DILF | SMAU
sebastian vettel
pairings: sebastian vettel x reader
summary: y/n is dating Seb who is 15 years older than her but despite the age gap theyre just like any other couple
warnings: age gap (?)
yourusername
liked by sebastianvettel, landonorris and 47,628 others
yourusername: in my lover era 🫶
TAGGED: sebastianvettel
sebastianvettel: i love you❤️
yourusername: ugh i love you too😭❤️
user: girlie isn’t he old enough to be your dad😨
landonorris: i took the last photo btw
yourusername: we know🙄
user: am i the only one that find this weird ???
user: definitely not the only one
friendusername: my fav couple😔
yourusername: love you😘😘
user: he’s literally almost DOUBLE her age wtf
—
sebastianvettel
liked by yourusername, lewishamilton and 815k others
sebastianvettel: great time seeing everyone again 🙏🏼
TAGGED: lewishamilton, yourusername
lewishamilton: loved seeing you mate, your girlfriends lovely by the way💙
sebastianvettel: she’s the best❤️
yourusername: making me blush and shi☺️
user: he’s basically dating a child
user: nah cos this is still so weird
user: im actually so grossed out rn
user: girl me too
user: he should be with someone his own age, not someone that’s just hit puberty
user: a bit predatory if u ask me
—
yourusername
liked by sebastianvettel, lewishamilton and 25,184 others
yourusername: in a world of boys he’s a gentlemen ❤️
TAGGED: sebastianvettel
user: “gentlemen” it’s because he’s almost double your age babe
sebastianvettel: the love of my life❤️
yourusername: i will cry
sebastianvettel: please don’t, love
user: she’s probably with him for his money and fame tbh
friendusername: i don’t think she’d tolerate all this nasty ass behaviour if she was with him for his money or fame. leave them alone.🙄
liked by sebastianvettel and yourusername
user: i actually think they’re super cute😭
user: no cos me too like i want what they have
lewishamilton: you guys really are the cutest
yourusername: 😛
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y/n
sebastian
seb❤️
what’s wrong? you never call me by my full name
y/n
i think we should break up:/
seb❤️
what the hell are you on about? i don’t think we should break up.
where’s all this coming from?
y/n
everyone’s calling you a freak for being with a “child” and saying that you’re too old for me or that you’re old enough to be my dad and i don’t want anyone to continue hating on you. so as much as i love you and hate myself for doing this, i think it’s for the best.
seb❤️
no.
i won’t let you break up with me due to jealous children on the internet, Y/n. i love you and i do not care about anyone else’s opinions.
So what if we have an age gap? we’re both legal, mature adults who can decide who we want to date.
i’ll sort this all out, my love. don’t worry❤️
—
sebastianvettel
liked by lewishamilton, yourusername and 1,628,273 others
sebastianvettel: Y/n and i have been dating for the past year and a half, yes we started dating when she was 19 (4 days before she was 20) and i had just turned 34 but we both discussed this for a while. We’re both legal, consenting, mature adults and choose to date each-other because we love eachother. There is nothing wrong with our relationship. If you find out relationship weird, then YOU are the problem (y/n taught me how to say that.)
Y/n is the love of my life and i don’t ever want that to change. Thanks to some people online, you have made my lovely, wonderful and beautiful girlfriend try to break up with me because she doesn’t want me getting hated on. We’re still very much together and will be for the foreseeable future.
I love you, Y/n. Ignore the jealous, immature children❤️
TAGGED: yourusername
yourusername: sobbing on my floor right now. i love you so so much😭❤️
sebastianvettel: don’t cry, my love.
lewishamilton: ignore the immature people, they don’t know what they’re talking about.
liked by yourusername
user: i actually feel really bad now
user: proud to say i’ve always been a y/nseb shipper btw
landonorris: i would say mother and father but y/n is younger than me so😔
yourusername: you aren’t helping this situation, Lando.
landonorris: it was a JOKE. you know i love you both really🙏🏼🙏🏼
liked by sebastianvettel
——————————
this is quite a short one cos i ran out of ideas lol, but anyway i hope you all enjoy!
this was either gonna be for carlos, daniel or seb but i chose seb cos he’s my fav person ever😛
AND YES I KNOW THE AGE GAP IS A LITTLE EXTREME BUT THIS IS ALL FICTION !!!
REQUESTS ARE STILL OPEN 🫶
masterlist | request
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BABY REVEAL 📸
with PG10, MSC47, CL16, LN4, GR63, DR3, CS55
a/n: happy new year everyone! here’s my second attempt on making an ig au hehe >_<
pierregasly
liked by ynricciardo, yukitsunoda0511, f1, charles_leclerc and others
pierregasly welcome to the world, daisy anthoinette gasly 🌼
view all 1,757 comments
charles_leclerc your godfather will meet you soon, daisy! ☺️
danielricciardo assuming that YOU are the godfather 🤨 I AM A STRONG CONTENDER, MATE.
ynricciardo oh hush, brother! we haven’t decided who it is yet... 🫣
yukitsunoda0511 congratulations, pierre! ❤️ missed the chance to name your baby after me... 😔
pierregasly why would i name my DAUGHTER after you?
yukitsunoda0511 hey! it’s not only a boys’ name!
ynricciardo maybe i can convince him for the next one, yuki 🤭
pierregasly there’s no way we’re naming our next child after him
fanusername i suppose, the 🐶 worked?
fan1username STFU 😭 whyd you ruin such a cute post with this comment
— next post.
mickschumacher
liked by yourusername, yourbffsusername, gina_schumacher, f1 and others
mickschumacher surprise, i’m mr new dad! 👨🍼 matteo schumacher is finally home 🤍
view all 1,975 comments
gina_schumacher our little bundle of joy and our favorite surprise ❤️ we’ll visit again soon, send my love to teo and y/n!
mickschumacher thanks gina! ❤️
yourusername teo misses you already, aunt gina 🥰
sebastianvettel congratulations to the new parents, mick & y/n!
yourusername thank you, seb! bring emily and matilda when you visit soon 🫶
fanusername WMICK HAS A SON????? HAT JUST HAPPPENF
fan1username i feel like we missed a WHOLE chapter bro 😭
fan2username NOT A CHAPTER BRO A WHOLE FUCKIN BOOK!! HOW TF DKD THIS HAPPEN ???
fan3username BRO I DIDNT EVEN KNOW MICK WAS DATING SOMEONE HELP
— next post.
charles_leclerc
liked by arthur_leclerc, lorenzotl, pierregasly, f1 and others
charles_leclerc carmen’s favorite bunny 🐰
view all 1,647 comments
georgerussell63 congratulations mate and yourusername! carmen and i will visit you three soon 😉
yourusername thank you georgie! it’ll be a cute meet up, carmen meets auntie carmen! 🥰
fanusername seems like you named her after carmenmmudnt?
charles_leclerc as much as y/n loves her paddock best friend, we really just chose the name that we thought of the moment we saw our daughter!
pierregasly daisy’s playmate!
fanusername PH MY GOD THEYRE GONNA BE BEST FRIENDS LIKE THEIR DADS
fan1username HELP THIS IS SO CUTE I CAN IMAGINE IT ALREADY
fan2username OOOH IMAGINE THEM PLATING AROUND THE PADDOCK 🥹🥹
— next post.
landonorris
liked by danielricciardo, f1, maxfewtrell, carlossainz55 and others
landonorris luke learned how to flip off his dad aka me... 🥲
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maxfewtrell i taught luke that when i babysat
ynfewtrell youre banned for life
maxfewtrell you cannot ban me, i’m luke’s favourite uncle
landonorris NOT ANYMORE
carlossainz55 ay dios mio... i almost had a heart attack, mate. it’s because me and isa were the last ones to babysit luke
isahernaez i got scared as well, but the rolls! 😍
ynfewtrell no worries! i know you two wouldn’t teach my baby these kind of things 🥹 and IKR!! I’M TRYING MY BEST NOT TO BITE THEM
landonorris *OUR BABY
ynfewtrell 🙄🙄
danielricciardo luke caught in 4k 📸
— next post.
georgerussell63
liked by lewishamilton, alex_albon, lilymhe, charles_leclerc, f1 and others
georgerussell63 crikey! that’s a big foot!
view all 1,864 comments
yourusername no wonder why it hurts every time he kicked me before :(
georgerussell63 well, he’s out now, love 😅 no more pain
yourusername no more pain yet he kicks me on his sleep, just like his dad 🙄
charles_leclerc george kicks on his sleep?????
yourusername he does 🙄 gabriel definitely takes it after him
georgerussell63 and gabriel takes after you for being so loud
lewishamilton congratulations to the new parents ❤️ gabriel is lucky to have you both in his life
yourusername thank you, sir lewis! 💗
lilymhe ooh i’m very excited to meet gabriel 🥺🤍
yourusername gabe is excited to meet his godparents as well 💗
alex_albon YO for real ??
yourusername you know it, albono! 😉
alex_albon i was thinking of dyeing hair green and convince lily to dye hers pink so we could be like the fairly odd parents
georgerussell63 please don’t do that
— next post.
danielricciardo
liked by landonorris, scottyjames31, michaelitaliano, f1 and others
danielricciardo jude us off to steal all the ladies’ (and gents) hearts in his uncle’s farm wedding
view all 1,499 comments
yourusername my little man 💗
danielricciardo why do you only comment on my posts when it comes to jude 😭 i’m hurt!!
yourusername 🙄🙄 don’t be such a baby
danielricciardo i’m just kidding 😘
yourbrothersig aahhh! my little ring bearer 🥹
yourusername he’s sooo excited 😍 see you later!
danielricciardo i still don’t get why you got jude to be the ring bearer, he’s only 5 months ...
yourusername IT’S CUTE, DANNY. JUST APPRECIATE IT.
landonorris bet there’ll be a lot if pictures for daniel3.jpg
yourusername he hasn’t stopped taking photos since we left for the farm 😅
fanusername #seated for the pictures
— next post.
carlossainz55
liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc, f1, landonorris, pierregasly and others
carlossainz55 alguien está disfrutando de su dia en la playa ⛱️ [someone is enjoying their day at the beach]
view all 1,388 comments
carlosonoros ¡disfrutar de las vacaciones! ❤️ [enjoy the vacation!]
carlossainz55 lo hare, gracias! 👍🏻❤️ [will do, thanks!]
yourusername thank you, caco! 🤍
yourbffsusername oh my lord!! the little toes!! 🥹
yourusername have you noticed that there’s a little rock(?) stuck between them 🥺
yourbffsusername OH MY GOD IM SOBBING THATS SO CUTE
yourmomsig how was sofia’s first trip to the beach? sending love 😘😘
carlossainz55 she was confused at first, but she loved it!
yourusername fia’s always confused, comes 100% from carlos 😅
carlossainz55 🙄
fanusername NOT HIS WIFE SAYING THAT LMAOOO LOVE YOU BOTH!!!
— previous post.
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my problem is i think most of p5s ships are cute and thats why i almost always am down for some form of polythieves
usually i just lump all the guys together cause all those ships are just so good to me??? and i mean like, every combination of them, even without ren. ill ship ryuji and yusuke. and i also love goro with either of them. ryugoro and akekita are so rare but theyre so nice?? they all just. clenches fists. theyre so good ot4 pegoryugorokita
goroann besties is real in my heart. also goroharu being like the Cursed besties ever in the end like. my god they have such a wack and unhinged platonic soulmates/kindred spirits potential. goromako rivals forever my guy they are so fucking funny. and ryukoto is kinda cute...
i think shumako is nice but its just not my cuppa tea. they are dear friends and i do love the image of ren and makoto being a bit rivalcoded and butting heads over phantom thievery and how to lead the team best. and goro is weirdly the one who can actually somehow stop arguments before they happen and get them to compromise.
makoto is NOT the mom friend okay she is the bossy and protective older sister friend. and she is smart and sensible but not immune to her friends infecting her with Stupid. ren is the mom friend. and the dad friend. best of both things. :)
ren: its hard raising 8 kids when youre in high school and an 18 y/o whos like if a divorced widow was a boy 😔
sojiro: what happened to your husband???
ren: he was lost at sea
goro: ren, look at this dog i saw on my way here
ren: i can still hear his voice
meanwhile i love futago half siblings headcanon. so while goro and makoto are a little more sibling rivalry coded, futaba is still goros actual gremlin sibling who will bully him to death. meanwhile, futaba is actually adoptive siblings with ren. these two are WAY more sibling coded than goro and futaba ever.
and when futaba starts trying to do similar Sibling dynamic things with goro. goro is like ??? "ren, futaba just came in here. stared at me. burped. and then left. what does this mean." and ren is like. "oh is there food? theyre probably telling you theres food and to come out if you want some. or if this is your first time seeing them today they could just be greeting you." and goro is like ????? but louder this time
i love shujin trio poly... and i default to them being the OG Cule. shuann? v cute love them. ryuann? also cute and honestly v funny of how messy i imagine their hookups being. like they keep breaking up and eventually finding their way back to each other. sometimes i see them as sibling coded, too, more than anything else. overall i just love these three together they are the tomodachis of all time they are partners for life
i also love ryuharu. and harukita (yuharu?) theyre really cute.... then theres good ol makoharu and annmako (makoann?) and i love them too... honestly love hifumi and makoto too?? i think they would be huge fucking dorks together... perhaps.... rivals, even?
goro and hifumi being friends... good shit. hifumi and yusuke being close friends? plz... and ren and hifumi are just. wahh i love them theyre so good. even futaba and hifumi could be cute, honestly.... wtf
and we cannot forget ANNSHIHO,,, forever. my GORLS.... lesbiabs of my heart.
anntaba is a rare one but theyre also v cute to me... and if they arent girlfriends i love the idea of futaba having a crush on her and then realizing those feelings are actually just Admiration and Gender envy. i also love the idea of morgana finding out his crush on ann is ALSO GENDER ENVY RELATED.... we love nonbiney morgana. hope is genderless
ren: my CAT IS TRANS!? NOT CLICKBAIT?
and makoto is always being an older sister to futaba. yutaba is nice, too. i honestly see futaba and yusuke being aspec and theyre platonic soulmates and in a qpp. and ofc sumitaba my beloved... i love sumitaba a lot
i adore ryusumi too like oh myg od,,.. wahh.... the sweeties. sumikita is so rare but like. i think they could be kinda cute too?? sumigoro is V platonic soulmates to me like my god theyre so. clenches fist. honestly whole royal trio tbh is just. "they can make each other worse" and each of them thinking "thank god im the normal one here" thats it thats the whole dynamic. and its so funny.
shusumi is cute too but honestly i think i prefer both ren and goro have somethin of a platonic soulmates or older sibling dynamic with sumire. they have adopted her okay. sumiann isnt one i see a lot either but they.... THEM.....
any mishima ship is super funny imo but like, theyre cute. love yuuki having a crush on ren but like. the game makes it near impossible for you to actually be fucking nice to him so i always get the vibe that ren would rather keep him at a distance, even tho they appreciate him and care about him.
its okay tho cause i say hes good friends with the OG trio + shiho and they vibe. yuuki crushing on goro, to his own horror? hilarious. and weirdly enough shiho and ren?? idk what their acronym is. but. oh my god. theyre actually weirdly cute? but i see them having disaster twins energy. theyre absolute menaces.
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Ranking NRC dorms on how much I would trust and like their cooking -
fair warning: I've skipped like most culinary croucible events and forgot 90% of the ones i played, so this is all based on my subjective reading of their vibes and the limited canon knowledge i could gather in my brain
Contents: As the title says +individual characters ranked
Characters: All dorms + students and teachers
1. Scarabia
do i even need to explain this one??
One of the first episodes in their chapter was literally cooking with jamil
I LOVE middle eastern food. give me hummus and some pita bread and im set for life.
Pre scarabia arc jamil would be a dangerous choice, but post chapter? im gonna be knocking on his door with bribes so that he gives me any extra food he made 🙏
not kalim tho, yall stay safe
(also wrote this while at Agrabah's cafe in disney land, so my opinion might be skewed)
Continues under this cut!!
2. Octavinelle
Mans whole bussiness is food
if im paying for it i better be getting something good
but would NEVER try to ask any of them to cook for me (for free obv) bc i dont think that would end well (for me)
Jade?? mixing mushrooms he found somewhere
Floyd? forgets and goes somewhere, now the kitchen is burnt
Azul? nuh huh 💀 i aint seeling my soul for some toast
theyre like, Norwegian/italian i think?? and idk much about Norwegian cuisine but like italian is soooo good 🤞
3. Heartslabyul
Only for the sweets (i might not trust trey but i have a sweet tooth)
I dont mind tea, but they better not bring out their British cuisine out
If i see any fish n chips im evaporating from that table (lies, free food is free food)
i wanna go to an unbirthday party 😔
riddle would cook something too healthy and would count my calorie intake 💀
ace or deuce? id better be getting ready to get intoxication
cater... i just dont see him cooking
4. Pomefiore
listen... theyre mostly rich pampered boys, so would they even be cooking?
i dont trust the source of Rook's food
epel would only give me apple based foods (tasty, but gets boring after a while)
Vil would probably give me those weird natural green smoothies AND I DONT WANT THAT 🤬
+ i dont like french people (jk)
5. Ighnihyde
listen
HEAR ME OUT
ik theyre all nerds and all they eat is instant ramen
BUT GREEK FOOD.
all for that greek yogurt 😩
idia doesn't know how to cook except for instant foods which i dont mind (he gets favourite character treatment)
ortho,,, questionable. He has access to the internet (aka infinite recipes) but would it taste good? hes like 10
6. Savanaclaw
sweaty men.
i should just leave it at that ngl
leona? rich ahh man (a GROWN man at that!! 20 whole years of age!!!) and he probably doesn't even know how to fry an egg
ruggie? no way he gives me anything good for free 😭
Jack is the only one i would trust, but man probably also drinks protein shakes and those sad chicken breast and rice meals.
7. Diasomnia
no thank you
i like my soul staying where it is.
i dont trust their magical food
lillia is not even my last choice if im ever hungry, he aint a choice AT ALL
Malleus... he probably doesn't know how to physically cook?? sure he can bibidi babidi boop me some food like the giant fairy godmother he is, but i want something real man 😔
Sebek... protein shake man...
Silver MUST know how to cook (living with lillia would be imposible if not) so if i HAD to, I would go to him, but i dont want him to fall asleep and faceplant on my food 😭
+ Characters Ranked in tiers! (students and teachers)
The best, five star Michelin food:
Jamil, Trey, Trein
You could be happy eating:
Vil, Epel, Floyd, Silver, Azul, Ruggie, Crewel
Its food:
Jack, Cater, idia (if making instant ramen) Ortho, Sam
its... food?:
Rook (seriously, where did he get that?), Jade, Ace, Deuce, Malleus (the food is uncorporeal), Sebek, Vargas
dubious taste, would rather not:
Riddle, Kalim, Leona (its just a slab of uncooked meat), Idia (if trying to cook real food)
call 911 BEFORE eating please:
Lillia, Grim, Crowley
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