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csuitebitches · 2 years

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Things I Learned from my Start Up

And things I wished business school had taught me.

Very important to understand contracts, shareholders agreements and legal things. Get the best lawyer money can buy

Equal equity split (all cofounders hold the same amount of shares) can turn some investors off because of dilution

It’s very important to do constant MVPs. It’s the most cost effective way at building a physical product. Check MVP types online to see what resonates with you the best

Understand the finance and costing even if you are not the CFO

Bootstrap for as long as you can. Getting an investor is an achievement but remember - it’s a massive responsibility. If you can pay for certain expenses on your own, keep it that way

Diversity has its pros and cons. People from different backgrounds can interpret things differently. Make sure you follow up to see that they’ve understood

We used free apps like Trello (task management) and Toggl (time management) for the team

Use fiverr to outsource your work like data research, market research, doing tasks that are monotonous and do not require too much decision making

Enter pitch competitions, even if you aren’t ready. It will shape you up and teach you things about your own product that you may not have envisioned. Use LinkedIn to source them out

Use Crunchbase to look for your competitors. Don’t be delusional and say that you’re so unique that you don’t have competitors

10 survey responses that say they’ll buy from your business ≠ actual sales

Y Combinator has a free entrepreneurship course. It’s short and doable. Definitely do it.

Weekly team meetings are a necessity

Triple check the pitch deck before you present

Can’t trust all long term employees- time does not equate necessarily equate trust

Give and receive a receipt for every single transaction

Note down every single transaction that goes and comes in, regardless if it’s cash or card

Credit notes should not be used for large amounts

Minutes of the meeting are important. Ensure it’s signed off by attending members

Bitching/ gossiping about an employee or cofounder will find a way back

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lazylittledragon · 1 month

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tattoo designs for the portfolio >:))

ps: these aren't for sale and please don't use them bc i'm trying really hard to get an apprenticeship thank you!!

#art #tattoo #i need to do about 50 more sheets to give myself a fighting chance when i start asking around #a place near me is Potentially taking an apprentice so i need to hurry up #i got advice from the apprentice at the last place i got tattooed and she said she only got a yes when she found her style #i think my niche is raccoons in distress

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patheticbatman · 3 months

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I haven't seen any posts about this yet but l've seen some fan art that makes me feel this needs to be said:

Don't forget Leah Sava Jeffries has darker skin when making Annabeth Chase fan art!

She is much closer to Lupita Nyong'o than Zoe Kravitz when it comes to shading, reflection, and complementary color usage :).

Lighting for dark skin is different on light skin. Light skin gets changed by lighting, and dark skin reflects the lighting. Below is a lovely shot of Nyong'o's character from Wakanda Forever in mourning. The filmmakers emphasize the umber qualities of her skin in contrast to the funereal white and (arguably harsh) light across her shoulder below.

Try to pick spots that aren't directly in or near the light, and try mixing 3 or more! You can put it into a color mixer online, or even color pick, lower the opacity, and lay the shades over each other until you find one that fits. And of course, the more 'realistic' you want to go with shading and lighting, the more shades you're going to want to be able to explore vivaciously :D.

Let's take a look at the same 3 beautiful actresses I mentioned at the beginning, with a bad color picked area and a better-ish color picked area. (Please keep in mind, these are not perfect comparisons, as I was not able to find pictures of all 3 actresses under the same kind of lighting.)

Kravitz's has a clear difference between the two, but they aren't too far apart, in comparison to Nyong’o’s and Jeffries’s. Note the dullness in the poorly picked shades as opposed to the better ones. Also keep in mind that while Kravitz has a rosy undertone (at least in that picture - it’s from The Batman, which has stylized coloring) Nyong’o has a slight cool undertone (I can’t pin down quite what, but the picture is definitely not stylized like Kravitz’s).

Jeffries runs more ochre or russet, but neither of those are pink. They are more red than terracotta or umber, but to call Jeffries’s face rosy would be wrong. Err more towards the golden when drawing her.

^^saved an image from a writing tutorial long ago, but can’t seem to find it. If someone recognizes it, I’ll link it. EDIT: it’s from this post. Thanks @autumnrowancollector ! <3

And also, the darker skin gets, the less likely warm undertones are going to appear. Don't be afraid to use blue or purple or even green on occasion!

Additionally, cool lighting on dark skin is always a win imo.

(I was going to use that picture of Jeffries as Annabeth by the lightning bolt, but then I realized the lighting on her face doesn’t quite match up with where it should hit from that angle, and I realized they kind of just turned everything bluer, so screenshot time!)

(Also if you want another really great live action example, check out anything Aldis Hodge is in, like Leverage and Black Adam)(and of course there’s Spiderverse <3 but I want to post pictures of Hodge)

Now, to here’s a list of more experienced people’s advice:

Black facial features & hair

Shading digitally for a (somewhat) monotone Black character

Stylistic choices and places to start looking for inspiration (besides a search engine).

Coloring Black people’s lips

A better coloration tutorial

Also a nice tutorial for Indigenous skin tones, just in case yall want to draw Piper or use this information for other dark skinned characters :).

EDIT: Some actresses who are closer in skintone to use for Annabeth, provided by the lovely @blackfemmecharacterdependency ! If you can’t find a reference for Jeffries in a specific lighting, maybe check out these ladies’ pictures! It’s a reblog, so scroll down.

TLDR: Don’t make Annabeth pink and pale, make her dark and golden.

#Annabeth chase #Percy Jackson #percabeth #leah sava jeffries #pjo #leah jeffries #art tutorial #percy jackon and the olympians #I love superheroes and so of course all of the actors I thought of were from superhero movies lmao #also for the record my advice is mostly from reading others’ tutorials and observation #and I don’t really use it a lot because I stick to lineart a lot lol #like down to mentioning Hodge (love himmmm) as a reference for good lighting on dark skin #there’s another post floating around here that specifically mentions him and Leverage for that #I’m tagging this as an art tutorial but really i want it to be more of a master post #master post so yall can see the tutorials I usually use #but then I ended up writing about Jeffries specifically because I’m dumb #I wanted to go to sleep four hours ago I’m dumb #I really want to draw her and ginger Percy but #irl it’s starting to get busy at school again :/

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kiiingsnake · 3 months

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Thank you for answering that mecha ask, it was very helpful!! Though if I may, could I ask if you have any advice/tips for people who are new(ish) to drawing mecha? or just struggling in general I guess

first off, sorry for taking so long to answer this- it made me really have to think about how the hell i structure my mecha drawings in the first place. so here's my best advice, structured in a very on-brand confusing and shitty manner:

really, when you're just starting out its all about taking a base shape and warping it. the biggest thing is exaggeration- what you exaggerate and where you do so really does depend on your own tastes/goals for the robot. high exaggeration reads as super mechanical/otherworldly/technical, while keeping it close to the base shapes you want to replicate will make it seem more organic.

a good thing to remember the whole time is that you're putting a shell around a frame! it's like trying to draw an animal but with only hard bits (well, most of the time). so your base shape layouts aren't exactly indicative of what will be your mecha's internal and external structure. you can exaggerate inwards to make it seem like, say, an armored skeleton, or only exaggerate outwards to seem like a carapace on a bug. it's really just a whole lot of pushing and pulling within your original silhouette and weights!

#art #my art #art advice #mecha #sorry for any spelling errors i simply just. dont know how to do it.#but this is the best i can come up with! a lot of my robots look very different from each other but they all sorta boil down to this #and #as a reminder #i cannot really teach you how to draw. i can only teach you how to draw like me #this isn't the correct or only way to think about or do it by any means! but its what makes it easiest for me #and its the advice i would give to anyone starting out

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lazuliquetzal · 4 months

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I keep on telling people you're the only one who knows how to plot. Can you teach all of us how to plot, please? I love you.

I AM SUMMONED? PLOT BRAIN SUMMONED?

I love plotting. It's my favorite part of the writing process. Plot is "things that happen" and the best part of writing is imagining things that happen. I'm going to assume that whoever may be reading this knows how to imagine The Happenings, so I'm gonna be talking more about structure, but in like, a kinda abstract sense.

A good plot is a little bit more than a string of events. Plot is like music: there's variation in rhythm and sound and melody, but ultimately there's cohesion, because it's all one song. You can have a bunch of wild things happening, but no matter how strange, there should be something that links them all together, because you're telling one story.

Plot structures are patterns in stories. I'm pretty sure most of them were developed as analysis tools (as in, story already exists > look! it follows this pattern) rather than as writing tools, but people use them as writing tools because it's a neat little way to organize the chaos that is "shit happens." Stories follow patterns for the same reasons music follows patterns: we enjoy the certainty of hitting certain beats. But we also like being surprised. A good pop song doesn't sound like a random collection of sounds, but it also doesn't sound like the middle slider of other songs.

There is this shared concept in both music and writing: the idea of tension and release. Basically, you're playing with reader expectation: there's an imbalance in the experience (tension), and we want to see that imbalance resolved (release). All the common plot structures deal with this basic pattern:

You set an expectation

There are complications to the expectation

You meet the expectation

And this rhythm is happening on multiple levels in writing. Scenes follow this structure (we're gonna get past that door, we're gonna find the murder weapon, we're gonna collaborate and come up with a plan) and all those scenes feed into the overarching expectation (we're gonna solve this murder!). I usually think of chapters as their own mini-story, part of the larger whole. And I think of scenes as their own mini-story, part of the larger chapter. I have engineer brain. I see the gears spinning in the clock. That's why all my chapters have at least One Important Thing happening, because that's that particular chapter's Step #3.

And One Last Important Thing:

In music, a delayed resolution is almost always more interesting than the standard resolution. In writing, that means you wanna drag out Step #2 for as long as you can. That's where the bulk of the story is happening, that's how you build tension, that's how you get people to turn the page.

So when you write a fake dating fic, those bitches better not get together until the very end. I came here for fake dating, not for real dating, damn it. If you resolve that expectation early on, you better replace it with a different expectation that's just as engaging.

But also don't drag it out for too long. Sorry. The hard part of writing is learning the difference between too short and too long. Writing is unfortunately a nuanced skill which is why my advice is like "do this but not too much teehee." But tension and resolution is just rhythm, you can build a sense for it if you engage with enough stories.

#asks #yellowocaballero #writing #writing advice #THANKS FOR ASKING ME THIS MEG I LOVE PLOT I WILL TALK ABOUT HER ALL DAY AND I LOVE YOU TOO #i haven't read a fake dating fic in a long time i just brought it up because it was the first Trope Thing that came to mind #i didn't go into different plot structures because i was trying to boil them all down into the very basic building block of question-answer #but if anyone's curious i usually favor a circular plot structure #the ending reflects the beginning. the song loops: the same beats but with new perspective. cycles.#and by that i mean 'story starts with dink being mean to time' and 'story ends with dink being mean to time (but now it's affectionate)#lazuli talks

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specialbluehens · 1 year

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i think it would be very silly, a little hee hee funny, if shane ended up put in an older sibling role (without trying) to the younger bachelors/bachelorettes

#it starts with sam @ joja #asking for advice esp while kent is gone & shane is like 🤨 ay yo idc #but eventually shane will just. casually answer sam's questions. maybe he likes him. no. it's bc answering will get sam to shut up #shut up #& then one day he's passing by alex who's trying to perfect the way he throws his gridball #cue former griball player shane: ur form sucks #alex gets mad & asks shane to do it better then #shane does it perfectly & alex suddenly asks if shane can show him #shane is confused but goes step by step #& then alex just starts asking more questions later & shane is like ????? ok?????#& then one day while it's raining sebastian stops shane & asks him if therapy rlly does help #& shane is like dude idk if i can rlly talk to u abt this go 2 ur mom #sebastian looks so sad tho #so shane does explain it & the process #seb continues going to shane with questions #this cycle continues with the other younger bachelors/bachelorettes #until shane has this gaggle that follows him & he's so confused as to why this is happening #emily thinks it's rlly funny #shane is groaning & slamming his head on the table the entire time #ramblings #my headcanons

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borderlinereminders · 2 years

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Some real talk here…

It is really hard on your friends and/or loved ones when you accuse them of not loving and/or caring about you. I know those feelings are near impossible to control and that’s really valid. But so often, it can be hurtful to our loved ones to hear the accusations that they don’t care.

It took me a long time to work on correcting this harmful behaviour (and yes, it is harmful - but it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person) and while I haven’t changed the feelings, I have learned to challenge them and self soothe.

I keep a screenshot folder of messages that made me feel good and can affirm I am loved. If I feel like my partner doesn’t love me, I look at those screenshots and challenge my thoughts.

Example:

Q: Why do I think he doesn’t love me?

A: Because he hasn’t replied to me in a few hours.

Q: Is there an alternative explanation for why he hasn’t replied?

A: Yes. He could be having a really busy day at work.

Q: What is the evidence that he does love me?

A: This is where I look at screenshots. I also keep a list of things he’s done that show he loves me.

Sometimes this helps, and sometimes I need more. If I need more, I do message him but I do it in non-accusing way. My message might look something like this (this is a copy and paste from a text earlier this week) “I’m feeling insecure. My BPD is being rude. Could you please give me some reassurance?”

It’s okay to need reassurance. And it’s okay to ask for reassurance. But I think it’s important to find healthy ways to do this that work in your relationships.

You may not be able to control your feelings, but you can learn to control how you react to them.

#also I’m pretty sure the way I challenge thoughts #is an actual dbt skill #I started doing it on my own and someone pointed out to me #it’s a taught skill #if I remember or someone else knows #I’ll put in the tags what the skill is #so people can actually look it up #since I bet the official explanation is better #bpd reminders #bpd advice #bpd tips

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s-aint-elmo · 1 year

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no thoughts head empty the oppressive stagnancy of legacy in ever after high dragging me round the block yet again

it's such a shame that we get so little explanation about the actual mechanics of destiny, which is the entire premise of the show, bc it's so juicy. like what power does destiny hold when you rip away milton's lies and centuries of assumptions and traditions. esp bc despite raven signing herself as the evil queen in the real storybook of legends, when the snow white fairytale actually happens in dragon games she's playing one of the seven dwarves and her mother has reprised her role. like how much of that was because of the characters' actions and how much was destiny pulling on old, familiar threads. keeps me up at night.

a lot of this is probably just like, plot holes and writer hot potato but i like making it that deep, that's half of the fun. my personal interpretation is that fate is a wild thing that desires repetition and they developed the system of fairytale legacy bloodlines to keep those repetitions predictable and contained, instead of wreaking havoc whenever and wherever they please.

which lends itself to some really juicy exploration of how legacy is a duty as much as it is a privilege, and how to be a princess or a witch or a hero or a dragon is to be the same thing in the end: the lamb destiny slaughters on the altar to sate the ever-ravenous narrative. to keep the flock safe. keep the unknown that prowls beyond the beaten path at bay. because if a there is always a mother who will be cruel, or a maiden who will fall into a sleep like death, or a child who will become a bird, isn’t it better to know who, and how, and when? isn’t better if it’s you, who has known your whole life that you must be eaten, be poisoned, be stripped of your humanity, rather than anybody else, who wasn’t raised to see it as an honour instead of a great and terrible injustice?

#ever after high #mine #remember when apple asked snow white for advice on yester day and she had nothing useful to say? bc all the problems in her life were #solved by a smile a friend and true love's kiss?#and apple got to experience being disappointed by the parent she placed on a pedestal for the first time ever? that was really fun #don't even get me started by how the class of classics are all called by the names of their roles that is sooooo fun and fucked up #the mantle of your legacy is so large and so heavy that it swallows you up entirely #ik it's for convenience's sake but simply imagine with me. surrendering your true name once your tale begins to bind to the retelling #more strongly. invite the eye of the narrative to fix on you. set destiny on its well-worn tracks and drive it smoothly #to happily ever after #i love the idea of the retellings being ritualistic to an extent. there is so much you could do w destiny #how destiny is a crutch too that prevents u fr growing as a person bc there is nothing life can start that u haven't already seen finished

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pcktknife · 3 months

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my art is good and I know what I'm doing and I'm not going to lose my mind in frustration or anything at all.

#word of advice if you are an artist please for the love of good pick up a different hobby/alt medium so u can do that instead when #art starts pissing you off.#im going open my sketchbook and if i cant do anything im gonna start crying (u_u)#ball and chain of a hobby i swear #if i do draw something good ill have thrown this fit for nothing ( -_-)...#kae.txt #itll pass 👍🏾

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reineydraws · 1 year

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i have a soft spot for fics where billy sort of ends up adopting el and will alongside max. like, these are the kids that get dibs for rides in the camaro haha.

also im unfortunately not participating bc prev commitments but #harringrove for turkey is happening right now if yall want to donate to the earthquake relief funds for turkey & syria and get some art/fic back from harringrove fans! :) check out the tag if you're interested!!

#stranger things #stranger things fanart #billy hargrove #max mayfield #will byers #jane hopper #st eleven #eleven #eleven stranger things #obviously the ones where the party as a whole adopts billy are also very good #but i think it's cute when they end up getting split like this #it's precious when will asks billy for gay advice and maybe has a tiny crush on him #where billy and el bond over bad papas and containing anger and billy learning to find childish innocence again through her eyes #where max finds out about neil and stubbornly decides to get through to billy and when billy starts reaching back that's it.#theyre ride-or-die now.#i like those kinds of fics :') and steve gets the other half and then they co-parent together #billy's all right w the other kids too but whenever i interpret his relationships with lucas & mike #it always comes off more to me as 'these are the significant others of my kids so they are automatically on thin ice'#and with dustin it's always 'this is my boyfriend's little brother'#but will and el and max are billy's directly #i digress!#sometimes i dont post at all and then i post two things in a week! consistency who???

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spiritualseeker777 · 9 months

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#spiritual awakening #spiritual awareness #wisdom #start over #failure #guidance #good advice #don’t give up

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e-louise-bates · 5 months

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Instead of "20 books to $50k" or "how to increase readership by writing and publishing a book every month that is exactly like every other popular book out there," I need the kind of marketing advice that goes along the lines of, "hey, here's how to get a modest fanbase and sell enough books to justify this as a side gig without having to go crazy and spend more than you earn on marketing." Because honestly, all the advice I find these days either a) requires me to put way more time and money into marketing than I am able to do, or b) requires me to write fast and sloppy in very specific sub-genres, and that's really not why I write stories.

And like Emily Starr, I would--and will--continue to write stories regardless of how many people read them, but it would be nice to be able to reach more than a dozen readers, and to be able to reasonably look on my writing as a part-time job rather than an expensive hobby.

(It doesn't help that there are so many articles out there claiming that self-publishing is dead! It's gotten too bloated and now only a handful can make a living off it! But wait--traditional publishing is also dead! It's gotten too greedy and now only a handful can make a living off it! Mid-level authors? Whether traditionally published or self-published, they apparently no longer exist)

#I try not to grumble too much about this sort of thing #because it always feels like it comes perilously close to whining #but as my school is wrapping up and I can start thinking more about writing again #and publishing and marketing #it's all feeling like A Lot #oh well #perhaps the new edition of mmd will slowly start to draw more readers into the series #and I know if I were able to release books a tad more quickly the series would gain more fans #without going so over-the-top as a lot of the advice recommends #all we can do is try

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moonviewer · 10 months

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"I will keep going forward, no matter how hopeless it might seem."

(please do not repost my art and just leave a link to it if you'd like to share instead, thank you!)

#shining nikki #sn nikki #my art #sn #nikkiverse #i drew this for an art contest #but i really drew it because i wanted to say something with its message #and because i needed a reason to paint something to practice my art style #lol #i tried to make it so even those who don't know its context could understand...at least a little bit #i've recently been watching Naoki Saito (an illustration advice youtube channel) and i've been wanting to try out the things i learned ther #this time i wanted to try conveying a concept/message just in 1 image alone #at first it was honestly more difficult than i thought i tried it for days #but nothing worked and when i finally did get the idea that became this drawing it was because i was thinking one night of how #nikki was someone who has failed thousands and thousands of times yet she never gave up #i admired that because i was thinking of how i just keep failing in my goals that night #that was when i thought i wanted to convey that strength that nikki has #that strength that i also wished to have #and that was when the concept just flowed to me like water so easily #isnt it strange that its only when i start to feel like theres something i want to say that i finally find the idea to express it #something so obvious that i don't even realize lol #for context this image is about someone who lived in a world operated by AI where all emotions and creativity are shut down and dominated b #AIs kinda like the current AI crisis in the art community #but this someone believed in a world with vivid color #and the heart that created such an imperfect yet beautiful world before AI dominated it #thats what i wanted to express #thanks for reading if anyone bothers reading my long rants lol :)

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studentbyday · 2 months

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cheap and easy ways to romanticize your life ~it's about the little things~

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ speak to yourself lovingly. you have the potential to be your best cheerleader because your mind is the only one you can read. when you find yourself feeling down bc of automatic negative thoughts, try to think of something about the situation that is genuinely good, however small it may feel. on a similar note, every night, try to come with at least 3 good things that happened or that you felt that day. they don't have to be big things. even just the absence of smth negative is a positive. (this is still taking sm practice after getting stuck in a pessimistic habit and struggling to keep myself accountable to change it, but it's so worth it, i promise. 🥲)

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ start your day with music that puts you in the mood to...well, start your day. | personal favorites 🥰 morning coffee lofi • happy morning jazz • cozy jazz for when you don't want to think about anything

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ get cozy. 🧣 hold something soft. 🧸 savor that texture, that comfort.

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ forest bathing 🌲🥰 look out your window or better yet, step outside. breathe the air. get some sunlight. look at the sky. the clouds. trees. stars and moon. all the colors. all the shapes. listen for birdsong. the crunching of snow or grass under your feet. isn't it wonderful that we get to experience all this? when i'm feeling lonely and i step outside and look for any sign of nature, i realize just how much i'm not alone and there is good in the world.

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ set up a nice ambience. there are many for free online that can sound as real and comforting as you want them to be for the days when indoors studying or what have you. study with me videos have literally tricked my brain into feeling like studying even if it's really just pseudo-external accountability (i can never wake up to watch them live lol).

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ you are worth taking care of. so take care of yourself. start with smth really really small like leaving a glass of water by your bedside to drink first thing after waking up. then gradually add in slightly bigger things as you feel ready like taking care of your hair (literally did not know about proper washing technique until i watched this 😵) and skin (bare minimum: cleanser, sunscreen, and moisturizer), getting enough sleep, and exercising. "true self-care is not salt baths and chocolate cake, it is making the choice to build a life you don’t need to regularly escape from."

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theonewhowails · 5 months

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in my head this is how Divine Inspiration works

#cotl #my art #cotl lamb #cotl the one who waits #UGH i miss computer i miss being able to easily edit things😭#if you work with traditional mediums and want to make a comic with black speech bubbles and red text #my first and best piece of advice is: dont #my second piece of advice is #rather than try and do the red text first and then colour black in around it #colour in the whole speech bubble black #then use a paint marker/pen on top. i have a white paint marker so i let it dry and then coloured on top of that with red #do not recommend #anyways. i dont really think narinder would say 'lol idk' HOWEVER the image is funy to me #and also i definitely dont think he gives a shit about how these things affect mortals #i however. initially thought that 'demon possesses ur follower to accompany you into battle' would mean something like #like. they fight and can get KILLED. and run at anything that can aggro like a fucking diablo companion #so i avoided it my whole first playthrough and suffered a lot for it #i got stuck on kallamar and got really stressed about how my followers were dying faster than i could acquire new ones #and also now that i had a full set of doctrines i really regretted some of my choices bc they didnt pair up so well #so i started a new game and decided to be evil #and thats how i ended up fully filling out the folower forms! :]

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aro-culture-is · 5 months

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Aro culture is wanting to scream at your friend to just dump their hateful racist asshole boyfriend, while at the same time knowing that they won't listen to you because they are in love and apparently, that erases their ability for critical thinking

While also not saying any of that because it would be rude

A "hateful racist asshole boyfriend" sounds ripe for a situation in which your friend could be dating someone actively grooming them for domestic abuse.

In those cases, individuals often already have poor boundary control, and it's not the critical thinking actually missing: it's the security that creating boundaries doesn't mean losing someone who they feel cares about them. Judgements on their ability to "think clearly" are both misplaced and encouraged by the abusers, as worsening self esteem leads to an abuse victim seeking comfort... often from the abuser.

I think it's very, very important to recognize that the best thing you can do for them is to be there, continually reaffirm that they can always tell you anything, and rather than pressure them to break up... ask them to tell you about the relationship. You can guide them to red flags, but also try to present possible communication elements. There are guides online by great resources talking about how to best support these conversations.

And, of course, it's always possible it is simply that your friend actually is racist and they put up with the behavior because of that. It's not hard for some bigots to find an in through less overt bigotry. But I strongly encourage folks to realize that "in love with no capacity for critical thought" is a very dangerous warning sign that someone may be unable to recognize healthy boundaries, and worse - to recognize unhealthy boundaries.

#Anonymous #aro culture is #aro #aromantic #actually aro #actually aromantic #ask #mod phoenix #advice #abuse cw #basically the communicate or break up discussion should only happen if there is recognition that something is wrong #before that you have to understand that you can guide them towards noticing problem behaviors... but there are a lot of people #who have never learned healthy boundaries or relationships #and for whom the discussion is going to necessarily begin with gently reaffirming that they are allowed to have boundaries #or - in some situations - starting from allowing them a space to explore for quite possibly the first time... what they want and don't want #maybe that's in the context of relationships and will lend itself quickly to learning about how liking/disliking can mean something #like the necessity of communication or boundary setting #but it's also very possible that they may need to begin with understanding alexithymia and learning to name those emotions #this doesn't mean that this work falls on you by necessity... but it really pays to recognize that people are irrational for a *reason*#and that reason usually is not knowing another way to respond or not having the capacity to respond another way #in that moment or in general

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