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olivia-anderson-fanfic · 3 years

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Soulmarks, Part 13

First part

~~~

She heard a knock on her balcony door and opened it. He stood outside, his hands stuffed in his pockets. She glanced him over. He was definitely more prepared than she was, he looked like he’d just walked out of a spy movie with all his equipment.

She looked it over with envy. Ah, the power of money.

Marinette waved him inside. “I’ve still got to get some stuff out.”

She dug through her room. Unsurprisingly, her parents weren’t exactly aware of this particular ‘hobby’ of hers… which meant that she’d had to hide everything pretty well. They didn’t exactly go through her room, but they still came up to talk to her often enough that having stuff out in the open was a terrible idea.

She scooped up the last piece of equipment and turned around.

He was also poking around her room, though the reason why was probably less innocent than ‘looking for spy equipment’... which already isn’t all that innocent, so take that how you will.

Her face flushed as she crossed her arms over her chest. “Find anything interesting?”

His shoulders froze and he dropped the tiny Chat Noir plush he’d found. “Your room… it’s... uh… very… pink.” He coughed into his hand awkwardly. “Yep. Got everything? Good, let’s go.”

He made to leave and she grabbed his arm.

Tim paused and looked back at her, giving her his most innocent smile. He was probably anxious that she was mad at him for snooping around her room (she wasn’t, she’d do the same thing in his room if he had actually lived there).

She hesitated slightly and let go, pulling out her yoyo to mess with. Now for the part of the night that she’d been dreading most: “We need a backup plan in case we get caught.”

“I doubt we will,” he said with a cocky grin.

Marinette shrugged. “I hope not, but in case… you’ll need to have some kind of suit so we can say it’s superhero business.”

He winced and looked at the floor. “I don’t want to get back in the Robin suit,” he admitted, his voice little more than a whisper.

She nodded slightly. She’d predicted that. He hadn’t once mentioned wanting to get back into the Robin suit, nor had the soulmark made a reappearance. She held up a finger for him to wait and then walked over to her desk, picking up a tiny box.

She’d thought for a long time about what to give him. She had wanted to give him the fox miraculous originally, it was the most in line with what they were doing; Trixx would give them extra cover and they could get closer to Lila without her detecting them. On the other hand, giving the fox miraculous to anyone besides Alya was risky. There was a risk of her becoming akumatized. They really didn’t need that right now.

And, so, she handed over the horse miraculous. It would give them a quick out when needed.

Also, she thought he’d look cute with glasses. Sue her.

He raised his eyebrows slightly and pulled them on.

She was right!

He frowned slightly and started squinting through the glasses. “Oh, crap, do I actually need glasses these are helpi -- WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!”

“Shhhhh! My parents are going to hear us!”

He pointed at Kaalki, who crossed her arms (? hooves? legs?) over her chest.

“Who is that,” she corrected, then turned to Marinette with a sigh. “Is he at least famous?”

“Yep. Tim Drake-Wayne. Rich and famous, just how you like them.”

Kaalki beamed. “Finally, someone who actually deserves me.”

Marinette rolled her eyes and turned to Tim, who was slowly backing away from the tiny god. “She’s not going to hurt you.”

“Well, yeah, I can and will punt her.”

She rolled her eyes. “She’s literally a god, but okay.”

“A WHAT?!”

Marinette heard a knock on the bottom of her trapdoor and cursed, quickly diving onto it before her mom could come in. Her hands and knees were scraped, but it was much easier than explaining why there was a guy and a god hanging out in her room.

“Marinette? Is everything okay in there?” Her mom pushed up on the door and she threw all her weight into holding it closed. “Who’s over?”

“Yes, mom, everything’s fine! This is just…” She floundered. “A new superhero?”

“How do you know superheroes?”

“I have an amazing personality.” She caught Tim’s eyes and mouthed that he needed to take off all the equipment and then transform.

He looked reluctant, but he complied.

She waited until he was fine and then finally pushed herself off the door, giving her mother an awkward smile as the trapdoor opened.

“Hi, mom, meet…” She looked at Tim and shrugged. “Horse-guy?”

Tim raised his eyebrows. “Horse-guy? Seriously?”

She shrugged. “Do you have anything better?”

“Uh…” He looked down at himself. “Cheval Brun?”

“Should’ve gone with Horse-guy.” She smiled and waved at her mom. “Great, now that you know nothing is going on, can you… go? I love you!”

“Love you… too?” Said her mom, her eyebrows knitting together. She slowly closed the trapdoor.

Marinette breathed a sigh of relief and laid back.

“Tikki, spots on,” she mumbled.

Tim grinned and offered her a hand up. “Ready to go?”

She took it and smiled as he helped her to her feet.

“Of course.”

She pulled her night-vision goggles to her eyes. Lila was… on her bed, scrolling through her phone. Threatening.

“Y’know, it feels weird to stalk someone I don’t like,” she said with a pout.

“Right?” Said Tim, frowning as he set up his camera. “Stalking is for obsessions only.”

“Exactly.”

She heard her comm click. “You guys are really weird,” said Adrien, sounding exhausted. “Just… in the future, can you stick to only stalking each other?”

“Sounds romantic,” said Marinette.

“No,” said Dick. “No, it’s not.”

Tim grinned. “It could be.”

“No --.”

“I say we let them. At least it’s not us anymore,” said Barbara.

Marinette laughed. “Exactly. Be glad.”

She felt Tim lace his fingers through hers and she was lucky it was dark because her face was quickly getting warm.

“We’re turning off comms to listen. We’ll turn them back on if we need to.”

Everyone mumbled a bye (and Dick warned that they would pick up the conversation later) and the soulmates turned their comms off in sync.

They waited there for a long time, their ears pressed to the devices Tim had brought to help listen in. But… it was almost like Lila was being intentionally boring. They didn’t have to peek over the side to make sure that she was still there, because they could hear her shift around on the bed or laugh occasionally, she just seemed to be very interested in her phone.

“Christ, she’s more boring than Adrien. At least Adrien sometimes played piano,” she joked quietly, resting her head back against the wall with a tiny sigh.

Maybe they were wrong about Lila. They’d been going off of shaky evidence at best. Still, something in her told her that they were right.

The thing telling her this was definitely fuelled by spite, but she was going to pretend that it wasn’t.

So she continued to listen in. There was a lot of waiting involved in stalking someone if you’re looking for something.

Her eyes found their way to Tim, who gave her a tiny smile.

Well, she might as well kill time.

“So, we going to talk about Lila?”

His smile dropped and he tried not to tense up too much.

“Thought we already did?” He said.

She shrugged. “A little, but I’d like to know why you were so convinced. Yeah, Lila is like that, but you seemed pretty determined to believe her over me.”

He hesitated, looking down at their interlocked hands. He’d hoped that her history with Lila would be enough to convince her that was all, but he supposed he should have known she’d be smarter than that.

Man, why couldn’t he just lie? He wanted to lie, it should have been so easy to say ‘oh, no, she’s just really convincing, you know that’ but he couldn’t bring himself to. Not when he’d seen how hurt she’d looked at the cafe, not when she was giving him that smile that said she’d understand no matter what.

Tim sighed and closed his eyes.

“It’s just… you’re so… good, Nette.”

She raised her eyebrows.

“No, really. Like, yes, you’re probably more revenge motivated than you should be, and you can be a bit of a pushover, and you rival Bruce in the bad coping mechanism olympics, but… you’re also a heroine, you’re sweet, and it feels like you were made for me but…”

She ran her thumb over the back of his hand. She looked like she was going to argue for a second, but ultimately just prompted him to continue with a: “But…?”

“But... that’s just not how things go in my life. There’s always some kind of downside, some huge ‘oh fuck’. So you being some sort of terrible person underneath really would have just been par for the course.”

He felt tears form in the back of his eyes. Venting always feels good after the fact, even if it opens old wounds while you’re doing it. Damn. He couldn’t really afford to do this in Paris, but here he was, and now that he’d started he couldn’t bring himself to stop. If he did, he doubted he’d ever be able to bring himself to tell her, and he wasn’t fond of that, either.

“And, I’ve never really told anyone about this, but… I don’t really… talk to a lot of people.”

“I know.”

His head shot up to look at her. “Huh?”

“You’re my soulmate. It took you until fourteen to get a single person’s name. I kinda guessed.”

Oh. Right.

He sighed and closed his eyes. “Well, yeah, my parents sucked and every person who ever tried to talk to me did it because they were rich. I ended up just never talking to people. The whole ‘friends’ thing is still kinda new to me, let alone getting a possible girlfriend.”

He gave a short, somewhat bitter laugh. “Not that you want to date me. I’m a bit of a mess. So is my life. You’d be better off if we were just friends, and even better if you stopped talking to me entirely.”

He felt her head rest on his shoulder and opened his eyes to look at her. She gave him a slight smile, but her eyes were locked on a place over his shoulder.

A frown made its way across his face and he started to turn to see what she was looking at, only to feel her cup his cheek and pull his face until he was looking at her again.

She met his gaze and her smile dropped into a serious look. “Listen: I like being around you. A lot. I’m not nearly as perfect as you seem to think I am, but I still want to be something good in your life. Please, let me.”

He let himself relax, resting his hand over hers and turning his head to press a tiny kiss to her palm.

“I know you only said that because there was an akuma, but… I’d like that.”

She blushed faintly and relaxed a little bit as well. “I still meant it.”

He looked at her for a minute, expecting to see some hint of a lie, but there wasn’t one. She met his gaze and smiled, leaning up slightly to press a kiss to his cheek.

He couldn’t help it. He turned his head and his lips brushed against hers.

She blinked in surprise.

He looked at her wide eyes and paled. Shit. “Sorry! I don’t know what --!”

She kissed him again and he felt himself smile as he kissed back. It was both of their first kisses, so they were, admittedly, a little awkward, but he could definitely tell why people liked it so much. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d ever felt so energized.

But, eventually, they pulled away. His eyes fluttered open to see she was blushing like mad, and the warmth in his cheeks told him that he was likely just as red. She smiled at him and he felt his heart do a tiny flip in his chest.

Eventually, though, Lila laughed at something on her phone and he was pulled back to reality.

He blinked a few times and looked away. They were here for a reason other than kissing. They had a job. “Did you see where the akuma came from?” He asked after a few seconds.

She snapped out of it as well, pulling her hand from his cheek to point over his shoulder. “Back that way --.”

They both looked at where she was pointing, where the akuma was slowly disappearing on the horizon.

“What are the chances it’s going back to Hawkmoth?”

“Worth a shot, don’t you think?”

They followed after it.

~~~

Next part

A lot of people wait to do kisses until the end but idk I like writing people in relationships too much to

Taglist

@pawsitivelymiraculous @golden-promises @salty-fang @kitsunebell @sassakitty @octobitch @glastwime859 @miyla-lokidottir @onlyabatfan @ira-sairain @2confused-2doanything @ultimatetornshipper @ladybug-182 @laurcad123 @we-want-mini-mini @roguishredaxion @just-reblogs-by-h @futursworld @magic-miraculous @nathleigh @smolplantmum @vroomtaka @emimar7 @toodaloo-kangaroo @charme-de-malchan @spicybelladonna @fusser90 @indecisive-mess-named-me @rosesgonerogue @celestialsiren @bluesimani @loysydark

#timinette #timari #marinette dupain cheng #ladybug #red robin #tim drake #listen technically he's not red robin in this #but wtf kinda clicks am i going to get with brun cheval #soulmarks #maribat #adribat

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lady-griffin · 3 years

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Characters That Might Be Introduced in Young Justice Season 4: Phantoms

This is just my own personal speculation, based on what I think might happen in Season 4 and what YJ has given us so far. I’m sure that I’ve missed plenty of characters that others 100% believe or know will be making an appearance...but, I can’t do anything about that.

While the majority of the characters on this list are ones we haven’t met before, there are a few we have met in the show - I included these characters, because I think they might be added to the ever-growing roster of heroes or have a more prominent role to play.

This is really long, but I had fun doing it and I hope you enjoy it.

Characters We've Met Already

Part I: Prominent Future Role

M’comm M’orzz/Ma'alefa'ak

M’gann’s younger brother who wants to start a white revolution on Mars. We met him in season 3 during the episode of “Away Mission,” where he was a major focal point.

There are a couple of factors for why I think he’ll play a prominent role.

He’s M’gann’s younger brother and as several people have speculated upon, this season’s tagline of “Phantoms” might be in reference to our main characters’ own personal phantoms from their pasts, rather than literal ghosts. Also given how M’gann has a new little brother in Gar, who was given more prominence last season – there could be something there.

M’Comm wants to start a White Revolution and we know M’gann, Conner, J’onn, and Gar (I believe) will be heading to Mars, either before or at the beginning of Season 4. Since J’onn/Martian Manhunter is usually the last Green Martian – some dark stuff may be awaiting our heroes on Mars or occur while they’re there.

I think he’ll play a significant role in the upcoming season.

Jason Todd/Red Hood

Jason is a prominent member of the Batfamily and we’ve already learned that he was the Robin after Dick, but died before Season 2 began.

In Season 3 – he was also an easter egg in “Nightmare Monkeys,” where he died in Beast Boy’s mind, along with other fallen comrades.

More importantly, in “Rescue Op,” we actually met him as the Red Hooded Ninja on Infinity Island. Towards the end of that episode there was attention given to the fact that he recognized Dick and therefore his memory was returning.

I can definitely see him having a more significant part in the future. He would most likely be Dick’s main phantom, if that’s the case for Season 4.

Big Barda

One of Granny’s most loyal generals and the leader of the furies before she defects against Darkseid. We were introduced to her in Season 3, in “Influence" - she fought against the Justice League, but more importantly she was saved by Superman. While it’s clear that Granny hurting her or being willing to sacrifice her is par for the course, it seemed pretty clear (to me) that Superman reshaped her outlook on life.

We never saw her again, so more than likely she defected after Superman saved her.

Given her usual importance to the plot of Darkseid as well as the fact that her main love interest is Scot Free – I think there is more than a good chance we’ll see her again in Season 4.

In the third season, each of these characters were introduced in a single episode. Given their significant relationships to either a character or a plot element that is important to Young Justice - it seems more than likely we’ll see them play a larger role in the upcoming season.

Part II: Minor Future Role

Harper Rowe/Bluebird

She was a minor character in Season 3, but she was also pretty prominent. Given that she’s a hero in the comics, I can see Harper being a new hero added to the roster. I can’t say how prominent she’ll actually be, but I can definitely see her playing a minor role.

Courtney Whitmore/Stargirl

Courtney is a pretty prominent young hero in DC and she made several appearances in Season 3 – with her show (Stargirl) where she reported and interviewed young heroes. So, maybe she’ll have decided instead of just interviewing heroes, she’ll become one herself.

Cisco Ramon/Vibe

For a character who was just being bullied they paid a decent amount of attention to him. Now maybe he was just a prominent Easter Egg for fans (CW’s The Flash), but it could also be YJ laying some slight ground work for him in the future.

Cassandra Cain/Orphan

Orphan is a member of the Batfamily and her mother is Lady Shiva - The Light’s new enforcer, who we got to know decently well in Season 3. Because of that, I think there could be something there to explore in Season 4.

I don’t really think any of these guys will be major characters, but I’m betting we’ll at least see them in the background as heroes. Similar to how Stephanie Brown and others were introduced as easter eggs and then in the following season we saw them working as heroes.

In addition, there are of course other minor hero/super-powered characters whom we’ve already met (Arrowette, Spoiler, Mist etc.) and any one of them could get more screen time, it’s honestly anyone’s guess; I just don’t have anything specific to speculate about for them.

Characters We Haven’t Met

Part I: Legion of Super-Heroes/Time Travel

Based on the idea that the Legion of Super-Heroes and time travel could play a significant role in Season 4 – which is based on how season 3 ended with an unknown woman wearing a Legion Ring.

Legion of Super-Heroes

The Legion of Super-Heroes are a superhero team from the 31st Century; they are similar to The Justice League, but they protect and defend the United Planets.

Tinya Wazzo/Phantom Girl

Phantom Girl is a member of the Legion, so based off that and her name, there’s a decent chance we’ll meet her. I can’t say how big of role she’ll actually have, but I feel confident in saying this season won’t be named after her; it’ll just be fun little tie-in, if she does make an appearance.

Querl Dox/Brainiac 5

Brainiac is a very prominent member of the Legion and knowing that they will play some role, it’s not a stretch to say he’ll also play a role.

Brainiac 5, or at least in the WB animated show, was the inventor of the Legion Ring, as well as the ability to time-travel.

Given his relation to one of Superman’s greatest enemies, Brainiac, who could definitely be a threat to both the League and The Light (if Brainiac even appears), I can definitely see Brainiac 5 playing a role.

But, just his promience within the Legion is enough reason to speculate he’ll make an apperance.

Imra Ardeen/Saturn Girl

Given Saturn Girl’s usual importance and prominence to the Legion (founding member), plus the fact that it was a waitress wearing the ring – it could very well have been her at the end of Season 3.

And even if it wasn’t her, she will still likely make an apperance.

Other Members of the Legion of Super-Heroes who we could meet: Lightning Lad, Cosmic Boy, Bouncing Boy, Triplicate Girl, Timber Wolf, Chameleon Boy, etc.

Michael Carter/Booster Gold

Booster Gold is a pretty popular character who has appeared in many other works and is intrinsically linked with time-travel. On top of that, he typically has (or had) a good friendship with the old Blue Beetle (Ted Kord), so maybe we’ll see some reverse-mentor relationship with him and Jaime, the new Beetle – Jaime teaching him what it actually means to be a hero.

In general, I think he would just be a fun and new kind of personality to be brought in.

Future Kids (Lian Nguyen-Harper, Damian Wayne, Jon Kent, Tornado Twins, etc).

Given how time-travel will possibly be an element in Season 4, I think there’s a chance we’ll have an episode set in the future, starring the next generation of heroes. Maybe not all the kids we saw in “Home Fires,” but probably some of them.

Part II: The Phantom Zone

I have the theory that Granny’s X-Pit is a type of Phantom Zone or at least based off the real thing.

Granny herself even called the pit the Ghost Dimension (which just sounds like another name for the Phantom Zone). So, it seems very likely to me that given the title of Season Four, the prominence of The Phantom Zone in DC, and how the X-Pit worked in YJ -- that The Phantom Zone will make an appearance in season 4, if not play an important part.

There could be lots of ways they could incorporate it into the show.

Maybe it works as a prison. The prison cells are like the red boxes Granny used to protect herself and thus there’s no chance of prisoners escaping the Zone, because if they try leave their cells, they’ll experience excruciating pain

Depending on how the Phantom Zone would work in in YJ, I feel like those who escape the Phantom Zone or are from there, could be called Phantoms.

While I do personally think the tagline Phantoms will refer to our main heroes’ own personal phantoms, the tagline could also be in reference to other elements of the season (like the Phantom Zone).

Kara Zor-El/Supergirl

Supergirl is an important and popular character in the DC and given the prominence of the Batfamily in YJ, it seems a bit odd that the Superfamily is rather lacking in comparison.

Supergirl has been a part of the Legion of Super-Heroes and due to her popular CW Show - she is more recently associated with the Phantom Zone. In her show, she ended up being stuck in the Phantom Zone which is why she arrived on Earth so much later than Clark. YJ could do something like that or maybe she’ll have been stuck in the Phantom Zone until the 31st Century.

The introduction of Supergirl could be an interesting storyline in association with Conner (and Clark). We know that Clark has been interested in finding other Kryptonians and Kara is certainly more than just another Kryptonian.

She’s also a likely candidate to be the waitress who was wearing the Legion Ring.

Mon-El

A Daxxamite who’s a member of the Legion of Super-Heroes and is also strongly associated with the Phantom Zone. Given how in Season 1, Superman thought that Shazam and Icon were potential Kryptonians, there could be something interesting there with Mon-El – especially since his species are so similar to Kryptonians.

In the comics, Mon-El had been inspired by Superboy into becoming a hero, but he was put in the Phantom Zone because he had an incurable disease; he was later saved by Brainiac 5 in the 31st Century. So that could be another potential storyline for Superboy in Season 4.

Mon-El has also gotten some more recognition in recent years, due to his role in CW’s Supergirl.

Also, when I was looking up a picture for him to use, I learned that there is another version of Mon-El, where he is a descendent of House El/Superman.

So maybe that version will be introduced instead of the Daxxamite one, I don’t know.

Zod Trio -- Zod, Ursa, Non

I don’t actually think these guys will be important to Season 4, if even they are introduced. But they are important Superman Villains and they’re usually connected with the Phantom Zone – given how many continuities they are prisoners of said Zone.

So, it seemed silly to not speculate about them at least making an appearance or small cameo, if not something more.

Part III: Darkseid and Meta-Trafficking

Scott Free/Mister Miracle

Scott or Scot is Darkseid’s adopted son and the biological son of Highfather, so it feels safe to say that he’ll be a part of the show at some point. Especially, given the increase prominence of Darkseid as well as how much we’ve seen of the New Gods, Motherboxes/Fatherboxes, and the two worlds of New Genesis and Apokolips.

Scot is a defector of Apokolips or more accurately was never broken by the place. He is known for being able to escape any imprisonment - particularly Granny’s Orphanage/X-Pit, so if there’s a return of the X-Pit, Scot would be a great asset to our heroes.

Given how we’ve been introduced to the X-Pit quite thoroughly in Season 3, I think that Scot’s ability to free himself would be all the more impressive, and a quick way to establish this new character and his skills.

In addition, while we didn’t meet the real Orion, we do know that he exists in this universe. Orion is the adopted son of Highfather and the biological one of Darkseid. In the comics, Scot and Orion were traded as part of a Peace Treaty between the worlds of New Genesis and Apokolips.

Basically, he’s due to make an apperance.

Princess Koriand’r of Tamaran/Starfire

The plots of Season 2 and 3 were largely focused on the kidnapping, experimenting, and trafficking of meta-human children/teenagers, so given all of that - Starfire seems very likely to be included in YJ.

Or at the very least, YJ has laid down the groundwork for her to be introduced - whether or not they’ll use that, we’ll have to see.

Starfire’s origin is that she is a Tamerean Princess who was taken and experimented on, which resulted in her gaining powers (more powers). So, in the YJ universe she would essentially be a Meta-Tamerean.

Starfire could be a great way to show that the Meta-Gene exploitation isn’t just an earth/human problem anymore, as many more beings across the universe are being experimented on and turned into living weapons.

Thus, expanding upon the trafficking story thread that was introduced in Season 3.

In general, Starfire’s origin story fits very well with the trafficking/meta-experimenting storylines that we’ve gotten so far and I think her presence would add something new.

Given the popularity of Teen Titans and the prominence of Nightwing, Beast Boy, and Cyborg in YJ, it seems more than likely that Star will be a character in the show.

Also, we know that Arsenal will be on the Covert Team and that Jason is alive, so maybe if Star is introduced, we’ll see a version of the Outlaws in YJ. Which could be fun.

Finally, she is one of Nightwing’s main love interests, so there could be some personal drama to be had, if the show goes down that route, which they may not.

Starfire obviously doesn’t have to be a love interest for Nightwing to be added into the story.

While I love RobStar (+ Dickbabs), I feel like sometimes Star is just limited to being Nightwing’s other girlfriend. So, if she is introduced in YJ, I would not be opposed to other storylines involving her without Nightwing.

In my personal opinion, not including Star would be such a wasted opportunity, given what YJ has already established so far.

Part IV: Zatanna’s Protégé(s) / Magic-Based Characters

I have a small theory, that magic might play a larger role in season 4. This is mostly based on the fact that magic has been pushed to the background in the past two seasons. Also, the title of ‘Phantoms’ makes me think of the supernatural (aka Magic).

We also know that Zatanna will have protégés, as in plural. Now she already has Thirteen, so at the very least we can say that one new magical-based character will be introduced to the team or the hero side.

The Phantom Stranger

A mysterious mystic who battles supernatural forces. It’s unlikely he’ll be a protégé for Zatanna, but I mentioned him first, because of his name. Which is the main reason for why I think he, out of all the magical characters in DC, could make an appearance.

Similar to Phantom Girl, I don’t think the season’s tagline will come from his name, but it might just be a nice little tie-in regardless.

Eddie Bloomberg/Kid Devil aka Red Devil

Blue Devil has made a few minor appearances in Seasons 1 & 2 and given how Kid Devil was once his sidekick in the comics, I think there’s a decent chance Red Devil we’ll make an appearance.

He’s a character who I think many people might not know about or at least not a lot about; and YJ does like to shine a light on those characters.

Eddie started out as human kid/teenager who became Kid Devil - sidekick to Blue Devil. He ended up making a deal with a demon and got demonic powers and looks to match - possibly related to that, he had a falling out with Blue Devil and stopped being his sidekick.

I’m pretty fuzzy on the details of his story, as I’m not super familiar with his character; but the broad strokes that I do know, I think could really work for YJ.

He starts out as the sidekick of Blue Devil (maybe he knows the team), but he has a falling out with Blue or goes off on his own – and gets his demonic powers, becoming Red Devil. Or something like that.

As he becomes Zatanna’s protégé (trying to learn to control his magical powers), he also has to work on his strained relationship with Blue Devil.

It could be a similar story to Red Arrow’s from Season 1, a nice throwback with a new character. And a character who while being new, does already have some slight groundwork laid out for his introduction - with Blue Devil already existing in YJ.

Again, I’m just throwing ideas out here and speculating.

Zachary Zatara

Several people have pointed out that Zachary is a more likely candidate to be Zatanna’s new protégé than Raven is - who was the first person I thought of - given how Zachary is Zatanna’s cousin.

And yeah, I think there’s a decent enough chance for him becoming a character in Season 4.

He’s related to a former member of the OG Team and like Eddie, he’s not really a character many people are super familiar with, so that could work in his favor.

It could also be fun to have someone back on the team who has magic like Zatanna and if Zachary was part of the team, we would probably see more of Zatanna – which would be great.

One problem I do have though, is if he does exist in this universe - why didn’t Zatanna move in with his parent(s) (her aunt or uncle) when her father became the host for Doctor Fate.

Of course, that could just be because in season one they had never intended for him to exist in the show, but now things have changed.

And in Season 2, we were given no indication that Beast Boy had been with the Doom Patrol or that they had died tragic deaths in between the time his mother died and when he joined the team. So yeah....

Zachary is a likely candidate to be added, especially in regard to Zatanna have multiple protégés (or at least 2).

Rachel Roth/Raven

Unlike Starfire, Raven’s main story arc involving Trigon doesn’t really relate to what has been going on in Young Justice so far. Nonetheless, it seems very likely she’ll be included - given the popularity of TT, plus Nightwing, Beast Boy, and Cyborg being prominent characters.

Raven shouldn’t be limited by the existence of Trigon; as you easily have Raven in a story, without Trigon being front and center, in my opinion. And, it would be nice seeing other storylines involving Raven that don’t include Trigon, or at least not having him be a major factor.

There’s nothing specific that makes me think Raven will be introduced in Season 4, but –

She could definitely be Zatanna’s new protégé or at least one of them. And, while in the comics Zatanna and Raven haven’t always gotten along – there’s no reason that has to be the case in YJ. Plus, in Bombshells, Raven is Zatanna’s pseudo/adopted daughter.

Though, I think Raven being the protégé of Doctor Fate might work a bit better.

Also, in regard to my personal theory that magic will become more prominent, Raven would be a great way to go about doing that, especially with her wide range of powers and abilities.

While, I don’t think a story needs Trigon to have Raven – her being the daughter of one of the great evils of the universe, could certainly be a bonding element for her and the other heroes who also have supervillain relatives.

Plus, Raven being the portal to Trigon (this seemingly unstoppable force) could be something interesting to explore in regards to Darkseid’s and the Light’s plans. Maybe Darkseid and the Light would perceive Raven as a major threat and want to get rid of her and perhaps even the good guys would also see her as a threat that needs to be stopped.

There’s just so much that YJ could do with Raven. And while I would love for her a main or secondary character, I think she could be an interesting neutral party or a single-episode character.

There are many other magical characters that could be introduced to YJ, but it feels silly to list a whole bunch of characters, just because they have magic.

Part V: Random Characters

Rose Wilson/Ravager and Joe Wilson/Jericho

Two of Deathstroke’s children who operate as heroes. I can see a lot being done with these two in YJ, especially with Deathstroke being a member of the Light. They could potentially bond with the other characters who also have supervillain parents and maybe even bond with Tara over the terrible parenting skills of Deathstroke. .

Natasha Irons/Steel aka Starlight aka Vaporlock

Natasha is the niece of John Henry Irons/Steel who had a very minor role in Season 3, but nonetheless was introduced to the audience. In addition, Natasha has been associated with Infinity Inc, Lex Luthor’s group of “superheroes” who were also introduced in Season 3.

And while I could be mistaken, as I don’t know much about her, when she was part of Infinity Inc., she was injected with a serum that unlocked her meta-gene, giving her powers.

Natasha could possibly be introduced in Season 4, as a lot of the elements to her story, are already part of Young Justice.

Green Lanterns

I think there’s a decent chance of us meeting a new Green Lantern, especially a younger one - as they would be a member of the Covert Team or the Outsiders.

Jessica Cruz/Green Lantern

She's recently been popularized or at least introduced to many fans through the show DC Superhero Girls (2019) and I think if there was a combination of that version and her comic book counterpart – you could have a really compelling character for YJ.

In the comics, Jess suffers from extreme anxiety, which is such an interesting and unique folly for a Green Lantern to have. And, I just think there’s a lot of story potential to be explored in that dilemma.

Keli Quintela/Teen Lantern

From what I’ve seen of Keli, I think she could be a fun addition. Just for the sheer fact that she uses the Green Lantern power completely different than every other Lantern we’ve seen – that alone is enough reason for her to be added.

Kyle Raynor

One of the major Green Lanterns of DC. Like the two ladies above, there’s nothing specific with what we’ve been given so far in YJ to indicate he’ll be included, but I just think because of his status among fans, if the show was to introduce another GL – he has a decent shot.

Vic Sage/Question

Since Season 1, I thought Question would be a great addition to the hero side – as the typical conspiracy stuff he obsesses over and discovers to be true, actually does align with what The Light has consistently been doing.

In general, he would be a fun character to add. Also, if we’re thinking of potential new protégés - Vic Sage could be the current Question and there could be a young (or at least somewhat young) Renee Montoya - under his care/tutelage. Or Renee could just be Question - either works for me.

I loved Question in JLU and would love to see him again.

Finally,

Wally West/ Kid Flash (former)

I think there’s a very good chance we’ll see the return of Wally in Season 4. Especially since Season 3 left us with many little hints that he’s not really dead.

Also, in regards to the idea that the tagline of “Phantoms” could be about the team’s personal ghosts haunting them, well Wally is a ghost for many of our characters - so that fits rather perfectly.

Or, maybe he ended up in the Phantom Zone. Or if ‘Phantoms’ is referring to more literal ghosts, even that still works in regards to Wally, as he’s presumed dead. Or maybe, he was jumped through time and somehow ended up in the 31st century (w/ the Legion of Super-Heroes).

Maybe I’m wrong, but it just seems very likely Wally will be returning.

And now we’re finally done.

As I’ve mentioned before, this is just my own speculation and I’m sure I’ve missed several characters. Also, I obviously don’t think all of these characters will be introduced in Season 4, but to me they all have somewhat of a chance.

And yeah...that’s it.

I hope you enjoyed this extremely long list of characters who I think could be introduced in Season 4 of Young Justice.

#Young Justice #YJ #Young Justice Season 4 #Young Justice Phantoms #YJ Phantoms #YJ Season 4 #YJ Season 3 #Young Justice Season 3 #Young Justice Outsiders #YJ Outsiders #DC #DC Comics

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cuttlefishkitch · 4 years

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hello! i haven't talked to you before, but ron said that i could ask you for some advice on writing eds? (i'd like to know things to avoid/common things that could come up in everyday life that would be good to mention/the sort of aids and stuff they'd have maybe?/anything else you think is relevant)

Hi! Sorry this took so long, a combination of ADHD and chronic pain slowed me way the fuck down. Thank you for being patient!

EDIT: WEIRD HEEL THINGS I FORGOT!!

So, before I get into this I should probably say I technically haven’t been diagnosed with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome (EDS for anyone reading) because it’s one of those syndromes that takes forever to get diagnosed with (it took a friend of mine’s mother over 30 years to get dxed). Many doctors, and everyone I know who does have EDS agree with me that it’s probably what causes my chronic joint pain and some of my other chronic issues. But just because three separate doctors have said “Yeah Probably” doesn’t mean I’m diagnosed!! Only a geneticist can do that!! And they had two-three year waitlists BEFORE the apocalypse happened.

I am diagnosed with Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS), Small Fiber Neuropathy, and potentially misdiagnosed with Fibromyalgia (once I get properly tested for EDS I might get undiagnosed with this because I don’t have most of the main symptoms of Fibro, but I got diagnosed with it anyway because it’s what doctors misDX you with when they don’t know what’s wrong with you and don’t want to do more tests).

All that said, I’ve done a lot of research about EDS (mainly because it’s the only thing that explains all my symptoms since doctors seem incapable of doing so), and know a few people who have either confirmed or suspected EDS, so I’ll link to some stuff, talk about the symptoms that often come with EDS, explain how the symptoms I have affect me, because just because someone’s not diagnosed doesn’t mean they aren’t having symptoms, and probs elaborate a bit about writing physical disabilities and chronic pain in general because it’s super important to me!

So RESOURCES aka how to make sure your post never sees the light of day because you’re linking things and tumblr hates it when people give other people information!!

Youtubers! If you want to know about the day to day of living with EDS or any disability or chronic illness I super suggest finding a youtuber that makes videos about their life. My EDS favorites are

Jessica Kellgren-Fozard

Annie Elainey

Amy Lee Fisher

Websites! If you’re asking random folks on tumblr I’m assuming (and hoping) you’ve already done the basic WebMD google searches and looked over the seemingly ridiculous lists of symptoms and related conditions, so here are a few websites that are made more for people than for doctors.

The Ehlers Danlos Society

OhTWIST (That’s Why I’m So Tired)

ChronicPainPartners (the fact that they have an entire section of articles called “Dealing with Doctors” should really tell you something)

Books! If you feel like doing actual reading! I suggest reading books written by people with Ehlers Danlos, to get a feel for how they portray themselves. I’m not saying steal, but it’s probably a good point of comparison to see how your portrayal feels. (haven’t actually read these b/c my ADHD doesn’t let me read)

Ria Ruse by Morgan S. Ray (a superhero book with a disabled super MC!!)

Mysteries of Maybelle by Imani Benfell (Imani is still in high school and has already written and self-published a book cause she didn’t have enough representation for herself how cool is she!!)

Bodies in Motion by Liana Brooks (tw for pregnancy problems and miscarriages in the link, because it’s a blog post talking about integrating EDS symptoms into the story without explicitly naming them as such)

OKAY, now for some rambling about EDS SYMPTOMS!!!

Ehlers Danlos is one monster of a genetic condition in complexity and variety. There are THIRTEEN different identified types of EDS, it often comes with Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (MCAS) and/or POTS, and can lead to various other conditions like gastroparesis, chiari malformation, craniocervical instability, and/or bad teeth. So if you’re going to be writing a character with EDS consider what other comorbid conditions they might also have. I’m mainly going to be talking about Hypermobile EDS (hEDS) because it’s what I probably have and what I’m most familiar with. That said there is a lot of overlap in symptoms with the other varieties.

I started typing this section and realized I was going to have to break it down even more so we’re going to talk about Chronic Pain, Unstable Joints (Dislocations and Subluxations), Skin Things, Mobility Issues, and Other Weird Shit and how those things get addressed separately.

Gonna get the Other Weird Shit out of the way first. Because EDS is a malfunction of connective tissue it can fuck up all sorts of random things. For instance, I and many other people w/ hEDS have trouble swallowing. Shit gets stuck in my throat, I sometimes choke on and have to cough up food, and pills can be hard to swallow, which sucks cause I take A Lot Of Pills. If it doesn’t cause full-on gastroparesis it can cause IBS or other digestive problems b/c the digestive tract is mostly made of connective tissue. It can potentially cause heart problems even if they aren’t as big of a risk as in some other forms of EDS. Premature osteoarthritis is common because what you need is more joint pain. And Fatigue OH BOY THE FATIGUE. And of course the headaches, can’t forget those pesky migraines can we!

AND piezogenic papules!! I completely forgot!! Piezogenic papules are little white bumps that appear when you put weight on your heel. In some people they hurt, but in others they don’t. They’re technically tiny little herniations of fat peaking through the fascia in the heel. They were added as part of the diagnostic criteria for hEDS in 2017!

Now for Skin Things cause it’s not as big a thing in hEDS as it is in other forms. Basically, in a lot of forms of EDS, the skin is extra stretchy and extra delicate. It bruises and tears easily, people with the extreme versions of this can accidentally scratch something into an open wound if they aren’t careful. My skin is pretty soft and sensitive, I def have the typical velvety skin, and as is pretty par for the course of someone with hEDS my skin is a little stretchy, and sorta delicate. I’m not as tissue-papery as some people get, but I almost always have at least one mystery bruise or scrape b/c existing is hazardous. Most of scars are also pretty normal, unlike the extremely papery and atrophic scars (though I have a few tiny acne scars that are atrophic) that are common with other kinds of hEDS. Something that I DO have is Lots of Stretch Marks, all over my thighs, and even down to my calves. Which wouldn’t be abnormal, except for the fact that I’ve never been over 145 lbs and I’ve never been pregnant. Having a lot of stretch marks or striations in the skin without due cause happens because the structure of the skin isn’t as strong as it is in people with a normal amount of connective tissue.

I don’t have to worry as much about my skin but people that do are usually very careful with adhesives because they can irritate or tear the skin, which sucks when you need a lot of bandaids cause your darn skin won’t do its job.

Now on to the meatier stuff and since I’m mostly working backward let’s do Mobility Issues!! These can happen in loads of ways, but a lot of what causes these in people with EDS are the other two things I wanna talk about. Unstable joints lead to increased risk of injury when doing stuff people with fully functioning joints can do.

For context, I’m an ambulatory wheelchair user, meaning I can walk, but a lot of the time it’s better if use a chair. Mine is mostly for my POTS symptoms, but the fact that my legs aren’t also in absolute agony is a big plus. I use a custom manual wheelchair with a SmartDrive (b/c I’m very fucking fortunate and have good insurance) whenever I leave the house and have to be “walking” for more than a few minutes at a time. I can’t fully self-propel in a manual chair because it would be damaging to the joints in my arms and hands, but the smaller chair is easier to maneuver in less than accessible spaces (like almost everywhere). There was about a month-long span where I used a very cheap and very bulky electric chair while I was waiting on the ideal set up I have now. Before that, I also briefly used, and sometimes still use, an up-right posture cane.

People with EDS have widely varying mobility issues because of how uniquely it can manifest. My cane only gave me a little help with balance because if I used it in any prolonged capacity any pain it took away from my legs was relocated to my arms, and as an artist, my arms are more important to me!

If you’re going to write a character with EDS having mobility issues as a result of their EDS the best thing to do is to narrow down their specific needs. Are their knees complete and utter garbage but their shoulders and wrists strong? Maybe they can get away with using a cane. Can they not stand for longer than 5 minutes because of the vertigo from their POTS? Maybe they need a manual wheelchair. Would propelling themself damage their back and arm joints? An electric chair might be necessary! Plenty of people with EDS use all sorts of combinations of these aides to get around their life, consider how your character’s good and bad days would be. Do they have back up plans if they overestimate themselves? There can be a lot to manage, but don’t let it scare you off! Sometimes I try and make it into a resource management game (because I’m a game designer and that’s what I do), to make evaluating my energy and mobility needs more fun!

But now let's tackle some of the reasons those mobility aides might be needed. Unstable Joints.

Ever stepped wrong and rolled your ankle? It hurts for a few steps and then kinda fixes itself, or maybe it bothers you for the rest of the day and you put it up and ice it when you get home? When I was walking around outside my house that would happen AT LEAST once a month, usually more. Some times I’m sitting wrong and when I get up my knee isn’t a knee anymore and decides to just give out from under me. My knuckles are made of unruly popcorn and they Don’t Want To Stay Home!! Oh! And my shoulder is more often out a little out of its socket than it is fully in.

Unstable joints lead to Dislocations and Subluxations of varying intensity, and some people get them more frequently than others. Some can be severe enough to necessitate hospital visits and even surgery, some subluxations are so banal (like my fUCKING SHOULDER) that you just learn to live with the pain.

If a character is going to be in high action, combat-heavy scenarios, chances are they’re going to be popping out joints left and right. Hell, depending on the severity of their joint laxity they could be doing the same sitting at a desk. Again, it’s incredibly varied. I’d suggest setting some sort of baseline for yourself, of what a character’s joints can and can’t stand up to, and maybe do some research on which joints are most likely to pop out in general (hips and shoulders are big culprits being the wacky ball and socket motherfuckers they are). Then maybe have something pop out or hold up every so often when it shouldn’t cause hey! EDS is kinda just like that! Unpredictable!

Some ways people manage joint laxity is with braces, KT tape, and physical therapy. Braces come in many different forms, since I’m currently getting pretty much no treatment for my shitty joints I use mostly compression braces made for sporty people. It really is amazing how much a bit of tight fabric can do to keep my wrist in place.

More specialized braces often have solid parts to prevent the joints from hyper-extending (bending the wrong way) and causing further damage. If you ever see someone with what looks like diamond shaped rings around a bunch of their finger joints, chances are those are Ring Splints, and are there to keep the finger shaped like a finger. I want to get my hands on some and get some on my hands Very Badly, because my fingers hyper-extend SO MUCH when I type, and it makes my hand pain way way worse.

KT tape is another thing people often use. It’s stretchy tape you put on your skin and it basically functions kinda like a second ligament as well as reinforcing the joint and keeping the bones mostly where they’re supposed to be. The problem with this is a lot of people with EDS have very sensitive and fragile skin like I mentioned before, so KT tape can cause allergic reactions, chronic skin irritation, or just straight up take the skin with it when someone goes to remove it. Hence a lot of folks are really careful with it.

Physical Therapy is kinda the best (and only) treatment for joint laxity aside from Very Invasive and sometimes Highly Experimental surgery. It focuses on strengthening the muscles around the joints so they can do the work all those bone ropes made of body glue can’t. The problem is finding a physical therapist that 1) knows what EDS even is, 2) knows you have it, and 3) knows how to treat it without doing stuff that’ll Phucking Hurt You Worse!! Because exercising wrong with EDS can do Permanent Damage!!!

Again most folks use a combination of all of these things, or have next to no access to them b/c healthcare sucks.

Anyway, on to one of my favorite topics, Chronic Pain!! One of the reasons this post took me so long!!!

Chances are if your character has chronic pain as a result of their EDS there are gonna be some things they hate, including stairs, rain, thunderstorms, stairs, hills, uneven terrain, oh and did I mention stairs??? It’s going to vary person to person, but almost everyone I’ve met with pain from EDS has complained about their knees. For me the most debilitating pain is in my fingers and wrists. They’re by far my least stable joints but I use them constantly for stuff like drawing, typing, and sewing.

Because my joint pain is so wide spread, like most people’s with hEDS, it effects every single part of my day to day life. I can’t carry a heavy ceramic plate, open a bottle, or even use my computer without pain. It’s practically impossible for me to get comfortable in any position be it sitting or laying down, and as you can imagine that makes it hard to sleep a lot of the time. Moving too much hurts, but so does sitting still. I’m constantly taking braces on and off or cracking/stretching my joints so they pop back into place and hurt less.

Also being in pain makes everything else That Much Worse. I get tired way faster than I did before my pain was this bad (I had chronic pain for a while before actually realizing it wasn’t normal to not be able to walk down the block without feeling like your foot bones are trying to escape). My sensory issues and anxiety disorder are more easily aggravated because my base level of comfort is way worse. It fucks with my depression. And OH BOY does it make my ADHD worse because being in pain is fucking distracting as hell and makes it harder to make decisions and switch tasks. Also my ADHD often makes my other symptoms worse cause I forget to take my meds, don’t drink enough water, or can’t find my fucking braces because the item eating black-hole that comes with ADHD stole them. The intersection of mental and physical disabilities is probably a rant for another time though, so back to chronic pain.

Does it suck? Yes, undoubtedly. Is this incredibly debilitating? Of course it is, I spent the last several months unable to feed myself without assistance because there was a staircase between my room and the kitchen and I could only manage to climb it once a day. Is it overwhelming? Definitely, I’ve frequently broken down crying from a combination of pain and frustration because I’m having a bad day and there’s no relief to be found. Am I able to predict when it’s going to rain with uncanny accuracy because any change in barometric pressure makes me feel like every bone in my body is trying to kill it’s neighbors? You bet your fucking ass I am!! Does it sometimes make me irritable, angry, and occasionally dismissive of when abled people get cold or a temporary injury because the stuff they’re complaining about is my life every single day and all avenues of treatment and recovery I have could take years and still not entirely solve my issues? Yeah, and while I deserve a little extra patience I also have to be sure to check myself because I don’t want to turn into someone who’s nasty to be around. Do I sometimes need to sleep for 17 hours straight because it’s raining, I have migraine, and I’m in too much pain to be conscious? Yup, sometimes a few days in a row. Does living in constant pain mean I’m unable to do all the things I want to and does that sometimes make me wanna curl up in bed and never leave? Yeah, it happens.

But! And here’s the big important but, that’s not everything! I still write, draw, and talk to my friends!! It might take me a little longer but I get there. I’m still happy and excitable and make the time to write out five page long posts about EDS because it’s something I’m passionate about! My chronic pain doesn’t stop me. I refuse to let it. I never really wanted to go mountain climbing anyway, so I’m perfectly happy being able to make it up and down the six steps in my house, even if sometimes I have to sit and bump down them on my ass, or crawl up them like a cat. Chronic pain isn’t all I am. It isn’t a fate worse than death. It isn’t the only thing your character should talk about (though I do talk about my pain a lot cause I’m a complainer about almost everything). You can have your character be hindered by their pain, realistically they would be. You can have them seek comfort, support, and relief. Other characters can commiserate and be sympathetic, but it doesn’t mean their whole life is going to be one big pity party, that would be incredibly fucking boring. I know I’d be bored out of my mind.

All that said dealing with chronic pain, especially from EDS, is Complicated. Physical Therapy is the gold standard, but like I said before it can be a long and difficult process, and isn’t always accessible. Stabilization methods like I talked about before can help prevent pain, or reduce it by keeping bones mostly where they belong. Heat and cold help joints, relax muscles, and reduce inflammation but keeping them applied is rough and the relief doesn’t always last. Doctors prescribe anti-depressants, anti-anxiety, and sometimes even anti-epileptic medication to help manage pain, but everyone’s mileage with those varies. And I’m not at all qualified to talk in-depth about narcotics or other heavy duty pain-meds, but suffice to say the war on drugs fucked shit up for people that legit need that kind of help BIG TIME.

Now for my closer/bonus rant about EDS and Disability Writing in General!

Everyone always says write what you know, so if you really want to do disabled people justice, get to know disabled people! Make friends with disabled people, get involved with advocacy groups, consume content made by disabled creators both about disability and not! Disabilities are so fucking diverse, even EDS is such a complex disorder, and comes with so many potential co-morbidities, that practically everyone with it has a unique experience. There’s no way I can fully explain everything in a tumblr post. Hell, even if I could talk to you for hours probably couldn’t give you enough info to answer all your questions (especially since I’m still in diagnosis hell :,) ), so talk to a wide range of people with EDS and other disabilities!! I know it sounds like a lot of work but trust me, disabled people are some of the strongest, raddest, coolest, people you will ever meet that it won’t feel like it.

And don’t be afraid either, the fact that EDS and other disabilities are so wildly varied means that you have a little bit of wiggle room with your character’s experience. There’s so little disability rep out their I think people are WAY to scared to try their hand at writing it. So long as your character is a fully developed person in addition to being disabled, you give some logical thought as to how it would affect their life, and you don’t make their disability the butt of any joke it isn’t difficult to avoid ableist writing. PLEASE WRITE MORE DISABLED PEOPLE AND PEOPLE WITH CHRONIC PAIN/CHRONIC ILLNESS!!

Okay that’s it, again sorry it took so long for me to get back to you! My fingers were being little pests about it, and my ADHD (which is honestly more disabling than everything else a lot of the time lmao) was being an asshole! Hope this helps, and feel free to ask me more questions if you need clarification! It might take me a bit but I do love talking about this stuff.

#neela-chaan #ehlers danlos syndrome #EDS #hEDS #hypermobile ehlers danlos #disability #writing advice #disability writing #Chronic Pain #asks #SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG IM JUST SLOW #also i'm sorry the formatting is such a wreck #my adhd won't let me go back and fix it #and i've already spent way too much time

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snowdice · 4 years

Text

Gaps in His Files (Part 7) [Relabeled; Refiled Series]

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Relationships: Logan/Patton

Characters:

Main: Logan, Patton

Appear: Remy, Virgil (but only in the epilogue)

Summary:

Logan Berry has learned many things the last 10 years: a lot of math and physics, a bit of humility, and how to be a hero being just a few. Through his education, his experience teaching, and his exploits as the superhero Bluebird, he’s changed in a lot of small and large ways. He has recorded these changes in well-organized documents and files. He’s even had to create two new file designations: a red one for files about his moonlighting at Bluebird, and a light blue one dedicated to his boyfriend, Patton.

When Bluebird is targeted by a memory device and all of those 10 years of progress suddenly disappear, Patton Sanders and Logan’s extensive files are left as his only resource to get those memories back. But what is Patton supposed to do when there are clear gaps in his files? And what does he do when he is one of them?

This is set 25 years before Sometimes Labels Fail though it’s story is completely independent of it and it is not necessary to read that one first.

Notes: Superhero AU, memory loss, past child abuse, past child neglect, unhealthy ideas about ones place in relationships, emotional suppression, self-deprecating thoughts, medical procedures mentioned, very brief unhealthy views of sex

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

After Logan finished eating, Patton showed him his office. First, he was given his personal and work files which were familiar in organizational structure even if they had years’ worth of new information in them and his work files had a new subfolder for teaching instead of being purely for schoolwork. Yet, the thing that most interested Logan was the new file designation which Patton retrieved for him by finding a key in a hidden desk drawer compartment and using it to open a secret compartment in the wall. The files there were red and completely new to Logan. Thankfully, they still had quite a bit of structure that he was able to pick up quickly and there were easy to read tables of contents with understandable subsection titles.

He flipped curiously through the first few. They reflected the story Patton had told him earlier in content as well as form. The beginning files were either blue for work or plain white since his foray into superherodom had started from an academic source.

Though he had not known Logan at the time by his own admission, Patton’s knowledge of his early days of being a superhero were perfectly accurate based on the files. That combined with his knowledge about where the files were in the first place, stroked Logan’s curiosity regarding the man even more. Logan was not a trusting person, at least he had not been at 18, and he imagined not much had changed in the last 10 years. So, he had to wonder what it was about Patton that had made him willing to share so much about his life and clearly heavily protected aspects of his life at that. He did not imagine he would share his exploits as a hero with just anyone.

And, if it were just his exploits as a hero, perhaps he would have even understood that. It was good to have an ally, especially one with useful skills such as a doctor. Yet, Patton’s knowledge went deeper than even that to things more personal, ones not in these files or any of his others. He knew things about Logan: his favorite color, why he prefers some fabrics over others, and stories that had never left his lips in his current memories.

Why? He had to wonder. What made this person so different than everyone else?

Certainly, he could see the appeal of him as a romantic partner in the theoretical sense.

He was a doctor which was useful considering Logan’s superhero status likely led to physical injuries sometimes. In addition, that was a well-paying, respectable job, though it did have an unpredictable work schedule. Achievement in that field spoke of enough intellect to be on par with Logan even if they were in different areas.

He was also clearly adequately skilled in other things. He had managed to find Logan and get him back to his apartment and seemed to have enough emotional control to do what was necessary in the situation.

This was someone he imagined his parents would have likely expected for him as a romantic partner (if they expected anything at all). Though, Logan did have to worry that if they were both not particularly emotionally expressive then there may not be a good balance in the relationship.

Logan watched as he flipped through one of his personal files to get a picture from his college graduation to show him with practiced ease. He was comfortable around Logan’s organizational system, he noted. That was something no one had ever bothered to be before. Most people either tolerated or scorned the way he kept his files, but Patton knew his way around it almost as well as Logan himself, better in fact when it came to the new red files, fingers always flipping to the correct pages in seconds when Logan asked questions.

It was nice to have someone care enough to learn it.

It felt as though something shifted marginally inside his chest at the thought of someone being patient enough to learn how Logan organized his life. To do so was to basically learn how Logan’s mind worked. He… hadn’t known that was something he might want.

Oh.

That, he suddenly knew with clarity, that was why. Or at least part of why. It had to be.

“So,” Patton broached suddenly, likely catching him staring and wonder why, “Why don’t you tell me about yourself?”

Logan blinked at him. “You already know me. Better than I do myself at the moment.”

“Sure, but I’ve only known versions of you that I’ve known.”

“Yes. That is typically how reality works.”

“Well not today,” he pointed out and… fair point. “Plus, maybe you’ll start to remember more if you start talking about yourself. Like when you’re trying to remember the title of a song so you sing the lyrics you know until you get to the point where they use the title in the song.”

Logan considered that. “That sounds like a rational strategy to try. What should I talk about?”

“Well, I know a lot about the events that happened in your life, but not really what you thought about them at the time. What are things you like and dislike in your life right now. You know,” he paused, “what are things you find annoying? Stuff like that.”

“I like coffee,” Logan said after a moment of consideration, “and school. Libraries. I like order and schedules and it makes me uncomfortable when things don’t go to plan. I don’t like impromptu things or eating outside. I don’t really like when people are overly emotional or when they cry mostly because I never know how to respond. I don’t like my English teacher because she once had a mental breakdown crying about a dream she had for 30 minutes when a student asked her if she’d graded our papers. Also, she was homophobic. I like math and science and my parents. Though, I dislike when they insist, I try to go out and “have fun.” I especially disliked when they set me up with a date for the homecoming. When I said I didn’t want to go especially with a girl they set me up with a boy for the next dance which was… nice as they attempted to listen to me, but they entirely missed the point. I dislike messes. I like jam. I want to major in math and physics and get my PhD in at least one… that seemed to work out. My calculus teacher was my favorite even though everyone else seemed to resent her, but we also mostly all passed the advanced placement test, so I think it was worth it. Also, she was kind.”

“You had a homophobic English teacher?” Patton asked.

“Ah, yes, did I never mention?” Logan asked. “She made her views known to a boy in the year below me and got fired a month ago.”

“You never told me about that.”

“Perhaps I decided she was no longer worth dwelling on. The man who took her place seems adequate, though I am not in his class. I also like my current English teacher. She says she got her teaching degree later in life and before that used to be a cultural anthropologist. She tells us stories about different places she’s been.”

Patton smiled. “She sounds interesting,” he said.

“Yes, and it is quite an interesting course. It is an extra one beyond what I must take to graduate. We write a research paper over the course of the entire semester.” Logan paused for a long moment. “This does not seem to be doing anything.”

Patton nodded. “Okay,” he said. “That’s fine. We’ll try something else. Maybe we should have lunch first though.”

Logan was starting to feel a bit hungry. “That is a good idea.”

Want to read more? Click below!

AO3 Part 8

#sanders sides #logan sanders #patton sanders #logicality #tsss #superhero au #memory loss #past child abuse #past child neglect #emotional suppression #self deprecation #gaps in his files #labeled universe #relabeled; refiled #adriana writes

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netflixonyourcouch · 4 years

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The Boys Season 2 (2020)

So I finally finish a 3 day binge of Season 2 of what might be possibly the best show on Amazon Prime, The Boys. My early impressions after having sat with it for less than 15 minutes is that the season was overall great, although it did falter in a few areas that I will address. Spoilers abound.

So let’s start with the positives: The Boys works off the same formula as season 1 which is basically dazzling us with an action/comedy/thriller/drama hybrid. There are a few shocks and twists along the way as well.

Can we take a second though and give praise to the actress who plays Kimiko, Karen Fukuhura. She gives us a masterclass on visual acting. Since she has no spoken lines in the show, we rely on her expressions and reactions to other characters in order to learn her story and she absolutely NAILS it. Lowkey she’s my favorite character on the whole show, and I live to see how she processes conversations and emotions on the show. Absolutely A+.

The show has always been graphically stunning, and this season is no slouch. The visual effects are on par with last season, and I think there were even more impressive scenes of set destruction and utter chaos than last season. The effects team deserves some praise here as well for sure.

We also get some satisfying team-ups between characters this season, and I especially like the scenes of Butcher and Starlight together.

Now, if I may take some time to levy some criticisms of season 2 in 3 main areas. First, I think the show gets a little too mean spirited at times, to the point where it’s actually kind of repulsive. The first instance of this was Homelander bludgeoning the deaf superhero in the head, causing him to writhe around the floor, screaming in a pool of his own blood. The violence on the show is impressive to watch, but we don’t really want to see innocent people brutally hurt, I prefer the character earn their fate. Likewise, watching a little boy getting pushed off a roof - even if there was no harm to him, was equally a little unsettling to watch. There’s other stuff in this season where I’m like, okay, did you really have to do that? hahaha.

This kind of segues into my second criticism: The streak of Homelander and Stormfront being villainous was just plain overwhelming. Stormfront at the very least started off endearing with her wisecracks, but once her true side emerges, the show makes it a point to just pile on the terrorizing that Homelander and Stormfront take part in with the rest of the characters on the show. It becomes exhausting to deal with. And infantilizing Maeve’s sexuality and making a mockery of it was again, just too mean-spirited in my opinion to be an enjoyable plotline. I understand that we’re not SUPPOSED to like the evil on the show, but at some point you have to reel it in.

My third criticism was my main criticism of the first show: What the show is supposed to be critiquing (corporations/government control/alt-right/fascism) is always a little too direct, I think at one point Stormfront utters the line “Make America safe again” and there’s another reference to protesting, which in this racial climate is just a little too “real” in 2020 honestly and is no better than South Park riffing on current events in their too-obvious way.

Now, does The Boys still kick ass? Of course it does. But it’s gonna need to knock a season 3 out of the park. It can’t be the same old/same old. The reveal at the end of this season is HUGE though, and I definitely can’t wait to see where that plotline develops and that character’s motivations and progressions for the next season (And please, if you know where her plot is going because you heard it elsewhere, please let people just discover it when the show presents it lmfao)

But I’m not gonna hold you. Long story less long: This show is amazing and at 8 episodes a season, it makes for a really quick binge watch as well. One can hope for a few tweaks/refinements next go around to keep it from dragging on to too cloying or too dark of a territory though.

#the boys #season 2 #tv review

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sophieellisbextorarchives · 4 years

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Lockdown's dancing queen: Sophie Ellis Bextor explains how she's survived with five sons while performing web concerts from her kitchen - and owes her life to the NHS after almost dying during childbirth

SOURCE: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8371137/Sophie-Ellis-Bextor-talks-surviving-lockdown-five-sons-performing-concerts-kitchen.html

Any mother of five who is still sane after two-and-a-half months of lockdown will surely have some survival tips for the rest of us. And Sophie Ellis-Bextor does indeed have advice.

Come Friday night, when the textbooks have been flung in a corner and you've finished screeching at the kids, you should dig out your heels and put on your sparkliest hot pants, she says.

'If you don't own a sequined one-piece, you should get one,' the singer insists. 'They make you feel like a disco superhero!'

She would also recommend a glitterball to hang in the kitchen. It will distract from the dirty dishes, she says.

Tidying the kitchen is optional, though: 'I do try to but if there's the odd dish in the sink, who cares?'

When the history of the great British lockdown is written, there will be villains (take a bow, Dominic Cummings) and heroes.

And Sophie Ellis-Bextor will surely be in line for a medal, for services to the national dancefloor (kitchen disco division).

Every Friday night for ten weeks she has donned her own glad rags and, via the magic of social media, invited us all to a disco round at hers.

She has been in charge of the mic, singing her own hits (with tweaks) and cover versions of some of her other favourites (speaking of favourite things, she even does a mean Julie Andrews).

Each week she has changed the lyrics of one of her biggest hits, Take Me Home, to the lockdown-friendly Stay At Home. We cheered. We heeded. 'Well, most people did,' she says.

Lots of entertainers have been doing their stuff in lockdown. Few of them have done so with five children in tow, though, and with such pizzazz.

You'd never guess it from the size of her waist but 41-year-old Sophie — whose mother is former Blue Peter presenter Janet Ellis — has five sons, aged from 16 down to 16 months. Her family life has never really been a part of her work.

But at the start of lockdown, something changed and she decided to stop being so precious about the work/home life divide.

'I've always been quite private, never showing the kids' faces, that sort of thing,' she says.

'But suddenly it all felt totally irrelevant. I just had this desire to sort of connect with people, to have fun and do something that just distracted us all — and for me, as an entertainer, that meant getting up and putting on a show.

'If it was going to be a show in my own house, the kids had to be involved as we're all locked down together. That overwhelmed any other emotion, really.

'I said to them, 'We're going to have a party. Do you want to come? What do you want to wear?'

'We pulled out all manner of sequined things we already had. They got out costumes, hats, whatever. There were no rules. They could be in their pyjamas if they wanted, because they often are.

'At the end of the first one, I remember making a joke like, 'This could be the end of my career.' '

In another time, it could have been. What too-cool-for-school singer sashays around the Lego, for goodness' sake? And what pop star hoicks a baby onto her hip, limbos around the lightsabers or attempts some sexy strutting when there is a pint-sized Superman in the way?

'It has been quite surreal, hasn't it?' she says with a laugh. 'But this whole situation is surreal, so I guess it has been fitting.

'We've had all sorts — the kids joining in, or sitting there bored with it all as I dance around them. We've had the baby crawling across the floor, trying to pull the plug out of the router. It's not stuff you normally have to contend with when you go on stage.'

And the performances have been all the more magical for it, I suggest. Her kitchen discos have been in keeping with the national mood, which lurches between delirium and despair and involves much trying to get on with the day job, with the kids at our feet.

All our kids are represented in hers, too. There is Sonny, 16 and a typical teenager, who mostly rolls his eyes at the idea of being in his mum's disco 'but actually he's invaluable because he helps with the baby so I can relax'.

Kit, 11, has 'kind of dipped in and out of the discos. He has missed a few. Sometimes he'd just rather do something else'.

Ray, eight, and Jesse, four, are generally game for anything — but if the children all join in at the same time, while wearing masks, the potential for chaos is high.

Last is baby Mickey, who likes to reach for bright lights. And cables. And sparkly shoes.

'I think what has kept some people tuning in is the music, but others are only watching to see if any of my kids injure themselves,' Sophie says.

People may also be tuning in to see her game attempts at making the most inappropriate songs kid-friendly. Her new repertoire includes the highly suggestive Prince song Gett Off. If the kids ask, it's a song about getting off the climbing frame, she explains.

When we speak, Sophie is preparing for — sob! — the last lockdown disco. Kitchen Disco No 10 will finish with a rousing rendition of the Madness hit Our House, which contains the lines 'Our house it has a crowd/ There's always something happening/ And it's usually quite loud'.

How apt. That sums up family life in all its messy glory.

It will be the end of a very weird chapter for Sophie.

'We could keep going but I'm getting the feeling that lockdown is being eased. There is a different feel, so it's time to stop. Although I'm bad at saying 'never again'.'

It has been a blast — and Sophie admits she has benefited herself.

'The discos have done my soul and my spirit the world of good. I've always turned to music anyway when anything has been happening in my life, good or bad, but I don't know what shape the past few months would have taken without this outlet.

'I've been doing cover versions of songs and they have all basically been like love letters to people I can't see any more.'

Lockdown came earlier for this household than for most of us. One of the children showed symptoms even before the schools closed, so they all isolated early.

That Sophie's stepfather — Janet's husband, John Leach — was having chemotherapy as part of his cancer treatment made the situation even more serious.

They are a close family. Janet, who lives only a few streets away in West London, is used to popping in and out, and provides childcare once a week. Any contact at all between them stopped overnight, as it did for so many families.

'I haven't hugged my mum since I don't remember when,' Sophie says. 'They couldn't leave their house at all at the beginning, so it was a case of leaving some groceries on the doorstep. My stepfather has Stage Four lung cancer and was in the middle of chemo, which had to stop.

'Now, thankfully, it has restarted but it has been a terrible time — devastating, really. For so many families the world has just tilted.' The older children understand why they can't see their grandparents, the little ones less so.

This is a united family (Sophie's mum split from her father, film and television producer Robin Bextor, but they are all on good terms), yet not necessarily one that ever did things by the rulebook.

Many will recall the furore when Janet — then the nation's darling, as many Blue Peter presenters were — fell pregnant with Sophie's brother Jackson. She was unmarried at the time and it was a national scandal.

It sounds as if Janet was the sort of mother Sophie has become — old-fashioned about some things (table manners, eating together) but more relaxed about others. And Mum having a slightly crazy day job was par for the course.

'I remember going with her when she did a skydive. She was in the Guinness Book of Records at one point for the highest-altitude jump for a female. At the time it was just normal.'

Janet didn't mind when Sophie decided she would not go to university because she wanted to join a band. 'Many parents would have said, 'No, we have paid for this private education. You will go,' but they never did. They were completely supportive.'

And of course, it worked out. Sophie started to get attention in the industry in the Nineties with indie band Theaudience — but in 2000 her career went mainstream thanks to a feature spot on the song Groovejet (If This Ain't Love) by Spiller.

Further hits followed. Then, in 2013, she went even more mainstream, signing up for Strictly Come Dancing. Her Charleston was a thing of wonder but she lost in the final to Abbey Clancy.

She knew her husband, The Feeling bassist Richard Jones, for a year before they started dating. When they did, it was something of a whirlwind and she discovered she was pregnant within weeks.

'Sonny was premature, so he was actually born eight months after we got together. Weird maths.'

Then, finding that it was rather fun, they kept having children. 'In a way I think it sort of set the tone, having Sonny so early. We've never really known what it is to be just the two of us.'

Juggling a pop career with five children can't have been easy, but her laid-back approach must help.

Some aspects of her parenting style have come in handy in lockdown, she says. 'I try to get up and dressed myself, but I'm not bothered if they want to stay in their pyjamas,' she admits.

Other aspects of lockdown have been hard. She admits she is not a natural home schooler.

'With five, it has been really difficult keeping up with the school stuff. I think their teachers do a brilliant job and I can't compare.

'At the start I did try hard, but to be honest I was feeling a lot of pressure to be running the home and making them emotionally happy. I quit quite early, realising it was making me really tense and really unhappy.

'We've kept the eldest two doing more formal work (Sonny is in his GCSE year, she explains) but with the little ones it's more about projects they can do.'

She says it isn't practical — or even desirable — to turn their home into a school. 'I'm hoping that home is where they learn to interact with each other, where they learn how to be happy, how to be kind.'

They have all been clapping on the doorstep on a Thursday night, too, aware of the debt they owe the NHS.

Sophie's life was saved by doctors when she suffered from complications during her first two pregnancies and gave birth prematurely both times. Kit weighed just 2 lb 6 oz.

'Anyone who has ever had a loved one's life in the hands of hospital staff knows what it is to feel that gratitude,' Sophie says.

'If it wasn't for them, I wouldn't be here and neither would my first two.

'I'll never forget their faces, the doctors and nurses who treated us in the neonatal unit. You don't, because you owe them everything.'

To be a singer in this climate is perhaps to feel a little superfluous, but Sophie says the only things she can do are sing and dance. The reaction from the wider world to her 'little discos' has been heartwarming.

'If you can make people smile and laugh at how daft it all is, then you make a connection that is actually quite special.'

We are getting all wistful now, when I suggest that her sons will grow up knowing they were a part of something magical. She laughs.

'They are more likely to roll their eyes at their crazy mum dancing around and tell me to keep the noise down!'

#Sophie Ellis-Bextor #Instagram #Daily Mail #Kitchen Disco #article #interview #British #Singer-songwriter

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in-tua-deep · 5 years

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Have you seen stranger things? Because literally all I can think about is a stranger things umbrella academy crossover

I may or may not have bingewatched the entire new season yesterday (the scoops troop has all my uwus I thought there was going to be forced romance but instead there was canon LGBT+ rep #bless) but you’re very valid but there are many ways to do a crossover!!

Like a general crossover where both shows are still separate and, for example, when Five jumps he accidentally brings his siblings to the past in Hawkins, Indiana where they have to deal with the general absolute nonsense that being in the town entails while probably being mistaken for escaped experiments by the party after calling Five by his name ? I can just picture the kids trying to catch Five or something to take to El because they assume he’s her brother or something goodness (and also this one would probably differ depending on whether the squad was deaged to thirteen again or stayed at 29)

or an integrated crossover where, after numbers one through seven left/were failures Reggie-Papa (as an integrated person? the same person?) and say he joined the government (or maybe always was?) and started experiments anew with ?? both kids they find and maybe the kids of the original 43? because Kali was what, number eight? and El is eleven so technically it could line up if you just bump Kali’s age up a tiny bit (from 25 to 29) and pretend El’s mum was much younger when she was born (and of course if you fudge up timelines a little bit, but that isn’t too difficult considering despite being ‘present day’ the Umbrella Academy universe’s tech is pretty on par with Hawkins era stuff) which would mean that El actually IS their little sister that none of them knew about (and presumably that they have three more on top of that that are who knows where)

wait in an integrated au maybe Five got stuck in the upside down instead of the apocalypse hello yes and maybe instead of the Commission and stuff and him jumping back, maybe Eleven pulls him out of the Upside Down or opens the door and Five decides to take his chances and jump through himself or something and because time works differently in the upside down that’s why he’s still a kid/his powers were goofed up over there idk i’m just kind of spitballing here tbh

Klaus, looking at a demodog or demogorgan or mindflayer or whatever: wow Ben you didn’t tell me your cousins were coming round to dinner

I genuinely can’t tell whether Five/some other Hargreeves would cheerfully allow the party into life threatening danger or try and keep them away from it because, to technical adults the party must seem awfully young but also they were superheroing and yeeting themselves (or rather, being yeeted by Reggie) into danger soooo

but if they did try protect the kids, also pointing at Nancy/Jonathan/Steve/Robin like “babies. you all are babies. children.” because the difference between 17/18 and 29 is a whole world tbh and then honestly Joyce and Hopper are looking at the Umbrella Academy like “y’all are too young for this as well idk why y’all are being hypocrites” because they’re both like,, in their forties and the umbrella academy are in their twenties (even if only barely)

and if you wanted to switch up the squad’s ages as well to make ‘em different and do away with the whole 43 children born randomly bit and fully graft the umbrella squad into the stranger things universe you could probably get away with that as well in which case I have no idea how old they would be tbh though presumably Five would stay physically thirteen (or ten depending if you wanted to go comics or show canon)

heck i dunno if you want to yeet me a more specific ask about a crossover I can probably spitball up an au for that but there are just too many possibilities to get into on a single post oops

(Steve is my fav stranger things character based solely on s2/s3 since i hated him s1 lmao but Robin has also clawed a space for herself in my heart what a blessed friendship,,,, I absolutely adored the new season up until the end which ripped my heart out :( i miss alexei)

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why-this-kolaveri-machi · 5 years

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Grand Titans Rewatch: 1.02

it’s been literal months since i started this project and neither this nor the fic series that’s supposed to go alongside it has garnered much attention, if any, but damn it, i made a commitment and this time, i’m going to follow through.

for reference, episode 1’s recap here, and its corresponding fic tag is here.

SPOILERS ahead for pretty much the entire series.

1. the recap portion of the episode leans very heavily on the type of horror genre that rachel’s character brings to the show, and honestly, i love it. the superhero genre can feel very… sterile at times, with bright, clean colours and costumes and standard team-ups ending in a climactic punch-fest. the insidious horror of rachel discovering something huge and dangerous inside of her and trying—and largely failing—to control it bleeds into the rest of the show; each of the team has an inner demon to battle, but the lesson isn’t triumph over the beast as much as it is acceptance. it’s unfortunate that the dc live action universe in general has developed a reputation for being gratuitously grimdark; i love the thematic consistency that the tone brings to the show, and it is honestly the freshest take on these characters that i’ve seen so far.

1.5. there’s something to be said, too, about this muddy-window perspective we get into these established superheroes’ lives—the intriguing, sometimes downright opaque scenes of them trying to re-build from wreckage. i love that this is how they choose to distinguish themselves in a very, very crowded arena: the origin story here is not for the superheroes or even the team themselves, but the bonds they form and the family that they become.

2. i kinda love the clash between the goofy costume and the grimdark torture scene. it’s never immediately obvious, but this show is remarkably committed to its comic book roots—so much so that it’s kind of jarring. usually in the journey from the comic to the screen there is an ironing-out of genre and tone, but this show will show you its spandex clad hero with the plastic-feather cape being threatened with torture and castration because that’s how it goes in the comics, goddammit!

2.25. it’s pretty impressive that they’re able to afford such a big place in washington dc

2.5. hank and dawn’s easy intimacy is lovely to watch. i remember not being fond of this long detour to introduce these two relatively obscure characters right after all that juicy set-up in the first episode the first time i watched this, but now i can enjoy the languid way their story unravels, the little glimpses we get into the life they’ve led and the marks that it has left behind.

2.8. a delightfully cheesy moment with the giant bird cage immediately followed by a quietly devastating depiction of sexual impotence and a possible addiction to multiple painkillers! see what i mean?

oh! and before i forget:

MIRRORS, MIRRORS, EVERYWHERE: 9

3. flashback time! can’t say that i’m terribly impressed with the fight choreography; there appears to be hardly any contact between the heroes’ kicks and lunges and the thugs they’re supposed to be fighting, and a lot of slow-motion and editing trickery needs to be employed to make this look kinetic. i don’t really blame them much, though—those capes look awfully cumbersome to be just walking around in, leave alone fight. and i’m glad that the show is making a point of showing that robin’s style of fighting in flippier and more acrobatic than the others’.

3.65. aaaand we get our first hint of History between dick and dawn. to be honest, given what i remember of the rest of s1 and what we know of s2, it does seem like they’re making it so that the original titans did exist, swapping out roy and wally for hank and dawn. i’m not super-enthusiastic about this decision, but we’ll see how it plays out.

4. dick and rachel!

I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS INTERACTION:

a) rachel desperately trying to hide how scared and vulnerable she feels behind brittle defiance

b) dick bemused and concerned and casting around for ways to connect with her but giving up too easily

c) “for the lady” – oh, dick. i love you.

d) rachel warily checking her reflection

e) dick making false promises of safety to rachel in order to get her to come with him to washington—a manipulative little ploy that i’m sure was par-for-the-course during his time with batman

f) “but sometimes there’s no time to be scared” is that what kid!dick told himself when he was starting out as robin oh my heart hurts

g) dick just dropping out of his job for an indefinite time without notice because why in the world would bruce wayne’s ward ever have to worry about keeping down a steady job? he’s utterly unconscious of this, which makes it hilarious

MIRRORS, MIRRORS EVERYWHERE: 10

5. i’m already really fond of rohrbach and charlie the m.e. i know s2’s slate is already really crowded, but i wouldn’t mind seeing a resurrected rohrbach make an appearance, and for bit more of a spotlight on dick’s day job.

6. OH MAN i honestly didn’t remember that dick phoned alfred this episode! and that he considered—for a second—calling bruce! poor guy’s genuinely scared. for all his ‘fuck batman’s, dick’s anger and fear is more internally directed than he realises. this boy needs therapy.

6.5. dick going “… obviously” at rachel telling him not to get pineapple on their pizza makes me think he was definitely setting out to get pineapple on their pizza at that moment.

6.75. oh fuck. i knew it was coming, but that dead guy screaming at rachel through the photo was still terrifying. man i wish they’d stuck a little longer with the horror/mystery vibe they’ve got going here.

MIRRORS, MIRRORS EVERYWHERE: 11

6.8. dick immediately reaching out to hold rachel and comfort her as she sobs, terrified, in the bathtub shouldn’t feel particularly special or heartwarming—it’s a very natural, human instinct, after all—but for this particular version of dick grayson to automatically show this compassion when he’s half convinced himself that his lifetime as a vigilante has left him an amoral husk of his previous self… is significant.

7. it’s an interesting choice to go with the nuclear family as the first major villains featured on this show, but fits totally with the tone so far—the dark, despairing and dank things that hide underneath a cracking veneer of cheery suburban normality. pretty standard horror genre stuff—with an added twist that these people aren’t actually androids, but regular people horrifically tortured and brainwashed to act as murder machines.

7.5. aside from that, it’s a neat contrast to the found family that’s actually starting to evolve, with all of its rough edges and imperfect but raw displays of love.

8. i really like that, for all that rachel and dick have in common, their interaction is weird, start-stop in nature, each dancing around answering the others’ questions with any kind of honesty. rachel has clearly picked up on dick’s caginess around her and dick, for all that he’s been trained in subterfuge and basically been living a lie to most of his friends and co-workers, is unable to keep acting like he knows what he’s doing. he hasn’t had to really live a double life in a while—and he’s rusty when it comes to doing anything that’s not detective or vigilante work.

8.5. dick’s interactions in general through the series contrast with the easy and intimate ways the others talk with each other; he’s just so isolated and so friggin rusty at this.

9. you’d think rachel would’ve figured out by now not to shake random people’s hands.

9.25. i’m so happy about this show’s commitment to showing just how much of a hot mess dick is.

9.35. i’ve certainly warmed up to the icy, washed-out way this show looks, and the general sense of… space, both in terms of physical space as well as the way each scene is allowed to unfold and just breathe. you don’t get that a lot in superhero media these days.

9.45. an update to the dick grayson timeline! dawn says she hasn’t seen dick in four years and seems genuinely surprised to learn that he’s working with the police now. so how do you go from zero to detective in just four years? is that even possible? the timeframe becomes even shorter if you assume that he only decided to join law enforcement after leaving batman. maybe that’s just another thing that dick kept hidden from his friends, even when they were, you know, friends.

anyway, dick continues to be a hot mess, and i am glad that is consistent over every on-screen iteration.

9.5. i am genuinely unsure why this dick/dawn history exists other than to create some weird conflict between hank and dick. i’d much rather that conflict come from dick being an asshole generally and dropping all contact with his friends when it all became just Too Much To Deal With.

10. OH MAN so him contacting alfred was to arrange a big sum of money to pay off hank and dawn?? yep, dick is 100 percent bruce wayne’s protégé. i’m sure he also thinks of this as a way to help hank recover and for hank and dawn to rebuild their post-vigilantism life. this is a terrible way to deal with your guilt, my friend.

and i love that all of this—the mistakes he’s making with rachel despite his genuine concern for and desire to help her, the way he’s unable to really talk to her instead of at her, his false platitudes when he thinks he has nothing to say—is a plausible reflection of the ways bruce floundered with him when he first took dick in. dick has spent so, so long as bruce’s sole heir; though i’m sure they learned to communicate better, the core dysfunction of his relationship with bruce is embedded in his bones.

but the show is clearly setting up the dick-rachel relationship to evolve—and in doing so, have dick come to terms with his own relationship with bruce, instead of spinning increasingly bitter and dark memories of it in his head.

all said, tho: what a dick move. in every sense of the word.

11. aaand here’s why i never understand criticism of this show that says dick is too dark: it’s just so typical of him to hold himself to insane standards and just cut loose and run whenever he feels he’s failed those standards. it’s why he’s always among the first choices to lead a team but his leadership almost never sustains very long. it’s why he’s everybody’s friend but so desperately, desperately alone, especially when it’s his turn to spiral and need help. it’s why when he is spiralling, he adopts spectacularly self-destructive methods to do so. standing aside while zucco died is essentially his (infamous) blockbuster moment, when he so egregiously compromised his moral code that he was forced to re-evaluate the very core of what he’d identified as for decades. he hates himself, but he splits the blame, recognising the very real damage being robin did to him but pinning everything that’s wrong with him on it.

this tracks with every version of dick grayson that i can think of, bar the golden age/silver age comics, more contemporary nightwing runs—especially after his stint as batman with damian as robin—where he’s matured a bit and more level-headed, and, of course, fanon.

11.5. but while dick is wrestling with himself, actual people do get hurt and lost on the wayside. i’m glad that this show is not shying away from showing that.

12. maaan you really, really didn’t have to do this to anyone, leave alone someone as prominent in nightwing’s history as amy rohrbach. still holding out hope that she’ll return somehow next season.

13. rachel using dick’s own words to get him to help hank and dawn… oh fuck yes.

13.5. to be perfectly honest, i quite enjoyed robin as this menace in the shadows, taking thugs down brutally when they can’t even see him. you never see hyper-competent robin on-screen anymore.

13.75. also? hank and dawn’s genuine horror at his brutality is another giant indicator that this is not a dick grayson who’s functioning optimally, by any standard. he needs a place to start growing from, and this is it.

14. dick getting called out on his bullshit is pretty satisfying to watch, no lie.

14.5. i’d forgotten just how brutally the nuclear family defeat hank, dawn, and dick. yikes.

14.8. that last shot of dick desperately trying to save dawn’s life while having flashbacks to his own parents falling to their deaths is so fucking haunting, holy shit.

15. that was… honestly so good, you guys! i remember seeing this episode for the first time and feeling a little irritated with the languid pacing and the way it seemed sort of like filler. but there’s so much great stuff that stands out to me on re-watch—this show genuinely rewards multiple viewings, even when you know what’s coming next.

#titans #meta #dick grayson #rachel roth #hank hall #dawn granger #a byronic cupcake #a gothic cookie #grand titans rewatch 2k19 #i actually had this almost fully typed out a few months ago #lost the whole thing in a computer crash #felt so dispirited it took me ages to get this thing going again #but by GOD i am going to finish this fucking project

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emzymakesbelieve · 5 years

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not to be fake deep but let's talk about all your old walt babies that you haven't mentioned (because i love the hainline's okay and you and all your kids and i miss you

Send me an old muse and I’ll gush about them.

oKAY SIT DOWN AND BUCKLE UP, KIDDOS.

(I love you, too, sweet pea. *smooch*)

Frank Hainline

So Frank is a prick, to start off, but he’s my prick and you’re not allowed to trash talk him without my say so (which of course you have because he’s A PRICK). He was the kind of kid who wore an anarchy symbol on his jacket but never actually did anything to represent or invoke anarchy. He’s also a gigantic slut and can’t keep his pants zipped for longer than ten minutes. Fidelity is not this man’s middle name (*CoUgH* illegitimate child he never knew about). He definitely wasn’t ready to become a father when Victoria got pregnant (and more or less trapped him into marriage), but by the time baby Penelope came, he devoted every ounce of energy he could to making sure she had a good life, and the two of them actually grew very close. He passed away from cancer when Penelope was about ten.

Norma Hainline

Penelope’s eldest. The two most important things you need to know about Norma are that she’s a dancer and she’s gay as a maypole. Her main focuses are tap and ballet. She loves old Hollywood - she got her start watching Singin’ in the Rain and Fred & Ginger films - but definitely prefers to live in the here and now where she can express herself both as an artist and as a lesbian. The dance world, much as she loves it, is a crusty old institution that needs to break some pointless rules and get over itself. She is also Grade A Mom Friend Extraordinaire™. Her love language is definitely acts of service, particularly making sure you’re eating and sleeping well and taking your medicine on time (though turns out she’s a terrible patient herself). Much to her frustration, her two closet friends - Noah and Nick - are both more or less bent on self destruction and driving her completely bonkers, but she loves them just the same.

Francis Hainline

Francis, the third eldest, has no business being in this family with how shy he is, but nevertheless. Definitely the black sheep of the family, but his siblings defend and support him with everything they have. (Well, Kath usually does it with a lot of sarcasm, but you can tell she loves him.) He’s a total hipster and has a special love for anything that was built before the year 2000. His prize possession is an old camcorder that uses real VHS tapes, so naturally he becomes a film student. I envision him growing up and working as a cinematographer and eventual director of poignant indie films and documentaries - stuff with lots of lingering, fly-on-the-wall shots. Also, special shoutout to Seraphina, the love of his got dang life. Those two gave me so many freaking cavities with their cuteness.

Kathleen Hainline

So Kath is a mess, but that’s just par for the course in this family, I suppose. She’s the baby of the family and has always felt like she’s living in her sister Norma’s shadow. She’s a bit of a wild child, but certainly not to the extent Victoria was. It’s all just a cry for attention, trust me. She wants to feel needed, she wants to feel wanted, she wants to feel special. And anything that takes the attention of the people she loves off of her needs to die, plain and simple. She’s best friends with Daisy and is technically endgame with Jonas (though we really didn’t get to write them that far), so here goes a prayer candle for my lovely Becca.

Dory Novak

As you can probably guess by the name, Dory is based on that delightful blue tang we know and love. In the Walt universe, she developed her short term memory loss after an accident that killed her parents, and was adopted by Marlin. She loves swimming and her family and especially anything combining the two. She’s a freaking sweetheart who is actually pretty hard on herself, and it was so heartbreaking to play her in any kind of stressful situation because five minutes later she would still be freaked out by have no idea as to why (looking at you, Scream event). Also, Scooby liked her a lot and I felt so freaking blessed??? She ends up becoming a social worker and helping kids in the foster system like her.

Charlie Harper & Jenny Harper née Parkington

I never got to properly play Dory’s parents, but here’s the fast and skinny on them. Jenny was a shy bookworm who never thought boys would be interested in her and (for the most part) had made peace with that theory. Charlie was a jock who was head over heels for Jenny but never knew how to communicate it without being a sleaze. Eventually, he manages to ask her out, she says yes, and they pretty much become attached at the hip. She comes to his basketball games and swim meets decked out in the school colors and cheering like a maniac. My guess is Dory came a little earlier than they were expecting, but not so early that it would be considered scandalous - probably when they were almost finished with college or something. Dory became their world and they spoiled that little girl beyond belief. Unfortunately, both of them were killed in a car wreck when Dory was very little.

Marlene Novak

Dory’s first kid, adopted. To sum it up nicely, Marlene’s a hot mess because she was never able to come to terms with the fact that her birth mother didn’t want her. I tried to start this whole plot where she ran into her birth mother just out in the wild and that made her get even messier, but I think I was just throwing crap on the fire to see what blew up at that point. She also has a…flirtatious arrangement, shall we say, with her friend Viv.

Lyle Novak

Dory’s second kid, also adopted. *sigh* Lyle, Lyle, Lyle… He’s a cutie, don’t get me wrong, but I feel like I didn’t give his character enough punch? He just seems kind of blah now that I look back at him. I have a history of being super self conscious about my male characters if they don’t have like a Super Archetype personality for some freaking reason, and Lyle is definitely an example of that. He’s a little shy, but not so shy that it’s endearing, and he’s also a little courageous, but not so courageous that he actually gets crap done. He’s a little complacent, looking back on him, which is kind of the opposite of how I wanted to play him...? I dunno. Maybe I’m being too harsh on myself. HE’S CUTE. LIFE GOES ON.

Cinderella Tremaine

To the surprise of absolutely no one, I’ve actually played a Cinderella counterpart in a few different groups, but let’s just talk about how I portrayed her at Walt. French transfer student in America (I changed her to straight up American after a point) who loves animals arguably more than life itself and tries her best not to cry over things she can’t control. She’s also daydreamy as FRICK. Loves to get lost in her own imagination. If she’s not engaged in conversation or work of some kind, I can guarantee you her conscience isn’t even on this plane. Also, can I just shriek about the superhero AU version of her where she was a counterpart to Zatanna and literally became her own fairy godmother? Because I think about that far more than is probably healthy.

Emmett Tremaine & Johanna Tremaine née Cartier

Same thing as Dory’s parents, just gonna give you a quick lowdown. Johanna came from a fairly well off family in France (distantly related to those guys, but far enough away that it doesn’t really count), but her parents thought she was an absolute embarrassment. She was never afraid to speak her mind when it came to things like etiquette and politics, and she had a fabulously wild imagination. She never stopped believing in fairies, ghosts, gremlins, things like that. Emmett was that quiet nerd dreamer type, very much obsessed with travel and history. And like I need to spell it out for you, but they were LUDICROUSLY in love with each other. Like, nauseatingly so.

Robby Tremaine

Robby is Cindy’s son I whipped up real quick one next gen when I was going crazy and wanted to snatch Nick Robinson’s beautiful face. He’s a hardcore farm boy who doesn’t mind a little mud behind his ears and super environmentally conscious. Not just recycling and veganism and all that, but he will go off on you about sustainable farming and animal raising, and how the hydrogen fuel cell is the way of the future.

Taige Bailey

Based on Terk from Tarzan, Taige is a super jock, total butch lesbian, and altogether DUMBNUT. Like, GOD she’s so stupid sometimes because she just barrels into crap with reckless abandon and doesn’t think things through. Dear God, she will PUNCH you if you so much as look at her funny, just ‘cause she feels bored. And she walks around like she’s God’s gift to creation, but she’s just a little twerp. But she’s my twerp. (Huh. I’m just now realizing how similar Taige and Pen are. In a weird way, Taige is like the tomboy version of Pen.) Here, you can imagine me lighting a prayer candle because I never got to play her against her two best friends and I’m SAD. Y’ALL NEVER GOT TO EXPERIENCE THE TOUR DE FORCE THAT IS T CUBED. Also *cough* she and Vitani may have had a *coUGH* flirtationship.

I would also put Taige’s parents on this list, but they’re so hardly even developed that it’s not really worth mentioning them. I only know their names: Lamarr and April.

Jared Bailey

Taige’s only child, Jared’s still trying to figure out what masculinity means to him, what with being raised by two women and all. He can get a little “dudebro alpha male” sometimes, but he’s also that kid you definitely want to have your back when things get rough. He’ll help you with your homework, teach you how to shoot a three-pointer, and walk you home when it’s dark like the gentleman he is.

#spidcypools #YOU SAID 'ALL' BY GOD #read mores are for wimps #have my children #[ q and a ]#[ muse: frank ]#[ muse: norma ]#[ muse: francis ]#[ muse: kathleen ]#[ muse: dory ]#[ muse: marlene ]#[ muse: lyle ]#[ muse: cinderella ]#[ muse: robby ]#[ muse: taige ]#[ muse: jared ]

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nebulae-unravelling · 5 years

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Aquaman, or the recurring problem with me watching movies

So, I just watched Aquaman and it was... good? I liked it? I didn’t go into it expecting much, to be completely honest, on account of my lack of knowledge about both DC and Aquaman in general. I also know that I’m more happy criticising than just sitting back and enjoying, which makes things... challenging, shall we say, when I watch things with people who are not similarly inclined.

So, the pros. The special effects and set, costuming design were pretty rad (there is just one thing that bugged me about costuming, which is the cause of all this, but we’ll get to that later) and the plot line was on par with a b-grade superhero movie, which is to say, I enjoyed it but I’m also not the one who paid for it, so there’s that. Jason Momoa was a hottie as usual, and while I appreciated the rampant shirtlessness, I really likes how his naturally curly hair stayed naturally curly, unlike the redhead with titties (which of course had to be ~shown off~ with a tastefully low-cut outfit) whose hair was very much artificially curled every time it got wet again. Kudos to the hair and makeup department for that actually, I didn’t know that Atlantans had exactly the same makeup as us, or really makeup like we know it at all. Who’d’ve thought? I’d much rather watch mermaids with fucking tails and gills (and to be fair there were a few, but certainly not the main characters/love interest) and a general physiology that is not a fascismile of what like, actual humanity looks like. (We’ve done it before, The Shape of Water anyone? That at least looked like a fucking fishman.) But I digress. Mira or whatever her name was had a very typical costume, and was a very typical role of love interest peppered with a couple of pretty cool power displays. She was good, for sure, and this isn’t meant to be a critique of anyone’s acting. More, the executive decisions around keeping the movie a stereotypical, so-so plotty capitalisation on Aquaman from Justice League.

(Am I being too harsh? I feel like that was too harsh? Honestly, the movie was good, but it wasn’t anything special.)

Anyway, the real issue I had was that Mira was always in heels of some description. Specifically, in that last battle (which was meh, also, I mean, who arrays their troops so that they would be shooting each other in the back if not for ~movie magic~) she had wedge heels that were at least three inches, if not four. They were in the ocean, what on earth does she need heels for??

But we all know why, really. It’s the same reason Gal Gadot was told to wear heels in a fight scene in Wonder Woman (not sure which one, still haven’t seen it) and she couldn’t do it. Which, fair, I couldn’t fight in four inch heels either. So the production crew (or whoever, I’m not sure) CGI’d, frame by frame, these fucking high heels. The second article raises a couple good points, but to reiterate, there is NO practical reason for the heels, other than to appeal to the male gaze and reinforce the apparent necessity of women wearing heels and only heels. (Side note, I fucking love heels and love wearing them, but I think they’re wildly impractical to do anything other than walk short distances and stand around looking pretty in. And I’m there for that, honestly, but it’s a particular kind of demeaning when you’re raised from a young age to believe that women can only fight in heels and to do anything less is to be ‘unattractive’ and ‘unwomanly’.)

So Mira wears her heels, and kisses Arthur in the middle of battle (why?? It’s so strange?? Their chemistry is hardly super compelling??) and we think nothing of another woman fighting in heels because it’s normal and what is expected of us.

We don’t need it. We don’t need another generation of young girls growing up with this unreachable benchmark of beauty. It fucking hurts to unlearn all that shit, like it really fucking does.

That’s it, that’s the TedTalk. I liked aquaman but it wasn’t great, and I’m sick of women fighting in heels cos that’s not how shit works in real life.

It bears repeating, so here goes. I am not criticising the actors for their acting skills. They were pretty great. And despite all evidence to the contrary, I didn’t hate aquaman. It’s just very easy to get hung up on all the bad stuff, I guess. Furthermore, this is my opinion. I’m not someone who knows a lot about film, I’m just opinionated and sick of badass-women-but-only-in-heels requirements. As such, this is a self-indulgent rant post. If you don’t like it, bite me.

Peace out.

#aquaman #dc #look #sometimes i have opinions #women #feminism

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ninjagoat · 6 years

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Notes on Supergirl 3x09

There's a good chance I might end up being facetious this episode. See if you can guess where.

So, it's the next day after Wake Up? When did Crisis happen?

We talk about bad writing on the show a lot (and believe me, we WILL be discussing it a lot today), but I want to talk about how Mon-El describes the future:

"Technology has developed beyond imagining; but at the end of the day, it's still in service of communicating with each other, and entertaining each other, and also killing each other. In this day, or in a thousand years, conflict is constant. But so is strength." The repetition, the cadence; this is a man who has given so many rousing speeches as a leader that they invade his regular conversation. It's so different from how he used to speak, and it's a lovely piece of work.

Kara's Best Friend Winn - who spent two days with a police scanner and a sewing machine helping her become a superhero, when even Alex didn't want her to be one - being tickled pink by Imra not knowing what phones are is nice.

Amy Jackson is from the Isle of Man, if you were wondering what that accent is. It's its own thing, but the Youtube videos aren't usually this... breathy.

Mon-El was basically the 31st Century Apostle of Supergirl. I'm here for it.

And for Imra's hero worship.

It's a good thing he turned down your invitation, Kara. Things might have gotten awkward, what with Lena being there and all. Or perhaps not. Who can say?

Can we have a ship war between Kara/Food and Alex/Booze soon? I think we're due a ship war that makes sense.

"Crone Buddies"? What happened to the realisation there must be someone else for you Alex? It was just last week/yesterday/possibly an alternate time-line.

I'm getting bored with Danvers Sisters time, to be quite honest. Yes, you're going to support each other through this. We know. Talk it through with someone else, Kara. Perhaps your Best Friend, Winn (who one time requisitioned an entire Catco office and server just so you would have a base of operations at work)?

Look, relationships are the only thing James Olsen has ever been shown to be bad at, so can you two hurry up? I wanna know how he's going to screw up a good thing this time.

I want to love this scene with J'onn/M'yrnn/Kara's Best Friend Winn - who once served as a buffer between Alex and Eliza at Thanksgiving while Kara basically ignored him in favour of her not-boyfriend, who called her from a romantic getaway with his actual girlfriend - but I know it's all a ploy to keep him away from Lena, and thus avoid pesky questions like, "So, how do you know the analyst from the clandestine government agency that helped me out with those things those times?"

Unpopular opinion: American Christmas songs are almost universally shite.

I should also point out that, since Lena knows he is DEO, Kara's Best Friend Winn - who once committed treason on Alex and Kara's behalf after Kara invoked his difficult relationship with his father - is the only person currently in this room that is not concealing a secret identity from her.

I'm just gonna stop having headcanons. I keep thinking of ways the show could mine conflict from the scenarios they've created, and the show doesn't then do it badly, so much as ignore it entirely. I actually burst into tears once because I thought up a thing where Kara tells Winn he can't come to the Christmas party because Lena knows he's DEO and it would raise too many questions. I would actually prefer that to this version. At least it would be a story point then.

Wait. Hang on. Are they trying to tell us that Wake Up happened on Dec. 22nd? Because... seriously, what?

Alex, you can't just steal a child, even if you are great with her; so stop thinking about it. Who said this 'wanting to be a mother' thing was out of character?

I like the choice that Lena would make weak excuses for why she can't just go for it with James. Putting your last boyfriend out of his misery by deactivating the nano-bot swarm he's comprised of must be a tough act to follow.

A funny thing about chemistry that's "off the charts"? It can't be measured.

A rhyming scene of James and Winn on the other side of the room having *their* version of this conversation would have gone a long way.

This is literally the fourth episode of eight you've spent time with Sam, Kara. It's not like she's one of the Barton Bellas.

"I've always had Alex, and she has my back, but-" Sorry, NOW TV keeps cutting the sound there, so I don't know how the sentence ends. I'll presume it's something along the lines of, "If you don't want to date someone who works for you, do you remember my Best Friend, Winn? Really smart, you saved the world together that one time? And at your party? Hates your mom? Remember? Look, he's rocking that Christmas sweater!"

(And he's clearly single, since his girlfriend of 44 weeks isn't here)

I cannot imagine how difficult blocking this scene was, if J'onn has to come up to Kara in front of the friends that don't know she's Supergirl and say she has to leave her own party on Dec. 23rd. I'll assume this scene was written by the Buffoon.

VASQUEZ! You have returned to us! From where-ever it was!

The Symbol is Kryptonian? What were the odds?

I get the feeling that 'if we don't know it, it can't be known' is a common attitude from Krypton. Kinda... snobby, wouldn't you say?

And since we, the audience, already know the Symbol is Kryptonian, why are we sending James and Lena on this wild goose chase?

Speaking of which, why would Morgan Edge burn a symbol into your corn-field, Lena? Explain the logic. While you're at it, why would you go see him about it? What is he going to tell you?

And by saying "I will go with you," as opposed to "This plan is stupid," we've got a solid idea of why there were no 'James helps mentor Kara as a reporter' stories last season.

A two minute scene solely to remind us that Morgan Edge exists. Yay.

Get Prince's name out of your filthy mouth.

"I'm here just to make sure you remain civil." You know what else would have achieved that James? Not going at all.

Here's the thing. It's Reign. We know it's Reign. There is no mystery here. THIS IS NOT HOW MYSTERIES WORK.

THE ALIEN BAR! Still lacking in visibly alien aliens. Bloody gentrification.

Dude, just put lobsters down on the floor if you're gonna do this ribs shit (given the platform, this is probably a one-percenter joke).

Look! Kara's Best Friend Winn - who quit his good job at a global media empire so he could help Kara with superheroing full-time (you know, right before Kara considered moving to Metropolis) - distracting Imra so Kara and Mon-El can talk! What a great Best Friend he is!

I'm gonna say this now: not on board with SaturnNerd, unless it's rounding out Winn's doomed trip through Nerd Fantasy Romance Tropes (the list so far: Kara - Girl Next Door; Siobhan - Mean Girl (To Reform Through Kindness); Lyra - Manic Dream Pixie Girl; Imra - Sexy/Naive Foreign Exchange Student).

You're not at the jokey we-had-fun-didn't-we stage yet, mister.

Creepy Preacher Dude! You're back! And still creepy!

Fort Rozz!

Right, they are clearly establishing Sam as Reign, and Reign as the World-Killer. THERE IS NO MYSTERY HERE.

Sam. Have you never seen a Christmas film before? You know what happens if you work Christmas Eve.

The Christmas story is nice, though. Sam & Ruby are a nice addition to the show.

El Mayarah, brothers and sisters.

'Cip'. Imra's WAAAAAY overplaying this 'foreigner' stuff.

Yep. Break her heart more, Imra. Solid plan.

Sigh. What are you doing going to other hackers, Lena? We know they're gonna be sub-par. Or James should, at least.

For newer, confused viewers, James is a superhero, who has a shield. Winn built it for him. You may not have known this.

This Reign fight is one of the best vampire attack scenes I've ever seen.

Sooooo, we needed Lena and James to visit Edge, so Edge would pick tonight to hire an assassin to kill Lena, so Reign will then target Edge. 'Kay. Oh, and Edge is apparently using Reign as a cover for Lena's 'death'. Except it happens before Reign goes on the rampage. So circular, this logic.

No love in his eyes? Admittedly, Kara's never been good at this.

Edge has a lead-lined panic room. This is the smartest thing he's done yet. Ineffectual mustache twirler.

This week's Jeremy Jordan Award For Doing So Much With So Little goes, unsurprisingly, to Jeremy Jordan; for seamlessly transitioning from sarcasm to serious through repeated use of the word 'No.'

And kudos for Kara's Best Friend, Winn - who once got up in his best clothes and went to a posh party solely to humiliate himself in front of the hostess (the hostess being Lena, who is of course not Kara's best friend, because Winn is Kara's Best Friend) because Kara had gotten herself in a jam - for emphasising that an attempt on Edge's life is only 'objectively' bad. Sticking up for his Sister in Science.

Okay, how late is it on Christmas Eve? Everyone's still at Catco. IT'S A SUNDAY. WHY IS EVERYONE HERE? GO HOME.

I'm not against GuardianCorp, there's a lot of story to mine there in terms of the relationship between Journalism and its Corporate Masters (it's not a marriage made in heaven, nor should it be); but like many things, it depends on execution. With that in mind, there's a few tangible details I want to highlight here:

Firstly, with the exception of letting her call him Jimmy, which is only relevant to a specific section of the audience (casual viewers won't remember why that's a big deal, and longer term fans of the character consider it the default); the nicest thing we've ever seen him say to or about her is that he doesn't see her as an extension of her brother. That seems like a low bar to cross. In fact, I have no idea how James feels about this particular development at all.

Secondly, James hasn't been challenged yet; or at least, it doesn't *feel* like he's been challenged yet. In my notes for 3x02, I wrote of GuardianCorp, "This isn’t a thing that’ll be resolved by him doing nothing until someone else makes the decision for him," but he hasn't actually made any decisions. This story isn't a James story (yet). It's a Lena story, about her taking a chance on him.

(ASIDE: At some point, someone decided that Lena's main flaw would be 'self-doubt' instead of 'hubris', as was previously established in 2x05. I take small comfort in the fact that person is likely no longer employed)

Thirdly (and this last one's much more open to interpretation, so YMMV), Mr. Brooks isn't really pulling his weight here. Ms. McGrath is doing *all* the heavy lifting: she's standing there, giving him full heart-eyes, and he barely seems to notice that it's happening. James could be playing it cool, I suppose; but that's just another way in which I can't relate to James as a character (because HOW? How do you play it cool when she's looking at you like THAT?).

(FURTHER ASIDE: You know who would have been a challenge for James? LYRA. Or, at least, a visibly alien alien. That story would be about James and his perception of himself; having been friends and love interests for 'passing' aliens over the years, why is an ALIEN alien a sticking point for him? Played by a trans actress, preferably, to hammer the metaphor home. It would also have given him a cause to champion at CatCo)

At some point, I should stop doing notes, and just write a damn review. It'd probably be shorter.

Why are all these Christmas parties happening on Christmas Eve?

You know when would have been a great time to do a Christmas episode? Last season, when it was all about the immigration metaphor, and your three non-human characters can all express how they feel about this religious festival they don't belong to.

Love the tone of this office fight (the song still sucks)

Kara's getting the beat-down of her life, and she's still trying to protect others. I love her.

That block and swing is fucking incredible.

AND THEN THE FLAMING DOOR!

Where the hell is this fight happening that James, Lena, AND Edge can be witnesses?

Impressed at how objective Alex is being here. Would like more detailed reaction shots though. Particularly from Kara's Best Friend, Winn.

Imra's very confident about Kara being okay.

Episodes since Winn and Lyra have had a scene together: 13. THIRTEEN. These counts were supposed to be a joke, show. Not a running commentary of despair. Speaking of which...

Episodes since Winn and Lena have had a scene together: 9 (Record high: 16). No, I'm not counting this one. Being in the same location does not a scene make. We'll just have to live with my pain extending to double digits in January.

#notes #superglue #my ineffectual rage

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junker-town · 5 years

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The most ridiculous, bizarre and sublime sports video games of all-time

Sports are dumb. Video games are also dumb. But dumb sports video games are the best.

You know what’s good? Sports! You know what also can be (generally) good? Video games! It’s also pretty fun when those two things meet, and even more fun when they meet in the weirdest ways possible.

That happened quite a bit more in the 90s and early aughts than it does now (probably because it costs a whole lot more money to make video games these days, but that’s another story) and while they weren’t always good games, they were usually worth it on their novelty factor alone. And I am fascinated by these games.

I have spent hours playing Ninja Golf on the Atari 7800. I don’t really know why, I’m just so intrigued by the process that spawned such things. I’ve played far too much MLB Nicktoons, because seeing Spongebob Squarepants share a field with Carlos Beltran is still hilarious to me. To use a more well-known example: Jerry Glanville’s Pigskin Footbrawl is something I’ve been playing a lot of. It’s a game that doesn’t relate to Glanville in any way, but somehow has his name on it. Discovering why that is and also, you know, playing the games, has been my mission for a long time.

Hopefully that means my bosses will continue to let me write about the cross-section of sports and video games, with some deeper dives and the like. But until then, as sort of a primer, an appetizer if you will, how about we establish a base? Let’s take a brief look at the WEIRDEST sports games for each major sport!

This is part one, where we’re covering American football, basketball, hockey, baseball, soccer and golf — I will cover tennis, auto racing, combat sports and some others in a follow-up article.

American Football: Brutal Sports Football (Atari Jaguar)

Honorable Mention: Jerry Glanville’s Pigskin Footbrawl (Super Nintendo)

We’re starting out hot and heavy with, you guessed it, an Atari Jaguar game. Also released for a number of other consoles, Brutal Sports Football is exactly what it purports to be: football, but more brutal than football already is. I’m somewhat obsessed with this game.

Now, don’t confuse obsession with skill, because I am TERRIBLE at it. Part of that is me not having much experience with the Atari Jaguar, and part of that is the game being crushingly difficult. But it sure is fun, and as you can expect, it’s quite violent.

Featuring teams like the Thugs, Slayers and Goats (actual goatmen, of course), Brutal Sports Football is pretty standard football, if pretty standard football included axes, beheading, repeatedly stomping your opponent into the ground, powerups in the form of rabbits (?) and a surprising amount of backstory to its teams.

No, really. Every team has a brief explanation of their history/what kind of team they are. And they’re ridiculous.

Some of those are just ... whew.

Just how brutal is Brutal Sports Football, you ask? Well, you can use the severed heads of your enemies as a weapon to cave in the head of another. So, it’s at least on par with actual football.

There’s something about the gameplay that intrigues me, even though I can’t get a damn thing done in it. It’s surprisingly smooth-feeling for an early sports game, and the rules are interesting. Aside from the murdery bits, the goal is to get the ball into the end zone, which is an enclosed area a bit closer to a soccer goal. You can throw it or run it in, and when you run one it, it feels a good bit like dunking.

I suck at it (a theme you’ll find on this list), and I don’t think it’s an amazing video game. But it sure is weird.

Basketball: Bill Laimbeer’s Combat Basketball (Super Nintendo)

Honorable Mention: Michael Jordan: Chaos in the Windy City (Super Nintendo)

I’m going to start this one with a declaration: Bill Laimbeer’s Combat Basketball is a bad video game. There, I said it. It’s out in the open. Some people — whom I no longer respect as human beings — claim that it’s a good game and enjoy it immensely. They are horrible people and if you like it, so are you.

Hyperbole aside, WHERE IS BILL LAIMBEER? Much like Jerry Glanville’s Pigskin Footbrawl, Laimbeer has absolutely nothing to do with this video game, and like the game above, it was released under a different title in other regions, Future Basketball. But there is also very little about it that is futuristic, save for the drab, gray arenas, the robots and what the game says are jetpack-assisted jumps, but are actually still pretty lame, standard basketball jumps.

There’s bombs, but nothing about getting them feels good. What baskets do or do not go in seem to have no correlation with where you are and what the opposing players are doing to you, and the “combat” animations are so slight that it’s hard to tell if you’ve hit someone, unless they explode.

The game has bad sound effects, bad music, slow action, a bad camera, and very little excitement. I’m told that some people enjoy it, but as a kid, I’m not sure I’ve ever returned a game faster. That doesn’t make it any less weird though, and the fact that this game exists at all is pretty fascinating. Why does it have Bill Laimbeer’s name on it? Why is he on the cover? Where are the fans?

I’m so confused. I wanted to give this to Michael Jordan’s Chaos in the Windy City, or the fan game, Barkley: Shut up and Jam: Gaiden, but Laimbeer’s Combat Basketball is a little higher profile and I wanted to set the record straight while also pointing out that it’s weird. And dumb.

Baseball: Ninja Baseball Bat Man (Arcade)

Honorable Mention: Nicktoons MLB (Multi)

This is one of those that doesn’t REALLY resemble the actual sport it represents, because it’s not a baseball game so much as it is a 2D beat-em-up arcade game with a baseball theme. And when I say baseball theme, I mean every inch of this game is steeped in baseball stuff.

You fight baseballs. You fight giant catcher’s mitts with faces on them. You’re a robot baseball man who hits other robot baseball men with baseball bats. One of them just uses a giant baseball as a smashing weapon.

The story — yes the game has a story — is that you, the Ninja Baseball Bat Man — or N.B. Batman, as the commissioner of baseball refers to you, have to recover items that were stolen from the Baseball Hall of Fame. You can play as the well-balanced Captain Jose, the speedy Twinbats Ryno, the powerful Beanball Roger or the long-reaching Stick Straw, who stands 7’2’’, officially.

It’s a pretty great game, actually — a fun 2D brawler you can play cooperatively, I definitely played and beat this in multiple arcades with friends of mine.

The game was conceived by Drew Maniscalco, who came up with the idea after reading about the top grossing films of its time — Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and one of the Batman films (speculated to be Batman Returns). So Maniscalco wanted to create his own superhero-influenced game. He also liked the word “ninja”, thinking it felt “mysterious,” which was more than enough of a concept to make a video game in the early 90s.

This is the game on this list I can 100% recommend. You should play it if you can.

Hockey: Mutant League Hockey

Honorable Mention: NHL Hitz 2003

So, I actually didn’t want to include Mutant League Hockey on this list just because the Mutant League franchise is so big. That said, there is a surprising lack of weird hockey games. I went with NHL Hitz 2003 as the honorable mention because I think it works surprisingly well for an NFL Blitz spinoff, but I was hoping for something really nuts for hockey.

That isn’t to say that Mutant League Hockey is sane. No, it’s quite weird. It’s your basic hockey, except with robots, undead skeletons and trolls, and lots of things that are quite lethal, like exploding pucks and spikes on the boards.

Getting checked into them is not fun.

There are also random holes in the ice, and you can hit people with your stick. You can get a powerup that turns your goalie into a giant demon face, and if the opponents score on your giant demon face, it explodes.

And it’s oozing with personality, including fake coaching quotes like the one above. Have you ever seen a sideline interview that was actually interesting? Probably not. But they’re plenty interesting in Mutant League Hockey. Also, one of the arenas is the Madness Square Garden (why not Scare Garden?).

Soccer: Inazuma Eleven GO 2: Chrono Stone

Honorable Mention: Battle Soccer: Field No Hasha

If you’re unfamiliar with Inazuma Eleven, it’s a game developed by Level-5, a company responsible for many high profile puzzle and JRPG video games, like the Professor Layton, Dark Cloud and Ni no Kuni series of games. There is also a manga and anime spin-off of the games. I think any games in the series would fit on this list, but I went with this one because it’s my favorite of the bunch.

This is a story-heavy and strategy-heavy video game. The main character (of the series, not this game specifically), Mamoru Endou, is a talented goalkeeper and the grandson of Daisuke Endou, a legendary soccer player. You’re trying to save your team from being dissolved and you do that by progressing a surprisingly deep story, interspersed with bits of tactical soccer gameplay and strong anime cutscenes.

The game centers around the Football Frontier tournament, and includes arenas set throughout time and a final arena in a SKY PALACE. There you play Zeus, another team, who are drinking “ambrosia,” which is basically just a whole bunch of PEDs to make them better at the game. They’re juicing! In this relatively wholesome soccer game!

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Gameplay includes scouting, recruiting new players by beating them in battle. In actual soccer games, when you run into one of the opposing players, it initiates a command duel, which has its own series of moves and actions you can take as part of it. Normal soccer rules apply with substitution and number of people on the field. It’s honestly impressive how deep it all goes. It’s not something I would recommend to non-RPG players, but fans of the genre should absolutely give it a spin.

Golf: Ribbit King (Nintendo Gamecube)

Honorable Mention: Desert Golf (Mobile)

Before I get into Ribbit King, a quick note about this honorable mention — Desert Golf is a simple never-ending golf game that came out on iOS and Android and doesn’t have much going on for it ... which is part of the reason it’s weird. The game has no explanations, no anything but a ball and hole, and some hills. I played it through a couple thousand holes. There are things about it that I will not talk about in case readers want to try it for themselves, but suffice to say when the game became a hit, a lot of people had a lot of discussions about secrets or things hidden in the procedurally-generated game.

Now, back to Ribbit King, an extremely under-appreciated golf game where you play as a person, or what appears to be a picnic basket(?), and you’re hitting catapults holding frogs with your mallet to launch said frogs around a course filled with flies, hazards and extra points. When you hit the frog, it will then hop upon landing, and how much hopping is dependent on powerups you’ve used, your swing, and the stamina of the frogs, which you can replenish with items.

Strictly speaking, since I strive for 100 percent accuracy, I will of course note that the game does not refer to it as golf, but Frolf.

It’s a weird game. There’s a full story mode with voice acting, and it’s as weird as you can expect. You play a carpenter named Scooter, and you’re trying to become the Frolf Champion, so you can win the Super Ribbinite, a fuel source needed to save your home planet. There’s also a sentient rock pile, gumball machine and karate-using panda.

The game is a successor to a Japan-only Playstation game titled Kero Kero King, which I played way back when but never knew about Ribbit King until the past year or so. I’m glad to have found it.

There are so many weird games for these sports I didn’t even get to mention — Cyber Baseball 2020, Mega Man Soccer, Blitz: The League, Zany Golf, like 40 other crazy baseball games and so much more. Sound off in the comments on what I missed and your predictions for the next batch of weird games.

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breeeliss · 7 years

Note

Marinette is wearing a flower in her hair and bee!Chloé cant control herself for the Marichat tropes.

im glad that maribee!marichat tropes are becoming a thing :P

words: 1695

“Okay, so it says I need to get a package of puff pastry.”

Marinette snorted and spoke with her mouth full. “Strike one. Store bought puff pastry is abominable.”

Queen Bee frowned. “Obviously I would get the expensive kind.”

“Doesn’t matter. It’s all sub-par. You gotta make that stuff from scratch otherwise what’s the point?”

“Not all of us live in a professional bakery, Marinette!”

Marinette stuck her tongue out. “That sounds like a ‘you’ problem.”

Queen Bee plucked up some of the mille-feuille crumbs from her plate and threw them in Marinette’s hair, laughing when the girl screamed in outrage. “Don’t sass me, I’m a superhero!”

Marinette shoved a foot against Queen Bee’s thigh, jokingly trying to shove her from her dainty perch on her balcony railing. “I’m giving you my professional opinion.”

“No.” Queen Bee reached over and tapped her on the nose. “You’re making things difficult by not giving me the recipe for these things and forcing me to do research.”

Marinette shrugged. “Family recipe. Sworn to secrecy. Sorry, my dear.”

“I wouldn’t tell anyone! Surely you’d trust me over anyone else.”

“Your sterling commitment to civic duty is not enough of a reason.”

Queen Bee pouted and handed Marinette’s phone back to her. “Fine. I’ll just starve then.”

“Or you could just come back during opening hours and buy some.”

Queen Bee smirked. “Why would I do that if I can just tap on your window and get some for free?”

“Oh, I see,” Marinette said with an eye roll, pulling out the second box of pastries she’d brought with her to the roof. “So I don’t benefit from this arrangement huh?”

“Of course you do, silly,” Bee said. “That Ladyblog girl breaks her neck trying to get exclusive interviews with the four of us and here you are with straight-from-the-source access to anything you could ever possibly want to ask me. Surely you have questions.”

“Yeah just one,” Marinette nodded solemnly. “Who told you that blue eyeshadow and yellow went together?” Marinette burst into giggles when Bee reached over and gently slapped her on the shoulder and started ranting about her elaborate plans to slowly gain her trust and pull this top secret Dupain-Cheng recipe from her one of these days.

Queen Bee was really fun to tease, and Marinette wasn’t quite sure why. She reminded Marinette of Chat Noir in the sense that they were both really strong personalities that tended to be just a touch over the top. The difference was that it was obvious that Chat Noir liked to play it up for the sake of being funny and teasing Ladybug – two of his most favorite pastimes. However, Marinette was convinced that Queen Bee really was this dramatic on a day-to-day basis. She was a ferocious fighter and was more eager than the three of them to jump straight into the action, but would do things like complain about flying on hot days, scream out in horror in the middle of an akuma battle because of a broken nail, or whine melodramatically in front of a closed bakery sign after forgetting that businesses closed early on Sundays.

It should’ve been annoying, but it just made it easy to poke fun at her. Queen Bee wasn’t an obnoxious person, and she had too much respect for her miraculous and for Ladybug to even come close to being someone worthy of Marinette’s scorn. She wouldn’t ever admit this to her, but Bee was wonderful entertainment. She supposed that was why it was so easy to invite her in for pastries and sit with her outside. Despite the fact that this was technically Queen Bee’s first time meeting Marinette, the two of them slipped into their familiar banter as if Marinette’s mask was still up.

Marinette pushed off from where she was leaning against the banister, put the pastries to the side, and went back to her seat in the lawn chair that she’d been occupying before Queen Bee showed up. “You’re so distracting. I was in the middle of something before you showed up.”

Bee scoffed dramatically. “Oh, what could possibly be more important than me?”

“My class is holding a Spring picnic tomorrow,” Marinette explained. “I promised a few friends I’d make them flower crowns to wear tomorrow.”

“Flower crowns?”

“Mmhm.” She held up her wire crown that had un-flowered greens and a few cut white daisies that she was pulling from a store bought bouquet by her feet. “I thought about keeping them all one color, but maybe I should put in some other colors or something. White doesn’t seem very spring-y you know?”

Bee’s wings fluttered briefly as she walked along the balcony wall to the left of Marinette. “They’re pretty…”

“Thanks!” Marinette smiled. “I’ve never made flower crowns before, so it’s been interesting. I don’t mind if you stay, but I kinda want to finish these before I have to go to bed.” She bit her lip and put the flower crown on her head, looking up and adjusting the flowers that were drooping too low past her brows. “Maybe the stems are too long…”

Queen Bee sat on the edge of the balcony and plucked up one of the flowers sitting in front of Marinette. She pressed it to her nose, inhaled, and blinked in shock. “They smell amazing.”

“They’re fresh!” Marinette explained. “Bought them this morning. I’m going to leave them in the refrigerator over night so that they’ll stay stay fresh in the morning. Hopefully the fragrance will stay.”

“No I mean they smell really good,” Bee repeated, keeping the flower close to her nose. “Like…something sweet, and grass, and rain, and something else….”

Marinette looked down and snipped the stems off the flower she just took back. “Well, if I can get the hang of this and if I have flowers left over, I can make you one if you want. I can make it yellow and add in some light blue ones just to help you match that eyeshadow shade you seem so attached to.”

She expected Queen Bee to snap back defensively at Marinette making fun of her makeup again, but she didn’t rise to the bait. Instead, Bee crawled along the banister and leaned over to smell at the flowers in Marinette’s hair. Marinette froze and felt her eyes widen as she heard Bee inhale as deeply as she could. “They smell even better when you have them all clumped together like this….”

“Um,” Marinette muttered. “Thanks?”

Queen Bee gently cupped Marinette’s cheek and tipped her head upwards so that she could press her nose to the center of every flower that was weaved into the crown. Marinette furrowed her brows and looked at Bee from the corner of her eyes, more confused than offended that she was invading her space this much for the sake of just a few cheap flowers she’d bought at a stand earlier that day. She could just see Bee’s wings fluttering gently every time she switched to a new flower and inhaled a new lungful of fragrance.

The hum of her wings was getting louder, and pretty soon she was hovering just a few feet above the ground and practically burying her nose in the flowers. Marinette felt herself smiling with all her teeth. “Are….are you buzzing?”

Queen Bee blinked as if she were clearing her vision and hummed. “What was that?”

“You’re…kind of hovering over me. And getting pollen on your nose.”

It took a few seconds for her to realize that she’d forced Marinette to lean almost completely to one side because she had been getting so closer to her. Queen Bee squeaked in embarrassment, touched her feet down the floor, and skipped back a few steps until she was leaning against the railing at the complete opposite end of the balcony. Her blush was spreading underneath her mask and up to her ears and Marinette had to hold back her comment about Bee sporting all three primary colors on her face at once.

“I’M SORRY!” Queen Bee exclaimed, the apology coming out as an involuntary shout. “Oh God, that was so weird. I was so weird. That was weird. Oh crap, now you think I’m a freak, oh holy effing Christ.”

Marinette snorted in laughter and walked over to Queen Bee, using the sleeve of her sweater to wipe off the bits of pollen that were still on the bridge of her nose. “Don’t worry about it, you’re totally fine. It was just…surprising, that’s all.”

Bee covered her face with her hands and mumbled through her fingers. “I’m still getting used to these superpower things and that’s never happened before!”

Marinette stared at her pitifully and rubbed one of her shoulders. “I mean….maybe it’s a bee thing.”

“What?”

“You know,” Marinette continued. “Bees. Flowers. Pollen. Makes sense.”

“I-I’m not….that’s not….I’m not actually a bee, Marinette!!” she sputtered.

Marinette closed her eyes and winced. “I dunno! That seemed pretty bee-ish.”

Queen Bee’s brows were pulled into a confused scowl and the lingering blush on her face just made the girl look downright adorable – so adorable that Marinette felt her cheeks aching from how hard she was smiling. “I just liked the flowers you picked!! They were really good flowers!!”

“Hey, if you want you can take some. Pollinate some of the gardens nearby.”

“Shut up, you’re the literal worst!”

“I guess I’m definitely making you that flower crown now. I’m afraid you won’t be able to sleep at night without them.”

“You’re never going to let me live this down, are you?”

“Are you kidding?” Marinette scoffed. She picked up one of the white daisies and teasingly held it out for Queen Bee to take. “I’ll turn this into a rooftop garden if it means seeing you bug out like that again. Get it? Bug out?”

Queen Bee pouted, snatched the flower out of Marinette’s hands, and turned around with a huff. “So mean…”

Marinette picked the flower crown off of her head and started eyeing the yellow bouquet of flowers still sitting in the paper she’d bought it in. “Yup. You’re definitely getting a crown now.”

#miraculous ladybug #chlonette #chloenette #maribee #chloe bourgeois #marinette dupain-cheng #queen bee #miraculous ladybug fanfiction #maribee fanfiction #my writing #ask #anonymous #tumblr fic

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equivvitch · 7 years

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Fassathon: A Summary (Part I)

So, this summer, in the year of Our Lord 2017, I decided to do something stupid and unnecessary, as I do, by watching every single theatrically-released movie Michael Fassbender has been in thus far. Every single one. I dubbed it the Fassathon and didn’t rest until I was finished. (I know a lot of his early career was in television and in television movies (trust me I know the only thing I have to type in my search bar is “im” and his IMDb page pops up automatically) and given more time I’ll probably watch some of those but for the sake of not having to watch like seven more movies I granted myself that leniency.)

All in all, I’d say it took about two months. In total I believe I watched 24 movies, having already watched five beforehand (the new X-Men trilogy, Shame, and Jane Eyre) for a grand total of 29 damn movies (full disclosure, one was a bonus which you’ll see eventually but whatever). Some of them were actually ones I needed/wanted to watch but a lot were….not.

In any case, for the sake of posterity and making myself feel better about being a dumbass, I decided to write up some kind of summary piece about it, so that’s what this is. It got fuckign long so it’s gonna be divided into three parts: two just reviewing the movies and one with some summary thoughts.

This is part one, but first, it wouldn’t be a post by me without eighty disclaimers so let’s get that out of the way first:

This is all subjective obviously. Keep in mind I had to watch all of these so a lot of times I tended to compare them more to themselves than films as a whole. I tried to see the big picture after the fact but when you have 28 films to watch you tend to get hyper-focused on the task at hand. Also I’m not a film critic. I’m just an asshole and a dumbass, a dumb asshole if you will. I am interested in film theory but that means about jack since I have no formal education in it.

It should also be noted that a) Fassbender’s performances in these movies were almost uniformly excellent. The man can carry a movie on his goddamn back and often does if required to do so. This was noted consistently to the point of it being funny in the reviews of each movie. b) A lot of these are British movies. They’re not Hollywood. Just…..pointing it out. And c) I’m 1000% attached to some of these films/franchises outside of this “challenge.” X-Men in particular and also Jane Eyre I’m invested in deeply so that might affect my ideas.

That out of the way, without further ado, some reviews, thoughts, and recommendations:

X-Men: First Class (Erik Lehnsherr)

Rating: 8/10

Quick Summary: At the height of the Cold War, Charles Xavier and Erik Lehnsherr meet under unlikely circumstances and form an even more unlikely bond. They end up with a common goal in defeating a ghost of Erik’s past, Sebastian Shaw, who is determined to cause nuclear war between the U.S. and Soviet Union in hopes of destroying all humans and making way for mutant rule. The two set out and put together a team of mutants to help combat him, but push their relationship in the process to an unfortunate breaking point.

Some Thoughts: I have watched First Class so many times you have no idea. Understand, I once did a full rewatch of this movie for the sole purpose of fact-checking a post that was talking about how many times Charles says “Erik” throughout the movie. I sat there and tallied them by rewatching the entire thing. I love this movie to pieces, so I really have no ability to objective over it. Because of that I do know its flaws pretty well, trust me. It has issues (coughs about the ridiculous awful romantic subplots), but I really do think it’s a strong film and an interesting start to this quasi-reboot. Ultimately it’s a movie about the relationship between Erik and Charles, so that is its strongest point. There are some big shoes to fill, considering Sirs Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellan had the roles first, but McAvoy and Fassbender do a great job with it. It was stated in interviews that McAvoy was cast first and then they made the guys going out for the role of Erik read with him to cast a chemistry instead of a person and it shows. It really is shot like a love story, especially when the B-plot is an explicit romance between Hank and Raven. In my opinion it’s a fun ride, watching everyone meet and use their powers, train together and learn together. The ending is not that happy and I always shake hands with movies that dare to do that, especially big films like this (see GotG 2). It can be silly and frustrating at times, but after Last Stand I feel like we could only go up. I know some people really don’t like this movie which? I guess I’d like to hear from someone who doesn’t to understand why. That being said, Armando deserved better. Fuck his nonsensical death.

Warnings: Montages? Also some violence. Not a ton but what’s there sticks in your head.

Recommend?: Yeah! If you like superhero movies this is a pretty solid one.

X-Men: Days of Future Past (Erik, but this time in the 70s, and with less turtlenecks and more scarves)

Rating: 9/10

Quick Summary: (This plot is so convoluted I’m going to have to be vague otherwise this could take years.) In an apocalyptic future these robots called Sentinels are murdering everyone, particularly mutants because at one point a guy named Dr. Trask got ahold of Mystique’s DNA and used it to make them indestructible. The always wonderful and patient Logan gets sent back to the past to try and stop this from happening. There he finds Charles in a terrible, drug-induced spiral having lost everything and has to attempt to get him out of it so he can help find Raven who’s gone rogue and wants to kill Trask for his experimentation on mutants. In the process they join up with Erik, courtesy of Peter/Quicksilver, which doesn’t go well, which no one could have ever seen coming. The whole thing comes to a head when Raven has to decide whether to become a murderer and risk an even darker future or let Trask walk free and go against what she believes in.

Some Thoughts: I remember so clearly sitting the theatre and seeing the first preview for this, turning to my family and joking about the really stupid title. Like “Days of Future Past? What kind of title is that?” It’s up there with Back to the Future in terms of dumb titles, but is somehow pretty much acknowledged as the best of the current three, alternate timeline movies?? In spite of its ridiculously convoluted plot, it’s a really solid film and has great character development for two of the big players, Charles and Raven. Wolverine acts as a familiar foundation and point of view for the story and grounds it as he often does. Charles has to learn to stop trying to control those around him and move on with his life despite past losses, and Raven has to make a pivotal choice for her character. The scene at the end where it’s flipping between the future and past and all the original cast and the new cast are fighting at the same time is really cool, and the character arcs are strong and satisfying. The only one who doesn’t change much is Erik, but arguably First Class was his platform for character development or, more accurately, regression. He doesn’t do anything that helpful (which is….true to form) but watching him lift an entire fucking baseball stadium, fly it through the air, and drop it on top of the White House is pretty rad. Also Quicksilver is incredible holy shit the way they do his scenes is iconic. Kind of confusing maybe, but it also retconned almost the entirety of the original timeline in a genius move to destroy Last Stand once and for all. It’s usually called the best for a reason.

Warnings: Wolverine gets stabbed by stuff and shot a lot but that’s par for the course

Recommend?: Yep! But you might want to have watched some of the other movies first. Watching it with no background would probably be….too much.

X-Men: Apocalypse (Still Erik/Polish(?) Lumberjack/Poster child for Man Pain™)

Rating: 5/10

Quick Summary: An ancient mutant named Apocalypse (or En Sabah Nur if we’re going to be technical) awakens in the midst of the 80s (because there must be a 10 year gap between each movie it’s a rule). He used to rule but now he doesn’t and he’s mad so now he wants to destroy the world or some shit and rebuild it in his image. He does this by getting together his four horsemen (get it) including Erik who is inexplicably in Poland with yet another family that gets fridged. The X-Men find this out and get together to take him down.

Some Thoughts: I can (and have) ranted about this movie for literal hours. I have some serious personal gripes with it and it annoys me to the point where I’ve blown it out of proportion so keep that in mind. That rating might be a bit low but this movie is mediocre at best. I guess the core of it is because the X-Men conflict is a lot more interesting when they’re up against some government entity or society as a whole rather than just some random villain, at least to me. This movie also does not have a strong foundation like the first two did, no solid grounding point. In XMFC it was Erik and Charles’s relationship, in DoFP it was Wolverine being the POV character, but in this we really have nothing. The stuff with the kids is probably the most interesting and I hope they do more of that in the upcoming sequel. It has a few good moments (Quicksilver’s scene and Erik dramatically throwing down giant steel beams in the shape of an “X” in front of Apocalypse as he switches sides to save Charles and co stick out in my mind) but it tends to drag otherwise. There are about twenty plots going on and it takes forever for them all to connect. The romantic subplot crap is a pain in the ass and dragging Moira back was particularly idiotic when you realize they once again gave her nothing to do in the final act except overlook Charles completely violating her personhood in the first movie by wiping her mind without consent so she can get back together with him. The shit with Erik’s Poland family is stupid even if it’s done well. Magneto of all fucking people does not need more man pain for god’s sake. Lawrence is so checked out she really might as well be a phone recording as Lindsay Ellis points out in her Loose Canon series on YouTube. The only one who really had any interesting development was Storm and I hope they keep on with her because she’s a really good character. There’s just not much there for me, or what is there isn’t of any value. I really hope the next one is better. (Probably a far-fetched hope but a girl can dream.)

Warnings: Lazy writing (and comic-book-movie-typical violence)

Recommend?: I mean you probably want to watch if you’re watching the series. It’s not the worst X-Men movie. I’m probably a little harsh on it. There are the Wolverine sequels. Still, if you’re not that invested, it’s probably not worth it.

Jane Eyre (Rochester)

Rating: 11/10 10/10

Quick Summary: Jane Eyre has lived a fairly unfortunate life, having been put under watch of her cruel aunt after her parents’ deaths and consequently sent to a boarding school that beats its pupils into submission, but remains strong in spite of this. She finds herself a new job as a governess at Thornfield Hall and soon meets its master, Edward Fairfax Rochester. The two begin to talk and form an interesting relationship in spite of their large age difference. Jane begins to fall for her employer, overlooking his rough exterior to the person underneath. Rochester reciprocates, but all is not well. Jane discovers her lover is hiding a dark secret and must decide whether to be true to her love for him or to herself.

Some Thoughts: I WOULD DIE FOR JANE EYRE TBH THE DAY NETFLIX TOOK IT OFF WAS A TRAVESTY. Really, though it’s such a good movie and very loyal to the book. It’s a period piece, but it’s very different from something like Pride and Prejudice, a lot because Jane is such an interesting character. I love her and Mia Wasikowska does a great job. Rochester is a bitch, but…..he’s a bitch with a good heart. Realistically he’s supposed to be kind of….not good looking? So casting Fassbender might have been counterproductive, but it does mean he has to compensate for his incredibly square jawline which can’t be hidden behind that shit sideburn beard with his acting, which he does very well. His charisma kind of helps to smooth over the fact that Rochester can be standoffish to viewers that aren’t prepared for him. He is no Mr. Darcy. The chemistry between the two is great and the story is really enthralling. The music is gorgeous and the ending is satisfying. Well-shot, well-paced, loyal to the original, just a great adaptation all together. It’s not a happy movie, but it has a happy ending. I really have nothing but good things to say about it. Please give it a chance if you’re even a bit interested.

Warnings: You might cry/a little blood

Recommend?: Yes!

Shame (Brandon)

Rating: 10/10

(Quick note: if you’re like “wow you sure aren’t harsh on these movies” listen this was back when I was actually choosing the ones I wanted to watch….so yeah….these are mostly good ones at first. There are definitely some bads on here….don’t you worry…)

Quick Summary: Without giving away everything: Brandon is a pretty normal man struggling with a sex addiction which he basically refuses to acknowledge at the beginning of the movie. His lifestyle is disrupted when his younger sister Sissy comes to stay at his apartment without asking him first. The rest of the film is about their complicated and mildly toxic relationship and Brandon dealing (and not dealing) with his addiction with mixed results.

Some Thoughts: This is one of those movies like Brokeback Mountain that just kind of….sticks on you. I felt that way about Silence of the Lambs too where you watch it and then you can’t really forget about it. Fassbender has worked with Steve McQueen who directed this film three times, this being the second, and they make a great pair. McQueen loves him some long takes and he does them well. His style of directing is unflinching to the point of it being uncomfortable which works well for the type of stories he likes to tell. It’s a very quiet movie, not much dialogue, but it really hits home. This really is one of Fassbender’s best of performances in my opinion. He can do a lot with just his expressions and it really shows here. The dynamic between him and Carey Mulligan who plays Sissy is really poignant. I probably could never do it justice with words alone. It’s difficult to watch, but worth it. It’s one of those movies where the protagonist doesn’t really grow, pointed out very blatantly here. True development hasn’t taken place, at least not yet. Whether or not you think it actually will after this is left up to how optimistic you are for the characters and the story.

Warnings: This is rated NC-17 for a reason. They do not shy away from anything and they do not cut you a break by easing into it. Translation: if you’re disinterested in becoming familiar with some very particular bits of Fassy’s anatomy I’d steer clear. Also strong warning for themes (and fairly graphic depictions) of self-harm.

Recommend?: I would never tell someone to watch this movie, but I would definitely advocate for it. Read the description (that a professional has written, not just mine fff), check the warnings, see if you’re up for it. This is one you need to choose to watch, not be forced to.

Macbeth (Macbeth)

Rating: 6/10

Quick Summary: Oh god, I still don’t remember the plot of this thing…. I swear I read it once but you’d be better off reading the Spark Notes or something. It’s based on the Shakespeare play (obviously) where this dude named Macbeth and his wife Lady Macbeth go around killing people to gain power because some weird ladies in the middle of a field told him he’d be king. Everyone fucking dies at the end per usual due to really ridiculous loopholes. A grand old time, as always, with Mr. ‘speare.

Some Thoughts: Listen pal I got food poisoning trying to watch this damn movie THE CURSE OF THE SCOTTISH PLAY IS REAL. But really, it’s kind of what you’d expect? All of this is coming from me, an idiot, who doesn’t remember the play super well and is shit at Shakespeare, so bear that in mind, but?? It stuck to the original pretty well. It’s played dead-ass straight, so know that right now. There is no humor in this movie ever; it’s completely serious. Also impossible to understand because it’s Shakespearean English in Scottish accents. You’d be better off with a background knowledge of the play I think. That said, the visuals in this movie are absolutely gorgeous holy shit. The ending fight scene is incredible. That alone made it worth the watch for me at least. Marion Cotillard who plays Lady Macbeth is amazing as well. What a great performance. It’s a solid film. You need to accept its no-nonsense attitude to get into it, but otherwise it’s fine.

Warnings: It gets pretty bloody, but not overly so.

Recommend?: Not really, unless you really like the play or have a good knowledge of it already. It’s beautiful, but a little too serious for the casual viewer. I assume that’s why its reviews are kind of mixed.

Prometheus (David)

Rating: 6.5/10

Quick Summary: Two scientists discover a series of ancient drawings, all of which are very similar despite appearing hundreds of years and thousands of miles apart. They believe this might be a clue as to how the human race came to be, a path to our creators. They set out on the Prometheus to investigate a planet they believe to be the origin of these so called “engineers.” Things go awry as one might expect when they find the planet is already inhabited, but not by any “engineers.” Moreover, several crewmembers have secret motivations of their own for coming along which doesn’t really turn out well for anyone.

Some Thoughts: I feel like a lot of people don’t like Prometheus because it’s a think-y movie. It’s not really an action-packed thriller like other movies in the Alien franchise. This was the first in the franchise I’d ever seen so I didn’t really go in with those kind of expectations which I think was to my benefit. If you go in looking for answers you’re probably going to not like it, but I just sort of went to have a good time and pretty much did. Noomi Rapace as Elizabeth Shaw is really great. I really enjoyed her as the main character. There are some really good actors in this movie and I think they do a good job. I loved Idris Elba’s character a lot for example. It’s a beautiful film as well. Fassbender plays David, the resident android of the ship. It was interesting to watch him play a robot because he is, to me, a very emotive actor and this had to be more restrained. I don’t remember the movie super well which probably speaks to it just being an average sort of film. It’s not great, but it’s not as bad as some people seemed to think it was. Just go along for the ride and it can be a good popcorn flick.

Warnings: There’s one really graphic surgery scene that was hard to watch, but otherwise it’s (compared to the other Alien film on this list) not too bad. It really is more introspective than bloody. Also, maybe obviously, there are aliens in this movie.

Recommend?: If you’re into sci-fi thought-pieces, sure. Just don’t go in expecting a masterpiece.

Alien: Covenant (Walter and David, yes both)

Rating: (completely subjective) 8/10

Quick Summary: A group of forgettable, idiot crewmembers who are all inexplicably married for no reason other than a desperate bid to get you to care about them in any way (you won’t. trust me. they’re so stupid you’ll probably rooting against them eventually) are piloting a ship called the Covenant with 2000-some passengers and a lot of embryos on a colonizing mission. Along the way they intercept a strange transmission coming from another habitable planet they hadn’t noticed before which is much closer and decide to investigate. Once there things take a turn for the worst. After several deaths and the completely avoidable destruction of their ship, they run into David who’s been living alone on the planet for ten years after the Prometheus crashed there. They soon learn that they would have been better off braving the planet and waiting for rescue alone.

Some Thoughts: Listen I went into this movie completely expecting it to be horrible. This really was the one that started it all, where I decided I’d watch all of them. I wasn’t going to watch it because it looked ridiculous, but then it was available to rent and I was curious. In all honesty, I really only went in to see with my own eyes how and why the actual hell Fassbender was playing two characters which at some point kiss, so that was part of it. Ultimately I ended up really liking it. Now mind you, this is not a good movie. It’s not. The cast is forgettable and stupid to the point where you just want them to die already and get it over with. The only person I even slightly cared about was Daniels, the main crewmember character you follow. People die without any pomp and the movie is riddled with clichés. That said, it is a lot more like what I expect an Alien movie usually is. There’s a lot more fighting of aliens and a lot more blood. So what’s with the rating? Really it’s completely subjective, but if you know me and watch this movie you’ll probably understand. Let’s just say I have a very specific type of character I tend to like and this movie delivers.

Fassbender carries this gotdamn movie on his back half the time and somehow pulls off the ridiculous scenario of him being the two different robots. The interactions between Walter and David really were some of the more interesting parts of the film for me, completely ridiculous as they are (“I’ll do the fingering”). If you can just suspend your disbelief and go with it I insist that it can be a good time. My favor of the movie really comes from my opinion of David and I think that’s what will make or break the movie for you. It was a ballsy choice of protagonist, and when you realize that I think the forgettable main crew is a little more justifiable. Big kudos for the ending as well, at least from me. It ended exactly the way I wanted it to, and I ended up being invested in who I needed to be invested in. It’s a stupid movie, but I do think you can have fun watching it if you’re in it for the right stuff (namely the fassbots).

(Also, people are not happy about the fuck-million more Alien movies in the works but hear me out…. I have a great pitch idea….what if with every new movie we just double the number of Fassbenders…… so there’s four and then eight and then sixteen all the way until we just have infinite Fassbenders….. listen this is a great plan Mr. Scott please hire me as script consultant from now on)

Warnings: This is a lot more of a horror movie than Prometheus. It’s bloody and violent, and yes there are more aliens. Also it is really stupid. Also warnings for that sweet, sweet ‘bot-on-‘bot action ;)

Recommend?: I mean….not really. Again my opinion is so subjective here that it’s worth a grain of salt. If you do, you need to watch Prometheus first because you need to form an opinion of David.

Hunger (Bobby Sands)

Rating: 5/10

Quick Summary: Without me sitting here for like a half hour looking up a lot of proper names and dates (which I’ve already done once when I was watching the damn thing), this a movie about a hunger strike led by a man named Bobby Sands. It takes place in a prison in Northern Ireland. A group of people called the Republicans who are fighting against being part of Britain and want one united Ireland are being arrested for political acts and are protesting in any way they can. This begins with bathing and clothing strikes, and eventually leads to a hunger strike when this accomplishes nothing.

Some Thoughts: So this is a critically-acclaimed movie and I know people really like it. I guess I can see why but compared to McQueen’s other films I didn’t think it was super impressive. It’s his first project with Fassbender and in a lot of ways it feels like an early-career film. It has a lot of pacing issues. I read reviews saying it’s two movies in one and it really is. As an American (and therefore a dumbass when it comes to conflicts in other countries because our history classes here are Shit) it was sort of a confusing movie to watch just because I didn’t really have any background knowledge about what was happening. I was doing a lot of googling throughout to catch myself up with the conflict and acronyms etc. It’d definitely strike more of a chord with someone who knew about it beforehand. It is a prison movie and it’s difficult to watch because of that. There’s a lot of mistreatment of prisoners and just kind of gross stuff in general. I was whining at one point about the hunger strike not starting until like…20 minutes before the movie ends but I see now why it didn’t because you’re basically just watching Fassbender starve to death from that point on and it’s Not Fun. There are impressive parts of it. There’s a long take of a conversation between Bobby and a priest where he explains his idea of starting a hunger strikes that is, I shit you know, seventeen fucking minutes long. It’s crazy. There are other long takes in the film but they’re not always used super effectively. This can cause the movie to drag at times. The use of sound in the movie is also really amazing. It’s very quiet usually, but picks its loud moments and picks them well. Overall I didn’t get much out of watching it, but that’s just me. I didn’t think it was worth the difficult watch.

Warnings: It’s unrated but I bet it would be R or even NC-17 if it was. Lots of disturbing shots of violence against prisoners and behaviors of the prisoners themselves tbh. There’s nudity as well, but it’s used as humiliation mostly. As usual, McQueen’s style of filmmaking is unflinching and watching someone starve to death isn’t fun.

Recommend?: Not really. McQueen has better films you could watch. Unless you’re personally interested in the conflict at hand, I’d skip it.

Frank (Frank)

Rating: 10/10

Quick Summary: An untalented aspiring musician named Jon suddenly stumbles across the opportunity of a lifetime to play in actual band when they find themselves out a keyboard player the day before a performance. Jon lends them a hand and is accepted into the group in spite of some friction with most of the members. They invite him back on what ends up being year-long trip into the woods to write a new album. While living with the band, the Soronprfbs, Jon gets to know the members better, as well as their many quirks. Notably, there is Don, the manager who seems level-headed if somewhat depressed, Clara, who doesn’t take Jon’s being there very well, and Frank, the apparent leader of the band. Jon takes a special interest in Frank who appears to be the heart and soul of the group. In spite of wearing a giant fake head at all times, he’s very friendly, encouraging, and strangely inspiring. As they work to write their album, Jon begins to record and post their progress on social media, gaining them a new following of people amused by their bizarre antics. This new popularity ends up landing them a bigger gig than they’ve ever had before, but comes at the cost of risking the band’s identity and solidarity.

Some Thoughts: Frank is an amazing movie. If someone wasn’t interested in Jane Eyre but wanted a Fassbender rec, I would 100% give this one. I love this movie to pieces and I’m so glad I watched it because I was initially on the fence with it. In fact, I liked it so much I watched it twice within my rental period, and have now purchased it. If you’re looking for something close to a comedy on this list, this is it. I kind of describe it as if Wes Anderson directed Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, threw in a strong lesson about mental illness, and bumped up the rating a bit. This movie is hilarious and wonderful and poignant. The message is a really good one and one I don’t think we hear a lot. It’s a good commentary on the relationship between art and mental illness, and it’s done respectfully for the most part. Fassbender as Frank is kind of incredible. You don’t see his face for the majority of the film, but he still gives an amazing performance. I think it shows how talented he is as an actor that he pulls this part off so well. You’re intrigued as much as Jon is by him, or at least I was. The humor is a little out there and some of the themes may be off-putting, but I really do think this is one to see. Maggie Gyllenhaal as Clara is fantastic as well. It’s a difficult part but she pulls it off so wonderfully. Domhnall Gleeson as Jon gives a decent grounding point of view character as well. It’s funny and touching and goddammit maybe someday I’ll watch one of these movies without crying but that ending hit me right in the heart.

Warnings: Themes of self-harm and mental illness are present. They’re not played as a joke, but they’re there.

Recommend?: Yes please watch this movie I beg of you it deserves all the praise

Fish Tank (Connor)

Rating: 5/10

Quick Summary: The movie is a coming-of-age story of sorts for the protagonist Mia. Mia has a difficult home life with a neglectful and often abusive mother as well as a penchant for causing trouble. Having been kicked out of school she is directionless which only furthers her spiral downward. Her only true passion is dancing, but she prefers to do this privately. One day she meets her mother’s latest fling, Connor. Unlike the others, however, Connor seems there to stay. Mia begins to interact with Connor and the two form a relationship. Connor is kind to both her and her younger sister, treating them with respect and parental affection they do not receive otherwise. Connor encourages Mia’s hobby and leads her to begin searching for a career in dancing, helping to turn her life around. Things take a turn when Mia and Connor overstep a boundary in their relationship and this leads to Mia discovering that Connor was not what she thought he was.

Some Thoughts: I’m very…ambivalent about this movie, so I don’t probably have a lot interesting to say about it. It seems to me that Fish Tank is a part of a very particular genre of movie about a specific part of the British lower class, making it difficult to relate to for someone who hasn’t experienced that way of life. I watched another movie called Beautiful Thing a long time ago that was part of this genre as well, and that’s what Fish Tank reminded me of more than anything else. It seems to be characterized by poor, crowded living conditions and abusive family dynamics more than anything else. The characters struggle to get by and are generally mean-spirited to everyone they encounter automatically. It can make for a bitter watching experience, even if it is realistic. Mia is a somewhat believable teenager. Since this is a British movie about hip-hop dancing however and the actress playing Mia has…little to no actual dancing skill, any parts of the movie that have to do with this dancing can be embarrassing to watch. You really have to accept that it’s stupid and move past it to watch the thing.

The relationship between Mia and Connor is…troubling which I’m sure it’s supposed to be but it’s never resolved. Some of the scenes in the movie are disturbing as some in Hunger. One of my biggest issues with the movie was there really seemed to be a conversation missing. The end of the film felt like it was lacking a crucial interaction between the two and it made the ending fall pretty flat, at least for me. I know people like this movie and it’s award-winning but I couldn’t relate to it in any meaningful way. It left me feeling conflicted more than anything else. I have no strong or final opinion on this movie. I do respect that it had a female director, but I feel as though I very clearly wasn’t its intended audience, so its impact on me was minor at best and non-existent at worst. There are some nice cheesecake shots in it of Fassbender I guess. I think it still wins for best ass shot afdjks;lj

Warnings: Some disturbing character behavior, especially from Mia. Abusive family dynamics and physical child abuse are also present. Also statutory r*pe. Also some really embarrassing excuses for hip-hop dancing and general cultural appropriation shit that comes from a British movie about hip-hop.

Recommend?: You can try it, but I wouldn’t advocate for it. There are better artsy films to watch unless you’re actually in the target demographic and think you might like this sort of movie.

Inglourious Basterds (Lt. Archie Hicox)

Rating: 7/10

Quick Summary: When she was young, Shosanna’s family was murdered by Nazis hunting down Jewish families who had escaped to France. Now, as a young woman, she finds herself with the opportunity to get revenge. Meanwhile, Lt. Aldo Raine has formed a group of rogue Nazi-hunters called the Basterds, infamous throughout Germany for their lack of restraint and ability to avoid capture. His team is hired by the Allies to help with a plot to hopefully take out all the big political figures in the Nazi party, including Hitler himself, in one fell swoop. It just so happens these two plans are meant to take place in the same place, on the same night.

Some Thoughts: This is the first Tarantino movie I’ve ever seen and I do think it was good for me to at least see one. I was glad to see the movie itself too, actually. It was one on here I just needed to watch outside of this thing. I enjoyed it for all it reveled (as expected) in gore occasionally. I really loved Shosanna. Mélanie Laurent did an excellent job with her and she was easily the best part of the film for me, though I did enjoy Brad Pitt’s shenanigans as Aldo. Fassbender has kind of a bit part in this one which was a little different, since he tends to steal the spotlight otherwise. It really wasn’t my favorite performance of his. It was a little unfocused, though that might be because his character is just a plot device. Kind of a shame but in true X-Men fashion all he did was show-up, fuck things up, and then make his exit. Ah well. It’s well-shot and a good time, if a little long. The blood was there, but not excessive. Maybe a good choice if you, like me, wanted to see one of these movies, but were a little nervous about the violence.

Warnings: Typical Tarantino violence, I presume. Really, it’s just a few focused shots of it, but there is scalping in this movie, as well as some mutilation and gunshot wounds. I whipped my hand up to cover the screen more the once throughout and I’m pretty decent with blood.

Recommend?: Sure. It’s a pretty solid film and last time I checked it’s free on Netflix.

Centurion (Quintus Dias)

Rating: 6.5/10

Quick Summary: In the something-or-other A.D. the Romans are up somewhere near Britain trying to expand the empire, as one does, but are having trouble with the native peoples of those lands called the Picts. The Picts keep decimating their armies, as they do with Quintus Dias’s men. The Picts take him in rather than killing him because he speaks their language, allowing him to escape and meet up with another regiment. Together, they try again to attack the Picts and again are defeated handily. This time the Picts take their general of sorts. Dias and a small group of men are the only ones to survive and attempt to rescue him, but ultimately fail. Afterwards they begin their attempt to escape to safety, all the while being hunted by the Picts.

Some Thoughts: So I fully expected to hate this movie. When I saw this was the other one on Netflix I was Not Happy, but? It kind of surprised me. I think really it did a couple small things well and that turned my favor of it. It really isn’t that great of a movie, with a lot of narration and not a ton to say, but it’s certainly not offensive. It turned into a survival movie rather than a war movie which I greatly preferred. They also weren’t super over the top with the romantic subplot which was….SHOCKING. Usually, in my experience with the Fassathon, if there can be a sex scene there Will Be A Sex Scene, but not here. They meet a cool witch lady along the way who takes to Quintus, but never is it obnoxious, nor does it waste time with it. It was a breath of fresh air tbh…. I’m probably patting this movie on the back for little things too much, but I really do think it could have been a lot worse. It’s fine. I don’t really know who the target audience was supposed to be but it might be good for a night when you’re bored and can’t think of anything else to watch. You get to watch Fassbender run valiantly and stupidly shirtless through the snow if nothing else.

Warnings: It can get bloody, but not overly so. Also mentions of past sexual assault, but nothing shown.

Recommend?: Eh…like I said. Maybe for the night you’re flipping around and there’s nothing on. Decent popcorn flick, probably not worth spending money on.

Trespass Against Us (Chad Cutler)

Rating: 3/10

Quick Summary: Nothing I could write will make this movie’s plot make any damn sense but I’ll try anyway. Basically there’s this family called the Cutlers who are….Irish tent-people and also a weird kind of mob family with a patriarch named Colby. They live in this little trailer park circle and commit crimes to get by. The plot basically revolves around Fassbender’s character Chad Cutler trying to get out from under Colby’s thumb in order to give his wife and two children a better life. Unfortunately, it seems again and again that he’s already dug his grave and there’s nothing to do but lie in it.

Some Thoughts: So this is a weird movie. The whole conceit is weird and another one that you just kind of have to go with to be able to watch it. Its problem is that it doesn’t really have an arc or a narrative that goes anywhere. If it really had wanted to do something it would have needed to allow Chad to make any progress in his attempts to get away. The dialogue is full of slang and really difficult to understand at times. The whole dynamic of the family is sort of confusing and it’s never explained, just thrust upon you immediately. There are some good interactions, notably between Colby and Chad. The parental relationship between Chad and his son is interesting too, but it really just doesn’t go anywhere with itself. I got a little caught up in the emotionality of it watching it, but looking back I can see how flawed it is. I really don’t see what the director was getting at. Also the religious overtones are strange and didn’t do a whole lot. Just kind of unimpressive if still nice to look at sometimes.

Warnings: Animal death. A lot, actually, and often purposeful. Disturbing behavior, especially one scene where a man is stripped and humiliated. It was surprising and difficult to watch.

Recommend?: Hard pass. Skip it.

300 (Stelios)

Rating: 4/10

Quick Summary: Gerard Butler leads a group of 300 dudes against a gigantic, vaguely racist depiction of the Persian army.

Some Thoughts: I have nothing original to say about this movie, I’m sure. I was……not super happy to find it on here honestly, so I did my best to just enjoy it by making fun of it. Most people know what 300 is like. It’s got some interesting visuals, but it’s definitely one that looks pretty and does as little as possible. Mostly it’s a male power fantasy interwoven with quite a bit of racism, particularly in the portrayal of the Persians. It’s saturated with slow-mo shots and rousing speeches that aren’t really that important to anything. It’s a good one to watch on a bad movie night probably if you don’t mind some of the gore. This was Fassbender’s first theatrical appearance if I’m correct and he’s fine. I guess one plus-side of this movie is that everyone’s practically naked the whole time and super buff so that can be fun to ogle if nothing else. It is what it is.

Warnings: Body horror, lots of blood, and war stuff. Tiddies? Racism? Scottish yelling?

Recommend?: It’s your life buddy. It’s probably one to see once so you can rag on it in good conscience.

Steve Jobs (Steve Jobs)

Rating: 9/10

Quick Summary: A movie shot in three parts showing a dramatized version of the events before the release of three of Jobs’s products, focusing in on his relationship with his coworkers as well as past lover and daughter.

Some Thoughts: This is an excellent movie. It’s another one I’d readily recommend to anyone. The scale of the script is unheard of, meaning it’s super dialogue-heavy but you don’t notice at all. It’s completely absorbing. The performances are top-notch all around. This is another one of Fassbender’s best performances. He sinks into the role completely and does a phenomenal job. Kate Winslet is equally wonderful and balances Fassbender’s Jobs well. I really knew nothing about Jobs before watching this movie and I don’t know how much is true and how much is dramatized but I think that shows that even someone who knows nothing can enjoy it and find it interesting. The politics of it all were particularly wild to bear witness to. It’s a great character piece and it deserved the nominations it got in my opinion. I really liked Jobs’s relationship with his daughter as well. I don’t know how they managed to make a movie full of mostly talking so exciting but they did. I also think they did a great job of not idolizing Jobs at all, nor vilifying him. They walked a fine line and wrote him so he seemed truly human rather than a historical figure. That’s hard to do but they nailed it. Once again, I have little bad to say. If you’re not interested in Jane Eyre, Shame, or Frank here’s another good option for you.

Warnings: The IMDb parental advisory page said something about there being some sex/intimacy stuff but I never saw anything which makes me Highly Suspicious

Recommend?: Yes! Give it a chance!

(cont. in pt. 2 / pt. 3)

#fassathon #shut up alice #holy shit an actual post?#that's never happened before #listen i know this is long as shit #and no one's going to actually read this #but i spent a long-ass time on this #and i wanted to actually put it up for posterity #really i'm just proud of how hard i dragged the counselor #i'm sure there are grammatical errors in here but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#i had to wrap this thing up somehow #it's 1000% self-indulgent but....i don't Care #if i had anywhere more appropriate to post this i would but....#where tf else am supposed to put this crap

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robininthelabyrinth · 7 years

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Everybody Wants to Rule the World (except Len and Mick)

Fic: Everybody Wants to Rule the World (except Len and Mick) (ao3 link) Fandom: DC's Legends of Tomorrow, the Flash Pairing: Mick Rory/Leonard Snart, Mick Rory/Leonard Snart/Barry Allen

Summary: After the Oculus spits Leonard Snart out, he and Mick go home and let the Legends carry forth hunting down the mysterious time-travelling saboteur by themselves. Clearly this is a mistake, because next thing they know, they're waking up in something that people are calling "Doomworld."

Well, that just means it's up to Len and Mick to fix it -

Except that, too, is a mistake, because now they're somehow ruling the world and, worse, the official owners of one Barry Allen, speedster.

A/N: No actual dubious consent was involved except in the world-ruling.

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After everything, they go home.

Len's still nauseous from his adventure in the Oculus - not unlike a whirly-gig, he'd explained, just through time - and Mick, well, Mick was pretending he was over the whole Kronos thing a lot more than he really was.

He only has so much room to feel hurt, and the hurt of losing Len had eclipsed it all - right up until the Oculus had spat Len out onto the floor of the Waverider in the middle of one of the worst timestream storms either Rip or Mick had ever seen.

According to Len, the Oculus swallowed him, but didn't think he tasted good. Too much truck with speedsters.

Len's explanations for the Oculus change every time. Nobody ever pointed it out.

It didn't matter, not to Mick. Len is back. He’s back. They’re back together.

They go back.

Back to Central, Len's beloved city. Back where they belong.

"There's still more to do," Ray said to Mick, right before they'd left for home. "Travel the timeline with us. Help protect it with us."

"We're thieves, not heroes," Mick replied. He hesitated. Ray had been kind, trying to fill the hole Len left behind, backing off when Mick had made it clear he didn't want that hole filled. "But thanks for offering, Haircut."

They spend some time lying low when they get back. Nice, quiet. Looking at blueprints like they're thinking of pulling a job, but not seriously. Fiddling with their guns.

Quiet.

It's two weeks before Len says, "I think I died."

It's another two days before Mick says, "I think I did, too."

Another two hours before Len says, "I remember it."

Two minutes before Mick says, "Me, too."

They look at each other.

"Two hours?" Len offers, getting up to get the hard liquor, the stuff that's been sitting in the corner, waiting for them to get their act together. It's the way they've always done it when fists didn't get them where they needed to go - the drink let them pretend it was the alcohol spilling feelings, not them.

Lets them pretend they got so drunk that they both totally black out the whole experience, too.

"Make it two days," Mick says. They have a lot to talk about.

He goes first. Kronos is - he learned a lot. He did a lot. He suffered a lot. Some of that was Len's fault. Some of it wasn't.

There were some good parts. Ginny, his AI - he'd liked her.

"Parked her somewhere secret outside Nanda Parbat," Mick says. "But I told her to go to rest in Keystone if I didn't come for her."

"We can go pick her up," Len offers. "Put her in the basement."

Mick's shoulders, which had been tightening up at the thought of more time travel, relax. The basement. Yes. That was good. Their favorite, most legitimate safehouse - more warehouse than anything else, but the cops wouldn't touch it. They kept parts of their stashes there.

It would be a good place to put Ginny and her ship. Give her a place to rest her head not too far from Mick, but not so close he might feel compelled to use her. Not close enough for the nightmares, which have never gone away, to gain in power.

"We should do that," Mick agrees.

Len goes next. He talks about his motivations with the crew, how they changed; he goes back in time, talks about how killing his old man after so many years of terror felt; jumps forward again, talks about 2046, how he'd been afraid of losing Mick; back again, talks about Barry, the superhero, about how being a supervillain filled some part of his soul...

He talks about Kronos. How he'd felt, waking up tied on that ship. About Mick's threats.

About smashing his hand.

"I'm sorry," Mick says. They don't do that, don't say that, but this one was a whopper of a fuck-up. He can always blame the drink, all three of them he's had. Nowhere near his tolerance.

"I shouldn't have left you," Len whispers, and Mick understands that he blames himself.

Talking that out takes the rest of the evening.

They're sick the next day - even drinking slow, that's a lot of liquor - but they keep going. Scab after scab, wound after wound, until they've lanced every boil, till they're back to equilibrium.

Hot and cold, fire and ice. Balanced.

"So," Mick says, as they put back the bottles. "Sara, huh? Thinking about her as a third?"

They've been looking for a while. They've always worked better with a third, someone to keep company with when Mick burns too hot or Len goes too cold, someone to remind them they don't want to split apart, but they've never found someone worth keeping. Mick's content to let Len do the footwork; he's far more charming.

"I was," Len admits. "But she's pretty tied up with her new gig with the timeline, and I think we've both had enough of that."

Mick nods, not disagreeing.

The next day, Len gets to planning their next job. Seriously, this time. "Need to get our grove back before we go up against the Flash again," he says, grinning.

The first heist - Coast City - goes well enough. Not great - even Mick has to admit it's a little boring without having to account for the Flash - but well enough.

The next one - in Bludhaven - goes great. Mick rediscovers the joy in getting one over the cops, Len gets to indulge his taste for violence

(The Oculus didn't let you move, Len explained; not frozen but limp, forever and always. Some days he wakes up certain that he’s still there, for all that Mick shoves books about sleep paralysis at him.)

Mick's dragging his feet about going to pick up Ginny, afraid of nightmares, so one day Len sets up a nice burn for him - picnic blanket, giant bonfire tended to by other people, singing and dancing, some holiday of Len's that Mick loves - and does it himself, which means Mick comes home to their warehouse and Len tells him she's in the basement.

"How did you find her?" Mick asks, amazed. Ginny, like all time ships, is designed for camouflage.

Len shrugs, a little abashedly. "Ever since the Oculus spun me through its core like a ball inside a washing machine, I have a good sense for things that go through the timeline. Like a weathervane. Or a compass."

Mick nods, doesn't comment, and goes to talk to Ginny.

That night, Len's the one with nightmares.

They don't talk about it again. It's not their way to, not without the drink and the excuse - not without an emergency.

An emergency is what happens a few months later, in April.

They're having a quiet day - Mick working on souping up their cycles, Len reading a fiction book for once - and then suddenly Len's head jerks up like he's heard an explosion.

"What's up?" Mick asks, reaching for the gun sitting within reach - always within reach.

He's expecting many things - anything from the Flash to time pirates and back - but Len shakes his head and jumps to his feet, eyes wide with panic.

"The timeline," he says. "We need - guns, and to the basement. Now!"

They go.

At Mick's instruction, Ginny puts up her strongest shields, the ones that have never even been tested, designed to hold off an Oculus blast if need be. (Mick had designed them in his head in those long, painful months without Len, installing them only recently.)

Just as Ginny confirms that they are in place, the timestream surrounds them.

"Did we take off?" Mick asks, staring at the green swirls out of the window, which had previously shown nothing but dirty concrete walls.

"No," Len says grimly. "The timestream came to us."

"How is that possible?"

"I don't know. Someone is shaking the foundations of the world and re-writing them."

"An aberration?"

"No, worse. They're actually changing the entire course of the timestream. Reality itself."

"Will we be affected?"

Len puts his hand against the window pane. A curl of blue light within the green reaches back, brushing the pane from the outside almost lovingly, a caress from a dear friend.

"No," he says, and his eyes are strange and not the color they were a moment ago. "Our shields will hold, I think. But the world..."

"Shit," Mick says feelingly. He rather liked the world.

He hoped what they found when they went out wouldn't be too bad.

The time storm lasts the whole night - they curl together in Kronos' bed; Mick rewriting his terrible history in the eerie blue glow of Len's eyes - and in the morning they come out to find...

"An evil dictatorship," Len says flatly.

"Should've guessed, really," Mick agrees.

"They call their centralized organization that runs the world Doomworld. They're not even trying to be subtle!"

Mick picks up a newspaper while Len's ranting. He hums. "Looks like some guy calling himself Lord Eobard Thawne solved global warming, though."

"Well, yeah; what's the point of making your own universe if it sinks in a few years, I guess. Wait, Lord? How goddamn pretentious. What do we know about him?"

Mick grins. "You're going to like this," he says.

Len arches an eyebrow. "Changed universe," he reminds Mick. "I don't think I'm going to like any of it."

"This you will."

"Fine; I'll bite. What is it?"

Mick hands him the newspaper. "Eobard Thawne is a speedster."

Len pauses even as he takes the newspaper and spreads it before him.

"You're right," he murmurs, looking at the full-page spread showing Thawne running in a streak of red light. "I do like this."

-------------------------------------------------------

The world, they find, hasn't changed all that much.

Really.

The Particle Accelerator still happened, for one thing; the Flash's exploits, for another. Star City is still - well, a raging dumpster fire, but that's normal for Star City.

Honestly, the only thing that's changed is the almost phlegmatic way everybody accepts Doomworld and what Len has taken to snidely calling the Terrible Trio – Eobard Thawne, Damien Darkh, and Malcolm Merlyn – as their evil overlords.

Oh, there's a resistance, of course - what evil overlord dreamland doesn't have a nice little resistance to hunt down and destroy at their leisure? - but it's not much to look at.

"They don't even appreciate a challenge," Len grumbles.

"Pathetic," Mick agrees.

They can't find the Flash anywhere, and it seems like Sara is now a brainwashed death-squad member. They haven't see any of the other Legends, but guesses weren't good.

"Haircut might be able to make something to fix the brainwashing," Mick suggests. "If we can find him."

"Maybe," Len says, watching Sara and a black girl he doesn't recognize prance around in black leather and lethal smiles. "But if these assholes will dress them up like fetish models, I don't know if we can afford to wait for him to build something."

Mick nods grimly. That hadn't occurred to him, but it should have.

He doesn’t like the blank way Felicity Smoak smiles from her position standing behind Malcolm Merlyn in the newspaper photos much, either. She’d been nice. She deserved better than being a supervillain evil overlord's secretary.

"So," Mick says. It's a question.

"Yes," Len says. It's an answer.

That's all they need to say to each other, after all these years. They might be villains, sure, but they didn't work with the Families and they didn't truck with people who exploited power to cause others pain.

And they certainly didn't permit it in their city now that they were supervillains.

"He'd better not have killed the Flash," Len mutters darkly. "I liked him."

"There's got to be a way to fix this," Mick says. It's more hope than anything else - that timestream flood had been something new. Different. Scary.

Even Kronos had never heard anything like it.

But it makes Len nod, more determined than ever.

In the end, it takes them ten days, most of which was spent planning for contingencies.

They go to Star City, where Damian Darkh makes his home. The main hub of Doomworld is where the old STAR Labs used to be in Central, of course, but Darkh clearly had a grudge against the Star City vigilantes, or he wouldn't have made himself the mayor of a fairly insignificant city or sent his death squads against them - luckily, those he already captured were sentenced to public executions which had yet to take place.

Darkh is expecting heroes to attack, that much is clear with the obvious guards and shields. But he hasn't discounted the threat potentially posed by his fellow Doomworld leaders - he also has defenses against sneak attacks (Merlyn) or speedsters (Eobard).

He doesn't have any proper defenses against a clever thief who's happy to distract him with a smile and a story while his partner ices him in the back.

(Mick's few extra months of being a Legend were very useful - Darkh is so eager to use him against the others, he forgets about Mick's poor, dead partner.)

Once Darkh is dead, it's easy enough to call in Merlyn, nominally for a meeting, only for Mick to light the whole waiting room he's in on fire.

Merlyn really shouldn't have spent all that time on defenses to magical and sword attacks. Acknowledging diversity can change your life - or save it, in this case. Even if it is only diversity in styles of killing people.

"Two down," Mick says.

"One to go."

They return to Central even as word spreads of the two deaths in Star City.

Thawne is expecting them - generally, anyway. He's a little surprised to find them already waiting in his throne room.

"Captain Cold and Heatwave," he says ingratiatingly, clearly willing to play the cards he has with a slick snake-oil salesman's smile. "Welcome. It appears you've done me a favor. What reward -"

"This city is ours," Len says, and fires.

Thawne dodges.

"You don't want power?" he asks. "You could take Merlyn and Darkh's places -"

"I don't want to rule the world," Len says, firing again. Thawne dodges like it's nothing and the shot goes wide of the mark.

"Pity you won't listen to reason," Thawne says with a smirk, and charges straight at Len, hands buzzing like chainsaws.

The sound he makes when he's yoinked into Scudder's mirror-world is honest-to-god hilarious.

"Payment time," Scudder says, appearing on the outside of the mirror.

"Not yet," Len says, stepping out from the side of the room where he'd been play-acting for Scudder's mirrors. He aims his gun and freezes the mirror. If Scudder's right, and Len does trust him to know his own powers, then in just a moment -

The mirror shatters and Thawne staggers out, totally disoriented. That disorientation means he doesn't dodge or run, leaving him open to be hit dead on by the blast of Lisa's spare gold gun.

Mick's idea, since Lisa's off in the Caribbean, relaxing. No one ever expects Mick to use anything but fire, especially not now.

Speedsters can shake off a lot. Gold plating? A little trickier. Thawne will have to figure out the vibrating frequency of gold before he can escape that.

Len doesn't give him a chance to do that. He ices the gold statute and shatters it into a hundred pieces.

"Payment," Scudder insists.

"I'm sorry I tried to kill you," Len recites through gritted teeth. A deal's a deal, no matter how dumb. "And the rest of the stash that I owe you is in the place on Willow Street."

Scudder studies him suspiciously. "And you won't try to kill me or Rosa again?"

"Don't date and then cheat on my sister again," Len shoots back. “Either of you.”

"...right," Scudder says, wincing in acknowledgment. "Me and Rosa are moving to Star City. No hard feelings?"

"Good luck with Star City," Mick says, swapping out the gold gun for his own heat gun to start melting the remaining gold pieces. His tone is final. Scudder makes like a tree and leaves.

Len hopes he also makes like a mirror and reflects, but he doubts it.

"So, that's that," Mick says.

"Good riddance," Len agrees. "Now the world can go back to normal."

Now that the threat is gone, they can restore the Legends and get them to fix the time stream.

No problem.

"Sir," someone says from the door. There's a small crowd of people in business suits.

"What?" Len asks.

"I suppose the first order of business is, how would you like to be addressed?" one of them asks.

"Addressed?"

"As the new leaders of Doomworld," the person clarifies.

Len and Mick exchange horrified looks.

Maybe not 'no problem'.

It turns out the entire system of Doomworld relies on there being an evil overlord, a role that can be obtained by murdering any of the three existing leaders. Since Len and Mick did the murdering, the role falls to them.

"That's a terrible system of inheritance!" Len exclaims. "Is everyone going to be gunning for us, now?"

"No, no," the chief bureaucrat says soothingly. "It only applied to the original three – Lord Thawne, Master Darkh, and Ra’s al Ghul, also called Lord Merlyn."

"Wait. Only them? But why?!"

"They were all planning on getting each other," Mick says.

"Of all the stupid..."

"What's the consequences if we don't do it?" Mick asks the guy.

The list is - very, very long.

The Terrible Trio had been very thorough. They ruled the whole world, not just parts of North America - the world was now under a unified world government, all of which referred to and was subject to the great big administrative body which was Doomworld. Doomworld was designed to fall apart without an overlord. If Doomworld fell apart -

World war.

"You've got to be kidding me," Mick says flatly.

"Afraid not," Len drawls. He's regained his cool. "Don't worry, Mick; it's just until the Legends fix it, right?"

"...right."

"Oh, and there's the matter of the personal inheritance," the bureaucrat says.

"Personal?"

"Yes, of course. Lord Thawne's pet."

"A speedster with a pet," Len says, looking amused. "What is it? A cheetah? Peregrine falcon?"

The bureaucrat nods at the doorway, where Barry Allen is being lead in by a leash attached to some sort of high-tech looking collar. "Another speedster," the bureaucrat says.

Len gapes.

Mick gapes.

Barry rubs behind his head. "Uh," he says. "Hi, guys?"

This is a serious problem.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

"So let me get this straight," Len says. His voice is cool, but Barry can tell he's incredibly pissed off. "You have to obey the leaders of Doomworld - currently us."

"Yep," Barry confirms.

"And you need to be in physical contact of some sort with us for at least an hour a day or else you're in agony from the collar that none of us can remove, not even with our guns." Len sounds positively murderous.

"Eobard didn't get to do anything," Barry assures him. "He was too bust plotting against Merlyn and Darkh - he thought they were going to team up against him - so he just liked making me beg for him to touch me and then, uh, petting my head."

"Creep," Mick grumbles.

"I don't disagree," Barry says rather fervently.

"So how much do you remember of the timeline?" Len asks.

"Enough to know it changed," Barry says. "The speed force protected me from losing my memories."

"Right," Mick says. "Ramon ought to have the same, right?"

Barry makes a face. "They made him a millionaire," he says ruefully. "It might take a while before he remembers everything."

"We'll call him and get him to remove the collar," Len says firmly. "You can't possibly stay like this."

"Of course not," Barry agreed.

Unfortunately, Cisco refused to be found. His secretary apologized, then announced he was busy, then admits he's on a trip - not due back for a few more days. No way for him to return early, sorry.

"This is ridiculous," Len says.

Barry agrees, trying to hide his restless fidgeting. He was going to need that physical contact soon, but he didn't want to pressure the two supervillains who were currently in the middle of saving the world.

Mick's hand falls on Barry's shoulder.

All of Barry's muscles go slack with beautiful, wonderful release. He sighs happily.

"Appreciate it if you mention it next time," Mick says. "Don't want you to suffer."

"You try to light me on fire on a regular basis," Barry reminds him.

Mick shrugs. "That's for fun. This is just creepy."

Barry has to agree. Obeying Eobard Thawne - who took great pleasure in bringing up Flashpoint and force-feeding Barry Big Belly Burger for days on end - was not his idea of fun. Fighting Len and Mick was - closer.

Especially since Barry and Len made their deal, and then they went on the trip with the Legends. Mick had been really helpful for fighting the aliens.

Mick leaves his hand there as long as possible, but eventually he just yanks Barry onto the couch, squished right between him and Len. It's blissful. Barry could nap. Barry might nap.

"This isn't good," Len says.

Barry cracks an eye open.

Len has been studying paperwork all evening. Barry had assumed it was for a heist.

"What isn't good?"

"All that work for a unified world government," Len says, looking disgruntled, "and no one's worked out a way to feed the parts of the world with famine? We're going to have an uprising calling for our heads - mine and Mick, that is, since they were brainwashed into loving the first trio - if we don't solve this."

"That's bad," Barry acknowledges. If Len and Mick died before they solved his collar problem, his 'ownership' would transfer to...well, Barry doesn't want to find out. Not to mention avoiding war and famine! "How do we fix it?"

"We need to buy time," Len says, reaching up to rub his eyes. "Mick and I, we left the Legends before any of this happened, so we don't know what doohickey the Terrible Trio used to fix the world up."

"You didn't check before killing them?"

"No time with the speedster," Len says. "And Darkh had Sara brainwashed to be obedient - except she was prancing around in skin-tight leather. We didn't want her to suffer."

"Merlyn had some of the Star City squad," Mick puts in. His eyes are still hot with anger. "Felicity."

Barry nods. "So you took them out."

"It seemed wise to prioritize that," Len says. "Now we just need to get the Legends to tell us what they were doing so we can reverse it."

Barry nods again. "Makes sense. Where are they?"

"Sara's in Star City and we've, uh, summoned her. But the others? No clue."

"We haven't really had time to look," Mick grumbles. "Stupid evil overlordship."

"I can go look for them," Barry offers. "I mean, I'm your, uh, pet. I probably have enough authority to get them to come with me. And I'll be much faster."

"What about your physical contact issue?"

"I'll run back and we can do it, then I set out again," Barry says. "I'm fast enough that it won't really lose that much time."

"I'm not sure we'll have time," Len says, shuffling through the papers. His drawl has dropped off almost entirely, which Barry takes to mean that he's really worried. "If we want the machinery of Doomworld to keep working and not dissolve into world war around us, we have to spend a fair bit of time 'receiving' an audience. While sitting on - no. No. They did not name it that."

"What?" Mick asks.

Barry sniggers. He knows what Len found.

"What?" Mick says again, looking between the two of them, Len's exaggerated horror and Barry's shit-eating grin. "What is it? What'd they name it?"

"I think," Barry says with relish, "that he's talking about your Throne of Darkness."

Mick stares for a second and then puts his head in his hands. "I need a drink."

Barry reaches out and presses a hidden button the way Eobard always used to.

A person appears, wearing a Doomworld uniform, looking inquisitive.

"Bring alcohol," Barry instructs. "Including some of that stuff Eobard was always drinking. Oh, and lots of dinner. Thanks!"

The person nods and retreats as silently as they came.

Barry smiles, pleased.

Len and Mick are both staring at him in disbelief.

"What?" Barry says. "You have to play the role until the Legends fix this, right? Might as well enjoy some of the perks."

Besides, ever since Eobard said he'd changed the fabric of reality to create a type of alcohol that actually worked on speedsters, Barry has been dying to try it.

"Oh, god," Len drawls. "We've shacked up with an optimist."

"We're fucked," Mick agrees.

"You're both drama queens, that's what you are," Barry tells them.

---------------------------------------------------------

Mick's amazed that the system works as well as it does. Both generally - the administrative body that really runs Doomworld is seriously insane - and interpersonally, with Barry.

Barry runs out every morning to go search for the Legends, which takes some doing - they don't know what city they're in, or if they're under a different name, and at any rate they don't know how to fix their brainwashing anyway - and comes back around noon for lunch and to spend a few hours sitting at their feet at the Throne of Darkness, which is apparently an entire gigantic hall in which the leaders of Doomworld listen to problems and rule on them like Hollywood's idea of fantasy universe monarchy.

Barry says he's much more okay with the whole thing now that there are pillows. He refuses to take the third throne, saying it's better to be underestimated and also it would keep him from leaning against their legs and getting his hair petted, all the physical contact his collar requires.

Mick suspects he just likes having his hair petted.

This suspicion is borne out by how often Barry just so happens to ‘accidentally’ cuddle himself around Len, who can be counted on to fold like a house of cards at the merest suggestion that Barry could use some more contact, even though he has clearly met his quota for the day.

Len provisionally gives the third throne to Lisa, who point-blank refuses to return from her Caribbean vacation to do paperwork.

Mick is unsurprised. Paperwork sucks, even when he has Barry to help speed-read it and Len to help make decisions. Not that Len can always help - there's so much to do, they've decided to split it.

The relief on the faces of the Doomworld bureaucrats is noticeable. Apparently the Terrible Trio had created the structure to rule the world and then promptly dicked around instead of actually ruling it, with a side order of prompt execution if someone pestered them too long about doing their fucking jobs.

It’s a lot of work, ruling the world.

Mick does get to put in place a few committees to take his rough ideas about the criminal justice and mental health system to flesh out into actual proposals. He’s kind of hoping to see what they come up with before they fix the world and go back to normal.

(Barry is sitting next to Mick and Mick’s got an arm slung over his shoulders, his fingers on the back of Barry’s neck, kneading the tense muscles there a little. Barry sighs with happiness. Mick suspects he’s being used for backrubs.)

Turns out someone ended up making Ray a janitor, of all things.

He’s still a mechanical genius, though, so he has a couple of ideas that could result in a mental ‘realignment’ for people who have been brainwashed. Unfortunately, like most ideas, it was still in the beta testing stages.

Mick’s all in favor of getting him to finish that as soon as possible, with the assistance of Felicity and everyone else who had an interest in technology assigned to prioritize that project.

Meeting Sara had just been…creepy.

She and her partner – Amaya Jiwe – had swanned in and flirted their asses off, but not in the way Sara normally flirted. More like bad Bond girl flirting.

Len dismissed them very quickly.

“I liked her,” Len said plaintively afterwards. “I don’t like this her.”

Barry puts a hand on his knee. “We’ll fix her.” He hesitates. “When you say you liked her…”

“I was considering if she’d like to join me and Mick for an ongoing threesome,” Len clarifies. “It didn’t work out, as it happens.”

Barry’s eyebrows go up.

So does the placement of his hand on Len’s thigh.

“We’re looking for a permanent third,” Mick says, watching with interest as Barry’s hand creeps up. “Someone who likes us both.”

“Both,” Barry says nodding. “Very important. Actually…”

“Whatever happened to Iris West?” Mick asks. Pointedly.

Barry’s shoulders droop. “Eddie Thawne is alive,” he says. “So that Eobard Thawne can be alive. Iris doesn’t even remember we dated.”

“She’ll remember once we fix the world,” Len says soothingly. He hasn’t noticed the hand, because he’s an oblivious idiot – all physical contact is the same to him: initially terrifying until he’s given himself permission to accept it, at which point he doesn’t really notice nuance. It’s amazing he’s as good at flirting as he is, given that he doesn’t notice when it’s happening to him.

“I don’t want Eddie to die again,” Barry objects. “He was – he is – a really good guy.”

“You thinking of shaking up with both of them?”

“Iris is a one-true-love sort of person,” Barry says with a sigh. “Even if she liked me, she’d liked Eddie first and…well. She got together with me because everyone seemed to expect us to, and she grew to love me more and more along the way, because she’s amazing like that. But if she had a chance with Eddie…well. Iris can be my anchor without being my girlfriend. Or wife.”

“Ouch,” Len says.

“Yeah,” Barry agrees. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot.”

“So you’re not a one true love sort of person,” Mick says. Also pointedly.

“No, not really,” Barry says. “I’m pretty open to, uh, new ideas.” He pets Len’s thigh again, looking hopefully at Mick like he’ll come closer.

“Red,” Mick says. “If you want to play ‘the evil overlords take advantage of their spoiled pet’, you could just ask.”

Barry blushes tomato-red. “Uh,” he says.

"We'd be into it," Mick adds.

Barry grins crookedly. “Well. I mean. In that case…”

“No one is having sex with anyone until that collar comes off,” Len says.

Barry’s shoulders droop. “Why not?” he whines.

Mick agrees. He’s pretty close to whining himself. “Lenny…”

“We don’t know if he’ll feel the same way after it’s off,” Len says, and his voice has a tone of finality. “It could have features we don’t know about.”

“I promise I never even once thought about Eobard that way,” Barry says, looking nauseous. “He was, like, my mentor.”

“Ask again after your collar is off and we’ll see.”

Barry pouts. “Fine,” he says, and starts pulling his hand away.

“You can still feel me up,” Len clarifies. “We’re just not doing anything else.”

Barry grins.

“So, Len,” Mick drawls. “Barry, huh? You thinking of him as a third?”

“For longer than I’m going to admit,” Len concedes cheerfully.

“Good,” Barry says.

------------------------------------------------------------

Len is going to murder Cisco Ramon.

Well, he would, if he could goddamn locate the guy.

Mick has taken to feeding grapes to Barry while they’re on their throne. Barry has taken to lounging in increasingly suggestive positions.

Len is now beset by two people complaining about the lack of “evil villain despoils the intrepid hero” roleplaying going on.

And it’s not that he’s not interested – he is, far too much; he’s been trying to think of a good way to explain that supervillain vs. superhero fights are actually his terrible method of flirting to Barry for months prior to the trip with the Legends – it’s that he actually does have some morals in there. Somewhere.

He’s currently regretting that, but oh well.

Ray and Felicity can’t help with the collar, though they tried.

“It follows absolutely zero logic,” Felicity says, frustrated. “It’s like…”

“Someone just thought it up into existence?” Len asks.

“Yes! Exactly!”

Len sighs.

“We’re working very hard on the memory restoring device, though,” Ray says.

“Right,” Len says, pinching the bridge of his nose. He’s going to develop a headache, he just knows it. “And how is your vigilante boyfriend doing?”

“Vigilante boyfriend?” Felicity laughs nervously. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I mean, vigilante boyfriend. Sounds like something out of a comic book.”

“Or a movie,” Ray adds.

“Or a movie based on a comic book!”

“Or an animated television show inspired by a movie which is based on a –”

“I know that Oliver Queen is hiding in the rafters as we speak,” Len interrupts. Yep, headache, right on time. “Also, both of you have your shirts on inside out. I don’t mind if you take off some time to canoodle with the vigilante boyfriend who – let me remind you – I have pardoned. Just don’t let it interfere with your work.”

“Don’t worry,” Felicity assures him. “It’s been very inspiring. I mean, moving. Uh. I mean…”

“Just…stop.”

Len goes and has his secretary call Cisco Ramon again.

Still no luck.

Murder.

Where the hell is this guy?

The sooner he gets Miracle Inventor Man in his grasp, the sooner he can stop ruling the world.

Well, the sooner he can sleep with his husband and their new pet (not the kink he would've expected Barry to have, but he's very pleased regardless) and then stop ruling the world.

Priorities.

Len hasn’t even had a chance to steal something in ages.

Maybe he should take up the offer from the guy over in Metropolis to let him take over some of the running-the-world business…running a gigantic corporation has to be better experience for running the world than high-end theft, right…?

That’s when Len gets ambushed.

By heroes.

“What the fuck even,” Len says flatly, his back against the wall, gun up and out and at ready.

It’s Ramon, of course, and Caitlin Snow (wearing some weird get-up and with white hair) and Kid Flash – what was his name again? – and Iris West and Joe West and Eddie Thawne and some guy who looks like Harrison Wells but god only knows what he goes by or what universe he’s from; Len’s stopped counting. They’re all pointing various types of tech at him, which given Ramon’s capabilities, Len isn’t going to question.

“You need to let Barry go,” Ramon says.

“Are you kidding me?” Len exclaims. “I’ve been calling you for three weeks trying to get you to help me do just that! Your secretary kept saying you were busy!”

The whole group looks taken aback.

“I know you’ve been trying to get me to come in,” Ramon says cautiously. “I thought you wanted to take me out.”

“If I wanted to take you out, I’d send the death squad I inherited from Darkh,” Len says. “I want you to come help me fix Barry’s collar.”

“We’re not helping you fix Barry’s collar!” Iris exclaims.

“To get him out of it,” Len says, aiming for slow and loud and very clear since he’s clearly dealing with idiots. “Thawne put him in it; I want him out. It’s creepy.”

“He sits at your throne –”

“He needs a certain amount of physical contact a day or the collar shocks him, and I need to look evil overlord enough to make this whole system not collapse,” Len says. “It’s mutually beneficial.”

“If you’ve taken advantage –” Joe starts.

“He’s the one who’s flirting, not me,” Len shoots back.

“He is not!”

“Can we just get his collar off?” Len demands. "Then we can defer to his opinions on the subject."

“How do we know this isn’t a trick?” Cisco demands.

Len grinds his teeth. “Because –” he starts.

He doesn’t get a chance to finish, because there’s a familiar flash of lightning and suddenly Barry is standing there, blinking at all of them.

"Uh, hi, guys," Barry says. "...why are you pointing guns at Snart?"

"He's keeping you as a pet!" Joe exclaims.

Barry blushes.

"Clearly that part isn't the issue," Iris says dryly.

"...no," Barry squeaks. "But, uh, this collar..."

"I'm on it, man," Cisco says. Then he glances at Len. "Uh. Sorry for missing your calls and assuming you were out to kill me."

Len waves his hand. Bygones, bygones... "Actually, can you also fix the device for the Legends' memories?" he asks. "I want to not rule the world anymore."

"Really?" Iris asks.

"It's mostly paperwork."

"Huh," she says. "I could do a story about that -"

"Iris!" Joe snaps.

"- but will definitely wait to do that until after we finish rescuing Barry," she hastily concludes.

Cisco goes into a huddle with Ray and Felicity.

The other would-be rescuers get served coffee. They seems somewhat bewildered.

After an hour or so of awkwardness, Len decides to recruit them to doing his paperwork.

Mick wanders in a little later, only to stop and stare.

"What?" Len asks.

"The boys told me you'd been ambushed by the resistance and that you'd instead recruited them into doing your paperwork," Mick says, starting to grin. "Hadn't realized they were being serious."

"You seriously need to improve medical care globally," Caitlin says, nose buried in a pile of papers.

"Congrats, you're now in charge of that committee."

"What? No. I'm evil now! My name is Killer Frost!"

"Perfect for an evil overlord's chief henchwoman of medicine," Len replies. "Not seeing the issue."

She opens her mouth.

"Or are you suggesting that a position of great power and influence isn't sufficiently evil?"

"I - guess?" she says. "I feel like there's a flaw in that logic..."

"Nah, not at all," Mick says. "You're overthinking it. Have you testing what goes colder, cold gun or ice powers yet?"

"We should do that," Len says.

"Not in here, please," the long-suffering chamberlain says.

Len is convinced he has the meta ability to appear whenever anyone mentions destruction of property.

What? It’s possible. This is Central City...

---------------------------------------------------------

With Cisco's help, they get the collar off in three days.

Barry whoops and hugs him. "Thank you! You're a lifesaver, man!"

"The only thing I'm saving you from is your inability to get laid," Cisco replies, rolling his eyes, but he's grinning broadly. "Better yet, I fixed the brainwashing machine."

"Even better," Barry enthuses. "When..?"

"The Legends should be remembering their original timelines as we speak."

"That means Len will be in a great mood," Barry decides.

"TMI," Cisco immediately says. "So much TMI."

"I didn't say anything!"

"Still TMI!"

Barry sticks out his tongue and goes to run down Len and Mick.

Who do not look happy.

"What's the matter?" Barry asks.

"They don't know how to fix it," Len says. He's glaring.

"We have some ideas..?" the new guy - Nate? - says sheepishly.

"Do you even know where this so-called Spear of Destiny is?" Mick asks, not sounding impressed.

"Uh..."

Mick and Len make identical expressions that signify oncoming headaches and/or homicide.

"But they'll go look for it right now, right?" Barry says hastily. "No need to worry, Len; they'll figure it out. Won't take more than another month or two."

"Right," Sara says, eying the two world leaders-slash-supervillains like one might eye an unexploded bomb. "Sure, we'll get right on it."

"We need to make sure we keep some of the good aspects, after all," Barry says, going to Len and Mick and leading them away from the Legends. The Legends take the hint and scoot away at speed. Barry's sure Len and Mick will be happier to see them once the whole "we're still ruling the world" thing has faded a bit.

Mostly sure. They really hate the paperwork.

(If Barry ushers them out a little faster than he might've otherwise, he is in no way admitting that 'we were considering Sara for a threesome' has anything to do with it.)

"I guess," Mick grumbles. "Global warming."

"World peace," Barry points out.

Len sighs. "Another month or two?"

"I'm sure," Barry lies. "Besides! Good news: the collar is off."

Suddenly, Barry has their full attention.

He's not going to lie, he rather likes it.

"Guess another month or two won't be too bad," Mick rumbles, his voice suddenly lower and a whole lot sexier.

"I think we'll find a way to keep busy," Len purrs in agreement.

Barry gulps.

Oh yeah. This is what he's talking about.

--------------------------------------------------------

(It takes more than two months.)

#dccoldwave #coldflashwave #mick rory #leonard snart #barry allen #my fic

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