#there are so many symptoms that are just the exact same thing but described in different ways and depending on the biases of whoever
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Thinking to myself “man it’s a good thing there nine mechanisms to project my disabilities onto, wouldn’t want people to think I’m headcanoning them to have an unrealistic amount of issues.” When it’s like, I have all these issues! And some people have way more comorbidities than me!
#the mechanisms#i don’t only hc my disabilties onto them#like the LM/MC. someone i am close with has that. not me#but still i project *mostly* issues i have or similar#like i definitely dont have ocd but i have enough similaries in symptoms and my anxiety has previously manifested with ocd tendencies#as well as anxiety driven delusions. that it makes sense to just. like. tick it up a bit more for the hc#obviously research is done re conditions i dont have#but also the words are easier that way#it *hard* to explain my symptoms that overlap and muddle with other disorders so it doesnt make sense to do so for a hc#not when im describing it for my own purposes and not typically if i were to be discussing it w#it with someone else#anyway its ivy. i think that makes sense#part of me also wants to headcanon her to be a hoarder#because i struggle with that#but i think shes a good archivist and those seem to be mutually exclusive#unless she is hoarding non library/archive things i suppose#this isn’t just about ocd this is about many many things#my body doesnt work right and it does so in ways people just Never Talk About….#the point is that if i headcanoned one character to have all the same exact problems i do it would seem excessive#when its not its just my life#and again other people have way more comorbidies than me!#fun fact: all your body shit is connected to all your other body shit
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the need to have "neurotypical" and "neurodivergent" be two completely different things with no grey area in between is a disservice to both groups. i would say every single person on this earth could qualify as neurodivergent if they bothered to go see a psychiatrist. its just that only certain ppl are going to be put in a situation where they cannot function and need a label to explain it bc society
#btw I am convinced that I am the only person who truly understands the field of psychiatry. or the lack of evidence to support one.#there are so many symptoms that are just the exact same thing but described in different ways and depending on the biases of whoever#diagnoses you You will end up with a completely different disorder!#there is no way to be objective about something as subjective as human experience#this is a vaguepost ab r/adhdwomen btw i love the group but also freshly diagnosed ppl be acting in ways.#being neurodivergent forces you to be more in touch with your own needs but every single person on this Earth would benefit from that#so please for the love of God teach the neurotypical people in your life to do that too#I also saw a post earlier about how shopping around 4 therapists should not exist because you don't shop around for surgeons or restaurants#and it made me so mad because you literally do shop around before therapists and for restaurants#and there are 1 million different subfields of therapy please for the love of God do not give up if CBT does not work for you.#if your therapist is so unskilled that they cannot help you because they cannot change the physical reality of your situation#then they are a bad therapist. they are bad at their job!#their job is not to make your situation better their job is to give u the ability to deal w the situation no matter how bad it is.#ryambles#my only sources are that i am mentally ill and have been in therapy since i was 14. but im right.#i meant to say for surgeons and restaurants but i was typing too fast. bc of the adhd. sorry.#i am reading all of this over and maybe it makes no sense but i dont care. read my post boy.
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Why do so many people like...have such an aversion to admitting they might have OCD? Like someone will be talking about OCD symptoms and people will be like "oh I do that but it's because of my autism!" or "oh yeah that's totally me except ADHD lol"
Like...guys I've got news for you.
ASD and ADHD do not cause obsessions or compulsions. They might cause symptoms that look similar (like dependence on routine in ASD or mental hyperactivity in ADHD), but aren't obsessions or compulsions like what's seen in OCD. If you see OCD people describing their inner thought processes and you relate, you can't chalk it up to ASD or ADHD. However ASD and ADHD are highly comorbid with OCD (about 30% for both autism and ADHD), so chances are you just also have OCD. But an autistic or ADHD person without comorbid OCD is not going to have obsessions or compulsions (again, they might have symptoms that resemble them from an outside perspective, but they aren't going to relate to OCD people describing their OCD).
The only other neurodivergencies that can cause obsessions and compulsions are Tourette's and sometimes personality disorders if we're being technical with our definitions (that could be a whole other post because it's complicated).
Like yes there's overlap between neurodivergencies, but they don't cause identical symptoms, and when you look at the internal processing they're easy to tell apart. If you have the exact same internal processing as someone with OCD, chances are you have OCD. There's probably something to be said about recent OCD demonization leading to this aversion, but that can be saved for another time.
Untreated OCD can be really deadly, you aren't going to be able to get better with OCD if you think it's just your autism or ADHD, that's why this is important.
Bottom line is: research whether certain symptoms appear in a disorder before attributing those things to that disorder to avoid misinfo. Because good God this shit has caused a lot of that.
#really wish people would research before saying things lmao#neurodivergent#neurodivergency#neurodiversity#ocd#obsessive compulsive disorder#actually ocd#intrusive thoughts#obsessions#compulsions#asd#autism#autism spectrum disorder#adhd#attention deficit hyperactivity disorder#important
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anyways it's 2023 and disability pride month.
The word "cripple" "crippling" and any other variations are for physical disabilities, not mental illnesses or other things like dysphoria.
Instead of "crippling anxiety" you can say "Debilitating anxiety" or "Disabling anxiety" ect.
It's not "Crippling dysphoria", it's "debilitating dysphoria".
To say something is crippling is to directly compare it to being physically disabled. And too many people in 2023, who proudly call themselves progressive, and leftists, and communists, refuse to listen to and actually respect physically disabled people in even the most bare minimum way.
No, you are not crippled by your depression, or your dysphoria, or your anxiety, or whatever it is, unless it's a physical disability.
And no, you cannot nitpick and pretend that "Well, actually, all neurodivergences are actually physical disabilities because they come from the brain, so they're the exact same thing!"
No they're not.
Physically disabled people are literally physically barred from society. Physically disabled people get left behind in buildings in fires and other emergencies.
Having social anxiety does not make it literally physically impossible for you to get in and out of your front door.
Having depression does not make it literally physically impossible for you to go up and down the stairs to get out of a burning building.
Having dysphoria does not literally physically make it impossible for you to go out literally anywhere in public.
If you think you have to compare your mental illness / whatever to being physically disabled for people to take it seriously, then you need to work on your own internalized ableism, and realize that equating, and this is a real example, having agoraphobia to being housebound due to the fact that you can't even get in or out of your house, let alone anywhere else, in a wheelchair...
you are just ableist.
Systemic inaccessibility literally physically prevents many disabled people from leaving their homes. T
here are real physical barriers stopping physically disabled people from existing in our society and no amount of therapy, medication, self-care, positive thinking, or whatever it is you do to help manage the symptoms of your mental illness, is going to make those physical barriers go away.
If you refuse to do the bare minimum of changing the language you use to be less ableist, then you will never be able to combat larger forms of ableism. Removing ableism from your vocabulary is step 0 to fighting systemic inequality.
Language shapes the way we view and interact with the world.
Mental illnesses are not crippling. Physical disabilities are crippling. And if you won't even do this basic thing to be less ableist then there's no way you will ever be able to fight other forms of ableism.
It's 2023. Remove "crippling" from your vocabulary unless you're using it to describe a physical disability or condition.
#ableism#disability pride month#disability month#cripplepunk#actuallyphysicallydisabled#actually physically disabled#cpunk#cripple punk
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Honestly, it's talked about a lot just how rigidly medical many anti-endo spaces are, but I don't think it's talked about nearly enough how pro-endo spaces often fall into the exact same rhetoric. In fact, I have seen many pro-endos who push for even more strict medicalization than anti-endos do with regards to CDDs.
I cannot count the amount of times I have seen a pro-endo system say "I cannot have DID because I did not experience this specific type of severe abuse" or "I cannot have DID because my trauma didn't happen before the age of 9" or "I cannot have DID because I can still function fairly well in my daily life".
By making statements about what kind of trauma needs to happen, or quoting rigid age ranges for DID, or drawing lines in the sand at how disabled you need to be in order for it to count as "disordered enough" to be DID, pro-endos very much frequently fall into the exact same arguing points as anti-endos in order to seperate themselves from DID even if they claim to be against and mock the strict medicalization of DID often seen in anti-endo circles.
Despite claiming all the time that the rules are not as rigid as anti-endos make them out to be, pro-endos still often view DID as something "other" and create similar strict rules and binaries surrounding DID. It's especially prominent in systems who call themselves OSDD, who view OSDD as "less bad DID" and so cling to the OSDD label when their symptoms actually align more with DID. The lines they draw between OSDD and DID very often just show a lack of understanding of what DID's diagnostic criteria actually describes based on their own misconceptions about what DID is, which tends to be very narrow and specific. (Not to say everyone with OSDD is actually DID, of course, but it is a much higher number than people are really comfortable talking about.)
A lot of the time, this is very heavily related to downplaying symptoms as well as misinformation about what DID is. However, when downplaying is related to trauma, it is also a massive issue that the pro-endo community largely does not know what trauma is, either. Similar strict binaries and rules that people make about DID are also applied to the concept of trauma as a whole; especially when trauma has been so discoursified and used as an arguing point to harm endogenic systems, many systems are not comfortable talking about trauma at all.
We see this not only as it relates to dissociative disorders (ex., "Emotional neglect isn't enough to cause DID, you have to have been physically or sexually abused and I wasn't so I cannot have DID") but also as it relates to origins, particularly with things like traumagenic vs. stressgenic. Many pro-endos have very extreme ideas about what counts as trauma, and so do not believe they are traumatized if whatever their idea of "severe abuse" is was not present. Many who were abused in less overt ways or who dealt with trauma that was not related to abuse (ex., chronic stress, major surgeries, or natural disasters) tend to believe they are endogenic and non-disordered because they do not fit the picture of "trauma survivor" they have stereotyped in their head.
A lot of systems also have very narrow ideas of what a trauma response looks like, and believe it only ever looks like classic PTSD symptoms. If they do not have PTSD symptoms such as flashbacks or nightmares, there is a tendency to say "I am not traumatized".
Pro-endo spaces absolutely need to become more comfortable discussing and sharing information on disorder and trauma, because the current lack of knowledge is depressing at best and a barrier to recovery for many systems at worst. I do feel that syscourse has definitely worsened a lot of the pro-endo community's avoidance of discussing trauma and dissociation and the push to seperate experiences into anything except "traumagenic DID", though I do also feel it's related to unchecked trauma responses and internalized ableism as well. There's a lot of nuance and complexities to be found there, and this isn't a problem that can be solved overnight, but I do believe it can get better.
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There's so Much Wrong With This r/systemscringe Wall of Text!
Okay, u/Pismatic-Salad, I'm going to need to break this up into pieces.
Just because the 4th criteria for DID in the DSM says that “the disturbance is not a normal part of a broadly accepted cultural or religious practice” does not mean “researchers accept non disordered systems”. A cultural practice is a voluntary action, and is equivalent to making up imaginary friends. That’s why in the exact same criteria it says “Note: In children, the symptoms are not better explained by imaginary playmates or other fantasy play”.
Not all cultural practices are inherently voluntary. And even if they being voluntarily, that doesn't mean they will continue to be. And that actually includes imaginary friends.
Studies have shown that while about a third of imaginary companions are fully compliant, most are reported to go against their hosts in some instances. And about a third are what are dubbed as noncompliant imagined companions.
This third group often engages in actual bullying behavior towards the host child.
Clearly, these ICs demonstrate a high degree of both autonomy and self-consciousness.
It is not an observable psychological or neurological phenomenon.
What is... "an observable psychological phenomenon"?
I mean, you can see it in their face or their reactions. But beyond that, what does this mean? Can you observe if someone has aphantasia? Synesthesia?
I would argue that psychological phenomena are largely observable through self-reports.
Maybe you're saying they aren't observable in the brain, but then why list psychological and neurological separate?
And even that would be false. Or at least unproven. To my knowledge, there haven't been any studies into ICs, endogenic systems or related spiritual phenomena to show their effects on the brain.
There is an fMRI study that's being conducted by Stanford, but the results have yet to be published.
These fakers define “system” as anybody with involuntary identity alteration.
No? At least not entirely.
A system requires a single body with multiple autonomous and conscious agents with their own first person perspective.
Identity alteration isn't necessary for one to be a system. The agents may simply manifest as voices without any alteration occurring. And it's possible for alterations to only be voluntary when they occur.
Many systems will discuss switching beforehand and headmates won't force themselves to front if the current fronter doesn't want them to.
The main thing is that all headmates have their own agency. They can exercise that agency in other ways beyond taking over the body.
Religious rituals and beliefs are voluntary, once a person leaves the religion, the belief is gone. It is not involuntary. I can choose to believe I only have one leg, and live my life as if I have one leg, that doesn’t mean I actually only have one leg.
No...
No you cannot choose to believe you only have one leg...
That's not how that works...
Quick, everyone, choose to believe your body has a single leg! Don't just pretend! Actually believe it 100% as surely as you believe you have eyes to read this!
For a subreddit that is so convinced that it's impossible to make yourself a system, I'm amazed at how this person thinks you can just casually will yourself to have such a powerful delusion. Because, to be clear, that's what they're describing. Believing you have only one leg when you clearly have two is a delusion.
(Although I suppose someone who already struggles with delusions and is suggestible enough might be able to force themselves to think this.)
Spiritual beliefs that may appear to be identity alteration are not actual identity alteration. They’re just beliefs.
Nowhere in the DSM or ICD does it say anything about “non-disordered systems”. You will not find a single quote mentioning those words anywhere.
Guys, it doesn't use the specific words "non-disordered systems" so it doesn't count. They got us! How can we ever recover!?🙄
Do you know what words the ICD does use though? "Distinct personality states."
This is the same word choice used to describe alters.
And the creators of the theory of structural dissociation have said these distinct personality states may be self-conscious parts of the personality:
As of right now, every psychologist or psychiatrist who has ever written on the subject of non-disordered systems have ranged from "maybe they exist and need to be researched more," as we see from the creator of the theory of structural dissociation to a firm "they exist" as we see in the World Health Organization's ICD-11.
As of right now, the hard anti-endo position that claims endogenic systems aren't real is just an inherently anti-science one, not supported by even a single academic paper anywhere, and based entirely on hate and bigotry.
#syscourse#pro endo#pro endogenic#psychiatry#psychology#sysblr#multiplicity#systems#systemscringe#r/systemscringe#actually plural#actually a system
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would it be an ASPD or BPD thing to only Feel Something in the deepest distress or near blind rage, otherwise it's just a fucking void of numbness? or emptiness? it's hard to tell. anyways, I'm very isolated because I just don't feel safe around or really like other people, so my impulsiveness is very self destruction driven. substance abuse and self harm of various kinds is both my entertainment and an attempt to fill that void for even a few minutes. I deal with a lot of other ASPD symptoms and all but I do get a bit concerned that I really do just have atypical BPD sometimes because of this particular thing.
Oh yeah, definitely. Idk about BPD, but for ASPD this is absolutely something that *many* pwASPD experience. That numbness/emptiness is very common and for some of us, fuels the desire to do impulsive/disruptive/destructive things - it makes us feel something. That feeling unsafe around other people and/or not liking being around people is also very typical of pwASPD, and self-destruction fulfills one or two of the criteria. Sh and substance abuse are flags for ASPD when combined with the other symptoms you described for pretty much the exact reason you survived.
BPD can cause some of the symptoms you talked about here, but I do think it’s worth noting that it is not uncommon to have multiple PDs including multiple cluster b PDs because they are often caused by similar/the same situations.
If you have the ability to, I would always recommend finding a well-educated professional to talk to because they would be far more experienced in what pw both ASPD and BPD act like, but I wouldn’t take it off the table just based on this ask and my non-professional opinion.
#aspd-culture-is#aspd culture is#aspd culture#actually aspd#aspd#aspd awareness#actually antisocial#antisocial personality disorder#aspd traits#anons welcome#tw drvg mention#tw sh mention
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Wait a second, I not completely understood how is theory about Fauxsefka being a pregnant a misogyny? It seems like a reasonable assumption to make if how she acts and drops a cord like Arianna? I not really understand something about your post too. Did something happen with Adella and Alfred in this fandom? I'm sorry if I made myself sound rude but in some places I am very confused about what you are talking about
I have my own biases in this because its generally a theory i heavily dislike, so take that as you will (aka there is not one true take on the game and no theory is "more right" than the others) but given the way you worded this as a question i'm also gonna talk about Why i think she isnt. First of all i heavily disagree with the notion she "acts pregnant" i dont know what to tell you about this one i really dont see it or understand it. What shes describing is very clearly the first stages of ascension (and/or death by insight. What she describes is exactly what the great one's wisdom item is). It seems to me that that theory comes from her describing it like nausea..? Which feel extremely flimsy as a basis, nausea is far from being the one defining symptom of pregnancy lol and since there is nothing else in her behavior i can think of it just feels like a stretch to me. Also most importantly, the cord you get isnt Hers. The description for it describes it as the cord of the eye, the one byrgenwirth stumbled upon and used to grant rom audience. The way i see it, we know fauxsefka is likely a choir member, and yurie whos currently stationed in byrgenwirth is for sure, fauxsefka very likely travelled to byrgenwirth to steal the cord to pursue her research and find her own means of ascension through it. Youre not taking it from anywhere inside her body, she was just possibly holding onto it and had just tried to use it. Also the other part of that theory that i can think of is the oedon rune but that literally doesnt mean anything. We already know arianna was the one chosen by oedon, and adella is branded by it the same way fauxsefka is, it doesnt mean she was "possibly impregnated" it just means she was under its influence and likely craving blood like adella was.
Anyway now to get into why i think that theory is bad, well, look at how many female characters in this game already have the end of their story be pregnancy with nothing more. Either they die or become mothers and it always ends there, that is the highest state they could ever reach. So giving Yet Another Character that exact storyline when she didnt even have it in the first place feels really bad to me. Especially when it's associated with ascension, i dont like the idea that ascension to a higher state means pregnancy. Can we let female characters be just that and not immediately equate them all to motherhood.
The adella and alfred thing is more of a "i cant stand fandom" thing than an ingame related thing, i get what you mean because its definitely been less prevalent lately and you kind of have to see it but essentially people will treat these two drastically differently when they are direct parallels. People will treat alfred like their perfect kind golden retriever and excuse his violent actions as "hes brainwashed by the church" (which is true dont get me wrong) (or they wont excuse him at all and in fact celebrate his extremely violent act against a female "antagonist") whereas people treat adella like shit and constantly refer to her in very misogynistic ways and demonize her for what she ends up doing (which is also out of church propaganda and literal great ones influence mind you) as well as only care about her as a character when she revolves around the player (oftentimes seen as a man). It just really bothers me is all
#long post again SORRY..#also dont worry you didnt sound rude at all#its stuff that i get upset about very easily so its very likely im the one ending up sounding rude or strict#i promise im not trying to be or trying to act like im right about everything#feelings about this just get the best of me sometimes
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How do you write gore? I am interested in this process.
alright okay so. this got long and i also mention some brief examples of gore in there. i hope its somewhat helpful?? or at all?? im not sure. im not great at giving advice im sorry
gore is something very precious and intimate to me. i feel like i approach it in a way people would approach a tender smut scene. because its the same to me. its being able to peel back someones little layers. to be inside them. to know them. to know them better than they know themselves, because honestly, when was the last time you took a peek at your own kidneys? yeah i thought so. gore too takes two or more people because whatever gore you can inflict on yourself is Nothing compared to the tender intimacy of someone else digging around in your stomach. its vulnerable. its beautiful.
as for literal descriptions, i always try to get very visceral with it, because i feel like it deserves detail and long drawn out paragraphs of description. there are so many sensations and sounds and sights and smells to describe. i cant write super detailed smut but i can write the exact way someone would reach inside someone else's ribcage and slide their fingers under the bone to caress their lungs. its just so much more comfortable to me. it feels like home.
i look at tons of images of specific elements of gore i want to write, real images, drawings, medical illustrations etc. when i can, i watch surgery videos on it. i want to know what it's like so i can write it as best as i can.
i like to relate it to my own life too. shout out to my 5th grade literature teacher who said "whenever i think about being burned at the stake, i like to imagine how much it hurts when i accidentally burn my hand on the clothing iron or stove. and thats just a moment, and a small surface." she was so real for that. breaking every bone in someones body? think back to that time u broke the tiniest bone in your wrist at age 11 and your entire arm went numb. putting needles in someones fingers? blood draws, or pricking yourself while sewing, but times ten or a hundred. and if you really cant relate it to yourself, read about it, read the symptoms, read the accunts of ppl who HAVE gone through it, try to really imagine it.
and dont forget about shock. shock is one of the best parts of gore to me. because you will probably go into shock when you see your severed arm (shout out to the medical instructor who taught us first aid on my drivers course).
idk. gore is something so precious and important to me. it just sucks me in, it feels like writing a long unhinged love letter as an obsessive lover. every time.
and that doesnt mean i condone gore or think its morally awesome to dismember someone. but you can write it that way from a whumper's perspective. but you can also write whumpers who dont really like it but have to do it for whatever reason. whumper pov is good if you dont want to try and explain how itd feel. some things i like to consider: is this the first time whumper does this? does it make them giddy with excitement? or is this the thousandth time and its just work to them? do they like what theyre doing? is it a means to an end or is it for fun? do they have any medical knowledge?
then of course you can write it from whumpee's perspective, which might be good for not going into anatomical detail. whumpee doesn't really see whats going on, most likely. and there's so much blood! it's their blood! theyre not thinking about anatomy, theyre thinking pain pain pain pain PAIN PAIN PAIN. some things i like to consider: has whumpee ever gone through something like this? is this the first time they're seriously hurt? is it the thousandth? and if it is the thousandth, how does it compare to the previous times? how is whumpee's pain tolerance? are they afraid of dying? do they have any medical knowledge, can they kinda gauge how bad the damage will be?
you can bring in a third observer, write it from their pov. itll be vastly different every time based on that character's own feelings towards gore, towards the two or more people involved, etc. there are so many ways to depict and explain what gore looks and feels like.
when i write gorey stuff, i like to just get it all out in a first draft, then go back and do some "realism checks" (this might not be smth you want at all and thats okay :) ). not medical accuracy or anything, but i like to go back and think okay, this character is getting their eyes plucked out, would they really be snarky during the process? maybe not! lets take that out. gore is smth that is usually rly far removed from your life/experiences, so it takes effort to write it in a way that feels authentic.
in any case, just have fun and remember fantasy gore hurts no one :)
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ok not to make big assumptions about you because we are strangers but i genuinely think your brain works a lot like mine, but i am the exact opposite of you i did terribly at school because i hated authority and mindless memorizing - hear me out - and got by on my intuitive understanding of stuff. But in the same way that you do i cannot understand anything that someone else tries to explain to me for the love of god i am the most unteachable person on earth. People have tried SO HARD teachers and tutors and everything but if i do not understand something myself there is not one person one earth smart enough to get me to do that. Im also really academically successful & ive gotten prizes for my creative essays, but i think the difference is that i hated *hated* authority so bad that the anger drove me to reject "mindless memorizing" as something even worth doing at all ever & only ever followed my curiosity & interests in things (the sense of excitement you described). It takes time but ultimately the degree of understanding obtained is much deeper & more satisfying than the kind generally demonstrated by people who understand what is explained to them in school settings. Im assuming a lot here & keep in mind that im just some rando but i would like to suggest that you try just following your inner curiosity & stop deffering to other people when it comes to how to understand something. Do not look for teachers, just information that you find exciting, & see the people who "get it" not as teachers who are superior to you but as your equals who just happen to have been doing it for longer. People you can talk to & who just have information you can glean. Most of all abandon conscious efforts to do school stuff. Resist impulses to be a good student & learn facts by heart or whatever. You'll remember things if they're important. Do what feels good and excites that inner curiosity you feel and don't think about grades or results or people's opinions but just the joy of understanding for your own pleasure. You can and will understand math and quantum physics if it feels good to do so, I promise you.
i really appreciate you and i have so many different reactions to this, i want to try them out. one thing that i believe really deeply is that teachers and similar authorities are very reliant on the idea that there is a correlation between following the rules, and maturity and intelligence, when the very opposite is obviously true. the reality is that kids who try things out for themselves, who determine for themselves through experience whether a rule is fair or rational or productive, and who are not afraid to be judged by others in the course of their experimentation--those kids are certainly demonstrating a lot of maturity and intelligence. i mean yes of course there are kids who don't do the work or follow the rules for less admirable reasons, but the idea that obedience and conformity are symptoms of a well-developed mind is just an oppressive myth that is especially convenient for people who work with children. and like of course i judge myself for not having those rebellious qualities like ever, but it's complicated, i was suicidally depressed as a small child and very afraid of being in trouble or disappointing people, and i honestly think that one of the reasons i got so good at memorizing things and generally operating by rote is that it turned out to be an excellent survival mechanism for navigating the world of adults.
i also believe in the direct correlation between pleasure and aptitude. i mean i'm sure there are exceptions, like you might get really great at a job you hate if your very survival depends on keeping the job or performing it safely, but in general i think you get good at what you enjoy, and that cultivating whatever forms of joy you experience can ultimately enhance your powers. but i don't believe that it necessarily WILL. i certainly know people who are bad at and/or not smart about things they love, they just don't let their shortcomings stop them from doing whatever the thing is (and therefore they lead richer lives even if they're not accomplishing anything in the traditional sense). i think i'm more in that category. all the stories i told happened to be about school probably because i'm hung up on JUDGMENT or not being competitively good at anything, but the unspoken reality is that i'm a pretty self-directed person. i tend to approach things that i care about hobbyistically, in order to pursue whatever thrill got me interested in the first place, and SOMEtimes this leads to some cool outcomes, though not always. there's a lot of different kinds of things that i love, conceptually, and i go through all the steps of learning about them, practicing them, researching them, getting advice from other people, or even having somebody else do the thing with me when all else fails, but i just cannot seem to develop any competence these things. i think i've had all the opportunity in the world to grow in different areas, but i'm just a very limited, low potential person.
anyway i hope this doesn't come off like i'm trying to convince You Personally of something, you've already been completely fair about how you're just speculating and speaking from what rationally seems like similar experiences. i do appreciate what you're trying to say here and i know that there is truth to it in general. i'm just now using this message as a prompt to work out some of the other things i think about this general topic. the one thing i guess i have going for me, although it's a double-edged sword, is that i don't quit at things. part of this is for a not-good reason, i came up in this environment where the law was that if you are perceived as "negative" or defeatist or something, then you're basically a bad person and you're not worth dealing with and any misfortune that happens to you is your own fault. and then it's like, if you fail or just don't excel at something, then THAT is a symptom of the aforementioned Bad Person problems. like in that world, if you don't succeed, it necessarily means that you didn't even try, which is a fake idea and the subject of one of my favorite social media posts of all time. but anyway, even with this bad motivation for soldiering on, i do sometimes enjoy the benefits of persistence, one of which is just the sustaining belief that maybe something good will happen later on. even though i think i've had enough negative experiences trying to do something with myself that it would be rational of me to just stop trying, the stubborn inner belief that "anything is possible" keeps me getting out of bed every morning. even if i'm not getting anywhere, at least that makes me a less burdensome person.
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Hi!
I've read your post on the science of ADHD and was wondering if you could help me? (Feel free to say no!)
I'm trying to find articles on that symptom where you're unable to do anything even when you want to. Tumblr seems to refer to it as Executive Dysfunction, but since that term is very broad I have been unable to find anything specifically on the above symptom. Do you have any tips? Do you have any idea whether it has a more defined "name"?
Again, don't feel any pressure to answer!
Kind regards,
Hello!
Well, I can try to help 😅
Ah, yes. I'm afraid that executive dysfunction is in fact the official scientific / medical term for this, and there isn't a more defined name for this – at least not an official medical or scientific one. But I see how that might be a bit frustrating when looking for resources to deal with a specific issue or situation.
Just to clarify, what kinds of "articles" are you looking for? Scientific articles, or popular media articles / lay literature?
What you could try to look for are specific presentations of ex. dys., specific ways in which it manifests; there are a number of lay terms that describe more specific aspects of it. For example some people talk about "decision paralysis", or "ADHD waiting mode" – obviously neither of those are official terms, but it may help you find more resources on them, especially in popular/non-scientific media.
If you're going for scientific literature itself (which I personally do recommend), consider looking for executive function instead. Executive function is a fundamental cognitive ability and plays a role in many many things, and thus has a lot of research to back it up. Try searching it in connection to ADHD, and that should lead you to some beginning at least.
Now, you say that you couldn't find anything for "that specific symptom" – a lot of the time, it is a matter of recognising how the same concept leads to different outcomes. So even if you don't find articles that describe your exact situation, the concept discussed in the article might still be helpful to understand your specific symptoms.
Furthermore, while it is true that this "inability to do the thing" is often based in executive dysfunction, there are also motivational aspects that have to be considered in ADHD. By motivational aspects I do not mean that you do not want to do the thing, or that you are not trying enough to do the thing. Rather, the motivational circuits in ADHD brains are different from those in neurotypical brains, which can thus lead to some difficulties.
I am guessing part of what you are looking for are ways to deal with this kind of issue. In my experience, understanding it helps to work around most symptoms to a certain degree already, so I do thing that learning about the mechanisms of it is beneficial in any case. Still, there are hacks that help with ADHD paralysis – I'll list a few and how they might help.
[All of these are based on urgency, novelty, or personal importance, which are generally the factors that determine how well ADHD vibes with a task or activity.]
The three second rule; sounds stupid, but try it out! If you're trying to start doing something that requires you to move (e.g. take a shower, make food, do the dishes – whatever) and you find yourself stuck on the couch/at your desk/in bed/on the floor, take a deep breath, count down from three, and when you reach 0 you have to move. It can be any movement, but since you're not giving your brain a lot of time to think, the easiest movement is usually to get up – which gets you started at the very least. Try to ride that momentum.
Pomodoros; time your tasks for mini-deadline pressure. Pick a thing to do, e.g. you want to draw because you like drawing, then set a timer to around 20-30 minutes (at least that's the norm, but hey you can also do 16 and a-half minutes!). Start the timer, and while it runs you focus only on the previously specified task. When it's done, take a break of 5-10 minutes (again, you do you), then the next timer starts.
I use this a lot for studying and writing, because it creates little focus windows that are easier to handle.
Increase or decrease stimulation; music, fidgets, anything that vibes for you. Maybe the hurdle is that you're simply over- or understimulated – play around with your activity-environment to see if it makes a difference!
Body doubling; personal favourite, simply hang out with your friends! The presence of another being/person often helps to stay on task, and it can be energising (at least to extraverts like me)
External incentives or accountability; aka threats and bribes 😏 my favourite variant of this is a concept I introduced on several of my Discord servers – Drabbles for Dopamine, where people literally bribe each other with little drabbles so they do the thing.
But this works with anything! Tell your friend that you want to be out of bed in 30 minutes and ask them to check in on you; the pressure of having someone else know often already is enough. If the "threat" of them checking is not enough, add a "bribe" to it, for example a picture of their pet – whatever is at hand and motivates you.
There is more of course, but those are the few that come to mind off the top of my head. Feel free to message me if you have questions about any of them.
Besides that, here are a few links that might be of interest:
Popular / non-scientific sources
(sorted by how useful I think they'll be for you)
What is executive function and why do we need it? – How to ADHD (video)
ADHD and Motivation – How to ADHD (video)
Motivation | How to ADHD (YT playlist)
Executive Dysfunction & ADHD - when you can't 'do the thing' (article)
What is executive function? (ADDitude mag article)
Scientific articles / research
(no particular order!)
Validity of the executive function theory of attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder: a meta-analytic review
Executive functions and adaptive functioning in young adult attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder
Are There Executive Dysfunction Subtypes Within ADHD?
Disturbance of the emotion and motivation in the adhd: a dopaminergic dysfunction
Executive dysfunction in attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder: cognitive and neuroimaging findings
#ask#ask answered#adhd#executive dysfunction#executive function#motivation#do the thing#research#non-scientific sources#attention deficit hyperactivity disorder
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intro post :3
hiii! im [insert name here]: a stereotypical AuDHD trans girl who still hasn't settled on a name yet-- my life isnt... going well rn, but tumblr makes it a bit more bearable and every little bit helps.
im a trans fem, more specifically i like the term demigirl- which feels like it fits me. im also ace(ish), by which i mean im ace but pretty sex favorable- just don't experience sexual attraction. im also very gay and have the best partner in the whole entire universe (they said they were gonna join tumblr soon- so ill at them here once she does.)
oh yeah and my brain is funky. im a peer reviewed (and officially dxed, but im an advocate of self diagnosis) AuDHDer- which informs basically everything i do. i also have a bunch of the mental illness stuff, and have struggled w it a lot. idrk or care what the exact diagnosis is, spend enough time around insane ppl and you learn a lot of the specific labels are pretty arbitrary and a lot of symptoms are shared- i just describe myself as fucked in the head or legitimately insane
also im never consistent w tags- sorry. maybe one day ill try to be but uh... yeah not today. i do tag for potentially triggering content tho- and try my best to be consistent w it, so if you're sensitive to the following and want to follow me for some weird reason id reccomend blocking them:
#cw sex mention, #cw: substance abuse, #cw: abuse #cw: child abuse, #cw: gore, #cw: sh, #cw: si, #cw: disordered eating, #cw: bigotry, #cw: disturbing content,
id also say in accordance w the previous thing i sometimes say things about my life that are "dark" in a way that can cross a line, i don't mean to do this- and i want to respect everyone's boundaries- but accidentally sharing super dark shit is smth i struggle w.
im a committed anarchist, and i will unabashedly post in accordance w those views. i haven't been able to help people as much as id like to bc of the whole being a minor in a fucked up situation with no money energy or time thing, but im trying to do more. If anyone reading this has suggestions- lmk.
i also like a lot of shit. like A LOT of shit- and i get REALLY obsessed w it too, so it is not out of character for me to start posting a bunch about smth i had not known existed until i got obsessed (as mentioned, AuDHDer). what ill post about is just kinda based on what im feeling that day and my interests, but heres some of my favorite things that im enamored w in no particular order:
games:
mtg
minecraft
hermitcraft (which yes is minecraft and no isnt a game but shut up)
hollow knight / skilkskong 🤡
celeste
metroid
nitw
botw
hades
books
cosmere
the locked tomb
percy jackson
the sandman
six of crows
the hunger games
lotr
spec fic, especially non-traditional spec-fic
shows/movies
spiderman across the spiderverse
made in abyss
hazbin hotel
hunter x hunter
the owl house
Pan's Labyrinth (& other Guillermo movies)
miyazaki movies
wes anderson movies
animated movies & shows
cinematic/classic movies (not neccessarily old just like the literary fiction genre of movies)
weird/offbeat movies and shows
music
coheed and cambria
mcr
jhariah
girl in red
will wood
pinkshift
jack off jill
paramore
mother mother
the cure
chloe moriando
bauhaus
cardiacs
dead kennedys
lena raine
siouxsie & the banshees
milk in the microwave
mitski
penelope scott
sungazer
45 grave
other interests/hobbies n shit
drawing
d&d
writing
painting
guitar
bass
drums
singing
music production
game design
coding
animation
character design
video production
poetry
theater (yes im a fucking theater kid did you even have to ask that)
musicals
even though im solidly gen z, i havent really grown up on the internet the same way. some weird combination of my parents' disapproval of it, social anxiety, autism, and not being allowed to use it for years means that ive had this fear of posting stuff on the internet. for so many people like me the internet has been a place to escape and be themself, to me it's more often than not just a reflection of a reality that seems just as scary and ostracizing.
the thing is... i dont have a lot of friends. i dont have a large community really. and i think though there are some ways in which my aversion to social interactions including those on the internet has been helpful, there are other ways it's really isolated me- both from my peers and a broader community of people.
so im trying to put myself out there a little more. this stupidly long intro post is i think just a way for me to commit to that for myself. ive been so scared of doing it all my life, right now i think i just need some sort of outlet to be myself. who knows? maybe i'll even meet some new friends.
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I’d really like to work the height and weight of my cast out, because the story I’m writing is about quite a physically diverse little group, and it would be really fun and cool to work out the little differences in the ways they all interact with the world (for instance, in a kitchen how many of them can’t reach the top shelf, how many shelves is the shortest off by, does the tallest have to worry about the doorframe?) Plus every character sheet has height and weight to fill in for some reason, and it would be really satisfying to complete a full one for once.
People keep talking about BMI charts, but I’m either too stupid to be able to use it properly, or it’s only helpful if a character has an average build. Some of my characters have a lot of muscle, some of them are fat, some have a fair amount of both and others have neither. One of the cast’s a teenaged late bloomer, and another stopped growing when she was 15 due to malnourishment but’s a healthy weight now as an adult. I’m not sure how helpful this information is to you, but I thought it might help you to understand where I need advice.
Anyway, do you have any tips or advice or tips for working out my characters height and weight?
I like that you're looking to make diverse body types!
So some reasons people might want to know the height and weight of their characters-
to accurately describe physical interactions like hugs between different heights.
for comedic purposes like you described
romantic shipping purposes, depending on if you prefer the big height difference trope or the no-height difference trope (the latter for me personally).
to determine if an action is physically possible for a character. Can they jump this far or climb that fast or throw someone off balance if they rammed into them like a football player.
For height, I like to think about my friend's heights relative to me and each other. I also think back to any short jokes or tall jokes I remember being made that landed well.
You can also look up average heights for different races and different countries and let that guide you. No group is a monolith so lots of people fall outside of 'average' but it does help to consider.
I wouldn't worry about exact weights if I were you. The weight number is so subjective to height and muscle to fat ratio. I'm also personally of the belief that BMI is useless, and 'obese' is a term made up by the diet industry to perpetually generate profit.
Also just because a character is fat, doesn't mean they can't be incredible athletes. There are fat ballerinas, gymnasts, and weight lifters who are incredible at the their sport.
(also for anyone made uncomfortable by my word choice- fat isn't an insult if you view fatness as a positive and/or neutral thing. It's something that just is and weight makes no impact on someone's worth.)
I love body diversity. Beyond height, weight, and athletic ability, may I suggest considering characters with
mobility aids
general joint pain or pain specific to an old injury
hypermobility
scarring
patches of different colored skin.
Did you know Vitiligo isn't the only condition that causes skin to change its pigment? Addison's Disease is a serious chronic illness with a trademark symptom of skin pigmentation increasing in hot spots like the face and joints the same way Vitiligo does. Skin grafts also look red and inflamed during the healing process
I hope this helps
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I managed to stubble upon your blog and was going through it. You and I seem to hold a lot of similar viewpoints on LGBT+ stuff, but I was wondering your specific thoughts on both the Pansexual/Asexual Label. (As in do you believe in nuanced grey areas in Asexuality, for example like Demisexual as a label. Where there's no sexual attraction without a prior romantic relationship. And with the Pansexual label, which is one I prefer to use as an umbrella term under Bisexual mostly because I find it fits my own personal experiences better than the term Bisexuality does.)
I'm also curious about your thoughts on transgender people who don't experience gender dysphoria, but rather only experience gender euphoria when they transition. Mostly I'm curious if you consider yourself a transmedalist? And if so your thoughts on nonbinary individuals?
Here's a link to my FAQ with all those exact questions answered.
But as a quick (not so quick lol) summary:
-Demi isn't a sexuality. It's a description of how you experience attraction and your boundaries within a relationship. It's actually really normal to need time before you start feeling attraction to someone or ready to date, kiss, etc etc. If you really need a term to explain HOW you experience your attraction, don't act like it's a stand alone sexuality.
-the split attraction model has lots of problems. There's links in my FAQ. It's too many to list here. I don't like it.
-asexuality just means you aren't attracted to anyone. It's not good for labels to overlap as it leads to confusing and they start invalidating each other. Same train of thought for pansexual. It's invalidating and by most of it's definitions pretty shitty.
-bisexuality means you're attracted to everyone. That's it. Every definition of pansexual either treats trans people as a third gender, acts like gay, lesbian, and straight people only care about the act of sex, is literally just the definition of bisexual, or is just describing how they experience their attraction versus what the attraction actually is. More on that in the FAQ.
-gender euphoria is a symptom of general dysphoria. Many trans people first experience general euphoria because they are unaware of their dysphoria. If you've never worn glasses you might assume everyone has a hard time seeing details in trees and bricks. It's a normal experience. You don't know any other way of feeling or viewing the world. But once you have glasses you find a whole new world. When you experience euphoria it's like discovering a new side of yourself. It's like putting on glasses. You've always had bad vision, you just didn't realize it till you had glasses. You've always had gender dysphoria, you just didn't realize it until you experience a more obvious symptom such as euphoria. My dysphoria never specifically made me super depressed or suicidal (paired with other shit I had going on maybe. But not it alone). It's not some big bad thing to make you hate yourself. It's just the symptom of having the wrong gender. And how you experience it will be different for everyone.
-I do believe you need general dysphoria to be trans. You don't necessarily need to transition or come out as that's a personal choice that only the individual can make.
-i really desperately WANT to get along with the idea of nonbinary. But every single definition of it is always so sexist or transphobic it's really hard. I love the idea, but not the execution. More on that in the FAQ.
-as for your other ask, I don't care what you do. If you block me or respond is all up to you. I don't stop anyone from interacting unless their being obviously hateful or threatening in some way. I can't stop anyone from interacting anyways. Plus who knows, I might just chance someone else's mind (or they might mine). Either way, hope that helps. No hard feelings on what ever you decide. Good luck 🤞
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Does it ever bug you how much you can never truly explain to someone what it's like to live with X?
Like, the obvious ones are like depression and anxiety and neurodivergencies. We can make all the book and plays and tiktoks we want explaining them, but it will never encapsulate how constant and destructive they are. For those people, it's a moment in their lives, and hopefully it will stick with them and they'll think of it when they see someone struggling, but it's still not the same.
I just had a 10-hour migraine that was one of the worst experiences of my life. I consider my pain tolerance high but this was 11/10. I'm waiting for the complete zap of energy that follows. Tomorrow, I wake up and go teach two 3-hour summer camps, the second of which has 20 students. And I wonder just how many people can't see a migraine as anything more than 'just a bad headache'. I don't want to describe my symptoms bc I don't feel clear-headed enough to tag them properly, but people will know what I'm talking about. I had very important things (like food stamps things) I needed to get done today that I now have to pay catchup on tomorrow, after teaching in the heat. My migraines don't hold a candle to my dad's, who has been used in studies for new migraine treatments bc his were so constant and bad, and even i can't fathom living with that.
Bur to some people, they're just headaches.
And I'm positive I pull the exact same thing on plenty of people. Can I imagine what it's like to have DID, or need to monitor my insulin constantly? No. And I've always been 'white' in a place where my particular religion was accepted. I can be sympathetic, and read and reblog and support everything I can regarding disabilities, illnesses, and oppression other people face every day.
No matter which side of that mirror I'm on, I hate it.
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Not sure if you’ve answered this/talked about this before, but would you say that the whole “must have severe trauma before age 9 to have DID/OSDD/etc” treated as law by some of the community is as rigid of a criteria as the textbooks say? Is it possible to form alters later in life?
Honestly, despite people making it out to be an issue of the phrasing of textbooks, out of all of the books on trauma and dissociation that I have read, none have ever actually been as rigid as the plural community's own standards are. The textbooks which people are so quick to disregard as rigid are infinitely more nuanced than syscoursers make them out to be if people would just read them.
They use terminology like "such as", "usually", "almost always", but rarely ever use words like "never" or "always". I like the way textbooks approach the subject far more than the average syscourser does.
On the age range, it's a lot more complex than a strict cut-off number could ever really describe. For ages researchers have debated on what that number should be, I've seen as low as 6 and as high as 14. It gets messy when we consider factors such as delayed brain development, as well as onset of symptoms that can be tied directly to DID and amnesia (symptoms may be attributed to a wide variety of other things instead of DID, which makes it difficult to say definitively, "yes this is a 100% sign of DID at such-and-such age"). How can we tell when exactly an alter really formed, when many stay hidden until much later or are commonly known to not exactly be distinct until well into adolescence or adulthood?
I think that when people think of alter formation, there is a tendency to believe that they split off immediately with a full personality and fleshed out details or that you will notice them there, which isn't really the typical picture of DID. It's more common for alters to start off as just different emotional or functional states without their own identity, and may not have a seperate voice or super seperated memories or behaviors until later down the line. It's more common for alters, especially in childhood, to be more fluid and gradually become more dissociated and seperated over time. This can make it seem like alters are "forming" for the first time in the teen years or in adulthood, when actually they split off much earlier but just weren't all that developed or elaborate.
Being a covert disorder, even if signs of DID and alters are present at younger ages, people don't often really notice them or they explain them away with other things (such as ADHD or an overactive imagination).
Personally, I prefer it when people avoid using rigid language in discussions where the subject is more complex than that - It's accurate to say, for example, "DID comes from severe childhood trauma, usually from under the age of 9", because that's the picture most people with DID will fall into from what we know from decades of DID research. However, to say "The trauma must always be from before the age of 9" seems a bit silly when many professionals still debate on what the exact number is and we state it as if we know this as the absolute truth and like every human being develops at the exact same rate. If someone does not believe they fit this picture, also, they may say "Well, then I cannot have DID" and avoid looking into recovery and treatment, which isn't very helpful to anybody.
When "alters forming later in life" is very much tied to subjective experiences and how each individual system defines "forming", as well, I think it's a bit odd to debate about. People get too fixated on numbers and rules, in my opinion.
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