we got one of the best interactions ever. I love these two by themselves and love these to together. Just a pair of wonderful characters that work really well off each other!

3. The Prince of Egypt

Man... What do I even say about this one?

It's probably the riskiest idea DreamWorks has ever tried to do, tell the story of Exodus as an animated musical... And that was their second movie ever after freaking "Antz!" These guys have a lot of guts.

This was a movie that I didn't really get it when I saw it as a kid, but I just love trying to understand its themes and messages now that I'm older.

I love the main conflict between the brothers, again, bringing attention to how good a story can be when you focus on the connection of the hero and the villain. Showing both sides of people who grew up under an unhealthy ideology, one trying to grow out of it and the other trying to embrace it even more.

I love the imagery of Egypt, both as this grand epic kingdom built from the struggle and pain of the slaves and as this falling empire being attacked by God Himself. The visuals of the plagues being my favorites.

And I love the sense of calmness that appears whenever the chaos takes a break. Seeing Moses and his people getting out from the ocean and enjoying the dawn of a new era after all the struggle they went through just felt so rewarding. It's just such a satisfying ending for such a long journey... As long as you decide to stop there and don't look up what happens in the rest of the story.

I especially love the concept of Ramses, A person so deep into the teachings of his father that he can't even see why the things he's doing are so bad. I think my favorite part is when he's hugging his son while glaring at Moses and just asking "Why?" while he has this GIANT WALL SHOWING BABIES BEING FEED TO CROCODILES right behind him.

It's such an amazingly blind irony as the man cries for his kid's safety while the crying of all these dead kids looms over his shoulder. Just how do you have to be raised to turn into this kind of person?

It's so baffling but I just can't stop watching and wondering how far is this man willing to go. Such a sad showing of someone who doesn't see he's on the wrong side and trying to fight against the tides.

It's a beautifully sad, and yet hopeful movie.

2. Kung Fu Panda

Yeah, I put Kung Fu Panda above Prince of Egypt... I don't know what's wrong with me either. I don't know, for some reason, I just have a lot of respect for this movie? Prince of Egypt I liked a lot but I couldn't really fully understand it and enjoy it until I was much older. Meanwhile, even when young I could already enjoy Kung Fu Panda a lot.

It felt like it had a bigger challenge by being a good, deep movie while also being fun, funny, and cheerful.

It's easy to make dark stories have strong messages and depth, but it's hard to have no-so-dark stories also have strong messages and depth, and I have such an appreciation for that. They could have just made this a lame joke-fest about being an overweight character trying to learn martial arts, but they didn't!

They put a lot of effort into the lessons, the fighting, the motivations of the characters, the visuals, and even the jokes! I thought the jokes were going to be awful but they were all very charming!

I love the designs of the cast in how they each represent a level of kung-fu, AND, I love the Kung-fu itself.

I feel like this is the Kung Fu Panda movie that tries the most to be creative with combining martial arts in a cartoon setting. Like... I like Kung Fu Panda 2 and 3 but I don't really remember much of the action there aside from the stuff in climaxes with the "water dodgeball" section and the "giant energy dragon avatar in the spiritual realm" section.

But in here? I remember the bridge fight, the prison escape, the master vs student showdown, the hot-potato game with the scroll, and even the training sessions with Po and the five.

I feel like as the movies went on they focused more on the spiritual journey of self-discovery and toned down the cartoon action, while in here it's just perfect.

It's amazing how many elements this movie is trying to balance while still pulling it off each of them so well.

I just wished that Po and Tai-Lung had more scenes of interaction because they basically feel like strangers in the end even though the whole movie is building up to their fight... A fight that... Really doesn't feel as good as all the action that came before to be honest.

But still, that's just one small little problem in what's otherwise a perfect product. Besides... KFP2 covers the whole Hero vs Villain thing that was lacking in here by more than making up for it, so it's all good. 1. How To Train Your Dragon

Of course my favorite DeamWorks movie is the one with the dragon. I freaking love dragons! I have a comic based on people that become dragons for crying out loud!

Kidding aside, this is a movie with a message that I just respect a lot. I really appreciate the idea of teaching kids the importance of knowing how to stop, looking at what you're doing, trying to understand who you're hurting, and what you can do to change.

This isn't just something that holds value to kids, this holds value to everyone. We are always so focused on going after the things we want that we tend to forget the people we're sometimes stepping on to get there, and this movie shows that not only do we not lose anything for trying to be friends with these people, but we might even gain something even better.

I just adore the friendship of Hiccup and Toothless (God, I love these names).

One is a kid trying to make his father proud by following the family legacy, while also trying to do what he loves by studying and befriending dragons and the conflicts that come from trying to please both sides. This is such a great lesson for kids because they're always stuck into deciding on what's best for them and what's best for what their parents want from them.

And the other side is a pet slowly lowering his defenses and deciding if he wants to trust this weird stranger that tried to hurt him or give him a second chance to prove himself as a possible ally. What do you do? Put yourself at risk and give others a chance or remain safe and away from possible harm?

This movie reminds me a lot of Lake in that if you keep looking at it you can take away twenty different lessons and themes to talk about.

Again, it's the challenge of trying to be deep while avoiding being too dark and remaining all-ages-friendly.

Kids are gonna watch this, they're gonna love the dragons and the flying scenes, and they're gonna come back years later and pick up things they didn't see were there before and later realize that without noticing it, these lessons became a part of them and a part of what they do.

You can feel that there is a lot of love in this movie. I remember watching the commentary and looking at how the creators always would get excited when there was a silent scene or a world-building scene. It's clear they had a lot of fun working on this product, and this love really can be felt through the characters, their growth, and their emotions.

I freaking adore this movie, and I freaking adore DreamWorks!

#dreamworks #dreamworks animation #puss in boots the last wish #shrek 2 #how to train your dragon #kung fu panda #kung fu panda 2 #the prince of egypt #the road to el dorado #spirit #megamind #the bad guys

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humblegoat · 5 months

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Artist wrapped ask game!

5, 10, 24, 28, 30

YES!

5. What work are you most proud of (regardless of likes/reblogs)? Oooh that's a tough one! I'm proud of a lot of the things I drew this year, but I think this piece of Juniper with the tigers is my personal favorite. The depth of field and color scheme came out EXACTLY the way I envisioned it.

(con't under the cut)

10. What inspired/motivated you this year? I struggled with motivation at some points, but really worked on paying attention to what my heart wanted to draw in those stagnant moments. Looking at the work of others was a big inspiration this year - I really want to try more techniques and mediums come 2024, I see so many short form vids of paintings that make me go awooga. I'm also deeply inspired by animation right now, would love to get back into that more seriously as well.

24. What did you listen to while creating this year? Ohhh ok let's see. Depending on what creative mode I was in... a) In the early stages of a piece, I usually have on something without words, like lo-fi VGM remixes or movie soundtracks. That provides me background noise (v. important for me, bc my hearing is super sensitive and ambient noises like the fridge humming can really impede my concentration) but still allows me to focus for all the heavy lifting that gets done at the start of a piece (posing, composition, value studies, etc) b) Once the stuff I really need to Think About is done, I usually move on to listening to podcasts or youtube videos. My big podcasts were Friends at the Table, You're Wrong About, and Shelved by Genre. My big video essayists were Swoop, Hbomberguy, Hannah Alonzo, Izzzyzzz, and Jarvis Johnson. Honorary mention to Dimension 20 which isn't really a podcast or a youtube video but a secret third thing (actual play narrative video series) c) When I'm just doodling in my sketchbook, I'm usually listening to my OC playlists OR trying to find new music. (Everyone should introduce me to their fav musicians, I wanna broaden my listening!)

30. Share a fun quick little sketch because why not! Fellow Strixhaven players DNI, but here's a concept for my Sorlock's pact familiar (base form of a tressym) taking on a new form come the fourth year of magic school:

#ask game #@stir-fried-kilometers #about me #art ask #artist wrapped

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filurig · 11 months

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2, 8 and 20 for the ocverse ask meme :3

2.) if you gave an in depth description of your story to someone who was not all the way paying attention, what would their takeaway be?

A: cruelty is a choice, and the strongest decision u can make is to be kind in a hostile world. also just accept yourself for who you are and stop trying to meet harmful expectations imposed upon u by people or society around u.

8.) what inspired your world building, if anything?

A: i think the biggest inspiration is misc. swedish media aimed at kids, generally folklore is pretty present there which inspired me to make it kind of a Crux in pareidolia. some specific inspirations from that when it comes to vibes are emil i lönneberga by astrid lindgren and pettson och findus by sven nordqvist - these are most relevant to the worldbuilding surrounding folke but yk. art by ppl like john bauer were also very present when i grew up and also depicted lots of folklore which has also inspired my focus on it.

now regarding the actual worldbuilding of creature species a lot of it is based on my Casual Interest In Animals so they often just gather traits/behaviours based upon misc animals. and ofc i gather from the actual folklore theyre based on. ive always liked concepts where the established idea of a creature or concept is different from how it is in reality, so thats what ive tended to aim for for most of the creatures.

20.) your ocverse just got a movie trilogy a la hunger games style. how have they horribly mangled your message/theme so that the movies are now a showcase of what the original was condemning?

A: arvo is 10x more horrible and commits even more crime and manipulates folke for arbitrary reasons completely knowingly and sets out to ruin shit for him for #fun. initially there is no jägarlyan present and arvo is just doing his thang on his own but he then joins up with them in the second movie or something. oh and he no longer acts immaturely sometimes, or genuine, now hes just a Cool and Quiet and Calculating Intimidating Villain for epic badass scenes. at the end folke calls the police and arvo gets arrested for poaching and several other felonies and spends the rest of his life in jail (again, i guess). alternatively selma or god forbid folke just kills him.

oh and they also completely delete all queerness from the narrative at all. arvo = untransed. folke = gets into a good christian heterosexual marriage after arvo is arrested or killed, at some point a forced female love interest was introduced to him to tell him to quit being friends with arvo. adrian = somehow 100% cis despite being part of a species with a very loose view of gender. freddie is definitely forced into sexual overtones with the women at jägarlyan.

#ask meme #oc stuff #pareidolia tag #writing the massacrare in 20 was actually terrifying. my god #not art

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mxuki · 1 year

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Is encanto really as good as everyone thinks?

-SPOILERS FOR ENCANTO AND UP-

i know it may seem like im a bit late to the party but the truth is when i saw encanto first getting popular it felt strange.

it felt like i watched a completely different movie ngl and i kept my mouth shut back then because i didnt wanna ruin the fun for everyone else lol

but tbh im pissed off at disney and i cant keep my mouth shut for any longer now.

let me just, get to the point-

Encanto is a terrible movie that fails at the fundamentals of story telling

you see, if u manage to see through the tears and actually pay attention to the plot of the film, it is so b a d

now i'll give them credit where credit is due, they had a really interesting concept and very good ideas

but they executed it so poorly its laughable.

you see, this film isnt a film

its a cash grab on the name of nostalgia and emotions

idk abt other peope but to me, encanto felt very empty. From the way i see it, disney just wanted to make the next frozen with touchy feely themes about family and love and healing and runions but it sort of failed.

the characters in encanto seem extremely shallow. the "development" they get (.i.e. isabella, luisa, abuela etc) dosn't really feel like true development. it seemed extremely artificial and almost felt like an act disney was putting on to fool everyone else into thinking that they're actually good in writing characters. i mean sure, they have distinct personality traits, trauma, backstories and everything a character needs to have depth but what undermines this imo is the plot.

now idk if i just have a taste for suspenseful thriller movies or something but i enjoy a nice touchy feely movie alright (for instance Up) but encanto really lacked the substance it needed for it to truely shine.

Im gonna use Up as an example to explain what i mean

in the beginning of up, in the very first few minutes carl and ellie's characters have light years more personality then mirabel or luisa for example. The plot itself enhances it.

In the beginning of up, its very clear that carl is intorverted and uncertain, he wants more from life. he wants to go on adventures but he needs someone to be there for him. he needs someone to provide certainty and comfort even in chaos.

and ellie does exactly that. Her very first impression on carl and the audience makes it clear that she's very much into adventure and is the sun to carl's moon.

now what about isabella and mirabel?

they uh

have sister....problems...

and...

......

isabellla is a people pleaser i guess?

and what does the plot do to enchance this?

they make the dinner go wrong becuase of bruno's rats and mirabel gets blamed for it so isabella doubles down on her inner flaws???

like i get what they were trying to do with mira and isa's characters and what theme they were going for but it just fell really flat. the writing really failed in making me care about them or their issues. they seem like caricatures of real people who probably exist but they seem very one dimensional and flat.

honestly i think encanto would've been a lot better if it was a show as that would give the writers more time to flesh out these characters and make them loveable.

And this brings me to the most saddening part of this whole thing....

Disney dosn't care

they dont care that their ip would've benefited from being a show instead of a film, or that the final product is trash. All the care about is make touchy feely movies with the same theme and the same messed up message about love and boundaries over and over again with the same highly merchandisable characters that'll have the dolls and dresses flying off of the shelves because that's what it ultimately comes down to.

They don't care because they don't have to

Its simple really. they dont care because they're so absurdly big that it dosnt matter if they keep making terrible movie after terrible movie, uninspired sequel after uninspired sequel (lookin at u, frozen 2) because so many people are attached to the walt disney brand that they'll watch it regardless and buy the terrible quality merch without a second thought for their kids to play with so they can grow up and do the same thing to their kids.

Its tragic that this is what the beautiful medium of animation and film has come down to.

#disney is evil #disney rant #encanto #my posts

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deepuknownyouth · 23 days

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Pirates

My game is about Pirates in fact you play as one setting sail to the se to take on other pirates in epic ship to ship combat. But what is a pirate? What are there goals? Why do they do what they do? And are they still around to this day? well I thought I would do One very in-depth blog post on what Pirates are and the effect they have on the world as a hole. Or the effect they did have on the world as a hole.

What are pirates?

Well, let's start with a simple definition of the word "Pirate." The definition reads, "an act of robbery or criminal violence by ship or boat-borne attackers upon another." The first recorded incident of pirates was in 14 BC when a group known as the Sea People threatened a group of sailors on a ship passing through the Mediterranean Sea. The group that threatened them and later attacked them were known as the "Sea People," and they came from Turkey. Now, I wish I could say they had some sort of deep and interesting reason to do this. Maybe they were poor or from a bad background, and while that may well be true for a lot of them, these pirates seemed to just like stealing, killing, and robbing as their way of living more than just doing any other form of normal work at the time. They acted more like raiders than anything.

So, in short, pirates were often people from a poor background who would join a crew, get a ship, and set sail for the sea, stealing anything they deemed theirs on the ocean. They would often be villains to the people they were robbing and even sometimes engage with each other in naval battles for each other's goods.

Life On The Sea

Okay, so we now know that pirates were poor people from disadvantaged backgrounds who thought they had to take to a life of stealing to make their way through life. But what was life actually like for pirates on their ships? Well, let's just say it was not all the gleam the movies may show you. Pirates often had to live in quite poor conditions and could catch many illnesses and diseases, including scurvy, mosquito-borne diseases, infectious diseases, and gangrene. These could often kill many pirates on a ship, and not to mention the fact they would fight each other for supplies, gold, and treasure. And then add to the fact that they would be in constant danger of countries' navies going after them, such as the British Empire, who would take down any pirate ships they saw. Pirate battles weren't really a fun battle but more of a brutal and rather bloody battle that would end with you on the floor of your ship dead from a stab wound or a cannonball or at the bottom of the sea.

Are Pirates Still Around Today?

A short answer to this is: Yes. Yes, they are. While they don't still have swords and big old pirate ships that shoot out cannonballs, they do have guns and speedboats. Pirates today normally still operate around the Caribbean and African seas where they try to board ships for their supplies and valuables. Pirates now are nowhere near as effective as they were hundreds of years ago; however, they still try to take on large cargo ships and take what they can.

Fun facts Why did pirates often wear funny hats? Well, they are not actually anything really special, not at least like what people describe them as. Pirates who wore "funny" hats were often just the captain of the ship, and they did this so their crew would know who was in charge.

Pirates didn't often have hooks like TV media will tell you. If a pirate had a peg leg or a hook on his hand, they would have had to have had a very good doctor who saved them from whatever injury they sustained and a lot of money to pay for a leg/hook.

Pirates did, however, have parrots. Not because of the same reasons films will have you believe, but more as a sign of their power and in some rare cases as a way of stealing things without others knowing they did it. They would also keep them as a lucky charm of some sort in some cases.

Pirates never really wore eye patches; this was more of a made-up thing in media. However, in some very, very rare cases, they would, whether this be to scare others or because they really did only have one eye, some, and I mean some, had black eye patches.

Pirates did not always have a cross and bones on their sails; sometimes, they would just have a normal white sail until they were very close to their enemy ship so they could quickly change when they were already in range to strike their enemies. This was a very smart pirate tactic.

#dc comics #ts4 gameplay #dc universe #games #game review #videogame #gaming #youtube #video games #multiplayer

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chainburma63 · 2 years

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spooncreek54 · 2 years

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theveryworstthing · 4 years

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So over on patreon Trevor asked for my take on the Addams Family and I grew up LOVING the Addams family movies so here we are. Instead of doing a straight up style interpretation, I decided to do a full on design challenge, using the characters as bases to make a black southern gothic Addams au. I actually drew the kids first, using the character bases of Wednesday and Pugsley to create some delightful kiddos I'm calling Sunday and Blanche. I of course then redesigned Gomez and Morticia into Carlisle and Mortesha.

The Addams have a very specific high aristocratic goth aesthetic (they've got a butler and nobody really works among other things) so in this re-imagining I wanted to go with vibes that run a little more middle class/upper middle class. I thought it would be interesting to think about what would be considered weird and off-putting in an entirely different culture, and how being a big ol' goth is way less controversial than it used to be.

I tried to keep this short (HAHAHAHAHAHA) so I didn't spin off into an essay about villain coded families, black people in the horror genre, and normalcy as it pertains to social survival, but just...bits of that are in these designs and lore. Keep that in mind.

Also I made the kids twins because they've flip flopped in age so much in different media and also twins run in my family (i'm the daughter of one). And let's face it, I'm pulling a lot of their southern gothic traits from living as a southern goth so *shrug*.

10 thousand pounds of lore incoming loooooooooool.

The Parents

From the moment he saw her he knew that there was a 50/50 chance of him either never making it out of that swamp alive or marrying the figure that was creeping out from under the distant willow tree in a black cocktail dress. The third time she found him trussed up in one of her traps, he complimented her rope work and asked if she'd like to go out sometime after his head wound stopped bleeding.

Or while it was still bleeding.

If she was into that.

Some kids and a mysteriously burnt down Piggly Wiggly later, their love is still as strong and inescapable as a bear trap in a sink hole.

Carlisle Guillermo (now Addams through marriage but I wanted to give him two first names for a name since Gomez has two last names) makes a vaguely described living practicing ‘law’ around town. A loophole king, people come to him from miles around with contracts signed in blood, fights over chunks of hair buried in their rivals’ yard, dehydrated primate hands, memories that seemed like dreams until the evidence of their happenings became too real, and other regular Legal Items asking for counsel which he is all too happy to give. For a price. Sometimes that price is a homemade pie and sometimes it’s a million dollars, depends on who you are. Whatever you’re asked to pay it’s worth that price, and if you try to scam him out of work or he just plain doesn’t like you? Well. He knows how to twist a contract better than anything at the crossroads.

And he always gets his due.

He doesn’t just serve the local (living)humans though, there are many things that need proper legal representation in this day and age. You wouldn’t believe how many city councils try to build on sacred burial grounds even after he lets them know that his ghostly clients are totally gonna haunt the FUCK out of the ensuing shitty condos and curse their families for all eternity. At least 50% of his energy goes towards dealing with real estate bullshit.

Carl is an excitable and good natured(?) man who loves his family, cigars, dancing, and his many knife-based hobbies. People find him very charming once they get past the feeling that they’re talking to a sultry gator badly disguising itself as a human. I didn’t put a ton of deep thought into designing him, mostly I wanted to make a middle aged dude who looked like he would have been voted ‘most likely to smooch the literal devil’ in high school. Tbh he probably has, but no demonic ex’s can compare to his lovely wife~

Mortesha Addams(her name was already perfect so I just tweaked it)is a woman of many talents. A self proclaimed homemaker, she prides herself on a greenhouse full of Concerning Foliage, a beautiful wasp apiary, and a coop full of what are probably chickens that she keeps for what are probably eggs. She’s also an avid creator of the outsider art that can be seen around the estate. She has taken on the family business of selling her homemade goods in a little stall by the road just outside the swamp with her mom, and makes pretty good money doing so. A surprising amount of poison gets bought in quaint southern towns.

Speaking of poison, people who come out to the edge of the swamp to buy it are usually carrying a lot of secrets around, and Mortesha knows most of them. It’s not like she pries the truth out of people, it just so happens that many nervous hellos eventually turn into the tragic backstory power hour if she’s alone with a client for long enough. She supposes that’s just how people are. Despite the fact that the Addams are very active in the community (whether the community likes it or not) she especially, as a direct descendant of the first Addams matriarch, is seen as…Well not an outsider because the community feels A Certain Way about outsiders and despite it all the Addams are their people, but maybe something like an exception. They feel like whatever weirdness they’re hiding can’t be weirder than any given Addams, so they get a little loose with their words.

This is amusing to her, since Addams’ don’t naturally keep the kind dramatic secrets that their surface level prim and proper neighbors do. It’s much more fun to openly talk about those things.

Do they have a sadly decrepit yet terrifying grandma up in the attic? Yeah, like three. They got a tv, all the creepy porcelain dolls they could want, and they’re close to family. Where do you keep your gram-grams?

Any bodies buried on the property? Yeah some, but most are thrown to the gators.

Any creeping through the balmy summer night with ill intentions? Yeah dude, everyone loves a nice family stroll.

What about dangerous forbidden love? If an adult Addams isn’t incorporeal then they’re either queer or in a torrid romance with some person/thing mysteriously drawn to that awful swamp. Sometimes both at the same time. Most times actually.

Mortesha would know.

The current head of the Addams family is just as outgoing as her husband but a lot quieter and harder to read. She never really seems to get mad about much and always has a genteel smile for everyone whether they deserve it or not. A seven foot tall human shaped “Oh, bless your heart”. A perfectly composed Lady even when she’s, oh I dunno, burning down a Piggly Wiggly. You know. A regular southern mom. Chat her up at the hair salon for 50% off a jar of wasp honey with your next purchase of a mysterious but foreboding packet of herbs.

Designing her was pretty easy because I just drew a lankier Grace Jones and called it a day. I had some problems with her outfit simply because if we were going HARD southern gothic then she’d probably be wearing a white/cream dress with a fuller skirt but I thought keeping the silhouette and the black was more important. She’s supposed to be an anti southern gothic southern gothic character anyway. A woman who looks like she has a million secrets who is actually the most open person you could meet. For better or worse. The red hair came from a coloring error that I really ended up liking (my mom had red hair her whole childhood that only darkened up in high school so I can buy that an Addams can be naturally fire engine red) and the veil was to get more of that classic Morticia silhouette in there.

The Children

Sunday and Blanche are the twin children of Carlisle and Mortesha Addams. Some say the Addams clan got their cursed homestead when a wealthy local businessman made a deal with the devil and lost, leaving his grand mansion to his least favorite maid and cutting his losses once he realized that the swamp would do everything it could to drag the house into the water and take what was owed with its horrible curse. Others say that the family has just always squatted there and no one really cares because man, fuck that particular swamp. Have you been in there? Absolute horror show.

Anyway.

Blanche is the more outgoing sibling and quite the engineer/mad scientist in the making. He started going grey at 2 weeks old but considering he was also rocking some extra fingers, toes, and a tiny tail (he takes after his dad), his parents just put it on the 'not life threatening' pile and decided not to worry about it. He's the kind of smart that teachers find utterly infuriating, less a dog eagerly learning and obeying commands and more a hyena who keeps teaching itself how to pick locks. He has a few friends in his school's robotics club (which they honestly allowed him to make so the school could contain his... creations) but mostly hangs out with his sister exploring the swamp. They find all sorts of neat things in there! wedding rings, suspiciously lumpy garbage bags, cloaked cultists who can't read private property signs, it's an adventure every day!

Blanche is all about experimentation with his creations, his look, and his tether to this mortal coil. Is lipstick a cool thing to try? Let's find out. Can he get out of a strait jacket fast enough after being pushed into the depths of the swamp by his sister? let's find out. He's not dead yet and confused local doctors can attest to the fact that he's rarely attained more than a bad bruise so he's pretty set on continuing to kiss rattlesnakes on their cute little heads and have his sister practice her knife throwing at him until that fact changes.

Blanche is very much a country goth. Cowboy boots (customized by his mom), knife, and lighter are daily accessories. He likes to wear the crusty swamp jewelry they find (the rust adds a splash of color!) and despite appearances he does try to keep himself neat. He's just got natural Grunge Colors and a tendency to wear clothes he likes until they fall apart. Pugsley always seemed the most modernly styled to me (which might just be because little boys clothes have been the same for a long time) so I wanted Blanche to be the most purposely fashionable Addams. Everyone else is goth by nature, but he's the only one truly familiar with goth as an alternative fashion.

I got really into designing Blanche because honestly, I find Pugsley to be the most boring member of the family. And he was hard to design! I had to mess with his vibe a lot to get him looking how I wanted. I know he's supposed to evoke an " 'evil' little boy next door who's parents never reign him in", but that's just goth Dennis The Menace. I's 2020. We can at least go queer goth Calvin.

Sunday was much easier to design. Wednesday was my favorite as a child (of course) and I really wanted to keep the spirit of her look while adding things like billowy sleeves (it gets HOT down here), big poofy twists instead of braids, and a nice tie. She's a professional after all, been running the local pet cemetery since she was 6 and the previous groundskeeper met with an unfortunate accident after telling her that tarantulas don't have souls. Her specialty is creating beautiful naturalistic animal funerals similar to those that Maquenda (https://linktr.ee/artofmaquenda) makes, and she takes pride in creating miniature dioramas of her subjects after each burial which she uses as a kind of 3D catalog for future clients.

She really wants to try out her skills on humans one day. Well. Publicly try out her skills. Lotta random bodies float into the swamp. None of them have turned down her requests for diorama models so far. Most seem downright flattered. Plus, she usually figures out which graveyard/crime scene they floated over from and gets her parents to give them a lift back. She'll even help enact terrifying revenge from beyond the grave on whoever put them there if she's not, y'know, busy.

Besides arts, crafts, and pet based funerary arrangements, Sunday is an avid lover of archery (any ranged weapon really), books where little fantasy adventure animals die dramatic deaths, and history. She is That Kid who eagerly raises her hand when asked who Christopher Columbus was and ends up being sent out of class after 15 minutes for making 'a scene'. Her favorite party trick is just picking an item in the room and talking about how it relates to either some obscure historical figure with a buck wild life or a horrible disaster. At least one charity pancake breakfast ended with children in tears after her vivid description of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919.

Social-wise, while Wednesday is the girl that people ask to smile because they think she'd, "look so pretty", Sunday is rarely asked anything at all. People just kind of assume from her quiet nature (in between horrible history facts) that she's angry all the time and that she hates everyone. This is untrue. She hates some people but she's ambivalent to most everyone else and even downright friendly if you bother to talk to her like a person instead of a terrifying cryptid. Like, she IS a terrifying cryptid but she's also a little girl.

That’s about it for now. One day I might do the other family members but for now I’m happy with the four I’ve redesigned. Making an au! Lurch in a family that doesn’t do butlers could be interesting. Over on patreon I put forth that he could just be Motesha’s mute little brother (similar bone structure) but Amy Crook had the nice idea of quote: “ a mysterious "cousin" that "helps around the house" whose origins are both long in the past and faintly unsettling. He's good for lifting heavy things, like that tank of propane you're about to throw into the burning Piggly Wiggly... “ which i now consider canon. Who's kid is he? How old is he? Not important. Anyone willing to commit arson with you is family.

Annnnyway. This challenge was a lot of fun! I love indulging in AU’s.

#long post #the addams family #Character Design #au #design challenge #i am incapable of doing a design challenge like a normal person #oh god i forgot the cut lol

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thewritetofreespeech · 3 years

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Obey Me + Jealousy

prompt: The Demon Brothers don’t like that you’re spending time with your best friend in the human world. Loosely based off this prompt done previously.

Lucifer

It had been a long time since you had been up to the human world. Even longer since you had seen your best friend. You were so excited to see them! Laughing. Telling old inside stories. Catching up on gossip.

Although you were having a great time in the human world, your escort for the day did not seem to be enjoying all your world had to offer.

In order to get ‘top side’ Lucifer had to come with you. He was the only one able to open the portal there and back, and insisted on coming with you to keep you safe. You felt the need to remind him that the Devildom was the actual dangerous place, but it would take longer than just letting him come.

Now you kind of wish you had taken the time to argue. He was really being a major downer the whole day.

“Are you ok? You seem irritated.” Or, well, more irritated than usual.

“No. I’m fine.” Lucifer replied. Although not lending any credibility to the statement. “I’m just thinking of all the more useful things I could be doing with my time.”

You frown at his flip comment. “If you don’t want to be here, then you can leave. No one is making you stay here.”

“Fine. Since you seem so entertained by your little friend to pay any attention to me, perhaps it is best if I do head home.”

You blink a little at Lucifer’s statement. It was cold, and once again flip, as usual. But you were surprised he mentioned your friend. “Lucifer, are you jealous I’m spending time with them?”

The demon rebuttaled with a surprised look before he frowned at you. “I am not jealous.”

“Really? Cause it seems like your-“I am not jealous!” He repeated, louder and sterner this time. He let that moment linger there before he sighed and looked away with his arms cross. “I am….perhaps irritated to be ignored.”

‘Right, so, totally jealous.’ You think to yourself. But have the good sense to keep that thought to yourself alone. You suppose you could see where he was coming from. It’s hard to be the odd man out when you and your friends get together. Being so proud and prominent in the demon world, this is probably the first time it had happened to Lucifer.

“I’m sorry if you’re feeling left out. I’ll try to be more inclusive.”

“No. You’re right.” Lucifer remarked. Finally looking back at you with a much softer expression. “It’s foolish of me to think I can take all of your time. You deserve some moments of your own. I shouldn’t have intruded.” His hand reached out to cup your cheek, while offering you the faintest of smiles. “I will leave, but not because I’m angry. I want you to spend time with your friend and enjoy it, which would be best when I’m not around. Just call me when you’re ready to come home and I’ll come fetch you.” He released your cheek and took a step back. Smiling at you again before he disappeared.

You wonder, briefly, if he could feel your heart swelling with pride after you left. To think a small human like you could make the great Lucifer jealous.

Mammon

There were a lot of things you loved about Mammon.

His spontaneity. His zest for life. How nothing ever seemed to get him down for too long.

However, it was hard to remember all those good qualities when he was behaving so poorly all day.

“Mammon! Can you knock it off?!”

“What?! I’m just standing here. I’m not good enough at standing here for ya now!” The demon barked back. Not matching your whisper tone at all.

“That’s not what I said, and you know it. You’ve been a jerk all day and I’d like you to cut it out.”

“Oh, so now I’m a jerk! Well sorry sweetheart but I’m a demon. We’re not ‘upposed to be nice and friendly all the time. Sometimes we get ta be jerks!”

“Good lord, say it a little bit louder Mammon!” You hiss back at him letting practically the whole world, or at least this park, know he was a demon.

Mammon tsked his teeth and turned away from you. “Can’t do anything right.” He muttered. “Why don’t you go hang out with your friend then, if I’m such a jerk? You two seem ta be having a grand ol’ time on your own with me here. Shouldn’t make much of a difference if I’m gone.” He said before crossing his arms in a huff.

“Is that what this is about?” You ask. Ignoring his little out burst (because when he gets this way it’s just best to ignore him). “You’re mad that I’m spending time with my friend and not you?”

“No!” Yes. Totally yes.

“Mammon are you jealous?”

The demon floundered comically at the question, his mouth opening & closing like a fish as he tried to find words, before he answered. “I am not jealous!!” Great come back. “The Great Mammon does not get jealous! Ya hear! I’m just pissed because you’re spending all this time with them when I’m the one who schlepped all the way up here for ya, and used my connections to get us top side!” He turned away again and recrossed his arms. Then he muttered under his breath, “it was just supposed to be you and me today, for once.”

A sigh left you lips, and you step closer to Mammon to place your hand on his arm. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin your plans. I was just excited to see my friend. It’s been so long. Plus I wanted you to meet them so I can show you off. You are my first after all.”

Those blue gold eyes got a little wide, and Mammon blushed, before he gulped once and refocused himself. “Y-Y-Yeah! Of course. Ya should be proud to show me off. It’s not everyone who gets to be seen with an all-powerful demon like me. If anyone is ‘jealous’ it should be everyone else for not having the Great Mammon by their side!”

“Of course,” you agree with a giggle. Before you lean up and give him a kiss on the cheek. “I’m lucky to have you.”

“D-Don’t ya forget it!”

Levi

“Hey, [Y/N]-chan, I think I’m gonna head home.”

You look up from your soda at Levi, who was fidgeting beside you after he spoke. “What? Why? I thought you were having fun.”

“Yeah, no. No I mean….you seem like your having fun with your friend so I don’t want to bother you. 3 is a crowd.”

“Levi, that’s not true. You’re not bothering us. I just wanted to spend sometime with my bff while we’re in town.”

“No. I get it. Who would want to hang out with a crummy otaku like me.”

“Levi, that’s not what I said. I do want to hang out with you!”

“But you have your normie friend.” Levi looked past you at the friend in question. “Look at them. Being out, talking to people like a regular person. I can never do that. You should go on without me and leave me here. You seem much happier with them anyway.”

“Levi…come on. That isn’t—” Your train of thought stops itself as it came to a sudden, and abrupt realization. “Levi, are you jealous?”

The blue haired demon responded with his trademark ‘eehhh??’ at the question, and quickly covered his face with is arm. “O-O-Of course not!” He exclaimed. Barely hiding the blush on his cheeks. “Who would be jealous of a normie?? I just I…I mean you…Y-You seem so happy with them [Y/N]-chan. A sad otaku like me can never make you that happy. So it’s just bumming me out!”

You offer Levi a soft smile, then move to squat down in front of him. “True. I am happy when I hang out with my friends. But I’m happy when I hang out with you too. No one can gush about anime with me like you can.” You reassure him. He was the Avatar of Envy after all. What did you expect?

The demon slowly poked his head out from under his arm. “Really?”

“Of course. It’s…not really a side of myself I get to show to people. They think I’m weird. But with you, I can be that part of myself. That’s the part that you have Levi.��

His face turned bright red all over again, and Levi sat there for a moment before he quickly shook his head. “D-Don’t say stuff like that [Y/N]-chan! Don’t make me fall for your normie trap!”

You giggle and stand up again to offer Levi your hand. “Come on. Lets find something we can all do together. The Cineplex is playing some old action movies we can go and make fun of.”

“Oooo! Which ones??”

The distraction of old movies to riff on, and for Levi to share all his in-depth knowledge on, was a welcome alternative for the afternoon. He even had a spirited debate with your best friend on the concepts of CGI graphics vs old school ‘cut & paste’ cinematography. Crisis on planet Earth avoided.

Satan

It was always fun to come back to the human world. Especially with Satan.

Not that you didn’t enjoy spending time with the others, but most of them could be a little....energetic. It was nice to spend a calm afternoon with the 4th brother alone for a change.

You both had stopped in a local coffee shop you loved when you ran into an old friend. You hadn't seen them in so long that you got to talking and eventually invited them to join your table. Where you had been laughing and having a grand time for a while now.

Or so you thought.

Satan hadn’t said a word the whole time you were at the table. Which was necessarily odd. He wasn’t a big talker like some of his brothers. However, you could tell that something was wrong with the way he kept stirring his cup, or how his jaw clenched ever now and then before releasing. His movements subtle, as always.

“I’m gonna get another cup. You want anything?” Your friend asked as they got up from the table, to which both of you motioned no.

“Can we go now.” Your head turned back to Satan at his cool words. “We were supposed to go to the bookstore.”

“We still have time to go to the bookstore.” You tell him. “It doesn’t close until a while from now.”

“Yes. But we agreed to be there at 1:00, and now it’s 1:30. That’s not the way this day was supposed to go.” The blonde replied. Fidgeting with his cup to try and align it perfectly on the saucer. “This day was supposed to be just you and I.”

You blink a little at Satan’s response. Initially thinking that he was miffed about the time. Now, however, you weren’t so sure. “Satan, are you jealous that I paused our date to hang out with my friend?”

The demon sat up straighter; though how you could be sure. Then he frowned. “I am not jealous.”

“No. I get it. It’s hard to be in a group if they have a lot of inside jokes. It’s ok if--“I am not jealous!” He shout. His fist slamming on the table, rattling the frail wood and cups. Alerting everyone in the shop to your conversation.

Satan hissed through his teeth and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Alright. Fine. I am jealous. We so rarely get time away from those idiots, and I was really looking forward to the bookstore with you. Now you have someone else tagging along. Is it so awful to be alone with me?”

Your heart sank a little at that. Was that really how Satan felt? “I’m sorry. That wasn’t my intention. I just wanted to catch up with my friend for a bit since I haven’t seen them in a while. I didn’t mean to disrupt our date.” The demon blinked a few times at the word ‘date’ then blushed. Muttering about how it wasn’t like that, that he was being unreasonable, that it was all fine. Still, you smile and offer to him, “let me tell them goodbye and we’ll go to the bookstore. If we leave now, we can also stop by the pet store and play with the cats if you’d like.”

Satan fidgeted in his chair. Cheek’s still a stark pink against his blonde hair. “I....would like that.”

Asmo

It was a beautiful day in the human world, and you were so excited to be home.

Being able to spend the day in your home town, with your best friend, shopping and just playing around was the best way to spend an afternoon. Who could be sad at a day like this?

“[Y/NNNNNNNN],” Asmo whined. The usually bubbly demon dragging his shopping bags behind him as he pouted behind you. “Can’t we stop for now”

“Really Asmo? You’re usually much more of a marathon shopper.”

“It’s too hot.” He quipped back. Now with more of a frown than a pout. “This humidity is wreaking havoc on my hair.”

“Why don’t I get us something cool to drink?” Your BFF suggested. Trying to stay positive all afternoon, and pretending that they didn’t hear Asmo’s bitter ‘yeah why don’t you do that’ as they took off and he sat down.

“Asmodeus,” you hiss when you were alone. “Who can you be so rude to them? What is wrong with you today?!”

“It’s not my fault!” Asmo snapped back. Looking wounded but also scratching at his chest where his pact mark was to let you know that he knew he messed up. “This was supposed to be a day for you and me! They’re the one that but in!”

“No. You did. I told you I was going top side for a while to hang out with my friend, and you invited yourself along. So now you’re ruining everyone’s day with this behavior. I really don’t get you.”

Asmo stopped scratching at his chest and pouted for real this time.

“I don’t like seeing you with them.” He confessed. “I don’t like seeing you with anyone. Your smile….it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I wanted to come along with you today because I wanted to see your smile. But seeing you happy with someone else is the worst! I don’t even care about any of this anymore. Not even my new shoes.” His foot kicked at his bag sullenly. Asmo must really be upset. “I want to go home and forget all about the human world. I want you to come home with me!”

You listen for a while before you make a confession of your own. “You’re jealous, aren’t you.” It was plain as day now. Or at least now that you realized he wasn’t just being a brat to be a brat.

Asmo turned and glared at you slightly. “Green is not my color.” He insisted before turning away in a huff.

You chuckle, then sit down beside him on the bench. “I think you look good in any color.” You tell him. Softening the demon up. “You know I care about you Asmo. But me being with my friends doesn’t mean I care about you any less. And that’s no reason to be so ugly to them. You need to apologize.”

The demon winced at the word ‘ugly’, but did seem to agree that he needed to turn this around.

When your friend came back, he quickly apologized. Blaming jet lag, or some other ridiculous believable excuse. It didn’t really matter when he turned on the charm. Gods help him if he ever set his mind to something.

Beel

He was stress eating. You could tell.

Although Beel was still shoveling food into his mouth with his usual speed and gusto, by now you could tell the difference in his eating habits. Like when he was just bored and there was food around, or when he was really hungry for something, or when he was excited to try something new. Right now, he wasn’t enjoying what he was eating. Even when he was bored or just eating to eat, Beel always seemed to enjoy it. Even if it was just a vending machine’s worth of junk.

Right now it just looked like he was doing it to take his mind off something.

“Beel? Is something wrong?” You ask softly. Still getting his attention though, and causing him to stop.

“No. Nothing ’s wrong.” He replied. His voice unusually sullen as he wiped his mouth. You knew something was wrong now. He never sounded said when he was eating. Now something was double wrong because he was lying to you.

“Beel….”

“…I don’t like your friend…” He finally confessed after a moment and long bout of staring.

You blink in surprise at his answer. Not expecting that at all. You’ve never heard Beel say a mean word about anyone before. Let alone not liking a person. “You don’t like my friend? Why? Did they do something wrong?”

“It’s not that. I just….don’t like how you are when you’re with them.” He said. Picking at the various candy wrappers he’d left littered on the table. “You seem happy.”

“Of course I’m happy. They’re my friend. I haven’t seen them in a long time, so I miss them.”

Beel flinched a little. “I know….” He seemed to be feeling bad about this now. “And I want you to be happy. I know the human world is your first home. But I’m scared that….if you like it here so much and them, that you’ll leave us again. When you’re not around it’s like this big whole in my stomach and I can’t fill it up.” His stomach growled in protest, or agreement, at his words, and Beel went back to stress eating his vending machine contents again.

Your gaze softened as you finally understood. He was jealous. He thought your friend was going to ‘take you away’ and leave him alone. That of course was silly because you’d never leave him, or the others, ever if you could help it.

You reach out your hand to stop his arm from lifting another fist full of chips to his mouth. Causing him to pause, with his mouth open, and look at you. “All this junk can’t be good for you.” You announce as you stop up from the park table suddenly. “Why don’t I take you to my favorite restaurant in town? My friend used to work there, so I’m sure we’ll get a great table and lots of yummy stuff on the house if we go.”

Beel’s eyes sparkled at the proposition. “Really??”

You giggle. The way to a man’s heart was through his stomach you suppose. Because after this, and a few unlimited fry baskets later, he and your friend were besties for life as well.

Belphie

"[Y/N], I wanna go home."

"Home?" You ask. "But we just got here." You’d only arrived at the park to meet your friend a few hours ago, and had only just started hanging out.

"Well I'm tired.” Belphie muttered.

“Aren’t you always kind of tired?” You ask, as a joke, but it doesn’t seem well received.

Belphie’s frown deepens, and he even lets out an annoyed little growl, before he turns on his heels to walk away. “Belphie! Where are you going?”

“You nap under that tree.” He announced. But doesn’t seem as thrilled as he normally is about the prospect. Napping under trees was like his third favorite nap spot. “You won’t let me go home, so I’m just going to stay there while you hang out with your friend. You won’t miss me anyway.”

The last part of his statement was muttered under his breath, but you still heard it. Was that what he was being so moody about?

“Belphie? Are you jealous I’m hanging out with my friend?”

“Yes.” He replied. Rather quickly considering, with only a moment to scuff the tip of his shoes. “I don’t like that you’re spending time with them and not me. I don’t like being ignored.”

“I’m not ‘ignoring you’.” You tell him. “I’m just hanging out with my friend for a while. I haven’t seen them in a long time. They’ve probably been lonely too.”

Belphegor huffed again and sagged his shoulders. You know you got him.

Belphie might be kind of selfish sometimes, but there was one thing he could empathize with: being alone. He was cast aside and locked out, partially of his own doing, for a long time. So he didn’t want anyone else to feel that way.

“I just don’t like the idea that you like them better than me.”

“I don’t.” You assure him. Stepping in to give him a peck on the cheek, which he adorably flinches at. “I love you both. Differently, but equal. Why don’t we think of something we can all do together then, hm?”

“I’m kind of committed to this nap-tree-idea-thing.” The demon confessed. You have to giggle.

You all don’t nap, but your friend agree to get some ice creams from a vendor in the park and sit under the tree to enjoy them while Belphie napped. It was a remarkably pleasant afternoon. You were glad you got to share it with Belphie.

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bi-bard · 3 years

Text

Bad Jokes - Jack Kline Imagine (Supernatural)

Title: Bad Jokes

Pairing: Jack Kline X Reader

Requested: by @gabrielasilva1510

Word Count: 944 words

Warning(s): jealousy, Sam and Dean being dicks

Summary: After Jack Kline and (Y/n) Rose (Y/l/n) start dating, the Winchesters see a golden opportunity for jokes.

Author's Note: I'll do you one better... both. Okay but there's a bit at the very end that I would pay someone to make art of. It makes me soft.

Hey! I did a rewrite of the ending of Supernatural. It took a really long time to complete, so it would mean a lot to me if you check it out. Here’s a link! (it’s on my personal account)

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It started when I woke up in a dingy motel room to see Sam and Dean were gone. Sam had slept in one bed, Dean on the couch, and Jack and I had gotten to share the other bed. Now, the room was empty aside from Jack and me.

I looked around and sighed. They must've gone for breakfast without telling us.

I rolled over to face Jack. They were still sleeping, clinging to the pillow. I scooted closer and grabbed their hand. I moved their arm so I could cuddle up to them a little more.

My arms wrapped around their torso. I'd rather go back to sleep than get out of bed.

"Good morning," I heard from Jack as I closed my eyes.

I looked up at them and smiled, "Good morning."

Jack leaned down in an attempt to initiate a kiss- a very rare occurrence- but I moved back, shaking my head. Their eyebrows furrowed and they pouted at me.

"Morning breath," I explained, wanting to brush my teeth first. Jack wrapped their arms around me, tightening his grip around my waist.

"I don't care," they whined. "I want a kiss."

I chuckled. I went to get up but was stopped again. Jack leaned down to kiss me but I turned my head away.

"(Y/n)," they muttered. I looked at them. They gave me the sweetest puppy dog eyes you could imagine. "Please."

I sighed before leaning up and pecking their lips. Their smile as I pulled away made me not give a single shit about my morning breath. I leaned in again.

"Oh, ew," Dean yelled as he walked in. "Are you gonna paint each other like one of your French girls or can we come in?"

"Shut up," I muttered, sitting up, accepting the styrofoam containers from him. Sam followed him with coffee.

"I don't get it," Jack mumbled as they sat up too.

"It's another joke about that movie I told you about," I explained, leaning over and kissing their shoulder,

"You still haven't watched it," Dean asked.

"With what time," I sassed.

"How is Jack gonna know what necklace to buy you," Dean continued.

I just rolled my eyes and started eating, "You don't need to buy me a necklace."

Dean was having a field day with this relationship. My middle name was Rose, which was actually a reference to my mother's favorite flower, not the film character.

Sam was having fun with a couple of jokes too but he had more restraint than his brother, who would quote the movie if it meant he could fit a reference into the conversation.

It was nearly an hour into breakfast and coffee that Sam brought up the case. It was the slowest morning we've ever had.

"How about Jack and I head to the library in town, check for any written record," I asked when Sam mentioned not really finding anything online.

"Good idea," he nodded.

I ran off to get changed into proper clothes. Jack waited until I was done. I snagged the impala keys as Jack walked back out into the main room.

"We'll call if we find anything," I said.

"Okay," Sam nodded. He touched my arm for a moment. He suddenly used the most dramatic voice possible. "Don't let go."

"God, I hate you both," I rolled my eyes, grabbing Jack's hand and dragging them outside.

A little while later, Jack and I were walking to a table in the back corner of the library with a stack of books in each of our arms. Who knew a single town could have such an in-depth record of their history?

"I'm gonna head to the bathroom," I said, putting my books down. "I'll be right back."

"Okay," Jack sat down and grabbed a book and grabbed the notebook I had given them out of their bag.

I kissed the top of their head before walking away.

A few minutes later, I was walking back to the table in the library when I saw a girl leaning on the edge. She was giggling at something Jack said, which was causing them to furrow their eyebrows because they didn’t see the humor. They genuinely looked a little uncomfortable.

I felt a ping of jealousy, even though I knew they weren't going to try anything.

I walked over just in time to hear a stellar compliment, "Has anyone mentioned that you look like Leonardo DiCaprio?"

"I tell them all the time that they could be a model," I said as I reached the table.

Jack looked at me instantly and smiled brightly. I leaned down and kissed their cheek. They were blushing when I moved back to take my seat.

"Hi," I said cheerfully to the girl, who was still leaning on the table. I took note of how her smile looked more forced.

"Hi," she replied through gritted teeth.

"I'm (Y/n)," I held a hand out but she ignored it. "Jack's my partner."

"Oh," she seemed angry at me.

Jack just reached over and grabbed my hand, smiling at me. I smiled at them, nothing but love in my eyes.

"Well, it was nice talking to you, Jack," she said. They spared her one more look and grin before turning back to me.

I scooted my chair closer to their's before leaning over and resting my chin on their shoulder. They looked back at the book in front of them.

"Damn, she was trying to be an iceberg," I muttered once I knew she was out of earshot.

"What," Jack asked.

"Nothing," I just shrugged.

If Sam and Dean could make their jokes, I could make mine.

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ocw-archive · 2 years

Text

Quotes from Owen's family, friends and coworkers gathered from interviews, articles, video and the internet.

Andrew on Owen

"It's weird to have the funniest person you know be your own brother, but that's the case with Owen," Andrew says. "He would do things that were incredible."

(on Owen and Luke) "Making a movie together is easy for the brothers, who range in age from 33 to 40, because "we sort of have the same instincts, a similar sense of humor, we think the same kinds of things are funny. There´s kind of a shorthand sometimes when you´re working together," Andrew said."There are some occasional flare-ups, and someone might look at the flare-ups and think, `Oh my God, these guys are about to throw hooks.´ But it never really gets that bad."

(on Owen-doing press for TWBS) "Luke and I do interviews all day. Thank God Owen is with us. Luke and I are groggy and cranky. He carries us."

"Telling Owen to stop ad-libbing is a little like telling a locomotive to make a right turn. We were really lucky to have Owen. It's kind of an amazing thing that my brother is the funniest guy I know. He's incredibly smart. He's got incredible timing," Andrew said. "There's a scene when we first see Owen and he's with Eddie Griffin. They're stealing from the old people at the retirement home and when Luke comes to work there Eddie asked Owen if working with Luke will be a problem and Owen says, 'Oh no. He's an ex-con. We won't have to worry about him.' Owen looks off into the distance and starts singing 'Don't Go Chasing Waterfalls.' Eddie Griffen starts singing with him and it's a capella. This is the kind of stuff Owen just comes up with on the spot and it ends up being one of the funniest parts of the movie. A lot of time I think his improv is born out of necessity, but because the script was so good I think Owen did a little less improv on this movie."

Ben Stiller on Owen

(Ben on why he doesn't see Owen's movies anymore) "It's like watching your girlfriend have sex with another guy."

"I enjoy hanging out with Owen. He's good for a laugh. He's a fun time. It doesn't go much deeper than that."

"The thing about Owen - if you have low expectations, he never disappoints."

(Ben telling why Owen wanted to do S&H) "He told me he wanted to do it because of the three-way kiss scene. "[He] basically looks for any sex scenes with multiple partners in the script. That's what attracts [him] to a role."

"I'm always hoping to discover that Owen is actually deeper than he seems, and I am continually disappointed. I am always plumbing the depths, and I keep on hitting bottom."

"That's his stock quote for everything: 'It works pretty good for me.' That's when you know he's not really paying attention. "

(on the brothers' closeness) "Even if you talk to them, their voices are very similar," Stiller said jokingly. "Their cadences and what makes them laugh, they're very close. But they're a unique family. They've got their own connection that even I don't really understand. They're very smart, funny guys."

"I read the script. Owen likes to use the call sheet as a starting point as to when to show up on the set."

"That's when I realized we were a comedy duo, when I saw Behind Enemy Lines. I realized Owen should never be alone."

"Owen is a real ham when you get the camera in front of him."

"Owen's always off working in some Eastern European country; and now I'm married with a kid, so we don't get to spend as much time together. Doing a movie is a perfect excuse for us to hang out, laugh and have some fun."

"You know what they used to say about people like Warren Beatty - they make you feel like you're the only person in the room? That although you've only been with them five minutes, you are special to them? That's Owen."

"It's hard to get in touch with Owen because usually he's out of touch, and late, and doesn't read the script. It's sort of like you have to control him on the set. He's like a child in that way - a beautiful, wonderful, creative child."

"Owen is fascinating to watch, because it always seems like he has something on his mind and you don't know what it is," says Ben Stiller, who costars with Wilson in the upcoming film Meet the Parents. "His friends do Owen impressions with that cadence and demeanor and voice. But he's really inimitable."

"Girls love him," Stiller said. "He has that little sparkle in his eye."

In a scene in "Zoolander," Stiller and Wilson, two competing male models, get into an insult fight. "He challenges me with a line from 'American Me': 'Who you trying to get crazy with? Don't you know I'm loco?' It gets a big laugh. It's his own personal reference, and it doesn't even matter if you know it or not."

"He's got this kind of obviously very laid-back view of the world," Stiller said. "Some people can imitate him, but nobody can understand where it comes from."

"The first time I met Owen - along with his brother Luke and Wes Anderson - was when I saw Bottle Rocket, a black-and-white short that was Wes' first movie. Anyway I was casting The Cable Guy at the time and I decided to cast Owen in a small part - he's the guy that Jim Carrey beats up in the bathroom scene. Then we did a film called Permanent Midnight together. He played my best mate. We became friends and have been ever since."

"I'm a big fan of his. He's from Texas and I'm from New York. We have very different backgrounds yet, for some reason, we connect and just laugh at the same things. It's great to work with somebody who excites you and makes you laugh out loud. With Owen, you never know what he's going to do next. He's had an incredible career in a short amount of time, working in the mainstream but doing some unique stuff."

"Owen was the most important casting to me in the movie because I think he is one of the funniest people around--and the part was written for him. I don't think the movie could have been made if he couldn't do it. He's a friend of mine and we've worked together a number of times. We love working together. I think he is such an important part of the movie because making a movie like this where it's based on a short film--a sketch originally--you figure out ways to make it work in a longer format and you have to introduce new elements. I think the best thing about his character is that he's real and goofy. The relationship with Derek and Hansel is really important and a real thing. He is just a uniquely funny guy. There's no other person like Owen."

📷"It's not true that blondes are vapid but Owen doesn't do anything to dispel that myth."

Bob Wilson on Owen

"They (his sons) did short plays as the Farquhar Players. I was generally the brunt of the action. They'd set up three stools and one of the boys would play me driving the other two out to East Texas or somewhere, trying to whack the two in the back seat. It was nice to have them act it out rather than rebel."

"He chose to go to the military academy himself. He said to me, 'You never could have sent me, Dad'. And he was right. It was a huge surprise, but he graduated."

Fann Wong on Owen

"Owen is much more quiet and very gentle. He's very talented. He helped me all the time with the script and my lines. And he's very attractive!"

"From his past movies, I had this impression of him as funny and a bit cocky. But he's very gentle in person, a bit shy and very talented."

Gene Hackman on Owen

"I thought he was wonderful in that movie, and that he looked like a real movie star," Hackman says. "A real actor playing a movie star in a film that wasn't about a movie star. I like that kind of theatricality that some people can pull off. I talked to my agent and we recommended that the studio see the film. They agreed with us that it was a good idea." - on why he recommended Owen for Behind Enemy Lines.

"I just thought in Shanghai Noon that he looked like a movie star. He was wonderful. Something just came out of his persona that was wonderful on screen."

Hampton Fancher on Owen

"Owen was just perfect. You ask him a question, and he's just huh?"

"I wanted Owen [Wilson], the character of Vann, to roll in the grass at one point. And all of the sudden the costumer said, "We have to get the double pants, because what if he gets a grass stain?" I said, "He's not going to get a grass stain!" I had two minutes to shoot this thing. And I said, Don't worry!" And then everybody sides with her because it's a crew thing. And my accomplices—my producer, my cameraman, my, my, my…and I'm saying, "Hey, don't do—" and they're saying, "No, it's a good idea." And I get down on the grass, and said, "Look, you can't get a grass stain! Owen—get down there, show ‘em!" They all team up against me. I said, "Okay—I don't want to get those other pants!" It became like a point of honor. And they got the other pants."

"[Owen's] intelligence prevailed. I don't mean that we changed anything—the opposite. There's a very funny moment in the film—one of the funniest—and Owen is very discreet, and he said, (wickedly imitating Owen's laid-back accent) "Don't do this, Hampton. Don't do this, Hampton, please don't do this scene!" I said, "I'm gonna do it, Owen." When I told him about it originally—it's with Brian Cox in the backyard—he said, "Don't, man, you're gonna get a laugh." I said, "I want a laugh." "No, but it's the wrong kind—don't do it." And I said, "I'm gonna do it." I think that's the only time he was wrong about anything."

"Janeane also loved [Owen], and her accepting the role also had a lot to do with him being in the film. When Owen was Vann, she really wanted to work with Owen, and she would only have been able to do it if she felt comfortable with whomever she worked."

Harry Dean Stanton on Owen

Harry Dean Stanton referred to Luke and Owen as Lothar and Schmidt on the set, 'because they reminded him of a couple of German Shepards barking at him whenever he would try to ad-lib.'

James Brooks on Owen

"For somebody else, it could be they'd forget their purpose. For Owen, that built-in ironic prism in front of his eyes will pull him through all that stuff. I get the biggest kick whenever I hear Owen's new salary, when his price goes up. It's not what he's about, so it's great when it happens to him."

"Those guys are so close. It's staggering that three are brothers. . . . Their rhythms are different from everybody else, and the way they care for each other is different. All that stuff in the film about loyalty, honor and friendship is really the way they are."

"There were some hard times," Mr. Brooks admitted. "Wes is very opinionated and very stubborn. And Owen, who does not think the same way as Wes, is also stubborn. All I could do was point to what I saw were problems and press for solutions. The process could get very emotional."

"Owen is a great laugher. I never in my life met anyone who laughed more often and still seemed genuinely surprised every time he did."

Jackie Chan on Owen

"Owen's worst habit? He eats a lot. He eats whatever he feels like."

"In the beginning, I didn't even like him. He was quiet. I was hiding my English. But later we were friends."

"Owen works a little harder ... because he is always trying to improve the script and make it funnier. He likes to try out different jokes that he comes up with on the spot ... [he] is very good with dialogue."

"Owen is a nice guy," Chan wrote in his film diary. "He doesn’t like the idea of having to hit anybody, even if it is not real."

"When Owen comes over, so does Garcia. Now I have to bring enough food for both of them. "

"I am glad these guys trust me. They are not only my co-stars, but also my friends. I have to protect them from harm. I checked their wires to make sure everything was OK. If I didn’t feel safe, I wouldn’t have allowed them to do the stunt. Owen is a nice guy, and I don’t think he’s had to hit many people in his life, so I had to show him the best way to do it without hurting himself or others. I think he doesn’"t like the idea of having to hit anybody, even if it is not real."

"I'm really starting to enjoy working with Owen. The more we work together, the more fun I have with him. He's changed so much from "Shanghai Noon." He is more relaxed, more playful, more creative and more committed. I really like his little dog, "Garcia." He must be Owen's inspiration. He has become our mascot. Every day, we all play with him on the set. He lifts all our spirits and brings a smile to all our faces. Somebody discovered that he really likes laser pointers, so now everybody has one so they can play with him. I think it's a good thing we found something to distract him, otherwise he often tries to get into the shot. We're really good buddies now. In the beginning Owen was a very shy person and kept to himself and now he's more confident and he comes to my trailer."

"Owen is a very very shy person!"

📷"Owen is a nice guy. He doesn't like the idea of having to hit anybody, even if it's not for real."

Kamil Kollarik (a Behind Enemy Lines co-star)

"I spent 14 days making this movie. Owen was at the beginning reserved, but then we became friends, but at first he was my colleague. But at the end I felt from him, that is is the 'STAR'."

Laura Wilson (mom) on Owen

"I remember when Owen was in college, he didn't pass Spanish class one semester, and I asked, 'How could you not pass?' " Wilson said, laughing. "He said, 'I was busy writing a screenplay.' And I said, 'What are you going to do with the rest of your life?' I didn't realize how serious he was then about being a filmmaker."

Luke on Owen

"I get the feeling people sometimes kind of think he's selling out. But movies like Armageddon and The Haunting are the kinds of movies we'd go to, the kinds of movies that as kids we loved. I like how he juggles both - it's the way that he is."

(on Owen & Wes' writing process) "They're like one of those couples that you wonder, "Are they really together?" It was kind of a closed-door affair sometimes. I get the feeling they both toss out names, ideas, fragments. But I couldn't tell you. And if I can't, I think probably nobody can."

(on their reported behind-the-scenes fights) "That is all show. On the whole we love each other".

"It’s not weird to be in box office competition. But it’s really weird to have trailers out at the same time and it’s weird to both have movies coming out. It’s strange enough to be in the movies, but to have a movie coming out at the same time as my brother is really odd. I get more nervous about how his movie is going to do than I do about my own for some reason. We’re best friends so we don’t really get into whose movie is going to make more money."

"You know I have friends back in Texas that complain we haven’t changed. They’re like “we wish Hollywood’s changed you.” No, but I mean, people ask me that all the time, but it’s like we really love each other and we’ve always been best friends. I really look up to Owen and admire him and I see him on another level than myself. He’s the one who kind of gave me start and he’s a real accomplished writer. I would feel like a fool to be real competitive with him. It’s like me and Owen and my brother Andrew, it’s like we’re competitive in terms of shooting baskets. But not work-wise. We want to work together and see the other guy do as best as he can."

"Yeah, I mean, In my family, humor is a constant so we’re always recounting things and stuff like that. You know Owen’s always prompting me to tell a story that I’ve told before. You know sometimes you’re not in the mood to tell a story and Owen will like make me tell a story and get irritated when I don’t remember specifics. I remember the last time I told a story I was like well why don’t you tell it. I mean he knows what I’m going to say, it’s just that he likes to hear things over and over. But yeah I mean I love to hear a good story. It’s just you can’t beat stuff that actually happened."

"Honestly, I get asked so much whether there is a competition between me and Owen. But yeah, for me, it's a tough business, not unlike others, but I wouldn't be doing it if it weren't for Owen and I've always looked up to him as a writer."

"I think he's a different guy onscreen and off-screen, so I really admire him and look up to him, and we're real supportive of each other. And it's great to be able to work with family and friends, and people you're close to in Los Angeles."

"As for the Around the World in 80 Days thing, that's one of those things, I think, where Owen kind of told me I was doing it. Someone mentioned to me, 'remember, you have the Wright Brothers thing to do in that movie in June'."

"Owen seemed worried that he was doing a weird character—which he was," he says. "I'll never forget him walking from a wardrobe fitting in that white suit, with a belt that had a 'D' for Dignan on it. The pants were too high, and they were tight. I didn't change my expression, but on the inside, I was laughing. He was saying, 'How does this look? Does it look cool?' And I said, 'Yeah, it looks great!'"

"We're good friends and I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing today if it wasn't for Owen. ``I have always looked up to him as a writer. He inspires me."

"When I'm working on Owen's film, he's the boss." Occasionally there is old baggage that you bring along from having grown up together, but we really get along, and I think there's nothing better if you get along with family."

(after seeing Owen in Behind Enemy Lines) "I was amazed at how good he was. I can’t look at my older brother the same way. He’s a hero in this."

"I definitely feel people don’t know who he is," Luke, his younger brother, has said. "A lot of people say he’s a goofball. I don’t think of him as a goofy guy."

"We spend a lot of time together, so we go back to Texas together a lot," Luke said. "We just get along really well together. And growing up, I was kind of a shy kid, so I would always hang around Owen, and his friends became my friends. My brother [Andrew] and I would spend all my time with him, so we've always been very close and done everything together, so it was only kind of natural when Wes and Owen wrote a script. We'd try to make it together, and that's just kind of how it went."

(on buying Owen a gift for his first home) "I found a great picture of Elvis standing in front of the first house he ever bought," he smiles. "Owen loved it."

(on the possibility of Owen having a wax figure at Madame Tussaud's; Luke advises artists not to mess with Owen's trademark nose) "It's what makes him recognizable -- unlike me, who [gets mistaken for] David Arquette."

"That's one Owen just kinda told me I was doing. I was, like, 'Did ya hear? They think we're playing the Wright brothers in a Jackie Chan movie!' And he said 'We are.' And I was, like, 'Okay, I didn't get that memo.' But we are going to do it, sometime this summer for a day or two."

"People always ask me if we're competitive. We're competitive in sports and stuff, but career-wise, I've always looked up to Owen. I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing now if it weren't for him."

"Owen takes notes and writes things down that he hears. It's always kind of funny when I go in to get something out of his room and I see a notebook and it'll just have the strangest scene written down. It'll make you laugh or smile and yeah, he's just kind of good at doing that kind of thing.""

"Owen likes to say that one minute you're swimming with me in the ocean, and the next, you look up and I'm driving away."

"Even my mother calls me 'Owen' or 'Andrew', and I don't bother to correct her."

"It bothers me when people ask if Owen and I are competitive," he says with a touch of annoyance. "It's not like 'my rentals are higher but you're beating me at the box office'. We're not the Sunshine Boys, but we love each other. I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing if it weren't for him."

(the BB gun incident) "We were obsessed with BB guns, and we weren't allowed to have them for so long. My parents were anti-guns and they thought if we got one we're gonna want to take a shot at a can, then at a squirrel and then you're gonna want to shoot a close friend or a brother. They were right - my brother Andrew still has a pellet lodged in his knuckle to this day. He had Owen cornered in a tool shed and it was like an Old West shoot-out. He had a hose and he was trying to flush him out and Owen just kind of stuck the gun out and got lucky and hit my brother in the knuckle."

"People would say, 'I can't believe you still live with your brother. How old are you, anyway?' I thought, 'Shit, man, Owen's thirty-four, I'm thirty-one, I should let him enjoy his home.'

(on moving out of Owen's house)" Yes, but I have purchased a house. He encouraged me, saying, "You're really doing well now. You should be able to get a good place. I think he'll be sad when I really move out, though."

"I would say if I had to rate our positions in the family, Owen is the provocateur, and I am the peacemaker."

"We were best pals growing up. All we did was kid each other."

"Our dad said when we were all together we created our own lowest common denominator."

(on living with his brother) "One of the nice things is that you don't have to be real polite."

"I live with Owen because I don't own any furniture."

"It bothers me when people ask if Owen and I are competitive. It's not like, 'My rentals are higher but you're beating me at the box office.' We're not the Sunshine Boys, but we love each other. I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing if it weren't for him."

Luke Wilson, later a St. Mark's graduate, dryly notes, "Owen didn't leave much of a legacy."

"I found a great picture of Elvis standing in front of the first house he ever bought," he smiles. "Owen loved it."

"But we try and stick together and support each other. I was always a shy kid, so I hung out with Owen and his friends. We still go home to Texas a lot together, and we hang out here in LA as well."

"We're very competitive in ping-pong." Luke jokes. "But as far as work goes, I feel that Owen is on another level. He's a really good writer, and he's produced a few movies. So I look up to him. I don't feel competitive because he's on another plain than I'm on. If it wasn't for Owen, I wouldn't be here doing what I'm doing."

"I cheated a little and got into a bit of trouble, but not enough to get expelled - like Owen did! I would say if I had to rate our positions in the family, Owen is the provocateur, and I am the peacemaker."

"I can remember my dad getting irritated with us as kids all hanging around together. He said when we got together, we were our own lowest common denominator."

"He just tends to lock the house if he's got company so I just get in the garage, lay the seat back and catch a few winks." - Luke on what happens at their house if Owen has "company".

"My brother Owen and I came on for our first movie which was Bottle Rocket, and well we had an argument that we were kinda, as a joke, going to wear, like, an ill-fitting coat and tie, kinda like a 6th grade photo because nobody knew who we are. So we get backstage; we had separate dressing rooms and Owen doesn't have the coat and tie on and I said, "What happened, we're doing the coat and tie thing?" and he said, "We're not doing it now." and I said, "Well I got it on already!" Next thing I know we're getting introduced and we come out and it doesn't get any better from there..." - Luke on his and Owen's first appearance on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.

"Owen's encouraged me to kind of find lodging elsewhere. He did just tell me a couple of days ago, "How's the house hunting going?", you know it hasn't been the most energetic house hunting on my half, I kinda like being at the house. Well Owen did just tell me to like, "take your time finding a place, I just want you out by the 1st of January", that's like in 2 weeks!"

"He had that real chlorine smell on him." - on Owen's job as a pool cleaner.

"I think Owen kind of suggested I do it, like, eight years ago. I was kind of complaining about the jobs I wasn't getting, stuff I didn't feel connected to. I think he was really trying to get me to shut up," Luke said.

Luke on Andrew and Owen: "We're basically kinda friends," he says, and grinning slyly, adds, "Friends that you can offend over and over again."

Luke on Owen: "He always has me kind of playing nut cases," Luke says. "Or guys who have to go into hospital for exhaustion. But I just thought Owen could do a really good and funny job with that. It's one of those characters that could have been a little too broad. But Owen did it and came up with good things."

Luke on Owen and Andrew: "We see each other every day, so I guess we get along," Luke says. "But it's not like it's any honeymoon or anything like that."

On their nights at the stripclubs: Luke goes: "Ah, geez." Andrew goes: "I know nothing." He laughs. "Ask Owen." And Owen goes: "Ha!"

Luke on Owen in TWBS: "He added a lot to his scenes," Luke says. "Sometimes I'd wonder what Owen thought I was doing. But once he got down to Austin and around Harry Dean and the others I could feel him sense that this could turn out pretty good. That made me feel good."

📷"He's a triple threat: actor, accomplished writer, and producer."

Sheryl Crow on Owen

"We really mirrored each other in a lot of aspects."

(on the song, Safe & Sound) "That song was definitely about our struggle - Owen's and mine - inside and outside of the relationship."

"But I love Owen. He's so talented, and a great, great person."

Todd Phillips on Owen

"He has, like, a stoner memory. You know how stoners really remember bizarre little facts in intense detail? With Owen, it's ridiculous."

Tom Dey on Owen

"Owen is in a league of his own. And a world of his own," says Shanghai Noon director Tom Dey. "But I knew after the first take of the first scene--he's a star waiting to happen."

"Owen is excellent with dialogue and at editing scenes to their bare bones efficiency."

"At the beginning of each day, Owen and I would sit under a tree and throw ideas and lines at each other."

Vince Vaughn on Owen

"With Owen, life gets in the way. Ben makes things happen and with Owen, things happen to him."

"The strange thing with Owen is that I still feel that although he's funny on screen, he's even funnier in real life."

Wes Anderson on Owen

"Yeah, I mean it happens. That's the way it happens. But I don't feel like we're, right now I feel like our....The friendship that gets the most strain is the one between me and Owen. And I feel like that's as strong a friendship now as it's ever been, and we still have several movies we want to do together. And I just sort of feel like, it's not something that I feel worried about right now."

"We never had any money, so it was kind of limited. There was just a lot of hanging around and reading and going to movies."

"Owen wanted us to go into advertising at one point, and he says he investigated joining the military, which I didn't know."

"That was the smoothes-things-out conversation which then becomes the general criticisms, the 'Okay, I agree, but here's your big problem."

"We're like an old married couple. Never go to bed angry."

(asked about a paper he wrote for Owen in college) Edgar Allen Poe. "The Cask of Amontillado." The deal was, we lived in this house and I lived upstairs. I found the place, so I moved in first, and I took the top floor of this little house. It had its own balcony, its own bathroom and it was kind of a big room. He lived downstairs next to the kitchen. It just wasn't a very good room. The deal was that we would switch after mid-term. But he got in trouble with this Edgar Allen Poe paper and couldn't get it together and he really needed a good grade on it, so I made him a deal that I would stay upstairs for the rest of the year and I would write up the paper. But I have to say, he had created this relationship with the professor where the professor thought he was unfocused and searching, but interesting and talented. The professor was interested and thought Owen had something, but Owen had never really turned in his papers and had always done half-baked work. Then I wrote what was probably a pretty good paper and he got an A-plus on the paper. The professor thought, "See? This is what this guy could do." So I think Owen really got his money's worth."

(on being in the same playwriting class at the University of Texas at Austin) “I probably wasn’t going to say that much, so why be right in front?” Anderson explains. “And Owen—I don’t think Owen could have sat [up front] and read the paper. I noticed that he never said anything, and he didn’t seem to have written a play.”

(on casting Owen as Dignan in Bottle Rocket) "Owen didn't think it was a good idea for him or Luke to be in it. He thought we should have real actors, and that it would somehow make us unprofessional. But obviously, no one was going to be as good as Owen."

"Owen is the middle child. In some ways, that makes him have to sort of grow up, in a way, fending for himself in ways that the others might not have. Because, the first born one, there's a lot of things focused on him. Then, when Owen is born, there's two of them, and he doesn't get quite as much attention. But when Luke is born ... Luke is the baby, and gets a different type of attention. So there's something that comes out of that." "But the rare thing," Anderson said, "is that those are three brothers who are very good friends and spend a lot of time together, which I feel like I don't see that that often. I feel like I'm very close with my brothers. But one of them goes to Providence, Rhode Island - that's my younger brother, Eric -- [he] and I, we've been around each other a lot more. But the three of them have always been together."

"We were rehearsing a scene," Anderson, director of The Royal Tenenbaums, recalled, "and Owen was kind of mumbling and reading off the page and we had Gene Hackman there. I said, ‘You’re supposed to have it memorized.’ Owen’s like, ‘I don’t memorize before the rehearsal.’ I said, ‘What are you talking about?’ He said, ‘Wes, this is my seventh movie. This is the way I do it.’ Somewhere around Anaconda, he made a shift that I didn’t even know about."

""So this is the third movie that Owen Wilson and I have written together, and, in a way, every movie that we've written we've had a different, sort of, method of working with each other. People always ask "How do you guys write together?", and, you know, we always have to come up with some kind of answer, but it's really hard to describe because it's so different at different moments. Sometimes it's just us sitting together somewhere and talking. You know, "Bottle Rocket" was the movie where we worked the closest, because after that Owen became an actor, and as time's gone by he's become more and more successful as an actor to the point that now he's really genuinely a movie star. And, you know, in the case of this movie, I ended up on my own much more than I would like to be, but I feel like the center of our writing collaboration is this sort of sensibility and the kind of voice that we've developed together and has a lot to do with whatever we share in our sense of humor, and whatever we share in the books we've read, the books we've read growing up especially, and the movies that we've loved, and then all this vast amount of time we've spent with each other. So I think even if I'm writing alone, as seen, I'm drawing on something that Owen and I share, something we kind of invented together, and that's what I think all the movies we've worked on really come from - it's meeting of our two perspectives.

(on seeing Owen act in blockbusters like Anaconda and Armageddon) "You're not really experiencing the movie. It's just like, 'I'm waiting to see Owen. There he is!' I thought he was funny in The Cable Guy. I think he's listed in the credits as Obnoxious Date."

(on living with the Wilson brothers) "There's lots of terrible things that happen living in the same house with people. They're mostly just matters of hygiene, I would say."

"We were doing a playwriting class together: this thing where everybody, about nine of us, sat around a table and discussed plays. And I always sat in one corner, not really at the table, and Owen always sat in another corner, not really at the table, and we never spoke the whole semester. I never even met him."WES: Actually, it was fairly civilized. But we worked with lots of different producers, and they each had criticisms, so we would end up on the same side - angry at them."

"We do a lot of talking about what we're going to write for a long time before we ever start to write. And when we do start writing, it's a lot of trading scraps of paper back and forth for a long time. That sort of grows into something."

"Owen gives me stacks of paper, scraps of dialogue or an idea for a scene. And we may come up with dialogue when we're talking. But I'm the one who actually makes it into a script. With Tenenbaums, he was acting in a lot of other movies, so I was on my own more than before."

"Owen [Wilson] criticizes me for collecting books that I will never have the time to read,"

"We were rehearsing a scene, and Owen was kind of mumbling and reading off the page and we had Gene Hackman there," Anderson said. "[I said,] 'You're supposed to have it memorized.' Owen's like, 'I don't memorize before the rehearsal.' [I said,] 'What are you talking about?' [He said,] 'Wes, this is my seventh movie. This is the way I do it.' Somewhere around 'Anaconda,' he made a shift which I didn't even know about."

" He remembers a vicious bout of chess while they were students together at the University of Texas. "Owen bet me he was going to beat me in three moves – and I was like, there's no way you're gong to beat me in three moves. But he had some really great gambit that he'd read about – and he did, he won! I was stunned." They haven't played chess since. "He's also a terrible winner and a terrible sport – winner or loser. He's very well known for welching on bets, for not paying debts and trying to do anything he can, double or nothing until it goes away... I'm his perfect opponent because I'm going to lose and it's gonna mean a lot to me that I lost."

"Yeah. Well, you know, initially, my writing partner, Owen Wilson, and I--he'd always been encouraging me to write about my parents' divorce. He always thought there was something there that would be a good basis for something. And so that's what I thought we were doing. But the more we worked on the script, the less it had anything to do with my family or my parents' divorce, and the more it was sort of invented and the more dysfunctional it became. It kind of just went off on its own. "

"You know, very much. I mean, as much as sort of devoted as I am to my own family, I do remember a series of families over the years that I was always trying to get myself adopted into because of the things that were going on in their houses. And that's definitely where this Eli Cash character that Owen plays comes from."

📷"He's also a terrible winner and a terrible sport - winner or loser. He's very will known for welching on bets, for not paying debts and trying to do anything he can, double or nothing until it goes away."

#quotes #misc

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fangirlwriting-stories · 3 years

Text

A Kind Of Understanding

Summary: Remus' decision to babysit a kid for a couple nights to earn some extra cash ends up getting him in over his head when the kid tells him something the parents didn't mention.

In all fairness, Roman had told him he was probably getting in over his head. Remus was the idiot who didn’t believe him.

He just needed money. If he was actually going to be able to afford all the spray paints he wanted for his new art project by the roller rink, he was going to need a lot more money than he had. Curse him and his ambitious ideas.

Remus considered himself lucky when he quickly found a family willing to pay 60 bucks a night to watch their eight year old kid. Roman took one look at the offer and said he was definitely going to be dealing with a brat.

“Why else would they pay so much?” he asked, giving the flyer a suspicious look.

“So? I need, like, two hundred bucks to get the kind and amount of spray paint I need. I’d only have to watch the bratty kid for four nights and I’d be good. I can set her up in front of a movie she really likes, make her some mac and cheese for dinner, and it’ll be all good.”

“I think you’re underestimating kids, Re. You have met Patton and Logan, right?”

Patton and Logan were Virgil’s little brothers, and Remus honestly wasn’t sure why he was bringing them up, because they were both absolute sweethearts. Sure, Logan could sometimes get a chip on his shoulder about being too old for a babysitter, and Patton could be a bit of a crybaby sometimes, but otherwise Remus never minded when Virgil brought his friends along for a hangout. Especially when Patton teased Roman about liking Virgil, and Remus got to watch him go bright red with embarrassment.

Well okay, granted, Logan had been much more insufferable when he was Patton’s age. But Patton was still a sweetheart.

“I’m telling you, I’ve got this,” he said, waving Roman’s concerns off. “It’s just one little girl, anyway. How hard could it be?”

This was the attitude Remus took with him when going to the Ekans house the following night. The parents sent him the address, and the mom was waiting outside.

“Hi, Mrs. Ekans,” Remus said, putting on his ‘I am talking to an adult that I respect’ voice. “I’m Remus.”

“Yes, hello dear,” she said. “I was so happy to get your call. It can be rather hard to find a babysitter to deal with Janice, what with how she can get with all her silly fantasies.”

Remus tipped his head in confusion. “Silly fantasies?”

“Oh, I’m sure she’ll tell you all about it. You don’t need to indulge her, dear, we’ve told her many times that no one who watches her will be doing so. But anyway, here’s ten dollars for a tip, we ordered a pizza, the delivery man should be here any minute, so you won’t have to worry about dinner.”

“Thanks,” Remus said, taking the money and putting it in his pocket to grab when the delivery person showed up.

The door opened behind the two of them and a man came out, adjusting a tie. Behind him, a girl in a sparkly pink dress stood in the doorway, who could only be Janice.

“Oh, good,” the man said when he noticed Remus. “Janice, your babysitter’s here, be good for him, okay?” He turned to Remus. “Bedtime is at 8, pizza’s on the way, otherwise you should be good to go.”

“Thanks,” Remus said again, heading past him and into the house. They both waved at Janice as they left, who notably did not wave back.

As soon as the car drove off, Remus shut the door and turned to face Janice. “Well, sweetheart—” he started.

“First of all,” Janice snapped, sounding so furious that it took Remus aback. He had barely even said anything yet. “I have rules.”

Remus raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t that kind of my job?”

“No!” Janice screamed, stamping her foot. “You are here for me, that means I’m the boss! First of all, don’t ever call me sweetheart. And I am going into my room to change into my real clothes, and you aren’t going to stop me!”

Remus’ brow furrowed. “What’s wrong with the clothes you have on now?” he asked.

“Dresses are for girls,” Janice snapped, voice filled with way more vitriol than Remus expected. “I’m a boy. And you are not going to take away the only chance I get to wear my real clothes!” And, like that decided that, he turned and stormed away towards the back of the house and where his room no doubt was.

Remus looked after the kid, blinking for a second as he tried to process everything that had just happened. So that’s what Mrs. Ekans meant by silly fantasies.

Well, fuck, he was way out of his depth with shit like this.

The kid came out of the hallway a couple minutes later wearing a t-shirt and shorts. And while the t-shirt was still bright pink, he at least looked a little more comfortable than he had in a dress.

“Okay, J— kid,” Remus said. “So let me see if I’ve got this right. You say you’re a boy?”

“Yes,” the kid snapped. “And you don’t get to say otherwise, you got it?”

“Hey, understood,” Remus said, holding his hands up. “Can I just ask a question?”

The kid narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms. “What?”

“Do you want me to still use the name your parents gave me, or do you want me to call you something else?”

The kid seemed to grow even more suspicious at that question. “Mom didn’t tell you not to indulge my silly fantasies?”

“Doesn’t seem to me like there’s anything silly about it,” Remus said with a shrug. “I was just wondering if you had a different name picked out.”

The kid’s eyes widened slightly, though not enough to stop looking suspicious. “You can do that?”

“Of course you can,” Remus said, taking a couple steps forward and kneeling down in front of the kid. “I have a friend named Virgil who changed his name. He used to be called Jacob, but he hated that name. He thought it was boring.”

“He was right,” the kid said instantly. Remus laughed.

The kid seemed to think for a minute. “I don’t know,” he said finally. “I didn’t know you could do that.”

“Do you want me to use the name your parents gave me, then?”

“No,” the kid snapped instantly, looking angry again.

“Okay. Got it. For now, I’ll just call you kid. How’s that?”

The kid seemed to consider that for a minute, then nodded. “Okay.”

Remus smiled. “Okay. So your parents said that a pizza delivery person should be here soon. Do you want to watch a movie while we eat?”

“No,” the kid snapped. “Movies are stupid.”

Remus blinked. “Okay. What do you want to do while we eat?”

“I want to sit in silence and do nothing!” the kid snapped.

Remus blinked again. “Uh, I’m not so sure that would be very fun.”

“You’re not fun anyway!” the kid screamed.

Remus was honestly a little offended. How dare this child say he wasn’t fun? He could be super fun! Before he could reply to correct this wildly false statement, the doorbell rang.

Remus stood up and headed over to the door, and opened it to see, as expected, the pizza delivery person.

“Thanks,” Remus said, taking the pizza and pulling out the ten dollar bill Mrs. Ekans had left him. He handed it to the delivery person, who thanked him and headed back towards the car parked out front. Remus shut the door and carried the pizza over to the table, and the kid came over after him and grabbed one of the plates that had been left out on the counter.

“Give me two pieces,” he said, holding the plate out to Remus.

“Let’s start with one,” Remus said, taking the plate.

“No!” the kid snapped. “I want two!”

“Kid, I’m gonna start you with one,” Remus said, taking a piece of pizza and putting it on the plate.

“No!” the kid snapped again. “I want two pieces! I’m hungry, are you trying to tell me I shouldn’t eat until I’m full? That can have harmful consequences!”

Remus took a deep breath. “I am going to start you with one. If you want another piece after you finish that one, I will happily give you one.”

“I want two right now!” the kid screamed, stamping his foot.

Remus squeezed his eyes shut. “Nope,” he said, handing the kid the plate.

The kid narrowed his eyes, and Remus had a second to wonder if eight year olds still threw temper tantrums, when instead the kid shot Remus a glare that could kill and stomped into the other room and sat down on the couch.

Remus took a piece of pizza and put it on the plate. This was about as bad as it was going to get, right?

…

“Kid, you need to go to bed,” Remus said, leaning against the door frame, looking at the kid who was sitting resolutely and reading through a book.

“Why should I? Bedtime is a social construct.”

“Oh my god,” Remus groaned, looking up at the ceiling. This had been a recurring theme for most of the night. The kid’s father was apparently a philosophy nerd, and the kid listened in on a lot of his conversations about the subject with his wife, and had turned that into a belief that all of society was a construct and he could do whatever he wanted. He was brilliant for an eight year old. And it was as annoying as all fuck.

“Look,” Remus said. “If you go to bed now, next time I come, I’ll bring you a surprise.”

“What kind of surprise?” the kid asked, narrowing his eyes. “How could any surprise you give me be worth it?”

“Well, if you don’t go to bed now, you’ll never know,” Remus pointed out.

The kid seemed to know exactly what Remus was doing with that, but he also finally put the book aside and laid his head down on his pillow. Remus flicked off the lights and shut the door, and finally let out a breath.

He made his way back out to the living room, put the remaining pizza in the fridge, and then collapsed on the couch.

“Children are exhausting,” he said to no one.

By the time the kid’s parents got back Remus was ready to go home and sleep for a week and a half. But that was a feeling that faded as soon as Mr. Ekans walked through the door and opened his mouth.

“How was she?” he asked, putting the car keys on a hook by the wall. “She didn’t give you too much trouble, did she?”

Remus had to fight to keep from grinding his teeth. “Fine,” he said, keeping his voice as pleasant as he could. “The flyer said I should come back Saturday next, right?”

“Yes,” Mrs. Ekans said, pulling out her wallet and thumbing out the sixty dollars in cash. She handed it over, and Remus took it. “I’m glad things went well. Janice has been known to drive away a few sitters in the past.”

I can’t imagine why.

Remus got out of the house as quickly as he could. He had some thinking to do, and he wasn’t going to do it in front of a couple of transphobic pieces of shit.

…

By the time Saturday arrived Remus had a battle plan. Roman had been amused when Remus had described the first night as “frustrating,” but had been surprised when Remus had been determined to go back. Remus left out most of the details that weren’t his to share, though he imagined Roman must have figured something was up when he spent most of the week researching boy names and hairstyles.

When he got to the Ekans house next time, the kid looked surprised to see him, and Remus couldn’t say he blamed him. He tried to smile and nod whenever possible, as hopefully it would get the kid’s parents out the door faster. The second they left Remus took off the backpack he’d brought and moved over to sit on the couch. “Hey, kid, c’mere.”

“No. Why?”

“I’ve got something for ya. I promised you a surprise if you went to bed, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, but I turned the lamp on again as soon as you left the room.”

Remus sighed. “Of course you did. Come here anyway.”

The kid looked curious, and given that it was one of the few times he hadn’t been glaring at him, Remus would take it as a good sign.

“So I did some research these past couple days,” Remus said, starting with the notebook. “And I found some names you might like.”

“Wait, what?” the kid sat on the couch and took the notebook from him. “What do you mean you looked at names for me?”

“Well, you said you didn’t know what you wanted your name to be. I don’t really want to call you ‘kid’ forever. If you don’t like any of these we can keep looking, though.”

The kid turned and stared at him. “But I was mean to you.”

“You’re the kid I’m babysitting,” Remus said, smirking at him. “I think I can take it. Besides, what does that have to do with your name?”

“Why are you being nice to me if I was mean to you?”

“Being nice and basic human decency are two different things. You can be the snottiest kid in the world, that doesn’t mean I’m going to start treating you like a girl.”

The kid’s eyes widened. “Really?”

“Really. You say you’re a boy, I believe you, and I’ll treat you as such, okay?”

To Remus’ surprise, the kid’s eyes welled up with tears.

“Oh shit, don’t cry. Hang on—”

The kid threw himself at Remus’ and buried his head in his side. Remus awkwardly patted him on the back and waited until the kid stopped crying, after which he pulled back and wiped at his eyes, still sniffling. “Mommy always says I shouldn’t make people indulge me,” he whispered.

“I’m not indulging anything,” Remus said. “This is what you said you want, and it should be respected. If you change your mind later, that’s fine too. But even if you do, I’m not going to treat you in any way that makes you miserable in the meantime.”

The kid sniffed again and wiped at his eyes. He looked like he didn’t know what to say, which was fair.

After a moment, he picked up the notebook and started looking at the names, sometimes pointing at one he didn’t know and asking Remus to read it. He stopped at one on page three.

“You just wrote Janice,” he said. “I thought you said I didn’t have to use that name.”

“J-a-n-u-s is a masculine spelling,” Remus said. “I just figured if you liked the way your name sounded but didn’t like that it was associated with being a girl, that was an option.”

The kid looked at it for a while longer. “You could use this one around my parents,” he said.

“Technically, yes,” Remus said.

The kid turned and looked at him. “Where does Janus come from?”

“It’s the name of a Roman god,” Remus said. “He’s the god of doors, gates, and beginnings. He has two faces.”

The kid started to grin. “I could be named after a god?”

“If that’s what you want.”

He started nodding. “I like that. I like that a lot. And it could be like lying to my parents. They’re forcing me to lie to everyone else, but this way I get to lie to them.”

Remus started to smile too. “Yeah? You think that’s the one?”

“Definitely. And besides, if I don’t like later it I can change it again, right?”

“Of course you can.”

Janus beamed at him. “Yeah. That’s the one.”

“Awesome,” Remus said, leaning over and ruffling his hair. “Now, onto the second manner of business.”

“There’s more?”

“Yep.” Remus reached into his bag and pulled out a hairbrush and ponytail holders. “So I’m not going to cut your hair without your parent’s permission or I’d get fired. But I have a couple ways I can deal with your hair as it is right now if you want to.”

Janus nodded quickly, and turned around so Remus could get to his hair more easily, “So we could put it up in a bun so it’s out of your face, or I could move the curls further behind your head so it looks more like a style than just you having longer curly hair.”

“What would a style look like?” Janus asked.

“Alright, give me a sec,” Remus said. He grabbed the bobby pins he’d borrowed from his mother and used them to tuck Janus’ curls further behind his head. He turned Janus around after a moment and brushed some of the curls across his forehead so they looked more like bangs.

“Alright,” he said, sitting back. “Here, check that out.” He pulled out the mirror he brought with him, and handed it to Janus.

His eyes widened as he looked in it. “Woah. You did this with my hair?”

“Mm-hmm,” Remus said. “You like it?”

Janus grinned at him again and nodded. Then his gaze turned curious. “Why are you doing all this?”

“I already told you—”

“No, I mean… Mommy says boys and girls can’t change who they are. She says I’m a girl no matter what I do.”

“Bah,” Remus said, waving the concept away. “Gender is a social construct.”

Janus snorted.

“You laugh, but it’s true. Have you ever heard the term ‘transgender’ before?”

Janus shook his head.

“It’s a term people can use to describe themselves when their gender doesn’t match the one they were born as. Plenty of people describe themselves that way. I’m friends with a couple on the internet.”

Janus looked fascinated, and almost painfully hopeful. “Not just me?”

“Definitely not just you.”

Janus sat back, seeming to take a minute to process that. “Can you show me?” he asked, looking back up at Remus.

And so they spent most of the day on Remus’ phone looking at transgender people and stories and definitions. Remus made sure to steer clear of any discourse or transphobia. Janus had enough to deal with already without having to learn about that on a broad scale yet.

By the time Janus’ parents texted Remus saying they were on their way back, they’d been there for hours.

“Okay,” Remus said, setting the phone aside. “I should probably take your hair down now.”

Janus sighed, even though he seemed to have expected that. “Okay,” he mumbled.

“We can put it back up next time I come, okay?” Remus said.

Janus nodded. “Yeah, we fucking better.”

Remus coughed in surprise. “Wha— where did you learn that word?”

Janus grinned at him. “You’ll never fucking know.”

Remus laughed despite himself. Okay, so maybe this kid wasn’t so terrible.

…

Things went smoother for the last two times Remus had signed up to babysit him. Janus had so obviously needed some kind of positive role model, because the second Remus reassured him that he believed him and would treat him as a boy, Janus got loads easier to handle. At the end of the third time Remus babysat for him, Janus looking at him very seriously and told him that he was clearly one of those rare smart adults.

“Well, technically I’m a teenager,” Remus admitted.

Janus nodded. “Oh. That explains it.”

Remus blinked at him. Well, this kid was definitely going to turn into even more of a nightmare as he got older.

Roman seemed more than a little surprised that Remus hit it off with the kid so well, and when Remus eventually mentioned it to Virgil, he got the same result. But Remus would just shrug and say something generic along the lines of “We just clicked, I guess.”

He found himself actually looking forward to the last time he was supposed to babysit, which unfortunately came with a realization that this would be the last time he babysat for Janus. The time passed much too quickly, and Remus, at the end of the night, was not looking forward to leaving.

So for once, an interaction from Janus’ parents brought a positive consequence.

“You just make Janice so happy,” Mrs. Ekans said. “And that’s not really something that happens with her very often.”

I can’t imagine why.

“I know this wasn’t supposed to be a long term thing, but if you would be willing to become her regular babysitter, we’ll pay you eighty a night instead of sixty.”

Well, Remus probably would have agreed even without the pay raise, especially after he noticed Janus watching hopefully from the hallway, but the extra twenty a night didn’t hurt either. In the end, after what was basically the opposite of a long and hard decision, Remus agreed, and was now going to spend his Saturdays (and many week nights) watching a kid that he was quickly growing to care for.

Janus plopped himself down on the couch next to Remus a second after he showed up next time, with his lip wobbling and sniffling in a way that immediately made Remus nervous.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked.

“Do you only like me because my parents pay you?” Janus asked.

“What? Of course not, I love hanging out with you,” Remus said, relieved he was actually telling the truth.

Janus brightened immediately. “Cool! So if we’re actually friends does that mean you can take me out for ice cream?”

Remus blinked at him for a couple seconds, trying to figure out how in the hell he just got played by an eight year old. Regardless, they ended up at an ice cream parlor that day.

There came times Virgil had to watch his little brothers too, and Virgil must have told them about Janus, because one day Virgil texted him asking if they could maybe set up a playdate with the little girl he babysat. Remus winced, but said he’d bring it up next time he was there.

“Their names are Patton and Logan,” he said to Janus, who was looking up at him over the the drawing he was making. He’d become insistent on drawing better than Remus ever since he’d shown him one of his pieces. “They’re Virgil’s little brothers. They want to meet you.”

Janus bit his lip. “Do I have to pretend to be a girl around them?”

“Kid, that is entirely up to you,” Remus said. “I haven’t told them yet because you haven’t given me permission. I can tell you they won’t mind, if you’re worried about that.”

Janus gave that a moment of thought. “Okay. You can tell them I’m a boy. If you’re really sure they won’t mind.”

“I’m sure.”

Janus nodded. “Okay. Can they not come here though?”

“I don’t think we picked a place to go yet. But we could go to a park, or possibly Virgil's house. We’d have to run it by everyone’s parents.”

“Ugh. Well that’s not gonna work out then,” Janus said, turning back to his drawing. “My parents never want me to do anything that makes me happy.”

Remus felt his heart crack at that. He didn’t know how to explain to the kid the difference between his parents being transphobic and his parents never wanting him to be happy. He supposed the end result was the same either way. But Remus couldn’t imagine them having an issue with Janus meeting some other kids. He was apparently pretty lonely.

“Give it a chance,” he said eventually. “They could surprise you.”

Janus gave him a look of such doubt that Remus considered, not for the first time, murdering Janus’ parents and hiding their transphobic asses out in the shed.

Luckily, Remus was at least right in Janus’ parents wanting him to meet new kids. And he was of course also right about none of his friends having a problem with Janus being trans, although they seemed sad for the kid when they learned what his parents were like. Good. Remus would have lost respect for them if they didn’t.

They ended up meeting over at Virgil’s house, which was good, because Remus had a sneaking suspicion Janus’ parents would not have approved of Patton, and his love for all things pink and/or sparkly. They walked through the front door and saw Virgil and Roman sitting on the couch chatting as Logan was doing a puzzle nearby. Patton was sitting next to him, coloring in a coloring book and wearing a bright pink sparkly dress similar to the one Remus had met Janus in. Janus’ eyes got really big when he saw Patton, and he hid behind Remus’ leg.

“I thought you said Patton was a boy,” he whispered.

“He is,” Remus replied. “Patton likes wearing pink sparkly dresses, but that doesn’t make him any less of a boy.”

Virgil glanced up and waved. “Hey, Remus. Guys, Remus and Janus are here.”

Patton and Logan both glanced up, and then Patton hopped up and ran across the room. “Hi!” he said, sticking out his hand. “I’m Patton! Virgil says you’re eight just like me!”

Janus slowly stepped out from behind Remus’ leg and shook Patton’s hand. “Hi,” he said. “I’m Janus. J-a-n-u-s. It’s the boy spelling. Because I’m a boy.”

Patton grinned at him. “Yeah, Remus told us! I think that’s really cool! Do you want to come color with me?”

It was clear Janus didn’t know quite what to do with that, but he nodded anyway, and Patton took his hand and dragged him over to where he’d been coloring. Remus noted Logan saying hi as he did so, and including a note about how he was ten and too old for a babysitter. Remus walked over to sit on the couch next to Virgil and Roman.

“That went about like I’d expected,” he said, nodding at Patton.

Virgil snorted. “Yeah, pretty much,” he agreed, leaning back and ending up partly against Roman. Remus would have to tease him about how bright red his face got later.

Overall, the afternoon was a success. Janus and Patton got along very well, and they made a deal that next time, Janus would bring a sparkly dress and trade it for some of Patton’s more boyish clothes. Janus talked the whole drive home about how much he liked Patton.

“Even though he could be a little less bouncy,” Janus said. “He’s kind of a lot.”

“I get that,” Remus said. “Patton is a really excitable kid. He’ll mellow out the longer you know him.”

Janus nodded. “Good,” he said, and Remus laughed.

Just like Remus had expected, Janus’ parents were glad to see him happy from hanging out with other kids. Which unfortunately also meant they likely had no idea what had actually been happening at the playdate. It was definitely worth it, though. Janus gave Remus a hug, a beaming smile, and said he would see him on Saturday, before running off to his room still smiling.

Remus texted Virgil that they would have to do so again sometime soon.

…

Remus arrived on time Saturday, but Mr. and Mrs. Ekans were already rushing out the door, barely having time to hand Remus money for dinner, and saying something about getting something to cheer Janus up before they ran out their car and drove off.

Remus blinked as he watched them drive off, before processing the fact that they’d said something about cheering Janus up. He headed inside, looking around and hoping to find him.

“Janus?” he called, but no one responded. He started looking around the living room and found no one, there wasn’t anyone in the kitchen, not even the cabinets, and Remus checked in all their usual hide and seek places, but didn’t find anything.

“Janus?” he called, sticking his head into his room. There still wasn’t anyone obviously in there, but just as Remus was about to leave he heard sniffing that sounded like it was coming from under the bed.

He shut the door quietly behind him and pulled up the blankets, and there was Janus, curled into a ball.

“Kiddo?” he asked quietly.

“Adults are stupid,” Janus said. “They don’t understand anything.”

“As a seventeen year old I wholeheartedly agree,” Remus said, trying to get a chuckle or a smile, but not succeeding. “Are we talking about something specific?”

“They just don’t understand,” Janus said, tucking his head into his knees. “No matter how many times I explain it to them they don’t get it. I don’t want to be a girl, Remus. I mean, am I just explaining it wrong? If I explain it enough times they have to understand, right?” He sniffed. “I just have to explain it a few more times, right?”

“Oh, kiddo,” Remus murmured, reaching a hand under the bed. Janus grabbed it and let Remus help him out before burying his head in his chest.

“I thought they were supposed to love me,” Janus whispered. “Isn’t that what parents are supposed to do?”

“They do love you,” Remus tried to reassure, because he’d seen some proof of that. He’d seen the way they smiled when they saw Janus happy. They’d thanked him so many times, saying they were unsure of how he did it.

“No. They love J-a-n-i-c-e. They love the little girl they think they have. But that’s not who I am.” Janus looked up at him, tears pouring down his face. “Remus, why do they hate who I am?”

Remus didn’t have any good reply to that. He just gently pulled Janus back to his chest and rubbed his back. He wasn’t surprised when that just made Janus cry harder, but he didn’t know what else to do.

Janus pulled back and looked up at him after a second. “Remus?”

“Yeah?”

“Would you still like me if I was a girl?”

Remus had no idea what that question entailed. He nodded.

“And you like me even though I’m not?”

“Of course I do.”

“What if—” Janus sniffed. “What if I end up liking boys too or something? That would be even harder to explain.”

“I like boys,” Remus said instantly.

Janus sniffed again. “You do?”

Remus nodded. “Kid, you know what my mom said when I asked her about this stuff?”

“What?”

“She said love should never be conditional.”

“What does conditional mean?”

“It means, Janus,” Remus said, shifting so Janus could sit more comfortably on his lap. “That you could be trans, cis, gay, straight, a weird half snake man who wears a really stupid hat—”

Janus finally laughed a little at that.

“And if you ask me that question, the answer will always be ‘I love you,’ over and over.”

Janus blinked a couple times. “You mean you like me?”

“Nope. I mean I love you, kid. No matter what.”

Janus’ eyes got big, and tears welled up in them again. “Over and over?”

“Over and over,” Remus agreed.

Janus sniffed again, and leaned his head into Remus’ chest again. Remus wrapped his arms around him. “I am so sorry your parents can’t see what an amazing kid you are just as you are,” he murmured.

“Yeah,” Janus said. “They just don’t understand. They’re stupid adults. Adults don’t understand anything.”

Remus held Janus tighter. “Yeah,” he agreed. “Adults don’t understand anything.”

…

Over the next couple months, Janus and Patton ended up trading half their wardrobe. Janus often had a monster truck or dinosaur shirt on within ten minutes of Remus coming over, though he would admit to Remus that those weren’t really his favorite. He said he liked the one with the cartoon snake on it. Remus spent the day going over shirts with more realistic snakes on them that Janus liked. In the end they purchased a couple that Remus said he would keep at his house for days that Janus came over there.

They also spent quite a few days at the park with Patton and Logan, sometimes with Virgil, sometimes with Virgil’s mom or dad. They felt bad about Janus’ situation too, and Remus could tell they wished they could be doing more. But Janus wasn’t being abused or neglected, and transphobic parents weren’t a legal reason that someone could be removed from a home. Remus was really doing about all he could for him. At least it seemed to be making Janus happier than he was. Sometimes, Janus told Remus everything he would do once he was too old for his parents to stop him. Fifteen, he said. When he was fifteen he would get a haircut. And Remus would come, right?

Remus would consider for a moment that he’d probably be in college at that point, but he couldn’t imagine leaving this kid to deal with his parents alone, no matter how old they both got, so the conversation always ended with Remus promising that he’d be there when Janus got his first real haircut at fifteen.

There were, of course, things to teach Janus about how to rebel against all of society, though the kid already had an excellent head start with all the philosophy he knew. Remus took him spray painting one time, and Janus sprayed all of curse words he knew on the wall. Remus couldn’t be prouder. They’d shoplifted together a couple times too. Remus made sure Janus understood that you couldn’t shoplift from a small business that would actually get hurt by it. Only big chains like Walmart. And no stealing in a way that would hurt the employees. Janus seemed to accept all of this easily. “It’s about eating the rich,” he said, nodding firmly. “Not hurting people who are already struggling.”

“You’ve got it,” Remus said with a proud smile.

But one of his favorite parts of being with Janus, after he spent one time at the park with Roman and Virgil, was how easily the kid picked up on how in love the two were.

“We have to do something about it,” Janus insisted. “They’re wasting time! They don’t have mean parents to worry about, why are they wasting time being scared?”

“I ask them that question all the damn time,” Remus said with a smirk.

“Okay,” Janus said, biting his lip as he started thinking. “We’re gonna come up with a plan.”

“Oh, are we? What are we doing?”

“I don’t know yet. Come help me.”

They spent the rest of that afternoon coming up with their plan, and planned to enact it that Saturday. They ended up at the ice cream parlor along with Patton and Logan, who were also in on the plan. Janus was there with Roman and Remus, and Patton and Logan were there with Virgil. The two in question were not aware that the other group was there. So, after a couple minutes, Janus loudly remarked to Roman that Patton was there, and could they go say hi.

“You know,” Janus said before Roman could reply. “I’m going to marry Patton one day.”

Roman smiled, his heart no doubt melting in the same way that Remus’ had when Janus had first told him this. “Are you?” Roman asked, taking a bite of his ice cream.

Janus nodded. “And he can wear a wedding dress, because he likes wearing dresses, and I can wear the tuxedo because I don’t like dresses, and you and Virgil can be the best men because it would be cool to have another married couple as the best men.”

Roman started coughing, and Remus patted him casually on the back as he struggled to stop turning bright red. “What— Virgil and I aren’t married!” Roman exclaimed.

Janus gasped. “What? Why not? When are you going to propose?”

“I— Janus, we’re not dating,” Roman said, turning more into a tomato by the second.

“What?” Janus said, sounding for all the life of him like he was heartbroken. “You have to ask him out then!”

“Janus—”

“Roman, it could mess up Patton and I’s whole wedding! You’re gonna mess up our wedding?” His lip wobbled in a way Remus could tell was fake three months ago, but Roman was clearly not there yet.

“I— look, kiddo, I do like Virgil, but—”

“Then go on! Time’s ticking, you have to get married before Patton and I do!” Janus called, jumping up and pulling Roman up out of his chair. “Go on, go on, go on!”

Roman was left with not much of a choice at that point, and he headed over towards the booth across the parlor, where an equally red-faced Virgil had appeared to have been having a similar conversation. Remus and Janus both followed him over. There was no way they were missing this.

Virgil stood up quickly when Roman got there, and they both started stammering something that was barely coherent, but in the end, Roman managed to get out something about dinner on Friday, and Virgil managed to nod.

All of the kids, and Remus cause what the hell, started to cheer.

“Look at that, we finally got your heads out of your asses!” Remus called, slapping Roman on the back, who smacked him on the arm right back.

“You all planned this, didn’t you?” Virgil asked, looking too embarrassed to be angry, though Remus had no doubt that would come later.

“Maybe,” Remus said, sliding into the booth after Janus, who was now sitting next to Patton.

“We correctly deduced you would never do anything yourselves,” Logan said with a smile from Patton's other side.

“Janus and I are still getting married one day though,” Patton said, completely seriously.

“Yes,” Janus said, nodding along. “And you two will be our best men.”

“Okay, slow down,” Roman said. “That’s taking things a little fast.”

“I think they figured they’d make up for all the time you two wasted,” Remus said with a grin.

“I’m going to kill you later,” Roman said.

“No, please, think of my children,” Remus said.

“What children?”

“Me!” Janus exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air. Remus laughed and pulled him to his side, giving him a noogie.

As the conversation started to head back into a normal direction, Janus nudged Remus in the side. Remus glanced over.

“Sorry I made the children joke,” Janus said quietly.

“Oh, don’t be sorry. It’s true is what it is,” Remus said, ruffling his hair again. “I have adopted you. You can never get rid of me.”

Janus started smiling. “Promise?”

“Promise,” Remus said. “You know why?”

“‘Cause you love me over and over?”

“Because I love you over and over,” Remus said, giving Janus a quick side hug. “You nailed it, my little man.”

“Little man,” Janus said quietly, though he was still smiling really big, and Remus smiled back. “Little man. Yeah.”

#sanders sides #remus sanders #janus sanders #trans janus #transphobia #misgendering #tw misgendering #deadnaming #tw deadnaming #babysitting

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my-headcanons-academia · 3 years

Text

Inko chews out Endeavour

Characters: Inko Midoriya, Izuku Midoriya, Shouto Todoroki, Endeavour

Genre: Angst, a little bit of fluff and catharsis

TW: Mentions of child abuse, abusive home life, mental drain

Word Count:3 K

A/N: This may be a teensy bit long :3

•Okay listen

•Midoriya is god damn horrified when he hears what Endeavour did/does to his kids. He had obviously guessed that the second-best hero there is who is training his family to also become heroes would have some extensive regime but what Shouto explained wasn't "training" it was just abuse.

•He immediately offers Shouto and his sibling's a place with him and his mum without a moment's hesitation. They're not as rich as the Todoroki's or live in as big a house with as good food, but they're happy. •And when Shouto declines, Izuku isn't really sure what to do.

• it's not his place to tell any media or higher authorities, it'd drastically change the lives of Shouto and his siblings and would affect all of them the rest of their lives. He feels like he can't do much and a part of him feels like doing nothing means he's condoning the abuse that still happens in that home like the emotional neglect and things Shouto may not have mentioned. But he can't do anything about that right now, simply because Shouto won't let him. And while Izuku is fighting every instinct he has which is to take the Todoroki siblings out of there and into a therapist's office, it's not his place to do that.

•So instead, he does what he can for them, like offer to go places more so they're out of the house. Offer free anonymous therapy sites. Have their own improv therapy whenever needed. Promise to be there for whoever trusts him and for those who it may take longer to trust him.

•But with all his good intentions, he starts to bite off more than he can chew. Even when it's not in the midst of midnight therapy or distracting days out, it's constantly nagging at the back of his mind that he wants to do more and he isn't doing everything he can. He doesn't want to "fail" at being a good friend, since he hasn't had many experiences to base off (or any for that matter) but he is running out of emotional room.

•Contrary to the Todoroki household, Inko Midoriya actually notices when her child is going through some rough times and tries to do her best to help.

•I imagine Inko and Midoriya have a close relationship. With no other reliable parent figure in the house, they spent a lot of time together. Not only are they parent and child, but they are also friends who enjoy each others company. Inko may not always understand his fascination with All Might but she'll always ask questions and prompt him to go on about the differences in All Might's costumes and moves, even if she knows all the answers already in the same way Izuku may not understand why she enjoys sewing so much ever since she made him his hero costume but will not hesitate to help her go shopping for and carry new fabrics as she talks about the colours and texture helping boost peoples confidence. (She wants to get better at sewing so she can make a new costume for him that's better than ever before.) •And because Inko and Izuku were rather close, she knew his tells. she'd learnt well from their daily game nights to know when he lying and when he was hiding things. But that was during games. This was far more strenuous. But before she rushed in and crowded him, Inko thought that if there were really something he didn't want her to know, then she shouldn't know. So long as it doesn't hurt him. So, respecting the fact he is now a teenage boy and not a child anymore, she knew he was smart enough to make his own decisions.

•But also being herself, she still wanted to help, even if she didn't know exactly what was going on.

•At first, she thought Izuku wasn't sleeping enough because of the stress of UA so she'd plan days to the seaside or mini-holiday or they could try to make a new dessert or do a movie marathons to distract him from it. And she always took note of how very time she offered, he'd always insist some way or another that the Todoroki's join them which of course she had no quarrels with, she was delighted he loved spending so much time with his friends!

•When that didn't help she offered to get him a tutor, maybe he was anxious about his studies? She didn't trust her own education enough to tutor him as he was always impressing her with fun trivia and general knowledge but she'd taken a break in her sewing hobby to save up some money to be able to pay for a tutor.

•But when he began not eating as much, mind always preoccupied with something else than his usual hero ideology and theories, the day of the annual parent-teacher meeting and Izuku hadn't uttered a word since he got home, she sat him down on the couch, held his hands, his scarred and trembling hands, and she asked him. "Are you alright?"

•She's asked this many times before, every time he came home from school, every time she found him up in the middle of the night shakily drinking some water while staring at his phone as if expecting some death from the family. But this time? •This time her words echo in Izuku's head, getting louder and louder with each reverberation, picking up speed and other voices with every hit to his mind, the sound of text messages, quiet telephone calls, rushed breathing, stifled words, hearing footsteps from the other line, the need to help all drowning him in a cacophony of utter helplessness. •And he crumples against his mother, clawing onto her shirt like a life-jacket barely keeping him afloat above the ocean of noise only he is in and he cries. The tears stain Inko's cardigan and she wraps her arms around him, pulling him onto her lap like she used to when he was a child, she holds her son, her baby boy, as his tears dampen her clothes and his voice breaks choking on sobs.

•It was a long day.

•Izuku and Shouto had talked before about telling Inko or an adult or just anyone but there was always some reason, some excuse why it couldn't happen yet. It would be a decision all the siblings would have to agree to as it affects all their lives. Fuyumi was always hesitant, so cautious and making sure if anything were to happen nothing could be left to chance and all outcomes had to be planned. Natsuo wanted whatever would help everyone the most, and if no one was ready to do anything right now, then he'd wait. Shouto thought long ago that if what his father did to his family ever came to light, it would be brought up for the rest of his hero career and he'd never be able to truly escape his dad's hold if it always followed him like that. And until he met Midoriya, that's what he thought for years.

•Shouto was warming up to the idea of saying what happened to him specifically to someone. To see what would happen.

•And that is what Izuku could let slip. The things Shouto had told him at the sports festival, the reason for his scar, his spiteful technique and motivation to be a hero. •It was a long day. •The moment all was said and done, that he had run out of tears to cry, that he had ruined his mother's cardigan by stretching it with his grip and made it soggy with his sobs, that he could breathe without a hiccup or tremor interrupting him, he was completely drained. There was a mix of hollowness after spending so long building it all up, unsure every step of the way whether he's doing the right thing or not and the relief of finally letting there be room for him to breathe.

•But in his hollow chest was a stab of guilt, anxiety, crawling back up his throat and blocking his lungs like a thick mucus of worry. Had he done the wrong thing? It wasn't his place to say- He should have talked with Shouto more about this- Was he wrong to have done nothing so far?- Oh god he's done nothing right- this could hurt them-

• "Shhh," Inko gently held the back of his head and rubbed small circles with her thumb into the back of his neck, like she used to to do calm him down as a child, it still worked "It's-..." Inko collected her thoughts. It was certainly a lot to process, she had her suspicions but she thought she was being paranoid. She'll learn to trust her gut more. "It's not alright right now, but one day it will be. For you and for them."

•And that worry in his chest turned to blunt guilt, he shouldn't be the one crying while Shouto and his siblings have withstood literal torture all their lives, he should be stronger, he needs to be stronger to help them-

•"You are children. And none of you should have to deal with this. I know you're growing up faster than I can blink and you're being a hero more and more every day, but that doesn't mean you were prepared for this exact situation. They train you to fight villains and criminals and how to save those in immediate peril who want saving. Not thins like this." Inko continued to speak softly, pulling Izuku closer and soothing the back of his neck "Thank you for telling me and I can understand why you wouldn't want me to meddle as it may be out of my depth, but, two people helping them is better than one."

• Midoriya told Shouto what had happened and apologised for spilling too early, apologised for not doing enough, apologised for being less than open about the emotional and mental space he had to spare, promising to be more aware of it so long as Shouto continues to trust him and talk when needed. Shouto was confused as to why Midoriya was apologising so much as always and despite the apprehension in his movements, Shouto had spent enough time with Inko to trust her. And also to know that while Inko is kind, that isn't all she is.

•Shouto had seen her repay the kindness people had shown her tenfold with gifts, acts of service, compliments, reassurance and more. And something about that deep-rooted kindness tipped him off to the idea that if someone were to take advantage of her kindness or her son, that injustice too shall be repaid. And, as slow as it was and as long as it took, he knew she considers him her son too.

• Overall, the parent-teacher meeting was going well for most students. Most students were in their more casual clothes except those who had been too lazy to change out of their school uniform for the day albeit having their shirts scandalously untucked and top buttons undone (Except for Bakugo who in the presence of his mother for the first time had his tie actually tied, truly it was a sight to behold and blackmail photos to be used for months.)

• Amidst all the parents gathering together while waiting for the respective teachers to be free of their current appointments, there he was. Enji Todoroki, Endeavour in his hero costume supposedly fresh from the job. • And thus, politely fuelled by karmic fury the 5'2 force of nature marched up with a smile to the flaming rotting piece of shit excuse she can barely call a human being and greeted him.

• "Oh, hello Enji." Inko smiles. Izuku stands back with Shouto on the sidelines, watching the encounter unfold. • First of all, the informality caught him off guard. Usually, he'd be used to fans being "Overly-friendly" but something about the smile in her voice didn't sit right with the way fans usually say it. This turned a few heads.

• "And..who are you?"

• "Why I am so glad you asked, my name is Inko Midoriya, the woman whose house your son goes to every day but I suppose you wouldn't know that since as long as he's keeping up his work then there is nothing else to do with him at all," she coughed ", like parenting," and continued "Speaking of being in public I could never be as confident as you are to go to a casual event in a full-on hero costume but I suppose if it helps boost your ego then go for it! Although, speaking from the perspective of a concerned parent, aren't all of those flames a safety hazard! what if you were near a flammable thing like, oh I don't know, civilians clothes in a place you know where said civilians are tightly packed together, or there could be someone well-known to have a flammable quirk nearby or just a building's structure being, on the whole, a rather flammable thing?" Her head turned to the overgrown vermin who lead the school who had entered the room upon hearing there was a commotion "Not that I doubt UA's defence measures and predicted disastrous occurrences as no such thing has ever failed in the past. It's just the safety of children and the future generation of heroes after all." and just as quickly turned back to Endeavour

•"You know I noticed there are plenty of other pro-heroes here who are just fine in their everyday clothing because they recognise this get together is about their children's achievements and not their own. Why, if I didn't know any better I'd say you really are that insecure in your title slipping because that's what being a hero is all about, the title, that you'd distract entire families from the point of being here just to pay attention to you because it's not like being the second supposedly best hero there is credits you any attention."

• Enji barely had time to stop the flames protruding from his hero suit from dying out as peoples heads turned to pay attention. By now every student had pulled out their phone to record the situation.

•Nedzu was on his way over, laughing awkwardly ready to diffuse the situation but had miraculously been needed for a sudden important event in the teacher's lounge and was immediately escorted by Aizawa and Present Mic.

•"Oh and may I go on and say you truly are an inspirational story of how being raised as a gifted child must have been really difficult for you. Always a commodity, never a human being, not a single person in your life thinking you’re worth a damn without your quirk so you made it your entire personality until you developed your own actual personality because of course you, the Number Two hero would outgrow such a childish nature. That sounds rough," she pouted in mock sympathy.

• Endeavour snarled behind gritted teeth, barely stopping himself from acting out of hand at the public slander. "Just who do you think you are-"

•"Like I said, my name is Inko Midoriya, the pleasure is all mine I'm sure, or did you not hear me the first time while that fire was covering your ears? just like how it must have covered your eyes with choosing that outfit to be approachable. Oh do excuse me if that seemed rude, I'm a seamstress as a hobby you see so I tend to have an eye for when things are just wrong in every way. Honestly, if you didn't parade your title everywhere you go I'd mistake you for a villain on sight. You see, I'm only a seamstress and not a hero like you as you love to flaunt no matter the situation or need for it, but it must be so rewarding to save all those people every day and return to a home with your loving children and children who want to do the exact same thing and be exactly like you because you must be such good role-model and parent to have accomplished so much in your career and of course spent enough time on each of your children to help them grow to be happy, full of inspiration and their own dreams to fulfil. Oh, and of course your wife who must be so proud of the person you've become!"

• By this point the flames had been sputtering at random, a rare purple and even blue flamer erupting once and again as this woman continued talking and the parents out the corner of his eye who thought they were out of his sight nod their head and faces contort into realising the full weight of the truth they already knew but now understand.

• But Inko was nowhere near close to done, Endeavour could hear as much when she took a small break to smile and take a bigger breath to continue. • And blinded by the public's disapproval of everything he had convinced he had Done for the good of the civilians, he could feel the ground, just like his title, being pulled from under him as quicker heroes hit the back of his knees as Inko swung her handbag with the metal buckle across Endeavours face while she was being pulled safety away from the punch Enji hadn't realised fast enough he had thrown.

• The videos uploaded by students went viral in seconds

•"shocked" by the number two hero's emotional outburst with malicious intent to harm an unarmed civilian, Inko let it be known she found it unsuitable that he go back home to his children and instead of that they live with her and make a record with either police or a licensed therapist to make a note of any other emotional outbursts or strange and potentially dangerous behaviour in complete confidentiality.

#wow #a good parent?#in this economy?#bnha #mha #mha hc #bnha hc #endeavor #inko midoriya #izuku midoriya #tododeku #shouto todoroki #enji todoroki #bnha headcanons #mha headcanons #Shouto x therapy #Inko x catharsis #INKO POPPING OFF

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