Lucifer: who the fuck took my demonus i just wanna talk
the brothers knowing that whoever did is fucking dead:
MC: it was me.
Lucifer: what.
MC: it was me.
Lucifer: why??? you literally can’t even get drunk off it????
MC: it tastes like capri sun and i miss it you whore
Lucifer: what the fuck is a capri sun
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Levi: Mc!!!! Mammon won't give me my money back
Mc: Mammon either give Levi his money back or stop asking him for money.
Later that day
Belphie: Mc, Lucifer won't stop sending me work that I don't have to do.
Mc: Lucifer!!! Stop bringing you extra work and you Belphie do your fair share!!!
A couple of hours later
Solomon: Mc! Asmo won't let me wear my wizard cape!
Mc: *sighing* Asmo let everyone dress the way they want to dress, ok?
A while later
Luke:*crying* Mc!! Beel has eaten the cake I had just made!!!!
Mc: Beel!!! What did we say about eating Luke's sweets without permission????
After all day resolving other people's conflicts
Mc: Can't you do anything on your own?!!!!
Barbatos: *standing next to Mc with a smile* ….
Mc: Barbatos?
Barbatos: Mc, the young master keeps touching my exclusive tea pots.
Mc: …
Mc: All of you do this on purpose, don't you?
Barbatos: ...
Mc: *sighs* Diavolo!!!!
.
.
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Simeon: MC, are you scared?
MC: Actually, years of trauma and fighting for my life against mental and physical abuse and isolation have pretty much burnt out my adrenaline response to situations like this and left me without the ability to feel normal reactions and emotions.
Simeon: Wh... What?
MC: I said "I'll be fine."
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⚠️ TGCF SPOILERS ⚠️
That lesbian pulp fiction cover but BeefLeaf
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MC: *chillin in Purgatory Hall after dealing with some of the brothers’ bs*
MC: *sigh* Guys are so dumb, promise me you’ll never be one when you grow up Luke.
Luke: *just tryin to decorate some cupcakes* I’ll..try?
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Plane things with peepaw luci✨
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the brothers: it’s obvious you have favorites, mc. ://
MC: what are you talking about?? i love all of you equally, mammon or nonmammon :)) <3
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Satan: *quietly entering Mc's room in the middle of the night*
Mc: *sleeping like a log while hugging a stuffed animal of their own size*
Satan: …
Satan: *with a murderous face picks up the stuffed animal and throws it angrily against the wall*
Mc: *frowning at the lack of the stuffed animal*
Satan: *crawling into their bed and taking the stuffed animal's place*
Mc: *hugging him and smiling*
Satan: *happy angry demon noises*
In the morning
Asmo finds Satan and Mc cuddling while sleeping peacefully in an adorable position.
Asmo: … *taking out his phone and taking a picture* I found Satan, Lucifer!!! He's in Mc's room again!!!!
.
.
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MC sneaks into everyone's bedrooms in the middle of the night and paints their horns homestuck candy corn colors for a fun April Fool's day surprise.
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Diavolo, going over [MC]'s resume: Okay, so right here, it states that you’re creative.
[MC]: Yes
Diavolo: Okay... may I know what you create
[MC]: Problems.
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Barbatos: *beating Solomon with a broom*
Thirteen: Um...whatcha doin'?
Barbatos: Cleaning.
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Mephistopheles: *acting rude to MC*
MC : Listen-
Mephistopheles: What?
MC : Acting like a dick won't make yours bigger
(Lucifer is proud of you)
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