Country Club AU where Steve plays tennis (he practices with a tennis ball launcher) and Billy works at the club.

Steve's so into what he's doing he doesn't notice the intense baby blues watching his every move.

But it's impossible not to notice Billy's staring when the two are buck naked in the showers. He's been a good, patient boy, waiting for Steve's cock this long.

And Steve's nothing if not generous.

landing in my heart: secret

han jisung

genre: angst 

word count: 2.6k

warnings: lost in north korea, violence, mentions of chopping a head off, military stuff, mentions of car accidents, weapons, mentions of ending life and disorders (at the end), grammer mistakes, if i missed anything, lmk :)

part two of landing in my heart

landing in my heart information

2001

“y/n, choose your future!”

from that day, you always made the right choices. looking in front of you, you saw items which predicted your future by grabbing an item. instead of an item, you grabbed your fathers hand.

till that day on, you successfully opened your own fashion store. cutting the ribbon for your grand opening.

now that you heard jisung telling you to take the right path, you went to the other way. the night when jisung pulled you and hid you in his chest, you looked up in shock.

“oh my. i cant believe we met again”

“i thought you left”

you start flirting with jisung to get your way with him. smiling while jisung stares at you. ‘should i just kill her’ jisung thinks.

the following morning, you wake up and see yourself in the mirror. face full of marks and cuts. grabbing a cup of water and pour it into the bucket, you clean your face. “its okay, you’ll get through this yoon y/n”

as youre telling yourself to calm down in the bathroom, jisung makes you breakfast. “i-i dont know what you guys do but we usually give the host the first bite” you said, giving jisung a spoonful of the food, he stares at you.

“what wrong?” you asked. jisung sighs and crosses his arms. “are you concerned of whats in the food? because its poisonous?” putting the spoon back onto the food, you gave you. “im sorry if i offended you. but please do understand why im acting like this. wouldnt it be ridiculous for me to be trusting someone at this point?”

“hm, i guess youre right” lifting you head, you smiled. “see! i was correct-” “but you made an emergency landing at the DMZ while flying an unpowered aircraft on a windy day. right as the electric wires were working, you crossed it and came to a military housing area. ill sound crazy to believe someone like you”

“dont tell me youre suspecting me, thinking im a - spy. in fact i believe people are looking for me considered im famous down there” you paused, “one everyone knows im here, the south korean government, military authorites, and the UN wont stay still” jisung nods his head in agreement. “then, nobody should know youre here. i wont tell them”

jisung stands up and gathers your plate. hearing a knock, you look at jisung as he goes and looks who is here.

looking outside the gate, he sees hyunjin outside. “ah, captain han. i didnt know you went home early so i looked everywhere for you. so i knew you were home when i saw smoke from the chimney” hyunjin says and goes inside jisungs house without permission.

“oh and good news. about that south korean girl-” “listen she’s” “shes dead!” hyunjin laughs. “i know youre shocked too because i am too! there was an accident on the mountain and reporters said there was a young woman there” jisung shakes his head, “no thats not it hyung-” “aye, if im wrong then you can chop off my head” jisung nods his head and leads hyunjin back to the gate “wait let me use the bathroom real quick”

as both of the boys went to the entry way of the house, hyunjin takes off his shoes and talks about you. as he takes his shoes off, you went to lean on the door frame. hyunjin turns around and gets scared of seeing to woman he was talking about.

“how do you chop someone’s head off? ive never done it before” you spoke. with hyunjin’s mind going everywhere, he manages to speak to jisung. “c-captain han, whats going on here?” after realization, you realized he was the one who tried to shoot you. “y-you. it was you! you shoot the bullet at me!”

settling down, jisung rubs his temples as you tried to explain hyunjin that youre not a spy. “do you have trouble understanding or something?” “captain, do you have a shovel i can borrow?” you explain everything that had happened when you ran away, hyunjin gets scared and sits next to jisung.

moments later, another knock comes from jisung’s gates. opening the gate, he sees seungmin, felix and jeongin with food and drinks. “captain han! did you hear the news? the one with the young lady-” “thats not true” jisung cuts off felix.

“you must be jeongin” you called out. jeongin turns around and sees you. “yes, and who are you?” crossing your arms and leaning on the door frame, “i heard you might face a dishonored discharge. that means youll lose the job that you really need” you told him with a scared hyunjin next to you. “i-i thought she died!” jeongin screams and turns to the other two men next to him.

“and ah! youre felix! so tell me, which kdramas did you watch before leaving the post?” you pointed your finger at him. “stairway to heaven” felix answers. “ah thats a pretty old one. its the one with jiwoo and sangwoo right? im close to them, they live a few houses away from me” “is that true?!” felix smiles as seungmin tells him to stop.

telling everybody to come inside to talk, you demand them to take you back where you first landed in north korea. “im afraid we cant do that” jisung answers. “captain han, just let her be. let her get fried in the fences and say ‘so this is how the fences feels like’ if she’ll ever learn” hyunjin laughs out. giving a death glare at him, he stops laughing and puts on a straight face.

“basically, we cant go back to the post because we finished our job for two months and cant return there for a few months” jisung continues. “but you have a choice; i take you to the state security department. they may let you go home. or you stay here but heres a few rules. one, dont talk to us. and two, dont leave the house until we get you back home” jisung finishes. “my dad does a boat-to-boat. where a small boat goes to the international oceans and meets up with the bigger boats to another country” felix tells you.

nodding your head and agreeing with the second choice, the boys goes and makes you food since you were begging them to give you meat. after the food is done, you all eat as jisung steps back. “we must return to our post after this” jisung speaks out. “what? so i have to be alone now?” you exclaimed. “yah, do you just expect captain han to just stay here with you?” hyunjin jokes. “if you need anything thats urgent, press 8 on the cell phone and ill answer it in the outerpost”

instead of calling him for emergencies, you only called him, asking silly stuff. asking wheres the body wash, shampoo, and conditioner and wheres the candles, he responds with the bar of soap. you then call him how to take a bath since theres no modern showers inside his house. “you need to fill up the bucket with hot water. then take the tarp and hang it up with the clothes pin above the bucket. make sure to tuck the tarp under the bucket so theres no airflow. youll have your shower after that”

doing what jisung told you, you were surprised on how they lived. finally finishing, you went in the bucket after taking your clothes off. “ah this feels nice”

jisung, who was still in the office, got another phone call. “what is it now- ah master sergeant, whats the matter?” jisung answers to the sergeant. “its about the tomb raiders. they were killed in an accident on the mountain” jisung quickly hangs up and goes to the security state department and tell cheolgang.

he shows his military id to enter the place before the other military men opens the gate for jisung. as he goes to the room that cheolgang is in, he tells him what happened. “yes, i know what happen. but what can we do” cheolgang asks. “i believe there needs to be an investigation. what car did they crash into? was it on accident or on purpose? if it was on purpose, who was behind this? and why accidents like this keeps happening. so im asking if i can look into it” jisung says. cheolgang nods his head “go ahead. you should go to the headquaters in pyongyang tomorrow morning and get more information” he answers. jisung gets up and leaves.

the senior coloniel, who was next to cheolgang the whole time, asks cheolgang whats going to happen now. “dont worry about it, we hired somebody since hes responsible for a billion won scheme”

china.

minseok and his bodyguard enters the hotel where theyre supposed to meet someone. after finding the person, they talk about how minseok should be safe in north korea after passing through the other countries without being caught by sehyeong. minseok signs the contact and goes to his new home in north korea with extra protection.

back in north korea in the village, the kids were playing outside as you were still hidden in jisungs place. the mothers came out and gather their kids since it was dark and late and was now time for dinner. however, upil didnt leave until his dad showed up.

as manbok calls his son’s name, upil goes and hugs him and enters their house with upil’s favorite donut.

meanwhile in jisung’s house, you finished your bath and the lights go out. “whats going on? havent i had enough suprises today?”

the whole village had a blackout and you were scared. making your way to the telephone, you called jisung. only to be declined. you were hearing noises and you felt like you were going to be caught soon. closing the blinds, the noises were getting clearer.

grabbing the nearest item to hit the intruder, you were stopped as you saw jisungs face. tears threatened to spilled as your emotions came down are you. “why are you here” you said, lowering the item. “you said you needed a candle” jisung grabs the candle from the bag and gives it to you. “you said you needed it when you took a bath and when you sleep” “thats just a candle. i need a scented one” more tears spilled and jisung takes the item out of your hand.

“im sorry, you probably feel frustrated right now. but i just cant believe what im going through right now” sobs left your mouth as jisung guilty.

ranting to jisung about your problems back in south korea, you couldnt help but spill more tears. feeling frustrated at yourself back then, you felt bad for jisung since you were just crying in front of him. jisung puts his finger on the flame of the candle that was on. “there, i cant see you anymore” jisung reassures you that everything will be okay soon. he gets up and grabs his hat. “where are you going?” “i need to get on a train in the morning to pyongyang” he answers

“i dont know when ill be back so i might not see you when you leave. but my comrades will help you get on the boat in a few days. heres some things i bought that you needed” jisung says and hands you a bag and leaves the house. you open the door before he could leave.

“excuse me, but what is your name? i want to remember it to return the favor later” “you dont have to, there was no favor in the beginning. so its better to not remember it. and as i said before, dont tell anyone about this when you go back” nodding your head, jisung leaves the place.

going back inside, you open the bag and its full of the stuff you asked for earlier. looking at every product, you realize its from south korea. everything that you needed was in the bag, including undergarments and medicine for your cut.

jisung arrives pyongyang. hes then stopped for an investigation. jisung is led to a torture room to be questioned about the robbers. myeongseok enters the room and sees jisung being yelled at throught the glass window. he barges into the room and kicks the person who was asking jisung questions and aggravating him. “what are you doing? this is the directors son” myeongseok yells at the person, who is shocked.

myeogseok apolgizes to jisung and leads him somewhere to let jisung tell him what he needs to know.

the person who was just yelled at calls cheolgang and tells him that jisung is the directors son of general politics and gets angry.

later the night, jisung and myeongseok are talking about how jisung was to investigate into the car accident recently. “do you perhaps think this accidents was like your brothers?” jisung thinks to what myeongseok ask, and realizes the accident could be like his brothers. the same truck that ran into his brothers car and the others that the trucks ran into.

after company five visited you, they came back to the military zone to get some rest. they happened to see cheolgang leaving the place and quickly straightens up and salutes him. “fifth company, where are you guys coming from?” cheolgang asks. “from fixing the pump in out captains house sir” hyunjin replies. “ hes in pyongyang so good job”

“yes sir. may i ask where youre heading sir” seungmin asks. “lately were have lots of runaways so im going to run random house inspections today” “tonight sir?” hyunjin asks. cheolgang nods and felix starts hiccuping. “whats wrong with him?” “nothing sir. we missed what was in front of us, therefore the runaways must be in the military base. i believe that is a wise plan sir” hyunjin responds quickly. cheolgang nods and tells them to hurry inside and get some sleep.

they quickly go inside and hyunjin calls jisung as seungmin makes sure nobody is coming inside the room theyre in. “captain han, theyre doing random house inspections tonight. but we told the south korean woman not to answer any phone calls. so theyres no way to tell her” hyunjin tells jisung. jisung then hangs up and asks myeongseok for a favor.

jisung quickly drives back to the village as cheolgang arrives in front of jisungs house since is was the next house on the list. seeing the lights on, he doesnt believe that jisung is back from pyongyang.

looking through jisungs stuff, you look into a book that seems familiar. opening the book, you see an application form. “i swear i saw this face before” you were disturbed by your thoughts when you heard knocking. “captain han jisung! were here for house inspecting!” putting everything away, you hid in jisungs kimchi cellar, which was underground. cheolgang unlocks the gate and finds jisung as he sees the cellar’s blanket off of the door.

opening the door, the investigators finds you and clucks their guns. as youre forced to get off of jisungs property, everyones asking you questions as your hands are up in defense and silent. “it doesnt matter. once shes at the state security department, these muted people will talk” cheolgang says.

as a bright light flashes through, everyone stops and looks at the car in front of them. jisung stops the car and gets out to walk towards you and cheolgang. cheolgang suddenly aims his gun at you as tears fell.

“what are you doing to my fiancee?”

“what did you just say?”

“i would appreciate if you put the gun away from my fiancee”

additional ending:

location: switzerland

“its invalidation in our institute regulations, im sorry” the woman tells you after your request. “but why? i heard i can end my life here sure i have no physical pain, but i feel extraordinary pain in my mind. depression, panic disorder, eating disorder, insomnia, what all do i have to name? ” you questioned.

“we always recommend the sight seeing of switzerland to our visitors. most of our visitors change their minds after sight seeing. i dont know why you want to end it, but im sure youll be one of them”

after doing what the woman had told you, you went to visit a place where you can paraglide. amazed at how amazing paragliding looked, a guy stopped right next to you, admiring the view with you.

🎵everything’s coming up ivar🎆🎇 what a morning of fortunate revelations for him! i know i must say this after like every chapter, but you have truly done such an exceptional job building up these characters and this relationship. there were so many neat little tie ins to other things i noticed in the story! and every other line, i was just struck by how well theyd come to know each other. i remember after the first time he broke a bone (and smth similar in ch36??), she thought something to the extent of “if i try to push him on this, ill just hurt him. if i don’t, then he’ll just accept this situation as immutable, so im at a loss.” but she absolutely could not miss in this chapter. after all this time together, she knew exactly what to say—and he finally felt like he could completely sincerely trust her! “Of course you wouldn’t leave, he knows you wouldn’t leave him” 😣🥺😭 he’s got a new certainty!! also cracked me up to read half the lines and think “you’re gonna give him a heart attack!!!” only to move to the ivar pov to find that he was in fact having a heart attack. i Love that for them💕 sub ivar is like inspired choice #17266 for this fic but damn!! does it go hard you do just an excellent job!

it’s been such a convincing and satisfying journey for them. theyre really doing it!! i feel like my child has learned to ride a bike. you have been cranking out bangers only since the hiatus so thank you very very much for another fantastic chapter!!!❤️(bit of a tangent but i briefly looked up some baseline historical symbolism for lavender bc i was so struck by freydis and the mint smell and i wanted to get ahead of the game and like the first meaning that comes up is silence lmao—somehow i don’t think that’s it so ill have to keep looking!)

OMFG ILY  ❤️

I’m so happy you liked the newest update! That morning was A Lot™ for Ivar lol, all positives but still, his mind tapped out halfway through Gǫfga and none of us can blame him, poor guy was a tad overwhelmed lol. And yeah, her not really knowing if she should push or not is a thing that happens a lot (that will happen a lot more in a certain AU lol) because there really is no way to navigate around that until there’s the established trust and vulnerability that they have by now.

I’m so glad the fact that he now holds on to the certainty of her promising to stay by his side was noticeable!

Omfg yeah, the inside of Ivar’s head anytime she started talking was probably just a loop of a very loud alarm going off lol

I’m so happy you like sub!Ivar, it is a blast to write him actually surrendering to his lover like that. I cannot see him any other way to be honest, especially with my priestess. She’s been thinking about making him hers for a long time: “Even after he has imprisoned you, it would be a lie if you said you didn’t wonder what it would take to have the Viking underneath you, or the different ways you could make his proud façade crumble."

Thank you so so much for your kind words, they mean so much!! I am so happy you have been liking this so far, and that you enjoyed the latest updates. Thank you so much, you wonderful person!

I answer your intrigue about Lavender under the cut by the way, if you’re interested. It is not as interesting as with Mint and Freydis I’m afraid, but if you were curious as to why Ivar lingers on it, and why specifically Lavender, under the cut is the (very rambly, but that’s expected of me by now lol) answer 😉

As for the lavender, I commend your resolve to get ahead of any plot twists, but surprisingly this isn’t one. Lavender is actually the scent she uses in her baths, and thus her skin smells slightly of lavender. In a deleted scene of one of Ivar’s PoV’s it goes into how he has started to relate this slight lavender scent with her so much that walking into their room already makes him feel like she’s there even if she isn’t; and in his newest PoV he just lingers on it because it’s just one more way she clouds his senses.

As for why lavender? Ah, that’s where my irrational need to research everything comes into play. Lavender is a flower that symbolizes Persephone first of all, and it was (according to some of the sources I handled) one of the flowers used in the temples in Ancient Greece, so for the Priestess it has a strong meaning regarding her faith (and her retracing Persephone’s myth in the Goddess’ role, but she doesn’t know that lol). Also, Lavender was fairly common, and it has a lot of medicinal uses, including relaxation and the such, but most importantly for this story, it is one of the many herbs used to heal burn wounds. Lavender was one of the flowers used on the Reader (and that once she was better she used on herself) after the Eleusis thing, and either consciously or not she uses it still, it is a source of comfort in a way.

Cause here’s a thing/headcanon of the Reader/Priestess that really means nothing but I always snuck into my work: she is a healer first and foremost (is the one thing across all AUs and all the places she has been that remains consistent, from the Roads to Greece to Kattegat and beyond, in Nostalgia, and Hope and Alatheia and all others), and her insistence on keeping plants close to her is mostly because she wants life to be around her in a land like Kattegat, yes, but it is also because she trusts/relies on the herbs and what she can do with them. Her own sword and shield, her own way of fighting, like Sieghild told her in the flashback of Ch 33.

At the beginning of her time in Kattegat, stretched to her marriage to Ivar even, she mostly just kept plants like Lavender, Poppy, Summer savory, Field scabious and the such, which are all used medicinally to treat burns and as antibiotics. She is more scarred by what the Byzantines did to her in ELeusis than she would like to admit, or that she ever would in her PoV, that’s why I like sneaking in comments by Ivar and Freydis in their PoVs about how she flinches when someone breathes too much life to a fire, or how when she feels unsafe (even when she is freezing her ass off, bc she is not used to Scandinavia’s cold) she sits far away from any fire. Keeping plants like this is her way of irrationaly wanting to keep herself safe if they ever do the same thing to her again, even if it is incredibly unlikely. Slowly, she starts to be able to let go of that, and really all that remains by now (~Ch 42) of those plants is the Lavender.

When she marries Ivar (and more importantly when she starts truly caring about him) she starts keeping plants like Comfrey, Chickweed, Buckeye, which are used for broken bones or for rheumatic/arthritic pain, or for pain general, like Willow or Elderberry. Freydis makes a point of it in “Until spring comes.”, of how she has been relentless on keeping both the common/accesible ones like Comfrey and Willow around, but has also secured plants from the East, like Ganglong (which was traditionally used for bone fractures). Again, the plants and her ability to heal is her own way of fighting, her own way of keeping the people she loves safe and protected, limited as it may be. Which, around Ch 31 she uses (in a different way) to try to keep the man she loves safe, which is by making the wreath of flowers and praying to her Gods.

And once she really starts settling into her life in Kattegat, even if she doesn’t realize it, she no longer keeps plants only for the use they may have, and brings things like that Marsh Violet (that as far as my limited reseach told me has no real medicinal uses). Her own way of making the world around her a little more hers is by putting plants around her and caring for them (she did this in the Roads a lot too), and with time the stubborn little shit accepts letting this world make her a little theirs too by caring for plants like that one.

You are on point that I use plants and symbols a lot, most of them you know about by know. Ivar/Hades and snakes, Melinöe/Freydis (especially once the revelations of Ch33-34 happen, which is when the Minthe parallel comes to an end and she embraces the role of Melinöe in the Priestess’ eyes now that the lies are discovered) and howling dogs, Hermes/Galla and hawks/falcons. I used Snowdrops a few times I think, towards the beginning, which was a little nod to Freyja’s myth and the Priestess’ threading the line of it, because I like the parallels between some of Freyja and Persephone/Hecate (which by some sources could sometimes be intertwined, or one and the same, much like Melinöe and Persephone).

Anyhow, sorry for the long-ass answer, I hope it doesn’t dissapoint. I really cannot put into words how happy it makes me that you’d care enough about this story to search the meaning of lavender, thank you so much for your support, and for the undeserved love you keep showering me and Nostalgia with! Thank you so much sweetheart!

Sending you my love!! ❤️

If you dont mind, may I request where reader finds out shes pregnant? And while Levi and her never anticipated that they were excited (somewhat terrified on Levi's part since he feels like he gonna fuck up) to have a baby. But then reader miscarriages and it completely devastates both of them and Levi's trying to be strong and comfort her but theyre both really hurt and crying, holding onto on another. Lots of angst basically if thate okay

A/N: I’m a sucker for angst

Warning - miscarriage

𝑬𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅

The last thing Y/N had been expecting to hear from her monthly physical was that she was pregnant. In fact she was so shocked that she started laughing hysterically. She had never talked to Levi about starting a family, Y/N figured she knew what the answer would be anyway. The world they lived in and the mission they’d sworn their lives to didn’t allow them the normal luxuries other people were free to enjoy. Y/N practiced what she was going to say in her head the entire walk back to their room. She had ended up taking a detour trying to buy as much time as possible to figure out how to tell Levi they were going to have a baby. Worry begins to gnaw at her conscience, what if he wanted to break up? Could she really raise a child by herself? Chewing her bottom lip nervously she raises a shaky hand to turn the knob, entering his office quietly. She isn’t sure whether to be relieved or disappointed that he isn’t there. Settling down on the couch she rests her chin in her palms. The more she thought about the tiny life growing inside her the more excitement started to bubble up. She didn’t see Levi until after dinner, the desire to tell him about their baby making her impatient. Y/N wanted to tell someone, trying to keep it to herself was proving harder than she had anticipated but she remained strong. Levi was the first person she wanted to know, the one person whose opinion mattered the most. Carrying in a tray with his favourite tea she sets it down on his desk, plopping herself into the chair across from him waiting for him to give her his undivided attention.

“I had my physical today” Her hands wring together unable to sit still. Levi takes note of her nervous demeanour, immediately setting him on edge.

“Is everything okay?” Her heart swoons at the way his features are washed with concern, she could just picture him caring for their child in the same manner.

“I’m not really sure how to tell you this so I’ll just spit it out.” He nods encouraging her to continue. “I’m pregnant.” She searches his face for any signs of regret or anger or even disappointment. Instead he just looked, elated and terrified at the same time.

“Are you sure?” He sounded almost…hopeful.

“Yeah they’re sure but I thought you didn’t want kids?” He beckons her over to his side of the desk pushing his chair out so she has room to sit on his lap. His hand slides under her shirt to caress her soft stomach.

“Well I never thought I would ever be in this position and I’m terrified I’m going to fuck up but if it’s you then I can’t wait.” Y/N throws her arms around him hiding her face in the crook of his neck as tears drip against his skin. Any nervousness she felt before quickly disappearing and replaced with pure bliss.

Levi doted on her every need for the next few weeks despite Y/N’s insistence that there wasn’t anything to start worrying about yet. Regardless, Levi made it his duty to make sure she was eating enough food, getting enough sunlight and sleeping enough. It gave her butterflies every time he showered her stomach with kisses every morning when he woke up and every night before she fell asleep. Everything was going so well Y/N was impatient for their baby to be born, wanting nothing more than shower them in love.

She knew something was wrong when she started having back pain, she barely had a bump and knew that she hadn’t done anything during training to cause this uncomfortable feeling. Y/N kept it to herself not wanting Levi to make a big deal out of nothing. During dinner her lower stomach had started to cramp uncomfortably and her hips felt strangely sore. She tried rationalizing that it was just her body adjusting to the pregnancy and focused on her dinner.

Levi was woken up to the sound of Y/N groaning in her sleep, her forehead covered in a sheen layer of sweat with her legs pulled up to her stomach. The sheets under her damp and dark, fear clutching his heart he shakes her awake.

“Baby wake up, we need to go see the doctor.” The urgency in his voice and the strange look of panic on his face clears the fogginess of sleep instantly. Looking down at the stained bed sheets she gapes at him in terror. Hysterical tears beginning to spill over as Levi scoops her up in his arms running down the hall to the infirmary. Her fists gripping the material of his shirt so tightly it almost tears. Bursting into the room he shouts for a doctor setting her down on the nearest bed. Nurses usher him out of the room as they prepare to examine Y/N who was now hyperventilating, her strangled breaths asking what was happening. Why was this happening?

Her entire body goes numb when the doctor confirms their worst fear, she had miscarried. Y/N immediately closed herself off, everything she had ever wanted had been ripped from her heartlessly. The days following their loss were agony, she barely left their bed. Erwin had temporarily relieved them of their duties, giving his deepest condolences.

“Leave me alone, Levi” Her voice is rough, most of her time spent either staring blankly at nothing or crying. She felt like a failure, her body wasn’t good enough to have a child. Levi deserved someone better, someone who was healthy enough to have his baby. Her dark thoughts making her withdraw from Levi. Ignoring her attempts to push him away he climbs into bed, drawing her into his embrace. Planting soft kisses on her head he holds her until she gives in, her tears soaking into his shirt.

“It’s okay Y/N, I love you.” His declaration making her sob harder, Levi made no attempts to hide his own tears that spilled down his face dripping onto his neck. They lay there for a long time not saying anything until finally succumbing to a bitter dreamless sleep.

Masterlist

soonie, doongie, dori, & john - lee minho

⇢ prompt “Why did you steal a fish? You don’t even take care of yourself let alone a fish.”—a prompt from @the-moon-dust-writings​ ⇢ pairing minho x female reader ⇢ word count 4.4k ⇢ genre fluff ⇢ warnings lots of cat interaction. if u don’t have a cat you may be confused. mega fluff. that’s it. ⇢ summary Sharing an apartment with Lee Minho has been an adventure since day one. Plus, you got a best friend and three fur children out of the deal. But when a heavy realization hits you the same morning Minho has an accident at the pet store, it seems as if it’s only a matter of time before John shoots Cupid’s arrow and paves the way for a happy ending.—friends to lovers!au ⇢ a/n bear with me on this one, it’s kind of slow in the beginning. this is the first i’ve written in ages. i feel like i’ve forgotten how to english. also i did as much research as i could find to try & figure out the genders of minnie’s cats hopefully theyre right jsfajkhkjf. also i watched a lot of vids of minho for this & it rlly made me realize how much i love him & how soft i am for him & it seems as if my bias list is unstable now

From her curled-up position in between your legs, Dori’s ears twitch up in attention at the sound of the front door swinging open and closed from across the apartment. She has grown a lot since Minho first brought her home, you notice when she finally lifts her tiny head to listen to the footsteps past your bedroom door, jade eyes blinking tiredly at you in post-nap dreariness. Excited, she pushes herself up to arch her back in a long stretch before she abandons the warmth of your bed to greet Minho. Pouting, you watch as Soonie ditches you as well, hopping off from his perch looking out the window to follow the younger kitten.

“Oh well,” you mutter to none other than Doongie who stays by your side, white mittened paws tucked snugly under her chest that rumbles with a purr when you reach over to scratch the soft fur behind her ear, “I still have you.” You can practically feel Minho’s jealousy radiating from behind the door when only two out of his three children go to see him— not that this is new.

It has been this way since you moved in together nearly two years ago. Due to increasing international interest for your university at the end of each year, not every incoming freshman was guaranteed a dorm room. It just so happened Minho and you were two unlucky victims of such a shortage. By chance, you had met at an open house only seven months prior and so, not even knowing whether he was frantically searching for an apartment like yourself, you reached out to him with an offer your parents helped scrap up.

Minho was uncertain at first. First, he was not prepared to start university living with a girl. It wasn’t that he did not like girls; he simply grew up expecting to meet his forever “bro” in his dorm room. In addition to this, he was an only child and imagined living with a female only child could end up causing him some great distress.

Secondly, while the pros outweighed the cons for the most part, he was more than disappointed that the apartment was in a more… domestic part of town. Yes, the rent was cheaper than the apartments closer to campus. Yes, he would be able to have a car now and yes, the apartment really was more than sustainable for two kids, but it was all these things and more because it was not an area where sleaze balls sunk their talons into desperate students looking for a place to live. And so, this basically meant that the two of you were close to the only students in the area.

And last but not least: there was only one bathroom. Enough said.

But what eventually won him over was the fact that the apartment was pet friendly, which meant he could bring Soonie and Doongie (and Dori, eventually) with him. It was for this reason he finally agreed to share the apartment with you before he lost the opportunity and you asked someone else.

It couldn’t be that bad, right? Afterall, you seemed nice enough at the open house and you did go out of your way to ask him in the first place to live with you. And he was right. In fact, it was not bad at all. You were more than nice, generally not concerned with specifics other than the agreement that Wednesday was grocery shopping day together, Friday was cleaning day, and that you washed your own dishes. Minho did not mind those three simple promises because he found getting to be your friend easy and your roommate his favorite part of his day.

What he did mind, however, was the fact that Doongie instantly took a liking to you. “This isn’t fair,” he complained only your third day together after searching for said feline and finding her cozied up with you on the sofa, “how can she betray me like this?”

His possessiveness humored you, to say the least. “What can I say? She just likes me better. You’ve bored her, Minnie.” He grimaced at the nickname and your bold statement. You were just bluffing—there’s no way Doongie would choose you over him after all these years, right?

Wrong. After freshman year flew by and the two of you agreed to stick together for a second year due to how dependent you had become on one another, he suddenly brought home Dori to ‘fill the void Doongie left in my heart,’ he exaggerated. “Wow, is Soonie not enough for you? You make him sound so unimportant. Maybe I’ll steal him too,” you had replied, grinning from your spot in bed when he narrowed his eyes at you.

“I thought you’d be mad I brought a kitten home,” Minho admitted from the doorway, ignoring what you said and holding said tabby against his chest with one arm. He’s so cute, you admired for hardly a second, reaching for your iced tea on your bed side table and shrugging to him, “You know I don’t care, you’re the one who pays the vet bills. Bring all the cats you want; the more, the merrier,” you said, taking a sip and blinking at him lethargically.

For a moment he was quiet, processing your words before, “If we get married it would be our vet bills.”

You nearly choked on a mouthful of tea. Married? You took a moment to collect yourself and your thoughts. “Minho, if your plan is to marry me, you’ve done a terrible job at getting that message across.”

“Damn, what can I do?” He asked, sulking.

“I don’t know,” you shrugged, grinning at him behind warm cheeks, “you can start by getting your ass over here so I can see this new kitty and discuss our wedding theme.”

And that’s just how things were; you, Minho, Soonie, Doongie, and Dori.

Or so you thought.

Past the hum of your ceiling fan and the purring coming from Doongie like an engine, for a minute or so you listen to Minho sing, “I want to see my little boy,” from Vine to presumably Soonie at least four times, followed by a loud thud, a high-pitched screech (not from a cat), a door slamming closed, and then the pipes moaning like a horror movie as the shower is turned on. Unfazed by the chain of events as this kind of chaos was something you have come to accept living with Minho, you shrug off all the noises you heard and opt instead to regretfully roll over until you meet the edge of the mattress.

Once you manage to tumble out of bed and stretch good enough to make your legs shake, Doongie lets out unamused meow now that her own personal space heater and pillow has moved.

It’s you. You’re the personal space heater pillow.

“Whaaaat,” you reply, grabbing a pair of cotton shorts from a drawer and glancing back at her. With ears drawn flat, Doongie follows your movements with a cold glare. “I’m sorry,” you coo, falling for her manipulation and bending back over the mattress to envelope her in a hug of sorts and cover her muzzle in kisses. When she starts struggling to get away from your grip, beginning to meow loudly and pushing your arm away with her paws, you pull away and scratch the base of her tail as she stands to stretch.

Shimmying the shorts up your legs with an unnecessary amount of effort exerted, you at last exit your room for the day, grabbing your phone from where it sat charging on the bed side table on the way. Padding barefoot down the brief hallway, you realize with a shiver when you reach the tiny dining room table how unreasonably freezing it is in the apartment. Minho must have not raised the thermostat this morning after lowering it to sleep.

Instead of fixing the problem, you reach for Minho’s orange university sweatshirt draped over one of the chairs and pull it over your head. At your feet, Doongie weaves between your legs, dragging the side of her face against your shins and she does not stop mewing until you bend down to gather her into your arms so that her front paws dangle over your shoulder. “So needy, you are,” you grumble, blowing her tail away when she threatens to swat your mouth and making way for the kitchen where coffee calls your name.

Minho must have made enough for the both of you as there is still another cup or two left in the pot, you realize with a smile, reaching up into the cabinet for a mug and pouring yourself a cup. Doongie leaps off your shoulder when you open the refrigerator for creamer, joining Soonie and Dori who sit poised like statues along the kitchen’s pony wall.

Stirring in cream and sugar, you wait until the color softens to a lighter shade of brown before unwrapping the flakey chocolate croissant Minho bought you yesterday and taking a seat at the table. Humming to yourself, you shift to cross your legs on the chair while taking slow sips of your coffee, heart beginning to thump faster in your chest.

And it’s not from the caffeine now making its way through your system.

This is too good. Life is too good, and you should not feel at such peace at twenty years old. You should not be having such a casual morning, drinking coffee Minho made for you, eating a croissant Minho bought you, wearing a sweatshirt Minho left hanging around, having a staring contest with the cats Minho brought into your life, listening to Minho sing in the shower one room over. Minho.

You slowly set your mug down with a newfound epiphany flashing like a billboard in your brain. Of course, you always knew Minho was the most special person in your life recently, your best friend really, and that you loved him. You probably would not have lived with him for this long if you didn’t. But since when were you in love with him?

You shake your head and take a hefty mouthful, hoping to wash away such troublesome thoughts. You’ll get over it. It’s just a crush. On the boy you live with. And spend all your time with.

“Oh boy, what are we gonna do now?” You ask the three felines who have abandoned studying you to stare down like hawks at the table, ears raised in curiosity. You follow their gaze, squinting in hope to better your vision when you see the fluttering tail of a fish as it swims within its tiny plastic cup. Blinking once, twice, and on the third you finally reach over and grab the container, bringing it closer to inspect and yep, that most certainly is a betta fish staring back at you.

Setting it atop the refrigerator where the cats can’t get to it, you stuff the rest of breakfast into your mouth and dump what’s left of your coffee into the sink before marching to the bathroom, swinging the door open without so much as a knock. He yelps from behind the shower curtain and you mentally thank God you did not barge in to find him butt naked in front of the mirror.

“Lee Minho, care to explain why there was a fish on the kitchen table?” You bark, crossing your arms and leaning against the sink for when he pops his head outside of the curtain.

“First of all, you could have knocked,” he starts, looking to the floor when you glare at him, “and I, um, I stole it.” You sigh in defeat, dragging your hands down your face when he disappears back into the shower. “Minho, why did you steal a fish? You don’t even take care of yourself let alone a fish.”

“That just isn’t true. I am fully capable of taking care of myself and my children. And I didn’t mean to steal it,” he retorts, turning off the water and you watch as he slips an arm out to slap around in search of his towel. “How the fuck do you accidentally steal something, Minho? And did you not think I would see it eventually?” You huff, exasperated.

“You see, I went to go pick up cat food and I dropped my phone where all the betta fish in cups are and when I went to pick it up the bag hit a cup and it fell and then the lid popped off and then there was water everywhere and the fish was just flopping around so I panicked and put it back in and then ran to get water from a fish tank and I thought I would get in trouble so I just ran out since no one saw me,” Minho rambles without taking a breather, whisking open the shower curtain and stepping out as he does so, towel snug around his waist and cheeks glowing pink from both embarrassment and the aftermath of a hot shower. You sigh for a third time, moving out of his way when he makes way for the cabinet and opting to sit on the toilet.

“Did you even get the cat food, then?”

“No, I just ran. With the fish.”

Pinching the bridge of your nose, you grumble, “You’re an idiot.”

“But I’m your idiot,” he grins, dragging a cotton round over his face with toner. You send him a warning glare. “Well,” you click your tongue, hypnotized as he combs out his hair and by how unfairly ethereal he looks post-shower, “we should probably go to a different pet store to get cat food. And we need to get a nice fish tank and food.”

He raises a brow, surprised with how nonchalant you are, and moves to stand in front of where you sit so he can tilt your face up with his index finger tucked under your chin. “Are you mad?” He asks.

It’s not fair, really, the way he asks such a question after making you feel so vulnerable under his touch and proximity, heart racing a mile a minute. Really, you should be mad. But when it comes to Minho, you cannot find it in yourself to be. This is just how things are with him.

“No, I’m not mad,” you smile reassuringly, leaning into his touch and you both seem to forget for a moment that you are nothing more than friends when his hand moves to cup your cheek, thumb ever so slightly brushing over your warm skin as he beams down at you, “just amazed as usual at how stupid you are.”

“Hey!” He steps back at this, running his fingers through his damp hair and shaking out the strands. “I’m not stupid.”

“Yeah, and Doongie likes you more than me.”

“It sucks we have a fish now. I was thinking about getting a guinea pig or something soon. Maybe even a rabbit,” you announce, leaning over with Minho to peer into the guinea pig enclosure. His giggle reverberates throughout the entire store and you cannot help but grin in return, even though he has scared all the little critters back into their huts. With nothing left to coo over, you grab his hand and tug him toward the fish care.

“Where are we going to keep… him? What’s his name? Do we even know if it’s a him?” Your question turns into three, stopping in an aisle full of different tanks and small décor pieces to go inside.

“I’m pretty sure it’s a dude. I think they only sell males in that section anyway. I’ll check if he has a dick when we get home though,” when you look over, he’s smirking as if he just said the funniest thing ever and you have to hold back your laughter. “Yeah, you do that, Minho. I’m sure you’ll be real successful.”

“We can probably just put him on the desk. I’ll move all my shit and he can just go next to my laptop,” he continues, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his chin on your shoulder as you look over the different tank options. It makes it hard to concentrate with him so close. “I mean— yeah. Yeah. That works,” you stutter, swallowing past the sudden lump in your throat and quickly scanning over the tanks one more time, “we should get this one. Is that okay?” You move closer to said tank, hoping he would let go when you reach out to grab the box but when he doesn’t, your heart seems to beat so erratically in your chest that you think it might fly out. Why, all of a sudden, are there butterflies—no, lions—in your chest when he is around you when there weren’t before? When did this happen?

“Minho. We can cuddle at home. I just want to get what we need and leave,” you whine, trying to pry his fingers apart from where they are linked above your hips, leaving your skin tingling even under his sweatshirt. He huffs, detaching himself from your frame. “Fine. But we’re gonna get home and you’re gonna say ‘Wait, we have to take care of the fish’ first and by the time we’re done, you’ll fall asleep before we even have a movie on,” Minho grumbles, taking the box you shove into his hands and trailing after you.

You gasp, pointing an accusing fake plant in his direction, “No, you fat head. You’re always the first to fall asleep. You just like to blame it on me.” He continues to grumble under his breath while you grab a bag of pebbles, fish food, and water conditioner, finally able to breathe now that he isn’t clinging to you.

“Come on, stinky. I don’t want you to start crying on me,” you grin, wishing you could hold his hand but alas, you did not think of grabbing a basket on your way in. His face brightens up with a smile anyway, and he follows you the rest of the way right at your side.

“So, you never gave him a name. What’s it gonna be?” You ask, nearly unhinging your jaw to take a bite of the Big Mac Minho begged you to order after making fun of you the whole ride home for never having one. You stopped at McDonald’s just to appease him. You look to the fish, surprised yourself over how pleasant his quiet presence is, especially with his emerald and sapphire scales that reflect and glow iridescent in the light.

“Mm,” he hums, chewing on his own hamburger and watching the fish in thought, “I think… I think John.”

You blink at him now, setting your food down. “John?”

“John.”

“Why… why John? Why not Nemo or something?” You ask, eyeing him curiously and gnawing on the straw to your soda.

“Dunno. He just looks like a John,” Minho explains, giggling cutely and looking back up to you with stars in his eyes. It feels like liquid adrenaline is being injected right into your bloodstream when you lock eyes, and looking into Minho’s cat-like eyes feels like looking into the sun for too long—it almost burns, instead, there is an entire zoo in your chest. But it feels good. You almost wish he did not stop giggling so you could giggle with him. Instead, you have found yourself lost in him, every ounce of breath stolen from your lungs.

“Are… are you going to actually take a sip of that?” He giggles again, glancing to the soda straw dug awkwardly into your bottom lip.

Your cheeks flush hot pink, stomach sinking heavily and you cannot find your voice. Clearing your throat, you look away as you begin to hyperventilate and stand up abruptly to grab John’s fish tank from the table and walk across the room toward the desk.

“___? You alright?” He asks, worry lacing his tone and you wince when you hear him push his chair in. “Y-Yeah. I’m fine,” you laugh breathlessly, placing John down and adjusting the tank so it sits catty-cornered next to Minho’s laptop.

“No, you’re not.” He is quick, you’ll give him that. In the blink of an eye he is at your side, grabbing you by the hips and spinning you to face him. Here we go again, you hiss at yourself to snap out of it, clenching your fists at your sides simply due to how overwhelmed you feel. How incapable you are to forget how you have been feeling and brush it under the rug.

“Why’d you get all googly eyes on me over there?” Minho questions, grinning like a madman when he brings his hands up to cup your face and squish your cheeks together. “And why are your cheeks all hot?” You gasp, defensive, and press your hands over his, “M’not.”

He drops his voice to a whisper, leaning in closer so his breath fans over your face, “Is that how I make you feel, ___?”

You blink at him, all the color draining from your face and you must look ridiculous right now, jutting your lips out in a pout as he continues pressing your cheeks together. And what can you say now that he has caught you? Lie? “No,” is all you quip, staring at him, practically begging for mercy. No more questions. Just a ‘goodnight’ and off to your room for the night.

“Hmm,” he hums, pondering for a moment, before grinning once more, “I have an idea.” Oh no, you do not like the sound of that. Minho? Having ideas? Bad. This thought progressively resonates louder in your mind the closer he gets, this is bad, this is bad, this is really bad. It just so happens that a whimper on behalf of your sanity escapes you the same moment his grip on your face eases and he moves his hands to rest below your ears, thumbs caressing your cheeks before his lips brush yours.

His lips are warm and taste… salty? The fries, you realize, before his tongue pressing to the seam of your lips obliterates every thought. The worries leading up to this moment evaporate like a summer shower on a hot car and, of course, you part your lips and grant him access. Drunk on endorphins, your brain seems to light itself on fire and warmth spreads throughout your entire body, your only desire to touch him, to stand up higher and to hold his cheek the way he holds yours.

His fingers run down your spine, pulling you closer until there is no space left between you and you can feel the beating of his heart against your chest. A kiss like this is a beginning, a promise of so much more. “___,” he whispers slowly when he pulls away, prolonging each letter as if to savor them. You smile, heart fluttering at his voice as you lean forward and bury your face into his chest, overwhelmed with relief and desire and worry and giddiness.

“___,” Minho repeats, running his hands up and down over your arms, calming you down before reaching your shoulders and pulling you back, “how did that make you feel?”

“You— what?” Is all you manage, searching his face for a trace of mirth, and yet you find none. In fact, he himself seems relieved, the corners of his mouth quirked up and his eyes bright and dark all at once like the midnight sky. He grins, laughing a little and stroking the baby hairs around your face with his finger. “I like when you wear my stuff,” he says, tugging at the collar of his sweatshirt you still wear.

“Um, I— thanks?” You laugh nervously, heartbeat beginning to skyrocket once more when he reaches for your arms and maneuvers them to hug around his waist. You hum, confused, but content nonetheless and link your hands together. He instantly presses closer, tipping your chin up, “I know you always say I flirt with everyone, but I don’t know how you haven’t realized by now I only want to flirt with you. It’s been you since Doongie chose you. I can’t even get you out of my head, imagine how hard it is living with you, not able to kiss you and do all the cute shit I know we would love.”

He what now? You blink up at him, more than bewildered, “Wait, are you trying t—”

“Yes,” he interjects, not even giving you a chance to finish, “whatever you’re thinking, yes. I’m confessing, or whatever. So let’s cut to the point. Do you want to be my girlfriend?”

Your brain stutters for a moment and every part of you goes on pause while your thoughts catch up. Girlfriend? Well, of fucking course you want to be his girlfriend, but how have you been misreading all of him for so long? “God, I’m an idiot, aren’t I?” You mutter instead, slapping the palm of your hand to your forehead and his giggles ring throughout the room.

“How many languages do I have to get through for that to translate into a ‘yes?’” Minho cackles, prying your hand away to return it around his waist. When you look up at him, you feel as if you may cry, so instead you opt to laugh with him in order to dodge the waterworks. “Yes, of course that means yes. It’s always been a yes, stupid.”

“Hey, you’re the stupid one. Seriously, have you seen us today? We’re so coupley already, literally nothing is changing,” Minho chuckles, walking you backward until you comfortably fall back on the sofa together, “except now,” he pauses, settling himself above you and bringing his face up to yours once more, “I can kiss you wheneeever I want.”

And he does just that; peppering your face, your lips and cheeks and nose with kisses until he has made you a giggling mess, writhing beneath him until he finally stops, sharing a mingled breath with you. “Is it too early to say the ‘L’ word?” Minho whispers, tracing your upper lip with his thumb. You smile, kissing the pad of his finger before, “No. I already know I love you, Minnie. I’m more than in love with you.”

His smile is one of happiness growing, much as a spring flower opens. “Heh. I like this. I love you too,” he answers, finally returning to kiss you in a way that is slow and soft and comforting in ways words cannot describe. And then he pulls back with a gasp.

“I forgot the cat food.”

this is so random but could you please please please write one where yoongi just involuntarily,,, pukes on joon?? maybe theyre sharing a bed for whatever reason and yoongi is queasy or maybe theyre crammed in the backseat of the car together and yoongi cant really lean anywhere else except for over their laps?? it can be short i don't mind i just really want to read this and you're my favorite writer. thank you so much i hope you're doing well and you're taking care of yourself

A/N: YES OMFG! Omg you are so sweet. I read this prompt and had to write it cus i really love it. If you are still waiting on a request, it will get done lmao. I promise. Enjoy anon! And thank you sm ❤︎❤︎❤︎

TW///emeto, mentions of anxiety

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Bang P.D. has not been too happy with the last few tracks that Yoongi and Namjoon have recorded.

Something about how it just wasn’t… them. How the music didn’t come from their souls, their expepriences, their lives. The music they were making wasn’t true. Built and made through computer applications that have no true meaning. So here they were, Yoongi and Namjoon, sitting on top of Namjoon’s bed while the other boys were out, working and editing track after track, song after song. Writing and writing until the sun lit the horizon.

Yoongi’s laptop was burning into the skin of his thighs, its heat making him all too uncomfortable. His stomach was already churning with anxiety, not being able to meet anyone’s expectations. It was unnerving as it was frustrating, and the dinner that Namjoon had made wasn’t sitting too well, all thanks to the ever present worry and fret.

Namjoon squints at the screen of his laptop, pushing his glasses higher onto the bridge of his nose as he clicks away at the keyboard. Yoongi intakes a deep breath, a desperate attempt to quell the nausea in his swirling belly. He starts to rub his aching tummy, biting the flesh of his bottom lip as the screen of his laptop blurs in the midst of his vision.

Namjoon looks up. “Hey hyung, you good?”

Yoongi swallows thickly, his throat on fire. “Yeah, just, sleepy.” The eldest rapper says as he removes his headphones. He feels almost motion sick, the endless onslaught of his troubling thoughts making the queasiness within him growing and growing.

Namjoon just hums, still clicking and clacking. Yoongi stifles a belch through the cloth that covers his knees, burying his face into the crook of his arms as he pullls his legs in. It’s quiet for a moment, with the exception of Namjoon’s keyboard, before the younger ruffles the oldest rapper’s hair.

“Why are you hiding kitten?” Namjoon teases. Yoongi wants to fight him but, he won’t. Not not. Not when his stomach is acting up. Not when his anxiety is running amok.

Even though they’ve already debuted, can P.D. make them disband earlier than their contract has called for? What if these songs aren’t good enough? What if P.D. gets tired of them? What if he cancels all of their performances and interviews?

What if in a flash, everything they’ve ever worked for, turns to dust?

Yoongi feels a wet splash of dinner at the very base of his throat before his body constricts. He needs a bathroom, now.

“Hyung? What was that sound? Hyung.”

Namjoon pulls at Yoongi’s arms lightly, but unfortunately, it’s just enough for Yoongi’s resolve to come tumbling down. With a painful squelch, a colorful stream of bile spills from Yoongi’s lips, plummeting into Namjoon’s lap, as well as the bedsheets before plopping to the floorboards.

“Hyung.”

Namjoon quickly ignores the grotesque warmth in his lap in order to grab at Yoongi’s fringe, a hand on his cheek as he guides the eldest rapper to face the floor.

“Let it out baby, it’s okay.”

Yoongi whimpers, a few tears leaking from his eyes as he gives a silent but harsh gag, one that has another stream of puke pouring to the floor, draping along the bedsheets as it does so. It hurts, everything does. Yoongi’s insides feel like they’re burning but the calm hand on his back helps to soothe some of his anxiousness, as well as his pain.

“Baby, why didn’t tell me you were feeling sick? Was it the food? I feel fine I don’t know how—"

“No... the food was fine, surprisingly.” Namjoon scoffs as Yoongi sticks his tongue out, annoyed with the disgusting and rancid taste in his mouth. Even when he’s feeling ill, the oldest rapper in the group still has the best disses.

Yoongi is left, coughing and gagging wetly but helplessly. Namjoon gives the older’s bicep a gentle squeeze. “I’m sorry I... this whole thing just... I feel so fucking worthless. What if Bang hates what we makes? What if he gives up on us? What if—"

“Hey, hey.”

Namjoon cups Yoongi’s red cheek, the skin there a bit swollen and far too warm to be normal. “You need to stop this hyung. Bang didn’t just pick us out of nowhere. He saw something in us. He saw potential in us. He believes in us. Maybe we’ve been in a writing funk lately, but who cares? We’ve been so caught up in the throw of things that we forgot what it meant to truly make music. He may have been disappointed but he will never give up on us. And more importantly, you can’t give up on yourself.”

Yoongi would never admit it, but yeah he’s crying, and he’s covered in puke. They both are. He feels pretty pathetic right now but, there’s a tiny sliver of hope, one that sparkles in his heart. A hope so strong that, he feels a little bit better, and the nausea has slowly drained itself from his body, along with the vomit.

“Thanks Joon...”

Namjoon caresses the apple of Yoongi’s cheek with the padding of his thumb. He smiles.

“Of course. Now, maybe we should shower first, and then get back to work.”

Yeah, Yoongi still wants to fight Namjoon.

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A/N: it was short i know lol. don’t kill meh. more requests to come! ❤︎

Call Me, Maybe? 📞

This is part two of the sex line fic Hotline Bling and I hope you all enjoy!!

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here’s my number, so call me maybe

Peter’s had the song stuck in his head for days, humming it under his breath in class, as he patrols, singing off key and loud in the shower...it’s silly, but he can’t stop.

It doesn’t help that he’s made it the ringtone for Tony, and when he’s not in class, it blares every time the older man calls or texts.

Which is a lot.

Because they sext and text and call each other...all. The. Time.

He swerves and dodges a blast from a robot seemingly intent on homicide and hisses when one of its lasers slices through his suit and into his ribs.

He should be getting ready to meet Tony, but no, some maniacal asshole had to go and ruin his date. He’s already sent Tony a text that he’s not going to make it—last minute paper to finish!—but he’s hoping that if he can just—

The robot tangles in the webs he shoots and then blasts it with an EMP, grinning in delight when it collapses to the pavement below.

He webs it down more securely until SHIELD arrives and then swings away, back to the apartment. It’s only when he’s in the shower that the wound on his side makes itself known again and he hisses as blood streams down the drain. His fingers shake as he wraps a bandage around his torso after the shower, wincing at the ache in his side.

He can’t go meet Tony like this...

Sighing, he pulls on soft sweatpants and a T-shirt, toweling off his hair as he heads for his desk.

He does actually have a paper to work on...even if he’d much rather be somewhere else...with someone else.

Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here’s my number, so call me maybe

He grins when he sees his phone light up with a new text from Tony.

Tony: hey baby, I know you gotta paper to write, just wanted to say I miss that pretty face

He melts.

Snaps a pic of him, post shower, pink cheeked and shirt slipping off one shoulder and sends it.

He doesn’t have to wait long.

Tony: oh baby...ur so pretty...wish I was there to mess you up, get you all dirty

Peter: me too...I’ll call you when I’m done?

Tony: yes plz baby 😘😘😘

Peter grins and sets the phone aside, determined to focus and get this paper done.

Then he can play.

——————————

When he’d first met Tony at the coffee shop two weeks ago he’d kinda expected to be taken somewhere private and fucked senseless. Instead, Tony had bought them coffee and guided him to a corner table and they had talked...for hours.

He’d found out the older man is a mechanic and former race car driver, with a penchant for sex line work on the side. He’d explained that he likes the work; he’s always enjoyed making his partners cum and being a sort of blank canvas for other’s needs is something he finds enjoyable.

Clad in a flannel button down with a Black Sabbath T-shirt underneath, jeans that clung to his thighs, and combat boots, he was...entirely unexpected.

They talked mechanics and engineering, biochemistry and history, social justice and morality and before Peter had realized it, his stomach was demanding food. When he tried to apologize, Tony just laughed and guided him out to his car—a 75 Aston Martin Vantage, cherry red with gold accents—and took him to dinner.

He finds out that Tony’s 45, single, divorced with no kids, and co-owner of Stark Industries with his ex wife, Pepper Potts. Peter can barely believe he’s sitting with a man named in the top 100 wealthiest people in the world eating burgers from some hole in the wall diner, but yea, it’s real.

When he dropped him off after that first date he asked if he could kiss him and then proceeded to do so until Peter was hard and aching, clinging to the older man and gasping his name, whispering a plea that Tony had struggled to refuse. He sent Peter inside and called him minutes after he got home, listened to him jerk off and beg for Tony, cuming alongside him just a few short minutes later.

They’ve seen each other nearly every day since then, talked just about every night, texted constantly, and still, Tony hasn’t fucked him yet. This weekend though, he’s going to make it happen. Aunt May is going to Chicago for a conference and he’s assured her he’ll be fine, nudged her out the door and then waited ten minutes to text Tony.

Peter: home alone this weekend, come over?

He bites his lip, pacing as he waits for a response and then jolts when his phone starts playing that familiar ring tone.

Tony: have a few more meetings at SI 8 ok?

Peter: yes!

Tony: see you later sweetheart 😘

Peter sighs, it’s noon, which means he has to wait all day for Tony. It’s an in service day so he’s home alone, with nothing to do. A grin creeps over his face and he runs to his room, shedding clothing until he’s in his boxers.

Screw homework, he’s going to tease Tony till he comes over early and fucks him.

He plays with his nipples until they’re sore and achy, chest flushed pink with desire and hair messy from writhing on his bed. He snaps a pic and sends it—missing you—he captions it.

He doesn’t have to wait long.

Tony: baby...Jesus...u look so good

Peter shoves a hand into his boxers and takes another pic so Tony can see. Wish you were here he sends along with it.

Tony: Christ kid...trying to focus on this budget mtg and that’s not helping

Peter grins and records a small video of his hand stroking his cock inside his boxers, loops it into a gif and sends it.

Tony: fuck...baby boy, ur making daddy hard. Gonna get in trouble if u can’t behave

Peter records another short video and allows himself to gasp and moan, need you daddy he whispers, grinning as he sends it.

There’s a long few minutes of nothing and then—oh...Tony’s sent him a video of him, in the bathroom presumably, stroking his cock and murmuring.

Look what you did to daddy baby, look how hard you made me...daddy can’t even get through a meeting without his baby needing him, huh? Gotta leave work early and come take care of you?

Tony groans as he cums, and Peter moans with him, spilling over his own hand, grinning as Tony huffs and murmurs—be good baby, I’ll be there soon.

——————

Soon, it turns out is three more hours. Which is still much earlier than he’d originally said he’d be there, but still, it feels like an eternity to Peter. He’s actually done his chores; laundry, cleaned his bathroom, completed his bio homework, and he’s thinking of going out for a patrol when there’s a knock at the front door.

He tugs on a T-shirt and hurries out, beaming when he sees it’s Tony through the peephole. He manages to get out a surprised gasp at the sight of him in a suit before the older man pushes him inside and kicks the door shut. Tony’s on him all at once, hands cupping his ass as he lifts him, mouth hungry on his as he presses Peter against the wall, devouring him.

Peter whines as Tony’s mouth trails over his throat, marking it deeply before he fists a hand in Peter’s hair and pulls, tilting his head so he can kiss all along his collarbones and lick at the soft space in the hollow of his throat.

Tony rolls his hips into Peter’s so he can feel the hard line of his cock as he growls in his ear.

“Can’t even get through a few hours alone, huh baby? You that desperate? Hmm?”

Peter’s breath hitches and he nods, gasping when Tony’s fingers tighten in his hair to hold him still.

“Gonna have to teach you how to wait baby. Gotta learn patience.”

Tony backs away from the wall and carries Peter to his room, lays him down and strips him bare, and then just sits back, looking at him. Peter makes a soft noise, needy and pitchy, slides a hand down to wrap around his cock, only for Tony to bat it away and then capture the other, pinning them above his head in one easy move.

“No touching baby. That’s for daddy,” Tony tells him, smiling dark and dangerously. Peter whines but nods, arches his hips up as though he thinks it’ll get Tony’s attention to his cock, but the older man just backs away, keeps his hips high so Peter can’t make contact.

“Keep your hands there baby,” Tony instructs before sitting back, his weight on Peter’s thighs so he can’t move. Peter watches as he strips off his jacket and rolls up his sleeves so the bronzed skin of his forearms is exposed. He’s so densely muscular, years of working on cars honing his body into a solid weight that feels perfect on top of Peter.

Tony grabs the lube Peter had out earlier and slicks his palm before wrapping his hand around Peter’s cock, smirking when he gasps and tries to arch into it. He strokes him slow and steady, eyes dark and hungry as Peter moans and writhes, gasping Tony’s name as he gets closer, heat building in his stomach.

I’m gonna... he manages to gasp out...and Tony’s hand is gone. Peter sobs at the loss of sensation, whining as his orgasm fades away, tossing his head on the pillow unhappily.

When Tony resumes stroking him he moans and shudders, but it’s only a few minutes later that Tony removes his hand again. “I told you baby, you gotta learn to wait,” Tony croons, hand rubbing Peter’s thigh soothingly as he keens and writhes.

Peter’s not sure how long it goes on for like that—hours, days? All he knows is Tony’s hand on him and the ache in him growing each time it isn’t allowed to break free. He’s sobbing for each breath, tears wetting his lashes as he begs and begs, every nerve in his body like a live wire.

“Want you...in me,” he manages to gasp, begging please please please, and it seems like Tony softens for moment, considering his plea. He nods slowly and grabs Peter’s hips, rolls him into his stomach and then pulls him to his knees, gently pushes his head back down when he tries to lift it.

“Okay baby,” Tony murmurs, “just hold on.”

Peter expects his fingers, lube maybe, but he doesn’t expect—Tony’s tongue, hot and wet over his hole, licking fervently into him. He cries out shrilly, gasping and clutching at the sheets as Tony devours him; licking and sucking at his rim until it feels puffy and loose, tongue thrusting in and moving inside him.

It’s joined by a finger and then another, thick and calloused, firm inside him, stretching as Tony continues to attack his rim. Peter keens when Tony nips at him, the sensation nearly overwhelming as a third finger joins the other two.

He can feel Tony searching, and when his fingers find it, Peter lets out a strangled scream and thrusts back, eyes rolling back as Tony fucks into him. He’s loose and wet and it’s loud, the sound of Tony’s fingers inside him—sloppy in a way that should be disgusting but makes his gut burn with pleasure.

He can feel it rising within him, hot and desperate and he tries, but he can’t form words, just strangled moans of Tony and daddy as he drools info the mattress and then everything goes white; soundless, sightless, senseless.

As sound and sensation creep back in around the edges he’s aware of how hard he’s cum, and the fact that he’s still hard. Tony’s fingers are still in him, and the older man is murming softly.

“Look at you sweetheart, look at the mess you made. That pretty little cock is still hard, huh? Well, you don’t get to cum again till daddy does,” he warns. Peter can hear a belt being undone and a zipper sliding down and then Tony’s fingers slip out of him and he moans at the loss, rocking back to chase them.

Tony laughs softly and turns him around, pulls him into his lap where he’s still dressed, but his cock is out, hard and red and throbbing. He guides Peter up and holds his hips as he pulls him down, eyes hooded and dark as they watch him.

Peter sobs at the sensation; Tony’s cock is thick and long, and it’s, it’s breaking him apart as he sinks down onto it, breath hitching as the head slips past his rim, a sobbing moan sliding from his throat as Tony pushes into him slowly.

It’s too much, too thick, pressing into his soft insides, and it hurts, but not real pain, pain like when he makes himself cum too many times in a row or pokes a bruise—heavy, throbbing sensation that makes him ache for more.

Tears blur his vision as Tony fills him, hard and heavy in his gut, the head of his cock pushing into his prostate like a punch to the gut. He shudders and curls inward, tucks himself into Tony’s chest panting and whining as Tony pushes the rest of the way into him.

He’s so full...it feels like he could split apart at the seams from how Tony’s cock is seated inside him, pressing into him, the weight of it taking his breath away. He’s shivering and breathing unsteadily, and when Tony’s hand makes slow circles over his back and his lips press into his hair, he whines and nuzzles into him further.

“You okay baby? We don’t have to keep going,” Tony murmurs, lips against his ear, voice warm with concern.

Peter shakes his head and sniffles, “S’really full,” he slurs, “s’alot.”

Tony nods and kisses his temple, “I know baby, just breathe, mmkay?”

Peter manages a weak nod and turns his chin so his nose is in the crook of Tony’s neck and his scent floods his nose; warm and spicy with undertones of grease and metal. Tony keeps making slow circles over his back and eventually he realizes he’s rocking his hips, making slow circles of his own on Tony’s cock.

“You ready baby? You gonna ride daddy’s cock?” Tony asks, voice a low hum in his ear.

Peter nods and wraps his arms around Tony’s shoulders as he sits straighter, a little bleary eyed as he stares into Tony’s eyes. The older man smiles and lifts a hand to cup his cheek, a tender expression on his face as Peter gains his rhythm.

“You’re so beautiful baby, all pink and flushed and fucked out from daddy cock. Love those little noises you make,” he murmurs, thumb pressing into Peter’s lower lip and then into his mouth as the boy moans and rolls his hips faster.

Peter is dazed and a little light headed, need swelling within him once more as he rides Tony, gasping and moaning around the fingers in his mouth. His ass burns, stretched open and throbbing at the weight of Tony’s cock thrusting into him, the heat of it filling him till he’s like a ripe fruit, swollen and ready to burst.

He sobs a little as he thrusts faster onto Tony, arching his back as he finds that spot within himself, pleasure like white lightning up his spine every time Tony’s cock drags over it. He’s not even coherent as he lifts himself and slams back down, cries loud and wrecked, chest heaving with every breath.

P-pleaseeeee...daddy! Uhn Uhn Uhn

Tony’s grip tightens on him as he watches his boy, flushed and crying, cock bouncing as he rides him, loud desperate moans filling the small apartment.

He wishes he had the foresight to record this, so he could watch it over and over again when they’re apart—next time, he promises himself. Pleasure burns in his gut as Peter bounces on his cock, tears on his cheeks as he begs to cum, cock drooling heavily on his stomach.

He’s close himself now, and decides to take mercy on his sweet boy. Wrapping his hand around his cock he strokes, twisting at the head and thumbing at the sensitive tip, groaning as Peter wails and jerks, sounds strangling as he bounces harder, faster.

Peter can’t tell where pain ends and pleasure begins; he’s too stretched out and Tony’s touch on his cock hurts, but he needs it, needs to cum, and the thrust of his cock inside him is hard against the bruised walls of his body, but it’s good, so so good and he can’t, he can’t—

Tony sucks a mark to his neck, “Cum for me baby,” he gasps, pressing his nail into the tip of Peter’s cock just as he slams down on Tony’s length. A wail rips from his boy’s throat and then his cum is splattering over his stomach and Tony’s hand and on his suit and he’s shuddering and following after him, spilling hot inside Peter with a groan of his name.

Peter sobs, rocking down on Tony as his cum fills him, hot against his tender insides, slipping out around his puffy, raw rim and he cries, shuddering through each spurt of his own cock into Tony’s hand until he’s got nothing left to give and he’s limp in Tony’s arms.

The older man hushes him as he cries, holds him tight and presses kisses to his face and throat and hair, crooning praise. “So good baby, you were so good. I’m so proud of you.”

Tony gently guides him back against his pillows, pulls out slowly and hushes Peter’s whine at the loss. Peter buries his face in Tony’s shoulder and breathes unsteadily as the older man runs his hands over him, shudders when his thick calloused fingers slide into his hole where he’s wet and open.

“God baby, look at you,” Tony rasps out, voice low and gravelly. “You’re a mess sweetheart. All open and wet with daddy’s cum.”

Peter whines and pushes his face against Tony’s throat, embarrassed but pleased.

“C’mon baby, look” Tony encourages and he finally pulls away, leans up and peers down, flushes when he sees the way his thighs are coated in sticky white, his and Tony’s cum staining his skin.

He collapses back and throws an arm over his eyes, entirely exhausted and wrung out. A dull ache throbs inside him where Tony was, and he can feel his hole trying to tighten, but he’s still loose and dripping cum and he shivers, enjoying the slick sensation of it.

Tony kisses his cheek and pushes his arm off his eyes, gaze worried and soft. “Are you okay Peter? Anything hurt?”

Peter laughs softly and slings his arm around Tony’s neck, draws him down for a kiss that’s uncoordinated and sweet. “I’m ok, promise,” he breathes against Tony’s lips. The older man studies him with a hint of suspicion and then nods, smiling softly.

“Mmkay sweetheart. We’re gonna shower and then you’re gonna eat and watch a movie with me.”

Peter stares at him for a long moment, throat working to produce the words he wants desperately to ask.

“You’re staying?”

Tony’s gaze softens and he nods, leans in for a kiss, “Baby, of course I’m staying—you’re never getting rid of me now,” he promises with a wry little smirk Peter can feel against his mouth.

He grins and pulls him closer, “Good. I don’t want you going anywhere...except inside me.”

Tony laughs and drops his head to Peter’s shoulder, body shaking with laughter and Peter grins; he’s so glad he called that line and found Tony.

Found this.

Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here’s my number, so call me maybe

———————

@sluttystarker @starkerchemistryy @pantastic-peach @thebadthingshappen @ciel-mio @hpspazz @starker-4ever @w1nters-stark @foof-a-loof @confused-trash-kitten @panicdotexe @stqrker @honey-honey-darling @mariketa12 @itsmeryshipper @dramione90 @starker-flame @pretzelpoetry @seriouslystarker @starkerthanreality @ikneelbeforemygod @professional-fangirl75 @virgilismypoorshadowling @godlovesstarker @sapphicfreak @veronicashipsit @the-dark-obsidian-princess @ikneelbeforemygod @laughing-oreo @sensei-sans-sugoi @ruelukas22 @tom-starker @yourlittlemelody

mafia!jeonghan “YOON” #11

↻ masterlist — intro￤s.coups￤yoon￤hong￤wen￤hoshi￤jeon￤woozi￤dk￤kim￤xu￤boo￤chwe￤lee

traitor

member of Venor Unit

his role is more of a spy, however jeonghan likes the term ‘traitor’ more than anything

there are many rumours about him

only a handful have been picked to be debunked as true or false

for years he’s still been rumoured whether or not hes a member of seventeen

surprise surprise, he is

and the story of how he was recruited was one he’d never forget

because who would forget his missing nineteen-year old childhood friend climbing up to the top of his penthouse, at 1:27 in the morning, and suddenly break and walk into your bedroom like it’s no big deal?

in other words, he wasn’t pleased to see his dearest seungcheol

his friend was talking about all sorts of nonsense the moment he startled awake: japan, gangs, tattoos,, bad haircuts,,, poisoned ice cream??

this wasnt the seungcheol he remembered

so with mixed feelings, jeonghan told seungcheol to crash on his bed while jeonghan would take the couch and asking seungcheol to take a shower because he looked like he came back from a fight with a shark

when morning came seungcheol was trying to explain jeonghan about the wonderful complicated world of mafia business

but jeonghan had none of it — it sounded unreal

on top of that he was more fussed over seungcheol leaving for two years and not telling his own friend about it

with all this anger building inside him, mainly due to the stress of trying to get his head around this whole... thing, he told seungcheol to leave and go back home

seungcheol gave a look at him, a hard look, before he sighed and stormed out of the place

jeonghan didnt miss the small ‘no one ever stops to listen to someone like me’ under seungcheol’s breath

and never in their friendship they brought light upon their many differences, so it kinda tugged on jeonghan’s heartstrings

it saddened him knowing he didn’t give the welcome his friend wanted but at the time he thought he was in the right

then for the next two weeks, seungcheol was desperately trying to get jeonghan to join his ‘mafia’

(mafia in asteriks, because jeonghan wasn’t having any of his bullshit)

through messages, messy letters, he even received a collection post-it notes stuck around his penthouse without traces of who did this even though he fully knew well who it was 

and that night jeonghan was paranoid that seungcheol would randomly break in again

then the desperation for help stopped for the next month

although jeonghan did enjoy the attention from his best friend and wanted to continue this ‘fun’ game, he began to grow concerned

his best friend disappeared without a trace. again.

the cope was harder to deal with this time, because the insignificant thought about seungcheol truly being a mafia boss was becoming the host of his nightmares

you best believed the utter shock on his face when he saw seungcheol sat beside his door around midnight

hood up, dirty head to toe and one nasty cut on his lip and cheek

jeonghan was supposed to go to a party, but that priority was ignored straight away

he takes seungcheol in, aiding the cuts before doing anything else

as jeonghan would expect from the man, seven year old seungcheol would be screaming ugly noises with snot running down along his tears

but this other seungcheol didn’t flinch at the pressure of the alcohol touching his skin, and looked in every direction to avoid jeonghan

that — thankfully — hadn’t changed

seungcheol always payed attention to his surroundings when he doesnt want to be in a situation. it happened a lot with his father

so jeonghan asks why he looks like shit

and all the anxieties rush to his brain as the thought of his lash of anger to seungcheol caused the latter to end up like this

questions like when did he last eat?, where did he stay?, did i do this?

but seungcheol started explaining himself

something about these high schoolers ganging up on a sixteen year old in their school because of his looks, seungcheol stood up for this said ‘sixteen year old’ and found the four-against-one fight fair play until they brought out knives and seungcheol was like youve got to be kidding me

and suddenly, one thing led to another and the sixteen year old lit a tree on fire???? and he lifted a stray branch, took out a lighter, then lit it before storming to the high schoolers with a maniac-like look on his face

and the kid was then gone as he chased the high schoolers away

seungcheol had never been more confused

but he had to get out as there was still the,,, burning tree there,,,,,,

and when he finished his story, he paused, falling silent again and sort of bitterly saying ‘sorry, half of the things i say sound unbelievable now’

and jeonghan is a bit offended but he wasn’t going to push seungcheol away yet again

so jeonghan tells him that he believes him and at first seungcheol kept arguing that he’s bluffing for his sake

surprised, jeonghan reassures him again and again to get it through seungcheol’s head that he’s going to join him because he’s going through a hard time, anyone can see that

remaining silent, seungcheol nods before he manages out a thanks

they apologise and forgive each other, and later that night seungcheol tells everything — and i mean everything — about his family and the mafia

it was a heavy night for seungcheol

which brings us to today

since jeonghan was born into a rich family, it made seungcheol’s job way more easier than it was as jeonghan had higher class connections with others while his friend kept lowkey

he can have news alerted to him quickly like updates on parties, social events, scandals, some juicy affairs here and there, all that corrupt high-society crap

and he gets the odd word about some mafias in korea, making it his duty to report all of it back to seungcheol

with seungcheol’s command, he does whatever he instructs him to do, which is to spy on any updates of the situation

hence why he’s always out at fancy social-events

its truly a bore though. he’d rather sleep in

you may think he’s just acting naive most of the time — but he’s listening to every word and every moment he can sink in all around him

the highlight of the night is when everyone gets drunk, which is the perfect time to hear their dark secrets and use his sweet-talk

effortlessly finds a way to manipulate his way to invite himself and seventeen, who’d he’d call associates, to any banquet whenever he senses dirty work will commence

his pretty-boy looks usually do the trick ‘seventeen’s pretty boy’, the group calls him

makes the time to take care of the member’s schedules and invitations to these places, even going to the extent to make replica invitations

creates a plan of how the members enter so that they wouldn’t be seen together and raise eyebrows

particularly during these events, other suspicious men try to keep a close eye on jeonghan due to the rumours of his relation to the seventeen mafia

yet they’re wasting their time because he’s never in one place and socialises with many people

often when he strays on his own, he explores the area and wanders from room after room to find anything else valuable

normally reports to wonwoo what he finds through an earpiece

‘i found a diary’

‘youre going to open it arent you’

‘risqué, she keeps a taser and a ton of money in her lingerie set’

‘dont take the money’

‘wasnt going to’

‘jeonghan drop the roll of money right now’

‘... fine’

‘okay’

‘i took the taser instead!’

did i mention that he needs to ‘borrow’ a belonging as his souvenir for the places he visits

and because of junhui, he has semi-mastered the skill to hide all evidence

also pretty much hates it when he’s rushed, needs to take his tiem with everything (excluding when they’re in grave danger then that’s different)

mouth runs a lot so when he really needs information to be spilt, he exposes other lowkey scandals to get the information he needs

this is where he gets his traitor title from

if he’s framed as a traitor, he turns the tables around and either puts the blame on someone else or on the person calling him a traitor

he’s grown up in this corrupt class and knows all the dirty ins and outs of it

when he feels like he’s being interrogated to spill information, he takes control of the conversation and does subtle things like asking for things usually pouting when doing so or complimenting on one thing before discussing something completely off topic

he can never expose seventeen and will never expose them even if he’s dying 

another off-topic fact, he calls people babe a lot

mainly because it makes people feel a certain way, but its jeonghan’s self-acclaimed magic word

that word does things

is also a part of A Team, but due to the fact jeonghan is always busy, they dont work together as often as they used to

looking at soonyoung, wonwoo and jeonghan, you wouldn’t think of them to be that close but they’ve had history

out of all of seventeen, he’s the weakest in terms of weaponry since he’s basically just a informant to seventeen

therefore his choice of weapon are usually used by the closest thing to him

prefers glass as his choice of weapon if he had to choose, so because of this minghao frequently gives him smashed wine bottles for jeonghan’s use

a bit of a brat

but seventeen never mentions it

loves seeing people beg in front of him, especially when theyre desperate

this might be because he likes attention on him

teasing and poking fun at them gives him the greatest joy, it leaves him so satisfied but also wanting more

normally after difficult jobs done by the whole group, when Perficio Unit are clearing up the last of the evidence and killing the last of their suffering enemies, jeonghan skips in to take a wonder around too

Perficio Unit let him because its jeonghan

blood is soaked everywhere, many men are on the floor, some dead, possibly not, and their fancy suits all ruined while the four males finishing the job play jazz music on blast as they take care of the remains

just another job for seventeen

and jeonghan inspects each face, making sure the fear is their eyes while theyre slowly dying from blood loss. if they arent, then jeonghan pulls a gun out of his pocket and points it at them, getting the reaction he wants

(the gun was full of blanks anyway, what’s there to be scared about??)

decides to steal a wristwatch from one of the men and gets told off by the unit because they now have to get rid of jeonghan’s dirty fingerprints for stealing the accessory

loves it even more when Perficio Unit are in the middle of an interrogation (on most occasions they lead the questioning) back in their hideout and pops down to see how their ever-so suffering victim is hanging in there

generally summoned down if 1. wonwoo is busy or 2. they need the victim to speak a bit more

jeonghan doesn’t play once he comes down — but its inevitable that he’ll make sure that he gets the satisfaction that he wants from the person held captive

will stay until theyre sweating and crying in a mix of blood and tears and they are begging in front of his feet while tied up. he wont stop the torture unless the person confesses truthfully to what Perficio Unit ask and feel numb around their whole body that it hurts

uses the taser he stole in addition to let the pain sink in even more, also decorated the taser to have stickers of a halo and wings to look like an angel

when they get the answer they want, it’s a job well done for jeonghan

and when the victim thinks its all over, jeonghan sweetly grins one last time to them, turning foot because, really, he cannot do anything to the poor soul

he shrugs and walks, searching in his back pocket for a gun a filled one this time, twirling it around his fingers before handing it to one of the unit members

without skipping a beat, he smiles, whispering ‘enjoy’ and leaving them to do their job

needs the members as much as the members needs him

a perfect balance

“Somebody said it means imperfection and danger”

Observers - 48

Pairing: Sherlock Holmes x Reader

A/N: Annnnddd Sherly ruins the moment unintentionally... because he's Sherly.

The bed seemed terribly empty when Sherlock woke up and you were missing, for a while by the coolness of the bedding next to him. He rolled out of it to find all his clothes except for his shirt neatly folded on the bedside table and pulled them on before wandering out to the living room. He couldn’t help but grin when he saw you in front of your easel fully dressed in the clothes from the night before, your hair pulled back, and a fat brush in hand. He watched you work on your new painting, sitting down in your chair since you didn’t seem aware of the fact that he was awake. It was the same canvas from the night before but you had incorporated both his and your handprints from his experiment into it, making it more abstract than it had been originally. From the amount of work you’d done at this level of concentration, you had to have been up at least a few hours if not longer, meaning his experiment was a success. You reached for a tube of paint absentmindedly, having used all that you’d set out of that color, and sighed when you found it empty. You scrunched up your face as you turned with the intent to see if you had another tube stashed away somewhere and startled when you saw Sherlock in your chair, offering him a small nervous smile, “I’m sorry, Sherlock, I didn’t notice you were up… about your shirt… I don’t think I’ll be able to get the paint out. I’ll replace it, but you should probably go put on another before John gets home.” He could tell something was off but not what, so he simply stated, “You’re painting again.” You didn’t even bother to scold him for pointing out the obvious, turning to look at your painting with a tiny smile, “Yes. I just woke up and felt like doing so… That hasn’t happened in a while.”

Sherlock got the smuggest of smug looks on his face, “My experiment was a success. The minds of average people are so easily distracted by the physical.” You froze in your examination of your painting, an unsettling chill running through you, “What?” Overly proud of himself and cocky as all hell, he missed the slight hint of unease in your voice, “I hypothesized that reassociating the act of painting with something of a positive nature that overloaded the senses would override the negative effects of your past experiences. From your success this morning, the intense physical contact of an affirming nature overruled the issues plaguing you before- in effect resetting your simplistic mind to allow you to paint again. I suppose there are benefits to having a normal brain.” “So this was all part of your experiment?” you queried, your voice dangerously quiet. “Of course.”   Your face fell for a moment before you composed yourself and then announced, “You should go. John will be back from Amy’s soon.”

It was more evident that something was wrong now given the demanding edge to your voice but, as usual, that was as far as he got- if you didn’t want him to know your thoughts then he wouldn’t know them. It bothered him that he could only ascertain that you were upset but not why and since it obviously wasn’t over being able to paint again, as that was a good thing, he decided it must be about your friend. Of course, he was wrong but what can you do? He got up to leave because you were right- John would be home soon- and he still didn’t do the whole comforting thing, especially not when you wanted him out. You moved back to your painting, distracting yourself by working on one of the more detailed corners as you mumbled, “Don’t forget your violin.” Once he'd gone, you stopped, your jaw clenching in thought, and decided to try and clear your head by taking a shower to get rid of the paint on your skin reminding you of the night before. When you’d woken up that morning you weren’t sure how to act, you felt guilty about his ruined shirt, and then you began to question the whole thing. You’d distracted yourself by painting since that was what had woken you up in the first place but when he’d got up and said what he said- all the doubts came rushing back. You scolded yourself as the water ran down your skin, you knew he was just curious and that it wouldn’t be anything more. He’d been using you to figure out another aspect of human behavior, it was your fault for getting caught up in it since you’d know that from the start. You could hardly be mad at him for suddenly catching more feelings than either of your intended. You hadn’t even wanted a relationship… when had that changed? When did you start wanting more? You considered it for a moment, it wasn’t as though he didn’t care… he had helped you with your painting even if the how hadn’t been exactly what you’d expected. But then again, it may have been just so that he didn’t have to go through the tedious task of getting you out of work every time he wanted something from you. Maybe John had been right- you weren’t an experiment and letting him treat you as such was messing you up. Clean and dressed, you looked over your apartment, entirely conflicted, and debated what you should do next. You could lie on the floor and think but that didn’t sound appealing at all- your thoughts were too jumbled. You could let the need to be destructive that was creeping into your chest take over but that was hardly productive or helpful- not to mention you’d have to clean up later. There was only one other option and out of the three it seemed the best- you could paint and lose yourself in it... might as well put the results of Sherlock’s ‘experiment’ to good use. You cranked up some music on your stereo system to a ‘don’t disturb me’ level, a painting playlist of random unrelated songs that you liked, set up a new palette after washing your brushes and getting new water, and then set aside the painting you’d been working on in favor of a blank white canvas. Best not to think about how that one was made, you reasoned as you mixed a starting color. You let yourself get lost in the action, spreading bold strokes of reds and yellows over the surface as you let out all the emotions you’d been holding inside for so long. John broke into a wide grin when he came home and heard your odd choice in music, knowing it meant you were painting again as he climbed the stairs to his flat. Sherlock was spread out on the couch as usual, deep in thought, and John rolled his eyes as he went into the kitchen. Your music shut off just before noon, when your alarm went off the remind you that you had to go to work, and John came down to see how you were doing just as you were locking the door to your flat, “How’s the painting going, Squeak?” You sighed, “Good I suppose. Certainly better then it has been.” He stopped you when you went to leave, pushing the hair escaping your bun behind your ear, “What’s the matter, (F/n)? That’s a good thing, isn’t it? You should be happy.” You forced a small grin, “I am, Johnny. I’ve just got a lot on my mind is all.” “Like what?” You chuckled, removing yourself from his grasp, “Like work. I’ve gotta go.” He frowned as you left, you should have been ecstatic about being able to paint again...what was so pressing in your mind that it had stolen the wind from your sails? Climbing the stairs again, he went to see if Sherlock knew anything, reaching for the half-full mug of coffee next to him to get his attention. Sherlock’s eyes snapped open to glare at him for trying to touch his mug, effectively halting John's advance, “What?” “Do you have any idea what’s got (F/n) looking so troubled?” “Not in the slightest.” John huffed, unconvinced but unwilling to press, and plopped down in his chair as Sherlock went back to thinking. He’d enjoyed the night before, snippets of it kept replaying in his mind, and he’d never slept better but, for some reason, he couldn’t shake what had happened when he’d woken up. Social conventions and his study of human behavior on the subject told him that the thoughtless masses determined the morning after to be a complex moment. He didn’t understand why. It seemed to him that it could go one of two ways: your partner could slip away before it was light and never call or they could remain and continue the relationship. He’d stayed. Simple. So why had you been so nervous? He supposed it had something to do with your past as you were displaying signs of distress over something as unimportant as the state of his shirt but then you’d also told him to leave- a complete turn around from the night before when you suggested he shower with you. He’d done everything right and yet something was wrong. He was missing something… it had to be some odd facet of human behavior that he hadn’t considered. The only question was which one…

Tags <3:

@team-free-sherlock @multifandom-ramblings @madshelily @severusminerva @yes-but-theyre-my-dorks @smitemewiththysherlock @not-fandom-addicted @unknownwonder @deducingdevil @aviien @mrsfrankensteinsworld​ @lolamurphy @bakerstreethound @musical-doll-x @protectteamfreewill @delightful-pirate @lilcutekittykat @broke-and-overwhelmed @adri1ii @turtle-at-the-disco @fanfictionsilove @chasedbyhowlingwolves @thorkyrie-rights

MTH - Rowdy Bros (part 2)

Continuing from part 1, I'm not going to do every interaction in every chapter, but I'm going to analyze interactions in some key scenes.

* He knows how to use it/Lonesome when you go

In chapter 5, the scene with the team of school shooters happens. We get a lot of new information regarding the Boys' priorities, general lives, and interactions. Some of the info isnt surprising, since we know they work for an evil corporation, but it does give more explicit insight into their experiences. The Boys are completely unconcerned with the hostage situation - Brick is just annoyed, Butch is excited cuz there's a surprise with guns and even impatiently asks if the gunmen will shoot Brick or what, and Boomer's reaction is very nonchalant and relaxed.

Boomer acts like they're people he's just met (tho not new friends). Hes familiar, laid back, and just talks to his brothers like he normally would, as if the gunmen aren't of any significance at all. When one of them tells him to get on the ground, he literally just pouts back like a little kid and says no. Brick literally only decides to help cuz Blossom so desperately needs him to. From the exchanges with the gunmen and each other, we see more clearly what the Boys have likely done. Boomer can tell from a glance what type of gun the guy near him is carrying, all 3 of them know what the human brain looks like outside of the body (with disturbingly casual responses to the idea of it), and a bit later Brick instantly field strips one of the guns. They're familiar with identifying and handling advanced weaponry, and are clearly desensitized to extreme and traumatic levels of violence at 17 years old. But the most important thing that we get from this scene, I believe, is the dynamic that the Boys have.

Brick knows that due to their heroic duties, the Girls will be vigilant for their opportunity to strike, that they automatically will prioritize taking down the shooters to save the hostages, and that theyre perceptive enough to follow Blossom's lead in a split second. He know that his brothers don't have that same motivation, and is concerned that they won't get the message. But all he has to do is say, "Boys", and they snap to attention, Boomer prompting him for directions. All he says is, "help" - hardly an order - but they immediately understand and are ready to jump into action as soon as they get the signal. Brick can say what he wants about their lack of dilligence and obedience, but Boomer and Butch are on it when it comes down to testy situations. Butch still ends up collecting a bunch of guns and shooting various gunmen, and he's not as efficient as Brick would like because of his manic enjoyment of violent/dangerous situations, but he is ready to throw down for Brick at the drop of a single word. Putting a pin in this as well.

* beach episode! - we’ll still have the summer after all

Pretty early on in this chapter, Butch’s raging jealousy makes its first appearance (upon finding Brick and Blossom interacting alone on the beach). Because he works through his emotions with physical activity, he starts the (series of) iconic volleyball games. After the game between Blossom and Buttercup ends, Boomer and Butch try to get Brick to play a game with them. In the struggle between Brick trying to escape and his brothers trying to drag him to the net, he slips out of his shirt and all of the girls present flip their shit. As expected at this point, Butch, but also more surprisingly Boomer, becomes jealous, as well as the rest of the guys present. When Butch realizes that even Buttercup finds Brick attractive, he goes as far to say, "you're not allowed to find my brother hot!" After Brick declares hes going swimming, some of the guys say “girls suck”, to which Butch bitterly replies, "no, Brick sucks." He holds a ton of animosity and resentment towards Brick, certainly more than Boomer generally expresses for him. Yet, soon after, when the fighter aircraft attacks, Butch is the first to join Brick and pull up by his side when he yells for the others to pull back. After he orders Butch and Boomer to keep the aircraft flying at the same altitude and lead it away and then back towards him, Boomer is the one who asks what he's doing, Butch says nothing. After Brick rips out the aircraft's embedded computer, Blossom begins to examine it. He asks if she has any use for it, and as soon as she says no, he says "Butch, fire", and Butch immediately destroys it in her hand. He responds as quickly as if Brick had pushed a button to fire a laser. It's automatic, and he knew exactly what Brick wanted him to do, with no further explanation. It's also interesting to me that Brick didn't order Boomer to do it. While it may have been coincidence, I also want to put a pin in this thought.

After the Boys go home, and Brick finds out that Darius took over and they have to stay another year, he tells his brothers. And this time it's not Butch who sticks around, but Boomer. After Butch has already left, he helps Brick get blankets and a pillow for the couch, tries to cheer him up. He wants to go, but he knows Brick's emotional state is fucked up and he seems to actually care about him in that. After Brick tells him to leave, when he closes the front door, Boomer can't hold his smile in anymore cuz he's finally free to go back and see Bubbles. I think this is the first time when we see Boomer concerned about Brick, in terms of his emotional well-being. I would say his behavior still has an air of obligation about it, but it tells us that he cares about Brick and is loyal to him, in a way that is otherwise rarely shown.

* bonus chapter: Imperfect boys with their perfect lives

This bonus chapter is short, but it does reveal some things about our Boys. The first thing we find out is that the other field agents at JS genuinely like the Boys. They refuse to let Penny hire movers, insisting that they help. Later, they gather around and laugh as Butch chugs a gallon of coffee. Another detail of note, is that before they attend Townsville High, the Boys seem to have a slightly more amicable, normal (on the surface) sibling dynamic. Brick is still a grumpy pissbaby, complaining about how Darius wants them out, and he threatens to strangle them after they almost cause the Girls to discover them in the movie store. But he lets the Boys do what they want within reason. Boomer tries to lightly cheer him up, and even Butch seems to try to improve his mood, saying that once Brick is in charge of JS he can wipe Townsville off the map. In other scenes in other chapters, the Boys still joke and pick on each other like siblings, but I think that perhaps due to the toll Townsville takes on Brick’s mood and stress levels, along with Boomer and Butch’s growing relationships with the Girls, their dynamic is more strained. At JS, things were generally going according to Brick’s plan, and we’ve seen how an improved mood can change Brick’s entire demeanor and behavior towards them - going so far as to shorten Butch’s punishment by a week. In Townsville, I imagine he’s in a chronic bad mood, even for Brick standards.

* hey there Mr blue, we’re so pleased to be with you

The scene I want to talk about in chapter 7, is when Brick sacrifices Bubbles to the black blob that Him deployed. Again, we see Butch’s automatic loyalty to Brick. Buttercup is choking Brick, when Butch whacks her away. 

When Blossom rebukes him for protecting Brick, Butch repeats that she’s not his leader, that she shouldnt even think about giving him orders (and we’ve seen how immediately responsive he can be to orders that Brick gives). Even when Buttercup, his best friend, tells him to move he is resolute, taking a fighting stance. We know that he’s reluctant for things to escalate, watching Buttercup carefully, as he tells Brick to explain quickly. But his resolve never visibly wavers. Meanwhile, Boomer doesn’t move an inch to protect Brick. He’s simply in shock, over what happened. 

When Brick comes up to him, Boomer does something that we haven’t (and that likely Brick hasn’t) seen him do before. He directly questions Brick’s actions. In the scene with the aircraft, he asks Brick what he’s planning to do. But it’s because he wants to know what the plan is, not because he’s accusing Brick of making a bad or questionable decision. In this scene, he is showing outward disapproval of what Brick thought was the best decision. And not only that, he (a literal employee of Evil) is questioning how Brick (a verified supervillain and coworker in the industry of Evil) could do that to Bubbles, a superhero. No wonder Brick is unsettled, Boomer is expressing dissent, and suddenly has morals in regards to a superhero.

* Monday broke my heart

Chapter 9 has 2 important scenes that I want to discuss: interactions between his brothers and Brick the day after his date with Blossom, and some interactions at Robin's party. After the date, Brick is miserable. He doesn't sleep at all, he doesn't eat, he doesn't shower, he just hunches over the kitchen table all night. His brothers, who feel much better about their nights, try to cheer him up at least half-heartedly. Boomer is the one who asks if he's eaten, if he wants or needs anything. Butch encourages him to take a shower. After he finally does, they burst into his room, joint in hand. Boomer tells him to cheer up, Butch says "don't suppose you're gonna tell us what's up", and they just spend time with him, passing the joint around. It's scenes like this that I really treasure regarding the Boys. None of them are very communicative or vulnerable with others, and only Boomer seems to have much emotional intelligence in terms of self-knowledge and caring about others' feelings, but both Butch and Boomer do try to be there for Brick, in the ways that he allows them to be. It's easy to forget that between the ribbing, resentment, and abusive discipline.

Unfortunately, it's not even a week later (on a Friday, after several miserable days of Blossom basically ignoring him, and of trying to convince himself it's just adolescent hormones) when Brick turns his own emotional unrest against Boomer. He accuses Boomer of letting Bubbles get to him too much, of listening to her too much, and not having his priorities straight. He tries to order Boomer to break up with Bubbles, even threatening to make it more difficult for Boomer when they return to their jobs. And while he makes some good points about some of the unhealthy aspects Boomer's relationship with Bubbles (like fixating on her at the expense of his own interests and personal time, and becoming overdependent on her), he is absolutely projecting his own feelings and priorities onto Boomer. I think in a way he's worried about Boomer getting hurt like he is hurt, assuming it's inevitable and that it's just due to some distracting hormones.

He doesn't want Boomer to be "trapped". But it's still really very much about himself. He doesn't want Boomer to "drop everything [he's] doing if she so much as utters a word", and throw away everything Brick's been working for. He wants Boomer to do what he hopes he would do in that situation.

This exchange sends Boomer flying to Bubbles, and in their conversation, he reveals some very important aspects of his motivations, and his relationship with Brick.

Boomer is not invested in Evil. We've seen his more passive nature compared to Brick and Butch, and his active efforts to try to be good for Bubbles, something Brick would probly never even consider. Brick obviously makes the calls, and Boomer goes along with it cuz he literally has nothing else to do. His motivations so far have been his loyalty in emotional attachments, and lack of moral conviction. But recently, those things have been changing. Now he has someone he loves who reciprocates in a clear, communicative way. And that same person is teaching him what being "good" means, and asking him to change. In contrast, Butch goes along with Brick out of loyalty to a degree, and also cuz where else is he going to be able to get out his aggression and superpowered physical need for destruction and violence? Where else is he going to be able to handle dangerous weapons, and have enough money to self-medicate? Especially since, by himself, he's doesn't exactly inspire confidence in his reliability or ability to think on his feet.

Getting back to the scene, Boomer is venting about Brick wanting him to break up with Bubbles. And he frantically rants about how Brick is the leader, Butch is the tough guy, and he has nothing. How he's the runt, that the only thing people ever remark about him is that he's the stupid one, that his brothers don't need him for anything. That the one thing that makes him special is his music gift, but even that isn't really his. He's got some serious self-esteem issues, especially in regards to his brothers. Bubbles tries to calm him down, and Boomer ends up Bubbles about the Boys' job. Again, in their conversation, we get a little peek into his inner world, and his relationship with Brick:

Here we see that Boomer still cares about Brick, and still feels a sense of brotherly obligation to him. But I think he's pretty much done in terms of long term loyalty. I think he'll always care for Brick, but he's deciding in this moment that he won't always follow his lead, there's an expiration date. It'd be really interesting to see how Brick reacts to that when the time comes. I'm gonna put a pin in this thought as well.

Just before the party, Blossom and Bubbles go over to the Boys' apartment to give Boomer a haircut. As Blossom's beginning to cut his hair, Brick enters the apartment. After Brick asks what the they're doing, and Blossom says she's cutting Boomer's hair, Boomer makes a point of showing another act of defiance. He addresses Brick, making sure that he can see him reaching for Bubbles' hand - a silent, but pointed rebellion against Brick's previous orders to break up with her.

At the actual party, the infamous truth or dare game plays out. The part I want to talk about is when Buttercup kisses Brick on a dare, and Brick and Butch's subsequent interaction. As Brick goes back inside, Butch is waiting behind the door, glaring at him.

Brick glanced at him and frowned. What?”

Butch just stared at him, fuming.

“What, Butch?” Brick sighed.

“You're a fucking dick,” Butch spat, shaking his head, and shoved past Brick as he went back upstairs.

Brick's initial reaction, reads as confused. His second reaction is tired, exasperated, and I feel like he's just like "ugh what now". Like this is a repeated issue, where he doesn't know why Butch is mad at him. And this to me just demonstrates a continuous utter lack of understanding, in terms of Butch's perspective, and a surprising lack of pattern recognition for Brick. The only reason we've seen for why Butch is ever pissed at Brick, is due to jealousy. His reactions and behaviors are pretty damn consistent. But Brick just doesn't connect the dots, whether cuz of his issues with analyzing emotions, or cuz he was lost in thought. Either way, he fails to realize how attached Butch truly is to Buttercup. He doesn't see that it's not just Boomer (and himself) who's "trapped" by one of the Girls. And to be fair, Butch himself doesnt know it, but for someone who declared that he knew Butch and Boomer, he really doesn't know shit about Butch's internal experiences. This point of resentment and bitterness on Butch's part is a good jumping off point to go into a quasi-conclusion built from the many scenes I've put a pin in.

Butch is deeply loyal to Brick. We see this in many scenes. During the incident with the mama monster and her babies, Butch tells Blossom, "you ain't my leader". He says this again when defending Brick against Buttercup and Blossom in chapter 7. At the beach, Butch executes orders without question, and without hesitation. At a single word, he immediately eyebeams the computer in Blossom's hand, almost as quickly as if Butch was a gun and Brick had pulled the trigger. And all of this is in spite of the deep-seated jealousy and resentment Butch holds for Brick, the fact that he treats Butch like crap, beating the shit out of him over disobedience, and the fact that Brick is a controlling killjoy. So why is he so unquestioningly loyal to Brick? I think one aspect is that he obviously cares about his brothers. Yeah Butch makes fun of them, and gets mad at them sometimes, but that's what siblings do. Regarding the abuse, he has literally said that the reason Brick is so hard on him is cuz "he deserves it" (chap 3). This is a common mindset in abuse victims, and Butch is no exception. This next reason doesn't necessarily have much evidence, so its more of a headcanon, but i think he's also aware, to an extent, of how Brick has taken care of him and Boomer. He knows Brick got them out of Him's grasp, knows he's basically why they have a job with JS at all, why they've had good income. He's not the most analytical, but he's observant of others' moods, emotions, and behavior. We've seen him be so with literally everyone in the hallway when the Boys first attend school, with Blossom and Brick, with Buttercup, Mitch, etc. He acts like a dumbass, but he's not stupid. I think he sees how Brick has had his back (at least against outsiders), and this is a contributing factor to his loyalty. There's also the fact that siblings often fuck each other over, and still love each other and remain loyal to each other. As much as theyre atypical siblings, they're still brothers.

In contrast, Boomer seems to not be as unconditionally loyal to Brick. He tries to be there for Brick, particularly in terms of emotional support, but he is more inclined to ask questions about orders, and when it came to Bubbles he's even willing to outwardly show defiance against Brick's judgement. Ultimately, Boomer is very emotion driven. For loyalty, he needs to love and be loved. He loves Brick, and I think Brick loves him too. But Brick is not exactly demonstrative in his brotherly affection, and I think Boomer needs that. He craves and needs recognition and affirmation. Brick recognizes that Boomer is emotionally driven, but doesn't realize his emotional needs. And that is where Brick fails as a leader. Brick doesn't recognize the need for different leadership styles, based on the needs of his brothers/team. And that is why he's going to lose Boomer eventually. To someone who reciprocates and demonstrates their affection for him.

* Tried to stick a dead body inside me

This last part is on Chapter 10, with particular focus on the symbolism in the Vortex. I've already basically outlined my theories on this in relation to the Boys' dynamics in a post (link in the reblog), but I'll briefly summarize. The actions that happen in the Vortex, as well as the different positions of the Boys, is very important in regards to their relationships with each other. Boomer is at the lowest place, reflecting his lack of self-worth compared to his brothers. He stands at the bottom of a deep pool. He's alone in the cold, dark depths of the water, and the only way out is up. Brick is in the middle, standing on the floor around the pool. He has more freedom of movement than Boomer, and can make more choices. But soon he finds that he's swallowed up by rising waters as it floods outside of its designated area, disregarding boundaries, unable to be compartmentalized. It reflects his loss of control over his situation/environment, his inner turmoil, and relatively recent inability to simply contain and subdue his emotions. Butch is at the highest point, on a fence with Buttercup, feeling free and at peace with her at his back. Because he is literally "on the fence", with Buttercup on the other side, I feel like he might be (subconsciously) reevaluating where his loyalties lie - with Brick, or with Buttercup. It's worth noting that he is only able to be at that height when she is with him. As soon as Brick moves through her as if she's not there, Butch is eviscerated and pushed backwards off of his perch. And the culprit responsible for cutting him open and pushing him off the fence, forcing him "back in his place" or "back in line", is Brick - the one person Butch always seems to lose to (in his mind at least). This also reflects how Brick uses violence to discipline Butch and keep him in line, and that he tries to use that punishment as a way to regain control (since he unknowingly uses Butch's insides to pull himself out of a situation he couldn't control).

Going back to Boomer and Brick, Boomer is the weight dragging Brick down, reflecting Brick's view that Boomer is the runt, and also more recently, a liability due to his attachment to a certain blonde, blue-eyed Powerpuff Girl. Boomer sees Bubbles and her nurturing, loving care for him as a way out of the dark isolation he feels at the bottom. And that's the way he feels with his brothers. He's left behind, alone and cold, Brick and Butch far above him. But he has no hope that they will help him up. It's only Bubbles who seems to see him down there, and altho she doesn't help him either, she does inspire him to gather the strength to pull himself up to grab hold of her.

The symbolism honestly conveys their current relationships with each other, and their internal experiences, in such a concise and creative way that it gets me every time.

TL;DR

Butch is extremely loyal to Brick in an automatic and unquestioning way, despite all the resentment he has for Brick. But I theorize that that may be changing, very slowly, due to Buttercup. He genuinely cares about his brothers, even tho he rags on them a lot and isn't demonstrative or expressive about it. He seems to internalize the idea that he deserves violent consequences for misbehavior, and I wonder how much of his self-destructive behaviors are linked to that.

Boomer is loyal to Brick, but it's not quite as ingrained as Butch's loyalty. Bubbles is heavily impacting his loyalties, partly cuz, generally speaking, Brick and Butch make him feel worthless while she makes him feel wanted and loved. I think he knows his brothers care about him to an extent, but he has emotional needs that they arent willing or able to fulfill. He and Butch are closer than he is to Brick, and I think he understands Butch better than Brick does at least.

Brick is much more emotionally driven than hed like to admit. It influences what he allows his brothers to do, and how he enforces discipline on them. He's pretty typical in terms of thinking that his abuse and manipulation is justified or acceptable. I think he actually wants what he thinks is best for his brothers, but it's very tied to what he wants and thinks is the best path. He projects a lot of his wants and issues onto them. I don't think he's ever imagined a future where they weren't a team. Despite his emotional nature, he lacks emotional intelligence and doesn't understand or know Butch and Boomer nearly as well as he thinks he does. He knows their behavior extremely well, but not the inner processes and motivations that drive that behavior. And I think that's gonna trip him up.

A Dose of SPN Positivity!

For those who know me, they know I love this show.... flaws and all! im critical sometimes, but not overly. Bottom line, I am addicted to the story and Im in love with Sam and Dean.  With Season 14 about to start, and we’re all getting antsy, too much negativity has been flying around, so I want to share some things i love most about the show, and maybe make some of you reflect for a moment and think “Yeah, that is pretty great” and smile.  Supernatural has been referred to as “The Little Show That Could” and to me, its such a fitting description. Logically, on the surface, it looks like it just can’t. I mean, how can a fantasy/horror show, survive with such a low budget, light special effects, and not very scary most of the time. I mean hell, they dont even have that many monsters that look like monsters, so why has it lasted longer than a season or 2? Let alone, 14 seasons with no signs of stopping yet. First and foremost is obvious. Sam and Dean and the actors who play them.  This essay will be full of gushing about these boys, so if you dont feel like enduring such a hardship, scroll on past. if that interests you.....

Yes these 2 fabulous men are the life blood of this show. Without them, we’d have nothing. THEY are the reason, this little show can, and does. Even those who like one and not the other, even if they dont realize it, the one they prefer is who they are because of the other. Both of their qualities and flaws can be directly linked to their influence on each other. If for some reason the other was gone for good, the one left will change drastically. As we see when one is dead or in grave danger, albeit temporarily, the other changes. Sam is no longer sweet, laid back and practical, and Dean is no longer funny, charming, and nurturing.  In fact, they both seem to become an amplified version of their brother. When Sam dies, Dean gets quiet, sometimes too quiet. He also gets methodical and focused. You may get lucky and just get shot in the back, but if he chooses to speak, he chooses his words to let you know shits gonna hit the fan. “You have my brother, and you have one chance, just one, to hand him over, and if he isnt in one peice, when I find you, and I WILL find you, I will take you apart” Sam on the other hand is boiling over with emotion. My boy becomes savage. He doesnt always choose a lot of words to say, he gets his whole point across most of the time with “WHERES MY BROTHER???!!!!” This... my friends, is good stuff! These things couldnt be done with such beauty without Jared and Jensen. Their offscreen relationship, whatever it may be, is wonderful. Theres no denying the love and respect they have for each other. They are very supportive of each other, and help make the other better at their job. They’re not typical actors who have a work relationship but otherwise spend time with each other. They genuinely enjoy being together, and this shows on screen. When two people are this good at their jobs, and with each other, you just have to keep watching. Other things I love about the show, are kinda small. Some maybe youve never noticed, but maybe now you will and enjoy them too, like... Brains vs Brawn: At first glance, we all go Sam=brains, Dean=brawn right? But thats not actually the case. Dean is far from stupid, and Sam is nowheres near a wimp. Dean teases Sam about being a nerd, and Sam doesnt mind, he kinda wears his nerdiness like a badge of honor. Dean will never admit to being a nerd, but he is. He’s read Vonnegut, knows every old west cowboy statistic, and likes LARPing. Sam, though a bookworm, is one tough mofo. hes tall and muscular and has shown to be a little freakishly strong. He can also take a great deal of pain. And though Dean is known more to be the fighter, he can be very warm and nurturing. And nerdy Sam can make you shit your pants with just a look if you piss him off just right. I absolutely LOVE this balance!! Its one of my favorite things! Old school vs New; A lot has changed in 14 seasons. The brothers have grown, as well as the story, but their roots are never forgotten. They’re still driving around in the same car. Hell. Baby has become the 3rd lead! Even though they have mom back, they never forgot her, or dad, and both were spoken of often throughout the series. They refer back to old days often, so we can all get a feel of nostalgia when we remember too. Most episodes bring the deep past up in one way or another, I love this! Loss and Death: I know so many of us complain that they die and come back too much, but I have a real appreciation for it, The circumstances are always different, and so are the methonds of coming back. Sometimes the death isnt serious, or they dont “seem” dead, like in First Blood or Dark Side of the Moon, when there may have been an initial “wtf?” we got to see them in heaven, and in first blood, they came right back. However there was deep seriousness in All Hell Breaks Loose, No Rest for the Wicked,  Do You Believe in Miracles, Swan Song, Red Meat and Beat The Devil that you felt the dying brother’s physical pain, and then the emotional pain of the surviving brother.  No matter how many times they die, they still hit these types of episodes out of the park. WE may know theyre coming back, but they dont. it still crushes them and I love this! Sam and Dean’s Sexuality: I love that their sexual natures are different, but theyre both okay. Dean is sexually active, enjoys porn and vocalizes some fantasies, Though Sam can tease him a little, its just brotherly ribbing, its not judgemental or trying to make Dean feel bad. Sam isnt overly sexual, he’s gone many seasons without sex at all. He doesnt appear to enjoy porn, we know he doesnt like strip clubs, and its NOT because he’s unattractive!! Dean teases him but he doesnt try to make him feel bad. When he has heavily suggested that Sam get laid, its just because he wants him to have fun. Dean even said he appreciated that Sam wanted to stay pure and waited. Otherwise, its okay that Sam is (at least kinda) asexual. Neither are shunned or judged because of their sexuality. Winsync: This is one of the greatest things. if they didnt do this, we wouldnt care, we would never say “It would be a much better show if the brothers mirrored each other, or did the same thing at the same time” but for whatever reason, TPTB wanted this, and it works so well! Its an intimacy we can see without the show going OTT bromantic. Its the connection, the closeness, and being soulmates. I LOVE this! Soulmates and Brothers: Normally a show will make soulmates out of lovers. It’s not often they do it with siblings. It helps justify their deep love and devotion. It adds an additional layer to their relationship. It makes them so tied together that they will share eternity in heaven together, and not just in their memories. This was a very good decision made by Kripke and crew, so we will all know they cant live without each other, even if they just lived in different homes. I love this! Meta Madness: Though I dont like all the meta episodes, I do love the fact they can do them, and DO do them. Because the whole premise is the supernatural, nothing is impossible, even AUs and cartoon worlds. Sometimes I might roll my eyes, but its awesome to me that they can experiment this way and see how it goes. I Love this!! The Bros are Oblivious: Sam and Dean have been through basically everything, and have seen and done everything, yet they seem shocked when people say theyre famous, or when they heard people tell stories about them. Occasionally they grasp their importance, like when they tell people they save the world, but they were impressed that Asa fixed killed 5 Wendigo, and had an Angel Blade, and Father Luca met the Pope. I mean God hung out at the bunker and made them pancakes! Their Heads Dont Get Too Big: Every once in a while, TPTB make sure we, and the boys, remember that they are only human. Even if they lock away Satan, kill Death, save God’s life, they’re just men. Remember when Bobby died and Dean was sure he wouldnt because “its just one bullet!” ? I can see how it would seem so silly to Dean, and even to us, that someone who has lived through so much, could die from a stupid little bullet. I think that one of the smartest things the show has done in ages, was to have Sam tortured by Toni and friend. Sam was so bold and cocky (and need I say sexy?) telling Toni he’d been tortured by the devil himself, and what could she do to him... He soon learned Hell torture or not,  cold showers still suck, blow torches to the feet still hurt like hell, and a mortal human can still fuck with his head. And Dean, well he can still be put on the injured reserve list from a jacked up leg. IMO S12 was great for re-humanizing the Winchesters. I love this! Comedy to Tragedy: Some of the best episodes, started out funny and ended in a tear jerker. Mystery Spot, Just My Imagination, and Beat The Devil top my list. I love the emotional rollar coaster, Coming away exhausted from an episode is the bestthing I can ask for! They havent tried it the other way around, tragedy to comedy, and thats good. If you are crying at the beginning and laughing later, it doesnt justify the grief and you may feel let down and hollow after. SPN is great with having some humor in even the most depressing episodes, but they know when using it and leaving it out is best. I love this! Brohugs: My #1 favorite thing, aside from the hug in 6.1, they have all been beautiful. Not once, have the boys lost the love, or even repeated the same hug. Each one conveys a different message, a different emotion, but all say “I love you more than everything” and I wont ever get tired of them! I would do anything for a single hug in my whole life that had such love in it, as any Winchester bro hug! I.LOVE.THIS!! Now I hope if you read this far, you got to smile a few times, and a spark was added to the fire that you fell in love with 14 seasons ago. Here’s to S14, i hope its filled with all of these wonderful things!

Prompt: do you think you can do a dandy one based off the song "we dont talk anymore"? (not very emo lmao i know) where they break up and months later one of them is in a new relationship but theyre both not happy about it and they get back in touch and eventually get back together? sorry if this was confusing but thank you (: xx

Title: The apple of my eye also the worm inside 

Pairing: Dandy (David Escamilla/Andy Leo)

Song: Lover Letter - Mark Johns

ADDED: (hi i missed ya) and quick plot idea (is how you say it) can you do a dandy one where they get into a fight and david goes all crazy after and comes back to andy but when andy almost leaves he shows him how much he loves him and stuff (i thought of this while listening to no more bad days by this wild life)

ADDED: HEY!! can you do a dandy fluff where andy gets really depressed and he thinks dave dislikes him, and dave shows him he loves him and stuff?

ADDED: can you please please please write a smut between two of the guys from CTE it can be whoever you choose but please

WARNING CONTAINS: M/M, brake-up, Make-up, talk about therapy, light smut, If you do not like this prompt or pairing, do not read it! It’s not hard

A/N: almost 3K; love this ship so damn much and I miss David he’s not gone i just miss him in CTE and i put one of my other fav band here. 

"I'm not fucking cheating on you, stop asking!"

"Then way are you so damn defensive?"

"I don't know Andy, maybe the fact that your always accusing me of shit I haven't done how fo you think that makes me feel, on a daily bases?"

"I don't-"

"Like honestly Andy, do you trust me at all?"

"Yes but-"

"There shouldn't be a 'but and' if you actually trusted me. You make me feel like shit."

Andy and David stared at each other not saying a word for a moment.

Andy, broke the silence, "You make me feel like a fucking jackass most of the time, you're right maybe I don't trust you anymore since, Allison."

"Then I can't fucking be with you then, i'm so sick and tired of you throwing that in my face for everything."

"Then fucking go."

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

The door slammed as David walked out of their apartment.

*One month later*

"Man, the sleep person and couch potato got nothing on you, Andy, can I call the Guinness world record about you?"

"Sure."

"You wanna get food with me this time?

"No." Andy said.

Brandon sighed and laid back down on Andy's bed. It's been a couple days since he was here and although it doesn't look like Andy moved he does have different clothes on so he is happy that his friend at least change maybe even showered.

Brandon Didn't exactly like the situation his best friend just broke up with boyfriend who is also his friends. Brandon honestly felt Andy deserves time considering they've been together for four years except that mishap two years ago but even then they didn't break up just split for like a week and then got back together.

Andy barely left their apartment. He ordered food, pet Rose their adopted gray pitbull, and listen to music.

David was crashing on Tree's place for about two weeks then he moved to Paul's couch for another two weeks but then he came back to Hayden yesterday. From what Hayden told Brandon he did shit still going to jam, eating talking with people, but definitely angry and sad profusely and smoke a lot.

Hayden, Brandon, and Brent, Definitely want that worried, for starters David still has the majority of the stuff in their apartment. Andy is not exactly making a fuss to get rid of it he felt that if he did it would be honestly over.

"Andy?"

"Yea?"

"I think you should go on a date with this guy I wanna set with you." Brandon said not daring to look from his phone as he felt Andy move on the bed so he could look at his so-called best friend at the moment.

"What?"

"Not like romance or some shit, this dude, got dumped too but I know you- have you ever heard of a sadoff?" Brandon asked.

and he shook his head no, "basically sad people get together and they talk about how sad they are and some feel better, not 100% but like lighter like 'I know that shit happened to everybody but it's nice talking about it with somebody else that it is happening to at this exact moment with me' and if feels different because it's somebody else it's not family or friends. It's like you're sharing with someone in the group therapy or those anonymous meeting you just feel okay to share and it's happening to them at the moment, so it's not past experiences." Brandon explained, He had heard about this from somebody else he never experienced it but it does sound like something he would actually want to try for himself so he wanted to tell Andy.

Andy thought about it for moment, when he was younger yeah did it go therapy and it made him feel better but since then he hasn't gone. He know his families and friends were worried since he was actually doing anything just being sad. Even David's parents called him saying she still loved him and was worried about him, "Yea I wanna try that, and soon before I change my mind."

"okay man, I got you." Brandon smiled and hugged Andy, Andy hugged him back.

After two days since their conversation Andy was going out to a Mexican restaurant called Teotihuacan, Brandon said he was meeting someone called Victor. Andy got out of his car, walked over to the restaurant. He saw someone in a hoodie siting one the bench for looking at him.

"Victor?"

"Yea, Andy?" Victor stood up, And he could tell that the stewards definitely taller than him and possibly Brandon.

"Yea, hi." Andy said extending his right hand to shake Victor's hand. The whole thing was pretty awkward but once they were inside, they order their food, and waited at a table for the waitress to bring it to them.

"You ever done this before?"

"No, but seemed nice."

"Yea same here."

Neither men wanted to start but it had to be done so Victor talked first, "One of us has to talk first."

"Shoot yea so how long you and....." Andy waited for Victor to fill in the blank.

"Jeremy well Juno, we've been dating for like two years, been separated for like two weeks, not talking. You?"

"David, Dating for four, broke up about a month ago, not talking too."

"We're fighting about telling people, not really fans more of family there anything, honestly I thought in the beginning it was the whole interracial thing, but he said he doesn't care while we were yelling at other at the time."

"What do you do?" Andy said taking an interest in Victor's occupation hearing that he has fans too.

"Band, with some friends he is the clean singer, I'm the drummer."

"Nice I'm in a band too, and clean singer as well, Dave is our screamer. We're fighting about trust, basically me not trusting him." Andy shared happily, it made him feel better that he can relate to Victor more.

"Shit why?" Victor asked. They stop talking for a moment when the waitress brought their food they said thank you and continue talking.

"it's just always in the back of my mind, that he'll find somebody else; he can be with somebody else; he will be with somebody else. And it doesn't help that I was right once when he was with some girl, didn't do anything they were just kissing and naked but still."

"You forgave him?"

"Yea, but probably not since he told me while we were breaking up that I basically throw in his face all the time."

"so you didn't forgive him."

"I guess not."

"because if you honestly for gave him, you wouldn't care you wouldn't think about it, so it still hurts, have you guys really talked about it?

"Not really."

"Scared to brake up?"

Andy laughed at that, "It's ironic now." Andy really thought about it for moment he messed up. No wonder Dave broke up with him how you could be with like that, holding a grudge for two years and throwing it in your face. Andy would break up with himself if he could.

" so you're not down would be a secret?"

"No, man feels bad like i'm the fucking problem. Or a fucking disease, I wanna be with someone who doesn't make me feel like that but I love him. I was cool think it was the fans but since we got some popularity and both of our albums so far did well and the third one is still in the works. So I was thinking that maybe it's time but he said no. That's when I started to feel disgusting and started talking to him about and saying why 'why?' 'not?' 'the hell is your problem?' Then he finally tells me it's his family, that's when I got heartbroken I told my family already, I told them last year and I thought he did too because we talked about it and I found out he lied to my face about it and-." Victor stopped talking and wiped his eyes with the back of his hands.

"Your fantasy is shattered." Andy imported.

"Fucking destroyed more like, but I still want to be with him. But I can't make him tell his family I can't tell his family if he doesn't want to. So it's over, but I'm still keeping my stuff at his place, i'm hoping one of my friends could get it." Victor shared.

"He'll tell them." Andy said to reassure Victor.

"what makes you say that?"

"David kept his shit at our apartment and I haven't said anything since I don't want it to be over, I'm hoping he comes one day and we talk, but I'm also scared if we talk because then what happens if he finds out he likes being without me. Juno may tell them, he's scared as shit I bet and doesn't want to but if he didn't end things with you he is looking at the opinion to tell them."

"I think your right, I have to talk to him again and really talk not tell. David, will come back too, Andy. I think you have to talk about what happen even if it's been years."

"Yea I think so too and maybe therapy, I think I need to go back for myself."

"Shot man, congrats on wanting to go."

"Thanks and thanks for meeting for me it didn't suck."

"Yeah it didn't. Thanks for meeting me man, is it cool if I get your number I kinda wanna tell you the aftermath."

"Hell yea man, I wanna see how this story ends." The two men laughed as they finish their meal they continue talking about their music for a little bit but then decided that they needed to go home to think about their next move, they exchange numbers and say goodbye.

Once Andy got home he took care Rose, and started writing about what he wanted to say to David. What he hated about what happened, what if he fears, and what he wants to do from that point. It took him three days but he finally texted David.

To Dave: rose and I miss you. From Dave: I miss rose and you To Dave: come over? From Dave: today? To Dave: whenever you want to From Dave: I wanna come now To Dave: I'm here waitin From Dave: see you soon

Hayden didn't live far from their apartment but it's a surprise how fast David came over.

"Hey." David said once Andy open the door, once he saw David through the peephole.

"Hi, welcome to your own place." Andy said trying to Lighten the air around them letting Dave in.

David hugged Andy as soon as he was inside, Andy hugged back.

"Sorry missed you."

"It's okay I missed you too. Don't kiss me yet." Andy whispered. The couple lack of each other David went to go see Rose on the sofa.

Andy came over to him and set next Dave on the sofa as he was petting Rose, "Dave, I'm sorry for Power been treating you the past two years. And for always throwing in your face, for always accusing you of stuff you haven't done. I'm not over what happened with Allison, we never talked about it and I want to, I really want you to tell me why? Why did you do it?"

"I've been sitting on this for two years, and honestly I don't have a good reason still. I think I made it happen, because i've always dated girls and then I was dating you and I love you, but I think I made myself be with her to see if I would ever go back and it's stupid I know. I don't even know why I did it. I regret it so much that's why I told you what happened, but once you said we could forget about it I wanted to, I was so happy to forget something it. But then you brought it up but you said you didn't wanna talk about it still, but I still feel like shit every time and then two years of feeling like shit. And then you not trusting me is like me being with someone who stabs me." Andy grabed David's other hand, and intertwined their fingers together.

"I'm sorry, I made you feel that way I had no idea. I was selfish about it, taking out my insecurities on you too, and beating you with something that I lied to you and said that I got over when I didn't. I should've talk to you about it so wouldn't escalate into this. You know I have issues with myself and I guess I couldn't handle you loving me either. What regardless of that I shouldn't have attacked you with my issues, I am sorry David, I'm so sorry for making you feel this way, I never want to give you my problems." Andy said, David tired so his body was facing Andy on the sofa, their knees touching in such closeness.

"I'm sorry too, for cheating, and don't be sorry I told you I would be there for you, just like you say you were there for me but, we have to communicate better because honestly I don't want to take breaks from us I love us, I love you." At this point Andy and David were shedding some tears on how emotional this conversation was.

"I don't think I can, honestly it's not because I don't trust you because the fact of the matter is the fact that still want to be with you. If I didn't trust you I would be gone, honestly. I do trust you with me I just don't trust myself to know that you are good, that I picked someone good. I'm thinking of going back to therapy, for myself. I know I need you but you can't just be it. You shouldn't be the only one either." David brought Andy into a hug once again Andy resting his head on David's shoulder

"That's okay Andy, do what you need to I'll support you every step. I'm here I don't want to go any where, if it's not with you."

Andy laughed, "corny."

"You love it, you know you do."

"I love you."

"I love you, too. You can kiss me now." David, didn't had to be told twice to kiss the man he loves.

"Back together?"Andy asked once he pulled back from the kiss.

"Someone has to take you to therapy." Andy smiled that David's response.

The two of them spent the rest of the night in bed, cuddling. Just hold each other for the sake of holding each other.

*two weeks later~sexy time~*

David was back at his apartment with his boyfriend Andy, they thanked Brandon, Brent and Hayden for dealing with them. They bought their friends gifts and went over to their families to reassure them they were good now.

Victor and Juno worked things out. Juno did in fact told his family, and invited them to dinner at his and Victor's place. The older couple even went on a double date, with Andy and David. They had a amazing time together.

Andy has already gone to a session with his therapist. David helped him look for a good one for him. Andy plans and payed to meet with his therapist once a week for six months. Andy was concerned about when he goes back on tour this year, but his therapist reassured him by informing him that he could do online therapy as well with him, when he was on tour.

Andy and David hasn't had sex since they broke up, for the past two weeks they've been very cuddly but haven't gone farther then dry humping. At this point they were both ready to get back on that bed, so they did.

David took Andy's face in his hands and put it to his face and kissed him hard.

"Missed this miss you" Andy said.

David grabbed Andy harder and closer. Desperate and needy. Kissing him deeper. He pushed the Andy down on the bed onto his back. He was grabbing Andy nearly too tight almost as if Andy would disappear if he didn't held on tight. David's body pressed down on Andy's and David moaned in to his mouth as they kissed.

Andy knew David needed him and he needed him too. He missed David's hands running all over his body. Up under his shirt and down his thighs, over the bulge in his pants. David started unbuttoning their jeans and pulling them off and in return the younger man helped David unbuckle his belt and shirts. They were both laying in bed completely exposed to each other feeling secure in their own little world. David went down Andy's body pressing kisses along the way until he was at his legs and pushed in to him slowly while propping himself up with one arm to the bed.

Andy whimpered. "David.. Oh.."

Andy started moving his hips with David.

"Fuck.. Andy. Ahhh..."

David started moving quicker and he was close, "I'm sorry, baby,not lasting long her for you today." breathed out in-between thrusts. Andy grabbed on to David around his neck. Andy's breaths were short and quick and his eyes mostly shut tight but sometimes he looked at his lover.

Their breathing grew quicker and quicker and David's body vibrated with the deep moans. He pushed himself as far as he could in to Andy and moaned his name one last time before they both came at the same time. David got tissue from the side of the bed and clean them both up before laying down next to his boyfriend.

When they had both calmed down and their heartbeats slowed, Andy grabbed on to David tightly. I love you so much, Dave." he said and nestled in to the side of his lover's face. David held on to Andy and whispered sweet things to his boyfriend as they both fell asleep.

The Break up/make up End

Feel free to send me any request of any ship or pairing you want

life updates

I feel like i’ve been kind of MIA lately in terms of updating tumblr and all that. Like usually nowadays I just fill up my queue and then log off and I dont really make that many personal posts or original content all that much lately.

Firstly, I want to update you all on all the new stuff I’ve been working on. I started a new painting series which is basically a Yeontan BT21 crossover. I have some ideas for continuing that circle painting series with OT7. I have Yoongi finished and I chose a color scheme for Hoseok. I did a painting for Hoseok’s birthday and I tried a new style that I’ve never done before and I’m really happy with how it turned out I can’t wait for you guys to see it!

In terms of writing, I’m currently working on a YoongixReader fic but it’s going slowly mainly because it’s kind of based on my life and I want to tell the story properly. I have a few scenes writing for some other fics but I don’t have concrete ideas or plots for them yet and I don’t know if I ever will. I plan on finishing the Always series but I’m not happy with the original plan I had for the series so I still have to rewrite my original ending. As for Jeon Jungkook is dead, I wrote part 1 very spur of the moment and honestly I dont remember what I wanted for part 2. I dont know if I’ll ever finish it tbh.

Now that those are out of the way, time for personal updates. As some of you may know, I started uni back in september. Before that I was going to community college to complete my general education requirements and now I’m taking courses that are very focused on my major aka the hard stuff. Also, we’re finally getting into the rocket science courses and they’re really cool!!! My workload is a lot heavier lately and I barely have time for sleep let alone writing and drawing. I’m taking 5 classes this quarter which may or may not have been a mistake but like homegirl wants to graduate on time.

For those of you who were following me during the whole “thirst boi” thing, no, i never hooked up with him, however, he is now one of my very good friends and has introduced me to another guy who’s also become a close friend. Like one time i slept over at their place and we baked cookies and watched cartoons. 

I also mentioned a “cute boy” in one of my classes a while back. I think most of my posts were about wanting to talk to him but not knowing how. Well, I finally talked to him after midterms last quarter, we we also became very good friends. At one point I thought he really liked me. We would do homework together and he would offer to drive me home if we stayed late at the library. I was spending nearly all day everyday with him (and I still do). But sadly, I found out after the quarter ended that he has a girlfriend. tbh I still really like him and sometimes it’s hard spending so much time with him but not being able to be with him ya know? I honestly think the universe is working against me because he is literally like everything I look for in a guy. And he smells like something from my childhood???? Also one time he came over to my apartment when we had a break in between classes and he talked to my housemates and they all really got along with him and also really liked him, *sigh* You’ll see a lot of him in Yoongi in that fic i was talking about earlier.

i dont think I ever told you guys about my housemates. I’m living with one of my best friends from middle school and a few other people. Theyre all super nice and I’m so grateful to live with such amazing people. We all get along so well and have “house outings” on a regular basis. A couple of weeks ago we all went together to get 순두부 for one of their birthdays, and today three of us got pizza together after class and then four of us went together to get boba. And whenever we’re stressed or just need to wind down, we sit on the floor of the living room together (we dont have a couch or like furniture really) and talk and eat snacks and complain about our days etc. and two fo them like kpop/khh too! and we listen to it together from time to time. and we have ramen nights where some of us will cook ramen and just eat it together on the floor. we also tease each other a lot which is fun to some extent but can also be kind of annoying. one of the guys is a couple years ahead of me in school but we’re the same major so sometimes he helps me with homework. I’m also on a design project with him which is also pretty fun. I learned how to use a laser cutter for the project so that was really cool.

It’s midnight and i have to get up at 6:30 tomorrow for class but I still havent showered but im still really full from the pizza and only drank a quarter of my milk tea (its strawberry) (i luv strawberry). Anyway, that’s what’s been going on in my life for the last 5 wish months or so? to my old followers, thanks for sticking with me this long. And to my new followers, welcome, thanks for hitting that follow button. I am grateful to every single one of you for supporting me and encouraging me and giving me a safe place to complain or vent or whatever else i need to. also my housemate caught me writing this and he asked to be included in it lmao. his words were “are you writing about me? are you including any of my jokes in your post? am i not funny enough to be included in your tumblr posts?” and then he told me to tell yall that he caught me writing this and he wanted to be included. I dont think he’d ever be able to find my blog because I dont have it searchable by email nor do i use my real name but oh boy if he’s reading this, thats really creepy of you, tyler.

Flight and First day in Seoul

6.24.17~6.26.17

Our flight to Toronto left Columbus around 10:30. It was a fairly small flight, seating no more than 50 people. It was a pretty fast and easy flight, which was lucky because the bathroom was broken on that plane, so that could have been disastrous.

We got into Toronto and the airport may have looked small from the outside but the inside was very big, fancy and artsy; they had mini art galleries and shopping boutiques; there was a coach store and a Victoria secret store. Our connecting flight to Seoul was delayed by about 25 minutes so we all decided to get some snacks and whatnot since we were all hangry.

After about an hour and a half we boarded the connecting flight to Seoul and the take off preparations/safety instructions were very interesting; they were repeated in about 5 languages: English and french because we were in Canada, and then Korean, Chinese and Japanese because we were flying into Seoul. i can’t really remember, but there might have been Spanish too, for some reason. For about the first few hours we were very excited about the flight: the food, the mini television screens that had everything you could want on them. We all watched a movie together but towards the end of that one I was starting to doze off every now and then. During that movie we got our first meal which was a dinner. It was surprisingly very good, especially for being airplane food. The main part was rice with marinated beef, cabbage and lettuce. There was also a salad, bread, and a brownie.

 At this point it already felt like it had been forever since we had been on the plane even though it had only been roughly 3 hours, so I decided to try and get some sleep even though we had all been playing on staying up so that we could been on the time zone when we got there. It was not a very deep or comfortable sleep but I did what I could. When I woke up I looked through some more movies and shows and found some episodes of the middle so I watched all of those. I then found an episode of fairly odd parents and watched that. With nothing much else to do I watched the latest bourne movie. Somewhere in the middle of that we got a small snack that had a mini sandwich, pretzels, some type of cracker/cookie, and I ended up getting some coffee to help me stay up. I finished the bourne movie and finally picked a Korean movie to watch. Id heard that it was really good so I decided to watch it…I ended up crying at the end, it was sooo sad…even though it was in the comedy section. towards the last few hours of the flight we got a breakfast and that was even better than the dinner. We got an omelet with sausage and potatoes and a spinach sauce. There was also a fruit cup and bread.

The descent and landing was a bit rough; there was a lot of turbulence, probably the most I have ever felt. There were a few times that you could actually feel the plane drop for a second or two and you could feel your stomach drop. It was almost like we were on a roller coaster. The landing itself went pretty smoothly though.

After we landed we had about 3 hours until the shuttle bus left to take us to the dorms so we exchanged currency, got some food and other little things we needed to do. at that point we were all just so exhausted and wanted to get back and sleep as soon as possible. once we got on the shuttle we had about an hour drive from Incheon airport back to the dorms which are about half an hour outside the very middle of Seoul. The drive there was very interesting, the way people drive here is insane, especially the bus drivers. People just weave in and out, and change lanes so fast and seemingly without a care. When we got to around the campus the driver had no idea where our specific building was or where to drop us off so he just stopped the bus in the middle of the road to call someone and ask where to go…that was very mind boggling. When we eventually figured out where to go, walking to the building was a whole other adventure in itself. I don’t think there is a flat piece of ground anywhere in this city, so we had to lug our bags up and down multiple hills to get to the dorm. On one very steep hill one girl accidentally let go of her bag and it went flying down the street and almost took someone out. that gave me so much second hand embarrassment, it’ll last me enough for a lifetime.

We got to the dorm around 10pm and had to do some stuff for check in and whatnot. Once we got to the rooms we realized there were several things that we were all missing, so we all went down to the convenience store that is right around the corner. Let me tell you, the convenience stores in America have nothing on the ones here, they are amazing. They literally have everything you could need and everything is so cheap. They have an entire section just dedicated to different types of ramen and they even have a ramen making station, complete with a microwave. They know what they're doing here. One big thing was that none of the rooms had toilet paper so we bought two giant packs to share with pretty much the entire hallway, but we have not really given them to anyone yet so I currently have about 15 rolls of toilet paper sitting under my desk.

Once we got everything we headed back to the rooms because everyone was pretty tired. I ended up just taking a shower and then going to sleep. Another thing that is awesome is the shower. The whole bathroom itself is pretty much the shower; the floor in the bathroom is about an inch or two below the floor in the rest of the room, and there is a drain in the shower but also in the middle of the floor outside of the shower door. That way, it doesn’t matter if you get water everywhere…it stays in the bathroom and drains.

Waking up the next day was kinda hard because we had to meet the program staff outside the building at 8am sharp to head to our orientation at the program office in the city. The trek there was the first time we were all going to be taking public transportation to the city, and the transit system here is very intimidating at first. In the Seoul metropolitan area, I believe there is a total of 18 subway lines and I don’t even want to think about the buses. Despite it being scary, the transit system is sooo nice and it works so well, so much better than in the US. To ride the subway and buses you have to buy a card, called a “T-Money” card. You basically just load money onto that card every now and then to scan and pay at the stations. Whats really nice is that if you need to take the bus after the subway, it doesn’t charge you for the bus if you get on it within 30 minutes of getting off the subway.

So getting to the office wasn’t too hard but it was really frustrating. The third party program that we went through that brought us to Korea University had a total of 66 students in it. taking 66 american students on the subway is very complicated and very headache inducing. Especially when a lot of these students are heavily reinforcing the stereotype of loud obnoxious Americans by being so loud to the point of being disrespectful. But we mad it there in one piece without being scolded so I guess that’s a mission accomplished. From the subway we had to walk quite a ways to get to the building and it was scorching hot. From what I recall it was around 85 degrees with 80% humidity: I was literally dripping sweat. While we were all dying of heat, there were so many people that we saw walking that were in pants or long sleeves that looked perfectly fine, not a drop of sweat on them.

Once we got to the building they told us that the office was on the 11th floor, which was somewhat shocking. That is one very cool thing about the city, everything is just stacked on top of each other. Since Korea itself does not have a lot of land, (apparently the entire country is smaller than Minnesota), things are built upwards instead of outwards. The building however only had one elevator and only took like 6 people at a time, so at some point we just decided to take the stairs, which was a bad idea. By the time we got to the top, I felt very American. I was sweating buckets, breathing like I’d run a marathon and it made me realize how long it’s been since I last exercised.

The orientation itself wasn’t too interesting, just going over stuff we needed to know about classes and safety and whatnot, and it lasted way too long. After we got done, they took us to Gwanghwamun market that was nearby for lunch. We didn’t have a lot of time so we found a little place to just stop by and get some food at. We got some ddeokboki which is spicy rice cake and I got naengmyun which is a buckwheat noodle soup. It took longer than expected so we had to leave before we could finish all the food so we felt pretty bad, but we were gonna be late if we didn’t.

after lunch we headed to Gwanghwamun square that is a big plaza in the middle of an eight lane highway that leads up to Gyeongbok Palace. In the square, there are two statues, one of Admiral Yi Sun Shin and one of King Sejong, who invented hangul, the written alphabet during the Joseon dynasty. Across from the square in the main gate of Gyeongbok palace, which was the royal palace of the Joseon dynasty and was built in 1395. It was really just incredible to see this beautiful old palace right in the middle of the city among huge modern buildings. Inside the palace it was amazing to see a lot people in hanbok, which is the traditional Korean dress. It seemed like a lot of people, especially couples go there to take pictures in their hanboks. The architecture was absolutely breathtaking and it was hard to take in how big the whole place was. It really made me wonder about what it would have been like when it was built and what life was like inside of it. everything about it was just so beautiful and incredible, it was so amazing to be able to walk around and experience it.

one funny thing was we actually met someone from ohio while we were walking around. We wanted to take a group picture next to one of the buildings and the person we asked to take our picture was from here. He was actually a part of the broadway tour that was performing the musical Chicago in seoul, so that was just very interesting to meet someone coincidentally like that.

After touring the palace, we went to a shop that rented out hanboks and had sessions for people to try them on and take pictures. It was definitely a new and interesting experience, but it was towards the end of the day so we all were tired and sweaty and probably smelled really bad. but after we finished there, we were done with group activities so they just released us into the city to do whatever and then find our own way back. Amanda has a friend who lives in seoul and owns a brewery/restraurant so we headed to one of his restaurants in Hyundai Mall for dinner around 6. I ordered some chicken and ended up getting what seemed like 2 whole chickens, I think there was around 20 wings, so I definitely did not finish them all. While we were eating we saw a mini stand that was serving drinks in lightbulbs. It was the cutest thing and we simply could not pass it up. It was called “Bulb Smoothie” and for some reason that just cracked us up. The guy working the stand was very cute and charming so that made it even better hehe. We ended up staying until the mall closed at 9 and then made the long ride back to the dorms and pretty much knocked out as soon as we got in our rooms. We had early morning the next day for another orientation so we all wanted some good sleep.

I think i’ll save the next day for a different post so this one doesn’t turn into a novel, although it’s already pretty long by now. So if you made it this far, all the way to the end I applaud you.

-Bea

June 2nd, 2017

Stolen from an email to John: "I'm exhausted. Yesterday morning when I got to my campsite, a couple warned me that two bison were fighting the night before in the site I was about to occupy. I was like wow - that's strange, and set up camp since I'd already paid. Long story short, last night I woke up to a BISON outside my tent. I could have reached out and touched it. I was so close I could hear its fur swishing against itself as it walked. It sounded like a crackling fire, or a flag being blown in the wind loudly outside my tent. I was terrified. I thought of during the day how I saw bison and prairie dogs happily coexisting, munchin on grass, and I pretended that I was just a big prairie dog, and that the bison wasn't interested in me. The bison continued to graze and happily scratch itself against the tree next to my tent for the next hour or so. The whole night the bison wandered in and out of my campsite, and it was impossible to sleep through. "Bison are unpredictable creatures" is all I've been hearing from park rangers, and though I may not do anything to provoke them - the nature of something being unpredictable is that they'll hurt you anyway. Overall they are very unassuming and look like massive hairy cows with beards and are super cute from your car window though! Gosh John, there's just so much to tell you. I did so many cool hikes this morning. My favorite was a guided nature hike, where you borrowed a brochure and it told you about all the cool geology stuff happening in the canyon! Volcanic dust, burning coal veins, and rock chimneys - oh my! I did so many little hikes this morning, that by the time it was done I had gone around 7 miles, just from putzing around! I helped a hippie and his girlfriend save a caterpiller, and befriended two 40 year old divorced gentlemen I found on a trail! I was going to backcountry camp tonight, but when I got to where I was going to camp, there were bison hanging around and I had seen coyotes earlier. I just hiked back, even though it was several miles,and called it a day. No regrets though! Not trying to get mauled by a bison. I felt like I was chickening out but it genuinely felt unsafe out there. Did I mention a storm was coming in too? Well yeah, that was happening too. By the time I finished all my hiking I was exhausted, and also came to a crux in how dirty I was willing to tolerate being. I just drove around and found a ritzy campground. I parked across the street and snuck into their showers. I felt like a boss, not gonna lie. Walked in, showered days worth of grime off myself and walked out. Right now I'm parked outside that "saloon" stealing their wifi. I'd go in, but it's too late to be drinking soda, which is all I would order. Theyre so nice there too, the bartender wouldnt even let me pay for my soda when I left last night, so I just got a few hours of free AC, free "pop," and free wifi. John, you would just love all the people here. They just want to chat all the time, and they all have really cool custom campers! Ive gotten so many ideas. Tomorrow morning is my last day here before I move on. I'm going to do one last hike that I missed that looked really cool, steal one more shower, and then head out. I'll miss it here, I fear that I may have hit my favorite place on the first stop! My next destination is Yellowstone National Park. I'm giving myself a full day to drive and relax. If there's a city in between or something, I may stop and spend a day there. I think if I do one park after another I'll be too exhausted to enjoy them all! So I'm going to take my time a little bit. I'll be sleeping at exit 32 tonight, I think. Or maybe outside a motel. At a certain angle I can fully extend in the bench of the car so it's actually quite comfortable!"