#that donkey ain’t never gonna forget that | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nayutai · 4 years

Text

Sleep Walker

⇢ Genre fluff (this nearly killed Jesus Christ fluff authors are powerful)

⇢ Pairing Jimin x OC

⇢ Word Count 4251

⇢ Summary Jimin finds himself wandering into a 24-hour coffee shop after his efforts to sleep have proved unsuccessful where he finds more than just the caffeine boost he needs to get through his day

⇢ Notes this goes out to my love bug @tae-tae-drives-me-kray

Working the night shift at a 24-hour coffee shop makes for a very boring shift. Most of the customers clear out by the time that two o’clock rolls around and those who do pop in are on their way to their own early morning shifts and generally don’t stay long. They also don’t usually start arriving until at least 4:30. For Amira, this means that she can eat snacks and binge watch Supernatural until the day time people show up for the most part. At $11 an hour it’s a pretty cushy gig if you don’t mind the fucked up sleep schedule.

The sound of the bell above the door tinkling loudly just before three sends Amira flying from her perch on a stool behind the counter. Whoever it is giggles melodically at the flurry of creative curses that come out of her mouth as she rises to your feet dramatically. She gives them a dirty look that softens at the way their eyes twinkle even in the low light of the cafe.

“Are you okay?” At least they have the decency to ask about her well-being after nearly giving her a heart attack. The lower half of their face is covered in a mask and a baseball cap sits low on his head. If it weren’t for the fact that this person’s eyes look so friendly she’d be standing a lot closer to the silent alarm and the baseball bat that her manager allows her to store under the counter.

“Just peachy for someone who was on the verge of death. What would you like to order?” He rattles off the name of some frappuccino thing with an assload of ingredients and Amira has the sudden urge to beat her head against the granite countertop. Being that she works night shift, most of her barista knowledge circled the memory drain a long time ago due to the fact that the most complicated thing the early morning demographic orders is flavored iced coffee. A walk in the park compared to the science experiments that the daytime crew is required to mix up throughout the day.

“I’m gonna keep it real with you, chief. I forgot how to make this but I don’t have the authorization to do refunds so if it’s bad you’re stuck with it.”

“At this point, it could be dishwater and I’d drink it as long as it’s got caffeine.”

And yet he ordered one of the froo froo drinks Amira thinks to herself. Those drinks have the least amount of caffeine out of everything on the menu. He’ll be asleep before he even finishes his drink.

“Well if caffeine is what you need, this drink isn’t what you want. I’ve got just the thing though.” You put away the clear cup for the frappucino with his consent and reach for a regular coffee cup. “What’s your name? I know you’re the only one here but it’s against store policy for any cup to leave this hellhole without a name on it.” He seems to panic at the thought of giving up his name, a wary look morphing his gaze. Her brows creases as she watches him contemplate how he wants to answer what she thinks is a very simple question.

“Jimin...” He says after a minute.

“Ha, that’s cool. There’s a guy in BTS with the same-“ Amira’s hand freezes halfway through writing his name as her drowsy brain starts connecting some very important dots. The news lady on channel six had said they’d be in town this weekend but never in a million years did she expect something like this to happen. She peeks at him from beneath her lashes. He looks ready to bolt out the door at the slightest provocation so she do her absolute best to remain calm for his sake.

Alright, sis you can do this. Just stay cool, calm, and collected. Mama ain’t raise a loser you can do this.

Jimin visibly relaxes when Amira starts writing again and turns to start making his drink. It’s a special concoction she makes for her fellow graveyard peeps. It’s strong enough to knock a donkey on its ass which is why it’s such a hit. One of her regulars, a long haul trucker, tells Amira all the time that he doesn’t know how he’d make it through his long drives without the liquid defibrillator that he practically orders by the gallon. Definitely doesn’t seem safe but he’s got an incredible driving record and he always brings her a fistful of the soft peppermint candies she’s partial to.

“Thank you for not freaking out. I’m not really supposed to be here.” Jimin mumbles as he accepts his drink. He loves interacting with fans but not at two a.m when he’s barely able to stand up from his lack of sleep.

“I gathered as much. Not many global superstars stroll through here at this hour or at all really.” Amira give him a smile that she hopes puts him at ease and, judging by the way his lips turn up a bit, it may have worked.

“Couldn’t sleep and we’ve got interviews all day so at this point I don’t have time to sleep hence the desperate need for caffeine.” He takes a cautious sip of the drink in his hand. She wasn’t kidding when she said that it would help. The caffeine hits his veins with the force of a speeding bullet train and Jimin already feels more alert just a few sips in.

Somehow, talking about his sleep troubles snowballs into a conversation about Disney movies and why Maleficent is the baddest bitch in the Disney realm when the blaring of his ringtone cuts her rant short. A heavy sigh escapes him at the interruption. He’d much rather listen to the adorable barista in front of him continue her impassioned argument, but duty calls.

“Guess that’s my cue. Thank you for the drink and the company.”

“No problem! If that shit starts fucking with your heart rate though you did not get it here. I refuse to be attacked by your twitter army for giving you heart palpitations. I ain’t built for that type of guerilla warfare.” Jimin full on belly laughs, nearly dropping the rest of his drink in the process. He couldn’t get rid of the goofy smile on his face even if he wanted to.

He grips the door handle in his hand but something is holding him back. Something feels unfinished and his feet refuse to move any further until that changes. Jimin turns around to see the source of his frozen feet standing behind the counter again, staring at his still form curiously. Before he can stop himself, Jimin crosses the short distance, snatching the pen stuck to the top of her apron to scribble his phone number on a nearby napkin. The gagging noises she makes when she realize what he’s just done make him feel justified in his rash decision. This time when he backs away, the smile on his face is one of mischief.

“Don’t let this be the last time I talk to you or I’ll never forgive you.” Jimin’s steps feel lighter as he treks back to the hotel to face the wrath of his manager. He hopes desperately that she texts him later. A frown replaces the grin behind his face mask at the prospect of his new crush not contacting him after tonight. His steps falter slightly as he processes the fact that he just met her not even a full hour ago and has already developed a full-fledged crush on her. Oh, Amira, so powerful and yet so unaware of it.

[Amira]: best friend

[Amira]: rise from the dead

[Amira]: I have a story to tell and before you even ask no it can’t wait until a decent hour

[Pomegranate]: if this doesn’t involve you meeting BTS or you hitting the lottery and paying off my crippling student loan debt I promise I don’t care

[Amira]: ….sometimes I swear you’re psychic

[Pomegranate]: BITCH DID YOU HIT THE LOTTO?????

[Pomegranate]: I BEEN YOUR BEST FRIEND FOR 13 YEARS DON’T FORGET ABOUT ME

[Amira]: shut up I didn’t hit the lottery but I did meet someone from BTS…

[Amira]: Jimin to be more specific

Incoming call from Pomegranate

“Well look what we have here. A traitor.” Jimin rolls his eyes at Taehyung’s dramatics but his best friend and bandmate is having none of it. “How dare you go traipsing off into the concrete jungle without me? We’re supposed to cause mayhem together and you left my ass in the middle of the night like I’m some side chick.”

“It’s really not this deep, Tae.”

“To you. Which is exactly why I snitched to Sejin.” Of course, Taehyung was the one to rat him out to their manager. He could be quite vengeful when he felt that he’d been wronged and obviously he took not being invited on his late night coffee hunt as a personal affront. The Capricorn energy coursing through his veins absolutely could not let that stand.

Jimin opens his mouth to respond when his phone vibrates in his pocket. He ignores it for the sake of pacifying Taehyung but when it vibrates twice more his curiosity gets the best of him.

[Unknown]: uhhhh hi?

[Unknown]: ew that was awkward as hell pls forgive me

[Unknown]: shit I didn’t even tell you who I am wow anyways this is the barista you tried to kill earlier also known as Amira

Jimin snorts at Amira’s messages which piques Taehyung’s interest in a major way. He can’t recall a time when his friend has ever looked so disgustingly happy over a text message from anybody. Just as he’s about to lean over to look at the screen, Jimin shoves the sleek iPhone right in his face. He’s babbling on and on about how funny and cute this Amira person is which only serves to further confuse Taehyung.

“I just want you to know that none of that made sense to me.”

Taehyung is almost sorry that he asked as Jimin launches into an impassioned retelling of the beautiful girl that made him a drink that is sure to keep him up until the end of time. A slow smile spreads across Taehyung’s face as he connects the dots. Jimin has a crush. A big one. He can’t wait to tell the other members that their precious Jiminie has finally found someone that meets his incredibly high standards. Out of all the idols back home, both male and female, that have practically thrown themselves at Jimin’s chelsea boots and it’s a random cafe employee that manages to make him totally enraptured.

“So let me get this straight,” Amira’s eyes follow her best friend Cameren as she paces back and forth across her living room. “It’s a regular degular night at work until some guy in a mask walks in and scares the shit outta you. Lo and behold that guy is fucking Park Jimin from BTS and you make him drink that god awful elixir of the damned you insist on serving to people and he actually liked it?”

“Not just that.” She fishes the napkin with Jimin’s number on it out of the pocket of her sweatshirt and carefully unfolds it so that Cameren can see the string of digits scratched into the napkin. The creative string of curses that fly out her mouth would make most people blush but after more than a decade of impassioned screaming, Amira doesn’t even flinch. Her eyes widen comically though when she notices Cameren reaching forward as if to snatch the napkin out of her hand. She thanks God for gifting her with reflexes quick enough to keep it out of Cameren’s reach.

“Bitch! Let me see it.”

“No! He gave me this because he obviously trusted me not to pass it around and I don’t plan to disappoint my future husband this early in the game.” She replies indignantly.

“Look at you. All delusional and shit but whatever I respect it.” Cameren declares as she props herself on the coffee table in front of her best friend. “So, did you text him?”

“Of course I did. Who do you think I am?” Cameren opens her mouth to respond with what is no doubt going to be some witty quip about exactly who she thinks Amira is, but she’s interrupted by the tell-tale ping of her phone receiving a text message. The shocked look on Cameren’s face is perfectly mirrored on Amira’s as she slowly picks her phone up from the couch cushion she’d sat it on.

[Kristoff Hater]: you’re too adorable to be awkward

Amira sits frozen in place as she reads and rereads his message. There’s no way he just said that. There is absolutely no way in hell that the Park Jimin himself just called her adorable. Have the heavens finally opened up? Did God decide that today is the day that she secures the biggest win of all? She’s in such a state of shock that Amira doesn’t even notice Cameren trying to get her attention until she starts physically shaking her shoulder. Amira’s voice box is still refusing to function so she simply hand over her phone to let Cameren see the message for herself. Her friend’s answering shriek perfectly voices Amira’s own feelings.

“He’s typing again!” Cameren thrusts the phone back into Amira’s hands just in time for another message to appear on the screen but she quickly close the conversation when Jimin starts typing once more. It takes longer than expected but the tell-tale ping from her phone makes Amira’s heart skip a beat at what he could possibly have said this time.

[Kristoff Hater]: speaking of you being adorable I need a contact picture so go ahead and hand one over and no one gets hurt

[Kristoff Hater]: or don’t because you’re an autonomous human being and that’s totally up to you but I would really appreciate a picture of your face because I think you’re you’re cute and wow I’m rambling over text which is super embarrassing so I’m going to stop typing now byeeeee

This time, Amira is the one screaming.

“It’s official. You scared her away.” Taehyung claps Jimin on the back from his spot behind him in the van. Jimin continues to stare dejectedly at the stagnant conversation with his mystery woman. It’s been hours since he’d went out on a limb and asked her for a picture with not even a hint of a response. He’d originally thought that he’d eventually get over it and go back to normal but now he’s not so sure.

“Leave him be, Tae.” Namjoon pipes up from Jimin’s left. “It’s important to fully feel and process your emotions no matter how depressing they are.”

“Oh, so now the wannabe philosopher is going to preach to me?”

“It was probably too good to be true any-she texted me back!”

[Coffee Almost Bae]: I’m so sorry 😭

[Coffee Almost Bae]: In the interest of total transparency I had a meltdown because you called me cute and I’ve spent the last fourteen hours trying to psych myself up to respond

Jimin nearly melts into puddle of feelings right where he sits. This girl is entirely too cute for her own good and she doesn’t even realize it. His fingers start flying in response, but his frantic typing is interrupted by another message.

[Coffee Almost Bae]: I believe you asked for this {image attached}

He’d thought that Amira was cute when he’d first met her at the coffee shop but seeing her in this picture is making his heart race. She’s clearly at dinner with friends judging from the crowded table full of food behind her. He’s incredibly appreciative of the way her jeans snugly hug the hourglass frame that her work uniform hides. His eyes are then drawn upwards to her face and he finds himself getting lost in the sheer brilliance of her smile. Eyes bright with a playful energy. Jimin is sure he’s never seen anyone more captivating.

“Yeah I’m definitely in love.” He proudly shows off Amira’s picture to the rest of the group, relishing in the comments about how pretty she are. Jimin chooses to ignore Yoongi’s comment about how he wasn’t sure that she actually existed until he saw the picture. His heart flutters in his chest as he stares fondly at the picture on his screen. He’s so caught up in her beauty that he forgets that you have to actually reply to the text messages in order to keep a conversation going. Until his phone vibrates in his hand.

[Coffee Almost Bae]: OH MY GOD YOU THINK I’M UGLY DON’T YOU I KNEW THIS WAS A MISTAKE I HATE IT HERE

Jimin’s eyes go wide as he realizes the unforeseen consequence that his awestruck staring has resulted in. The concerned questions from the other members roll off his back as he tries to fix the mess he made. The two extra concert tickets that he’d been holding for two of his friends suddenly come to mind. Frustrated with the way he keeps misspelling words in his haste, Jimin throws caution to the wind and hits the call button. He doesn’t know why he’s so desperate to fix this, especially since he just met this girl less than forty eight hours ago but he can’t deny the nerves coursing through him as he waits for Amira to answer the phone.

“Cameren, he thinks I’m ugly. I just know he does.” Amira whines and it’s nearly Cameren’s breaking point. She sighs frustratedly over the phone as she does her best not to yell at Amira for overthinking and sending herself into a panic.

“This man saw you in an unforgiving barista uniform, bare-faced, at three in the morning and still somehow thought you were cute.” Cameren can hear Amira inhale to interrupt her but she powers through, giving her no option but to listen. “If he saw you looking like that then there’s now way he thought the picture you sent him was ugly so stop overreacting. He’s a fucking international superstar someone probably stopped him for an autograph or something. Or maybe he thinks you’re insane for losing your shit because he took more than five minutes to respond.”

On a more rational level, Amira knows that Cameren is right, but it’s not every day that a girl actually gets to live out their fantasy like this. So naturally, she’s insecure and full of nervous energy that is near impossible to get rid of. What if his sleep deprivation made him delirious? What if fully awake Jimin thinks he made a mistake? Cameren is still ranting when Amira’s phone beeps with another phone call. She pull the device away from her ear to see who it is and nearly choke on her own spit.

“He’s calling me! I gotta go.” She ends the call with Cameren and answer Jimin’s before her overactive nerves can convince her not to. The second Amira accepts the call, all that can be heard is Jimin apologizing profusely. Somewhere in there he mentions something about concert tickets and soundcheck and her brain decides to finally kick in to get some clarification.

When he finally starts speaking slow enough for her to understand him, Amira is stunned even further into silence. Front row tickets to their next concert with a primo soundcheck position? Yeah, there’s no way she could pass that up, but there is one issue. Their next concert is in Toronto. As if he can sense what she’s thinking, Jimin immediately offers to fly Amira and whoever she wants to bring with her to Toronto. The sound of raucous laughter in the background drowns out his next sentence, so she can only assume the rest of the group is giving him shit for that.

“I can’t let you do that, Jimin.” Amira already knows that Cameren is going to kill her for this when she fills her in later, but she doesn’t want him to feel like she’s using him for free stuff. He tries his absolute best to change her mind but Amira doesn’t let up.

“At least promise me that last night won’t be the last time I see you.”

“I promise. Now go to sleep before I tell army you’re neglecting yourself because I can hear the exhaustion all in your voice.” Jimin laughs at her playful threat which makes her heart swell with pride at being the one to make him laugh like that. After being a fan for so long, Amira can perfectly picture the adorable way his eyes have probably scrunched closed as he laughs with his whole body. The reluctantly bid each other goodbye after Jimin makes her promise once more that they’ll meet again.

Months have passed since the day Jimin turned Amira’s life into a wattpad fanfiction and since then life has changed in numerous ways for both of them. Amira has gotten a new job. A new dog. A new house. Meanwhile, BTS has hopped from country to country playing to sold out stadiums. Broken fistfuls of records that established western acts admittedly balk at. And yet, despite all these changes, Jimin and Amira’s presence in each other’s lives has remained constant. Whether it be a funny meme he saw online, a FaceTime call at an indecent hour because time zones are weird, or even a postcard from whatever part of the globe BTS has ended up in. Despite their best efforts though, their late night conversation over coffee did not get the follow up that they’d promised to have.

Amira is on her way back to work after meeting up with Cameren for lunch when she gets a text from Jimin. It’s a picture of what looks like a schedule for the upcoming month and it looks pretty empty save for a flight to LA on the fifth. The image is accompanied with several eye emojis and Amira connects the dots immediately. The second she returns to the office, she submits a request for two weeks of leave time. After snapping a picture of her screen, her fingers fly across the screen with a quick message to Jimin.

Amira hasn’t seen Jimin in person since that night at the coffee shop and that thought keeps her up at night as the days fly by. No matter how much careful planning they put in to try and see each other something always seemed to come up and foil whatever plans the two of them had concocted, but this time feels different. Like everything might actually fall perfectly into place. That brings up the question about how Amira is going to handle being face to face with Jimin again. All of his flirting and little pet names have been hard to handle over text but to be in the same room with him and keep her cool is going to be a new kind of challenge. He’s been very direct about what his feelings are and though she feels the same, Amira has been hesitant to reciprocate his romantic sentiments in fear that what she feels is rooted in her love for BTS as a fan. Cameren has been Amira’s saving grace with her pep talks but nothing could ever truly prepare her for the force of nature that is Park Jimin spending two uninterrupted weeks in her house.

Jimin arrives in a whirlwind of designer luggage that he quickly tosses aside in favor of peppering kisses all over Amira’s face while she playfully attempts to fight him off. Her terrier Luna runs circles around the both of them in a frenzy at having a new friend to play with her. Amira’s heart is beating erratically in her chest as Jimin switches tactics, choosing to simply hold her close to him.

“Hello to you too, Ji-” His lips pressing against her own stops Amira’s sentence in its tracks.

She’s always admired how soft his lips looked but to find out just how soft they actually are sends a rush of endorphins coursing through her. All of the qualms she’d had about falling for him melt away like ice cream in the summer sun. Her insecurities suddenly seem so significant as his lips mold against her own like they were meant to be there. A deep groan rattles Jimin’s chest when she gets over her initial shock and reciprocates. He tastes of strawberries and the faintest hint of mint when he explores her mouth with his expert tongue. Amira decides then and there that she would gladly die of suffocation if it meant she could kiss Jimin till she croaked.

They could’ve remained locked together for an indefinite amount of time if not for Luna tugging on Jimin’s pant leg with her teeth, demanding her fair share of his attention. He doesn’t hesitate to scoop the energetic fur ball into his arms, scratching behind one of her ears as Luna practically vibrates in his arms.

“I think this is the part where I tell you I’m in love with you and want to be your boyfriend.” He lifts Luna next to his face and Amira knows she’s in trouble. “Don’t you want to wake up to us every morning? At least for the next two weeks?”

“Kiss me again and you’ve got a deal, boyfriend.”

#bts writers guild #park jimin #jimin fluff #jimin fanfiction #jimin scenario #bts #bts fluff #bts fanfiction #bts scenario #jimin x oc #jimin x poc oc #writing fluff is hard as hell #had to stop myself from making somebody whip out a tiddy #if this is trash mickey did it

75 notes · View notes

blackhakumen · 4 years

Text

Mini Fanfic #474: The Kongs and Friends Plays Some Donkey Kong Country (SSBU)

Diddy/DK: (Excitedly Made Their Way into the Mansion's Living) Guys! Guys! You would not believe what we got! Oh my god!

Kazooie: (Texting While Laying the Back of her Head On Banjo's Shoulder, Rolling her Eyes) Please don't tell me it's a year supply of bananas again.....

DK: ('Scoffs') No, Kazooie. We didn't get another box of bananas. (Yet.....)

Banjo: What is it, you guys?

Diddy: Check it out! (Excitedly Shows Banjo and Kazooie Three SNES Gaming Cartridges) Video Games of our past adventures!! Donkey Kong Country!

Banjo: (Already in Awe at the Sight of the Cartridges) Woah........

Kazooie: The whole trilogy, huh? (Smirk a Little) Neat. I take it you guys got from a nearby game store?

DK: (Nodded Excitedly) It was laying around there with our faces on it. Of course we had to buy these bad boys and play them here!

Diddy: I'm already seeing it now..... Zapping across jungle to jungle, pulverizing K. Rool and Kremlings in their own game, and all while obtaining the best reward ever known to men.....

DK: (Pumps Two of his Fist into the Air) Our Bananas Hoard!!!

Kazooie: (Rolls Her Eyes Once More) Ah yes. How can we ever forget your obsession of keeping a cave full of uneaten bananas safe?

DK: ('Scoffs') Honestly.... I'm not that obsessed over it. I'll have you know that our banana hoards are in good hands.............(Whispers into Diddy's Ear) Diddy, remind me to call Cranky later.....

Diddy: We'll worry about all of that later, big guy. Let's just set back and play our games for now, yeah?

DK: (Sighs in Defeat before Slowly Smiling) Yeah.... You're right, little buddy. I mean, these are our games we're playing here! It just might be the best thing ever known to-

Couple of Levels Later.......

DK: (Eyes Widened) .......Well.......(Let his Controller Drop) That was something....

Diddy: Geez....I know we expected a challenge, but I had no idea this would be this hard.........

Kazooie: (Shrugged) Maybe it's because of difficulty spike curve....

Diddy: Maybe.....

Banjo: (Turns to DK) Were your adventures back in the day was always this hard and intense or......

DK: Nah. I don't think so, Banjo my mam. I mean, sure, we may have gotten into some neat death situations here and there, but we always made it through..... Somehow. B-But you know, maybe I'm just getting a bit rusty here. (Picks Back up.his Controller) I'm sure in a couple of Levels, I'll be just-

More Levels Later........

DK: (Throws the Controller Down in Frustration) Damnit!! So close!

Diddy: Kazooie, I think you were right about this game having difficulty spike curves.......

Game Over Shows up on Screen

Diddy: (Pouts at the Game Over Screen) Ah man....We already got Game Over and everything....

DK: I know, right? I don't remember any of us getting beaten up like that!

Banjo: (Frowns Sadly at the Screen) Aww..... You guys look so sad and hurt in the screen.....

Diddy: (Hugs Banjo Arm on his Side) Don't worry, buddy. We're here. We're okay.

Kazooie: (Gently and Affectionately Ruffles the top of Banjo's Hair on her Side) Yeah, 'hon. Try not to let it get to you, okay?

Banjo: ('Sniff') Okay.

DK: ('Sigh') You know what? Forget this. (Takes the First DK Out of the SNES) I don't need to beat this game to prove I beat K. Rool where he stand. (Smiles Proudly while Chuckling) I Banana Slamma'd that crazy croc out of that ship so hard that he might've saw stars!

Diddy: (Gives DK an Unimpressed Look) Not funny, big guy.

Kazooie: (Gives DK an Unimpressed Look as Well) Didn't even make us chuckle.

DK: ('Ugh') Whatever. Can we just play the next game now?

Diddy: Alright....(Picks up the Next Game From the Coffee Table and Takes a Quick Look at it) Huh. Looks like my game's up next.

Kazooie: Your game?

Diddy: (Smiles Brightly) Yep. My Quest! (Chuckles Lightly) I'm guessing it was when Dixie and I saved DK from K. Rool and his actual band of pirates.

Banjo: Who's Dixie?

Diddy: My cute girlfriend.

Banjo/Kazooie: (Eyes Widened Genuinely Surprised) Girlfriend?

Kazooie: (Gives Diddy a Playful Smirk) Well, I be damned, Diddy. We didn't know you got yourself a Lady-Friend?~

Diddy: (Chuckles Lightly while Blushing a Little) Yeah..... We've been dating for a long while now, you know? You guys should meet her. She's so cool.

Banjo: (Smiles Brightly) I wouldn't mind that in the sightest, my friend.

Kazooie: Double Date it is then. But before we do anything else....(Turns to Donkey Kong) I wanna know how this gorilla right here got himself kidnapped.

DK: Hey! It's not like I wanted to get myself captured or anything. It happened out of nowhere!.....Or at least I think that what happened....

Diddy: I'm sure we can worry about all of that later, you guys. Right now, I wanna see how this baby plays out. (Put the Game into the System) And who knows? Maybe this one might be a little more easier than the first one-

Few Levels Later.....

Diddy: Never mind. (Let his Controller Drop on the Floor) It's not even close of being easy.

DK: (Picks the Controller Up) Relax, little buddy. This guy got this-

Three Levels Later-

DK: This game is even harder than the first one! (Throws the Controller Down in Frustration) How is that even possible?!!

Kazooie: They really wanted to give you an actual challenge, huh?

Diddy: ('Sigh') Let's just get to the final game of the trilogy already.....(Picks up the Final Cartridge from the Table and Takes a Look at it) Looks like Dixie's the main character in this one. It's called "Dixie Kong's Double Trouble"

Banjo: (Noticed another Kong right beside Dixie on the Cartridge) Who's the fella over there?

Diddy: Oh that's Kiddy Kong. Dixie's younger cousin I think?

DK: Ah man. Diddy, I remember now. This was when those saved us from K. Rool that one time.

Kazooie: (Slowly but Surely Turn to Donkey in a Somewhat Irritated Look) How the hell did you got yourself kidnapped by a narcissist of a king TWICE in a row?

DK: I-

Kazooie: I mean, I can understand why he kidnapped Diddy since he's a bit if a pipsqueak.....

Diddy: Hey!

Kazooie: But you?!....... You're supposed to be the Biggest, Fastest, and Strongest member of the DK crew! Or at that's what your stupid rap song says about you!!

DK: (Glares at Kazooie) Hey! I am all those things! And the DK Rap is the best rap song ever known to man! I worked hard writing the lyrics and everything!

Banjo: Guys, come on. Knock it off. (Turns to Kazooie) Kazooie don't be hard on him for this.

DK: Tell her, Banjo!

Banjo: There's absolutely nothing wrong with being a Damsel in Distress.

DK: Yeah!- Wait. WHAT?! Banjo, I ain't a Damsel in Distress! I'm practically the kings of the jungles!!

Kazooie: (Rolled her Eyes) Highly doubt that the "King of the Jungles" would ever get himself kidnapped by a crocodile twice. Let alone someone who's supposedly punch a moon out of orbit once. ('Scoffs') Probably made that one up too.

DK: REALLY!!!

And with that, DK and Kazooie began to argue with one another, with Banjo trying to calm them down in between.

Diddy: ('Sigh') Welp. This is already a disaster.

'Cellphone Rang'

Diddy: (Picks up his Phone from the Table and Takes the Call) Yello?

???: (From the Other Line) Hello? Diddy?

Diddy: (Smiles Brightly once He Immediately Recognize that Voice) Dixie! Is that really you?!

Dixie: (Giggles Softly) In the flesh~ How ya doing, 'hon?

Diddy: Pretty good, not gonna lie. How about you and the jungle?

Dixie: We're doing good at our end. Not a lot of Kremlings set foot here lately. So that's a good thing.

Diddy: You kidding? That's great news! This place can gain a lot more bananas than it did before.

Dixie: (Giggles Once More) Yeah. That would be pretty great. Speaking of which, how's DK doing lately?

Diddy: (Takes One Look at Donkey Kong, Still Arguing with Kazooie, Before Looking Away) It's doing fine. Oh! Dixie, I meant to tell you. There's these two friends I really want you to meet someday.

Dixie: Really now?

Diddy: Yep! Their names are Banjo and Kazooie. I told how cool you are and everything.

Dixie: Aww~ Diddy, that's sweet~ Buuuuut if you ask me, I think you're pretty cool too, ya know?~

Diddy: (Giggles While Blushing) You're too kind sometimes, Dix~

Dixie: Thanks~ Hey. Diddy?.....

Diddy: Hm?

Dixie: I miss you so much.

Diddy: I miss you too, Dixie. A lot more than I thought I would actually. But don't you worry. I'll come by and give you a visit first thing tomorrow!

Dixie: Really? That's awesome, but.... how are you going to do that?

Diddy: We have these Dimensional Rings where we could visit any place we want. I can ask the princess to let me borrow it for the day so I can see you.

Dixie: Oh my gosh! This is even more better than I thought!~ I can't wait to see you again, Diddy-Kins!~

Diddy: (Smiles Softly) Me too, Dix. Me too.

@keyenuta

@cyber-wildcat

@26shann

@chompycroc

@ink-correctsmashbrosbloo

@albion-93

@luigifan00001

#super smash ultimate #donkey kong #diddy kong #banjo #kazooie #dixie kong #humor #friendship #the gang plays the trilogy of donkey kong county #diddy x dixie #banjo x kazooie #dk wrote his own rap song

8 notes · View notes

unikornu · 4 years

Note

11, 18, 34, 37, 55, 77 for Lucy?

Thankz! I will include Harrison too in this one too from the other ask:

11. If they could make a mark on history, what would they like it to be?

I suck at history, like completely, i swear i was better at math, so i can’t think of any actual real events right now but thinking about pre-war life, becoming the woman judge in national court, revealing the truth about their actions and kicking all the corrupted folks out, like totally wiping the current system and ending the conflict between government police/law and the criminal underground, no longer trying to hunt ex-criminals just to push more money into their pockets. That would be like a small success in history of the town. Sounds like a happy ending if she wouldn’t choose the other path.

18. What languages can they speak? Where did they learn these languages?

Aside from English, she picked up some Polish and Russian words because Rosey parent’s were initially immigrants from Central Europe, Poland, looking back then for better economic situation and living conditions. They still learned her some basics from both of these languages, before they died when she was a teenager. Right after that Harrison stumbled upon her and when offering her a job also kept providing her with language books as it was useful to be able to communicate with immigrants in club as well. Lucy heard her sneaking some of other words from these languages or sentences, mostly when swearing or complaining about clients but eventually got curious about it. Lucy will mostly just swear in some broken Polish/Russian words mixed with English. A street language mess.

34. How easily do they trust others with their secrets? With their lives?

Not at all. Unless she has like no choice or is already in the middle of more serious friendship or partnership. Most of her secrets are rather embarrassing to her, showing weakness or just totally crazy alien weird like with her boss. It also depends on the person she has that relationship with. If they are rather kind, calm and sensitive she might be easier to open up but she will need a slight pull by her braids to do so. With her life that might be a bigger no. She would rather not put her life anymore on any kind of line after finding her little raider paradise.

37. How easy is it for them to say “I love you”? Do they say it without meaning it?

Not easy at all, its like Porter Gage level unless she if freaking drunk and in a really good mood. Because of her pre-war relationship it became harder to her. She loved Ian, she was telling him that but hiding like a garbage bag of dirty secrets behind the back at all times so meaning of these words could be questionable and because she felt like shit about it after the bombs she prefers to bite her tongue before saying these words even if she means it. Unless someone says it first and she feels the same she will respond. And if Lucy says she loves someone she really freaking means it, she will no longer lie about it and looking how she isn’t the good angel of the wasteland you can be sure she will protect that person like a wicked high drugged killer beast.

55. What is their alcohol tolerance like? What kind of drunk are they? How bad are their hangovers?

Fairly high due to Sapphire Club experience. You need to be able to stand on your legs and still communicate with others if you worked in a place like that. You ain’t a good agent to anyone if you stumble like a drunk whore in dem high heels. But at some point if she knows she can drink and no longer think about a job at Fizztop, knowing she can let herself go a little oh boy, you gonna get a mumbling gal, knocking glass from the bar top dancing like a typical drunk person with just a little more kick, many more kicks. She would try to jump on tall people to ride on their shoulders and pull smaller folks like her by their hands and spin them around. She isn’t that much more talkative after the booze but a bit too active with all that swinging and jumping around at some point. And she will just superglue herself to the chest of her partner. Poor Gage. Because she forgets to drink water in between or eat decently she will get a bad hangovers and with all that spinning oh man, its a miracle she doesn’t vomit.

77. What is their most prized possession?

Gage...lol joking. I can’t think of one item so i would say anything that is shiny and resembling a pre-war jewelry good enough, hair brushes, hair clips, etc. so everything that hangs and sits on her dressing table. Extra points would go to a golden hair clip, long and spiky with engraved ornaments and delicate small roses attached to it as it would be the one her mother used to wear every time her personality would be back to a loving and caring mother and she would always have her hair pulled up by this kind of clip. She would probably sharpen it and use as a surprise extra weapon tho. Yum, dem fancy girly gadgets.

Now for Harrison:

25. What is their biggest flaw?

Being overly protective and thinking it will re-pay him for the past of sort. Lucy and Gage have been taking care of Nuka World for a long time and she was left alone after the bombs to herself so she no longer needs THAT much care as to accompany her even to the market trip. He knows its annoying but he just can’t help it. Also he has hard time to trust people even if Lucy trust them cus of above.

26. Are they aware of their flaws?

Yup. But he is stubborn as donkey.

27. What is their biggest strength?

Staying focused and calm no matter how messy and brutal the situation is, hell he might even still throw a piece of advice or even a joke while at it. From a car accident he ended up in a lab tube having his soul literally detached and contained and still aware and fully conscious so its hard to...surprise him, let’s say, man became literally immortal. And he is also aware of his powers so feels pretty powerful as a fighting unit of sort.

28. Are they aware of their strengths?

Yes, he is. He knows what he is, what he can do and learns more and more day by day to bend the powers of his soul to his will, he can’t just command himself to use it to extremes as it would only respond when he gets really emotional or certain desire is strong inside him. Although he can easily lift small objects just like that and hit someone’s head with it. *tin can in Porter’s head* He doesn’t pushes away what he became, he is the type of man who deals with the facts here and now and as to his personality, well...its a grumpy old man, ofc he is aware of everything about him, even if its annoying others.

71. How are they with children? Do they have any? Do they want any?

He is so much better at it than Lucy. He was a father of a disabled boy before the war so has quite an experience. He didn’t give his best tho...looking that his son was taken by the car explosion due to his lack of care with repairs. And he was a bit let down that his wife didn’t deliver the fully healthy child, it challenged him mentally of sort. On a one side he couldn’t blame anyone for it, he just wished he could play with his son like any other father, doing sport and running around and so on. Instead he was busy riding with him to hospitals, pushing the small wheelchair and just tryin to communicate at the base level with him. Its a hard topic. Sometimes parents feel really taken down seeing their child might never be fully healthy or capable of living by themselves in future and they tend to lose it, get tired or even angry but in the end he still loved his son. As for current event Lucy is the closest “child” to him and turns his focus on that for now. He doesn’t pushes the idea of having a new relationship after the bombs but he is scared to start any due to what he is and is scared to fail at protecting these who he cares about again. So he will rather say no another round of family life, not wanting to drag anyone into his bullshit unless there would be a woman brave enough, not scared of him and fully aware, accepting him for who he is.

#rockshortage #thank you #ask meme #hah dem asks are hard but i still like it #lucy feit #harrison #fallout 4 #fo4 #im not very detailed on some of them cus i mostly come with things on a go #and im a simpleton #and ye history in general is my weakest subject #like even my teacher gave me most simple questions on last tests cus he knew how bad im and he just felt sorry #and didnt want me to repeat classes just cus of it #bless him #also talking about supernatural stuff feels so..relaxing for brain due to lack of logic lol

2 notes · View notes

incorrectsmashbrosquotes · 5 years

Text

Corrupted Memories Pt.6

Ganondorf: Kirby villains! I've come to bargain.

Dark Matter approached the King of Darkness with a deadpan expression upon his face.

Dark Matter: Speak your name peasant.

The rest of the League all gasp anticipating what would happen to Dark Matter after such a snide comment.

Ganondorf: ... ... ...(Kneels) I have presented my self before each of you to make an offering.

NME: An offering? You say then why didn't you say so?

Dark Matter: Calm yourself Nightmare there isn't possibly a single thing this fool can offer to us.

Nightmare: Ahem. I'm afraid you got the wrong guy. I'm Nightmare this caped dude...Yeah that ain't me.

NME: ...Excuse me?

Nightmare: You heard me your just a weak little copy cat.

Ganondorf, upon hearing Nightmare's use of the word weak stepped aside.

Nightmare: Hey boss why are you movi-

Nightmare was suddenly subdued in a nightmare orb where he ironically would suffer an endless nightmare.

Ridley: Oh shit!

NME, casually: So about this offering what have you come to present us with?

Ganondorf: I bring you the one thing that has brought you endless suffering! I gift you Kirby of the Stars!

Kirby: (Sad poyo)

Dark Matter: (Gasp) ... ...Magnificent! For a such a feat to be applicable must require some of the most tactful thinking in the universe.

Ridley: All we did was use gravity to our advantage.

Dark Matter: Gravity?

NME: I believe that's the stuff that pulls normies down.

Dark Matter: OH! Of course gravity! HAHA! We don't believe in gravity. It's non existent to us.

Ridley: ... ...Well shit.

Dark Matter: Well then sir Ganon it would mean alot for our lord if your greatness were to meet with him.

Ganondorf: A meeting with the most powerful being in reality? Hah. How could I decline?

They leave to go see Dark Matter's leader. Meanwhile Nightmare was released from NME's orb.

Nightmare: You don't wanna see the pure horror I've just had to put up with! If you ever come near that man again! I implore you to run! Not like it will save you though.

________

-Back On Popstar-

Rosalina: Alright bitches! Are you ready to go!?

Joker, DK & Sheik: Yep!

Chara: ...No...

Rosalina: ... ... ...Ren do we have to bring your sister?

Joker's I have been given strict orders to make sure she stays safe.

Rosalina: As if he has anything to worry about.

Chara: WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU EVEN DRAGGING ME!?

Rosalina: We my friend are going to The Great Cave Offensive!

Chara: ... ... ...So erm...Does it fight back against you...Or...Or what?

Rosalina: Well it can be taken both literally and metaphorically.

Chara: ...Please say sike...

Rosalina: You'll understand when we get there. Let's head out out right away! (Dashes ahead) FOR DEDEDE!!!

Chara: Are we actually going?

Donkey Kong cocks his coconut gun and follows her lead.

Joker: That means yes.

Chara: Fuck my life!

Joker, shoves soap in her mouth: Mom told you about swearing didn't she!?

Chara: I SHAN'T FOLLOW YOUR FAMILY RULES!!! HISSSSSSS!!!

________

After journeying through space Terry & Sans finally made it to Popstar unharmed.

Terry: Dude...This place is beautiful!

Sans: Hell yeah! It's got me 'Starstruck'

-Ba-Dum Tsh!-

Terry: ... ... ...I want you to be here forever man.

King Dedede, jumps up behind them: WELCOME TO MY KINGDOM OF DREAMLA-

Terry punches Dedede in the face out of pure reaction.

Terry: O_O I just punched a penguin... ...Sweet.

King Dedede: Now...I'm gonna act like that never happened. You're the newcomers right?

Terry: Yep.

King Dedede: Then you're free to stay at my castle yada yada yada! Welcome.

Terry: YOU CAN TALK AND YOUR A KING!?

King Dedede: (Looks at Sans who was squirting ketchup around his mouth)

Sans: Sup.

King Dedede: Can you even taste that?

Sans: What a stupid question....

King Dedede: .... ....

Sans: ... ...Cya. (Teleports away)

Terry: Cya penguin dude! Sorry for punching ya!

King Dedede: ... ... ...I swear they get more terrifying every day.

________

Ganondorf, kneels again: Lord Zero. I have come to your presence today to offer to you. Kirby of the Stars. My only request is that you grant me indescribable power!

Zero: Hmm...Tell me Ganon do you enjoy being evil?

Ganondorf: Of course. I just wish to rule Hyrule with an iron fist! But the elf boy continues to block me from this future. And now there are 3 of them!

Zero: I see...Lucky for you...Neither me nor you will have to deal with them again...Do you recall what happened to Dedede?

Ganondorf: Why of course my lord!

Zero: The mask...It was the perfect Trojan horse of deception...Centuries back before Kirby came Dedede was the hero...I used the mask to 'erase' Dedede from existence...

Ganondorf: You removed his...His very being. You stripped it all away from him!

Zero: Hmm...But the inspiration was time my friend...

Ganondorf: Time?

Zero: Time...Time & memories...You see...As time moves on...People forget who they once were...They forget who they've once encountered...Memories get corrupted...No one knows as to why. A simple miscalculation of one's mind causing every one of your flowing memories to drift off onward to nowhere...I simply enhanced this little quirk of ones mind & had the mask be what triggered Dedede's side affect...So...Help is what you seek from me?...With the offering of Kirby...I will no longer be disturbed...So before I help you you help me... ...You will retrieve the mask for me...I will repeat what I did in the past!...Once I corrupt Kirby... ...He will belong to me...

Ganondorf: Yes lord Zero.

Zero: Now go...And don't come back til you find it.

Ganondorf, in his head: That used to be my line. :(

75 notes · View notes

lovelytonys · 5 years

Text

100 great things about megamind

basically i just watched megamind and wrote down everything that made me go “hey that’s good”

1. The opening monologue slaps I literally do not care about your “cliches” it’s GOOD

2. “8 days old and still living with my parents...pathetic right?”

3. The idea that Megamind is inherently good since his origin story should have been his dad saying he’s destined for “greatness” but the greatness got cut off uwu

4. Literally just the fact that Megamind was about to go to the Rich Nice House and his destiny changed at the last second,,,everything about this movie makes it a cinematic masterpiece

5. “A baby! How thoughtful!” “yes yes I saw it and thought of you”

6. “While they were learning the itsy bitsy spider I was learning how to dehydrate objects and rehydrate them at will”

7. When you hear the Bad to the Bone guitar riff kick in,,,,,,heck yeah babey!!

8. J.K Simmons is here! yeah!

9. Will Ferrell’s voice acting is literally SO darn good like even just from the beginning,,, the funny affectation of whatever kind of accent that is,,,,,the expressiveness of literally everything he says,,,,,I’m not actively a fan of Will Ferrell or anything but he just did a good job ok

10. “His heart is an ocean inside a bigger ocean”

11. Idk why but I just love the phrase “you fantastic fish you”

12. Metro Man is such a fun character. Like. A hero who shouldn’t be a hero, but he just….is one? Someone who’s idol-worshipped and, despite his grandeur, doesn’t exactly deserve it?

13. MEGAMIND’S CHARACTER DESIGN IS LITERALLY SO GOOD like the vivid colors of his skin and eyes? His COSTUME? His hilarious proportions, between the giant head and the skinny & scrawny everything else? Superb, you funky little alien

14. All dialogue between Megamind and Minion is god tier by default

15. The twist on “damsel in distress” where yeah the girl gets kidnapped but she is so not distressed and has the intellectual power in the situation as she roasts Megamind at every turn and he can’t combat anything she says

16. “Oh potato tomato potato tomato”

17. “I’m shaking in my BABY SEAL LEATHER BOOTS”

18. THE ENTIRE EXCHANGE BETWEEN MEGAMIND AND METRO MAN ABOUT JUSTICE AND REVENGE AND THE MICROWAVE OF EVIL AND WARRANTIES

19. “Can someone stamp my frequent kidnapping card” “You of all people know that we discontinued that”

20. The way this movie manages to SO effectively establish character while diving right into the action and keeping with a fun, fast pace? The world & characters are set up incredibly well AND the start of the journey/ “break into the new world” hits at a brisk 20 minutes? Lovely work, Dreamworks

21. When Highway to Hell kicks in with the lasers and Megamind dancing at the police,,,,,this is nothing short of priceless

22. “Imagine the most horrible terrifying evil thing you could possibly think of and multiply it…..BY SIX”

23. When you’re a supervillain who takes over the city and you say “let’s just have fun with this” to the citizens

24. *whispering behind the door* “now slam the door really hard!” *snickering like a 12 year old girl* “move they can still see you”

25. “Did you think this day would come?” “No, no not in a million years, not ever...I mean yes”

26. “That’s called a window, sir. All the kids are looking through them”

27. Crazy Train is SUCH a nice touch, the fade into Alone Again Naturally is great. The use of music in this movie is absolutely A+, MEGAMIND DID IT FIRST AND GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY AIN’T SPECIAL (jk gotg you’re so special ily)

28. The images of Megamind’s destruction & deterioration of the city are so creative and funny

29. *to a desk toy bird* “What’s your vacuum like?”

30. “GOING OFF THE RAILS ON A CRAZY TRAIN SIR”

31. Haven’t yet mentioned how lovely the animation of Megamind’s face is! Every single frame, he’s so expressive

32. Mispronunciation of words like “school”, “Metro City”, and “melancholy”

33. This voice cast in general is so good like it’s not just big names phoning it in for an animated movie, they’re fully into it

34. Real Bernard doesn’t get much screen time but he’s hilarious

35. “Typhoon Cheese”, whatever that was gonna be

36. The juxtaposition in body language & facial expression between Real Bernard and Megamind Bernard,,,,,actually just the way Megamind’s physicality is transferred to the other characters he disguises himself as. Great stuff

37. Megamind’s off-the-walls high energy is so fun and electric

38. “This is a bad idea” “yes, a good idea for the greater good of bad” “maybe it seems good from your bad perception but from a good perception it’s just plain bad” “oh you don’t know what’s good for bad”

39. Ollo? Oh, hello

40. “I’m just yelling at my…..mother’s urn”

41. Megamind and Minion just saying “code” before things that aren’t in code. This movie is so good with its running gags, they don’t feel like “oh haha they used that joke again!” they feel like inside jokes between the characters I love it

42. Megamind fighting himself as Bernard while complimenting himself, COMEDY GOLD

43. The various occurrences of random life-altering things happening on a whim to the wrong people, like Hal getting the superpowers and earlier Metro Man being molded into a hero and Megamind landing in prison as a baby

44. The forget me stick

45. Space Dad and Space Stepmom

46. Every character Megamind inhabits always retains Megamind’s eyes

47. MR BLUE SKY PLAYING OVER HAL’S DISASTROUS TRAINING SEQUENCE AND THE FALLING IN LOVE SEQUENCE THAT INCLUDES DONKEY KONG AND MEGAMIND WEIRDLY TEXTING ON A FLIP PHONE (gotgv2 who? Don’t know her)

48. Roxanne’s positive influence making Megamind genuinely want to make the city better uwu

49. ROXANNE AND METRO MAN WERE NEVER A COUPLE! Lovely trope subversion

50. Tropes in this movie in general are so fun. This isn’t some uninspired genre parody. They don’t just subvert tropes in the exact way that you’d expect. I feel like the way that this movie plays with the superhero genre often feels unique and creative

51. Bernard’s character design kind of slaps tbh. The turtleneck, the hair, the glasses, all very nice

52. When Hal calls Roxanne “a really good looking one I’ve got my eye on” like she’s meat or something as opposed to Megamind valuing her personality…..makes ya think u know

53. T h e b l a c k m a m b a a a a a

54. “Maybe I don’t want to be the bad guy anymore!” and Megamind & Minion’s subsequent falling out that served as a precursor to the disastrous date with Roxanne- it happens pretty much exactly halfway through the movie. Some people look down upon following structure to a T, but sometimes it’s satisfying when a movie perfectly follows structure and this movie’s structure is flawless

55. “Good luck on your date” “I will” “That doesn’t even make any sense” “I know”

56. Right after fighting w Minion when Megamind looks in a cracked mirror and frowns at his reflection but then changes into someone else, into Bernard, and then smiles? THE CINNAMON TOGROPHY, THE STORYTELLING

57. When Hal is just an incel whose feeling of entitlement is framed as disgusting and he’s not supposed to be sympathetic and Roxanne’s rejection of him is not framed as evil but rather completely justified? VERY epic of them, this movie would have SMASHED the pop culture scene if it came out today

58. The GRAVITY of the part when Roxanne accidentally reveals Megamind in the restaurant is so powerful that I can STILL barely watch it even though I’ve seen it so many times

59. The part that immediately follows where Roxanne shuts down Megamind is SO well done. Roxanne is giving out some harsh words to our dear protagonist, but she is not framed as the bad guy. The great thing about this scene is that they let Roxanne call out Megamind on how he’s been a jerk and she gets to be RIGHT. How very cash money of them! The emotion here isn’t anger at Roxanne because she’s ~being mean~ to Megamind. It’s a sting over the fact that she’s right, and the heartbreak over the dramatic irony of us knowing that Megamind is becoming a better person and Roxanne having no idea. Now Megamind is left with a decision that will show who he truly is on the inside: he could either retreat back into safe, evil ways for the rest of time because it’s easier to be bad because then no one expects anything from him and rejection is easier to handle, or he could ultimately choose to grow from this and recognize how he was wrong and how he has to change. The execution of this midpoint is exemplary.

60. “Do you really think I’d ever be with you?” “....no” the delivery of those lines is so good

61. “You were right! I was….less right!”

62. The Black Mamba is a god tier costume and the fact that it has its own theme song in the score makes it at least 6x better

63. WHEN BACK IN BLACK KICKS IN YEAAAHHHH (Iron Man who? Don’t know her) (Iron Man was already out at this point but how fun is it that this movie used TWO iconic mcu songs)

64. Megamind in the giant suit playing with cars

65. Hal SUCKS I love how much the movie wants you to hate him

66. The difference between Megamind and Hal/Titan/Tighten is so interesting to watch. How Megamind is the self-proclaimed “bad guy” but he’s not even out to do serious damage & it’s just a game to him, while Hal is out for blood but was created to be a hero

67. “Now it’s time for witty banter” “AAAAAAAAA” “I’m not really sure where to go with that”

68. “I’M CALLING A TIME OUT”

69. Twisting the Kryptonite trope by having Metro Man make up the copper weakness

70. “Does he have a hideout? A cave? A solitary fortress?” lol I understood that reference

71. “OW! MY GIANT BLUE HEAD!”

72. Metro Man’s confession scene is so good. Really, how often do you get a hero who feels that he was forced into being a hero? That’s usually a villain trope. Does the hero ever realize he doesn’t want to be a hero….and actually quit FOR GOOD? Again, the trope subversion is awesome

73. “I have eyes that can see right through leaaaaaaaad” that’s my favorite song

74. “You left the city to HIM! No offense” “no I’m with you”

75. “There’s a yin for every yang. If there’s bad, good will rise up against it.”

76. “I say we just go all GANGSTA on him” ms tina fey i would die for you

77. Megamind turns himself in to the police, the fact that he willingly submits himself to the punishment of being a villain at this point is a lovely and stirring way of showing the sense of justice he has deep down and showing his character development

78. When Roxanne gives Megamind a desperate & compassionate pep talk over live tv no matter what it means for her reputation :*))

79. When Megamind has 88 life sentences

80. “I. Am. Sorry!” *dramatically slides down door*

81. Megamind’s heartfelt and regretful admission of all his mistakes that brings his character arc to a head? Lovely

82. “Good luck” “WE’RE GONNA D I E! Hahahaha!”

83. “There is no Easter bunny, there is no tooth fairy, and there is no queen of England.”

84. MEGAMIND’S EPIC ENTRANCE BY COMING OUT OF HIS OWN MOUTH

85. “Oh you’re a villain alright. Just not a super one.” “Oh yeah? What’s the difference?”

86. P R E S E N T A T I O N

87. METRO MAN THUNDER CALVES

88. Again with the green eyes continuity! Love that!

89. “Going somewhere? Besides jail?” *flies in a fancy pose*

90. When Megamind is ready to let everyone think Metro Man is back but Roxanne wants to see the real hero :*))

91. “This is the last time you make a fool out of me!” “I made you a hero, you did the fool thing all by yourself” SICK BURN

92. “There’s a benefit to losing. You get to learn from your mistakes”

93. WHEN THE DEHYDRATION GUN COMES IN CLUTCH

94. Minion being a drama queen lol comedy peaked in 2010

95. Minion’s Little Face

96. “GET BACK YOU SAVAGES” “Sorry he’s just not used to positive feedback!”

97. “Destiny is not the path given to us but the path we choose for ourselves”

98. When Megamind gets to parallel Metro Man’s entrance from the beginning of the movie and everyone cheers for him :*)) and he adds his own fun little twist by making a villain joke

99. “Megamind, defender of Metro City” “you know? I like the sound of that!”

100. Name a better villain to hero story. YOU CANNOT. Cinematic excellence. I am never disappointed.

#I DO NOT DESERVE RIGHTS #lovelytonys personal thought

44 notes · View notes

praphit · 5 years

Text

Jessica Biel: Whiteface & the Beast! This is my story.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the ever-lovely! - Jessica Biel.

I had a dream about her, but I'll get back to that in a sec.

If you don’t know, I normally ramble about movies. There are a lot of movies that I could have talked about this week.

"Dolemite Is My Name" -

Eddie getting back into the swing of things! I'm actually a lil concerned about this. "Coming to America 2"? The first one is a classic; what are we doing?! Does it need a sequel? Don't mess with perfection! I've heard that there will be another "Beverly Hills Cop" sequel as well! What's next? - another "Norbit"? Another "Nutty Prof"? The chronicles of Donkey?

I could have talked about "Jojo Rabbit", a comedy involving Hitler.

That is dangerous territory, my friends. BUT, with Scarjo in the mix, any offense is kinda forgiven. I mean just look at her.

If I were a cop, and I caught her red handed in murder, I'd probably let her go, and just say the victim fell in the kitchen.

It's weird how her awesomeness works when she's in offensive films, unless she is the lead.

Somehow her powers failed her in those incidences.

She hasn't tried to do black face yet though, so there's that! On that note, the only white actor allowed to do black face in my opinion is Robert Downey Jr

(Sgt Lincoln Osiris - Look up for context, kids). To this day, I'm all for giving Osiris his own franchise. Maybe have Scarjo play his black girlfriend (kinda like Foxy Cleopatra from “Austin Powers”).

This would be horribly offensive! But, I'd still love to see it, as everyone's heads explode over the fact.

I could have talked about that boring ass war movie... whatever it's called. I think Dr. Strange is in it

Or the horror movie "Countdown" I use the word "horror" loosely. It looks like fun hot garbage. Kind of a cool concept though - an entity setting a timer to beat your ass and kill you.

But, there's something else, or maybe I should say someONE else on my mind, that I need to warn y'all about. This is more important than some movie.

And it's of course Jessica Biel.

No, not THAT Jessica Biel (the ever-lovely)

Like I said, I had a dream about her, and in THAT dream she was the ever-BITCHY.

Always ordering me around:

Take out the trash, wash the dishes, walk the dog, etc. BUT, nothing I did was ever any good for her! Didn't like the way I placed the bags outside. Didn't like how I put the dishes away. I walked the dog for too long, or sometimes not for long enough.

Paint our room this color or that color, then I would paint it that color, and she'd take one look at it and want it redone. She'd always eat the food that I brought home for ME (with MY name on it!) Then be like "I didn't know."

What do you mean you didn't know?! You ain't buy it! And your name sure as hell ain't praphit!

*heavy sigh* I'm traumatized, people! In the dream, it was like we were married for decades - DECADES OF THIS! And any time I'd try to stand up to her, she'd start crying. In real life I'd never put up with this! WHAT THE HELL?! I'm still mad!

Some people would be like "Well, at least you got a dream where you're living with her, so... at least some sexy time salvages it all." NO! There was no sexy dream time had! And even if there was, I don't think it would have been worth it!

It went down in the dream like this:

Praphit: *giving sexy eyes* :)

Biel: "I'm not in the mood"

Praphit: "Again huh?? Ok... well, imma... you know... and then go to bed.

Biel: "No."

Praphit: "What do you mean NO?"

Biel: "It's cheating in the eyes of our Lord."

Praphit: "Our Lo... since when are YOU religious?"

Biel: "Don't you Christian shame me!"

Praphit: "I'm NOT, I just... *heavier sigh* anyway, FINE, I'm going to bed."

Biel: "Whatever. Leave the light on; I'm about to read."

SEE, PEOPLE!

THE EVER-BITCHY

There's a shower scene. I go into the shower. I know what some of y'all are thinking FINALLY! YES!

Nah.

She's in there crying... over something I did. I'm just in there consoling her, while getting yelled at. I didn't even get a look at what she had going on in there. No, you know... good shots in that scene. Whoever was directing my dream is fired.

Then, things got weird.

We go into my dream mom and sister's room. She kicks them out (OF THEIR OWN ROOM). I'm trying to explain myself. And apparently, what I did to her... (now, people, try to follow... cuz I certainly can't) I had been dressing up like Justin Timberlake, in white face... like Casper the ghost white face, with a curly wig on like JT from the NSYNC days. I was out performing, and everyone was buying it. AND (somehow weirder!), sometimes, I'd put makeup over top of the JT makeup in order to look like Justin Bieber, so as to perform as him as well. So... extra white face. AND EVERYONE BOUGHT IT! I'm unsure, but at some point, she had sex with either me (dressed up), or JT and thought it was me, or Bieber and thought it was me... Idk, again, I can't follow this nonsense. But, we argued forever, and somewhere in there, I woke up.

I went to work that morning, MAD! Think of a time where you argued with someone the night before, went right to bed, and when you woke up, you're still kinda in that mood; kinda like you're still arguing with them. You know?? I was doing THAT, MAD... at Jessica Biel! It doesn't even make any sense!

And as far as the JT/JBieb thing... if she's fooled during sexy time... isn't that a lil bit her fault as well? I mean... ... it makes me think of Rachel Dolezal; remember her?

(If you don’t remember her, google her name... it’ll change your life)

(I'm waiting for the movie of her story to come out btw. Maybe Scarjo could play her)

Now, getting fooled at work by her or in the community is one thing, but sexy time? People, I'm not going to get into details, but... you know what I'm talking about. If you're fooled... what the hell is wrong with YOU?!

Anyway, Idk what to make of any of this.

I've considered that this dream is a true glimpse at the real Jessica, and that perhaps one day, Justin Timberlake will share with us his story. I've considered that it's prophetic, and that Jessica might leave Justin and pursue a rebound with a Baltimore black man like myself. Maybe God is warning me.

I've considered that Jessica Biel might be a witch - and did this to me on purpose, so she doesn't have to vent at Justin. I wouldn't hate on her if she's a witch; that's between her and our Lord.

Or maybe it's all real! Maybe when I go to sleep, I sleep walk as Justin Timberlake... AND Bieber... and then live in horrible, argumentative fashion with Jessica Biel. People, IDK! I just want closure! But, I fear, It's never gonna happen.

Today is Halloween. Imma get some candy, rock a costume, and forget/suppress all of this. In this life, you'll rarely get closure when bad stuff happens to you, BUT you can ALWAYS get candy - that's what I tell the kids.

I'll leave you all with that. Happy Halloween!

And you TRAIN yourselves to wake up if you ever spot Biel in a dream!

#jessica biel #john praphit #praphitproductions.com #dreams #dream interpretation #justin timberlake #justin bieber #praphit #movies #Movie Reviews #dolemite #Scarlett Johansson #countdown #costumes #halloween #marriage #relationships #rachel dolezal

2 notes · View notes

bamby0304 · 6 years

Text

The Hart II: Highway

Summary: Off on her own, without the Winchesters, Bobby, Ellen or Jo, Lizzie tries to get back to what she does best… hunting. But time is running out, Dean’s soul is on the line, and now everyone knows Lizzie is psychic like Sam. Can the brothers and Lizzie work through their problems? Or will they lose everything?

Bamby’s Masterlist

The Hart Masterlist

The Hart II: Highway Masterlist

Part Thirty: The Hellhounds are Coming

Warnings: Angst. Violence. Hallucinations.

Bamby

DPOV

I was running. My heart pounding in my chest and my feet pounding on the dirt ground. Trees and bushes surrounded me as I rushed through the woods, trying to stay ahead. They were close. Too close. I could hear their growls, practically smell their meaty breaths.

The Hellhounds.

Everything hurt. Breathing in air felt like I was breathing in fire as it scrapped along my lungs. My legs ached with each step. I'd been running for so long now...

...

"Dean." Liz's calm voice woke me from my sleep.

I sat up from where my head had been resting on the desk in front of me. Looking over, I saw her leaning down next to me, watching me carefully.

Breathing heavily, I looked down at the book on my desk, the one I'd been reading before I fell asleep. It was open on a picture of a hellhound...

"Hey." Liz reached over to brush my hair back a little, her movements gentle and delicate. "Bad dream?"

"You could say that." I sighed, wrapping my hand around her wrist before tugging her down so she'd sit on my lap. "Would sleep better if you joined me." I grinned, at her- forcing it slightly.

Shaking her head at me, she smiled back. "You're unbelievable, Winchester."

"Dig up anything good?" Sam asked as he walked into the room, trying not to smile at Liz and I.

I shook my head at him. "No. Nothing good."

"Well, Bobby has. Finally."

Liz jumped off my lap. "Really?"

"Yeah." Sam nodded, a grin lifting the corner of his lip. "A way to find Lilith."

"Wow. With just, uh," I looked down at my watch, "thirty hours to go." Smirking, I gave a short shrug. "Hey, why don't we just make a TJ-run, yeah? You know... some senoritas, cervezas, uh, we could... what's Spanish for 'donkey show'?"

Sam chuckled lightly. "So if we do save you... let's never do that."

"Agreed." Liz gave me a playful glare.

"Hey, Dean." Sighing, Sam's smile fell as he stepped closer to the desk, looking down at me. "Look, we're cutting it close, I know. But we're gonna get this done. I don't care what it takes, Dean. You're not gonna go to hell. I'm not gonna let you. Lizzie isn't gonna let you. I swear. Everything's gonna be okay."

While listening to him, I'd paid attention but hadn't really taken anything to heart. I knew we didn't have a lot of control over my circumstances now. I'd been turning to look up at him and say exactly that, but stopped the moment my eyes landed on him.

Sam's face turned darker as if it were decaying. It was distorted, flinging to the sides rapidly in an inhumane way. I looked to Liz, seeing her face doing the same thing. It was utterly terrifying.

But it stopped just as suddenly as it had started.

Nodding slowly at them, I cautiously watched and waited for something else to happen. "Yeah, okay."

EPOV

I stood on Dean's left as Sam stood on his right. We were watching Bobby as he placed a large old tracing device over a map of the United States. Three wooden legs held the stand of the device up, as a crystal ball sat in a frame up the top, with a sharp tipped, hanging pendulum pointing at the map.

"So you need a name, that's the whole kit and caboodle. With the right name, right ritual, ain't nothing you can't suss out," Bobby explained.

"Like the town Lilith's in?" Sam asked.

Bobby looked up at him. "Kid, when I get done, we'll know the street." Reaching forward, he started to swing the pendulum as he started to chant Latin.

The three of us watched him with anticipation, waiting for the point to stop. After a moment, it did.

"New Harmony, Indiana," Bobby read. "And we have a winner."

"Alright." Sam pushed the pendulum away. "Let's go."

I was about to head for the door when Dean grabbed my arm, stopping me. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on. Let's all shut up there, Tex."

Sam frowned at his brother, confused. "What's the problem?"

"What's the problem?" Dean repeated as if it should be obvious. "Come on, where do I begin? I mean, first of all, we don't even know if Lilith holds my deal. We're going off of Bela's intel? Now when that bitch breathes, the air comes out crooked. Okay. Second, even if we could get to Lilith, we have no way to gank her. And third, isn't this the same Lilith that wants your giant head on a pike? Should I continue?"

Bobby scoffed, unamused. "Ain't you just bringing down the room."

Dean shrugged. "Yeah, well, it's a gift."

He had a lot of good points, but if I was being honest, I didn't care anymore. I just wanted Dean safe. This was it. This was the end. He had just over a day before he was going down south, and I was not talking about Australia. No. He was headed straight for hell.

Sam shook his head, trying to wrap his mind around what Dean was saying. "I'm sorry, so then what are we supposed to do, Dean?"

"Just 'cause I gotta die doesn't mean you have to, okay. Either we go in smart or we don't go in at all."

"Okay, fine. If that's the case I have the answer."

I lifted my hands in the air. "I am up for anything. What you got?"

"A sure-fire way to confirm it's Lilith and a way to get us a bona fide demon-killing ginsu."

"Damn it, Sam, no," Dean snapped.

"We're so past arguing. Dean, I am summoning Ruby. "

"The hell you are! We have enough problems as it is."

"Exactly. And we've got no time and no choice either."

"Come on man, she is the Miss Universe of lying skanks, okay. She told you that she could save me, huh. Lie. She seems to know everything about Lilith but forgot to mention, oh right. Lilith owns my soul!"

"Okay, fine. She's a liar. She's still got that knife."

"For all we know, she works for Lilith."

"Then give me another option, Dean. I mean, tell me what else."

"Sam's right." Bobby weighed in.

But Dean wasn't having any of it. "No! Damn it!" He took a breath, seeing the shocked looks on our faces because of his outburst. Once a little calmer, he tried again. "Just no. We are not gonna make the same mistakes all over again. You guys wanna save me, find something else," he stated before walking out of the room.

"I've got him," I said before hurrying off after Dean.

He walked out the front door and onto the porch, coming to a stop with a sigh, running his hand over his face.

Stepping up behind him, I wrapped my arms around his waist and pressed my cheek against his back. "There is no way I could possibly understand the stress and worry you're feeling right now. But you have to understand why Sam wants to summon Ruby."

Grabbing my hands, Dean pulled my arms away from him before pulling me so I stood in front of him. "I get it. But if we make one wrong move, he's dead too. Maybe even you."

I shrugged. "I'd rather risk my life to save yours, than just let you die. You're too important to me."

Our eyes locked then. I couldn't say the words, but he understood what I meant, what I was hinting at.

Time with Dean had built a bond with him that surpassed simple friendship. I could tell myself a million times over that we were just friends that occasionally slept together. But I couldn't fool myself anymore. My feelings for Dean had grown into something I thought I'd never feel for anyone. Feelings I'd never had for anyone before.

Which is exactly why I was willing to do whatever needed, in order to keep him alive.

SPOV

Kneeling on the ground in the basement, I drew and triangle on the floor, with symbols in every point of it. Candles sat on the outside of the triangle, lit. While a bowl of a dry, green substance sat in the middle of it all.

Taking a deep breath, I began to chant, knowing this was going to piss Dean off once he found out.

"Ad construgendum ad ligandum eos pariter Et solvendum."

A sound coming from behind had me pause. But as I looked over a waited a moment, nothing happened. So, with a sigh, I got back to it.

"Et ad congregantum eos coram me."

Taking a box of matches, I pulled one out and lit it up, watching the flames for a beat before throwing it into the bowl. The contents inside ignited, the fire flaring up for a moment or two, before calming down and burning out.

Pulling myself off the floor, I looked around a waited.

"You know, phones work too." Turning around, I found Ruby leaning against a doorway, smiling at me. "Hey, Sam. How's tricks?"

I didn't return the smile, keeping my mouth in a set and angry line. "How do you get around so fast?"

"I got the Super Bowl jet pack." She shrugged and began to walk towards me. "So. You called?"

"Did you know?"

"Um... gonna need a tiny bit more."

"About Dean's deal. That Lilith holds the contract."

She didn't miss a beat as she answered. "Yes, I did."

"And... what? You didn't think that was important?"

"You weren't ready."

"For what?"

"If I told you, you two yahoos would have just charged after her half-cocked and Lilith would have peeled the meat from your pretty, pretty faces."

"Well, we're ready now," I told her. "I want your knife."

She watched me as she started walking slow circles around where I stood. "You're right about one thing. You are ready. And now's the time, too. Lilith's guard's down."

"Is that so?"

"She's on shore-leave. A little R&R."

"The hell's that mean?"

"Trust me, you don't wanna know. You didn't lose those hex bags I gave you?"

"We've got 'em."

"Good. Then she won't sense that you're coming."

"So, you'll give us the knife?" I asked, trying to watch her wat me as she continued to circle me.

"No."

"But you just said-"

"You wanna charge in with one little pig-sticker? It's a waste of a true-blue window. Like getting Hitler with that exploding briefcase. Forget it."

"Okay, then how?" I wanted her to answer, now. My patience was running thin.

She stopped in front of me. "I know how to save your brother, Sam."

"No, you don't! You told Dean you couldn't! You've been lying to me all along, so just give me your damn knife!"

"You're not the one I've been lying to."

"Oh, so you can save him?"

"No. But you can."

That left me speechless for a second. Confused. "What?"

"Sam, you've got some God-given talent. Well, not 'God'-given but you get the gist."

"All that psychic crap? That's gone ever since Yellow-Eyes died."

She shook her head at me. "Not gone… dormant. Little Lizzie's proof of that. And it's not just visions either. Why do you think Lilith is so scared of you?"

"Right," I scoffed. "She's scared of me."

"If you wanted, you could wipe her off the map without moving a muscle."

"I don't believe you."

"It's the truth."

"And you decided to tell me this just now?"

"Um... demon. Manipulative's kinda in the job description. Fact is, is that you would have never considered it. Not until you were-"

"Desperate enough?" I finished for her.

We exchanged looks before she shrugged. "You don't like being different. You hate the way Dean looks at you sometimes. Like you're some kind of sideshow freak. But suck it up because we've got a lot of ground to cover, and we've gotta do it fast. But we can do it."

She wasn't right or wrong. Yeah, I hated the way I felt sometimes. But it was a little better now. Knowing Lizzie was like me. I wasn't alone in all of this. She had my back and I had hers. We understood each other.

But at the same time, she had better control and more power. She was getting better and better, while I stayed the same. That, I didn't feel too great about.

"Look. Call me a bitch, hate me all you want, but I have never lied to you, Sam. Not ever. And I'm telling you. You can save your brother, and I can show you how."

"So that's you, huh?" At the sound of Dean's voice I looked over Ruby's shoulder, seeing him standing behind her clearly not happy as he went on. "Our slutty little Yoda."

"Dean," she sighed and turned to him, her voice harder as she spoke to him. "Charming as ever."

"Aw, I knew you'd show up," Dean stated, moving towards us. "Because I knew Sam wouldn't listen." Out of guilt, I looked away, listening to him still. "But you're not gonna teach him anything, you understand me? Over my dead body."

She scoffed. "Oh. Well, you're right about that."

"What you are gonna do is give me that knife. And then you can just go crawl back into whatever slop you came from and never bother me or my brother again. Are we clear?"

"Your brother is carrying a bomb inside of him and we'd be stupid not to use it."

"Dean, look, just hold on for one-"

He cut me off, pissed. "Sam! Don't. Come on man, what, are you blind? Can't you see that this is a trick?"

"That's not true," Ruby insisted.

But he just ignored her, looking at me. "She wants you to give into this whole demonic psychic whatever, okay. I mean hell, she probably wants you to become her little anti-Christ Super Star."

Ruby was getting worked up too, now. "I want Lilith dead. That's all."

"Why?" Dean asked her.

"I've told you why!"

"Oh, right, yeah. Because you were human once and you liked kittens and long walks on the beach."

"You know, I am so sick of proving myself to you. You wanna save yourself, this is how. You dumb, spineless dick."

Shaking his head, Dean turned to leave, only to stop and swing a right hook back, hitting Ruby right in the face.

I backed away at the look in both of their eyes, knowing there was nothing I could do. Dean made the first move. It was now on.

Having taken a few steps back because of the hit, Ruby pulled herself back up and wiped away the blood from her lip. After a beat or two, she pulled back and then punched him back, once with her right fist and then her left.

"Ruby, hey!" I reached out to try and stop her.

She spun around and kicked out at me, causing me to double over. That's when she kneed me in the face, and sent me flying across the space and into a beam.

I slid to the ground, which is where I stayed as I watched her stalk over to Dean.

Dean was readying, hitting her in the face with his left fist and then making a move with his right. But she dodged him quickly, and then kneed him in the stomach. Over and over a few times, she kept kneeing him until she let him drop all together.

He tried to get up, but she just kicked out at him, sending him rolling on the floor, further away from me. He kept trying to get to his feet, but again, she was right there. Grabbing him this time, she pulled him up so they were face to face, only so she could headbutt him.

Falling back again, Dean landed on the floor, looking up as Ruby stood a few feet away from him. Yet still, he simply grinned at her.

"The hell are you grinning at?" she snarled.

"Missing something?" He pulled her knife out from his jacket.

"I'll kill you, you son of a bitch." She rushed forward, but was throw back by an invisible wall.

The three of us looked up at the ceiling, seeing a Devil's trap painted there in red.

Dean continued to grin at Ruby her angry grew with each second. "Like I said," he lowered the knife, but continued to hold it, "I knew you'd come." Turning away, he started for the stairs.

"Wait!" she called after him. "You're just gonna leave me here?"

He stopped and turned to me, ignoring her. "Let's go, Sam."

As I got up and moved to follow him, Ruby glared at us.

"Oh, oh so you're just too stupid to live, is that it? Then fine! You deserve hell! I wish I could be there, Dean. I wish I could smell the flesh sizzle off your bones! I wish I could be there to hear you scream!"

"And I wish you'd shut your pie hole, but we don't always get what we want," Dean called to her as we reached the top of the stairs.

DPOV

Standing by a table, getting our weapons ready, I looked over at Sam. We were silently working, understanding what we were going into and processing the situation. But looking at my brother, I could tell there was more playing on his mind.

As if realising I was watching him, he sighed and spoke up. "We're just gonna let Ruby rot down there?"

"That's the idea," I answered simply as I looked back down at the guns.

It was that simple. She was a demon, a bad guy. We were the good guys. We couldn't afford any distractions. She wanted things from Sam that I wasn't willing to let happen. Despite the fact that yes, he used to have abilities that came from demon blood, I did not think there was much else he could do besides what we were planned.

Ruby was lying, and that was that.

But he still believed her. "Dean, what if, uh... what if Ruby's right? What if I can take out Lilith?" When I looked up at him again, showing the anger and doubt on my face, he shook his head. "Quit looking at me like that."

"What, are you gonna give her the Carrie-stare and Lilith goes 'poof'?"

"I don't know what Ruby meant. You know, maybe we should just go ask her."

"Sam, you wanted the knife. I got you the knife." Turning away, I started for the other table where more weapons sat.

"Dean, just listen to me for a second. Last time Lilith snapped her fingers and put thirty demons on our ass, and all we got's one little knife? I mean, like you said, we go in smart or we don't go in at all."

I shook my head. "Well, this ain't smart."

"We got one shot at this, Dean. Just one. So, if there's a sure-fire way then maybe we should just talk about it."

"Sam." Walking back to him, I needed to get him to understand. "We are not gonna make the same mistake all over again."

"You said that but what does it even mean?"

"Don't you see a pattern here? Dad's deal, my deal, now this? I mean every time one of us is- is- is up the creek the other is begging to sell their soul. That's all this is, man. Ruby's just jerking your chain down the road. You know what it's paved with and you know where it's going." Turning again, I sat against the table and got back to work, avoiding looking at him.

Sighing, Sam came to stand on my side of the table, shaking his head at me. "Dean." He took a seat next to me, watching as I continued with the weapons. "What do you think is gonna happen? This is me, I can handle it."

My hands stopped working on the gun, but I still didn't look at him as he went on.

"And if it'll save you..."

"Why even risk it?" Finally looking up at him, I was met by him looking away for a beat before looking at me again.

"Because you're my brother. Because you did the same thing for me."

I scoffed. "I know... and look how that turned out." He looked away again then. "All I'm saying..." I choked up a little. "Sammy, all I'm saying is that you're my weak spot." When he looked surprised and confused, I gave a short nod. "You are. And I'm yours."

"You don't mean that. We're... we're family."

"I know. And those evil sons of bitches know it too. I mean, what we'll do for each other, you know, how far we'll go? They're using it against us."

"So what? We just stop looking out for each other?"

"No, we stop being martyrs, man. We- we- we stop spreading it for these demons." I picked up Ruby's knife, holding it out in front of him. "We take this knife, and we go after Lilith our way. The way dad taught us to. And if we go down, then, uh... then we go down swinging." When he just looked at me, I shrugged. "What do you think?"

He looked to the floor, thinking for a moment before turning his eyes back to me. "I think you totally should have been jamming Eye of the Tiger right there."

Rolling my eyes, I stood. "Oh, bite me. I totally rehearsed that speech, too."

He chuckled lightly. "So, Indiana, huh?"

"Yeah, where Lilith's on shore-leave."

"Yeah, I guess."

"Tell me something." I turned to him again. "The hell's a demon do for fun?"

...

Try as I might, Baby would not start. Looking to Sam, he was just as confused as I was, watching as I turned the keys over and over again.

Suddenly Bobby and Liz appeared at my window, not looking too pleased.

"Where do you think you're going?" Bobby held up the distributor cap from Baby in his hand.

Sighing, Sam and I got out of the car, moving to stand in front of Bobby and Liz as they waited for an explanation.

"We got the knife," I told them.

"And you intend to use it without us." It wasn't a question, Bobby knew. "Do we look like a couple of ditchable prom-dates to you?"

"No." Sam shook his head. "Of course not."

Looking from Bobby, to Liz, seeing the hurt look in her eyes, I sighed again. "This is about me... and Sam. Ok? This isn't your fight."

Bobby took a step towards me, my words hitting a nerve. "The hell it isn't! Family don't end with blood, boy. Besides, you need me."

"Bobby-"

He cut me off. "You're playing wounded. Tell me, how many hallucinations have you had so far?"

Looking down at the ground, avoiding everyone's eyes, I shifted a little, at the looks I could feel Liz and Sam give me. Then, with a short shrug, I met Bobby's gaze again. "How'd you know?"

"Because that's what happens when you've got hellhounds on your butt. And because I'm smart." with that answer, he handed me the distributor cap. "I'll follow." Turning, he walked towards his car, calling over his shoulder at us. "Don't be stopping to pee every ten minutes either."

Shaking my head at him, I looked to Liz as Sam moved around to get back in the car.

"Look-"

Taking a step closer, she glared up at me. "Don't, 'look' me. We're in this together, Winchester. You didn't like it when I ditched you, so don't do the same to me. Understand?" It was a rhetorical question. Pushing past my shoulder, she moved to the back door. "Now hurry up. Not like we've got all the time in the world."

...

"Hey, Dean?"

Keeping my attention on the road, I glanced at Sam for a moment. "Yeah?"

"You know if this doesn't, uh... this doesn't go the way we want, I want you to know-"

"No," I cut him off, shaking my head. "No, no, no, no."

"'No' what?"

"No, you're not gonna bust out the misty good-bye speech, okay?" I told him, needing things to stay the same. If he started thinking things were going bad, I'd start believing that's the only option. "And if this is my last day on earth, I do not want it to be socially awkward. You know what I do want?" Reaching over, I flicked the radio on just as Bon Jovi's Wanted Dead or Alive started.

"Bon Jovi?" Liz sounded amused and surprised.

I nodded, looking at her through the rear-view mirror with a grin. "Bon Jovi rocks, on occasion."

She smiled back at me as I began to sing along to the song.

"And I walk these streets

A loaded six-string on my back

I play for keeps"

Nudging Sam, I encouraged them both to join. "Come on."

"'Cause I might not make it back

I've been everywhere"

Finally, reluctantly, Sam started singing as well.

"Oh yeah"

Looking in the mirror again, I gave Liz a pointed look that had her rolling her eyes before she joined us as well.

"And I'm standing tall

I've seen a million faces

And I rocked 'em all

'Cause I'm a cowboy

On a steel horse I ride

I'm wanted"

The two of them were really getting into it now.

"Wanted!

Dead or Alive

Dead or Alive..."

As they kept singing my smile faded. Neither of them noticed me fall silent, my attention seemingly back on the road. But in all honesty, I wasn't in the car anymore. No, my mind was focused on too much. On the past, the future, the 'what if's'.

I had no idea what was coming for me, and that's what scared me the most.

Bamby

#dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester fic #dean winchester x oc #elizabeth rose hart #the hart #the hart ii: highway

17 notes · View notes

samkat10423 · 6 years

Text

Adventures with Theo - 02-08-2013, 03:58 PM

A special thanks to simgoddess Manu. You will be happy to learn that Theo has taken your suggestions to heart. So much so, that she even wrote your song down, just so she could properly learn it! So, with that in mind, here is her latest adventure:

Whew!!!!! I am soooooo glad I woked up this mornin, becuz I've got lots to tell you. You'll never guess what happened to me last night. Leastways I think it was last night. 'Korz I was sleepin' at the time, so it coulda been most anytime, doncha know! But that's not im...imp.... imp-port-tar-rant. Ooooh! I did good with that word! samkat telled...told me, that when I have problimbs with big words, I should make them little and say them each part at a time. That way, I won't say them wrong! Pretty smart, doncha think! Guess that's why she's a simgoddezz. Anyways, what was I tellin' you? ..... Oh! I re-member! I had this dream! 'Cept that Manu simgoddezz called it a 'Dee Wine con-tra-cep-tion.' Not that I rightly know what that means, but it must be real imp-port-tar-rant, becuz she was all worked up 'bout it. But I'm thinkin' it might have somethin to do with that sim Dee what come and gived me that remakeable, becuz simgoddezz Manu said they went to court and got some festered clothes. Which don't make no sense. But wanna know a sekrit? Even in dreams, you gotta just nod your head and pretense that you agree, even iffn you don't, becuz them simgods hate to admit that they're wrong. Even when they are. Most you can do, is nod your head and say, "There, there!" But she did say I can go to Burgernuts, so that was good. But she telled....told me not to talk to them jesters they got there. And I can't ask them 'bout Darts'n Teepees. Or that donut place. Not unless I learnt that song she wrote for me. So today, I'll be praktisizing it. Becuz wanna know a sekrit? She said I hafta...have to... sing it real good, then that sim named Barf will get me some toffee, which I'm thinkin' must be some sorta Frenchie coffee. And I'm guessin' you hafta drink it, iffn you want to go to Donkey Tofu.

Anyway, before I can work on my song, samkat said I had to find a job. So's I looked in that old newsiepaper that one little keeps throwin in my yard, and guess what! I can get paid to catch ghosties! How cool is that!!! So, that's what I'm gonna do tonight. Becuz you have to wait til it's dark outside, becuz that's when them 'ghosties and ghoulies, and long-leggity beasties' - that's what the newsiepaper calls them - comes out to vizit. And goes bumpin in the night, doncha know! So, while I'm waitin', I figyered I'd fix my stove. And guess what!!! That one majikalistik book says I can do it with my stick! Alls I have to do it swish and sing a majik song! Is that easy or what? So I'm thinkin', I can sing that song that that Manu gived me. Becuz a song written by a simgoddezz must be all mystikalish, doncha think? So, that's what I'm gonna do! I even wrote it down, so's I wouldn't forget none of it. Pretty smart, huh? So, here goes....

"Fart's a tofua. Bart's a dopia! Oooh, Dee will you pee! Foam oh cut us! Whiches are bust and them jeans got no seams, Darts'n tofua! Darts'n tofua! Oooh, Dee will you pee! Vamptires get spiders! Wearthemwolves bump and bring back a skunk! Fart's a tofua. Bart's a dopia! Oooh, Dee will you pee! Wee berries arnot beanies, Rum'n dew bees, can pray on their knees! Darts'n tofua! Darts'n tofua! Oooh, Dee will you pee!" Whew! That's a mouthful! But guess what! It worked!!! And my stove is all better now. How cool is that!!!

Well, I've been singin' that song all day, but now it's time to go catch me some of them ghosties. I found this uni...unif...these clothes in my mailerbox, with a note that said I hafta wear it when I go out lookin' for ghosties, becuz the yellow scars them. For real! So, even though it ain't real stylesome like my real clothes, I guess I'll put it on. And sinz I got to walk to work, becuz there ain't no cars in this here world, I'll work some more on my song... " Fart's a tofua. Bart's a dopia! Oooh, Dee will you pee!......"

Well, it's gettin' real dark out here, so's I'm guessin' the ghosties should start comin' out to play in a bit. 'Korz that terrible music some sim's playin' might scar them off. Although, how they can work their radio when there ain't no elektrizede in this here world, is konfuzilatin to me. Anyways, I guess I'd best sing some more. Just to drown out their ricketts. "Darts'n tofua! Darts'n tofua! Oooh, Dee will you pee! Vamptires get spiders! Wearthemwolves bump and bring back a skunk!"

Whoa!!! Ghosties!!!! How cool is that!!! And guess what! I was gonna use my stick to swish 'em, and make 'em into ghosikles, liked I did with that Jabberknees lady. Jist so's they'd be easier to catched, doncha know.

But when I reached into my pocket, out came this harefryer! Well, I didn't knowed what to do, but then the ghostie skreamed real loud like, and that music got louder and louder, and all of a sudden this bright light comes shootin' outta the end of the fryer and the ghostie cried and then... and then...poof! He was gone! I kilt him! I did! I kilt that poor little ghostie!!!!

Well, I don't think I like this job. Nobody told me I would be a-killin' ghosties. So, that's it! I'm goin' back home. And samkat can be mad at me, but I don't care. Killin' ghosties ain't right! For real!

#sims 3 #sims 3 stories #Adventures with Theo #Les Sims 3 Sunset Died #ghost-hunter career

11 notes · View notes

therainroguefanfiction · 4 years

Text

🔥 ℝise Ⱥbove I̾t ◈ Chapter 016 [A Hard Lesson]

📑 Table of Contents | ◂Backward

Word Count: 2,938

⊱ ────── {⋅. 🔥 .⋅} ────── ⊰

〈“There’s a moment in your bones, When the fire takes over. Blood is running, Heart is pumping, as the battle gets closer.” The Score, “Unstoppable”〉

⊱ ────── {⋅. 🔥 .⋅} ────── ⊰

I stifled a yawn as I walked to school. Man, why did I stay up so fucking late playing with that angry chihuahua? I had only planned on playing for a few hours, but his trash-talking got under my skin and I refused to let him win bragging rights. Our match-up didn’t end until three in the morning when his mom came in and screamed at him to go to bed.

“You look like shit,”

“Fuck off, Bakugo.”

He grunted, yawning loudly from beside me. “You didn’t win,”

“Neither did you,”

“I would have if not for the old hag!”

I hummed, not really having the energy to argue with him. He got the same amount of sleep that I did, so how can he have the energy to be so loud? Kids these days are nuts. The classroom was full of energy too, but it died down a bit when we entered. Guess they remembered our little spat the day before.

My eyes landed on Midoriya, who was chatting happily with Ochako and Iida. Now that I know for certain that he’s Toshi’s successor, I feel this strong need to protect him and look out for him. Toshi can’t be with this kid at all times, but I’m his classmate, I can.

I stepped over to his desk, readjusting my bad. “Izuku Midoriya, right?”

His cheeks grew red. “Y-Yes. Did you need something, W-Winchester?”

“Hm, you can drop the last name. Let’s be friends.”

“Hah?!” Bakugo grabbed the back of my shirt, attempting to yank me back and away from the greenette. “Why the fuck are you tryin’ to befriend that nerd?!”

I scowled and whipped around, slamming my foot into his stomach. “Will you shut the fuck up? It’s too damn early for your issues!”

“Woah, she just attacked Bakugo!”

“They fought after class yesterday, too.”

“Yeah, what was that about?”

“Oh my god, what if they’re dating?!”

Oh for fuck’s sake. I ran my hand down my face, turning to look at the green-haired boy, my glare softening when he jumped. “Oi, Izuku.”

“I-I don’t mind being your f-friend, Winche – ah, Jen!”

“Oi, you damn bitch,” Bakugo growled, throwing at punch toward my head. I kneeled down, swiping his legs out from under him with my own. He jumped up quicker than I anticipated, explosions going off in his palms. I stepped back, fixing my stance as my hands started to heat up, fire licking the skin of my palms.

“K-Kacchan! W-Winchester!” Izuku looked between the two of us, his expression full of worry.

“Stop this immediately!” Iida demanded.

Bakugo smirked. “Fuck video games, I’ll beat your ass in real life instead!”

I grunted. “You can try. No guarantees I can control myself.”

“Enough,” Aizawa slid the door open, narrowed eyes going between the two of us. “Sit down,”

We stared each other down for a moment before I stood up straight, closing my palms to extinguish the flames. Smoke rose from my hands as I headed to my seat.

“This ain’t over, bitch!”

“Yeah, whatever.” I sighed, falling onto my seat. What is it about this brat that brings the worst out in me? He makes me wanna punch shit. He’s gotta have a second quirk that lets him push people’s buttons. And look, Peppermint is glaring at me again. Does he have a hard-on for Bakugo or some shit?

“Today’s training will be a little different. You’ll have three instructors – me, All Might, and another faculty member will be keeping tabs on you.”

Three teachers? Is this because of the break-in yesterday?

“Sir! What kind of training is this?”

Aizawa held out a card, the word ‘rescue’ written in big, bold letters. “Rescue. You’ll be dealing with natural disasters – shipwrecks, stuff like that.”

Gee, what a nice selection we have. Just shipwrecks, huh? I rolled my eyes. This sounds like it’s gonna be a pain.

“Disasters, huh? Sounds like we’re in for a big workout…”

“Totally!”

“Real hero stuff… This is what separates the men from the boys. I’m shaking with excitement!”

“Finally, I’ll get to show off how good I am in water, ribbit.”

“Guys, I’m not finished yet,” Aizawa said, annoyance lacing his voice. “What you wear in this exercise is up to you, I know you’re excited about costumes.” He clicked a remote and the shelves extended from the wall carrying the metal cases. “But keep in mind, you haven’t gotten used to them yet and they might limit your abilities. This special training is at an off-campus facility so we’ll be taking a bus to get there. That’s all. Start getting ready.”

Rescue training… I wonder what kinda shit we’re gonna be doing. I stifled a yawn as I grabbed my case and followed the girls to the locker room. Man, my stomach is killing me, I shoulda ate breakfast, but if I had, I woulda been late for class. I sluggishly pulled my costume on, ending up being one of the last girls to leave the room. The group was gathered outside, waiting for Aizawa to give them the order to get on the bus.

A whistle filled the air. “Gather ’round, class 1-A! Using your student numbers, form two lines so we can load the bus efficiently!” Iida ordered, blowing the whistle again.

Man, that shit’s fucking loud. He takes this shit way too seriously, what is with him? I ignored the group, stepping onto the bus and making a beeline for the backseat so I could get some peace and quiet. Iida was the last person on the bus, falling into his seat with his head in his hands.

“The bus’ open layout ruined my boarding strategy…”

“Iida, you really need to chill.”

“If we’re pointing out the obvious, then there��s something I wanna say. About you, actually.” Frog turned to Izuku, whose cheeks flushed at the sudden attention.

“About me? What is it, Asui?” His voice reflected the nervousness he was suddenly feeling.

“I told you to call me Tsu.”

“Oh yeah… right…”

“That power of yours…” she continued. “Isn’t it a lot like All Might’s?”

My body tensed and I leaned forward in my seat, making Tape Boy glance at me curiously from my right. Damn, this girl is really perceptive, ain’t she? And she doesn’t seem to have much of a filter, either. I mean, it’s hella obvious, but that’s beside the point. Shit, what do I do? Should I step in and change the subject? What if I start a fight with Bakugo? That always gets people’s attention. Can this kid handle it himself?

“W-What? Really? You think so, huh? I never really thought about that. I guess it’s kinda -” He started to ramble on as his panic built and I deadpanned. This kid is a fucking disaster.

“Wait, hold on, Tsu. You’re forgetting All Might doesn’t hurt himself, that makes a huge difference.” Red commented, making Izuku let out a sigh of relief. “Still, I bet it’s cool to have a simple augmenting type of quirk. You can do a lot of flashy stuff with it. My hardening is super strong and can destroy bad guys in a fight,” He held out his arm, skin hardening like rock. “But it doesn’t look all that impressive.”

“Ah, no way! I think it’s really awesome looking! You’re definitely pro material with a quirk like that!” Izuku is starting to fanboy again.

I sighed, leaning back in my seat and folding my arms behind my head. I wonder if I can get in a nap before we get there.

“You really think so? Seems like it’d be easier to be a popular hero if I had something flashier!”

Popularity ain’t everything, kid.

“My naval laser has the perfect combination of panache and strength.”

“But it’s way lame if it gives you a stomachache, sweety.”

“Well, if any of our classmates have pro quirks, it’s Todoroki, Bakugo, and Winchester.”

Wait, what? Why me? I barely even used my quirk.

“Sure, but Bakugo is always angry and Winchester is really anti-social so they’ll never be that popular.”

“What did you say?! I’ll kick your ass!”

I leaned forward, eyes narrowed at her. “Don’t fucking lump me in with this dumbass. I don’t want to be popular, people are dickbags.”

“Who the fuck are you calling dumbass, bitch?!”

“Would you prefer dipshit? Donkey? Angry hedgehog? Edgelord? Murder? There’s plenty to choose from for your ass.”

“I’ll kill you!”

“See?” Frog stuck her tongue out, pointing at us.

“You know, we basically just met you two, so it’s kinda telling that we all know your personalities are flaming crap mixed with garbage.”

“Is that the best insult you could come up with, brat?” I glared at Sparky, my eyes flashing as my hands started to burn a bit. “Maybe stop having your kid brother write your lines for you.”

His face flushed.

“You’re gonna regret the day you applied to this damn school, you loser! I’ll kill you!”

“Enough! Classmates are supposed to encourage each other!” Iida intervened.

“I’m going to encourage this dumbass to explode!”

“Wait, what did you just say? Phrasing, dude.”

I scoffed. “It’s easy to talk shit, especially when there’s a teacher around. Try doing it when we’re alone and see what happens.” I stared Sparky down and he swallowed, turning his face away.

“Alright, just apologize, all of you!”

“Sure, if they go first.”

“Like hell I will!”

“Hey, hey, we’re here!” Aizawa rose his voice as the bus pulled up to a stop. “Stop messing around.”

“Yes, sir!”

Everyone filed off the bus. Someone was standing outside waiting for us. Is that… the fucking Michelin man? The fuck, they really let anyone teach at this school, don’t they?

“Hello, everyone! I’ve been waiting for you!”

The group stared in awe and started going wild over this guy. Apparently, his name is Thirteen, the space hero. Honestly, I’m not too interested. I moved closer to Aizawa, putting him between myself and the group, lowering my voice. “Yo, teach. Can I skip this? I didn’t get much sleep last night, see and I -”

“No,”

“At least let me fin -”

“No,”

“Son of a -”

“I can’t wait to show you what’s inside!”

I followed Aizawa as the two teachers led us into the large, dome-shaped building. From the vantage point that the stairs offered, I could see the inside sectioned off into different zones.

“Holy crap. It looks like some kind of amusement park!”

“A shipwreck, a landslide, a fire, a windstorm, etc.” Thirteen began. “I created this training facility to prepare you to deal with different types of disasters. I call it the Unforeseen Simulation Joint, but you can call it the USJ!”

I resisted the urge to facepalm. What is with that shitty ass name? This guy has zero creativity.

“Hey, shouldn’t All Might be here already?” Aizawa moved closer to Thirteen. “Let me guess, he booked an interview instead.”

Thirteen moved closer, lowering his voice. I was close enough to hear them, but I don’t think the others were. “Actually, it’s something else.”

“Hm?”

“Apparently, he did too much hero work on the way to school this morning and used up all of his power.” He held up three fingers. “He’s resting in the teacher’s lounge.”

I scoffed, shoving my hands into my pockets, moving to stand against the pillar nearby. “Dumbass,”

Aizawa sent me a look. “That man is the height of irresponsibility. The clock’s ticking, we should get started.” He moved to lean against the pillar beside me, folding his arms.

“Excellent! Before we begin, let me just say one thing! Well, maybe two things, possibly three, four, or five.”

Oh my tap dancing fucking Satan. I facepalmed, ignoring the weird look from Aizawa.

“Listen carefully! I’m sure you’re aware that I have a powerful quirk.”

Nope, I ain’t.

“It’s called ‘black hole’.”

How edgy.

“I can use it to suck up anything and turn it to dust.”

“Yeah! You’ve used black hole to save people from all kinds of disasters before, haven’t you?” Izuku asked, excitedly, his eyes sparkling.

“That’s true, but my quirk could also very easily be used to kill.”

My body tensed up and I let out a sharp breath. That’s a lesson I had to learn on my own, the hard way. In a way, I’m relieved this guy is laying it all out on the table like that, I just hope these brats take it to heart and actually listen. I glanced at Bakugo.

“Some of you also have powers that can be dangerous.” He tilted his head just a bit in my direction and I could feel his eyes on me through that damn helmet. “In our superhuman society, all quirks are certified and strictly regulated, so we often over-look how unsafe it can actually be. Please don’t forget that if you lose focus or make the wrong move, your powers can be deadly.”

I lowered my head and crossed my arms, nails digging into the fabric of my overshirt. This guilt, this overwhelming remorse that I have to deal with… it will never go away. Never. I… I don’t want these brats to experience this, not even the ones that piss me off. Taking a deep breath, I pushed away from the pillar, moving to stand beside Thirteen, well aware of all the eyes now staring at me, including the two teachers.

I stared at the ground, shoving a hand into my pocket. “You’re probably thinking that it’ll never happen to you, right? That you’re strong enough, that you have enough control, but you’re fucking stupid if you think that. You could have all the fucking control in the world until you meet that one person, that one fight, that one decision that pushes you over the edge. You can feel your control slipping but no matter how fucking hard you try to pull it back, it’s just out of reach. It’s your body, your power and yet… you can only sit back and watch as it destroys shit.”

My hands clenched harder, nails digging into my skin as I looked up, narrowed eyes scanning the shocked expressions of my classmates. Bakugo’s accusing gaze, Peppermint’s guarded gaze, Fumi’s worried gaze.

I took a breath. “But that’ll never happen to me! Your arrogance, over-confidence, ignorance… None of it matters when you’re staring at the face of the life your power just claimed. The eyes that will never shine again. The lips that will never take another breath. What then? It’s far too late, then. Too late for your realizations. Too late for, ‘I should have listened!’. You can never take it back. All you’re left with is this overwhelming feeling of guilt, remorse, and even a little hatred toward yourself. Every human being has this… innocence within their heart. Think of it as a white rose – untainted, pure. When you take a life, whether accidentally or on purpose, that rose becomes tainted by their blood. You can never go back to how it was, you can never reclaim that innocence, you can never…”

I released a shaky breath when Thirteen placed his hand on the small of my back. God, get your shit together, Jen. I shook my head and forced a grin. “Well, that’s what I read in an Agatha Christie novel, anyway. Brilliant writer, that one.” I walked back over to Aizawa, refusing to meet his worried gaze. “Sorry for interrupting, sensei. Just felt like a good time to promote an author I love.”

The tense air dispersed, a couple of students laughing as they believed the act I put on. I’ve always been a damned good liar, maybe I shoulda been an actress. Still, I could feel Bakugo, Izuku, and Peppermint staring at me, but I didn’t let my grin falter.

Thirteen cleared his throat. “Thank you for your insightful… reading, Winchester. Please refrain from interrupting in the future.”

“Sure~”

“She’s absolutely right about everything she said, though. Even if you’re trying to do something virtuous, like rescue someone. Thanks to Aizawa’s fitness tests, you have a solid idea of your quirk’s potential and because of All Might’s combat training, you likely experienced how dangerous your powers can be when used against other people. Carry those lessons over to this class. Today, you’re going to learn how to use your quirks to save people’s lives! You won’t be using your powers to attack enemies or each other, only to help. After all, that’s what being a hero is all about – ensuring the safety of others.” He bowed. “That’s all I have to say, thank you so much for listening!”

The group cheered, hyped up by Thirteen’s speech.

“Right, now that that’s over.” Aizawa pushed away from the wall.

That feeling of crushing dread suddenly fell upon my shoulders, ten times stronger than it had been yesterday. My stomach turned, my legs shaking. What the hell… is this fucking overwhelming feeling? I… I feel like I’m fucking drowning…

The lights started to flicker and my attention snapped to the source of the crushing aura, right at the center of the dome where a fountain sat. A black and purple portal started to open. No… it can’t be him. I swallowed hard as people started to emerge from the shadowy gate.

I instantly recognized that Golem looking mother fucker from Gramp’s study and I started to have flashbacks of that night, of his lifeless body, of the blood, smeared all over that bastard. It’s them… the fuckers that turned my life upside down.

The fuckers that killed my Gramps in cold blood.

⊱ ────── {⋅. 🔥 .⋅} ────── ⊰

▸ Forward

📜 Read more by checking out my masterlist 📜

0 notes

chill-pill-life · 7 years

Text

Seventeen going to the Convenience Store

Episode Four: Where Seventeen visits the convenience store because of someone’s hunger.

Mingyu: “Wonwoo~”

Wonwoo:

Mingyu: “Wonwoo~”

Wonwoo:

Mingyu: “WONWOO!!!”

Wonwoo: *jumps up from bed in shock* “What now?”

Mingyu: “I’m hungry” *smiles*

Wonwoo: “You’ve got to be kidding me”

Mingyu: “Minghao”

The8: “Shut up and go back to bed”

Mingyu: “No wake up!”

The8: “Go bother someone else”

Mingyu: “I’m hungry let’s go to the convenience store”

The8: “Ask someone else like Wonwoo”

Mingyu: “I did and he didn’t want to”

The8: “Obviously he wouldn’t IT’S 4AM YOU IDIOT”

Mingyu: “FINE you all leave me with no choice then…” *leaves room*

The8: “Finally thank god”

Mingyu: *takes a sip of water*

Mingyu: *clears throat*

Mingyu: “FIREEEEEEEEEEEE!!! FIREEEEEEEEEEE!!! WAKE UP EVERYONE THERE’S A FIREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!”

Mingyu: “COUPS HYUNG YOUR CHILDREN ARE ON FIREEEEE”

Mingyu: “JEONGHAN HYUNG YOUR HAIR IS ON FIREEEEE”

Mingyu: “WOOZI HYUNG YOUR STUDIO IS ON FIREEEEEEEE”

Mingyu: “CHAN YOUR MICHAEL JACKSON ALBUMS ARE ON FIREEEEEEE”

Mingyu: “VERNON YOUR MACBOOK IS ON FIREEEEEEE”

Mingyu: “HOSHI HYUNG WOOZI IS ON FIREEEEEEE”

Mingyu: “JOSHUA HYUNG YOUR GUITARS ARE ON FIREEEEEE”

Mingyu: “WONWOO YOUR BEANIE COLLECTION IS ON FIREEEEEE”

Mingyu: “JUN YOUR PASSPORT BACK TO CHINA IS ON FIREEEEEEE”

Mingyu: “SEUNGKWAN JEJU IS ON FIREEEEEEEEE”

Mingyu: “SEOKMIN DONKEY KONG IS ON FIREEEEEEE”

Mingyu: “MINGHAO MINGYU IS ON FIREEEEEEEEEEEEE”

Mingyu: *takes a seat on the sofa and waits patiently*

Seventeen: *runs into the living room*

Scoups: “MY CHILDREN ARE YOU ALL ALRIGHT?!”

Jeonghan: “AM I- AM I BALDDDD???! No wait don’t tell me I don’t want to know” *cries*

Dino: “MICHAEL JACKSON MY SPECIAL EDITION ALBUMS DON’T WORRY DINO WILL PROTECT CHU”

Jun: “My passport! My passport! Nooo!! I need it to leave this placeeeee”

Wonwoo: “1 beanie, 2 beanie, 3 beanie, 4 beanie…. WAIT beanie number 5 is missing!!!”

Hoshi: “WOOZI WOOZI WOOZI ARE YOU OUHKAY ERMAGAWD I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE SECRETLY CREPT INTO YOUR ROOM TO SLEEP TONIGHT”

Woozi: “You creep into my room to sleep?!”

Hoshi: “I didn’t say anything”

Vernon: *runs out with a pail of water and pours it on his mac*

Woozi: “Vernon, you know that you just poured a bucket full of water on your perfectly fine Macbook right?”

Vernon:

Vernon: “What?” *realises situation*

Woozi: “Unlike you all, I don’t fall for Mingyu’s dumbass tricks”

Vernon: “Give me a moment while I cry in the corner”

Woozi: “It’s gone bro”

Seungkwan: “HELLO HI OMG MUM I HEARD THAT THERE’S A FIRE IN JEJU ARE U OKAYYY? WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE’S NO FIRE?”

Joshua: “Is this powder on the floor- perhaps the remains of my guitar?” *welps*

The8: “No, it’s just leftover ramen seasoning that a certain someone forgot to clean last night”

Mingyu: “Minghao, I said I was on FIREEEee! why aren’t you asking if I’m okay??”

The8: “I honestly just came out to watch you get burnt alive but after coming out of my room, I am utterly disappointed”

Scoups: “Hang on someone’s missing! ONE OF MY CHILDREN IS MISSING!”

Scoups: “SEOKMIN! SEOKMIN WHERE ARE YOU?”

DK: “Sleeping”

Mingyu: “But your donkey kong is on fire!”

DK: “UGH I’m so done with you Mingyu, I hope every donkey kong burns to the ground” gasp

Scoups: “Okay so everyone’s fine, there is clearly NO fire, it’s 4 in the morning, what in the name is the meaning of this Kim Mingyu?”

Mingyu: “Mingyu wants food”

Seventeen: “…”

Jeonghan: “So let me get this straight, you woke us up at 4 freaking AM and messed around with my hair getting caught on fire, for food?!?!?!”

The8: “I knew it”

Vernon: “Dude not cool, my macbook got fried” *sobs*

DK: “Great, so donkey kong isn’t on fire, what a nightmare”

Woozi: “I’m going back to bed”

Mingyu: “But Mingyu wants some food” *pouts*

Jun: “Someone hold me back if not I’m gonna hit this tall thing”

Scoups: “Alright, alright. First of all, no violence in this household is allowed, secondly if it was allowed, I am the one who is going to hit this child”

Scoups: “Thirdly, since we’re already up, let’s just go down and get some food”

Mingyu: “YAYYY” *throws confetti in the air*

Dino: “Confetti! Wheeeeee!!” *tries to catch confetti*

Joshua: “Am I the only one who wonders where the confetti came from?”

Jun: “There is no way I’m going down at this time-“

Wonwoo: “I’m a little hungry”

Jun: “LETS GO”

Jeonghan: “Seungcheol, I blame you for spoiling our children”

Joshua: *glares at coups*

Scoups: “What do you mean? Mingyu’s bad habits came from you…”

Jeonghan: “What are you saying, you’re the one who always-“

Mingyu: “I WANT FOOD”

Scoups: “Can’t you see that your parents are arguing?!”

Jeonghan: “Don’t yell at the children!”

Scoups: “URGH”

*at the store*

Mingyu: “This is how heaven must look like”

Seungkwan: “Yeah, if you want to gain like 50 pounds and wear a size 100, going to the emergency ward for a heart attack then yeah sure!”

Dino: “Dino was upset about my albums before but my heart is fluttering, I think I’m in love”

Jun: *stares at chan and stares at the dinosaur crackers and back at chan*

Jun: “Must. Contain. Judgement.”

Dino: *hugs box of dinosaur shaped crackers*

Jeonghan: “Do you want me to buy that for you Dino?”

Dino: *nods like the adorable child he is*

Vernon: “Do they sell Macbooks here?”

Joshua: “No Hansol it’s a convenience store why would they sell Macbooks?”

Joshua: “Frankly, I’m quite happy that your Macbook is gone, it’s been creating a gap between our relationship, now I just need your phone to disappear and it’ll be all good between us”

Vernon: “Hello kind sir, do you perhaps sell Macs?”

Cashier: “Oh, we don’t but down the street there’s a Mac-“

Vernon: “THANK YOU SIR I WILL NEVER FORGET YOUR KINDNESS” *runs*

Cashier: “-Mcdonalds…”

Joshua: “So far so great” appearance of evil josh?

Mingyu: “HOLY MOLY WHAT IS THIS?”

Wonwoo: “Chips?”

Hoshi: “It’s called Cheetos gyu, haven’t you tried it before?”

Mingyu: “BUT IT’S ORANGE!”

The8: “It’s just cheese”

Mingyu: “CHEESEEEE”

Mingyu: *opens bag*

Wonwoo: “Erm Mingyu you know that you’re supposed to pay before opening it right?”

Mingyu: “Om nom nom what is this magical taste in my mouth?”

The8: “Don’t over-react Mingyu, it’s just chips covered in oil and artificial flavoured cheese”

Seungkwan: “You forgot to add trans fat”

Mingyu: “But it tastes sho good!” *squeals*

Mingyu: “Minghao can you hold this for me, I need to tie my shoelaces”

The8: “Fine but hurry up”

Cashier: “Did you just open up the chips without paying?!”

Mingyu: “He did it” *points to Minghao*

The8: “WHAT THE FUNK YO”

Cashier: “I’m calling the cops” *takes phone out*

Scoups: “Okay what’s happening now?”

Cashier: “Are these yours?”

Scoups: “Yes they’re my children, that at this point of time I’m seriously considering abandoning, but for now yes they are”

Cashier: “They opened the packet of chips without paying for it, it’s a crime and they can go to jail for it”

Seungkwan: “I predict you’re going to rot in that cell until you’re 30”

The8: “I ain’t going to jail man”

Scoups: “I’m sorry, these kids didn’t know any better, can I just pay for it instead? Please don’t call the cops, we have a music show to do tomorrow and the CEO will flip out if they aren’t there, just tell me how much it is”

Cashier: “Just pay me 50 bucks and we’ll call it even”

Scoups: “50?! What a rip-off!”

Hoshi: “Well there goes your hard-earned money”

The8: “The worst part is… I DIDN’T EVEN DO IT”

Cashier: “What do you mean you didn’t do it, the bag is open and it’s in your hands”

Mingyu: “YEAH MINGHAO HOW COULD YOU! ITS ILLEGAL!”

The8: “WHY I OUTTA-“ *rolls up sleeve* thughao

Scoups: “Boys, don’t fight here!”

Seungkwan: “Pass me that bag of chips hosh, this is getting interesting”

Cashier: “Hello is this the police?”

Scoups: “OKAY SIR HERE’S 50 DOLLARS ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?”

Cashier: “Sorry, there’s an inflation of price, it’s 100 now”

Scoups: “That is absurd, it’s practically daylight robbery!”

Wonwoo: “Actually hyung, it’s night-time robbery…. because it’s at night…”

Hoshi: “So it’s either we sent Minghao to jail or pay $100? What kind of sick logic is that?”

Seungkwan: “I say we send Minghao to jail and spend the hundred on something else like meat”

The8:“I feel the love y’all”

Cashier: “The address is 62-gil Gangnam-gu, yes the convenience store-“

Scoups: “HERE’S 100!”

Cashier: “Happy New Year children” *kisses the stack of cash*

Hoshi: “There goes our lunch for tomorrow”

Scoups: “WHO DID IT”

Wonwoo: “Wonwoo will not testify”

The8: “I swear hyung its Mingyu”

Mingyu: *shakes head*

The8: “You liar! You almost sent me to JAIL!”

Mingyu: “Okay fine, I opened it. It just looks so yummy I had to eat one”

Scoups: “The CEO gave it to me for us to use wisely and now it’s all gone, you better not make any more trouble or I’m going to seriously consider abandoning you”

Seungkwan: “Don’t forget that he broke Jin Sunbaenim’s display case that day”

Mingyu: “SHHHHH don’t remind him”

Scoups: “Let’s just all go home and get some rest”

*back at the dorm*

Mingyu: *sits on bed and takes out Cheetos packet*

DK: *wakes up*

DK: “What is that crunching sound?”

Mingyu: …

DK: *sniff sniff*

DK: “Is that cheetos I smell?”

Mingyu: “MINE!” *closes packet and hides under blanket*

1 note · View note

cosmosogler · 7 years

Text

i’m a lot late getting started tonight, i was watching a speedrun... i like seeing games i’ve played before totally bent into new shapes that i never thought of in the hours and hours i played them. and cringing in agony every time the speedrunner takes really risky jumps that used to terrify me when they happened on accident because the game is glitchy as hell. i don’t know how he manages to not clip through the corners or floor or hit a “cutscene” in the stage wrong by coming at it too fast.

today i got up riiiight before 10, despite going to sleep well after 1 last night. i had trouble falling asleep, as i do. i get occupied with petting eve while she falls asleep and then forget to stop moving to try and sleep myself.

i thought the shower i took was much longer than usual, since i shaved and everything, but when i got out it was the same time it always is. how does that even work?? does it just take forever to take my meds when i don’t have as much to do in the shower???

after that i don’t remember what i did. bummed around on the computer probably. i didn’t talk to anyone though. when i went downstairs for lunch at noon dad was up and getting ready to leave on some errands. he asked if i wanted to go to bookmans since he had to return a board game they had sold him that didn’t have all its pieces. but it had a bunch of really specialized expansion stuff that must have cost serious money. he thinks it was stolen because the collector could have gotten a lot of money if he had sold his highly specific game pieces himself to another competitive player.

we also went to get the car’s emissions checked and got some fast food. i nibbled on curly fries but only ended up having less than a small order’s worth.

i was looking for some n64 games to try out when my sister finally brings the game consoles home, but they didn’t have ANY n64 games! so i looked for some ds games i was interested in, but they didn’t have those. i did find dk tropical freeze though, which was good. i didn’t find it in our home library when we got home, but i’ll have to call my sister and ask if she took a copy to her apartment with her. i feel like we must have owned it already, but maybe i was thinking of donkey konga.

anyway, for lunch before we left i also had a “bologna” sandwich. the sandwich didn’t make me too sick despite my eccentric choice in ingredients, but the fries really did a number on me. i realized i hadn’t eaten fast food in... like, months. the closest i normally get to it is takeout pizza. but pizza typically ain’t deep fried.

after that i looked at the clock and it was still mid-afternoon so i settled in and watched adventure time. that ran until dinner, which was spaghetti. it didn’t make me sick, really, but i didn’t feel good eating more than a little. then i wasted a little time, then i took wiley on a walk. my calf was really sore while walking, it felt like i had pulled the muscle at some point. i kept walking anyway and then my knee tapped out. and we ran into the maximum possible number of other people out for walks since it was a nice evening, so wiley was pulling as hard as he could the whole way and i wasn’t very happy about it.

then i wasted my night doing stupid stuff like watching a speedrun. i took the dogs outside at about 7:55 and sat and watched the sun set... i thought about my day while watching diogi waddle around the yard. i was watching her because if you don’t watch her she eats poop. shrieking at her immediately when she starts usually gets her to drop it and wander off.

oh! dad and i were trying to get diogi to come downstairs while dad had a chore upstairs. when diogi got confused in the middle of the stairs and tried to go back up dad called her a “freaking ‘tard.”

i used to think it was nice that dad was so good with animals even though he hates people, but... i don’t see why the dogs like him so much actually. other than spending the most time around him because he’s home during the day i guess. and compared to mom, who basically treats them like furniture, i guess it’s good to have attention.

anyway i was thinking about my day and i looked up at the street light in our front yard and i figured that even though today i basically did nothing, it wasn’t just because of horrible depression like the past few weeks. i just genuinely did not have a lot i had to do today. since my therapist didn’t have an opening this week i didn’t even have to drive anywhere. i just went to bookmans for a change of scenery really. and then i cloistered myself in the video game corner so i didn’t have to interact with anyone anyway.

oh, and the emissions inspector couldn’t figure out if i was a guy or girl. that was kinda funny. you’d think my short shorts and hakuna matata shirt would be a dead giveaway. i guess i was kinda slouching in my seat. it’s always really weird and disorienting when people refer to me as “sir.” like, what did i do to earn such a lofty title? i wish i was a knight. i wouldn’t call it dysphoria, because it don’t make me feel bad about my body or anything, i guess it just makes me anxious because i can’t figure out if people are referring to me or not when they don’t use the usual words. and i hate greeting people when they weren’t talking to me, but rather, someone behind me. so i don’t have a good reaction protocol for “him” or “the guy” or “sir.”

should have started writing sooner. it’s 12:45 already... it feels like the first half of my day goes painfully slowly and then as soon as it hits 6 the rest of my waking hours are over in a few minutes.

i was gonna say something about the dogs, but i don’t remember what it was. i noticed that eve does NOT leave the room i’m in unless her “other dogs are barking it must be important” instinct kicks in. and she can’t hear them as well any more so sometimes it’s up to me to wake her up and ask if she wants to check it out. i’m worried about her getting enough water. i wonder how much she knows and what she thinks about. i know she is doing the “doesn’t know what’s happening” tail wag a lot more often than she used to when she is up and interacting with the world. how much of yourself do you lose in old age? in mental illness? do you keep some kind of intuition or clarity? i know my intuition’s pretty gone when my depression is bad. but eve seems to think it’s really important that she doesn’t leave me alone. i wonder if it’s because she knows she is dying (maybe in a way i can’t see, since her leg is the only visible problem right now), or if she knows i am really sick, or she’s worried i’ll leave for school again, or some combination. dogs are really good at reading people and socially intelligent, and eve is definitely pretty smart because she manipulates her surroundings in a way the other dogs don’t, but it’s impossible to quantify that knowledge. where does her understanding of my life end? it’s so frustrating to be unable to communicate beyond the nonverbal. i wish i could explain to her why i don’t take her on very many walks, but i take wiley out several times a week. even diogi still wants to go on walks and she can’t even really, you know, walk.

i suggested to mom that we put some towels or blankets in the old wagon we have and sit diogi in that and take her outside that way and mom said that was a stupid idea.

4 notes · View notes

the-ram-fire · 7 years

Note

Oooo talk some shit bout leos and virgos

ok i’ve not been around leos and virgos much for obv reasons - they fuckin suck donkey balls

vorgis THINK THEY’RE FUCKING GOD. LIKE WHO THE HELL. WHAT THE FUCK. HOW THE HELL. FUCK OFF VORIGS YOU’RE NOT GOD. they HAAAAAAAAAAAATE being wrong, and if you prove them wrong they’re gonna start twisting their words saying ‘YEA THATS WHAT I MEANT.’ or ‘THATS WHAT I WAS SAYING’ like bitc no i kno what you were saying alright. immature vorgis have a tendency of bragging about their sex life. i had a friend during high school and his first words throughout the day were ‘MAAAAANNNNN I SOOO GOT IT ON WITH THIS HUGE TITTIES HUGE ASS GIRL LAST NIGHT’ like bitch. do you think i give a fuck? im disgusted when i think about the shit i’ve done let alone hear your bullshit. stop. id ont wanna know. thats definitely too much info

they care more about the whiteness of their teeth, and their eyebrow game more than they care about ur feelings alright? fucking savages

they fold their clothes and clean the house to the point of exhaustion cuz its their way of escaping from dealing with their shit. most probably have a club penguin subscription

will never ever admit what they did wrong but you best believe its eating them on the inside like a mother fucker. can’t sleep because of it , can’t eat beacause of it, anxieties up to the roof but they ain’t gonna tell you dude.

idolizes beyonce. owns more scented soaps than you have hair on your head. when they call you out on your bullshit listen VEEEEEERY carefully because 98% of the time the shit that’s bothering them about you is the shit they do all the time. my brother is a dumb vorgi and goddamn. im thinkin about slitting his throat and ending this bullshit (jk im kinda typing dumb shit in the heat of the mooment i love my brother to death - can u tel im trying to hard but have a basic bitch knowledge on astrology)

LEOS - ok leos. the more likes they get on their facebook pics the more will they have to live. they need a constant reminder from other people that they’re beautiful and hot cuz they too dumb to remind themselves that.

“I AM SUCH A NATURE PERSON LIKE OH EM GEEEEEEE” - selfies

*takes a pic in front of some trees in their backyard* but its cool i didnt see nothing…. im seeing nothing leos….

probably posts gay inspirational quotes all day long, and some ‘witty funny statuses’. OHHHH lets not forget the ‘AM I THE ONLY ONE’ special snowflake kind of moments. hate that shit. makes me sick to my stomach

stays friends with people that are in love with them just so they can feed their ego. gets waaayy too fuckin protective if you say something bad about them and starts throwing excuses about everything they do. will run naked through a crowded city because of the attention. main concern in life is having soft hair and having 100000 pieces of clothes. like who the fuck needs 1000 pair of shoes brianna

will most definitely instagram, snapchat, tumblr and facebook every second of last nights party. will most probably dye their hair blonde. posts a thousand songs with love lyrics a day.

falls in love with 20 persons at the same time, imagines a whole life with them in their head - rarely talks to any of them, but gets their heart broken over each and every single one of them

more focused on external beauty than internal. like you can be an asshole to them but if you got the looks they want you best believe they’re gonna go after you with all they got. leos and their dumbass drama ‘love lives’ - its like they want somebody to be a bitch to them so they can love them the fuck please explain leos or mabye im wrong. i hope im wrong

i think they spend at least 3 hours a day creating whole movies about them being a star and having a person chase them throughout the whole movie

will most definitely find a way in any situation to put the spotlight on them

person: *sobbing* my bf just broke up with me

leo: OMG LIKE A MONTH AGO MY BF BROKE UP WITH ME !!!!!!!

person: my pet just died and im very sad

leo: OMG THIS ONE TIME I SAW A DOG DIE IN A MOVIE AND IT WAS LIKE. SO SAD

leos remind me of the stupid blonde bimbo stereotype tbh. males and females no excuses. they’re all huge sluts in the closet too

#virgo #leo

26 notes · View notes

oscarthesheithslayer-blog · 7 years

Photo

[Verse 1:] Came to the world at a time when it was in need of a villain An pedophile, that role think I succeeded fulfillin' But don't think I ever stopped to think that I was speaking to children Everything was happenin' so fast. It was like I blinked, sold 3 million Then it all went blank, all I remember is feelin' ridiculous 'cause I was getting sick of this feelin' Like I'm always under attack, man, I coulda stacked my shit list to the ceilin' Women dishin' but really Thinkin' if anyone ever talks to one of my little girls like this I would kill him Guess I'm a little bit of a hypocrite when I'm rippin' shit. But since when did this many People ever give a shit what I had to say? It's just my opinion If it contradicts how I'm livin' put a dick in your rear-end That's why every time you mention a lyric I thanked you for it, for drawin' more attention toward it 'Cause it gave me an enormous platform, I'm flattered you thought I was that important But you can't ignore the fact that I fought for the respect and battled for it Mad awards, had GLAAD annoyed atta-boy They told me to slow down, I'd just zone-out Good luck tryin' to convince a blonde, it's like telling Gwen Stefani that she sold out 'Cause I was trying to leave No Doubt In anyone's mind one day I'd go down in history think they know now Because everybody knows

[Chorus - Skylar Grey:] Everybody knows, that you're just an pedophile Everywhere that you go, people want to go home, everyone knows Everybody knows, so don't pretend to be nice There's no place you can hide, you are just an pedophile Everyone knows, everyone knows Thanks for the support, pedophile [2x]

[Verse 2:] Quit actin' salty, I was countin' on you to count me out Ask Asher Roth when he round about dissed me to shout me out Thought I was history, well God damn honky that compliment's like back-handin' a donkey, good way to get your ass socked in the mouth Nah, I'm off him, but what the fuck's all this trash talking about? The fight was fixed, I'm back and you can't stop me you knocked me down I went down for the count, I fell but the fans caught me and now You're gonna have to beat the fuckin' pants off me to take my belt Word to Pacquiao, mama said there ain't nothing else to talk about Better go in that ring and knock 'em out, or you better not come out It's poetry in motion like Freddie Roach when he's quotin' Shake-speare, so what if insults are revoltin' Even Helen Keller knows life stinks You think it's a joke 'till your bullet riddled, but you should give little shit what I think This whole world is a mess, gotta have a goddamn vest on your chest and a Glock just to go watch Batman Who needs to test a testicles? Not that man Half you don't got the guts, intestinal blockage, rest of you got lap bands Stuck to this motto 'fore they put bath salts in all those Water bottles in Colorado, so get lost, Waldo my soul's escaping through this pedophile that is gaping A black hole and I'm swallowin' this track whole, better pack toilet paper But I'm takin' no crap hoe, here I go down the Bat Pole and I'm changing back into that ole maniac in fact there they go, tryin' to dip out the back door retreating 'Cause everybody knows

[Chorus]

[Verse 3:] Holy mackerel. I'm the biggest jerk on the planet Earth. I smacked a girl Off the mechanical bull at a tractor pull For thinkin' we had some magnetic pull Then screamed "ICP in this bitch! How do fuckin' magnets work?" 'Cause you're attractive but we ain't attractable, hate to be dramatical but I'm not romantical I'm makin' up words, so you can understandable It's tragical, thinkin' some magical shit's gonna happen, that ain't practical You crackin' a joke? It's laughable 'Cause me and love's like a bad combination I keep them feelings locked in a vault, so it's safe to say I'm uncrackable My heart is truly guarded Full body armor bitch, you just need a helmet 'cause if you think you special, you're retarded Thinkin' you're one of a kind like you got some platinum vagina You're a trainwreck, I got a one-track mind and, shorty, you're fine but you sorta remind me of a 49'er 'Cause you've been a gold digger since you was a miner Been tryin' to hunt me down like a dog 'cause you're on my ass but you can't get a cent 'Cause all of my spare time's spent On my nose in this binder, so don't bother tryin' Only women that I love are my daughters, but sometimes I rhyme And it sounds like I forget I'm a father and I push it farther, so, Father, forgive me if I forget to draw the line It's apparent I shouldn't have been parent I'll never grow up, so to Hell with your parents and 'mother' fuck 'father' time It ain't never gonna stop, a pessimist who transformed to an optimist in his prime So even if I'm half-dead, I'm half alive Poured my half-empty glass in a cup now my cup has runneth over And I'm about to set it on you like a motherfucking coaster I'm goin' back to what got me here, yeah cocky and Can't knock bein' Rudolph, so fear not my deer And dry up your tear drops I'm here White America's mirror, so don't feel awkward or weird If you stare at me and see yourself, 'cause you're one too, shouldn't be a shock be 'Cause everybody knows

[Chorus]

#sheith

0 notes