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varadasethus · 4 months

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On the tenth anniversary of Matt Smith regenerating into Peter Capaldi, I'm thinking of my relationship with the doctors - my reaction to their casting announcement and my feelings once they showed up on screen.

With Matt Smith's announcement, I was bereft. I was out for a family dinner in Glasgow on the night he was announced and specifically wanted to avoid my day being ruined by the announcement. Of course, one of those electronic screens with breaking news in the town centre told me anyway. He was so young, so odd, but of course anyone would've been wrong. David was my doctor, the first doctor I watched live, and so it wasn't an issue with Matt himself but in the possibility of change.

When David regenerated, as a stubborn ten year old I refused to accept the new doctor. Series 5 won me over, of course, and a new age of love for the show began, one with countless rewatches at sleepovers and theorising in Morrisons over what the resolution to That Cliffhanger could possibly mean.

By series 7, I was jaded. The resolutions to Those Cliffhangers were never nearly as clever or as exciting as I'd thought up in my head, and the trailer for series 7a was dire. Despite my love for Asylum of the Daleks, A Town Called Mercy brought the first ever episode I didn't watch live, and didn't bother catching up on for many years. Watching The Angels Take Manhattan, I discovered true disappointment. This was the first episode where every minute felt like a betrayal, everything wrong with the world. I rewatched for the first time a couple of years ago and unfortunately I still feel the same! Then came Clara. I disliked her intensely, to the point where I was banned from watching the show after The Rings of Akhaten (I snuck round to my friend's house to watch Cold War) and didn't watch again until Name of the Doctor.

Then came the news Matt was regenerating. An excerpt from a note of my thoughts at the time "I can't say I'm too surprised, but I don't know how I feel about it. I guess I'm disappointed but I won't miss him too much. I have mixed feelings. I guess if it was the Pond era then I would've been really sad but not so much with Clara." Of course, the rumours of his replacement quickly began, and Peter Capaldi was the frontrunner from very early on. I hadn't seen him in anything (other than Doctor Who but I don't remember having any opinion on his performance there) but I was okay with the rumours. Watching him come out of the doorway on Doctor Who Live: The Next Doctor, something settled within me. It was instant - this was the doctor. Despite my lack of knowledge about him, everything in me screamed that he was born to play the doctor. The future was in safe hands.

I won't bother going over my feelings about Day of the Doctor, that's for another day if ever, but I was suitably excited to see Peter's eyebrows, and went on about them for ages after the episode. In the end, when Matt regenerated, I was sad. It was an emotional episode and despite my opinion souring by the end, he had been such a big part of my life and shaped the way I consumed media and shared my love of television with friends after the primary school playgrounds were left behind. And then we met Twelve and saw a preview of series 8, and all my sadness faded into sheer excitement.

Series 8 brought a trip to Cardiff for the premiere of Deep Breath. Fifteen year old me was captivated by the red carpet and all the actors who we were yet to meet (Samuel Anderson! Michelle Gomez!) and Peter and Jenna themselves! (Jenna especially in that red dress, how I didn't know I liked girls from that day is truly a mystery.) The episode itself was... bad, even if it took me several years to admit it, but my love for the show felt as though it was at a peak all over again - and actually the red carpet experience was probably a foundation for going to soap awards and comic cons going forward. Waiting 3 weeks for the second episode was agony, as was the two week wait to talk about the episode itself - the clockwork droids had relatives! The gatekeeper of nethersphere showed up in the first episode?!?!?!? Was the half-face man pushed or did he jump? (Still waiting on the answer to that one Moffat.)

To cut a long story short, series 8 was everything. Series 9... not so much. My disappointment and anger over series 7 was back, in a limited way after Zygon Invasion/Zygon Inversion, but after Heaven Sent in a massive way. I felt the show was ruined again. Then came series 10 and, to put it bluntly, any companion that wasn't Clara was a win in my books. Bill did more than win me over though! Series 10 was a triumph and is still my favourite series. I was devastated at the thought of losing Peter. He was my second favourite doctor, next to David (he was joint favourite even then really but I was still so in love with the tenth doctor that I wasn't willing to admit it to myself and honestly it's only been in the last two years that I've admitted to myself and others that he's now my actual favourite).

The Kris Marshall rumours began and continued relentlessly, and I hated it. Despite my misgivings over a female doctor back in 2013, I was now in favour of a more diverse doctor. I could not handle another white man. It was with trepidation that I watched the dreadful Wimbledon final (nothing against Wimbledon, everything against RF), praying that Kris Marshall wasn't about to appear in front of my screen. I had a shrine next to me, dressed up and filmed my reaction, it was all very cute. Jodie emerged from under the hood and my relief was immense. Some of my tumblr tags from that day "I've never yelled so much in my life, she was outstanding in broadchuch and I just??? It hasn't sunk in yet, I've been watching this show since I was 7 and never in my wildest dreams did I actually believe we'd get a woman doctor, and someone as amazing as her. I can't believe my fave character as a kid is now a girl, she was already an icon but now she can be an inspiration to thousands of little girls like I was". It was a breath of fresh air and despite how sad I was to lose such an amazing doctor, I knew the future was in safe hands - mostly. Privately, I worried. Jodie had been amazing in Broadchurch but I'd only ever seen her act miserable and I wasn't sure she had the range to pull off the light hearted, fun aspects of the doctor that were so central to the doctor. Still, I was so hopeful.

The regeneration episode came and I fell head over heels from the moment the ring dropped to the floor. I remember thinking how lucky I was, that I could love a show so much that I was so devastated to lose such an amazing character, but know the future was so bright. In a way thirteen would put it eventually - two hearts; one happy, one sad. I had nothing to be worried about after all. Her era brought the brightest and happiest time of my life as a doctor who fan - I finally met the doctor! I engaged properly with the fan community and made amazing friends. I got to see a sapphic doctor who relationship front and centre. Flux brought my second favourite ever series, and gosh, Yaz is just my favourite companion ever, joining Bill and Rose as the companions that have my entire heart. I've never felt so loved by a show.

Bringing us (mostly) to now. Jodie announced she was leaving on the day I left my job which was mostly very funny to me but honestly the whole thing wasn't terribly unexpected - she'd filmed three series like the previous three doctors, and I'm sure there were rumours going around before that she was going. It was almost a year before Ncuti was announced and my reaction was very ?????? because it was all so lowkey and weird. But I was excited! I hadn't seen Ncuti in everything but it was about time we had a doctor of colour and he's Scottish so that was enough for me! A little disappointed it wasn't a woman again but I know we'll get more chances to be the doctor. And he's great so far! I love his energy and he's such a fantastic advocate for the show. I'm so excited to see his take on the doctor properly and I'm sure that once again, the best is yet to come.

Peter Capaldi, though, I've never had such an instant reaction to a casting announcement, with no worries, no sense of disappointment, nothing but pure joy. And my goodness, was I right to be so sure. Peter, I adore you. Happy ten years, my love.

#about me #this is a whole essay and i don't expect anyone to read it. but i just really wanted to get my feelings out #i actually wrote this a couple of weeks ago but it seemed really random to post it then so here it is being posted on the anniversary #doctor who #as an aside i have rewatched s9 and appreciate it a lot more and i also think clara is great #ah i just love this show #and i love how the show has managed to give me the most comforting episodes and series when i've needed it the most #peter capaldi though... oh i would give anything to experience his era over for the first time. and in particular the premiere #if i'd known then that walking past me was my favourite doctor. and the master! i'd have cherished it so much more

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paganinpurple · 1 year

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AO3 Etiquette -UPDATED

Based on both decent and not so decent replies, I have made some changes to my original post below.

It would seem a whole new kind of AO3 reader/writer is emerging and it is becoming clear not everyone quite understands how the website community works. Here is some basic guidance on how most people expect you to go about using AO3 to keep this a fun community archive that funtions correctly:

As well as likes, kudos is for when the story was interesting enough to make you finish reading. If it sucked or was badly written, you probably left. If you finished it, you liked it - so kudos.

If you really liked it, you should try to comment. It can be long and detailed or a literal keysmash. Writers don't care, we just love comments.

No critisism unless the author has specifically asked or agreed to hear it (so use your notes to say if you want some constructive feedback). Even constructive critisism is a no-no unless an author note tells you it's okay. No, posting it online is not an open invitation for that. Many people write as a fun hobby or a way to cope with, among other things, insecurity and just want to share. Don't ruin that for them. I've seen so many authors just stop writing coz they can't handle the negative emotions the critism brings, and it's only meant to be a fun thing shared for free (pointing out tagging errors is not included in this).

Do not comment to ask the author to write/update something else. It's tacky and off-putting and will probably have the opposite effect than the one you want.

There is no algorithm, it's an archive. Use the search and filter function to add/remove the pairings/characters/tropes etc. you want to read about and it will find you the fics that fit the bill.

For this to work, writers must tag and rate stories. This avoids readers finding the wrong things and missing the stuff they want. I don't care how cringy that trope is in your eyes - it gets tagged.

The tag exception is if you don't want to tag a million things or spoil your story, you can rate it as "chose not to use warnings," and maybe tag the bare minimum.

Don't censor tags. How can someone exclude a tag if the word isn't typed out correctly? There are no content bans for terms so don't censor them.

If the tags are mostly content/trigger warnings, especially if they are things considered very fucked up or graphic, you might want to use "dead dove - do not eat" to ensure people know that you're not messing around with tags and what they get is exactly what you've warned them about.

Character A/Character B means a ROMANTIC or SEXUAL relationship of some kind. Character A&Character B is PLATONIC, like friendship or family.

Nothing is banned. This is an rule because banning one thing is a slipperly slope to banning another and another, until nothing is allowed anymore. Do not expect anyone to censor for you. Because of the tags system, you are responsible for your own reading experience.

People can create new chapters and sequels/fic series any time after they "complete" a story. So it's considered perfectly normal to subscribe, even to a finished story. You can even subscribe to the author instead just to cover your bases.

Do not repost stories or change the publishing date without an extremely good reason (like a complete top to bottom rewrite or an exchange youve written for going public). It's an archive, not social media. No one cares what's the most recent, only what fits their tag needs.

Instead of deleting a story you wrote if you hate it - consider making it anonymous or orphaning it so others can still enjoy it, without it being connected to your name anymore. If you still want to delete it, fair enough.

It's come to my attention that metaworks ARE allowed on AO3, which is something I wasn't aware of. So if you do post an essay or theory, please tag it as such so others can choose to search for it or exclude it. Art is also allowed.

The only reason this archive works is because NON ONE PROFITS. Do not link to your ko-fi or patreon or mention monetary gain in any way or you violate the terms and risk having your account removed. If anyone does link, it leaves the archive open to people claiming it's for profit and having the whole thing removed.

I KNOW there's plenty more I missed but I'm trying to cover most of the basics that people seem to be struggling with.

I invite anyone to add to this, but please explain, don't berate.

#ao3 #using ao3 #archive of our own #fanfiction #fanworks

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ineffable-romantics · 9 months

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Some thoughts on why and how I believe Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship would incorporate sex/why I do not read them as wholly asexual:

This is something I've seen the most discourse about in this fandom, and I've had a few thoughts of my own that I really wanted to expand upon in a full meta/character analysis post. I do understand that this can be a contentious topic, so first, let me clarify a few things:

First of all, this is going to be long. Tbh it probably won't be that organized either. I ramble and I'm not very good at editing, so just... you know. Be warned. (*Hi, it's me from 2 days after writing this; I'm really not kidding, it's LONG)

These are all my own thoughts. They might not be hot takes, because recently I've seen more than a few people come to the same conclusions on a lot of these points as I have. But I've also had these notes in my drafts for about a week and a half now, and have been continuously adding to it as things have occurred to me. This post is essentially just somewhere for me to collect the separate but related meta I've been kicking around in my head.

I fully respect anyone who does see and prefer an asexual reading of this relationship. These are my own thoughts and interpretations as someone who is not asexual. I am in the LGBT+ community, so while I do know a few things about the asexuality spectrum, I am by no means an expert.

This is NOT something I expect, need, or even necessarily want the show (or, God forbid, Neil's tumblr ask box) to address. Tonally, it's just not that kind of show. Newt and Anathema's sex scene was very much played for laughs, and it worked for that reason. If the show found a way to address it in a way that was both appropriate for the tone of the show and ultimately satisfying, then great! But there is so much more to this relationship than sex, and I didn't need a kiss to confirm their love, so I certainly don't need a sex scene. As immortal beings (as I assume they'll stay) there is so much of the rest of their lives we'll never get to see. You can headcanon them as asexual and potentially be right. I can headcanon them as not and be equally potentially right. Again, these are just a collection of my own thoughts, because I think the question of sexuality (or lack thereof) is just as interesting a facet of these characters as any other.

Note: Tbh I've been second-guessing this whole post and debated deleting the whole thing several times for being silly or unnecessary, bc I don't want anyone to think that this is the only thing I care about when it comes to this story/characters. But if nothing else, it's inspired me to write in a way that nothing has in a very long time, so I've decided it's worth continuing, if for no other reason than that.

This is going to be a mixed bag of textual reading, subtextual reading, and a full-on reach or two. It's been a while since I've been in an English class, but if my teachers expected me to find a deeper meaning behind blue curtains, you can expect me to read too deeply into the symbolism of a loaded rifle or an ox rib. (This is probably not what my professors had in mind when grading my literary analysis papers but oh well) My point is, if it feels like a reach, I'm as aware of it as you are. I am in no way saying that all (or even any) of my points made were deliberate on the part of Neil or the actors or the writers or the directors. I am no longer the delulu Apple Tree Yard child of my youth, I promise.

If anything said here is in any way offensive or hurtful to anyone in the asexual community, please do not hesitate to message me or comment and let me know exactly what it was. I promise you it is not my intention to do so, and am happy to clarify or outright edit anything that reads that way.

With all that being said, let's talk about why I think Crowley and Aziraphale would absolutely fuck nasty incorporate sex into their relationship.

Note: I am out of practice with essay writing, so I think I'll just go down the bullet points of notes I have been making, and expand on each as best I can

Food

Where better to start than with Aziraphale's introduction to Pleasures Of The Flesh? (Just a heads up, this entire post may feel very Aziraphale-heavy, and with good reason).

This might be the least hot take here. We've all seen the Job minisode. We've all seen That Scene.

Whether this was intentional or not, the symbolism here is off the charts. Eve was tempted by an apple. So why not go a similar route and tempt Aziraphale with another fruit, or cheese, or bread, or literally anything else for his first experience with food? Instead, we go with a huge, glistening slab of fresh meat that he proceeds to absolutely go feral upon, moaning and gasping into his meal while Crowley watches with what definitely doesn't look to be disgust or even satisfaction with a good temptation. There's surprise at the ferocity of Aziraphale's appetite, certainly. But ultimately he looks to be intensely fascinated by it, while the thunder crashes, the music crescendos, and the earth literally shakes around them.

(It's also interesting to note how very little it takes for Crowley to tempt him with the ox rib. One murmured suggestion, a bit of unwavering eye contact, and vavoom Aziraphale immediately meets him in the middle.)

Cut to Aziraphale devouring the rest of the meat with Crowley splayed back on a makeshift bed, drinking wine and continuing to watch him indulge through half-lidded eyes. Outside a thunderstorm rages while they're learning secrets about each other in warm flickering firelight. It's cosy, it's intimate, and if they'd thrown in a bearskin throw blanket, it might as well be a post-coital scene straight out of Game of Thrones.

The next time (chronologically) we see them discuss food is when Aziraphale "tempts" Crowley with oysters in Rome. So Crowley first tempts Aziraphale with meat and then Aziraphale tempts Crowley with what is widely regarded to be an aphrodisiac. Interesting.

And then chronologically after that, the Arrangement begins to form, which has always reeked of a friends with benefits situation. Just to throw that in there.

It's What Humans Do

In the very first episode, we're shown Gabriel's obvious disgust and bewilderment towards Aziraphale eating sushi, calling it "gross matter" and being proud of the fact that he does not sully his body with it. Aziraphale initially tries to defend his own enjoyment in it, before passing it off as something that humans do, as something he simply has to do in order to blend in (which we know very well is not the case).

He does this again in season 2, passing off Nina and Maggie being in love as "something humans do". But it isn't, is it? Angels are beings of love, and can sense it, and understand very well what it is... up to a point. Even romantic love is obviously within their wheelhouse, given what we now know happened between Gabriel and Beelzebub (we'll come back to them).

What the "humans do" that angels wouldn't understand is messy, physical forms of love.

But here's the thing: Aziraphale and Crowley love doing what the humans do. They love drinking, they (or at least Aziraphale) love eating. They love music. Crowley loves driving and sleeping and watching rom-coms and sitcoms. Aziraphale loves reading and doing magic and earning little licenses and certificates for achievement in his various hobbies. They love to playact at being human so much that they've stopped playacting and started building a genuinely human lifestyle for themselves and with each other.

Once together in an unambiguously romantic sense, why do we think they wouldn't also want to explore one of the most prominent, intimate, powerful human expressions of love and desire with each other?

Angels, Demons, & Asexuality

Here's where I really want to clarify that in no way do I mean that sex is necessary for a healthy, fulfilling, and loving romantic relationship, or that the lack of desire for sex makes you any less human. Asexuality is a sexuality as valid and human as any. What I would say is that it is definitely in the human minority compared to allosexuality.

Angels and demons, on the other hand, are predominately asexual. Sexless/genderless unless Making An Effort. (Which, btw, is a concept introduced as early as the original book; why even bring it up as a possibility? Why not keep angels/demons being sexless/asexual as a hard and fast rule, if not to open up the potential for later use? Chekhov's Effort, if you will. And isn't that something that Aziraphale in particular is shown to do time and time again? He makes an effort in French and driving and magic, doesn't he?)

And this is why I don't believe Aziraphale and Crowley necessarily need to be asexual, narratively. There is already a huge amount of ace rep within the angels and demons (and no, not just the horrible ones. Muriel also doesn't "drink the tea" and has no reason or desire thus far to Make An Effort, and there are certainly other angels and demons who aren't horrible like the archangels seem to be who likely wouldn't Make An Effort either).

The central conflict for Aziraphale and Crowley is that they are on their own side, the ones who went native, the ones who are so different in so many ways from their respective hives. It would make sense for them to also break away from traditional angel/demon asexuality.

I say "traditional angel/demon asexuality", because I would also like to note that I would absolutely not rule out demisexuality for either of them. This post is being written to as a response to people who specifically believe that they (like the rest of the angels/demons seem to be) would be sex-averse in a relationship, and that it wouldn't be a factor in their relationship. I could easily read them as demisexual, but I do think there would be no real way of verifying this, because they've never been able to form as close an emotional relationship with anyone else but each other. Certainly not in heaven, and I can't imagine they would be able to form that kind of attachment with any of the humans, who they love and emulate but ultimately regard as the separate species they are. So yes, they could either be allosexual or demisexual, in my opinion.

Then again, now that I think about it, Making An Effort itself could be a great metaphor for demisexuality, since they would be entirely sexless/asexual until they have enough of an emotional connection with someone to consciously manifest otherwise. Since the other angels and demons don't generally form those types of emotional connections with anyone, there hasn't been a precedent for it.

Except...

Brielzebub

We do have a precedent for it now, don't we? Gabriel and Beelzebub fell in love. They are a direct foil for Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship, speedrunning right through their courtship and finding their happily ever after on the other side of things.

For being such a 1 to 1 comparison, it feels deliberate that they did not kiss. They held hands, they were gooey with each other, but they did not kiss. That feels like such a deliberate thing to omit when you know what's to come at the end of the episode between Crowley and Aziraphale.

And going back to the food = sex metaphor for a moment, let's notice how even as they fell in love over the years, even when pints and crisps were there on the table in front of them, they never felt the desire to reach out for them. They didn't need to. It's a date (love story) even if you aren't eating dinner (sleeping together).

Yes, I know Jim liked hot chocolate. No, I am not counting it because I don't consider Jim and Gabriel to be the same person with the same proclivities, and Jim was highly suggestible at the time anyway.

Gabriel and Brielzebub's big happily ever after moment (as of now) was one between two asexual supernatural beings. They did not need to kiss to drive the point home. They showed what Crowley and Aziraphale could have, if they would only acknowledge it.

Crowley & Aziraphale's Dissatisfaction

But they do have that already, don't they? If you really think about it, what do Gabriel and Beelzebub do with each other that Crowley and Aziraphale don't already? They hold hands, they spend time together, they create little rituals, they give gifts, they're visibly and verbally affectionate with each other, etc. They are more or less already in a romantic asexual marriage relationship with each other, aren't they?

And it doesn't seem to be enough for either of them.

At the beginning of the season, Crowley is immediately shown to be unsatisfied with the way things are. Obviously part of it comes from living in his car, but it seems to be more than that (especially since Aziraphale makes it clear that the bookshop is just as much Crowley's as his, implying that he could have been living there the whole time and is choosing not to, for some reason?). You could argue he's feeling unmoored without Hell telling him what to do, but isn't that what he wanted? Isn't that what he still wants, by the end of the season? All season long, he's never indicated the desire for a new job, or a new project. He stopped the apocalypse because he wanted the freedom to openly spend time with Aziraphale, to spend his time on Earth however he sees fit. Until Gabriel arrives, he has exactly that (minus a flat).

So where does the dissatisfaction come from? And if it represents anything to do with his relationship, what does he want out of it that he isn't getting already?

I think Crowley only really comes to the realisation of what he's missing when Nina names it for him, not only putting them in the category of romantic, but physical (outright asking if they are sleeping together). These two posts [1], [2] go into more detail about what I mean, but I think it really pushes him into acknowledging that their relationship is more human than either of them have stopped to consider, and what that might mean as far as everything a human relationship can entail.

After all, Nina and Maggie only advised that he should talk to Aziraphale, make clear his feelings. The decision to kiss him, to tip them over the edge from nonphysical to physical, that was all him. And no, kissing isn't sex, but I wonder how taboo even that might be in the kind of all-encompassing asexuality most angels seem to identify with. (If they're disgusted by food and drink, I can only imagine what they think of snogging, much less sex.)

Aziraphale doesn't have this moment of someone observing their relationship from the outside. He loves Crowley, and as of 1941 probably even knows he's in love with him in a way that Crowley doesn't understand yet. Which makes sense, since love is technically his job, he'd be more likely to recognise it for what it is.

However, Aziraphale's reference for romance and relationships is Jane Austen. It's chaste. It's dancing and dinner and doing sweet things for each other and roses and candles and handholding. He contextualises his love for Crowley in that soft fantasy sort of way, where it's there, it's obviously there, but it's neat and easy and unspoken. Not to quote Glee in this, the year of our lord 2023, but it's all very "the touch of the fingertips is as sexy as it gets".

Someone should tell that to Aziraphale's face, then.

I'm not going to pretend I know what Michael Sheen's script notes were, but there were definitely some Choices™ made. Because yes, there were plenty of moments in both seasons with Aziraphale looking at Crowley in a sweet, loving, smitten way. And then there were moments that were yearning.

But yearning for what, exactly? All of those sappy Jane Austen tropes already apply to the two of them. So why are there moments where Aziraphale is looking Crowley up and down like the last eclair in the window and licking his lips and visibly exhaling like he's trying to get in control of himself (see: Bastille scene + Crowley telling Muriel to ask him if they have any other questions about love)? Why is Aziraphale not only unconcerned when Crowley shoves him bodily up against a wall in s1, but staring at his lips and a beat too late in noticing Sister Mary's arrival? Why are some of his lines so suggestive? I'm sorry, but the car ride after the church explosion might as well have been the beginning of a Pizza Man porn with a really weird Blitz theme. If even my mother picked up on that vibe, I can't imagine it wasn't intentional on part of both the dialogue and the delivery.

(This section may feel like more of a reach/joke, but I'm really only 20% joking. These are writers and actors who are EXTREMELY good at their jobs; they know what they were doing here.)

More importantly, I don't think Aziraphale is even aware that there is more to what he wants. He lives in the Jane Austen fantasy and it never even occurs to him that he might be interested in anything further. It never even occurs to him that, as an angel, there is anything further to be interested in in the first place. Until Crowley forces it to occur to him. Just like I believe Nina forced Crowley to confront the idea that romantic love is what he's been feeling all along, I believe Crowley forced Aziraphale to confront the idea that physical intimacy is something he's been wanting, without even realising.

Aziraphale's Hedonism

Expanding on Aziraphale for a moment. We talked about his relationship with food, but we all know that Aziraphale is defined by his love of things that Feel Good.

It isn't just that he and Crowley love human things. Aziraphale loves the best of the best, or at least his version of it. He doesn't just love food, he loves going to fancy restaurants. He doesn't just love clothes, he loves soft, cosy, warm, plush clothes, or shiny, flashy, bougie fashion. He loves the warmth of tea and cocoa, loves getting drunk, and sitting in a comfy chair in the sunlight. He doesn't just experience, he indulges.

Given the emphasis put on things that Aziraphale loves just because they Feel Good, it feels narratively strange to assume that he wouldn't enjoy the feeling of being touched, or that he wouldn't be willing to try it, at least once, with someone he cared very deeply for. And just like the ox rib, I think that once he gets the first taste of things, he would absolutely tip over into complete and utter self-indulgence.

Dancing

I also think that dancing could be construed as a huge metaphor here. After all, we're told flat-out that angels don't Dance. Except one.

I would argue that Aziraphale, in fact, Made An Effort to learn how to Dance. He threw himself into the gavotte with delight (at a Victorian gay club; noted) and worked hard to be good at it. He's chomping at the bit to Dance with Crowley, working up the nerve to ask him with undeniably romantic intent and eagerness. So, angels don't Dance... unless they Make An Effort to do so.

We are told that demons, on the other hand, do Dance, but not well. Makes sense, since they're the ones who would want to encourage a deadly sin like lust, but have as little understanding of human love and physical intimacy as the angels. Crowley, however, is shown to be an excellent dancer at the ball, especially in his compatibility with Aziraphale.

(But Aziraphale WandaVisioned the ball so everyone knew how to dance! Yes, he did. However, the rest of the brainwashing doesn't seem to affect Crowley in any way, and they did actually live through the time period where this sort of dancing was a social norm; I'd be surprised if he never needed to learn. After all, the demons can't spell either, and Crowley is at least functionally literate, as far as we know.)

As of today, it's also been confirmed that when Aziraphale asked Crowley to dance, Crowley replied with "you don't dance." Not "WE don't dance". So going along with the metaphor, Crowley is just now discovering that Dancing is something Aziraphale is interested in at all, much less with him, and not denying that he himself is interested in Dancing. In his defense, I believe he was asleep for a few years while Aziraphale was learning the gavotte, so he wasn't exactly aware of Aziraphale's hot girl summer.

Love Languages

I want to expand on that; Crowley and Aziraphale's compatibility. Specifically in regards to their individual love languages.

We all know Crowley's love language is Acts of Service. I don't think there's any debate there. He loves it, Aziraphale loves it, they're both aware of it, we're all aware of it, God and Satan are aware of it, no surprise there.

You may disagree with me, but I believe Aziraphale's love language is Physical Touch, for a number of reasons. One of which being his aforementioned hedonism. Aziraphale likes things that Feel Good, remember? He likes soft clothes, and well-worn books. Neil himself has said that they like holding hands. And any time he is taken by surprise (Brielzebub getting together, the wave of love in Tadfield, etc.) what is the first thing he does? Reaches out for Crowley. He stops him with a hand to the chest in the pub. He leads him by the hand to the dance floor. He guides him by the waist in the graveyard. He reaches out during the entire Brielzebub scene, whether he can reach Crowley or not. Despite his own turmoil, he grasps at Crowley's back during the kiss.

The one time Crowley reaches out for him (not counting the kiss yet; we'll get there), he is aggressively pushed against a wall (by someone he loves and trusts) with a complete and utter lack of concern (and perhaps some interest, depending on how you read it).

And when he isn't reaching out for anyone, or there isn't anyone to reach out to? Well, he's wringing his own hands together, squeezing his own fingers, as if to find that physical comfort in himself.

So. With that theory in mind, we have Aziraphale (Physical Touch) + Crowley (Acts of Service). Throw in 6000+ years of deep love, cherished companionship, and forcibly repressed longing, and there is a very real potential of this combination resulting in fierce sexual compatibility. Where Aziraphale would want to touch and be touched, to indulge in physical pleasure with someone he adores, in the same the way he indulges in every other fine thing in his life. And where Crowley would want to indulge him in return, to give him everything he wants, and to take pleasure in Aziraphale's pleasure, in the same way he enjoys watching him take joy in food everything else.

So Aziraphale is an angel who is insecure about his own less-than-holy desires, who would want to treat Crowley like a luxury to be touched and cherished and adored. And Crowley is a demon who has, over the millennia, been unhappy about how they've been forced to deny even their friendship with each other, who would want Aziraphale to feel comfortable and safe and encouraged to indulge in earthly delights. That sounds like a stunning recipe for sexual compatibility to me.

"You said 'trust me'" / "And you did"

Just like the Job minisode, the Blitz is RIFE with symbolism (intentional or otherwise). This one will be quick, but I did want to touch on it because I thought it was interesting. Maybe I'm reaching at this point, but I'm assuming you read the tin.

First of all, Crowley not wanting to admit to never firing a gun before; comes off as someone who very much does not want to admit to their crush that they're a virgin ("You must have done this lots of times!" / "Umm.... yyyyyeah.")

(You could make the argument that Aziraphale having a firearms license and a Derringer in a hollowed-out book is symbolic of him not being a virgin while Crowley is. I disagree, for reasons I'll go into later, but it's a valid reading. However, I see it more like keeping a condom in your wallet; it's there in case you need it, but the opportunity has not yet risen no pun intended.)

More importantly, the theme of this entire minisode is trust. We already know they trust each other with their lives against the rest of Heaven, Hell, and the world. But specifically, this is about the importance of having complete trust in your partner in a charged, physically vulnerable, intimate moment, where the only danger is between the two of you.

Aziraphale needs to believe Crowley would never hurt him if he can help it. Crowley needs to trust Aziraphale's unwavering blind faith in him. Frankly, it all feels very symbolic of two people deeply in love losing their respective virginities with each other.

The trick is a success, and they share an intimate candlelit dinner in which they reaffirm their faith in each other. Aziraphale also begins to voice his agreement with Crowley, that maybe Heaven's rules shouldn't have to be as black and white as they are, and that there are benefits to... blurring the lines, shades of grey, wink wink (at which point even my mom was like, whoa guys, this is a family show).

Btw also: Can we all agree how much it looked like Crowley was getting ready to get a lapdance in that one scene? You know the one.

Also also: "Aim for my mouth"? Come on.

The Birds & The Bees

Now that I think of it, there's also something to be said for the fact that Crowley and Aziraphale are both obviously familiar with where babies come from (how they're made and how they're born) while the other angels aren't.

Something something Aziraphale and Crowley fundamentally understand sex and reproduction in a way the other angels (and probably demons) very much do not, nor have any desire to.

Probably not important. Just thought it was worth mentioning.

The Kiss™ & Religious Trauma

The Kiss. Where to even begin?

This has definitely been the hardest one to start, because there is so much going on here that I definitely won't be able to cover it all, and will certainly miss a few things here and there.

Aziraphale's reaction to the kiss afterwards is the most interesting to me. And I don't mean directly after, I don't mean the "I forgive you" part. I mean the way he touches his lips when Crowley is no longer in the room and he no longer needs to save face, when he is completely alone. Had it been directly after the kiss, it would have been rightfully read as horror, or disgust, a shield to discourage further action.

It's not. It isn't just a touch, it's a press. As desperate and angry and unexpected and imperfect as the kiss had been, Aziraphale is pressing it into himself, recreating the feeling as best he can. Beneath all the poor timing and shock and hurt from their fight and fallout, I think it's fair to say that it was something he enjoyed. Something he doesn't think he should enjoy, something that Feels Good that he only allows himself to indulge in when completely alone.

Remember, Aziraphale's idea of love is Jane Austen and gentleness and courtship and fantasy. If he'd ever even considered kissing an option, it might have been gentle pecks, cheek kisses, forehead kiss, hand kisses. Soft, safe, chaste affection.

Crowley's kiss turns all of that on its head. He introduces physical intimacy in a very real, very messy, very human way that I don't think Aziraphale ever even considered could apply to them. Considering what other angels are like and what they look down on, even Aziraphale's Jane Austen fantasies probably would have been considered taboo.

So for their first kiss to be rough and desperate and passionate in the way it was, of course he was confused and in shock. It was deeply physical, and as overwhelming and awful as it was in the moment, it Felt Good. Enough that he grasped at Crowley and kissed back, if only just for a moment, before stopping himself. Enough that he actively pressed it into his lips afterwards, in private, to remember.

I adore how Neil has decided to evolve these characters past the first book/season. More so in this season, Aziraphale and Crowley have both become such interesting allegories for queer people on either side of the spectrum of toxic religion. Aziraphale in particular obviously, because he is the side that so desperately wants to believe, to make a difference, and to unlearn all of the propaganda he's been fed over such a long time. Just like so much of organised religion, there is so much that he is told, time and time again, that he should not want, that he is silly or stupid or outright wrong for wanting. It reminds me so much of the severe Catholic guilt one might feel for wanting/engaging in sex for the first time, and the stigma of being queer layered on top of that.

What is so critical to Aziraphale's character is that he goes on wanting, and more than that, actively pursues. He was convinced to go up against Heaven and Hell and stop all of Armageddon because he wanted to go on listening to music and eating lunch and reading books and enjoying the simple company of the person he cares most deeply for, even if that person is supposed to be the enemy.

All this to say that if angels are as generally asexual/sex-averse as I believe them to be, narratively speaking, it would make sense for Aziraphale to be singular in that regard as well. Mirroring his first experience with food, it would make sense for Crowley to be the one to first introduce this new messy, physical, human dynamic between them, for Aziraphale to hesitate (obviously we are at the Hesitation phase at the moment), and then (eventually) for him to dive in wholeheartedly, to absolutely glut himself on this new thing that Feels Good. It would make sense for his character development to show him overcoming his metaphorical Catholic guilt and pursuing the sexual intimacy most (if not all) of the other angels would scorn.

(I can't help but remember that plot idea Neil described from the unwritten sequel, with Aziraphale in a hotel room trying to watch a full porno by way of the free 2-minute teaser clips so he wasn't technically sinning by paying for it. I so hope this is used in season 3, because gosh, I wonder why Aziraphale would suddenly be so interested in observing human physical intimacy after 6,000 years. Lonely and doing a little surreptitious research there, angel?)

Crowley, on the other hand, is the queer person who has broken free from his toxic religion. He prides himself on being his own person, on their his own side. He doesn't have the hang-ups Aziraphale does. He doesn't worry that he's going to be judged or cast aside for wanting things he's not supposed to. So it only makes sense for him to be the first one to suggest/initiate physical intimacy. It makes sense for him to be the one who "goes too fast" (another fantastic example of this dynamic beginning as early as s1; what is that conversation in the car meant to represent, if not Aziraphale being overwhelmed by the intensity of their relationship, and his fear of succumbing to it when he believes he shouldn't? It's also interesting that this is the first conversation to take place in Soho, just after watching Aziraphale realise he's caught feelings for a demon, with the red glow of lust serving as the backdrop).

Do I think the kiss in and of itself was sexual? No. I think it was a passionate and devastating last-ditch effort on Crowley's part to convey the way he feels for Aziraphale. Not just that he loves him, but that he loves him in the most human way possible. But I do think that the kiss represents how they can move forward from here, and what they might want to explore with each other once they feel free enough to do so.

In Conclusion

I am sure, deep in my bones (unless we are explicitly told otherwise), that this was both of their first kisses no, I'm not counting the gavotte, and that neither of them have ever thought to do anything else physical with the humans while they have been on Earth. Like I said before, they adore the human race and lifestyle in general, but ultimately view them as a separate species altogether, and they seem mostly happy to keep to themselves and each other, unless otherwise necessary. I just can't see either of them being drawn enough to a human to pursue anything close to sex. If Crowley in particular has had anything to do with sex in the context of temptations, I'm positive he would be inciting lust amongst the humans themselves, not involving himself directly. At least not that directly.

So, like every other human experience they've had on Earth, sex is something new that they could explore together, just the two of them, on their own side. A deeply intimate, tangible declaration of their love and everything they've gone through to earn it. A visceral finger to give both Heaven and Hell. A renewed appreciation for their corporations and for each other's. A enjoyable method for immortal beings to simply pass the time in each other's company. A new and exciting way to Feel Good, and all the variations that come with it.

You might agree with this post, or you might not. Whether this is something that is ever addressed or not, it doesn't matter to me. This is a brilliant love story either way, and I genuinely feel so privileged to witness it.

But I just can't find it in myself to imagine, given everything we know about these two characters, that sex isn't an experience they would both consume with wholehearted enthusiasm, curiosity, and profound, ineffable adoration.

___________________________________

Bonus feature: the very silly notes I made to myself that inspired this post

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verysium · 2 months

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I’ve been seeing some discourse around twitter about the blue lock boys and whether they’d be a loyal bf or not 😭 Curious to know who do you think would be more inclined to cheat or who just wouldn’t at all!!!

I saw someone say sae would 100% cheat like whattt I feel like he wouldn’t even bother looking at anyone else if he already has someone (Cuz I mean dating him would likely mean you actually mean something to him) but I digress

ok anon you had me pulling up a whole argumentative essay here cus WHO TF SAID SAE WOULD 100% CHEAT??? 😔 that mischaracterization is so painfully inaccurate. twitter really took the whole emotionally unavailable itoshi archetype and ran with it. let me just clear the air here because my man deserves some explanation.

sae itoshi would not cheat. as in capital N and capital O. he took nearly an entire decade off his life just to work on his own issues and finally form a functional and healthy relationship with another human being. and you're telling me he's just going to let all that wash down the drain for someone else? 😒 twitter logic really be showing its illogical side here. apparently a man can be loyal to a professional sports career for eighteen years, but he can't be loyal to his significant other.

i think this misunderstanding probably happened cus of shidou. people read the manga and saw that sae dropped rin for a bug-eyed freak and automatically assumed he was disloyal. 😑 let me just say two things here:

(1) sae and shidou's relationship is strictly professional. imagine being stuck in an god awful corporate office with coworkers who bore you with their weaponized incompetence and a boss who annoys the living shit out of you. and then one day, the company hires a new recruit who is probably the most unhinged and debauched creature known to man. you're probably left wondering how he even got hired in the first place. but then you find out...he's useful. he takes risks and gets a high return on what he invests. it's impulsive and stupid, really. but at least it's unconventional and outside-the-box. he has your interest piqued. that's basically sae and shidou in a nutshell.

(2) just because sae gave shidou his number after the u-20 game does NOT mean he would do the same to any other person who would try to encroach on your relationship. and let's be real here. sae would get one text from shidou and block his contact.

anyways, here is my analysis on the bllk boys in general. introducing the anti-cheating to pro-cheating spectrum:

(A) cannot cheat under any circumstance (as in they already hate the fact that they live on a planet with 8.1 billion other people who are not you):

itoshi brothers (atp they don't even have the physical or mental capacity to entertain a third party), ness, reo

(B) cannot cheat due to physical incapability (literally cannot pull anyone within a five-meter radius to cheat with):

ego, igarashi, raichi, bachira (not that he's in any way unattractive...it's just...i feel like he would purposefully act weird to drive off people who aren't you)

yukimiya, barou, kunigami, noa, loki, gagamaru, chigiri, niko, hiori, karasu (baby boy literally felt inferior cus his crush was the cutest in his class), kurona (head empty, just you)

(D) would not cheat (on you but everyone else is not included)

isagi (unintentionally a homewrecker to others but would never let anyone homewreck his relationship with you), leonardo (idk why but i just don't trust him entirely)

(E) could cheat (depends on what they get out of it):

kaiser, shidou (honestly what did you expect when you willingly dated a blonde man...)

(F) would cheat (either proven by canon or they accidentally fucked up somehow):

otoya, oliver, nagi

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sofiaruelle · 6 months

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Oh wow, I was not expecting a whole drawing of them trying the dance and falling around. It's very beautifully done, I rmmbr just staring in awe for a while at first 🩵

I have another odd question about the she trio/ass gang, which u don't have to draw

Cause I saw a little video of Harvey going hard; dancing to MiseryxCPR(xReese's Puffs) and it had me laughing for a long while, and I wondered who would be the ones singing the song if say the stardrop saloon had some kind of karaoke night

My head tells me both Sam and Abagail would end up doing Reeses's puffs, but that would leave one of the other songs without a host :/

Harvey would probably end up saying stuff about how cpr doesn't require mouth-to-mouth anymore or smthn, and Shane probably worried Marnie would walk in-or just, too drunk off his ass having fun to care 🤔

nah man i just have to draw them. and oh look I even have another essay under readmore! 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂

✨Also my commissions are open! ✨ if anyone is interested! :D< please reblog/share the og comm sheet ,if you can! it would help me a lot thank you!!!

Honestly i can imagine them all just being pissed drunk before attempting to sing the song😂. i know fersure the SHE trio would require more liquid courage for it (heck even to join/start a kareoke sesh!)

Shane gives of major Kareoke Tito (uncle) vibes~. Yknow that one tito who specifically sings “My Way�� by Frank Sinatra and has a bunch of classic rock songs under his belt. He’s not good at singing perse but he can at least carry a tune. He and Sebastian would totally connect with singing Misery. but like Shane vaguely knows the song (he’s heard it on radio a bajillion times but he doesnt know the name of the song so its not quite on his playlists) so he when he’s super sloshed and can barely read the screen, he tries to sing it from memory and misses a couple of the words. but hey! at least he knows the chorus and is in tune.

Meanwhile Sebastian has Misery “secretly” on his go to playlist. He doesnt admit it (the songs is too main stream and overplayed but he stumbled upon a vocaloid cover and rest is history.) He definitely always chooses the song every kareoke sesh (although not his first choice) and he’s passionate about it even has a little performance too(lots of head bangs, fist pumps and that classic 2000s disney knees bent together, feet wide apart moment)! For his duet with shane he’s the first to shed a lil tear and that gets shane going and they cry through most of the song in their own lil misery world ignoring the chaos around them.

Sam is a fucking menace for singing CPR and I do agree He and Abigail would go off on Reese’s Puff BUT i can definitely imagine being commited to singing CPR (we all know he’d awkwardly twerk). Especially if it was to troll on Harvey who probably thought it was a wholesome song about doing CPR at a specific BPM. 😂

Harvey good lird poor harvey! He’s probably the most sober out of everyone. It doesnt help that he’s no light weight + lowkey becomes designated baby sitter everytime (he’s soooooooo going charge them extra in the morning if they come stumbling into his clinic asking for some hangover cure). He was so excited about adding a new song to CPR tempo list he was gonna teach at the nex first aid classes!! Who would have thought that a singer with a cute wholesome name like Cupcakke was just so… sooooo SCANDALOUS!!! He should have known Sam was up to something the moment he grabbed him by the shoulder!!! “This is medical malpractice, Samson!!!” He spends the whole trying to sush Sam who’s having so much fun laughing at Harvey’s reaction 😂

Abigal. F e r a l.

Help! Elliot has fallen over! He honestly just has a mild peanut allergy but he has been drinking and hooo boi. thats not good. thank goodness Harvey is sobered up (with the help of Sam ofc) and has an epipen on hand! Catch Leah cackling from her seat by the bar before assisting Harvey.

#doodle #stardew valley #stardew valley sebastian #stardew valley sam #stardew valley abigail #stardew valley shane #stardew valley elliot #stardew valley harvey #ass gang #she trio #sdv sebastian #sdv sam #sdv abigail #sdv harvey #sdv shane #sdv elliot #TW: drinking #TW: allergy #good lird this was such chaotic night to remember

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gorgeouslypink · 1 year

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i apologize in advance, this post is a bit sarcastic/mean as its inspired by thewizardliz and simone, but obviously how i usually convey my thoughts hasnt been working so maybe some of you can use it.

hey guys!! i think at this point, most of the community knows about the glossy/asteriaa plagiarism drama. if you don't and are interested, then look at @asteriaas-stuffs and @lotusmi 's blogs.

the reason i know about this is i have gotten multiple asks about this, basically along the lines of "i trusted glossy, now im so doubtful, this is like kira all over again, what do I do" like guys

no but seriously ive always been saying to not depend on bloggers and even wrote like a whole essay, sharing my own journey with doubts and the void and how depending on tumblr bloggers caused me to spiral into doubt and i shared why it's so detrimental to depend on others and attach your void concept to them and within days, you guys all went and depended on a lying blogger and fell for the exact thing i warned you against and then you come back crying to me. very genuinely, what do you expect me to do if you don't even listen to me after i shared my entire journey with you guys and was incredibly vulnerable about it too?

and the frustrating thing is i already know that if someone else were to come out right now and say they entered the void and will enter for you, most of you will repeat the same exact behavior again. this isn't the first time this kind of situation and has happened and at one point its hard for me to sympathize.

if you're someone who genuinely wants to change, read my doubts post and sabatoging post and make a genuine plan on how you're going to enter the void and stick to it. if it helps, literally sit down, open up my ask, vent a bit and then tell me why you havent entered the void yet and what youre going to change so that you will. i wont post but if acctually writing it out and sending a plan to someone will help you, do that. honestly, if you really went through the proof portfolio in my doubts post, you would've still been reading what I linked because theres a lot and you wouldnt have fallen for this mess, and you definetly wouldn't be doubting the void so maybe start there. if you can't handle being on tumblr without becoming a sheep for anyone who claims to have entered the void and attaching your void concept to them, then delete tumblr.

lemme tell you a little secret, no one is coming to save you. you are the creator of your reality so stop playing victim and if you really need a hero to save you, then become that hero. do what you need to do and enter the void!

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tengens-4thwife · 1 year

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way to go nerd — katsuki bakugou

a post-homework katsuki drabble(ish) for @ifonlyitwasmidnight ! in which katsu pays the reader to do their homework with something better than cash. (college AU) content warnings: smut, fem!reader, praise k!nk mixed with just a smidge of degradation because its katsuki???, public sex, marking, all characters featured are 18+ notes: please don't repost or translate! feel free to reblog & leave feedback! no proofreading/alpha/beta so I expect there are some mistakes! now playing: moonlight — THEY. banners/dividers: @cafekitsune

"You fucking nerd." Katsuki mutters from where he's reading over the paper you wrote for him in the student lounge. "This is actually good." It's late so the place is deserted except for the two of you, relaxing on the overstuffed sofa in the corner of the room, hidden from anyone who could walk passed by a massive bookshelf. At first, you weren't really sure about Katsuki. He was loud and kind of full of himself, but then one day he approached you while you were studying in the library and asked for your help with the homework for your history lesson.

"I hate this stupid subject, what do I gotta know about history for?" he grumbled, kicking back in his chair. "When I'm the number one hero they're gonna write these damn books about me—knowing history is for extras!"

You sighed. You didn't really have time to listen to him—but then he offered you a fat stack of cash in exchange for writing his papers for the rest of the semester. That was four months ago. Four months of quiet meetings like this, where he would lay back on the sofa, his muscular body stretched out as he read over your most recent essay. You're sitting on the floor with your knees pulled up to your chest as you scroll your phone, watching TikToks on your phone while you wait for him to finish.

You are absolutely not noticing the way that Katsuki's t-shirt has rucked up to reveal the deep v of his hips and a glimpse at his cut abs. Because that would mean you'd have to admit that the crush you'd been fostering was real. And that you were actually a little upset that after tonight, you'd have no reason to talk anymore. Katsuki sighs, sitting up to grab his backpack, tucking the paper you wrote for him away neatly. "Way to go y/n," he grins, and you feel your heart squeeze. There's just something in the way he says your name. "Thanks to you, I actually passed."

"Well," you said slowly, clicking your phone screen off. "you don't know that until you submit this one, right?"

"Guess so," he huffed, running a hand through his blond hair. "But you're so smart, there's no way that isn't at least a B."

You nod, but its tense. Now that you're looking at him head on you can't help but feel disappointed. You stand up to leave, grabbing your bag and Katsuki frowns.

"Where are you going?"

"Home," you say tightly. "That was the last paper for the semester, right? That means that we don't have any reason to talk anymore."

Katsuki blinks up at you, his red gaze filled with confusion.

"What the hell are you talking about? Are you stupid or something?"

"Didn't you just say I'm smart," you say, rolling your eyes and turning to go

"I know what I said y/n," he said hotly, standing from the sofa and grabbing your wrist. His hand is so big that it circles the whole thing, his fingers overlapping as he turns you to face him. You have to tilt your head back to look into his eyes. "But now you're acting stupid. Don't you know we're friends?"

"Friends?" you scoff. "Bakugou, you literally only call me if you want something." Katsuki's eyes narrow and the tips of his ears turn pink, his jaw clenching. "That's not true."

"It is," you insist. You don't know why you are goading him. Maybe because you want to prove to yourself that you'll be fine without Katsuki Bakugou in your life, and pissing him off is a sure-fire way that he won't come back asking for more homework help that will lead to months of you pining for him.

"Y/n," Katsuki rumbles, pulling you to his chest. "Since the fuck when do you call me by my last name?"

You swallow hard. Like this, you can feel his body heat. It would be so easy to stand on tiptoe, to bring your lips to his. But you aren't like that. He doesn't want you like that. He's just mad because he thinks he's lost his ticket to good grades for minimal effort—right?

While you're pondering this, Katsuki grows more impatient, grabbing the back of your neck and crushing your mouths together in an unexpected kiss. You groan against his lips, wrapping your arms around his neck and rubbing your chest against his. "Katsuki—!" you gasp as your lips part, and for a moment, you can see the hero that he's going to be in the cocky tilt of his lips.

"That's better, y/n. Was that so hard?"

"No," you murmur, and just like you'd been thinking about you rise onto tiptoe to kiss him. With every pass of your lips, your breaths are coming shorter, the pair of you panting into each other's mouths as the desperate haze of wanting takes over. Katsuki lifts you by the waist and you instinctually wrap your legs around him, letting him haul you over to that stupid couch you'd been meeting at for months, dropping you onto it so he can cover you with his body. He presses you to the cushions and you can feel his growing erection through the material of your clothes, Katsuki's hands disappearing under your cropped hoodie to grab for the skin at your waist. His tongue slips into your mouth and you suck on it greedily, throwing the need for being careful out the window.

This might be the only chance you get. You aren't going to waste it worrying.

"Do you do this with all your friends?" You gasp as he breaks the kiss to nip your jaw, kissing a path down your neck so he can suck a bruise into the side of your throat, making your squirm and whine under him.

"No," he grunts, admiring his handiwork. "Jus' you." Katsuki pushes your sweater up, his rough thumb grazing over your nipple through your sports bra. As he makes a move to pull the fabric away you stiffen.

"What if someone comes in?" you breathe, your parted lips puffy from the intensity of his kissing. Like he was trying to mark your mouth too, ruin you for kissing anyone else.

He shrugs, pushing your sports bra up from the bottom to free your breasts. "I'll kill them," he says it so easily, like it was obvious, that you question if he's serious. But before you can get too deep in your head, Katsuki's thick fingers are pinching your nipples, his mouth returning to yours for a nibbling kiss.

Your hands drag down his back, interrupting your kiss briefly as you yank off his hoodie, his t-shirt coming along with it. For a second all you can do is just stare. He's covered in scars already and he's not even a pro-hero yet, his body a tapestry of hard years of training and working. It's fucking glorious.

"Whatcha lookin' at, nerd?" he growls, tweaking your nipple and making you cry out for the way your pussy throbs for him. If your neglected cunt doesn't get some attention soon, you think you're going to snap.

"Stop talking," you insist, grabbing his hair and leading him to your nipple. He takes it into his mouth for a long suck and you shudder. "Please—Katsu—I need you."

He groans and pulled back just enough to get his hands around the short's you're wearing, pulling them down to your knees. There will be time for exploring you with his mouth later—right now, Katsuki is too desperate to fill you up with him. You struggle to yank down his shorts, the pair of you laughing when Katsuki pop's the button for you, helping you to free his perfectly long, fat, and slightly curved cock.

He swipes his fingers through your folds, shivering at how wet you already are for him. "Such a needy little thing," he teases. "All of this is for me?"

You blush and turn your face but that same hand, fingers slick with your arousal catches your chin as he notches his cock at your entrance. "Look at me." he's demanding, but it sounds a lot like begging.

You look into his red eyes, finding a mirror of your own crushing need in his eyes.

Katsuki might be on top of you, but you are now painfully aware that you are the one in control here. That he's just as desperate for you as you are for him.

He takes him a few slow strokes until he's fully inside you, your tight cunt gripping him so tight that he's counting backwards from then just to stop himself from busting right there.

"Please," you beg, the rest of the sentence unsaid between you. Fuck me. Make me feel good. Use my body to make yourself come. They're all true.

Katsuki jerks into action. He's fucking you so hard that you can barely breath, the couch creaking with every punch of his hips as his swollen cock fills you again and again. Your fingers fly over your clit, desperate moans and whimpers escaping your lips with every breath. "Good girl," Katsuki grunts into your ear. "I want to see you cream all over my cock. Can you do that for me?"

Just like that you muscles tense, the intensity of his punishing fucking never slowing as he fucks you right through your orgasm.

"So good for me," he praises. "

You drag your nails down his back and he grunts, holding himself up with one hand on the arm of the sofa he's crushing you against to fuck into you even harder. "Going to paint your insides with my fuckin' cum, baby. Make you look real pretty for me."

You can do little more than cling to him now, your legs wrapped around him, heels digging into his ass to spur him along.

Katsuki's hips stutter and he growls, like he's irritated that his climax is coming. "Fuck," he groans punching into you with a few more erratic, scattered thrusts before he's stilling. "I—I wasn't—done yet." You know he's come, felt the hot splash inside you as climaxed, but Bakugou is still going, like he was personally offended you brought him to bliss so quickly. "I'm not—done!"

"Katsu—" you whimper, your eyes rolling back as he toys with your clit, you moan loudly when you come again, legs trembling. But still, Katsuki won't stop his onslaught. It's too much.

"Katsu— Please! We can do this again."

Katsuki stills then, his expression guarded as you look dreamily up at him. "...That so?"

"Yes, you idiot." you sigh, wrapping you arms around his neck and pulling him down for a clumsy kiss. "You're right,"

"Obviously," he scoffs, a little out of breath. Sweat is glistening on your bodies, he rubs his temple against yours, leaving you wet with him. A couple seconds pass, and when you don't continue he narrows his eyes on you. "About what?"

"We're friends."

Katsuki scowls. "No the fuck we ain't. You're my girlfriend, nerd."

You kiss him on the nose and he softens, his eyelids drooping in post-orgasm exhaustion. "Sure, I'll be your girlfriend."

"I wasn't asking." he insists, snuggling in closer to you.

"No way, don't fall asleep here, dickhead! Let's go back to my dorm." you insist and he groans.

"Okay, fine. Five more minutes."

"I swear to god Katsuki if you fall asleep—" you start but he's so cute while he cuddles you that you just let it go. If someone catches you, they catch you. Your boyfriend will beat their ass.

#this is so long and for why #a lil rushed at the end my b #presents are presents #he's so cute I love him #I just wanna be his gf lmao #bnha bakugo katsuki #katsuki drabble #katsuki x reader #katsuki smut

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flowerofbuffoonery · 16 days

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I said I'd make this post and here it is. Extremely unimportant stuff, not any big changes, feel free to ignore.

Blog updates! I decided not to delete my blog but prepare yourselves because I'm gonna start posting about me, my thoughts and outside of fandoms as well. I had an epiphany over the last few days; this is my house thus I can change the rules however I like! Hooray. Everyone cheered. Look at me not having realized this sooner.

After a few years, I think I want to pick up poetry again. I'll create a tag for that if I do, or maybe turn @ivoryblossoms into my poetry side-blog instead. I owe a huge thanks to my mutuals who encouraged me in this, you guys are so awesome.

Speaking of sideblogs, I might delete both. Still making my decision.

URL change coming soon. Will make a separate post for that.

And that's honestly it? I'm saving you all from a whole essay I typed and deleted then retyped and finally, deleted again. I'm not a big blog so I don't expect anyone to care nor read. This is just me, yelling into the void. (read: at myself)

#if you did read however #thank you #and a reminder that anyone can unfollow me at anytime :)#really the whole point here is that I don't want this to be a pure fandom blog anymore. was it even that? who knows. not me :)#jay dumps their unwanted thoughts

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vroomvroomwee · 9 months

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I don't know if anyone has pointed this out yet but the entire Midnight episode from Doctor Who is e perfect example of society. I'll go by character because I can't write essays for shit and it's more fun to read this way.

Professor Hobbes: Starting with probably the more obvious one. Professor Hobbes. A white middle-aged man who's defining characteristic is his broad and unwavering knowledge of the world. Or knowledge that he thinks is correct of the world. This is a man who is so blinded by his ego that he can't see what's right in front of him, even so far as using his arrogance to cover up his fear of what is actually happening. This is a man who would rather remain in denial even in a life-threatening situation than accept that his view of the world is potentially wrong. That self-confidence burrows so deep down that it has created a self-defence mechanism for him, it's how he deals with it, how he deals with danger, by reverting back to his brilliance and intelligence and the fact he is all-knowing with a cleverness no one can match. It leads him to demean other people as well, those who dare question him... not even for one moment does he pause to think maybe they're right... something we see churches do more and more every day... The world is aflame and yet they're still in denial and have utter faith that their God (his intelligence) will save them relying on old and washed out world views that hold no water in modern society.

Dee Dee Blasco: And that leads us to Dee Dee, his apprentice. Or should we say the one who actually understands what is happening but is constantly put down by Hobbes. It is proved multiple times in the episode that her knowledge of chemistry and physics is quite vast, and at times even superior to Hobbes'. It is no coincidence that Hobbes is a white middle-aged man and Dee Dee is a young black woman who dares challenge the professors word, kind of like how the younger generations are calling out the hypocrisy of religion more and more, backing it up with solid real scientific evidence, but being repeatedly silenced, ridiculed and embarrassed for it.

Jethro Kane: Speaking of young generations, the other representative is Jethro. A young boy, a teenager, who, despite his appearance, is very highly intuitive. He might appear aloof, unserious, disinterested, and downright unremarkable. But out of everyone, he has the most accurate image of what is happening. He might be young, but he is very intelligent, despite constantly being told to shut up, that he shouldn't be speaking, that his opinion is worthless and unwanted. Treatement very similar to the treatment younger generations get from the older ones, despite more often than not being the voice of reason and getting a grasp on the real picture yet still being constantly bellitled by the older generations. "Don't be stupid, Jethro," said to him by his own mother. The ridicule eventually gets to him as well as the pressure and stress of the whole situation itself, which leads him to contemplate even murder. Eventually, in the end, he succumbs to the panick, he doesn't know what to do, and he breaks down. Not his own fault, but mostly due to the actions and the utter chaos the older generations caused around him. And that sounds awfully familiar...

Val and Biff Kane: The couple. The picture perfect representation of a loving family. Except deep down, they are selfish and rotten. Val only thinking about herself and how the Entity is stealing her voice despite everyone experiencing the same thing, not caring about anyone else and repeatedly making her voice the loudest in the room, not listening to reason and persisting her rants even though it's making the situation worse. Biff being the typical patriarchal male of the house, the first one to resort to violence and even shaming Hobbes for "not being a real man" as if murder is the logical expectation of men, as if homicide is what makes you a real man. These two are the prime example of the nuclear family who follows society's traditions on behaviour and appearance, painting themselves as the perfect example of how every couple should look, buying in all the bullshit the media is selling them, while deep down being terrible and narcissistic people. Val, going so far as to gaslight the man, she and her husband just tried to kill not even 10 seconds ago in an attempt to save her own image.

The Doctor: Now. The Doctor. The scientist. The thinker of the group. He is the spark that lights the flame. The light in a room devoid of it, that illuminates everyone's hidden and dark side. The side everyone tries to keep secret, even from themselves. The one whose kindness brings that side out and causes panick and self-inflicted chaos as they attempt to shove that darkness down and out of sight. Bringing the nastiness out of them as if they were a piece of transparent glass. And it causes absolute chaos.

The Doctor is a symbol of wisdom, common sense, and worst of all... kindness. He is the one speaking logic, speaking the obvious, showing goodness, doing the humane thing... but no one listens. Everyone around him, being in a fit of horrified panick, turns on him because they don't want to deal with their own nastiness under the pressure of potentially facing their own death.

The Entity: I was debating whether to put the Doctor and the Entity as one thesis, but I think the Entity deserves its own consideration.

To start off strongly, it is no coincidence that the show uses he/him for the Entity. He who has sinister and self-benifiting plans for the entire carriage, and he, who hides behind a woman... A queer woman might I add. He who takes the role of a woman and disguises his evil deeds as her deeds. Painting the woman as the true villain of the story. Sounds familiar...

He who first kills the mechanic and the driver, the ones who kept the whole cabin afloat and running, the ones who nobody really considers, the workforce, the ones who saved everyone, and he killed them like they were nothing. Very similar to how the workforce is treated as disposable in real life...

He who steals the scientist's voice. He who listens to what the intellect has to say, who processes it, and he who thinks of the best way he could turn the situation to serve him. He who twists the Doctors words and uses them against him, he who still uses his knowledge but who gets rid of the thinker himself. He who paints that wisdom as blasphemy and insidiousness but who uses it as a tool to serve himself. He behind the scenes. He who turns everyone against each other, provoking them to create ridiculous arguments and to cause chaos amongst themselves that works to his advantage. He who manipulates the entire scene. He who nobody can really see. He, the real villain behind it all...

The Hostess: The Hostess, who's in charge of the carriage and whose efforts to keep the calm, proved time and time again completely fruitless. The one who tried to keep everyone safe.

The one who saw the real villain and exposed him. The one who died doing so. A woman of colour, and the one who saves the day, but whose name is forgotten... the one who history won't remember... which sounds very familiar.

The situation itself brings out the worst in people. It shows what people are really like in life-threatening situations and how easily they turn on each other to save their own neck. Very much what would be the collective reaction in the real world. Neverending conflict, unyielding chaos, created for the most part by the people themselves. Fighting each other, sacrificing each other. All the while, the real villain smiles in the background...

#doctorwho #doctor who #tenthdoctor #tenth doctor #midnight #the midnight entity #midnight entity #analysis #doctor who analysis #doctorehoanalysis #doctorehos4 #doctor who s4

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bengiyo · 10 months

Text

La Pluie: Not All Gays Are Great

Alright, besties, let’s get into it. This episode was fantastic, and every moment was earned by the character work laid out across the entirety of this show (@lurkingshan ). I want to dig into the ways gay men can fail each other with communication breakdowns and the often-masculine need to control situations. Despite his exploding temper in this episode, I still love Patts. I am going to write this entire essay with the full intent to defend my boy.

Tagging my Patts Defense Squad Member @lurkingshan

We’ve got a lot to discuss, and I just want to post this screenshot because every gay in crisis is one of my favorite things ever.

Lomfon: That Boy is Rude

Lomfon is the kind of nonbeliever that I find so annoying (@shortpplfedup). He has a moment that makes him question his convictions and does not proceed rationally about it with any compassion for anyone else. He could have just brought all four of them together, explained his hypothesis, and asked to solve it together.

See, but Lomfon is a drama queen. Instead, he corners Tai into a date and into the rain, reveal their rain connection, and then kiss him.

He also did not reciprocate on Tien’s attempted pinky touch. This is a huge offense!

And he lied! He heard Patts AND Tai! He only mentions that he heard Tai!

I’m sorry, but I come of “Talk shit, get hit.” He deserved that ass whooping.

Patts: He Deserves to be Angry

Patts’ anger was scary. I full admit that. I’ve always treated anger as a response to losing control. So much of this show is about Patts letting go of his desire to control his relationships. He has avoided conflict with Nara, and he’s been patient with Tai’s reticence for over two years.

In this episode, Tai asked Patts for forever, and then the next time something comes between them Tai opts to lie to Patts. When confronted directly about this, Tai retreats and refuses to discuss. @ginnymoonbeam discussed this here. He says it plainly this episode: “…The only thing I can’t bear with is your silence.”

He’s been good about Tai giving and rescinding consent across their relationship. When Tai asked him for forever and they went home, Patts told him that he wouldn’t be able to hold back anymore. In this episode, Tai chooses to not trust him, lie to him, and then not explain himself. I appreciate that Tai copes with avoidance, but it’s not going to work when Patts needs Tai to acknowledge what’s happening with them.

Also, this show has shown people hurt and bruised from trauma. Patts didn’t hit Lomfon hard enough to leave a real mark, and let him keep yelling the whole time.

Sincerely, Tai is the one who needs to reconcile with Patts.

Tai: He Reads Too Much Romance

So much of Tai’s behaviors for me make sense through the lens of someone who reads too much romance. He expects Patts to understand his thoughts even as Patts is telling him directly that he doesn’t because Tai hasn’t shared them with him.

He decides to go and humor the romantic rival. I genuinely believe he thought he would try to understand the Lomfon situation and let him down and was instead blindsided by the soulmate reveal and kiss. I also get his fear when Patts got angry.

gif by @liyazaki

However, I really love that the universe answered Tai’s plea. At a moment of genuine crisis, the world respected his choice (@liyazaki). This show has always been about how the choice to love people is the key. Love is a choice you make constantly, and the universe respected Tai’s choice to sever those connections. Will he enjoy what he finally got?

gif by @liyazaki

Like Lee Wan in Our Dating Sim, Tai doesn’t appreciate the pain that he’s inflicted on Patts. I am still recovering from Patts asking, “Is it that hard to choose me?” With all of the things that happened at the beginning of this episode, I think it is cruel of Tai to put Patts through that.

I think the line, "If you don't understand my silence, then you won't understand what I will say," is absolutely unfair.

Tien: You Have Done Nothing Wrong and I Love You

I am with my good sis @shortpplfedup and Tien is the main person I feel sorry for. He has done absolutely nothing wrong, and he was absolutely correct when he told Lomfon off. Lomfon also needs to apologize to him, and I will not tolerate Tien doing any more work to fix these people.

gif by @ayan-sukkhapisit

He deserves so much better.

It Doesn’t Matter if You Broke It. You Can Fix It or Make Something New

As @shortpplfedup said to me in a side chat, “If you can break a soulmate connection then you can forge one.” I’m excited about Patts and Tai being apart next week as he heads back to his family and reckons with his choices and the implications for the world.

More than anything I want to take away form this episode, it’s that our lives do not play out like romance novels and we have to appreciate that our actions have consequences that impact other people’s lives. We cannot treat everyone else, especially our partners, as side characters in our lives. Tai and Lomfon’s biggest mistakes this episode are in their selfishness and lack of regard for others.

Both Tai and Lomfon need to do the work of repairing what they’ve broken this episode. It’s okay for them to have to do that. Gay people are not required to be perfect. What we need to do is be kind.

#la pluie #la pluie meta #ben writes #thai bl #bl series

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mrs-monaghan · 11 months

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It doesn't mean JK doesn't trust Jimin

Proceeds to write an essay which only means JK doesn't trust Jimin with RM at all. Oh and should I remind you RM and Jimin and living in same apartment complex???? While JK is living in whole another place ???

Tbh IF jkk are a couple I can die on a hill to prove Jimin will never be unfaithful to JK but things you all write these days are just not it. For any reader it strikes as JK is too insecure about Minimoni's relationship. All while it's obvious RM is someone Jimin respects deeply and RM is always ready to help Jimin with anything. Their bond is strong because both are very mature people who mutually respect each other.

People like you who lack reading comprehension skills really do my head in. If you don't understand something come and ask me. I am MORE than happy to explain and clarify.

First of all, anyone with eyes can tell JK has never truly settled in Brunnen. People make jokes about him living like a frat boy because of how empty the place looks. It's coz that's not his home. His home is where Jimin is. Them fighting on that run episode was not for naught. First the lamp

then the couch and TV

That seemed way too natural. Like they've done that many times before. Jimin knew they would have different opinions coz its happened b4. And JK has great taste btw. Him and Jhope are the neatest members so I expect his actual home looks very stylish and very well furnished. Nine-one is their shared home so Minimoni being neighbours is irrelevant.

When exactly did I say Jimin has ever been or would ever be unfaithful to JK??? I see its come for Shaz day, today. I have said over a million times Jikook have been with each other and only each other since day one. I have also said many times all members not just Minimoni love and respect each other. But I guess u didn't see those posts, huh? How convinient.

My post was about one particular topic and that topic was the only one that I addressed. It had nothing to do with how Minimoni are outside of Jikook.

You saying that post was about how JK doesn't trust Jimin is fucking bull. JK being possessive and territorial over Jimin has nothing to do with trust. I've said it before, but if Jikook were not hiding, if they were public, JK wouldn't act the way that he does. He wouldn't need to claim Jimin.

things you write these days are just not it.

Nigga no one is forcing you to be here. Unfollow or block, you don't gotta see my shit! You're coming off like you don't believe that JK gets bothered or annoyed which is just lies Jikookers tell themselves for what reason, idk.

This man used the wrong fucking entrance just so he would be the one sitting next to Jimin and not Suga. Riddle me why he would do that? Please.

I'm guessing you also ignore the tongue in cheek thing he used to do when bothered or annoyed? Well then explain to me why he does it here when he hears that Jimin, V and Jin went hiking together.

Last but not least this anti Minimoni moment where JK touches RM but when Jimin reaches for him JK prevents that from happening. It's very subtle and easy to miss but it's been kindly zoomed in for us here with dramatic music to boot

(Watch V watching JK's hands and see for yourself that that really happened. V sees everything) Here is the original thanks to @chim-chim1310 as always 😘😘 It makes sense that JK did that since everyone was just praising RM in that moment. 🤭🤭

But my point is this is just a JK thing that has nothing to do with him not trusting Jimin. From what I've gathered its actually normal in SK for men to be this territorial about their other halves.

I know it's taboo among Jikookers to talk about this side of Jikook. But just because I came along and I ain't afraid to bring up this sensitive topic doesn't mean u can come for me and call me a liar. You don't like me, block me. You wanna stick around then bloody get used to it.

Normalise discussing Jimin and JK being bothered by certain things when it comes to eo.

Oh! And should I remind you RM and Jimin and living in the same apartment complex????

With 4 question marks. Bitch please! As if we don't all know about this account that sells beds and only follows Jikook.

Jikook were rumoured to be seen walking into a furniture store only for this account to follow them not long after. Now they're only following Jimin but that's because Mr. Rebel deleted his IG. Jikook live together anon, so don't talk to me about Minimoni being neighbours. It means fuck all in relation to the topic at hand.

Next time fix your tone when you need clarification from me or keep your damn reservations to yourself.

#ask shaz #bts ask #jikook #bts #jimin and jungkook #jimin #kookmin #jungkook #minkook #park jimin #jeon jungkook #we don't talk about yoonmin #jikook is real #if jikook isn't real then neither am i #run jikook #jikook theories #jikook theory #jikook bothered #jikook analysis

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sluttylittlewaste · 4 months

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Since the Hbomberguy video has dragged everyone back into talking about academia, I have a rant:

The take, "Academic papers and academia in general tend toward a writing style that is intentionally inaccessible to maintain standards of ableism and academic elitism" (woke) is not the same statement as, "Because I do not understand this thing about this topic I have never researched at this level before, the work is inaccessible and therefore in Bad Faith™️" (not only broke but fucking wild).

Working as an academic advisor in my senior year, my specialty was helping people with writing. That included reviewing essays and helping with research mostly, as both of my degrees are research and writing intensive. Even with the MANDATORY Introduction to College Writing class freshman were forced into - unless, of course, you either tested well in AP English Language or passed the writing assessment that allowed you to skip the course (which most people didn't) - I often found myself explaining that academic papers are written with the understanding that the reader already possesses some meaningful amount of context. Students would come to me with full confidence just to show a paper reliant on paraphrasing and regurgitating the source text, ended with whatever hand-wavey, unresearched thoughts they had while reading and call it /Analysis/. Thus would begin the long, arduous process of teaching them how to actually research and structure an academic essay from scratch, down to identifying reputable sources and deciding how many is too many quotes.

As such, while it saddens me to see people put off of academic writing (and research as a whole) for the reason of inaccessibility, I get it. Disregarding the prevalence of paywalls blocking credible published works from the public, I'd argue that most papers assigned to studentsr weren't actually written for students. The 25 page article in the well established medical journal is going to be laden with esoterica and intracultural references; it was written for peer review by other professionals in their field with a baseline of pre-requisite knowledge. Similarly, if you're doing independent research and just roll into a random a decades old article you found on Google Scholar, it's likely to be confusing if you have no backgound in the topic. The expectation that anyone can just dive into a research paper written by an expert and immediately grasp the information provided completely misses the fact that learning is an active practice requiring critical thinking and access to reliable resources.

Why does that matter? Because the core facet of research is taking that confusing, inaccessible academic journal or data and /making it make sense/. Taking the time to learn terms you don't recognize, to read ALL OF the provided context, to reword and recontextualize the information to be digestible to an audience without expertise on the topic, that's THE POINT. When an assigment asks for ten sources, it's not for the sake of making you work harder. The entire exercise is to have you compare and contrast things like word choice, historical context, and author bias so you can synthesize your own understanding of the topic. Entire categories of the research and essay writing community exist simply for this goal: to make complex academic literature accessible to general audiences. It's what Internet Historian and Illuminaughti (fuck if I spelled that right) were pretending to do!

There are a lot of valid points to be made in the discussion of academia being inherently inaccessible. Unfortunately the Internet, specifically social media, has a way of boiling actual conversations down to the bare bones of "Is hard and I don't like it, therefore is bad."

(Note: This does not apply to professors/educators assigning a bunch of text without doing any actual teaching. Expecting everyone to be able to read something and just get it isn't a "challenge in critical thinking", it's bad teaching and makes things harder for people who may already find a learning challenging or inaccessible. Do better. )

Is academia filled with conventions that make it widely inaccessible to people from all education levels? Yes.

Do some people write with as many big words or as much autofellating fluff as possible purely for the purpose of sounding smart? YES.

But, as an academic writer and reader myself, and as a person with a bevvy of peers I respect deeply in the field of research, a significant amount of these articles are written in good faith by people who are using the vocabulary they have. The use of "big" words, esoteric references, and hyper-specific language isn't based in the desire for exclusion, but rather clarity for a peer group who are comfortable with the language being used is it's intended context.

Sorry about all this. I just actually enjoy academia when it's about the love of learning rather than being a pissing contest/bitchfest. Ignore me 😭

#academia #critical thinking #research #hbomberguy #academic writing #textual analysis #accessibility #accessibility in academia #rant #essays #education #college writing #what if we focused on ensuring students had the necessary skills to consume complex theory???#what if we as a society prioritized critical thinking and media literacy????#what if instead of bullying people who don't even want to pursue higher education to go get degrees we present academia as a fun CHOICE???#also #professors and educators #you know DAMN WELL that college freshman won't get SHIT from a 50 page reading from a 50 year old academic journal #students need support and resources #most of these papers aren't even awful!#just stop throwing people into the deep end and expecting them to just “figure it out”#that's not teaching babes #that's laziness #and it's why so many people fucking hate school #and for my fellow writers #the difference is knowing your audience #and tailoring your work to their knowledge level

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kikikiwi27498 · 4 months

Note

Good morning darling! Here are some more yr fic asks! I'm curious about 20, 36, 37, 42 and 44 💜

Wish you a splendiferous Sunday!

Hello! Thank you so much for asking, and sorry this took so long! Work has been crazy and I might have gone a little overboard haha. I'm going to answer everything in one ask, so here are numbers 6-13 as well. Also these are basically all Wilmon fics because I love those boys so much.

From the 2023 Young Royals Fanfic Ask List: (I'll do more of these if people want, I love talking about fics)

6. Favorite one-shot fanfic: Pretty much everything by NerdGirl07, especially Promise Me (You're Safe) and Centre of the Storm.

7. Favorite chaptered fanfic: I have so may favorites. As Long As We Have Each Other by groenendael (@groenendaelfic) is my current favorite post-season 2 fic. Right now I'm reading Doesn't Everyone Belong in the Arms of the Sacred by painterssong (@alltoowille) and I'm loving it.

8. Fluff recommandation: This is such an angst-heavy fandom, sometimes it's hard to find pure fluff. I loved Playing House by LovelyLittleLosers (@lovelylittlelosers), Wille experiencing normal things, even just getting lost in Ikea, brings me so much joy.

9. Crack recommandation: Simon Eriksson: Just Some Guy From Biology and Patience Is A Virtue and I Have None, both by fandom_commitment_issues (@zee-has-commitment-issues).

10. Smut recommandation: Love Would be Burning Red by embracethevoid (@ungaroyals) and disruptedthesky (@omar-rudeberg) and You Can Send Me to the Lord by YoungRydbergs for smut with plot. They're both parts of series, so you might want to read the other parts first, especially for You Can Send Me to the Lord. If you want smut with less plot, I liked the Sense and Sensuous series by YulianaHenderson. (one of these days I need to make a spicy fic rec list)

11. Angst recommandation: This fandom writes so many incredible angst fics, it's hard for me to pick! I loved A Palm to My Mouth, I Said it, Almost by MyArtificialFlowers and It's All So Incredibly Loud by pysanky (@pysankywrites-updates). Please read the tags before reading these, they are both very angsty.

12. Kid fic recommandation: I love kid fics so much and girl dads Wilmon even more, though I have many thoughts about whether Wilmon would want their kids to grow up royal. Some of my favorites are Thoughts On a Stormy Night by LaChicaMarvel and Painted Memories by NerdGirl07, as well as When Dividing up the Universe, You Could Have Mine by the_old_stairs.

13. Christmas fic recommendation: And That's How Simon Got Banned from Christmas Decorating by ASkyofKai. If you want a slightly angsty one, Merry Crisis by pysanky (@pysankywrites-updates) - ngl I'm low-key obsessed with the Third Year Things series, it's perfect and everyone should go read it right now. (if anyone knows any other third year Wilmon fics please let me know, I'm dying to read more)

20. Your « not Wilmon » favorite ship/couple: Henry/Walter (do they have a ship name?? Wenry? Halter?) probably. It's an angsty post-breakup fic, but I loved Closure by stretchoutandwait (@stretchoutfics).

36. Your favorite trope: This is kind of basic, but I love friends to lovers. I'll also always read a sick fic where Character A has to take care of Character B (bonus points if Character B insists Character A leaves so they don't get sick, and/or they deny that they're sick), such as Baby, You're the Cure (So Let Me Close to You) by isnt_that_wizard (@skateboardtotheheart) - it's part of a series, but you can read it on its own.

37. The trope you didn't expect to like: Only Fools Remain Sane by Elin98 made me love fake dating.

42. Do you like to comment on the fic you read: I do! I'm just really bad at doing it consistently because I tend to write whole essays so it takes me a long time.

44. On what device do you read: Mostly my phone, but I use my laptop too.

#katie answers #katie's fic recs #darktwistedgenderplural #young royals #young royals fan fiction #fan fiction

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anotherghoul666 · 1 year

Note

Oh no :( sleep token seems to have awoken something else in me. What is it about watching masked, menacing figures appreciate each other on stage that’s so addictive? Gahhh

So I'm pretty sure this was a thirst ask which, so valid anon, my own thirst for Vessel has hit me like a truck, and I could leave it at that or answer with a joke, but! I am me, I over-analyze and over-intellectualize shit, and you asked what it was about him that's addictive, so here we are. On today's episode of "AnotherGhoul takes a simple asks and turns it into a whole damn essay": masks, monsterfucking and stage personas, or why Vessel from Sleep Token is hot (with a nod to Ghost). For me*. I'll add, why he captivates me*, because everyone's thought process and erotic sources are different, but maybe you'll recognize yourself in something I describe here! Under a read more because I went WAY OVERBOARD WITH THIS XD

Option 1: the mask kink So, I've had a mask kink for a long time. I've had a name for it for maybe a decade. I got to wear my first full masks in an arousal context maybe around 2014-2015. I acquired my first mask in 2019 for play. I jumped in the puddle with both feet within the past two years or so in terms of wearing masks and making people wear masks. But I can also remember early memories when I was a kid of being very very very drawn to masked characters in cartoons or video games, so I'd say my propensity for them has been there for the vast majority of my life.

Masks do it for me because I highly eroticize the removal of human features or aspects. I find the consensual removal, or giving up, of humanity extremely exciting. Think, removal of speech through a gag or a simple rule, so that one of the main things that make us human, language, cannot be used during play. Or objectification, where a human would be made into an object consensually, or treated like one, be it playing a chair, a foot rest, a table, a decoration, a sex toy, etc. I enjoy the idea of a human, with its dignity and morals, consenting to being used like a mere disposable piece of plastic. The removal, blurring or limitation of core human features turns me on.

So it's easy to see why masks in general do it for me. It erases the human facial features, or replaces them with artificial features, to different degrees depending on which mask is chosen. It makes someone look less human. It separates the human from the object. Inside a mask, any micro-expressions you make don't matter. You may make a face or try to signal an emotion but that's not gonna translate. You cannot appeal to anyone's empathy from within a mask. From the outside, all the other person sees is the flat planes of the mask that don't move or change or adjust with the wearer's emotions. There is no expectation of being able to "read" a face when it's masked. No pressure to figure out the right expression and meaning. Which is probably comforting for me in terms of my neurodivergence and my difficulty with reading facial expressions in the first place. The mask doesn't move. There's nothing to read.

Now, I also know, for neurotypical people specifically, apparently masks are super hot because of the accent on the eyes. Your typical mask will have lessened facial features but slits or openings for the eyes, so the person inside can see. Naturally your gaze will glide on the featureless face and find the eyes. For NTs, whose brains are made to read people's eyes, "the eyes are the window to the soul" and all that jazz, eyes are often a person's most attractive feature. A mask accentuates someone's strongest and most unique trait. I don't subscribe to that. I prefer masks to dehumanize, not draw attention to the humanity under. The masks I find the hottest will have very little sight possible inside (added sensory play aspect here) and from the outside, covered eyes or weird eyes, as long as I don't get to see much of the wearer's eyes, it gets bonus points.

Which leads me to Vessel's mask. Inhuman face shape, check. No mouth (assumed no speech), check. No nose, check. In this case there are eyes, but there are six, not two, which I find very hot because of the monster aspect I'll speak about later, but also, they're covered inside. There's a mesh inside that allows him to see out, but we can't see in. So, no eyes, check. There is nothing for me to grasp there, nothing for me to read. My eyes glide and slide over the smooth surface of the mask with nowhere to grab onto. It's an endless search, so my brain can stop searching for clues, and that's relaxing. He could smile, he could be furious, he could cry, he could be uninterested, I'd never know. All I see is a mysterious face, the erotic appeal of anonymity on full display, the lack of humanity, the removed features. It's a 10/10 mask for me. (I like his stage mask less because of the cut out mouth, but I understand 100% the need for his mouth to be uncovered and unrestrained because the man has PIPES and he couldn't sing to the full extend of his abilities while hindered.)

(All of this applies to the Ghost masks too. Imma dip into Ghost because this remains a Ghost-centric blog. But like, the masks are a huge part of why I write what I write, and why I find the ghouls so hot. The shiny, smooth surface of the masks. The replacement of all the musician's unique features for an ensemble of pre-determined uniform fake features. The lack of individuality. The lack of names. The dehumanization. Some masks show more eyes than others, some masks have more mouth space or show nose more than others, but all the eras still appeals to a degree.)

Option 2: teratophilia Another thing I eroticize a lot is monsters / inhuman monstrous creatures. That would be known as teratophilia, the sexual attraction to monsters, or monsterfucking as it's been popularized online. It can also cross over with exophilia, the sexual attraction to alien or extraterrestrial creatures, for some people. Basically, non-human weird creatures are hot. This is not a new concept at all, look at any historical mythology, people were down to fuck monsters thousands of years ago. It exploded in popularity on the internet within the last decade or so (tho it's been around since the creation of the web), with big movies like The Shape of Water or Marvel's Venom that spawned basically a tsunami of terato online, and the internet was never the same, for the viewing pleasure of us monsterfuckers. (*important note to please Harkness Test all your monsters before moving forward with the monsterfucking. If that test is news to you, please research it first.)

Monstrous, inhuman creatures are hot to me, similarly to masks, because of the removal of the human experience and aspects. Monsters, weirdly enough, are safer than humans. Monsters tend to be direct and instinctual creatures. A monster's level of danger or threat is readily visible and apparant. They may have fangs or claws or be huge or more powerful than a human, that shit tends to be obvious. I can deal with obvious danger. I may even eroticize said obvious danger. A human's level of danger is very difficult to determine. Humans know how to lie, they can manipulate and deceit, they can hide, their form doesn't betray immediate threat like a monster's form does, and so, humans feel unsafe. I'll take a direct, transparent danger over a hidden threat I might never notice any day.

Monsters also tend to not understand or value human concepts. They exist outside of human constructs and that has immense appeal to me. I can't imagine a monster giving much of a fuck about social constructs like gender or the binary; a monster's not gonna assume things about you and force you into boxes based on how you look; a monster's most likely not gonna give a fuck about neurodivergences or about your mental health status, positive or negative; a monster's not gonna give a fuck about physical health or disability. That's the core appeal, for example, of The Shape Of Water and why it made such a big splash in the terato community and converted lots of people over: the human lead character is mute, and a core part of her romance with the amphibian monster in the film is that it loves her for her. It doesn't know she's even disabled, because how would he know that humans talk and "need" a voice to be socially accepted. We shouldn't need a voice, or any other "default" capability to fit in. Everyone should be valued equally, yet in human society we are not, abelism is an unfortunately reality, but in the eyes of a non-human creature, all these social standards are meaningless. Monsters are a door to radical acceptance.

Which, once again, leads me back to Vessel. So, in the lore of the band, and I quote, "Sleep Token are a masked, anonymous collective of musicians united by their worship of an ancient deity crudely dubbed 'Sleep', since no modern tongue can properly express its name. This being once held great power, bestowing ancient civilizations with the gift of dreams, and the curse of nightmares." Now, immediately that makes my brain jump to Lovecraftian horror, the Chtulu mythos, eldritch horror, etc. It conjures images of an immemorial creature with powers far beyond the human brain's conceptualization capabilities, a deity of a thousand eyes and mouths and pure darkness and tentacles, a creature that would corrupt the feeble human mind on first sight and break our psyche to fragments with a blink. This? This is the shit for me. That's my kryptonite. I adore eldritch horror (while being conscious of the extreme ethical and moral problems in the source material, yes I know Lovecraft was a racist piece of shit, I hate it too). Tentacles are deeply, deeply ingrained in my brain and DNA as pure arousal triggers (thank you, random hentai videos from the early 2000s). So like. What more do I need. I'm already in love. Vessel. He's a vessel. He channels this Sleep deity. He receives. He takes in this deity, its unconceivable power. A vessel, the term by itself, the concept by itself, is erotic. A vessel is useless unless filled. It's made to be filled. To receive. To carry. To hold. A vessel can only take. A vessel is always open and ready. A vessel may overflow and make a mess. A vessel is an object. A vessel is intrinsically feminine. So what can Sleep's Vessel do. What power would he hold within, what has he received. With his faceless face and his blackened body, remains of a human, overtaken by a cosmic monster of Sleep and dreams. Made to worship. He dedicates his life to worship. Active worship of ink and voice and energy on stage. Vessel receives and holds. What could be give. Of course I'm gonna think of tentacles and monstrous, unavoidable, mind corrupting sex. It's like, right there. It's in the name. It's in the deep marine biology theme of This Place Will Become Your Tomb. Fall For Me? Please, you give me this visual and this command? I'll fall.

(This also applies to Ghost. The entire "the ghouls are demons" vibe the fandom has given them is in huge part why I'm so attracted to them and write them in erotic scenarios. They are not human. They're demons. They're creatures from hell. I love to play with their lack of understanding of the human form and human social norms in my fics. They don't understand rejection, so they may not reject based on human constructs. They have powers tied to the elements and the void and hell mythology that makes them strong and scary. They have the fangs and claws and horns and devil tails; they can shift their shape and look more demonic with crazy tongues and wings and hands and feet. Nothing about the ghouls is human beyond the general shape of their flesh and that's pure seduction for me.)

Option 3: stage presence Anonymity is a weird beast that radically changes how a person acts and feels. Anonymity allows for a process called disinhibition, where a human's natural behavior inhibitors (eye contact, to read someone's expression, fear of being judged, fear of being seen, fear of getting caught, discomfort with pain, etc.) are diminished or nullified. We all knows disinhibition very well, because we experience it online every day. It's what allows us on tumblr to be thirsty motherfuckers this openly, while we likely wouldn't be as horny on main in person with other people. It's what allows trolls to thrive and cause harm; allows people to send mean asks or comments without feeling bad about it. Through anonymity online, we're allowed to post whatever we want, and not face the consequences of having someone's eyes directly on us, of being observed, of seeing the hurt we may cause on someone's face. If we make someone cry online, we likely will never know and we'll never see the tears, for example, and tears are an evolutionary tool to show emotion and discourage an attacker from causing further harm through a presumed level of empathy. When anonymous, you are invulnerable. Unreachable. You are the ether. You are the void. You are formless. You have no weakness. Nothing can get to you. Anonymity is power. You cannot be judged, for who can prove that it was you. To be anonymous is to be free.

History is chock full of the use of anonymity and masks to justify a change in behavior. Just think back to masquerades or carnivals. Events that often devolved into pure debauchery, because when masked, you could do anything you truly wanted. You could have sex and act wanton, you could drink and overindulge, you could party and be open about who you are inside, because nobody knows it's you, and nobody will know come morning. Masks were a key to freedom, a class eraser, a way for different classes to mingle without consequence. To wear a mask changes how you act. Once protected, once hidden, once safe, a person will act according to their true desires and whims. Masks allow us to be unhinged. And that's what happens on stage with masked performers.

In the mask, Vessel can act as unhinged and inhuman as he wants. He can let music consume him, make him move weirdly, erratically, dance around and contort himself like he does on stage, because it's not him doing it. Whoever is inside the mask (and no, I don't want to know. For now at least.), on stage it's not him. It's Vessel. And Vessel is a conduit for the music and the god. That's why he moves so strangely. Why he's so "creature". He doesn't have to be a human on stage, he's in the mask, in the paint, in the costume, nobody can ever hold anything he does up there against him, nobody knows who he is. The freedom he must feel. That's also why he can feel up on his band mates like he does. He touches them, encircles them, gyrates and grinds against them, appreciates them as you say, because he's not himself, and they're not themselves. This is all fine to do, because it's Vessel and the numbers, it's the characters. He feels his music, and his music is sex. It's so fucking sexy. His voice, the bass, the drones, Sleep Token is incredibly erotically charged music, like music with heavy themes of worship and power and surrender tends to be. Vessel sings lyrics of obsessive love and devotion, of violence, of consumming each other. He feels himself. His bandmates feel themselves. They feel each other. There's so much tension in their stage antics. They sing of sex: "Oh, and my love Did I mistake you for a sign from God Or are you really here to cut me off? Or maybe just to turn me on Cause these days I would be lying if I told you that I didn't wish that I could be your man Or maybe make a good girl bad" Why not act like it.

(I guarantee the anonymity disinhibition is what happens to the Ghost ghouls too. Not that they're anonymous anymore, and they know that, but on stage, in the moment, the disconnect between who they are as a person and who their stage personas are in Ghost is visible to the naked eye. Yes there are tells with how they move, but in Ghost it's like everything is turned up to 11 on the intensity dial. Because they're not *them*, they're the ghouls, so they can have more fun, be more free, more unhinged. They're more silly, they make more jokes, they fuck around with each other more than any of them does in their "real" unmasked bands. The ghoul personas allow them to be a magnified version of themselves, because it's not them, they're behind masks, they can sell the sex more, the tension, they can go theatrical with the jokes, it's characters doing it, not the musicians. I saw Per Eriksson live with Blootbath, I saw him with Ghost. Are there tells it's the same guy? Sure. Did I ever see Per lick his guitar picks and mime jacking off on his audience in Blootbath? No. Would the guy think of doing that shit in his "real" life? I'm sure. Dude's got "Sodomizer" tattooed across his stomach, I bet he goes ham on the sex jokes. But like. Unmasked in person, he's more soft spoken, he's more shy, even on stage, in the absolute blistering agfression of Blootbath's music, covered in fake blood, he still holds back the jokes and the sex. That's allowed for his Ghost character, but not for Per Eriksson the guitarist.)

Option 4: all of the above For me it's the combo. Inhuman masked face + monster undertones + anonymity disinhibition = arousal trigger / fascination for a character.

tl;dr: enjoy Vessel, enjoy the guys appreciating each other, thirst over them, it's all great, as long as you Worship and ideally support them (within your means) with streams or merch or concert tickets if they have earned it in your mind.

#asks #Did I legit just sit here and spit out a 3k words essay about why the masked anonymous promiscuous band member thing works? YOU BET I DID #this might be one of my favorite posts / analysis / desonstruction I've ever written #Ghost people and especially the ghoul fans this is for you too #cause it explains the ghoul masks as well #sleep token

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feng1wei · 1 year

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I had a chat with my friend about Naruto teachers' incompetence. And it's actually really sad when you think about it

We're all always joking about naruto knowing only three jutsu (excluding talk-no-jutsu since it's not exactly a ninja art) but has anyone ever tried to teach him more? He's had so many teachers - Iruka, Kakashi, Ebisu, Jiraiya, Asuma - and yet all of them only taught him one or two things each?

Iruka: two of the three basic academy jutsu. He was an academy teacher, that was his job, and he did it quite well considering how many students he had.

Kakashi: tree-walking and mixing rasengan with wind nature chakra.

Ebisu: water-walking. He was a one time teacher and he did his job great. He even explained to Naruto some theory in a way he would understand.

Jiraiya: summoning, a little bit of controling the kyuubi's chakra

Asuma: basics of wind nature chakra - just what Naruto asked him to explain.

How is it, that f.e. Jiraiya, who had Naruto as his ONLY student for three years, only taught him two things?

It was extremely disappointing watching the first few episodes of Shippuden, thinking that Naruto became a stronger, badass ninja, and seeing him using the same jutsu in exactly the same way as before, just with more chakra.

Also, let's go back to the team 7 as a whole. Before the time skip, out of the whole team, only Sasuke got some kind of education from Kakashi. He didn't even give them any advice on what should they do next, what should they try. He just let them be and then nominated them to the chuunin exams.

That could be of course explained that learning a new jutsu takes a lot of time and effort and he just didn't have time to teach them anything more in the little time he spent as their teacher. But in that situation, Sasuke, even as a genius, would have never learn chidori in a month. Or Naruto a rasengan in a week. It was just the teachers not doing anything.

And don't tell me that the kids just didn't ask, because they did. Naruto constantly asked everyone if they would teach him "some cool jutsu". And if you're expecting a 12 yo to be more specific about their career choices, then let's be honest, that would just be plain unrealistic.

What I mean by all that is: while Jiraiya and Kakshi were good emotional support for their students, they were absolutely sh*t at being teachers.

Thank you for reading my essay!

#naruto #team kakashi #team 7 #team 7 naruto #naruto memes #jiraiya #kakashi sensei

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aether-friskets · 7 months

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Why I Headcanon Waylon Park as a Trans Guy?

it came to me in a dream.

ok but jokes aside (well not entirely it DID actually originate because of a dream i had getting interrupted by a nonexistent video essay on the topic... dreams are weird man), i do want to try talking about my reasoning for this (although it's totally legit to hc a character as trans purely because you want to!! thats totally based also lol), because maybe it'd be interesting to hear the lens through which i saw this game? idk lol but i'm doing it anyway... below the cut in case it gets long

Ok immediate prefaces, A: i doubt this was actually the intended at all and i'm not trying to say it's canon, just saying why i read it that way :3 and B: this will probably be a rambling mess and I apologize, I'll try to make it somewhat make sense.

I guess I'll start with: a whole major thing of Outlast, is fighting to tear down this large corporation, that is like. the embodiment of shitty systems that exploit people (this post by bry mentions that general topic, although more focused on miles' angle). It's worth noting because, to me at least, fighting these sorts of systems really aligns with a lot of queer folks (and basically any group that gets fucked over by the system, which is most of them loll). There's like, this whole thing of Waylon seemingly fitting that image of the ideal typical man, with the wife and kids and a job, but he has to risk all of that to do what he feels is the right thing.

(Oh yeah, I guess quick tangent on that note. Yes I know in canon we literally see his dick lmao and also we know he has kids, which you might think would deter my hc here. but A: i already said ik it's probably not canon, i can still read into it regardless. B: intersex ppl exist. C: phalloplasty and other similar procedures exist. D: ppl can have kids in non-traditional way. so im prob not gonna cover that element of it more)

My brain hasn't been able to help but interpret his whole journey in a queer way, because i played it as a teenager still in the throes of understanding my identity and place in the world, so in the end this might not even make sense to anyone else. But, I'm trying to explain, so I'll continue to regardless.

I kind of saw it as Waylon hiding in the protection of an "ideal" life. On the surface he looks like he's in that American ideal family, but it's a subversion. He's only one of them because they think he is. Because he doesn't step out of line. Unlike Miles, who's more outspoken about issues, who seemingly has no one around him. He's treated as part of this "ideal" world, while working in the background to try and stop the exploitation and immoral acts going on.

When he's caught, when he's seen as something more complicated than first imagined, he's cast out. Lumped in with the same people being exploited by Murkoff already. He isn't "human" to them anymore. He's something else. Something they don't like.

Although the violence brought upon him is by the variants, it is still in part Murkoff's doing, since they fucked these people up via these experiments to a point of heightened violence and just generally ruining their lives more than they already had been by whatever they had done prior. That being said, they are still responsible for their own actions.

the stuff with Eddie is definitely the part that most resonated with me through this lens. I remember first playing it, and he scared me the most, for a lot of reasons. One of which being what he represented. He's The Groom. He wants someone to be his Bride, and you're it, even if you don't want that. As someone who's aroace AND already knew at that point that i wasn't a girl, this guy felt like a human embodiment of the pressures to fit what was expected of you. That one day, you'll be married and have kids. If you don't, then you're worthless.

But it's interesting especially, because Waylon IS married. He has kids already. He has that family. The difference is, in this hypothetical trans lens, he's not "really" in a traditional family. He's "pretending", as some might see it, because he's not "really one of them". Being Eddie's Bride is the situation that would've been expected of him, but he said "fuck that", and did his own thing.

Plus, like, with Eddie in particular, you will NEVER be what he wants. He will try to make his perfect bride, but you'll never be it. Even before Mount Massive, no one was what he wanted, judging by all the people he killed. He's a broken man desiring something but never liking his options.

Also just fucking. these lines from eddie make me lose my mind.

That part of you the world sees, they think it's perfect. As God intended. Even these idiots and lunatics see it. There's something special about you. On the surface. But when they look deeper, when anybody with eyes to see looks at what you truly are. That's why they don't trust you. You're not what you're meant to be. Not yet. This place can see into your mind. And the things you've done. Oh, they're a sin, darling.

like HELLO??

I know it's probably just Eddie rambling but it felt like he reached through the screen and grabbed me by the throat like.

Anyway in actual relation to my point. uh. Remember the thing I said about Waylon being a "fake" typical family? This kind of relates to that. Like, on the surface, he seems like he's got this perfect typical American family, he's "as God intended" (which. bro. i swear that exact phrase has been used against trans people so many times). But if you look closer, you'll realize there's more to it than that. Also like, going from the "as God intended" line to the thing about the things he's done being a sin, like hmmm. Maybe I'm reading into that too much, considering we know Eddie wants to make you into his Bride, so of course he's gonna think stuff like that. But still. It's a bit interesting to me.

Plus, it's interesting how, despite having a wife and kids, he's still more... feminized, I guess, than any other characters in this game. Both in the game itself, and within the fandom. Like, not just Eddie literally calling him a woman and trying to make him his bride, but also stuff like a variant near the beginning calling him a "pretty flower" before threatening him, Andrew (one of the staff) licking his face at the beginning of the game... A lot of violence and sexual-ish acts that are often directed at women in media. Even Frank, who I don't have as much to say about here, has some weirdly sexual undertones to his whole cannibalism thing.

This isn't entirely related but one part of the game that still sticks with me but I don't see mentioned as much, is near the beginning. Those guys stabbing the dead staff member. One of them remarks that "there are no observers here" and "do you think you're different? Something special?", which I think helps cement the whole idea that he's treated the same as the rest of people being exploited by Murkoff now. There's no turning back to that "ideal" life you were hiding in before. Hell, that's definitely reinforced more at the end of the game, when you choose to publish your footage, knowing Murkoff will come after you for it, and probably ruin your life. Maybe there's more interesting things to glean from that, but i thought they were interesting lines nonetheless.

anyway, overall I know this is probably just the ramblings of a trans/generally queer person reading WAY too much into a character that I happened to resonate with when i played the game, but i thought maybe it would be interesting for others to understand what would lead me to this conclusion? Anyway, that's all i've got on the subject right now, so I hope it was at least a little interesting.

#outlast #outlast whistleblower #waylon park #im risking tagging this even tho im embarrassed lol #i feel like this will all sound silly #but i guess its a personal view/experience #not a objective truth #so like w/e #anyway i wrote this despite having a project due today that i havent started #:P #i may die

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