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isagisyoichi · 3 years

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PINKY STAR (RUN) :｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆

SYNOPSIS: isagi as your boyfriend

CHARACTERS INCLUDED: isagi yoichi my boyfriend of many several years

WARNINGS: swearing? i think idk i forget also yah pretend they all go to the same school and stuff. also horribly self indulgent if u couldn't already tell

A/N: if you remember my old one delete it from your memory it was literally so bad help anyways the re-up because my boyfriend deserves better. also i really like this one and i feel like it’s more in character for him :P lol i've had this in my drafts for like, ever <3 but also my last post for a while because i have ap exams and my sat soon :P

FOR: the anon that asked me where my original isagi bf hcs went :’)

after the initial awkwardness of being in a new relationship fades and you two become comfortable with each other, a relationship with isagi would be like dating your slightly awkward best friend who you make out with sometimes.

like, i don’t really see isagi being high maintenance, so i feel like a relationship with him would definitely be on the relaxed side, but still romantic, you know?

isagi’s inner monologue is so funny and he definitely lets his thoughts out to you. it makes you laugh to see your usually friendly-to-all boyfriend have his moments, too.

you guys are one of those couples that give each other a look when someone’s doing something weird in public #telepathicconnection <3

but, isagi’s really such a sweetie with you. i know user isagisyoichi may be slightly biased when they say this, but believe me when i say that isagi’s 100% boyfriend material.

walks you to class whenever he can. always either holding your hand as he listens attentively to you complaining about school.

writes down things he feels are important about you in a digital note entitled “y/n 💗,” so he can remember them in the future.

isagi's used to talking to all kinds of people, so even if you're not the most talkative, he can adjust with no problem.

and he’ll always entertain you about whatever stupid conversation you wanna have.

kinda basic with pet names. babe, baby, dork (he would, i don’t wanna hear it), are his usual rotation.

randomly compliments you/says these really romantic things out of nowhere because he can’t control himself and often blurts things out.

“yeah, of course, when we get married, i’ll-”

“when we get married?” you inquire as you cut isagi off. you two have never discussed marriage, just but the thought of isagi wanting to spend the rest of his life with you is enough to make your head spin.

isagi’s eyes go wide when he realizes what he’s said. damn his mouth that moves faster than his mind.

swallowing hard and taking a breath, isagi says, “y-yeah, when we get married,” further affirming his statement with a nod, albeit a bit of a nervous one.

now both of you guys are flustered LOL.

likes to sit his head in your lap and have you play with his hair, while you two talk or just sit in silence.

such a good listener, perfect person to rant about anything with. he’s very understanding, he’ll hold you if you need him to, wipe your tears if you’re crying, give you advice if you need it, just overall so sweet.

also always knows when you're sad because of his intuition. isagi encourages you to open up to him, but ultimately doesn’t force you, just lets you know that he’s always there for you <3

(that's kind of lie because isagi does pry a little LOL, but he means well)

takes care of you! nags you a little, tries his best to make sure you're not doing anything stupid, and if you are, that someone responsible (him) is watching you, looks after you when you’re sick, etc.

gives you his jacket when you’re cold (he’s been waiting to do that his whole life bro LMAOO), carries your things, always texts you good morning and good night, just overall sooo good to you.

but as soft as he is for you, isagi does have this tendency to get these random spouts of confidence, so sometimes he’ll say or do something really bold out of nowhere.

like, he’ll suddenly grab your waist and pull you closer to him, or he’ll kiss you out of the blue. the flustered expression that rests on your face for a change always makes him smirk *heart eyes*

in general, though, isagi's still kind of awkward sometimes regardless and does say or do things that make you go "???" and make him be like "why did i do that" LOL he's so cute though <333

he’s pretty basic with dates, usually opts for things like restaurants, walks in the parks, movie nights, or stuff like that, but they’re still really fun!

but, if you ever want to do something out of the norm, he wouldn't be opposed to it, either. but, you do have to tell him ‘cause he's not a mind reader lol.

(okay but, one time, isagi tried to watch a scary movie with you because he wanted to do that thing where he wraps his arm around you during the scary parts, but HE ended up being scared instead 😭)

isagi’s the type to put your name with a heart emoji or the date you guys started dating in his instagram bio LOL

y/n 💓 IHS Forward #10 ⚽️ *insert some soccer quote about grinding*

it’s a bit middle school, but you let it slide because you know he just wants to show you off <3

study sessions are normal between you two but, you guys always get bored or distracted halfway through and start watching youtube or something LOL.

it’s canon he’s a thigh man lol, so if he ever sees you wearing an oversized shirt, especially one of his, with shorts, isagi will literally short circuit in real life.

he keeps his hand on your thigh when you guys cuddle that day, tracing patterns on your skin, or just squeezing it every now and then.

in general, though, isagi likes poking at and playing with them whenever they're out <3

once, isagi wanted you to do that trend on tiktok where he sits between your thighs and stuff, but he had no idea how to bring it up LOL

so, isagi just watched tiktoks of it in front of you and hoped eventually you would get the hint 🙄

and you did, thanks to his incredible lack of subtly. he doesn’t even care when you giggle and tell him how bad he is at being slick, isagi got your thighs around him, he won!!!!!!

takes a picture (or two or three) to savor the moment.

(even though he could literally just ask you to do it again in the future, but whatever, i guess)

when you’re dating isagi, the team comes with him too LOL

they’re always snapchatting you pictures of isagi when they’re hanging out without you, with stupid captions like, “look how sad your boyfriend is without you 😞”

isagi’s not even sad in the picture, he’s just confused as to why they’re shoving a camera in his face 😭

isagi one hundred percent attempts to get you to run the mile with him during gym if you don’t already.

“babe, just try!” isagi pants, as he catches up to you and your friends, as you guys are still on your second lap.

admittedly, the effort is cute, but beloved, i hate to break it to you- i will not be doing anything of the sort.

he will sit down or walk around with you after you finish the mile, though. if he’s not already playing soccer lollll.

when he does choose to go with you, expect exclamations from the team about how isagi “abandoned us for his little relationship” 👎

isagi’s receiving love language is words of affirmation (also basically canon LOL) so, he really values the compliments you give him with his whole heart.

you could tell him how his hair looks nice in the morning, and isagi will think about it all day.

whether it be about how cute he is, or how talented of a player he is, isagi really is happiest when you praise him <3

speaking of soccer, isagi has this tendency to get lost in the moment and talk your head off about some soccer related tangent that probably makes no sense to you.

his eyes light up and his voice is just oozing with passion for what he does as he goes into detail about how he made this crazy goal at practice while you stare at him with the biggest heart eyes ever, adoring his dedication.

and of course when isagi realizes he was rambling, he apologizes profusely for “boring” you, like the gentleman he is.

but when you reassure him that he could never bore you and that you want nothing more than for him to go on, isagi begins to feels lightheaded due to his adoration for you <3

if you're the type to go all out when it supporting isagi at soccer- like make one of those corny signs, yell from the crowd, wear his spare jersey to games, isagi will physically have to withhold his heart from jumping out his chest.

he's a little embarrassed that you're doing all that for him, but the effort means soooo much to him.

and speaking of soccer, it would mean a lot to isagi if you not only supported him at games and stuff, but expressed an interest in learning more about soccer as a whole, too.

you know, learn a little more about the game on your own accord, ask him to teach you how to properly play, or even challenge him to a one on one, do stuff like that, and he’ll literally be head over heels for you. well, more than he already is.

(he always goes easy on you on your guys 1v1's and he thinks your efforts are adorable, no matter how much you may or may not suck)

he'd repay the effort and try to get interested in whatever your hobbies are!

also, you can get him to do almost anything if you pout and beg hard enough, you’re literally so hard to say no to in isagi’s eyes <3

isagi’s the type to not realize when other people are flirting with him LOL

he just thinks they’re being nice (unless they’re being straight up) and i don’t think he would really process it because he’s so focused on you romantically, if that makes sense.

once he realizes you’re jealous, isagi apologizes earnestly, reassuring you over and over again that you're everything he could ask for and that he would never intentionally try to hurt you and all that jazz.

although, i will admit, sometimes isagi’s kinda smug when you're jealous, especially when it’s over a dumb reason 👎

however, when he’s jealous i feel like it could go one of two ways-

on normal days, isagi would just stand there to “intimidate” the other person, maybe cough a little for emphasis until they go away lol.

but on days where he’s already mad/filled with adrenaline/or someone’s really not taking a hint and you’re visibly uncomfortable- oh boy, it’s like a switch flips in him.

has those same fiery eyes he has during the climax of a game. the energy he’s exuding is dead serious, and that alone is enough for the person bothering you to go away. not bad for a man that’s only 5’8 🥰

adding on, isagi doesn’t take any shit about you, ever. even if it’s from his friends. usually isagi’s very neutral and doesn’t actively try to start conflict, but there are some things he’ll always defend and you’re one of them.

isagi always listens/watches/reads/etc whatever you recommend him (on that note, please recommend him good anime because isagi’s out here willingly telling people his favorite anime is darling in the franxx), even if he doesn’t necessarily like it LOL

you could show isagi objectively, the worst song ever and he would be like “yeah, it was good babe!” (it was not)

also does the same thing when you bring him shopping with you, like he's absolutely NO HELP 😭

you could try on the ugliest sweater known to man and he’d like “you look nice 🙂” pls be honest isagi, you can say it’s hideous!!!!!!

but isagi’s also being somewhat truthful in his statement because he does genuinely think you look nice in everything <3

also loves when you wear his clothes- always feels a mixture between pride and slight shyness?

kinda lol idk but overall, isagi really is sooo happy you wanna show him off that much, especially when you're wearing something of his around his friends :')

he says “i love you” first, no doubt.

he’s a bit nervous when he does because he doesn’t know if you’ll reciprocate, but he really does love you and he feels like he physically can’t hold it in anymore.

“i promise you don’t have to say it back!” isagi reassures anxiously. “i know it’s a really big commitment, and if it’s too early for you right now-”

“i love you, too.”

#queued #blue lock #bllk #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #blue lock headcanons #bllk headcanons #isagi yoichi #isagi #isagi blue lock #isagi x reader #isagi yoichi x reader #isagi headcanons #isagi fluff #isagi imagine

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mx-barnes · 2 years

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Anxious

Bucky x Reader

Summary: It had been a rough day. Work was exhausting and life had just been absolutely draining. You and Bucky hadn’t been talking much recently. He was busy with college. He had gotten into Yale. He was going to achieve his dreams. Of course, it hurt when he had to leave and the distance was a pain to deal with but you were happy for him. But today was stinging a little more than normal.

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: loss of sobriety, drunk reader, nothing real descriptive but mentions a panic attack, bad day at work, crying, party scene kind of, an unhealthy coping mechanism (drinking), mentions of killing yourself (via alcohol poisoning),

A/n: So this started out as me just writing this because I had a rough day then some other stuff happened and I spiralled so it ended up becoming way longer than intended. The end kind of seems rushed but I don't know I kinda of like it.

Masterlist

It had been a rough day. Work was exhausting and life had just been absolutely draining. You and Bucky hadn’t been talking much recently. He was busy with college. You were proud of him of course. He had gotten into Yale. He was going to achieve his dreams. Of course, it hurt when he had to leave and the distance was a pain to deal with but you were happy for him. But today was stinging a little more than normal.

You had gotten your midterm final marks back today and you didn’t do as well as expected. So you had a slight panic attack about that then your boss yelled at you when you got into work for no apparent reason except for the fact that he was having a shitty day as well. Then about halfway into your shift, you were carrying a college kid's coffee to him when some old lady bumped into you spilling the hot liquid all over you. Then she dared to say that it was your fault. You bit your tongue and took it as the natural people pleaser. So you make the man drink again after changing. You bring him his coffee and when you set it down he begins catcalling you but you brush it off as you learned to do at a young age. The rest of your shift goes without a hitch and by the time you clock out all you want to do is go back to your apartment and crash.

Climbing the stairs to your apartment feels endless. When you reach your floor you pull out your keys and go to unlock the door but find it unlocked. “Great,” you think your apartment was unlocked all day. Stepping into your apartment something felt different. That’s when you felt hands slide around your waist. You whipped around, ready to hit the offender. “Oh it’s was just Bucky. Wait It’s Bucky,” your internal monologue was speaking going a mile a minute. You wrapped your arms around him. Kissing and hugging him.

“Hey doll,” his sweet voice melted away one of the worst days you had. His soft touch on your skin was beautiful and delicate. “So I was thinking we could go out to a party tonight. Steve heard I was back in town and was going to throw a party,” you really didn’t want to be that partner who told your boyfriend he couldn’t go to a party just because you didn’t want to.

“Oh, I got stuff I need to do. I’m sorry you can go,” you lied expertly.

“Please doll, we haven't seen much of each other, and the party would be boring without you,” Bucky pleaded, using those gorgeous stupid blue eyes.

“Ok fine but I got work tomorrow, so we have to leave early” relenting you went to go get changed for this party.

In truth, it was just a smaller group of people getting together at a nightclub and all drinking, or at least when you say small you meant nearly 50 people and then adding more people who you didn’t know it was like there were about 100 people you didn’t know most of which Steve had invited.

You only had just got there and you already wanted to leave. You stuck it out for Bucky because he was having a great time. So you went to the end of the bar. Hiding away in the little corner the bartender feeding you dozens of drinks. At first, it was only club sodas and water, but it slowly became more and more alcoholic drinks. Your year-long sobriety going down the drain

By the time Bucky had noticed your lack of a presence, you were already more than a little tipsy edging on the way to full wasted. Everything had just begun to be too much. So like the usual unhealthy coping mechanism you drank. You drank to the excess and each drink kept coming. So when Bucky came sliding up next to you at the bar you had immediately said, "I have a boyfriend."

He just chuckled and said, "I know."

You recognized that voice it was the voice of your boyfriend. "Buckyyyyy," you drew out his name."

"I think you 'ave had enough doll," he said trying to take the glass away.

"What no, I'm good you don't have to take it away," you held the drink protectively.

Bucky knew your past. He should've known not to leave you alone for too long. Especially in a crowded bar where the music was blasting and there were a bunch of people you didn't know, but he had been wrapped up in everyone there and this was his free time. He needed to get you out of here. If he didn't you would either drink until you were blackout drunk or until you killed yourself. He knew you feel like shit tomorrow, not from the hangover but your relapse. This time you had been sober it was your longest ever. He was proud of you but it had been ruined by Bucky. He knew when they were going to a club he should've said no. He should've said that he was staying home with you, and if he was dragged along he should've stuck by your side, but he failed you. "C'mon doll let's go," It wasn't a suggestion it was more an order framed as a question.

"No this is your party. I'm sorry. I'll go, I ruined it for you."

You stumble out and off the chair before Bucky could catch you. Pulling your phone out to call an uber. Tears filled your eyes, you ran into a wall of muscle. Looking up you saw Steve. Immediately you looked down at the floor and quickly made your way out the bar mumbling an apology to Steve. Not listening to Bucky's cries to wait.

"Steve, nice party but I gotta go. I'm sorry. It's Y/n I don't want 'em getting hurt," Bucky rushed out as he bolted for the door. By the time he caught up to you, you were swaying on the curb waiting for the car you order.

Bucky slid up beside you placing his arm around you to steady you. You leaned in a bit when you smelled his familiar scent. "I'm sorry, I ruined your party," your speech slurred, finally letting the tears out.

Bucky pulled you in closer. Stroking your head carefully giving you tons of forehead kisses. "No, no doll it's my fault I wanted to spend tonight with you but Steve insisted I come he had this all booked. The moment he heard that I was coming back. I wanted to spend tonight with you but I kept getting pulled in all sorts of directions," your car came and you got in Bucky following close behind. "That still is no excuse for abandoning you. I am so sorry."

Tears filled your eyes. You were sober for a year before this. One whole year. You were full-on sobbing now. The whole day just catching up with you. You couldn't seem to calm yourself down and every attempt lead to you being more and more agitated. You were close to having a panic attack, Bucky could see. Slowly at first, he started tracing small little simple designs into your skin. He encouraged you to trace them and you did. You started coming down from your panic attack each design drawn brought you further down. The ride back to your apartment was a quiet one.

When you got home you took off your shoes and made the short walk to your room and crashed in your bed.

With the uber tipped and paid for Bucky followed you up the stairs and into your apartment as well Straightening your shoes because he knew you would be upset with yourself already enough tomorrow you didn't need that on your mind as well. Locking the door and walking to your bedroom he made sure to grab you a glass of water and some pain meds putting them on your bedside table. He got in beside you. Giving you enough room so you two weren't touching he wouldn't cuddle with you unless you reached for him and normally you did.

By the time you woke up in the morning, Bucky was already up and had called into work for you. He had made food for you. He felt terrible about the night before but he powered through because right now you needed him more than he needed your consolation.

You woke up with a terrible headache, remembering you had work today you jumped and ran into your living room to find your work clothes, instead of finding them you found Bucky. "I already called in for you doll," his sweet voice explained, "Come eat some food and then we can talk about last night. So you wandered over to your kitchen counter and began to eat. Talking about last night and how you were "lead" to drinking about your bad day the previous day. By the end of it, Bucky just came over and hooked his arms around hugging you tightly.

"I'm sorry baby, do you wanna watch movies and cuddle today?"

"I guess," and you did. The previous day was exhausting but you would always pull through with Bucky by your side. "I love you."

"I love you too doll."

#please read warnings #triggering stuff #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes fluff #bucky fic #bucky fluff #bucky x reader #bucky barnes #bucky x y/n #bucky x you #james buchanan barnes #james bucky barnes

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thecarnivorousmuffinmeta · 3 years

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You did a post a while ago on what it would take for all the Cullens to realize how unhinged Edward really is. I reread it and got curious but couldn't find one that included Bella, so here comes my ask: What would have to happen so Bella realizes all that's wrong with Edward and their relationship?

Anon's referring to this post.

A Canon Aside

And oof, the answer's not pretty. Edward's pretty good at hiding red flags in Twilight, especially from a seventeen-year-old depressed girl in her first relationship, but he's not nearly so good at it by the time Eclipse rolls around. Bella doesn't even notice.

Point being, Edward says and does a lot of alarming shit to Bella. A lot, and she takes it in stride. Examples?

Edward confesses to Bella as early as Twilight that he despised her initially for daring to smell delicious and ruining his life. He also confesses he thought she was mousey, plain, and overrated.

Edward confesses to Bella as early as Twilight that his entire family discussed her murder over the misfortune of witnessing Edward crush a van. He tells her that it was, in fact, not a unanimous decision to keep her alive and the worst fight his family has ever had.

Edward confesses to Bella as early as Twilight that he, in fact, contemplated eating all of her Biology class in the most methodical and efficient manner he could devise so that he could maximize his pleasure eating her.

Edward confesses to returning to Forks, despite wanting to eat Bella desperately, thus endangering her own life, so he could soothe his wounded pride at having been bested by a little girl

Edward confesses to sneaking into Bella's room at night to watch her sleep unawares for weeks.

Edward confesses that Alice was pretty sure Bella was going to die should Edward take her to the meadow. He then runs around the meadow like a maniac, ripping out trees, and physically threatening her while crying, "I'M A MONSTER" in a monologue that belongs in "The Phantom of the Opera"

Edward confesses to stalking Bella's every movement in Port Angeles and having followed her there for no reason (admittedly after having saved her from rapists, so that one doesn't really sink in, but alright Bella)

Edward confesses to having run off for years to eat murderers and rapists because... he wanted to. No, really, that's pretty much the reason he gives, he was tired of Carlisle telling him what to do and wanted real food. Even Edward thinks this one sounds bad.

Edward smashes a TV, audibly even to Bella, after the vote on whether or not she should be turned (where he in fact voted no) when the consequences of "no" are her murder, his own, and probably the entire coven's.

Edward then spends several weeks kidnapping Bella to his house to the point where Bella has to escape him as she would an abusive partner in order to make it to the res.

... I kept listing but the list keeps going. Um, pretty much flip to any random page in the saga, look at Edward's line in Bella's hearing or any action he takes, and it belongs on this list.

He writes her a nice song? Two seconds later he's eating her tears so they can last in his tummy forever.

My point being, Edward raises a lot of red flags from Bella's perspective, a lot, and she either willfully ignores them, doesn't see them for what they are, or has so little self worth she goes, "Yeah, I'd eat me too."

Given what she goes through in canon (in part where Edward dumps her in the worst way possible and shatters any self-esteem she did have), she was not in a position to confront what Edward really was. By the time Bella hits the end of New Moon she's committed, Edward is her salvation, the only thing that can make her feel alright in the world, and she will not lose him.

So, What Would Edward Have To Do?

All that's wrong with Edward? As in everything?

Something awful, anon, something vile.

In the case of within canon, the obvious mark is forcibly aborting Renesmee. Bella will likely die during this procedure, but should she survive, then her husband just ate their daughter out of the womb.

That's the most obvious one to me, everything else is either extremely AU or wouldn't tell Bella everything she needs to know.

Edward cheats on her after Breaking Dawn (yes, readers, I know, I know but @therealvinelle claimed that meta so I'm waiting on it too) then she's devestated and her world falls apart, but likely concludes she was never good enough or Edward never truly loved her.

Something like Blue Moon or For the Love of a Woman happens? Same thing, Edward didn't love her, he's more... awful than she expected but her first instinct would be to blame herself and insist that Edward's not awful. She wasn't good enough for him, she bored him too much, never vice versa.

Edward decides to take route one and murder all humans in St. Marcus' Square under the humans noses? Well, he decided not to do this in canon because Carlisle would be sad (Edward has a WWCD bracelet that keeps him out of trouble in canon) but also Bella's in such a zombie daze I think it wouldn't even process. Edward painted an entire square red with blood? And now Bella's joining the Volturi? Whuzza huh? That doesn't sound like Edward.

If the Volturi are sacked in such a manner that Edward becomes god emperor, offered tithes of beautiful human men to form a harem... Bella's not sure what to think about that one.

We are talking about someone with the worst self-esteem in the world. As of canon, on her own, Bella's first instinct will always be to blame herself rather than Edward.

#twilight #twilight meta #twilight headcanon #twilight renaissance #twilight shipping #bella swan #edward cullen #anti edward cullen #edward/bella #anti edward/bella #meta #headcanon #opinion #shipping

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peeterparkr · 3 years

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red; tom’s version|two.

chapter two: the lucky one. “You don’t feel pretty, you feel used”

pairing: Tom Holland x Reader story summary: you’re reminiscing through your relationship a month after the heartbreak and breakup. Wondering if it went wrong from the very start when Tom arrived at New York, and him being a cautionary tale or if the problems came along the way. Perhaps the key to find back your way to him is going back through the nice things before the heartbreak came. Or is it too painful to go all over again?

chapter summary: bottle caps, a red scarf and two coincidences that probably mean something warnings: angsty a bit, cussing, word count: 6.7k playlist (updated after each chapter, including Red songs+ other for the chapter): Spotify | Apple Music

fic masterlist previous chapter next chapter

Present day. One month after the breakup.

Tom knew he had to stay quiet. Or rather, there was barely anything he could say while he was plotting his next words. He could barely believe he had a chance.

Walking down the streets with her quietly as he saw her, arranging her own thoughts. She had agreed to listen.

And he knew it was because whatever they’d felt, it made it worth it.

Y/N was angry. Not sad, angry. He had expected her to be crying. He didn’t want to be the reason why she would and he tried thinking he wasn’t. Though, deep inside, he was perfectly aware that he would be blamed for the tears that she’d shed in the last few months.

He wasn’t proud of that.

Guilt blinds. And Tom was blind in an attempt to shield. It was easier to shield on his own excuses that would serve barely as a plea to forgiveness.

Glares were directed at him. Her jaw was clenched and she had crossed her arms. The moment she’d realized what she’d agreed to, she’d turned stiff.

“Aren’t you cold?” Tom had tried asking.

“I don’t wish to speak to you.”

Fair.

And it was the middle of the night once again, how many times had they not walked under the stars with barely a destiny to reach. And now he was walking to his doom.

Y/N was mental.

In a good way. But the girl had taught him how insane you can be when it comes to relationships. In the best way possible, not as an insult.

Tom knew that he had fucked up. And he had been in New York for a while, though he hadn’t spoken to her directly, knowing that approaching her would only wound her.

It was colder now, Christmas was barely around the corner. In any other circumstance, it would’ve added to the romance.

Here it was just a bad omen of whatever would come next. The lights flickered as soon as they were walking past them.

“Are—are we not going to talk?” Tom questioned anyway. “I thought—“

Y/N shrugged. “I’m still deciding it, you see, I don’t know if I want to listen to you break my heart in an attempt of forged honesty.”

Tom dug his hands in his pockets. “I genuinely want to apologize.”

“And I genuinely don’t like you,” she snapped. “You see my problem?”

Tom sighed. “Fine,” he gulped. “But you are cold, that thing isn’t covering your neck or chest.”

Y/N had gone for a rather inadequate option for a cold winter day. Though Tom would agree that the black dress had been yet another punch to his stomach, all of course with an attempt to make him regret it, it was still rather unsuitable for the freezing city. But she looked stunning.

Her coat barely covered her, and her crossed arms were probably more of an attempt to warm herself and it served as a clear exposition of her anger.

She didn’t answer, however.

“You could wear this,” Tom offered, showing her the red scarf that once belonged to her. Tom liked to think that it now belonged to them.

The red scarf that had become a token to their relationship. From the very first day.

Y/N looked at it, and reluctantly took it. “It’s only because I’m cold.”

But Tom wanted to think it wasn’t only because of that. Wearing the scarf meant she was opening a door for him.

Seeing her again had been quite different from what Tom had expected, her hair was different and her makeup too. Her gaze seemed lost.

Whoever was standing beside him didn’t seem like her. She was a stranger, a very familiar one. But there wasn’t that visible spark that he’d fallen for. Not that he wouldn’t be able to love the figure in front of him but he feared he was the reason for its disappearance.

“It smells like you,” y/n whispered as she wrapped the scarf around her neck.

Tom smiled, briefly. “I’ve been wearing it. Your own smell wore out,” he regretted saying that. “That sounded way too creepy or cheesy.”

“Both, somehow,” she agreed. “Don’t ever say that kind of shit again.”

Tom gulped a chuckle, “noted.”

There was still that y/n in there, the one that liked the kind of cheesy things that he could say. The ones that came up at the right moment. Though, there was still that y/n that didn’t take any bullshit.

Tom hadn’t gone exactly through diamonds and sparkles after the breakup. And the city was now quite different from when it had first received him. Now covered with dark smoke and trash, with only skeletons of trees.

Guilt drowns. And Tom was, undoubtedly, drowning in a drought. Everything had dried off yet he felt like he could barely breathe.

Knowing you’re the reason for someone’s hurt is no fantasy.

And he was broken, too. Very, very broken. However, he knew he was seen as the bad guy here and he wouldn’t call himself less, and he wouldn’t admit he was aching too.

So he was trying to ignore it.

Her apartment building hadn’t changed. Not that Tom had expected it to, but it was nice to come to a familiar place. He noticed the stairs were still rusty and unclean and creaked as he walked in. New creaks had come in that he hadn’t memorized yet. He hoped he would have the chance to.

Y/N stopped at her door, with more questions than answers to give him.

“I really don’t know if I can do this,” she admitted to him. “But I know that if I don’t give you a chance to explain yourself I’ll never forgive myself.”

“That’s fair. But…I’ll do whatever you want me to, but please let me explain it to you,” he begged. “I—If you want me to leave New York and never come again I’ll understand.”

Y/N crossed her arms and leaned against the door, a red door that would open to memories he couldn’t quite forget.

“I already said I would listen,” she recalled. “But—“ her eyes met his, they looked tired. “I am having an inner monologue on why this is stupid.”

“Care to share?”

She took a heavy breath, “Well, you see, Tom, if that even is your real name…”

“Really? You’re—“Tom tried hard not to roll his eyes. “Yes, my name is Tom.”

“Tom….”

“Holland.”

“Hm, interesting. Holland, I remembered it being something else. You’re a liar, just making sure,” she said. “I’m—I just feel stupid. Because I shouldn’t be feeling this way for such a short relationship, is that even—was it? Can we even call it that?”

Her words felt bitter to Tom’s own tongue. He understood why she was defensive. “Yes.”

“Well, I don’t fucking know, maybe we confused whatever we were feeling with love, or—“

“I didn’t—“

“Could be easy, Tommy, you’re an actor, actors, as far as I know, act, and man did you play such an amazing role,” she snarled as she opened her door, leading the way. “Be quiet, by the way, I don’t want to wake up Lula or Jules.”

Tom walked in into what seemed a messed snapshot of how he remembered the place. It was the same, in essence. But sadder. The apartment still had a few sweaters here and there, and y/N’s notebooks all over it.

He could see Lula’s leftovers in their coffee table and some candy wraps that Julia had probably been eating while reading her book.

He turned to that one corner and saw it, the jukebox that had been what had defined y/n’s and his relationship. He dug his hand into his pocket to search for the locket y/n had given back. Tom squeezed it as he searched in his pocket for something else.

Guilt kills. And Tom was dying.

“Here,” Tom said as he reached out for three beer caps in his pocket, “I brought these to you,” he offered them to her, knowing there were jars full of them.

Y/N collected them. Or rather, it was her latest collection that she’d later use for her art. Or whatever she was into at the moment.

The apartment was small. It had two bedrooms which they all shared. They’d rotate whoever had the luck to have the single room. So small. And yet it felt so big.

Y/n pursed her lips but then took the beer caps and placed them on the counter.

“We’re going to the roof,” y/n said. “I’m just getting us some wine—No,” she shook her head, probably realizing that having wine would make the moment a tad more romantic or cuddly than she expected it to be. “Make yourself useful and make some tea, I’ll go change myself, I’m freezing.”

She’d brought blankets and a hoodie he hadn’t remembered he had left. They didn’t have to go to the roof, Julia was staying with Matt and Lula was not back yet from wherever she was.

She had stayed quiet, for a bit. Cuddled up in the same couch where they—

“Do you like your tea?” Questioned Tom.

She looked up. “Yeah, you can add that to your many talents. Right before lying.”

“I make better tea than lies? Good to know.”

Y/N shrugged. “How long have you been here?”

“A… few days,” Tom admitted. “I have been trying to walk up to your door but I keep getting lost in the subway, and when I did come here I panicked and cried.”

Y/N shrugged. “I thought I saw you, the other day,” she said.

“Oh?”

“It wasn’t you,” y/n confessed. “So I just yelled at a poor stranger. I—I genuinely feel sorry for him.”

Tom tried not to chuckle. “What did you yell?”

“I called him a bastard and asked what was wrong with him,” she scrunched her nose. “Not my proudest moment. I was kicked out of the bus.”

Tom gulped. “I’m sorry,” he took a deep breath. “You can yell at me if that helps.”

She shrugged. “No, I think I’m good, I let it all out with him,” she grimaced. “But I might just—“she picked up a pillow and threw it at him with barely any energy.

“Fair enough,” he nodded. “But I can be your punching bag, I deserve it,” he admired. “I see the jukebox,” Tom said, motioning to it.

She shrugged. “Yeah, would be stupid if you didn’t. It’s quite big. Barely any space left.”

Tom chuckled. “I meant—“

“No, no, I know what you mean. I’m trying to ignore it,” y/n admitted. “I notice it too, every day. Almost threw it away.”

Tom nodded. “Why didn’t you?”

“Well, it’s a very functional jukebox, the music on it,” she said. “It would be stupid to throw out something like that.”

Tom had expected a different answer, one rather more romantic. Like, that maybe throwing it out would’ve meant throwing him away.

“Right. I’m surprised the cops haven’t come for it.”

She smiled.

She… smiled?

She smiled.

Tom hadn’t thought he would see it again. So comforting. And genuine. Not forced.

“It’s not stolen,” she reminded him, “not really.”

Tom decided to smile back, but to himself. He couldn’t really look her in the eye.

“I guess I also kept it for the same reason why you kept that stupid scarf,” y/n added. Quieter now.

Tom took a deep breath. “It’s a fashionable accessory.”

Y/n rolled her eyes. “It’s been out of fashion for 10 years.”

“Trends come back.”

Y/N looked up. “Not when they're horrible, no,” she said with a heavy breath. “I don’t—“She shook her head. “No, we can’t do this.”

“Do what?” Tom questioned.

“Talk like you didn’t break my heart,” she snarked, gulping down her thoughts. “I always knew your heart never truly belonged to me, you know?” y/n said, holding to her mug. The tea was probably cold now. As so were they.

Tom was taken aback by that statement. “I—at the beginning—“

“No, it never truly did. Not completely.”

“I—“ but Tom didn’t have an answer to it.

The night was cold and New York was still awake. But it felt like it was them and only them even if they felt like oceans apart. He hated it. The first time he’d ever been truly lucky he had run out of luck.

Y/N watched him. “I always knew it was meant to be for a short time and I didn’t need anything more, I somehow knew that you’d hurt me,” she explained.

Tom had never meant to go this far. “I never meant—“

“Imagine if you had meant it though, how crushed would I have been. It wasn’t your intention, and yet I ended up crying on the floor,” she said, ironically

Tom couldn’t say more but an “I am so sorry.”

“I know you are,” she said. “I hope you are.”

Tom stared at her, “I am.”

Y/N directed him a single glance. “I don’t think you understand, Tom. This month has been the shittiest in my life.”

Tom didn’t have enough words to apologize. Or he had too many to say. Instead, he could word out anything.

“The worst part is that you also gave me the best fucking days of my life,” she continued. “So I’m at a crossroads here. Because there’s a part of me that thinks it was all bullshit and there’s also the part that knows it couldn’t be.”

Tom watched her. “It was not bullshit,” he said. “It was real.”

“That’s the worst part,” she pointed out. “I think, yeah, all of it being real then it makes it hurt even more because that means I lost the best thing to ever happen to me and you lost something so real.”

Tom nodded. “I lost the best thing to ever happen to me, too.”

Y/N was, without a doubt, the best thing he’d never looked for.

“Did you lose it because of me? Or did you lose me?” She quickly questioned, raising her brows.

Y/N was also a murderer.

“Well,” she took a deep breath, ignoring his sight as he was trying to know how to Answer. “You better start explaining yourself.”

“Before I—I… I… Right, well—Before I came here—I—Ella—“

She closed her eyes. “Actually, no.”

Tom paused, in fear.

“Here’s what we’re going to do, we will….” Y/N tried arranging her thoughts. “Tell me from the moment you hopped on the plane.”

Tom stayed quiet.

“I need to know how it looked from the moment you arrived, not… before, although I’m risking the fact you’re an unreliable narrator.”

“I am a terrible narrator,” he admitted.

Two months before the breakup. Tom’s version.

Tom remembered how little it had taken him to make the decision to escape. He had decided to escape from what everyone told him he should love.

With a backpack, his passport and a half ass made suitcase, he had hopped on the first flight to New York. No regrets as it had taken off. Sweet Escape airlines had been so kind to him.

Not telling anyone about it. To their eyes, he probably was only late to a party, and they’d see him in a few minutes with an excuse of an apology.

Yet, he was on a plane. Escaping from the perfect life.

They always said how lucky he was. Didn’t they? How incredible it was to have what he had. Because he had everything.

And he was running away from it. He watched the people on the plane, his seat was unflattering, next to an old lady who seemed to be rather impolite.

He remembered when he had made the decision to run out, the night before, a camera flash had blinded him and time had suddenly stopped. Just a few hours before hopping on the plane. Everyone expected him to do something he was not ready for. Everyone thought it would come.

Even Eleanor.

Especially Eleanor. Ella was probably counting only the minutes for his arrival. He had promised her he would be there.

No one could ever judge Tom for the decision he had made. Well, everyone would. But Tom liked to believe they couldn’t. As a technicality, that is. That they had absolutely no right to do it.

His parents wouldn’t be proud of it. Too bad.

Tom was nervous, though. The decision had been, undoubtedly, rushed. He hadn’t shown up to that early brunch.

Still wearing a suit, with a white buttoned shirt unbuttoned on his neck. He had still almost gone to that brunch in that FancyAss restaurante.

A brunch? He thought to himself. How incredibly out of character it seemed, he had become a caricature of whatever they wanted him to be.

Did he have to apologize to Eleanor? He didn’t want to.

He really didn’t want to.

He looked at his phone, Harry was calling him. A few other texts from his mother, too. Two missed calls from Ella. Probably wondering why he was late. He hoped they didn’t wait for him, for he would never arrive.

New York was a bit far from it.

The whole flight had been him trying to figure out if it was a good choice.

But he was given an ultimatum, and when those come you have to decide.

His decision was to go to New York. And it was the best choice.

It was, of course, but it was alright to doubt it. It was not likely of him to simply run away.

He didn’t have it all figured out. And that’s why he was clutching his backpack. He was chasing a dream that he didn’t even know he had.

Maybe that’s why he was running away. He didn’t know who he was. But of course he had heard it, how he looked like a million bucks. And he had said it to everyone else the night before, how the stars looked like diamonds in the skies.

He was making a name for himself, he knew that. Or rather, they were making a name for him. And he didn’t know who he was.

The flight was rather short, or maybe Tom barely had any time to think about it.

Running away from his own country, from his family, friends and from Ella, whom he barely had a title for right now.

The city was quick to receive him with bustling crowds, people pushing and rushing. But also opening up as he was walking in. Dancing around him.

How magical. He thought to himself as he tried texting Harrison, hoping his best friend wouldn’t mind receiving him at his place.

Tom managed to get a taxi that was waiting right outside the airport.

He hopped in and grinned to himself proudly. He was there.

With a new city ahead of him and no one expecting anything from him. With no one telling him what to do, with no one giving him an ultimatum and no one with orders for him.

“Where to?” Asked the taxi driver, as he stared from the mirror.

Tom, though he was not proud of it, was having a moment. “I’m running away from my life,” Tom explained. “don’t you ever get tired of the role you’re supposed to play? Like you were not meant to play it but now you’re too stuck in it.”

“Man, I'm sorry, I ain’t got no time for that kind of poeticbullshit, I need an address.”

The moment ended quickly. “Right. Sorry. I’m an idiot… uh, it’s this one.” Tom had to look up for Haz’s address.

“Every time,” the driver sighed, chuckling. “Why do y’all think New York is some sort of magical city that will give you the answer to whatever you’re going through.”

Tom’s smile widened sarcastically, “Well, isn’t it?”

“Guess it is, in a way, but I’ll tell you something,” the driver stated, “whatever you think New York will give to you, it'll be the very opposite. It won’t be what you want but it might just be what you need.”

“Oh really?” Tom chuckled, “who’s the one with the poetic crap now?”

“No, I’m messing with you, damn all you tourists believe that kind of thing huh? New York, concrete jungle where dreams are made of huh.”

“It’s what we’re sold,” Tom gave in.

“That sounds pretty, don’t it? To not get what you want but what you need.”

“It does.”

In a way, he was right. Tom would’ve thought he needed a break. To escape. That’s what he wanted right?

But what did he need?

The city welcomed him with a short rain, the water reflected the twinkling lights, as the shadows were reflecting the life he had left behind. The people rushed with their coats, as they were off to their lives. And it felt like he was finally breathing.

Although he would not share his thoughts with the driver again, Tom thought this was what he needed. A new start with no one that would judge him.

That’s probably why he’d chosen New York, the people are too busy living their own crazy lives to focus on someone so insignificant like him. He didn’t have to be whoever he was before, the pretty face, the cool guy everyone liked.

No, he was a guy in a stupid cab, and not to be worried if they said he hadn’t chosen a better ride, on a bigger car.

No, no announcement of whatever he was going to do on the papers because his dad had arranged it.

No, now he was but what he always wanted to be. One of those cautionary tales that they tell about people who go mad and escape and live.

He was a legend now.

Maybe they were right, he was lucky. He was lucky because he had finally made it out of there.

And he saw the lights, with Broadway shows waiting for him, with new adventures coming. With a new life that he wanted to create. The Broadway signs changed to Tom’s sight.

‘A very new life for the Lucky One.’ Starring Tom Holland.

A new beginning.

Maybe he was lucky. Though he never wanted to be in the spotlight. He constantly was, though.

Except, of course, for the fact that Haz hadn’t really answered his text the way he wanted to.

Haz probably didn’t believe Tom that he was in the city.

He would just knock at the door then.

“Well man, I hope whatever kind of role you want you get it,” the driver had said as Tom had hopped off.

Harrison’s building was far from fancy. Harrison had often described it as an ‘affordable pigsty’. Tom wouldn’t describe it as anything else.

But it was perfect. The perfect stage for his new charade.

Tom carried the now heavier backpack and suitcase up and was lucky enough that someone had entered the building so he could go up and show up uninvited to Haz’s apartment. If he could call it that.

He knocked, two times and Haz opened the door.

“Piss off, you’re not actually here!” Was the way Haz had decided to greet.

Tom laughed. “I fucking am.”

“You bastard,” Haz grinned before pulling his friend into a hug. “No way, I didn’t believe you. Man, I’m so glad to see you!”

“You too, man your place is…” Tom couldn’t finish.

“A pigsty but it’s home, I’ll make some place.”

And they had.

Haz had left a few years ago, with a dream in his head and a chance to make it. Or… a chance to get a chance to make it.

Leaving London had been quite such a simple decision for him. An inspiring actor that could’ve made it back at home but decided to leave for New York? It was stupid, honestly. Very anticlimactic of him.

But like Tom, Harrison had to escape before he was pulled in.

Just like Tom had been, tangled up. Tom’s ‘big break’ had yet to come but his family had managed to get him to the rising star he was.

He loved what he did, acting was definitely his true passion but not like this. Not buying his way into parts, not going out with someone so he could be considered. Hanging around with the right people just so they could get him a role.

Haz had gone for plays instead, and Tom knew he was fantastic. But he also had to get his big break. The industry had a funny way to say this.

“So, you just left?” Haz asked with a beer in his hand as he’d taken Tom to his favorite bar. Beers were cheaper there, and given that it was a Thursday, the happy hour lasted longer.

The bar was different from what Tom had expected. An old jukebox that was playing odd songs, colorful things. Very odd.

“I bloody just left,” Tom admitted. “What was I supposed to do?”

Harrison rubbed his face, “I dunno.”

“I couldn’t keep pretending,” Tom said, as he played with the bottle. “I—It wasn’t me.”

“But didn’t you just get cast in—something important?” He questioned.

Tom sighed, “Not for talent, no.”

He had seen a girl walk up to the jukebox and pay again to play “Twist and Shout” by The Beatles, she moved her head along to the song.

“Man, who bloody cares?” Haz rolled his eyes bringing the attention back to him. “You’re getting somewhere! You look pretty, you’re cool, and you’re getting somewhere.”

Tom knew where Haz was coming from. Things were going perfectly, one could argue. But it didn’t feel real. It was just a game of make believe where Tom had eventually been dug in.

“It wasn’t that,” Tom admitted. “Ella gave me an ultimatum.”

Harrison stopped, probably now understanding more why he had left. “And how do you feel about that?”

Tom stared at his beer. “Not how I’m supposed to.”

Harrison watched him. “One can only pretend for so long.”

“Yeah,” Tom sighed as he undressed the beer bottle.

“Does anyone know you escaped?” Haz asked.

Tom grimaced, pulling out his phone, turned off. “No, well, Harry knows, I told him I had left but didn’t tell him where to,” he said before unwillingly turning it back on, to show the billion notifications popping up. Multiple text messages, missed calls. “I need a new phone so I can keep this one turned off.”

“I think you should tell someone, otherwise they’re going to call the police or something,” Haz suggested.

Tom sighed, “Before I do let me go get another round,” he said as he headed to the bar.

Though Tom should’ve known right then and there that his life would change, he was very oblivious as he saw a couple. The beautiful girl sitting right beside… some guy. The very same girl who had played ‘Twist and Shout’.

She wasn’t smiling anymore, and Tom could only interpret her stare as something unpleasant. The guy and her were both stiff.

Tom couldn’t blame the guy because he was often criticized for also being like him. Not being able to make the beautiful girl beside him smile. Not understanding her worth and brilliance as anyone else in the room did.

She had dressed up, it seemed, just for her very date and he was just… there. The guy was simply an unuseful accessory adorning her side. His eyes were glued to the TV on the bar, a program that seemed to be very uneventful.

Tom often liked overhearing conversations, and this time wasn’t an exception.

“I recently discovered my new collection,” the girl said. Tom noticed the scarf on her neck,“I will start collecting bottle caps.”

The guy looked over, “Is it going to be for your new project that you’ll never finish?”

“I will finish it,” she said as she took off the scarf, now playing with it, tying and untying it. “And I’m going to ask Ben here to save me as many as he can.”

“Y/N,” the guy said. Pretty name, thought Tom. Fitting. “You never finish them.”

“Art is never finished, William,” the girl, y/n, defended again. “It’s only… abandoned.”

“My point,” The guy, William, rolled her eyes, “You never get through with them.”

“I do,” she defended herself. “You just never pay attention to it.”

Tom watched her frustration. Even then the guy wasn’t really into the conversation. He didn’t blame him, really. But he was more on y/n’s side.

“I think you should pay attention to more important stuff. Instead of wasting your time doing whatever.”

“Art isn't whatever,” she sighed, and then frowned, noticing Tom was watching them.

“I’m not saying it’s whatever, y/n, but you’ve got to have other dreams rather than collecting beer caps.”

Y/N looked away, “It’s for a painting.”

“A painting you’ll get bored of eventually, it’s always the same, y/n,” the guy was still too busy with his own beer watching the TV.

Y/N clenched her jaw but then directed her glance at Tom, still intrigued by the conversation.

Tom cleared his throat as he finally got his beers, the guy opened them for him but Tom asked for the beer caps.

“Sorry, I couldn’t help but listen,” Tom admitted before giving her the beer caps. “Good luck on your project.” The girl finally smiled as the guy accompanying her glared at him.

Tom shrugged and dedicated them both a smile before going back to Harrison. Had Tom been William he would’ve appreciated that someone made his girl smile, it was a waste not to share her smile with the world.

And Tom, out of everyone, understood what the girl had said, people bringing him down were always for him so to have genuine support from a stranger would help her. And him.

Yes never getting anything done but still having a passion for it was accomplishment enough.

“So what’s your plan?” Haz asked as soon as he was back. Tom watched the girl, still.

“I have none,” Tom admitted, watching as y/n and William were still arguing, probably now over the fact that Tom had left the beer caps. He didn’t feel guilty, even when both of them were pointing at him as the argument kept going. “I will just—Get a break for a few days. A well deserved vacation.”

Haz watched him. “Right.”

“You know, be a tourist,” Tom shrugged. “I—I dunno I just needed to get out,” Tom sipped from his bottle as his eyes were glued to the couple, now arguing loudly but not loud enough to be understood.

Haz followed his gaze. “What are you looking at?”

“Dunno, they’re odd,” Tom shrugged. But they weren’t really. He just saw his future, so uninterested to the girl beside him.

“Not really, you should get used to that,” Haz said. “But—You’re going to tell Harry, right!”

“Problem is,” Tom brought back the attention to Haz. “I don’t think Harry will be able to keep the secret.”

Harrison crossed his arms. “What are you really doing here Tom? You do realize that you’re hurting everyone—“

“Yeah, yeah fuck that, I know, I feel guilty. But—I can’t anymore. I couldn’t fucking stay there, not anymore,” Tom snapped. “It’s not Ella’s fault. Well not entirely but—“

“No, I know,” Haz rolled his eyes, “guess the perfect life can get boring.”

Harrison thought so too then. That Tom had the perfect life. How was it perfect? How was it really? Tom was not perfect. He was far from it, nothing about it was spectacular. He wasn’t living. Even though everyone around him thought he was having the time of his life Tom couldn’t help but feel miserable.

He wasn’t getting what he truly wanted. He didn’t enjoy the roles he was getting or the parties he was attending. He was far from what his dream was. And though his ‘breakout’ would come eventually and he’d have the chance to be who he wanted to be, it wasn’t coming any time soon and he doubted that he’d be able to be happy.

Or maybe he would be. He needed a break.

Tom caught up with Haz, his life, his misery and whatever the conversation led to, it’s fair to say that Tom’s head could barely pay any attention. His decision was sinking. He’d escaped his life.

He saw the girl from before leave, with the guy following her with frustration.

“They’re gonna break up,” Haz said watching them too.

Tom saw the girl had left the unfashionable red scarf behind.

He expected them to come back for them but they didn’t.

Eventually, Tom and Haz left. Tom picked up the scarf. He tried to say that it was a little reminder that he’d helped someone. He had actually been drawn to it. He couldn’t explain why. So he kept that idea.

Of course, he’d seen the red scarf and then regretted instantly taking it. Haz had judged him too.

“Why the fuck would you pick up a stranger’s scarf?”

“Because.”

The next day, with very little sleep and a bit of a headache from the jet lag and the beers, and after telling Haz he’d be productive, he decided he wouldn’t be and instead he wanted to visit a museum. Again, he was unsure as to why he wanted to go there. Lately he only followed his instinct.

But then again he had escaped so he could do whatever he wanted, and going to a museum seemed like something they’d never expect him to do. So that’s what he did.

But of course, he didn’t know much about art or anything so he decided he’d end up at the MET. Where else would he start?

He had planned getting on the subway but he decided he didn’t have time to memorize it and he didn’t want to look like an idiot so instead he took another cab. He didn’t tell the drivers this time any poetic bullshit.

When he got to the MET, he was immediately lost. Tom had this stupid habit of never knowing where the hell he was.

He didn’t mind this time. He would take the time to explore, to think to himself. To stare and read and to learn a little.

How ironic it seemed to be at the place where so many people were at. Basic, maybe but he was still enjoying it.

The big walls and endless exhibitions were making him feel small. And he hadn’t felt that way in a while. He liked that.

His path wasn’t being decided and he only followed his heart. He got to the musical instruments exhibitions.

A piano made him stop. It resonated with him. In some sorts, or it was interesting enough for him to make him stop.

“That’s the oldest surviving piano,” a voice mentioned from behind.

Tom blinked, realizing he had stared too long at it. “Oh?” He looked back at the voice and though Tom did not believe in coincidences he couldn’t help but think this was an oddly magical one.

The beer cap girl from the night before.

“Yeah, it dates back to 1538 and was created by—pardon my pronunciation—Bartolomeo Cristofori, the Italian man who is credited with inventing the piano,” she said, staring at it too. Her hair was slightly messed up. Wearing an overall that was covered with slight paint stains, a white cardigan over it.

“Oh, I would’ve never thought that,” Tom said. “It looks old.”

“Yeah,” she hadn’t looked at him, she was too entranced by it, her arms were crossed. “It's very old.”

Tom stared at her instead, how weird it was. He should’ve brought the scarf. No, that would’ve been weird, weirder than taking it.

“So you work here?” Tom questioned.

“No, I’m just incredibly good at lying,” she stated.

“Wha-what?”

“That fact I gave you, yeah that was a lie,” she grinned and finally turned to him. She tilted her head.

“Oh it sounded… very real,” Tom felt like an idiot.

“Yeah, I’ve worked on that for a while, lying to tourists, you’re my first one of the day,” she said. “So, a pleasure lying to someone with an accent.”

“It sounded very real,” Tom cleared his throat.

“I know, it’s a real fact, just slightly twisted,” she grinned. “I gave you the date wrong.”

Tom coughed. “Oh.”

“Yeah, and you straight up believed me,” she grinned. “The date is right there yet you listened to a random weirdo,” she grinned.

Tom blushed, “well, you sounded very—“

“No, don’t feel bad, it’s an art, lying to people,” she grinned.

He nodded in agreement.

She watched him curiously, “Do I know you?”

Tom faked to not recognize her. “I don’t think so.”

She narrowed her eyes, examining him head to toe. Then stopping at his face. “No, wait, were you at Bennie’s Beer Garden last night?”

She had recognized him.

“Uh—I was at a bar,” he decided to fake ignorance. “Oh—“he snapped his finger. “Wait are you—?”

“Beer cap girl, yeah,” she smiled. “Yeah, that was me, but I looked better last night.”

Tom smiled, “No, you look fine.”

“What a coincidence, thanks for the beer caps, by the way,” she chuckled. “How weird, and now you’re the first one I lie to.”

“It’s a pleasure, thank you,” Tom laughed.

“You must think I’m crazy, collecting beer caps and lying to strangers,” she blushed now, stepping back from him.

Tom did think that. In a good way. The girl seemed to be whatever he wanted to be: a fucking weirdo that don’t give two shits about anything in life.

“Surprisingly, no,” Tom shook his head. “I would lie to people instead if I was good at lying.”

Ironic, it seemed. Didn’t he make a living out of lying? Didn’t he technically lie his way through life?

“Yes, it's very tiring work, people say they don’t like being lied to,” she said. “I do, that’s why I love reading whatever is trending on twitter.”

Tom cackled, and turned his attention back to the piano.

“I’m y/n, by the way,” she mentioned casually.

“Tom,” he answered simply.

Y/N nodded. “So, Tom, what's your favorite lie supplier?”

“I watch movies,” he said, “or celebrity gossip.”

“A classic,” Y/N grinned. “Yeah, we all choose the lies we want to believe, I guess.”

“People like that, believing lies and feeling like they’re true,” Tom gave in. “Especially if they’re pretty. They help us escape reality.”

Y/N nodded slowly, and smirked. “We are getting deep now, huh?”

What the fuck did New York do to Tom that he randomly said poetic bullshit to strangers. He was embarrassed. “I—sorry.”

“No, no, I like that,” y/n was excited. “I guess you’re right. Lies are a way to cover something.”

“Yes, sometimes lying means protecting,” Tom bit his lip.

Y/N tilted her head. “Is it really?” She didn’t want to agree. “I would say lying is a way to actively hurt someone.”

“Well, were you trying to hurt me with your lie?” Tom challenged.

She licked her lips, defeated. “In a way,” she gave in. “I was trying to misinform you. So.”

“Well, what if the truth hurts more?” Tom questioned.

Y/N took a deep breath. “Then it’s a paradox.”

“Excuse me,” Someone interrupted them. “I’m sorry, y/n? I thought you weren’t coming today.”

Y/N smiled, “oh yeah, I wasn’t, I just forgot something in my locker and decided to walk around.”

The other guy turned to Tom. “Did she give you a fake fact?”

Tom chuckled, “she most certainly did.”

“Y/N, you can’t keep doing that,” the guy warned her. “You’re gonna get fired.”

Y/N grinned as she watched the guy go.

“I thought you didn’t work here,” Tom chuckled.

Y/N smiled mischievously, “I do, just another lie I said to you. You’re very lucky, two lies in one.”

Tom chuckled. “huh. Yeah, lucky me.”

“Yes, now if you’ll excuse me, little British man,” she grinned. “I’ll go lie to other people, nice lying to you.”

Tom grinned. “Yeah, yeah, nice… believing your lies.”

“Enjoy the Met,” she grinned. “Hope I get to see you again, thanks for the beer caps.”

“Thanks for the… lies,” he said, watching her leave. Maybe he was lucky.

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rinarecommends · 3 years

Text

Serotonin - Sero x F!Reader

Serotonin is thought to regulate mood, anxiety, and happiness in our bodies.

italicized text is meant to be spanish, however, I don’t speak spanish, and I didn’t want to try to google translate and it be wrong. Latin sero is KING though.

Nobody ever wants to be a cliche, right? But here you were being one. You became roommates with Hanta Sero a little over a year ago, and you slowly fell in love with him, irrevocably in love with him, but you were determined to suffer through it because you were sure that he would never feel the same. He was a HERO for crying out loud, a damn good one. He could have anyone he wanted, with his neat quirk that may or may not bring about not so safe thoughts, at times, and his spanish accent that would make any man or woman drop their pants, especially when he was mad, but it wasn’t just that. He was caring, always trying to save the day and people. He would give someone the shirt off his back if they needed it, it’s just who he was. He was loving, especially towards his friends and family, if the pictures hung all over the two bedroom apartment that you guys shared were any indication, even if one of those friends was a blonde asshole who was the epitome of anger in human form. He was everything you wanted, and all the things you never thought you needed all wrapped up in one person. It wasn’t really a problem, living with him while being in love with him. He didn’t date because he was too busy with hero work, so you didn’t have to see him with other women, or even think about him possibly being with someone else, until today.

Today, you woke up like any other day. You ate the same breakfast. You did the same morning routine, except when you walked out of your room, you walked into sero arguing with someone over the phone, in spanish. You could tell it was an argument because of the language his body was using.

“I know his ideas are normally bad, but I can not think of any other viable option, Kirishima. I need these feelings to go away, look at her and look at me, she 's perfect and she deserves someone just as perfect.”

He angrily hung up the phone and drug his fingers through his hair in frustration, and that’s when you decided to pipe up to let him know that you were in the room with him.

“Hanta, are you okay?” You said making him jump in surprise, and he turned to you, forcing a smile on his face, but you could tell it was forced.

“Everything’s fine. I was just talking with Kaminari and Kirishima, and they said something stupid that set me on edge, that’s all. Anyways, Goodmorning Sweetheart.” You felt your body flush at the usual pet name that he gave you, it always made your heart flutter. You smiled brightly at him.

“Goodmorning Cellophane.” You teased at his hero name. He rolled his eyes and scanned the room, searching for something. You could tell he found it when his eyes lit up like a christmas tree. He sighed in relief, picking up the hero belt that he had finally found after searching for it the whole time while he was on the phone, but it was just his luck for it to be hiding in plain sight.

“I’ll be out later tonight than usual, so we won’t be able to watch movies like we usually do on friday nights. Sorry Sweetheart.” He said with his back turned to you. Your heart dropped to your feet. You always looked forward to the movie nights that became a ritual for you and him. If you didn’t know better, you’d consider them dates.

“Oh? Work Event?” You asked with curiosity, wondering what could drag him away from movie night, knowing it had to be something related to work.

“No, not this time. Kaminari has set me up on a date with a girl he knows, and I told him I’d go. Give dating a shot, y’know, get back out there in the field.” He rambled out, but you weren’t paying any attention. As soon as the word “date” left his mouth, your heart crumbled after each word thereafter. You forced a smile onto your face while your heart broke into a thousand pieces while screaming at you to stop him, tell him how you feel, but you let it break and silenced its screams, letting your brain convince you that it was not a good idea. Letting him know you had feelings for him could mess everything up, and you loved hanta, loved living with him, loved being his friend. You didn’t want to ruin that.

“That’s great, Hanta. I am so happy for you.” You were not happy. You knew you should be. If this was what he wanted, you should be happy for him, but you weren’t. You wanted him to want you, wanted him to love you.

“Yeah. I think it might be a good thing. Everyone needs someone to love them and be loved in return, right?” Yes. Yes they did.

“Right!” You said with enthusiasm that you could only hope sounded genuine. He smiled at you one last time before he walked out the door, headed to work as a hero.

Once you knew he was gone, you sighed, but it came out shaky and before you knew it, you were crying, sobbing really. You felt this sharp pain through your heart as if something was squeezing and would not let go. You knew in that moment, you were experiencing real heartbreak, and the only thing to do when you’re heart broken? Call your best friend.

It rang twice before she picked up, and if you weren’t so upset, you’d smile because you knew you could always count on the ever reliable Mina Ashido.

“Yo Bestie.” She said as she answered, her typical nonchalant greeting for answering your calls. You opened your mouth to say something to her, but all that came out was a sob.

“I’ll be there in ten.” She said without you having to say anything, hanging up the call quickly to get to you. You let your phone fall out of your hand, clattering to the floor. How could everything go to hell so fast? You were living peacefully with the man you were secretly in love with, with no problems in sight, now he was going on a date, and it felt like the end of the world.

She made it in eight. She came into your apartment with you on the couch sobbing, hardly able to catch your breath.

“What Happened, Y/N?” She asked, quietly, needing to know what the problem was, so she could hopefully fix it, hating to see her best friend in this condition.

“H-h-he’s g-g-going on a-a-a da-a-a-te.” You stuttered out between your sobs. You didn’t say a name, but you didn’t have too. The thing was that your feelings towards Sero was evident to everyone but him, and apparently Kaminari who kept trying to set him up with girls, and his feelings for you were evident to everyone but you.

“He told you that?” She said to you, all you could do was nod.

“And you’re letting him?” She asked, making you look at her. What did she mean letting him? You didn’t have a choice in the matter of whether or not he goes out on a date. You weren’t his girlfriend, just someone that was hopelessly, desperately in love with him, who happened to be his roommate. It was like she could read your mind, and maybe she could, you had been friends since you were kids, friends throughout highschool, even though you weren’t at UA or in a hero course. She’s the reason that you were able to score this roommate when you were desperate to get out of your family home. She’s the reason you were able to meet Hanta at all.

“N/N, you have two options here, and I am going to tell you what they are, honestly, with no sugar-coating bullshit. You can let him go out on this date, ignore your feelings forever, be insanely upset as you watch him maybe fall in love with this nameless, faceless girl, or maybe he won’t, but then there will be another one after her, and another, until he finds “the one,” and you can wallow in all the “what if?” scenarios you can come up with about your feelings towards him and how it might’ve played out if you had just said something, or you can open your eyes, and see that you are “the one” for him, and say something to him. Tell him how you feel. Then nothing has to change. He will either let you down gently because he’s not an asshole like our neighborhood #1 hero that is also an angry pomeranian, he’s SERO for crying out loud. He’s either gonna let you down gently, or he’s gonna return your feelings, but it’s a chance that you’re gonna have to take because I know you. You’ll regret it, in the long run, if you never tell him.” She took a deep breath after that monologue. Your tears continuously dried up as the words poured out of her mouth, and you felt silly. Why were you so scared to begin with? Was it rejection? She was right. Sero wouldn’t be harsh if he didn’t return your feelings. Was it the fear of change? What would really change if you confessed? You’d still be friends, if he didn’t feel the same, and you’d still be roommates, even if it’d be awkward for awhile.

That’s when you decided. You were going to tell him how you felt. You were going to take a leap of faith and just go for it. Mina was all about living carefree and with no regrets, and she was right, when you thought about it. You would definitely regret not telling him.

You nodded at her and gave her a small smile.

“I’ll do it.”

She sat down beside you.

“What’s the plan then?” She asked with a mischievous smirk on her face, and seeing that, you couldn’t help but match it with one of your own. Sero was certainly the love of your life, but Mina was undoubtedly your soulmate, two halves of the same hole.

“So here’s the plan…” You told her what your plan was, and she nodded along with you, agreeing with your plan, piping up when she thought something needed tweaking, and you two had a solid, doable plan almost an hour later. She left you to your own devices because she was on hero duty tonight, and she needed some semblance of rest to be able to protect the citizens at full potential.

You got dressed for the occasion and watched the clock until you knew he was almost due to clock out, and you called him.

Ring. Ring.

“Princesa. Are you okay? You never call me when I’m at work unless something is wrong.” He rushed out, answering after only two rings. Your heart soared when he called you a princess in spanish, and then it twisted in horror thinking that if you didn’t do this, that he’d call someone else that, or at the least, cease calling you that because what girl wants their boyfriend calling another girl “princess?”

“... I’m actually not okay, Hanta. I know you have a date, but can you come home before you go? I really need you.” You inhaled and exhaled slowly, trying to keep your breathing even from all the nerves in your body standing on edge.

“... sure, princesa. I can come home before then. I’ll be there in 20. I just have to turn in paperwork and stuff. Will you be okay till then?” You nodded even though he couldn’t see you and breathed out a “yes” to give him confirmation that you’d be okay for twenty more minutes.

You hung up with him and stood up, started pacing back and forth while looking at the clock. You were actually gonna do this. This was a pivotal moment. After this, there was no going back, only forward.

Pacing back and forth, time seemed to only drag on making those twenty minutes feel like an hour, until you heard hanta’s keys jingle in the slot, unlocking the door.

“N/N? Where are you?” He said as he opened the door, not noticing you in the small living room. You looked at him, and your heart clenched, in the best way. He was so beautiful. He looked tired from a day of hero work. His hair was still wet from taking a shower at the hero office, like he always did, hating coming into the apartment smelly and sweaty.

“I’m right here, Hanta.” You said making him snap his gaze to you. He looked you up and down, probably checking to see if you were physically okay, and when he noticed that nothing was physically wrong with you, he gave you a curious look.

“You’re not hurt?”

“I am. It’s just not a wound you can see.” you replied to him, trying to strain a smile, but not quite making it work.

“I don’t -” He started but you shook your head.

“Do you know her name?” You asked, words tumbling out of your mouth without you really being able to think about them.

“Who?” Sero said, clearly not realizing you were talking about the girl he was supposed to go out with tonight.

“Do you know what she looks like? Is she prettier than me?” You asked, making his look grow even more confused.

“I -” He went to say something, but you continued on with your tirade, not being able to stop the words coming out of your mouth now.

“I sat here today, and I just thought, how has he not noticed? Has he, and just chose to ignore it, but you’re not that kind of person, you wouldn’t blatantly ignore someones’ feelings. You’re a hero, acknowledging people and their feelings is a part of that job, but then you told me you were going on a date today, and my world stopped. It literally stopped because I was okay with it being unnoticed as long as nothing changed, but you dating changes everything hanta because I can’t just stand by and watch the man that I am hopelessly in love with, who just so happens to be my roommate, go on a date with someone that’s not me. Not without telling him how I feel. I don’t want to live the rest of my life with unanswered questions and thoughts about what could happen.” You sighed. Taking a breath, looking at him as you did, seeing him with wide eyes and an open mouth. He opened and closed his mouth as if to say something, but you could tell he wasn’t sure what to say.

“I love you, Hanta Sero. I love the way you care about people in your life and people you don’t even know. I love the way you try to make sure I am okay when you get home, even though you’re the one that is out there saving lives every single day. I love the way your eyes crinkle and you have a little dimple when you smile, and I mean really smile. I love the sound of your laugh. I love the way you smell when we cuddle on the couch while watching movies because I get cold so easy. I love the way you play with my hair when you think I’ve fallen asleep during the movie, when the truth is that I just pretend because I don’t want you to stop. I love how smart you are and how you continue to surpass everyone’s beliefs about you because you’re so great and no one ever sees that, always doubting you. I see that though. I see you, Hanta, and I love you just the way that you are.” You were so into your thoughts and feelings that you weren’t even aware of the huge smile that had made its way onto his face. You just kept talking.

“I know I’m not the greatest. I get upset easily, and I’m not the smartest. I’m not athletic, and I’m a decent cook, but nothing noteworthy, and there are probably so many people that would be better for you, who could love you better, take better care of you while you’re out there saving the world, but instead of dating someone that you don’t even know, that KAMINARI picked out, is it so far fetched that you never even consider dating me, when I was right here, all along? Was I not even a thought? No matter. I’m here. I’m pouring out my feelings, despite my intense fear of you rejecting me, and I’m asking you, pleading with you to pick me. Pick me, hanta. Choose me. LOVE ME. If you just do that, if you just choose me, I’ll spend the rest of my life showing you that you made the right decision, that I’m worthy of your love. That I -” You were cut off by the feel of lips slamming onto yours, words dying in your throat as the band that was stretching so tight, finally snapped. You had kissed guys before, but it had never felt like this, no one’s lips had ever felt like they were made just for yours, but his did. They fit together with yours perfectly, in sync, as the kiss went on and on, and you never wanted it to end, but it did. He slowly pulled his lips away and took a breath.

“Please. Stop talking. I wouldn’t want to choose anyone else. How have we both been hopelessly in love with the other and never noticed each other’s feelings?” He breathed out. His words made your stomach flutter with butterflies and instead of tears or sobbing, laughter, unadulterated laughter, flew out of your mouth, making him laugh along with you.

“I guess we’re both blind when it comes to feelings, huh?” You asked, smirking, and he nodded as he leaned in to kiss you again, and everything melted away, your brain flooding with serotonin.

#Rina Writes #rina speaks #Rina recommends #sero hanta x reader #Sero Hanta #latin sero #bnharem collab #bnharem #fluff #slightly angsty #please dont hate this #bnha fic #bnha fanfiction #sero fanfiction #reader insert

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papers4me · 3 years

Text

Fruits Basket Manga Review , ch 112 & 113 (part 2)

I hate that this chapter is cut... mainly cuz it deals with the most “ horribly presented” theme in furuba anime.... grief.

-The shame of grieving: “ Rarely discussed theme in Literature”:

When a love one dies... ppl differ in how they deal with it. Some cry their hearts out, some become depressed & painfully lonely, others get angry or cynical, some might deny it, some move on quickly, others move on but years after the realization crushes them, others stay still... Above all, you feel ashamed of yourself if you didn’t move on or if you DID move on.. “ Sometimes ppl around you judge you for it... for your grief”

The later is the theme of these two chapters. Rarely discussed themes & it saddens me that it is cut. You see, Furuba anime doesn’t get grief at all. To them, it’s a small part of the generic protagonist after she finishes her job of nurturing the real main protagonist. Mothers are strong, they help us cross the bridge between childhood & adulthood. Tohru, the show’s mom, did it so thoroughly & in slow visual & narrative details for yuki. Afterwards, the anime brushed whatever is left of her character, which the anime viewed as sheer suspenseful drama, & collected it thro 3rd person story-telling techniques in one ep “ se3, ep6″ & excessive monologue for 10 minutes in se3, ep9.

In this chapter, Kakeru, a side character, sheds light into this theme. Kakeru didn’t lose a parent by death, didn’t grieve, has no dependent familial bonds with either dead parents “ kyoko & komaki’s dad”. Yet, kakeru stood & judged tohru on how she “ should” grieve. Harshly tearing her down while she’s standing there lonely, trying to hide her shock at the loss of her only pillar in life, broken & traumatized, dealing with the pushed down traumatic feelings from her past where her mom abandoned her as a child..now her mom did it again, this time thro death.. & kakeru, rightfully not knowing all that, but wrongfully lecturing her on how to behave... kakeru isn’t a monster, but he only saw what he wanted: komaki & how the world should grieve with his lover, how he should be the hero protecting her. So self-centered, insensitive, horribly cruel & unbelievably conceited, but above all... what he did is so sadly common... it hurts.

-Judging Grieving People:

As I said many times.. grief is so personal, so unique to the person & as common as it is, so misunderstood. According to kakeru & many ppl I’ve sopken to lately, tohru should have acknowledged komaki. Komaki, the not-traumatized version of tohru, did the right “ tohru-like” thing. Not only felt sadness at the loss of her own dad, but found it in her heart to visit the other orphan, tohru, & give condolences & respect to the dead mother. Such kindness & purity. Very deserving of applaud: To not only see your pain but others’ as well. Tohru has always done the “ right, kind” thing to other ppl. When she can’t now, the author brought another “ tohru” to do the “ right, kind” thing.

Kakeru is so many ppl. During my brother’s funeral. I’ve heard so many gossip on how my mom should’ve stood tall & greeted the visitors.” Being silent , emotionless & non-responsive is not how you show visitors you value their kind words”, they said. How his widow should’ve collected herself & acted properly, respected his memory by taking proper care of herself & her kids. “Being a broken mess is not how you “ honor” loved one”, they said. Kakeru is indeed many ppl & that’s how you discuss a theme by creating characters who sin, screw up & be cruel, even if momentarily.

Kakeru is wrong. There is no “ you should have” in grief. There is no ounce of truth in his demeaning lecture to tohru & I respect komaki for her reaction to him so much. Kakeru did learn & grew from it, apologized to tohru even if he didn’t actually sought her to do so & even if she herself started the apology. But you see, these two chapters are 90% focused on kakeru as a character, his growth, thoughts, the mini focus on his relationship with komaki as an example of healthy relationship & all that is another lesson for yuki to observe & learn. He learned abt tohru’s past, kakeru’s personality & growth & got to observe another example of romantic relationship so yuki can grow as a man & approach machi healthily. But then again... nothing at all stops yuki/machi from being healthy, no past issues, no contradicting personalities “ they’re quite similar” & yuki is the only furuba character that doesn’t screw up big. He learns & teaches. He’s the personification of the author.

-Tohru.. stays a “ tohru”:

Tohru’s part is 10% of the this chapter which is fine as I think/hope it will lead into more tohru depth in the following chapters. But It is for this reason I’m glad this chapter was cut in the 13 eps season of furuba anime, cuz tohru doesnt have much depth in the anime due to the quick wrap up & the la~~~~st thing I want is another 3rd person story-telling flashback abt tohru in the anime. Honestly, one of the most frustrating aspect to me of the anime & I’ll hold judgement abt manga- tohru till I reach its end. So far~~~ Tohru’s depth & character exploration gets better one chapter, then regress the next one, then moves on, the... it’s a fluctuating process. It has nothing to do with tohtu’s feelings.

you’ see ... kyo himself as a character with issues fluctuates a lot, he does sth good, then does sth bad, chooses right words, then makes a horrible mistake & chooses wrong! which is one of the most well-done aspects of character exploration that is rarely attempted by authors! I highly respect Takaya-san for what she’s doing with kyo in the manga so far. Other authors show us a character doing one big mistake & then he/she learns from it in a dramatic way. But Takaya-san, nope! she decided to approach it in a very human way, making us be frustrated with kyo’s repeated mistakes yet understands where he’s coming from! kudos to her!!

But I’m not yet satisfied with how tohru is portrayed in the manga & this has nothing to do with tohru’s character. Takaya-san is discussing rare themes thro tohru’s character. But what I mean is how tohru is approached thro the viewers/readers eyes. I wont judge until the last chapter. but this is the part that is frustrating to me.

Side Notes:

The flow of the 2 chapters is little off. We go back & forth between the past & the present, between yuki-machi & komaki-kakeru. Again, I’m so glad the anime cut it cuz, nope! they can’t handle such narrative. they’ll reorder it in a such heavily monologing way & insert the comedy abruptly to lighten the mood. Just look at how the comedy is inserted in momiji’s se03 ep!

Komaki is such a tohru with a sprinkle of kagura’s very softened outbursts. lol. she’s fun!

I’m liking yuki-machi interactions a lot. no drama, which is why the anime cut it -_-’, but it progresses healthily. Machi is yuki’s third-stage growth after (1) leaving tohru’s nest (baby yuki), (b) making friends with kakeru/someone who gets him (young boy yuki), (3) finding romantic love (being a man). The anime was so interested in the 2 stages above cuz that’s where the drama is & cut the third. Honestly, the anime didn’t have to include everything as there is never a space in 13 eps, but they certainly could’ve squeezed few panels or even made brand new very short yuki-machi scenes. but the anime weirdly decided after yuki “ saved” machi from her trauma by talking with her in her apartment, he should just marry her.... lol.. that’s why next scene is ep 5 momiji’s ep intro montage where yuki was abt to confess!!! making yuki-machi the least developed couple in the anime!

I love all furuba’s characters, but yuki, tohru, kyo & akito carry the big themes, therefore, I not only analyze their characters, but how the themes are presented thro them & how their presentation affects such themes. This might make it sound as I hate them or am harsh on them. not at all. It is the anime director/ manga author that I’m positively or negatively criticizing most times. Most importantly, my criticism is not the law. It’s just my perspective & my consumption of the material. Feel free to differ with me. I dont mind it. It brings interesting discussions!

When it comes to tohru’s issues... his chapter introduced nothing new. We have seen/read in canon repeatedly that tohru hides her pain behind a smile (heck! even kisa knows that & told us), that she cant stand up for herself much, that she smiles for other ppl not for herself. All this was presented thro so many characters already, which is why I understand the anime’s decision to cut it. What’s new? that yuki didn know tohru’s smile is mostly a mask & that kakleru has depth.

I love this chapter for the grieving themes it discussed that are rarely touched upon in literature, but since such themes are rarely presented, the anime’s decision to cut it, ironically proves my point! lol . They don’t get grief & so, they reduced it to se03 content & two eps worth. sad.. but expected. The anime is indeed another form of “past” kakeru: seeing one side of grieving person. The happy side.

#Fruits Basket #Anime Only #manga review #fruits basket manga #manga spoilers #sad paper #I love you little bro #I miss u

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boldlyvoid · 3 years

Text

Amoreena | chapter twelve

Chapter Twelve

main summary: Heaven is a real place and it's located exactly 14.6 miles away from the FBI, Quantico Headquarters. Off behind a small park, under a fantastical willow tree surrounded by wildflowers, in every colour young minds can imagine.

Don't forget, heaven also comes with angels.

Chapter Warnings: spencers mom has a bad day at the doctor's and so spencer thinks he's going to have a bad day too but he ends up having the best day of his entire life.

talk of pregnancy, celebratory sex, oral (female receiving), grinding, no penetration, serious deep talks after sex about their most depressive episodes, sharing trauma and making sure they know the other is loved regardless of what goes on in their mind. it's a rough one so read with caution

word count: 4.5K

from the beginning <3

He was up before Amoreena, awaking for the second time that morning to the sound of his alarm, kissing Y/N on the forehead before leaving their bed, she simply laid there and watched him get ready.

Most of his clothes were here now, every time he was near his apartment he brought more and more things home with him. Because that wasn’t his home, it hadn’t been for a long time, even when he lived there it was just a trove of books and a bed he slept on occasionally.

They were probably going to move all his stuff over in the summer, after the second wedding… after the girls meet Taylor, and hopefully when Y/N’s actually pregnant and not too sick or tired to help.

“Come here,” she whispers before he can slip out of the room, “kiss your wife.”

He can’t help but smile as he bounds towards the bed, jumping in and wrapping her up in his arms. He smothers her face in kisses, making her laugh, still half asleep as she let him manhandle her.

“I love you,” he reminded her.

“We love you too,” she replied with a smile, answering for Amoreena even though she was still asleep down the hall, “don’t wake her up yet, she needs all her rest for today.”

“I’ll be quiet,” he responds with a smile, kissing her again before he finally gets out of the bed, if not he would have stayed there forever.

He tiptoes down the hall and into Amoreena’s room, kissing her sweet little forehead lightly before exiting just as quietly. It was like he was never there.

He snuck down the stairs quietly, locked the door behind himself on the way out, and took off down the driveway in his old blue Volvo amazon, paying extra attention to the path for any kitties or Rufus out on their morning strolls.

It didn’t take long for a happy day to go sour when he was in a doctor's office with his mom. Those were the worst places he could go with her, especially on a bad day. Her mind was playing tricks on her, she really didn’t like hospitals or government buildings, even lawyers' offices stressed her out.

Today she was convinced he wasn’t really her son, Spencer, and that he was actually leading her to be a government experiment. It was hard to see her struggle, especially on a day they needed to ask her serious questions while she sat still. It was the fact she had to stay awake for 24 hours that triggered the episode, the EEG requiring her mind to be deprived of sleep. It was rough, she barely knew him. They wouldn’t have the test results for a while but he already knew it wasn’t good.

He dropped her back off at the home as quickly as he could, not able to deal with the verbal abuse any longer, he didn’t even say goodbye. The woman he dropped off was his mother on the outside but not on the inside today. It was really hard to look at her and know her, but not see that same look in her eyes.

By the time he’s returning to the farm, it’s 11:45 and he’s exhausted.

He finds Y/N in the bedroom, lying in bed in just a t-shirt and her underwear, completely sound asleep with the blankets thrown off the bed. She looks so beautiful, he slips out of his clothes to match her, sliding into bed beside her and just looking at her perfect face.

He presses a kiss to her shoulder that startles her awake, “oh god, Spencer!” she places her hand on her heart as she calms down.

“Sorry,” he smiles, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her in closer.

“How’s your mom?” Her tired words meet his ears and his smile dies.

“Not great, really don’t want to talk about it yet,” he was honest with her, snuggling in closer as she hummed in agreement to drop it. “How was Amoreena’s morning?”

“I told Amoreena I wouldn’t tell you, but I don’t need to you to freak out in front of all the kids or cry or pass out in front of all them, but there’s a positive pregnancy test on her all about me project,” she explains it like she’s about to say it’s just Amoreena’s from 8 years ago…

He pulls back slowly, looking into her eyes as she smiles wider and wider, “you’re pregnant?”

She nods her head as her smile gets bigger and toothier, she’s wrapping her arms around him so tight it’s like he can’t breathe for multiple reasons.

“We did it, Spencer, I made you a daddy again,” the words carry from her mouth in a beautiful tune.

He’s holding her back so gently, afraid to squeeze too hard and hurt her and the tiny little life that’s starting inside her. He’s silent, overjoyed but absolutely dumbstruck at the fact it’s real. A month ago he thought about walking into traffic after work and just seeing what happened, now he was a father of 2 with a wife and a happy farm and a life that was good.

A life he deserved.

All thanks to a beautiful little girl with an interest in dinosaurs and making new friends. Amoreena was an angel sent from heaven, improving both of their lives greatly, and now they were making another.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, oh my god yes, I’m just,” he didn’t know what words to say and it was evident. “Amoreena knows?”

She nodded softly, “she now knows girl parts make eggs, boy parts make sperm, and that adults have sex but you can only make a baby at 25, she really didn’t seem to be all that interested in the science, but she’s excited to be a big sister.”

“Wow,” it all caught up to him then, he placed his hand on her stomach softly, “hi little one.”

Y/N laid back against the bed, pulling her shirt up so he could see the barely-there bump, “It’s mostly leftover’s from Amoreena, but yeah, there’s another one in there.”

He couldn’t help himself from running his hands over the curve of her stomach, thinking about Amoreena being in there once upon a time and how tiny she must have been. It was even weirder to think that a part of her was once even in him.

“It’s strange to think that I jerked off into a cup and you made the most perfect kid on earth with it… it just feels like it doesn’t add up. She’s so perfect I can’t believe she was once a part of us both,” he can’t help but let his inner monologue seep out, she didn’t mind it, she loved hearing how his mind worked.

“I can’t wait to see you holding this little one,” her hands joined his on her stomach, the shape of her forefingers and thumbs making a heart over her bare belly.

Spencer leaned in and kissed right in the middle, beside her belly button, in love with whoever was in there already.

“Amoreena had a dream last night too,” Y/N cuts into his little moment, “guess how many sisters she said she had.”

“8?” Spencer can’t help but smile.

She nods, “I don’t know what it is about this house but the good dreams always come true, who knows how many babies are in there right now.”

“I hope just one for now,” he says in all honesty, “I really want time with just one little one, you and Amoreena. A family of four for a bit and then the twins, that’s how it was in the dream.”

“Did they have names?”

“You called them Elly, Junie, tho and Cordelia, and you said there were 3 sets of twins, two after Cordelia,” he remembers it all as if he was really there, whispering all the words against her stomach, his cheek resting on the band of her underwear as he laid between her legs with his arms around her.

“Amoreena, Elizabeth, Juniper, Theodora, and Cordelia were all the options I was choosing from last time,” she says with the widest smile, “how the heck did your mind know that?”

“It felt very real, which is why I was so worried about where I was, I don’t know how I could have missed anything but now I know that part was just my anxiety,” Spencer rationalized it. “Amoreena probably had the better version of that future in her dream last night.”

“I was having a great dream before you came back,” she teases him, running her fingers through his hair as he continues to kiss her stomach.

He loops his fingers around the band of her underwear, sliding it down just low enough to really kiss where that baby of his is hiding out. She lifts her hips into the contact, letting him slip them down her legs and completely off, she spreads her legs even more.

He takes his time pressing a kiss to every single inch of her, her skin is soft, her leg hair is prickly on his hands and his cheeks but it’s nice, he rubs his face against her like a cat marking his territory as she continued to scratch his scalp.

He spread her open with two fingers, he presses a soft kiss to her clitoris and all the way down to her opening before licking a wet stripe up the sensitive skin. The moan she releases is the loudest one he’s heard on her yet, it was really the first time he’s been allowed to really enjoy her.

“It’s important for your partner to help with the stretching in the third trimester,” she teases him, “but they don’t mention anything about starting too early being a bad thing.”

“I don’t want to disrupt anything in there,” he worries aloud, letting her decide if it’s okay.

“Don’t flatter yourself,” she laughed, “I don’t think you’d reach them, but if you’re really worried there are other ways to help.”

“Such as,” he asks, lowering his face back down to her wet heat, continuing to explore her with his tongue as he expects her to talk.

“You, um you can, shit, wow,” she props herself up on her elbows to get a better look at what he’s doing as she stalls for a few minutes, “just rub yourself over me, Spencer please, I want more of you.”

She grips him by his cheeks and pulls him up into a kiss, both of them rushing to push his boxers down and off his legs, she spreads her own once more so he can press against her.

His hard cock resting flat against her, rubbing back and forth as he spreads her wetness around with him. The head gliding over her clit just the right way as she held him close to her body, kissing down his neck and sucking marks all over his chest.

She was desperate for him and who was he to deprive her, so he rocked into her more, grinding down harder against her body and making her shaking lightly. It felt better, more intimate, more euphoric than any other sex he’s had, just being close to her had him on the edge faster than he expected to get there.

She’s chanting his name then, head tossed back against the pillow as she digs her fingers into his asscheeks, holding him so close to him he can feel her orgasm rush through her. She stills, bucking up into him one last time as he finishes all across her stomach.

His hands are curled around her cheeks then, holding her perfect face in his hands as he hovers over her, using everything in his power to not crush her or the baby. He’s trying so hard to steady his breathing, so is she, they just smile at each other, laughing lightly at how in love they are.

“I love you,” he says on impulse, “you’re so good to me.”

“Look at all the good you’ve given me,” she whispers, “it would be wrong for me not to love you for everything you’ve done for me, whether you were aware of it or not.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m not going to tell you about my depression while your cum dries between us like glue,” she laughed at how crude it sounded.

He laughs lightly too, rolling off her to see just how much of a mess they made. “Tell me in the shower?”

“Seems appropriate,” she agreed, taking his hand and following him into the bathroom.

He loved the old feel of her bathroom, the green linoleum and floral wallpaper, the pink towels and bright orange shower curtain, it was happy and bright and the perfect place to laugh for half an hour as they washed each other.

She has him pressed against the shower wall then, water trickling over them gently as she stares into his eyes, “I don’t know how to say it without it coming out really scary,” she finally resumes the conversation they were about to have in the bedroom.

“I’ve probably been in the same mental state, I’m not going to judge your method of choice,” he explains it in a way that she’ll know he really, really gets it.

“I had a few suicidal thoughts when my grandma went to chemo before I chose your sample and before I did all the hormones, I was thinking why should I stay and bring another life into my misery when I could just die first and not have to see her go through that anymore,” she sucks her bottom lip into her mouth as she stops, letting him digest all the words.

“Did you try anything?” He’s not sure why he’s asking.

She shakes her head, the best no he’s ever seen in his life. “My grandma noticed on my birthday when I wasn't coming down for breakfast like normal, I was really depressed and so we went out and talked and had lunch together for the first time in forever cause she wasn't feeling sick, I’ll never forget it. It was the best and worst birthday of my life.”

“I’m the worst husband ever,” he says, taking her by surprise, “I don’t even know your birthday.”

It makes her laugh, taking her out of the sadness as she realizes he really doesn’t judge her, he gets it completely. “January 16th, 1986, three minutes after Evan,” she manages to say it with a smile.

“That’s the date Maeve died,” both of them stare at each other in shock, wondering just how many other coincidences they had out there to figure out.

“How many days after did you donate?”

“On the 19th,” he confirmed without taking a breath, “holy shit.”

“We both were suicidal on the same day,” she covers her mouth with a wet slap, laughing at the worst thing she’s ever said, it’s the shock and the emotions of everything catching up to her right then and there.

“Oh my god,” he laughs in response, both of them laughing as they hugged in the corner of her green shower. “we are fucked up.”

“Soulmate things,” she shrugged, holding him even tighter.

He wished she could see his face then, the looking that overcame him as he heard the word soulmates. She just called him her soulmate. He licks his lips, taking it all in and almost hyperventilating, she can feel the way his breathing changes as she looks up with concern.

“What?”

He shakes the thoughts out, swallowing sharply as he makes eye contact with her, “nothing.”

“No, I know that look Spencer, what did your brain say to you this time? I will go in there and kick its ass,” she pokes his forehead then, threatening his anxiety to fuck off.

“I never thought I’d get to hear someone say that to me, it’s stupid,” he felt too vulnerable suddenly, sky and closed off.

“Who hurt you?” She asks in complete curiosity, wanting to know why he can’t imagine someone loving him.

“My parents,” it slips out before he can catch it, “I love my mom. I always have to preface that, she did what she could but it was nowhere near enough. I don’t hold anything against her, I just hate that that’s how it was, that she had bad days at all because they always shine brighter in my memory than the good days.”

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have pushed you,” she worries this time, seeing the hurt on his face and feeling like she fucked up, he can read her micro-expressions easier than anyone else.

“I would have told you soon enough, my dad left because of my mom's illness and he made sure I knew he didn’t want me. I don’t care that he kept up with me on the internet, the fact he didn’t even care to let me know he lived 10 miles from me my whole life makes me feel sick. I was 14 point 6 miles away from Amoreena this whole time and I would give all my fucking organs to go back in time and be with her from day 1, I don’t get how he could just not love me?” The rant comes out of his mouth for the first time ever, the same thoughts that have been there building for 40 years bursting at the seam.

She reaches behind them to turn off the water then, stepping away from him while he cools down a bit, “Yeah, no I get it, I hate him too now. That's so fucked up, honey, I'm so sorry.”

It makes him huff out a laugh, “I’m sorry, you’re not my therapist you don’t have to deal with all that.”

“I’m your wife, I deal with that regardless. In sickness and in health remember?” She reminds him, “depression is just as real of an illness as cancer. I don’t want you to keep these thoughts from me. I want to know about every paper cut, every splinter, every bad thought that crosses that beautiful mind because I love you.”

“As long as you always remember that too,” he makes sure that she knows he feels the same. “Don’t keep anything from me thinking it’ll ruin the happy atmosphere of this kingdom, Amoreena would tell you that a castle is only as strong as its weakest brick. If you crack we all tumble.”

“My foundations are strong, if not Derek’s a renovator right?” She raised her eyebrows, making another joke. They were always going to be okay.

“Speaking of, how are we going to house all 12 of these children you plan on having?”

"We, smartie pants, we are having," she tosses the shower curtain out of the way then, stepping out and wrapping herself in a towel, “I was thinking we add a few more rooms, nanny and pop were always adding on to this place, it would be nice to fix it up a bit.”

“I can see if Derek wants to help, or we can find a contractor?”

“Well, Alli still has another 8 weeks till her baby comes, so you might as well do something with Derek here in that time,” she agrees with a smile, “my nanny left everything to me, so I have a decent amount saved still for whatever you guys think the house can handle, I just want it done safely, and it has to match.”

She was bossy, he loved every second of it. “Yes ma’am,” he smiles as he steps out, drying off beside her.

Y/N couldn’t stop smiling at him as she watched him fluff his curly wet hair in the mirror, “how would you like to go out and get our first kid a big sister present before the graduation?”

“We never had a chance to read on Saturday, would you want to get her a big sister book and read at the tree?” Spencer suggests, making eye contact with her reflection in the mirror, even backwards she’s beautiful.

She nods with a smile, “sounds great, daddy.”

He wraps his arms around her before she can leave the room, kissing her neck and shoulder as she squirms, trying to get away from him but failing on purpose. “Spencer, seriously we have to go.”

“Then don’t call me daddy,” he whispers in her ear, and he can physically feel the way it excites her.

“We will revisit this later,” she says with a stern look as she pulls away finally, dropping the towel on purpose as she walks towards her new closet.

She was going to be the death of him, and hopefully, that wasn’t for a long time. Hopefully, he thought right then and there, that the moment he finally does die, he dies is beside her. Happily in his sleep, as they’re in their 90’s, and in a perfect world she’d slip away with him.

“Can I ask a dumb question?” He rushes the words out, taking her up on that offer of hearing all the bad thoughts.

“Always,” she smiles.

“When we get to heaven, stay with me? Pick me instead of Stephen for the forever part?” He’s not sure why he’s crying, or why he’s thinking about it. But it’s where his mind went and she said she’d always follow.

She tilts her head to the side, dropping her shoulders as she sighs, “we can set Stephen and Maeve up with each other.”

It makes him smile, she always knew what to say. “Who knows, they could be the reason all this happened.”

She nods then, “I like the thought of that, they deserve to be happy together, I’m sure they would like each other.”

He really believed they were soulmates then, that something bigger set up all these dominoes and he was so excited to watch them fall. To see where they landed, the beautiful pattern that they would reveal. The wonderful world he was creating with her was always going to be amazing because something greater than them said so.

—

She looked more beautiful than he’s ever seen her as they rolled up to the school. She was physically glowing, her hair was perfect, her dress laid over her stomach in the right way that he could see proof she was with child, even if she called it leftovers from the last one. It was his favourite part of her, it was where she made the best person they knew.

They walked around to the back gate, hand in hand, smiling wide as they walked into the little classroom. There were balloons and streamers everywhere, they had little cupcakes all set up and all of them were in matching blue caps and gowns.

Amoreena waved at them when she saw them, not allowed to leave her seat from where they were practicing their ceremony. It was unbelievably adorable, Spencer couldn’t help but be that Dad who took a million photos on his cellphone. He was never going to miss another moment.

JJ wrapped her arm around him sneakily, startling him as she hugged him, “hello Spencer Reid, father and husband,” she teased him. “Still weird thinking of you as a dad.”

He wanted to tell her, but she’d know soon anyway once she saw the all about me project, “shit,” Y/N says from behind him as she realizes too. “Tell her.”

“We’re having another one,” Spencer whispers in JJ’s ear before she can even react.

She smacks his side as she pulls back, staring at him with her mouth wide open. The same face Henry made when he saw Y/N for the first time, completely shocked and nervous, “oh my god?”

He nodded, “we’re not telling anyone, I was supposed to find out on her all about me project but she didn’t want me to pass out in front of all the kids.”

It made JJ laugh, shrugging as she agreed with the idea, she pulled away from him and wrapped Y/N up in her arms, hugging her ever so softly. Y/N closed her eyes and pressed their cheeks together as she accepted the thank you, knowing JJ was just happy to see Spencer succeed.

She placed a hand on Y/N’s tummy before pulling away fully, “I always hoped I’d see the day where Spencer made a little genius, I still can’t believe Amoreena is his sometimes, that hasn’t really hit me yet, but this… this is real. I’m so happy for you.”

Y/N cried a little, wiping her eyes as she laughed it off, “okay, sorry this is a big day for me, my first baby is graduating, this baby is trying to grow a heartbeat, it’s all a lot.”

“I get it, believe me,” JJ agreed, placing her hand on Y/N’s lover back and holding her close to her side. Bonding in that moment, making Spencer’s heart swell.

“Where’s the cowboy?” She changed the subject, looking for Will.

“Oh there’s a case in Kentucky, I missed Henry’s graduation, so I’m here for Michaels while he’s on the case, it’s only fair,” she explained with a smile, content with how their life and relationship worked.

“Do you want to sit with us?” Y/N offered, pointing at the folding chairs, taking a seat with JJ in the front, sitting between her and Spencer so she could talk to both of them before the ceremony.

It was lovely having them become friends, his first love and the last one he'd ever have.

They passed out tissues (thank god) before the ceremony, Y/N and Spencer both using at least 5 as they watched Amoreena get her tiny scroll of paper, move the string on her hat to the other side and then wave at them. Spencer took at least 100 photos of her, unable to stop how proud he felt that he made her.

What Amoreena failed to mention was that she was chosen to be the class valedictorian, surprising them with a tiny speech at an even tinier podium. It was so cute, both Spencer and JJ recorded it to remember for later.

“My class chose me to talk to everyone because I’m the oldest, lots of my classmates like to think of me as an older sister,” she smiled right at her parents, hinting at the fact she knew when she thought Spencer didn’t yet.

So he played along, looking surprised at the word choice.

“I’ve had the best two years with all my friends in this classroom, Miss Kennedy was the nicest women they could pick to make sure we learned everything we need to before grade school starts,” her words were definitely chosen by her, possibly reworded by her teacher but definitely from her heart.

“My mom taught me the alphabet, she taught me how to spell and count, she taught me lots of things that miss Kennedy taught in here, at first it was hard being the kid who knew more, but then it was fun getting to help everyone else learn,” she continued with the most enthusiastic voice, going off-script as she thought of more. “My dad, though, he’s taught me how special our family is. How special it is to get to meet new people and learn about the world with them, I’m so glad my parents made me so I could learn with all of you these past 2 years.”

All the parents were crying, she was able to touch the hearts of everyone around her. At the age of 7, she was more well-spoken, more understanding and grateful than any of the adults in that room.

“I’ll see you all on the big kid yard next year!” She cheered, jumping up and down and clapping, all her friends rushed to the stage for a big group hug.

His little girl was so unbelievably loved, the way she deserved.

tag list: @shemarmooresfedora @spencers-dria @spookyspence @reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @samuel-de-champagne-problems @jswessie187

#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid self insert #spencer reid request #criminal minds smut #criminal minds imagine #amoreena

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hauntedfalcon · 3 years

Text

deplorable lack of kissing aside? I’ve waited nine years to see Dev Patel on a horse with a sword and a year and a half for this movie specifically, and let me tell you, I was NOT disappointed

he played such a lil shit and there I was tearing up because he’s so beautiful and so good! the man can truly pull off any role

they squeezed a two hour movie out of this thing by giving the other actors an ungodly amount of time to deliver their lines, filming what appeared to be the entirety of Iceland, and letting Alicia Vikander monologue for some reason

that's not a complaint! it's a movie you see to soak up and vibe! a visual feast! absolutely stunning!!

but for a few minutes it felt like we could have had a very different movie that was more like a series of vignettes about all the other stuff Gawain did on the way that the poem handwaved, and I would have given a lot to see that movie

which is to say the bit with Erin Kellyman was great, there was a story there, the humor was gentle and the audience is left saying "oh he's a real knight after all" and then we go smiling into the rest of the movie knowing something he doesn't know yet. I could have gone for half a dozen more like that. Kellyman and Joel Edgerton brought the most groundingly human influence aside from Dev himself, and kept the whole movie from reading like a bad cave 'shroom trip

have I mentioned Dev Patel? there was a Dev for all seasons! if there's a particular way you've ever wanted to see Dev Patel, he probably does it in this movie!

crying? they've got that Dev. drunkenly brawling? they've got that Dev. having a panic attack? on several occasions. soaking wet? yeah buddy. wearing fucking gorgeous clothes? absolutely. in a crown, head heavy with the weight of rule? you know it. staring soulfully as he struggles to process what he's gotten himself into? MANY times. did I mention on a horse? he spends a lot of time on a horse. holding motherfucking Excalibur with barely restrained awe on his face? yeah

it was a veritable Dev fest. god it feels so good to see him carry a movie like this, I'm gonna start crying again hold on a mniut

okay we're back. being fresh on the poem I recognized all the departures as... if not necessary, then let's say expedient for the purpose of an adaptation that doesn't explain fuckall. by the time they speedran past FIVE WHOLE KISSES, it was clearly because they were out of time to wrap this shit up. which doesn't excuse it by any means :c

also being fresh on the poem, I recognized most of Lowery's references more as easter eggs for viewers who are familiar with the poem. also fine! the movie is allowed to be its own thing judged on its own merits!

as its own thing it gets a 10/10!

as a thing for which I had high hopes regarding Dev Patel kissing a man six times, I am obliged to dock points for cowardice from all involved, and call it a 7/10

absolutely worth waiting a year and a half in either case. I want to see it again right now

#The Green Knight SPOILERS

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gnfkitten · 3 years

Note

my favorite part of warrior cats is the grotesque story of squirrelflight, ashfur, and the extended cast of cats that sound like they came out of an ajj song

this gal named squirrelflight flirts with a guy named ashfur a few times. typical 80s romance song. its quick, its fleeting. squirrelflight gets together with brambleclaw. its all real lovely. brambleclaw gets promoted to leader after squirrelflights dad goes into retirement and makes his deputy the chief. brambleclaw is now bramblestar

(before the promotion and after the marriage, brambleclaw leads the entire 4 clans to a new territory. not relevant. he also stabs his brother in the neck with a tent stake)

and then squirrelflights sister leafpool, who is a medicine cat and sworn into celibacy, has sex with a guy from windclan named crowfeather. this is something all the cats are sworn not to do. double illegal.

crowfeather is a bit of a whore because he was previously in love with another girl who went on a magical journey with him when he was a child. (brambleclaw was there for that too. brambleclaw is eternal and everywhere) the girl crowfeather was in love with got impaled by a falling stalagmite while protecting a tribe of savage feral cats with names very similar to english translations of a few native american names i know. interesting. racist? there was a mountain lion involved

yeah so they have sex and leafpool gets pregnant. but since she did two crimes in one she gives the kids to squirrelflight and pretends they belong to her and brambelstar. theres an uncomfortable birthing scene because the kids decided to emerge from her cat uterus in the middle of a snowstorm. this is very telling of their characters after birth

theres three kids. jayfeather lionblaze and hollyleaf. jayfeather is very angry. lionblaze is angry but in a brave way. hollyleaf loves rules. they are a legendary trio

theres a thing about superpowers, and a prophecy or something. jay is sickly and blind and can see peoples thoughts. lionblaze never loses any fights, ever, and he maims ashfur a little while theyre trianing. hollyleaf doesnt have any powers, but she is absolutely obsessed with the warrior code and gets caught up with a guy named sol who says the world is gonna end. none of this is relevant except the "bootlicker hollyleaf" thing

ashfur is stewing. ashfur has been stewing for years now. long enough that they literally brought all 4 clans across the continent to a new territory kind of stewing. hes lonely. he misses the girl he was madly in love with, and shes married to the coolest guy in town. hes in agony. (over in windclan, crowfeather has a new girlfriend. manwhoring as long as he lives)

theres a big fire. thunderclans entire territory sets on fire. everyone is escaping, except for squirrelflight and her three kids. jayfeather, lionblaze, and hollyleaf, who is contemplating becoming an antivaxxer or something

imagine this: a clearing on the edge of a pit. the pit is where the cats live. everything is on fire around this clearing. there is one log running across the clearing, and squirreflight and her fake kids are going along it to escape. theyre the last out

ashfur appears he stands at the other end of the log. hes pissed. hes crying. he hates squirrelflight. he hates her so much. his rage is all consuming, like the fire that burns around them. he says he wants her in as much pain as possible, and he knows how: taking the only thing she loves in this world. her 3 kids

we all know something ashfur doesnt. the kids arent hers. squirrelflight, though non an omnipresence, is gifted with this knowledge herself.. she sees ashfurs twisted evil mind and tells him, flat out that they arent hers. she doesnt love them. he can kill them, they mean nothing to her. they are, after all, just her sister leafpool's. why would she care for them?

ashfur is stunned. he gives up. he leaves. squirrelflight and her three kids leave. its a bit awkward. imagine the thanksgiving dinner table after a particularly bad argument. thats all this is really

anyways. hollyleaf is broken from this. shes the daughter of a medicine cat and a manwhore from a clan that only eats rabbits. she cant take it. much like ashfur, she snaps

there are these big clan meetings, once every month. everyone goes, except the old people and the dying people and the kids who just want juiceboxes and lunchables. thunderclan is heading out to the Meeting Island. they find a body in the river. surprise! its ashfur

they go on to the gathering despite finding the body of one of their finest, most mentally haunted warriors polluting the stream with the blood seeping out of his slit throat. the three kids are there. squirrelflight is there. leafpool is there. bramblestar is there

this story has very weird heathers energy to me. its there, but it isnt coherant. like a bad remix of 100 gecs, sort of. this part is no exception

hollyleaf runs up to the big tree the clan leaders stand on and monologue. shes not allowed to do this. perhaps the sense that she lost her identity with her illigitimate birth turned into something real, that the warrior code didnt matter anymore. perhaps she was just tired of being kind; she wanted to go apeshit

she confesses. to two things. number one - the muderder of ashfur. how tragic. number two - leafpool. leafpools affar with crowfeather. squirrelflights lies to her for her entire life. theres chaos. thunderclan is like stan twitter after a minecraft youtuber said something racist 8 years ago. the 3 other clans are trying desperately to get in on this drama. the hot tea of the hour if you will

hollyleaf says her share. she runs away. lionblaze and jayfeather chase after her all the way back to the thunderclan territory. she yells at them. she runs into a tunnel and gets crushed by rocks. thats the end. shes dead.

jk jk that was a lie shes alive and shes living in a huge cave system with a ghost cat. remember the native american coded mountain tribe? yeah, they had ancestors. the ancestors lived at the territory the 4 clans moved to after squirelflight flirted with ashfur and before she got together with bramblestar. they used to drown little kids in the tunnels. jayfeather is the entire reason why the ancestors moved to the mountains and became the racist mountain tribe. i wont explain the timeline of this, and i dont think i could if i tried

up above hollyleafs slowburn romance with a transparent cat, theres a new girl with superpowers. prophecy fulfilled yadda yadda. her sister is annoyed that she isnt #quirky and so she joins a fighting cult run by the cats in hell. i cannot stress this enough its literally every cat from the 50 some books before this who went to hell. they have an army of children. theyre training them. the sister kills one of her classmates and becomes equals with the hell cats. my second favorite plotline in the series

the hell cats come to the land of the living. the sister betrays them. theres a big battle, and its supposed to be the end of the series but you know theyre gonna continue it for at least 20 more books. (they did). hollyleaf appears, and i dont think its ever explained how or why. but shes back, and she joins the battle. everyones too busy with the literal hell cats to care much about some kid with a body count of 1 appearing randomly

hollyleaf fights a bit. she gets mauled to death. thats the end. its just over. she dies and she doesnt come back. rip to a queen

i think my biggest question besides why would someone create this ad continue to do so for fifty plus books, is how the fuck brambleclaw stabbed his brother with a tent stake when he literally doesn’t even have hands. what.

#hollyleaf was a queen gone too soon #thank you for telling the plot of all fifty books i can finally know #warrior cats spoilers #maybe?#would anyone who follows me actually have that tagged?#long post

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jjkyaoi · 3 years

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hi. i figured that while i’m on that crime boys grind, that i should. cracks knuckles. pop off with something that makes yall cry, so

i’ve been rewatching the wilbur tour stream with tommy recently, and there’s some things i noticed about what c!tommy had to say to his chat about getting wilbur stone that i haven’t seen people talk about much? and because i’m thinking about it —and, honestly because i’m sort of tired of the ppl misinterpreting how c!tommy feels about c!wilbur— i’m just gonna. does my silly little dance. use my big boy brain and talk abt it

“nonono, i know about the manipulation, i don’t *care!* cause he doesn’t think i can! ....which, obviously i can, so i’ve obviously proved that— but it’s not *about* that! i know he’s trying to manipulate me and it won’t *work.”*

so, here it’s obvious that c!tommy is struggling about how he feels about the interaction he’d just had. he seems to be slightly caught up in the fact that wilbur doesn’t think he can get the stone, and that’s something that he has to remind himself “isn’t the point”, but *also,* the fact that he later on says this;

“and he would be impressed with me, which, admittedly would feel nice, cause it’s—cause it’s nice... and it.. it doesn’t matter, though, but it—it *would* be nice.”

clearly, all the bad past experiences he’s had with wilbur has lead him to distrust the man— has lead him to view the man as somebody who “can’t be trusted” no matter what and somebody who “hasn’t changed since pogtopia”, especially considering later on he goes on to say this

“cause he’s gonna start another *thing.* and if he thinks l’manberg.. was just a way so he could get in....”

“oh no. i’m gonna have to— he’s gonna destroy the server, if he likes dream.”

clearly, wilbur’s earlier interactions— the things he said to him, whether they be true or untrue about l’manberg and dream has lead to tommy not trusting him even more— or, the words had such an affect on him/hurt him to the degree where it’s doubled down on the little trust he has for c!wilbur, and hearing wilbur openly admit that he likes c!dream, the man who’s been tormenting him to no end, puts him in tommy’s “enemies” category— makes him think that he’s gonna destroy the server and he’s gonna have to go against him, whether he likes it or doesn’t like it or whether it be true or it isn’t.

c!tommy is currently,,, conflicted on how he feels about c!wilbur, to say the least. we don’t know the interactions he had in limbo with wilbur, but it caused his view of the man to go from apprehensive to aggression. even saying *this* to ranboo and tubbo in the revival stream.

“do you think i liked wilbur? is that what this is about?”

and when ranboo goes on to say,

“*the* wilbur? like, your friend?”

tommy responds,

“we are not *fucking* friends, ranboo.”

beforehand, if tommy were to be told that, he wouldn’t have such a violent reaction— he wouldn’t have dismissed his ally ship with wilbur completely, wouldn’t have said that they weren’t friends entirely. tommy’s main motivation in the past was dedicated to wilbur— the *real* wilbur, so it’s confusing yet, if you think about it, there’s some reasons for why he could react so violently against c!wilbur.

going back to the limbo interactions. there’s like, what, some canon months worth of interactions we didn’t get to see in there? we only got to see *one* interaction out of months worth, but when c!tommy came back he didn’t seem— he didn’t act like the interactions were very pleasant. it’s off screen interactions so there’s plenty room for interpretation, but c!tommy has hinted, multiple times that whatever interactions he’d had with wilbur in there weren’t good, even to the point of begging c!dream to not revive wilbur, when beforehand the most he’d been about c!wilbur’s possible revival was nervous, even going so far as to say that he’d be his *friend* just so he doesn’t revive wilbur, and in the revival stream c!tommy was looking genuinely scared at the possibility of wilbur being back, going “you don’t understand, *wilbur’s back”* in a tone that, obviously couldn’t mean good things or isnt said in a pleasant way.

tldr. a part of tommy things wilbur is going to do something dangerous. this mistrust/believe is a combination of all the unresolved trauma he has from wilbur from the past, the off screen limbo interactions, and c!wilbur unintentionally adding fuel to the fire by saying that he believes his literal abuser is the hero and that he didn’t really care for l’manberg —which, i don’t believe is true - in the least, but regardless, isn’t a good thing to say to c!tommy— which is just a huge heap of garbage onto “the reasons why c!tommy doesn’t trust c!wilbur, the saga”.

however, this doesn’t mean i’m saying c!tommy thinks wilbur is completely irredeemable/thinks he’s the spawn of satan, either. he doesn’t trust him, yes, but there’s *care* there, like the tangent c!tommy went on about how it would be nice for c!wilbur to be impressed with him for getting stone/possibly praise him; he still searches ofter the man’s reassurance praise and, probably always will, because c!wilbur had sort of always been a guidance figure for tommy for so long. c!tommy currently doesn’t trust wilbur, but there’s also a part of him for yearns for the man’s praise and his attention, which is the reason why he got the stone so quickly, though he furiously said that “wasn’t the point”.

and also, c!tommy’s entire monologue about “not giving up on people” to foolish, to which he said that c!wilbur wanted people to see him as the villain, iirc, which is. Interesting. to me, because it’s clear that he still hasn’t gotten completely rid of the “c!wilbur is the villain” mentality in his mind, but from that sentence alone he’s trying to understand c!wilbur more, and also his whole speech about how “if you care about somebody, don’t give up on them”. c!tommy’s feelings on wilbur currently are complicated, but he’s always been willing to follow him to the ends of the earth— he’s always trusted and loved that man with his entire heart, so that basically means that, yea, he still might think c!wilbur is a bad guy and not entirely trust him, but he also isn’t going to give up on him. and he’d said he “didn’t have it in him to save the server before” so it makes me think that 👁️ maybe he’ll just try to convince c!wilbur to the “good side”? thinks he doesn’t think he’s on the good side?? perhaps??

i don’t know. i’m just thinking about them. c!crime boys make me so very Emotional there’s so much - to them and i just ,,,, hold it gently. c!crime boys how do u manage to be one of the most bittersweet dynamics on this server

#mcytblr: relatively quiet #me *kicking down the door thinking about discourse we’ve already dropped awhile ago*; I HAVE SOME THOUGHTS #listen to my brain worms #long post #anyway it’s 9AM i don’t know if it’s worded right/i’m too lazy to proof read this shit u take what you can get /lh #mcyt #mcytblr #dream smp #tommyinnit #mcyters #dream smp spoilers #/rp #/roleplay #wilbur soot

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cat-scarr · 3 years

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A Deconstruction of The Flame Keeper’s Circle & The Audience’s Common Complaints | Catgirl

As the title states, I’ve been reminded of a couple complaints made about this episode that stem from a large portion of the audience’s general disliking of the way both Ben and Julie were handled during the run of Ultimate Alien. In fact, I recently read a "review" of “The Flame Keeper's Circle,” or, more of a parody, actually, since a review would actually have some kind of substance to it and not just...a slew of insults thrown at a show you claim to like. It's almost like you're looking for something to be mad at, but anyway.

One of those was the OP actually asking someone to (probably joking, but anyway) explain "how Ben's mind works" to them.

And I was like, gladly!

According to the comments under the review, it seems like the general audience didn't really like this episode all that much when it first aired. Which, I bring up because, I on the other hand, actually did. And for a reason: because it proves my previous defence points right.

There's a lot of talk about Ben coming off as a “jerk” or a “douchebag”...but, in a situation such as the one presented within “The Flame Keeper’s Circle,” I would argue he did exactly what he should have done. So that's where I beg to differ.

This episode puts Ben in a position where he, once again, needs to deal with the overlap of a romantic relationship and his priorities as a superhero. The only reason there is conflict here is because they are both important to him.

A bad boyfriend would only care about himself, but Ben clearly cares about not only the safety of his (clearly, quite naive) girlfriend, but also the safety of the rest of the earth. Which, as I’m going to be stating several times, should be something expected of him considering everything else within the series that establishes who he is as a character.

So, on the topic of things that are important, ask yourselves, why would Ben prioritize going along with Julie's idea of joining a cult more than keeping her, and the rest of the world, safe when he realizes the trouble she could potentially be getting herself into?

Throughout the episode, and the fandom’s discussions from what I’ve seen, there is so much focus on "oh, he laughed at her idea so he's a douchebag and therefore a bad boyfriend" and not enough focus on the fact that he's not blindly following an alleged “good cause” because he isn't naive and that's in character based on everything we know about him as a character.

Context matters. And this kind of thing only further makes me question the people who want to cry "inconsistent" writing or characterization because he's acting the way he's been conditioned to.

Arguably from the age of ten, Ben's been dealing with situations where he needed to fight to survive and decide who to trust. Sometimes he trusted the wrong person, which wasn't done out of any other reason besides wanting to help and do the "right thing."

For example, Michael Morningstar in the episode “All That Glitters,” who fooled Ben and his team into thinking he was innocent all while abusing school girls for their life energy and almost killing Ben's cousin.

Or, Simian in “Birds of a Feather," who fooled Ben into thinking he was royalty and into helping him steal something that would aid the Highbreed in their mass murder plot.

In that way, Ben and Julie could have related in this situation because they were both trusting people in the interest of doing something “good.” Both Michael and Simian made Ben believe that they had something in common, or a common goal they could work together to reach. But, he trusted them blinded by his ambition and drive to save the world. Much like Julie is blinded by the promise of being a part of a group trying to make the world a better place.

As such, Ben has made the mistake before, so he's extra weary of how things could go very wrong. He's not against his girlfriend just to be a “jerk” - he's been through things like this before, and we’ve seen him go through those things.

Furthermore, the situation in which Julie is trusting The Flame Keeper’s Circle involves her indirectly agreeing to work with Vilgax. Who, as anyone familiar with Ben should know, is one of if not Ben’s biggest, and more importantly, most dangerous enemy.

Again, she, at the beginning didn’t know that he was involved, or what Ben had gone through already to make him act the way he does in this situation, but she does know what his job entails at this point in the series. She should probably infer that he’s suspicious for a good reason, as should the audience.

Not trusting people blindly is something he learned from being the leader of his team, while trying to protect the earth, namely from the Highbreed invasion back in Alien Force when he was putting together a stronger team. It would only make sense for him to then apply that to a situation in which his significant other gets roped into that which he fights against.

Speaking of fighting against, that brings me to another odd criticism of the writing of this episode. It’s no surprise that the flawed belief of Ben coming off as an alleged “sociopath” is brought up again, considering this episode takes place after The Ultimate Kevin arc. And yes, I realize the problematic connotations of using that term as a borderline insult as part of the issue here. But that aside, in this episode, the fact that he begins to fight Vilgax in his apparent “weakened” state is what is being attributed to that description.

Besides the fact that defending Vilgax is questionable in itself, he’s never needed water to survive for the many times he actually tried to kill Ben. I can’t find a solid answer from a writer that knows for certain if his need for water is genuine except for one who is only assuming that is the case when he’s in this state.

But regardless, (since he clearly survived long enough to morph with Dagon and become a bigger threat to the earth later on) we are still defending Vilgax the LITERAL INTERGALACTIC WARLORD.

Y’know, the guy who’s only in this position because of his own immoral actions? Who absolutely would not hesitate to take advantage of his opponent's weakened state in order to further get away with his immoral actions? Such as he is in this very episode, taking advantage of the people wrongfully worshiping him?

If we are trying to imply that Ben is “just as bad as Vilgax,” then I would assume you’d easily find the flaw in that being Ben’s motivation for incapacitating a dangerous offender who is, at the moment, manipulating naive humans to work for him and help him continue get away with his immoral actions. Which is, needless to say, not the same as Vilgax, at all.

Again, you’d think that’d be obvious.

The Flame Keeper’s Circle’s mission is to end human suffering and find a solution to certain issues happening across the globe with the help of alien technology that is much more advanced than what everyday people are used to. And, while the end goal seems like a good cause, even something Ben as a superhero would be all for, the means through which they attempt to get there aren’t a good idea, at all.

A lot of people find it hard to navigate the use of technology considered advanced by human standards in the real world, so you can only imagine the various things that could go wrong if those kinds of people were suddenly exposed to something much more powerful. In short, a lot could go wrong.

Again, Ben has been in that exact position as soon as he was armed with the Omnitrix. Which is exactly why he’d see the flaw in what these people are trying to do, and therefore not be convinced that it’s such a good idea to allow them to continue, much less endorse it.

This is why I love when the writers actually allow Ben to speak for himself instead of cutting him off for drama or plot. Once he actually gets a word in, or more accurately, has his moment of heroic monologue, he makes himself very clear and, I think, only further proves what I’m trying to say about him.

Here he is, explaining exactly what I’ve been trying to highlight throughout this body of work:

Ben: “Even if Dagon was real, using alien technology to accelerate a planet’s natural development won’t bring utopia, it’ll bring disaster. It’s happened before. Why do you think the Plumbers have those laws? But even that’s not the point, because that isn’t Dagon! His name is Vilgax. He’s not a hero, he’s a selfish, evil warlord who’s using you. And if you let him get in his ship, he’s going to fly off and start an interstellar civil war.”

It’s not that only he can use alien technology to save the world, it’s that his status as a hero proves that he knows what he’s doing, unlike these businessmen in fancy robes leading a cult for profit.

That is not what I would have assumed reasonable people would consider “douchebag behaviour.” That’s actually smart, and going back to my first point, exactly what he should be doing in a situation like this.

The actual episode does end off on a positive note for both Ben and Julie, which is omitted from the review and most of the comments I have read from others on the topic. And, I bring it up because it’s actually vital to wrap up everything brought up within this episode that I have just expanded on. Not only because they make up and seem to understand each other’s perspective after all is said and done, but because they both agree to be open to further discussion on the topic, as Ben offers to go out for dinner.

Which, needless to point out I hope, but once again, is not “douchebag behaviour.”

#new essay to make up for all the drama lately #enjoy ben 10 protection squad <3 #ben 10 #ben tennyson #ben 10 ultimate alien #the flame keeper's circle #benlie #julie yamamoto #ben 10 uaf #essay files #and yes new essay title format cuz reasons :P

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clandestine-j · 3 years

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Gossip Girl Reboot, EP. 3

Review/Reaction

alright, we're here for ep 3 reaction and thoughts &

man, i must say, DRAMA.

love it. i'm going to try and make this short but i fail horribly at stuff like that soooo lets see how this will go. i think imma split it into three groups! adults, kids, other random shit.

adults

you know what? i was here for most of them. people talk about zoyas dad bad acting but he was fine in his little scene, i'm happy that he's forcing zoya to take time with obie or whatever. i know people hate her dad and zobie but it was a little nice scene.

i'm really loving julien's dad. i'm glad he can own up and apologize and i get where he was coming from. honestly 10/10 so far, i love the relationship he has with julien and how's he's learning to cope with her becoming an adult and seeing it happen.

fucking love max's dad and the whole family dynamic thing before it went to shit. obvi, the one day is shitty but his other dad, lovely, i love their relationship. parents are winning in this ep.

teachers? JAIL (maybe not rafa but we'll still see). honestly, i'm not hating the teachers being gg, i like that they put gg out there for other private schools so i'm enjoying it but still JAIL. JAIL. JAIL.

our mains

we didn’t get to see much of monet but her little blow up motion at the end was funny and when the chick offered her name, monet said no. queen. and home girl accepted it.

luna was #theebest from her doing the zoya glow up. i think everyone agrees that her holding up the phone is a fan favorite. luna is my best one liner girl. her delivery is on point.

obie, more of obie, i know people don’t like him but he’s an alright character for me. i see potential but we need to flush him out a bit more. i hope to see more of his interactions with aki, give us the friendship. i want him to take what he learns to heart.

zoya, yes girl, pop off. i guess she can when it comes to her passions but not to her. (just be catty once back) i love that she did call luna when it came to the hashtag and she realized who she couldn’t be fairly quickly. i wonder if the play wright is the new friend.

julien! honestly, she really is a queen and i’m loving her pushing back against monet and luna more and more. i also love the scheming and her night out with max. they’re great together and i just wanna see more of it. (all of the friendships) i also love her relationship with her dad. i like that they talk and work things out and while he shouldn’t have lied, i get why and i love that he thought about her so much.

idk how to even to the next few but here we go.

honestly, i found aud and aki funny this episode. their reactions were so alike but so different. the awkward wave and everything. i get that they’re lying to themselves but damn, if they could find a way to spice up their sex life they’d be good. i find them so cute as a couple when they’re all cuddly and just ugh. guys. talk. i will say that after though, when they met in the hall way, i like that once it was out there, aki was straight to the point. honestly, if they broke up...i don’t think it’d be bad, i think they’d be good friends and understanding of each other.

i saw people saying that they didn’t give enough (aki) but max was on his monologue shit and i think they were in two different mindsets. aki didn’t look blank, he looked pissed. and i would be too lowkey, you say you don’t wanna be in the middle of it but then you put yourself, right in the middle. and aside from the kiss, i don’t think aki tried anything more with him unless it comes out that he did. but a few days passed (julien jetting around) so i don’t if they were that thirsty. audrey probs thought that in that moment, she’d really lose aki and that’s what brought her too tears. i think aki already accepted what might happen and was just pissed while audrey, even when she told julien about it, she was disconnected in her head about what she had done.

max was a rollercoaster this episode. from the taking julien out to posting her with the coke to making the plans. it’s was all chaos. i think the moment i felt the worst from aside from the break down? when he didn’t realize the trouble with his parents marriage at the table but we could all see it. that was heart breaking and my dude though, his planning was on ten. making the profile, switching the seats, the hands on the thigh (aki licking his lips) and then his break down and just telling of the truth, exploding, spilling the tea. whatever you wanna call it. it was wonderful and his reasons for doing it, so childish and backfired but you get it. he just wanted the truth out with his parents and it all went to hell. really, heart breaking but amazing for the show and his character development.

my man is still messy though, even without telling the business. like aud and max were in a relationship but those were yo friends my dude. you legit blocked aki from sitting next to his girlfriend, im crying. (messy and he knows it and aki liked his lips. sick.)

now random thoughts that had no real place

audrey’s actress makes these strange faces sometimes...idk...it’s funny to me because i’m wondering why

the scene when max’s dads and rafa met, jesus

would you spell it buffl-ho?

it’s the least you could do

did aki say shenanigans, boy you are a kid

the moment with max and his dad, still, thinking about and it still cute, all cuddly, idk if the og parents were like this but i love it

since we’re getting mostly reasonable parents i expect the worse ones to pop up soon

the way monet delivered that brad line, it sends

why would he put her doing coke on

aud / aki had reasons to think max would blab because he’s messy

my boy aki flirting with other dudes as rafa

i could see aud asking aki to make out with any boy while she watches, so guys get it together please

how did obie not see aki stops talking and suddenly look at max

i wonder if someone has tried to take advantage of max because those words hit too hard

those teachers really set home girl up, omg, JAIL.

aki needs new friends who’ll love his movie drops. he just gets bullied into things, maybe it’s his kink i won’t judge but he couldn’t change by himself, pushed into the bathhouse, the profile, obie won’t let the group chat name stick #stopgettingbullied

aki’s & max’s relationship summed up into one tweet, he really likes this boi, once i’m SICK (click the sentence)

i haven’t loved all of at school looks but i really liked juliens at the end of the episode

was the music transitions a little jarring to anyone else?

thanks all for now, just my minds ramblings as normal. i could go more in depth about all of this but i’m sure ya’ll are sick of reading it now.

#gossip girl reboot #max wolfe #aki menzies #julien calloway #luna la #c;gg

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worstloki · 3 years

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The Sylvie Show

this got a bit long so i'm putting it under a cut but basically it's episode summaries of what i would do if the loki show had sylvie as the main character instead, since I do think the plot of the show would be better suited to be focused around her rather than 2012 loki. I've tried to keep it so that a lot of existing canon shots/sets/scenes can be reused.

episode 1: the show opens up with young Sylvie on Asgard. The TVA appear and drag her towards a temportal. She wakes up from the apparent nightmare, gasping heavily. cue title card and cool music. a portal opens within a church, sylvie interrupts the man giving a talk on religion, questioning what he's saying with roundabout logic and being generally witty, even managing to incorporate giving a bar of gum she had in a pocket to a child sitting on an aisle seat who is really happy about it. the man is still coming up with an answer to what she said when the doors of the church are broken open and TVA agents start to file in. Sylvie says "about time," and proceeds to have fun slaying the unit and stealing a tempad. She picks up the charge on her way out, sending a blow kiss to the devil mural on the wall on her way out. cut to stepping out of a temportal, throwing the charge behind her over a shoulder (it lands on a mattress) and taking a heavy seat in front of a set of screens which show the inside of a mall. the cameras are mostly empty and where there are people it does not fascinate her (one of them shows someone reloading shelves). she scrutinizes the screens, drumming fingers on the table, but quickly sighs and pulls out her tempad: it flashes with low battery and she rolls her eyes, throwing it into a bin filled with likewise empty devices. she's about to get up when the cameras show a group of agents walking into the store. among them is one with a jacket reading VARIANT in bright orange. "Sh*t," she says, getting up and going to the mattress, rifling through a pile of clothes on the floor next to it "sh*t sh*t sh*t where is it". She pulls out a dark brown jacket, and the camera pans over to the screens again, where the VARIANT turns: it's Loki. A golden portal opens on the beige walls of the TVA, Hunter C-20 stepping through holding a man in 1940s army uniform by the arm and dragging him towards a desk. the man protests but she places a grenade on the counter and tells the deskworker to log it. "it wasn't a dummy," is the explanation she gives. In the background a single guard steps through a portal, looking around and proceeding to the doors out of this room. It's Sylvie, and she walks alone past other guards and rooms labelled Court and Memory Chamber. A group of people run past her saying a variant is loose and she walks faster. She walks past one court room, catching the words "trust me, you can smell the cologne of two Tony Starks," but continues looking around. An analyst (Mobius) rounds the corner in the direction of the court rooms and seems to be in a hurry, and Sylvie takes a sharp turn opening the closest door to her to avoid being seen. She is in a room with a Sacred Timeline screen, and zeroes in on the man closest to her, "what are you--" she places a hand over his mouth and pushes him down into his desk area behind his trolley, shushing him. "Do you know where the Reset Charge Storage Chambers are?" "Why?" *deep breath* *serious face on* "Tell me where the storaGE CHAMBer iS or I'll GUT YOU like a goAT!" "is that... like a fish?" *confusion* "how do you not know what a goat is?!" she spots a poster on the wall with a location guide and pushes Casey away with a hand to the face. "Nevermind." - We see Loki monologuing "the idea that your little club decides the fate of trillions of people across all of existence at the behest of three space lizards, yes, it's funny. It's absurd." an agent walks past in the background pushing a trolley but no attention is brought to it "I thought you didn't like to talk," mobius says. Sylvie pushes a door reading "Storage: Units" open, but looks and finds bodies in little cyro pod chambers lined up. "wrong door," she says, and pulls the trolley across the hall to the door reading "Storage: Charges." She's in a room with shelves filled up with reset charges, and opens the trolley drawer to find it already filled up with useless junk like infinity stones and such. to which she has no reaction. She shoves all that stuff to the side and out of the drawer, making space to

carefully place reset charges there. She individually picks up the two Tesseracts in it though and admires them, saying they're shiny and placing them on lower shelves in the room instead of on the floor. While she loads up the trolley ("a few more should do it") Loki walks past the door in full TVA outfit, happy and carrying a stack of papers that read RAGNAROK in bright red letters. She closes the drawer, takes her Hunter helmet off to shake out her hair and wipe sweat from her forehead, then puts it back on, pushing the trolley towards the door. Mobius has a hand at Loki's back, guiding him out of the Memory Chamber, Loki has clearly been crying and Mobius comforts him "it won't be so bad, you love being useful. and wearing suits." Sylvie walks past, pushing the trolley in the background. Sylvie continues down the hall, and when she sees no one behind or in front she pulls out her tempad and opens a portal, pushing her trolley and herself through. She's already gone and misses Classic Loki with a collar around his neck being escorted through the hall. - Sylvie and her trolley push through the portal and are in a mall, the lights dim and flickering above. Thunder is heard and lightning strikes as she places a reset charge on a shelf, flicking open a panel on it's side, and then walking a bit further and placing another. "May I help you?" a store employee asks, startling her. She considers. "Actually..." and places a hand to the person's temple - it takes a few seconds of effort but her fingertips glow green, and so does the person's eyes and temple, "don't mind if you do." She walks away from the trolley in a rush, and the store worker behind places a reset charge on a shelf. "I'm a bit short on time," she says to herself, pulling out her Tempad. Suspenseful music as the screen fades to black. - Everything cuts to a desert, with a small town in the background. A portal appears high up, and Loki falls from it to the ground. the words "twelve miles east of Puento Antiguo" appear on screen, and we see Loki formed a small crater in the ground, reminiscent of Mjolnir and the one in Stark Tower. "Ow," Loki says, taking the muzzle off with one hand, and then pulling the cuff chains off. The dust settles around him and he's still extricating himself from the hole in the ground and groaning about sand being irritating and getting everywhere when a golden portal opens up (we get a high shot, showing that Loki did indeed land within a larger crater too). Loki puts his hands in the air. "Appears to be a standard sequence violation. Branch is growing at a stable rate and slope. Variant identified." "Beg your pardon but I--" "On behalf of the Time Variance Authority, I hereby arrest you for crimes against the Sacred Timeline." "I didn't meddle with time, that would be the Avengers." "You're coming with us." *agents point pruners at him* "It's been a long day, I'm afraid you'll have to make me." *loki's hands start to glow green but B-15 presses a button, freezing him in place. Any sand blowing in the wind or any dust rising has also now stopped. There is a bird stuck mid-flight. B-15 pulls out a collar and places it around his neck. An agent places a reset charge on the ground and activates it, it starts to fizz purple. Time unfreezes and B-15 drags Loki going "hey!" through a temportal, and it closes, leaving the audience to watch a few seconds of the charge going off and the radius of the charge increasing, washing the ground in a bright neon-ish light.

Episode 2: this one is a combination of the Loki episodes 1 and 2. Basically, Loki goes on trial, the TVA has no reason he's committed a crime, but Mobius who had been at the church crime scene saves him and takes him to the memory chamber to break. What gets him to stop acting as if he actually wanted to rule all of space and whatnot is Mobius bringing up the topic of choice in Avengers 1, and asking if Loki knew the mind stone was effecting him too, along with him explicitly asking about the torture which happened before, even during - he pulls up footage - the invasion. Mobius pulls up footage of Frigga and Loki pickpockets the collar remote etc. everything else remains the same, including most of episode 2, with Sylvie fighting to "I need a hero" etc, but C-20 is left behind after being enchanted. When the TVA show up C-20 is tied up hastily in leather belts and rope. She's mostly out of it saying stuff like "it's real, it's all real" but she also says "we're variants, we're all variants" which Mobius obviously brushes over casually. Loki narrows his eyes though, and says stepping out of the renaissance fair tent would have them winding up dead like the agents scattered around here, B-15 calls bluff and Mobius says to wait but the people walking in front of the ones holding C-20 up to take her to the TVA for medical help fall dead upon stepping out. Loki was stalling for time with the wold anecdote, and doesn't tell how he knew the death thing would happen ("I see a scheme, and in that scheme I see myself" "bullsh*t" "it's true. my reflection looks quite good, too." "you *sshole." *he smiles softly, as if t'were a compliment*), and everyone gets back by opening portals from within the tent. The dots between the gum and the apocalypses is drawn, they see Pompeii, end up going to Roxxcart, where we see Sylvie watching the screens, now in her leather gear. B-15 and Loki split up together, the guy at the 'hurricane sale' placed a charge on the shelf but no attention is drawn to that bc Loki and 'Loki' are talking. Sylvie emphasizes that she holds a grudge because he's a traitor, specifically for working for the TVA because they're "condescending time fascists." Loki assures her he knows, and that he's seen the charges around the place. She comes to the realization that he's been undercover/faking. We're shown Mobius and co. finding the room with screens but it's just got Sylvie's random junk, nothing really useful. They talk some more, no physical fighting but the vessel sizes get bigger and Loki calls it 'real mature'. While they still disagree on what to do with the Time Lizards (destroy or overthrow) Sylvie settles on leaving the portal open for him at the end and giving him a chance. She waits for him to go through first, with Loki looking back at Mobius meaningfully determined and then walking through.

Episode 3: Young sylvie is going through the stripping/signing/temporal aura process. She's sent into the court room. she bites and runs out of the room, putting distance before fiddling with the tempad she took, figuring it out, while Renslayer gets stuck answering the Judge. Sylvie appears back on Asgard, but there's already a Sylvie there playing with her toys. a TVA portal opens and she presses another "Asgard" on the device to escape quickly. "I just want to go home," she says to herself, appearing in the same room, but the child is a bit older (a teen?) and a boy and black and reading instead of playing but he's clearly also in green/gold and a loki. the kid turns after hearing her and she panicks and goes through another portal. another one with adult loki in the same room, she looks hopeful as if she could ask for help but then sif walks in with insults and slaps him but spots her. "who's the kid," sif asks and a portal opens up next to her. Agents step through and Sif punches one that does, asking Loki what trick this is now. Sif/Loki fight them while they're still coming through, sylvie presses another asgard but sees a knocked out agent has a tempad on his belt and takes it before running again. no loki in the room, it's empty, but a group of people rush across, talking hurriedly about 'the goddess of death' and 'odin's real heir' and 'thor and loki dead' and 'seeking refuge in the moutains.' Sylvie looks lost. Cue titlecard and cool music. They step into the TVA. Sylvie is determined, telling Loki to hurry because they won't have much time the TVA remains in disarray from the reset charges everywhere, but stops when he says he needs to get a weapon. "Why didn't you use magic to get some earlier," she asks. "Spares," he smiles, "magic doesn't work here after all." Sylvie notes that it explains her last attempts to infiltrate failing so badly. They fight some guards together on the way to the elevator rather than fighting each other. The elevator to the time keepers opens but Renslayer and a bunch of guards are in it waiting. Sylvie grabs Loki and tries to use him as a bargaining tool. Doesn't work, obviously, and Sylvie is shaken upon coming face to face with the same Hunter who had caught her as a kid, she doesn't react in time to stop Loki taking her tempad and dropping them somewhere. Same plot from here, the two of them fighting over the tempad, with Sylvie wanting to go back and Loki telling her they clearly already failed and she should explain what's going on first. She says she doesn't need to and if he wants to help defeat the TVA he needs to trust her and give the tempad back. He makes it vanish and she gets frustrated, asking if he gives up on everything that easily, and maybe that's why he's the first Loki she's seen working with the TVA. Etc. They need a power source anyway and get to the train hoping it'll lead to the ship that won't get off-planet anyway. Loki acts a fool Sylvie naps, wakes up to singing. Sylvie calls him out for not actually being drunk and also he downs a glass and offers her one, and when Sylvie asks how he's paying for it he says it's on the house and points to the barkeeper (male. we're implying/showing flirting. maybe a wink at him or a cute wave.). It's blatantly clear he's trying to get info on her backstory along the way and she's not falling for it but allowing him to know a bit of stuff. (eg. "I know everything is watered down ale for an Asgardian," "watered-down watered-down, more like. But you know of Asgard? Do go on...") She softens at hearing his backstory, and shares hers too. The people appear and ask to see their tickets, everything is the same from here forward. The episode ends with them watching the ship getting destroyed.

Episode 4: different music when sylvie and loki look into each others eyes since i didn't like that. cue titlecard and song after the TVA portals open on Lamentis. this episode remains the same mostly with Sylvie and Mobius driving the plot. No narcissist comment but Mobius gets to act jelly of what Sylvie and Loki have going on. Instead of it just being a bad memory loop with Sif we get her three times and then it alternates to Thor who is also angry. If he's not already down Thor will punch him (even though Loki is just happy to see him bc he didn't think he'd see him again--) and then tell him to hold still so it'll hurt less. It's framed as bad and Thor will imply it's only a fitting punishment. Thor is only shown twice, the first time the scene cuts at Loki being hit and held down, the second is Thor leaving the room, chuckling about how Loki didn't need to talk to anyone anyway bc he's alone, says he'll heal soon anyway. Loki isn't shown, but Thor's fingers have blood on them where they hold mjolnir. the loop resets and Loki is back to standing in the middle of the room and ghosts a hand over his mouth and then Mobius arrives. Loki calls the repeated memory boring and cruel, says he hates when Thor is drunk and feeling rash, with Mobius saying at least he didn't send him to Thanos or something and gave his crotch a break. Sylvie asks what her nexus event was and Renslayer doesn't remember. The end of the episode is the same, with Sylvie 1v1-ing Renslayer and beheading a Time Keeper, Loki getting pruned. The credit scene remains the same.

#note that i didn't plan this beforehand and was making it up as i went and it took... maybe an hour?#maybe an hour and a half #yeah so #first draft idea.#tell me what you think :)#feel free to add suggestions #i'll probably add/change/rewrite on this as more episodes come out #i have a feeling Sylvie wouldn't've left the gum though?#we'll see #the Loki show #loki spoilers #loki show spoilers #i really took episode 4 making loki irrelevant to plot and not getting him character development either to heart i guess #also #if we're making the TVA evil and bad lets go all out and make loki go in a loop to a myth/comic-accurate punishment while at it :)#at least now we haven't downed the angst factor by playing something JUST for laughs #that's how sif can still crotch shot him #repeatedly

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i-should-be-writing · 3 years

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Dabi and Shigaraki both don’t know their limits and are bad at communicating but dear god they’re trying (NSFT 18+)

First time writing something NSFT

Dabi and Shigaraki eventually start fucking. Someway somehow it just happens

However Shigaraki doesn’t have experience with sexual activities that involve other people

And neither of them have experience with emotional/mental stability

So there’s bound to be some major bumps in the road

So at one point Dabi has unintentionally pushed Shigaraki past his limit and Shigaraki can’t communicate this because he’s prone to going none verbal when he’s panicked

Dabi doesn’t know this and doesn’t notice any signs of distress

That is until Shigaraki bites him hard enough to draw blood and accidentally grabs Dabi with all five fingers

Dabi manages to free himself before any real damage is done

But due to his panic of thinking Shigaraki has suddenly decided to kill him he had hit Shigaraki over the head

Dabi was fully expecting to have Shigaraki jumping to kill him but what he got is an expression of hurt and confusion

Which in turn makes Dabi hurt and confused

‘Why is he looking at me like that? He’s the one that could have killed me. Did I do something wrong? Oh god what did I do?’

And instead of talking about it they both call it a night and go their separate ways

Dabi starts to avoid Shigaraki out of guilt and fear of hurting him even more

Shigaraki allows it so as to get his bearings back but eventually gets tired of Dabi acting like a hurt puppy when he’s the one that was hurt

Shigaraki eventually corners Dabi and demands he explain what the fuck is up with him

Dabi has a hard time trying to articulate anything because his inner monologue is something like

‘You’re a piece of shit. You can’t do anything right can you? Enji was right about you. You’re worthless. You deserve to be abandoned. No one wants to deal with you. Can’t believe you thought you were better than your dad.’

Shigaraki, being the more stable one of the two, can sense the hell that is about to unfold and decides it’s not worth it and tries to blow it off with a “It’s fine. It’s not that big a deal”

But is cut short by Dabi

“Hit me! I hit you so it’s only fair!”

“What!? No, Dabi I’m not going to hit you”

“Please! Please, I deserve it! I’ll be fine! Just do it please!”

Dabi sounds hysterical at that point and had Shigaraki getting increasingly distressed

Eventually when Shigaraki can’t stand the pleading anymore and doesn’t know how to make him stop he throws the punch

Dabi was surprised

Not by the punch itself but by how hard Shigaraki can punch

Shigaraki on the other hands goes from relief due to Dabi no longer pleading to absolute horror

And to make it worse he’s not even sure why he feels so bad. Dabi wanted him to hit him so they’d be even

But for some reason he starts to hear a little boy crying, an angry man yelling. He starts to see faded memories of the man’s face. And then he collapses

Dabi does his best to comfort Shigaraki

It’s piss poor but he’s trying

He doesn’t touch Shigaraki in any way out of fear of making things worse. So he lays on the ground with him and tells him that everything’s fine

It’s a lie but those are helpful sometimes right?

Soon Shigaraki comes to and asks why Dabi is on the floor

Dabi answers him and asks if he’d prefer if he’d hold him. Shigaraki confirms

They just lay there for a moment until Shigaraki speaks up

“We should probably have an actual conversation about this shit.”

“Yeah. Fuck. I’m not really good at that though”

“Can’t be worse than whatever this was”

“Ouch”

So they both make themselves comfortable for a very uncomfortable conversation

Shigaraki explains that Dabi went past a limit but he couldn’t verbally express that and had grabbed and bit Dabi out of panic

Dabi explains he had thought Shigaraki was trying to kill him and hit him out of panic

Dabi apologizes for not noticing Shigaraki was distressed and had attacked him and Shigaraki understands why Dabi had reacted in such away to him grabbing him but still doesn’t understand something

“Why’d you want me to hit you”

“To make you feel better”

“But I didn’t feel better. I felt worse actually”

“But I thought-”

“I was on the ground crying. What you did was try to make yourself feel better”

‘Shit. Is that really what I was doing? Of course it was. You don’t know how to care about anyone but yourself asshole’

“Stop that!”

“Stop what?”

“I can practically see the self loathing in your eyes. I’m not saying you had zero intention on helping me. I’m just saying the way you went about it turned out to be more about yourself and that sucks major ass. You should have asked me how you could fix things.”

“How can I fix things?”

“Well for starters you should start getting Kurogiri to help you with your emotions and stuff. He’s the only reason I’m this stable. Secondly you can hold me and be my personal heater. We should also discuss our limits and whatnot before we try anything again.”

“Huh I think I can do that”

He can

At some point Shigaraki is about to go down on Dabi and Dabi tells him

“If I do anything you don’t like you have my permission to bite off my dick.”

“Your dirty talk is shit.”

“Well that sounds pretty dirty to mEE-”

At another point Dabi goes into sub space. Shigaraki tends to him as best as he can since neither of them were expecting this. It turns out all right

And then later on Shigaraki goes into sub space and this time they were both prepared. It turns out alright as well

Sometimes things can turnout all right

Even if it had a shit start

#shigadabi #nsft #shigaraki #dabi #my hero academia #boku no academia #actually writing

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papers4me · 3 years

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Fruits Basket, Se03. ep 6.(Part 1)

The main female protagonist who, has been the “mother /psychiatrist/ fixer/curse-breaker” for 57 eps & 2 seasons, has finally had her own “I’m a real person with my own issues” ep !!!! YESS! So happy!!! also, so underwhelmed. Tohru has been painted to be this utterly selfless & altruistic character for long, that when she’s finally a balanced character it’s presented in half an episode? Don’t get me wrong, I like the ep, but there’s also the same feeling of bullet train that I felt in momiji’s ep! ugh!! I hated that feeling! Go away~ oh well.. I’ll quickly state what I didn’t like, before jumping into what I liked, in order to end with a happier note~

What I didn’t like:

Tohru’s monologue after leaving shigure & Isuzu felt more like a background exposition more than a true character’s thoughts. The reason is that It is quickly narrated with quick flashbacks from the past with intentional pieces missing from the flashback. Pieces like” how did Kyoko hurt tohru? She said to kyo, in se02, ep “ I feel like I’ve only caused her sadness” & tohru’s flashbacks in se02 of her mother leaving/ closing a door. All these things not included in tohru’s 1st ever personal monologue made it seem like quick fill in for the audience more than tohru’s main struggle. Compare it to Yuki’s 3 ep monologue in se02, filled with all his own background info, hence, we as audience sit back & just feel. With tohru a little brain work is needed of putting things together in the puzzle is needed because NOTHING abt her trauma has ever been explained to us prior to her monologue . Also, compare this kyo. A character who ONLY have 2 eps dedicated to him in 57 eps, yet even without monologues & with hidden secrets for climax purposes, his emotions are clear cuz his background was explained early in se01, ep24 & se02, ep9. Compared to them both, her monologue felt a bit lacking.

What’s up with the following scene? Her crying & kyo comforting her mid-street. He saw her crying, asked what’s wrong & she couldn’t say & he gave her a comforting advice. All good. Kyo always give the most needed advice for tohru to be herself & feel comforted. Se01, “complain more, be selfish” Se02, somen table scene & asking her abt her future plans & the hiro incident. Kyo has tried to guess whats wrong first. Here he saw her cry in the middle of the street & just gave her an advice? couldn’t he at least guess wrongly if it is her granpa? school? anything? This scene is AMAZING but it feels off a little.

Kyo’s “ now I remember” EXCUSE ME?????? se01, ep14, valentine ep, he got a nightmare, then when shigure talked to him, we saw a quick flashback that we didn’t now what it is but now it IS kyoko. se02, the entirety of ep9 & the “ I won’t forgive you” & the flashback of young him with kyoko talking abt tohru. se02, ep 22 his fight with yuki & the clear face of kyoko telling him abt something regarding the hat. His entire shutdown of tohru IS abt kyoko NOT abt him being a monster cuz tohru accepted monster kyo in se01 ep 24! so.. REMEMBER WHAT????? the accident?? I feel like being hit with a rock. I mean, it makes sense that kyo will get PTSD after seeing the hat, cuz he remembers the bloody accident vividly. But it is the dialogue that IS weird. “ I remember” ?? it makes no sense? unless it is another hidden secret & will be revealed later. If so, then forget this point.

Kagura (more on her below). Now, let’s talk abt what I liked!

-Grief (the most difficult theme to express in literature): Excellent writing!

Grief is one of the most diverse human emotions. ppl who grief a loved one either erase everything abt them in order to cope with the pain of loss & live on, or drastically engrave everything, not want any memory to slip away, or hold the deceased on a pedestal, or hate them irrationally in order to forget abt them, some deny that the loved one is gone, others talk to them daily, some act & live normally for years & suddenly it hits them that this loved person is truly gone & they breakdown. Others, direct their disbelief of losing a precious one into the envy that other bad ppl are still living, why my precious one is dead?. Thats why, it is a difficulty emotion to understand by others. Ppl watching you will always think that comforting you is enough & that the longer you take, the more impatient they are with you. Tell me, watching tohru this ep, didn’t you feel that:

Come on. tohru, you can love your mom & kyo! who says only ONE person can be your precious?

Umm, why she cries for her mom NOW? 2 years after her death? Is she over it already?

Tohru~~ your mom aint going no where cuz you loved a guy? she’s in your heart, girl. Ugh!

Compared to yuki who was abused by his parents & kyo whose mom commit suicide in front of him, tohru’s trauma is meh~

Feeling this way abt tohru is exactly how many feel abt ppl struggling with grief. You are NOT a bad person if you felt this way. It means that thankfully you weren’t struck by grief to tohru’s extent or that your grief went about differently than tohru. Grief is a crippling feeling. It is valid, strong, overwhelming, paralyzing & above all very unique to the person themselves. Tohru feeling that her mom is slipping away from her memory is so realistic & utterly heartbreaking. Grief hurts & moving on from grief hurts more!!!! The more you go on & live your life, the more you feel like you betray your loved one.

Tohru’s entire existence is for her mother & so her mother LIVES inside her:

Finishing high school cuz it’s her mother’s request.

Getting a job to sustain herself cuz she has no one to support her financially.

Giving her mom’s wisdom & teachings abt life to others.

imitating her dad’s speaking style to prevent her mom from “leaving”.

Being the perfect girl in order to portray that her mom, who is a gangster & is hinted by the ugly relatives to be unfaithful to her husband due to tohru not taking after her dad, actually raised a respectful girl!

Talking to a dead cold lifeless picture as if it is a living human being & going into panic attacks when she looses such pictures.

Suppressing all her true “ ugly, negative” emotions & only giving the fake smiles & positive attitude.

She fears that ppl will leave her if she isn’t “comforting, happy”, hence, the whole facade of “ i’m okay, I’m okay”.

Immersing her self in ppl’s issues so she won’t face her own feelings of utter loneliness, fear of the future, & being left behind when everybody moves on with their lives.

Thinking that having selfish desires contradicts the “ hopeful, kind” girl images, hence, the fear to actually wants sth for herself. Everything HAS TO BE for the sake of the others.

Tohru is deeply traumatized & her complex, unhealthy but extremely realistic attachment to her mom must be broken. Tohru must learn to LET GO.

-Kagura’s character’s assassination. aka (violence heals y’all!)

The show wanted to express the emotion that kagura is still in love with kyo, but is learning to let go & accepting kyo/tohru love. I love that. Her speech with kazuma abt not being able to face tohru cuz her face will show her emotions is so relatable & it hit ME personally. Loved that. Then, she learns that tohru truly loves kyo & should confess to him not talk to Isuzu & I get that, it make sense that she lashes on thru & teach her the value of being open abt your feelings & dont loose him. all cool & understandable. BUT:

How dare you slap tohru like that? you don’t know what she’s going through? tohru is wearing funeral clothes for God’s sake! she just visited her dead mom, you insensitive woman! How dare you assume that all tohru is struggling with is love love, romance romance yay~ confess, kiss, be happy?

Tohru & kyo’s issues are deeper than typical, normal, shallow shojo love. It is related to child trauma & abuse. To their own individual identity & self-image! Their romantic love is meant to guide them towards better choices for the future, not magically heal everything. Their mutual love is NOT the answer to their issues.

How dare you slap someone to make them go back to their senses? this is such an anime move! ugh!~ it cheapens the emotional weight of character’s emotions.

“ I’m not apologizing to tohru. We communicate thro fists” excuse me? you arent even communicating with kyo thro fists! he sees you & run! the only time he thanked you for, was when you didn’t “ communicate thro fists” & played with him as a child! Not only make her hit tohru but not apologize??

No one told her off? are you foreal?? Isuzu pouting lips is no match for Isuzu powerful emotions when she’s embarrassed, & kazuma! where you at? Happy at the “ open confrontation”? Why do you kill kagura’s character like that?

Side Notes:

I hate how this went by in half an ep like they did with machi!! tohru is THE main character for God’s sake! But it looks like the show is not so fond of the true tohru who wants stuff & screams & talks to herself, alas she isn’t the angelic, innocent girl that is saturating the heck out of all shojo amines. Oh well~ perhaps tohru’s issues will be visited again in the finale?

Kyo gets PTSD reaction in front of tohru. great. Now what’s next? I won’t ever forgive the anime if next ep, kyo & tohru are all normal or worse the episodic theme prevents the continuation & jumps elsewhere. Nearly all the eps that didn’t end with a happy note, started the next ep somewhere & totally forgot the cliff hanger. such as, Isuzu’s ep in se02, it ended with tohru’s nightmare & next ep started yuki’s issues with tohru all smiley & bright. Another example, the Cinderella play ended with kyo/tohru torn symbolism where each is awkward with the other, next ep machi !!!!!! & kyo/ tohru all normal in kazuma’s house. But this time, it will be an epic mistake to do the same. Kyo going full traumatic in front of tohru to the point of her screaming is not sth you skip & start over erasing. Don’t disappoint me show! you can’t screw that, can you?

I love the symbolism of kyoko disappearing from the picture & the crack of her framed pic at the end with it still continued in he ED. Good job.

They are building for a hug clashing scene between kyo & tohtu. it must hurt. It is designed to hurt. I wanted it to hurt. It is not abt romance. It is abt mental & emotional trauma. I’m excited. But I’m scared. After today’s ep, I can confidently say I don’t trust the director. I’m an anime-only, but tohru’s part in the story is the least touched upon, the quickest to get over with & has the wackiest animation. They just don’t know how to depict an emotional tohru~ sigh~

Tohru is written to be a unique protagonist in the sea of innocent, selfless & always happy shojo heroine & opposed to the badass, physically strong female protag in shonen. She is the most realistic, but so much of her potential is wasted so far~~

“ saving the sohma’s. breaking the curse for others is a lie, in reality I wanted to do it for kyo” This line is supposed to be liberating for tohru cuz for once she is putting herself FIRST! It is not abt kyo. It is abt herself! it is cuz SHE wants him. See the difference? See how this line gives tohru the biggest character development!! but still sth is missing. I duno..

I have lots to say abt tohru, kyo, shigure, the grandpa, kyoko, Isuzu & even kazuma! I’ll do that in part 2.

I still liked the ep tho. It is solid. I”ll like it MORE if they continued from here & didn’t cut it cold.

#Fruits Basket #Anime Only #Exhausted paper #final season #Tohru Honda

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oh-for-fic-sake · 4 years

Text

Breeding A Human Chapter Two

Masterlist

Its a few weeks since Kal has claimed you and ...He might be more unstable then you first thought. But your learning to navigate him but your question now is what does it mean to be mated by a kryptonian? And better yet can you reverse it?

Warnings: Adult Situations 18+,Swearing ,Manipulative Behavior,Yandere,Non Con WHEN I SAY NON CON I MEAN NON CON DON'T LIKE IT DON'T FUCKING READ IT STOP READING SHIT YOU DON'T LIKE!!, Breeding Kink, Mentions of Forced Pregnancy, Angst, Spanking, Threatening Behavior, Threats of Violence

A/N: So found this hard to write....well I couldn't write it in one go had to take a few breathers whether that’s good of bad I'm not sure, was a bit of a bugger to keep the mad yandere theme going but I hope I succeeded xx

Taglist: @thatdamncutegirl @sofiebstar @iloveyouyen @thefangirlsblog @lux-ravenwolf @thatgirly81

You sat down on the floor in the living room against the wall hidden, things are...Hard. Your neighbor who spotted you and Kal the other week had told your other neighbors and friends who told their friends who told their friends and on and on. There had been small snippets in the news and media about superman possibly having a lover but everything was still rumor and speculation...Well it was until yesterday someone must have got access to the police report of the incident at the house. Because yesterday your face was plastered all over the papers and this morning you awoke to reporters pounding on your door at seven am each hounding you for the scoop wanting an interview with 'Supermans woman'. You wasn't sure why but it seemed Kal had all but abandoned you to deal with it, probably wanting to see if youd say something to them; tell them the truth it was a test. You wont, you cant the retribution and backlash wouldn't be worth it, you didn't want to imagine Kals reaction...He would flip his shit....Again your not sure you would survive superman's displeasure again as his 'mate' your corrections were of a very specific nature.

So here you were alone hiding in your own home with your wooden blinds shut tight trying to ignore the crowd of people outside snapping photos of your home and calling for you to come out and chat. The papers yesterday had all plastered a photo taken of you both when he saved you from the water all those months ago. The headlines all along the same lines of 'confimred Superman's human lover. The secret love affair' and 'Love at first sight? Superman's girlfriend finally revealed!' And your personal favorite just from the sheer cheesyness 'The star crossed lovers! Krypton and Earth collide!' There was many other shitty headlines they must have just found out it was true after digging around.

Each knew who you were and where you lived, some of them had interveiws from 'witnesses' from the day he pulled you from the water 'He wouldn't let her go not even to the paramedic's. You could tell he was shaken up it must have been terrible for him to see her in the water like that!...You could tell there was something there between them, I have no doubt they were a couple already! They were even bickering!. He even protected her from being arrested for jumping in after the little girl! No one could get near her...He was probably in shock he just held her close ~It was so romantic seeing him protect her like that you could tell it was true love~' you scoffed bullshit! If only they knew what followed. Some even questioned if you were fucking secretly married!

You sat wiping your eyes crying softly, your life had gone to shit in a few short months and you was at rock bottom. Trapped in your own home by a media frenzy who wanted the story ...What could you tell them? the truth? 'superman stalked me, isolated me and manipulated me into thinking I was borderline schizophrenic convincing me I had ptsd and was going mad then raped me when I found out he was a fucking nut job and when the police showed up I was to scared to say anything because he was upstairs'

Somehow you didn't think they would buy that, they wanted a fairy tale! not the truth and if you did tell the truth you'd get a shit tonne of hate. And Kal? Well you didn't want to risk angering him again. He threw fits at you, bouts of anger that always terrified you and each time you were reminded. He was not human. Nowhere near it! He nearly perforated your ear drums from shouting at you last week you couldn't afford to anger him. So instead you opted to remain silent.

In the days since his rape mating Kal had stuck around he was here each night he didn't leave anymore either...Well not properly, he still flew off into the night to maintain order in the city and save people from disasters around the world but he didn't leave to go home a night. He did however leave in the morning and he was out all day like clock work almost like he had a job. Each day would start with him in your bed sometimes just watching you other times you awoke to him slipping between your thighs using your body to satisfy himself, you tried not to resist it was hopeless he would do what he wanted.

He claimed you were his mate and as his mate you had a duty to please him, he said to think of yourself as his wife and he had very traditional views on how his home life should be, bare foot in the kitchen sprang to mind. Preferably pregnant to, he was obsessed with wanting you to become pregnant and you do mean obsessed. After fucking you full to the point of pain he spent hours just watching your stomach, following his release with his all seeing gaze as it traveled into your womb willing it to hit its mark. He is adamant that he wants to see the exact moment that you conceive, the creation of his child! And you can never forget what he is doing either. He holds you in an elevated position trying to get the best chance all the while rubbing your stomach and ribs giving you a monologue of what his cum is doing, where it is how close he is to fertilizing you. It made you feel sick but what could you do? Fight him?

He was very pleased with himself always claiming that this was right, it was how nature intended and that it was just taking you longer to feel the bond you had because you was human. Kal was sure once you became pregnant that tiny ounce of kryptonian blood in your child would kick start your own mateing bond for now you had to trust him. So obsessed and desperate to have you 'bred' he helped himself to you as and when he saw fit, his 'love making' literally lasted hours he called it many things 'sex, fucking, lovemaking' but it was rape however you refrained from calling it that now he got all angry glowy eyes which was...Not fun especially when the molten eyes were inches from yours as he held you down and 'corrected' you with his cock, splitting you open mercilessly and unprepared trying to breed you like a bitch in heat. And true to his word he had kept you quiet not from holding back oh god no. He now had a solution if you began to struggle or get to 'fiesty' he would simply place fingers in your mouth and pin down your tongue as a painful reprimand to 'bring you back in line' and it usually did in a few short moments to frightened to struggle much longer in fear of him snapping your jaw.

You had tried to run a few days after your first time, hoping that you could at least get a one way plane ticket you doubted he would rip open the plane and risk everyone just to get to you, he seemed to need his golden boy image to cover his tracks. Unfortunately as you tried making your escape your neighbor was in the garden biting at the bit to talk to you wanting to know the ins and outs. You had real trouble trying to get out of the conversation she was a determined gossip.

"So you wrangled yourself a hero?! Wow tell me whats he really like? Where did you two meet? Was it the bridge? I bet it was the bridge! That’s so romantic! Him saving your life and falling in love, it sounds like a real life fairy tale! I'm almost jealous" You had shivered if only she knew, you wanted to just ignore her and run off but you'd already stopped and turned to her you cursed yourself for it when you looked to her. Mrs Ellis AKA the local rumor mill, well known for getting into everyone else's business, she was kind enough but two faced and nosy. She was married and in her early forties with one adult son who was just as bad as his mother. You plastered on a shy smile just give her a few tit bits to mull over and you'd be out of here!

"No it....I'm not sure how it happened he just managed to make himself apart on my life...I didn't have much say to be honest" she had giggled and covered her red cheeks fanning her self.

"I bet! I'm sure no one can stop that man when he is determined! We heard it infact~" you blushed and looked away scanning the sky apprehensively you really didn't want to be caught out of the house by him, he wont like it as his mate you were supposed to rely on him for everything therefore had no reason to leave. Seeing the conversation start to halt before she got what she wanted she smiled again continuing.

"We were all worried around here for a few weeks... We thought you were going off the deep end can you believe that? None of us suspected your strange behavior was just because you had yourself a new man...It was because you were with him wasn't it?" and there we go the snooping disguised as friendly chat. You looked around quickly okay you had enough you needed to leave.

"I...Yes yes it was...Mrs Ellis I'm sorry to be rude but I'm kind of in a rush-" her face lit up"OH! are you sneaking out? let me guess going to cook your man a slap up romantic meal?! you know I did the same to Earl when we first got together! Oh to be oung again~ just remember good food is the way into a mans heart~" you smiled at her and moved your hands in a shrugging gesture.

"You've caught me Mrs Ellis! He has no idea what I have planned...So if he comes over could you try and stall him ...Stop him from coming looking for me? just say I've popped out...."

"Huh? why would he be looking for- Would he be worried about you?!~ oh that is so sweet! your so lucky to have him fawn over you, Must feel so nice having him all macho and protective~. That being said I can understand why you've been so skittish. I'd be skittish to if I was dating a man like that." You frowned at her confused man like that? Did she know? would she believe you if you told her?

"A...A man like what?" She gasped placing a hand to yours thinking she had offended you.

"Oh no! Oh honey I didn't...I didn't mean nothing by it! I'm not one of those 'alien go home' lackey's I merely meant him being a hero..He's bound to have enemies so I would have been careful to and I'm sure you both didn't want the media knowing but they will find out soon honey...Sorry I'm getting this all wrong...All I'm trying to say is I'm happy for you! Right well I won't keep you, you go get your man his dinner! But if you ever need anything or just to talk pop round and we can have a chit chat- even bring him I'm sure he and Earl would get along as us women have a chat!" you thanked her and made your way half way down the lawn with promises of talking to him about it...But no you had absolutely no intentions of going round there...or staying here for that matter?If all went well youd be out of the country by tonight!.

It was when you got nearly three houses down the road your heart stopped ,there it was the boom of him reentering the atmosphere above. You turned looking at him he was hovering staring at the house, looking for you from here you could tell he was becoming aggravated. You got another two steps then your neighbor gave you away gasping and giggling at you then shouted across the open lawns.

"Oh y/n I think you have a visitor~ should I get my ear plugs ready?~" You closed your eyes feeling Kal’s gaze snap to you ignoring her comment you moved your hand clutching your bag tighter, he would know and you were going to be in for it! The street seemed to get quiet, the people that had been out doing yard work now staring as he barrelled down towards you stopping a few feet above you then lowered down to the ground smiling eerily at you.

"Mate? I thought you were staying in today...You know I'm not keen on you going out without me knowing..." he was quick to wrap himself around you ushering you back towards the house glanced over you and frowned slightly seeing your larger bag.

"Just where do you thing your off to...with your passport?" You could hear the growl creep in to his voice.

"Just in to town...Want some wine is all and sometimes they say my license is fake so I take my passport to...I didn't think you'd be home till tonight" Mrs Ellis laughed shaking her head at you.

"Oh dear why not tell him, even with all this feminism there is nothing wrong with wanting to feed your man!" Kal turned his head to the woman putting on a charming smile, his eyes lit up happily and he turned back to you.

"Cook? You were going to cook for me? Oh mate that’s- thank you love that very thoughtful" you shook your head seeing he was taking the white lie to heart, he must think you were going to start complying with this fucked up 1950s house wife shit show. Mrs Ellis laughed and waved a hand

"Oh dear stop being so fussy!" She turned to Kal rolling her eyes

"Of course she doesn't want to admit it! but she just told me she was off to get groceries she wanted to cook for you...I swear these younger women and their distaste for traditional house wives, seriously raising a family is just as important as any career!" he moved towards you winding an arm around your waist tugging you to his side

"I couldn't agree more~ Family is everything" he spun you around placing a kiss to your cheek in front of the older woman making her coo, he was curling around you putting on a show, making the display look ...Romantic pulling you to him tucking you under his arm. His laugh was all the warning you got before he spoke loud enough for the other neighbors on the near by lawns to hear.

"Really love? Well I thank you, truly I love the idea of you trying to take care of me! but you know I don't need you to do that my love~" he paused to give you a wicked smile self assured in his next little public claim over you

"No no ,I'd much prefer to come home to you ready to try again after all our child wont make itself" Your eyes widened he had practically fucking shouted it! Your neighbor gasped

"O-oh my y/n you failed to mention that you were trying for a baby!..That’s wonderful! you know you'd make an excellent Mother" He stopped and through her a shinning smile

"So we are going to go public love? I mean you were talking about me? And you are Mrs Ellis if I'm not mistaken?" He moved you across to the woman and held out a hand.

"Its very nice to meet you properly ma'am...I’m-" she flushed red and took his hand

"S-superman- I know who you are-" he smiled laughing moving to press a kiss to the top of your head.

"Oh please call me Kal...After all we are going to be neighbors isn't that right love?" You took a deep breath and nodded slowly unable to say anything he was cunning.

"N-neighbors your moving in?" He laughed and squeezed you to him.

"Absolutely! I practically have already...Well I'm afraid that we must be going as I said before our child wont make themselves...Well not on the lawn anyway~" he winked as the older woman blushed fanning herself

"Oh my~ ah and don’t worry about any visitors haha we wont call anyone..If you get my meaning just have fun deary~" he smiled again Thanking her before ushering you into the house slamming the door with finality you knew that Mrs Ellis was already inside on her phone to her friends.

Once inside he quickly grabbed your chin squeezing pinning you back against the wall seething.

"You try to leave this house-Leave me again and I'll melt all the fucking locks and hinges on every door and window~" you whimpered as he moved fishing out your passport and burned hole through it to make a point, you wasn't leaving.Ever. Well...there was one way out.

You can honestly say that was the first time it had truly sunk in. The first time you had considered other more permanent options. It was just a fleeting thought...Until it wasn’t and you sat back really considering it a few days later. The question was could you do it? Could death be an escape from all this madness? From his madness? You shook your head.No. No no you can’t think like that yet...There must be a way! And escape but who the fuck could save you from Superman? Who was it you needed to call? You'd given up for the time being you needed a plan but ass the days became weeks you were loosing hope fast. If you were gonna do it, it had to be sooner rather then later you doubted even you'd be able to do it if you did fall pregnant. Because god help you if you failed and only killed the child...

You yelped as another loud knock was at your door calling out for you to just answer a few questions. You tucked into a tighter ball whining wanting them to all go away. Suddenly there it was, the sound that made your stomach go cold, Kal had come back you heard the people outside calling out to him in a mad rush, but they sounded less threatening less pushy. You felt him looking at you huddled up in the corner peeking through the walls of the house.

Kal moved slowly down to the ground landing softly in the front yard he turned seeing you there cowering in the living room. He growled at your distress and snapped his head to the reporters a frown on his face. He wanted to burn them for upsetting his mate but instead settled for sweeping them with a fierce look. They each instantly calmed that was then he spoke evenly giving them a sharp look. They disregarded his stern gaze and all bombarded him with questions he knew they wont leave until they had something

"I'd ask that you leave my mate and I alone this...Human kryptonian mating bond has been difficult for us to navigate...And we are not ready to give statements yet..." he hoped that admitting to a mating bond would give the reporters enough but sighed when it hadn't.

"Mating bond? Like soulmates?" He looked to the reporter and gave a stiff nod

"Yes...As you can imagine with us being...Me being who and what I am it is difficult...And, I find myself driven on...Baser instincts when it comes to her. My need to protect her is....Very hard to control at this time and you have terrified her! She is cowering in her own home so for your own safety I'd ask you to leave" The reporters fell silent when he growled out his last words all thinking the same thing. Did he just threaten them? Rightly or wrongly they didn't want to stay and find out He stood tall arms crossed giving the large group a fierce stern glare ,they each nodded and began to back away all muttering apologies and agreeing to his requests.He turned to you again you felt him you were looking right at him shaking in fear, these animals have frightened you his poor sweet mate. You must have been terrified with them pounding on the door shouting at you all day.

But then again that's what he hoped for, he wants you to move willingly. That is why he decided against just stealing you away while you slept. Now that he was here with you the urge to fly of into the sunset with you had died down, he hopes that if you still want to leave this house you will ask him to take you away.

That way he could take you to his prepared home in Kansas a small ranch miles away from ...Well everything! It was perfect and if anything goes awol he shouldn't have to chase you down and correct you, oh no you'd come crawling back! It was nearly a twelve hour walk across flat crop fields of course he wouldn't have a vehicle on the property and if you did try to leave hoofing it for all that time it was flat ground surrounding the property one high fly and he'd have your location asap and have you home for a punishment.

Maintaining the place shouldn't be hard the crops he could do himself in seconds when the time came..Everyone always did call him a farm-boy and it was true he was a farm-boy at heart. There was electricity but no phone there's no internet either he would bring you books and films or supplies for any hobby you'd like and you could redecorate until your hearts content. But bottom line was you'd be safe not only that being so far from everyone meant your children would have space to practice there abilities unhindered. Soon. He whispered to himself very soon.

He smiled at you, trying to calm you even if you couldn't see it. He gave one final scowl to the crowd who whether it be instinct or primal fear of him, they had listened and began leaving. He stayed outside the house guarding you as they slowly trickled away.Once they were all gone he moved up to the house knocking.

"Love....Love they are gone now, come on open up little mate....Mate stop I know your scared and upset but please I've dealt with it your safe now.....My heart?...I will break the door if you don't let me in...One...Two..Two and a half ...Three...Okay you asked for it-" you opened it with a quick scrabbling motion. He smiled quickly stepping over the threshold collecting you in his arms kicking the door shut. You trembled against him they had frightened you! He admonished. You wept into his chest, you had no choice he had smothered you. He held you tightly hushing and cooing at you whispering soft words of encouragement.

"My sweet little mate don't cry, shh I'm here now and I made them leave see?" You nodded at him still shaken you wanted to leave, you wanted out! of this house, the country this whole situation.

But there was no escape! he will not let you leave him, but maybe if you asked he would come to? let you at least move to an new house that didn't have so many bad memories, tho you were better in a sense you wasn't as paranoid or frantic you knew it was him and he didn't hide anymore he flaunted it as much as he could. He was now trapping you in a different sense creating an image of being a consenting loving couple just like the stupid papers said. You sobbed pressing your palms to his chest leaning back to look up at him.

"I-I can't stay here! Kal please...This house I just can't...Can I?...Can I go see that house?...The one in central city?-" he tensed squeezing your arms making you wince growling at you his eyes becoming a bright red for a second then dimmed back to his normal aqua.

"NO! NO YOU MAY NOT!" You cringed trembling he grit his teeth you looked down tears starting anew shaken to the core, this man, this alien terrified you he was obsessive and a fantasist, he was strong, far to strong just one misplaced squeeze of a finger and you were a goner. He took a breath and moved pinching your chin softly making you meet his gaze.

"I'm sorry love...Your not leaving me, I couldn't bare to lose you not now..Not ever" your heart dropped to your stomach at his words you knew that you couldn't escape him but you couldn't stay here either! you swallowed blinking and tried to reason with him, plead with him to grant even the smallest of mercies.

"Then...Then somewhere here! A house they don't know! Please please I can't stay here! They will be back! Please Kal I'm begging you, I'm scared Kal I don't want them to know where I live...Please?" he stayed silent looking down at you he supposed letting you look for somewhere in Metropolis wasn't a bad idea, you were already referring to him for permission. Trusting his judgment letting him take the lead as a good little female does, acknowledging him as your mate and higher up. He could just turn down all the options until you ask him to choose then he can finally bring you home willingly just as he planned.

"I will think about it...I may have just the place for us~...But that is for another day for now its time for us to try again...I still haven't bred you today and your ovulating again" you closed your eyes as he moved closer taking a deep breath smelling your neck then lower pressing the tip of his nose to the top of your breast.

"You smell-your scent is...UGH fuck its divine your skin it just releases it-its like a fucking drug!" You trembled looking down with little hope already knowing how this ends before its begun. He moved back a step and pressed a hand to your stomach, he still hadn't taken it was a shame but he would not let it faze him, he had a plan and he would continue filling you until you were carrying his child.

"Come love things will be better once your growing with my seed" you whimpered at the thought and shook our head.

"Kal I don't want I'm not ready-"

"Of course you are! I can fucking smell it your body is screaming out for me! Stop saying stupid things!" He snapped before you even finished your sentence, you looked down trying to hold back tears and shook you didn't want to do anything with him, yet refusing will only drag out the whole ordeal making it painful.

You knew that last few weeks had been a dream for him a fantasy of his own making. Being with you making sure you were 'safe' he was always happy sleeping in the same bed after rutting and filling your tight little cunt for what felt like hours. He had hoped that you'd be pregnant by now but never complained for long he enjoyed the intimacy, loved holding you down and painting your insides marking your womb as his territory in the most carnal and depraved ways.

He was a monster driven on pure feral instinct, he had explained it may be hard for you to fall pregnant due to the kryptonian's past that was his excuse to fucking you every which way filling you as many times as he could until your stomach was distended and swollen. He had explained in his lust fueld rants as he impaled you down onto his fat shaft that he wasn't sure why his kind had resorted to the artificial chambers to produce children. He did however assume it was because there was a problem with conceiving naturally. You'd once asked snidely if it was even possible for him to impregnate you it had been a bad day and you for some reason wanted to provoke him, make him as upset as you.

It did the trick he became enraged with the possibility but instead of pulling out from your bruised body and leaving in a mood like you'd hoped. He had done the opposite and had fucked you for nearly twenty four hours straight, the only break you had was to use the bathroom and that had driven him further into his frenzy claiming you were trying to dispose yourself of his cum. Trying to wash away his hard work! that you were refusing to fall pregnant as if by some magical way you had control of it! He had been brutal in his thrusts once you began to chafe he had kindly provided you with his own freezing cold saliva again making sure you felt thoroughly punished with each almost violent thrust.

You'd bled that night. He had been to rough and had torn you. 'Nothing you didn't deserve' at least that's what he had said. It was your fault apparently for resisting him and wriggling to much, you had laid there and cried sobbed your heart out for hours. It was hour later when he began to get worried as the bleeding slowed but did not stop he had held you tightly stroking your tummy. He shushed you before doing the most traumatic thing he'd ever done to you. Something you'd never forget or forgive him for putting you through. The tear was small but bled quite a bit and was in a tricky spot seemingly at the back of your opening each time you moved the bleeding picked up again so he had decided to cauterize to wound. You'd screamed and thrashed crying louder then before kicking out at him as he held your legs wide and 'healed' you. That was the first time you'd begged him to kill you. He brushed off your pleas just thinking that you had a low pain tolerance. But it wasn't, in that excruciating moment you wanted him to do it, to just hurry up and end you but he had laughed you off and gotten you an ice pack instead ordering you to lay splayed with your wound covered while he had a shower and left you in the bedroom alone.

That had been just over a week ago and was the last time he'd had you he was almost certain he had taken and wanted to let you recover but with his eyes he could see you had not been fertilized and was now once again determined to have you again despite the wound nearly completely healed you were terrified of going through that ordeal again.

He moved you both into the house away from the door moving you to the stairs. You twisted in his grasp trying to capture the banister as he made his way up the stairs he just sighed continuing forcing you to let got and screech at him.

"No Kal! Please KAL NO!" he clicked his tongue at you and began scolding you moving to tug you up the stairs by one large hand engulfing your bicep tugging harshly making you cry out as your hand slipped off the polished wooden post and you stumbled hitting your knees on the step before you and cried out again.

"F-FUCK AH NO! KAL NOT AGAIN PLEASE" you took a breath trying to make him see sense

"K-kal I-I'm not healed enough-" he just raised his arm pulling your back up he was stoic as he dragged you behind him warning and cooing at you all in one as he spoke.

"Love! what have I said about all that noise?..Now that's enough if they phone the police again you wont be answering the door in a sheet! Oh no ,I'll be answering it with you split open on my cock! And let everyone in the street see how good your cunt looks wrapped around it! now stop all this silliness you know that I will win in the end~" his voice was stern and exasperated like trying to talk sense in to a naughty child.

"K-kal I'm not refusing you please PLEASE JUST JUST LISTEN!...Your supposed to wait at least two weeks after you tear- even after birth its two to four weeks-pleas I don't want to, if we do and something goes wrong kal I might not be able to give birth properly later!" You panicked trying to convince him to say anything that would make him stop for a second. He smiled and pulled you closer tucking your head to his chest.

"Oh love no~no its not the same I healed you remember? It helped you! it wasn’t stitches I closed the wound my love your fine now and besides you’d have another nine months to heal...I'm not going to fuck you once your pregnant well not there anyway~...I’d never ever risk our child like that now trust me!" You cried really not wanting him to get angry like last time but you couldn't help but struggle against him it was just a natural reaction you did want it! Not only that you had anxiety over it now that he had hurt you accidentally, it brought home the fact that he was an alien. He moved to hold both of our arms tugging you forward and up onto his shoulder. He was worried he didn't want to break your fingers by tugging to hard when you latched onto the door frames and such.

"No! can we-KAL WAIT!-No can't we have dinner first or-or something Kal please- Please not now! not now!" You yelped kicking and slapping at him trying to get him to put you back down quickly becoming desperate to get away. He laughed twisting you out of the door frames reach as he entered the bedroom.

"Nonsense why eat now just to build up an appetite when I'm filling you~ Now I really would be quiet if I was you I'm not sure if all the media have left or not you don't want them to overhear and have an article about that now do you?" you froze gobsmacked was he teasing or being serious at this point you couldn't tell he would do and say anything to get you to be compliant, all you could do was whine and panic you knew it was futile to resist but it was ...It was hard.

You snapped at him trying to bite at his neck as Kal had made it into the bed room and was lowering you. He caught your jaw swiftly.

"Bit at me again my love and I will bite back much harder" You struggled feebly against his hand on your jaw he gave a quick shake of your face.

"Understand?" You looked up tearfully

"I said do you understand female?" You shuddered at the dark voice the pure alpha male tone he managed that shamefully aroused you, you nodded meekly as much as you could with the vice like grip on your face he just nodded with a quiet 'good girl' then proceeded to launch you through he room you landed with and indignant squeak you rolled over to your back watching him approach through teary eyes.

"I am growing tired of this love...I have decided that I should resort to some more...Traditional methods with you" you held up your hands willing him away he mocked you slightly as he stood at the bottom of the bed moving to pull himself free from the suit.

"W-what do y-you mean?" You choked on a sob eyes cast over him seeing just what was awaiting you as his cock strained against the fabric.

"Oh my love come now your a clever girl~ I'm sure you'll realize soon enough...I don't know why your whimpering so? And kicking up such a fuss you always enjoy it in the end why all this fighting? I make you cum don't I? make you see stars as I make love to you? I don't have to, I could just rip into you unprepared, fuck you dry but do I? No because I love you and I want our love making to be pleasurable for the both of us...Shh come on love...I wont dry fuck you...I promise....It would be to much for your tiny body....Look ok just lay back I promise I will be gentle this time~" his reassurance did nothing to calm you as he slipped completely out of the suit letting it fall carelessly to the floor. "I said lay back...Do not test me mate"

You weighed up the options and shuffled back to the head board whimpering as he approached you the muscles above his huge cock were tensing making the thick angry rod slap on his stomach leaving tiny spots of pre-cum across it the veins throbbing bulging much like the rest of him. He tilted his head at you waiting at the end on the bed.

"Mate come on~ won't you lay down for me? Be a good girl I've told you I'm not going to be rough today I promise-"

"Your always rough! You always hurt me!" You shouted already panicking not wanting him to touch you at all you cowered from him trying to curl tighter into a smaller ball willing him to leave you alone. He clenched his jaw neck twitching then dropped his head looking to the stiff cock jutting out and sighed.

"..I will admit our size difference can cause our lovemaking to be uncomfortable-" you growled at him

"NO! NOT JUST THAT YOU HURT ME KAL EVERYTIME YOU FORCE ME!"

"THEN YOU SHOULD BEHAVE!" You squeaked covering your ears his voice so loud it hurt, he sighed moving a hand through his hair. He hated this, your fear and refusal of him, he tried not to get mad but it was frustrating dealing with it, you-he his soul was bonded to yours yet you didn't feel a thing! He always got the brunt of it! It wasn't fair!

"I'm strong! And I-I struggle with my strength and humans! Especially you! I don't mean to hurt you but- your mine! My mate and I have a right to fuck you and fill you as I see fit. Now lay down just lay down LAY DOWN!" You tensed as he raised his voice he was going red and quivered. You feared one day he would accidentally snap a bone or-or puncture something whilst holding you down...Maybe that's why you did it? So he would kill you put an end to all this? It was the only way you were getting away.

Your thoughts were interrupted as Kal gripped and ankle and pulled ripping the leg straight and yanking you down the bed before flipping you to your stomach you scrabbled trying to get away but he struck you. His heavy palm landed o your cheeks your leggings offered no protection as his hot hand spanked you. You screamed out tensing your ass as he continued

"Its time you behaved! Time you realized your place! You are my mate-my lover mine! You hear me? MINE! And you will start to act like it or face consequences! Now get your clothes off and lay down like a good loving MATE, I'll not have you ruin a chance to conceive because your being a silly little human! These games stop now!" You wailed kicking out at him hurting your own foot scrabbling pulling the covers beneath you trying to get away but all you did was bundle the sheets at your tummy. Your foot throbbed from connecting with his hard frame one foot was still in his grasp he used it to tug you closer landing sharper blows to your thighs you wailed sobbing and rolled trying to throw him off but he twisted his hand placing you back on your front. His hand seemed to get heavier with each blow bruising and stinging your flesh all in one you screeched high as he moved and struck you harder still on the underside of your cheeks his large palm covering both at once, finally he stopped and threw your foot down to the mattress in frustration you cried sobbing pitifully in to your pillow that you'd dragged down in your bid to crawl away.

That was the first time he'd done that, he must be getting frustrated with you now he moved over clutching your throbbing cheeks digging in his fingertips to border pain.

"That is what I mean about traditional methods... You will be a good mate, a good obedient female, wife and mother! You will do as you are told when you are told or I will bring you to hand. Right now I am telling you, get your clothes off and ready yourself! Its time to be bred woman..Now move before you really have something to cry about!" You got up on hands and knees shaking through your sobs and tugged off your tshirt. It was no use maybe you should just give in...Find something in this fucked up relationship to cling to...Could you ignore him? and the things he did if you had a baby? A child to fawn over and use that to forget your fear and hate of its father?

Kal shifted pleased you were doing as you were told and he couldn't wait to see his marks on your ass. He should have spanked you weeks ago! It seemed to do the trick getting you back into line. Sure it was a little ...undignified but you needed a firm hand! He had known that for a while but had been putting it off worried you'd stray to far from him...But who was he kidding? he loved you and you him, you were mates and once pregnant you'd feel it to he knew you would you had to...and even if you didn't its not like you could disappear with his child, the world knew you were his the league knew and were keeping tabs on you and if all fails and the ranch in Kansas doeskin work there's always the fortress.

You were strange and confusing, for a few days you'd be docile and compliant a perfect house wife, cooking and cleaning letting him do as he pleased. Then you'd act up and need a little reminding of your place, he thought he could fuck the point across to you but spanking had yeilded better results already. He bit his lip as you curled your fingers around the elastic of your leggings and pulled them down slowly revealing a red bottom. His cock jerked. Fuck that was- there was something sexy about your meek demeanor doing as you were told, pulling your own bottoms down and showing off a beautiful round blistered little ass.

Once the bottoms where at your knees Kal moved forward grabbing them and yanked pulling them completely off. You moved to lay down as he had been ordering you to but he caught your tender ass in his hands you whined when he did, his hand caressed your sore bottom reminding you of his ownership.

"Now if you'd been good you would be allowed to lay back and be ravished nicely I'd make you cum before fucking you.... But now your not ,oh no now your in for a harsh fuck-getting a fucking with a sore ass!...I'm sorry love but this is for your own good,you have to learn mate" he moved a hand across your back fisting it in your hair and tugged craning your neck back you whimpered tears falling from your eyes and you pleaded trying to reason with him.

"K-kal I'm sorry please please don't hurt me- I don't mean to-"

"shh shh my love I know...I know its your human flaw...But you must understand you cannot fight me you can't fight this" he moved his hand in your hard releasing the tendrils and rubbed your scalp slowly with sting fingers almost lovingly.

"We-we can never be apart not now! I've mated you bonded to you on such a deep level, I just wish you'd understand...I love you! And I know you love me so why fight this? You could have everything human women ever dream of! A home, a husband and children! But you-why don't you accept that! Its what I'm offering you! What I want...Its what I'm OWED!" He moved his hands to your hips and brought you back against him his hard cock slipping between your legs running the top of it past your folds in slow fucking motions rocking you across him you cringed but bit you lip not wanting to provoke him further.

"After everything Ive been through!!..I you...You think growing up here was easy for me? Oh no I had to hide love! These powers they- I didn't understand what I was! I kept to myself was ridiculed bullied and cast out! For staying away protecting them!! Then as I grew it got worse! Alone traveling the only person I had was my human mother! Then I saved earth but it wasn't enough! ITS NEVER ENOUGH FOR YOU!" As he spoke he began grunting slipping his hot throbbing cock between your labia ghosting your clit making you whine trying to move away but his hands held you controlling your motions as he pressed his head into your shoulders continuing he rambles letting go of some of the baggage.

"I was hailed a hero and fucking turned on when the bill came through!..I saved your race- your planet...Fuck I died! I DIED! To save you again broke my Mothers heart and even then you couldn't let me rest! All you humans do is take take take! Your spoilt and selfish...But now,its my turn!OH FUCK YES AUGH" he moved faster bringing a hand around your front moving to your swollen clit as much as you tried to resist him it was to much, his fingers plucked away at your little nub like a vibrator pulsing on your sensitive flesh before jerking it between his fingers pulling and pinching as his cock ran lengths over your now weeping hole. You grunted softly dropping your head low as your legs trembled under the pleasure you stomach clenching and tensing with his torturous movements, the walls of you cunt quivered contracting wetting his cock even more as it begged to be filled.

"That’s it-fuck yes that's it mate get me nice and ready~ nice and wet ready to fuck you full again~I will save you you know, save all of you again and again ,but I know I will still be told to leave! But I wont not when I'm finally finally given something! Something of my own! To cherish, To love! A mate! You you've given me the prospect of a family and love and acceptance if only you wasn't a human! Why did you have to be human?! You are being selfish just like the rest! But no more...You will not be a selfish woman any more my love~ I've seen your heart-you love and care and want everyone to be better~ I will save you, I will guide you to be better, we will be better~ you'll see!" You moaned as his fingers moved down to press his crown against your twitching muscles you jerked forward moaning crying out again

"NO! NO PLE-KAL PLEASE DON'T PLEASE IM NOT-IM NOT READY I DON'T WANT IT!" He growled grabbing you around your throat squeezing threateningly you gulp as he slowly closed your airways.

"Stay very still~ don't you move love its time~ time to do your duty-your job! Time for you to accept me and my seed to be full and dripping and claimed" you winced gasping for air his voice was different darker more menacing it frightened you more then anything he had ever done he sounded mad truly and utterly stark raving mad. In the panic you moved bringing both hands to his wrists for a second ignoring the thick shaft poised at your waiting hot core.

"K-kal? Kal your-ah fu-fuck I cant- kal breath!" You tried gasping out words to him, you were unable to breath properly fighting his grip for air especially when his hand returned to torment your clit flicking and twisting it almost harshly. You bucked whining unable to stop your grinding as he chuckled his hot breath fanning over you back. He moved leaning over your back harsh words whispered into your ear.

"You know I could just fuck you passed out~ it'd be easier." He chuckled kissing at your earlobe taking it between his teeth and sucking then released.

"But I wont~ I like the sounds you make when you try to deny your body...When you try to ignore my cock as it plunges into your hot little cunt splitting you open and lodges itself inside you spraying your insides drenching your womb until I'm certain no more can fit...Pumping you full like a little whore~" you moaned as the head of his girth pressed at your opening instantly making your body lurch towards him. He chuckled and moved releasing your neck before you could catch your breath you yelped loud as he bucked forward spearing you back onto him. You clenched your fists into the covers below you embarrassed at how easily he entered you, your juices making his... journey much easier. He left your clit alone but you still quivered this time around his cock that stretched your insides.

"AAAHH AH FUCK YES THATS IT! GOD GOOD GIRL...SUCH A GOOD MATE!" You whimpered as he pulled back and began rocking slowly making you feel every deep thrust as his head bounced off of your cervix, something you were now used to. You winced as he ploughed into you latching onto your neck suckling dark marks int to soft skin, biting at your shoulders hard leaving the indentations of his teeth growling and grunting the whole way. You moaned as he tilted his hips and began rutting faster and harder you blushed hearing the wet slurping sounds as your sopping cunt fought to have him inside you. It made you feel sick

"Okay love see Uggghhh fuck yes that’s- oh fuck now remember deep breath one two THREE! Ahughh my god shit shit I'm there, I'm there! Fuck!" You hissed grunting painfully as on three he slammed you back jamming his cock past your tiny soft opening like he did every time he could and held still for a few moments. He caught his breath hissing you simply stayed still at this point what will be will be. You gasped when he began his assault humping and fucking you hard and fast there was no messing around he wanted you full, to cum again and again inside your womb. A man on a mission you squeaked as each thrust of his hips made him slap against your hot bottom his thick thighs punishing you out side as his cock brutalized your insides. It was a terrible mix of pain and pleasure as his heavy full sack swung hitting your engorged clit on each motion of his pistoning hips. He moaned louder and louder as you bit your lip you didn't want him to hear you cum. But you was going to! His body covering yours the sloppy kisses to your neck and the pants his growls in your ears as his cock toyed with your insides swelling and throbbing setting fires in your nerves you bucked back to him you couldn't help it! Maybe you were mates? Maybe that's why you couldn't resist him in the end?

You reared up as he got to much your body shuddering and tensing muscles feeling like they would snap under the pressure. He chuckled feeling you squeeze him trying to milk him.

"See?~ I told you in the end you know who you belong to~ now cum! Cum for me! Your mate your lover cum for your husband!" You did in one silent scream you bucked grinding back on him clamping down on his cock just as his balls tightened and released you shuddered whining as he held you firm against him his sack pressed tight to your little bud almost pinching it between your two body's. He grunted through laughs looking down rolling his hips slowly making sure you got everything!

"Good...I will never get tired of this~ your body so tiny ans tight but perfect...Made just for me the perfect size for me to breed you~ I love you mate so so much and I will never let you go ever....Now just here move forward..." he shuffled forward kneeling on the bed and pulled you from your doggy position the held your legs spread wide over his knees cock still fully seated inside your core.

"There we go....Yes I know your all tired already just let me do it ...Right there we are stay!" And stay you did. He wasn't done once was never enough he would go as long as he pleased. It was only a few moments later he had sat his ass on the soles of his fee and began thrusting again holding your hips dragging you up and down his flexing thighs feeding you the length of his cock readying you for the second load of the night.

You wept silently into the covers as he moved your body to suit him ,separating yourself from the act trying to ignore the way his meaty cock dragged along your insides sparking the lustful tremors all over again, trying to drown out the sounds of his grunts and praise than and the sounds that escaped you every few breaths quiet gasps and mewls. It was hard but you knew you could blank all of this at least until you came again which you would, you always did maybe that what mates are? He could rape you and you'd still enjoy it? You cant deny the man made you cum again and again, he forced your body to accept him and gave you mind numbing orgasms. Is that what it meant to be mated by a kryptonian? To be raped and feel sick and ashamed of yourself, to be a fuck toy! A brood mare! No you will not-you will not live your life serving this aliens sex slave fantasy....You were not sex on a shelf!

Clark looked at you as you curled up around the sheets pulling them to your lightly bulged stomach. You were beautiful the red hand prints for your spanking during your love making glowed a light pink and your skin was still decorated with his cum. You'd fallen asleep exhausted before you could run and wipe yourself down like you usually tried to do as soon as he was done.

He growled nostrils flaring this was how he liked you most, fucked out on the bed wearing his cum like a fucking perfume, proof of his love scattered in bites and bruises he had sucked into your skin and finally his hand prints littering your hips waist and arms, he had proven himself to be a strong male again; the perfect male to father strong and healthy children. There was a shiver down his spine that stopped right at his cock, yes he would be a perfect father and mate if only you could feel things like he did.

He growled when the scent of his cum got a little too strong moving to lean over you from above you from the head of the bed, he needed to check and make sure you held his seed long enough! you were curled on your side. He tutted the scent had spiked because you was leaking , he watched as a steady slow stream of creamy seed was escaping all over the sheets, he grumbled 'Its no use on the fucking bed!' he had no choice he had to move you.

You groaned in your sleep but other then that didn't stir he smiled he had done well today! You were in a deep sleep he sat up at the head of the bed legs together and settled you to rest on them, he pulled you up until your shoulders leaned on his abdomen sitting you up slightly then once settled he bent his legs feet flat on the bed taking you with them. He held your knees and pulled up curving you, angling your center up on his thighs. He wanted so desperately to keep you full, his need to breed you was almost painful.

He hoped that his plan will work, he had summarized that your failing to conceive was...well it must be a punishment! He had tried to force kryptonian life mate ideals onto a human, that would never work...No he had to have you as a human to, had to marry you then-then you would be fully his accepting him as your husband and fall pregnant! That was what human women did! What they were taught to do even the nursery rhyme 'First comes love, then comes marriage then comes a baby in a baby carriage!' The idea of children after marriage was so ingrained to young girls that it has to be the reason it must be it! He couldn't think of anything else.

He wasn't sterile! He can't be he was a strong fit healthy male and he wasn't shooting blanks either he-his it just never seemed to take. It must be some strange clause in the mating because he has had you so many times fucking you until your overflowing.

He has been careful to hold you still like this to give you the best chance and to watch you making sure your not getting rid of him now...But it just something was wrong by all the times he has cum inside you, bypassing your cervix and flooding your womb he should have taken root! He sighed looking you over again sniffing the air, you weren’t leaking anymore he would hold you like this for a while longer then lay you down to rest himself. He didn't need sleep as such but there was something humbling about waking beside you, hearing your soft snores and for a moment all was right in his world. The sun peeking through the blinds, the glow lighting up the room and he could pretend he was waking beside his wife. Sometimes he would close his eyes smiling and listen to the heart beat of one of the neighbors and pretend it was that of his child in the other room sleeping soundly. He opened his eyes looking down at you with a soft grin kissing your head then placed his chin on your shoulder looking down to your slightly bulged stomach still full of him. Today was not the day. But he stayed still watching his seed hopeful.

You woke up the next day the sun peeking through the partially opened blinds letting streams of the golden rays flood into the room. You groaned back aching you twisted slowly realising why. Your hips had been placed on not one not two but three pillows tilting your weight to rest on your shoulders you were tilted quite far, causing your back to bow and curve as if you were leaning forward. You blinked waving your arms around still half asleep you heard a page turn beside you, grunting you rolled over to your side hissing at the knots in your back pulled.

Kal was lounging on his side curved around slightly looking down he was you reading?... He tilted his head scanning the page and spoke still not looking up.

"Morning love..Did you sleep well?" You scoffed

"No...My back hurts...did you keep me like that all night?" He chuckled at you a grin on his lips.

"Yes...I have to try and keep you full how else will I get the job done? You seem to enjoy thwarting my efforts.." he finally looked up at you.

"But..I understand, well I figured it out a few days ago actually...You know I love this picture...The day I found you" his smile was bright it unnerved you.

"What-what are you? I-is that the daily planet?!"

"Yes...I popped out and got it this morning there is a cute little piece on us~ right here" You scrabbled up onto your knees ripping the paper away from him.

"Hey I was reading that!" You quickly scanned the page he was on...Another article on the both of you, 'Children before Marriage? A first hand account from neighbor Mrs Ellis' fuck. You swore and cringed dreading what she was going to have said but had the paper pulled from Your hands by Kal.

"That’s enough of that love! Don’t need you getting worked up! Not with today's plans anyway....now up and at em shower then get ready we have a very special day ahead of us!" You slowly turned to him a sinking feeling in your stomach.

"Why-Kal whats going on? That article who wrote it? I don't understand whats it about!?" He opened his mouth and looked down to the words.

"Nothing much, just that we are trying for a baby already and a few tid bits from what I told the press yesterday that your my life mate and as a inter-species couple we are still finding our way! It would seem a Clark Kent had managed to sneak back and wrangle an interview! I don't really mind it clears up some confusion." You frowned but Kal just grinned and leaned over you, trying to avoid him you shifted back and fell to the pillows behind you he laughed and rolled over you.

"Mate as eager as you are to be beneath me now is not the time~ we are finally making us official!" He leaned in taking in a huge breath smelling you still not pregnant but ovulating with any luck tonight was the night he just had to tread carefully now until today was done no point in letting you act up when he took you out.

He moved kissing your lips opening his eyes letting the red seep into them the threat he now knew worked not that he'd ever do it but you didn't seem to know that , he moved his mouth opening and closing in a sloppy kiss coaxing you to obey and open your mouth. You were getting better slowly. He was looking forward to today, would there be a frenzy? Yes. Would he regret it absolutely not. He had mated you as a kryptonian, fucked and claimed you as he believed his own race does to their mates. Now it was time to mate you as a human complete your binding as life mates then maybe you will finally fall pregnant.

Today unbeknown to you was your wedding day. Kal suckled your tongue groaning as you whined pressing your hands to his shoulders pushing but he crawled up over you rubbing his hands on your legs then stomach. He pulled away leaving you breathless and smiled, he always did love seeing you flushed and panting, pride flooded him as he looked on at you. His mate, his lover and today you would become his wife!

"Now I want your hair up today....Curly but leave a few curls around your face.And secure! We are going flying" Flying? Good with any luck he'd fucking drop you on a telecom's tower and it'd put you out of your misery! Unaware of your morbid thoughts He moved back off of you completely and walked around the bed to the bath room you cringed watching his half hard cock swinging with each step...You wish he would get some other clothes here and cover up you didn't need to see the object of your torture every morning. You shuffled back clamping your legs shut tight after seeing his cock half hard. Kal looked down with a chuckle.

"No...not now love! Gosh you are an insatiable thing aren’t you~ no that is for later for now you just relax as I said today is a big day for you...For us now hurry up"

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