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wizkiddx · 3 years

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3 hearts broken

I did an angst thing again oops also not proof read double oops

summary: an argument between you and tom, except it takes him hurting someone else for you to loose it

warnings: alot of swearing (im British sorry not sorry) idk anything else except commitment issues?

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It was an argument you and your boyfriend regularly had. In fact, it was the only argument the two of you ever had. And especially recently, one that Tom seemed to want to have every day. It didn’t matter where you were on set; in the rental home; out for dinner. Or like now… in the airport lounge.

You were sitting across from each other in a semi-private booth. Tom in his joggers and a burgundy hoodie, you in your black leggings and an oversized tee that actually belonged to your boyfriend. The rest of the place was almost deserted, given the late-night time of the flight. It was probably why Tom felt so comfortable bringing up this touchy subject in a public place.

You were both way past overtired too, owing to the end of a gruelling shoot. All you wanted was to get back to London and get into your own bed. Without an unnecessary fight with Tom.

Unfortunately for you, when you had naively said those exact words, Tom’s overtired brain skipped straight to it being a personal attack.

“I don’t see why you can’t commit to moving in Y/n! We practically live together for filming anyway so-“

“I love you Tom, more than I could ever express. I just… I can’t do this yet. I need… more-“

“More time, I know.” He grumbled, already standing and slinging his duffel bag over his shoulder - as the flight’s gate was announced by the intercom. Had he not already turned his back and started heading along the hallway, you would’ve tried to protest and calm him down. But thanks to his urgency to get away from you… all you could do was sigh. Slumping back against the seat before hauling yourself up and grabbing the bags - that he had helped you with on the way in.

No doubt this would be a long flight.

That it was. Tom had been maturely giving you the silent treatment at the gate, as you were boarding, and finding you seats. You were both in first class, so you had adjacent little pods with a little partition in the middle. It’s standard position was to be lowered however, before you’d even been able to settle into your window seat, Tom had already switched to button to have it slowly slide up.

Real fucking mature.

Thinking he just needed some time to cool off, you rolled your eyes but let him be. Even though you were such a frequent flier, you were terrible at getting any sleep on them. Tom knew this, knew how much you disliked the idea of being hurtling through the air in a tin can. Usually, he’d be holding your hand, entertaining you by watching a movie and providing a shit commentary over the top. Sometimes, when you were both as exhausted as right now, he’d even slide into your chair, having you perch on top of him so you could fall asleep listening to his heartbeat in his chest. Now though? He refused to acknowledge your existence.

Tom never had such issues flying, he was like a switch that could just choose to fall asleep at any and every point. Which is perhaps why it shocked you to see him still wide awake, staring angrily at the corner of his pod when you went to the loo, hours later. Thinking it was time for a peace offering, on the return to your seat you made eye contact and began to smile softly at him. However, that plan lasted for all of two seconds, since as soon as he realised you had seen him staring, Tom instantly shut his eyes - playing asleep.

He really was being particularly stubborn tonight.

By the time the plane landed, he’d still refused to say anything - and it was starting to really piss you off too. You’d tried to be mature, tried to offer the metaphorical olive branch and he had quite literally thrown it back in your face. So by the time you were being escorted off the plane (first because you were first class), you hung back from your boyfriend, wanting to have your own space.

Which was exactly why you didn’t want to give up your own apartment yet!

The two of you walked across the bridge into the terminal with a good 8 metres between each other. Tom didn’t bother to turn round and check on you, taking purposeful steps as though he wanted to get away.

Thankfully the terminal was quiet, probably due to the ungodly hour in the morning you’d landed at. The halls echoed only with your and Toms footsteps, the echo exaggerating just how far away you felt from him at this point. Still, Tom hadn’t acknowledged your existence, or anyone elses for that matter - the pair of you almost got to baggage reclaim before seeing any other humans.

And that is where it all went wrong.

It was typical, an otherwise empty airport except for you, Tom and a family with 2 girls. 2 teenage girls. 2 teen girls whose eyes widened to almost comical levels at the sight of your boyfriend. You’d seen them from a mile away, but from Tom’s reaction to them - he clearly hadn’t.

In fact, you were such a distance away you couldn’t exactly hear the exchange. But what you saw, had your heart in your mouth.

The girls ran over from the seats their whole family were sitting in, squealing at Tom with that overcited little jump you’d seen so often. Instead of Tom turning to them and entertaining them with small talk and a photo or two - he did the opposite. If anything, he quickened his cadence, looked as though he waved the girls off without muttering two words.

And maybe there was a reason. Maybe they had shouted something really rude at him - but fuck, the chances were slim. One looked ten, and one looked a couple of years older - as you approached, you saw the dejected and shocked faces melt into ones of intense disappointment. The eldest turned and hugged the younger, whose chest appeared to be shaking in a way that meant only one thing. Tom had made her cry.

Just as both the mother and father stood up to rush to the girls, you matched their hurried steps - getting their first.

“Hi, excuse me… “

You felt really awkward but knew you had to do something for these poor girls. And quite possibly for Toms career too. “Are you guys okay?” It took a second or two, but the girls clearly both recognised you too (thank god), throwing nervous looks at each other.

“Are yo-you Y/n?” The younger one asked, bright eyes glazed in tears which broke your heart to see.

“Yeh-yeh I am, what are your names?” You knelt, smiling warmly at the girls, who seemed to chirp up a bit.

“I’m Tima” The eldest spoke first before nudging the other to speak. You waited patiently till the little girl had wiped her eyes before replying.

“I’m Azara.”

“Wow, you’ve both got very beautiful names. Where are you both headin-“

“Can I ask you a question!?” Litte Azara burst out, interrupting you, but in the cutest and sweetest way. You just laughed and said of course, as she twiddled with her thumbs nervously.

“How big is the biggest T-rex?” Her little eyes were so curious and you had to suppress a giggle, seeing how serious it was.

Of course, the T-Rexs in Jurassic world (one of your movies) were all CGI. But Azara didn’t have to know that.

“Oh, they are bigger thanthan the tallest trees you’ve ever seen!”

You carried on your little chat with the girls for five or so minutes, laughing with them and exchanging soft nods with their parents too - who seemed appreciative of your time. Eventually, though, it was the dad who pulled time on the exchange, signalling that the girls had taken up enough of your time. As you stood up, Tima spoke up - after being relatively withdrawn from the conversation.

“You’re friends with Tom Holland right?” You nodded, subconsciously biting your lip to see what she would say. “Can you tell him sorry for bothering him, it’s just Azara was excited, we only wanted to say hi.”

Yeh, there was absolutely no way these incredibly sweet girls did anything to Tom. He was just being a knob.

“Hey, it’s not your fault at all. We’ve just had a really, really long flight, and he’s in a bit of a mood at me - I’m so sorry that he let it out on you.”

That explanation seemed to satisfy Tima with a nod, and with some final hugs you bid the girls both farewell. By this point, the rest of your plane had caught up along the corridors, so it was busier, and you had to fight against the small crowd to get through the airport as quickly as possible. Because you were seething with rage for Tom and could not wait to tell him exactly what those poor girls thought of him.

Unsurprisingly Tom had chosen not to wait for you in the airport at all, instead already hiding inside the blacked-out windows of the 4x4 waiting at the collection point. You marched up to that car angry to the point you thought the whole airport would notice. Yanking the door so hard you were surprised you did no damage to it, you threw your bags in - momentarily ignoring the sight of Tom huddled into a corner, staring at his phone with AirPods in.

But once you slammed the door shut and the driver started the car, you let yourself go.

“Who the fuck do you think you are!”

“Y/n can we just leave it for- “

“You made 2 girls cry!!! You were so self-absorbed in your temper tantrum that you made 2 teenage girls cry. You proud of yourself?”

This time he did look at you, eyes wide and confused - clearly not understanding. So you continued - laying it out for him.

“Those two girls you waved off because you were so busy running away from me? Well the youngest one cried and then the eldest didn’t speak and when she did it was only to ask me to apologise to you. You’re a fucking dickhead!”

“I didn’t mean-“

“Oh god, that makes it all better. You didn’t mean to make them cry on purpose, so it’s fine! God if you’d only said I’d-“

“Fuck off Y/n you’re not being fair, cut the sarcasm.”

“I’m not being fair?!? Because I’m the bad person in this situation, right? I just saved you from a very, very bad headline tomorrow morning because you were too busy giving me the silent treatment.”

“Yeah, well, your the one who doesn’t seem to give a damn about me!”

You scoffed hard at his words, air trapped in your throat that now felt completely stuck. How could he say that? How could he even think that?

As much as you hated showing it, you felt your eyes well up with tears. Because who the fuck did he think he was.

“Now that, that is so unfair. You know exactly my history and why I don’t want to move in yet AND you know just how much I fucking love you. So don’t you dare.”

“You're not convincing anyone.” He spoke quieter, but the venom behind his tone was still there. As the first tear escaped over your bottom lashes, you knocked on the partition to the driver and asked him, in no uncertain terms, to pull over.

“Congrats Tom. That’s three women you’ve broken the hearts of in 20 minutes. Must be some sort of a record.”

And with that you slammed the door shut, abandoned on the side of the road somewhere within Heathrow.

?a part 2? idk where id go from here aha

tagging: @lovehollandy12 @hollandlover19 @thefernandasantana @hunnybunimdun @hallecarey1@cedricdiggorysimpp @msmimimerton @hollandfanficlove @pandaxnienke @crossyourpeter @thegirlwiththeimpala

#tom x reader #tom holland fic #tomholland #tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland fluff #tom holland angst #famous!reader #tom holland x famous!reader #tom holland x actress!reader

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mallowstep · 2 years

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k i'm deleting the actual comment but let's look at this (from itcos):

Okay- so if you find bramble/squirrel wrong than wouldn't that have made fern/dust wrong? And fire/sand? Because before Dustpelt and Fern got together as warriors Dustpelt clearly liked Ferncloud. Fireheart liked Sandstorm when she was an apprentice. Also I should mention cloud/bright because when Cloudtail became a warrior brightheart was still an apprentice. (Yes I do know that brightpaw should have been made a warrior moons ago in that book). Also leaf/moth? Because at this point it's cannon. Leafpool was an apprentice when mothwing probably took a liking in her. Crow/feather? Feathertail was a warrior and Crowpaw was an apprentice. Feathertail was born in Forest of secrets and Crowpaw was born in the middle of darkest hour and midnight. Also im pretty sure that Squirrelfight was 8-9 moons old when that book was taking place.

i am allowing myself this much to say about ferndust: fireheart makes one comment about it, jfc. (i'm not responding to ANY other discussions of ferndust.)

sandstorm is literally older than fireheart

squirrel&bramble arguably get together when squirrel is still an apprentice. not really, but it's way too close to comfort, and way closer than both previous examples.

ONCE AGAIN, BRIGHTHEART IS OLDER THAN HIM

like way to demonstrate ZERO critical thinking. the problem is pretty fucking obviously the way bramble is ACTIVELY trying to get with an APPRENTICE who's MUCH YOUNGER than him and doing it in a SUPER MANIPULATIVE way while also being a DICK to her.

leafmoth is regrettably not canon. also, wait, this is pissing me off. LEAFPAW expresses interesting in mothwing, and she literally feels like mothwing doesn't reciprocate. there's a huge amount of angst about how leafpaw is just an apprentice and mothwing doesn't care about her. jsfdlkjs;afkjl;.dasfj dl;kjfdsljk;.dsalfkj;dslk;sfdj. i can't believe this shit. between "there's no mothpool age gap" (there definitely is, it's fucking huge?) and now this i'm so done. i need to write some mothpool god fucking damn. my mothpool is excellent please ignore all mothpool i've written before now because none of it is very true to how i think abt them or how i want to write them. i mean the mothpool i'm working on now is a deliberate inversion (even if i'm getting REALLY into passerine...yes mothwing be so gay that leafpool brushing her tail against you keeps you up at night.) look i'm saying everyone fucking sucks about mothpool jfc.

actually yeah there IS a large age gap with feathercrow and i'm still pissed because someone called it fucking. nope. i'm not even going to repeat it because that's how angry i was about it. but. deep breath, matthew. keep it together. anyway, crowpaw's age is completely incoherent, there's no logical way for him to be BOTH deadfoot's son AND still an apprentice. pick or choose. what we do know is that he was very, very nearly a warrior, which means (since the journey took a VERY long time), he was definitely an adult when he got w feathertail. is there a large age gap? yes. do i have a problem with it? no, because feathertail wasn't fucking manipulating a young apprentice jfc. ig you get a point for having a comparison that's actually almost relevant.

NO. NO SHE WAS NOT. i proved this for mothpool age gap purposes but she's CONFIRMED to be a NEW APPRENTICE when she leaves. you. fuck. once again, you are FUCKING LYING to make a point that i jusdfljdaslf;jk

anyway i'm going to go delete the comment now

#mine #itcos #discourse #barely #feel free to rant about how dumb this comment is at me if you want #or don't i'm not your mom #all ferndust comments WILL be deleted however #it is extremely uncomfortable for me #i rarely give more than a single sentence of ferndust commentary #and only at my own discrestion

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spitefulqueenofdemons · 3 years

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https://spitefulqueenofdemons.tumblr.com/post/643713435650113536/sleep-deprived part 2

Pushing Up Daisies chapter 3

Tw: language, murder, guns, cops, mentions of drugs

Word count: 1373

Summary: After having woken up tied to a chunk of concrete under water and doing an unspeakable act (for your survival??) You find yourself out of options and people to help. Well almost, the only one you think might be able to help is the one who got you in this situation in the first place

After a long shower and several hours on the internet searching for anything that could tell you what was going on. Apart from a few hundred movies and books with undead content the most concrete actual zombie anything you could find was mostly about the voodoo dust that people used to put others under control. And back in the 18, and 1900s people accidentally being buried alive.

There was virtually nothing about zombies in Seattle. All you knew for sure was what had happened to you. You confronted Blaine, he grabbed you, shot you, dumped you in a lake and you woke up you dont know how long after underwater with no need to breath.

As you thought and absently read yet another article about 'Haitian Zombies' you rubbed your hand against your wrist that Blaine had grabbed you with. The scratch marks on your arm were as faint as old scars but you could feel them still.

And just like that realization hit. The red eyes made sense. Blaine was a zombie, and that lady who was working the front counter probably was too. It had to be some sort of virus or something that could be transferred through scratch. The teenager in you was thrilled that zombies were real and not mindless corpses that just wandered around destroying everything it came across. Sure when you first emerged from the lake you couldnt control yourself and killed that poor innocent man but you were literally starving.

Perhaps that was the down side. The hunger is enough to blind you from any moral standing. Even more unfortunate, you didnt know how long what brains you did eat earlier would keep you satiated and you didnt have a way to get more without committing more murder. You didnt know anything about the zombieism other than the scratch causes it.

You really only had an one option. Go back to Blaine. He had options. Once you got there he could kill you, or turn you away, or kill you. You had gone in only, according to your microwave, 8 hours ago guns blazing accusing him of being a utopium dealer. How could you expect him to help.

Now you also knew you couldnt go to the police. As an officer you knew they would either freak out or hide it. And by hiding it you knew that would mean hiding you, IE killing you and sweeping it under the rug. They might turn you over to some higher part of the government. The type that does a bunch of invasive and usually very painful experiments and research.

You could just drop it. Leave town and change your name. But then again that brings up the issue of how will you eat? Murder is just too horrible an option for you. Grave robbing coukd be viable but half decomposed chemically drowned brain is almost as bad as the moral stand still of murder.

Deciding on your course of action you breezed to your closet, choosing a simple black hoodie, dark jeans and boots, and a ball cap to hide your snowy hair to wear. You grabbed a glock 19. Not the gun you had when you went to visit Blaine in the first place. That one was gone, probably in Debeers' personal stash now. This time though if he pulled so would you.

Without a vehicle, you assumed it would no longer be parked where you left it in front of MEATchute, you were instead forced to catch a bus to the opposite side of town. The open sign was off but you could see people behind the counter. It looked like they were counting the drawer.

You beat on the glass with an open palm, hard enough for it to make a lot of noise but not hard enough to shatter the glass. The older woman from when you first came was the one to open the door. She looked like she had seen a ghost, but still somehow like she didnt care.

"Cant you read the sign? We are closed. That means you dont have to go home but you sure as shit cant stay here." She half growled.

You rolled your eyes, half willing to punch her in the face if she wanted to get cocky. "Move. Wheres Debeers?" You demanded, eyes flashing past the stumpy woman and to the counter where a large man with dark hair stood sizing you up. "You," you said. You recognized him as one of the names that gave a name that then gave you Debeers. "You work for him. I shouldnt be surprised."

He cocked an eyebrow. "Cissie, let her through." The man said. He looked like a knock off version of Patrick Warburton. "You are supposed to be dead little lady. You got lungs of steal or are you one of us?"

You scoffed, wanting to hit them all. You knew it wasnt a part of the zombieism either. These fuckers were all instrumental in your death. That enough was reason for a slight beating. "I got nothing to say to you Julian. I'm here for Blaine and I'm not leaving till I get to talk to him." You demanded, stomping up to the counter.

The man sighed as if this was one of the last things he wanted to deal with. "Well he isnt here but I'll call him. See if he wants to talk to you. Follow me." He said, gesturing to you.

Not exactly happy, but pleased you were getting what you want, you followed the man behind the counter. He took you further into the building and finally into a room off the kitchen that actually looked like a real office. The large mahogany desk was a mess with files and papers, on top of them all was the stolen file from your apartment. There was a few random art pieces.

"Wait here. Someone will be by soon." He instructed, leaving you in the room alone. Trusting that you wouldnt snoop. Normally you would but this situation was not the time. You needed help, and had already pissed off two of the three people you knew had a hand in that. Snooping through Blaine's real office would be like flipping the bird after you already spit on and slapped someone. Definitely not a good idea on your part.

It took less than 20 minutes before the door opened again and a familiar blond haired blue eyed gangster opened the door. "Ah Detective. What an unpleasant surprise. I didnt know you walked amongst the undead." He said with an air of genuine shock. "When Julian told me I really didnt believe him. You took those bullets like a mortal. What happened?"

You laid out your wrist on the desk, the marks almost completely gone. He crossed to the other side and sat down, moving the little lamp that was sitting at the corner of the table. He shone the lamp over my arm and the little pink marks showed up.

Blaine 'tsk'ed. "Was it me?" He had a fake look of disgust on his face. "It was me wasnt it. Damn it, I knew I shouldnt have blown off my manicure appointment this morning." He shook his head. "Thats why you arent dead. You gotta be starving though. Would you like a snack? Pudding? Crackers and cheese? Brains?" He questioned.

You looked at the mark on your wrist in the light, your jaw clenched a little. "No thanks I already ate, but that is part of what I would like to discus."

At that his eyes widened with actual shock. "Um, you already ate? Did you kill someone or dig up a body?" When I didnt answer he nodded knowingly. "You killed someone. Oh I bet that was a sight. Sorry about the cinderblock by the way. I didnt think you would be waking up. Im sure it wasnt the best alarm."

You scoffed, a little thankful he stopped asking about your food source. "Waking up underwater was definitely a new experience, but then again so far my whole evening has been new experiences." You told him.

"Well, allow me to formally welcome you to the land of Zombies. I'll explain everything."

#fanfic #zombies #zombie #romance #blaine #blaine debeers #blaine x reader #liv moore #olivia moore #peyton charles #ravi chakrabarti #dirty cops #cops #acab

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dinolikes · 4 years

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IMPOSTER - PART ONE

summery ❤︎ nobody has any quirks and are stuck on a ship like among us

pairings ❤︎ imposter!dabi x reader

content warnings ❤︎ major character death

you snuggled deeper into the warm arms around you as the automatic dim lights in your room turned on, meaning to simulate sunlight.

"morning babe," a groggy voice from behind you said, making you turn around almost as if on instinct to smile at the man.

"morning dabi~" you lightly teased, calling him by his codename, resulting in a chuckled that shook his chest, which you were currently resting on.

as he looked up from you he squinted his eyes, "i dont wanna get up, I just wanna stay with you"

you blush but laugh it off, "cmon loverboy, we have our daily tasks to do," you try to raise yourself onto your elbows only to be pushed back down against his chest. you laugh, "touya!"

he smirks at you, "oh so NOW it touya? i thought i was just dabi," he grabs you by the waist a flips you, tickling your sides.

"t-t-touya!" tears had begun to escape your eyes, "ple-please touya! let me go!" you gasped in between laughs, even touya throwing in a few chuckle before stopping, finally letting you breathe.

"you better not scream that too loud or else we'll have to get scolded by that kid again," he sniggered, leaving you lightly chucking too.

you TECHNICALLY werent supposed to know anyone's names, everyone going by code names to protect your identity from imposters, who were basically moles sent by an organization know as the league, lame name you know, but they were pissed with headquarters, they thought they treated us like guinea pigs by sending us out into space all the time.

you and touya of course hadn't listened to any of the rules about relationships or closeness.

but there was others on this ship, 8 others to be exact, half of them were pretty young, just interns straight out of school.

one was the little brother of the intergalactic space traveler ingenium, who was very VERY serious about rule breaking.

one time you had accidently started to call touya well, touya but you had stopped yourself. no one else cared, they already knew of their crewmates relationship, they were just glad you didnt actually slip up. ingeniumu on the other hand was very upset that you had exchange names.

you had to convince dabi to not tell him that it was because it was weird moaning out a codename during sex.

then there was touya's little brother, shoto, who didnt care that by knowing his brothers full name you knew half of his by default, considering he chose his 'codename' to be his literal first name. you didnt quite know how he got away with that but you assumed that due to touya and shoto's dad being a higher up, he could do whatever the hell he wanted.

then of course there was skittish but snappy deku and loud and cocky 'king explosion murder', who literally everyone refuses to call him and just decides on 'kaachan' which is what deku calls him.

overall the newbies werent too bad, you were mostly annoyed by the pro, tomura.

it was actually what caused you and dabi to get so close, the mutual annoyance of that stupid bastard.

once you and dabi got dressed in your crewmate uniform (which was just a jumpsuit that everyone had their own color, dabi being purple and you being pink) you walked into the cafeteria and sat at the table, dabi quickly wrapping his arm around your shoulder.

"hello lovebirds," tomura knowingly cackled, giving you guys, more specifically dabi, a certain look.

dabi rolled his eyes "shove off virgin,"

you hid your laugh behind a cough, and smiled at tomura, "hi to you too,"

you might not LIKE tomura, but he was higher up in levels than you, meaning you have to respect him, something that dabi, who was on his same level, didnt have to.

"kaachan what's a virgin?" deku looks up at his friend, considering he seemed to be the king of insults, he probably knew what all of them were.

"woah kid, maybe talk to your friend about that in private," hawks, another higher up, walked up into the conversation a little too late but smirked.

"shut it bird brain!" kaachan yelled, yes technically hawks was his higher up, yes technically that meant kaachan needed to respect him. you and dabi werent the only ones who broke the technicalities.

hawks just smirked and plopped down next to you, meaning you were squished between your boyfriend and the dude your boyfriend hates.

your boyfriend didnt like a lot of people on the ship.

dabi hates kaachan (too loud), hawks (too cocky), tomura (too gross), deku (too peppy), ingeniumu (too stuck up) and he only semi stands thirteen, dabi could really only like his brother when he first came on, which made it even more surprising that he took a liking to you, enough of a liking to open up and date you.

"morning wonder," wonder was your codename, everyone called you that, even dabi when you werent behind closed doors.

you smiled, "morning hawks!" dabi clenched his jaw and looked away, something that didnt go unnoticed by you.

you leant into his ear, "i cant say goodmorning to you if you kept me up all night," you pulled back to see a smirk playing on his lips.

it was true, you probably only got an hour sleep that night.

he leant in to kiss you, both your helmets not on yet so you could eat, and anticipation filled you.

and of course tomura had to ruin it with his shit eating smile, "stop flirting you two,"

dabi paused and growled a bit, "the fuck did I say before virgin?" it came out less like a question and more like a threat to shut up, probably because it was.

"c'mon, you only have a little while before your baby brother comes, you dont wanna scar him do you~"

"its fine if they kiss, that's what people in relationships do." shoto's stoic voice said as he sat down in between dabi and deku, his usual seat. "plus it's not like I havent seen them in worse positions," you blushed and hid your head in your hands,

"shoto!"

he just shrugged.

everyone was there except thirteen, the seatings the same as always, with you and dabi practically on top of eachother, shoto next to dabi, then deku, kaachan, ingeniumu, tomura, twice, and then hawks, who next to you, completed the circle.

nobody had their helmets on, all waiting for thirteen to walk in with breakfast.

even though you werent supposed to gain connections to anyone on the ship, you all seemed to fall in rhythm with eachother and if even one person was off, you all were.

"thirteen's taking extra long..." deku muttered the rest agreeing,

"i dunno, is it someone's birthday? maybe he wanted to make someone a birthday breakfast," hawks shrugged.

"WE'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO GIVE OUT PERSONAL INFORMATION LIKE BIRTHDAYS!"

"shut up, bird brain was just asking,"

"JUST BECAUSE I NAMED MYSELF AFTER A VERY FEIRCE BIRD DOESNT MEAN YOU HAVE TO CALL ME BIRDBRAIN!"

"it kinda does."

"it's better than dabi! what even is a dabi?"

"you dont have to name yourself after something that already exists hawks," twice spoke up.

"and even so, you didnt have to pick something stupid like hawks, wonder over here did a fantastic job at that," dabi smirked at you as you rolled your eyes, a smile playing on your lips.

"you only say that because your dating her dumbass!"

twice rolled his eyes, "im gonna go check on thirteen, see what the hold up is,"

"oh please you cant talk 'king explosion murder', it sounds like a fucking kid named you, which I guess if you picked your name.." kaachan grew red at what touya was implying and stood up

"IM NOT A KID ILL BEAT YOUR ASS!"

touya too stood up, making your arm that was resting on his shoulder fall off, "oh yeah? I'd like to see you try!"

"kaachan! dont start stuff you cant finish!"

kaachan turned to deku and started yelling at him, where you just laughed and pulled dabi down, once again wrapping your arms around him.

"yeah dabi, dont start stuff you can't finish," you teased.

"oh you KNOW i could finish that," dabi wraps his arms around your waist pulling you closer to him til you were almost on top of him.

"whatever you say loverboy," dabi smirks at you, before turning his attention towards his brother.

"have you heard from dad yet?" shoto's aura around him darkened, and yours had just saddened.

"no."

touya had explained how the great endeavor had treated his children after you had gone on a tangent about how cool it was that touya had THE endeavor as a parent. you didnt think it was so cool after.

while shoto was still angry, and going through the rebellious stage determined to prove his dad wrong and win, touya always seemed like he didnt care, like he already won against endeavor some how.

a frantic twice ran into the room, looking disheveled and frightened, making everyone alert instantly.

"twice what's wr-"

"its th-thirteen! hes- hes DEAD!"

| next. |

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chicago-reeed · 4 years

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Detroit Evolution

These are some notes that I took while I watched DE for the first time. It’s a lot. Like, six pages, a lot. I decided I should probably spare everyone’s dashboards and put it under a cut.

Warning: overuse of the fuck word because I am a dramatic little shit who gets overwhelmed easily

- Alright here we go. I don’t know if I’m mentally prepared to go through this hhhhh

- THE CINEMATOGRAPHY I NUT

- fuck he smellin the flowers good

- “hey tin can :P” “good morning gavin :P”

- I’m actually fucking crying IVE HAD TO PAUSE SO MANY TIMES JUST TO BREATHE AND IM ONLY AT 1:25

- FUCK ITS 1:27 AND HES FIXING HIS COLLAR HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WATCH THIS WHEN MY VISION IS BLURRY WITH TEARS

- “I don’t need to breathe” BAZINGA

- *slaps my face repeatedly* keep it together bitch

- “I like the way you look<3” aaaaaaaaannd here I go again

- HAHAHA HE WAS DAYDREAMING SAME NINES SAME

- oh god oh god witty banter WITTY BANTER I CANT FUNCTION

- C H R I S IM SCREAMING

- detective motha fuckin chris I don’t need to see any more I got what I came for

- Honestly all they need to do to calm down the protestors is get nines out there so he can say “please stop you’re being very mean >:/“ and they would probably just go home ngl

- “I’ve never been intimidated by people who hate androids” OH MY GOD NINES WITH THE BAZINGA’S TODAY WHAT A LEGEND

- can I just say the white jacket is such a power move I can’t believe nines invented fashion

- Gavin bein soft and reaching back for Nines in the crowd🥺homygod

- Gavin “no one calls him plastic but ME” Reed

- The only time I will support police brutality™️

- Gavin is so OP we stan

- Nines “you raise a fist, then I get PISSED😡” RK900

- “y’all have a nice day” Protect Detective Chris Miller at all costs

- Nines sees Gavin’s scars as charming PUT ME TO DEATH

- ADA OH LORD SHES STUNNING IM SOBBING

- Okay I need to pause and breathe again the cinematography got me chokin

- Uh ooohhh someone is jeeaaalouus😛

- Nines really said “no worry fam I’ll airdrop the case files to u”

- Ada: *exists*

- me: I hope this doesn’t awaken anything in me

- HA GAV DEFINITELY JEALOUS RIP

- And nines back at it again with the sass I AM LIVING

- Chris and Gavin’s reactions to Nines imitating Ada is the best thing I’ve seen all year

- “I can do your voice too” HIS FACE IMDBDHDJKDJD CRYIGGGSBSN

- oh ;-; shit Michael really finna make me cri

- God damn the intro credits are so beautiful

- TINAAAAAAA BABYYYYY

- Real coffee hours with the sharktreuse mug🦈

- “our boy” SHIT IM CRYING AGAIN

- Tina knows Gavin was absolutely feral before Nines appeared at the DPD

- Half An Asshole squad please stand up we ride at dawn

- Gavin with the knockoff timbs WE STAN😎

- maybe “thank god, I hate you, you love me, move your feet, oop” will be our always

- I’m living for the whole “criminal minds” vibe goin on here

- Bruh Gavin got the hook-ups fr fr

- ❤️WITTY BANTER WITTY BANTER WITTY BANTER W❤️

- The level of reed900 is staggering

- I’ve had to pause and breathe so many times it’s pathetic I’m not even 15 mins in

- GAVIN SAID mwah<3🖕IM FUCKING DIED

- 850% godt damn Nines got that IOS 50 update

- NINES PUT CHRIS’ PROMOTION PARTY IN THE CALENDAR WHAT A GOOD DAD

- maybe “our calendar” will be our always

- Chris “wingman of the year” Miller

- Who’s that Pokémon??? It’s JEALOUS GAV

- The way Nines said “I don’t feel anything for her.” I see you bud

- insecure Gavin needing reassurance™️

- Im fucking dying I fucking died bro BRO WE ALL KNOW WHO YOURE TALKING ABOUT, NINES, WE ALL KNOW

- Asexual Nines FTW👊😤👏👏👏❤️He gives zero fucks of ANY kind

- AN ANGEL HAS APPEARED WITH A GLOWY BLUE SCARF

- BREAKING NEWS: affection-starved Gavin™️ is literally begging for love

- GAVIN REED STOP BEING MEAN TO GAVIN REED OR ELSE

- “But there’s much more to admire about you than to detest, I think.”<333

- JJ not being suspicious at all nope no way Jose

- Lazzo has said two words and I love him already

- I don’t think I’ve seen this episode of COPS before🤔🤔🤔

- We all know Nines secretly wants to wear those fun glasses

- “Officer I swear I’ve never seen that arm in my life, it’s my friend’s he just asked me to hold it for him, Android arm what android arm heh”

- “Like robot arms, not gun arms.” You’re doing great sweetie🥰

- HAND TOUCH HAND TOUCH HAND TOUCH H

- Chris “the interrogator” Miller😎

- THE CINEMATOGRAPHY

- soft n sleepy gav™️ is soft n sleepy

- FUCKING SLEEVELESS SWEATSHIRT IVE BEEN TALKING ABOUT GAV IN A SLEEVELESS SWEATSHIRT FOR SO LONG AND NOW IT’S REAL IM

- You can wear my😋😘sweeaatshiiiirt😝😁🤗 (I’m sorry I had to)

- inconspicuous loving glances™️

- #GiveAndroidsFuckinHealthcare2K20

- AAAHHHHHHHH I CANTT BREAF

- HEAD>ON>SHOULDER

- INCONSPICUOUS LOVING GLANCES™️

- Gavin has not slept in 80 years

- He really said “I’m fine” BITCH

- Bed time for brats™️ no later than 8:30pm

- hell yeah sleepover time

- “stop lookin at my insides n shit” I want that on a t shirt

- ANDROID DREAMS

- Nines is so soft I might die

- But he’s somehow equally suave as fuck how is this fair

- Oh my god dream!gavin is like Nines’ conscious this is so presh

- “What do you think Gavin was gonna say?” nsndJSKDOFIWKDBDNDNSJDBBDJDJDJDNDJXJNDIFUIFIEKWN HES STILL THINKING ABOUT THEIR CONVO

- dream!gavin you sly dog

- “To have this. Out there.” DONT FUCK WITH MY HEART LIKE THAT THIS INNER-MONOLOGUE FLUFF IS SO SWEET

- Nines being insecure™️

- Listen to dream!gavin, Nines, he has big brain

- The fact that Nines subconsciously KNOWS that irl!Gav “just wants someone that doesn’t hate him” but he’s STILL like alas, I can never be what gavin needs :’(

- nu babie don’t be sad🥺

- oh my god they’re both train wrecks protect them at all cost

- c r i p e s❤️the reed900 hurt/comfort we all needed

- FUCK

- Concerned boyfriends™️

- Maybe “I’m fine” will be our always

- GAV🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺💔💔💔💔💔💔

- Insecure boyfriends™️

- Nines “I’m not going to get any closer to Gavin because I can’t help him but also I want to cuddle with him because he had a nightmare” RK900

- did someone say c a t

- dumb babie gav jus spoon the dumb android so you both feel better

- Me: *rubs evil hands together* aha here comes the angst

- cue tragic backstory

- oh

- tragic backstory indeed

- YES DAD!FOWLER WE LOVE

- Gavin is so desperate for anyone to care about him I’m crying tears

- SHIT IT’S CUDDLE TIME™️ NOW IM REALLY FUCKING CRYING

- Alexa this is so god damn sad play despacito

- YES

- HAND>HOLDING

- HEAD>ON>SHOULDER

- NINES’ SKIN RETRACTING WHERE THEIR HANDS ARE TOUCHING THIS IS LIKE EVERY REED900 STAN’S DREAM COME TRUE

- Oh shit it’s about to get domestic I don’t think I’m mentally prepared

- YOU CAN WEAR MY😝💪SWEEAATSHIIIIIIRT🤪🔥🔥🔥 (I’m never letting the sleeveless sweatshirt thing go)

- Uh oh NO FUCK I’ve read enough fan fiction to know that this is where Gavin’s fucking trust issues kick in and he decides pushing nines away is safer than getting closer to him SHIT

- AND NINES GETS CONFUSED AND HURT

- AND THEN GAVIN GETS HURT

- I feel angst in this Chili’s tonight

- “I need you to leave” aaaaaaahhhhhhhh here come a whole different kind of tears

- frick dude that ouches

- Insert sad babie noises

- Oml the tension☠️poor Chris and Ada are like😑😑

- Chris could solve this case all by himself change my mind

- Gavin and Nines = (ò///-///ó)

- Chris = :D~oblivious~

- HELL YEAH PARTY TIME

- BEST WIVES TINA AND VALERIE AHHHH

- reed900 who??? I don’t know her. I only know ❤️valerina❤️

- I can’t believe Gavin and Nines invented angst

- I went and got blue gatorade just so I could pretend I was drinking thirium like Nines

- #DetectiveChen2K20

- real sad gavin hours

- Ruh roh Gavin bouta die from the ‘rona virus because rat man smokes hella

- CINEMATOGRAPHY CHEEEEECK HOLY SHIT

- my entire aesthetic in a single shot jfc

- Aaaaahhhh Nines trying to be a supportive bf just makes me ;-; [takes damage]

- HES ACCEPTED GAVIN AS MORE THAN A PARTNER🥺that, my friends, is what we call character development

- We stan the otp aggressively talking about their feelings

- “I’m not going anywhere.” FUCK™️

- SMOKE>FACE

- Aaaaand they’re back at square one. It’s cool it’s fine it’s all good we can work with this.

- Gavin: I don’t need you ò-ó

- Gavin: *immediately after Nines leaves* fuck ó-ò

- “It’s fine”™️

- I love Ada so much hhhhhh she said 🤨

- “Basic Instinct” TINA WITH THE HEAT OMG

- *nervous laugh* haha Ada sis maybe chill a little bit ha ha

- oh no I have a not good feeling

- ADA CHILL ADA CHILL

- WHY IS HE FOLLOWING HER INTO AN ALLEY AFTER THAT SKETCHY TALK

- AAA FUCK FUCK FUCJDJEMNSNDJDNXU FUCK I FUCKING KNEW IT FUCK SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT FUCK

- 😖x1000000

- Oh my god this is so fucking sad Alexa play The Sound of Silence

- Nines got fucked up and Gavin is CONCERNED

- aayyyyy bro Nines full on nakey

- Tina and Gavin sad bro huggin👊😔

- ADA HOW DARE YOU. HOW VERY DARE YOU.

- Uh oh Nines is fckn PISSED

- he MAD mad

- Tina speakin straight facts I love her

- WOOP GAVIN FINALLY ADMITTING HE NEEDS NINES

- f u c k right in the heart

- I don’t want to attempt writing any notes at this moment because my thoughts are completely incoherent I am a MESS

- “I need you to come back, Nines.” DONT PLAY W ME LIKE THAT

- HAND HOLDING FTW

- Did Gavin really almost bring Nines back through the power of love I am SHAKING

- Dream!Gavin speaking truth as ALWAYS

- These damn flashbacks making me feel some type of way

- OH SHIT HE AWAKE

- that actually low key jump scared me

- God damn these sets are so fucking pro, I’m so happy

- REUNION

- Tina really say “Chris ;) ;) lets go get some ;) coffee ;) ;) ;) ;)”

- CHRIS’ REALIZATION FACE FUCKING LAID ME OUT I HAD TO PAUSE I WAS LAUGJINB SO HARD

- You Undead Asshole™️

- Gavin: ( ⚆ _ ⚆ ) fuck he actually heard me talk about my feelings n shit

- Nines: You literally told me you fucking needed me like five minutes ago

- Gavin: huh weird that doesn’t sound like me I actually hate you

- ooOOHHH S H I T

- REALLY IS THIS REALLY HAPPENIGN

- woah shit sorry I blacked out for a second what happened

- MY POOR LITTLE FUCKING REED900 HEART IS EXPLODING AND IMPLODING AT THE SAME FUCKING TIME

- CAAAAAAAAN YOU FEEL THE LOVE TONIIIGGHTT

- holy shit I actually gave myself a bloody fucking nose because I smacked my face too hard in excitement

- ❤️💘🧡💞💕💘💓💚💛💘💞💓💛💛💞💘❤️💚💘💜💕💖❤️❤️💕💓💗💘💖💚💝❤️

- FUCK

- “What dipshit programmed you to do that?” 🥺🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️FUCK

- My aunt came in and told me she heard me shouting then asked why I was crying

- HAHA FUCKING CHRIS IS MEEEE

- shit I need to like..,,,,physically recover from that

- whew okay break time is over let’s fucking go

- Nines in the cheeky turtleneck I SEE U

- #DETECTIVECHEN2K20

- Gavin: I’m ready to take this hoe DOWN

- Initiate protocol: SAVE ADA FROM HERSELF

- I could listen to Tina talk to dispatch for hours🥰❤️❤️❤️

- WHITE TRENCH COAT WHITE TRENCH COAT WHITE TRENCH COAT WHITE T

- Gavin being hella concerned boyfriend™️

- FIGHT SCENE™️

- omfg that crowbar really went *CLANG* when it hit Ada’s steel fkn abs what a legend💪😎

- Hell yeah epic Nines gif moment

- no Ada don’t choke Gavin it only makes him stronger

- CHRIS THE MOTHER FUCKIN GOAT😎👏👏👏he really said “fuck ur monologue I’m here to get shit done”

- ADA QUEEN YOURE OKAY SWEETIE

- That character development godt damn

- I might be reaching but Gavin is now wearing a white/off-white shirt/gray that kINDA RESEMBLES DREAM!GAVIN’S SHIRT. Coincidence? I THINK NOT. THATS SYMBOLISM IF I EVER DID SEE IT.

- “buyer’s remorse, huh?”

- “I can’t be everything you need.”

- That awkward moment when you realize the person you were hiding your feelings from has also been hiding their feelings from you.

- “a year of that fuckin’...Ken Doll face smirkin’ at me every day” BE CUTER GAVIN, I DARE YOU.

- naked hand = love

- CHEEKY BASTARDS

- FUCK FUCK FUCK ME

- THAT WAS SO DAMN BEAUTIFUL

- So my review of this film could be summed up by saying that I basically cried for an hour and fifteen minutes.

- Holy damn

#fun game: watch the film and try to guess what each of these crazy ramblings is referring to #im still reeling from all of that #I think I need to watch it again #yes that sounds like a plan #this is kind of like a review #if it were written by an emotional crackhead who got zero sleep last night #also #happy easter babes #if u celebrate it of course #what did we do to deserve this film #jfc there are still tears in my eyes #I need to watch it again asap #Detroit evolution #octopunk media #reed900

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chaotixalex · 3 years

Text

aight, so today i had a shitty day. lemme tell u about it n then how i fixed it.

woke up at 8 am to go to the hospital for an ultrasound. it's a mandatory one bc im gonna have an endoscopy on Saturday (IM FUCKING FREAKING OUT )

so I wake up but i have to stay hungry for the scan so i dont eat. but they also need my bladder to be full aka me being in the brink of me pissing myself so I keep drinking water.

fast forward to 9, i leave home, but need i remind u my scan is due 10.20.

I get there 45 mins early, knowingly bc my mom's insurance is a bitch and it takes time to contact the company for the approval(this is also a good time to tell that this is a private hospital because this is where the doc for the endoscopy is working at, im just at a different settlement bc it's closer)

i get there and i already need to go but I also have to wait for like 40 mins, nvm i get the approval after 20 mins so I just wait.

then the assistant takes me in to the scan room, it's dark and cold and im already stressed/anxious AND THE OPERATOR DOES NOT COME IN FOR FULL 20 MINS so i just lay there with my belly exposed and gelled up

what might that lead to you might ask, well it leads me to having a full force breakdown/anxiety attack -the type that leaves u hyperventilating, y'know - because im worried about the result

i was and will be tested for a genetic disease that has wasted away two people I really cared about in front of my eyes day after day until they died and has taken away organs from both my dad an my uncle. so yeah it is important u might say that

fast forward, the operator comes, does her thing and then just keeps ignoring me, I get out and pay for the thing (private hospitals babe!!) while still in need to pee so much that it hurt and kinda still spiralling

then I ran straight to the nearest bathroom and continued my thing there after peeing

then I go to get a covid test bc it's mandatory to have it done within a week prior to the endoscopy

I go and the guy at the front desk says that my mum's insurance doesn't cover it and they ask for 250 bucks for it

so I call mum and ask for her to fix it, still very on the edge thank you very much, she calls some places and the insurance fails twice more before i can get the thing done

I get through that too and head home to change so I can go out with my friends (we're all vaccinated and had our masks don't worry)

I get home so that I can eat before I go but having been hungry for that long my ED decides to kick back in and I leave without eating

I go out and realise it's cold so I change my outfit and miss my bus and I take the expensive and creepy one,

i get to the subway and in the train a lady keeps looking at me funny and i manage to get off before I either punch her or start crying bc I thought it was bc of my makeup.

I get there we talk, I have two coffee but after 3~ hours having not eaten anything and wearing my binder catches up with me!! hurray I get weak knees and wobbly hands (I changed into my binder after I came home! hospitals are shit to work with if u have a binder so I only had it on for 4 hours)

but I push on and we go visit my old teacher which requires me walking A LOT (added to the spot I walked before)

then my friends decide to eat (and this is where everything goes shit) we go to KFC,

but need I remind u im now weaker and stumble on the stairs and then we go there to eat

i releessed so hard to keep lookong normal taht i DON'T REMEMBER EATING, i just remember the vibration that had taken over my whole body and how hard o tried to repress it

then we took the subway and we separated ways I took another bus but one j got off of that one

i almost passed out. almost.

i made it home safely, i did not done with my family, rested a little on my sister's insisting (she yelled at me for being irresponsible about the binder) (for a 14 eat old she sure can yell BIG TIME)

i rested a bit more and my mum asked me to do buns I started doing them and left them to rise and when I was shaping/BAKING them in the oven it started to rain

and to be honest it just made the stress f the day melt away

and i ate one cheese and two warm sweet buns

it was nice and it's still raining, everyone went to bed and im in my bed

im gonna read

yes, that was all thanks for coming to my ted talk!

#my ramblings #my day today #baking #hospitals #tw ed stuff #eating disorders #rain #buns

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horansqueen · 4 years

Text

You & Me : chapter 21

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- notes: thank you for the comments and notes to those who still send them! it means a lot to me. i hope this chapter isnt disappointing!

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : MAJOR SPOILERS! i even added one that i got for AM Conversations lol so yep! keep sending them! the more i get, the longer this story will be lol!

Chapter 21 : His chapter

NIALL

The way we had made love kept playing over and over in my head but what I was really obsessed with was how she looked, wearing only my shirt (not even panties), sitting in the couch as she ate the meal I had prepared. She had almost choked on the rice when something funny happened in the movie we were watching and I never really noticed how endearing it was... how adorable she was. Now that we had had sex a few times, I could see a bit clearer. I was still horny for her and was ready to go whenever she wanted to, but I could also realize the little things I had missed. The way her nose raised up when I teased her about her clumsiness, the way her face lighted up when she was excited (she would even sometimes make a few small jumps), the way she bit her bottom lip when she was trying not to laugh, and even the messy state her hair was in when she'd wake up in the morning. I could make a list of all the things she did that I adored and sometimes, I spent half an hour actually listing her cute behaviors in my head.

I knew she was busy these days and I didn't want to bother her but I couldn't help but sent her a few text messages through the days. She didn't seem to bother, she even answered me quite quickly, but on friday, she replied with a message that sort of got to me.

'Did you ever have a talk with Louis about the argument you two had?'

In fact, we had not and I knew that since a few days had passed, we were both calm now and could have a discussion without risking to jump at each other's throat. It was not like me to be violent anyway but Louis knew me well and he knew exactly on which button to press to anger me. I sent him a quick text message, inviting him over and got up to check if I had enough beer left for the night. My phone beeped and I chuckled at his answer that consisted of a smiley emoji showing his teeth and the words 'On my way' written with a few exclamation points.

I quickly sent Olivia a message to tell her about it and then licked my lips before pressing them together and typing something else.

'I miss you, petal, send a selfie.'

I waited about a minute and smiled when I saw the picture of her doing a pouty face with El and Julie doing the same behind her and I realized that Louis was either stuck with the 3 girls and was glad to escape to come to my place, or he was alone by himself at his house and I was saving him from boredom. Either way, it made me laugh and I hesitated but decided to send her an other message.

'Love that selfie but when you have time, you should send me an other kind of selfie 😏'

'😂😂😂 Perv!'

I laughed and put my phone away before rummaging through my pantry to find chips and candies and brought everything to the living room along with beers before the doorbell rang. I breathed in and walked up to it, opening it slowly only to see one of my best friends waiting for me on the other side. He shook his eyebrows and the left corner of his lips curled into an amused smile.

"Hey Neil." he let out, making me smile too. "Thanks for inviting me. Livi said I should bring you this."

He moved his hand up and I noticed he was holding two bottles, one of vodka and one of jack daniels, in-between his fingers. I chuckled and moved away to let him in, following him to the living room. He put the bottles on the coffee table and turned to me before we hugged each other.

"I'm sorry Niall, I should have told you."

"I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have been so pissed about it."

We pulled away and Louis raised his eyebrows before rushing to the kitchen and coming back with two glasses. He poured vodka in both and handed me one before clinking his against mine.

"To neverending friendship." he let out, making me smile. "Nothing can break this bond yea?"

I smiled and nodded, licking my lips. "Yea."

We sat together and he opened a beer. I stared at him as he dropped the cap on the coffee table and leaned against the couch before turning to look at me. I didn't know if he was waiting for me to say something but I just grabbed my beer too and took a sip.

"I know I shouldn't have had sex with your ex girlfriend, Niall. " he pointed out after a while. "I just... we became very close, and it's the only way we found not to throw ourselves at random people in bars and shit. I mean I love my son more than anything in the world, but that wasn't planned and I didn't want something like that to happen again. I mean it was a baby, and it was good news, but it could have been something bad, you know?"

It didn't make much sense to me but I kept quiet, curious to hear all he had to say about that.

"It really just happened. The first time we did it she was... so sad. I had just learned that I was going to be a dad, and we both didn't know how to cope with that."

"Who had the idea?" I asked, surprised that those words even came out of my mouth and regretting them right after. I wanted to know but at the same time, i didn't.

Louis sighed but kept looking in my eyes. "Hers, I guess." he shrugged. "But also not really. It's complicated. She proposed it, changed her mind, and I insisted. She said It was the best way to stop hurting for a few hours and honestly Niall, she was right. Every time we needed to tone down the pain in the next few months, that's how we did it. It was a bad way to handle it I mean, we went to therapy later and the more we healed, the less we fucked."

Quickly, I swallowed my beer, emptying it and putting it a bit roughly on the coffee table before grabbing the glass and pouring myself more vodka. I could feel Louis' eyes on me as I took a long sip of it and he sighed.

"I'm sorry, Niall."

"I just can't believe you choked my ex girlfriend." I pointed out in a low tone. "You called her names. You made her moan and cum. But the worst of all, Louis, is that you became so close to her that you guys can just look at each other and know exactly what the other is thinking."

I didn't say more but I knew that it also meant that in bed, he knew exactly what she liked. He knew exactly how to turn her on, how to touch her to give her pleasure, how to make her shake beneath him. He had seen her in a vulnerable state that I wished I was the only one who saw. I wanted to be the only one to read her that way, whether it was sexually or romantically.

"You're her best friend now and I'm not." I mumbled. "I'm nothing."

I swallowed the rest of my glass, feeling suddenly my whole body on fire but I didn't know if it was because of anger or because of the alcohol. Perhaps, a bit of both.

"I won't lie to you, Niall. She's my best friend. She's my other half." he shook his head. "But it's just friendship. It means a lot, but we don't have romantic love for each other. The special connection we have is all about friendship. A deep one alright, but still."

"You don't get it." I scoffed, looking down at my glass as I felt myself get slightly dizzy. "She used to have that connection with me."

I felt Louis move on the couch and he got closer, still holding his glass but he waited until I looked up in his eyes to talk.

"No, what you had was stronger than that. The connection you two had, Niall, was stronger than what me and her have. And you're the one who broke it. It'll come back, I can feel it. But you're gonna have to work for it. She was hurt, and even if I know she loves you, she's so scared."

He took a pause as I let the words he spoke sink in.

"I don't think you realize what happened after you broke up with her, Niall. She was broken. She was like a zombie, numb and lost. She lost her boyfriend and her best friend at the same time. The person she loves the most in the world. You're still that person so... fight. And don't hurt her again because I swear I'm going to kill you."

"Did she date anyone else?"

Louis sighed and finished his beer before filling our glasses again. Waiting for his answers every single time I asked a question was driving me crazy.

"Yea, some girl she met I can't remember where." he shrugged. "It was not serious because we didn't..." he stopped himself and looked up in my eyes. "We didn't stop having sex while she was with her. I mean I'm not even sure they were official, I never asked and she didn't want to talk about it."

"So she never cheated on Dylan with you." I pointed out, suddenly a bit stressed.

"No. And I never cheated on El. With anyone. You know me." he let out firmly. "She cheated on him with you though, didn't she."

"I guess. From what I understand, he knows or something. I just don't know what to do to make her choose me. I've tried telling her how I felt and I made her many promises, but she doesn't trust me, so I'm getting drunk tonight trying not to think too much of my ex girlfriend riding you and moaning your name, or about her getting married to an other famous prick."

"Who's the prick? You or me?"

I smiled and chuckled low. "Both."

I thought he'd throw something at me but he just laughed and shook his head.

"Liv has her secrets but I feel like you have yours, too." Louis let out as we drank our third glass. "You two are gonna have to talk to each other before anything can be official between you."

I groaned. "Talking is all we do. I told her so many things I thought I'd never have the guts, or the chance to tell her. I don't know if she can handle finding out about who I was when she was not around."

"She can." he argued. "Besides, it must not have been that bad since nothing appeared online."

I chuckled. "I'm normally quite good at being private, so don't be so sure."

"I'm sure it's nothing that can't be forgiven. I mean she slept with your best mate and you forgave her, so." he laughed, making me groan again and grimace.

I heard my phone beep again and grabbed it only to smile when I saw her name on the screen. I didn't know why everything that was linked to her made me happy but I knew I was a bit tipsy anyway. I quickly lost my smile when I saw the picture she sent me and my jaw dropped.

'For your eyes only 😉' was written right under a picture of her.

"Jesus Christ."

My eyes roamed on her body and I felt my heartbeats accelerate. She was naked in front of the mirror and her free hand was hiding her pussy. I wanted her so bad that I had to reach for my cock to adjust myself, almost forgetting that Louis was there with me. I thought about touching her and groaned low until Louis hit my knee with his.

"You're fucking drooling, what is it?"

With difficulty, I took my eyes off of my phone and looked up at my friend who had an amused smile on the lips. I turned the screen off and cleared my throat, grabbing my glass and swallowing what was left in it as Louis started laughing.

"It's Olivia isn't it?" he asked, his smile growing. "What did she say? No wait, did she send you a picture? She's supposed to be with my girlfriend right now!"

"Well trust me, your girlfriend is not on the picture. She was not even in the same room."

"No fucking way, she sent you a nude!"

I opened my lips to answer something cheeky but was cut by the sound of my phone again, feeling my heart jump in my chest at the thought of her messaging me but I frowned when I saw who it was coming from and made a small grimace. I should have blocked Heidi's number but I normally don't do that because I'm not a bitter person. Still, if she was to message me too much, I'd definitely have to do something. I clicked on it and it's the message I saw first.

'Told you. Call me.'

I frowned more and scrolled down to see the picture. It was Olivia wearing a wedding dress. I had no idea where the picture came from and I knew that I should try to find details on the picture that would give me clues but all I could focus on was her. Something jumped in my chest but unlike what Heidi probably thought, it was not sadness that I felt when I looked at that picture. I was pretty sure Heidi had sent that to me just to hurt me or start something between Olivia and I but I didn't care. All I cared about was all the thoughts running through in my mind. She looked incredible. She looked so beautiful I felt like I was witnessing something I was not supposed to, as if I was the future husband and that I was not allowed to see her in her wedding dress before she walked down the altar. I felt myself tear up and brought my hand to cover my mouth, swallowing hard and blinking a few times.

I knew Olivia was not sure she was going to get married to Dylan yet and for now, it was enough for me. I also knew she had to go through with the wedding plan and even if it hurt, it was still legit. I could wait a few weeks, right? After all, she waited years for me and never gave up.

"Olivia was shopping for her wedding dress today?" I just asked, my eyes glued to the picture.

"Yea, she was going with Julie and El." Louis confirmed as I shook my head. "Are you mad?"

"Mad?" I asked, raising my eyebrows and looking up at him. "No, I'm just.. she looks amazing."

I turned my phone and Louis moved closer to check the picture before moving back and leaning against the couch again. I turned the screen to me again and sighed, closing my eyes and rubbing them roughly.

"So which picture do you prefer?" Louis asked with a smirk, making me roll my eyes.

"You want to know if my lust for her is stronger than my love for her?" I just asked. "The answer is no. I just feel a bit guilty for even seeing the one with the wedding dress."

"Who sent it to you?"

"Heidi." I replied with a grimace, making Louis roll his eyes.

"Never liked this girl. No idea what you saw in her. But she did that to hurt you, clearly."

"Well it doesn't, it just makes me want to..." I shook my head, searching for my words. "It makes me want to marry her."

With a chuckle, Louis moved closer to me again, his eyebrows raised in surprise and a small smile playing across his lips.

"Excuse me you said what?"

"I want to marry her. You know, have kids, live together, plan an actual future..."

"Who are you and what did you do with me mate?"

"Shut up!" I groaned before chuckling, throwing the untouched bag of chips at him.

He just caught it, opened it and took a handful of chips that he brought to his mouth.

"Yuh shoo tah uh." he muttered as I rolled my eyes, waiting for him to swallow. "You really should tell her." he repeated.

"I don't know how to tell her I love her anymore. I don't know how to prove to her that she's the only one I need and that I'll never break her heart again. That I will never leave, no matter what happens."

I knew I was getting drunk by the minute but I still grabbed my glass and poured more alcohol in it without checking from which bottle it was from. I drank it as I shook my leg, racking my brain to find a way to show her that I meant it. I jumped off the couch and felt suddenly dizzy and held myself on the couch, making Louis laugh.

"Mate, sit back down, you're drunk."

"Nooo no, I know how to make her realize how much she means to me!"

Louis frowned but I ignored him, rushing to my room and searching through a box of my old stuff. It took me about ten minutes but I finally found an old letter Olivia had written me when we were teens and brought it back, giving it to Louis with a big smile. I stood next to him with a large smile as he read it and finally, he looked up at me and chuckled.

"Okay she wrote you letters like that and you didn't know she was in love with you?" he just said with an other chuckle. "Mate, you need someone to hit you behind the head. I can do it if you want me to."

"No, Tommo. You don't get it." I grabbed the paper from his hands and turned it around, pointing at the bottom. "There's her name. In her own handwriting."

Louis frowned, then realized and finally, his eyes got bigger and he got up, grabbing both my shoulders and raising his eyebrows before shaking me slightly.

"Niall, you never ever wanted a tattoo in your life!" he pointed out. "Besides, you're drunk, no one will agree to tattoo you!"

"Oh but you know tattoo artists that will anyway yea? I'm counting on you!"

He stared at me for a few minutes and I brought my hands together in a way to beg him. He ended up rolling his eyes with a smile, making mine grow even more.

"Fine! But if you regret it tomorrow, don't you fucking blame me!"

I barely remembered anything, from the way the needles felt to the final result but when Louis drove us back home, he kept glancing at me. The window was down and the cool wind of the night helped me sober up. I still didn't regret it but I knew it was a possibility when I'd wake up. I'd deal with it in the morning though, I was getting a bit too tired to think about it.

"Did it hurt?"

"Not really. Perhaps I was too drunk to feel it." I replied with a shrug, leaning my head on the seat. "You think she'll realize how much I love her with that tattoo?"

"First off, you're gonna have to show her. It's super small, and it's in a spot no one can see unless you're naked I mean, why did you want it there?" Louis frowned before shaking his head. "Anyway, not the point. She already knows you love her. So do I think this tattoo will suddenly bring her trust in you back? No. But it'll definitely entertain her."

I groaned again. "Shut up."

"Hey, I'm just so happy I got to witness that once in my life. Pretty sure it's the only tattoo you'll ever get. It's an honor for me, thank you, Neil."

"I hate you."

He was right, I had chosen a spot no one could see, at the top of my thigh, near my stomach. I've never been a fan of tattoos and I couldn't find a place to put it that wouldn't be obvious and the only other places that people never see would have given her a very wrong impression of my intentions. I could feel it burn on my skin and unlike what I thought, It didn't make me feel weird. Louis was right, it was a very small tattoo, not worth writing home about, but everyone who knew me was aware that it did mean something.

Louis parked and we walked inside in silence but he stopped near the door and patted my shoulder gently.

"I think I'm gonna leave." he just said in a low tone. "Do you need help to clean or anything?"

I shook my head and grabbed my phone, checking her picture again and surprisingly, it was the wedding dress one. I pressed my lips together and Louis moved closer, his hand squeezing my shoulder this time.

"Do you want me to call her for you?" he asked in a gentle tone. "Maybe she'd want to spend the night here? I'll even give her a ride if she wants."

I looked at my friend and felt a wave of affection for him. Knowing he was there for me and that he cared made me feel better. When I broke up with Olivia, Louis had disappeared and he hadn't been much present until I ran into her again. Now, it felt like he was back in my life for real and I liked it.

"I don't know..."

I was not sure. I wanted her with me, and the craving was intense, but I didn't want her to feel like she had to take care of me again. Still, the thought of holding her in my arms was so hard it made a shiver cross my back.

"I started writing songs for a new album." I let out randomly. "All the fucking songs are about her."

Louis looked at me for a few seconds and sighed. "Tell her, Niall. Do it." He grabbed his phone and clicked on something before bringing the phone to his ear.

"Hey love, I'm with Niall right now and he really wants to see you." Louis looked up at me as I rolled my eyes and he smirked. "Why didn't he call you himself?" He took the phone away from his mouth and whispered to me. "She says you never replied to her last text message."

I closed my eyes, remembering the nude she sent me and let out a low curse word, feeling suddenly like an ass and hoping she didn't think I didn't enjoy looking at her naked.

"No darling," Louis continued. "He was too shy to call you. And he didn't answer your text because he was too busy jerking off to it."

I felt my heart jump in my chest and hit his arm a bit roughly but it only made him smile more. I closed my eyes and grunted low, hearing Louis say a bunch of 'Mmhm''s before saying goodbye and hanging up.

"She'll be there in half an hour." he sent me a satisfied smile. "I mean she said 15 minutes but, you know her."

I remained motionless for a few seconds, just looking at my friend, and finally, I brought him into a hug that he quickly answered. I moved my chin down, trying not to cry, and just closed my eyes.

"I know you love her, mate. And I think you two are soulmates." he admitted in a low tone. "Fight for it. Get her back. And then, never let her go."

#niall horan #niall horan smut #niall horan fluff #niall horan writing #niall horan story #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan fan fiction #my fanfics #yam #here is to louis being an amazing friend as usual :)

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abrakophile · 3 years

Text

I was looking through a bunch of junk and found some letters from my dad when he was in the army. I’m afraid I'll accidently toss them, so maybe I’ll put them here?

OPs Name JUNE 02 03

I LOVE YOU

THIS IS MY NAME IN KURDISH

*my dad wrote his first and last name, and under it, in Kurdish*

ILL TRY AND FIND OUT HOW TO WRITE YOUR NAME AND MOMS TOO.

ITS STILL HOT. I WORK AND READ BOOKS TO PASS THE TIME AWAY.

HOW ARE YOU DOING? GOOD I HOPE. WHAT DO YOU DO FOR FUN? DO YOU EVER HANG OUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS? TELL THEM I SAID “WASSUP?” NAH, DONT TELL THEM. TELL ME WHAT YOUR THINKING. I’M TRYING TO SEND YOU SOME MORE OF MY DRAWINGS. WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DRAW YOU? DID YOU LIKE THE DRAWING I SENT YOU OF YOU NAME? ITS ALRIGHT IF YOU DIDNY. JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU DO WANT ME TO DRAW YOU.

(Flip Page)

THIS IS WEIRD! (The page does not have lines on the left side of it) i WONDER WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS PIECE OF PAPER. HaHa

I MISS YOU ALOT. PLEASE SOND ME SOME MORE OF YOUR DRAWINGS, YOU CAN DRAW ME ANYTHING YOU WANT TO.

ARE YOU BEING GOOD FOR YOUR MOM? ITS NICE IF YOU HELP HER OUT WHILE I’M AWAY.

HAVE YOU BEEN ANYPLACE NEW? HOW IS SCHOOL GOING FOR YOU? IS MOMMY GOING TO SCHOOL? I KNOW I WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL WHEN I GET BACK. HOPEFULLY I GET THE CHANCE TO LEARN EVERYTHING THAT THERE IS TO KNOW. THAT WOULD BE GREAT.

ALSO, ID LIKE TO DO SOME FISHING? HOW ABOUT YOU? I GUESS ILL END HERE. BE GOOD AND STAY IN SCHOOL. AND JUST SAY NO TO DRUGS.

THEYRE BAD.

I LIVE YOU OP

*hearts and x’s* DADDY

---

(I don’t know if all these pages are in order or if it’s missing any, but this was the letter in the same stack as the last but this one was for my mom. In some places his indents indicate passage of time.)

I HAVENT HAD ANY TIME TO WRITE SINCE WEVE BEEN ON THE ROAD, NOT TO MENTION THAT WE CAN’T SEND MAIL WHEN WE’RE MOVING ALL THE TIME.

WEVE BEEN ON THE ROAD FOR ABOUT FIVE OR SIX DAYS, I HAVENT REALLY BEEN COUNTING. I KNOW I TOLD YOU THAT WE’D BE IN KUWAIT FOR A WHILE, BUT THAT WAS SO YOU WOULDNT BE WORRIED. I’M GOING TO KEEP THIS LETTER THOUGH, TILL I GET HOME.

ABOUT TWO NIGHTS AGO, WE DROVE THROUGH BAGDHAD, SOMEBODY SAID THAT THERE WERE PILED BODIES, I DONT KNOW IF IT WAS TRUE.

AND I GUESS YESTERDAY, A COUPLE OF PEOPLE SAID THEY SAW A MISSILE OR SOEMTHING SHOT AT US. I WAS TRYING TO FIX A TRUCK SO I DIDNT SEE IT.

ITS NOT AS DUSTY HERE IN IRAQ. IT REMINDS ME OF THE CONVOYS IN KOREA.

MOST OF THE PEOPLE WILL WAVE “HI”. SOME OTHERS DONT.

I SAW A KID OPEN HIS HAND ONCE WHILE MOVING, AND IT SAID “BUSH” THAT WAS KIND OF COOL.

OH YEAH. HERES A STORY. WHILE OUT DOING A MISSION, ONE OF OUR “BRADLEY” TANKS FIRED ON AN ENEMY AMMO TRUCK AND CLIPPED A KID. THE ROUNDS BLEW ONE OF HIS LEGS OFF AND SOME OF THE OTHER, FROM THE KNEE DOWN. SO THE MEDICS PICKED HIM UP AND BROUGHT HIM TO OUR RECONCOLIDATING POINT FOR MEDICAL TREATMENT. I GUESS HE EVENTUALLY DIED FROM LOSS OF BLOOD THE NEXT NIGHT AND YESTERDAY THEY TOOK HIM OUT AND BURIED HIM.

ALSO WE PICKED UP ABOUT 25-30 P.O.W.s AND SENT THEM SOUTH.

IT GETS PRETTY COLD AT NIGHT. AND THE DAY’S ARE VERY HOT.

SINCE WE LEFT KUWAIT ITS BEEN ME AND MENDOZA IN THE FIVE TON WRECKER AND I HAVE TO ADMIT THAT ITS BEEN EXCITING. WE KEPT GETTING SEPERATED FROM THE CONVOY AND BREAKING DOWN. BUT I THINK THAT WERE BETTER NOW. HOPEFULLY.

IM STILL WAITING TO BE AMBUSHED TO MAKE ALL THIS SEEM REAL TO ME. A PART OF ME WANTS IT AND ANOTHER DOESNT.

AND IT SEEMS LIKE ONLY OUR UNIT HAS TO STAY IN UNIFORM, EVERYONE ELSE WEARS T-SHIRTS AND BANDENA’S AND RAGS ON THEIR HEAD

WERE STILL GOING NORTH. NOBODY KNOWS HOW LONG WE’LL STAY. ITS NOT THAT BAD HERE. MEANING, IT COULD BE WORSE.

I USED A “SHIT-CHAIR”. ITS JUST A METAL CHAIR WITH A HOLE CUT IN THE MIDDLE AND THE SEAT FROM A TOILET BOLTED TO IT, GROSS.

HELICOPTERS CAN BE HEARD ALL DAY AND NIGHT. I GOT TO SEE THEM DROP BOMBS ALL DAY ABOUT 3 DAYS AGO, FROM A DISTANCE OF COURSE.

ILL BE DRIVING AGAIN, IN A MINUTE. PROBABLY RE-FUEL AND BACK ON THE ROAD AGAIN. IM ENJOYING IT.

I HAVE 8 MAGAZINES FULL OF ROUNDS. NO GRENADES, BUT I LIKE IT LIKE THAT.

SOMETIMES IT SMELLS LIKE SHIT.

I GUESS ILL END IT HERE FOR NOW

I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU TWO TWICE IF NOT THRICE AS MUCH AS YOU MIGHT MISS ME TOO.

HELLO AGAIN. WERE SOMEWHERE NEAR TIKRI + MOSUL. YESTERDAY, ME + MENDOZA WENT LOOKING FOR MOMENTO’S. WE BROKE A LOCK TO A NEAR BY BUNKER AND FOUND 6 A.K.47s! BUT ON OUR WAY BACK TO TURN THEM IN, MAJOR TATU GOT THEM FROM US. I WAS SO PISSED. BUT I GOT A GAS MASK w/ FILTER, A FULL MAGAZINE CLIP FROM ONE OF THE A.K.s AND A BERET WITH IRAQ 1 RANK ON IT.

I MADE A STENCIL FOR THE TRUCK WERE RIDING IN. ITS CALLED THE “GAMBLER.” YESTERDAY MENDOZA DROVE, SO TODAY ILL BE DRIVING.

IM NOT POSITIVE, BUT, I THINK WERE GOING TO TURKEY. NIETO SAYS THAT HE OVERHEARD SOMEBODY FROM S1 (or SI, I’m not sure) SAYING WE MIGHT GET PAID EXTRA FOR GOING THROUGH BAGHDAD.

I THINK NIETO’S MAD AT ME. CANT EXPLAIN WHY. MAYBE ITS BECAUSE IM RIDING WITH MENDOZA AND HE DOESNT LIKE MENDOZA TOO MUCH. OH WELL, WHATEVER REASON, HOPE THINGS GET NORMAL AGAIN. HAVE TO GO,

*hearts and xs*

TODAY IS THE 25th OF APRIL, I RECEIVED FIVE OR SIX (OR SEVEN) LETTERS YESTERDAY. THE LATEST WAS DATED 07 OF APRIL. THAT TELLS ME THAT ITS GOING TO TAKE A WHILE TO COMMUNICATE.

WE HAVENT RECEIVED MAIL BECAUSE WEVE BEEN MOVING NEVER STAYING IN ONE PLACE MORE THAN A DAY, OR TWO, UNTIL NOW. WE’VE BEEN IN THIS SPOT GOING ON FOUR DAYS TOMORROW?!

GIVE ME A MINUTE...

FOR THE LAST COUPLE OF DAYS IVE BEEN HELPING MENDOZA PULL THE ENGINE OUT OF A 5 TON TRUCK AND SWITCH IT w/ ANOTHER ONE. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN EASY BUT THE FLY WHEEL SEIZED UP INSIDE THE BELL HOUSING. ITS FINISHED NOW AND THE RUMOR IS WE’RE LEAVING (OR MOVING) AGAIN TOMORROW.

ITS 10:33 THURSDAY MORNING. YOUR TIME IS 12:32 JUST TURNING THURSDAY.

I ALMOST CRYED WHEN I SAW ELIS PICTURE. I REALLY MISS BOTH OF YOU. LET ME BACK TO BEFORE I GOT DISTRACTED. I HAVENT BEEN ABLE TO SEND MAIL BECAUSE WE’VE BEEN MOVING. BUT I GUESS THAT WHATEVER THREAT THERE WAS (IF ANY), ISNT SO THREATFUL ANYMORE, WE CAN START RECEIVING AND SENDING MAIL. NO PHONE TO CALL FROM, AND NO INTERNET TO E-MAIL FROM.

THE WHOLE UNIT IS SCATTERED, SO EVEN IF I GET WHAT YOU NEED IT’LL TAKE FOREVER TO GET IT TO YOU. LET ME PULL THOSE LETTERS BACK OUT. OH WAIT. I DID LAUNDRY AND SOME UNDERWEAR THATS DRY, FELT HARD, OH WELL, WAIT A SECOND, K

I HAD TO FOLD SOME T-SHIRTS. ALL MY SOCKS ARE STILL DAMP.

YOU CAN USE MY CONTRACT TO SHOW THAT I ENLISTED IN TEXAS AND HOWS THIS

*On a separate sheet my dad wrote a detailed note for my mom to give to someone to confirm that he did want to buy a house. He writes “I AM ALIVE AND WELL.” and “PLEASE ACCEPT THIS PAPER”, then he signed it with his scribble signature, and underneath it wrote his name in print and added “1st SQUADRON 10th CAVALRY HEADQUARTERS TROOP (I have no clue what this means)*

HOW’S THAT? HOPE I SPELLED EVERYTHING CORRECTLY. IM ALMOST READY WITH A DESIGN TO COVER THE OTHER TATTOOS ON MY LEFT FOREARM.

I JUST FINISHED LOOKING OVER ALL THOSE LETTERS YOU SENT FOR ME

IM BACK! I GOT SLEEPY SO I TRYED TO LAY DOWN FOR A LITTLE BIT. NO SLEEP. I DONT THINK. I DIDNT HAVE ENOUGH WATER TO WASH MY DCV’S AND A PAIR OF BDV’S. BESIDES FOR DRINKING WATER, BUT WE HAVE TO CONSERVE IT.

LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE RUMORS. TOMORROW WE’LL BE LEAVING FOR THE IRAN/IRAQ BORDER TO DO “PEACE KEEPING” FOR 3 TO 6 mths. OTHERS SAY THAT THE 4ID (i think is what this says) GENERAL WANTS TO KEEP US HERE TILL NOV., THATS WHEN 1 CAV WILL COME TO REPLACE US. WHILE OTHERS SAY WE MIGHT LEAVE BY JUNE. NOTHINGS FOR SURE.

SMALLER RUMORS FLOATING AROUND THE SITE ARE; RAMSEY AND SFC BACON ARE SLEEPING TOGETHER. SGT SIREK HAS PLANS TO TAKE NIETO AS HIS APPRENTICE AND PADIWAN LEARNER OF THE DARK SIDE. LITTLE BLACK ARNOLD IS MILITARY INTELLIGENCE FOR SPECIAL FORCES OPERATING UNDER COVER A SURVEILLENCE AS PART OF

*the rest of the page is blank*

IM BACK. TODAY IS THE 27th. I GOT BACK TO THE LITTLE CAMP AREA ABOUT AN HOUR AND A HALF AGO. I LEFT YESTERDAY MORNING TO, WELL, AS PART OF DE-CON (DE-CONTAMINATION) MISSION. HERES THE INFORMATION THAT I GATHERED.

A SITE HAD BEEN FOUND THAT WAS THOUGHT TO HAVE CHEMICAL WEAPONS AND 1-10 WAS APPOINTED TO GO TO THE SITE AND DE-CON THE CIVILIANS THAT WERE GOING TO OPEN THEM. AS IT TURNS OUT THE CIVILIANS HAVE BEEN DE-LAYED AND WOULD BE SET BACK 1 DAY.

THE NBC TEAM THAT I WAS WITH WERENT PREPARED TO STAY OVER NIGHT AND AS FORCASTED BY SSG MINOR WE MIGHT HAVE HAD TO STAY 3 TO 4 DAYS. EVERYBODY WAS PISSED.

LATELY ITS BEEN GETTING REALLY COLD AT NIGHT AND WE JUST HAPPENED TO BE NEAR A RUNNING RIVER. SO THE, ITS ABOUT 9 O’CLOCK AND IM BEAT, NO SLEEPING BAG OR ANYTHING TO COVER UP WITH AND I DECIDE TO TRY AND SLEEP. I GET AS COMFORTABLE AS POSSIBLE AND I GET ATTACKED BY MOSQUITOS. NOW IM PISSED SO I DECIDED TO JUST TO STAY UP ALL NIGHT. ABOUT 10PM ONE OF THE HEMTT (this might just say “hemi”, I don’t know) FUELERS SHOWS UP AND SGT TORRES SAYS HE HAS EVERYBODYS SLEEPING BAG! THE SITES ABOUT 45 MINS AWAY AND THEY LEFT SOMETIME MID AFTERNOON TO GET OUR SHIT, I HATE THESE PEOPLE.

RIGHT NOW ITS 9:01 PM AND ITS 11:02 AM YOUR TIME. I MISS YOU.

RIGHT NOW IM GOING TO ADDRESS AN ENVELOPE AND HAVE IT READY TO SEND TOMMOROW THE 28th. IM SORRY IF IT SEEMS THAT IM NOT WRITING VERY OFTEN. FOR A WHILE WE COULDN’T. AND NOW THAT IT SEEMS WE MIGHT BE HERE A LITTLE WHILE, THEYVE KEPT ME REALLY BUSY. LET ME ADDRESS THE ENVELOPES (he drew a star here)

ALL DONE. I THOUGHT ABOUT THE HOUSE A LOT TODAY AND YESTERDAY. IM SURE BY THE TIME THIS LETTER REACHES YOU, YOU’LL HAVE EITHER GOTTEN IT OR GAVE IT UP. IM O.K. WITH EITHER DECISION YOUVE MADE.

YOUVE KEPT THIS FAMILY TOGETHER, AND THAT MAKES ME PROUD. YOUR SMART, ATTRACTIVE AND FUNNY. AND YOU DONT TAKE ANY SHIT FROM ANYBODY. I LOVE YOU.

I HOPE THAT OUR DAUGHTER TURNS OUT TO BE LIKE YOU.

I GUESS ILL MAIL THIS TOMORROW, FIRST THING, SO

EVER YOURS

EVER MINE

*my dad signed it with his scribble, and wrote his name under it. under that are hearts and x’s with my mom’s name and then my name under hers.*

#very personal but where the fuck am i gonna put them? you know where i kinda cant lose them?#letters from the guy that was my dad #pt 1 #long post

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backtobackbakubabe · 4 years

Text

I’m Gonna Make This Place Your Home (Part 8)

Bakugo x Reader

words: 3010

Runaway reader finds a home with Bakugo. But will trouble follow?

*****************************************************************************************************

You almost couldn’t see yourself with the amount of tears that were streaming down your cheeks. You saw the look on his face when he realized what you had done.

“NO! Y/n don’t do this!”

He stumbled around with his hands out trying to find you. Desperately swinging his arms around but they found nothing as you were pulled into Puppeteer’s embrace.

“Y/N! PLEASE! It doesn't have to be this way! Please give me my sight back! Please baby listen to me!”

Puppeteer’s grip tightened, “Isn't that adorable... the mighty ground zero.. begging.”

You wiped your tears and lifted your hand out as if to reach for him. You gave him his sight back, or at least you tried. But nothing was happening. “Bakugo I’m trying! But my quirk isn't working! I don't understand. Whats-”

Puppeteer snarled, “Oh come on now Y/n... You’re much smarter than that. I took the liberty of using your quirk for you. I thought I could trust you to do the right thing... apparently not!” He backhanded you across the face all while never letting go of your wrist.

You cried out in pain and Bakugo’s face snapped in your direction. He couldn’t see you but he could hear you. He lunged for you but Puppeteer was quicker. He threw his leg up and kicked Bakugo in the stomach, winding him and sending him to his knees.

You strained against Puppeteer’s hold, “Im so sorry Bakugo! I’m sorry! Please dont-”

Puppeteer cut you off, “I’m a man of my word. No harm will come to you and your friends... but the offer is void should you decide to look for us. I won't be so nice the next time we meet..”

Bakugo growled with rage, “I don’t fucking care what you do to me! I will come after you and I will fucking kill you! YOU FUCKING SHIT STAIN!”

Puppeteer struck Bakugo in the back of the head knocking him out cold as he dragged you out of the office. “Well good luck to you and your over sized ego.”

You tripped over yourself several times as you attempted to keep up with the tall man dragging you through the halls. You could faintly hear as the party was disrupted by what you could assume was the rest of the team. People started to scream and chaos followed. True to his word none of Puppeteers men attempted to fight back. Instead they had all left well before the heros even arrived. Sure they ended up selling out some of their clientele, but a small price to pay to have you back. His reach was long, he would sort all of it out later.

“Would you hurry up you silly girl! Dragging your feet won't help you.” He yanked hard causing you to almost run in order to keep up. He stormed up the stairs dragging you with him, you were sure you would be covered in bruises from his grip. When you finally got to the top he shoved you in the helicopter and shouted at the pilot to leave immediately.

He put on a pair of fancy looking headphones and passed you a pair as well. “I see that my mistake before was treating you more like an animal, like a pet to do my bidding. Things could be different this time around... if you behave.”

********************

Bakugo woke up to someone shaking him and yelling, “Hey man wake up! What happened? Where’s Y/n?”

His eyes snapped open, “Shit Y/n! On the roof! He said he had a helicopter on the roof!” He tried to stand up but his head began to spin.

Kirishima gently pushed his back down, “Hey man you got a nasty looking head injury. I’ve already sent some people to the roof and they didn't find anything...”

Bakugo squeezed his eyes shut to prevent any traitor tears from slipping out and making him look weak in front of the other heros. “Then she’s gone... he took her and they’re gone...”

Kirishima sighed as he took a seat next to his distraught best friend, “Don’t worry man, we found them once and we’ll find them again. Y/n’s earrings have trackers in them. There’s still hope.”

Bakugo didn’t say anything. He just covered his face with his hands and let out a huge sigh. Everyone was smart enough to leave him alone for a while. He got checked out by some medics, and they bandaged his head for him. They advised he go home and get some rest but obviously that wasn't happening. He started to wander the halls of the fortress like house. There were so many rooms.. and a lot of them had bars and locks, much like cells. A chill went down his spine.

He turned a corner and stopped in his tracks... at the end of the hall was a girl. She was dirty and covered in a blanket. She was talking to a police officer and she... she looked like you.

He tried to keep himself from sprinting towards her. He didn’t want to spook her. The closer he got the more of you he saw in her features. Sure this girl looked to be a little taller. Her hair was much lighter than yours. But there was something about her eyes, they looked just like yours.

He approached her and knelt down, “I’m sorry to interrupt but you just... you look like someone I know. Can I talk to you for a minute.”

She nodded and stood up to take a walk with him.

As soon as they were out of earshot she yanked Bakugo into a room and shut the door. Baffled Bakugo pulled his hand from her grip, “Hey! What the hell?”

The strange girl looked him in the eyes, “Listen I don’t have much time to explain. You recognized me because I look like Y/n. Which makes complete sense considering I’m her older sister.” She put a hand up to him to stop him from talking, “I know you have questions but please wait until I’m finished, we're on a time crunch after all.”

He narrowed his eyes, “You have 5 minutes to explain what the fuck is going on and who you are.... we’re on a time crunch after all...”

She smirked and when she was satisfied with his compliance she continued. “My name is Ora. I’m a few years older than her and there’s no way she would remember me. I started showing signs of my quirk young just like she did. And I was sold to Puppeteer just like she was. I’m sure you found out about our parents but what you dont know is our mom works for Puppeteer. Her quirk is emotional manipulation. He finds people's quirks that he likes and he sends her out to basically trick them into loving her, having their children and then delivering them to him. She’s a sick, twisted, bitch.”

Her fists balled up and shook for a few seconds before she let go and continued, “Our dad was an honest man. His quirk was time travel. But he could only go up to 24 hours into the past at a time. He couldn’t move to the future, but he could always come back to the present. It took a lot of out him, so he only used it once a day. Every day he would read the paper, pick someone who died and go back and warn them. Well he ended up messing with Puppeteers affairs and it pissed him off.”

The girl began to pace now as her rant continued, “Puppeteer wanted to kill him but he also wanted his quirk. You see he collects quirks. He can use anyone’s quirk as long as they are alive and he has touched them within the last hour. He controls people like puppets. Hence the name. So he sent my mom after him and when they had me... well I was lucky enough to inherit his quirk. By the time I started showing signs of it though Y/N had already been born but she would have been too young to remember. They came for me and my dad died trying to protect me.”

Bakugo could see pain flash across her eyes. He reached out and put a hand on her shoulder. “I’m really sorry for all the shit you and Y/n have had to endure because of him. I would give anything to kill that fucker with my bare hands.”

Ora just sniffed, “I fucking hate puppeteer but he’s a smart fucker. Every time I try and take him down he’s always one step ahead. He’s been giving me quirk suppressing drugs for years. Keeping me here until he needs me. I can feel them wearing off now and as soon as they do... well I have this idea. It’s crazy and I need your help. I want to go back in time and save my dad. The only thing is.. I’ve never gone that far. Also I need to take you with me... and I've never done that before either...”

Bakugo blinked a few times before he scoffed, “That’s not even a plan! That’s just wishful thinking! We need a real plan... Right now we’re tracking her coordinates through a tracking device we put in her earrings. We are going to find her and I’m going to blow Puppeteers stupid head off his his stupid body. THAT’s a plan.”

Ora crossed her arms over her chest, “That’s the dumbest plan I’ve ever heard. Your plan is more unrealistic than mine. You’ll never get close enough to him. He has so many quirks at his disposal. He uses his goons like chess pieces. He plays with them like a video game. He left me here. So either someone fucked up and forgot to snag me on their way out, or the cocky bastard dosen’t see me as a threat anymore. Either way by now he knows I’m free and he’ll expect me, as I assume he'll expect you. Anything we do has to be very carefully thought out.”

“And you think doing something you’ve never done before in your life is careful thinking? It’s a suicide mission!”

“I think it’s worth a shot.... Look we can try it you way first if it’ll makes you feel better. I need time to recharge anyways. But I’m giving you 24 hours and then I’m doing it with or without you. I would rather you come. I think you're the only one strong and determined enough to take on Puppeteer. But if I have to do it myself I will.”

***************************

Puppeteer in his hurry to get you out didn’t think to check you for any bugs, or tracking devices. Once you were in the helicopter you took off your earrings. One you hid between the seats of the helicopter and the other you swallowed. It hurt like a bitch but you weren't taking any chances. Now all you could do was wait. Puppeteer obviously was keeping you from using your quirk. Hopefully they wouldn't drug you so you could try and reach out to Bakugo later. You were worried though because they weren't even attempting to hide where they were going. It was like Puppeteer wanted you to know. Was he setting a trap? Did he want you to tell Bakugo so he would walk right into the lions den?

Your thought were spiraling out of control and you could feel your breathing start to tighten as an anxiety attack was surely building.

“Relax dear Y/n.. I dont want to sedate you, but if you can't control yourself then I’ll have no choice. Like I said, I want this time to be different. But that’s only if I can trust you. It’s up to you how this plays out from here. You can live comfortably and go back to doing my bidding, or you can call out for help.”

His smirk grew evil as his heavy glare landed on you, “I have no problem killing your little boyfriend. And your punishment won't be pleasant either. I just need you alive to use your quirk... I dont need you awake. I could turn you into a comatose vegetable of a human and keep you strapped to a bed. Ready for me to come use your quirk as I wish. So if I were you... I’d think long and hard about what you do next.”

Your stomach dropped and you wanted to throw up. This man truly was evil.

***************************

Bakugo got Ora some clean clothes and brought her to meet the others. Kirishima was looking at a screen and rubbing his neck. “Hey man, so I got some good new and some bad news. Good news is the tracking devices are still working.... bad news is they aren't in the same location.”

Bakugo narrowed his eyes, “What? What do you mean?”

Kirishima turned the screen towards him and pointed at the two blinking red dots. “Both the earrings had trackers in them. It looks like one of them is on the move, and moving pretty quickly. The other has been at the same coordinates for about half an hour.”

Bakugo stared at the blinking dots. One of those dots was you. “So what do we do? How do we figure out which one’s her?”

Kirishima sighed, “It could honesty be either. There’s no way to know for sure. Either she’s the moving one and the other one was dropped and left behind. Or she's the stationary one and the other one is decoy. Our only option is to split up and check out both coordinates.”

“No...” Ora stepped up, “If you plan to take them on you need a united front. You cant afford to split up.”

Kirishima looked back and forth between Ora and Bakugo, “Who’s your friend?”

Bakugo rolled his eyes, “Long story, she’s Y/n’s sister and she's here to help. Ora this is Kirishima, he’s my partner.”

“And best friend, he always leaves that part out...”

Bakugo growled, “Now isn't the time for jokes shitty hair..”

Kirishima softened, “Right. Sorry. So do you think there’s any chance Y/N might be able to contact you tonight? It’d be the easiest way to narrow down with one of these dots is her.”

Bakugo shrugged, “I wouldn’t say it’s likely, but she did say that last time she found a way to fight through the drugs to reach out to me. Maybe she could do it again.”

Kirishima nodded, “Let’s hope so. I say we take the night to regroup and make a plan. You need to go to sleep and see if she reaches out. We’ll make our final decisions in the morning.”

As soon as Kirishima walked away Ora nudged Bakugo, “You know this is a stupid plan right? We’re waisting time. There’s no way Puppeteer would let her give away their location.”

Bakugo grunted, “Listen we just met like an hour ago and all you’ve done is annoy the shit out of me and question my intelligence. If you weren’t Y/n’s sister I would have told you to fuck off already. Now lets go get a hotel room and get some sleep. You may think it’s a long shot but I want to be ready in case your strong, more than capable, bad ass sister, finds a way to reach me.”

Ora’s eyes remained fixed on Bakugo’s like she was an adult talking to a stubborn child. “Whatever you say, but when I said 24 hours I meant 24 hours. You have until tomorrow afternoon. Let’s go.”

They entered the hotel room and Ora immediately flopped on one of the beds and picked up the remote to the tv. Bakugo took a seat on the end of his own bead and cleared his thought, “Not to sound mean or anything but... how are you so normal?”

Ora put down the remote and gave him a weird look, “What do you mean how am I normal?”

Bakugo blushed a little, “Well I mean you and Y/N went through the same thing but when she found me... well it was like she had been shut in a room her whole life. You just seem like, I don’t know... normal.”

Realization flashed in Ora’s eyes, “Oh... Well from what I understand when Y/n got out it was the first and only time she had ever escaped. I on the other hand escaped a lot. I would be out for months sometimes before they’d find me and drag me back. My escaping so much is probably what made it so hard for Y/n.”

Bakugo nodded sadly, “Okay one more question and then I’ll leave you alone and go to bed.... When you saw me today.. you immediately knew who I was and already had a plan ,if that's even what you want to call it, that included me.... how?”

Ora threw her head back on her pillow. “I've never told anyone this so this stays between us... I may not be able to time travel to the future... but sometimes in my dreams I can see it. Its hard to tell though because sometimes they come to pass and sometimes they were just dreams. They helped me escape several times when I was younger. The only thing about you is... Well I had a dream once years ago. I had no idea who you were then but there you were. We were back to the day my dad died and everything went to shit. I don’t know what happens, but I know its possible for us to get there. I tired finding you every time I got out. Once I did.. but you were at UA then and I was too scared to tell you. Time is a very sensitive thing. You cant meddle with it too much. Things need to happen as naturally as they can. So years later Y/N found you and now here we are. It’s fait.”

Bakugo’s head was spinning. This girl had unloaded so much on him today. He didn’t think he could take anymore or he would explode. “Thank’s for being honest with me, and thank you for at least trying to do things my way. If the time comes and we need plan B. I won't fight you on it.”

Ora sighed in relief, “Thank you Bakugo... honestly.” A tear slipped out the corner of her eye, “The thought of getting my dad back and having my life go back to normal... its all I’ve ever wanted. For Y/n as well...”

Bakugo just nodded, too emotional to respond. He turned over and closed his eyes. Please Y/n... please be there waiting for me.

************************

You tossed and turned in you comfortable bed. You were exhausted but you were terrified to fall asleep. Puppeteer had been so nice to you so far. Giving you clean clothes, feeding you, you even had a nice room with a huge bed. All he asked for in return was your cooperation. Would it be so bad? If it meant Bakugo lived...

You couldn't stay awake forever and as soon as you fell asleep you felt your dreams morph into something else. All the sudden there he was, Bakugo. He ran to you and wrapped he arms around you. You hadn't done this. You hadn't brought him here. That could only mean Puppeteer did this. Not only was he letting you reach out to Bakugo, he was forcing you to... He was testing you.

“Y/n! Shit are you okay? Are you hurt? Where are you?” He held your face in between his hands and rubbed his thumb over your cheek. “We may not have much time so I need you to help me out here. Your earrings. They had trackers in them but they went in two different directions. One stopped and the other kept moving. Which one is you?!”

You gulped. This is it. You had to make a decision. Tell him where you are and risk ruining everything... or lie and save his life. You leaned forward and planted a passionate kiss on his lips. “I’m the one that kept moving. Puppeteer found the first one and threw it from the helicopter. The second one I swallowed.”

Bakugo kissed your forehead, “You’re a fucking genius! I’m going to find you I swear!”

A tear slipped down your cheek, “I love you...”

Bakugo wiped away the tear quickly, “Hey dont say it like that. Like this is goodbye. I love you too Y/n and it’s because I love you that I won't rest until I get you back. I have help. I found your s-”

A loud clapping noise rang out in the dream.

Bakugo looked around, “What’s that?”

You shook your head, “Sorry Bakugo. Somethings waking me up.”

You gripped you tighter, “No wait!”

You sat up straight in you bed to find Puppeteer sitting in the dark corner of your bedroom clapping. “Well my dear. It seems you passed my little test and gave him the wrong coordinates. It’s a shame though... you still betrayed my trust by swallowing that tracking device...

****************************

Bakugo bolted upright breathing heavy and sweating. Ora rubbed her eyes as she turned on the bedside lamp. “What happened? Did you see her?”

He nodded, “Yeah...”

“Did you ask where she was?”

Again he nodded, looking angry this time, “Yeah.... and I think she lied to me.”

**************************

Taglist: @carolinawindsay @targaryens-blog @fukyouthink @malibusurfer56 @theoneforallkiddeku @opentheskeletonkey @1000fandoms @emmyljo @watermelone98 @ilikeanimeandbands @joonishantics @-hiddlesdweeb- @crimson846 @emotions-and-potions @tokoyamis-luv @itsmetsuki @tinymatwrote @nobodyw8s4evr

#bakugo #bakugo katsuki #Katsuki Bakugō #bhna bakugou #bakugo x reader #bnha #bnha fanfiction #bnha imagines #bnha x reader #bnha bakugo katsuki #bakugo x y/n #bakugo imagine #mha #mha imagines #mha bakugou #mha x reader #my hero academia

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expression-in-its-essence · 4 years

Text

The Goldfinch movie.

7 min 26 secs in : Why the fuck did they start the movie like that. Why didn't the explosion take place? Theo's mom's apartment? His anxiety? Also.. why do they keep cutting the scenes abruptly? They ain't tweets... No limit.. then??

8 min 2 sec in : Okay they went to the apartment. Audrey's sweater deserved more screen time. The lipstain on the mug in focus *chef's kiss* poetic cinema!

9 min 19 sec in : Do you see what I see? Tom Cable's face has a stark resemblance to Boris's face. Did Theo have a crush on him?

9 min 54 sec in : Mr Barbour's hand is shaking. I like that they put it in there. He was sick. Nice. (I'd imagined Audrey's apartment building entrance like they showed the Barbour's apartment building entrance. Wild.)

11 min 8 sec in : Don't shove it into his face that y'all are fancy okay? He's not used to that life style. He didn't have maids making his bed. ARE YOU GIVING HIM DRUGS, MRS BARBOUR? But you just glared at your husband for offering him the same sort of thing?? Oh God. Poor child. "it's perfectly understandable" my ass. You gave him meds just because your sleep was getting affected.

14 min 39 sec : Woah woah woah Theo wtf you're so smol how'd you do that? Also... Again. The frame of Theo and Tom standing close and Theo and Boris standing close when they kissed, Theo is wearing the same damn sweater.

16 min 58 sec in : Ayyyy Jeffery Wright!

20 min 33 sec in : "He drank a lot", Theo about his dad. Honey just wait up, you will too. (The grilled sandwich and the cute lil smile 😍 also this is the first time since the movie started that Oakes' voice isn't deep.)

23 min 54 sec in : Wizard of Oz poster, I see you!

24 min 19 sec in : I love how Oakes is expressing being caught off guard. Theo knows he did something bad and every time he's dealing with something he didn't expect to deal with, he's like OMG THEY KNOW ABOUT THE PAINTING AND IM FUCKED even if no one knows.

25 min 1 sec in : The glasses made a difference. He went from mature to cute. Angry bird to angry birb.

25 min 44 sec in : Another sweater? Or was this THE sweater of Audrey? (Off topic but Oakes is hella cute. I could murder anyone who hurts him.)

29 min 9 sec in : Pippa doesn't remember or doesn't wanna remember? There was something in her eyes that was hard to read. Also, why doesn't anyone say 'I'm sorry about your mom' to Theo? Do Americans not care? It's weird to see no response when he tells people that Audrey is dead.

31 min 17 sec in : "The Goldfinch, destroyed"? Then why is Theo upset. Good riddance. Oh yeah. I know why. It's Donna Tartt we're talking about.

32 min 39 sec in : Hobie just casually predicting the future. "It's only fake if you pass it on as an original". Theo's like, "noted, gonna do exactly that".

34 min 16 sec in : Why does Theo write like a five year old child? That's toddler handwriting! And omg all the Andy-prom-dress memes are making sense now. (Also did I mention that Mrs Barbour seems more selfish in the film than she does in the book. Like hey I'm putting up with this kid because he helps my kid. He's serving a purpose for me. What the hell.) (How old is Andy anyway? He looks younger than Theo. I think he's different. Didn't grow up like other kids. That was mentioned in the book right?)

35 min 20 sec in : Ayyy Hobie's earring!

35 min 49 sec in : He shopped for himself? Nice! Didn't know kids could shop without adult supervision in the West. (Because they can't in the East.)

35 min 50 sec in : Ayyyy Sarah Paulson! Damn she's hot. How can you dislike her? *heart eyes*

37 min 30 sec in : I can't bring myself to hate Luke Wilson since Skeleton Twins but SHUT THE FUCK UP LARRY! AUDREY DESERVED BETTER. Look at how Larry and Xandra are looking at the place like they're vultures.

39 min 34 sec : They got the airport scene right. STOP GIVING HIM DRUGS WTH IS WRONG WITH THE ADULTS IN THIS MOVIE!

41 min 12 sec in : Ayyy Popper!!!!!

43 min 27 sec in : It just dawned on Theo that he's alone. Oh god. My poor baby.

45 min 12 sec in : Let me take this moment to say that Ashleigh Cummings is pretty. And I finally get why y'all were pissed at the non linear storyline and the weird voiceovers. Guess I'd been prepared for that so it didn't really suck that much.

49 min 30 sec in : I'd imagined Boreo reunion like the Platt Theo reunion. In the day. Dang it. Also... Adult Platt Barbour was not supposed to be good looking? In the book?

55 min 34 sec in : Without context, none of it could make sense. Apologies to whoever didn't read the book beforehand. Crowley fucked this up.

58 min in : Ayyyy Finn Wolfhard! BORIS IS HERE AND IM SO EXCITED IDK WHY

1 hour in : It's such a Boris thing to leave the bag unzipped.

1 hour 3 min 20 sec in : Slumdog Millionaire's Jai Ho (2008) is playing in the background. The only song that I've recognized so far. Wow. Lets me know about the time setting. Nice.

1 hr 3 min in : Someone gif " That cost twenty dollars!" *Stare* "That would have cost twenty dollars!"

1 hr 8 min in : So Boris's room is exactly like I had imagined but Theo's room isn't. Boris just mentioned Kotku though.

1 hr 9 min 14 sec in : Isn't it hella hot in Vegas? Why are they wearing sweaters? Or does drug intake make you more vulnerable to the environment?

1 hr 10 min 15 sec in : Xandra Theo argument : gold. "Cocktail sausages that you like." I wanna laugh in Crowley's face. What was he thinking?? Omg I'm dying.

1 hr 11 min 17 sec in : The slap sound didn't work??

1 hr 13 min 53 sec in : I like serious Boris better.

1 hr 14 min in : The slum house Audrey dream thing was not in the book. That's an entirely new addition.

1 hr 18 min 26 sec in : The Welty Theo scene is awesome. The sound effects work. I feel suffocated. The ambulance noise fiasco is also nicely pulled off. (also Theo's Yellow bag was dirty af then how did it get all clean when he didn't even do anything to it?)

1 hr 20 min 57 sec in : Shhhh Potter.

1 hr 22 min in : Holy shit he got slapped twice!! Ouch! And Larry's audacity to tell Theo to stop with the crying?? Good thing he died. Asshole.

1 hr 25 min in : "You don't tell me a lot of things but that's okay". I see what you did there, Boris. Which was of course, I love you.

1 hr 26 min in : "Act normal" - Theo knows his way around drugs pretty well, doesn't he?

1 hr 30 min in : "No family No friends" line punched me in the face. (Also awww popchik's excuse was the last resort for Boris to make Theo stay.)

1 hr 31 min 17 sec in : That pause after "What do you have to tell me?". You can clearly see Boris struggling to hold something back. Which was of course, I love you.

1 hr 31 min 34 sec in : What the fuck is that music? Oh heyyyyyy they kissed!-- he fucking runs away?? Also what kind of a kangaroo runs like that? (Yes, the taxi driver watched. I don't have to wonder anymore.) (They didn't address why he took the bus instead of flying?)

1 hr 33 min in : I didn't imagine Welty's room like that at all. Also why doesn't Hobie seem happy to see Theo again?

1 hr 35 min in : Longer stretches of one storyline are kinda bearable. From drugs in storage unit to waking up beside Kitsey. We got Vegas and Young Theo. Nice. (Also, who the heck puts jewelry in shoes? Is Theo that dumb? And now I can't think of anything else than Boris piercing his ear for the emerald earring. Tumblr has fucked it up bad.)

1 hr 43 min in : They nailed the Kitsey Theo confrontation.

1 hr 44 min in : Ayyy Ozma of Oz!

1 hr 48 min in : I noticed it before but I wasn't sure... Now I am. Pippa has Welty's ring. On her finger. At all times. (also, is NYC always that noisy? Must suck to walk on the roads.)

1 hr 52 min 23 sec in : They nailed the Theo Pippa date. What's that song playing in the background? I want the name. It's almost like two hours and I still haven't seen Aneurin Barnard once. Why! (Jerome's mentioned in the movie btw.)

1 hr 52 min 51 sec in : Complained too soon. Boris is sat in the dark doing god knows what. My man Aneurin is here!

1 hr 53 min 37 sec in : BOREO REUNIONNNNNN - no don't look at me like that I only watched it thrice.

1 hr 56 min in : Boris saying "it's someone else" with a knowing look and Theo looking at him. The frickin yearning.

1 hr 57 min in : Boris is like you're unhappy, I'm here, we're both rich, let's f*ck. "We could"... What are you suggesting dude he's repressed!

1 hr 58 min in : "you unwrapped it and showed it to me." So many meanings. The heart, the love the soul... Wow. Good for you, screen play writers! ( It's kinda hilarious how Boris got mad at Theo for never quote unquote fucking opening it.)

2 hr 1 min in : I'm calling it. They're going to fuck up the Theo Hobie confrontation. They put it on the wrong time. And they also fucked up the text from the book.

2 hr 5 min 48 sec in : Even Platt is saving his sister's face. Also where did Todd go? Did he never grow up? I wish Mrs Barbour didn't use Theo like she did.

2 hr 7 min in : The frame where Boris is between Kitsey and Theo. Chef's kiss.

2 hr 10 min 54 sec in : *intense music playing* Boris put his leg up on the table and I burst into laughter THOSE ARE THE FAMOUS FUCK ME PUMPS.

2 hr 11 min in : AAAAA THE FOREHEAD TOUCH AAAAAAA (Theo just knows without looking that Boris is close enough to touch? Theo are you sure you don't feel feelings for him?)

2 hr 12 min in : Theo is so worried that I'm not sure if it's for Boris or for losing the painting again. Omg he just murdered a man. Oh god.

2 hr 14 min in : Theo is spiralling. In the movie they imply that Hobie played a part in him attempting suicide. So wrong. Poor Hobie. In the book that wasn't the case.

2 hr 15 min in : The transition of the Goldfinch into Audrey, wow. Also, is it the first time we're seeing her? The movie started so long ago that I've forgotten if I saw Theo and Audrey in the museum. Boris following right after Audrey? That's a subliminal message. Boris is here to rescue y'all.

2 hr 16 min in : No shit Boris is freaking out right now.

2 hr 17 min in : The diner scene. They're both crying. "Happy Christmas, Potter" - which was of course, I love you.

2 hr 18 min in : No don't you dare compare Audrey and Mrs Barbour. Audrey would never drug her child or use him for her benefit.

2 hr 20 min in : Poor kid bumps into his mom lol. I found it funny.

On the whole

The movie was nice if you'd read the book beforehand. The first hour was steak, The second hour was Korean BBQ and the rest of the twenty minutes were minced beef. If you get what I mean. Weird analogy. It could have been much better. But it was really very nice in some places. Most places I'd say.

I didn't like how the pop songs ruined the mood of certain moments. I didn't like how you couldn't hear the conversation over the music playing. For example in the engagement party when Platt and Theo talked. Or in the diner scene.

Both Borises killed the accent thing. They tried their best. Cut them some slack.

Oakes deserves an Oscar for holding up this movie on his smol shoulders. I was shook at how a kid could act that well.

Popchik deserved more screen time. I'm still pissed they didn't add the Popchik Boris reunion. But then they couldn't make it chronological, what were we supposed to expect anyway.

Ansel Elgort y'all. Theo sure improved his handwriting lol. Ansel's writing is nice. He was actually good in this movie. Better than he was in The Fault In Our Stars. The internet is just mean. The critics too. I will never understand the hate.

All in all, it could have been a better adaptation but it didn't suck as bad as everyone made it out to be. John Clownery should be punished nonetheless. Special shout-out to Roger Deakins for making it work.

#donna tartt #theo decker #boris pavlikovsky #finn wolfhard #oakes fegley #ansel elgort #aneurin barnard #the goldfinch #boreo

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is-this-space · 4 years

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My Time in a Psych Ward (TW: suicide and depression

So just before the start of the school year I was admitted to a psych ward because I was very depressed and suicidal. I’d like to share with you a little about my time there.

First I think I’ll descibe the ward a bit. We were each assigned a room with three beds that we shared with two other patients (shoutout to my roomies cause they were cool as fuck). We did not spend much time in these rooms, really we just slept there. We spent the most time in the dayroom, it was about the size of a small classroom with one window in the back that looked out into the small enclossed outside area we were allowed to visit occasionally and a wall of windows next to the door so the nurses could watch us. There were four tables ad four chairs to each table. The chairs were clunky and uncomfortable. There was also a desk were our staff member sat (they hid snacks and the tv remote in there). The TV was in a box to keep us fom breaking it. We were provided apples, saltine crackers and gram crackers in paper bags in the back corner of the day room (by the end of my stay my group had devoured every last saltine on the unit). Across from the door of the dayroom was the nursess desk and behind the desk was a meeting room of sorts for the nurses. They kept all our files, and more importantly additional snacks, behind the desk. on the wall across from the desk were four wall phones (same vibe as prison phones in movies) that we were allowed to use occasionally. Outside of the unit there was a cafeteria and a gym, which we went to throughout the day.

Now I think I’ll go over the schedule, in the morning you had to wake up a 5 to take showers. We were given small portions of body wash and shampoo (unless you had your family bring some for you). Everyone was required to be up and n the dayroom by 7 am. 8:00 we went to the cafe to get breakfast, this took about 30 minutes. When we came back we did our morning goals which was basically asking how you are feeling (suicidal, depressed, happy, etc.) and if you had any goals for the day. At 9:30 they gaves us our meds and took our vitals (temp and heartrate). We either had a social or rec therapy group or phones just before lunch at 11. Then till about two we had more groups or free time. During free time we would usually stay and watch a tv show of some kind or go outside. We did not go to the gym often because the boys were almost always using it. At 3 we would clean up the room and at 3:30 the sstaff changed. 4:00 was dinner then when we got back we went over goals. Then we would have a phone time and free time until 8;30 when we got our nightly meds (my second day there they increased my antidepressants by like 200% so i spen the first 2 or 3 days completely slumped, sleeplng for most of the day, which wass nice cause the day is very long when you are fully conscious). One night we were not given our meds til about 9;30-10 (which really pissed of the nurses because we were supossed to be IN BED by 9) and then we went to bed at 9.

Overall the nurses were very nice except for one that i think got a kick outta telling ppl what to do, but we talked shit about her to the other nurses so we didnt really keep our hatred a secret. Unfortunaley, the ward is fairly understaffed so i witnessed some nurses stay for more than 16 hours some days. This pissed me off cause they were all so nice and by the end of the day you could tell they were so tired.

At the end of the day im glad i went because it gave me a second chance to live but the best part hands down is all the stories i have to tell about it.

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leelee10898 · 5 years

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Fast cars & Freedom: Finally home (16/16)

Here it is... the final chapter had arrived. Thank you everyone for riding along with me on this. My first attempt at ROD, althought we may be closing out this, it doesnt mean we have seen the last of this gang. I have some one shots and possibly a mini planned in the future!

I want to give a few special shot outs @riseandshinelittleblossom for pushing me to do this. @brightpinkpeppercorn for putting up with my crazy venting self!! And also the babies first name! @choicesarehard for her amazing edits and @desiree-0816 for being the biggest cheerleader.

Pairing: Colt x Ellie, mpc crew and friends.

Rating: fluff

This song I picked because it sums up Colt in a nutshell.. also its from one of my favorite movies, and gave me slight inspiration.

Ellie sat slouched back on the couch indian style, amazed she could even get her feet to bend that way. Any Day now she sighed, her hand rested on her swollen belly. She was huge this time around, much bigger than with Luca, her feet were swollen and she couldn't fall asleep without a back rub. "Well she's asleep, finally." She smiled at the shirtless man in front of her as he laid on the couch, his head resting in her lap. "How many books did it take?" She giggled as she ran her fingers through his dark locks. "Only two tonight. guess the rehearsal dinner wore her out." A sudden jolt against her stomach collided against the side of his head.

He turned facing her stomach, one hand on the side "Hello in there. You can come out now, daddy can't wait to meet you." He spoke to her stomach, placing a soft kiss against her bare skin. Ellie smiled looking down at him, the sight completely melting her heart. The baby always reacted hearing Colts voice prompting a dance party usually. They weren't sure what the sex was, both wanting to let it be a surprise. If someone had of told her almost a year ago that this would be her life, she would have laughed. Yet here she was married to Colt, raising their daughter together with another on the way, living next to the beach and ridiculously happy. Any time now she whispered again. "We should probably get to bed, big day tomorrow." Colt stood, kissing her forehead. "Mmhmm." She practically hummed. She had been having Braxton hicks contractions the past few days, on top of the swelling and the last minute preparations for her dad's wedding, she was exhausted.

"You ok baby?" Colt looked at her concerned. "Yeah, just these braxton hicks again. Help me up?" She held her hand out as Colt carefully helped her off the couch. They made their way up the stairs slowly, Ellie in some pain, but she hid it from Colt. Her dad was getting Married tomorrow and she was not missing it. She knew Colt would take it as a sign she was in labor, and rush her to the hospital. The doctor and Ingrid both told her that the Braxton hicks contractions were going to be felt more intense the end time around, and she was positive that's what it was, besides she was almost 2 weeks late with Luca, her due date was a week away.

They laid in bed, colt started at her feet, then her stomach, shoulders and then her back. He had been amazing throughout the whole pregnancy, never missed an appointment or ultrasound, always attentive, took every mood swing and craving in stride, and he massaged her swollen, achy body every night. He was an amazing Husband and Father, Ellie thanked god and Logan every chance she got, that they talked her out of going through with the divorce. Sure he was a smart ass, and stubborn to boot, but he was always there for her, had her back and supported her no matter what and he genuinely cherished every moment he spent with them.

The past 8 months have been such an amazing time for them. Colt and Luca were like two peas in a pod. They witty banter between the two kept Ellie in stitches and on her toes. They had drove to Lake Tahoe to see Colts mother, who apologized profusely for stepping in and causing problems. Ellie and Colt both accepted and they had an amazing relationship. She had pulled out all of Colts photos growing up to show Ellie and Luca. Ellie forming the conclusion that Luca indeed looked just like Colt as a baby. If she had of seen those pictures before the plate test, she was certain that she would have known instantly.

Darcy and Colt spoiled the hell out of her, Darcy ecstatic to have a granddaughter and equally happy to have another little one coming. She literally pissed her pants when she went to open the back door one day and was greeted by a small pony. Of course Colt bought her the damn pony, she knew he would. She had to double check that, neither He nor Toby stole said pony, old habits and all. So yes, everything and everyone was amazing and blissful.

Ellie shot out of bed with a sharp pain to the abdomen. She let out a low, dull sounding moan shit that one hurt. She waddled to the bathroom and got into a warm shower, relaxing her immediately. After her shower she waddled naked back to the bed. Colt rolled over, rubbing her stomach. "You ok?"

"Yeah, just uncomfortable. Lets try and get some more rest, big day ahead of us." She tried to assure him, hoping he bought it.

A few hours later they were up, and out of the house. Colt had bought a minivan for Ellie, although he drove it more then she did. He had his and ellies hospital bags packed and in the van, along with the car seat installed and the diaper bag ready to go. Colt played no games when it came to being prepared for this baby, he could not even wait. They had a quick breakfast with Frank, sally, Logan and Stacie before the girls were separated and taken for hair and makeup. Ellie was Sallys maid of honor, Stacie a bridesmaid. Ellie sat in the chair, taking deep breaths, stacie looked over at her "You ok?" Ellie gave her a quick yes, but she knew Stacie didn't buy it. Once Sally stepped into the changing room Ellie tried to walk over to the couch, but a strong pain hit her like a brick. She doubled over and Stacie was on her. "You're in labor aren't you?" Ellie gave her a pleading look. "I don't know. I don't want to ruin my dads wedding. Just let me get through the ceremony. Please don't say anything especially to my husband." She paused looking down at Stacies slight bump "or I'll tell Logan its a boy."

"Fine! But you know he doesn't want to know yet. Stacie snapped.

Sally walked out the girls dropped their conversation. "Sally, you look so beautiful. Dad's going to cry." Ellie teared up. "Really Sally, you look so beautiful." Stacie confirmed. Just then they heard a knock on the door. "Knock knock. I came to collect a bride." Logan popped in, his eyes settling on his mother. It was an odd, yet great feeling to see his mom getting married. Logan grew up without any one, and in such a short time he gained an entire family and was starting his own. The photographer came in to take pictures, first of Sally alone. Ellie hunched over again, this time Logan seeing it. "Ellie, you ok?" She looked up at him, trying her best to lie "oooh yeah. This one just kicked me, hard." He gave her an unbelieving look, before setting his gaze on stacie. "Colts kid." She offered up.

They finished taking pictures, Logan walked his mom down the aisle to a teary eyed Frank. Ellie was right, her father cried, and so did Sally, Ellie, Stacie and Riya. Colt and Logan served as Franks groomsmen. They made their way to the reception Colt and Luca sitting next to Ellie who was taking deep breaths. "Ellie, what's wrong?" He asked concerned. "Nothing. Im fine, just standing too long." She lied.

"Maybe we should go to the -" Ellie cut him off.

"No Colt! We are not going to the hospital and ruin my dads wedding for nothing. So please lets just enjoy the day ok?"

She knew it may be a good idea to go, the contractions were stronger, closer together then they had been. Still she wanted to be there for her dad.

The reception in full swing, Luca dancing up a storm, she was the life of the party. They followed through with the motions, wedding party dances, dinner that Ellie barely touched. She sat at the table, shoes off and extremely uncomfortable. Colt crossed the room standing before her "Dance with me Mrs Kaneko?" He gave her a devilish smirk that made her heart soar. "Of course. But only because you look incredibly sexy right now." She took his hand and joined him on the dance floor. The swayed together as close as they could possibly get, before Ellie stopped abruptly. Colt slipped a little "Shit, be careful El. I think someone spilled something." He said looking down at the puddle by their feet. "My water. My water broke." She looked up at him, wide eyed. "Your. Oh shit." He looked around for help, he had no idea what to do in that moment.

Ellie doubled over, a wave of extremely strong contradictions hitting her hard. "Ok, just breathe El. Were gonna get to the hospital." Colt looked up, seeing Logan "Logan, I need your help." Logan, noticing the panicked look on his face rushed over. "The baby's coming. I need your car." Colt told him, Logans car was much faster than the minivan. Ellie let out a painful moan, getting the attention of pretty much the entire room. Logan tossed him the keys, colt giving him the keys to their van. "Mom, can you keep Luca for us?" Colt looked towards his mother. "Of course. We will be up soon. Good luck you two." Darcy gave them each a quick kiss and hug.

"What's going on?" Frank came up, concerned. "Babys coming. We gotta get to the hospital." Colt filled him in as he ushered Ellie towards the exit. "I'm coming with you guys." Frank insisted. "No daddy. Finish the wedding, please." She groaned out. "Ellie I-"

"No. You have fun. Come up after ok." She cut him off. "I love you Eliana."

"Wait for me. I'm coming with you guys." Riya insisted. Colt nodded and off they went.

Colt speed to the hospital, they rushed inside and were whisked away to a room. Riya called the doctor ahead to inform him that Ellie's water had broken and she was on the way to the hospital. "Hi mrs Kaneko. Im kelly, I'll be your nurse. Dr Coulson will be here soon." The short blonde woman said, taking her blood pressure and hooking her up to monitors. Another contraction hit her hard "oooooh god." She screamed out as colt grabbed her hand "breathe El." He tried calming her as she firmly gripped his hand. "Ok. Your contractions are consistent, lets see what progress you've made." She checked dilation and station. "Oh wow, your at 8 hun. And the baby is low. Let me try and get the doctor on the phone." Kelly stood, quickly exiting the room another contraction hit hard and she almost jumped off the table. "Whoa Ellie." He steadied her. "It hurts. Fuck!" She hollered. "I know baby. Your doing so good. What did you do with Luca to ease the pain?" He asked. "I had an epidural. This fucking hurts." Finally the dr walked in.

"Hello Ellie, colt. Ready to have a baby?" Dr Coulson smiled. "Beyond ready doc." Colt beamed. Ellie nodded, sweaty and heavy breathing. "Yeah, pressure, lots of pressure. can I get something for the, ooooh pain?"

"Well. You were at 8 a little bit ago. Let's see where your at now." The dr checked her, shaking his head. "Well, this baby is ready to come out. Your at 10."

Everything happened fast, Colt stood there at Ellie's side gripping her hand as she put her feet in the stirrups. He could feel the adrenaline kicking in, like he was just about to race. "Ok Ellie, with the next contraction i'm going to need you to push." Dr Coulson ordered.

Ellie beared down and pushed hard, Once, twice. Colt was amazed as he watched the woman he loved bring the life they created into the world. The baby's black full head of hair first, another big push and the baby was all the way out. "You did it El. Our baby is here." He sobbed as they heard their child's healthy set of lungs. "Its a boy." Dr Coulson announced. "We have a son Colt." Ellie sniffled. They cleaned him up and placed him in Ellies chest. "He's beautiful." Colt showered her in kisses. The nurse snapped a few photos for them before he was taken to the warmer and weighed and measured. He was 8lbs 6oz 21 ½ inches, had a head full of jet black hair and looked exactly like a scrunched up version of Colt.

They nurse brought him back over, placing him in Ellies arms. Colt sat on the bed next to his wife and son, Ellie looked up at his blissful face she knew exactly what he needed. "Here you go daddy." Ellie said as she handed him off. Colt took the tiny person in his arms,he looked down at his son, a sense of pride washing over him. He had texted his mom after they were given the ok for visitors, a short while later Darcy walked in with a shy Luca. An odd sight if they ever saw one, the once outspoken, opinionated 6 year old was now cowering behind her grandmother.

"Hey princess. You want to come meet your baby brother?" Colt beamed at his daughter. She nodded her head hurrying over as colt squatted down to her level. "He's so tiny." Her small voice almost a whisper. Darcy came over to hug Ellie before taking a glance at her new grandson. "He looks just like you did as a baby." Colt looked up and smiled. "So, we got a name for this little guy?" Darcy eyes the two. "We do." Ellie spoke, "but we're waiting to tell everyone when they get here."

They didn't have to wait long, the room filled with all of their family and friends. Barley anyroom to stand, they all crowded around the sweet little bundle of joy. Another momento of the love they shared, and someone to share the over abundance of aunts and uncles they had. Colt sat next to Ellie as she held their son, Luca on the other side. Everyone snapping pictures of the happy family in front of them. "Ok everybody, Colt and I would like to formally introduce you all to our son." She smiled as she looked to Colt. "Everyone, meet Cade Teppei Kaneko."

They chose to name him after Colts dad, who they were sure was looking down on them. He wasn't there for Colt, but Colt was sure he would have been for his Children. Ellie may have started out as someone the crew used for information, but in a short time she changed them all, for the better. Colt stood back, looking at the group of people in front of him. The motto of the crew was always look out for yourself, somehow along the way they became a family. Ellie came into his life like a hurricane and turned his world around. He once told her she was his queen, that they would run the city together but these days he was thinking bigger. She was his queen, but not of the city, she was queen of the world, his world.

He closed his eyes, envisioning his father. "Life is good pop. And it's only going to get better."

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@kennaxval @hopefulmoonobject @crookedslimecreatorpasta @be-still-my-aching-heart @ao719 @speedyoperarascalparty @riseandshinelittleblossom @cocomaxley @bobasheebaby @ownworldresident @cordoniaqueensworld @indiacater @blackcatkita @darley1101 @hazah

ROD

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@simsvetements @zaffrenotes @professorortegasstudent

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@littlemissimaginativerhi

#ride or die bad boy romance #choices ride or die #choices ride or die: a bad boy romance #fast cars and freedom rod au #leelee10898 fan fic #i love colt kaneko #colt x ellie #colt kaneko

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dixonious · 5 years

Text

She's My Lover.

Summary: Tristian had been pestering Y/N pretty much ever since she and her groups' arriving at Alexandria, he just won't take the hint that she isn't interested. And one night Y/N has had enough.

Warning: swearing, fluff, and possible, grammatical errors. :)

You had been reading a book while sitting on the front porch of the house you were sharing with some of the people from your group. Having had been out all day hunting with Daryl, it had been an extremely long and tiring day. As soon as you walked through the gates of Alexandria, and reached your home, you collapsed right there on the steps. You had been in the same spot for about two hours now, and it was already nightfall.

It was hard being here, in this new place, with all these new people. You pretty much thrown yourself into anything you could help out with, to keep yourself busy, to not fall asleep because you had horrible nightmares, and now more especially, to avoid Tristian Hallaway. Day 3 of living in Alexandria he had approached you, making small talk, and it was fine, awkward, but fine.

You lacked a lot on people skills, so when he started talking to you it was weird and hard. But not as weird and hard as when he started to flirt with you. At first you hadn't fully notice, or maybe you just ignored, but when he made the very cheesy "Life without you is like a broken pencil...pointless" pick up line, you couldn't ignore it. And that's was when hell started, from that that day, with that horrible pick up line, he bugged you non-stop.

From him wanting to go on runs with you, to him asking you over for dinner at his place nearly everytime he saw you. And you tried so hard to give him the hint that you did not, and would not feel that way about him. But apparently, it just didn't stick.

Closing your book on chapter 82, you decided it was time to go in and try and get some sleep. So, grabbing your pack you had took out hunting with you today, you stood up and headed for the door.

"Hey, Y/N! Wait up." You heard the voice of Tristian, just as you were reaching for the doorknob. "So close, yet so far." You mumbled to yourself as you sighed in annoyace. You turned around to face your stalker, "Hi, Y/N. I was just hoping tonight would be the night you'd come over for dinner." Tristian said as he walked up the steps toward me. "Tristian, look I'm not really..in the mood to talk right now, I had a really long day and I just wanna sleep." You said tiredly, hoping he would just leave it at that.

But he did not. "Aw come on, just tonight and maybe we could rest after dinner." He said, giving me a pointed look. "Look, dude, I'm not interested, in having dinner with you. Not now. Not tomorrow. Not ever." You said sternly, this had been going on for so long. It needed to stop.

"Well, why not?" Tristian responded, somewhat heatedly. "Why aren't you interested, hm?"

"Because, Tristian. You're not my type, and even if you were, I'm not looking for a relationship. And especially one that would be just about sex. So, you should go now." You replied, turning backs towards the door, pausing when you heard his voice, yet again. "How can I not be your type?" He said in a chuckle, "I'm everyone's type."

You stayed in that spot for a minute, thinking he's never gonna let this go. You smirked as and idea crossed your mind, and you turned back around to face him again. "Well, Tristian. You're not my type because, I'm gay." Let's see what he thinks about that. You thought to yourself.

"Y-you're what?" He spluttered. "I'm gay. Lesbian. I, 100%, like girls." You said as a matter of fact.

"There's no way." Tristian said, narrowing his eyes at me.

"There is a way. In fact, I already have a girlfriend. So, I'm spoken for already. And with that being said, goodnight." You turned on your heal once more when you heard him say, "Well, who is it?" Shit. "Who's what?" You responded. "Your girlfriend." He said back, and you could practically hear the quotation marks on 'girlfriend'. You faced him again, crossing your arms over your chest, "It's Maggie. Maggie's my girlfriend."

"Yeah right, Maggie's with Glenn." Tristian said, shaking while laughing. "You're a terrible liar."

"I'm not lying. Maggie and I..are...having an affair. We've been at it for awhile now." You said, with a straight face, this certainly was not going as planned.

And as if she had heard you say her name, there came Maggie, walking out the front door, "Hey, Y/N, I was won-" You cut her off by grabbing the sides of her face, and smashing your lips to hers, muffling her gasped, as she tensed up in shock. But soon you felt her start to kiss back, and you were so thankful for it. You kissed her slightly sloppily for a solid 8 seconds, and as you did, you realized the door was wide open and that, members of your family may or may not be watching you, but you couldn't blow your cover now. "Mwah!" Was the sound you made as you pulled away from her. You both look at each other for a second.

"See, Tristian?" You said, taking Maggie's arms and wrapping them around your waste before, wrapping your own around hers. "Maggie and I, are together. We are gay together, we are in love together. We. Are. Together. She's my lover." You said, turning away from Maggie, to meet Tristian's eye. And there he still stood, but with his jaw hanging open. "Wha- you're really?"

Maggie cleared her throat and turned to Tristian as she tightened her grip on you, "Yeah, she is. We are. But Honey, we promised we wouldn't tell anyone." Maggie said, looking back to you.

"I know, Baby, and I'm so sorry. Tristian here just keep pestering me, ya know? And I just had to tell him. In order for him to, get it. Please don't be mad at me." You pouting as you looked into Maggie's eyes.

"You know I could never be mad at you, Y/N." Maggie responded before planting a kiss on your cheek.

You blushed, "Thank you, Maggie." You said back sweetly, with a small smile.

Tristian cleared his throat, "I-I-I'm truly sorry, Y/N, I really didn't know you were, already in a relationship, or that you were..you were um-"

"A lesbian." You offered.

"Yeah...I'll um, leave you two alone now." He said, before walking back down the steps, "g-goodnight." He stuttered look back at you and Maggie, who were still wrapped in each other. "Night." You both responded in unison.

You walked yourself and Maggie back into your house, and you released her from your gripped once inside, and as you closed the door, you let out a relieved sigh. "Ya know, when I said you should go help her, I didn't mean go and kiss her." You heard Glenn say, and you turned around to face him, "help me?" You questioned.

"Yeah, we saw that Tristan's been bothering you for a little while now." Rick said from his spot on the couch, alongside Daryl, and Michonne.

"I was coming out to with an excuse to get you away from 'im." Maggie said. And you gave a nod, "But I guess kissing my wife was excuse enough, huh Y/N?"

You chuckled nervously a bit, "Sorry, Glenn. I sorta maybe told Tristian I was with Maggie, in order to get him to piss off. Looks like it work! So, yay!" You said as you walked over to the table where Tara sat, and you sat across from him.

"Why didn't you tell him you were with me? I kill to kiss you like how you just kissed Maggie!" Tara said, half-jokingly, and you laughed, "Sorry Tara, maybe if I'm being pestered my another, guy I'll tell him your my girlfriend." You teased. "Alright!" Tara responded, fist bumping you.

"As long as it's not my wife you're kissing anymore, I'm fine with it." Glenn said to you, as he wrapped his arm around Maggie, "Hey, if you saw us kissing, then I'm pretty sure you enjoyed, yeah?" You said with a chuckle and a wink. And Glenn laughed shaking his head at you, "You're a child." He said, and you laughed.

"Just saying some truth. An another? I enjoyed it, too." You whispered, and then you looked to Maggie and winked at her, and she looked down, smiling and blushing, and that smile turned into a huge grin. "Love ya, Mags." You said, as you smiled at her grinning, and everyone gave a chuckled or a laugh. It was no secret that the two of you almost always flirted with one another. It was just your thing.

There was a comfortable silence for a moment, and you stood to go shower and sleep, and just as you did you heard Glenn's voice teasing you once more, "She's your lover, huh?"

You snorted, and before exiting the room you responded, "She's my lover."

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horansqueen · 5 years

Text

AM Conversations : chapter 16

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -3.9k. -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- IF YOU WANT TO BE NOTIFIED WHEN THIS IS UPDATED, I THOUGHT I COULD START A TAG LIST SO LET ME KNOW. IF YOU’D RATHER BE NOTICED IN PRIVATE, MESSAGE ME TOO PLEASE!

- more smut to cum

- i’m having a hard time finding 2015 Niall gifs so i may add 2016 gifs instead. if you want to propose me any PLEASE message me. youll make my day!

- thank you so much for all the asks i get. you guys make me so happy. i cant even explain. thank you forever. i love you!!!

- the ending sucks? im sorry

-please, message me, give me feedbacks, it would mean sooo much to me!

Chapter 16 : His chapter

NIALL

I tried to enjoy the afternoon with everyone but I couldn't pretend that I didn't mind that Liv was not there with me. After all, I decided to accept Harry's invitation this weekend to spend time with her and I was a bit annoyed that I was stuck with other people. I swam a bit but ended up mostly checking stuff on my phone and trying not to interact with people too much but I couldn't ignore them forever, especially not Maya who had tried to catch my attention all day.

I felt her sit on a chair next to me and it reminded me of when we were all around the fire a few nights ago. I could still remember her hand on my thigh and It made me swallow hard. I could feel her eyes on me and after a while, I couldn't resist and looked up, sending her a small but uncomfortable smile before looking back at my phone.

"I know you're avoiding me, Niall." she just admitted with a sigh, making me close my eyes. "I'm not sure why, though. I mean, you kissed me yesterday.. Is it wrong of me to think you may like me?"

I remained motionless for a few seconds, not really sure of what to answer her. I had no idea why I had kissed her but somehow, I regretted it. I knew doing something like that with her was going to make everything messier and that was why I had decided not to do anything in the first place. Now, it was too late and I knew blaming it on alcohol was just plain wrong, even if it was tempting.

I breathed in and turned to look at her, the expression on her face making me feel extremely guilty. Did I like Maya? No, I really didn't think so, and I was not sure why. She was physically everything I would have dreamed of, and had a great personality too, but I just didn't feel it at all. I remember wanting to shag her a few years ago but now I just didn't care. It made no sense and I didn't even want to try and understand my own feelings.

"Honestly, Maya." I sighed and shook my head slightly. "I'm just not ready for a relationship. Actually, I don't want a relationship."

I saw her face change and I could read sadness on her traits. I was a fucking asshole and also an idiot.

"I'm sorry, yesterday was just... a spur of the moment." I explained, moving my face closer to her and talking in a low and gentle tone. "Maybe I shouldn't have, but at that moment I really wanted it, but I don't think I want things to go further, you know?"

I noticed how disappointed she was and perhaps even heartbroken. I didn't know she liked me that much and it surprised me but there was nothing else I could do. I knew if I kept talking I would probably make things worse so I just reached out to grab her hand and squeezed it a bit, sending her a sad smile.

"Are you okay?"

I expected her to take her hand back but she just squeezed it too, putting her other hand over mine.

"No, I mean yes." she expressed, closing her eyes for a few seconds and chuckling low. "I mean, if you change your mind..."

I opened my lips to answer her but suddenly received a beach ball on my head, making me groan as I turned around. Gemma was laughing and Louis just shrugged as an apology, his eyes open wide. He looked amused and I just rolled my eyes.

"Clearly you suck at this game Tommo!" I yelled loud enough for him to hear when I noticed they were playing volleyball. "The girls are winning!"

"They beat us in numbers, that's why we're losing!" Liam argued, making me laugh again.

"Yea you tell yourself that, Liam!" I let out with a laugh.

"Why don't you show us your skills then, Neil?"

I hesitated a few seconds but finally got up, taking my shirt off and throwing it over my phone before running to them and joining the guys' team. We played for about an hour but lost against the girls and when we all walked back to the cars, I was exhausted. It made me realize I hadn't thought about my best friend in a while and just that simple idea made my heart skip a beat. She probably wasn't thinking about me either, most likely too busy to make out with Harry and I grimaced at that thought. I felt like i'd never be at ease with their relationship and it bugged me.

I noticed Maya decided to ride with Louis and it made me frown but at the same time, it was a relief. I didn't know how to act around her anymore and I was scared I had been a bit rough with her. After all, I did send her a few mixed signals and it was wrong of me, but it was better to be honest now than to make her believe something could happen between us.

"It's early, d'you think Harry and Liv are done doing it or should we just go grab a bite to give them more time?"

My head moved up to fast I almost heard my neck crack and I stared at Louis as he unlocked the door of his car to let people in.

"They're not... doing... anything." I pointed out with an annoyed chuckle, raising one of my shoulders up. "What are you on?"

"Oh Neil, you poor poor naive boy." Louis said with a laugh, shaking his head and putting his hand on my shoulder. "They've been postponing this shit for so long, don't you think they want to have some fun now?"

I frowned more, my eyes roaming on his face as he smiled more.

"If he touched her i'm gonna kill him." I just replied without thinking, making Louis chuckle.

"That's not really your business, Niall, is it now?"

My facial expression changed but I tried to keep the anger in. I was tired to hear that it was none of my business and that I was not allowed to protect and care for Liv. She was my best friends and that's what best friends do. I wanted to tell him to keep his opinions to himself but I swallowed my words, the feeling extremely unpleasant. Louis took a step closer and looked behind himself to make sure everyone was in the car before turning back to look in my eyes.

"If you want to be more than friends with her, you need to do it now, or it may be too late." he pointed out in a low tone, raising his eyebrows at me.

"I have no idea what the f-" I started, taking a step back, as he gripped my shoulder harder.

"Shut up." he cut me. "That little competition you've got going on with Harry? It's getting annoying, and it's about Olivia. The sooner you open your eyes the better, so we don't have to witness it anymore, okay?"

Without giving me the chance to answer, he turned around and sat in his car, closing the door roughly. I stood there for a few more seconds and finally pushed all the air out of my lungs before walking around my car and sitting behind the wheel. I would have laughed at his words if I hadn't been so fucking pissed. Everyone around me was going fucking insane, and Louis was just the worst of them all.

Maybe the way I cared about her could pass as more than friendship but they all knew how close Liv and I were and I couldn't understand why suddenly, it meant something else. Nothing had changed between us except maybe the fear of losing the other but that didn't mean we had feelings for each other.

I drove the whole way back to the lodge in silence, trying to respect the speed limits, even if I was impatient to get back there, if only to know if Louis was right. Now that he was mentioning it, they were always flirty around each other and it made something stir in my stomach. I remembered the way they danced at the club or the things they said when we played truth or dare. Why didn't I notice that before? It seemed so obvious now that that's what Harry had in mind when he asked me to spend time with Liv alone and I slapped myself mentally for being so oblivious to his intentions.

My seat belt was undone as soon as I parked the car and I quickly grabbed my stuff to walk back inside fast. I was still mad and I really didn't feel like talking with anyone so when I rushed to my room, I didn't think to knock. If catching my best friend masturbating wasn't enough, finding her naked under one of my bandmates would certainly do the trick from now on.

Liv let out a short high-pitched scream while Harry muttered a curse word, pushing his body over hers to hide her from my eyes. His reaction brought back the anger inside me and I held my breath as my eyes found Liv's. She immediately closed them as I remained motionless, facing the bed. I couldn't think of any worse scenario than this exact one.

"Niall, could you please just fucking leave?" Harry asked, glaring at me.

"You're fucking my best friend! I'm not leaving!"

The words escaped my lips and my heart skipped a beat. It didn't make any sense but at the same time, it did to me.

"We're not having sex, we were just making out." Liv explained in a soft voice, her eyes still shut tight.

"You're bloody naked!" I mentioned, my face twisting into an upset grimace. "You guys have been dating for like, two minutes!"

"That's none of your business, Niall, now leave." I heard Harry say, making me even angrier.

"You, you don't tell me what to do!" I let out meanly, taking a step closer and pointing a finger at him.

"NIALL! LEAVE!"

The room became quiet and my eyes met Olivia's as my lips parted in surprise. I let my arm fall back on my side, my heart beating hard in my chest as I tried to remember if my best friend even yelled at me before. I couldn't really blame her. I was, in fact, yelling at the guy she liked while she waited naked under him, but I was still shocked by her words. I remained motionless, just staring at her for a while, until she swallowed hard, closing her eyes again.

"Please, Nee, leave." she repeated in a low tone this time.

It took me about a minute to turn around and leave, shutting the door so hard behind myself that the frame shook slightly. I passed my hand in my hair, pulling on it hard and roughly, as I paced in the hall. I didn't know how to let go of that insanely painful and annoying feeling inside of me and I groaned low, closing my eyes hard, trying to get rid of the image of Harry on top of my best friend.

I don't know how long it took but it seemed to take forever until the door opened again. Harry stopped in front of me and we stared at each other until he shook his head a few times.

"What?" I let out a bit too loud, raising my hands up. "You're mad at me because you didn't have time to shag her?"

"I'm mad because you hurt her and she's sad." he let out slowly and in a low tone, making sure I heard every word. "I'm mad because she asked me to leave and I can't comfort her, she won't let me be there for her and yes Niall, I blame you."

He just moved past me, hitting my shoulder with his arm lightly as he left but I didn't budge.

"If you loved her, you should have told me when I asked you." he added as he reached his room. "Now it's too late."

I held my breath until I heard his door close and took a few steps, pushing on the ajar door of the room I shared with Liv. I was surprised to see her walk quickly around in the dark, wearing Harry's shirt. The sight made me cringe but I just shoved my hands on my pockets.

"What the FUCK are you doing?" I asked, my eyes following her as she grabbed stuff around the room.

"I'm leaving!" she just let out, not even looking at me.

"Leaving? From here? Or just from this room?"

She didn't answer but sniffed and that's when I noticed she was crying. I felt my heart break in my chest and most of my anger vanished. Seeing Olivia sad was the worst thing in the fucking world. I could have told her to leave. I could have told her to go see Harry if that's what she fucking wanted. But she was crying and it made me want to take her in my arms instead. She ended up on her knees, sobbing even more, and I knew that if she was shamelessly crying like that in front of me, it meant she couldn't control it. I sighed and put myself in front of her, getting on my knees too. They brushed against the carpet and I winced a bit at the pain in my left one, making me realize I shouldn't have played volleyball for so long.

"Please, petal, i'm so sorry."

Cautiously, I reached for her shoulders with both my hands, expecting her to push me away but instead, she just collapsed in my arms, her head leaning against my upper arm. I held her closer and tighter, burying my face in her hair and smelling the same thing I had noticed a few days ago. I inhaled deeply, the scent of vanilla invading me, and pressed her body against mine the best I could. It was ridiculous. I was ridiculous, and I was not even sure why she was crying. All I knew is that I wanted her to stop being sad.

"I'm so sorry." I repeated just as low. "I really shouldn't have. Fuck. I don't know why I got so pissed I just.. I just don't want him to take advantage of you."

I held her close a few more minutes and she wiped her tears on my shirt, looking up in my eyes. I brought both my hands to her face and cupped her cheeks, running my thumbs under her eyes to remove what was left of her sadness. My gaze traveled on her face, noticing how heartbroken she looked, and my lips parted slightly at how close we were.

"He was... he was not. I wanted this." she murmured.

I couldn't understand myself anymore. I didn't know what was happening to me, or what I wanted. All I knew was that I was losing her and that no matter what I did, nothing seemed to go back the way it used to be.

"I don't deserve it but please, forgive me." I breathed out, watching her eyes flutter close and open again, my face still only a few inches away from hers. "I'm gonna leave you two alone now, okay? I'll let you do whatever you want without a comment and without butting in."

She closed her eyes and I felt her shake a bit, aware that she was near sobbing.

"Hey, hey, Liv..." I tried to get her attention back. "I promise. Just... look, i'm so fucking scared to lose you."

I thought i'd regret my words but as soon as they escaped my lips, I felt an incredible relief wash over me but still held my breath. I could feel my heart beat against my rib cage but her eyes opened and she shook her head lightly.

"You'll never lose me, Niall." she pointed out, swallowing hard. "I feel like you're always so close to leave. I'm scared you'll realize that I'm nothing compared to the people you hang out with and you'll just drop me."

Her voice was low and weak and her words shook me in a way I didn't expect. How could she ever think something so bad coming from me? How could she ever think so low of herself?

"If anything, you're too good for me." I whispered, running one of my thumbs on her lips. "You're my best friend and I love you, okay? I'll always love you."

Her eyes got slightly bigger when I moved closer for a few seconds but I finally moved back and licked my lips, still cupping her face.

"You understand?" I asked, raising my eyebrows as she nodded slowly. "Okay."

I loosened the grip I had on her cheeks and she sat up, closing her eyes. I felt like shit for how I was acting around her and even if I couldn't shake the bad feeling I had about Harry and her, I knew I had to keep it to myself from now on, even if it would be tough.

"Please, stay."

She didn't look at me at all. She just got up, leaving her stuff on the floor, and walked to the bed to sit on it. I got up too and sighed, biting my bottom lip as I looked at her.

"Are you hungry?" I just asked, shoving my hands in my pockets again.

"Yea, give me a few minutes, I'll dress up and meet you in the kitchen." she said after clearing her throat. I nodded and turned on my heel but stopped again when I heard her voice. "You should go talk to Harry."

I shut my eyes tight, grabbing the inside of my pockets tight as I breathed in. I knew she was right, but there was nothing I wanted less than to go talk to him. Still, I had to do it for her.

"Okay."

I closed the door behind myself and quickly walked to Harry's room, knocking on the door. It swung open after only a few seconds and when I saw his smile fall down, I realized he had hoped for Liv, and not for me.

"Harry, I just wanted to say that i'm sorry." I quickly let out, one of my hands still twisting the fabric of the inside of one of my pockets. "That won't happen again."

His face softened slightly but I could tell he was still pissed at me. We remained silent for about a minute and I just nodded a few times, turning around to leave.

"Why?"

His question made me frown and I turned around to look at him again, shrugging.

"Why what?"

"Why didn't you just tell me that you loved her?" he questioned me, taking a step closer to me and leaning against the door frame.

"Because I don't." I rolled my eyes. "What's wrong with you guys? Liv and I have always been close, it's nothing new."

"No, things have changed." he argued again. "You never cared about who she dated before."

He was right, but I couldn't tell him that I knew him and that I was scared he'd break her heart. I couldn't tell him that seeing them together gave me a wrong vibe. I couldn't tell him I felt like I'd be the one who'd have to mend the pieces of her heart after he breaks it. So I just shrugged and raised my eyebrows.

"I've always been protective of her."

"That's very close to being possessive. You should know that."

I grimaced at his accusation but swallowed a bitter remark.

"Well that's over." I just explained. "I promise this won't happen again. By the way, it's dinner. I think Louis bought food on his way back."

When I walked down the hall, I heard some whispers and everyone was sitting at the table when I entered the kitchen. It was so obvious that they all had been listening that I suddenly felt nauseous. I took a seat as everyone started taking food from the bags Louis had placed on the table. He had decided on chinese and it made me take a mental note to hit the gym as soon as this crazy weekend would be over. I realized a bit too late that I was sitting next to Maya but I decided to not overthink it.

I tried not to stare when Liv and Harry entered the room too but noticed Louis sending them a smirk. They both sat next to each other but on the other side of the table and I bit my tongue hard enough to make sure I didn't make any comment about it. Was I annoyed that my best friend wasn't sitting by my side? Yes. But after the tantrum I had just thrown, I knew I should lay really fucking low.

We all started eating but for some reason, I didn't feel like talking with anyone. I didn't add anything or even laugh when Louis made a few comments about Liv and Harry spending the whole day alone together in the house. I focused on eating what was in my plate quickly and when I was done, I brought my dishes to the counter and got out of the room, letting myself fall on one of the couches with a loud sigh.

I only had a few minutes of alone time when I realized Maya had joined me, taking a seat next to me but not close enough to touch me. I looked up at her and blinked a few times as she sent me a sorry look.

"We sort of heard." she confessed, nibbling her bottom lip as my gaze dropped to my lap.

"Yea, I sort of guessed."

"I know you just want us to be friends but I want you to know that, if you need me, I'm always here."

I felt defeated and I didn't know why. I felt a lot of things these days that I just didn't understand. Olivia and I had talked, and we both made it clear that we would never leave each other. Then why did I still feel like shit? Why did I feel like a truck had ran over my heart until it stopped beating? Why the FUCK did I feel like I had lost?

"I don't know what I want anymore, Maya." I sighed, closing my eyes and passing one of my hands in my hair.

"What does that mean?"

I stayed motionless for a few seconds and finally opened my eyes, sighing again. I shrugged and looked up before diving my gaze into hers. She was gorgeous and kind. Smart and sexy. She was literally everything i've always dreamed of.

"It means i'm not making promises, but I guess we could try. We could go on a date, maybe?"

I saw surprise light up her face and her lips parted, making me chuckle sadly. I was not sure I was doing the right thing but at this point, I was not sure of anything. Perhaps, finding myself someone to be with would make all of this easier. Maybe I wouldn't be so angry anymore when I'd see Harry with my best friend.

"If you're still interested, of course."

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