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A new page of A Star below is live!
Jechin likes to think of himself as a hardass, but deep down he's really a softie.
After today's update we are going to be on hiatus for 6 weeks to build up a bit of a buffer. I've got some BTS and guest art lined up, so make sure to check back!
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hell, yeah ; roman roy ; part three (m).
pairing ; roman roy x f!reader
synopsis ; pain was an old friend for the both of you.
words ; 14.4k
themes ; fluff, angst, drama, slowburn, suggestive, childhood friends to lovers
warnings / includes ; depictions of mental and physical abuse, talks of sexual misconduct (cruises incidents), mentions of death, a lot of sexual/suicidal jokes and general foul language, a lot of business talk, roman’s implied demisexuality, kendall is Losing it this chappie, fucked up family dynamics, imaginary dead cats & real dead sisters <3
a/n ; tumblr is being a bitch and not letting me turn off beta editor so :) what was originally going to be one massive chapter of s3 is now going to be broken down in shorter pieces!
series masterlist. main masterlist.
“Logan Roy was personally and fully aware of the crimes committed aboard Brightstar Cruises,” said the news reporter. “Kendall Roy says his father paid millions of dollars to hide and cover up criminal activity at the cruise line.”
You shut the tablet off, pinching the space between your brows as you drew out a deep exhale.
“This is fucking insane,” Roman muttered under his breath as he scrolled through Twitter, under his brother’s trending hashtag. “He’s gone off the rocks.”
Leaning forward, you asked the twins, “You guys don’t think he’s telling the truth, right?”
Rome shot you a quizzical glance. “Kendall doesn’t know how to tell the truth. It’s against his biological nature.” After a moment, he let out a high-pitched, “But…”
“What?” asked Shiv.
“I may not be team Kenny here, but, uh… Dad isn’t exactly unsqueezable right now,” he said. His eyes met yours. “What are you thinking?”
“I’m wondering if Kendall just fucked us over. Again. I mean, obviously I didn’t want him to be the scapegoat for cruises but this is—this is just something else entirely.” Then you nudged Shiv. “What about you?”
The woman screwed her lips into a purse. “I’m thinking we just need to back Dad right now. But… what am I actually thinking?” She lowered her voice to a whisper you could only barely hear. “I’m thinking, ‘Is he toast?’”
Her brows pulled together, wondering if she should’ve divulged that information to either of you.
“Yeah,” you said, clearing your throat. “I think there might be a chance that he could be burnt.”
The three of you stood in silence. Roman closed the stupid bird app before he could see another edit of his brother to a Lana Del Rey song, and slid his phone into his pocket.
It was then that Hugo and Gerri strode up, expressions grim. A Kendall-shaped bomb was dropped on them, and they were all scrambling to get things together whilst Logan stared angrily out of a window.
“Hi. Listen, I’m drowning in calls,” said Hugo. “I just want to deny, you know, any kind of speculation. So, uh, I’m just checking—we’re all good if I say, for a starter, that he never hurt anyone and he never touched anyone personally?”
Roman scowled, as if it was a ludicrous question to even take into consideration, and Gerri answered on everybody’s behalf. “You can reassure on that, Hugo.”
A second later, Logan’s voice rang out from across the room. “Did you know?” he asked. “Connor? Roman? Shiv? Did you know?”
Apprehensive, the siblings crept closer to their father, who still had his back turned to them. You crossed your arms and listened on from behind Roman.
“Did you know he was going to do that?” he queried once they were all close by. “I was wondering.”
“Obviously not, dad,” Rome said.
A muscle in Logan’s jaw twitched. “Uh-huh.”
Roman scratched at the back of his head. “Kendall’s mentally ill. He’s insane.” He needs help, he wanted to say, but wisely bit down on his tongue before it could slip.
There was a long moment of silence. Shiv eyes darted from her father to her husband.
Finally, Logan turned to face his children. “Everyone. Gather up! Battle stations—let’s go.”
The small group rounded around a table with Logan at the very head. It was Gerri who started with a proposal, all heads turned to listen to her.
“I suggest I call the DOJ, and we right away let them know how horrified we were to learn of these allegations. We can tell them we intend to form a special committee and we can inform them which white shoe law firms we are considering to thoroughly investigate and promptly report back their findings,” said the woman.
Shiv watched her godmother with mild unease. She was a woman to look up to, she was competition, she was better than anyone else here, and she was an accomplice. Then, her eyes darted to you, your fingers silently drumming along the table’s surface. There was no doubt Logan would be forced to announce his successor soon. Would you be competition for the throne, as well? You’d certainly make for a formidable CEO.
“Do we cooperate?” asked Logan.
There was a brief moment of puzzled silence.
Gerri’s brows furrowed as she replied, “With the government? Uh, yeah. I think we’re gonna have to cooperate. I mean, we were under pressure already—”
“Unless we don’t,” Roman cut in.
“That’s ridiculous. Not cooperating would be like shining the fucking spotlight right onto us. This is a public company—we tanked privatization in Turkey,” you vehemently protested.
To that, Gerri agreed. “We don’t know what they have or what they might get. There’s only one real play here.”
“What if I don’t want to pull down my panties so fast?” grumbled Logan.
“Then we pull up the draw-bridge. The story would be that he’s exploiting these poor women—and that’s very sad. Twitter would tear him apart. You were grooming him for the top and, wow, would you look at that? He relapsed, and he blew it,” Roman said. Both you and Shiv exchanged worried, distasteful glances. “He’s a bitter fuck-up that needs to be psychiatrically evaluated. Of course, you’re the big baddie, so everybody jumped on board.”
Brows cinching, Shiv asked, “What about these papers he says he has?”
“Uh… fake. Or stolen, if they even exist. Are we even worried about these papers? We’ll go after him for corporate theft, then,” he spouted off. “This is—you know—not a nice thing to say about your son, but maybe chop him up into a million pieces and throw him into the Hudson?
You destroy Kendall, it falls apart.”
It was strange to think, just twenty-four hours ago, the two brothers were quite amicable with each other. As brotherly as people like them could be, at least. Now they were on opposite sides of the chessboard, waiting for the play.
Frank and Karl started listing off a couple stats, and Shiv sat forward in her seat.
“Kendall’s changed the game,” she said. “Noncooperation now, it wouldn’t—it’s just too hot out there. I think it’s very high risk.”
“Everything’s high risk if you’re a pussy,” Roman said, picking at his nails.
You frowned. “If we don’t cooperate, it’ll just make us look all the more guilty.”
And what if we are? The brief thought crossed your mind. What if everything Kendall said was true?
“If I stop picking at scabs and saying sorry, who knows where we’ll end up. Admissions of wrongdoing—that’s billions out the door,” Logan said.
His words made your expression falter just a little bit.
“Get the raisin,” your godfather told Hugo, referring to the American president. “Let’s go to the top.”
The planes heading back to New York were readied soon after. Just as you stepped out of the car that took you to the tarmac, your phone began to buzz in your pocket. To your relief, Roman was busy chattering to Gerri, and you were able to step away from the group to pull your phone out.
Kendall’s contact name stared right back up at you. You sucked at your teeth in thought, before swiftly answering.
“Hello?”
He sang your name then, in a pitch too high for his caliber.
“What do you want?”
“What do I want?” he parroted. “I want you in, Y/N. You’ve got a premium spot right by my side, in the new company I’m going to build. You’re the glue, dude. You are.”
A shifty glance back at Roman and Shiv, Logan and Gerri. You took a few steps closer to the plane.
“Is it true?”
“What?”
“What you said on TV. That Logan knew about cruises and paid it off.”
A brief pause.
“Obviously,” he said. “Obviously it’s true. I’d never lie to you, Y/N. You’re like—you’re like a sister to me, you know?”
“Have you called Shiv? Offered her a place, too? Roman?”
A longer silence.
“No,” he finally said.
It was a lie, you knew it clear as day. But you didn’t know exactly which part of it was a lie.
“I can’t trust you,” you murmured into the phone, shifting the device in your palms. Roman’s eyes were now on you. He waved, and you waved back, shooting him a thumbs up when he gestured to the plane. “You understand that, right? I can’t trust you, as much as I want to.”
Before he could respond, you abruptly hung up, and quickly shoved your phone back into your pocket to jog to the rest of the group.
“Who were you talking to?” Roman asked once you caught up with him, mildly suspicious.
“Karolina,” you quickly lied. “She wanted to know what the play was.”
“Mmh. Right.” He nudged his shoulder into yours. “We’ll be okay.”
“I’m not so sure.”
Roman’s eyes searched yours, but you averted them when his dad approached the group. His sunglasses were perched high on the bridge of his nose—you could see your worried reflection in them. He asked for a lawyer: a good one, preferably a woman.
Lisa came to mind, one of the most reputable lawyers in the country, conveniently a friend of Shiv’s.
“Shiv, Roman, Gerri, Y/N—you’ll all go back to manage New York,” said your godfather. “No need for me to go running back like a slapped girl. Looks weak.”
Pursing your lips, you offered him a nod. “We’ll take care of it.”
“Good,” he said, patting your cheek affectionately. Once, then twice, then his hand fell back down to his side. He used to do that when you were a young child, sporting pigtails and scraped knees. “Good.”
Then, he ruffled Roman’s hair. “Fuck off down there, Tumbledown Dick.”
And with that, the two of you, along with Shiv and Gerri, boarded the plane.
“As I step back temporarily…” began Logan, surveying Karl, Frank, Hugo, and Tom in front of him, “who do we like as CEO?”
They stared at him blankly.
“I don’t give a fuck,” Logan huffed in exasperation. “It’s name plates. Come on! Brain dump. Speak, and let a hundred flowers bloom.”
Unsurprisingly, Frank and Karl didn’t hesitate to offer themselves up first. Tom watched the older men apprehensively. The two were quick to be pushed to the side, and Logan snapped his fingers.
“Who else?”
“I mean, I imagine you’re looking at a kid. Or Gerri,” said Frank.
“Yeah. Yes. I’d like a kid, obviously. So—Shiv or Roman. But we’d love a woman. So, Shiv or Gerri. But I’d like experience. Which would be Roman or Gerri.”
Leaning forward in his seat, Hugo cleared his throat. “Well, there’s one obvious person who’s got all three of those. Y/N, she’s young, she’s a woman, and she’s experienced. A perfect candidate.”
Silence stretched thin between the men. Logan tilted his head in thought. Tom quietly excused himself to run to the bathroom.
On the plane heading to New York, Shiv’s phone began to ring, and she excused herself to the back where neither you, Roman, or Gerri could hear her. Gerri pushed her glasses further up her nose as she studied a text message on her phone. Silent, she gestured to the two of you to take a look.
A message from Frank. They were picking a new CEO, right then and there.
When Shiv came back quiet as a mouse, Roman started up a bitchy catfight with his sister for not sharing with the group.
“How come Frank called you and how come you told them?” Shiv asked her godmother.
Gerri shrugged. “I’m just a very straightforward person, Shiv.”
“What’d you hear?”
She glanced at her phone once more. “Just that there’s a number of names in contention.”
“All of us, probably,” you said with a mild grimace.
Roman slung his arm over your shoulders, jostling you ever so slightly. “Care to make it interesting? Throw a bit of money on the table?”
“I’m already pretty fuckin’ interested,” Shiv replied, nose wrinkling. “I think I’m good.” With that, she turned to her side to look out the window.
Drawing in a shallow breath, you loosely intertwined your hand with Roman’s. “You think you’d be ready to take on the mantle if you got the job?” you quietly asked him.
“Fuck, yeah. It should be me, right? I’m the most logical option.”
You stared at him for a moment, wondering how much of what he’d just said was utter bullshit.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Like what?”
Roman tapped your nose twice and you fixed him with an exasperated look. “Like you don’t agree with me. But you do, right?”
“I don’t know, Ro. I don’t think what Kendall pulled means you should suddenly be crowned king,” you muttered. “I don’t think any of us should.”
When you eventually passed out beside Roman, your legs thrown over his, he waved a hand in front of your face, just making sure you were actually asleep. As gently as he could, Roman slid away from your legs to get up and set them back down on his seat. He bent at the waist to kiss your forehead and you murmured something in your sleep, but thankfully didn’t stir anymore than that.
He made a bee-line for the plane’s bathroom, locking the door behind him.
Then, he called his father.
“Oh, Romulus,” Logan’s voice buzzed through once he answered after the second ring.
“Hiya, Dad. Can I just—can I speak to you for a moment? You free?”
“Sure.”
Roman leaned his weight against the sink. “Well, um, it’s already getting out what you’re thinking about so… I just wanted to throw a couple things in the ol’ lobster pot.”
“Mhm.”
Squinting at his warped reflection, Roman said, “I think it should be me. It’s my time. I can do it, I want it, and I think I can pull it off.”
A long silence.
Roman scratched at the back of his head, a bout of nerves suddenly scratching within his chest. “Uhm, yeah, I think it should be me. But… if you don’t think I’m ready, which, uh, totally valid, I would completely understand, and I’m not saying I’d agree with that, but, you know—maybe it could be Y/N. She’s… she’s a good, fresh face for the company. She’s good at this shit. All the corporate managing shit. And if—if she doesn’t work, Gerri is a prime contender, too. A couple years under her, then maybe… maybe it could be me.” He cleared his throat and drummed his fingers along the faucet. “And, listen, I know you’ve been sweet on Shiv. I love her like a brother, seriously, but I just don’t think that it’s time for her, you know? For whatever reason it ain’t Romey time, then, uh… maybe it’s crony time.”
He winced.
“Mmhm,” was all Logan said.
“I hope I haven’t, uh, overstepped here.”
On the other end of the line, Logan smiled. “Nope. Thank you, son.”
“Okay. Alright. I’d love it, but, uh, you know, I’d understand if—I do want it, though. No hard feelings if, uh…” He was rambling. Logan never liked it when he did that. One time when he was thirteen, Logan gripped his cheeks so tightly that it ached and snarled out a warning that if he heard another uhm come out of him, he’d toss him to the fucking wolves. Good times. “Yeah. Love you, Dad. Bye.”
“Uh-uh,” Logan said, and hung up first. He locked eyes with Frank. “Roman’s out.”
When the plane landed, Shiv got a call from Logan.
“What?” asked Roman. “What’d he say?”
“He wants me to go get Lisa to be his lawyer,” she said. “He told me to tell you guys to wait airport adjacent, though. He might need someone to fly to Boston for investors.”
You frowned. “Fuck. I thought I’d be able to go home for a bit.”
Shiv arched a brow. “You’re more than welcome to. But, you know, Dad wouldn’t like that very much.”
That kept the rest of your complaints quiet.
Once the four of you disembarked the plane, Shiv took a car to head after Lisa, and the three of you were taken to a fancy hotel nearby.
Gerri got her own room right beside yours, and she told you to shoot her a message if anything of importance came up. You gave her a half-hearted smile and a nod. You were rooting for her, really.
Roman took a step in the direction of your room despite having his own across the hall, shooting Gerri a smirk and a salute before she could make her way in. “If you hear the bed rocking through the walls, that’s us having wild, passionate sex. Feel free to drop in if you want.”
Rolling her eyes, Gerri shut the door in Roman’s face.
The hotel was large and spacious, and you were quick to shed your outer layers, sinking onto the bed with a groan.
“I miss home,” you said when Roman kicked off his shoes and loosened his tie. “I’ve been held hostage in a different country and then stuck on a fucking yacht with the most dysfunctional family for way too long. I wanna go home.”
He laid down beside you. He couldn’t really understand how you were feeling. His house was mostly empty and lacked any true life. It didn’t actually feel like his home.
“Yeah, I’m fucking exhausted.” he said nonetheless. Then he tugged you closer and pressed his nose against the side of your head. “But I’m not too tired, if you catch my drift.”
“I’m not having sex with you in a random hotel with Gerri next door,” you deadpanned, though there was a slight laugh to your voice.
Roman snapped his fingers. “Would you prefer to have her here, watching? You little sicko.”
Finally, you laughed, and shoved him away. “I’m tired, Ro. I’m gonna go take a shower and knock out.”
“Hm. Can I join?”
“You tell me,” you said, knowing that Roman wasn’t ready for that just yet.
The two of you stared at each other for a few seconds. Roman shrugged. “I’ll be here if you need me.”
You kissed his cheek quickly, before pushing off of the bed.
A steamy shower later, you stepped out of the bathroom in the comfier clothes you made sure to pack. Roman sidled past you to wash himself up next, but not without pinching your side on the way. He shut the door and locked it before you could retaliate.
You waited until you heard the spray of the shower start up.
Only then did you grab your phone, dialing Logan’s number. You hoped he was still awake.
To your relief, he picked up after the third ring.
“Hi, Uncle Logan.”
“Hello, dear. You and Romulus are doing well in the hotel, I hope?”
You sat down on the edge of the bed. “Yeah! Yes, he’s just in the shower right now. So, I just wanted to clarify some things.”
“Go on.”
It felt as if there was a heavy weight on your chest. “I just… I know that you’re in the middle of picking a new CEO, and I know I probably look like a pretty good option to get the company out of hot water right now. But…” You exhaled softly. “I love you, Uncle Logan, but I don’t love this company. And I—I just don’t want to be the face of it.”
You drew your knees up to your abdomen and wrapped an arm around them.
“Mhm,” Logan said.
“I hope that doesn’t, uh, hinder your perception of me in any way, but… yeah. I don’t want it. I’m perfectly happy with the job I have now. And—if you ask me, I think Gerri is the best person for this role.”
“Hm. Thank you, Y/N. I appreciate your honesty.”
Well… that was certainly a better response than you anticipated. You half-expected him to get angry and cuss you out.
You bit down on the inside of your cheek. Did you do the right thing?
“Bye, Uncle Logan.”
“Sleep well.”
With that, the call ended.
Five minutes later, you got a text message from Gerri. Two words, and that was it.
It’s me, it said.
Another one pinged through a minute later.
Shiv blew it with Lisa.
Your brows raised. Roman was certainly going to have a field day once you told him.
You shot her a reply.
Congrats, Gerri. I’m glad it’s you.
The next day, Shiv was nowhere to be seen. She wasn’t answering her phone, and she’d turned off her location. Logan was beyond furious, yelling through the phone at both you and Roman to keep a watchful eye on Gerri and to try and find Shiv. Once the call ended, the two of you gave each other meaningful glances. There was only one place Shiv would go after she felt slighted.
She’d gone to confront Kendall. Maybe to scope out what he was doing for Logan. Or maybe just for herself. You didn’t quite know her motif just yet.
“So… we’re going to Kendall?” Roman asked you.
“That’s where she’d be,” you replied. “But let’s not… tell your dad yet.”
“Sounds good with me,” he snorted. “He’d have a fucking heart attack.”
Before the two of you got into the car, Roman mumbled something about not wanting to turn up empty-handed, and bought a box of a dozen fresh cinnamon rolls from the airport.
The drive there was quiet and tense. Roman began anxiously drumming his fingers on the car seat, then moved to doing it on your thigh and you didn’t bother stopping him. You pulled out your phone and shot Shiv a text, though you were nearly certain she wasn’t going to answer.
Everyone’s looking for you. I hope you know what you’re doing.
Once you got to Kendall’s base—which was just his ex-wife Rava’s house, because he had nowhere else to set up—Jess was the one to greet the two of you on the lower levels.
“Kendall’s a bit busy at the moment, but he’s told me to just send the two of you up.”
“Thanks, Jess,” you told her, not unkindly. Sometimes you felt bad for the woman. She was bright and intelligent and a hard-worker, and it was clear that she had so much potential. It was a shame she was glued to Kendall’s side.
An elevator ride later, the two of you stepped into Rava’s living room. And, to none of your surprise, Shiv was right there on one of the clean grey couches.
“Oh, wow. Lookie, lookie. Alright, okay,” deadpanned Roman. “How come you’re not answering your phone?”
Shiv lifted one of her shoulders nonchalantly. “I’ve had it off. No agenda.”
“Right. No agenda.”
“How is he?” she asked.
“Fine. Worried about you,” you said. You took a seat on the couch across from her and Roman took to wandering around, touching just about every single piece of decoration he came across.
The red-head narrowed her eyes at you. “So, uh, how are you feeling about Gerri as CEO?”
“Great. I think she was the best choice.”
“Uh-huh. And you didn’t want it for yourself?”
“No.” There was no hesitation to your answer.
“Right.” Shiv laughed as if she didn’t believe you. “Of course you didn’t.”
Roman’s lips twitched as he leaned against the backrest of the couch, leering over his sister. “What’s your fucking game? What are you even doing here?”
“Why? What are you guys doing here?” she shot back.
“Here looking for you,” said Rome.
“Sure.”
Rolling his eyes, Roman haughtily said, “As far as you know, that’s the fucking truth.”
Before anyone could say anything else, there were echoing footsteps down the hall, and Kendall appeared, a silly smile plastered across his face.
“Here he comes,” said Roman. “The attention whore.”
“Hey, Rome. Y/N.” He stood in front of his brother, glancing back and forth between you and him. “How are you guys doing?”
Tilting his head, Roman replied, “Great. Thanks for asking. It’s just been a really—great few days. You know, being a hostage held at gunpoint, and then my brother decided to fuck the family company over on a whim. It’s been great. How about you?”
“I’ve been good!” said Kendall, propping his hands up on his hips. “Certain amount of regret, but you know—pretty cleansed.”
It took all you had in you not to heave out a grand sigh. “Cleansed,” you mumbled. “You could’ve just gone on a spa retreat for that. Didn’t have to pull all this shit. I think a clay mask would do you good.”
Kendall shot you a mildly amused look. “I needed to do this. And yeah—I still meant every word of what I said to you.”
You frowned. He was clearly alluding to the phone call where he was offering you a spot with him. “Right. Oh, and, uh—Ro brought you those cinnamon rolls from the airport.”
“That’s so sweet. That’s kind. Thanks, Rome,” said Kendall, glancing at the blue little box on the table.
“Shut up. Just eat ‘em or don’t,” Roman said, standing behind the couch and patting your shoulders. You reached over and rubbed his hand.
Finally, Kendall rubbed his palms together and addressed all three of you. “Look, guys, can we start on a clean slate? You didn’t like how I handled things with Dad. Sure. Whatever, I’m sorry. But that’s for me and him. Here’s the thing… he’s over, so let’s work together to take the company over and help him move on out.”
Roman wrinkled his nose. “Uhm… well, I’m just here to spy on Shiv, so—”
“And I’m just here to get you to back down,” Shiv told her older brother.
The four of you fell silent when a group of Kendall’s busy worker-bees crowded into the living room, holding stacks of files and papers and binders.
Shiv blew out a sigh. “I’m sorry, I’m trying to tell you how much of an asshole you are, but can we do it somewhere we don’t have to fold in Rava’s dog-walker?”
“Yeah. Sorry, yeah. Follow me. Uh—we can go into her room. Sophie’s room.”
Roman helped you up off the couch and snorted, “I’m surprised he remembered his kid’s name. Uh, which one was she? Right! Sophie. Or was it Sophia?”
The two of you snickered under your breath, and filed into the room behind Kendall and Shiv.
“Don’t touch any of her shit,” said the oldest out of the four.
Of course, Roman reached out and brushed his hand along all the little toys and trinkets lining her desk and drawers. You were the last in the room, and you didn’t even get the chance to reach out and shut the door behind you before Kendall was rubbing his hands together.
“Okay. So… uh, it’s pretty simple, really. Let’s gang up on dad and take him down.”
“Well, fuck. At least wait until the door’s closed,” you said, just before kicking it shut. Patting Roman’s shoulder, you took a seat near the foot of Sophie’s bed while Shiv made her way to the very top.
Kendall grinned sheepishly, though you could see the apprehension in his eyes.
“Why didn’t you come to us before?” Shiv asked. “Because look—it’s a real fucking mess now.”
You thought back to the yacht. How Kendall was offered up as the sacrificial lamb, unexpectedly. Of course he’d have no time to confer with any of you.
The grin on his face seemed to taper away. “It came together in my head a bit late. And, you know—I mean, I knew what I was gonna do, but…”
Roman’s brows furrowed. “That was spontaneous?”
“Well, I spoke with a lawyer—”
“Oh, wow! He spoke with a lawyer?” Roman parroted in a mocking tone.
“But they advised against it. I don’t wanna rehash it all but—I was effectively acting alone.”
The words made Roman roll his eyes so far into the back of his head it was a wonder he couldn’t see his brain. “Right. A spontaneous, heartfelt out-pouring of thoroughly lawyered emotion.”
“You guys can think whatever you want, in the end, of me. My offer still stands.” His eyes were on Shiv, then on you.
You drummed your nails against Sophie’s soft blanket. “Kendall… you can’t just expect us to drop everything and trust you blindly. Do you understand how much we’d be risking? You have to give us something to work with here.”
Scoffing, Shiv said, “I don’t know about you guys, but I’m here to get him to back down.”
“On Dad’s behalf,” Roman added. Was it a question or a statement?
Kendall nodded twice. “Right. Uh-huh. So if I say that I won’t back down and I’m not interested in negotiating any deals, you’d just call him and tell him to take a hike?”
Before anybody could say anything else, there was a knock at the door, and Jess’ head popped through.
“He’s here,” said Jess.
“What? Who?” asked Roman.
“Con. Yeah, send him in,” Kendall said. The grin was back on his face.
Roman laughed under his breath. “Right. Thought I heard a clown car pulling up.”
“Ideally I’d like to make a media appearance. All of us,” Kendall told the three of you.
Immediately, he was met with noises of protest and sour faces.
“Sweet,” Roman droned. “Are we gonna be wearing costumes that you have designed, asshole?”
“Yeah. That’s not happening,” Shiv chimed.
More hesitantly, you added on, “That sounds like an awful idea, Kendall. No offense.”
The door opened again, and Connor came in with a wide smile. He greeted Kendall with a hug, then swung his gaze to the rest of you.
“Pop’s looking for you guys, you know,” he said. He sat down beside you and rubbed your shoulder comfortingly. “You okay? You look tired.”
“Could be better, Con. Could be better.” You spared him a half-hearted smile, then shrugged.
Shiv leaned back against the headboard. “We’re here on his behalf.”
Connor laughed, and sent his half-sister an amused glance. “Oh, sure, honey. Me too. All about Dad. That’s why we’re all here.”
Bored, Roman began wandering around the room, glancing and poking around in Sophie’s walk-in closet. He pulled out a frilly pink t-shirt and held it up to his chest. “You think this color suits me?”
“Put that back,” Kendall admonished dismissively, but didn’t bother to take it away from him. Instead, he continued right on with the topic of conversation, taking a seat on an ottoman. “Okay, can we just—can we turn off the devices and get into this? If this shit was just epiphenomenal, maybe it could be ridden out. But these incidents are symptomatic of a foundational sickness within our father and this company.”
Roman snorted. “Hmm, don’t he use that tongue prettier than a twenty-dollar whore?”
Chuckling, Shiv tilted her head. “So what’s your point?”
“My point is… the milk is going sour. You know, the great whites from politics to culture, they’re rolling off the stage. It’s our time.”
“You mean us?” Roman asked, giggling. “The multi-fucking-ethnic transgender alliance of twenty-something year-olds we got here?”
You shot the man an incredulous look. “Kendall, you’re a rich, middle-aged white man. I’m sorry if your image doesn’t exactly scream woke extravaganza.”
He waved the two of you away. “Okay, listen. Big picture, we’re at the end of the long American century. Our company is a declining empire inside of a declining empire. People are killing themselves with guns or dope so fast that we’re losing pace. We’re, uh, we’re fat-fingered fucks and we can only live on cream. US supremacy is waning—”
“Why is that a bad thing?” you cut in, nose wrinkling.
Kendall held his hand out, as if to gesture at you to keep quiet. “What I think is, within that context, we can become omni-national and reposition. Because actually, we’re not tied to anything culturally or physically. So, we’re actually in a great position to leapfrog tech. Information is going to be more precious than water. Combine all our news operations, and become the global news information hub.”
You winced. It was a bad idea. A terrible idea. It reminded you of the Pierce acquisition but just… a hundred times worse. And what the hell does omni-national even mean?
“Amazon is twenty years old, and Gates is an old geezer. Detoxify our brand, and we can go supersonic.”
Silence. Utter silence.
You and Roman stared at each other, as if trying to reassure each other how bullshit everything he was saying sounded.
“What do you say?” Kendall asked. “Are we interested?”
Roman hummed. “Mmh. There’s just something about betraying our father that doesn’t sit well with me.”
“He’s a central player in a rotten cabal that has basically eaten the heart out of American democracy—”
“Rotten Cabal is a good name for a band,” Roman chimed.
“Dad’s not on trial for that, though, Ken,” said Shiv.
Hotly, Kendall defended, “Maybe he should be.”
“If he didn’t do it, it would’ve been someone else making the same dollar off the same shit,” said Roman.
Leaning his weight onto his knees, Kendall turned to look back at his brother. “Yeah, maybe. Maybe we’re all irrelevant. Maybe there’s always going to be death camps and maybe the planet is going to fry, and there’s nothing we can do. Or maybe… maybe people make a difference. I don’t know. Do you think human beings matter, Rome?”
The conflict danced across Roman’s eyes clear as day. It disappeared quickly once he crossed his arms and said, “I’m just gonna say it now—I’m a spy and I’m gonna go back and tell him everything. I’m with Dad, so… fuck you.”
Kendall frowned. “Fine. Fine. I actually don’t give a fuck. I can perfectly well do this alone. I’m actually just trying to be open-hearted and invite you in here. I mean, it’d actually probably be simpler to go alone, but I want to offer you guys a fucking ticket to the escape pod.”
“Nice fucking guy, huh?” Rome chortled.
Finally, the ball dropped. “You’re happy he went over your head and put in Gerri?”
Roman’s expression fell. You knew he’d wanted the job. “I think Gerri is a good choice.” Shiv laughed, and Roman defensively spat out, “What?”
“Defend Dad all you want, but Gerri can look after herself.”
“Yeah, I know that, I’m not defending Gerri, I just—”
Shiv sat up straighter. “You can’t hide under the covers with Mommy.”
Roman shifted back a step. “Oh, fuck off, Siobhan.”
“No, no, let’s talk about it. You always need someone to hold your fucking hand. You use Gerri as protection, and then you run off to Y/N every time something just barely inconveniences you. You just love showing your pee-pee to everyone but someday, you know, you’re actually gonna have to fuck something.”
His nose twitched. “Fuck you. Bitch.” With that, he made his way to the door and stormed out of the room.
You and Connor both called after him, but he was already gone.
“Okay… that was… that was low, Shiv,” said Con, frowning.
“That was an overreaction!” she exclaimed.
Huffing, Connor shook his head. “Can we just try to keep things nice? Yeah?” He patted your shoulder again. “I’ll go check on him.”
“It’s not my fault he’s got a sex thing,” Shiv laughed. “Was I too harsh?”
“You kidding? He loves it. He’s probably out there jerking off, wearing my ex-wife’s panties.”
You buried your face in your hands, pulling exasperatedly. “You guys are fucking assholes. You’re fucking two-faced, Shiv, and Kendall, you’re just… you’re just using us. Fuck. “Media appearance”? Give me a fucking break.”
With that, you stood up from the bed and made your way out of the room. Worry scratched away at your chest for Roman. You stepped into the living room, expecting to see him lingering around there, but you heard Connor’s voice echoing down the hall. He was standing in front of the closed bathroom door, a hand on the gilded doorknob, the other rapping against the wood lightly.
“Rome?” he asked. “You okay?”
“Go away,” his muffled voice replied from the other side.
You stepped forward, right next to Connor. “Hey, Romeo?”
There was a pause. Then the door swung open.
“Hi,” you said, mustering up a tired grin.
“Hi,” he said. Roman tried his best to mirror your smile, but failed miserably.
“You okay, Rome?” Connor asked again.
He shrugged, scratching at the back of his head. “Yeah, I’m fine. I just needed to piss. Am I not allowed to do that?”
Finally, you ambled another step forward and enveloped Roman into a tight hug. “What Shiv said isn’t true, you know. I’m the one that ran to you this time.”
Roman mumbled something into your shoulder, but you didn’t quite catch it. Maybe it was an off-handed thanks. At least, that’s what you hoped he said.
Connor smiled at the two of you with a huff, clapping a hand on each of your shoulders. “Maybe it’s time to head back. I don’t think we’re done discussing things. Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
With that, you let go of Roman and nudged him back in the direction of Sophie’s bedroom.
As soon as he made his way back in, Shiv met his gaze with a half-beam, half-grimace etched across her features. “Sorry,” she said. She didn’t really sound all that sorry.
“For what? I went to the bathroom,” Roman dismissively replied. “I don’t give a shit. You whore.”
Shiv smiled, and he grinned back. Haughtily, he snatched up your hand and crowded you into sitting down on the loveseat with him. He swung a leg up to throw over your thighs and you traced aimless circles along his shin.
“Here’s how I see this,” Kendall started up, “Dad is complicated. But he did, or he let, bad stuff happen. Yeah? And now it’s a part of us and our sickness, and we have to take responsibility because we knew. This is our chance to pay our dues and wash our hands for absolution.
You narrowed your eyes. Knew?
Thinking along the same lines as you, Shiv snorted out a derisive sound. “Okay, well… I didn’t know.”
“Sure, whatever, but—yeah, you did,” Kendall said.
“No, obviously we didn’t know,” Shiv exclaimed. “Did you guys know?”
“No,” you were quick to say. “What kind of question is that?”
Roman leaned further back into the seat. “No, we didn’t know.”
Incredulous, Kendall rounded his gaze onto the two of you. “The fucking pipeline of sad dancers who got used and abused and promised some Hollywood bullshit? We all fucking knew.”
Brows cinching together, Roman acquiesced by saying, “Yeah, well, I kinda knew about… you know, that there was some—but I didn’t know about any of the actual fucking… the fucking shit that went down. I really didn’t.”
“Come on, guys,” Connor said. “We knew.”
“Maybe you guys did,” you protested. “But I didn’t fucking know. I was a kid! We were kids!”
“But we still fucking knew! Okay? And I—I don’t like all this fucking bullshit!” Kendall propped his hands on his hips, staring down at his siblings.
“What did we fucking know?” Roman asked.
“Yeah!”
Leaning closer to his sister, Connor said, “Listen, I’m obviously not saying that you guys are responsible. But, come on. The guys, Dad, Mo—the wolf pack.”
“We knew,” Kendall parroted. “All those jokes and the weird vibes to the women and to the grubby fat-asses who took the cruises. The blind eyes and the pay-offs and the hush-hush about Dad’s pals or foreign workers who got crushed like—like meat in a fucking grinder with zero training! And, you know, no, it wasn’t our fault. And if you want to pretend that your shit doesn’t stink, be my guest, but we fucking knew.”
Solemn, Connor nodded. “We knew what those guys in Dad’s study were laughing about.”
Hotly, you said, “How many times do I have to say it? I didn’t know that the dancers were being sexually harassed! That—that fucking workers were being grilled under terrible work conditions! And I sure as hell didn’t know anything about these million-dollar pay-offs you love to parade around without actually showing us.”
Shiv drew in a breath. “We didn’t know what they were laughing about.”
“Don’t get in the pool with Mo?” Connor asked. “Remember that?”
“Well, yeah, that just sounds like fucking common sense,” you replied. “It was all so… grey. There were so many rumors. I just—I didn’t know if what Mo did actually happened or just a part of a huge fucking joke.”
“Yeah. And I didn’t get in the pool with any of those creeps,” said Shiv.
Kendall nodded, “Yeah, because he let those creeps run cruises.”
“No, Kendall, because I was fifteen!” Shiv finally asserted. “Y/N said it before—we were kids! Y/N was barely fourteen! We were hardly ever around them, and when we were, they were talking about shit we didn’t understand, and we didn’t want to understand. Because we were teenagers, and they were creepy old men that constantly told us about how mature we were for our age. Obviously we didn’t know what they were talking about, because we didn’t even want to know.”
Waving his sister’s words away, Kendall stressed, “Well, you know now, right?”
“Of course I fucking know now, that’s why we’re here in the first place!” Shiv yelled.
A beat of silence.
Kendall’s shoulders squared. “This is all a sidebar. Okay? All I’m asking is for us to move forward from a position of truth.”
“Are we excluded from this kingdom of heaven unless we accept the one true truth?” Shiv asked.
His phone dinged with a text message, and Kendall reached down to pull it out of his pocket. His kids were here.
“Look, I just wanna go hug my kids. Okay? I’ll be right back.” He started back out, making his way to the door. “We don’t even need to get into this. This is just sideshit.”
Once he was gone, Roman’s hand rested against the side of your face, gently pulling your head down to rest against his shoulder.
“We were kids,” you mumbled tiredly. Blurry memories of leering, smoking men and jaunty laughter crossed your mind. “How could I have known?”
Roman hummed, but he said nothing more.
“So… where are we at?” Shiv asked. Her question seemed to be directed at anyone in particular, but her eyes were on you.
“I don’t know. I don’t trust him. He clearly doesn’t trust us,” you said, pursing your lips.
Roman nodded. “We’re just hearing him out—then we report. It’s simple, Siobhan.”
“Right. Yeah. We gotta protect Dad… because if we knifed him now, he’d just bleed out, so…”
Roman reared his head back. “Hm. I don’t know about that.”
“Well, it’s just true. It’s a statement of fact.”
“Is it, though?” Roman wrinkled his nose. “It’s not necessarily true. This is Dad. He’s like fucking—fucking Moby Dick. He could take us all down with his back riddled with harpoons.”
Scoffing, Shiv arched a brow. “Yeah? You think he can take on all of us? If we back Ken, he’s toast. I’m not saying we should do it—we just need to decide what the fuck we’re gonna do because this is our moment.”
Finally, Roman’s features softened. He gave you a nudge. “What do you think?”
You bit down on the inside of your cheek. “If all of us back Kendall, that’d spook Karl and Frank onto our side. Gerri, maybe. The board… they’ll be split at first, but I think most of them would be swayed with enough convincing. I don’t know. It’s hard to gauge.”
“It’s very hard to imagine him surviving if we allied,” Connor agreed.
“Yeah. Sure, it’s his board, but it’s a lot of fresh blood. A lot of fear. I think if we pulled a pin today, and tomorrow, we got a spooked board. We could win.”
Tilting your head, you asked her, “I’m confused, do you or do you not want to back Kendall?”
“Depends.”
“On what?”
“On you guys!”
Roman shook his head. “My only concern with stabbing Dad in the back—it might actually kill him.”
You thought back to how scared and worried the two of you were when Logan was in the hospital. Certainly not something you wanted to relive.
It was then that the door opened once again, and Kendall stepped in. “So—where are we?”
“Okay. Let’s say you win, and take Dad out. I don’t see us coming through in the proxy battle. Shareholders don’t like confusion—they’ll pull out the moment they realize the condom ripped. How does the family stay in control?” Shiv asked.
“We give Dad the revolver, show him to the office, proxy battle is over,” Kendall stated matter-of-factly. “Sandy and Stewy will back down. I’ve spoken with them.”
“Busy fucking bee,” Roman snorted.
Bobbing his head, Kendall said, “If Dad went fast enough, we’d have a settlement. Look, guys, I don’t know what I think about Dad. Uh… I love him, I hate him—I’ll outsource it to my therapist. But he was going to send me to jail, you know. He’d do the same to you, Rome. Con. Shiv, I don’t know. Maybe. Don’t you guys see that? Y/N—he’ll… he’ll fucking throw you to the sharks if he needed to. I mean, how many years have you been scurrying around doing all of the yardwork for him?”
You met Kendall’s intense gaze, but you remained silent.
It was Roman who spoke instead: “Well, what would the shape of this new fucking reality be, anyway? Us leapfrogging Amazon?”
“Oh, yeah. We’re looking at 323 BC, naturally. Alexander’s dead. I take Asia, Rome takes Egypt, Shiv takes Europe, Y/N has the Americas, North and South. Con—the rest of the world.”
Connor smiled. “Thanks.”
“Separate divisions. I could oversee us as CEO on paper as we shift to these spheres of influence and evaluate what the core is. We move forward—”
A migraine began to pulse in Roman’s temple and he rubbed his head gingerly. “You’re overseeing us?”
A second of silence. “I’d offer my leadership initially as a—as a necessary part of a transformation process, yes.”
“You’d do that for us?” Roman mocked in a baby-voice. “Oh, you’re so generous! Thanks, Ken!”
“No! In your position, it just doesn’t work,” Shiv protested.
“It’s a stretch,” winced Connor in agreement.
“Stretch?” Roman scoffed. “It’s a fucking scrotum over a timpani drum!”
Shiv straightened her posture. “If I were to back you against Dad, I would need to take over.”
Both you and Rome made noises of surprise.
“What? Woah!” Roman chuckled and you drew in a cold inhale through your teeth.
“Shiv, I’m sorry, there’s absolutely no way you’d be able to steer us out of this mess—” you began.
“What? And you could?”
“Yes!” you exclaimed, thinking back to the phone call you had with Logan in the hotel. “But I’m not going to. I don’t want the fucking top job. I’m looking at this from a neutral perspective, okay? You wouldn’t work.”
Kendall nodded vehemently. “You don’t have the experience, Shiv. It wouldn’t be possible. I wish it was, but it isn’t.”
“Come on, you’re a busted flush! I’m the only person who can reform!”
“You’re too divisive,” Kendall said. Shiv’s lips parted in offense. “I mean, I don’t see you this way, but people see you as the token woman, wonk, woke, snowflake. I don’t think that, but the market does.”
“Jesus Christ,” you mumbled, pinching the space between your brows.
“What? That’s bullshit!” she bit out, volume raising a notch.
Snickering beneath his breath, Roman said, “It’s true, I just spoke to the market. That’s exactly what they think.”
“Guys, listen. We’d get new directors, and a clean broom. And then we can figure out how to split the spoils.”
Shiv pursed her lips. “I have some calls to make,” she finally said, getting up from the bed. “But this stays in here, yeah?”
“Absolutely,” Roman said.
“Yeah,” both you and Connor mumbled.
With that, she left the room.
Roman slipped away from you, saying something about taking his own call. You watched him go curiously, though you were already pretty certain he was going to call Gerri for her opinion, seeing as she was CEO now. With a nod to Kendall and Connor, you excused yourself to go to the bathroom.
You strode down the hall and shut the door behind you. The mirror above the sink’s reflection stared back at you, nearly unrecognizable. You looked so tired. Clothes wrinkled, hair disheveled, eyebags dark. All you wanted to do was go home and crawl into your own bed.
You sniffed, though you weren’t crying. You wanted to cry, though. A cry-session sounded really nice right about now. You blinked once, then twice. No tears, still.
Dejected, you went about your business, before rinsing your hands clean and stepping out to the rest of the siblings gathered in the living room now, all standing around a white box of donuts.
“Someone ordered dessert?” you asked with a mild laugh, quirking a brow at Roman.
“Wasn’t me,” he said, jerking his head to Connor, who had a card in his hand.
“Dad sent donuts. Perfectly innocent, safe-to-eat donuts,” the oldest of the group announced. He lifted up the card. “He wants us all to have a nice tea party.”
Shiv glanced around shiftily. “What the fuck? Ken—did you tell him?”
“Shiv, come on,” he replied. “Why would I tell him?”
“To make him distrust us and force us to back you?” you offered, peering over at the donuts. Connor reached over to take out a glazed chocolate one from the center.
“I wouldn’t eat that,” Shiv told his brother.
Incredulous, Connor said, “You really think he’d send poisoned donuts to the house of his grandchildren?”
“Yeah, I’m, like, ninety-eight percent sure those aren’t poisoned,” Roman chimed.
Kendall shook his head. “Okay, guys. These aren’t relevant—”
“Oh, no. No, no, no, these are really relevant donuts,” Roman protested.
Ignoring him, Kendall held up his phone. “Do we wanna? Guys—are we in? I’ll make the call right now. We can say it tonight. It’ll be over. New dawn.”
A terse silence settled over the rest of you.
“Con, stop staring at the fucking donuts, man. Focus!”
With that, the eldest sibling dropped the card on top of the donuts. “I’m out,” he said.
Kendall’s eye seemed to twitch. “Alright, then. You’re irrelevant, anyway.”
“Hey, fuck you.”
“Go on. Leave. You’re not wanted. You’re not wanted, Connor! Leave!”
“Don’t be fucking mean, Kendall,” you snapped.
Roman shook his head. “Yeah, as if he hasn’t heard that enough already.”
“I just don’t wanna destroy Dad. I’m a national figure. It’s not right to kill one’s father.”
“Yeah, you’re a prick!”
You shot Connor an apologetic glance, but he simply shook his head, gathered his jacket, and took his leave.
Kendall then rounded on his younger brother. “Roman. Come on, man. Let’s do this.”
“Uhm… pass.”
“Pass? Why?”
Roman pulled a sour face, as if he’d just licked a lemon. “A number of reasons, really.”
“Like what? You think I can’t win? Dude—we can win this together. We’ll fucking win! There’s enough for us all, Rome.”
“I told you. I’m with Dad. I always have been.”
Shaking his head, Kendall spat out, “You’re a fucking moron.”
“Don’t call him that!” You bristled. He sounded just like his father.
Kendall looked to his sister. “Forget them, Shiv.”
“I’m with Dad,” she said, plainly. Roman laughed, and Kendall’s expression fell.
“Why?” he asked.
She crossed her arms and shrugged. “Why? I don’t need to tell you.”
“Yes, you fucking do! Is it the goddamn donuts? Have you been spooked by fucking donuts? That’s pathetic, Shiv! Why? You owe me an explanation!”
Shiv tossed her head back and laughed at the irony. “Oh, yeah! Because you’ve always been so careful to keep me informed.”
“What is it? You don’t believe me?” he asked. “Obviously, you believe me! So you’re literally doing the wrong thing over the right thing here?”
Her eyes were intense on her brother. Exhaling lowly, Shiv said, “I can see that you’re angry, but don’t project your disappointment onto me. I should go.”
“Is it cowardice or avarice? I just wanna know,” Kendall called out. “Is it because you won’t take over? Is that it? Good luck with sleeping on that, Shiv.”
“Fuck you, plastic Jesus.”
“You’re a fucking twat.”
“I was the one you wanted. Rome and Connor don’t even matter to you,” she said.
“Yeah, because you’re the fucking token girl! Girls count double now, didn’t you know?”
“No, I know.” There was a crack in her voice. “I fucking know.”
“It’s only your teats that give you any value! You’re calling it wrong, Shiv. You’re fucking over the victims. I hope you know that! Well done, you dipshit!”
She shot you and Roman narrowed glances, before sauntering out of Rava’s apartment.
Finally, Kendall turned to you. His last hope. He stepped closer to you, until he was just in front of you. “Y/N, just listen. You—we could make this work. You’d be the fucking—the fucking glue. The brains. You’re good at this. You know people, you have connections. It could work. You don’t need them.”
“I don’t trust you,” you whispered.
And there it was. There were the tears. Stinging the corner of your eyes and just barely blurring your vision. Only this time, you didn’t want to cry. Not in front of Kendall.
Kendall took your hands loosely, and you couldn’t find it in you to pull away just yet. Roman watched on with part caution, part disgust.
“Remember—remember when we were kids and I told you that I would be leading the company one day? That you could be there with me? Remember that? And you made me swear to give you all the fucking strawberry popsicles you wanted. You could have it all, Y/N. It’s so fucking close.”
You remembered. Of course you did. “I don’t know, Kendall. I don’t remember.” Swallowing, you pulled your hands away from his. “You’ll just use me, Kendall. You’ll just use me and then toss me to the side.”
“That’s what Dad is doing to you right now. I’m not like him. I won’t do that.”
Your expression hardened and you wiped away the tears. “I can’t back you.”
For a moment, you wondered if Kendall was going to scream.
“Fine,” he said, eerily quiet. “You’re an asshole. Both of you.”
Roman took your hand and began to tug you to the elevator.
“You’re all pricks. Fucking idiots. You don’t know what the hell you’re doing!”
He kept calling you and his siblings a variety of colorful insults, but they all blurred into white noise when Roman hurried you into the elevator, his arm wound around your waist.
“Home?” you asked. You were so, very tired.
He nodded. “Home.”
“Will you stay over?”
He kissed your head, chaste and barely there. “Yeah. Sure.”
The company’s annual shareholding meeting started early in the morning. It’d been a few weeks since the eventful night at Rava’s place, and you’d been swamped with work ever since then. Shiv had been promoted to President of Domestic Operations—which was just a fancy title that meant little to nothing—and shortly after, the FBI had raided the company building.
Yeah. All sunshine and rainbows at Waystar right about now.
A vote would completely be slanted away from the Roys, and that only left them with the option of negotiation with Stewy and Sandi.
“We’re gonna lose the company,” said Shiv, hands propped on her hips. “We’re going to lose the fucking company today.”
The rest of you were sitting around on the couches, waiting for Logan to arrive. He was late, as he often was nowadays.
Roman tugged at the lapels of your dark blue pantsuit, wrangling your attention back to him. He offered you a wry smile. “Say, if I lose my job here, do you think I could find work behind a cash register at Target?”
“Haven’t you heard? All those jobs are being taken up by broke college students with at least two bachelor's degrees under their belt,” you dryly replied. He barked out something akin to a laugh. Since he was straightening out your suit for you, you reached out to fix his loosely-knotted tie. Once you were done, you patted his cheek fondly and pulled your hands away.
It was then that Logan came ambling through the entrance, clutching a dark cane in one hand and Kerry right behind him.
“There he is. The big beast,” Roman said. “Ready to kick ass with his ass-kicking boot.”
“You heard?” Shiv queried him, without bothering to even say hello. “You know where we’re at?”
Logan stared at his daughter for a good few seconds. “Uh-huh,” he finally said, stoutly. Then, he looked to senior management. “Karl? Gerri?”
The man shrugged. “Uh… I guess we have to delay the vote. Squeeze Sandy and Stewy’s airtime. Run the long versions of the speeches. ”
Gerri spoke up, “I emailed a list of assigned shareholders for last minute persuasion.”
“Good, good. Yes,” Logan said. He sounded winded.
Brows furrowing, Shiv incredulously asked, “That’s it? There’s nothing else we can do?” There was an anxious lilt to her voice.
“What about the Raisin?” Logan asked. The president.
Shiv, Tom, and Cyd scrambled to answer for him, and he barked out a few more orders, before taking a seat.
Gerri’s phone began to ring, and her eyes widened when she checked the caller ID. “It’s Stewy Hosseini,” she said. “Should I take it?”
Wordless, Logan nodded once.
The call was short, but brief. Gerri’s eyes were narrowed and calculating when she hung up.
“They want to meet up,” she announced. “They have thoughts.”
Head tilting, Roman asked, “Thoughts? What kind of thoughts?”
“Ideas for a deal space around a settlement,” Gerri told the group.
“Fucking A! That’s great!” exclaimed Roman, before he was cut off by his father.
“Why have they suddenly decided to settle?” he asked, voice low.
Shiv replied, “Well, because they know it’s the smartest move?”
“Or they’ve had bad news,” Logan said. “What do they know that we don’t?”
You bit down on the inside of your cheek. “Well—we’d find out when we speak to them.”
Logan shook his head. “No. I’m not doing a tap dance. Shiv, Karl, Gerri, Y/N, Romulus—go and report back.”
Lifting a hand, Frank offered, “I think that’s smart. Yeah. But, uhm, Gerri should be out front helming, so should I go?”
“We nail you to the cross, Frank, alright?” Logan dismissed. “Let Sandy do the soft shoe. He’s wriggling. Let’s screw them out.”
The hotel you were meeting them at was lavish and over-the-top—you expected nothing less from Sandy and Stewy.
Inside the elevator up, Roman queried, “Does Sandy really have syphilis? What if he has sores all over his body? What if his groin’s all eaten away and the top half of him just falls off?”
“That’s disgusting, Rome,” you said, wrinkling your nose.
He stuck his tongue out at you. “You’re disgusting, fuck-face,” he shot back, childishly.
Gerri hummed. “I think we started that syphilis rumor.”
Raising a brow, you exchanged a look with Roman, neither of you all that surprised. Gerri was a cutthroat, cold-stoned bitch (in Roman’s words), and she’s definitely done worse than starting up a few nasty rumors.
“Late stage symptom is dementia, I believe,” said Karl, tucking his phone away into his back pocket.
Roman laughed. “You been doing some late night, panicky googling, Karl?”
With that, the elevator doors slid open, and the group filed out down the hall. A hotel employee showed you into one of the larger suites, where Sandy, Sandi, and Stewy were situated amongst plush seats.
“Hey,” Sandi greeted with a cautious smile. “Thanks for coming. My father is very excited to see you all.”
You glanced at her father, who was slumped over on a wheelchair and silent. It seemed his condition had worsened much more than you expected. You took a seat beside Gerri, and Shiv stiffly eased down next to you. Roman lingered behind, far too restless to sit.
“Look,” said Stewy, pulling your attention away from the older man to him, “after careful consideration, if we can make a deal here, we’re willing to agree to a standstill. No takeover. Provided we lead on deal-making options moving forward, we’ll accede to a continuation of combined Chairman and CEO roles, so that’d be all yours.”
“I think that sounds reasonable,” said Gerri.
“And the three board seats?” Stewy asked. His eyes darted from the siblings, to you, to Gerri and Karl.
Nodding, Shiv said, “Including yours? We can do that right now—I have my dad’s authorization to go there.”
“Would you be willing to sign off on this?” you asked. Stewy’s gaze met yours, mildly amused. “We’d like something physical to hold onto.”
Sandi then leaned forward when her father began to mumble under his breath, too quiet for you to decipher from where you were sitting.
“He wants our costs covered,” Sandi finally said. That was reasonable. Then, she added, “And… veto right over any Roy family member ever taking over as CEO.”
Your brows furrowed. Gerri seemed just as taken aback by this condition as you were.
“Stewy?” she asked, hoping he’d give some sort of clarification.
“That’s what the man said,” Stewy replied languidly. “It’s a very important protection for us.”
Wincing, Roman scratched at the back of his head. “I feel like I just have to put it out there and say it, since there’s a eighty-five billion dollar baby on the table here… how do I know he’s not your… meat puppet?”
The term made you think of Kendall before he’d waged war on his own father.
Sandi smiled, though it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “I just do what my dad tells me, like you guys.”
“You mind if we take a beat?” Gerri asked, standing up. You stood with her, following her to the next room. Stewy said something snarky, but you consciously chose not to listen.
Karl ducked his head and whispered, “Well, I mean, other than the new proposal, it’s a very, very attractive prospect.”
Shiv frowned and incredulously bit out, “I’m sorry, but there’s nothing to discuss. It fucks us and it’s designed to humiliate dad!”
“It’s all just optics,” Gerri defended. “I’m not sure it’d even stand up.”
“You could probably work around it if it ever came to it!” Karl piped in.
“Uhm, with all due respect, Gerri—get bent,” said Roman.
Shaking her head, she reasoned, “I know it’s humiliating, and I’m sure your dad would agree, but given where we’re at, I have to check in with him. Sorry, excuse me.”
With that, she stepped away to call Logan.
“Is she gonna fuck us?” Shiv asked.
Roman pulled a face. “No. I don’t know.”
“Logan’s not going to say yes,” you murmured. “He wouldn’t allow it. It’s pride over everything, no?”
Shiv shot you a sharp look, but she didn’t say anything. From farther away, Gerri hung up the phone and made her way back to Stewy.
“We will meet your costs, but… no veto,” she told them. Of course—Logan wouldn’t refuse to be the first to bend the knee.
Sandy began murmuring again, and Sandi leaned in to listen.
“We need the veto,” she said once she backed away.
“Is there no alternative shape here?” Gerri queried, shaking her head.
Growing frustrated, Shiv said, “Come on, Sandi. We all want this to work.”
With one final lean-in, Sandi nodded her head at her father’s mumbled words.
“We’re gonna go have a think. But, uhm… it’d be a shame if all this hard work is destroyed over a small detail,” she finally concluded. “Thanks for coming to see us.”
You blew out a breath and scratched at the back of your head—a habit that you seemed to pick up from Roman.
The two of you began walking out, and Gerri caught up, just a step behind. “Sorry, about back there—”
“About what? Trying to fuck me over to consolidate your position?”
“No. It just seemed to make sense. Business-wise.”
Roman shot her a glance over his shoulder. “Throwing me overboard to drown? You picked your prince, Gerri, don’t fuck it up now.” He began to walk faster, and you gave her an apologetic shrug.
“We got this in the bag, Gerri. Don’t—don’t worry about Roman.”
She patted your shoulder with a reassured smile. “I can count on you to keep him in line, right?”
“Yeah. Of course.”
With one final nod, you jogged ahead to catch up with Roman, linking your arm with his.
“Hey, stompy,” you greeted, bumping your hip into his. “Stop pouting. Gerri was just trying to broker a deal. It’s not her fault they suddenly wanted a veto right.”
“I know. I’m just fucking—worried that I’m making the wrong choices all the time.”
“Yeah. But you’re doing okay. We’ll be fine. Everything’s going to blow over in a few months, just watch.”
The corner of Roman’s lips tilted into a lopsided smile, and hummed out that hyena-laugh of his. “You are so fucking fake. Y’know what the fucking Gen-Z’ers are calling it now? Toxic positivity. That’s what you are. A barrel of toxic, radioactive, neon-yellow smiley emojis. I love it. Never change.”
He kissed your cheek then, sounding out an obnoxious ‘mwah!’ before tugging you into the elevator.
By the time you rejoined Logan, Karolina, and Tom (hell, even Greg was there), Gerri’s phone began to ring again.
“It’s Sandi.”
“Which one?” Connor asked.
“The one that can talk,” Gerri deadpanned. She gave Logan a confirming glance, before answering it. Her expression rippled with incredulity and apprehension. “Uh… are you sure about that? Alright, but—seriously?”
With one final sigh, she hung up the call.
“They have one more proviso,” she told the group. “They want to take away the private jets.”
“What? No!” Roman protested.
“They said it’s elitist and out of touch.”
A frown crossed his face. “Duh-doy, but—no. They’re just trying to humiliate him.” He gestured to his father, who was slumped in a chair, eyes staring aimlessly at the ground.
“Was it real or were they just basting the turkey?” asked Karl.
“I don’t think Sandy’s the kind to be pulling a prank on us, Karl,” you said, pinching the space between your brows. “It’s gotta be real.”
Gesturing emphatically, Shiv said, “Let’s just eat it, Dad. You can tell them to fuck off later.”
“Yeah, we can just offer to cut personal use, or put on a mileage cap,” offered Karl.
“No!” Roman protested once more. “We give them this—first they come for the PJs and we say nothing, then they come for the outsized compensation payments, you know? This is—no. This is bullshit. They’ll back down, they won’t blow it over this. Right?”
He looked at you, and you lifted a shoulder. “I don’t know. They’re fishing for something here, but we still have to take them seriously.”
“Dad?” Roman asked.
The older man was silent for a long time.
“Hm.” He paused, glancing around. His eyes were glazed over. “I need to piss.”
“Oh,” said Shiv, uncertain. “Do you… do you need some help, or should I reach out and call—?”
Logan ignored her, and pointed at Tom. “You.” He loosely gestured at the rest of you. “Stay.”
“You want to make a decision now, before you go? Dad?” Shiv called out after him, but he was already walking away.
“Is he—is he okay?” you whispered into Roman’s ear. “He doesn’t look too good.”
Roman pulled a sour face. “He’s fine. He looks fine. Why, you think something’s wrong with him?”
“Well, I don’t know, he’s just acting so weird. This is—this is a big fucking deal and he’s been shrugging it off like it’s chopped liver.” At Roman’s worried look, you gripped his arm and squeezed comfortingly. “I mean, I don’t know, though. Maybe he’s okay.”
Nearly fifteen minutes later, you were about to eat your own words.
Logan was most certainly not okay. When he came back, he was out of breath, and his eyes were unfocused.
“What’s it gonna be, Logan?” Gerri asked. “We need an answer.”
“Uh-huh.”
“What do you think? Yes or no?”
A staggered exhale and a wild look around. “Fuck ‘em,” he finally spat out.
Shock spilled over the group. Shiv made noises of protest.
“Fuck ‘em!” he repeated, gruffer this time.
“I—are you sure, Dad? That’s… you sure you wanna do this?” Shiv asked.
His breathing was getting heavier and heavier. It was clear to you that business was the last thing Logan should be thinking about right now. You stepped forward, concern splayed over your features.
“Uncle Logan, are you okay?” you asked, under your breath. He didn’t give you an answer, but you took his arm to slowly lead him to a seat. It didn’t go past your notice that he was sweltering hot and trembling quite a bit—you could feel the heat and the quaking through the fabric of his suit.
Despite the fact that he was in no state of mind to be negotiating, Gerri and Shiv pushed him. “Do you know something, or…? That’s a big call you’re making.”
“Pills!” Logan hissed to Colin, who came forward immediately.
“I just gave you some, sir. You need something else? Tylenol?”
Logan nodded, mumbling incoherently beneath his breath.
The rest of the group discussed what the next steps were, and a part of you wanted to join and offer your input, but you stayed by Logan’s side.
When Colin returned with the Tylenol, you furrowed your brows and told him, “He’s, uhm, he’s really hot. Like—feels like he’s burning up. Can we—do we need to go get him a medic, or…?”
“I’m fine,” he said, waving away your words. But then he smiled at you, and that was the most surprising thing of all. “Thank you, dear.”
“Okay. Just let me know if you need anything.”
“What’s going on with the Raisin?” he asked.
Gerri, overhearing, stepped closer with cinched brows. “I’m sorry, with—with the President?”
“Can we get Ravenhead on air?” Logan queried. “Call Michelle-Anne. Tell her to get the SEC to shut this meeting down.”
It was clear that Logan was spouting out utter nonsense, and you exchanged several confused looks with the rest of the group.
“Okay… we’ll look into that,” said Karl.
“I need a piss,” Logan announced once more. Hadn’t he gone just a few minutes ago? “Where is he?”
Tom pointed at himself. “Who, me? Again? Yeah? Sure—okay.”
Greg, who had just returned from sending off a note to Frank on stage, came bounding back to the group, sweat and hair slightly disheveled. “You guys going off to the bathroom?” he asked Logan and Tom.
Logan stared at his grand-nephew incredulously. “What fucking business is it of yours?”
You and Roman glanced at each other. “Jesus. You were right. He’s off his rocker,” Roman whispered.
A few minutes later, Logan staggered back with Tom helping him, and Shiv came forward to ask if he was alright. To everybody’s surprise, Logan called his daughter Marcia, and then started rambling on about a speech he was meant to give.
Tom came up to the rest of the group. “Hey, uh, hey everybody—Logan’s not really himself right now.”
Shiv rushed back after phoning Kerry. “He’s got a fucking UTI.”
“That explains it,” you said, glancing back at Logan, still murmuring something to a nodding Colin.
“Well, is that—I mean, no, it isn’t. It’s not that fucking serious, is it?” Roman asked. He was worried, you could see it clear as day.
“At his age? That can make you crazy!” said Connor. “Reagan had one and nearly nuked Belgium.”
“What?” Shiv asked, incredulous. “How long has he been like this? What the fuck?”
Brows furrowing, Gerri chimed in, “Was he like this when he risked the whole company?”
“Nobody hears about this,” Shiv warned, voice steely. “What do we do?”
“Get a doctor,” you said, as if it were obvious.
“Can’t we just get him some cranberry juice and ask him about the deal again?” Roman asked.
Tom shook his head. “He was just asking for Caroline.”
“Oh,” said Roman, mock-pouting. “Aw. He misses mom.”
“He’s gone mad,” Shiv blew out.
“Well, we don’t actually know when he got this way. We don’t!” Roman said.
“No, no, I think he’s been piss-mad for quite some time,” Tom interjected, glancing back at Logan. “Shiv, do you think—should you overrule him? Go back to Sandy and Stewy and say we’ve changed our minds?”
You sucked in a deep breath. “Logan’ll be furious.”
“How can he be furious when he can’t even tell me apart from his wife?” Shiv shot back.
Haughtily, you told her, “I’m saying when he’s gotten through it, he’ll be angry that you went over his back—!”
Before you could finish, Hugo came running up. “Guys—he insists that he still has to give his speech.” He hurried off when Logan called his name. Or, a garbled version of it.
“Can he give his speech?” Karolina asked.
“What? The demented fucking piss-mad King of England?” Roman responded with a scoff.
“He could say anything up there. No fucking way,” Shiv asserted. “I say we drop it. Right?”
“But at the very least, he should be onstage,” persisted Gerri.
Karl nodded along. “It would be great to get the body up there.”
“Right. Like a human fucking spectacle,” you said, cocking your head. “You don’t think people would find it weird that he’s up there and not saying anything?”
“Okay, we’ll just push it as late as we can, and maybe if we can just get him on stage, that’d be enough?” Shiv proposed.
Connor laughed. “Oh, yeah, maybe send him up through a trapdoor surrounded by dry ice.”
“Where is this doctor, anyway?” Gerri asked.
With no time for anyone to reply, Hugo hustled back to the group, expression twisted with uncertainty. “Uhm… he’s concerned there is a dead cat under his chair.”
Everybody blinked, clueless.
“Great,” said Shiv. “That’s great.”
“Well, is there anything under his chair?” Gerri whispered, ducking her head to check herself.
You stared at your godfather from afar, watching as he vehemently gestured down below his seat.
“He says that, uh, he doesn’t want Rose to see it,” said Hugo. “And he wants Colin to take it out.”
Rose. The name sounded familiar, something you’ve surely heard in passing, but you couldn’t quite place who she was.
Clearly, Roman was beginning to grow more and more agitated, and he gritted out, “Fine. Have Colin take it out. Jesus Christ.”
Finally, Kerry arrived, hurrying to grab her bag, mumbling something about doctors and pills and secrecy. As if to make it even worse, Kendall appeared out of nowhere, and Shiv let out a long and loud string of curses.
“Great—hey, who invited you?” Roman sneered at his older brother.
Kendall ignored him. “What the fuck is going on? He’s squashing the fucking deal?”
“It’s fine! It’s fucking fine—we got it under control,” Roman vehemently pressed, though it didn’t sound too convincing with Logan in the back yelling for the cat to be carried away. The cat that didn’t, in fact, exist.
“You have to turn this around right now!” Kendall yelled.
“We’re figuring it out,” Shiv told him.
Logan screeched again and grumbled incoherently, shifting on his chair.
“What—what the fuck is going on with him?” asked Kendall.
“The doctor’s coming, Ken,” you tried to reassure him, but he shook his head.
“No, no, I want to know what’s wrong with him!”
Colin hurried away with an empty box—supposedly holding the dead cat. A part of you wondered if this dead cat was a distant memory from Logan’s past. Maybe he was trapped in a fragment of time he could never quite move on from.
“What is that?” Kendall took a few steps to follow after Colin, but halted to look back at his siblings in utter confusion. “Guys, what—?”
“Can you just leave, please?” Roman hissed. “That is an imaginary cat, now can you please fuck off?”
Raising his voice, Kendall addressed the entire group, voice stricken and strained, “Listen to me very carefully. This is you throwing it away. You think they’re bluffing? They’re not fucking bluffing! And you’re putting everything I have fought and bled for on the fucking edge and I am not gonna let that happen! Do you understand me?”
“You’re not welcome here,” Shiv said, cold. “You have no right to be here.”
“Fucking fix it!” he yelled. Kendall sounded like his father.
“You may go! You’re excused!” Roman told him. “Thank you very much for your concern, please go.”
You and Connor stayed silent, watching the other three scream at each other.
“Go! You’re fucking delusional!” shouted Roman. “There’s a fucking delusional man leaving here!”
Kendall began to walk away, but not without screaming back, “Figure out a fucking doctor or I’m calling mine!”
“Thank you so much for your concern, like you give a flying shit!” Roman spat back. “You probably slipped him something, Putin! You piece of shit! Fuck off!”
It was a game of tug-of-war, and both sides were backing into a cliff’s edge.
Roman was taking out his frustrations and his fear onto his brother, and you stepped forward, placing a hand on his chest.
“Hey, Rome, that’s enough. He’s—he’s leaving, okay? Bye, Kendall.” You brushed a stray strand of his hair away from his forehead. “It’s fine. You need to… you need to take a beat.”
Roman pulled a pained expression, his features crumpling under the weight of stress. He nodded several times, before crossing his arms and walking off to get himself a swig of water.
When the doctor finally arrived, you pointed him towards Logan, quickly explaining what he’s been like for the past half an hour. He nodded and got to work, pulling out a few medical instruments to check up on Logan.
“So—how is he?” Shiv asked the doctor.
“I’ll put him on some fluids to hydrate him—it should be pretty quick.”
“Will he definitely be okay?” Roman asked
The doctor didn’t have the chance to reply when Shiv cut in, “But how quick, exactly?”
“Well… he’s not a cup of instant noodles.”
“Sure, but can we speed it up? Like a—a blood bag or an adrenaline shot?”
Roman scowled. “Geez, take it easy. You wanna give him a fucking Tabasco suppository?”
“Fuck you! It’s what he’d want,” Shiv defensively replied.
“Fuck you, too. The main thing is that we look after him, okay?” Roman slung an arm over your waist and you leaned into him with a sigh.
“Obviously, I agree.”
“Oh, do you, though? Sounded like you want to jumpstart our father like he’s a fucking pick-up truck!” Roman uneasily glanced at Logan, who’d fallen asleep on the chair. “Shit. Can you guys call us when he’s less… scary?”
With that, Roman dragged you away from the group. You could still feel Shiv’s angry eyes burning into your back.
“Where are we going?”
“Bathroom.”
“And do you want me to aim your penis for you?” you asked, laughing slightly. “Why are you making me come with you?”
Roman shot you a loose grin. “I could come up with twenty different sex jokes with what you just said. But I’m not going to, because I’m a gentleman.”
“He says, as he shoves me into the men’s bathroom,” you scoffed, before striding in and locking the door behind you. “I hope you’re not looking for a quickie here. I don’t think it’s very sanitary.”
Laughing nervously, Roman’s grip on your hand left so it could curl over your hip, tugging you close.
“You don’t want a little distraction? Just give me five minutes,” he mumbled. His head dipped forward to kiss the junction between your neck and your shoulder.
“I can’t tell if you’re joking or not,” you whispered, so low that Roman only barely heard it.
In truth, he didn’t know, either.
“Besides, I don’t think we’d have the time, anyway. The floor is fucking lava out there,” you murmured. “Also, I wouldn’t want our first time together to be in a bathroom at a shareholder’s meeting.”
Roman smiled, almost shy, almost disbelieving. “First time? Wow. Is this your way of telling me you want to have sex with me?”
“As if you wouldn’t throw yourself on your knees begging for it,” you bit back, wrinkling your nose affectionately. Then, you cupped his face and kissed the side of his nose, leaving a faint mark of lip tint against his skin. You smiled at that. “You’re cute, Romeo. But I know you. If you wanted to have sex, you’d be dry-humping me against the sink as soon as we stepped foot in here. What is it you actually want to talk about?”
Roman blew out a heavy sigh. His hands fell away from you as he hoisted himself up onto the sink and leaned against the pristine mirror. “I wanted to come clean to you. No secrets right? During the plane ride back to New York, I called Dad. I told him I wanted the top job, but I also told him that… that you and Gerri would be my second choices if he didn’t think I was ready. I just—I wanted to know if you maybe gave him a call, too?”
There was a moment of silence.
“I did.” You bit down on the inside of your cheek. “I told him that I didn’t want it.”
“Oh.”
“And I told him that Gerri would be my choice.”
Roman’s eyes met yours. They twitched with incredulity. “And you didn’t—you didn’t mention me anywhere in there?”
“I didn’t.”
“Wow. Great fucking friend you are.”
“Rome—”
“You chose the croney over me?”
Your features hardened. “Rome. Fuck, I just… I told him I didn’t want it because I didn’t want to be marked as the token figure that roped the company out of hot water. And I don’t want that for you, either. Don’t you get it? Not to mention it’d ruin your relationship with your siblings.”
“So you just—you don’t think it’d ever be me?” Something in his voice broke.
“It could be,” you admitted. “But I don’t want it to. Not now, at least.”
There was a longer silence. Roman pulled at his face tiredly.
You opened your mouth again, but he waved you away. “I know, I know, you didn’t offer me up because you love me and you’re trying to protect me. Thanks, fuck-face.”
He hopped off from the sink, cradling the back of your head so he could give you a chaste kiss on the forehead.
“You still up for that quickie?” you tried to joke, nudging him with a half-hearted smile.
“Sorry, I’m saving myself for Marcia. Nothing like fucking your father’s leftovers, I’d say.”
The two of you laughed and linked arms, unlocking the bathroom door to walk out and make your way back to the group.
It seemed that the two of you came back at the perfect time, because Shiv was worriedly telling everyone, “His moans are getting louder.”
“Okay, but can he do that on stage?” Hugo questioned.
“Is it a wheel-on and wave situation?”
“Fuck, no. We’re not gonna make the piss-mad bear dance with fucking cattle prods!” Roman angrily put out. “We need to be looking after him.”
Shiv propped her hands up on her hips. “So he’s not gonna do his speech? Is that it, though? Do we just—does that mean we go down? We’d fucking give up?” She hurriedly turned and asked one of the analysts what the stats on the vote were. “God, okay. I think we should just go back to Sandy and Stewy and try to save the deal.”
“No, no. You can’t. Dad said no deal,” Roman reminded her.
“Dad didn’t say shit, Rome!”
“He said no deal! Are you fucking deaf?”
“No, he didn’t! His urethra had wrestled control over his brain! I could at least talk to them, right? If we go to the vote, we’d probably… we’d lose. Karl? Frank? Tom?”
They all babbled incoherently—mostly in agreement.
“Y/N?”
You pursed your lips. “Yeah. I think you should try.”
“Rome? You back this?”
Roman pinched the space between his brows. Sucking in a deep breath, he said, “Go on, yeah. Go fuck it up, you moron.”
With that, Shiv rushed away, pulling out her phone to give them a call.
Before the shareholder meeting ended, the President called and the group had Roman answer, since Logan was currently… unavailable. He was extremely upset with Logan and said that he wouldn’t be running for another term, which was a major blowback for the company, since he was the stilt to Waystar’s political survival.
It was safe to say that things were going to shit.
Then Shiv called to say that she’d finessed four seats out of the board, which was a good fucking deal, so—maybe things weren’t all that shit.
Roman wasn’t happy with going against Logan’s wishes, but he frustratedly nodded. “We’re good. We’re all good. Hold the voting.”
Everyone cheered and sighed in relief.
When Logan came to, Gerri filled him in with all the details. He didn’t like what Shiv did, not at all, despite her defensive arguments that she’d saved the company. He yelled at her then, and everyone was quiet for a moment.
But Logan smiled at you, and patted Roman’s shoulder minutes later. He was fine, right? Things were fine.
Things were going to be okay.
#roman roy x reader#roman roy fanfiction#roman roy smut#roman roy fluff#roman roy series#roman roy ff#roman roy angst#roman roy x you#roman roy fanfic#succession roman#succession roman x reader#roman roy#succession fanfiction#succession x reader#roman roy imagine
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Part 2 of my ace contemplations - Part 1 can be found here - or more like: more whining, haha. Sorry.
First off something more general: I'm happy about the responses I got on the original post, but I think it's a bit sad that there isn't a hashtag or something for people who want and need the support of the aspec community here on Tumblr (without having to join a special forum or sth). Because it seems that while the community is quite active, it's mostly for sharing memes and snappy textposts and stuff, and less about more helpful things and discussions. I'm not saying the memes etc are wrong and shouldn't be a part of it too, but idk, I just wish there would be more of an actual community bond, if that makes sense? To help the people who aren't yet at the stage where they can view their identity as something great, people who are still struggling and are reliant on online communities for that kind of help.
Because for all the talk about the very active Tumblr aspec community...I personally haven't seen and benefitted much of it, apart from the memes etc. And I hope I'm not the only person who don't just want to agree with meme posts and would wish for more. Or am I just unfortunate? Looking in the wrong places? (In short, where are the nice supportive ace people of Tumblr? I'm desperate here...well, kind of.)
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Something related to the books I mentioned in the original post:
these books are all written from such an US-centric, university-educated and creative business viewpoint. And that's just not my world at all, as an mostly unemployed European with crappy education.
Like, one time it was mentioned that aces always look out for each other and how great that is. And yeah, sure. It is. It would be great, but what about the people who aren't part of that lucky network or community? People who possibly haven't met another aspec person in real life? They are missing that kind of support, and maybe it would be the one thing that would make everything easier.
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Another thing: I found the probably supposed to be inspirational stories from other aces in the books rather disheartening. Yeah, fine, so person XY found their perfect partner by luck, despite whatever made them think it would never work out, yadda yadda. Good for them, but that's not gonna happen to me, right? I'm not gonna strike that jackpot and will find someone who accepts me as I am. Maybe I'm just a really, really spiteful person, but stories like that don't inspire me or show me what's possible for me personally in any way.
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Well, yeah, I never encountered that. Like, truly never. That's one thing where I'm very ace: I don't get what's supposed to be sexy about a (mostly) naked body. I understand a appeal of a open top button and bit of chest being visible or something like that (lol that sounded so stupid), but the body being in full view? Nah man, put on your shirt again before you catch a cold, lol. (And it's not just guys actually, but people of all genders, if I'm honest.) I should probably add that I absolutely don't mind seeing anything like that, it just doesn't do anything for me.
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I guess my takeaway from all the reading I did isn't like for other people who don't feel wrong or broken anymore when they find out there are other aces out there. Even after knowing a lot about it I still feel like some crucial part of me is missing, and I could be more than what I am if that were possible. But then again, there isn't really a possibility for change, so I need to do my best to accept this. I just wish I had it easy one single time...why is basically everything about me so hard to accept? lol
Idk, but if I ever manage to convince myself that inevitably dying alone one day (and spending the time until then alone too) is a good thing, then I'm sure I'll be able to do anything. Now I only need to figure out how to convince myself and that's where it gets difficult, lol.
Being both aspec and too dumb/awkward to make friends is such a curse tbh 😓 And I can't even become a crazy cat lady because I'm bad with animals too, ugh...
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In connection with the previous bit, I'm kinda envious of that way of thinking. Would make things much easier, I assume. And it's great if it worked for her, but I on the contrary would find it quite painful if I look back at my in a sense similar life.
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And to counter all the hopelessness a little bit - we're supposed to do that kind of thing, I guess - I tried my best to come up with some positive points, although I take them with a grain of salt myself.
- Well, it does give me an explanation for whatever is going on with me. (Although I only need that explanation for myself, since I seem to give off so much sad loser energy that no one ever bothered to ask me whether I want a boyfriend or kids. They just look at me and think "nah, that's obviously impossible for her". Which is oddly funny yet a little bit hurtful... ^^')
- I'm kind of glad that I never actually have to hug people or cuddle with them since I hate physical contact so much, lol. Doesn't matter if it's platonic or not. Remember when everyone missed being hugged during the pandemic? Couldn't be me :D
- I guess someone who is a rather bad person with way too many negative traits like me shouldn't be on the dating market anyway, so it's a plus that I'm no relationship material. Although that's more of a plus for others, not so much for me, lol. But it is a plus in the sense that everyone I would fall in love with would be unattainable for me anyway, so it's good not to be tempted in the first place.
- Idk, that's about it, I think? Maybe I forgot something, but I believe that's the gist of it. Kind of sad, but I tried, haha.
#aspec#aroace#acespec#arospec#asexuality#aromanticism#asexual#lgbtqia#queer#i sure hope this will be the last part but i guarantee for nothing
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Jett,
Lol, I just wrote you the longest note, and somehow, right when I went to hit ask after proofreading the whole damn thing, it deleted and did not send. I think that message was letting me know to do the too long didn’t read version. Lol, so my long story short question was, do you have any ways to keep track of ongoing blogs better? I, of course, follow each writer and any update blogs that they have, but I still feel like I’m getting overwhelmed with notifications and missing the ones when the next chapter of their fic posts. I know Tumblr is not easy to navigate, but I’m just wondering what other people do. I’ve been fortunate enough to find a lot of older series that are complete, and of course, there’s no issue there, but with the ongoing series, unless they have a dedicated tag list, the follow and update blogs are a little hard to keep track of… And I feel like I forget… Thanks, ADHD… And I can’t remember where I’m at. I am using my hashtag to save my favorite series and characters and one shot, but with all the reblogging I’m doing now, thanks to your original advice to support writers. It’s not as easy to navigate unless I’m using my tags.
Thank you again for all that you do and making this such an inclusive site, especially for newbies like me… Teaching us the ways to be kind and support writers and overall have a better sense of community on here because even though I’m not a writer, I do feel really welcome and a big part of that is to your Support and blogs of how to navigate this insane little site.
-Lisa
Hey Lovely Lisa! 🖤
Oh noes! That's so annoying when that happens, isn't it? 😖 But gosh, thank you. I'm really glad to hear your experience is positive and welcoming. And that you feel that I've been a part of that makes me really happy, thank you. 🥹
So, maybe check this post out if you haven't already, because in it I talk about a few ways of simplifying your Tumblr settings, such as filtering your notifications and setting up Blog Subs to specific blogs you want to follow and not miss things from them.
Turn on notifications on the blogs you like and don't want to miss updates from. Sadly, tagging usernames is so glitchy and doesn't always work. I have that issue right now with tagging people who want to follow along with Adrift With You. So I'd always recommend turning on the notifications for each blog you don't want to miss things from.
Using re-blogs is a massive way to stay organised and using tags to do this is so helpful.
For example, I tag any fics that I recommend as "Jett's Fic Recs" so I can go back and search that tag on my blog and find every fic I've ever re-blogged using that specific tag. And you can create your tags relevant to you too. This is probably the most effective way of staying organised on your blog that I've found.
A Google search will show you how to do all these things for both mobile (Android and Apple app) and the desktop version of Tumblr, if you're not sure where to find the settings etc...
The new Blog Subs feature is gold. I follow like over 800+ blogs I think (?🥴) so by filtering some of these into my Blog Subs is a life saver when there's a specific blog I don't wanna miss anything from. It's easy then to switch between your feeds.
I know some people create a side blog specifically for re-blogging things. I can barely manage one account so that doesn't work for me personally, 😅 but I know a lot of bloggers who use it and it works really great for them.
It sounds like you're already doing a lot to stay organised. I'll throw it open to anyone else who has tips that help or works for them etc... but essentially the re-blogging with tags, and turning on notifs of the blogs you like, is the best way to go.
If you wanna talk more, or have any more questions, feel free to plant yourself in my DMs lovely.
Love you! 🖤
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That staff post WAS very right about needing to work on user communication. The chattiest part of Tumblr is the one that still talks to each other through putting new text in the reblog field.
Tags are cool but it makes direct communication on here kinda fraught— it’s like a 50/50 lately on something I say in a reply getting taken as an attack because why else would you say it to my face, punk??? Hashtag that thought for everyone’s safety or something. Also I keep forgetting not everyone likes to be talked to the way I do, so there’s that.
I do wanna say that I am fairly hard to offend, I like being teased a bit, and that it’s always fine to jump into my posts with commentary or to ask me things. I’d also love to find a way to use the writing features on this blog for more than complaining about how little I like where the internet is going. I’M SOOOOO BORED OF HOW MUCH I DON’T LIKE IT. But it’s hard to do escapism when your escapism platforms keep getting rocked by earthquakes, haw.
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ed tw
i'd argue that the waifspo/coquette stuff is more of a branch off of thinspo/edblr than a reincarnation, if only because it's almost the exact same posts, photos, memes, etc, just with different tags. argubly, its even an evolution of it
unfortunately, I was on edblr for a long time (2014--2020), so i sorta witnessed the gradual evolution from triggering posts in self-contained tags to triggering but #aesthetic posts that were cross tagged. at first it was relatively mild--like cross tagging 'grungy thinspo' in the main grunge tag, etc.
but weirdly with the kpop boom of the late 2010s (esp 2018 and 2019) there was a big explosion of cross tagging into kpop fandom tags, and then into anime tags, and other """delicate pastel stuff""" as well as other aesthetic tags, esp dark academia and instagram it girls
there was always an uh 'market overlap' so to speak. like a lot of people would use anime characters or k/jpop stars as thinspo, but they never crossed tagged them before. they'd tag it like #anime thinspo or whatever, but not the name of over character along with it, yknow? i know right before the pandemic there was a migration from edblr to edtwt, plus since the beginning of tumblr edblr got a lot of their thinspo from pinterest. since cross tagging is more common on those sites maybe some users assumed it'd work that way on tumblr too?
so maybe the coquette nonsense is just a congealing of all that that leaked elsewhere online. that's just a guess though
sorry if this is too long. im not even sure why im telling you all this but ig since you have to deal with it a lot of the time you deserved some context. anyway, i love your blog
first i just wanna say im sorry you went through all of this, and i genuinely hope you are doing well 🫂
& yes i think you are correct with it being an evolution more than a reincarnation, i just couldn’t really think of a way to promptly describe it in the tags at the time. i luckily escaped from proana/ed spaces before i got onto tumblr, so i didn’t know much of edblr apart from the weird shit that escaped containment, for a lack of a better word, but once i started using pinterest more often after polyvore died, as many young people (esp girls) did, i saw a kind of rise in the “aesthetic” side that was probably, looking back, just thinly-veiled thinspo.
now i feel that the shit im seeing on tumblr with the coquette girls and the whisper pinterest girls is much more blatant, like im getting flashbacks to when i trolled proana forums, back before tumblr or pinterest were popular. although, im sure that kind of brazenness always existed, i just wasn’t as aware of it as i am now, probably bc i avoided that shit as much as possible, and now i kind am more perceptive to this shit i guess.
i know that waifspo is used instead of thinspo since it isn’t censored like thinspo is, so i feel like “waif” and “coquette” are recent labels that are attached to stealth ed content. pinterest has been trying to crack down on thinspo lately, but it’s just relabeled now to post about it sneakily. it’s sad that there are so many little thinspo dog whistles floating around since most social medias have cracked down on the obvious terms. i fear for the young people just now getting on the internet and potentially being brainwashed into this shit.
and re: the kpop thinspo, i made a post about that like a month or so ago but it’s truly darksided… like i got into kpop during the pandemic like a lot of people and every so often when i would look up content about groups i liked, i would see pictures of idols with captions like “omg weight goals” with proana hashtags. the saddest thing is that a couple of these idols have opened up about being forced into extreme diets by their companies, or how they developed eds bc of the industry, and ppl are still tagging pics of them looking unhealthily thin with “body goals” like it’s just such a blatant disrespect, they aren’t fans they’re fetishizing these idols suffering.
sorry for getting into it lol… i just have a lot to say, as im sure a lot of ppl who have also lived thru this do as well. but don’t apologize for this ask i really really appreciated it!!! i honestly think there needs to be more discussion about eds, specifically re: the online communities garnered around them and how they promote people to basically self harm, so yea, thank you for the ask💞
#ed mention#ed tw#sorry if this is incomprehensible it’s late i just had a lot to say#i see people commenting body goals or weight goals on pinterest all the time it’s so horrible
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Hello! I made a post reaching out to the plural community for help, and somebody recommended me your blog so, here I am!
Lately I've been considering the possibility that I might be an OSDD system, but I'm not really sure given the fact that I have convinced myself in the past that I had some sort of disorder, when in reality I didn't.
I guess my question is... How can you tell? How do you come to the conclusion that you might be part of a system? How can I tell if I'm sabotaging myself? I'm so confused.
I'll link the post down bellow, you don't have to read it if you don't want to, that's completely okay! I just thought it might help given the fact that I list most of my symptoms in there.
Thank you, have a nice day!
https://www.tumblr.com/just-an-anxious-little-mess/714800517560385536/plural-community-i-need-your-help?source=share
Hey, there! I’m more than honored that I’m being recommended for advice, and I’m happy to help!
So, first and foremost: I can’t diagnose you. And neither can anyone else on Tumblr— or anyone that isn’t a licensed professional who specializes in complex dissociative disorders. That doesn’t mean that we can’t help! It just means that you should really take anything you read (anything that’s not professional advice from a specialist, I mean) with a grain or two of salt.
Also, even with a list of symptoms, there’s still so much more that goes into it. Presentation, when and why these things happen, little details that you may not even notice yourself. Things that you’d have to know someone in real life to truly see and know for sure.
Finally, my case is a little difficult to use as a comparison for situations like these; I was diagnosed when I was a mid-teenager, and had no idea what DID even was. It was a bomb dropped on me. I’ve told the story here a million times, but… It wasn’t a case of self-diagnosis. So… Be warned that my experience with self diagnosis of DID is very limited and mostly in relation to those around me.
With all of that out of the way, let’s get started. I can’t tell you whether or not you have DID/OSDD, but I can give you some helpful pointers that may help.
If you’re questioning these things, one of the best things that you can do is look for a therapist. I have a tag (#therapy advice tag) that is featured on my blog that may help you— if it’s not enough, feel free to message me, because I’m more than happy to offer some pointers depending on your situation. It is imperative that you find someone that actually knows how to treat DID and isn’t just a cocky EMDR therapist or a newbie trauma specialist that’s fresh out of their residency and thinks they know everything. This sounds daunting, and it is an involved process. But it is very possible in many cases!
A good thing to keep in mind is that whether or not you have OSDD/DID, you want help/treatment that works for *you*. Many people think that they just need to self diagnose or get a diagnosis and then… It’s healing time!! Well… That’s not really how it works. Diagnosis is a tool that will probably only matter to your insurance— and the great news is that if someone is qualified to treat you for your dissociative disorder, they’ll put that f44.81 right on your bill! Mental health diagnosis isn’t like it is with medical doctors. It… Honestly doesn’t matter that much as long as your treatment is working.
This isn’t to say that you shouldn’t care whether or not you have this disorder. It’s just that the more energy you spend worrying about it, the less energy you’ll have to actually cope with it and get help. And that’s not good!
All this to say that a good goal to set for yourself isn’t “figure out if I have DID/OSDD ASAP and get that hashtag systemlife going!” (Which, I know that isn’t your goal. But that was a fun little sentence, wasn’t it?) — A great goal, though, would be to listen to your mind and your body and begin to work on stabilizing yourself and finding your ability to ground. To extend some feelers and figure out what you need to heal from your traumas. Because while right now it may be scary and confusing, you’re never going to do yourself any harm by grounding and finding your center and learning how to stabilize. You could be experiencing a complex dissociative disorder, and this could be that hard and heavy denial spiral. We’ve all been there. It sucks. You could also be confused… But that’s not bad.
Please remember that whether you have DID/OSDD or not is really and truly of very little importance compared to figuring out how to heal and be present and navigate your life in a way that allows you to live and enjoy living in the present. One mistake that I see very frequently is people ascribing far too much value and importance to whether or not they’re systems rather than whether or not they’re okay.
I know that I’ve gone on tangent after tangent and you’ll have to forgive me— It has been a little bit of a long day. I guess that all of this is to say that worrying about whether you’re correct about your diagnosis isn’t ever going to be helpful for you. Getting help for it is, though. Reach out. Find resources, find a professional, read books on trauma and dissociation. If the help you find doesn’t work for you, it doesn’t. Then it’s time to move on and try a different method! Don’t be discouraged if this happens, as it likely will at some point. It happens to most of us! And it will be okay.
Let me know/know that my DMs/Askbox are always open if you need more specifics or help with the therapy search. ❤️ Please be safe, and have a wonderful night.
#dissociative identity disorder#asks#osddid#did advice#osdd#advice asks#dissociative identity disorder advice#did osdd
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Hello I have a question but I was also thinking of starting a diablog but do you have any advice or tips on how to get started
hi angel, this is probably long time coming but i made some general things that really helped me so it isn't like just directed at you but something i think would help everyone!
Tips for starting a blog
Or a blog towards a central topic. The short answer is just to start posting content about them, compared to a lot of fandoms, I wouldn't say we are small but we aren’t that big. Content gets around, tag with as many things related to the diaboys as you would like for interactions, always reblog your stuff that also gets more interactions.
Why is reblogging so important?
A lot of people underestimate the power of reblogging, Tumblr as far as I am aware has no fixed algorithm unlike a lot of social media, liking or following isn’t enough to get things out there reblogging is the best thing to spread your content across Tumblr. It’s also a great way to make mutuals by reblogging their stuff and customising your hashtags and whatnot.
Why are mutuals great?
Seems pretty obvious right? You're out here making friends who love the same things you do, so you have people to talk to, rant to, marvel over their ideas, and have them marvel over yours. But breaking it down it's a lot more useful than people realise.
Humans are pretty sociable creatures especially when it comes to things they mutually agree on or even better mutually despise; you have picked to make a Diabolik lovers account which is perfect because any perspective you put on it will have people who agree with you due to the morally grey themes. It’s just great to ping pong ideas with each other, or get consistent feedback.
However, this isn’t compulsory, it is just something I quite like.
Put yourself first!
I say this a lot but it doesn’t matter what everyone’s posting, even if the ideas are similar to yours POST IT!! Everything within the fandom is superficial, it isn't real, you can put your twist on it, you can absolutely love someone else’s headcanon about it or completely disagree. You should never feel obligated to change your creative outlet for anybody else.
Also, I only write about the diaboys, but this doesn’t mean I’m not involved in a bunch of other fandoms and forms of media from tv shows to books. You don’t have to always be diaboy centred if you don’t wish to. I encourage exploring many alternative media because often we forget just because we make content for something we aren’t obligated to, it’s something we do for enjoyment. Don’t centre all your energy on your blog, I know it’s hard. I do it a lot, but it’s not healthy. Sometimes it’s okay to sit back and just read content, sometimes I feel like I’m falling back because I’m not churning out content as fast as everyone else is. Not true this is an old-ass anime, the only reason so many people are still here is probably because of fan-made content. Quality over quantity, enjoy what you make otherwise it will become a chore for you.
Aside from that I guess just enjoy it?
For OCs even though I haven’t publicised mine yet, I suggest starting with a mood board everyone thinks it’s a great way to get your oc out there.
Be nice! Remember it’s fiction but the people behind the blogs are real.
On this note turn off anon asks if you’re getting hate but i find that a lot more people are comfortable sending asks when anon is turned on.
Okay and stay safe internet safety and that.
#diabolik lovers#diahell#yui komori#anime#anime / manga#reiji sakamaki#ayato sakamaki#shu sakamaki#diabolik lovers oc#asks#blogs#fandom culture#diabolik lovers fandom#in general#advice i suppose
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Welcome to my very first post on Tumblr ever (help me I have no idea what I'm doing), and the opener for a new decades playthrough! I've been Simming since 2000, and this is by far my favorite way to play.
Some things to know:
I go by a different time table than the classic Decades challenge. I don't switch decades until the next generation is born, which is weird and doesn't make a lot of sense, but well same here so this is what we're doing. When playing the traditional way, I find that the game starts moving too fast, and the 18 collective hours I've spent downloading vintage CC seems like a much less effective use of my time. So my playthrough is starting with 1880 (founders), and will become 1890 with the YA birthday of their first child, and will STAY 1890 until the next generations heir has their YA birthday. If this sounds too confusing/dumb, please leave because I am the most confusing and dumb bitch you'll ever meet. But I've spent thousands of dollars on this franchise over the last 23 years and I owe it to myself to do the absolute most.
I'm really not a storyteller, I don't use poses, and I don't edit my screenshots, 50% because I'm lazy and 50% because I don't know how. There will be a paper-thin attempt at something resembling a plot, but that's about as deep as it gets. I love this game the most when it gets weird.
I fill the world with gallery Sims that are hashtagged with the appropriate time period, so that the background characters are still very appropriate without me having to actually make them. Again, lazy. So you may see some Sims you recognize, if you do the same or happened to have made those Sims. The same is true of some buildings, which may be lightly edited on occasion, and which I will never take credit for or pretend to have built. All Sims that see any playtime and all buildings that the legacy family live in will be 100% made by me.
I'm new please be gentle :3 I'm truly just here to dump screenshots and hopefully find people to interact who are also this into this game.
Once upon a Monday around 8pm, an imaginary, immortal cartoon based on a human loser, got extremely bored. Sure; she's immortal, with immortal versions of her partner and pets to keep her company, and also unlimited money and artificially perfect skin. But what's it all about?
And then, a brainstorm. Why not create imaginary people and control every aspect of their lives? But they can't enjoy the decadence that usually comes with being a pretend person, because that's just boring. The best part is when they're stressed out, right? So they'll have to be pretty damn quaint.
She built a church to the only deity she had ever fully believed in: Dibella. Of the Nine Divines, Goddess of beauty and love, from a video game series so 1) appropriate and 2) also very imaginary. From the pulpit, she could call her little sheep to flock, checking in on their lives and encouraging a meager lifestyle. Just because we KNOW the cheat codes, doesn't mean we should USE the cheat codes.
Three newlywed couples were created.
Imogene and Ambrose Merriment,
Mathilda and Vernon Revelry,
and Amina and Roger DeBauch.
After an afternoon spent around their adorable little gathering place, she decided on the Merriment family being her primary focus, receiving the most attention and the least control of their own fates. All three families will be largely controlled, but not to the same obsessive level as the Merriments.
They were given a farm, complete with a barn, cow, chickens, small garden plot with seed packets, and 100 Simoleons. Much more important, they were given a randomized mixed-breed puppy, Llewelyn, for protection and company.
Setup complete, let the great experiment begin!
#sims 4 decades challenge#sims 4 gameplay#ts4 decades challenge#ts4 decades of merriment#the sims 4 legacy#simblr#new simblr#ts4 screenshots#ts4 legacy
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hii no pressure to respond right away!! I know you're busy xD
I kinda want to get into digital art and drawing and make a tumblr too but it all seems like so much at once. Do you have any tips on how to start? Or any art tips either xD I really like your art style and you're like a really impressive person and you've inspired me to try sharing my art skills.
Thanks!! Hope you have a good day!
Hiya!! That’s so sweet and I’m honoured that you’ve found inspiration in my work🥺 thank you so much❤️
I myself am still struggling to navigate being an artist online but I have a few tips that will hopefully be helpful to anyone else out there!
• Hashtags
Using tags on your posts is always useful to have your art get attention, especially when you’re first starting out and you don’t have an audience yet. If I’m not seeing posts from the people I already follow then it’s almost always because I’ve found the post by looking through a fandom tag I’m interested in.
• Interaction
Interacting with your audience is a big one! It gets people interested in what you’re doing and forms a bond between you and other creators that drives you to continue sharing what you make. Comment and share others posts, ask questions in your own posts that get people to engage. It’s just a nice genuine way to have fun and be creative - you may even make friends!
•Consistency
Okay so this one can be hard to upkeep honestly and I’m not the best at it myself. Being consistent with posting is always gonna be a huge thing to keep in mind. Sometimes I’m inconsistent with how much I post, sometimes I’m inconsistent with what the actual content is (Although it’s completely up to you wether you stick to a single category/fandom or not - I find it definitely helps keep your audience if you’re sticking to a single fandom. I can’t say much though because I never have the attention span for it😭 ) Wether or not your posts stay within the same category though it’s still important to keep consistency in how regularly you post if you want your audience to stick around.
•Presentation
How the world sees you! This can be anything from your username, bio or to the art itself. Keep it authentic and really try and get across what you want people to see when they first glance at your page. Presentation in the art itself is a big thing because that’s what’s gonna attract people in the first place. Think about why people are interested - does your style have a certain niche that may peak people’s interest? Is there any way you can expand upon that?
Okay so most of that I sort of just pulled outta my ass- hopefully it helps though😭 when it comes to actual art tips I could talk on this for a while so I may make a separate post if people want to know specific stuff. Generally though just make sure you find a software you’re comfortable with and get to know it well - practice your art and anything you think it needs improvement on! Hope this helps❤️
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so i’ve been on acotar tumblr for a while and i’m just getting the hang of tagging correctly
firstly do u think it’s important to tag correctly or is it just chronically online people complaining?
if i wanted to post an anti nesta post would i tag it anti nesta or just nesta? or is it wrong to tag it in the nesta tag
Hello! I have a lot of thoughts about this, so here is my thinking.
I think the main thing is tagging correctly for yourself and then thinking about the fandom second.
Tagging serves a few purposes:
Organizing your own blog
Helping people find your content
Helping people avoid your content
Personally, I don't bother with pro tags because the assumption is that if I am in the fandom, I generally like the things. Yeah, sometimes I get critical, but that's normal? I'm not out here acting like everything is sunshine and rainbows but I am still generally a fan. If someone is so, so sensitive about people's opinions on fictional characters then they can block me.
I personally feel like the "pro" tag keeps us from thinking about things with nuance. If I tag something "Nesta Archeron", that means I am talking about her as a fan of the series and that I can see her character for all her flaws and strengths. That's it. The "pro" tag feels redundant to me, basically. I'm in the fandom, of course I like the thing? I am spending my free time talking about it. That's just the underlying assumption of... being.... in a fandom!!!!! That you like the thing!
The only reason I will ever tag something anti is if I am vehemently against the thing and I want to keep people away from that content. Literally the only anti tag I ever use is antielriel because I detest that ship and I want people to stay the hell away from me because they get like rabid dogs about it. That's it. I don't tag "anti Eris" even though I don't like him because I assume that, since I am here in the fandom enjoying things, people can be grown-ups and realize that my opinion is my opinion on a fictional character and it isn't personal. I'm still in the fandom, which is ultimately, inherently a "pro" space.
Re: Nesta, if you really, really dislike her and have absolutely nothing good to say, then maybe use the anti tag. Misspell her name too, or else it will show in the regular tags. Ultimately it's up to you, not what other people want. If people dislike your opinions on her, they can block you! It's not your responsibility to keep randos online "safe" from your opinions on fictional characters.
If someone is crying because they saw something they didn't like online, sorry buddy but that's a hazard of being online. Tagging is a privilege, not a right. Life doesn't come with hashtags and warnings, not all websites work to protect you from yourself, so it's is always, always, at the end of the day, about the individual user doing what they need to do to keep themselves away from content they don't want.
*sorry I keep adding on to this but imagine someone going to only-ducks dot com and then being like "DUCKS TRIGGER MEEEE". No lol. Fandom encompasses a lot of opinions, many of them will not align with yours (general "you", not you anon) and so crying about someone who feels differently than we do and expecting them to change their behavior to accommodate your feelings seems juvenile and unrealistic to me.
I find fights about tagging to be a bit ridiculous, just people looking for a fight because they are bored or want the moral high ground. It's not that fucking deep, if people don't like how someone tags, they can block that user and move on. Maybe let them know, but if they respond poorly, then definitely block and move on. I just blocked someone who tagged "anti elucien" and it showed up in the elucien tag yesterday. It's great. Saves time and sanity.
I know that not everyone agrees with me and that's fine. I think the main thing for you, anon, is to tag in a way that makes sense for your blog, and to not be the tagging police on other people's blogs.
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Week 3: Why Tumblr? Public Sphere?
Firstly, let’s discuss the public sphere. According to Dean (2023), there were 4.95 billion social media users worldwide, and on a smaller scale, there were approximately 21.3 million social media users in Australia (Kemp, 2023). Therefore, over the past decade, social media has become deeply ingrained in our daily lives. Platforms like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Youtube and TikTok have gained immense popularity and have transformed the way we interact with each other and consume content. The reason for this is these platforms have emerged as prominent spaces for public discourse, and, the impact of social media on social phenomena such as political discourse and the revitalization of Habermas’s public sphere, which is integral to deliberative democracies, raises concerns due to the widespread adoption of this technology (Kruse et al., 2018).
So, what is a public sphere? According to the infamous German philosopher Habermas (1991, as cited in Kruse et al., 2018) the public sphere is characterised as a space where individuals, who are private citizens, gather collectively to engage in reasoned deliberations aimed at advancing critical knowledge and affecting political transformation. Key prerequisites for the public sphere include unfettered access to information, equitable and safeguarded participation, and the absence of institutional influence.
Based on Habermas’s description of the public sphere, I can associate it with physical places like town’s squares, coffeehouses, and public meetings. However, by thinking “digitally”, those social media platforms have also emerged as prominent spaces for public discourse, which means they also facilitate communication and provide a platform for diverse voices to be heard. On the first impression, associating social media as a public sphere does make sense! Still, it is a subject of debate, although they meet the requisites of a public sphere (Kruse et al., 2018), there are plenty of things that are being “reviewed” by critics, such as the algorithm, echo chambers, and filter bubbles. Moreover, the concept of a public sphere in the context of social media is further complicated by additional factors such as privacy concerns, the spread of misinformation, and the commercialization of public discourse.
How about Tumblr? Although not as widely recognized as dominant platforms such as Facebook or X (formerly known as Twitter), Tumblr remains an active and diverse community (at least that is what I have been taught or found out by the time I was writing this week’s blog). My first impression of starting a Tumblr account is the ability to choose hashtags, which would be the basis for the algorithm to identify and feed contents for its users. What a great way to start on a new platform! That's what I had thought but after scrolling for about 20 minutes, I immediately concluded that this platform was a whole new world, every post presented to me was so different compared to those on the “other” platforms. How is it different? Because Tumblr is not what people prefer based on where I am from, and what I found was extensive interactions among individuals who are often marginalised or subject to heavy criticism in society. The interests within this group span various topics, including feminist ideologies, LGBTQ+ rights, and even NSFW contents (not so many) are as bright as day.
This keeps me thinking for the last few days, people are more “open” and actually presenting themselves, their deep thoughts on this platform, which do not often occur on other platforms that I have used. Maybe this is why I said it was a whole new world, because users are provided a unique platform to express themselves more freely, which can be particularly relevant when it comes to self presentation and body image (Reif et al., 2022). This is possible due to the platform’s affordance, which Pilipets and Paasonen (2022) refers to as the functionalities and features of a platform that shape users’ activities and interactions. In the case of Tumblr, its affordances enable users to curate and share content, connect with like-minded individuals or communities, and participate in discussion and exchanges. As a result, these affordances contribute to the formation of subcultures, and the circulation of user-generated content. Plus, the platform’s vernacular also contributes to its superiority, it encompasses the creative and expressive use of visual elements, memes, hashtags, and other forms of communication that are specific to the platform. In the case of Tumblr, platform vernacular includes the use of memes, screenshots, and visual contents as modes of critique, resistance, and engagement.
And, while it is subjective to claim that Tumblr is “better” than any social media platforms, Tumblr does offer unique features and advantages that appeal to certain users. Those are Anonymity and Privacy; Niche communities; Creative Expression; Less pressure for popularity; and openness and acceptance. For instance, as presented in Anne Reif, Insa Miller & Monika Taddicken (2022): “Love the Skin You‘re In”: An Analysis of Women’s Self-Presentation and User Reactions to Selfies Using the Tumblr Hashtag #bodypositive, Mass Communication and Society, the authors point out that selfies posted on Tumblr using feminist hashtags, such as #bodypositive, have the potential to depict greater diversity and authenticity compared to the established idea of female beauty and femininity. This suggests that Tumblr’s more permissive content guidelines have allowed for a wider range of body images and self-representations to emerge. Also, Tumblr has the potential to cultivate a supportive and empowering community by facilitating connections among users who have shared experiences and face common challenges regarding body image (Reif et al., 2022).
Ultimately, whether Tumblr is better than other social media platforms depends on individuals preferences and needs. Different platforms offer different features and cater to different audiences, so it’s important to choose the platforms that align with your interests and goals.
References
Dean, B. (2023). Social network usage & growth statistics: How many
people use social media in 2021? Backlinko.
Kemp, S. (2023). Digital 2023: Australia. DataReportal – Global Digital
Insights.
Lisa M. Kruse, Dawn R. Norris & Jonathan R. Flinchum. (2018). Social Media as a Public Sphere? Politics on Social Media, The Sociological Quarterly, 59:1, 62-84.
Pilipets, E., & Paasonen, S. (2020). Networked images and platform value: The affective economy of NSFW Tumblr. New Media & Society, 24(6), 1460-1481. https://doi.org/10.1177/1461444820918238
Reif, A., Miller, I., & Taddicken, M. (2020). “Love the skin you‘re in”: An analysis of women’s self-presentation and user reactions to selfies. Mass Communication and Society, 23, 3–261.
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The Prince of Shadows - Chapter Four
(images of Karl and Chris belong to this talented artist!)
AO3 version and previous chapters can be read here. Previous tumblr chapters can be read by checking the fic title hashtag at the end of the post.
Rating- T
Words- 1,736
Some implied Heisenfield here :3
None of this makes sense.
The light flicks on making Karl squint, his eyes straining against the computer light in the darkness making it hard to see now. “What are you doing in here?” Says a voice behind him.
Karl spins around in the desk chair. Chris. He doesn’t even bothering to make an attempt to hide what he was doing as he faces the other man, knowing Chris could have been standing there for ages before announcing himself. “I could ask you the same thing,” Karl huffs.
“You know all this is supposed to be for desk crew,” Chris folds his large arms across his chest, eyebrow arched and pointing at the spread of papers on the desk and computer tabs Karl has up, “You don’t have anything better to do?”
“Neither do you apparently,” Karl rolls his eyes. Nothing better to do than harass him.
Karl’s been holed up in the main planning room for the Hound Wolf Squad, the office space courtesy of the BSAA with it being on their grounds and all the tech a gift from Blue Umbrella. It’s a nice set up, Karl has never really appreciated it, let alone spent much time in it aside from briefings, but it is nice. He can work his way around a machine yet computers are a challenge and even he was able to access the records from the previous, botched, mission.
“Alright stop it. I’m the leader of this team, I got a right to be here. You’re being obsessive.” Chris fully enters the room, leaning over Karl to close out the computer and stack up the loose papers.
Karl sighs in defeat, trying not to be too broken up over Chris ruining hours of work. “No, I just want to know what happened.”
“And I told you yesterday when we got back, they moved it before we could move in.” Chris pulls up a chair from the planning table in the center of the room to sit opposite Karl, resting his elbows on his knees.
Karl didn’t trust that story then and he still doesn’t trust it now. It seems too easy, too convenient of a story. If it hadn’t come from Chris himself then he’d suspect a cover up. Well… more than he already does. “Nah. Something else. It was there and we knew it. Someone messed up.”
Chris sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose as if Karl’s incessancy is causing him a headache, “You’re such a control freak,” he growls.
“I’m doing my job,” Karl argues, “Yours too considering this was your op. You’re getting lazy.”
“I am not!” Chris sits straight upright at the accusation, anger drawn into the lines of his face. If they weren’t close Karl might think Chris would punch him. He still might.
Except it doesn’t matter to Karl whether or not he upsets Chris. He’s not about to stand by and let things go to shit at the sake of Chris’ feelings. “You took the job right? BSAA handed it to us and you just took them at their word? We should have done our own recon and made sure all of this was legit.”
“There’s no ‘we’ here, Karl. This is my team, you’re just part of it,” Chris’ voice is stern, no ounce of fondness for his friend and all anger towards an insubordinate employee, “Now I appreciate your input when I ask but that’s off the clock, alright? Me asking what you think is just dinner conversation.”
Karl is taken aback by his statement. Discarded to the side, just like that. Clearly they are very close. Not. “Well then you shouldn’t have gotten me involved,” he huffs.
“Maybe I shouldn’t have.”
The room falls silent. The only sound being the low humming of the computers running and the heating unit pumping air in. And the squeak of Karl’s chair when he moves to turn away from Chris, back to start his work again. Karl doesn’t need his approval. He’s his own person, no matter how many times he has to remind himself of that.
“Look, Karl, I’m sorry,” Chris sighs, placing his hand on Karl’s shoulder and spinning him back around. Despite his irritation with him, Karl allows it, “I don’t mean it like that, I’ll just stop involving you in team stuff when we’re not in the field. Alright?”
Karl looks at the floor, at the wall behind Chris, anywhere except at him directly, “I know that’s not how you meant it. It doesn’t matter- I still appreciate you trying. But this isn’t about me being obsessive or not having a hobby-“
“Which we still need to find you-“ Chris chuckles. Karl doesn’t reciprocate despite being the one to have set up the playful jab.
“Something about this just rubs me the wrong way. I don’t know what it is but it’s irritating the hell out of me,” Karl reaches behind him, goes to pick up some of the papers he’s printed out to show Chris. But Chris stops him, grabs his arms and holds them between the two of them.
“You trust me?” He asks, looking Karl in the eye now.
“Of course.” Karl nods,
“Then let me handle it-“ Chris slowly says every word like he’s making sure Karl hears each one and understands them.
“Chris-“
“No. Don’t. Let me handle it. I’ll let you know as soon as I hear anything. I promise. You’ll be the first I tell.” There’s so much sincerity in his eyes.
Karl can’t help but believe him.
“…Fine.”
“Thank you,” Chris smiles, “Now come on before you get in trouble.”
Karl rolls his eyes, scoffing as he and Chris both stand, not even bothering to return their chairs neatly, “What are they gonna do? Ground me? Lock me in my apartment?”
“You never know,” Chris shrugs, following behind Karl to make sure he leaves.
Karl looks back to him, questioning, “You really think they would? After all this time?”
Chris laughs, turning out the light as they exit into the central promenade of the BSAA compound, “You so much as sneeze and bend the Eiffel tower then you’re gonna find yourself in a windowless lab.” Coming from anyone else it would have been offensive, but Karl has always given Chris a pass.
Still, he only rolls his eyes at the dig, “Okay well for the record it takes more than just a sneeze for that. I’m not a child, I’ve got a handle on it.”
“Oh so it was possible once?” Chris elbows him, sending Karl slightly off balance and it reminds Karl of teenagers in the movies he’d see on TV growing up. Sometimes he wishes their lives were that simple.
“Alright enough,” Karl shoves him back but Chris doesn’t budge easily, “I wouldn’t do that you know it. I kinda like the fresh air, I wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize this freedom.” Maybe Karl is more sensitive about it than he thought.
Chris sensing the tension ends his teasing, “I know. I wouldn’t let them do that to you anyway.”
“I know. I trust you.” He truly does. Chris is the first person Karl ever truly trusted. The first person to make themselves trustworthy to him.
“Good. So quit looking over your shoulder like you’re thinking of going back in there.” Caught. Karl had been sending glances back to the door they’d just left and he wasn’t as slick as he thought he was.
“Fine, fine. I’ll stop,” Karl grins.
Karl’s apartment isn’t far from the compound. It’s still within walking distance and it’s less of an apartment than it is BSAA regulated housing for employees. Still, it beats a single room in an underground lab by miles.
“Do you want me to stay?” Chris asks while waiting on Karl to unlock the door. Chris lives on the other side of the complex, at least part time when he isn’t in Europe or some other country being a hero, but he still takes the time to make sure Karl gets home. Karl still doesn’t know if it’s because he’s just being nice or if he thinks he’s protecting him. He doesn’t mind it either way.
“I thought we talked about this already, Chris,” Karl sighs, knowing what he’s truly asking.
“I know but,” Chris seems reluctant.
Karl takes a deep breath, leaving his keys in the door and turning to face the taller man, “I’ve spent a lot of my time alone. A quiet apartment for a night isn’t going to kill me. What do you think I do when you can’t get away with staying? Besides, I thought we had an agreement.” He tries to sound as convincing as possible.
Now it’s Chris’ turn to look anywhere except Karl. He seems every bit the robotic soldier when he says, “You don’t want anything else-“
“I don’t know how to have anything else. And I don’t want you thinking you have to give that to me because you feel sorry for me.” Karl turns back around to get his door open, it’s too cold out to be having this conversation outdoors.
“And I already told you it’s not because I feel sorry for you,” Chris seems a bit too much like he’s pleading with Karl. And he’d believe that this was something Chris really wanted if he hadn’t convinced himself that it was in fact purely because he felt bad for Karl.
Karl would allow it if he felt even the slightest of an ounce human.
“Don’t care. You’ve got all the fiends in the world and instead you choose to babysit my ass,” Karl tries to spin it back around to jokes, standing in the doorway to prevent Chris from bullying his way in.
“I wouldn’t call it babysitting.”
“You’ve been babysitting me since they decided I was useful.”
They stare at each other in the dimness, the moonlight creating dark shadows over Chris’ face and the lone lit lamp inside Karl’s apartment illuminating him from behind. In this moment Karl wishes that powers beyond his own existed so he could wish them to be normal. In a different world they can exist without being a super soldier and a bioweapon on a leash.
“Just go home Chris,” Karl says quietly before all his regrets start to build up.
“Only if you promise you leave the mission alone.” Chris is serious, less sentimental. Good.
“Promise.”
“Thank you.”
#resident evil#Chris redfield#Karl Heisenberg#re8#fanfic#heisenfield#Chris redfield x Karl Heisenberg#implied anyway#okay let’s be honest they got something in the past here#the prince of shadows
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From:- 🥀
Yo ✌️
This is me after i saw u still used my old username in the hashtags or whatever they're called in Tumblr lang.
Anyways, u see I'm literally typing this at 3:02pm , right , as u answer other asks so tht u cn answer my ask with them 😏😏😏😏😏
Yeah I agree those Pakistani dramas do be having the same story , the girl marries the guy she doesn't loves (who's most probably her second cousin) , she goes thru oppression and idkw by the fam, but still survives it , then the husband slowly and gradually starts falling in love but then the girl's father dies, which leaves her in depression, the boys fam take this as an opportunity to confiscate the property of the girls hich is left by her dead father, bcz she was the only kid and her mother has eventually gone crazy due to the loss of her husband , the sister of the husband decided to add more salt to the wound somehow the MCs fight but the female protagonist finds out she's pregnant oh no and somehow things fall in place , the boys family is exposed and they apologise which leads to a happy ever after. 😀
My mom made me interested in the Pak dramas but honestly with all honesty they're faaarrr better thn Indian dramas.
I truly spent 30 min of my life to watch the live stream i missed by KQ only to realise it's just water and strong winds, then went to an interpretation video bcz ofc I'm dumb. And now i realise WE HV GEMS RLLY!!! GEMSSS! I MEAN CMON THTS ONE WAY TO PROMOTE 😭😭 hats off to KQ.
And WHAT IS THT HWA COMEBACK PIC LIKE EXCUSE ME?? DID U ACTUALLY WANT US TO DIE EYE-
Dude the other day my mum was like here lemme show u something and then opened this YouTube channel of this girl from a punjabi-hindu family who married a korean guy and was like "they look cute don't they?"
"these days many PPL are doing inter-racial marriages." "I like this type of diversity"
I WAS LIKE WAIT AM I SUPPOSED TO TAKE A HINT??? IS THIS U GIVING ME ALLOWANCE I CN DATE IN THE FUTURE WHO IW ANT WHICH I FOR SURE KNOW IS GNNA BE A KOREAN GUY OR SOMEWHAT SIMILAR BCZ MY STANDARDS ARE SO FREAKING HIGH RN *but i won't mind if he's from my country as well as long as he treats me well but- nvm*
Also my crush situation is messed up like idekw i had a crush and why things happened but ok....weird things happen
Also bae another Indian kpop idol!!! YAAAASSSSS
*i also simp for korean football players*
https://www.instagram.com/p/CjLoCcspOm0/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧 they grow up so fast (not my acting like a mom)
https://www.instagram.com/p/Cjqkf0lttb_/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= ah-
https://www.instagram.com/p/CjxnaAzNbG5/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= if this is old , how come i miss all the good content???
Okieee buh byeee tc bestie ✨
hello!! i just kept the tag bc it tells me who it is bc i will forget dbdb
Anyways, u see I'm literally typing this at 3:02pm , right , as u answer other asks so tht u cn answer my ask with them 😏😏😏😏😏 ///// Yeah I agree those Pakistani dramas do be having the same story , the girl marries the guy she doesn't loves (who's most probably her second cousin) , she goes thru oppression and idkw by the fam, but still survives it , then the husband slowly and gradually starts falling in love but then the girl's father dies, which leaves her in depression, the boys fam take this as an opportunity to confiscate the property of the girls hich is left by her dead father, bcz she was the only kid and her mother has eventually gone crazy due to the loss of her husband , the sister of the husband decided to add more salt to the wound somehow the MCs fight but the female protagonist finds out she's pregnant oh no and somehow things fall in place , the boys family is exposed and they apologise which leads to a happy ever after. 😀
LMFAOOOO IM SORRY I DIDNT SEE BC I PASSED OUT FHWKDHWK yeah! most of them time its the second cousin marriage trope and i cant watch it tbh the only one i did was the suno chanda,, it was cute but it could’ve been LITERALLY ANYONE BESIDE COUSINS INTO AN ARRANGE MARRIAGE AND ID WATCH IT MORE
My mom made me interested in the Pak dramas but honestly with all honesty they're faaarrr better thn Indian dramas. //// I truly spent 30 min of my life to watch the live stream i missed by KQ only to realise it's just water and strong winds, then went to an interpretation video bcz ofc I'm dumb. And now i realise WE HV GEMS RLLY!!! GEMSSS! I MEAN CMON THTS ONE WAY TO PROMOTE 😭😭 hats off to KQ.
ur mom is so correct, indian drama’s bring me headaches 📉📈📉 but sometimes the fights be mad interesting,,, LMFAOOOO 30 MINS WATCHING A WATER ASMR IN A MALL WHAT A TEASER 😭😭😭😭 THE PROMO TEAM RLY HATS OFF
And WHAT IS THT HWA COMEBACK PIC LIKE EXCUSE ME?? DID U ACTUALLY WANT US TO DIE EYE- ///// Dude the other day my mum was like here lemme show u something and then opened this YouTube channel of this girl from a punjabi-hindu family who married a korean guy and was like "they look cute don't they?" ////// “these days many PPL are doing inter-racial marriages." "I like this type of diversity"
they say they like this type of diversity until it’s someone form their own family 😭😭🤚🏼
I WAS LIKE WAIT AM I SUPPOSED TO TAKE A HINT??? IS THIS U GIVING ME ALLOWANCE I CN DATE IN THE FUTURE WHO IW ANT WHICH I FOR SURE KNOW IS GNNA BE A KOREAN GUY OR SOMEWHAT SIMILAR BCZ MY STANDARDS ARE SO FREAKING HIGH RN *but i won't mind if he's from my country as well as long as he treats me well but- nvm* //// Also my crush situation is messed up like idekw i had a crush and why things happened but ok....weird things happen
LMFAOOOO 😭😭😭😭 see my trust in brown men has 📉📉📉 its rare to find a really nice one bc they’re all just wanna be gangsters 😭😭
Also bae another Indian kpop idol!!!YAAAASSSSS /// *i also simp for korean football players*
the no.9 jersey & son >>> but i have to say the brazilian ones are 😮💨😮💨
https://www.instagram.com/p/CjLoCcspOm0/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= //// 🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧 they grow up so fast (not my acting like a mom) //// https://www.instagram.com/p/Cjqkf0lttb_/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= ah-
san as a kid is so cute 😭😭 bro would be scared of what he’s on stage today fbwndbsn AND ABSOLUTELY NOT.
https://www.instagram.com/p/CjxnaAzNbG5/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= if this is old , how come i miss all the good content??? //// Okieee buh byeee tc bestie ✨
ITS LIKE TWO MONTHS OLD FBWMDHSK BUT ALWAYS GOOD CONTENT
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*I'll be continually updating, so please be patient with me.
Who am I?
My name's Anna. I'm an unlicensed exophonic writer, you may or not know me as Faith Dante. I'm an artist student, wannabe actress, designer (fashion, logo & books), singer, translator, lyricist & more.
I study whatever I find interesting. Mostly related to art, music, fashion, architecture, makeup and cinema. I'm a blogger and a vlogger. An artist, obsessed with knowledge. But also languages and linguistics.
I am currently studying several languages. And I plan to keep doing it so because I love them a lot.
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March 2024: 'Kay...
#1 I'll keep posting my old stories and pics when I come back.
#2 I am currently writing Fit or Die, so wait for it!!
* Stopped studying French because it keeps messing up with my writing skills and I have to learn other things rn 💔
* I've stopped working on my drawing skills because I'm writing... 😭🥺
* and working out
* Turns out my ballet teacher wants me on the scenario so I don't have a lot of time and I have to get ready for June.
* Hiatus on Tumblr but I'm on IG rn.
* I'm still writing, I'm keeping my social media activity somewhat low.
* I have to finish my Reading List 2024. ★I'll be sharing the rest of the books and updating with y'all later on because it's not the whole list. But my hands hurt already from typing that much.★
* Also these are my projects right now.
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