mr toro knows how to slay

x

ra ta tooey

am i more than you bargained for yet?

lost focus and had a consensual workplace relationship

Posting something after being dead for weeks cause the fact that I'm an regular active user is my April Fool to you guys

Alt version under the cut

in light of the coming sans vs cecil finale, i have to say that there is no bad outcome to this now. you did it. you mad sons of bitches, you did it. we could vote this like a true sexyman showdown or we could vote this for a gag, it doesn't matter anymore. but most importantly, the question that this poll raises is...

WHERE is the undertale/wtnv crossover episode where cecil announces monsterkind's return to the surface right outside of town. because "thousands of weird creatures came out of the nearby people-eating mountain after millennia of imprisonment and are currently settling into town via wacky hijinks" is a VERY night vale thing to happen

(UPDATE: you should check the full post cause i swear to god if y'all mention the goddamn mountains again)

@saturnsatnin HAS STOLEN MY WORK

So I wrote this fic for a collab back in early November and this person has decided to steal not only the entire thing, but my requests and drabbles too. I haven’t had a proper look but I am SHAKING with anger. The only thing they changed is the characters involved. I’m not sure if they’ve stolen anyone else’s work, but you know people like this are too lazy and in creative to write their own stuff so please make sure to see if anything of yours has been stolen.

I am FUMING I have no idea what to do in this situation.

you were raised in comparison.

it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.

you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.

you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.

what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.

it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.

you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.

you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?

a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.

you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.

it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.

something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.

I want a Steve who genuinely doesn't want to play DnD because it's just not his thing! He enjoys watching and thinks some of it seems fun, but just isn't interested in the time commitment, or the math, or various other parts of it.

HOWEVER he does demand, like a child when they find out someone is writing a book, to be put in every single campaign as a random npc. He doesn't want to sit down for hours roleplaying, but he does want that seductress in the tavern to have good hair and be named Stevana.

And this isn't like, something the others don't know about, it's very obvious who it is each campaign. Sometimes Eddie even convinces Steve to do the voice for the character if it's a fun one and Steve isn't at work. Steve enjoys how much it both amuses and gets on various Hellfire members nerves, especially because his characters are always... Pretty out there.

Gareth and Jeff tend to be amused by Steve's characters, unless they are actively getting in their way and even then Jeff at least normally just finds them hilarious. Freak continues to want to study Steve like a bug. A crowd favorite for the CC members but a point of annoyance for the Party was the character that Steve pitched that was infatuated with that quest's main villain and would appear randomly just to say something really suggestive about the big bad, inconvenience them somehow even in a really minor way, and then dip. They were definitely supposed to be rescuing Stefano at one point but he was basically kidnapping himself at several points. Dustin is perpetually annoyed because Steve won't play with them for real, but he WILL play a random bimbo that starts them on a quest and enjoys flirting with the older members characters.

(Will and Lucas are... Maybe a little disappointed he's never flirted with their characters but also, Steve would never do that lol.)

Eddie is fine with it, he thinks this is a great compromise. He gets that Steve doesn't want to do hours long storytelling sessions, but this way he still gets to enjoy time with Steve doing one of his favorite things - creating characters and writing the most annoying stories possible. He loves that Steve is participating in even just a small way, and honestly only having him participate for a little bit at a time is better for Eddie's ability to stay on task anyway. He knows Steve wouldn't have fun being a player but he also knows Steve loves being a problem.

couple more, because I'm incapable of thinking about anything else apparently! I promise I'll stop soon (depending on what the June schedule says)

(please don't make me wait another three months for the next part, I'm gonna explode)

Ranger: Can I try to take one of the orc’s tusks?

DM (me): *sighs* Are we really doing this again?

Ranger: I swear I’m not gonna make another teeth chandelier

Monk, Bard, and Cleric: A what.

Simeon: Stop eating crab legs! How would you feel if someone cracked your legs open and ate your insides?

MC: See, me personally-

Lucifer: MC!

MC: I didn't actually say it! I was gonna say it!- But I didn't!

Reformed Dan but misunderstandings suck

So, Dan has been Reformed for Years at this point. You could go with the Fandom Typical version of just chilling out, or you could go with the AGIT version of the Redemption. Either way, Dan is fully reformed and trying to find his way in the World.

Unfortunately, not everybody knows/believes him.

You know all those Time Traveling Heroes who came back to stop some great catastrophe? That was Dan.

Impulse is fucking terrified of this guy, cause he Grew Up in the Central City Stronghold and saw Phantom tear down the Walls protecting the City in person.

Booster Gold grew up in the Metropolis Stronghold, so while he never really saw Phantom in his timeline he still did know of him. I mean, obviously, he murdered every hero on the planet and subjugated most of the world, but he doesn't have much personal stake in that.

Eobard Thawn hates Phantom. Thawn himself grew up in a world where Phantom killed every Hero in the world, and he was terrified that Phantom would track him down when he tried to become the new Flash. But once he became a Walking Paradox he saw as Time itself changed to erase Phantom from existence, he got really jealous. Why did Time decide Phantom was bad enough to erase, why not him!? He's Evil! He's a Terror on the Timeline! He deserves Clockworks attention dammit!

And then, they discover evidence that Phantom has come back in Time,

So now, any and all Time Travelers are trying to find the guy who single-handedly was the Apocalypse, and want to kill him to save the world. Or out of Jealousy in Thawns case.

Either way, no matter where Dan goes to try and settle down, a bunch of annoying Heroes always find him and attack him, yelling about "Stopping his Plans" and "Saving the Timeline!" And "It should have been me dammit!"

Honestly Thawn is the most annoying one, he just runs in and rants at him about how he is jealous of how much attention Clockwork gave him. Dude, just sdmit your crush already and leave me alone. (I'm not sorry)