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#this isnt even a serious piece either

kanadrawz · 2 months

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"okay so 18 pounds of cokane, 12 pounds of crake and 7 male strippers, but make sure none of them are white, i cant see the coke on them if they are"

#art #digital art #artwork #artists on tumblr #zardy's maze #rattler zardy's maze #brute zardy's maze #not proud of the background #but i dont like doing backgrounds so its whatever LOL #this isnt even a serious piece either #i just had that celestia meme in mind

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iaxsl · 5 months

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zoro and luffy got married a while back and never bothered to tell anyone. nami knows because she was there but hasnt told anyone because theyre both insufferable. usopp found out when he saw them makeout in a closet or something on the merry (he shut the door and ran to nami looking for answers). by the time they reach wano almost everyone on the crew knows that theyre married except sanji who found out after zoro and luffy kissed at the celebration party.

#sanji isnt weird about it but he's definitely questioning why he never noticed before #not like zoro and luffy hide it either theyre Very very obvious #idk i just feel like they had a shotgun wedding or something #nothing serious so like technically are they even married? who knows #but theyre pirates and dont follow the rules anyways so it doesnt matter #dont think too hard about it #i just thought it was funny #one piece #zolu #monkey d luffy #roronoa zoro #luffy #zoro #silly thoughts

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kings-highway · 3 months

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haikyuu ships but its things about their relationships or moments that I think would surprise their friends/teammates

starting off with my boys Daisuga: honestly definitely the rest of the team forgets that they haven't been together forever, and are never expecting when either of them are acting like, well, teenagers in a relationship. Specifically in regards to being shy in front of each other or wanting to impress each other, the rest of the team always is surprised by it because in their mind, like, why are you feeling insecure in this relationship I thought you've been dating for 2 years and Suga is just like "try 3 months BITCH now I need you to find out what his favourite kind of chocolate is I'll pay you real money if he doesnt realize why you're asking."

right along to Kagehina and honestly, literally even just realizing they have a normal relationship. I think everyone absolutely understands how they got together, but I imagine the first time ANYONE sees them out in public together they ALL have a moment thats like "oh shit they like... are actually dating" and every time Kagehina is just like... on a lunch date, or going shopping, walking a dog, just chatting. Like people are surprised that they genuinely spend time together outside of sports. The first time Kageyama goes with Hinata as his date to a family wedding the entire family is flabberghasted bc they definitely thought this was an on-court obsession only

Iwaoi is really simple, literally just people realizing that Iwaizumi has genuine romantic affection towards him is the funniest thing to me. There's a week where Iwaoi is worried bc Iwa had to go to school with a hickey on his neck but literally NOBODY bats an eye or even mentions it because "yeah Oikawa obviously-" but when theyre changing for practice and they see that Oikawa has a hickey on his neck the entire team goes feral and practically tackles Iwaizumi like "you committed to kissing him for that long?????? YOU?????" like they cannot comprehend Iwaizumi actively participating. (obviously this is also the only time they every see Iwazumi embarassed enough to visibly blush which only compounds things.)

Bokuaka's is so stupid but honestly - the first moment the team realizes that Akaashi is, like, attracted to Bokuto and isnt just his best friend that got carried away. Konoha catches Akaashi checking out Bokuto's ass as he's leaving the changing room and it legitimately ruins Konoha's day. What is he supposed to do with this information.

To be completely fair, Ushiten as a concept probably absolutely baffles the entire Shiratorizawa team for multiple reasons. I think though the obvious one is that the rest of the team cannot understand how little Ushijima is bothered by any of Tendou's antics, where Tendou is VRRY touchy and goofy and lots of PDA and affection and Ushijima is completely receptive and unbothered by it, if not going out of his way to intentionally make Tendou laugh to invite him to more. Like Tendou absolutely would sit on his lap during lunch and Reon would be sitting there losing his mind bc last time he sat too close to Ushijima he got a lecture on personal space. Oh, but now suddenly he's super chill and relaxed and nothing bothers him its tendou doing it.

Asanoya's is a little sad tbh but I think, specifically the second and first years, would be surprised by how serious Noya is about the relationship and how little he tolerates jokes about them being opposites/a surprising pair or any of that. Like theyre shocked to find out how seriously he's taking being a boyfriend and really trying to make sure Asahi is happy. The idea that it isnt superficial or just for fun for him is surprising to them.

Arankita - in a comedy of errors Atsumu accidentally finds out they they are ~no longer virgins~ and legitimately has to leave practice for 20 minutes. There's a piece of him, and the rest of the team, that had 100% believed Kita was a robot and they just.... the idea that this was something that happened organically and not for "procreation" doesnt fit in their worldview. Kita smacks the next person who brings it up and that ends the conversation.

#haikyuu ships #daisuga #kagehina #iwaoi #bokuaka #asanoya #ushiten #arankita #haikyuu fandom

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twilightsagasworld · 1 month

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Paul x Reader

Imagine

Requested by @littlemissvenom0

It disgusted you to a deep degree, and Leah had warned you long before you started dating that Paul was a loose guy, never being able to fully commit to something.

It wasn’t that your relationship even felt real. Paul was incredibly distant and avoided doing anything that put you two in the same space for too long. Like he was some royal who couldn’t even entertain the idea of mingling with poverty.

You were again reminded of this when you and Leah hung out today. The weather was cloudy and the remnants of earlier rain was still around, making everything wet. You and Leah were out in the forest near the river border of the tribal grounds.

“I don’t understand why you just don’t break up with him, (y/n). You guys haven’t even acted like a real couple for months”

You sighed while rolling up your vest sleeves, shifting your position on the damp clump of rocks you two were sat on. Distant laughter was in the background, coming from the Black residence.

Leah’s head turned to you, waiting patiently as you puffed your cheeks before letting the air go.

“Yeah, I know, I know… “ you took a pause, tossing a pebble down to the river below you, “I geuss I just hope he’ll come around before I do decide to break it off”

Leah rolls her eyes, “I can’t believe you’re holding on to some slim piece of hope that he’ll maybe turn into some prince charming or whatever, its not”

You frown slightly, “You obviously don't think I should''. Your cousin gives you an exasperated expression, “All I see is him flirting with every girl within a few feet of him, while you stay back all embarrassed all the time, it's getting frustrating and I keep having to listen to him think about it everyday. You have to do something about it”

You look away, biting the inside of your cheek as you listen to her talk. Truth be told you knew your relationship with Paul could only go one of two ways, either you break up with him, or he miraculously turns from his ways and realises how much he actually loves you, if he even does love you.

“You’re right Leah” you stand up, pulling your cousin up with you. “I think it’s time I have a serious talk with him”. You two make your way to the Black residence in a matter of minutes, just as the rain comes pouring down around you.

You and Leah made it just in time to see Paul getting it on with a brunette you absolutely didn’t think you’d see again. “Isnt that Jessica?!” You hear Leah from a few feet behind you. You couldn’t believe it, Paul knew you didn’t like Jessica at all, she was as pretentious and bratty as they come and seeing Paul make put with her under Billy’s porch roof just triggered something in you.

Your breathing got heavy, a heat like you’ve never felt before started spreading though your veins, Leah’s eyes got wide and she called for Sam who came rushing out of the cabin, Quil and Embry on his tail.

“Hey! (Y/n), calm down!”

Sam was standing a bit back. You couldn’t focus on him right now, steam was pouring off your skin and you winced and yelped as you felt your skin and bones move inside you. Leah rushed away from you just in time as you recklessly shifted into a medium sized salt and pepper toned wolf. You stumbled as you threw yourself off balance and landed disgracefully in the muddy grass. No one moved, Paul had already started making his way down when Embry held him back.

You didn’t wait to see or hear what was going on as you stumbled and ran into the forest, Leah’s hollering voice yelling for you to wait and come back.

•••

“ I thought she didn’t have the wolf gene in her?!”

“ I know, im pretty sure everyone here thought so”

The wolf pack, along with Billy Black all crowded Billy’s small living room. The rain was still going hard and you had left the grounds 10 minutes earlier. Sam and Billy were in a heated talk.

Paul threw his hands up,and pushed himself out of the chair, “I’m going after her-“ Leah grabs Paul’s arm, “No way! You think she wants to look at your ugly face right now? You’re the reason she turned !”

Paul got in Leah’s face, but she wasn’t intimidated, “What did you just say?!”

“Enough!”

Sam’s authoritarian voice broke them apart and a silence filled the room, albeit tense. Billy cleared his throat and spoke to Sam, “I think you should be the one to go look for (y/n), she trusts you, and you’re the only one who could handle another accident”

Paul huffed and stormed out, no one bothered to stop him.

•••

“(Y/n)!”

Sam had been searching the woods for hours, but it was futile, he didn’t think she’d have gone so far from the reservation.

Sam shifted into his wolf form as a last attempt to find her.

He stood still in the dark forest. Listening.

Help

His ears twitched to the front.

Paul

Help

Its so cold

Sam didn’t hesitate now as he ran forward towards the mountains. Wherever (y/n) was, she was in trouble.

It wasn’t long before he reached the base of a mountain, rain falling hard around him and mud splattered through his wet fur. He stuck his nose to the ground as he took a deep sniff, letting the aromas and smell of the forest drift through his senses until he latched onto a sweeter scent, perfume. He followed the scent, leading closer and closer to a rushing river where he finally found her.

(Y/n) was back human now, and unfortunately in the nude as far as Sam could tell. But he acted quickly, coming to his senses as he rushed to (y/n), laying half in the river and on the riverbank. As gently as he possibly could while in his wolf form, Sam pulled her completely put of the river. Her body had turned from a tanned olive to pale and sickly. He brushed past the fact that she was bare and pawed at her to wake her up. Moments later her eyes fluttered open slowly, she looked sluggishly up at him and struggled to push herself up as best she could. Sam laid flat to allow (y/n) to slide herself onto his back.

•••

Leah rushed out of Billy’s house as soon as she heard Sam’s thoughts. The rest of the pack behind her.

They all gathered outside as Sam came jogging through the treeline, still in wolf form. A pale body hung onto him and he came to a still infront of the group. Paul ran forward and scooped (y/n) from Sam’s back, pulling her protectively into his body as he and Leah entered Billy’s place.

Billy motioned for them to take (y/n) into Jacobs old bedroom as he rolled to a linin closet and took out heavy blankets to give to Leah. “Thanks Billy” Leah took the pile and pushed Paul out of the bedroom, he looked offended but didn’t push it and went back into Billy’s living room where only Sam was waiting, now human and dressed in jean shorts.

Billy sighed, “Leave her be for now, go home” Sam nodded and moved to leave, Paul stayed sat, Billy stared pointedly, “You too, Paul”. Paul stayed put, leg twitching, “No way, not until she wakes up, I have to see her open her eyes Billy”. Not wanting to make a scene Billy let Paul be.

•••

(Y/n) didn’t wake up that night, or the next day.

It took a week for her complexion to return.

And when she did wake up, Paul was by her side, tear uncharacteristically streaming down his face as he grabbed her hands and kissed them.

(Y/n) frowned, “Paul?… where am I?”

“You’re at Billy’s place, you were asleep for a week, I thought… “ Pauled rubbed his eyes, “Forget it, how do you feel?” He let go of her hands as she sat up, she popped her back, no longer bare as Leah had gone to fetch clothes for her.

Paul stepped back, guilt covering his face. “Whats that look for Paul?”. (Y/n) sat on the edge of the bed, sluggish and confused.

“Im so so so sorry (y/n)…”

Her eyes went wide. This was a Paul she had never seen before. She kept quiet.

“I screwed up by doing what I did, but it was because I was scared”

“Scared?” She gave him an umimpressed look.

He nodded, “Believe it or not, I thought I could push you away because I was scared of what I was feeling for you, I never expected it to happen with you”

She frowned, standing up slowly and steadily, “What? What didn’t you expect Paul?”

His words froze her in her place.

“I imprinted on you (y/n)”

And apparently that was all it took for her to collapse back on the bed, tears coming to the front.

She struggled to find the words, but Paul seemed to hear what she was thinking.

Paul spent the better half of the night explaining to (y/n) what happened, why it happened and why he did what he did. He got a scorching red hand print on his cheek by the end of it, along with a heavy scolding. But not forgiveness. (Y/n) explained that she couldn’t forgive him right off the bat, although his intentions were understandable, he did wrong by her and to her by what he did with all those women, especially Jessica.

She needed time.

And Paul gave her that, without a word against it.

•••

It took (y/n) 3 months to fully forgive Paul.

Another 4 months to agree on dating.

And all the while Paul was respectful of (y/n)’s wishes and compromises.

Leah gave him an earful telepathically and verbally almost every chance she got.

But by the end of the year, they were happier than they were before. Although their relationship was far from perfect, and they argued still, they were happy. Paul no longer went out of his way to apite her and make her jealous and (y/n) put her foot down alot more.

Leah held a grudge against Paul a bit longer but eventually gave in.

Sam and the pack helped (y/n) integrate into the wolf pack and train her.

For now, all was well.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••

Thank you dear reader.

And thank you to littlemissvenom0 for requesting this.

#twilight #twilight saga #twilight x reader #jasper hale #twilight carlisle #edward cullen #twilight-x-reader #alistair+twilight #carlisle-cullen-x-reader #alice cullen #paul lahote x reader #paul lahote #wolf pack #leah clearwater #Spotify

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lnkedmyheart · 7 months

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You can't compare Dazai's "not into hugging men"/ "if you're flirting, I'm not interested" comment to Sherlock's "unfortunately for her, I'm not interested in women".

For starters, the context is different. Dazai is a troll, he has just met this orphan kid that day and he makes a joke about not wanting to touch him and proceeds to drop him. Sherlock on the other hand makes a serious remark about why a con woman who makes people falter by potentially seducing them cannot fool him cause he isnt into women.

Secondly, Dazai not only actively flirts with a lot of women throughout the series (even if it is always to get something out of them), he is also quite flirtatious with men and has a weird thing going on with Chuuya that can be read as somewhat romantic. Sherlock has no such event at any point. The one time he shows genuine affection for a woman it is when he begins to care for Irene as a friend, at no point does he show any attraction or interest in anything but her general well being. After that point however anything between Sherlock and Bond would be read as mlm anyway. The other time he is nice to women its either his landlady or Mary (once she wins his favour). Anytime there needs to be some wooing of women done Sherlock tosses John to the wolves like a piece of meat instead. Sherlock only has heavy romantic subtext with Liam.

Lastly, Dazai's one off remark is not clear on whether he actually meant he has no interest in men romantically, if he has no interest in being generally hugged by dudes, or if he just wasn't interested in Atsushi. Besides Dazai has a weird relationship with touch anyway and is a big fat liar. Sherlock pretty much explicitly says that a gorgeous woman cannot woo him cause he isn't into women.

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hostilemuppet · 2 months

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i only ever saw a playthrough of the first game but i do have a friend who was a kokichi/kaito fan for a long while so i think i can probably construct plausible deaths in harpers fic. not the executions (the anon who wrote those did good though) but the deaths. and also how i think harper would write them instead of what would work best.

Suki: death is very similar to the pop girl who died first in the first game, but instead of floyd having to throw a baseball at the incinerator button he left an eyeshadow smear somewhere that becomes the cincher for the piece.

Viva: since her death is canonically written as just a way to get her out of the picture and thus likely didn't have a lot of thought into it,,,,, Biggie kills her by shoving Mr. Dinkles down her throat while she's unconscious, causing her to suffocate. Harper's breathplay kink strikes again 😞

Cooper: Since Smidge had it in her head that he was gonna kill Poppy i imagine it would have been something brutal, fast, and almost impulsive given the way harper's completely murdered smidge's character for her fic. and since he's the ultimate baker it probably happened in the kitchen,,,, thinking either shoved into the oven or stabbed with a knife. or both. his second line in the entire fic is him greeting smidge seconds before she kills him

Trollex: the real trick is how the hell harper managed to have one twin do the killing without the other noticing. UNLESS the innocent twin Does Know and is struggling to keep quiet all throughout the investigation and trial. either way the death i feel harper would write for him probably involved,,,, well idk how creative harper is, maybe she could have written him having his gills slashed up and then drowning in his own blood, or maybe he got garroted with a ribbon the twins were gonna use in a dress they were making

Branch: given what harper's like i feel like a) his title of "Ultimate Survivalist" plays ZERO role in the fic/he doesn't get to show off a single skill in favor of more prose of the breek foe-yay and b) bc creek killed him and bc harper was writing toxic breek wherein creek explicitly killed branch so they could be "together forever" AND bc she's a fujoshi with a breathplay thing,,,, i think that harper wrote it as creek strangling branch with his hair but she went into heavy detail on creek's body pressing into branch's from behind, arms wrapped around him and then went into excruciating detail of branch's final seconds from branch's perspective. and then bc creek wanted to get caught he made sure to leave his comb in branch's hair. yes i know i just gave a lot of details but i imagine the fic as harper wrote it was even worse. like "very clearly meant to arouse" worse 😟

the main reason biggie took so much offense to the fic that he did a "serious stream" on it is because, in his words, "i would NEVER endanger Mr. Dinkles like that!"

THESE ARE ALL GOOD... one thing though, i did actually think about what the evil twin's murder method would be:

the other twin is asleep (or maybe knocked out, maybe with sleeping pills) and the blackened drags her body out of their room after hours. it was dumb luck that trollex was also out of his room (maybe also planning a murder, but idk). the blackened uses her and her twins hair to strangle trollex, so there is no weapon left. the perfect crime... except they figure it out pretty soon into the trial, and the rest is spent determining which twin is the one guilty of murder

i thought of this before they said that there was a common theme of suffocation, so its fun how that works out isnt it

#ask #tdau

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anonymouspumpking · 5 months

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Completing your dream

¡Long Trafalgar Law fic!

Chapter 1

Summary: You are a girl looking to fulfill her dream, which is to become the best doctor the world has ever seen, but to achieve this she has become an apprentice to one of the most renowned pirates of the worst generation.

Chapter 2

Y/N I woke up with the sun's rays hitting my face. I got up, washed my face and looked at the clothes Bepo had left in my room the night before. The clothes were ugly; The uniform was a white jumpsuit with the crew's Jolly Roger.

After thinking about it for a few minutes, I decided to make a some adjustments: I cutted here and there to turn the uniform into a matching two-piece suit (cargo pants and a short-sleeved crop top). I putted on my boots and made my haur into a high ponytail to finally catch up with the crew at breakfast.

I was happily eating alongside Ikkaku, Saichi, and Penguin when I noticed Law looking at me with a serious face.

"What's that?!" Law said walking quickly towards me.

I looked at him confused. “My uniform, is there something wrong?”

“Why did you cut up the uniform y/n?”

“Because the uniform was ugly and boring.”

“Ugly and boring?” Law narrowed his eyes. He didn't share the same opinion as me about my uniform. “Is that how you see it?”

"Yeah". I nodded with a challenging look.

“The uniform is designed to be functional y/n, not for you to look like you are in a fashion show, do you think such a short top is practical?” Law said angry.

“I really don't see the problem, it's still functional and even more, comfortable. This allows me to move more naturally.” I looked at him defiantly.

“I'm glad that you are confortable in it, that's why it won't be any problem for you to wash all the dishes for today's and tomorrow's meals. It won't cost you anything to clean the bathrooms for 2 weeks either.” Law looked me in the eyes and gave me a small, satisfied smile.

“Tsk.” I turned around and continued eating with my new crewmates.

“By the way, y/n, when you finish washing the dishes I need you to come into my study, I will explain the inventory and the instruments on board to you.”

When Law was far enough away, Saichi spoke.

“I know that sometimes he seems very harsh, but once you get to know him well, you will discover that he has a kind side, don't worry.”

“Yes… I think he hates me,” I responded while using the fork to play with my food.

After waiting for everyone to finish their breakfast, I washed the dishes, and headed towards the captain study.

I knocked on the door.

“Bepo, I told you not to bother me, I'm busy,” he said from the other side of the door.

I opened the door and stuck my face out. “It's me cap, you asked me to come.”

Law nodded and I went into his study. Once inside I noticed that Law looked at me for a second and then opened his mouth.

“Are you going to call me like that now?

"How?"

"Cap?"

“Ah, what's wrong with that?”

Law sighed and looked back at his work. "Nothing"

“This is the submarine inventory. All our weapons and food supplies are numbered. It is necessary to take inventory from time to time to make sure anything isnt lost.” Law explained to me as if he were talking to a child.”

“These are the medicinal plants that I carry with me, every time we pass through an island, I try to get those that are needed, or look for those that are missing on the boat,” he continued talking with his mocking tone.

“Now, this is a marigold, could you tell me what the marigold is for?

"This is enough!" I said annoyed. “Could you tell me why you are talking to me as if I were a little girl?” I argued with the same tone that he was talking to me before. “I'm not a little girl, and for your information, I've been studying medicine for a few years now.”

“If you cut your uniform for no other reason than the fact that you didn't like it, you are actually acting like a little girl.” Law says bluntly, his tone of voice flat and a little amused.

“You're a dick, you know that?” I replied irritated.

“And you have bad manners, little brat.” Law looked at me for a second and then spoke. “I'm your captain now y/n, be careful how you talk to me, I really dont need another member in my crew."

I swallowed my pride and apologized to Law.

Despite the argument we had, Law continued to show me the plants he had on board and the medical tools available. He also showed me where everything was kept and the proper procedure for storing it.

"Well, that's all for now, I need you to study well the functions of the plants that I showed you. Tomorrow I will ask you questions about it." I nodded slightly.

“You can leave, and don't forget to pick up and wash the dishes on the table at dinner.”

LAW

After dismissing y/n from my study, I sat down to continue working on what I had left behind. I hated to admit it, but I felt a little guilty about the way I spoke to her in the dining room.

There was something about her that just made me lose control. The uniform wasn't that bad, and the “fixes” she had made weren't that drastic, she had simply cut the uniform in 2 and trimmed the top a little. It suited her well, highlighted her silhouette and making her look more comfortable with herself.

After working for a while, I heard someone knocking on my door. I raised my face a little irritated and let whoever was interrupting me, enter my study. When I saw a ball of white fur entering through the door, I realized it was Bepo and relaxed my facial expressions a little.

“What's wrong Bepo? Is there something bad?”

“Sorry to interrupt you captain, but don't you think you're being too harsh on y/n?” Bepo said timidly.

I raised an eyebrow in confusion and stared at the mink. “I don't think so, Bepo, she just arrived and she thinks she can surpass my authority. I am the captain of this ship and she has to learn to respect me even if she doesn't like it,” he said coldly.

“I understand that you want that she shows you somes respect, captain, but be careful with your words, sometimes they can be very cold and direct.” Bepo was already hiding behind a chair.

I sighed and returned to his work. “It's okay Bepo, I'll try to be more patient with y/n and not to be so strict with her.”

Bepo stood up, proud of his heroic actions, and walked towards the door when I stopped him.

“Just don't forget to talk to her and warn her not to go too far with me,” Law added.

“Yes, captain,” Bepo said happily while making a greeting gesture to the captain.

Y/N

Two weeks passed and I had to continue doing the punishments that the captain had imposed on me, however, he had seemed a little calmer and more patient with me. After the big scolding I received from Law, Bepo spoke to me and warned me about the captain's attitude.

As for my days within the crew, in addition to work on the ship, I had to continue with my studies and take lessons from Law every day. Now the lessons were bearable: Law didn't talk to me like I was a brat and I didn't want to gouge his eyes out every 5 minutes, we were even starting to get along well.

At dinner time I went to the dining room because Law asked us to be in there to talk to us about something important. When I walked in, I noticed Shachi, Penguin, and Bepo sitting at a table, so I decided to sit with them.

“I'm going out on a mission in two days, Shachi, Bepo and Penguin will go with me. “I want you to take good care of the Polar Tang and keep it clean and running.” Law shouted.

Whispers were heard from the crew.

"Silence!" “It will only be for two weeks, I will leave Jean Bart in charge.” “Y/n, I left you a list of material you need to know for my return.” “That's it, you can leave.”

“Where are you going with Law?” I asked the dynamic duo.

“To tell the truth, we're not sure either,” Penguin replied. “We just know that Law needs us for a mission,” Shachi said proudly.

I laughed for a while at the comments and jokes those two were saying when I noticed the captain behind us.

“Y/n come with me to my study, I need to talk to you.”

I nodded and followed him.

“I'm sorry I can't dedicate this whole month to you, some things came up and I'll have to be gone for a while.”

“Don't worry captain, I'll be sure to study the topics you left me written down.”

Law made a small smirk.

#one piece #trafalgar law #trafalgar one piece #trafalgardwaterlaw #trafalgar d law x reader #trafalgar law x you

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pesterloglog · 5 months

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Dave Strider, Rose Lalonde, Kanaya Maryam, Karkat Vantas

Act 6, page 4696-4721

DAVE: hey

ROSE: Sup.

DAVE: anyone seen terezi around

ROSE: No.

ROSE: Why?

DAVE: we were gonna do a thing

DAVE: but shes not around and not answering my messages

DAVE: on any one of the probably ten thousand computers lying around that they would show up on

ROSE: A thing?

DAVE: yes a thing

ROSE: I see.

DAVE: shut up

DAVE: what about you have you seen her

KANAYA: No

KANAYA: Have You Seen Gamzee

DAVE: are you serious

DAVE: of course not

DAVE: i havent seen that guy at all since the first day we got here

DAVE: not once

KANAYA: Yeah

KANAYA: I Know

DAVE: talk about an elusive juggalo

DAVE: probably like the shyest fuckin juggalo of all time

DAVE: im pretty sure only karkats seen him

DAVE: dont expect him to rat him out either because of the "morail" junk

DAVE: moirail?

DAVE: mwah rail...

DAVE: alien words

KANAYA: I Wouldnt Expect Him To

KANAYA: I Wouldnt Even Ask It Would Be Really Bad Form To Ask Him That

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: i mean i bet you think youre imparting some really obscure cultural fact about trolls

DAVE: but really if a human said to another human

DAVE: "hey man can you tell me where your best clown friend is hiding so i can go chainsaw him to death"

DAVE: just fyi that would probably be bad form too

KANAYA: Okay

DAVE: i dunno its been a year already i think hes really intent on hiding

DAVE: and hanging on to those dead bodies

DAVE: hes probably scared to death of you at this point anyway

DAVE: maybe you should just let it go

KANAYA: Hmm

DAVE: rose back me up

ROSE: I try to stay out of troll interpersonal politics.

DAVE: interpersonal

DAVE: wait

DAVE: are you saying this is like

DAVE: a spade quadrant thing

DAVE: is she trying to be his kismet fish

ROSE: I'm saying no such thing!

DAVE: well if she hates him isnt that what that means

ROSE: Dave, don't be a dick. You're embarrassing her.

DAVE: haha no im not shes cool

DAVE: look shes being cool about it

KANAYA: Im Being Cool About It

DAVE: see????

KANAYA: Its Not Like That

KANAYA: I Just Want To Find Him

KANAYA: And

KANAYA: At Least Wound Him Somewhat

DAVE: yeah see i knew there had to be a perfectly harmless and unerotic explanation

ROSE: (shh!)

KANAYA: No

KANAYA: See Im Explaining This Badly

KANAYA: All Im Saying Is Basically

KANAYA: Just

KANAYA: Fuck That Guy

DAVE: got it

DAVE: so what are you up to in here

DAVE: whats with all these books

ROSE: Research.

ROSE: We're trying to put all the pieces of the puzzle together.

ROSE: You are aware this meteor has many secret rooms scattered throughout, including libraries, right?

DAVE: hell yeah

DAVE: we looted one of them for the can town project

ROSE: Can Town?

DAVE: i told you about can town didnt i

ROSE: No??

DAVE: well

DAVE: the thing about can town

DAVE: and all there really is to say about can town is

DAVE: its awesome

DAVE: the end???

ROSE: Wow.

ROSE: What a story.

DAVE: fu

DAVE: so

DAVE: what is the point of this research

ROSE: Primarily to gain a more thorough understanding of the situation we'll be entering when we arrive.

DAVE: i thought you pretty much already knew the situation

DAVE: since you can see the future

ROSE: Oh my God.

ROSE: I've told you. I can't see the future!

DAVE: yes you can

DAVE: you totally can

ROSE: Ok. But not all of it. Only certain relevant pieces.

ROSE: It's a bit frustrating when people make that presumption about you.

ROSE: For instance, you are a Knight of Time. Since you have such mastery over time, doesn't that mean you should know everything about the future too?

DAVE: no thats totally dumb

DAVE: i could know things about the future if i time traveled and found out first hand

DAVE: nobodys mistaking that about me im a time traveler not a fuckin fortune teller its simple as shit

ROSE: Right. So there are significant limitations on what you can know, governed by certain rules.

ROSE: That's how it is for a Seer too.

DAVE: ok whatever

ROSE: But I will say that I have been able to use these abilities to assist with research.

ROSE: I can treat my finite glimpses as an additional source of information.

ROSE: If you combine that with the knowledge we've gathered from these texts, and things we've learned from our various encounters with the deceased, with a bit of inference and deduction, a more detailed picture is coming into focus.

DAVE: nice

ROSE: Do you want to hear about it?

DAVE: uh

DAVE: now?

ROSE: Yes.

ROSE: Why not? It's been a year.

ROSE: It seems like all we've done on this trip so far is indulge in lavish interior decoration projects and screw around with mysterious "Can Town" initiatives, which may or may not be consuming valuable library resources as building materials.

ROSE: We could make at least some effort to squeeze in annual briefings on our objective.

DAVE: yeah that would be pretty legit of us

ROSE: I think you'll find that when it comes to striving for a reasonable approximation of legitimacy, we are simply the most barely adequate there is.

DAVE: ok i didnt really catch any of that bullshit cause i wasnt listening

DAVE: im gonna make myself a cup of coffee and get primed to listen to you saying a lot of stuff like that

DAVE: do you want some

ROSE: Um. Sure.

DAVE: kanaya?

KANAYA: No Thank You

DAVE: ok

DAVE: ...

DAVE: this fuckin thing

DAVE: where did you even unearth this piece of shit from

DAVE: oh ok there it goes

DAVE: two hot revitalizing cups of shitty coffee

DAVE: fresh out of the weird pod

DAVE: why do we even drink this shit

DAVE: i guess just cause this thing is here

DAVE: like somehow the temptation is even stronger because the coffee sucks?

DAVE: dunno how the fuck that works

DAVE: wish there was such a thing as apple juice on troll world

DAVE: could go for a bottle of aj

DAVE: i wonder if theres any booze squirreled away on this meteor

DAVE: kinda feels like we should be drinking our asses off here

DAVE: no adults nothing to do

DAVE: thats what you do without adults right

DAVE: get wasted all the time?

DAVE: wait what the fuck am i saying trolls dont even have adults

DAVE: well they do

DAVE: but theyre all in outer space being insane badasses

DAVE: i guess they do have the stupid nanny monsters

DAVE: do the monsters give a shit if they get wasted

ROSE: Are you talking to us?

DAVE: what

ROSE: We can't even hear you mumbling over there.

DAVE: oh

ROSE: How's that coffee coming?

DAVE: off the shit is how

DAVE: all being like

DAVE: in cups and everything

ROSE: Be sure it makes it to the table before it accumulates that strange unctuous film on the surface.

DAVE: so whats with the big book youre writing in

DAVE: is that more wizard fan fiction

ROSE: No, it's something like an extensive journal.

ROSE: I'm recording everything we've been through so far, and detailed notes on everything we know about the game.

ROSE: I'm also using it to document our research, and extrapolate on the new session and players.

DAVE: so its like

DAVE: your nigh unreadable gamefaq

DAVE: in tome form

ROSE: Somewhat.

DAVE: you sure like to write big game guides

ROSE: I don't look at it that way.

ROSE: I'm approaching it from a standpoint of responsible historical documentation.

ROSE: Don't you think people in the future will want to know about our story?

DAVE: i guess

ROSE: I think it could be a very useful resource some day.

ROSE: It could be helpful to others beginning their own quests.

DAVE: ehh

DAVE: chances of that seem pretty remote

KANAYA: I Really Wouldnt Rule It Out

DAVE: ok totally sold on that suddenly

DAVE: on account of not caring

DAVE: so tell me about the new session

DAVE: what is there to know

DAVE: and most importantly

DAVE: how is everything going to go wrong this time

ROSE: From what I understand, everything already has gone wrong before the game even started, in many different ways than ours did.

ROSE: There are indications of thicker political intrigue. Assassination attempts. And a usurpation of the throne more insidious than what we dealt with.

ROSE: But those examples still don't illustrate the fundamental fault with their session.

ROSE: Ours had a similar fault. It was a null session.

ROSE: Literature on the subject says null sessions are actually very common.

ROSE: It is any session resulting in failure, and as such, designed to result in failure from the start, due to Skaia's comprehensive "knowledge" of its own fate, and that of all it illumines.

ROSE: Biologically speaking, it's to be expected that null sessions far outnumber the successful ones. When it comes to reproductive systems, overwhelming redundancy is commonplace.

ROSE: A universe has a reproductive system that spreads many seeds, as it were, most of which never come to fruition. So we shouldn't feel too bad about our results, really. It was quite par for the course.

ROSE: But then, it would also seem that exceedingly few null sessions result in the birth of a massive green star fueled by two dead universes. For what it's worth.

DAVE: ok but i thought the whole point of this

DAVE: the scratch thing

DAVE: is it gave us a chance to still win

DAVE: but youre saying the new session has a fault too?

ROSE: Well, yes. There's more to it though.

ROSE: The new session is essentially our session, rebooted with different parameters which also affected the original conditions of our universe.

ROSE: And strangely, it seems the new one is a null session as well, but within a much less common subset of all null sessions.

ROSE: This one is referred to as a void session.

DAVE: ok

DAVE: which is what

ROSE: It's very simply a session in which nothing is prototyped before entry, at all.

ROSE: Hence, by Skaia's preemptive all-knowing and its influence on the rest of the incipisphere, there are not even any towers on Prospit or Derse built to receive the split kernels.

ROSE: See?

DAVE: weird

DAVE: why would these alt universe players fuck up in such an obvious and stupid way

ROSE: I don't know what specifically led to the failure to prototype anything.

ROSE: But it doesn't really matter. As I said, the session was designed this way before they began playing. Any efforts to prototype may have been in vain regardless. Possibly subject to sabotage.

DAVE: didnt you say at some point that not prototyping anything would be really bad

ROSE: Yes.

ROSE: It's just another way to create an infertile session. Though by a less catastrophic and bloody route we took to achieve the same result.

ROSE: By contrast, it leads to a rather harmless, uneventful session. Underlings remain unaugmented, and so does the royalty.

ROSE: And while this may sound advantageous to the players, it's a curse in disguise. The lack of prototypings which keeps adversaries unevolved has the same influence on the battlefield.

ROSE: Without successive prototypings, the battlefield will never reach its final form, which must be fertilized to grow a new universe.

ROSE: Instead, it remains in its most basic form, stuck in eternal stalemate.

ROSE: There is nothing players in a void session can do to change this. They are resigned to live out the rest of their days in a dead end session.

DAVE: still waiting to hear how this is in any way an improvement on all the shit we just escaped from

ROSE: It's a vast improvement.

ROSE: The new session is a blank slate, without a ridiculously short time limit for victory like ours had.

ROSE: There will be no time limit at all, in fact.

ROSE: Once we arrive, ostensibly that is when the nature of the session will change.

ROSE: It won't be classifiable as either a null or void session anymore. It will be something which, as far as I can tell, is unique.

ROSE: The fully matured battlefield from our session can be used to make the new one viable. The path to success will be made possible by a combination of efforts and assets from both iterations.

ROSE: Usually scratched sessions are absolute resets, and involve no direct influence from the first attempt at all. I can't find any precedent for our situation.

DAVE: jade has our battlefield right

ROSE: Yes.

DAVE: so she shows up and drops it in skaia

DAVE: and then we take the result of all that damn frog breeding we did and stick the thing in there somehow

DAVE: and we sit back and wait for it to do its huge ribbit or whatever

DAVE: and were golden

ROSE: Pretty much.

ROSE: As long as there is an actual vacancy in the center of Skaia when we get there.

DAVE: is that going to be a problem

ROSE: I don't think so.

ROSE: Even if it were, it would be a trivial obstacle.

ROSE: But as it is, I think the forces opposing these players are clandestinely working toward the same goal as we are.

ROSE: From what I can tell, gestures of antagonism, while certainly posing legitimate danger, have been factored in as critical stepping stones to one destination shared by all parties.

ROSE: I don't know why this is, or what the motives are yet.

ROSE: The appearance is one of clear sailing ahead, but traces of conspiracy are everywhere.

DAVE: ok but

DAVE: conspiracies aside

DAVE: did it ever really look like clear sailing to you

DAVE: thats not what i was seeing

DAVE: we are going to arrive and then soon after jack is going to show up

DAVE: and then we have to beat him right

DAVE: so there kind of is a time limit

ROSE: Yes, we will have to deal with Jack before all is said and done.

ROSE: And that will definitely be a major challenge.

ROSE: But it is not impossible. At least, not by design.

ROSE: When I said there would be no time limit in this session, I was talking about something more specific.

ROSE: There will be no reckoning.

DAVE: oh

DAVE: why not

ROSE: It's a logical consequence of any void session.

ROSE: The battlefield never evolves, and therefore the more extensive war between Prospit and Derse never takes shape.

ROSE: It is only when the Prospitian king falls in battle that the reckoning can be initiated by the forces of Derse.

ROSE: The meteors then rush to destroy the battlefield, while Skaia redirects them through defense portals for as long as it can.

ROSE: Thus, if there is no war, there is no reckoning, no meteors, and no imminent threat of failure.

ROSE: This is of course good news for Earth as well. During the reckoning, Skaia redirects all incoming meteors to the only place it can. Earth.

ROSE: So it turns out that players who initiate a void session are not actually condemning their home planet to an apocalyptic wasteland after they leave.

ROSE: In the new instance of our universe, Earth is just fine.

ROSE: Sort of.

DAVE: so

DAVE: no meteors came at all

DAVE: you mean by fucking up and having to scratch we also sort of saved earth in the process

ROSE: Again: sort of.

ROSE: And it's not that there were no meteors whatsoever.

ROSE: Just the vast majority of the destructive onslaught never showed up.

ROSE: But delivering the temple to the site of the forge is still integral to jumpstarting the session.

ROSE: That meteor however could have been propelled through a portal by any means, not just via the reckoning.

DAVE: i see

DAVE: what about the players themselves

DAVE: they had to arrive on meteors too didnt they

DAVE: i guess the baby meteors were some exceptions too right

ROSE: Yes.

ROSE: But they weren't flung through portals in their own session, nor will they be created there.

ROSE: They were created in our session, and sent back through our portals. Just like us.

DAVE: ................

ROSE: To understand what happened, it really helps to understand exactly what a scratch is.

ROSE: When John severely damaged the Beat Mesa on your planet, and sent it off to Skaia to release its temporal energy there, you could view it as a kind of "request."

ROSE: We were asking Skaia to change everything at a fundamental level, and we gave it the energy to do so.

ROSE: But Skaia is a very passive entity. It only "knows" and "sees," but it never quite "acts."

ROSE: When it is asked to change everything, there is only so much it has control over.

ROSE: In fact, it has control over exactly one thing. The defense portals.

ROSE: It can decide to send important meteors to different points in time than originally planned, thus creating alternate realities.

ROSE: Offshoots of promise, rather than futility.

ROSE: And it turns out the most important meteors of all tend to be the ones delivering the young players to their planet.

ROSE: So all it has to do to change everything is tweak their destination times a bit.

ROSE: All internally-prompted changes in the post-scratch universe are decided entirely by this modest adjustment to the parameters.

ROSE: It's a very simple concept, actually.

ROSE: Yet the consequences are dramatic. It results in not only a hard reset for the session, but a partial reset for the universe too, due to the many causal entanglements between a session and its originating universe.

DAVE: what do you mean tweak the destination times

DAVE: where did they get sent to

ROSE: A variety of different time periods.

ROSE: The simplest way to way to look at it is to picture the original destinations of our two groups of four ecto-babies...

ROSE: And switch them.

DAVE: what

ROSE: Though this is just a slight oversimplification.

ROSE: While it's roughly true, Skaia had some peculiar whims this time.

ROSE: While most landed in time periods corresponding with the original group,

ROSE: It seems that two of the new players arrived four centuries ahead of everyone else.

ROSE: For some bizarre reason.

DAVE: uh

ROSE: But they're still apparently able to communicate with their coplayers through I guess some Trollian-like technology, and they're still able to establish game connections with the others. So this stands as an odd but not otherwise terribly significant detail.

DAVE: so

DAVE: uh

DAVE: in this alt universe group of us and

DAVE: them

DAVE: which ones are the actual players

ROSE: I'll give you a hint.

ROSE: It isn't us.

DAVE: fuck

DAVE: why did i know that was gonna be the answer

ROSE: And to think that usually I'm the one accused of knowing the future.

DAVE: i dunno if im ready to process the ramifications of this bullshit

ROSE: You would find it less disconcerting if the players were alternate versions of us?

DAVE: man

DAVE: at least im used to dealing with alt daves

DAVE: ive been fuck deep in alt daves before

DAVE: its a goddamn delight if you want to know the truth

DAVE: but i dont even know what to think about...

ROSE: What?

ROSE: Meeting a deceased figure of authority as a peer?

DAVE: lets not even talk about it ok

DAVE: can we slow down this meteor

DAVE: delay the meetup

DAVE: maybe fight jack for a little while

ROSE: I honestly thought you would find the idea exciting.

ROSE: I know I'm looking forward to it.

DAVE: but your mom was just a nice alcoholic spinster who liked wizards who you complained about for no reason

DAVE: she wasnt anything like an untouchable master of irony who could replace the meat in your sandwich before it even occurred to you what the fuck you were chewing

DAVE: let me ask you this did your mom ever wiggle a puppet in your face even ONCE

ROSE: Not that I recall.

ROSE: But anecdotes like that just make me more curious to meet him, personally.

DAVE: fine well you can be on bro duty then

DAVE: ill be the ambassador to your mom

DAVE: and no that wasnt actually meant as the sick burn it sounded like

ROSE: She's your mom too, though.

DAVE: yeah i know

DAVE: ill be the ambassador to my mom then

DAVE: that sounds pretty stupid when i say it that way

DAVE: whatever

DAVE: ill be the fuckin one man welcome wagon for the john and jade teen old people and also our mom thats the plan

DAVE: so when we finally see them we can get our shit into formation like trained acrobats

DAVE: like ill blow a whistle and we make a human pyramid got it

DAVE: that way we can totally avoid anything awkward

ROSE: You do realize we've seen her already, right?

DAVE: what

DAVE: when

ROSE: Months ago.

ROSE: In a dream.

ROSE: She was floating along in Derse pajamas, asleep.

DAVE: wait that was her

ROSE: Yes.

DAVE: oh

DAVE: huh

DAVE: .....

ROSE: You're wondering why I didn't tell you?

DAVE: no

ROSE: You're specifically wondering why I wasn't forthcoming with an answer to your question at the time, "hey who was that choice babe in the pajamas?"

DAVE: god fucking dammit

ROSE: You don't find it nostalgic at all?

ROSE: Retracing the steps of some of our Freudian semi-blunders in conversations past?

DAVE: no what a load of shit

DAVE: stuff said between you and me before we knew we were related

DAVE: we both know that was a lot of horseplay bullfuckery between like smartass 10 year olds or whatever

DAVE: you cant seriously have taken any of that seriously

ROSE: ;)

DAVE: ugh dont ever do that

DAVE: all these fuckin

DAVE: momtraps and sistertraps

DAVE: what a joke i hope skaia gets to have a good laugh over shit like this

DAVE: wait i forgot skaia doesnt laugh it just "sees" and "knows"

DAVE: its like a huge blue perv thats mad jazzed for kidcest

KANAYA: What Are You People Even Talking About

ROSE: ;)

DAVE: dont you wink at her

DAVE: kanaya heres a protip that wink meant jack dick shes just being weird

KANAYA: I Feel As Though This Conversation Has Utterly Outmaneuvered My Constructive Involvement

KANAYA: Im Going To Go

DAVE: yeah im pretty much ollying outie too

DAVE: got some shit to attend to

DAVE: after you

KANAYA: Augh

KANAYA: Why Does That Always Happen

KARKAT: EVERYBODY OUT OF THE GODDAMN WAY.

KARKAT: I GOT A LAB FULL OF HUMANS, A MOUTH FULL OF YELLING, AND A TORTURED PSYCHOLOGICAL PROFILE FULL OF TOTALLY HYSTERICAL EMOTIONS AND UNAIRED GRIEVANCES AT PRACTICALLY EVERYBODY.

DAVE: karkat is broken guys

KARKAT: YEAH

KARKAT: OK HOLD ON

KARKAT: IF I CAN SETTLE DOWN A TICK I SHOULD BE ABLE TO MAKE MORE SENSE SHORTLY

KARKAT: JUST ONE...

KARKAT: *huff huff*

ROSE: Maybe you should lie down on the couch.

KARKAT: FUCK...

KARKAT: *wheeze*

KARKAT: NO

DAVE: dude what is the matter with you

KARKAT: WOW OK

KARKAT: THAT WAS A PRETTY TERRIBLE ENTRANCE.

KARKAT: ANYWAY

KARKAT: WHERE WAS I.

DAVE: dunno but i was just leaving

KARKAT: NOT SO FAST STRIDER, THIS HEAVILY CONCERNS YOU.

KARKAT: IT CONCERNS YOU EXCLUSIVELY IN FACT.

KARKAT: WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?

DAVE: just stepping out to do a thing

DAVE: which is not your business

KARKAT: LIKE MY INFLAMED QUAKING GALLSPHINCTER IT'S NOT.

KARKAT: TELL ME, ARE YOU BY ANY CHANCE GOING TO HAVE SOME COMPANY WHEN YOU STEP OUT TO DO THIS "THING?"

KARKAT: NOTICE THE TWO HEAVILY DRAMATIZED "ENCLOSURE TALONS" SURROUNDING THAT WORD, WHICH I AM SCORNFULLY PANTOMIMING WITH MY OWN TWO HANDS, AS PRESENTLY BEING DEMONSTRATED FOR YOU.

DAVE: yeah sure

KARKAT: OH??

KARKAT: WHO WOULD THAT BE MAY I ASK?

DAVE: well

DAVE: probably the mayor

DAVE: hes usually down for whatever

KARKAT: I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THE FUCKING MAYOR, AND YOU FUCKING KNOW IT.

DAVE: hey dont be saying shit about the mayor

DAVE: the mayor rules hes like my best fucking friend

KARKAT: HE'S NOT A MAYOR. HE'S THE MAYOR OF FUCKSTICK JUNCTION LOCATED SMACK DAB IN THE MIDDLE OF PRETEND ASS NOWHERE.

DAVE: hes a mayor you douche his thing says mayor

KARKAT: IT SAYS "MAYO" AND HE WROTE THE "R" HIMSELF.

KARKAT: HE'S AT BEST A MAYO. AND WHO EVER HEARD OF A MAYO? IT'S EVERY BIT AS IMAGINARY AS HIS IDENTITY AS AN ELECTED OFFICIAL.

DAVE: no mayo is like grub sauce but without grubs

KARKAT: WHO THE FUCK EVER HEARD OF GRUB SAUCE WITHOUT GRUBS??? WHAT'S IT MADE OF THEN GENIUS!

DAVE: like

DAVE: uh

DAVE: i dunno its white and it just sort of exists

DAVE: you dont ask about mayo thats not what you do with mayo

KARKAT: ISN'T IT FUNNY HOW QUICKLY YOUR BULLSHIT UNRAVELS WHEN SOMEONE INTELLIGENT ACTUALLY HOLDS YOU ACCOUNTABLE??

KARKAT: YOU ARE FUCKING BUSTED STRIDER.

KARKAT: YOU ARE BUSTED ABOUT "MAYO" AND YOU ARE BUSTED ABOUT TEREZI.

DAVE: hahaha you are pathetic

DAVE: this is why you all stormed in here out of breath

DAVE: what did you actually sprint all the way across the meteor to tell me this

KARKAT: WHAT I DO WITH MY LEGS AND HOW FAST I MOVE THEM IS MY BUSINESS YOU SHIT.

DAVE: yeah and what i do with mine is mine

DAVE: watch me make them make me leave

KARKAT: I SAID STAY YOUR ASS PUT, WE'RE TALKING HERE.

DAVE: dude dont touch my cape

DAVE: ...

DAVE: huh

KARKAT: WHAT

DAVE: i cant believe i seriously just said dude dont touch my cape to somebody and was serious about it

KARKAT: OK, LOOK I'M NOWHERE NEAR YOUR PRECIOUS STUPID CAPE. JUST LISTEN.

KARKAT: BEFORE YOU GO OFF TO SNOG TEREZI IN YOUR IDIOTIC LITTLE VILLAGE OF NUTRITION CYLINDERS, HEAR ME OUT.

DAVE: man

DAVE: you are so overblowing this

KARKAT: BUT I DON'T THINK THAT I AM!

DAVE: yeah you are

DAVE: you have some idea about us or what were getting up to

DAVE: so weve done a few things together to pass the time so what

DAVE: i dont even think you could call them dates or anything

DAVE: what the fuck would even qualify as a date on this gross dark meteor

KARKAT: DAVE, CAN WE JUST CUT THE SHIT?

KARKAT: I AM NOT AN IMBECILE. YOU ARE BOTH PLAINLY TIPPING INTO FLUSHED TERRITORY IRRESPECTIVE OF ENVIRONMENTAL FACTORS OR WHATEVER LAME CONDITIONS IT IS HUMANS BELIEVE TO BE OPTIMAL FOR PURSUING A MATESPRITSHIP.

KARKAT: ANYONE CAN SEE THAT, IT'S THE SHITTIEST KEPT SECRET ON THIS METEOR. PROBABLY EVEN THE FUCKING MAYOR GETS IT, AND LET'S FACE IT, HE'S A LITTLE SLOW.

KARKAT: DO YOU REALLY THINK YOU COULD PULL THE WOOLBEAST MATERIAL OVER THE EYES OF A HARDENED VETERAN OF ROMANTIC STUDIES?

DAVE: we have one of those???

KARKAT: I HAVE SEEN THOUSANDS OF TROLL ROMANCE FILMS, EACH DEALING WITH TOPICS FAR MORE SUBTLE AND COMPLEX THAN YOUR PEDESTRIAN HUMAN MIND COULD EVER GRASP.

KARKAT: AND IN CASE YOU'VE FORGOTTEN, I'VE ALREADY WATCHED HUNDREDS OF YOUR MORE PRIMITIVE BUT MODERATELY ENTERTAINING ROMANCE FILMS.

KARKAT: REMEMBER HOW I DOWNLOADED A FUCK TON OF THEM AFTER DISCOVERING YOUR SPECIES? I AM A CURIOUS MAN, DAVE, YOU COULD LEARN FROM ME.

DAVE: yeah i remember

DAVE: havent you only watched a bunch of shitty dane cook movies on infinite loop since we left

KARKAT: YOU'RE SEVERELY EXAGGERATING, BUT YES I HAVE SAMPLED HIS WORK.

DAVE: dude

DAVE: you know youre only pretending to be a huge fan of his bullshit to piss me off

KARKAT: AGAIN LOOK AT HOW SELF ABSORBED YOU'RE BEING!!!

KARKAT: I HAPPEN TO THINK HE HAS A BRILLIANT COMEDIC MIND, FOR A HUMAN.

DAVE: hrnngngnngghhhh

DAVE: it turns out that exact sentence is my one weakness

DAVE: you win bro you got your girl back

KARKAT: OH SHUT UP.

KARKAT: I AM NOT HERE TO DEBATE YOU ON THE FINER POINTS OF CINEMA, OR TO "GET MY GIRL BACK."

KARKAT: HOW DESPERATE DO YOU THINK I AM?

KARKAT: I'M ACTUALLY HERE TO DO THE OPPOSITE.

KARKAT: I WANTED TO TELL YOU I'M TOTALLY OK WITH IT.

DAVE: oh

DAVE: ok then

KARKAT: BUT JUST LISTEN, AND TRY TO KEEP AN OPEN MIND. I KNOW THAT'S HARD FOR YOU.

KARKAT: HERE, PLEASE TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.

DAVE: oh no

DAVE: what the hot mess of fresh fuck am i looking at

KARKAT: IT'S AN ALTERNIAN ROMANCE NOVEL.

KARKAT: NOW LOOK, I'M NOT VOUCHING FOR THIS PARTICULAR PIECE OF LITERATURE. IT'S ACTUALLY PRETTY TRASHY AND IF YOU'RE INTERESTED I COULD RECOMMEND MUCH BETTER THINGS TO YOU.

KARKAT: IT'S JUST THIS ONE ILLUSTRATES THE CONCEPT VERY CLEARLY.

DAVE: what...

DAVE: "concept"

KARKAT: IT'S A PRETTY TYPICAL CASE OF QUADRANT VACILLATION AS APPLIED TO AN OVERLAPPING GROUP OF ROMANTIC PAIRINGS.

DAVE: you lost me at quadrant

DAVE: for future reference thats the word that always lets me know its time to check out of a sentence

KARKAT: WILL YOU PIPE DOWN AND JUST HEAR ME OUT.

KARKAT: IT'S REALLY SIMPLE. THINK OF IT AS BEING SIMILAR TO ONE OF YOUR PRIMITIVE HUMAN LOVE TRIANGLES.

KARKAT: THOUGH THIS IS A QUADRANGLE. THOSE ARE MUCH MORE COMMON IN OUR SOCIETY AND ENTERTAINMENT, AND FOUR IS PRETTY MUCH THE MINIMUM VALUE FOR LOVE-HATE N-DRANGLES.

DAVE: n drangles

DAVE: god dammit

KARKAT: NOW HERE IS WHAT'S ACTUALLY GOING ON WITH THIS GROUP OF CHARACTERS. PAY ATTENTION. HEY, LOOK AT ME. EYES OVER HERE. GOOD.

KARKAT: SEE THE TWO HEROES IN THE MIDDLE, PARTAKING IN THEIR FLUSHED EMBRACE? PRETTY MUCH YOUR TYPICAL LOWBLOOD REDROM PAIRING. THEIR DYNAMIC IS THE GRUBLOAF AND TUBER PASTE OF THE OVERALL ARC.

DAVE: .........

KARKAT: BUT WHAT HAVE WE HERE? THERE ARE SOME NEFARIOUS HIGHBLOODS IN THE PICTURE TOO. THIS IS WHERE IT GETS INTERESTING.

KARKAT: THE GUY ON THE LEFT IS AN OLD CALIGINOUS FLAME FROM THE MALE LOWBLOOD'S PAST, AND HAS REENTERED THE PICTURE. AGAIN, NOTHING OUT OF THE ORDINARY. HE CAN CONTINUE TO COURT HIS MATESPRIT AND KISMESIS WITHOUT CONFLICT. IT'S A PERFECTLY AMICABLE ARRANGEMENT THAT EVERYONE'S TOTALLY DOWN WITH.

DAVE: what is that huge beefcake troll even doing

DAVE: is he grinding against the little dudes shoulder what is even going on

DAVE: why the fuck is he nude

KARKAT: NO QUESTIONS YET.

KARKAT: SO THEN THAT'S ALL FINE, PRETTY BOILERPLATE CONDITIONS FOR UNFOLDING ROMDRAMA, BUT THERE'S A TWIST.

KARKAT: THE MALE HIGHBLOOD AND LOWBLOOD START TO HAVE FLUSHED FEELINGS FOR ONE ANOTHER, AND THIS RESULTS IN SOME RED INFIDELITY BETWEEN THE LOWBLOOD PAIR.

KARKAT: OBVIOUSLY THIS IS WHERE THE FIREWORKS START GOING OFF. THE RED FEELINGS BETWEEN THE LOWBLOODS TURN TO BLACK, AND THUS BEGINS WHAT IS REFERRED TO AS QUADRANT VACILLATION.

KARKAT: MEANWHILE THE TWO MALES ARE ALSO VACILLATING BETWEEN RED AND BLACK, BECAUSE YOU DON'T JUST LET GO OF A RIVALRY SO EASILY.

DAVE: what is going on with the other chick

DAVE: all grabbing at the other one down there in the corner

KARKAT: YEAH, WELL, IT GETS EVEN MORE COMPLICATED THAN THAT, PROBABLY MORE THAN NEEDED FOR THE SAKE OF MAKING THE POINT.

KARKAT: IN THE HEAT OF THEIR VACILLATION, DURING AN ESPECIALLY BLACK PHASE, THE LOWBLOOD FEMALE WAXES RED FOR A NOTORIOUS AND ESPECIALLY BRUTAL HIGHBLOOD FEMALE.

KARKAT: SO THEY HAVE THEIR THING ON THE SIDE, BUT EVEN THAT STARTS VACILLATING TOO BECAUSE THE ORIGINAL PAIR JUST KEEP SPINNING LIKE A TOP.

KARKAT: WE DON'T NEED TO GET BOGGED DOWN IN THE QUADRANGLE DYNAMIC THOUGH, AND FOR OUR PURPOSES THE 4TH PARTY IS A DISTRACTION.

DAVE: our purposes

DAVE: what the fuck are our purposes

KARKAT: THE THING IS, VACILLATION ALWAYS ADDS A LOT OF DRAMA TO EVERYTHING, BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN IT CAN'T BE VIABLE.

KARKAT: IT CAN TOTALLY WORK, AND EVERYONE CAN BE REASONABLE ABOUT IT, IT REALLY JUST COMES DOWN TO A MATTER OF SENSIBLE SCHEDULING.

DAVE: you must be out of your fucking mind if you think i want to know where youre going with this

KARKAT: DAVE, PLEASE.

KARKAT: JUST READ THE BOOK, OK? IT'S ALL IN THE BOOK.

DAVE: im not reading that shit

DAVE: i cant even read your stupid troll language why would you think i can

KARKAT: I THINK YOU SHOULD RECONSIDER. I CAN TRANSLATE FOR YOU. I'LL READ THE WHOLE DAMN THING ALOUD IF YOU WANT.

KARKAT: SERIOUSLY, IT COULD REALLY EXPAND YOUR LIMITED HUMAN THINK PAN ON STUFF.

KARKAT: THERE'S A LOT HERE THAT'S APPLICABLE TO OUR SITUATION.

DAVE: there is nothing even slightly applicable about any of that bullshit to our situation

KARKAT: DON'T BE DENSE. OF COURSE THERE IS.

KARKAT: TEREZI AND I HAVE BEEN ON THE VERGE OF VACILLATING LIKE THIS FOR A LONG TIME.

KARKAT: IT'S ABOUT TIME WE KILLED THE SUSPENSE AND JUST ACKNOWLEDGED IT.

KARKAT: YOU AND SHE SEEM BENT ON DEVELOPING SOMETHING IN THE FLUSHED QUADRANT, AND LIKE I SAID, I'M FINE WITH THAT.

KARKAT: IF WE CAN JUST GET OUR SHIT STRAIGHTENED OUT, WE CAN BE LIKE THESE VACILLATING PAIRS THAT ALTERNATE BETWEEN RED AND BLACK, BUT IN A WAY THAT'S COMPLEMENTARY WITH EACH OTHER'S PATTERNS.

DAVE: oh my god

DAVE: why is this happening

KARKAT: LIKE WHILE SHE AND I ARE BLACK, YOU AND SHE ARE RED.

KARKAT: BUT THEN WHEN SHE AND I ARE RED, YOU AND SHE... I DON'T KNOW IF HUMANS ARE REALLY CAPABLE OF BLACK FEELINGS?

KARKAT: I GUESS THAT'S UP TO YOU. MAYBE YOU CAN JUST LIKE, SIT THOSE PERIODS OUT.

KARKAT: LIKE TAKE A BREAK, YOU KNOW?

DAVE: youve completely lost it dude

DAVE: i cant believe for a fucking second this is reasonable shit to propose even on troll world

DAVE: you just

DAVE: totally snapped

KARKAT: SNAPPED LIKE A FUCKING FOX. THIS MAKES PERFECT SENSE.

KARKAT: LIKE I SAID, IT'S JUST A MATTER OF RESPONSIBLE SCHEDULING.

KARKAT: HERE LET ME SHOW YOU.

KARKAT: I NEED SOME PAPER. WHERE'S SOME PAPER.

DAVE: hnnrrghh

KARKAT: LOOK, IT'S PERFECTLY SIMPLE.

KARKAT: HANG ON WHILE I DRAW THE GUIDELINES.

DAVE: oh no

DAVE: no you are NOT making another shipping grid dude

KARKAT: IT'S NOT A SHIPPING GRID.

KARKAT: JUST SOME ROWS AND COLUMNS FOR A SCHEDULE.

DAVE: its a grid youre drawing a goddamn grid

DAVE: im not letting you draw a grid for this stupid shit

KARKAT: COME ON, LOOK HERE. THESE ARE THE DAYS OF THE WEEK.

KARKAT: THEN WE EACH HAVE ROWS FOR THOSE DAYS AND WE CAN DRAW A HEART OR A SPADE FOR ANY GIVEN DAY.

KARKAT: THAT WAY WE KNOW WHAT'S UP IN ADVANCE, AND AVOID UNPLEASANT CONFLICTS.

DAVE: put the fucking pen down

KARKAT: HEY, CUT IT OUT. DON'T TOUCH ME.

DAVE: do not draw a shipping grid

DAVE: do not do it

KARKAT: IT'S NOT A SHIPPING GRID YOU OBTUSE FUCK.

DAVE: this is fucked up put it down

KARKAT: NO.

DAVE: you are not drawing a grid to organize our goddamn dating lives

DAVE: that is some straight up crackpot motherfuckin noise i will not abide

KARKAT: FUCK YOU. LET ME DRAW.

DAVE: stop drawing the shipping grid

KARKAT: *IT IS NOT A SHIPPING GRID*

KARKAT: THIS IS NOT SHIPPING YOU HEINOUS TOOL, THIS IS COMMON SENSE.

DAVE: you will not draw anything that even remotely resembles a grid

DAVE: do not draw an arrangement of squares or otherwise interlocking polygons

KARKAT: LET GO.

DAVE: you will not draw a spreadsheet for the purpose of allocating time spent with a mutual girlfriend you horses ass

DAVE: that is exactly the shit i do not want to see

KARKAT: LOOK, I JUST DREW A SQUARE.

KARKAT: GET READY TO SEE A LOT MORE OF THOSE!

DAVE: no

DAVE: stop

DAVE: do not draw any additional squares

DAVE: do not draw any quadrilaterals or trapezoids or rectangles or fucking n-drangles and especially as fuck not any god damned rhombuses

DAVE: i dont want to see your lines making any right angles do you understand

KARKAT: IN MY MIND'S EYE I AM PICTURING A BEAUTIFUL LATTICE OF LINES AND COMPARTMENTS, INTERLOCKING WITH SUBLIME PRECISION AT NINETY DEGREE ANGLES.

KARKAT: I IMAGINE THIS MODULAR RETICULATION AS AN ELEGANT VESSEL, IF YOU WILL, FOR THE GRAND SYNTHESIS OF OUR SHARED SHIPPING DREAMS.

DAVE: no

DAVE: that is the perfect example of what you shouldnt be drawing

KARKAT: YES

DAVE: no

KARKAT: FUCK YES

KARKAT: OOH LOOK, ANOTHER SQUARE, SORT OF.

KARKAT: KIND OF WOBBLY! IT'LL HAVE TO DO.

DAVE: no you fuck

KARKAT: WAIT, I THINK IT'S COMING.

KARKAT: HERE IT COMES, MY FIRST "SHIP", IT'S GOING IN THE SQUARE!

DAVE: put the goddamn pen down

DAVE: you piece of shit

KARKAT: HELL NO.

DAVE: yes

KARKAT: WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM??

KARKAT: OW, FUCK.

DAVE: this is so sick does she even know youre doing this

KARKAT: DOING WHAT??

DAVE: splitting up her time in a grid for your stupid rotating hate date plan

KARKAT: SHE WILL SOON ENOUGH.

DAVE: what a presumptuous sack of shit put the pen down

KARKAT: NO, I'M DRAWING.

DAVE: step away from your dumb ugly scribble grid

KARKAT: GET LOST.

DAVE: youre messing up roses book

KARKAT: YOU SMELL BAD.

DAVE: dont talk to me about rank smells

DAVE: you are the fuckin big man of smellin bad

DAVE: you dominate the paint with your stonk

KARKAT: MY LUSUS BROUGHT THINGS HOME THAT SMELLED MORE APPEALING THAN YOU.

KARKAT: IMPORTANT FACT: 100% OF WHAT HE BROUGHT HOME WAS EITHER A DEAD ANIMAL, OR LITERAL FECES.

DAVE: oh yeah well check it out:

DAVE: you smell like if someone took a dump on a butt

KARKAT: HOW CAN SHE STAND YOU WITH HER SENSITIVE NOSE?

KARKAT: HAVE YOU EVER EVEN WASHED THAT RIDICULOUS OUTFIT?

DAVE: theyre magic fucking pajamas they stay like perma clean or something

DAVE: theyre enchanted and comfy as fuck give me the pen

KARKAT: NO, IT'S MINE NOW. I'M KEEPING IT ON PRINCIPLE.

DAVE: karkat whoa man what are you doing

DAVE: why are you drawing all these human dicks

DAVE: how do you even know what they look like what have you been watching??

KARKAT: I'M NOT DRAWING THOSE!!!!!!!

KARKAT: YOU'RE MAKING ME DRAW THEM, STOP THAT.

DAVE: no way

DAVE: this book is now like

DAVE: our fight fueled ouija board of cock

KARKAT: ARGH... STOP!

KARKAT: DON'T

KARKAT: NO FUCK

KARKAT: OK NO

KARKAT: YOU DREW THAT ONE

KARKAT: YOU DREW THAT ONE!!!!

KARKAT: DON'T PRETEND YOU DIDN'T!

DAVE: are you sure man

DAVE: thats the spooky thing about penis ouija you can never be sure who did the dicks

DAVE: was it you or me or maybe a ghoooost???

KARKAT: FUUUUUUUCK LET GO OF ME!

DAVE: gimme the pen

KARKAT: NO

DAVE: yes

KARKAT: NO

DAVE: yes

KARKAT: FINE TAKE IT!

DAVE: no

KARKAT: WHAT??

DAVE: were still drawing

KARKAT: LET GO

DAVE: are you kidding this is a fucking masterpiece we have to see this through

KARKAT: I'M TRYING TO LET GO OF THE STUPID PEN BUT YOU WON'T LET ME

DAVE: we are in the shit now

DAVE: we are motherfuckin entrenched in this bitch

KARKAT: YOU CRAZY FUCK

DAVE: were running out of room rose can you turn the page for us

KARKAT: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!

KARKAT: THIS ALTERCATION IS BECOMING UNCOMFORTABLY PHYSICAL, GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME.

DAVE: what are you talking about

KARKAT: YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

DAVE: shut up and draw another penis

KARKAT: YOU DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND THE SOCIAL IMPLICATIONS OF ALL THIS HOSTILE TOUCHING AND GRABBING DO YOU???

KARKAT: I DON'T FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT YOU STRIDER, JUST STEP OFF.

DAVE: man if you want to look at this that way then thats your business

DAVE: this is just an old fashioned beatdown where im from deal with it

KARKAT: WHY DON'T YOU OLD FASHIONED GO FUCK YOURSELF?

DAVE: stop biting my cape

KARKAT: FUFCK NYOUF.

KARKAT: RAAARARRAAUUUAAAAUUAGHGHGGHGGGGHHGH!

DAVE: shit!

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kasonkodd · 1 year

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♥️ HAPPY VALENTINES DAY ♥️

i hope everyone is having a wonderful day and remember that this day isnt just for couples, make sure to love and care for yourself SMOOCHES ALL YALLS HEADS.

LMAO that being said lets go thru and discuss what the batfamily is doing on this sweet little day ^_^

Bruce and Selina spent an incredibly romantic evening together!! Bruce took her out to see a show with a really really yummy dinner after. Then bought her a shiny new piece of jewelry which she will forever cherish. When they finished allll that, he brought her back to the manor for a relaxing bubble bath together… then.. maybe kinda did some nsfw stuff. FUCK!! OLD PEOPLE DOIN THE NASTY!!!

Dick and Kori were a little more tame. They decided to spend their day out at the aquarium!! Kori said she’d never been and showed extreme interest in going. Dick prepaid so that they could spend the entire day there. Kori fucking adored it. ADORED it. every single fish was just beyond beautiful to her, the amount of times she went “that ones my favorite” just made Dick laugh every time, always agreeing that that one was his favorite too. They stayed till closing. Dick brought Kori to a look out point after picking up a pizza so they could watch the city and eat. It was beyond perfect, something Kori will remember forever.

Jason and Roy wanted to stay in so badly but the more Roy sat and thought about it… the more he wanted to do something so Jay planned this little picnic. They decided on this little hiking spot since they both loved to.. hike. they spent most of their morning making their way up to the spot Jason claimed would be perfect to eat at. When they got there they set up their lunch. They had little sandwiches, some fruit and a whole ass bottle of wine!!! sooooo chessy but so so yummy. They giggled and goofed off as they ate, watching the world below them. no one else mattered in this moment besides them. it was cliché but FUCK did Roy treasure this.

Tim and Bernard did something sooo teenagery. They began their day by meeting up for ice cream. mhm. Tim got cookies n cream while Bernard got like something kinda gross like mango… Then, they made their way down to the arcade where Bernie SCHOOOOLLLED Tim in like haaalf the games. which??? to Tim that was fine because he got a buncha little toys outta it so.. After Bernards gloating fest, they went to go get some chicken waaaangs. MM!!! they feasted, finding a bottomless wing place. they ate till their tummies felt like they were gonna bust. THEN, Tim brought Bernard home. They watched ghostbusters and had a cute little sleepover. GODDD THATS ADORABLE. BYE.

Damian and Nika were so shy and awks in the beginning of their date. Damian had asked Nika if maybe she’d be interested in seeing a movie. Nika called him lame but agreed nonetheless. The two went and saw something silly since Damian knew Nika wouldn’t enjoy something more serious. He bought her ticket, snacks anything else she wanted. He just spoiled her.. just like his papa ngl. she loooved it and Damian lowkey did too. They probably grabbed a small bite to eat, not really being toooooo hungry since they filled up on theater snacks, but they ate something anyway!! they walked arooound, looked into some shops theyve never been in and by the time they decided they were done, the sun set. Damian brought her up to a rooftop to they could look at stars and talk. Damian def gushed about this night to Dick and Jon. He loved it.

HEYYY HEYY LOOKIT ME COMIN IN WITH THE NEW SHIPS HUH??? nika and damian are becoming such a favorite rn!! im so excited to continue to learn about them!! and i fought with myself to either do tim n kon or tim and bernie… to keep things canon, i went with timber.. but i may do some hc for timkon in the future. ANYWAY!!! I LOVE U ALL AND HOPE YOU HAVE A FUN V-DAY! SMOOCH SMOOCH

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mistninja · 11 months

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do you like reading fantasy? do you like magical swords, wizards and dragons? do you want to get into anime/manga but dont know how? well im a weeb and a fantasy nerd who has nothing better to do so here are some recs ig

Do you like the Cosmere for the convoluted magical systems and the creative ways the magic is used in fights? Watch Jujutsu Kaisen. First season has 24 episodes, there is one prequel movie (good place to start too) and a second season coming soon. You could also read the manga, but I personally think the anime is easier to follow and overall more enjoyable to me (on the other hand, the manga comes with Extensive notes on how the magic works so you might prefer that). Another good show is Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood (on Netflix, 64 episodes).

Do you like the Cosmere for the interconnected large universe and The Lore(tm)? Get into Fate. You know how Cosmere fans loooove talking about timelines and where to start with the Cosmere? You can do that again with Fate, even more complicated this time! A good place to start would be either Fate/Stay Night: Unlimited Blade Works or Fate/Zero. Both are on Netflix, UBW has 26 episodes and Zero has 25. You could go straight to the source material, the visual novels, but I haven't played them so I can't talk about them.

Do you like Realm of the Elderlings, or historical fantasy? Watch Vinland Saga. The first season has 24 episodes, second one is currently coming out weekly (close to finishing), and it is on Netflix. Haven't read the manga but it seems to have some really good art. Another option would be (I think) Berserk, but since I haven't read/watched that, I can't really say. SIDENOTE but if you like Black Sails you should also check out Vinland Saga im so serious. BS isnt fantasy but i needed to get that out there.

Do you like The Locked Tomb? This one is quite obvious but watch Revolutionary Girl Utena, it inspired the books *a lot*. It has 39 episodes, a movie and a manga, general consensus is that the manga is not very good so just watch the show. Look up trigger warnings. And you might also want to check out Puella Magi Madoka Magica (the original show has just 12 episodes, theres a lot of extra content but I have not seen/read the rest so i would say its not necessary).

Do you like an epic adventure and a giant world filled with amazing places to explore? Completely unironically you SHOULD read or watch One Piece. Fantasy fans already get into gargantuan book series with thousands of pages what is a thousand episodes to you? I assure you it is worth it. Hunter x Hunter is also good, I can't say much about it because I just started it recently.

More general recs under read more.

Little Witch Academia. Cute fluffy show about teenage witches. Some similarities with The Owl House on Disney.

Witch Hat Atelier. Manga only for now, follows a young girl who gets taken in as a witch's apprentice, has some darker elements.

Re: Zero. Guy from our world gets sent to another world and then dies a bunch of times. Psychological horror in a fantasy setting.

Akatsuki no Yona. Princess goes on an adventure to find legendary dragons and save her kingdom. Some romance.

Vanitas no Carte. Vampires in a steampunk setting. Gay (?)

Black Clover. Basically whatever you think Naruto is about, but shorter and more goofy. Boy with no magic wants to the greatest wizard of all time, gets beefy.

Ghibli movies: Kiki's Delivery Service, Ponyo, Princess Mononoke, The Tale of Princess Kaguya, The Castle in the Sky, The Cat Returns, Spirited Away. These movies are more on the magical realism / low fantasy side.

Noragami. Supernatural. Gods and spirits are real and walk among us, the story follows a god who has no followers and a girl who accidentally becomes half-spirit. Some cool fights. Really great music.

Shadows House. Creepy house where shadow people live, along with their "living dolls".

Dungeon Meshi. Manga with upcoming anime, havent read it but seems like a fun adventure with some horror elements (?) but mostly about cooking and monsters.

#welp #i wish i had more interesting recs sadly im basic #take these with a grain of salt i made this out of boredom and a need to distract myself so i didnt spend too much time on this

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kane-the-fed-pinkerton-tulpa · 5 months

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not cancelling or calling for a boycott but in light of evidence actually materializing about tsr's author im not sure im going to continue to run this blog

the things presented and allegations don't fall into 'truly awful/shut the whole thing down right this instant' imo but more and more "serial asshole (from just ass)/weird things about non-gay mlm" territory.

im not posting sources or planning on discussing these things (as again they're not EXTREME), only on what i do next regarding this blog. if you're concerned/interested in what's being said, go to twitter and look up the author's username. there are a handful of threads compiling this stuff.

this isn't a call to action or indictment (see the words allegations and evidence presented) and the author or echo project hasn't responded. there's more context to just screenshots, but even then there's a sufficient amount 'mmhh this is odd' stuff even if it's all explained 'with' a full contextual analysis IMO

im choosing to step back and see where things go/if anything changes or is at least said/acknowledged.

The situation is complicated too because a lot of things posted were either outright fabricated and up to taste/hyperbole, or completely out of the scope (IMO) of whether or not something is "problematic" . there's also shades of grey to the things that have happened that i witnessed personally (so its something im willing to discuss)

ie fat murdoch edit: the image was, very much so, imo a piece of fat fetish art. (this isnt an assignment of moral good/bad. its a statement of subjective fact). an admin of a server (tsrs author) asked OP to move it to a thread dedicated to fat fetish material. IMO, he was kinda rude about it, but the words "kinda rude" are key. OP reacted negatively, but IMO with hyperbole, so the situation got heated.

So while this isn't something truly terrible, to me, and the other allegations and evidence are more serious (but not EXTREME), there's been enough of instances of "hey this is kinda odd/rude" for things to remain comfortable for me.

ill be blunt and ill say that ever since i saw interactions with the author, he's looked like kinda of an asshole. i think he has some interesting things to say and some unique viewpoints on some events/things that have happened and shares those in an interesting way (outside of being an author for this vn i really enjoy) so i just dealt with him being an asshole by rolling my eyes or talking in closed/private instances and going "oh my gawd he's an ass lawl" and moving on with me life. most of the time he's pedantic and kinda whiney in online discourse BUT i say this in his defense because I feel like some of the allegations/evidence are chalked up to how he reacts negatively and not outright demonstrable actions/beliefs

maybe that's a copt out? maybe these patterns mean something or more? i dont know. though, with things shown to me, and things prior, I don't think we have a case of "cancel this man's entire career, body of work, and banish him from the internet and entire furry community immediately and forever!"

i think not wanting to associate with him or his work is understandable. i think stopping and looking and thinking, and waiting for a response is reasonable. I don't think harassment campaigns or like genuine bullying is reasonable (at the point we're at. if it comes out tomorrow he's, idk, fucking killed someone maybe we can do that)

There's some other things i find distasteful about the situation too, but this post is long enough. i'm hoping we can act like adults about where we find ourselves as a fan community though. Including as Echo Project fans, TSR fans, FVN fans, and even as members of the wider Furry Community

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sharkface · 6 months

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I just want all your followers to know Robin and Demetrius are getting a huge revamp because ConcernedApe is a piece of shit and Demetrius deserves better writing than what he was given. Tell me why the geeky scientist is suddenly very protective over his daughter, and the straight up CARPENTER that BUILT HER OWN HOUSE isnt...? Combination of racism and misogyny of course!

LITERALLYYY. I hate concernedape he just keeps putting out shitty characters. I don't think you can even chalk it up to ignorance, pretty much all of the women in stardew are badly written compared to the men and his ONLY characters who aren't white are either comparatively one note or like you said with Demetrius pretty blatantly racist. And stardew fans kind of just eat it up. It's dogshit. And the most mask off moment for the fans is that the male characters you can romance are actually still pretty boring on their own for the most part but you can find a million billion posts about them in the tags whereas if you ask them to have ONE thought about a woman it's "She's the mom friend she takes care of the Boys" or something BE SERIOUS...

#ask

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kledface · 2 months

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Idk i guess i should consider an intro post or something?

Name:

Hi, im kledface, but you can call me kled. No, i have no association with league of legends and have been entirely turned off from playing it due to people asking if my name is because of the character. There is an origin story though!

Content:

I like sharing cute animals, pretty things, memes, and trans shit, cause i am a trans shit, people should be nicer/more normal about trans folks, especially those who are trans-fem and gender nonconforming. I also enjoy sharing art, both my own and others, because art is amazing. Sometimes i will post my weird little rambles here. Sometimes theyre serious, sometimes theyre just pissing in the wind. Life is full of wonder or some schist idk

Identity:

Im trans, genderfaun, my pronouns do change sometimes, but for the most part, he, they, and it are all fine for me. Go ahead and dabble in neos if you want, im not 100% sure what works and what doesnt there. Im also kinda coming to terms with being demi-aroace, or demian. This is a newer label for me, but i think its the right one. Im a pretty proud furry, and also an otherkin; hi, dragon speaking. My fursona is a dragon, but i have plenty of characters; some are even not dragons! I love dragons more than anything. I am mentally ill, with severe depression, social anxiety, schizophrenia, and a very troubled past that has caused splitting, and most likely either ADHD, autistic, or both, but nothing is confirmed yet besides being dyslexic. Currently am 19, though on the kalends of april i will be 20. This makes me nervous. I do not enjoy celebrating my birthday.

Likes and dislikes:

I love dragons, pineapple, rain and snow, fire, lightning, warhammers, birds, cats, the colours orange and blue, food, flowers, shiny rocks, dnd, mtg, drawing, reading, video games, a wide variety of music, the forest, and helping others, especially those im closer to. I hate conspiracy theories, aliens, bell pepper, chartreuse, intense heat, being short, bigots, and being treated like a demon. Some of these things are because of my past, others are just general hates

Personality:

Because of the splitting, sometimes its not just one person talking; there are eleven of us with different personalities. I, as the host, am the person you are most likely to catch though. I like to consider myself fun loving, though protective. Compassionate and easily scared. Some of us are much more grumpy, and cynical, while others are literal children. Please have patience with us, we are trying.

Other socials:

I do have some other platforms. This is the one im on second most often.

Discord: kledface [active]

Instagram: kartoffelzauberer [semi-active]

Twitter: kledface [inactive]

I have a reddit but i dont remember it

Technically i can invest in others but i dont really want to unless i have to, and there are some i havent listed but dont even worry about those, i dont want to be found

DNI:

Listen. Im a generally accepting person. But some people arent welcome here. No homophobes or transphobes, no terfs, no racists, no xenophobes, no ablists, no sexists, no ageists; If you hate someone for a fundamental aspect of their being, get the fuck out. Also, no anti-furs. This isnt the same, cause its more of a fandom thing, but if you hate someone for their fandom, i dont want to hear about it. Leave. Bye felicia. I will likely block you if you are a pro-shipper, because ew. And if you are any kind of pedophile, zoophile, or rapist, i would hunt you down and kill you myself if i could, i don't care how you excuse yourself, youre a disgraceful piece of shit who doesn't deserve to live, literally kill yourself. I hate saying and hearing that, but youre the kind of person who deserves it.

Finale:

I think that's it. Hit me up if you have questions or wanna talk, my askbox and messages are open. Thank you for coming to my KLEDtalk

[Kountenance, Lecturing, Education, Dick]

#dragon #dagin #furry #artists on tumblr #intro post #introductory post #blog intro #introduction #queer #demi aroace #genderfaun #kledface yells #kledface

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spikeinthepunch · 3 months

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ok i was blabbing this on priv twitter but, i saw that sheezy is back which is cool, i did actually like it out of the art gallery sites that had been popping up. i logged back in so i have my profile there tho idk how active i will be

however i keep thinking more about its site management, also in comparison to other websites that have tried the same thing. this isnt a jab at the mods there, but an observation... they have ratings of general, mature, and explicit all with different teirs of whats allowed in terms of things like nudity or gore (and other topics on the mature/explicit teirs). normal thing to see, but the potential issues i start to see are when there are specific visual guides, and specific tags expected for a variety of different visuals that may either be subjective on whether or not they are that thing, or could easily be tagged as something else/something similar but still not be considered properly tagged. plus when you have three different maturity ratings and you say "all of them can have blood and nudity, just different levels of it!" you get that confusion and subjectivity on what may be too much or too little, despite having visual guides.

for example i had a piece i uploaded with (in a large art summary so it wasnt the whole peice) self harm in it, which i tagged "selfharm". however a mod came a added the tag "sensitivetopics" because apparently thats what i needed to tag instead. not anger at the mods here, its great theyre on top of things. but why isnt "selfharm" caught in this system? its incredibly specific, while "sensitivetopics" is not. but thats what the system goes by/expects. even if i had marked it mature and added "selfharm" it still wouldnt be tagged correctly.... and thats an issue. 1) it makes more work for the mods who manually check this 2) its just hard to follow. and if it was more serious of a thing, there could certainly be upset from people if they kind of tagged it right but apparently not right by the mod's rules.

there is always a push for making sure content is tagged better these days so people can curate their experiences. understandably simply having general, mature, and explicit doesnt account for lots of stuff so tags are expected to help out. but getting far to specific on what it expected to only be in those labels is kind of a problem.

but it shouldn't have to be, imo? i think most sites that have loosely defined general, mature, and adult/explicit labels make it work just fine. and enforcing tags for blacklisting can easily lead to more issues. its a great thought to have, to want to make sure things are tagged in a way thats unbiased and simply for users to curate their use of the site. but its never realistic. curating your online space doesnt mean the website should curate it for you by practically promising they will be the one to make sure everything gets tagged all the time no matter what. because its not possible, as much as they may try to get mods to check every drawing. and whether or not the site promised this at all, the failure to achieve it would likely upset users who expected everything to go just that way.

it is tricky, just because of course people could mislabel in a very bad way (explicit marked as general). but those instances of a drawing being under a mature filter but not tagging something specific shouldnt be the focus for every single post on the site, i just see that becoming an issue in the long run-- whether its subjectivity (or the pressure to make more and more tags to get more specific), or just the effort from the mod side.

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lemonhemlock · 1 year

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https://at.tumblr.com/lemonhemlock/no-because-hp-is-so-good-like-the-whole-idea-of/7btiy3hmut65

Omg yes! The whole thing with poor wizard families is so weird cuz like they have magic? Just use some spells and fix shit?? Lmao. Wizarding society doesn't even need any jobs! Spells and potions can do anything for them!! There also the thing that hogwarts isnt the only magical school there are more out there! The universe oh hp is just so vast and there so much that can be done with it!

I actually would love to hear ur thoughts on it! Specially on the rl connection it makes and on Voldemort and his death eaters!

so voldermort is SUCH an awful antagonist and my main gripe with him is that he isn't hot. yes, this is going somewhere.

voldemort's entire thing is that he is terrified of dying so he will do anything in order to avoid that. the horcruxes i thought were actually a really cool idea with a lot of fucky symbolism - breaking your own soul into pieces and stashing them away so as to ensure your immortality? pretty metal. especially since it's implied you have to perform a murder beforehand. neat!

but, at the same time, what exactly is voldemort's quality of life? why does he want to live forever? he starts off as a handsome boy and gets slowly turned into an egghead with no nose! he's played by ralph fiennes and he is not hot, i cannot stress that enough. wizards tend to live very long lives as is, remember that dumbledore died at 150 or so! voldemort dies the second time at 70, after dying the first time at about 50?? come on. so he's fugly as hell, he doesn't want to have fun or fuck bitches or eat good food or live like a king or watch an endless amount of soap operas. he just wants to live a noseless existence?? what a joke. had he not meddled with anything, he could have lived well past dumbledore's age, because he, too, had a few more good years left in him, but he wastes himself away with the horcruxes. and doesn't even use them properly? he is vanquished from his body once by baby harry, but why does it take until book 1 for him to become corporeal again? isn't that a pretty shit immortality system?

his political goals don't make a whole lot of sense either. ok, he wants to rule over muggles bc wizards are so very superior. cool. but how is that feasible? there are a lot more muggles than wizards and they have all kinds of weapons, including fucked up shit like carpet bombing and drones and WMDs. i don't really see how wizards would stand a chance in an all-out war. also, jk really sells him out short. bc she is so very british-centric in her view, she doesn't consider the international implications of this (lol). say britain got conquered by weird-ass people who can perform magic spells. are the european union (hail pre-brexit times) and the US just gonna sit on their arses while this happens? are the rest of the wizards in other countries just gonna stand by? please be serious.

she should have somehow turned this into a world-wide rebellion happening at the same time if she wanted any kind of chance of it working. but that would have been way more dystopian when she really was afraid of veering the books too much into adult fiction. sucks to suck, i suppose. this is why we're in this fandom today.

also. voldemort and his cronies are still very much just a minority within the british wizarding society. how do they not get their arses handed back to them by sheer difference in numbers? everything is on easy mode with these guys, just because they're not afraid to use unforgivable curses.

this needs to be said as well but MARKING your loyal followers who are supposed to stay SUPER SECRET to not risk imprisonment with a very visible snake tattoo is so.... it's a choice, i'll tell you that.

#i was a huge potterhead so the lore will follow me for the rest of my life #non-90s kids will never understand #ask #anon #hp #harry potter

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