#the way some people spoke to me towards the end of it really made me step back like 'wow these are the people i write for?' | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

obae-me · 4 months

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The Reunion We Deserved

I said I would do it and so I did, all in one night, one sitting, fueled by nothing but determination, random inspiration, and spite. I re-wrote and created my version of what I would've liked to see at the end of Nightbringer Season 2. Is this a bit dramatic? Yes? Is this the kind of thing I wanted anyway? Yes. I want sobbing, I want people being pathetic, I want emotion, I want it all. So, if that's what you were hoping to see for lesson 40, I hope this can ease some of that anger we had.

Spoilers ahead for Nightbringer since this is quite literally my "remaking" of the ending, which includes in-game references to later lessons!

TW: Blood mention, injury, angst.

Word Count: 4,391

Tears pricked your eyes as you looked upon the several smiling faces of the demons you had come to care for. At the beginning, all you could think of was returning to your home, your time-line, your brothers. You had coped thus far by constantly reminding yourself that these were not the same people you had come to know. But now… after delving into their souls, reforging the pacts, fleeing down the different circles of hell to save one only to nearly lose them all… they’d found their way into your heart once more. How could you? How could you leave them so easily? And tell them to their faces that you’d meet again soon when you knew it was a lie. It might be soon for you, but it would be nearly an eternity for them. Not to mention that the way Solomon and Barbatos described it, this was almost like another universe… Would another version of you show up for them? Or would you leave these particular brothers for good?…

Feet frozen in sorrow and anxiousness, you could only look at them and cry. What were you feeling in this very second, now that you were on the cusp of what you had worked so hard for? The way back home was right above you, the air and magic inches away from sucking you up into it’s mystical vacuum. Your precious family, your home was one step away. So why did it also feel like your heart was being torn from you? “I—“ Your words choked up in your throat. You were tempted to tell them everything right there and then, spill the burden you had been carrying on your shoulder this entire time.

“It’ll be alright,” Lucifer spoke up, seeing your worry, but exuding nothing but confidence himself. “I gave you my blessing after all.”

“Plus, with the Great Mammon’s pact, you’re hella lucky! You’ll get home with no problems, I’d bet on it! S-So you better not make me lose, got it? Get home safe…and happy.”

Levi shook his head a little. “You’d bet on anything wouldn’t you…” But then he turned his head back towards you, nearly just as bold as Lucifer in this one moment. “If someone like me can have courage, you can too. Don’t worry! You’re just like a Main Character! You have indestructible plot armor!”

“Did everyone already forget the white dragon I helped summon?” Satan scoffed. “Their safety and success is guaranteed. So don’t give us that face,” he addressed you.

“Besides!” Asmo perked up. “If anything happened we’d all come rushing to save you! Just like we did for Lucifer. If we can do that, we can do anything! Oo, I just said something real dashing just now! You better take that to heart, hun!”

Beel nodded several times. “You have Luke’s wish egg too. I also made wishes over my eggs at breakfast this morning. I wished for you to always feel healthy and full and loved. And that we’d get to see each other again soon.”

“Those eggs might’ve tasted magical Beel, but they weren’t really…” Belphie looked up his twin as he shook his head, but then he shrugged, coming to the conclusion that it wasn’t worth explaining. “Hey,” he stared at you. “Don’t waste your energy crying now. You’ll need all your strength for your journey. I won’t forgive you if you leave too sad.”

All their words ended up making you laugh, the smile across your face twitching as you worked to force out trembling words. “You all better be kind to one another.” Someone behind you was tugging on your arm. “And make sure you don’t tease Luke too hard.”

“Come on,” Solomon whispered softly to you, tugging you a little harder, making you take a few steps back. The rift in space-time started to roar, attempting to drown out your voice as you struggled for these last few seconds.

“And make sure you all remember to eat and sleep properly. A-and, tell the others at the ceremony that I love them. I… love you all so much.”

“We have to go…” Solomon’s voice sounded tense, like he was nearly ready to cry himself, only keeping himself strong for you. Wrapping an arm around your waist, he nearly hoisted you back himself. Before you left, you reached into the pocket of your pants, fishing out the letter that you had written alone in your old room, what seemed like forever ago now, the one still stained with old tears. You tossed it to the ground in front of you, hoping they would read it, hoping it would help…them live without you.

The last thing you heard was a chorus of cracking voices, getting cut off before they could tell you they loved you too…

And then you were gone. A harsh and forceful wind seemed to suck all the air from your breath. It was almost as if you were being plunged underwater, several forces of pressure from the thousands of years you were swirling past was threatening to crush you. The only sensation you were aware of was Solomon’s. His arms were holding onto you tightly, continuing to mutter spells over and over and over again to keep you safe, expending all of his waining power to push you both through the folds of reality and out on the other side.

Gravity. Disorientation. Falling. A heavy weight slammed against your chest so hard, you wondered if your ribs cracked. The back of your head hit something firm. Everything went black for a while.

After who knows how long, your eyes opened again, staring straight up into the Devildom sky, the shifted stars more familiar to you. Your head was splitting with pain, your breath a wheeze as you glanced down to see Solomon’s limp body keeping you pinned against the ground.

“S-Solomon?” It took a short while for the panic to settle in. “Solomon!” After a moment of struggling, you managed to get him off of you, setting him on his back in the grassy plane you had been spat back out onto. His face looked drained. A chant left the base of your throat, using the last scrap of magic you had to give him a spell to reinvigorate his body. His eyes shot open, coughing as he rolled over onto his side, pushing himself up onto his arms before he fell down again. “Take it easy!” Together, using each other as support, you both got back up to your feet.

“I’m sorry…I had meant to deliver us right in front of the House of Lamentation, but…”

“You did alright,” you assured him, rubbing his back to keep his dizzy mind conscious. “A bit of a rough landing, but we’re alive…” But then, the better question was… “Are we—“

“There you are.” A calm voice manifested itself as a demon in front of you. Barbatos stepped out of a portal, his expression nearly as neutral as ever, except there was something in his eyes that was shining, a strange tremor to his hand that was completely unnatural for someone as him. Then he frowned as he took in the state of both of you, his nostrils flaring as he took the both of you with him, each with one gloved hand. You were pulled into a much less chaotic rift this time. Although the jolt was still enough to nearly cause both you and the sorcerer to fall back to your knees. Before that could happen though, you were shoved into a bed.

The guest rooms of the castle appeared the same as always, but something in particular felt nostalgic, like you’d just returned to a childhood home. Solomon appeared to be ushered into a bed right by your side, both your minds too rattled to resist, as the butler threw open the guest room door from the inside and summoned nearly every Little D in the entire building. “I need human medication, bandages, two sets of pajamas, the herbal tea I set aside in the kitchen. I need the oven preheated, the counter prepared, two trays set, and need them all done within the next two minutes.” There was a very subtle raise to his voice, the seriousness of his tone sending a chill down your spine and sending every Little D scattering for their lives. Barbatos spent one second observing them flee before he dissipated once more, getting wisked away through another portal of his own making.

This all felt…so surreal. Perhaps it was the pain that you were in that was making it feel like a dream. Like you’d wake up in Cocytus Hall and be right back at square one. And yet, something in you was missing that place… that house that you had just started to get used to. The furniture and things both you and Solomon had bought to make it your shared home. But your real home was here. Well, hopefully here.

You wouldn’t get your hopes up over anything yet. Not until you got to see them.

Barbatos returned before you could even begin to ask Solomon about any of this. A whirl of varying shades of green caused your vision to do somersaults as you were quickly fretted over. Salves and bandages were wrapped around your torso and a damp cloth gently touched the back of your head. That splitting pain resurfaced, joining forces with an added stinging. Maybe it was your body going into shock, but you could’ve sworn you heard a shaky shush coming from your current caretaker as you were cleaned and patched up quickly. Luckily, it wasn’t too much longer after that till the aches went mostly away, your head clearing up again as a set of your own pajamas were settled at the foot of the bed, a silver tray stretched over your lap and propped up on two stands. A small plate with a single pastry sat in front of you, along with a bitter smelling dark-green tea that you could tell you’d rather avoid imbibing.

Swiveling your head to the side, you saw Solomon leaning back against the headrest and a few pillows, a bit more vibrancy in his eyes, although those intense dark circles were hard to miss. He was okay. Thank…everything.

“Eat. Drink. Both of you.” The butler stood between the beds, realizing he’d spoken quite against his normal demeanor, he cleared his throat, his palm pressed between his collarbones. “Phoenix’s Breath Tea. You’ll both need it to recover. I apologize for making you both consume something so distasteful, but I’ve found it goes down a bit smoother paired with something sweet.”

A single whiff of the hot beverage in your hand was enough to make you cough, some sense burning in your nose. You settled the cup back down, taking a deep breath, trying to get your head on straight. “Barbatos… Are we…?”

The butler’s eyelids fluttered slowly. “You are,” he stated, his voice quiet, almost in awe. “You’re home. Back in the world you belong.”

A lump immediately formed in your throat, pushing the tray forward and turning to get out of bed. “I need to go. I need to see them, I—“ Before you could get one foot touching the ground, you were wrangled back into bed.

“I’ll fetch them. I swear you won’t have to wait too much longer. But you must drink the tea and you must take a moment to recover. If the others were to know the state you both were in right now, the castle would be torn—“

A banging sound ripped through the room like a gunshot. The guest room door was busted completely off it’s hinges, the wood of the frame splintering, the door soaring across to the left and fully embedding itself into the wall like a dart stuck in a board. If it weren’t for Barbatos’ inhuman skills, you’ve spilled the tea and dessert all over yourself. The royal attendant audibly sighed, sweeping himself to his feet and holding his arms out, his demon form manifesting, wrestling back a writhing and screaming black mass.

Your eyes went wide.

The mass stopped fighting, going rigid, stepping back to form seven different individuals. Three more non-hostile forms stood back in the wrecked doorway, two white, one red.

The bottom of your lip trembled as an overwhelming surge of joy and despair and relief and guilt all flooded out of you in tears. Your fears were pushed away. Your soul seemed to click back into place, like you’d been the last puzzle piece just waiting to finish the picture. “I’m home…”

Chaos erupted in the castle guest room. A few cracking wails nearly burst your eardrums. Asmo’s arms were the first to wrap around you, mascara running down his cheeks in large inky trails, but he didn’t seemed concerned in the least. Kisses lined your face with each sharp intake of breath, too shaken to even speak, he could only address you in his cries as he clutched onto you, trembling. His hand stroked your head, his breathing stopping for a moment when he saw the damage the landing had caused. This only caused him to whimper and cry harder, his thumb running over the outline of your features, running the back of his fingernails over your cheeks.

Levi was stuttering incomprehensibly. As he fell to his knees, he clutched at his head, going through an entire panic attack. He clawed at his chest, tearing gashes into the front of his clothes, looking up at you behind large welling tears as his tail wrapped around his entire torso. Mist filled the entire room as he continued to shake and cry so fervently he couldn’t even stand.

Luke was quite a ways away, holding onto Simeon’s clothing as he screeched out painful genuine child-like cries. The Angel curled over him, shushing him, getting to his own knees to hold the fledgling to his chest, assuring both the little angel and himself that you were okay. You were alright. Miracles had brought you together again. They didn’t have to worry any longer. The sleepless nights, the endless nightmares, the never-ending cold grip of sorrow could go away. He spoke this mantra- this prayer- over and over again, taking deep breaths between the words, blinking rapidly as he had to sway him and his charge back and forth to keep themselves both at ease. The older angel took the occasional glance over Luke’s shoulder, muttering a thankful blessing on repeat every-time he locked with your eyes.

Satan was thrashing around the room, screaming wildly, out of control, ready to beat Barbatos and Solomon for making you arrive in this condition, for not bringing you sooner, for not telling them sooner, for— Eventually, after getting thrown around the room a little, he ran out of things to be angry for. All it took was one look at your face to calm him down. He approached carefully, angry at himself, angry at whoever it was that took you away, but trying to keep himself together. Satan gingerly pulled Asmo off of you, turning Lust over to Solomon. Clearly, he’d been worried about his other pact-mate, hugging the sorcerer and crying a little more softly into his shoulder. Meanwhile, Satan reached a hand out hesitantly, like you were a feral cat he was trying to pet, worried you’d run away. His hand brushed through your hair and settled at the side of your face. Once he realized you weren’t going anywhere, his arms pulled you to him, pressing your face against his shoulder. “You’re here. You’re here again. You’re—“ His voice went hoarse, like he was losing it, like he’d been doing nothing but screaming for the entirely of your absence. Soon his words were nothing but faded squeaks, trying to portray his words but unable to. He simply held you instead. Then he tore himself away from you, heading over to the back wall and punching holes into the structure till his knuckles turned bloody.

Someone crawled onto the bed. Belphegor peered at you with an almost blank expression. His hand reached out, touching your knee, flinching as soon as he made contact, like the very act of him doing so would hurt you further. You could tell that maybe he felt like some of this was his fault, like he’d deserved the pain of having you be sent away from him, like if he did anything wrong again, you’d vanish for real this time, How many times could you come back from the dead? How close was he to losing you entirely? For good? As soon as his warmth mixed with yours, he collapsed on the mattress, curling up at your feet. He gathered the blanket towards his face, the end of his tail twitching erratically. His sobs were silent but violent, the entire bed shifting and bouncing as his body convulsed, his chest pounding as he broke down. Every once and a while, he would become extremely frightened, needing to gasp and look up to ensure you were real. You weren’t a dream. He pinched himself, shook his head, even almost bit at his hands to snap him out of this vision. But you were really here. He would curl back up and continue to cry.

White hair bobbed in front of your vision, two hands going to your shoulders and shaking you, pinning you against the headboard, fingernails careful not to dig themselves into your skin as they gripped your body. “What the hell is wrong with you?! Huh? Huh?! Do you have any idea what you put us through?! What you put me through?!” Mammon growls and screams shocked you.

“Mammon.” Lucifer’s voice settled as a stern warning, but something about it seemed weaker than usual.

Greed ignored him, continuing his rant. “You were just gone. Gone! You know that?!” He shook you again, careful not to rattle you too much. “And what am I supposed to do about that, huh?! What did I say?! I said—“ His voice cracked, trails of moisture streaming from his eyes and over his lips. “I said,” he repeated, “if you’re ever in trouble, you have to let me save you. What part of that didn’t you understand?! How dare you get taken somewhere where I can’t reach you?! How dare you?! How dare you?!” His voice continued to raise in pitch, sounding more and more unstable with each accusing question. Then he slumped, his forehead pressing against your chest as his hands held onto your shoulders tighter, almost bruising them, fearful of letting you go. He began shaking you a few times more, each shake meeker than the last. “How dare you. How dare you… How… W- What was I supposed to do if you didn’t come back?… The world is nothin’… I’m nothin’…”

Beel came over and helped his older brother to his feet, allowing him to sit on the side of your bed as Mammon furiously used the back of his wrist to rub at his cheeks. Gluttony stood over you, looking down with a wide close-lipped smile. “Welcome back.” He leaned down, pressing his cheek against yours as his large arms wrapped around the back of your neck. He took in the scent of you, burying his face into the crook of your neck for a moment. His body didn’t shutter, didn’t make noise, but you felt a few warm tears of his drip onto your skin. He silently and secretly teared up for just a few moments before he stood back up straight, gesturing to the tray with your items on it. “Eat, please. It’ll make you feel better.” The sixth-born took a few steps back to let you breathe, and as he moved back, someone else moved forward.

Lucifer stood at your bedside for quite some time in silence, looking down on you with a rather unreadable expression. He had a frown, eyes squinting like he was upset at you. He scanned you over, his brows furrowing, his jaw clenching. He refused to move, refused to say anything, refused to look you directly in the eyes. You moved forward a little, grabbing his hand, holding it in yours. All the sudden, the tension released. His eyes widened before his eyelids lowered, glancing at you past the vulnerable shimmer past his irises. Wrinkles of stress deepened in his forehead as his whole face contorted in agony. He held your hand tightly, bringing the back of it up to his lips. After that, he pulled you against him, his forehead pressed up against yours, his wings in his demon form acting as some sort of visual blocker, as if he couldn’t stand to have the rest of the room see how he was acting right now. He rubbed his face against yours back and forth, one small touch away from cooing, his hands caressing the sides of your neck, feeling your pulse, hearing your breath, taking in every detail and confirming to himself that you were indeed in his arms again, alive and mostly well. “You’ve come back to us,” he whispered, the end of his nose touching yours as one of his hands cradled the back of your neck. “Back to me.” His breath was hot as he panted for a moment, taking a deep breath and speaking in a hushed tone. “I had nearly begun to entertain the thought that…”

You pulled him closer to you, letting his head rest on your chest as you reached around to his back, grasping the cloth of his clothes in your hands. “You know I would fight through all the layers of hell to get to you.”

That seemed to resonate with him, but you weren’t quite sure he remembered that you were speaking quite literally. All those adventures…the things you’d all learned. How lost were they?…

However, Lucifer simply smiled, laughing a little, squeezing you before laughing again. “Yes, if anyone would do such a thing, it would be you. I shouldn’t have doubted you.” He straighted, fixed his clothing, lowered his wings, and moved further back into the room, rubbing his eyes with his thumb and forefinger as he paced towards a back corner.

Levi had finally soothed himself enough to move, walking on his knees towards the bed. His hands were fidgeting with every part of his outfit. Eyes puffy from crying, throat raw from his collapse earlier, he kept himself from speaking. You managed to smile down at him and wipe away the last few of his tears. His lips shook again before he lowered his head into your lap. Face-down in the fabric of the blanket, he kept shaking his head. He didn’t stop until your fingers ran through his hair. With a forced gulp, he eventually vocalized words. “I missed you… I was- was- was so scared I would…”

“Lose you.” Belphie sat up in bed, ignoring the fact that his face was now a mess. He scooted closer towards your side on the bed. “We thought we lost you.”

The youngest was able to say what none of the others could. Full silence washed over the room as the reality of the situation fully seemed to hit them, their shock slowly starting to fade.

Diavolo strode in, everyone moving out of the way to allow him to have his own time with you. The corners of his eyes crunched in happiness. His tight and broad shoulders sagged. Both of his large hands scooped up one of yours, bringing your touch to the side of his face. He closed his eyes, almost appearing as if he might purr any second. As he opened his sight back at you, a fire of positivity and excitement lit within him. “A party! We must throw a party! A welcome home celebration! This is…this is… a joyous day.”

At first, the others seemed confused. Then, one-by-one, small determined smiles spread across their faces. The sorrow melted and gave way to pure uncontrollable elation. People hugged each other, danced around the room, cheered, bounced, came back to kiss you, came back to hug you, nearly passing you around the room till Barbatos barged back in and took your hand, bringing you back to bed.

For a while, you assumed he would shut the idea down entirely. But then, the butler grinned. “I figured you would all say as much. Some preparations are already being made. In the meantime, we should let these two rest. They’ve had all too much excitement today.” Barbatos pulled the blanket back over your legs, readjusting the tray and giving you a biting glare that told you you wouldn’t be able to get out of drinking that god-forsaken tea. “But after that, we will celebrate. We will take every day and night to cherish you, and make up for the time we lost.”

Most of the brothers tried clinging to you, demanding they get to stay, but Diavolo, Barbatos, Lucifer, and Simeon managed to corral the desperate demons and one small angel out of the room.

But before they all left, you shouted. “Wait!” They all turned, worried that something was wrong. However, you smiled, happy tears running down your face this time. “I love you all. So very much.”

“I cherish you with every fibre of my being.”

“There ain’t nothing more priceless than you.”

“E-Everything is so much more fun with you here with m-m- us…”

“I…don’t want to even try to imagine a world without you in it.”

“Nothing, and I mean nothing, hun, is as charming as you.”

“Our family isn’t complete without you in it.”

“You belong with us. End of story.”

“You are one of the most precious beings the three realms has ever known.”

“I find myself discovering new things to enjoy every moment I spend with you.”

“Listen, you are a shining beacon in the night. Know how special you are.”

“You teach me so much! If it weren’t for you, I might still be scare— I mean, dislike demons!”

“My dear apprentice… We couldn’t have gotten home without you. You deserve the world. I will stick by you no matter where you go. And you deserve to know—“

“How much we love you too.”

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me headcanons #obey me imagines #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me levi #obey me satan #obey me asmo #obey me beel #obey me belphie #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me simeon #obey me solomon #obey me luke #obey me nightbringer #nightbringer spoilers

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churipu · 3 months

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OK HEAR ME OUT

nerd!nanami x girly!reader pls pls pls

thankss 💗

NANAMI WITH A GIRLY GIRL ૮₍ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ₎ა

featuring. nanami kento x fem! reader

warnings. i'm gonna make this a college! au , and a little cursing

note. hi nonnie, sorry that i just got to your request now — but i hope you like this :< uni's already getting real hectic, so updates might be a lil on the slow side.

nanami didn't fall in love with you at first sight — in fact, he finds you quite the nuisance. the way everyone loves you just because of the way you talk, the way you dress, the way you smell, your body language. he thinks it was all a simple act to fool people.

"hi, nanami!" you greet him, your bright pink colored apron dress flowing against the wind as you walked towards him elegantly — a white cotton cardigan covering your shoulders.

the male arched his brow mutely at your cheery voice, wondering what could someone like you want from him, "do you need anything?" he asks.

initially he thought that you were one of those people who'd woo him and try to get him to do your assignments, but he was proven wrong when you shook your head. giving out the brightest smile, showing off your pearly whites, "no, i was just saying hi."

then you brushed by him, the smell of your sweet fragrance entering his nostrils. sandalwood. you smelt like sandalwood and a hint of vanilla.

though he could then make sure of one thing, what an odd girl.

nanami was a good student. he focuses on his studies, while you try to fit in a bit of everything in your schedule — playing, hanging out, studying. but at the end of the day, nanami finds it shocking that you could pass with flying colors.

from his peripheral vision, nanami could see people crowding around you. he tells himself he didn't care about you, yet here was wondering why they were all over you.

"you told us you didn't study, you liar!" a girl pointed out accusingly at you, a smile pressed onto her lips.

"i just got lucky, i swear."

"that's what you said last time, y/n."

nanami didn't mean to eavesdrop, he knew it was wrong to hear someone else's conversation. but he couldn't help it when these people were speaking loudly — the only thing he could focus on was the fact that you had a perfect score.

call him weird, but he's all in for the brains.

the first time he officially spoke to you — nanami was a mess. he had never been in a proper conversation with most of the people at campus. most he's been in one is when he had to tell his group members off for being useless, but that was about it. and with you, he's a little awkward.

"oh, hi nanami! do you need anything?" you noticed that the male was eyeing you from his seat.

upon realizing what he had done, nanami immediately averted his gaze to the front. ignoring your words, not putting a second thought to it — but you shrugged it off anyways.

and the second time he laid his eyes on you for quite some time, it was in the middle of a lecture. so you slipped a note asking if he needed anything, and he replied with his own handwriting, saying "no".

embarrassed he'd gotten caught again. nanami felt like he was being discreet about his staring when in reality, it wasn't. and it's funny.

nanami didn't really understand why he was feeling like this. and he had nobody to talk to or ask about his feelings — so he made an assumption, it was the flu. coming into the lecture hall with a scarf tucked into his neck, and a white mask covering the lower half of his face.

"nanami, are you sick?" you asked him, and he nodded mutely, "well, it is flu season after all. i hope you get well soon."

nanami felt his heart flutter, and he chewed on his lips in frustration — if the mask had not been on his face, he was sure you'd be able to notice the frustration lingering in his expression.

his fingers frantically typing on the search engine typing out his symptoms, and every one of the choices ended up telling him the same thing.

he's in love.

but the male denied that, talking to himself how the internet was just a waste of time. he's in denial for a bit.

he's in denial of his own feelings. and would constantly turn away whenever you're there, passing by you in a rush as you were greeting him, or moving away to another seat when you sat next to him. forgetting the fact that you were also affected by his actions, wondering what you did wrong to him.

"hi nanami—" you waved your hand as the two of you passed by each other in the hallway.

but the male brushes past you in a flash, not even letting you finish your sentence. and you shrugged thinking that he might be in a rush.

but when it happened, again and again. you could definitely conclude that he is indeed avoiding you — hell, he won't even spare you a glance. and you wondered what you did wrong to him.

"is this seat—" you approached the seat next to him, ready to claim it but he stood up packing his things and moving to a lone seat three rows behind, "taken..?"

ouch.

nanami didn't feel like he did anything wrong until he was met by one of your friends. who — well, said anything but nice things to him. threats. warnings. and questions. even nanami didn't know the answer to.

"what the fuck did you do to y/n?" the female said, eyeing nanami up and down judgmentally.

what did he do to you?

"what?"

"i said, what did you do to her you dipshit?" wow. nanami could only furrow his brows, thinking of a possible answer that he is sure of because of the looks of it — even he didn't know what was going on right now, "why did you make her sad?"

"sad?" nanami questions, "i didn't talk to her."

"exactly. why didn't you? you know she likes you, right?" nanami's breath hitched at the revelation, and he shook his head, "what? are you stupid? and here i thought she was being too fucking obvious, god . . ."

he was too caught up to hear what the angry female in front of him had to say, he just focused on the fact that you— y/n l/n— liked him.

he was stupid with all these new feelings. and nanami wasn't used to being stupid — so for the first time, he had to ask your friend's help. asking guidance for what he should do, what you like, what he needed to say to you.

"just say you're sorry and confess. you like her too don't you?" your friend exasperatedly explained, already feeling a little exhausted from having to tell such a smart but idiotic male about love.

"okay."

your friend was a bit skeptical, so she had to elaborate and make a script for him (which he ended up reading in front of you by the way), "just try to memorize this and go."

nanami in fact, could not memorize the script.

when he knocked on your door, reading off the script in front of you. you find it funny, because you didn't know what was going on or what you expected.

"what are you doing, nanami?" you chuckled, shutting the door behind you as the male stood on your porch, holding the small paper your friend gave to him in his hand.

"apologizing."

"for what?"

"your friend told me i made you sad by avoiding you," you choked on your own breath, a bit embarrassed by your friend — flailing your hands a bit.

"she did? oh my god. i'll tell her to say sorry . . ."

nanami shook his head, "it's alright. and i like you too."

nanami and you made it official that night. and he, oh my god, he spoils you. rotten. despite being a college student — nanami has money. buying you dresses, hair accessories, flowers, anything he thinks reminded him of you, he will buy it for you.

"ken, what's this?" you question him as the male handed you a pink colored plastic bag.

nanami didn't answer you, but beckoned you to open it and to see for yourself. when you did, the sight of two shiny hair accessories made your heart flutter, "you got this for me? thank you so much, kento."

nanami gets very happy when he sees you using the things he buys for you, and he gets pretty upset when you tell him that he shouldn't be spending so much on you.

despite your advice, nanami still buys everything for you. he doesn't regret anything if it's about you.

he's a little tweaky and awkward at first, but as time goes by. he gets the hang of dating and relationships. the most gentle male, holding your hand, he will never let you walk on the outside part of the sidewalk, he stands behind you during an escalator ride up because you love to wear dresses, he will exchange his shoes for you if your feet were paining because of your own shoes (and he will carry your shoes for you), will carry your shopping bags and even your normal bag for you.

"let me carry that," he grabs your bag and carries it before lacing his fingers with yours.

"ken, you don't have to—"

"i insist." he cuts you off, smiling down at you and his hand squeezes yours lightly as if telling you that it was completely okay to rely on him because he loves it when you rely on him.

he absolutely loves going shopping with you. he gets the first look at new outfits, and he absolutely loves when you bring him to shop for new dresses. telling you to do a little twirl before complimenting you and how beautiful you looked. he always, always, ends up buying them all for you.

"so? how do i look?" you opened the door to the fitting room cubicle, showing yourself.

nanami had to hold back a smile from forming on his face, "turn around," he softly said — and when you did as he was told, the hem of your dress fluttering around as your body turns.

he finally broke into the smile, "you look beautiful." nanami compliments, taking your hand in his, "take the dress."

you chuckled, "ken, i already have two others. and you spent a lot on me — i don't want you to spend more on me."

nonsense.

nanami gets it for you unknowingly anyways, giving it to you on the walk back home from the mall. he always does that. always.

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jjk #fluff #jjk fluff #nanami kento x reader #kento nanami #nanamin #jujutsu nanami #nanami kento #jjk nanami #nanami x reader #nanami fluff #nanami #kento #nanami kento fluff

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joelslastofus · 3 months

Text

[SUMMARY: After roughly taking your virginity unknowingly, Joel does his best to make the second time around more comfortable for you.]

“I’ll make you feel it again and I promise it ain’t gonna hurt this time”

Part one

Smut

(There is a 50 limit on people who I can tag, I didn’t know so many would want to be tagged sorry I didn’t get everyone!)

It was early in the morning when you woke up to Ellie still asleep and Joel nowhere to be found. You figured he was out keeping himself busy close by, and so you decided to make something for everyone to eat using what you had. Your mind never stopped thinking about what you had just done the day before, you wondered how he was going to act with you in front of Ellie.

Cutting up some vegetables that you grew you heard the door open and knew it was him. Joel walked inside to find you by the kitchen area before looking up to his left and seeing Ellie was still asleep.

“Hi” you spoke softly as his eyes found you again. He gave you a nod as he walked towards you while you struggled to think of something else to say.

“So um, I’m making-“

“You still in pain?” He suddenly asked in a rough low voice. Of course you were, not even twenty four hours earlier Joel had just rammed himself in you not knowing you had never been touched. You shook your head before you could think of a word to say to his unexpected question.

“N-not really, maybe a little but I’m fine” you assured him as once again you began to think of how good it ended. It was worth it to be a little sore. Now if it was ever going to happen again, you weren’t sure, but you couldn’t help but ask how else you could make yourself feel that wonderful high he made you feel.

“Joel um…can I ask you something?”

“Mhm” he stood across from you.

“Well…um, you know that feeling I told you I felt when you made me-“

“Mhm” he cut you off being careful Ellie wasn’t eavesdropping yet eager to hear your question.

“How can I feel that same feeling again…I mean…I know we probably won’t um do that again but I want to feel it…how can I in another way?” You question was hesitant, you almost felt stupid.

He took a deep breath trying to find a way to not react in that moment, an image of you laying in bed with your hand between your legs making yourself cum now in his head and you didn’t even do it purposely.

“Joel?” Your voice snapping him out of it making him look back at you.

“You’ve never-“

“No. I mean we had health class and people spoke but I never…” you tried to explain when Ellie’s voice caught you both off guard.

“Hey are you making those vegetable fritters again?” Ellie asked with excitement running up beside you as Joel silently walked out the back door.

“Uh, yes. Hey why don’t you finish cutting these for me so I can go collect the rest of the vegetables.” Ellie nodded and took over with the knife in her hand as you walked out.

Joel stood in the back staring off into the woods trying to control himself with the thoughts you just put into his head. He knew last night shouldn’t have happened, especially not the way it did but how the hell was he suppose to ignore this urge for you. His thoughts being interrupted by the sound of the door slamming shut as you walked out.

“Sorry, I just needed to get a few things” you uttered low as he looked over his shoulder at you.

“What the hell are you trynna to do to me?”

“What?” You asked confused as he turned looking behind you making sure Ellie wasn’t following you out. Quickly he stepped closer to you, with a very similar look he had the night before.

“I’m trying my best here to not-“ he cut himself off, his eyes drifting down to your lips.

“To not what?” You asked confused making him look back up, but he didn’t speak.

“Look Joel, if you don’t wanna tell me what I asked-“ he suddenly grabbed your face and kissed you making you stumble back against the wall. Still holding your face in his hands he pulled his lips away, his eyes darkened.

“No I don’t wanna tell you,”

“I wanna show you” his words sending a tingle to the pit of your stomach.

“You wanna feel what you felt last night, darlin’?” His eyebrows furrowed as his hands dropped to your waist holding you close.

“Y-yes”

“I’ll make you feel it again and I promise it ain’t gonna hurt this time”

“Joel…I…I don’t care if it hurts...I just want-“

“Hey, I’m done cutting the vegetables!” Ellie called out from inside making Joel quickly turn away from you thinking she came out. You took a deep breath grabbing the vegetables and walked back inside not saying another word.

That evening the three of you sat at the table together having dinner as you usually did. Ellie raised her brows looking back and fourth between you and Joel as you both didn’t lift your heads up from your plates.

“So uh, I was gonna ask if I can try fishing later?”

“By yourself?” Joel quickly looked up directly at her.

“Uh yeah, I mean its right there. We have most of the area closed off. Why not?”

“I don’t know, Ellie. I doubt you’d be able to catch more than I can anyway” he teased her making you look up.

“Nuh uh, wanna bet?”

Joel knew exactly what he was doing, Ellie out of the cabin leaving the place to just you and him…exactly what he had in mind.

“It’s on” Joel chuckled making you smile, it was rare to see Joel in a light hearted mood.

After dinner you watched as Ellie excitedly packed her stuff to fish with Joel making sure she had all she needed.

“You sure she’s gonna be safe there?” You asked making him look up at you.

“I wouldn’t let her go if I thought she wasn’t” he responded as you stood by the counter.

“Ok” you whispered as they finished up packing before Joel walked her to the lake leaving you alone in the cabin.

Being alone with Joel in doors bought an excitement to you that you never felt before. You knew what this meant with Ellie not there and had an idea. Looking at a tiny dirty mirror that was hung on the wall you began to undress yourself. It was strange, although this man had already taken your virginity, he still had yet to see your naked body.

With only a sweater on you watched out the window until you saw him finally approaching. Quickly throwing the sweater aside you positioned yourself by the counter that he would see the second he walked in. Your heart racing hearing the door knob turn until it finally opened, your naked body catching Joel completely off guard. Clenching his jaw he shut the door behind him as you stood awkwardly not sure what to do with your hands. Joel could tell you were nervous, your innocence arousing him a bit more. His eyes slowly finding the sight of your breasts, he began to make his way towards you without taking his eyes off them. Neither of you said a word but he could see you began to breathe heavier as your chest rose and fell in a fast pace. He stopped before you, slowly looking back up into your eyes.

“Now I’m trying my very best to not sit you up on that counter and take you just like I did last night but you’re making it too damn hard for me to not-”his eyes wandered to your naked body again.

“To not just do what I wanna do without thinking. But I promised you I wasn't gonna hurt you, and I keep my promises, darlin”. He looked back up at you.

“Joel-“ you whispered.

“Mm mm” he shook his head,

“I don’t wanna hear a word…not unless you’re cumming for me. I just want you to lay yourself on my bed” he proceeded to take off his jacket as you looked at where he slept. He watched as you nervously lay back on his pillow as he slowly lay beside you turned towards you. Silently his eyes drifted down to your body as you nervously took a deep breath. His large rough hand gently brushing over your hard nipples, he wondered if any other man had the pleasure in ever seeing them before let alone touching them. Slowly he moved down to your bare thigh as you looked up at him curiously.

“What are you gonna do?”

His eyes found yours as his fingers creeped to your inner thigh. He didn’t respond, gently pulling your thigh towards him, making your legs spread. He instantly felt you leg jerk back a bit, he knew you were nervous. You didn’t even realize you had done it.

“C’mere” he whispered pulling your leg completely against him before feeling his fingers trace your slit delicately.

“I’m gonna make sure you’re ready for me” his lips brushing against your ear sending goosebumps through your body just as you felt his finger on your very clit. Slowly he began to move his finger in a circular motion building up the pleasure little by little. Moaning softly he watched as your body began to squirm with excitement before sliding his finger down and feeling how wet you already were.

“Oh there it is” he whispered just as he slid his large finger in. You softly gasped as he leaned his lips against your face, you could feel his hard on against your thigh. Your fingers digging into the covers beneath you, just like that he was slowly finger fucking you…

So many thoughts running through your mind had all just melted away with what he was doing to you, you hadn’t even noticed just how focused he was on watching you as he continued until he spoke.

“That feel good,baby?” You looked up barely able to speak. The sound of your wet pussy speaking for itself, arousing him more.

“Joel..” you choked out jerking your hips upward, he knew what was about to happen.

“Joel…I think…I think it’s happening again” you rolled your eyes back as he moved his hand faster pressing his lips together. You grabbed onto his shirt, nails digging in, he watched as your back arched and lips opened but no sound came out before you cried out like I never before.

“Oh my god-“ you whimpered, your body still shaking against his as his hand slowly stopped. Your legs moving uncontrollably…you both locked eyes.

“Joel-“

“Shh, just feel it, baby” you panted looking up at him and pulled him in for a passionate kiss.

Joel kissed you before suddenly whispering something you didn’t expect.

“Get on me, baby” he began to undress himself quickly before you could say a word. For some reason your heart sunk at the thought, you didn’t know how to ride a man much less a man of his size.

“Joel, I can’t-“ you whispered looking down at how hard he was.

“C’mere” he pulled your arms landing your hands on his bare shoulders.

“Joel wait, I don’t know how-“

“Look at me” he pulled your leg over him as you struggled to keep your balance holding onto him, you froze feeling his cock begin to enter you.

“Look at me, baby. You don’t have to do a damn thing” he held onto your hips as he slowly pushed upward while pulling you down on him. This angle only made him feel bigger, still sore from the day before the you winced making Joel instantly stop.

“You alright?”

“Yes” you whispered looking down at him. It seemed no matter how aroused you were, it was still bound to hurt, being sore also didn’t help.

“It’s ok just..just do it” he quickly shook his head at your suggestion.

“Don’t tell me that, I told you I wasn’t gonna hurt you” you felt his hands squeeze your hips, you knew he was doing his best to control his urge to thrust.

“Joel” you insisted with a look while leaning on his chest. Without saying a word, with full force he thrusted upward making you loudly gasp. The fullness you felt you were almost afraid to move, he remained still beneath you allowing you to adjust to his size.

“Dammit” he whispered breathlessly seeing the discomfort on your face. His hand gently brushing up your body, caressing your face. Slowly he pulled your body down completely against his, kissing you he attempted to distract you from the pain. You could feel his heart racing against your chest as you felt him very slowly pull out half way before sliding back in. You whimpered against his lips as he moved as gentle as he could. He continued this way until he felt your body relax, moving at a steady pace until you pushed yourself up and began to move on your own. He watched as you balanced yourself on him and began to ride him with ease.

“That’s it baby” His hands down on your thighs as he looked down and watched himself disappear in you. This position felt different but you liked it, he could feel how much you liked it. Closing your eyes you moaned throwing your head back when you felt his hands cup your breasts. He didn’t say much but he didn’t have to, the sound of his breathing and the way he touched you said enough. Moving in a faster pace he groaned appreciating the view of you on top, watching your hips grind sensually. His hands abruptly moved down your body as he unexpectedly took back control. You felt his legs lift up beneath you while holding you in place. His hands grabbing your ass he thrusted upward as fast as he could, watching your expressions change from the overwhelming pleasure.

“Joel-“

“Go ahead, cum for me” he demanded out of breath. Both of your bodies sweaty, your hands sliding up his chest but he held, the pressure you felt was much bigger than you had felt before.

“Oh my God-“ your nails digging into his chest, this time it felt much more intense, you didn’t think you could handle it.

“Joel, I can’t-“

“Yes you can” he panted. You squeezed your eyes shut, he felt you tighten up when ecstasy erupted throughout your body. Moaning almost in desperation, you held onto him barely able to keep yourself balanced. His mouth open watching your breasts bounce to his quick movements, he felt your cum drip down his balls. He watched you in awe, holding you steady on him as you felt complete loss of control.

“Oh yeah..” he whispered just as he felt himself about to explode. He quickly lifted you up and moaned in a way you had never heard before. Still on top of him, you leaned back, watching his hips jerk upward as his warm load spilled out of him.. Another harsh sound escaping his lips, yet you couldn’t take your eyes off his cock. His hand wrapped around it, finishing himself off, he looked down and noticed how you watched. He could barely speak taking a minute to catch his breath.

“You ok?” He whispered making you look up at him.

“Are you?”

Joel chuckled as sweat dripped down the side of his head and nodded.

The two of you were silent as you got dressed but you could feel Joel’s eyes on you. He knew there must’ve been alot running through your mind but he wasn’t a mind reader.

“You alright darlin’?”

“Can I ask you something?” You looked at him curiously.

“Of course”

“Does….does it feel the same way for you…the way it does for me….when you-“ Joel chuckled making you cross your arms.

“Why are you laughing, it’s an honest question”

Joel pulled your arms wrapping them around him, as he wrapped his around your waist.

“It can feel pretty intense…like just now” he responded calmly with a slight smirk.

“It almost made it hard for me to get you up on time” and you knew exactly what could happen if he didn’t. He pulled you in for a kiss as you were still lost in thought.

“You know-“ you gently pushed him back.

“It felt a lot…stronger today..while I was on top of you.”

“I take it you like riding me then, huh,” he whispered as he kissed the side of your face.

“I wanna try different things, Joel” your eyes rolled back feeling his scruff against your neck, his lips leaving a trail of soft kisses.

“We will” you smiled when the random thought of how much of an ass he used to be with you came to mind.

“Hey….why’d you always give me a hard time at first” your question making him stop as he took a deep breath. He took a step back as he looked down thinking of how to respond.

“I was trying to avoid this”

“Having sex with me?” You almost laughed making him look up, the seriousness in his eyes made you quickly stop.

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me and I just didn’t think it was a good thing for you” he rubbed his facial hair as you raised a brow.

“So what’s the difference between then and now?” Joel cleared his throat knowing a moment of weakness from him was what made the difference.

“Seeing you wearing my shirt that night” his words making you blush.

“Do you regret it?” You asked hesitantly.

“Of course not” he responded quicker than you expected.

“I only regret not knowing you were a virgin, for your sake.” You didn’t exactly know how to respond and so you looked down with slight embarrassment.

“Hey” he placed his hand on your waist pulling you in.

“I’m glad it was me” he whispered before kissing you gently and making his way to the door.

“We’ll be back in a few” he left you standing there silently, you couldn’t help but wonder what this meant although you promised yourself you wouldn’t think too much into it…

Tags

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#pedro pascal #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x you #joel miller smut #joel miller x y/n #the last of us #the last of us fanfiction #tlou fanfiction #joel miller fan fic

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ktgoodmorning · 18 days

Text

That awkward smile

Alexia Putellas x reader

You return to Barcelona and are faced with having your ex as your captain

Masterlist

“What are you doing here?” you jumped slightly as you heard the one voice you were dreading the most when you transferred to Barcelona, your ex. It was your first day at the training grounds, meeting with different administrative staff to finish paperwork and do your medical assessments. Your transfer hadn’t been announced yet but for some reason you assumed that Alexia would’ve known since she was captain.

You stopped to look up at her. It was the first time you had seen each other in over a year. Of course you had seen pictures online, and seen her in passing at different awards nights, but you hadn’t truly been face to face in a long time. You knew that obviously she would be your captain after you transferred here, but hadn’t mentally prepared to see her so soon, before you had really made it inside.

“I’m transferring here, just finalizing everything today.” There was an awkward tension in the air as you spoke, saying only the bare minimum in hopes of ending the conversation as quickly as possible. You knew it was going to be uncomfortable between you at first but it had been long enough and the two of you were professional enough that you figured it would get better with time.

“Oh!” the blonde looked at you surprised, clearly not having been told this news ahead of time. Although you noticed how the corners of her mouth turned up slightly, definitely not angry about your presence, but still struggling to decide what she wanted to say. “Well… I’m sure you’ll be a good addition to the pitch. Let me know if you need anything while you get settled here.” You gave her a short nod, grateful for her breaking the tension between you and hopefully putting your shared past behind you.

The two of you had dated years ago. You had played together on the Spanish national team for most of your lives before you started dating. You were together for almost two years, most of that time being really great. But once you decided to leave the national team after the 2022 Euros, it was the beginning of the end for your relationship. After you left the national team, the two of you rarely saw each other due to you playing in the WSL. You were both young and busy and the long distance destroyed the connection between you. She was focused on her recovery and you were focused on your career. The stress in your lives and the distance between you led to both of you frequently taking your anger out on each other, eventually putting an end to your relationship.

You loved Alexia. When your relationship was at its best, you were the epitome of a classic football power couple. Everyone was rooting for you, including you. She was so good to you. You both were fiercely independent and made room for that in your relationship, always having the space you needed to continue to develop. You made each other better in almost every way. All your friends and family could see it, you pushed each other in exactly the way you needed, in ways that most people couldn’t.

It was hard to forget the way you loved her, the way she loved you. At some point, you knew you wanted to talk to her, have a real conversation about all of it. Your breakup had been rough, both of you had said things you shouldn’t have, both of you left hurt and without closure. It wasn’t either of your fault’s- you each played a role in your own downfall. You hoped at the very least, you had matured enough to get the closure you needed and put your past behind you, if nothing else, for the success of the team.

You were in the middle of doing media photos when you heard another familiar voice. “Zorri, I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you were coming here! I had to find out through Alexia?!”

“Mapi!!!” you took off running towards her, fully abandoning the photographer so you could practically tackle the defender in a hug. “I wanted to surprise you! I missed you!”

Mapi was one of your best friends. You were bonded closely from your similar experiences with the national team and had been there for each other through it all, no matter how far away you were. She was one of the only reasons you still visited Spain frequently, always staying close no matter how far away you lived. Mapi had been there for the breakup between you and Alexia and had seen how hard it had been on both of you. Honestly, she was half the reason you had transferred to Barcelona. Of course you wanted to see her more often, but more than that, she had given you the confidence you needed to trust that you could succeed there amongst some of the greatest players in the world.

“I missed you, it’s been too long since you came to see me.” The Zaragozan gave you a playful glare wrapping her arm around your shoulders to keep you close.

“Well now I don’t have to visit you cause I’ll be living here!”

“It’s about time you did! Ingrid will be happy that she doesn’t have to worry about me hogging the phone when you call.”

“Yeah well now I’ll finally get to talk to Ingrid again, won’t I?” she gave you a little shove as she rolled her eyes while you just laughed at her, happy to finally be back with your best friend.

“Hey I’ll wait for you to finish up your media, then I can take you to go say hi to everyone? We all just finished up on the pitch.” You gave her a nod before going back to the photographer that you had left behind to wrap up the few pictures you had left.

Most of the team you already knew from your time with the national team or through Mapi, but you were still somewhat nervous to officially meet them. Barcelona was known for being a tight knit team and you were nervous to have to come into that. Of course your history with Alexia didn’t help matters- did she tell people about you? Do they know how poorly your breakup went? What if they all hate you because they think you hurt her?

Having Mapi by your side as she led you to the locker room brought you some amount of comfort. At the very least, you knew she and Ingrid would always have your back, no matter what happened with the rest of the team. But even next to your best friend, you were most nervous about facing Alexia again. Even though you had already seen her briefly in the hallway earlier, something about this felt different- more official. Now you had signed all the papers and there was no going back, making it all the more terrifying.

Just in front of the locker room doors, Mapi stopped you to try to give you some encouragement before facing the entire team waiting for you on the other side of the door. She took both of your hands in hers and looked at you closely, “Hey, look at me. You’re gonna be fine. You know most of them already, and we all already love you, you don’t need to be so nervous.” You nodded at her, thankful she could read your thoughts so easily. “Vamos bien?”

The defender pulled you in for a quick hug before leading you through the doors to face the team.

The team seemed to be all smiles as Mapi introduced you, ready to welcome you with open arms. Very few of the girls were new to you and they seemed to all be unaware of your history with their captain, who you had a difficult time tearing your gaze from. The blonde kept her eyes on the ground, barely looking up at you as you made your way around the room to talk with everyone.

Everyone knew how unusual it was for Alexia to be this quiet and shy around the team. With other people, sure, but not with the team. Especially when it involved a new signing, the captain would normally be the first one to greet them and introduce them to everyone. Some people knew that you had dated, anyone who had been on the national team at the time had seen it first hand, but most people knew nothing about your breakup. All of them were used to teammates dating and breaking up so it didn’t phase them. The weird part of all of it was Alexia’s current behavior, and how she suddenly appeared extremely insecure.

As you made your way around the locker room, she finally was able to look up at you when you got closer. You approached her slowly, unsure of what you were supposed to say, noticing the tight lipped smile she gave you. For Alexia, you knew her well enough to know that the awkward half-smile was her attempt at being normal, just not fully sure how to do so. If she was truly mad at you, it’d be much more clear to you, knowing she wouldn’t have made any kind of attempt to be nice.

You gave her a soft smile in return, pulling her into a friendly hug, almost as a thank you for her not holding your past against you. The hug was supposed to be short, just a friendly gesture to show your forgiveness, but apparently the blonde had other plans. She held onto you tightly, much longer than you had anticipated before she pressed a soft kiss to your shoulder and pulled away. Her hands remained on your shoulders so she could talk to you before you moved on to say hello to the next person. “Can we get coffee or something sometime so we can talk?”

“I’d like that, Ale. Are you free after this?” She gave you a big smile, the first you’d seen from her, before nodding. Her large hands gave your shoulders a squeeze before letting go to allow you to keep talking to your new teammates.

The idea of getting to talk to Alexia, finally getting the closure that you never got before, maybe being on good terms again- it all made you excited. Should you try to be friends again? It might be really great for you, you obviously had been close in the past, maybe a friendship would work better. You knew in the back of your head that you still loved her. How could you not? But you’d push that thought down as far as you possibly could, knowing it wasn’t what you needed at the moment. You just wanted to be on good terms again.

The room started to empty out as everyone was tired from the day of training and ready to go home. You slowly made your way back to Alexia’s cubby, waiting for her to finish changing and getting ready after her shower. The blonde made her way back to you, still drying her hair with a towel before looking at you, almost as if she were surprised you actually waited for her. “You know, I always knew you’d look good in some Barca stuff,” she nodded down at the plethora of Barcelona apparel you had been given to wear.

You raised your brow at her, her confidence clearly returning, “Is this your attempt at flirting with me Putellas?”

“That depends, is it working?” The blonde smirked back at you, feeling much more comfortable now that the rest of the time wasn’t around to watch. She just chuckled at the way you rolled your eyes at her, grabbing her bag as she did so. “Ready to go? I can drive you if you want?”

“That sounds perfect, Reina” You knew the nickname always annoyed her, causing you to use it constantly. You giggled as you followed her out, even more hopeful than before for whatever this talk would entail.

The car ride to the cafe was peaceful. There was some light small talk, catching up with each other while also avoiding what you knew you were there to talk about. You talked casually about life, and football, and what your families had been up to in the past year. When she pulled up outside the small cafe, she led you inside and straight to the counter. “Do you still have the same coffee order?”

You were taken aback by her question, shocked that she could possibly still remember your order. Alexia took your silence as confirmation, ordering for you before you could even process it. She just offered you another smile, still humored by your reaction before leading you to her favorite table.

“Thank you, Ale. Seriously. You didn’t need to buy my drink. And thank you for being willing to talk with me.”

She wiped at her mouth softly, “Of course. I wanted to talk to you too,” she paused, “I want to apologize… for how things ended with us.” Her eyes hit the floor again, seemingly embarrassed of her feelings.

“I’m sorry too. We both were just in a bad place, and took it out on each other. The breakup was the right thing at the time.”

“We weren’t ready for it. For any of it. We thought we had life figured out and then it all came crashing down.”

“Do you think we could be ready for it now… maybe?” you basically whispered, not sure what you were trying to get at. You had no intention coming into this conversation with any plan of trying to get back together. It had been over a year since you had talked, you might not even get along anymore, hell she might not even be single anymore. And here you were, already about to ruin everything.

“I think we could be. Maybe if we just take it slow, and don’t rush into anything, we can just see how it goes,” she spoke with more uncertainty than you had ever seen from her before. “I want to treat you how I didn’t before. If you’ll let me.”

You gave her another soft smile, something you’d done a lot with her today, “I think that’s a good idea. I think just taking it easy to see what happens, not forcing anything. No matter what happens though, I don’t want to lose you, Ale. If it doesn’t go well, I need you to promise that we’ll stay friends still. I can’t lose the one person I love, not over some stupid shit.”

The serious look on her face suddenly switched to a smirk, “The one person you love?”

“Yes, Ale, love. Are you really gonna pretend you don’t still love me? I know that weird half-smile at me in the locker room would say otherwise.” you rolled your eyes at her, knowing that you were right. It was clear that you had both pushed away more feelings than you realized in the past year.

“Hmmm you know me too well, amor.” She grabbed your hand and brought it to her lips, pressing a kiss to the back of it before leaning her head on your joined hands. Your favorite girl just stared at you with a big not awkward smile on her face, excited about your future, and about where your relationship would go from here. Wherever that would be, you both knew it would be good.

I feel like the ending was super rushed, I kinda hate it, so sorry.

Any feedback and requests are totally welcome tho!

Check out part two here!

And part three!

Masterlist

#barca femeni #barcelona femeni #woso imagines #fcb femini #woso one shot #woso #woso x reader #woso imagine #espwnt #espwnt x reader #alexia x reader #alexia putellas #alexia putellas imagine #alexia putellas x reader #wosoreading24/7 #wosoreadingalexia

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finelinevogue · 3 months

Text

sad beginnings,

summary - everyone sees you as this weird and crazy ravenclaw. everyone except remus and sirius. part 2

pairing - ravenclaw!reader x wolfstar

word count - ~1.5k

[part 1]

Your face stung like a swarm of bees.

The pace you were running through the corridors, causing the cold wind to cut through the cat scratches on your face were so sore. Cat scratches that had been put there purposefully by someone who didn’t like you; Darcy.

Her and her band of Ravenclaw elites thought they ran the House, including Philip who was like the devil incarnate. They have never liked you and have turned the majority of the school against you, claiming that you’re weird and crazy.

Weird? Maybe. Crazy? Well, you certainly wouldn’t use your pet cat to scratch out someone’s cheek just because you had a little more power over them.

Now you were going to have to walk in late to Potions, all because you’d left your textbook in your dorm and then had a run-in with Darcy and her cat.

You’d cleaned up the wound the best you could, but it was just so sore now.

The tears stung in your eyes, willing you to set them free. However, you had already figured out that tears in your cuts were worse than holding back the tears.

You took a deep breath before walking into the Potions class that Professor Slughorn taught.

He didn’t particularly care for favourites and he didn’t really have least favourites, but he did make a deal about his students being late to his lessons.

The door made a loud screech as it opened. Way to walk in subtly.

You kept your head down as everyone’s eyes turned to yours.

Lots of whispering started up and it no doubt had everything to the scratches down your cheek, and the fact you were never ever late.

“Ah. Nice of you to join us, Miss L/N.” Professor Slughorn spoke, making you cringe at his tone.

“Sorry I’m late, Sir.” You looked up at him and saw him cringe in return as he saw your cheek. He made no move to comment on it though.

“Take a seat now, please. See me after class for a detention.”

You shamefully dropped your head. Now your perfect record would be screwed over.

Sirius dramatically stood up from his chair, the sound of metal upon the stone floor grating everyone’s ears to pieces.

“Actually that won’t be necessary, Sir. Y/N gave me her textbook since I’d forgotten mine at breakfast, so Y/N went to the Hall for me to retrieve it. Wouldn’t want your precious textbooks going missing, Professor.”

“Oh, well, never mind then.” Slughorn shrugged. Sirius knew he was wrapped around Slughorn’s finger and used it to his advantage to save you a detention.

You looked over to him and smiled in thanks, but Sirius didn’t smile back. Neither did Remus. They were both looking at you with concern, or at least what you thought was concern. It might be anger for nearly getting them in trouble.

James tugged on Sirius’ shirt for him to sit down again. Sirius tugged away from him though, fists clenching against his sides as he watched you.

You attempted to find a seat then.

You walked over to a table full of other Ravenclaw girls in your year, but the one empty seat at the table instantly became unavailable as a girl dumped her bag on the chair next to her.

“Seats taken.”

“Oh, sorry.” You said softly, walking to another table where there were only three of them sat. Plenty of room.

You went to pull out a chair next to one of the guys there, only to realise there was black ink all over the stool for some reason - meaning it was also unavailable.

“Tough luck.” One of the boys said and the rest snickered.

“Miss L/N, why don’t you just go and sit over there.” Slughorn pointed his hand over to where an empty table was. It should’ve seated 6 people, but currently no one was sat there.

You nodded your head and quickly made your way to the table before any more attention could be drawn towards you.

It was a table at the back of the room and quite far out of sight of the blackboard, making it difficult to copy out the notes. You tried your best.

At one point during the lesson you turned your head to the wall to let out a few tears, knowing no one could see you. A few salty tears burned over your wound, but you bit on your lip to cover the sob that wanted to erupt from your chest.

This really fucking sucked.

You were all for self-wallowing, but when it was in the middle of a class you hated it.

There was a time and a place for it and it was not here and it wasn’t now.

You dug your blunt fingernails, from all the anxious biting, into your palms to suppress the emotions you wanted to let out. Focusing on the lesson and Slughorn’s words were your best chance of getting through this.

You were busy writing away, trying to keep up with the notes, when you felt someone sit down next to you. Your natural instinct was to tense and shuffle away only slightly, because who wanted to sit next to you if not to torment you further?

“Y/N?”

You were shocked to see Remus sat next to you.

“Oh, hi, Remus. Are you okay? Am I in the way or something?” You looked around you to make sure you weren’t.

“No, no! We- I mean, I, just wanted to ask you something?” He stumbled over his words.

“Sure.”

“Uh.. Well….”

“Oh my God, Remus! Are you okay?” You gasped when you saw a cut along his forehead, which was hidden beneath his hair and you’d only seen because of how close you were sitting.

So close, in fact, that you could smell his cologne: Cedar wood and… something else.

“Me? Are you seriously asking me that right now?” He looked shocked and you blushed like mad.

“I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have asked, it wasn’t my place. I apologise.” You shook your head and tried to refocus on your work.

“Y/N…” Remus said ever so softly.

His voice was so pretty. So delicate.

Sirius’ was more rough and deeper. Both were a song to listen to.

You didn’t reply, thinking that if you just ignored them he wouldn’t be mad at you anymore. Because he was mad, right? You shouldn’t have questioned something so personal about him.

“Y/N?” He asked again.

You’d never get over hours name sounded coming from him.

Slowly, you tilted your head towards him. Instead of being met with a furious gaze you were met with something much softer. His warm eyes looked troubled.

You looked at him nervously, hoping for the best out of whatever this situation was.

He reached up a hand towards your face, a couple of rings placed on his ridiculously well structured fingers. You followed the movement of his hand, whilst Remus followed your eyes.

His fingers carefully brushed your fallen hair that covered your cheek and only slightly pushed it to the side, his fingers barely touching your skin.

You let out a shaky breath.

You were one to wear your emotions on your sleeve and Remus had you feeling very nervous in that moment. Not nervous like you’d been around Darcy or Philip. A different kind. A better kind.

“Who did this to you?” He asked.

You looked up to see him studying the cuts like you’d seen him in the library studying for a test. He was trying to map out all the details of your scratches, so it seemed.

“What?”

“Please, Y/N. Let us know who did this to you? Hell, even what did this?”

“Us?” Was the word you chose to focus on.

“Yes—.”

“Mr Lupin, there’s a time and a place for funny business and it won’t be in my classroom.” Slughorn broke whatever moment had happened between you and Remus.

Remus had been quick to drop your hair, apologise and return to his seat.

Your cheeks flushed red with the thought of someone catching you looking, almost, intimate with Remus.

Oh God.

What if Sirius had seen?

You looked over to where Remus had rejoined Sirius. Remus was whispering to Sirius whilst you watched Sirius’ jaw click.

The chill that surpassed you when Sirius turned to face you across the room told you everything you needed to know.

Stay. The hell. Away. From. My boyfriend.

•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•

As Slughorn finished the class Remus quickly tried to stuff everything into his satchel before everyone left without him.

“C’mon! Hurry up!” Sirius urged him - only because he obviously didn’t have his own bag and made Remus carry everything.

“Shut it.” Remus snipped, shoving his textbook in his bag before grabbing his cloak and moving.

“Hey, calm down.” Sirius tried to soothe him, slipping his hand into Remus’.

“Calm down— Are you insane?”

“A bit.”

“How am I supposed to be calm when half of Y/N’s face is missing?” Remus whisper shouted and Sirius quickly pushed him back against a stone wall for a time-out.

“Calm down. I mean it, Rem.”

Remus let the cool of the stone wall sink in through his skin and allow him to breathe again.

He didn’t know what was coming over him recently.

“Y/N’s gone now, because I couldn’t pull myself together.” Remus sighed.

Sirius brought his hand up to cup underneath Remus’ chin lightly, making it so he had no choice but to look at him.

“Look at me.” Remus tried to move away, but Sirius’ hands held strong. “Hey, don’t. Look at me. We are going to find Y/N and get to the bottom of whatever has happened, okay? But you need to calm down first.”

Remus let his shoulders exhale and he nodded. “Okay.”

Sirius smiled, leaning in to give Remus a few kisses. One for listening to him and another just because he loved him so much. Sirius could really feel Remus calming down after those.

“I just… Y/N is… she means…” Remus struggled to find the right words to say, but it didn’t really matter.

“I know. She means the same to me.”

Sirius rested his forehead against Remus, as they calmed each other and maybe one day hoping you’d be right there beside them.

#wolfstar angst #wolfstar fic #wolfstar #wolfstar x reader #wolfstar x reader angst #ravenclaw reader fic #harry potter fic #marauders era fic #marauders x reader #wolfstar x ravenclaw reader #wolfstar blurbs #sad beginnings finelinevogue #finelinevogue masterlist #polywolfstar x reader #poly!wolfstar

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uvobreakmylegs · 10 months

Text

Last Day Out

sorry for my inactivity here’s a Chrollo fic for your troubles

Warnings: death, kidnapping

Word count: 6.9k

The dark, clouded skies overhead threatened to burst open with rain at any moment, much to your disappointment. You were hoping that the weather would be good when you went out with him today. A nice day with lots of sun but wasn't too hot – that was what you'd been counting on. Days like that made it hard for you to feel sad, and you hoped it would be the same for him.

But despite a decent temperature, the clouds loomed overhead and blocked out the sun completely. That only left you feeling nervous.

What made that feeling worse was the fact that there weren't a lot of people here, the threat of rain was compelling most to stay at home. Not an unreasonable stance to take, but it was bad timing for you. A busier atmosphere in the cafe would have made you feel a bit more at ease, but when the only other company you had were the two waitresses who were currently wiping down empty tables and an elderly couple taking their time with their lunch, it was hard to feel like you had any safety in numbers.

Then again, the cafe could've been filled to the brim with patrons and you likely would've still had the same problem. Because no matter how many people were around you, it wasn't like that changed anything when you were sitting across from your boyfriend and trying to build up the nerve to tell him something that he wouldn't be happy to hear.

With the way things were outside of the cafe and how nervous you felt, you almost wanted to cancel your date entirely and move it to a different day, but you'd forced yourself to go through with it, knowing full well that if you dragged this out any longer, it would only get worse for you.

You needed to break up with Chrollo.

But you needed to do it in a way that didn't end in him being angry with you.

That couldn't be too hard, right? In the time that you'd known him, Chrollo had never exhibited any truly worrying behaviors towards you. The two of you had some disagreements, but he had never gotten full-on angry or even raised his voice with you. And while ending a relationship was much more significant than the minor disputes you'd had over unimportant things, you wanted to believe that he would take it well.

He needed to care at least a little about you, right? So he wouldn't take it badly and lash out in the worst way possible, right?

You had no idea, but you told yourself that he would respect you enough to accept your decision, even if it might hurt him to do so.

He was capable of giving you that much courtesy, right?

“You've been very quiet today.”

The sound of his voice snapped you out of your thoughts, and then you were back, sitting in the booth of the brightly-lit cafe that was greatly contrasted against the dark hues present outside, with your mostly finished meal sitting on a plate in front of you while the older couple a few tables away spoke quietly to one another and one of the waitresses had disappeared to an area in the back.

Back to Chrollo, sitting across from you with a look on his face that you couldn't quite read.

You got the sense that he was studying you.

You gave him a soft smile as you said “I guess the state of things outside has me feeling a bit down.”

He nodded as if he understood, then said “we didn't need to go out today if you weren't up for it.”

“No, I wanted to go out. And besides, sometimes it's better if you make yourself do something even if you aren't feeling up to it.”

Immediately after saying that, you realized how bad that sounded, and you stumbled over yourself as you added “sorry, that came out wrong. I didn't mean to make it sound like going out with you was a chore.”

He smiled at that.

“I assumed that was the case, but I appreciate you clarifying.”

Chrollo took a sip of his water before saying “and while it's a nice sentiment, it's also always fine to cancel if you aren't feeling well.”

“It's not really a matter of not feeling well,” you answered, “just one of those days, you know?”

“I see.”

The meal was coming to a close, and soon one of the waitresses would be over to take your plates. Which meant the time that you needed to say those words you dreaded was coming up.

I think we should break up

Just thinking them made a lump form in your throat, and in that moment you really wished it was safe enough for you to break up by text. It would've felt scummy to do it that way but you wouldn't have needed to deal with this. Although breaking up through text wasn't taken well even by the most well-mannered people, and you desperately didn't want him to be angry with you.

You just couldn't see him the same way anymore.

Not after watching that video.

The waitress, the one with braided hair who'd been wiping down the tables earlier, approached your table and asked if she could take your plates. Chrollo responded for you, smiling as he gave her a polite confirmation.

Okay, you thought to yourself. As soon as she left, you would say it. Maybe begin by saying you had something important to talk about.

“Was there anything else I can get for you?” the waitress asked, “or did you want the check?”

You were about to ask for the check when Chrollo responded for you again.

“I wouldn't mind having a look at the dessert menu,” he answered. Then he looked to you as he asked “does that sound good to you?”

“Uh, sure.”

The waitress was happy to comply, and with the cafe being next to empty she brought the menus over to you quickly. Chrollo didn't take long to figure out what he wanted, and he and the waitress chatted a bit while you came to a decision.

You glanced over at him a few times, noting how comfortable and relaxed he appeared to be as he engaged in polite conversation.

He still had a knife, you realized. It sat next to where his plate had been, having gone unused during the meal. A bad thought came to mind then. Of how open the waitress' neck was and how easy it would be for him to grab that knife and then-

Stop it. Just order something and then get this over with.

The waitress went to the back soon after to get a parfait for you and a tiramisu for Chrollo, which left you alone with him again.

It'd be awkward to tell him now that you wanted to leave him, wouldn't it? So you'd need to wait until after you'd gotten your desserts to say it. You let out a soft sigh without thinking, after which you found yourself hoping that he hadn't noticed.

“I know it isn't much,” Chrollo said, bringing your attention back to him, “but I thought that perhaps something sweet might lift your spirits a little.”

“Thank you,” you replied, then added “sorry if I've been ruining things for you today, though.”

“Nonsense,” he replied, “no matter what mood you're in, I'm happiest when I'm with you.”

As he said that, he reached one of his hands over the table and held it out, and after a moment, you copied him, placing your hand into his and allowing him to squeeze it softly.

There was an odd flutter in your heart upon feeling his touch. And when you looked back to him and found the soft smile on his face as he stared at you lovingly, you remembered the day you met him and why you'd fallen for him.

The area where the two of you met was close to the cafe; you'd been walking on the sidewalk when someone had shoved into you from behind unexpectedly and you were sent crashing onto the pavement. Your hands and knees had taken the brunt of the fall, and were subsequently scraped up to the point of bleeding.

When you looked up from your bleeding palms to see if whoever had pushed you had the decency to stay and check if you were alright, you didn't find anyone, and you couldn't catch sight of anyone who looked as if they were fleeing the scene.

The situation was made worse when you saw that of all the others on the sidewalk were actively ignoring you. They wouldn't look at you, and for the ones that found you in the middle of their path, they would walk around you and go on their way.

That had been a depressing moment: you were clearly in need of at least some assistance and no one around you felt inclined to even acknowledge what had just happened.

That was when he showed up.

Chrollo seemed to appear out of nowhere and offered a hand to help you back up to your feet. He kept a firm but gentle grip on you as he looked over where your injuries were worst before he asked if you would let him help you.

Still in slight shock over the situation and being unable to properly use your words, you nodded.

Twenty minutes after that you sitting on a bench in a park while Chrollo applied the disinfectant he'd gotten at a nearby convenience store to your wounds before placing the bandages.

By that point you were feeling better, even after dealing with the painful sting of the disinfectant and the ache in your arms and legs. You wanted to repay the man who had been the only one to care about what happened to you. While he'd refused reimbursement for what he'd spent on disinfectant and bandages, he agreed when you proposed that you pay him back by getting him something to eat.

Ten minutes after that the two were sitting at a table at that same cafe, chatting over the desserts you'd be paying for. You remembered how grateful you felt. If not for him stopping to help you, your entire day would've likely ended on a sour note with you patching yourself up on your own and trying to distract yourself by watching a comfort film. Instead you were out at a cafe with a handsome man who had proven himself to be extremely kind and generous, and when he'd asked you to give him your number so he could keep in contact with you, you were more than happy to do so.

It didn't take long after that for Chrollo to become your boyfriend.

Evidently the way you met was also on Chrollo's mind, as he then said “We've come here a lot, haven't we? Ever since our first date that night.”

“Wasn't so much of a date as it was me trying to get over what happened after I got knocked down,” you mumbled.

He smiled as he said “I thought it was in repayment for my helping you.”

“Well, yeah,” you began, “you were really nice to me, and I wanted to do something nice for you back.”

“And I'm glad you did. We might not be here right now if not for that.”

“Yeah....”

The way you trailed off was a mistake, as you watched Chrollo's eyebrows furrow in concern. You tried to wave away his concerns before he could voice them, however, saying “sorry, just feeling tired.”

It didn't seem like you had been too successful, as he was serious when he spoke again.

“You should get some rest when you get home, then.”

You nodded while saying “I will.”

Just then the waitress from earlier approached the table with your orders, setting them down as she told you to enjoy. You both thanked her, and she walked off while you focused on the dessert in front of you. Despite hoping that Chrollo would be right and that you'd feel a bit better, the dessert didn't do much to ease your nerves. And what began to disturb you was the fact that every time you glanced up at Chrollo, he would glance up immediately after and catch your gaze. You tried to play it off by smiling at him, but you felt the muscles in your cheeks becoming more and more strained.

He wasn't stupid. He'd caught onto the fact that there was something wrong with you. Lying about it would only make it worse when you eventually told him.

Chrollo wasn't stupid, but you sure felt like it in that moment.

Not long after the waitress brought the bill out to you, placing it on the table while telling you to take your time. When she was out of earshot, he spoke.

“Is it really just the weather that's bothering you, love?”

You looked up at him and found that you couldn't read his expression again.

“This entire time you've looked as though you've been wanting to say something to me,” he continued.

…. Best to say it now, you supposed.

Placing the half-eaten parfait to the side, you took in a few breaths to try and compose yourself.

“Yeah, you're right,” you began, “there is something I need to talk about.”

He didn't reply, evidently waiting for you to speak.

You quickly glanced up at him again and just as quickly glanced at your folded hands on the table.

Just say it. Just say it and get it over with.

I think we should break up

“I think we should break up.”

When the words finally left your lips, they were a bit more hushed than you'd intended, perhaps partially out of fear of saying them too loud and drawing unwanted attention to yourselves, and perhaps also because of how much saying them out loud scared you. You had no idea how he was going to react to that, and that uncertainty kept your gaze focused on your hands, too scared of what you might see if you looked back to him.

There was no reaction from him at first, and part of you wondered at first if he hadn't heard you. Yet the longer the moments passed with nothing being said and the more you felt his gaze boring into you, the more you felt certain that he had, in fact heard you. Perhaps he was taking the time to process it.

You still didn't want to look at him.

He didn't say anything at first, and for a moment all you heard was the chatter coming from the other patrons of the cafe. It sounded like the elderly couple were leaving as you heard the other waitress wish them a good rest of their day. The bell above the entrance rang out as the door was opened, and rang once more as it was shut.

Now all you heard was the waitress as she cleared up the table the couple had been sitting at and a distant rumbling of thunder from the outside.

You stayed quiet, figuring that the ball was in his court.

The first sign of a reaction from him came when he slid his plate to the side before resting his forearms on the table. From the edges of your vision, you saw the way he clasped his hands together. He was taking what you said seriously.

Then he spoke.

“I did get the sense that you wanted to discuss something important with me,” he began, “although I must admit that this wasn't what I was expecting.”

“I thought things were going well between us,” he added, “but there must be something wrong if you were unhappy with me and I failed to notice it.”

“I'm not unhappy with you,” you replied.

“Then why would you want to leave me?”

Just make it out like you're the one who's the problem, you told yourself again. Don't let him catch onto the fact that you know anything about what he's done.

“You didn't do anything wrong,” you said, “you've been wonderful, actually, and I've really loved the time we've spent together.”

“But I don't think that I'm really in the right place mentally to be in a relationship,” you continued, “I've got a lot to do with work and other obligations, and I really need to take some time to do some self-reflecting.”

“Self-reflecting on what?” he asked.

“General issues,” you answered.

Fuck. That felt like such a weak answer. Say something else.

“I'm also just not good enough for you.”

There was a pause before he repeated “not good enough?”

You nodded.

“In what way?”

You cleared your throat before saying “financially speaking, we aren't very well matched.”

“Why does that matter?”

“Because I don't want to leech off of you,” you said.

“You've never done that.”

“I feel like I have sometimes.”

He didn't immediately respond, but you got the sense that he wasn't satisfied with that line of reasoning. You needed to say something else.

“Plus, I'm really not smart at all when compared to you,” you added, “I don't always understand the things you talk about, and make you clarify yourself a lot just so I can get it. You shouldn't need to dumb yourself down for my sake.”

“When has that happened?”

“Just.... Every now and then, you know?”

“I don't.”

…. You didn't know what to say to that. It was becoming obvious that drawing this out was only exposing what little reason you actually had to be leaving him as your answers were becoming more ridiculous. And you still couldn't bring yourself to look at him, too worried that if you saw the way he was looking over you, you would crack.

Just keep blaming yourself and tell him that he can do better than you.

It wasn't like that part was a lie

Ignoring that bit of self-loathing that came up to the surface, you told yourself to press on. Find something that would be an acceptable reason for him.

Before you could do that, he spoke again.

“If it's simply insecurities of yours that are the only reasons you have, then those are things that can be worked on, and I would be happy to help you get through those issues. I don't see why we need to end everything when there's a much happier solution,” he said.

“You shouldn't need to deal with my issues, though,” you replied.

“Why not?”

“You deserve better than that. You'd be better matched with someone who isn't so much of a mess.”

“And like I said,” you continued, “I really need to work on myself on my own, and I don't want to drag you with me through that process. Or make you wait for me.”

“So you're telling me to move on?” he asked.

“I'm not telling you to do anything. I'm just saying you're wasting your time with someone like me.”

“You need to stop saying that, love. Being with you isn't a waste of time.”

His voice had a stern edge to it when he said that. As if you were beginning to upset him.

“Sorry,” you began, “and that's really sweet, but I think it's for the best if we go our separate ways.”

“And if I disagree?”

“..... I'm sorry, Chrollo. But I've made up my mind,” you told him, “I don't want to hurt you, but you can't force me to stay with you, just like I can't force you to stay with me.”

You reached to the side to grab your bag and fish out your wallet, saying “lunch is on me. It's the least I can do.”

He didn't say anything. And after you placed the jenny on the table to pay for the meal, you didn't say anything either.

You're almost out of this, you told yourself. Just get your things together and leave.

You were putting your wallet back in your bag when he spoke again.

“Is there a reason why you won't look at me?”

His question made you pause.

It made sense that he would ask, though. Since telling him that you wanted to break up, you hadn't looked at him once, instead keeping your gaze on either your hands or what was left of your parfait.

A normal person who wanted to break up wouldn't be so adamant on not looking at their now ex-boyfriend, would they? Not unless they were mad about something. And since your reasons had all been to do with how you were a mess and not good enough for him, it would be strange to keep that up, especially if your goal was to leave him without making him upset with you.

Look at him, apologize, and then leave.

And whatever images pop up in your mind when you see his face again, be sure to ignore them.

Taking a small breath that you hoped he didn't notice, you looked over to him.

There was an unhappy expression on his face, his lips set in a frown while his eyebrows were wrinkled over his eyes, conveying the feeling that he was sad and didn't understand your reasoning for leaving him.

You might've believed that was what he actually felt if it wasn't for the way his eyes studied you in that moment, watching your facial expressions closely to pinpoint something that would give away that what you were saying wasn't true, if there was something more that you were attempting to hide from him.

There had always been a certain intensity to his gaze, even from before when you felt good about the two of you being together. In the beginning it had made you nervous, the way it felt he could look right through you, but you had gotten used to it, chalking it up to Chrollo giving you his full attention.

You saw something different now when he looked at you.

You turned your head away, mumbled out one last “I'm sorry” and then placed your hand on the table as you prepared to leave.

“Just answer me one last question before you go, love,” said Chrollo.

“.... Okay.”

Almost there. Just answer his question and then you could leave.

“Are you sure you're leaving me because you feel that you're inadequate?”

He paused.

“Or is it because you found out about the Phantom Troupe?”

…..

Hearing him say those two words made you freeze. You didn't know how long exactly, but you stayed in your seat for a few seconds, staring at the floor of the cafe while your mind processed his words. He knew that you knew.

He knew that you knew.

Get out.

Now

With one hand on the table and another on the back of the seat, you were about to push yourself up-

He stopped you from standing as his hand clamped onto your forearm, keeping you where you were with a firm grip that refused to let go.

“You aren't leaving, love,” Chrollo whispered, “not yet.”

“Let go of me,” you replied.

You tried to pull your arm away, but his grip stayed strong.

“Stay seated and talk to me,” he said, “if you make too much of a scene, you might attract attention. That's what you've been trying to avoid, isn't it?”

Upon hearing that, you looked about the cafe. Neither of the waitresses could be seen, which must've meant that they were in the back. But they could come out at any moment, and if they did notice something wrong going on between the two of you, you feared they might involve themselves.

The thoughts you'd had regarding the waitress and the knife from earlier came back to mind, and you shuddered.

You wouldn't be able to live with yourself if you caused Chrollo to do something to them.

“.... Okay,” you said, “okay. We can talk. But could you let go of me?”

“No.”

“I won't try to run again, I promise.”

“I wish I could believe you, love,” said Chrollo, “but unfortunately, you aren't proving to be very trustworthy at the moment.”

“Chrollo,” you began, trying to pull your arm away again and still getting nowhere with it, “Chrollo, you're hurting me.”

“It only hurts because of how hard you're struggling. Stop trying to pull away and the pain will stop,” he answered calmly.

“I want you to let go of me,” you said.

He didn't respond to that, and after a few more unsuccessful attempts to get your arm away from his grip, you felt yourself becoming desperate.

“Chrollo, please-”

Upon hearing that, he shook his head.

“Being polite about it isn't going to help you much right now,” he said, “if you really wanted to prove that you'd cooperate, you would stop struggling.”

… He was right that struggling like this was pointless, you realized. And as much as you didn't want him touching you, doing what he wanted was more likely to lead to a solution where you didn't end up dead. Tell him that you had no intentions of going to the police and that you wanted to forget everything.

You stopped trying to tear your arm away and instead sat quietly. Maybe the show of submission would have him let go of you.

Instead of that, his hand slid down from your forearm and grasped at your wrist. That looked less strange, probably. Like he was holding you affectionately instead of keeping you from leaving.

He got straight to the point, asking “how did you find out?”

“... Does it really matter?” you asked back.

He hummed.

“I assume someone told you, then,” he said.

“I didn't say that.”

“No, but it felt as though you were trying to protect someone,” he replied. Then after a moment he added “and it seems I was correct since you became even more tense when I said that.”

….. You hated how easily he was able to figure it out. And you hated how easily you had given up that information, even if it was unwittingly.

“Who was it?” asked Chrollo.

You shook your head. That was something you wouldn't be telling him. And when that became clear to him, he shrugged.

“The answer to that can come at another time,” he said, “though I have to assume it was someone important to you if it was that easy for you to believe them and not even ask me for my side.”

“.... I saw a video of you,” you whispered.

His eyebrows raised slightly.

“And what sort of video was that?”

“One where you sliced a man's neck open.”

He didn't seem to be phased by what you had said. He didn't push you any further on that, and merely hummed to himself again as he finally understood why all of this had happened.

Someone had shown you proof of his true nature.

Chrollo didn't push you any further on what you'd seen; it didn't seem to interest him.

But you remembered it clearly, sitting on the couch in your apartment, holding the phone that your friend had handed to you after calling you up and telling you that they needed to show you something important. They were standing over you, watching your reactions as you looked at the footage on their phone that they'd managed to get a hold of. It had come from a contact of theirs, they told you, but they wouldn't elaborate further.

You couldn't believe what you were seeing; Chrollo, who had always been so kind and caring towards you, approached what appeared to be a security guard in a hall who was distracted by his phone.

Then he had crept up behind the guard and sliced his throat with a curved blade.

And as he let go of the guard and watched as he fell to the floor, the camera that had been mounted on the side of the hall was close enough that you were able to see Chrollo's expression clearly, and it was best described as being disinterested. What he had just done was of no consequence to him.

But the truth was that the murder wasn't the worst part of the video.

It was what came after.

That neutral expression changed when you heard a voice come from off-camera, a cheerful voice that called out to Chrollo and caught his attention. Whoever had spoken didn't appear in the video, but you heard them as they made a joke about the dead guard, something in regards to him having his phone out on the job. What it was that had been said exactly you couldn't remember. But you did remember Chrollo's reaction to it.

He smiled as he let out a short laugh. It was a sight you'd seen before during the times that you'd amused him and was usually followed up by an affectionate pat to the head. Something you had grown fond of.

Now you saw that same smile at a murder scene.

Chrollo had just killed a man, and he was laughing about it.

Your world came crashing down and you could barely hear your friend telling you the details of what they called the Phantom Troupe and the things they had done as you were too focused on the fact that for the past eight months you'd been dating a murderer. Someone that didn't bat an eye at killing innocent people, and you'd been getting to the point where you were fantasizing about the possibility of living the rest of your life with him.

And that image of him in the video stayed in your head.

It would've been easier to deal with if he'd remained emotionless the whole time. That way you could've rationalized it in a different way; that everything you'd experienced with him was all a lie, any reaction you'd gotten out of him wasn't genuine and that he wasn't a person who felt anything, that he just used a facade to act like a normal person and all you were to him was a way to build upon that lie. That he'd picked you because he rightly assumed that it'd be easy to entrance you with the mask he wore so you would play the role he wanted.

What you had seen when he laughed was a genuine reaction. No matter what you tried to tell yourself, he had no reason to fake an emotion like that when he was around someone who was a participant in his crimes.

As quiet and reserved as Chrollo was, it wasn't as though he didn't have emotions. They were somewhat muted at times, but they were there.

And he had laughed at what his friend had said while a man lay dead or dying at his feet.

It was made worse when you thought of the happy moments that you had spent together. And even worse still was that moment from earlier, when he'd grabbed your hand and smiled at you and caused your heart to flutter.

How was Chrollo able to commit something as horrendous as murder and still be able to love you so freely? Even now, when he was literally holding you down so you couldn't get away from him, his thumb began to rub circles against your skin as if to calm you, and somehow it didn't feel like it was an act.

How could he do that?

“No wonder you've been so nervous today,” he said, “you must be terrified of me.”

Seeing no reason to lie, you nodded.

At that, he pulled your hand up from the table and brought it up to his mouth so he could place a soft kiss upon your clenched fingers.

It was a weird mixture of emotions again. Despite knowing that he was a murderer, you found that your mind was going back to happier times that you'd spent with him. Like the time you'd had a bad day at work and he showed up at your apartment after to cheer you up by making you dinner, or the time you'd happened to find a rare book at a pawn shop that you had heard him talking about and surprised him with it. Things that had you feeling like you were growing closer to each other.

You weren't lying when you'd said that you loved the time you'd spent together.

But you couldn't bring yourself to stay with a murderer.

“I was told that you – you've killed a lot of people,” you began, “I don't understand why you would do that when you've always been so good to me. I wouldn't have believed it if I wasn't shown proof.”

Chrollo was still holding your hand, but when no response came from him, you continued.

“I don't want to cause you any trouble,” you said to him, “I don't have any plans to talk to the police or anything – I don't even have the video, so it's not like I'd have proof even if I did go to them. It'd be my word against yours, and I'm pretty sure they'd believe you over me. So it'd be for the best if we both forgot about each oth-”

His grip on your wrist became tight enough that it hurt, and you were cut off as you let out a small squeak of pain.

The instant you made that noise his grip lessened, and he went back to caressing your skin. There was no acknowledgment of what just happened, however, as he appeared to be deep in thought.

Outside the weather finally broke and small droplets of rain were starting to come down against the windows of the cafe. It wasn't too bad now, but it seemed likely that the storm would become worse before long.

When the waitress returned to the table for the payment you had hastily left out for her, she didn't notice anything amiss with you. Likely because Chrollo distracted her by engaging in more conversation.

She returned to the back not long after, and then he spoke again.

“You've been rather cruel today, love.”

“.... Cruel?” you asked.

“Bringing me to this place with the intention of dumping me despite the times we spent with each other here,” Chrollo explained, “as if you wanted to ruin the memories that came from here.”

“That – it wasn't – I wasn't trying to do that,” you stuttered, “I just thought.... Maybe things would be okay if we spent one last nice day together and ended everything on a happy note.”

He wasted no time in responding to that.

“Are you saying that because you genuinely wanted me to be happy, or were you trying to ensure that I wouldn't retaliate against you after?”

…..

There was no doubt that your expression upon hearing that question told him everything. That, coupled with how clammy your hand felt while still being gripped by his gave him every answer he needed:

You were just trying to save your own skin.

After a few more moments of silence, Chrollo spoke.

“I think it's time we were leaving, love.”

With that, he finally let go, standing after exiting the booth before immediately holding his hand out to you once again. And as you once again had very little choice in what to do, you took it, allowing him to help you to your feet.

You left the cafe with your hand in his, the bell above the door ringing above you as you ventured out into the rain. Chrollo turned to the right upon exiting the building and began to lead you over to where he had parked his car.

So he was going to drive off with you, and then......

“.... What happens now?” you asked, “what are you going to do to me?”

“Keep an eye on you, for the most part,” Chrollo answered, “suffice it to say you won't be going out anytime soon.”

“What.... What do you mean?”

“Don't start believing your own lies, love,” he said, “ you know exactly what I mean.”

“But.... What about my job? They'll notice if I stop going in for work,” you replied.

“You'll be quitting.”

“So then.... You're going to make me stay with you?”

“It was about time we moved to that stage anyway,” said Chrollo.

“No,” you answered, shaking your head as you said “I can't do that. Please Chrollo, just let me go.”

“I told you earlier, love,” he said as he led you to the car, “changing your tone and being polite isn't going to do much for you.”

“But-”

He interrupted you to ask “you said the video you saw was one where I slit a man's throat?”

While hesitant, you still nodded.

“And you want to argue with me after seeing that?” he continued.

It dawned on you what he was getting at, and your voice was a whisper when you asked “so you really are going to kill me?”

“Of course not, love. You dying has never been an option,” he said.

“But I can't say the same for whoever showed you that video.”

It clicked then.

“I'm – I'm not going to tell you,” you said.

“It doesn't matter much if you won't tell me; I'll find out regardless,” Chrollo answered, “but depending on your actions right now, I might be willing to show mercy on them.”

“..... You mean you won't hurt them?”

He nodded.

“But that all depends on what you do now,” he said, “and whether or not you get into the car willingly or if I need to force you inside.”

With that, he opened the passenger's side door for you and after turning his attention back to you, he finally let go of your wrist. You instinctively held your hand up against your chest, partially from the relief that came when he finally stopped touching you, and partially so he couldn't grab you as easily again. At least, not by your wrist, anyway. Chrollo could easily still grab you by the shoulder and force you into the car, and you were anticipating that would be what happened next.

Except he didn't do anything. And when you looked to him while he still held the car door open, he didn't say anything to you; he only continued to look at you expectantly.

…. Ah. Right. He'd just said it.

You getting in willingly meant you getting in on your own.

Him letting you go like that was probably a test, you noted. If you were going to try and take advantage of the fact that he'd let you go and try to run, or if you really were going to cooperate with him. It'd also tell him how much you really cared about the friend that you wanted to protect.

As much as you found yourself wanting to run, you doubt you'd get far at all if you tried it.

So you climbed into the car just as the rain began to come down harder.

Chrollo shut the door after you.

Moments later he was in the driver's seat, buckling his seat belt before starting up the engine. He then looked over to you, and after a moment he reached over you to grab the seat belt to your side and secure you to the seat as well.

“.... Sorry,” you mumbled.

“You don't need to apologize, love,” he said, “though a 'thank you' would have been sufficient.”

“.... Thank you.”

He didn't respond as the car was pulling out of the space and onto the road. With the turns he took on the next few streets, you could tell that he was taking you back with him to his apartment. Just like he'd said. Where you wouldn't be allowed out for a time. Just like he'd said.

And as for your friend......

…. While you'd done as he'd wanted and got into the car on your own, it had taken you a little bit to actually do that.

Was that enough reason for him to kill them?

You cleared your throat in an effort to make sure the words came out as clear as they could.

“I'm sorry,” you said.

“For what?”

“For being..... Cruel to you,” you answered.

He hummed.

“I don't know how much I believe that, love,” he said, “it seems more likely you're only saying that as a way to try and appease me.”

….. There was no point in arguing, and you hung your head while biting your lip as you wondered if you'd just made a horrible mistake in saying anything else to him.

The car came to a stop at a light, and it was then that you felt his hand grasp yours once again. When he pulled your arm towards him, you didn't resist and allowed him to do what he wanted. Then his lips came into contact with your skin once more before he spoke.

“It's alright, love,” he told you, “we can get through this.”

“And with a little bit of time, I'm sure we can get to the point where you can apologize and actually mean it.”

You looked to him then, your eyes meeting his as he still held your hand to his lips.

And when you made eye contact, Chrollo simply smiled and kissed your hand once more.

#reader insert #chrollo x reader #yandere chrollo #yandere #yandere hunter x hunter #yandere x reader #chrollo lucilfer #yandere hxh

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h4venpha · 1 month

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i think i find comfort in vashwood because of their unwillingness to say outloud how they care and love for one another. like CANONLY, theres so, so much they dont say, yet their actions reflect everything.

i’m pretty sure i’ve spoke on this before but i like to think that they never say more than they need to because of the world they live in, the type of people they are, the type of upbringings theyve had. it all stems back to them not really feeling worthy of the love they are offered.

wolfwood who only thinks of himself as some fucked up modified killing machine and that he believes theres no chance someone as kind hearted as vash would see the good in him, or what little there is left of the good in him. he’s done nothing but kill, he could never redeem himself, and yet vash isn’t scared nor shuns him for it even with his pacifistic ideals.

vash who has seen the brutal truth of wolfwood’s being and still decides he loves him to the very end.

vash who doesnt believe he deserves any ounce of love or commitment because he only hurts those he gets close to. it’s happened before and itll happen again, like hes a walking time bomb and everything will blow up again and the people close to him will die no matter what he does. and wolfwood who canonly sticks beside him until the end! literally calls himself his guide.

vash who has never had true companionship in his 150 years of living, and wolfwood who follows him to the ends of gunsmoke.

just up until vol10, theyre still toeing the line of the relationship theyve created. but the exact moment vash shows up and chooses to prioritize wolfwood over going after knives (the fucking thing he’s been working towards since the big fall, over a hundred years ago) is the moment he steps past that line. its so extremely open and explicit, even wolfwood asks him ‘why are you here?”

while what he says here is true yes, it also sounds like “you cannot die, i’m here to ‘save’ you because i want to live.”

then to this when wolfwood knows and accepts he will die— the sheer HORROR on vash’s face when he realizes wolfwood wont allow him to save him.

few pages ahead, vash’s monologue starts and these old panels come up. “deep down, he had become very close to me.” basically implying that back then, during the ‘shoot’ moment, they weren’t really close. and when vash accused him: “you’re the coward here.”, “you give up all hope so easily”, it was almost surface level in a way? talking to him at surface level

but now, so many chapters later when wolfwood really does give up hope, vash, with all of his developed love through out the story realizes how differently he feels now. wolfwood made him put a fucking gun to his head (giving up hope), and vash who only scolded and accused him, vs vol10 where when wolfwood gives up hope, vash feels straight terror, that he’s really going to lose him. (also the inverted panel is just so gorgeous.)

the whole “isnt that right, wolfwood?” just proves my entire point that vash’s presence here in this fight steps over the line of vulnerability they had created. he knows how he feels, and he knows that wolfwood feels the same, even if hes speaking to him indirectly.

#im just rambling #okay #i dont know where i was going. w it #no fics u only get vashwood rambles sodrry #vashwood #vashwood angst #trigun maximum #trigun maximum wolfwood #trigun maximum vash #vash the stampede #nicholas d. wolfwood #vash angst #wolfwood angst #h4venpha

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louloulemons-posts · 8 months

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I don't know if your requests are open, if not ignore this! But what about Eddie asking reader out at school, but his friends are laughing not so far away so they think it's a joke. They get really upset cause they liked Eddie and it ends up fluffy at the end!

Different Kind Of Chemistry

Eddie X Fem!Reader

Summary : Eddie asks reader out, but it doesn’t go as he planned.

Word Count : 1k

Warnings : Not proofread, 3am writing (again - i’m sorry), toothrotting fluff, minor angst, petnames, miscommunication, stupid teenage boys lmao, minor sad reader, cute mom, supportive hellfire besties.

A/N : Guys we hit 400 followers! Thank you all so much for the love and support it means so much to me, I can never thank you enough 🤍

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

You’d always been the quieter type, keeping to a small and close group of friends. You weren’t cruel to others though, always kind. It made you known, but never popular. People liked you it was that simple.

You had your faults, you didn’t actively make friends, they had to come to you. That was your shyness taking over at times. The newest person trying to break through that was Eddie Munson.

Sitting down in your seat, you pull out your textbook and notes. “Hey Sweetheart,” a voice spoke, you looked up to meet a pair of brown eyes. “Hi Eddie, how are you?”

“Great, but how couldn’t I be? I get to sit next to the most beautiful girl for a whole hour!” he grinned, sliding into his own seat next to you. Rolling your eyes you couldn’t speak again as your teacher stood.

“Settle down, we’re doing some recapping on Organic Chemistry today. Chapter 15,” she said to you, turning to the board behind her to write some things.

Flicking open your book and notes, Eddie spoke again, “Hey Sweetheart.” You slid the book in between you, “Need a pen?”

He nodded and took the one from your hand, “You’re really my favourite person ever.”

“Yeah yeah, whatever you say Munson.”

You couldn’t help but feel your cheeks warm.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

Swapping some books between your locker, you shut it behind you and headed out of the school. “Sweetheart!” a voice called from behind you.

Pausing in your place, you turned to find Eddie jogging towards you. “Hey,” he said, once he was in front of you. “Hi, what’s up?” you asked.

“Oh … I um, I wanted to ask you something, if you have a minute?” he spoke. You heard some voices from behind him, his Hellfire friends.

“Yeah go for it,” you smiled, trying to focus on him. You could hear his friends whispering and sniggering from across the hall. “I was just wondering if maybe, and feel free to say no, if maybe you’d want to go on a date some time?”

“Go on Eds!” One of the boys spoke from behind him, making the others cackle. Eddie waved his hand as to shush them, but was unable to hide his own smile.

How could they be so mean? This was something you’d imagine Jason Carver and his friends did, not Eddie.

“Why are you being so cruel?” you asked.

“Sweetheart wha-” you didn’t let him finish. “You think it’s funny? To ask girls out? Embarrass them? I thought we were friends,” you scolded him, eyes watering.

“No, no you’ve got the wrong idea,” he tried to explained, but you were gone. Turning around and pushing through the door. “Shit,” he said to himself.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

“Woah man what happened?” Gareth asked. “I just blew my only chance with her,” Eddie spoke, rubbing his face with his palm.

“What do you mean?” Jeff questioned.

“She thought I was kidding.”

“We didn’t mean to make it come across that way man,” Gareth spoke.

“I know, but she didn’t. God, I messed up.”

Dustin tried to comfort him next, “Don’t worry man, we’ll fix this!”

“How?”

“Romantic gesture?”

“Oh yeah cause all of us have so much romantic knowledge.”

“Hey me and Mike have girlfriends!”

“She’s not like them,” Eddie wined.

“We’ll fix this man, let’s make plan,” Jeff offered, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

Lay on your bed you sighed for the millionth time in the past minute. How could he be so cruel to you? What was the point of being your friend? Was it a bet?

You sat up, suddenly furious, were you a bet? How much were you worth? $15? $10? $1? You screamed in frustration.

“Honey! There’s someone here for you!”

“Coming!” You sighed, pushing yourself up off the bed and stomping your way out of your room.

“Have fun,” your mom said winking at you, walking past. You scrunched your brows in confusion, who could be here? Pulling the door open you were surprised who was stood there.

“Hi Sweetheart-“ you grabbed his hand and dragged him away from door. Stopping in front of his van, you inhaled deeply, “I pulled you away from the door because I don’t want my mom to see me mad.”

You inhaled again and then snapped, “What are you doing here? Embarrassing me in front of your friends isn’t enough?”

“Hey, first of all I’m sorry okay, but I’d love to explain if you’d let me.”

You hummed, nodding your head stiffly. “These are for you,” he said, handing you a bouquet. “Tulips,” you said softly.

“You said about them being your favourites, since you went to Amsterdam.” It’d been a passing comment, your Chem teacher had had a bouquet on her desk.

“You remembered?”

“I remember a lot of things you say. Anyways, I’m really sorry about my friends they were just teasing me. They didn’t mean to embarrass you.”

“Right.”

“They know how much I like you and have not let me live down how much I’ve been pining over you.”

“I see.”

“Yeah, they walk me to Chem when they can, just so they can tease me from the door.”

“Oh,” you said gently.

“I’m really sorry we embarrassed you, we’re idiots. But I really hope I haven’t messed up completely, Sweetheart would you maybe considering going out on a date with me?”

“I’d love to.”

“I get if you don’t want to- What?”

“I’d really love to go on a date with you Eddie.”

He couldn’t contain his grin, which you matched. “Cool,” he said.

“Cool.”

“Well um … I’ll call you about it.”

“Great,” you said, standing on your tiptoes, pressing your lips to his cheek.

“Goodnight Eddie.”

“N-night Sweetheart.” You walked up your path and to the door, turning round you waved to him. He raised his own hand, seeming a bit stunned.

“So, he’s cute,” your mom said.

“Mom! Were you snooping?”

“Me? No! Pretty flowers honey,” she kissed your forehead and walked away smiling.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

A/N : Thank you for requesting! I hope you enjoyed it 🤍

Also I had another request and have had to leave it, I don’t really feel qualified to write about topics (eg SA) as I don’t feel like I have enough understanding and experience with it to write about it in a sensitive and proper way.

Thank you so much for reading! Please leave any requests 🤍

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slttygeto · 1 year

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first time meeting them! (part 2)

synopsis: what type of person were you?

featuring: arisu ryohei, chishiya shuntaro.

warning: none.

note: leave some ideas in the ask box for me to read:)

—you can find part one here.

—arisu ryohei

arisu abruptly sat up when he realized that his shirt was gone. what happened when he was passed out? he only remembers a girl around his age approach him before everything was blurry again.

“dont panic, i’m only washing your shirt because it looks like it needs it.” his eyes went from the food next to him to your sitting figure on the little bed across from him.

it looked like you were in an abandoned studio apartment, something about your choice in where to hide made him think that you weren’t the type to settle for the bare minimum just because you were in a life or death situation.

“you saved me,”

“you were still breathing,” good point, yet not good enough to convince him that his life was worth being saved, especially not after the last game.

“i could be a horrible person for all you know.”

“then I guess i’ll have to find out the hard way, hm?” the little smile on your face made him nervous and he had to swallow hard before looking away from your lips.

“but something about you tells me you’re not exactly a bad person.” standing up from the bed, you slowly made your way towards him.

“you could be wrong,” arisu retorted weakly, eyes looking anywhere but at your incredibly close body.

“what if i’m not?” he honestly thought you were going to kiss him when you leaned down, yet next thing he knew you were sniffing him. he immediately felt his face heat up and tried to pull away from you.

“what the fuck-“

“you smell like blood and plants, were you in a botanic garden during your last game?”

how did you even-

“why do you ask.” he didn’t want to remember the details of what happened, especially not since the image of karube’s head exploding in front of him were still engraved in the back of his head.

“alright, my bad.” arisu was silently scolding himself for wishing you had stayed longer being that close to his body, but who could blame him? all the stress from the games and having to survive made him a little bit horny.

“my name is (name) by the way,”

“arisu, arisu ryohei.”

—chishiya shuntaro

right after hatter’s announcement, everyone around you seemed to be giving you more importance and it pissed off niragi to no end. there was nothing special about you, not to his knowledge at least.

chishiya on the other hand knew that despite hatter’s recklessness, he wouldn’t choose a random person to be an executive member.

so he kept an eye on you, silently observing the way you always kept to yourself, only spoke when spoken to and didn’t flinch when aguni and his minions walked past you. he wondered if you knew how to defend yourself or if it was just an act.

“what was the last game you participated in before coming here?” chishiya let kuina do the job of talking to you. he wasn’t really the best at introductions and never bothered with people so having an extroverted friend like kuina made the process of getting to know you much easier.

“a heart game.” chishiya’s ears perked up at your response and he was immediately leaning away from the wall to stare directly at you.

“you don’t look like you’d survive a heart game”

“chishiya!” kuina scolded the male for being so straightforward but he could only stare at her with boredom painting his features.

“I get that a lot, but it gives me some sort of advantage, don’t you think?” your reply accompanied with a tilt of your lips made chishiya mirror your actions, his hands going into his pockets before he slowly walked towards you.

“lots of advantage. no one would suspect that such an innocent face wouldn’t hesitate to shed some blood for their own victory.”

kuina’s lips parted and closed several times at the scene unfolding before her. you two were obviously flirting with each other, no?

“am I interrupting-“

“i’ll head back to my room. see you guys later.” the pair watched your retreating form with opposing expressions ; kuina pouting at the fact that you were leaving so soon while chishiya could only smirk while eyeing you like a cat watching a mouse.

this was getting interesting.

2023 © all works belong to slttygeto. do not repost my work anywhere else.

#moon's works #alice in borderland #alice in borderland smut #alice in borderland x reader #arisu x reader #arisu ryohei #chishiya x reader #chishiya shuntaro #chishiya x fem!reader #aib chishiya #chishiya fic #aib arisu

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idyllic-ghost · 8 months

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Title: The Royal Gambit

Pairing: prince!Joshua x princess!reader

Warnings: smut, head (f and m receiving), exhibitionism, corruption kink, degradation, praise, impreg kink, p in v action, general filthiness. angst, arguments

Genre: angst, fluff, smut, royalty au, romance

Synopsis: Marriage should be a beautiful union between two lovers, but you did not love Prince Hong and he clearly did not love you. Everything you did, you did for your kingdoms - except when you started meeting him in quiet corners of the castle to take out your frustrations on each other. However, would this relationship be enough to hold together a marriage which your countries depended on?

Rating: 18+

A/N: idk why but all of my royalty au's turn out being super long! i really loved writing this, so i hope it'll be appreciated. also!!! i would be lying if i said i wasn't very influenced and inspired by @heartkyeom 's "be sweet", so please go read that and give it some love (it's an amazingly good hoshi fic!!!!) and thank you to @strawberryya for reading through my drafts and making sure everything made sense!

Word count: 17.7k

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A gasp escaped your lips as you stumbled forward on the slippery floor. Heat spread across your cheeks as you stared down at the black-and-white checkered ground. Everyone’s eyes were on you, and it was most certainly not because of your beautiful dress. You weren’t sure how you ended up tripping, but you had managed to fall over thin air onto the dance floor. You kept your gaze down, not wanting to look at anyone else, and unsure of what to do you decided to stand frozen. Behind you was a wall of people, towering over you like some sort of evil entity. You surely couldn’t push yourself through them to hide - that’d be even more embarrassing. In front of you was a large open floor, couples standing evenly spread out and moving across the black-and-white marble floor like perfect chess pieces. They knew exactly where to go, and exactly what to do. You weren’t good at dancing and, more importantly, you didn’t have a partner. Tears started burning in your eyes, to think that the first ball you go to in this new place would go so horribly. Your nails dug into the palms of your hand through the thin fabric of your gloves. Not a second later, someone grabbed your arm and led you further out on the dance floor.

“There you are. Sorry, I’m late.” The man spoke loud enough for others to hear and led you toward the center of the floor.

You stared at him with wide eyes, unsure of how to act. He was gorgeous; a warm smile, with equally warm brown eyes, and broad shoulders - where one of your hands now laid upon.

“Act natural, okay?” he whispered.

One of his hands was on your waist, high enough to be tasteful, and his other hand held yours. The music reached your ears, as you were finally calm enough to register it. A waltz. Surely you knew how to waltz. Still, you found yourself praying that your legs wouldn’t betray you. Your knees were already shaky, and your feet were tired from standing all evening. The dark-haired stranger moved you across the floor, while you were looking at your feet and counting your steps. His hand moved to your chin and angled your face toward him.

“Look at me,” he said and repeated, “Make it seem natural.”

His hand returned to your waist. Without him holding your shin in place, it was hard to not let it drop again. Staring into his eyes felt like torture - a wave of overwhelming emotions hit you, the biggest one being embarrassment but confusion was a close second.

“Why are you helping me?” you whispered.

“I can’t simply leave a lady in distress to her own defenses.” He flashed a smile.

You didn’t like the way he talked about you, but you couldn’t complain when he had just helped you escape from utter embarrassment. Besides, a handsome man sweet-talking you was an ideal way to spend your night. It wasn’t as if you were going to spend more time with him after this.

“Well, thank you,” you murmured.

The two of you kept conversing in this modest manner; about the art on the walls, and the sound of the music. Futile things. Small talk. You never even learned his name, but it didn’t matter to you. When you said goodbye, he bowed down to you before escaping into the crowd. You were sure you were never going to see him again.

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You found yourself in the neighboring kingdom Ceadrotia to be sold off. At least, that’s how you saw it. The lands here were prosperous, the soil was perfect, and their harvest was always impressive. However, they lacked in their economic department. You can only win so much from a good harvest, especially when your financial system is practically nonexistent. That’s why you found yourself within Ceadrotia’s palace walls. You were the Princess of the Xaevia kingdom, sworn off to the Prince of the neighboring lands. It was a decision made to get more allies and to support Ceadrotia in their time of need. Your kingdom would give them economic growth and stability. In return, you would get better harvests and the safety of one of the biggest armies on the continent. Nothing could you do to stop this arrangement, and neither could the Prince. His Majesty Prince Hong was known to be a gentleman, but would often play this act in order to win something for himself. He was an altruistic man with egotistical goals. It wasn’t necessarily women that he wanted, for he always treated them with respect, but you had heard tales of the many mistakes no ordinary man could get out of. He was sly, and proud of it too.

After the ball last night, a supposed welcoming ball in your kingdom’s honor, you had made your mind up about him. For Prince Hong had never shown up. He hadn’t greeted you like he was supposed to, which gave you no chance to meet the man before the engagement was to be finalized. Now you’re sitting in the drawing room with the Prince’s mother, discussing meaningless matters over tea, while waiting for your father to finish talking with King Hong. So when your father entered the room with a much younger man behind his trail, you were surprised. If this were to be the King, then how young was the Prince?

“Ah, good! You’re already settled,” your father exclaimed, “Y/N, dearest, I’d like you to meet Prince Hong.”

The young man stepped into the light, and you saw that it was the man from the night before. He looked just as sharp as last night, although now his hair was hanging in front of his face instead of being slicked back. He recognized you, you could see it in his eyes, but he said nothing.

“I thought you were doing business with the King,” you said, without greeting or so much as looking at the Prince.

“Y/N-”

“My father can’t exactly sign any binding documents when he is lying on his deathbed, can he?” the Prince snapped back in a calm manner.

He was ice cold, but he kept up a professional mask.

“Joshua, honey, she couldn’t possibly know,” the Queen said before giving you an apologetic look.

“I apologize if I may have caused any offense,” you said in an irritated tone, “But your Highness must understand that I take the matter of my own marriage quite seriously, and I want it to be handled correctly.”

Prince Hong looked at you with disdain, unlike the way he had looked at you last night during the ball. However, you didn’t move your gaze from his no matter the glimmer of hate in his eyes. He clearly didn’t wish for this marriage either.

“There will be an official engagement in front of the public,” your father interrupted, “It will be held in a week, meaning that you’ll spend this time working on your… attitudes towards each other.”

“And I’ll get you a chambermaid, Princess, as we have discussed,” your future mother-in-law added.

In all of this chaos, it was nice to know that at least your mother-in-law would be pleasant company. The honeymoon days would certainly be a pain since you wouldn’t be able to have her, or anyone else to talk to, around. You thanked her with a warm smile, but it fell as soon as Prince Hong started talking again.

“We will make arrangements for you to get a new dress for the official engagement,” he said nonchalantly, “And I’ll need your finger measurements for the jeweler.”

“For a man who can’t even show up to greet your future wife properly, you sure do make a lot of demands.” You stand up. “I shall take a tour of the palace. I assume you’re too busy to make time for me, so I’ll take a maid.”

Prince Hong was visually taken aback by your blunt nature. He was clearly not prepared for this sort of conversation. Perhaps he was too used to everyone agreeing with him. You were certainly not going to be one of those people - you were set on hating Prince Hong.

Nevertheless, Prince Hong showed you around the castle despite your assumptions about him. Never-ending hallways, with tall ceilings, and the most sublime architecture. You could stare at it for hours if it wasn’t for Prince Hong who insisted on hastily making his way through each room. When he reached the library you had to practically beg him to stop. Large wooden shelves reached all the way up the walls.

“How do you ever leave this room?” you asked.

“When you have other duties it’s easy to forget these things.” He kept on walking, although a little slower than before.

You walk past a set-up chessboard, which seems to be doing nothing but gathering dust. Ignoring his comment and his seeming need to get out of the library, you stopped and sat down.

“Do you play, Your Highness?”

The maid who was chaperoning the two of you hid her giggle behind her hand. Joshua looked at you, somewhat amused but still clearly annoyed. Prince Hong sat down in front of you.

“I was taught the art of a good chess match at a very young age,” he bragged, “I had a chess master for a teacher, and my classes only ended once I could manage to win against him.”

“You talk big, Your Highness-”

“Would you stop it with the formalities?”

“Just play, Prince Hong.” You move your first piece. “Knight to F3. Your turn.”

The prince moves his knight to F6, mirroring your movements. You end up taking out his queen far too early on, with your bishop out of all pieces. He was clearly rusty, and you found it hard to not chuckle at him. When you finally got his king into a corner, you couldn’t hold back your victorious laugh at his disappointed expression.

“Seems you’re rusty, Your Highness,” you teased.

He stood up and smoothed out his suit, then held out his hand to you. Even though the gesture was kind, the bitter look on his face said otherwise. However, you stood up and shook his hand.

“We’ll have to schedule a rematch.” He cleared his throat.

“We shall.” You smiled. “I’d like to see the garden now.”

You took the lead and started walking out of the library, your hands locked behind you and your chin lifted high with pride.

Toward the end of the day, when the sun was closing in on the horizon, dinner was served in the grand dining hall. After the chess game, you hadn’t spoken much to Joshua at all. You had followed him around and ogled at the architecture of the palace, but he hadn’t spoken another word to you. Dinner was no different. Joshua barely acknowledged you, which you were pleased with. If he was half the man he was during the other evening, you wouldn’t mind marrying him. However, his attitude towards this arrangement was clear - and it was not a positive one.

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It hadn’t fully settled in that you would be marrying this man - this stranger. That realization came later during the night. While it had been fun to put this man in his place, it was not something you wished to do for the rest of your life. Together with a man who had no feelings for you whatsoever, and who you didn’t care for at all either. Your bed was large and cold. Lonely. You were beginning to feel homesick and you felt so incredibly small in this huge room. Tears began flooding in your eyes as you thought back to your childhood room, the one that you shared with your siblings. It was always filled with warmth and quiet giggles, as well as hushed, silly arguments. You used to be annoyed with your family at times, but now there were no other people that you wanted by your side. The first night of your stay in your future home, you cried yourself to sleep.

That night you dreamt of walking along a corridor in the castle, slowly being chased by people you knew - your family, servants, and, worst of all, Prince Hong. The marble floors seemed to move under you because you could never get to the door at the end of the hall. Behind you, the people pursuing you were shouting. They were shouting at you to come back, to stop - any commands they could think of, really. You could hear Prince Hong mocking you, and it was tempting to turn back to slap him. However, you couldn’t - you had to get to that door. In hindsight, it wasn’t a truly terrifying dream - but it had you waking up in a sweat. You rang the bell by your bed and asked for a cold bath, anything to wake you up.

Your bathroom, which was connected to your room with only a door between, was decorated with gold from the ceiling down to the floor. There was no time for you to appreciate it the night before, but now you were gawking at all of the details. A maid helped you undress and held a towel for you while you stepped into your bath. It was cold, as you had ordered, but you didn’t realize how cold that would be. You almost bit your tongue from just dipping your toe into it, but you still sat down. With a shaky breath in, you dipped your head under the water. You sat there for a few seconds and breathed out bubbles in the water. As soon as your head appeared again, the maid held up the towel for you. You stepped out of the tub and let her wrap you up in the fluffy towel. After thanking her, she left you to your own devices - saying something about breakfast almost being ready, and that she’d get you a proper dress for it. You walked over to the vanity mirror and sat down in front of it. There were a number of delicate boxes on the table for you to use, none of which you were very familiar with. You picked up a lotion and turned it around in your hand.

“Interesting,” you hummed as you opened the lid.

The lotion was velvety to the touch, rich in feeling but had no smell. It was important to not wear anything too fragrant, as your mother had told you before you went on this journey. If a woman were to wear too much perfume, she’d be classified as a harlot. You were unsure of why it was so bad to be a prostitute, as whenever you brought up the subject you’d be rejected immediately. You had the answer to pretty much anything you wanted, but anything sensual in nature was dismissed. It was for your future husband to teach you. Your thoughts were brought back to the task at hand, as you smeared the lotion across your face. Not too much, never too much, as your mother had also taught you. Once the lotion was applied you picked up a hairbrush. You would wait for your maid to help you put it up, but you could brush it yourself. The door opened.

“I have a dress for you, your highness,” your maid said.

“Thank you. I shall put it on now,” you said while looking at her through the mirror. “Would you help me with my hair?”

The maid helped you get ready for your breakfast. You were nervous. It was common for the Queen to eat breakfast in bed, as any married woman would, and neither your father nor the King of Ceadrotia would be present. All of this meant that you’d be alone with the Prince. If he showed up at all.

“May I put rouge on your cheeks, Miss?” your maid asked.

“Rouge?”

“It’s a mixture of strawberries and herbs, used on the cheeks for an innocent glow,” she explained. “I’m sure that the Prince would adore it.”

You scoffed, but let her proceed with putting the product on the apples of your cheeks. You felt slightly ridiculous. Before this, you hadn’t been out in society yet. This meant that you never had to worry about these treatments, and now they were all being thrown at you at once.

“I put some perfume on the sleeves of your dress as well, Miss,” the maid said when she finished your hair, “Violets, it’s a favorite amongst the women of the court.”

You only hummed. Preparing yourself for this might take more than you expected.

You walked down the hall, your heels clicking against the hard floors. Your maid followed closely behind, showing you which way to go. When the doors to the dining room opened, you were met with lonely chairs. This was worse than having the Prince here, you thought as you sat down.

“Has no one called upon the Prince?” your maid hissed at one of the servants behind you.

“He wasn’t in bed this morning,” he responded in a hushed tone.

“Leave him be,” you said loudly, “I’m sure he had better things to do than to have breakfast with his future wife.”

As you ate alone, you thought about your future here. You looked around at the decorating. Would you be in charge of such things? Despite how much your mother had explained to you, you were unsure of certain details of your role as the Prince’s wife and Lady of the castle. Someone prepared a plate for you. Was this hospitality or was it the way things worked in Ceadrotia? Would you never have a say in any decisions? You thought back to your father, who would always ask his eldest daughter for advice on his decisions - until it came to your hand in marriage. He hadn’t been able to look you in the eye, and his expression exuded shame. But it had to be done. An alliance through marriage is an alliance that’ll last forever. You stabbed the cut-up fruit with your small two-pronged fork. The memory of your father giving you the news of your arranged marriage, as if there was nothing you could do to stop it, filled you with a fit of familiar anger. Breakfast that morning was finished in haste, and you left as fast as you could.

You wandered around the castle, the passing staff watching you closely. You were trying to find the library again but had managed to get lost. There was not a world where you would think to ask for help. So you wandered, pretending you knew exactly where you were going. As you approached a pair of doors, two servants immediately opened them for you. It was a room that you had yet seen. Prince Hong had seemingly forgotten. Inside this room, light-flooded freely. The windows were large, and the curtains were open. The walls were filled with paintings, and across the floor, there were statues of the finest marble. Exquisite forms, perfectly posed in front of you. Naked bodies are exposed for you to gaze upon. You wonder if this is what Prince Hong looked like underneath his robes, although you quickly shook this thought away. As you wandered around the room you came upon a door, which a servant stopped you from opening.

“This is the Prince’s office,” he said.

“... is he in there now?” you asked.

“He is, but-”

“Let me in.”

The servant reluctantly opened the door for you, and you stepped inside. Prince Hong yelled something about being occupied. You fidgeted with your gloves, but kept walking into the room.

“I said-” Prince Hong stopped speaking when he saw you. “You.”

“Me,” you said.

“Why are you here? I’ve told everyone to keep you out of this room.” The Prince spoke as if you could not hear him, as if he had no care for what you thought of him.

“Do you really despise me that much?”

“No-,” he blubbered, “I don’t-... this is my sanctuary. I’m alone here.”

“You don’t despise me?”

“Why should I? You have given me no reason to.” He stood up from his chair and walked over to you. “I just don’t want to marry you.”

“And yet you signed the papers,” you huffed.

He was close to you now. It had been fine when he had sat behind his mahogany desk, but when he towered over you it made you feel nervous.

“I signed the papers, not because I am madly in love with you,” he said sternly, “But because my kingdom is in need. My father is ill, I must bring hope back to my people somehow. An alliance with the Xaevia kingdom is what they need, and it is what I will give them.”

You stared at the necklace, the Ceadrotian emblem lying against his chest. A raven with an arrow in its claws. The Prince cleared his throat, and you looked back up to his eyes. He was smiling, proud of making you tremble.

“I want some ground rules,” you said suddenly.

“Rules?”

“Yes, rules.” You took a deep breath. “I want you to have breakfast with me in the mornings.”

“Can’t do,” he said, “I go on my morning rides when you have breakfast.”

“You will have breakfast with me, and we’ll socialize together. If I’m going to marry, then we’ll have to be on speaking terms,” you explained, “I am not asking you to love me, or even like me, but you should at least speak with me.”

“I’ll speak with you.” He said, but when he saw your face he quickly added, “And have breakfast with you.”

“Good.”

“Great.”

He smiled again, and you swore you could hear a faint chuckle.

“Why are you so different?” you asked quietly.

“Different from what?”

“From when we danced,” you said, “You were so… kind.”

“Because you needed it,” he said.

You were taken aback by his words. Needed him? You scoffed in his face and turned your back to him, walking towards the door.

“Get this through your head,” you said as you stopped by his door, “I don’t need you. You need me, your kingdom needs me.”

Prince Hong said nothing as you slammed the door behind you.

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The days went on. You and the Prince spoke on civil terms, but never alone. Someone was always there, which kept the hatred at bay. You learned that the Prince enjoyed art, as well as a good sport and that he tended to keep to himself in his office or in his chambers. His mother seemed delighted that you had brought him out of his shell a bit more. Apparently, the Prince only went out if there was a party he could attend. Your welcoming ball must have not been good enough for him to make an official appearance. Despite your complaints about the Prince, he was starting to grow on you. It was refreshing to talk to him, especially when you got to win your small arguments. Breakfast had turned into frequent debates.

“Why shouldn’t I call you that? It’s your title!” you exclaimed.

The two of you had begun talking over breakfast when he suddenly got tired of being called by his title. You saw an opportunity to tease him and you took it.

“I don’t think it's suitable that you call me Prince when we’re going to get married,” he said.

“Ah, but we’re not married yet.” You grinned, “So, therefore, I should continue calling you Prince Hong.”

“What would it take for you to just call me Joshua?” The Prince sighed.

You picked around your plate with your fork, humming to yourself as you thought. Prince Hong was staring at you intently, his gaze practically burning through you.

“A miracle,” you proposed, looking back down at your plate.

“Then that’s going to have to be another rule,” he said.

“Oh, no, no, no…” You shook your head. “That only benefits you. The rules have to be for the both of us.”

Ever since your first rule, the two of you had started making more. There was your rule of socializing. Then, he decided to make a rule that you had to go with him to look over the horses. You agreed to this, it fits with your socialization rule. This back and forth went on, but you only agreed to rules that would do something for the both of you.

“In the end, it would benefit you too, no?” he asked. “Being seen calling me by my name would fall in line with your social thing.”

“Well… sure,” you said, “But you’re doing this to tease me with it later.”

Prince Hong rolled his eyes and sat back in his chair. You enjoyed this kind of banter, it made you forget about all of the rude comments he’d throw your way. It made it all seem okay, even though you were about to marry a man who you didn’t care for one bit.

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Your nightmares had continued, each night was the same. You woke up in a cold sweat and had to take a bath in the morning. However, you learned from your mistakes. Now, you asked them to make your water lukewarm instead of ice cold. Your stress was never-ending, and the closer you got to this engagement to be official the more your stress grew. This wasn’t what you wanted, but what could you do?

A few days before the engagement was to be announced, you woke up once again. This time, it was still dark outside. You didn’t want to call for a maid, it seemed rude to wake them from their sleep yet another night. Instead, you decided to take a walk in the garden for some fresh air. You got out of bed and put on a pair of shoes. Your nightgown was made of thin material, and you decided to wrap yourself up in a scarf before you sneaked out.

The air was thick tonight, warm and humid. It was probably going to rain soon, but you’d just be a minute. You looked past each corner before walking through the halls. It wasn’t difficult to sneak around the shadows of the castle late at night. There were a few guards around, but it just meant that you had to take a longer route. Somehow, you made it out to the garden. Feeling the fresh air against your skin, not just from an open window, was relieving. Maybe you should’ve done this earlier, maybe it can cure your nightmares. It certainly felt like it could. You took off your shoes and put your feet in the grass. It tickled, but it made you feel grounded. You went over to the fountain and shook off your scarf to sit on it. Feeling the cool water grace your fingertips made you smile. This was exactly what you needed. Which is why you weren’t upset when it started raining. You welcomed it with open arms and laughed out loud for the first time in days when the thunder sounded over the skies.

“What are you doing out here?” Prince Hong’s voice echoed out over the garden.

He didn’t startle you. In fact, his presence only made you feel more joyful - someone else could share your happiness for the simple things.

“Planning my escape!” you said with a laugh.

You didn’t have to look at him to tell that he was amused by your delightful mood. However, when you did turn to him he didn’t meet your gaze. Maybe it was a trick of the light, but you thought you could see his ears burn red. You looked down to see your nightgown completely drenched, the thin fabric having become sheer. The dress clung to your form, leaving nothing to the imagination of the man standing in front of you; the curve of your hips, the mound of your breast - everything was on display. You gasped and tried to cover yourself up with your scarf, but the thunder and lightning started you and you dropped the fabric in the fountain.

“Please, have my coat”, Prince Hong said.

You watched him shrug off his coat. His eyes were still not meeting yours, they were pointed straight to the ground. Be that as it may, you were staring right at him. Wearing nothing but an undershirt, you watched as his skin peeked through wherever the raindrops hit the white fabric. Something bubbled up in your stomach when you watched him as he put his coat around your shoulders.

“Thank you,” you said with a shaky breath.

You were staring at that pendant hanging on his chest again. The raven with the arrow in its claw. It glimmered as the lightning struck again. For some reason, the thunder and lightning that you had embraced before, now startled you. You threw yourself towards the Prince, pushing your hands against his chest. Prince Hong put his hands on your waist, keeping you in place. The two of you stood there for a moment, not moving an inch. When the lightning struck again, you let go of each other. The Prince grabbed your hand and started leading you inside.

Prince Hong led you into the parlor, there was a fire lit, and chairs pulled up around it. He sat you down in front of the fire and then got on his knees to feed more wood to the flames. You watched his drenched back work as he moved his upper body. His body wasn’t far from what the sculptures outside his office looked like. When he stood up you shifted your gaze to your hands. Your bare hands. He had held your hands without any gloves. From the new knowledge, your hands started burning and you felt your face go warm as well. Prince Hong picked up a blanket and put it in your lap, then grabbed another one to wrap around his shoulders - much to your disappointment.

“Thank you,” you murmured.

He brushed it off, settling down in his own chair. You wondered if he must have sat here before. The many books and papers littered across the table beside him told you that he had attempted to move his office here. You hid your naked hands under the blanket, suddenly feeling insecure. The Prince was watching you.

“Why were you out there?” he asked.

“Nightmares,” you said quietly, “I thought that if I couldn’t sleep, I could take a walk.”

“In the rain?”

“It wasn’t raining when I went out.” You sighed. “Besides, you’re one to talk. Why have you decided to move your entire office into the parlor?”

“Late night work, there’s a lot of paperwork I had to take over when my father fell ill,” he said, “Which is truly none of your business.”

“As your future wife I am-”

“But you’re not my wife yet,” he said with a smug look on his face, referring to your argument about his title a few days ago.

You sighed and leaned back, having nothing else to say to him. When you looked around, your eyes met a wooden checkered box. In between plush pillows and beautiful, carefully crafted, decorations, you found a wooden box that caught your attention.

“Do you want a rematch, your highness?”

The two of you were giggling, spilling your drinks on the wood while you played. The Prince had stored away a bottle of liquor and, despite your years of training to be a proper lady, you were drinking out of the bottle.

“Are you too drunk to see what a giant mistake you just made?” You giggled as you took the Prince’s bishop.

“Maybe I just wanted to be nice to you,” he said as he took the bottle from your hand.

His hand brushed against yours and you felt a giggle bubble up your throat, which you hid with a cough.

“You? Nice?” You scoffed and tried to brush off how good his touch made you feel.

Prince Hong put his lips to the bottle and drank the last of it, which you loudly protested. He only laughed it off, and seeing him chortle made you burst out as well. After he moved another piece, you put the man in check mate. You looked at him with a suspicious glance.

“You let me win,” you mumbled.

“What if I did?” He wore a beautiful loopy smile.

“Did you let me win the other time too?”

“Sadly, no.” The Prince sighed. “But I couldn’t resist this time… you get a sparkle in your eye when you win something. It’s endearing.”

Endearing. Your voice failed you when you tried to open your mouth to speak. You shut your mouth and looked down at your hands for another time. He was being genuinely nice to you. Or was this like the time at the ball? Was he just pretending to keep up an image? Except there weren’t any people here to see him. Just you. All alone with him. No chaperone, no one around for miles it seemed like; no one had come to check on the noise you were making, no one had seen you in the garden, and there was no one to disturb this moment. It all hit you at once. Looking at the Prince, he seemed to have realized as well.

“Are you feeling alright?” he asked. “You look a bit cold.”

Prince Hong made his way around the small table and kneeled down in front of you. His hand pushed against your forehead as he looked up at you. His pupils were dilated, his lips slightly parted- they were flushed red and shimmering from a residue of alcohol.

“Prince H-”

“Please, my Princess…” he begged in a sinful whisper.

“... Joshua.” You took his hand in yours and brought it down from your forehead. “I’m alright.”

You held his hand in yours and pressed it against your cheek. Joshua’s other hand fell on your knee - it made you shiver. Suddenly he looked so desperate. Your eyebrows pinched and you looked down, right where his tongue darted out to wet his lips. His hand inched closer up your thigh, making your breath hitch in your throat. Every touch made something ignite in you, but you couldn’t put it into words. You had never felt this before.

“We shouldn’t…” You brought your hands to his face.

“I don’t know what you mean, Princess.” He moved closer to you. “Am I doing something wrong?”

“... I don’t know,” you whispered.

His lips were inches from yours, and you were the one to close the distance. Your eyes fluttered shut as you felt his soft lips against yours. As you leaned toward him, his arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you towards him. Joshua moved back as you moved down from the couch and onto his lap, your legs on either side of his hips. The kiss deepended, his tongue swiping against your bottom lip. You had no idea what you were doing, you just followed his lead. His calloused hands gripped your hips. Over the material of your thin nightgown, you could feel the roughness of his palms. And when his hands lightly encouraged your hips to move over his, you did. It was unlike anything you had ever felt before. The rough fabric of his pants against your core had you moaning against his lips. You pulled away from him, surprised with yourself, but you didn’t stop moving.

“Joshua…” you panted, “Why does this feel so good?”

Joshua stopped dead in his tracks. He looked at you with wide eyes, as if he had been caught doing something he shouldn’t be. With his strong hands, he stopped you from moving. You whined and protested, but you couldn’t move.

“You’ve never-” He cleared his throat. “Y/N, I don’t think we should be doing this. Not now.”

“No, please, it was good-”

“That doesn’t matter, dearest.” He brushed his thumb against your cheek. “If you’ve never done this before, I don’t want this to be the first time.”

“Please, Joshua,” you begged and clawed at his shirt, “I’ve never felt like this before.”

“Then you can wait for me, can’t you sweetheart?” he hummed, “I’m going to make you feel like this again, I promise. Just as long as you keep saying my name like that.”

You’d repeat his name over and over again if it meant that he’d continue whatever it was that he was doing to you. However, you could tell he was being serious. He helped you back up and wrapped you up in his coat again.

“I’ll make sure that no one’s outside, wait here for me.”

“Okay,” you murmured.

“Good girl,” he said and left your side.

That morning you woke up sweaty again - this time, however, it was not from a nightmare. You dreamt about the Prince touching you like he had the night before, and you felt something wet pooling between your legs. It was not time for your monthly bleeding yet, so the sensation confused you. You reached down under the covers and cupped your heat over your underwear, trying to remake what he had done to you the night before. It didn’t feel as good as his hips had, but the friction did help to dull the racing thoughts in your head. Moving your hand became difficult, so you began moving your hips over your palm instead. As you began humping your hand, the doors swung open.

“Good morning, Princess!” your chambermaid said happily.

You swore under your breath before greeting her, your secret act quickly hidden away but never forgotten.

Prince Hong did not show up for breakfast. You were furious, to say the least. After asking one of the servants, you found out that your future husband was in his office. So that’s where you went next. Your heels clicked against the floor as you strutted impatiently toward his office. Walking into the art room was way more flustering than it was before. Every statue of a male figure reminded you of Joshua’s wet shirt and his hands against your hips and on your thighs. You turned around to your servants with a flustered face.

“Leave us!”

They all left the room, and you stormed into the Prince’s office. He looked up from his papers, shocked by your sudden entrance. You walked up to your desk and slammed your hand onto the wood.

“What did you do to me?” you hissed.

“Sorry?” The Prince grinned, and you wanted to slap that smile right off his face.

“It feels like my entire body is on fire, you did something to me last night,” you huffed. “What did you do?”

“I apologize, but I-”

“I need you to do it again, Joshua,” you pleaded.

When he heard his name, Prince Hong’s eyes lit up. He stood up from his chair and walked over to the door, looking back at you from time to time. Your breath hitched in your throat as you heard him turn the key in the lock. In a matter of seconds, he was in front of you again. His hands hovered over your hips and, despite towering over you, you weren’t intimidated.

“Do you realize what it would mean?” he asked. “This is something that you’d do with your husband.”

“You are my husband-”

“Future husband.” He interrupted you. “This can be very sacred for a woman like you, I want you to be sure of your actions.”

“Do you not want this, your highness?” You looked down at his lips, and looked back up to his eyes.

“I’ve been wanting to ravage you since I saw you in that ballroom,” he admitted. “Containing my desire has been torture. You have no idea what you have done to me, and you have no idea how much of my energy it takes to loathe you.”

“Let me relieve you, then.” You put your hands on his chest. “I need you to show me how to get rid of this feeling. I don’t care about rules right now. Please.”

Joshua pushed you up on his desk, helping you pull up your dress in the process. You were glad that you weren’t wearing heavy fabrics or many layers today. If you had, you wouldn’t have felt his rough hands travel up your thighs or the cold feeling of the wooden table against your skin. Something that felt so good couldn’t be wrong - and his lips on yours was the most angelic sensation you had ever gotten the pleasure of experiencing. Joshua’s hands urged your legs to wrap around his waist. When you did, he lifted you up and carried you over to a chaise lounge in the corner of the room. He sat down and made you straddle him, just like you had last night. As you began grinding on his lap, Joshua smiled against your lips and wrapped his arms around you.

“You’re so eager,” he said with a chuckle. “Don’t you want to slow down?”

“I don’t think you understand how bad I need this. I’m putting aside my pride for this, your highness.” You grinned as you ran your hands across his chest. “I just need you to do whatever you did before.”

“But there’s better things to do-”

You put your pointer finger on his lips and hushed him, making him smile. A part of you still wanted control, even though he was clearly the one with the most knowledge. So you decided what you’d do and when you’d do it, he just had to show you how.

“Show me later, okay?”

He nodded before connecting his lips to yours again. Joshua’s hands gripped your hips, just as he had the night before, and he started moving you over his crotch. You moaned into the kiss. Finally getting what you had been needing the past few hours, you let go of all of your tension. Without you noticing, Joshua had removed his hands and your hips were now moving on your own.

“Such a good girl, aren’t you Princess? Moving all on your own.” His hands gently grabbed at the delicate fabric of your dress. “What a fast learner, I bet I can teach you to do things you can’t even imagine right now.”

You moaned at his words and the feeling of something hardening in his trousers. If you had been in the right state of mind you would’ve died from embarrassment, but something about this made your brain foggy and you couldn’t care less about consequences right now. He began kissing down your jaw, leaving sloppy marks on your skin.

“You like feeling dirty, baby?” He grinned against your skin. “If I knew you’d be like this, I would’ve tried something sooner.”

Your movements grew sloppy, and Joshua put his hands back on your hips. Both of your noises bounced around his office, and the lewd scene of it all made your head spin. Joshua gripped you harder, his fingertips surely leaving marks on your skin. When your head fell onto his shoulder, he chuckled and loosened his grip ever so slightly.

“Tired already, honey?”

“I feel like I’m going to explode…” you stuttered out.

“Good, baby. Means you’re about to cum,” he panted, “You can cum for me, right? It’ll make you feel so good, Princess.”

“Yeah.” You gripped at his shoulders and nodded. “Gonna cum, ‘Shua…”

“Just let go for me, let it wash over you…” He began kissing your neck again.

Something snapped in your lower stomach, and you felt what you could only describe as fireworks going off inside you. Joshua kept moving his hips back and forth until he grunted and stuttered his hips. His arms wrapped around your waist, holding you close while you came down from your high.

“Are you alright, Princess?” Joshua’s hand was stroking your back in a calming manner.

You could only hum in response, your entire body had gone numb and you couldn’t find it in you to reply properly. His laugh rumbled through his chest, and you nuzzled your face closer to him at the feeling. Even though a part of you was screaming at yourself to get out now that the act was done, you couldn’t bring yourself to leave. Joshua shifted, letting you lay down with your back on the chaise lounge. He sat up, you whined from the loss of contact, and he helped you fix your dress to cover your legs again. When he sat beside you again, he had a strange look in his eyes.

“What?” You smiled and sat up.

“I didn’t think this could ever happen with someone like you,” he admitted.

“Someone like me?”

“You’re usually a lot more high strung,” he teased.

“Excuse you,” you scoffed. “I’m fun to be around- and you can’t deny that!”

“I’m not trying to say anything, Princess-”

“Don’t ‘Princess’ me! You know what?” You stood up from the couch, “This is the last time I’ll do anything like this with you.”

It was not the last time. Prince Hong taught you things about your own body that you didn’t know that you could do. The first time he ate you out, in a secluded corner of the library, you almost passed out from the sensation. Your hand had been clamped over your mouth, your legs shaking around his shoulders as he held you in place when he drew orgasm after orgasm from you. His hand appeared from under your skirt after what felt like hours, your juices dripping from his chin, and he had proudly commented on how “he won” your bet after looking at his watch.

Leading up to the announcement of your engagement, Prince Hong had taught you how to be, what he called, a good slut - a term which you both loved and hated. The day of the engagement announcement you were in his office again, this time under his desk. Your knees were probably bruised, but you didn’t care.

“You’re taking my cock so well, sweetheart,” Joshua hissed. “Who taught you to suck cock like a good little slut, hm?”

Your mouth let go of his cock with a pop, and you continued stroking it. In any other state of mind, you wouldn’t dignify him with a response, but you couldn’t help yourself when your brain was in a fog.

“You did, your Highness,” you moaned.

“Good girl.” Joshua ran his fingers through your hair and made you look him in the eye, instead of staring down his reddened cock. “Are you gonna let me cum in that pretty mouth of yours?”

You nodded excitedly and took his cock in your mouth again, trying to take it deeper and choking on his length. The bit that you couldn’t take with your mouth, you pumped with your fist. The Prince had yet to fuck you, and every day that passed made you wonder if you could actually take him. He was big and even though you hadn’t seen a cock before, it seemed like it wasn’t supposed to be this huge - especially considering how much just two of his fingers filled you up. Much to your dismay, there was a sudden knock at the door. Joshua pushed you under the desk which, thankfully, had a back to it so that the person walking through the door would be unaware of your presence.

“Come in,” the Prince said, making your eyes widen in horror.

You tap his knee, trying to get his attention, and tell him to not let another person in the room. Joshua completely ignored you, and only moved closer to the desk. The person came in and started discussing the engagement announcement with the Prince. You didn’t listen very intently, you were far too busy staring at Joshua’s, still hard, cock. His hands were on the table, unable to reach down and stop you without arousing suspicion. You took the chance at hand and wrapped your hand around his cock again. Joshua cleared his throat to cover a gasp. He kept on talking, so you took his head into your mouth again. Your tongue swirled around his tip before you started sucking him off again.

“Are you alright, sir?” the man on the other side of the desk asked.

“I’m just fine. I suppose it’s nerves.” The Prince managed to joke his suspicious behavior away, but he couldn’t continue like that forever.

You took his shaft as deep in your mouth as you could without making a sound. One of your hands stayed on his cock, but the other started massaging his balls. His cock twitched inside your mouth, and you knew he was close. The Prince cleared his throat again and asked abruptly to be left alone. When you heard the door open and, finally, close you let go of his cock again.

“Fucking slut,” he sighed and looked down to you. “Can’t keep off of my cock, can you?”

“You know I need my mouth filled if you want me to shut up, sir,” you responded with a sudden confidence.

Prince Hong was caught by surprise by your forwardness. A mixture of pride and fear swirled in his eyes as he looked upon his horny creation. You grabbed his shaft again and pumped it slowly, all while you were staring up at him with a smile.

“You can’t be mad at me for doing what I was taught, Prince Hong,” you said, “Especially not when I had such an eager teacher.”

Joshua swore under his breath as he watched you sucking him off. You kept eye contact, urging him to cum whenever he wanted - you would take it all for him. When he came, with a string of moans followed by dirty words, you didn’t swallow his seed immediately. Instead, you waited for him to look at you, and opened your mouth for him to see you before you swallowed. He reached out to touch you and graced his thumb across your cheek and you leaned into his touch.

“Fucking perfect,” he murmured.

“I win,” you whispered.

Joshua chuckled but didn’t try to deny it as he usually did. He didn’t even try to do anything to “discipline” you like he had tried before. He looked at you with a warm gaze, almost lovingly. Your victory, in making him cum, was trumped by his nearly romantic actions. What this meant was unknown to you.

Later that afternoon, you were preparing yourself for the announcement. You would stand in front of a crowd, beside your future husband while he held a short speech about the future alliance. Then you would speak to the people, talking about how welcomed you felt and how this would be an alliance to last. Your engagement was a symbol of hope, everything had to be perfect.

You were dressed in a traditional gown of your kingdom. It was blue, representing the oceans that surrounded your land and the peace that this alliance would bring. The Prince would, in a similar fashion, be wearing green - representing his kingdom’s many fields and forests. When you saw yourself in the mirror, you wondered if your parents would be proud of your sacrifice.

“Miss, are you ready for the ring?” your chambermaid asked.

You merely nodded and turned to her. The ring had a jewel the size of a pea, which matched the jewels in your crown. A part of you wished that Prince Hong could have given this to you himself. Would it be so horrible if he had just given the ring to you himself? He didn’t have to get down on one knee, but he could have made this more personal.

“You look beautiful,” the maid said.

“Thank you.” You gave her a kind smile, then turned back to the mirror.

There was no getting out of this now, this was the end of the road for your freedom. You told yourself you would learn to love the Prince, it wasn’t as if you didn’t enjoy his company from time to time. You put the ring on your gloved finger, the metal clashing against the white fabric of the glove.

Standing in front of hundreds of people, who were all there to see you, felt less nerve-wracking than you thought it would. You were standing on a stage beside the Prince. Your hands were strategically placed in front of you, one over the other, and making sure that the ring would show. A smile was plastered on your face as you listened to him talk. Your father and your future mother-in-law were standing behind you, also listening and smiling.

“And I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with this beautiful woman.” Joshua gestured to you with a charming smile. “She is truly a symbol of hope for this land, and she shall be cherished as one.”

The last comment made your smile falter slightly, but only for a second. That word, “symbol”, sat with you in a weird way. Nevertheless, your mind is filled with scenarios of what his cherishing would entail. The Prince continued talking, even though you could barely listen anymore. When it was your turn to speak, your hands were trembling. Prince Hong must have noticed this because his hand soon appeared on the small of your back in a comforting manner. You barely remember what you said, your mind was elsewhere while you were speaking. By the look on your father’s face, however, it seemed like you said the right things. When applause reached your ears, and Joshua’s gentle hand began pushing you, you knew to go back inside the castle.

“Good girl,” Joshua whispered in your ear, only loud enough for you to hear.

You felt your knees wobble and a warm feeling spreading in your lower stomach. His hand on your back was burning through the fabric of your dress, but you never wanted him to remove it.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

“Fuck, why did you have to do that to me when we’re in public?” you hissed as he pushed you against the wall of a closet.

His leg was shoved between yours, rubbing against your cunt. You were struggling with the fabric of your dress, pulling it up to give him more access.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Princess.” Joshua grinned.

When he began kissing down your neck, you wrapped your arms around his shoulders. Your hips were moving on their own across his thigh, while he kissed as far down your chest as your dress would let him. He had yet to see you completely naked yet, the closest he had gotten was seeing you in your nightgown.

“Why haven’t you fucked me properly yet?” The words came out of your mouth without warning.

“I have to save something for the honeymoon, dearest,” he joked and kneeled down in front of you, “Be grateful I’m giving you anything at all right now.”

“Screw you,” you gasped as he ripped off your underwear.

You watched with a slack jaw as he put your ripped panties in his pocket. Joshua kissed up your thigh, taking it and moving it to sit atop his shoulder. One of your hands rested in his hair, while the other tried to find a surface that you could stabilize yourself on. As he delved into your heat, you accidentally knocked something off a shelf but at least you found something to hold onto.

“You’re a piece of shit sometimes,” you breathed out.

“Careful, honey,” he tutted and began rubbing your clit with his fingers. “You’re forgetting who’s in charge of your orgasm.”

“I could do this myself, you know,” you huffed.

“Oh really?” Joshua sat back. “Why don’t you make yourself cum for me then? Prove me wrong.”

You ripped off one of your gloves, the one without the ring on, and slid down the wall to sit down. Suddenly aware of Joshua looking at you, your face flushed.

“Are you going to watch me?” you asked.

“What? It’s not like I haven’t seen you like this before.”

He had. Nevertheless, you felt that all of your time spent together had gone to waste. The time that you were supposed to practice for public appearances was spent with way more private situations in mind. Was this really what you wanted?

“Prince H-”

“Joshua.”

“Joshua,” you said and closed your legs, “I don’t mind this relationship- I prefer it… but shouldn’t we try to work on our public relationship?”

He paused and then shuffled to sit up straighter. As soon as you had said it, you regretted even opening your mouth. Joshua’s expression broke you. The sudden cold and analytical eyes were a harsh replacement for his previously mischievous but warm look.

“What do you want me to do?” he asked defensively.

“We’re officially engaged,” you stated, feeling like it was obvious enough to explain your needs.

“What did you think was going to change? That we’re magically going to fall in love because you wear a ring on your left hand?”

His words cut you deeper than you expected his words ever could. It was partly his tone, suddenly changed from his teasing and flirting to the person you met after the ball. You hated this side of him. However, his words hurt because they were somewhat true. You had started thinking that this new side of him was all there was to him, now that you had gotten to know him a little better. That was your first mistake. You stood up, wanting to put space in between you but you were stuck between him and the wall. He stood up as well.

“Is it wrong for me to want love?” You started feeling stinging in your eyes. “I never wanted you. Do you know what I wanted? I wanted to love and be loved in the comfort of my own kingdom. I’m only here for you, and you can’t even bring yourself to like me when you’re not fucking me!”

“I didn’t make this choice either!” he exclaimed, “You’re not here for me, you’re here for my kingdom-”

“I am not a ‘symbol of hope’!” you interrupted. “I’m not a symbol at all, I’m human- why do you never treat me like a person, Prince Hong?”

“As if you don’t do the same to me! Why can’t you see me past my title?”

“Fuck you!” you said, as you fell short on a reply to his counter argument.

The two of you stare at each other, chests heaving. Prince Hong suddenly lept toward you, taking your face in his hands and pressing his lips against yours. The kiss was rough and sloppy. A tear fell down your cheek, and you gave in for a second. For a second he was the man you loved, kissing you for no other reason than the fact that he was in love with you too. You quickly snapped out of that state of mind, pushing the Prince away from you and into the shelves beside you.

“I’m going back home!” you cried, “I’ll plan this stupid wedding from there- but you have to leave me alone until then!”

Prince Hong doesn’t say a thing as you leave.

The carriage that would take you to the nearest coast, where you would take a boat back to your kingdom, was ready for you about an hour after you requested it. It only took half an hour to pack your necessary things and tell your father of your sudden departure. He took it as you expected, with grace, and told you that he’d handle wedding things in Ceadrotia before joining you for a while. The wedding wouldn’t happen for a month, so you had time to relax at home before moving your entire life to another kingdom.

A bumpy carriage ride was not what you needed right now. The over one-hour-long ride was hell, but you’d rather be in hell than stay another minute in the castle of Ceadrotia. You didn’t want to face Prince Hong for a while - what he had said to you hurt, but a part of you also knew that you were in the wrong. A combination of anger and embarrassment flooded your chest and tears flooded your eyes.

Arriving at the coast was relieving, it was a promise of finally coming home. Xaevia was surrounded by the ocean, and water was of high cultural importance. Almost every home had its own big bath, and those who didn’t could go to the many public baths around the kingdom. Water is life, and in Xaevia it was taken very seriously. So your stay in Ceadrotia had been unusual from your normal life. It hadn’t necessarily been bad, but it had only made your homesickness worse.

As you watched your things get loaded onto the boat that would carry you home, you thought you heard someone calling your name. You looked towards the boat, thinking that maybe someone wanted to ask you something about where your luggage should be, but everyone was busy and not even looking your way.

“Princess!”

Both of your guards prepared themselves but quickly went back to their natural position when they saw who it was. Prince Hong was riding toward you, having followed you on horseback. You take your time processing his presence, which is enough time for him to jump off his horse and walk up to you. He was breathing heavily, and his eyes were determined.

“We should have the wedding in Xaevia,” he said abruptly, then paused as if he had forgotten all of his words. “And I’m sorry I didn’t realize your sacrifice for me sooner... if you’ll let me, I want to come with you to Xaevia and help you make the wedding that you desire.”

There was complete silence between you. If it weren’t for the ocean waves or the grunting of the men loading the luggage onto the boat, you could have heard a pin drop. The Prince looked to you for an answer, but you were unsure if you could give him a proper one. A wedding in your home country was what you wanted, but you weren’t sure if you were ready to forgive him just because of his sudden declaration. Joshua reached up and pressed his hand to his chest, right over his heart.

“I have promised my country a sufficient ruler.” He gripped the fabric of his shirt in desperation. “However, my affection and my devotion will always be with you first. I need you, Princess, and I apologize for hiding behind such a sorry excuse as I did. There is no one else that I could consider being my Queen. I need you there with me Y/N.”

There was no other sound, they had all been drowned out by your beating heart. You stared into Joshua’s desperate eyes. He longed for you, or at least he was willing to act like he did. A part of you still thought of him as deceitful, a devil with many tricks, but you set it aside for now. You took a deep breath and looked over to the ship. They were almost finished packing.

“We’re leaving now.” You looked back at him. “If you truly wish to come with me, you’ll have to leave with only the clothes on your back.”

“I don’t desire anything else than to stay by your side, Princess.”

“Good.”

The boat ride would take a day to complete and, since you had left so late in the day, you’d be arriving in the midst of the night. You were standing by the bow, looking towards where you were sailing. It was already dark, so there was not much to see, but you enjoyed the feeling of standing at the front of the ship. It wasn’t just the view; it was the feeling of the salty air, the sound of the ship plowing through the waves, and the slight rocking underneath your feet. Everything felt so natural to you.

“It’ll get cold soon, Princess.” You heard Joshua call out to you.

His footsteps echoed towards you, each step graceful as if in a waltz. He was a good dancer afterall. You felt the heavy fabric of a wool blanket wrap around your shoulders. One of his hands lingered there, and you put your hand on top of his before you turned to look at him.

“Thank you,” you murmured, “For everything.”

“It’s nothing. I want you to be happy,” he admitted. “Even if this isn’t exactly what you had in mind.”

“It’s certainly not,” you chuckled and turned back to look at the sea.

In the far distance, you could see lights, meaning that you were closing in on land. You let go of the Prince’s hand, which led him to let his hand slip off your shoulder.

“It’s enough,” you added. “This is enough for me.”

Prince Hong now stood beside you, looking toward the lights as well. When you looked at him, he reminded you of the many stories of beautiful mermaids and mermen you had been told as a child. Beautiful but devious, although helpful and even generous at times. His emblem of the raven gleamed in the moonlight.

“What does the raven mean? Is your kingdom not known for its soil?” you asked.

Joshua looked down at the emblem and held it in his hand. He inspected it as if it would give him the secrets to its definition, but it didn’t take him long before he answered.

“Many people see the raven as an evil omen. It means death in certain cultures. We associate it with its insight and wisdom. The raven is always there, watching over.” He turned the jewelry in his hand. “They’re said to travel between the world of the living and the dead- they’re our connection to the ones before us. Yes, we’re known for our crops- but I suppose this is our way of honoring our ancestors, of having them with us. We come from the soil, and we’ll go back to the soil when we die- it’s the raven’s job to tell our story.”

He looked at you with an embarrassed smile, clearly feeling like he had talked too much. His hands were perched on the railing of the ship, so you placed yours beside his.

“I think it’s a good way to honor tradition,” you said, “And maybe learn from past mistakes.”

He seemed more relieved now that you had shown your interest. His hand inched closer to yours. You looked up at him. This is the first conversation you had together without throwing petty insults or interrupting each other by pressing one’s lips onto the other’s.

“I hope to show you these kinds of things in my kingdom as well, if you’re up to it,” you said.

“I’d love to,” he smiled.

This was what it was like to try, and you wished you would’ve done it sooner.

The arrival was a blur of happy shouts from your family and many hugs. Prince Hong was slightly left behind, except for a simple “hello” and “welcome”. You were finally home again, and you couldn’t think of anything else. That night you slept well in your old bed, with no nightmares in sight.

As soon as it slipped that the wedding would be held in Xaevia and not in Ceadrotia, your entire family erupted in happy shouts and screeches. The planning began almost immediately, and word was sent out to the people of both kingdoms quicker than you could have imagined. The people of Xaevia cheered for the sudden change and, while there were people who were happy for you in Ceadrotia, not everyone took it as well in the Prince’s home country. It was to be expected, and you didn’t let that slow your wedding plans down.

The wedding was to be held in Xaevia’s royal palace, and your honeymoon would be spent in a castle on one of the islands surrounding the kingdom. With everything surrounding preparations for the wedding, and finally getting to be with your family again, you didn’t have much time to spend with the Prince. You saw him whenever you were working on the wedding together; you picked out the colors together, the flowers, et cetera - all of which surprised you as he didn’t seem like the type who would do this sort of thing. Nevertheless, he was surprisingly good at it.

As you were looking at the different flowers together, you finally got a moment alone. There were guards and servants around, but it was the most alone you had been together since you had gotten to Xaevia.

“You’re not too bad at this, your highness,” you said with a small smile.

“I enjoy beautiful things.” He had a flirty tone, and the look in his eye confirmed it. “You should know that by now.”

You chuckled but didn’t delve into that sort of conversation any further. You had made a conscious effort to not indulge yourself in flirtatious conversations with the Prince because of your earlier sexual pursuits. Even though you wouldn’t mind falling into the same routine, you didn’t want to risk an argument like you had before.

“I suggest the peonies- they’re supposed to mean romance and prosperity,” you said, avoiding the topic that the Prince had tried to bring up.

“Sure, but I-”

“Red roses are beautiful but seem a little cliché, and they’re difficult to take care of.”

“Yes, Princess, but I’d really like to talk about-”

“But I don’t,” you interrupted him again, “If we talk, we fight. So let’s not talk, Prince Hong. Just tell me what flowers you think we should have at our wedding.”

“... Hoary stock,” he pointed to the pink and long flowers, “Beauty that doesn’t fade with age.”

His tone was cold again, but not as cold as it had been during your argument in the closet. It was more of a disappointed tone than anything else. Nevertheless, he was right. The hoary stock would be nice, and you were sure that you could figure out a good bouquet to decorate the halls. The woman taking care of the flower arrangement came back, and you motioned to the peonies and the hoary stock. Now that you were finished you walked out of the room with Prince Hong, but you turned away from each other as soon as you got into the hallway.

The day of the wedding had arrived, and you were shaking from the nerves. That morning had been spent scrubbing you clean and pampering you to get ready for your big day. Maids had helped you put on your white dress and fix your hair. Everything had to be perfect, and you weren’t allowed to lift a finger. When you got out of your bathroom, you were met with a surprise. Your room had been filled with flowers, a supposed gift from the Prince. You were a white dot in the middle of a sea of red. Roses gave the room a pleasant smell, but sitting there alone with them made you feel lonely. The grand gestures were nice, and you were sure that the Prince would continue giving them - but that wasn’t enough for you. It was a marvelous act, but it only showed that he had the resources to do these kinds of things for you - not that he had put any feelings behind them. You felt selfish, but you tried to shake it off.

Since the wedding wasn’t being held in Ceadrotia, and the King was still alive, you wouldn’t be crowned Queen or sworn into your future kingdom. This ceremony was only meant to celebrate the alliance of two kingdoms and the marriage of two people. Still, it was to be held in Xaevia’s throne hall. It was a long, oval-shaped room that could fit around a hundred people - which would all be seated in rows in two lines, with the aisle in the middle of the two. At the end of the room were two thrones, both decorated with white gold and blue, and above them sat Xaevia’s emblem; two seahorses with their backs facing each other, and a sword between them.

“No peeking, Princess!” One of the maids giggled and pulled you back from the curtain.

People had settled in the throne room and, if you looked out to the window on the other side of this small room, the people outside were all waiting for an appearance from the newlywed. After the ceremony, you and the Prince would walk out onto a balcony and greet the people of Xaevia, as well as the people of Ceadrotia who had arrived for this special occasion.

“I’m sorry,” you said, “I’m just nervous.”

“It’s completely natural for you to be nervous.” Your mother walked into the room.

With a big smile, you lifted up your dress slightly and sprinted over to her the best you could. The two of you embraced, and she kissed your cheek. You felt yourself finally relax.

“You’re going to shine out there, darling,” she said as she let go of you.

“Thank you.” You smiled. “I’m just happy it could be held here.”

“Well, that Prince of yours is certainly generous. It’s more than anyone else would have done, especially with the backlash he might get from his own people,” she muttered. “But! Not for you to worry about now, darling!”

Your mother didn’t have the best way with words, but you decided to try to forget about the comment. Such things could be taken care of after this wedding.

“The Prince is about to walk down the aisle,” a maid said.

“Then that’s my cue to leave,” your mother said, “I’ll see you out there, darling.”

When your mother left your side, you prepared yourself by the curtains. Your father soon joined you, and you held his arm. The music started, and the Prince walked in. You could picture his charming smile and suave walk, and you shut your eyes tight at the thought of having to look at him while slowly walking down the aisle. When the curtains finally opened, and your flower girl had taken a few steps, you started walking arm-in-arm with your father. Your eyes were on the floor, but you knew it wasn’t proper so you forced yourself to look at your future husband. He was smiling. His formal suit was blue, which you thought was a nice touch, and he wore a crown in a similar fashion to yours. The most important thing to you, however, was the idyllic look in his eyes as he intently watched you walk down the aisle. Maybe it was your imagination, but you thought you saw tears in his eyes.

The song ended and you were standing in front of him. He held out his hands to you, and you placed your hands in his. They were still shaking, but when he started stroking his thumb over the back of your hand you calmed down a little.

“Dearly beloved.”

And the ceremony started.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

After the ceremony, greeting the people, and a short celebration, you and Joshua took a boat to the island where you’d spend your one-week honeymoon. It was where you spent a lot of your summers as a child. Stepping foot on the island again, seeing that it hadn’t really changed, was comforting.

“It’s beautiful,” Prince Hong commented.

“Just as I remember it,” you added.

He looked at you with a warm smile, which he had been wearing all day. The Prince seemed to be genuinely happy, and it calmed you down. Your shoulders relaxed, and you took a moment to breathe in the fresh air. As you walked up the stone steps to the castle, he held your hand to keep you steady.

The castle was up on a hill, looking over the ocean. It wasn’t far from the coast of Xaevia, and you could see the royal palace from the beach of the island. Even though the castle wasn’t very big, and the towers weren’t very tall, it was certainly enough for the two of you. The humble stone castle gave you a warm welcome, along with its staff. They congratulated you as soon as you made it through the door. You were lucky that you had changed into a simpler dress before stepping foot on the island, walking up so many steps in a big wedding gown would have been hell - and as you entered the castle, you saw even more steps.

“Where do you want to go, my Princess?” he asked, and now it was really true - you were his Princess.

“The sun’s about to set,” you said, “Maybe we could get settled and then I can finally get to show you one of the many baths in Xaevia.”

“Sounds like a plan to me.”

He lifted you off your feet in one swoop and began carrying you up the stairs. A squeak escaped your lips, followed by quiet giggles and snorts. Your hands gripped onto Joshua’s shoulders and you pressed yourself against him. You had no doubt that this man was strong and stable enough to carry you, but it was still nerve-wracking.

“... where are we going?” he whispered once he reached the top of the stairs.

“Over there,” you whispered back and pointed to where he should walk.

Joshua carried you like this all the way to your shared bedroom, with the help of your directions, and both of you giggled the entire way. It felt ridiculous to act like a married couple without having had a proper courting season, but both of you leaned into the absurdity of it.

Once Joshua had managed to open the door to the bedroom and walked in, he carefully threw you on the bed. You looked around and saw that your things had already been carried up to the room. The staff works fast. The rustling of Joshua taking off his coat brought your attention back to him. Before you could process anything, he was on top of you and pressing a soft kiss on your lips.

“Hi,” you said.

“Hi? Is that all you have to say to your husband?” he joked.

“Shouldn’t we go to the bath? The sun is about to set, I want you to see it with a view.”

“You’re all the view I need.” Joshua kissed you again, but you quickly pulled away.

“I’m serious, Joshua,” you chuckled.

You were bothered that he could so easily float into the role of your husband, as if you hadn’t argued and as if you hadn’t had the relationship you had. He couldn’t even acknowledge it, there was no time to just talk about what you had been through together or what the future might hold.

“Okay, let’s go to the bathtub.” He huffed.

“It’s not a tub-”

The two of you arrived at the large pool of water, surrounded by pillars that supported a roof. It had three walls, to protect it from wind, and one side was an open view of the ocean. You had made it just in time to see the sunset, painting both the ocean and the water of the bath in beautiful hues of lilac and red.

“See? Not a tub.” You smiled at him

“It’s gorgeous,” he said, “Did you want to go for a swim?”

Joshua began unraveling his shirt in front of you. You widened your eyes in shock and looked around, but there was no one to be seen here. You were all alone again. He kept taking off his shirt and threw it to the ground.

“Should I help you?”, he asked as he saw that you hadn’t moved an inch.

“... I don’t know.” Was all you could say.

“Sweetheart, are you alright?” His voice was sweet and laced with worry.

“Don’t-...” You sighed. “I don’t want to fight with you.”

Joshua took a step towards you, holding out his hands to you like he had during the wedding. You remembered how comforting he had been, and you took his hands. His thumb began gently rubbing the back of your hand again, and you took a deep breath.

“Who says we’re in a fight?” he asked.

“... when we were in Ceadrotia, we ended up fighting during…” You stopped yourself. “I’m sorry, this is stupid. Maybe we should just-”

“No, it’s not stupid,” he assured you. “We fought, yes. What does that have to do with now?”

“I’m scared,” you admitted, “What if all that we can do is fight and… fool around?”

He chuckled at your choice of words but brought you slightly closer to him by pulling at your hands. You took a deep breath and finally looked him in the eye. His kind brown eyes calmed you down.

“You’re my wife now, Y/N,” he said softly, “I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure you live a good life with me. That isn’t to say we won’t fight, we might, but we can handle it together. I’m sure we can. Okay?”

“Okay.” You nodded.

Joshua pulled you even further towards him. One of his hands hugged your lower back, while the other held your hand. With a knowing smile, you put your hand on his bare shoulder. He slowly started swaying from side to side.

“There’s no music,” you whispered.

“Does it matter?” he asked.

You put your head on his chest, and his hand that was previously holding yours now met the other one on your back. He hugged you, still swaying slightly, and kissed the top of your head. There was no time present in this moment, Joshua had taken up your entire universe. The feeling of his skin under your hands, his smell, his soft breaths against the top of your head - the only thing that existed was Prince Hong.

“Would you help me take this off?” You pulled away to look at him. “I think I want to go for a swim anyway.”

Joshua smiled and nodded softly. He took one of your arms, running his hand across it until he reached your glove. His fingers gently pulled one of the gloves of your hands, his lips kissing every inch of skin that he revealed. When he finally removed the piece of fabric completely he threw it to the side, looked you in the eye, and kissed the back of your hand. You let out a soft laugh as he did the same with the other glove.

“Turn around for me, my love.”

You did as he said, and turned your back to him. As he began unbuttoning the back of your dress, you realized that he had never seen you without clothes on. Joshua pressed a kiss to your upper back, comforting you without saying a word. You pulled the sleeves off and let the gown fall to the floor. You were left in your corset and underwear. His expert hands worked magic on your corset, and soon enough Joshua had taken it off. With an anxious feeling spreading in your chest, you turned around to face him, your hands covering your chest.

“Nervous?” he asked.

“It would be better if I weren’t the only one naked,” you suggested.

While Joshua pulled off the rest of his clothes, you took off the last you had on and started walking down the stairs of the pool. The water was still warm, and you quickly dove in. When you came to the surface again, you wiped the water from your face and looked behind you. Joshua was waist-deep in the water, looking out towards the view. You watched him without saying anything, taking in his appearance as if it were the last time you would see him. His body looked like it was sculpted by the gods. Broad shoulders, a soft curve from his chest to the lower abdomen, and his muscles being more pronounced with the shadows created by the sunsets - your eyes had been blessed. Joshua met your eyes, and you had to stop drooling over him. Having never seen him naked before, it was difficult to not stare and you had to look away to force yourself to stop.

“You can stare as much as you want, sweetheart.” He walked further into the pool. “I’m all yours now.”

Your body sank down in the water, hiding everything except from your eyes and nose. Joshua swam towards you. Seeing you flustered over his frame clearly made him proud because he had a big grin on his face, showing off his perfect teeth. Was everything about this man perfect? How had you not seen this before?

“Can I hold you?” he asked.

You let the rest of your head peek up from the surface of the water, nodding yes to his questions. Joshua’s strong arms wrapped around you. His smooth skin under the water felt like laying down in a bed of silk.

“I’m happy that it’s you that I get to spend the rest of my life with,” he murmurs into your ear.

You’re unsure of when and why Joshua had turned so soft, but you weren’t going to complain about it. Moving your hands up his body, feeling every curve and crevice, you cupped his face in the palms of your hands. His eyebrows raised slightly in surprise, not thinking you’d be so forward. You leaned in and pressed your lips to his, leaving him wanting more when you pulled away.

“Are you going to prove it to me, your highness?” you said with a grin, making Joshua scoff.

“Maybe I should just leave you here, hm?”

“Don’t,” you warned. “What do you want me to call you then?”

“Joshua,” you moaned out as your back hit your bed again.

The flimsy towel wrapped around your body had been pulled off as soon as you entered your room, and thrown into a corner. Joshua’s hands held onto your waist while he kissed down your jaw to your chest. Your hands tangled in his hair, and you felt him smile against your skin.

“Tell me what you want,” he murmured.

“I want you to fuck me,” you breathed out, “Please.”

“I’ll do more than that, my love.” Joshua crawled back up to press a chaste kiss on your lips. “I want to take care of you, make love to you.”

Instead of answering, you kissed him again. Hands cupping his face, while he pressed his body against yours. Feeling his skin on yours, his hard cock against your lower abdomen, without any fabric coming in between you felt like heaven. His slow, deep kisses suddenly turned into pecks all across your face and you giggled at the feeling. Joshua was so different from the other times, it put butterflies in your stomach.

“What are you doing?” you asked.

“Loving you,” he answered. “I want this time to be different. Special.”

“It is, I promise you.”

“Good.” He smiled and gave you another peck. “Is it okay if I do this?”

Joshua brought his hand down to your lower stomach, and you nodded. His fingers did quick work at spreading your wetness around and rubbing your clit before he went lower to insert a finger in you. The sensation was familiar to you, and you didn’t show a very big reaction - you were far too busy with your lips on his. However, when he pushed in another digit, scissoring them and stretching you out, you started whining.

“Think you’re ready for me?” he asked, leaning his forehead against yours

“Yeah,” you hummed.

Cumming around his fingers wasn’t new for you, but somehow he made it feel even better this time. Maybe it was the feeling of complete relaxation that you finally got around him. Joshua began rubbing his tip against your soaked cunt, making you squirm.

“... Shua,” you whined.

“God, I love it when you use my name,” he huffed out and kissed your temple.

He finally pushed inside you, slowly to make sure you got used to the different size. You gripped his shoulders and let out a quiet gasp. The quiet whimpers coming from you urged Joshua to keep going until he bottomed out, and then he stayed there. You felt completely full and unable to move.

“Are you alright, my love?” he asked, voice slightly strained.

“Mhm…” You nodded. “Are you okay, Shua?”

“I’m fine, don’t worry about me.” He chuckled.

Joshua shifted slightly, getting more comfortable, but the movement made you whine. The sheer size of his cock was enough to make you tremble. He looked at you to check in with you, and you answered with a tired smile.

“You can move,” you murmured, “I’ll be okay.”

He answered by slowly pulling out until his tip was almost out of you, the two of you groaned and whimpered at the sight, and then plunged in you again. Joshua’s lips captured yours in a kiss again as he began moving his hips. The tip of his cock hit a spot inside you that made you see stars every time he thrusted into you. Your kiss grew needy and sloppy as your bodies moved against each other. It was impossible to ignore the growing tension in your lower stomach, and Joshua’s hands wandering across your body only egged you on more.

“You’re taking me so well, sweetheart,” Joshua mumbled against your lips.

“It’s good…” Was all you could muster to say, your mind too far gone to think.

“Adorable.”

The two of you giggled, you more so because of the rousing feeling in your stomach. It was a familiar feeling, but somehow different this time. Joshua’s bare skin was hot against yours. All of these sensations became too much; his touch, his kiss, his soft moans… it all fired you up until you couldn’t take it anymore. You warned him with one final cry of pleasure, and he came soon after you.

Joshua fell on top of you with a grunt, his cock still deeply buried inside you. You put your arms around him, one of your hands playing with the hair by the nape of his neck. He hummed happily at the feeling, placing soft kisses in the crook of your neck. Adoration filled your heart as he looked up at you again, his big doe eyes sparkling like they held every star of the universe. Over a month ago you despised the man, but now you never wanted to leave his side.

“We should go to bed,” you murmured as you played with his hair.

“Stay still, I’ll help you.”

He pulled out of you, letting out a soft groan. For once you had no trouble doing what he told you to, so you laid still on the bed. While he got the bed ready for the two of you, you just watched him. While he certainly knew that you were watching him, evident by his proud smile, he didn’t look back at you. Not until he decided to move you to lay under the covers. You winced and he cooed at you, tucking you in gently before getting under the covers himself. The bed was big but unlike your bed in Ceadrotia, you didn’t feel lonely or cold - how could it be with Joshua there with you?

“Do you think we made an heir?” you asked in a giddy tone while he cuddled closer to you.

“We’ll have to wait and see,” he hummed, “If not, we can always try again.”

“Then I hope that we didn’t.”

You laid on top of him, your head right above his chest. The two of you stayed quiet, the only sound being the wind blowing outside. Joshua’s fingers drew circles on your bare back under the covers. Everything felt so perfect.

“What would you name them?” he suddenly asked, “Our heir, that is.”

“I think I’d wait until I saw them,” you thought out loud, “Holding them in my arms for the very first time, I think it’d make me come up with a name on the spot.”

Joshua let out a soft laugh. You leaned on your elbows to get a better look at him, wondering if he was teasing you. His eyes were closed, ready for sleep. Brushing out the black strands of hair that had fallen in his face got his attention back to you. His eyes fluttered open and looked at you.

“What?” he asked.

“Are you teasing me?” you mumbled.

“I’m not, I think it’s sweet,” he said, “Just like you.”

Satisfied with his answer, you put your head back on his chest. The two of you talked a bit further, saying sweet nothings to each other before falling asleep for the first time as a married couple.

The honeymoon week was spent staying close together. You didn’t just stay in the bedroom, you ended up getting creative with your sex life again - this time without having to sneak around. Going for a swim? Sex by the pool. Have a cute picnic in the castle garden? Fucking on the picnic blanket. Suddenly horny during breakfast? Tell the staff to leave the room because you’re about to fuck on the table. You couldn’t keep your hands off each other.

However, you didn’t just fuck around for the entire week. You started talking, exploring each other’s interests and minds - instead of just bodies as you had before. Through your talks, you got to know Joshua as he was when there was no pressure for him to behave in a certain way. He was a naturally flirty and charming person, but he was also gentle and truly kind - and you experienced that kindness time and time again.

Good things always come to an end. When you got back to Xaevia, you were met with saddened faces - your parents and siblings wearing black. The King of Ceadrotia had passed away. Everything happened so fast, that you were unsure of what to do yourself. Joshua went back to his kingdom right away, leaving you behind. You were left to prepare for your permanent move to Ceadrotia in the midst of mourning. The wedding was only a week ago, but two entire countries are already clouded with sorrow. You wondered what you could’ve possibly done to deserve it - but shook it off as a selfish thought.

Arriving in Ceadrotia after the death of the King was contrasting from the first time you arrived. No one was smiling, everyone wore black, and the streets were practically silent. Although you had never met the King, you knew of his importance to the people. No, the country wasn’t thriving - but the people still loved their King. Seeing everyone in mourning, feeling their pain, made it difficult for you to understand how to approach the situation.

The worst part of all was seeing Joshua cry. He was sealed away in his office, which is why it was the first room in the castle you visited. Opening the door, you heard quick shuffling and sniffling. You saw Joshua wipe away his tears with a paper towel before turning to you.

“Shua…”

“Please, don’t pity me.” Joshua sighed and ran his hands through his hair. “I’ll be fine. Everything’s fine.”

“How can everything be fine, Joshua? Your father-”

“Everything has to be fine,” he snapped, “I have things I need to do, Y/N. Please leave.”

“But you’re in mourning!” you said as if stating the obvious, “You have to spend time with yourself and loved ones to get over this-”

“Leave, Y/N. I don’t have time for this.”

This was not the Joshua you had just spent an entire week with, nor was it the Joshua you had met when you first got here. In a matter of days he had built up a wall around himself, and you didn’t know how to connect with him. You left the room without a fight - you didn’t have it in you to fight with him when he was like this. However, seeing who Joshua could be when it was just the two of you, made you want to try to help.

For the next few days, you didn’t see Joshua. He was working, eating, and sleeping in his office. Every day was spent with worry and sorrow settling deep in your bones. Worry for your husband’s well-being and health. Sorrow for his loss, which was in turn your loss. You never spoke with the late King, but you had only heard good things of him. Seeing the grief of not only your husband but the people of Ceadrotia as well was enough to understand what a loss it had been. However, this didn’t mean that Joshua had to put his health at risk. As his wife, you felt that it was your duty to take care of him - even with his many servants and maids. Only you could take care of his mind.

Seeing the Prince in the dining room was an unusual sight. He was disheveled - his hanging eyelids and puffy eyes were evidence of his lack of sleep, and his unkempt clothing proved that he had stopped caring about his appearance. He sat down in front of you, on the other end of the table, but refused to look at you. Instead, he stared at his empty plate, not even bothering to put breakfast on it.

“Joshua…”

He looked up and met your eyes.

“I’m tired.”

You stood up from your chair and walked around to be by his side. Kneeling down by his chair, you looked up at him. His eyes were teary and lacking in luster. Although you were unsure if he would let you touch him, you reached up your hands to cup his face. To your surprise, he gladly leaned into your palms.

“I know, my dear,” you hummed. “You know that I can help. All you have to do is ask.”

“... will you help me, my love?” Joshua put his hand on top of yours.

“Always.”

While Joshua rested and spent time with his mother, you went on to plan for the funeral. With his guidelines, it was impossible to not do what Joshua had planned all along. The grand hall was prepared with flowers and the magnificent things that the King loved dearly. But it was to be kept simple and elegant. As you planned the funeral, you also began setting up for the coronation. The throne room was prepared for your introduction to the Ceadrotian family, and Joshua’s introduction to his new role.

The funeral went on as it ought to, but even with its success it brought you no satisfaction. It was to be expected, but the layer of despair hanging over all of you laid especially heavy on your shoulders. After the funeral, you went to your room with Joshua. He said that he needed to lay down and rest, and you could only follow. When you watched him sit down on the bed, watched as his entire frame shrank in defeat, you wanted nothing more than to comfort him. But comfort like this could not be spoken with words, it had to be spoken directly from the heart. You sat down next to him, placing a kiss on his cheek and putting a hand on his back.

“I’m sorry, my love, but I can’t do that right now,” Joshua murmured.

“Do what?”

Joshua looked up with you, his eyes speaking for him.

“No, of course not, darling. I don’t want that either.” You took his hand in yours. “Not everything that I do with you is about sex, you know?”

“... now I feel foolish.” Joshua put his head in the crook of your neck in an attempt to hide his reddened face.

“Don’t,” you warned. “I don’t blame you. It’s all we’ve known, but I don’t want it to be like that in the future.”

“I haven’t even thought about our future…” He put his head in his hands, removing himself from you completely. “I feel like I have already managed to fail as a husband… I knew my father was ill, I knew it all this time. And it still managed to shake me to my core. I crumbled so easily under pressure, I completely forgot about… well, everything else.”

You stood up and walked over to the head of the bed and pushed the sheets aside. It got Joshua’s attention.

“I haven’t changed.”

“Just take off your overcoat and shoes. You need to lay down.”

Without question, Joshua did as you said. Once he had gotten in bed, you got in next to him. The two of you were facing each other, and you did your best to smile when he couldn’t.

“Now what?” Joshua asked.

“Well… do you want me to tell you of my plans?” you asked, and Joshua nodded. “Okay, let’s see… I’ve pictured us a lot in Xaevia. Going on visits, especially to the countryside. I know you’d adore it and… well, the children would as well.”

“Children? Are you-”

“No, no… not yet.” You grinned. “But our potential children would love it. And then I’ve also spent some time thinking about our life here. About you and I spending our evenings here together, about me beating you at chess every now and then.”

“You haven’t beaten me that many times.”

“Enough times,” you said sternly. “We would, of course, take care of the horses together.”

“I miss that,” Joshua hummed.

“Then we can go for a morning ride tomorrow.”

“Good.” Joshua cupped your cheek in his palm. “Thank you, my love. You’ve successfully cheered me up.”

“I’m glad.”

“Would you mind telling me more about our children?” he asked.

You let out a small laugh before you began telling him about your future plans.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽YEARS LATER☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

“Joshua? Could you come here, darling?”

Giggles and eager footsteps echoed through the grand halls of the castle of Ceadrotia, just on the other side of the bedroom door. Joshua took his attention away from putting on clothes to look at you. He had just gotten back from a bath, his hair wet and slicked back. A smile played on his lips as he walked up to the side of the bed.

“Good morning, my love.” He leaned down next to you, his wet hair dripping over the sheets.

“I don’t know about good morning, since you let me wake up alone.” You held his face in your hands. “But I think you should know that there are a few people who are very eager to see you just outside the door. They told me you need to hurry, they’re very impatient little creatures.”

“Ah well, if they’re so very impatient.”

With long strides, Joshua walked up to the door. The giggles persisted - grew louder, even. Joshua opened the door in a haste. Roaring shrieks sounded across the room, followed by loud laughter. Your husband kneeled down and caught the children in his arms.

“You’re all awfully carefree today,” Joshua said as he gave the two children a morning kiss on each of their foreheads. “And how did you come up with this ambush?”

“Mother helped us plan it!” Your oldest daughter grinned proudly.

“Your mother helped, huh?” Joshua looked back at you. “Always the mastermind behind these schemes.”

You smiled from your place in the bed, waiting for them to attack you as well. As you expected, the two children ran to you as soon as their father let them go. Joshua closed the door behind him, following the kids to your bed. They climbed up and laid down next to you, your son having a bit of trouble getting up.

“I feel bad that our sister can’t join,” your son said.

“She can’t walk yet,” Joshua answered, “But we can go see her in the nursery right after this.”

“Only if she’s awake,” you warned.

“Of course, my love,” Joshua said with a smile. “We don’t want to wake our sleeping beauty.”

“Don’t try to smooth over you leaving me to my lonesome this morning.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” He tried to charm you with another loving smile, but you turned to your children instead.

You could feel his eyes on you, as you intently listened to your children ramble on. They always said just what they were thinking, and it was adorable to witness. But even with this sight, you could not ignore your husband for very long. Sometimes it seemed like your husband needed even more attention than your children. At some point, the nanny came into the room and took away the children - finally letting your husband have all of your attention.

“What is it?” you asked.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“You’ve been staring at me for the past five minutes, so what is it?” You shuffled closer to him.

“Am I not to stare at my beautiful wife?” He huffed. “All I want to do is stare at you.”

You let out a short laugh and tried to get up but you were stopped by Joshua, who held your wrist to keep you in bed.

“Stay. We have nothing planned for the day.”

“But the children-”

“Can wait,” he finished your sentence. “Let’s just have a moment to ourselves.”

Joshua leaned up to you, and you met his lips halfway. It was a short kiss, but tender. It left space for the possibility of something more, it lingered in the room.

“Did you mark the calendar for when my bedrest after the baby would end?” you quipped with a quirk of your brow.

“So you are off bedrest?”

“As of two days ago.”

He leaned in for another kiss, this time more passionate, and took the opportunity to crawl on top of you.

“May I?” Joshua played with the neckline of your dress. “I’ll be gentle with you, my Queen.”

“I can’t say the same for me, my King.” You grinned, pouncing on the man on top of you.

#svthub #seventeen #kvanity #svt #kpop fanfiction #svt fluff #joshua seventeen #joshua imagines #joshua x reader #joshua hong #bee buzzed εїз✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

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diaryofaprettyprincess · 6 months

Note

hi sweetie! <3 i was wondering if i can request some fluff (maybe with a smut in the end it’s up to you) with ghost and innocent!girly!reader where ghost got all overprotective over her when some guy is harassing her and she got really scared and anxious? feel free to ignore if you don’t feel like writing this! have a wonderful day, sweetheart ₊‧°𐐪♡𐑂°‧₊

hi angel!! i hope you enjoy! <3 i didn’t add smut at the end it kinda got more serious i hope that’s okay!!! <33

(sorry if this is bad i wrote it in class KANDK)

(unmasked! ghost)

(this is kinda an au! type of thing so most everything is completely inaccurate to COD)

warnings: blood, slight violence, reader is shorter than ghost, reader is lifted up by ghost, innocent!reader, slightly dark!ghost, possessiveness, size difference (i pinned ghost as 6’6 hehe woops), tattooed!ghost (U WILL NEVER STOP ME)

‎♡₊˚ 🦢・₊✧

ghost has always been overprotective of you, ever since the day you two met—not just when u guys started dating.

his hands always find their place on ur body, making it known to everybody you were his and only his-and he was yours and wholly only yours.

so when u two went out with price and the rest of the team to a busy bar out in the city, ghost’s hands never once left your body.

even when u two were sat next to each other at the booth, his bulky arm stayed draped over ur shoulder, ur hand fiddling with his big tattooed one as he gave dirty looks to any man that dared to look in your direction.

everything was going smoothly until your small voice made his ears perk— “gotta go to the bathroom, be right back..”

you began to part from ghost’s grasp before he caught ur small hand in his. “do ya need me to go with ya?”

u giggled, blushing slightly. “simon, i don’t need ur help going pee!—ill be right back.”

ghost wasn’t always one for extreme PDA, but he could see the hungry looks of the men at the bar staring at you. and he didn’t like that. not one bit. before u could escape, he adjusted his grip on ur hand to on ur forearm, pulling u towards him as he kissed u possessively.

he heard ur small, surprised yelp as his soft —but bitten lips moved over yours, his tongue beginning to slip into ur silky mouth before u pulled away—face burning of shyness as soap and price looked away, a small smile playing on their lips out of amusement from ur embarrassment and ghost’s act possessiveness.

“love you.” simons gruff voice spoke; a slightly smug smirk playing on his pink lips.

“i love you too.” you spoke quietly biting ur lower lip as butterflies fluttered in ur tummy.

simon watched as u walked away, ur short skirt swaying as u stepped through the crowd.

“obsessed much?” soap chuckled, and price laughed with him.

“yes.” ghost replied shortly, taking a sip of his whiskey and setting it next to your strawberry daiquiri, cool water droplets beading off of ur drink.

three minutes passed and ghost started to feel unease settling in his gut.

turns out, his gut was right to feel that nagging way.

“stop!” through the music and loud chatter of people, he could hear your small voice shout. his heart dropped, and he immediately peeled through the crowd, his height making it easy for him to see over everyone’s head.

a thin man with blonde hair groped at ur body from outside the restroom door of the bar.

“jus-“ the man laughed sickeningly, grabbing ur breast as u tried to squirm away from him, tears streaming down your face. “stop movin’, baby, just wanna feel you.. bet ur nice and tight.” he smacked ur butt, cries escaping ur throat as u tried to gasp for simon’s name but nothing came out of your mouth as u shut ur eyes tightly. maybe this was a dream—maybe the man would go away—just maybe.

ghost’s body filled with an unimaginable amount of rage, and from the corner of the room, konig (who was drinking and leaning against a wall chatting up an older woman), confusedly looked at simon as the wall blocked his view of you.

he knew that deadly look in his friend’s eyes when he saw it.

shit.

loud thunks of simon’s combat boots pounded on the ground as he ripped the disgusting man off of you, his height towering over the man.

he could see the way you cried, eyes shut and whimpering as you choked on your sobs.

“hey!” the man shouted, right before ghost smacked his head into the wall; ghost’s fists colliding with the man’s face.

anger crawled throughout his body as he almost went on autopilot, the man’s face bloody and battered as simon repeatedly punched him.

punch, punch, punch—

“ghost!” price barked, trying to pry simon off of the man. “ he’s done, ghost. enough!”

your eyes peeled open as you cried, gasping as you saw the mess of a face of the man that assaulted you. his nose crooked as it took konig, price, soap, and gaz to pull simon off of the limp man.

the bar was quiet besides the music and ur little cries. blood splotched simon’s knuckles as he breathed heavily.

the man on the ground groaned, and simon almost broke through the grasp of his team behind him before the cloud of anger subsided when he heard your small, “s-simon.”

stepping on the man’s leg, simon’s large, bruised hands cupped your face, your eyes glossy with tears.

“cmon.” he spoke gruffly, holding you against him as you both made your way out of the bar to the back alley where it was quiet.

“i-“ you choked on a sob as ghost pulled you to him, his large frame dwarfing yours as he shushed you, kissing the top of your head.

“no one’s gonna hurt you like that again. i would’ve killed him—“ his accent was thick as his grip on you tightened. he took a deep breath.

you sniffled into his warm chest, ur arms wrapped around him tightly.

“are you okay?” he asked after a moment of listening to your small weeping cries.

you nodded. “‘m okay now, just scary ‘s all..” you hiccuped, and simon easily picked you up to be closer to you. you nestled your face into his neck, his large hand rubbing along your back.

“i should’ve been there.” he spoke quietly.

you sniffled, pulling away from his neck to look at him. “you didn’t know, ‘s okay.”

simon didn’t say anything, he just adjusted you in his grip and wiped the tears from your face gently with his calloused thumb.

you kissed his lips gently, giggling when he sucked on your lower lip tenderly.

simon’s body warmed at the sound.

he always knew immediately when he met you that he would kill for you.

and this night just proved that further.

he would do anything for you.

anything.

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planetnini · 7 months

Text

ONE — MAYBE I COULD FIX HIM ?

with the week you're having, you don't have it in you anymore to deal with anymore bullshit and take it out on your asshole of a roommate gojo satoru (3.8k words)

content. cheating (we don’t do the cheating), named ex: hiroto, shoko is an extremely good judge of character, geto suguru the man that you are, gojo is a bit of an asshole, reader goes off at the end (rightfully so) <33

Whoever said that if you do what you love, you'll never work another day in your life was a liar. Sure it was a well-meaning sentiment and while it filled your soul with some semblance of hope on some days, it was the main reason you were struggling with your degree and drowning in work.

So much for dreaming big…

“What’s got your panties in a twist?” the girl questioned. The smoke from her cigarette created an odour that permeated the air as you let out a sigh, leaning back on the wall.

“That shit’s gonna kill you one day.” you muttered moving your head toward the cigarette in between her fingers as you turned your attention to the scene in front of you, waiting for her to finish.

“Make sure I have a nice funeral.” she chuckled before puffing out a cloud of smoke as she pulled the cigarette away from her mouth. When you didn't laugh at her comment, she just stared at you. Your eyes were closed and breathing a little jagged as she observed. Did you think she wouldn't notice?

Ieriri does not reveal much about herself, but everyone that was friends with her knew she was deathly loyal and cared for her friends in a unique way. She put the stick up to her mouth inhaling as she spoke, "You look like shit.”

“You know how my afternoon lectures are.” she sighed.

She put out her cigarette in the ashtray bin and tucked her hands into her pocket. She was not at all convinced by your story.

“Hold it Missy.” she demanded and of course your feet stopped in its tracks before her, “Tell me what’s wrong now.”

“I’ve been hearing things about Hiroto.”

You don’t think you’ve met someone that hated Hiroto more than your best friend herself. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head as you mentioned your boyfriend or as she called him ‘he-who-must-not-be-named’. She crossed her arms over her chest and sighed, her lips pulling into a pout. She always had a thing for the dramatics.

"What else is new? Hiroto is a scumbag."

"Ieiri!" you scolded, frowning at her choice of words.

She scoffed with a shrug before she linked your arms in hers and started walking toward the cafe. You had no idea what she had against Hiroto. He was the most popular guy in your university, and he was the one everyone wanted to be with, but it came as a surprise when he chose you. He had eyes for you, and you couldn't understand why anyone would want you of all people so he asked you out one day and you didn't have the heart to say no. Even if you had liked him at the time, which you didn’t, you still couldn't have said no, it would have been an opportunity wasted. He wasn’t the nicest guy but you would say he treated you well so you defended him every time.

“I still don't understand what you see in him.”

You smiled faintly, “As much as you doubt him, he really does care about me."

You could tell that Ieiri didn’t approve. She never made her opinion on him a secret, and you don’t expect her to start now.

She rolled her eyes again and sighed, "Yeah, well you should really find someone better, like a certain someone."

It was your turn to roll your eyes at the thought of who she was referring to: a certain white haired roommate of yours.

“I hope you’re not trying to suggest who I think you are?” you stated as she gave you a sly smirk before shrugging.

“Have things with Satoru been better?”

You paused, contemplating on how to respond as you both walked into the cafe. You turned your attention to the menu as you stood in line. Your eyes scanned over the pamphlet you received when you walked in as you also looked at the assortment of baked goods and pastries.

"I still can't quite figure him out." you muttered as you stared at some of the menu items.

Her curiosity was piqued as you said this, already knowing what she would order as she stared at you now. "What's he up to now?" she asked.

When you got to university, you opted to follow your dreams and your heart and while you looked forward to finishing your degree, reaching your dreams and goals was expensive, which was something you had known as a teen. It explained why you had to get a job that definitely does not pay minimum wage and why you had to room with Satoru Gojo, as per Ieiri’s request, just to be able to do what you love.

At first, you had thanked Ieiri for convincing the prestigious Gojo Satoru to be your roommate at the start but when he moved in, you were less than grateful.

Gojo Satoru was a scion of a wealthy and successful family making him the epitome of privilege: rich, handsome, and effortlessly at the top of his class without ever needing to study– he pretty much had everything handed to him on a silver platter.

The first few months were turbulent, to say the least. Gojo acted like a spoiled prince, which was not surprising, always expecting things to be done for him and showing little regard for your personal space or boundaries. Arguments were frequent and inevitable but you shouldn't be complaining, he was the one paying most of the rent.

Entitlement dripped from his every pore but then something shifted. With you trying to assert your own space and independence against his behaviour and actions, it was as though he had picked up on your growing frustration and decided to turn over a new leaf or whatever.

It started with small gestures- he'd clean up after himself, occasionally ask if you needed anything from the store, and even helped out with chores around the apartment. These moments, though rare, caught you off guard. You couldn't help but wonder if it was all an act, a facade he put on simply because you were sharing a living space. Deep down, you were convinced that the 'nice' Gojo was just a pretence to keep the peace.

Yet, there were times when you couldn't ignore the fact that he seemed genuinely concerned about you, though these moments were fleeting– hidden beneath layers of sarcasm and his usual arrogance.

“He is just utterly unpredictable." you sighed as you put a hand over your eyes in frustration.

"Sounds like Satoru." she chuckled.

“I don’t know, it just feels like he’s nice to me because I’m friends with you.”

Shoko raised an eyebrow, a hint of concern in her eyes. "Are you saying he's being fake around you because of our friendship?"

"Yeah, sometimes it feels that way. Like he's just putting on a show."

Shoko's lips pulled into a small frown, her eyebrows knitting together, "That doesn't sound like him at all. Maybe he's just trying to be friends with you."

You had been so focused on the topic at hand, you hadn't realised you were at the front of the line.

You shrugged, "It's probably nothing.”

"Stop thinking about Satoru, you’re holding up the line." she scoffed as she smiled at the cashier.

You gave the worker an apologetic smile before turning to the person behind you, "Sorry, about that."

After ordering your favourite drink and some pastries, you approached a small table to sit. “I don’t know. I mean I guess Gojo and I are friends but still, I’m a bit suspicious.”

“I don’t think he would do something like that for my sake.”

"It just feels like you're trying to get him on my good side, I wonder why that is." you hummed with a tilt of your head, raising your brows at her.

"I think my best friend just deserves someone better." she shrugged with a pout.

"And Gojo is 'someone better'?" you scoffed.

Her hesitance was telling and you could see the gears shifting in her head, "That's like asking if apple juice is better than orange juice."

You rolled your eyes at her and looked around the café. The coffee beans alongside the soft humming of the machine, muffled speaking, jazz that played through the speakers really defined the atmosphere. Perhaps this place would become a regular study spot if they nailed just how you liked your drinks.

“Thank you for coming with me by the way.”

“No problem.”

You had a small smile on your lips as Ieiri decided to fold the receipt she had in her hand into origami, your eyes leisurely scanned over the cafe's charming layout but then, as fate would have it, your heart suddenly felt like it had been gripped by an icy hand, causing it to skip a beat.

The cafe that once felt spacious now seemed to shrink around you, constricting your senses. Your gaze, once idly roaming the room, had fixated on an all-too-familiar figure.

There, amidst the warm, cosy ambiance of the cafe, sat Hiroto. He was not alone. He was sitting across from another girl, their faces close. A rare smile was etched across his features, who was she to be able to make him look at her like that? He had never looked at you that way…

Maybe it was a friend?

Ieiri, perceptive as ever, noticed the abrupt change in your expression. Her eyes followed your gaze instinctively, and when she locked onto what you were seeing, her face transformed from one of carefree enjoyment to sheer disbelief and anger.

Their smiles were flirtatious and you could feel the creeping feeling of fear settle in your bones.

They were completely engrossed in each other, oblivious to the world around them as they leaned in for a kiss. Definitely not a friend.

Ieiri was right. He was a scumbag.

Your mind couldn't quite grasp what was unfolding before your eyes, reality not even seeming real for a second.

Confrontation was the last thing on your mind. You didn't want to cause a scene, not here, not now, even if every fibre of your being screamed for justice.

Shoko's fingers tightened around her origami creation, crumpling it as her anger flared up. Her eyes locked onto the two with an intensity that could have scorched the room.

She had always been vocal about her disdain for him, and this seemed like the perfect moment to let it all out. Without hesitation, Shoko started to push her chair back, her intention clear: she was going to confront Hiroto, give him a piece of her mind, and let the whole café know about his deceit. To berate him for everything he did to you, everything he did that you were too blind to see. You sat there in silence, your heart heavy with disbelief and betrayal but instinctively your hand reached out for hers. You shook your head ever so slightly, silently pleading with her not to make a scene.

“We can't just let him get away with this." she whispered back, her frustration growing by the minute.

Shoko's anger was palpable, and her lips quivered with the words she wanted to unleash but she respected your unspoken plea, if only for now, and reluctantly sank back into her chair waiting for your order number to be called out. Once you received the drinks and pastries, the two of you continued walking back to your shared apartment, the weight of the situation heavy on your mind as a tear slipped from your eyes. You had no goddamn appetite now.

The evening had taken an unsettling turn for you. After returning from a troubling encounter at the café that you wished you could just forget, you found yourself back in your cosy apartment that you shared with the Satoru Gojo, the most popular boy on campus.

As you pushed off your shoes and set them by the door, you overheard some of Gojo's friends chatting in the main area. Forcing a smile, you greeted the people in the room as Ieiri followed behind you, making her presence known as she greeted them as well. You placed the bag of pastries on the table, knowing that for certain, Gojo would inhale them when he got his hands on them.

“Hey, do you have a smoke?” Geto asked Ieiri as he looked over his shoulder. Next thing you knew, Geto had moved to sit across from you at the island counter while you sipped at your glass of water, mind wandering back to your jerk of a boyfriend. “How are you?” he inquired, patiently waiting for your response.

“I’m alright, thanks,” you mumbled, trying to muster a genuine smile in response to his concern.

Geto waved a hand in front of your face as your thoughts drifted. Suddenly, you were locked into eye contact with him. Leaning down to eye level, he asked, “You sure you’re okay? You look a bit tired,” a playful chuckle escaping his lips.

You sighed a little before shaking your head resolutely, “Just had a terrible fucking week.”

Geto chuckled, “Tell me about it.” he scoffed, commiserating with your struggles. Although he didn’t know the full story, it didn’t matter, you were seen for a second and it felt good, "I swear they have it out for us."

Ieiri was best friends with both Gojo and Geto in high school. You never really understood their dynamic at all but the brief interactions shared with Geto had been enough for you to come up with a comprehensive answer.

Many people around had said that Geto was like the sun personified, radiating this warmth and light wherever he went. His presence had an undeniable magnetic quality, drawing people toward him but he could leave an indelible mark on anyone in his presence. It was quite possible that what was true, made you smile a little.

Gojo's friends continued their lively chatter, sharing stories and laughter and it wasn’t until you heard the tap turn on that you realised Gojo is standing right next to you drinking water aswell.

“Hey. You smoking or what? I don’t have all day, Suguru,” Shoko chimed in, her voice cutting through the conversation.

“That shit will kill you one day Suguru.” he muttered next to you.

“Funny. You said the same thing to me today.” Ieiri commented and you could feel all their gazes land on you.

“I guess we’re a lot alike.” Gojo joked and you feel yourself smile at his words as Geto and Shoko shared a look.

Geto cleared his throat, a hand coming up to your shoulder, “Things will get better, I promise.” he smiled as both he and Shoko exited the apartment for their smoke.

The atmosphere inside the apartment shifted slightly as you were left alone in the kitchen with Gojo.

“What was that about?” he spoke, regarding the comment that Geto had just made.

You turned your attention to Gojo and shook your head dismissively, “It’s nothing.”

“You sure? You can talk to me, you know?”

“I know,” you nodded, “It’s nothing, really.”

“I’ll take your word for it.” he took another sip of his water.

You paused for a moment, “If I knew you had guests over, I would've brought them some as well.” you stated, pointing at the pastries from the café in the bag.

Gojo raised an eyebrow with a smirk. "So those pastries are for me?" he inquired, his playful tone evident.

"Don't push it." you scoffed, your heart warming at his teasing for just a second. There is suddenly a nagging feeling that tells you he is just being nice to you due to the circumstances.

You clear your throat as you tear your gaze away from him, "Are your friends staying for dinner? If they are, I might skip." You weren’t exactly feeling like yourself, and would rather not be spending time around people you hardly knew. You were just getting warmed up to the man next to you anyways.

“They’re not staying over. Even if they were, I don't really encourage skipping meals.” Gojo replied, his tone shifting between genuine concern and playfulness.

You can’t even force yourself to smile at his concern, you wanted to keep the discussion going, but your recent experience at the café had left you feeling on edge. "I guess I’ll see you at dinner then." you teased, your playful tone masking the underlying curiosity you had about his intentions. Did he truly want to be friends with you or was he doing it just out of pity?

He nodded at you and you retreated back into your room to grab some clothes but the voices of his friends drifted into your ears.

“Was that Hiroto’s girlfriend?”

“Yeah.” you heard the familiar white haired boy reply.

Their conversation had been about you, and you knew it. Trying to push yourself to stop them from eavesdropping, you shook your head and continued at finding some comfortable clothes for tonight. You needed to do something to take your mind off the events from earlier.

"Wait, seriously? I thought he was dating someone else."

Their words cast a shadow over your thoughts and only amplified your bad mood. You clenched your fists, trying to push down the mixture of anger and hurt.

“I don’t know how she’s still with him.”

The weight of their judgement had hit you harder than ever, especially after what you had witnessed earlier. As you contemplated confronting them about it, you could hear the hushed murmurs growing louder, escalating your frustration as a couple of voices interject.

“She’s kind of pathetic. Don’t you think so?”

You weren't ready to hear them belittle you any further, so you decided to retreat to the sanctuary of the shower, hoping the water would wash away the bitterness.

You turned on the water, stepping into the shower trying to drown out the sound of their voices echoing in your head. You wished you hadn't noticed how little effort Gojo made to defend you. Perhaps you were wrong to think the two of you were friends to begin with and considering his track record, maybe you shouldn’t have been so lenient to think he was different.

As you emerged from the shower, refreshed but still vulnerable, you were in the confines of your room as you messaged Shoko about what had happened. You knew she would give her a piece of her mind when she saw him next. You laid in bed, letting out some breaths steadying your heartrate as you heard Gojo call for you from outside your door. You weren't prepared for this, not after what you just heard between him and his friends.

With your emotions still raw and your nerves on edge, you slowly opened the door to find Gojo standing there, his usual confident demeanour softened.

His presence in the dimly lit hallway was both comforting and disconcerting. You met his gaze, your eyes holding a mixture of anxiety and frustration.

Gojo's voice was gentle but laced with concern as he spoke, "I sent my friends home.”

You nodded, not even bringing it in yourself to even berate him for being an absolute asshole to you when he thought you weren’t listening.

“I noticed you've been quiet since you got home. Is everything okay? Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?"

Your emotions, a turbulent whirlwind of hurt and anger, surged within you. With a deep breath, you finally found your voice, but your words came out sharp and accusatory, "I don't appreciate it Gojo," you began, your tone wavering but determined, "I know what you and your friends say about me when you think I'm not listening."

Gojo's brows furrowed in confusion. "What?"

"Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about," you continued, your voice quivering with anger.

You could see Gojo's expression shift from confusion to realisation, and a pang of regret flickered in his eyes. His usually playful demeanour had vanished, replaced by a sombre and sincere expression.

"I'm sorry," he finally whispered, his voice sincere but unsure of how to proceed.

You felt tears well up in your eyes replaying the pain of your boyfriend cheating on you and the callous things they said behind your back. The disappointment of his apology settled in- he’s only sorry because he got caught.

“That was the last thing I expected from you.” you spat out. "I thought…” you let out a deep breath, your words hanging with every ounce of pain that you’d felt today. You shook your head as you continued, “I thought we were friends."

"We are." he declared, his eyes wavering now. With guilt or concern, you couldn't tell but you knew he didn't really care.

"We're not." you emphasised, still burning with the fury of all the events that transpired today. "Every day, I see you look at me with those eyes that say how pathetic you think I look."

Gojo's brow furrowed in frustration with himself. He wanted to say the right words, to offer comfort, but he struggled to find them. He stepped a little closer, his hands outstretched towards you. You stepped back, your heart pounding erratically, and he instantly retreated.

“You have no idea how much it hurts but I guess I shouldn’t have trusted you to begin with.”

Without giving him a chance to speak, you shut the door with trembling hands. You felt a thud against the door on the opposite end and you could hear him muttered a few curse words as you slid down the surface defeatedly.

His face that was etched with guilt and regret. That look was embedded in your head as you let the tears slip down your face. He gave a resigned sigh before turning away and trudging off towards the kitchen to make dinner– alone.

You stayed in your room until you heard the door to his room close after a couple hours of distracting yourself: with studying, messaging Shoko how much you hated Gojo, and cleaning your room. Retreating from your bedroom as quietly as you can, you see a plate of food he made for you wrapped up with a small post it note on your favourite drink next to it.

I know you're still mad at me, but I hope you don’t skip dinner. Eat well, you'll need the strength... ᕙ(‾̀◡‾́)ᕗ

You scoffed at his note, scrunching it up, putting it in your pocket. It was all just lip-service.

As you sat there alone, your eyes welled up with tears, and you could feel your composure slipping away. The weight of the day became too much to bear. Your heart ached, the hurt and betrayal coursing through you as you sobbed softly.

What a terrible fucking week.

tags! @stsgluver @pandoraium @cottonheadedninnymugggins @satoryaa @bbyxxm @itsthemodelinme @sattosugu

notes. this is not proofread. i don't think the last half of this is as good but... we move!!! i'm sick and wanted to give back with the first chapter since i have some free time to write now <3 it gets better i promise, please comment and give me some love (or feedback), thank you :)

726 notes · View notes

bobohu4eva · 3 months

Text

Illicit Affairs

Characters: Idol!Baekhyun x trainee/idol!Reader

Genre: smut, angst

Warnings: explicit unprotected sex, virgin sex, significant age gap, problematic relationship dynamics, this is purely a work of fiction and in no way representative of a healthy relationship

WC: 9.7k (trust me it needed to be that long)

A/N: Heavily inspired by the song, although the forbidden nature of the relationship is interpreted more as dealing with the age difference and dynamic, rather than being a result of infidelity. I definitely recommend giving it a listen before reading further.

Masterlist

He was one of the last people you met after becoming a trainee, but he was the one you'd been thinking about meeting the most.

Baekhyun was the reason you decided to become a singer. He was the person that made you fall in love with music and singing ten years ago, so when you finally bumped into him in person, it left you breathless and flustered.

He was even more gorgeous than you could've expected, and you'd already met many other idols by then. You'd been waiting for your vocal lesson one evening, and he was the person who went right before you. When his lesson ended, he walked out of the soundproof room, and he was standing right in front of you.

The image of him you'd always had in your mind, based on the countless pictures and videos you'd seen of him throughout the years, couldn't compare at all. With him directly before you, in person, he looked so much better than you ever could've imagined. He was just wearing a black tshirt and sweats, no makeup, hair unstyled and even a bit messy, but you still had to fight off the urge to stare. He was quite a bit taller than you, and you could see the muscle definition in his chest and arms under the plain black shirt. Everything about him was just so perfectly shaped, to you. From his familiar but still somehow surprisingly handsome face, to his broad shoulders, down to his waist and hips. If you found him attractive before meeting him in person, you were down badly now.

It was so natural and sweet how he greeted you, asking if you were new, and wishing you the best for your trainee journey. Of course you thanked him, but he could easily see how much the sudden meeting had shaken you up, so he kept it brief.

From then on, you saw him there every week before your lesson, and found yourself looking forward to it every time. The greetings became short conversations, and eventually you even told him how he'd been the one to inspire you back in the day to also be a singer and eventually audition. You would never forget how those words made his face light up.

“Really? Back then I had no idea what I was doing, I'm still surprised by how much people seemed to like me. It means a lot to hear that.”

He had one of those special kinds of smiles that you only see a few times in your life. It made you feel seen, appreciated, like to him, you were the only other person that mattered. He had that kind of energy about him.

All you could think to do was blush and smile back. Being around him was almost like some sort of high to you, the way your heart pounded and you got butterflies in your stomach.

Finally your voice teacher popped his head out the door, clearing his throat. “Sorry, I've got a bit of a cold. We'll keep it short today.”

Without missing a beat, Baekhyun spoke up. “If you need to take the night off I can take over her lesson.” He turned towards you, “Would you be okay with that?”

Your eyes grew wide and your mouth opened slightly, but no words came out, so you just nodded.

“You sure?” The teacher said, “That would be great, thank you.”

“Of course, it's already pretty late, you should get some rest.”

So, you were left with Baekhyun teaching your lesson for the evening. You were still dumbfounded as he led you back into the small soundproof room, and asked what you had learned in last week's lesson.

You answered him, though it was barely above a whisper. Having him teaching you all of the sudden was not something you were mentally prepared for.

However he still understood, and started leading you through some warm ups.

To say that you were blushing, embarrassed, mortified, or anything similar still felt like an understatement. Warm ups just aren't cute.They felt silly and sounded dumb and the idea of doing them in front of Baekhyun of all people made you want to curl up into a tiny ball and become one with the carpet on the floor.

Of course Baekhyun quickly caught on to that. “How about we do them together? I'll start, and you just match me, ok?”

His voice concealed your own enough to ease your mind a bit, but soon he was asking you to sing on your own, without his voice to hide behind.

You could barely get out a sound, let alone properly sing a simple scale. It was frustrating beyond belief, you knew you were a good singer, and you were incredibly lucky to have him offer to teach you, but your shyness still got the best of you. Trying to do anything while his eyes were on you felt impossible.

Baekhyun was starting to regret offering to do the lesson, not because he didn't want to, but because he felt he was making you uncomfortable. He loved the idea of mentoring a trainee, helping them develop their skills and getting to see them debut with his encouragement, it had even been a dream of his. Of course this was only one vocal lesson, but it was something he'd been thinking about for a while, and this seemed like a great opportunity, at least at first. But he knew he couldn't force it, and he didn't want to hold you back either.

“I'm sorry, I didn't really think this through. Should we call it a night?” He asked, and you felt your heart sink. The disappointment evident on your face must've told him that you weren't quite ready to give up yet, so he made you an offer.

“What if I face the wall, and you close your eyes, just imagine I'm not here and you're practicing by yourself. Just so I can hear you and get a better idea for what we should work on.”

You took a deep breath. He was just another person, and he was here because he wanted to help you.

When you nodded, he smiled, ready to give it your best shot before he turned away, facing the corner of the room.

It actually came out sounding okay that time, so you repeated it again for good measure.

When you opened your eyes Baekhyun was looking your way again, with a proud smile on his face.

He had you repeat it a few more times, reassuring you every time that you were doing well, and for you, just seeing him smiling and praising you was enough to keep you going.

With you finally past your mental block, he was able to get an idea of where you were at, and both of you were surprised to see how quickly two hours went by. He still kept things simple, not wanting to overwhelm you or make you shy again, but it was going amazingly well and he found himself almost as excited about it as you, if not even more.

With the lesson finally over, he offered to drive you back to your dorm on his way home, and you happily accepted. When he led you to his car, a silver Porsche, you let out a small laugh in disbelief. Baekhyun just smiled, making a little extra show out of opening the door for you, before circling around to get in himself. You stayed quiet, just listening to him softly sing along to the music he'd put on until it was time for him to drop you off. Part of you was still in disbelief, that you'd really spent the last few hours with him, and now, you were next to him in his car as he drove you home. When he pulled up to your dorm, he wished you a good night, and didn't move until he saw you enter the building safely. As you laid in bed that night you replayed it all in your mind, smiling like a fool at how heart fluttering it all was. For the first time, you couldn’t fall asleep because your reality was somehow even better than what you could dream up.

One week later, when you arrived for your lesson again, you were surprised when Baekhyun and your original teacher said they wanted to discuss something with you.

“How would you feel about having your vocal lessons with me from now on?” Baekhyun asked.

They saw the surprise on your face, your first teacher nodding at what Baekhyun had said.

“Wow, I mean, are you sure? It's an honor, of course, but, why..?”

“Teaching is something I've been thinking a lot about lately and I really enjoyed our lesson last week. It's up to you, of course, but if you'd be interested then I'd love to be your new voice teacher.”

You laughed, mostly in disbelief. It felt too good to be true. Baekhyun was someone you'd looked up to for so long, and now he was happily offering to personally help you with your singing.

“You really mean that?”

He was still smiling in that almost frustratingly captivating way, nodding at your question. “So should we get started?”

Unlike the week prior you had a bit more confidence this time around, and both you and him thoroughly enjoyed the lesson. Every week that followed your voice grew even bolder, as you got more used to being around him. You got less nervous to see him, moreso happy and excited to get to sing with him, and having him as your teacher made you all the more dedicated to doing your absolute best.

Soon you started to ask him about other things, too. First it was dancing, asking his advice for how to memorize choreographies more easily. Then, how to talk to the media, or how to pose for photo shoots. Within a few months Baekhyun was much more than just the voice teacher you saw once a week. He helped you with basically every aspect of becoming a successful idol, he became a mentor to you.

You could never fully get used to it, to having him in your life in such a close way. Your heart would still flutter when he showed you that amazing smile of his, and you still refused to slack off on your vocals or dancing, because you wanted to impress him, but mostly because you’d get to see that very smile. He was every bit as lovely and charming as you’d always imagined he would be, and you fell hard for him, he made it impossible for you not to. With how sweet he was to you, it sometimes seemed like he might actually like you, as more than a student, but those were thoughts you pushed away, knowing realistically that a relationship with him was nothing more than a fantasy.

It was only six months into being a trainee that you were told you would debut, and you knew that you had him to thank for it. Another few months later the day came, and it was time for you to perform with your group for the first time.

As soon as you stepped off stage, out of the view of the cameras, you lost it. The tears weren't because you felt sad or disappointed, simply overwhelmed. You knew you'd done well, really well in fact. Your career had officially begun, and the weight of it came down on you all at once, leaving you with little to do but sit in your dressing room in disbelief.

There was a soft knock on the door, and next thing you knew Baekhyun’s head was peeking in, and you weren't sure you'd ever seen him smile that big before.

Without as much as a second of hesitation, you ran to the door, pulling him inside. As the door shut behind him, his arms wrapped around you.

His praises almost went unheard, still too overwhelmed by everything to fully listen to what he was saying, but you could tell he was happy, that he thought you'd done really well.

It wasn't long until his arms broke away, hands still on your shoulders as he looked at you, smiling that amazing smile of his. With him looking at you like that, telling you how well you'd done, how proud he was, how happy he was to be your mentor, your emotions ran wild. It was everything, the adrenaline, relief, euphoria, and just him.

His eyes were still on your teary ones, admiring you, a little overwhelmed himself. Seeing you finally debut after the months he'd spent with you, singing together, dancing, doing everything he could to make sure you were ready when the day came, got him a little teary eyed, too. You'd done so well, and he felt so lucky to have gotten to be there by your side for all of it.

“I'm so proud of you.” He said, his hands moving down from your shoulders, along your arms. His eyes held so much warmth behind them, the sweet words along with his hands on you, and the way he never took his eyes away from you, had you reeling, stomach doing flips. For a second you swore his face was getting closer to yours, and his eyes flickered down to your lips. The tension seemed so thick, it became unbearable.

You threw your arms around him, and you kissed him.

At first he took a step back, stumbling a bit, too surprised to fully react. But before you had the chance to pull away, his hand was holding your face against his own, returning the same kind of passion you showed him.

Baekhyun, your endlessly kind, lovely, talented, handsome, funny, charming mentor, was kissing you back. With his free arm, he circled your waist and pulled you closer, flush with his chest. The hand on your face held you close so softly, asking, not demanding, for more contact, for this to not end so quickly. He gave you every chance to pull away, to stop him, but you didn't, you only melted into his affection even more.

The knock on the door pulled you both rudely back to reality. Your lips parted, and as you stared at one another, what you'd just done started to sink in. Baekhyuns’ face fell in a way you’d never seen before, and then he was gone. He walked through the door with all the horror disgust he felt towards himself clearly evident and the knot in his stomach nearly made him sick.

He knew he made a huge mistake. He fucked up so incredibly badly.

You stood there stunned, a million things running through your head, and collapsed under the weight of it all.

The stylist was confused to say the least after first witnessing Baekhyun’s swift exit and next finding you, sitting on the floor crying. Thankfully she excused herself and let you be.

Baekhyun kissed you, and then just walked out, leaving you alone and confused. The guilt nearly ate him alive. Returning your kiss crossed so many lines and he should've known better, and he did, but you caught him so off guard, in such an emotionally charged moment, it just happened. The sudden euphoria of realizing that you were kissing him overpowered any rational thought. He knew he must be insane.

And of all days, it was the day of your debut.

He had to make this right.

He returned to your waiting room but it was already empty. He kept walking around the building trying to find you, even running into your bandmates, but you were nowhere to be found.

Then he tried calling you, but he was sent to voicemail after the first ring. You declined his call. Finally he texted you, although he really didn't want to have this conversation over text. He knew he needed to do a better job at apologizing than just sending a few texts

“Can we please talk about this? I'm so sorry I just walked out, I wasn't thinking, I need to talk to you.”

You didn't reply.

The next day he called again, and still you didn't pick up.

The truth was, you were too embarrassed. Seeing him again, after he'd rejected you like that, was just too mortifying to consider. You felt so stupid. Of course kissing him was an outrageously dumb thing to do. He was your mentor, of course anything romantic was off the table. But you had a crush, and the adrenaline, combined with how sweet he was to you, made you lose any sense of reason.

Stupid little girl, kissing the man she never even had a chance with, because her emotions got the best of her.

But then why did he kiss you back?

That was what drove you insane. Of course you had a crush on him, it was painfully obvious from the first day you'd met him, but he'd always stayed professional, never giving you any reason to think that it was anything more than how a fan feels toward their idol, and that it ever would be. Unfortunately for you, your feelings towards him only got stronger over time.

Baekhyun had convinced himself that it was a good thing you liked him, that with him as your mentor, you'd work that much harder. He thought it was cute, the same way he thought of other fans' attitudes towards him, during fansigns and the like. He hadn't considered that maybe he'd gotten a little too close with you, that those lines started to feel blurred. In reality, you weren't just another fan, you were far from it. You were a real friend, you knew him.

It was easy for him to understand why you didn't want to see or talk to him after what happened. He knew he messed up, both when he kissed you back, and when he left the room. He couldn't even imagine what must've been going through your head. He hoped you weren't blaming yourself, sure you're an adult, but at ten whole years older than you, he knew he was the one responsible for making sure things stayed appropriate between you two, and he'd failed.

To his relief, you still did amazing for the rest of the debut promotions. He watched every performance, wishing he could've been there to support you.

Because of how busy you were you'd agreed a while ago to skip lessons for the first two weeks after debut, and as the days dragged on, Baekhyun was starting to worry that he wouldn't get to see you again for a lot longer than he'd like. He still knew he needed to apologize to you, and the longer you avoided him the guiltier he felt.

When promotions ended and he still hadn't heard from you, he reached out to your manager, asking when you'd have time for a lesson again.

She assured him that you'd be there next week at the same time and place as usual, and he breathed a sigh of relief. The days before the lesson dragged on for what felt like ages to him, but at least there was an end in sight.

When the time finally came, you were mortified, almost as badly as the first day you'd met him, or during your first lesson together, maybe even worse. He greeted you just as warmly as he always did, emphasizing how well you'd done during all the performances, and how he wished he could've been there for you. He did everything he could to try and relieve some of the tension and awkwardness, but you weren't there yet.

You were bright red, hating the unpleasant heat sweeping over you, burning your cheeks and making you uncomfortably sweaty. You couldn't talk to him, or even make eye contact, you were still too ashamed.

“Y/n?” You saw in your peripheral how he looked at you, and your eyes started to water. “I need to apologize for what happened after the showcase, I'm so sorry, I never should've put you in that situation, or kissed you back, or just left like I did. I was being reckless and stupid, the fault is all mine, and I understand if not, but I really hope you can forgive me.”

His heart sank when you started to cry, and although he'd told himself a million times that he wouldn't, that any physical contact with you was inappropriate, he still ended up holding you, giving you a shoulder to cry on.

“I'm such a fucking idiot.” You eventually let out between sobs, and he detached himself from you, finally meeting your eyes.

“Please don't say that, this is all on me. I'm the one who fucked up, not you.”

“But I'm the one- I-”

“Because I was being inappropriate. Like I said, I shouldn't have put you in that situation, that was my mistake.”

“I'm just so embarrassed.” It came out barely above a whisper.

“Nobody saw us, and I could never judge you for that. I know you just got caught up in the moment.”

You did your best to smile and nod, but the tears just kept coming. His words were sweet but did little to mend the pain and shame you still felt.

He wanted to reach out and wipe away your tears, to hold you, to comfort you as best he could, but he knew it would only worsen things. Once again, however, when you leaned into him for comfort, he let you do as you pleased, cursing himself for letting his very necessary boundaries slip away so easily.

This was bad, he knew it was. He didn't have the strength to push you away though he really should've. If this was going to continue, he had to do better, but he was coming to terms with the fact that he just wasn't able to.

He stayed holding you until the tears eventually slowed down, and came to a stop. Now that your face wasn't buried in his chest anymore, he shot you a soft smile. “Do you want to get to singing?”

Finally, you let out a small laugh. “Do we have to? Can we just talk? I missed you.”

He sighed, but nodded. He'd missed you too, but saying so didn't feel like a good idea.

He kept the conversation light, trying to make you laugh, anything to brighten your mood, if only for a little while. When the end of the lesson came, he knew he was going to have to be the bearer of bad news.

“Next week I promise we can actually sing again.” You told him as he led you to his car to bring you home.

He took a few deep breaths, and you were on your way to your dorm when he finally replied.

“I don't think it's a good idea for me to be mentoring you, or giving your lessons anymore.”

“What?”

He stopped at a red light, and the look of hurt and disappointment he saw when he looked over at you made his throat feel tight.

“I'll talk to your original voice teacher, to see when he can fit you into his schedule again, now that you're getting more advanced it'll be better for you to train with him anyway.”

You felt your lip start to quiver again. “You just don't want to be around me anymore now, I get it.” You mumbled, trying to hide the shakiness in your voice.

Baekhyun’s eyes squeezed shut for a second, “it's really not that, not at all.”

He was pulling up to your dorm and you just wanted to get away from him now before he saw you start to cry again. “You don't have to keep lying to me, I know I'm the one who fucked everything up with that stupid kiss.”

He parked, trying to think of how he could finally convince you that it wasn't your fault, but you were reaching for the door before he had the chance to say anything.

“Y/n, wait, please-”

You were already gone though, shutting the door behind you. As soon as you were outside of his car the tears came, and you tried to wipe them away as best you could as you hurried to your dorm.

When you got to the elevator you prayed nobody would see you like this. You'd spent so much of the evening in tears, you knew you looked an absolute mess. You just wanted to get to your room where you could finally be alone and let it all out.

“Y/n, wait!”

You turned around, and there he was, jogging towards where you stood. Your stomach suddenly felt like it was in your throat, and then he was in front of you once again, this time taking both of your hands in his.

“I don't know what to tell you, for you to believe me, but it's not your fault, I swear. I- I don't want to stop teaching you either, really, but I can't keep being alone with you, not when I can't trust myself.”

All you could do was stare back at him, knowing that you were a tearful mess. What he was telling you didn't make any sense in your mind. You kissed him. Not the other way around.

“Please say something.” He was still panting a little as he said it, winded from having run after you.

“What does that even m-mean, you can't trust yourself? I'm the one who kissed you, and I'm definitely not stupid enough to try that again, so what does it matter?”

“I already told you, I shouldn't have put you, or us, in that situation in the first place.”

“But that doesn't fucking matter! Who cares if we're alone, we've been alone for the last two hours and it was fine.”

Only it really hadn't been fine, he knew that he shouldn't have been touching you at all.

You were staring back at him through tear filled eyes, and he felt absolutely terrible. He wanted to be able to comfort you, and eventually just gave in, throwing caution to the wind and wrapping his arms around you.

He just didn't have it in him to stand and watch you cry, knowing that he was the reason. This time he felt the way you grabbed onto the back of his shirt, keeping him from moving away.

“Please don't cry, I'm sorry, really, I just want what's best for you. We would still see each other occasionally around the company, it's not like this is goodbye forever.”

“I- I don't want lessons with anyone else. You're the whole reason I was able to debut, you can't just leave me now. Please.”

You were still holding onto him, and with every “please” you added, he was slipping. He hoped that you would eventually calm down, and he would be able to reason with you, to finally make you understand why he couldn't be around you so much anymore.

He had no such luck. All you could think about was how badly you would miss him, how lost you would feel if he stopped mentoring you, the last few weeks had been bad enough already, the only thing that got you through without him was your embarrassment and how busy you'd been. You couldn't lose him, you needed him.

Every minute that he listened to you cry because of him, he felt his rationality fade. As much as he knew he needed to distance himself, he wasn't going to do it if it hurt you that badly.

You felt him take a deep breath, and finally, a soft “okay” fell from his lips.

It wasn't until then that he felt your grip on him loosen, and you looked up at him.

“What? Really?” You sniffled, face still wet.

He nodded, running one hand through your hair, moving it from where it had started to stick to your face.

Once again, your arms were thrown around him, but at least this time, it was because you were happy. You must've said thank you to him a million times that night, as you felt the relief wash over you. Baekhyun was all too aware of the way your chest pressed against his own.

When he was finally free of your arms around him, you were beaming up at him, and he couldn't help but smile back. “You should get to your dorm before people start getting worried.”

You nodded, pressing the button and hugging him one more time before the elevator arrived.

“Bye” he waved, as you stepped inside and the doors started to shut “see you next week.”

He knew he was in too deep, and he was a fool to give in to you, but now it was too late. He was going to have to live with his decision and try to keep things from going further, but he

knew deep down that realistically, he didn’t have that kind of self control, not with you.

Baekhyun hadn’t planned on seeing you again until the next lesson, but when your debut song entered the top ten on all the major charts just a few days later, he wanted to celebrate, and invited you to a nice dinner. That day you spent hours getting ready, putting on your favorite dress and making sure your hair and makeup were perfect. You knew that it wasn’t a date, but the way you felt leading up to him arriving could’ve fooled you.

He picked you up and drove you to the restaurant, pulling up in the back where there was already somebody waiting to lead you to a private dining area where you’d be out of sight of the public. You hadn’t really thought about it, but you understood why it would probably be better for your dinner with him to stay between the two of you.

It was the first time you’d been around him just to hang out, more as a friend than a student, and you thought it was magical. You were nervous at first, still having all of the past drama with him on your mind, but he was his usual wonderful self, easily leading the conversation, making you laugh until your stomach hurt, and he too felt it, how easy and right this was. You ended up at the restaurant with him for over two hours, neither of you wanting the night to end. Finally the awkward tension from the previous weeks was gone, replaced with optimism and gratitude for still having him in your life.

When he finally dropped you off, he got out of the car to walk you inside, and you ended up alone with him, standing in front of the elevator once again.

“Thank you for tonight,” You started, “everything still feels kind of surreal, I can’t believe this is actually my life now. And it’s all thanks to you.”

“You always had it in you.” He said and smiled that lovely warm smile. You were about to press the button to take you upstairs, but he stopped you, looking around to make sure you were alone. “Wait- I know I tell you all the time that I’m proud of you and how far you’ve come, but I really can’t say it enough. I’m really lucky that I get to teach you. You have something special, truly.”

You and him got stuck in a weird place, neither one talking, but not making any effort to leave either. The way he was looking at you pulled you in, and you thought you saw something flash across his face, something you hadn’t seen before. He stepped closer, close enough that you could feel his breath against your skin, and your heart rate skyrocketed, confused. He wasn’t sure what came over him, he must be insane.

“Baekhyun?” You barely whispered, but he didn’t explain himself, instead he leaned in, and he kissed you.

Your mind was going a million miles a minute and it made no sense to you whatsoever, but he was kissing you, softly, sweetly, like something out of one of the many day dreams you’d had about him. As quickly as it started he was pulling away again, his face tinted a deep shade of pink, smiling a bit bashfully at you, still too shocked to react.

“Goodnight.” He whispered, and then he was walking back to his car.

After that, things felt completely different with him. The hugs got longer, his words sweeter, and every time he dropped you off, he’d again kiss you goodnight. It wasn’t only after your weekly lessons together that he would drive you around either, you and him began to spend more and more time together, and had to get more and more cautious about not being seen.

You would sneak out in big hoodies with a mask on to walk to where he was waiting in the parking lot, just to drive around all night with him in one of his fancy cars, talking, singing, and sometimes pulling off to the side of a quiet road where he would lean over and kiss you, though it never went any further. He knew that sneaking around with and kissing his student was bad enough, anything more, and in public, would be a whole different kind of stupid.

Both of you started to lie a lot, to your managers, friends, anyone really who would question or even just ask about your relationship. To everyone else, he was still just your mentor, a strict student-teacher agreement and no more. The lying should’ve been your first clue as to how wrong it all was, but you were blinded by your feelings for him. Getting to be alone with him, kiss him, and talk to him about things no one else knew was too all consuming for you to even think twice about it.

How you talked to each other changed too. When you were alone with him he would call you baby, treating you less like a student, or even just a friend, and more as a lover. You should’ve been happy, thrilled, even, and you were when you were with him, but when he’d drop you off and you’d be alone in your dorm again, you’d break down.

The late nights together, the romance, the kisses, they were all wonderful in the moment, but afterwards you’d always part ways, realizing that it was all fleeting, that any relationship beyond what you already had with him was impossible, because no matter how you might feel about each other, you were still his student, and far too young to be involved with him in any deeper way. No number of kisses or secret rendezvous would make him yours, he made that clear. You would always end up alone in your dorm at the end of it all, crying, knowing it would never turn into anything more.

Seeing him during lessons was a different experience now. There would be other people around, and they didn’t think twice seeing you together, but you and Baekhyun would give each other knowing looks, or he’d wink at you, or something else to signify your little secret. You and him almost had a special secret language, joking with each other often with little more than a glance.

Even your manager didn’t know about you and him, she knew that he was mentoring you, but she’d known him for so long, she never even suspected that he might be acting inappropriately with you, he just didn’t seem like that kind of guy.

The two of you had everyone fooled, and while it felt exciting on the surface, it also grew a new kind of shame within you, knowing that what you were doing was deeply wrong.

What you had with him wasn’t real, and never should or could be, and it was starting to tear you apart. It took you weeks of working up the courage to do so, but finally, during a lesson, you decided you were going to confront him with all of it.

“Can I ask you something?”

Baekhyun shrugged. “Sure.”

“But you have to promise you'll answer honestly!”

“Okay! I promise.”

You took a deep breath. “What are we doing?”

“What do you mean?”

“You know exactly what I mean. The sneaking around, the kissing, what is that about?”

He'd been perfectly relaxed, but you could see how he tensed up as he realized what you were talking about.

“Y/n, I don't think it's a good idea for us to talk about that right now-”

“You said you'd answer!”

A long sigh left him, eyes squeezing shut for a second. “Okay, okay. I’m just doing what feels right. You know I like you, but you also know that we can’t just act like we’re together either.”

“Why?”

“You know why.”

“Cause it’s inappropriate? We both know that this entire arrangement hasn't been appropriate since you decided to mentor me, knowing that I have a huge crush on you.”

You wanted to finally hear it from him, wanted him to admit that he'd been just as irresponsible as you, and Baekhyun didn't say a word. It was the hard truth that he'd been trying for so long to avoid, and you threw it right in his face.

“Ever since then it feels like you've been slowly leading me on, acting like we have something special but never letting it feel completely real, when you're the one who started all this in the first place, and let it get this far.”

He stared at you, and he knew he couldn't keep it up anymore, couldn't keep ignoring it. He saw your hurt and frustration clear as day, and finally, he broke.

“I'm a fucking idiot. I know I am, I'm an idiot and knew that getting so close with you was a terrible idea but I ignored all of that because I like you too much, I never intended for us to end up like this and feel like a huge asshole because I know I'm in a position where it's completely wrong of me to touch you at all because of how we met and the power dynamic but still every time I see you that's all I can think about.”

“Do you really not understand how cruel you're being?”

You scoffed at how genuinely confused he looked.

“I've liked you so much for so long, you know I have, and you just waltz into my life and start talking to me and then teaching me and then offering to mentor me, when you know I can't help but fall for you. You even make it clear that you like me back, inviting me out with you and kissing me but never truly acknowledging what it means, it feels fucking awful. You keep stringing me along because you like me even though you know you can't give me what I really want. You're such a selfish asshole for that.”

Your voice grew less and less stable and Baekhyun saw how the tears gathered in your eyes, threatening to spill over.

He knew there was no use trying to argue with you, he'd gotten himself into this mess and he knew he was the one to blame. “What do you want me to do?”

“I don’t know. But it can’t go on like this, it hurts too much.”

The small room fell silent and all you could do was stare at each other. You looked so defeated, the guilt nearly brought him to tears, and he did the only thing he could think to do.

He held your face in his hands, bringing you close, letting his lips meet your own.

Kissing him was just as electrifying as it always was, only this time, he didn't stop, didn't hold back. You got lost in the feeling, savoring the familiar taste and feel of finally getting what you craved again. This time though, it couldn't end the way it always did. Something had to change, so you pulled away.

“You can’t just kiss me again and then keep on the same way. Please, I need more.”

His face fell, because he knew he couldn’t give you that. “Y/n, I’m sorry, but you know why I can’t do that, why it has to be like this.”

And he was right, of course you understood, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. It would be the end of his career if he was seen with you, and even his close friends would be raising eyebrows. He was so much older, your teacher, and your idol. What you wanted was completely impossible. “I care about you, a lot, you know I do. I also wish it wasn’t like this but we don’t have another choice.”

“So what? You keep stringing me along, and I just have to live with it? Knowing that no matter how much we may want it, we’ll never be able to be together?”

He sighed, and frowned at how sad you looked. “Can’t we just be grateful for what we do have?”

You shook your head, “I want too much.”

Despite everything you said, you and him both knew that you wouldn't be able to walk away, and neither would he. So when he took your face in his hands, whispered another “I'm sorry,” and kissed you again, you melted into him effortlessly.

It was heated and messy, both letting out all your grief and frustration, clinging to each other almost desperately. He kissed you harder, deeper than he had before, until this time he was the one to pull away, though he didn't move far, looking at you with a look that while apologetic, was still hopeful.

“I can't give you what you want, but if we're careful, I can take you home with me. For tonight, we can act like it’s real.”

Before, taking you home with him had always been off the table. You were both too easily recognizable, and being seen in his building together would make it dead obvious that your relationship was more than it should be, so it didn’t even seem like an option.

Wide eyed, you nodded, and not even a half hour into the lesson he was sneaking you carefully out of the practice room, and then the building, into his car. You texted your manager some bullshit excuse as to why you'd be gone for the night, and then you were on your way to his place, for the very first time.

You could hear the rapid pounding of your own heart as he drove you through the night, unsure but excited. Even if it was only for one night, and he was risking far too much, you were going to hold onto whatever you could get.

When he pulled into his building’s garage, he gave you a hat and a mask to put on, he pulled up his hood and put his own mask on, saying a short prayer before getting out of the car, and walking in with you. If anyone saw and recognized you both, he would be fucked, so he hurried, and luckily you made it to his apartment without running into anyone.

Once inside you both let out a sigh of relief. You were alone with him, truly alone, no chance of passers by seeing you, or label mates catching onto your relationship, just you and him, all night.

When you felt his hand on your own, pulling you closer, it robbed you of your breath. He took his mask off, and then yours, and leaned in, though his lips only barely met your own before he was looking at you once again. “I’ve wanted you so badly, and I know it’s wrong and I’m an idiot and an asshole for doing this, but I just can’t bring myself to stay away from you.”

“So don’t. I’ve never wanted anyone the way I want you. I’m all yours.”

You looked up at him, eyes sparking with all the hope and clueless naivety he should expect from you, a girl of barely twenty, who’d grown up loving him, and was powerless not to fall into his trap, whether he’d set it on purpose or not. He was a man ten years your senior, who positioned himself as an authority figure in your life, someone who should never touch you, kiss you, or anything even close.

The guilt manifested as a lump in his throat, knowing that your feelings for him, your willingness to ignore how wrong it all was, were because of him.

Still, he kissed you, with a kind of passion that was new to you both. Without any risk of getting caught, he let himself hold you tighter, let the kiss get more and more heated. He led you to the couch, where you ended up on his lap, his hands on your hips as his lips wandered to your neck, kissing, biting, enough to make you gasp and shiver, but not leave marks.

For you it was otherworldly, lightheaded and dizzy with disbelief as his hands and lips stayed glued to your skin, finally living out the fantasies that played in your head when you laid alone at night, longing for him. You’d kissed boys in the past, but none of them came anywhere close to the way he made you feel. You were convinced nobody could ever make you feel the things Baekhyun could, and all he’d done was kiss you. He wasn’t some boy, he was a man, he knew what he was doing, and you wanted more. Every last little piece of him.

The restraint was gone. He wanted you just as badly, and that was all he could focus on. When you pushed your hips further into him, he groaned at the friction, easily getting carried away. You felt, looked, sounded, tasted, even smelled divine to him. He’d been hard for a good while already, and this time when you rolled your hips and he felt you against him, he let out a satisfied groan.

That only encouraged you further and you kept moving, lips moving heatedly against his, as you started to get yourself off against him, his hands on your ass guiding you.

“I want more.” You breathed out when he pulled back for air. “Where’s your bedroom?”

Baekhyun didn’t answer, rather he stood, your legs still wrapped around him as he carried you away, until gently laying you down on his mattress.

With you he became a gentle, caring lover. Maybe it was your age, or the fact that he’d been your mentor, but the way he touched you was like you were something precious. Like if he wasn’t careful, you would break. Even as he positioned himself between your thighs, he was cautious, never moving too quickly, watching for any hesitation on your end.

But there was none, your desire for him was all-consuming in a way that was hard to understand, even in the moment. Without him pressed against you, you felt like you might actually die.

“I’m not made of glass, Baek. You don’t have to be so careful.”

“I know, I just… I want to treat you the way you deserve to be treated. I want this to be special.”

When his lips met yours for the nth time that day, you started to tug on his clothes, until his shirt was being pulled over his head and he got to work undressing you as well. One by one he took off your blouse, followed by the skirt you were wearing, next unhooking your bra, until all that was left on your body was a pair of lacy underwear. Still desperate for his affection, you kept your lips glued to his all you could, the added feel of his warm skin against your own stealing any rationality from your mind. All you could think of was him, you wanted him in a way you didn’t even know was possible.

He froze above you when your hand reached down, trying to get the button of his jeans undone.

Even the few seconds when his touch left you completely as he finished undressing himself felt torturous. A breath got stuck in your throat when you felt his hands at your hips, slowly pulling the last piece of clothing from your body before reclaiming his place between your thighs.

As your eyes met his and he started to move closer, you realized that there was something he needed to know.

“Wait- I should probably tell you, I’ve never done this before.”

You watched as the color drained from Baekhyun’s face, eyes wide. He hadn’t even considered that you might be a virgin, you were old enough to have some experience, but it shouldn’t have been that much of a surprise to him either. Those five words hit him like a punch in the gut.

He rolled off of you, hands running through his hair, eyes squeezed shut. “God, this is so fucked up.”

You sat up, taking one of his hands and he looked at you with uncertainty. “It’s not a big deal, but I’m sorry if that was a bit of a shock.”

He gave you a sympathetic, but worried look. “It is a big deal though, at least to me. This would be irresponsible enough if it wasn’t your first time, I don’t know if I can do this. I don’t want to be responsible for how you’ll feel afterwards.”

His words made your heart sink and a lump form in your throat. “What? No, please, Baekhyun, trust me, there isn’t anyone in the entire world that I would rather do this with than you, here and now. Please. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything this badly.”

“You have to realize how tough of a spot you’re putting me in.”

“I don’t care. I just want you, I’ve never been so sure of anything in my entire life. Please.”

You moved closer to him, linking your hands behind the back of his neck, taking him with you as you fell back onto the mattress. He looked down at you, still unsure.

“Please.”

He shushed you with another kiss, but had his own conditions if he was really going to be your first. “You have to tell me immediately if you feel uncomfortable at all, or if it hurts, and you can stop me at any point if you don’t want it anymore.”

You could see in his eyes the concern and uncertainty he was feeling, but you had gotten this far, and you knew what you wanted, and you wanted it bad. You nodded, and he was between your legs once again, the anticipation rising.

Baekhyun didn’t miss the way you gasped at the first touch of his length against your inner thigh. He wanted to make sure you were ready, that it didn’t hurt too badly, so he started with one finger inside you, slowly working it in and out, before adding a second. The wetness and your whimpers told him you were more than ready, easily taking his digits, and finally, he moved to replace them with his length.

You felt him position himself at your entrance, and you were certain you’d never felt that kind anticipation before, leaving you a shaking, panting mess underneath him.

You felt his hand softly against your cheek, and your eyes opened to meet his. “Y/n, baby. You’re sure you want this?”

You nodded without even a second of hesitation. “Yes, god, please.”

The softness of his kiss was a stark contrast to the intrusion of him pushing inside, the pain making your eyes squeeze shut and a whine pass your lips.

He stopped moving when he saw your reaction, giving you time to adjust to the new sensation. “Am I hurting you?”

It did hurt, but your desire overpowered any sign of discomfort. “Please don’t stop.”

With his forehead pressed to yours he kept going, until his hips were flush with yours. He felt your discomfort in how tense you were, staying still to let the pain subside.

“Baekhyun, please.”

You might’ve not minded the pain, too concerned with the intense need for more, but he wasn’t going to move until he knew you were okay.

“I know it hurts baby, you have to relax, can you do that for me?”

You whined in response but realized that he was right, you were extremely un-relaxed, and as you made a conscious effort to let go of all the tension in your body, the pain faded away.

He felt it, and saw how you melted into the mattress, and took it as his cue to start moving.

The first thrust had your back arching, moaning his name and he just kept going, setting a slow rhythm. You clung to him, moaning unabashedly, losing yourself to the new and incredible feeling of him inside you. Nothing could’ve prepared you for it, this was so much better than anything you’d been able to come up with in your own fantasies. Just the weight and warmth of him on top of you overwhelmed you, combined with the feeling of him pushing in, pulling out almost completely each time, before sinking back into you, it was like your own personal heaven. He was your own personal heaven.

It only got better as he kept moving, that familiar warm feeling building in the pit of your stomach. You’d had orgasms before, but what you could do with your own hands didn’t even compare to what he was doing to you. It was a wholly different, and far more intense sensation.

His lips collided with yours in a messy, lustful haze, praises passing his lips in between breaths. “You feel so good baby, so perfect, so beautiful.”

Those words heightened everything even more, his low voice sending chills running down your spine.

“Baek, please.”

You didn’t even know what you were begging for anymore, you were just imploring him for more, everything and anything he could give you, you wanted it. The feeling of him rolling his hips into you again and again clearing your mind, your pleasure and desire all consuming.

However he could see it in your eyes, how you needed more, and picked up the pace. The way he pushed himself into you, now faster, and with more force, had the tightness in your belly growing more intense by the second.

The build up was more intense than you ever knew possible, losing control as he continued his ministrations, until all at once, you fell.

The orgasm raged through you, leaving every nerve ablaze, as you shook and gasped at the overwhelming wave of pleasure.

Above you, Baekhyun was losing control too, still pushing inside deeply, teetering on the edge, but your fucked out expression combined with the way you clenched around him had him reaching his high soon after you, shuddering with a moan as he let go.

For a minute you both stayed just like that, panting, gasping, letting the climax slowly fade, until there was nothing left but a tangled web of sweaty limbs.

When he pulled out and rolled off of you, the loss of his warmth made you whine. You barely even noticed when he got up, soon returning with a wet towel, and cleaning you up.

He settled in next to you, and you smiled when his arm wrapped around you, pulling you into him.

Luckily the exhaustion did well to lull you to sleep, any painful thoughts being pushed to the morning, but you wouldn’t be able to escape them forever.

He woke you up with a kiss on the cheek, and at first it all felt so nice, so tender and intimate, in bed together with him as the sun began to poke through the curtains. Slowly he got up, and you followed, feeling the dull ache between your thighs as you stood.

Seeing the way you grimaced at the soreness, he was quickly at your side. “Shit, sorry.” He muttered.

You just let out a small laugh. “It’s okay, it was worth it, at least. Definitely worth it.”

He smiled, pulling his clothes on as you gathered your own, before doing the same. “Let’s get you home, before it gets busy and people could see us leaving here together."

There it was, the rude call back to reality. That your night with him was over, that now you would have to hide again, to sneak around, and constantly be reminded that he wasn’t really yours, and never would be.

Stupid, foolish girl.

You managed to make it back home without being spotted, and even his kiss goodbye couldn’t keep the sadness from taking you over. He noticed it too, how you seemed to shut down after making it to his car.

Back in your room, you let it all out, letting the tears seep into your pillow. Once again, he’d turned you into a complete mess, the pain and frustration leaving you broken.

Nobody could ever again give you what he could, could make you feel what he could. It was him, the man you’d looked up to and admired for so many years, and now after having slept with him, it was clearer than ever.

That was the nature of your relationship with him. You were powerless to him, and no matter how much it would ruin you, you'd let him do it, over and over again.

For him, you would ruin yourself, a million little times.

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