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#jake sweetbitter
lenreli · 6 months
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sturridges · 1 year
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Jake: flirting edition
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tarotoftheendless · 4 months
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Maybe I am not the first person to notice this, and I think I read a comment of someone's a while ago that just stated how they thought the director of Sweetbitter just told Tom to come in his actual clothes that were just a bit edgy or something shit, but Tom either kept the Sweetbitter sweater/cardigan he wore for Season 2 or that was just Tom's actual sweater/cardigan that he showed up on set with and the director just shrugged and let him do it. Out of all of Jake's outfits, this one is more like Tom than the rugged bad boy bartender Jake.
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rey-jake-therapist · 6 months
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Tom leaves me no other choice than going back to write Jake smut. I've got to put all these filthy thoughts SOMEWHERE!
I mean, he did that for me, I know it:
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gali-in-distress · 1 year
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Tom Sturridge characters alignment chart
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I'm in class and bored, have this
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widowswinter · 3 days
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tiktok isn’t enough, everyone must be subjected to the videos i took of him
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An Acquired Taste | Jake x FReader
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Synopsis: You bring Jake to Long Island's Oyster Fest
Tags: Voyeurism if you squint, with a light dash of angst; Alcohol consumption; Smoking
Words: 9.3K
And thank you to @ursulaismymiddlename who deals with my Jake fixation with nothing but grace.
Link to AO3
There’s not much of a fully formed memory left over from the previous night, except for the little inconsequential detail that it was meant to be an early one. 
It had been a typical Saturday evening shift. Fast-paced, stressful, and with the forever presence of snobby clientele. Though, in the restaurant's defense, most of the work week flowed with a similar rotation. But last night was the first Saturday in years you wouldn’t dare keep track of where the Sunday that followed was a day off, and apparently that translated to being amenable to the notion of getting fucked up.
That wasn’t the plan originally. Originally, you were meant to call it immediately after closing. You didn’t even dare to attempt partaking in shift drinks, simply vanished to the lockers to stuff any dirty laundry in a bag because dammit you’d get an early start to said day off and be able to freely partake in a chore and the event you had taken the day off for in the first place. 
That was until a certain bartender asked if you’d be going to Home Bar, and fuck if he didn’t have a face you could say no to. 
You’re sat next to him now, feeling like a teenager as the pair of you among a crowd of strangers get crammed onto a school bus headed for downtown Oyster Bay. 
“Is someone a little too hungover?” he murmurs into your ear. And maybe it’s not just the bus that makes you feel like an adolescent girl. The seats are too narrow, meant for literal children. And Jake is practically on top of you in the small space.
When you glance up at him, the rim of your sunglasses brush the sharp-edged jut of his cheek and, in your stupor, you try desperately not to stare at his lips. 
You grin reassuringly, even if the chatter surrounding you seems a little too loud at the moment. It’ll get better once you’re let outside and don’t have the odor of pervasive burning rubber and oil combined with the heady scent of him flooding your senses, you’re certain. “I’m fine, came and got you didn’t I?” 
He tilts his head back in appraisal, lips slightly parted as he considers his response. Unlike you, sunglasses don’t cover his eyes, so the striking blue hue of them is a perfect sea struck by sunlight anyone could drown in. 
“Good,” he settles on. Then somewhat reluctantly adds - “Because I uh -” there’s a huffing noise akin to a chuckle that hones your attention more than anything thus far. It’s sheepish, almost. “I’m actually. I’ve been looking. Forward -”
“Holy shit.”
“Don’t fuckin’ say anything.”
You bite your lip to temper the expression growing on your face. “Is - is Jake excited about something?” 
“No,” he says quickly. But his voice is soft, so soft in fact that you can barely hear it over the sliding doors of the bus slamming to a close and the engine revs, beginning its departure from the local train station. Jake shifts in the seat; consequentially pressing you closer to the window and his eyes dart around and he can deny all he wants but it’s weak and you don’t believe him in the slightest. You can’t help but wonder when was the last time he’d gotten out of the city. Away from the restaurant, or had maybe done something he truly enjoyed that goes against the fucking thick facade he dons daily.
But when his gaze seeks out yours once more, it’s almost like he can read your thoughts. Get the gist of your own excitement for him, the hangover actively taking a steady backseat to the fact that you’re treating him to something with such good effect. He visibly relaxes, eyes flitting about your face. 
“Don’t talk.” 
You’ll take that. Perfectly content with spending the ride watching the town pass by through the window with him comfortably pressed against you. A win’s a win.
~
It’s right in the middle of October, and as much as you love living in the city, one of the few things you actually miss about Long Island is witnessing the more flush change in season. Summer weather is a thing of the past, bleeding into the picturesque full bloom of autumn. What was green is now vibrant yellows and luscious reds. When it’s bright and sunny like today, the temperature is just warm enough that one doesn’t need a coat, and then fades into cozy crisp air under the blanket of night. 
IIt’s your favorite time of the year, and just so happens to coincide with Oyster Fest. 
The annual festival practically shuts down the entire town while thousands of people flock in attendance. Traffic is barely more than a halted complete stop, there isn’t a lick of parking for miles, and sidewalks brim with activity as bars, restaurants and shops all remain open for business, and the swarm only thickens once the bus deposits its passengers between a clearing of town parks and baseball fields located directly beside the Bay. 
To the immediate right are typical fair attractions; cheap fried foods and beer, a Ferris Wheel among other classic yet suspiciously rickety rides, including a Funhouse and the Zipper. Scattered snugly among them are grids of carnival game stations and - at this early hour of the afternoon - it is entirely overrun with families and groups of teenagers. 
But straight ahead lies the main attraction. Metal barricades form a path that leads the crowd, and you with Jake in tow, to the cleared out lots ahead. Except it’s not so clear now, quite the opposite. The heads of dozens of booths stick out atop the throngs of people. Each one ran, you know, by various vendors from all over the tri-state area, and each one selling anything from varieties of food, to homemade goods and trinkets. 
The layout is roughly the same as you remember and the medley of aromas make you salivate. Being hungover is a bygone thing and instead, your stomach growls with a not so subtle rumble thanks to opting against breakfast that morning. You pass a knowing look over your shoulder, eyeing Jake with interest, only to find delight in the way he surveys the landscape of food, drink, and the sparkling view of the Long Island Sound posing as a charming backdrop to it all.
“Oysters for days, but I’m assuming you want to hit that first?” 
The hint of a rare, genuine smile is nothing short of chuffed before he’s even looked at you, and when he does, it’s as he draws on a pair of shades.
“Desperately.” 
Maneuvering through the herd of people is no easy feat. It’s all high energy and excitement; even at a distance from across the lot, the voice of a miked up emcee booms from the main stage and an audience roars over an oyster eating or shucking competition. Queues are nearly indistinguishable as you pass through a section dedicated to gumbo and jambalaya, clam chowder and lobster bisque. You almost trip over a leashed dog and instinct makes you reach a hand out behind you, not wanting to get separated, and Jake takes it without question, letting you steer him ahead. 
The soft weight of it feels so natural tucked around yours that it barely becomes a distraction like it might’ve in any other circumstance. Not until you reach the tented area closest to the pier. There’s a swirling assembly line of people waiting to approach it like they would a ride in a theme park and you sidle in once a gap reveals itself. Only then do you fret over having to let his hand go because - well - you don’t particularly want to.
"Uh, hello?"
And just like that, the moment is over. Both of your heads simultaneously turn toward the sound of the annoyed voice and find a group of boys behind you. The one in front gestures vaguely, eyebrows raised as he huffs impatiently.
"There's like, a line going on here? You have to wait in line."
The snappy intrusion was annoying on its own, but now you're fucking hungry and mere moments away from delicious relief; you stiffen at the accusation with a flood of irritation.
"The fuck's it look like we're doing?" you snap back without hesitation. 
Jake snorts at your outburst, but otherwise it appears to be effective as the guy's body language seems to relax.
"Shit, alright. My bad."
You scoff and turn back around to catch up to the pace of the line ahead, and when you stop, Jake presses close enough to your backside that he can lean down to speak subtly along the rim of your ear. 
"You're either very confident, or you just totally cut the line without realizing."
"Hm?" His deep voice makes your skin tingle, a sensation you’ve well practiced to endure over time. "Wait. What?"
"I mean, I don't fuckin' mind. That was kind'a cute. I think you scared him."
"Are you serious-?" 
You chance a glance back, grateful for wearing sunglasses so that you can look around inconspicuously. And sure enough, the line continues much farther back than where you started. Significantly farther.
"Oh my god, I swear I had no idea-"
"Shhh.. Just keep walking," Jake's hands are on your shoulders with a gentle nudge forward, not remotely trying to contain his amusement while you flush with mortification. "We're committing now."
Indeed you are, but quite frankly - and yes, cutting is bad, it's rude, you'd tell anyone off for doing the same - it ultimately works out for the best and with very little regret because a moment later, you're blanketed by the shade of the expansive tent.
Beneath it lie rows of picnic tables, one after the other, and dozens of volunteers flit around in a blur of quick movements as oysters come piling in on trays by the (literal) boatful. They work in practiced motions, cleaning and shucking and plating the morsels, while others working the counters tend to visitors and shuffle around whole wads of cash. 
It's a five for five deal, and the operation is so speedy that before you know it, you've handed over a ten dollar bill and come away with two plates and a lemon slice each. There’s a condiment station just outside the tent’s perimeter, and while Jake walks past it - you know he prefers his oysters straight up - you stop for hot sauce and a dollop of horseradish, some napkins and a fork just in case. 
He meanwhile moseys over to a space out of the way of foot traffic over by the pier, making for quite the sight. And by it, you definitely don’t mean the water. Jake is dressed in his usual attire, a leather jacket and jeans combination. But today he surprised you with a button up-shirt printed with a variety of colors woven into wild patterns that somehow manages to actually work, and it’s up for debate if it’s because of the shirt itself or because it’s him. When you’d arrived at his apartment earlier, you’d done a triple take, unable to recall ever seeing him wear color at all - which of course was received with a smartass remark. 
But the sunlight reflected off the surface of the water casts Jake in a perfect halo as if he’s being showcased. Skin opalescent in its brightness, throat bare to the mild air as he tilts his head back and raises an oyster to his rosy-pink lips. 
You were fucked, but you save face as you approach, content to be happy with how he appears to be enjoying himself while he too balances two plates on one hand.
“They meet your exceptional standards?” you sass.
“Yes,” he states, simple and firm, and you finally take the pleasure of digging into your own. 
With the slice of lemon, you squeeze a healthy trickle of juice over the shells, poke a morsel with a fork to be sure it’s properly shucked, then pick the first one up. Your mouth is already watering by the time it reaches your lips and you knock it back with a gentle slurp. It greets you at once with a flavor both briny and sweet, mingling with the spicy tang of the hot sauce, lemon and horseradish, all wrapped up with a pleasantly refreshing chill that resonates deep within your gullet. 
“Better than the restaurant,” he continues; your mumbled agreement is unintelligible as you rush for seconds. “Better than the Cape, though?” You peer up at him suspiciously, slowly chewing around your next mouthful. He’s starting to reek of mischief and tilts his head in mocking consideration. “I don’t know, can’t make up my mind.” 
“Is someone sounding a little competitive?” 
Jake grins and you’re relieved his eyes are hidden behind a pair of sunglasses. “Of course not.”
“This is because of the clam chowder, isn’t it.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he lies, bound to have seen the booth.
You mull over a response and suck down another oyster. “I suppose a lobster roll is out of the question?” 
“I didn’t say that.” He suddenly steps closer; you need to crane your neck a little higher to look up at him, and then his hand closes the distance between you. His thumb grazes somewhere below the curve of your lip, swiping at some wayward remnant of lemon juice or briny moisture or who cares what, only to draw it back to his mouth where he flicks at it with the tip of his tongue. “I’m still hungry.”
~
Not a single coherent thought graces your mind with its presence, and if possible he seems further delighted by this. He lights up with a smile before grabbing your hand, and it’s a struggle to find your footing and keep the rest of your oysters upright when he drags you along. “C’mon, let’s go.”
Once some proper food is in your stomachs, it’s decided that splitting up is the best option to cover more ground. Oysters may flow constantly throughout the weekend, but historically it’s not unheard of for other vendors to sell out of supply before the day is over. And as the crowd only peaks as the afternoon goes on, Jake is surprisingly up to task and it is.. Nice.
When it comes to the restaurant, there is no doubt that with the long hours, post-shift late night outings, and occasionally the spaces in between, that those you work with consume the majority of your life. But Jake is.. Different. Admittedly, he’s an asshole, with a wickedly dry sense of humor and a passing dislike for the general public. Things you aren’t necessarily opposed to. Things that, admittedly, you have in common. You like him. He’s an actual friend. It just so happens that sometimes you want him a little bit more than that. 
It is a fact that you are more than content to deal with, even if today makes it more of a challenge. Today is more than the shared cigarette breaks and the moments of hiding out in the walk-in, and it feels a far cry still beyond those late night outings with the rest of the crew. This is proper fucking bonding and perhaps it would be less daunting if Jake didn’t appear to be enjoying it so fucking much.
You take turns holding a place in line while the other will wander off in search of something else, only to reconnect immediately after to split the reward, sharing quite literally, whether it be off the others’ plate or via an outstretched hand. The strategy sees you through to the aforementioned clam chowder (a satisfying win as Jake - who adamantly refused to approve of the creamy soup - wound up stealing the last ounce of it by snatching your wrist to guide the final spoonful toward his greedy mouth), grilled scallops and octopus, steamed mussels, and eventually a lobster roll.
At other times you merely stand aside and watch as Jake schmoozes with vendors. He asks questions with an uncharacteristic interest, oozing enough charm that they inevitably offer up a small sample of something to taste for free. 
The oyster tent remains a frequented spot. The queue has grown; has more than doubled in size since your initial stop, even as it manages to maintain the assembly line pace. Two pints of locally brewed beers are cradled close to your chest as you depart what’s considered the designated alcohol tent. It’s separated from the rest of the festival, an enormous setup that requires a stamp on the wrist to gain entry. Inside is cold beer on tap, a limited selection of Long Island wines, and a projector screen that will air this week’s Sunday night football. The crowd packed inside is far from small.
You bob and weave your way back to where Jake waits, ready to purchase another ten or so oysters (you both lost count after thirty), slipping through a thicket of people so dense that you focus on keeping the drinks upright, and don’t so much as notice the two young women chatting him up - until you’re just a few arms lengths away and come to an abrupt halt.
Well, fuck.
It’s being too used to seeing this type of scene play out that makes you check the time, a part of you wondering if Jake’s about to bail and disappear with the both of them. In your defense, it wouldn’t be the first time; his reputation precedes him and it certainly isn’t unearned. His ability to attract may sometimes seem beyond the point of his own control - you’ve often wondered if it comes with the territory of being a bartender - but he has never been above easily taking what’s thrown his way either.
Their appearances likely mean little to Jake, he’s nondiscriminating that way. But upon second glance, you are all too familiar with their type. One of them is a tall brunette, the other a softball-built-yet-petite blond. Both clad head to toe in yacht club gear: pleated shorts and polo shirts, brown leather boat shoes. Even their headbands practically match in bright elastic shades of pastel. 
They’re North Shore girls. And a guy like Jake tempts in the form of parental rebellion and a potential connect for drugs. Whatever reservations you briefly experience are brushed aside, and now there’s little hesitation as you sidle up beside him, interrupting their conversation with a light nudge against his elbow. 
“Your beer,” you announce, with eyes only for him. 
Jake looks down at you, head cocked with a knowing grin. There’s something soft there too, difficult to see through the sunglasses, but you can sense it nonetheless. 
“Thanks, babe,” he says, voice a gentle rumble. He takes the beer and before you know it, his arm is wound across your shoulders and he leans in, ducking down until those rosy lips meet yours in a gentle kiss. 
There are few times you find yourself grateful for drunken mishaps of the past, and this split second happens to be one of them. For if you hadn’t kissed Jake prior to this, hadn’t felt the silk of his lips caught in a suspended moment of pleasure, perhaps the effect could melt you to your knees. As it stands, your lashes flutter across the tips of his cheeks. Without bidding, your mouth responds, drifting along the seam of his, and it’s lucky he moves with it even if it’s smugness you sense that drives him. 
For a second you almost manage to forget what’s brought this on, but then there’s that prickling sensation of being watched. By a pair of ogling stares, specifically. You force yourself apart from Jake and clear your throat, grateful your voice is stronger than you could’ve guessed as you survey his current company. “Making friends?”
The girls emit enough dismay at your arrival to stroke an ego, but not without a glare and a roll of their eyes. The brunette crosses her arms under her chest with a drawl of - “We were just talking,” while the blonde ignores you completely, focusing on Jake with an accusatory - “You didn’t mention -”
“My girlfriend,” Jake finishes smoothly, and you resist the urge to balk at him. “She’s showing me around her hometown.” 
“Close enough,” you retort dryly. Your actual hometown is out farther east, a little detail that matters to precisely no one at the moment. Apart from your arrival, your presence is barely acknowledged. The twin glares stay trained on Jake, put out and bitter as they half turn to catch up with the rest of the line. “Maybe we’ll see you around.” 
“That was salty,” you snark once they’re out of earshot. Though not quite out of sight, as you both trail slowly behind them. “I’m your girlfriend now?”
He doesn’t outright laugh, but from being nestled against him (his arm has stubbornly stayed in place), you can feel something close to it as he mulls it over.
 “Consider us even.”
You scoff and sputter immediately. “That was one time!” The time in question being at a disco, of all places. A creep had been harping on getting your number and then some. Everyone was too busy dancing to notice except for Jake who - thanks to his antisocial tendencies - was reliably stationed at the bar. He was more than welcoming to your advances, and the strange man left you alone after that. 
“Works pretty fuckin’ well though, huh?”
He’s not wrong, you admit, and relent a little at that. “Fine. I’ll allow it.” And if you feel emboldened by both the title of endearment and the public display of affection, well, you will simply refuse to look at it much more deeply than that… Even if, admittedly, your voice comes out a little flirty when you go on to add - “But if I’m your girlfriend, then that makes this a date and -”
Jake’s pained groan echoes inside his cup as he takes a long pull of beer. 
“And we’re at a festival which means you have to win me a prize at one of those shitty carnival games.” 
He stops short, forcing you to stop with him, and fixes you with a glare. It lasts a breath too long, but you stand your ground, refusing to give under the weight of it, when eventually -
“I fuckin’ rock at shitty carnival games.”
Your face splits with a grin, and a smirk tugs at his. 
“Guess you’re gonna have to prove it.”
~
But before any games, there is one last stop that can’t be missed: a lobster dinner for a measly twenty bucks. No such deal would exist anywhere either on Long Island or back in the city, and anyone who deemed themselves a lobster lover would be foolish to pass up on the offer. One that likely wouldn’t last much longer this late in the day.
So when you manage to anxiously outlast the line, you’re grateful once you both walk away with a plate each in hand, and for the last iota of room in your belly that still has an appetite. 
The both of you assume a spot at a picnic table - few and far between, and shared with a trio of friends who occupy the opposite half - with Jake perched on top of it, and you sat on the bench beside his legs. In near silence now as you chow down as if eating hasn’t been the sole productivity of the day. The lobster is perfectly steamed, not dry, an error all too easy to make, and with a half-ear of corn and quarter-pound cup of melted butter as accompaniments.
There is a nagging thought, though. One you’ve been mulling over since parting ways with the two obvious up-to-no-good snobs. You peer up at Jake while you finish chewing, already moving on to cracking open a claw, having an inner debate on whether it’s worth it or not to bother mentioning. Jake is.. Well, private isn’t exactly the correct term. In the time you’ve known him, he can be almost too open with certain topics once you get him talking. But it’s rarely too personal, the deep down nitty gritty. And depending on what mood he’s in, he’ll either shut down completely, or bite your head off.
But the day so far has turned in a direction you hadn’t predicted. It’s gone better, much better than you could’ve hoped for when you first took the plunge in inviting him to come with. And in any case, his mood is as good as you’ve ever seen it. His fingers work the lobster tail apart, lips pursed in concentration, an oily sheen to them from the butter and eventually he pauses to take a few gulps of beer. 
He looks fucking gorgeous and you can’t stand it and fuck it -
“So,” you start, noncommittally at first. And you can only tell he’s listening by the raise of his brows. “I.. can’t help but notice that. Y’know.. You didn’t run off with those girls.” 
There’s little reaction to that. The upraised brows drop, he lets out a small huff before forking a couple of bites into his mouth. “You thought I was what - that I was gonna leave you here? Have a fuckin’ coke bender with them? Get laid?” 
“Oh, I knew it!” you snap a tad overzealous. “Sorry. I fucking knew they wanted drugs. Anyway.”
Jake snorts, unbothered by the outburst. “Yeah, I’ve seen the type. They fuck you for drugs, and then their frat sized boyfriends just happen to show up. Conveniently in time to kick the shit out’a you. Rob you, obviously. I like my asshole where it is, thanks.”
You hum around a mouthful of lobster. “Sounds like you’re talking from experience.”
“Or maybe I just know a thing or two about a thing or two,” he sasses back. He takes a bite of his corn on the cob, an act that has no business being attractive and yet -
“People like that over there too, huh?” you ask out of curiosity, and he nods slowly.
“Starting to think this place isn’t too different from the Cape.” 
“Aw, I can see why you miss it so much...” Another thing you have in common; you both happen to share a resounding hatred for where you’re from. The sarcastic remark draws his attention, fixing you with a stare so amused you actually wish he wasn’t wearing sunglasses, simply to see the sharpness of his blue eyes. 
“And I, uh.. I wouldn’t leave you like that.” He speaks slower now, enunciating his words as if it might almost pain him to admit, and eventually he looks away. “I’m actually - enjoying myself. With you. Today. And I don’t feel like pretending.” 
His phrasing sprouts about a dozen or so other questions at once, spurring sudden whiplash in your mind. Interest piques to the point you have to forcibly temper the urge to press him for more, likely to ruin the moment altogether. And in any case, more importantly, lies the admitted sentiment. It's, dare you say, heartwarming. Surprising. 
But you also know that if you acknowledge it aloud, he’ll tell you to fuck off. 
You smile at your plate instead. There’s just the one claw left now. It’s your favorite part, one you would normally savor, except you realize you’ve been slowly picking it apart with your fingers into little tiny unrecognizable pieces, distracted. 
“I wasn’t gonna let you wander off with them anyway. So.”
“Is that right,” Jake asks, and you glance up at him again just to find he casts down an unnaturally bright smile. He’s teasing you. “Feeling jealous?”
“Terribly,” you drawl, but the feigned glare hardly sticks once you can hear him chuckling. “No, I just - I guess I fucking hope that’s not your type, but either way I could tell exactly what they wanted from you. And I didn’t. Want that, I mean.”
“You were protecting me.” Jake muses, and a retort is ready at your teeth that he requires no such protection. But then the fleeting image of a certain tall blond floats to mind like an old bad dream, and you have to stomp it down before it can rise to the surface. Focus instead on quelling the angst that worries at your food. At the more pleasant low timbre of Jake’s voice, not quite done talking. You realize he’s in the middle of a thought you’ve missed the first half of only to catch the tail end. “So why haven’t we?”
“Haven’t what?” you ask cluelessly, in the midst of losing said stress to several healthy swigs of some Long Island pale ale. 
“Why haven’t we had sex?” 
It’s asked so casually, so passive and without hesitation that you choke mid-gulp. There’s a split second of panic, a flashing image of splattering beer all over yourself, and somehow you force yourself to swallow. Nothing more than a few dribbles pass the corners of your lips, and you smear them away with the back of a shaky hand. 
“Fuck, Jake,” you wheeze.
Jake doesn’t laugh at you, not out loud anyway. But there is a noticeable bounce to his shoulders. “Cool. If that’s the term you prefer. Why haven’t we fucked?” 
The glare you send him this time is real, even if it’s less impactful over the rim of your cup. You chug the rest of its contents to ease away the scratchy rasp in your throat. It’s not like you’ve never discussed sexual things with him before, being friends for a time and well - him being him, it’s sort of inevitable. It’s just never been directed toward you, or rather, the two of you together. To the point where on more than one occasion, you’ve been referred to as the girl he ‘skipped’. Equally frustrating and weirdly resonating inadequacy when you feel -
Nope. Not doing that. You slam the empty cup on the table and take the first normal, deep breath you’ve had in recent minutes.
“You’re not available,” you finally tell him.
“I’m not,” he says, clearly disagreeing. 
“Not in the way I need.”
He hums in consideration. “The way you need… That’s what - emotions? Romantic shit? How stimulating.” 
Also exactly the opposite of how he maneuvers through his own entanglements, and so begs the question how it could possibly pertain to you - if that really is something he’s contemplated before. You cock your head at him, absolutely mystified while he’s predictably nonplussed. He drops his plate next to your empty cup, bare to the bones, before gathering the collective trash, and climbs off the picnic table to toss it away. And when he returns, it’s with an outstretched hand, beckoning.
“Let’s go. We can’t leave until I win you something.”
The irony of the situation is not lost on you as you take it, and once again let him pull you along.
~
As it happens, Jake was not kidding when it came to being good at carnival games. 
It starts at the bottle toss booth, a simple enough concept that when he wins the first round on a single throw, you assume it’s a fluke. But then there’s the second round, and the third, and a fourth for (showing off) good measure - and each time without fail, Jake knocks out every bottle on the first throw. He moves on to balloon darts after that and to your (and the booth operator’s) astonishment, Jake is an image of poise, sipping his beer while popping any balloon he aims at. 
“What.. the fuck?” is all you can say as you watch in awe. Of course, you’ve done miserably; haven’t landed any darts, and you could barely even keep up with the bottle toss. But Jake simply looks pleased with himself, providing no explanation to this hidden corner of his personality. Instead, he peruses over the strung up stuffed animals that make up his winnings.
“Which one do you want?” he asks. When you have a hard time finding your voice to answer, he picks out an oversized teddy bear and shoves it into your arms. And for a moment, he doesn’t quite let go. He blinks down at you and you curse the removal of his sunglasses, something about concentration. The icy blue practically glitters beneath the multicolored flashing lights of festival attractions, and all you can do is stand there, dumbly transfixed. 
A slow smile overtakes him. “Next loser buys the drinks.” 
Another series of wins follow in quick succession. You take turns at a variety of shooter games which, lucky for you, requires slightly less skill. Jake may still get first place, but it’s you who shouts in triumph when you don’t come dead last in a water gun race. 
The classic ring toss is the only obstacle that gives him a challenge. A few dollars spent gets a large bucket of little discs that have technically been made to fit around the mouth of a liter sized bottle, but they never quite stick the landing. Jake insists the strategy is all in how it’s thrown, and though he has his own handful of misfires, eventually he smoothly tosses the rings like he would skipping rocks and lands several back to back. 
It’s impressive enough to warrant some cheers from onlookers; other players who are about as successful as you in their attempts. All the while, Jake’s gloating is a quiet kind; he tilts his head and bats his eyelashes at you, and frankly you’re too astonished to mind.
“You’re like, amazing,” you tell him. 
He straightens immediately like he’s been pinched, and the rosy blemish that suddenly warms his cheeks is all the smug victory you need.
What started simply with just a teddy bear turns into a giraffe with cartoonishly wide plastic eyes. Then a big blue shark with felt teeth, and finally largest of all, a neon green snake with a frilly pink tongue. It's so long, it curls over Jake’s shoulders and still almost brushes the ground while he waits for you to return from the bathroom. 
It’s a sight you have to pause and photograph to memory; notoriously moody, scowling Jake wrangling cute stuffed animals in a chokehold while he smokes a cigarette. You try to keep from laughing but the alcohol in your system does nothing to help. You’re not completely toasted, no, but the buzz in your veins keeps your face flushed, and you cannot stop smiling as you make your way back to him.
The pair of you had lost complete track of time while the afternoon lost itself to twilight, and the Sound now reflects the glowing blues and purples of the sky. Nearby, the school buses are still on their rotation. Families climb on board with their children to depart for things like dinner. Most of the food vendors have closed out for the day, save for the typical carnival fare - soft pretzels, popcorn, corn dogs and such - but the Bay stays thrumming as the crowd shifts into the rowdiness of nightlife activities. 
Jake rolls his eyes when he catches you staring. “Having fun?” 
“Oh, yes,” you emphasize. “Not as much as you, though, huh?” The next bout of laughter becomes an oof! in a gust of air as he thrusts the stuffed animals at you so fast you have to keep from dropping them. Lastly is the snake, even though it suits him. He thoughtfully pulls your hair aside before tucking it around your neck. “S’that some sort’a Cape boy persona you keep locked up in hiding?” Hands full, you pucker your lips at him expectantly. 
“Somethin’ like that,” he admits. He holds the lit cigarette to your mouth and you gratefully pull a drag or two off of it. The tips of his fingers graze your lips, and his eyes flit toward the light touch. “I was.. Kind of a shithead kid back then. In a pack of other shitheads. We’d steal beer, get drunk off a forty. There was the county fair, or the harbor. Turns out I liked throwing things.” 
It’s a rare detail of his adolescence you’ve never heard before, and you’re cradling a stack of stuffed animals. 
“What about you?”
“I sucked.”
“Wasn’t gonna hold that against you. Makes me look better.”
“I, uh, I would try to find out how much funnel cake I could eat before riding the Zipper without throwing up.”
Jake hums with delight, brows almost disappearing into his hairline. “We could go try that right now.” 
“I did actually. Get thrown up on. By my friend. People could see it from the outside, it was - we don’t have to.” 
For the first time today, Jake laughs. It’s boisterous and at a higher pitch than one could expect, and you love it even if it’s caused by the image of you covered in vomit. It makes a small part of you not want the day to end; this pocket of time where it’s just you, and not the stifled air and bull shit drama of the restaurant. But there’s still the trek back to the city, a bus and a train to catch, and at the thought of it small ounce of dread fills your stomach because fuck -
The LIRR is packed. 
You should’ve predicted as much; it’s not only the Long Island residents that need to get home,  but it’s been a minute since you made such a commute, after an event no less, to have considered its capacity. The train has already left the station, streaks through the county with a steady rock and the occasional flicker of the overhead lights, by the time you manage to find a seat after an off-balance weave through train cars - a lone three seater among a sea of loud passengers.
There’s a large group of rowdy boys, college kids from the looks of it, clearly drunk and a fraction of whom are dressed in matching football jerseys. They shout back and forth at each other across the aisles and over the heads of the girls who sit among them. They make a show of snapping at them to quiet down to no avail; ultimately as uninhibited and shrill as the boys are. And music plays from an unknown source, overpowering the volume of the overhead speakers. There’s only one other quiet pair; two women who share a set of earbuds to watch a cellphone streaming from their laps.
Jake props his boot atop the armrest in front of him the moment you both sit down, a force of habit to prevent anyone else from sitting with you. He receives the odd dirty look from stragglers passing by looking for a seat, only to slouch and nestle into your side in petty retaliation. It’s oddly satisfying, like you can hold onto the illusion of being alone with him just a little longer. 
But they keep shuffling through, and a dirty look evolves into an ahem and an eyeroll, and someone even pauses a second too long, and Jake takes it a step further. You were content to feign ignorance, staring out the window while the exchanges played out, but suddenly he’s dragging your arm over his shoulders. He angles toward you, a warm hand slipping around the curve of your thigh, and then his mouth finds the crook of your neck. Your breath hitches as it tucks itself there, trailing feather light kisses along your skin. 
There’s an audible “Oh, whatever,” and receding footsteps and you can feel him smile into your pulse point.  
“Is that totally necessary?” 
“Mhm.” He withdraws but doesn’t go far. Merely tilts his head back, shifting within the circle of your arm until you’re perfectly level with each other. It’s intoxicatingly close; the tip of his straight nose a hair’s breadth away, his eyelashes a dark blur over his cheeks. You can smell him this close. The smokiness of cologne or body wash, and a hint perhaps of something sweet like shampoo. “I don’t wanna share. And your furry little friends weren’t doing the trick.”
“And kissing me was your call to action, huh?” 
He shrugs noncommittally. “Proved effective. Unless they happened to be into watching random strangers fool around. Not that I mind, but -”
“Oh, is that what we’re doing?” you ask dryly.
“I could be. Open to that.” He licks his lips and you gaze steadily back, trying (with futile effort) not to fluster as he smirks. Acutely aware of the hand on your thigh, how his thumb strokes absentmindedly along the inseam of your jeans, stoking something inside that’s growing harder to ignore. “Wouldn’t be the first time.” 
You scoff, momentarily relieved with the urge to laugh. “If this is about the damn disco again -”
“Actually I was thinking of that time in the walk-in.” 
“.. Ah, yeah. That.” As it turns out, mishaps of the past don’t exclusively refer to isolated incidents. You just refuse to dwell on those moments, knowing they’ll never amount to more than just having fun for Jake. Not that there’s anything wrong with that - your heart skips a beat from simply recalling the memory. But feelings.. Complicate things. 
You’re not going to dwell on that now, either, though. Not when there is little subtlety in the way you both inch closer together. Not when you can feel his breath on your lips. Jake’s head tilts, the bridge of his nose brushes along yours. Attraction thuds in your veins to the point that it’s a chore to find your own voice. “So, what you’re saying is, you’ve become one of my bad habits.”
He makes a noise of amusement, closing what minute space is left between you. “It doesn’t have to be bad.” 
“I said - tickets, please.” 
The conductor’s voice jolts you like being snapped out of a trance. It’s a rude awakening - both the intrusion itself, and the jarring transition back into reality. It’s no wonder neither of you heard the first request. Now an actual football is being lobbed around the train car. A chorus of voices sing along to the music blasting, competing with the echoes of multiple conversations occurring at once. Has it been this loud the whole time?
You disentangle from Jake who appears mostly unbothered but for the slightest of sulks as he reorients himself. He pats around his pockets until fishing out two train tickets from his jacket, then hands them over to the conductor. You watch the scene unfold, baffled. It’s quite possibly the most mundane fucking thing that could be happening right now. 
Once the conductor moves on to the next row, you coo sweetly at Jake. “Aw, hon, thanks again for the ticket.”
“Shut up,” he grumbles, then reassumes the position as if the moment had been merely paused. He reaches for you, slipping a hand around the back of your neck, his thumb teasing along your earlobe, and even if it weren’t for the way his mouth seals seamlessly over yours, you’d still be melting instantly. 
You release a trembling sigh, eyelids fluttering closed at the feel of him yielding as the kiss deepens. Jake’s lips part over yours and you open for him immediately, groaning helplessly when he licks into your mouth. The remnants of cheap beer and cigarettes evaporate into something entirely, pleasantly him. The headiness of his spit, the furl of his tongue. It’s dizzying, and arousing. Your surroundings fade back into white noise yet adrenaline surges through your limbs, leaving you to clutch at him desperately. Seeking purchase in the fabric of his shirt, a sleeve of his jacket, anything you can reach, and one can only assume he warms to the notion from the way his body gives.
He surges even further into you, pressing you as far back as you can go without meeting resistance, and just as you worry the twist of your spine to accommodate might grow tiresome, a series of long dragged out squeaks wheezes from the nondescript pile at your backside.
“Not quite the response I was looking for,” Jake murmurs between kisses.  “Gonna make me regret winning those for you, huh?”
“Not on your life,” you retort, voice a breathless thing. You gaze up at him, swallowing hard at the sight of him like this; pupils dilated, darkening the shade of his eyes with dramatic effect when the lights flicker again. You graze your fingertips over his lips, spit-slick and swollen, then smile and try to tease with - “Think I might just name one after you-”
The thought is abruptly cut short when his mouth descends upon yours once more. His thumb presses into the hinge of your jaw, tongue slipping greedily along yours the moment you part for him. Hungrier this time, as if each interruption only makes him more impatient. His hands quickly trade places; one cups the back of your head, keeping you stubbornly in place as he steals the air from your lungs. While the other threads down the scope of your torso, breezes over your hip and maneuvers beneath your legs and - the comfort is an instant relief when he pulls them over his lap. 
It gives him freer reign this way. You arch into his touch as his fingers slip beneath the hem of your shirt, and he breaks the kiss with gasping breaths. Seeks reprieve in the curve of your jaw. Not remotely dwelling on the wanton display that anyone could simply look over the edge of their seat only to witness him finding the sensitive spot of your throat where his lips pucker and suck, the noises he makes shooting sparks of pleasure deep in your belly. 
“Jake,” you warn through clenched teeth. It’s not so much that you want him to stop - quite the opposite while you try to resist writhing over his lap. It just might make for a small problem while you’re on a fucking train. 
But he makes a disapproving sound, something like a huff in your ear, then sharply nips something fierce around your skin. You lurch despite your efforts, let slip a strangled moan. Then he soothes the mark with the heated drag of his tongue, and you’re melting all over again, whimpering as his breath raises goosebumps along the trail of saliva.
“Just like that.” His voice is breathy, muffled as he kisses his way back up the line of your jaw. “Is that what you like?” 
Fuck, you want him. Little thought is spared on anything but him as his hands never quite stop moving, from grazing your bare rib cage to grabbing your ass. Your needy fingertips card through the black mess of his hair, tearing him back to your mouth, and Jake fulfills. Kissing you hard and slow. Growing bolder as he feels you squirm for any semblance of relief. His touch slips down your belly, curls along the zipper of your jeans. And when his hand sinks between your thighs, the last fleeting, coherent thought you do have is that at least no one will be able to hear a single sound you make. 
~
A transfer at Jamaica and a subway ride later finally sees you back to familiar streets. It's well into the evening now, the cityscape lit up with its typical bright neon glow. It floods the sidewalks while you walk, milling through an altogether different type of crowd as you make way for the restaurant. 
It’s almost inevitable, winding up there every night. Regardless of the complaining, the more-often-than-not haughty guests, Howard managing with his quirks, the restaurant remains a single constant for most of the staff, and even on a rare day off, you still come crawling back to its doorstep. 
The sight of its stoop on the street corner, well lit beneath its overpriced lanterns, makes it almost seem like a typical Sunday. The main difference being that your arrival isn’t usually accompanied by an armful of stuffed animals. Nor do you make a habit of reporting to work while painfully horny. The walk has done you some good in that respect; it feels like you’ve been properly, thoroughly edged. 
The ride on the train took a turn you.. weren’t expecting - though it certainly made for a way to pass the time. It’s as if you can still feel Jake’s lips on yours, still taste a remnant of him. Like the very scent of him has buried itself somewhere deep inside your lungs. The aforementioned makeout sessions do not hold a candle to what has just occurred, as mostly over the clothes as it was. Voyeurism isn’t really your thing, and though you wouldn’t hold it past Jake to be up to task, it was the closest you’ve toed a line in that territory, and you feel - you feel. That cliche spark, that flutter in your chest as powerful as the ache of arousal in your belly.
It wasn’t just the kissing, either. It was the heavy petting, it was the talking in between. Telling Jake about your first broken bone, learning how he split his chin open skateboarding when he was a teenager - still has the scar that’s hidden by the usual scruff of his facial hair. You wonder if he feels it, too. Felt anything at all or if it was just having fun, which, to reaffirm to your current overthinking state of mind, is still okay. 
You chance a glance at him walking beside you, his own expression unreadable as ever as he smokes another cigarette. Just moments ago, his lips were kissed swollen. His pale skin heated with a flush that ran low beneath the collar of his shirt. And now, the only remnant left behind is the muss of his hair.
But the restaurant inches closer. Service is over by now. The both of you could walk inside, join those partaking in shift drinks, wind up at a bar later, then go your separate ways. Or you could.. ask for more. See if there is an ounce of weight to what he brought up earlier. His pace slows short of making it to the entrance, intent to finish his cigarette, and now is as good a time as any. 
“Hey, so -” you suddenly remember the stuffed animals cradled in your arm, and for the second time tonight feel a little foolish. But there’s still some liquid courage left in you yet. Some bolstered confidence from the days’ events. 
“So, I know we’ll probably go for drinks and whatnot, but later…” You’re stood between him and the building and Jake steps closer; whether to shield you both from passerby or impose with his body some more is unclear as his gazes sharpens, pinned on you while a plume of smoke cascades from his nostrils, and he raises a questioning brow. God, you are so fucking fucked but you’re smiling and shaking your head as you finish your thought. “Later, maybe you’d wanna come back to my place?” 
There’s the slightest lift to the corner of his lips. His head tilts back in appraisal.
“Okay.” 
You blink rapidly. “Okay?”
“Yes,” he enunciates with a little more gumption, appearing amused. Definitely imposing now as he moves even closer until you are nose to chest. “I’d like that. But, uh.. You should know.” He dips his head as if to kiss you again, and quite honestly, you’re not sure if you can remain standing if he does. “I’m unavailable.” 
A snort of laughter erupts from your throat, and even as he leans in, you can’t resist a roll of your eyes before they flutter closed and -
The front door of the restaurant bursts open and the moment is quickly lost to a series of recognizable voices: Ari, Sasha, Heather and Will. Scott with a few guys from the kitchen. All talking a mile a minute as they file down the stairs and swarm over the sidewalk. 
It’s Scott that notices you first. “Hey, look who finally decided to show up. Lookin’ like a bunch’a fuckin’ dorks.” He purposely knocks his shoulder into Jake’s as he strides past, tossing a vague gesture behind him. “C’mon, shitheads, I’m fuckin’ hungry!” 
“Ooh, what’s this?” Sasha tugs at the snake and drapes it around himself like a feathered boa before striking a pose. “I’m keeping this one.”
“No fuckin’ way!” you snap, just as Ari plucks the shark from your grasp.
“I thought you were going to an oyster festival,” she drawls, inspecting the toy. “Didn’t think that meant a carnival, too. I’m working my ass off all day..”
“Okay, just don’t drop them please? Jake won them for me.” You immediately regret your choice of words as they come to a complete halt. 
“Jake did what now?” Ari asks, her eyes - along with Sasha’s and Heather’s - flicker up at him in genuine shock. Will merely chuckles as he passes, trailing after Scott and the crew. 
Jake’s face stretches with a dry smile. “Fuck off, Ari.”
“Y’know for someone who doesn’t date, you’re awfully fucking good at it.” 
“Jake? Good at dating? Now that’s one I’ve never heard before.”
So occupied by the current company, you had taken no notice of Simone’s approach. She’s out of her stripes, donned in her well maintained image of class. An expensive knit sweater, pressed pants. Her signature red lipstick is freshly applied, and her long blond locks are left to cascade softly across her shoulders.
She looks you up and down as she draws near, taking in your appearance but not quite meeting your eye before looking coolly at Jake. “You didn’t tell me this was a date.” 
Her tone is coy enough, but not a single one of you is under the false impression that there isn’t more underlying to what she says. Sasha makes a comment under his breath and Heather quickly jabs an elbow into his side to quiet him.
“They’re just teasing, Simone.” You snatch the shark back from Ari, feeling annoyed. Like you’re being scolded by a school teacher when you haven’t done anything wrong. “It wasn’t a date, we just had -”
“I’m glad you two had a good time,” she finishes for you, and when her gaze finally meets yours, it’s like this conversation has somehow escalated into a standoff, and each bystander lights up a cigarette during the tense pause. 
Eventually, Simone flicks her hair. “Impeccable timing, Jake... Walk me home?”
Fuck. You hate the way your stomach plummets at that.
You look up at him, clinging to some notion that he’ll deny her just this once, that he has felt something, that he wants to see the rest of the night through. That he wants - you.
But at the very moment you see his face, you know that’s not happening. For a second, he looks back at you, mouth hanging open around unspoken words. And when Simone calls his name again, you watch him shut down completely. 
“Sure,” he intones.
“Alright, c’mon babygirl.” Sasha grasps you by the arm in effort to tug you away. Follow after Will and Scott who’ve likely made it a couple of blocks down the road by now. 
You falter on the first step as if you’d been glued to the spot, stubbornly staring at Jake, trying desperately to swallow around the sting of disappointment and rejection so it’s not plain for him - or anyone else - to see.
You think you manage to tell Jake ‘goodnight’, but then your back is turned on him and you let Sasha steer you away with the girls.
The three of them link arms with you tucked somewhere in between. It’s apparent you’ve done well steeling yourself; there’s a bounce to their steps as they carry on as before, talking one over the other with no regard to whatever the fuck it was that just occurred. Onward to what you can only hope is a repeat of last night, with little left over to remember come morning.
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thevelvetgoldmine · 1 year
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SWEETBITTER S02E05 - "Entropy"
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thepaintedlady00 · 3 months
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Nightshade
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Chapter 22 | Chapter 24
Holy shit it's been a minute! Hi y'all! I'm back! Life's been absolutely insane lately and finding the time or the inspiration to write has just been really hard the past month or so. So, sorry this has taken so long to get out, but to make it up to y'all here's a 40 PAGE chapter! 😅😂 TW: THIS TW CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS! The usual, language, smoking, drinking, mentions of drugs and alcohol, some very painful memories, mentions of abuse/neglect, mentions/descriptions of nudity and inappropriate photos of a minor, violence, blood, character death, panic attacks, general not so good stuff is gonna go down, unhealthy coping mechanisms (aka ignoring all the shit going wrong until we can't anymore), make out scenes, dirty talk, some minor roleplay if you squint, and finally some fuckin SMUT! Yeah, the will they won't they train has FINALLY left the station! We've got some teasing, foreplay, oral female & male receiving (kind of a little), penetration, nipple play, idk what else to tell ya xD And a little bit of unhealty family drama at the end of it :) Also it's super late where I live so this chapter was very VERY roughly edited, so if ya see any mistakes, no you don't xD
Chapter 23: Oysters & Champagne
The greatest changes happen with time. It is the slow, steady progression that paves the way forward for bigger, brighter things. The shift between day and night, the methodical building of new cities and roads, and the lowering of one's guard to allow connection and emotion to take hold. The greatest things often happen slowly, then all at once.
As I watched Jake sign to Prue from across the diner table, taking her feedback with a determination I wouldn't have expected from him when we'd first met, it was hard not to think of Rada's old saying. “Slowly, then all at once,” Rada explained as she helped guide my brush into lighter, slower strokes. “See? Rome was not built in a day my Lena, your painting will not be perfected in that time either.”
So much had changed in the past months that it was hard to even remember how it all began. In the beginning, Jake had been just another annoying bad-boy bartender that wanted a quick easy fuck and I'd been just another closed-off, flighty back waiter. Yet, here we were, sitting side by side in a diner booth. It was strange to think that when we'd first met I wanted nothing to do with him or his flirtatious advances and now… Now I couldn't imagine a moment without him.
“Okay, okay, let me try this,” he said with a sly grin. “Your boyfriend is a pussy.”
Prue rolled her eyes, but admitted, “You're improving.”
“Thank you,” he beamed, clearly pleased with himself and his joke.
She reached over the table and flicked his head. “You're an ass.”
Jake rubbed his forehead as I laughed. “You deserved that.”
“Worth it.”
As we happily resumed eating our breakfasts the diner door opened and slammed shut. Quinn tore her jacket off and threw it into the booth as she slid in and picked up her menu. It'd been like this for a few days. Quinn would show up pissed off about something, we'd ask, she'd tell us it was nothing and then she'd get drunk every night. It was an obvious cycle of coping, the question was what she was coping with.
Prue and I shared a glance, trying to work out the best way to approach the subject. Jake, however, just went straight into speaking, “What's crawled up your ass?”
“Nothing,” she ground out glaring at him from behind her menu.
He laughed. “And you call me grumpy.”
Something in her finally broke. “Fuck you, at least I have a reason to be so grumpy!”
“Yeah?” He continued to press, the asshole in him just unable to contain his glee at getting a rise out of someone. “Like what?”
“Like my dumbass fucking dad showing up!”
The silence that followed was interrupted by the sound of our forks clacking against the plates. Quinn's dad was something serious, something that rarely came up anymore but serious all the same. He was a known addict who spent her entire childhood bouncing between neglect and full-fledged abuse. When Quinn lived across the street from us we could hear him yelling and throwing things at all hours of the day. At night he'd leave, sometimes for weeks at a time, and Quinn would essentially come and live with us until her dad came pounding on our door demanding his kid back.
My dad had beat the shit out of him more times than I could remember, but other than that there wasn't much we could do, not when Quinn refused to let us. For years she held out hope that her dad would one day get things figured out and they could be a real family. That hope died when she turned sixteen and he disappeared. After she'd grown up and gotten on her own two feet he started showing up at random asking for money or a place to stay while he “figured some things out”, but that always ended the same. With Quinn brokenhearted.
“Your dad's back in town?” I asked. “Why didn't you say anything?”
“It doesn't matter,” she responded.
“Yes, it does! We all know what he puts you through, Quinn. We could-”
“You could do nothing because unlike you I don't have two big brothers and a drug dealer on speed dial.” The harsh words settled over the table, sinking into both of us for a minute before Quinn shook her head and relented to the tired ache in her. “I… I'm sorry, Lee. I didn't mean that.”
“It's okay,” I reassured her, reaching across the table to take her hand. “I know.”
Tears built in her eyes but she wouldn't cry, not because of him, not ever again. “I told him to fuck off already so he's probably halfway back into whatever hole he crawled out of.”
Prue put her arm around Quinn's shoulder and hugged her. “Want us to stay with you? I can close up shop for the day.”
“I can call in,” I offered.
“I can say pussy,” Jake added, getting a laugh out of her. “Seriously though, I dunno what they're saying but… Fuck your dad.”
She sniffled and shook off the wave of sorrow. “Thanks, all of you, but I'm good.”
Holding out her pinky Prue gave her a look. “Pinky swear?”
Quinn shook it and nodded. “Pinky swear.”
“And, just for the record,” I said, “My brothers would always come to help you, Quinn. So would Dom. You're not alone.”
“I know,” she whispered, but I could see what was left unsaid in her eyes. It's not the same. We may have been Quinn's found family, but the hurt in her was the same as Patrick felt. She knew she wasn't blood… She knew if it came to a choice between me and her my brothers would choose me every time. And nothing I said or did would change her mind on it.
The ring of Jake's phone broke the uneasy silence. He checked the number with narrow eyes. “It's Dom.”
“Dom's calling you?” Quinn questioned, forcing herself to relax even just partially.
“Okay, what did you guys do that day I was gone?” I teased. “First he's actually using your government name, then he's calling you on the phone?”
Jake shushed me as he answered. “Hey, what's up? Uh… No, I don't. Sure, I guess. Yeah, see you in a bit.”
“What was that about?”
“Apparently I'm getting a couch and a TV.”
I shook my head and nudged him. “Seriously, what did you do?”
Jake shrugged, taking a final bite of his food before standing. “Don't worry bout it, Princess. See you at work.”
“See you at work,” I replied. “Don't break any legs trying to move that shit into your tiny apartment.”
He flipped me off as he made his way out the diner door and headed out. When I turned back to the table Quinn and Prue were both grinning at me. “You've seen his apartment now?”
“It's not a big deal,” I replied.
“Is this part of that juicy phone call I intercepted a while ago?” Her eyebrows rose. “A sexy debt if I remember correctly.”
“I have no clue what you're talking about.”
Prue slapped her hands on the table. “Spill it!”
“There's nothing to spill,” I insisted.
“Bullshit!” Quinn interjected. “You were gone all day.”
With a roll of my eyes and a giddy, girlish feeling making my stomach fill with butterflies I caved. “We just hung out and took a few pictures with his camera.”
Quinn's brows wiggled. “Sexy pictures?”
“Maybe…” 
Prue happily squeaked. “Oh my god did you two finally-”
“No.”
Quinn groaned, throwing her head back. “Oh my god! Just fuck already!”
I shook my head. “Classy, Quinn.”
“Seriously!” She continued. “I feel like I'm getting blue balled and I'm not even involved in your almost fucks!”
“Just think about how great it would feel to finally do it,” Prue added. “I know I was absolutely buzzing when Will and I finally did!”
“I…” With a sigh I looked down and quickly, quietly admitted. “I have thought about it.”
Quinn quickly translated for Prue and both of them became insatiable for the rest of breakfast.
*
Jake watched the bikers easily maneuver the decently sized couch and the modest TV around the stairs and up into his apartment. He'd attempted to help a few times but quickly got told to “bugger off” by what looked like an eighty-year-old man, so he just stood and watched. Dom stood next to him, silently observing before he finally asked, “Well, what do you think?”
“It looks good,” he answered. “Still a bit confused as to why you're giving me this shit but hey, frees free.”
Dom chuckled, a real chuckle. “I don't got the room for it, besides, you earned it.”
Shaking his head, Jake once again reiterated the facts. “I didn't do anything. I just-”
“You just protected her,” Dom finished for him. “That ain’t nothin’, Jake.”
“Yeah, but I don't need… Payment or anything for it.” He looked at Dom, meeting the hardened eyes. “I didn't do it for that.”
“I know.” The drug dealer clapped him on the shoulder. “Consider it a gift then.”
“Didn't take you for a guy that gave out gifts.”
“I'm not, so just say thank you and we'll never speak of it again.”
Jake chuckled. “Thank you, Dom.”
“Shut up,” he answered, nodding to the new space. “It's a bit crowded.”
With a shrug, Jake just examined the soft leather. “It's not too bad. I'm used to tight spaces.”
Hemingway leaped onto the sofa, purring as he rubbed the soft leather on his skin. “Well, at least the cat likes it.” Dom watched the others leave and moved to follow. “Call me if you can't get the TV workin'. I'll have John come out and fix it.”
“John's the one that calls me a twit, right?”
“Yep.”
“I'm sure the TV works fine.” He waved them off and closed the door, staring at the tiny living room he now had set up.
It wasn't perfect or fancy, most people would even argue that it was too much for the already cramped space, but Jake kind of liked it. His chair had gotten pushed into the back corner with his guitar on top of it. The edges of the couch left only a little room for people to slide past to the bathroom, but he rarely had company over so that didn't matter much. The TV fit on top of one of his shelves and left enough room for him to put DVDs or VHS tapes up too. He'd moved the thin coffee table he never used into the center of the space, pushing it up against the shelf a bit so there was enough legroom for the couch and then he sat down.
“Well,” he asked, turning towards the cat. “What do you think?”
Hemingway's only response was a loud purr as he curled up on the section of couch that was bathed in sunlight. 
Jake chuckled at the creature and settled into the leather, resting his head against the back of the couch. “Yeah, it's pretty nice.”
*
22West was relatively quiet when I got in. The kitchen was almost done with prep work and from what I could tell we weren't overbooked. The locker room was empty and stayed empty as I changed into my work attire. It felt kind of nice, to have a moment of quiet to myself at the start of a hopeful easy shift.
Jake set his bike down by the door and quickly entered, hair still disheveled. I closed my locker and smirked at him. “You're running later than normal.”
“I fell asleep,” he answered, practically tearing the locker open and throwing his newly returned jacket to me. I opened my mouth to protest, but he just gave me a look over his shoulder, “Just let this one be easy for me tonight?”
“Fine,” I agreed, reopening my locker and shoving the jacket inside. “Just this once.”
“Thanks, princess.”
“How was moving your couch in?”
Jake just chuckled. “I barely touched the damn thing. The bikers took care of everything.”
I nodded in agreement. “Yeah, they're pretty efficient when they wanna be. So, are you ever gonna spill the beans on why you're all so buddy-buddy all of a sudden?”
He glanced at me, a fleeting thing shining in his eyes before he looked down at his tie and shrugged. “There’s nothing to tell, really. I just came looking for you and they… Respected that.”
Glaring at him through narrow eyes I reached up and helped him with his tie. “Likely story.”
“You worried they'll start to like me better than you?” He teased.
“As if!” I laughed. “You're not nearly that charming.”
With a smirk, Jake leaned forward, “So how charming do you think I am?”
Humming in thought I knew the real answer. The instant, resounding too charming filled my brain for a minute before I answered. “I'd say you're a solid four.”
“Four?!” He scoffed. “I'm higher than four.”
“You certainly think so,” I replied with a wicked grin, my hands smoothing down his chest. His phone buzzed against the metal material of his locker. “I'll save you a plate, sweetie.”
Rolling his eyes he answered with a simple, “Thanks.”
Once I'd emerged from the kitchen the noise that the restaurant had been absent of, filled the space. Everyone was gathered around the wall instead of at the table eating. They whispered to one another, giggling and making suggestive faces. “What are we giggling about?”
Sasha smirked, giddily grabbing my wrist to pull me towards the wall. “We are just admiring the new painting that has graced our humble restaurant!”
The crowd parted and my heart stopped dead in my chest. There, hanging on the wall in front of me was, well, me. My portrait. My nude portrait. I felt lightheaded, my vision blurring, and the voices of everyone joking and teasing were suddenly drowned out by a loud, shrill ringing. 
It wasn't the sight of my nude body that filled me with a sense of dread. Though I still hated the sight of it - of what it had originally represented - it was the large splatter of crimson that stained the canvas that truly made my heart sink. It was the vivid and violent contrast between the soft hues of acrylic and the hard flakes of dried blood.
My brush slid along the canvas, the bright hues of blue and yellow, and lavender contrasting against the neutral skin tones of my self-portrait. I'd struggled to look at it, the fleshy rendering of my mostly nude figure. Its imperfections made me feel even more inadequate than I already did, the reference photo being one of the first that Tony had taken of me. That was his art, dressing and posing me to look perfect - to look like the beautiful and obedient woman he always said I'd grow into.
Truthfully I hadn't even considered painting something for this upcoming gala, having known well in advance they only wanted nudes or mostly sos to display. That wasn't what I painted, nor was it something I was particularly interested in doing, but Tony had insisted. So, there it was in all its hideous, imperfect glory. The portrait of a self I didn't even feel was me, but rather the hollow husk everyone else wanted. Everyone but Rada.
She peered over her shoulder, watching me paint for a moment as she cleaned the penthouse living room. The look on her face told me that she hated it as much as I did. But, she said nothing about how cold and lifeless it felt or about how she thought it in poor taste to paint a fourteen-year-old nude. Rada just kept cleaning, offering me what reassurance she could, like she always did. And like always, just knowing she was here was enough.
The elevator dinged open and Jules held Tony up, guiding him to the nearest chair and helping him get settled. It was obvious that he'd just got back from one of his benders on the flight back from France so I tried to keep my eyes to myself. Tony was never predictable per se, but he was always constant. His violence was never random, nor was it ever out of the blue. But, that changed when he got high enough.
“I'll go get the doctor, just to be certain you haven't taken too much.”
He chuckled. “Ever loyal, my dear friend. Some in the house could learn from you.”
The jab was obviously meant for me, but I kept my eyes on my painting, hoping it would spare me his anger for at least tonight. Jules exited quickly and with him gone, everything fell apart. The first noise I heard was the sound of metal clinking against the marble countertop, and the next was the bone-chilling sound of the cylinder of his revolver spinning. 
My brush froze on the canvas, ears honing into the slow steps he took toward me before he hauled me up by the hair. “Let's play a game, baby girl.”
“I…” The words struggled to find their way from my throat as my eyes caught Rada's. “I have to finish my painting for the gala tomorrow.”
“It can wait,” he insisted, throwing me back into the counter and pinning me against it.
He spun the cylinder again, a crazed grin settling on his lips as he held it to his head and pulled the trigger twice. As always, he laughed when I flinched and then forced the gun into my hand. “I don't-” His finger forced my own down onto the trigger.
The game played out like it always did until Tony's smile faltered and a rage seemed to fill his eyes. “Do you love me?”
I'd spoken the words so many times before then, but for some reason, I froze. My brain screamed at me, begging me to say it - to tell him I loved him, but deep in my heart I knew the truth. I don't love you. This isn't love. The rage spilled from his eyes, overtaking his face as he struck me hard enough to make my head hit the counter. The blow was enough to force the words out, “I do! You know I love you!”
“Is that right?” He spat, carelessly tossing the gun onto the counter and holding my head down on it. I gripped at him, searching for skin to scratch or anything to get him off me. “You didn't seem so sure just a moment ago.”
“No! I'm sure! I… I was just confused!”
“Confused?” He laughed, a sound that sent chills up my spine and made my muscles all tense. “Stupid girl. Do you even understand?” He hauled me up, holding my face in one of his hands so hard I could feel my jaw crack. “You're alive because I want you. If it weren't for me, you'd be nothing!”
“I know!” My lips trembled as I blinked back tears. “I'm nothing without you, Tony. I know that. Please…”
I prepared myself for another bout of his laughter, or another blow maybe, but neither came. Instead, I heard the cock of Tony's gun and a surprised… Annoyed sound leave his throat. “What do you think you're doing?”
“Let go of her,” Rada demanded. From the corner of my blurred vision, I could just barely see her, standing at the end of the counter pointing Tony's gun at him with slightly trembling hands. “You let her go now, or I swear on all of God's holy saints I will kill you.”
He laughed then, that deep, boisterous one that sent terror through me. Turning his head Tony smiled at me. “Seems you're not the only one that's forgotten their place.”
Through the tight grip of his hands, I begged, pleaded with him, “Please…”
With one harsh shove, my head collided with the counter enough to make my ears ring and my vision spin. I could hear his footsteps and the quiet sound of the gun's trigger being pulled.
Click.
Fear, desperate and heavy, filled my lungs and stole my breath as I scrambled to find my bearings.
Click.
Click.
Click.
Bang.
My vision cleared just in time to watch Rada collapse half on top of my painting. Blood gushed from the side of her neck, spraying across the canvas and staining the carpet. A sharp breath finally filled my lungs, yet I still found them breathless. “NO!”
I scrambled forward, pressing my hands to her neck and desperately trying to apply enough pressure to stop the bleeding. Her body shook beneath me, at least it felt that way… It could have been my own shaking. Through the sound of her gurgling breaths, I could hear Tony laughing. “L… Le…”
“Shh,” I urged. “Don't talk. Just hold on. Someone's gonna help.”
Rada smiled, tears filling her eyes as she struggled to lift a hand to lovingly brush my hair behind my ear. “My… Bea…utifil…” Blood splattered across my face as she coughed. “Da… Daugh…”
I could feel her skin grow cold as her chest stuttered and then stopped. “No! Mama please!” I sobbed, moving my hands to shake her shoulders. “Don't leave me here! Mama!”
“What's happened?” Jules’ voice cut through my screams as he burst into the room.
Tony, still laughing, waved him off. “One of the maids got a bit too bold. Don't worry, my friend, I took care of it.”
Rage filled me, rage and grief and a forever-festering desire to end it all. Chest heaving and lungs burning I stood and turned to the kitchen as Jules helped Tony back to his seat. I grabbed a knife from the counter and ran forward with a wail. Tony's eyes shined at the sight of me and the knife flying toward him as if this was what he wanted. Jules turned his head and with no hesitation, he threw himself between Tony and me.
Blood, hot and sticky, splashed my hands and face as my knife met flesh.
*
Jake glared at the message on his phone, a sense of regret and shame making him feel sick to his stomach. 
Won't be back for another day or two. - Simone
When Jake had finally worked up the courage to answer her calls on Thanksgiving morning she'd been livid. She screamed at him for being so selfish and childish and demanded he stop with his attitude and come with her. He'd held his ground, of course, but the sting of her anger always made him feel like a pathetic eight-year-old boy being scolded. Jake had said sorry. He'd texted her, checking in, he even tried to call, but she'd given him nothing in response until now.
He breathed out a frustrated breath and put his phone back in his pocket, shutting his locker and hurrying downstairs to distract himself from the weight of his feelings with food and his friends gossiping. That, however, was not what he walked into. The group gathered around one of the walls, laughing and asking questions when he approached. “The fucks everyone pissing themselves over?”
Ari shifted, revealing more of the large painting that now hung on the wall of the restaurant. Jake’s jaw dropped at the sight of a nude figure - a body he'd grown most familiar with in the past months. If he'd been unsure at all, the bold curves of her name labeling the corner of the piece erased it. Lena. 
The redhead in question stood, frozen staring up at it as Sasha talked and teased in her ear. A cold shiver crawled up his spine at the sight of her. This wasn't just some embarrassing nude portrait. This was something else. Something that made her spine stiffen and her skin lose its color. 
Jake shoved past everyone and moved between Lena and Sasha. The Russian cursed at him in the foreign language. “What the hell?”
“Fuck off Sasha!”
With a prideful scoff, he turned away, shooing the crowd. “Bossy bossy!”
“Lena,” Jake whispered, reaching out for her. His fingers barely grazed her arm before she recoiled, a quick reaction he would have missed if he'd not been paying attention. She turned and looked at him with glossy eyes and a dead expression that made his gut tighten and his heart drop. “Lena?”
With a sharp exhale and a staggering step, she was moving. She stepped around him, shoved through the crowd and across the lobby. Her body flung itself through the kitchen doors and Jake followed, not even sure if it was what she'd want. The second he entered behind her he found her hunched over the garbage, throwing up the breakfast they'd shared. The kitchen crew all made noises of disgust and Scott dropped his utensils to turn and look at the disruption. “What the hell, Red?”
Lena composed herself, wiping the spit from her mouth with a shaking hand. “S-sorry chef.”
“Are you good now?” Scott asked, his tone as harsh and uncaring as it always was, but his eyes narrowed in concern.
Isaac had dropped everything and rushed to the front of the line, held off only by her raising a hand to stop him as she shook her head. “I… Just…” She looked like she was about to puke again, but held it back. “I just need a minute.”
As she turned toward the stairs, not meeting his eyes, Jake felt his worry shift to anger. This had to be him. The Anthony that Dom had told him about. And in that moment, Jake understood Patrick's bitterness about how little he truly knew. He felt unprepared - unequipped to offer Lena any help, but even with that aching feeling, Jake followed her up the stairs. He'd be there, no matter what she needed from him, Jake would be there.
*
I knew I was moving, talking. I could feel each strained movement and hear each shaky reply. None of it registered. In my mind, I was still standing in front of that painting… Still in the penthouse living room watching my mom bleed out. I was stuck, or my mind was, reliving that moment over and over again while my body just kept moving on autopilot.
“What can we do when we feel stuck?” Dad asked.
“Keep moving.”
“Keep moving. Find something to ground you.”
“Keep moving,” I murmured to myself as I stumbled up the stairs. “Just keep moving.”
I could hear someone following me up, but I didn't stop or look back. I just had to keep going. One foot in front of the other. When I finally made it to the locker room bathroom I barely registered slamming the door shut and fumbling for the knobs of the faucet. It felt like my head was spinning with the noise and the heat and the nausea.
“Get out,” I told myself in the mirror trying to focus on my face and drown out the sound of Tony's laugh with the running water. “Get out.”
“Stupid girl. Do you even understand?”
I was going to throw up again. “Get out.”
“If it weren't for me, you'd be nothing.”
A pounding came from the door as it got harder and harder to breathe. “Get out.”
“I'm the only one that could ever love you.”
In the background, I heard the door open, but whoever was standing in it was distorted… Replaced by Tony's laughing face and his thin frame. It isn't real, I told myself, but my body was already gone. Desperate panic forced the shrill cry from my lips, “GET OUT!”
Whoever it was vanished, but the fear didn't go with them. Every inch of me shook as I scrambled to find a foothold in reality. I needed something, anything to keep me from passing out. “Find something to ground you.”
There was one thing that would keep me going. One thing I could use. I turned the cold water off and stuck my hands beneath the boiling water. The pain made everything else fade away, forcing my body to stay on its feet and pulling my mind to the present. My heart hammered in my chest and a pained cry echoed in my ears as I stared into my own reflection.
Tears stained my cheeks and my hair had tiny clumps of throw up in it. It wasn't pretty, but it was real. I was here. The door opened again and Isaac opened his mouth, obviously having prepared something to say. That something vanished as he watched the steam rise up from the sink and he realized what I was doing. He ran forward and turned the water off, switching it to cold as he looked at my red hands. “Shit!”
“I couldn't get out,” I whispered in a broken… Pathetic voice.
Isaac held me from behind, keeping my hands beneath the now-cold water as I began to shake again. The pain was gone and without it, everything else started to creep back in. “It's okay, Lena. It's okay.”
“I…” A breathless whine caught in my throat. “I can't get out.”
“You're out,” he answered. “You're here.”
“I… I…” My body lurched forward, bile spewing from my mouth as panic began to set back in.
Isaac squeezed my hands and stammered before he released me. “Okay… Fuck… Okay, I… I'm gonna call Peter.”
I shut my eyes, setting my head against the chilled sink. “Getoutgetoutgetoutgetout.”
Without even really thinking I shut the cold water off and reached for the hot water knob. Find something to ground yourself. A hand settled on top of mine as a new body settled in Isaac's place behind me, one I recognized instantly. “Stop.” 
Jake.
Standing upright I opened my eyes, I stared into his eyes through the mirror. “Can you tell me what you need?”
Clenching my jaw I shook my head as my chest stuttered with repressed sobs. “That's okay.” Jake gently pulled my arms back, crossing them over my chest and holding me tightly to his. “Can you feel my heartbeat?”
I nodded.
“Can you feel my breaths?”
I nodded again. 
“Breathe with me,” he whispered, pressing his head to mine as he quietly counted. I watched us through the mirror for a minute before I let my eyes shut. Jake's steady breaths fanned across my neck, his heart beat against my back and his warm embrace sank into my bones. It was like his whole body was speaking to mine… Telling it that there was no danger. I was safe. “That's it, just breathe, Princess. You're here. You're safe with me.”
I'm safe. I'm with Jake. Slowly my breaths began to even out and my brain felt less muddled. I'm with Jake. My body stopped shaking and eventually, all that was left was us. I'm safe.
Isaac's panicked voice echoed as he walked back towards the bathroom door. “I don't know what to do! She's… I don't even know how to explain it.”
Swallowing, I quietly asked, “Is he talking to my brother?”
“Yeah,” Jake answered. “He got worried.”
“Can you tell him I'm okay now? I…” I opened my eyes and met Jake's gaze. “I don't want Peter to come all the way down here. Please.”
“Okay.” He looked down at the sink.
“I'm good now,” I assured him. “I'm just gonna sit down for a minute.”
If it were anyone else they'd likely have fought me, but this was Jake. He knew I wasn't lying. His hold on me loosened and he carefully helped me sit on top of the toilet lid. “I'll be right back.”
While the muffled conversation carried on outside the door I just sat there, staring at my reddened hands with an empty sense of impending doom. He was here. In this restaurant. He'd hung that painting where every guest, everyone passing close enough by the windows, would be able to see it. Still, I knew it wasn't about publicly shaming me. If that were the case he would've chosen to frame one of the many photos he had of me. This was a personal message. A reminder.
“If you're going to play games, you'd best be prepared to do whatever it takes to win.” He reminded me often after that night, that Rada had played and lost. That Francois had played and lost. Everyone always lost. “They don't have the mind or the stomach to win this game of ours, baby girl. We're still the only ones even playing.”
Deep down I knew what this meant. I knew, yet I refused to think it - to breathe life into that horrifying and terrible thought. He didn't get to toy with me. He didn't get to scare me out of this life.
This life was mine. I had survived his horrors, I'd taken the blows and I'd made my choices. I had fought and bled and killed for this life. He didn't get to take that away, not now, not ever. He didn't get to win.
I wiped my eyes and forced everything back into that box deep inside me. Once my feet steadied I walked out into the locker room where Jake had taken the phone from Isaac and was trying to talk my brothers down. I held my hand out. “Let me talk to them.”
Jake watched me for a minute before he nodded, “She wants to talk to you. Here.”
“Thanks.” I held the phone to my ear, listening to Patrick in the background throwing things around in search of his shoes. “I'm fine. Just stay home and take care of the gym.”
“Fuck that!” Patrick yelled.
“Is he there?” Peter asked, his voice filled with the rage he rarely had.
Sparing a glance at Jake I answered, “No. He's not stupid enough to show up with Dom around.”
“Then what happened?”
Flashes filled my head again as I forced myself to answer. “It's just a painting, Pete.”
“Which painting?”
“One you don't have to worry about,” I bit in bitter frustration. “Just… Please don't come. Please.”
“Lena you-”
“I am fine.” I insisted coldly. “I… I just want to work, okay? Can you just let me do that?”
Peter was quiet for a moment before he asked, “Promise me you're safe?”
As if on their own, my eyes drifted to Jake again, meeting those sea-blue eyes. “I promise.”
He shouted at Patrick before speaking again. “Okay. Put Isaac back on.”
“Thank you.” I turned towards the door where Isaac stood biting his nails. “Here.”
I watched him move out of the locker room, talking to my brother for a second before I turned back to Jake. What do I say? I asked myself. He no doubt had a thousand questions, all of which would be tied up in the painting… Which was tied up in Rada and Tony and everything I didn't want him to know. So, when his mouth opened I stopped breathing. “What do you need?”
What? My brain went blank in seconds as I gaped at him. “W… Don't you have like a million questions?”
“Course I do,” he replied simply. “The most important of them being that one. So, what do you need?”
“Honestly? I… Kinda wanna just forget this ever happened.” I admitted looking down at my feet. “
“That's gonna be kinda hard with that thing hanging up out there.”
“Yeah, it is.”
He shrugged a shoulder and moved to pass me. “Gimme one minute.”
I followed him to the door. “What are you doing?”
“Just trust me, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Sasha!” He hollered, heading across the hall toward the front room. “Give me a hand real quick?”
Service started before Jake came back and so I jumped into work. I used it to distract myself from obsessing over the fact that hundreds of rich assholes were out there, no doubt looking at my painting - my body. That got harder to do when Will moved me to back waiting. The first follow of my night felt like I was walking right into a lion's den. And then it suddenly wasn't. 
I didn't know what they did, all I knew was when I walked out of the kitchen and into the sea of customers, the painting was nowhere in sight. I looked at Jake as he worked behind the bar, and all the answer he offered me was a smile.
After that, the night felt a little less heavy and before I knew it we were all gathering around the bar for after shift drinks. I gave Nicky a pat on the back and smiled. “Head home Nick, I'll get it all closed up.”
“You sure?” He asked, handing me his bar rag.
“Go on,” I urged.
Jake and I worked side by side, serving drinks to each of our friends as they all mingled and began to filter out the door. It felt good to be behind the bar with him again, but whenever I looked up all I could see was that painting on the wall. Fighting that foreboding feeling was tiring and not something I wanted to spend all night doing.
“So,” Jake started cautiously as he stacked a few glasses. “Today was a lot.”
I sighed and looked down at the bartop. “Yeah… Sorry about earlier. I wasn't trying to be… I dunno, pathetic.”
“You were hardly pathetic,” he assured me.
“Thanks,” I whispered, finally looking up at him.
“For what?”
“Grounding me.” Suddenly shy beneath his gaze I looked away. “I have a hard time coming out of episodes like that and you… You made it less shitty. A lot less shitty. So, thank you.”
His fingers combed through my hair as he brushed it behind my ear. “No problem, Princess.”
“Let's get drunk tonight.”
With a smirk, he asked, “You think that'll help?”
“Can't hurt to try.” I shrugged, repeating the words he'd told me. “Besides, I kinda want you to be all over me again.”
Jake's smirk grew wider, turning to pull my body into his. “Like this?”
I nodded, happily drinking in the warmth and the smell of him. “Yeah. Like that.”
“Come on then,” he answered, tugging me out from behind the bar and throwing his jacket around my shoulders. “Let's go.”
*
Jake watched Lena dance from the bar as he nursed his first and likely only drink for the night. She'd been drinking steadily since they arrived, though no one seemed to want to discourage her from it. Peter and Patrick had told Dom shortly after Lena had talked them out of coming and so he and the bikers were nowhere in sight. Whether that was something to worry about or not, he didn't know.
At first, he'd considered talking to the brothers about the whole situation, but Patrick had just given him a shake of his head and nodded to Lena. A reminder that everything - or almost everything - they did was on her terms. They'd discuss it when she was ready to. She'll never be ready to, he told himself.
Lena was strong and stubborn. In those first months, he'd thought she was fearless. The longer he spent with her - with everyone - the more he realized that no one was truly unafraid. Everyone feared something and that was okay… It was normal to be afraid. Fear often meant that you cared about something outside of yourself. But, Lena's fear was something entirely different. Her fear was intertwined with her anger and her sorrow. So much of her was packed into the threads she refused to acknowledge let alone pull on. 
So, she'd keep drinking and dancing and moving forward. She'd leave seeing that painting in the restaurant as buried as whatever memory it was tied to. And, though his stomach twisted into knots at the thought of leaving her panic attack in the bathroom unresolved, Jake would let her have this. He had to.
After an hour he excused himself outside, not bothering to take the alley to the couch while the bikers had vacated their spot out front of the bar. He grabbed his jacket from Lena's seat and fished out his cigarettes and his lighter, moving to pull one out when he looked up and saw Quinn. She was boxed up against the wall outside by an older, angry-looking man - her father if he had to guess. From the door, Jake could see the tears building in her eyes as he screamed at her and grabbed her arms to shake her. His jaw clenched and his feet carried him toward her. “Hey!”
“Jake-” she tried to interrupt.
He ignored her, shoving the man's filthy hands off Quinn and occupying the spot in front of her. “Get the fuck out of here.”
Her dad laughed. “You’re a real tough guy, huh? Do you know who the fuck I am?”
“Don't care.” Jake shoved him again when he tried to get up in his face. 
“You're gonna regret this,” he said, spitting at Jake's feet as he glared at Quinn and slunk back into the night mumbling and grumbling curses and threats under his breath.
He waited until the man had vanished around the corner to turn to Quinn. She was closed off, almost angry as she huffed, “You didn't have to do that.”
“I know,” Jake answered, lighting his cigarette. He took a drag before wordlessly offering it to her. Quinn accepted and smoked in silence alongside him. “So, that's your dad?”
“Yep.”
“Seems like a real charmer.”
She sighed. “Yeah.”
Jake recognized the look in her eyes, that painful anger. “I never knew my dad, but he probably wasn't too different from your old man.”
“It sucks, right?” she asked, looking up at him. “Being so… Unimportant to someone that's supposed to love you.”
“Yeah, it does,” he earnestly replied. “But, we've got other people, you know… Better people.”
“I know,” she whispered. “That's different though.”
With a solemn nod, he agreed, “I know it is.”
“Thanks,” she said, clearing her throat. “For the smoke.”
“No problem. And, if he shows up again or bothers you or whatever, just call me and I'll come take care of it.”
“You don't have to worry about me,” Quinn insisted with a sad look.
It was a simple, sad sentence, one Jake had used countless times before. He knew the ugly truth that hid behind the words. I don't want to be weak. Weak. It was laughable to think anyone found Quinn weak. In all the time he'd known her, she was nothing short of sassy, strong, and confident. Yet, here, on the side of the street, Quinn looked small.
She must've felt small too, the way she kept glancing at him with that fearful hint of shame. Jake felt a few things swirl around in his chest. Anger that her shitty dad made her feel like this small and unimportant. Sad that her shitty dad made her feel unloved. But the strongest among them was a new, blinding need to protect her. Jake wanted to make sure Quinn never felt that way ever again and it was frightening for a moment. However scared he was of this new responsible feeling, he quickly decided that he didn't care.
He didn't care how scared he was, he knew Quinn and he knew that she deserved the same kind of family that she'd given him with her persistence and her meddling. “Yeah, but what kinda big brother would I be if I didn't.”
Her eyes filled with tears as she looked up at him and breathed out a soft laugh. “I…I've never had a big brother before.”
“I've never been one before,” he replied, looking anywhere but her face. “Guess it'll be something new for both of us.”
Quinn nodded, and without another word, she stepped forward and hugged him. “Well, just for the record, I can't think of a better idiot to be my big brother.”
He held her close, letting the words fill him with pride. “I have my smart moments.”
They held each other for a moment longer, both holding onto that feeling of family that neither of them had known - at least not like this. Then Quinn pulled away, wiping her eyes. “We should get back inside.”
“Yeah, we should.” He replied, following her with a steady arm around her shoulder.
*
I downed the shot in one quick motion, shaking off the burning tingling feeling that engulfed my face after. It felt nice to forget. The tingling was all I could really focus on… Well, the only other thing I could focus on.
Jake had been cool and collected all day. He'd handled the painting, the panic attack, and everything else seemingly with ease. While I made quick work of every drink Ian made, he slowly drank his beer and watched me with amusement. It reminded me of the last time I'd gotten wasted, what little of it I could remember.
Want. No matter how much I drank or how much I kept putting the big shit off, the want never lessened. As I watched Jake with that stoic face of his, all I could think about were those heated moments between us. All I could think about was how badly I wanted to do all of them again. So, with a wide, drunken grin I took hold of his hand and started pulling him through the crowd. “Come on!”
He chuckled but let me drag him to the back hall next to the bathrooms. “You gonna hurl?”
“No,” I giggled, stumbling into his chest. “I wanna kiss you!”
“Yeah? And we had to come over here to do that?”
“I'm not gonna make out with you in front of my dad!” I replied in a giddy, hushed whisper. “Do you wanna kiss or not?”
Jake stepped forward, backing me into the wall, his hands landing on my hips as I stared up at him in awe. “I always wanna kiss you, princess.”
With a satisfied hum, I gripped his shirt and pulled him towards me. “Good.”
In the dimly lit hallway surrounded by noise and bodies somehow in my mind, it was just the two of us. Jake's lips moved in time with my own, our hands grabbing at one another with a furious need to somehow be closer. The slight buzz of the alcohol made my head feel light and erased all of the lingering unknowns from my mind entirely. It was that mix that made me feel bold enough to touch Jake exactly how I wanted to.
I palmed him through his jeans, swallowing every moan until he pulled away from my lips with a groan. He squeezed my hips, closing his eyes and leaning his head back. “Fuck.”
Smiling, I leaned forward and kissed his neck. “You're so pretty.”
“If you were sober I…” He groaned again as my teeth scraped his Adam's apple.
“You'd what?”
Jake looked down at me and shook his head, hands leaving my hips to take hold of my face. “I'd do a lot of things.”
“Sounds fun. Would I like it?”
“Definitely,” he whispered.
I smirked. “How do you know?”
Bumping our noses together Jake shrugged, “I have it on good authority I excel at the art of pleasure.”
“Hmm,” I hummed playfully, “I think you're just overconfident.”
“I'll just have to give you a private demonstration.” He sighed against my lips, amused and frustrated all at once. “When you're sober.”
“When I’m sober,” I repeated, pressing another kiss to his lips. “Raincheck?”
He chuckled. “Raincheck.”
“We can still make out though, right?”
“Absolutely,” he answered, pressing me back into the wall and wasting no time reconnecting our lips.
It wasn't until Patrick rounded the corner and quickly covered his eyes with a disgruntled groan. “God, can a man use the toilet without havin' to see his sister doing… that?”
With haste, Jake and I fixed our clothes and bashfully leaned against the wall. “Sorry, Pat.”
He walked past us, shaking his head. “I don't wanna see none of that when I walk back out. Get a room or something.”
The rest of the night was filled with laughter and too many shots, but it was good. As we played our shitty drinking games and teased one another I was blissfully content. All thoughts of the restaurant, the painting, Rada, Tony… It was pushed so far into the back of my mind that it was nothing more than a blurry memory.
As Jake walked Quinn and me to my apartment I noticed how relaxed she seemed. Even in my slightly drunk state, I recognized how the tension seemed to have lifted from her shoulders as she walked beside Jake with a smile. She felt safe with him and it made my chest feel warm and fuzzy. When we reached my door, she turned and hugged him and kissed his cheek. “Thank you.”
“Anytime,” he replied, awkwardly patting her head. “I mean it.”
“I know.”
Giving them both a fond look I pressed one last kiss to Jake's lips. “Goodnight, tough guy. Try not to get beat up on your way home.”
He chuckled. “I'll do my best.”
“Tell our cat goodnight from me!”
“Goodnight, Lena,” he hollered as he walked down the sidewalk.
Inside Quinn and I flopped onto my bed, both tossing and turning, fighting over the blanket to try and get comfortable. “Hey,” I whispered as we both finally settled. “What happened tonight?”
She snuggled into the pillow and shook her head. “Don’t worry about it, Lee.”
“Quinn-”
“Seriously,” she replied quickly, a smile tugging at her lips. “My big brother took care of it.”
Even in my inebriated state, I didn’t need to ask who she was talking about. The answer was clear. I smiled and closed my eyes. “Jake’s good at that.”
“Yeah, he is.”
*
Jake stood in front of the bar, watching the workers closely as they situated the lights. Mr. Hiragana and I walked through the space of the new restaurant, now finally cleared of garbage and wreckage. It looked bigger than it had, but that might've just been how the fixed walls and proper lighting made it feel. “So,” the man beside me began, “I assume you and your colleagues have discussed the design of the space?”
“We have,” I answered, again glancing at Jake. “Scott doesn't care either way, so long as the kitchen is big enough with new appliances. Jake wanted full control of the bar.” With a smile, I handed him the simple sketches I’d done. “And you know me, I'm the one with the vision.”
“Of course,” he agreed, eyes carefully looking over the pages with a smile. “Your visions never cease to amaze me, little fish.”
Nudging him with my elbow I smiled. “So, you think it's doable?”
“It is fairly simple.” Handing the papers to the lead on the project they exchanged a few words before he patted my hand and looked around the room. “This will be the pride of the city when all is said and done.”
“That's ambitious,” I said with a laugh. “The big apples got a lot of gems.”
Nodding Mr. Hiragana said again, “And this will be one of them.”
With a tilt of my head and a soft smile, I squeezed his hand. “Were you always this optimistic?”
“Only after I met you,” he replied, squeezing my hand back. 
“Was I ever this optimistic?” A sad feeling took root in my chest as I looked around at the clean slate. “It feels like so long ago that I had something like this… A dream.”
Mr. Hiragana nodded, his thoughtful eyes never leaving my face as he answered, “You have been through much these years we have been apart. You have changed… Grown not only in body but in mind. The little fish I met at that hotel so many years ago is not the same one that stands before me now. You have known sorrow, fear, loss.” With a proud gleam in his eyes, he nodded more assuredly. “And in spite of it all, you have survived. It is normal to lose one's optimism after such a trying journey. But, one day you will find it again.”
“You've grown wiser in our time apart,” I deduced.
With a deep laugh, he shook his head. “In some ways, I suppose. All that live to be my age have some wisdom to depart onto younger ears.” With a glance at Jake, he smirked. “Though, some of that wisdom is repeated words said by a much wiser voice than mine.”
“How do you mean?”
“Slowly, then all at once.” His words made everything still as Rada's bright smile and tender kiss on my head warmed me. Mr. Hiragana smiled again. “This is what she always said when encouraging you to follow your heart, yes?”
My eyes drifted towards the bar where Jake paced behind the wooden bartop. His eyes darted back and forth, memorizing the space he'd claimed as his and visualizing whatever it was his mind had thought up for it. For a split second, it was like I too could see that bright image he had in his head. A bar with soft lights and glittering bottles, pictures of everyone that mattered littering the wall behind it. A place that felt lavish and expensive without being so snooty and uptight. A place to feel at home. 
Then that all vanished as his head turned and those blue eyes pierced mine. The vision faded from his mind, replaced by another… Less focused one. That wicked gleam shined like the sun over water as his tongue darted out to wet his lips and his eyes lazily moved down the length of me. Sinful. That was the only word I knew that properly described him as I broke eye contact with him and cleared my throat.
“Thank you.” I looked back up at him, ignoring the knowing look he gave me in return, and bowed my head. “For helping me find my way.”
He bowed his head in return. “You have always known your way, Little Fish. I have simply reminded you of it.”
I glanced at the time and bowed again. “We should be going.”
“I look forward to our next meeting.” He squeezed my hand one last time. “They would be proud of you.”
After leaving the crew behind to work on the building Jake and I headed to work. We made small talk about the progress of the restaurant, a subject Jake was still clearly uncomfortable with. “Mr. Hiragana says we'll probably be able to open before next years up.”
Jake stiffly nodded, eyes still staring straight ahead. “Oh yeah?”
“Yeah,” I answered, watching him carefully. “So, how are you feeling about the whole thing?”
“Fine.”
I reached out and stopped him mid-step, my hand carefully laying on his arm and encouraging him to look at me. “Jake.”
He shook his head and sighed, “I feel fine. Excited… But… It's… It's just a lot and it's complicated.”
“Anything I can do to help?” I asked with a tender tilt of my head.
“No, I don't think so.”
I shrugged. “Well, I give you full permission to be an asshole about restaurant shit while you figure it out. That help?”
Jake chuckled, visibly pleased with the idea of an asshole pass. “Maybe a little.”
“Good,” I beamed back as the heavy cloud of tension dissipated and the rest of our walk felt normal again. It wasn't until we entered 22West that the weight of everything came crashing down over me all over again.
A new painting hung on the wall, not one nearly as painful to look at, but another all the same. The light blues of the waves gradually faded into black as the painting shifted focus from the boat - my mother's boat - to the nothingness that lurked beneath the water. My heart dropped into my stomach, twisting and tightening until it was nothing more than a ball of iron filling my stomach with dread.
*
The clinking of silverware felt louder that family meal than any other, at least it did to Jake. He sat next to Lena, whose eyes hadn't left the painting since they'd arrived. It was a simple image of a boat and the ocean depths, but he knew what it really meant to her… Some of it anyway. As his eyes passed between the painting and Lena's emotionless face, Jake wanted nothing more than to ask the question that hung on the tip of his tongue.
Why does this make you feel so afraid? 
His best and only guess was that it had something to do with Anthony… Something to do with the three years that Lena tried her damnedest to never focus on. But, in that curious, protective way of his, Jake wanted to know more. He wanted to understand the situation fully so he could at least make an attempt to lessen the impact of it.
They had been the only two that hadn't already gotten dressed in those hideous shirts, having been late to oversee things at the new restaurant space, and as they changed in the quiet of an empty locker room Jake felt relieved no one else was here. The apprehensive, almost avoidant air around Lena never once lifted as he turned to look at her. “You okay?”
She didn't even glance at him when she answered, “It's just… A lot…”
He found it ironic that her words – her feelings mirrored his so perfectly. Any other time it would have made him chuckle, but right now all he wanted was to make her feel better. The panic in her voice as she screamed at him to get out the other day had made him feel physically sick. Seeing her using pain to somehow try to ignore the memories made him feel even worse. Jake wanted - needed - to help her.
“So take it out on me,” Jake suggested, her words from their walk circling around in his head as he closed his locker.
“What?”
“All that shit you're holding onto, take some of it out on me.”
“I'm not gonna do that.”
“Why not?” He asked with a hopeful smirk. “Like me too much?”
“Less and less each minute,” she weakly joked.
“Let's play a game,” he offered. “We go back in time tonight to before we became friends. I'll be my charming self and you can be a bitch.”
“Jake…”
Pushing himself off his locker he chuckled. “Oh come on, princess. Have some fun. Play a game with me.”
Shaking her head Lena finally nodded. “Alright, fine, I'll play.”
Jake smirked down at her. “See ya downstairs, Lana.”
“See ya, jerk.”
Tonight was gonna be fun.
*
“Behind,” Jake deadpanned for the third time tonight, the mischievous glow in his eyes the only thing giving away his true emotions. “Watch where you're standing, Lana.”
He’d been purposefully waiting until I’d stepped up behind him to turn directly into me and pretend to be annoyed. Part of his “game”. I'd been skeptical of his plan and it’d taken me a minute to adjust to the amped-up brand of his usual asshole behaviors, but once I did I actually found the whole thing… Fun… “Watch where you're walking, jerk.”
Jake slid out of the kitchen with nothing more than a smile. Everyone around us looked confused, but shocking none of them said a word. Isaac and Scott gave me the occasional questioning look, likely expecting me to explain it later. I didn't care about any of that though. I didn't care about the new painting or the past it dug up. I didn't care about Tony's obvious involvement. All I cared about was thinking up a new snarky comment to hit Jake with the next time I saw him.
I continued to switch between line and dish before moving to help restock the bar. Jake saw me the second I left the kitchen with the two bottles in my hand and slid to stand in the middle of the bar space, shaking his cocktail. “Sorry, I need the room.”
“Idiot,” I mumbled under my breath, just loud enough for him to hear me as I pressed my chest up against his back to slide past him. “Good thing for you I don't mind getting up close and personal.”
“Lucky me,” he replied, pursing his lips as he watched me bend over to grab the now-empty rack for the glasses. 
He slid the drink to the guest who had ordered it and quickly turned, putting his body directly behind mine so I'd run into him when I stood up. I played into his hand and with an exaggerated eye roll I mimicked his words, “Behind.”
“Sorry,” he taunted. “I was just admiring the view.”
“I'm just surprised you have the time to admire anyone else's ass when you're so obviously in love with your own.”
Chuckling he let me pass. “I assure you, an ass like yours puts mine to shame, princess.”
“How flattering,” I deadpanned. “Save some of that charm for the people dumb enough to pay you, pretty boy.”
The night dragged on, but I hardly noticed how long it really was. Once the guests had vacated the dining room everyone drank themselves into a better mood. Nicky left early, leaving Jake and me to close the bar down. Next to me, Jake finished counting his tips with a click of his tongue, “Only four hundred tonight.”
“Well,” I sarcastically remarked, putting a bottle back in place. “Looks like tonight's gonna be a big fat bust. If only there was a way you could salvage your wounded ego.”
“Wanna know what I think?” He asked, ignoring my taunt as he side-eyed me. He poured Heather's drink into a to-go cup with a thoughtful grin.
“Desperately,” I answered in that slightly mocking tone he was known for.
Jake slid the cup to her and watched the group start to leave. “I think I should snag us some food from the kitchen while you grab a bottle from the wine cellar,” he turned and looked me up and down, reminiscent of how he had in the beginning. “Then we meet at my place in a half hour.”
The look in his eyes told me exactly what his words didn't, but I still wanted to hear him say it. With a coy smile and a tiny step too close, I asked in a light, teasing tone, “Like a date?”
“If that's what you wanna call it,” he replied just as teasing, but both of us could pick out the genuine nature in each other's words.
My heart did a flip inside. For the first time since the painting had arrived 22West felt like it should. It felt like just another space, one I didn't feel paranoid or anxious in. Jake was there, standing in front of me, inviting me to spend the night with him… Inviting me to forget about anything and everything else. Mr. Hiragana’s words - Rada’s words - echoed in my mind. “Slowly, then all at once.”
“It’s a date then,” I answered, a sudden hopefulness, or maybe blind courage, refusing to let old fears rob me of this - of anything else with Jake.
That cocky grin of his made me roll my eyes as he kept up the persona of that asshole-ish self we’d be toying around with all through service. “See you there, Princess.”
“Don’t get too cocky, pretty boy, or I’ll stand you up.”
Jake chuckled and shook his head. “No, you won’t.”
God this shouldn’t be so fun. “Won’t I?”
He bent his head down, crowding my space and letting his eyes shamelessly roam down to my cleavage. “You want this too bad to stand me up.”
I replied through the feeling of heat rising up my neck. “You seem confident about that.”
“I am confident,” he answered, tugging his lower lip between his teeth for a moment. “That’s the point of this game, isn’t it? We pretend to be the assholes we were to each other when we first met so we can finally just say what we really mean?”
Though I hadn’t seen the game that way before, it clicked the second Jake had said it. Everything that had happened the past few days… Thanksgiving, the bar, tonight, one thing after another after another after another all getting in the way of what I, we, wanted and dreaded more than anything. The conversation. The admittance. The game had given me - given us both - the courage to just come out with it, to commit once and for all to an action. A date. “You’re right.”
Jake smirked even wider, cocky and dickish as he leaned in closer, tilting his head ever so slightly in that smart-ass kind of way. “Am I?”
“Don’t ruin it.” I carefully pushed against his chest and took a step back. “Now, excuse me. I have an expensive bottle to steal.”
“That’s my girl,” he muttered, just low enough that I couldn’t be totally sure he’d even said it. He watched me turn and walk away, the burning feeling of his eyes on me only making my heart beat faster in my chest.
Down in the chilled wine cellar, I stood, staring at the shelves, as my mind caught up with my body. A date. Holy shit. This is a date. I glanced down at my plain attire and shook my head. “Nope.” Digging my phone out of my pocket I moved forward, scanning the bottles on the shelves as the line rang.
“Hello?” Quinn sang into the phone.
“Where are you?”
“Wow, not even a hi, how’s it going?”
“Quinn, no time!” I replied, hurriedly. “I need an outfit.”
She made a curious noise over the phone. “What for?”
“I…” A stupid gin made my cheeks burn as I answered, “I have a date.”
“Are you two finally calling your one on one time, a date?” Quinn inquired with a light teasing tone. “How bold of you.”
“Shut up, do you have something I can wear or not?”
With a sigh, I could hear her as she started flipping through her rack of clothes. “If you want my professional opinion, showing up in nothing at all would be your best option.”
Rolling my eyes I finally found the bottle I'd been searching for. “Quinn…”
“Fiiinnee, I've got a few options. See you in ten?”
“Sounds good, thank you!”
“Det-”
“Details as payment, I know Q.”
Bottle in hand I hurried up the stairs, saying goodnight to the dish crew as they finished changing and headed out into the chilled air. My steps felt both lighter and heavier as I walked beneath the neon lights and moved around the slow crowds. I tried not to focus on what this meant… On the obvious expectation that both Jake and I had at this point, but that was practically impossible.
We'd already done everything else, a fact everyone was keen on reminding us. We'd kissed and touched and whispered heated words. Jake and I were far past any normal friendship. We had been for a while. Yet, there we were using games to commit to an actual date. There we were coming up with some kind of excuse to meet at his apartment where things were bound to go a very specific way.
Are we even going to get to open this bottle? I wondered, nails picking at the fancy label. Or is he going to just kiss me the second I walk in? The vivid and tantalizing image of him pulling me into his apartment and pressing me into his front door filled my brain. Am I going to be able to not kiss him first? Another valid question.
Quinn's apartment wasn't far from Ozzy's or the club. She lived a few blocks up the way in a modest one-bedroom place she'd busted her ass to afford back in the day. The old, sun-faded brick shifted to peeling wallpaper as I made my way inside and up the creaking staircase to the third floor. The second door down the hallway, the only door not decorated with scuff marks from people's shoes. 
Ari was waiting to open the door with a wide smirk. “TIGER!” She purred, pulling me inside the dimly lit warm space and pressing a kiss to my cheek. “I heard you have a daaaaattteeee.”
Quinn's apartment was always in some state of chaos. Shoes were tossed around, blankets hung off of every soft surface and her makeup and hair supplies were scattered around her place like hidden gems. She liked it this way, liked the way it made things feel crowded and lived in. Having grown up with nothing Quinn collected things and held them close like a slutty magpie.
The warm lights from her lamps lit up the living space, where it appeared I'd interrupted a dinner date. Quinn emerged from her bedroom to the left and helped peel Ari off me with a loving look and teasing in her eyes. “It's not a big deal remember?”
“Oh yeah,” Ari giggled. “Just two friends hanging out late into the night.”
“You two are the worst,” I grumbled, setting the bottle down on Quinn's counter. “So, any good choices?”
With an offended look, Quinn waved me into her bedroom. “As if you need to ask.”
Ari looked at the bottle with wide eyes and a huge grin. “Thief!” She gasped. “I love you!”
“Don't open it,” I called out to her. “If there's any left tomorrow I'll bring it up to you guys.”
Quinn's eyes widened and she practically vibrated as she hopped onto her bed among the outfits she'd pulled from her closet. “Is this gonna be an overnight date?”
“Maybe,” I answered, trying not to let my excitement or my terror change my voice.
“Oh my god, are you gonna let him take your V card?”
I nudged her leg, almost sending her off the bed. “My V card's been gone for a while Q.”
She shook her head. “It's been over a year since that cards gotten punched in. It counts.”
“Outfits,” I sighed, changing the subject.
“Well now that I know it's a slumber party,” she rummaged through her pile of clothes and pulled out a little black dress. “This is what you're wearing.”
“I don't get to try anything else on?”
“Nope!”
With a groan, I grabbed the dress from out of her hands and stomped out of her room towards the bathroom. “Why did I even ask for your help?”
“Because I'm the best!” Was her loudly overjoyed reply.
Once I'd closed myself into the small bathroom with old checkered floor tiling and the tiny pink sink I looked at the dress she'd chosen. It wasn't ugly or too gaudy. It was simple, black silk with a modest hem of lace around the top and bottom. The spaghetti straps were thin, but I was just thankful there were straps at all… Or a dress at all for that matter.
I took my time sliding it on, stuffing my bra and other clothes under the sink until I could come back and get them. In Quinn's mirror, I fluffed my hair and fixed my makeup, trying to focus on the excited feeling in my chest instead of the anxious ball in my stomach. This isn't a big deal. It's just Jake. 
Just Jake… As if that had ever been true.
Unveiling the dress to Quinn and Ari resulted in the two catcalling me for five minutes. “God damn!”
“It's about time you let those girls out to play again!” Ari laughed, looking at my boobs. “No bra too? Jakey's a lucky boy tonight!”
“I'm leaving my clothes under your sink,” I told Quinn as I gathered my things and grabbed the bottle off the counter. “Thanks for the dress!”
“No problem! Have fun being a slut tonight!”
Flipping her off I left the apartment, trying to calm my nerves with each step forward. It wasn't a big deal. It was just Jake. This was just a date.
*
Jake had spent a solid ten minutes meticulously opening and cleaning each of the oysters he'd grabbed from the kitchen. He'd found a niceish plate to put them on and shooed his cat off the counter. Then he'd started truly freaking out.
Lena was on her way with whatever bottle she'd grabbed. They'd drink, eat, and then the inevitable would happen. They’d share a look. He'd touch her or she'd touch him and from there they'd be unable to stop themselves from checking off their list of rainchecks all in one go.
He turned on a movie, the first movie his hands could find, and he cleaned. It wasn't really an effective way to keep his mind off the possibilities that were at this point all but certainties, but he still did it. Maybe it was, to keep his hands busy or maybe he just felt self-conscious about Lena returning to his space.
By the time she knocked on his door, everything was clean and ready. Everything except for him. Do we continue our game? He asked himself, hand hovering over the doorknob. Would that make things easier or would that just make me seem like an asshole?
Opening the door he came face to face with her fluffy red hair and tempting lips and… Fucking hell. The little black dress she wore hugged her body in all the right places, showing off her lean shoulders and peaked nipples. He hadn't expected her to change. Lena smiled, that nervous smile that made the corners of her lips twitch and held up the bottle. “I hope you like champagne.”
Say something. Anything. And say something he did. “You're late.”
Asshole it is I guess.
Thankfully Lena just rolled her eyes and leaned against his doorframe. “Aw, did I keep you waiting?”
“A little,” he said, clearing his throat as he moved to let her in. “It’s been a damn chore keeping this cat off the oysters.”
As if Jake had bribed him to, Hemingway made a not-so-sneaky break for the plate on the counter. Jake jumped, intercepting him just in time. The cat hissed and angrily swatted Jake's arms as he carried him to the sofa. From his kitchen, Lena laughed. “I'm sorry. If I'd have known you were in a heated standoff with the cat I would have hurried.”
He shrugged his shoulders, casually making his way back to the kitchen. “So, champagne?”
“One of the more expensive bottles of it,” she promised, handing the bottle to him for inspection. 
Jake barely looked at it, focusing more on her. She looked nervous, but the good kind. The kind that told him she was comfortable being here on this date with him. That was all he could ask for - all he wanted. He'd only take the night as far as she was comfortable with, but judging by the look in her eyes Jake was confident she wanted things to go the same way he did.
So, he grabbed a pair of his shitty glasses from the cupboard and started to open the bottle. She arched her brow. “Not even gonna look at it?”
“I trust your taste in drinks.”
“Even after I gave you nothing but shitty ones that one night?”
Jake chuckled, popping the cork and nodding at her. “Even after that.” He poured her a glass and slid the plate of oysters between them. “So, how’s Quinn?”
Lena blushed, glancing down at her dress. “Was it that obvious?”
“Mhm,” he replied. “I've seen Quinn dress you up enough times to recognize her work.”
“Well, what do you think?” She asked, taking a step back and raising her arms to give him a full view of her.
What did he think? As if she didn't already know every single thought ran through his head. Jake could have voiced any of the lewd things - god knew he'd done that thousands of times before - but instead he found himself answering more sincerely, “I think you look perfect.”
*
My question had been simple, given how well I knew Jake and how his dirty mind worked. It was simple. Ask an obvious question about the very sultry dress Quinn had given me and received an equally obvious dirty response. Simple. Casual. And not at all what Jake said.
“I think you look perfect.”
Perfect. That wasn't a word I was used to hearing, especially when it came to me. Yet this would mark - at least - the second time Jake had used it. Butterflies filled my stomach, filling me with that fuzzy feeling of warm tingles. If it had been anyone else using that word I would have known exactly how to respond. Bullshit. But, I knew he meant it. The look in his eyes, the hint of a real smile, the way he looked just as surprised as I did.
Jake thought I looked perfect.
“So, how do you like your new TV?” I asked turning my now blushing face away from him to look at the bright screen where Egon and the rest of the Ghostbusters were quietly playing out their scenes. My face burned even hotter as I remembered Halloween… Remembered how good Jake had looked dressed as Egon. Maybe he still has that costume?  “Ghostbusters?”
“It's a good movie,” he defended, but the wicked gleam in his eye told me he was thinking the same as me.
Smirking, I shrugged. “Woulda thought you'd turn on Romeo and Juliet.”
With a smirk, Jake nodded, “Also a good movie.”
I used the heated tension humming between us as an opportunity to take the first oyster. The salty taste washed over my tongue as I examined the slightly shiny shell in my hand. “So, what's your plan, pretty boy?”
“Am I supposed to have a plan?” He asked with a chuckle.
“I mean I'd think so, after your very confident invitation at work.”
Jake shrugged, taking a moment to enjoy an oyster. “Honestly, I just wanted to be around you.”
“You couldn't be around me at Ozzy's?”
“Okay… I wanted to be around you alone. That better?”
I hummed, beaming at his admission. “Yep.”
He rolled his eyes, casually pushing the plate out of Hemingway's reach. “Don't sound so smug, princess. You were dying to come be alone with me.”
“Hardly!” I argued - lied.
Jake stepped around the counter, placing his body flush up against my own and giving me that look. “Hardly? So you don't want me to do this?”
His fingers skimmed up my exposed thigh, dragging the lace hem of the dress up. I gulped, my eyes shifting to his lips without a second thought. “I want you to do whatever you wanna do.”
“Oh, come on, princess. You can do better than that.”
Fuck it. “I… want you… To kiss me.”
He lifted his hand, fingers grazing the side of my neck as he carefully tilted my head up even more. Our lips brushed against each other, a sigh of anticipation hot on our mingled breaths, and then… Darkness.
The lights cut out, casting Jake and me in complete darkness. Outside horns honked and the chaos told us both that the block - hell maybe even the city, had just shared our experience. Jake’s hands drifted to my shoulders, holding onto me for a moment as he adjusted to the dark. “Of fucking course.”
I swallowed my disappointment and forced a chuckle out of my dry throat. “Don’t suppose you've got any candles on hand?”
“I think I have a few,” he answered. “Let me get a lighter or something.”
Jake stumbled around in the dark until he reached his jacket, pulling the cigarettes and lighter out. The flame did little to light the room, but after a minute of searching his bare cupboards, he found what little he had in candles. I could see the tension in his shoulders almost as clearly as the sour purse of his lips. “Hopefully it's not the whole city.”
“Yeah.” He answered through clenched teeth as handed me the lighter. “I'm gonna go see if anyone outside knows what's going on.”
“Okay,” I replied, watching him go. “I'll light these I guess.”
I stared into the flame as I held the lighter to the wick of the candle and let out a defeated sigh. It's always something. Betting lesbians, a money-hungry Russian, the past, the future… Maybe it was a sign. Maybe the universe in its infinite wisdom was trying to tell us we weren't good together.
The wax dripped over the edge of the candle as I held the light to it. “Bullshit.”
Fuck the universe, I decided. Fuck the past or the future. Fuck everything that tries to tell me what I want.
I wanted Jake. Physically, romantically, in any and every way that he would have me. I wanted him. And tonight was going to be the night whether the city or the universe liked it or not.
I carefully lit the remaining candles, illuminating his apartment just enough to see the outline of his furniture. As I set the last down on the counter I leaned over to give Hemingway a reassuring pat, all the while trying to hold onto the newfound courage making my stomach twist into knots. “It's alright.”
The cat seemed to release some of his tension, using my distracted state to snag an oyster and take shelter in the bathroom where he decided to hide in Jake's open laundry bin. As I quietly chuckled at the way the tips of his ears poked out of the top, and the ferocious noises he made dining on his stolen meal, the apartment door opened and slammed shut as Jake returned. With a silent curse, he threw his jacket and shoes off to the side. “Well, nobody knows shit, but everyone's expecting the power to be out for the rest of the night at least.”
“Damn,” I remarked, trying not to talk myself out of taking action. “Right when your plan was just starting to work.”
It was a flirtatious little taunt, wholeheartedly meant to shift Jake’s focus from the unexpected interruption and back to the fact that we'd been on the verge of a kiss when the lights went out. Sadly, that didn't happen. Instead, Jake continued to grumble, scouring his shelf for a pack of cigarettes and then his lighter, which I still held. “Damn, where the fuck did it go?”
I watched him search for a minute before holding up the object he sought with a smug smirk. “Looking for this?”
He turned to look at me, face set in a grumpy scowl as he lifted the candle off the coffee table and held the flame to the end of his cigarette, lighting it. “Nope.”
“Suit yourself,” I replied, bothered as I set the lighter down on the counter. “Now what?”
Flopping down on his couch Jake laughed humorlessly. “I don't have any board games we can play if that's what you're hoping for.”
“I’m sure we can think of something more interesting to do than play a board game.” Hint. Hint.
Jake rolled his eyes gesturing to the darkened apartment. “You're welcome to look around for something to do.”
DO ME! I wanted to shout at him. My eyes scanned the shelves, looking for something that could lighten Jake's pissy mood and somehow salvage the night. “Where's your camera?” I asked. “We could take some more pictures.”
“In case you didn't notice, we don't exactly have the best lighting for that,” he snarkily replied.
“So you wanna just sit in the dark and do nothing?”
“I'm doing something,” he answered, lifting up his cigarette.
“Well, maybe I wanna do more than sit and smoke.” Jake ignored my statement, staring at the wall in front of him with a bitter, disappointed look on his face. “Really? You gonna ignore me now?”
He glanced at me and shrugged. “You're more than welcome to find something to do.”
Idiot. After a moment of watching the angry puffs of smoke exhale from his lungs I pushed myself away from the counter and flopped down on the couch beside him with a frustrated sigh. Jake's eyes lowered to watch my boobs bounce with the movement. Of course, that'd be what cheers him up. “You know most people would be more concerned with entertaining their guests.”
It was like a light finally flicked on in his brain and with a suggestive raise of his brows and a not at all subtle smirk, Jake and I were back on the same page. Only now I felt like making him work for it.
"Oh, you want some attention?" He took another long drag of the cigarette, slowly sliding closer to me, closing the space between us. He was right there, just a head tilt away from my lips. He timed his head down, seeking me out, expecting me to make it easy.
“You're insufferable." I leaned back, crossing my arms - pressing my breasts up to really catch his attention. He breathed smoke out across my face with a light laugh and a smirk. 
"You like it," he whispered, our noses bumping one another.
"This isn't something friends usually do," I said quietly, smugly. Resuming the game we had earlier, the game meant to make this easier, and now the game that I'd use to torture him.
Jake was more smug as he grinned back at me, his eyes dark with lust and sin that would put even the devil to shame. "Yeah, well, I don't want to be your fucking friend." For a split second that something real flashed in his eyes, a fleeting feeling or thought he didn't dare let himself hold onto for too long.
I sighed, that same wave of reality washing over me, forcing my heart to beat quicker and my mind to race with doubt. Moving my head back a little more I whispered the thought, the fear that had kept us from committing to this all along, "This is a bad idea."
He nodded, not in agreement, but in acknowledgment that this was the very fear he shared. Adam's apple bobbing, Jake's eyes dropped to my lips as he sighed, "One of my worst."
I wasn't prepared for the kiss, or the way his hand wound into my hair to pull me closer. Though, I should have been. Jake tasted like oysters and champagne, smoke and, and want. He pulled me effortlessly into his lap, coaxing my mouth open and tangling his tongue with mine to effectively silence that pesky thought in both our minds. He was addictive and he knew it. Smug bastard, he was.
Of all the times we'd kissed, this one felt the most like our first. Maybe it was because of the way he'd been acting like he had in the beginning, asshole-ish and reserved. Or maybe it was because we both knew this was it. There was no forgotten thing, no drunk Russian or nosey lesbians. It was just us.
This was it.
I pulled back slightly, my hand smoothing over his jaw as we both dropped the act and slowly started to abandon our fear in favor of that intimate thing that hummed between us. Still, I couldn't resist the taunt that slid off my tongue, "So, you don't want to be my friend anymore?"
Jake scoffed, pressing another kiss to my lips. "Stop talking."
"I thought you liked being my friend," I continued to tease, threading my fingers into his hair as his mouth moved down the column of my neck. I had to hold in a moan as his teeth tugged at the skin there.
"I like this better," he breathed out, smirking against my skin. His hands gripped my thighs and pulled me down further, rubbing our hips together in a way that sent pleasure up my spine. This time I couldn't contain the wanton moan. Jake chuckled. "Much better."
With a breathless huff, I pulled his hair until his head tilted back up to me. "Shut up."
“Oh,” he whispered breathlessly, lips pulling up into that cocky smirk of his. “Now you wanna stop talking?”
Before I could answer Jake had shifted, rolling me onto the couch beneath him. The new cushions were slow to yield to the weight of us, stiff but not uncomfortable. Above me, Jake's chain necklace dangled, glinting in the low moonlight as it kissed my lips just like he'd done seconds ago. He smirked down at me for a second before all the attitude and the teasing faded, leaving him just smiling down at me as he lifted a hand to my face.
His fingers traced my lips, gliding along my jaw. The swell of warmth… Of want made my chest constrict almost to the point of pain. Out of all the nights we’d spent together - out of all the things we'd already done - this moment was unlike all of them. I wanted him more than I could even understand and in some way… Through some invisible bond between us, I knew he felt the same. 
I lifted my head off the cushion and chased his lips. “I wanna stop talking now.”
Jake's still smokey breath fanned across my face as he chuckled. “Okay, Princess. No more talking.”
Our mouths met again, eager and hungry. It was like the feeling of his velvety lips on me, of his hands stroking and squeezing, erasing every thought in my brain. Everything that wasn't him just suddenly didn't matter. Jake dragged his tongue down my neck, fingers tugging the straps of the dress off my shoulders so his lips and teeth could literally my collarbones with kisses and bite marks.
To my surprise he kept moving down lower and lower until his hands were tucked up my dress, pulling my panties off my legs. Jake bit into the meat of my thigh, dragging me down the couch until my ass was literally in his hands. I lifted my head just in time to catch a glimpse of his dark head of hair vanishing beneath my dress as he dove mouth-first into my pussy.
“Oh my god!” I squeezed in shock as his warm tongue lather over my clit. “Jake!”
His fingers squeezing my thighs and holding them open was the only answer I received as his tongue continued its skilled work. With my head pressed firmly to the cushions, I gripped onto his hair, lifting my hips in time with his tongue movements and chasing the pleasure he so shamelessly offered. “Yes! Oh, Jake, right there!”
His teeth grazed my clit, sending me spasming as I came. That didn't stop him though. Jake's tongue just kept licking and sucking, drinking up every ounce that I had to offer until I was practically vibrating beneath him. I pulled his hair harder, pushing him off me and quickly standing up. Before he could ask what I was doing I tugged at his shirt. “Take this off.”
The wicked grin he answered with glowed in the candlelight. “Not gonna say please?”
Reaching down I tugged on his chain, taunting him with an almost kiss. “Now.”
Humming Jake rose from his knees and lifted the shirt over his head, spreading his arms and lightly flexing. “Happy now?”
I raked my nails over his abdomen, instantly undoing his belt as Jake's hands started sliding my arms through the straps of my dress. “I'll be much happier when we're both naked.”
“That makes two of us,” he agreed with a groan as the dress slid off my body with no resistance. Jake's mouth fell open as he lifted his lands to tease my nipples. “God you're perfect.”
My fingers fumbled, head nearly falling back as the pleasure his touch brought spiked through me. “Jake.”
His body pressed closer to mine, forcing me to step back until the backs of my legs hit his bed. “Are you sur-”
I silenced him with a finger over the lips and a gentle reminder, “No more talking.”
Without any more chances to let my fear win out, I finished with his belt and zipper. Kissing down his chest I slowly sank to my knees, taking his pants and underwear with me until his hard, pulsing cock was dangling in front of me. Jake watched me press a few light kisses to the head of him as he carefully lifted his feet out of his jeans. His breaths stuttered as I licked him base to tip, swirling my tongue around him the way I knew he liked from the first time.
“Fuck,” he breathed, quickly taking hold of my face. “As much as I fucking love that mouth of yours princess… I wanna actually fuck you tonight.”
I grinned, kissing his cock again. “Later then?”
“Absolutely.”
Standing in front of him, I set my hands on his broad shoulders, leaning up to kiss him again. Jake's hands wound into my hair as he turned us, pulling me on top of him as he settled on his back. I shifted my hips and angled his cock perfectly allowing me to finally, slowly begin to sink down on top of him. Jake's eyes fluttered shut, his mouth falling open as a surprised, pleasured sound fell from between his lips. His hands scrambled over my waist, squeezing my flesh. “Fuck.”
The stretch wasn't painful, not after the care Jake had taken, but I found myself shaking. It felt so good. Finally having him inside me, the impressive dick his ego permitted me from ever complimenting, hit all the right spots. It'd been a year since I'd had sex, but already, I found myself questioning if anyone else had ever made me feel like this with nothing more than one tiny thrust.
Once I was fully seated on top of him I found my eyes closing, head tilting back as I enjoyed the simple feeling of him twitching inside me, breathing beneath me, holding me. “Holy shit.”
“You're not wasting any time,” he said, holding onto me like his life depended on it. “Got somewhere to be?”
“You said you wanted to fuck me,” I replied, ignoring his teasing to lift my hips and bending over him. “So fuck me.”
Jake kissed me hard, setting one hand on the small of my back and using it to push me back down onto his dick. My sharp gasp broke our kiss and spurred my body into moving. Every thrust sent pure pleasure radiating through my body. Every noise Jake made was echoed by the ones I made. It was that word he'd kept saying. Perfect.
When my legs started to shake and my body felt heavier to lift in the fervorous up and down movements, Jake sat up. His tongue lathered over a nipple, earning another sharp sound from my throat, as his fingers traced up my spine and gently closed around the back of my neck. I could feel his lips curl up into a smirk as he pulled my nipple between his teeth. “Come on, princess. Don't stop.”
“Fuck,” I whispered, the desperate sound of his voice emptying my brain even more. “I… Oh god…”
“Don't tell me you're tired already,” he taunted, using his hands on my hip and neck to help lift and pull me. “We just got started.”
Grinding my teeth together to hold in the moan I bit back, “I should have guessed you'd be a pillow princess.”
Jake laughed, tilting his head up to kiss me again. “We can switch if you want.”
“Fuck you,” I answered breathlessly, my eyes punching together as the pleasure all began to build up inside me.
“That's what you're doing… Trying to at least.” He withdrew all attempts at helping me, returning his attention to my breasts.
“Jake,” I whined after what felt like hours. God, I'm out of Practice. Jake only hummed in reply to his name. “Please.”
More smug than ever he finally slid his hands to my waist and expertly flipped me onto my back. His sheets felt cold against my hot skin, but I hardly had a moment to focus on that when Jake wasted no time lifting one of my legs onto his shoulder and securing the other around his waist. “Try not to scream my name too loud, the neighbors tend to get mad about that.”
“You-” He thrust into me, the angle and the power behind it making sparks shoot up my stomach into my chest. “Oh fuck!”
“There you go,” he mumbled, fingers curling into the sheets by my head. “Let me hear those pretty noises.”
As he picked up the pace I realized I couldn't have denied his request even if I wanted to. Every noise I made echoed off the brick walls, every wet noise that his thrusts made only filled me with more fire. My fingers dug into his arms and clawed at his back as that coil in my gut wound tighter and tighter. “Jake,” I begged. “Don't stop!”
“Come on, princess,” he urged, pressing his lips to mine in a sloppy kiss. “I wanna feel you.”
“Ah!” I could feel myself tighten around him, drawing out another moan from Jake's lips.
“Fuck!” He cursed under his breath. “That's my girl. Come on… Come for me, Lena.”
That, the fucked out, desperate, adoring uttering of my name was what made the coil in my gut burst. Fingers digging into Jake's hair, pulling his lips down against mine I came around him, shaking as he thrust again and again and again, fucking me through the orgasm and into another as he came with me. His body tensed and shivered as he kissed me through his orgasm, pulling away to let out a shaky breath before he collapsed on top of me.
My chest heaved beneath him as I stretched my fingers and carefully pulled them from his hair. “Holy… Shit…”
Jake carefully rolled off me, throwing the condom away and collapsing next to me. “We should have been doing that this whole time.”
“Definitely,” I agreed, twisting my head to look at him… Afraid of what I'd find in his eyes when I did. Had this been a mistake?
Jake was smiling, genuinely smiling at me. His eyes were light and sparkling as he pulled me into his arms and threw his blanket over us both. His lips kissed my shoulders and my jaw and even though we’d just spent the last hour or more fucking I felt that swell of want again. “You know, we could be in the dark for a while.”
“All night even,” he agreed. “You should definitely stay the night.”
“Absolutely,” I agreed, kissing his lips. “And are you gonna… Entertain me?”
Nodding Jake traced the snake on my spine. “Of course. What kinda man would I be if I left you unsatisfied?”
It was going to be a long night. Long and sweaty and perfect.
*
Dom looked at the now entirely empty shop with a dead stare. His life's work was fucking gone, and it was all his fault. Desperate anger and a bitter, frustrated sorrow filled his lungs with a scream. He threw empty tool carts across the shop floor and kicked the side of the nearest car. Dom exploded, lashing out until he had to stop. 
His back slammed into one of the cars, and he bowed low. Defeated. The sound of her light footsteps treading through his mess gave him some tiny hint of hope. He watched her carefully slide into place beside him, looking out at the empty space. "Sorry."
"Stop." He shook his head, glaring at her. "I hate it when you apologize when you did nothin’ wrong."
Sarah giggled, bumping her shoulder into his. "Sorry."
"You're the worst."
She looked around with an exasperated sigh. "They really did a number on the place, huh?"
Nodding, he slapped the side of the car they leaned on. "Fuckers even took the damn hub caps."
"You are gonna take care of this, right, D?" Her emerald eyes sparkled up at him, hopeful and innocent. His baby sister. "I don't wanna lose you like Eddie."
His jaw clenched at the mention of the name. "Yeah, I'll take care of it."
She held out her pinky with tears in her eyes. "You promise?"
Dom wrapped his finger around hers and sighed, engulfing her in a big hug. "Yeah, I promise."
When he opened his eyes, Dom could still feel the warmth of Sarah's embrace. His mind clung to the sweet moments they'd shared until the end - until the pain made him feel like he couldn't breathe. That sensation forced him upright, scrambling to grab hold of the drugs he'd left at his bedside. He wanted to forget. More than anything, he wanted the pain to stop. 
Green eyes flashed in his mind. Hers and Lena's. He'd made them both a promise… A stupid fucking pinky swear. His fist tightened around the drugs as he forced himself to throw them across the room. "God dammit!"
"Well, ain't you just pathetic?”
Dom's head twisted to the door where Eddie lounged against the old frame. “The fuck are you doin here?”
Eddie shrugged, a heavy sigh following him as he sat in the cot opposite his. “It's her birthday today… Figured that's the kinda thing that warrants a temporary truce. We're family after all.”
“You're no family of mine,” he ground out.
Dom could see the hurt in Eddie's eyes, but as always he erased it with that goddamn smirk. “Feelings mutual, big brother. But, I ain't here for you. I'm here 'cause it's what she woulda wanted.”
“She doesn't get to want anything,” Dom said. “Not anymore.”
Eddie nodded, tensely. “Well, we both seem to have conflicting opinions about whose fault that is.”
“Get the fuck out!” Dom shouted, throwing himself to his feet to grab onto Eddie's jacket and throw him out the door. “You get the fuck out before I fucking kill you!”
“Oh, we both know how much you'd like that,” Eddie spat back, laughing in Dom's face. “Sibling killer that you are.”
It took four of his bikers to hold him back while Eddie waved off his men and left with a bitter curse in Spanish. After the noise of their car had gone, the bikers let him go and Dom was out the door. He needed some air. He needed some space away from this fucking warehouse… This fucking city.
There, illuminated in the golden rays of the rising sun, Mav sat on his bike, resting her head in her hands with a wide - real smile. Dom shook his head, forcing out the angry breath he'd been holding. “It's shit like this that makes everyone think you're a bitch.”
She just shrugged, that smile never faltering. “That a no to taking a joyride?”
“I could never say no to you.”
“It's one of the few things I like about you,” she teased, sitting up as he neared. The flippant, uncaring attitude fell for a moment as she asked, “You okay?”
Dom shook his head and answered with the truth, “No.”
Sliding back on the bike seat she patted the fine leather. “Come on then, big boy. Let's go for a ride.”
“Course, Mrs…. What is it now? Scott?”
Mav rolled her eyes. “As if I'd take that old fucks last name.”
With a chuckle, he smiled at her. “That's my Mav.”
“I'm not your anything,” she argued half-heartedly. 
Dom threw his leg over the seat and settled in with her sweet smell and soft hands around his waist. He revved the engine and Mav's arms squeezed him tighter. “You'll always be my Mav.”
“Just drive the damn bike, Dom.”
“Yes, Ma'am.”
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I found a nice video tribute to Jake, our favorite bad boy bartender.
Click HERE to be taken to it.
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soutcftime · 8 months
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Boyfriend - Jake (sweetbitter) x Reader.
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SUMMARY: Congratulations! You get a boyfriend. But how Jake would feel about that? It supposed you are not a thing so he shouldn't be mad, right?... Right?
NOTES: This was inspired by AI! Jake. Thank you AI! Jake, you made my night.
RANTING: E
WARNING: age gap (young reader), walking red flag Jake, jealous Jake, this is, again, very questionable. Smut written by Asexuals ™
-
"Jake"
You were just starting your shift when you approach to him. You were the new girl for a while, and of course, you fell into his charms.
Honestly, it was very out of yourself doing that. You hate the one night shit. And you were absolutely tired of it. No more bullshit to your life.
So, you decided, you were going to give a chance to the beautiful rugby lad from your university. He was sweet and nice, and really good playing rugby. And, better than anything, your father approved him. It was all you need to accept being his girlfriend.
No more casual encounters, no more sex in a bathroom, nor in the back of an ugly bar. No. More. Jake.
"Hm?" Jake doesn't even look at you, he seems very concentrate on cutting the lemons.
"I have to tell you something" you don't even know why do you say it like that. Like it's something really important and you need to have all his attention.
Perhaps Ari was right and you were nothing but an attention whore. Damn.
"What is it?" he glances at you. A curious glance.
"I have a boyfriend"
He blinks at you for a moment and then burst out a laugh.
"I'm sorry, am I supposed to be sad now or...?" he shakes his head, walking away from you. He had to attend the rest of the bar.
You feel your cheeks burning, an horrible feeling climbing your whole body. Humiliation.
Yeah, well. Maybe you deserved it. Why would Jake even care about it?
You sigh in resignation. Better focus on the job.
The job by his side. The whole night.
Now, why did you never listen to your dad? “bartending is shit, (Y/n). Get a real job.” Fucking old man was right.
"Can I know why did you tell me that?" you were cleaning the cups to put it on its place when he approached. You shrugged.
"Jesus Christ, Jake. I only told you that to make it clear that we cannot continue... you know..."
"Fuckin?" he finishes your sentence with a smirk.
You nod.
"Well, I don't care if you have 5 boyfriends right now. I'm still gonna ask you to come home with me tonight" he rests on the bar. His stupid smirk there on his lips.
You frown, who did he think you were?
"I'm going to say no, Jake. I'm being serious about this" he chuckles at your statement.
"Just for tonight, babe. You're not cheating if no one knows, right?" he raise his hand to touch slightly your chin. Just a little touch.
There was no way you are thinking about the proposal. No way, the rugby lad was decent. He likes you and you like him back. Stop it.
Well...
"It's still cheating if you and I know the truth, Jake" you arch your eyebrows, trying to prove your point.
Jake chuckles softly, dropping his arm at his side with a sigh.
"Alright, then. If you're so faithful to your boyfriend, just give me a kiss" you blink twice.
"Jake, I'm not--" you shut, just looking at him for a moment. "I won't..." you can't keep talking, so you just sigh and kiss his cheek briefly. "There. Happy now?"
Jake smiles, tilting his head to look at you properly.
"Good girl. Now..." he grabs your hand gently, caressing it with his thumb. "Come with me, your boyfriend will never know anything." he take a step closer, looking at you with his stupid puppy eyes.
"You are insufferable, Jake" you say instead. But you don't say an explicit no.
Jake takes it as a win.
"Yup, and you love it. Right?" he lets go your hand. A winning smile on his lips.
"I don't" but of course, you were lying. That was kinda fun, cause you were terrible at lying too.
"Yeah, you do. Stop deny it." he laughs softly, taking his steps back to his place of work. "Come with me tonight. Not to the club, my home" he propose.
And of course, you are going to say no. Because you have a boyfriend and you like him... right?
"Fucking hell" you say instead, nodding at his proposal.
-
Jake's flat is absolutely comfortable, and you really like it. The soft music on the back, the books, the posters. All of it. Even the plants that Jake loves.
You hate yourself for being there, anyway. You shouldn't. It was wrong. And you were going to break some poor boy heart just because you can't stay away from... him.
And even so, you accept the cup of wine that Jake gives to you. It's weirdly domestic. Too odd.
"So..." he says, lighting a cigarette for himself as he sits besides you on the couch. He left the cup rest on the little table in front of you. "I don't talk to you for a day and you get yourself a boyfriend? That's interesting" he smirk, holding the cigarette between his lips.
"Fuck off" you roll your eyes. It hasn't been a day, it has been a whole month.
He went to somewhere with Simone for vacations and didn't call at all. But that was okay, because you and him weren't dating. You were focusing on your studies and the job on the restaurant. That was all.
"Tell me about him, please. I'm dying to know" he release the smoke with a smirk. You can hear the sarcastic tone on his voice, so you don't answer to that.
"What's his name?" he insist, resting his foots on the table too.
You sigh. "His name is..."
Jake snores, loudly. Then he release the smoke again. Right into your face.
"Jesus, Jake. You're five" you finish your drink with one gulp.
"Oh, please. I don't care about your boyfriend at all, (Y/n). I only care about you and the fact that suddenly you decided to date a man" another man, Jake thought.
"I think I remember you said you don't care about me at all the last time we've been together" you raise your eyebrows, amused. "What? Are you going to tell me you're jealous now?" you tease him, turning around to face him.
He frowns, letting the cigarette rest on the table. "Yeah. I'm jealous as hell" he turns to face you. Two big hands grabbing your waist and pinning you into the couch. "I don't want anyone to have you, specially your stupid boyfriend. You should be mine"
He was talking dead serious, looking at your eyes with nothing but annoyance. He means it.
"No, you just angry because someone face you to say no. That's why." you remove his hands easily, pushing him away as you move to stand up. " You can't accept the idea of a simple no. Well let me tell you something, Jake. I'm not like the others girls that fall with your charm. Or your angry face. Or your puppy eyes"
Jake's angry face changes to an amused one. Raised eyebrow and smirk. You look at him for a moment, confused.
"Is that so?" he says, his voice sounding roughly and deep. "If you're so devoted to him, what are you doing here?" he asks, raising one hand to grab your hip and drag your body to his lap.
And you do.
Now, you were sitting peacefully in his lap like the good girl you were.
"Why would you be here if isn't because you want this as much as I want it? I want you to be mine" he was already kissing your neck as he continue talking.
Fuck, you really shouldn't.
But Jake touches you so gently, caressing your back until his fingers find the clasp of your brassier and release your boobs free under your shirt.
"And, honestly, I would miss your little cunt around my cock" you whimper with the statement, melting with his kisses and his caresses.
"It's not cheating if no one knows, right?" Jake laughs on your ear, kissing your cheek softly. You were repeating his words.
"No" he says.
His thumb pinches your nipple, while squeezing your other boob.
And, in a blink, you were riding his dick like your life depends on it. It was absolutely pornish the way your bodies together sound. How every jump make the sofa grind and how sweet Jake moans your name.
"You are so tight for me, baby. So wet, so perfect" he bites your neck and you whimper louder.
"Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck" you can barely speak, too concentrate in following the tickles in your belly. "Ah, ah~" you close your eyes at the feeling, too close. Just a bit longer and you'll cum.
Jake hold the grip on your thighs so hard that you can actually feel his fingers marking you. But you can also feel his teeth biting you and his tongue caressing your nipples.
"Jake! Jake, Jake I--" you shiver and open your eyes to reach for his gaze. His pretty blue eyes lost in the black iris of lust. "Ah, please. Please, please. I'm-- I-" you almost cry out your moans.
"Yes, baby. Cum for me, what are you waiting?" Jake sighs, roughly. Holding you tightly as your orgasm strike. "Oh, fuck. You're so good. You feel great, all warm and wet for me" he grabs your jaw gently, reaching for a kiss. His lips were soft, but somehow he makes the kiss nasty, biting your lower lip and allowing his tongue into your mouth.
It leaves you breathless. It was too much.
And so, his fingers goes down and touch slightly your clit. You squirm, your whole body feels electrified by his touch alone. He's very much hard inside you yet, so you make an effort to keep going.
"Jake" you call, tears already falling down on your cheeks. "Jake, you're so good. C'mon, cum with me" your voice is cracked, overwhelmed by the feeling.
You shut your eyes again when the second orgasm hit you, and you can also feel the warm seed of Jake filling you. You sob, hiding your face on the crock of his neck for a moment.
It feels good. It feels right. Like you belong there.
"I came inside" he says, voice deeply and fucked.
"Yeah, I can feel you" you keep your eyes closed while he caress your back gently. If you stay like that, you'll fall asleep.
"Let me clean you"
"No, just... just a moment" you can feel yourself already dripping, but he feels so good like that. His soft cock inside you like its the normal place to be.
"Petty" he says, mocking. He kiss your forehead, moving you softly to rest on the couch.
And you just stay there while he reaches for wet towels to clean you.
"Look, your dropping all of it on my couch" he's joking, of course. But yet, you put your fingers down and grab all the fluid you can before putting it inside you again.
You see his dick twitch with the scene.
"You're a menace, d'you know that?" he laughs, cleaning the rest of you, and himself.
"Am I?" you ask, looking at him with innocent eyes. He grabs his t-shirt from the floor and gives it to you.
"Let's go to bed, shall we?" his impossible smile back on his face.
You squint. "I should go home already"
Jake looks down at you, then at the clock above. "It's fucking three am. And you're full of me inside you, I'm not letting you go" he grabs you gently and carry you as a princess to his room.
"You really wanted to say that I was full of you, right?" you ask when he let you on bed. He glances at you, smiling.
"Yes"
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lenreli · 8 months
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sturridges · 8 months
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tom sturridge filmography
Jake in SWEETBITTER (2018-2019)
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tarotoftheendless · 1 month
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A while back, I made a post about Jake from Sweetbitter wearing just a sweater that Tom just actually owns. It seems like this sweater and then that white and red dotted button up have made many appearances. I think Tom is just asked to come to set or a photoshoot in his own clothes, it's adorable and I love it.
He does this in Irma Vep too, lolz 😂🤣
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pearlstiare · 1 year
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I have been thinking of writing about Jake for some time now ( thanks to the lovely @thepaintedlady00, her story inspired me to come back from my hiatus - and I recently learned that we are mutual ‎♡ ).
Some things like Therapist reader - strangers to friends to lovers.
The character of Sean Maguire ( Robin Williams )  in the movie Good Will Hunting inspires the reader.
The reader helps Jake navigate a healthy life without Simone, the toxicity in his environment, how it affects him on a personal level, and the control Simone has over him. Breaking unhealthy circles, connections, and boundaries. Learning, failing, loving, and trying along the way, not everything will be perfect but they will have each other.
If you are interested please, let me know and I will make it come true!
P.S. I have been reading Sweetbitter and also watching the show for more context on Jake's character. I will be very loyal to how he is and the way he projects himself.
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sylverfaeland · 8 months
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I really want to start writing a Jake x Original female character story. I have so much rage for Simone and no fic I've read puts her in her place.
I write really kind, sweet and sensitive female characters, who are also incredibly strong. And those sweet, kindhearted characters would absolutely destroy Simone. I'm already fantasizing about it.
I'm gonna write it.
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