#sorry to put this on main but i am SO FUCKING MAD and i want literally everyone to know it
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hahahaha i fucking hate my insurance company and i want them to die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#i also hate the healthcare system!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and capitalism!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and my entire fucking miserable life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#holy shit i understand now why people request maid for treatable conditions#i would literally rather die than have to continue going through this torture for years just to survive#like whats even the point? whats the fucking point?#clearly none of these people care if i live or die#so why dont i just get out of their hair!!!!!#oh my god im so angry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#and tired and hopeless and sad and fucking!!!! mentally ill!!!!!!! fuck!!!!!!#i legitimately think they want me to make an attempt#i think thats the only way theyll fucking believe me#i need to be hospitalized or committed or whatever#fuck them!!! like seriously fuck them!!!!#and then if i do theyll be like “welp she shouldve sought help” LIKE#FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU#oh my god i am FURIOUS#BIRTH IS A CURSE AND EXISTENCE IS A FUCKING PRISON AND IM OVER IT#fuck#sorry to put this on main but i am SO FUCKING MAD and i want literally everyone to know it#what do i need to do!!!#please tell me!!!#do you want me to die!!!!#cause ive been trying desperately to avoid that all this time but it seems to be the only option rn!!!!#fuck!!!!#fuck im not in danger im safe nobody needs to worry i just#god#im so goddamn fucking exhausted of this
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idk. picky eater rights. im coming to your events and turning my picky bitch nose up at your fancy ass desserts you spent a bajillion hours working over in the kitchen and asking if i can find like a basic ass brownie with no extra flairs or ingredients or steps or whatever the fuck. cry about it. stop trying to feed me
#toy txt post#they gotta have some picky eater bitches be the judges on those food competition shows i stg#sorry for committing the unforgivable sin of my tastebuds didnt enjoy the food you made. it was intended as a personal slight actually#i am trying to offend you for real. yeah. thats definitely whats happening. god/sssss#like god irl if i dont like food you made ill try to be fuckin gracious about it buf dont fucking get mad at me for like. idk. prepping my#own foods you percieve as worth less or whatever the fuck. ppl are so fucking weird about food.#honestly guy on prev post didnt even dislike the cake it sounded like but was just experiencing the human emotion of disappointment#when the little specific joy he was looking forward too was not what he expected. if she had asked him 'do you mind if i make a similar cake#that is not the exact same as the one you asked for? maybe he wouldve been fine cos he wouldnt have been looking forward to that specific#thing. OR maybe he wouldve said if youre not going to make this very specific one im looking forward to then dont bother i dont want you#wasting the time and effort and then she wouldnt have been mad. or maybe she wouldve. ppl do get weird about that kind of thing#maybe saying that wouldve been a crime too. guess that dumb asshole shouldve shut up and eaten his stupid cake and enjoyed it and said#nothing. a recipe for happiness#anyway. hot take ig stop putting nuts in desserts. alllergy havers will prolly thank you but you know who else will thank you?#every day i see takes about food that make me think i really should be more of a picky bitch eater on maim to knock yall pretentious#food fuckers down a peg tbh. every day i resist the urge but god how yall test me. let me be the judge on a cooking show.#weird assholes who are rude abt ppl having allergies or sensory issues: come here. im going to break you#anyway more of us picky bitches who are picky just for like. casual reasons. we should he loud picky bitches on main. if a cook or baker or#whatever can accommodate my picky bitch ass thats difficult to feed for no reason we can be sure they can accommodate allergy havers#and ppl w medical restricted diets. if they can be gracious about me just not vibing w the food then they can def be gracious about more#sensitive reasons. yea i could choke down the food i dont like probably. it wouldnt make me throw up or send me to the hospital. but why#should i? if youre an asshole to me about simply not liking your shit then why the hell would i feel safe disclosing medical info to your#bitch ass? why would i trust you to follow it? and not try to sneak some shit in bc you think you know better about food?#anyway#picky eater rights. let ppl be picky for no apparent reason. cos the ppl who have uwu Good Valid Reasons(tm) dont fucking owe you that#explanation
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and my man, thank you to my man | jjk
pairing: dealer!jeon jungkook x (f)reader
genre/rating: smut, mature/explicit
warnings: he’s not her sugar daddy but… he pays her bills, fingering, p*ssy eatting, slight Dom/sub undertones, begging, denied orgasms, jungkook is a dealer so there's some stuff about that, hating a** roommate, most of this is a flashback
wc: 757
release date: july 29th, 2023; 10:38 pm est
note: not edited bc i’m kinda trashy tonight lol. this is based on the latto meme/tik tok from her speech. “and my man, thank you to my man” lol. yeah, that one. anyway, another cute relationship drabble from me before i slip into my real writing style. honestly, these are just practice for me lol. div cr.
series m.list | main m.list | ao3 version
“Wow. A new MacBook?”
With an eye roll, you brush off your roommate’s obnoxious teasing. Every time Jungkook buys you something she can’t wait to bring up that you’re fucking your weed man.
“Yup,” is all you reply.
But today she’s just got it out for you.
“Hm, how long were you on your knees for that one?” she smirks.
Instead of getting mad, you take a break from your work and sit back on the couch, gracing her with a mischievous smile. She has no idea how far off she actually is.
-
“You taste better when you’re desperate.”
Jungkook moans his words into your pussy, edging you closer to a long-awaited orgasm.
Your hands fist strands of his wavy hair, hanging on for your dear life as he continues to mercilessly sucks your pulsing clit.
“Fuck. Please let me cum. I can’t—”
Jungkook chuckles as he lifts his head.
“You can cum, but you know what you have to give me first.”
Your withers and contorts within his hold, his strong arms pinning you down so you can’t run from him.
“Come on, baby. You can do it,” he coaxes.
There’s nothing sweet or innocent in his tone. It’s all driven by the eagerness to break you. Your stubbornness has always been his pet peeve, and he knows that you’re willing to lay here and suffer than give him what he wants.
“This isn’t fair!”
Your cries mean nothing to him as he teases you until you reach your peak, only to let the momentum fade away. Sweat begins to form on your skin, and your body begins to tremble with need. You’re close to giving in, but you still hold on with everything you have.
“Shit, Jungkook! Don’t you get tired?”
“Fucking right,” he scoffs. “Tired of your bullshit.”
You can feel his fingers tracing your slit, indicating your impending defeat. Once they slip into your pussy, he’ll control you like a puppet.
“Fuck,” you sob.
He shushes you, then dips his digits inside of you.
“I know, baby. Just let go. It’ll be alright,” he whispers.
Those words paired with the pads of his fingertips touching your spot leave you mumbling a breathless mess.
No longer caring about your pride — tears rolling down your cheeks — you utter the words he’s been expecting since earlier.
“I’m sorry!” you confess. “I should have told you.”
You can smell the satisfaction emitting from his body when he hears you speak. Only then does he take you to the finish line. Your body is taken over by a wave of hot pleasure, freezing your body where it lies on the messy sheets.
Jungkook praises your submission, and licks your sensitive cunt until there’s not a drop of arousal left over. Kissing his way up your exhausted body, he smiles as he reaches your lips.
“Was that so hard?” he teases.
“Shut up.”
When he lies beside you, you roll over and allow him to wrap his arms around you. He rests his chin on top of your head while he talks to you.
“Why are you scared to ask me for stuff?”
You shrug. “It’s not as easy as you put it.”
“I’m not the kind of guy that fucks you and leaves you to fend for yourself. The sooner you realize that the better, baby.”
“I know. It’s just taking me a while to get used to that,” you express.
“It’s all good. I just gotta do a better job at making you see how serious I am about you.”
-
But he didn’t need to. You understood once he said it.
You can tell by his approach that it’s not about throwing money around. He does small things like checking your car for anything weird, asking about your day and actually allowing you to vent, and just being there mentally and emotionally; along with physically.
Nobody is there for you like he is. He doesn’t just come in and fix the problem, he helps you figure it out and if you need help he offers.
He’s been to hell and back with you dealing with your old laptop, and he finally gave up on it yesterday. So no, you didn’t spend a second on your knees for it. But you will be on your knees tonight.
Your poor miserable roommate will just have to rub her sour pussy to the sound of Jungkook getting his dick swallowed.
“I’m glad you reminded me about that,” you beam. “He’s coming over tonight. I need to thank him for my gift.”
#jungkook x reader#jungkook fanfic#jungkook smut#bts x reader#bts fanfic#bts smut#bts fics#jungkook fics#jungkook imagines#bts imagines#jeon jungkook smut#jeon jungkook fanfic#aaagustd.fics
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Sometimes I cannot tell if you guys want villains who do not want to be redeemed or not bc we get gortash and everyone trips over themselves to make this version of him that is absolved from his actions and he’ s changed … Anyways another day another time Wyll gets put to the back burner with crumbs of content yet everyone huddles around like “ OMG THANK YOU LARIAN … oh yeah sorry about Wyll : ((( “
You guys get you are a part of the problem right . You are letting Larian know they can get away with being racist as long as they feed fandom and whatever . Instead of actual quality of life updates and patching in content that would Actually help the game run better and feel finished , they just bloat the game and let companions go untouched with minimal content while playing into whatever the loudest voices in fandom demand the most .
The studio account should not be interacting with fandom so often . This blur between creators and fans is bad ! This leads to fans blindly defending and protecting a Game Studio that they have no connection to because haha larian mad a funny reply . And this also causes a feeling of ownership that should not be there ! You do not own a piece of bg3 and you should not be dictating it ! This is different from criticism btw . Just so we are Clear . Larian deserves and needs criticism .
It is super telling that they voices they are choosing to listen to are not voices that actually care about the game at its story . If they were , we would not have Zero Story for the Son of the Duke of Baldur’ s Gate and yet we have so much for a character that isn’ t actually tied into any major story beat ! We have no more for the character directly tied to Gortash with a prototype of the Steel Watch in her chest , but we can take a side character a few people wanted to bang and speed to have him included ad a full companion ! Instead of Dark Urge getting more content with Orin , Savrok and anyone else that had a tie to Bhaal , they get their relationship with a guy unrelated to all that be made to be read more and more explicitly romantic when that is just ruining the character !
Wyll should have a proper sex scene . He should have a romanced greeting that changes after the proposal . He should have more personal story content . He should have scenes of him in Baldur’ s Gate . The Emperor reveal as Balduran should not have been the main focus of HIS FINAL STORY QUEST . He should have hug and kiss options in the epilogue . People should comment on the engagement ! He should have all of this !! AND MORE FRANKLY .
But because everyone is so quick to forgive Larian , they’ ll never feel pressured to add any of this . They’ ll never feel like they’ ll loose players if they don’ t . Because you guys don’ t actually care . No , I am not saying thank you to larian for not giving me anything I have been asking for and sending feedback on for months . I am not thanking larian for choosing to bend over backwards to random big name fandom people who are racist and just want to fuck the pale guys again and again .
Larian Studio is not your fucking friend, stop acting like they are .
#bg3#baldurs gate 3#bg3 critical#larian studios#larian critical#wyll ravengard#astarion#astarion acunin#enver gortash#bg3 gortash#patch 6#read it and weep idgaf
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Date, Digger Style
KTJL!Boomer x Fem!Reader, word count: 6k
hi i am sorry, this was supposed to be like. a lil silly thing about what a first date with george might be like. and it ended up being 6k words. i just want him so bad it makes me look stupid quite honestly and i am ok with that 💙
request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist
minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: sleazy behaviour, groping, tongue kissing, just the tip and then not just the tip but agreeably so, lots of physical affection, reader has tits and a vagina, reader is referred to with feminine pet names, descriptions of a gross kitchen, also let's pretend that he's always a lil bit drunk so his drunk driving seems like the normal state of things. he's a villain. he's allowed to break laws lmao (and it's fiction, so i'm allowed to decide what alcohol does to him)
Sitting on the edge of your sofa, you took a quick look at your phone to check the time and to see if you had missed any messages. Nothing. Not even a quick courtesy text with "on my way" typed hastily, or auto filled. You'd been sitting there for twenty minutes already, with no sign of George. If this was what he considered a good start to your first formal 'date' then you two were perhaps too different after all to make this work. He was laid back, to a flaw. Horizontal. And you were more organised, at least more so than George Harkness.
Just as you began typing out a message, you heard the tell-tale screech of the tyres on his van, followed by the rumbling of the engine as he put the brakes on and came out of the creaking door. The sharp buzz at your door was enough for you to know your suspicions were right, and without answering it, you headed downstairs. At the door, you could see Digger, picking at his teeth and tucking the stray strands of hair back under the rim of his hat before he noticed you and struck a pose, goofy smile plastered onto his face.
He moved to grab you when you met him on the steps leading up to your building, but you dodged him, spitting his nickname at him.
"Digger."
"Aw, are you mad cos I'm late? You're not some bloody princess, I think you can wait five minutes!"
"Twenty minutes."
"Twenty, the- Twenty!?"
His eyes were wide as he looked to you, and you offered a solemn and unimpressed nod in response.
"Fuck... alright, that is a bit much. This'll be worth it though, I promise."
Raising an eyebrow, you silently questioned that. You'd known him for a while now, skirted around the conversation, flirted constantly, but turned him down at every offer of a date. And now, when you had finally agreed and given in to his constant pestering, he was going to show up late and not even dressed differently or in clean clothes? You weren't sure it would be worth it. But, if all else failed, you could always count on him to make you laugh, or at very least conjure up a smile. And despite wanting to still maintain an exterior of disappointment, you could feel the corners of your mouth lifting as he opened up the passenger door and gestured to it with his arm, bowing low.
"M'lady, your carriage awaits."
As you stepped up and into the front of the van, the smell was the first thing that hit you. Stale beer, sweat, and about five other scents just indistinct enough to elude your keen nose. Trying not to think about it, you turned to grab your seatbelt and noticed, out of the corner of your eye, that the back of the truck was filled with empty beer cans and bottles, piles of clothing, some dirty and some clean. And in the middle of it all, a mattress, some pillows, and a scattering of sheets.
"Do you live in here?"
"Don't worry about it, babe."
Before you could ask him any follow up questions, he pulled away from the kerb with a stuttering acceleration, and carelessly pulled into traffic. After a few minutes of teeth grinding, life-threatening driving at high speed, he pulled off the main roads and began taking back streets.
Granted, you didn't know where you were going yet, since Digger was insistent on keeping it as a surprise, you still assumed that after ten minutes of nothing but roads dotted with potholes and routes plagued by speedbumps that it was surely quicker to have stayed on the main route until you were closer. However, it became clear that there were intentions behind this path after all, when you turned to question George about the route and found him quickly glancing from the road to your chest, smiling wider every time a bump jostled your body, causing your breasts to jiggle. With a heavy sigh, you turned to look out of the window, concealing the smile that threatened to give away your façade. There was no way you could let him know how oddly flattering you found his constant gawking, that would be a nightmare.
When the van stopped at a red light, you spoke, still looking out of the window, to try and get Digger to tell you where you were going.
"I just would feel better knowing how long we've got left to drive is all."
He reached over to you, placing his hand on your thigh and pressing his fingers and thumb together, squeezing the ample flesh.
"Listen, don't worry about it, we're almost there."
His palm pressed down and skimmed further up your leg, and as you turned to catch his eye, hoping to at least shame him into not continuing his bold heavy petting, you were instead met with his lopsided, careless grin. With one hand on the steering wheel and one permanently on your thigh, he continued driving for another ten minutes, until you were well on the outskirts of the city. When the van finally stopped, you could still hear the tinny rumbling and sharp clinking of the empty bottles and cans bashing around in the back, feeling like it had shrilly inserted itself permanently into your head. But once you had stepped out of the van and the fresh air, plus the odd stench, hit you, you could hear yourself think clear enough to know that you were definitely beginning to regret this decision once more.
"Told ya we wouldn't be much longer! We're here!"
"Where is here?"
"About twenty minutes outside Gotham."
"Digger."
He slapped his hand on your back and pulled you into a side hug, dragging you along as he walked towards the door of the flat roof building with broken neon lights that stood in front of you.
"Ah, come on babe! Get a sense of humour, or you'll always look fuckin' miserable!"
You weren't sure if he could hear your sighing over the sound of the gravel as you made your way to the front door, and he definitely couldn't hear the louder second one you let out when you got inside. The one that was cut short when you realised you could taste the smell that lingered on the air.
Taking your hand, an oddly gentle move from Digger. The moment was gone quickly when he smacked your ass as he ushered you into the dingiest looking booth at the back of the bar.
"George, really? Here?"
"Yeah, babe! This place is great. Cheap beer, good food. I promise, you just gotta trust me, alright?"
Taking a quick look around the place told you otherwise. But there was just something about him you found hard to say no to. Which you imagined would land you in much bigger problems later on, but for now, potential food poisoning and a hangover of the worst order seemed like a fair risk for what would no doubt be a fun night regardless. It always was with George.
"Aw, I know that face! You're on board! Right, I'm gonna go to the bar and get us some drinks and food."
"I don't know what I want though, I haven't looked at the menu."
"Don't have to, I'm getting us the usual. You'll like it, tr-"
"Trust you, yes, I know."
With a wink, he slid out of the booth and you watched him make his way to the bar, leaning on it with his oh-so-cocky attitude as he ordered for you. And when he sat back down, he slid a pint in front of you and began chugging at his own. Looking over the tip of your glass as you sipped, you tried to get a glimpse at the kitchen. From what you could see, it looked like the kind of place that might give any decent health inspector an aneurysm. The chef's clothes were dirty, the walls were a stained yellow colour that seemed as though it was dripping down the walls, and every surface had a strange assortment of crumbs and stains on it. But still, you persevered.
And still, when the plates were slammed down on the table in front of you by the uninterested waitress, you were optimistic. Because you were determined to have a nice time. It was likely that which annoyed you the most of all, because the moment you bit into the greasy sandwich you didn't care in the slightest what kind of health hazard it was prepared in. You just wanted more.
"See, told you it was good."
Nodding in agreement, mouth too full to speak, you swallowed down the rest of the sandwich, although by the time you had finished it and your accompanying beer, Digger was already onto his third pint, and the sandwich was but a memory. Until he burped and you could smell it on his breath, something he found hilarious.
"Lighten up! You try, give it your best shot."
"I'm not having a burping contest with you, George. We're on a date."
"Yeah, but you're on a date with Digger. Way more fun, far less stuffy. Go on."
You mustered up the best you had to offer, cheese and beer and lettuce the most noted flavours in the air you expelled. Closing his eyes for a moment, Digger reached out across the table and took your hands.
"That was, without a doubt... the most pathetic fuckin' burp ever. We gotta get you another drink!"
Before you could say anything, he was already shuffling out of the booth and shakily making his way back to the bar. A bad decision being made and you couldn't really stop him. He could handle his alcohol, definitely, you'd seen him do it a number of times before. Digger could put away what might kill a lesser, for want of a better word, man. But it didn't make him any easier to be around. You'd already found yourself flushing hot, cheeks darkening, a heat building in your stomach with each lingering touch or flirtatious stare. So far this evening, you'd almost kissed him twice. It wasn't going to be any easier to prolong what you felt was the inevitable if he got far too drunk and became his usual, handsy self.
Of course, that's exactly what did happen. One more pint in and Digger was all over you in the booth. He'd leaned in at first to say something to you, speaking over the noise of the bar, close to your ear, his arm reaching up and around you and pulling you close and then keeping you there. As his fingers stroked at your shoulder, the other hand fell to your thigh, periodically squeezing it between his fingers and thumb. And every time you got distracted by how far up your thigh he was snaking his palm, fingers splayed out, pinkie grazing over your crotch, his other hand would pull your attention away as his fingertips skimmed over the top of your breasts.
It was difficult to try and hold him off. You were both tipsy, or at least you were tipsy, Digger seemed to be wasted. No good decision could come from that. But the way he touched you, the way he smelled as he leaned in, sweat, cheap body spray, acrid beer, it was intoxicating. If you'd been any less sober you might have leaned in then and there in the booth to kiss him, tasting the alcohol on his tongue, letting him put his hands all over you, anywhere, anywhere. But luckily, before you could make what you knew was a mistake, he sat back and laughed, one loud and sharp 'ha'.
"I fuckin' love this song, babe! C'mon!"
Before you could argue otherwise, you were being dragged out of the booth to join Digger on the tiny dance floor in front of the band. The song was difficult to dance to, at least you had assumed, given the heavy rock riffs that underlined the inaudible, high volume lyrics. But George wasn't deterred. It was almost endearing, how horrendously embarrassing he was, standing there with his air guitar, throwing goat horns at the band as he bounced on the spot. Cute, nearly. But mercifully cut short as the song ended.
"Aw, just as I was finding my groove."
You smiled at him, rubbing his shoulder in sympathy, biting your inner cheek as you felt how strong he was, impressed by his muscular arm as you let your hand slip down to graze over it.
"A real shame, George. Let's go back to- "
The band started up again, this time, a slower song, one that lent itself well to the kind of 'end of prom' vibes all young lovers were hoping for. And before you could finish your suggestion of heading back to the booth, Digger had pulled you close, his arms around your back, falling to your waist as he swayed back and forth. It could have been dancing, it could have been the uncoordinated shuffling of a man who had one too many beers, but either way, you leaned into it, allowing your head to rest against his chest while you placed your hands, linked together, at the nape of his neck.
It was almost too romantic, in its own, strange way. The dim lights, the other couples around you, the unique twang on the guitars, the stench of the greasy food, and the way George kept his hips, his crotch, pressed tight to you as you leaned against him. Not particularly from a storybook romance, but perfect all the same. You'd known this would happen. One date, and you were already falling for him. Not because of anything he'd done, but because deep down you knew you had been into him, since almost the moment you'd met. But you'd fought it, because men like George Harkness, you assumed, weren't the kind of nice boy you dated.
But here he was, holding you, swaying you, sighing softly as the music swelled. Granted the movements weren't exactly graceful, but they were surprisingly fluid, as though he might be good at dancing when he was sober. Yet another surprise for you to learn about, but obviously not right now. He was trying though, his hands at a respectable height, his head leaning on your shoulder. Every so often, he nuzzled into your cheek, placing a soft kiss to it when the notion took him. And when the song finished, you could hear his words clear, spoken gently into your ear.
"You wanna head out?"
You weren't sure if that was "out" as in "get some fresh air" or "out" as in "let's head home, yours or mine" but either option seemed good. The last remaining bit of sun and a soothing breeze might be enough to sober George up before you brought him back in for more dancing. And if it didn't, you were happy to take him to your place for a coffee, nothing more. Although, you were potentially considering letting him sleep on the sofa. You couldn't imagine how difficult it would be to nurse a hangover in the back of his van.
Outside, finally able to breathe without choking on the stench or the thickness of the air, you watched as Digger shielded his eyes from the sky. His stumbling stopped, and he began walking with his usual confidence, almost sobering up immediately in the light of the day.
"Christ! Still pretty bright out here..."
"Yeah, it's not that late. You tapping out early, George?"
"Nah, nah. Not at all! If I've got you for the night, then I'm havin' you for the night. C'mon, I know a place."
Admittedly, and strangely enough, you really hadn't had enough of him yet. It was one of the few things you agreed on, actually. This was supposed to be a date, you'd set aside the evening for it, so you were keen to make it last as long as possible. You couldn't let George know that, though. Keeping the upperhand seemed to be key with him, so you offered him a reluctant smile and rolled your eyes dramatically.
"Well, I suppose so."
Stepping up into the passenger seat of his van you caught him smiling back at you, knowingly. You weren't kidding him, he wasn't as stupid as he seemed at first pass, but he was kind enough to let you keep up the ruse. It didn't stop him getting a little dig in at you, however.
"Are you sure? If you're not keen I can take you home, babe. Wouldn't want you to be bored or something."
"And where are you planning on taking me that isn't boring, then?"
"Eh... just a little spot I know of. Quiet, secluded. Up that back road to the overlook. But again, if you're not into it..."
"No, no. It sounds... well, it doesn't sound boring, anyway."
Digger laughed, starting up the van which groaned horrendously before sputtering to life. Before he drove off, he turned to you and winked.
"Definitely won't be, it never is with me, babe."
Pulling out of the parking lot, he turned away from the city and onto the quieter roads which led out past the city lines and into the expansive countryside that secluded Gotham from the rest of the world. From the window, you watched the sun slowly setting, clouds turning purple and navy as they pushed in from the sides like curtains on a stage show. You had all the time in the world to gaze peacefully, as George was driving in complete silence, way below the speed limit, focusing intensely on the road. He'd seemed to sober up once you were out of the bar, but you didn't want to distract him while he was doing his best to keep you both alive.
The van bounced along a short dirt trail until it stopped in a small clearing, surrounded by trees on all sides and far above the dim, intrusive glow of the city, which buzzed against the now deep, navy sky. Shutting off the engine, George turned and shot you a smile, eyebrows raised playfully, before he leapt out. He walked quickly to the back of the van and you followed, waiting patiently as he opened the two back doors wide, finally giving you a better look at what had been rolling around there the whole time he had been driving.
There wasn't much you could think to say, being of the opinion that you should only speak if you had kind things to say. From where you were standing, you could definitely tell that you had been correct in your earlier assumptions. This was where he lived. His rolling apartment. Convenient, yes. But it was a long way away from being one of the trendy 'tiny homes' you'd seen. The walls were adorned with four posters in total, all of them the kind of cheap standards you would expect in the bargain bin of some ancient music store, miscellaneous women in very little clothing gazing out as seductively as they could from the airbrushed backdrops. On the floor, there was a stick and poke tattoo kit that looked like it might be the source of several new variants of hepatitis, and it was littered with empty beer bottles and cans, some of which may have been half-full at the point he decided to drive off given how sticky the surfaces looked. And to top it off, there was a worn out mattress. No sheets on it, no sheets around it save for one scruffy blanket. It was covered in stains that you couldn't quite place, which matched the single, dented and almost flat pillow that lay haphazardly to the side.
"You live like this?"
That was what you had wanted to say, but again, your polite nature stopped you.
"Handy to just get in the van and sleep, or get out of bed and go."
George smiled, looking oddly proud of himself.
"See, you get it. You won't believe the amount of people who have been put off by- uh... well..."
He looked to the ground, rubbing at the back of his neck with his hand.
"Not that there's been that many people I've invited into- A-and not that there haven't been any people that have been-"
"George."
You placed a hand on his shoulder and raised your eyebrows, offering him a sympathetic grin. He took the out, thankful that you'd put an end to his suffering, and reached in for the blanket, placing it flat over the top of the bed before offering his hand to you. Taking it, he helped you shift yourself into the back of the van, watching as you got comfortable on the mattress as best as you could, at which point he joined you.
Leaning back on his arms, he looked to the sky, sitting in silence for a few minutes. You had joined him, watching the stars start to sparkle as they became visible against the darkening backdrop. At some point, you realised that he was staring at you, and you wondered how long you'd had his gaze trained on the side of your head. Not on any other part of your body, you noted. He was looking at your face, gazing at your eyes. When you turned, you caught his stare immediately, smiling softly when he blinked and looked away with a cough meant to clear the air of the awkwardness he was bringing about.
Rooting around behind him, he eventually found two unopened beer cans, both of which were loose amongst the rest of his belongings. Keeping one for himself, he passed the other to you. He raised his, tipping his head with a 'cheers' and then cracked it open. You watched the way his Adam's apple bobbed as he gulped, a small trickle of foam slipping past his lips and down his chin. The urge to lean in and lick it off was disturbing, most of all because you felt yourself moving towards him before you even realised it. Settling back down into the strange romance of the moment, you pulled the tab on your own can.
The immediate explosion, the build up of pressure and gasses from the can being jostled around as you drove up the bumpy, dirt track to the spot you now sat in, left you in shock. Your shirt was soaked, completely, and the cool air was already beginning to chill your body. You blinked in shock, watching as Boomer tried to conceal his giggles while he stood up.
"Take your shirt off."
Looking to him, you raised an eyebrow, a look that said "is this really how you're going to make that move?" in a way that he read almost straight away. He began unzipping his blue hoodie, turning from you and passing it behind him, generously, and uncharacteristically, offering you some privacy.
Taking it from him, you quickly made the swap, your body exposed to the cold night air only briefly before you zipped up the hoodie, still warm from Digger's body. You tucked your bra and shirt under the mattress, making a mental note to collect them before you were home, hoping they would be dry. Making sure the zip was up completely, not offering any suggestive cleavage for Digger to hook his ideas into, you settled yourself, noticing that you were smiling. You could smell him on the fabric that covered your body. Beer, sweat, lingering smoke, an acrid smell you couldn't quite place and a sweet one on top of that. As the fabric grazed over you, you could feel your nipples hardening. It wasn't the cold though, it was faint arousal at the way you felt so close to him.
"You done yet, you're only putting a hoodie on!"
"Shit, yeah, sorry."
"I can look?"
He raised his hands, pulling them from his pockets and holding them up to his side, questioningly.
"Mhm, yeah."
When he was facing you again, he let his lips turn into an appreciative expression.
"Looks good. Suits you!"
Thudding back down beside you, George immediately lifted his arm up, wrapping it around your body and pulling you close. You found yourself settling into the hug, a natural embrace, one that made your heart flutter slightly as you let your head rest entirely against him. And then it happened, the moment that secured your confusion about him and his intentions. He sighed wistfully. So deep and joyous, his fingers digging into your arm to let you know you were the reason for the warmth spreading through him.
"It's nice out here, you can actually see the stars. Couldn't tell you what any of them were though."
"Are you kidding me right now?"
He turned slightly to look at you.
"What?"
"What? What are you doing? You brought me up here to look at the stars?"
George narrowed his eyes, his brow furrowing in confusion and slight irritation.
"Yeah! I thought it would be romantic!"
"Exactly!"
"Exa-... what?"
"You're so confusing. This whole evening, you yourself, it's not how I thought it would be. I mean, it wouldn't be you without the occasional grope and cheeky wink, but you've been so... You're so... It's weird to see you being so..."
Digger's hand fell to your thigh, a light pressure aiming to calm you down.
"So what?"
You couldn't answer it, because you weren't even able to settle on a definitive answer yourself.
So confusing?
So disgusting?
So gentlemanly?
So romantic?
So hot?
All of that and more.
And when words had failed you, you decided that you'd have to express your feelings another way.
It was less of a romantic, graceful move and more that you sank into him, falling against his body, your lips luckily making contact with his as you both found your way in the kiss. Neither of you expected it, both of you surprised. The tenderness, the hunger behind it. You could taste everything about him, smell him even better than you had when you had put on his hoodie. You expected he was experiencing the same.
Digger fell back, his hands catching your waist as he pulled you with him, both of you laying now on the mattress in the back of his van. His hands pawed, grabbed, skimmed over you, oddly restrained in fact. That was until you shifted yourself up and onto him, straddling his hips and staring down at him, panting heavily as you both caught your breath and took stock of the situation you were now in. His hands on your waist made their way up to your shoulders, your neck, cupping your cheeks as he grinned at you. Watching your face, your expression, for any subtle changes as he let his hands trail back down your front, fingers catching on to the zip of his hoodie and pulling it down slowly, opening it to expose you to him before he cupped at your breasts as you bit your lip.
"Fuck me..."
Digger let out a low groan that followed his short, to the point statement. His fingers circled your nipples, tightening around them as he teased you. His hips bucked up, jostling you, letting you feel how hard he was. You could tell just from that motion that the rumours about how gifted he was had truth behind them.
Bending down to kiss him again, you let your tongue slip past his lips, his own meeting in your mouth. He tasted divine. Sweet, but acidic. Earthy almost, definitely addictive. Everything felt dream like, surreal. Mostly, you assumed, because you were doing something you'd never dream of, something you knew was ill-advised, a little bit silly, embarrassing in the right company. But it was hard to care.
You were quickly brought out of the dream like state however, as you felt Digger's hands between both of your crotches, unbuckling his belt and fiddling with the zipper on his jeans.
"Wait... on the first date? You think you've charmed me enough for that?"
With the smug, self-satisfied grin you had grown oddly fond of, George looked into your eyes as he spoke.
"I think you started this, so it's a pretty good indication of how much I've charmed you."
He winked as he let his fingers tug at the waistband of your own pants, pulling at them as you leaned in to another kiss. Your attempts to stop him, or at least to pretend that was your intention, were put to one side as your body reacted to the feeling of the cool air against your bare skin, his hands, rougher than you expected, holding your thighs, pulling your pants down further until he needed you to move.
"Well... have I charmed the pants off you at least?"
Smiling back at him, you nodded your head from side to side as though you were weighing up his efforts over the evening.
"I suppose you have charmed the pants off me, yes. But... I'm not sure how much further your winning personality has gotten you."
"There's plenty of time for me to catch up, then."
Clumsily, and with very little grace, you shifted and removed your pants, blushing as you noticed Digger watching you intensely, taking note of every movement, every second of you undresssing, as though you were offering him the performance of a lifetime. As you steadied yourself, he hooked his fingers into the band of your underwear and pulled you back to him, landing you flat on top o f his body, your hands on his chest.
Teasing at the band of your panties, he dipped two fingers underneath the fabric, skating over your mound and down to your lips, stroking them gently before spreading them apart. He rubbed one finger up and down, collecting your slick as he licked his lips, desperate to know how you tasted. Bringing his fingers to his lips, he ran them on his tongue, sucking them with his eyes rolling back.
"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck me."
He continued unzipping his pants and pulling them down, boxers included, to reveal his more than impressive cock. At least ten inches, easily, thick, perfect, topped with a tuft of almost flaming red hair. Trying to control yourself, you leaned back.
"What are you planning on doing with that, Harkness?"
He squirmed, pressing his eyes shut and biting his lip before he managed to strain himself enough to speak.
"I just want... I want you... touch it... feel you... something... come on, please!"
Shuffling forward, teasing him knowingly as you felt his head, his length, against your thighs, you mused out loud, humming as though you were actually considering it, as though you hadn't already made your mind up yet.
"I suppose... this was a pleasant enough date. I could give you something, throw you a bone."
He nodded furiously below you, muttering his words of agreement.
"But! Just the tip. I'm not sure how much more of that I could take. It should come with a warning."
George actually blushed, looking away from you for a moment, as though the comment had genuinely embarrassed him. It did seem odd to you in that moment that he wasn't constantly bragging about his prowess in that area. He struck you as exactly the kind of person who would mention the size of his cock at any opportunity. You wondered if had the effect on others that it had on you. It was daunting, a little bit nerve-wracking. How many of the few people who had made it this far had given up at the sight of it, you wondered.
Most, you assumed, as despite how desperate he seemed to fuck you, he agreed enthusiastically, happy to be offered any opportunity to get as close to you as possible. He was already pulling at your underwear, grasping at it, trying to pull it down before deciding to push it to the side as he lined up the head of his cock with your swollen lips.
Looking directly at you he maintained the intense eye contact as he slid himself between your lips, pushing at your tight entrance slowly, carefully, only allowing his head to enter you. It felt amazing. So good, better than you thought. It stretched, filled you up, and that was ten percent of what he had to give. He hissed, gritting his teeth in concentration, trying his hardest not to move his hips, to buck them, to push himself any further inside of you.
As you balanced yourself, trying to contend with the little of him that was inside of you, he brought his thumb to your clit, rubbing it, making you twitch, contracting against him, tightening the grip your cunt had on his head. As he groaned, you couldn't help yourself anymore. You wanted him, all of him. You were willing to risk it.
"God, George... just fuck me."
"Wh-what?"
"Fuck me! Just..."
Realising you might need to take matters into your own hands, you let yourself slide down his cock, each inch stretching you further, a shockwave of pain followed by dull throbs of ache and arousal coarsed through your body, the pit of your stomach feeling pressed, your insides stuffed with him. Llike you were being entirely consumed, enveloped, in George Harkness.
"Christ..."
It was all he could manage with the limited breath he had, his whole body stopping any other function to focus on not letting himself cum inside of you immediatel. The sudden warmth, the tight, wet embrace, the way you leaned back, breasts bouncing as helped yourself to him, riding his cock as he lay back and held your hips. His thumbs, stroking against your skin, where the top of your thighs met your lower stomach, feeling your own desperation as you worked him harder, faster, palms resting on his chest to balance yourself as you took everything he had.
Brows furrowed in concentration, pursuing your orgasm, you wailed as his fingers found their way back to your nipples, teasing them, grabbing at your breasts as you rolled your hips and felt his cock twitching agaisnt your walls. It hurt, but in a way that was delicious, a way that felt like it should be borderline illegal, like most things that provided such a wonderful, addictive experience were. But there you were, enjoying it. Loudly, explicitly. And very publicly. It didn't matter to you, and it really didn't seem to matter to George. You were quite happy to scream it from the rooftops then and there, how much you were enjoying it. Being fucked by Captain Boomerang, as ridiculous as his name always seemed to you. You'd be quite content to tell everyone that he was making you cum, that he was one stroke of his thumb against your erect nipples, one tap of his cock against the exact spot inside of you, from losing all composure.
"George... George..."
"Yeah... yeah, it's good... eh? I'm good."
"Fuck, you are. Yeah. Yes! Yes!"
One final, loud, resounding 'yes' echoed around you, filling the air, bursting through the trees. You imagined that anyone within a five mile radius might have heard Digger coming. His cock, falling from you against his body, still dripping with your slick, still spurting streams of his thick, white cum all over his abdomen, covering his thick pubic hair. His hands, still embedded in your skin, creating deep, red marks where the grip was far too tight, stinging so perfectly pleasantly.
Your own notes of pleasure hadn't exactly been all that much quieter than his own, but still drowned out by the amped up grunting and wailing of George. At least you could hold that saving grace. Allow yourself to cling to that modicum of your dignity.
Because you certainly weren't bothered about any other facets of it, as you slid down beside George on the dingy mattress, curling around his body, hand on his chest, smugly satisfied to know that you had contributed to the stains that would no doubt be a permanent feature.
#captain boomerang#digger harkness#george harkness#captain boomerang x reader#captain boomer x you#captain boomerang fanfic#finnie writes
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Hello! I hope you are doing well 😌 you are my fav writer and I just wanted to to throw out this crazy brainrot request to u bc I am SICK over it
So Florence nightingale syndrome right? Toji is like a professional boxer or whatever something athletic bc he's a fucking beast and he gets hurt, like his leg or something, and you become his at home occupational therapist. So you're like taking care of him and he's getting feelings for you while also being a stubborn ass bc u push him constantly so he can get better. and he's super hesitant to accept his feelings bc he's a Playboy of course.
I'm just picturing this one scene where you're helping him up and he's leaning on you and he says something like "are you sure you can handle me princess?" Idk I'm insane I'm sorry 😭😭😭😭
Pairing: boxer!Toji Fushiguro x f!caregiver!Reader
Warnings: Fluff, frustrated Toji, Florence nightingale syndrome, Toji has an injured leg and is a little bitch for a bit
*This was so fun to work on and now I'm having thinking a little too hard about boxer toji (I'm ovulating) sofjsof enjoy!
Discord 18+ - Twitter - Ko-Fi
Toji never really thought he’d be dependent on someone, yet now he can’t even take a shower standing up. After an unlucky boxing match, Toji ended up in a cast and crutches. That’s what he gets for not listening to his son who told him it was around time to retire.
“I’m not a fucking skeleton, I’m good in my field. I can do this for a couple more years.” How he wishes he could swallow his fucking words. He thought that after getting the cast off he’d go back to normal, and he’d have no issue with mobility. He shouldn’t have an issue moving his fucking leg again, he’s been moving it for more than thirty years, why should three months of not moving it change much?
Apparently he can’t do anything, which is why he has someone with him all day every day, helping him so he can get better. Toji’s main issue? He gets frustrated when someone tries to help him.
“Be careful, it’s hot.” You smile at him as you put his dinner in front of him. He has a scowl on his face as you set it down in front of him. He tried to help make dinner but he couldn’t stand for too long. He’s mad, but not at you. He could never be mad at you.
Toji wasn’t necessarily fond of you when you started working with him; he hates being dependent on someone else, and he knew that he would have to depend on you for pretty much everything. You try to help him though, and he should be more appreciative of you because of it, but in reality he feels like a fucking baby. He’s grown to like you though… A little too much for his liking.
You leave him to eat, going to wash the dishes since he can’t do the task yet. Perhaps his own bowl and spoon, but not everything that needs to be cleaned. You watch him from the counter, watching his refusal to pick up the spoon and eat the soup you made him. Earlier he was so prideful, telling you that he would help you every step of the way during dinner, and he couldn’t even finish one third of it. You were proud of him regardless.
“It’s really good, Toji! The potatoes you helped peel really added a touch to it.” You’ve gotten close enough to be on a first name basis. You see each other every day, you stay in the same house, of course you’re close enough to talk to each other so casually. It doesn’t mean you should though. You’ve always managed to keep a very professional relationship with patients, but there’s just something about him that makes it hard for you to be normal around him.
“Don’t talk to me like I’m a fucking kid.” He says, pushing the bowl of soup away. He’s not hungry anymore. Toji stands up, his hands holding on to the table to support himself before grabbing his crutches.
“Toji, if you’re not eating it, can you try to bring it over to me, please?” You ask. You know the soup has cooled down, if he spills it, he’ll be fine.
“If you want it, pick it up yourself.” Toji is clearly mad. You don’t take it to heart though, because you know it’s with himself and not you.
“How about we go to the park tomorrow? It’s supposed to be a nice day out.” You talk to Toji who tries to watch a documentary. He’s not all that interested in what he put on, caring more about what you have to say. He might not show it, and he tries to deny it, but he has the biggest soft spot for you. “We can also get some ice cream, if you’re in the mood!”
“Hey… I’m sorry about earlier. I was just—” It’s hard to get an apology out of him, but sometimes he knows he’s in the wrong and he feels the need to apologize. He doesn’t want you to be mad at him, even though you’re clearly not upset with him. You’re so understanding and patient with him, he feels like he doesn’t deserve that.
“You’re fine, Toji.” You reassure him with a smile, your hand going over his balled up fist. You feel your heart skip a beat as you touch him. You’ve crossed the line past a professional relationship, and you should set some boundaries within yourself– But his other hand goes on top of your own before he brings it up, softly kissing your knuckles. It’s hard to set boundaries when he feels the same way.
“I’m tired.” He tells you, and you stand up to help him get up. Toji usually denies your help, but this time, he has no problem accepting it. You just want the best for him, and there’s some things that he can’t do completely alone. He has to take baby steps. He’s using you for support, and he’s scared that he’s too heavy for you. He asks you, “Are you sure, princess? Can you handle me? I know I’m pretty big.”
“You’re fine. I can handle you.” You reassure him, and you begin to walk to his bedroom. His room was previously on the second floor, but ever since his injury, he’s moved his bedroom to the first floor. You get him to his bedroom, helping him on the bed. You smile at him before saying, “Let me grab your crutches. You left them in the living room, right?”
Before you can walk away, he grabs your sleeve. Toji’s slowly realizing that he can’t fight off the feelings that consume him when you help him, and he’s usually not a fan of them. Toji’s been tied down once before, he certainly doesn’t want that again. But with you, it’s different. He doesn’t mind the idea.
“Will you lay down with me?” He asks, and you suck in your bottom lip between your teeth. You shouldn’t. He caresses your cheek with the back of his hand before he prompts himself up to kiss the corner of your mouth.
“Toji, you know this isn’t something I can do.” You tell him as he looks lovingly into your eyes. “I’m here to help you get better.”
“You can help me get better by laying down next to me.” Toji responds. You grab the hand that so lovingly touches your cheek and kiss it, before bringing your lips down to meet his momentarily. He swears he hears fireworks when your lips meet, even after you pull away.
He’s most definitely in love with you.
“I’ll go get your crutches. Good night, Toji.”
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#toji fushiguro#jujutsu toji#toji zenin#dilf toji#fushiguro toji#toji fushiguro x you#daddy toji#toji imagine#jujutsu kaisen toji#jujutsu kaisen x reader#toji fushiguro x reader#toji x y/n#jjk toji#toji fluff#toji x reader#toji x you#toji jjk#fushiguro
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Part 3 to Who's In Control?
Better Than This
Alastor x Reader
| Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3(here!) |
Summary : After the fight and spending time apart, you and Alastor finally come to realise your mutual feelings for one another, but before that, a more important matter needs to be discussed.. will Alastor finally tell the truth?
Warnings : This is where we go off track and not all of this is canon, swearing/cuss words, Angel jokes about sex(?)
Pairings : Alastor x F!Reader (M!Reader here)
Additional Tags : Lore, world building kinda, angst, fluff, Alastor learns to talk about feelings
Ib : Better Than This by Set It Off
Word count : 1.4k
Wide awake on the couch, you stare up at the ceiling of the hotel.
“I’m closing for the night, kid. You gonna be alright?” Husk asks from the bar.
“I’ll manage. Goodnight, Husk.”
“Night, kid.” He heads towards the staircase, but just before leaving for good, he turns to face you one last time. “Take care. And don’t stay up too late.”
“Mhm. You too.”
After a while, it was quiet. Just an empty hotel with the dim hallway lights and nothing else.
You weren’t really sure why you were here. You could’ve gone back to your room after Husk left, or before, for that matter. Maybe your heart just has desires you couldn’t avoid.
“Shit, stop thinking about him! C’mon, brain! Stop it, now.” You aggressively started to blink, trying to find anything else to distract your mind, but everything seemed to be tied to his existence.
There was no denying you missed him.
“What the hell is happening.. I’m supposed to be mad and angry, not missing him..” You sigh.
Poor Alastor, though.. Maybe I should hear him out? No. Fuck, no! He lied to you! No way.
You groan and cover your eyes with the back of your hand. There was this uneasy churn in your stomach.
Am I.. am I in love with Alastor?
-----
“Alastor, you can’t keep this up forever. You need to fix this.” Rosie sighs, walking Alastor back to the Hotel.
“What use is there, dear, Rosie?” Alastor’s voice is audibly tired-out, though his smile still etched high and proud. “I was so close.”
“You need to tell the poor thing and let her fend for herself.”
“She wouldn’t listen.”
“Alastor, please. This is no longer about your silly little crush.” Rosie stops in her tracks, catching sight of the Hotel a few streets away. “It’s about her soul.”
“Crush?” Alastor asks, oblivious.
“A crush, someone you have feelings for and want to be with.”
“Ridiculous, Rosie. I don’t do.. Feelings.” It pains him to utter such word.
“Whatever ya’ say. Just.. think about what I said, alright?”
Alastor nods, parting ways with Rosie.
Feelings..? Did he have feelings? Feelings for you?
-----
The door creeks, making you turn your head.
Who would be here this late at night? Was it a guest? No, why would a guest come in at 1am?
But then who would it be..?
You got off the couch and eyed the corner which led to the main entrance. A threat, perhaps.
You simply stayed put, saw a glimpse of a shadow, pounced and tackled whatever had made itself welcome in the hotel until the two of you tumbled onto the ground.
Prepared for the worst, you were surprised to hear.. Radio static?
“Alastor..?” You ask.
The Demon looks up at you, his neck wrapped tightly around your hand.
“Oh shit! Sorry, I thought you were an intruder.” You immediately let go and backed up, sitting cross-legged on the floor.
“Whatever gave you that idea, my dear?” He questions, sitting on the floor opposite of you.
“It's 1am.”
Alastor tilts his head.
“I wouldn't expect you to be out at 1am.”
“You know I don't sleep, dear.” He says, wincing at the fact he's repeated this multiple times in the past.
“Doesn’t mean you’d be out at 1am.” You mutter.
“Valid point.” He says, the tension in the air starting to grow thick.
“So.. uh.” You trail, “Why exactly are you out at 1am, exactly?”
“Ah, just simply visiting Rosie is all.”
“Oh, I see.”
Alastor looks away, his gaze glued to the hotel floors.
“And you, darling?”
“Huh?”
“Why aren’t you asleep?”
“Oh. I was helping Husk with the bar.” You tell him, which, ultimately, was a lie. Husk was doing all the work while you were drinking away your feelings. But you weren’t about to admit that to Alastor.
“Yes, I see. How nice.”
“Yep.” Damn, this was so awkward.
You got up from the floor, turning your back, “Well, uh.. Goodnight, then.. Alastor.”
“Goodnight, my dear.”
You start hesitantly walking towards the staircase leading to the staff rooms, feeling Alastor watching your back as you left.
“Darling.”
You stop in your tracks. Actually, no, you freeze. Though you made it evident you had no intention in facing him.
“Yes?”
“We need to talk.”
“There’s nothing to talk about, Alastor.”
“You don’t understand, dear. I fear I may regret keeping this from you any sooner in the future.”
“Uh huh..?”
“You’re aware of overlords, I assume?”
“Yes, but what does tha-” Before you could continue, you catch sight of Husk by the top of the stairs.
“Hey, you said you’d sleep, kid-” He tries to joke, but realises you’re not alone. “Oh. Hey, boss.”
“Husker.” He acknowledges.
“Uh.. am I interruptin’ something?”
“Well, actually-”
“No, of course not.” Alastor cuts you off, passing by and giving you a small pat on the head.
God you missed those.
“We’ll discuss this another time, darling. You need your rest.” Alastor gives the small of your back a little push forward, urging you to go to bed. “I hope to see you tomorrow morning?”
“Y-Yeah.. Sure.” You reply, stepping forward, already missing the contact from Alastor’s hand. “Goodnight.”
“Indeed. Sleep well, my dear.”
You reach the top of the steps and Husk accompanies you back to your room, leaving Alastor still in the lobby by himself.
He returns to his broadcasting studios, a gut feeling in his chest telling him to just be honest with you about the contract. He hums a tune as he returns back.
He’ll fix this. He has to.
-----
“Good morning, Al.” You reached the table where everyone was gathered, and was somewhat pleased to find Alastor already sitting in his normal seat.
“How was sleep, my dear?”
“Good. Did you have your daily dose of venison yet?”
“Not quite. You don’t seem to have your breakfast either.”
“Gotta have my priorities.” You shrug. “Shall we discuss this somewhere else?”
“Let’s.”
You leave alongside Alastor, and the rest of the crew can only stare at each other in shock.
“Did I miss something?” Charlie is first to speak up.
Husk smiles, Sir pentious shrugs, Vaggie asks the same thing.
“Who thinks they’re fuckin’?”
“Angel!”
“Joking, jeez!”
-----
“You wanted to say something?” You take a seat on the floor next to Alastor’s chair.
“By all means, you’re welcome to sit on the chair.”
“I’m good. Your broadcasting panel scares me. You sit.”
“If you insist.” He takes a seat, ruffling your hair. “You’re familiar with overlords, correct?”
“Mhm.”
“Have you ever heard of Azrael?”
“The Legend of the Dark Arts Overlord?”
“Precisely.”
“I’ve heard of it, yes.”
“Well, dear, he’s not a legend. He was the most powerful overlord of us all.”
You weren’t sure what reaction to be giving so you nodded along, waiting for him to continue.
“7 years ago, us overlords were experimenting with power and magic. Azrael formed an experiment, inheriting part of his magic to a human.” He says, meanwhile you still had no idea what this had to do with you.
“This human would be protected, and would only die when Azrael himself gets killed, thus sending the experiment to hell, whether they deserved it or not. 7 years ago, some of us overlords had ‘matters’ to attend to and Azrael had died in the process during the last 2 years.” Alastor proceeds to drop multiple history facts on you at 9 in the morning.
“2 years ago,” He states. “The human was sent to hell with locked up dark magic they weren’t aware of. The overlords are now gambling for this soul as whoever owns the soul owns the power and magic, but on one condition.”
“One condition?”
“Yes, my dear. You see, to own the soul is one thing, but to own the magic.. The soul has to be killed.”
“That’s terrible! And complete bullshit.”
“Exactly, darling. And I own this very soul.” He sighs. “As long as I can own her soul for long enough and find a backdoor, her soul won’t be gambled any longer by the current overlords. But you see, dear, I’m on a time limit here.”
“Is there anything I can do to help? Who’s soul is it?” You desperately question, completely forgetting you were supposed to be still mad at Alastor.
Alastor sighs, looking at you with compassionate eyes as a hand comes to cup your cheek.“2 years ago, this soul entered hell. 2 years ago, another soul that entered hell.. was you.”
———/ TBC. /———
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#hazbin hotel#hazbin#alastor#hazbin hotel 2024#hazbinhotel#hazbin hotel season 1#alastor hazbin hotel#hazbin alastor#hazbin hotel alastor#alastor hazbin#alastor x reader#alastor altruist#alastor fluff#alastor the radio demon#alastor x you#alastor hazbin x reader#alastor x y/n#husk hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel husk#husk#husker#radio demon#overlord#overlords#alastor and rosie
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Black!Witch!Mc getting chosen for the exchange program
I was writing about another request but then I specifically thought about how they would try to teach magic to MC but she was doing hoodoo so here we are✨
__________
Student Council:
- First off IMAGINE the audacity of getting kidnapped w no warning and now demons saying you gotta stay here for a full 365 days??
- Unserious
- I’m immediately putting a ‘no demon allowed’ sigils on the inside of my door so they wouldn’t be busting in 24/7 without knocking🙄
- Meeting belphie and telling he’s full of shit
- “I really am a human-“
- “Bullshit, I can feel your bitter ass spirit a mile away”
- Mammon knows what’s good so he’s already with the program
- “I had this bottle of Florida water just laying around. Not like I got it for you or anything but like here I’m throwing it out anyway”
- “I don’t know if human spirits would like this whiskey but like we had it lying around in the kitchen so just take it no one drinks it.”
- Baby I still see the price tag on it,,,,,
- Leaves fancy cigars in your room and when you mention them bc you KNOW they wasn’t there before he’s like “idk maybe you’re imagining things”
- “Satan has been doing research or whatever on human magic so maybe he left there here for ya to find.”
- He WILL gaslight you into thinking he isn’t like being helpful but like he’s not good at it
- Depending on where your from and if you work with more water and Sea based stuff Levi will be drawn to you like a moth to flame
- You smell like sea water and he peeps that
- When your around it feels peaceful like watching waves reaching the shore
- Asks you if you’re secretly like a mermaid
- “Maybe”
- He can not tell if you’re joking with that smirk Mc!!
- He sees you wearing pearls and starts just like giving you more of them
- “I got these from the bottom of that marinara trench or whatever and I thought you’d like them!”
- “You mean the MARINA TRENCH Levi???”
- He probably knows how to make jewelry out of them so he def does
- Gives you earrings and bracelets and says it’s for a cosplay
- “Yeah, the main character is like this really cool pirate queen who’s like secretly a siren.”
- “Oh damn That’s sounds cool what’s the name of it?”
- “…..I forgot but like trust me it’s REALLY good.”
- He is making up FAKE anime to get you to wear his gifts I am so sorry bestie
- Gifts you with seashells
- “I mean like humans pick these up all the time right?”
- “Is there a creature still living in there?”
- “You don’t want a little friend????”
- Please go put that back where you found it😭
- You like to chill in his room the most bc I mean look at it, it’s a big as fuck aquarium and it just feels like a vibe
- Was thinking about getting you this rly elaborate bathtub to keep in his room for you
- Like a blow up mattress💀 but it’s a Victorian claw foot tub
- But then you say that you can just sleep in his with him and he’s struggling to breathe
- “Y-you sure? I mean like I can sleep on the floor-“
- “It’s your room I’m not gunna make you move and besides there’s definitely enough space in there for both of us.”
- Gets all the softest blankets and pillows from all over the house like he’s snatching peoples shit up😭
- Stiff as a board when you first get in but then when he wraps his arms around you he feels at ease like he’s relaxing on the beach at night and knocks out
- Sweats he sleeps the best when you’re with him
- Satan is immediately fascinated
- Trying to see if he can pinpoint the meaning of the jewelry and clothes your wearing just from looking at you
- Noticed you always smell like incense
- Like he knew you were in the house bc he can smell sandal wood and lotus when he walks by
- “You’re not a regular human are you?”
- “You’re not really a regular demon are you?”
- Probably gets into it w you be you’re not taking any of his shit and you’re quick to clap back
- Traps him in a corner with salt
- “Time out. Sit your ass down”
- Stops getting mad somewhere along the line and starts getting turnend on by it
- Like may just set up scenarios behind the scenes that cause you to absolutely loose it
- An euphoric feeling washes over him when he sees you pissed off
- 🙄😒 he setting up scenarios for you to beef w Radom people
- Like it’s enough
- Likes to see you mad at him but he knows he has a limited amount of times he can do that in one sitting as not to damage your relationship
- Finds the way you do magic fascinating
- Throws him off a little bit
- How you just find shit and make it work??
- “Okay so for this spell it says we need like finely aged Demonus, frankincense resin, and blood.”
- “Okay well I got pine needles, old grape juice, and apple cider vinegar.”
- ????
- And he’s literally flabbergasted when IT WORKS PERFECTLY
- “That’s not the rules???”
- “Ion need those that’s optional.”
- “Hello?????”
- Scratching his head in frustration bc like?? YOURE NOT FOLLOWING THE BOOKS AND YET THINGS WORK??
- “Listen, when you don’t have things on hand you gotta substitute. It’s like the same thing kinda if you think about it.”
- “No it’s not!! You can’t substitute mullein for graveyard dirt!”
- “Says who🤨”
- Watches you like a child the way he hovers over you analyzing what you’re doing
- He was waiting on shit to backfire but he sees you doing things with ease and his curiosity is eating away at him
- “How long have you been doing this?? For you to just be quick on your feet like that?”
- “I don’t know? My whole life? It’s just like something you do everyday without thinking.”
- His nosey ass is always in your business
- Asmo is entranced by your appearance
- He can feel the energy coming off the jewelry you wear in an instant
- “Oooo where did you get those?”
- “It’s been passed down to me”
- “What’s the name of your grandparents? I might know who it originally belonged to👀”
- Clown ass will find out he ran through some of your family
- “I remember hearing about this one great great great great cousin that cheated on his soon to be wife and disappeared forever after they got married.”
- “Wait hold on I remember that name! That might have been be lol. I seduced him and then broke up the marriage and made a deal with the wife to make him disappear. Good times”
- “HELLO???”
- Like any generational curse he’s def behind it
- “My aunt cursed the family to never find love” ass shit and he’s like daaaam that’s was me my bad let me left that lol
- Clown
- Has you charm his jewelry
- Even tho he can do it himself he wants to watch you do it
- Beel
- What a sweetheart
- Likes when it’s your turn to cook
- Giving him snacks or cooking food that eases his hunger pains
- He’s holding you like a teddy bear
- Walks into your room like 🥺”snack pwease?”
- Your ancestors love him
- “Go give beel this”
- “….i bought that for YOU”
- “Okay?? Go feed my baby!”
- Like absolutely crazy
- Satan is their fav white boy
- In an “lmao this funky little white bot got some spice in em”
- Like he does In canon like Afro beats so IMAGINE they hear him singing like Marvin Gaye and they’re like “yeah this the one”💀
- The most annoying mf EVER
- He walks into your room and is like “oh I ain’t here for you”
- ????
- “Ayo don’t just roll up in here KNOCK first??”
- “Oh Mc I didn’t come here for you- good afternoon grandma McRae, I wanted to show you I aced my finals😌”
- AND THEY WILL HYPE HIM UP?????
- Mammon is that cousin that you know always in some shit but he’s the one who do the most to help out
- Leaves Grimm on your altar
- You’re surprised he didn’t just snatch it but when you catch him bc it’s been accumulating and you know YOU ain’t put that much there
- “What you mean?? For good luck I ain’t miss yet at the casino”
- Imagine how tired we are
- Will hide Goldie there and they will NOT let Lucifer find it💀
- “Don’t worry baby I got this you run along now” INSANE
- Very “go make sure he ate breakfast this morning” energy
- See now belphie is so annoying
- Hoping and PRAYING that they don’t know about lesson 16 bc it’s like on sight
- Lilith is chilling on that mf altar and she will bring the WHOLE FAMILY to beat his ass
- So imagine they’re not beating his ass 24/7 and this is after the party when you guys made a pact
- He comes into your room while you’re busy to sleep in your bed because why would he sleep in his own if he wants to bother you??🙄
- “Hey Mc I’m gunna sleep in here they’re being too loud.”
- “…..hello and good afternoon to you too, I’m doing great how was your day😐” like he don’t ever be saying hello
- He feels this weird ass vibe in the room and he looks over at your desk
- “You a spell or something? What’s up with all that stuff?”
- “Hm? Oh no it’s just an altar for my ancestors I made one shortly after I got here.”
- Hums before wrapping himself in your blankets
- They all in his dreams whew
- He’s seeing people he’s NEVER seen before glaring at him and being like “you done lost your mind”
- Assumes he’s entered one of your dreams until Lilith is like
- “Why did you do that?”
- He was surprised to see you were related to her the first time
- IMAGINE they show him a flashback of what happens but he gets to see what we saw and Lilith last words to us
- And then he’s surrounded by people being like 😒😒😒
- He’s on his knees crying fr
- Want Lilith to beat up her brothers like “don’t mess w my baby👿” because we’re like her niece or whatever minus a few eons like her direct descendant
- She do not play about you at ALL
- She’s putting the fear of god in him before she’s like “I know you’re sorry and you’re my brother and I love you but don’t do that shit again”
- Only reason he ain’t get it worse is bc you love him💀
- They still baby him to an extent bc he is the baby of the family and since he can talk to them directly he will be asked to deliver messages for them
- but he woke up struggling to breathe
- And you’re like ?????
- Worst nightmare he’s ever had
- Getting all the other babies out the way they like Solomon but in a sneaky way
- “There he go again up to something “
- “I would never🥺” and he’s literally plotting
- They talk to like the most I think because he’s like idk how that works but they seem happy when I leave treats up there
- He runs to them when yall pick on him
- “Leave that baby alone!!”
- Simeon is the golden child obviously
- Picture perfect and so respectful
- Will leave a feather from his wings there just bc
- Everyday it’s “tell Simeon I said hi!”
- Like okay :// enough he can probably go see yall face to face
- Saving the very best for last Lucifer
- Comedy relief
- They be messing w him heavy
- Moving things around so he can’t find it
- His favorite pen runs out of ink and when he gets a a new one it starts working perfectly fine
- Missing matching socks
- Like just bc it’s funny
- They do however see he’s shouldering all this stuff that he really don’t need to and that he’s head over heels
- Suddenly his lunch feels more filling and comforting
- His paperwork seems less like an endless mountain
- When you’re not there he will go to the alter and leave little things
- Also asking them for advice on how to purpose
- All of a sudden you’re getting signs for a wedding
- “Are there even this many doves in the devildom????”
- “A wedding or union is in the future”
- “?? What do you mean by that auntie?”
- “😊”
- “WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT!!”
- Jokingly mess w him bc COME ON it’s Lucifer!
- Stressing him out is like prime entertainment
- Honorary members of the anti-Lucifer league
- Satan leaves a little pin in there that says that LMAO
- Lucifer internally sighing bc wow his family got even bigger (he is not complaining, glad to see more of Lilith kin and how she had such a long strong lineage)
#my writing#x black reader#obey me#obey me x black reader#obey me shall we date#obey me swd#obey me x reader#lucifer x mc#om lucifer#lucifer x reader#mammon x reader#obey me leviathan#leviathan x reader#satan x reader#satan obey me#obey me beelzebub#beelzebub obey me#obey me asmodeus#asmodeus x reader#obey me belphegor#belphie x reader#belphie x mc#obey me mammon#mammon x mc
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Hii can you maybe do main 4+ butters and how they act when they are jealous? Maybe another boy is talking with you and maybe flirting idk btw I loveeeee your page🩷🩷🩷
I got you and i hope i did yous proud my bbs!
Stan Marsh
oh stan
well he thought it would be fun to take you to the gym
yass power couple goals
but he went to refill his water bottle for like 1 second
and some dude bro comes over "checking out your form"
Stan so wanted to punch the guy in the face
and like he totally would of but uhhh you know reasons!
so anyway he say's he's fine even though he's barely spoken since
a good couple hours later and our boy BANGING on your door
"am I not good enough for you!!?"
"what?"
"is it because I put on some weight? I'm tryign to lose it!"
"Stan what are yo-"
"i love you please don't leave mee...."
Dude fucking REAKS of booze
clearly drunk
clearly mad and sad and confused and scared
feels like absolute shit in the morning
Kyle Broflovski
oh oh oh
yall just out for a lovely meal couple of drinks
Kyle goes to pay the tab cause dude a fuckin gentleman
old fashioned type of guy
and when he see's some guy ogling you
he was about to fight
but this is a nice place
one of your favorites
so he's not about to get himself band
so just a little warning to the guy
maybe a little dressing down
Kenny McCormick
Let's be real
if he sees someone flirting with you
he's not going to stop them
your a worldie
but you need to be comfortable while other guys fucking gawk over you
right?
and oh whats that you feel???
Eric Cartman
Lets say Cartman doesn't kill the guy
at least not in front of you
dude gonna assert dominance
I mean it's technically your fault
why did you have to dress like that
did you want to piss him off??
anyway
he's gonna make sure the dude knows you are HIS
the audacity of this guy
Leopold "Butters" Stotch
aaaaaa
im sorry
he's not gonna get aggressively possessive
he's gonna stick to you like glue tho!
lucky he's cute.
#i don't like backgrounds#a post on a week day!#cheeky#south park#eric cartman#kenny mccormick#kyle broflovski#stan marsh#butters stotch#eric cartman x reader#kenny mcormick x reader#kyle brovlofski x reader#stan marsh x reader#butters stotch x reader#south park kyle#south park stan#south park kenny#south park cartman#south park butters#south park stan marsh#south park kenny mccormick#south park kyle broflovski#south park eric cartman#south park butters stotch#anon
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WHY DON’T YOU LOVE ME DADDY | vinnie hacker
--- MINORS PLEASE FUCK OFF FOR UR OWN GOOD ---
you don’t think vinnie loves you so you flirt with his friends, he proves that your his
ROOMMATE!VINNIE X FEM!READER
WARNINGS: NSFW CONTENT MINORS DNI, friend’s with benefits typa relationship, degradation kink, spanking, pet names, unprotected sex (use birth control idiots), brat taming, oral (m reciving), fingering, slight dumbification, harsh sex to really fluffy sex
word count: 2.8k
author’s note: this is inspired by the song why don’t you by father
“Vinnieee” I slurred out, I was slightly tipsy from my friends being here earlier and us drinking and shit talking about boys and relationships. I was currently snuggled up in me bed in my bra and underwear re-watching ‘skins’ while smoking some weed to combat with my stupid fucking ex breaking up with me over me living with a guy- I hate that asshole so much.
“What the fuck do you want” He said groaning and walking into my room
“Vincent can you please can you go downstairs and get me some Aspirin and Tums” I say with a pout, I know my hangovers and if I don’t have medicine I’m gonna be a bitch.
He flops onto my bed and looks at me while I lay down next to him, “Was this guy really worth all this shit” He asks looking at me, “Why did he even break up with you, what did you do?”
I may or may have not told Vinnie yet that the fact I broke up with my boyfriend was because of him, “It wasn’t that big of a deal anyways, don’t worry” I fail to look reassuring,
“C’mon dude were close, I LIVE WITH YOU, I won’t judge you” He says with a pout and who am I to deny such an adorable sight
I sigh, “He was just generally overprotective and possessive or whatever but um the main reason he broke up with my was erm cause I lived with you” I close my eyes shut afraid of what Vinnies’s reaction might be but he sits up and just looks baffled
“Wait wait you’re telling me he broke up with you cause you lived with me?” He says it like it’s unbelievable
I just chuckled, “Yeah I guess he thought that we were a thing behind his back or something”
“Damn that sucks man I’m really sorry, why didn’t you just move out with him?” He asks with a lot more sincerity than I have right now- I’m just focused on how close vinnie’s lips are to mine,
“It’s fine I like living with you and some insecure guy isn’t gonna change that” I say staring at his lips
“Yeah, but I dunno it makes me feel bad that you feel like this because of me” he says brushing a few strands of my hair of my face and rubbing the tears of my face as I lean into the touch
“It’s fine Vincent I promise you, living with you is worth being single” I say trying to reassure him with my face still in his hands
All he does is chuckle and then our lips are connected.
That's how it started. Now everytime me or Vinnie are mad and we need to take out our anger, or we need a date for an event, or even if we want to get off we always have each other. That’s the rule- no matter what we have time for each other.
But it’s been a week and Vinnie has barely talked to me and I shouldn’t be mad cause this is a casual thing- no strings or whatever, but what pisses me off so much is that he’s talking to another girl- specifically my best friend Zoe, who assures me it’s platonic but god I’m so mad at both of them.
He’s to fucking busy to notice that it’s been around 3 months since we started this- whatever this is, woo it’s our ‘anniversary’ and he doesn’t fucking care does he?
I had just gotten out of the shower after a busy day at work and I just needed some sort of release so my only option was obviously my roommate. I quickly put on a matching set and some black sweat pants and a white lace tank top and walked out of my room to find Vinnie.
When I found him he was shirtless sitting in front of his gaming setup on his phone- oh fuck he looks so good.
He was clearly just finished working out- He was shirtless with just sweats on his hair fucked up and one hand scrolling on his phone with his other hand was resting behind his head while he was leaning on his gaming chair.
I went up to him and leaned on his desk waiting for him to acknowledge me to no avail
“Hey Vinnie are you busy right now” I ask with my tone bleeding with annoyance
“Oh uh I’m kinda messaging-” I cut him off “Zoe, right, whatever”
I walk back into my room seething I fucking hate him so much he’s a bitch fuck this.
I grab my phone and scroll down to find Theo’s contact, he was one of his irls that his fans didn’t know much about- Vinnie gave it to me a while ago when Theo came over to take pet-sit hera when both of us were out of the country but now it was the perfect revenge.
I flop onto my bed grabbing one of my pillows and I call the number a few times before he picks up
“Hey y/nnn” He calls out
“Hey Theo” I yawn, “How are you?” I ask with as much sincerity I can muster
“M’ good, I’m just playing valorant, what about you” He says
“I’m good Vinnies just being annoying right now so I wanna talk to you” I laugh
He laughs with me, “Yeah, that’s Vinnie for you, anyways wanna talk about it cause u called me like super late”
“Oh erm nah its fineee” I draw out, “Just wanted to talk to you y’know” I try to deflect
“At 12 am?” He says with a chuckle
“Uh yeah I guess sorry” I try to make it seem sincere
“Hmm yeah sure, is there anything else you want?” He asks, if I wanted to I could have sex with him but that just seems really fucking wrong
But I don’t need to fuck him to get Vinnie jealous, he’s the most fucking possesive person I’ve met me talking to Theo is gonna fucking rile him up to no end
“Um sorry this is a weird request but can I play valo with you, I need to get my mind off shit?” I say ask rubbing the back of my neck and cringing, that was a shit lie
“Oh…kay, sure why not anything for a pretty lady” He says with a certain confidence in his voice. “Hope on valo, let’s play a couple competitive matches”
I agree and end the call to hop onto my desktop and pick up the call on discord.
We start off as attackers and our team wins 7 out of the twelve rounds before we switch to defense, multiple close calls, including my team being wiped out with me being the only person left to defend for us, and when we win that round I scream so loud to ensure Vinnie hears me.
We end up winning the match and I jump off the chair and do a spin out of happiness, but out of the corner of my eye I see the familiar blond leaning on my door frame yet I don’t acknowledge him.
“Hey Theo” I ask breathlessly, “You're really good at valo thank-” But before I can finish thanking him that familiar scent of sandalwood mixed with lavender and smoke creeps up behind me caging me into my desk and ending my call with Theo.
A hand on my jaw pulls my gaze away from my screen into addictive brown eyes, neither of us make a sound, we just stare at each other too afraid to mess up the atmosphere.
I break the silence first, “What the fuck was that for asshole” I say only slightly louder than a whisper, still to afraid to ruin the moment.
“You know what that was for pretty, what are you doing calling some rando at fucking 12 at night bitch?” He asks but I don’t need to reply, we both know the answer to that.
He continues, “Dumb little girl is so needy she’ll whore herself out to anyone who’ll pick up the phone? You know I’m always there but you can’t handle not being the center attention for like 5 minutes”
And that’s what pisses me off, I stand up looking at him level in the eye, “You don’t get to fucking say that Vin! You haven’t talked to me in a week cause your to busy slutting yourself out to MY best friend and-”
He cuts me off, “Can I kiss you?”
“Oh my fucking god Vin your so annoying, you never listen to me it’s like talking to a wall!”
“That doesn’t answer my question, can I kiss you?”
I hate the things he does to me, I hate how he makes my entire body heat up when I’m mad at him, I hate how he tries to get me going at the worst time, I hate how he tries to fix our arguments and our mistakes by getting me horny, and I really fucking hate how it works.
I nod and he places his hand on my hips and guides me into a kiss whilst I wrap my arms around his neck and lean into the kiss, his hands roam around my body slipping under my shirt to pull it off. We let go of the kiss to take our shirts and pants off and we both ended up back on my bed with him against the headboard and me straddling him, grinding on his clothed cock.
“Shit, I fucking hate you so much,” I plead whilst my hands curl into his hair and his lips trail blazing kisses along my neck down to my tits whilst he unclasps my bra and keeps the kisses going.
“Yeah, yeah, say whatever you want baby, you know your mine” He says in between kisses
And the fucked up part is that he’s right.
I could flirt with as men as I want and he could talk to as many girls as he likes to try to forget me, but fuck we both end up in one of our bed’s at the end of the night, worshiping each others bodies or ruining each other till theres nothing left in either of us- I’m his, and he’s mine… even if were to pussy to say it.
But right now I’d rather die than admit to him that he’s right.
“Really” I question breathlessly, “I thought zoe was yours?”
“Oh fuck off, if you wanna be a brat, I’ll fucking treat you like a brat.” He says as he manhandles me so my face is pushed into my pillows and my ass up in the air and smack my right cheek
The burn makes me hiss into the pillow whilst his hands snake down my back to pull my hair which in turn pulls my hair up so he can see my face.
“Your mine” He instructs, “Say it, say your mine.”
He knows im his, we both know that I’m his but fuck the man and his stupid insecurity crisis, I’m not saying shit.
“Fuck fine, we’ll just do this the regular way” He says and accentuates with a slap on my left ass which makes me hiss and arch my back into him.
I don’t know how long the spanking goes on for but I know it burns but I feel so fucking good right now, I can see stars and Vinnie and that’s all I need right now.
He’s finally done and flips me over, “Cmon baby, just say it, I wanna fuck my girl and I know you wanna feel good pretty, it’s just 2 words.”
I know my face looks exhausted because Vinnie starts kissing every single soft spot on my neck, collarbones and jaw so I can relax and take a moment to relax. “Daddy-” I slur out, “Can I suck you off?” I say with such an innocent tone and doe eyes that I think it takes him a second to register.
He doesn’t say anything but helps me situate myself on my knees in front of his still clothed dick.
He moves the hair of my face and helps me take his boxers off, his cock looks angry and red with precum already leaking off of it. I start kitten licking the tip of his dick, swirling all the salty precum over his angry tip. I can tell he's starting to get frustrated by the way he’s fidgeting above me.
“Your such a fucking tease baby,” He says petting through my hair, “Such a dumb little brat”
And my stupid ass giggles instead of saying anything, but it gets him going enough for him to tangle his hands into my hair and start using my mouth to get him off, my moans and hisses just add to his pleasure.
I hollow my cheeks out and swirl my tongue around his dick to give him some form of stimulation, and use my hands to jerk off the rest of his cock that I can’t fit in my mouth.
It’s so fucking dirty, the sounds of me gagging on my roommates dick with spit rolling out of the corners of my mouth, and the whole scene is finished of with Vinnies moans echoing around our house.
He’s so fucking close to cumming and I can tell by the way his grip on my hair tightens and his moans turn whispier. But for some fucking reason he pulls me off and picks me up so I’m straddling is lap again and were making out again.
He flips both of us over so I’m laid out on my back and he’s hovering over me like I’m the finest piece of art he's ever seen, “Hey baby, you still with me?”
“Yeah, yeah,” I pant, trying to catch my breath.
He takes his fingers and finally take my panties off and dips them into my folds, his thumb reaches my clit and he makes figure 8’s on them, the sudden simulations causes me to gasp and arch my back which leads to Vinnie’s hands finding refugee on my hips and pushing me down into the comforter as he continues to stimulate me.
His hand drags in and out of me as our lips interlock, we move in a steady rhythm and everything feels so right, for a second I forget about everything that we were fighting about and melt into his touch, I may be a petty bitch but god has this man done something to me.
The knot in my stomach builds and I know Vinnie can tell by the way my legs shake and how my lips quiver around his whilst my hands drag my nails through his back, causing him to hiss in pain and pleasure.
“Vinnie” I moan out, “Please can I cum”
I’m begging at this point, I’m so close to release and I wanna cum so bad that all my self respect leaves my body.
“I don’t know baby, you’ve been so rude”
“Please, Vinnie please” I plead, “I need you so bad, please I’m yours”
I give him what he wants in hope he gives me what I want and it works like a charm
“Oh how am I gonna deny such a pretty girl?” He states but he removes his hands causing me to whine but instead takes his dick and lines up to my folds and slowly goes in, reveling in the way my eyes roll to the back of my head.
He’s excruciatingly slow and then painfully fast slamming into my hips with the sound of our skin slapping adding to the ambiance. Our moans bounce off the walls, my breathless wines along with his low grunts create a melody of intimacy, it’s so different to how we started.
We’re so fucking close to cumming that Vinnie tells me to, “cum with him”, and that’s exactly what we do. We both finally get our release after so long that we don’t even move for a second, my forehead and his touches for what seems like an eternity until he finally pulls out and places a kiss on my cheek and heads to get water and towel to wipe me off.
After he does that, I get up and pick up my panties and put them on and then put on Vinnies shirt whilst he puts on his sweat and we both use the bathroom.
As I get into bed with him after changing he cups my face and places a kiss on my lips, “Plus I’m sorry for everything, I’m such a dick sometimes”
It’s sweet, after all we're not even exclusive and he's this sweet, I kinda forget everything he’s done… until I don’t.
“It’s fine baby, you can make up with me in between my thighs”, I say the last part so quietly that he doesn’t register it for a second until he places one more kiss on my lips and slips under the covers.
#bella's full works#bella fawns over vhacker#vinnie hacker smut#vinnie hacker x reader#vinnie hacker x reader smut#vinnie hacker imagines#vhackerr#vincent hacker#vinnie hacker oneshot#vinnie hacker#vinnie x reader#vinnie imagines#vinnie hacker x you#vinnie
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I think there’s a definite problem though with the amount of art and fics being HEAVILY Astarion with cis women. That reeks of his queerness being erased. There should be a healthy balance of Astarion with different partners, but the “default” in the fandom is always him with a woman. As a gay man it’s very frustrating.
Okay so. in however much any of this matters. 1. Shoving this under a cut for people who are tired of seeing the discourse (I am too, I tend to scroll really really fast past it.) 2. I know the fandom discourse machine looooves super firm and snarky opinion jabs summed up in 169 words or less but I am literally incapable of not elaborating so. sorry YOU asked. since it’s also probably relevant, Im coming at this with the Mega Dyke with the fuck around and find out perspective irt my life experiences and queerness. I don’t generally care about niche queer internet discourse and I don’t generally care about fandom discourse, so you can tell how bored I am at work rn that I’m deep diving into this. tldr yeah you’re not wrong I agree that astarion’s queerness is erased in certain spaces but that has nothing to do with being attracted to women. my funny hot take is once again that astarion is a he/him evil femme to me so. let’s MOVE.
I received the second one within the first few minutes of the first, and I’m goingggg to proceed on good faith and with the idea that I think we’re all in agreement for the most part, because I think we are. But I’m going to address the most obvious thing that. I don’t really…. think is necessarily the point in this. first of all, I empathize that it suuuucks to not see as many works made for your main pairing of choice (there’s generally a deficit for literally everyone BUT astarion to boot too.) however ultimately fanworks are exactly that: fanworks, and they’re made For Free and posted by a Fan Author who has done this As A Hobby, “a problem nobody is addressing” in this context is……. you are one google doc and keyboard away from writing what you want to see in the world. or, I don’t know. encourage + comment + follow up on fic authors that write what you enjoy. fic is not paid content and the fic authors in bg3 are writing for themselves and what they put out, that they wrote for FREE, is up to them. I once again empathize with not seeing as much of a specific thing as you would like, and I definitely empathize with seeing a popularization of specific characterization that makes you want to scream, cry, throw up, etc. which brings me to what I can actually comment on and critique here. (general note: if you proceed to misread me on the basis of “people can do what they want!!” I assure you. you can do whatever you want forever. I do not care. I am not mad. I am minding my business 90% of the time. do I like domstarion? no. but it is NOT my concern nor my judgement.)
“That reeks of his queerness being erased. There should be a healthy balance of Astarion with different partners, but the “default” in the fandom is always him with a woman.” <- so! now that we have “it’s all for free man idk what you want me to say here” out of the way. we CAN critique something real in this that I do agree with. the sort of…. honestly kind of fascinating (derogatory) trends of what I’ll call Straightifying astarion for lack of a better word.
this brings me to the point I kind of offhandedly made in the previous post, about how there IS nuance to be said on astarion’s queerness getting erased. I do actually agree with you that in some spheres of the bg3 fandom, his queerness has been heavily sanitized and he’s become something of a placeholder for Sexy Vampire Boyfriend romance tropes. he’s mostly there to be a stand-in for a sexy dom vampire man; MANY of his complex character traits that have literally Nothing to do with romance have been basically entirely removed to serve a specific idealized idea of him that suit the scene. it’s frustrating! I find it frustrating. I also agree that within this specific Brand of Mischaracterized Astarion, he’s been so……….. reduced down to this that his more overt queerness is basically entirely removed. however, the issue is not that he’s with a woman in this? the issue is that the writer is not incorporating a sort of.. overarching queer lens, for lack of a better term, to the characterization they’ve got going on. you can write whatever you want forever, but it’s not written in a vacuum, I agree.
Since these are all popular straight romance tropes, he falls directly into the pit of Sexy Man (straight) very quickly, and his attraction toward others (let alone, good god, his complex relationship to sex, sexuality, desire? good fucking luck finding something thoughtful in there about that) tends to fall by the wayside as a result. It is what you would expect but it’s not without room for critique in what I think we’re aligned on; which is seeing astarion’s queerness erased is maddeninggg. And it is EXTREMELY frustrating to see if you’re someone like me, or possibly yourself, who’s into 1. really analyzing characterization and 2. really into exploring queer dynamics in writing + lit + media many different formats. THIS—the sanitization, the removal of astarion’s queerness—this is what is irksome as a queer reader.
however. the issue I’m seeing is that ^^^^^ this brand of mischaracterization is 1. being conflated with simply that he’s with women, and 2. the frustration of having less content (understandable) is turning into a very WEIRD dialogue in which the extreme of “well actually he wouldn’t even want to fuck women!!” is the stance to take (very weird) (kind of misogynistic) (kind of also reeks of continuing to talk about women as sex objects that astarion would not or would want to fuck) (astarion himself doesn’t even want to fuck for about 90% of his romance so maybe we should talk about that too) — rather than that it would be nice if his queerness would be addressed more openly and with more nuance and clarity than it currently is in That Particular Sphere Of Astarion Characterization. and, of course, the idea that it would be nice if he was portrayed with other kinds of partners! which I agree with and equally appreciate.
but there is no default. literally, there’s no default. what you’re seeing is what people are making of their own tavs, and maybe you would like to see more of another kind, but it doesn’t hold up as an actual fandom critique. what holds up is when we dive into how people write him; how do they write his personality, what traits are being exaggerated and what traits are being ignored; IS his queerness remembered within the text at all? and beyond that, how is that queerness treated when it is written? because I’ve seen the other extreme in which it’s The Homophobic Gay Stereotypes That Maybe We All Agreed At One Point Were Equally Offensive To Exaggerate To The Point Of Horror. half the discussion I see AROUND his queerness amounts to “omg he’s such a slutty flamboyant little fag” but in a quirky haha internet way. very “fruity is a nice alternative to saying queer!” “calling a gay guy fruity in the real world will get you punched out.” vibes in here sometimes and it is EQUALLY weird.
anyways. Astarion’s a multifaceted character which means the first thing everyone did was pick one or two traits to exaggerate and cling to and these color the entire reading of his character rather than taking in the whole. i agree that means his queerness got put to the wayside in some formats of him, and that’s deeply unfortunate + very frustrating. but fanfic is free, so I’m not with you that there’s a Problem That Needs Addressing so much as that’s what people are creating, and you should add to what you want to see in the world.
I’m not going to go on a tangent about how “oh let m/f be a thing!!” because I ALSO agree literally no one needs to be told “m/f is okay to do ❤️” we live in the real world here. and it’s really mindboggling how in some iterations he’s been turned into Straightstarion rather than his CANON QUEERNESS being applicable in every format of every relationship dynamic he could ever possibly be in. However. However. the answer to that is not? acting like the baseline attraction to women is the problem. if the way you’re talking about attraction to women feels rooted in upset about not relating to it and feeling like you’re forced to either relate to it or simply not engage, I do Get It, but at the risk of opening up an entirely different can of worms that needs an entirely different essay to address, gay men are not immune to misogyny and if the language used while talking about women is also objectifying or belittling women to some extent or acting as though attraction to women makes his queerness lesser. newsflash. that is still misogyny (and biphobia). it is not about defending straightness here, it’s entirely that reducing women down to sex objects even in the conversations about not seeing women sexually is alive and well (and repulsive), and that’s what I mean when I say I can hear the “lol I don’t fuck WOMEN that’s DISGUSTING” behind some of the other side of the conversation here. also this is an entirely separate essay but queerness will almost never exist in an easily consumable binary and trying to type him by his character traits is also. kind of weird. just as a thing.
#critical /#this feels like such a I will die on any hill. I am going to forget about this now#like again I’m not even disagreeing with some of you but other things in here. it’s a little bit deeper than that#or as deep as fandom discourse is anyways.#now that the high of soap boxing has worn off as I write these tags I’m like good lord.#I will NOT let inanities ruin this game for me.#sorry that’s once again not really directed at you anon but in general#good faith! we keep good faith!
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Hey! Since you’re taking requests, can I request a sort of part two (not necessarily it could jsut be a stand alone) to Days of Future Past where what if younger Charles had a wife in the 70s where reader decides to break it off with Charlie’s casue the love she had for him begun to slowly dwindle because of all the events that happened in the last fic. And while she does care for him as the father of her son and fully expects him to still be in his sons life, she can’t be with him anymore since it’s to much
Broken
pairing: Charles Xavier x Fem!Reader
word count: 739
warnings: angst, no comfort
notes: Days Of Future Past was posted a year ago for my birthday celebration, so it's only fitting that I post the long awaited part 2 for another birthday celebration 🥰
Days Of Future Past (part 1)
birthday celebration
main masterlist
The thing about change is that it doesn't happen overnight.
When Logan went back to his own time, Y/N never expected Charles to go back to normal immediately. She knew it would be an uphill battle. But she was pregnant and tired of waiting.
"You're joking." Charles says. They're in his study, Y/N standing even though she is due in a week. They haven't had any conversations that aren't about their son since Logan came, and they need to have this conversation before there's a baby taking up all their time. When she brought up her decision, he didn't seem to like it.
"I know you're on cocaine." She says point blank. She's known for awhile, but it's finally time to force him to get his shit together.
"If you're going to leave me, you might as well go before our son comes." He doesn't think she'll actually do it. He goes back to his work, sitting behind his desk as if she'll huff and walk out. But His words just make her more sure in her decision. She takes a deep breath and looks over at him.
"Charles. I am leaving you. We're not arguing about that right now. What we're talking about is if you're going to be in our son's life or not." She can tell this makes Charles mad, but she has to think of herself and her son. She can't stay with Charles, not when he continuously puts her through tough times. She doesn't know how she's even gotten through this pregnancy when all he's done is get high or drunk and act like she wasn't pregnant for six months.
"What the fuck?" Charles blinks, looking up slowly. "You can't just leave as we're about to have a kid!" His argument infuriates her.
"I'm not in love with you anymore!" She screams, the room going completely quiet. They stare at each other, both hurting.
"What does that mean?" He whispers, and she almost wants to take it back. She can't though, because it's the truth.
"I'll always love you, Charles." She tells him, walking closer slowly. "But after what you put me through, I'm not in love with you."
"I need you." He tells her, reaching out when she gets close enough and grabbing her hand. "I can't get through life without you."
"I'll be here." She assures, moving his hand to her protruding stomach. "There will be a piece of us in this world soon, and I would go through everything again for him. But you and I cannot work together. At least not now." Tears begin to fall from Charles' eyes.
"I can quit." He mutters, and she nods.
"I know you can. And you're going to for our son." She moves to sit on his desk. He puts his head against her stomach, tears soaking her shirt.
"I need you." He repeats, and she just shakes her head.
"Our son needs you." She cards her hands through his hair. "Maybe in another time, we can be together, but you've put me through too much."
"I'm sorry." He finally whispers, and she nods, trying not to cry. "I love you so much."
"I know you do." She tells him. A part of her feels bad. She knows he's trying. But it's too little too late, and she can't sacrifice any more of herself.
"I can change." He promises.
"Charles," She pulls away from him, looking down. "I know you can change. But I can't wait for it. I can't keep giving up pieces of myself to fix you." She feels the need to kiss him, for the comfort and the repetitiveness. But it'll only hurt worse.
"I don't need to be fixed. I just need time." He begs, and it's the same thing Y/N has heard over and over.
"I don't have time to give you." She tells him truthfully, moving away from him now. "Our baby will be brilliant. He will have two loving parents. But they will not be together. For their sake and his."
"Y/N," He starts, but he doesn't have anything left to say. He has nothing left to beg with.
"I love and care for you." She whispers. "But I am not in love with you. You have taken things from me that you cannot give back. Broken things you can't repair. And I can't forgive you for that."
She walks out without looking back, going to move her stuff out of their room.
//
tags: @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @one-sweet-gubler @thefandomplace @mcueveryday @icequeen1371 @kenzi-woycehoski @multifandom-boss-bitch
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Dirty Little Secret (7) // JTK
Characters: Jake x fem!reader
Warnings: Hella angst, mentions of depressive episodes, drunkenness, unprotected sex, penetrative sex, cock riding, lemme know if I missed anything.
Author's note: Only three more chapters left!
“Danny?”
Danny sighs and rubs his face. “You chose me?” He says.
“What?” Rolling over onto your back, you rub your eyes. Pulling your phone away you glance at the time on the top of the screen. “Danny, it’s three in the morning..”
“I know, I’m sorry but.. I have to know.. Why did you choose me?”
“I didn’t choose anyone..” You groan. “I just…left.”
“He thinks you chose me..”
“Well he’s wrong..”
The elevator dings as it reaches the main floor of the lobby. He goes over to the small hotel shop and begins his search for any pain medicine.
“But why did you leave?” He asks. Spotting a box of Advil pills, he grabs it off the hook and walks over to the front desk.
“Did you really think I’d want to be around you after the way you were treating me?” Retrieving his wallet from his back pocket, he rests the phone between his cheek and shoulder so he can pull out his card. “I mean, I get you being mad but you made me feel like shit–and I felt like even more shit still being with Jake.”
“So what you’re saying is…” He hands his card to the lady to pay for the medicine.
“I chose neither of you.. If anything, I chose myself and what was best for me.”
The lady hands back his card and he puts it back inside his wallet and stuffs it back into his back pocket. Silently thanking the lady, he takes the medicine and heads back to the elevator.
“What about what was best for Jake?”
“Jake?”
“Yes.. (Y/N), he’s a mess. The last few days since you had left–he disappears after shows and Josh finds him across town and completely drunk out of his mind. Just tonight I found him myself and had to bring him back to the hotel.. That’s when he told me that you chose him..”
The elevator doors open and he starts to step inside when he’s met with Jake shoving his way out.
“Hey woah!” He grabs Jake’s arm to stop him. “Where are you going?”
“Away from here.. Fucking asshole wants to hold me hostage in my own room–not gonna happen.”
Seconds later, the other elevator beside them slides open and Josh pops out. “There you are!”
“Stay the fuck away from me Josh!” Jake shouts. He yanks his arm from Danny’s grip.
“Jake, you need to go back upstairs and get some rest.”
“Like hell I do.”
“(Y/N), I gotta call you back.” Danny says he hangs up.
“That was her?” Jake says. “She called?”
Danny shakes his head. “No, I called her.”
“Well tell her she’s a fucking bitch.”
“And here comes the rage..” Josh mutters.
“I don’t care if you or her fucking grovel at my feet, I’m done with the both of you. You can have your precious best friend back and she can go back to being just some girl I fucked at Josh’s party.”
“Jake, stop it.” Danny’s fists curl inwards, one crushing the box of Advil pills. “This isn’t you–you’re drunk.”
“So what if I am?” He says. “It beats being heartbroken.. I’d rather be drunk and angry. More fun that way.” He laughs deviously. “She can go fuck herself, she’s pretty good at that.”
He storms off down the hall and towards the lobby as he pulls out his phone. Stumbling through the sliding glass doors, he pulls out his phone.
“Jake?” Comes her voice. “Are you okay?”
He scoffs. “Am I okay? Am I okay? Like..you..care.”
“I do-”
“Fuck you.”
“Jake, stop-”
“Stop what? Feeling angry? I have every goddamn right to feel angry. You left me–” He voice cracks as his eyes begin to fill with tears. “I loved you and that should’ve been enough.” He sniffles and wipes his face. He clears his throat and runs a hand through his hair. “But it doesn’t fucking matter, I don’t want you anymore. I’m done wallowing over you. I’m done wishing you’d come back. Fuck you and fuck Danny. I never should’ve gotten involved with you, the biggest mistake I’ve ever made..”
He didn’t give her a chance to say anything before he hung up. Clicking on the Uber app, he stares at the screen. Where would he go? They’re in the middle of the desert. Huffing a sigh, he goes back inside the hotel and trudges back to the elevator.
—Three Weeks Later—
“We’re gonna head out and go exploring a little, want to join?” Sam says as he catches up to Danny by the buses.
“Oh uh, no I can’t.. I’m going back to Nashville for a few days before the tour resumes.”
“You’re leaving us?” Sam fakes a sad face before chuckling and patting on the back. “No, it’s alright. But can I ask why you’re going all the way back there?”
Danny cautiously looks around to make sure no one else was nearby or listening. “I need to check on (Y/N).. After Jake exploded on her over the phone, she’s been struggling.. Not eating as often as she should be, missing work, hardly leaving her bed.”
Sam sighs. “This has got to be the worst breakup we’ve ever seen..”
Danny nods his head in agreement. “Well I have to get going, I can’t miss my flight. I’m trusting you to help with Jake.”
Sam nods his head. “Don’t worry, big brother won’t be going on any benders again anytime soon.”
—
Waking up late that afternoon, you find Danny sitting in your desk chair. You stare at him in confusion but he only stares back at you with his eyebrows raised and his arms folded over his chest.
“Why are you here?” You ask as you pull yourself up into a sitting position.
“I could ask you the same thing.” He says. “Jenny said you were supposed to be at work–but you aren’t.” You scoff and lay back down and pull the covers over your head. “Oh no you don’t..” He says as he gets up from the chair and comes over to your bed. He drags the covers off of you and tosses them away. “You need to get out of bed.”
Grabbing your arms, he pulls you up and out of bed before directing you to the bathroom. “Danny.. Please stop.”
“No, you need to take care of yourself and if you’re not gonna do that, then I will.” He sits you on the toilet while he turns on the shower. “After your shower, get dressed and I’m taking you out to eat.”
“I’m not-”
“Don’t argue with me. Shower and then food, whether you like it or not.”
He steps out of the bathroom and shutting the door behind him. Heaving a sigh, he lays down on your bed and rubs his face. He knew he had every right to be angry but he never intended on you ever leaving Jake, but you did. Now not only does Jake hate him but he hates you too.
He’s gotta fix this.
But how?
—
“Jake!” Josh calls into the bus. “We gotta go!”
“I’m coming!” Jake shouts back. Giving up on his hair, he grabs a hat and puts it on before retrieving his wallet and sunglasses and rushing out to meet up with Josh and Sam.
“Danny here yet?” Josh asks, looking at Sam.
“Should’ve already been here,” Sam says as he shrugs his shoulders. “Guess we can check inside the venue.”
Sure enough he is inside the venue and messing with his drums. “When exactly did you get here?” Sam asks as he climbs onto the stage.
“Not too long ago.” Danny shrugs his shoulders. “I guess.”
“Hey, Danny, I can’t find your–” Jake, who’s still standing on the floor with Josh, spins around to face you. You’re stopped only a few feet away, nearly colliding with him if you hadn’t looked up. “-phone..”
“Damn, maybe I left in the hotel.” Danny stands up from his drumkit and feels around in pants pockets. “Oh! Nope, right here. Sorry..”
“Wh-What are you doing here?” Jake stammers.
“What did you do?” Sam mutters under his breath to Danny.
“I have a plan to get them back together.” Danny responds.
“And how exactly do you plan on doing that?”
“Uh well–I haven’t really thought of much besides convincing her to come back here with me.”
“Smart…” Sam mutters before going back over to his bass.
“I, uh–Danny wanted me to visit for a few days..” You fidget with the button on your shirt and look everywhere but his face. You didn’t have to see his eyes to know that he’s angry. And rightfully so. “I’m just gonna head back to the hotel.”
“Don’t forget, dinner at 7!” Danny calls out after you.
Jake turns back to face Danny and throws his hands into the air. “What is she doing here?” He says as he approaches the stage.
“Visiting for a few days,” Danny shrugs his shoulders. “Didn’t think it’d be a problem.”
“A prob-” Jake scoffs. “Yes, it’s a problem! I don’t want her here!” He slams an open palm on the floor of the stage. “I want her anywhere near me, understand?” He says pointing a finger only at Danny.
“What about dinner?” Sam chimes in.
“She’s not coming.” Jake says as he folds his arms over his chest.
Danny drops his drumsticks on his kit. “I already invited her.”
“Well uninvite her.”
“I can’t do that! Jake, you’re being rude!”
“I’m being rude?” Jake says as he points his finger at his own chest. “Me?” He scoffs. “I’m sorry if I don’t want to be stuck in the same fucking room as my ex! She’s not coming to the dinner, end of discussion.”
–
How could she be here? Why did he bring her back here? And why am I suddenly nervous?
Jake huffs as his hands shake while buttoning his pants. “Pull yourself together.” He grumbles. Finally buttoning his pants, he grabs his shoes and slips them on. Grabbing a few necklaces, he clasps them around his neck and straightens them out over his chest. Running a hand through his hair, he gives himself a quick look in the mirror before retrieving his wallet and phone and heading out of his hotel room.
He rushes down the hall towards the elevator knowing that he’s already late and will most likely be chewed out once he gets down to the lobby. The elevator doors open and he’s met with you. You stand there holding a takeout bag. Clearing your throat, you step out of the elevator.
“Jacob..”
“(Y/N)..” He steps into the elevator and turns back to face the doors to see you sighing and walking away as the doors close.
As much as he tried to keep you off his mind by keeping a conversation with Josh, his thoughts still drifted to you. He couldn’t stop thinking about you alone in the hotel with only your takeout. He felt a small bit of guilt because he forced Danny to uninvite you to dinner tonight.
Grabbing his drink, he finishes it off and signals for the waitress. She comes back over and greets him with a smile. “Would you like another, sir?”
He flashes her a smile and shakes his head. “May I have the check please?”
“Ohh, Jake is paying?” Sam sarcastically gasps before chuckling and returning to his conversation with Danny.
“Of course, sir. I’ll have that right away.” The waitress before clearing their empty dishes from the table and walking away.
Once back at the hotel and everyone was in their respective rooms, Jake slips out of his room and goes down the hall to yours. Why am I here? Why am I doing this? Sighing, he stuffs his hands in his pockets and begins to walk away when he hears the door unlock and swing open.
“Jake?” He turns around to find you standing there in nothing beside your bathing suit and pair of sandals. You have a towel of your own hung over your arm and your hair pulled up into a ponytail. “Did you need something?”
He goes to open his mouth but chews on the inside of his cheek instead.
“Well I uh..”
“I’m heading down to the pool.. You’re welcome to join me, if you’d like..”
He stammers again before spitting out a full sentence. “No, I should probably go back to my room..”
You slowly nod your head. “Alright then..” You say before turning away and going down the opposite direction towards the elevators.
Leaning against the door of his hotel room once back inside he palms himself over top of his pants. Seeing you, in only your bathing suit, made the blood rush to his dick. No. Stop it. She left you. She hurt you. Remember that.
Groaning, he pushes off the door and walks over to his bed. But you looked so beautiful. The way your suit hugged every curve of her body so perfectly. Your breasts, the way they popped out just a little over the top of the cups.
He’s so painfully hard at this point, imagining every single detail of your body. As much as he despises you, he misses feeling how soft your skin is, hearing your giggles as he traces your hips with the tips of his fingers. He misses how you sound when you cry out his name. He misses how good you feel.
Pulling himself back into a sitting position, he runs a hand down his face and leans on his knees. Taking his phone from his pocket, he opens a new text and types out a message.
–
Pacing back and forth in front of the bed, he chews on his thumb nail as his other hand rests on his hip and his heart races in his chest. He tries to take a few deep breaths. A knock comes on the door and his heart plummets into his stomach. Walking over to the door, he unlocks it and pulls it open. You stand there in the hall outside his door clutching your towel to your body, your body visibly shaking from the cold air.
He brings you inside his room and closes the door behind you. “Wh-What did you want?” You ask clutching the towel closer to your body, you shivering from the cold. Pulling you into his body, he presses his lips to yours. The heat from his body seeps through your towel and permeates your skin. What is he doing? What are you doing? Why aren’t you stopping him?
He presses your bodies tighter together and grinds his hips into yours. You can feel how hard he is and you know he must be dying. Unfolding your arms you drop the towel and your bag and wrap your arms around his neck.
He staggers backwards until his legs hit the bed and plops down with you straddling his waist. You fumble with the buttons on his shirt, your focus being pulled away by the feeling of his tongue wrestling with yours. Succeeding with the buttons you slip his shirt off. He brushes his fingers along the straps of your bathing suit before pulling them down your arms. You slip them out and he pulls the suit down your body allowing your breasts to fall free of their confines.
“So beautiful..” You hear him whisper before sucking on one of your breasts.
He pulls away after a few seconds and rolls you over onto your back. Grabbing hold of your crumpled suit, he pulls it the rest of the way off and tosses it to the floor. Undoing his pants, he pushes them down his legs and kicks them away. His cock, solid as a rock, bobs around as he moves back onto the bed. Nestling himself between your legs, he effortlessly pushes his cock inside. The instant relief he feels as soon as he makes contact causes him to groan.
With his head buried into your neck as he picked up his pace, he couldn’t see the tears falling down your face. It wasn’t the pain from him fucking you but the pain you felt coming from him with every thrust he gave. Taking out his frustrations with each one.
Slowly he comes to a stop before ceasing his movements all together. You can feel his body shaking as he holds you tightly.
“Jake?”
He doesn’t respond with words. Instead he removes himself from inside of you and rolls his body over to pull himself up into a sitting position.
“Jake..”
“I can’t do this..”
You sit up as well and rest your hand on his shoulder. “We don’t have to..”
“I want to!” He exclaims before burying his face in his hands. “But I’m still so fucking hurt.. I feel as if I’m not good enough for you.”
“Not good–Jake, that’s not true.”
You can’t see his face but you tell by the way his jaw clenches he’s fighting back his tears. “Then why did you leave me?” His voice cracks. He turns his head slightly to glance at you over his shoulder.
“I–l..” You stammer as you pull your hand away from his shoulder. “I did what I thought was best for me but I also didn’t want to be the reason you and him grew apart. This band–Jake–this is your dream. I couldn’t risk you losing Danny over something so childish..”
“You think our relationship was childish?”
“No!” You groan. “Our relationship was special–What I meant was childish was the way things transpired after we told Danny about us.” You graze your hand gently along his jaw and gingerly wipe away the stray tear that falls down his cheek. “I’m sorry that I ever made you feel like you weren’t enough and I’m sorry that I hurt you. If I could go back and change everything, I would, but I can’t.” Your own tears begin to fall again. “But I still love you–and I don’t expect you to forgive me nor do I expect you to still love me too..”
He sighs and lowers his head. “Of course I still love you.” He softly speaks as he rests his hand against yours on his face.
Reaching over towards him, you press your lips against his. He slowly begins to deepen the kiss. Not out of lust but out of passion, love, want, and need. Twisting his body and not once breaking the connection, he hovers over you. Hitching your leg up on his hips, he picks up where he left off. Hearing you moaning his name spurred him on. It didn’t take long until he found a steady pace that was good for the both of you.
The headboard began hitting the wall followed by a pounding of a fist against the other side. “Jake!” You both hear Josh’s muffled voice. “Now is not the time!”
The both of you burst into laughter. “Put on some headphones!” He shouts back. “Now where were we?”
You giggle and roll the two of you over so that you are on top. Planting your hands on his chest, you roll your hips a little before lifting them and sinking back down. You kept the pace until you could feel him twitch inside of you.
“Well that quick.” You smirk.
His hand connects with your ass cheek as he laughs. “I haven’t had sex in three weeks–I needed this.”
“Wait for me, I’m almost there.” You say. Reaching his hand between the two of you, he rubs his thumb against your clit with a little pressure. “Oh fuck..”
He feels your walls clench around him but he doesn’t stop. He thrust his hips upwards pushing himself deeper inside of you. “Come on baby, cover me.” He urges. Finally you both reach your climax and he’s crying out your name. Coming down from your high, you move from on top of him and collapse onto the bed beside him. You rest your head on his chest, listening to his heart as it races inside.
It was quiet for a little while. Neither one of you is speaking a word. But lifting your head to look at him, you find that his eyes are closed and light snores coming from his mouth.
Hearing your phone buzz from your bag, you untangle yourself from Jake as softly as you could as to not wake him. Climbing out of bed, you grab your damp towel to wrap around your body and grab your phone from your bag.
Josh’s name shows on the screen followed by his text.
Are ya’ll done? Can I sleep now?
You stifle your laughter and send him a message back before climbing back into bed. Jake stirs a little as he turns onto his side. His eyes slightly open and he gives you a lazy smile.
“I fell asleep..” He grumbles.
“Not for long..” You say cuddling back up to him.
He wraps his arm around your body and pulls you close. Afraid of ever letting you go again. He also makes a mental note to talk to Danny–to straighten things out and apologize. But for now, all he wanted to do was sleep and keep you close to him.
_____________________________________________________
tag list:
@losfacedevil @lightmylove-gvf @ignite-my-fire @ohgodthefeeling-gvf @writingcold @jaketlove @mackalah @lexii-nv-c @thetroublegetssoloud71 @emilykamo @em-gvf01 @katiegvf @joshkiszkaenthusiast @takenbythemadness @jakekiszkasmommy @objectsinspvce @gvfmarge @heckingfrick @bluemeadows77 @laneygvf (if I missed anyone, I apologize, remind me in the replies :) )
If you want to be added to the tag list, feel free to reach out! :)
#greta van fleet fic#jake kiszka#jake kiszka fanfic#greta van fleet fanfic#jake kiszka fic#greta van fleet#jake kiszka smut#dirty little secret
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Sooo mad petrellicest is losing lmao, put some fucking respect on their name! What tf even is sharp objects? But Heroes was a fucking flagship show that everyone was watching and literally in the first episode Peter says "it's biological. I can't help it. We're connected." and then the final episode of s1 they literally have the big "I love you" scene and then fly off to explode together. Not to mention the deleted treehouse scene from s2 where Nathan very heavily implies *something* went on between him and Peter there when they were younger (bearing in mind Peter is twelve years younger than him) and that he went back there the first night his powers manifested (which is also exactly the same time his brother's powers manifested) and he's so fucking distressed about it. Also in season 3 he tries so hard to seduce Peter by coming to his apartment before their date and licking his fucking lips at him. Also anon underplayed the "Peter crucified someone to try and save Nathan" like not only that, he NAIL GUNNED him to a board, said "give Nathan back to me BODY AND SOUL" and tried to FORCE THE GUY TO SHAPESHIFT BACK INTO HIS ALREADY DEAD BROTHER. NOBODY was doing it like them, sorry. The actors were in on it, the creator was in on it, the fucking music people were in on it - shout-out Wendy and Lisa. (Anyway all this and more on @petrellicest - if this poll or this ask encourages anyone to watch heroes then I will be more than delighted). I also would have submitted Nathan/Angela (his mom) since apparently THOSE weird vibes were entirely intentional from the start and I'm sick in the head, but I know that would have been just me lol
Also can't believe Jonas/Martha didn't even make the list. More people need to watch Dark. More timeloop incest than you can shake a stick at.
Anon I mean this is the most neutral way I am not trying to disparage heroes it genuinely seems cool it won many awards and the propaganda people have submitted makes me want to check it out! But it is soooo funny to go what tf is sharp objects and then call heroes a flagship show everyone was watching...sharp objects is Gillian Flynn's (you may know her as the author of Gone Girl) extremely successful debut novel that was adapted into a miniseries starring very famous celebrity Amy Adams and the main character and her sister kiss with tongue
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Already losing my mind over your footy au, it’s so perfect. Thanks so much for sharing this brilliant joy with us :’)
[this is ava's pov, so technically a few deleted scenes that won't be in the main fic. still gay & eventually a little nod to christmas lol. @unicyclehippo & @analogoose thank u for accepting that i am on pacific time in california & it is indeed still christmas for me lmao]
//
beatrice is a revelation.
you remember the first time you had watched her play, when you were thirteen and she debuted for her club at the senior level at sixteen, this phenom, and everyone was talking about her. you remember being in awe of how steady she was, serious and focused and beautiful, even though you’re sure she was nervous: she was pretty, and young, with a sharp jaw and skin a few shades darker than yours, lovely, freckles and bright eyes. most importantly, when she was subbed on in the 61’, she seemed unafraid.
mostly you remember a moment — her jersey tucked in solemnly and perfect into her shorts, her socks even at her knees, her hair somehow staying put in a neat bun — where she won a tackle at midfield, carried it, drew three defenders, and then played the most beautiful through ball you had ever seen. shannon finished, but it was an easy tap in, past the goalkeeper, and you sat on your small, hard bed and looked at the planes of her face light up when she smiled. mary patted her head and shannon gave her a tight hug and you knew, even then, that she was going to be the best player in the world.
it’s surreal to play with her, now, to sit beside her in the locker room and take note of the older lines of her face, her lighter hair, her meticulous skin care routine — an exact order of small, expensive serums and sunscreen — and the way her mouth sets in a grimace when she’s running through physical therapy exercises next to you. the way she talks to your teammates, clear and calm and kind, no matter what’s happening; the way she holds her chin high when she kneels for the anthem and wears her rainbow captain’s armband; the way she moves with the ball like she’s dancing, like she’s absolutely sure there’s no one who can stop her — it’s mesmerizing and a little intoxicating. you think everyone is at least a little bit in love with her.
but somehow, miraculously, a little bit, she thinks you’re special.
she thinks she’s subtle, you’re pretty sure, but no one else gets her to laugh like you do. she puts up with your constant antics and your overwhelming exuberance and terrible puns. she listens to you, quiet and with her unwavering, full attention when you explain to her, one day in the locker room, late, when everyone else had already gone home. she’d gotten mad at you earlier in training, for not tracking back, for going halfheartedly into tackles; she’s seen the scar on your back and been in physical therapy with you for months now.
‘i — i got hurt, going in for a tackle,’ you say, your voice breaking and too loud for the empty locker room, hands trembling, eyes filling with tears. ‘i didn’t have a choice; someone hit my back and then i couldn’t walk, i couldn’t move. i’m trying, okay? i’m so scared, every single fucking tackle. i’m doing the best i can.’ your breath is coming so fast and your chest is tight; you have to sit down and put your head in your hands. ‘fuck.’
she stands still, holding a soft sweater you know she’ll drape over her shoulders, over her perfectly pressed button up, even though she’s probably just going home. she stands still and, mortifyingly, you think she’s going to cry too, which is even worse than just you crying.
‘fuck, i’m sorry,’ you say again. she sits next to you and shakes her head.
‘ava,’ she says, ‘i’m sorry.’ she takes your hand gently and it’s a little reverent, and your heart settles and blooms: it’s only been a few months, but she’s home. she’s safe and thoughtful and steadfast and brave.
it’s not the first time you think it, but it’s the clearest: i love you, you want to tell her.
‘sometimes i forget how hard your career has been,’ she says, ‘how difficult; how i haven’t ever experienced the pain you have.’ she swallows, looks down at her own hands. ‘healing of all kinds isn’t linear, and sometimes it’s slow.’
it’s true: you had lost, for a long time, your favorite thing in the world, the very thing that had made you feel most alive. you had felt nothing; you had hurt, and hurt, and hurt.
‘but it is my job as your captain to see you through this.’
you’d convinced her to go dancing the other night with you, during a bye week, and she had let her hair down and laughed into your neck. she’s beautiful; she was so beautiful, free and unburdened. she had looked at you too.
‘just your job?’
she smiles, gentle and small and just for you. ‘well,’ she says, ‘and my pleasure.’
/
beatrice is contained, though, toward mostly everyone. you don’t think she’d ever really admit it, either, but you know she’s lonely, in her beautiful house by the water — without color, sparse and modern, and you bring her little trinkets and pillows and candles and flowers and soft throws in yellow, in orange, in a treasured sage green she seems to love. she has her tailored, loose linen, always chic and always professional. she has strict nutrition, carefully made meals from the team chef systematically stacked in neat tupperware in her fridge. you know you’ve, mostly out of sheer annoyance and stubborn, unrelenting affection, wormed your way under her skin — so you take a gamble.
she’s still religious, or at least takes a great deal of comfort in routine and prayer and worship, so you wait until after you’re pretty sure christmas morning mass is over. you’d never say it yourself, either, for that matter, but you’re lonely too, sometimes, and you love her bright smile and freckles and the way she eats whatever you order for dinner when you spend time at her house.
you shoot your shot, wherever that’ll end up, and order a bunch of birthday balloons, a shiny silver 2 and 6, and throw in a few silly christmas ones too, just for the spirit. you buy her a delicate chain, really pushing your luck because it’s plain white gold, elegant and a little romantic, some kind of gesture. you add in a crisp, extremely expensive cotton crew neck, which you’d seen pulled up on her phone while you’d lowkey been snooping. you make chocolate chip cookies — well, really, camila makes them after you burn the first batch, and she rolls her eyes when you explain they’re for bea, but it’s fond and you’re way too obvious; she knows how you feel anyway — and put them in a tupperware. you find the dumbest possible birthday card you can, a little bit obscene, and write, dear beatrice, happy birthday! you’re an old lady now, or something. you steal the show from jesus, in my opinion :) you deserve to be celebrated. once you write the last line you want to cringe, but you only have the one card and you can’t scribble it out at this point. fuck it, you think, and sign love, ava and put it in the envelope, lick the flap and press it shut before you can take it back.
you unload all of the balloons from your car, a little ridiculous, and fit them, and your presents, and your cookies, and a bottle of veuve, and a bouquet of sunflowers — her favorite — into your arms and trundle to her front door and ring the doorbell. there’s definitely a chance she’s not home — still at mass or, probably, doing some kind of aikido training or on a run or swim, maybe even alone at the training grounds — but then, to your immense relief and immediate delight, she opens the door. if beatrice in her careful, neat outfits is revelatory, beatrice in a pair of sweatshorts and a hoodie, her sunny hair tousled and swept almost carelessly over a shoulder, is a fucking miracle.
‘i thought —’ she says, her brow furrowed, seemingly a little lost, ‘you’re not my sushi order.’
‘happy birthday!’ you say, and hold out the balloons. ‘and merry christmas!’
it takes her a second but then a big smile blooms on her face, and you’re so relieved you might cry. she takes the balloons from you with a laugh and then the flowers, carefully. ‘thank you, ava,’ she says, so happy and so genuine. ‘would you like to come in? i don’t think i can enjoy all of this on my own.’
that had obviously been your plan; you wore loose pants and a crop top, her favorite even though she pretends to never notice. you even washed your hair this morning instead of just settling for dry shampoo or a little cap like you sometimes do since you cut it when you’re tired or your back is hurting too much to want to move your arms above your head — a truth you’ll never tell, not anyone. she fidgets with the hair tie around her wrist, and instead of saying anything normal, you bump her hip in the doorway, your faces way too close, and not close enough. ‘leave your hair down. i like it like this.’
she just blushes and nods and steps back; you follow her to the kitchen, embarrassed, but then she carefully puts the flowers in a vase, a little reverent, and you it settles you. she softly tells you that she'd been to mass and sung her favorite hymns; that she misses the snow sometimes, even though she loves the ocean.
‘how did you know it was my birthday?’ she asks, after the flowers are situated and you’re curled on her couch, your feet tucked under her thighs, after she’s opened her presents quietly and read your card, which had made her sniffle and she’d squeezed your hand afterward.
other than the fact that you and your teammates had sang to her over a cake before you’d left to go on break, ‘i’ve read your wikipedia.’
it’s, like, way too true, and it’s out before you can take it back, but then she just laughs, grants you grace as always.
‘i’ve read your wikipedia too,’ she says, quietly, but you sit up to give her a high five, which makes her laugh again. she grows serious, and soft, and puts her chin in the crook of her elbow balanced on the top of the couch cushion. her eyes are so gorgeous and you’re close enough to count her freckles like stars in the fading winter light.
something might happen; your body is practically bursting at the seams for it, but then the doorbell rings and you both kind of jump.
‘probably my actual sushi order.’ she gets up and pads to the door, comes back with what is probably enough sushi for four people.
‘did you… order delivery sushi from a michelin star restaurant?’ you ask, infinitely amused when you see the branding.
she waves her chopsticks around in dismissal. ‘it’s my birthday.’ she purses her lips and delicately picks up a piece of ginger. ‘and i’m rich.’
you laugh so suddenly you’re lucky a whole piece of spicy albacore doesn’t just explode out of your mouth; you couch into a napkin instead. she doesn’t tease you, although she does look on in a little alarm. she had, surprisingly, ordered a bottle of sake, you notice once you’ve recovered with a few coughs, and you get it out with a cheer. ‘yes, beatrice! live it up!’
you share your sake and the best sushi you’ve had in your entire life, sitting on the floor at her coffee table, until you’re full and a little tipsy. you open the bottle of veuve, because she’s tipsy enough to let you, to follow along in your wake as you do everything in your power to feel it all. she pops it carefully, with a towel over the cork, even, but it doesn’t stop you from cheering like you’ve just won the champions league, and it brings a delicious smile to her mouth that you very narrowly avoid kissing.
she pours expertly in stemless, elegant champagne flutes and you lift yours toward. ‘to the best captain and the best friend,’ you say, and it’s incomplete but it’s sincere all the same, something brimming underneath the surface neither of you are quite ready to name. ‘happy birthday, bea.’
she clinks her glass with yours and you drink champagne, bundled in blankets, and eat an insane amount of chocolate chip cookies, on her balcony that looks over the sea, settled onto one comfortable beach chair; she’d let you squeeze beside her without any protest.
‘thank you, ava, for coming over.’
‘yeah, uh, of course.’ you squeeze her strong, bare calf, just above the scar on her ankle. ‘i didn’t — i was alone today, too. i figured we shouldn’t have to be alone.’
she swallows and puts her hand on yours. ‘you’re right. we shouldn’t.’
you rest your head on her chest. ‘strong heartbeat for twenty-six.’
the soft rumble of her laugh matches the waves, and she runs her hands along your face, buries them in your hair for a moment. ‘i like your hair, like this,’ she says.
‘yeah?’ she’s definitely drunk by now, her eyes a little glassy when you look up at her, and you’d give everything — money, your gorgeous apartment with camila, pizza, football — to kiss her.
‘yes,’ she says, and looks up at the stars. ‘i remember watching you play, before —‘ you tense a little, and she just soothes a hand along your spine. ‘before. and it was long. just — like everyone else.’
you have no idea what to say; you suppose it’s true. ‘you watched me play.’
‘of course,’ she says, an easy truth that ignites something low in your stomach. ‘ava, you’re not like everyone else. not at all. you’re the most — ‘ she shakes her head, trips over her words — ‘you’re the most extraordinary person i’ve ever known.’
you take a few deep breaths and then kiss her collarbone. ‘i — feel the same, about you.’
she smiles, and you settle again on her chest; you listen to her heart racing.
‘you know,’ you say, ‘i just wanted to look more bisexual. that was the motivation for this haircut.’
it gets a booming laugh from her, better than any goal.
‘swear to god.’
she kisses the top of your head and then gracefully untangles herself from you, offers a hand. ‘i can order you an uber,’ she says. ‘or — it’s christmas, they’re probably, you know, inconvenient.’
‘you want me to stay?’
please don’t leave me alone; please don’t leave me. it’s unspoken and aching and easy. she nods. ‘if you want.’
‘you have food for the morning that’s not a little prepackaged omlette?’
she frowns.
‘well then we’re going to get brunch, okay? deal?’
she rolls her eyes but she leads you to her bedroom by the hand; there’s no question when she pulls back the fluffy, perfectly white duvet, that she wants you in bed with her. she gets you a pair of sleep shorts and a long-sleeve t-shirt, club issued but old and soft and worn, and it smells like her; she turns her back as you take off your clothes and change, leave them in a careless pile on a chair that makes her roll her eyes.
you snuggle up to her in bed and she turns over; your heart swells when she scoots back into you and you wrap an arm around her waist; she sighs. i love you, you want to say, i fucking love you so much, i’m going to die if i don’t kiss you soon. i love you, please.
‘happy birthday.’
she squeezes your hand, and then she falls asleep.
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the order of the phoenix members & co as incorrect quotes pt 2
(as an anniversary post to one of my favorite incorrect quote collections)
molly: Alright, listen up you little shits.
molly: Not you Harry. You’re an angel and we’re thrilled you’re here.
-
tonks: Hey guys, I found a spider. Cool little lad. Thanks for eating the mosquitos.
tonks: Oh no, where did it go?
mad-eye, standing on a chair: TONKS WHAT THE FUCK?!
-
remus: Snape has only scowled at me three times this week. Our acquaintanceship is really improving.
-
dumbledore: I've been expecting you, harry.
harry: How did you do that without turning around?
dumbledore: Let's just say the first few people I did that to were not you.
-
kingsley, warning about a death eater coming at tonks: To the left! tonks: Take it back now y'all!
-
tonks: What happened to your nose?
mad-eye: I used it to break someone's fist.
-
snape: You read my diary?
dumbledore: At first I did not know it was your diary. I thought it was a handwritten book about a kind of sad fellow. And then I came to a chapter called 'I hate my fucking bosses,' and thought it sounded a little too familiar.
-
sirius: I apologize for saying 'fuck' during the meeting and horrifying these dear kids.
molly: You just said it again.
sirius: I am not a role model.
-
tonks: Mad-eye said it's my turn with the brain cell! sirius: Alright, square up-
-
sirius: What do you call a dictionary on drugs?
kingsley: "Addict-ionary"?
sirius: I was actually going to say "high definition", but your answer's much better.
kingsley:…
-
dumbledore: It’s nice to be wanted, you know?
minerva: Not by the law!
-
remus, during deathly hallows probably: There’s always that weak little shit in the group who isn’t down with murder.
remus: *glares at harry*
harry: Well, sorry I have morals!
-
tonks: So if our plan goes poorly, where should we meet up?
mad-eye: The afterlife, probably.
-
molly: Where are you going?
fred and george: To either get ice cream or commit a felony. We'll decide on the way.
-
tonks: You didn't think maybe we'd need some actual weapons?
dumbledore: Knowledge is the best weapon-
tonks: I’m pretty sure weapon is the best weapon.
-
*trying to solve some mystery*
ron: I've connected the two dots.
hermione: You didn't connect shit.
ron: I've connected them.
-
tonks: Who the fuck-
kingsley: Language!
tonks: Whomst the fuck-
kingsley: No.
-
mundungus: I think I mostly want to see what happens when this whole place breaks apart.
-
hermione: Harry says thanks for popping by. He’d love to chat but he's up to his eyes in homework. perhaps if you could come by next week-
snape and remus, coming to check on him: He’s climbing out the window isn’t he?
hermione:
-
sirius: *closes a cabinet*
a crash is heard behind the cabinet door
molly: What was that?
sirius:
sirius: The sound of someone else's problem.
-
*after discussing a plan*
dumbledore: Does anyone have any questions?
kingsley: Is this legal?
dumbledore: Does anyone have any relevant questions?
-
tonks: Hey mad-eye, are you awake?
mad-eye: what
tonks: Are you awake?
mad-eye: Who the fuck do you think just said ‘what’?
-
harry, at the end of order of the phoenix: You guys really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?
arthur: Several air traffic violations.
kingsley: Three counts of resisting arrest.
mad-eye: Roughly thirteen bottles of firewhiskey (collectively).
tonks: *pointing at the knight bus* Also, that's not our bus.
Bonus:
dedalus, hestia, and those other guys in the order who are rarely mentioned in the books watching the main characters' shit go down: -The actual fuck is happening now??
#i feel like that first quote was invented exactly to describe harry and molly's interactions lol#harry potter#order of the phoenix#hp incorrect quotes#nymphadora tonks#albus dumbledore#minerva mcgonagall#mad eye moody#kingsley shacklebolt#sirius black#remus lupin#severus snape#molly weasley#ron weasley#hermione granger
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