#the little boy is like 9 and he said the most real thing ever today
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At work I've got 2 lgbt students. this little boy who always wears a rainbow ball cap and says "yassssss" to everything, and then a bisexual 11th grader who hates her catholic school 😭😭😭
#theyre my favs actually#the little boy is like 9 and he said the most real thing ever today#another student was like 'are you a girl or a boy? i cant tell!' and he said 'literally why does it matter? im just being myself' and#in that moment. i felt so seen#ty rainbow cap boy ..#i was like omg youre just like me and then he gave me a big old smile#the bi girlie is the sweetest too#i met her today and basically i was like#this gay ass haircut (referring to my mullet) is offensive to some of my family bc they think its not muslim enough#and she was like wait YOU TOO?#and i was like HEY YOU TOO?#and she was like what r u and i said lesbian and then i went wait ur giving me very bisexual vibes and she was like YOURE RIGHTTTT#z.post
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The Wayne's Nanny
Batfamily and Reader/ Bruce Wayne x Reader
Chapters
Ao3
9 to 5 (Metaphorically)
You had been working for Bruce Wayne for two weeks, and could for sure say that the kids were sweet, though a little out of touch with reality. Whether that was due to their father being the absolute weirdest man on the planet or from how rich they were— You didn’t know. Nonetheless, the days were long and tiresome. You wondered how you ever got through it.
8:15
First and foremost, you had to get up extremely early to see the kids off to school.
You fixed Cassandra’s headband on her head, making sure she looked perfect, before moving to fix Duke’s tie. Turning on your heel, your pink bathrobe swaying as you did, you quickly stopped Tim from pulling Jason’s hair.
“What did I tell you about pulling hair, Timothy Jackson Drake?” You put your hands on your hips.
With pink cheeks, he mumbled, “That karma will make me bald.”
“That’s right, and the last thing we want is to look like Lex Luthor, right kids?”
“Right!” They all mumbled.
Upon his approach, Mr. Wayne seemed pleased with how you managed the kids, even if it was in a less-than-professional way. When you fully turned your attention to him, you grinned, showing off his children. They looked good and healthy—Just as they did before your arrival, the only difference was that he wasn’t as tired.
“Okay, sweet babies, give daddy a kiss before Alfred takes you to school,” You ushered the kids toward their father.
Dick offhandedly said to Alfred, “Did I miss the wedding?” You lightly swatted the back of his head while Bruce was kissing the other children goodbye.
Slowly, the kids trickled out of the door, all of them saying goodbye over their shoulders. Now, you were left alone with Bruce and Damian, who sat securely on his hip.
The moment you turned to the two of them, Damian broke out into a bashful smile. You cooed to him, calling him the sweetest boy on the planet. Finally, you noticed Mr. Wayne again, “You should just leave him here with me. We’ll have such a fun time, huh, buddy?”
Bruce smiled at his boy, pushing his black locks back before addressing you. “No doubt, but I want him to socialize with other kids. The preschool at work is a fine one, too, and today is ice cream day.”
“Oh, my, then don’t let me hold you back! Let me get a kiss real quick,” A surprised look crossed Bruce’s face, but he slowly started to lean his cheek toward you. You swatted him away, making Damian giggle. “Not you!” You blew a raspberry against the boy’s cheek, causing a shrill laugh.
Before you could just snatch the little boy from his father’s grasp so he could stay with you, Bruce adjusted him on his hip before addressing you again. “You have enough to do for the day?”
You waved a dismissive hand at him, most of your attention still on Damian. “Oh, sure, my schedule is booked.”
9:50
Secondly, you made yourself presentable.
No one wants to see their employee running around in their slippers and bathrobes—Plus, Bruce already got onto about not dressing appropriately when some company had come over earlier that week. Luckily, being employed by one of the richest men in Gotham meant one thing; You could finally afford the champagne taste you had.
The only drawback? Beauty took time, so you spent a good chunk of the morning just making yourself ready to be ready.
You had to go through your entire skincare routine (of course, after lounging around in the big bathtub with the jets) before you finally went to your closet to pick out your clothes. Once you had something you decided did finally move on to your makeup. Not that you needed any, you thought, but there was no harm in adding beauty to beauty.
Eventually, the process of actually looking presentable came to a close and lunch was just around the corner. So, getting up, you looked at yourself one more time.
It was hard work being beautiful, but, damn it all, if you didn’t do a good job of it.
11:45
Of course, after you got ready you had to eat something, so, while Alfred meal prepped dinner, you sat while dishing out all the latest gossip.
As you shuffled a sandwich in your mouth, he told you all about Mr. Wayne’s previous relationship with someone named Selina and how it ended in absolute heartbreak. Supposedly, Bruce had been so heartbroken that he could hardly get out of bed and remained a recluse for months afterward. Alfred’s words, not yours.
“Oh, so not much has changed?” You asked, cocking an eyebrow.
Alfred tried to hold back a laugh and leaned forward to quietly add, “This was three years ago.”
You smiled. “So I was right, not much has changed!"
Alfred snickered, turning to peel some more potatoes, and you took the opportunity to tell him your woes with love. It was a deep, tragic tale that could jerk the tears from any eye.
Except for Alfred’s, apparently.
When you were done, he filled you in on an even better story. One about the richest of the rich in Gotham, and every word he said had you hanging on by a thread. If you hadn’t met Alfred before, you would have never guessed that he was the kind of man to eavesdrop or have a big mouth. But, damn, if you weren’t thankful for it.
It certainly was the most entertaining and interesting part of your job.
1:30
After lunch came the hardest tasks. Usually, you cleaned the gaming room for the kids, did some laundry—mainly yours since the kids’ clothes were already washed— and watched TV. Again, it was all in a day’s work.
After vacuuming the rugs, you put away the kids’ toys, wondering momentarily just how much money Mr. Wayne spent on them. Looking at the designer clothes they wore, the latest toys, and gaming devices, you assumed it was well more than what you made in a year. When you had enough of staring at their expensive toys, you ventured into the laundry room.
Luckily, there wasn't a lot to wash, only some towels along with Dickie’s gymnastics clothes. When you had done the last load, you found yourself settling into one of the lounge chairs in the movie room.
This was your favorite part of the day, where it lulled just enough for you to relax again. The kids wouldn’t be home for another hour due to traffic, so you had to whole place to yourself.
Alfred sometimes joined you with a bowl of popcorn, but, since it was so close to picking up the kids from school he had to opt-out. At home, you would have been watching one of those usual daytime soaps, but Alfie had started to put you on EastEnders—claiming it was better than any other trash American daytime TV show. It was only after one character had a whole dramatic flare over the smallest inconvenience, did you started to see why it was his, and Bruce’s too, favorite show. He made you watch so much of it that you had started to pick up some of the British slang, which did not amuse him or Mr. Wayne.
You watched until an idea popped into your head. The kids would be hungry once they got home, as they usually were, so you decided it would be nice to make them their special snacks.
Happily, you put it all together, and, when the kids came home, you were excited to see their reaction.
3:45
It was almost like clockwork the way they always managed to arrive home exactly at the same time every day.
You greet all of them with a big hug as you tell them about the treats they had waiting in the dining room. Excited, they were pleased to see that, while Alfred was out picking them up, you had gone out of your way to make their favorite treats.
Tim grabbed his plate and exclaimed loudly that you were by far the best nanny they ever had. A few of the other kids agreed, and you tried to not let it go to your head so quickly. Yet, you couldn’t find it in yourself to disagree with them.
They told you all about school, which, ultimately, just turned into a PG gossiping session. Tim told you all about this one kid, who was almost two years older than him, who always called him names and pulled his hair. Almost instantly, based on the last little detail, did you figure it out. Turning around, you looked at the second eldest Wayne who, despite being so sweet, could be devious and a little mean from time to time.
“Jason Peter Todd, you need to stop being mean to your brother. And what did I say about hair-pulling? At your age, you should know better!”
Jason gasped, looking around to gain some sympathy. “Why do you think it’s me?”
You cocked an eyebrow and that’s what made the cookie crumble. He confessed that maybe it was him and that he wouldn’t do it again. The rest of the table took their time calling him the future Lex Luthor, much to his annoyance.
You thought yourself lucky to be the nanny of such sweet kids, even if they were a bit weird. It brought back some happiness in your life that you didn’t know you were missing.
As the plates started to stack, you clapped your hands together and said, “Alright kiddos, once you’re done with your snacks, get your homework out. The faster you get it done, the faster we can all go play games.”
5:00
Finally, Mr. Wayne came home.
When he did, the entire house seemed to be in a clamor to get to him first. At least, the younger ones did. Dick and Cassandra seemed more interested if he had brought home any treats for them. When there was none, they turned on their heels and retreated into their respective tasks. That didn’t seem to discourage him though, and he was almost playful with the rest of the children.
When Bruce had thrown Duke over one shoulder and Tim over the other as Jason trailed after them, you took Damian. He had a pout on his lips, and tears in the corner of his eyes. When you asked him what was wrong, Damian informed you that ice cream day had been canceled because, in his words, the teachers were mean.
“Fair enough,” You said, taking him to the kitchen. “How about this, we get some ice cream and watch some TV, huh?”
Damian was close to crying, probably just as exhausted from the day as you were, but nodded his head. You gave him another kiss and let him rest his head on your shoulder. After you plucked a little ice cream sandwich from the fridge, the two of you went to join the rest of the family in the gaming room.
Bruce was there, tie and jacket abandoned, sitting on the couch playing Dick in Mortal Kombat. It didn’t look like Mr. Wayne knew exactly how to play, but he was getting the hang of it. Now and then, when there was a particular point he didn’t understand, Duke, being the sweetest yet odd kid ever, whispered to him what to do. Why a six-year-old knew how to play a game he was far too young for, you didn’t know.
Looking down at Damian, it was clear to see just how sleepy he was and you started to get up to put him in his room when Alfred stopped you. He offered to take the boy up and gestured over to Cassandra, who was looking at you with her big brown eyes.
“Hello, sweet girl,” You said as soon as Damian was gone.
Cassandra, who was sitting on the floor with a ballerina Barbie in hand, walked on her knees over to you. “Can you braid my hair?”
You grinned, looking at her pretty black hair. It was short, cut just below her shoulder, but you could make something work. She plopped down right in front of you and immediately you began to play with her hair.
Amidst playing his game, Mr. Wayne looked over in your direction to admire you and Cassandra. When you caught his eye, you winked and smiled. Bashfully, he looked back at the game. Unfortunately for him, Tim saw the whole interaction and started to loudly poke fun at his father.
Ultimately, that’s how the day went. It was a lot of work, and, again, you didn’t know how you did it. Yet, you were glad that it almost always ended so happily.
It wasn’t exactly a nine-to-five—It was better.
#jason todd#red hood#bruce wayne#batfamily#jason todd fanfiction#bruce wayne x fem!reader#bruce wayne x y/n#bruce wayne x you#bruce wayne x reader#alfred pennyworth#cassandra cain#duke thomas#clark kent#tim drake#damian wayne#dick grayson#robin#nightwing#batman#dc batman#superman#batfam#batfamily x reader#batfamily and reader
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How I think cod men smell like naturally their body. (hate dni)
so I have this thing called synesthics with basically causes my brain to use more than one sence when triggered for example I can smell pictures, I know it sounds weird but when ever I look at pic of smth or someone my brain makes up what it/they would smell like. (And to my suprice its pretty accurate)
1. ghost
I am 100% he wears Axe body spray in the purple blue scent, and not because its named Marine (haha). Yeah so his notes are axe spray, hormones(the sweet pinappley ones, not the gross just hit puberty boy type) and I think rust for some reason like he was in a mechanical work space.
2. Konig
Now this bitch confuses me as shit. I think he smells like medical equiment but at the same time I think he smells like nothing, netrual. I dont know he has a minty tone tho. So he probs just has amazing heigyne and doesn't over fragrance himself.
3. Price
He smells like tobacco Malboro, I bet my ass on that. But I would know cause I smoke more than him (he is 40+ I am beraly 20). But he also smell alchooly BUT BEFORE YOU SAY I AM STEREOTYPING!! I mean like fragrance type alchool, most notably after shave type of scent. Like spicy cinamon but in a more masculine way.
4. Soap
Before yall hoes come for me, sHe pRobS gOinG tO sAy He SmElLs LikE SoAp, NO BITCH. Like I said I aint stereotyping shit today. HE SMELLS LIKE A PHEREMONENAL SLUT not because he is my favourite but because he always sweaty in the game. But I dont think his sweat smells bad honestly, first of all let me let yall in a little secret ... if you exersice, eat heathly and let out sweat (you know ;) ;)) YOUR SWEAT DOESN'T SMELL!! In the best case senario it is even plesant. At the bear minimum he smells like a basic cologe that his ex or ghost bought him for his bday.
5. Gaz
Let me tell you hoes something. BLACK MEN KNOW HOW TO NOTE AND COMPLIMENT THEIR SCENT!! Did you read that or do I need to repeat it. He smells like vanilla, cocunut, sol de janero REALNESS. He has scented moisteraiser every where in his car, in bag, on a keychain, in his mulitary bag EVERYWHERE, I bet you he has one between his cheeks so he can use it mids war. (I AM DYING)
6. Alejandro
Now hear me when I say, I know he smells feminine. Which is not bad at all but I feel like his stuff is florally scented or fruit or something like that, but at the same time I fear he smells like my boy bff cause they have so similar vibes (I HOPE NOT). But also he smell of tattoo shop YEAH THATS IT. He smells exactly like green disinfectant soap with rose peals infusion, exactly that and if you dont know what I am talking about just imagine dentist office smell + roses.
7. Alex Keller
Oh I know he smells good, naturally and when it comes to fragrance. I just feel it in my bones. He smells like oils, honey and anything in that area. I just know he drenches himself in jojoba oil and l know he loves dior. Like thats it, he is an expencive smelling man.
8. Rudy
I mean, he confuses me. I think he is mixure of hormones (again not the disguasting) and expencive parfum. I think he smells "manly", it sounds weird I know. I KNOW! He smells like salty caramel but the sticky type that you can also eat as a chewing gum, if you are from europe you especially from the slavic or balkan area you know exactly what I am talking about.
9. Nikto
To me he smells like home and I bet my ass on that if he was real I would say that as soon as I would met him but I bet most of yall have no idea what I am talking about unless you are slavic. Well he smells like beer but not the alchooly type but the softer type also he smells like grass, nature and wood. Also he smells like tobacco NOT SMOKE but the plant.
10. Keegan
MINT. MINT. MINT. I know this man smells like a colgate ad, I can feel it. He smells exactly how water tastes after you brush your teeth. He smells also like rain but thats a small note, mostly MINT and fresh. If you are afab or use ph balance wash HE SMELLS LIKE THAT.
(no I wont do philip FUCK HIM, unless yall really want it)
Just a bit of my delulu for anyone that caress I CAN SMELL KONIG RIGHT NOW WTF, AS IF HE IS IN FRONT OF ME. It so weird help.
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2/29/24
TW: Animal illness and potential death
I think my cat Hemingway may die today.
Two weeks ago the vet found a lump on his side, and while we were hopeful at first that it may've just been a cyst, he's since gotten a lot worse. He's been deteriorating really quickly, not eating a lot and losing weight even though we've given him anti-nausea medication frequently. Last night we think he might've had a seizure because his walking became very staggered and wobbly out of seemingly nowhere.
I'm hoping against all odds that there is someway to help him, that today won't be my last day with him, but I'm not at all sure that that'll happen.
Even his purring is extremely weak and it hurts so bad to know that he's suffering.
My family and I have had him ever since he was a little kitten. I was only 8 or 9 when we adopted him. He's always been the most comforting, understanding, gentle guy with us. Once, when I was upset as a small child, he tried to comfort me by giving me one of his little beat up toys, but when that didn't work he bit me just to see if that would work. He loved cuddling with my mom all the time and he'd sleep right on top of her head at night.
When he was younger he used to be exactly like a dog and play fetch and we'd have to keep the toilet seat down for similar dog like reasons. He was always incredibly smart. I remember once we were watching something on TV together that had kittens in it and we were watching it on one of those older sets and he climbed up onto the cabinet and went around the back of it to try and find the other cats.
He got along with all the other cats we had really well, although occasionally he could be caught being a little bit of a bully to our second oldest cat Bella. He pretty much raised our youngest cat Twain as his own little baby, letting him jump on his back all the time when he was a little kitten and sleeping and cuddling with him. The two of them always got into play fights with one another too when they tried grooming each other and it was stupidly cute.
In his older years he really liked sitting on the front porch of our house in the Summer. We never let him go further than that for a multitude of reasons, but he didn't usually care. He liked the sun and the flowers and chewing on sticks that he found. He liked sitting on our laps while we watched the sun go down.
He had the cutest, whiny meow whenever he wanted more food or attention.
I really really really really do not want this to be the day he dies, but I also don't want him to suffer if he's in pain.
I'm sorry that I don't have a better closer for this post. I might not reblog anything on here for a little bit. There was a more fun post that I wanted to make instead, but writing this took center stage. Please love your pets while you can, please hug them and kiss them and tell them that they are cherished. Very few things are indestructible. Very few things are plastic and last forever.
Please just treasure your time together.
Edit: 8:20 PM
He's gone.
I know it's cliched, but it doesn't feel real at all. I know he's not coming back but I still feel like he should be here. He was like my baby brother, I don't know what I'm going to do without him.
I'm just glad that he isn't suffering and in pain any longer.
I'm going to add some pictures of him to this post a little later so that you can see what a good boy he was, but since I'm not really done crying my eyes out yet that takes first priority.
Like I said before, please love your pets while they're still in your life. You can never predict when death will take them from you.
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SIIIGH it's tng update time. wednesday we did "the first duty" and thursday we did "the cost of living" and "the perfect mate." boy oh boy.
the first duty: my precious darling baby boy is back and now he's doing CRIMES. college sure did a number on him
do you think beverly got the news about the accident and was like wow this is just like that time my husband died and picard came in and was like listen wesley is fine...he's okay...and she was like (on the inside) yeah THIS time. this time he's okay. and she realizes in real time that no matter what some part of her will always be waiting, breath held, for that call. that's what i think
nice to finally meet boothby although shouldn't that guy be like 90 or 100 years old rn? he said when picard graduated ~40 years ago, he was the age picard is now (60ish). like idc enough to break out exact numbers but 80 at the VERY youngest. if this is utopia why is he still doing manual labor???
also wtf was that about how he helped picard out of a jam when picard did something sketchy...i wasn't paying enough attention to the details but idk that i ever caught what picard actually DID. i guess it couldn't be worse than killing a guy though or he wouldn't have got so mad at wesley
i love how they had wesley overexplain why he left his sweater in his dead friend's room to make absolutely sure we knew it WASN'T GAY and by virtue of the overexplanation made it sound like a lie someone would tell if it WAS gay. come on. who cares. he's in college. if he wants to be gay then let him and god bless
in today's very special episode about peer pressure, wesley gets a full-on lecture from his definitely-not-biological father picard. like, REALLY let him have it. poor kid. i mean someone did die though. like someone very much did die
i like how in the end wesley felt all guilty that their ringleader was like nooo just expel me and leave the others alone like he said he would AS IF he wasn't the entire instigator to begin with. they should have expelled everybody except wesley since he broke ranks and then also sent that little punk in particular to whatever the equivalent of jail is now. the penal colony. whatever. didn't they have hard labor in collision course lmao i hate starfleet <3
like, i love the IDEA that star trek takes place in utopia, i love to play in that space mentally, but the fact of the matter is most human beings, including the ones writing star trek episodes, are so cynical we can't even imagine a world without corporal punishment where everyone is taken care of no matter what. we can't imagine a utopia without an ugly underside, which is what starfleet has in practice. so.
ANYWAY.
once again i am fucked by the limit of 4k characters per text block. this drives me BANANAS.
the cost of living: ohhhh my god.
okay, maybe i'm a prude, but i do NOT think it's appropriate for alexander, who's like 2-3 in human years and 8-9 in klingon years, to be naked in a bath with deanna's narcissistic nymphomaniac of a mother. i just don't. i get that in some cultures, including betazed for sure and klingons maybe, and also definitely some real life ones, nudity is not a big deal among family especially in the context of like baths or swimming. however in america in 1992 which is when/where this was written it DEFINITELY would have been weird for this kid to be naked and in a bath with anybody but his immediate family of the same gender (parent or siblings). you could mmmaybe stretch it to an uncle or grandpa since alexander is so young. BUT LWANAXA IS NONE OF THESE THINGS. it made me. SO. UNCOMFORTABLE.
i guess the tng writers really like lwaxana and think she's funny and quirky, which is why they keep writing episodes for her. i mean, her actress is/was married to gene roddenberry and also voices the computers. i get it. she's your friend, have her back on. but for all the crimes done by her (usually against deanna, but also against picard and sometimes riker), and for all the crimes done to her (ferengi rape scenes played for laughs), this really took the cake. not only is she an unwelcome guest aboard the enterprise, which is a working vessel, not a cruise ship, she spends her time aboard it undermining worf's parenting and deanna's counseling IN HER PLACE OF EMPLOYMENT, and then KIDNAPS A STRANGERS CHILD (his parent nor his therapist knew where he was !!!) to take him to the holodeck to SIT NAKED IN THE BATH. and then later at her wedding while she was also naked she gave alexander this playful little wink because he was giggling. LIKE. AM I INSANE? genuinely does that episode make anybody else uncomfortable. i know they didn't do it like that on purpose but it aged so poorly to me. like i don't get it...are there other people who think lwaxana is unbearable or does she have like. stans. a huge mystery
i also really hate that in her usual way lwaxana made the episode all about her stupid midlife crisis instead of like. letting the episode be about worf attempting to parent alexander. we never resolved the dirty clothes on the floor situation. we never got to see their contract/chore chart or whatever. is this why people say worf is a bad parent?? i get he was being overly strict and uncompromising (so was alexander, ironically), but we never got to see where it went, and i am WAY more interested in all of that than lwaxana troi
also lmao i nearly forgot honorable mention to this episode secretly exploring the fascinating new scifi concept of online dating. people got an interenet connect and suddenly anything is possible.
the perfect mate: i can't believe i had to watch this one right after i just watched that other one. hurg.
first of all, cathy was like, do you recognize this hot lady, and i was like well it looks like jean grey but she's the wrong age, so i said no, and she was like, oh it's jean grey. so now no one will ever believe me. also, i'm glad they didn't kiss onscreen watching her rub his little bald head was already too much for me it's going to be so hard to watch xmen without thinking about this now
secondly, picard fights in the war against human trafficking on the side of human trafficking. WHY are his vibes so bad lately. even beverly was like "you can't fuck her, this is human trafficking," and he was like "no i asked and she said it wasn't human trafficking so it's totally cool!" are you kidding me
first of all, let's stop and look at the spooooky scifi concept of having a ~woman~ who molds her very personality (and libido!!) to fit the desires of whatever man she's around so that it's impossible for her to be around a man who DOESN'T want to fuck her because she's every man's perfect woman. (except data. king.) AND because she's sooo desirable she's being human trafficked. and. nobody saw any problems with fetishizing this??
i think deliberately leaving it open as to whether or not picard fucked her was a pussy move. i think that if he did fuck her (and i think he did) you might as well say so instead of being a little bitch about it. you already made him complicit in human trafficking
and if he DIDN'T fuck her it actually makes it very nearly profound, if you take out all the fetishism - because all these guys are falling all over themselves to fuck her because she's drawn that way (like jessica rabbit), but actually all she wanted was somebody who WOULDN'T try to fuck her (she alludes to this a couple of times when he assumes she's coming on to him when she isn't), and if picard didn't, and THAT'S the reason she imprinted on him or whatever, you actually have something there. it's not a great something, but it's still better than the steaming pile of garbage we actually got.
also, having her ~reach sexual maturity~ (oh yeah let's not forget that while an adult human woman plays her she's """barely legal""" as far as her own species goes lmao) and imprint and become picard's perfect woman forever and then get shipped off to be that politician's mail-order bride when he's the one guy who also doesn't want to fuck her is ??? bad and dumb. like i get that's the kind of fucked up ending scifi likes to go for but again we are coming out on the side of human trafficking here. like, this isn't a bittersweet love story. this woman got trafficked.
actually you know what it is. it's "elaan of troyius" from tos except with way less racism and slightly more sexism. in elaan of tryoius she had love potion tears and she used them to essentially date rape kirk (as a means to escape her own horrific situation, so it was nonconsensual on both sides, but less consensual on his) and in this episode there was no forced consent on picard's part but potentially dubious consent on HERS since she has no choice in anything. and she is demure and accepting of her fate whereas elaan of troyius wasn't. and in both cases they just got sent off as mail-order brides to live with whatever diplomat required the purchase of a whole human being in order to agree to peace. cool. u can KIIIND of understand kirk wanting nothing more to do with her (again, she raped him), but PICARD?? who was supposed to be in love with her??? cmon.
tonight: god help us: "imaginary friend" and "i, borg." that second title would normally make me optimistic but i am a woman devoid of all hope. if they're as bad as the last two we watching i don't know how i'll survive.
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What are your favorite old memes?
alright then fuck me
disclaimer: i have no concept of time. also a loose grasp of what a meme is. i'll do a detailed top 5 & then some honourable mentions
charlie the unicorn. asked my mum today if she remembers me being 10 & liking that yt video and she said "shut the fuck up casper". so u get the vibe. cursed, brilliant.
youtube
2. mr happy face. also a youtube video. i won't link it because you shouldn't watch it please god. but also, there's a story behind why i like it. i joined boy scouts when i was 11 & there was a girl i had a crush on (yes girl butch babies in boy scouts)
& she LOVED knives (i have a type) but her parents wouldn't let her have a penknife so i decided i would, in true mating-ritual style, give her one of my knives. it was stainless steel and had this fat curved blade and she adored it and for one fleeting moment i had all the girl game on the planet. but she also decided to name it (as you do) & it was called Mr Happy Face.
3. any and all star wars memes tbh, but especially any involving my boy the gender euphoria himself obi-wan kenobi.
the GEnErAL KEnObi meme. this is imo the funniest version of it
also this one
4. any lord of the rings meme BUT have to genuflect to the king the one the only
youtube
it's 16 yrs old GOD i was 9. spamming the melty face emoji
my man sean bean. he can hit but like, he'd die before he got to 2nd base. sad.
5.
i still play skyrim & every time i hear this i want to eat my controller so this is clearly the beef stock cube of memes
honourable mentions
the itachi thing where it was like sasuke going 'hey, itachi' fucking 20 times and itachi going WHAT!!!!!??? & then sasuke goes '.... hi.'
the world ending in 2012 (you laugh but a boy in my class cried)
the fucking!!! millennium thing. where they were like 😱 computer code will BREAK (idk) my dad made like 300 euros just sitting in the office at midnight on NYE 1999. it was called the Y2K scare here look . to me it is a meme bc my dad breaks down laughing every time he forgets he already told me about it.
grossly misspelling benaflick cumbersome's name
centipedes in my vagina. salute queen.
none pizza with left beef
blue waffle (purely for the hysteria it caused in my friend group. can u guess i did not hang out with the most reasonable the less-prone-to-drama girlies?) DO NOT LOOK IT UP. i never have and i am so happy.
dividing by zero. my friend once fully slapped my calculator out of my hand bc she thought we would both die
gaia online is a meme to me. fuck that place fr. had my first online girlfriend on there though. and my first death threat. let's call it a historical monument then
again. not a meme. but does anyone else remember freewebs? where you could just make ur own website? & host ur own little forums. i THRIVED. made like 15 websites for my favourite video games that these days would be called wikis.
look shoot me if you want but potter puppet pals was fucking hilarious.
people's bios on ff.net. you really had to put every single quote you like from anything ever up on ur home page.? why.
the jelly donut meme from pokemon.
ask ketchum being 10 for 25 years
the math lady meme. she is so real for that.
#thanks for helping me to invent new stages of grief anon#my mum really did die for a second there when i mentioned candy mountain#she almost hung up on me#should be no surprise to anyone considering my history that i'm writing bealil knifeplay#anon
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I answered your get to know me 20 questions and I want to get to know you better too! So I compiled a 20 list of some questions I thought were interesting (some are from the list you sent me because I liked them too). If you don’t want to answer them or answer them publicly that’s okay!
1. What’s your go-to guilty pleasure?
2. What’s your favorite quote from a tv show/movie/book?
3. What’s one thing that can instantly make your day better?
4. If you could have any exotic animal as a pet, what would it be?
5. What’s the best concert you’ve ever been to?
6. What are you most proud of in the last year?
7. A place you want to visit?
8. What fictional character do you relate to the most?
9. Top 5 wrestlers?
10. Favorite book?
11. What fandoms are you part of besides wrestling?
12. Favorite movie?
13. Non-wrestler celebrity crush?
14. What did you want to be when you were a kid?
15. Favorite singer/band?
16. Favorite holiday?
17. What’s your favorite story trope?
18. What do you find most attractive in a person?
19. Sunny days or storms?
20. Cutest kiss? (Forehead, cheek, hand, etc.)
1. I honestly have no guilty pleasure so to speak. In real life, I am known as the nerdy book lover who knows every Disney movie by heart and has a collection of almost 500 Funko Pops. I am a walking guilty pleasure. BUT not many people know I love wrestling, mostly because I dread the "two talks":
a) But do you know it's fake?!?!?
(And because I'm a girl)
b) So you watch it for the hot naked guys?!?!
That being said, I am currently outing myself as wrestling fan because all I wear are my FTR shirts on repeat and people ask me about it.
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2. One?! You're killing me! Okay, I can do a top 4:
“You're mad, bonkers, completely off your head, but I'll tell you a secret... all of the best people are.”
Alice in Wonderland
"Your name is a golden bell hung in my heart."
The Last Unicorn (I actually have this tattooed around my wrist)
"Curiousity is the strongest force in the universe because it can overcone the two strongest braking forces in the universe: reason, and fear."
The City of Dreaming Books (losely translated by me)
Never cowardly or cruel. Never give up. Never give in .
Doctor Who
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3. Our dogs greeting me when I come home, the smell of freshly mowed lawn, and having some comments/notifications on my writing.
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4. I am not that much into owning an exotic animal. I like fluffy cute ones that I can pet and cuddle...so, if you want to count it as exotic, definitely a fennec. Those huge ears. And they're foxes 🤩
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5. Decaydance Fest 2007. My three favorite bands at the time in one evening: Fall Out Boy, The Academy Is, and Cobra Starship. I was in heaven. And at the end of it, I got to meet the singer of CS, Gabe Saporta. Such a nice guy, and to this day, the only celebrity I've met.
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6. Oh my...a tough call. I am generally never proud of anything, because I am a rather mediocre person. Okay at a lot of things, but not good at anything specific. If you're calling me out like this, I'll say this: I am proud I finally started writing (again). Is it my anchor in stormy weather.
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7. The Holy Trinity of places I want to visit: Chicago, Ireland, Iceland.
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8. The first that came to my mind is Luna Lovegood from Harry Potter. A weirdo, a loner, but a dedicated friend. I love her so much.
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9. No. 1 will forever be Cash Wheeler/FTR. Because these two little shitheads helped me so much with conquering my depression. For years, I haven't done anything I've enjoyed in the past. And they got me back into writing and drawing. And I've met some of the greatest people because we share the love for FTR. I basically owe them every good thing I have in life right now. ( I always get so freaking emotional when it's about these two)
No. 2: Christian Cage. My first real wrestling crush, and I still love him today
No. 3: Trent Beretta. He's just so criminally underrated. I feel like everybody is sleeping on him. And he is so hilarious. And gorgeous.
No. 4: MJF. Everything he touches turns to gold. And he's still so young. It's only gonna get better from here on. And I can't wait to see what he can do.
No. 5: Kenny Omega. I have said it before, but there is just something about the way he moves in the ring. It's almost poetic. I get mezmerized every time he wrestles.
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10. RUMO by Walter Moers. It's just so beautiful. Everything about it. But literally any of his Zamonia books are wonderful. I could ramble on about it forever it, but I'm biting my tongue right now.
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11. Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Doctor Who, Marvel, Batman, and Disney are my main thing. And the Zamonia fandom mentioned above.
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12. It's either Edward Scissorhands (first movie that made me cry because I connected so much with Edward) or V for Vendetta. And, of course, the Lord of the Rings movies.
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13. Chris Evans.
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14. First a vet, until I realized I had to put animals down. So no, thank you. Then a lawyer, but I'm too stupid for that, then a profiler. But that wasn't a real thing in Germany back in the day.
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15. Fall Out Boy. I've loved them since I was a teenager, and I've grown up with them. I will (hopefully) never get sick of them.
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16. I wish Halloween had been a thing here in Germany when I was younger. I would've loved getting all dressed up. In my heart, I just know it's my favorite holiday, even though I've never REALLY celebrated it.
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17. Hmmm, I don't know. Pining? What I do love are slowburn stories. Because although I can imagine crushing on someone right away, it will forever be a mystery to me how people can fall in love so fast. I'm such a slow person with this... probably why my ass is still single, noone has enough time for slow me.
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18. The two sexiest traits in my opinion: humor and intelligence. There is nothing hotter than a guy that can make me laugh and have a deep conversation with me about anything. That's borderline orgasmic.
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19. Storms. I'm not sure if one can tell by my writing *cough*, but I am not a summer, beach type of Person. I get a sunburn so easily, I even once had a heatstroke. No fun. The sun just doesn't like me all that much.
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20. An ex always kissed the tip of my nose. It was so intimate and innocent at the same time. And I am such a sucker for temple kisses. I love these so much, that's probably why they're in almost every fanfic I ever wrote.
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The Little Mermaid: Mixed Review
I finally got around to seeing the Little Mermaid today and I must say my reaction was mixed. Overall all it was enjoyable and some of the updates were great but others were a bit perplexing. Let’s dive in! Yes, pun intended.
Pros
1) Ariel’s mirror trick. Small change, but makes Ariel slightly more clever than lucking into catching Flounder on one side of the anchor, yanking him back and immediately giggling about near their death experience.
2) Eric’s updates. Eric from the original was cute, but the new movie gave him more depth. He saves dolphins! He’s trying to end isolationist policy and help his country through trade. He is an avid explorer and collector. He’s getting sick of the rules of his society.
3) Eric get his own SONG which was great! The song itself was only fine, but that he got one was top notch.
4) Halle’s voice, particularly in Part of Your World was amazing!
5) Ariel’s sisters. It’s nice we got to see her interact with them. I also liked that they have their own seas that they each manage.
6) Gorgeous CGI. I thought Under the Sea in particular looked fantastic, despite my other issues with the scene. The final battle with Ursula also was cool. The Mermaid bodies were STUNNING!
7) Ariel experiencing moments of doubt and nearly backing out the contract. Makes her seem smarter than the original Ariel.
8) Ariel’s Relationship with Eric. Because of the Eric updates they seem to actually more in common that both being pretty, pro-animals royalty and Florence nightingale syndrome. They also got more time together.
9) Grimsley’s updates. A Grimsley who is aware of Eric mood shifts, breaking rules to see him happy, and uncool with his sudden engagement to Vanessa is a Grimsley I love and respect.
10) Blood magic versus signing a contract closes the “Why doesn’t she just write it down?” loophole. Clearly merpeople have linguistical magic speaking, but that doesn’t necessarily translate to writing.
11) Consequence song. Having Ariel reflect that surrendering her voice maybe hadn’t been so smart was nice. Go self-reflection!
12) Ariel getting to her travel checklist: Fire and dancing in particular.
13) Eric’s ability to understand sea creatures is consistent. Very clever way to have him learn Ariel’s name.
14) Update to Kiss the Girl about asking if you are not sure someone wants to kiss you. Consent is so so nice!
15) Scuttle Butt song. I thought it was fun, and definitely the most memorable of the new stuff.
16) Cutting the Sebastian vs crazy chef scene. Can’t say I missed that.
17) Ariel being the one to break the necklace. As long as it isn’t messing with the story, I’m all for empowering the heroine.
18) Ariel’s electrocution. They are electric eels after all, and seems like a nice touch of cruelty.
19) Casting. Loved everyone. Scuttle, Ursula, Grimsley, and Vanessa in particular killed it.
Cons
1) Eric is adopted and it goes NO WHERE. I don’t know why it was thrown in there, except to explain how a white boy is a prince in a tropical island nation. If you are going to do colorblind casting, then DO it. It’s a fantasy country. It can be however diverse you want it to be!
2) Ariel knowing the ship was used for war and the words “feet” “fire” and “mirror” but not having visited the surface before. Scuttle doesn’t know shit so where did she pick up those vocab words?
3) Scuttle intro. Scuttle is a seagull and she should not be having underwater conversations. Also she eats a fish right in front Ariel and Flounder. Since we don’t ever address what mermaids eat, make a big deal about humans eating fish, and are inconsistent about intelligent vs unintelligent ocean creatures we really should not being eating fish in front of the talking fish.
4) Siren song is real. They changed lyrics to make consent be a thing and then implied Ariel has vocally hypnotized Eric. Sebastian said she did it to “save his life,” but he seemed to be breathing before. He looked like he was slowly re-gaining consciousness. We saw no wound closing and her lyrics weren’t about healing a la Tangled. If the thing Ursula does is a different use of sirens voice they should have clarified that better.
5) Half-Assing Eric’s country and the Mermaid Society Situation. Eric is dismissive, but the sailors are in the know about the coral moon and the power of the siren song. Both real things. The queen is aware of “Sea Gods.” Some supernatural force seemingly causing the shipwrecks. Was it Triton? He seems upset about the reef damage, which is odd if he is causing the wrecks. Was is Ursula? It is just bad luck? Who killed Ariel’s mother?
6) Under the Sea with no chorus of fish singing just doesn’t sound as good. Nobody is doing anything Sebastian is talking about. Dolphins aren’t “the fish in the see is happy and off through the waves they roll.” Dolphins are mammals and they eat the not so happy fish. Weird to show them during that line.
7) Ariel’s not acting “in love” in front of her sisters, prompting the Triton’s convo with Sebastian.
8) Skulls littering Ursula’s cave. Hard to see how Ariel is remotely fooled by the “I’m just misunderstood” routine when she enters swimming over hundred of mermaid skeletons. Also Ursula is literally playing with a skull during her song.
9) Half-Assing Ursula’s backstory. You can’t just throw out there that she is Ariel’s aunt and not follow up. Especially since they are different species.
10) Ariel doesn’t reference losing her home, her family or her best friend Flounder in Poor Unfortunate Souls. What’s up with that?
11) The whole “forget the kiss” line in the contract. The reason Triton can’t override the contract is that it is magically binding. Ursula shouldn’t be able to change the terms. Also it seems to keep wiping her memory which is a weird thing to have built in when the sea witch didn’t know Flounder and Sebastian were there. To make it worse, I don’t see the point. Would Ariel have been a bad person if she wanted Eric to kiss her so she could stay human? Not to me, especially considering he is part of the reason she wants to stay human.
12) Ursula monologues and talks to her tentacles like she is Doc Oc, but not to her eels. Where’s the relationship? She needs to FREAK OUT about her babies. That needs some set-up.
13) Inconsistent treatment of Ariel being able to hear her friends in the “Kiss the Girl” scene. Sebastian’s goes “Ariel doesn’t want us to interfere so we will use nature noises!” and then sings in front of her and she doesn’t care.
14) Eric’s Mom going from “GROSS SEA CREATURE!” to “WELCOME TO THE FAMILY!“ quickly and seemingly without reason.
15) The mermaid court being nowhere when Ariel is missing. The king of all the merpeople sends out his other six daughters and that’s it.
16) Triton doesn’t make a contract to free Ariel, he just hands over the superweapon to the already powerful lunatic with no guarantees on his daughter’s safety. Hercules negotiated better.
17) The final showdown. Where are Ariel’s sisters? Having them there would have created enough of a distraction for Ariel AND Eric to be the awesome tag-team power couple and together stop Ursula. We need something for Trident to respect him for other than his throwing a spear and witnessing Ariel being awesome.
18) Triton being murdered then resurrected rather than transformed in a lowly sea barnacle. If mermaids can be resurrected why didn’t they do that with the mother?
19) Final Scene. Getting married after the three days and on land of all places. Wrong on multiple levels. No modern princess should be marrying after three days. Just have them go off on a diplomatic/trade missions and dad and everyone shows up to say good bye/indicate a societal alliance. Also how rude to have a wedding where the bride’s family can’t attend. Just no. Finally having them also pop up closer to the shore than Ariel, literally in boats and nobody but Ariel is reacting. How did they ALL sneak by her?
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I posted 1,185 times in 2022
That's 780 more posts than 2021!
99 posts created (8%)
1,086 posts reblogged (92%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@dingdongyouarewrong
@gamerwoo
@nevoono
@i6wonsz
@crispy-chan
I tagged 465 of my posts in 2022
#ace talks - 400 posts
#- txt talks 🤍 - 34 posts
#- skz talks 🤍 - 25 posts
#srb - 20 posts
#- uquiz 🤍 - 18 posts
#ace rec’s ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ - 17 posts
#kpop imagines - 16 posts
#- moots <3 - 14 posts
#ficscafe - 14 posts
#matchmaker event ! - 13 posts
Longest Tag: 138 characters
#i’ve seen teens especially on tiktok talk about how gen z is gonna rule the world and take over and we’re so strong with our voices we can
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
9:00 PM
Word Count: 263
Genre: Riki x reader, fluff
Warnings: goes from 100-0 real quick so honestly nothing, but it starts off with explosions
Author: I want build legos with him :( man i just want someone to build legos and cuddle with :(((( i’m so lonely 💀 and thank you @seung-scrittore for beta reading :D
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276 notes - Posted April 25, 2022
#4
Our Love In Dandelions
The day you two met, you made a wish on a dandelion. Today, the eve of your 21st birthday, you find yourself making that wish again.
Word count: 3.0k
Genre: Beomgyu x reader, soulmate au!, childhood friends-to-lovers au!, fluff, angst
Warnings: language
Author: Thank you so much @sunlightwoo for beta reading ! this was also how i realized that, at this point, the only fics i have written for gyu are childhood friends to lovers but it just works so well for him idk. anyways happy birthday to this special lad <3
Playlist: here
Kids can be ruthless. In a time before you really develop a filter, words come and go as they please. Be it the coldest insults a 5-year-old can muster or the weirdest questions on planet earth, things are said without much care. Having said that, kindergarten could be the worst place ever sometimes. At least that seemed to be the truth for the young boy you saw curled into himself across the playground. He sat at the edge of the primary play structure, far away from everyone else running around on the field. Head tucked into his knees; his body growing smaller as he pulled tighter and tighter into his chest. You had barely begun to learn the names or faces of your classmates, but you recognized the small yellow sweater clinging to his frame. Your mind recalled a little boy in your class wearing something similar today; he’d been extremely energetic during introductions.
He must be that boy.
Moving closer, something else in your little brain clicked at the soft shaking of his shoulders.
“Are you okay?”
The boy looked up at you. His eyes were glassy, cheeks red and puffy. He seemed so fragile, on the verge of tears. Meeting your eyes, he quickly wiped at the tear tracks marking his face.
“I-I’m fine.” The small words stuck to his throat.
Looking at his frame, shaking and alone, you decided to sit next to him, “But you’re crying.”
His mouth remained closed but he couldn’t turn to look at you.
“Why are you crying?”
“I-I wanted to go play w-with them, b-but they said I wasn’t allowed to.”
“Oh…well, you can play with me. If you want.”
The boy's soft sniffles silenced as he turned to you. “Huh?”
“Come on!” All of a sudden, his hand was in yours as you pulled him along behind you. Despite initial surprise he held, as you dragged him from game to game, the happy little boy you initially remembered surfaced once again. The two of you ran and jumped and played for what seemed like forever, off in your own little world. But, as recess slowly neared its end, so did your small pocket of joy.
Tired from all of your running, you two sat side by side in the grass.
“Look! Dandelions!” His tiny fingers plucked up a fuzzy, white ball from dirt before puffing out all the air in his lungs. Bunches of white fuzz broke apart, taking flight on their own.
“Whoa! How’d you do that!?”
“You just pick them up and blow on it, see?” He repeated his actions sending another flurry of white into the sky, “My mommy says if you make a wish while blowing, it’ll come true!”
“Really!?”
“Yep! My mommy is never wrong.”
“I wanna try!” You reached forward to the grass, fumbling around with the stem before pulling it out. Following all of his instructions, you take a deep breath before letting it all go. The seeds scatter across your vision and you quickly close your eyes to make your silent wish. When you opened them up, you found the boy watching you intently.
“What did you wish for?”
“I wish that we’ll play together every day and be best friends forever!”
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291 notes - Posted March 12, 2022
#3
ASKING THE HH UNIT TO BUY PADS FOR YOU
Genre: SVT Hip Hop unit x afab! reader, fluff, comedy (?), smau
Warnings: language, discussion of periods (obviously), mentions of pregnancy and blood/bleeding (not excessive tho), no pronouns/gendered terms used for reader though they are implied afab
Author: lol idk 😎 posting this because i don’t want it in my drafts anymore ☝️
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493 notes - Posted April 21, 2022
#2
Out Of Ten
rating the things they “accidentally” leave at your apartment
Word count: 435
Genre: TXT x Reader, headcanon, fluff
Warnings: yeonjun’s feels kinda suggestive at the end but none tbh, pg
Author: come get y’all juice 🧃
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538 notes - Posted May 14, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
Happy Birthday
TXT wishing you a happy birthday!
Genre: TXT x Reader, SMAU, slice of life, comedy
Warnings: Language, suggestive jokes and innuendos, pg-13
Author: it’s my birthday and i decided to just put out something small just cause,,,but yay i’m older 🫡
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748 notes - Posted August 9, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
#tumblr2022#year in review#my 2022 tumblr year in review#oh my god#lol#i didn’t post a lot of fics this year but i’m so happy with reception on the ones i did#thank you all for a wonderful year here at hyuukais inc
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Mari congrats on one year for Little fox that's literally the story that made me discover and follow you and seeing that it's one year old feels kinda nostalgic to me. Also to add my two cents in the dichotomy of Petrichor and why people assume it's Jin centric from the previous chapter. I think most people missed why that chapter was specifically all about Jin and y/n. Like what you've already said the gala date was Jin trying to make up for what he did to y/n since his alpha was hurt because he accidentally made this misunderstanding with y/n and almost made them lose her.
Anyways dear Mari how are you today? I hope you're feeling much better and that you're not stressing too much and I hope you take the time to take care of your precious self 💕💜
That was the first ever fic I like actually took the time to write out.
Fun fact: I have a twilight fic on quotev from like 2014 that was only like 8 chapters but omg it was a mess. It was my first time actually writing a fic and wow I wish I deleted it😭😂
And I agree. I think a lot of people missed the plot when it came to Jin. Like he is trying hard to make up for what his alpha deems a crime against his mate. Like of course Ch 9 and 10 are going to be Jin centered as he tries to make up for what he “did”. This fic is planned to have 30+ chapters, not every single chapter is going to be ot7. It would never work. And plus, for the relationship to flow and be as real as it can get, the mc needs to have time to establish a relationship with each of the boys separately and together or it would never work.
I’m doing okay so far. I’m still extremely burnt out that I didn’t realize how bad I got. This break is much needed at the moment so I don’t end up feeling like writing is a chore or a burden. That’s the last thing I want as writing has always been a safe space. That, coupled with everything going on with my family led to such an almost extreme burnout/ shutdown.
I’m trying hard to relax and take time to myself. I think the wedding is almost what I need. It’s a fun time with friends and I get to celebrate my best friend and her new husband!
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this was just supposed to be a quick little log on some recurring dream that's been haunting me since last week.
instead, i go through all of the fucking motions of burning down one of the closest friendships i ever had. it's long. it's negative. it's pathetic. but i need to get it out of my head, because my mind is a spiraling piece of... and i can't concentrate on anything else.
i'm not going to private it, because private things don't show up in my tags and i like to keep these things accessible for myself.
maybe someday i can look at this and finally be able to learn from it. have fun with it, future eden.
.
.
when i was a child (around the age of 9), i joined a chat website for kids and teenagers after someone sent me the link over another, really unsafe chat which was the website of a popular cold treat here in germany (kinder pingui, it's been discontinued, thankfully, because it was full of creeps and groomers).
being so young, i ended up joining that website and.. it kind of became my life at the time. i had no proper friends in real life because moving around so often and being awkward and shy left me socially inept and relationships barren. from the age of 9 i would spend hours, every day, on this website, talking and making friends.
now, thankfully i never had any outright bad contact on this website. in fact, i had so many goddamn amazing and beautiful experiences on this website that i am absolutely flabbergasted every time i think back on it- because with the state of social media today it's just no longer possible. i am shocked that my experiences weren't worse, and i would count myself incredibly lucky to not have run into a bad crowd.
every couple of years or so, i remember it, and incidentally that website still exists, you can still log in on it, but it's absolutely barren. it died around.. 2011/12? really, it didn't last more than 2-3 years, but while it was up it was huge.
there are a few old souls from back in the day who are still friends and meet on it regularly (i still remember talking to them back in the day, i did catch them online a few years ago and said hi. it's an absolute relic from my past but something about it still just.. operating is so amazing to me. it's one of the few sites i was a part of that never got shut down and erased).
so when i log back onto it every once in a while, i like to go through my friend list and just.. check on their profiles. it seems some of them have a similar idea & they also log back on every few years (you can see on their profile when they last logged in).
the last time i logged on was.. i think last week. i don't know exactly what called me to it, i was probably thinking about the past again and everything i've done wrong, but i felt the urge so i went and checked.
i.. hm. i don't think about these people often, clearly, but when i do, it just hits me like a truck. there was one boy i was really close with ("clank") who up and disappeared one day, the last time he logged on was about 7 years ago, but i remember him very fondly.
there was a girl who i became penpals with when i was still very active on the site ("reni"), she had also logged back on a few years ago and sent me a lil message. it was bittersweet.
but.. the person who was the most important to me was a girl named "dinka". shortly after my mother had moved us to canada, we met on the site after i estranged myself from all the other friends i'd had on the website (depression finally kicked in hard, it had been brewing for a few years but suddenly the floodgates opened and i just.. felt like a burden, unwanted, pretended to have forgotten them.. it was stupid and dramatic, i was 10).
i remember the first thing i said to her. i was sitting along in one of the chatrooms, just lolligagging with myself. she joined the chat and i asked her if i could confess something to her.
god it was so stupid, but when she said "yeah sure" i just bumbled out "i love deidara" because i'd just developed this huge crush on the character from naruto. shockingly! she said "welcome to the club, i do too xD".
it was like we were meant to meet. i was so.. and we just.. it sealed the deal. we were best friends from that moment forth, nothing could separate us, timezones be damned (obviously she still lived in germany, it was a german chat site). i don't think i had ever made a friend that easily in life ever again. we talked about everything, and i mean. absolutely. everything.
i didn't have consistent access to a computer (only being able to use the ones at my mother's workplace), but once we got one.. i consistently would stay up past midnight. we couldn't stop talking. she was my rock, whatever i was going through.
we had this list of things we essentially had in common that we called our "Wilkommen Im Club (WIC)" (Welcome to the Club) list. we had over 50 entries, i'm sure. i would still have it if i didn't accidentally lose access to my old e-mail account.
we eventually moved over to msn, then skype, we would voice call sometimes. eventually my mother moved us across Canada again (Quebec to Alberta) and for quite a while after we'd moved, i had very little to no access to internet (only if i managed to go to the library since our circumstances were.. unfortunate, to say the least). we did exchange phone numbrs and managed to chat over that sometimes, when i was within cell-service (which was also difficult).
our contact lessened significantly, but our friendship didn't. it was one of the only "stable" relationships i was able to have outside of my mother, despite how instable it was, because the way we were living i had very little contact to other people, period. until writing this out i never really realized how.. isolated we were. i wasn't even in school for a good chunk because it was hard to find a place that would even allow me whilst our visa status was so uncertain.
once i finally got into a school, i was able to contact her more often again thanks to the computers that they made available to us. i still had no friends, hell i couldn't have made them even if i had tried in that school. it was a small school for "delinquents and drop-outs". not that i was one (i really wasn't), but it was, at the time, the only place i was allowed into, because they took pity on me.
i did.. virtually nothing at that school besides chat with people online (i had joined another forum during that time, to talk to people since dinka wasn't online during my school hours for.. obvious reasons, but we stayed in touch, as much as we could). i didn't even do my course work (it was "work on the modules of your grade by yourself at your own pace in a class of mixed grades"), i did absolutely nothing.
when i could, i would go to the library after school or during the summers to talk to her or to just escape from home (it was hard during the summers, i had to ride a shitty bike over gravel roads in the sweltering heat from out in the country into town. it was miles better than being at home).
i always forget how unpleasant those years were. but at least, when i managed to catch her online, we were able to talk.
god, i loved her so much.
but i fumbled it so bad. of course i did.
i don't believe i'm a particularly good person, or that i ever was. i loved her so much but i still couldn't help but.. screw it up. despite everything.
coming into my teenage years, my mental health continuing to worsen, not knowing how to deal with anything or cope. i just let it all go up in flames. i could've been a better person. she had the drive that i didn't, and i was so noncommittal it must've bothered her to no end.
i respected her a lot for.. just being, wanting to be. having the energy and the drive to explore her interests, do things, besides just. rotting away like i did.
i don't remember when it happened, i think it was before we moved to Alberta, but we.. got together.
while we were still doing our naruto fandom thing, i wrote shitty lil fanfictions with our OC's. she wrote poetry instead. the reason i'm getting into all of this, why i need to get it out of my head, is because it's been bothering me so much since, a few days ago, i remembered that i used to have an account on a german fanfiction site. i logged into it. i found one thing she had wrote back then. it was a little poem, about her "best friend" that she had sent me, where she talked about having fallen in love with them. she wrote it for me back then- i didn't realize at first until she basically outright asked me how i felt, that it was indeed about me.
it hurts to think about. i'd somehow managed to make this amazing person, my best friend, fall in love with me. i.. wasn't sure at the time, and i think i made the mistake, of telling her i felt the same and wanting to try it out. i loved her so much, i wanted to convince myself that it was romantic. i now know that it was just platonic, and i was so, so stupid.
we actually were.. together for a few years. while i finally got into a new school and somehow actually.. managed to make some new friends (a real life best friend, even, that i loved very much, just as much), we still stayed in touch.
but this is where things took a turn. i just.. lost myself. i'm not saying that to absolve myself of responsibility. but i just completely lost it. i mean, i always had. i burned so many friendships (online) down because i was so convinced everyone hated me, that nobody wanted me around.
hell, it must've been really fucking hard, painful even, to be my friend, or even just to try to be, because i couldn't be normal about it. i was always very all or nothing, and if it wasn't all then i would push everyone away. i was not a good person. but the key problem is, is that it was never like that with her. i never tried to push her away.
until i finally did.
i remember that day so clearly. it was during the summer. my mom had dropped me off at tim horton's that morning so that i wouldn't have to bike into town that day (i think that rusty piece of crap was broken, anyways), so that i didn't have to stay at the house. gave me a few dollars so i could actually get something proper to eat for once.
i always went to the library from close to finish. i was a permanent resident when i didn't have school. there wasn't a day those librarians didn't see me and hand me the computer access for that day.
late afternoon, she finally got on. we had been fighting for a bit at that point.. i mean.. not fighting, but i had been being very difficult for a while. always deflecting when she asked me what my plans were, what i wanted to do with my life. frankly, i had become really boring. i had no motivation to learn, develop interests. the things we were able to talk about dwindled.
that day she tried to talk to me about our future plans. i had said i would like to study psychology & she was insisting that i tell her more concretely my plans, how i would do that, where i would like to go, etc. she always wanted to make concrete plans, again she was very driven, and i respected that. but i couldn't provide her with that, i couldn´'t think of or even fathom planning for the future because i saw no future. i had no motivation, nothing. i just existed in my own little limbo that i had created of "get up, get online, go home, sleep, repeat". it was horrible.
(i'd be lying if i said it is.. that I am any different now.)
and i just broke. i was.. i guess.. always good at hiding the part of me that was, at the time, deeply suicidal and hopeless from her. i don't remember talking with her about my mental health in any capacity that wasn't joking, and i didn't know how to help myself or to even begin trying to make it any better. fuck, i was barely 15.
i told her i couldn't do it anymore. that she deserved better. that i was shit. and i broke her heart. or i tried to. while also breaking mine, because she was still the most important thing to me, even while we were fighting. i cried so bad in the middle of that fucking library i had to log off and go to the bathrooms to calm down because it was just so fucking embarrassing.
i ate a donut i had brought with me in that bathroom. it was pretty salty through the tears.
when i finally calmed down and got back online, we talked about it. we decided to.. keep trying. to make us or our friendship work. she refused to let me break it like i'd broken all my relationships before (deleting everything and disappearing, mostly. i was that kind of guy). which i was grateful for. but it wasn't for the best.
our relationship was never the same, and eventually it faded. we talked less, shared less. i got worse. life got worse.
eventually we moved back to germany, i'd told her about this, we still talked. we wanted to meet at some point when i was back. and when i finally got back i.. well. i did what i did best. i ghosted her. at that point i wanted to kill myself so bad and tried so hard to convince myself that i was finally going to do it that i iced everyone out so that i would "hurt them less" because "you can't hurt them if they hate you".
such melodramatic shit. it fucking pains me to say that it's still the first place my head goes to when i feel like shit. i still haven't changed from that even through therapy because it feels like a part of me that i just cannot fix.
because i still believe it.
well, she wrote me an email, asking me where i had gone? what was wrong? and i ignored it for a full fucking year. the damage that i had caused at that point was irrepairable. of course i knew that. i know that it isn't anyone's fault but my own. i felt like such a coward, i was such a shitty friend. she deserved so much better than i did to her.
i.. did write her again. a few years later, i sent her an e-mail. apologizing. not like i deserved forgiveness. there was another friend at the time who actually wrote me a letter. all the was from canada, she sent me a goddamn letter. as if i deserved it after just disappearing like i did. i could write an entire novel about how shit of a friend i was to her as well. we actually.. it's kind of funny but we follow each other on instagram to this day. every once in a while we'll ask the other how everything is going, because it's too hard to let go. we had such a toxic attachement to each other. that's the kind of relationship i seem to form the best.
the last time dinka and i talked was a few years ago after i finally replied. we chatted on discord one night. we wanted to talk again, but we never did. she never replied again, and i deserve that, or rather, i don't deserve anything else from her.
i am happy that she is healthy, she is happy, despite me. i don't know what kind of an impact i had on her life anyways, i can't find it in me to take any credit in shaping her because i don't think i deserve it (in a positive sense). i also don't want to discount it because i need to hold myself accountable. you know how it is. it's hard to put into words.
it's easy to say sorry, but i am so, so fucking sorry for what i've done to people in my life.
i always say that i don't want to be the pain that people feel, but i've hurt people so irrevocably. the people that i've never wanted to hurt are usually the people who tell me that.. they never understood how friends could hurt each other, or how one could hurt someone they claimed they loved so much, until they met me.
i try to move past that and be a better person. but it is so. fucking. hard. i know that i was a kid. a teenager. but i can't just excuse it because i can't absolve myself of that responsibility.
anyways... the reason i got into all of this, and why this is tagged as a dream log, is because when i logged in last week, i.. saw that she had been online recently. after years of not having been. after years of not talking and only rarely remembering.
since then, it has been appearing consistently in my dreams. her. the chat. the fallout. i need to get it out of my head. i needed to remember it all so that maybe.. i can move on from it. let it stop haunting me. it sounds and feels so childish, but i don't choose what tangoes around in my head and what doesn't, and it's been entirely debilitating when i remember again. i know that's probably pathetic. it happened so damn long ago. but i'm someone that's.. extremely haunted by their past. i let it define me. i know that that is so fucking dramatic. i hate it. but the sooner i can admit that to myself, maybe i can.. finally become better. i don't know.
last night, and a few nights before, i dreamed that i was on that damned website.
i dreamed that.. after all these years.. i saw her online again. i saw her online. i.. it felt so fucking surreal. because of course, it wasn't real, and it couldn't be real.
but i saw her. and.. when she saw me online, she visited my profile. she sent me a message. sent me a pin through my profile. (you would get notified for all of these), so i just.. had a bunch of notifications flashing up from her. interacting with me.
i looked at them, i was so anxious i felt sick. but she seemed.. open to talking to me. hell, she was hanging out in the chatrooms, as if beckoning me. i joined.. i said hello.. and then i woke up.
and i can't get it out of my head.
#dream log#my head goes right round baby right round like a deep black pit right round right round#journal entry#i could probably write novels about other people that i've hurt or friendships that i ruined because i just can't help my damn fucking self#i know that isn't productive#i needed this out so i can concentrate on studying because i really really can't afford to.. go another whole day fixating on this#i know it isn't productive to fixate on everything i've ever done wrong or every person i've ever hurt yet here we are#i need to fucking learn from my mistakes and just be. a better person.#negative#personal
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| adjacent | j.jh
pair: jaehyun x fem!reader
word count: 18k+ (unedited & not proof read)
summary: jaehyun turns into a golden retriever whenever the day reaches the most beautiful time; golden hour. a secret he kept his entire life & always wonders how long he could keep it, especially when you suddenly showed up.
genre: au + golden retriever!jaehyun + hs!nct
a/n: idk what came to me as i brainstormed this but by now, nctzens and valentines should know jaehyun’s a golden retriever :3 so i decided to write a plot for this adorable fact T^T heavily inspired with fruits basket and beauty & the beast! i really hope you’ll like it. lmk what you think! enjoy reading lovelies! ~j
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time was ticking real quick.
he rushed through the bustling people, avoiding the narrow crowds and jay-walked countless pedestrian crossings. he needed to hide. no one should see him transform. there was little time left. why was he so careless each time this happened? his parents and younger brother warned him to be alert at all times. did he listen? no, never did. they compared him to a rock— hard headed and stubborn. but all he ever wanted was to be free.
curses! just a little more, a few metres more! he pant as he tried to catch air. he felt his flesh tingling, his senses doubling and tripling. jaehyun peddled as fast as he could, at least reach the line of bushes by the basketball court. hopping over the plants, he threw his bag aside and jumped off his bike before bracing for the fall.
the now broken bell sounded horrible as jaehyun’s brother caught up to him with his skateboard. “dad’s gonna kill you if you ask for another bike for your birthday.” he sighed looking at the loosened chain while picking up the single-track vehicle and the scattered clothes.
jaehyun transformed to a golden retriever puppy and struggled to come out of the bushes with his tiny paws and body. when he succeeded, he scratched the back of his ears to brush off the leaves stuck to them. “won’t happen, sungchan. i’ve already saved up enough by then. i’m not gonna burden dad for my wants.”
sungchan pressed the bridge of his nose. “you’re kinda being a burden now.” he picked the animal— his brother— up and put him inside his coat, as well as the belongings on the ground. he hopped on the bike and headed towards jaehyun’s campus.
“what did you say?” jaehyun barked tried opening the zipper from the inside of sungchan’s coat.
“nothing.” the younger excused. “but can i have your bike if you actually plan to get a new one?”
“ugh just bring me to the court. i’ll be late for my morning practice.”
the brothers were able to communicate telepathically as they’re related and were both cursed. instead of golden hour, sungchan transforms during the blue hour, which occured at twilight. tracing back to their ancestors, all were cursed for unknown inexplainable circumstances. they tried breaking it with all they could. every idea ended a failure. so they had to live through it, adjust, adapt and be alert.
they bumped into ten, kun and jungwoo, who were doing warm-ups and they simultaneously trailed their eyes and heads towards the jung brothers. seeing the huge pouch on sungchan’s stomach area, they all cracked up and checked the time. “oh yeah, it’s sunrise.” jungwoo spun the ball on his pointer finger.
ten grabbed the pup with one hand and jaehyun barked at him but he couldn’t understand a thing. although he was confused, he continued to carry him in his palm because jaehyun’s response was funny. “what is he trying to say?” he chuckled and poked the pup’s snout.
“he said ‘it hurts. put me down idiot’. i have to be honest with you hyung. holding us by the back of the neck really hurts.” unlike his brother, he was rather calm and collected despite already imagining the pain.
“you’re a blue holland lop bunny. it’s normal to carry you like this too right?” ten showed the pup to sungchan.
kun facepalmed at the question and took jaehyun. “no dimwit it’s not normal. sorry jae. you know he just likes teasing your puppy form.”
“‘wait until i turn back’- ugh seriously do i really have to translate hyung’s words every time?” sungchan gave jaehyun’s clothes and bike to jungwoo. “you know what to do when he transforms back yeah?”
they nodded and upon seeing the kid leave and headed towards his campus, jaehyun couldn’t wait to turn human. he would always beat ten up almost immediately— sometimes forgetting that he was naked. for the dudes it was alright. the problem was if he was with girls, though he hasn’t encountered anyone so far. he hoped he didn’t have to.
the harsh drills from basketball practice already sucked the energy out of jaehyun. not only that it was physically tiring, transforming into a dog twice a day before that have doubled the strain. then him transforming back would cause migraines and painful joints, as they were the aftermath of the curse. he had to keep his title of m.v.p and captain since the told them there was a possibility of him of having a scholarship for college. he couldn’t let a minor pain hinder that chance. not ever.
however, ten and the others could read his suffering. to them it was obvious through his exhales and slowing speed. hiding it was of no use. jungwoo ruffled his hair with a clean towel after shower. “can’t you just be like that dog in the movie ‘up’? have a collar that translates barks into actual language?”
jaehyun rolled his eyes and wore his black t-shirt. “it’s a damn movie, jungwoo. the world might’ve evolved and advanced in technology and even if they were to exist they’d be expensive. can’t afford that.”
“you sound negative, don’t you have any hope at all?” kun joined the conversation.
“never had any. stopping this curse is impossible. it’s been generations. my dad’s still suffering too. i have to find a way.” he fixed his black cap in front of a mirror.
but he knew there wasn’t. silence loomed above them as the team struggled to continue the topic. they tried not to bring it up yet each time they did, it always ended awkwardly and badly. it was either they riled jaehyun’s mood— mostly ten— or jaehyun himself was building his own raincloud by sulking about it and not looking at the bright side.
how ironic it was, he thought. generally speaking, even though being golden had good intentions and the breed was meant to bring happiness to others, he felt the total opposite. if he had to describe it, it was all insecurity, lowered his self-esteem and hopelessness only increased over the years as he grew.
thinking about it, he slammed the locker a little too hard that its components caused it to bounce back.. and also added to fuel of his anger. “break that again you’ll be in the coach’s office.” kun tied his shoelaces and the others agreed.
“my dad is the coach, what do you mean?” he questioned at the stupidity.
“you didn’t show up the last time it broke. we got the punished in your stead. uncle wasn’t happy.” ten got out of the showers last, a towel was wrapped around his waist before the younger ones were scarred for a second.
“it was sunset and i transformed! of all people dad’s supposed to understand! i-” jaehyun rubbed his face quite agressively and headed straight outside.
“oi i’m still changing! wait up!”
jaehyun kicked the bike’s stand attached to the rear wheel. he and his father didn’t have the best relationship compared with other kids, but he could say that it was better than the relationship he had with his mother. she loved her little family, yet over time the curse grew onto her. her husband would turn into a werewolf at full moon. and until now, even though that happened once month, she thought a part of him wasn’t the same person she loved before. even more so, when her sons were just the same as him.
your mom’s delusional! she doesn’t love us! she fears us!
that feeling stayed in the boys’ mind until they were old and mature enough to comprehend the situation they’re in. why couldn’t she love them like any mom would? she was no different from an animal mother abandoning her calf/pup just because they were or had defects.
mr. jung tried his best to be the perfect father, for only he understood what his two sons were going through, as they might go through decades with it, just like he was. jaehyun still remembered his first transformation, he only had puppy paws, but that was a sign to mr. jung that he indeed inherited the curse. when sungchan grew a tail at a fine age of one, their father gave up his 9-5 hour office job to tend the boys. and that was before he became jaehyun’s basketball coach. now he could monitor them at a close range.
much to jaehyun’s dismay and for that reason, he felt more caged and overprotected.
—
“y/n! coach’s looking for you!” your classmate called.
no.. you groaned. again?..
it was already after school hours. you slouched on your desk as you covered your ears, remembering the errands he asked you to do previously. you didn’t know why, but ever since you had detention because you refused to run a 1600m marathon for an assessment, seemed like the other punishment was that he passed his job to you. that was a month ago, and today was the tenth time.
but curious as you were to find answers, you brushed it off and tried not to show any remorse. it’s all for conduct, you kept telling yourself. the whistle echoed the entire hallway and jolting you up in your seat. “okay, okay! hold on!” you yelled from the back of the classroom.
as coach jung stood rather comfortably outside the room, he gestured you to walk faster with a dimpled smile. “y/n! took you approximately three minutes to walk here.” he laughed and handed you several files and a zipper folder.
“thanks for counting?..” you replied with a confused and questioning tone. “coach, what’s this?”
“all school sports teams will have an annual retreat before their playoff seasons. i need a representing manager since ours was admitted to a hospital just today.” he pointed at the list. you followed his finger and it landed on your name.
“sounds like to me it’s more practice. and you want me to go because?” you raised your brows. he asked you to follow him to the gymnasium, in which it was making you recall all those extra detention after school.
“to make up with all of the p.e assessments you ‘purposely’ missed.” he said proudly while looking at his team doing drills. but he didn’t get any response from you. when he looked on his side, you were gone and ran across the basketball gym. “y/f/n!”
you squealed as embarrassment crawled your entire body. not only were you escaping from coach, you were disrupting the team’s practice and hitting couple of duffel bags and water bottles. “ah! sorry! coming through!”
*whistles* “after her!” coach jung’s voice added an extra chill to your spine.
“ugh why us?” ten groaned with sore muscles as coach gestured to them widely.
“just go.” kun panted.
then you heard a several footsteps turn into drums until they sounded a stampede. you jumped on your toes as you passed the line of showers cubicles. good thing you haven’t seen a naked man, or else you’d faint without knowing. you turned around and went straight ahead then to your right, and hid in a random room. the echoing voices and squeaking friction between shoes and waxed floors were cut to a silence, like your ears were muffled instantly.
your wobbly legs were tired and you were sighing in exhaustion and crouched down against the door. great, i’ll stay out of their sight- “what are you doing here?” you heard a low voice and froze on the spot. “only members of the basketball team can access the meeting room.”
that sounded like the captain.
“did you hear what i just said?” he raised his brows. you slowly lifted your eyes from his shoes to his legs, then to his built and face. “well if you’re a nobody you might as well leave before coach arrives. you interrupted my recording-”
“i heard you jung jaehyun.” you tsked and realised you had the name list on your hand. “ah, as a matter of fact, i can be here because i am part of the team. my name’s on the list.” you grabbed a pen and ticked the empty box on the paper.
what are you saying, stupid?!
“uh-huh..” jaehyun trailed, putting down his camera.
“y-yeah!” you stuttered. “you heard me.”
the door shook by the loud knocks from the other side. on the frosted window, you could see four figures. orange and black jerseys, they must be the team members. “ah! the door’s locked! she’s definitely in here coach!” one said.
“i’ll toss you the keys!” he yelled. oh crap. you were caught in between. your heart patterned with the knocks.
“you look terrified after hearing coach, y/n.” the chair squeaked from the weight. “i’m guessing you’re that troublesome student he has a hard time dealing with recently?”
of course captain knows you. great reputation you have, y/n.
“so? what’s your point?” you stood up to see his amused grin.
“say hello to a term’s detention.” jaehyun waved as the door swung open, revealing ten, kun, jungwoo and.. the coach.
you sighed heavily and dropped the papers. the coach crossed his arms and you lowered your head a little. “you plan to escape again y/n? then i shouldn’t hear any excuses from you. you’ll join us for the twelve day retreat. period.” he picked the papers up and wrote something.
“sir i can’t be with a bunch of jocks for that long!” your whine had the captain blocking his ears. “i have debate finals to attend to.”
jaehyun flinched at the high pitched sound and rolled his eyes. what was your deal? it was rude of you to suddenly barge into athlete’s quarters but judging them for that was even more rude of you. he had to shut you up at some point.
“so much excuses.” he played with his nails and to you he looked more amused than ever. you rolled your eyes at his chuckle and know he would target you from now on. “dad, y/n told me she’s ‘part of the team’.” he played his video that recorded your voice, clearly saying what jaehyun heard.
coach jung looked rather surprised, but his smile definitely screamed happy. “oh? that’s all i needed to hear. welcome, uh- temporarily. i’ll inform mrs. park about the situation.”
nononono- “i did this.” you were at a loss for words. “i won’t be able to compete in the debate.”
“yeah pretty much you made the wrong decision.” jaehyun stood to tower over you. “i’d like to see you suffer our drills-”
four knocks cut jaehyun off. “oh no, she’ll only do those for two days.”
you swifted your head in confusion, seeing coach jung wrote down your schedule on the white board. you were packed and it’s a lot worse than the actual assessment planned in school. “and what about the rest of the ten days?!” you exasperated that your hairtie snapped at the right moment, and your hair fell in sightful way.
“ooh that was hot.” ten commented in soft whisper, causing kun and jungwoo nudge him on the each side.
“she’ll be our manager for the remaining days, keep track of our drills and score points, or other extra things i needed a hand with while taeyang’s in the hospital.”
jaehyun rested his palms on his waist, swirling his tongue inside with a provoking gaze at you. “see if you can keep up, manager.” he chuckled.
you checked the time, it was nearing 5 p.m. “you know what, give me a day to process all this sport thing. it’s close to evening and i have to get going-”
“it’s evening already?” jaehyun cut you off as he looked outside the window.
the sun glistening at the distance while the sky showed a pretty ombré of warm colours. his senses doubled again and his whole body ached. he had to make you leave. it was already enough that his friends knew about his situation. there’d only be more trouble if you knew too.
“uh duh? the clock’s right there.” you pointed.
“hm, anyway you have to leave now.”
“sheesh i was going to anyway.” you rolled your eyes, but felt jaehyun’s palms behind your back. “hey stop pushing!”
“you’re too slow!” his tone changed. different than the usual because panic was what you felt from his palms. “quickly!”
the rest of the boys could tell you were pissed. they couldn’t understand why jaehyun had to make a fuss out of it when all he had to do was to kindly ask you. using force would only cause misunderstandings, like what’s happening now. “hey what’s your deal?!” you flicked his arms. “do you like to push people around? just because i’ll be with the team for the next two weeks, that doesn’t mean you could treat me like this already!”
“tsk so noisy! you’re wasting time! just leave would you?!” jaehyun turned you around towards the door.
this time you wouldn’t budge. “no jung jaehyun i need an explanation with this stupid attitude of yours!” you wriggled off of his hold, pushing him back with pats several times more that he stepped backwards.
“i don’t owe you an explanation!”
“you definitely do?!”
“why can’t you listen to what i say?”
“why can’t you stop being pushy, pushy?”
“you’re the one pushing me! time’s ticking y/n!”
the continuous back and forth of bickers and the war of pushing each other was an idiotic sight. your wrist was in jaehyun’s palms as he gripped you tighter. “i don’t care captain jerk! it wouldn’t bother you or hurt you to just give me one reason- and he slammed the door at my face! argh!”
jaehyun smirked wide and proudly knowing that he ‘won’ argument. silencing you was better than letting you see his other form. the boys stared him once he turned around to face them. “what?” he questioned,
“definitely not the right way to treat a girl.” they all said simultaneously.
“you know how bad it makes me feel when you all said it at the same time?” jaehyun pressed the bridge of his nose.
he knew well enough that this wasn’t his usual self. he’s good friends with you despite being in different teams of the school. you both took literature as your electives. sometimes you’d let him copy your notes when he had matches or leave small appetisers and juice cartons when he was tired and vice versa.
but no matter how close you both were, he couldn’t afford to let you see his other self.
not just yet.
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waking up so early in the day to assist the team was way more annoying than birds chirping by your bedroom’s window. instead of hearing their tuneful tweets, you had to endure endless phone calls every minute. you couldn’t remember much from that day because you passed out. and the team didn’t look for you until yesterday.
coach jung waved to catch your attention, only to be greeted with your huge yawn and a disinterested face.
“ah there she is! c’mon now, i got the green light from mrs. park. she agreed that p.e is the only subject you’re likely to fail this semester, so she’s giving you a cool-off from the team and focus on here.”
“yep. heard you coach.” you tied up your hair, only listening to half of what he said. “where’s the captain?”
kun did few stretches & jumps, his expression mirrored the other two boys who were also doing the same. you had a feeling about this— their telepathic gaze and awkward silence. you took a basketball to pass it to ten. “is he still mad about me calling him a jerk? that was a few days ago and i didn’t expect him to be that sensitive.”
they laughed because they couldn’t deny his obvious trait. “he doesn’t show it but somehow you know he is.” ten passed the ball back to you. “but not this morning y/n. he’s late for.. another reason.”
you hopped to catch it yet you were a second late, and groaned as you had to run far to retrieve it. “uh-huh. nature calls in the morning, again?” you yelled.
“do you think she knows about jaehyun?” jungwoo asked the older ones. they eyed you rummaging in the bushes for the ball, later looking back at each other for answers, but no one knew how your mind worked. “it’s been five days and no word from her at all.”
“if she actually does, i guess she just doesn’t want to be involved? i think we can trust her for that.” kun drank from his bottle.
ten didn’t look convinced. “involved or not, we have to make sure she doesn’t tell anyone about jaehyun’s curse. keep an eye on her-”
“ah!” they heard your squeals and ruffles from the bushes. “guys look what i found!”
kun sighed when they saw you running back with a golden retriever puppy in your arms, taking back his words said earlier.
“uh-oh. that scream means she has no clue at all.” jungwoo brushed his hair up.
“this puppy is so cute! i wonder what it’s doing here? are you lost?” you hugged and sniffed into its fur and gosh it smelled like vanilla shampoo. there was a metal collar around its neck, the piece spelled “jj”. “aww it has a name!”
no matter how happy you looked from the boys, they couldn’t help but take a photo of you and ‘puppy’ jaehyun. they had to tell you before it was too late. the golden hour in the morning was shorter than sunset, so either they would tell you straight up, or let jaehyun transform back to human.
but guess what? they were too late. they shouldn’t have second-guessed.
what had happened was way beyond your comprehension. it was in an instant. all it felt in totality was that, you weren’t carrying a puppy anymore. you lost balance and the weight in your arms doubled or tripled, you couldn’t tell. but you knew you were falling backwards. was there to brace for impact? none.
you blinked several times from the orange sunrise blinding your vision from the window. slowly you got up to sit and soothe the pain. that hurt..
here’s the thing. remember you mentally told yourself you hoped you didn’t run into any naked boy in the basketball team’s showers? there you have it. you jinxed it. jaehyun’s figure was on top of yours and you knew he had no clothes on. oh goodness.
“hyung? you forgot your lunch box- oh.” sungchan barged in the scene and everyone could tell he sort of malfunctioned. he froze then facepalmed.
you took turns into looking at the embarrassed jaehyun and at the boys who whistled to avoid the numbers of questions you were going to ask.
kun quickly shielded your eyes where your doubts were showing in your face. and no matter how much thought hard, you just couldn’t believe it. with fear written all over you, you dusted your pants and hands reached kun’s arm to support your weight.
“oh so you shielded her eyes but not my body?!” jaehyun’s voice entered your ears and you swore there was a hint of puppy whimper.
“this is a dream.. right?..” you asked before you fainted.
sungchan managed to save you from the fall. “whoa! ah, i had a feeling something like this would happen.”
—
“was she always like that?” minnie took a peep of your classroom, her eyes showed confusion. “is she tired?”
lisa shrugged and in her innocence she pursed her lips. “i don’t know. she’s been sighing a lot for the past hour? i wanna ask her but it might be too personal.”
you could her them and they were wrong. it was nothing personal at all. you’ve been sighing because you didn’t know how it was possible but it just happened— right before your eyes. since then you hoped that science could explain but not even the smartest people could give you a conclusion. you’ve been called out from lessons that came in the day and not that you didn’t blame jaehyun.
because for one thing, he at least told you the truth and the answer to your question as to why he had to make you leave that day. you propped your chin on your palms from jaehyun’s warning: “tell anyone i swear i’ll make you run a hundred laps with no water breaks.”
but the other thing? he was naked. and that’s not something you could erase in your memories overnight.
you let out a small whine that led to minnie and lisa copying your position, obviously making fun of you. “seriously, not a good time.” you laid on the table and hid from them. “don’t ask me anything.”
minnie and lisa looked at each other as you were being unreasonable and already gotten them curious with your remark. they both grabbed each of your arm, tugging on your sleeves where they begged nonstop for you tell them what had happened. they knew it was about the basketball team.
since you started to train and be with them, you’ve never complained. because if you did, coach jung would add another exercise for you, in which you knew you couldn’t handle. broken bones and sore muscles awaited for you. so you chose not to utter a single sigh, but you were careless just now and there was no escaping from these best friends of yours.
“c’mon y/n! tell us the deets! you sighing could only mean one thing.. did someone confess to you?” minnie closed her eyes and a wide smile suddenly became shrieks of laughter when you facepalmed. “oh who in the basketball team confessed?” she singsonged.
it’s not really a confession, jaehyun being a golden puppy is a secret that was never meant to be revealed but i happened to see him transform-
“what if it’s not a guy? maybe two? or three? oh gosh this is like a reverse harem anime-” lisa began to hype an awful assumption but you covered her lips. and plus? her voice was loud and how embarrassing it would be when the rest of the class heard it.
you were already restless at their energy. “none you idiots. i was sighing because i didn’t know that people with dimples would be that attractive.” you tried to divert the topic.
“pfft you’re talking about jung jaehyun?” lisa raised her brows and grinned teasingly to get a reaction from you.
“no, i’m taking about coach jung.” you hit her arm.
“but jaehyun’s his carbon copy, so you’re basically saying he’s handsome too.” minnie quickly rebutted.
“i mean, coach’s the original face so he’s definitely more handsome-” you paused. shoot they nearly got you to a corner. “wait- why are we talking about this? i thought we’re talking about me.”
“ah you were paying attention to our conversation?” minnie’s eyes grew.
“you’re not telling us anything dimwit.” lisa hit you back.
couple of squeals echoed the corridor and your classroom door crowded with people. apparently jaehyun stood by the door frame and scanned the room looking for you. when he spotted you, his face bubbled up and literally glided his way to your seat. you could tell he was slightly fuming, but you didn’t know what reason. “y/f/n! come here for a second!” he grabbed your wrists and pulled you up from your chair.
you tried to catch up with his pace as he continued to pull you. “let me go!”
jaehyun did in fact let go of you, but he instead led you to hit your back against numerous lockers. the squeals didn’t stop there and how that you were the centre of attention amongst all of the students, you had endure this for a little while. he was staring into your soul, eyes piercing that could strain yours, you knew he was pissed about something.
he slammed his forearms at the space right above your head, then the screams of giddy began to grow louder. you managed to see your friends at the far end of the corridor. they were smiling and lisa mouthed ‘kabedon’, making you flustered than you already were. “what do you want?” you asked.
“i thought i made myself clear?” jaehyun smirked as he felt you quiver against his skin. he leaned lower that his whispers tickled your ear. “did you tell anyone? your friends?”
“i’m not gonna risk my health for some dumb secret.” you rolled your eyes and crossed arms.
“please it’s not like our training puts your life on jeopardy-” jaehyun butted back.
“it’s safe with me. if there’s anything you’re worried about, just look at your fanbase. you’re making them sad.” you sighed, walking away and through the girls who has been following jaehyun around.
jaehyun exhaled at a rather slow pace. he liked your reaction and was aware of their presence. and in order to shoo them away, he had to do what he did. he just hoped you’d notice that too. “see you after school!” he yelled.
you briefly stopped in your tracks at his greet, you continued walking and pulled your girls away from the scene. you didn’t pay any attention, but you knew they couldn’t contain their smiles appearing on their faces.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
the bags full of foldable cones fell to the floor. the rest of the team turned to your direction, who already made mistakes on the first day of camp. they knew that you were obviously flabbergasted with your encounter. it was funny that you managed to stride your way so quickly towards jungwoo— he was very much entertained with your expression. “i know right? that was me earlier.” he stroked the large pup.
“h-how did puppy grow so big? that’s an adult sized dog! you stuttered but hiding your love for golden retrievers just wasn’t possible. there were times you forgot that this was actually jaehyun. “it’s only been a week.”
“yeah i’d like to know the reason too.”
suddenly you heard jaehyun’s voice. it felt like he was close to your ears again, but he wasn’t anywhere near you.
remains of memories probably were still in you head. you wouldn’t say you were traumatised, just surprised. why the hell am i hearing his voice? you shook the thought off at first but then again-
oi y/n. beside you. i’m talking to you!
what?
you gasped and fell on your butt. the pup’s ears were on alert and you knew he was hearing you too. “you can hear me?” jaehyun’s dog form practically towered on your fallen self. you avoided his look although the pup was so cute. his paws poked your shoulders, whiskers twitching as he waited for your response. “don’t look away! you can hear me right??”
all the guys could see was jaehyun staring down at you. and while you did the same, your knitted brows only meant something was definitely going on. they wanted to know. “what’s wrong y/n?”
your lips shook in heavens knows it was fear. “you’re asking me what’s wrong? why can i hear jaehyun? can you hear jaehyun? oh my g- this is really really weird-”
“you can?” they scooted closer to you, very much intrigued with your gift.
“and you all can’t?” you pushed jaehyun away for his body was weighing you down. he whimpered and got up to sit in front of the boys too.
they shook their heads vigorously. “only sungchan and coach were able to hear him.” kun stated, typing on his cellphone to inform his family.
“y/n! let’s talk when i transform back!” jaehyun’s paws kept poking you again. you glared at him with a loud hiss. his ears were alert, he didn’t realise that he was clawing you already, and turned a few rounds before he was laying like a bagel-shaped position.
jaehyun thought it was pretty strange. never in his life were there any people who could actually converse with him telepathically. other than his family, you were the first and he was determined to find out why this impossibility was made possible. there was a spark of hope forming in his heart at this sudden revelation. the glow from the orange light then shone above your head, marking the end of sunrise.
you looked at jaehyun’s dog form, it was- correction, he was.. quiet, and was still staring at you as if you were his master. he laid on this front legs, snout on the ground. huh, he can actually be behaved. footsteps were closing in. at the distance, coach jung walked with lisa and minnie, who were in their cheerleading uniforms. right, you forgot that they were also included in the annual athletes camp.
for a moment you panicked because you knew jaehyun would transform back from being a dog. ten and rest knew more people shouldn’t know about jaehyun’s curse. they were glad you read the atmosphere too. seeing jaehyun’s jersey in his duffel bag, you grabbed it and wore it on the animal.
coach jung made eye contact to your direction. he diverted the girls’ attention, and led them away from the basketball court. they headed towards the storage to “retrieve” some equipment.
jaehyun grunted and growled, his fangs tried to bite your skin. however, goldens were known for having a soft jaw, so his bites weren’t that painful. when you finally managed to put the jersey on him, jungwoo couldn’t catch up. “why let him wear the jersey?” he questioned.
“so he wouldn’t transform back naked when lisa and minnie arrives.” you pointed out the obvious.
ten held his laugh in. you recognised this tone, and prepared what came after. “heh..” he trailed off. “is it because you want to keep jaehyun to yourself?”
you continuously threw random items at him as heat spread to your cheeks. “screw you!” you scoffed. “get jaehyun to wear his pants. i have to pack a lot of things before we head onto the bus.”
“yes ma’am.” ten nudged your shoulder. “i’m kidding y/n. don’t take my jokes seriously.“
“it’s fine.” you picked up the fallen cones. “you’re worried about people knowing his curse. so i’m just doing my part to keep it secret.”
he pursed his lips and his heart softened at your willingness to help. “hm, i guess i can trust you after all.” ten opened the bag to help you pack. “oh! and also, jae in his dog form already is naked anyway.”
“you think i’m not aware of that?” you rolled your eyes.
your friends already have settled themselves inside the coach bus and you were seated in between them. now they would get to witness you with the team and hoped for a budding romance with any of the boys. you lowered your face under a cap to pretend you were sleeping, but in reality you just wanted to avoid lisa and minnie’s bombardment.
few rows at front, jaehyun stared by the window, deep in thought. rarely spoke a word since they started their journey to the retreat campsite. why was his hunch telling him to get closer to you? why could you hear him and he could hear you? he slightly turned to his side between the gaps of two seats. seeing you giggling with your friends had him rethinking if what happened earlier was just his imagination. he wondered why you purposely ignore him after he transformed back.
he slid lower from his seat. “i’d understand if this was a soulmate thing, but it’s not.” jaehyun sighed heavily where he broke the silence and supposedly ending the conversation earlier. now that he wanted to talk about it, his friends were still up for the news.
“oh yeah. those things are going on. except it only happens to some people.” kun popped a chip in his mouth.
“i just don’t get it. dad told me that never occurred to anyone with this curse.” he stole the bag of chips from the younger one to relieve his emotions.
jungwoo’s pursed his lip in wonder. “maybe the curse in another light has its own blessing? maybe you guys are soulmates?”
“nah, impossible.” they all said simultaneously.
“it’s a possibility-” jungwoo’s face soured where wrinkles appeared on the sides as the boys flared at him.
jaehyun shrugged not knowing what to say. his friends have bizarre ideas throughout the journey, and he wouldn’t say they were wrong either. all he could do was to wait until the next transformation. maybe you would say your thoughts about it through telepathy.
he would know if time passed quickly when he didn’t pay attention to anyone. one of them was the number of times you waved in front of his face to snap him back to earth. “jaehyun?” you laid on the ground and called out, panting to catch air after your successful reps. you tugged the ends of his track pants.
“hm?” he hummed, looking for your voice until he got annoyed with your repetitive pulls of his clothes. “ah stop that. i have to report your record to coach. come with?”
“do i really have to?” you whined. “i could barely stand, my legs are wobbly and i’m hungry.”
jaehyun rolled his eyes and took your hand, pulling you up on your toes. “then let’s grab something to eat on our way to the camp, hm?”
you gulped at the sudden gesture, even more so when you noticed your heart beating faster around him. somehow your sixth sense told you your friends were somewhere in the woods looking at you, and you were right.
minnie had her binoculars by her eyes as you and jaehyun headed in another direction back to everyone else were. she held in her excitement with a huge inhale. out of curiosity lisa stole the binoculars from her. a growing smile showed her pearly whites when within its frame, jaehyun was pushing you from the back before he took your hand again because of how slow you were. “min, consider your reverse harem dream for y/n over. we found her leading man.”
—
“few more reps y/n! do it properly this time?”
jaehyun rubbed his face, raising his tone in question of your athleticism. it was the second and final day of your assessments. your core should be able to get used to the pressure if you’ve done the reps for two straight days. so as of today you salute to all people who persevered and with great stamina. you just.. weren’t that person.
you’ve grown conscious now that jaehyun’s friends were watching a few metres away. you’d prefer kun counting and timing your exercises over him. in contrast, kun’s a little more understanding than the hotheaded jaehyun. “if i say i can’t, shouldn’t you consider stopping here? it’s the last one anyway so put random number on the blank or something.” you struggled to lift yourself up from the ground, arms in an ‘x’ position over your torso.
“is that so? then you wouldn’t mind if i write ‘0’ for the final count?” jaehyun checked the stopwatch while his knees put enough weight on your feet. “at least do five more?” he sat on the soles of his shoes.
“ugh! fine!” you tsked and did sit ups slowly, eyes shut closed.
jaehyun smirked with how determined you were in finishing. and he has gotta credit you for having the last brain cell to endure his overly playful bossiness and plans up his sleeves.
but even his friends has something up in their sleeves. they whispered to each other and nodded heads as excitement already boosted their anticipation. ten cupped his mouth then giving the raised brows as signal to start. “y/n! jaehyun’s recording your expression with his phone!” ten yelled.
jungwoo’s mouth widened and followed along. “jae! there’s a bee behind you!”
“what?!”
“where?!”
the moment you froze and opened your eyes after bringing yourself up, and jaehyun leaned forwards to avoid the insect, was way too hilarious for the guys to see. both of your faces were centimetres away from each other and jaehyun’s ears already tinted pink. jaehyun already found it awkward to help you for three days, but he never prepared himself for something like this.
as his friends bursting out laughing, that was when he realised it was all their plan. you were still too close to him, so he cleared his throat to cut the gap between. “is that a pimple on your nose?” he asked, only for his nose to be smacked and soon be numbed. “agh!”
what the- “jerk! don’t point it out!” you kicked him and rolled sideways to stand up, angrily leaving the area with the sheet in your hands. “i’ll give this to the coach!”
jaehyun held his nose and walked back to the guys, who were still laughing their butts off and rolling on the ground. “you can stop now.”
“oh that was funny! it was like a typical ‘ba-dump’ scene in a rom-com!” jungwoo wiped a tear.
“should’ve recorded it!” kun threw his head back while his hand rested on his heaving chest.
“no worries! at least it’s recorded in jaehyun’s mind!” ten cheered with closed fists.
“it’s embarrassing!” jaehyun threw his towel.
bonfires were mandatory at the start and end of the camp. however, because of your assessment, coach jung had negotiate with the other members of the basketball to get to the campsite a day before the other teams actually arrived at night. so for the kun and the rest, they had a little more free time than jaehyun. and him being the coach’s son.. he didn’t have the same benefits. he was stuck with you because he had to keep an eye on you while
he thought being with you would only be for the first two days, then he would go for his training. and yet here you were, sitting beside him in front of the bonfire while everyone else arrived and other danced to their hearts’ content. maybe he could ask you about the telepathy thing? but figuring you were cranky from earlier, he held back.
“can i ask more about your curse? if it’s okay with you to tell me.”
jaehyun nodded, you had the right to. not because you accidentally picked a random puppy then saw him naked few moments later. you could hear him in your head, and that was enough reason to tell you rather than a general information about it. “yeah. i’m okay with it.”
“you said your ancestors had the curse too. was there any specific reason why they had to suffer that your family and you had to be the..” you paused for a while. jaehyun was waiting for your next words, you guessed it was alright to say it. “..collateral damage?”
“right. i didn’t tell you more of it yeah?” he sniffed from the chilly night. “i don’t know how far back in the years it happened. but they said the head of the family casted out his wife because he assumed he cheated on him. he was the only person the wife ever treasured, so when she was accused, she took his pet and killed it. the head found out, he cursed her that her descendants turn into animals. and we’re the descendants of that woman.”
“that’s awful.” you cleared your throat. “i’m sorry you have to suffer the curse.”
“you don’t have to be. i’m just trying to cope with it.” jaehyun chuckled. “how awesome would it be if there was a way to reverse everything.”
“gotta find the blessing then.” you laid on the grass.
jaehyun’s face wrinkled in disgust. “okay you sound like jungwoo.”
“at least appreciate me for trying to lift your spirits up.”
he hummed in agreement.
“or you can just.. let the blessing find you.” you singsonged as you realised how corny you actually sounded.
“fine, and if it’s you?” he had to give a hint of the telepathic communication.
“because i can hear you when you’re in your retriever form? i’m not exactly a blessing but yeah i’d like to know how telapthy works too.” you stared back at the bonfire, flames flickering as the smoke flew in the air. as of tonight, you wanted to be that person who’d be the igniter of that hope he held on. “if i could help out a little, i’ll be happy to help.”
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
lisa and minnie stared at you, both had their palms under their chins as if their silence asked you to talk. “i can’t eat when the two of you are like this. it’s very disturbing.” you gripped on your fork, hesitant to eat as you took glances between the food and them.
you knew what they were going to ask. not like you didn’t want to share, it was just that you knew them well enough that they wouldn’t stop once they start. the food was getting cold every second passed, due to the wind outdoors, it was more vulnerable. lisa stretched her elbows while holding her poms to be noticed. five days have gone by and even though you were rarely with them in all those days, she had to ensure you’d tell them about the basketball team and your leading man— although you had no idea about that.
“any updates?” she raised her brows.
“nothing is happening with me or anyone in the team, if that’s what you both wanted to know.” you sighed. “i’m just simply taking down minutes.” you said sternly, kind of regret that you answered her and swirled the noodles with your fork.
“are you sure? twelve members should be enough for that.” minnie tied her shoelaces and bent down with a pressed smile when you pout. she softened her gaze when you were telling the truth and that their teasing should stop there. but they knew that the team should know something about you.
“they’re divided into teams. some did the score board while others practiced on their own. of course i have to be the one- why are you pulling my arm?” you asked and eyed them as if they stained your clothes.
lisa twirled on her toes and posed with her arm rested on her waist. “you’re being quiet again.”
“i’m not?” you said monotonously while you munched on your food.
she sighed and grabbed your chin. “you don’t look at me when you’re lying.” she hummed, yet you didn’t respond. “what’s up y/n? something’s on your mind i can tell.”
in fact a lot of things were.
so far in the week, you’ve helped jaehyun theorise solutions to end his curse after practice. not only for him, but his family and extended family too. some have passed not having to enjoy their lives, while others chose to hide themselves from the world. and a small percentage of the family tree actually tried to live through it— that was jaehyun’s family. coach jung was as determined as jaehyun to put a stop into this curse.
not only that thought alone. to you, jaehyun has been rather noticeable. even if you weren’t thinking of him, he’d appear out of nowhere— during your breaks, on your night-walks alone or even heading to the toilet. you’d always bump into him and his presence seemed to be marked in your consciousness now. not that you liked him around, it was just captain was more friendly than others made him out to be. “really, it’s nothing.”
to say that jaehyun didn’t feel same was definitely an understatement. since the start of the freshman year, he knew you were the loud girl with the two hot cheerleaders, but always wondered why you’ve never joined the team. sometimes he would catch you sitting at one corner, dancing along with the routines aside from cheering your friends on as he was heading to practice.
now he took a peek of you eating alone while lisa and minnie showed off their new uniforms. he was about to call you out to help the team, but the girls pulling you almost immediately once you were done had him holding back. “chaeyeon will be arriving soon, and remember the dare was to wear our uniform.” minnie giggled while you begged her to stop, to the point you nearly cried thinking about it. “you agreed to it-”
“i didn’t agree to it! you agreed for me! i had no say!”
jaehyun’s eyes widened at the thought of you in uniform. your yells were getting louder and pitchier. should he be your knight and shining armour? probably not. he’d like to have something to tease you about. for a moment there was silence, he hid behind the corner of a storage building. you were still telling your friends to stop doing what they were doing. but it was two against one, and he knew you were at the losing end.
the door slammed open, your huffs and puffs getting heavier and closer to where he was. jaehyun’s heart beat so fast that when he finally decided to call out your name, you bumped into him and he caught you to prevent you from falling. “i was about to fetch you, manager.”
you felt heat spread your entire cheek because of the attire you were forced to wear. “well you did and i’m here. can we go? my friends are giving me the stares.”
“fiesty, but i think you look alright.” he chuckled when you grumpily walked ahead. jaehyun followed you from behind with his hands in pockets.
what does he mean by that?
lisa and minnie pursed their lips, soon bursting into giddy squeals and continuously fanning each other from what they saw yet the second time. “he was really checking her out.” minnie laughed.
“his ears said it all.” lisa checked her watch on her wrist. “basketball team’s practice match is starting soon. wanna sit in?”
“girl you bet i will.”
even hours later you blew your baby fringes blocking your view. as you flipped the score board and whistles for a time-out echoed the outdoor gym, your friends could tell how uncomfortable you were but they’d do nothing to get more reactions from you. they liked that you entertained them. and what choice did you have? chaeyeon was already taking pictures of you in the uniform you despised wearing.
coach jung briefed the team information on their opponents this season. you wrote down important points, feeling the chill of the early sunset. you couldn’t wait to change into actual soft and comfy clothes, mosquitoes weren’t your friends.
jaehyun listened to his dad repeating the same points- mostly because he got the advice first before others. he heard you hiss several times, you were supposed to jot the notes down. then it got frequent. he tiptoed to see you opposite from him, shooing the bugs away. of course you were still wearing the cheer uniform. he didn’t want to draw attention, so he stealthy walked behind the guys and straight to you.
“trouble?” he asked.
“just a little chilly, that’s all. meeting’s nearly done yeah?” you hugged the file to your chest.
“say so if you’re cold.” he took his jacket off and draped it on your shoulder.
“and who am i to tell to?” your voice challenging him.
he hummed so low that it almost lulled you to sleep. “me. i’m not the captain for nothing.”
you were both busy talking that you and him weren’t aware of time nor anyone else close by. mind you that minnie and lisa were watching the whole thing. you managed to smile even if you were crossed with how you were dressed. like you enjoyed his company.
they couldn’t hear your conversation, nor were your lips were moving. but the body language they saw already proved and confirmed their assumption. they had to tell you. they went straight to you once the meeting was over, and pulled you aside whilst jaehyun was talking about his childhood.
jaehyun raised a brow and chuckled as you were being pulled away. his friends immediately surround him, bombarding him with questions that he wasn’t paying attention to the meeting. “dude, your time’s near.” ten smacked him on the back.
“don’t make it sound like i’m dying, ten.” jaehyun rolled his eyes, but whenever he did, they were always fixated on you. he couldn’t shake off the feeling you were that something to solve the curse.
“be alert than be busted.” ten shrugged, head tilting to where you were. your friends were busy recording you and giggles filled the air. “how are you so calm now jae?”
jaehyun pursed his lips. “with her, there’s no way i’m calm at all.”
“okay now i can’t tell if that answer was from human jaehyun or doggy jaehyun.” jungwoo pointed out.
his friends all looked at each other, jaehyun wasn’t his usual self. it was as if he was dazed but was able to converse with them properly. slowly his naturally peach-like fuzzy cheeks grew more fur, his tail started to reveal. although they were quick enough to hide jaehyun, they didn’t realise the commotion that came afterwards and drew everyone’s attention.
you swifted your head at the boys’ yells and gathering circle, faintly hearing jaehyun’s refusal into whatever they got him into. “stop it! hey!” he hissed.
jungwoo, a little too excited of the drama going on, spotted you looking at them and gestured you to come over too. your friends built up a curiosity and went ahead of you. as for you, you were mentally tired to think of anything.
not until you heard kun’s wavering yet convincing words. “uh.. y’all wanna see magic?” he chuckled nervously as he knew what jaehyun would do to him after all this was over. “quickly because it’ll happen soon!”
you held in a laugh at jaehyun when he was forced to sit down on the grass to hide his tail. “i’ve been trying to master this for months and i thank jaehyun as my participant. who loves animals? give me a name.”
most hands were up and the answers were said at the same time. some didn’t believe him, but others have seen kun’s little magic tricks over the days. so something of a huge scale like this already got them curious than ever.
“ah i hear great ones but i’ll choose dog. now i’ll turn jaehyun into a golden retriever.” he draped a blanket above his friend.
ten and jungwoo bit their lips to contain themselves, holding onto each other as they filmed this once-in-a-lifetime event. the circle enlarged in scale with the poor lad at the center and the golden hour shone over everyone.
“in 3.. 2.. 1..” kun only snapped his fingers then the blanket shrunk in size. your schoolmates were convinced that something was actually happening.
and it was amusing because you were able to hear jaehyun swearing so much in your head.
you let out a giggle. jaehyun was soon surrounded by everyone who wanted to pet him. even your friends went over to the animal. “at least pretend to be happy for them. goldens are known for being clowns.” you told him.
*sighs* “tell kun i’m gonna kill him.”
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
the silence was all jaehyun ever wanted after the shock he had to go through from kun’s improv few days ago. he’d be thankful for a moment because he actually forgot the gideon hour at the time, but he would soon later be clouded with annoyance that he should’ve been informed beforehand of his actions— not only kun, the others included. they’ve got a part in this too.
his friends seated side by side with bruises and bandages on their faces, jaehyun still giving them the silent treatment. he was cranky about that, yet even more so when there was no progress into finding a solution to his curse. “jae. we said we’re sorry.” jungwoo apologised and felt that he was the only one giving effort to talk to jaehyun compared to kun and ten.
“and i said it’s fine. so stop saying that before i actually don’t forgive you.” jaehyun pressed the bridge of his nose.
after walking up the slope to the cabin with heaves of breaths, you managed to hear their conversation before opening the door. “i refilled your bottles.” you threw them on a duffle bag, not caring whether either of them rolled away. “i have to apologise too, jaehyun. i haven’t come up with anything to help you.” true enough because you couldn’t think straight or have the energy to use your remaining brain cells for that matter.
“ugh it’s fine. i’m not in a rush or anything. not even assigning you to solve within the duration of the camp.” jaehyun squeezed the bottle as thirst continued to drive him crazy, the heat as well, so he removed his tshirt. you averted your gaze and looked elsewhere. maybe you were still a little bothered seeing him half naked after the incident?
ten sought the opportunity and decided to fan the flame even more. “why look away when you’ve seen him already?”
he managed to dodge your hits and you turned around embarrassed. jaehyun could see you fanning yourself from the heat. “it was an accident!” you cleared your throat.
“gah i’m tired. we’re done with practice. we get a day off tomorrow, so can’t we watch a movie? who has disney plus?” jungwoo wiped himself with a towel.
“i do.” kun brought out his ipad. “what do you wanna watch?”
“i haven’t watched that one.”
“beauty and the beast?”
“o-kay, i’ll be going now.” you yawned as you began to feel the exhaustion take over your body. “see you tomorrow.”
the door closed and suddenly you remembered a funny memory last halloween when taeil dressed himself as belle. he blended in with the other ladies that you didn’t realise it was him. either it was the wig’s work or just taeil in general. you found it funny when a bunch of young teens become children again as disney’s mentioned.
your phone vibrated with your friends asking to help them out with their practice. “i came to the camp for the basketball team, not you two.” you left a voice mail. all you wanted was to rest up today. not until a certain realisation hit you hard.
because what if?
it hasn’t been that long since you left the cabin when the boys jolted from their positions. their peace and concentration on the movie already ruined by you. “oh my goodness i think i got it?” you slammed the door.
jaehyun sat up and set his phone aside. “you’re saying it a question rather than a discovery. not convinced.”
“will you be when i tell you if it’s based on that movie?” you pointed at the tablet.
he trailed his eyes to the screen then back at you, a more confused expression on his face. “you expect me to find someone to love me so my curse will be lifted?”
“pfft nah kidding, you don’t seem that loveable anyway.” you stole a lollipop from ten. “okay bye for reals.”
as the door closed, ten unwrapped another lollipop. “bet you he’s thinking of his potential ‘belle’.” ten nudged the boys.
“shut up. i’m not going to base my life on a fictional movie.”
“but it could be y/n. i mean she can hear you.” jungwoo paused the film.
“it’s not going to be her and it doesn’t prove anything.”
jaehyun thought a lot for two things— you keeping his hopes up, the other was you setting his heart in a frenzy and he always hated that feeling. he groaned and dragged himself to bed to place a towel over his face. sure he’ll hold on to that idea you came up with for now. however it didn’t prove on telepathy.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
your heart missed a beat when jaehyun waited for you in front of the cabin you stayed at. he thought you bumping into his torso wasn’t a good way to greet in the morning, whereas you feeling some fur on his tshirt as greeting was any different. jaehyun handed you a file and a little note from coach.
while you read it, you could sense jaehyun was staring, like he had something to say. he retracted his lips when your friends appeared behind you with grins annoyingly appearing on their faces. “make it quick captain. we have things to discuss with y/n.”
“yeah sure. i just dropped by to pass this to you. coach said to make copies. i’ll come back after you’re done with breakfast.” he cleared his throat and announced his leave.
“hm. fishy. he could’ve just left it here outside but he seems like he waited for you.” lisa drank from her cup as you all sat and ate breakfast together.
“right? it’s been days he acted that way!” minnie walked back to the table. “he’s indeed a gentleman, but there are times he’s very hard to approach.”
you unwrapped the sandwich and took a bite. “anyway, what is it you guys wanna talk about?”
“lisa will go first. she couldn’t wait.” minnie giggled.
lisa laid out series of pictures of nature she recently took and were indeed beautiful. “oh my goodness they look amazing!” you sat up. “as expected from someone in the photography club. i bet if you submit these to johnny he’ll regret putting you as backup-”
“really?! i took advantage of the retreat and i made sure they were pretty!” lisa interrupted you and placed more pictures down. “these are my favourite! i’m thinking of sending these to johnny instead!”
however your face turned sullen at the next pictures. they were blurry and almost gone, but it was definitely jaehyun at the background, each one showed he was transforming from human to dog. you paused and your heart did the same.
the silence got longer, you knew you had to speak up, but no words came out. “what’s wrong y/n?”
“you can’t submit these to johnny.” you brushed the first batch of pictures aside and bind latest pictures together.
“why not? you supported the rest of them! how could these be not good enough?” lisa’s voice changed in an instant, like you’ve taken away her pride. she sat back with folded arms, her behaviour scared you a little.
minnie slightly wiggled your hand. “hey, are you hearing to yourself y/n?”
“sorry, i know i sound stupid-”
“you are!” lisa huffed where her cheeks blew up. it was cute though.
“but you have to hear me out.” one thing was for sure, your stress levels shot up high if word gets to jaehyun. you had to prepare for the consequences.
“okay, so why can’t i submit them?” lisa sighed.
you held her hand. “it would be alright to, only if these are not in the background.” you said, pointing out a figure at the background of the subject. it all became clear as day to them when they looked closely. “did jaehyun just.. transformed?”
you were surprised with how quick they were able to catch on. as much as you wanted to protect jaehyun’s family curse, things would’ve turn for worst if someone else had noticed it. i’m sorry jaehyun, this is for your own good.
“we believed kun’s ability of illusion and his magic tricks. ten sent us a video of it and it didn’t really occurred to us that the golden was actually jaehyun.” minnie pursed her lips. “if you think about it, he does look like a golden.”
“how is this possible?” lisa asked with a growing smile, but refrained since transforming twice everyday was nothing good anyway.
“i found about his family curse accidentally. he turns into a dog when it’s golden hour, like sunrise and sunset.” you propped on your elbows.
“it’s a curse? poor lad.” minnie gasped.
a rather sad nod caught them off guard. “the coach signed me up to join this retreat. it’s not only for my missed p.e assessments but it was to keep his curse a secret. a-and now that you know, i’ll be damned if word gets to him. so you have to promise me you both don’t say or do anything..“ you sounded as if you begged. that was how much your the friendship you have with jaehyun meant to you.
“and yeah, that’s my answer. the magic trick was just a cover up to hide jaehyun’s dog form.” they listened and were surprised to hear you like this.
your fidgety hands and nervous breathing was too obvious. if jaehyun was just a friend, you wouldn’t act as if he was your- “oh no.” you slumped down on your arms. “why did i..” you mumbled as your feelings for him became clearer to you.
“oh my gosh. you like him! you like jaehyun!” lisa covered her mouth and changed the lingering negative atmosphere.
ba-dump. i..
“then that means your love for golden retrievers doubled!” minnie hugged you.
“no! it’s b-because you’re putting m-me in the spotlight-” you stuttered when they leaned towards you. “i’m gonna go.”
jaehyun flinched even though he was at a distance. your friends were yelling quite excitingly. you were being chased by them and although it was inaudible. he answered his phone as it was ringing for a while. “what, ten?”
“don’t ‘what’ me!” jaehyun tilted his head from his friend’s volume. “jae where are you?”
“i’m at y/n’s cabin and on my way bac-”
“nevermind that. i can see you.”
ten rushed towards him and looked at the cabin. “where’s lisa?” he squinted his eyes.
“just her and minnie chasing y/n out. i don’t know how but they left the door open. what are you doing here anyway?”
he mimicked a photographer’s gesture and pointed at the cabin. “lisa told me her pictures have developed and i’m here to get them.”
jaehyun flicked his forehead. “and you could’ve asked me instead.”
“they’re confidential and i’m shy if anyone sees it.” ten walked to the cabin.
“gross. just get them and head back quickly.”
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
you lost track of the days that have passed and there was an unsettling feeling that stayed in your chest. had it been two or three? you couldn’t remember. the basketball team’s practice matches and drills were normal. but there was a difference in air lingering around jaehyun. he still talked to you, kept the same gentle smile and was caring as usual. except whenever he did those, it seemed like he was distancing himself from you, creating an imaginary wall just to let you know your limits and boundaries.
you’d like to think it was because of the pressure coach has been giving him since the play-offs were close to date. but, it wasn’t all jaehyun who behaved that way. ten also distanced himself, his gaze pierced against your skull and thinking about it only caused you to have migraines. you were more scared of ten.
coach jung have asked you to help the cheerleading team, saying you’ve helped them enough. the amount of appreciation he had for you was too much, you couldn’t ask him about how jaehyun recently. yet this was all too sudden that your gut feeling told you otherwise. you planned to talk to jaehyun after the day ends. because in all honesty, something definitely happened.
and the boys left you out of it.
approaching jaehyun was harder than you thought. now you’ve realised it, he was always the one who took the initiative and you on the receiving end took the benefits of his kindness. it was supposed to be the other way around, so why were you taking advantage of this?
if having feelings for him was the reason for that, then you’re really stupid y/n. you laid on the grass in defeat from your thoughts and closed your eyes. you decided to have some peace and nature was your best friend in time like these. chirping birds and crashing riverbanks-
“jaehyun where are you?!”
ah crap. you twitched hard enough that swarms of goosebumps appeared on the majority of your skin. on your stomach, you hid behind the bushes to see jungwoo and the others struggling to find him. even at the mention of his name you were already feeling shy and flustered.
“is he skipping practice again?”
“ah whatever let’s just leave him.”
“i understand why he’s like that.”
“even i would feel hurt if i were him.”
a heavy and deep audible breath from their sudden entry was difficult to hide your response. you tried to leave as quiet as possible. not wanting to get caught, you had to move stealthily with few glides backwards on your knees, eyes glued to the boys’ actions if they looked elsewhere. when you felt something blocking the soles of your shoes, somehow you knew what it was.
“you’re blocking my way.” jaehyun’s irritated tone made your chest ache— in the most painful impact you never expected from him.
quickly you stood up and made sure you stayed out of sight from the boys. jaehyun scratched his temple at your awkward behaviour. he was already in front of you, why were you hesitating to ask him questions he left unanswered? jaehyun pulled a long face when you still remained silent. “if you’re not gonna speak when you clearly have something to say, do i really have to say it for you?”
what the hell is his problem? what’s with his tone? “yeah as a matter of fact i do. the thing is, i don’t understand why you’re being like this. you ignore me but still talk to me when i don’t help with the team anymore, and for some reason you’re mad at me?” you grimaced while leaning on a tree trunk.
there was cynism in jaehyun’s nods and the swirls of his tongue evident on his cheeks. you hated his attitude and all you wanted was an explanation. “whatever this is, i’ve got no reason for you to doubt me, jaehyun.”
“ah, really? ‘cause you just gave me one.” he fished out something from his pockets and as you watched, the item he was holding was too familiar and they were obviously not his. he flicked the sheets and that was when you confirmed they were the new pictures lisa developed.
why were they with him? at the pit of your stomach, a whirlwind of emotions and stressing pressure began, and you didn’t like the feeling at all. “what-”
he threw the pictures on the floor. “other than my family and friends you’re the only one who knows about my curse! and at some point you go against my back telling them to picture me when i’m left clueless?!”
right now you were really afraid jaehyun’s mood would attract attention.
you closed your eyes as he raised his voice. “look i have no idea how you got those but i promise you i had nothing to do with the picture-” you insisted and could feel your blood pressure rising.
“how- how could you betray me like this?!”
your heart fell and instead of feeling bad about him knowing, you felt your head ache with so much anger building up inside you. because jaehyun didn’t bother to listen or let you explain yourself.
“i found you in the background before lisa actually showed those to johnny! it would spread if she did! where’s the betrayal in that?!”
he stepped closer to you, your entire was itching to run away. “i don’t care! you still told your friends! you could’ve said another excuse like kun’s practicing his magic trick or something! you promised me my secret’s safe with you!”
that’s messed up. i did tell lisa and minnie but not because it was to mock him!
“kun was no where to be seen in the picture! what else can i do? lie to them? i know my friends more than you do and they won’t tell anyone!” you raised your voice as well.
jaehyun scoffed, rolling his eyes. “i don’t trust them!”
“well, i do! and you should trust me!” your tone wavering at all emotions hitting you at once. especially coming from him— the guy you developed feelings for.
“the moment you told them you broke my trust already! what else did you tell them, hm? my dad and brother having the curse too?” he brushed his hair in anger when your silence meant yes. “ugh is this really happening?! you told them everything!”
“okay that’s enough-” your vision blurring from the tears wanting to fall.
“i’m asking what else did you tell them?! dammit y/n what could be so important to you than my secret?!”
“well- i-”
“i what?!”
other than the secret, you knew what went after the reveal. then you realised the weight of your words, you couldn’t tell him that you actually like him. you wanted to be selfish this once. “i can’t.. tell you.”
jaehyun started to harbour more resentment towards your reasoning. he found it ridiculous of you to even continue with this conversation. ten already warned him that the secret wasn’t safe with you in the first place. the glimpse of hope faded when he thought you’d be the key, even if you were, trust was still important to him. it was the very thing his mother lacked and you doing so reminded him of it.
his expression darkened and you were afraid of him— excluding of how cruel he was with you on the exercise reps. you were afraid you just broken a promise and put your friendship on a rocky end.
“so that’s it? i’m begging you with my life on the line and you just gave me the most bullcrap answer!”
“you’re being unreasonable!” you yelled.
“shut up! you found about my curse so you should be the one compromising!”
“y/n!” lisa came running with a panicked face.
tsk, wrong timing. “not now.” you mouthed.
“have you seen my pictures?! i told ten to get them the other day but he got the wrong envelope! it’s the one with jae-” she bent down to catch her breath and was taken aback with jaehyun’s presence. “..hyun.”
the boys followed lisa and once they found their friend, you could tell ten’s stares that felt like daggers. he pulled jaehyun away but eyes still locked on you. “what happened?” lisa asked as you mirrored ten’s expression, but your friends could see the hurt in your eyes.
“he has the pictures. i think ten saw them and gave them to him. jaehyun’s mad, he thinks i betrayed him for telling you-”
“no that’s not it!” lisa held your hand and glared at the boys, especially ten, since he was her childhood friend. “you had every right to tell us because the pictures are my works-”
“shouldn’t have said anything further y/n! you should’ve gotten the pictures and told us instead of them! you promised, remember?” ten finally spoke up.
you rolled your eyes. “and what?! you’re like saying i should risk my friendship for his stupid secret!”
his friends turned heads to jaehyun to see his tight-knit brows and softening demeanour. jaehyun frowned and hurt was evident in his face. he was hurt by you, someone he developed feelings for in a short amount of time. “i believed it when you said you’ll help me. or were.. were all those just words to you?”
ah.. that came out wrong.
you bit your lips to say something, but they left so soon after, making your chest squeeze as if your lungs let out the last bits of oxygen from your body.
shortly over an hour, jungwoo watched his friend pace back and forth, nibbling on his nails when the tension grew in their cabin. “aren’t you too hard on her? you didn’t let y/n explain further-”
“i can’t believe her!” jaehyun crumpled the picture after looking at it. “how could she do this to me?!”
“honestly i just don’t think she’s that type of person to go behind someone’s back for her own entertainment.” kun spoke up and tilted his head, avoiding the cup that smashed on his side of his cheek. “perhaps you’re mistaken.”
jaehyun wasn’t in the right headspace whenever his past trauma was reminded or brought up, so no matter how much reason was given, he wouldn’t listen. “do i have to repeat it? she already had her fun when she told her friends to picture me!”
“your explanations are always so conclusive.” kun sighed.
“and your heart’s too soft as usual, kun! so back off!” jaehyun grabbed the older one’s shoulder and shoved him against the wall.
he released him soon after realising that he didn’t once listen to you, but he was too stubborn to take any more excuses. there was one thing he thought you were wrong— weren’t you risking your friendship with him by exposing his secret he kept so dearly? maybe distancing himself more than he did would clear his mind off from the mess.
—
when all sports teams lined up with their designated coach buses the days after, jaehyun slightly put his chin up to search for you in the crowd— in a subtle manner, since he still stood in his decision into having his space from you yet didn’t want it to be obvious to others that he cared for you still.
you knew he was staring from afar. it was a stupid misunderstanding, both of you were in the wrong, but he made you feel as if you carried the blame for this.
sure that was a given, that he would react worse than expected. you were going to take the pictures from lisa anyway, and the guys wouldn’t know that your friends knew. you didn’t expect you’d burst out of anger or that ten took them before you did and made the assumption. it still drove you mad, ten probably convinced jaehyun of your doing since he didn’t trust you at first.
that aside, you decided to ride the coach bus with the cheerleading team. “when we reach school, you can forget about the basketball team and camp. how dare they hurt you?” minnie hugged you as you stared out the window.
“if i had to weigh it, it’s not me who’s hurting. jaehyun is.” you sighed and pat her back. “how do i act if i bump to any of them? i’ll probably do something stupid again. at all cost, i’mma just- *sigh*”
“she’s talking about jaehyun right?”
“yeah she’s still not straightforward about him.”
“we know she likes him. she doesn’t have to hide it.”
“i can hear you both.” you lowered your hat to avoid their gaze.
jaehyun sat beside his father at the front for a change, playing with the blinds to cover sunlight. coach jung knew his silence more than anyone, even if jaehyun didn’t plan on telling him. “i’ve done what you told me to do. you didn’t want to see y/n after the fight. so? did it to any change?”
“no. i kept my distance and i’ll see if she’ll admit her mistake.” jaehyun adjusted the fan above him.
“jae, if only you saw her reaction when i told her to not come see the team. i know you’re smarter than this. you know it’s not all her fault.”
he clenched his palms hard. crescent moons soon showed themselves on the flesh. “where exactly in this is my fault, dad? have i not been patient to wait for curse to be broken? who said that y/n might have a contribution in this? it’s you, dad. i’m not holding any grudge against y/n. i’m just disappointed at her because she’s nothing i ever imagined her to be. goodness’ sake i even like her.” he mumbled at the last sentence, missing the point that his dad could hear it.
coach jung let out a short laugh at the remark. “not sure if you noticed, you haven’t seen y/n working hard at researching about our curse while you boys practiced. she’s always brainstorming at the possibilities, science or not, she’s always looking for ways. don’t let anger cloud you.” his father paused and had a pressed smile. “..don’t end up having small fights like me and your mother. you wouldn’t want it to be bigger than it already is.”
“yeah.. i know.”
you woke up with a thud and saw a rather prominent bump on your right temple through the reflection of the window. arriving at the campus grounds was quicker than you thought, despite being almost a half day journey. you overheard that the basketball team would stay there a little longer and you had to leave immediately because once everyone has gone home, you’d see him. you didn’t want to risk yourself from being spotted after you both fought.
it was a small matter now that you think about that day. stubbornness outweighed understanding in the two of you, and that resulted in immaturity. and if neither of you were willing to admit, might as well make the first move.
but you were stubborn as he was.
once the coach bus was nearing the parking area, the first and only thing you decide to do was get out of the vehicle and head straight home. you wouldn’t let your friends speak and looked at their bus. there sat jaehyun fiddling with the curtain. you then rushed out, covering your face from the basketball team as they too were getting off. “is that what she meant ‘at all costs’?” minnie facepalmed as she saw you walking away quickly.
“oh look, there’s y/n.” coach jung tapped the window to make jaehyun notice you. the way you behaved was weird for him, because it was too obvious you were avoiding getting seen.
“i don’t care.”
“it means you do.” his father messed his son’s hair. “okay, off you go. i’ll cancel the extra practice today and let all of you rest up during the weekend.”
jaehyun’s lips agape at his father’s last minute decision. he wore his cap and slung his bag. “if you’re doing this and expect i’d make up with her, you’ll regret ever cancelling practice.”
“ah c’mon. your old man is helping you out with a girl. can’t you tell what i’m doing, jae?” he laughed at his son’s reaction. he could see himself in jaehyun and knew things would get better.
“it won’t work dad.”
he rolled his eyes and went to where the bikes were parked. he kicked the stand at the rear wheel when his friends caught up to him with their own bikes. goodness why can’t they just leave me alone? “what do you want?” he stood a little to pedal ahead.
kun rode along beside him, eyes alternating at and on the road. “what now? you’re just going to pretend you didn’t see y/n? like nothing happened?”
“how can i ignore that when her figure’s so obvious and literally running away from here? i’m not going to do anything about-”
jungwoo then sighed heavily, causing jaehyun to knit brows. “she looked over our bus you dimwit! that means she thought of talking to you but held back because of-”
“i’ll talk to y/n in my own terms and in my own time! stop forcing me to do things when you think it would work well for me!” jaehyun pressed on the brakes with his palms.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
kun and jungwoo’s eyes followed your swirling fork and the silent air that had been going for half an hour. they thought knocking onto the doors of jaehyun’s closed heart was hard, never expected yours was harder. you wouldn’t say anything after they invited you, claiming they missed you around them.
because it had been two full semesters since then. from what the boys told you, jaehyun lost focus and couldn’t lead the team to the championships. he always fought with his father and would burst in anger, throwing unnecessary fits towards them even though they worked hard to reach the quarterfinals.
this behaviour would happen so often that it began to strain his relationships with everyone on the team. the transformation did a lot worse to his body, he’d get sick and weak, and for over months, he would not transform back immediately within the golden hour ended. it lasted longer. sometimes even the morning after.
it worried them that if jaehyun given up all hope and continued to act that way, the urge to find the solution would never take place. and that he would remain an animal forever. even so, you knew their intentions to invite you today despite feeling sad for jaehyun. and you prepared your answer before they could speak.
“y/n-”
“as much as i love to stay, i’m here to tell you you’ve wasted your efforts. if jaehyun won’t talk to me.. then i’ll just keep giving him space until he apologises first.” you were already losing appetite talking about it.
“and you think waiting game would pull off too, hm?” kun’s dimple deepened, a flat smile seen on the exterior.
you put down your fork. “i didn’t think we’ll last this long not talking-”
ten smirked in disbelief, you forgot he was there too. his presence was almost non-existent as he kept quiet the whole time. “keep it like that. you’re held accountable for making jaehyun the way he is now.”
“ten!” kun scowled at the guy. “i told you not to talk.”
you rolled your eyes that his words hurt more than the eye roll. “why is he here anyway? you said it’ll only be the two of you. unbelievable.”
“to see if you came up with a solution to lift jaehyun’s curse. looking at you now, i guess you didn’t.” he said and you tried your best to refrain yourself from hitting him. “were you mocking him when you suggested it might be the same answer as that disney film?”
“i said as a joke but it might be a possibility. we live in a world where people go through inexplainable experiences that science couldn’t dive in deep.” you sighed.
jungwoo tapped the table to stop the bickering you and ten were starting. “like my hunch says, maybe it’s another soulmate thing i’ve mentioned to you guys at the camp.”
“it’s not a soulmate thing, jungwoo.” kun and ten said simultaneously.
you brought out an a5 sized sealed envelope and the action alone made the boys stunned. “don’t open this. just give it to him. anyway, the sun’s setting. i really have to go.” you passed the item to kun.
it’s suffocating. i can’t stay here long. they saw how hesitating your limbs were, your eyes averting them and clearing your throat several times.
“ten, does this look like she didn’t do anything? this proves she’s trying.” kun took the envelope and hit it on ten’s head.
as you put on your coat whilst standing next to the table, ten sat back with arms crossed. “acting smart, aren’t you? you really think you’re the belle for jaehyun huh? i wouldn’t believe that for a second.”
“i didn’t say anything about me being the solution. i’m still keeping my promise to help him. and trust me, i don’t think i’m belle either.” you grabbed your bag and left, your food gone cold and jungwoo sighed at the air turning worse thanks to ten.
the cash money was placed on the table when kun called the waiter. “please keep the change.” he looked at your slouching figure by the bus stop across the restaurant. it screamed sadness and hurt all over.
the reason for suddenly leaving wasn’t because you were offended with what ten said. of course there was truth in his words. at some point you thought you were someone important to jaehyun, since you could hear him.
you thought you both were soulmates.
you left because you spotted a familiar figure standing by the door. haven’t been seeing him lately only made you feel angry at yourself. you were a coward, you even passed the envelope to the boys instead of giving it to jaehyun yourself. your friends already encouraged you about it, that that was the only thing to narrow the gap between you and jaehyun. it was to show that you were still supporting him.
why are you like this y/n? if you like him, you’d do anything to get his attention and forgiveness. why are you doing things to push him away, rather.. why are you forcing yourself to not care when you still do?
you continued to walk with your head low for another hour, troubled in your thoughts as they’ve been bothering you for many months. snap out of it y/n-
*tug*
*scratch*
the hems of your baggy jeans were pulled and torn with minimal, adorable force. it took you a while to process the animal before you. a blue bunny, what’s a bunny doing here- oh.
“sungchan?”
—
he rose from the bushes in front of their house. you stood there awkwardly while he figures to cover his body after the blue hour. “i’m sorry for asking you to bring me home. i get tired from hopping sometimes.” he grabbed a towel that he was hanging by the gate.
“no worries. i-i’ve seen- nevermind.” your voice softened at the latter.
sungchan pursed his lips to refrain himself from smiling since he was there and witnessed when it happened. “come in, i’ll make you some tea. it’s my way of thanks.”
although he was kinder than his brother, probably more mature, he was still young that you could see through his intentions. you knew he wanted some patching up done between you and jaehyun. you hesitated for a while, but since you were there already, might as well try to talk to him—
even if there was a slim chance of making things work.
you sat on the sofa, slightly still and awkward being in the residence. little sips, light breathing and the soft wind from the fan were only heard within the living area. “did my brother cause you a lot of trouble during the camp?” sungchan asked and knowing that you were silent, he knew jaehyun probably did. “how about now?”
“actually, i think i’m the one causing more trouble for him because i feel like i’m not doing anything to help when i said i would.” you sighed as he continued to listen.
“really? i heard from the others you’re helping so much that it changed my brother.. at the least he’s not cranky.” his nose twitched so adorably that you thought it was derived from being a bunny almost his whole life. “also, there’s that envelope-” he paused while realising how your expression caught him off guard.
maybe he shouldn’t have mentioned it, but he wanted you to know he wasn’t spying on you. he made that clear with his silence.
if he saw that back at the restaurant, that only meant he was there for quite some time. you let out a small smile that he was probably there not for you, but to wait for his brother’s friends. instead of bumping into them, he bumped into you.
“oh, that. it.. has a bunch of handwritten letters i’ve compiled when i struggled talking to jaehyun. i just felt that maybe it’s more sincere if i had to apologise.. y’know, eventually.”
he pursed his lips and nodded. “then why not put those words into actual words? like verbal words.” sungchan’s fingers pointed upwards, hinting that jaehyun was up in his room. “for all i know it’s the most sincere thing to do.”
crap, he’s not expressive but he’s so so mature for his age. it made you feel inferior for a moment.
“but before you do that, i have to tell you something that my dad and brother missed out about our curse. why jaehyun-hyung is more pressured than i am.”
(few minutes later)
you slid against the wall while sungchan went out to do grocery shopping. at the other side of the door, in between the thin gap, you could hear soft breathing; jaehyun was on his bed, sleeping in his dog form and it hurt you since time already passed both golden and blue hour, he should’ve transformed like his brother did. instead he laid there as if he didn’t have a care in the world.
meanwhile, jaehyun knew you entered his room. he pretended to be sleeping and expected he wouldn’t know how to act when he gets to face you. he decided to stay as he was.
until you pat then caressed his head.
he didn’t want to settle or give in for the fact you loved golden retrievers. he blamed on the shallow euphroria dogs easily feel. and because he was in his dog form, the anger he held for you disappeared. but at the same time, was your touch out of care or pity? he couldn’t figure it out. then he could hear the beats of your heart, and that made him sit up. your heart was fast. it was worrying. it was—
“why didn’t you tell me the whole story?” your voice wavered in heaving breaths as he finally looked you in the eye. his ears twitched and he faced the door, knowing that sungchan told everything.
jaehyun shook his body and whiskers moved before he telepathically answered you. “believe me i tried. i hate myself for being sensitive and i couldn’t bring to tell you because i got angry. but you have to know that i value trust more than anything.”
“you know what’s ironic?” you sighed, pressing your forehead as pain began to form. “you didn’t trust me first and and we fought because you didn’t do that. and you didn’t trust me enough that you only told me what, like 50 percent of it?”
of course he knew what you referred to.
he was going to tell you the day he visited your cottage at camp. but he didn’t get to, because ten told him news ahead of him that it ruined the purpose to talk to you. it wasn’t that he blamed him, it was due to the fact he wasn’t prepared for something like that. even for something like this.
because there was that prophecy weighing on his shoulders.
“sungchan said that it has to directly come from you, so you better tell me now before our friendship falls out.” you warned and leaned back against the headboard.
currently your friendship was on the line, wobbling on tight ropes. pushing you further away would do no good.
jaehyun sat and his paws were dignified into a comfortable position. his head laid on a cushion pillow, facing towards you. “fine. most of my family turns into wild animals, and they couldn’t control themselves in that other form. their wildlife instincts overpowers their thoughts.” he yawned.
“and it’s different for me and sungchan. when we were born, when we had our first full transformation, they were shocked to know we turn into domestic animals. we’re able to remember, think and live as if we’re still humans. at the end, it’s either of us to stop the curse.”
“so why did your brother mention that you’re the most pressured? why did it only have to be you?” this time you spoke, there was more depth into your feelings if you spoke. as sungchan said, verbally was more sincere. “you could share the burden with him.”
he sighed at the tone of your voice. “isn’t it obvious? the role is immediately passed onto me not because i’m the first born.. it’s because you suddenly could talk to me.. telepathically.”
“yeah and we couldn’t even figure that one out yet.” you scoffed remembering the times you’ve placed your efforts on that matter and now it had gone all to waste. all because you both had that fight.
he read through your eyes and sensed the intention from your words. plus he hated how you delivered it with that certain tone. “i didn’t bring this up just to blame you for my own satisfaction!” he groaned. “i brought it up so that i can apologise! i was wrong, okay?! i should’ve listened to you instead of carelessly listening to ten-”
you refrained yourself from showing any further hurt. recalling it would only make you cry. “well you were manipulated with ten’s assumptions. you believed him more than me. he had proof while i didn’t. i was in the losing end! not like i expected you to change your mind. so can we just.. get this overwith and tell me what the prophecy is?”
he was speechless for a while. you being straight-forward yet in a pained voice was too much for him. he was already softening his feelings for you and you had to tense it all up again. “‘only one could save those who lay under the curse, for they must be in the correct peace of mind and body to break it before it turns for worse.’”
“and the ‘worse’ means you won’t transform back anymore?” you asked, the prophecy already piercing your heart as you waited for more explanation.
“that and..” he trailed off. “..we lose our humanity too. we won’t remember anything. memories erased like a snap of the finger. and we’ll just be.. another animal.”
you pushed yourself to sit up as your heart clenched tight. “jaehyun! why say it now and not before?”
“because! what is there for you to do-”
you squished the dog’s into a wrinkly mess, to the point jaehyun couldn’t see anything. his paws tried to put your arms down, but even clawing was hard for him to do. then he felt you lean forward to hug him. “y/n? what’re you doing?” you didn’t answer.
crap, this is warm. it feels.. nice. embarrassed, he put his thoughts at the back of his mind. “are you doing this out of pity? do i look that helpless-”
what crossed his mind was that you thought he needed a hug and was the only thing you could do. but you proved him wrong, so, so wrong. and why didn’t he realise it sooner in his life?
“you have to treat yourself like someone you love!”
what?
“you have to fill yourself with it! have you been thinking half-heartedly or do things half-assed because you’re different from people? do you not realise there are people who loves you? you trust them so less that you’re not confident into breaking the curse! because you didn’t really try!”
he froze in his stance, like a bullet pierced through his chest with how true your point was. he didn’t know what love was when his mother left the family. he didn’t dare to open up with his dad and brother, not his friends as for so long he didn’t do that one important thing— trust.
jaehyun thought he did that. he had enough encouragement but only to the level of content. he didn’t expect more as what else was there for people cursed like his family? “why are you so worried or do this much for me?”
“because no one actually helped you!” your arms tightened around him. “your friends were occupied into thinking that protecting you and your curse from others was the safest thing to do. it’s not! it just gets you self-conscious, conceited and too comfortable to not to do anything at all!” everything you said knocked down the pillars of his pride. he wasn’t at all living in humility if his friends did ever help.
“y/n we’re nothing more than friends. how could you be pushing yourself onto my problems-”
“i’m one of the people, jaehyun. don’t you get it now? i l-”
as if the phone line got cut off, he couldn’t hear the rest. you appeared like a television who lost its voice, however, somehow he knew what came after that. he didn’t want to admit it, after spending time with you at camp, he realised his heart felt the same.
you were quick to catch on. the golden retriever just stared at you, you couldn’t hear him as well. not even telepathically. jaehyun laid back down, ignored you and went to sleep. you nudged him, he wouldn’t move. you felt a swarm of blame towards him. if only he told you earlier, he wouldn’t be in this state where he was just another dog. mostly you blamed yourself for not taking the initiative first to fix things. you went along with your anger and his waiting game.
where did it get you? to this.
the one second revelation he heard from you and then fell into slumber, he was standing in front of himself, before a mirror. a series of himself switching from human to animal throughout the years. the glass cracked over his face. as if he entered a new world, he had to prepare mentally for what was to come.
instead he awoke like he only passed out from exhaustion. to only see you hugging your legs, head down with soft sobs and hiccups, he reached out for you yet hesitated. he checked the time, the golden hour was to arrive.
“y/n.” he called out in a low voice.
“no.” you mumbled. “i shouldn’t be hearing him.”
“but you really are, though.”
you shot your head up, tears rolling down your cheeks when you felt his touch— his large palms holding yours. he transformed, you had many questions as you thought it was too late.
confused and tired, you stared at him blankly. processing the guy before you took a whole minute to realise jaehyun transformed back. “is.. is this a joke?” you coughed and rubbed your tears. “i saw you faint- i saw how you lost the light in your eyes- i saw-”
he’s blushing. his ears are red.
jaehyun pulled you into an embrace, he caressed your head as if he held a newborn. “the curse broke around the time i realised i lacked self-care. it was the same time you said it too.”
looking back, he didn’t treat himself right since the beginning. he realised he shouldn’t have looked for a solution or someone to love him. he was the someone he was looking for, and should’ve reflected on himself than to rely too much on others.
“you’re still hugging me.” you said, stopping his trail of thoughts. you pat his back quickly and he was holding you tight. “you’re squeezing the oxygen out of me.”
“can’t i hold you longer? you’ve been so helpful even when i pushed you away. now i don’t really want to let go.” jaehyun whispered. he never felt something like this before— this urge to love someone. “what if the curse comes back when you go away?”
you felt your head bursting with temperatures your body was experiencing now. “you really have to let go!” clearing your throat, you tried to shove him away.
“no. don’t be stubborn.”
“don’t be clingy, clingy!”
“you want me to hug you though.”
“i do but- wait no that’s not- i-”
he squeezed your face between his hands. “you love me, don’t you. and you said i’m not loveable.” he teased and goodness his dimples shot you at the heart. you kicked him in the chest yet he leaned forwards, closer than usual. “i can feel your veins beating crazily.”
ah for crying out loud! “jung jaehyun.” you called him with a stern and plain voice. “get off me.”
“tsk i said i wouldn’t-”
“jaehyun you’re naked.”
hm? he pulled himself away from you, looked down and covered his lower body. ah heavens- “i’m sorr-”
a thud was heard by the door. you both turned heads to sleepy sungchan dropping a parcel delivered to jaehyun while holding a toothbrush with his mouth and prominent bed hair. “uh bro, this is-”
“dad! i think hyung’s in his mating season!”
“i’m so not!”
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
because the curse was lifted and jaehyun made it happen, all those who fell under it soon experienced freedom and joy after years of agony and pain and fear. feelings opposite to them showered upon them that morning like spring rain.
you sat in between jaehyun and ten, who haven’t been talking to each since they fought over little things, mainly about you. ten still didn’t believe that you were jaehyun’s girlfriend, because he recalled you guys were not going to mend things.
“so that’s it? it’s so hard to believe. she just hugged you and the curse’s gone? even more so you’re both dating?”
“ten, c’mon dude.” kun brought out his fist to bump yours. “she’ll be hanging with us from now on. you have to stop being a stuck-up.”
ten shrugged in defeat and finally nodded in acceptance. “fine. i’ll let it go. i mean the curse’s broken won’t bother jae anymore.” he turned to you. “i’m sorry y/n. jae and i have been best friends since kindergarten. so it’s kinda a brotherly instinct to protect him. it just comes out.”
“you do seem like the leader of the pack.” you fiddled with jaehyun’s fingers while he draped his arm around you.
“i thought i was the leader?” kun sounded offended, but not entirely.
jaehyun remained quiet. he told everyone what had happened. however, there was still one question left unanswered. what was the telepathy about?
what did it have to do with you and him? he thought about that real hard. were you actually a missing piece in the prophecy or did he misunderstand it? there were a lot of possibilities, a lot of ideas coming up that maybe he figured it wrong. maybe you did contribute to the breaking of the curse-
“ah!” jungwoo exclaimed as flicked the paper back and forth. he proudly showed what he found, putting the pieces together. the paper was moving quickly that the pairs of eyes couldn’t focus or see anything. “i’ve been telling you guys since camp but you wouldn’t listen to me!”
you squinted your hardest to see the words. all you got from the sheet of paper scribbles and connecting lines. the boys started to fight for the so they could read the younger one forcibly shoved in front of their faces.
jungwoo wanted his friends to feel their pride stepped on them, and held on the paper. “read the prophecy again. i’m excited-”
“you being excited about these things is nothing new-” ten yelled, and kun covered his mouth at the loud volume.
“‘only one could save those who lay under the curse, for they must be in the correct peace of mind and body to break it before it turns for worse.’ guys, it’s already hinted in it!” he pointed at the parts he was scribbling on earlier.
he expounded the prophecy was a little misleading. it wasn’t being literal about the right mind and body. they were the results of the having the correct heart, as the two would only be affected greatly if not for the heart.
jungwoo scooted next to you. “y/n, you weren’t only the key to solving it. you were the only person who gave him that push and made him realise he should love himself for who he was. you gave him that peace of mind because you are the heart. as we all know, the mind and body can’t function without the heart.”
“that sounds sweet?” kun blushed even though he wasn’t supposed to.
“yeah sure but the telepathy happening at the same time with my curse was just a coincidence though?” jaehyun asked.
“onto my next point!” jungwoo drew on the paper again. “i realised you told us before that only family members of the same curse can talk to each other telepathically.”
jaehyun’s brows only furrowed narrower. “which doesn’t make sense because she’s not part of my family.”
jungwoo grinned widely, it almost made you nervous but if it was coming from jungwoo, it always had to be something good. “not even us lads can even talk to you with our minds though we’re close like brothers. what if it’s a sign that she will be part of your family? even if the curse’s broken, it still proves my point that you were soulmates all along.”
somehow you knew it was headed to this. what jungwoo’s saying was similar to your hunch. you weren’t confident as he was because at the time, the curse wasn’t lifted. now that it was, you never knew you were actually right.
jaehyun shrunk in his seat after hearing jungwoo’s theory. he looked at you; who was now giggling with the others. he never thought you were his soulmate, it never crossed his mind. you appeared in his life as a shadow at first, before you resurfaced and made it a roller coaster ride. it was an eye opener for him too, you loved him for who he was, his flaws— that being the curse. although there were frequent bickers, that didn’t mean he didn’t enjoy or hate them. he was afraid you’d leave after knowing his transformation.
you didn’t. you stayed. not because you were forced to just to keep his secret, you stayed since you said you’d help. and that lifted weight off of his shoulders. colours came into view more spirited, clouded thoughts in his head faded and everything he heard that were once muffled became clear. he had to compare it like he was reborn.
in the end, you were still beside him, adjacent to him.
#nct#jaehyun oneshot#jaehyun imagines#nct jaehyun#nct 127#jung jaehyun#jung yoonoh#jaehyun x reader#jaehyun scenarios#jaehyun au#jaehyun fluff#jaehyun writings
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We met in online class - Part 9
Image adapted from here.
Pairing: Renjun x Reader
Genre: College AU, romance, angst, fluff
Warnings: Strong language, fist fight, a character has Covid-19
Word Count: 5.2k
Navigation: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | You are on Part 9 | Part 10 | Last Part
A/N: So proud of the boys for breaking records with Hot Sauce 🥺💛
Also, Eid Mubarak to all who celebrate!
Renjun is ashamed to be surprised, but his friends remain true to their word.
That night, Renjun slept for what he’s sure was a good fourteen hours. Because by the time he woke, it was way in the afternoon. Jaemin was already back from his shift and Jeno was almost halfway through his. Jisung had insisted that Renjun get some more rest before he had to take over. It was a tiny bit disconcerting to have Jisung hovering over him the entire day to make sure he was eating and feeling okay, but Renjun had to admit--this was exactly what he needed. He didn’t like who he was when he was alone.
The boys had apparently even created a dedicated group chat where they would post updates and a list of things that were required at the hospital. Not that there was much required, anyway. But the boys would make sure that at the very least, Renjun’s mom had fresh clothes and home cooked food everyday while she couldn’t get out herself. Jaemin had even taken Renjun’s phone and gotten it fixed so he at least had a proper screen instead of a cracked one.
Even when Renjun was sure that he could take over on his own, the boys wouldn’t allow it. On many occasions, he had just stayed by them during their turns, thankful for their company and their friendship. Because who else in this world would spend their semester break in this fashion? He’s pretty sure they had plans; but they had forsaken them all to be there for him.
Renjun has no idea how it happens, but slowly and surely, things start to get better. He’s pretty certain it has to be some sort of a miracle. Like a little break of sunshine had finally decided to shine on him through the dark clouds. Like somehow, his guardian angel had decided that it had slacked off for long enough and now it should give Renjun a break. Because one day, the doctors tell them that Renjun’s grandmother will be a lot weaker for the next few days to come… but with a lot of care and attention, she should be ready to go home. They echo Renjun’s thoughts and tell them that it is nothing short of a miracle, but also that he should be thankful that his grandmother is still young and has a fighting spirit.
The day she is taken off of life support and brought into another room with a window through which he can see her, Renjun can’t hold himself back. He hugs onto Jaemin so tight and cries happy tears, and Jaemin holds him back just as strong, though he’s sure that he’s so overwhelmed by relief that he’s putting all of his weight onto the boy. But Jaemin doesn’t relent and holds onto him and lets him cry tears of joy into his shoulder.
The boys head home that night and laugh till they cry and celebrate Renjun’s grandma’s life and health. They eat like they had been hungry for days and slump their shoulders in ease like they had been keeping them tense for too long. They laugh and they sit together and keep letting out long sighs of relief, as if each breath was undoing a knot in their chest. It’s a sweet, victorious sort of a happy moment, and it is Jeno who has to remind them they need to focus now more than ever so that Renjun’s grandma can get her strength back and finally test negative. And it is an important reminder because the new semester is about to begin soon and given classes, they will have to redo their hospital visit schedules.
At the very least, they learn that the new semester would begin online, because the sudden surge in Covid cases had led them to another lockdown. Renjun’s not sure whether he should be happy or upset about it. On the one hand, he thinks this lockdown should’ve happened earlier so his grandma would’ve never gotten sick in the first place. On the other hand, he is happy that his grandma would now be safe and recover comfortably.
When classes begin and Renjun finds all his housemates at home, his heart drops a little and he wonders if he should just skip today. But an amused Jeno mutes himself during his online class and stops him.
“You have other friends, too, you know?” Jeno cocks an eyebrow at him.
“Yeah, but I’m sure they have classes, too. Plus, the four of us have been doing this from the beginning, so… I don’t know…” Renjun says, rubbing the back of his neck, feeling a bit nervous about leaving his mother and grandma on their own without help. But Jeno looks at him like he’s talking gibberish.
“Dude. Not the four of us. All seven of us have been doing this from the very beginning.” Jeno says, eyebrow still cocked, looking at Renjun like he’s sure he’s lost his mind.
Renjun looks up and for a moment, he is sure his face looks dumb. Because if the buffering wheel was a human expression, Renjun’s certain he’s wearing it now. “All… seven?”
“Do you even check the group chat? Chenle and Mark and Donghyuck. They’ve all been doing their duty from Day 1, you idiot. How else would the rest of us come home so early?” Jeno scoffs and laughs a bit, knotting his eyebrows at his clueless friend.
For a moment, Renjun is silenced. Because he doesn’t know how to process this information. He feels a swell in his chest. A sort of happiness that only true friendship brings. But at the same time, he feels an incredible pang of guilt, because for one, he is an asshole that keeps underestimating the said friendship. And for the other, he had done absolutely nothing to be deserving of such love.
“Dong… Donghyuck, too?” Renjun asks and he feels his heart breaking, though even in this surreal moment of realization, he recognizes how strange it is to feel heartbreak over something like this.
“Of course, you idiot. Donghyuck was the one that stayed at the hospital the entire first night when you were asleep.” Jeno tells him and smacks him lightly on the head.
And for the first time in his life, Renjun actually feels what it is like to have his head physically hang in shame. “I don’t deserve it.” he sighs.
“I really don’t understand you sometimes, Huang Renjun.” Jeno says and turns his attention back to his class.
“What do you mean?” Renjun retorts.
“Just because friends have a dumb fight, doesn’t mean they abandon each other in times of need.” Jeno states like it is the most obvious thing in the world.
It should be simple and obvious, everything Jeno has said. But to Renjun, it is groundbreaking. Because Renjun wasn’t used to being loved and cared for without condition. In his dark and convoluted view of the world, everything was give and take. You scratch my back, I scratch yours. But here they were--his friends that were shattering all of those dumbass beliefs. Telling him that although he had been a grade A asshole and punched them in the face, they understood that he was going through some shit, and that taking care of his sick grandmother trumped all other childish grudges. Renjun realizes that perhaps, he was the most childish out of all his friends. Somewhere in his turbulent childhood, he might have skipped a lot of emotional development. Because why else would the kindness and love of his friends shock him so?
Jeno peeks over the top of his laptop and watches Renjun deep in thought, paying no attention to his own class. “He’s at the hospital right now.” Jeno says knowingly.
And that’s all Renjun needs to hear before he slams his laptop shut and makes his way out.
The fact that Renjun is probably a few steps behind in his emotional development is solidified when he sits next to Donghyuck on a park bench and suddenly finds himself at a loss for what to say.
The rush of blood and adrenaline he had felt in his veins leaving his house for his apology tour seemed to have faded when he saw his friend’s face. Donghyuck had been sitting next to Renjun’s father, but that hadn’t been the bothersome part. It was the fact that his friend was sitting there for him, but with a black eye that Renjun had given him.
In the grand scheme of healing black eyes, Donghyuck definitely looked less hurt than the last time Renjun had seen him. The purples were mostly gone, leaving behind hues of yellow and a speck of blue here and there. Though he may have been healing, there were more colors on him than before and that’s what made him look worse. That’s also the part that makes Renjun feel most ashamed. His friend was here for him even though he looked like shit thanks to him.
Renjun is sure that on the list of top ten assholes of the world, he would find his own name on top.
But sitting next to Donghyuck outside in the fresh air, he has no idea what to say. He thinks real hard and decides to start in the safe zone.
“Did the guys tell you? About my grandma?” he asks.
“Um, no. It was Jimin.” Donghyuck replies awkwardly.
Renjun nods. “I, uh… I told the guys like a day later, though. Did you tell them before I did?”
“No, um… I was at a party with the 127s… I didn’t see her text till like the next day either, so…” Donghyuck trails off.
Renjun nods again, then swallows. It’s so strange, how awkward this all is. It is unsettling because Donghyuck is the least awkward person he knows, and he hates that this weird zone is where their relationship seems to be heading.
Not if he can help it.
In another rush of dumbass adrenaline, Renjun gets up abruptly and stands before Donghyuck.
“Go on. Do it.” Renjun says and takes a deep breath.
“Huh?” Donghyuck looks at his friend quizzically.
“Do it. Just make it quick.” Renjun nods with determination and points at his face.
“You’re crazy.” Donghyuck states and slides further away on the bench, eyebrows raised, and a grimace on his mouth.
“Just do it, man. Do it so we can move on.” Renjun says, placing both hands on his waist and squeezing his eyes shut.
“I’m not going to punch you so you can move on, you psycho.” Donghyuck’s face is contorted, like he’s scandalized and perhaps even slightly scared of his friend.
“Come on, Donghyuckie. Just punch me and get it over with.” Renjun waves his hand impatiently, not relenting.
“Are you not hearing me, you crazy? I’m not punching you just to make you feel better!” Donghyuck almost yells.
And because Renjun is pretty sure this would work, he grabs at Donghyuck’s collar just to provoke him.
“What the fuck?!” Donghyuck tries to push Renjun off of him.
“Hit me!” Renjun shouts.
“No, are you fucking crazy! Get off me!” Donghyuck grabs at the sleeves of Renjun’s jacket and tries to pry him off.
“Not till you hit me!” Renjun insists, clinging onto the boy, grabbing and pulling at him to annoy him best he can to get a reaction.
“I’m not going to hit you!” Donghyuck yells. The two boys spin in inelegant, rough circles on the grass, trying to push and pull at one another.
“Punch me or you got no balls!” Renjun yowls and then finally feels the blow to his face that sends him flying to the ground.
He pauses for a bit because his head spins for a solid ten seconds. He shakes it vigorously to get it to focus and it helps because then he looks up to find a very startled and distressed Donghyuck looking down at him, fist still raised in the air.
“That had more throw than power.” Renjun comments, massaging his jaw.
“Yeah, that’s what I was going for.” Donghyuck agrees.
For a moment both boys nod and look at each other, acknowledging the technique and form of the punch. And then, they burst into laughter because fuck, all of this was so stupid. Renjun rolls on the grass and Donghyuck doubles over as he stands. Then he offers Renjun his hand to help him get up, which he takes eagerly, using it to lift up and fling himself into his friend’s arms. They hold each other strongly, thumping one another on the back. And just like that, the awkwardness is gone. All that was meant to be said has been said and now Renjun is no longer struggling to find his words. They come easily, because all of this is so natural. He was with his best friend, after all.
“You are a crazy motherfucker, you know that, right?” Donghyuck comments, shaking his head as they sit back down on the bench.
Renjun chuckles, then looks at the grass, because his head hangs in shame again. “I’m a sorry motherfucker.”
Donghyuck puts an arm around Renjun and thumps his back again. “You should be sorry, you dumb fuck. But also, you’ve got a pretty toxic coping mechanism, you know that, right?”
Renjun sighs long “I know. The longer I think about it, the dumber I feel.”
He expects his friend to make a joke in return but he feels his hesitation. So he looks up and finds Donghyuck trying to think of what to say. “Have you ever thought about… like sorting that out, maybe?” he finally asks.
“Sorting it out?” Renjun asks, confused.
“Like... you know this isn’t normal, right?” Donghyuck asks, and he doesn’t sound like he’s mocking. His tone doesn’t have the slightest hint of a joke and that’s what makes Renjun realize what he’s talking about.
“No… no, I haven’t…” Renjun admits. He doesn’t know why he’s never thought about ‘sorting it out’. Perhaps because he’s always thought he was smarter than anyone who could offer him help.
“You could give it a try. Talking to someone really helps sometimes, you know? Getting help can help.” Donghyuck says carefully.
Renjun bites his lip. He knows his friend is right, but he’s never really, truly given it a thought. Donghyuck senses his discomfort and changes the subject.
“Your grandma is finally getting tested again tomorrow.” he says as he stretches.
Renjun smiles “Yeah. I honestly can’t believe it…” he looks at his best friend “... but I also don’t know if I’ll ever be able to thank you…”
Donghyuck frowns and shakes Renjun by the shoulder “Stop it before I throw up.”
“I mean it.”
“I’ll throw up even if you mean it.”
“Donghyuck…”
“Okay, really, stop. Also, I’m not even the one you should be thanking. Or apologizing to.” Donghyuck sits back after he’s had his fill of shaking Renjun.
“Of course, you’re the one I should be thanking and apologizing to, you stupid. You did all of this for me even when I was an absolute asshole to you.” Renjun presses.
“You are an asshole, but you’re also a dumb asshole.” Donghyuck declares.
“Hey, I’m trying to apologize nicely, here.” Renjun pouts and his friend lets out a long, exasperated sigh.
“I thought you were just being obtuse but you seriously don’t know…” Donghyuck shakes his head.
“Know what?” Renjun asks and Donghyuck shrugs and acts like a little shit which annoys Renjun, but at the same time fills him with relief. Because Donghyuck being a little shit to him means their friendship has been restored to its original state. But he asks again “Know what?!”
“Dude, no offense or anything, but did you really think your parents can put your grandma in a private room all on their own?” Donghyuck asks.
Renjun stops a bit. He’d been so worried about the fact that his grandma’s life was hanging by a thread that he hadn’t even thought about the expenses part. He knows his grandma had a little bit in savings, but his parents for sure didn’t earn that much. Come to think of it, he hadn’t even realized that this was one of the nicer hospitals around.
“Fuck it, I’m really going to have to spell it out for you. Since your brain doesn’t seem to be working.” Donghyuck sighs dramatically.
“What?”
“Dude. This is Y/N’s parents’ hospital. Your mother couldn’t possibly keep taking care of your grandma all on her own, now could she? When Y/N found out, she went crazy. She made her parents direct all their best resources into taking care of your grandma.”
For a while, the information hangs in the air.
Renjun had thought that he would never get to feel things that were new and unexplainable ever again. He thought he had experienced every single feeling his body had to offer. The past month alone had put him through more emotions than he had experienced in his whole life. He had seen it all, felt it all.
But what he’s experiencing right now doesn’t feel like gratitude or shame or longing or anything one should expect to feel in a situation like this. It just feels like a soft light has filled his chest and is lifting him in the air. He feels like he’s floating, like he’s having an out of body experience.
“Oh,” is the only thing he can manage to say.
And then he remembers your face. He hadn’t realized it then, but he sees now how badly he had wanted to see you that night. He had wanted no one but you to hold him and kiss him and tell him that he wasn’t alone. And he remembers how he couldn’t tell you any of that. He remembers how you had walked away with another man.
And that makes him come back to earth. He feels a resigned sort of sadness.
“Y/N is… she would do that for anybody, wouldn’t she?” Renjun smiles sadly.
“She probably would. But you should’ve seen how worried she was. Even now, she is on the phone everyday with her parents, making sure they’re doing everything they can. She didn’t want what happened to her grandmother to happen to yours.” Donghyuck tells him.
Renjun looks up “What happened to her grandmother?”
Donghyuck raises his eyebrows. “She passed away from Covid last year?” His eyebrows go higher still “She says she’s told you about this?”
Renjun thinks, and then it’s as if a veil on his memory is slowly but poorly being lifted. He remembers laying his head on your shoulder. He remembers feeling your shirt dampen from his tears. He remembers your fingers drawing relaxing patterns in his hair. He remembers your soothing voice, speaking to him with such tenderness that Renjun had barely heard your words and had focused instead on it’s sweet tones. But now, when Renjun is forcing himself to think, he very foggily recalls what you had been saying. You had been telling him about your own grandmother. Why hadn’t Renjun listened? Why did Renjun never listen when you spoke? He was such a selfish, arrogant fool. He wishes he could go back and change it all.
Donghyuck shakes his head. “Are you really….” he sighs again, “Nevermind. But yeah, she basically went nuts because she couldn’t be here with you.”
Renjun’s heart is aching and he’s pretty sure his face reflects it. “I wish I could take it all back. Everything I did to her.”
“You can take it back.” Donghyuck says.
“How?”
“Apologize to her, you dummy.” Donghyuck smacks the back of his head.
“How? I tried calling her once but she didn’t pick up.” Renjun admits.
“Then you should call her again and again and again till it sticks.” Donghyuck says plainly and it makes so much fucking sense that Renjun is embarrassed that he hadn’t thought it.
“Yeah, but…” Renjun swallows, “... it doesn’t really matter now, does it?”
“What do you mean?” Donghyuck asks.
“She’s with Wong Hendery now. So…” Renjun can’t even complete the thought.
“What do you mean she’s with Wong Hendery?” Donghyuck scrunches his brows deep in his forehead in confusion.
“She left with him for the semester break. I went to see her… but she left with him…” Renjun presses his lips together.
“Wait…” Donghyuck says and Renjun looks up and nods at him as if to confirm the fact. But he sees something entirely different on his friend’s face. It’s an expression of deep dumbfoundedness. “... are you some sort of an idiot?” He asks like Renjun is the dimmest person he has ever come across.
And Renjun doesn’t help his cause because he only blinks in return.
“Dude! She’s not ‘with Wong Hendery,’” Donghyuck gets up and smacks Renjun across the head once again. “They’re partners on the SMK Trainee Drive. She’s literally been preparing for this for months? Shouldn’t you know this?”
Renjun blinks some more. SMK Trainee Drive? Renjun had heard and personally seen you preparing for interviews and these drives. But somehow a lot of it hadn’t registered in his brain. Once again, probably because he never listened to you well. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, he was an idiot. He was the biggest idiot on the planet.
Yet right now, he was a smiling idiot whose heart was suddenly filling with hope. “She’s not… with… she’s not with Hendery?” Renjun is embarrassed. He feels so fucking stupid asking this, but he absolutely can’t help the smile spreading across his face.
“She’s literally at the tower right now. She’s been stuck because we went into lockdown whilst she was there. It’s why she couldn’t come and see you. But the highway doesn’t open for another week, so she’ll be stuck till then.” Donghyuck explains, and Renjun feels his heart exploding with joy at every word. He’s pretty sure he’s grinning shamelessly.
“Why do I know more about your girlfriend than you do? Oh wait. It's because 'she's not your girlfriend.’” Donghyuck does a perfectly exaggerated mimicry of Renjun that reminds him of that one SpongeBob meme. On a normal day, he would’ve wanted to smack his friend for doing this. But in this moment, he is all too happy to be the one being smacked and mocked.
Renjun laughs with relief, then finds his laugh fading a bit. “Do you think she’ll forgive me? For everything I did?”
“I don’t know, man. But you wouldn’t know unless you try.” Donghyuck once again states something that should be obvious.
“How do I try if she’s not picking up my calls? And when she won’t even be here for another week?” Renjun sulks a bit but gets smacked in the head again.
“Dude! She literally did everything in the world to help your grandma, and she was in a wholeass different city! She did that all for you! I’m sure you can figure out a simple apology.” Donghyuck has his arms crossed and is now seriously looking agitated with him and it makes Renjun smile.
“She really did that for me?” Renjun asks and he doesn’t even care if he sounds like a cheesy motherfucker. He doesn’t even care he’s being this way in front of Lee Donghyuck who probably won’t let him live it down for the rest of his life.
“Of course she did that for you, you idiot.” Renjun earns another smack at the end of that.
“Does she like me?” Renjun asks like a stupid, hopeful teenage boy.
Donghyuck pretends to gag and moves away in disgust. But then he sees Renjun’s expression and lets out a long, irritated exhale. “Of course she likes you, you dumb fuck.” Renjun gets hit in the head, “Why would she do all of this if she didn’t like you?” Renjun gets another smack, “Oh Lord, please give me the strength to not commit murder. I am not your strongest soldier…” Donghyuck looks up at the sky and Renjun laughs openly, freely and lightly. He feels as if all the knots in his chest are slowly being undone one by one. So he jumps up and tries to tackle and cuddle Donghyuck but he keeps moving away. The two boys run around in the ground, Renjun chasing Donghyuck, trying to attack him with his love while he complains that his hair smells.
And Renjun accepts all his insults with a newly healed heart. You liked him. Despite everything that he’d done to you, you liked him. You had worried about him and done everything in your power to help his grandma. You had kept tabs on her and made sure she was healing even though you were miles away. You liked him, and you weren’t with a new guy and you liked him.
As he walks back towards the hospital with his arm around his best friend’s shoulders, he decides that if it came to it that he had to beg and grovel for your forgiveness, he would happily spend the rest of his life on his knees. Because you liked him and Renjun was never going to let you go ever again.
True to his word (for maybe the first time in your relationship), Renjun spends the rest of the week trying to reach you. Because his apology tour wouldn’t be complete without his most important stop--you.
He calls you so many times; but each time, he only gets to hear the dial tone and the mechanical voice telling him that the user is unreachable at the moment. You never pick up.
But his mind and his spirit is fueled by Donghyuck’s advice, and this time, the advice is a lot more sound and a lot less exploitative. So, Renjun doesn’t give up because he has to make it stick. You had never given up on him. He wasn’t going to give up on you. When he’s sure you won’t pick up his calls, he leaves you a string of messages.
‘Hey, Y/N. I’m trying to call you. Please pick up?’
‘I know you have every right to be mad at me, but I just need a chance to apologize.’
‘I’m seriously the biggest idiot in the world, but I need to tell you that in person.’
‘Okay, I’m coming to you.’
‘Turns out I can’t just negotiate with the police to let me cross the city lines to get to the girl I like.’
‘Y/N, please…’
‘I’m the world’s sorriest and the most embarrassed motherfucker and I need to hear your voice to tell you that.’
‘I am Berry-Berry sorry, and I’m just asking for one chance to get to talk to you.
‘I’m not going to stop, you know?’
He has to admit that his patience is wearing thin. Because he’s trying every method and none of it is working; and also because his pride had never allowed him to beg and grovel to anyone before. It’s a humbling experience, but at the same time, he doesn’t feel burdened by it. This was for you. The girl who had done everything in her power to make him fall. The girl who had given him more love and kindness than anyone else in the world had. The girl who had taken his troubles and worries as her own. So, of course, he had to do everything in his power to earn your forgiveness.
But as he’s sitting in his room, trying to call you for what he’s sure is the twentieth time that day, he hears that your phone has been powered off. For a moment, Renjun feels immensely dispirited. Maybe he had lost you for good. Maybe you never wanted to hear from him ever again. Maybe this is what he deserved.
But in the next moment, Renjun stops himself. No. He wasn’t going to let his mind spiral that way again. He had to think with a good, clear mind. He couldn’t sit around and sulk without knowing he had explored all possible options. He needed to get creative and for that, he needed to think.
He could certainly wait it out till the week was over and when you’d be back. But he wanted to spend each passing minute letting you know that he was trying. So, that wasn’t an option.
Maybe he could look at the map and find some loopholes and secret passageways across the city. Surely, some of them had to be unmanned so he could break the lockdown law and get to you? That would certainly be impactful, being locked up in jail as a grand gesture of an apology. But Renjun was no action hero.
Renjun sits and thinks and thinks and thinks till a light bulb finally goes off. Of course. A grand gesture. He yells into his pillow out of excitement and frustration that he hadn’t thought of this before. If one thing had been established during this time, it was the fact that Renjun was a dumb fuck with a penchant for being blind to the obvious.
He gets up bright and early the next morning and rushes to see your friend at her apartment. He sits beside her as her online class starts, away from the camera view and finds his heart filling with the utmost warmth as he sees your window finally appear on the screen. Even in the tiny box, you looked so freaking beautiful that for a minute, Renjun stops and stares as butterflies take over his belly. But he taps his cheek to get himself to focus. He was here on a mission.
He waits for the class to begin before he slides himself into view next to your friend and types out a message on the chat that had taken him all night to prepare. He hits ‘Send to Everyone’ and waits.
And thankfully, the professor--miraculously the same professor who had done this the very first time all that time ago--stops to read it out,
“This might be a long shot, but Y/N L/N, do you think you can find it in your heart to give me another chance?” he begins, squinting his eyes slightly in confusion as he reads on, then smiling as realization hits. “Well, that’s certainly not a question from Ms. Kim Minjeong, I can tell you that.” he jokes and waits because as it had before, this has piqued the students’ interest.
Renjun watches as your pretty eyes widen. He watches them skirt across your screen, seemingly looking for the cause of the commotion. He watches the moment of realization hitting your pretty face. And he waits.
“Well, Ms. Y/N L/N, are you going to put the young man out of his misery?” the professor jokes kindly and Renjun thinks he might die from the anticipation.
And then, he watches as you move to unmute yourself.
“Yeah, I guess I could give him another chance,” you say nonchalantly which earns you a round of applause and hoots from all other windows. Because college students will always love dramatic antics.
The professor calls the class back to attention and Renjun sits back in his chair, grinning like an idiot because the girl he had fallen for had given him another chance.
Copyright © 2021 NeoCultureTravesty. All rights reserved.
#renjun fic#renjun angst#renjun fluff#kpopscape#ficscafe#neowritingsnet#dreamwritersnet#huang renjun#renjun#nct dream#nct fic#nct dream fic#nct fluff#nct angst#nct college au#renjun x reader#we met in online class
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🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹(im curious shhejdwi xD)
Oh my STARS lolol I adore you for this. Okay let me open up anything ever remotely resembling a WIP.
Okay, first, we shall have a little quote from a fic that I haven't worked on in ages, but I still love and have posted the first chapter of!! It's also not one sentence but like. It needed context:
Growing up, people had told Ephraim Bridger that he didn’t know when to quit. And that wasn’t strictly true. He’d always known when to quit. He just usually chose not to.
2. From the Steve Miller Au:
“Well, what’s life without a few tangles with a Sith Lord?”
3. From my first book in my original series:
“Ooh, there’s a resistance?” I said. “I’m definitely on their side.”
4. From a happiness au I will never publish:
After looking at him for a moment, a slow smile spread across Hera Syndulla’s face, and Caleb discovered it was one of the most beautiful things he’d ever seen.
5. Two sentences from my prequel story:
"Ooh, the sarcasm is real with you today." "That'll happen when I get SHOT IN THE LEG!!"
6. Also from my happiness au, but a different fic:
“Ooh, another desert wasteland,” Ezra said. “That brings back good memories.”
7. From my Jacen fic:
“We’ve talked about this.” “Yeah, but you just said a bunch of stuff I thought was stupid,” Ezra said matter-of-factly.
8. From the second book in my series (which technically counts as a WIP yes I do make the rules):
"We're here for the meeting," Jill said. "You know, the one you were obviously trying to hide and completely failing."
9. And last but not least, another snippet from my Steve Miller Au:
Okadiah had seen the way the boy had looked at her, all the way back on Gorse at the very beginning, and even then, he’d had a feeling.
#thanks for the ask!!#star wars rebels#swr#kanan jarrus#hera syndulla#kanera#ezra bridger#jacen syndulla#happiness au#my original writing#hazel rambles about her original writing#kanereoke#wow this is a lot. but it was fun picking everything out!
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Much Cooler
Corpse Husband & Emma Langevin
Warnings: Swearing
Genre: Platonic Fluff, RPF (Real Person Fic)
Summary: There’s always a certain level of uncertainty when meeting someone you’ve only known online. There’s that sense of insecurity that your relationship with them will never be the same or - even worse - that their view of you might change for the worse. But there’s nothing more thrilling than seeing the person you’ve been talking to constantly for the past however long standing across from you.
Requested by Anon. Hi dear! Thank you so much for your request and I’m so terribly sorry for how late it’s coming out but I hope the fic makes it worth the wait! Lots of love, Vy ❤
“CORPSE! Wake up you famous dumbass!“ is the first thing the poor man heard over the phone at 9 AM on this fine Saturday morning.
It’s more than enough to make him contemplate why he even decided to pick it up in the first place considering he wouldn’t have been very able to participate in the conversation due to his sleepiness. He also, of course, made the mistake of not checking the caller ID which apparently wasn’t necessary considering how recognizable that voice and accent are.
“It’s 9 AM, Emma.“ He states as a tired parent would to a child, “I’m concerned as to why you’re up so early. More so as to why you’re calling me of all people.“
He can practically hear her roll her eyes but he still smirks to himself, knowing she can’t contradict him or argue since he’s completely right with his claims.
“Whatever. Remind me to never call you to congratulate you on a milestone again.“
Now that pokes at his attention with a stick. Lately, said attention has proven to be a hibernating bear, leaving Corpse with a lack of interest or motivation for anything but damn if that sentence wasn’t enough to roll him out of bed and hop on PC. “What? What milestone? Subscribers?“
“Nope! You got two million likes on ‘E-girls are ruining my life’! I can’t believe I have to tell you this! Didn’t you notice the numbers climbing?!“ Emma, as annoyed and sarcastic as she’s trying to sound, she’s obviously overjoyed on his behalf and is super proud of him and of the project she luckily agreed to take a small part in.
As his PC boots up, Corpse can’t help but roll his eyes at Emma’s comment, “Well unlike you I have better things to do than refresh a page over and over aga-” His sentence is quickly cut off when he sees the number of likes under the song for himself.
Knowing that he’d find it there didn’t change the feeling of seeing it for the first time at all. It’s so surreal and so hard for his mind to comprehend. Seeing as how little he thinks of himself, his content and his art, this is like his success coming to slap him across the face as if to punctuate to him how wrong that mindset is.
“You know, it wouldn’t hurt if you offered to take me out for at least a coffee to celebrate, bro.“ Emma comments sarcastically, joking only halfway from what he can sense.
He smirks, “Trying to even the playing field, I see.” He replies, referring to the fact that he’s still a faceless mystery to her while her face is literally the cover art for one of his songs.
She laughs but is quick to dismiss his claim, “Nah, I might be a curious and nosey little shit on other occasions, but other people’s privacy is not something I dig my nose into. However, if I were to even the playing field between us it wouldn’t be appearance-wise. More personality-wise. For my sake and yours I choose to believe you are way cooler in person than you are through messages or on a call.”
This withdraws a genuine fit of laughter from Corpse who throws his head back, a few strands of hair moving aside to reveal his shiny eyes, “Well then, instead of giving me the benefit of the doubt, how about we settle it once and for all? Tomorrow? I’ll text you the location.”
Emma’s eyebrows shoot upwards as soon as she comprehends his words and the tone that leaves no room for her to assume he’s joking, “Wait what? How come you’re agreeing to this? And so easily? Nah, this a trap if I’ve ever seen it.”
Corpse laughs yet again, “No trap, Em. I just can’t have you doubting my coolness.”
* * *
The main reason as to why Corpse requested for this meeting to be today is because he feared that if he had more than twenty four hours to dwell on it he’d chicken out. Little did he know it was the same for Emma.
Their friendship has only ever existed with the bridge of social media connecting them and they both can’t help but fear the other might not like who they are IRL. They fear they unintentionally become a different person or change things about themselves subconsciously when communicating with people online. Bottom line, they’re scared of letting the other person down with who they really are, unaware that their personalities are most likely the exact same because, as the people who know them can confirm, neither Corpse nor Emma are the type to put on a show in order to be liked. They would rather have no friends because of who they are than have friends and fans of their persona instead of the real them.
And so, while slightly afraid and anxious about this meeting, both of them see it as a relief test to see if the friendship is in fact as real as it’s seemed these past months.
Corpse was the one to choose the location of their meet-up, a location Emma didn’t even think twice about agreeing on, and ever since, they’ve both been counting the hours until their scheduled meeting time.
It’s not about impressing each other, at least that’s what they’re both telling themselves, but rather proving to the other that they’re worthy of their friendship. They might throw snarky and sarcastic comments at one another that others would give a side-eye glance to and question if their friendship is real, but they know the dynamic best and they sure as hell don’t wanna lose it or each other.
Best friends are the ones who roast each other after all - you can’t tell me I’m wrong.
The nervous Corpse fidgets with the insides of his hoodie pockets as he waits outside the café, having arrived ten minutes early because he couldn’t stand being alone with his thoughts in his apartment, judging every fragment of himself twice as harshly as usual.
Emma, on the other hand, could barely bring herself to leave her home. She kept retouching her appearance, despite knowing Corpse wouldn’t judge her even if she showed up in pjs. To be fair she contemplated doing just that several times because her hair pissed her off enough to get her discouraged on her outfit altogether but she did eventually talk herself into pulling it together. She already knew she’d be at least five minutes late, but once again, she knew Corpse wouldn’t care.
He’d wait, cause that’s the kind of friend he was. Cause that’s the kind of friend she was for him too.
And boy did it take her less than a second to recognize him. She wasn’t even out of the car when she saw him and knew it was exactly who she was looking for. He too, as if with a sixth sense that registered her presence, shoots his head up from his phone to look up at her, their gazes meeting. There’s a brief moment of close-to-shocked silence, their eyes a bit widened as their brains comprehend that they’re within arm’s reach of one another.
That’s when Emma’s the first to break the bubble of awe as a wide grin spreads across her face and she runs to Corpse, wrapping him in a hug before he’s even realized the distance between the two’s been closed.
“Hey.“ She mumbles, her face hidden in his hoodie due to the height difference.
“H-hey.“ He replies, hesitantly wrapping his arms around her too.
“I was right.“ She says once she pulls away, “You are much cooler face-to-face.“ She pauses for a second, narrowing her eyes, “You’d be even cooler if you bought me coffee though.“
Earning a laugh from him, she’s guided into the café by the arm Corpse wraps around her shoulders, telling her he’s get her a milkshake cause he doesn’t want to see her high on caffeine.
Needless to say, they both are, indeed, much cooler to one another IRL.
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Operation Deku Day- Izuku Midoriya
author’s note: hiiii! so today’s inspiration is drunk sex. anyone who’s ever had drunk sex before knows that shit hit different. Something about it is soo nasty and hot ugh I’m a sucker. I firmly believe that izuku is an insatiable sex god don’t let that innocent sweetness fool you so he was the perfect candidate for my idea. please enjoy! all characters are aged up 18 +
warnings: cussing, smut!, alcohol use, breeding kink? and sex under the influence. also light degradation
summary: For Izuku’s 21st birthday you and the girls decide to throw him a surprise birthday party. As the night progressed, you and Izuku got real drunk and couldn’t keep your hands off each other... in more ways than one.
word count: 2.4k
You spent all week preparing for this surprise party for Izuku. It was his birthday and you really wanted him to feel special and appreciated for being a great friend and loving boyfriend. You were pretty good at pretending that all the things you snuck home were just “things for the apartment” instead of decorations and all his favorite foods for the party. Bakugo being Izuku’s childhood friend couldn’t pass up on helping you and everyone from your graduating class of 1-A prep for the party, keeping everything hidden from Izuku.
“MIND YOUR DAMN BUSINESS DEKU!” He’d yell at him if the green haired pro hero asked one too many questions. Today was finally the day to set up the party. You just had to keep everything hidden for a little while longer. You woke Izuku up with kisses and a plate of his favorite breakfast. He’d always loved pancakes but for whatever reason, he loved your waffles. Izuku could eat them for dinner if you’d let him. He smiled and ate his food, gushing about how he’s finally 21.
“I can drink with you now, Y/N.” He said with a mouthful of waffles. You grinned and kissed him on the cheek as he ate. “So, what are we doing today?” He asked. Even though today was his birthday, the hero still had to work.
“Oh.. uhm.. well.” You struggle to tell Midoriya that you had “nothing planned” knowing that he’d be hurt by that.
“Maybe we could just go out to the bar and have a few drinks?” You lie, wincing at the upcoming disappointment in his voice. He nodded with a weak smile, trying not to seem too disappointed at the lazy plans. But he was grateful anyways and kind of excited to see the bar scene. After eating his birthday breakfast, he stood up from the bed and got ready for the day. While he was in the bathroom you text the mass group chat with the entire class in it named “Operation Deku Day!” Mina had already been messaging you all throughout the morning reminding everyone that the party starts at 9 pm; right when Izuku is expected to be home.
“So what kind of cake does he like? I’m at the bakery right now.” Todoroki texts followed by an image of the options of cake the menu had.
“Get him chocolate.” You text, giggling at the plan all coming together nicely. You wait for a response while looking at all the gifs and memes everyone’s sending sharing the same excitement for the party.
“Cool. I’ll have them decorate it and drop it off at your place, Y/N. Just let me know when Midoriya leaves.” Shoto texts back, you responding with an Ok and answering any questions about the party from the others.
“Your phone’s going off a lot today, Y/N. Who are you talking to?” Izuku asks, his hips adorning a towel as he just got out of the shower. You look his wet body up and down, almost forgetting to respond to the question before he gets too curious.
“OH! Uh, It’s just the girls. Yaoyorozu wished you a happy birthday.” You laugh nervously, clearly awful at keeping secrets. Izuku just smiles and tells you to tell her he said thank you and got dressed in his hero costume.
“Well, I’m off. I love you Y/N. I’ll see you later tonight.” Izuku says giving you a small peck on the lips as he leaves your shared apartment. You wave goodbye as he shuts the door and jumped up from your bed, texting the group chat
“THE EAGLE HAS LEFT THE NEST. OPERATION DEKU DAY IS AGO.”
Momo, Mina and Uraraka spend all day decorating the house and setting the ambiance for the party. Todoroki brought the cake and put it in the fridge and starting making a small ice sculpture in the shape of All Might for the spiked punch he made (He was known for making a good cocktail). Kyoka made a playlist for the party, she was the DJ afterall. She tweaked the stereo so the sound system would be JUMPIN and laughed maniacally as she knew she was gonna rock the fucking house down. Katsuki insisted on cooking since “You can’t cook half as good as he can.” Or at least that’s what Katsuki said. He handed a hot dish of buffalo chicken dip (my favorite) to Mineta, who insisted on helping with... idk something.
“It’s hot on the bottom, idiot. If you drop my dip I’m gonna drop my fucking fist down your throat.” Bakugo shouts, making Mineta nervous as he walks carefully with the dish. Sero and Yaoyorozu were putting the finishing touches on the decorations as you check the clock on your phone. Shit. It was 8:59. You see a text you received from Izuku 30 minutes ago saying he was on his way home and another from just now saying he’s coming upstairs. You squeal and start panicking. He was probably already on your floor.
“Everybody ready? Izuku’s home!” You yell over everyone’s excited chatter. Everyone replied in a harmonious yes and took their places. You run towards the door and adjust your strapless dress, turning off the lights. You stand behind the houseplant by the door and almost squeal in excitement as you hear the door click unlocked.
“Y/N?” You hear Izuku say nervously as he turned on the lights. He gasps as everyone jumps out from their hiding places and yell
“SURPISE!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY IZUKU!”
He smiles brightly and grabs you, giving you the biggest hug while lifting you off your feet.
“Wow, thanks everyone!” He says excitedly, looking around the room to see all his friends. He became a little emotional knowing that you all went through the trouble of planning a surprise birthday party for him. You wipe his tears and give him a big fat kiss, earning an excited spin from him.
“We love you Izuku. Now, let’s enjoy your party!” You said as you let him to the delicious spread of food to start Izuku off. Kyoko started the music and danced along to the beat to get everyone to join in on the fun. Mina pulled Uraraka towards the living to dance with her as she waved Asui over to join in. Shoto manned the punch bowl, serving everyone with a half smile hoping they like his punch. Midoriya walks over to grab a plate of food from Katsuki.
“Yo, Ka-Chan!” He yelled over the music. Bakugo smirks and gives the birthday boy his plate. They chat over the food and laugh together as they have a good time in each other’s company. Katsuki seemed to cease the usual teasing, just for this one special night. You giggle and run over to the dancefloor with your cup of punch in toe. You drink and dance at the same time, spilling a little bit of punch as it ran down your chin. Mina laughs and takes your hands dancing along to the beat with you. The night was young and the party was a success. You were just glad Midoriya seemed to be having a great time.
Drink after drink you feel yourself get extremely tipsy, stumbling around with a drunk Mina and Asui. Uraraka had passed out on the couch from all the drinking and dancing. Even Momo was drunk, creating a phone to drunkenly call in some pizza since there was no more of the food Katsuki made. It was 1 am and everyone was still partying like there was no tomorrow. Including Midoriya. You had never seen this shy boy act so boldy and confidently. It was kind of a turn on. He was in a chug contest with Bakugo, seeing who out of them both could drink the most drinks the fastest. Ida, Shoto, Kirishima and Kaminari crowded around the two chanting chug chug chug as they both drank themselves into a drunken stupor. Izuku finished first, erupting into a loud and boisterous burp. Bakugo grunts and raises Izuku’s arm in the air claiming him the victor. When the hell did Katsuki EVER admit to defeat?
“ *hic* IZUKU’S THE FUCKING CHAMPION! *hic* And he’s one of my best fucking friends! I- I love you bro.” Katsuki says, slurring his speech and stuttering over his words. Midoriya winks at you, who was watching the whole thing go down from across the room.
“L-Love you too, Kaaaachan.” Izuku slurred, stumbling over to you to give you a kiss. He wanted to celebrate his victory the right way; with a kiss from his girlfriend who was looking sexier than usual tonight. Midoriya approached you, smelling like beer and sweat as he pulled you close to him. Without warning he crashed his lips into yours, turning a sweet kiss into an intense and passionate make out session in front of the whole party. Something definitely took over in Midoriya. He was more aggressive with you than usual. You hear encouraging whoos and a jealous aww from Mineta who wished he was the one kissing you. Izuku waved him away as if he was shooing a fly and lifted you up, carrying you away from the party and into your bedroom. He shut the door with a slam, you squealing with excitement as he heatened the kiss. Izuku’s hands were all over you, groping your ass, squeezing your boobs and leaving sloppy kisses all over your neck. He was a beast, hungry for his well deserved prize.
“Do you know what you do to me, Y/N?” Izuku asked, pulling away from the sloppy kiss as he throws you on the bed. You can’t even answer as you stare at him dumbly, still shocked at your normally sweet and gentle boyfriend turn into a lust stricken beast. He hovers over you on the bed, drinking in your body in that tight little dress you wore. Izuku feels himself stiffen at the sight of you, pulling your panties down under your dress.
“’M gonna leave this dress on. You look so good right now, ya know that? Your tits are popping out of this little thing” Midoriya hisses, taking his calloused hand and rubbing tight circles on your already sensitive bud. You moan at his dirty words, intoxicated on his touch as you grab a pillow and cover your face with it. Izuku snatched the pillow away and threw it across the room, eager to hear your moans no matter who else was around to hear them.
“Let everyone know how good I’m making you feel.” He said, easing two fingers inside you wet walls. You moan like a pornstar, grabbing onto Midoriya’s arm for dear life as he fingered you with a steady pace. Izuku’s eyes were glued to your face, watching you make those faces he loved to see pull on your features as he pulled your breasts out of your dress suckling on your swollen nipple. You pant, gasping at the euphoric feeling as the pit of your stomach tightened, threatening to snap as you approach a fast climax. Izuku noticed you body language automatically able to tell you’re about to cum. He quickened his pace as he watched you arch your back as you came undone before him.
“Good girl.” Izuku coos as he takes his hand and sucked his sweet juices off his fingers. You flutter your eyes open as Izuku pulled his pants and boxers down in one swift movement, his impressive length springing out as you lick your lips at the sight. You wanted him in your mouth so you grab his dick and stroke it with a tight grip earning an eager moan from Midoriya as he grabbed your hair.
“N-No. As much as I want you to, I have to be inside you.” He stutters, pulling your dress up over your hips. He kissed you sloppily, slipping some tongue in as you moan into the kiss. He motioned for you to bend over and you do so with excitement, wiggling your ass to tease him as he smacked it with fervor.
“You ready for me?” Izuku asked tapping his dick against you as you nod and back yourself onto him, feeling his dick slide inside you with ease. You both moan at the feeling as Midoriya grabs your hips and thrusts harshly inside you, holding nothing back as he pulled your hair and smacked your ass. The muffled sounds of the music along with the sinful noises coating the walls of your room were all you could hear as you feel his hand reach forward to rub your clit as he brushed up against your g-spot repeatedly. You scream, trying to keep up with his swift and hard strokes as you throw your ass back on him, gripping the sheets for dear life. You’re sure everyone can hear your loud moans over all the music as you approach a second climax.
“I’m gonna fill that pretty pussy with my cum, baby. You want me to fill you up don’t you, you filthy whore?” Izuku said, earning a frantic yes from you as you whine for him. You’re shocked at his words but more so turned on by them as you clench around him, cumming for him a second time. Izuku hissed as he rode out your orgasm, chasing his own. Soon enough, he’s coating your insides with his hot seed, grunting and moaning as he ruts into you a few more times. You whine at the loss of his dick as he pulled out of you. Izuku watched as his thick sperm dripped out of you, satisfied with the job for now. He grabbed a towel and cleaned you off sloppily, still heavily intoxicated. You giggled and grabbed your underwear and slipped them back on to rejoin the party. Izuku and you were both a visual mess. It looked as if you both just had sex, your hair was an absolute wreck, your dress was disheveled and you were missing a shoe. Izuku was just as bad, sweat glistening on his forehead and he had this big cheesy grin plastered on his face. You hoped you were both inconspicuous enough for you both to just rejoin the party as if nothing happened in your bedroom. But Mina took one look at you two and erupted into laughter.
“You two just had sex didn’t you?!”
#bnha fanfiction#bnha smut#bnha#bnha izuku#bnha midoriya x reader#bnha bakugo x reader#bnha todoroki x reader#bnha x reader#bnha fluff#bnha imagines#bnha bakugo katsuki#bnha bakugou#bnha headcanons#bnha kirishima#bnha midoriya#bnha oc#bnha todoroki
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