Bingqiu roleswap where disciple Shen Yuan knows he's gay, and figures out that he has a big huge crush on his handsome Shizun, but also concludes nearly at once that he's not going to be drawing Luo Binghe's eye any time soon. Firstly, Luo Binghe is notoriously straight. Secondly, even if he weren't, he wouldn't go for his scrawny untalented nerd of a disciple! Shen Yuan's not bad looking, not before or after transmigrating, but he's neither a beautiful nor a hot manly man, and he assumes if Luo Binghe were into dudes he'd be into the same kinds of twunks that Shen Yuan likes. Guys on his own level, etc etc.

Plus Luo Binghe hated the original disciple Shen, and only started to warm up to the transmigrated version after Shen Yuan got injured in front of him trying to stop the other disciples on the peak from killing a small animal. For some reason, Luo Binghe brought Shen Yuan medicine. He got even nicer after Shen Yuan distracted the skinner demon by trying to convince it to take his skin instead of Luo Binghe's, and then again when Shen Yuan successfully fought off a demon invader -- though initially when Luo Binghe volunteered him for that job, he thought it was an assassination attempt. His heart was in his throat when Luo Binghe nearly took a poisoned blow for him, but luckily he reacted more quickly and got hit by the thorns instead. His heavenly demon blood took care of the poison, and he managed to convince everyone that he narrowly avoided getting cut at all.

Shen Yuan's careful not to read anything into it when Luo Binghe finds out about his, erm, uncomfortable dormitory situation and moves him into the side room, or when he completely messes up trying to make dinner and Luo Binghe takes over cooking and bans him from the kitchen (he swears he's not actually that bad at cooking, he just never had to use a kitchen without a microwave or an electric hot plate before...)

After all, it's not like Luo Binghe is cooking for him, he's just making food he likes and letting Shen Yuan eat it too! Because he's nice! He's way nicer than the book gave him credit for being, see, clearly Shen Yuan was correct in signing up for his defense squad, "top ten worst villains of all time" his ass that poll was nonsense...

Unfortunately, though, the plot's still gotta plot. Shen Yuan is heartbroken when the Immortal Alliance Conference rolls around and his shizun stabs him and throws him down into the Endless Abyss. Heartbroken, but not surprised. After all, it was always going to go this way, wasn't it?

But at least, now that it's done, he has some agency in how he reacts to it. He's changed the story enough that he doesn't need to go get revenge. Maybe Luo Binghe's still the villain of his story, maybe that was inevitable, but some heroes let the villains get away. Don't they? It's all part of that noble, breaking the cycle of abuse type stuff. He can be that kind of hero. He can let it go. As long as he avoids Luo Binghe altogether, it should be fine, right? It's not like he's obligated to turn people into human sticks. He asked the system, he's definitely not!

Technically he's not even required to conquer the demon realms. He just has to get out of the Abyss and the be sufficiently cool and/or tragic. Conquest is just one means of doing that, and not even Shen Yuan's preferred, since he doesn't exactly want to rule over anybody. Going around the demon realms beating up some jackasses and rescuing some damsels in distress and becoming sworn brothers with Shang Qinghua, one of the current demon kings, is suitable. He definitely doesn't want to marry any of the damsels he encounters (thank fuck the system lets him off the hook for that!)

But eventually he has to go back to the human world. Not only is it mandated by the system, but he also misses living there. The demonic realms are in many ways better than expected, plus a lot of the monsters are really cool, but he misses the weather and plants and the people he's more accustomed to being around.

He misses Qing Jing Peak, if he's being honest with himself. Shizun's cooking and the bamboo forest and the crisp mountain breezes, the comforts of home.

Not that he can actually go back there in specific. Of course not. If he did that, Luo Binghe would try to kill him, or else the system would try and make him kill Luo Binghe. Bad ideas all around. No, he can't go back to Qing Jing Peak, but he can go find someplace nicer than the demon realms at least. He just has to keep a low profile, which shouldn't be hard since the original goods did that even while actively scheming to kill his former master!

Except.

Everywhere he goes, suddenly Luo Binghe is also there?!

Good thing Shen Yuan thought to take a page out of the book of Luo Binghe's actual love interest, Liu Mingyan, and start wearing a veil. He just didn't want any randos who might have seen him at the Immortal Alliance Conference or on any of the other missions his shizun sent him on to recognize him. But one minute he's investigating a strange case in Jinlan City, and the next the streets are full of Huan Hua cultivators (Shen Yuan has no intention of joining them, that's the path the original took to getting revenge! He doesn't want revenge!), and then Luo Binghe and Sect Leader MBJ and Peak Lord SHL show up, and SY is ducking down alleys and hiding behind columns, just trying to stay out of the way until the lockdown on Jinlan lifts and he can leave.

Except...

Luo Binghe really isn't acting like himself?

He looks like he hasn't been eating or sleeping well. There are dark circles around his eyes, and something almost melancholy in his countenance. And he's dressed entirely in white, none of the usual Qing Jing greens and blues anywhere to be seen. Of even greater concern, he's being reckless. Shen Yuan can't stop himself from rushing out when he sees his former shizun get infected by a sower demon.

Luckily, it's been some years since the last time they saw one another. Shen Yuan's gained a few inches in height, so he's almost at eye-level with his old master now, and though he's still more slender than bulky he's picked up some totally new styles from training the demon realms. He doesn't move the same way he used to. With that, plus the veil, it's enough for him to quickly swallow back his words as he grabs Luo Binghe and quickly administers a cure for the sower infection.

Well, he has one of course. He wouldn't need it himself, heavenly demon blood and all, but his time running around playing hero in the demon realms meant he rescued a lot of humans from such fates. Which is hard to do if you don't have a cure to their afflictions, but between him and Shang Qinghua, sourcing such things was almost easy.

Luo Binghe looks at him like he's just seen a ghost. The other Cang Qiong sect members are alarmed by SY suddenly accosting one of their own and of course find him suspicious, so he runs away right after, and then he has to lose Sha Hualing's pursuit in the city.

But what else could he do? He manages to evade the system's attempts to railroad him into meeting Gongyi Xiao, avoids the rest of the Cang Qiong crowd, and drops some of the cure through the current Qian Cao peak lord's window to get the incident sorted out. Then he flees and puts a good amount of distance between himself, Jinlan City, and every righteous sect he can think of.

The only problem is that after this point, Luo Binghe is everywhere.

Any time Shen Yuan stays in one place for longer than a few days, Qing Jing disciples start turning up. Any time he takes a job hunting some cool-sounding monster or pursuing some interesting tome of knowledge, the better to satisfy the system, it seems like Luo Binghe has selected and gone after the exact same target! Which is especially annoying because back when SY was a disciple, Luo Binghe was always assigning him to do this stuff. Since when does his chronic homebody master have an interesting in six-tailed scorpion lemurs or ancient spiritual kilns?

What's weirder, though, are the rumors.

It seems like any time SY stops at some well-populated place and asks for the latest gossip, he has to hear about how the Qing Jing peak lord lost his beloved disciple during the Immortal Alliance Conference, and mourned like a widow, and now wanders the earth in search of solace for his grief. Seeking something, possibly even the ghost of his dear disciple.

What nonsense! Luo Binghe threw SY into the Abyss himself. He had to do it, it was the plot! And also his obligation as a righteous cultivator, confronted with a "dangerous" half-demon. Does it sting? Yes it stings! That's why SY wouldn't just forget it! Despite logically knowing it's pointless, is there some part of him that wishes his master would have chosen differently? That thinks he should have known that no matter what kind of power Shen Yuan had, he would never use it to hurt people recklessly, or harm innocents, or especially not harm... well. It's pointless, his blood condemned him, and if there is some part of Luo Binghe which regrets what happened, it's doubtless just that he unwittingly harbored a monster for so long.

Which is fine and Shen Yuan would leave it at that, if the guy would just let him!

But no. Instead he has to deal with Luo Binghe turning up and asking him questions, trying to get him to talk (SY has no hope of disguising his voice, if he says anything he's not even sure it won't crack as he comes perilously close to tears instead, so he just stays silent), and then asking for his name, asking if he's mute, asking about his background, his sect, his kin. Is his a righteous cultivator? Where did he get that sword? (NOT Xin Mo, thanks, he used that thing once and then tossed it back into the Abyss before the portal finished closing behind him -- he knows a poisoned chalice when he sees one, although knowing the plot twist about that sword from the novel sure helped.) Where did he learn those forms? Is he... does he have a safe place to go home to? Someone to tend his injuries? Make sure he eats his meals?

SY, of course, stays silent. But it's difficult. Not only because Luo Binghe asks, but because he still looks... bad. Sunken, sorrowful, desperate almost. Shen Yuan can't figure out if he knows or not. Maybe he's unsure, maybe he's looking for SY to give him a sign, so that he can figure him out and then flip a switch and try to finish the job he started.

That can't happen. If they fight, SY will win, and he doesn't want to hurt Luo Binghe.

But even if Luo Binghe's not a heavenly demon, he is a highly accomplished cultivator, and it seems he's got his own breaking points to reach. Eventually he corners SY and gets a hand on his veil, and for a moment SY is sure he's going to rip it off, see his face, and confront him all "I knew it was you, you twisted evil demon, you won't escape justice a second time" and he feels a deep, icy terror close around his lungs--

Luo Binghe lets go of the veil before he can lift it.

But then something even worse happens. Because Shen Yuan's handsome, peerless, noble master breaks down. He falls to his knees, begging forgiveness, sobbing, clutching at his head like he's being driven to madness.

It all spills out of him, then. How he pushed his own dearest disciple into the Abyss, which obviously SY already knew, but also how he was apparently qi-deviating the whole time, and his senses could not differentiate between one kind of demonic "threat" and another. How he realized what he'd done only after he regained his senses hours later, and rushed back to the place where the tear to the Abyss had opened, but could not find a way in after the one he lost. How he had betrayed and thrown away the only person who cared about him, and couldn't even explain that he hadn't intended to. How he would accept anything, any punishment, hatred, penance, or revenge, if only he could see his disciple's face once more.

SY is stunned.

Apparently, Luo Binghe hadn't rejected him for his demon blood?

Not only that, but beforehand, he seemed to have valued Shen Yuan a lot more than Shen Yuan would have credited.

Is it a trick? Is he lying? SY would have guessed so, would have assumed that Luo Binghe's plan was to lull him into complacency only to turn on him once he finally had confirmation. But somehow, he just... doesn't think this is an insincere display. His old master is too cool for this stuff! He has too much dignity to just throw it away on a scheme! There are other ways to get what he wants.

Even if it is a lie, Shen Yuan is tired of running. He's the hero. He won't actually lose, and if it comes to it, it's still in his hands to decide if he wants to spare Luo Binghe or not (he does, of course he does, even if this whole spiel is an act). Plus he's got a backup plant body in one of Shang Qinghua's greenhouses if all goes to shit.

He takes the veil off himself.

Luo Binghe, teary-eyed, stares at him as if his face is the most beautiful he's ever seen.

Shen Yuan nearly puts the veil back on. His cheeks heat up. Dear Shizun, aren't you an immortal master? A noble peak lord? Isn't it your calling to vanquish demons? Get up off the dirty ground right this minute! Where did your dignity go? Shen Yuan did not spend all those nights doing the laundry to watch his teacher dirty his knees for no good reason!

There's a quaver in Luo Binghe's voice as he points out that Shen Yuan was terrible at doing laundry. Luo Binghe had to redo it the day after, all the time.

Shen Yuan chides at him that he should have made one of the other disciples do it then.

Luo Binghe just laughs, and stays on the ground, until finally Shen Yuan has to physically pull him up. Muttering about how he's being ridiculous, what's he crying for, why's he been moping so much, doesn't he know that handsome face should never look so bereft? Then he realizes what he's saying and shuts his mouth, but Luo Binghe just looks happy for the first time in years. Since the Abyss. How is it possible that SY, who actually had to slog through that awful place, can still smile more than Luo Binghe, who didn't?

They're standing so close. Holding on to one another. Almost as if... as if the scene's tone is... well...

Oh what the hell!

Shen Yuan closes the last little bit of distance between them, and kisses Luo Binghe.

I'm genuinely REELING waiting for Doc's reaction to the Buttercups COVERING UP THE PERIMETER

Like. They really did that. Omfg they actually did that. They covered up Doc's 500 x 500 hole, AND added trees and grass. It's TERRAFORMED TO LOOK LIKE ACTUAL TERRAIN HELP

It took them like 20 HOURS with 7-10 people working on it.

Mumbo and Scar kept complaining like. We're really doing this? We can just make it flat right? Omg Grian's serious we're actually doing this.

Meanwhile Grian's like trying to divide the numbers down to convince them that, no, guys, this is an AMAZING idea. Then gathering everyone just to say he has a shulker of saplings because of course just covering it isn't enough. My blorbo is UNHINGED.

At one point Scar told Grian they were petitioning to make it flat, but Mumbo chickened out and was like no no it's fine. Scar's betrayed 'cause Mumbo agreed with him before and Mumbo's response? Grian wasn't there. He is afraid of how hell bent Grian is on this project.

Grian: Can't take a few hours to finish the back of his base because "it's boring"

Also Grian: Let's all waste 20 hours of our lives terraforming Doc's giant freaky experiment hole with dirt!

Clearly, manz has got priorities lol

And every time that Doc's little threatening PSA-style (villain monologue) motivational speech came on, it just spurred them on more with rage. Like I'm fairly certain that PSA was the only thing keeping Scar and Mumbo backing out from Grian's insane idea of a prank.

Like, Grian really heard Doc's, "Get grinding," and, "you can always do more," messages and was like. Y'know what? Yeah. I could always do more. It's about time someone filled in the giant pothole anyway.

Dude. The remnants of the Buttercup camp is now a bigger hole than the parimeter. I'm live laugh LOVING THISSSS AHHHHH

If you thought I was insufferable after Actually Gay Pirates on Our Flag Means Death, buckle up because I just got Actually Gay Vampires That I've Wanted To Be Confired As Gay Since I Was 14 on AMC's Interview with the Vampire.

They're so fucking unhinged I love it

Acacia, since you’re offering, is it okay that I ask for your thoughts on Josele x the Fausts? 🥺👉👈

I’d be fascinated to hear your thoughts.

Of course, Erika! I was actually really hoping you would ask me because, as I am sure you know, I am just obsessed with Nacsele. Sorry Morgen. I love him. How could I not? He’s a total sweetheart, and him and Josele were very cute, but I am unapologetically Team Nacht all the way! I adore their deep friendship and the quick wit & banter that they share, but it's really the angst of that pairing that just elevates it for me. I mean they support each other through their trauma and grief, and then, fall in love?! Even when they believe they're too broken to ever be loved and to be happy again, they show each other that they can be. 😭 I'm going to sob. It's beautiful and is more compelling to me than I have the words to express.

I'm sure it's no secret that I am not much of a romantic, but what you may not know about me is that I do actually have some favorite love stories one of which is a movie called "Return to Me" which is about a man, Bob, who loses his wife in a tragic accident and swears off love forever, but he eventually finds healing and falls in love with the wonderful woman whose life was saved by receiving his deceased wife's heart in a heart transplant. (This is literally all established in the first 5 minutes of the movie so it’s not a spoiler, I promise). The heroine of this film, Grace, is just so incredibly sensitive to his loss and so supportive of him, and one of the main conflicts of the movie is that she cares about him so much that she is heartbroken to learn that even though this transplant saved her life, it caused him so much pain and suffering. The other conflict, of course, is Bob (the main man) coming to realize that even though he truly loved his wife and is always going to miss her, that doesn't mean that he can't love Grace just as much. It's real. It's beautiful, and it's so sincere that it just pulls at my heartstrings every single time. Needless to say, I have an extremely intense passion for stories about finding love after unbelievable tragedy and loss, and Nacht x Josele fit that category so well so of course I'm going to eat that up.

This pairing was just made for me to love. I mean, it also has a complicated brother relationship and they're childhood friends to lovers. Gah! It just has everything. Nacsele is just everything!

I don't think I'm even making any sense right now, but it's so, so good. I find myself just randomly thinking about them like I would with any canon character x canon character ship. I guess that just means they're canon to me. 😁

Just a silly short vid featuring Sonic & Tails being typical brothers (to lyrics from "Peppermint Winter" by Owl City - *SOUND ON*) 😂😁💙💛

🤣🤣 I had way too much fun with this

Here are the individual panels (and a YouTube link while we're at it 😁)

YouTube link

We spend all our time headcanoning Red as the voice of reason for Ash, only for DeNA to go the opposite route and design SST Red to completely enable Ash's rain of destruction.

What if Chay was slightly (ever so slightly) more unhinged and he was actually a sasaeng fan of Wik?

And what if Kim, instead of having the normal human response of oh, I dunno, GTFO or calling the police or his bodyguards, thought wow... that's hot.

Welp, luckily for all of us, I wrote it into a story LOL

(please mind the tags, it's definitely not my usual crack fic)

Batfics - "Sass and Snarkability"

Title: Sass and Snarkability

Rating: Teen and Up (language)

Category: Gen

Characters/Relationships: Damian Wayne & Dick Grayson & Duke Thomas & Jason Todd

Words: 450

“That’s the wrong one,” Jason said, mostly on reflex and half under his breath.

Unfortunately he was in a room full of Bats, and half under his breath was still not quiet enough to go unnoticed.

(Full text under the cut or over on AO3)

They were supposed to be catching up on some case work, specifically the kind of tedious shit that fell by the wayside far too easily in the face of, you know, imminent disaster, but Jason strongly suspected he was the only one actually doing so, and doing a pretty shitty job of it, too. In his defense, that was partly because he was having to try to tune out whatever stupid trivia show was on the TV and Dick’s frequent (and, Jason was sure, deliberately) wrong answers and Damian’s derisive corrections (because apparently either the kid hadn’t figured out that Dick was fucking with him or his own arrogance was too strong not to prove himself correct).

At least Duke was quiet while he failed to focus on his report.

Jason was making some kind of progress ignoring the others until he heard Dick cheerfully answer, “Pride and Prejudice”, which piqued his curiosity enough to glance up and read the question.

“That’s the wrong one,” he said, mostly on reflex and half under his breath.

Unfortunately he was in a room full of Bats, and half under his breath was still not quiet enough to go unnoticed.

“What?” Dick asked, sitting up a little. Jason cursed himself for speaking up because now he had Dick’s attention, which meant he could kiss the idea of getting any more work done goodbye. On the TV, the host read out the correct answer of “Sense and Sensibility”, at least saving Jason from having to answer.

He fully intended to let it go, but of course Dick did not.

“Is there just a rule that they all have to have alliterative titles?” he asked, ostensibly of the room at large but definitely very much directed at Jason, who was not giving him the satisfaction of whatever inane conversation this was going to turn into.

"Envy and Embarrassment?"

“Dick,” Jason attempted to interject, because if they let him get going on word games they would be dealing with it for the next hour.

"Shame and Shallowness."

Jason flicked a pen cap at him, which he swatted aside with infuriating ease. Damian clicked his tongue and shifted away a little bit so he would be out of the line of fire but otherwise offered zero help.

“Anger and Arrogance?” Dick offered, laughing, and then immediately flipped himself over the back of the couch to put it between him and an increasingly annoyed Jason who had just grabbed one of the pillows off the armchair and was clearly ready to make him stop.

“Actually that one kind of fits,” Duke said thoughtfully, utterly ignoring the impending fight. He had figured that lesson out a long time ago.

Sirius and Remus would definitely sometimes watch each other sleep, not because cute and romantic but because they're so fucking traumatized that they'd just wake up and need to make sure the other is breathing.

(...Which of course leads to every once in a while one of them waking up to the other being an inch away from their face, and again -- traumatized men. You can imagine how that goes down lmao.)

btw i'm so obssessed with her. she does Everything with the drama level of a soap opera and she's wait-around-like-a-sad-dog levels of enamored with a girl who keeps snubbing her to draw buddha yaoi manga. truly an icon

Prompt:

Pairing: Mafia! Octavinelle and MC/Yuu/ Reader

Genre: Hurt/ Comfort ig? Slight crack

TW: Kidnapping, blood, minor character deaths, mc does get a little hurt, mentions of guns, usage of guns, violence (because mafia au), mc also curses at one point, talk of killing people, the prefect wears earrings and has hair (i saw someone use put this in warnings once). Let me know if I should add anything else!

AN: First request for TWST ^^ It's my first time writing for the Octavinelle trio, so please forgive me if they're ooc, I tried my best. This was very fun to work on! Send me asks if you wanna know more about my version of mafia!twst because I had so many thoughts about this entire au but I couldn't fit everything in one post lol. Not really happy with the ending (when am I ever) but I hope you enjoy!

"I'm telling you, you don't wanna do this," You warned your captors for the third time as they checked the cuffs holding you up by your arms. It was an uncomfortable position, kneeling with your arms restrained with metal chains above your head. Your shoulders felt sore, and with how every movement made the skin of your wrists rub against the harsh metal, you just knew that you were going to be sporting some pretty nasty bruises around them.

Vil was going to be furious about that.

You watched as the leader came into your range of vision, a self-satisfied smirk painting his face as he walked over to you. There was quite some distance for him to cross to reach you, and he took his sweet time as he leisurely walked over to you. Probably an intimidation tactic, just like how making you kneel was.

You looked at him, unperturbed. Your eyes roamed over the man, who for all his intimidation tactics, was nothing but a poor little boy way in over his head. A reckless little minnow who didn't know his place, as Floyd would say.

Speaking of Floyd. You grimaced at the monstrosity of an outfit the man was wearing. In all your time as a valued member of the mafia, you had seen many outlandish outfits, courtsey of the more openly unhinged Leech twin and the field of work you were in (power had a way of killing the fashion sense of people and letting it rot inside their head). But this... was on a whole another level.

You mentally lit a candle for everyone who had to witness the... very unique display.

A sharp slap snapped you out of your thoughts. 'Did this man, just backhand me? Well fuck you too bitch', You thought to yourself as you looked back at the still smirking man. You could feel a bit of wetness at the edge of your lip, a slight stinging also being felt at the same spot. Your tongue darted out, recognizing the metallic taste of blood as you gingerly licked at the small wound.

"So this is the little Prefect of Night Raven, hm? How... pathetic. Truly, the mafia organization has fallen if they allow the likes of you to hold any position higher than a discardable pawn," he huffed, and you resisted rolling your eyes. Here comes the villainous monologue, you thought to yourself.

As the man spoke, you took note of the people in the room. Apart from you and the man, there were five other men, all very familiar faces. All of them were earlier members of NRC, who left the organization 'honorably' before your appointment as the consigliere to Dire Crowley, the main boss.

There was nothing honorable about the way they were treating you right now though.

Very reluctantly, you listened to the man's speech about how he was basically aiming to cripple Night Raven Mafia by killing you. You forced back a yawn through the speech that was supposed to strike fear into your heart; unfortunately for him, you dealt with seven very unpredictable and occasionally difficult underbosses on a daily basis. Said underbosses must have already been informed of your forced absence.

Now it was just a matter of waiting and watching to see exactly who would come to your rescue...

The door slammed open as soon as you thought that, and the eyes of every person in the room turned to it. You smiled as a very familiar face entered the room, his mismatched eyes dark and foreboding.

"Hi Floyd," you chirped, unfazed by the frown on his face and the dangerous aura around him. Floyd's eyes met yours for a moment, brightening at seeing you, before turning even harsher when he saw the state you were in; clothes (gifted to you by Riddle) rumpled, carefully styled hair (courtesy of Vil) in a disarray, and a slight swelling on the side of your face you were struck at (which would send nearly everyone into a murderous frenzy).

"Who touched my Shrimpy?" Floyd growled out at the men. "Don'tcha know that I'm the only one allowed to rough them up? You're just begging to be squeezed to death."

At this point, the men, who were earlier frozen in fear, started to fumble with their guns. Before they could even get their weapons out, gunshots rang throughout the room, each man dropping to the floor one by one.

"Ah, pardon me, but I would prefer if you did not aim your weapons at my brother," a familiar voice spoke from behind Floyd to the now dead men in the room.

You grimaced at the blood now flowing out and seeping onto the floor, the puddle growing in size and inching closer to you.

"Jade, get me out of these things," you said, successfully getting his attention as you rattled the chains holding you up.

"Ah, of course dear Prefect," Jade hummed, and you did not need to look at his face to know that he was smiling. Jade walked over to you, stopping only to take the keys to your chains from the pocket of the leader. Placing the key into the lock and turning it released you from your uncomfortable position, and you yelped as you flopped onto the ground unceremoniously.

"Shrimpy~" Floyd's rapid changes in mood was one thing you did not believe you would ever get used to, "did you really get kidnapped by this sad little bunch of minnows?" He asked, pulling you to your feet and slightly spinning you.

"Shrimpy is so helpless~"

"Indeed," Jade smiled, and you felt a shiver run down your spine. You would never get used to the all too malicious upturn of Jade's lips either. He took you from Floyd's arms, ignoring his twin's grumbling as he dusted off your clothes. "Pray tell, how could such... insignificant little men capture you, dear Prefect?"

Before you could answer, a third voice rang through the room. "Jade! Floyd! I told you not to kill any of them!" Azul huffed as he entered your line of vision, glaring at the two men who sandwiched you.

"Ah, pardon me Azul, but they were going to aim their weapons at Floyd. Not to mention how terribly they were treating the Prefect," Jade hummed, not at all repentant of his actions. Azul huffed in frustration, glaring at his consigliere.

You gave him a little wave, and Azul's eyes softened as they met yours. He looked calm and collected as he walked over to you, but the trembling of his hands as he held yours gave his true feelings away. His eyes quickly scanned your body for wounds, narrowing in displeasure at the reddened skin around your wrists and the cut on the corner of your lip.

"Prefect."

"Azul," you said, not missing the way his eyes relaxed considerably as he saw you wearing the seashell earrings he had gifted you. "Ah, so that was how Idia-san found out you were kidnapped almost immediately," he hummed. You raised an eyebrow at his words.

"The earrings have trackers in them," Jade helpfully explained.

"Well, in any case, we must take you back to the Lounge. Everyone else must have assembled there by now."

"Huh? Why?"

"Because, Prefect, we were supposed to bring your kidnappers so that a joint decision could be taken for their punishment," Azul sighed as he pushed his glasses up his nose slightly.

You glanced at your kidnappers, wrinkling your nose as the blood puddle slowly crept closer to your shoes. "They're dead."

"A most unfortunate incident, yes. But, nevertheless, their identities will suffice for now. This just goes to show that we must never leave any loose ties," Azul said ominously. "Perhaps my dear colleagues will learn a lesson from this."

"... Sure. And how did you three manage to make them stay back at the Lounge while you carried out this rescue mission?"

"The heads found it best to send us three since we were most likely to bring your captors back alive," Azul said, glaring at Floyd who just roamed around the room disinterested in the conversation. "Well, that is what Crewel and Trein thought, at least."

You chuckled. "I don't think the outcome would've been any different with the others either so... let's just get to the Lounge."

Azul smiled. "As you wish, Prefect."

AITA for joining a "cult" that thinks my sister and mom are Darkfriends?

First, some backstory. I (30m) have always been an outsider in my family. It wasn't anything to do with my parents - dad (dead) always spent all his time with me instead of my younger siblings, and (step)mom (43f) always gave me extra attention compared to her bio kids because she didn't want me to feel neglected - or with my brother (21m), who's always looked up to me. It was all because of my sister (19f). She's hated and bullied me ever since she was a toddler, and I have no idea why. I guess maybe she doesn't think I'm her real brother, or blames me for telling on her whenever she did irresponsible things like climb trees and talk to strangers. All I've ever done is try to keep her safe, but she's never appreciated it.

Anyway, there's this organization (my sister claims it's a cult, though I don't think that's fair) that's dedicated to serving the Light. My mom always hated them and kept them banned from our country because she thinks they have an agenda against women who can channel, and she's one herself, as is my sister. I used to believe her, but after reading one book written by the organization's founder, I realized that my mom has a totally biased view of them and they're actually doing really important work founded on admirable principles. So when my sister went missing at the hands of women who can channel, I decided I'd had enough of those women lying to everyone all the time and I joined this organization.

I did have my view of them shaken when I found out my mom had been kidnapped, abused, and murdered by one of their leaders (turns out she's actually still alive though, don't worry about that), but I challenged that leader to an honorable duel and killed him to avenge my mom, and my friends and I rooted out a handful of other corrupt members of the organization, so now with that small minority gone, the rest of us can continue doing the Light's work and spreading awareness of the evils of the One Power.

To be clear, I OBVIOUSLY don't think my sister and mom are Darkfriends; it's only everyone else who uses the One Power who is. I've explained this to my sister multiple times but it only makes her angrier instead of grateful that I'm making an exception for her and choosing to believe the best of her. It feels like I can never do anything right in her eyes, but maybe I've somehow got the wrong understanding of the situation. So, AITA?

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u/dainbornhald: NTA. Your sister's problem isn't actually that you joined this organization (which totally does sound 100% Light-serving). She doesn't think you're her real brother and is just looking for any excuse to continue the bullying, manipulation, and gaslighting she's been using on you since she was a toddler. [+5k votes] u/childbyar: Came here to say this. Sister sounds like a textbook abuser, and, honestly, almost definitely a Darkfriend. I'd go no contact with her, OP, and maybe get a restraining order if you have to - she's obviously unhinged. [+1.2k votes]

u/amyrlinseat: You joined a cult that thinks your sister is a Darkfriend based on an innate characteristic about her that she didn't choose and can't change (unlike you, who DID choose to join this cult), and you're whining that she's mad at you for it??? YTA [-749 votes]

u/luckyfox: YTA for the cult thing, but this whole family's got serious mommy AND daddy issues (take it from an expert). Sister resents you for getting all your parents' attention growing up, and you have a victim complex about being a stepchild/half-brother. I can only wonder what might be going on with the middle brother who wasn't mentioned much here. You guys need to go to therapy. [+2 votes] u/galaddamodred [OP]: My brother always seemed very well-adjusted, but a few hours after I made this post he actually died going on a suicide charge in battle because he thought he was unimportant enough to risk and no one would care much if he died in the attempt. Which sucks because now the only sibling I've got left is my sister who hates me. [+273 votes] u/luckyfox: oh my god [+312 votes]

disco elysium and transmasculinity:

i don't want to be this kind of animal anymore

there is no such thing as an inherently masculine trait, only those which we have culturally prescribed to be masculine. muscular, tall, strong, stoic. self-destructive. repressive. angry. unhinged. violent. addictive.

Disco Elysium markets itself with the tagline “what kind of cop are you?”. to put it bluntly: you get to choose what man you want to be. the actual gameplay mechanic is the game keeps track of your dialogue choices and, among other RPG things, neatly divvies them up into 4 main Cop Categories: Sorry Cop, Apocalypse Cop, Superstar Cop, Boring Cop. after some time establishing your identity you can branch off into 3 other copotypes: honor cop, art cop, and hobocop. These are all exactly what you think they would be.

a supremacist stands tall, immovable, shirtless, tattooed, in the way of one of your objectives, and if you let him he will tell you all the ways your body betrays your degeneracy. all the indulgences you make, with drugs and alcohol and sex, are allegedly clear as day written across your reddened swollen face. you are not a man. you are pathetic. a pair of women reassure his divine masculinity even when he admits his impotence. there’s no denying it: that’s one man of a man right there.

your former detective partner is an eternally scowling pockmark faced asshole. he approaches every interaction with you with a nice solid baseline of aggression. if you choose to put your points into something called “espirit de corps”, you get small vignettes of his previous actions. in one of them, it’s joked that you two are near-marital in your relationship. in some of them, he worries about you. muttering under his breath, mostly to himself, not unkindly. but he certainly never shows that to you face to face. 

two old men play pétanque outside every day by the sea. they have done this for years. they have known each other since they were kids. one is a fascist, the other a democratic socialst. if you’re nosy, you can go to the watchman’s post and find a picture of him, his socialist buddy, and a young woman whose attentions they supposedly both vied for. if you decide to become a fascist, the game gives you something more. your abilities Pain Threshold, Composure, Endurance, Volition, Conceptualization, and Inland Empire take turns showing you tiny slices of a truth viciously stamped beneath the heel of his brilliant boot. a love for his dear hated socialist. and when he dies, that socialist tells you the same. but they never told each other. never even came close. because how could you?

harry dubois wakes up face down ass up covered in piss and vomit and full of foggy confusion after drinking himself into amnesia. he's tall, he's got giant arms, a proud beer gut, and he's self-destructed himself into literal oblivion. this pitiful bastard doesn't even remember his own name. the first person he encounters outside of the hotel room in which he fucked himself up beyond his limbic system’s reach tells him at some point during his bingeful weekend she heard him scream, "i dont want to be this kind of animal anymore". you don’t know why you said this. but after a while you have some pretty good guesses.

i could talk forever about the unique circumstances of growing up as a girl in modern western society. but i have nothing interesting to say that hasn't already been said much more eloquently. learning to hate my body, learning to be afraid, learning that you need to want to be consumed. the eternal unpacking of all the issues a patriarchal society burdens you with. it never ends. but i've at least reached a point where i've done my base legwork. i know the oppression i've fought. it is nameable. i have labeled each and every patriarchal burden like a so many papers in a filing cabinet. few are going in the shredder, but at least they're known. next to that filing cabinet, i have a big pile of loose papers slowly sliding off a desk with the word "masculinity" in neon lights flickering above them. i want to dive into those papers. but the thought of it fills me with such apprehension. i've always wanted masculinity. i've purposefully adopted affectations to make myself more stereotypically masculine. most are hilariously shallow, and not exactly innovative. i smoked camels for 8 years. i drink my coffee black. i picked up a nice little alcohol habit. i've shoved down more feelings than i would ever willingly admit in the hopes to appear unbothered. I’ve told myself to “man the fuck up” my fair share of times. none of it got rid of my hips or my tits or my anxiety or my painfully high pitched voice. i’ve quit smoking. i sometimes think i should start again for many reasons, but one is in the hope that my voice will drop. just one octave. at least. it’s silly, i know. believe me. i know.

when harry drags his sorry ass out of that hotel room, he isn't free of his past. he has shadows in his mind reminding him of the things he's forgotten. shadows that still influence his views of masculinity. there is no way to truly escape the bitter leaden paint stuck to the inside of your mind so violently applied by our beloved patriarchal society. there is a hilarious dialogue option where, if you so choose, you can proclaim that you would never let anyone androgynous touch your hair. because the “others” (unnamed) would laugh at you. here we have a man who cant remember his own name, but he is certain that he absolutely cannot under any circumstances have a non-manly haircut for fear of mockery and rejection by his peers. how many coats of that leadened paint must have adhered to his poor, poor limbic system that even when he’s forgotten the concept of money, he still knows about the boundaries of masculinity.

 as harry tries to be a good person (or a fascist or a doom prophet or a disco superstar) he cannot really shake the pieces of himself that make him him. and he meets another bastion of masculinity, kim kitsuragi immeasurably measured, willful, and kind (for a cop), he helps you rediscover the world around you as you try to rewrite your tabula rasa'd self. he is firm, but nice. he lets you make your choices and mistakes. and he only stops supporting you when you start fucking up like, literally everything, and indulging in racism. naturally, there is a lot of fanart of them kissing, and yearning. both are beacons of masculinity, different sides of the same coin. where harry is physically imposing, kim is slight. where kim is calm cool and collected, harry will break down crying after a brief conversation with his necktie. but both are undeniably masculine. i mean, they’re cops after all. what more masculine profession is there?

as kind as kim is to you in your lowest possible state, it can be easy to overlook the ways in which he is not kind. when you tell him you think you really, seriously, need to go to the hospital, seriously kim i can't even remember my name i think i could have brain damage, kim responds with the equivalent of "walk it off" by encouraging you to start working on the case and see if that makes you feel better instead. it is in this light that you recognize which affectations of his are conscious posturing. his fitted jacket and trousers, matching the uniforms worn by air brigades in a past war. his careful collection of tools he keeps in his beloved kineema. his vast knowledge and care for the car itself. looked at in a certain different light- you know the one- you could see these traits being the result of a very careful construction. he found pieces of overt masculinity and decided to subsume them as a defense. a bolstering, a reinforcement of chosen masculinity.

there are so many different flavors of masculinity that the game offers you to experience and explore yourself. you decide whether to value them. you can follow in mister phenology’s footsteps and try to build yourself into a supremacist ideal. maybe that will make you happy. you can also chase after a barely-coded homosexual man, who makes you stutter in most available dialogue options. even if that may make you happy, you don’t get to pursue it. you can think for 20 hours about the "homosexual underground", but you can't join it yourself. you can however join fascism. interesting how harry is more susceptible to fascism than homosexuality. interesting to prod and poke at his masculine limits.

“what kind of cop are you” is a loaded question. harry is rebuilding himself from the ground up as a man. and how funny is it to learn that is inextricable from his profession.

what do you find inextricable from your gender? what of those traits make you happy? what of those traits make you want to throw your fucking shoe through a god damn window and punch the bathroom mirror and scream and scream and scream and scream?

i want to emerge from a hotel room, at my lowest point, and have the power to rebuild myself from scratch. i want a cool man who i maybe want to kiss guide me with a gentle yet firm hand. i want to have large arms, and a proud beer gut, and a stupid beard, and i want to destroy a hotel room and drink myself into a beautifully tragic state. i want to have non-political body hair. i want to get stared at for my gaudy tie and green snakeskin shoes instead of my tits. i want become a different kind of animal.

Look at them just stealing the show with their entrance (yes this post is to ramble about the recent chapters, get ready for a unhinged ride on the "Found family trope" rollercoaster).

People are like "Why are the best healer in the world and the guy that's always compared to Kayden here???" and they're just chilling being relatable, especially Kartein.

Them gathering around Jiwoo, not even trying to hide that they care about him. Like I would have expected Pluton to at least take a little distance and maybe judge Kayden and Kartein for being so close to him but he's just "Yes, I must stay close to this child."

Kayden and Kartein are so parent coded while Pluton is the socially unaware uncle that's just so out of it while taking in the practical aspects. He would absolutely teach Jiwoo how to properly stretch while Kayden and Kartein tell him to stop being so nice to everyone.

"Look at my son! ...proud is not the word I'm looking for" moment. Of course they're all super proud of Jiwoo. They can't stand the fact that he doesn't take advantage of the situation and has these moral/honor standards, but without that he would have never charmed these guys let's be for real now.

THEY'RE SO FAMILY CODED PLEASE JUDGING OTHER FAMILIES LIKE THEY'RE NOT A BUNCH OF LUNATICS THEMSELVES

The way Kayden leans towards Kartein like they're gossiping while Pluton listens in and gives his input to the convo, please they're a bunch of mothers talking shit about the other families at school.

The way they criticise Ian's education is the most parental thing I've ever seen.

The whole chapter was just Kartein being the sassy mother that worries about other kids disrespecting his, Kayden being the unhinged father that gossips and asks "Did you win?" whenever his kid gets into a fight at school, and Pluton the judging uncle that criticises his brother's parenting but joins sides with him when there are other parents.

Tell me that's not their dynamic.

Pluton always compared to Kayden and their "rivalry" being actually one sided is just so adult siblings coded, then Pluton going to Jiwoo like "Hey I'll show you something cool your dad hasn't taught you" is just uncle behaviour.

Kartein and Kayden not approving of Pluton doing what he wants and then realising they did the exact same thing is such a parent thing.

One thing is "They're such parental figures to Jiwoo", one is when they literally act like his parents even around other people.

So, what are your favorite MLP ships? I don't know if you've already been asked this before, but meh

less about being asked, more about me posting them nonstop lmao;

#1 Sunlight - (Sunset Shimmer and Twilight Sparkle) Number one and two are interchangable due to my mood, because theyre both incredible, and easily fit on a "favorite ships of all time" list i could make for myself. Sunset and Twilight shipping is to me in general all about potential. And if im talking endgame, the show would have ended so, so much better, if there were two lesbians inheriting the night and day. These two are it, with flying colors. Going from rivals to friends to close friends to lovers that would do anything for eachother, to ruling the world in a golden age together, my goodness, this ship is like the chef's choice at a menu. I also may have written a large fanfic of how i would write an entire season of the show with Sunset on it, heheheheheh. Also worth stating, i concider Sunset x Scitwi To be on the same level, if not being the same ship, even if Scitwi is a diffrent character, if someone loves Twilight Sparkle, they would love her in all her versions. #2 Rarijack - (Rarity and Applejack) Did i say sunlight is the chef's choice at a menu? Rarijack is the whole fucking menu. What more can be said about the legend of how the most beautiful Unicorn and the strongest Earth Pony fell in love? The City girl x Country girl vibes are incredibly strong, the opposites attract is at it's PEAK, and both of these girls can easily concider themselves the luckiest women in the world for having the other. It was the first couple i shipped on the show when i watched passively, 'cause i instantly noticed their potential, and c'mon how couldn't anybody. They're the hydrogen bomb of mlp ships, and they could easily sustain an entire season on their back if it was about their love story, which is, painfully, not canon, like any of these ships. Also i'm literaly writing a fic that takes Shrek 1 and makes it about Rarijack and it's as dumbly amazing as it sounds #3 Startrix - (Starlight Glimmer and Trixie Lulamoon) Honestly this one is easy to ship because it's just endlessly funny. The biggest fail girl that almost destroyed the world falls for the only girl thats a bigger loser than her, and that is endlessly entertaining; specialy because compared to trixie, Starlight is the baddest bitch lmao, and they would hype eachother so much. (insert that post of loser ass gf being hyped up by other cool gf) And there's just an appeal to two unhinged women finding eachother and making eachother... better? worse? I think theyre both at their best when traveling together. #4 Flutterdash - (Fluttershy and Rainbow dash) Fun fact, i didn't ship this until i wrote "the return of midnight sparkle" i just had to write scenes with certain themes, and i realised it would be helpful to further the themes and plot and character development of the protagonist if Rainbow and Fluttershy were macking on eachother. And it grew on me! Daredevil girl and shy girl lift eachother up and improve eachother. Honorable mention: That one ship with with Cadance, Shining armor, and Chrysalis; because it is honestly funny as fuck; no matter how you spin it, be it cadance and chrysalis mack on eachother and shining tolerates it, or the Princess and the Queen have a silent rivalry as they try to be with their himbo, or even if the three of them gross together. it's always funny. (queue chrysalis with the "im not the stepdad im the dad that stepped up" shirt while playing with flurryheart)