#thats most likely my downfall | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

redbleedingrose · 1 year

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Hiya!

So sunday was my bday - and i was wondering if you had any sort of head cannons about Az - idk if this makes sense - like being posessive with a slightly insecure reader. Like say they are at a resturant or something and some is being rude to you and Az is just like 'Nah thats my girl' type vibe yk?

Sorry for always rambling.

Always much love and support through the days!

🍸

Hello my lovely devoted reader 🍸!!!

I am so sorry for the late reply! I hope you had the most amazing birthday!!

And please let me know what you think, hopefully you liked this and it met your expectations!

Okay, so let's be so clear, Azriel is the most protective of the bat boys towards his mate. Like Cassian is always showing off his girl, and Rhys doesn't even feel the need to be protective because first off, he knows that they can take care of themselves and take anyone down, but also because he is so freaking cocky, he just knows that no one would be able to steal them away.

But Az?? Azriel is a protective to the max. He always has been and he always will be. Part of that comes from his Illyrian roots, and the intrinsic need to protect you. But also, he is secretly fearful that you would find someone else who is better than him. Because in his mind, he doesn't deserve someone as perfect as you. He doesn't deserve someone as beautiful, kind, elegant, funny, and intelligent as you. Another part of his protectiveness stems from the fact that you are his mate. His. The spymaster of the night court. Darkness incarnate. He has made many enemies throughout his five centuries of living. Enemies that would do just about anything to see his downfall, even if it means hurting an innocent female, especially if that means hurting the one person Azriel cannot live without, you.

And so...

He is silently always watching. When you are in the same room, he soaks in your presence, and cannot force himself to look away. Because you are the most stunning creature that he has ever met. Because you are the love of his life.

He also has ordered one of his shadows to constantly be around you. And he thinks you haven't noticed, but of course you have. You know your mate. You know his tendencies to be protective. You know the fears that he holds close to his chest, hidden away from everyone, even his brothers, but impossible to hide from you.

And honestly...

You don't mind the protectiveness. You actually bask in it.

You adore the little shadow that follows you around. It has become your silent friend who helps you with whatever task you are working on. Once, you were cooking dinner for you and Az, and the glass bowl slipped from your hands. Had his shadow not been there, the bowl would have shattered into thousands of little pieces. But the shadow was there. And in an attempt to protect you from any harm, it caught the bowl, lifting it back to your hands. And since then, anytime you ask the shadow to do something for you, it will.

You adore the way that Az stares at you. How he eyes you up and down in whatever it is that you chose to wear for the day. How you are the first person he looks for when he enters a room. How his gaze remains focused on you, even while in conversation with someone else. How he looks at you like you have placed every star in the sky.

Before Azriel, you struggled with the way you looked.

But with him...

With him... with the way he glares at any male who has the gall to speak to you. With the way he practically worships the ground that you walk on. With the way his hazel eyes glow with reverence every time he catches your gaze. With the way he kisses you, so softly, so gently, with his hands cupping your cheeks and pulling you flush against him. With the way he touches you like you are holy, like you are a goddess that has graced him with your blessings. With the way he makes love to you, slow and smooth at first, savoring your scent, your body, your kisses. With the way it always devolves into desperation, into longing, into an ache that builds and builds and builds until saccharine release that floods the bond that ties your hearts and souls together.

Release that has his pupils blown so wide, the depths of his iris’ disappear. Release that has his breathe stolen from him, gasping puffs of air against your lips. Release that has his entire body quivering, and his wings flaring to span across the bed.

With him, you can’t help but feel like the Mother took her time creating you, perfecting you for the most handsome mate. Azriel stole almost every drop of insecurity that stains your self image. So rarely do you now experience the dark inkling of doubt in yourself. So rarely.

But it does happen once every blue moon.

And every time it does, Azriel is right there with you. Right in your corner. Slipping in murmurs of compliments and praise every chance he can get. Having his shadows curl around the curves of your body, and playing with your hair before tugging you towards their master so he can hold you in a tight embrace. Pressing soft kisses onto every inch of exposed skin you grace him with that day. And just like that, the small flame of insecurity flickers out.

Only today...

Today, Azriel was out on a mission all day, and would be meeting you at Mariana’s, the diner the shadowsinger took you to after you finally agreed to a date with him, “Just give me one night doll, just one, and I promise I will change your mind about me,” he murmured into your ear as he swayed your body against his on Starfall. That date had been the single event that solidified your feelings towards the powerful male. And since then, every month, you would meet at Mariana’s to share a milkshake like you had that night.

Today, Azriel hadn’t been here to comfort you as you feel into a spiral of insecurity. His pulses of love down the bond were met with a wall of self doubt that you were holding tight. The dress that Azriel had bought you months ago was just not fitting you right. The way it clung to your hips felt awkward as you stared at yourself in the mirror. Eventually, you had moved to fixing your hair and smearing on a sheer lip stain, and even that hadn’t worked out as you had hoped. Your hair decided to not cooperate today, and your lip stain had only melted into the inner parts of your lips, making your mouth seem much smaller than it was. Despite not feeling good about the way you were looking, you knew in your heart that Az would look at you as though you were the center of his universe, and that soothed the dull ache as you placed the sapphire earrings on.

You clutched at the wool of your colbat blue overcoat that matched the spymasters siphons, briskly walking through the rainbow to meet at the little table seated out in the corner of the patio, letting the wind brush through your hair. Azriel’s shadow followed dutifully behind you, snaking through the dark corners of the walkway. Unsurprisngly, the diner was packed to the brim, flowing with regulars and new customers. Mariana’s milkshakes were that of legend. You peaked above the heads that were seated, trying to spot the wavy onyx hair that belonged to your mate, but came up empty. You had shown up fifteen minutes early, and knowing your mate, he would likely show up in five. You both had a habit of showing up to your little excursions early, too excited to see one another again. And this time, you had chosen to meet right after his scheduled mission debrief with Rhys and Cass.

You silently seated yourself at the table, resting your chin into the palm of your hand as the tiny shadow slithered around the restaurant, taking note of all the patrons who were within 50 feet of you. Your fingers stroked the checkered fabric that was placed over the table as you waited for your mate, content with the quiet chatter around you as a distraction from the excitement of finally being in Az’s arms again.

You already knew how this would go. He, in his spymaster fashion, silent as the darkness that encompasses him in warm comfort, would seat himself in the chair right next to you instead of the one in front of you. You already knew he would card his scarred fingers through your hair, gently tugging you into a warm kiss before sliding your chair by the bottom right up to his. You already knew he would then wrap his arm around the back of your chair, allowing for his warmth that he seems to radiate to seep into your chilled skin, before signaling the waiter to come take your order. That is how things always go between you. That is how it has always gone between you.

So you certainly weren’t expecting for this random male to slide into the chair across from you.

And you certainly weren’t expecting for him to reach out and grab a hold of your wrist with his cold, slightly wet palm from what you could only hope was sweat.

Startled by the sudden contact from a male who was practically a stranger, you gasped trying to yank your arm out of his hold, “Excuse me.”

But the blonde males grip on you was tight. Unrelanting. “You’re excused sexy,” he smirked at you, leaning in closer to your face with all sense of personal space apparently gone, the alcohol in his breath wafted into your nose had you nearly gagging. “What’s a gorgeous lady like yourself sitting her all alone looking pretty?” he jeered at you, ignoring the obvious discomfort that was strained across your face. The cold whisper of Azriel’s shadow had wrapped around your wrist, helping you in the effort to pull your arm away as you calmly replied, “I’m here with my mate. Leave me alone.”

His smirk dropped at your statement, a dangerous glint flashed across his blue eyes that had darkened into ice, “I’m just talkin’ to you, you stupid bint. You think you’re better than me?” The grip he had on your wrist tightened, nearly cutting off the circulation as Azriel’s shadow shot away, seemingly to warn his master of the situation that was unfolding. Panic started to roll through you in heaves, unintentionally and unknowingly signaling Azriel through the bond.

Finality was set in your tone as you attempted once more, this time, with much less kindness and a lot more threat laced through your words, “Let go of me right now or else-” The male cut you off, slamming your wrist he had hold of into the table, “Or else what? You know what? You’re a waste of time. Pathetic fucking whor-”

You felt the sting of insecurity steep into you. A random male stating your deepest insecurity at fact. That you were a waste of time. That you would never be good enough. Not for Azriel, your wonderful perfect mate.

You didn’t have time to respond back. You didn’t have time to process the emotion. You honestly didn’t even see what really happened. One second, the male was belittling you so close, you could feel drops of his spit marring your skin.

The next, the male was screaming bloody murder as darkness swarmed you.

What brought undeniable terror to the male had brought you utter comfort and peace as shadows began dancing around you. The grip that had no doubt left bruises on your wrist, was gone. You could feel the warmth of your mate, his eucalyptus and midnight rain scent overwhelming you into a deep sense of safety. As you squinted your eyes through the mist of darkness, you could barely make out truth teller sticking in through the males hand and into the wood of the table that was covered by the checkered cloth. You could feel the rage radiating off your mate as his shadows dissapatted, allowing you and every other patron seated close to watch as the spymaster brought down his wrath on this male.

“Or else me,” Az’s voice was deepened into a void. A shiver shot down your spine at the display of power that was sending pools of attraction at the apex of your thighs. “She is mine. Mine. My mate. How dare you speak to her? How dare you lay your flithy fucking hands on her, you insolent fool?” Any cockiness the drunk male had displayed was gone, sobered from the pain of the spymaster’s dagger slammed through his hand and into the table, trapping him in his own blood that was pouring out of the wound. One of your mates hands was clutching the truth teller by the hilt so tight, his scarred knuckles were pure white. The other hand was locked at the males neck, choking him in place as he stammered out apologies and pleas for mercy that were ignored by darkness incarnate.

A sudden gust of wind from your left with a resounding thump had you shifting your gaze away from the scene that was unfolding, to Cassian approaching you, Azriel, and the male wearing the mask of general to the night court. His large hand squeezed your shoulder softly before he leaned over to murmur something into Azriel’s ear. At first, your mate didn’t budge from his position, too focused on the now crying male. Only after sending a tug down your bond did his attention snap towards you.

He wrenched truth teller from the males hand, another scream resounding as Cassian made quick work of knocking the male out with a hard punch to the jaw, and then throwing the male over his shoulder to fly away to the jail where he would await interrogation and subsequent punishment.

Azriel stayed focused on you, completely unbothered by the male, darting his eyes up and down your figure to check for any injuries. He reached out a shaking hand, hesitating as if he were scared you feared him after seeing what he was capable of. Silly male.

You smiled at your mate, clasping your fingers through his to rub at the thickened skin, bringing his hand up to press in soft kisses. He pulled you out of your chair, swiftly sliding his arms to wrap around your waist, lifting you up off the ground to where you instinctivly wrapped your legs around his waist.

He shot through the sky, his grip on you solid and warm, grounding almost. Any insecurities that had been creeping through your mind slowly began to slip away as he whispered words of comfort into your ear, only to be heard by you, his shadows, and the stars that lined the sky. When you reached your home, his grip on you hadn’t loosened until he was tossing you onto the bed, immediately following your flying form and dropping his body on yours.

His hands stroked at your cheeks and hair, “Are you okay doll? I could feel the panic through the bond and I nearly ripped the fools head off when your shadow told me what was happening.” You hummed, nudging your nose against his as you nodded, soaking in the attention your mate was giving you, preening at the strokes of love and overprotectiveness he was sending down the bond. “I’m fine Az, really.”

But your mate is your mate. He is also the spymaster of one of the most powerful, if not the most powerful, courts in Prythian. Nothing slips past him, especially where you are concerned. He could read you like an open book. He could sense your emotions like they were his own.

“Nothing, and I mean nothing, he said was true. You aren’t a waste of space. You are the definition of utter perfection. And he was pathetic to think you would use any of your valuable time on him,” you scoffed out a laugh at the gentle words of your mate, but he only pressed his forehead further into yours, his lips brushing against your chapped lips as he continued, “You are mine. My mate. and I am yours. Only yours. No matter how undeserving I may be, the mother has given you to me. And me to you. I love you more than words could describe. The constant awe that I feel around you is beyond any phrase I could use. Every day, I find a new reason to fall for you.”

He locked his lips to yours in a firm kiss, leaning back only a couple of centimeters after a moment, “Darling, I am so in love with you. I have always been in love with you. And I will always be in love with you.”

And just like that, the sneaky spymaster had stolen every ounce of chilling self doubt and insecurity, replacing it with the warmth of his love, “I am in love with you too Azriel,” you murmured into his plump lips, pecking them after every whispered word.

AHHHH okay what did you think?!?! Let me know your thoughts in the comments! Please like, reblog, and comment! I always love the interaction, and as always I am so happy and thankful for all the support I do receive. I hope that you all took your medications, had something to eat, and took a sip of water.

And again, to my devoted beautiful lovely 🍸, I hope you enjoyed. And Happy belated birthday my sweet <3

#azriel x reader #azriel x reader fanfic #azriel shadowsinger #azriel spymaster #azriel acotar #azriel fanfic #acotar fanfic #azriel headcanons #rose rambles #rose writes #fluff #minor angst

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tubborucho · 6 months

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Genuinely, stop with that fucking bullshit about Blue being bad at communication. Like, where the fuck this crowd of people came from on Tubbo’s ALT stream just to tell him that Blue sucks at being friends and talking to each other. THEY DON’T. They are actually really good! So far they did a great job at having all the logging in members in check, sharing tasks, things, even with people who do more solo stuff like Rivers. They have a great chemistry; Tina, Tubbo and Bad are WONDERFUL as an unofficial co-leaders. Tubbo, who is FAMOUSLY BAD AT KEEPING HIS MORAL HIGH AT COMPETITIVE EVENTS, has been SO SUPPORTIVE AND ENCOURAGING, telling his team how he is so proud of them.

They do NOT suck at communication. They have some time management problems, but MOST of those problems are coming from the event structure itself, where it favors PST timezone. Those streamers are not fucking obligated to change their schedules just to have a chance of winning. Especially EU ones.

Honestly, Tubbo spent most of his time on the server trying to make sure to not go hard on Red, stopping Bad from ambushing them, deciding to talk to Phil where he definitely could’ve just leave. Bad LISTENED to Tubbo half of those times and genuinely held himself back so much. Tina NEVER engaged in anything with Red herself. Missa was just minding his own business. AND THAT’S FINE THAT RED KILLED HIM AND THAT CARRE TRIED TO KILL TINA. THAT’S THE GAME. JUST NOT PLAY ALL HIGH AND MIGHTY ABOUT THEIR ACTIONS AND THEN HATE ON BLUE FOR DOING STUFF. Them getting taunted for trying to be nice by saying that they just ‘can’t communicate with each other’ is such a BM.

Tubbo’s chat is AWFUL with Red viewers coming there and parading how they actually route for other team. And telling Blue ‘to just be better at friendship’. It’s so frustrating. When honestly the only reason why red wins them is because they submit tasks at the last minute. Blue has all the same fucking resources. That’s it. It’s a good strategy for winning, but it doesn’t have to do anything with communication in teams.

And also once again: THIS IS A KILLING AND MAIMING EVENT THAT WAS DESIGNED TO PUSH CHARACTERS TO COMMIT ATROCITIES. THATS THE POINT. THEY ARE ALLOWED TO BE TOXIC TO EACH OTHER. THIS IS NOT A QOMMUNICATION ISLAND, THIS IS PURGATORY.

Honestly, I was getting over my annoyance, but then Tubbo’s alt chat happened and it got me spiraling again. I am just so upset. I genuinely feel disdain towards Red just because of the fans, and I hate it, because it’s a good team and I want to enjoy them. But everything I think about them now is just this fandom bullshit.

This is a warning for my red team mutuals: I have nothing against you, I don’t hate the team, you or ccs, genuinely. But I will probably keep being a little hater towards red and pray on their downfall in my posts unless something will turn the tables completely. So I will use #red neg and ‘tw red neg’ in my posts most of the time, you might want to filter it out.

#liss writes posts #qsmp #tw discourse #discourse

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ohhnorr · 2 years

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Genshin impact is so painful now

I love this game to death, the open world and its lore, the dragons, the gameplay, and the land of liyue reeled me in. And ofc Kaeya was one of the major reasons I started playing. I've been playing the game like maybe a month since it was released. So, like the launch era (yes I take pride in that it was the best era).

Mondstadt was an amazing introduction, to the familiar buildings of Germany. And the beautiful design of the culture mixed with the signature of genshin's design made the characters brilliant. Now the first story event (reconciling stars??) made me heavily excited about all the lore that was hidden ingame.

When I got to liyue I was glued to the game, forever, I thought. This was china from a whole nother perspective for me as a Moroccan. And to see such an elegant (not heavily sexualized) character like Ninguang in that cutscene. Yo, I fell in love. Childe was cute too, but then the man that got me everything or anything related to excitement and admiration came upon us. Zhongli. Oh, he was the package, with a beautiful outfit reminding u of the Chinese culture as it has its own modern genshin signature twist. Stunning. It's such characters that get me obsessed with games. Next to all of the intricate details and lore plus gameplay.

To finish off, Inazuma. That was one beautiful region, from the flora to the architecture. The temples and that beautiful quest. Ayaka's design is by far one of my favourites. Her design has her culture written all over it and it's beautiful. In Inazuma, we have so many characters inspired by their Japanese ancestry and it looks stunning and recognizable.

But then the sumeru leaks dwindled along. I was super excited for sumeru, that was my downfall.

After seeing these 3 beautifully represented cultures i was so naïvely excited for Sumeru. And thats expected right, i was rightfully excited to see the beautiful culture of the middle east, north africa and SEA being equally represented like the other three.

But thats when i heard al haitham an important arab figure whose name is now being occupied by a white buff tech man with a fandom who couldnt even pronounce his name right and call him habibi ?

ATTENTION: REPRESENTING. SWANA

Unrecognizable. In no way was the representation of Sumeru as intricately thought out as with the other regions. We have been colorised, orientalized and sexualized once again.

I'm gonna start with the one hurting me the most, Dehya.

(Listen i only heard her name and i was so excited to see my culture in this game i was jumping and ecstatic to see representation--- wait she is a cat girl warrior tf)

Dehya's name is inspired by Dihya, the name of an Amazigh Algerian military queen (Kahena). So quite a name to live up to. The Imazighen (us North Africans) barely get any representation as it is. And when we do, we become drawn out as barbarians or savages (for example another "name" for us is Berbers which the Romans called us).

Now what does Dehya look like huh? Yes indeed she has been revealed to be some warrior cat with an wild and savage look. And as an amazigh i hoped to see at least a little of our beautiful culture respresented. Yet i didint recognize any cultural aspects in comparison to litteraly any character in this game.

While we actually wear alot of beautiful jewelry! And we also have beautiful tribal tattoos, and Dihya herself is such a stunning figure to take refrence from.

But instead we get practically nothing. So we are now standing up for her. And yet there are people complaining against us saying that sexualization happens to every character. But Dehya is litteraly oversexualized on such a level that no cultural aspect is recognizable nor a point of interest.

Look im aware of the sexualization of female characters in games especially in gacha's. And its mostly the reason why i dont play alot of them. Yet in genshin its more mild and the design still upholds cultural aspects. Like with Inazuman characters; https://www.reddit.com/r/Genshin_Impact/comments/o7eifv/inazuma_characters_design_analysis_spoilers_for/

And alot of Liyue characters;

This is why i ask of the bare minimum. To analyze and take interest in the amazigh culture. So Dehya's design could be oh so much more elevated and still badass. Because we as well would love to see a badass cat warrior with actual amazigh tattoos, clothes and jewelry.

Unfortunatly she isint the only problematic character.

Nilou, is an Persian dancer. Whilst having culturally accurate horns from the Sassanian period and a burst move from the gorgeous Persian dance. She has still been sexualized and orientalized. Dancers have always had their stomachs covered. Its culture, it's beautiful. By exposing the belly it's unrecognizable as Persian and becomes mixed with the Arab belly dancing outfit. If they want to sexualise her that badly then exposing the belly is the worst move- it erases the culture, it mixes with another culture, it sexualizes and orientalizes. It becomes a problem.

(Cr: demonscallme on twitter)

Tighnari, an amazigh name supposedly Moroccan. With ears from the fennec an animal from the western desert. Other than that his outfit and design is all over the place. In genshin they are more than capable of making modern day clothing mix with cultural themes. Yet this is not working at all. Nothing is recognizable nor representative of anything amazigh nor arab. Its just a jumbled mess. Disappointing in comparison to the modern clothing and cultural mixture of design with for example zhongli.

Dori is the worst of all the characters. She is orientalized and sexualized. No one encounters representation except seeing a fucking joke. She has no cultural aspects that are recognizable instead she is the spitting image of an orientalized character. They have a huge region and countries with countless cultures to take interest in. Yet they went with none and followed stereotypes. Her clothing is also grossly sexualized for a child model. It's disappointing how we are being spat on, our cultures are being treated like a joke.

Now a major argument against anything related to the word orientalism had been "it's fictional".

Stereotyping and racism are stated under orientalism. When we say it's racist, stereotyped, and so orientalized it is wrong, it should not be spread around as if it's nothing. It hurts to see and it's disrespectful. So we SWANA deserve just like the german, Chinese and Japanese to be respected and upheld with the same input into our designated region. This game isin't so fictional anymore.

Colourism, all characters until now are pale. Not denying it. We have in the swana region, people of all colours. If u are gonna represent characters from that region we expect different skin tones. To be recognizing oneself is an amazing experience. And it would be representing swana perfectly. It does not hurt it only embraces. That's why we are speaking up about this. Look I'm willing to wait, to take this back, the moment we get a broad set of people from different skin colours. Its not hard to do, it does not contradict anything. So why are people still pressed? Aren't we supposed to break free from the stupid standard of the pale is elevated. There are white Arabs yes, I'm not saying we can't have any pale characters. But with a region as broad as the swana region. There are bound to be some different skin tones and that should not be ignored.

To conclude,

we want to have equal input into our region as there has been done with the previous three. We want people to see our beautiful cultures. And above all, we want to be respected. Yes, we cannot have everything, but it does not hurt to try. It does not hurt to speak out. And you who are against this notion, you are not achieving freemogems out of this. You are not changing our minds. You are not the only one in the world. Broaden your perspectives. For the sake of an exceptional game.

#genshin impact #genshin impact inazuma #genshin #genshin impact liyue #genshin impact leaks #sumeru #genshin leaks #genshin impact sumeru #sumeru leaks #genshin impact dehya #dehya #genshin impact haitham #al haitham #Tighnari #Dori #Nilou #Collei #genshin sumeru

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barkly-523 · 1 month

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About Dutch van der Linde

Hello tumblr rdr space! I do not go here, but I post on tiktok sometimes and have a dear buddy of mine who ive been talking to about some posts on here!

I will post a proper introduction at a later date, but for now I would like to put my own two cents in on some stuff ive been seeing recently, about Dutch.

Dutch is an incredibly COMPLEX character, and I feel that some people really horrifically miss that point sometimes. whether it be "Oh, he bonked his head!" or "Oh, this man is a monster!" both points are on opposite ends of the spectrum, but I believe they greatly miss the overarching theme of his character and who he is, and was, as a person. To merely dismiss all of his actions by saying "oh, hes just a monster, abuser, groomer, thats why hes the way that he is" shows nothing above a surface level understanding of his character, nor the characters of the people around him and those who choose to work with him. These characters were designed to have depth, to be studied, and understood on a deeper level. Why take such a basic explanation? I am not here to say Dutch is not without flaws (because he has alot of those), but I AM here to say that calling dutch a "groomer" or some sort of "cult leader, master manipulator" is just, factually incorrect.

Firstly, with the grooming point. This is an incredibly stigmatized word nowadays, so its crazy to use in general here, but by no means were people "groomed" into being outlaws. These people had flaws of their own, took bad paths, and ended up crossing paths with Dutch. Why did they cross paths with him? Well, I went through every "how they joined the gang" story I could find, and its about a 50/50 split between they tried to rob or kill dutch, Or that they were on the run and dutch gave them a safe place to stay, with some exceptions. The odds of these people bumping into someone far worse, in all cases, are exceptional. Most of the gang were in bad places when dutch found them, and they were getting desperate. Its incredibly possible they wouldve bumped into someone who wouldve killed them instead. John was saved from being hanged. Had Dutch and Hosea not been there, he wouldve died. Arthur outright says "dutch saved me, saved most of us." and although things did not turn out right at the end of the day, to believe that dutch was nothing more than a power-hungry manipulator is shown to be incorrect in the media itself. Colm exists. Hes literally right there. An antagonist who; doesnt know the names of the men in his gang, is shown to hit Kieran, who cares more for numbers than connection. Their feud goes back YEARS, and it all seems to stem from a fatal disagreement about how things were being run. When they split paths, Dutch keeps a tight knit gang of people who he considers family, Colm continues to grow his gang in numbers. At the very start of the game, dutch makes it clear that hed prefer the gang doesnt split up, that they stick together so *he can be sure everyone is okay.* He shows sympathy for Sadies situation, and takes her in to help her. Not once is it stated shes obligated to be there, in fact, its stated that she can stay as long as she needs to, to get back on her feet. She has the final say on whether she stays in the gang or not. The reason so many people stayed in the gang until it was actively collapsing, is not because dutch was forcing them to stay. They saw him as family just as he saw them.

Its why his character arc is so interesting. Its why watching his downfall is impactful. he ISNT a bad man, he does bad things out of desperation towards the end of the game, just as other gang members did in the very beginning. Dutch had bad tendencies, but he had people there to help him stay on the right track. His beliefs were good, its why he had people who stuck with him. They believed in what he taught. He had incredibly intelligent people in his gang, I'll use Lenny and Hosea as my examples for now. Lenny was taught by his father to judge peoples character, and even if his time with the gang was short he absolutely wouldve picked up on dutchs behavior if he was hiding behind some sort of mask. and HOSEA, has been with the dude for 20 YEARS. You cannot fake something for that long, and hosea is far from stupid aswell. He is a conman by nature. If dutch was trying to con everyone, surely he wouldve noticed. Arthur still regards dutch incredibly highly for a good majority of the game. He sees the man as a mentor and is clearly deeply affected watching dutch spiral and do bad things as the game goes on. At the beginning, when told Dutch had shot a girl on the blackwater job, his first response is to say that it "doesnt sound like him". Dutch is shown to have remorse for his actions, although he chooses to rarely talk about blackwater, and avoids the subject when its brought up, he explains to hosea, with shame, that he "really messed up" in blackwater. Micah had egged dutch on (as stated by John in a camp interaction) and dutch is shown to be regretful, that job really put everything in motion, but I truly believe micahs manipulation is what changed dutch.

Micah fed into his impulsive side, and tried to reassure him when things went wrong. When Arthur was kidnapped by Colm, Micah explained that Arthur was the type to wander, and surely, theyd see him back at camp. Dutch, ONCE AGAIN, shows regret. He shouldnt have put Arthur in such a position, and knows it. Dutch has impulsive tendencies, he has paranoid thoughts. This is shown in multiple camp interactions and even stated in one of the games first journal entries about the land they were going to settle on before the ferry job. To simply blow off all the depth of his character by saying "oh, hes bad" is so,, lame? Why focus on dutch specifically to say he did all of these bad things on his own accord when micah is, right there. Dutch literally goes crawling back to him in the epilogue. Partly for revenge, since seeing arthur on the cliffside was able to briefly break him out of the funk hed been in for the last few months (albeit far too late), but also partly because I dont think he knows how to be alone. I dont think he can handle it. Hosea and Arthur had been by his side the longest, and he had to watch both of them die. Late game conversations between dutch and arthur have always been fascinating to me, and even in Guarma dutch is still set on going back to keep the gang together. Thats his family, and he cannot lose them too. He outright states he'll do whatever it takes to make sure they survive. Arthur is startled by this, as dutch has been shown to be deadly and irrational, he isnt processing things well, and cannot handle the pressure on his shoulders, and it certainly doesnt help that Micah is in his ear telling him that Arthur and John are betraying him. He clearly doesnt want to believe it, but he cannot wrap his head around hoseas death, and assumes that the only way it couldve happened was if someone ratted, completely overlooking micah.

Dutch is not a smart man, and truthfully, he should have never been in a position of power, but he is not evil. He was desperate, and he was trying to keep his family together. Although I do not agree with the "Trolley Theory" for reasons stated above, I highly doubt him bashing his head like that helped with his mental state either. Dutch is desperate. Dutch does bad things, but he is far from a bad man. He helped the people in his gang, and although the found family turned sour in the end, they mattered to him, and it mattered to the gang. Dutch, CANONICALLY, was not always "bad" either. Arthur, Dutch, and Hosea robbed a bank, took what they needed, and gave the rest to the local orphanage. Dutch scolded Arthur for robbing someone who was "too poor" and said that doing that made them just as bad as the system they were fighting against, Dutch helped Hosea get on the right track and stopped him from stealing just about anything he could get his hands on. Dutch is a man who had good ideologies, and wanted to help people in his own way, but the pressures kept adding up and it broke him. Dutch, in RDR1, is a more objectively "bad" character, But look at how they fleshed him out in rdr2. Was the cliff scene nearly as impactful before the release of rdr2? absolutely not! Playing as john, we were thrown in with a baseline knowledge of their history, and now knowing the full story makes the cliff scene quite the harrowing experience if youre able to grasp the intricacies of dutchs character, to look at him as more than "just a villain".

This turned out to be far more ranty then I wanted, but I am so tired of seeing so much mischaracterization and demonization of a character with literally days worth of content to look at and study that shows some of the points I see from people to just be blatantly wrong. Lol

#speak less #red dead redemption 2 #dutch van der linde #rdr2 #vandermatthews #do people talk in the tags?#i swear i see that sometimes #anyway!! hiii!!!#van der linde gang

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chaoticspeedrun · 1 year

Note

Hello! I hope you are well!

I saw that you wanted some ideas for a fic, i have a request if thats okay. I have an request for an donnie x reader (can be gn or fem!, either is fine), where the reader seems like the villain but is trying to protect them from a bigger badder villain maybe like big mama for example? Maybe like a lovers to enemies to lovers trope? Or just a enemies to lovers trope.

Anywho i love your work! Please remember to take breaks and please remember to eat and drink something today. Bye bye!❤

AN: You guys are worrying about me and my health, it’s so sweet, I’ll try though my ADHD brain might forget, thank you <3 also, your brain is beautiful anon, villain reader lovers to enemies to lovers?? *chef’s kiss* How could I pass that up?

This one took a while because I got excited and it got long, I love how it turned out though.

Trust fall

Pairing: Rise!Donnie x Fem! reader (No use of Y/N)

Type: Oneshot

Summary: Donnie fell in love with you slowly but steadily, he would have trusted you with his life, which is why finding out you were working with a villain was too hard of a hit to take.

Warnings: Angst with a happy ending, break-ups, reader says f*ck once.

MASTERLIST

Donnie didn’t think he was too trusting, but sometimes he didn’t have the insight to people Leo and Mikey would, his own ego made him think he couldn’t be fooled, and maybe, just maybe, that would be his downfall.

He met you at the Big Nexus Hotel, you were staying there for a couple of days to try something different is what you said, a human in a huge hotel full of yokai who was suddenly ran over by a mutant ninja turtle in his attempts to escape the claws of a big feral dog called Gus.

Donnie hurried to protect you, grabbing your hand and pulling you into a run alongside him, because you were a civilian suddenly involved in the situation since Gus had seen you together, so now you were in danger too.

The moment he saw Leo on the other side of the hallway waving and opening a portal Donnie didn’t hesitate to go through it, dragging you along and directly into the lair where Mikey and Raph were already staring at you in shock, Leo just whistled, closing the portal behind him before asking.

“Well DonTron, aren’t you going to introduce us?”

Introductions were a messy affair, where you explained you’d been staying at the hotel for two days before what happened, and they explained themselves in a way. You took their explanation in stride, just accepting mutants and Yokai were a thing after the crazy persecution scene just a moment before.

Your easy acceptance put them all at ease, they were shocked at it, yes, but thought nothing more while Mikey excitedly asked if you wanted to stay for dinner and Leo just made a side comment about your attitude to them being a little weird.

Donnie should have thought it out further.

You were fitting right in and sitting at the table with them, but even after the crazy day you just had you still had enough energy to ask Donnie about his battle shell, the question then went over to his tech bō, him explaining how he got his hands on the titanium used on most of his things and then switched over to sci-fi movies, Leo joining the conversation in smalls bursts at that.

You left the lair with four new phone numbers and after a couple of months, you were already a new addition to their little found family.

You made friends with April real quick and then with Sunita, their father seemed to like you and whenever you came over you usually brought a little something with you, cookies, pizza, coffee, just something for the guys, waving off their thanks and telling them it was just good manners, even when Raph repeatedly insisted you didn’t have to, while Leo would immediately ask what you brought that day once you walked through the door.

The pride and warmth that came to Donnie whenever you’d ask about his projects, the new videogame he was into, with all your attention never straying from his rants, or when you’d laugh at one of his jokes started growing and changing into something else with each of your visits.

You were always considerate of them, but he couldn’t figure out how with just a small exchange of texts between the both of you before your arrival at the lair you always seemed to be able to tell if he was in the mood for plain black coffee or a lavender latte and would walk into his lab with a small greeting plus the steaming cup in your hands.

Small things like that increased and slipped into your interactions, making him feel like you knew and understood him better than anyone else.

It made him happy, it made him nervous at times. He started making things for you, gift giving was one of his love languages, why wouldn’t he use it with one of his closest friends? One of his favorite people.

But your reaction to his gifts made him short-circuit, you were so happy, so genuine in your excitement, asking questions about the gadget he made to facilitate your routine and communication with the lair and using it as much as you could.

He started making more things for you, and you reciprocated with your own little gifts to him.

At some point you were both just stuck at the hip, always together when you were at the lair, standing by each other’s side during missions, and texting or calling when you weren’t present.

The guys teased him constantly for months and he would deny what they said until April basically slapped him in the face with the knowledge they all had and he had been in denial about.

He was in love with you.

And it scared him enough to hide in his lab for a couple of days before Leo portaled Mikey wearing full Dr. Feelings attire inside for the longest lecture of his life.

With all the courage he could manage to get from his brother and your worried texts asking if he was fine, Donnie realized that he trusted you, and he trusted that regardless of how you felt about him you could continue your friendship just as normal.

You couldn’t, you couldn’t continue your friendship just as normal, because after Donnie managed to confess you jumped into his arms telling him you felt the same, and suddenly it wasn’t all the same, Donnie was practically vibrating in your arms with glee, it was way better.

The time you shared increased if possible and the laughs did too, freer and more frequent; because knowing one another so well was another love language you shared.

Donnie felt he understood you just like you did him, he knew you better than anyone could, had seen you happy, sad, angry, and he could read you just perfectly by now.

Which was why even though, occasionally, you would disappear for a couple of hours or even days, Donnie didn’t even think to ask much of where you were going most of the time, as long as he knew you were just fine, what did it matter? When you came back you would tell him of a lady at the store who fought with you for a box of cookies or about your aunt who lived out of state and always had a weird story to tell.

Leo did ask though, he would ask frequently, and you’d say you had some errands to run, you were going to the store, to a party or a family gathering, and Donnie would say good luck, while Leo would nonchalantly let you go, but his gaze whispered doubts.

One day he spoke them out.

He asked Donnie about what you did those days when you went completely off radar and Donnie looked at Leo like he was insane, telling him it was your business, but his brother wouldn’t budge, and the conversation switched tone quickly with Leo telling Donnie how your attitude was weird.

“It’s the way she doesn’t look anyone in the eyes whenever she goes MIA, it’s different from when she just goes grocery shopping or something, why would she need to go without any communication like that anyways?”

“Please Nardo” Donnie rolled his eyes “It’s called privacy? And some people just feel like staring into the ocular globes of other people is uncomfortable.”

“Does she?” Leo insisted and Donnie knew the answer was usually a no, but he wouldn’t give his brother the satisfaction “It’s not only that Don, why is she always so sketchy when we ask to see her apartment?”

“Can you just drop it Nardo? Some people just prefer their privacy.”

“She is always hanging out at the lair though? But refuses video calls if she’s not out on the street. And how long have we known her for already? So long and not even her boyfriend has seen her apartment or even a picture of her family?”

Donnie winced but refused to give in “She’ll show us when she’s ready! Why is that such a hard concept for you to grasp Nardo? What do you even think she could be hiding from us? How can you be just spouting such baseless claims like my girlfriend is hiding something horrible from us.”

Leo sighed, shifting slightly in place before asking his next question, a bit more careful, Donnie faltered at the change of tone “Can you just check where she is? I want to believe you’re right Don, but there’s something that has just always seemed off about her to me, I won’t ask you again, the moment we see with your GPS that she’s at her parents’ place out of state like she said I’ll completely drop the topic.”

Donnie wasn’t like Leo, he couldn’t read people so easily, but he knew you, and he knew you way better than Leo did, so he knew there was no reason to doubt you and Leo was just reading a nonexistent text between lines that were as clear as they seemed.

So he caved, with an exasperated sigh, he turned to his computer and started typing something to pull out your coordinates with the chip he placed on your phone and hadn’t used, telling himself he’d only do so if there was an emergency, but he could make an exception, then Leo would finally get off both of your backs.

The algorithm showed your location and both boys stared at the screen, the calm expression on Donnie’s face shifted to something more worrying and Leo’s frown returned.

You were at the Grand Nexus Hotel.

There had to be a reason for what he and Leo had found out, and Donnie wanted to figure out what it was.

He was going to ask you when you came back because there was surely an explanation for you going there, so when you came back after a couple of hours with the flashing light of your location glaring at him through the screen, he asked how things went, sure you’d tell him your reasons.

Except you said it was fine and told him a story about your parents being worried about you and asking about your life, how the food was great and other things Donnie realized were pretty generic, too generic.

You were lying to him, and he didn’t even know how long you had been lying for.

Things were changing, and you had noticed, but Donnie avoided your questions, he avoided the topic all together even though it ate at his insides because a part of him still wanted to believe you and kept making excuses.

Only two days after they saw you at the hotel, Leo came into the lab through a portal; Donnie was about to yell at him, but Leo spoke faster.

“She’s at the hotel again, come on, I’ll go for Mikey and Raph.” Leo left immediately after that, and Donnie’s heart was beating faster, how did Leo know that? Had he been following you since then?

He met his brothers in the projector room and Leo’s portal took them to the Grand nexus hotel, Raph and Mikey were asking questions, but Donnie could barely hear them, just automatically following Leo’s instructions to check your location on his GPS, which confirmed that you were right there like his brother said, the turtles all followed until they were right behind the doors to Big Mama’s office, Donnie’s heart sinking further at the realization.

He barely remembers what happened after, the doors were wide open and there you were, dressed in all black, your clothes covering most of you except your eyes but it was you, staring back at him, first wide-eyed and then coldly, standing next to Big Mama comfortably, someone said something and he thinks there was a discussion or exchange of words, but he couldn’t remember, Big Mama herself gave you the order to attack them and he finally noticed a pair of escrima sticks suddenly in your hands as you rushed their way.

You were moving so fast, so practiced, like you had been trained, so unlike when you went on missions with them, you were flowing naturally, using your weapons against Leo, who had met you in the middle, like they were an extension of your body.

He’d tried to teach you to use his bō before, you were so clumsy with it when you tried.

Even that had been a lie.

It was all a blur, suddenly they were all fighting you when more yokai working for Big Mama joined in, Donnie was fighting with a newfound rage, all his scrambled thoughts making him see red, so much red Raph had to restrain him and carry him by force out of there, he heard Mikey trying to reason with him but Donnie ignored him with his eyes set on you.

“WHY?!” He managed to yell when you stopped following them near the entrance of the hotel “WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY GAIN FROM LYING? YOU LIED ABOUT EVERYTHING!”

“What could Big Mama’s guard gain from knowing everything about the turtles that get on her nerves?” You responded coldly and Donnie’s eyes were glassy with rage and pain while his brother pulled them both right through a portal back home.

He cried on April’s shoulder that night, over a pile of his brothers who must have felt betrayed themselves but quietly supported him through the heartbreak.

After that you kept meeting, thankfully you must not have noticed the tracker Donnie had placed on you, because whenever you were doing Big Mama’s dirty work, he got an alarm and they’d find you.

Every time you met, Donnie would remember everything you had done and couldn’t look into your eyes, thankfully he didn’t have to if he was shooting missiles at you from afar, why did he always go for your type? Cute and mean, he just hadn’t realized how mean.

And it wasn’t easy to fight you because despite his common sense and how much he hated himself for it he still had feelings for you, it was horrible, he hated it, he hated it so much, and he couldn’t help but ask himself every single time he saw you even from the corner of his eyes if anything you’d gone through had been real at all.

All the laughs, all the smiles, all the gifts, all your questions, had all of it been a lie? Was there anything in your relationship that could have been real? Was that how you could read him so easily?

It infuriated him to no end, to know he had just handed you over every weakness you could need to fight them.

Except that when they arrived at the lair one night after a successful fight against you, Leo pointed out that you hadn’t used anything you knew against them even once since they found you out.

It made no sense, but he was too tired after seeing you and was walking straight to bed, ignoring his twin’s plea to talk about it and his voice asking if you knew where they lived, why wouldn’t you try to use it? Why had you let them go that day at the hotel—

“Why has she failed every single time we’ve fought when she knows the controls to your tech?!”

Donnie halted and turned to Leo with wide eyes, he had forgotten, how could he be so stupid? He’d forgotten you knew every weakness, every button, every function of his tech.

“You knew that! You knew she could use it if she wanted to sabotage it! Why didn’t you say anything?!” He asked Leo, Raph looked surprised too.

“She can do that? Leo! She could have put us all at risk!”

“But she could have done that from the beginning!” Leo told them, stressing out the last part “She could have done so anytime we fought but she hasn’t! She had a grasp of Donnie’s bō at one time and conveniently touched a button that electrocuted her! Isn’t that suspicious?!”

It was, it was suspicious.

But what about it? There was no questioning you were the bad guy, you had been lying to them about everything, you had been helping Big Mama get her claws into strange artifacts—

Except, Leo was right, Donnie was tired of Leo being right, but you hadn’t gotten Big Mama all those artifacts, you had failed.

Donnie rushed over to Leo and took the latest artifact out of his hands, he rushed with it to his lab where the rest of what they had gotten from you was stored, his brothers following behind.

He hadn’t taken the time to study them, got a couple books that may have some answers about what they were, but studying them had felt like a pain, he lacked motivation, until now.

He rushed through the books, pulling artifacts and making mental notes about them and what they could do together, his brothers tried asking questions and touching them but he pushed them off with his metal limbs.

“Why would Big Mama even use this?” He mumbled, catching their attention “It’s like a defense mechanism against her type of yokai, and this other one is a mechanism against—”

Against a serpent, a chimera, it was a neutralizer.

A smudge on it caught his attention and there it was, in your own writing, ‘Amphisbaena’, one of Big Mama’s champions, the two-headed serpents.

He reached out for another one that had written ‘Cortex’ on it.

‘Operator’

‘Sprite’

‘Troll’

All of them were names of Big Mama’s champions, all of the artifacts labeled with the name of a champion it could either restrain or knock out, they had been hidden deep into the city, guarded carefully but unassumingly, yet you had known exactly where they were.

‘Why has she failed every single time we’ve fought when she knows the controls to your tech?!’

You hadn’t failed, Big Mama hadn’t asked you to get these artifacts in the first place, that’s why you never had backup, you always acted alone, guiding them to these.

Donnie was worried, because why would it be so easy? Why would it be like that? Whatever Big Mama was planning were you really trying to stop it? Was it foolish of him to believe that? The slight glimmer of hope he hadn’t managed to discard begged him to believe it was true, but could he? Why would he?

Why should he fall again for your lies? This could all just be a trap.

So he turned to his brother, who’d been putting together the pieces while watching over his shoulder, turned to Leo, so he could wake him up with the cold harsh truth, squash that small last glimmer of hope Donnie had so he could move on.

But when he did Leo had that look in his eyes like the cat that caught the canary, there was relief in his face and Donnie’s eyes widened while his twin turned to him.

“We need to get through Big Mama’s security and find out her plans, we’ll infiltrate her office tomorrow if you can figure out by then how these things work” Leo spoke confidently, starting to explain a plan to the rest of them while Donnie was unable to stop the hope from growing in his chest.

The boys were right in Big Mama’s office, the others guarding while Donnie looked through her computer for anything that could help them.

Finally, he found something, a whole file, but it was better if he just took it and read it at home, he started downloading the information and looking it over to make sure it was what they needed when he heard a thump and Mikey’s yell.

“Turtley-boos, I thought we’d already talked about this” Big Mama’s voice echoed through the room and Donnie saw her right at the door “No stealing from Mama.”

Leo and Raph went to attack while Donnie kept glancing at the tab’s process and cursing the size of it, just one more moment just one moment.

And then he remembered the artifacts, he took the one labeled ‘Big Mama’ and threw it “Leo!”

Leo caught it with an “ahá!” and pointed it at the spider before realizing he had no idea how it worked “Gah!” Leo was pinned against the wall by a web while Big Mama took the artifact in her hands with a new expression on her face.

“HOW did you get this?” She asked but the artifact was taken from her hands by a pair of five-fingered ones.

“Guess” You said before pressing on the side of the artifact and opening it, a burst of light came from Big Mama like the artifact was a vacuum for her energy and the spider yokai dropped, glaring up at you, a hint of amusement in her otherwise angry eyes.

She chuckled humorlessly “Oh I knew there was something I liked about you, I just hoped you were as smart as your parents when choosing a side.”

“My parents have never controlled me BM, and neither could you” You snarled before hearing guards approaching your door.

You rushed out to take something from Big Mama’s pocket, she tried to claw at you but you were faster.

You quickly made your way to Leo, using a laser to destroy the web, he fell with a screech before you pushed his Katana onto his chest.

“Get us to champion’s row, now!” You yelled.

“We still don’t know what she’s planning!” Donnie replied from where he stood at the computer.

“I’ll tell you! But we need to reach her champions NOW!” Your eyes were looking at him imploringly and while Donnie wanted to fight you and ask why he should trust you at all the familiar steps were getting closer and he cursed pulling himself away from the computer while Leo opened the portal, you all went through, and appeared at the entrance of champion’s row, where the halls were silent.

Mikey suddenly jumped into your arms making you stumble a bit with your eyes open wide.

“I knew it! I knew you couldn’t be on Big Mama’s side, you were always hiding something but I had the feeling you were protecting us!”

WHAT?

Donnie’s exasperation was slightly clouded when you closed your eyes and hugged Mikey back with all your strength, breathing with what Donnie knew was relief before you pulled back from the hug, your expression firm.

“Big Mama has been looking for an old jewel that is said to possess the power to control all yokai, she found it just recently and hid it under the surveillance of her champions, she was waiting for a big event, but because of what just happened she’ll want to use it now, that’s why we have to neutralize her champions and get the jewel before she recovers and comes for it—”

“And you know this because?” Donnie asked, glaring at you, and seeing how your shoulders tensed before sighing and reaching up to remove your mask.

“My parents work with Big Mama” You mumbled, the silence was dense for a moment “They work for the human part of the hotel’s business and raised me to continue their work, I was trained from a young age because a human working with the yokai mob boss is clearly not a safe job.”

“Woah, Okay! So, you are supposed to inherit their side of the business? And why should we trust you then? Why should we help you?!” Donnie asked, his voice getting louder and echoing through the halls as he walked up to you, he knew it, there it was! They couldn’t believe you.

You didn’t react much, looking back at Donnie with something akin to resignation, like you weren’t expecting anything less, calmly you continued speaking “I’ve hated what my parents and Big Mama do my whole life” you said while Donnie looked for any shift in your expression “When I was a kid I was exposed to the battle nexus, I saw the fights and then I saw the warriors trapped in their cells down here, saw them battle to the death with other people who didn’t even have a chance and how the yokai enjoyed the show, making bets for the next fight when there was a corpse left down in the arena.” Donnie faltered slightly, listening to the hurt in your words.

“I threw up the first time I saw it, while my parents told me I’d get used to it eventually, and I refused them, I had a rebellious phase, they called it, until I realized, if I was here, I could learn how to change things and tamper with BM’s plans, so suddenly, I became their golden child.” There was a new glint in your eyes, Donnie wished you’d stop giving him reasons to hope.

“How long had you been working with her?” Leo asked, and you sighed.

“Two days before I met you guys, BM took me in to become a guard at her side so I could see how she ran the business from up close and that’s when I learned about the jewel.”

“Then why didn’t you tell us?” Raph who had been mostly quiet so far asked a little defensively “We could have helped you if we knew.”

“It was risky” Your voice sounded pleading “After meeting you BM started suspecting me for being around you that one time, so I had to prove I had nothing to do with you to her, if you suddenly seemed to know things about her plans that you shouldn’t she would have immediately distrusted me.” Your eyes strayed to Donnie’s with so much sadness in them and he would have pulled at his hair if he had any, it was so hard to not give in to that look, but he knew better than to do so.

“The day you found me out at the hotel I wanted to talk to you guys and come out clean with everything, but Big Mama was angry and suspicious because you clearly knew who I was, so she started keeping information from me, leaving her side would have made everything I’d worked for meaningless and I wouldn’t have realized when she got her hands on the jewel, I panicked but knew she wouldn’t just use it quietly, she would have gone with a big event, so I found out where she was guarding it and started guiding you with Donnie’s tracker to the artifacts, if I had them BM could have found out, but with you, they’d be safer.”

“All right!” Leo sounded chipper “So where is the jewel? So we can get out of here pronto and talk over pizza about how disowned you are.” Raph and Mikey hummed in agreement, Mikey mentioning something about getting your favorite before Donnie raised his hands up.

“Just like that? We are just going to trust her and welcome her back to the circle?! Like nothing happened, she still lied to us! She still lied to me!” Donnie pointed at himself with his thumb, an angry glare directed straight at you, and he saw you wilt in place, his glare trembled but there was a loud hiss coming from the hallway right at that moment.

You all hadn’t exactly been quiet that whole time.

“It’s Amphisbaena! Quick, this way!” You reflexively took hold of Donnie’s arm, pulling him through another hall before letting go “The artifact! It will knock them out, just turn the cover!”

Donnie rushed to pull the artifact out before Mikey took it from his hands, pointing it excitedly at the serpent that was getting too close for comfort.

There was a screech and a thump before both heads were on the floor completely knocked out, you pointed to another hall and went running, the boys all following you while Donnie passed them each one of the artifacts.

“We’re close! Just this one and the jewel should be behind the bars—” your voice was interrupted by a loud growl and you seemed to pale

“Who’s that?” Donnie asked going through the labels of artifacts they’d already gone through, one of them held a little tiny Sprite in there, the angry champion unable to get out and hitting the glass with her fists.

“It’s Kraken Tom, I couldn’t find anything for Kraken Tom” you said in a panic, right at that moment a black tentacle reached out from your right and took you in its grasp while you screamed.

Donnie yelled your name before taking out his staff “Let her go you outgrown cephalopod!” A big missile launcher construct in neon purple materialized before shooting at the Kraken right in the face, the Kraken screeched before letting go of you due to the pain, you were falling rapidly before being caught in Donnie’s arms, you looked up at him enamored but he wasn’t looking back, glaring at the Kraken before letting you back down.

“Hey buddy, miss me?” Leo asked the Kraken before slicing through one of its tentacles while another tried to reach him “Donnie! You two go for the jewel, we’ll take care of this.”

Donnie and you looked at each other before rushing down the hallway, finally, you found what you were looking for, behind a strong container was the jewel.

“why can’t Leo just take it out with a portal?” Donnie asked as you rummaged through the pouch on your waist.

“It has a barrier against mystic arts, I took this from Big Mama back at her office” you said holding up a key in your hands and twisting it through the lock, immediately the jewel was released but a green portal opened behind you, sending chills through your spine.

“Oh darling, I thought your parents taught you better than this, they’ll be very disappointed” Big Mama was right behind you and you pulled out the artifact again but your hand holding it was pinned to the wall immobile a moment later with her web goop.

“Donnie take the gem!” You turned to him with desperation and he did quickly pocketing the thing before pointing his staff at Big Mama but she was already holding her claws to your neck.

“You should think twice turtley-boo, it’s the gem or her neck” She hummed, her claws already pulling at the skin but you refused to express your pain.

“Take it Donnie! You must leave now!” You yelled and he growled.

“Don’t be daft, like that would happen, this though, looks interesting” Donnie smirked with the jewel pointed right at Big Mama who gasped and pulled more blood from your neck before a beam of light made her eyes whiten, suddenly over the control of Donnie.

“Come on!” He said taking your hand in his and pulling you away from Big Mama who was starting to wake up from the trance since Donnie didn’t know how to use the jewel.

You both reached the guys who were finishing with Kraken Tom, when Leo saw you he immediately created another portal “let’s blow this popsicle stand” he said and you all ran through it.

You were in the med bay with Leo as he treated the cut on your neck, which was thankfully superficial, while Mikey prepared some dinner for you all.

It was really quiet for a bit, you were clearly uncomfortable after everything and couldn’t read what Leo might be thinking, as far as you knew he was the one who found you out, he suspected you for a while and you couldn’t blame him, it may have been to protect them and your mission but you had been lying to them this whole time, going as far as to hide your fighting abilities so they wouldn’t ask too much, the idea of pizza at their dinner table wasn’t something you entertained, your plan was to leave after everything and give them space.

Give Donnie space, despite how much it would hurt you.

“I know he understands why you did it” Leo broke the silence, still looking at the wound while cleaning it “It makes sense, it was logical and by this point he knows you only had good intentions, he does it all the time himself, good things that look wrong.” You snorted looking away.

“He’s right though, I lied, and he has no reason to trust me again after everything.” You said bitterly “I fucked up Leo, and Donnie deserves way better than me.”

“Maybe let him decide that?” Leo looked at you and you expected him to look stern, but his gaze was full of concern, for you? For Donnie? It was a brotherly concern you didn’t think would be directed at you again “I’m not saying it’s fine, you hurt him, he has every right to be angry at you, I know I was pissed” he gave you a lazy grin and you looked down again “But you were protecting him, weren’t you?”

“Big Mama would have gone after you all if she’d known I was friends with you.”

“I’m not talking about that” He rolled his eyes “I’m talking about the fact that you could have found a way to tell us everything and you didn’t because you knew Donnie would have tried to help you and put himself at risk, you thought it was better for him to hate you.”

You kept looking down, but then you heard a very familiar voice at the entrance of the med bay.

“That’s just so stupid” Donnie snarled lowly, and you tensed up, Leo finished bandaging up your neck and stood up, sending a reassuring look your way before walking out of the bay and leaving you with his purple-coded brother.

There was only silence while Donnie sat down in front of you where Leo had been, you finally broke it by speaking “What did you do to the jewel?”

“I destroyed it” He sighed sounding bitter “I wanted to study it but it’s probably better that no one gets their hands on it” he said as if he had been trying to convince himself of that “I also recovered a bunch of data from Big Mama’s computer”

At that he looked into your eyes and your own widened slightly as you realized what he must have found.

“She was planning to control me specifically” It wasn’t a question, just a fact “to create something that would allow her to increase the range of the jewel, is that why you were there when we broke in? To slip the info over to us somehow?”

“Yes” you mumbled and heard him sigh, he slumped slightly in his place, but his posture was a bit more relaxed, and you dared to look up, just to find him staring straight at you, his eyes softer than they’d been since that day at the hotel when he’d seen you with Big Mama.

“What was the truth? Were you dating me just for convenience? So you could help us because you knew I was in danger?”

“No!” You scrambled to answer quickly, eyes open wide and startling him for a moment, you looked pained at the thought “No of course not, none of that was a lie” you pleaded “About working with Big Mama and my disappearances, that was, my relationship with my parents and about my fighting skills those were because otherwise, you could have found out the first part, but none of our interactions were fake or staged, I wasn’t trying to get to you in the beginning, it was pure coincidence.”

The corners of Donnie’s mouth twitched down slightly as he tried to school his expression, but he was having a hard time doing so when your glassy eyes made him want to hold you tight back in his arms.

“Donnie I was never planning on falling in love with you, I just did” your voice had gotten lower, almost scared and he decided he’d had enough, quickly pulling you into a tight embrace, he felt you stiffen before relaxing and hiding your face in his shoulder, it felt wet, and he realized you were crying, so he held you tighter, holding back his own tears of relief.

“You’re going to have a lot of explaining to do, I want a full essay on everything that happened from then to now and no more lies, not even small ones, about Big Mama, your parents, everything” you didn’t say anything but nodded into his shoulder, he started drawing circles on your back with his fingers before continuing “But for now I just want to get some food into my system and hold my girlfriend in my arms while we watch Jupiter Jim Pluto vacation IV”

You separated from the hug looking up at him with teary eyes open wide, you looked so confused but he just reached up to wipe the tears while you attempted to form words “Ar-are you sure? Donnie, you don’t have to get back with me or hell, even forgive me if you don’t want to”

“Why would I not forgive the person who sacrificed her own well-being for mine? Your methods may have been less than ideal but I’m not stupid enough to let you go after all of that.” His voice was chiding, but his expression was soft and a small smile had started forming in his face.

You reached up quickly to place your lips over his and he held the back of your head to pull you closer.

You felt like you still had to make up for much, but Donnie was fine, and if anything was true it was that he loved you as much as you loved him.

#rise donnie x reader #rottmnt donnie x reader #rottmnt x reader #rottmnt fanfiction #rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise! donnie #rottmnt donatello x reader #donatello x reader #donnie x reader

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thegirlwhowrites642 · 3 months

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Hi, please free to ignore( huge fan of your metas btw)

What are your thoughts on Peter pettigrew? In swm we saw him fanboying over james to being responsible for his death. Just because he was afraid or he never really loved his friends. Many people say James and Sirius treated him shitty thats why he betrayed. Some even say he was just a tag along. Please share your thoughts.

First of all, thank you!

(also, unless they are rude, I don't ignore any questions, it might just take me two years to answer)

Peter Pettigrew

My very controversial opinion on Peter is that I love him (as a character).

To me, Peter is one of those characters who represent how Rowling's clear lack of self-awareness as a person translates in her work into her being unable to recognize her strengths as a writer. The majority of the most interesting things she comes up with are not the ones she focuses on.

And that's the case for Peter Pettigrew, who might be the Marauder with the most interesting story.

It's way too easy to reduce him to a coward as the author seems to want you to believe. And even claiming he didn't love his friends is a flattening of his character.

You can have a tendency to be influenced by peer pressure all you want but you don't become an unregistered animagus to help someone if you don't love the friend you are doing that for and you don't have a bit of courage (especially considering how long the whole thing was and that he wasn't particularly talented). He risked extremely severe consequences on his body due to the possibility of the process going wrong and he risked Azkaban for being unregistered.

That's fundamentally the opposite behavior of the one he later has with the Potters.

I also think it's important to point out how Remus is not a close relative (father, son, brother) and how the help Peter provides is not essential to Remus' survival, it's emotional comfort. The lack of necessity of the animagus matter and the easily cancellable bond with Remus increase the braveness and love of Peter's act (in contrast for example with something like what Narcissa does with her son by lying to Voldemort).

I think Peter's story is the one of someone who lost his courage, not the one of a person who never had it.

Doesn't this also make it so much more delicious how his downfall is caused by the return of a glimpse of honor?

I do agree with the fact that in SWM, James and Sirius don't treat him particularly well, especially Sirius, but I don't think they are that aware of it, especially James. They are a bit crude, and they are arrogant. They are two bright posh 16yo guys in a boarding school in the 70s. I don't expect from them a particularly high level of sensitivity in how they talk to people, especially to someone they take for granted knows to be their friend. Sirius is probably more aware of it, but I believe James to be quite unaware of himself at this point in the timeline. This is before his maturation really kicks in, his whole interaction with Lily shows a lack of self-awareness in how he talks to people (we know Lily turns him into a bit of an idiot, the problem is that he doesn't seem to be aware of it). Sirius on the other hand seems a lot more self-aware than James. A lot of people are not going to like what I'm about to say but: James is canonically a better person than Sirius.

And yet, it is abundantly clear that both James and Sirius love Peter.

James gives into Peter's hands his own life and the ones of his wife and son. Sirius gives in Peter's hands the lives of the family he chose.

In the Shrieking Shack, under all the pain Sirius has for the death of James and Lily, it is evident that there's also the pain that comes from the betrayal of a friend.

"THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED!" roared Black. "DIED RATHER THAN BETRAY YOUR FRIENDS, AS WE WOULD HAVE DONE FOR YOU!" - Chapter 19, Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban

Lily herself is very attached to Peter, in her letter to Sirius, she calls him Wormy (how cute is that?). And, let's remember that she too puts her life and the ones of her husband and son in Peter's hands.

It's too easy to say Peter was just a tagalong, that they didn't love him. It incredibly diminishes the pain of his act.

I also would like to point out that Peter isn't stupid. He was a double agent, he managed to frame Sirius by using in his favor people’s low opinion of his skills (and Remus and Sirius' rocky relationship). James, Sirius, and Remus might have thought of themselves as smarter than Peter but I don't think they actually believed him to be stupid. Considering who the Marauders are, their knowing how good of a liar, and how cunning Peter could be, would be a perfect explanation of why they became friends in the first place.

Does this mean they all loved Peter but Peter only loved Remus out of his friends?

We can't really be sure of his feelings for Sirius, but the admiration he shows for James and the sense of guilt we know he has for his double agent activities don't really align with that image.

I think Peter's fear for his own life ended up winning over the love for his friends.

But why at this point? Why not at Hogwarts?

Something quite interesting is how Peter's father is the only parent of the Marauders who is never mentioned, not in the books, not in any additional material. Doesn't that align just so well with Peter always putting himself at the service of the most important male figure around? First James, and then after school, with the war going on, Voldemort.

Isn't it such a fitting image, Peter growing up without a father, with a too-cuddling mother whom he ends up resenting, faulting her for the absence of the father? It's so natural to paint him as a young man crushed by a sense of inadequacy towards an image of masculinity he idealizes but can't fulfill, supported by a society filled with a very toxic sense of masculinity and an absent father he can sew on any fantasy he wants.

When Peter was at Hogwarts, being friends with James, and being part of the Marauders, gave Peter a sense of security that allowed him to be brave enough to prioritize his love for his friends over himself.

Out in the real world, though, Voldemort is the dominant man and being positioned against the Dark Lord takes away the sense of security he had as a student. Both times Peter goes to Voldemort, he does it because he doesn't feel safe.

It's also abundantly clear how Peter's siding with Voldemort doesn't come from ideology. He becomes an animagus for Remus, he's a dear friend of Lily.

Peter dies because Voldemort doesn't trust him, and he is right in not trusting him. Somewhere in Peter, there's still the boy who risked his life for a friend.

Try to tell me this is not an interesting character.

He's still a coward overall, but a complex one.

Also, Peter Pettigrew is a clear victim of pretty privilege when it comes to the fandom. I'm ready to bet whatever you want that if he had been described as handsome the most popular ship with Sirius would be Sirus/Peter.

Actually, he didn't even have to be described as handsome, he just needed to not be described as ugly. Draco is described as having a pointy face and people have been lying to themselves claiming he's incredibly handsome for the last twenty-five years.

#peter pettigrew #marauders #james potter #sirius black #remus lupin #lily evans #harry Potter

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