#these idiots are a bit complicated tho | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

Visit Blog

Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.

Fun Fact

Tumblr.com rank in the US is 25.

#these idiots are a bit complicated tho

scarefox · 25 days

Text

Sometimes I feel like, the way people talk about japanese BL, half the BL fandom forgot / doesn't know that "The Pornographer" series exists. But to be fair it kind of was ahead of its time?

It's mature, with flawed, struggling characters, very spicy. One of the best jBLs imo. In terms of plot, cinematography, acting and chemistry. But you need to have a heart for weird, struggling artist characters.

It has 2 seasons and 3 movies / specials.

"Kuzumi Haruhiko is an university student. One day, he causes a bicycle accident. The accident causes novelist Kijima Rio to break his arm. Kuzumi doesn't have insurance or money to pay Kijima for his injury. Kijima then asks Kuzumi to transcribe a story he is writing. Kuzumi is surprised to learn the story is obscene." (Kijima is a porn novelist)

youtube

Watch order:

Pornographer: The Novelist (season 1)

Pornographer: Mood Indigo (season 2 prequel, contains spoiler for s1 that's why I rec to watch it after s1, which is also how it aired)

Pornographer: Spring Life (sequel short movie)

Pornographer: Playback (sequel movie)

Pornographer: Continued Spring Life (sequel short epilogue)

It's on GagaOOLala... except for Playback... well that's dumb.

(but yall know where to find stuff)

#these idiots are a bit complicated tho #bl drama #japanese bl #ql drama #the novelist #the pornographer #lgbtq #queer media #Youtube

102 notes · View notes

shooting-love-arrows · 5 months

Note

I might be cringe-

How about a detective/journaliest reader entering a haunted library or mental hospital or anything? Where the yandere is actually the one who ordered reader's boss to send them there? Or just knew how to pop reader's interest

Dear @mil-vc,

It's not cringy at all. Here's my interpretation of your request. Have a nice day!

@shooting-love-arrows

𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄! 𝐆𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐓 [𝐎𝐂] who lures their darling into their trap

PAIRING: 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞! 𝐆𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭 [𝐎𝐂] x [JOURNALIST] reader (gender not mentioned/impled/specified) Tw. another floating red flag, obsessive/creepy behavior, possession, murder (?), rituals, supernatural activities, it takes a darker turn so yeah…

𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

Who became so desperate to interact with you face to face that one day, they decided to possess your idiotic boss. Their plan was carefully thought over and had a clear goal at the end of it. The way there was long, complicated and tedious. It took a lot of energy and effort since they were tied by invisible strings to the place they died. However they knew it would be worth it in the end. After all it was for you. And once they succeeded? 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞! 𝐆𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭 decided to use it to its fullest. It was a once in a lifetime chance.

“I summon thee, hear me. I am in need to borrow the body of a mortal. Hear me!” After the last word left their mouth, 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞! 𝐆𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭 were blinded by the light. When they opened them again, they successfully possessed the body of your boss.

Who lures you into their trap. After the possession, 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞! 𝐆𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭 had no time to waste. Since they acquired quite a lot of knowledge about you. Being a journalist, they knew you treasure your job, were exceptionally good at it and you were a curious little thing too. Taking into consideration all those facts, you basically gave them a solution on the golden plate. But to you, it came as a surprise that your (possessed) boss gives you a job to investigate the supposed haunted gothic mansion.

You shifted uncomfortably in your seat. Your (possessed) boss' stare was unnerving to say the least. His beady eyes were glued to you since the moment you entered his office. You cleared your throat, cutting the awkward silence. You ‘boss’ snapped out of the trace and straightened his back. “I want you to investigate a supposed haunted mansion.” ‘he’ informed you and gave you a thin folder of documents related to the said place. “Our source said that something suspicious is taking place there.” Of course, you accepted it.

Who wants to eagerly welcome you in their 'humble' abode. Well, as much as ghosts can welcome their guests. The gothic mansion might be a bit dusty, the time of its splendor long since passed but still! It was enormous and what matters is what it can become in the future. And his welcome tactic? They like to spook you. It's all harmless tho! Shifting objects around. Imitating sounds like footspes or whispers in your ears. Playing with your flashlight. Those all are little tricks and parts of their personality from where 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞! 𝐆𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭 were still alive.

You stepped into another endless hall of the supposed haunted mansion, shining your flashlight around. “Ah!” You jumped back when a wooden chair was tipped back and fell. Like a ripple in the water, the echo of its fall carried around the empty halls. Your heartbeat began to pick.. The longer you stayed there, the more paranoid you became. Something just wasn’t right with this place…Scratch that, everything was wrong with it. Then your flashlight started to flicker. “Oh no, no, no.” You started to visibly panicked and began hitting your only source of light. You even turned to praying to let it work properly again. Thankfully it seemed to work because the flickering stopped. You sighed in relief just as a violent shiver racked your body. You began to regret taking that task. Meanwhile 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞! 𝐆𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭 grinned playfully and moved their fingers along your spine.

Who decided to trap you in the said place by manipulating energy to tie to the place. It was another step of their plan.𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞! 𝐆𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭 had you right where they wanted you to be and everything was prepared early. Slowly but surely, they began to lead you into the direction of a hidden chamber which was a magic room. And when you crossed its threshold, your fate was sealed.

“I hope you’ll understand what I’m about to do is for your own good. For us to be happy for all of the eternity.”

Who processes to possess you and finalize the ritual. Since they were in the place they were tied to, their powers and energy was much stronger so possessing you came more easily to them. Unfortunately, they couldn’t fully appreciate being in your body. This step was their least favorite part of their plan but it needed to be done. 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞! 𝐆𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭 steered your body in the middle of the room and started muttering incantations. They reached for the ancient dagger laying by your feet and raised it to be at the same level as your beating heart. With the last words of an ancient language leaving their mouth, they drove the weapon into your heart. The ritual was completed.

“Welcome home, love.” The news about your dissapearance ended up being on the cover of the very newspaper you worked for.

All of the published posts on this account/blog belongs to @shooting-love-arrows. I do not consent to my works being: translated, stolen, published or reposted on this and other sites. Likes, reblogs, comments are highly appreaciated. Thank you.

314 notes · View notes

albondiguilla007 · 1 month

Text

So:

I mostly opened this account to talk about Harry Potter with other fans. I need potterhead friends I’m begging you, take pity on me.

Stuff I’m constantly thinking about:

✨ We don’t judge here, every ship is welcome

✨But if it’s gay better

✨ I love the golden trio, I won’t stand for ANY kind of SLANDER, not of Ron, not of Hermione, least of all Harry. They are human, and they are good friends with flaws who love each other very much. They are growing up, grieving, taking care of each other and learning about life. I adore their friendship, and fanfics that give a realistic portrayal of their relationship will always be a soft spot of mine.

✨ Hot take: If you have any fanfic recommendation where they are romantically together (the three of them, as in an actual relationship), I would appreciate it very much

✨ Drarry (please) 🥵

✨ Wolfstar (they are my parents) 🐾🌒

✨ Jegulus (depending on the mood) Jegulily thooo 👀

✨ Tomarry? I’M A SLUT FOR TOMARRY (please I need more time travel fanfic recommendations) Some very good ones tho:

Terrible, but Great.

you belong to me (i belong to you).

Of Kings, of Pawns, and of Men. (This one is not time trivel per se but its AMAZING I’m telling ya)

Wear me like a locket around my throat

(all of them are in ao3)

✨ My boy Harry is incredibly underrated on his own series. He is amazing, I love him, I wish him all the happiness in the world. WE NEED MORE FANFICS WHERE THEY PORTRAY ALL HIS MENTAL STRUGGLES AND GRIEVING PROCESSESS. (He’s gone through so much, I don’t buy the way canon just swept everything under the rug and moved on)

✨ Draco Malfoy is a power bottom and you can’t change my mind

✨ Support sophithil on insta

✨ Another soft spot of mine? Fanfics where Harry time travels to a time where his parents are alive or a different dimension all together.

To make it better

Devil’s White Knight

Across the universe

You’re somebody else

(all in ao3 except Across the universe, that’s a short story in fanfic.net)

Other recommendations

✨ My bedtime readings are hardcore Drarry smut with some very questionable dom/sub dynamics

✨ Canon Remus was a bit of a people pleaser with no personality, but I forgive him because fanon, obviously

✨Canon James Potter was a dick, but I forgive him too. He did change a bit after Hogwarts, but I keep hoping he would’ve matured more if he’d had the chance to grow up into an actual adult

✨ Aaron Taylor Johnson and every other version of James Potter is mine, no arguments

✨ NO SNAPE SLANDER. He is an amazing character, and a very complex one at that. He is not supposed to be a good person, but a complicated one with a gray set of values. Y’all do not understand that, and I’m tired of watching Marauders stans be so fucking hypocritical when it comes to him.

Crime and Punishment (an amazing severitus fic on ao3)

✨ August, Cardigan and Betty are about these three idiots (Lily, James and Regulus) and you can’t change my mind

✨ Here’s a Marauders playlist:

✨ my pinterest :)

68 notes · View notes

transmascaraa · 3 months

Note

HAAIII ME AGAIN had a new idea all of a sudden

OK SO HEAR ME OUT RIGHT. hcs with gaming, scara and uhhhmm. Blade hsr with autistic gn reader!?!2?1!2??! basically like reader tells them theyre autistic, how would the charas react? would they treat the reader any different? would their view of their s/o change???

IT LOOKS RLLY CUTE IN MY HEAD OK TRUDT

+ if it isnt too much im asking here, how theyd interact w reader when they go nonverbal bc theyre upset :3

THANK U MOOTIE ALSO HOPE UR SOING WELL!!!!

multiple characters headcannons!

you tell him that you're autistic.

characters: gaming, wanderer, blade x autistic!gn!reader

author's note: alright this one and might do one more tonight it's fucking 20 minutes till 1am lmao might do a few tmrw i hope i do lol ANYWAYSSS I'M DOING GOOD THANKS I HOPE YOU'RE DOING WELL TOO<33 LOVE THE REQQ

✧ Gaming

-so accepting fr. sweetheart. perfect bf. everything good.

-when you tell him he'd be so sweet and understanding frfr

-will literally sacrifice his whole being for you

-"you're autistic? that doesn't change anything, my dear!" he will love you eternally no joke.

-and when you get upset, you go nonverbal.

-so he spends hours trying to learn exactly what you mean by the gestures you use so thag he can help. he'll take it slow.

-he'll be patient with you.

-i promise.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

✷ Wanderer

-nobody knows if it's sass or sarcasm at this point.

-HE WOULD LOOK AT YOU AS IF YOU TOLD HIM THAT YOU LIKE SLEEPING WITH YOUR PILLOW ON THE WARM SIDE.

-but he'd definitely be understanding. don't trust his physical expressions.

-you'd tell him and he would say some shit like:

-"you're acoustic?" before you playfully hit him and scold him.

-throughout the whole thing, his smirk never leaves his face. fuck that idiot, sometimes, honestly.

-when you're upset tho, he's really fucking nice. it's a rare case that he ever acts nice but at times like these he knows the limit.

-nahida will teach him more about autism after you told him

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

๑ Blade

-eughhh he's a complicated guy

-not like he would show any type of much reaction if you told him he'd be like "okay and?"

-sitting down beside him and telling him.

-he'll listen, sure. he'll be understanding, i guess. but his face remains neutral

-"and how am i supposed to help?" maybe he hurts your feelings js like that sometimes he will apologize with night cuddles

-but overall, he would help you. even tho he'll say he wasn't being all that nice at all but you know that deep down you keep that little bit of happiness in him

-if you're upset and go nonverbal, he will try his best to understand you and help you calm down, taking it seriously. he's really good at it

-he just wants to make sure that you're okay, nothing else matters to him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i like this one

it's really good imo

i laughed my ass off while writing wanderer's one lmfaoo i hope you like it @chezsxapcake <3

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin headcanons #genshin impact headcanons #genshin fluff #hsr fluff #hsr #honkai star rail #hsr headcanons #honkai star rail headcanons #gaming x reader #gaming x you #wanderer x reader #wanderer x you #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche x you #blade x reader #blade x you #first time writing bladie i like it

135 notes · View notes

mysterycitrus · 4 months

Note

thoughts on dick grayson as a social worker re: his day job? i fully agree w ur thots re: dick grayson cop era = flop era, but was curious what u would think about other jobs that play into/interact w flawed and fucked systems

like i said in the other post, i think the investigative reporter angle works best for an arc about the bludhaven police, but there were some other interesting suggestions in the tags (working at a cop bar is also a fun angle). primarily, it gives dick an excuse to be at crime scenes, take photos, and be really annoying. it also gives him the opportunity to scout for more information with a legitimate excuse, without the baggage of being affiliated with the organisation he’s attempting to combat.

wrt other jobs tho — i am personally not a grayson fan, but i do think dick as a character would do very well on actual long term undercover missions, whether that be corporate espionage or an organisation ljke spyral. he’s a born performer, he’s very smart, and he’s very experienced at getting people to underestimate him, so it could be a really fun detective story. think fake identity, lots of sneaking, lots of investigative work. one of my primary issues with grayson was the lack of autonomy in dick becoming an agent in the first place, and that he was just like….. himself. i had a hard time suspending my disbelief.

i’d want him to go full hog — playing a character, and having him interact with people that he has complicated relationships with while undercover, like talia or slade. let him play up that idiot angle while quietly plotting in the background. he’s a really interesting character when he actually gets to investigate! i’d say his practise is different from the other bats, because so much of it relies what he can draw out of people by playing on their trust.

in saying that, i also like dick’s history of having civilian jobs that he does cause he likes them and he likes being around people. gymnastics coach is an obvious one, but like u said i think a physical therapy angle/aged care/trauma recovery would be something he’d enjoy. i think social work would be a bit too much tbh, considering the hours and workload, but it’s still very much in the right vein. he’d be tangibly helping people without the cape baggage. it’s very him.

#he’s my employed blorbo ❤️#dick grayson #nightwing #dc comics #the ask and the answer #im so sorry i totally missed the social worker but in ur ask 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

137 notes · View notes

these-things-illneversay · 2 months

Text

First Post regarding Tokka

(An unpopular opinion, maybe. Please don't be mean to me.)

I think I need to really get these words out of my head. I’ve been shipping Tokka since 2012 (I know, I was quite late to the party). I used to write fanfics and drew fanarts for a bit back in the day. Lately I’ve been drowning in Tokka feels again so why not catch up with the fandom, right?

I created an account on tumblr this time and dived right in to Tokka fanfics and headcanons and you know what? I did not quite LIKE it. No hate to all the writers ofc, all the Tokka stories was beautifully written, and I enjoyed THE ANGST. But, after a while, I can't help but feel... sad reading all these stories potraying Tokka as this bittersweet angst-filled story to comply with the canon and have Suyin as Sokka’s child. The stories usually being either:

1. Toph not believing in marriage and was too stubborn to change, which hurt Sokka a lot

2. Toph having a one-night stand after a blowout between them which led to her not knowing who the real father is, or

3. Toph not wanting to ruin Sokka’s career as a Councilman or Chief of the Southern Tribe.

All of which, are… sad and doesn't sit quite right with me because I think if there’s anyone who can get through to Toph, it’s Sokka. She wouldn’t have left him hanging, separated him from his child, and live life alone!? Also, would it be possible for the Gaang to not notice a SokkaxToph's lovechild and not say anything about it?

If they were to be a couple, Sokka and Toph would be OUT THERE LAUGHING LIKE THE TWO IDIOTS THEY ARE, WREAKING HAVOC EVERYWHERE THEY GO AND BE HAPPY! They’d be silly, they’d enjoy each other’s presence and they’d always support each other no matter how hard things get. Maybe I just missed the cute shit, who knows.

In order for Tokka to be canon then it would imply that their relationship as a couple didn’t work out (enough for Toph to hide Sokka’s identity as Su’s biological father, which doesn’t make sense). The fact that none of Toph’s daughters know the identity of their fathers do imply that none of Toph’s relationships went well (which pisses me off because Toph deserves a happy ending. She deserves an arc too. She deserves someone who can get through to her and show her that can be vulnerable without getting hurt. I secretly wished LoK never happened because of what they did to her and Lin. Oh no, don’t even get me started on Lin.)

I guess what I’m trying to say is: Maybe this time I just want to enjoy Tokka as fanon. The silly, happy Tokka. I love how strong their bond is, their silly banters, how they always have a lot more fun whenever the other is around, how they are always ready to protect each other, and how supportive their overall relationship is. I think that is beautiful, if not the most beautiful form of relationship there is. If they can be happy like that, until the end of their lives, without all the other complications, then that’s what I’d prefer them to be – best friends.

I still ship Tokka tho, in my own little version of what their alternate universe would be. Happy. Silly. With their own little mudbabies. Not like this. Never like this. They don’t have to be canon.

By the way, Hello! Rin here! And tell me what you think!

#tokka #sokka x toph #toph x sokka #toph beifong #sokka #toph #atla #avatar the last airbender #thesethingsillneversay

34 notes · View notes

stinkyme · 1 year

Note

Hi I hope you're doing okay <33 But hear me out on Nikolai smut + fluff at the end.h He's so hot pls I've been CRAVING for his fanfics alot recently but feel free to ignore this request tho if u don't wanna write it it's fine 💆

Hello dear, I am doing good, thank you!! I hope you are doing good as well and treating yourself with kindness!! :) <3

Okay, so I combined your request with this one since both were Nikolai related :) I didn't want to go all the way out given the fact I don't know your preferences, nor of the other person who requested, so I think this one is fairly tame :) <3 I hope you like it and enjoy! :D

CW/TW: NSFW, fem!reader, masturbation!reader, Nikolai using his ability a bit :3, vaginal fingering, reader faking an orgasm (I promise it will make sense), loud sex, hair pulling (Nikolai receives), slight spanking, slight degrading, neck licking/biting, multiple orgasms, creampies, fluff in the end, if I forgot anything please let me know! :)

I hope this isn't too complicated (in the start when he uses his ability), I didn't want to make it too plain, I am quite insecure about this one :") but let's hope for the best! :)

I apologize for any mistakes in advance! :)

I think I will have to remind you || Nikolai Gogol x Reader

Nikolai and you haven't seen each other in almost a month now due to his responsibilities and missions he had to finish for Decay of Angels. He wasn't supposed to come back for at least one more week, making you miss him even more just from thinking about it. You were laying down on your shared bed that felt emptier and colder than ever. You closed your eyes for a bit, trying to get yourself together but your head was filling up with nothing else but thoughts that contained immense worry and loneliness. You sighed out, closing your eyes tightly and trying to think about anything else as you felt a sudden poke on your cheek.

"What the-" you jumped at the unexpected sensation as loud giggles filled your ears making your heart flutter as your whole body became warm from excitement.

"Where should I be?" you heard Nikolai's theatral voice but you couldn't see him anywhere in the room, trying to figure it out.

"Just come out, you idiot." you told him softly, gaze still flying over the room as your whole body kept filling up with excitement.

"It's not fun that way, angel." he was teasing, placing a quick kiss on your cheek unexpectedly and making you turn around in that direction only to be met with an empty room once again. You squint your eyes, slowly gazing over the room and swiftly jumped and opened the closet, trying to surprise him.

"I am not that predictable, darling." his lips gently brushed on your ear, soft whispers followed by his warm breath making you shiver.

"You always spoil surprises, come on." your voice was growing to be slightly impatient as your gaze kept flying over the room, trying to look for at least one clue where he was hiding.

"Did you miss me?" he ignored you, softly whispering in your ear once again making your whole body grow tingles as you turned around in his direction only to be met with empty room once again. You felt something slowly move up your back, quickly realizing it's his fingers. He was moving them at an agonizingly slow pace, your whole body tingling.

"Yes, I did. Come out already, I want to see you!" impatience was obvious in your voice meanwhile only responses from Nikolai were faint giggles. He started dragging one of his fingers down your spine making you shiver. He was trailing down and as soon as he reached the edge of your pants suddenly the whole movement stopped getting you slightly confused as you were looking around the room.

"How about you take your clothes off for me?" he whispered in your ear once again leaving you startled.

"How about you do it yourself?" you were teasing back as his lips disappeared once again.

"How many times do I have to tell you that it's not fun that way, darling?" he replied, soft giggles filling up the room.

"Perhaps you need a bit of help…" he trailed off, his hand suddenly undoing your bra under your shirt. You scoffed as you started taking your shirt off, swiftly pulling it over your head. You dropped the shirt on the ground as you let your bra slide down your arms, dropping it on the ground next to the shirt. Your eyes were still gazing over the room, trying to figure out where Nikolai was hiding but you realized even if you knew it would be pointless given his ability so you decided to switch the rules. You put your hands over your breasts and started sensually massaging them, letting out soft moans of pleasure. You moved your hands and now were gently twirling your nipples between your fingers, still letting out soft moans as Nikolai kept silent. You started moving your hands down your waist and further down over your tummy reaching the edge of your pants. You undid the button and the zipper, slowly rolling your pants down your legs, getting to your ankles and stepping out of your pants. You kicked them to the side, turning around and leaning forward, sliding your panties down your hips and thighs, exposing your pretty cunt and ass for Nikolai's eyes wherever they might be. You stepped out of your panties and as you were walking towards the bed your eyes kept tracing all over the room looking for any sign of awfully silent Nikolai. He was silent only to see what you have in plan, his little smirk growing wider from the place where he was, eyes still lustfully observing you in the room. You laid down on the bed, completely naked as you softly spoke.

"Ah, it seems like I will have to do it myself..again. If only Nikolai was here.." you trailed off, putting two of your fingers on your tongue and slowly moving on your needy clit as you started drawing small, wet circles. You let out soft laugh out of pleasure, further teasing Nikolai as you kept playing with yourself. You were letting out soft moans as you inserted two of your fingers inside your aching cunt, gently pumping them in and out of you. This was going on for a bit and you could hear soft giggles in your ear as you suddenly felt your hand being moved out of your cunt. Nikolai's presence was contained only out of his lips being pressed next to your ear and his hand that was holding your wrist above your head.

"I think that was enough of a show from you." he whispered out, his warm breath melting in your skin and sending tingles down your spine. You could feel his other hand slowly sliding down your thigh getting closer and closer to your dripping pussy. He softly brushed his fingers over your clit and inner lips making you let out a dim whimper. He started slowly circling on your clit with two of his fingers, completely covering every sensitive spot and making you gasp out in pleasure, his cold fingers always felt much better than yours, especially now after being completely deprived of his touch for so long. You closed your eyes, hips quivering as you were enjoying all of the sensations he provided for your clit. He slided two of his fingers down, leaving your clit alone and teasing your entrance, inserting his fingers only to the line of first joints. He was keeping them in one place as you kept clenching around nothing, desperate for him to move. He could feel slight pressure from your muscles, smiling slyly next to your ear. Suddenly his whole face appeared out of the portal completely shifting your attention as he used the moment to push his fingers completely inside you making you moan out sharply at sensation. He curled them up slightly and started fucking you with his fingers, relentlessly pumping them them in and out of you, eyes rolling back as you were trying to look at him. He was giggling teasingly, his eyes half lidded as he spoke.

"I can do this all day, what about you? Can you handle it?" he squeezed your wrist as his fingers kept pressing your sensitive spot reminding you that he has no hands left to play with himself. You were whimpering out as his fingers kept moving in and out of you, placing his thumb swiftly on your clit and simultaneously pressing your g-spot and drawing circles on your swollen clit. Your mind was hazy but you wanted to use this opportunity to tease him further knowing he will edge you.

"I, ah-, am close. Please don't stop." you were purposefully clenching your cunt around his fingers as he suddenly appeared on top of you, his movement completely still. He was looking at you with an expression of slight anger as well as curiosity, his gaze piercing but eyes half lidded still.

"You are just being a dirty slut now." he exclaimed through a cunning tone, his lips parted after he finished his sentence.

"After all this time…" he was slowly leaning in, his lips painfully close to your ear as his body was pressing into yours.

"...you really think I can't tell when you cum? Hm? This is your idea of a warm welcome?" his voice was cunning, sending shivers down your spine. You were silent, eyes slightly widening as he continued.

"Do you know how much I missed you? And to tease and offend me like this…" he clicked his tongue, voice lingering with a sly tone built in it.

"No..I-" you were about to try and find an excuse but Nikolai swiftly cut you off.

"I think I will have to remind you then." he said in a lowkey sadistic tone, pulling away from your body and standing next to the bed as he started taking his clothes off quickly. He exposed his sturdy body to you as your eyes filled with admiration and neediness. His cock was painfully hard, almost touching his defined abs.

"Remind me..?" you suddenly got out of trance as he got back, swiftly moving and positioning you in a doggy position.

"How it feels to cum with me darling, obviously." he exclaimed playfully as a sudden spank on your ass made you gasp out. He put both of his hands on your ass cheeks and was slowly squeezing them, spreading them alongside with your cunt and observing with lustful eyes. He watched your inner lips slowly separate as he kept playing with your ass. He moved one of his hands on his cock, lining it up with your wet cunt. He slowly started pushing his cock inside of you making both of you moan out loudly as you were both so needy for each other. You arched your back more as your chest area was resting on the mattress giving Nikolai easier access. He put his hands on your hips, completely wrapping them with his palms as he pushed his cock completely inside your cunt, his pelvic area kissing your ass. Both of you gasped out as he started slowly moving, your pussy feeling too tight around his cock as you were apart for some time. He cursed under his breath, a soft giggle following afterwards as he moved his hands and covered your ass and partly back of your thigh. He spread them to stretch out your cunt more easily, sudden feeling of wideness and his cock easily moving inside of you made you whimper out. Nikolai's lips curled into a sly smirk as he kept moving his hips, this time faster than before and continuously pressing your sensitive spots inside. His balls were slapping your clit with each thrust making it more sensitive as you were already quite stimulated from before. Nikolai moved his hands next to your face and one next to the back of your head as he leaned his upper body closer to yours, unceasingly thrusting inside of you. Both of you were moaning loudly as your pussy kept clenching around him making him leak whip of precum inside of your drooling cunt. He placed a soft kiss on your back, his sharp breath sending shivers down your spine as his skin kept smacking into yours. You were rolling your eyes, a small amount of drool leaking down your lips as you kept them parted, mind completely hazy from his cock filling you up and stimulating your g-spot persistently. He sneaked one of his hands on your breast, squeezing it quickly as he started moving it down your tummy, reaching your cunt. He started playing with your clit making you sharply moan and clench around his cock making Nikolai whimper into the skin of your back. He was circling on your clit as he kept eagerly thrusting inside of you, his cock sliding in and out easily now. Nikolai was panting, mind too hazy that he forgot what he was even offended about, for now at least, as your pretty sharp moans kept filling up his ears. You could feel your orgasm quickly building up inside you, drooling more precum around Nikolai's hard cock making him whine out as he kept his pace on your clit as well as inside your needy cunt. He sped up his pace, vigorously thrusting inside you as his cock started twitching from your wet, clenching cunt. It threw you over the edge and suddenly intense heat filled up your lower tummy as you were getting louder, your orgasm finally bursting inside of you. You were panting out and letting out broken moans as Nikolai started choking out whimpers mixed with satisfied giggles as you were coating his cock. You gripped the mattress harshly, your orgasm so intense it made a moan get stuck inside of your lungs as you shut your eyes hardly. Your whole body was shaking and Nikolai just kept going, making it even more intense as moans finally escaped your lungs and filled up Nikolai's ears. You were letting out sharp moans and whimpers as your orgasm was slowly melting away, Nikolai's pace unchanged and making you slightly overstimulated. He was whimpering out loudly, practically gasping for air as he kept fucking you intensely. He swiftly moved his hand away from your cunt, leaving your swollen clit alone and spanked your ass one more time making you twitch.

"I missed, ah-, you so fucking much." he was whimpering out in a high pitched tone as he moved his upper body away from yours, hands gripping your hips as he started pulling them towards him to meet his thrusts. You were gripping the matters, his hips slamming into yours without a break resulting in little tears filling up the corners of your eyes due to intense pleasure.

"I missed you too." you said quickly as your sentence got cut off by your own moans as Nikolai started thrusting even faster than before. He could feel his orgasm was close but he was nowhere near done yet. Nikolai's fingernails sank in your soft skin as he started whining loudly, voice getting slightly raspier.

"Fuck..yeah. Ah, fuck." he was cursing out loudly as his body started shaking, orgasm few thrusts away from coming. You could feel his cock keenly throbbing inside of you making you whimper as he finally reached his orgasm, almost as intense as yours, messing up his movement as a whip of cum filled you up. He was slowing down his thrusts, both of you panting out loudly as he was coming down from his high. Nikolai thrusted one last time, fucking his cum inside of you and quickly pushed your hips down, making you lie on your side. You moved, laying on your back as he positioned himself between your legs.

"Not reminded yet, huh? What a greedy creature you are." he was teasing, breathless as he started stroking his cock, making it hard for you once again. You smiled slyly at him as he lined his cock with your dripping entrance, sliding it inside easily. He quickly started thrusting, this time a bit slower than before. Both of you were moaning, eyes low and lickerish as you pulled him in by his braid making him break his moans by whimpering out sharply. His face was close to yours, two of you exchanging needy gazes as your lips quickly met. Nikolai's hand was gently tracing the outline of your waist as your warm tongues met, syncing in perfect pace. He moaned loudly and needily inside your mouth as he started thrusting faster, eager for more friction. You let out a whimper that was muffled by his kiss as your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him in more. Two of you were practically panting inside each other's mouth as his hips kept slamming into yours. Your cunt started clenching around him making him break the kiss. He moved his lips on your neck, gently licking it as your moans kept making his mind race.

"Fuck darling, I really missed you so badly." he whispered out in a broken tone, placing a gentle kiss on the area he was licking just a moment ago. He started gently sucking on the same area making you tremble as you wrapped your legs around his hips loosely. You moved your hands away from his neck, your fingernails sinking into his upper back and slowly dragging down, leaving red marks behind. Nikolai sharply pulled away from your neck, a loud moan escaping his throat as he sped up his movement, his cock persistently pressing and stimulating sensitive spots of your cunt making you dig your nails deeper in his back. He choked out a giggle mixed with a whine, both of you shamelessly loud. Your pussy kept tightening around his cock, desperate for more friction and another orgasm. Nikolai caught on it, his cock throbbing in response as he pulled away from you, still thrusting. He put both of your legs on his shoulders, his body pressing them into yours as he started thrusting more precisely, making one quick thrust and taking a pause before the next one. You could feel his cock deeper inside you like this, each thrust making you moan out loudly.

"Oh yeah. Just like that please." you exclaimed quickly, practically whining out the first part of your sentence. Nikolai's cock twitched inside of you as he could feel your cunt pulsating around him. He moved his hand below your tummy, resting his fingers on your bikini area and placing his thumb on your needy clit. He spread your legs by putting one of them down and gently pushing it apart with his other hand as he started thrusting faster inside you, his thumb moving in a pace he knew you loved the most. As soon as he sped up his thrusting, both of you started moaning out loudly. You could feel the tip of his cock relentlessly pressing your g-spot as his thumb kept reaching and stimulating your whole clit. Your cunt was clenching and tightening around his pulsating cock bringing him closer to his orgasm.

"Fuck Y/N." he cursed out in a whiny tone. He kept up his pace, vigorously and unceasingly thrusting inside of you as his thumb did wonders on your clit, your whole body was trembling as another wave of tingling heat filled up your tummy, moments away from your orgasm. You were whimpering out loudly as you finally reached your orgasm for the second time, throwing Nikolai over the edge at the same time as your cunt quickly started leaking cum around his sensitive cock, both of you shamelessly and ear-piercingly moaning and whimpering. Both of you were letting out quick remarks that were containing "oh yeah", "fuck", "fuck yeah", Nikolai's tone more high pitched than yours. Nikolai's cum filled you up once again making you gasp out from the sensation as you were breathing quickly and sharply. He let out a mellow, sharp whimper as he was calming down from his orgasm, moving his thumb away from your clit and slowly pulling his cock out of your dripping cunt. He placed your other leg to the side, letting his body fall on top of yours making you yelp out as he started snuggling into your chest. Both of you were finally calming down, your breathing coming back to normal. You tangled your fingers inside your hair as you observed his peaceful face. Nikolai's eyes were closed, a little smile on his face as his hands gently rested on your ribs.

"It feels like it has been years. I missed you." he whispered out, placing a soft kiss on your breast making you smile softly.

"Oh, I was talking to them but it's nice seeing you as well." he said in a playful tone and turned his face towards you as you narrowed your eyebrows, gently slapping his head. Nikolai just smiled as he moved away from you, leaving you slightly confused. He went to his coat, hand moving inside of it as he let the tip of his tongue out, eyes squinting as he was looking for something. He took out a knife making you raise your eyebrows at him. He was just giggling in response as he threw it back inside, finally finding what he was looking for. He took out a little box and came back to you. He handed a box, it was completely black and shaped like a long rectangle.

"Hm…" you let out a soft sound as you opened the box, only to see a beautiful necklace that had a little dove figure in the middle.

"Nikolai..this is beautiful." you exclaimed in awe, your eyes looking at it with nothing but softness and appreciation.

"It would look more beautiful around your neck, darling." he replied in a gentle tone, taking the necklace out of the box and placing it around your neck. He went behind you and with one quick click sound locked the necklace. You looked down on it, your fingers gently twirling the figure in between them.

"I am sorry I didn't get you anything love, I didn't know you would come back earlier." you said in an apologetic tone as Nikolai quickly pushed you on the bed, his body on top of yours once again.

"What a pity...you can cuddle me then." he said confidently, making you laugh softly as you nodded, placing your hands on his marked back, gently moving your fingertips over them.

"Also, that necklace looks even more beautiful on you than I imagined." he said in a soft tone, eyes closing as your loving movement made him get sleepier and calmer which was unusual for him but it always made your heart warm. You felt your cheeks get warmer from his compliment.

"I love you, Kolya." you let out faintly as you squeezed him into a hug. He smiled, quickly moving his head towards yours.

"I love you too, Y/N." he replied gently and sleepily, leaning in and placing a soft kiss on your lips. He returned to his previous position, head resting on your chest as your touch felt more calming than ever, two of you spending the rest of the day relaxing and making up for the time you were apart.

The End :) <3

I hope you liked and enjoyed this! :) <3

Thank you for your love and support so far, it really means the world to me! :D <3

Huge kisses on the forehead for everyone :3 <3

#nikolai gogol x reader smut #nikolai gogol x reader #nikolai gogol smut #nikolai gogol x yn #nikolai gogol x yn smut #nikolai gogol bsd smut #nikolai gogol bsd #bsd smut #bungo stray dogs smut

282 notes · View notes

thepaintedlady00 · 8 months

Text

Nightshade

Chapter 20 | Chapter 22

Chapter 21: Interlude - The Sinner

TW: some morning fluff, lots of nervous tension and both our idiots knowing they need to talk, language, mentions of smoking, minor feelings of abandonment and frustration and anger, Jake's not in a good mood this chapter, huge Howard icks this chapter, some stalkerish behavior, Someone's Simone, complicated family dynamics, mentions of drugs and alcohol, Jake's also a bit jealous kinda, breaking and entering, non graphic depictions of masturbation, non graphic mentions of illegal porn and rape, some tragic backstory and bonding, depictions of violence and anger, controlling feelings, the idiots finally have a talk (not the one y'all hoped tho) and of course some closing fluff.

Okay y'all, this chapter goes quick and there's a lit going on! Some topics are pretty heavy so if you need to skip please do, I'll be more than happy to offer anyone a condensed summary if they need it. As always enjoy!

Jake wasn't a morning person. He never had been. The very thought of getting up earlier than ten - nine if he was really pushing it - made him want to physically groan and grumble. It was the sunlight that woke him that morning. Hemingway had shoved his curtains to the side just enough for the magnified reflection of the too early morning sun to blind him.

Blinking a few times, he tried to roll, intending to bury his head beneath his pillow and go right back to sleep, but a solid weight pressed into his left side and stilled him. It took a minute for him to blink the sleepy haze from his eyes enough to recognize the halo of soft hair that spilled across his shoulder and pillow. Red hair.

Lena.

This is a dream, he thought to himself. It was always a dream… It had to be a dream. Then that disbelief - that tired urge to groan and grumble vanished, replaced by his mind playing back the events of last night. Just seconds after being rudely woken up, Jake was assaulted by the full brunt of the truth. This wasn't a dream.

Lena had spent the day with him running errands. She'd admired his apartment, played with their dumb cat, and then entertained his impulsive and rather invasive photoshoot. He'd felt her come on his fingers, heard her begging and desperate repetition of the words that made his heart hammer in his chest. "I want you."

Holy fuck. Jake forced saliva down his dry throat, unable to take his eyes off her peaceful, sleeping face and how fucking good she looked in his shirt. This isn't a dream. His chest rose and fell, lifting her head and all that red hair with it. This is real.

Part of him felt so silly and childish for getting this worked up over a girl in his bed. Jake had had plenty of girls in his bed. But he'd never had this girl there. As he tentatively settled back into his bed, hands guiding along the soft skin of Lena's body, he relinquished total control to the other part of him. The part that told him to savor this moment. The part that felt so entirely complete holding this girl in his arms.

Jake couldn't go back to sleep, not while his entire being hummed and that damn smell of her cherry perfume mingled perfectly with the scent of his shampoo. So, Jake settled beside her, shifting just enough to see her face more clearly. His fingers carefully tucked her hair behind her ear, dancing over her cheek. He drank in the sight of her nose scrunching up and the sleepy mumbles she made as she buried her face in him.

God, she's so beautiful, he thought, eyes dragging down the length of her. The blankets had been shoved down, and his shirt had ridden up, exposing her hips. The overwhelming need to feel her skin beneath his palms overcame him, only satiated once his hand settled on her hip and pulled her into him. He closed his eyes for a second, smiling as she moved again, her arm winding around his middle, nails gently digging into his back as she settled.

It didn't matter what she was wearing or what she was doing. Jake knew then that Lena would always be the most beautiful girl he'd ever had in his bed. And, though he'd never admit it, he knew then and there that he didn't want another girl in his bed again. Just her. Only her.

He didn't know how long they lay there before she shifted again. And, quite honestly, as he watched Lena stretch and delicately flutter her lashes until the sleep faded from her green eyes, he didn't care. Jake was sure she could hear his heart hammering in his chest as her lips curved into a still-tired smile and the soft whisper of her voice rolled across his skin. "Hi."

"Hi," he replied with a chuckle, lifting his hand to brush the hair from her face once again. Her cheeks turned rosy, and that smile widened. Beautiful. Dumbly, he smiled back, repeating the word as his mind erased everything else but her. "Hi."

Her giggle echoed between them. Her nose scrunching as she moved closer, bringing her hand up to his cheek, fingers tapping against it for a moment before gently pressing her lips to his. Lena was soft, maybe a little half asleep, but still, she consumed him entirely with just one tiny, impossibly soft kiss. As she pulled away, she said the word again, a light teasing that just made him fall even more, "Hi."

Jake had to remind himself to breathe - he had to remind himself to do anything else but kiss her again. So, instead, he brought his fingers to her temple and asked, "How's your head feeling? Figured you'd have one hell of a hangover."

"It's not that bad," Lena insisted, her eyes fluttering shut and a content noise rumbling through her throat as he massaged her head. When she opened them again, his heart skipped a beat. "Sorry about that, by the way."

He chuckled at her ridiculous habit of apologizing for everything. "Don't worry about it, princess. You're a pretty fun drunk."

Watching her roll her eyes and scoff at him, Jake held back a smirk. "You're just saying that 'cause I basically threw myself at you."

"That did give me quite the ego boost," he admitted, finally grinning ear to ear. "But, it was a good night."

"It was a really good night."

It would have been better if I'd fucked you properly, he thought, imagining how good it would have felt to feel her… Really, truly feel her. Forcing his lips to remain neutral, Jake stumbled on his words, "So… I…" I want you to stay. "What now?"

"You seem flustered." She replied smugly, sitting up and leaning over his chest with an exaggerated look of shock and a fake gasp. "Am I your first?"

Jake laughed, resisting the urge to respond with equal smugness. He sat up, hands holding onto her, keeping her chest pressed to his, bringing them face to face. His eyes focused on her plump lips, the need to kiss her until they were both sick of it filling him with a tingled sensation. "Don't let it go to your head, princess."

Her eyes sparkled playfully. "So I am your first. That's cute of you."

"I've had plenty of women spend the night," he finally replied. "I'm just not used to them staying for breakfast the next day."

She bumped his nose with her own and continued teasing him. "What makes you think I'm staying for breakfast?"

God… "You're still here, aren't you?"

"Oh, come on, pretty boy! You gotta ask me properly." She pushed out her bottom lip, a silent plead for him to play along, but also one that made his grip on her tighten as the need to have her only consumed him more.

Nodding his head, he gave her the exact answer she wanted, "Lena, would you like to stay for breakfast?"

Her soft hum made him shiver. "I'd love to."

Jake felt his body curling into hers, head dipping on a steady path toward her lips. But he forced himself to stop. He forced himself to remain in control of himself and his urges. If he kissed her now they wouldn't be leaving his bed… They wouldn't be able to have the discussion they needed to. So, he took a deep breath and squeezed her hips one last time before carefully moving her back and getting out of bed. "I, uh, don't know what I have that's edible."

"Got stuff for shitty eggs?" She asked, distractedly inviting Hemingway into her lap and scratching beneath his chin.

"Careful, my version of shitty eggs is actually shitty."

"If I can survive Patrick's attempt at eggs, I'm sure I can survive yours." She stood then, the golden glow of the sunlight making her look heaven-sent. He couldn't look away from her, eyes dragging down from her face to appreciate fully the view of her in nothing but his shirt. Fuck… She's too fucking perfect. "I'm gonna get dressed."

He nodded, pulling his mind out of the gutter and turning toward the kitchen. "You can shower if you need to. What's mine is yours."

"Thanks."

Jake stared blankly in the cupboard, feeling the goosebumps that climbed up his arms at the faint noise of her inhabiting his space so intimately. It was almost pathetic how easily worked up he was where Lena was concerned. It was almost sad how desperate he'd become.

All she needed to do was look at him, and his heart was skipping beats. Every sound, every word that came out of her mouth, had him captured in seconds. He would know her laugh, her voice… Even the sound of her breathing in the dark. Jake would be able to find her, feel her, even if every other sense was taken from him.

Jake knew Lena on a level he'd known no one else, and that simple, undeniable fact scared him. He wasn't new to sex. He wasn't new to casual dating. He wasn't even new to the idea of intimacy. All the years he'd had of practice or experience, it was useless when it came to this… When it came to her.

Simone had spent years trying to coach him through relationships. She'd put so much of her time and her kindness into trying to help him form some kind of bond outside of their own, and she'd failed every time. It was something he used to be grateful for. At least then, he knew he'd be alright with just her love. At least then, he knew Simone was enough. But now…

Hemingway purred at his feet lovingly but also bossily meowing at him. Food. Right. He grabbed the cat food from the cupboard, opened the can, and spooned the contents into the small cat dish. While the hairless thing ate, Jake stared at the bathroom door. He listened to the sound of his sink running and listened to the quiet sounds of Lena getting dressed. It was comforting… And unsettling all at once.

She was so close. She was in his home, his space, touching his things… Lena was seeing him as he was. Broken and desperate and selfish. It made him want to push her away, to craft some lie or hurtful insult to get her out. Jake wanted to treat her as if she were no different from any of his other female visitors. But she was different. She was important… Special.

I can't lose this, he thought to himself, forcing any and all uncomfortable feelings deep down inside him. I can't fuck this up. He actively resisted the urge to self-destruct. Then and there, Jake took a deep breath, steeling himself and committing to the thought in his mind. He was going to talk to her. He was going to admit what he felt, and he was going to fight to keep this… Whatever it was in his life.

The doorknob started to turn. Nervous tension filled his gut, forcing his lips to seal shut and his body to throw itself across the kitchen. He opened a random cupboard, pretending to search as he listened to her approach. The feeling of her eyes roaming over his half-naked body made him feel hot as he turned his head to smile at her. His hand fumbled for the refrigerator handle. "I don't think I've got any eggs." His fridge was empty, save a half gallon of milk and some questionable Chinese food. "Or… Well, anything really."

Lena caught his gaze for a split second before she ducked her head, hiding her blushing cheeks as she fished through her bag. She was nervous, too. Shit, he cursed. This is really happening. He felt sick and excited. It was long overdue that they had this discussion. "I'm sure a man of your talents can figure something out. We could always go out somewhere, too. I'm not picky."

Jake looked at the fridge again, chuckling to himself. He wondered if he should start or if he should wait and let her. "Probably a good idea unless week-old Chinese food sounds appetizing to you."

He expected a quip or something, but Lena was quiet. Jake turned his head and looked at her, head still ducked, but her hands now trembling as she held her phone. He could see the quickened rise and fall of her back as she stared down, frozen. "Lena?"

She didn't respond to him. "Oh god…"

"Lena?" Closing the fridge door made her jump, looking up at him with uncertain, watering eyes. "Hey, you okay?"

"I forgot…" She mumbled, lips quivering and voice cracking. Before he had a chance to ask what she meant, she was gathering her things. "I… forgot."

"What?" She turned, a blur of red hair, and haphazardly gathered things, swinging his door open and starting to leave. "Lena, wait!"

He stood out in his hallway, shirtless, shoeless, and helpless as she practically ran away from him and down the stairs. "Fuck!" He cursed, slamming his door and running across the apartment to force his window open. The sidewalk was already crowded, but he could still make out her red hair as she wove between bodies, wiping her eyes and hastily moving as if her life depended on it. "Fuck!"

Jake slammed the window shut, pressing his head to it as the gut-dropping disappointment and anger replaced all the good that the morning had opened with. He was angry… Angry at her for leaving… Angry at himself for being dumb enough to just let her go. But, more than that, Jake was disappointed that he'd put off all he'd wanted to say. What are we? What is this? Do you feel the same soul-crushing want that I do?

He fucking hated mornings.

After setting Hemingway up for the night, Jake grabbed his bike and his leather jacket and headed to work. He held out hope that Lena would be more willing to talk to him about her sudden departure after having some time to work through whatever it was she needed to. But that hope was quickly snuffed out when he spent almost an hour in the alley and the kitchen waiting.

In the quiet of the locker room, he sent Lena a quick text, hoping she'd at least reply and let him know she was alright. Another hope was quickly put to rest when Will entered with the new girl, that too-good smile on his face as he showed her the locker next to his and wished her luck on her first day. Asshole, he thought bitterly to himself. Will didn't have any problems with his relationship so in Jake's mind he could get fucked.

The new girl waved and smiled at him nervously. "Guess we're neighbors."

Jake looked her up and down, nodding his head stiffly. "Guess so." He slammed his locker shut and brushed past her without another word.

Family meal felt emptier. Simone was off doing whatever needed doing, and Jake was stuck listening to everyone rave about their amazing nights. Jake's night topped all of them, but he couldn't exactly tell them that. Not that he'd wanted to anyway.

"Changelings," Howard started, voice ringing out with a low but very audible tone of disappointment. "Has anyone heard from Lena this morning?"

Sasha giggled to himself. "Has the Tiger finally clawed her way out of her cage?"

Heather rolled her eyes. "She's probably running late or something. She doesn't seem like the type to skip work on a whim."

"I dunno," Ari chimed in. "She's got that bad girl spark in her."

Howard just glared at Jake with a deep frown and stalked off. Once he was well out of earshot, Sasha leaned over. "Jakey looks extra grumpy today!"

Ari nodded, reaching over to poke his cheek. "Yeah, he does. Did you not get enough beauty sleep or what?"

His mind instantly recalled the night he'd had. The way Lena had looked in that red lingerie with the setting sun made her eyes and hair glow. He remembered how impossible it'd felt not to throw his camera and get on his knees for her whenever her face started to twist in pleasure. At that moment, it was like he was reliving that amazing, wonderful, too-good night. But then he felt Ari's finger poking his cheek, and it all came crashing down with the memory of Lena running out on him.

"Fuck off!" He hissed, slapping her hand away from him as he stood with his plate.

Sasha's eyebrows wiggled as he laughed. "Yikes!"

"Someone clearly woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning!" Ari yelled after him.

He ignored them for the most part, tossing his food into the trash and setting his plate in the bus tub that sat in front of the new hostess. She smiled at him, a blush creeping up her neck onto her cheeks, but Jake hardly noticed. His mind was too focused on Lena, on how good it felt waking up that morning and how shitty he felt now that it was over, and he still had no clue why.

Nicky kept any remarks he had to himself as they started prepping for the night, a thing Jake was grateful for. As he cut the garnishments, his mind and body raged inside him. Anger and frustration and confusion and everything in between roaring beneath his skin. He didn't know what to think, what to feel… He just knew it hurt somewhere.

Scott tapped him on the shoulder, discreetly staking some glasses. "Apparently, our Asian investor took a look at the building today."

"Yeah?" He asked though he couldn't have been less interested.

"Yeah, Red shot me a text a few minutes ago, letting me know it went well."

Jake shook his head, blood boiling inside him. "Did she?"

Scott gave him a look, one not unlike his usual one. "Try fuckin smiling for two minutes. This is good news."

He put on a clearly fake smile. "Yeah, whatever. Now get the fuck off my bar."

"Dickhead."

Once Scott was gone, Jake pulled his phone from his pocket and scoffed. No messages. The hurt knawed on inside his chest, twisting into an angry, resentful feeling as he pressed on and kept the mask of uncaring boredom intact. So she's got time to talk to Scott but can't bother replying to me? He knew it likely wasn't personal. He knew, realistically, that he'd done nothing wrong, but for whatever reason, Jake still felt like he'd somehow fucked it all up.

A neatly clipped pile of papers slapped onto the bar in front of him with a clean, manicured hand patting them. Simone offered him a wide smile. She looked good today, her hair neat, her lips red, and even her eyes seemed to have their normal glow back. "Good morning, my love."

"Morning," he replied thinly.

"Take these to Howard's office."

Jake scoffed at the documents, ones for the guest book. "Why don't you fuckin do it?"

Simone placed her hand on his, halting his slicing and meeting his eyes with a wider gaze. If she'd been anyone else, he would've thought she was crazy, but Jake knew this look. This was a warning. She'd found something. Simone slowly repeated herself, "Take these to Howard's office."

"Where do I put 'em?" He asked, taking the pages.

"Right-hand side, bottom drawer." She nodded her head. "Don't mess up his chair."

Jake had been in Howard's office many times before this. Usually, he'd be on the opposite side of his desk receiving a stern lecture, but today, it felt more serious. He rounded the desk, ignoring the stacks of papers and the little trinkets Howard surrounded his computer with. If it had been another day, a less serious situation, Jake would have messed with the manager's precious chair, but instead, he just shoved it out of the way and opened the drawer Simone had told him to.

A hot, consuming dread filled his chest at the sight of Lena's things stuffed inside. Her hairbrush, her bra, her shirt. For a minute, his thoughts ran wild, remembering how he'd found out about Tess and Howard. It was a similar feeling, but this time it felt so much worse. He almost slammed the drawer shut and resigned himself to the idea that he'd been duped by some backwaiter again, but then it all froze.

This is the shirt she lost… He realized. And that's the bra that got ruined by sauce. It slammed into him like a train, the realization that all the things Howard had tucked away were things Lena had misplaced over the months. She wasn't sleeping with Howard. She would never sleep with Howard. He was going through her things. Dread turned to rage in seconds.

Footsteps echoed down the hall, and Jake closed the drawer, fixed Howard's chair, and set the papers where they belonged. His body and mind were raging with sheer desire to pin the little manager to the wall and demand an explanation, but as he exited the office, Simone gave him a stern look and a shake of her head. He couldn't just attack Howard, he knew that, but fuck did he want to.

Service dragged on that night. Every second felt slower than it should have, but that might've just been Jake constantly checking the clock. He needed to get the hell out of here before he did something reckless. He needed to find Lena and tell her about what a creepy fuck Howard was. Every free moment he had, Jake was watching. Howard wasn't stupid, so he felt the bartender's intense glare, but the snake pretended like it didn't matter to him.

The new hostess was clumsy, tripping over her words and nervously greeting the guests. Howard compensated for her lack of experience with his own charming greetings. It was annoying and fake, just like he was. Nicky noticed his foul mood and his focus on Howard, but instead of trying to pry or take his mind off it, he simply put in an extra big smile and kept the guests from being too annoying.

It was relieving when the last guests left, and everyone finally settled into the seats around the bar. Normally, he'd feel relaxed, but he was just as tense as he'd been at the start of this shift from hell. As he and Nicky served everyone drinks, Jake felt Howard's stare. The tension between them was palpable as he gladly returned the look. It wasn't an odd interaction for them, but that night, Jake could see him for what he really was.

The cold eyes of 22West's manager were now filled with a predatory gleam whenever Jake looked at him. "Goodnight, Changelings."

Watching him leave, Jake felt tempted to follow him, even threaten him. But, he held his tongue and stiffly finished the shift drinks. When Simone finally stood from her table and casually made her way toward the back, he finished Heather's drink and turned.

Nudging Nicky, he nodded to the door. "I'm gonna change." In the locker room, Simone changed slowly, clearly waiting for him. He unbuttoned his shirt and sighed. "You obviously have an opinion, so just say it."

Simone's lips thinned. "I think this is proof enough that the two of them are more intimately acquainted than you thought."

Jake shook his head. "She wouldn't be fucking Howard."

"Jake," she hissed. "Please open your eyes! Ever since she started here, he's been doting on her. I know she's a Glover, but even in a nepotistic way, Howard's behavior is too much. He's dressing her up in fancy gowns and his dead wife's jewelry, for God's sake!" Composing herself, she placed a hand on his chest. "I know you're fond of her. I just… I don't want you to get blindsided by Howard and some backwater again."

He nodded, leaning in to press his head into hers for a moment. "I know."

Straightening up, she nodded again. "That's my opinion. Do what you will with it."

"Thank you, Simone."

"Goodnight. See you tomorrow, preferably on time."

"I know, I know."

He finished getting dressed, making sure he was the last person in the building before he snuck into Howard's office and emptied that drawer of Lena's things. Once that was done, he made his way to Ozzy's alone, hopefully, to find Lena and talk to her. They had too much to talk about. Howard. This morning. Their feelings. The rest could wait, he'd convinced himself. But the shit with Howard had to be addressed now.

Among the lights and music and dancing bodies, Jake searched for her red hair, her green eyes, or even her tiger tattoo, but she wasn't there. Fuck, he cursed, making his way to the bar. He'd expected to find Ozzy at least, but no, not even the big man was in tonight. What the fuck is going on today?

Dom stood at the edge of the bar, watching him with furrowed brows. For a minute, Jake was convinced that the biker somehow already knew what was going on. Patrick clapped a hand on Jake's shoulder, the haze in his eyes making it clear he'd had a few drinks already. "Hey, little brother! How you been?"

"I'm fine. Is Lena around?"

The burly man's face contorted, guilt filling that mirthful smile with poison. "You ain't gonna find her here tonight."

Shit. With a sigh, Jake decided, "Then I guess it's you I'm telling."

He smirked, shaking off that look. "I'm all ears!"

Jake sighed and just decided it was best to come right out with it. "I found some of Lena's things in Howard's desk at work."

Patrick's eyes hardened in an instant. "What?"

"Today at work, I went to put some papers on his desk and found a bunch of her shit. A hairbrush, a shirt… A bra."

"Get your ass upstairs." He turned and found Dom, giving the man nothing more than a nod before practically dragging Jake away from the bar.

Upstairs, Peter was sitting on the couch in their small living room with a cat and a book in his lap when Patrick stomped up the stairs with Dom in tow. His eyes narrowed. "What's goin' on?"

Pat nodded to Jake. "You tell him what you told me."

"Today at work, I found some of Lena's things in Howard's office."

"What kind of things?" Dom asked.

"A hairbrush, a shirt, and a bra."

Peter's mouth twisted into a tight line as he stood up. "Fuck! I told you… I fucking told you!"

Dom held a hand up. "If he's got anything serious, I'll find it."

"Oh, so now you wanna check?" Patrick sneered.

"Shut up." Jake was surprised by the raw, animalistic brutality of Dom's tone toward Patrick, but he kept his mouth shut. He turned to Peter. "How do you wanna do this?"

Jake could tell Peter wanted to ask the drug dealer to make Howard pay. He could see the violence and the restraint tug on his features. "Cleanly. I wanna be sure before we make any rash decisions."

Patrick scoffed, shaking his head. "We should be busting that fuckers door down and breaking his goddamn knees."

"I'll go now. The sooner it gets done, the better." Dom turned toward the door and suddenly paused, looking back at Jake. "You comin' tough guy?"

All eyes turned to him."Did you want me to?"

The biker shrugged. "Might be good for you."

Jake knew he could have easily declined, but he needed somewhere to put all the built-up anger and frustration. It was a perfect opportunity not just to see Howard taken down a peg but to maybe get some answers out of Dom about his relationship with Lena. So, Jake nodded and followed the biker downstairs, where the others waited by their bikes, clearly ready to follow whatever orders Dom gave.

Nodding to an empty bike, Dom asked, "Can you ride?"

"I've fucked around on dirtbikes before."

He made a face and shook his head. "You ride with John then."

The silver-haired old man nodded Jake over and fixed his gloves as he climbed on. "Don't fall off or nothin. I ain't gonna stop if ya do."

"I won't fall off," he replied with a frustrated breath. They stood around for a few minutes longer as Dom gathered some choice individuals together to give them the rundown. While he spoke in hushed tones, Jake could see the pure rage inside him. It was a feeling that mirrored his own, one that made some ugly feeling rise up once again inside him.

For as long as he'd known Dom and seen him interact with Lena, he couldn't help but feel like the two were more than just drug dealer and ex-addict. So, Jake settled on the back of John's bike and asked, "He seems pretty riled up about Lena."

John mostly ignored him. "Ain't we all. She's a good kid."

"Yeah," he said slowly. "But, there's gotta be something there, right?"

"Whatchu gettin' at, boy?"

"Dom and Lena," Jake finally just said it simply. "How long were they an item?"

The old man cackled then, tossing his head back and laughing like a deranged man. Instead of answering Jake's question, he started his bike, revved the engine, and yelled, "BETTER HOLD ON YA TWIT!"

Riding with the gang was a lot different from the one short ride he'd taken with Lena in a lot of ways. It was louder, far more reckless, and he felt distinctly out of place among them. As they rode through the crowded streets, they'd shout inside jokes to each other and teasingly almost crash their bikes into one another's. Thrilling but not the kind Jake found himself appreciating as much.

When they finally stopped in front of Howard's house, the bikes lined the street for almost a whole block. He left John's side and found the only familiar face in the sea of leather. Ryker stood with his arms crossed and a stony expression on his face. When he saw the bartender approach, he spared a smile. "Good to see you decided to join us."

"You know me, I'm all about this kind of thing."

"Hmm, just try not to get in the way too much."

Jake watched Dom for a moment as he spoke with John, the burning need to ask that same question boiling over inside him. "So, Dom and Lena?"

Ryker just shook his head. "You're not very bright, are you?"

Before he could reply with an equally insulting quip, Dom whistled. "Alright, you all know the drill. Tough guy, you're with me."

Breaking into Howard's home was easier than he'd expected. Another biker, a man they called Wit, picked the lock in under a minute and opened the door for Dom and him to enter. He was nervous, stepping foot in his manager's home illegally, but he was committed to getting the truth and exposing Howard for what he was.

The bottom floor was empty, but Jake could hear noise echoing from upstairs. He led the way as Dom followed close behind him, moving through the long hallway quietly before finding the half-open door of Howard's home office. He could hear the noise more clearly now, sounds that he knew damn well were some kind of porn.

Suppressing a laugh, joy-filled Jake as he realized he'd not only be exposing Howard's actions but his tiny cock too. He swung the door open, letting Dom enter alongside him. The tv turned off in a second, the manager's quick motion sending the remote across the room. Howard fumbled to cover himself with his pants. "GET OUT!" He glared at Jake, recognition finally taking hold. "You… You're fired! You hear me, you're fucking fired!"

Dom moved around the desk, grabbing Howard by the shirt with a thin sneer. "Shut the fuck up or I'll shut you up."

He bent over and picked the remote up, flipping it in his hand as he chuckled. "You know, I've always been curious about what uptight assholes like you get off to."

"Don't!" Howard pleaded.

Jake turned, pressing the button once again, not hearing Dom's shout until it was too late. The screen came to life, the noise filling the room, noise that made every hair on his body stand on end. There was too much going on for him to process fully… It was like he was watching a car crash. He was horrified, disgusted, but couldn't look away. Then the camera shifted, and a hand marred with a fresh, jagged scar took a fistful of the poor girl's hair… Red hair. Jake felt his heart drop.

Lena.

Dom abandoned Howard and grabbed the remote from Jake's loose grip, quickly turning the TV back off. For a minute, all he could do was stand there and stare at the blank screen where the image of her being… With a short breath, he turned and looked at Dom. The question didn't need to be spoken, and neither did the answer. Dom's eyes said it all.

Anger replaced the need to vomit, and Jake turned, fist clenched and raised in seconds. He'd punched people before, but this one… This one felt different. At first, he thought it was because he'd finally gotten the chance to hit Howard, but then he punched him again and again and again. Jake didn't stop until Ryker and another biker pulled him off, and as they pulled him back, Jake's lungs filled with fire. "YOU SICK MOTHERFUCKER!"

It was then that Jake accepted the truth of it. He didn't hit Howard because he was an asshole. He did it because he had a video of Lena. Not just some dumb sex tape… Not just any video, but one of her being violated. Howard was getting off to watching her being held down… raped. At that moment, all the questions Jake had been trying to piece together for months were suddenly answered.

This was Lena's story. It was the painful past she could never bring herself to share. It was why all the violence and the near-death experiences didn't seem to phase her. And then, all at once, he realized that this was likely just a sliver of the truth. A thing that Dom's eyes only confirmed. As Jake fought against the bikers that held him, he could hear her voice - that sad, pained voice - echoing in his head. "There are worse things than dying."

"I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU!" He screamed, though he and Dom knew the words weren't for Howard, just like the punches hadn't been.

Well, the first punch had been solely for Howard, for the sick fucking monster Jake now knew without a doubt he was, but the second… The third, fourth, and fifth ones had been for the man that wasn't here. The man that Nana had been using prayer to ward off. The man that had raped her… The man that she was still living in fear of.

Strong arms held him back as Dom returned to Howard's side. "Are there any more?"

"N… No…" Howard sniffled in reply. "Please don't hurt me…"

"Shut up!" Dom growled, hand curling around Howard's throat. "You don't get to beg. Now, I'm only gonna ask you this once. Where did you get the tape?"

Howard's lips quivered as he shook his head. "I…"

Dom's fist rattled against the desk. "WHERE?!"

"He… He gave it to me…"

"Are you still in contact with him?" Howard nodded. Dom's grip loosened and gently let Howard fall back in his chair. "Good. You're gonna send him a message for me."

Jake watched, chest heaving and lungs burning still as Dom leaned down to whisper in Howard's ear. The manager nodded along, desperate and stupid. "Alright… Okay…"

Ryker handed him the tape, and Dom straightened up. "My boy here will be keeping a close eye on you from now on." He tapped Howard's bruised, bleeding face. "So let's all be on our best behavior from here on out."

Howard could only mumble his compliance as Dom turned to Ryker and nodded. The tall man smiled. "You heard the boss. Let's tear it apart!"

Dom touched Jake's shoulder and told the men holding him to let go. As the weight on his arms vanished, he had half the mind to leap at Howard again, but Dom stared him down. "Come on, tough guy. It's time we had a real chat."

"Yeah, alright," he replied, following Dom out onto the sidewalk.

The chilled night air helped cool his temper and clear his head, but with that came the unbearable weight of what he'd seen on that tape. Dom held the cursed thing in his hands, and as Jake looked down at it, he felt the burning hatred for that man - that still unnamed figure - grow. At this point, he didn't need to meet him to even know his name. He'd make sure the bastard paid somehow.

Watching Dom light a cigarette and stand beside him in silence, Jake wanted to ask him the questions that would now haunt him. He wanted to know… To understand everything about that tape and the horrors that he still had no clue about. What happened to her? His mind thought. How did she survive that?

"I wasn't always a drug dealer, you know. I used to be a mechanic," He finally said, blowing smoke from between his lips with a shake of his head. "I worked on cars and fucked women and lived my life."

"So, how'd you end up here?" It wasn't the question or the topic Jake expected, but he was willing to listen.

"Like everyone else." Dom's face never changed, his eyes still glued to the spot in front of him. "I had a sister. One a lot like Lena. Smart, funny, strong. She had dreams and goals, and she was just so determined to make them happen in that annoying way that they have, you know? She was everything to us… To me. She was everything, and then she was gone."

"What happened?

"Running a business ain't cheap. Especially when there's about eighty shops just like it," Dom replied bitterly. "And someone's always gotta pay. Whether that's with money or with blood, someone pays. I had accumulated quite a debt trying to keep my place open. Debt to people that don't just let that kinda shit go, ya know? And bein’ a hot-headed, ill-tempered fucking idiot, I pissed a lot of people off. My brother," Dom nodded at Jake's surprised look, "Yeah, got one of those too. He ran with a sketchy crew and offered to help me out with some cash. I didn't know that help came with a long night of getting fucked up on drugs, but I did it, hoping my sister would actually get both her big brothers in one room together for Christmas that year. By the time I sobered up and got home... She was dead."

He didn't know what to say, didn't know if he should say anything at all. "They came that night while I was out. Apparently, someone had tipped them off that I was going to a rival or some shit to get outta paying, and they decided I needed to be taught a lesson. I don't... I don't know exactly what they did to her, but I know they drug it out. She was still warm when I got there." His voice was rough now, struggling to get the words out. "Her eyes were the only thing recognizable about her."

"Shit... I..."

"I don't want your pity," he spat, turning now to look at him. "I want you to understand before you fuck up the best thing that's ever happened to you by runnin' your mouth. What's between me and Lena isn't sexual, not even remotely. There has not been one moment of our time together where that's been in question, so stop askin' dumb shit."

He shouldn't have been surprised that Dom heard of his questions. The gang was nothing if not loyal to him. So, he simply nodded in agreement. "Okay."

"Now that that's outta the way, I need you to understand something else."

He swallowed the lump in his throat. "What?"

"That girl has been through hell. You think what you saw tonight was fucked up? You don't know nothin’. Now, she'll pretend and deny it, but she's got a good heart. I know the boys already gave you the speech, but I wanted to make sure you really got it. If you ever hurt her, I will not hesitate to throw your body in the river." The man paused, wide eyes filled with tears that would never fall. "I won't lose another sister."

Then, Jake fully understood Dom's actions - he understood who he was and who Lena was to him. With a nod, he replied, "I wouldn't hurt her. Not ever."

Dom nodded and clapped a hand on Jake's shoulder. "You did good tonight, Jake."

That was the first time the drug-dealing biker had ever called him by his name. Hearing his name be spoken with an underlying tone of respect felt good. "I have questions."

"I know," the man acknowledged. "And I have answers, some at least. The rest will be up to her to share with you when she's ready." The group of bikers began to flood out of the house. "But not tonight."

A feeling of understanding settled in his chest. He may have been new to this whole fucked up situation, but Dom… Lena's brothers had been living it for years now. Jake rode back with the bikers to The Ring, trying to focus on that feeling of understanding, trust, and respect rather than the pit of despair the night's findings brought him.

Upstairs, the brothers waited. Patrick pacing like a caged animal, the hammer still tightly in his hand. Peter sat at the table, staring numbly into the surface of the wood. When they entered, closing the door behind them, Patrick was the one that spoke. In all the time Jake had known him, he'd never heard his voice sound so lifeless and menacing. "Well?"

"You were right," Dom said, sliding the tape across the table, eyes on Peter, who just looked at the tape with tears in his eyes. "I should've checked sooner."

Patrick was less calm, raising his hammer and using it to pulverize the tape. Jake thought watching it being destroyed would have made him feel better, but it didn't. "Stupid fucking mother fucker!" Patrick ground out, hitting the table a few times more before the head of the hammer snapped off. "GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!"

Peter closed his eyes, tears streaming down his cheeks before he wiped them and looked at Dom. "Were there any others?"

"No. I had my boys search. He only had the one."

"Good," he said.

"Not good enough," Patrick replied. "There shouldn't have even been a fucking tape to begin with."

Dom leaned against a chair, ignoring the brothers' accusatory tone. "I've got the boys digging through some black market dealers. If there's more, we'll know."

Patrick looked at Peter, his eyes finally filling with liquid. "What are we gonna tell her?"

For a minute, Jake saw Peter's face fall, the strong exterior of a protector faltering. Fear… Guilt filled his stone features before he steeled himself and said, "Nothing."

"Nothing?" Patrick repeated as he cleaned up the evidence of the tape.

"Pete," Dom began with a careful look.

Peter doubled down. "She just barely started feeling comfortable in that goddamn restaurant again. She just barely started living again. Do you wanna take that away from her?" He looked at Patrick. "Or you?"

"Alright then," the biker agreed, his eyes shifting to Jake. "You got that?"

"You want me to lie to Lena?" He asked, a slight tone of disbelief lacing his words.

Patrick shrugged. "If you think you can stomach tellin' her the truth, then by all means."

Shaking his head, Jake contemplated his options. If he did lie, then that meant betraying Lena's trust, betraying the faith she had in him, to be honest with her. But telling her the truth-telling her that he saw, even just one second of that tape… saw what she'd been through… could destroy her. It would rob her of all sense of autonomy in telling him this horrific truth of her life in her own time and her own way. It would bring that painful look back to her eyes, and he…

The door opened, and everyone stilled as Lena entered. She paused in the doorway, looki

ing around the room at the faces she clearly hadn't expected to be there. Once her eyes met his, Jake felt like he might just blurt everything out. He wanted to hold her, to kiss her, and swear that he'd never let anything bad happen to her ever again. But he just stood there.

She dropped her bag on the ground by the door. "I-"

Patrick moved, shoving past him to pull his sister into his arms. From where he stood, Jake could see the tears build in Lena's eyes as she wrapped her arms around him and sighed. "You know I didn't mean any of it, right?" He heard Patrick ask, "I didn't mean it."

"I know. I didn't mean it either."

"I know."

The two of them stood there for a long minute, the silence between everyone else filled with relief and pain. When the large man finally pulled away, he whispered something to her.

With a sniffling laugh, she finally smiled, whispering it back. Jake didn't need to know Irish to understand what was shared between them. I love you.

Dom passed him first, their eyes connecting over the table. Jake may not have been a people person, but he was good at reading looks. Dom offered him a choice through his eyes. Keep the secret or tell her. He could see that the biker was prepared to deal with it no matter what Jake chose. Dom exited the apartment with a simple pat on Lena's shoulder, leaving the siblings to their business. Peter hugged Lena, kissing her head with a desperate relief. "Don't disappear like that again. Please."

"I won't," she promised.

Jake stood by silently as they shared in their relief. The family didn't include him, but they didn't exclude him either, so he was content being a simple bystander. Then Patrick looked up and offered him a nod. This would look like any other nod to anyone else, but Jake saw the tears in his eyes and the gratitude that shined with them. Peter's own look followed shortly after, and Jake wanted nothing more than to tell them to stop admiring him. He hadn't done anything worth their admiration.

They excused themselves quietly, leaving him standing face-to-face with the one person he'd been waiting to see all day. As she turned and looked at him with guilty, nervous eyes, he remembered how mad he'd been at her for leaving. And suddenly, that was a ridiculous thing, being angry at her. She sighed, whispering a quiet and simple greeting, "Hi."

Hi… Jake remembered how beautiful it had sounded this morning when they'd been curled up in his sheets. Even with the tone of guilt and the simmering pain the night had unwrapped him in, it was still just as beautiful a word now as it had been then. "Hi."

"I'm sorry about earlier…" She shook her head, and Jake could see the tears still building in her eyes. "I shouldn't have run out on you. I-"

"Stop," he said without fully meaning to. "You…" His jaw clenched, a hundred different things running through his head. You're too good for me. You're perfect. "You have nothing to apologize for."

Her lower lip quivered slightly. "They told you then?"

For a moment, his heart stopped. Fear chilled his veins at the thought that she would already know about the lie he was holding inside him. "What?"

"My brothers. I'm guessing they told you about yesterday? About it being the anniversary of our dad's death."

Suddenly, it all made sense. Her tears, her shock, and her anger… The way all she could say to him was that simple, sad sentence. I forgot. Suddenly, Jake understood why she'd seemed distracted yesterday, why it felt like she'd been avoiding something. "That's why you were… I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"It's not your fault," she answered. "I could have canceled."

"Why didn't you?"

Lena shrugged, and even though he could still see how pained she was, she smiled at him. "I wanted to be with you."

After the night Jake had, hearing those words made him feel elated. Lena was here, smiling at him as though she'd never known an ounce of pain. She was here. She was with him. So, he stepped forward, happy that she didn't flinch when he approached and wrapped his arms around her.

The feel of her gentle embrace and the softness of her breath against his neck made it hard for him to keep all he now knew inside. He cradled her head, cradled every inch of her, as though he was afraid she'd bruise beneath him. No, that wasn't why, he realized. This hug was his silent and innocent way to prove to her that his hands would not be like the ones she'd known before. His hands would be safe and steady and gentle.

"I missed you today," she murmured against him. There was still a lingering sadness in her voice that made him want to hold her tighter.

"I missed you too, princess."

She pulled away then, looking up at him with a smile. "You can stay here tonight if you want to."

"It is getting late," he replied, reading the emotions on her face too easily.

Lena giggled, a sound that made him feel better. "I'd hate for you to get your ass kicked trying to get home."

He smirked. "We both know how easy it is for me to get my ass kicked."

"Come on."

Undressing in the small bedroom felt different that night. They'd undressed together a hundred times, but here, it felt comfortable and unhurried. If it'd been anyone else, he'd have expected her to be bashful beneath his steady gaze, but Lena wasn't anyone else. She met that gaze with one of her own, those green eyes he loved so much, pausing on his tattoos for just a hair longer than everywhere else. It was like a dance, the sincere examination of one another. A dance she excelled at.

Once he was in just his boxers, he situated himself on her bed, bringing the covers up just enough to leave room for her. Jake watched her throw their clothes to the side and brush through her hair before she joined him on the bed. Her skin was warm against his, soft as she moved to find a comfortable spot.

The mattress was lumpy and uneven, clearly older and more worn, but as she settled against him, her tired eyes drooping until they closed, he realized he didn't care about the lumps. As long as she was beside him, happy and safe and tired, Jake didn't care about anything else.

His hands gently massaged her shoulders as he pressed his nose into her hair before pulling it neatly to the side and looking down at her. The pit in his stomach burned then, remembering how broken she'd sounded on that tape… Remembering the scarred hand that clawed at her hair. She had every reason to push him away, to shrink from him every time he ran his fingers through that red mane, but she never did.

"Our girl is so strong." Nana had told him. Strong, selfless, beautiful… Too good for him. Jake looked at her, mind running wild with what he knew and what he still didn't. How did you do it? He wanted to ask her. How did you survive? How did you keep all this good in you?

She tilted her head slightly, seeing the emotions in his eyes, "What’s on your mind?”

“I just…" admire you, adore you… The fear that he'd pushed too far last night ate away at him. "I didn’t make you feel… obligated to stay last night, did I?”

She sat up, touching his cheek with a gentle smile. “No! I stayed because I wanted to stay, Jake.”

“You just seemed unsure before all the fun.”

“I mean… I guess I was a bit… Nervous,” I admitted sheepishly.

The grin was instinctual, but his smirk was full of joy. "Nervous about seeing me? I'm flattered."

"Not about that, jackass. Just… I…" With a sigh, she shook her head, pulling her body closer to his. "I was just nervous that you were expecting it to be different."

Jake couldn't help but run his fingers through her hair, gentle and safe as he hummed. "I didn't really have any expectations."

He could feel her body tense slightly and hear the slight nervousness in her voice as she asked, "Why did you tell Simone we were going on a date then?"

What? He thought, mulling over all his and Simone's conversations before last night. Nothing he said had anything to do with his plans with Lena. "I didn't tell Simone we were doing anything yesterday. Why would you think that?"

"I swung by the restaurant before meeting you. She told me I looked cute and not to be nervous because you were good at this sort of thing. Then she assured me she could keep our date a secret."

It made no sense. Simone didn't know about his plans. She rarely even asked him about that sort of thing anymore unless she needed him for something. "I…" He paused, genuine confusion and frustration making his head hurt. God dammit. "I'll talk to her about it. Sorry if that made you feel-"

She covered his mouth before he could fully apologize. "I didn't feel obligated to do anything. I wanted to. I just… I'm not very good at this."

"It's hard to imagine anything you're not good at."

Her nose scrunched up with her laugh. "I assure you, I'm horrible at a lot of things."

"Name one," he challenged.

"This," she replied, quiet but smug.

Jake rolled his eyes, arms tightening around her, a silent reassurance that he didn't care about how supposedly bad she was at anything. "You seem pretty good at it to me."

He watched her pupils widen. "Well, you're biased, so what you think doesn't count."

A comfortable silence filled the Harrow's apartment. Jake listened to the light sound of Peter and Patrick lingering downstairs, his thoughts quickly filling with how good it felt to be here. Usually, he disliked sleeping in other people's apartments, but he felt at home here. His chest burned, lungs filling with cherry-scented air. Say it! He encouraged himself. Ask her! "So… What…" Don't fucking pussy out just ask! "What is this?"

The silence was now unbearable as Lena continued to breathe against him. "I thought you hated labels."

He smiled at that, recognizing her deflection as something he likely would've done had she been the one to ask. "Normally, I do. But, this isn't normal… Is it?"

"No, it's not." The look in her eyes was soft but held a fearful gleam that made him feel sick.

"We don't have to have this conversation right now," he assured her. "Raincheck?"

The relief was instant as she nodded her head, suddenly looking so tired. "Raincheck.”

Tomorrow, he told himself. They could talk tomorrow. Settling into her bed, Jake held her, his body slowly coming down from all the adrenaline it'd been pumping through him throughout the night.

"Jake?" She quietly asked, lips caressing his skin as she spoke.

"Yeah, princess?"

"If my brothers didn't tell you about Dad… Why were you already here when I got back?"

He tried not to freeze as the reality finally settled over him. A decision had to be made now. Jake's mind raced, his heartbeat slowly quickening. "I…" Her hands curled into his shirt as she snuggled her face deeper into his chest before she settled in the warm comfort of him. "I was worried about you, so I showed up to ask if they'd seen you. Then you walked in."

She giggled, the sound forcing his joy and adoration of her to mingle with the lie he'd just told. "I do have amazing timing, don't I?"

Jake pressed his lips to her head. He wasn't going to steal her choice. He wouldn't rob her of the safety she found in him. He wouldn't let Howard, Olive, or even Simone rob them of this. She was here, safe in his arms… And he would be damned if anyone tried to take that away. "Yeah," he said softly. "You really do."

That night, Jake lay awake in her old room, holding Lena tighter than usual. He focused on her steady heartbeat echoing in his chest and the deep, sleepy breaths she took. He focused on the fact that she was alive - that she was here and not…

His eyes closed, and his jaw tightened. "Never again," he whispered into her skin. "He won't touch you ever again."

Cars driving by filled the room, the sounds of bugs fluttering around and the chatter of the city. Among it all, Jake's solemn whisper was the loudest. "I promise."

#fic: nightshade #sweetbitter jake #jake sweetbitter #sweet bitter #sweetbitter #sweetbitter jake and oc #sweetbitter smut #sweetbitter ocs #sweetbitter simone #sweetbitter howard #sweetbitter fandom #sweetbitter fic #sweetbitter fanfiction #sweetbitter jake x oc #sweetbitter jake and lena #sweetbitter lena

17 notes · View notes

pocketsizedquasar · 3 months

Note

From the WIP - Ask the Writer ask.

4) Who's your favorite character to write for your webcomic?

4) Who’s your favorite character to write? (wip ask game)

this answer honestly changes depending on who i wrote last LMAO! i rly enjoy a lot of them for different reasons. for characters like tash, dag, and fedallah, i really enjoy getting to fill in the racist gaps that melville left behind and bring their characters to life (and i’ve also just generally really enjoyed getting to know my versions of them better). writing for ahab and thinking about every layer of him is so oughfhfhfhdhfhhdhgh /positive. starbuck is also just… oughdhdhd you’re such a wet man. ur such a loser. there are no words to describe the depth of the sorrow i feel for mister starbuck. ishmael is really fun because he thinks a lot like i do (autism win <3) and he’s also just a little bit of an idiot / the perfect mix of Smart and Clueless Dumbass. queequeg is the love of my life and i also genuinely genuinely think of him as the Heart of the story in a lot of senses. pip is my sonboy (haven’t gotten to him much yet tho but we will<3) . u get it

i think right now i’m having the most fun with ahab bc this upcoming chapter is a lot more focused on him than the comic has been thus far, and really all about getting into his head and Feelings TM and all his complications and i Love him

#ask game #ask meme #mobydick #moby dick #ask #quasartalks #inkonfreshnewpaper #a bit of a cop out answer but i rly do love writing for everyone #stubb and flask this ain’t about you /lh #(though even then stubb is at least interesting to write because of how much i want to skewer him)

7 notes · View notes

ganonfan1995 · 11 months

Text

totk spoilers

just thoughts on totk thus far

I keep seeing ppl say they've done away with the triforce in totk...but like....im 99% sure that's what the secret stones are supposed to be.

The triforce itself is comprised of the combined power of the royal 3.

But they also seem to work 1:1 like the triforce did in like LTTP.

Also there's 8 pieces which calls back to LoZ 2.

I'm not done the game yet, but totk seems to rehashing a LOT of older lore mixed with more recent lore. Notably, this game feels like its primarily touching on the first 3 games, plus OOT, with some of the better ideas from SS.

You see implications of who the gods truly are (apparently colonizing aliens who descended upon the land to mine its resources...which was something implied in SS quite blatantly???)

But it also adds context to the original 3 goddesses, implying that they had been ancient Zonai who posed as gods to the original inhabitants of Hyrule. Later becoming dragons and mythologized after thousands of years. (also me pogging that the light dragons stoney spines are the same colours as the goddess plumes!?!?!?? idk what that means but cool?????????)

I also don't know if they touch on this later, but it really seems like the Sheikah, esp the ancient Sheikah, were Hylians who specifically followed in the footsteps of the Zonai. I think this makes sense, and ties them to previous games where they were a tribe/clan/family of ninja who were closest to the gods. And since Zonai fancy themselves gods (or at least the ancient Hylians did, I don't think they were tbh) , this kind of clarifies that relationship/connection. Maybe they have a specific tie to Mineru, which would reiterate their bond to the royal family. But that might be over complicating things, since at least in botw they're just like, straight up ninja. But who knows, maybe not??

Also the young dumb idiot energy that Rauru brings is great. Big fan of young fucko who thinks he can be a good king but inherently fucks up because that's impossible, girl ur a monarch, is super interesting. wanna take him by the ears and look him dead in the eyes like, buddy you legit should not have taken those fucking stones out and just lived a quiet life in the woods...but then we'd be without a game. 🙄

I'm still collecting the slabs, the small snippets you get of both he and Sonia's relationship and characters are so fun. Sonia is also great, wish we got a bit more of her tho.

I'm really enjoying Ganondorf, he's a bit understated, but it's been interesting to see him younger than we ever have, right before the unification wars, head full of poetry and ambition. Why he green tho???????

Also really interesting how they've loosened the whole "hylia" stuff in favor for just "goddess"

Very much loving that Link is no longer a knight, but a swordsman who travels around helping people out. Total folklore/fairytale vibes, 10/10!! Also I feel like I'm connecting to him much more in this game, I really could never get behind the devout knight energy. He's a folk hero, he's here for the love of the game, and so am I!

Also mfw "Link...interesting...I look forward to meeting him." my man's been pining to meet ME for thousands of years, confirmed. I read homestuck, I know a black-rom relationship when I see one. (swooning)

#totk spoilers #this is abt everything except the ending #i just need to ramble

25 notes · View notes

maissafespace · 2 years

Text

Ayato Kirishima x Kaneki!Reader

Synopsis: Ken Kaneki parted way with his sister more than a few years ago. It was time to reunite during battle, all was unexpected.

Warnings: No one I think.

Request: @1vv0h

A/N: Ayato, my beloved.... Hope you like this tho! It might not respect the whole concept, I’m sorry😓

Masterlist - Masterpost

The last time you saw your older brother was right before you went with CPS after your mother's tragic death. Your aunt, for some reason, wasn't willing to take both of you, she settled to take Ken while you were brought into an orphanage.

It wasn't a good experience at all, nobody even at the age of 5 was willing to take you in.

Parents that wanted to adopt always looked for babies and newborns, because they knew an older child would bring a bit more of complications. Even more when they had memories of their bio family. It was at the age of 5 that all your memories of your family were restricted to a few photos.

You were willing to trade them for a new family, you only wanted your brother back for you to feel less lonely and less abandoned to life.

No one had been able to fill that void till the day at 15 when you met a certain purple haired young ghoul of your age, he was out to eat something when he had saw you being followed home, by one of the wanted individuals in their ward.

It was a nasty fight that he won at the end, feeding himself off that previous ghoul's victim to not feed off you, restraining himself while you had blood trickling down your face from a scar that the ghoul had managed to give you.

He didn't know either why he saved you that day but since that moment he'd happen to show up once every three weeks. He didn't talk to you when he came, he stayed sat in the balcony rail, pretending he was there just for patrol for the Aogiri tree while you talked for hours about your day and random thoughts.

You were happy with only having him there, he was the first company you had ever had. He made you feel less abandoned and minimized the absence of Ken.

That once every three weeks became once every two weeks, to once a week and once every two days.

It was a day when you weren't in your balcony that he got worried, it was a habit that you weren't breaking to talk to him every time he was there. His curiosity won over him so did his concern, he looked inside from the outside he saw you wrapped tightly in your futon.

He was conflicted in whether to enter the room or not but folded in the end, when he was in front of you, he could see the veil of sweat on your face, the hot fever and the way you were trembling.

It was difficult for him to even understand that he was scared for you and care for you to get well soon.

He muttered under his breath the entire time, calling himself an idiot for being so protective over a mere human, and calling you stupid for getting sick so easily.

It was from that moment that he became responsive to your interactions.

You were both 16 when the presence of the two of you in a single room started to feel heavier, your eyes were falling to his lips more when he talked and his eyes wondering around your body when you looked away.

It wasn't fair to him.

You were still human and he may lose control any second, humans and ghouls weren't compatible at all or worse he could lead you to more than the scar you had, he could lead more ghouls to you.

Nothing seemed to matter though, the moment his lips met yours. A gentle and sweet first kiss for the both of you, that was soon transforming into more, with your body on top of his as his hands explored you.

The guilt and consciousness slipped back in as he pushed himself away from you. "fuck..." he cursed, in his mind he wanted to keep going but to nature's law this was wrong.

He thanked his life for the call someone made to him, he got himself out of the situation but only broke your heart a little. He knew it and couldn't look at you in your eyes, he was denying you both of love after all. He whispered a low 'forgive me' as he put on his mask and was soon out of your apartment.

For weeks he stopped visiting you, yet, you never stopped hoping for him to come through the window. More memories of your brother came back as well, wondering if your brother was out there somewhere, if he stayed in Tokyo or not, if he had enrolled in university or was working, a lot went through your mind.

"... The News these days had reported an increasing amount of attacks by ghouls, the CCG has pr-" Your classmate changed up the channel as the two of you were on a break for your project together.

"All these ghouls and attacks, I wonder why the CCG has not killed them all or something, at this point we won't ever live a normal life without being scared of dying, don't you think so?" Her more than average consideration only brought sadness in you heart.

You worrying was increasing after every second that passed, you were scared that one day one of the weapons you'd see on the doves would be Ayato himself.

When he left there was no guarantee that he'd come back after all. He disappeared just like Ken did. And you were alone again.

Ayato's 17th birthday had passed already and it was soon going to be yours, but there were still no signs of him. Or so you thought.

There had been a huge attack when your window was knocked at in the middle of the night. When you saw the lingering look in his eyes, looking at you with longing as he removed his mask, you were scrambling out of the futon, frantically stepping towards him, opening the window and finally throwing your arms around him.

For the first time since he took care of you, you felt his touch as he wrapped an arm around your waist. Both of you hiding into each other's bodies, taking in that moment.

All his effort to keep you far from him had gone to waste. After a nasty battle he couldn't help but come to you, see you and calm down knowing that you were okay and still have your arms open for him.

One thing had led to another in that encounter, after your lips had met his and this time he didn't reject your love, he let himself being drown it.

He closed the window behind him, scattering both of your clothes everywhere till your skin touched and laid on the bed.

A slighlty painful first time, as he thrusted into you but nothing that the two of you would take back.

Even if he hated humans, he loved you.

Since then he started to be more present, only a few days away when he had to return to the ward he was staying at and then crash at your place for some time.

Talking over and over for hours about everything, while he also ranted about his sister, you had the chance to explain about your older brother. You had never mentioned his name, only brief wishes to meet him again.

Two years later, you were 18 when skin to skin, sweaty of a few rounds of love, your flesh on your shoulder was pierced by his teeth, you hissed, but drown in the pleasure as he still thrusted in you. An hour passed when he pulled away, caressing him off to relax, his eyes going back to normal, his Ukaku disappearing.

In the middle of the night, he said it was a normal urge, he didn’t look at you in the eyes then, but it was supposed to be how ghouls showed affection and love.

Close to three years passed, the fights in Tokyo were increasing, he had asked you for security reasons to move closer to his own ward, you were not going to university either since you couldn't afford it so you accepted his proposal right away.

Not even a few minutes after the first attack to close buildings and Ayato was there to take you away. He was going to bring you to the hideout, so you were within sight of others and his. “There there’s my sister, my uncle, Hinami, other annoying people, homeless ghouls and kids, you won’t have troubles staying there, they’re good.” He said as he held you like a bride, running at the max speed he could. Jumping anywhere.

“Meeting the family after four years, I thought you were going to keep a hidden lover forever.”

“I’m going to drop you right here.” He said deadpanned. You giggled at him and couldn’t help but see the slight rosy tint on his cheeks.

“Mhm…. if they ask can i tell them top to bottom the story of how we met till now? If they’re curious about it.” You heard him groan. “Oh come on Ayato, I need some topics to talk about, you’re the only thing that comes up in mind.”

“I’m seriously going to drop you.”

“Right. How far again?”

“We are here , actually.” He said stopping in front of unwell kept entrance. He put you down, walking in front of you as he made his way inside.

There was complete dark and silence till a few explosions went by. You had ducked down as little pieces of ceilings were falling, Ayato was in the instant prepared to engage in battle. “Maybe we should’ve stayed in your apartment.” He mumbled under his breath.

Steps were heard at the end of the hallway, coming their way, he was ready then when a female voice echoed in a whisper in the walls. “Ayato!”

Your boyfriend relaxed at the voice. “Touka, you stupid little shit. What the fuck is happening?” His voice wasn’t as relaxed as him. While you were recognizing the same hair they had, features and connected that it was the same sister that he ranted about with no end. Touka Kirishima.

“The CCG is here, I’m leading the ghouls incapable to fight out of here.” She said. “Where were you? Who is she?”

“Shut up. Where are Kaneki, Nishiki, Yomo and Tsukuyama? And why are you the one leading the incapable we need to fight?” He asked as angry and on his toes as he was. While you were stuck on a single name he had said.

“If you were here you would know I can’t. They were out to find food for everyone, they didn’t come back yet-“ Explosions were heard in the background again. “Ayato, go, Hinami is buying us time to run.” You weren’t a fan of how he tensed up at the girls name but this wasn’t the right time to start an argument.

“Shit shit shit, you go! I’ll go buy as much time as I can, take her with you, you two introduce yourselves later, we don’t have time.” He was about to head away, only to be stopped by your hand.

There was a reason you stayed away before as well, you weren’t fully realizing how bad fights between CCG and ghouls were, Ayato always came back without a scratch and after fights were done. You were seeing him leaving now. He was leaving.

“What!” His eyes had already transformed, and the anger in his voice would be enough to scare anyone. Yet, he was taken aback when he felt the softness of your lips, meeting your eyes as they had sadness and worry for him.

He carefully cupped your face, pulling away when another explosion went through. “I’m not tending any more injuries of yours.” You told him.

He chuckled. “I’m the best it could happen to them at the moment. Go, I’ll see you when I get back.” He told you and you both parted ways, you saw him turned the corner and suddenly more explosions went by.

His sister pulled you with her and you both started running for your life, the way she was putting her hands were going in front of her stomach, were a given on the reason why she couldn’t fight. She could still manage to scream and guide everyone.

Your escape came to an end when you found an entire group of doves standing right in front of you, trained people against kids and people who never fought. At that moment you were glad that manage to give him a last kiss.

You were sure you were about to die, but nothing ever came, if not an earthquake and the doves retreating or dying from a huge thing developing in the ground.

Touka took the chance and started to run as well to the hideout. Settling back only to keep hearing the name Kaneki from everyone, everyone was looking for him, and you couldn’t help but keep reminiscing of your name, of the few flashes of memories that included a certain black haired older brother.

It wasn’t the most common name but the chances of that Kaneki being Kaneki Ken had to be small. It would be a joke to have been at a person’s reach all this time. You could’ve easily known him through Ayato.

But then in a moment of break you sat down with her. “So, you are with my brother?” She asked awkwardly, there was way more than confusion in her face. An expression that would make everyone knowing his character but a funny one for you since you knew parts of him that others didn’t.

“As hard as it may seem, we’ve been together for three years now, happy and hidden. I’m Kaneki (Y/N).” You held your hand out, while the other went to a sacred spot on your shoulder, you smiled when you saw her eyes widen.

“Kaneki?” You only nodded.

“Can I ask if-“

“Ken. Kaneki Ken.” You nodded at her reply. And it was him. Or at least that was his name. “Once, years ago he told me about his childhood… You were-“ Tears were in your eyes so you only continue nodding with a smile.

“That’s me.” You wiped tears away. “What’s your relation to him then? Friends? You said you’ve known him for years.” You asked her and noticed the shy look, the blushing on her cheeks of embarrassment as she had to tell you what they were. Ken was easier on that side of things.

Her arm wrapped around her waist a bit more and then it’s when your mouth hung open a bit more. “W-we are married. And I-I’m pregnant with our child.” She whispered and stuttered. You wanted to congratulate her if it wasn’t for the circumstances.

“He’s fighting, isn’t he?” She hummed. “Is he an ex dove or something? We are both humans as far as birth certificate goes.” You were a bit confused, was he a skilled ex dove that passed to the other side for love?

She looked at you a bit estranged. “He’s a one eyed ghoul. He became like that. He was given organs from a ghoul woman and it fused in his system, and… I think all of this is his doing.”

And you were both correct, hours of conversation went by, she told you of the wedding, of his life, of the meaning of the mark, the current sides in the war and not much later you were given the news of his disappearance, of the appearance of Hide, your brothers friend and the alliance of the CCG and ghouls to find him.

Ayato had finally come back only to find his sister and you supporting one another. “I see you became friends.” Relief washed over you at hearing him safe and sound.

You jumped into his arms, holding him for dear life, squeezing him for making you worry so much till he hissed for his injuries. “You were away for hours, I thought something had happened to you.”

He sighed letting himself lose in the embrace for a few more seconds. “Im always okay, you just worry too much.” He pulled away, leaving a kiss on your lips as he intertwined his fingers with yours without making the situation awkward for other people in the room.

“Introductions, that’s Hinami and Nishiki, the others are somewhere around here, they’re looking for him. This is (Y/N), my girlfriend-“ “-wife.” You corrected him, his cheeks going to instant crimson red, his look was shocked and surprised while the people around you had their eyes wide open. “Touka said it’s wife in terms of ghoul. Why did you never tell me that? Should I go by Kirishima (Y/N)?” You patted your shoulder where the biting mark he had left was, he looked away from you while you grinned. He had been fully busted.

“So that’s where you were gone all that time.” Nishiki pushed his glasses up with a smirk.

“Shut it!”

“The ring!” You were all taken by the exclamation from Touka, she walked away explaining that she had given the ring of her parents to Ken, how they could be able to find the metal and make the search easier.

Nonetheless, hours later you were able to find him.

He wasn’t at all like you remembered him as they pulled him out of the attachments on him, he didn’t have his black hair anymore, the baby face, the eyes full of compassion… You couldn’t help your tears.

As they fell down, you could only imagine the amount of things he went through as Touka told you that made him like this.

A life full of tragedy for your sweet older brother.

You waited beside Touka in silence for him to wake up; seconds going by, excruciating tension and hope that diminished, till he sat up.

Normally. Like nothing ever happened, he only looked at Touka at first, you could see then the amount of love you pinned at him when you were a child, he greeted everyone back till his eyes came to you.

There was a wave of different reactions, feelings and emotions. When his eyes finally widened, he seemed to have recognized you. “You have grown so much, how long has it been-“

“15 years. Long 15 years and you’ve changed much more than me, you shitty older brother.” Tears were rolling down, you met him in the hug.

10 years of thinking that there wasn’t family, that you were alone, then Ayato came but the fulfillment of your family and thousands of what if’s where they hadn’t separated you from your brother.

All those lonely nights gone as you were back in his arms.

Behind you, your boyfriend only looked at the both of you confused, what did you mean with brother… “You have always been so close.” You let out a laugh as he smiled.

“How did you end up in here?” He asked. You were surrounded by ghouls, one eyed ghouls and doves.

Your mouth formed a grin, your fingers touching a second the scar on your face, till you turned around and pointed at Ayato. “All him.”

“Ayato?” Touka pushed him a step forward, blush on his cheeks as he didn’t know what to do. While Ken’s eyes started to clear up the meaning of it all. “With Ayato.”

“Kaneki’s and Kirishima’s can catch up later, we need to fix that thing outside first.” Nishiki said interrupting the reunion, but reasonably.

You both looked back and forth, but now you had forever to catch up on all your missing adventures of the last 15 years apart from each other, your families and significant others on top of it all, as each Kaneki had found its half in a Kirishima.

Yikes. I feel like it could’ve been better. 🥲

#tokyo ghoul x reader #tokyo ghoul re #ayato kirishima x reader #ayato x reader #ayato kirishima #kirishima ayato #tokyo ghoul

314 notes · View notes

bennidraws · 3 months

Note

16+17, 28, 44, 64 for both of them <3 ✨

aaah thank you so much, bb!!! ❤️ this got way longer than anticipated IM SORRY IN ADVANCE

16. Which of the companions does your Tav trust most? 17. Which of the companions does your Tav distrust most?

The way I'm thinking about the bg3 story, both Rosio and Lucis were simultaneously completing parts of the quests, adventuring with only half of the companions, never running into each other (maybe at the end.. big avengers assemble moment.. except it's your ex that kinda ruined your life.. a classic), so from the pool of companions Rosio knows very well - Lae'zel, Shadowheart, Astarion, Jaheira and Halsin - he basically trusts Jaheira the most and almost instantly lol. She reminds him too much of his mother 🥲 Halsin is probably right there with her, he's the main voice of reason, Rosio trusts him to not let him and Astarion die during their gremlin shenanigans 😭 He kinda trusts Lae'zel and Shadowheart too, but only after their "fuck our goddesses" phase, he doesn't generally trust people too attached to their gods.

Funnily enough it took him the longest to trust Astarion 💀 Rosio was convinced he was the object of his manipulation basically till the "I love you" moment (and even more funnily enough, Rosio was willingly subjecting himself to that manipulation, being the self sabotaging, masochistic idiot that he is).

If Rosio knew Wyll, he wouldn't buy into his whole good boy hero shtick. He doesn't believe there are this kind-hearted people out there 😔 (But he's absolutely self projecting lol, the whole "how could you turn so kind when people wronged you so... and why I wasn't capable of it")

Lucis, on the other hand, fucking loves Karlach and Wyll. He trusts them with his life, considers them his best friends. Maybe he's a bit naive, but he actually finds their strong moral compasses admirable.

He trusts Gale too, but considering he's his lover, it's a tad more complicated 💀 It means the absolute world for Lucis that Gale would basically move mountains for him, but there's also.. Mystra 💀 That would be the source of his insecurities and a bit of trust issues (which, tbh, is pretty selfish, boy!!!! It's not like you're completely over your ex lmfaooo 😭)

(And if Lucis traveled with Astarion, it wouldn't even be a case of distrust, that would be a wholeass circus-level hatred... They're two peacocks, and in certain ways dangerously similar... Kill bill sirens blasting in the distance... And that's without the current-lover/ex-lover of Rosio dynamic 💀)

28. What is your Tav’s guilty pleasure?

Oh HMMM. The most typical one being food, I'd say. This man would run out of shape so fast if he wasn't leading an active life lmao. But if we're talking more Deep guilty pleasures, then it's being cared for, not having control, getting attention and feeling small (and yes, this is mostly about sex ahjkdajkds). He doesn't get to feel this way often nor does he even usually allow himself all this.. bc Issues and Trauma :)

For Lucis it's probably getting spoiled lol. He hates it about himself tho (being a spoiled kid, getting harshly criticized for it, wanting to be different, really cutting ties with the way he used to be).

But from more serious point of view, you can apply literal Guilty Pleasures to him. Lucis has such bad body autonomy and sex issues that he hasn't been able to have sex sober for like 20 years, he freaks out so bad and it got so mentally draining that it led to an addiction. Which leads to a constant guilt and pretty damaged confidence. (Turns out being a sweetheart of Athkatlan high society for like a decade really corrupts!!)

44. What song best represents your Tav?

WELL THANKS TO YOU AND YOUR BIG BRAIN MUSIC TASTE, ZEAL, Take This Lonely Heart will always be THE Rosio song. Can't believe Nothing but thieves created a song about my oc, so thankful to them, they really didn't have to 🙏

Now cue to Maneskin brainrot, you can apply so much of their songs to Lucis, bc. Medicated, horny, party animal lifestyle. But honorary mention to After Dark bc sad synthwave/retrowave would be so much his style (and it's what imbued thunder/lightning magic into a bardic instrument is for, right ??)

64. What Tarot Card best represents your Tav?

My only knowledge about tarot cards comes from jojo's bizarre adventure (😭) so literally anyone could correct me on this and my 5 minutes long research aaaa.

Tbh probably Death for Rosio (end of a cycle, change, beginning ??) and I think there would be something very poetic about The Lovers

Aaaa The Devil literally fits so well for Lucis' worse past (addiction???) but I think deep down he's The Fool (innocence, but mainly new beginnings, aww)

#ask #velkyr #thank you again zeal!!!#also omw to pick something for u holdup 🏃#rosio #lucis

5 notes · View notes

clay-pidgeon · 5 months

Note

you keep talking about eridan pyrope

give us the deets

eridan is a character who i do Not fucking like but is also extremely interesting/entertaining to me. so yeah rambles under the cut

heres my “notes” section in his doc

Eridan Pyrope, instead of being a military history obsessed douche, is a law history obsessed douche. It’s just slightly warping his thing so he’s got a sliiiightly different lense to be a dick about. On the “i’m mean to Eridan” note: what the fuck is up with that trolltag? I came up with it, but it’s still kinda stupid. “Garnishment” refers to a very specific law thing (it’s like an auspitice for owed money I think? Phrasing it for the homestucks) that isn’t particularly applicable to what Eridan Pyrope does (which is be a shithead lawyerboy) and “corrupt” is just outwardly stating he’s a dick with an interestingly warped view of justice. His quirk is me turning v and w upside down—look at that, it’s an n and a m. This leads to a couple weird cases of pronunciation, but I don’t really care enough about this guy to expand on that. “Innsanne” kinda looks weird and you might pronounce it with a short a. Bam, done, I don’t have to talk about this guy anymore. His situation with Feferi is similar to how it is in canon, but with the added danger of Flarping—they’re moirails, he wants to be matesprits, she doesn’t really want to be either and just wants to stop having to deal with all his melodramatic Eridan bullshit. Rightfully so.

i could talk at length about how i frequently go “eridan sucks and i dont like him” in this thing, but nevertheless write about himfor 200 straight words. i literally say “I don’t have to talk about this guy anymore” and then…talk about him more . Right after explaining a bit of his quirk i explicitly stated i didnt want to talk about. my thing about eridan is that, yeah, i dont like him (the murder, the “nice guy” thing, the genocide-y tendencies) but hes also VERY interesting to me. hes just so shitty in a way thag entertains me. obligatory “he was raised on Planet Murder” also. tldr Eridan is so shitty and interesting about how shitty he is

a thing i didnt touch on in the note is his classpect, newly pyroped, is prince of mind—destroyer of logic, i guess. as a prince, he embodies the aspect of heart which is pretty literal in his (if failed) romantic endeavors and emotion-driven decisioms (he IS 13 tho tbf) AND hes driven to irrationality Very Very Notably in bloodswitch murderstuck

since every fucking plotline i think of has to be stupidly circular and complicated (i didnt even touch on bloodswitch hivebent, which is even MORE convoluted but doesnt include eridan in a large way) bloodswitch murderstuck is a chain of events: feferi serket goes missing on the meteor, eridan gets anxious and starts pointing fingers, goes grimdark (like in canon) and starts murdering (rip vriska. for like 10 minutes) and knocks equius vantas unconscious, also revealing his blood color. then eridan pyrope gets vengefully murdered by a clown catgirl right as feferi returns from her meteor exploration trip . it gets worse from there probably but thats the main thing

i reference him having a v warped sense of justice in my notes—specifically calling him “corrupt.” (hes 13 jesus fuck me from. last night. this was an exaggeration tho) i think the guy uses law and justice to further his own agenda, probably in a similar way to the “made for each other” thing in feferis case, and also as a way to exert control in a kinda mind-y way, citing logic in more emotion-based decisions he makes to justify (hehehehe) them

his ancestor (they are unnamed rn :[) was murdered by nepetas, because i heart funky parallels forever and ever and also because dualscar got murdered by ghb in canon so thats pretty easy. he was probably some sort of personal lawyer of cerulean condesce? unsure. point is this funky little lawyerboy is getting so many words out of my idiot head

#dove chirps #my stuff #homestuck #dove asks #bloodswap #bloodswitch

8 notes · View notes

ambalambs · 2 months

Note

What is Miko's relationship with each of the other scions like? Is there any that he gets along with better than the others? Are there any he just doesn't vibe with as much for whatever reason?

Hmm there really isn't any of the scions miko doesn't get on well with. They're all basically his family at this point and he loves each of them very much in different ways for different reasons. But I'll go into more detail under the cut here in case this gets too long lol

So first off of course his favorite absolute bestie love of his life scion is g'raha lol they just got on so well back during crystal tower. Tbh miko really did see g'raha as basically his first actual true friend since he wasn't just someone he met from his work with the scions so losing him so quickly was rough. But everything is good now and they can be dorky idiots together forever \o/

I really think miko is extremely close with the twins. Theyre basically like younger siblings to him and he'd fight tooth and nail to keep them safe. They remind him a lot of his younger brother and sister back home and so he goes into ultimate big bro miko mode a lot with them. He does seem to have a slight softer spot for alphinaud just because of all they experienced together throughout hw. And during a moment of weakness after haurchefant died miko shared his real name with alphinaud so the kiddo was the first out of the scions to ever learn it. However that doesn't mean he's not incredibly close with alisaie lol those two together are a powerhouse of playful rivalries and miko knows if he is up for some chaos then alisaie will no doubt stand beside him. It sometimes breaks his heart how much she seems to worry about him tho.

His second bestie next to g'raha is definitely estinien tho. They just have so many things they can relate to together and there is so much comeraderie between them. Also there is probably a single braincell shared between them when they're together lol miko is a lot more easy going and playful tho so I imagine there is a lot of eye rolling from estinien when miko gets going. The only time miko had difficulty with estinien was back in hw with estinien's drive for revenge. Miko struggled with that in himself a lot and just to see how destructive it became for his friend really shook him.

As for thancred, miko absolutely respects and loves thancred to bits. There has never been a single moment miko has doubted thancred would have his back no matter what. Even after the whole ifrit or lahabrea stuff miko never lost his trust in him. This has also kinda led to miko feeling pretty comfortable in confiding in thancred when he needs to without feeling like he needs to keep up strength and appearances. Theyve seen each other at their worst and that just creates a bond that can't be broken.

I feel like if there's gonna be any scion that I could say miko doesn't entirely "vibe" with itd probably have to be y'shtola. Only in the sense that she is very smart and intense and miko will sometimes feel very small and dumb in her presence lol being in the scions full of smart people isn't always easy for him cuz he doesn't have their level if education. But he still adores y'shtola. She is another one he knows he can always trust no matter what and he finds her power and strength of will something he strives to match. He also does love how she can dish back any teasing he can give and absolutely obliterate him lol

And as for him and urianger, well thats been a complicated one over the course of their journey. Urianger has fascinated miko since he met him. His fancy way of talking is definitely something miko was initially drawn to cuz he just found himself engrossed in whatever topic urianger would lecture him on. But its the lies and deceptions urianger has engaged in that led to some bumpy moments for miko. Not in the sense he's angry at urianger for anything he did. Its that it always seems like urianger seemed to think miko wouldn't trust him cuz miko does wholeheartedly trust and understand him and why he'd always done things the way he did. Miko just wants them to be as close as he is with everyone else and they seem to be now after everything in ew. So now he just likes to sit with urianger and observe and listen to whatever the guy is studying lol miko may also try to sneak in some triple triad cards into urianger's ast card deck just to see how he'd react xD

That covers the main crew tho I think yeah? Except for like krile and tataru which he of course gets one super well with them too. He likes to poke krile for funny stories about the twins. And he love love l o v e s tataru so much! A good number of his scarves are no doubt made by her at this point and he cherishes all of them. So yeah basically the scions could do no wrong in Miko's eyes lol theyre his big family now and sure there's some ups and downs, some times where he'd like to smack a couple of them on the noggin but he loves them all so much and would do anything for them.

As an aside too he misses papalymo a lot ;^; he didn't want to leave him behind on baelsar's wall. And he still misses minfilia a lot and it weighs on him he couldn't do more to have saved her 😔 she meant a lot to him and he learned so much about himself and the echo and everything from her and he just wishes they couldve had more time.

#oh gosh I hope that didnt end up being way longer and more of an answer than you expected lol #i had many thoughts about the family lol #miko jinjahl

4 notes · View notes

flaray25 · 9 months

Text

A Therapy Friend By Your Side

THIS FIC IS SOMEHOW CAN RELATE TO HOW PEOPLE ARE STRUGGLING/DEALING WITH DEPRESSION EVEN IF HOW I AM TOO.

From the saddest moments of Squidward's life, had pressured him down to his knees. Falling hard from depression as he pressumed. Crying harder and harder from second by second, he was lonely.

A lonely old person who would die all alone that no one would come even if he died. Much better for him if he was DEAD already. But he couldn't do that either.

Squich came around, she was far off like how childish Spongebob would act. And sometimes she's just like how Squidward acts from time to time, but she's not that mean like him.

Into the space where he-himself alone...

Got down to his knees and cried. He didn't know what he was even doing. He didn't know why he ended up like this. Day by day, penny from penny, bills, bills, loans, bills again, some payments...

He was tired. He was unlucky, a loser, a loner, a sad and stupid ugly-

A plop of footsteps can be heard approached to him.

Squiches Millfenson. What was she doing here? Can't she see how down Squidward is right now? How- disgusting he looks? Why? Would some octopus like her would come up to the likes of him? He was an outcast.

"It's you." His voice deepened the tone, "are you here to also make fun of me?" "No, but I'm here to talk things out." She leaned against the wall right beside to Squidward.

"What could you possibly say anything? You're just like the rest of them- even Spongebob says that- that- stupid- COMFORT TALK!" He slammed his tentacles down to the ground. Anger roared, but sadness ruled over. Tears overflowed his eyes.

He knew he was weak.

"And so what if he still goes on with those comfort talks? Squidward, he cares about you. No matter how much he tried, he always thought about you to!"

"He's insane... he's not my friend! I DONT EVER consider him my friend! Spongebob is... he's..."

The cephalopod grumbled.

"Insufferable and- a doofus- NEPTUNIC- IDIOTIC- MORON! He doesn't know what I'm going through! He doesn't know WHY I'm like this! He-"

"Even tho Spongebob couldn't help dealing with your own pains- atleast he tried... He literally came to you, he hugged you, he made sure you weren't alone from those darkest hours in your entire life. Squidward Tentacles. Have you forgotten? Spongebob may not know what you've been through- but he kept you company, he stayed there and listened to the problems you've dealt with. Your unluckiest moments turns to the luckiest thing when he's there. Call it a luck but- you're lucky to have him."

Squidward's eyes were staring down at his own tentacles, could what have Squich been saying was true? Was he really "Lucky" to consider that SquarePants. Was the only one he needed? A bit of a joy- a positive side. Ray of his sunshine to make those things he kept to him. Fade away?

"You... you... c-can't- be serious... him?" "Trust me on this Squidward but to me honestly, if you didn't have Spongebob with you, what would you be in this situation right now?"

Squich pointed out to his tentacles. The urge of what the cephalopod was saying, was ridiculous to say. He should've thought first before he act.

Until it hit him suddenly..

"You're... you're just like me..." his head rose to look at her, her eyes staring down to the octopus feeling bad.

After he said those words, she stayed silent. Squich is a complicated person but she has the heart to pour it in.

Her gaze looked down to the ground, feeling her own emotions rise tense. That nostalgic yet a pain feeling. The traumatizing days she fought. She kept. Silent.

"God- dammit- You- YOU! You've been through something like this and you turned out- COMPLETELY FINE! I-" He couldn't believe it.

She had it burried down there inside of her.

Sadness and pity.

Empty and hollow.

Burden and lonely.

Like his.

But she turned out just like Spongebob.

Happy and Caring

Kind and sweet

Nice and optimisstic.

Like Spongebob.

... everything turned out fine for her... why... WHY...

Why couldn't Squidward do the same?

"You... son of a- everything worked out fine for you! You're completely stable! How... HOW... WHY..." Squidward looked at Squich who frowned by looking at Squidward.

Such pain Squidward kept inside him.

"WHY... WHY CAN'T YOU CRY?!"

"BECAUSE I CAN'T!"

Squich's loud voice shut him up...

Everything, her expression, her action, her emotion...

She was showing her truth.

That look from her face completely shook Squidward, Squich realize what she was doing. "I- I mean..." she backed away covering her mouth for a moment.

"Someone... once told me... 'crying is for the weak' I don't cry in order to not break my Father's rule. And especially even if how weak I am right now, I come to pretend that I was some strong and brave person even if I'm not."

She slowly sat to the ground, thinking about those darkest days of her life. Gave her a headache just by looking back at it.

"We can relate Squidward, but we're not the same. We can relate to saddest things, darkest past. But they aren't all the same. I changed for the better, because I moved it all. They were all in the past, it may be stuck on your head for that but you had to fight it, ignore them. And think about the bright side of life. Because that's what we're worth of fighting for, worth of surviving for."

"If those darkest memories you have doesn't stop, they really matter. It doesn't mean that if you're a loser then you'll continue to down grade yourself and say that you really 'are' a loser and continuously you'll keep on repeating whatever negative things people say to you then turn out to be the bad and meanest person you are. Then you aren't changing, you're suffering even more."

Squidward also leaned his head from the wall right beside Squich hearing her talk.

"If someone says- you suck. Do you want to believe that you ACTUALLY suck? Suck on something? Talentless? Loser? A nobody? No. No one has the right to intrude to how your brain is interacting with those bad thoughts and process to your heart to cry it all about it. Even if you kept it there for too long. It's not right. If it's pointless to them then SCREW those people."

"You Squidward Tentacles, are a talent and have lack of passion between arts and music. You have your own purpose. And a life. And no one can just say those meanest words for you to think bad stuff. Because once you did, you can never get it out. But you can if you could atleast try. Like how Spongebob did to his own."

"You can't assume someone who seems to live all happy and doesn't care at all- doesn't have these bad things. Some also happen to have this- even for him. For you as well. But you know how Spongebob did it? He bloomed. He changed. He decided to ignore those words away as if like they were just bugs. Like how I did it. And it would be your turn once you have the courage for it.

You must fight. And live."

Squich gets up on her feet, looking down at Squidward once again to lend him a tentacle.

"So I'm asking you this once again- are you gonna let this remain or are you gonna fight it? Because no one atleast you, deserve to deal with it."

His eyes were now staring at Squich's tentacle, he had no idea how Squich had manage to talk atleast all of these things- these feelings- Squidward had dealt with- and just- made him rethink again.

For those words to turn out to be letters all scrambled up from his head like it meant nothing at all.

Spongebob had dealt with it from the past, he faced it back whenever their boss took the spotlight of reminding him he was simple.

And he didn't care about those words after Eugene said that. After the town was saved all again by the poriferan himself with his team.

Squich was empathetic, much to Squidward's greatfulness to have her understand.

"No, I won't think much about it and start looking for the bright side as long as it makes me feel great." He caught her tentacle and gets up from the ground.

"Good, as much as I could tell- Spongebob is probably-" from a distance there was Spongebob waving at her and Squidward.

"Yep he's right there-" "Squich thank you... for speaking out loud... I was... kind of a jerk-" "don't say that to yourself- it was completely your big assumption between of how good a persons life is remains all good with no problems to deal with. Besides from all of that- you don't need to feel sorry for yourself about it."

Squidward wiped his tears before Spongebob could see him close. "Squich! Squidward! I knew it was you two! I could recognice you guys almost clearly far away- anyway- what's up? Why does it look like Squidward was crying?" "No I wasn't crying!" The cephalopod defended himself.

"But it looked like you were... you know what? Nevermind- maybe I was delusional- ahem- I wanted to ask if it's okay for me to invite you two for a 'hang out' this weekend?" Squich looked at Spongebob with a smile, eyeing to her side. Squidward was definitely staring at Spongebob. She could tell.

"Not me- I'm sure Squidward could if he wants to! I have upcoming commissions to finish and especially those hardest details-" a buzz on her phone caught their attention.

She pulled it out to read the front screen that it was from her sister. "Oops- that's my que- gotta go!" Squich purposely pushed Squidward to take the hand of answering his question and leaves.

While running towards the location to her house, she smiled. How lovely the day was, how nice it is outside, more happy she could ever be to know that someday Squidward would change into a better person because someone right there who is mostly right next to him keeps them away.

It's not too late to change. Especially to other people.

Change isn't something to mention about-

It's meant to bloom.

Darkest days fade them away

By a simple person who can talk to you

To let it all out

To have someone there

Atleast for the good.

It's something worth you're fighting for.

A lady dropped her wallet as Squich hurriedly picked it up before a man steals it and kicked his face without making the lady pay attention.

She sneakly puts it back to her bag without her knowing and ran happily.

She was glad to help someone.