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#the author probably should have slept instead of written but
sc0tters · 8 months
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Buttons | Mark Estapa
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summary: when you get frustrated and do some pretty ballsy things at a party, Mark realises that it’s about time he lets you that he wants more than just a fuckbuddy out of you.
request: yes/no
warnings: mature themes, p in v, swearing, underaged drinking.
word count: 2.44k
authors note: I was in a rut trying to write yesterday, thinking it’s doing better today but who knows? Realised that this is the first thing I’ve written for Mark on here and I’m not upset. This request has been sitting in the works for a while so let’s hope good things have come from that.
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You knew it was going to end badly for you.
Mark had been ignoring you since you arrived at the party because some little blonde girl found herself by his arm the entire time.
Whilst you knew Mark could do it because you weren’t dating him, you were merely his fuck buddy. You couldn’t help but feel a bit neglected.
The boy hadn’t slept with you in over two weeks, part of that was because you had your period during week one and week two was all about this girl.
As much as you wanted to ignore it, knowing that a guy is thinking about someone else whilst he is fucking you into oblivion is not attractive.
So instead you stood against a wall deep in conversation with Mackie and Ethan as your eyes never left the Michigan native “I’m going to go get another drink.” Mackie announced leaving you alone with the Canadian.
Ethan was always attractive to you but you never made a move because Mark made one on you before you had the chance “looking real nice today princess,” Ethan leaned forward so you could hear him over the sound of the music.
His hand wrapped around your waist when you smiled “you don’t look too bad yourself Edwards.” You took the beer from his hand letting your lips wrap around the bottle as you took a sip.
If he didn’t have as much self restraint Ethan would have groaned at the sight “gonna get me in trouble,” by now you had realised that Mark was staring at the two of you as the blonde he was with was busy kissing his neck.
You couldn’t help but giggle “we aren’t dating,” you reminding him as you felt like this was Mark getting a taste of his own medicine.
Sure you probably should have felt bad using Ethan for this but the moment he hooked his fingers under your jaw you knew it was no longer your fault “you’re gonna need to stop me if you don’t want this.” Ethan mumbled as his lips hovered over yours.
It made your heart thump as you nodded giving the boy the green light as he kissed you, Ethan wasn’t a bad kisser by any means but you mind knew he wasn’t your favourite, that was a position for Mark.
Mackie was unaware of what was going on as he came back to you two “you will not believe what I saw!” The boy cut himself off when you pulled away from Ethan “sorry,” the younger boy apologised as his cheeks turned red.
You sent Mackie a smile “don’t be,” you squeezed Ethan’s hand “I’m going to the bathroom.” You announced trying your best to hide your smirk as you walked past Mark who sent a glare in the direction of the boys.
Just like usual the selection of bathrooms at the senior parties that were free were slim “perfect,” you mumbled to yourself finding one that was unlocked and free.
The mirror stared back at you as you ran your fingers through your hair letting you see how your swollen lips looked without a fresh coat of lipgloss.
Mark was stood in the kitchen when you came back down, he was busy trying to make himself a drink “hey Markie,” you cooed as a devilish grin formed on your face.
That only ever meant trouble when it came to you “what can I do for you pretty girl?” He smiled seeing you stop standing next to him.
Your hand grabbed his “got a present for you,” you explained grabbing it out of your shorts pocket.
He would have had to have been an idiot to not notice the lacey material against his hand “what-” his eyes went wide as he saw the dark shade of red, that was his favourite set of yours.
It was like he forgot how to speak English “when you remember what’s waiting for you, you know where to find me.” Your voice was soft as you kissed the lobe of his ear before you went back to Ethan who pulled you onto his lap on the couch.
The Michigan native swore that smoke was coming out of his ears when his teammate wrapped his arm around your waist. Mark didn’t know if it was the panties in his hand or the fact that he knew you weren’t wearing any that made him was to blow a fuse.
Mark 🛑: meet me in Nicks room now
y/n 🩷: got an Uber outside, I’m not fucking you in your teammates room.
It actually made him laugh how you knew what was going to happen, he was always so predictable to you “I’ll see you later E,” you mumbled as you pressed a kiss to his temple before you got up letting Mark wrap his arm around your shoulders as the two of you walked out of there.
That was the thing, despite all the other people that came into your lives none of them ever made it into your beds. That was a space simply for the two of you “been a bad girl for me princess.” Marks words sent shivers down your spine.
Your thighs squeezed together as you smiled “only do it for you baby,” you mumbled running your fingers along the hem of his shirt.
Mark wanted to take you there and then “get in the car,” he muttered as he opened the door letting you slide across the leather seats “busy night huh?” The driver asked with a smile looking into the rear view mirror totally obvious to the desire that practically oozed out of your and Marks ears.
Whilst the boy tried to focus on making small conversations with the driver you only had one thing in mind. Your hand ran up Mark’s thigh as your lips went to his neck “Markie,” you whimpered as the boys eyes continued to ignore you “just here will do thanks,” Mark announced as he saw the sophomore house that sat on the hill.
Before the car came to a stop you were already hopping out of it “have a good night,” the driver smiled as he finally realised what was going on.
Marks hand wrapped around your waist pulling you close to him “you too dude,” with the slam of the car door Marks lips were on yours.
It was a messy kiss as the tastes of your drinks mixed together letting the beer on his tongue practically make you drunk all over again “house,” was all you could get out as you were growing impatient.
He laughed as your comment made him hold out his hand as he pulled you in the direction of the house. Thankfully everyone on campus was at the party so nobody noticed the way Mark had to carry you into the house and up the stairs because all you wanted was to kiss him “Mark please,” you begged as your foot shut the door behind him leaving you in his room alone.
You gasped when your back hit the mattress “shouldn’t even touch you with the way you’ve been acting.” Mark muttered to himself as he joined you on his bed letting his lips nip at your neck.
The comment made you scoff “not my fault you were with her.” You shot back running your fingers through his hair.
Mark laughed as he looked up with a grin “you jealous of her princess?” He smirked kissing up your jaw until his lips hovered over yours.
His eyes only seemed to look at yours as he waited for your answer “I’m not,” you pouted as your eyebrows furrowed “you sure?” He teased letting his lips fall to the sides of your own rather than on your lips how you wanted it.
You knew you were going send yourself into some hot water “why would I be when I had Ethan.” That was the killer line with the same level of delivery.
The boy pushed his lips into a fine line “that mouth is going get you into some trouble.” He tapped his fingers on your lips as he laughed.
It made you smirk “what are you going to do about it?” Your voice ran through his ears as his eyes turned dark “gonna wish you didn’t say that.” Mark mumbled as he leaned down finally giving you what you wanted.
Teeth clashed against each other as his hand went down your waist “shit,” you groaned as you felt the denim of your shorts hit your clit.
The hockey player smirked as he pulled away letting his lips pull at your lower one “I need you so much right now, fuck.” Mark groaned as you were two usually into foreplay but some nights you simply needed a good fuck that meant in order for you to last long enough there was next to no foreplay, this was one of those nights.
His boner was hard as his shorts felt like they were sucking the life out of his cock “what are you waiting for then?” Your eyebrows wriggled as he pulled his shirt over his head leaving you to do the same thing with your own.
Mark knew he’d never get over the sight of you in that red bra “you knew I was gonna fuck you tonight didn’t ya?” He smiled as his knees fell between your legs as he pecked your lips making sure to kiss each part of you. From your neck, to the valley of your breasts “there were made for me,” Mark mumbled as he let his hands cup your bra before he continued to make his way down to the waistband of your shorts.
He smiled as he undid the buttons helping you slide out of them “gotta hear you scream tonight,” the hockey player confessed placing a kiss on your thigh “what are you waiting for then?” Your voice bounced off of the walls as you reached up to untie the string on his shorts “you poor boy,” you cooed seeing his boner in the boxers that you began to palm.
Mark threw his head back feeling your hand against him “don’t make me wait,” he grumbled wrapping his hand around your wrist as he forced you to stop.
Deciding that it was best to avoid irritating him further you listened pulled his boxers down as he handed up a condom. Marks big secret in life was that watching you roll that condom over his cock was his favourite thing to see “always do it so well,” Mark groaned as your cold hand with flush his his lower torso “come here.” You mumbled motioning for him to come down and kiss you again.
His hand guided his cock to your pussy as he teased your clit “fuck,” you groaned trying to force your hips up to meet his “never gets old.” Marks voice was rough agreeing with yours as he guided his cock inside of your pussy.
Like normal his forehead rested on yours as he ran his hands down your thighs as he brought your legs over his shoulders “fuck!” You gasped as you clenched around him “you think Ethan could fuck you like this?” Mark asked smiling as he continued to kiss your lips feeling like the cherry lipgloss that you had reapplied in the bathroom was like a drug to him.
When you didn’t answer the hockey player let his teeth softly sink into your lip as he let out a grunt “no Mark.” Your face scrunched up “this pussy is yours.” You added making him practically want to come on the spot.
The idea of the you being his and his only warmed his heart. What had started off as a drunken meetings between you two that morphed into hookups when you needed them, now had left both of you with feelings. You had found yourself growing jealous when girls tried to flirt with him and as much as you tried to act like it wasn’t important. Because you weren’t with him, but with each girl who tried her luck it was harder to ignore how you felt about him.
Mark was in a similar position to you, each moment of his free time he wanted to spend it with you. All of the boys had warned him about you catching feelings but he never thought that it would last twelve months and that he’d be the one catching them “all mine?” Mark asked as he nipped at your jaw making sure that the bruises would show up in the morning.
You nodded as his hand found it’s place between you two resting his thumb on your clit “made for you,”you groaned using all of your strength to pepper kisses against his jaw.
Moans mixed with the sound of skin slapping bounced off of the walls “you’re gonna make me come,” you announced letting him know it as he increased his pace “right behind you baby.” Mark let his head fall to your shoulder as he kissed the bare skin.
His breath warmed up your skin causing your hand to wrap into his hair “so good baby,” he cooed as he looked up to see your eyes rolling back into your head.
That was the thing, sex with Mark was always so soft. Even if you two were pissed of before hand, always ended softly “let go baby, you don’t gotta ask tonight.” The hockey players confession was enough to get you off.
Your eyes screwed shut as your body shuddered with pleasure “right there shit!” You almost forgot how to breathe as you kept on repeating profanities.
When your pussy clenched around his cock in bursts it caused his orgasm to follow shortly behind your own “so good princess.” Mark helped you through your high as your chest raised trying to steady your breathing.
Marks cock slid out of your pussy as he let your legs fall down to your sides “you ready for round two?” You smiled getting the upper body strength to push yourself up.
The comment made him laugh “I gotta ask you something first though princess.” Mark pulled you onto him as he pushed your hair out of your face “yeah?” You tried to ignore the mushy feeling that came through your chest.
Just as you were ready to sink back down onto his cock he dropped one the question he had been trying to decide on for months “let’s do something tomorrow that’s off campus.” He offered groaning as you stopped yourself halfway hearing the news.
“Fuck me like you mean it and then you can take me wherever you want baby.”
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dancingtotuyo · 21 days
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Before | 5. cold is the water
A Woman Story
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Rating: Mature
Warnings: childbirth, grief, loss, mania
Notes: So we come to the end of our reader’s written back story. Thank you all for following this little side story to the series. It means the world to me! I love you all tremendously.
No beta we die like Gabe in the previous chapter.
Words: 1499
Series Masterlist | Woman Masterlist | Author Masterlist
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Long, agonizing, terrorizing screams ricochet off your bedroom walls as you thrash around. Everything blurs together in pain and tears and snot. Another contraction hits. The pain in your abdomen is a dull ache compared to the splitting in your chest. 
This isn’t right. It’s all wrong. He should be here. He’s supposed to be here to hold your hand and welcome your child into the world. He’s supposed to hold the baby, his baby, care for them alongside you. Instead, you’re doing this alone. You’re surviving alone, raising a child alone. 
It’s been three months since he died, bitten on a routine patrol, but your body is just beginning to process it, too concerned about growing a human to do so until now. Your body is ready. Ready to release this child into the damned world you live in and accept that Gabe is gone. You thought this moment would make him feel closer, but his absence is only amplified. He’s not coming back, and you are hopelessly alone again. 
The sob wracks your body, coming from a deeper part of your soul now. Flames burn within your lungs as you double over grasping the bed for support. Your face is sticky from the sweat and tears. You’re struggling to pull air in but it does nothing to silence you. If anything you grow louder. The sounds out of you are inhuman, animalistic.
The door clicks. You sense it. You can’t hear it over yourself. Maria stands there behind the tears and spots dotting your vision, firm and solid. You look a mess. Dark, purple rings sit under your eyes. Your nose is red and running. You’ve burst a blood vessel in one of your eyes.
“Maria…” your voice is hoarse and your knees lock up before your cries start again. 
Maria rushes forward, grabbing your forearms before you can topple over. Your hysteria resumes.  
Your words slur together. “He should be here!” Another contraction hits. As they progress, so does the splitting in your chest. You feel like you’re being ripped in two. “I can’t do this without him! I can’t do this alone!”
Maria grips your shoulders. She will probably leave bruises, but you can’t tell in the moment. She says your name, but you continue to howl. She says it again, but it does nothing. It’s just another noise in the cacophony you’re creating. 
Her hands grasp your neck. She can feel your racing pulse. Maria is no doctor but she knows it’s too fast. “Look at me!” There’s just enough pressure, just enough of a shake. Her voice is just loud enough to stun you for a minute. “You have to calm down! You’re going to tear yourself apart if you don’t!”
Your eyes clear enough that you can make out hers; dark, warm, and swimming with concern. You don’t pick up on the guilt. The look in yours scares her just as much as your mania does. It’s deep and wild. It’s grief and it’s pure terror. 
She presses her forehead to yours, her grip on your neck unchanging and it keeps you pinned to reality by a thumbtack. Does she know you haven’t slept in days pacing through your house like a mad woman? 
“You’re not alone! Do you hear me?” Her eyes water over. Your head is pounding like a bass drum, but your pulse is dropping. “You have me, and Tommy and the rest of Jackson. You’re not alone. I’m not going to leave. I promised Gabe you wouldn’t be alone.”
You know Maria wants to look away, but she doesn’t. She holds you tighter, pulls you closer. You know she had to put the bullet in your husband’s head. 
The tears bubble up again, but they’re different this time, like the water from a spring. Your chest shakes, but it doesn’t rattle. You’re not hurting yourself with these tears. They’re pure sadness running in hot, gentle streams down your cheeks. 
“I miss him so much.” It barely comes out, scratching your esophagus like sandpaper. 
Maria’s grip on you loosens. You fall forward, head buried in her shoulder, tears soaking her shirt. Her arms wrap around you and the two of you slowly sink to the ground. Your grief is all-encompassing. It’s more than just Gabe. It’s the people you lost on outbreak day. It’s the people you’ve lost since, the grief of the life you once knew, and the grief of the life you anticipated. Her tributary of tears form a river with yours. It’s that your child will never know their father. It’s the grief of the childless mother beside you, and knowing there’s only more grief to come. It won’t stop even in this little semblance of normalcy the community has worked so hard to carve out in the mountains of Wyoming. So the two of you sit there until the tears stop. 
You don’t know how much time has passed but you’re stiff, your bottom numb. The contractions are closer together. Pulling away from Maria, your chest aches. Your limbs feel like overcooked spaghetti. Your mind is hazy. Maria aids you from your bottom to all fours, to hands on your mattress so you can get to your feet. It’s harder than you expect. 
Another contraction hits. You feel this one the most. It has you gasping for breath. Your hand catches Maria’s forearm for stabilization. Your legs are wet. You curse. This isn’t the first time you wet your pants, but it’s definitely the most. You move toward the bathroom and more leaks out. You groan. 
“Did your water just break?” 
You turn back towards Maria, eyes blazing with wildness once again. It makes more sense than what you were thinking. She sees you slipping into the oblivion. 
“Hey.” She grabs your hands, holding them to her chest. It jerks you back to reality. “It’s okay. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Promise?”
“I promise.”
The water is tepid against your skin, the pressure building in your abdomen as beads of sweat form on your forehead. Dr. Pooley messes with instruments on your bathroom counter. Maria kneels next to the tub, holding your hand. 
“You’re doing great.”
Your head rolls to one side as a low groan escapes from your mouth. Your head is foggy from the tears, eyes swollen almost shut. Despite the pain, you feel far away from the moment, like you’re watching from the corner of the room. All this pain should keep you in your body. This is wrong. It’s all wrong. 
“Hey,” Maria snaps. “Stay here with me.” She squeezes your hand. It hardly registers against the other sensations flooding your body, but the skin-to-skin contact brings you back just in time for another contraction to hit.
It feels different. Like the baby shifted. The pain kicks up a notch and a strangled yell escapes from your lips. Dr. Pooley kneels next to you. 
“I’m going to check the baby’s position.”
Maria keeps a hold of your hand as the doctor checks. The baby is crowning. 
You know what’s next. You’ve delivered most of the babies born in Jackson, the number growing every year, particularly in the springtime months, but this is your child in the dead of winter without your husband. Your head shakes and the tears threaten to spill again. 
“No,” the words tumble from your lips. “I can’t.”
Dr. Pooley looks at Maria, the pair sharing silent words. 
“Move forward,” Maria instructs.
“Maria, I can’t-“ Your breathing quickens, the short breaths of hyperventilation nearing. 
“Move forward.” Her hands are on your back, pushing you. 
The water sloshes around you. Maria stands. Confusion chases away your tears. Her hiking boot submerges into the water, followed by the other. Water climbs up her jeans before she sits behind you, thighs pressed against yours. Her arms wrap around your shoulder, keeping you tight against her. “I’ve got you. You yell. You scream. You do whatever the fuck you need to do to get through this, but you stay here. I want you to remember every detail of this sweet baby’s face when they get here. We’re going to get through this.”
Your breathing doesn’t slow, but it doesn’t get worse and that’s all that matters. Your screams echo off the tile. Maria holds you close and then the physical pain takes over, blocking everything out for a few precious minutes like you’ve slipped underwater or that part in a movie where they cut the sound during a scene filled with chaos. 
You’re about to have a child. It hits your square in the chest, bringing you back to earth as his cries break through the world. 
He’s slick against your chest, squirming around in loud protest. Your instincts snap into gear like  a momma bear with her cub as you pull him to your chest. Your lips struggle to form the words, but you swear you hear Gabe’s voice for a split second. 
You did it, Doleful. You got this. 
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scarletwinterxx · 1 year
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Confess my truth in swooping, sloping, cursive letters - mark lee imagine
hello! happy holidays to all of you, sending lots of warm hugs. thank you all so much for being a part of my year💛I appreciate each and every one of you who showed love and support for my blog.
Haven't written a story this long in such a long time, i should give myself a pat on the back🥺😅also i really really like how this turned out, i hope you do too!
Song inspo : paris - taylor swift
if you have a request or scenario you want me to do, just send me a message I'll see what I can do😊💌
For my other works you can check them out here, and for my other story series’ you can check them out here.
All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2022 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.
(gif not mine, credits to owner)
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“I’m going to cuff her, just you wait” you hear Mark say from beside you. While you're too busy trying to understand the notes you took down yourself and still not understand a thing, your bestfriend has his own distractions.
“Who?” you ask without looking up
“Aeri, the new transfer” Mark answers swiftly
“Like you would have a chance with her, it’s too early for your delusions Min” you call his nickname. Min, from his name Minhyung. Most people call him that, or Mark. But when it's just the two of you talking you mostly refer to him as Min.
“What? It’s not a delusion. We have like a lot in common” he reasons out, letting your eyes roll at his reasoning. You finally look up at him, and ask
“Oh yea like what?”
“We’re both exchange students” you shoot him a deadpanned look, waiting for him to say something else
“You moved here 11 years ago”
"So?"
"You know what if that's what you believe, go. I'm not going to crush your feelings this time. If you want to be dumb, go and be my guest"
Mark snickers at your words, not sure if it was you showing support or teasing him.
"What are you reading anyways? Just accept your fate and focus on something else" he says, looking at your notes. The handwriting is not neat at all, only you can understand it at this point but Mark has known you long enough to read it like his own.
"Dude, are you studying for the exam tomorrow?" he asks
"Yea why?"
"This is the wrong chapter"
"Motherfucker"
Turns out Mark was right, you were reading the wrong chapter all along. After having a mini freak out upon realizing that and realizing you didn't have enough time to cram a semester worth of lesson in one night, Mark had to calm you down and make sure you don't cry the rest of the night instead.
He made sure to buy dinner for the both of you before he walked you back to your dorm, leaving a pack of gummy bears in your bag for you to find later because he knows you'll probably pull an all nighter.
The next time you see each other is after the exam, your eyes were swollen either from the lack of sleep or from crying that Mark is not sure of.
"You look like shit"
"Thank you, like I didn't already know that"
He passes the coffee he got you before taking your bag and slinging it on his shoulder, "How did the exam go?"
"Good, better than I expected" you mumbled, taking a sip of your much deserved coffee "Thank you" you tell him, referring to the coffee.
"So now that you're a free woman, there's a party later"
"I know where this is going, I haven't slept since Monday. A party is the least of my priority right now, Min"
You do feel very drained right now and you haven't slept a wink, exam seasons got you staying up all night and crying in between the 15 minute breaks. The only reason you haven't lost the last of your sanity is because of the human walking beside you.
You and Mark may argue a lot but you have each other's back no matter what. He's your bestfriend, he's your mediator, you're his voice of reason.
"You can nap before the party. You deserve to relax after this stressful week" he says, stepping behind you to massage your shoulders to convince you further.
"You stress me every week, what's the real reason you want to go"
"I may have heard Aeri is going"
"We're still on that?"
"It hasn't been a week since I told you that and yes, I'm still into her. So what you do say?" he looks over your shoulder, meeting your eyes to look at you directly because he knows you can never say no this way to him.
"Why invite your bestfriend at a party you want to meet the girl you like?"
"Because"
"Because what??"
"Who would hype me up? I can already see myself chickening out, but if you're there then you can convince me"
You can only think of all the times you convinced him to do something stupid because when it comes to you, Mark can be pretty gullible. That makes you feel proud knowing he trust you but also that makes him an easy target for your pranks.
"Convince you to make a total fool of yourself? Hell yes I'm in"
A couple of hours later, Mark and you enter the party side by side. Already seeing a couple of familiar faces in the crowd.
You made your way through the crowd until you saw your other friends, "Finally, they show up" Haechan shouts, immediately passing a shot glass to you and then Mark
"To catch you up, we already started so you better get going" he tells the two of you, pushing the shot glasses towards your faces
"I'll have only one, and his also because he's driving tonight" you say taking the glass from Mark before he can say anything. Then you shoot your head back, drinking the shots simultaneously and earning cheers from the two boys. Mark already too distracted looking around hoping to spot the reason why he came here tonight.
"Damn woman, how are you not cuffed down yet?" Haechan jokes
"You're asking that when he's standing right here?" Jeno butts in, throwing an arm around Mark.
Of course they would bring that up whenever they can. Those two don't believe a boy and a girl can stay in a platonic relationship. Swearing you and Mark are meant for each other but too scared to admit it. The old but beloved bestfriends to lovers trope, Haechan calls it.
"He's only standing here at this party to cuff someone and that woman is not me, luckily. Have you seen Aeri?" you ask Haechan,
"I think I saw her talking to Dery outside" you then turn to Mark, dusting off his jacket for no reason. Just to boost his confidence, you think.
"Go do what we went out here for, and make it quick. If you don't get her number by the end of this night, I'm shaving your seagull eyebrows in your sleep. Got it?"
Mark chuckles at your empty threat, he knows you only said that to not make him nervous and it works everytime.
"Yes ma'am. For you, I'll be a taken man by the end of this month"
"Let's not get ahead of ourselves, you're hot but not that hot. Okay now go before they hand me another shot" then you're pushing him towards the direction of the backyard door.
Meanwhile, Haechan and Jeno watch the two of you like it's a live action drama happening infront of them where the two lead characters are bestfriends who swore they don't feel anything for eacth other only to end up together in the end.
"What the fuck was that?" Haechan ask after Mark walks off, turning to face the two boys
"What?"
"The sexual tension was killing me, you swear you two haven't kissed?" he asks back, you shake your head as an answer "No, we haven't and will never"
"I get that you guys are just bestfriends and swear it's nothing more than that, but did you just call him hot?" Jeno ask you
"Yes, I have eyes. I call them as I see them"
"And you say you're not into him?"
"Do I look like I'm into him?"
"Yes" they answer at the same time, shaking your head at them
"It's not like that, I already told you that. I've known Mark since we were kids. That's the same kid who looked like a chipmunk with glasses" you tell them
"More reason why you like him! You've him at his worst, not sure about his best but you're the one who's been there for him. It's the perfect plot for the most cliché love story" Haechan says dramatically
"I'm afraid this book is not how it ends, can you just pass me another shot"
That night ended in different ways, for starters you got so drunk you forgot how you got home. All you can remember was Haechan daring you to jump on the trampoline and do a back flip, you can't remember if you did it or not.
Mark's night however wasn't as exciting, yes he did get to talk to Aeri but nothing more than a few words. Not enough for her to peak interest in him, there was a bunch of other people with them so he couldn't exactly just talk to her and he didn't want to ruin the fun. So instead he found himself walking back ready to admit his defeat to you and accept his fate of having his eyebrows shaved only to find you on the grass laughing your ass off.
Turns out Haechan dared you to do a backflip but Jeno still had some of his common sense and tried to stop you, and by that he meant tackling you off the trampoline and down on the ground.
Mark helps you up from the ground, dusting your clothes to rid of the grass. Holding you by the arm while you sway on your feet clearly intoxicated.
"You're done for the night, no more leaving you alone with them" he tells you as if he was scolding a child
"Boo, you're no fun. Just say you're jealous" Haechan tells him, poking Mark's back
"Shush, don't tease him. Angry Mark is scary" you whisper shout, oh yess you're definitely drunk
"Let's get the three of you home, Jeno drag Haechan please"
And that's how it ended. Mark dropped the two boys first before he drove you back at your dorm.
"So how did it go?" you spoke all of a sudden, fighting the sleepiness off to do your duty as the nosy bestfriend
"Good"
"You didn't get her number did you?"
"Nope"
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It wasn't the last time Mark dragged you somewhere in hopes of finally talking to Aeri. And all the other attempts always end up a fail like the universe just doesn't want him to succeed.
He also has become a regular at the library where you spend most of your time when you're not with him. He may have heard that Aeri comes here sometimes so why not give it a shot. He prefers studying in his own room where he can blast music, while you prefer the quiet atmosphere here.
"It helps me focus" you tell him when he asked you why you liked studying here when you can just do it at the comfort of your own dorm or his.
"I'm going home for the weekend, by the way. Want to come?" Mark ask you, remembering his mom asking him to ask you.
"And you tell me only now when it's Saturday tomorrow?" you ask back
"I'll pick you up at 3am?"
"Minhyung, I'm going to kill you" that's a yes. He just smiles and give your cheek a pinch then turning his attention back to his laptop, since he's already might as well get some work done.
Like he said, he did show up at your doorstep at 3am. Handing him your bag for the weekend, eyes half closed face bare.
"Make this weekend worth my while, Min or I will seriously shave your brows this time" you threaten him
"Yea yea, I'll get you your favorite cookies back home"
While most people will stay up with the driver on a long trip, you where back to dreamland a few minutes after Mark drove off. He passed a hoodie and a blanket over to you and the next second you were out.
Instead of waking you up, Mark just turns on the music loud enough to keep him awake but low enough not to disturb your sleep. But really it doesn't matter, he can be playing Bohemian Rhapsody on full volume you'll still sleep through it.
When the of you arrived at Mark's childhood home, his mom was already waiting by the door. Her smile doubling as she sees you exiting the passenger side, "Y/N! I'm so glad you made it!" she says with open arms. You walk over to give her a hug.
She's like a mom to you, whenever your parent's went on holidays or work trips they would always leave you with Mark's parents. The two of you weren't kidding when you say you spent a lot of your childhood together.
"You two must be tired from the drive, why don't you eat breakfast then rest for a bit?" she tells you, when Mark walks towards the door his mom hugs him too.
"Sounds good, thank you"
"I made your favorite cookies by the way, Mark made sure I didn't forget" she tells you with a smile, "Really?" you asked excitedly, and Mark thinks it was worth bugging his mom over the phone last night.
It was a great way to detox from all the stress from university, the rest of the weekend you relaxed as much as you can. Slept in without a worry about anything, you only wish this weekend lasted longer.
"Mom, you need to let us go. We won't make it in time" Mark tells his mom who is too busy smothering him, you jsut smile at the mother-son interaction happening infront of you.
"You two have a safe drive back" his dad says, giving Mark a quick hug too.
"Don't be a stranger, I'll tell your parents you rested well this weekend" Mark's mom tells you, you thank her again before giving her one last hug and saying bye to his dad too.
"Can we just not go back to school?"
"We can, but then what would we do? and I can't leave the plants to Haechan, they will die" Mark says, that made you laugh
"Why though? something bothering you?" he adds
"Nothing, I just had fun this weekend. I haven't slept that good since I moved in my dorm" you tell him
"You're still having trouble with sleeping? I told you just call me, I can bore you to sleep"
"I'm sure but I'm not going to call you every night when I can't sleep"
"Nonsense, I already sleep late anyways"
You didn't mean to let your mind wander but for the first time ever in your history of friendship with Mark, you let your mind think would it be different if he wasn't just your friend. Haechan and Jeno's words echoing inside your head.
Mark's words just then made you think about it but then you shook those thoughts away quickly as they came.
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“Wait hold up, you two talk about that?”
“You haven’t?”
Haechan looks at you with disbelief, silently asking if you were being serious
"Yo Jeno! If i get bitten by a snake on my dong will you suck the venom out?" Haechan asks Jeno who just arrived. You're currently over at Haechan and Mark's place since you had to finish a project you were doing with Haechan, Jeno is just a regular visitor here.
"What the fuck? No" Jeno answered, confused with the context of his friend's question
"But like, it's an emergency" you say
"Still no, I'm sorry but you're dying my friend" Jeno tells Haechan
"Who's dying?" Mark asks, finally getting home from his last class. He knew you were here hence why he choose to order food on his way home.
"Jeno" you and Haechan answered at the same time
"Would you do it for him?" you weren't looking at Jeno so you didn't check if he was asking you or Haechan
"No..."
"I mean"
Jeno looks back and forth between you and Haechan, Mark is in the kitchen unboxing the food he got for the group.
"Y/N!? Is this what you two were talking about?" Jeno ask the two of you
"Talk about what?" Mark curiously asks, walking back to the living where the three of you were. Putting the chicken and pizza on the coffee table before taking a seat on the floor beside your legs.
"If you get bitten by a snake on your-"
"I'd rather not talk about it infront of your dinner, thank you very much" Haechan cuts you off
"I'd rather not have that image in my head" Jeno adds
"What?" Mark asks, you just shake your head and take the slice of pizza he just took a bit of
"Nothing, let's just say you're the only one not dying here" you answer him.
You and Haechan finished late. Before you go back to your dorm, you checked on Mark to see him also busy with something. Sitting hunched back on his desk,
"Your back will hurt, stop slouching" you tell him, walking towards where he was sitting
"You sound like me when I scold Haechan. You two done?" he ask, looking up at you
"Mhm, I should go it's late" it's past midnight already. Jeno went home after dinner while you and Haechan worked on your project. Mark was waiting for you finish so he can drive you back, when he thinks of something
"Why don't you just stay here for the night?" he asks you
"Huh?"
"Stay for the night, it's late and you probably will have hard time sleeping once you get home. You can borrow my clothes" he says, already walking towards his closet to grab you a pair of shirt and sweats for the night
"Do I have any say in this?" you ask
"Just say yes, Y/N. It's late, you're tired but you'll probably stay up all night if you go home now. If you stay here I can make sure you're going to get some sleep" Mark tell you, then hands you his shirt and sweats.
"Go change, I'll sleep on the couch"
When you got back from the bathroom now changed in Mark's clothes, he's still slumped over his desk. "You should call it a night, too. I can take the couch"
He turns his chair around to face you, shaking his head "Nonsense, go sleep I'll be done in like 5 minutes"
"Then just sleep here, there's enough room for the two of us. This is not the ending of titanic"
He chuckles at your statement, watching you get cozy under his covers. This made him want to call it a night and cuddle in with you, that very thought confused him in different ways.
One, it confused him how thinking about cuddling you seemed so natural. And two, it confused him how it wasn't weird at all. To him atleast.
He shoots you quick smile before turning back to his table to finish his work. More than five minutes passed when he finally finished, turning of his laptop and desk lamp before turning to check on you only to see you quietly scrolling on your phone.
"What did I say? Go to sleep, dummy"
"Was waiting for you, c'mere" you say while opening the blanket for him. He didn't even say no, he didn't say anything. It's like his body was on auto-pilot. Like you're the one in control. He didn't mind it one bit.
Mark turns off the lights first before settling beside you, he lays his head on the pillow beside yours. You send him a sleepy smile, mirroring your actions.
"You need to go to sleep, missy"
"I'm trying, believe me"
"What usually helps you sleep at night?" he ask, both of you were whispering even though no one would hear you in his room. It was past midnight, the only light coming from the lamppost outside his window.
"I cuddle something, usually my favorite pillow" you mumble, you'd be embarrassed to admit you still need to hug something when you go to sleep but you're talking to Mark. You didn't mind showing and telling him everything about you because you know he'd stay after everything.
"Cuddle me" he say without missing a beat. And for a couple of seconds the two of you just stare at each other, waiting for something. Maybe for the other person to say something.
"Uh I mean I don't want you to be uncomfortable, my head's a bit heavy" you tell but he just chuckles back at you, opening his arms as if inviting you to come to him if you wanted.
"My head's bigger than yours, come on. Your eyes are about to close, why are you fighting it"
"I'm not, it's my mind that won't shut up"
"Then don't think, just listen to me. I'll keep on talking or humming or something until you fall asleep" this time he pulls on your arm, making you move from one side of his bed over to him. Leaving you no choice but rest your head on his chest. His heart drumming under your ears, like your personal white noise machine.
"You're warm" you mumble, cuddling against his chest more because he feels warm. You've never cuddled like this before, why haven't you cuddled like this before?
Oh right, because friends don't do things like this. Once again, Haecha and Jeno's word bounce around your head. Making you question your feelings for your bestfriend.
"Can you relax? I can tell you're still thinking about something, just... listen to my breathing or something" he tells you, this time you feel his hand run through your hair making you more sleepy.
And you listen, listen to him. Listen to his heart. The loud thoughts in your head now just mere background noise. All forgotten.
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"I'm going to tell you something, but you're not allowed to tell me I told you so"
Jeno looks back at you confused. You popped out of nowhere, now taking the vacant seat in front of him.
"Uh okay"
"And you can't tell Haechan or Mark. Swear it" you tell him
"Okay, I swear. Are we scheming them or what?"
You opened your mouth to speak, repeating the action one two three times but the words can't seem to come out.
"I can't say it"
"Why? Did you run overe someone? Did you forget to water Mark's plants?" he ask again
"No, I didn't. It's not like that. I can't say it because I can't believe it myself and maybe it's not even real. Maybe I'm just confused or something. Maybe I'm sick, yeah I think I'm sick. Am I sick?" you ask him, pulling his hand to lay it on your forehead
"No, but you are starting to scare me."
"I'm starting to scare myself too!"
"Why???"
"Because I think I'm in love with my bestfriend"
That got the two of you quiet. You can't believe you just said that out loud, and now that it's out in the world you can't believe you might be inlove with your bestfriend, Mark. The guy you've known your whole life. The same guy you swore you will never see as someone who's more than a friend.
Jeno was also caught by surprise, he did expect it to happen at some point but he thought it would be Mark realizing it first before you. And he didn't think he'd be the first one to know. Now he has to hide this from Mark and worse, Haechan.
"There you two are, I was looking for you! I have some great news" Mark says, surprising you and Jeno. Sending him a look which he understood.
"What?" you ask, turning to look at Mark who's now sitting beside you.
"I finally got Aeri's number, and get this we're going out this Friday night" he says with the biggest smile on his face.
You didn't even hesitate, immediately shooting his a smile back. "No way, you finally grew the balls to do it. Who would've thought" you joke
"What did I say, I'll be cuffed down before this month ends. Now I just need your help to think about where I should take her, dude are you okay?" he asks Jeno, notiching the guy has not said a word since he arrived.
Mark wonders if he interrupted something, you did look like you were in the middle of a serious talk. You tried to cover it but he did notice the look on your face when he arrived. He didn't want to push it right now, leaving a mental note to ask you about it later instead.
"Me? Yeah totally. I just remember about this thing I forgot back at the library. I should go there and get it before someone else takes it"
"I'll go too, I need this book for my next exam" you say, already slinging your bag on your shoulder. Standing up from your seat.
"I'll see you later, bye" you tell Mark quickly before stalking away, leaving a confused Mark behind. He turns to the other guy also watching your retreating figure.
"Did something happen?" he ask Jeno, "Huh? No, I don't know. I'm gonna go. Bye hyung" Jeno smiles at him before waving goodbye, walking the same direction you went to.
That was the last time Mark saw you, after that you kind of went into hiding. Always coming up with an excuse to not see him: whether you're busy with another project, you're sick at home, you're on your period and too tired to leave your dorm. At this point you're running out of minor injuries to use as an excuse.
Friday came and went, you didn't have the strength to call him and ask him about the date. You really can't invest in his love life when you're having trouble with yours. Well technically yours is one sided.
You just got back from the cafe you found jus tthis week in your attempt to spend less time on campus since you know you're most likely to bump into Mark there. So instead you found a quaint cafe outside campus and made it your new study place. What you didn't expect though was to find your bestfriend standing outside your dorm room.
Mark heard footsteps coming down the hallway, looking up from his phone to see you standing on the other end. It's been almost 2 weeks since he last talked to you, apart from the few texts he received from you this has been the longest time he's been away from you.
"Hey, were you out?" he ask when you got to him
"Yeah, I was studying"
"I was at the library. but I couldn't find you" he tells you, right off the bat he could tell something was wrong. You won't even look him in the eye right now.
"I was studying some place else"
"Oh okay, is something wrong? Are you okay?" he ask again, now he's worried.
"Me? Yea no I'm fine. Just busy and tired" now that you mention it, he notices the dark circles under your eyes. You're still beautiful despite that, but he could tell you haven't had proper sleep probably a couple of days now.
"Have you been sleeping okay?"
"I'm good, why'd you ask?"
"Nothing, I'm just worried. You just said the other day you had a massive headache, you should get some rest. Did you eat dinner already? I can go grab some for us before you call it a night" he suggest, ready to run down the nearest restaurant but you shake your head at him
"I already ate, I think I'll just call it a night. I'm tired. I'll call you later" you tell him, opening the door to your dorm. Waving goodbye to him before closing it, leaving a very worried Mark on the other side.
Something is definitely up with you and he's not going to rest tonight until he figures it out. The last person he saw you with was Jeno, so he texts the younger guy asking his whereabouts. It turns out Jeno is over at his and Haechan's place.
He made his way back home, seeking for answers. When he got there, he calls for Jeno.
"What's up?" Jeno asks
"What happened between you and Y/N?"
"Huh?" Jeno asks back, confused. Meanwhile Haechan pauses the game him and Jeno were playing to join the conversation
"Did something happened?" Haechan asks
"Yea well the last time I saw her she was talking to Jeno, you two looked like you were having a serious conversation then she walks off. Then after that she's been avoiding me" Mark explains, arms flailing around. Clearly frustrated with the situation.
"Why did you say she's avoiding you? Maybe she's just busy?" Haechan asks again, "We took the CSAT's at the same time, believe me even if she's that busy she's not going to avoid me like this"
"And you're assuming that based off of that?"
"I just know something's wrong okay?! I just don't know what it is" Mark frustratedly says, voice rising a bit. Meanwhile Jeno stays quiet. He promised to keep quiet so that's what he's doing.
Haechan looks over at him, immediately he could tell Jeno knows something
"Speak, I can tell you're hiding something" Haechan tells him, Jeno just shakes his head
"Dude, what?? So you know something?" Mark says
"I promised not to tell, especially the two of you" Jeno finally speaks, "So she did say something??" Mark prods even further
"I can't say it, I swore to Y/N I won't"
"What can't you say to me and Mark hyung? Haechan's the one to ask this time, making the pieces fit together in his head. And when it did, it's like a light bulb turned on in his head.
"OH MY GOD!" Haechan says catching both boys' attention
"Haechan no!" Jeno says
"What what??" Maark says
Haechan looks back and forth between the two guys, then stopping at Mark. "I don't know either but I think I do"
"Then tell me!!!!"
"No! Because if what I think is right then you would want to hear this from Y/N" Haechan says, Jeno lets out the breath he was holding.
Mark couldn't wait another day to talk to you, even though he promised he'd let you rest first he can't just sleep tonight without knowing.
That's how he found himself standing outside your door again, ringing the doorbell thrice like he always would. When you opened the door, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes.
"Mark? Is everything okay?" you ask, confused why he'd be out here this time of the night
"Sorry for waking you up but I just can't sleep tonight knowing something's not right with us. Are we okay?" he ask you.
This was enough to fully wake you, opening the door for him fully to let him in. You wait until you're inside before you face him again,
"I just needed some time off, I guess" you tell him
"Why?"
"Well, you said you had a date with Aeri. I didn't want to get in between that, you can't be spending that much time with me once you get a girlfriend. I'm not going to be that kind of bestfriend, Mark"
Your explanation although very valid, did not make any sense to him. Because now when you say things like him getting a girlfriend, he don't see Aeri beside him or any other girl.
The only person he can picture beside him is you. The only person he wants to spend all his time with is you. The one he wants to take out on dates is you. When he went out on that date with Aeri, he did have a great time but the two of them thought they're better off as friends. He just never had the chance to tell you because you've been avoiding him.
"Well you don't have to worry about that, I'm not going out with Aeri"
"What?? why?? But you like her"
Now you feel guilty, wondering what could've went wrong and if you had something to do with it.
"I thought I did. I mean I like her, but only as a friend. Turns out we're better as buddies" he lets out a chuckle, watching your confused reaction
"You're still my bestfriend though, so will you tell me what's wrong?" he asks, taking careful steps towards you until he's an arm length away
"Like I said I didn't want to intrude"
"I don't think that's just it. Jeno said-"
"Jeno said what??? Oh my god I'm going to kill him"
He just smiles at you, this is the first time you said more that a few words to thim and the first time you sounded like the usual you.
"Actually he didn't say anything, then Haechan somehow figured it out and say I should hear it from you instead" he looks at you, observing your face. Committing every detail he's been looking at for years. This time with more adoration and love in his eyes.
"What's wrong with you?" you ask, noticing the way he's looking at you.
"Nothing, just thinking about something completely stupid" it's not stupid. He was thinking about all this time he didn't any other girl, he always have liked you but too scared to say something about it. So instead he searched for something similar.
But of course no one could even come close. There's after all, only one of you for him.
"What?"
"You tell me first what Haechan and Jeno know then I'll tell you"
Now that he's the one asking, you're not sure how to get out of this one. He got you cornered with no place to go.
"I'll tell you but you have to promise me if it ever gets awkward after this you'll still be my bestfriend" you tell him,
"Of course"
Instead of telling him in words, it's like a higher power possessed you. Standing on your tiptoe, resting both hands on his shoulder. Pressing your lips flat against his.
You can tell just how shocked he was, frozen in his place. Your blood runs cold thinking you just ruined your friendship forever but then you feel his arms snake around your waist pulling you closer towards him. Mark tilts his head a bit to the side, deepening the kiss. Smiling against your lips, he can taste the strawberry flavored chapstick you always use.
This should feel weird and foreign to the both of you, but no. This moment feels so right. Being in each other's arms makes so much sense, like this was how it should've been all along.
Mark takes a few steps forward making you walk back until your back is against the door, still lips attached together. Eventually the two of you had to break apart to take a breath, your eyes still closed you feel him kiss your lids then your nose then he kisses you on your jaw down the side of your neck. Leaning your head on the side to give him more space because right now his lips feel so good against your skin you just wanted more.
He gives you a few more kisses before leaning away to look at you with that lovestruck look on his face.
"I know this might seem a bit too fast but a decade worth of memory with you seems enough, can I be your boyfriend?"
This time you kiss him again, shorter this time though so you can give him your answer "Of course, who else would I make more memories with. Plus I love your mom too much"
Mark smiles at your words, finally finally all the pieces fall into place. Finally he got the girl.
"What did I say, told you I'd be a cuffed man"
"Shut up and just kiss me"
"Yes ma'am
319 notes · View notes
lunar-years · 1 year
Text
'Tis the Damn Season
Pairings: Jonathan Byers/Nancy Wheeler, Nancy Wheeler & Robin Buckley friendship, just generally super indulgent teen group friendship, very minor & extremely background Robin Buckley/Vicky
Rating: T (for discussions of teenagers having sex [non-explicit]; mild language; minor references to PTSD)
Summary: “You really did sound like a total nut on the phone earlier, Nance; 'Code red, code red.' I thought you’d seen Vecna reincarnated behind your house or something—” 
Worse. "I slept with my ex," Nancy burst out. //
Jonathan and Nancy mutually decide to break up before going off to their separate colleges. It lasts for all of three months.
Written for @jancyweek2022 Day 4: I'll always come back to you or partners in crime
Read below or on Ao3.
A/N: Just a warning because I know some of my fellow jancys are not big Steve and Robin people...this one is heavy on the teen group friendship (especially between Nancy & Robin). It's written in a very author indulgent, idealized way, as I imagine them all becoming closer during and post s5 while defeating Vecna. In my mind, by the time they all go off to college they've fallen into the kind of friendship where they're not ~best friends~ by any means, but they are bonded by this massive thing they all experienced together, and as a result they do like to catch up with each other when they're all back in town.
This is supposed to be a silly fic (sillier than I usually write anyway) and not taken super seriously. I do not think Jonathan and Nancy will actually break up (I hope not!), but if they do, I can't imagine them staying away from one another long. Also, this is sooo not polished and editing might be bleak because I wrote most of it this evening. I still hope you enjoy and happy jancy week!
***
“So what’s up?” Robin asked her over the top of her glass, one hand casually twirling the straw around her Diet Coke with, Nancy thought, not nearly enough urgency for the situation at hand.
The women were sitting on opposite sides of what had become, over the previous summer, their usual table at the Hawkins Diner, a table which actually had seats for six. It was only the two of them at the moment, however, because Nancy had phoned Robin earlier during an episode of near-panic to declare a state of emergency. This, essentially, had meant begging Robin to come to the diner an hour earlier than she’d told everyone else to. 
Now that Nancy had the woman here in front of her though, she realized she was at a total loss for how to begin. For one, they hadn’t seen each other since the summer, and things were more than a little different now than back then, still on edge as they'd all been from the battle, forming their tentative friendships when there were no more monsters to kill. Nancy liked keeping in touch with her friends, and she tried to make an effort, she did, but she’d also been so busy at school lately that they’d barely even spoken over the phone in the months intervening.
Robin seemed far more relaxed now that the fight was behind her. Happier. Probably, before Nancy started dumping out all her own problems, she should at least ask her how she’s been. Exchange pleasantries. She racked her brain for ideas, but it didn’t seem to be functioning all that well at the moment, because she only managed to comes up with: “Um. How’s school treating you?” God, she sounded like her dad. And just when she thought things couldn't get any worse.
Robin’s eyes narrowed critically, like Nancy had asked her to go back into the Upside Down without a flamethrower, alone, instead of tell her about Purdue. “Nanceeee. C’mon, I did not drop everything, cut into the very limited time I have with my girlfriend while we’re both home on one of our very few breaks from school and run over to this greasy, horrible diner just for this completely flat Diet Coke and some boring conversation with my good friend Nancy about...college. You sounded like you were about to pass out earlier—I mean, no offense. So what’s really up?”
Nancy opened her mouth to say something. Immediately closed it again like she was a fish. It was easy, once she'd been away from it for a while, to forget how...much...Robin could be. She gave herself a mental shake. “Um. Right. Sorry.” 
“Okay, you are being so weird right now,” Robin declared, taking another long sip of her drink and narrowing her eyes still further. There was actual concern on her face, now, which did feel like progression. “You really did sound like a total nut on the phone earlier, Nance. 'Code red, code red.' I thought you’d seen Vecna reincarnated behind your house or something—” 
Worse. “I slept with my ex.” Nancy burst out, refusing to look up from her cup of coffee. Saying it out loud, she almost wished she had seen Vecna. Believe it or not, she was pretty sure she'd have been better prepared for that than she'd been for seeing Jonathan. Robin set down her glass.
“Jesus, Nancy…you haven’t even been home forty-eight hours!” 
“Trust me, I know,” Nancy said miserably, not elaborating. She'd drove into Hawkins from Boston just yesterday morning. By yesterday evening, he was in her bed. Clearly, it hadn't taken much. 
“So, wait. Hold on. Which ex are we talking about here?” 
“What do you mean which one? Which one do you think?” Her voice had gone high-pitched, most definitely frantic. Nancy was still very much in the processing stage of this whole experience. She finally looked up to see Robin’s face. The other woman was indeed frowning, but she looked more exasperated than actually disappointed with her, which Nancy took as a good sign. She'd kind of been expecting...well, judgement.
“Oh, thank god. Because if Steve hadn’t immediately called me to tell me he'd made that mistake again, I’d’ve—”
“Robin,” Nancy all but hissed, whipping her head around the diner to make sure there was no one else listening. She so did not want any of this getting back to her mother.  “Can we please focus?”
“Right sorry, sorry. But really Nancy?" she repeated, "Also, didn’t you just break up with Jonathan like, three months ago?” 
“It was mutual,” Nancy replied sharply. “We broke up with each other.” 
Robin shook her head. “Yeah, and I still don’t get that, by the way. I mean, by the way you were all over each other last July...like, there's a literal, honest-to-god monster-demon-man on his way to kill us all and you two are making out in the corner—” 
“Okay, that's not fair,” Nancy bristled, crossing her arms. “You were every bit as bad. Or did you not 'pop off to the cabin to get more weapons’ just so you could make out with Vicky in the car.” 
“Yes,” she said smugly, taking this in stride, “but I didn’t break up with her a month later for no apparent reason!" 
“We had reasons! Jonathan told me about NYU, and then he got in—which wasn’t surprising, by the way, Jonathan’s photos are really amazing—but then next thing we knew, he was going to New York, and I was off to Boston—” 
“Stupid reason, New York and Boston are only four hours away.” 
“--and we weren’t very good at long distance the first time.” Nancy argued, determined to make Robin see what she had, that day in August with Jonathan in her driveway. The breakup had been logical, even necessary. They simply agreed they couldn’t do long distance again.
(Nancy hadn't been good with long distance, true. But she'd failed to consider that she'd never been very good without him entirely, either.) She quickly brushed that thought aside.
“You’re not convincing me,” Robin said bluntly. She waved their waitress over and ordered a plate of cheese fries. After the woman bustled back over to the kitchen, Nancy glanced at the old clock hanging behind the lunch counter. The others usually showed up early (if Jonathan was still planning to show up at all), which meant someone would be here soon. 
“We agreed,” Nancy repeated, even though she was beginning to lose steam. “We agreed it would be for the best to go our separate ways, experience new people….” Her voice sounded so unsure that it wasn't even doing much in way of convincing herself they’d made the right choice. Jonathan’s mouth on her last night, anyway, had certainly said otherwise. She flushed at the recollection, once again refusing to meet Robin’s eyes. 
Still, Robin pushed on. “And, have you?"
“Have I what?” 
“You know,” Robin waved her hands around nonsensically, "experienced new people?" Not for the first time today, Nancy felt that familiar mix of fondness and exasperation she'd felt many times before around Robin.  
She'd been at school for just over three months now. In that time, though she didn’t want to admit it to Robin, she'd actually experienced very little beyond the inside of Emerson College’s library. Sure, she had her few, steady friends—her roommate Gale, their friend Peggy down the hall—but mostly they studied together or watched movies. Every now and then, they found some house party to disappear to on the weekends for purposes of free alcohol, but they’d always left together and come home together, even on the night Peggy spent two beers insisting to her that the frat boy across the room had eyes for Nancy, and Gale all but dared her to go talk to him. 
She hadn’t. She had taken one look at the boy—tall, with dark, curly hair, and a wide, cheesy smile—and dismissed him. He wasn’t Jonathan. 
“No,” she answered truthfully, “I haven’t.”
The transition, if she was forced to admit it under extreme duress, had been far harder than she'd anticipated. Nancy had spent all summer in Hawkins shooting her guns, planning and organizing and executing her careful, calculated plan to kill Vecna with Jonathan and Robin and the others, only to leave in August for the world of the shockingly mundane. She liked her classes. She liked her friends. Her parents kept saying how proud they were of her. On the surface, she was still the golden one.
Underneath, though, it often felt like she was drowning. Her new friends were great, yes, but they didn’t know about anything she’d been through, how could they? Gale and Peggy joked about high school in ways that made Nancy equal parts envious and annoyed. The two of them lived life so easily. They had no idea how much it had tormented Nancy to leave her guns behind in Hawkins, the fear that gripped her night after night that she would have no way to protect herself, the next time. 'The next time' still felt inevitable, somehow. How could it not? Fighting the supernatural had occupied every ounce of her being for years. In recent weeks, even journalism, which was usually her safe haven, had lost its flair.
Nancy never, in a million years, thought she’d miss Hawkins, Indiana. But Nancy did miss home. 
Him.
At school, she still called him on the nights she woke up from nightmares. Jonathan had insisted she could, before they had departed for the last time in her parent's driveway, and Nancy was beyond grateful for that. Sometimes she called him when she didn’t even have a nightmare, just to talk about stupid things like an article she was writing for class or a song she had heard that made her think of him. 
Robin waved a hand in front of her, snapping Nancy's eyes back to her, "Um, earth to Nancy?” 
Nancy tried to regain her own focus. "Sorry."
"Man, you really do have it bad."
“I need your advice," Nancy admitted, tentative. She wasn't really sure her and Robin were quite at this point of their friendship yet. On the one hand, they knew everything about the other, like the song that could save them from a soulless, demonic creature and what they'd bring to a monster fight, and the sort of things you could only whisper about on nights when you thought you were about to die. On the other hand, telling her about Jonathan, about this fragile thing happening between them that she wanted to protect but was already afraid she'd ruined, almost felt too personal.
Robin remained silent, but she must have seen something in Nancy's face, because she eventually said, "Sorry, sorry, I'm thinking." She frowned, "It's just, considering I’ve only been in one real relationship—and besides having to pretend we are just two, completely platonic girlfriends every time we go out in public together, instead of you know, actual girlfriends, and only being able to make-out on Wednesday nights at her house between 8:00 and 10:00 p.m. while her parents are at bowling club—we are very happy together, I do not think I am the best person to be giving post-breakup, slept-with-my-ex relationship advice.”
“Sure, but you still have an opinion,” Nancy said, a little desperately. "Please, you've got to have something." Truthfully, she wanted Robin to tell her what to do here. She wanted someone else to have all the answers so that for once she could stop the myriad of thoughts ping-ponging around in her head at all hours. Her mind hadn’t stopped spinning since Jonathan rolled out of her bed early that morning and disappeared out her childhood bedroom window, the same thing he used to do when they were together for real. 
Robin bit her lip. “Okay, I guess…I need more information. Tell me about the sex. Ew, wait, I don’t mean that. Not like…details. Just, do you think it was a usual, post-breakup sex thing? Just to get it out of your system, or…was it more than that?” 
“I'm still in love him,” Nancy stated plainly, without even needing to think it through. It was so obvious. Didn't Robin see that was the whole problem?
The woman threw her hands into the air, and beneath the table, even stomped her foot for good measure. “Well there’s your answer! For someone so totally genius 90% of the time, you can be so goddamn clueless, Nancy. Why do you even need my advice if you already know you love him. Can’t you just, I dunno, get back together?" She grinned. "What do you do, sit at your dorm every Friday night alone, dreaming about him?”
“It’s not that simple!” 
Robin stared back at her blankly. “I will never understand you two.” The waitress returned then with the fry plate, which Robin immediately doused in ketchup. She offered it up to Nancy, who shook her head. “More for me, then.” 
They said nothing for a minute, Nancy watching as Robin ate her fries. Then, maybe because Nancy was still so totally out of it or maybe because he really was stealthy like a ninja after all, Steve materialized out of seemingly nowhere and plopped into the seat beside Robin. He grabbed the entire, disgustingly ketchup-covered plate of fries out of his best friend’s hands and nodded at Nancy by way of greeting. 
“Yeah, you’re moving when Vicky gets here,” said Robin. 
Steve rolled his eyes. “God, Rob, you’re such a drama queen. I’ll be more than happy to move once Her Highness arrives.” He turned to Nancy, “You should hear the way this one talks about her. Vicky is so cool, Vicky is so smart, Vicky’s the best kisser—”
Robin slapped him on the shoulder. 
“Hey! I’m saying that with love." He grinned. "It’s honestly adorable.” 
“Okay, we’re so not talking about my love life right now. Actually, we’re talking about Nancy’s.” Nancy shot her a look—warningly, threateningly—a look which she was sure could kill, but Robin, naturally, ignored it, plunging onward, “She slept with Jonathan.” 
“Shit, really?” Steve dropped the fry in his hand. Robin had already stolen the plate back from him, so it landed right on the tabletop, dripping ketchup onto the laminate. He did not try to mop it away, too busy looking over at her, gaping. 
Nancy frowned at him. Steve had fallen in love with her and then subsequently gotten over her about three different times at this point, and it was starting to get irritating. If he was really upset by her sleeping with someone else, now of all times, when they were finally in a good place, all genuinely friends, she—
But then Steve turned back to Robin and said dejectedly, “I owe Dustin five dollars. Shit.”
It was Nancy's turn to gape. “You’re serious? You actually made bets about Jonathan and I? With the kids?”
"I lost bets," Steve corrected. "Also, and I know you’ve been gone and all, Nancy, but it hasn’t been that long, they’re not actually kids anymore. They weren't when you left. Hey!” he says brightly, clearly pleased with himself, “I bet they’re the same age now that you were the first time you and Jonathan—” 
“Stop talking,” Robin groaned. Nancy could only shake her head at him in disgust. Okay, so maybe she hadn’t missed her Hawkins friends after all.
“Sorry, sorry! It had to be said. Anyway, how’d it happen, Wheeler? Haven’t you been home for like, an hour?” 
“Since yesterday." Robin had already spilled out the whole secret, so she might as well tell Steve everything, too. “I got home, and I was having an excruciating dinner with my parents—” 
“Yeah, I don’t miss those,” Steve announced. "Your dad is worse than mine." Robin slapped his arm again. 
“Shut up dingus, I want to hear the whole thing before Jonathan shows up."
Nancy took a careful sip of her coffee, which had mostly gone cold, and looked between them, crestfallen. “Well, that’s just it, isn’t it? I’m not sure he’s even going to come, after...well.” 
She’d pulled into her driveway, unloaded her bags and hauled them inside, with no help from Mike even though he was standing right there. Then Nancy had dutifully sat down at the dinner table with her family, answering her mother’s incessant questions about school as her dad nodded along from the head of the table. At the first opportunity, she escaped upstairs to her old room, which looked just the same as when she’d left it three months ago, despite her father’s many threats over the phone to turn it into a home office. 
She’d kept herself busy at first, unpacking, turning on the radio, answering a call from Robin to arrange a reunion dinner at the diner with the rest of the gang. But once she stopped moving, she’d almost immediately wanted to cry.
Her childhood room, with the ballerina music box from her grandmother still on the shelf, and the photo strip with Barb above her desk, and her poster from Jonathan on the wall, felt unbearable. Stifling.
She’d dialed his number without thinking it through.
“But I was just planning to talk,” she insisted. Robin and Steve exchanged a look. 
They had talked, for well over an hour. He had gotten in two days before, because most of his midterms weren’t tests, but photo collections, which meant he got to leave a few days earlier than most everyone else. He'd spent his day decorating gingerbread cookies with Will and El, who of course had been thrilled to see him. He sounded so happy, and it had made something in Nancy’s chest coil with a deep, persistent ache. 
When he asked her if she wanted to go for a drive, who was she to say no? 
That’s how they’d ended up at their old spot, parked out by lover’s lake, passing a bottle of wine back and forth between them. They used to go there all the time, the summer they worked at the newspaper. It was a great place for stargazing, and for passing secrets, and for other things, too.
It had started out innocently enough. One minute they were laughing, the first really good laugh she’d had in months, the kind where you couldn’t just stop, even after it had become difficult to breathe. The next, his face was right in front of hers, so close she could see the small indentation on his nose and the wisps of hair on his cheeks. So close she could feel his breath. “You need to shave,” she’d whispered, eyes never leaving his. 
Then they were kissing, as simple and familiar a motion as brushing her hair or writing her name. His lips felt just like she remembered, and she tasted him hungrily, starving for it, their tongues fighting for dominance, fighting to hold on to a little more of the other. God, she had missed him, missed him so much, beyond words, beyond meaning.
 On the hood of his car, his fingers found hers and held fast. 
“And then, I don't know it just...happened,” Nancy finished weakly. 
Robin and Steve stared at her until she was starting to feel actually self-conscious. Then Steve cut in, “Wait, wait. You did it in his car? God, you really are in love with him. I’m way too old for that shit.” 
“You know, I think it’s romantic,” Vicky said, her own hand meeting Robin’s over those damned fries. She’d arrived somewhere halfway through the story, and sure enough, Robin had immediately made Steve scoot. "You guys are apart for months, only to not be able to resist each other the first time you're together again. It's like...soulmates."
Robin held up a hand. “So what’s the deal then, Nance? Because, honestly, this hardly sounds like a code red, code red. Vicky's right, it sounds like you were both all over each other. You had your tongue down his throat, he had his down yours…why wouldn't he show up today?” 
“Because I kicked him out,” Nancy said miserably. She wished the waitress would come back. Her coffee mug had been empty for twenty minutes, and her throat felt terribly dry.
“Okay, I’m officially confused.” Steve.
“I don’t know what happened,” Nancy admitted. “Well, I obviously know what happened, but...well, after, I invited him over. We went back to mine, and it was brilliant and then…I guess I just freaked.” 
She’d pulled away from him for air, still straddling his legs, and suddenly been consumed by an unquenchable, overwhelming panic. She'd spoken without thinking, "What are we doing?"
Then, "We…we shouldn’t be doing this."
Then, "I'm sorry. You should go."
Jonathan had looked suitably startled, but he'd left without putting up any kind of fight. And when he'd jumped down from her window, he hadn't looked back
Nancy put her heads in her hands, elbows on the sticky, ketchup-gooped tabletop and all. “I didn’t mean it!” she said desolately. Someone, probably Vicky, reached over to pat her on the shoulder.
“You should just talk to him Nancy, I’m sure he’ll understand,” said Robin. "C'mon, this is Jonathan we're talking about."
"Yeah. Jonathan will hear you out."
They didn’t have a chance to say more, though, because then Jonathan himself showed up, wearing a flannel and jeans and looking like he hadn't slept a wink since he'd snuck out of her window. Nancy’s shoulders slumped with relief. 
“Hey,” he said awkwardly, waving at the group. He took the seat next to Nancy, probably because leaving am empty chair unexplainably in between them would be even more uncomfortable than sitting next to his ex the day after post-breakup sex. Nancy plastered on her best smile and hoped it didn’t look noticeably strained. “Sorry I’m late.” 
“No problem,” Robin said brightly, beaming at him in a way that was completely , obviously exaggerated. “We had a lot to catch up on with Nance!” Inside, Nancy groaned. This meal was already shaping up to be more excruciating than the one with her parents last night, and that said something. 
Vicky, bless her, cleared her throat. “Um, now that we’re all here, should we order?” 
They made it through their dinner and an additional plate of cheese fries before things started to get really awkward. Steve kept looking from Jonathan to Nancy and back again, very unsubtly, and every one of Robin’s forced, small talk questions sounded like she was rehearsing them off of a bad script. Robin was not a good actor.
Finally, Jonathan set down his fork and said, “So all of you know then?” 
The three musketeers on the opposite side of the table immediately started insisting otherwise—loudly and very poorly. Nancy did appreciate their efforts, truly, but she wasn't worth it. “Yes,” she said, turning to Jonathan, “I told them. I’m sorry, I had to tell someone—” 
They looked at each other for a long, unbreakable moment.
“Can we, um, can we talk?” This time, it was clear he was saying it just to her. 
Outside, in the chilled snowy air of downtown Hawkins in mid-December, all of the buildings in town had already turned their Christmas lights on. The effect was a rainbow array of colors, reflecting off the white snow collecting on the ground. A perfect, crisp winter evening. Nancy pulled on the sleeves of her coat and looked at her ex-boyfriend, really looked at him.
Even after all this time knowing him, Jonathan could still be hard to read sometimes. She was afraid he'd be mad at her for spilling the beans to the others, or worse, for how she'd treated him the night before, like he was just a good time, a passing phase. Like she didn’t still look at him and think about forever. 
He had his arms tight against his sides tonight, almost rigid. But he didn't look angry. If Nancy had to guess, she’d say he was determined. 
At the same time, they opened their mouths and echoed, “I’m sorry.” 
Nancy laughed. “You’re sorry? For what?” 
Jonathan instantly looked more relaxed now that he’d said it. One of his hands reached up to scratch the back of his neck, a familiar nervous habit. He continued to stare at her in that soft, penetrating way of his. Like he could see into all of her secrets. “Last night. I need you to know that I didn’t invite you out just so we could…” 
“Me neither,” Nancy hastened to say. “And I shouldn’t have made you leave like that, so...sudden. I was having a really great time. The best, actually. I guess I just….” 
“Panicked?” She nodded. “Yeah, me too.” He paused, reaching out a hand. An invitation. Nancy took it.
They hadn’t moved far away from the diner, and she had to believe the others were watching them through the windows, but she didn’t care one lick. Jonathan wasn't wearing gloves, but his skin still felt warm. “Nancy, I know we said breaking up was for the best, and I really tried to believe it, at the time, I did. But, last night, I…. I’ve missed you so much.” 
“Me too,” she breathed. This moment felt important, definitive. The same way it felt when she'd stood up to call after him that night in Murray Bauman's spare room, when she'd opened the door to find him waiting for her on the other side, and he'd kissed her for the very first time. “Last night, I panicked because I still love you. I never stopped. Sometimes, I’m afraid of how much I do.”
She was close to tears again, but she didn’t quite know why. “I think that’s why I wanted to break up in the first place,” she continued, eyes wet. “We really were bad at long distance the first time, and I thought…I thought it’d be easier to just let you go. Then I wouldn’t have to worry so much about losing you all the time, because I’d already have lost you so it wouldn't matter.” She pulled her hand away from his to angrily swipe away her tears. She was too determined to say this and didn't want to say it through tears. “I know it sounds so stupid, and I was wrong to do that to you, and—”
“It doesn’t sound stupid.” Jonathan took back her hand. “Nancy, I still love you too. I never stopped.”  
Then, for the second time in just as many days, they were crashing against one another, as desperately as if they’d crumble into a million pieces otherwise, like the only thing keeping them afloat was the other’s arms. 
Nancy kissed him and kissed him and didn't want it to ever end, even if that meant standing out in the cold so long it gave them both frostbite. The lights off of the snow flickered. A passing car honked.
Even if she got cold, Jonathan would warm her up soon enough.
This was her home, she realized. Not school, not even Hawkins. Even once he went back to NYU, and her to Emerson—she’d have this to fall back on. She’d have him. Home.
When they finally broke away—minutes or hours later, Nancy can’t be sure—she suddenly remembered where it was they were doing this, and turned back to look at the diner. Sure enough, she could see Robin, Steve and Vicky through the glass, watching them. All three of them were grinning. Robin waved at them. Steve appeared to be wolf-whistling.
Beside her, Jonathan started to laugh. 
It was still the sweetest sound she had ever known. 
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iwannawritelots · 2 years
Text
£uc!f€r
Originally written April 2022
Masterlist
Ship(s): Lucifer X MC
(genderless MC)
Trigger/content warnings: trauma depictions, guilt
Headcanons/notes from the author: I think I intended on continuing this…? Didn’t happen. Might rewrite or something though. SEASON 2 (PAST LESSON 38) SPOILERS; written under the assumption that Lucifer didn’t get his memories back.
Brief Blurb: (Spoilers) Lucifer cannot recall what caused his nightmares.
A dark, bare room, cold and uninviting, which Lucifer sat in the middle of. The candles gave little light, and he could barely see his own hands when he held them up to his face. A price he was willing to pay… for whatever it was. He couldn’t name it, despite it being on the tip of his tongue. A guilt that drenched his very being as he curled into himself with every panicked breath.
Why was he so… unsettled? Surely he had a reason… he was Lucifer, after all. The morning star, the one humans believed ruled over demons.
Then he heard it, the screams he once heard in not fearful context. He was used to the screaming and shrieking; from day one, they were of a joyful tone… an indicator of fun, child’s play. This was the new norm. Agony coated, shrill screaming and sobbing; no matter how much he tried, all he could do was make it worse. When did he try to make it better? His head felt fuzzy…
Lucifer gasped and clawed at his sheets as he woke. Tears were already sliding down his face as he coughed and choked on his saliva. His body hurt, and his head spun so violently he felt like vomiting. Another dream that he couldn’t understand had brought him to consciousness. “Lucifer?” He startled, whipping his head around to find the source of your voice. “Lucifer, it’s alright. Just listen to my voice,” you cooed, sitting up on your side of the bed. “Was it another nightmare, love?”
The avatar of pride didn’t respond, opting instead to hide in your chest and cover his ears. The screaming had followed him into reality, which often happened, much to his dismay. You very carefully adjusted his body to be in a more comfortable position before placing your hands over his own, hoping it was helping ground him. He soon began to sob, whimpering apologies that you couldn’t comprehend.
Ever since Simeon had placed the ring of light on your finger, Lucifer’s amnesia seemed to worsen. He often forgot more than he initially had, but at the same time he still felt comfort being around you. It didn’t take very long for his insomnia to become apparent. You insisted that you accompany him at night, after Mammon pointed out that Lucifer allowed himself to nap on the couch with you around.
Despite your presence, the nightmares did not cease. Lucifer couldn’t remember many things, but his brain still tortured him as he slept. He had become more like his old self, being gentle with his brothers, letting himself ramble, openly expressing his feelings… but at a price. He could never have a peaceful slumber.
Lucifer had cried for a long while before he finally fell back asleep. You held him still, petting his hair and humming a human world lullaby. If it weren’t for you, he probably would never sleep again. The thought made your stomach twist, wondering what would have happened if you weren’t in a relationship with him. Who else would he have found comfort in?
After a while, he began panicking in his sleep again, and you gently blew on his face until he awoke once more. “Lucifer, maybe we should go do something for a little bit.”
“I’m keeping you up… I’m sorry…” he muttered, red with humiliation. “I’m an awful partner.” You hushed him and brushed his hair out of his face. “_____… I’ve caused you so many problems…”
Sighing, you shook your head and kissed his temple. “That’s not the case. Just relax for me, darling.” You ran your fingers through his hair, using your other hand to hold one of his. “Was it like the one last night?”
He exhaled long and sniffled, then buried his face into your shoulder. “Yes, it was.”
“I’m sorry. Maybe we can talk to someone about making it stop.”
“No… I probably deserve it.” Lucifer wrapped your hand in both of his. “I’m without memory of whatever I did to deserve it, but I’m sure I do.”
“Lucifer—” You cut yourself off when you realized he was crying again. “Lucifer, you can’t keep this up.”
A long pause stretched between the both of you. “I know…”
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greenninjagal-blog · 4 years
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Deja vu pt2
Wow, I did not expect this to get the following that it did. I’m so glad you guys are enjoying this! Here’s part 2  But if you missed part 1 you can find it [here]! 
Summary: Four years after Remus runs away, he makes a friend and gets to see even more death.
Words: 5293
Read on Ao3 || My general writing Masterlist
Remus spends his twenty first birthday at his favorite location: The Basilisk Casino. Its a nice place, the type of place that drains life forces with people along with their wallets. The golden walls shimmer like scales if you look too long at them, which is all the more reason to focus back on the dice, the slots, the chips and coins and cards. The coins all have snarling snakes on them and Remus just loves rolling his thumb over the crevices of the design while he watches his opponents sweat. He can’t count the number of times he’s been cursed out at the table, the number of times he’s been checked for bugs by the debugging crew, the number of times that he’s had several dealers and security watch him as he played at the tables, the number of times where he cashed in his coins and called himself “Lucky”. 
Luck, of course, has nothing to do with it.
But he usually walks out of the casino several thousand dollars richer and it’s nice. To have money, to have a room in the upstairs hotel that he paid for himself, to have clothes that he picked out, to wave his excess cash in the faces of every person who’s tried to figure out how he’s cheating.
(Because they all know he’s cheating. One doesn’t go a full night at the tables without losing once. It's actually impossible.)
((Unless, of course, you can see the future.))
Remus is twenty one and he’s never lost a game of cards.
The staff has mixed feelings about him and Remus knows this, because they hate cheaters when it reflects badly back on them-- and boy did a lot of them get yelled at those first three weeks before Remus had asked his poor dealer to invite her boss to the table to play-- but the number of cheaters that Remus outed purely for the fun of seeing their eyes go wide has landed him in the good graces of a few.
Which is weird, being in the good graces of people. And so is knowing that if he finds that one cute dealer with the scar on his knuckles, they’d go up to Remus’s room and they’d spend the night with two bottles of Baileys and no clothes.
“Hit” Remus sings as he knocks on the table behind his cards. His dealer, a girl who’s been working for a while and knows his tendency to give her instructions before she’s finished dealing to everyone at the table, nods to show she’s seen him. The players to his left and his right both glare at him.
Remus smiles, because he already knows what cards they’ve got and what they were going to bet now that he’s announced himself: the old guy with the silver watch was going to stand, the loser with the mullet was going to hit as well, and the woman who’s tag was sticking out was going to hit then split. 
Only that old guy was going to walk away with any money earned, four rounds later, after the lady loses everything she made in a risky gamble and the slots catch Mullet head attention.
Remus stays because he likes Blackjack, likes the easy memorization, likes the repetition and the exchange of chips, and he flips one of his Barneys in the air as he waits for the table to refill. 
“That’s certainly impressive,” A voice says sounding like silk even over the chattering of the slot machines to their backs. 
“This? Its nothing!” Remus flips the coin again, letting the stranger catch it in the air. “I’m more impressive in the bedroom.”
The man hums, twisting his wrist to look at the coin he caught. “Do you often let people steal 500 American dollars from you?” The man asks so very teasingly as he rolls the coin between his own gloved hands. 
“You’re going to give it back,” Remus says with a grin, “One way or another!”
The man has a nice smile-- a smile far nicer than the one the dealer with the scar on his knuckles has-- and its prettier in the present time than looking at it in the future. His teeth are all aligned and straight and his molars grind together just enough to look like a threat. He was dressed better than most of the people out tonight: no fancy tourist with rented suits that barely fit, and he had an actual handkerchief. 
Remus wonders if he pulled it out would it be tied to another and another and another like every other clown he’s met? 
--No. The man just laughs at him and and twirls the Barney between his hands.He does not ask for it back.--
“You’re awfully confident about getting your money back when this is a game between the house and I,” the man says. He’s got green eyes, and black hair that’s gelled right back out of his face. The way he leans against the table makes him so easy to push--
--The man hits the ground spilling his rack of chips and the nearby tables pounce on them like panthers. Its honestly funny to watch and Remus laughs the entire time as the police are called.--
“I’m confident about a lot of things,” Remus wiggles an eyebrow at him. “How confident are you?”
Instead of answering the man places the purple coin in the betting square on the table. Remus tosses a pumpkin just to top him. 
“I heard a rumor that there’s a man here who’s never lost a game before,” The man with the green eyes says and even though there are four other people at the table (betting far lower than them of course; the table minimum is twenty five), Remus feels almost as if its just the two of them in the world. “Can I assume that man is you?”
“You know what they say about assuming,” Remus laughs as the dealer begins her deal, “It makes an ass out of me and you!” 
There’s a four of spades in front of him, and an ace of clubs in front of the stranger. The dealer has a five of diamonds. 
--He hits and receives a King of diamonds that puts him at fourteen. The stranger also hits, and receives a matching King of diamonds. He stands and the dealer reveals her second card: a jack of clubs. Fifteen to Fourteen to the house.--
--He hits and receives a King of diamonds that puts him at fourteen. The stranger also hits, and receives a matching King of diamonds. He hits a second time and receives a three of clubs. The dealer reveals here second card: a jack of clubs. Seventeen to fourteen to Remus--
The stranger is watching him, Remus notes with a feral grin as he taps the table behind his cards for their lovely dealer. The stranger who was betting using Remus’s money, scans the table and then taps as well.
The dealer gives Remus and Dee their matching Kings of diamonds.
“What are the chances,” The stranger muses. “Perhaps I should bet with your money more often.”
Remus taps the edge of the table behind his cards again. 
“Don’t worry about that!” Remus waves him off, “You’re going to lose it in Poker in an hour.”
“Are you challenging me to a game?” the man says, half turning from the table to wave down a drink waitress. “Why would I ever want to play a game of cards with a man who doesn’t lose?”
“Beats me!” Remus admits, “but we end up over there anyway!”
The stranger laughs. It sounds like a melody to Remus’s ears, something soft and warm and Remus thinks he should hate it. Whats the point of soft and warm things when there are chips and cash and not-completely-terrible-whiskeys? Soft and warm things are illusions anyway: no mother’s love is unconditional, and no late night blanket forts in his brothers room last forever.
Isn’t it great? That whole “growing up” thing?
He’s thought about making a call with the payphone but Roman’s old number is someone else's now and Mom answers the landline with a different last name.
Remus is twenty one. Roman should be too. If he managed to stay alive this long without Remus being his godforsaken guardian angel.  
The waitress returns with the drink and its a screwdriver that smells like oranges even from where Remus is standing. The stranger gathers up his chips won in the game, and slots them back into his rack.
“Well?” He says, “I would like to see this cheating trick of yours.”
Remus laughs at him taking his own tray. “No one knows my trick.” 
“Oh?” The man sips his drink, “No one knows? Do I get a prize if I figure it out?”
Remus’s shoulder brushes with the man as they walk towards the poker tables. Its quieter here, away from the slot machines, and the tables are thick with intense glares at cards. The craps tables are going strong and someone must have just won big because everyone is clapping and someone is screaming. The roulettes are hardly any better, although Remus nearly cleared out a whole dealer last week with his multitude of correct guesses that got him physically dragged from the table because its literally a 1 in 36 chance every single game and theres no way anyone should be able to win three times in a row, much less fifteen. 
“I’ll tell you what,” Remus says as they join a table for poker that was just clearing up. “If you can figure out my trick, I’ll do one thing for you.”
“For me?” The man echoes, “Interesting. Anything I want?”
“I will fuck you on this table if you tell me to,” Remus says, making the woman next to them choke on her pina colada.  
“Charming,” The man hums, “But I believe I have a much better thought in mind.” 
He’s taking it surprisingly seriously and Remus knows he should probably be concerned, but the truth of the matter was, he wasn’t. After all, he spent nine years physically telling the people closest to him that he could see the future, and they didn’t believe him. A strange man who was going to lose the first three hands is never going to believe in a magic like that.
The irony of it all. Remus wonders what he did that pissed off the big G up there so badly that they cursed Remus to never be believed. Maybe he should have just changed his name to Cassandra and started wearing tunics around the casino (because hell yeah those things would have been much more breathable than these slacks and button up he was currently wearing). Plus a tunic would totally show off his calf muscles. 
--He gets to play three more games of roulette before he’s forced out by security who ask him very nicely to put on pants before coming back and Remus just thinks its funny how he got in to play in the first place. Turning the poor door boy bright red and stammering--
There’s something fascinating about the way the strangers lips look around the straw, the way his eyes settle on the cards of the table the way his gloves fingers weave over his chips with the certainty of someone who knows what they are doing. Remus thinks that he might have played a game with this man before, once or twice, (because he comes here often enough, doesn’t he?) but his memory hasn’t been great since he was seventeen and thought about crushing his brother’s windpipe.
Remus is twenty one and this stranger looks like danger no matter which way Remus squints at him. But is that such a bad thing?
“Are you going to look at your cards?” The man asks without looking at him.
“No,” Remus says, because he already has in the future and he’s got a seven and an eight both of diamonds. (The strangers fingers hover over his own cards-- a five of clubs and a jack of spades-- and his green eyes darting to glance at Remus in suspicion.) The other players at the table shift nervously and Remus thinks that even the old lady at the end is going to pitch a fit about Poker etiquette but she holds her tongue. 
He sees ahead to the rest of the hand, something he glanced at earlier. By the time the dealer draws the turn card, Remus not looking at his cards makes the the business man to their left  over confident about his chances about his straight. The couple on his right have both individually decided to back out, and the old lady is holding nothing but a two pair. She folds when she realizes that neither Remus nor the very attractive stranger to his left are going to fall for it. 
The stranger folds, the businessman checks, and Remus wins the round with a straight flush without having picked up his cards before revealing them.
“You’re cheating!” The business man yells and Remus grins at him as he takes the two blacks and the quarter that the man bet with.
“Not in any way that you can prove, big boy.”
He’s twenty one and he wins the next three hands before the table clears out of all but him and the stranger who followed him there. Security is called twice to deal with another debugging ritual at the old lady’s insistence and the the dealer is screeched at by several parties. Remus thinks the old guy handles it with grace and elegance: threatening to have security called over if the players don’t sit down right then and there.
“How much do you make in a night?” The stranger asks, as the dealer changes from the older gentleman to a young girl.
“Are you planning something?” Remus asks, inhaling the scent of oranges that waft off this stranger, “Gonna get me drunk and in bed and then steal my money? Slit my throat for good fun?”
“I don’t think I’d have to get you drunk for that,” His eyes slide past Remus for a moment to something across the room. 
“Oh, so true,” Remus agrees, “Everyone loves a good bit of knife play!” The dealer begins to shuffle the cards to nicely. 
“Besides,” Those green eyes come right back to Remus, startlingly close and perceptive in a way that makes shivers run down Remus’s back. “Shouldn’t you already know the answer to that?”
Remus is twenty one, spending his birthday in a Casino as far away from where he grew up as he can be. And despite not having talked to his family in four years, he can still hear Roman’s voice in his head, chanting a mantra of “I don’t need you”, “I don’t need you”, “I don’t want you”. 
“Don’t know what you’re talking about, pretty boy,” Remus says picking up his cards to look at them, to feel them, to remind himself he’s here in this casino and not back in the room with his hands on Roman’s fluttering little pulse.
The stranger rolls a Barney from his tray, Remus’s Barney, and places it on the betting pool. “Interesting.”
Remus wonders what that means, but there’s no answering vision. Any time he pushes the stranger laughs it off until the dealer motions for them to play or leave the game. 
Remus is twenty one and the way that this stranger said “interesting” is the way a scientist says it before they start dissecting a frog. Clinical, cold, like a knife straight to Remus’s throat. His green eyes are dangerous pins holding Remus in place at this table, but he can’t find it in him to wish he was anywhere else.
The stranger picks up his new cards and pretends to look at them. Remus isn’t sure what that means, isn’t sure why this stranger suddenly seems so much different, isn’t sure what could possibly be more interesting than the card game they're playing.
Until he is.
Of course because--
-- He places another three blacks in the betting pool in front of him and he turns just in time to see the stranger lunging towards the crowd that was passing behind them; towards the armed security guard that was wheeling the fucking cash box of the casino towards the elevator to the vault across the floor fuck. Several guns go off and and there’s a couple hundred screams that break Remus’s eardrums in the moment, but all he’s aware of is the body at his feet, the body of the stranger with pretty green eyes, with welts of red bursting out the back of that nice tailored suit that was suddenly shredded and that face smashed into the floor, but there’s no mistaking the way his skin on the left half of his face wasn’t--
There’s something in the back of his throat that tears him up inside, like he’s regurgitating a bunch of swords he forgot he had swallowed. Every hair on his body stands on end, curling with an electric current that didn’t actually exist but one that Remus couldn’t get out of his veins even is he started carving with a knife--
He forgot-- how did he forget? He hated the color red so damn much; how could he have forgotten that?
He grabs the stranger beside him with an iron grip and pressed him to the table as that cash box rolled by, as that future twists away, as that sight fades from his vision from something plausible to a nothingness in the back of his mind. 
“Sir?! Sir!” 
The stranger gasps for air, looking caught between surprised and not, with those fake green eyes and that stolen black hair, and that completely unmarred face and makes Remus’s skin crawl. Remus wonders if this stranger--this stupid idiot of a stranger-- knows his body reverts to normal once he’s dead and gone and passed.
The rest of the table is in chaos, and Remus isn’t sure if its because both his and this stranger’s chips just got tossed across the table with the viciousness of a life or death (or death or death or death) situation, or because the Dealer dropped her deck, or because Remus just grabbed a man and that wasn’t poker etiquette or something else entirely.
He doesn’t care.
He lets go of the stranger (the living, breathing alive stranger), and he shoves through the buzzed, singing pair behind him, knocking them both to the ground. His hands-- oh fuck his hands sting and shake with some emotion that Remus can’t remember the name of.
“Sir! Your chips!”
Remus rips at the collar of his shirt, tearing off an entire button as he struggles to get enough oxygen in his lungs. The golden walls shimmer and shine and distract, but Remus throws himself through the crowd to the exit.
Remus is twenty one the first time he meets someone else like him.
Well not entirely like him, because this stranger who stumbled upon him by chance doesn’t see the blood, or the deaths, or the future. He doesn’t know all the consequences, doesn’t know the feeling of seeing living, breathing people just stop, doesn’t know what it smells like to mix blood and a half finished screwdriver on the floor of a casino for a box of cash that he had no chance of leaving the building with in the first place.
The night air hits him like an eighteen wheeler (which Remus knows what that feels like, he does, because he thought about it once out of curiosity four years ago when he couldn’t quite believe that he had wasted seventeen years of his life on someone who would never been willing to do the same). Its bitter cold and harsh and it tears his skin almost right off his bones.
He stumbles and nearly falls, does fall, is caught.
Caught by the back of his shirt and hoisted back up, with a second hand stabilizing him by his chest. Remus starts to laugh because he didn’t see this coming. Of course he didn’t see this coming.
Its almost like that day when he didn’t see that argument with Roman coming, except back then he was looking ahead and that wasn’t an option, and now he just hadn't been looking long enough, hard enough, close enough.
Remus feels something against his back, solid, cold, oh its a wall. The stranger who followed him from Blackjack to poker, who bet with Remus's money, who just caused Remus to lose his first game of cards ever-- that stranger with green eyes that aren't real is right in front of him pressing him to the wall and holding him steady.
Remus laughs harder like he can dislodge the cancerous lump in his throat by the force of his will alone. 
"Did I die?" The stranger asks as Remus wheezes for air.
And isn't that just hilarious?
"Everyone...dies!" Remus convulses under the man's touch, "Everyone dies... someday, Scales!"
The stranger isn’t like him, because instead of seeing things and wondering if they’re all in his head, he fucking changes his appearance.
Remus hiccups painfully-- a gasping air that shreds his diaphragm as he laughs with tears on his face. He forgot again: how he hates the sight of red, how he needs to breath if he wants to keep living, how he's too old to be crying over every single, little, itty, bitty death he sees.
"You can see the future," the man says like a statement while Remus drags his nails over his own face and through his hair to get rid of his worthless tears.
"Its funny!" Remus grins with all his teeth. "It's always funny! Did you know you revert back to your natural half snake self when you die?"
The stranger flinches, just like everyone does when Remus opens his mouth and talks about death, just like someone who’s afraid of dying, just like Roman.
“You,” Remus says gaining enough sense of his own to shove the stranger off of him and back, “You are…batshit fucking insane!” He laughs, because what else is there to do? Scream? Cry?
(He’s screamed and cried before. It doesn’t work, because they never believed him and then they go and get hurt and tell Remus to shut up, shut up, I don’t need you--!)
“How far in the future can you see?” The stranger asks.
“Take me to dinner first,” Remus twists a hand through his hair, then drags it down his face, smushing his nose and flattening his mustache and then dropping it into the empty air.
The stranger catches his hand, and the silk touch of the gloves freezes Remus’s where he stands, against the wall of a casino in a dark alley where the shimmering light doesn’t touch and the sound is strangely diluted.
“Answer me,” the stranger demands.
Remus laughs, “Or what? You’ll turn your hands into claws and rip my throat out? Maybe roll your body into a giant python and choke the life out of me without leaving a fingerprint? Can you secrete poisons too? Spit them right into my eyes--”
His other gloved hand goes right over Remus’s mouth, squeezing the hallows of his cheeks until its just borderline painful. “Why don’t you tell me?”
Remus already knows the answer before this stranger asks, already knows that despite the burning closeness between them, despite the cool indifference he’s been portraying, despite the millions of ways that he could kill Remus, he’s not going to, not in any way that matters.
He’s a good guy like that.
Kinda.
“You must think I’m insane,” Remus gurgles, shoulders shaking from laughing, with the future in his eyes and no air in his lungs.
“Are you?”
“Not that insane. Not yet!” He pushes off the wall and leans forward into his companions personal space until their faces aren’t more than a few inches apart. “Can’t you tell? I’m the pinnacle of stability, Slitherous Snape!”
“Stability is a lie made up by society to sell more products.” The man waves him off, easily without putting so much as an inch between them. “You are a seer. And I’m in desperate want of someone who can see the future.”
“Because you want to rob the casino we just left,” Remus says.
It sounds different coming from his own lips rather than the man before him. It sounds different hanging in the space between them. It sounds different being a real thing.
“Because I want to screw over the owner of that casino for some unsavory acts he performed against someone who was dear to me,” The man corrects.
“An altruist!” Remus does a shimmy with his upper body. “All that money is just a bonus then, right?”
“Oh yes absolutely! And How…” The man hesitates and clears his throat innocently, “How much money…did you say?”
Remus laughs at him, again. The hysteria is fading leaving another pesky emotion that Remus doesn’t know if he likes or not. Its dangerous, he knows that. Dangerous because even while he stands here, talking to this shapeshifter who is every bit a lie as a person can be, he feels his heels beginning to dig into this idea.
This stupid awful terrible idea. This What if---
---oh…. Oh no.---
“How many times do we die?” The man asks, breathlessly excited. “How many times do we get away?”
Remus is twenty one and he knows that stealing is morally wrong.
But.
But there’s a man in front of him who likes money far too much and a casino behind him that’s filled to the brim with cash waiting and six hundred fifty million futures where they both die painful, violent, expected deaths.
And for once Remus can’t even focus on that part of this frankly awful idea. He’s too busy focusing on the way that in every single future-- all of them-- there’s not even a little--
Remus watches them again and again, as many times as he can until he almost forgets that they haven’t even happened.
And oh. 
The stranger is looking at him and there’s something in those green eyes that he can’t hide even if he wanted to.
“There’s a dealer,” Remus says, because he needs to see it happen for real. “Two inches taller, blue eyes, scar on his knuckles. Turn into him.”
The stranger blinks and his eyes are blue, his skin ripples like a puddle when a child jumps in it, and suddenly Remus is staring at someone completely different and yet entirely the same. The man before him is the dealer from the casino, but when he smiles so softly all Remus can see is that stranger who didn’t hesitate at all.
And oh. 
Remus knows he’s in trouble, because he can feel electricity in his veins, that burns all of his nerves and hijacks his brain. Because this is what its like for someone to trust his power, for someone to have complete and utter faith in him.
This is what someone believing him when he said he could see the future is like.
“You’re bleeding,” The man says tentatively.
“Happens,” Remus says cupping his hand under his nose to catch the red splatters before they hit the ground. In the shadows he can’t see just how scarlet they are and he thinks that’s a relief. “You really….you really didn’t hesitate.”
“Should I have?” The man cocks his head to the side, half a grin on his face, as if he doesn’t quite get the joke Remus is telling. (There’s no joke, and that fact alone makes Remus’s stomach flip.)
The question is a loaded gun anyway and Remus doesn’t feel like pulling the trigger on himself today at least.
Remus is twenty one and he helps rob his first casino.
Which seems insane, because Remus is a lot of things, but he wasn’t really a lawbreaker until that moment he talked the man who could shapeshift into anyone straight through the four levels of security and the cameras and figured out the codes that he needed to get in to the vault and the path he needed to take out, which led him all the way up the stairs to Remus’s hotel room.
There’s enough money on the floor to fix the world hunger. The man, his partner in crime, the shapeshifter sits in the middle of it like a dragon watching his hoard, scribbling mathematics on the hotel provided pad of paper so that he can count it all. His shapeshift is off, allowing Remus a look at his green scales and yellow eye without all the blood.
He’s grinning like the cat that caught that little canary. Remus thinks its a good look on him.
Remus holds one of his poker chips in his hand, a Barney that wandered off from the casino floor and found its way to Remus’s hotel room.
“So,” He says, because silence has never been his type of thing, “What now? We split ways?”
The man makes another mark on his pad of paper shuffling through the green papers. “I’m afraid not. You still owe me.”
“What?” Remus turns to face him, and if there’s a spark in his chest, a nudge of excitement, well who can blame him? Its not like hes spent his whole life waiting for people to leave him.
Another dash on the paper. “We made a deal, unless you’ve forgotten. You said that if I could figure out how you were cheating, you’d do one thing that I want you to do.”
Remus snorted and waved to the money around them, “What do you call this?”
“This?” The man gave him a shark-like smile, “You did this of your own violation!” He held up a wad of cash, a smug superior smile on his face, that makes his fangs glisten.
“I seem to recall you asking,” Remus challenges.
“Not in this timeline, Love Muffin,” The man throws the cash at him. “You still have blood on your face by the way.”
Remus lets the cash fall to the floor because money is nice, but there’s something much nicer about the way that this man is looking at him, the way he’s still looking at him, like Remus is something more than a nuisance, more than a distraction, more than an unwanted, frustrating intrusion. 
“What do you want?” Remus says, because he hasn’t looked ahead this far yet and the uncharacteristic fear in his chest is slowly turning all his organs to butterflies. 
He knows what he wants this man to say, knows what he wants to hear come out of this man's mouth and he thinks that if he looks in the future and its not what happens, Remus will surely explode right there in his (their) room. 
“Hm?” The man says tapping his hotel offered pencil to his chin. “Well, you did say anything I wanted right? Anything at all?”
Remus nods, rolling his finger over the snake design on his stolen poker chip.
“Well then, the one thing I want…” He hesitates, “...is for us to stick together. I think we make quite the team, don’t you? My name is Dee.”
“Remus,” He chokes, because suddenly there doesn’t seem to be enough air in the world, and he’s afraid if he inhales too deeply trying to get more, the whole reality will shatter.
Dee makes another mark on the paper. “Well Remus,” He says, “Any other places you’d like to rob with me?”
Remus is twenty one and he thinks that this is the best birthday he’s ever had.
(Part Three)
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floralseokjin · 3 years
Text
⤑ made-up love song epilogue (m).
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Your first encounter with Kim Seokjin doesn’t go so well, nor your second, or your third… and maybe that’s because it shouldn’t work on paper. You’re an elementary school teacher living with your best friend, and have never left the country despite hitting the third decade of your life not so long ago. He’s the dad of one of your students, nearly a decade older than you and divorced. Oh yes, and just another minor detail – he’s a multimillionaire.
Your lives are lightyears apart, yet somehow, your paths having now crossed, things just seem to fall into place…
pairing; kim seokjin x reader au/genre/warnings; strangers to lovers, single dad! seokjin, ceo! seokjin, elementary school teacher! oc, age gap (oc is 30, seokjin is 37), seokjin is a dilf, romance, fluff, a final resolution, smut; oral (male receiving), penetration, got a lot spicier than i initially imagined, oc was feeling herself words; 6,503
↪︎ chapter index
chapters; i • ii • iii  • iv • v • vi • vii • viii • ix • x • epilogue  (+ drabbles)
author’s note; fun fact, I’ve never actually written an epilogue before, but it felt fitting this time around, to tie up all the loose(ish) ends and satisfyingly bring it to a close – she says as if she isn’t writing drabble upon drabble (and more) lol but you get what I mean. I hope you enjoy! Thank you for reading ~ 
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“The rabbits!” Seokjin cried out of the blue, jumping to his feet. 
Immediately you found yourself slumped into the sofa, having been leaning against him, cuddled up all morning. You sat up, confused as you looked at him. “What?”
His eyes were wide with panic. “I need to feed them! Arin will kill me if she finds out.” 
“Relax,” you chuckled, taking a hand in yours to tug him back to you. He stepped between your legs but kept standing. “They won’t starve to death. When did you feed them last?”
“Last night,” he thought. “Just after I came home from work. Maybe 7.” 
You checked his watch, seeing it was just gone eleven. “They’ll be fine for another half hour.” You stood up, tugging his hand again, but this time to lead him to the kitchen. “Come on, let’s take the stuff for brunch to your place.” 
You’d stayed in bed for a while this morning, just happily holding and kissing one another, still buzzed and definitely still basking in that post-orgasm glow. When you’d finally managed to escape the warmth of your sheets, you’d showered together. Your bathroom was a lot smaller than his – obviously – and your shower bath was even tinier, but you made it work, until you didn’t, Seokjin nearly toppling out over the side while simultaneously nearly getting rolled up in the shower curtain. Of course that had given you the giggles, but you’d composed yourself, finishing up, getting dry and then getting dressed for the day. Luckily, Seokjin had some clothes at your place, so he didn’t have to recycle the ones he’d slept in last night. 
You were treating this day like a Sunday, making the most of being lazy on the sofa before you inevitably had to go and cook brunch up. 
He stopped in his tracks, making you turn back. “You sure?” He asked, pulling you to him, nuzzling his nose against your jaw as his arms wrapped around waist. “I wanted to stay here this weekend.” 
You couldn’t stop yourself from chuckling, linking your hands around his neck as he placed a kiss behind your ear. “It doesn’t matter where we are as long as we’re together.” 
He pulled back to see you, his plump lips already curved into a smile. “You speak such truth. I’m forever awestruck by you.” 
“Shut up,” you rolled your eyes, but that didn’t stop you from stealing a small kiss. 
Seokjin decided he wanted more, pressing kiss upon kiss to your lips with enjoyable hums. “I love you,” he declared causally after the last that lingered a little. Then he grinned. “How many time will I say that today before it gets annoying?” 
You smiled fondly at him. “You could never be annoying.” You got the last kiss. “I love you.” 
.
.
A lazy day was a lazy day regardless of the house. After Seokjin made sure the rabbits were happy, fed and had fresh water, you started brunch, eating it on the kitchen island as the rain continued, falling down against the tall windows. Any other day you would have found the weather depressing, but not today. Not when you were bursting with happiness and beautifully content. Besides, that just meant you had even more of a reason to do nothing, cuddled up on Seokjin’s large corner sofa as you picked up the series the both of you had started watching a couple of weeks ago. 
At around 5pm you started toying with the idea of going out for dinner somewhere, but then you hadn’t brought along the right clothes and by now it was raining heavier than it had all day. The idea of putting on makeup made you feel even lazier, so you decided on takeout in the evening and a movie instead. 
As Seokjin was arranging the containers and plates around the coffee table, ready to dig in, movie ready to go, you slipped out a question. There’d been something on your mind all day, nothing major of course, but still, you didn’t quite know how to bring it up. 
“What time is Arin coming home tomorrow?” 
“I’m unsure,” he replied, briefly looking over at you before he opened up the black bean noodles. “I need to text Nana.” 
You nodded, opening you mouth to ask a follow up question, but hesitating last minute. He looked at you again, sensing your caution and raised a concerned eyebrow. You hated seeing him worried, so you rushed ahead. “Do you want me to go home beforehand?”
“No, of course not,” he exclaimed, before he furrowed his brow. “Unless you want to of course… If you feel uncomfortable.” 
“I don’t,” you were quick to reassure. You wanted to be there actually, if he was okay with it. “I was thinking her and I should clear the air.” 
You could see Seokjin deep in thought for a brief second before he nodded, sitting back against the sofa to take your hand. “It won’t be like last time. I promise.” 
Seokjin had already told you some of what he and Nana had spoken about Thursday evening, so you knew not to be worried about any potential conflict, but still, you didn’t want to blindside her. “We should probably check with her first though, right?” 
“Okay,” he agreed. Giving you a smile, he squeezed your thigh. “I’ll call her after the movie.” 
.
.
“Should I turn off the lamp?” 
You nodded in reply, watching Seokjin lean over his side of the bed to flick the only form of light you had off. When he rolled onto his back, you immediately pounced, hooking a leg over his hip to settle yourself on top of him, your stomachs flush. It may have nearing 12am, but sleep was not the thing on your mind. 
“Oh, hello,” he responded, happily surprised as his hands found your hips, nudging you closer. 
“Hello,” you smiled, wasting no time with meeting your mouths. 
You were a woman on a mission, knowing exactly what you wanted. Today had been lovely, and yes, you’d already had sex today, but when had that ever stopped you before? You were happy and in love and just couldn’t keep your hands (and lips) off of your boyfriend. On top of that, you were just in a great mood, full of positivity. Nana was fine with meeting tomorrow and that meant you could all clear the air and move forward. You’d finally get to see Arin again too, you’d missed her.
Things were perfect, if you did say so yourself, everything heading in the right direction, and right now you wanted to celebrate that. With Seokjin. In the best kind of way. 
“I would have kept the light on if I knew we’d be kissing,” Seokjin murmured wetly against your lips, his tongue missing yours by a second as you started to trail your way down his chin, throat and then his chest, kissing over his pyjama shirt. 
He felt you start to undo the buttons, his cock beginning to rouse expectantly which was highly amusing for you. As you exposed more and more of his chest your lips followed suit, kissing down his stomach, past his belly button to stop just above his pyjama pants, the tiny hairs that littered the skin tickling. You pulled the shirt open, working your way up again, Seokjin helpfully keeping your hair out of your eyes as he tried to hungrily watch you at work, the light of the moon shining through the gaps in the drapes casting enough light to be able to make you out. 
He let out a shaky moan when you flicked the tip of your tongue against his right nipple, laughing at himself afterwards. 
Back at his mouth, you didn’t stay too long before you sat up, straddling him. 
“Where are you going?” He wailed, annoyed you didn’t want his kisses. 
But it wasn’t that you didn’t want them, more like you wanted something else… 
You moved downwards, covers collecting at the end of the bed as you slotted in between his eagerly opening legs, his hips bucking when you cupped his now fully erect (and trapped) member. You began to run your hand up and down it, a grin on your face as you looked up. “You’re so easy.” 
Eyes having adjusted, you saw his grin was a little more bashful, eyes half lidded as he admired the view before him. “Only for you.” 
Ever the flatterer, you had him inside the warmth of your mouth in no time. You weren’t shy by any means, especially now what with all the times you and Seokjin had been intimate, but there was something about being surrounded in near darkness that gave you a fresh surge of confidence. In the glow of the moon, you could make out Seokjin’s parted lips, his eyes piercing the ceiling, giving you a glorious view of his thick neck, Adam’s apple bobbing up and down slowly as his breathing got shallower, just enjoying the moment. He looked handsome as hell – mixed with that pyjama shirt pushed sinfully open, his toned chest and stomach on full display. For you. 
Taking him deeper, you reached for him, running your hands up his stomach, feeling the firm ridges of muscle. He let out a deep moan, looking down to take your hands in his, eyes heavy with desire as he clasped them tight. You eased up a little, smiling around his cock before you started sucking the tip, caressing your tongue over him time and time again. 
He lifted his hips up, eager for more and you wrestled one of your hands free from his to clasp it around the base of his dick, feeling how wet it was from your saliva as you slowly started jerking him off, placing small, wet kisses against his slit. 
With the hand still on his torso, he slipped his fingers between yours, head relaxing back, eyes shut once he felt you softly begin to massage his balls, coating them in the spit that had dripped down onto them. You took him deeper again, picking up speed as you bobbed your head up and down. The sensation just about exploded his mind. 
“Jesus, fuck, baby,” he gasped, free hand running through his hair and tugging at the roots. “If you keep that up I’ll cum.” 
You found it cute how bad his voice trembled, pulling off to smirk. “And is that a bad thing?” 
“Nope, it’s not bad,” he agreed, a little more himself now that you’d spared him for a few seconds. “I just thought we could do some other stuff too.” 
“Some other stuff?” you laughed, lifting on your knees to crawl closer to him. You continued to massage his balls, feeling them tighten. “Like what?” 
He took a shaky breath, rolling his hips into your touch. “Like…” He paused to groan. Now you were jerking him again, your thumb rolling small circles against his slit. “Sex.” He tried again. “I want to have sex with you.” 
“You do?” 
“I always want to have sex with you.” 
And impatient now, his hands gripped your waist, tugging you to him. You squealed, fingers slipping from his cock to land on his chest, the movement sudden enough to make you think you were falling. He kissed you hastily, a soft growl in his throat as his palm grazed over your ass, fingertips playing with the frill detail of your shorts. 
“I’d be inside you 24/7 if it was possible.” 
“God, I want it to be possible so bad.” You practically lamented, his mouth on your neck now, licking strips up and down the sensitive skin. 
He made another noise, cock twitching against your thigh. You felt impatient yourself now, hands finding the collars of his shirt to push it over his shoulders, needing to strip him. He lifted his back of the bed, letting you shimmy the item off before his hands grabbed at your vest, lifting it up over your head in no time. Your mouths met in a rush, his hands palming your breasts, making you moan out, nipples sensitive as he pinched them between his thumb and forefinger. 
You went to move, wanting to get rid of his pants but he stopped you, fingers wrapping around your ribs. 
“W-wait, wait, wait, wait,” he babbled, pulling you closer. “Let me taste them.” To explain further, he caressed a finger down your left breast, making you shudder. “Mine,” he whispered possessively and then you found yourself hovering over his face, his hands cupping the soft, sensitive flesh as he kissed and sucked them in turn. 
You could feel yourself growing wetter and wetter, shorts uncomfortable as he swirled his tongue around and around your nipple, nipping it gently as he pulled away. “I love your body,” he breathed – hard. “I love you.” 
“Mhmm,” you moaned deeply, watching him suck on the other boob now. Your fingers dug into the pillow, arms trembling with pleasure. “I love you, too.” 
He made a noise of approval, finally letting you break free so you could get his pants down over his hips. His erection was so hard by now it almost stood poker straight, veins angrily visible even in the faint lighting. Pyjama pants below his knees, he eagerly kicked them off the rest of the way, watching as you peeled off your shorts. Both naked, he moaned as you straddled him, sliding up and down his cock teasingly, coating it in your arousal. 
“Honey, please,” he pleaded. His voice shook. “Don’t tease. It’s not very nice.” 
“You tease me all the time.”
He groaned weakly, unable to think of a comeback. You sat straighter, chest wet and shiny in the moonlight, his doing, and you knew he could see it too, his dark eyes watching you silently – hungrily. He looked so good, you couldn’t wait any longer. Wrapping your hand around him, you ambitiously went for it, pushing down and taking him whole. It surprised you both, groaning together as you caught your breaths. 
Although, you didn’t give him much time to get used to the feeling of your warmth hugging him tight before you began to ride him hard and fast, bouncing up and down loudly before you stopped to swivel your hips. He could feel you everywhere, his eyes practically rolling back into his head as you continued your onslaught. 
“Y/N…” He murmured, voice weak as he watched you begin to bounce on top of him again, his hands travelling up your thighs to land on your waist. “Y/N,” he tried again, unable to piece together a sentence. “Shit, keep going like that…mmfph, yeah, just like that…” 
When you felt his fingers digging into your skin you wrapped your hands around his, pushing them away. “N-no touching,” you panted, feeling him lift his legs and fold them at the knee behind you, giving you something to lean back on. 
“Seriously,” he asked, sounding annoyed, yet dreadfully turned on. 
You smirked. “I want you to lay back and watch.” 
He matched the curve of your lips. ‘Oh, I can do that no problem, honey.” He stubbornly kept his voice steady, thrusting inside of you once before he stilled his hips completely. “Could watch you ride me all night.” 
On cue, he folded his arms behind his head, biceps bulging. The casual manner got you instantly hot, bouncing along his cock a couple more times before you leaned forward, changing the angle and in turn hopefully sending him crazy. You moved back and forth, griding all over him, your arousal soaking into his pubic hair. You were wetter than usual tonight, turning yourself on as you rode him, hearing the soft squelching where your bodies met, the pressure on your clit eliciting moan after moan. 
You stared him straight in the eyes, noticing the way his jaw was clenched tight, a muscle twitching in his left cheek, but he continued to persevere, stubborn to the bone. 
That was until he felt your breasts graze against him. His hips jerked up, moaning as he was unable to stop rolling into you, and you let him, let him fuck up into you, moaning softly. 
He grunted. “Someone’s getting tired.” 
You shook your head with a whine. You could be stubborn too. Sitting up, you attempted to bounce again but his hips were working too fast by now, his fists grabbing the pillow below his head to gain some momentum. You cried out as he thrust harder, Seokjin’s own noises of pleasure gasping out of him as if he’d been holding his breath. 
“S-seokjin,” you panted, shakily holding onto his thighs. 
He wasn’t relenting. If anything he fucked you harder. “Honey, just give up,” he said matter-of-factly, yet his voice was strained, veins in his neck visible. 
Confidently he brought his hands to your hips, knowing you wouldn’t stop him now, too far gone. You let your eyes flutter closed, concentrating on how good his cock felt inside you. The beautifully crude sound of him pounding into you. 
“Yeah?” He breathed. “Let me make you feel good now. It’s your turn…” 
You nodded, moaning brokenly, and in the blink of an eye you found yourself on your back, Seokjin situated between your spread legs, finding home once again inside the warmth of your body.
You grasped his shoulders, making more noise as he rolled his hips into you, and hooked your legs around his waist, wanting him as deep as possible 
“Uh-uh-uh,” he grinned, taking your hands off him. “No touching.” 
You started complaining but then he pushed your hands above your head, holding your wrists tight with one hand. “Nghnn. Seokjin,” you moaned, feeling him start to fuck you with his entire weight. His back looked delectable and all you wanted to do was rake your fingernails down it but you couldn’t. 
Although, being pinned down by him wasn’t such a terrible thing. 
After a couple of minutes he pressed the elbow of the arm that had you imprisoned into the mattress, careful not to squash you as he brought the other hand between your legs, beginning to roll your swollen clit between his fingertips. Gasping, your legs fell back to the bed, circling your hips in time with his motions, wanting to cum now that he’d put the idea into your head. 
He chuckled at your eagerness causing you to whine. “Why d-don’t you put those lips to good use?”
“Like this, baby?” He smirked, leaning his face in closer, mouth millimetres from yours, and you just about lunged, kissing him desperately. 
He matched that urgency, at some point unable to keep your wrists in place and as soon as he let you go, you had your arms wrapped around him longingly. A groan tore from his throat, thrusts more determined as he continued to rub your clit, and you could feel your back begin to arch, toes curling into the sheets. 
He could obviously feel you squeezing around him too, ripping himself away from your mouth with a moan of your name. “Y/N. Fuck.” 
That’s all it took for you to crumble, face contorting with pleasure as you stared up at him, pulsing around him uncontrollably. 
“You’re so pretty when you cum,” he cooed, removing his hand from between your legs as he pressed soft kisses to your mouth, your orgasm continuing to wash over you in waves. “Am I pretty when I cum?” He joked, but you were too far gone to snort, let alone reply. 
He kept rolling into you, determined to keep your pleasure going for as long as possible, and you almost felt overwhelmed, back arching higher as you clung to him, a tear escaping out of one eye to run down the side of your face. He kissed it away, continuing to adore you, voice cracking, close himself now.  
“You’re my pretty woman. So pretty.” He murmured against your lips and you kissed him hard, the last of orgasm rocking through your body. Holy shit, that was a powerful one. You felt lightheaded but couldn’t get enough. 
“Fuck,” he gasped, feeling the effects as you squeezed and spasmed around him, and with one final thrust he stilled, beginning to spill inside of you. 
You cupped his face quickly, hands trembling and pushed his head up, wanting to admire his face. His plump lips were parted and shiny, beads of sweat collecting along his hairline, gaze unfocused, eyelids heavy with the weight of his pleasure. He looked positively sinful. 
You gave him a drunken smile, your own eyes barely open, and told him simply, “You’re pretty when you cum.” 
.
.
You awoke just as Seokjin was rolling over, a muscular arm reaching for you, pulling your body into his warmth. It was still raining, even harder this morning, but you didn’t care, not when you were so cosy and in love. You were still both entirely naked, which Seokjin took full advantage of, hand cupping a breast – nothing sexual in it though, more like a comfort thing. You smiled, eyes still closed and cuddled in deeper. 
“Where is he this morning?” 
There was a brief silence as he tried to work out what you were asking, but soon enough he realised and laughed, sound cracked and raspy with sleep. “He’s tuckered out after last night.” 
“Aw, diddums.” 
A Sunday morning without a boner? Blasphemy. His morning woods were part of the package, so honestly it was quite surprising to not feel him hard between your butt cheeks. 
Seokjin kissed the top of your head, making a sleepy sound, hugging you tighter to his body. “He just wants to stay in bed and cuddle this morning.” 
“That sounds perfect to me.” 
You honestly couldn’t think of anything better. 
.
.
Once you eventually dragged yourselves out of the warmth of Seokjin’s giant bed, the rest of the morning and early afternoon went by in the blink of an eye. You had just about enough time for a quick lunch before Arin was due back at 2pm, and even though you were ready to meet Nana this time, you still couldn’t stop yourself from feeling a little nervous. It was only natural, you knew that, so you didn’t dwell on it too much, but as you heard the intercom start to ring in the entryway, signalling her arrival, your worry must have been written all over your face. 
“Hey,” Seokjin said softly, calling you as you hovered by the doorway of the family room. When he saw he had your attention, he smiled warmly. “Everything’s fine.”
You gave him a reassuring smile of your own, watching him answer the call to Nana before he opened up the front door, waiting their arrival. 
Arin came in full steam ahead, her little backpack on her shoulders, her carry-on hopping behind as she attempted to ram it over the step to get inside. Nana was only just getting out of the car, you could see her slightly from where you still stood in the doorway of the family room. 
“Hello, Arin.” Seokjin greeted, amusement clear in his voice as he watched his daughter struggle. “Did you have a fun time?” 
She was too busy huffing and puffing to reply and that’s when he finally took pity on her. He reached out his arm, “Let me take your case.” 
“No!” She insisted. She was a determined little thing. “I can do–” 
She never got to finish off her sentence because as she looked forward she caught sight of you smiling at her. 
“Y/N!” She squealed, case (and dad) immediately forgotten as she ran towards you. You weren’t expecting the wave of emotion that hit you when she wrapped her arms around your middle, face in your stomach, but it was there, and it got you right in the gut. You hugged her back. “You’re here,” she beamed up happily. 
“I am,” you grinned, swallowing back your wavering voice. 
“I missed you. It’s been ages.” 
You could always count on kids to be straightforward with their words. She was going to make you cry if she carried on like this. “I missed you too.” 
“It’s only been a week, sweetie,” you heard Seokjin say. 
Arin turned to him quickly. “It’s still a long time.” Then back at you. “I thought you’d never visit again.” 
You felt your heart constrict, and unsure what to do you looked over at Seokjin, finding him equally as afflicted by his daughter’s confession. Teacher mode activated then. “No, no. I was just... busy with work, that’s all.” 
You winced inwardly at your stupid excuse, not wanting to lie to her, but unable to really tell her the truth, especially at a time like this. 
On cue, you heard Nana’s voice greeting you. “Hi, Y/N.” 
You looked over to see her stood just behind Seokjin, a small smile on her face. She seemed a little nervous herself, which selfishly relaxed you. 
“Nana,” you smiled back, “hi.” 
Seokjin cleared his throat, taking a few steps towards his daughter and you. One look at him told you he was feeling the jitters too. This was brand new territory after all – for all of you. 
“Arin, why don’t you take your backpack upstairs and I’ll tell you when mommy is going home so you can say goodbye?” 
“Okay,” she agreed simply, pulling away from you to bound upstairs before she stopped abruptly. She turned back to Seokjin and ran forward with her arms forward. “Sorry, daddy. I forgot to hug you.” 
He chuckled, bending down to kiss her head before he ruffled her hair. “That’s okay. Now, unpack your things. I’ll bring your case up later.” 
She nodded, giving her mom a wave before her attention returned to you. “Will you still be here when I get back?”
“Of course,” you nodded, ignoring the fresh tug at your heartstrings. 
“She really likes you,” Nana observed just as you lost sight of Arin going up the staircase. 
You shook your head, chuckling as you replied modestly, “I don’t know about that.” 
“She does,” she insisted, smiling afterwards. “It’s nice to see. I’m glad she’s happy with everything.” 
You nodded, unsure what to respond with, but Seokjin saved the day. “Do you want something to drink?” 
Nana shook her hand. “I’m okay, thanks. I won’t stay long. I don’t want to interrupt your afternoon.” 
Seokjin gestured her to enter the room, then moved back to take your hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze as he brought you forward, wanting you to go next, putting the hand on the small of your back instead now. His touch calmed you. 
“Sit,” he prompted Nana warmly, and she perched herself on the edge of the teal love seat. 
“I like what you’ve done with the place by the way,” she said politely, looking around. 
“You and me both know I just threw some new throw cushions down,” he laughed, attempting to ease the atmosphere.  
Nana joined in just as you sat down on the far end of the sofa. Instead of taking the seat next to you, Seokjin perched himself on the armrest, loosely throwing his arm around the backrest, fingers grazing your shoulder. 
Nana’s attention fell to you, her expression now serious. “Y/N, I want to apologise to you.” She began. “I was out of order last weekend. I was angry but that’s no excuse.” 
“I appreciate it,” you replied, finding your bearings. “I understand it was a shock to find out about me.” 
“It was, but I still acted embarrassingly.” She looked down at the floor, ashamed of herself. “To think that’s your first impression of me.”
She had said some terrible things, yes. Not only to you, but Seokjin too, but, Seokjin had also said plenty of cruel things back. You weren’t one to hold a grudge, especially if she was showing genuine remorse, which you believed to be the case. 
“We can start anew if you like?” You offered with a small smile. 
She visibly relaxed. “I’d like that.” Then she hesitated before deciding to carry on. “I meant what I said, it seems like Arin really likes you. I trust my daughter’s intuition.” 
“She really does,” Seokjin agreed with a hum, rubbing your shoulder. 
“She’s been talking about you over the weekend – not that I’ve been prying of course,” Nana was quick to clarify. “You’re good with her.” She looked you straight in the eyes. “Thank you for accepting my child.” 
You weren’t used to having this much praise and attention thrown your way, you didn’t really know what to say, but that was alright, you didn’t think Nana was looking for an outright response. You understood how important this was for her. She needed to trust the woman that spent time with her daughter, just like Seokjin had grown to trust you. It was slightly more difficult for her considering she wouldn’t be spending a lot of time in your company, so all she really had to go off was Arin’s opinion on you. It meant a lot to know she had given you a chance. Last week you had been afraid that might not be the case. 
You smiled gratefully. “She’s really special.” 
“Yes, Y/N says she’s a talented storyteller,” Seokjin mentioned soon after, helping the conversation along as if he could sense that you felt awkward with all the attention cast on you. He knew you too well. 
“Oh really?” Nana looked delighted, eyes on you as she waited for more information. 
You nodded, complimenting Arin coming easy to you. “The stories she wrote while I was her teacher were amazing.” 
“I have the copies somewhere if you want to read them yourself,” Seokjin offered. 
“I’d love that,” she beamed. “Thank you, Seokjin.” 
“No problem. I’ll find them this week.” 
Nana’s gaze happened to fall to Seokjin’s hand still comfortably on your shoulder then, and her smile faltered. In its place appeared guilt. “Listen, I... I hope I didn’t come in between you both because of last weekend.” She turned to you. “I know mine and Jin’s relationship seems toxic and it was until a few days but I,” she paused to glance at Seokjin, “I really want to change that.” 
“You know I do too,” he agreed. 
“I don’t want to fight anymore, or have things tense between us. We both love Arin.” She caught your eyes. “We all love Arin, so that’s the most important thing.” 
You looked down at your lap but nodded in agreement. Arin’s happiness was what mattered the most. 
“It is,” Seokjin replied. 
Nana smiled, satisfied, and stood up. “Okay, I should get going.” You both followed her, starting to walk towards the doorway. 
“Um, I managed to get that Wednesday afternoon free,” she told Seokjin, “is it okay if I collect Arin from school and take her for something to eat?”
“Of course. I know this great pizza place she loves if you want the name.” 
“She already told me about it,” Nana chuckled. “I think she was dropping hints, but directions would be great. Thanks, Jin.” 
“No problem.” He stopped by the staircase, voice raising quite a lot to reach Arin in her bedroom. “Arin, your mom’s leaving. Come say bye, sweetie.” 
In no time at all she was galloping down the stairs. “Will I see you Wednesday?” She asked her mom eagerly. 
“You betcha! How does pizza sound?”
“Yay, thank you, mom!” She squealed, going in for a hug as Nana bent down.  
“I’ll see you in a couple of days, okay, darling. I love you.” 
“I love you more,” Arin murmured sweetly, kissing her mother’s cheek. 
Nana kissed her back, chuckling. “Not possible, but okay.” Then she stood up, nodding to you and Seokjin with a small smile. “Bye both. I’ll see you Wednesday?” 
“See you Wednesday,” Jin confirmed. 
.
You spent the afternoon playing board games together, Seokjin finding a bunch of his old collection in the attic and you had fun teaching Arin how to play, although she didn’t quite grasp the full idea of monopoly yet, wanting to buy everything in sight regardless of if she had enough money or not… It was funny to say the least, even more so when Seokjin was unable to refuse her, loaning her money from the bank time and time again. 
Where’s my special treatment, you’d teased quietly when Arin was distracted, secretly finding it adorable how much of a softie he was when it came to his daughter. 
“You know I’d buy you anything you want,” he’d replied with a grin, unable to stop himself from stealing a quick kiss. 
At around 6pm, you and Seokjin began preparing dinner for the three of you. Only you left him in charge for a little while when you followed after Arin who had gone to feed her rabbits, wanting time alone to talk with her. You hadn’t been able to stop feeling guilty about effectively lying to her earlier and after confiding in Seokjin about it while Arin was unpacking her suitcase, he’d suggested you speak to her about it. He agreed that honesty was the best policy from here on in (within reason, of course) and that she obviously understood something had been wrong last week else she wouldn’t have reacted the way she had when she’d seen you earlier this afternoon. 
She was only getting older and that meant as much transparency as possible when she was personally involved in something. She was at that age where these things would stick with her. Although hopefully nothing like last week would ever happen again. 
You stood by the doorway watching as she cooed and conversed with the Olive and Ariel at first, not wanting to interrupt. She was such a great little pet owner, making sure they were fed and watered enough, helping to clean their hutch, watching over them when they played outside. She adored them. 
After a few moments she noticed you. “Oh, Y/N,” she smiled, “is dinner ready?” 
You shook your head. “Not yet.” Stepping closer you joined her, watching the rabbits bound about. Seokjin had found the largest hutch imaginable. “Did you miss them?” 
“Yes, but daddy has been feeding them well.” 
You stifled a laugh, remembering Seokjin’s panic yesterday morning, but then crossed your arms, clearing your throat. “Hey, listen,” you began cautiously, feeling a little nervous. Arin looked up at you curiously. “Remember when I said I didn’t come over because I was busy with work?” 
She paused to think and then nodded. 
“I was lying actually, Arin.” 
Her eyebrows pinched together. “How come?”  
“Because… I didn’t want to worry you.” 
She took some time to process what you were saying before she shrugged matter-of-factly. “I was still pretty worried last week anyway.”
You smiled sadly. “I know, and I’m sorry about that. Your dad and I…” 
“Did you have an argument?” She was looking up at you curiously, finger playing with Olive and Ariel’s water bottle. 
“Something like that,” you nodded. “It was more of a disagreement.” 
“I thought so because daddy was sad all week.” 
Her honesty stabbed at your heart. 
“Were you sad too,” she asked. 
“Very.” 
“But you’re happy now?”
You smiled at her. “Yes, everything is all fine now. Me and your dad are happy.” 
She looked happy herself at that piece of information, relaxing visibly, but then she asked a question that caught you off guard. “Do you know if daddy and my mom are happy too?” 
“I think so.” You replied as vaguely as you could, not wanting to overstep the mark. But it didn’t feel right. You tried again. “I think things will be different from now on, Arin.” 
“I hope so. I hate it when they argue.” She sounded sad, her gaze cast to the floor. 
“I know. No one likes watching their parents fight.” you sympathised. 
“What about you and my mom?” She asked suddenly, changing the subject a little. “Are you happy?” 
“Yes, I think so.” You smiled at her. “I like your mom. She’s very pretty just like you.” 
Arin beamed and then added, “You’re pretty too.” 
You wrapped an arm around her shoulders, giving her a squeeze. “Thank you.” 
“Don’t worry,” she almost whispered, “I won’t use that word again.” 
You were clueless for a moment, not understanding what she meant but then it hit you. She carried on. 
“Not until we all decide. Mommy said I might call you that one day if you want me to.” 
For the second time today you felt emotional, throat tight as you choked up suddenly. You composed yourself expertly though, taking a breath before you smiled and replied. “That’s right. There’s no rush for when we all decide.”  
Arin nodded along happily and you took her hand. 
“Should we go and check on daddy now? See if dinner’s ready?”
“I think so.” She agreed, her eyes rolling slightly. “Last week he set off the alarms because he burned my chicken nuggets.” 
“Oh, gosh,” you said, soon spluttering out a laugh. Arin joined in. Seokjin had failed to tell you that (hilarious) piece of information. “Well then, let’s hurry.” 
Seokjin was searching the pantry for something when you arrived back at the kitchen. “Hey,” he said, shooting a warm smile your way. “How’s my two favourite ladies?”
You looked down at Arin, wanting her to reply and she beamed at her father. “Happy.” 
You nodded in agreement, catching Seokjin’s eyes as you shared a private moment, silently telling him everything was fine now. He shot you a playful wink then, closing the door. “That’s funny, because I’m happy too.” 
You moved closer to him, collecting the messy ties of the apron he insisted on wearing whenever he was in the kitchen to retie them properly. “We were just checking in to see if the chef was burning dinner again…” 
With a surprised huff, he turned to his daughter, eyes wide. “Kim Arin did you tell tales on me?”
Arin erupted into a fit of giggles, you and Seokjin joining in immediately. “Maybe…” 
“It was an accident. Happens to the best of us,” he tried to defend. 
“Sure, sure.” 
Arin was greatly amused by your flippant response, but soon grew sympathetic towards her dad, stroking his elbow. “It’s okay, dad, I forgive you.” 
“That’s very kind of you,” he laughed. 
“Should I set the table?” 
“And that’s very sweet of you,” he added, eyes shooting wide. “Thank you.” 
You helped her get all the cutlery she needed and watched her leave for the dining room determinedly. But your attention soon got stolen away, pulled into Seokjin’s warmth as he wrapped an arm around your shoulders. You hooked yours around his middle. 
“Okay?” He murmured, checking in as he placed a kiss on your forehead. 
You looked up at him, a smile on your face and gave his waist a squeeze. 
“Okay.” You confirmed. 
Everything was more than okay, actually. 
Everything was perfect. 
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Written 2020 - 2021. Please refrain from posting my work elsewhere. No translations allowed. © floralseokjin 2021
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qianinterprises · 3 years
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Bundled Joy {Part One}
Pairing: Kun x Reader
Genre: fluff, crack, minor angst, pregnancy au
Warnings: pregnant reader, yelling, teasing, overprotective Xiaojun, teasing YangYang, slight explicit language
Word Count: 2.9k
Synopsis: You have a secret that somehow, all of the boys discover before you have time to tell the father. Now, you just have to fight them to tell Kun first.
Author's Notes: I started writing this honestly because I was bored and needed something to do. I didn't expect to finish it, much less post it, so it's going to be pretty different from most of the things I have written in the past. With that said, I have also decided to make this a series, but, as this was just meant to be fun, I cannot guarantee that I will update regularly, but I will try. Also note that this is my first ever series so I hope it's ok! Please enjoy!
Part two coming soon
Tagging: @treasuretaeil
Movie night with WayV happened about once a week, usually on the weekends when the boys either had a day off or didn't have to get up so early. Most of the time, you were invited to movie nights because, in Hendery's words, "movie night just isn't complete without mom and dad together!" It, however, had been a while since you had enjoyed movie night with them, having been too busy with work. This weekend, however, you had decided to join them after not so subtle but ridiculously persistent badgering from both your boyfriend and the other members, particularly YangYang.
Kun had texted you earlier in the day and asked if you'd pick up dinner, something you were only slightly surprised at. Typically, Kun cooked and, if you were over, you often cooked together. However, with deadlines and schedules, you weren't surprised that he was a little too tired to cook a huge meal for six bottomless pits. So, after ordering food online and picking it up, you showed up at the door carrying 10 pizza boxes, four two-liter sodas dangling from your arms in plastic bags because you were sure they'd want something besides water.
As you were struggling to ring the doorbell, having no arms left to reach the door knob or fish your keys out of your pocket, the door flew open to reveal a grinning Hendery who looked more interested in the pizza's that your presence.
“Can I-” he didn’t finish his sentence, looking greedily at the boxes.
“Yes,” you said, almost exasperatedly, though you were glad to be free of the burning boxes.
He grinned gleefully and took the boxes from your arms, hurrying into the kitchen where Lucas and YangYang were already waiting, each holding their own plate.
With a small laugh at the antics of the boys you’d come to love, you stepped into the dorm, only to be greeted with arms wrapping around your waist and a small kiss placed upon your lips.
“Hey babe,” Kun said, smiling softly as his eyes washed over your face.
“Do you guys really have to do that in front of us,” Ten whined, making a disgusted face as he grabbed his own plate.
“At least we have the decency to go somewhere else for our extracurricular activities!” Kun retorted.
Ten was notorious for bringing guests back to the dorms and making poor Hendery snuggle with a reluctant Xiaojun in a small bed.
“Not every time,” Sicheng pointed out, his own face morphing into disgust.
You rolled your eyes. One time to Ten’s twenty, that seemed fair.
“It was one time! And we didn’t even do much!” you argued.
“It would have been different if he had been giving you some… special attention! But instead of seeing boobs, we saw the dick we see all the time!” Xiaojun complained.
“Why do you want to see my girlfriend's boobs?!”
“Better question, why is it so normal for them to see your dick?”
“Kun-gi likes to change in front of us!” YangYang yelled, sounding scandalized.
“We all do!”
“Oh my God! Can we just watch the movie and eat?!” Hendery begged.
With that, Kun handed you a plate of food and sat down on the couch, pulling you snuggly into his side as YangYang started the movie.
~
It was late when the movie finished and Kun insisted you stay the night, something you would have denied if you hadn’t been too exhausted to think.
It wasn’t unnatural for you to stay over, and it wasn’t that you didn’t want to, you quite liked sleeping with Kun. He liked to hold you while he slept, which was part of the problem. You knew you’d be needing to untangle yourself from him at some point early in the morning and, if you intended to keep your secret, you’d have to do so without waking him, which wasn’t an easy thing to do. However, you agreed anyway, letting him lead you to the bedroom he shared with Xiaojun and YangYang. He wrapped his arms around you and, just like that, you were both sound asleep.
And there you were at 5am struggling to remove yourself from Kun’s hold without waking him up as your stomach churned and half-digested pizza threatened to crawl up your throat.
After a struggle that took way too long for someone needing to rush to the bathroom, you finally, successfully, pulled yourself from the bed without waking up your boyfriend, however, the early morning struggles didn’t stop there.
Stumbling through the dark, your feel suddenly got tangled up in a pair of stray shoes (most likely YangYang’s) settled precariously on the carpet, causing you to stumble and nearly lose your balance, catching yourself on the bunk bed.
Cursing, you paused your movements to listen for any wakefulness, swallowing thickly to push down the creeping bile as YangYang simply rolled over and resumed his quiet snores. Surging with relief, you quickly, but quietly, rushed from the room, not noticing a sleepy Xiaojun sitting up, watching you disappear into the hallway.
You stumbled blindly down the dark hallway until finally, you reached the bathroom, dropping to your knees immediately and hurling into the toilet, holding your hair back until someone suddenly appeared behind you, taking your hair in their hands, allowing you to clutch the toilet as your body shook with the force of the retches.
You assumed it was Kun until Ten’s voice met your ears as a hand settled on your back, rubbing soothing circles.
“Let it all out,” he said softly.
You didn’t have time to question his presence as your body shook through a new wave of nausea. His soothing motions didn’t cease, even though you knew he was probably disgusted.
When you finally finished, you weakly reached up to flush down your sick before turning around. Ten helped you settle against the wall as you struggled to catch your bearings. However, when your eyes floated up from the floor, you were met with a tired, but concerned Ten standing near the sink and a sleepy Xiaojun peering in the doorway.
“What are you guys doing up?” you asked, voice hoarse from exertion.
“I was entertaining a guest when I heard someone barrelling down the hall,” Ten explained, turning his attention to the male sleepily leaning against the door.
“When you hit the bunk bed you woke me up,” he explained through a yawn.
“I’m sorry.”
He shook his head and turned his gaze on you, eyes filled with concern.
“Why didn’t you wake up Kun?” Ten asked.
You sighed. You’d have to come clean now, because if not, they’d badger you until you did and then Kun would find out before you were ready.
“I didn’t want him to know yet.”
“Know what?” Xiaojun asked.
One glance at Ten and you could see the gears turning in his head. You simply let your eyes rest on his face, waiting for the question he was working on generating, steeling yourself when he opened his mouth to speak.
“Are you pregnant?”
Out of the corner of your eyes, you saw Xiaojun’s face morph, eyes growing as wide as saucers, lips parting into an ‘O’ at the sudden, accurate question.
You simply nodded before speaking.
“But you’d better not tell him if you both value having dick’s!” you warned. “I already have something planned out and you two better not spill the beans before I have a chance to tell him!”
“We won’t! We won’t!” Ten promised, a giant grin spreading across his face.
“I’m going to be an uncle!” Xiaojun piped.
You rolled your eyes and shifted off the wall to get up when Xiaojun suddenly appeared at your side, half picking you up, eliciting a small yelp from your lips.
“What the hell are you doing?!” you hissed, voice reaching a volume that would likely, accidentally, wake someone else up.
“You have to be careful now! You can’t hurt the baby!” Xiaojun exclaimed as if it should have been obvious.
With a roll of your eyes, you let him continue, crossing your arms over your chest as Ten cackled.
“Looks like you’re going to be dealing with an overprotective Jun!”
You let out a huff but resigned yourself to the fact that this was probably going to be the new normal, at least until you told Kun.
Xiaojun carried you from the bathroom and placed your feet down on the soft carpet of his bedroom floor. He slowly escorted you past YangYang’s shoes to your side of Kun’s bed where he lifted the blankets and tucked you back in. Almost instantaneously, Kun’s arms wrapped around your form, hugging you to his chest.
~
It was the next morning when the amazing scent of breakfast wafted into the room, stirring you from sleep in the best way possible. You rolled over, feeling Kun’s side empty and threw the blankets off your body, the cool morning bringing goosebumps to your skin.
Slowly, you threw your legs off the side of the bed, letting out a yawn as you scanned the bunk beds across from you, finding both beds empty.
As you stood up, your stomach shifted and grumbled, although you weren’t sure if it could handle Kun’s delicious breakfast.
Still, you made your way from the bedroom, meeting a grinning Lucas outside the room. He was standing outside the door, almost as though he was waiting for you to step out. His grin was a little more than slightly creepy and, as soon as he saw you, he began rocking on the balls of his feet like a puppy getting ready to pounce on its owner, something that wasn’t unusual for Lucas to do.
“Lucas?” you asked cautiously, already bracing yourself for the weight of the gentle giant.
“I wanna be the favorite uncle!”
At his words, you let your arms fall by your sides, a groan rising from your throat.
“I’m going to kill them,” you mumbled. “Which one of the boneheads told you?!”
“Your squeal last night woke me up, and then I heard Ten mumbling how amazing it was walking past my room!”
So your screech had woken people up. Great.
“Who else knows?”
With Lucas knowing, it was only a matter of time before the whole world did. If there was one thing Lucas couldn’t do, it was keep a secret.
“Pretty much everyone except Kun. Xiaojun said you threatened our dick’s if anyone told him.... But with as many hints and YangYang keeps dropping, it’s only a matter of time before he figures it out.”
YangYang. You loved the boy. You really did. He was so precious when he was crawling in bed between you and Kun on the nights nightmares woke him up from sleep. Or when he was crying as his legs cramped painfully. The times when he really showed just how young he was.
However, despite your love for the boy you thought of as a little brother, he truly could be a thorn in your side.
You pushed past Lucas and speed-walked into the kitchen where YangYang was, as Lucas promised, dropping hints.
“I want baby carrots and swaddled pigs in blankets for dinner!” He was saying cheekily.
“That’s a lot! Maybe I can help with that!” you said enthusiastically before grabbing the younger's arms and all but yanking him from the room.
“What?” he asked, as if he had done nothing wrong.
“I swear Yang, if you rob me of the joy of telling him, he’s going to be a dad, I will personally remove your gonads with a rusted spoon!” you hissed,
“Yeah, yeah,” he mumbled, rolling his eyes. “Good luck finding a rusty spoon without searching Jeno’s bedroom.”
You shoved him lightly, glaring at him as he walked back into the kitchen, you hot on his trail.
“Good morning sleepy-head,” Kun greeted, seemingly noticing you for the first time.
He placed a soft kiss on your lips and wrapped an arm around your waist, a greeting you loved but would never get used to.
“That’s exactly the kind of thing that got you into this situation,” Hendery piped.
Kun turned around, arching an eyebrow at the male as you sent Hendery the harshest glare you could muster. He bit down on his lip, trying, and partially failing to hide a sinister smirk.
You were going to end up killing them all if you didn’t tell Kun soon, but you wanted him to find out your own way, not because six boys couldn’t keep a secret!
“Babe? Do you think we could go out today?” you asked.
“Ooooo!” all six boys cooed, nearly in unison.
“Ok, what’s going on?” Kun asked, placing his hands on his hips.
It killed you how perceptive he could be.
“You’ve all been acting funny all morning!”
His tone was sharp and commanding, the kind of tone that sent trembles down your spin and heat rushing to your core with need.
“Oh! He’s using his dad tone! He must be-”
“Yang! Shut up!” you snapped, voice raising as tears gathered in your eyes.
His eyes widened as a tear slipped past your eye, trailing down your cheek.
“Y/N… I’m sorry!”
“Why can’t you guys just accept that I want to tell him in my own way! Stop messing around before he figures it out! Because if he does, I will never forgive any of you!” your voice shook with emotion as you spoke, hands balled into fists at your sides.
You were expecting a snarky comeback about being a crybaby, but no one said anything for a good few seconds before Kun broke the silence by clearing his throat.
“Where did you want to go?” he asked.
“To our special place in the park… for a picnic…”
He smiled and pressed a soft kiss to your head.
“Let’s go back to your place to prepare then,” he said.
With that, you sent one more look at the boys before following Kun back to his room to adorn yourselves in anything other than pjs.
Part of you was reluctant to tell Kun yet, wanting to wait just a little longer, but with the boys’ inability to keep anything held within the confines of secrecy, you knew you couldn’t wait any longer if you wanted to be the one to tell him.
~
After preparing a nice picnic while Kun was playing with your cat, Kun took your hand and led you to the park where you both had said “I love you” for the first time.
As you reached the grassy area, you separated yourselves from the playground where kids were playing and screaming, finding a nice shady spot near the hiking trail where Kun spread the old purple and brown blanket you’d fished out of your linen closet. You placed the brown wicker basket in the center and sat down on the blanket, pulling your legs in and curling them. Kun sat down beside you, pulling out the plates as you grabbed the plate of premade sandwiches and cucumbers, your heart pounding in your ears.
“So… how do you feel about... sitting on a picnic blanket with… more than just us?”
It was vague, you knew, but you didn’t know how to just come out and tell the truth.
He gave you a puzzled look as he retrieved a sandwich from the plate.
“Like… the boys coming too?” he asked.
Dense. Kun, WayV’s leader. The group's father. So damn dense!
“I mean like… children…?” you mumbled, heart pounding harder.
“I’d love to have children with you one day!”
“What about soon? Like… now?” you asked.
He raised an eyebrow and took a bite of his sandwich, swallowing before replying.
“Are you telling me you want to start trying?”
You sighed, resigning yourself to the fact that Kun was just too dense to get it without you spelling it out for him.
“I’m pregnant,” you whispered finally, the words coming out softly as a weight lifted off your chest.
The truth will set you free.
Kun was silent for a long moment. So long, in fact, that tears of rejection were gathering in your eyes and you prepared yourself for the “it’s not mine” or “I can’t have a baby right now” speech.
However, as you were about to get up and apologize, a huge smile broke out across his face and the next thing you knew, you were being tackled back, back hitting the grass as Kun held himself on top of you, grinning like a madman.
You were too caught up in the moment to care how the moment might have looked to any onlookers. It was none of their business anyway.
“I’m going to be a daddy?” he asked.
Tears of his own were already falling down his cheeks.
You couldn’t bring yourself to speak, your throat choked up from the happiness of his reaction. So instead, you gave a simple nod, your own smile mirroring his.
He rolled over into the grass beside you and pulled you into his arms, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.
“I’m going to be a daddy,” he whispered this time, almost as if to assure himself of the fact one more time.
As soon as the words left his lips, your ears were met with a surprisingly on key chorus of “awwww’s,” seeming to come from behind the bushes before a hyperactive Bella was jumping into Kun’s lap, licking his face in delight.
“Wait… why did everyone else find out before me?!”
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dottielovegood · 3 years
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ASMR - Chapter 6
Elriel fanfiction
About this fic:
Azriel can’t sleep Elain has an ASMR channel Match made in heaven (or you know, on youtube..)
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You can find chapter 1 here, chapter 2 here, chapter 3 here, chapter 4 here and chapter 5 here.
Read this fic on AO3
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When Friday was just around the corner, Azriel was a nervous mess.
He had cleaned his apartment twice, which he understood was a weird thing to do since she wasn’t even coming to his house. He had tried on every item of clothing in his wardrobe. He had googled ‘conversation topics first date’ and written a few down on his phone. He had even gotten a haircut.
He hadn’t been able to sleep at all that week. It felt weird to look at her videos when he had met her and talked to her. It felt like an invasion of privacy, even though it wasn’t. The videos were on the internet for everyone to see, yet Azriel couldn’t bring himself to watch her videos. So he didn’t sleep.
The day before the date, Azriel had decided to get her flowers. But when he stood in a flower shop and the person behind the register asked what kind of flowers he wanted, he just walked out of there. He had no idea what kind of flowers to give to a florist. He knew that certain flowers had certain meanings, and even though he had no idea what any flower meant, a florist probably knew. What if he bought flowers that said ‘I hate you’ or ‘happy funeral’?
Azriel couldn’t risk it, so he bought some chocolate instead. All women like chocolate, right?
But when he came home, his mind did that thing it always did when he was sleep-deprived: it questioned his every decision. What if Elain is lactose intolerant? What if she’s vegan? What if she is the only person on planet earth who hates chocolate? What if the different flavors of chocolate have meaning, just like flowers? Maybe you bought some sort of ‘happy funeral-chocolate’?
In an attempt to get these intrusive thoughts out of his mind, he went to the gym. He worked out for two hours, which was a bit excessive. The gym played shitty gym-music and every single person made weird sounds. It was the perfect distraction. For now.
Azriel hoped that his workout would help with his insomnia, too. He hoped that if he lifted enough weights and ran a few more miles than usual, perhaps he would be able to sleep. It had never worked before, but, as his mother used to say; “hope is the last thing that leaves you.”
However, after tossing and turning for three hours, he could safely say that the workout had done nothing to help him sleep. He couldn’t understand how a person could be so fucking tired, but still unable to sleep. He was almost going a bit crazy at this point. For the past weeks, Azriel had gotten used to falling asleep to Flower Girl ASMR’s videos. He had gotten used to her sweet voice rocking him to sleep. The insomnia was almost worse now that he knew how good it felt to have a decent night’s sleep.
Azriel looked at his phone. It was almost 02.30 in the morning. Fuck, he muttered to himself. He really didn’t want to be a tired mess on the date tomorrow. He had to put his best foot forward, and he knew he couldn’t do that if he hadn’t slept well for almost a week.
Maybe he should just watch one of her videos? She would obviously never know.
After debating with himself for a few minutes, he decided that Elain deserved to meet a well-rested Azriel, so he opened the YouTube app and found her latest video.
Azriel held his breath as her face filled his screen. God, she was lovely. Her smile could light up the darkest of nights, and her sweet voice was like a calming balm for his soul.
He put the phone in his chest and just listened. Slowly and gently, her whispers lulled him to sleep.
Azriel woke up relaxed, but nervous. He only had a half-day at work because Rhys had decided to send everyone home early today to celebrate that Feyre was pregnant. He was taking her on a spa weekend. She was only a few weeks pregnant, but Azriel knew that she would be the most pampered woman in the world during this pregnancy. This weekend was just the beginning. If she suddenly got a craving for pickle smoothies with whipped cream and sprinkles, Rhys would 100% make her one every day. And that is saying something since this man almost threw up every time someone opened a pickle jar in his vicinity.
“Any cool plans tonight, Az?” Cassian asked as he started to pack up his belongings.
Azriel wanted to tell him about the date. He wanted to share the nervousness with someone - anyone. But he couldn’t. Cass knew who she was. Nesta had known her since college. If this didn’t go well, Azriel would never hear the end of it. So he lied.
“No, nothing special. You?”
“I was going to take Nesta out for a date to celebrate that it has been four years since she agreed to go on a date with me…”
Azriel laughed. “After you had panted after her for like two years you mean?”
“Exactly!” He smiled. Cassian sure seemed like a big brute the first time you met him, but he was actually a soft teddy bear. He was never ashamed when people mentioned that he had been trying to win Nesta over for years before she agreed to date him. He just felt like he had won a prize. It was very sweet.
“However,” he continued. “She has to work late. Apparently, one of her authors had plagiarized fanfiction, which Nesta found out about like a week before the book went to print. So obviously, Nesta is livid and I do not want to be close to her until this is resolved.”
Nesta owned a publishing company that focused on publishing romance novels, which didn’t surprise anyone. Nesta had always loved romance books. In her words; the smuttier, the better. Azriel always found them a bit cringy. It was like reading porn. But truth be told, he had read a few books that Nesta had recommended, and they had taught him a thing or two.
“What the hell is fanfiction?” he asked Cassian.
Cassian shrugged. “I’m not completely sure, but apparently this author had just copied something from the internet and changed the names of the characters and sent it in as a manuscript.”
“Weird. I understand that Nesta is pissed.”
“Yeah. So, you wanna do something? Take out and a game?”
“No, I can’t,” Azriel lied.
“You just said that you didn’t have any plans.”
Fuck.
“Yeah, well. I said that I didn’t have any special plans, not that I didn’t have any plans.”
Implying that his date with Elain was “not special” made him feel like shit.
Cassian eyed him suspiciously. “You’re going on a date.”
“What? no.”
Cassian laughed and slapped Azriel’s back. “Yes, you are. You have that date-look all over your face.”
“What the hell is a date-look?” he asked, but Cassian didn’t answer.
“Who are you going out with? Do I know her? Is she hot?”
Azriel held up a hand to stop the onslaught of questions. “You don’t know her,” he lied.
Cassian grinned. “So, you are going on a date?”
“You just said that I had a date-face?”
“Yeah, that was a lucky guess. So, what’s her name?”
“None of your business, Cass.”
“Wow, what a beautiful name,” Cassian teased. “But I get it. You like being secretive. Can you at least tell me how you met?”
“The internet.”
Cassian let out a fake gasp. “Stop the presses and hold your horses. Azriel downloaded a dating app? Can pigs fly now, too?” He made a point of looking out the window.
“Ha-ha, very funny.” Azriel slung his bag over his shoulder and started walking towards the elevator. Cassian was just behind him.
“So, can I see a photo?”
“No.”
“What if you’re getting catfished?”
“I’m not.”
“Well, you can never be sure. One time, this girl, or actually, it was an old man…”
“Cass, please. Just let it go,” Azriel interrupted. “There’s a reason why I never tell you guys when I go on dates.”
“Dates? You’ve been going on multiple dates without telling me? I’m wounded, Azriel.”
Azriel rolled his eyes and stepped into the elevator. When the elevator reached the ground floor, Azriel got out. Cassian had his car in the underground parking garage. Just before the doors closed, Cassian called out for Azriel. “You might need this.” He threw something at Azriel, and Azriel didn’t see what it was until he caught it.
It was a condom.
With a grin, Cassian disappeared behind the big, metal elevator doors.
Azriel shook his head and looked down at the small foil packet in his hand. Cassian really was the worst.
A few hours later, Azriel was almost ready to leave for the date. He was wearing black trousers and a dark grey knitted sweater. And blue socks. Cobalt blue, to be exact. Azriel had a thing about colorful socks. He mostly dressed in black, but he didn’t own a single pair of black socks. These blue socks were his favorites, though. He loved cobalt blue.
Azriel was checking the route to the bar when an incoming phone call made his phone vibrate (he had put his phone on mute and deleted Barbie Girl from his phone, thank god!).
It was Elain calling.
Azriel felt his heart drop. Nobody called just before a date unless they wanted to cancel.
With a sigh, he answered the phone. He tried to sound cheery. “Hello, Elain.”
“Azriel! I’m so happy you picked up.” She sounded out of breath.
“Anything wrong?” Azriel asked.
“Well. Kind of… have you left your apartment yet?”
“No, not yet. Why?”
There was a short pause, and Azriel could have sworn that he heard her swear under her breath.
“Well, I won’t be able to make it. I’m so sorry. And I’m so sorry for calling this late. I was really looking forward to our date, I promise.” She really did sound apologetic.
“Has anything happened?” Azriel asked, suddenly a bit worried.
“No… Or actually, yes. I fell when I got out of the shower earlier. I thought that I just needed to rest, but I can’t walk,” she let out a pained laugh. “I’m such a clutz.”
Azriel hated that she was trying to make light of the situation. He hated that she was hurt. “Elain. If you can’t walk, you should probably go to the ER,” Azriel said.
“Oh, no. I called my neighbor. Madja. She’s a doctor. She said that I had just sprained my ankle.”
“Okay…” Azriel didn’t know what else to say.
“Can we reschedule?” Elain asked. “I really wanted to see you tonight.”
Azriel was used to being rejected. He was used to not trusting new people. But somehow, he trusted Elain when she said that she wanted to see him.
“Of course we can reschedule. I was really looking forward to meeting you too.”
“Really?” He could hear the smile in her voice. It made him smile.
“Yes. I’m av…”
Azriel was interrupted by a hiss from Elain.
“Are you okay?” he asked, ready to steal a car, drive over her to her place, and get her to the hospital. Maybe it was a good thing that he didn’t know her address.
“Mhm, I’m fine. I just.. moved.”
“Elain. Do you have a friend or family member coming over to help you?”
There was a stretch of silence. “No, I’m fine. I don’t need help.” Her tone was too positive and cheery. Azriel didn’t believe her one bit.
“Have you had dinner?”
“I was planning on making some instant ramen.”
Azriel frowned. “And how are you going to do that when you can barely move? Also, that’s not good enough for dinner.”
She didn’t answer for a while. “I’m fine. I promise.” He could hear her voice break on the last syllable. She was not fine.
“Elain. Please, will you let me get you some food? I don’t have to come in if you don’t want me to. Just, let me get you something to eat.”
“You don’t have to…”
“I want to. If you’re willing to give me your address, I’ll be there in just a bit.”
She hesitated. “You probably have something better to do.”
“I don’t. Now please, let me get you some food.”
He didn’t just want to get her some food. He wanted to make sure that she was alright. He didn’t want her to sit all alone in her apartment when she couldn’t walk.
He wanted to take care of her.
After a small eternity, he could hear her whisper “Okay.”
45 minutes later, he was outside her building with sushi (she had said that she liked it) and a bag full of snacks. He didn’t know what she liked, so he had bought a little bit of everything.
A short, old lady walked out the door, and Azriel caught it with one hand. He didn’t want to call her and make her come to the door right now, so he snuck in.
Elain had told him that she lived on the sixth floor, so he quickly made his way up the stairs. He couldn’t risk being caught in an elevator right now.
He found the door with her name on it and raised his hand to knock. And then he froze.
What am I doing? he thought to himself. He had basically asked her for her address and then invited himself to bring her food. He knew that she had a bad history when it came to men. What if she just didn’t want to say no because she thought that it would hurt his feelings?
Azriel contemplated leaving the food outside the door and text her when he was a safe distance away.
“Azriel, is that you?” someone called from the apartment. Elain.
Azriel had to swallow the lump in his throat. “Yes,” he called back. “Do you want me to leave the food outside the door?”
“No, come in. The door is open.”
With a deep breath, Azriel gathered his courage and reached for the doorknob.
He walked into a small hallway that opened up to a quaint kitchen. Elain was nowhere in sight. The kitchen was bright and welcoming. The walls were painted light green and the cabinets were white. Azriel could see a few cookbooks on her windowsill, which made him smile. Most people didn’t own cookbooks nowadays - they just found recipes online.
“In here,” Elain called. Azriel made his way through the kitchen and into the living room. His first thought was that the room really seemed to fit Elain. The dark wooden floor was a nice contrast to the white walls. Not that you saw much of the walls since they were covered by a built-in bookshelf and a gallery wall full of botanical prints. And there were plants in every nook and cranny. There was a dark green velvet couch in the middle of the room, and on it sat Elain. Or actually, she was half-seated, half laying down. Her foot was propped up with a few pillows. There was a coffee mug on the table in front of her, and beside the couch, he could see a worn leather chair.
Elain was smiling at him as he entered the room. When he smiled back, she put the back of her hand against her forehead, which made her look like a damsel in distress from one of those old Hollywood movies. “You came for me,” she exclaimed in an awful fake southern accent. “My hero!”
Azriel couldn’t help but laugh. Elain was wearing black leggings and an oversized shirt. Her hair was gathered into a ponytail. She was beautiful, Azriel thought to himself as he sat down in the leather chair, giving her all the space she needed on the couch.
“How are you feeling?”
“Oh, I’m fine. Madja said that it seems to be a mild ankle sprain, and I should be up and running in like one to two weeks. Honestly, I feel more stupid than anything else.”
“Why?” Azriel asked.
“Well, I didn’t want to cancel our date. And who falls out of the shower? I really am the clumsiest person in Velaris,” she joked. “Yesterday, I dropped a full cup of coffee over my new, white shirt. And the day before that, I poked my friend Nuala in the eye with a flower.”
“You… poked her in the eye with a flower?”
Elain laughed. “Yes. Her eye was red for hours.”
Their eyes met for a brief moment, and Azriel thought that he could drown in those eyes. He wanted her to look at him forever.
But he didn’t want to intrude. “Do you want me to leave? I could just leave the food here with you.”
Elain bit her inner cheek, suddenly looking very nervous. “Would you...Didn’t you buy food for yourself?”
“I did. But I don’t have to eat with you if you want to be alone.”
“I…” she took a deep breath. “I don’t want to be alone.” It was barely a whisper.
“So, you want me to stay?”
Elain nodded, a lovely pink color spreading across her cheeks.
“Okay.” Azriel unpacked the sushi from the bag and offered her a choice of drinks. “We have lemon, elderflower, and regular coke. I didn’t know what you preferred.”
“Elderflower, please.”
She was still blushing. Azriel couldn’t tell if she was uncomfortable or just nervous.
Azriel handed her the drink and opened the coke for himself.
Elain sat up slowly and reached for her chopsticks. Since she had to sit with her leg raised, she couldn’t exactly lean over the coffee table, so Azriel placed the sushi on a pillow in her lap.
“Thank you,” she said and put a few pillows behind her back. From where he sat, he could only see the back of Elain’s head now. He wanted to move the chair so he could look at her, but he didn’t want to come off as creepy.
And he was actually quite happy that they couldn’t see each other when she took a bite of her food and let out a sigh. It was just a sigh, but somehow it was the most erotic sound Azriel had ever heard. He blushed and made a point of looking at his food.
“God, this is so good, Azriel. Thank you. I was really hungry.”
“When was the last time you ate?”
“Lunch,” she said under her breath and took another bite of sushi. Azriel looked at his watch. She hadn’t eaten in more than seven hours. And she was going to make instant ramen if he hadn’t shown up. Suddenly, he felt a bit better about the situation.
When Azriel looked up from his food, Elain was looking at him over her shoulder.
“Is this weird?” she asked. “Is it weird that I asked you to stay? I know it isn’t fun…”
“I kind of remember that I was the one who asked for your address, and then showed up at your doorstep with food. I promise that I wouldn't have done that if I didn’t want to. If anything, I’m weird for showing up like this.”
She laughed, but it was a sad laugh. “No, you’re not weird. You’re kind. I’m just not used to this.”
Azriel frowned. “Not used to what? Kindness?”
Elain looked away, but Azriel didn’t miss the slight nod. “My ex never came over when I was sick. He said that I was boring and that he had better things to do…”
Azriel felt his hands curl into fists. “Is this the same ex that cheated on you and now leaves hate on your videos?” he gritted out.
Another nod. “Yes. But there has been almost no hate since you helped me block those words.” She smiled at him, and he could tell that she wanted to change the subject.
“That’s good to hear.”
Azriel wanted nothing more than to ask where this asshole lived so he could go and kick his ass, but he tried to act civil for Elain’s sake.
“I’m sorry for talking about him,” she said. “You should never talk about exes on dates and…” Her eyes grew wide when she realized what she said. “Not that this is a date or anything,” she corrected herself. “I mean, it would be a pretty shitty date.”
She was flustered, and Azriel couldn’t hide the big grin on his face. She was so cute.
“Elain. Do you want this to be a date?”
“Do you?”
He knew that she needed to hear him say it. “Yes.”
A shy smile played on her face. “Me too.”
“Then it’s settled. This is our first date,” Azriel declared.
Elain’s smile grew. “So there’s a chance for more dates?”
“Don’t be greedy,” Azriel teased. Elain stuck out her tongue and turned around again, facing her food.
I want to taste that tongue, Azriel thought.
Damn those intrusive thoughts.
“I can’t believe that I’m wearing leggings on our first date.”
Azriel didn’t say anything to that. He could complain about anything that tight.
God, what was wrong with his brain tonight?
“You look so good, and I look like this,” she pointed at her hair. “I had even bought a new dress for tonight.”
This piqued Azriel’s interest. “Really? Tell me what it looks like and I can imagine you in it.”
Or out of it.
Stupid fucking brain.
Elain pointed somewhere behind Azriel. “Well, it’s right there.”
On a door that Azriel assumed led to her bedroom, hung a blue dress.
Cobalt blue.
His favorite color.
He grinned and pulled up one pant leg and showed her his sock “We would have matched.”
Elain let out a heartfelt laugh, which made Azriel all warm inside. He loved seeing her happy. He liked knowing that he was the reason for said happiness.
“I didn’t take you for a man that wears colorful socks,” she said, still laughing. “First Barbie Girl, and now colorful socks. I’m starting to think that there’s more to you than meets the eye.”
“Oh, I’m full of surprises.”
There was a stretch of silence again. It wasn’t uncomfortable though. Even though they didn’t know each other well yet, Azriel could already tell that Elain was one of those people that he just instantly could relax around.
“Elain, this might be a weird request. But can I move this chair so I’m not staring at the back of your head?”
Elain turned around, cheeks pink again. “Yes,” she answered quickly, almost as if she had thought about the same thing.
He picked up the chair and quickly moved it to the other side of the couch. When he met Elain’s gaze, she was staring at him, mouth agape.
“What?”
“You’re strong.”
Azriel scratched his neck and laughed nervously, feeling a bit self-conscious. “Yeah, I work out.”
Wow, what a stupid fucking answer.
But Elain didn’t seem to mind. No, she was looking at him more intently now, and her eyes were not focusing on his face anymore. No, they were most definitely looking at his chest. “I can tell,” she said playfully. This felt very much like flirting,
Azriel wondered what she would think of the tattoos covering his skin underneath the shirt.
Azriel tried to remember the conversation topics he had written down on his phone, and after a few minutes, they were talking as if they had known each other for years. Azriel was surprised that she was so easy to talk to. Most of the time, he struggled with social situations. But with Elain, he felt comfortable. At ease.
“You’re very easy to talk to,” he told Elain. She rewarded him with a smile.
“So are you. It feels like we have known each other forever. I never thought that someone that slid into my DM’s would ever be this nice.”
At those words, Nesta’s face popped into Azriel’s mind. He should tell Elain that he knows Nesta. If it wasn’t for her, he would never have known that Elain lived in Velaris. If it wasn’t for Nesta, he wouldn’t have happened to run past her store that morning.
“I have a confession to make,” he said before he could change his mind.
Elain raised her eyebrows. “Oh? Please don’t tell me you’re trying to get me to join a cult.”
“Has that happened before?”
Elain shrugged. “More often than you think.”
“I’m not trying to get you to join a cult. I just… I wanted to tell you that I think that we have some mutual friends.”
She didn’t look surprised, but she didn’t say anything either, so Azriel continued.
“You know Nesta, right? I think you went to college together…”
Elain nodded.
“Well, she’s getting married to my best friend Cassian. I didn’t know that you knew them when I wrote to you, I promise. But it felt weird pretending like we don’t have people in common when we do. I’m sorry for not telling you earlier. I found out last week when Nesta saw one of your videos on my phone and asked me if I was a stalker.”
Azriel was blushing now. He was expecting silence, or maybe questions. But instead, he was met with laughter.
“She thought you were a stalker?”
Azriel shrugged, unable to find any good words.
“Well, I might also have a confession to make,” Elain announced. “I actually knew that you were friends with Nesta. That’s why I even answered your DM in the first place.”
“What?” Azriel couldn’t find better words than that.
“Yeah, when I scrolled through your Instagram I saw a photo from Rhysand’s and Feyre’s wedding, so I kind of figured out who you were then. Nesta had mentioned you once or twice before, so I knew you weren’t a creep. And then I saw that selfie when you were carrying a lasagna, and you looked so good, so I answered your DM.” Her blush had almost turned a deep red.
Azriel couldn’t help but grin. “You answered because I looked hot? You said that the lasagna looked tasty…”
She bit her lip to keep from laughing. “Want to hear another confession?”
Azriel nodded.
“Well, I kind of understood how to block words from the link you sent me, but I really wanted to talk to you more.”
Azriel’s mouth fell open in pretend shock. “Sneaky girl.”
“I’m sorry for not telling you earlier. I just…”
“No, no. It’s okay,” Azriel interrupted. “Do you want to hear another of my confessions?”
“Yes, please.”
Azriel put his elbows in his knees and leaned forward. He could tell that her eyes went to his biceps. Good.
“Well, when I first saw one of your videos, I thought that you might be the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.”
Elain blushed even more, the color spreading to her chest. Not that Azriel was looking there.
“Really?”
“Yes. And when we talked on the phone, you know, that time when you lied about needing my help,” Azriel winked at her. “I hadn’t laughed that much in ages. I was so bummed because I thought that you lived on the other side of the country or something.”
“But I didn’t.” She smiled.
“You didn’t.” He smiled back.
They spent the entire night in Elain’s living room, just talking. Without even noticing it, a few hours went by. When they finished the sushi, Azriel made a snack buffet on the coffee table, which made Elain laugh.
“We are going to be so sick if we eat all of this.”
“Well, someone told me that she might be bedridden for more than a week, so maybe you could save some for the upcoming days of rest and relaxation.”
“Sounds like a plan,” she said and reached for the popcorn.
They continued flirting for the rest of the evening, but nothing explicit happened. They didn’t touch. Didn’t kiss. They just talked. It was all Azriel could have dreamt of. He had never felt so comfortable so quickly with anyone before. When it was close to midnight, he could tell that Elain was getting tired. After her fifth yawn, Azriel told her that he should probably get going.
She protested and then yawned again.
“Okay, I admit defeat,” she said and stretched. Azriel could see her stomach when her shirt rode up from the motion. It looked so wonderful and soft and…
He didn’t even have time to finish his thought, because Elain was trying to stand up by herself. Trying, and failing miserably.
“Could you help me to the bathroom?” she whispered and nodded to a white door just by the kitchen.
“Of course,” Azriel put his arm around her waist and supported her. She didn’t complain, but he could see the pain on her face. It hurt him to see her like this.
“I’m just gonna brush my teeth. Don’t go just yet.” She closed the door. Azriel leaned against the wall next to the door and dragged his hands through his hair.
He looked around the room, not quite believing that he was here. In Elain’s home.
This date had been even better than he could ever have imagined. He was actually quite happy that they hadn’t gone out, but he obviously didn’t like that the reason for staying home was that she was hurt.
The door opened again, and Elain looked at Azriel with a pale face. She was so obviously in pain. Azriel grabbed her around the waist again and held her up.
“Do you have any painkillers?”
She nodded. “By the bed. Could you help me? Just to the door.”
Azriel started leading the way, but after two steps Elain winced.
Azriel couldn’t take it anymore. “Hold on,” he warned her, and then he picked her up. She gasped and flung her arms around his neck. This was the closest they had ever been. One of his fingers graced the hem of her shirt. He could feel her skin there. He had to take a deep breath. “Is this okay?”
“Mhm,” she breathed, and he walked her to her room. He stopped at the door. It was a cozy bedroom. The walls were painted a dark blue and above her bed hung a giant painting with a floral motif in a gold frame.
“Nice room,” he said. He didn’t put her down. She had said that she only needed help to the door, but he couldn’t see her walking to her bed all by herself,
“Thank you.”
“Do you want me to...” he started, but he was interrupted when Elain said his name.
“Azriel,” she repeated.
He looked at her then, her face just inches from his. He could see every freckle on her skin. He could count every eyelash. His eyes went to her plush lips, and then back to her eyes.
Had she noticed?
She had his attention now.
“Azriel,” she whispered. “Are you going to kiss me?”
Azriel was taken aback. He hadn’t expected that question. He didn’t mind, of course not. he was just surprised. She could probably see that in his eyes, because she quickly tried to smooth over it. “I mean, we don’t have to. I completely understand if you don’t want to, and I..”
Azriel kissed her temple to make her quiet. It worked very well. “You’re hurt.”
“Just my ankle,” Elain pouted. “Also, haven’t you ever heard the saying ‘kiss it better’?”
Azriel rolled his eyes. “I’m pretty sure that it means that you should kiss the place that hurts,” he teased.
“Eh, semantics. I think a kiss on the lips might do wonders.”
Azriel leaned in, almost touching his lips to her. Almost. “Oh, is that what you think?” he teased.
“Mhm,” she breathed.
Azriel stayed like that for a while, his lips just out of reach. He wanted her to beg. He wanted her to go crazy with want. With need.
But that was for another time. Right now, he just needed to kiss her.
Elain was tilting her head to get closer to him. Her mouth was slightly parted and her eyes scanned his before fluttering shut.
Offer and permission.
Azriel leaned in slowly and brushed his lips to hers. It was a feathery light touch. He could feel Elain shiver in his arms, and he held her closer. Tighter. He touched her lips with his again, and he knew he needed more. He tasted her lips once more, his tongue teasing her lower lip. Elain opened up for him, letting him in. She moaned when he deepened the kiss. When he pressed his lips more firmly to hers. When her tongue joined his. They were both panting, unable to stop. Elain’s hands went to Azriel’s hair, gently scraping his scalp while her tongue tangled with his. The sensation made Azriel crazy, and if she hadn’t been injured he would have lowered her to the bed and continued his kisses down her body until she was writhing underneath him, begging for more.
But she was hurt. And it was late.
Unwillingly, Azriel slowed down before breaking the kiss.
“More,” Elain panted and kissed his jaw.
Azriel chuckled. “Don’t be greedy.”
She pouted when he walked over to her bed, and it was the cutest pout Azriel had ever seen. It was so cute in fact, that he had to lean in again and kiss her lower lip. He didn’t know how it happened, but he was suddenly sitting on Elain’s bed with her in his lap. He was still holding her tight, her fingers still in his hair. Their lips were locked in another kiss. This one was even hotter. Even deeper. Azriel thought to himself that he didn’t need air if he could just taste these lips for the rest of his life.
After a small eternity, they did have to break apart though. Turns out the human body needs air. Stupid body.
Elain leaned her forehead against his.
“I should go,” Azriel said, even though every fiber of his being protested that statement.
She nodded. “Okay.” She was still out of breath. So was he.
Elain kissed his forehead, which made him feel oddly safe. “So, can I have a second date?”
Azriel chuckled and nuzzled her neck. She smelled divine. He wanted nothing more than to taste her there; just below her ear.
“You can have as many dates as you want.”
“Good to know.” He could hear the smile in her voice.
After a few minutes of catching their breaths, Azriel helped Elain into bed. He fetched her a glass of water for the painkillers and made sure that all her windows were closed.
He leaned against her doorframe, trying to memorize the sight of her in bed. She looked so cute. So vulnerable.
“Could you lock the door when you leave? My keys are on the kitchen counter. You can just put them in the mailbox.”
“Of course.” Azriel walked into her room again and leaned over her. He kissed the top of her head and caressed her cheek with his thumb. “Sleep well, Elain.”
“You too, Azriel.”
She was already drifting off.
Azriel walked quietly through the apartment and made sure that the door was locked behind him.
Azriel was walking home on clouds that evening.
In his bones, he could feel that this was the start of something wonderful.
When he climbed into bed that night, he saw a new message from Elain. She must have sent it just after he left her place. He opened the message, and there was no text. Just an audio file.
He pressed play and was immediately met with her heavenly voice.
“I thought that this might help you sleep,” Elain whispered, and Azriel could feel tingles up and down his spine. “Thank you for a wonderful date, Azriel.”
And then she repeated his name. For five minutes, she was whispering “Azriel, Azriel, Azriel,” over and over again, and it made Azriel both sleepy and aroused.
It was actually a very pleasant feeling, he thought to himself as he drifted off to sleep.
That night, he dreamt about brown eyes, golden hair, and the sweetest lips he had ever tasted. Azriel had never felt better.
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glitxhwayventeen · 3 years
Text
She Keeps Me Warm
Mingyu: Chapter 1 (Honey, Honey)
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Characters: Mingyu x female reader
Genre/Warnings: multi-member au (different scenarios), werewolf au, fantasy, smut, angst, fluff, potential blood mentions, genocide, mentions of cheating, sexual references/jokes, unrequited love, death mentions, violence. Any others will be put as warnings when future chapters are thought up/written.
Author’s Note: I recommend listening to Honey, Honey from the movie Mamma Mia! Because I think it sets the mood I’m trying to make for these first chapters. Please also know that I have no problem with people sleeping with who they want to sleep with, it’s just in the particular story line, there’s a lot of jokes made about it in good fun!
Please remember that all of these chapters and the content within them are a work of fiction! They’re just for fun/entertainment!
Bold= Dialogue Italics= Thoughts
🥀
She Keeps Me Warm… Master List
Chapter 1: Honey, Honey
Let’s just say, Mingyu didn’t start off on the best foot with you. When you were carried into their home all beaten and bloody, he was upstairs getting busy with a um… friend. That alone made you uncomfortable as you weren’t used to sexual things. But it just got worse when you asked the other boys if that was a regular occurrence and they said yes, not realizing yet that you two were mates. Once you both found yourselves feelings a woozy haze take over you after your eyes met for the first time, you knew what it meant. But you didn’t like it. He tried to say hi to you that day and you full on sprinted the other way. Mingyu had scared you away before he even had the chance introduced himself.
Needless to say, he felt awful. He wanted you, he wanted you so bad, but you wanted nothing to do with him. It wasn’t that you were upset that he had been sleeping around a lot, you didn’t know him and he was a grown adult, he could do whatever he wanted. But the thought of being his mate made you feel… uneasy. I mean, he had slept with sooooo many people and you… well… you hadn’t slept with anyone. You knew nothing sexual at all. The boys would make these jokes and you’d just sit there not understanding the hidden innuendos behind them. You’d even seem to get uncomfortable when they were brought up. Almost as uncomfortable as you got when you had to stay too close to Mingyu without someone else present.
It became obvious relatively quickly that you didn’t like being left alone with Mingyu. It wasn’t that you were scared of him or anything. I mean, he may have been taller than you and probably stronger than you, but he seemed like a good person from what you could tell. You knew he would never hurt you, he was your mate after all. He’d rather die than hurt you. So part of you trusted him, at least you thought you did, but according to the other boys there wasn’t a day that went by that he wasn’t ushering three girls at once up to his room. That thought alone was enough to make your blood run cold. How were you ever supposed to be with someone who needed sex THAT often when you’ve never even done it or felt the need to before?
You refused to even acknowledge the idea of actually being with him and instead focused on trying to make friends with the boys in your new pack. You and Mingyu hadn’t ACTUALLY admitted to being mates to each other yet. So technically, you weren’t denying him by not being with him. It just stung like a bitch. But as long as you didn’t actually hurt him by keeping your distance, you were okay. Part of your heart did love him after all, you didn’t want anything to happen to him because of you.
The boys took to you relatively fast, they thought of you as a little sister they could joke around with. You loved it, you hadn’t had a big family in a long time so being around them kind of… made you feel whole again.
-
Mingyu was beside himself. He wasn’t sure what he should do. The pull to you was strong, so strong that a lot of the time he’d sleep outside your bedroom door just to be closer to you. But you seemed to want nothing to do with him. You weren’t mean to him, you weren’t mean to anyone, but that didn’t mean you actually wanted to ever be around him. You always made sure there was someone else around when you could potentially be left alone with him. If no one was around, you’d just straight up leave the house. He was at a complete loss, every girl has always wanted him, every girl but you. He didn’t know how to handle this situation. So he did what he always did during his time of need, he asked Wonwoo for advice.
“What should I do Wonu? She hates me!” He complained to his best friend as he raked his hand through his dark locks while sitting on the bed.
“She doesn’t hate you. I doubt that girl could hate anyone. She’s too sweet. She just… doesn’t know what else to do” Wonwoo explained while looking over his book, fixing the glasses that always seemed to want to fall off his sharp nose.
“But why? What did I do? She’s my mate. I want to be around her all the time but she acts like I have the plague or something!” Mingyu groaned while throwing himself back onto Wonwoo’s bed while putting his hands over his face in defeat.
“She’s just scared Gyu. You’re basically a sex addict and she’s never even kissed anyone. How would you react if you were her?” Wonwoo responded back, clearly annoyed that he had to explain everything to his brother.
Mingyu pushes his hands away from his face and looks back at his brother, “How do you know she hasn’t?” He questioned.
“It’s pretty obvious no? Soonyoung and Jeonghan always make their stupid ass jokes and she looks lost as fuck. When she saw that girl coming out of your room and run to the door the day she woke up after she was attacked, her eyes got so big they looked like they’d literally pop out of her head. She’s clearly very innocent and no offense man but you just… aren’t.” Wonwoo added, trying to reveal your complete obliviousness to him. He couldn’t believe it though. How had he not even realized that his mate was scared shitless to be around him because she thought he was a sex demon??
“Oh God!” Mingyu grabbed the pillow sitting next to him and shoved it over his face, “She thinks I’m the world’s biggest man whore and she’s practically the Virgin Mary! No wonder she’s running away from me!” He mumbled through the pillow.
“Yeah, she’s probably scared she’ll catch something from you” Wonwoo half joked, earning a fluffy pillow to the face from his younger brother.
“Shut up I’m clean and I would never!” Mingyu said storming out of Wonwoo’s room and going down the hall to yours. You had said you needed to take a nap, pulling all that silver out of your body took it’s toll on you. But he HAD to find some way to talk to you.
He knocked on your door lightly. When he didn’t get a response he quietly opened the door to let himself in. You were passed out on top of your comforter. Poor thing, you must be exhausted. When he got closer, he realized you were just in a pair of panties and a big t-shirt the boys had given you. The silver made anything that touched your bare skin hurt you, so they figured the bigger the clothes, the better. He saw your perfect little face scrunched up in sleepy bliss and smiled to himself. God, you were adorable. He HAD to fix this with you.
He sat on the edge of your bed and gently shook your small shoulders, keeping in mindful to be careful of your still healing injuries.
“(Y/N), can I talk to you?” He asked softly, looking at you with a sweet smile.
You opened your eyes and rubbed them slightly to help take away some of the blurriness sleep brought. When they became clear again, you notice that it was Mingyu that had woken you up.
“Mingyu! What are you doing here?” You questioned nervously, sitting up as best you could considering your body felt like you had been hit by a train.
“Please don’t be mad. I knocked but you were still passed out. I didn’t want to wake you from your sleep, but I didn’t think that you’d want to talk to me later if we were around other people. I’d like to talk to you” he continued, slightly biting his lip partially from his own nervousness and partially from seeing your sleep shirt now ridden up to your body, leaving you panties on full display. Control yourself Gyu. “Is that okay?” He asked with loving eyes.
“Uh… I guess so. What did you want to talk about?” You responded hesitantly, still out of it from your slumber
“I wanted to talk about us.” He said, clearly talking about your imprinting on each other.
“Oh.” You said looking down at your lap and grabbing the back of your neck. As you looked down, you realized your current vulnerable state and quickly pushed yourself under your covers, disregarding the pain that was sent through your veins from moving so fast.
“I’m sorry. I know you don’t want to bring the subject up. But I was thinking about it and I really needed to speak to you.” He honestly spoke, trying his very best to read your still unsure face.
“Okay. That’s fine I suppose.” You decided, “what about us?”
“Are you upset with me?” He questioned, eyes full of hurt and dismay. Seeing him so upset over even just saying the question hurt your heart. You wanted to take him into a big hug and tell him that you weren’t, but truthfully, you didn’t know what you felt.
“No, I don’t think so. I dont see why I would be.” You answered, shrugging your shoulders.
“Because of what I’ve done I mean. Are you upset with me for… seeing other people?” He let out, not really sure how he should say what he meant.
“You’re a grown wolf Mingyu, you can do what you want. Plus, I have no right to be upset. I’m not your girlfriend. It’s not like you cheated on me or anything.” You let out with a dry humorless chuckle.
“But you’re my mate. I can see that your weary of me, and I know it’s from that. I want to fix it. I just don’t know how” He said with tears in his large eyes. Did he have to look like a kicked puppy? “I want to be with you. It’s killing me that you hardly even look at me, let alone talk to me. But I know you don’t want to because of all that. How can I fix this?” Was let out after a tear slipped down his chiseled cheek.
“Mingyu, I know you aren’t a bad person. You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s just… me” you took a breath before you continued, trying you best not to look him in the eyes. “I dont know how we’ll work together. You need… a lot of attention. And I’ve never… given anyone attention before. And from what I’ve heard, when that happens with you and girls, you turn to other girls and… I don’t want that. I think it’s best if we just stay where we are.” You exclaimed, holding back the tears of embarrassment that were brought to your eyes.
“But (Y/N), I’d NEVER do that to you. You’re my mate, I want you to be happy. I want YOU. No one else. That kind of thing isn’t important to me anymore.” He earnestly told you, grabbing your hand and stroking the back of it with his thumb to get you to see that he meant his words.
“Mingyu, you shouldn’t have to change that for me. It’s who you are. And that’s… that’s okay. I just can’t take the heartbreak of being cheated on for not being enough for you” You let out with a sad sigh, now looking at your hands that we’re connected.
Your skin felt like it was on fire from the minimal contact. You wanted him so badly. But you were just too scared of his past coming back to bite you in the ass. You couldn’t help it. You don’t want to think that way, but how could you not? From the stories the others had told you, it’s what he always did. How were you supposed to believe that that would stop just because you came around? He’d cheated on girls before, what’s to say he wouldn’t cheat on you too?
“(Y/N)… I-” Mingyu started, tears falling down his face in streams now.
“Please Mingyu. I just can’t do this right now. I’m too sick and too tired. I’m too inexperienced to be with you. You know that. Maybe someday… it’ll change. But for now-” you sniffled, “For now I think we should just stay friends. I think you should go. I need to rest now.” You let go of his hands and lay back down, turning your body to face your window with your back to him.
Once he saw you turn around, he knew this conversation needed to be over for you. He knew how tired you must have been, so he got up and went to the door. He looked back at you one more time, letting out a small whine from deep within his chest at your crying figure, before he went out of your room.
He went in Wonwoo’s room again, looking absolutely defeated and crushed. He landed on his bed with a muffled thud. He knew Wonwoo had heard the whole conversation due to his wolf hearing abilities.
“You alright Gyu?” He questioned, knowing full well that he was in fact, the exact opposite of alright.
“She rejected me Woo. She doesn’t want to be with me.” He said, the tears freely falling. He wasn’t even trying to hide them at this point. He felt like giving up.
“Technically she didn’t.” Wonwoo spoke.
“… What do you mean she didn’t? Of course she did! You heard the whole thing!” He growled out in a mixture of sadness and anger.
“She said maybe someday. She didn’t deny you. She just… differed you. There’s still a chance…” Wonwoo added.
He was right. You said maybe someday. You said for now. Maybe if he could prove to you that he could stay with just one girl, you’d want him. Maybe if he could show you that he only wanted you, you’d want him. And that realization made him so happy, he got up from Wonwoo’s bed and threw his arms around him, nearly crushing the poor wolf.
“You’re right! I’ll show her! I can do it!” Mingyu said while planting a sloppy kiss on his brothers cheek, annoying the hell out of him. But he was so happy, he didn’t even care about his brothers disgust. He was gonna get you to see how much he loved you even if it killed him.
Another Author’s Note: I hated that I basically just made Mingyu sound like another insatiable frat guy. I didn’t mean to. But for the purposes of this story, that’s kind of where it had to lead. I don’t really think he’s like this irl. Even if he is, I don’t judge. Again, it’s just for the story.
(Updated 7/27)
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oddshelbyout · 3 years
Text
Ready Or Not // Thomas Shelby X Fem!Reader
Summary: You are the long term girlfriend of Tommy, he asks you to marry you but you’re not sure. You run away after a fight and he looks for you.
Warnings: Angst, Swearing, Fighting
Word Count: 1537
Taglist: @captivatedbycillianmurphy
Author’s Note:
English is not my first language and I’m not always confident about my work so please let me know if I make any mistakes or anything I can fix in my writing.
I’ll make a masterlist soon so it will be easier for us all to find my works.
This one was a hard one to write for me and I’m not sure if some parts turned out well but I still hope you’ll enjoy it.
Requests are open. You can request any Peaky Blinders related imagines or prompts for me to write. I’m a minor so I don’t take NSFW requests, please keep that in mind.
You can ask to be added to my taglist. You can be tagged to works on a specific character or just any of my works. Please dm me or send your wish to my ask box if you’d like to be added.
———————
The sun had just started rising. Sunshine was leaking into Tommy’s study room between the curtains. He opened his eyes slowly, he couldn’t believe it was already the morning.
He was exhausted, not getting enough sleep was never a problem for him but when he woke up that morning he felt extremely tired. That tiredness wasn’t because of the lack of sleep though. As he got up from the couch he was laying on, he remembered what happened last night.
He and you had a big fight last night. It was a fight neither of you could forget. It was also your first big fight because you always understood him better than everyone else.
He walked to his desk, grabbed a cigarette and lit it. He looked around the room like he was looking for something. He had slept in the study room last night because you wouldn’t let him sleep with you. He could’ve slept in any other room in the house but he chose the study room instead for a reason he can’t recall.
Tommy was drunk when he got home the night before. That wasn’t unusual but that time, he was extra irrational, more irrational than you ever saw him.
He remembered finding you in the kitchen, baking in the middle of the night. You wouldn’t let the staff do it for you because you needed a distraction.
He entered the kitchen, barely walking straight. “Have you made up your mind?” he asked you, you hadn’t noticed him walk in before he started speaking.
“Yes.” you said simply as you poured your cake mix into a pan. “So you’ll marry me.” he said, you weren’t looking at him but you knew he had that impression he had on his face when he won.
“No I won’t.” you said sharply, you dropped the pan on the counter to even the batter, it made a loud noise. Tommy didn’t like the noise, found it threatening.
Tommy didn’t say anything, you looked at him, seeing his jaw clenched and obviously angry. “No need to be bitter Tom, I’m just not ready.” you confessed. You knew he probably wouldn’t understand that.
“Who wouldn’t want to marry Thomas Fucking Shelby?” he shouted when there was no reason to be so loud. You just stared at him and “Me, for now.” you mumbled.
“You live in my house, sleep in my bed and you don’t want to marry me huh?” he said loudly, not as loud as before though. You nodded, you really didn’t want to deal with angry Tommy at that moment.
“I’m not ready Tom!” you shouted, you were starting to get really angry. You pushed the cake pan into the oven.
“What are you waiting for? To get pregnant or me leaving my job? That’s what everyone else wants me to!” he shouted again. You couldn’t bear to hear him shout.
“I’m not ready because I haven’t told my parents about us yet!” you shouted back. Your parents were strict and your dad was a Lord, they would never ever let you marry him. They didn’t even know you were in Birmingham with him. They just assumed you were in your London home.
“Damn it Y/N!” he shouted again, he was getting more furious with each passing second. “I thought you were the kind who never listened to anyone! You don’t listen to me after all!” you hated that he said that.
“I listen to you and to be honest, I’m the only one who listens to you!” the walls of the room vibrated with your extremely loud voice. “Then marry me! We don’t need their permission!” you two just shouted at each other, back and forth.
“Fuck you Tommy! I’ll marry you when I want to!” you walked to him, stood right before his toes. He reached for your neck, “No Tommy, you won’t touch me, I won’t let you treat me like a pet.” you stopped his strong hands in a single motion.
“You will marry me.” he didn’t shout this time, he said softly, almost like he was begging. Tommy Shelby wasn’t the kind of person who begged, he was the person people begged to.
“I’m going to bed and I’m not gonna share it with you.” you sharply said. His lips parted like he was going to say something but you didn’t let him. “You either accept that I will marry you when I want or this is over.” you weren’t going to let Tommy have the last word. He was so used to having the last word and that had to change. Luckily, you were the only one to do so.
You started walking away, “Tell the maids to take the cake out.” you didn’t turn around to say that and just left the kitchen.
You expected Tommy to come to the room, at least try to sleep with you but he didn’t. You accepted that it was your time to leave, you believed that he wanted you to leave. You couldn’t sleep after that. You wrote a quick note, the small piece of paper just had “Goodbye.” written on it. You grabbed as much of your belongings as you could, left the note on the bedside table and left the house.
When Tommy woke up, he just assumed you were upstairs sleeping. He expected you to come down, ask him to apologise to you. He sat on his chair, reading his mail as he waited for you. That was when he woke up to what was happening.
He stormed out of his study, called in a maid to ask about you. The answer didn’t amuse him. He remembered the last thing you said but he just didn’t want to believe that would be what you did.
No matter how persuasive he was on the maid, she didn’t know where you went so he had no idea either. He got in his car, drove to Small Heath. He assumed you would go to Ada’s apartment because she was your friend.
He knocked on the door, “Where is she?” he asked his sister. Ada looked confused, “Who?” she had no idea what was going on. “Y/N! Who else could it be?” he shouted, it was too early in the morning for Ada to put up with Tommy’s bullshit.
“How would I know?” Ada asked, Tommy was more sad than angry but he had no idea how to show it properly. Ada saw Tommy as angry and nothing else. “You’re her friend!” he said, “Yes but I’m not responsible for her.” Ada was direct with her words. “Okay, get back inside.” Tommy said to her and left, he heard the door shut after him.
Tommy hopped back into his car and started driving to London. He couldn’t waste time knocking on every single door in Small Heath. He could feel you were in London if you were not with Ada.
After a long drive that felt longer than it was, he stopped his car in the middle of the street you lived in. Didn’t care what anyone would react to that. He tried to stay calm and knocked on your door as gentle as he could.
“Y/N please open!” Tommy said, you were behind the door, trying to decide what to say. You weren’t sure if you should open the door or not. You believed he was going to force you to marry and it was the last thing you wanted, making that clear last night.
“Go away Tommy!” you shouted behind the door. You started walking away from the door when you heard his voice again. “I will wait My Love.” you froze in the hallway. You just couldn’t believe he changed his mind and was going to do what you wanted instead of pushing his wishes on you.
“I will only open the door if you are serious.” you took a deep breath. He hurt you a lot last night, you weren’t going to accept any of his behaviour anymore.
“I am.” he said so softly that you could barely hear that. You opened the door, Tommy stood before you, hands closed in fists. His body obviously relaxed when he saw you.
“I’m sorry.” he said, he never apologised and this was the first time you expected him to do so. “I will wait until you are ready and ask your parents myself if I must.” you couldn’t believe what you heard.
You never saw him vulnerable and now he stood before you, with his guard completely down, asking for your forgiveness.
“Are you serious?” you asked, you couldn’t process seeing him like that. “Yes.” he said and nodded. You fell on him, put your arms around him. You hugged for a whole minute, it didn’t feel that long. You were both just very happy to have each other in your arms.
You pulled yourself back a little and just gave him a small kiss. “I love you Tommy Shelby.” and you smiled, “What if we stay in London for a while?” he asked you. You smiled bigger and just nodded.
Last night was rough but Tommy finally understood how important you were for him and accepted your terms.
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Poems in the Dark
Paring: Loki x Reader
Word Count: 1,610
Warnings: None
Posted: 20/01/2021
Loki Taglist: @lucywrites02 @gaitwae
A/N: I couldn't find a fitting poem for this one shot, so i made my own. I hope its not terrible 🙏
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Loki living in the tower was something you never thought you'd get used to. But after a couple of months of him not trying to kill anyone, you trusted him quite quickly. Tony on the other hand wouldn't let him anywhere near you unless supervised. You never got a moment alone with him. But you wanted to. During the time he's been here, you noticed the small things that others wouldn't. The way his eyes would cry silent tears. The way his body moved with his emotions. The way that words from the others affected him. You noticed it all, and developed feelings for the man. Of course, you couldn't let anyone know, well except for Natasha. She could see through any lie. But she promised not to tell anyone.
Luck seemed to be on your side today, everyone was on a mission, and Tony had reluctantly left you and Loki alone in the tower. You were a fighter. The avengers always tried to find time to train you. Tony had no choice but to leave you there alone, with Loki. The God of Mischief himself. He feared the worst when he left. But you had reassured him that you could handle yourself if Loki tried anything. Even though you knew he wouldn't. Having time to yourself was unusual, yet calming. You had sat down by the fireplace reading your favourite book of poems. You hardly had time to read anymore, so you took your chance to do so now. But as you got halfway through your book, the lights went out. You weren't exactly afraid of the dark. But being an Avenger, you knew it was bad news. Placing your book on the table and grabbing your dagger from the holster around your thigh, you headed to the fusebox. Was it tampered with, or was it just a normal blackout? By the time you got there, Loki was nearby unnoticed by you.
Noticing that it was a blackout you put your dagger back in its holster before swiftly turning and taking a step forward into a broad chest, belonging to the only other person in the building, Loki. Taking a step back, you apologized for bumping into him until you heard a low chuckle coming from him. You couldn't see his face in the darkness but you could make out the small features of his face. He looked calm, from what you could tell.
"The power's out, we should probably light the fire for some light" Starting a conversation with the man scared you, but the silence was deafening. Scrambling past him towards the fireplace, you placed the logs before lighting it. The orange glow hit the surface of your face which he studied from afar. You had grabbed your book from the table closeby and sat by the fire. He admired your love for books. It was one of the things you had in common. Yet you had never conversed, except for a friendly hello as you pass by each other, or the small talk when you had talked in groups. He couldn’t exactly read in his room anymore so he hesitantly sat down next to you facing the fire. He thought of how to bring up any conversation with you instead of staying silent. Then he noticed the book you were reading was one he had read a week prior.
“It seems you have great taste in the books you read. I have noticed the titles you read are mostly of the literary type.” Looking up at him you smiled. He never really liked conversing with anyone so the fact that he started one with you made your stomach fill with butterflies.
“Well yes, Tony doesn’t understand my love for reading, but there’s just something about the way they are written.-” You placed your book on your lap and your hands moved as you spoke, expressing your feelings within them. “-The way they take me out of reality, and into a different one, my imagination runs wild trying to see the images the authors are describing. It’s hard to talk about the stuff I enjoy when no one shares the same hobbies” You had realised you were rambling nonsense, looking down at the book in your lap grasping it in your hand as if it would be taken away if you let go.
“I share your admirations. Being centuries, old gives you time to read many more books that Midgardians could. I’m always craving knowledge, so I appreciate the Midgardian books that I have read in my time here.” Being stuck in the dark with the man you liked made you forget his love for books. Facing him once more you shuffled closer holding the book his direction, eyes sparkling with wonder.
“Have you read this one? I don’t read poems that often, but this one just called out to me.-” A soft giggle escaped your lips as you continued “-The poems show someone’s feelings in such few lines. It’s admirable really. Pouring your heart out in such a small amount of time. I wish I was as open as these poems were.” Sadness cascaded your features. Loki had taken the book from your grasp, causing you to glare at him playfully as he searched through the pages. He found the page he wanted and recited the poem to you.
The one person who helps me sleep at night.
“Within my darkness, you are the light,
The thought of you plagues my mind,
Though these feelings may be true,
For your heart is one, that’s so true, and kind.
Its something I can’t undo.
My love for you is something I hesitate,
I feel as though, you’re my soulmate.”
He refused to look at you as he closed the book and placed it down.
“I uh- That is one of my favourites. It kinda hits close to home, as you Midgardians would say.” He knew how smart you were, he figured you would figure out it was a confession quite quickly. But the silence made him more nervous than he was before. He daren’t speak a word. Waiting for your reply. When one didn’t come his eyes looked at your figure slowly, only to notice a single tear rolling down your cheek. His face was full of panic his flustered state not knowing what to do. He wiped the tear away while apologising profusely. You giggled at his actions facing your head down wiping the tears that continued to fall. He stayed silent at your laugh. The laugh that he adored was mixed with the tears he never wanted to see on your face. You looked up at him your voice but a whisper.
“You- You have feelings for me?” The shyness in your voice surprised him, you were always so outgoing, no one had ever seen you this quiet, or shy. He didn’t hesitate to reply, showing the sincerity in his voice.
“Yes. I know its stupid since we haven’t spoken-” He silenced at your interruption. Eyes fixed at your form, sitting in front of him.
“It’s not stupid, Loki. I get how you feel, because...I- I have feelings for you too” His eyes widened not expecting you to reciprocate his feelings. Neither of you knew what to do at this point. You were inexperienced with relationships. Being with S.H.I.E.L.D since you were 11, you were a trained assassin, much like Natasha, but seduction was one of your weaknesses. Loki might be centuries old, but he never had a genuine love interest. Thor was favoured by the women, as he was the one who always read, and never fought like a man since he used sorcery.
The fact that someone even had an interest in you made your heart flutter, but because it was him. Your heart burst. You took a leap of faith leaning in to kiss him, yet you hesitated. He had noticed, and closed the gap, placing his hand on your cheek, and the other on your knee. Your hand was placed against his chest, the other, you had palm down on the floor, using it for support. It was a kiss filled with passion, and the pure emotions you felt for each other. You didn’t know how long it was before you pulled away breathing in the oxygen your body lacked. He rested his forehead on yours, both breathing heavily, trying to catch your breath.
You both stayed in silence smiling at each other as you pulled away to take in his features in the low orange glow of the fire. It felt like hours that you were in his presence, but it was mere minutes before the power came back on. Letting your eyes adjust to the sudden light you missed the atmosphere the fire gave you. You got up and grabbed a spare blanket from your room and came back wrapping it around yourself and Loki before asking Friday to turn the lights off, so you could continue to enjoy each other's company in the atmosphere you had previously shared.
You had enjoyed his company slowly falling asleep to the peacefulness around you. He wrapped his arm around you as your head fell to his shoulder, falling asleep. Not long after, he did too.
Everyone had returned from their mission early that morning, but there you still slept, in the same position. The fire was out, but the small embers left on the logs showed it was used recently. You had awoken to Tony’s objection about how close you two were, and he was not happy. You had a lot of explaining to do.
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ennui-gt · 3 years
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Changeling
Author’s Note:
Hihi! Haven’t written anything in a while and was getting pretty itchy for it so I wrote this! I’m not, like, a professional or anything, and this is hella unedited, but I think this lil one shot came out alright! It’s fearplay-ish and Oh Boy is there Context, but it’s not needed to understand the story! Feel free to ask about context tho :3 Also, and I cannot stress this enough, if I don't respond to an ask, ask again and/or dm me bc tumblr just ate the damn thing.
Tw: rly brief mention of animal death/corpse, some bodily harm/violence.
Mira skirted silently along the the windowsill, the ghost of a long forgotten dread cloying at her heart as she watched the titanic man shift in his sleep. It had been a week or so, maybe two, since her human had been replaced by the thing that slept in his place.
The first hints of something being…not entirely Right with Ross came the first night. He didn’t call out to her. Instead, he simply walked in, sat on the couch. His face was devoid of emotion, hollow, eyes wide and unblinking as he stared straight ahead at cream colored drywall for hours before going to bed.
The second night, he’d brought over someone she’d never seen before. They chatted idly in a strange langue she didn’t quite understand, then the other human had left and it was back to vacantly gazing at drywall.
The third night was when she knew for certain that something was gravely wrong. He’d…well it hadn’t really been him, it didn’t even bear a resemblance to him at the time of, brought home the mangled corpse of a deer, throwing it on the table and devouring it in a mess of teeth and claws. And then…it looked like him again. Blood and viscera lined his mouth, but it was...his mouth. It wore his face.
The next night, the new friend was back again, and they talked more in that unfamiliar language. At one point voices were raised, and it ended in a ferocious hissing match. Mira left the next day for the woodland borrower village, taking what she’d learned with her.
She relayed what she’d learned to the elders, who gave her a word to put to the horrific creature that had overtaken her human. Changeling, they called him. They told her she was lucky to be alive, that she should stay in the village. It was warded and safe. She told them she’d rather risk it for her friend.
They told her that he was long gone, most likely. She told them to go to hell.
The Old Wisdom was rarely believed in this day and age, and even rarer were such superstitions to be trusted. She decided to take all precautions, lining the room’s egresses with a mixture of salt and linseed oil. She donned the armor she’d created as quietly as possible ‘til whole body was covered in pieces of iron held in place with string. It was an insult to a proper suit of armor, but as it glinted in the moonlight she noted that it would probably do the job just fine. Now, it was time to wake the bastard up. She nervously turned the iron nail over in her hands a few times, feeling the weight of it in her palms as she replayed the events that led her to this moment.
She hadn’t noticed the shadow eclipsing the moonlight pouring in from the window ‘til a gloved hand encompassed her body, completely restricting her movement. “Y’know, I almost thought you weren’t going to make a move.” Ross’s voice thundered around her, lacking all the gentleness it should’ve held.
“Let me go.” Mira replied, squirming in his grasp, “Let me go so I can fucking kill you.” she hissed.
He chuckled, the sound sending a fresh shot of ice through Mira’s veins. “Bold words, coming from a mouse.”
“I’m not a mouse, I’m a rat.” she corrected, biting through the glove with her serrated front teeth.
His grip loosened for a split second, but it was enough. She was free, scrambling up his arm in a mad dash with the iron nail clenched between her teeth. Once she got to the base of his neck, she jammed the nail between his vertebrae. It slid into his flesh like butter, burning a hole through the musculature and cartilage at a breakneck pace.
The creature howled, dropping to the ground like a sack of bricks. “TAKE IT OUT!” he roared, unable to do anything but tense his body from the neck down.
Mira sighed, almost relieved, “Give me your Name, and I’ll do that.” she replied casually.
“You fucking crazy bitch! Take it out NOW!” he snarled, contorting at odd, inhuman angles in an attempt to shift to his faerie form.
Mira drove the nail in deeper and he let out a pained scream that devolved quickly into whimpers.
“GIVE ME YOUR TRUE FUCKING NAME!” she shouted.
“Or what?” he managed to grit out between pained whimpers.
“Or I’ll end it. Don’t think I don’t have the silver.” she spat.
One could cut the tension in the brief moment that followed with a knife. “Mal…Malferis.” he finally said. Mira felt an odd surge of power that accompanied the name. It was a static charge that she could feel deep in her bones, ancient and magical, thrumming with untapped potential. Ready to bend to her will. His voice snapped her out of her momentary fervor, calling her back to the present like a beacon. "Could you please get this piece of shit iron out of me?”
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spacingoutzone · 3 years
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Okay… so… I read Redo of a Healer(manga)…
I ⚠️Warning⚠️ contains discussion about rape and sexual assault |
First of all, no matter what, there is no justification for rape. It doesn’t matter how much trauma the victim went through, that doesn’t give them the right to rape their perpetrator. No one deserves to be raped, period. But, this also a fictional revenge tale that’s meant to be disturbing, and people have the right to explore those themes in writing. That doesn’t mean they can’t be criticized though.
Now, I don’t think the author’s intention is to justify Keyaru’s behavior. He is clearly written in a way that makes him look mad and villainous. Though, that is how some readers are interpreting the story. I feel like the audience isn’t supposed to root for Keyaru, or at least we shouldn’t, but instead to watch in horror and suspense as to what he’ll do next. At least that’s how I’m reading it.
Although the author goes out of his way to depict Keyaru’s perpetrators as violent sexual abusers and rapists themselves, I think this is to trick the audience into feeling confused about how we should feel about Keyaru and his actions. He doesn’t feel like an evil person yet his actions are evil, though the people he’s attacking are also evil. After all, you can’t have a completely hateful main character or no one will read your story. They have to be somewhat relatable and sympathetic. By making victims awful people it makes his disturbing acts of punishment more digestible for the audience.
Keyaru himself states that he’s no longer good, and he takes extreme pleasure in committing atrocities such as, torture, murder, rape, forcing others to commit incest, brainwashing, and drugging people. He also calls his female companions (two of which he brainwashed to love him) his toys and property.
Yes the he is helping Eve and Setsune to achieve their own revenge, but it’s not out of the goodness of his heart, but to use their power for his own personal gain, and for sex.
And GOD! I was rooting for Eve to see through his bullshit, but no, she caved in and slept with him. In her defense, as well as Setsune, she is a victim of oppression and genocide. Keyaru is her only companion and she believes that he wants to support her for her own happiness, but thats not his real motive. What he actually wants is to control the woman around him. He’s manipulating them.
He not only rapes woman physically as a way to dominate and humiliate them, but also mentally rapes woman by brainwashing them into his little toys that he can play with.
Thats his character. He had his entire free will taken from him and was turned into a mindless zombie by his perpetrators. He was violated in every conceivable way both sexually and physically. It’s not just revenge he desires, but to have full control of his environment, including the woman around him. He deals with his trauma by committing the acts done against him onto others. Which doesn’t justify his actions, but explains them.
My favorite revenge stories are when the MC either let’s go of their revenge as they learn it won’t grant them satisfaction but only more pain, or for them to become an absolute monster who’s just as bad or even worse than the person they want want revenge on, and they end up alone or dead.
If all of Keyaru’s female companions turn against him when they realize the extent of his actions, if Keyaru just goes full on villain and becomes more of a monster than his perpetrators, or dies a violent death, then I will be satisfied with this story. He is too forgone to let go of revenge, and there is no way for him to live a happy peaceful life, his urge to cause suffering and pain is his only way to deal with negative emotions. He’s a monster who enjoys raping and torturing people, he does not deserve a happy ending and if he gets one I will hate this story, because that would be such an unsatisfying ending!
Also Freia (brainwashed Flare) has developed a close bond with Setsune, whom is also protective of her. I’m really curious to see what will happen if Keyaru turns on Freia and Setsune protects her, or if Flare gets her memories back and returns to being hateful. Keyaru has contemplated giving her memories back, since he’s still using her as part of his revenge.
Also, I’m really curious to see what he’ll do to Bullet. Flare and Sword mostly beat and insulted Keyaru, but they did also sexually assault him. Afterwards, both their punishments mainly involved being violently raped. Bullet did physically assault Keyaru but he mostly sexually assaulted and raped him. Bullet is his rapist. Like what is Keyaru going to do? What is he going to do? Will his treatment be different because Bullet is a man? I’m guessing he’s probably going to turn Bullet female then torture him, like he did to the last guy.
Am I overthinking this? I do like the story and I’m curious what will happen next, more specifically what horrifying atrocity will Keyaru think of next.
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I saw your post about having times of dormancy, and I've been doing that for months. It's really helped me to feel better. Issue is I don't know how to get back into a schedule, especially working from home where it just makes me feel wrong to have my desk be the same spot I have to work and be creative with nowhere else to go. I was wondering if you had on any tips for getting back up from those times? Thanks <3
Hi darling anon! This is an EXCELLENT question and I'm sure other people have been experiencing the same frustration.
There are a variety of options you can test to see which one works for your comfort level, energy, and mental health.
1. Allow yourself to remain dormant for as long as you need to
Don't worry about setting a schedule if you still feel tired or burned out or just barely getting by on the basics.
The writing community loves to tout schedules. Many authors use them. But some don't. And it's really, really okay if you do not have a schedule if that doesn't work for you.
Even if you want one. Even if you feel guilty for not having one.
It's okay to write when you're ready.
What if that means you only write one day out of two weeks?
That's better than nothing! :)
2. Experiment with your settings
You mentioned that you have nowhere else to go. Can you write literally anywhere else in your living arrangement?
A scrap of floor clear enough to sit on.
The kitchen table.
The bathtub (I'm spitballing here, but hey, if it works, it works!)
3. Take the pressure off yourself to "perform"
Setting a schedule might make you feel like you HAVE to get your creative stuff done in THIS ALLOTTED TIME RIGHT NOW.
Talk about pressure!
Instead, think of your writing time as a treat to yourself. Whether it's at the beginning or the end of your work day, let yourself play.
Experiment with what feels good.
Do you just want to doodle random scenes? Go for it!
Do you want to edit a few sentences? Dive right in!
Do you want to freewrite by hand? Do it!
Give yourself a chance to relax with your writing rather than Getting Something Done.
4. Your writing style/schedule might have changed
The world has been through a massive change on a global scale. Literally everyone on the planet has been affected by Covid-19.
And your writing might have changed, too. Maybe you used to thrive with a strict schedule but now you despise the slightest hint of regulation when it comes to your writing (even though the logical part of your brain still shakes its fist and demands, "You should have a schedule!")
Try writing without a schedule on purpose and see what happens!
5. Above all: be gentle with yourself
I'm a big advocate for being gentle with yourself. It might seem like you should be more strict with yourself to reach your goals. But there's also a need for gentleness in this world. Gentleness and patience gives you MUCH more mileage when it comes to motivation and energy.
A personal note below: (optional reading)
I didn't write anything for the entire year of 2020. I kept a journal, but I didn't touch anything else. I've only written one short story this year (in January) and edited/rewritten a handful of chapters in my WIP (a handful being: maybe 2).
For someone who used to write 6k in a day easy-peasy? That's rough to admit.
For over a year and a half, I have not been in a headspace to write, no matter how many schedules I tried to stick to. Whether it was 1,000 words daily or simply 100 words, I couldn't do it.
I was stressed and exhausted. Constantly. I was burned out and dealing with a TON of emotional stuff (on top of Covid) that left me entirely depleted.
I was certain that I was never going to write again. I thought I'd lost my love for writing because I had 0 ideas. I couldn't even put a sentence together. Nothing. And I hated it. It was driving me CRAZY.
Earlier this month, I quit my job, which had been putting considerable strain on my mental health (after one particularly stressful day, I slept for 14 hours straight).
I started another job that is supportive, positive, and offers a healthy work/life balance. I'm in a better work environment. I monitor/limit my stressors wherever possible (i.e. social media, the news) to make sure I don't get overly exhausted.
I'm finally starting to feel human again instead of a zombie, stumbling around in a haze. I'm regaining my excitement for writing. I have IDEAS instead of an empty brain. But it took a year and a half and I'm still not 100%.
I'm not saying: "Quit your job! Be free! Feel the wind in your hair and rid yourself of tiresome responsibilities!"
(Wouldn't that be nice though???)
I'm saying: allow yourself to rest. And it will take time. More time than you want it to.
If you're struggling to stick to a schedule, chances are, you're just not ready for it yet. There's no shame in recognizing that. ♥
You're probably eager for your dormant period to (finally) be over with. But it's there for a reason. Your writing will get back on its feet again all by itself naturally.
Trust the process. Trust your need to rest. Trust the relationship you have with your writing and it will see you through.
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bedbellyandbeyond · 3 years
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Call A Friend
(Story Post)
“Are the kids alright?” Nari asked. “Yeah, Korsgaard said they were angels, but I have a feeling he's lying...” Nathan sighed. “I bet they bit someone...” “You can't assume that.” Nari was sitting outside the library talking to Nathan. Nathan had told him to check in if his search lasted more than a week and since he still had no luck, after spending seven days in the expansive library, he took a break to call his friend. “Can you believe he compared me kissing Kent to him literally sleeping with him?” Nathan huffed. “And we're back to that... I don't think I'm allowed to have an opinion on that,” Nari said. “You know, considering my previous relationship to your partner...” “But I'd like your opinion,” Nathan said. “I'm still really fucking lost...”
Nari sighed. “All I know is that it doesn't sound like Dax's behaviour. Cheating on someone just isn't in his nature. One-night stands aren't his thing as he needs time to get to know someone before he'll have sex with them. He's incredibly loyal and he loves you very much.” “I know, I know...” Nathan groaned. “I'm just so confused...” “I would believe that this was something out of his control,” Nari said. “I wouldn't believe it's something out of Kent's control, however, I don't know him.” “Right, I figure Kent's been bullshitting me on a lot of things,” Nathan said. “Like, the guy is so obviously gay, or bi or whatever, but he won't admit it and instead hides himself behind homophobia and ill manners.” “I’m not surprised.” “I mean, we know why he won't come out, it's so...” Nathan groaned. “It's so frustrating. Like, I get that what happened to him was really fucking tragic, you know, losing his girlfriend and his kid, but it was twenty years ago!” “Nathan, I know you're not trying to be mean, but twenty years is not a very long time,” Nari said. “The pain that comes from outliving your children never goes away.” Nathan let out a long sigh. “Right... I suppose you would know... Sorry.” “No, but I understand your point,” Nari said. “He is allowing the pain to prevent him from being himself and opening up to people. That is something that happens to a lot of vampires who get stuck in their feelings... I read a book about a vampire who strictly only drank the blood of red heads because his dead wife had red hair. I didn't like that book.” “Shit,” Nathan cursed. “I haven't asked you about how the search is going... And it’s 11pm here, it must be really late over there. I'm sorry.” “I'm literally a vampire and I called you,” Nari stated. “Right, I'm stupid. Sorry.” “Anyway, this has proved a much more complex task than I had originally thought,” Nari said. “A lot of literature about vampires is written like fiction, in storytelling and such. I naïvely expected I was just going to find a textbook on vampire reproductive systems, but it's just been novels and more novels on vampires giving birth to demons and dark beasts and all kinds of nonsense... Finding fact in fiction is incredibly exhausting, and that's only after finding the books in the first place...” “I'm sorry... Have you asked a librarian or someone to help you look?” Nathan asked. “No... I have no interest in talking to these bloodsuckers... These monsters still use the familiar system around here!” Nari said. “Which system?” “Familiars. You know, human servants promised to be turned one day.” “Ah. Slavery.” “That's what I said.” Nathan sighed. “Well, keep your chin up... You're brilliant and tenacious. You'll find what you need, I'm sure.” “I don't know,” Nari said. “I’ve left Diederich alone quite a while now. I feel maybe I should start looking for the magic books he's been asking about and then we can just go home...” “Aw, don't give up like that,” Nathan said. “I'm sure Diederich is fine on his own and he's there to support you. You just need to keep looking.” “Maybe...” Nari said. “I feel like I'm going crazy. Only thing helping me keep track of time is that more vampires are in the library at night time. The library is completely enclosed during the day, but most of them go home to sleep.” “So, you haven't slept at all?” Nathan asked. “Well, one time I got really bored and nodded off on a couch for about two hours...” Nari said. “Just because you can stay awake for days and days without end, doesn't mean you don't need sleep,” Nathan said. “How do you know that?” Nari said. “How do you I need sleep at all?” “You've told me,” Nathan said. “You told me, the longer you go without sleep, the harder it is to focus and your memory starts to fail you. Like literally right now.” “Oh... Right. That's true,” Nari said. “I suggest you go back to your hotel for a day, get some sleep, at least twelve hours, and then come back in a fresh set of clothes to try the library again where you left off. You need a fresher mind for this. You're tired.” Nari nodded. “You're probably right... Anyway, I'm done with me. Back to your problems.” “Uh, I don't know what else there is to say,” Nathan said. “Did the bear guy see his kids yet?” Nari asked. “Yes, well, we did a video session earlier tonight,” Nathan said. “It's really really hard to hate him when you see him get all emotional from just the kids...” “Did he cry?” “Like a baby,” Nathan snickered. “Hopefully he can compose himself when he sees them next weekend in person.” “And you're comfortable with that?” Nari asked. “Well, yeah... I mean, he's their dad and I'll be there,” Nathan said. “He'll have to promise not to argue with me in front of them... I've made it pretty clear I have full authority over his connection to them.” “Hm... And Dax won't be there this time?” Nathan paused. “No, I don't think so...” “Do you have anyone else you can bring?” Nari asked. “I'm not sure I like knowing it'll just be you and those babies out there in the woods...” “I don't think Kent is a threat to us...” Nathan said. “But I get what you mean. APID’s keeping an eye on him. He usually avoids them, but it'll be part of the condition that he can only see them if he cooperates with APID agents.” “That’s good, yes. Bring an agent with you,” Nari said, flexing his claws. “I'd go with you if I could...” “Well, maybe you'll get lucky and find exactly what you're looking for before the weekend,” Nathan said. “Then you could do the trip with me.” Nari scoffed. “I doubt it... This place is an abyss. If you see me next weekend, it's because I gave up and decided to adopt or something...” “Well, I believe in you,” Nathan said. “You can do it.” Nari sighed. “Well... I’m still on the escort thing. Doesn't your case worker have a field agent for a son? Kingsley or something?” “Korsy, yeah,” Nathan said. “The agent who went with us last week was named Hanover, but he was a bit gun happy, and Korsy might be a better fit... I'll ask Korsgaard if he's available. I know he flies across the country and into the states sometimes on assignments, so he could be busy.” “Well, I'll cross my fingers for you that he's available,” Nari said. “Anything else you want to talk about?” Nathan took a deep breath. “Well, all this started because I hosted Wano in my home... I get upset just thinking about it, but I can't tell if I'm being a bit of an asshole about his situation.” “You haven't shared the situation,” Nari said. “Long story short, he's getting deported but he started seeing this guy from my pregnancy group to have a baby, and they did it in my house when I wasn't home, without my consent...” “Um. What? Of course, you're not the asshole. He is being disrespectful to you and your home. Has he apologised?” “Err... Maybe when I transformed... I scared the shit out of him.” “Hm... Well, yes. You don't have to keep him around. It's not fair to you if you're housing him out of your own goodwill. And if you don't even have your own home, why would you have a baby?” “Right? Both of them live out of other people's places. I can't imagine Jeffrey's cousin will be happy with another baby in his apartment.” “Who's Jeffrey?” “Wano's new partner, I guess... In my opinion he's still a baby himself. Both of them are.” “But they're both consenting adults?” Nari asked. “Yeah.” “Nothing you can do but kick them out. It's not your problem. You have your own problems.” “Yeah... Anyway, I should let you get back to it. I need to sleep. And so do you.” Nari sighed. “I'll think about it...” “No, seriously. Sleep. You'll do better if you do. Can you promise me?” “...Okay.” “For real though?” “Yeah, yeah, I'm tired of this stupid library. It's so medieval.” “Ha, alright.” “So, you should do what you have to do too,” Nari said. “Kick out that Wano guy, give Dax a break but don't throw him out entirely, and kiss the twins for me before you go to bed.” Nathan chuckled a bit. “I will.” “Okay. I'm hanging up now.” “Haha, okay. I'll do the same.” “Bye.” “See you soon.” Nari hung up and sighed. He looked back at the library, considering hitting the books a little bit more, but the thought of having to deal with getting through security again was enough to turn him away for now. He got up and headed back to his hotel. At the very least, he had read a magic book about purification that he could tell Diederich about. Maybe it could be used to lower the blood alcohol levels of a drunk wizard. Hopefully he wouldn’t have to test it out when he got back.
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