#this is so funny for me and i know its not going to be funny to the rest of people but
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HAPPY NOW? ★ [ j.jh ]
your family has been pressuring you for months to bring your boyfriend, jaehyun, over for dinner, and you think it’s really sweet that they like him so much. the only problem is that your “boyfriend” jaehyun, hates you.
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[☆] PAIRING. ex!jaehyun x f!reader
[☆] GENRE. angst, smut, fluff | fake dating?, exes to ??? au
[☆] WC. 19.9k (i don’t even know)
[☆] WARNINGS. angst, reader has anxiety, mentions of anxiety attacks, fighting, reader be lying a lot, reader has a little sister, crying, reader is kind of a dumbass, explicit content (piv smut), unprotected sex (don’t do this gang!), fingering, sex in public kinda, pls lmk if i forgot anything!!
[☆] NOTES. i’m so fucking annoyed with tumblr it’s not letting me insert images properly UGH this took me over 2 hours to upload man 🗣️ im pretty proud of this one ‼️ idek how it got this long but it’s my longest fic yet and it’s been sitting in my drafts for ages until i finally got the inspo to write it :p i want jaehyun so bad it’s not even funny tbh but anyway PLS GIVE ME FEEDBACK/A REBLOG LITERALLY ANYTHING IS APPRECIATED <33
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six months.
you haven't seen this door in six months.
it's funny because, this was a door you used to push open and walk through every other day, yet now you stand on the opposite side of it, unsure as to whether you should even be thinking of knocking.
your hand is raised to the door, shaped like a fist but you make no move to actually knock. you were aware that you still had time to bail out of this, that you could turn on your heel and make your merry way back to your sad little house and go back to pretending you're happy with the choice you made six months ago.
or you could just do what you came all the way here to do.
the weather seems to be in your favour, at least. the sun shines radiantly, making the temperature warm, but not too warm, and a cool breeze travels through the air in short intervals. the summer had begun early, birds chirping in their habitual singsong way and wild bougainvillea already flowering in various shades of pink and lilac. usually when the day starts off with good weather, the rest of it follows suit, and thus your day is made better. hopefully, this is the case for you today.
pausing for a short, morale-boosting intake of air, you tighten your fist and knock, knock, knock on the mahogany door, immediately regretting your decision as you feel your stomach churn and plummet. a good ten seconds pass, and you hear no reply nor movement from the inside of the house, and part of you is relieved because that means he may not be home.
more than happy to do a 180° and skip along joyously back to the metro that would take you home, your feet begin to make for that trip but your mind decides against it. you know that you are being overly dramatic, but even with being aware of this, your heart rate does not slow down one bit. you also know that what you've come here to do is more than just selfish, its pathetic and rather embarrassing. it's also a hugely unsavoury request, and if your roles were reversed, you'd most definitely laugh in his face and shut the door.
finally somewhat making up your mind with a quiet groan, you raise your clenched fist and rap against his front door again in a set of three. you nervously shift your weight from your right to your left foot, then back to your right and then once again to your left, the anxiety and anticipation not allowing you to stand still and relax, thinking that if he doesn't answer this time, you really will just return home.
"hold on, i'm coming!", a hurried, muffled voice calls from inside the house and you don't think your heart has ever beaten this fast in your life. not even during the one time you ran a marathon to prove a point to your friend chenle, and while you did show him that you didn't only run to get away from spiders, your body took its own sweet time to recover from that.
now you hear footsteps approaching the door from the opposite side of it, and you don't think you can handle anymore of this tortuous, build up of a wait because you are quite literally one step away from calling it a day and just sprinting your way out of there, just like you did on the last few metres of the aforementioned marathon, and you know he's nearing the door because the footsteps are getting clearer and clearer, and soon he's going to open the door, take one look at you and just slam the door right in your face, but not before spewing verbal explosives at you, which would be totally deserved since he has every right to just spit on you and tell you how you're a terrible, downright horrible human being completely unworthy of forgiveness and-
"sorry for making you wait so long, i was-"
if your heart rate was at its maximum speed before, now it just stopped.
standing in front of you, in the flesh, was the man who's heart you broke six months ago.
jaehyun had just about opened his door in a way that his body was sticking halfway out of it, but he was now frozen in that position, neither in nor out, just stuck there looking like he was contemplating his next move. he adorned a loose, white shirt that clung to his defined shoulders and chest, paired with a pair of red plaid pants with a patch of some different material stitched just above where his knee was. you'd recognise those pants just about anywhere, having worn them a number of times and being the cause of that strange patch with mismatched material (you'd tried to balance a pot of steaming hot ramen on your knee in order to move something, resulting in it causing a burn in the pant).
his attire tells you that he was either just about to eat breakfast, in the process of eating breakfast, or about to finish breakfast; jaehyun was not an early riser and he liked to take his time getting ready for the day.
apart from his slightly changed hair, jaehyun looks the same as he did before, if not better. his once shorter, straight, brown hair, was now a darker kind of black and longer in a silky, mullet-y, layered sort of way, the mullet part stopping just above where his shirt met his neck and the front bits falling on to his face in thin, soft wisps.
everything about the man was captivating and entrancing, but if you had to pick a specific feature that really takes the cake, it would have to be his eyes. his eyes, deep-set and fierce, always gave the impression that he was cold or unapproachable, whereas in reality, he was the opposite. as striking as they may be, they always carried a certain warmth to them.
while they still held the same intensity to them, the warmth was missing as he looked straight at you now. after the brief moment of confusion when he first opened the door dissipated, the familiarity had sunk in, and his expression now was more or less unreadable, but you still tried to make out what he was thinking and feeling- was it shock? anger? maybe even disgust?
"okay, are you going to just stand there or are you going to say something?"
you think it was largely a combination of the last two. in all your fidgeting and gawking, you'd forgotten to actually speak to the man who's door you'd just knocked on, leaving him standing there wordless and confused, an eyebrow raised as he waited for you to open your mouth.
you try to do so, so many words wanting to tumble out your mouth but an invisible gate seems to block it, so now you're just stood still with your mouth opening and closing soundlessly, looking like an idiot.
c'mon y/n, fucking say something, anything-
"how have you been?", is what you decide to go with to break the silence in the end, an awkward smile plastered on to your face. you realise before the sentence is even fully out of your mouth that that would be a really weird thing to start off with, seeing as you and jaehyun have had absolutely zero contact for six months, and are obviously not on the most wonderful terms.
jaehyun's eyebrows furrow, a look of clear disbelief on his face as he clutches his door handle a little tighter. he looks away with a sarcastic smile, shaking his head before turning back to look you dead in the eye. oh, he's going to slam the door on you, you just know it-
"really? 'how have you been'?", he questions incredulously, licking his bottom lip while an exasperated smile plays at them. funnily enough, his response is somewhat relieving to your pitiful self, because you weren't even expecting to hear a reply to what you said, you figured he'd just walk away. you would've. "we haven't seen each for six months since we broke up and 'how have you been' is the best you've got?"
you wince apologetically and bite your lip, playing with your fingers nervously as he quite literally stares you down, irritation written all over his face.
he waits a couple more beats for you to break the tense silence and speak but you are inwardly (and outwardly) struggling to word your thoughts, so he simply scoffs and backs away to return inside.
"okay wait, i didn't tell my family that we broke up and they keep pressuring me to bring you home for the holidays, so i would really like if you'd pretend you don't hate me and come with me."
you don't even want to open your eyes to witness his reaction to your blurted little confession, so you merely stand, frozen in place with your eyes squeezed shut tightly. a couple seconds pass yet you don't hear a door slam, a good sign, so you take that as an affirmative to open your eyes.
he doesn't say anything, or do anything either really, he just leans against his doorframe with another indecipherable expression. this irks you even though you know you have no right to feel irked, but the fact that you once had the ability to know what he was thinking and now don't bothers you to the core. plus, it leaves you feeling unsure as to whether to continue. he might just start laughing at you manically or angrily tell you to get off his property like some bitter, 60-year-old man, and either of these scenarios would be completely fair of him to do.
the heavy realisation that your request sounded absolutely delusional and conceited dawns upon you, and something about his irksome expression makes you feel like you should keep talking. "you have literally every right to just tell me to fuck off, and i don't even expect an answer, i don't really know why i even came here, oh my god- this is so fucking stupid, i'm so fucking stupid and honestly i don't know why you're still standing here listening to me ramble-"
"i need to get ready then. give me ten minutes."
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the front door you're stood at now holds a very different ambience to the previous one. while jaehyun's was quiet and peaceful, the front door to your parents house reveals that the inside is just bustling with activity. the chorus of kate bush's 'running up that hill' plays faintly from behind the door, so you figured that your dad must have brought out his old record player from the dusty attic.
jaehyun stands beside you, hands shoved into the pockets of his light grey hoodie that you feel he must be boiling in, because you're wearing a black tank top with some loose cargoes that you think you might have drenched with sweat.
the sweat would be from the burning heat, but also from the agitation you're really starting to feel. there are so many different ways this dinner could go. what if jaehyun suddenly tells them the truth? then everyone in the room would hate you, and rightly so. you don't want to have to explain to your parents why you broke up with him; it's a stupid fucking reason, if you can even call it that, and it made you completely miserable. how were you supposed explain to your little sister that you and jaehyun aren't together anymore? you suppose relationships are a totally foreign concept to her young mind, but you were sure that she knew you and jaehyun loved each other very much. and you knew she loved jaehyun very much.
he does not look at you, instead choosing to really focus on the christmas themed welcome mat that your parents put out during the winter of '09 and never bothered to change. how he even agreed to come here with you, you don't know, but to say you're grateful would be an understatement.
"you still have time to back out, you know.", you mumble softly, trying to give him one more chance to escape, but he doesn't even spare you a glance, shaking his head and squinting at the door.
"let's just get this over with."
with a small sigh, your raise your hand to press your parents doorbell, the embarrassingly loud 'ding dong' ringing out from behind the door. "oh, that must be her!", you hear the muffled voice of your father speak from the inside, making a slight smile form on your lips.
within a couple seconds, you hear the sound of the muted metal bolt as your dad struggles to open the door to let you in. a grunt of "this damn door..." makes both you and jaehyun release short giggles, and you peek over at jaehyun to see his lips curl upwards into a smile, a small one but it's still breathtakingly pretty . he clears his throat and it's gone in a flash, but the image doesn't leave your mind, and you're still seeing it when your dad finally manages to open the door. "i really need to start using the new lock", he mutters, shifting his eyes to you with a big grin, leaving against the doorframe with his arms folded. "hello, sweetheart."
you chuckle and throw your arms around him, squeezing him a little as he laughs and pats your back in return. releasing you, he turns to jaehyun with a smile, who promptly sticks his hand out politely. "hello, mr. l/n, long time no see."
your dad ignores his hand, throwing his head back with a gruff laugh. "what's with all the formalities, come here, son.", and with that he gives jaehyun a hug as well, a slightly shorter one albeit, but a hug nonetheless. the word 'son' repeats in your mind like an echo, sounding more and more distorted the longer you focus on it. you can't even begin to think of what was going through jaehyun's mind. this was not your brightest idea.
you notice your mom waiting by the door with her hands behind her back, eyes bright and shiny. "hi, mom.", you beam, and she laughs cheerily, opening her arms for you to run into, which you do. she presses numerous kisses to the crown of your head, making you groan lightheartedly and try to escape her hold, but it only tightens. "oh, how i've missed you."
"i missed you too, mom.", you say but she's already let you go and is making a bee line for jaehyun with her arms open, who falls into the hug so readily and comfortably. "i may have missed you, y/n, but i missed jaehyun ten times more.", she jokes, pinching jaehyun's cheeks affectionately.
jaehyun is turning bright red, but he has a toothy grin on his face, a real one, you can tell. his eyes travel the front room where all of you are stood with a nostalgic smile, having not seen it or your parents in over six months. you watch as they look from the various photo frames hung up on the wall alongside the staircase, to the curtains that they recently changed, finally landing on the record player thay was sitting on the table. "wow, mr. l/n, where did you get this?", jaehyun asks, and you wonder whether he's trying to make conversation or if he's genuinely curious. you think it may be the second one.
while him and your dad engage in small talk about his record player, you turn to your mom to ask of the whereabouts of your little sister, and as if on cue, you hear an excited squeal from the top of the stairs. all four heads turn to see your sister bounding down the stairs hurriedly, paying no mind to your mom's strained shout of "careful!".
"y/n!", she piped, finally reaching the bottom of the stairs and running straight to you, wrapping her arms around your legs. she barely reaches your hip so her hug is really just her face pressed into your thigh with her arms squeezing your legs together, while you pat the top of her head.
somehow managing to pry her off of your legs, you kneel and give her a proper hug in return, now happy that you made the decision to come home for a bit of your holiday. she lets go and reaches into her pocket, pulling out a crumpled piece of paper and jutting her hand out to you, urging you to take it.
you smile and furrow your eyebrows with confusion but you take the paper anyway, opening it as carefully as you could so as to not tear it anywhere. smoothing it out flat on your knee, you're greeted with a drawing; two people stand holding hands under a deep blue sky, a large yellow sun shining in one corner along with some "birds" that are really just little 'v's scribbled in black. they're stood on a beach, at least you think they are because there are two shades of blue on the paper, one of them probably being the blue hue of the ocean.
you assume the two people are you and your sister, since one of them has shorter, shoulder length hair and is miniscule compared to the other person, who's hair length and height are similar to yours.
you hold the picture to your chest and pull your sister in for another heartfelt hug, kissing her temple. "is this us?", you ask her, pointing at the two people in the drawing. she gives you a proud nod in return, taking the picture from your hands and holding it in front of her face. "yup! the big girl is you and the small girl is me! we're gonna go swimming.", she informs you, flashing you the toothiest of smiles. "thank you, it's perfect.", you tell her, ruffling her hair a little as she hands you the drawing back.
she clearly doesn't appreciate that, because she whines and swats your hands away, but soon her eyes focus on something behind you and they enlarge, the second excited squeal of the day emerging from her lips. "jae!", she just about screams, completely abandoning you in favour of running off to jaehyun, who has a wide smile on his face and looks equally as happy as her. he scoops her up in his arms and lifts her in front of his face, doing a little spin as peals of laughter escape her.
he finally puts her down but she holds on to his hand, looking at the male with absolute adoration. "hi, cutie.", he boops her nose affectionately to which she giggles, turning to look at you. "you didn't tell me jaehyun was coming!"
"i wasn't sure if he could make it", you reply to her honestly, looking at jaehyun as you speak because only the two of you know what you really mean by that. he holds your eye contact for perhaps a millisecond longer than he did before, but again, it was gone in a flash. he clears his throat a little and straightens up, rocking back on his heels.
sensing a shift in the air but mistaking it for some form of awkwardness, your mother shoos the rest of your family away in the direction of the kitchen. "they probably want to freshen up together, let's let them do that."
once they're gone, it feels like you can finally release your breath, truly seeing this situation going wrong in so many ways. they don't suspect anything yet, but how much longer until they eventually connect the dots? or what if they don't even need to do that, because jaehyun only agreed so he could embarrass you by telling them the whole story? you don't acknowledge the tense silence until jaehyun speaks up. "can i use the guest bathroom? still the second door on the right, yeah?"
you don't respond immediately because you're processing the fact that he still remembers these minute details. you also realise he's only asking because he doesn't want to share your bathroom with you, and that clears your thoughts up a little. you nod in affirmation and he begins climbing up the stairs, and you wait until you hear he's reached the upstairs landing before you move.
it's so tense. the last time you were in this house with jaehyun, you had taken a short road trip to get there. you say road trip, but it was just a couple hours long, but the playlist you and jaehyun had curated said otherwise. you arrived at the house and everyone was all smiles, your parents just happy to have you home and happy to see him as well. you think that part's just as hard as thinking about the two of you together. the fact that your slightly judgemental parents adored him, your little sister looked at him with stars in her eyes– you had lucked out in every department, and you were always aware of it, the joint guilt you felt from breaking it off and lying to your parents really getting to you now.
you swore that after this was over, you would apologise to jaehyun and finally break the truth to your parents.
finishing off in the bathroom, you step out into the hall, only to bump straight into jaehyun. backing up awkwardly, you both try to get past each but keep going in the same direction, resulting in a bunch of 'sorry–'s and 'wait– just–'s being blurted out by the two of you. finally getting past you, he doesn't look back at you again, just walking down the stairs mumbling something about "they're waiting...".
wincing, you make your way down the stairs as well, arriving at the living room to see your mom standing beside your dad with an excited expression on her face. you approach with caution, noting that your dad has his hands behind his back. "so...", your mother starts, raising her shoulders a little out of anticipation. "since we haven't seen the two of you in a while...we got you some presents! nothing too grand but..."
"mom, it's not even christmas", you whine, ready to argue with them because you feel bad that whatever they got was still overpriced, but your mother shakes her head, urging your dad to reveal the presents. "just take a look first..."
in one hand he holds a small, white box, no bigger than his palm, and your mom picks it up, holding it out to you. the print on the box is small and typewriter-like, the material it's made out of just screaming fancy. you narrow your eyes at your parents but take the box in your hand anyway, pushing it open. inside, it reveals maybe the prettiest necklace you've seen; dainty and silver, the chain is simple but it's the pendant that's the real charm– it's an uncut stone of some kind, a pale, translucent white crystal that's pretty much shapeless but it's wrapped in this thin silver wire that forms little loops and hearts over the stone and it makes it so alluring.
"it's a seaglass necklace", your mom speaks, taking the necklace out of its box for you and inclining her head for you to turn around. you're now facing jaehyun, who looks curiously at the new piece of jewellery with the faintest of smiles on his face. pushing your hair to the side, your mother places the necklace around your neck and clasps it (though it takes her a while, squinting and looking at the necklace hook from every angle because she forgot to wear her reading glasses). she leads you to the mirror by the entrance of the hall so you could get a better look at the necklace hanging on top of your collarbones, reaching up to touch it. "you remember? from that lady who owned the fancy place by the beach last summer?"
you do remember. that was the first trip jaehyun had joined you and your family for, under the suggestion of your little sister. when you brought up the fact that jaehyun was going back home to see his parents a little later than he had anticipated, your sister immediately asked if he would want to come with all of you, who were heading to the beach in a day or two for a little family getaway. and much to your surprise, your parents were very warm to the idea of jaehyun accompanying the lot of you. he must have severely impressed them the first time he met them, bringing a bouquet of flowers for your mother and a hearty bottle of whiskey for your dad– it's like he had won their hearts before he had even stepped inside the house.
of course, he had met them a couple more times again after that, but your parents had never raised any issues about your then boyfriend. your dad had claimed that he wanted jaehyun to come along so he could "keep an eye on him" and "see how he treats you in front of us", but you knew all too well he just wanted someone to talk to about his interest in sound systems. the trip had gone so smoothly, so perfectly and you think that it had planted the seeds of doubt in your mind about your relationship.
the position of the window and sun allowed for the light to bleed on to half of your face, the necklace glinting under the rays as you stood in front of the mirror and surveyed it. the last couple drops of the golden hour sun slipped through the windowpane and painted your skin like it was a canvass and the necklace was the cherry on top. you were radiant, and the look in jaehyun's eyes told you that he knew it too. when your eyes meet in the mirror, it's like he tears his eyes away from you, forcing himself to look at his shoes.
snapping out of your soon-to-be miserable thoughts, you fix a smile on to your face so as to not seem ungrateful, turning to hug your mother. "i love it", and you really do, knowing that you wouldn't be wearing a single other piece of jewellery for the next couple months.
jaehyun stands in the doorway soundlessly, just taking in the scene. he had always told you that he wished his family was as close and tight-knit as yours, but due to his dad always being away on some business trip or another and his mother having her own job to attend to, it resulted in a lot of time spent by himself.
you think that might be way he slotted right in with the rest of you, from the very first meet, because his desire to belong worked very well with your family's lively, chaotic home, which welcomed him right away. this was the main reason why couldn’t bring yourself to tell your family that you had broken up him mercilessly. they wouldn’t blame you of course, but you know everyone would be immensely disappointed when they realised that he hadn’t even done anything wrong in the first place; he was so good to you, and they just wanted to see you happy.
while your mom cooed at how pretty the necklace looked on you, your dad faces jaehyun with a wide grin on his face. "you didn't think we'd forget about you, did you?"
he probably wasn't expecting anything for himself, because you weren't either, so you and jaehyun simultaneously furrow your eyebrows. "oh, mr. l/n, you didn't have to–", he starts but your father is quick to cut him off, waving his hands. "what nonsense. of course we had to get you something, it's no big deal", he tries to appear nonchalant but the smile that creeps on to his face is a telltale sign that it is, in fact, a big deal. "besides, if you're family to y/n, you're family to us."
it's as if someone just stuck a large knife into you, the pang you just felt in your stomach. you can't even begin to think about what must be going through jaehyun's head, because even he can't hide the way his eyes soften at your dad's words. watching your sister spring up from the couch, she runs behind your father and plucks whatever he was holding out of his hands, now revealed to be a medium-sized bag. "i wanna give it to jaehyun!", with that, she's running over to him with the toothiest smile plastered on her cheeks, holding the bag out to jaehyun with stretched arms.
he ruffles her hair just like you did, but she makes absolutely zero complaints as he does it– if anything she's revelling in it. this makes you want to scoff, but you smile instead without thinking about it, taking a couple steps away from the mirror and towards them. "are you gonna open it or should i take it back to the store?", your dad jokes and jaehyun chuckles quietly while you don't even bother forcing a laugh, and he takes the bag from your sister's hands, mumbling a soft 'thank you'.
from where you're standing, you can't see what's inside the bag, but you can see jaehyun's eyes widen when he looks inside and back up at everyone. "me and mrs. l/n, i can't take this."
"of course you can", your mother tuts in response, dismissing him with her hand. "if i recall correctly, you had said something about your airpods not working properly?"
realisation dawns on your face when jaehyun pulls the shiny headphones from the bag, turning them over in his hand. "i think i did mention it, yeah...", he nods, eyes scanning over the clear box he holds. you remember that only one of his airpods would function properly, the other deciding whenever it wanted to do its job. you didn't realise your parents remembered, as well. "but these are so expensive, i can't–"
"do you like them or not?", your dad asks, shrugging his shoulders. jaehyun's quick to nod, "yes, i love them but–"
"then end of story." your father's not hearing anyone out, even going so far as to cover his ears jokingly when jaehyun opens his mouth again. after your sister tugs on his pant leg and urges him to try them out, jaehyun slips them over his ears, whipping his phone to connect them to it. he thought it was too expensive to try fixing his airpods so he resorted to listening with just the one ear in, or using your headphones till you broke up.
by the look on his face, they work just fine, and he couldn't be happier. a wide smile is pressed on his face, a real one that doesn't even drop when he makes eye contact with you. you smile back at him slowly, but he doesn't look away immediately, slowly turning to look at your parents. "i don't know what to say. thank you."
you'd had a couple boyfriends before, not none as close to your family as jaehyun had been. none of your previous relationships had lasted very long and you could never pinpoint the exact reason why, you just knew at some point that you had to break it off. your mother always thought that this was a result of your first ever relationship, the first and last man that ever dumped you. it crushed you at the time, though you were able to power through, but since then, relationships were never your strong suit. change seemed promising when you met jaehyun through a mutual friend, however. he was kind, he was smart and he was genuine, three traits that you didn't typically see in guys you dated, but you didn't see any reason to dwell on your biggest fumble yet.
the rest of time until dinner continues in a steadfast manner with all of you sitting in the living room. the scene looked like something out of a corny movie montage, but the beautiful part of it was that it was reality, all the laughs, the eye-smiles, the stupid jokes and conversations, all of it. your parents had recently returned from a holiday together that they took to celebrate their wedding anniversary, which meant that you two deserved to look through all eight hundred and sixty two of the photos they took. super proud of the new projector he had ordered off amazon, your dad had connected his phone to it and was going through his gallery slideshow-style, with your mom making offhand comments about every other photo.
"that's from when we went on a date to this fancy restaurant, that's from the shoe store your dad wanted to go to...oh! that's when your dad just learnt how to take 0.5x pictures on his new phone!"
your mom speaks animatedly while each photo is being shown, pointing out various different things without any prompting. there were badly taken selfies of your parents that made both you and jaehyun laugh, pictures of the different kinds of food they ate, the said 0.5's of your mother taken from the top of her forehead– your dad was slapping his knee even though your mom wasn't too impressed.
after what seemed like years, they ran out of vacation pictures and moved on to pictures and videos taken during your little sister's talent show. this was especially endearing, because your normally high-energy sister was suddenly all shy and avoidant of eye contact in the presence of jaehyun, particularly displeased with a video of her singing on stage.
jaehyun wipes the pout right off her face however, poking her cheek with a smile. "you sound amazing, s/n", he pipes genuinely, and she's back to smiling again, even offering to sing the song for everyone towards the end. no one has the heart to turn down so innocent a request, so for the next couple minutes you are subjected to a very slightly off-key rendition of some song from the movie 'frozen'. everyone cheers when she is done, jaehyun even throwing in a little "whoo!" for good measure, and your sister performs a small curtsey before seating herself between you and jaehyun's legs.
you're situated on the same couch, but only so that things don't look weird. you invited him here to pose as your boyfriend, and he agreed, so you have to play the part too. that part wasn't as hard as you expected, the acting like a couple, no, it was the avoiding questions that was really getting to you. at some point in the conversation, your dad had congenially asked jaehyun when the next time he'd be coming home was. normally, he would congenially reply with something like "as soon as possible", but this time, he just froze. he appeared to attempt a reply, but was cut short at "uh–", the rest of the sentence never following through.
hoping to repair the awkward moment, you start to construct a fib. "jaehyun's been uh– you know, working at one of those um, nursing homes–", this is too out-of-the-box a reply even for jaehyun who turns to you, trying and failing to the hide incredulous look on his face.
"a nursing home? oh, i didn't know you were training to be a nurse!", your mother is surprised but definitely not disappointed, placing her hand on her chest with a sympathetic look on her face as she looks at jaehyun. he looks as if he's trying to speak to you using only his eyes, widening and squinting them at a rapid pace, tilting his head towards you so your parents don't see his expression. there are clear signs of confusion and you're aware he's questioning your decisions, but that's as far as you get with his eye signals and you let him know by shrugging and wincing, so he closes them while sighing inwardly and turns to face your parents, a fake smile stuck on his lips.
"yes! haha, funny story, this one...", he grits his teeth but furthers your stupid concoction of a story, snapping his fingers while trying to think. "i'm not really training to be a nurse, i just volunteer there sometimes. love being around old people, you know, makes me feel full of life–"
you cut him off before he can make this even worse for the both of you, taking in your mother's furrowed eyebrows and your dad's slightly opened mouth. "yes, well, it's hard for him to catch a break, you know, with all the...", you slap your hand over his knee and give it a little squeeze, turning to him with a grin while he smiles tightly back at you, eyes focusing on the hand on his thigh without changing his expression. "...hard work he does."
jaehyun's eyes don't leave your hand, seeing as this is the first act of skinship in six months, albeit casual. your hand feels so hot that you think you might be burning a hole through the material of jaehyun's jeans, finally ripping your hand off of him.
"of course...", your father trails off in confusion, and no one can seem to make head or tails of the situation. in a moment, your mother pauses before clapping her hands, seemingly already forgotten about the strange situation as she chimes "dinner in five!~". your sister scampers off with claims of helping your mother out in the kitchen (and probably to try and secure a spot close to you and jaehyun), and jaehyun stands up and heads to the cupboard containing all your placemats without out even being asked. you offer to help but he shakes his head, and you opt to go sit back down on one of the arm chairs facing the kitchen area, just observing.
this was one of jaehyun's qualities that made you fall in love with him, but also pissed you off to no end. first of all, didn't he ever get tired of just being so good all the time? second of all, why couldn't his own parents see what everyone else saw in him? and thirdly, why did you choose to ruin your life six months ago? as for the last one, you knew why, but the extent of your stupidity was real apparent to you now.
you look away when he meets your eyes and catches you, your heart beating fast when you see out of the corner of your eye that his gaze lingers for a moment or two. underneath all that hatred, was there still a small part of him that cared about you? after you broke up with him, over call that too, he attempted to call you back two or three times, but you couldn't bring yourself to pick up. out of fear or maybe even shame, you never answered his calls and since then, you'd had no contact.
it was impossible. with a break-up like that and six month's worth of time to sit and think about it, you imagine that one could hold a surprising amount of hatred for someone–especially after a relationship as real as yours. if you switched the roles, you think you wouldn't feel much different.
at your mom's signal, you heave yourself off the couch and to the dining table, seating yourself next to jaehyun (everyone expected you to sit with him, they left the chair empty on purpose). your sister has already claimed the spot opposite jaehyun and was patiently awaiting the vegetables that she knew your mother was going to pile on her plate, a little pout forming on her lips at the sight of broccoli. "you can't make that face every time, like i'm feeding you dog food", your mother scolds her with a smile, giving her a generous helping of veggies. the pout deepens and she folds her arms with a cross look on her face. "you guys don't have to eat the broccoli. why do i?"
she's got a point, you think, but before you can tell her to just eat them, jaehyun speaks. "that's exactly what my little cousin sungchan said...", jaehyun tells her, looking around the table with a dramatic sigh. "and we all know what happened to him..."
little cousin sungchan? as far as you know, there is no little cousin sungchan, and you know a lot about jaehyun's family, so you put your fork down in favour of listening to his story at the same time your sister curiously asks, "what happened?".
"well, like you, sungchan didn't like eating his veggies", starting off the story with a shrug under your mother's listening ears, he talks in a low voice. "he'd always argue with my aunt till one day, he refused to eat them.
your sister is knocking food around her plate while she listened to jaehyun, and she's not impressed with the story so far. "see! why can't i do that?", she asks indignantly, and your mother shoots jaehyun a look to which he winced and continues. "nothing happened for a while, so sungchan thought he had proved his point. but he hadn't heard of the veggie monster."
the story is heading in such a stupid direction that you almost laugh out loud, but you catch yourself when you notice your sister's expression, guarded and wary. "...the veggie monster? ...that's not real...", she speaks like she's not fully sure of her words herself, pausing her attack on her food.
"sungchan thought that too", jaehyun agrees, lowering his voice like one would when telling a scary story, looking around him like it could be listening before continuing, for the story's sake. "but he didn't know that without veggies, a child's body is weak. their bones don't grow strong, they stay small and their minds aren't sharp at all. that's how the veggie monster chooses his targets."
you hold back a snort at your sister's wide-eyed expression and how serious jaehyun looks, he's even got your dad attempting to look nonchalant as he followed the story. "the less veggies a kid eats, the weaker they get, and that's easy pickings for the veggie monster. he comes late at night, and there's no point in hiding because he knows. he can smell when a kid doesn't have enough vitamins and it makes him hungry."
with your sister, your parents and even you hanging on to every word, jaehyun lowers his voice to almost a whisper, and all of you lean in closer to listen. "legend has it that he looks so scary that you lose the ability to move or speak, so he just takes you. sungchan was never seen again. the police said he was missing but i knew what happened to him."
you have to admit, jaehyun can tell a story. the atmosphere felt more eerie as he concluded the story cryptically, but your sister looks positively gutted. "did he take him?", she questions, face white and voice small. he nods slowly, like he didn't want to be talking about this, and all you can think about is how this man deserved an award after the show he put on. "i had my suspicions. no one believed me, but i'm ninety-nine percent sure that at dinner, i saw a pair of dark, red eyes staring straight into the kitchen from the window."
as if nature was a paid fucking actor, a slight crash sounds from outside the window on cue, like if a cat knocked over a plastic bin, but you're pretty sure your sister shit her pants. you've never seen her shovel vegetables into her mouth at that kind of record speed before, even your parents are looking at her astounded. with her food in her mouth, she pleads with glazed eyes, "please– i'm sorry, i'll have my veggies, don't let him take me!"
it takes all of you a little while to convince your sister that she'd be completely fine if she ate all the veggies given to her and that the veggie monster wouldn't even think of her, but it's safe to say that she'd never leave a bit of stray carrot on her plate ever again. your mom comically mouths 'thank you' to jaehyun which makes you laugh, and you turn to smile at him, and he gives you a nod in return. small steps, you think, because a nod is a whole lot better than a glare.
the rest of the dinner continues as if nothing changed. sure, you and jaehyun knew things were different, but it didn't fully feel like it at the moment. your mom had prepared a lot of nice food for the occasion, and your dad even helped, particularly proud of the way his stir fry turned out. jaehyun made sure to compliment both your parents on their cooking, and they all but melted– he still knew exactly how to talk to them. conversation was easy; you talked about work, you talked about how university was going, you talked about the school play your sister was going to take part in, about jaehyun's parents, nothing was forced.
you'd fall into comfortable silences at times in favour of sitting back and observing, listening, just being a part of the moment. for someone who was so reluctant to be here, jaehyun seems comfortable, the familiarity of the situation helping ease the tension between the two of you. expecting some bumps along the way, you were rather pleased with how things were turning out, but you were also anticipating the end of the lovely evening– where you and jaehyun would eventually go your separate ways. you don't want to think about it just yet, not when everything was going so smoothly, and your opportunity to snap out of your thoughts is presented to you, just not in the way you would have liked.
your mother's question seems to have thrown jaehyun for a loop as well, because his eyebrows are furrowed and he looks blatantly confused. at some point during a lull in the conversation, your mother had politely asked jaehyun how his christmas in japan had gone; the only problem with this question was that he never had a christmas in japan, not to his knowledge anyway. this, was yet another lie you had told your parents, when they had asked why jaehyun hadn't accompanied you home to celebrate christmas, like he had originally planned to. unbeknownst to them, you had already broken up with him prior to the christmas holidays, so jaehyun wasn't exactly going to come along anyway. so, you told them that he had to spend christmas with an aunt in japan, for familial reasons.
you didn't exactly have time to prep jaehyun and give him a run down of every single lie he had to play along with, so he turns to you with a look of uncertainty and desperation in his eyes. "my, uh- christmas? in japan?", he puts emphasis on the two keywords, not blinking when he speaks directly to you in hopes that you would take the hint and help him out.
"yeah, your christmas. in japan. with your aunt", you reply to him with the same tone and expression as he does, trying your best to sound subtle so your parents don't catch on.
"yes, with your aunt! we were so sad to hear that you couldn't make it for christmas", your mother is unknowingly helping jaehyun catch up with the fake story, and he releases a short "ahh" during his moment of 'recollection'. "right, my real aunt who definitely lives in japan."
he grits his teeth when he talks, making you grimace and the fact that your parents look completely puzzled doesn't help. you need to save your dignity anyway, so you try to cut jaehyun off before he can make things worse. "haha, jaehyun of course she's your real aunt, silly", you awkwardly chuckle, feigning nonchalance when you bump his shoulder with your fist, wishing you could telepathically communicate with him right now, but you'd probably only be saying "please, please, please" on repeat.
he sighs but speaks up again, much to your relief. "it was slightly boring, my aunt doesn't do much", he laughs softly, fully back in character. "but you know, it's still nice to spend time with your family."
if your parents are suspicious, they don't say anything, seemingly satisfied with jaehyun's answer. dinner continues with few hitches until jaehyun insists that he washes the dishes. "it's the least i can do, after you both made such delicious food."
your mother at least tries to argue with him for a bit, but your dad is quite happy to not have to wash dishes, patting jaehyun on the back before standing up. what surprises you however, is jaehyun turning to you with the sweetest, most fake smile you've seen in a minute plastered on his face. "you mind helping, y/n?"
smiling tightly, you nod and begin clearing the table. this is done in silence, neither of you even looking at each other as you pick up dishes and carry them to the kitchen. your sister has run off to the living room to watch some t.v with your dad, and it feels like you're finally allowed to breathe when your mother exits the room as you’re picking up the last dirty dish. walking into the kitchen, jaehyun's back is facing you while he washes dishes, the environment and the little tune he's humming making everything seem so domestic in your eyes. this is how dinner used to always go when he came over, with you and him washing the dishes together in the end, taking breaks to splash each other with the soapy water or making out secretly by the counter.
but the air is foreign now, none of the former warmth or softness remaining. he turns to you with a frown when you place the final dish on the side of the sink, and he really doesn't look too happy. "visiting an aunt in japan? really?", he scoffs, looking incredulous while you look sheepish, avoiding his eye contact entirely.
you were expecting something like this but you hated being put on the spot. "i don't know, okay, what else was i supposed to say?", the exasperation in your voice is evident but it only fuels jaehyun, and rightfully so.
"i got an idea, how about 'oh, he can't come because i dumped his ass over call for no reason, sorry'?", he digs snidely, voice laden with scorn. there it is. "or is that too close to the truth for you?"
he doesn’t even let you open your mouth, chucking the cloth he was using to dry the dishes on the counter somewhere, folding his arms while he looks at you in a hostile way. “you wanna know how i really spent my christmas, y/n?”, he sneers sardonically, a sarcastic smile etched on to his lips. “alone in my house. miserable. i wish i had an aunt in fucking japan that i could’ve spent it with.”
you hate to admit it, but his words sting and you are well aware that you deserve it. just asking him to join you for this dinner was a huge reach, a request you really didn't expect him to accept. you don't fully understand why he did, though. he clearly despised you, so many be it was out of love for your family? you know jaehyun cared for them, but doing all this was uncharacteristic even for him. when you don't say anything but wear an agonised expression on your face, jaehyun further questions you.
"do you not have anything to say for yourself?", he tries again, his voice a little softer and more hopeful than before but you look like you're fighting some internal battle that doesn't involve him. he exhales deeply, clearly disappointed in your lack of an explanation and just walks past you and out of the kitchen.
you remain in the kitchen for a couple beats more, trying your level best to collect yourself. you can feel tears pricking the corners of your eyes and your breathing is quicker, but this is the absolute worst time to have a little panic attack in the kitchen. how you wished the two of you could just forget about everything for a minute so you could wrap your arms around his figure and fall into his embrace, feeling like that would solve all your problems. it's selfish and wrong, but you know that you're not getting over jaehyun anytime soon.
you'd come to that conclusion a couple months back. the first month after you broke things off with him was possibly the worst time of your life, struggling to eat, sleep or even get out of bed. your friends urged you to reach out to him like they knew you wanted to, but you remained stubborn, convinced at the time that you had made the right decision that would hurt the least for the both of you. you were wrong, you could see that now, but you knew it was much too late. you'd already gone through all the stages of grief, but seeing jaehyun again in this environment had really gone and thrown a spanner in the works for you, all because of your terrible decision-making skills.
any hopes you had of the two of you at least being on semi-friendly terms had just flown out the window as well, and you suddenly think that this might've been the reason why jaehyun even agreed to come. an explanation. a well-deserved one at that. you don't know why you find it so hard to give him one, but you suspect it's because you're not ready to face all that yourself.
upon hearing your mother faintly call out your name, you realise how long you've been standing in the kitchen, taking a couple more deep breaths before you join the rest of them. it's clear that everyone's winding down, your sister curled up on your dad's lap, trying to blink away her sleepiness, while everyone else mutedly watched the television. "didn't mean to keep you all up past your bedtime", you try to joke lightheartedly because your parents look like they're about to hit the hay themselves, but it's really so that no one suspects you were having a little breakdown in the kitchen; especially jaehyun.
"you're not wrong", your dad agrees gruffly, stretching a little before tapping on your sister's cheek to wake her, much to her displeasure. "it's technically your mama's turn to put you to bed, isn't it?", he attempts, but is quickly shot down by your mother, pinching his arm after claiming it was certainly not her turn. after their grand performance, both of them comically turn to look at you with a suspiciously bright look in their eyes. you don't even have time to argue, because the second the hint of a sigh leaves your mouth, they're saying "thank you" and "how nice of you to offer", urging your sister to wake up to let her know that you'll be tucking her in tonight.
she perks up a little at this, nodding with a little glint in her eyes. hopping off your dad's lap, she sleepily totters over to you. "can jae come too?", her voice is hopeful and small, and she yawns in the middle of her sentence but she just has this certain charm that makes everyone unable to say 'no' to her. this includes jaehyun, because one look from her with her arms raised and he's picking her up, pretending to complain about it. you can't help but smile at the whole interaction.
"oh quick! before i forget...", your mom gasps in remembrance, picking her phone up from the coffee table with a tired smile. "don't know when i'll get to see the two of you again so, pictures!"
this may be the only part you were slightly prepared for. your mother had a special affinity for taking photos; not that she was any good at it, she just enjoyed capturing these little moments and treating her gallery like a scrapbook. she had more or less documented the entirety of you and jaehyun's relationship, from the first few months where all the photos were cheesy smiles and awkward poses, to when you had grown more comfortable around each other. in fact, a photo she had taken of jaehyun was your wallpaper for quite some time (it took a lot of effort and explaining to help your mom airdrop you the picture)– it was a shot of jaehyun and your sister grinning from ear to ear, both adorning aprons that were covered in flour after a failed attempt at baking cookies.
the point being, you're pretty sure jaehyun was also expecting the pictures, so it didn't really surprise you when he plastered a smile on his face and came to stand beside you. his hand finds the small of your back soon enough and it makes your body stiffen while simultaneously sending a jolt through it, and jaehyun feels it. mistaking the action for uneasiness, he immediately lifts his warm hand off you so that it's now hovering awkwardly over your body, though no one can see that from the front. while you are disappointed, you lean into him anyway, clasping your hands together behind your back as you both give the camera wide smiles. you're so close you can smell his cologne and it's making you dizzy, not because the scent is overpowering but because it's just so familiar and you can't get enough of it.
the moment is gone in a flash because your mother takes three to four photos while cooing at the two of you before she decides to call it a night, and then jaehyun is ripping himself from you. you don't think anyone else recognises it, the way he seems to want to be as far from you as possible because he's so good at masking these things, but you can feel it. you can feel this heat radiating off of his body whenever he's near you and it's not the warm, fuzzy kind of heat. the spot on your back where his hand rested still burns a little.
your parents are exhausted and look more than happy to be able to jump straight into bed, but not before thanking you and jaehyun. you hug and kiss them goodnight, promising that your next visit will be sooner than this one before they exchange pleasantries with jaehyun, making him promise the same. you know this has to be hard on him, making a mental note to apologise profusely before you part ways. with a reminder that the door now locks from the inside, they bid you goodnight and goodbye, trudging off to their room while your sister scampers up the stairs to hers, suddenly full of life.
you understand why your parents were more than happy to hand over bedtime duties to you and your "boyfriend", because putting your little sister to bed turned out to be a piece of work. she started off by blatantly refusing to brush her teeth, but jaehyun had that one sorted when he reminded her that the veggie monster had a lot of friends, so that was done. she changed into her pyjamas all on her own which was a relief, but you were at a loss over how to actually get her into bed.
you both humoured her for a bit, understanding that she was just happy to have her big sister and her big sister's nice boyfriend home again, so a little excitement was expected. jaehyun played along with her, which was a sight to see, following along with the characters she assigned him in her imaginary games. but when bouncing on her bed turned into running around the room like a crazed bunny, it was a little harder to convince her that she needed to sleep now. "look at me, i'm wide awake", she insists, widening her eyes with her fingers to show you both just how awake she was. jaehyun tried a couple times to catch her, but you're both taken by surprise at her remarkable speed and agility. in the end, you had to resort to just sitting down and hoping that she'll tire herself out, which eventually does happen.
she climbs into bed of her own accord, rubbing at her eyes while you pull the duvet over her body, up to her shoulders. "when are you coming next?", she mumbles curiously while you sit on the edge of her bed, jaehyun standing close by. "soon", you reply honestly, knowing that you'll always have a safe place to come to whenever you need. "maybe i'll even stay for a whole weekend next time."
she likes the sound of this, smiling tiredly with her hands peeking over the edge of her cover, holding it closer to her. "will you come too?", this question is directed towards jaehyun, who looks defeated when he opens his mouth to answer. it's not fair, expecting him to lie to your family like this, but you know you've gotta come clean soon. you'd made up your mind at this point and come up with a plan; you'd explain yourself to jaehyun and apologise after which you'll go your separate ways, then you'll tell your family the truth after tonight, or at least make up a more recent break up, and that's that.
when jaehyun looks to you for help, you play with your hands a little, not fully knowing what to say. "if the old ladies at the nursing home let him go, maybe...", is what you decide is the safest option to go with, and your sister seems satisfied enough, giggling drowsily. you know she's close to falling asleep, and you're about to inwardly celebrate a job well done when she pops her next, unexpected question. "will you both be together forever?"
oh. there's a hint of teasing behind her voice, but everything else about the question is innocent and genuine, blinking her eyes open so she can look at the both of you when you answer. though you're not touching him, you can feel jaehyun stiffen next to you, his voice sounding more than a little awkward when he lets out an involuntary "uhh".
"what do you mean, cutie?"
you don't know why he asks that, because it's a pretty straightforward question; will the two of you be together forever? you want to laugh at the irony because you know that if she had asked the same question last time jaehyun came home, you both would have exchanged knowing smiles, giggling shyly while you tried to answer. the answer would've been 'yes', and you know deep down that it still should be.
she clicks her tongue like it's the most obvious and easy question in the world, shrugging her shoulders when she speaks. "you know, that's what people do when they're in love,", she answers with no hesitation, and you want to roll your eyes because who kidnapped your little sister and replaced her with dhar mann? "just like mommy and daddy!"
"daddy and mommy are married, sweetie, it's a little different–"
"i know that", she cuts off your little improvised answer in a deadpan voice that almost makes you feel stupid, but all her questions have your heart thudding against your rib cage, and you're praying to god that jaehyun can't hear it too. "but still, they love each other, and that's why they're together forever. don't you love each other?"
you're pretty sure the world stopped spinning and your heart stopped beating simultaneously, most definitely not expecting these kinds of questions from your sister. how do you even prepare an answer for this kind of situation? you know for a fact that your cheeks are coated in a dark sheen of red, and out of the corner of your eye (because you refuse to look at him), you’re pretty sure you can see the distinct pink colour paint the tips of jaehyun's ears, like they always do when he's shy or embarrassed. you can't not give her an answer, because that looks weird and she's clearly waiting for one, but answering meant that you either tell her the truth, that no, you will not be together forever because your dumbass went and ruined everything for the both of you six months ago, or you can lie and say that she's right, which would be admitting a lot of things that you didn't want to admit–
"nothing's for sure, but you're right, if two people really do love each other...", jaehyun's deep voice brings all your spiralling thoughts to a halt, and you look at him for the first time in a bit, only to find that he's already looking at you, gaze raw and piercing. you hold your breath when he speaks, because you don't trust yourself at the moment. "...they'll end up together forever."
you hear your sister make some kind of a reply, but the heartbeat in your ears is so loud that you don't quite catch it, the eye contact you're holding with jaehyun so intense that it feels wrong to look away. what could he have possibly meant by that? or was it just some half-assed answer to get your sister to go to sleep? you realise that staring at him while trying to use your sixth sense to nonverbally convey these questions to him isn't going to work, but you can feel the lump forming in your throat, needing to get out of this situation quickly.
it takes everything in you to break the eye contact in favour of pressing a quick peck to your sister's temple, and she looks about ten seconds away from just crashing. "night y/n, night jae...", and with that she's out like a light, and you two wait wordlessly until her breathing evens out before silently exiting the room.
once her bedroom door is shut, you make a beeline for the front door, way too scared and vulnerable right now to look at jaehyun. he doesn't say anything, so neither do you, making sure the door is actually locked before taking your phone out of your pocket. the time on your phone screen reads '11:43', and you know it's too late to try and catch the metro or a bus, but you're too stubborn and embarrassed to ask jaehyun to drop you.
the air is cold outside, much colder than it was inside your warm house. at the current moment, there is no breeze either, the trees are still and there are only a few lights on around the street, and it just makes everything seem so still and loud. you look out at the road, eyes zeroing in on this one lamp post where you shared one of your first few kisses with the man standing beside you. it's crazy how time can change things, you think, because never would you have believed in the moment that jaehyun called you "the most beautiful girl in the world" before leaning in to sweetly connect your lips that he could ever be something so close to a stranger within months.
ultimately opting to look at him, you're once again unable to read the expression on his face as you try your best to speak your mind to him. "um, i'm gonna book a cab, so you're officially free to go. thanks again for tonight, you really didn't have to come with me, so i owe you one. or i don't have to owe you one, because we're not going to see each other again- anything's good with me, just uh...thanks."
he waits patiently for you to finish, and aside from the slightest hint of amusement in his eyes, you're at a loss over what he's really thinking, but his face is so stupidly handsome that you're feeling angry and a little awkward, choosing to look around, and at the floor, playing with your fingers as you spoke.
"you're so dramatic y/n, i can drop you home, it's no big deal", he's already walking towards the road and biting his lip, and you can't tell whether it's out of habit or if he's trying to hide a smile, yet something tells you that it might be the latter.
"so you just let me say all that even though you were gonna offer to drop me? dude..."
the initial ten minutes of the drive are uncommunicative, both of you choosing to look at the dark road instead of acknowledging the awkward silence that was swallowing the car up whole. you don’t talk about your argument in the kitchen, you don’t make small talk about dinner, you don’t talk. you'd normally play some music in the background and you know that your phone is definitely still connected to his car's bluetooth, but somehow it just doesn't feel right– punishing yourself by sitting in this impenetrable silence should do you better.
the roads are more or less empty, save for the lone car or bike that speeds past you. jaehyun knows the way to your house from your parent's because of the amount of times you've driven back and forth, so you don't feel the need to tell him to turn right or to keep going down a certain road, making for even more silence.
part of you is still a little thankful that it isn't the most short drive, even though you aren't even speaking to each other. all it takes is picturing your empty house, devoid of the homely domestic feeling it used to carry when jaehyun was a frequent visitor. what would you even do when you got home? wallow in self-pity over your life choices? play 'sweet' by cigarettes after sex because it reminds you of him, then put on his hoodie that doesn't even smell like him anymore, just so you can curl up in bed and have a good cry while you reminisce? you're starting to think that maybe attempting to talk to him isn't the worst idea, at least it'll give you something to cry about later.
you're going crazy wracking your brain, trying to think of something to say that wouldn't make the atmosphere even more uneasy, but all you got was "hey, thanks again for coming" and "hey, sorry for breaking up with you, what's good though?". you can't even help the wince creeping on your face, finally choosing to go with the former before you have a heart attack and die in jaehyun's front seat.
"thanks again for agreeing to come", you start, absolutely hating the break in your voice from not talking for some time. "you really didn't have to do that. and for dropping me."
he offers you a quick nod in your general direction and fixes his eyes on the road ahead like he was zipping through a crowded highway, though you're sure there isn't a car in sight. "like i said, it's cool", is all you get in return, and you have to remind yourself that he has every right to be short with you.
but still, you try again. "and you don't have to worry about my parents", chewing on your bottom lip, you actually look at him this time, hoping it'll prompt him to do the same, but it doesn't. "i'm gonna tell them the truth."
he releases a short breath from his nose like he finds your statement funny, but continues to not really say anything, just nodding to indicate that he heard you. you subconsciously clench and unclench your jaw at that, because god, he's so fucking annoying, but you swear you don't mean to release the slightly irritated sigh that you do. if you hadn't seen his knuckles turning white from how hard he's gripping the steering wheel, you might not have known that your little sigh pissed him off, because you can't tell it from his face, save from the barely-there eyebrow twitch.
you don't know what it is about car rides with only one other person that make you feel so vulnerable, but you think paired with this kind of silence, you could potentially confess to murder in this setting. it's infuriating, how unresponsive he is, and part of you thinks you're jealous of the control he's exerting, because you're dead sure that if you were in his position, you'd have a fair amount to say. it must be satisfying for him in a way, watching you squirm like this out of guilt and discomfort, but you know in your heart that jaehyun simply isn't like that.
"look, jaehyun", your mouth is working faster than your brain, the silence proving to be too much for you to handle. "i know i fucked things up a bit. with how i ended it and everything..."
perhaps you should've taken a little more time to properly articulate your thoughts, because even jaehyun can't control the astounded scoff that slips out of his mouth. you yourself can't believe that you chose to deliver your words like that and it makes you sound so self-righteous, but they're out, and now you're bracing yourself to finally hear what jaehyun really has to say.
"fucked things up a bit? are you serious?", you can hear it in his voice that he's holding back, but he chooses to laugh in disbelief instead, which you think is actually worse than him straight up screaming at you. "y/n, you didn't even bother telling me in person. you dumped me over the fucking phone, saying it wasn't working."
you now kind of wish that you had just kept quiet and sat in his awkward car, and exchanged awkward niceties when you reach home, never to see him again. but this is your final chance at some form of redemption, and now that jaehyun was actually speaking his mind instead of giving you tight nods, you tried to explain yourself.
"jaehyun, i know, i just–"
"i called you a bunch of times. i tried to come see you and everything, but you went and changed your lock and all your friends were saying you didn't want to see me?"
there goes trying to explain yourself. so you sat and listened instead, and it was the least you could do. jaehyun's voice became more and more strained as he talked, the emotions he was feeling now a lot more evident. he was angry, but more importantly, he was confused, and sad.
"i just- i didn't know what went wrong, you know? we were completely fine as far as i knew", he continues on in a laboured way and he's not looking for you speak right now, so you don't. "fuck i- i thought we were in love."
the little laugh he lets out in between his words more or less breaks your heart, the whole scenario sounding all too familiar. those exact words were the last thing you'd heard from jaehyun before you fully and cruelly broke things off, letting him know the decision was final before cutting the call. you remember that day so clearly. you had meant to go see him and explain all this in person, that’s the whole reason you were in the car, but for some reason, you just couldn’t do it. you remember how much your hands were shaking as you waited for him to pick up the call, sitting in the car by yourself in the middle of your driveway. how long you sat and cried after you ended the call, tears falling until there weren't any left. how it began raining the very second you stepped out of your car to go back inside.
the weather was a funny thing, choosing to mirror your mood only when it saw fit. it was warm and sunny on the day you broke up with him, gentle breeze and wispy clouds all around. it was warm and sunny this morning, the weather ever so pleasant as you plucked up the courage to walk to his door. it was still unusually warm and sunny for the couple months following your break up, feeling sour as ever that the weather was so lovely and all you could do was sit in your room and feel sorry.
you took note of all these occasions because it always used to piss you off. though you shiver now in the car, you think it's kind of satisfying in a way, because the only two times your mood and the weather lined up was right after the break up, and the second you stepped outside your house with jaehyun; it feels like a premonition, or a revelation of sorts. the grey of the stormy sky matched the absolute devastation you felt after breaking up with him, rain pouring from the heavy clouds like they were crying for you. now, the cold, still air feels like baited breath, awaiting your next move.
"and nothing, i hear nothing from you for six fucking months until you're suddenly on my doorstep, asking me to pretend to be your boyfriend for a night. that's fucking insane!", he sounds a little wild now, very exasperated, but you figure it's probably better to just let him get it all out of his system, and you'd do good to listen to him as well. everything he's saying makes complete sense, all the emotions he dealt with akin to what you would've gone through had it been you in his place. "and you know what's more insane? i agreed. after all that, i agreed."
that’s the part you don’t understand. your heart is racing listening to him and you have so many thoughts swimming around in your head, it's difficult to filter them. you feel similar to how you felt back in the kitchen, although this time you can't take a minute by yourself to get over it. you absolutely refuse to cry in this moment, not wanting to seem like you're trying to victimise yourself when you are aware you're the problem. but you can feel your heart breaking all over again.
"why did you agree?", you physically can't raise your voice to louder than a whisper, the tension too thick to try and overpower it.
"why did you dump me?", he counters like a child, and while you were expecting the question, it still makes you freeze up a little. he huffs in annoyance when you don't say anything, inclining his head while he waits expectantly for you to answer. "you wanted to talk? let's talk, y/n. you don't get to just waltz back into my life like it's nothing. it's not fair," it's so cold, the way he says your name, but you try your best not to let it further shake you, mustering up the courage to finally speak. "it's so stupid, jaehyun."
he looks like he's about two seconds away from just combusting, the only sound piercing the cold air being the gentle hum of the engine. "don't you think i deserve to know?", he urges, voice edged with hurt and frustration. "i spent the whole day with you and your family, pretending like everything was happy and normal when it's not."
"i know, jaehyun-"
"then, tell me."
you shift uncomfortably in your seat, teeth toying with your bottom lip as you avoid looking at him. "i don't know," you murmur, your voice barely audible to yourself over the pounding of your heart.
"you don't know?", he repeats incredulously, his tone tinged with disbelief. "after everything, you don't know? don't lie to me, y/n."
your throat tightens as guilt washes over you, but you try to stand your ground. "i just... i couldn't do it anymore," you confess, voice trembling with emotion.
"couldn't do what?", he presses, his frustration mounting with each passing moment. you know he doesn't believe you, dead set on getting the answers he deserves. he's driving slowly now, allowing him to turn his head in your direction more often.
"this!", you exclaim but immediately recoil when you see the look of hurt flash in his eyes. "no! not this, i mean- me! it's my fault, you did nothing wrong." you're saying all the wrong things, but you're too overcome with emotion to attempt to form a coherent sentence. still, you know it's time that the truth came out, so you continue to explain with a heavy heart.
"i didn't mean to hurt you," you choke out, and your voice is so thick you have to swallow before you carry on. he looks indignant and rightfully so, but you go on before he can interrupt you again. "but i was so scared, jaehyun."
his expression softens at your state, replaced with a mixture of sadness and resignation. "scared of what?", he asks quietly, his words hanging heavy in the air. you feel the need to pause for a moment, hands balled into tight fists as you try to regulate your breathing. you really didn't take into account how debilitating the night would be on yourself. sure, you knew it was going to be tough seeing jaehyun again, especially if he agreed to pretend to be together, but you weren't really expecting to hash it out like this, the weight of your decision pressing down on your like a leaden blanket.
the car moves so slow it may as well be still but when you turn to him, you can feel the burn of jaehyun's gaze, his eyes searching for some semblance of understanding. "i loved you", he whispers, voice cracking with the intensity of his words. "i would've done anything for you."
you're still, you're so so still. tears threaten to spill from your eyes as you struggle to find the right words to say, but he's completely thrown you off. the car has slowed to a stop, engine idling before he eventually turns it off in favour of turning to you.
"that's exactly why," you reply weakly, your voice a fraction of the volume it normally is. he surveys you intently, his expression a mix of confusion and hurt, eyes reflecting the very same sadness you feel.
"what do you mean?"
"i was scared of hurting you," your confession does nothing to ease his confusion, but you can see he looks more shocked than anything now. "scared of hurting me?," he echoes, his uncertainty and disbelief palpable. "this is so ironic, it's almost funny..."
you think hearing any more of what he has to say is actually going to kill you internally, so you know you have to rush to explain before he starts giving you a piece of his mind again. "i know, it's so fucking stupid, jaehyun", your voice is trembling from the sheer guilt you feel, bottom lip quivering so much you have to bite it to get it to stop. "everything was going so perfectly, you were so perfect, and it scared me so much."
he falls silent, much to your relief, his expression even softening minutely as he processes your words and this gives you the encouragement to continue. "remember that night on the beach? on the trip last year?", you speak tentatively, wanting him to understand your thought process and the tangled mess of emotions swirling inside you at the time, though it's not much of a defense. the memory floods into your mind so vividly, and you can see it all; the salt in the air, the gentle breeze, the feeling of the sand, your intertwined hands swinging. it was so serene and you'd give anything to be there in that moment again, though it's nothing but a distant dream now.
he nods slowly without speaking, and you release a wet sort of laugh, feeling like you'd choke on the lump in your throat. "we talked about everything that night, our families, our childhoods, our futures...and then you brought up what would happen after we graduated college."
you know he remembers because his eyes light up with recognition and he looks like he's replaying that exact moment in his head, and you hope he remembers it with the same soft, gushy feeling you do. "you said you wanted to move in together, and don't get me wrong, i was thrilled, but it made me realise how...serious everything was, you know?", your voice catches in your throat and you're talking to yourself as much as you're talking to him and he seems to understand that, because he makes no attempt to stop you.
it's silent again for a bit as you two reminisce, but you break it again. "i just knew i was going to fuck up, jaehyun. maybe not right away, but eventually, and the thought terrified me," you sniffle a little, not being able to bring yourself to look up from your hands to meet his gaze. "that feeling never really went away, and it was eating me up from the inside. it got so bad that i had convinced myself that you were going to leave me, so i had to do it first, before i fucked up."
your sorrowful confession hangs in the air like an echo and you finally give in to the urge to look at him, and you're shocked– he looks at you so carefully, his expression soft, much, much softer than before. you couldn't stop the tears from finally falling if you tried , the soft glow of the dashboard illuminating the contours of your now wet face. your shared eye contact makes you feel nervous, but not in the way you were expecting– it's too gentle, too raw and it makes you feel a certain way.
"i know it's not an excuse," you're blubbering so much that your cheeks feel hot, you're practically falling apart in the passenger seat of jaehyun's car while he watches and lets you pour all your miseries out onto him. "you don't know how much i regretted it...but i thought i did the right thing. for the both of us. even though i just ended up doing what i was trying to avoid by hurting you."
it's too much now, jaehyun's too silent, and too not-angry for your liking; why is he looking at you in a way that makes you feel like he doesn't think you're the worst person in the world? you can't hold back the sob that's building in your chest, doubling over in favour of pressing your hands against your face and bawling into them. you're not too loud a cryer, but the tremors of emotion you feel are making your shoulders shake, so you're crying silently into your hands while trembling. however guarded he tries to be, the gentleness of his voice overpowers it as he speaks. "i know, shh...," he murmurs and you can't believe your ears, that the man you thought hated you is actually attempting to comfort you after everything. "breathe, y/n."
like it's second nature to him, his hand travels to your back as the sobs wrack through your body, immediately drawing soothing circles on to your covered skin with his thumb. you don't know how but this almost makes you feel worse, the fact that he's still so caring towards you. you pluck up the strength to lift your face from your moist hands, and you're sure it's not a pretty sight that greets him. your nose feels unbelievably stuffy, and your face is on fire when you meet his sympathetic eyes, the warmth from his gaze and hand spreading throughout you, even though he's now removed it. "i'm sorry," you manage through sniffles, but you think you almost flatline when he reaches his hand towards your face, ever so gently caressing it. his thumb juts out and sweeps across the skin under your eye, wiping away at the wetness. "i know."
"shh, it's okay. you're okay", he coos gently and slowly takes his hand back in favour of imitating slow breaths for you, helping you relax a little as you copy him. "why would you think i'd leave you?", he asks carefully once you've calmed down a bit and wiped your tear-streaked face, simply surveying you now. all you can offer him is a defeated shrug, attempting to collect your thoughts. "remember i told you about my ex? the very first one?"
he nods.
"i moved on obviously, like ages ago, but since then i think i've always had this idea that getting dumped is inevitable", you try to explain, voice small as he listens patiently. "it was either leave them or get left, and i was so scared that it would happen with you, that i'd fuck up so bad that you would leave. i couldn't do it."
he frowns and calls out your name in a way that sounds like he's about to lecture you, but you know he can't tell you anything that you haven't already told yourself. "i know, jae, it was so stupid, i know. i don't regret anything more", you sigh, giving him a tight, small smile when you lock eyes. "i'm sorry."
you notice his eyes soften at the nickname, releasing a quiet huff before he runs a hand through his hair. his body language doesn't carry the same anger it did before when he was ranting, now looking subdued and reflective. "i understand why you did what you did. it was stupid, but i understand", he murmurs, his voice impossibly soft when meeting your gaze, the eye contact so intense that you have to physically remind yourself not to cry again by digging your fingernails into your palms. "i would've never left you."
you nod slowly at his admission, his words hanging in the air. "i should've just talked to you...", you concluded in a sullen way and he doesn't reply in full, just mumbling a soft "yeah" under his breath. you don't mind the silence that fills the car this time, the underlying tension more or less dissipated, but you do notice the time, realising that jaehyun still needs to go back home after dropping you.
"should we, uh...", you gesture towards the road and he jumps up in his seat, as though he forgot that he was driving you somewhere in the first place, muttering "sorry" before twisting the key to start the car. this makes you let out an involuntary giggle and jaehyun shoots you a quick glare which immediately shuts you up, a certain warmth blooming in your chest when you see a small smile creep on to his face out of the corner of your eye.
it's quiet for a bit, jaehyun focusing on the road while you gaze out the window. much to your dismay, both the road and the various buildings and shops start to look a lot more familiar, indicating that you are nearing your home. you shouldn't be dismayed really, because this wasn't the most congenial of car rides, but it means that your time with jaehyun is coming to an end. you don't know what the conversation that took place means for you and him however, because unless you're alarmingly stupid, you feel that he may not hate you as much as he once did. does this mean you might even be able to see him again sometime? in a setting where you're not sweating and shaking at just the thought of seeing him?
you think it might be a bit audacious of you to ask that, so you don't. instead, you turn to him with a light grin, playing with the necklace clasped around your neck. "hey, at least you got some new headphones out of all of this", you joke lightheartedly, eyeing the package sitting on the backseat. he lets out a heartwarming chuckle at your comment, glancing at the bag through his rear view mirror. "i can't believe your parents bought that for me. you think they'll make me return it when they find out we aren't together?", he remarks, and you do your best to ignore the little pang you feel at the reminder of your situation. his comment does make you snort though, and you nod along with him. "nah, you need it more than anyone. your airpods have seen better days."
he laughs again, and you wouldn't believe that you two were arguing back and forth like madmen some twenty minutes back. this feels familiar and comfortable, and you cross your fingers in case you jinx it. "do you remember that time when we planned a picnic..." jaehyun begins, a sense of nostalgia shining through his cheeks. "and you forgot to bring the speakers? and we tried blasting music through my one airpod?"
you can't stop the peals of laughter that escape from your mouth as you nod, covering your mouth when your snort makes him laugh as well. "remind me why we didn't just play the music straight from your phone?", you question, replaying the memory in your mind like it was recent. he pauses to think for a moment, rubbing the back of his neck while he hums. "yeah, what the fuck? why didn't we just do that?"
you're laughing in unison as you take this trip down memory lane together, the next few minutes of the car ride consisting of exclamations of "oh! remember when..." and "that time when...", both of you adding on to the memories with your own perspectives and insights. the fact that the conclusion of your little dispute remains ambiguous doesn't bother you too much at the moment, happy to just enjoy the warm atmosphere while you can.
jaehyun's animatedly recounting a story about your sister downloading a game on his phone when you face him, and the last thing you remember paying attention to was that she had somehow managed to spend a large amount of his actual money on it. your eyes are focused on him now, just studying him, and he seems to realise that you aren't listening to his story when he glances at you.
"what?", he questions, the corner of his eyes crinkling when he narrows them at you in an playful manner, taking one hand off the steering wheel to drum absentmindedly on his thigh. "nothing, i just...", you trail off, scanning his features. "you changed your hair. it's...nice. i wanted to tell you that earlier."
he clearly wasn't expecting the compliment, mouth opening and then closing as he tries to think of an admissible reply. "you like it?", he then asks, a shy smile tugging at his lips when he consciously cards his fingers through the longer bit at the back. at your reaffirming nod and heavy gaze, the expected pink sheen dusts his cheeks and though you can't see them, you know the tips of his ears are pink too. he mumbles something of a timid "thank you", both of you smiling like idiots while he trains his eyes on the road.
not too soon after, his car is pulling into your dark driveway. you can't help the sinking feeling in your chest, lips curved slightly downwards. none of the lights are on, save for the streetlight, illuminating the street in a ghostly, dim way. your house looks just like it had for the past many months, gloomy and lonely, and you're absolutely dreading the idea of moping around once again. if this day spent with jaehyun has showed you anything, it's that you're a 100% sure you've not moved on, and that you won't for a long, long time. simply put, you're still in love with him, and you'll have to carry the cross of your mistake for some time to come.
he switches the ignition off but neither of you move. you're sat in your dull driveway on an otherwise empty street, all the other lights of your neighbouring houses off. neither of you say anything, mostly because you're not sure what one is supposed to say in this situation, so everything is still.
"so–"
"well–"
you let out a nervous chuckle while he smiles a bit, both of you mumbling apologies for interrupting each other. "you go first", jaehyun compels you, but now you don't know what to say because you were just going to make it up as you speak. your mouth has a way of working faster than your brain sometimes, but neither seem to be too functional at the present moment. "no, you go", is all you got, and jaehyun has the nerve to roll his eyes, twisting in his seat a little so he's facing you.
"i was just going to say that we uh, reached your place", he claims in a deadpanned manner, but your car door is still locked and your seatbelt is still locked in. you think you must have lost your mind, hoping that he'd tell you to stay with him forever and never leave (which you would have agreed to in a heartbeat). "i guess we have...", you nod, looking out the window and observing your home. maybe it was the dread of going back to your old routine that gave you the sudden boost of confidence, but you realise he never answered your question from before.
"jaehyun...", you begin but falter when you think you might be overstepping, ultimately deciding to just ask anyway when he looks at you expectantly. "why did you agree to come today? we both know you didn't have to."
he looks like he was dreading the very question you asked for some time, shutting his eyes when he leans his head back against the headrest and sighs. "i don't know", is the answer he gives you, voice muffled through the palms of his hands that are rubbing his face tiredly. biting your lip, you have to hold back a similar sigh because you should've known he's not going to just tell you like that. you have no right to press, but yet you do, one more time. "jaehyun, please?"
maybe it's because you sound so meek, but he drops his hands in favour of looking at you, really looking at you, like he's searching your eyes. "why do you think?", he turns it back on you, but you know this is just his way of avoiding the question. "if i knew, i wouldn't be asking. i know you don't have to tell me, you don't owe me a single thing, i just–", you speak desperately with all of the confidence you can muster, worried that your bottom lip would start trembling again. "please, i need to know."
you're looking each other dead in the eye, and while your voice isn't strong, it's honest and raw, and jaehyun can sense that. you can see that there's a million thoughts running in his mind just by the pained look in his eye and your own heartbeat has picked up, the sound deafening in your ears.
"if you haven't figured it out by now, i don't know what to tell you."
thud. thud. thud. you wonder if he can hear your heartbeat over the sound of his, but the blood pumping through your veins is making your ears ring, because what did he mean by that? you hope it means what you want it to mean, but you can't just assume you know everything because you're delusional at this point. "jaehyun, what are you sayi–"
"i agreed because i'm still in love with you."
there it is. the silence after his confession is positively deafening, your mouth agape as your try to register what you just heard. your eyes flicker between his, searching for any signs that he's just messing you and that it's some cruel joke, though it would be completely in his right to fuck with you if he wanted. he's never looked more vulnerable, eyes trained on you in an almost frantic way, like he himself can't believe what he just said. the way he just blurted it out makes you think that he didn't fully mean to admit that, but it's out, nothing he could do to take it back.
"what?", your own voice sounds like an echo and you wish you had something else to say because you heard him loud and clear, but there's a burning ache in your chest that claws all the way up to your throat. the shock is evident in your voice, not knowing what to do with yourself as you visibly process his words. "tell me you're joking", you plead in a pained way, words barely above a whisper. he doesn't say anything, looking lost in his own thoughts as his eyes scan your face. "you don't hate me?"
"hate you?", he scoffs disconsolately, shaking his head slowly. "i couldn't hate you if i tried. and believe me, i tried."
you can hardly believe your ears. you know your heart shouldn't be pounding the way it is, it feels wrong almost for you to be feeling as relieved as you are. "after everything?", you insist dumbfoundedly, but the longing in your voice is palpable, even if you're trying to give him a way out. "i was so horrible to you, jaehyun." you hate the way your voice cracks, but jaehyun just sighs and offers you a sad smile.
"there's nothing you could do to make me hate you."
it's heartbreaking, how defeated he sounds, but he's also looking at you like you could do no wrong in his eyes. "i never moved on", you whisper, hesitance clear as you tell him the truth. "i couldn't delete any of our pictures, i still have all your clothes, sometimes i accidentally set the table for two when it's just me..."
he's blinking quickly, and if you didn't know any better, you'd say he was trying to hold back tears. your break-up did nothing but cause immense amounts of pain for the both of you, and you'd give anything in the world to make up the time lost. his wide-eyed and nearly motionless expression urges you to continue, ready to pour out your heart to the man you loved.
"i still have your number memorised", your face mirrors his, voice growing stronger by the minute. "all the gifts and letters you've ever given me, they're all still there in that shoebox in my cupboard."
"i thought about you everyday", his whisper is raspy, speaking right after you do. "every party i went to, i looked for you even though i knew you wouldn't be there. you know johnny tried setting me up with people?"
you try to suppress the little sting, but you feel it deep inside you. "he did?", you have to clear your throat, and you almost don't want to ask but you do anyway. he releases a sad little chuckle and nods, toying with his fingers. "yeah. i knew i was doomed when the whole date, i wished she was you."
the smile finds its way on to your face against your will, feeling that familiar lump make its way to your throat. "she could've made you happy, jae", you argue anyway because at the end of the day, you want the best for him, and you know you're far from the best.
"no one could make me feel the way you do, y/n", he replied honestly, and there's a sense of finality to his words, like he'd had this same argument with himself time and time again, only to come to this conclusion. “the thought of anyone else touching you made me sick”, he croaked, not missing the way his eyes ghost over your frame.
his words bring about a noticeable shift in the air, followed by silence. he watches you, and you watch him, breathing slow as your eyes dart across his face.”i don’t want anyone but you”, you confess slowly, and a few beats pass before you find it in you to speak again. "i love you, jaehyun."
silence.
you expected disapproval, maybe even a malicious scoff, but you certainly weren't expecting to feel a soft pair of lips against yours as he suddenly lurches forward.
you're stunned, so stunned that you don't even reciprocate the kiss, lips unmoving against his. it's only when he takes this as a sign of discomfort and breaks the kiss that you find yourself reacting, hands immediately making their way to caress his cheeks, leaning forward to chase his lips and close the distance between you. he lets out a sound of surprise against your lips but kisses you back right away, a hand wrapping around your neck from the back, tangling itself in your hair. the kiss is heated and so long overdue, tangible through the way his lips meld furiously together with yours, teeth clashing every now and then.
your hands make their way to his broad shoulders, one wrapping around them while the other comes to rest on his chest, gripping the material of his hoodie. you have the urge to be impossibly close to him, trying to lean forward to kiss him more fully but you're restricted by your seatbelt. it's almost as if he can read your mind, because the hand placed against your face now moves to press on the buckle to release you without breaking the kiss. "fucking seatbelt...", he mumbles disgruntedly against your lips, fiddling with the button until you hear it click, finally separating yourself from him to slip it over you. "there we go."
you don't stay separated for long because jaehyun uses the hand behind your head to pull you towards him again, capturing your lips in a way that makes all the air leave your lungs. "come here", he grunts, using his long arms to pull you clumsily over the gearshift and straight on to his lap. you settle yourself in to the somewhat awkward position in the enclosed space, but that's the last thing on your mind when all your thoughts consist of jaehyun, jaehyun, jaehyun. his lips are back on yours in a instance, tongue sweeping across your bottom lip messily and you gladly allow it to explore your mouth.
the air is impossibly thick, heavily contrasting to the cold weather outside the car, even his lips and hands feel warm against your hot body. you feel his hands grip your waist easily in this position, lips leaving your own to drag across the expanse of your jaw. you whine quietly at the feeling of his mouth sucking a particular spot on your neck, tilting your head back as you wrap your arms around his neck. "missed this", he muses, tongue peeking out to kitten lick at your neck, breath hot against your sensitive skin. "missed you."
the feeling in your chest when his hands find their way under your shirt and on to your bare skin is inexplicable, unable to stop the soft moan from tumbling from your lips when his big hands glide over your stomach, back and finally your breasts. everything about the way he's touching you and kissing you is greedy and urgent, like he's afraid you'll disappear from his arms if he loosens his grip even by a little bit. you'd be a fool to not match this energy, pressing into him while you squeeze your hands over his. "need you so bad, jae."
you're subconsciously grinding down against him needily, hips stuttering against his lap like you've never been touched before. "fuck", your eyes widen at the groan that leaves his throat, sounding absolutely guttural as he grips the skin of your hip harshly.
he's barely done anything and you're coming undone right in front of his watchful eyes, your panties dampening at the look on his face. "jae..", you whine when his fingers dip past the waistband of your pants, gently cupping your clothed core as you rut against it. "shit, baby", he marvels at the stickiness of your panties, feeling your wetness on his fingers just through the material. "you really missed me, huh?"
you don't even have the time to respond to his cocky remark before his fingers are slipping beneath the band of your panties to circle your clit, spreading the wetness around your folds. a breathy sigh escapes your lips, throwing your head back as he experimentally prods at your entrance and eventually slips a finger inside. "still so tight for me", he all but groans, pumping his finger in and out of you languidly, drinking in the sounds of your pleasure. he feels so blissfully familiar, and though you haven't been touched by him, or anyone for that matter for months, the stretch of his second finger feels the same kind of intimate as it did before, if not more.
you lean forward and press your lips against his once again, kissing him like you might never get the chance to again, all while you're grinding back down on his hand that's fingering you steadily with a thumb circling your clit at the same time. his free hand moves to bunch your top up above your breasts, peppering kisses over the tops of them. he wastes no time in pulling your breasts free from from their cups, attaching his lips to one nipple and swirling his tongue around it in a way that makes you cry out. "my pretty girl", he mumbles almost to himself while cupping your other breast, making a show out of it as his tongue flicks over your hardened bud over and over until your arching your back and pressing it further into his face. “thought about this all the time.”
keeping in mind that you're still technically in a public place, you bite your lip to contain the sounds of your pleasure, though jaehyun doesn't make it easy when he notices this and increases the pace of his fingers. the hand fondling your breast leaves it unattended for a moment to release your bottom lip from your teeth, smoothing his thumb over the swollen skin. "i've waited months to hear these sounds. let me hear you, baby", he all but purrs and that's all it takes for a moan to tumble out of your mouth, pressing your forehead against the side of his face while you screw your eyes shut out of pleasure.
with his attack on your sensitive buds and his fingers pistoning inside of you, you know you aren't going to last long. "already?", jaehyun chides with a small smirk, and it's embarrassing how well he knows your body, grazing his teeth against your nipple in a way that feels painful and heavenly at the same time. you can feel his rock hard bulge against you, and with the untimely grinding of your hips against him, you're sure this is torturous for him. "don't wanna come like this", you whine against his cheek, your entire body feeling sticky from the heat inside the closed vehicle. your puckered lips leave wet kisses all over the expanse of his cheek, and the boyish giggle that leaves his mouth makes your heart flutter. "wanna feel you, jae."
his head is thrown back against the headrest and his eyes are shut tightly, jaw clenched as he slowly slips his fingers out of you. though you whine at the loss of contact and you're almost grinding against the air, you want nothing more than to make him feel good as well. "want you to fill me up", you coo at him, softly linking your hands behind his neck as you test the waters with your words. it's clear they have an effect on him, both hands placed on your hips as he helps you lazily grind against his erection. "don't– have a condom", he grits out, hips bucking up to meet yours. "don't need one", you murmured immediately, knowing he wants this as bad as you do.
his eyes flicker open at that, one hand leaving your hip to brush some stray hairs away from your face, gently tucking some behind your ear. you could melt at the way he's looking at you, so tender and loving, a warmth spreading all over you until you feel like you have to look away. he doesn't let you however, hand quickly coming you to cup your cheek before leaning in place a small peck against your lips. "are you sure?", he sounds breathless, but still firm as his eyes glance between yours like he's reading them.
if he can read them, he'll know that you can't nod fast enough, dragging your hips across his needily to show him. "i'm sure. i want you, jae.", you're so needy that you don't even bother to take your pants or panties off fully, fingers fumbling with the waistband as you shimmy them down a little, leaving your underwear on. you swear your mouth waters when he unbuttons his pants and lets his cock spring out against his stomach, lustful eyes taking in the way he keeps his shirt up with his teeth. if this weren't such an awkward position, you'd have taken him in your mouth in an instant, knowing exactly what to do to hear the man in front of you whimper.
nudging your panties to the side, he focuses on collecting your wetness all over the tip of his dick, hissing at the contact. "please", you whine, not wanting to waste another moment, finally sighing in relief when he begins to press his cock inside you. he swears under his breath at the feeling, and you're feeling so stretched out just from him slipping it in even though you're still so wet that you just go lax in his arms until he bottoms out. "that's it", he grunts like he's holding back. "taking me so well, angel."
you preen at his praise, finally beginning to move your hips a little at his coaxing. sighing against the shell of his ear, he picks up the pace for you, not warning you before thrusting upwards to meet your movements with a groan. you can feel your mind going blank at the sensation, your moans sounding more like cries whenever he snaps his hips into yours, the obscene sounds filling the car. you're just so full, his hands gliding up and down your sides as he fucks deep inside you, making up for all the lost time. "you feel so good, baby", he barely gets his words out, but it gives you the encouragement to bounce up and down on his thick cock a little faster than before, his eyes widening at the feeling. "just like that."
he's kissing and sucking all over your neck again, lips ghosting over whatever skin he can reach and it's all so much, feeling a single tear stream down your face. he almost slows down for a second when he feels the tear drop on to his own face, eyebrows raised in surprise because he thinks he's hurting you, but he's even more shocked when you let out the high-pitched whine. "what's wrong, angel?", he mumbles into your neck, peering up at you carefully. you shake your head profusely, continuing to grind down on his cock. "i just- just love you so much, jae", you blabber incoherently, so wet that you're practically gushing around his dick.
"aw, baby", he shushes you sweetly, pressing his forehead against yours as his thrusts become more and more erratic. "i'm here. not going anywhere." the coil in your stomach is tightening and you can feel every inch of him inside you, more tears threatening to spill from your eyes before he's kissing them away. "i'm here."
he's hitting all the right spots inside you in this position, and he's basically doing all the work because you're like putty in his strong arms, all you can do is moan and cry out against him weakly. "i'm close", you warn him, but you know he already knows that, and you know he is too, slipping your hand down to where his rests on your hip and interlacing your fingers. "me too, pretty", he sputters through his teeth, giving your hand a tight squeeze as you start to come undone. “want you to cum. can you do that for me?”
"oh my god", you're crying out as you cum around his cock, body and mind going numb and ears ringing as the coil finally snaps. "cum inside me, jae, please", his eyes go wide at the way you're begging him, and he doesn't look like he can hold back much longer. "fuck angel, you- you sure–"
"yes, please, need you to fill me up", you cut him off, too sensitive from the way he's helping you ride out your high to move anymore. with a few more sloppy thrusts, his cock is twitching inside you before you lets out a guttural groan, his warm cum filling you up. you go limp against him, face nuzzled into the crook of his neck as the both of you try to regulate your heartbeats.
the sounds of your heavy breathing fills up the car along with jaehyun's soft murmurs of "so perfect" and "did so well for me". any doubts you had in your mind of this being a mistake in jaehyun's eyes are wiped away when he begins petting your head, gently smoothing your messy hair as he presses firm kisses to your head. his cock softens inside of you but he makes no move to pull out, wrapping his arms around your waist while you do the same around his neck, simply sitting in each other's presence silently.
you struggle but finally pick yourself up, gazing at his moonlit face from your place on his lap. “you okay? was that okay?”, he murmurs softly, his voice thick and eyes hazy as he traces little shapes on your back. “more than okay”, you reply tiredly, pressing your lips against his once again because you feel you’re in a dream-like state right now. you're sure he's the most beautiful man you're ever had the privilege of looking at, feeling incredibly vulnerable when you speak again even though he's looking at you with nothing but love in his eyes. "now what?", you question, suddenly feeling like you've jumped the gun when he opens his mouth to say something but stays silent. "never mind, don't answer that, we'll talk about it later", you shake your head, laughing a little breathlessly when he grins at you, pecking his forehead sweetly.
you look away from him and at your lifeless house, mouth working faster than your brain once again. "would you...want to come in?", you wince, feeling kind of stupid for asking but meaning it anyway. you're both comforted and thrilled when a large grin is plastered on to his face, feeling like maybe your home won't be as lifeless anymore.
"i think i'd love to come in."
#nct x reader#jaehyun x reader#jaehyun#jaehyun angst#jaehyun smut#nct angst#nct oneshot#nct smut#nct fic#nct fluff#nct scenarios#nct au#nct imagines#nct reactions#jaehyun fluff#jaehyun fic#jaehyun drabbles#jaehyun scenarios#jaehyun au#jaehyun oneshot#jaehyun imagines#jaehyun timestamps#kpop#kpop smut#kpop angst#kflixnet#nct 127 smut#nct 127 angst#nct 127 x reader#nct 127 fic
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needy joost :3
Stay with me
Joost Klein x reader
summary: you get back home to a drunk, and very needy Joost.
a/n: since i don’t write smut and don’t know if this was meant to be a smut request i wrote it as fluff sorry if you wanted smut but i do not write these types of things and sorry its short :,)
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╰┈➤ ⋆｡‧˚ʚ 🐦 ɞ˚‧｡⋆
You kick off your shoes, walking to the bathroom to get changed out of the fancy things you were wearing. You were out with your friends at a restaurant, all of you finally having enough time to go out together. You changed into something more comfortable, slipping on your comfort socks and do your skin care routine before walking to the living room. To say it was a mess was an understatement. There were some soda cand sprawled out in the middle of the floor, blankets thrown here and there when you notice a sleeping Joost on the coach. You smile softly, picking the mess up and folding the blankets. You weren’t mad, it wasn’t like he pulled something like this every single day. He must’ve had his own night..in. You sit down next to him, running a hand through his blonde hair, scratching his scalp, careful not to hurt him.
He moved around slightly, moving his hands to hold onto your waist. “Mm.. how was your day?” He asked groggily, barely even awake. You tell him about your day, talking his ear off before you felt him getting up, tired eyes meeting yours. You smile softly at him, Joost leaning in for a kiss. The kiss was sweet, a bit sloppy since you were a bit tipsy since you had a few drinks with your friends, but not drunk, while Joost was again, half awake. He cupped your cheek, pulling you in so you were on his lap, lazily slipping his tongue into your mouth. He rested his hands on your waist, your hands tangled in his messy blonde hair before pulling away for a breath.
You smiled softly at him, kissing his nose before going to get something but he pulled you back down, wrapping his arms around you and hiding in the crook of your neck, leaving gentle kisses one your soft skin. “Stay..” He mumbles, clinging to you and kisses up your neck, to your jaw.
You chuckle, kissing the side of his head. “Joost, I forgot to shower let go.” You say, kind of desperate to take a warm bath. He grumbles, mumbling; “You can do that with me.” He practically doesn’t even ask, probably just giving you a heads up which was funny. You slipped into the bath, sighing as the hot water hit your skin. He quickly joined you, sitting so his back wss facing you. You lightly scratched his back, washing his soft blonde hair. You leave small kisses on his back, Joost leaning into your touch. You left the bath, changing back into your pyjamas. You fix yourself up in the mirror before getting picked up by Joost, your legs instictavely wrapping around his waist. He kisses your nose and carries you to bed, sinking into the covers while clinging to you like a leech. He put a hand under your shirt, drawing all kinds of shapes on your stomach as he tangled your legs together. You brushed the hair out of his face, listening to the horror movie playing in the backround you almost forgot about. Soft snores echoed in the room, smiling at him you finally turn off the TV and decide to sleep aswell, comfortable in your partners arms.
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╰┈➤ ⋆｡‧˚ʚ 🐦 ɞ˚‧｡⋆
#joost klein requests#joost klein#joost klein x reader#joost klein fanfiction#joost klein x y/n#joostice for joost#stand with joost#justice for joost#joostice#free joost#joost klein x you#joost fanart#joost x reader#eurovision#eurovision x reader#eurovision fanfiction#eurovision requests
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My demons' periods cycles. By Mc
Note: these are purely my headcanons at the moment, they are based on animal ethology and behaviours that I think would suit each character depending on their personality and Lore. I would love to read your headcanon in case you have them.
Warning: Long text. Possible grammatical errors. It's written as if Mc was writing for themself.
Hey, it me Mc, the best human. Here is a compilation of the behaviours of my demons during their periods, cycles, for practical day to day use. It wasn't easy but I sat them down and got to talk to them, with a little effort I now know what they need. So now I am ready to assist them during these complicated times and be prepared in case I find a dead goat on the porch as a tribute.
Lucifer, Mammon & Levi || Satan, Asmo, & Beel || Belphie, Barbatos & Diavolo || Simeon & Raphael
Lucifer
Light does not bother him, but he rarely sleeps during its periods.
During his cycle his wings are filled with new feathers, to make them more noticeable and showy, many are small and iridescent.
His horns are also covered with iridescent scales.
He's constantly preening his wings, and they are always stretched to their fullest extent (Be prepared to be plucking feathers off your head for months)
The more feathers the better health (The stress of everyday life affects his plumage at this time so if at any time you see it scarce don't tell him :()
Unlike what you might think his nest is not in his bedroom but in secret rooms in the HOL.
Peacocks build their nests by making holes in the floor, Lucifer simulates that feeling by making a nest with high walls (good luck trying to get in and out) .
During his cycle he becomes very territorial and protective over his chicks (his siblings) and his mate (Interestingly Satan has woken up in the nest the most times over time, followed by Belphie)
He doesn't go outside his territory (the house), he feels a strong need to protect the fort (so all RAD paperwork falls on this sheep) .
Lucifer has a pre-heat period which is when he starts to grow new feathers, he eats a lot more and stores some food.
During the cycle he hardly eats, for that he has been accumulating energy ( you have to insist and feed him yourself so that he doesn't end up weakened after the cycle) .
He can talk normally, although when someone outside his family approaches a guttural sound comes out of his throat as a warning.
He produces very strong pheromones, but does not mark with them because there is no need (No one will dare steal what belongs to him)
Although physical contact soothes him, don't rub him if you don't see him relax, especially his wings. Let him initiate the contact.
He's always on guard since he does not sleep. But don't want that his brothers see him in his period.
His main way of courtship is to show off, so to get him to let you live, flatter him, tell him how beautiful his wings are or how majestic he is.
It's funny because sometimes he'll expect you to court him back (I don't have wings Luci, I can't do it) .
His senses are uniformly heightened. Nothing gets out of his control. (Good luck going to the toilet)
His body temperature rises (prepare light clothing, more than for him for you, you're going to need it)
Does he purr? Yes, although it's more like the sounds certain birds make before they sing. It is difficult to hear >:(.
During the cycle his anxiety is accentuated.
Normally demons end up exhausted after their cycle, but because he is so proud he doesn't let you take care of him, and he ends up much worse off.
Mc: So the nest is important?
Lucifer: Very important, yes.
Mc: Essential?
Lucifer: Yes
Mc: … *thoughtful* Are you going to let me leave the house?
Lucifer: No.
Mc: And from your nest?
Lucifer: No.
Mc: …. Let's buy cervical pillows then
Lucifer: *grinning*
Mc: So if I forced you, will you eat?
Lucifer: I think it's possible.
Mc: *grinning * And how do I do it with a spoon or mouth to mouth like the chicks?
Lucifer: *blushing * You… don't make me regret having told you all this
Mc: *half asleep* Everyone is sleeping.
Lucifer: *watching them in the dark with his eyes shining*
Mc: Everything is in order *trying to climb the nest*
Lucifer: *picking them up and lifting them to the nest* … *purring*
Mc: Now, now, let's try to sleep…*still half asleep* you are warm.
Lucifer: *covering them with his wings* Rests Mc.
Mammon
He can stand the light but doesn't like it, during these periods he has a reduced sleep schedule.
During his period he feathers, these feathers help him to be more aerodynamic.
He needs to groom them but as he normally doesn't have that many he is terrible at it (So be prepared to give him a hand) .
He nests, but like crows he does it high up, (make sure you prepare a hanging platform on the second floor of his room or he will end up nesting on the roof) .
Unlike Lucifer, he goes out almost every day, looking for small prey or presents. And don't care if his brothers see him in his period.
During his cycle his obsession for shiny things is accentuated, they don't have to be valuable, just shiny: stones, crystals, metals, floors or polished surfaces (thanks for the idea)…
He is a collector and will bring these objects to the nest.
Mammon is not overly territorial, he doesn't expect his parnert to be in the nest for 24 hours either, but when he comes back from his outings please be there or he will panic. Last time the house almost burned down.
He produces pheromones, and he will only use it on his mate.
He does not have a pre-heat, but you can identify that he's approaching his period by her lack of attention (more than usual).
Mammon eats throughout his cycle, more than usual, mostly meat, but also certain grains and seeds that his relatives collect for him.
He will want to feed you and you will want to feed him. You can't get away from that, you just can't.
His pupils dilate and constrict in an exaggerated manners. And his eyes shine in dark.
Although he talks, he prefers to communicate by squawking and growling.
However, when he is affectionate mood mainly with taps and caresses.
During the cycle he becomes very needy of physical touch, at sleeping, eating and grooming times he must always be skin to skin. Stroke him between the wings or plumage and he will start to purr.
He is happy for you to initiate contact, he doesn't mind if you do it whenever you want.
He sleeps curled up on his companion.
Does he purr? Yes, like his brother it's a similar sound to certain birds, but it's easy to make him purr (pretty much whenever you pay attention to him)
And you always have to pay attention to him.
His form of courtship is to bring you gifts, where did you get coins, pretty stones, luminescent flowers … you can not refuse these gifts or he'll cry (however give a stone or a coin and will not leave the nest in hours, he will think that you have reciprocated the courtship and will be happy)
His senses are sharpened especially his hearing and sight, he can see for miles, there is no threat that escapes him, that is why he is able to leave the territory so much.
He is more honest than usual, if he wants you to hug him he will tell you straight out.
Mammon: *trying that mc eat a leg of an unidentified animal*
Mc: No- NO!, youuuu stay baaaack
Mammon: *grunt*
Mc: *giving him part of their bread * take it
Mammon: *with pupils dilate* Oh *happy bird noises*
Mc: *holding back laughter*
Mammon: Farther to the left
Mc: Here?
Mammon: *stretching his wings higher*
Mc: Here?
Mammon: *purrs*
Mc: How the hell did you preen your feathers before?
Mammon: *curled next to Mc holding tightly a monopoly coin*
Mc: *smiling while stroking his feathers*
Mammon: Love you...
Mc: So your period makes you soft…I wish you were always as honest.
Levi
Nocturnal, light bothers him and can hurt his eyes.
During his period he sleeps more than usual (although he should sleep more often).
His scales cover his whole body and become more colorful. And his horns grow new branches.
He does not need as much grooming as other types of demons, but he needs constant humidity.
During his period the bathtub in his bedroom is full, but sometimes a humidifier is enough.
However during the final part of his period he needs to be totally submerged (so be prepared to go diving)
During this phase Lucifer puts a spell on him to track him. Because his envy can lead him to hide in the deepest pit of the ocean.
Some snakes nest, but most do not, so Levi's safe place during his period is under a pile of blankets, thin cloths and other things (like a burrow).
Since Levi is Levi, you have to make sure to give him wet towels every so often to moisten his body.
Levi is very territorial but he is more elusive and prefers to hide, his insecurity increases and there is no way to get him out of his burrow ( make sure he hydrates because it wouldn't be the first time he gets sick)
He doesn't eat much during his cycle, and if he does it has to be raw, but he has poor hunting skills, guess whose turn it is to take care of this?
Although the final phase of the period (Underwater) Lotan often takes care of finding nutritious prey for him.
When sleeping he wraps his tail around your body, first because you are a source of warmth and second because you are you.
Levi becomes partially non-verbal, he uses a lot of hisses and grunts. After two days they can be easily identified.
He likes physical contact, but he is the one who has to initiate it. (Touch him without his permission and be prepared to search for him in the depths of the Devildom water bodies).
Levi's courtship occurs underwater.
First he shows off, where all his scales glow many colors, this is indicative of health (as Levi does not have a very healthy diet or routine, his color could be better, but we won't tell him that)
And in the second instance it gives a single stone of sea crystals.
The sense that develops the most is the sense of touch and hearing. His skin becomes super sensitive so he can only wear certain types of clothing. And excessive friction hurts him.
His body temperature decreases a lot, more and more as the period progresses because he can not thermoregulate ( that's why he needs to be submerged and that's why you will wake up underwater)
Does Levi purr? Of course, when you talk to him or when he is embarrassed.
After his cycle he will need several days to look you in the eye again.
Levi: *sad hiss*
Mc: I'm telling you that your scales are very pretty.
Levi: *self-deprecating hiss*
Mc: No, I'm not just saying this... but if it really makes you feel bad, starting tomorrow you're going to eat more protein.
Levi: *hiss of indignation* >:0
Mc: Levi, I bring you the food!! Levi?
Mc: *looking for him in the burrow* Levi?
Levi: *poking his head over the bath water*
Mc: There you are… Ah! The humidifier has turned off!!
Levi: *grabbing their sleeve*
Mc: *sighing* we have to be more attentive…. *getting into the bathtub* but now you have to eat.
Underwater
Mc: Who had said that automating a spell would save my life.
Levi: *snuggled next to them with his tail wrapped around their body*
Mc: Are you confortable Levi?
Levi: *nodding*
Mc: Good, love u.
If you have made it this far, thank you very much 🩷
#obey me#obey me! shall we date?#obey me headcanons#obey me imagines#Obey me periods#obey me shall we date#obey me mc#omswd#lucifer obey me#mammon obey me#levi obey me#leviathan obey me#obey me mammon#obey me lucifer#omswd lucifer#omswd mammon#omswd leviathan#om! mammon#om! lucifer#om! leviathan#om! mc
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PR nightmare | oscar piastri
pairing: oscar piastri x singer!reader
summary: yn is a walking PR nightmare. let’s watch her get into her first relationship.
— y/n has posted new pictures!
liked by mclaren, f1, yourbrother, and 737,938 others!
yourusername: my manger told me to tell you guys that the illuminati is NOT real and i was just joshing around !! 😂😂👍👍
view comments below !
user1: ugh this is SO BELIEVABLE
user2: I WAS WAITING FOR THIS POST
user3: yeah let’s all ignore the “i wrote songs about an f1 driver!!!!”
user4: the pictures 😭😭
yourmomsuser: pic credits?
yourusername: you’re like 60 why do you know what pic credits are ??
user5: the illuminati is totally real
mclaren: 👀
yourusername: NO THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING PLS LOOK AWAY
user6: no offense, but how did you stumble across F2 oscar ???
yourusername: my brother is like a HUGE f1, 2, AND 3 nerds and he always forced me to watch races with him 😖😖
yourbrothersuser: you literally ask me to tell you when oscar’s back on the screen ???
yourusername: okay kill yourself ????
yourbrothersuser: @/yourmomsuser
yourusername: GOD YOU ARE SUCH A SNITCH
ynupdates: y/n and her brother; jacob, were seen at the airport earlier today, she later posted the picture on the right, on her story, confirming that she is in fact traveling. y/n has no shows coming up, and she rarely travels with jacob. thoughts?
view comments below!
user7: guys guys..the monaco grand prix in literally in two days.
user8: SHES GOING TO THE GRAND PRIX. I KNOW IT.
user9: why’s her brother kinda ??
user10: you can’t even see his face 😭😭 ??
user9: I CAN JUST TELL
user11: everyone saying she’s going to the grand prix are like getting my hopes up ???????
user12: WATCH HER GO SOMEWHERE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT 😭😭
user13: okay guys..but we never talked about what songs could be about oscar 🥲
user14: IVE DONE SO MUCH THINK ABOUT THIS !!!
user13: GIRL PLEASE TELL
user14: OKAY OKAY!! one that REALLY stands out to me is “my love mine all mine” because, we all know y/n has never had a boyfriend before, SO when she writes love songs, obviously people speculate that she’s in a relationship
user14: WHEN SHE WAS ASKED ABOUT THE INSPIRATION FOR “my love mine all mine” she said “i sadly do not have a boyfriend yet. but there is someone i’ve had my eye on for some time..” SHE COULD HAVE BEEN TALKING ABOUT OSCAR AND WE DIDNT EVEN NOTICE
user15: istg if y/n doesn’t show up in the paddock tomorrow, i will throw a fit.
liked by mclaren, f1, yourbrother, and 837,938 others!
yourusername: i could tell you where i am and what im doing, but its funny reading the theories
view comments below !
user15: are you going to a secret illuminati meeting
user16: pls y/n pls just tell us
user17: this is cruel AND YOU KNOW IT
user18: pls lord, let y/n go to the monaco grand prix 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
user19: there’s no way she ISNT going to the grand prix, i mean she’s with her brother, and he’s literally like the biggest f1 fan ever ?? why else would they be traveling together
user20: maybe they’re traveling together because they’re siblings 😭 it doesn’t have to connect to f1
yourbrothersuser: y/n pls put the phone done. i need a good nights rest for tomorrow.
user21: TOMORROW ???? IS ??? THE ???? GRAND ??? PRIX ??? ARE ???? YOU ??? GUYS ???? GOING ????
ynupdates: it seems like the rumors are true! y/n and jacob are currently at the grand prix!
view comments below!
user22: I FUCKING KNEW IT
user23: everyone knew it…
user24: WHOO CAREEESSS oscar and y/n interaction WHEN ???
user25: ugh i NEED grid x y/n interactions RN
user26: y/n this, oscar that. WHAT I NEED IS TO SEE Y/NS BROTHER MEET MAX
user27: omg can you imagine how happy he is rn ☹️
— mclaren has posted new photos!
liked by yourusername, f1, yourbrother, landonorris, oscarpiastri and 837,938 others!
mclaren: monaco was a dream! thank you y/n for joining us 🧡
view comments below!
user28: I SHOULVE BEEN THERE. I COULDVE MET Y/N. THAT SHOULDVE BEEN ME.
yourusername: thank you for having me 🧡
user29: okay now make oscar and y/n kiss
yourbrothersuser: thank you for making my dream come true 🙏🙏
redbullracing: @/yourusername our garage next
yourusername: i think @/yourbrothersuser would enjoy that more then i ever could
redbullracing: he’s always welcome to join 💙
yourbrothersuser: AHHHHHH OMG OMG
user30: okay now more grid x y/n content
user31: the wya this became like a meet and greet for y/n was INSANE
user32: who would’ve thought there would be so many y/n fans at a F1 race ???
user33: everyone’s a y/n l/n fan.
— y/n has uploaded new photos !
yourusername: do you think he’ll try weed with me now that he’s my boyfriend?
view comments below !
user34: EXCUSE ME BOYFRIEND ????
user35: OMG Y/N GOT HER FIRST BOYFRIEND!! AHHHHH
user36: OSCAR AND Y/N ??? HELL YEAH
user37: okay let’s just pretend that doesn’t say what it says
yourmanger: y/n please change that caption.
yourusername: i don’t know how ☹️
user38: WHO CARES ABOUT THE CAPTION !!! Y/N AND OSCAR SHIPPERS RISE
mclaren: in case that caption isn’t a joke, y/n please refrain from getting our drivers high.
yourusername: YOU GUYS ARE NO FUN 😞😞
user39: i love how public y/n is. like she genuinely acts like she doesn’t have millions of followers
oscarpiastri: love i already told you, we cant get high.
yourusername: YOU WOULD IF YOU LOVED ME.
maxverstappen1: i’ll get high with you y/n 🙋
redbullracing: no you will not.
authors note: do you guys consider my page easy to navigate? i’ve been trying to make it as easy as possible, any input will help, thank you for reading :)
#oscar piastri fluff imagine#oscar piastri social media au#oscar piastri smau#oscar piastri x y/n#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri imagine#oscar piastri#oscar piastri x reader#f1 x reader#f1 x female reader#f1 x y/n#f1 social media au#f1 drabble#f1 fluff#f1 x you#f1 imagine#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1
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hi hiii its my first time ever asking anyone idk how this works ( ;｀Д´)
i rlly love your writing, i often find myself staying up late reading through your blogs!! funny bcs u were the one who got me into jason todd (ФωФ)
anyways!!! i was hoping you could pls pls pls pls plssssss write smth about Jason Todd who has a lover thats a sleep-deprived uni student having a hell week and jason is like "bitch put google docs down and get some sleep, ur ass has been awake for 48 hours" all worried and wanting them to rest and reader is like "correction, 50 hours."
i hope it makes sense (´ 3｀)
tyyyyy!!! woopee woopee
Sorry this took so long to get to anon, I hope you liked it either way. And don’t stay up too late reading fics but I truly appreciate you reading my stuff, I’m glad you like them 🦦🐿️
A week.
An entire week Jason had noticed you have been forcing yourself to stay up at the dead of night, glued to your laptop all the while chugging energy drinks and cups of coffee as though they were going out of style, and for what? An assignment that determined your future at uni should you not get straight marks.
Jason thought it ridiculous that you made yourself sleep deprived over this but he knew that if he didn’t do anything about it, then you’ll continue this habit until you were well out of university, struggling to come to terms that you had well and truly burnt yourself out before you could properly start living.
So when Jason couldn’t fell you next to him in bed one night, like you promised him you would, and groaned as he got himself out of bed before making his way towards the kitchen where he’d knew you’d be.
‘What time do you call this?’ Jason asked when he saw you in your usual spot at the kitchen counter, hunched over your laptop with a thin blanket frapped over your shoulders and a can of energy drink on one side of the laptop and a cup of coffee on the other side. He hated what this stupid university has made you do just in order to get good grades, it was harmful, damaging and it would inevitably lead to health complications later on in life; If he could Jason would more then gladly march down there and threaten the professors to stop shoving a boatload of work onto their students, but firstly he has to get you away from that damn laptop and learn how to take a fucking break.
‘Mid-afternoon?’ You asked, not looking up from the bright screen of your laptop, where the words scrawled across it in an incoherent mess for your overworked brain to comprehend.
‘It’s actually 3:30 in the morning.’ Jason replied unamused as he crossed his arms over his chest and you winced when you saw that he was indeed right about it being three thirty in the morning. ‘Don’t you think it’s time that you shut the laptop off and get some sleep?’
‘But I-‘
‘Actually sleep.’ Jason cuts you off as you slumped back into your chair, unable to come up with a decent enough response to defend yourself with because deep down you knew Jason was right, you’ve hadn’t had a decent sleep in a long while and it was definitely taking it’s toll with how lightheaded you’ve become as of late.
You sighed and ran your hands down your face. ‘Jason I can’t, I’ve got-‘
‘An assignment to complete for tomorrow I know.’ Jason cuts you off again as he crossed the room to put his hand over the top of your coffee cup upon noticing that you were intending to take another drink from it. ‘But I look at you and can tell you can barely keep your eyes open for more than five minutes.’ He adds and upon your silence, he puts the cup aside as far as he could before doing the same with the half empty energy drink, and then finally shutting the laptop close despite your weak protests for him not to.
‘No, Jason my assignment, I need to finish it.’ You told him with slow, sluggish movements as you tried to pry his hand off of your laptop, all the while biting back a yawn. ‘Just give me five more minutes please and I’ll come to bed, promise.’
Jason had enough of this habit of sleepless nights, it ends now, the professors will have to understand and extend the due date for your sake as he remembered how often you had harped on about how important this assignment was for your overall grade; However Jason didn’t take neglecting your bodily needs lightly and would prioritise that over anything else,you could hate him all you wanted but he was only looking out for you and your wellbeing.
‘Sorry chipmunk but I can’t watch you do this to yourself for any longer than I already have.’ Was all Jason said as he then lifted you out of your chair suddenly causing you to yelp in surprise and cling onto him for dear life, now being more awake then you ever have been five minutes ago, as he then proceeded to carry you back towards the bedroom before unceremoniously dropping you onto the bed.
‘Jason, I seriously needed to get that assignment-‘
‘We are going to sleep, end of discussion.’ Jason said with finality as he crawled under the covers and quickly held you against his chest as tightly as he could, rubbing his hands up and down your back soothingly. ‘I know how important this assignment was for you sweetheart but I’d much rather have you well rested, clear minded and healthy than to ever to have you pass out in my arms from exhaustion. I want my baby happy and healthy and you are neither of those things right now.’ Jason whispers into your ear, kissing the side of your head a couple of times before resting his forehead against yours so that he was looking into your weary half lidded eyes.
‘Look at you, you can barely keep your eyes open.’ He spoke with worry laced in his words.
‘You’re really warm and comfy jay birdie.’ You murmured, feeling the need for sleep grow ever stronger the longer you stayed in his arms as it fogged your mind.
‘I know, so please we can talk to the professor in the morning and sort something out, but until then no more late nights understand?’ Jason said firmly as he held you a little tighter, he just wanted you to get a decent nights sleep and be looked after properly but all these late nights weren’t cutting it and were making your situation worse, how were you meant to get anything done when you were half out of it due to overworking and lack of a sleep schedule? Were the professors at your university thinking they were teaching robots instead of humans with breaking limits?
‘Okay I understand, I love you.’ You replied sleepily as you burrowed your head into his neck, falling asleep in record time as Jason stayed awake a little longer as to make sure you were properly asleep before following suit, watching over you in the dream realm as he did the waking one.
#dc imagine#dc x reader#dc x you#dc fanfic#dc fic#dc comics x reader#dc x y/n#dc fanfiction#jason todd imagine#jason todd fluff#jason todd x reader#jason todd imagines#red hood x you#red hood imagine#red hood x reader#red hood imagines
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hey guess what. it's finally time for my Stardew Valley Loredump. i’m about to ramble about my farmer and yo-yo/yoba and shane in a probably long-ass, disjointed post because i have a problem ok. not expecting anyone to read it all of course—just want to finally write these brainstorming shenanigans down. the loredump will be below the cut below the image 👇 (WARNING: IT'S LONG):
SAMUEL IZAWA:
*samuel is 28 years old, pan, japanese okinawan (no im not self projecting hahaha), and goes by he/they. main thing is that they’re from “our world” where stardew valley is a video game, but he died and ended up in the stardew universe. because i think isekai tropes are fun and silly. as the player, samuel can do things others in the stardew world can’t do, such as:
summon the in-game HUD that’s only visible to him, so he can see health/energy levels and inventory and all that.
speaking of inventory, it’s essentially a pocket dimension samuel can shove stuff in. the inventory doesn’t really care about size/weight/etc as long as it’s something the system considers an “item.” so like samuel can put a whole ass four poster bed in there but he can’t do that to a person or a whole house. samuel just needs to touch the item to make it disappear into his inventory. he can then summon it back out when he needs it. the game’s inventory limit system remains the same. samuel gets 12 slots on their own, but if they have a bag on them it increases to 36.
can access the player menu you can normally access in game. so like profile, skills, collections, relationships, etc are all there. no options or quit tab though. having the relationship tab is a nightmare for samuel, who has major insecurities about what people think of him. that tab is a quantifiable measure on how much people like him. it a real brain demon for him to know it exists and is right there for him to access anytime.
can see the “stats” of food and healing items. hp/energy recovery amounts, buffs, etc.
*funny thing is that samuel has never played SDV himself and only has knowledge based on what he’s heard and seen online secondhand. ironically he was planning on playing the game for the first time before the whole dying thing ruined it. they can’t even remember how they died, but it doesn’t bother them as much as they think it should. they didn’t leave much behind in that life.
*anyway, i’m talking a lot of game terms here, but don’t get it twisted. while samuel has all these game systems going on, the SDV world is very much a real one that doesn’t normally work by that logic. by that i mean time flows normally like in our world and there isn’t just 4 months in a year. things exist outside the valley. there’s a whole planet of places and people.
*luckily samuel has help in navigating this new world in the form of yo-yo the junimo, who is the first living thing samuel sees when he first wakes up in that joja cubicle. yo-yo helps explain a lot of things and guide samuel around in its own abrasive way. he’s also there to be like, “hey i gave you a second chance at life so you kinda owe me actually. sign this contract.” and samuel, who is a pushover and also confused, is just like, “ok.” (yo-yo sounds like danny devito btw. because i think it’s funny.)
*i call the contract a “magical girl contract” because that’s essentially what it is. samuel gets access to extra powers/abilities on top the stuff he can already do as a player. in return he fights monsters n shit for yo-yo and generally does things for them that they can’t do easily on their own. the extra benefits include:
higher pain tolerance. which isn’t always a good thing. especially when you tend to not be great with self-preservation like samuel is.
can heal most injuries by just eating/drinking stuff to regain hp.
yo-yo can teleport the both of them around as needed, but it’s tiring and it drains a lot of magic. distance matters too.
yo-yo can spawn items but it drains magic as well. the more valuable/rare the item, the more draining it is. spawning items is already a magic-intensive thing in the first place. also yo-yo isn’t creating the item out of nothing. they’re actually randomly taking it from wherever it already exists in the world. for example, say yo-yo “spawns” a jar of pickles. somebody in the world is going to open their fridge and discover their jar of pickles is missing or maybe a grocery store will have a sudden empty spot on its shelf. yo-yo doesn’t have control of where the items are taken from (or so they claim).
samuel and yo-yo’s magic pools became connected so they can both do more than they could do on their own before. this is one of the reasons why yo-yo wanted a contract with samuel, who has a larger magic pool than normal due to being from another world. but it’s possible for one side to use up all the magic for the both of them.
*samuel’s personality can be summed up as Awkward People-Pleasing Tired Sad Garbage Dork. either he’s dressed like a grandparent in sweaters and turtlenecks or he’s wearing a button up shirt with the collar undone and jeans. they usually have their neck covered in public to hide the mark of yoba embedded there. he has a “resting bitch face” as some may call, but that’s just because his brain is busy over-analyzing 193828 different things. he loves being outside in the grass and dirt, looking at bugs n shit. he’s also a nerd who likes to play video games and ramble about the lore in them (he likes RPGs the most, but if the game’s got a good story and cool world, he’s into it). they like to do things with their hands like model building/painting. in their new stardew life, they get into woodcarving after willy teaches them the basics (he carves shane a little chicken).
*samuel does NOT know how to say “no.” absolute pushover. their self-worth is based on how much they’re liked by others, which isn’t healthy obviously. he has a fear that the only way he can be liked is by being useful. he’s scared that he is inherently a bad and selfish person, because he can’t say for sure if he’s helping others purely out of kindness or because it just makes him feel better about existing. deep down there’s anger/frustration that’s accumulated over the years, anger towards himself and also others because he’s always doing things for other people—going above and beyond—but it never feels like enough. at the same time though, they hate it when these thoughts come up because they believe that you shouldn’t go into helping somebody expecting that you’ll get something out of it. he hates how much of a hypocrite he is. he hates how he bases so much of his self-worth on the opinions of others, but feels helpless to it. they usually just push these emotions down because samuel feels guilty about them. how can they be a good person if they’re thinking like this? how can they deserve to exist with this mindset? however they get a chance to let out the anger/bitterness/frustration through fighting monsters. kind of disassociating in a way. this also isn’t a good thing because his demeanor is much colder and scarier during combat. having someone who’s felt powerless for so long suddenly gain power is a dangerous thing.
*this mindset when monster fighting shatters when samuel meets krobus and realizes that monsters aren’t just the simple enemy NPCs their brain had been automatically categorizing them as. guilt galore. he gets real depressed about that for a while but yo-yo, krobus, and shane are there to help him.
*SPEAKING OF SHANE… it’s crush at first sight for samuel because hot damn is shane their type. i mean just look at him. mamma mia. haha anyyyway, they first meet at the stardrop saloon. samuel’s waiting at the bar for his to-go order near where shane is drinking. shane’s looking sad, so samuel gives in and decides they’ll start a convo to maybe distract him from whatever’s bothering him. samuel employs the “crack a dumb joke to hide the fact that i’m nervous because i’m talking to a hot person and then use that opening to introduce myself” strat. shane, being an asshole, is like, “oh so you’re the new farmer. here’s a tip: don’t bother me.” samuel takes 999 damage and their brain immediately goes “THIS IS MY FAULT I FUCKED UP like who wants to be talked to by a stranger when they’re sad goddammit why am i so bad at this?!!” it’s overall not a great first impression. after that, samuel tries to avoid shane out of embarrassment, but circumstances keep making them run into each other. for instance, samuel works a lot with marnie with her being a mentor figure to him in animal husbandry, so he and shane have a lot of opportunity to interact through that (plus marnie is secretly trying to get them closer to each other). through these meetings and shenanigans, samuel and shane get to know each other better until one day they’re friends. then good friends. then best friends. then kiss friends. then marry friends. :)
YOBA (A.K.A. YO-YO):
*yo-yo is ????? years old and goes by any pronouns but most of the time it's it/they.
*yo-yo is actually THE yoba, but they’re not the completely benevolent creator-of-all-things humans have made them out to be. maybe they were in the past, but now they’re selfish and rude and swear a lot. but they do still care, even if they don’t admit it (tsundere-ass). yoba is currently stuck in the form of a little junimo and is substantially weakened because it gave too much of itself away to the world in the past and got burned for it. because the world kept taking and taking. and now there’s war and pollution and shit and yoba/yo-yo is maybe just a teensy tiny bit angry and bitter now. but it’s ok because now they got this human from another reality to help them reclaim the pieces of itself. and maybe along the way relearn how to love the world again.
*oh also yoba didn’t create the whole planet like the creation story claims. they’re technically an alien that came across a young planet full of life and decided to stay and help it develop.
*main reason yo-yo made a contract with samuel is because it needs help finding/reclaiming the pieces of itself. pieces can usually be found in strong monsters empowered by the piece. this isn’t always the case though. sometimes it’s in an ancient artifact. sometimes it’s in a specific place like a temple. sometimes it’s in a person.
*samuel doesn’t have to deal with having an existential crisis about yo-yo, since he’s from our world where yoba doesn’t even exist as a god. yo-yo claims to be the one responsible for bringing samuel over into the stardew universe, but there are holes in their story. where did yoba even find the power to do such a thing when they’re in such a weakened state? mysterious.
*the first time yoba reveals itself to shane is kind of chaotic. it’s in the middle of the night when yo-yo suddenly appears in shane’s room, grabs his face with its little stick arms and yells, “WAKE UP!!! YOUR BOYFRIEND IS IN MORTAL PERIL!!!” shane is like, “WHAT THE F–”
it was an act of desperation on yo-yo’s part, because samuel was in trouble and shane was the only one it could think of going to for help. essentially samuel meets something Bad in the deep mines, something that takes him out of commission and puts him in a trance state while draining his lifeforce. y’know, the classic kind of trance state where you need to figure out how to get the person back–how to snap them out of it. yo-yo tried and failed, so that’s where shane comes in. it’s the classic “love-interest-breaks-main-character-out-of-mind-control-with-sheer-power-of-love” trope. except shane does punch samuel during it. lovingly. in the face. hey it works ok.
after the chaos is over and everyone’s safe and gathered together, samuel and yo-yo explain everything to shane (well more like samuel explains everything while yo-yo wishes outloud that they had their memory erasing powers back). shane, who is canonically an atheist, learns that this talking pottymouthed jerkass apple is actually THE yoba and is just like, “yeah. this might as well happen.” and then he remains atheist because what else are you going to do when you learn that god is a talking pottymouthed jerkass apple who calls you a bitch and is also responsible for your partner having to go do dangerous shit. he and yo-yo have a rocky relationship at first to say the least. but once they both realize how much the other cares about samuel, things get a little better.
*yeah, yoba may be a bitch and they may be angry and they may be bitter, but they really do care, even if they try to convince themselves otherwise. even though so much got taken from it, it still cares about humans and dwarves and shadow people and everything else on the planet. and when it eventually comes down to it, yoba will step up to protect what it loves, even if it means losing everything again.
SHANE FINCH:
*this post was technically supposed to just be about my farmer and yo-yo’s lore and stuff, but i gotta give some personal headcanons i have about shane… like for instance his last name is “finch.” because i thought the bird theme was cute. he’s 29 years old, bi, and half asian, half white (in our world that asian half is korean). i’m not being specific because i don’t know if korea even exists in the stardew world, since all we know in the game is that there’s a “ferngill republic” and a “gotoro empire.” i was thinking of just headcanoning that stardew’s planet is essentially the same as earth. so like most of the same countries/nations exist except the history diverged a bit along the way, leading to the ferngill republic and gotoro empire. OK SORRY for the tangent—back on topic.
*so shane is a trans man who started transitioning back in high school. he had two best friends who were very supportive and really helped him on his journey to figure himself out. those two friends were like family to him. it was good that he had this support because his parents were always pretty shitty and shane transitioning just made them act even shittier. the only good family member of shane’s is marnie, who was supportive, but she lived far away, was busy, AND wasn’t on good terms with her sister (shane’s mom), so shane didn’t get to see her much.
*the moment shane became a legal adult, he got away from his parents, finding a place with his two best friends and moving in together. oh and his friends’ names were rosa and heath. should’ve probably mentioned that earlier oops.
shane, rosa, and heath go to the same college together, suffer student loans, graduate, etc. haven’t thought of what shane would get a degree in yet—most likely something “generic” because he’s unsure of what he wants to do himself (i feel u bby).
*ok so rosa and heath were dating since high school, but they were so comfortable with shane and vice versa that things never got that awkward living together. however when rosa and heath got married (“yoba, FINALLY,” shane would say), shane felt like it was time to find his own place, much to the devastation of his bffs. the apartment ended up close to where rosa and heath lived of course—the couple made sure of it (“stop backseating my apartment hunting!” “MAKE US”).
*rosa and heath get pregnant and have a healthy baby girl that they name jasmine. i headcanon jas as black (from heath’s side) and portuguese (rosa’s side). everyone is thrilled about the baby. shane was immediately offered godfather role and he happily accepted. jas was the cutest baby ever and he adored her. he babysat jas all the time.
*jas was 4 years old when rosa and heath tragically passed away in a car accident. they were coming home from a business dinner when they lost control of their car on some black ice and slid into oncoming traffic. shane was babysitting jas when he got the call. in the span of one cold winter night, shane and jas’s world shattered.
*rosa and heath didn’t have any reliable relatives either. those relatives only came to take the money and belongings. shane was the only one jas had, so he adopted her. he tried his best to pick up the pieces. he really did. he lasted for a year trying to raise a kid on his own with the salary of a dead-end job, but he knew the situation wasn’t good with the money and how much his mental health was spiraling. he knew he and jas were in dire need of more support (“jas deserves better than this”). so he turned to the one person he had left to rely on: his aunty marnie. and that’s how shane and jas ended up in pelican town.
*shane’s joja jacket was actually originally rosa’s. rosa worked as an accountant for joja and would get free promotional items all the time from the company. the jacket was one of the only things she actually ended up using because “it’s pretty comfy for being joja bs.” she would wear it all the time, much to her more fashion-conscious husband’s chagrin (yet he would patch up any holes she’d get in it anyway). after rosa died, shane kept her jacket. there were a lot of memories in it.
~~~
ok that’s it for now. if anyone actually read all that, thank you for even wasting your time to process my ramblings. i’m sorry it’s so fucking long like jfc.
*who is mr. qi?
#stardew valley#stardew valley shane#stardew valley farmer#sdv shane#sdv farmer#sdv yoba#ocs#long post#loredump
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So like,,,,,
Imagine if Bi-han and readsr went on a mission, oh yeah things r going very well, but then they stumble on a place that has like woah magic potion, the reader just "hey wld it b funny if I dr-" "no", but then Bi-han wasnt looking and somehow they end up with a reader thats just, the size of his palm
The rest is up to u!
Love ur writings!!!
Pipsqueak
Prior notes: This would be something that would happen to me cause I keep trying to eat inedible things. I've been told to stop trying to eat my DND dice.
Pairing: Bi-Han x Gn reader
Warnings: Hehe you're so small
“Don’t touch anything.”
Bi-Han tells you that every time you go on a mission together. If he can’t have his brothers by his side then he usually picks you to come with him on a mission. Though you have a problem with being serious. You have a habit of making things comedic during serious moments like missions and briefings. You also have a weird habit of touching things that aren’t yours and putting them near your mouth. No one knows why you do it, neither do you. You must be lacking vitamins or something.
Whatever it is, it’s a hazard when you’re on missions. That’s why Bi-Han is always warning you about doing something stupid. It’s for your own good. You don’t know what could happen to you if you touched the wrong item or ingested something you shouldn’t have. The world you live in is a strange one, you never know.
So far, you’re acting right. Liu Kang sent you and Bi-Han out on a mission to investigate a possible rat in Earthrealm, aka a sorcerer. He warned you both to be careful which Bi-Han emphasized that point. He was right to do so.
When you both arrived at the suspected location there were walls filled with strange ingredients and hanging animal carcasses. Creepy. There were rows upon rows of colorful looking potions in wacky bottles. There was one potion in particular that caught your eye. It rested on a wooden desk with different ingredients surrounding it. It looked like whoever was brewing it was making more of a cocktail instead of a magical potion. Citrus peels, brown sugar, and finger lime caviar. It confused you so much that you didn’t take notice of the other potions that were being mixed into the strange concoction. You grabbed the potion that caught your eye, sniffing it and getting hit with that strong citrus smell. Its aroma was tempting you.
“Hey Bi-Han, wouldn’t it be funny if I dr-”
“No!” Bi-Han glared at you.
He motioned for you to put it back where you found it. You did as he said until he turned his back towards you. He started going off about how he wanted this mission to be over and he can’t risk any delays. You weren’t paying attention since your attention was on the potion. It just looked so pretty and smells as sweet as lemonade. It couldn’t hurt to take at least a lick of it. You placed your mouth near the bottle before leaning it up, the liquid flowed slowly to your tongue. You licked it up quickly. Hmm, it does taste like lemona-
Bi-Han heard a poof behind him. He swiftly turned around and saw a cloud of smoke that matched the color of the potion. Once the smoke cleared he tried his best to look for you. But when he looked down all he saw was you with the bottle trapping you inside. Ah geez, you’re small.
He stared in disbelief. It was clear what just happened. You didn’t obey your grandmaster.
“What did I tell you!” He yelled which sounded much louder to you since you were so tiny now.
You looked very guilty. Your head was lowered in shame. You looked up at Bi-Han with pleading eyes, begging him to get you out of the bottle. He has no choice, he has to. He picks up the bottle and begins to dump you out onto the palm of his hand.
You’re putting him in a difficult position right now. One wrong move and he could accidentally crush you. Or worse, even freeze you. You didn’t like this outcome. You look like you were on the verge of tears even though you were warned. He groaned as he contemplated what to do now. Should he abandon the mission and bring you back safely? Or should he march forward and try his best to keep you safe? He didn’t realize it but he was so lost in thought he didn’t hear you yelling at him.
“Please, have mercy!”
When he looked down he saw he was gripping you tightly. His thumb was rubbing the top of your head which messed with your hair. He opened his hands, allowing you to breathe. This situation was already sucking. This can’t go on; he has to bring you back. Maybe Lord Liu Kang can reverse this mess.
Bi-Han didn’t want to keep you in his hands just in case he needed to fight. The problem is he has nowhere else to put you. Each possible area he could put you in would possibly squeeze you. The only spot he could think of was…sigh. He raised you up before placing you at the top of his head.
“Just hold on tightly please.”
You listened this time. Too well actually. Your impulsive thoughts won and you ended up yanking a strand of his hair on the left side of his hair. You had your Ratatouille moment. He actually raised his arm just like the movie taught you! But he might have been doing it just to smack you for yanking.
“NOT THAT TIGHT!”
══💤══╡°˖✧🦊✧˖°╞══💤══
Getting a hold of Liu Kang was difficult. No one knew where he was or what he was doing. Not a good time for him to be MIA.
Believe it or not, Bi-Han was getting very worried about this situation. Having you as small as a rat made him worried about losing you. He was keeping you close to him at all times, not even allowing Tomas or Kuai Liang to poke you. In his eyes, you were as fragile as a glass animal now.
He kept you with him until someone could get a hold of Liu Kang. He kept you on his desk to keep a close eye on you. It felt like you were being treated like a child. Every time you moved close to the edge; Bi-Han would tense up before blocking you with his hands. He would drag you back by pinching the back of your uniform.
“Stay still. Are you trying to get yourself killed?” He asked.
Then he tried keeping you in a birdcage he so conveniently had. You wouldn’t stop moving! You were put in little creature jail for little creature crimes. Yup, you still wouldn’t listen. You would try climbing the sides before trying to squeeze yourself through. You thought you succeeded until your hips hit the bars. Bi-Han was about to lose it on you but if he yelled he might burst your eardrums. He tried pushing you back in but every time he would poke your face you would bite him because it was uncomfortable. He did not want to try your backside. He eventually had to break the cage a little to allow you to crawl out.
That didn’t work out in his favor, what else he got?
He placed you right in front of him with his arms surrounding you. It allowed him to continue doing his paperwork while keeping you in one place. If you tried to run past his hands he would smack you back. Try climbing up his arms and he would twitch his muscles to make you fall. Like a horse trying to get a fly off. Front is no good, sides are no good, you went with the back. You started climbing up his clothes. This was the last straw for Bi-Han. You were like a devious rat that couldn’t listen to its master.
He snatched you up before shoving you into his top. The multiple layers of his uniform were usually tight against his body but there was enough space to shove you into it. Your back was pressed up against his chest area which felt like a brick wall. You tried to scramble out of there but the clothes were pressing you tight like a weighted blanket. You were tucked in nicely against your will. You struggled and struggled until you tired yourself out. You don’t have much fight left in you which was fine by Bi-Han. It was a long day already and that little fight you put up drained you out. You started to succumb to the comfort that enveloped you. It was no use, you were falling asleep.
After a while, Bi-Han noticed you weren’t saying a peep. When he looked down he saw you were knocked out. It was night and still no Liu Kang. Hopefully he will have better luck tomorrow. He should find a better place for you to sleep where you will be safe. He took you out and placed you on your stomach in the palm of his hand. He petted your back with one finger to prevent you from waking up. He kind of likes you this way. So punny and pathetic, it’s so adorable. You would have no choice but to depend on him for everything. Ah, he shouldn’t be thinking that way. He should focus on you getting back to normal. Still can’t help that he finds this situation a bit entertaining. Maybe he’ll drag this out a little longer just to see what else he could do with you.
After notes: All I could think of was Marc Anthony and Pussyfoot when writing this. That was the energy I was getting. I just saw a drawing that was like this idea which included Bi-Han. Strange. Adiós!
#mortal kombat#mk1#mortal kombat 1#mortal kombat1#mortal kombat x reader#mortal kombat x you#mk x reader#mk x you#mk fanfic#bi han x you#bi han x reader#bi han mk#bi han sub zero#bi han mortal kombat#mortal kombat bi han#bi han#sub zero x you#sub zero x reader#sub zero mk1#sub zero
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hey friend 👋
it took me a hot minute to try and remember this ask because i came up with it a while ago and its just kind of been…floating around in my brain? i guess? because you know i would never disrespect you snd ask you when requests were closed 👎👎
but anyway
so i was thinking jason x apollo reader who seems to always get sick with little thinks like sniffles or whateva even though shes literally the daughter of the medicine god
anyway i just think it would be cute to have jason being all lovey and caring and trying to help and stuff
thanks queen ❤️
✮⋆˙ achoo and a-bless you! - jason grace x daughter of apollo! reader blurb
𝜗𝜚 content…jason grace x daughter of apollo! reader blurb
𝜗𝜚 warning…none!
𝜗𝜚 letters from the author…this was so cutesy and fun!! i also still have a lingering sniffle from when i was sick like a MONTH ago but it's starting to go away, praise the lord!! also, thank you for respecting the closed inbox!! OH this is also in part for @maybxlle as she asked so kindly for some jason fluff!! here you guys go, he's still alive in this one...for now MWHAHAHAHAHA
────────── ౨ৎ ──────────
"ACHOO!"
"and a-bless you!" jason called back to your sneeze, causing you to roll your eyes as you rubbed at your nose with a tissue.
"you think you're sooo funny," you mocked as he came back into view, a mug held in his hands, which he proudly presented to you.
"sometimes. you want some more cough drops?" he asked, watching with a greater interest than needed as you sipped your tea with a content smile.
"nah. could use some special superman cuddles, though," you winked at the boy with a wide grin. now it was his turn to roll his eyes but he flopped into bed with you nonetheless, easily configuring himself around you.
"feeling any better?" he muttered into the crook of your neck, his nose nuzzling against the skin there. you simply hummed in response, pushing impossibly closer to him.
but, then your nose was twitching again and you were bursting out of his arms, sneezing away from him. and he had the audacity to laugh at you, causing you to glare at him while you grabbed yet another tissue.
"yeah, yeah, laugh it up."
"you don't find it a little ironic? the sickly daughter of apollo?" teased jason, which earned him a used tissue to the chest. if anyone else would have done it, he'd shock the daylights out of them. but, it was you. so he simply tossed it to the trash, using a light breeze to ensure buckets.
"never claimed to be medically proficient," you shrugged, returning to his side, this time with a box of tissue.
"clearly, sneezy," the son of jupiter continued to tease, his smirk growing at the glare that was turned to him and the finger shoved into his chest.
"watch it, bird boy, i could leave you looking like a pin cushion with my arrows."
"but you wouldn't."
"nah. your face is too handsome to be a bullseye."
“…thanks?”
#postcards from covey ౨ৎ#all my love ౨ৎ#pjo#hoo#pjo fandom#heroes of olympus x reader#percy jackon and the olympians#jason grace#jason grace x you#jason grace x y/n#the heroes of olympus#heroes of olympus#jason grace x reader#the lost hero#pjo hoo toa#toa#jason grace fanfic
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Long post incoming, but I've been on and off it for days so you're gonna see it.
On Charles and Love
I think there's a lot more to Charles' reaction to Edwin's confession than what we may first assume.
Charles loves harder than anyone, but I don't think he even knows what it means or feels like to be IN love--or to be loved back. This isn't a dig at Edwin, so don't @ me. This has to do with Charles' past.
When Edwin first confesses on the steps of Hell, Charles doesn't even hesitate with his response: "Great, love you too, can we go now?" He does love Edwin, one way or another. He hasn't needed to examine that love any further. He doesn't think Edwin could mean it that way, because Edwin probably has never given any indication of feeling that for anyone. Perhaps he didn't think Edwin capable of love in that way. Perhaps it's his own repressed sexuality. Perhaps it's the feeling that he is inherently unlovable. Perhaps it's a combination of things.
On Edwin's and Charles' Repression
Look, Edwin is clearly autistic and heavily emotionally repressed--he's British, from 1916, and male. That's the perfect storm of emotional repression. But he clearly feels and feels deeply--he just doesn't always let on about it. (Which is such a nice thing to see for autistic representation, the "unfeeling alien" trope ain't it.)
And even though they've been together for 30 years, they clearly do not talk about deep emotions much, because it makes Edwin uncomfortable and Charles probably wouldn't manage to get much out before cracking a joke instead--it's his defense mechanism.
As for his own repression, Charles grew up in the 80s as a biracial kid with an abusive father. He was also at least questionably queer while alive: he was part of an alt crowd, wore eyeliner, and wore a single dangly earring. Now that doesn't mean for certain he's queer or questioning, but it IS a pretty common code in media and storytelling. And I imagine no small part of his father's excuses for abusing Charles had to do with "beating the queer out of him." Of COURSE that led to repression--how could it not?
On Feeling Unlovable
And the feeling that he's inherently unlovable? Does he really feel that way? I think so.
He wants it. He wants to be loved so badly. And because of that, he tries so hard. He tries to stay light and happy and kind, even when he's suffering underneath--he has his own flavor of emotional repression. Because if he can't be loved, he can at least be liked.
And he doesn't just want people to like him, he needs them to like him, because he needs to know he's likable. Because there's safety in being likable. There's safety in being funny and friendly and "a good sort of chap." It's proof he's not the monster his father was--the monsters his friends were. It's his shield. The shield he uses to protect himself from the world, yes, but also to protect the world from him. Or at least, who he thinks he is, deep down.
It's also, in his mind, his only chance at being loved. His only chance at staying loved. Because love is earned. Because love is the reward for good behavior. At least, that's how it was as a kid, right? And that's all he knows. He died before he could experience any other kind of love--besides the love between himself and Edwin, which is its own complicated matter.
The other difficult aspect of growing up in a household where love and affection were weaponized and where violence is an acceptable reaction to anger, is how it radically alters your perception of love and family.
You crave the love and validation you never received, but you also fear it and don't believe it's real when it comes without strings.
You struggle to identify love in healthy relationships because if it doesn't hurt, then is it really love?
And even though you crave it more than anything, you're afraid of it. You're afraid for things to get real, because real love--or your understanding of it--is dangerous.
Because love is a weapon and you can't bear for anyone to use it against you again.
Hurt People Hurt People...Sometimes
Trauma manifests differently in each person. There are some commonalities, but it's never exactly the same. I know the saying is "hurt people hurt people" and that's not entirely wrong. But sometimes, hurt people heal people--or at least try to. Charles is in the second group.
Charles never, ever wants anyone to feel the kind of love he knew while he was alive. So he paradoxically loves openly while remaining guarded. His loyalty and devotion are unmatched. He went to Hell for Edwin. But he also never told Edwin the truth about his father until essentially forced to. Because that involves vulnerability. It involves, in his eyes, weakness. And what did vulnerability and "weakness" get him in life? Well...dead.
But he craves reciprocation. He needs to feel like he can be vulnerable, safely. I don't think that Edwin has done anything to make him feel unsafe, but being that they're both emotionally surpressed boys killed by other boys for perceived weaknesses at 16 and the lack of a ghost therapist...it's not all that surprising they haven't dealt with their issues in 30 years.
I think this is why he latches onto Crystal so quickly and easily. Firstly, she's alive: he can at least pretend to ignore his own death for a bit. Secondly, she's his age (sort of) and can see him, which is an uncommon experience at best. Thirdly, again--she's alive, so it can never last--never be real. Either she'll age beyond him, or she'll die and likely be taken to her afterlife. Which he'll happily ignore for the first two reasons.
On Types of Love
I won't get too into this, because I'm in no way an expert in the wide variety of emotions attributed to love. But I will say this: Charles died at 16.
If we set aside the possibility of him being aromantic for now (which he absolutely could be), he may never have had the chance to fall in love while he was alive. If he could even recognize it for what it was. I mean, I'm in my 30s, been married and divorced twice, and I'm still not sure I've ever been in love. At 16, you're drowning in hormones and it can be hard to decipher feelings.
On Arrested Development
If you think about it, his death and subsequent ghostly afterlife are a supernatural version of the arrested development a lot of child abuse survivors experience. But his development arrested literally--he literally CAN'T grow up. At least, not physically.
He may have had 30 years to address his issues, but why would he have thought to? He doesn't have the same responsibilities or needs as a living adult. He's constantly on the job or on the run from Death, he's living with Emotional Repression the Person (my beloved), and frankly...it hurts to examine those problems. How many adults are actively avoiding their own issues?
On the Confession
Edwin, with the most heartwrenching tone of voice since David "I would like to spend" Tennant, makes clear that he's IN love with Charles. And for a moment Charles looks like he's been walloped in the gut with an iron bar, trying to process. But then the trauma-brain kicks in.
He finds the first "logical" explanation to someone (Edwin) telling him they love him: it's a literary reference, and Edwin is...maybe not "messing" with him, but maybe being extra dramatic about this? It can't be real.
But then Edwin gets upset--he's serious about this. And Charles sort of...short-circuits. He can't process this right now, not when they're running for their afterlives. Not when the Night Mother is waiting to split them up. Not when he's barely even begun to process his trauma. So he does everything he can to make sure Edwin knows that, no matter what, he loves him. Maybe not in the same way, but with the same depth.
Because they'll have time. They'll have all the time in the world to figure out what this means. Because they certainly don't right now, and everything Edwin is saying flies directly in the face of every opinion Charles has ever held about himself.
And what the hell is he supposed to do with that?
#charles rowland#edwin payne#dead boy detectives#paynland#payneland#cw: abuse mention#cw: trauma mention
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may i request a mai tai 💛 with nicojack
26 (and 25 if you combine prompts, not sure though!)
thank you for requesting!🫶🏽put this in the frat!universe because i thought you requested it but oh well!!🤠
26. kissing the top of their head
.
Neither you nor Jack could be blamed when it was clearly Nico’s fault for conditioning you both.
In all honesty, none of you really noticed what he was doing until he stopped. And then suddenly, your world was disjointed and the planets weren’t aligning and the world was tilting on its axis. Something so small and yet so monumental that it was disconcerting when it never happened.
Because you were so damn used to Nico kissing the top of your heads as a small but heartwarming gesture.
It was funny, really. The man had done more than enough to make butterflies erupt in your stomach, to make your cheeks burn and your brain to melt until no coherent thoughts were left. He said filthy things in your ear and bent you into positions that had you seeing stars. He had made you feel a million emotions and more.
But nothing made you feel more loved than the way his hand caressed the back of your head, holding you in place as his lips pressed a loving, lingering kiss on the top of your head. And you knew Jack agreed because you had seen the way his face broke out into a grin after Nico kissed his head—and you knew your face matched his expression.
That’s why it threw you both off when Nico left one morning for class without kissing either one of you on the head.
You had no classes and Jack’s were later in the afternoon so the two of you were lounging in his room, no real rush to start your day. But Nico was running late, in a bit of a rush as he shoved books into his bag and called out a quick ‘love you!’ before he rushed off.
You didn’t realise how offended you would be until it happened.
And you thought you were being dramatic until you turned to look at Jack and found him frowning, a crease formed between his brows as he stared at the door Nico just ran out off. So, if anything, you weren’t being a brat. Or being dramatic. Or silly or theatrical or whatever else the other frat brothers had said.
You and Jack were being so fair about your reactions, especially when Nico came back from classes and didn’t even try to rectify his mistakes. And especially when it happened a few more times over the next week.
“I don’t understand what’s happened,” Nico tried again as he stared a bit helplessly at you. He had tried to convince Jack to take a nap with him after his class, only for the younger boy to mutter something about studying and needing to go grab some books from Trevor.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you answered simply, your eyes on your laptop instead of the way Nico was sitting on the bed, shorts riding up his thick thighs with his legs spread as far as they were.
He shot you a look. “So you’re doing this as well?”
“Doing what?” You questioned innocently, even if your eyes have read over the same sentence more times than you cared to admit because your boyfriend was distracting in those tiny shorts and the small frown on his face.
Nico hummed and, naively, you thought he had let it go. But then you heard him getting up and his footsteps making his way towards you. And you barely had a chance to react before your chair was being spun around and Nico’s arms were locking you in as he leaned over you.
“I–”
“Tell me what’s bothering you both.”
You let out a stubborn sigh. “Nothing.”
“Baby, I can’t help if I don’t know what’s wrong,” Nico said, his voice soft but firm and, fuck, you knew what he was doing. That sweet, coaxing voice he used in bed too when he wanted you to do what he asked, when he had you whining and panting and promised you he would give you what you wanted if you were a little patient.
The fucker knew what he was doing with that voice.
“C’mon,” he murmured, his accent coating his words to make them that little bit sweeter. “Use your words.”
“You forgot,” you blurted out.
Nico blinked. “I…forgot?”
“You—” You paused, feeling your cheeks burn a little because, okay, maybe you and Jack were being a little dramatic about the whole thing. And it was only really hitting you when you had to confess it out loud. “You don’t kiss us anymore.”
Nico blinked again. “Uh, I do, baby. I kiss you and Jack all the time.”
“Yeah, on the lips but—” You glanced away from him and the contemplative look on his face. “You don’t give us forehead kisses anymore. You used to do it all the time and, I don’t know, you just…forget now.”
It was silent for a while before you finally gained the courage to look at him, just to find Nico staring at you with a smile on his face and a soft look of adoration in his eyes.
“I didn’t realise you two enjoyed them so much,” he confessed, because for him, it was something instinctive. He just did it because it felt right, not because he thought about it. And something in his chest warmed at the idea that you and Jack craved the affection of it so much.
“Yeah, well…” You trailed off, shrugging your shoulders when words failed to leave your lips.
“Hmm, m’sorry for neglecting you both then,” Nico murmured and before you could even say anything, you felt both of his hands cupping your face before his head dropped to place a lingering kiss to the crown of your head. “Better?”
“You have a few to make up for,” you retorted and his grin widened.
However, before Nico could get his retort out, the door opened and Jack wandered back into the room, holding a comically large pile of books (some of which didn’t even belong to classes he took). You snorted at the sight, knowing very well he was making a point as he made his way to the desk to sit beside you.
“Jack,” Nico called out, biting back the smirk on his lips when he watched the younger boy try to act indifferent.
“Oh, you remember me now?” Jack muttered, keeping his eyes on the books because he knew he would crumble the second he turned to look at his boyfriend.
“C’mere.”
“I’m actually great where I am—hey!”
But his whining was cut off when, similarly to you, Nico held his head in his hands and used the height difference between them to press a lingering kiss to the top of his messy hair. And when he pulled back, he beamed at the sight of Jack blushing.
“Talk to me next time, okay?”
“Mhm.”
“Instead of being a brat.”
Jack scoffed. “I was not being a brat.”
“Yeah, you were,” Nico retorted but he sounded fond as he pressed another kiss to his boyfriend’s head. “You both were but, fortunately, I love you both for it.”
.
#cece's cocktail celebration#nicojack#nico hischier#jack hughes#nhl#new jersey devils#nico hischier x reader#nico hischier x you#nico hischier x y/n#nico hischier fic#nico hischier one shot#jack hughes x reader#jack hughes x you#jack hughes x y/n#jack hughes fic#jack hughes one shot#nhl x reader#nhl x you#nhl x y/n#nhl fic#nhl one shot
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I've said this before, but one of the funniest things that happened on Double Life has gotta be BigB informing Ren that he's been gone so long, their child has grown an arm in his absence and even said its first word ("Ren")... and Ren following this by proudly telling his partner that he's joined a singles support group.
BigB's response is "Oh, that's- That's awesome, dude... Y'know, I thought you were going to leave me for Martyn."
BigB thinks Ren is cheating on him, which is WHY he sneaks out to give Grian cookies and accept him as a secret admirer.
And Ren's alibi? Oh, it's less of a singles support group and more of a cult for the demon he blames for killing them both and that he's now dedicating himself to demon worship.
And BigB's response to hearing this is that they should go find Scott and get couple's therapy.
That's what's so funny, actually- They don't even go to therapy because BigB met with his secret admirer. Ren FLIPS post-therapy session when he finds out BigB met up with the mystery person, but he didn't know until after.
No. BigB wanted couple's therapy because his partner failed to be home to see their baby say his first word and the reason Ren wasn't home is because he was out worshipping the demon who killed him without telling BigB where he was. And supposedly it's a singles support group. While they're living together and raising a child.
Box Boys drama is so off the wall, for real, for real.
33 minutes into BigB's Episode 3
#trafficblr#Rendog#bigbst4tz2#Renthedog#Box Boys#Double Life#traffic soulmates#traffic life smp#mcyt#secret soulmates#Renchanting duo#Dog Biscuits
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Guide me?With Pleasure
Sukuna x Fem!Reader (ft. Yorozu)
Synopsis: Better than being hostile to the other woman, have her fall for you. Lowkey, have your boyfriend jealous as well.
Tropes: Established relationship
Warnings: Strong language, suggestive, cheating(maybe?) implied stalking, smoking, jealous!Sukuna(cause he's a adorable baby), Reader is kinda hateable, kinda toxic relationship, this series or wtv is almost satrical so just give the logical side of your brain a rest and enjoy, usage of nicknames, no mentions of y/n.
Word count: 2.6k
A/N: I am so scared to post this after that mega fucking blunder but whatever this was promised so here it is :)
Credits to @cursedvibes for making this post which helped me characterize Yorozu in this one.
Previous (recommended to read)
You had every quality of being the perfect boyfriend. But you were born as a girl.
Don't believe it? Let's rewind back to last Friday night.
Leaning against the wall in front of Yorozu's dormitory, you patiently wait for her while scrolling through your phone. Your watched ticked - 7:05 PM Given, it is significantly earlier than the perceived dinner time in your area. However, only dinner isn't in your list tonight. Could've worked with only a dinner but no, that's like bare minimum. Like come on, if you are taking out Yorozu on a date then you were determined to make it a memorable one.
Laughable, indeed it is. Who could've guessed? You were taking out the woman-the one considered to be the other woman in your relationship - on a date.
Life has a funny sense of humor.
---》《---
"I was hurt," You proclaim with a furrow of eyebrows.
"Excuse me?"
"You're excused." You snicker, stepping up to the black-haired woman who gazed at you with a perplexed look. "But why didn't you text me, sweetheart? I was waiting for, you know."
"Stop calling me that." Annoyance laced her tone. "I don't even know you-"
"We are classmates."
"Doesn't fucking matter, I am not interested."
"Now, that hurt for real." You state, keeping your fist over your chest. "Its fine though, I don't mind. I just wanted to let you know the details of our date-"
"I am not going on any date with you. Now leave me the fuck alone." She turned on her heels, moments from sprinting out from your vicinity.
"Hey, wait-"
You had no plan on letting her leave so quick. It was difficult enough to locate her in your vast college campus. Like damn- you didn't know none of your subjects matched with her except ecology but you had switched it to additional so you it was seldom you attended that lecture. (Just enough times to fulfil the attendance quota). However, this time you attended it in order to meet her.
"What now?" She glanced back, a glare directly aimed at you; making you swallow a lump.
Two thoughts rang in your mind at that second.
First - damn, that's scary.
Second - damn, that's hot.
You sighed, clasping your hand behind your back, "See, its fine if you don't want to go on a date. Why don't you keep it platonic then? Like friends-"
"You're not my friend."
"I can be." You sheepishly smile causing her to roll her eyes. "Come on, it won't be that bad."
With an irritated scowl, she asks, "Will you stop bothering me if I say yes?"
"Can you exempt a pick-up line or two in between?"
"That's it. I am leaving."
"Wait, wait- fine. I will not bother you again."
"You swear?" She tilts her aside.
"I swear."
"Fine."
---》《---
Fine, you agree you were overbearing. While sinking into the sheets that night and playing the day's events on repeat, you got second hand embarrassment at your persuasive attitude.
You keep your phone inside your purse once the sound of a door opening reached your ears. Mesmerized would be an understatement. Your eyes widened, lips parting as you stand watching the girl walk out of her dorm.
Yorozu didn't dress up in anything extravagant. Just a casual outfit with a touch of make up. Man did it not enchance her features? You were aware she was beautiful but now- you were wonderstruck.
God, women are the prettiest.
"My, you look gorgeous." You state breathily, almost transfixed by her.
"Not for yo–"
You hold a red tulip before her face – halting her speech. A smile graces your lips as you tilt your head aside, "I know but there's no harm in stating the obvious, is it?"
Yorozu accepts the flower, gazing at it with suspicion and mild awe. The soft, honey-like fragrance hits her, she raises an eyebrow, "What's this for?"
"A pretty flower for a pretty girl."
"You said you wouldn't flirt."
"As I said, stating the obvious. That's not flirting," You shrug, putting emphasis on the particular word. Offering her your hand, you asked, "So, shall we?"
She looks at you skeptically then at your hand before walking towards the exit on her own; without a word.
Her attitude is in sharp contrast to her face.
(Could you blame her though? You coerced her into this outing the first place.)
You sigh, running up to her then falling on step. The cool evening air hit your skin, strands of your hair blowing with the wind – you push the ones back which clouded your vision.
You can just hope this doesn't turn negative.
.
Fifteen minutes into this, none of you speak a word.
In your defence, you don't know what to say; besides, striking up an ideal conversation on your own isn't your forte. Yorozu doesn't make the effort to converse with you either, glancing at the streets or up ahead. It's kind of awkward however not completely. You can thank the cars and bikes speeding on the road to cut through the tension.
Tension... that reminds you of someone else and that someone else didn't make the effort to call you one single time. You grit your teeth, inwardly fuming at the lack of concern. Sure, you told him all about this little plan of yours and all he was like - enjoy.
Seriously? Enjoy?
No, not his problem. Just mine to keep any ounce of expectation.
You sarcastically thought, throwing silent profanities inside your mind. Until you hear Yorozu speakp, "Where are we going?"
You hum, stealing a glance at her. Tipping your chin forward to the end of the pavement, you answer, "Somewhere you'll like."
"And if I don't?"
"You will."
She looks at you, raising an eyebrow. "You sure are confident."
"Why? Thank you."
"That wasn't a compliment."
"Sure, sweetie." You pinch your lips together, stifling the chuckle on your lips.
Twenty minutes later, which includes a ten minute bus ride, both of you were arrived at your chosen location. You smile as the establishment comes into view.
"Here we are."
Yorozu halts just beside you, her eyes widening when the realization dawns on her. "This place–"
"Mino insectarium," You say, clasping your hands behind your back as you take a once over at the sign board in front of it. Turning to her, you continue, "I heard from a friend of yours that you are interested in entomology, so–" You trail off, shrugging. "Do you like it?"
Surprise betrayed Yorozu's features. She stares at you for a second; at the insectarium the next, then back at you. She doesn't speak at first and you are left on the verge to contemplate on your own if this was a good enough place.
The doubts clear out when a grin cracks on her lips, the corner of her eyes crinkle. Her eyes gleam under the streetlight; that's the moment you realize just how pretty this woman looked while smiling.
"I love it." She affirms, the enthusiasm in her tone doesn't elude you.
"Told you."
"You did."
"Now," You start, running your fingers through your hair. "I am a novice in case of insects–" You take that she understands what you're implying when she nods. You try your luck again. Holding up your hand.
"Guide me?"
"With pleasure."
Yorozu takes your hand this time, tugging you towards the entrance; you struggle, trying to keep up with her excitement.
That smile doesn't leave her for the rest of your date.
.
Two remarkable things happened in this date.
First: You learnt that Yorozu just isn't interested in insects. She's fucking obsessed.
And mind you, that obsession turned enthusiasm is what raises Yorozu's rank in your book. She walks you through with every little knowledge she has of these little creatures; from their habitats to their intricate nervous system and more. You can agree sometimes you lose do track with all these informations but- but its still fun. (Like did you know some some larvae of fireflies are predatory and they mimic other fireflies to attract and consume them?)
Don't you just love it when people talk so passionately about subjects they love?
Second: You earned a nickname.
This stems from when you both walked into the beetle section.
"You're like a beetle, you know."
Caught off-guard, you pivot towards her; she's looking at the mentioned creatures. The varieties take up a wall, each with a different colour, shape and size – placed on a wall in such a way that it creates an illusion of a larger beetle.
Creativity never goes out of style.
"Why do you think so?" You ask.
"Why not? You resemble them."
"How?"
"You are stubborn, just like beetles."
Alright, that was a low blow.
You might need time getting used to her bluntness. For now, that marks as negative and you were seconds away from pushing her down the ranks in your book until she started speaking again.
"They are highly adaptive to any habitat, one of the reason they are one of the largest species," She pauses and turns to you. "This adaptability can turn into stubbornness but it also comes with resilence with the factor of transformation to turn the situation which favours them."
You blink at her. Once. Twice. "You think I am all that?"
"Seventy percent sure."
"And thirty percent unsure. That's still high to prove you incorrect."
"May not." She muses, turning to the insects again.
You aren't sure what to say and she doesn't make it easier with going into all these details.
A chuckle escapes her, "A part of you will be all that to me. Like c'mon you got me to come here with you even after a couple rejections, that's a proof in itself."
"Well uhm, thanks." It comes off more as a question which you don't want to be. Though a part of you does feel contended. At least, she has a good image of you now.
"Would you mind being called Atlas?"
"Atlas?" You raise an eyebrow. "Like the book of maps? Where does that come from?"
She shakes her head, "No, not that Atlas. Atlas as in, the Atlas beetle. Largest known beetle, visually beautiful and strong as hell. Everything which you are."
Time for you to be shocked cause did she just call you beautiful? And strong? And stubborn? Damn this woman... You can't help the laugh that leaves your lips soon after. She really has a way with her words.
"So... may I?" She asks again.
"I don't see why not." You reply after your laughter dies down. "Atlas, has a nice ring to it."
"Glad you like it, Atlas."
That's your new nickname.
Nothing significant occurs after the visit to the insectarium.
All you do is have dinner in a pretty modest restaurant then walk back Yorozu to her dorm. Though, the long thirty minutes walk seemed shorter than it should have.
When you bid her farewell, Yorozu is one step ahead as she side hugs you and tells, "Thank you."
While you're walking away from her dorm, you've a stupid grin on your face too.
.
"Atlas. What are you? Some book?"
The familiar voice catches you off guard. You swiftly turn on your heels and yes, there he is. Leaning against his bike while holding a cigarette between his pointer and middle finger.
"What the hell are you doing here?" You question, narrowing your eyes as a scowl makes it's way onto your face. You've only crossed a couple of blocks from the college dormitory and lo and behold, you find Sukuna.
He takes a generous puff on the stick before blowing out a chunk of smoke. For reasons, he refuses to look at you, carmine eyes fixed on the lighted tube. He speaks, "You sure had fun in your date."
"Well, uh yeah. It was good–"
"Right." He scoffs. "Got a new nickname too. Absolutely adorable."
His sarcasm doesn't elude you, your eyes narrow as you put two and two together, stepping up to him. "You were stalking me?"
"That's another way to call it." His lip quirks up.
"Like what?"
"Like," He muses, standing up straight. "I prefer the term a curiously observant bystander."
You resist the urge to roll your eyes, pressing your lips in a thin line as your hands fold over your chest. There's a lingering emotion on the back of your mind which you can't put your finger on except it treads the line between annoyance and amusement.
Sukuna drops his cigarette before stomping on it and turns towards his bike. He swings his leg over the vehicle, getting on top of it. "There," He jerks his thumb back, indicating you to get on "Or you can just get drenched in the rain."
Just then a flickering light shines all over the area, the next second, a thunder roars through the sky. The best and most rational decision would be to go home with him. But did I mention that you will show defiance just for the sake of it?
"Mhm, no thanks." A sarcastic grin gets plastered on your lips. "Yorozu's dorm isn't–"
You don't get to finish your sentence before Sukuna puts (borderline pushes) a spare helmet on your head. His eyes narrow, hatred burns within them, jaw clenches then unclenches as he faces you. "Get on before I make you."
What's with that tone?
Confusion plagues you and you are about to question but he beats you to it.
"And," He pauses, "Don't you dare utter that bitch's name from your mouth again."
Asshole. Nah, you are not hearing any shit about Yorozu now. Now when she's on your‐ alright, if not a friend, at least she's not on your hate list now.
"And don't you dare call her a bitch now. She has a name for your information."
"Protective, are we?" He scoffs, raising an eyebrow.
"And what's the problem with that?"
"Everything." He states, tipping his face aside, he signals for you to get on again. "I will use force if I have to." He warns.
Your lips twists down. Something is definitely wrong with him. You could feel it.
From somewhere, the part of your brain associated with intelligence starts working and everything clicks in place.
Does he not sound jealous?
Suddenly, the urge to strangle someone is converted to the urge to stifle your laughter. Only a week ago, it was you in his place being jealous of the exact same person.
Oh, just how the tables have turned.
With a snort past your lips, you decide it's best to just give in today.
"Sure, your highness." You tease, before fastening your helmet as Sukuna starts the engine of his bike. You climb on the vehicle, grasping him abdomen tightly. A heat creeps onto your cheeks when the firmness of his chiseled skin pokes on your fingertips over his shirt. However, all of those fleeting thoughts are pushed away as the cool night air hits your skin and Sukuna speds off.
Another lightning struck across the sky. Fortunately or no- better word would be thankful.
Thankfully to Sukuna's skill and precision with the mechanism of his bike, both of you reach home before the relentless downpour could start.
"Switch off the freezer." You say, "I will plug out the TV." He follows through and so do you with your mild responsibility.
The night commences as another ordinary for both of you.
On the other side of the city, a woman sits aside a window sill, watching the rain drizzle on the glass as it slids down.
She holds a red tulip tenderly.
.
Bonus scene from your date with Yorozu
"Before I forget, Sukuna is my boyfriend. Can you not cling onto him?"
"Didn't you say you liked me?"
"Well about that–"
"Do you have a slot open for a girlfriend?"
Tags: @toffeebrat
#sukuna ryomen#sukuna x reader#sukuna ryomen x reader#ryomen x reader#ryomen sukuna#sukuna x you#ryomen x you#sukuna ryomen x you#ryomen sukuna x you#ryomen sukuna x reader#sukuna jjk#jjk sukuna#jjk x reader#jjk#sukuna#ryomen sukuna fanfiction#sukuna fanfic#ryomen sukuna fluff#sukuna fluff#yorozu#yorozu x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader
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so im taking that oil painting class rn right. i mentioned wanting to paint something original instead of just copying a reference bc that's all the teacher has had me doing so far and he agreed I'm probably ready and went off on this whole tangent about how i shouldn't be nervous to try to do something more original and creative and how he'll show me some original stuff his friends have painted and had shown in galleries etc etc, and... I think somehow he's been assuming that the reason I've been painting realistic stuff directly from photo refs is because that's the kind of art I like to do and that I'm nervous about trying something else??? instead of what he's been telling me to do?
which is really funny to me because apart from this class I haven't 1:1 copied a reference for years, I just haven't gone out of my way to show him any art I make in my own time because this is like a professional full-time oil painter who has paintings in galleries and shit, real high-brow art stuff, and idk how to tell him that left to my own devices I draw video game fanart and dragons and furry commissions and gay sex and cringe and i dont want to draw other things
#the temptation to make an ultrakill oil painting is really strong#i think it would be really funny#everyone else in there is making their art school portfolios or smth. pan over to me painting a robot and angel making out#trust me if my mom hadn't signed herself up for this and then not had the time to go i would NOT be here#side note why do ppl assume that if i know how to paint from photos very realistically then that's what i ENJOY drawing???#and vice versa why do ppl act surprised when they see my personal art and then find out i can do realistic painting (looking at u mom)#“why dont u paint like that all the-” because its not fun!! fuck off#my mom's so convinced me or my sister are one day gonna be the kind of professional artists where ppl pay thousands for a single super#realistic painting and that we're gonna have shit in art galleries and whatnot. just a weirdly outdated view of what “artist” can mean#and its like. but i dont want to do that. iwant to draw video games and gay people and do whatever i want forever. eat my entire ass
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Can you do a little!matt x fem!cg!reader? 🩵🩵
[🩹] stressful week recovery | matt sturniolo one-shot
paring : little!matt x cg!fem!reader
summary : after a stressful week, matt's girlfriend knows just what her little one needs !
warning/extra tid-bits : Matt and his CG are in a romantic relationship outside of being a little and caregiver but this still does not make age regression sexual, y/n used (sorry guys its inevitable sometimes😿)
word count : 2,423
divider credit : MEEE c: i made it using canva guys!!
a/n : save me monkey jellycat i saw at the store today....save me... (sorry for any typos ! i'm just a girl !)
Friday, 8:10 pm.
Matt let out a loud sigh as he finally let his head hit his pillows, his entire body relaxing into the plush mattress. Closing his eyes and letting out yet another exhausted breath, Matt recounted the week he'd endured.
On Monday, Chris woke him up screaming they were missing footage and Nick needed it to wrap up the video. Tuesday, he was supposed to drive Chris to a dentist appointment and everything was going fine until...a simple flat tire caused Matt to make Chris late, which Chris wouldn't let go of for the remainder of the week.
Wednesday, they filmed. The familiar nickname of "Miserable Matt" returned...which sucked. Matt wasn't miserable, he wasn't even annoyed by his brothers at first. He was just overstimulated, the leather seats of the car too uncomfortable, the car too hot but the AC too loud. It was unbearable....maybe even miserable.
Thursday started out good. He ran a few errands with Nick and Chris, who still insisted that Matt intentionally made him late for his dentist appointment. That didn't matter though, because he was just joking....hopefully. Thursday was going so well in fact, that he decided he would take some instagram photos with the help of Chris.
Well, apparently Chris thought it would be so funny to intentionally make each photo blurry to some degree. "If I can be late to a dentist appointment, you can survive with one less photo on your feed." He teased as Matt held back frustrated tears the entire way back.
Today, Friday, was probably the easiest of all. He spent the entire day attempting to de-stress. He had to film yet another video, but this one was easier as Chris seemed to finally let the damn dentist grudge go. That's what led him to now, laying on his bed with a blaring headache as the stress of the week caught up to him. The yelling from Monday, the week-long teasing…the blurry photos.
Everything just felt too loud. Too loud, or too bright. Too big.
Shit.
Everything felt too big. Matt felt small, little.
Groaning, Matt evaluated his options. His brothers knew mildly of his regression, but there was no way in hell he was going to ask them for help. Not now.
He didn’t even necessarily want to bother his girlfriend/caregiver right now but this regression was coming on strong and there was no way Matt would be able to handle it on his own.
As if on cue, the familiar sound of your text tone went off on his nightstand. Quickly sitting up and scrambling for his phone, Matt read your message through teary eyes.
‘mommy🤍: hey hun!! were we still on for that movie marathon? x’
Shit. In the hell-spiral that had been this week Matt completely forgot he agreed to a movie marathon with you. Chewing his lip anxiously, Matt typed out a response.
‘matty💙 : really sorry, i don't think i can. had a really bad week, i don't know if i can drive over :(’
It took less than a moment for a reply to come back.
‘mommy🤍: be ready in 20, bring your littlespace bag’
A smile managed to form on the brunette's face. Matt took a few more moments to calm himself down, the familiar fuzzy feeling beginning to become even more prominent on his mind.
“Not yet.” He thought to himself as he stood up carefully, grabbing the bag out from his closet. He took in front of his open closet for a few moments before deciding to change into a looser fitting t-shirt and sweats.
Matt sat back down on the edge of his bed, checking his phone once more even though he knew you'd be at least another 10 minutes.
Friday, 9:00 pm.
‘mommy🤍: in the driveway, need me to come get you baby?'
‘matty💙 : i can do it'
‘matty💙 : not little yet.'
Matt began trudging downstairs with his backpack cast over his shoulder, he was just gonna slip out the front door and avoid having to explain to his brothers why he was going to spend the weekend at his girlfriend's hous-
"Matt!" Chris called, peeking his head over the couch. God dammit. Matt turned on his heels, flashing a fake smile to both his brothers. "Where are you heading off too in the night?" Nick joked, "Kid looks like batman." Chris added with a laugh.
"Mysterious Matt." Both Nick and Chris agreed before bursting into laughter. Matt had to remind himself to take deep breaths to avoid crying once again. His brothers were just joking around with him, he was just sensitive.
He wanted to just slip out the front door, hurry across the driveway, slide into your car and let you take charge. He just wanted to regress.
“Uhm…(Y/N)’s picking me up.” Matt swallowed, shifting his weight from one foot to another. "I'm staying the weekend." He added, reaching for the doorknob.
"Okay, loverboy." Nick said, Matt rolled his eyes at the old joke. The middle triplet stood awkwardly for a moment, the silence being interrupted by Matt's phone going off.
‘mommy🤍: everything okay?'
Smiling at the message, Matt bid his brothers a goodbye before shutting the door closed behind him. Matt smiled, the fuzzy feeling weighing down on his brain even more as he opened the passenger side door.
"Hey baby!" You smiled, "Look who I brought!" You reached behind you. You took a moment before pulling out Matt's beloved pug stuffed animal he'd left behind a few weeks ago, Mr.Wrinkleton.
A smile instantly formed on Matt's face as he quickly buckled his seatbelt, placing his backpack in front of him. "Mr.Wrinkleton!" The boy beamed, no longer feeling the need to fight off the obvious signs he was regressing.
Ruffling his hair, you put the car in park and began the drive to your home.
For the most part, Matt was silent. Only occasionally whispering something to Mr.Wrinkleton or pointing at something on the side of the road.
"Do you want mama to make you something? Or do you want something else?" You asked, turning down the soft indie music that was playing through the car speakers. Matt paused for a moment, thinking to himself.
"....grilled 'eese?" The brunette asked, looking over at you. "P'ease mama?" The puppy-dog eyes were now in full-effect. You smiled, glancing over at your boy, "Does Mr.Wrinkleton want a grilled cheese too?" You asked, "He can't have grilled 'eese! He's a pug!" The boy giggled.
Friday, 9:40 pm.
"One grilled cheese for Matt." You hummed, placing the plastic bear-shaped plate down on your kitchen island.
"No crust!" Matt beamed as he noticed you'd sliced the edges of the sandwich off. You nodded, wrinkling up your nose with a smile. "I cut it off, just for you." You tapped his nose playfully. "Do you think Mr.Wrinkleton would want the crust?" You asked, revealing a small blue bowl of bread crust from behind you.
Matt giggled and nodded enthusiastically, "Mhm!!".
Smiling, you place the plush dog in front of the blue bowl. "Eat your food angel, bedtime soon." You said, brushing his hair away from his face.
While Matt ate his grilled cheese, you silently snuck the pieces of bread from Mr.Wrinkleton's bowl into your mouth. The two of you enjoyed the comfortable quiet.
"Chris was bein' mean..." Matt mumbled, leaning into your arm. You quickly took your hand away from Mr.Wrinkleton's bowl as you turned your attention to your little.
"Really? What was he saying sweetheart?" You asked, snaking your arm around his lower torso and pulling him closer.
"Kept sayin' I made him late to th-the dentist on purpose..." Matt mumbled, his feelings quite obviously still hurt from Chris' comments.
"Oh honey..." You cooed as you felt Matt's tears trickle down his face and begin to dampen your shirt sleeve.
"A-And I didn't mean too! M' had to change the tire all by m'self!" Matt cried, abandoning his mostly-eaten sandwich to reach for your grasp.
Standing up, you gently led Matt to the couch allowing the two of you to collapse onto the cushions. Matt instantly scrambled onto your lap, curling into you.
"Shhh, I'm here. Just let it out." You soothed, wrapping your arms around your little, playing with the back of his hair. Matt cried, whimpering out a few more words about "blurry photos 'n lost footage".
You made a mental note to ask Matt about those things when he was no longer regressed.
"Mama's here....I've got you." You reassure, kissing the top of the brunette's head before he buried his head into the crook of your neck.
The two of you stayed like that for an hour. Matt unleashing the stress of his week through tears and you whispering reassuring words into his ear as you played with his hair.
Eventually though, Matt's tears turned to sniffles and sniffles turned to hiccups, which eventually turned to snores.
You carefully slid out from under him, taking a couch pillow from behind you and placing it under his head. You quietly went to your room, snatching the softest blanket you owned off your bed before returning to the living room and throwing it over your baby boy.
"Shhh, just relax baby." You soothed as Matt stirred in his sleep. Quickly, you grabbed Mr.Wrinkleton from the kitchen counter and his pacifier from his backpack.
Crouching in front of Matt, you softly tucked the pug stuffed animal under his arm before bringing the paci to his lips. Matt's eyes were still filled with sleep as they cracked open, "It's your paci, baby." You explained, a sleepy smile appeared on Matt's face before he accepted the pacifier, snuggling further into his covers.
You let out a content sigh once you were sure he was asleep once again, the gentle sounds of breathing and suckling noise from Matt's paci filling the room.
Saturday, 2:30 am.
"Mommy?" Matt called, peeking into your dark room. You awoke from your sleep, quickly turning to face the door and clicking a light on.
"What's going on angel? Something wrong?" You ask, rubbing your sleep-ridden eyes. Matt shook his head before sheepishly looking down at his feet.
You smiled, realizing what Matt was too nervous to ask. "C'mon," You called, opening up your blanket. Matt let out a small squeal, before climbing into bed and snuggling into your frame.
You let your boy get comfortable before beginning to play with his hair, both of you enjoying the safety of each other's presence. Just as you were about to let sleep take over once again, you heard a small murmur come from a half-asleep Matt.
"M' love you mama."
#fandom agere#agere#sfw agere#age regression#agere blog#agere community#matt sturniolo#chris sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#matthew sturniolo#matt sturniolo fluff#matt sturniolo imagine#matt sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo x you#nick sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#the sturniolo triplets#sturniolo#matthew sturniolo fanfic#matthew sturniolo imagine#matthew sturniolo x reader#matthew sturniolo x you#matt sturniolo agere#matt sturniolo oneshots#matthew sturniolo oneshot
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AITA (30f) for losing my cool/snapping at my roommate and friend (30m, who I will call Kyle) because he was too loud playing games online with his friends?
For context, in case it's needed: this happened a couple months ago, but it's been on my mind. We are both autistic and thus got a late start in our adult lives, in several ways. We have been friends for 10 years and have lived together for roughly 7 of them, on and off (we adopted 2 cats together many years ago, its just easier like this so we dont have to separate them or force one of us to be away from the cats. we love them very much. kind of a coparenting situation lol). Kyle has a salaried tech job that's remote for 70% of the time, and I've recently become a full-time online college student after failing to "make it" without a degree.
We live in a tiny 2-bedroom house that Kyle's family owns. We're only charged for utilities, which is why neither of us are leaving anytime soon (contrary to what you might assume, Kyle does not make a lot of money), especially since it's giving me the opportunity to go to school full-time and not worry about rent. Kyle helps me a lot with groceries and other necessities and I do most of the chores.
So we are always basically on top of each other, and sometimes we get on each other's nerves. We try to be respectful of each others' space, but it's hard because there is not much space in the first place.
I had a really busy day studying and doing homework, which is basically every day for me, since I'm taking 6 classes, 4 of which are STEM classes. So I tend to fall asleep early if I'm not unintentionally pulling all-nighters. I was trying to sleep when this happened around 9pm.
He usually closes his door because he knows he can be very loud, but it doesn't help much. I ended up having to close my own door to try and drown out some of his yelling and laughing, which I understand is going to happen and I try not to hold it against him.
But then he opened his door and left it wide open, so I could hear everything, like he was in the same room. Something really funny must have happened because he started scream-laughing.
Despite this being a semi-regular weekly occurrence, I was really startled. I figured, it probably wasn't intentional and he'll try to quiet down and close his door. I tried to relax and as soon as I started to fall asleep, he did it again, except louder.
This time he didn't stop, he was full-on screaming and yelling at the top of his lungs. Kinda like those game streamers/youtubers where literally all they do is scream the whole time? Very similar. My cat, who was asleep under the blanket on top of me, got startled awake and scratched the shit out of my leg.
I think this all triggered a "fight" response because I was suddenly just so incredibly pissed at Kyle, which I tried to get under control, but he would not stop screaming and I literally could not hear myself think.
(I cannot wear earplugs or have anything in/covering my ears for huge sensory reasons.)
Then my cat wanted to leave the room to see what the commotion was, so I had to open the door, which gave me a direct line of sight to to Kyle at his computer.
I walked over to his doorway. Tried to knock and call his name, but he didnt notice with his noise cancelling headphones on. So I slammed my hand against his door to get his attention & yelled "Hey! Shut the fuck up, Kyle!"
He looked surprised to see me and laughed and kinds waved it off and said "sorry, it got a little intense" and he started to explain what they were doing.
I cut him off and said "I don't care. Shut the hell up." He said he could close his door again, and I said "No, you need to stop. Just stop! You're freaking the cats out too!" and I pointed to my leg with huge bloody scratch marks, shut his door, went back to my room, shut my own door. And of course after that I had adrenaline coursing through my body and I couldn't fall asleep anyway.
After that, I didnt hear a single sound from his room apart from an occasional quiet laugh. I started to feel guilty. I think I overreacted and ruined his fun. I know this is his way of blowing off steam halfway through the work week.
I also felt embarrassed because his friends probably heard me throwing a fit. We have lived with them before, and they're exactly that loud every single night. I have had to ask them to quiet down multiple times, and Kyle told me later on that gave them the impression that I'm. Well, "neurotic, controlling bitch" was heavily implied. Kyle is usually a lot more chill, but being around these guys influences him to act more like them.
But, I guess being loud while having fun isn't a crime, especially when it's not even 10pm yet. I feel like I proved his friends right, maybe.
The next morning I apologized, he apologized too, and everything seems to be good between us, but it's been a while and he's a lot quieter during game night now. He's such a reserved and stressed out person, he hardly ever laughs except when he's playing games, so I feel like I destroyed an important outlet.
I told another friend what happened and she said I didn't overreact at all and she would have flipped out way sooner if her husband did that. (Not sure it's comparable I mean we aren't married lol) And for the record, this friend and her husband were once part of a now-fractured friend group including Kyle and his game night friends, but grew apart, for a lot of reasons, but I think mainly because the Loud Gamer Friends never really grew up while everyone else matured and moved on to different phases in life.
Basically my friends current impression of Kyle is that he is a decent person but incredibly emotionally stunted and feels like he may unintentionally cope in ways that often hurt me without caring as much as she thinks he should. Which....feels partially accurate, I guess. But isn't that placing too much responsibility on him for my wellbeing? He does a lot for me, so it felt like an unfair thing to say.
My mom on the other hand, seems to fully think I am an asshole fun-ruiner. She thinks I should have tried harder to calm down. Maybe I should have approached him sooner - nicely.
And I agree. He probably would have tried his best to oblige even if he couldn't fully succeed. But that's the reason I didn't bother - in the past he has only been able to honor that kind of request for maybe 10-15 minutes, then forgets, and it's exhausting to keep reminding him.
Anyway... what does everyone here think?
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My Confession to why I choose Knightshade.
Well... this had to get explained sooner or later...
I guess I want to get this off my chest as to why I push these two so hard...
I know that Jaune and Blake don't really talk in canon. I know that they barely interact at all in the show, and the fact that I ship them at all is just plain crack.
But... for some reason I can't help it. Maybe its just my ignorance, or hell it could be that I am honestly not really a RWBY fan in terms of the show. I truly am an outsider looking because funny enough Fanfiction is what pushed me towards these two.
I just don't really care for canon when it comes to those two. It seems silly, but I just love a knight and ninja dynamic and these two just fit the bill in my opinion and my storytelling brain just tells me to but these two in a relationship. One feels cynical and dreary, while the other one is full of positivity when it comes to their emotions.
They both put themselves down when it comes to letting down their teams, and I just love the idea of them bonding over not only heavy topics like their family issues and the like when it comes to confidence and pushing forward, but maybe even goofy writing prompts like reading materials or food related shenanigans. I know that could be anyone with Jaune and Blake, but I guess I see them both most of all when it comes down to it.
My heart and mind can't help but think that if these two were in a different show or more of an adventure anime as main characters, they would be love interest with their conflicting personalities or how their dynamic would just flow like water. I don't mean to dog Bumblebee or Arkos, but this just something I feel in my heart.
I guess... I just love the clashing colors of the wonderful Knightshade... and I just can't let go...
Its why I asked for those commission from Sesh and Mc, I just think a cat ninja girl and a blond dorky knight was what did it for me.
So yeah... I don't really care to get judged by others for liking these two... I just think the dynamic works, and I can't help but defend my position on these two.
I don't mean to ruffle feathers, I just wanted to explain why I do what I do.
#knightshade#blake belladonna#jaune x blake#crossover fanart#rwby fanart#rwby knightshade#jaune arc#commission#my confessions#personal#pixel art
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