#sorry sappy posting but like I finally understand and I love him so much
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I never really understood connecting to fictional characters but Jesus. I’m so similar to Shane 😭 He switched to sparkling water after alcohol treatment, I switched to sparkling water after rehab. He’s very confused and feels stuck but knows he wants a future. He loves hot peppers just like me 😭 I just… the writing of his character is so so realistic and I just adore him.
#sorry sappy posting but like I finally understand and I love him so much#i now understand fanfic#lmao#Shane sdv#stardew valley#shane stardew valley#tw alcohol#tw alchohol mention#alcohol mention#cw alcohol
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Just because I Won’t Die For You, Doesn’t Mean I Won’t Kill For You
A long ass Lloyd Hansen One Shot
~~
I’m apologizing now because the story I originally had planned, and what I actually wrote, are two completely different things. I was completely fine with Lloyd being a villain, but then my sappy ass was like “okay, but what if he wasn’t?”. This is his villain origin story basically, and no one asked for or needed it. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’M SORRY. Honestly, if they ever do a study on my brain, it’ll be pointless because they’ll never find out what the fuck is wrong with me. I’m telling y’all now, this is EXTREMELY smut heavy, with cute moments here and there. Part 2 is going to be all of the cute stuff. Just work with me. Anyway, here’s another fucking novel because I’m annoying and don’t know when to stop. There were supposed to be pictures of the outfits reader wears, but this shit is already so long. Maybe in part 2 if I ever learn to tone it down. Anyway, have fun!
Word Count: 43,950 (Listen, I said I wanted this done in under 45,000 words. Be proud of me, dammit)
Warnings: Honestly, this whole fucking story is a warning. SMUT, so much fucking smut (I’m so sorry), anal, squirting, choking, slapping, Daddy kink, Mommy kink, Degrading kink, Swearing, Drinking, Smoking, Angst, Lusting, Violence, Public Sex, Daddy Issues, Murder, Lloyd Hansen (lets face it, he’s a warning on his own), Some manipulation (I guess), Family drama, Loss...Minors if you even blink at this I’ll snitch on you.
Song(s) That Inspired This: I Brought You My Love, You Brought Me Your Bullets.
Summary: Lloyd Hansen is just another job for you. Your last job. However, when he decides that he wants to take you for a ride and have a good time, well...how’s a girl supposed to say no?
I do not give consent for my works/stories to be posted elsewhere. I do not condone this type of behavior, this is for entertainment purposes only.
~~
Part 1
“Lloyd, are you sure-”
“Ask me that question one more time, and I promise you won’t like the answer,” I mutter as Agent Miranda’s lifeless body hits the ground. “Trust me, Carmichael, I know exactly what I’m doing. If there’s one thing Y/N taught me, it’s impulse control,” I smirk.
“If you say so,” he sighs into my earpiece. “If you know where Fitzroy is, why not just weed him out now?”
“Impulse control, my friend. All about impulse control.”
6 Years Earlier...
“I don’t understand why Lloyd Hansen is our responsibility,” you mumble as you sit in your Father’s office.
“Because it’s what we do,” he sighs, tired of having the same talk with you.
“Okay, let me fix that. Why is Lloyd my responsibility?”
“Because you’re the best there is!” he snaps, slamming his hand down on the table. “That’s how I trained you, that’s how I raised you! To be the best and get the job done! The government sees a lot of potential in this man, so we’ve got to get him into shape!”
“We don’t have shit to do with the government!”
“We train assassins because we are assassins, Y/N.”
“Whatever, where’s his file?”
“Here,” he mumbles, tossing you the file.
“Before this month is up, I’m putting in my two weeks.”
“Y/N-”
“No Father, I’m tired of this shit. I’m not you. Just because I’m good at killing people, doesn’t mean I want keep fuckin’ doing it.”
“Y/N, you’re one of the best and I know this was never the life you wanted, but-”
“I’m not going back and forth about this. My mind is made up and that’s final.”
“How is it that you always break my heart?”
“When you’re not trying, you’re an easy man to break,” you smile weakly. “Let me go get started on Lloyd,” you sigh, grabbing his file before making your way out.
Your Father doesn’t love anything or anyone besides you. Maybe it’s because you’ve never wanted for anything, maybe it’s because you stayed out of the way when you were a child, maybe it’s because you don’t bother him, or maybe it’s because you became extremely talented at the family business without much help from anyone.
Or, just maybe, it’s because you’re his daughter.
Whatever the reason may be, he’s taken an extra sense of pride in you being so good at your job, which has resulted in multiple arguments whenever you tell him that you wanna move on and do something else with your life. You never meant to be good at killing people, it just came naturally.
It is the family business after all.
You stand outside the “classroom” and sigh before grabbing the remote clicker and making your way inside.
‘This is the last time you’ll have to do this,’ you tell yourself as you take a seat on your desk and look him over. ‘Well, they certainly sent you a good looking one this time.’
Lloyd is the text book definition of a gorgeous man, and going by what his file says, he’s had a good life. His Father owns a construction company, and his his mother was a beauty pageant queen turned stay at home mom when he was born. His grades were amazing, he was great at sports until a football injury made him quit, and he was voted most likely to succeed in High School.
He was top of his class when he was training to become a member of the CIA, his accuracy is amazing, and he doesn’t fail the jobs he’s given. His problem? Cruel and unusual torture methods, 0 impulse control, bad ethics, pays no attention to authority, throws all caution to the wind, and the list goes on.
“I take it you’re supposed to be my teacher for all this,” he smirks at you, as you hop on the desk; looking you over as you cross your legs.
“That would be correct, Hansen. Looks like you got kicked out of Academy.”
“That would be the case.”
“Care to share with the class what’s so wrong with you?”
“Excuse me?”
“What’s your damage, Lloyd? Why are you so fucked up?”
“You’re the one holding my file.”
“And none of it adds up, so you tell me, what’s your problem?”
“Isn’t that your job?”
“Oh Sweetie, no” you smile at him. “My job is to fix you enough for the government to use you until you’re dead. That’s what we specialize in here.”
“Is that something I’m supposed to want?”
“You’re the one who signed up for the CIA, Sweetheart. I didn’t tell you to.”
“Well, what the fuck is your problem?”
“Pick something another day and we can talk in depth about it,” you smile before pressing the button on the clicker, sending a a jolt of electricity through him.
“JESUS!”
“You’re losing focus, Lloyd. That doesn’t do well with me.”
“What the fuck is this?!”
“It’s a school for fuck ups, Sweetie. I thought they explained that to you.”
“Yeah, they didn’t say it was a school for torture!”
“Eh, isn’t it all the same, really?”
“Listen-”
“No no, you listen Honey,” you coo as you get off the table and hit the clicker again causing him to jolt. “I’m your trainer...your teacher,if you will. You’re mine for a month. That’s a month of you doing as I say, going into combat with me, learning from me and my team, and all of those fun things,” you finish, leaning on the desk next to his.
“And if I don’t pass your little class?”
“That’s up to Fitzroy and his little gang of minions. After a month, you’re no longer my concern,” you shrug.
“And what makes you so good at all of this?”
“You’re straying again, Dear. I don’t like that,” you taunt before hitting the clicker again and turning, slowly making your way back to the desk.
“Would you knock that off?!”
“Only when you learn to fall in line, and its such a shame for you, cause I’ve got another 4 hours with ya, babe,” you smile sadistically at him.
“Oh, for fucks sake!”
“You know what I think the problem is, Lloyd? I think the problem is that you like to fuck.”
“What?”
“You like to fuck. In fact, you love to fuck, but you don’t love to get fucked.”
“What the hell does that have to do with anything?”
“Control, Sweetie. See, you love to fuck because you love being in control. Getting fucked means someone else is in control and you hate that.”
“Yeah? Well, what about you?”
“I love to fuck and get fucked. Both are very enjoyable if you do it right.”
“And I take it you’re gonna fuck me?”
“In ways you can’t even begin to imagine,” you smile darkly.
For the next 4 hours, Lloyd is your little pet.You zap him when he steps out of line, you get him to open up more about what exactly snapped in his brain that makes him act the way he does, and you get him to tell you exactly why he wants to be apart of the CIA.
“We’re gonna meet back here at 8am on Monday, so be ready to do some field work,” you sigh after checking the time.
“That’s it?” Lloyd groans, and you can tell he’s exhausted.
“I’ve got everything I need,” you smile at him.
“I barely said anything?”
“Trust me, you said more than enough,” you practically sing. “Enjoy your weekend!” you call over your shoulder before you exit the room.
When you step back into the hallway, Cahill, Fitzroy, and your Father are all standing there waiting.
“Hes got a 50/50 chance,” you shrug, handing his file back to your Father.
“Well, what the fuck does that mean?” Fitzroy scoffs.
“Exactly what the fuck it sounds like. He needs to be in control, but if pushed far enough, he can let someone else hold the reigns for a while.”
“Think you’ll be able to whip him into shape in a month?” Cahill asks, looking into the “classroom”.
“All depends on how bad he wants to be apart of your little team,” you smile sarcastically, before turning and walking away. “See you all on Monday!”
“What about Hansen?!” your Father calls after you.
“Send him home, send him to the bunks downstairs, do whatever you want. I’m officially off the clock. I don’t care!”
“Y/N!”
“See ya Monday, Father!” you respond, continuing on your way out.
The drive back to your house is probably the most simple drive you’ve ever had. Traffic is a breeze and you’re more ready than ever to kick off your weekend. You’re more than over all of the shit with your family’s business, and you just wanna forget who you are for the next two days.
“Hey, am I coming to get you, are you coming to get me, am I meeting you at your place, or are we just meeting up at the club?” Taj asks as you answer her call, making your way into your house.
“What works for you?”
“Uh oh, what’s wrong?”
“I told my dad I want out, again.”
“And?”
“He’s not happy about it.”
“I honestly can’t see how your Father is surprised that his daughter doesn’t want to take over a waste management company.”
“He’s a stubborn man,” you scoff, plopping down on your sofa.
“Well, you stood your ground, right?”
“Yeah, but it doesn’t matter. He’s gonna argue with me until my last day there,” you mutter, turning on the TV.
“I’ll come to you,” Taj beams and you chuckle. “Just relax and unwind for now, and we’ll get ready together. Sound like a plan?”
“You sure?”
“I’ll see you in 20,” she practically sings before hanging up.
You chuckle before tossing your phone to the side as your work phone starts going off.
‘I can’t wait to be done with this shit,’ you think to yourself before answering the call. “No,” is all you say before hanging up and tossing your phone to the side.
Yeah, the argument can be made that you’re being a brat, but at this point, that’s more on them than you. It’s part of the reason you want out. You never signed up to be an assassin, really. Your Father saw how good you were at it, and decided it was the life for you.
No, he didn’t ask, but it’s not like you ever really protested. There was no reason to. Your Mother was dead and you didn’t have much of a life. Why make a fuss if there was no reason for one? You and your Father had made peace with the issues between you two a long time ago, the main issue being your Mother, and you just kind of made your own way from there.
It wasn’t until you were 17 that you decided that you really didn’t want the life your Father had created for you. It’s cold, it’s lonely, it’s thankless, it’s dangerous, and there’s no fun in it.
No love.
When your work phone goes off again, you groan in frustration. “NO!” you yell when you answer it. “Whatever it is can wait until Monday!”
“Your Father-”
“I don’t care!” you snap, hating how much you sound like a petulant child. “Monday, you can all piss me off as much as you want. Until then, fuck off!”
You’re quick to hang up before throwing your phone down on your coffee table.
You just want to be free from all of it. Obviously, the life you live offers you luxuries that you know most jobs won’t, but it’s not worth it. None of it is worth it. Besides, you’ve made enough money to not have to worry about anything. You can comfortably sit on your ass for the rest of your life if you want, but you know you could never do that.
You love art, animals, plants, hiking, nature, cooking...you want to do something that has to do with the things you love.
You want to do something normal.
You sigh in frustration before getting up and heading to the kitchen, taking out a glass and pulling out your favorite bottle of whiskey.
It’s time to start pre-gaming.
You’re halfway through your second glass when your doorbell rings.
“Open up, bitch!” Taj yells and you stifle a laugh. “We’re getting DRUNK tonight!”
“My neighbors can hear you,” you laugh as you open the door.
“Then they should get drunk too!” she yells before wrapping you in a tight hug. “What’s going on, babe?”
“I’m just...I’m worn out,” you mumble as you two break apart and step aside to let her in. “It’s time for a change.”
“He gave you a hard time when you told him you’re leaving?”
“He wants to talk to me, made one of his employees call me, but I told them that whatever he has to say can wait till Monday.”
“I’m sorry you got stuck with the shittier parent,” she sighs, grabbing her own glass and pouring herself a drink.
“It’s not even that he’s shitty. He just doesn’t know how to be a parent. He never even wanted to be a parent. It’s never been lost on me that I was an accident. I don’t know...I know he loves me, but this is something we’re never gonna see eye to eye on. I can already tell that the closer we get to the end of the month, the uglier this whole thing is gonna get,” you sigh.
“Well, lets not worry about that right now,” she smiles at you as she takes your hand “we’ve got a girl’s night to get ready for.”
“It’s gonna be one for the books,” you smirk before grabbing your drink and dragging her up the stairs.
In almost no time at all, you find yourself almost completely forgetting about all of the things you’re stressed about. Taj blasts your “party night” playlist as you take a shower and wash the day off of you, letting yourself ignore that you’ve been lying to absolute best friend about what you’ve been doing for a living since you were 14 years old. It doesn’t matter that, on Monday, you have to go in and collect paperwork for the next mission you have to do, while train someone else to be the perfect little killer.
None of it matters because, for the weekend, you can pretend. You can pretend you’re normal and that you do have a normal job. You’ve got a normal Father and your Mother didn’t die because of his lack of care and consideration.
You can pretend you live a normal fucking life.
“Okay, you BAD FUCKING BITCH!” Taj yells, as you step out of the bathroom in your outfit for the nigh, and burst out into a fit of laughter.
You decide on a black cross halter top and mini plaid skirt, with knee high black boots.
“You just decided to choose violence tonight,” she smirks.
“I just want to feel young and carefree.”
“You are young and carefree.”
“Yeah, but I don’t feel it,” you mumble as Taj laughs.
“Don’t worry, tonight’s gonna be great,” she smiles, wrapping you in a tight hug.
As you hug her back, you let the rest of your fears and anxiety fall away. For the weekend, you’re able to just forget everything.
Lloyd’s P.O.V.
“She tortures you with electrics shocks?” Carmichael asks as we grab our drinks from the bar.
“That’s her being pleasant,” I scoff as we both make our way to the guard rail of the balcony. “She’s a piece of work, I’ll say that much.”
“It’s only for a month.”
“Fitzroy can fuck off. The only reason he sent me there is because he’s pissed that I made the right call.”
“Well, that and you did kill an innocent by stander.”
“It was bad enough that she was there. All her crying wasn’t helping a damn thing. It was boring and annoying,” I shrug before catching a glimpse of the last person I expected to see. “Well, what do we have a here? There’s my little Cupcake right there,” I smirk, watching you on the dance floor with someone I’m assuming and hoping is your friend.
“She’s the one whipping you into shape?”
“The bane of my existence.”
“Someone who looks like that, I would’ve guessed that you would want to be on your best behavior so that you can fuck ‘em.”
“Who says I’m not?” I question as I watch you sing along to whatever song is playing as you dance along by shaking your hips.
It was hard enough to ignore my cock twitching during your little evaluation, even with you zapping me to death, but now? That little outfit you have on as you dance and drink the night away? How the fuck am I supposed to contain myself?
The woman you are on that dance floor is completely different from the woman you are in training.
Fuck, I wanna take you right here and now.
Impulse Control.
“What are you thinking, Lloyd?” Denny chuckles before finishing off his drink.
“I’m thinking that, before the month is up, she’ll be under me and apologizing for being such a pain in the ass.”
Y/N’s P.O.V.
“I need a smoke,” you laugh as Taj orders you both another round of shots.
“You’re supposed to be quitting!”
“Yeah, that’s not happening tonight,” you laugh as you pull your pack of cigarettes out of your purse. “I’ll be back in a little!”
“Ya know, that guy up there has been staring at you for about 30 minutes now,” she says quickly, eyeing a guy in the balcony.
You can’t help but burst out laughing when you follow her gaze and see who’s at the other end of it. “Yeah, he probably wants to kill me.”
“Who is he?”
“Our new trainee. I was a little rough with him today and he’s probably a little hurt.”
“Well, he looks like he wants to steal you, so be careful when you go out there. Also, if you do survive, please send him my way.”
“I’ll put in a good word,” you laugh before making your way outside.
You take two drags from of your cigarette before you hear the door close behind you.
“You know, smoking isn’t an attractive trait.”
“You know, giving your unwanted opinion isn’t an attractive trait.”
“Y/N.”
“Lloyd,” you smile, turning to face him. “Looks like you’re doing fine.”
“No thanks to you.”
“Oh, I went easy on you. Trust me, I’ve done far worse, Sweetheart” you chuckle before taking a drag from your cigarette.
“That’s not hard for me to believe at all.”
“Lookin’ for a pretty little thing to lick your wounds clean?”
“Looking for you to lick my wounds clean.”
You look him over before chuckling to yourself and shaking your head. “My best friend is inside and looking for something to lick. Go talk to her.”
“She’s not who caught my eye.”
“I’m your superior, Hansen.”
“Only for the month,” he smirks.
“Enjoy the rest of your night,” you scoff before throwing your cigarette down and stepping on it.
“You’re thinking about it.”
“Never gonna fuckin’ happen.”
“Why not?”
“Because why should it?”
“Cause we both want to,” he smirks.
‘Work comes first’ you mentally tell yourself. You look him over and chuckle before shaking your head. “Go away, Lloyd.”
“What? Like you said I love to fuck and you love to be fucked.”
“Eh, I said I love both,” you shrug.
“Lets leave right now, go a few rounds, and find out who’s better, Doll Face” he smirks.
“On that note,” you laugh as you decide it’s very much time for you to go “you enjoy the rest of your night. I’ll see you Monday.”
“I’ll get you underneath me soon enough.”
“Have fun jerking off to the thought of that,” you laugh as you make your way back inside.
“Trust me, I will.”
The minute you’re back by Taj’s side, you’re ordering a drink.
“I can’t tell if that means it went bad or not,” she chuckles.
“I mean, he was very upfront about what he wanted.”
“Yet, you’re standing here with me?”
“Work comes first, Taj. You know how I am.”
“Yeah, but he’s gorgeous, even with that stupid mustache.”
“You’re more than welcome to go indulge for the night, but I’ll sit this one out,” you laugh before taking a sip of your drink, swaying your hips to the music. “Besides, I didn’t come out to get laid. I came out to get blackout drunk and dance. I have two days to forget about everything else before I have to jump into the shit show again.”
“If you’re this miserable, why not just quit on Monday?”
“Cause I at least owe him this. No, he was by no means the best Father, but he really did the best he could, and it’s not like he’s the worst Father. It’s all just fucking complicated,” you sigh.
“Well, with the way...?”
“Lloyd.”
“Lloyd is looking at you, I’m not about to make an attempt and get my fucking feelings hurt,” she laughs. “If drinking and dancing is what you wanna do, that’s exactly what we’re gonna do,” she smiles.
So, for the rest of the night, you two run up a tab and dance until either of you can barely stand. You feel Lloyd’s eyes on you the entire time, and it awakens something inside of you.
Yes, you want to start looking for someone to settle down with and start on that chapter of your life, but you’d be lying if you said you don’t wanna take the arrogant asshole for a ride. No, you’d never end up with a man like Lloyd. After spending just a few minutes with him, it’s very obvious how different you both are. Just in looks alone, you can tell that he’s very specific about everything from the way his hair is styled, to his shoes matching his socks. Whereas, with the exception of work, you really don’t put much effort into your outfit. Hell, the only reason you bothered to get dressed up tonight was because you wanted to. You had a desire to pretend and that was all.
Not to mention, he was a pretentious asshole, a bit whiny, spoiled, and very much a psycho. There’s no chance of you and him ending up together. That being said, he does look like the kind of man who will give you a filthy, mind blowing, life changing fuck, and fuck all if that’s not what you need. But still.
Work comes first.
“You get home safe, Doll Face” Lloyd smirks at you as a car service for you and Taj.
“You too, Hansen,” you giggle with a slur as you stumble into the car. “See ya Monday.”
“Maybe sooner than you think,” he calls as you close the door.
“What the fuck does that mean?” Taj scoffs.
“Who the fuck knows?” you giggle.
When you both finally arrive back at your house, you’re both quick to take off your shoes.
“I need water and sleep,” Taj laughs as she stumbles into your kitchen.
“Are you sleeping in my room or are you taking the spare.”
“Dude, I might just sleep on the fucking couch. I’m fuckin’ beat,” she laughs as your work phone buzzes. “Why the fuck is work texting you at this hour?”
“Who the fuck knows,” you grumble as you fish your phone out of your purse. “That’s funny, it’s Lloyd,” you scoff before opening the message. “Holy fuck,” you gasp with a slight moan.
‘That arrogant son of a bitch,’ you think to yourself as you watch the video he sent you of himself jerking off.
“Once again, why are not underneath him?” Taj asks, unable to look away from the video herself.
“He’s a child.”
“Not by the looks of this video,” she laughs.
“Taj.”
“I’m just saying, a little fun never hurt anyone. As for where I’ll be sleeping, it definitely won’t be in the bed with you,” she chuckles before plopping down on the sofa.
When your phone buzzes again, you’re both nervous and desperate to answer it.
Lloyd Hansen: Just some food for thought.
Y/N: You can’t send texts like that to this phone, Lloyd.
Lloyd Hansen: Then give me the number to your personal phone.
Y/N: How much have you had tonight?
Lloyd Hansen: You know you want to.
Y/N: Go to bed, Hansen.
Lloyd Hansen: Come over here and get in it with me, Cupcake.
Y/N: Hansen.
Lloyd Hansen: You’ll cave. They always cave.
Y/N: Goodnight, Hansen
Lloyd Hansen: You enjoy yourself tonight. I know I will.
“A spoiled little brat,” you mutter as you throw your phone back into your purse.
“With a cock like that, he can be as spoiled as he wants,” Taj yawns as she turns on the TV.
“You go to sleep,” you laugh as you slowly start to make your way upstairs, walking not exactly your strong point at the moment.
“You two, babe. After you scratch that itch,” she teases.
“Oh fuck off,” you scoff as you make your way upstairs.
You’re ashamed at how quickly you pull out your vibrator as soon as you get in bed. It’s not like anyone needs to know that you’re gonna get off to that video multiple times, and you’re sure as shit not gonna tell him about it. Besides, if anything, you’re helping yourself not give in to what you want. You’ve been doing your job for basically your entire life, and besides few minor hiccups, you’ve never fucked up extremely bad.
As far as you’re concerned, fucking Lloyd Hansen would be a major fuck up.
After getting yourself off for the 4th time, you decide it’s time to call it a night, and that you’re done with any sexual ideas involving Lloyd Hansen. He’s just your last student and at the end of the month, you’re done with him and the current life you live.
When you wake up the next day, you’ve got a handful of texts on both your personal and private phone. You groan in frustration, opting to answer your go through your personal phone first.
Taj text you to let you know she got home safe and she’d text you later, they’re a few texts letting you know that your packages you ordered a week ago finally arrived, and your Father reminding you that you have dinner plans tonight.
Your work phone consists of texts containing information about your next job, the weapons and technology you’ll be using, texts from Lloyd.
Lloyd Hansen: Rise and shine, Doll Face. Hope you enjoyed your special video last night. Let me know when you want another, or when you want to make one together.
You groan in frustration as you roll over. Damn him for being able to read you like a book. Yeah, you can tell him to stop, but you don’t want him to. It’s been a while since you’ve fucked someone, and even longer since someone has been desperate to fuck you. Part of that is your fault though. After you last failed relationship, which turned out to be a setup anyway, you zeroed in on work. You decided that relationships can wait, but you only made that choice because you didn’t want to get burned again.
You were afraid.
Now, Lloyd is making it very clear how much he wants to satisfy you, and you want to give in so bad. You want to be rough handled, you want to be degraded, and you don’t want to be in control. God, you’re so fucking tired of being in control of everything all the time.You just want a release and you know Lloyd will give that you. Why? Because he loves being in control. You watched him contain himself every time you sent a bolt of electricity through his body, and in all honesty, it made you want him that much more. It made you want him because you knew that as soon as he got his hands on you, he’d tear you apart. He’d show you who was really in charge and that’s really all you want.
You want to be someone’s sex pet before you’re anyone’s wife. However: Lloyd is off limits.
By the time you’re at your Father’s house, your head is spinning.
“You’re not focused,” he mumbles as he stirs the sauce and you can tell he’s annoyed.
“I just have a lot on my mind,” you mumble before taking a sip of wine. “Besides, I’m not working, so why is it a big deal?”
“Because I’m trying to have a conversation with you.”
“No, you’re trying to talk me into staying, and I don’t wanna have that conversation.”
“Honey-”
“No Father, I don’t want to do this anymore. You didn’t give me a chance to figure out what I want! You just pushed this on to me and said it was the best fucking choice!”
“You’re good at what you do-”
“That doesn’t mean I want to do it!”
“Y/N, I’m just trying to keep you close so I can protect you.”
“Yeah? Like you protected Mom?” you bite.
“Watch it.”
“No.”
“Y/N-”
“You decided that she didn’t matter and with her out of the picture, it was easier for you to pull the strings and control me!”
“Jesus Y/N, I couldn’t have saved your Mother even if I had wanted to!”he finally snaps as he throws sauce spoon down. “You swear you know every fucking thing and that I’m some heartless monster, but you don’t know shit! I had no choice but to leave her there! It was either you or her, and I chose you! The look in your Mother’s eyes let me know that she wanted me to choose you! You were only 7! You think I was gonna let my only child get killed?!”
“It’s not like you even wanted me!”
“You’re right, I didn’t. I never fucking wanted kids, and now that you’ve lived this life long enough, you can see why! However, the day you were born...it changed everything. I wasn’t even gonna fucking show up, but your Mother was dead set on having you and I wasn’t about to be some fucking deadbeat. You were ultimately my mistake, and I wasn’t about to just bail on you or your Mother. When she had you...when I got to hold you...you didn’t cry, you just smiled and grabbed my finger. You were so fucking happy and how the fuck was I supposed to just walk away? How was I supposed to not give a fuck? You are the first and only thing I’ve done that’s been right, Y/N,” he sighs. “I’m not a fucking moron, Y/N. I know this isn’t the ideal life, I know that forcing you into this as a fucking child was fucked up, and I know it was unfair, but I fucking tried! You think I’m against you having a normal life because I don’t want that for you? I’m your Father! Of course I want that for you! But you’re not built for that! Plus, I can’t keep you close! I can’t keep you safe!”
“Father-”
“No Y/N, you’re the only thing in this life that I’ve ever given a fuck about. I’m not a warm man, I’m not a kind man, and I’m sure as shit not a good man. I kill people for a living and I’m so fucking good at it, that they released me from prison to help out the government when they need it. I know the man I am and the life I live, but you are my child and I love you. So yes, I do want to keep you as close to me as possible. I know I’m not the parent you would have chosen, but I’m the parent you have and I’m fucking doing my best. Whether you believe me or not, I’m doing my fucking best,” he mutters as he wipes away a few tears.
In this moment you feel so incredibly small.
“I can’t keep living this life, Father. I can’t keep living this lie.”
“It’s not like you want for anything!”
“I want simplicity! I want to be normal! Every fucking time I hangout with Taj, I fucking lie to her! Do you know how much I hate that!? Yeah, it’s great that financially stable, but there’s more to life than that! I want to get married, I want the house with the white picket fence, I want kids! I want a normal life! The only thing I’ve ever wanted is a normal life!”
“Honey-”
“I turn 26 in two weeks! I’ve given my life to this job! Yay, I’m fucking good at killing people, but I don’t want to be! You’ve had me kill parents, kids, fucking elderly people, government officials, and so on! Do you know how much I hate myself? How much I hate the fact that I hate that I’m so good at this?! Other kids were playing in the fucking park, meanwhile, I’m at fucking target practice! No child wants that! I wanted rules, restrictions, to be grounded! I wanted to be normal!” you yell, tears streaming down your face.
“I can’t change your mind, can I?”
“Have you ever been able to?” you question softly.
“You have to follow the same procedure as everyone else. If you haven’t filed your papers in the appropriate time frame-”
“I know, I have to do another month so all the paper work can go through,” you mutter.
Dinner is awkward and silent. Neither of you says a word to the other, not even about the mission, but you know you’ll feel bad if you just leave him there. You both get through and set up another dinner date for next Saturday.
By the time you get home, you’re a wreck and you just want to hide in a hole forever. You’re over everything, and you know that you really don’t have much fight left in you. One more fight with Father and you’ll cave.
Just like you always do.
You decide to let your depression win and order a large extra, extra cheese pizza from your favorite pizza spot, before deciding that your night will end with you drunk.
You’re on your third glass of wine and second box of tissues when the doorbell rings.
“You’re not the pizza guy,” you sniffle when you open the door and find Lloyd standing there with a folder full of papers.
“Are you okay?” he asks as you step aside to let him in.
“Fan-fucking-tastic,” you grumble, closing the door once he steps inside. “What are you doing here?”
“Your Father wants you to look over these files for Monday’s mission.”
“Why the fuck did he send you?”
“He said you wouldn’t take the files if he showed up with the paper work, and that it would be best for me go over them with you since we’ll be working together.”
“He’s not wrong,” you scoff, before finishing off your glass of wine and pouring yourself another glass. “Any specific instructions?”
“He said you’ll know how to handle it and he’s not worried.”
“How fucking kind,” you mutter as someone rings the doorbell. “Finally.”
You’re quick to grab the pizza and give a tip before making your way into the kitchen and grabbing a plate.
“You want a slice?” you ask Lloyd as you sloppily place two slices on your plate.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asks as he looks you over.
You can’t really blame him for wondering. You’re in your worn, extra large Oxford crewneck, short shorts, and your hair is in a messy bun, and you’ve got red eyes from crying so much. You’re half passed tipsy and about to indulge in food you shouldn’t, all for the sake of comfort and false stability.
“I’m fine, Lloyd. Just another fucking Saturday. Do you want a slice or not?”
“Sure,” he mutters as he takes a seat at your kitchen isle. “I take it now is not a good time for me to ask you how much you enjoyed that video.”
“You would be very correct, Hansen. Very correct,” you mutter as you put a slice on a plate for him before trading the papers for the plate. “Oh, for fucks sake,” you mutter as you look over the first page.
“Something wrong?”
“For me? Yes, something is very wrong. Jesus, I hate this fucking job.”
“What do we have to do?”
“Kill an innocent woman to get to her snake of a husband. He’s apparently taken some very important files from people he shouldn’t have and now, he’s in the fucking wind,” you sigh as you continue to go over the paperwork. “Of course there’s a fucking child involved. Well, at least she has cancer. From the looks of this, she doesn’t have much longer to live.”
“That’s good?”
“It’s very good,” you mumble before taking a bite of your pizza. “Me killing this woman will be doing her a kindness. Her kid doesn’t have much time left and we’re going to kill her husband. Us keeping her alive would only give her time to plan her own suicide.”
“Is that what you tell yourself every time?”
“Every job is different, Lloyd. Some are easier than others, just like some are harder than others. However, this is pretty black and white. They’ll all be together again before the end of the month, so just leaving her alive while her husband and daughter are dead...it’s better this way.”
“People get what they deserve-”
“They clearly don’t, because this woman has done nothing to deserve this.”
“I don’t know how the hell you’re so good at this job being as emotional as you are.”
“Because, Hansen, it’s all about drawing a fine line, which is one of your main problems.”
“It’s a heartless job and I’m a heartless man,” he shrugs, taking a bite of pizza.
“No Lloyd, the rule is to be heartless, but only when you have to be!” you snap, annoyed with his coldness. “Anything else is just bullshit and you know it.”
“Ya know, if you hate this job so much, you can always quit,” he sighs, rolling his eyes.
“End of the month. You’re my final student,” you smile before taking another bite of your pizza.
“Yet, you still won’t fuck me.”
“Until I sign on the dotted line, the job comes first. Always has and always will.”
“I can still be your good little boy if we fuck.”
“Yeah, something like that doesn’t sound accurate,” you scoff, reaching for your glass of wine. “You barely passed my assessment,” you chuckle as your personal phone rings. “Hello my love!”
“I wanna hangout tonight,” Taj whines and you laugh.
“I can’t hangout this weekend. I’ve got work shit to do,” you sigh, looking over more paperwork.
“I thought you had weekends off?”
“Sometimes. I can only throw my bratty weight around so much.”
“How was dinner with your Father?”
“Well, I came home and cried and am slowly downing a bottle of wine, while eating a large pizza with extra, extra cheese. Soooo yeah.”
“What did he do this time?”
“It’s not even on him this time. It’s me and my shit, and he rightfully put me in my place about some shit. I don’t know, I gotta sort my shit out. I’m honestly too old,” you chuckle humorlessly, watching Lloyd as he gets up and grabs his own wine glass and pours some for himself.
“That’s why you should come out tonight!” Taj practically sings into the phone.
“I can’t,” you laugh, looking over the weapons detail list.
“You’re so responsible now. You were so much for fun in college.”
“I was so much more fun in college. My rebellious years.”
“The boys.”
“The body shots.”
“The jello shots.”
“The late night adventures.”
“And now look at us, one whore and one responsible adult.”
“We did graduate with honors though.”
“Oh how we sparkled,” she sighs and you giggle. “I’ll let you get back to it, I guess.”
“Oh, don’t go sounding all depressed and making me feel bad.”
“Well, I am depressed and you should feel bad.”
“I promise to be more irresponsible after I quit.”
“Like...pregnancy scare irresponsible?”
“Well, lets not take it that far.”
“I love you,” she laughs.
“I love you and I’ll text you later,” you smile before hanging up. You look up from the paperwork in front of you to see Lloyd drinking from his glass while eyeing you mischievously. “Shut up and sit down, we’ve got work to do,” you snap.
For the next two hours, you and Lloyd strategize and come up with a plan. A majority of the time you were telling Lloyd that he was going off the deep end, and he said that you weren’t being harsh enough.
“How about this,” you sigh, opening up another bottle of wine “I’ll take care of the woman and you take care of her husband.”
“I can handle the woman.”
“I can already tell from this conversation that I’m gonna fail you, and then you really won’t like me.”
“Yeah, because you’re so cuddly and sweet now,” he scowls, taking the bottle out of your hand and pouring himself a glass.
“Asshole.”
“I can’t wait to be in yours, Doll Face,” he smirks as he pours you a glass.
You open your mouth to say something, but decide that being a smart ass isn’t currently in your best interest because of how badly you actually do wanna fuck him. You roll your eyes before getting up and making your way into your basement.
“You coming?” you call once you reach the bottom.
“Well, it’s not like you gave clear instruction,” he snaps, as you hear him quickly coming down the steps.
“Yeah well, you’re such a smart ass, I figured you’d put two and two together,” you mumble grabbing two brief cases. “These are yours for this mission. Depending on how you do will determine what you can use for the next one,” you state, handing them to him.
“What is it?”
“If you open them up, you’ll be able to find out.”
“Ya know that smart little mouth would look amazing wrapped around my cock.”
“Shame you’ll never get to experience it,” you state firmly, meeting his heated gaze.
“Ya know,” he starts, throwing the cases down, “I know just how bad you wanna fuck me.”
“What gives you that impression?”
“I saw the way you were dancing last night, especially after our little talk,” he practically growls, moving closer to you.
“I just like to play with fire,” you shrug, standing your ground.
“I could just take you right here and now-”
“Careful Sweetheart, you’re supposed to be working on that impulse control of yours, or lack thereof.”
“I think I’m doing pretty fucking good seeing as I didn’t bend you over and fuck you on that little desk of yours after the first time you zapped me.”
The look in his eyes tells you just how much he’s restraining himself, and it makes you all that much more excited. You love that he’s not getting his way and you can tell that he didn’t think he’d have to put in this much work. Not giving in is both heaven and hell for you.
“Sometimes, you just can’t get your way, Honey,” you smirk, taking a step closer to him.
“I don’t like not getting what I want, Doll Face,” he growls.
“Get used to it.”
You both stand there, breathing heavy, not breaking the gaze you both have on each other.
All he has to do is touch you and you’ll have an orgasm on the spot.
“Now, be a good little boy, finish your wine, take the weapons home, and prep yourself for Monday.”
“And if I don’t?”
“Punishments are something I’m very good at,” you promise darkly, and you can see his fists tighten out of the corner of your eye.
“I’ll let you get away with this shit for another week-”
“Let me? Oh Honey,” you chuckle “sooner or later, you’re gonna figure it out: you’re not running the show.”
Lloyd’s pupils are fully lust blown and you’re not sure how much longer you can keep up this act. All you want is for him to throw you down and show you who’s really in control.
But work comes first.
“I’ll see you on Monday,” he growls before picking up the cases and storming out.
You hear him stop upstairs and you can only imagine that he’s finishing the wine, before you hear his footsteps again and then your front door open and slam shut.
You let out a breath you weren’t aware that you’d been holding and scrap your plans for the rest of the night. Instead of coming up with a fight plan, you spend the rest of your night in bed, fucking yourself with a vibrator, moaning Lloyd’s name every time you got yourself off. Of course the thought of just going out and getting fucked crosses your mind, but something tells you that it won’t be anywhere near as satisfying as getting your back blown out by Lloyd.
Lust is truly an annoying thing.
When you wake up the next day, you tell yourself that all of your energy and concentration is gonna go to the mission. You don’t have time for hooking up or Lloyd and his bullshit. One wrong move and everything could go to shit.
However, you’d be lying if you said that you’ve never had better aim.
“You sound exhausted,” Taj says as you settle down on the sofa.
“I am. Being me is exhausting.”
“Yeah? Why is that?”
“Because I’m a fucking idiot, Taj. A big fucking idiot.”
“Uh oh,” she sighs into the phone “what happened?”
“I’m just fucking annoying. I get in my own fucking way all the time.”
“Lloyd, your dad, or work?”
“It’s all the same at this point. I have a fucking headache,” you groan.
“Babe, you’re a grown ass woman. If you wanna sleep with Lloyd, sleep with him. Hell, I wanna sleep with him. Yeah, work comes first and all your other bullshit rules, but you’re not even gonna be there after the end of the month. Have fun and everyone else can go suck a toe. As for your Father, I love you, but he’s a piece of shit. I don’t know what the fuck happened at dinner yesterday, but he can fuck off. Him making a few points doesn’t make up for a fucked childhood and adult life. He doesn’t get to throw his weight around now because he wants you to be nicer to him. Sorry, that’s not how this works. When it comes to your job, FUCK YOUR JOB, BRO!” she yells, causing you to burst out laughing. “You’ve been so miserable since you’ve been working there and it’s not fucking worth it. Especially with you about to quit. I love you to death, but you’ve gotta stop living to make your Father happy. Do what you want. .Who you want. It’s your life and you can only live for you, babe.”
“What would I do without you?”
“Be pretty fucking miserable, I assume,” she chuckles. “How’s your week looking?”
“Busy as fuck. I think I’m gonna have to travel.”
“I never knew waste management involved so much traveling.”
“Conventions and health shit,” you murmur, hating have to lie to her again. “We can do something when I get back.”
“I suppose so. Do you know how long you’ll be gone for this time?”
“No, and I hate that.”
“Why can’t your dad go?”
“He’s delegating.”
“He’s being a lazy piece of shit,” she scoffs and you laugh.
“I gotta go though. Early day tomorrow.”
“Alright babe, I love ya.”
“I love ya back,” you smile before hanging up.
As you fall asleep that night, Taj’s words roll around, and you start to toy around with the idea of breaking your rules.
Just once.
**
“I told you, I don’t know anything!” the woman sobs hysterically as you tighten the clamps around her waist.
You’ve always had a thing for Medieval torture.
“Oh Sweetie, I know that’s what you’re saying, but I’m afraid I know that’s a pile of shit,” you coo softly, gently wiping away her tears. “I know you wanna help your daughter and he’s the one bringing in the money. I understand, but the problem is: stealing is wrong. Your husband stole files from some very important people and they very much want them back. So,” you sigh as you turn the crank and tighten the clamps even more as she screams “we’re gonna have to keep this up until you decide that you do know where he is.”
You can feel Lloyd’s eyes on you intently, and you don’t even need to look at him to know that he’s getting off on all of this.
Sick fuck.
“H-he’s in Bangkok!” she cries out. “He’s been hiding there for two weeks!”
“See?! I knew you’d be able to help us!” you smile sweetly. “Now, where in Bangkok is he?”
Her silence has you shaking your head in disapproval.
“I thought we were past this part, Love,” you sigh as you turn the crank and tighten the clamps around her head, drawing blood.
“Please!”
“Where in Bangkok is he?” you question softly, as her phone starts to go off. “Well, speak of the devil! Now, you’re gonna answer him and talk to him like everything is normal. No talking in code, crying, or giving any signs that something’s wrong, cause I’ll know and it’ll really piss me off, and we don’t want that do we?”
“N-no,” the woman sobs out, trying to compose herself.
“That’s a good girl, Love,” you smile, before softly kissing her forehead. “Now answer him and put it on speaker,” you demand gently, before walking over to the table and sitting on it, legs crossed.
“Hey honey,” she says in the most normal voice she can muster.
“What’s wrong Elizabeth? Is everything okay?” the man asks, and the woman looks over to you.
All you do is nod and smile reassuringly.
“Everything is fine, Richard. Just getting back from a difficult hospital trip,” she lies confidently.
‘Good girl,’ you mouth with a warm smile.
“I’ll be able to come home soon, Honey. I’m flying to London tonight and I meet the buyer tomorrow. After that, I can come home and we can pay for that operation for Liza,” he promises and you can hear the hopefulness in his voice.
You mask it well, but this whole situation is breaking your heart. You hate this fucking job.
‘Ask him where he’ll be,’ you mouth crossing your arms.
“In case there’s an emergency, where do I call if I can’t reach you on your cell?”
“The London Elizabeth Hotel, I’ll send you the details soon. I have to go though, Lizzie. I love you.”
“I love you too, Richard,” she responds softly, doing her best not to cry before hanging up.
“You did amazing,” you praise softly.
“Just tell me whether Liza-”
“No one’s gonna do a thing to your daughter, I promise,” you tell her wholeheartedly. “Now, I’m gonna need that information he’s sending you.”
“Please-”
“Elizabeth, I like you, I really do. I feel for you and I know that you’re trying to be a good wife and Mother, but if you drag this out anymore, you’re just gonna make it harder on yourself,” you promise as you tighten the clamps around her head.
She practically drops the phone in your hand as she cries out in pain.
“Good girl,” you smile sweetly. You make your way over to the table and grab your pistol off the table and quickly screw on the silencer. You make your way back over to her and stroke face softly, ignoring the pain you feel over what you’re about to do. “I promise, no one will lay a hand on your daughter.” you tell her gently.
Before she has a chance to respond, you enter two bullets into her head.
“Clean all of this shit up,” you sigh, turning to your mercenaries. “Get it done fast and get her out of here. You and I need to get back to headquarters now,” you mutter, looking at Lloyd before grabbing your things and quickly heading out.
The car ride is silent and you can tell that Lloyd wants to ask why you’re so upset, but the stone look on your face has him second guessing that choice. By the time you’re back at headquarters, you don’t even knock before storming into your Father’s office.
“Y/N.”
“He’s flying to London tonight so he can meet the buyer tomorrow,” you scowl as you sit in one of the chairs in front of his desk.
He lets out a heavy sigh before meeting your angry gaze. “I know you’re angry with-”
“I’m not having this fucking talk with you, just tell me how you want us to approach this,” you snap bitterly.
“Y/N-”
“Do not,” you warn. “Tell us how you want to approach this.”
“You can’t-”
He’s cut off by you pulling out your gun and firing two shots into the ceiling. “That’s your final warning. Now, how do you want us to handle this?!”
He lets out a frustrated sigh because he knows he’s not gonna get much farther.
“Put a team together and you two go to London tonight. I want you staying at the same hotel as him, and I want eyes on him the whole time. No one does anything until he’s with the buyers. I want it done quickly, quietly, and neatly. You get in and you get out. Am I clear?”
“Crystal,” you mutter before getting up.
“The girl will be dead before the end of the month anyway!” your Father snaps and you lose the little bit of composure you have left.
“Is that what you told yourself about Mom when you forced me to leave her for dead?! She was sick anyway, so what’s the point?!” you yell.
Your Father’s gaze goes from you to Lloyd and you scoff.
“Don’t get all fuckin’ shy on me now! I didn’t even wanna have this talk, but as per usual, you need me to not think the worst of you!”
“Y/N-”
“There was no reason to send me in there of all fucking people! You could’ve done that fucking job yourself then sent me to London! You knew how I’d feel and you made me fucking do it anyway! You love to twist the knife then play innocent. You are such a piece of shit!”
“You know I don’t mean-”
“Oh SHUT UP! I don’t wanna hear anything you have to say! Just send me the information I need and I’ll see you when we get back,” you scowl before storming out, Lloyd at your heels.
“What do you-”
“Pack your shit, meet me at my house, and we’ll go to the plane from there,” you snap as you get into your car and slam the door shut.
You cry almost the entire drive home. You’re quick to pack your things, ignoring your phone as it continues to go off, in no mood to hear anything your Father has to say. You feel slightly bad for snapping at Lloyd, but at the same time, maybe he’ll be scared enough to back off for a while, because that’s what you need more than anything.
When you hear the knock on your door, you scowl before rushing downstairs.
“I’ll be ready in a minute,” you sigh as you let Lloyd in. “Have a seat on the sofa or something.”
You’re quick to go back upstairs to your room and resume your search for your Mother’s necklace. You never travel without it, and it’s been so damn long that don’t remember where you put it.
“For fucks sake!” you snap, pushing everything off your dresser and starting to cry, again.
You really don’t have time for a breakdown right now.
“Something wrong, Doll Face?” Lloyd asks, making his way into your bedroom.
“Nothing,” you mutter, wiping your eyes. “I’ve misplaced something and I’m annoyed about it. I never travel without it.”
“Well, what does it look like?”
“I can find it on my own.”
“It’ll go faster if we look together, and then your Father will stop calling me.”
“It’s a necklace. A silver chain with a silver heart locket on it,” you sniffle out, looking over the things you knocked over as you wipe your eyes.
“A silver heart locket necklace. Got it,” he says softly as he starts looking around your room.
You’re not exactly comfortable with him looking around your room, but you both do need to be leaving soon, and you’re probably not going to find it in your current state.
You both search in silence for a few minutes before he calls your name from your closet.
“Is this it?” he asks, holding up a silver chain with a heart locket on it.
You’re quick to grab it from him and put it on. “Thank you,” you all but whisper. “We can go.”
You quickly grab your bags off of the bed before both of you rush downstairs, Lloyd grabbing his bags as you two go, and you both get in your car and drive off in silence. It’s not like you mean to have an attitude with Lloyd, but you’re just over the mission and wanna be done with it.
You want to be done with the life you currently lead.
“Ya know, if it helps at all, I don’t like your Father either,” Lloyd shrugs and a small smile comes to your face.
“Most people don’t.”
“You shooting off your gun to silence him? The sexiest thing I’ve seen you do yet, Doll Face,” he smirks and you can’t stop yourself from laughing.
“Shut up, Hansen,” you smirk, feeling a bit better.
When you arrive at the pick up station, you ignore your Father almost completely, only acknowledging him when you snatched the files from his hand.
“Alright, listen up everyone!” you announce once the plane finally takes off. “Lloyd Hansen is in charge of this mission. Now-”
“What?” one of your mercenaries asks before thinking.
The glare you shoot him has him cowering in fear and you know it’s an accident he won’t make again.
“Now, he’s put a strategy together, it’s been given to each of you in the folders given to you upon boarding. Learn it. Memorize it. If you have any questions, he’s the one you ask. All the respect you show me, show him. If you don’t...well, you all know how good I am at punishments,” you smile sweetly before taking a seat. “Lloyd, if you have anything to say, the floor is yours.”
The look Lloyd gives you lets you know that you’ve given him a full on boner and just chuckle and shake your head.
Men.
As Lloyd gives his speech, you zone out and stare out the window. Fiddling with the locket, wishing that God would’ve left your Mother and taken your Father instead. You’re never able to make heads or tails of him, and that’s always been a huge issue for you. You know that when you leave the business, it’s only going to put more of a strain on the relationship you two have.
However, your thoughts have you feeling guilty, because you know that he does love you. He’s just an asshole who’s terrible with showing emotions. No, he wasn’t the type of Father that showed up to soccer games, or showed you how to ride a bike (you had a Nanny for things like that), but he was very protective over you. One day, you came home from school with a busted lip, because Ryan Baxter fancied himself a prankster. Your Father was understandably upset and wanted to know what happened. When he took you to the school the next day, he made you point the kid out, then proceeded to bust his lip and give him a black eye.
Poor Ryan was only 12, but he never bothered you again after that.
“Did you hear any of what I just said, Doll Face?” Lloyd questions lazily, taking a seat across from you, one chair over.
“Yes, I was listening. It helps that I record everything, so no worries, I’ll be able to go over everything repeatedly,” you smile sarcastically, forcing your gaze on him, still toying with your locket.
Lloyd looks you over and you roll your eyes.
“What?”
“I’m just trying to figure you out,” he scoffs.
“Well, I’ve known me for 25 years and still can’t figure that out. You have fun though,” you smirk, as you take the glass of red wine that’s been brought over to you.
“Anything for you, Mr. Hansen?” the stewardess asks sweetly.
“A few things, Sweetheart. I’ll take a glass of bourbon for now though,” he smiles coyly as the stewardess giggles before walking off.
“You work quick,” you chuckle before shaking your head and taking a sip of your drink.
“Jealous?”
“Of...? A spoiled little brat who’s desperate to stick his dick into anything? Or the fucking stewardess?”
“Oh, someone’s real jealous.”
“Lloyd, I’ve known you for all of 2 days and your file, while impressive, is 100% accurate. You have absolutely zero impulse control, no regard for authority at all, you are very much pig headed-”
“There’s a difference between confidence and pig headedness, Doll Face,” he corrects as the stewardess brings him his drink. “Thank you, Sweetheart,” he smiles as he looks her over. “I’ll have something for you later.”
The stewardess bites her bottom lip before looking to you, nodding, and quickly walking away. You just roll your eyes as you open up the file in front of you.
“You don’t like me, do you?” he questions with a devilish grin.
“I don’t have to like you, I just have to train you.”
“To be your good little pet.”
“To be the government’s good little pet.”
“You can teach me your favorite tricks,” he whispers in a seductive tone, and you hate the arousal that starts building between your legs. “How many times did you watch it?”
“Who says I did?”
“You gave yourself away in your basement, Doll Face. Deny it all you want, and hate me all you want, you wanna fuck me just as badly as I wanna fuck you.”
“I don’t reward employees for being winy little brats.”
“Then get me on my knees and make me work for your forgiveness.”
Somewhere, in the back of your mind, you know you’ll end up under Lloyd Hansen before you both get back to the states.
“You have work to do,” you mutter coolly.
“I’m looking right at,” he smirks.
“Um, Ms. Y/L/N, your Father is on the phone for you,” of your mercenaries tells you timidly.
“Tell him I’ll call him back,” you snap, not breaking eye contact with Lloyd.
“He says it’s urgent.”
You scowl before taking the phone. “Both of you, make yourselves busy and gone,” you demand.
Lloyd smirks knowing he has you right where he wants you, before grabbing his drink and some folders and making his way to another seat.
“What?” you hiss when you finally answer the phone.
“I want you to keep a close eye on, Hansen,” your Father sighs, and you can tell hes grown tired of your attitude.
“Not shit, Sherlock.”
“I mean it, Y/N. If you feel like he’s getting too out of control, step in and shut it down.”
“Don’t tell me how to do my job.”
“Y/N-”
“No, I don’t care if they’re giving you a hard job. This is my job. I always give you the best results, because I know what the fuck I’m doing. Don’t tell me to change it up now because the CIA is up your ass. I don’t work for them!”
“Technically, right now, we do.”
“They came to us for help, not the other way around. They don’t like my methods, they can go to someone else.”
Your Father sighs in defeat. “Y/N-”
“I’m over arguing with you today. Leave me alone to do my job my way.”
“Fine, one more thing.”
“What?”
“Do not sleep with him.”
“Excuse me?” you laugh incredulously.
“He’s got a reputation for a few things and I do not want him with you. He’s too out of control and a scumbag.”
“I can’t believe...whatever I choose to do with my time is my business. This is definitely not a talk we’ll be having ever again. Now, if you’re done trying to throw your weight around where it doesn’t fucking belong, I have to go,” you snap before harshly hanging up.
Whatever resolve you were hanging on to about not sleeping with Lloyd just went out the window.
You throw the phone down in the seat across from you, before getting up and making your way into the bathroom. The last thing you feel like doing is babysitting Lloyd and killing a bunch of people. You keep promising yourself that you’ll take a much needed vacation at the end of the month, but the thought of pushing that up seems more and more appealing by the second.
‘Just get through the mission,’ you tell yourself mentally.
For the rest of the flight, you listen to music, avoid Lloyd (who eventually does take that stewardess to the bathroom and does nothing to hide what it is they’re doing in there), go over the mission, and go through a bottle and a half of wine.
By the time the plane lands, you’re ready to settle under the covers and relieve your stress.
“When we get to the hotel, I want eyes and ears all over the damn place. If he takes a shit, I want know about it,” Lloyd warns, his voice low and dangerous.
‘Is there anything this man can do that won’t make your pussy wet as fuck?’ you chide yourself mentally.
“There’s more than enough time, so please believe that heads will roll if this shit isn’t done quickly and properly,” he promises ominously before making his way to the van.
By the time you arrive at the hotel, you’re in desperate need of some alone time.
“Ah yes, you, Mr. Hansen, and Mr. Fields will be in our suite on the top floor,” the concierge smiles at you as you check in.
“Who the hell is Mr. Fields?” you groan, now understanding the reason for your Father telling you not to sleep with Lloyd.
“Um, that would be me,” the IT guy says softly.
“Whatever, I’m tired and if I have one more argument, I’m gonna lose my shit,” you mutter. “Sorry for the confusion and thank you,” you smile softly at the concierge, before taking all the room keys and handing them out.
It makes sense that your Father had put everyone 2 to a room, and unfortunately, it makes sense that he put Lloyd in a room with you.
Lloyd is your pet until the end of the month after all.
However, a fucking heads up would’ve been nice.
“Do you need me for anything?” you ask Lloyd once all of you make it to the suite.
“No, Doll Face. You go...unwind,” he smirks towards you.
Fucking prick.
Nonetheless, you throw your things down on one of the beds, before grabbing a wine opener and one of the bottles of wine left out for all of you, and making your way into the bathroom.
It’s not like you have to work tonight.
As steam fills the bathroom, you open the bottle before slowly starting to undress, closing your eyes and letting yourself get lost in the feeling of being numb.
It’s not enough that you’re in a forever war with your Father about literally everything in life, hate your job, miss Mother, and have to lie to your best fucking friend in the world. Lloyd Hansen hasn’t even been in your life a full fucking week, and yet he’s somehow flipped your world on its head. All over lust. Are you really that desperate? Is he really that attractive? Are you craving a release that much?
As these questions and a million more run through your head, you take a sip from the bottle before stepping into the shower. Yes, you know that you need to be sharp for the mission, that’s not lost on you at all, but a little buzz has never hurt you in the past. You’ve been trained to always be ready for anything, and that’s not going to change now.
Even if all you want is for the world to swallow you whole.
You stand under the water and let it wash away all of the pain and sadness, anger and frustration, and secrets and all of the lies. You let yourself pretend that, just for a moment, you’re on a normal business trip. All the orders and demands you hear from the other side of the door? Well, lets just pretend those are coming from the floor below you.
You take your time lathering up, as well as washing off, your favorite soap; smiling when the scent of peonies fills your nostrils. Yes, in the shower, you can live in a land of make believe and happiness, but you know it can’t last forever.
As you turn off the water, you let out a heavy sigh being brought back so quickly to reality. This won’t be your last mission before your time in the business is up, and you’re more than sure your Father is going to put you up to even harder tasks just to prove a point.
You’re supposed to be a killer; nothing more and nothing less.
You wrap the insanely comfortable towel around your body before grabbing your personal phone; texting the only person in your life who ever makes any real sense.
Y/N: Lets go out when I get back.
Oxford Princess: You’ve left already? Well shit lol. And yeah, sure! Anywhere in particular? And it’s late as shit by the way.
Y/N: Yeah, sorry about that, just can’t sleep. I wanna go somewhere that’s loud and I can dance.
Oxford Princess: As much as I love you being a clubber girl, are you sure you’re good?
Y/N: No, but I’m over talking about it, and I’m way over thinking about it.
Oxford Princess: You’re almost out of there, babe.
Y/N: Yeah, but not quick enough.
You sigh as you close your eyes and walk out of the bathroom, tossing your phone down on the bed and letting your hair down.
“If you would’ve waited 5 more minutes, I would’ve joined you,” Lloyd growled, causing you to jump.
“Jesus! Don’t you fucking knock?!”
“I was hoping to catch a glimpse, Doll Face,” he smirks mischievously.
“What do you want?” you snap.
“Well, I was going to tell you that I want you to look over these plans, but now...,” he hums, looking you over and slowly making his way over to you. “I have to tell you, I’ve never needed to have my dick inside a cunt so fucking bad.”
“Where are the plans, Lloyd?” you all but whimper, backing up slowly.
“The sitting area,” he husks, pinning you against the wall, making sure you feel just how desperate he is for you.
“Then that’s where we need to be.”
“It can wait,” he mutters, slowly tracing the outline of the towel. “How many times did you watch it?”
“Four,” you confess with a silent moan.
“Fuck.”
“Get on your knees,” you demand, finally losing all will to fight. It catches him sightly off guard,and you smirk because you now have the upper hand. “I told you, I don’t reward my employees for being winy little brats. You wanna fuck me? Work for it. You can start by showing me just how sorry you are for being so fucking difficult. Get. On. Your. Knees,” you demand.
The growl that leaves his mouth almost has whining like the bitch in heat you are.
When he’s finally on his knees you pull the towel from around you and let it fall to the ground. “Apologize.”
“Jesus,” he groans before quickly burying his face between your legs.
“Fuck! There’s a good boy,” you moan, lulling your head back as you grip his hair.
Lloyd wastes no time showing you just how greedy he is. He’s quick to hook your right leg over his shoulder, moaning in response to you grinding your cunt against his face as he sucks and licks on your clit. The more swirls his tongue in circular motions on your clit, the tighter you grip his hair.
When he slide two fingers into your weeping cunt, you arch your back and hiss in pleasure. “Off to a very good start,” you mewl “knew you could be a good boy,” you praise.
His left hand slowly travels up your body, only stopping when it finds target and grabs your left tit, painfully kneading it between his fingers.
“Fuck, you’re doing so good! So close!” you cry out, your eyes clenching shut as you find yourself on the cusp of the most powerful orgasm you’ve ever had.
He grips your tit tighter and adds a third finger to your cunt before fucking you faster. You look down to see his heated gaze on you, and you can tell that he can’t wait to bend you over the bed and fuck you until you’re a mess.
“Mr. Hansen, you should-oh, I’ll-”
“What?” he growls, breaking away for only a brief second before putting his mouth back where it belongs.
“I uh...you need to...-”
“WHAT?!” you snap, not liking being distracted from what you truly want.
“There’s umm, there’s movement and we should head out soon,” the IT guy stammers.
“Hear that, Doll Face? You’ve gotta give me what I want right now,” Lloyd breathes out before resuming his assault on your clit.
Maybe it’s because you’re desperate for a release, maybe it’s because someone’s watching, or maybe it’s just because Lloyd is so fucking good at eating your pussy, but your mind numbing orgasm hits in just a matter of seconds and you scream his name.
Lloyd licks and sucks on your clit, fucking you through it with his fingers, only stopping when you’ve come down from your high. He kisses your cunt before turning his attention to the IT guy. “I want all teams on this, send them ahead, we’ll follow behind shortly. We are not losing this guy. Make everyone aware that, if they fuck this up, they won’t only have to worry about punishment from Miss Y/L/N,” he warns darkly, his jawline tight as he catches his breath.
“Y-yes sir,” the IT guys stammers before practically running out of the room.
You groan when Lloyd removes his fingers and he slowly licks his way up your body. When he’s finally on his feet again, you’re both desperate for more. He leans in close, dipping down and roughly bites down on your neck, before soothing the sting lightly with his tongue.
“I can’t wait to rip you apart,” he whispers hotly into your ear, before nipping on your ear lobe. “Get dressed,” he demands before storming out of your room.
Oh, you’re definitely fucking Lloyd Hansen before you both get back to the states.
You’re quick to get dressed, ignoring the childish side that wants to tell everyone to go on without you and Lloyd so you two can destroy the suite.
Work comes first.
“I don’t feel as if I need to say this,” you start once you walk out of the room, grabbing your pistol and your work bag, “but if a word gets out about what you saw, you won’t speak another word. Understood?”
“Y-yes, of course,” the IT guy nods.
“Great,” you smile sweetly, “lets go.”
Lloyd can’t keep his eyes off of you the entire time the three of you are in the elevator, and his jawline is tight. Yeah, you’re excited that he wants to break your back in most amazing way, but this is why you don’t fuck your “students”. Lloyd is unhinged as it is. Him going into a “session” already worked up...well, it doesn’t seem like the best idea in the world.
“What do we know?” Lloyd demands as the three of you get in the van.
“He’s getting paranoid,” one of the mercenaries says “he asked for a meet up tonight, so he can ask for an earlier flight. He wants to get home to his wife and child.”
“He’s in for a shock tonight,” Lloyd scoffs and you roll your eyes.
Yeah, you’ll never want to pursue an actual relationship with him.
“Alright, Y/N and myself will take care of capturing Richard. I want all teams focused on taking out the buyers, by any means necessary. I want all mics on, so we hear every fucking thing, and no one makes a move before the deal is made.” Lloyd states. “Make it neat, make it quick, get it done.”
Once the van pulls up to the building, the special teams units wait until Richard is inside, before they slowly surround the building and make their way inside. While Lloyd gives instructions into the microphone, you jot down notes. You make it a point to be fair, and for the most part it’s not that bad. Granted, he really hasn’t gone into action yet, but he’s been a good boy...to an extent.
However, you can’t put that part in your notes. Especially since you’ll be telling on yourself too.
It sounds as if the deal’s about to go through before Richard starts to get hesitant.
“What do you mean it’s gonna take a couple of weeks for the money to come through? I was told I’d get it same day!” he shouts.
“Oh fuck,” you mutter, quickly coming to the realization that your trip is about to be extended.
“There were some...complications,” the other man says, coolly. “Your money will-”
“No, I need that money! I was promised that money! There are other men who have offered more money!”
“Things happen, plans change,” the other guy says nonchalantly.
“Deal’s off!” Richard shouts.
“Fuck,” Lloyd mutters before talking into his earpiece “all teams go,” he sighs before looking at you. “Looks like we’ve got some extra damage control to care of, Doll Face,” he smirks at you, before sliding the van door open and you both quickly head out.
The special teams he put together are quick to take out the buyers, but Lloyd in all his chaotic beauty, is slow to take in Richard.
“Who the fuck are you people?!” Richard questions desperately as he’s forced into a metal chair by the mercenaries, before he’s bound to it.
“We’re the ones who are gonna make or break you, Sunshine,” Lloyd smiles darkly as your mercenaries grab the quivering man’s arms and pin them behind the chair. “We know you’ve got another buyer waiting for you, and it would be in your best interest to tell us who it is,” Lloyd smiles as he lays his tools out on the tables.
“There’s no one-”
“Now, I’m gonna give a chance to think about your statement before I do anything. Here’s the thing, Sunshine, I know someone’s interested in this information.”
“I’ve been lying to-”
“You sure you want to start our relationship off on a tale of bullshit, Sunshine?” Lloyd questions with a sadistic smile. “Honestly, it’s your call,” he shrugs, placing his jacket nicely on the back of the metal chair across from Richard. “You know, your wife and child-”
“Leave them out of this-”
“It’s not use making threats, because your wife is already out of the game. Now, your daughter, Liza-”
“Please don’t-”
“As long as you cooperate, you have noting to worry about,” Lloyd smiles sincerely. “Between you and I, I have no problem killing a child, but it does make it a little hard to sleep at night,” he sighs. “Which is why I know you’ll be more than happy to help me solve this mystery.”
“Italy,” Richard sobs.
“Well, that’s no fun, I didn’t get to try out my little torture trick,” Lloyd chuckles darkly. “Where in Italy?”
“I’m not sure,” Richard sobs pathetically.
“Looks like I will get to use it after all,” he smiles sadistically before flipping a switch.
You hadn’t noticed before, but looking down, you see four metal rods surrounding the chair the poor man is sitting in.
“Shit! Please! Please! I’m not sure where in-”
“Boring,” Lloyd sighs, turning the dial.
“It burns!”
“It’s only gonna get hotter until you tell me what I want to know. Richard, I’m gonna let you know something: I always get what I want. The longer you make me wait, the more annoyed I become. Now,” he sighs coolly, sitting back in the chair “where in Italy are these people?”
“Please-”
Lloyd just shakes his head and sighs “boring,” as he turns up the dial.
Yeah, you’re definitely gonna have to work on the cruel and unusual torture part a lot, but you’d be lying if you said you weren’t ready to fuck him right then and there.
It’s sad that it takes Lloyd Hansen for you to finally see the sexiness that comes with being unhinged.
“Venice! They’re in Venice!”
“Good boy, Richard,” he praises, turning down the dial only a little. “Now who are they and where are you meeting them?”
“Please, my daughter-”
“Will have a lot more than cancer to worry about if you don’t tell me what I want to know,” Lloyd growls, turning the dial up again.
“Please!”
“Where are you meeting them and who are they?” Lloyd demands, and you can tell he’s done being patient.
And that’s probably because he thought he’d balls deep in you by now.
“Caffé Florian!” the man sobs, and you’re almost ready to step in, but that would fuck up the assessment. “The Bernardi Brothers!”
“That’s a good boy. Now, I want you to text them and let them know the plans for tomorrow are still on. You’re going to lure them in and we will take it from there.”
“But my daughter-”
“Boring,” Lloyd growls, turning the dial up high.
“I’LL TELL THEM! I’LL TELL THEM!”
“Atta boy,” Lloyd smiles darkly, before flipping the switch off. “I’m proud of you, Richard,” he says sweetly, cupping the crying man’s face. “You’re doing really good. Now, piss me off or fuck me over...well, you don’t want to find out what happens when I’m angry. Get some rest,” he coos softly before turning to your mercenaries. “Clean all this shit up. Someone get me Frank on the phone.”
He storms out of the room and you let out a sigh of relief you weren’t aware you were holding on to. You really did think you were going to have to intervene.
You quickly follow him into the next room, quietly standing in the corner as you cross your arms over your chest, as Lloyd takes the phone from one of the mercenaries.
“Is it finished?” your Father asks as soon as he answers.
“The London part is. There’s another interested party in Venice,” Lloyd scowls.
“Is Y/N there?”
“Yeah, what’s up?” you respond softly.
“It’s your call.”
“No, it’s Lloyd’s call. This is his op. He’s in control until this is over.”
“You trust him?”
You look over at Lloyd who’s looking at you with a scowl and pure anger in his eyes. “Whether I trust him or not isn’t the issue here. This is his op. It all goes towards his assessment. Whatever lead he takes is the lead I’ll follow,” you shrug.
You don’t miss the extremely small glint of happiness in Lloyd’s eyes, though he’s quick to mask it.
“Y/N, this isn’t-”
“We’ve had this talk,” you harshly interrupt “I don’t give a fuck that CIA is up your ass. Honestly, it’s not my concern. I’m doing my job the way I’ve always done it, so you can either agree with me and have my back, or you can have someone else fix him. The choice is yours.”
Your Father sighs heavily “I’ll text you-”
“Lloyd”
“I’ll text Lloyd the information for where you all be staying until this is all sorted.”
“Sounds good to me,” Lloyd murmurs lowly.
The car ride back to the hotel is silent and tense, Richard whimpering in pain every time the van goes over a bump. Lloyd makes the mercenaries keep Richard with them, telling them to make him presentable for the meet up tomorrow, before sulking in the corner as the elevator doors close. By the time you, Lloyd, and the IT guy reach the suite, it’s painfully obvious that Lloyd has no intention of letting you get any work done.
“Take a walk around the city a few times,” Lloyd growls at the IT guy before slamming the door shut in his face. “Bedroom. Now,” he demands before starting walk to the room that you decided was yours.
“I have to finish writing up this report,” you almost whimper, embarrassingly desperate for him to break you apart in the most pleasurable way.
“You can write about what a bad little boy I’ve been later, bedroom.”
“Lloyd-”
“This is the last time I’m gonna ask you, Cupcake,” he growls, walking back over to you and gripping face tight. “Bedroom. Now.”
You’re quick to obey this time.
“Such a bossy little bitch until it’s time to fuck, huh?” he snarls, practically ripping your shirt off of you. “Fuck,” he husks as he looks you over “can’t wait to break in that perfect little cunt.”
“Lloyd-”
“What did you call me?”
The look in his lust blown pupils lets you know exactly what he wants. “Daddy.”
“Good girl,” he smiles darkly. “Take off those fucking pants and get on your hands and knees for me on the bed.”
“Daddy I-”
“Keep making me repeat myself and we’re gonna have a real fuckin’ problem on our hands, Cupcake,” he warns darkly as he takes his shirt off.
It’s disgusting how badly you want to test that theory.
“Fuck,” you mutter, biting your lip as you look over his expansive chest, that’s covered in tattoos.
Yeah, it’s gonna be hard for you to quit him.
You’re slow to take off your pants and panties, loving the way you hold his attention, before slowly crawling onto the bed and arching your back.
“Such a desperate little whore,” he growls as he takes off his belt. In one swift move, your face is against the mattress and he’s binding your hands behind your back. “I take it you’re not a complete dumb cock slut, so I’m going to assume you’re on some sort of birth control.”
“Yes Daddy.”
“Good girl, because I’m going to fill this cunt until I’m satisfied, do you understand me?”
“Yes!”
Lloyd roughly grips your hair and forces you upright, and you whimper in response. “Yes who?”
“Yes Daddy!”
“And don’t you fucking forget it,” he warns ominously before releasing you.
Before you can catch your breath, you hear him on his knees before you feel his tongue against your soaked folds. You cry out in pleasure mindlessly gripping at nothing as he uses his thumb to tease your clit.
“Daddy...please!” you cry out, clenching your eyes shut. All he does in response is slap your ass, hard, and your toes curl. “PLEASE!”
“Do you even know what you’re begging for?” he growls breathlessly, before returning to his assault on your cunt.
“I need...need to cum, Daddy please! I need to cum!”
As his strokes on your clit speed up, he starts fucking you faster with his tongue. There’s barely any time to brace yourself as you cum hard on his tongue, only falling apart even more at the growl that leaves his mouth while he’s cleaning up the mess hes made.
“I had no idea you’d be this fucking desperate,” he grunts when he’s finally back on his feet, undoing the zipper on his pants before stepping out of them. “Should’ve fucked you while I was interrogating that poor bastard. You would’ve loved that, wouldn’t you?” he chuckles with a grunt before thrusting himself inside of you.
“FUCK!” you scream, loving the way he painfully stretches you out.
“Little dumb cock slut,” he taunts “are you crying?” he laughs, fucking into you relentlessly, while one hands moves your hair out of your face.
“Feels...feels amazing,” you sob, still clawing at nothing, since your hands are bound.
“I’ll pretend I care and ask once,” he taunts “do you love being choked or slapped?”
“It all feels amazing,” you whimper, just trying to hold on for whatever he has has in store for you. “Just want you to dumb me down. I want you to control me, Daddy!” you cry out as you clench around him.
“God, I wish you could see just how pathetic you look right now. How pathetic and stupid you look,” he laughs darkly. “It’s all for me though, right? No one else has ever made you feel like this, right, Doll Face?”
“No! No one ever has!”
“There’s a good girl.”
“Please! Please let me cum!!”
“I shouldn’t fucking let you! Not with how much of a cunt you’ve been since day one!”
“I’m so sorry, Daddy! I’m so fucking...fuck!”
“Can’t even apologize correctly, but I should let you cum? That doesn’t sound right,” he chuckles, fucking you harder as he grips your hair. “To me, it doesn’t sound as if you’ve learned your lesson.”
“I can be such a good girl!”
“You can be such a good slut if it means you’ll get your way,” he huffs as his movements become erratic, his hand traveling down from your hair to your neck before he grips it tight.
“Daddy! Daddy...Daddy please!”
“Is my stupid little cock slut that desperate to cum?”
“YES!”
“Jesus, give it to me! Give it to me right now!” he demands
You scream his name as your orgasm washes over you, your legs almost giving out, as you sob in pleasure. You feel his arm around your waist as he shoots his load into you, and you practically collapse onto the bed.
“Oh, look at that,” Lloyd taunts, his breathing heavy “your Father still hasn’t sent any instructions,” he continues and you can hear the smile in his voice. “Guess I’ll just have to keep myself entertained.”
“God yes,” you mindlessly beg, as your nails faintly scratch against you wrists in a faint form of release.
Lloyd has you two more times before his phone finally goes off.
“Yeah?” he answers breathlessly, his cock still deep inside you. “The stewardess is more demanding than I thought she’d be....Y/N is more than likely asleep, Frank...I don’t know, you’d have to ask her...I don’t know, she’s been pretty upset since she killed the wife...once again, you’ll have to ask her...well, when I wake her, what do you want me to tell her?...Alright, I’ll...fuck,” he grunts as you start throwing your ass back against his hips.
Your way of letting him know that hes been on the phone long enough.
“Yeah no, nothing,” he grunts, gripping your hair tight as a warning, and you bite your bottom lip to suppress a moan. “Wheels up in an hour, I got it,” he grunts as you continue your movements. “Gotta go, someone’s a little needy,” he scoffs before hanging up. “Needy little whore,” he growls, slapping your ass hard. “Said you’d be a good girl!”
“Need you to fill me up again, Daddy,” you whimper pathetically.
“We gotta get ready to go, Doll Face,” he grunts as he pulls out of you, finally untying your hands “so, you’re gonna have to be a good little whore and cum one more time for Daddy,” he demands lowly as he harshly gets you on your back. “You can do that for me, right?” he taunts with a devilish smirk before thrusting himself inside of you.
“Fuck! Yes, Daddy!” you mewl, clawing at his chest.
“Jesus, Y/N!” he yells, his grip on you tight as he fucks you hard and fast. “You walk around in those tight little outfits, tits practically bursting out as you fucking torture people, and you made me wait to put you in your fucking place?”
“I’m so fucking sorry, Daddy,” you whimper as he dips down and starts biting on your neck. “Shit! You make me feel so fucking good!”
“I know I do,” he chuckles darkly before licking up your neck before biting down on your earlobe, hard.
“Daddy please! Can I...I’m so fucking close!” you mewl as you claw up his back. You know you’re digging deep and just maybe drawing bits of blood, but it only seems to turn him on more.
You’re definitely not what he expected.
“Fuck, you squeeze me so fucking good!,” he husks in your ear, as one of his hands travel between your legs. “Give it to me right fucking now!”
“Ahh fuck! LLOYD!” you cry out as squirting hard as your orgasm consumes you, causing you to fade out of reality for just a moment.
“JESUS CHRIST!” he exclaims, filling you to the brim with his cum as he collapses on top of you.
The both of you of you lay there, breathing heavy, and completely blissed out. As you try to come down from whatever cloud you’re on (cause you’re way past cloud 9), your mind can truly only focus on one thing; you’re fucked.
You’re nowhere near ready to give up Lloyd, and by the way he just fucked you for over an hour, he’s feeling the same way. You want to be angry with yourself, because you set rules for a reason, but for the first time in forever, you finally feel content. You’ve finally achieved the release you’ve been craving and that has you feeling like it was all worth it.
“I think we fucked up by not stopping after the last time,” you giggle and Lloyd chuckles.
“The way this cunt squeezes me? Couldn’t stop, Doll Face,” he breathes. “You okay?”
“Mhm.”
“Good,” he smirks down at you after he pushes himself up “cause I took it easy on you this time.”
“Well, now I’m disappointed in you.”
“Oh, I’ll make it up to you when we get back,” he smirks mischievously before dipping down and kissing you deeply.
Another one of your rules is broken, but you can’t stop and don’t want to. Yeah, Lloyd Hansen is an arrogant piece of shit, but you now you know why. He’s good at what he does. Everything he does. He’s arrogant because he’s confident, and as you two get lost in one another with this kiss, you realize just how hard it’s gonna be for you to stop.
“Lloyd, we have to go,” you giggle as he kisses down your body.
“One more taste, Doll Face,” he mumbles before he’s on his knees and in-between your legs.
Needless to say; you’re both late to get to the plane on time.
However, you slept better than you ever have on the flight.
By the time you land down in Venice, you’re more than ready to finish up the trip and call it a day. You all set up shop in the mansion your Father has set up for you all. You do your best to write up your assessment on Lloyd, but you can feel his eyes on you.
When you finally bother to meet his gaze, you can tell that he gives less than a fuck about whatever you’re writing up about him. Which is why you’re currently bent over the sink in one of the bathrooms.
“Daddy,” you whimper as he fucks into you relentlessly “we have a mission.”
“Shouldn’t have worn this skirt, Doll Face,” he pants as his grip tightens on you. “Jesus, I can’t wait to get you in my fucking bedroom!”
“Shut up!” you moan softly.
“That’s right, we can’t have anyone knowing.”
“My Father will kill you, Lloyd. You wanna die before you fuck my ass?”
“Jesus!”
“I didn’t fucking think so, so shut up!”
“So fucking bossy!” he growls before wrapping a hand around your neck and you whimper in delight “gonna fucking handcuff you to my headboard and fuck you stupid, like the mindless little cock slut you are!”
“Daddy!” you cry out, clenching around him.
“Now who needs to be fucking quiet?”
“Need your cum! I need it so bad, please!” you beg pathetically, as quietly as you can.
“I should make you wait,” he teases as he slaps your clit with his free hand. “God, you’re such a fuckin’ bitch! I should make you wait till we’re back in states!”
“Daddy! That’s so mean!”
“It’s what you fuckin’ deserve, you little slut.”
“I’ve made you feel so good, Daddy! You’ve filled my pussy so many times, haven’t you? I let you fuck me in all the ways you want, you should let me cum!” you plead.
“Not in all the ways I want, Doll Face.”
“How else can I please you? I’ll do whatever you want!�� you promise with a choked sob as his grip around your neck tightens.
“I can’t fucking get enough,” he growls into your ear before biting the shell of it hard. “You’ll make it up to me when we get back.”
“I promise!”
“Cum for me you little fucking whore! Cum for Daddy!”
“Lloyd!” you whimper as you find yourself getting lost in another mind shattering orgasm.
You’re not even aware that you’ve squirted all over the floor.
“When we get back,” he whispers hotly against your ear “that fucking perfect ass is mine.”
“You promise?”
“Keep it up and I’ll send everyone else out while we stay here and play around,” he warns and you giggle. “Now, get on your knees and clean off my cock. These pants were expensive and I don’t need your slut cum ruining them.”
“Daddy!”
“Do it, you filthy little slut.”
You quickly learn that, when it comes to impulse control, you have very little when it comes to sex with Lloyd. You and Lloyd spend an additional 30 minutes in the bathroom since he decides that he needs to teach you the difference between a clean up and a blowjob.
“Where are we at?” he asks, his tone menacing, when you two finally make your way back into the SIT room that’s been set up.
“They text me about 20 minutes ago asking me to leave earlier for the pickup,” Richard trembles.
“And you said?”
“It’s fine and I’m on my way.”
“Good boy,” Lloyd smiles at him before turning his attention to everyone else “lets move out!”
You’re quick to change into a pair of slim black pants and a black t-shirt, before packing your pistol and handgun into your bag and making your way out.
You do your best to ignore your throbbing, yet exhausted, pussy as you watch how closely Lloyd pays attention to every bit of information Despite his control issues, he’s very dedicated and committed to his work. That’s not the problem though. That’s never been the problem. The problem is that he loves what he does so much that he throws himself too much into it and looses himself. Lloyd Hansen isn’t a man that’s completely gone, he’s just a hard one to reel back in.
“I want these fuckers taken care of before lunch,” Lloyd tells everyone, pouring himself a glass of bourbon.
“What do you want us to do about the civilians?”
“Collateral damage if it gets out of hand,” he shrugs.
“Lloyd,” you warn, cutting your eyes at him.
“I’m in charge-”
“Until I think you’ve crossed a line. No one does shit until you think of a way to get everyone out safely. No mess, no scene, make it fast, keep it clean. We’ve gone over this,” you snap.
The van is quiet and you can tell everyone is afraid to say or do anything as you and Lloyd glare daggers at each other.
“Send Richard in then declare an emergency and tell everyone to evacuate. Take the bastards out then move out,” he demands, his angry glare never leaving you.
“But what about-” Richard starts.
“Do you really think now is a good time?” Lloyd asks coldly, shooting him a glare, and you feel your heart break.
Richard really believed that he would survive all of this and be able to get back to his daughter.
Poor fucking bastard.
Soon enough, everyone is filing out and all that’s left is you, Lloyd, and the techs.
“Come here,” Lloyd demands darkly.
“Lloyd-”
“Don’t make things worse for yourself when we get back, Cupcake,” he warns “now come here and sit on my lap. I want you to watch this with me.”
You know you shouldn’t, but can’t stop yourself as you slowly make your way over to him and sit on his lap. He pulls you close and grips your hair tight, and you bite your lip to suppress your moan.
“I should fuck you in front of everyone to show you who’s really in control,” he growls angrily into your ear.
“You have control in the bedroom, I have control on the field. I know you’re not stupid enough to forget that.”
“This is my op-”
“Until I feel like you’re taking it too far, Hansen,” you bite, grinding your ass against his very hard cock. “Don’t forget, Sweet Boy, I love to fuck just as much as I love to be fucked.”
“Jesus Y/N!”
“Now be a good and obedient little boy, or you won’t like what I have in store for you when we get back.”
“Y/N-”
“You think I won’t rip your pants off right now and fuck you in front of everyone? You think I won’t claim control in both the bedroom and the field?” you question, gripping his thighs as you continue to grind your ass against him.
“Doll Face,” Lloyd moans.
“There’s my good boy. Now, behave and pay attention to your mission. If I think you’ve done a good enough job, I might just let you fuck me on the flight back home,” you taunt as he groans, his hold on you getting tighter. “Now, can I resume my seat or do you need me to let you cum like the pathetic little shit you are?”
“Please,” he moans
“Please what? Finish your sentences, dumb boy.”
“Please let me cum!”
“I thought your pants were too expensive to get cum on?” you tease, picking up your pace.
“Fuck, I’m sorry, so fucking sorry!” he rasps as he buries his face into your back.
“So fucking pathetic, I shouldn’t let you cum at all. Not with how much of a spoiled little brat you’ve been. Wasn’t enough to let you control me in private, you had to try and throw your weight around when it comes to work?”
“I won’t do it again,” he whimpers.
“You fucking better not,” you moan, getting close to your own release. “Now be a good boy and cum for me so we can both get back to work.”
“Y/N!”
“What’s my fucking name?” you growl, fighting off your own release.
“Mommy!”
“Say it again, you ignorant little shit!”
“Fuck! Mommy!”
“Good boy, now fucking cum for me,” you demand as you lull your head back.
“Fuck!” he groans and his grip on you lets you know that he came hard.
“Sweet, sweet boy,” you moan as your relief washes over you.
It’s pathetic how sick the two of you are.
“Now, be a good little boy and watch the monitors. You’re supposed to be working,” you breathe out.
“Y/N,” Lloyd moans as he runs his hand though your hair, the tip of his nose grazing the side of your neck before he bites down on it.
“Lloyd, go do your job,” you warn, with a moan.
“Yes ma’am,” he husks.
You slowly get up and sit back down in your seat, while he readjusts himself.
“If anyone utters a word about what just happened, to anyone, I’ll fucking kill you myself. Understand?” Lloyd questions menacingly.
Everyone says ‘yes sir’ in unison and you can’t stop the smirk that comes to your face.
The hit goes off easy enough, Richard being the first to die, and they’re no civilian casualties. While you’re happy enough that everything went according to plan (for the most part), your heart still breaks for Liza. Yeah, she’ll be dead before the end of the month, but still. Both parents? Hell, you got left with the worst one, but at least you have one. You make a silent promise to yourself that you’ll stay by her side until the very end.
“I’m working, Sweet Boy,” you tell Lloyd as you feel his intense gaze upon you.
Since you both have gotten on the plane, you’ve held all of his attention, and you almost feel sorry for the poor stewardess who wants a repeat of last time.
“Then close your legs,” he practically whimpers.
“I thought I was doing a courtesy,” you snicker.
“Not when I can see it but can’t touch it.”
“Who said you can’t get on your knees and satisfy the both of us?”
“Oh? You don’t care anymore?”
“Everyone has it on high authority to not say a word about what we do, so I don’t know why you think I’ll be shy about anything.”
“Oh, I get it, you’re mad at me,” he smirks.
“I’m not mad about anything, Lloyd.”
“You’re not happy with me? Did I fail your little assessment?”
“You already knew you weren’t going to pass.”
“I wasn’t nice enough to Richard?”
“They had to peel bits of his skin off of the chair, Lloyd.”
“That’s more his fault than mine,” he shrugs “come over here and show me what I did wrong.”
“Lloyd.”
“Yes, Mommy?” he pouts.
“Fuck!”
“Sit on my lap so I can see what I did wrong.”
“No, because I actually have to get work done.”
“Who says I won’t let you?”
“My bare pussy.”
“I’ll stop the minute you tell me to.”
“Lloyd.”
“Be a good girl and sit on my lap, and I’ll be a good boy and listen to your criticism,” he smirks.
Once again, you find yourself doing what you shouldn’t and straddle Lloyd.
“Daddy,” you moan as his fingers tease your clit.
“No, you’re supposed to be telling me how I can improve,” he teases before biting down on your collar bone.
“You’re too mean, Daddy,” you moan “you’ve gotta gain control over your impulses, and watch the things you say.”
“Will that help me pass your little class?”
“It’s the only way you’ll pass, Daddy,” you gasp as he slides two fingers into your soaked cunt. “Gotta do better.”
“And what happens if I don’t?”
“The...fuck,” you whimper “the CIA isn’t gonna let you be their little whipping boy.”
“Maybe I wanna keep being your good little boy.”
“Lloyd,” you moan, lulling your head back as you cum on his fingers.
“You look so fucking pathetic,” he chuckles darkly. “I want to fill your pussy with my cock so fucking bad,” he groans, as you grind your wet cunt against his clothed cock.
“You said you’d be a good boy,” you whimper.
“You are so fucking sexy when you’re trying to hold on to control,” he chuckles.
“I swear to God, I’ll fuck you in front of everyone,” you growl, regaining some composure, as his hands travel up.
“Shut the fuck up and taste yourself on my fingers.”
“No,” you moan.
“No?”
“You need to remember who’s really in charge,” you snap.
“You’re the one grinding your bare and soaked cunt against my cock, Cupcake.”
“I can stop right now, if you wanna keep being a little shit.”
“Don’t you fucking dare,” he warns with a low growl.
“Then fucking behave,” you demand before slapping him hard across the face.
“You little bitch!”
“Keep it up and I’ll do it again.”
“No you won’t.”
You slap him again and his grip on your thighs tighten “I’m not afraid of a spoiled little shit, Lloyd,” you groan as you start to undo his pants. “I really think you just want me to fuck you. That’s why you’re being such a spoiled little fuck.”
“I’ve already had your perfect little cunt, and you all but promised me that ass-”
“I promised you my ass when you were being a good boy,” you correct as you take him out of his pants.
“Oh fuck!”
“Why should I do anything to make you happy now? You’re being such a little shit,” you moan as you adjust yourself, before sinking yourself down on him.
“Shit!”
“No one makes you feel as good as I do,” you moan as you ride him, “ so why should I reward you?”
“Cupcake!”
“In fact, I should make you fuck me in all the ways I love!”
“You should, Mommy!”
“Look at you,” you scoff as you pick up your pace “so fucking pathetic, it’s embarrassing,” you chuckle.
“Watch it, Cupcake,” he warns as he grips your throat.
“Tread lightly, Lloyd,” you warn as you pick up your pace “don’t want you to lose out on any of your privileges.”
“Such a fucking cunt!”
“Want me to get off of your cock right now?”
“Try it and you won’t be able to walk straight for a month!”
“Promise Daddy?”
“You dumb little cock slut!”
“Mi-Miss Y/L/N,” one of your mercenaries stammer.
“How may I help you?” you moan as Lloyd starts slowly kissing down your neck.
“Your Father...he’s on the phone and-”
“Is it important? I’m in the middle of a lesson,” you growl as Lloyd grips your waist painfully tight.
“He wants to know about the mission and-”
“Tell him I’m sleeping and I’ll call him back,” you whimper as Lloyd starts to take control.
“He says the CIA-”
“I don’t give a single fuck!” you cry out, cumming hard for Lloyd.
“Tell him she’ll call him back,” Lloyd demands menacingly, gripping your ass before standing up and you wrap your legs around him.
“Daddy!”
��I know, Doll Face,” he chuckles before kissing your collar bone. “So fucking needy.”
“Don’t act like you fucking aren’t,” you command as you grip his face. “I’ll make this the longest fucking flight of your life.”
“I wish you would,” he smirks as he makes his way to the bathroom.
The minute you two are in the bathroom, Lloyd pulls out, sets you down, forcefully turns you around so you’re facing the mirror, and thrusts himself inside of you.
“You know,” he husks as he thrusts into you hard and fast “this has got to be the best little snatch I’ve ever been in,” he praises.
“Of course it is,” you whimper, gripping the sink as you drop your head, trying to keep yourself upright.
“Arrogant, aren’t we?” he chuckles as he grips your neck tight, forcing your gaze on the mirror. “Want you to watch, Doll Face. Watch yourself come apart on my cock again,” he whispers against the the shell of your ear before licking it.
“Lloyd,” you whimper, clenching around him, desperate for a release.
You don’t know why you can’t get enough of him. He’s not someone you’d usually be attracted to, his personality alone makes you want to punch him in the dick. But there’s just something....something that makes you want him to use you as his own personal sex toy. Of course, that’s until he steps out of line.
“Give it to me, Doll Face!” he grunts as his thrusts become erratic.
“Fuck, fuck!” you cry, cumming hard for what feels like the millionth time.
How you two aren’t spent already has you completely at a loss for words.
Lloyd moans into your hair as he fills you up. “Best fucking pussy,” he breathes and you chuckle.
“You need to rest and I have work to do,” you sigh.
“I guess you’re right,” he sighs, kissing your neck a few times before pulling out with a groan.
You both get yourselves cleaned up and ready in silence, before Lloyd opens the door for you and you walk out. The look in everyone’s eyes has you ready to burst out laughing. You’re more than sure that your Father told them to report back to him if you and Lloyd do anything you shouldn’t be doing, but you also know they’re all deathly afraid of you, and probably Lloyd too, since they saw him give a man third degree burns and enjoy it way too much.
Yeah, your Father is scary, but he created a monster much worse than him, in some ways.
For the rest of the flight Lloyd sleeps on the seat across from you, and you fill out your evaluation form on him. No, fucking him a million times wasn’t in your best interest, especially since you still have to train him for the rest of the month, but you have a feeling that it helped. Lloyd is slightly more agreeable when he has something (or someone) to take his anger out on. You being just as fucked up as him in a sense, makes it a little easier for him take orders and not be as psychotic as he is.
Now, if only you could find something besides your body to get him to stay in line.
By the time the plane lands, you’re more than ready to get off of it. You’re barely sure what day it is.
“You don’t ignore my calls,” your Father barks the minute you step onto the tarmac.
“This can wait until tomorrow,” you mutter, walking right past him.
“Y/N-”
“I’ve been out of the country and away from my bed for what feels like 3 days. Maybe it has been, I don’t fucking know at this point. I don’t know what fucking time it is, but it’s dark outside, so I assume I’m supposed to be sleeping at some point, but I probably won’t because I’m gonna be all fucked up for a few days. Whatever you want to rake me over the coals about can wait until tomorrow!” you snap, finally bothering to meet his angry gaze.
His gaze is still angry, but he sighs in defeat. “I want you both in tomorrow at 7.”
“Of course, why would we get to sleep in?” you mumble.
“Fitzroy and Cahill are gonna be there tomorrow.”
“What the fuck for?”
“They wanna know how its going.”
“It hasn’t even been a full week!”
“Not my call.”
“Fucks sake,” you sigh, rubbing your temples. “Yeah fine, see you at 7,” you mutter as both you and Lloyd make your way over to your car.
“Why is he going with you?”
“Jesus, what are you? A cop?! I had him meet me at my house and I drove us both here. His car is at my place.”
“Y/N-”
“I’m too fucking tired to argue with you. I’m too tired, I’m tired of fighting with you in general, and I don’t feel like doing it. I’ll you tomorrow,” you mutter before getting into your car. You let out a deep sigh and look over at Lloyd, whose gaze on you is intense. “You ready to play around some more?”
It’s pathetic that you two aren’t sick of each other yet.
By the time you pull into your drive and get out of your car, Lloyd is all over you and you don’t want him to stop.
“Don’t think I can wait for us to get to my house, Doll Face,” he rasps against your lips as you two make out against your car.
“I don’t want to wait,” you whimper, undoing his pants.
“Something tells me that you’re a woman with handcuffs.”
“I’ve got all the toys, Daddy,” you smirk up at him.
The minute you get you two into the house, Lloyd picks you up and carries you to your bedroom.
“You may not be able to walk straight for a couple days,” he smirks down at you as he takes off his shirt, and you bite your lip to suppress a moan. “I’m sure you won’t mind it though.”
Lloyd isn’t gentle with you at all and, of course, that just makes you even more excited. Sure, you both need to be asleep, but primal need you two have for one another won’t let either of you stop.
Or think straight.
“Fuck! Daddy, you promised!” you whimper as he pushes the setting on vibrator higher, only causing you to pull tighter against your handcuffs.
“Oh, we’re getting there, Doll Face. There’s something I want you to do for me,” he smirks, watching your legs shake.
“How can I please you?”
“Fuck, you really are a little cock slut aren’t you?” he muses as strokes himself. “Wet Daddy’s cock with pretty little mouth of yours,” he demands, roughly gripping your face.
Your only response is to open your mouth wide for him.
“Who would’ve thought that a controlling little cunt like yourself, could be such a good girl?” he grunts as he starts fucking your mouth. You close your eyes and moan at his words, getting more and more worked by him face fucking you and the vibrator between your legs. “Tsk tsk tsk,” he taunts before pinching your nipple, only causing you more pleasure. “You know better, eyes on Daddy,” he demands.
You look up at him with blurry eyes, feeling your release build up. You ball your hands into fists as your toes curl, trying to hold off your release. You didn’t wait for him to tell you to cum the last time, which why you’re in the position you’re in now.
“Dumb little whore needs to cum, doesn’t she?” he taunts and all you can do is moan. “Learned your lesson this time?” When you let out another muffled moan, just a little bit louder, he laughs at you, and you hate that you’re not even the slightest bit embarrassed. “Cum for me, Doll Face.”
You cum hard, squirting all over your bed and Lloyd lets out a low and feral growl.
“Jesus, gotta get in that ass now,” he grunts, gripping your face and taking his cock out of your mouth. He’s quick to throw aside the vibrator, and you honestly don’t give a fuck if hes broken it or not. “Get on your fuckin knees,” he demands.
You obey as quickly as you can, your arms crossing as turn yourself over. You do your best to grip the bars on your head board, because you know this is going to finish you off.
“I’ve waited so patiently for this perfect little ass,” Lloyd growls as he opens up the bottle of lube, applying some to your asshole, before starting to stroke himself. “Such a wild little thing,” he grunts before slapping your ass hard.
“Fuck,” you hiss, throwing your head back in pleasure. “Daddy please!”
“Tell me how bad you want it, Doll Face,” he whispers harshly as he hovers over you.
“I’m fucking desperate for it,” you whimper like the bitch in heat that you are.
“Dumb little cock slut,” he chuckles before pushing himself inside the one place you’ve both been dying for him to fuck. “Jesus, Y/N!”
“Lloyd!” you cry out, your whole body writing in pleasure. “God yes!”
“Fuck, this ass is amazing,” he growls, gripping your hips tight, pumping into you hard from behind.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck!”
“Can’t get enough of you,” he grunts.
He dips down and starts to bite and suck on your shoulder, as your toes curl. You start whining as his tongue starts lightly tracing over your back, and you know you’re gonna cum soon.
“What do you need, baby?” Lloyd husks as you grip the bars tight.
“Need...need to...fuck, you feel so fucking good! I need to cum, please!”
“Make a mess for me, Doll Face,” he demands, before kissing your shoulder blade.
“Fuck, Lloyd!” you whimper as your relief washes over you.
“Fucking amazing, best little slut I’ve ever had,” he moans, and you can tell he’s close.
“Are you gonna fill my ass, Daddy?
“Not until I make you cum for me again,” he growls, picking up his pace.
“Lloyd,” you whimper, your toes curling yet again as he kisses up and down your back. “Never felt this good.”
“Yeah, baby? Best fuck you ever had?”
“Fuck Lloyd, yes! Fucking best ever!”
“Then show me,” he demands with a growl. “Show me how good it feels and cum for me one more time,” he groans as one of his hands travel down between your legs, teasing your swollen and overstimulated bud.
“Shit!”
“I know you can cum for me one more time, Doll Face! You’ve been so good for me!”
“I’m so fucking close!” you sob, throwing your head back in ecstasy, as he grips you tighter and holds you close to his chest.
“You’re so fucking perfect, Doll Face,” he groans, pressing his forehead to the back of your head. “Fucking gorgeous and the best little slut. You take everything so well! Now, be the good little girl and give Daddy what he wants,” he practically begs.
“GOD!” you scream as your orgasm washes over you so hard, your legs almost give out completely, and you fade out of reality.
“Shit, Y/N!” he grunts, spilling his seed into you as he tries to ride out both your highs.
The room is silent except for you and Lloyd’s labored breathing, and you try and think about everything you’ve done with him over the last few days.
How much you’ve broken your own rules.
“Shit,” he groans as he pulls out and you hiss in dissatisfaction at the emptiness you feel. “Fuck,” he chuckles, and you can tell you’re probably all marked up.
The minute he undoes the handcuffs, you collapse onto the bed, which is soaked (more your fault than Lloyd’s). You can already feel the soreness starting up, and you know that Lloyd was true to his word and you will be walking funny for the next few days.
“Anything I should have a heads up for, for tomorrow?” he asks as he gets dressed?
“No, we talked about everything already. You didn’t do great, but you didn’t do terrible. Just gotta find your ‘in the middle’,” you yawn, not even bothering to get under the covers. You look up at him, your eyes barely open, as your hair slightly falls in front of your face, and he smirks down at you.
“You okay?”
“Mhm.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Doll Face,” he whispers softly before dipping down to kiss your forehead, before walking out.
You don’t like the happiness you feel at the small gesture.
You look over at your alarm clock that reads 1:30am, and groan in frustration. So much for a decent night’s sleep. You’re quick to set your alarm and pull on one of your college crew necks that’s lying on the floor from the mess you made before you left for your mission, and slowly drift off to sleep.
As fade out of consciousness, you tell yourself that whatever you were feeling towards Lloyd is over and done with now. He’s claimed every part of your body that he can, repeatedly, and you want nothing else. You needed something to take the edge off, he gave it to you, and that was that. From here on out, he’s nothing more than your final job.
Oh, how you love to lie to yourself.
**
When your alarm goes off, you feel like you’ve only blinked. You lay in bed and wonder just how much you really care about making anyone happy, before reminding yourself that your work always comes first. You’re slow to shower and get ready, and there’s no real speed to get to work. Once you arrive at headquarters, you take a deep breath and lay your head against your steering wheel.
‘After this month, you’re done with all of it,’ you mentally tell yourself as try to build yourself up to go in there and keep up the facáde you always wear.
As you make your way into the building, you feel a a pair of eyes on you, and without even looking you know exactly who they belong to.
“Hansen,” you greet, as you continue walking, “is everyone here?”
“Waiting for you.”
“Well, it’s not like I’m late.”
“I think your Father was expecting you to be early.”
“Well, I had a bit of a late night,” you smirk as you both approach the meeting room.
“Might explain why you’re walking a little funny,” he teases, cocking an eyebrow.
“Might,” you giggle before opening the door. “Good morning everyone,” you sigh; your mood and tone changing instantly as you make your way into the room.
“You’re late,” your Father barks.
“No, you came in early and stupidly expected me to do the same. That falls on you, not me,” you smile sarcastically at him. “As for everyone else, hello,” you smile at Fitzroy, Cahill, Carmichael, and a woman you’ve never seen before. ‘Oh, someone new? She’s about to be annoying as shit,’ you think to yourself.
“Good Morning,” Ms. Cahill smile towards you “how’d the mission go?”
“As well as expected, slightly better,” you shrug with a sigh as you take your papers out of your folders. “Yeah, there’s a lot to work on, but they’re also a lot of strengths that need to be considered. You want the good or the bad first?”
“The bad, I guess,” Fitzroy sighs.
“His main issue is his cruel torture methods and his lack of regard for authority.”
“Give me a fucking break,” Lloyd mutters with a scoff.
“As he just demonstrated, he and authority don’t do well, unless he’s the one running the show. That being said,” you quickly amend “when left in control, he leads with a smart and stern fist. Though his methods are a little cruel, and sometimes heartless, they’re good. Really good. When he has a task, he’s dedicated and he’s laser focused. He’s extremely good at what he does, I just need to get him to tone it down a notch,” you shrug, sliding your files over to Cahill and Fitzroy.
“We want to see him in action on our own,” the young woman you’ve never met says. “We need to track down a man who stole some...documents from us.”
“And you are?”
“I’m Suzanne Brewer.”
“Well, Suzanne, he’s not ready yet. It hasn’t even been a week.”
“You just said-”
“Yeah, he did pretty good under supervision. He’s not ready to be on his own.”
“We want you on this mission with him,” Carmichael interjects and Lloyd shoots him a glare.
“I think the fuck not,” you scoff, leaning back in your chair. “Not me, not at all.”
“Y/N-”
“Did you tell them that I’d agree to this?” you snap at your Father, whose somehow sunk further into his chair.
“I said that you might be willing to depending on-”
“He fucking lied to you all, because I will not be working for the CIA ever again,” you laugh incredulously.
“You don’t want to help your government?” Fitzroy asks, his temper starting to show.
“You know damn well that I don’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because fuck the government and fuck you!” you exclaim, throwing your hands up in the air as both, Lloyd and Carmichael stifle a laugh. “The last time I helped out your little crew of minions, I got burned. I got burned, bad. I won’t be making that mistake ever again.”
“This is a chance to-” Suzanne starts.
“SHUT UP, SUZANNE!” you snap, deciding that you no longer need to keep your cool.
“Y/N-”
“It’s like you can’t stop yourself from being a piece of shit!” you snap at your Father. “How can you agree to something, for me, without even asking me?! With him?!” you practically scream, pointing at Fitzroy.
“I just thought-”
“No, no you fucking didn’t, so don’t say you did! Unless your next fucking statement is, ‘I just thought of myself’!”
“Now is not the time for one of your family squabbles,” Fitzroy sighs, and it takes all you have to not jump across the table and wring his neck.
“I’m sorry, the last time I “worked” for the CIA, wasn’t that whole thing supposed to be under your supervision? Training your precious Sierra Six? With the partner you appointed me?” you question hotly, and now Fitzroy is the one sinking into his chair. “I’m sorry, I can’t fucking hear you!”
“I’ve apologized for that-”
“Your apologies don’t mean shit! None of your apologies mean shit to me! Listen, I know that at the end of the fucking month, I’m out! However, until that time comes, I do my job the way I’ve always done it! No interference, no suggestions, no one in my fucking ear about what I should do, none of it! This is my job and it’s mine for a reason! If you don’t like the way I do things, find someone else! I’m not my Father! I’m not going to change my methods because it makes you all uncomfortable, so you can take what I have to offer or leave it!” you bite, meeting everyone’s gaze. “I’ll leave you all here to think about it,” you huff before standing up and storming out.
You faintly hear your Father call after you, but you don’t care to stop. You don’t care about anything. It’s bad enough that this is the second time that your Father has tried to stop you from doing it the best way you know how, in an attempt to save an outsider’s ego, but for Fitzroy to pull that shit and pretend that he doesn’t know why you’re acting the way you are?
Once upon a time, you were Fitzroy’s favorite. He thought you were funny and witty, he loved that you didn’t take shit from anyone, and he loved the fact that you always stood your ground; no matter what and against everyone.
Then a mission went very wrong and your heart got broken, bad. Yeah, he tried to apologize, and for the most part, you didn’t blame him. Still the damage was done and a rift formed.
“Are you okay?” Lloyd asks as he makes his way into your office as you wipe your eyes.
“Happy. So fucking happy,” you sob, trying to pull yourself together. “I guess they’re all afraid of me if they sent you in.”
“Basically.”
“What did they decide?”
“They won’t try to control the choices you make anymore...”
“But?”
“Suzanne’s going to stay until the end of the month.”
“Fitzroy?”
“How’d you know?”
“Because fuck him,” you mutter, swiveling in your chair and looking out at the view from your window. “I take it our next mission won’t be for the CIA?”
“No, we’re not moving past this that quickly,” he practically demands.
“I don’t want to talk about it right now,” you mutter, still gazing out the window and feeling slightly bad.
“What exactly am I in the middle of right now?”
“Everyone wants to control me right now, basically.”
“Y/N-”
“Once upon a time, my Father and I trusted Fitzroy, mind you, I only trusted him because my Father did. Nonetheless, Fitzroy and I became close. I talked to him about everything, because I could never talk to my Father about anything. Whatever he said was law and my Father hated that, because I never had the same faith and trust him that I did with Fitz. Anyway, long story short, the last time I worked with Fitzroy and the CIA, was the last time I was in a real relationship. I let my guard down for just a moment and it...it backfired,” you sigh, wiping your eyes. “I just took the guy as just my temporary partner. I didn’t expect to fall in love, nor did I want to, but I did. Then...”
“Then?”
“Then everything went to shit. I was engaged, my Father actually liked the guy...the only person who saw through all of his shit was Taj, which is why she’s the only person who I truly trust to this day. Anyway, things were going great until he slipped up. He brought up Sierra Six, Carl Gentry, at the most random time, and that’s what set everything in motion. What did him in was that he was the way he would question me about him, it was never like he was jealous but more like he was looking for information, and that gave him away completely. So, fast forward to everything hitting the fan, I was the one to take out my own fiancé out, 2 months before our wedding,” you smile weakly, swiveling around to meet Lloyd’s gaze. “Oh, don’t look at me like that.”
“I’m not looking at you like anything.”
“You’re looking at me like you need to take care of me.”
“I am not.”
“I’m a big girl, Lloyd. Whatever issues I have at this point, are my own. Anyway, Fitz felt like I blamed him and I don’t know, maybe I did. I didn’t think I was, but there was very much a change on my end. We started to drift apart, which made my Father happy, and it eventually led to an argument at my Father’s house. Voices were raised, feelings were hurt, and eventually a fist fight broke out that I had to break-up. Fitz said some nasty things to my Father about how my Mother is better off dead because she doesn’t have to deal with him, and I told him that we all needed to call it a night because enough’s been said and done. He took that as me taking my Father’s side and said Matthew was the lucky one in all of this because he doesn’t have to deal with me and my shitty family. I, in all my glory, snapped like the crazy piece of shit I am and my Father ended up having to shield Fitz from me and get him out of the house. Ever since then, he’s been nothing more to me than a pain in my ass,” you sigh, looking down at fingers; fiddling them to try and fight off the tears that you weren’t in the mood to cry,
“Your Father seems to be on better terms with him now,” Lloyd comments, and you can tell that he senses how much you want to change the subject of you and Fitz.
“Fitzroy works for the government, so he can offer my Father a lot of money. My Father likes making a lot of money. They made up pretty quickly.”
“You and Fitz?”
“I don’t hate the man, but I wouldn’t be upset if I never had to see him again,” you shrug.
“Well, I didn’t think you’d be be so open with me, honestly.”
“Well, you’ve fucked on a plane full of people and in every hole I own, so,” you shrug as Lloyd bursts out laughing “I figure why not do some trauma dumping?”
“You are a never ending mystery, did you know that?”
“I’ve been called worse,” you smirk at him.
“Your Father said this should make you happy.” Suzanne states awkwardly as she walks into your office, holding out a folder.
You look her over and quickly come to the conclusion that, if anyone’s gonna get in the way of fun you and Lloyd have, it’ll be her.
You take the file from her as she takes a seat, and smirk when you open it. “What a fucking prick.”
“What is it?”
“A mob boss wants revenge for his daughter getting her heart broken,” you chuckle as Lloyd snickers.
“What am I missing?” Suzanne asks.
“Just a sick joke between two sick idiots,” you chuckle.
Once again, you tell yourself that whatever happened between you and Lloyd is over. You needed the release and he wanted fun and that was all. So, when he texts you that night telling you that he wants you to come over, you resist the urge and tell him that you two have done enough damage.
That weekend, it’s hard to not give in to what you truly want, especially when he’s sending you videos and leaving breathy voicemails telling you how badly he needs to be inside of you again. It’s not that you don’t want to, God knows how feral you are for the man, but you don’t need or want a repeat of last times. Hell, you’re even pissed with yourself for opening up to him.
You don’t like the fact that it felt good to open up to and confide in someone else other than Taj. Opening up to and and confiding in someone that you shouldn’t care about, at all.
Of course, you’re not the only one feeling frustrated.
Lloyd does his best to mask the fact that he’s unhappy with things not going his way, but it shows in his performance. If it were just you seeing it, you’d talk to him about it, but Suzanne is Fitzroy’s little spy, which means you can’t take it easy on him.
“What isn’t clicking, Lloyd?” you sigh, walking over to your desk, before turning around and leaning against it.
The look in his eyes confirms what you already know: this is only making everything worse.
“Not sure what you mean, Cupcake,” he mutters, giving you bedroom eyes.
“Impulse, Lloyd,” you say lazily, before hitting the button on your clicker, zapping him. “You seemed like you were getting it, and now you’re just not.”
“Just a bad day,” he growls.
“I call bullshit,” you smile sarcastically, before hitting the clicker again.
“Y/N,” he growls, gripping the desk.
“Don’t forget, Sweetheart, I’m the one calling the shots. That being said, we’re gonna do a little review.”
“Review?”
“Let’s start from day 1, shall we?”
“Jesus Christ,” he groans before sliding down in his seat.
“Oh, He won’t save you now, Sweetheart.”
You’re not gonna lie and say that you didn’t love being in control all day, but you’re also very aware that you can only poke a bear so many times before it finally attacks.
Lloyd gives you three days.
“You can’t be here,” you moan as Lloyd hoists you up and forces your legs around his waist, after you open the door for him.
“Shut up,” he growls before kicking your front door shut.
“Lloyd-”
“I should choke the shit out of you for all the shit you’ve been pulling for the last few days,” he warns as he quickly walks the both of you to your kitchen table.
“You’re the one who refuses to do what you know you’re supposed to,” you bite as he starts sucking on your sweet spot. “Fuck! Lloyd-”
“Shut up!” he commands as he roughly places you on the table. “I’m sick of your lessons, so now it’s time for me to teach you some of mine.”
“Daddy, I-”
“What happens you’re a bad girl?”
“Daddy-”
“Not only a brat, but a dumb brat? Oh Cupcake, it may take all night, but I promise: Daddy is gonna fuck you into submission,” he smiles darkly.
Lloyd is rough with you in every way you love, in multiple parts of your house, and you don’t tap out at all. Once again, you’re desperate for someone to show that you don’t need to be in control all the time, and he’s desperate to be that person for you.
“We can’t keep fucking,” you breathe after you’ve both had time to come down from your highs; you laying your head on his chest.
“Why not?”
“Don’t be a fucking idiot, Lloyd.”
“Then don’t fucking act like one, Y/N,” he snaps back.
“Lloyd-”
“You’re an adult and so am I. Why does it matter what anyone thinks or says?”
“Cause we don’t lead normal lives and you know that.”
“We’re just having fun.”
“It doesn’t matter, they won’t see it that way. We have to stop.”
“I don’t want to.”
“Neither do I,” you sigh before pressing a small kiss to his chest “but we still have to.”
“It’s just sex!”
“They’ll see it as something more and you know it. If they think I’m giving you special treatment, for any reason, all of the work you’re doing goes out the window.”
“This is fucking stupid.”
“I’m not disagreeing with you.”
“It’s not like we aren’t careful.”
“We were careless as fuck the first few times,” you laugh softly and he chuckles.
“I think we did better this time-”
“Suzanne is watching us, Lloyd. You can’t afford to slip up, even in the slightest bit.”
“What about after I’m done?”
“Lets be honest, Lloyd. We both know you’ll pass out of spite. Fitz and everyone else is gonna keep a close eye for the next year or so. We have to stop.”
“Fine.”
“Don’t be a brat about it!”
“I’m not!”
“Lloyd-”
“You enjoy my company and I enjoy yours. You enjoy me fucking you and I love all the ways you fuck me. You’re 25 and I’m 26. We’re both consenting adults, so what’s the issue?”
“We’re killers,” you shrug simply as Lloyd lets out a frustrated sigh.
“It’s not like I’m aiming to be your boyfriend.”
“Don’t play dumb.”
“I should go,” he sighs, looking over at your alarm clock.
“I guess so.”
“Don’t do that.”
“Don’t do what?”
“Y/N-”
“Don’t do what, Lloyd?”
“It gets frustrating, not knowing what you want!”
“I just told you! But I can’t have what I want and neither can you. This is something stupid that we shouldn’t have started.”
“Why shouldn’t we have?” he questions; one of his hands traveling down between your legs.
“Lloyd,” you moan.
“Didn’t answer my question, baby,” he husks..
“Stop it,” you moan pathetically.
“No.”
“Lloyd-”
“Give me a good reason.”
“When you make me feel like this, it’s hard,” you whimper.
“Such a good girl,” he chuckles before kissing you deeply.
“We have to stop,” you breathe once you two break away, lulling your head back as he continues to tease your clit with his fingertips.
“We don’t want to.”
“Lloyd-”
“Fine, if tonight is our last night, I think we should make the most of it, don’t you?”
“We should, Daddy,” you moan, biting your bottom lip as he brings you off.
You let Lloyd fuck you like a rag doll two more times, before you decide it’s time for you two to call it a night. Once again, you force yourself to get over sexual desires for Lloyd and focus on the tasks at hand. The problem? Hes now become a drug you crave. Yeah, it’s just sex, but it’s the best fucking sex you’ve ever had. It doesn’t help that Lloyd is annoyingly handsome fully clothed, and the only thing that your mind goes to is the thought of him naked and treating you like a little whore.
When it comes to missions and watching him take control, you basically have to zone out, because he’s too fucking good at being terrifying and menacing; which is apparently a kink for you. Though, you are proud of the improvements hes made. Yeah, it’s probably for show so he can get the fuck out of there, but hes taken real strides to work on his methods of torture and holding back. You can always tell when he’s holding back on doing what he wants, because he clenches his fists and his jaw tightens; something else that makes you feral.
By the time it’s the week of your birthday, you’re ready to throw in the towel early become a recluse.
“Y/N!!!” Taj screams once you answer her call.
“Whatever you‘re thinking of saying, just know I’m working and I’m in the car with my associates.” you laugh.
“Goddammit, hi,” she scowls as you burst out laughing. “Stop working, it’s your fucking birthday!”
“It’s my fucking birthday, tomorrow,” you chuckle “and I’ll be off then.”
“What do you wanna do?”
“I won’t be working, so I honestly don’t care.”
“Good to know since I took the day off.”
“Taj!” you exclaim as you park the car.
“What? Your special day is a national holiday!”
“You are, as the kids say, annoying,” you chuckle as you screw the silencer on to your gun.
“Blah blah blah,” she mumbles “the world of waste management will survive without you for a bit. Do you have any idea of what you wanna do?”
“Taj, you know I didn’t think I’d make it this far and I’m just winging it, at this point. Whatever you come up with is fine, babe.”
“You wanna go skating?”
“Skating like rollerblading or skating like ice skating?”
“Rollerblading. Bitch, I’m too old to be on ice skates,” she laughs and you laugh along with her.
Though he does his best to hide it, you catch Lloyd chuckling from the corner of your eye.
“I wanna drink, Taj,” you giggle as you turn your car off.
“I know the perfect place!”
“No.”
“Oh, it’ll be so much fun!”
“Taji!”
“No time for you to be a little brat, you have work to do,” she practically sings as you roll your eyes. “Call me when you’re home?”
“Don’t I always?”
“I love you!”
“I love you, too,” you laugh before hanging up. When you look over to Lloyd, you scoff at the shit eating grin on his face. “What?”
“Your birthday is tomorrow?”
“So it would seem.”
“Ya know, you don’t have to answer her every time she calls.”
“Oh yes I do, if I don’t, she freaks the fuck out.”
“Why is that?”
“Another story for another time, Hansen,” you smirk before loading your gun. “Are we all ready?” you ask, looking from him to Suzanne.
“Lead the way,” she instructs.
As par for the course, you let Lloyd the mission, and you’re happy with what you see. You’re sure he’ll graduate in a couple of weeks, you’ll retire, and everything will be better.
Everything will be as it should.
“Suzanne is under the impression that something is going on between you and Lloyd,” your Father scowls as you take a seat in his office after returning from the mission.
“Suzanne needs to mind her own fucking business,” you mutter as you toss down your assessment from the mission.
“Y/N, I told you-”
“Nothing is going on, we just get along. You didn’t say I wasn’t allowed to get along with the man.”
“Don’t. You know what happened the last time-”
“You don’t need to remind me. I remember better than anyone else,” you snap harshly.
Your Father lets out a deep sigh before throwing down the file. “I’m tired of arguing with you, Y/N.”
“Then stop trying to fucking control me all the time.”
“I’m trying to protect you.”
“You can’t keep using that excuse!”
“It’s not an excuse!”
You’re ready to yell, but you stop yourself, knowing it won’t get you anywhere. “I’m done talking about it. Nothing’s going on, so just leave it at that. I’ll see you on Saturday night.”
“You’re not coming over at all tomorrow?”
“Taj beat you to it. We’ll just do something Saturday night,” you shrug.
“I love you.”
“I love you too, night,” you smile weakly before getting up and heading out.
You walk past Suzanne and glare at her.
Fucking snitch.
By the time you get home, you’re ready for bed, but the sight of Taj on your porch with different bottles of alcohol in her hands, has you cracking up and knowing you’re night is just getting started.
She has you dancing, laughing your ass off, and drunk in almost an hour and a half.
“So,” she giggles as you two sit down on your sofa “Lloyd.”
“What about him?”
“What’s going on there?”
“Why do you think there’s something going on?”
“Well, for starters, you gave him your personal number,” she smirks, nodding towards phone.
“Dammit,” you groan, looking over to see that hes text you twice. “We’re just fucking around. Well, we were. We stopped.”
“What?! Why?!” she exclaims with a pout and you laugh.
“It’s just not a good idea. If we get caught-”
“You’re almost out, Y/N. Why-”
“Almost out isn’t out, and if we get caught, it’s bad for him. He’s putting in the work, and I don’t want to be the reason he doesn’t succeed.”
“Oh, so you like him?” she giggles.
“I do not like him,” you scoff.
“Uh huh.”
“I don’t!”
“This is a safe space, babe. You don’t have to lie to me.”
“Oh, fuck off,” you mutter, grabbing your phone as she bursts out laughing.
American Psycho: Come over.
American Psycho: Daddy wants to give you a pearl necklace for your birthday.
Y/N: Lol I can’t and you know that.
American Psycho: I can come to you.
Y/N: We both agreed, Lloyd. Besides, I’m too drunk to fuck, Taj is over and the last thing I need to do is drive.
American Psycho: I can come over and give you both one.
Y/N: LMAO
American Psycho: Can’t say I didn’t try.
Y/N: Lol go away, Lloyd
American Psycho: Enjoy your night, Doll Face.
You roll your eyes and throw your phone down on the table.
“What does he want?” Taj asks she pours the both of you another drink.
“A threesome,” you laugh as she almost chokes on her spit.
“Yeah no, I’m not drunk enough for that.”
“Rude!”
“Who says I was talking about you? Why should I have to share you?”
“Taj!” you laugh incredulously as she starts cracking up at the shocked expression on your face.
“You did that to yourself,” she chuckles “does he wanna come over?”
“Of course he does, but I told him that we both agreed to stop.”
“Do you want to stop?”
“Fuck no, he’s best the fuck I’ve ever had,” you groan sinking back into the sofa.
“Just be careful.”
“Someone already voiced their concern,” you mutter, rolling your eyes.
“Ew!”
“Exactly, I can’t keep sneaking around because I love the sex.”
“And like him.”
“I don’t like him! Besides, Lloyd does not seem like the type of man who does relationships. He fucks.”
“Has he been fucking anyone else besides you?”
“More than likely, he doesn’t like to go a long time with his dick in his pants.”
“But you haven’t?”
“I haven’t had any time,” you scowl. “Besides, I do want a relationship. A real one that leads to marriage, children, and dying together at an old age.”
“Then why-”
“He’s just something to pass the time. I never had any intention of pursuing anything with him,” you sigh, finishing off your drink.
“Then why do you seem so bummed about it?”
“I’m just bummed with my life right now, but things will change. I just feel like a child. I’m turning 26 in an hour, but I’m not fucking someone because my Father said I can’t. What fucking sense does that make? Someone snitched, ugh, I’m getting myself worked up!” you grunt before sitting up. “I don’t wanna talk about this anymore. Let’s dance,” you smile at Taj.
“Babe, are you sure?”
“Yeah, I have every other day to be sad. I refuse to be sad on my birthday.”
“Guess it’s a good thing you have me,” she smirks, before getting up and turning up the music, loud.
As the night goes on, and you both get drunker, you can’t get Lloyd out of your head and you don’t know why. Ever since Taj asked if he’s fucking anyone else, your mind can’t stop wondering about it. Is he? And if he is, why do you care? You don’t. There’s nothing to care about.
It’s Lloyd.
Yeah, he’s come a long way since you first met him, but he’s still Lloyd. Taj stops the music, pulling you out of your thoughts, and starts singing ‘Happy Birthday’ loud and off-key.
“Please stop,” you laugh, stumbling a bit.
“I love you, you crazy bitch!” she hums, clumsily making her way over to you and wrapping you in a tight hug.
“Thank you for sticking by my side,” you whisper, wrapping her in a hug just as tight.
“Always and forever, babe. We got this,” she smiles at you before you two break apart. “Now lets get back to...oop! Your sex toy is calling,” she laughs.
“Oh God,” you laugh, doing your best to quickly grab your phone and a pack of cigarettes. “I’ll be taking this outside!”
“I bet you will,” she laughs, turning the music back on.
“Hello?” you laugh, closing the door behind you and taking out a cigarette.
“Are you having a house party without me?”
“It’s a party of two,” you giggle, lighting your cigarette. “How may I help you, Mr. Hansen?”
“Oh, I like that.”
“Lloyd,” you laugh.
“I just wanted to gift you the compliment of you being the best fuck I’ve ever had. Since you cut me off, I’ve trying out new candidates, and I’ve been disappointed every single time.”
“I thought you were a master hunter,” you scoff, feeling irritated for reasons you don’t understand.
“Oh? Is someone jealous?”
“You’ve clearly had enough to drink,” you laugh.
“We could just start back.”
“It’s not like I’ll be the only person you’ll be fucking.”
“You’ll be my top priority.”
“You’re annoying,” you laugh, taking a drag from your cigarette.
“Why? Am I the only guy you’re fucking?”
“It’s not like I have much time to go out and have fun.”
“Would my good little girl like me to stop until the playing field is even?”
“No, because we’re done.”
“Sure we are.”
“You need to sleep, you have training tomorrow.”
“Yeah, but it’s with Suzanne.”
“So?”
“Suzanne sucks,” he scowls and you start laughing.
“I want you to be on your best behavior for her, like you are for me.”
“Yeah, but you reward me when I’m a good boy.”
“Go to sleep, Lloyd,” you laugh, putting out your cigarette.
“Happy Birthday, Doll Face.”
“Thank you, Lloyd.”
“Night.”
“Good night,” you smile before hanging up.
You stand there for a moment, thinking over all of your feelings and emotions. The only reason that you’re annoyed that Lloyd’s fucking around is because he has free time and you don’t. Of course, he could use his free time to practice and train, but he won’t because he doesn’t need to.
Cocky fuck.
When you get back inside, Taj is dancing on top of the coffee table to the Spice Girls.
“So, what was that about?”
“Nothing,” you laugh as you pour yourself a shot.
“That was a long time to be outside to talk about nothing.”
“Taj.”
“Whatever you say, Buttercup,” she smirks at you before going back to dancing.
At some point, you two go upstairs and fall asleep. You don’t even remember falling asleep, but soon enough, you’re awoken by Taj bringing you breakfast from your favorite diner and a mimosa.
“I feel like we drank all the alcohol in the world last night,” you laugh as you sit up.
“Oh, that was nothing.”
“Taj!”
“You can recover tomorrow. Today, we party,” she grins mischievously.
You two spend the day watching your favorite movies, eating your favorite junk, and talking about all of the things that make you smile.
“We should start getting ready!” she squeals in delight when she checks the time.
“We’re just going skating,” you laugh, as you get up and make your way into the kitchen, grabbing two glasses and a bottle of whiskey.
“Oh, we’re getting you laid.”
“When did I agree to this?”
“When I decided it just now. Now, lets get you dressed and looking like a whore,” she giggles ominously.
“Oh God!”
“Oh yes!”
While she’s in the middle of doing your hair, your phone buzzes and a small stupid smile comes to your face.
American Psycho: You’re not allowed to leave me alone with Suzanne ever again.
Y/N: Lol were you a good little boy?
American Psycho: Yes Mommy.
Y/N: Knew you could do it.
American Psycho: Does your good little boy get a reward?
Y/N: Maybe, if I’m drunk enough later, you’ll get a video or two.
American Psycho: Now that’s just torture. I get to watch you play with that beautiful little pussy, but I can’t even put my mouth on it?
Y/N: Someone’s needy.
American Psycho: Only for you, Mommy.
Y/N: I’m gonna go now, be a good boy.
You don’t know how much longer you’re going to be able to abide by your own rules.
“Smiling pretty hard for someone who doesn’t have a crush,” Taj teases as she curls the last bit of your hair.
“It’s just sex. I don’t even know a thing about him.”
“You clearly know enough. Just because you don’t know his life story, doesn’t mean you don’t know enough to feel something for him other than a wet pussy.”
“No thank you. He’s still sleeping with other women anyway, so there’s clearly nothing on his end anyway.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Why do you want this so bad?”
“He makes you smile, he makes you laugh, he fucks like a God apparently, and you just seem a little lighter now. I don’t know, I haven’t seen you like this in a while and it just makes me happy,” she shrugs.
“He’s just a guy I’m training, babe. Nothing more and nothing less.”
“Whatever you say,” she sighs.
You two continue to drink and dance while you both get ready (Taj picking out your outfit to ensure that you get laid), and soon enough, you’re feeling pretty fucking good.
“Why the fuck did I think that drinking and rollerblading would be a good thing?” you laugh as you both hold each other up and try get around the rink.
“Cause you’re a fucking genius,” Taj giggles before looking up. “Well, well, well,” she smirks.
“Oh, you’ve gotta be shitting me,” you groan as you follow her gaze.
Lloyd is leaning against the wall, smirking at you, with his arms folded across his chest. He’s got on black dress pants, a tight black Henley shirt, and a leather jacket.
You’re ready to fuck him on the spot.
“I’d fuck him in public,” Taj muses as she does her best to smoothly maneuver you both over to where he’s standing with Denny.
“I did,” you groan and the gasp that leaves Taj’s mouth has you doubled over laughing.
“Stop! You’re gonna make us fall!” she laughs, trying to keep her balance.
“That was an issue before I started laughing,” you chuckle, also trying to stay upright while trying to catch your breath.
You both barely make it to the wall upright and arrive with a thud, both of you laughing incredibly hard.
“Hello boys,” Taj breathes out, only making you laugh harder. “Have a drink with us?”
“Looks like you’ve both had enough for the whole place,” Lloyd chuckles, his gaze on you soft.
“This is nothing,” you giggle, finally regaining your composure. “Hi Denny,” you smile at Carmichael, who is watching both you and Taj with pure amusement in his eyes.
“Y/N,” he nods towards you.
“Taj, this is Denny Carmichael and Lloyd Hansen,” you say politely, trying to remember your manners.
“Nice to meet the both of you,” she smiles at them, but her eyes subtly look over Denny.
And she’s gone.
“What brings you out tonight?” you question Lloyd.
“Felt like skating,” he smirks.
“Cause you seem like a guy who’s big on skating.”
“Like you wouldn’t believe,” he agrees with a seductive and low tone.
“Denny, grab a drink with me,” Taj smirks, letting go of you and giving you a wink.
“I’d love to,” he chuckles as she takes his arm.
“Lloyd,” you start once they’re out of ear shot “what are you doing here?”
“You know why I’m here,” he growls “and judging by your outfit, you have intentions of going home with someone other than Taj.”
“Jealous?”
“Lets just say,” he husks moving in closer to you “I don’t like sharing my toys.”
“Lloyd-”
“Come home with me tonight,” he almost begs. “You and I both know you won’t regret it.” You look over at Taj and see that she’s having a very good time with Denny. “She’ll be fine with him. What do you say?”
You look up at him through your thick lashes and bite your bottom lip.
Fuck.
“Lloyd!” you whimper, arching your back as your hands run through his hair. “Fuck, you eat this pussy so fucking good, Daddy!”
The entire drive to his place, you blow him and ignore all of the voices in your head that are telling you it’s a bad idea. The minute you stepped foot in his house, his hands were all over you, ripping off your clothes before sitting you on the counter and fingering you. After he brought you off twice, he carried you upstairs, threw you on his bed, and he’s been a menace ever since.
“You like the way Daddy eats your pussy, baby?” Lloyd husks as he looks up at you, sliding two fingers into your soaked cunt and fucking you intensely.
“Mhm, you’re so fucking good to me! Fuck, that’s it!”
“My good little girl wants to cum?”
“Please! God, please and then fuck me! Need you to fuck me!”
“You’re so fucking pathetic,” he chuckles darkly. “But fuck, you look amazing all blissed out.”
“Lloyd please! I need it!”
“Alright baby, cum for me, then Daddy’s gonna give you that pearl necklace you want so bad, Honey,” he smirks before kissing the inside of your thigh.
“Fuck!” you cry out, as you feel yourself come undone for him for what feels like the millionth time.
“The best little slut,” he growls before kissing his way up your body. “Do you know how long I’ve wanted you naked and fucked out on my bed?”
“Lloyd,” you moan as he softly licks the side of your neck.
“You’re the most amazing fuck, and you expect us to just stop? You expect me to give you up?” he questions hotly against your ear as he thrusts himself inside of you.
“Never want you to!” you cry out, digging your nails into his shoulder. “Never want you to get tired of me, baby,” you confess, too drunk and blissed out to mask your emotions from either of you.
“You don’t have to worry about that,” he chuckles before sitting up, gripping your hips, and thrusting into you hard and fast.
“Fuck!”
“I’ve been gentle with you tonight and I fucking shouldn’t be,” he grunts, lust filling his heated gaze on you, as he watches you writhe beneath him; your hands clawing at him because you’re so desperate to feel him. “spoiled little shit!”
“ ‘m so sorry, Daddy! I won’t do it again! I promise!”
“Yeah, you’re gonna stop denying me your perfect little body? Gonna stop denying me you?”
“Shit!” you moan, meeting his heated gaze.
“Didn’t answer my fucking question, Doll Face!”
“Lloyd, you can have anything you want from me,” you cry out, the knot in your core starting to tighten in the most pleasurable way.
“Jesus babygirl!” Lloyd groans, his grip on your waist becoming painfully tight.
“Baby please!”
“Give it to me, Doll Face,” he encourages with a grunt.
“FUCK!” you scream out, squirting on his cock hard.
“You’re a fucking dream,” he grunts, pulling out of you, forcing your legs together before straddling you and working his way up your body, as he starts jerking himself off. “You want Daddy to give you that necklace, Honey?”
“Please!” you mindlessly and pathetically beg as you grip his thighs.
“Jesus!” he yells, painting your chest with his cum as you moan in delight.
Lloyd takes his time covering your chest with his seed before smirking and watching as you desperately scoop up every bit; and you can tell by the look on his face that he’s pleased with the sounds that leave your mouth.
“Happy Birthday, Doll Face,” he smirks before dipping down and kissing your forehead.
“Thank you, Daddy,” you giggle up at him when he sits up.
“What the fuck am I gonna do with you?”
“Fuck me,” you plead with a pout.
“Give me a minute,” he laughs before getting off of you. “You want anything from downstairs?”
“A drink,” you shrug, sitting up and looking around his room.
It feels very...him.
“You don’t think you’ve had enough?”
“It’s my birthday, Lloyd. I can do whatever I want,” you nod and he just laughs. “In fact, get yourself a glass too. We’re drinking and fucking,” you smirk and he bursts out laughing.
“Are you always full of surprises?”
“I try to be,” you smile before pulling your knees to your chest and laying your head on them.
Lloyd looks as if he’s about to say something, but stops himself before shaking his head, smiling and walking out. Left alone with your drunken thoughts, you try to figure out just what the fuck it is you’re doing. Why can’t you just turn it off? Why is your attraction to him so strong? Is he even as attracted to you as you are to him?
What the fuck are you doing?
When Lloyd walks back in, you bite your bottom lip to suppress a moan and he smirks at you.
“Like what you see?”
“Mhm,” you moan.
“You are definitely not what I expected,” he chuckles as he places the glasses down and pours you both a glass of bourbon.
“And what were you expecting?”
“To break you in.”
“Happy or disappointed?”
“Oh, I’m very happy, Doll Face,” he smirks before kissing your forehead. “This is for you, by the way. Happy Birthday,” he shrugs, placing a small box next to your glass before taking a seat at his desk and crossing one leg over the other.
“You didn’t have to get me anything, Lloyd.”
“I saw it and thought of you. No big deal,” he mumbles before taking a sip of his drink.
You remain silent but cock an eyebrow before untying the black velvet lace around the white box. You’re expecting some sort of sex toy, but a silent gasp leaves you when you see what’s inside.
“Lloyd-”
“Do you like it?”
“It’s gorgeous,” you marvel as you hold up the diamond bracelet that has a heart pendant at the center of it.
“To go with that necklace you love so much. You can wear it as a set, if you want.”
“Lloyd, you didn’t have to spend this much on me. You didn’t have to spend anything on me.”
“Not a big deal, Doll Face. I saw it, thought you’d like it, so I got it.”
“Thank you,” you smile at him before getting up and making your way over to him, sitting in his lap once he puts his leg down. “How can I show you just how thankful I am?”
“Keep letting me cum wherever I want,” he smirks and you burst out laughing.
“You can do whatever you want to me, Daddy,” you smirk before kissing him deeply.
His arms wrap around your waist and he pulls you close to him. It feels like heaven, and you hate that you don’t want to give it up. Give him up.
“Whatever I want?” he breathes once you two break apart.
“Mhm.”
“You’re done with telling me no?”
“Well, I’m clearly not very good at it,” you mutter as he chuckles.
“We’ll be careful, Doll Face.”
“Suzanne already told my Father that she thinks something’s going on.”
“Fuck!”
“Hell, she could’ve been at the roller rink tonight, just like you.”
“She can’t prove that we did anything even if she was.”
“Whether she can or can’t, we’re clearly hellbent on fucking each other, so we have to be smarter about how we go about it.”
“Do you want to stop?”
“Lloyd, it’s almost 12am and I’m in your bedroom, on your lap, and my pussy is soaked. Does it seem like I want to stop?”
“I’ll be a good boy at work,” he promises as he slides a hand between your legs and starts to tease your clit.
“No more fucking in front of everyone,” you moan as you lean your forehead against his.
“I’ll only fuck you in private,” he smirks and you giggle with a whimper.
“And no more lingering gazes.”
“Then don’t look so fucking sexy when you come to work.”
“There’s nothing sexy about me when I’m at work.”
“Doll Face, you’re joking, right? The shirts? The skirts?”
“They all come from the half off rack at Burlington,” you laugh.
“Yeah, but this body doesn’t,” he groans before sliding two fingers into your intimate folds. “You are so fucking perfect, Y/N. It drives me crazy.”
“Yeah Daddy? I’m the perfect little whore?”
“Perfect and I swear you were made just for me!”
“Fuck!” you cry out, coming undone all over his fingers. “If we’re gonna keep this up, we’re both gonna have to do better.”
“I promise, Doll Face,” he breathes out before kissing your cheek. “You should stay over tonight.”
“Lloyd.”
“I wanna finish tonight with my cock in your ass, and start my day with my face between your legs.”
“I shouldn’t,” you moan, feeling his tongue run along the base of your neck.
“Daddy doesn’t like that answer, Cupcake,” he growls before forcing your legs open and slapping your pussy.
“Shit!”
“Tell Daddy what he wants to hear or I’ll punish you all night.”
“It’s not-”
“Not what I want to hear,” he taunts, slapping your pussy again.
“Lloyd!”
“Are you gonna stay?”
“Mmm, Daddy!”
“Oh, you want me to keep slapping your cunt? You’re getting off on it?”
“Feels so fucking good!”
“Are you gonna stay?”
“I’ll do whatever you want! Just please!”
“Such a good girl,” he chuckles before slapping your pussy again.
You and Lloyd stay up all night, fucking, drinking, and talking. He makes good on his word and finishes off in your ass. Since you soaked his bed, he changes the sheets while you go in the bathroom and clean yourself off.
“Pretty sure I’m gonna have to get a new mattress soon if we keep at it like this,” he teases once you get back in his bed.
“You’re the one who decided to keep your vibrator ring on my clit while you fucked me in the ass,” you yawn.
“I just love destroying you,” he laughs as you smirk and shake your head. “You okay?”
“I’m perfect.”
“Yes you are,” he agrees before kissing your shoulder. “Good night, Doll Face.”
“Lloyd?”
“Hm?”
“This is all just sex, right?”
He’s hesitant before he says, “of course.”
You don’t believe him, but shrug it off anyway. Too tired to press the matter, you just curl up under the covers and sigh, “Goodnight, Lloyd,” you sigh before drifting off into dream land.
Once again, keeping his word, you’re awoken with Lloyd’s tongue fucking you, while his thumb teases your clit.
“You’re gonna make me never want to leave,” you moan as you grip his hair. You feel his smirk and you grind your cunt against his face.
Jackass.
“Daddy...daddy, I’m so close, holy shit!” you squeal, arching your back as your toes curl. When he changes up, licking and sucking on your clit before sliding three fingers into your dripping cunt, your free hand grips his pillow as a wave of release washes over you. “LLOYD!” you scream as he continues to fuck you through your high.
You hate how much you never tire of him. How much neither of you tire of each other.
He takes his time kissing up your body, letting you know (in his own way) how much he appreciates it, before finally kissing you deeply. “I want to keep you handcuffed to my bed all day,” he husks once you two break apart.
“Mommy has things to do today,” you reply with a pout.
“You can’t talk like that expect me to want to let you go.”
“Be a good boy. I’ll take care of you and that greedy cock in a few days.”
“A few days?”
“It’s not like you’re not going to drown yourself in someone else’s pussy.”
“But I want to drown in yours, Mommy,” he whispers as his hand slides between your legs, teasing your clit.
“Lloyd,” you warn with a moan.
“Just one time? Please?”
“You know Mommy doesn’t like it when you’re being a spoiled little brat.”
“And you know I hate not getting what I want,” growls against your neck before biting it.
“Fuck!”
“I’ll be so fucking good, Mommy.”
“Once, Lloyd.”
“Sure,” he smirks before thrusting himself inside of you.
Lloyd has you three times before you force yourself to throw in the towel.
“I need something to wear home,” you pant once he collapses next to you.
“I can take you home just like this.”
“You can’t take me anywhere. I’m getting a car service.”
“Why-”
“In case someone is watching. The last thing I need my Father raking me over the coals about is you driving me home. I need something to wear.”
“This is stupid.”
“We’ve talked about this a handful of times. Don’t start.”
“At the end of the month, I can’t fuck you at all, but I have to wait a few days to even fuck you again?”
“Don’t start whining,” you sigh as you sit up. “Neither of us like it, but it is what it is.”
“What about if I stayed?”
“Stayed where?”
“With your Father’s company.”
“I mean, the chances are slim to none, cause my Father hates you.”
“Most people do,” he smirks.
“Besides, you’re the one who wants to be the CIA’s whipping boy, so why stay?”
“Well, it’s not like you make it sound all that great.”
“It just...it is what it is,” you sigh, feeling a little bit of sadness yourself, as you look over at him. “Now, I need clothes.”
He gives you one of his Harvard crew necks, which practically swallows you, and you order a car service.
“I want to see you tomorrow,” he mutters as you both stand outside and wait for the car to pull up.
“Stop it.”
“Why?”
“Lloyd-”
“I don’t like not getting what I want.”
“Welcome to the real world, Sweet Boy.”
“I don’t see why your Father doesn’t like me anyway. I’ve never done anything to piss him off.”
“I don’t know, baby. Maybe because you’re just a little unhinged at times,” you smirk and he chuckles as the car pulls up. “I gotta go,” you sigh, turning to walk away.
You turn to walk away, but Lloyd’s arm wraps around your waist pulls you close. Before you can say anything, his lips are on yours and he’s engulfing you in an all consuming kiss. You know you should pull away, but it’s Lloyd and you can never resist him. It’s bad enough that you two keep tip-toeing the line of fucking and something more, but it’s Lloyd. You can’t stop yourself, no matter how bad much you want to.
“I have to go,” you breathe once you two break apart.
“I know,” he pants, gripping you harder.
“Lloyd...this is all just sex...right?”
“Yes...of course it is.”
“Lloyd-”
“I mean it, Doll Face. You’re the best fuck I’ve ever had, and I’m not ready to give you...it up yet.”
“If you say so,” you chuckle softly, going to leave again, but Lloyd’s grip on you you doesn’t soften. “Lloyd-”
“I know...I’ll see you Monday,” he sighs, finally letting go of you.
You place a soft kiss on his cheek and let him go. “Come over on Tuesday night, okay?”
“You better your ass, Doll Face.”
“Bye,” you giggle before escaping down the steps and getting into the car that’s been waiting for you.
The ride to your house isn’t a long one, but it’s long enough that you rack your brain trying to figure out what’s wrong with you, and just exactly what the fuck is going on between you and Lloyd. You look down at the bracelet he gave you and you scowl. Yeah, he said it’s no big deal, but that doesn’t stop it from feeling like one. Why can’t you grow tired of him and why does it matter that he’s sleeping around?
He’s not your boyfriend and you don’t want him to be.
“Here, Miss,” the driver smiles at you, pulling you out of your mental debate.
“Thank you,” you smile softly, grabbing your clutch before getting out of the car.
You’re ready to start your little mental debate back up, but before you can, you look up to see Taj walking up to your door, also in only an Harvard crew neck. You both burst out laughing at the sight of each other, knowing that the both of you had an extremely good night.
“So, I see that someone had some fun last night,” you smirk as you unlock your front door.
“We clearly should’ve gone to Harvard,” she sighs as she throws her clutch on your little table by your door.
“Are you gonna see him again?”
“Yeah, I basically made him ask me on a date. I could tell he wanted to, but he seemed scared, so I told him that next Friday, he’s picking me up at 6 and we’re going out to dinner.”
“What’s it like to be fearless?”
“Pretty fucking great, not gonna lie,” she shrugs before looking at your arm. “Holy shit!”
“Oh, that,” you scoff looking down at the bracelet on your wrist.
“Oh no.”
“It’s nothing,” you mumble, plopping down on your sofa.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“You know better than to lie to me.”
“He’s just so fucking annoying,” you scowl as Taj starts laughing. “Of course, he says it’s not a big deal, he saw it and thought of me-”
“Awh!”
“Taj!”
“That’s fucking sweet! I don’t care what either of you idiots say, you both like each other. Why not go on a date and give it a try?”
“Because I don’t want to date him.”
“Why not?”
“Because...he sucks.”
“Didn’t know you were 5.”
“I hate you,” you mutter and she starts laughing again “for one, he’s high maintenance. You know how much I can’t stand that shit. Two, he’s such a winy little brat. He’s so fucking entitled, spoiled little fuck. Three, he can be pretty fucking heartless at times, and I don’t need another man like that in my life. Four, he’s fucking obsessed with himself...oh fuck,” you groan as you lay your head back and Taj bursts out laughing.
“There it is!”
“No, I can fix this. No. No. NO!”
“You like him!”
“Stop saying that!”
“You won’t give me the satisfaction of knowing I’m right just this once?”
“Not when it comes to this. Set me up on a date.”
“What? No!”
“Taj, please! I really don’t...PLEASE!”
“Why not just go on a date with him?”
“Because NO! Taj, I just...no, I don’t want to be in like with Lloyd Hansen of all fucking people. Besides, he’s still out getting his dick wet in whatever he can, so I really shouldn’t-”
“He clearly likes you too, babe,” she sighs, motioning towards the bracelet on your arm.
“No, he doesn’t. This means nothing to him.”
“Pretty pricey for it to mean nothing.”
“As if money matters to him. You’ve seen him, does it really look like money is something he worries about? Hell, I just spent the night at his house, I know it doesn’t matter to him.”
“Y/N-”
“No Taj, just trust me on this. He’s not the man you want me to end up with. Please, just set me up on a date with that doctor friend of yours. The one whose been asking for my number.”
“I don’t like this, at all, and don’t think it’s a good idea...but I’ll do it,” she sighs heavily.
“Thank you.”
“Yup.”
“Oh, don’t be fucking mad at me!”
“He makes you happy, Y/N!”
“He’s not good for me! Ugh, why are we arguing about this?!”
“Because, once again, you’re not doing something that’ll make you happy-”
“Being with Lloyd won’t make me happy!”
“Then why can’t you stay away from him? And don’t give me some bullshit answer about how it’s just sex.”
“That’s really all it is!”
“Okay.”
“Stop that!”
“Y/N, one of these days, you’re gonna need to realize that the person stopping you from being happy is you,” she sighs as she gets up. “I’ll call you when I get home.”
“You need clothes,” you mutter annoyed that somehow, without even trying, Lloyd has ruined your day.
“I’ll be fine. I’ll text Bryan when I get home and let you know. I love you,” she all but mumbles as she leaves.
You let out a frustrated scream and stomp your feet like a petulant child, before checking the time.
1:30.
Great, now you’ve got to get ready to spend time with your Father, which is the last thing you want. You take your time showering, washing the previous nights sexcapade off of you, and ignore the fact that you’re insanely pissed with yourself for falling for Lloyd.
How the fuck did it even happen?
At what point, did you brain decide that you like Lloyd as more than just a fuck toy? No, it’s total bullshit. It’s gotta be, because it makes no fucking sense. Sure, he makes you laugh sometimes, and can be kind when he feels like it, but you’ve barely spent enough time with him to actually have real feelings. Great sex doesn’t mean he’s worthy of your time. Being attractive as all shit, doesn’t mean he’s a good candidate for the fairy tale life you want.
Besides, he doesn’t even want that shit, so why even entertain the idea of that shit?
By the time you arrive at your Father’s house, you’ve worked yourself into a frenzy.
“What did I do wrong this time?” he sighs as he pouts you a glass of wine.
“What? Oh, nothing. It’s nothing you’ve done, this one’s on me.”
“Do you wanna talk about it?”
“Lets not pretend that parenting is actually your strong suit.”
“I’m trying, Y/N.”
“I know you are and I appreciate it, but you don’t have to.”
“Well, how was your birthday?”
“Good, Taj and I got drunk and went skating. It’s what I needed.”
“And how is Taj?”
“She’s fine. Just as much Taj as shes always been,” you mumble looking down at your hands.
“Y/N, what’s wrong? I know you usually hate hanging out with me, but this isn’t you.”
“I just...I’m not saying this to start an argument. I just really fucking wish this wasn’t my life. Yeah, I’m out at the end of the month, goody, but the damage is done. I never feel normal around other people, and I even feel selfish for having Taj as a best friend. Every time I hangout with her, I feel like I’m putting her in danger. Why? Because I have enemies, and so do you. Hell, me being your daughter probably doubles my list. Now, I’m gonna start dating and I want to get married and have kids, but how the fuck can I do that? I’ve barely ever lived that life. The closest I got was college and we all saw how much of a shit show that was. So, what options do I have left after that? Date someone in our line of work? I did that and I ended up having to kill him and almost killed myself. So, that’s my fucking issue. I’m 26 and I don’t have a fucking clue what I’m doing,” you mutter, wiping away the few tears you cried before taking a sip of wine.
Your Father lets out a deep sigh before taking a seat across from you at the kitchen isle. “Ya know, for a time, I wanted the same thing you want now. I tried.”
“What?”
“I tried to be the guy that could have a family, work a respectable job, be open and loving...I tried to be normal.”
“What happened?”
“I felt like you feel now. No matter how much I tried to fit into that role, I couldn’t because it wasn’t for me. Squares don’t fit into a circle. That life stopped being an option for me a long time ago. When I met your Mother, I had just decided to stop trying. She didn’t want anything except a night of fun, and I was good at that so I was more than happy to give her what she wanted. Fast forward two months, she found me and told me the news. You’re right, I didn’t want you. It obviously wasn’t anything you’d done, I just wasn’t capable of being a Father. How the fuck was I supposed to love and care for you, when that’s never been something I’ve done? I tried and I sucked at it. However, your Mother,” he smirks with a scoff “she was over the moon about you. Couldn’t wait. I told her I’d pay for the abortion and she almost stabbed me. Maybe that’s where you get it from, anyway, she was hellbent on having you and I wasn’t about to be a deadbeat like my own Father. So, I decided to suck it up and marry her. No, it wasn’t ideal and she wasn’t necessarily happy about the line of work I was in, but she accepted it. Somewhere deep down inside, she did love me and I tried my hardest to love her. I think that’s what hurt her the most. She saw me trying, but it was plain as day that it was something I just wasn’t capable of. Anyway, fast forward to the day that you were born...I had an attitude the entire time I drove to the hospital,” he laughs softly. “You were already fucking up my life and you hadn’t even gotten here yet. I was supposed to be going on a mission for Fitzroy, but your Mother called right before I was about to leave and Fitz insisted that I go. When I got there, your Mother in all her glory, was throwing ice chips at the nurses and threatening to kill everyone if they didn’t get you out of her soon. Honestly, your Mother could’ve done what we do. Nonetheless, 9 hours later, you were brought into the world. Your Mother was exhausted, but she was over the moon. She made me hold you, and it was the first time someone was genuinely happy to see me. Your big innocent eyes, the smile that was plastered across your face...I loved you instantly. So, I decided to try again.
No, I wasn’t around as much as I should’ve been, but I was there on family park days, I tucked you in, I sang you lullabies when you would start screaming bloody murder at 3am, I never missed a beach day. I tried. Your Mother and I bonded, and for just a moment, I thought I’d finally done it. I was with someone who accepted me as I was, flaws and all, I had a great kid that loved me, and I was around enough. Then, your Mother got sick. We didn’t tell you, but she and I knew she wasn’t going to make it. She was diagnosed at stage 4, but she didn’t want you to think about that. She wanted to enjoy as much time with you as she could, without you worrying that it would be your last time with her. Then, when the raid happened...there was no way she was gonna let me try and save her. She just wanted you to be safe. It broke my heart, because she was my best friend. She was the first person to come into my life that tolerated me and made an attempt to understand me. She was also the one who understood you the best. But the look she gave me...she just wanted you safe. You cried so much and I did too, in private. However, I still had you and I was determined to keep you safe, so I decided to train you. Of course I noticed the change in your attitude and the way you would look at me. I knew it wasn’t what you wanted, but I figured it was the best way to keep you safe, so even when I can’t be there to protect you, you can protect yourself.
However, you’re not me, which is something I should be grateful for. I am grateful for that. You were determined to have some sort of normalcy because, unlike me, you’re built for it. Yeah, you’re fucking terrifying when you need to be, I’d like to think you got that from both your Mother and I, but you have a huge heart. I know you’ve been going to see that girl in the coma, and you obviously don’t have to. She’s nothing to you, but you care. You don’t want her to be alone, because even though you play the part well, you’re not a monster. You have Taj and you’d burn the world down for that girl if you even think someone has any intention of hurting her. You fell in love, got your heartbroken in the worst way, yet you’re still trying,” he sniffs, wiping his eyes. “The point of this very long winded statement is, you’re going to be fine. You’re going to figure it out and you’ll have the life you want. The kids, the house, the husband, the fucking dog...you’ll get it. Of course, I want you to keep doing this because you’re the best there is, but I always knew you’d stand your ground one day. I am proud of you, Y/N. Yeah, I’m a hard ass, but I see how hard you work, and I see how hard you love. You’re a better person than I could ever be and you came out better than I could’ve ever imagined. You’re gonna be just fine,” your Father finishes with a soft smile as you wipe your eyes.
You slowly get up and round the isle, and wrap your Father in a tight hug.
“What the fuck are you doing?!” he snaps.
“I’m giving my Father a hug, dumbass,” you laugh softly.
“You know I don’t do hugs, Y/N.”
“I promise I won’t tell anyone that you were nice to your only daughter. Ya know what’s weird? It’s actually normal for Father’s to hug their daughters!”
“Always the fucking smart ass,” he laughs as he wraps his arms around you. “I love you, Y/N.”
“I love you too.”
“Enough to stay?”
“Lets not ruin the moment.”
“Can’t blame me for trying,” he laughs.
The rest of evening is surprisingly pleasant and you two even watch a movie together, and you honestly don’t remember the last time you two did that. By the time you’re home, you’re feeling so much lighter. However, there’s still one issue.
Lloyd.
While you’re than happy to know that you Father believes you’ll have the life of normalcy you want, and basically gave you his blessing, you still don’t want that person to be Lloyd. It can’t be Lloyd. No matter what Taj thinks.
Oxford Princess: I gave Bryan your number, he’s over the moon and is gonna ask you to dinner on Monday. Just a heads up.
Y/N: Can you not be mad at me about this, please?
Oxford Princess: I’m not mad. You know Lloyd better than I do obviously, so if you’re so sure it’s not even a good idea to try, then who am I to question it?
Y/N: Don’t do that. Don’t just brush it off because you don’t like when we disagree.
Oxford Princess: I’m not brushing it off, but you’re so sure that he’s so terrible, and you would know. So if you say no, no it is.
Y/N: Why do you want me to be with him so bad?
Oxford Princess: It’s not like I want you to marry the kid, but he makes you happy when he isn’t pissing you off. You forget, I fucking know you. I’ve seen it all and I remember that asshole who fucked you over. Yeah, Lloyd fucks you stupid which is something you’ve always craved, but he makes you laugh. Really laugh. You smile whenever you see that he’s the one who text you. I already knew when you started fucking him and you stopped, because your whole mood changed. Someone who has this much of an effect on you...it’s at least worth a date.
Y/N: He doesn’t want the same things that I want. Taj. Even if I do look past all the shit about him that pisses me the fuck off, I’m just setting myself up to get hurt.
Oxford Princess: Maybe he feels that way, because hes never found anyone else to make him feel differently.
Y/N: Why should I have to be the crash test dummy?
Oxford Princess: That’s a fair point. Like I said, you know him better than me. If you think this is the best plan of action, then stick to it. I just want you to be happy. I love you, babygirl.
Y/N: I love you.
You sigh as you lay back on the sofa, trying to go through all of the conversations you’ve had today, before your phone starts going off. You groan in frustration before answering it.
“Hello?”
“Awh, what’s wrong, Buttercup?” Lloyd laughs as you hear someone in the background getting dressed.
You don’t like the fact that it makes your blood boil. “It’s been a long day, Lloyd. How may I help you?”
“What’s wrong?”
“Lloyd, what’s up?”
“I know you said Tuesday, but why not Monday?”
“I might not be able to on Monday.”
“Why? You have a date?” he scoffs, which only pisses you off more.
“Yes, in fact, I do.”
“What?!”
“I have a date, Lloyd.”
“What the fuck?! What do you mean you have a date?”
“What part don’t you comprehend?” you snap, but it’s hurting you that you’ve obviously made him upset.
“I didn’t know you were going on dates, Cupcake.”
“I’m sorry, but don’t I hear someone getting dressed right now?”
“Yeah, but she doesn’t mean anything! Sorry Sunshine, but you don’t.”
“Why are you so upset?”
“I’m not.”
“Yeah, okay sure.”
“I’m not, it just took me by surprise. So, what? Is it someone from work?”
“He’s a doctor-”
“A fucking doctor? You can do better than that, Cupcake.”
“Like what? You?”
“Never said that.”
“That’s how you’re acting.”
“I’m not acting like anything.”
“You very clearly have an issue with me going on a date, even though you’re very clearly fucking other women, and now you’re putting him down even though you know nothing about him. I don’t know, seems to me like you’re acting like a winy little brat. As per usual.”
“I don’t give a fuck who or what you do, just don’t come crying to me when the sex is shit.”
“Trust me, I won’t.”
“Fine.”
“Fine!” you huff before hanging up.
Why are you mad? Why is he mad? He says it means nothing to him, so what’s the fucking issue? These thoughts and more run through your head, as you decide to it’s time to say goodnight and make your way upstairs.
Another reason you hate yourself for sleeping over at Lloyd’s.
No, it’s not like you two were cuddled up together or anything, but it was nice to not sleep in an empty bed. You’ll never tell him, but you want to fall asleep next to him again. You want to fall asleep next to someone who isn’t completely foreign to you.
This sucks.
When you wake up, you pull the covers over your head, tired of dealing with any and every thing. You have a ton of work you need to get done, but you don’t care. Nothing really matters anymore and you just want to disappear. When you grab your personal phone off your nightstand, you groan in frustration when you see you have a string of texts from Lloyd.
American Psycho: Listen, I’m not mad that you have a date, I’m annoyed because you didn’t tell me. You and I are very clearly fucking each other and it would’ve been nice to have a heads up, Cupcake.
American Psycho: I don’t even know why you want to go on a date with a fucking doctor of all things. You can do so much better.
American Psycho: It’s not like he’s even going to understand you. You can’t ever be honest with him, even if you do fall in love with him. He’s never going to know the real you. He can’t.
American Psycho: You just expect him to understand one day? You think he’s going be forgiving of all of the shit you’ve done? You think he’s going to be understanding?
You groan in frustration before forcing yourself to respond.
Y/N: Good morning to you too. I’m going on dates because I want to be in a fucking relationship, Hansen. I would have given you a heads up, but it happened right before you called me. Just because I’m fucking you, doesn’t mean I need to tell you every little thing. After I leave my Father’s business, I want some normalcy. Sorry if that doesn’t fall in line with the idea of what you want. You know that I was engaged at one point, so I don’t know why me wanting a normal life is such a surprise to you. You said yourself that what we do is just sex, so there’s no reason for you to feel some type of way. Besides, you don’t tell me when you go out and fuck other people.
You sit up and sigh, looking over at your alarm clock. Of course you slept in. You’re ready to get out of bed when your phone you let out a frustrated scream.
You don’t even know why you’re going to answer him.
“Whaaaaaat?” you groan with an exasperated sigh.
“Don’t get all fucking pissy with me.”
“Lloyd, what I decide to do with my personal time is my business, and my business alone.”
“Do you even know anything about him?”
“Why is this bothering you so much?!”
“I’ve already told you: I don’t like sharing my toys.”
“At the end of this month, I’m fucking done. I want a normal life-”
“What’s so great about that?”
“It’s better than this!”
“Bullshit, Cupcake! You’re not meant to be someone’s house pet!”
“Jesus, not you too!”
“You know I’m right, Cupcake!”
“For fucks sake! I like getting flowers! I like being taken on dates! Yes, I obviously love being fucked like a rag doll, but I also love cute and sappy shit! I want to be someones wife! I want to go out and not have a fucking gun on me! I want to go out with Taj and not feel like I’m putting her in danger! I want to not lie to my best friend! I want a normal fucking life, Lloyd! So yes, I will be going on dates, because I eventually want to get married and have kids! I want a fucking family pet! I want a house with a white picket fence that has walls that will be marked up with crayon because my children will be assholes that draw on the walls! Now, unless you want to try out for the position, leave it the fuck alone! Be happy that I let you fuck me at all and be done with it!” you scream before hanging up.
You’re about to get up, when your phone goes off again.
“Lloyd, what part of what I said did you-”
“Um, this isn’t, Lloyd,” a soft voice laughs awkwardly.
“Oh,” you chuckle nervously “I’m guessing you’re Bryan?”
“Guilty,” he laughs softly “So uh...I was wondering if tomorrow night-”
“Yes,” you say impulsively before you can even stop yourself.
“Oh, that was easier than I thought it’d be,” he chuckles. “I can pick you up from your house, if you’re comfortable with that.”
“Um, I can get a car service. It’s no big deal,” you laugh nervously.
“Do you like Italian?”
“I love it!”
“I know the perfect spot to take you to. Not to be lame or anything, but they do have a bit of a dress code.”
“I’ll fish out my best dress.”
“I’m sure you look amazing in anything. I have to get back, but I’ll text you the information.”
“Sounds good,” you smile before hanging up.
Fuck Lloyd Hansen.
From that moment on, every time your phone buzzes, you think it’s Lloyd (you want it to be Lloyd), but it isn’t. As much as you hate to admit it, you’re disappointed each time. It’s not like him to go a whole day without talking to you. He’s usually begging for sex or bitching about something mundane and making you laugh.
Why do you miss that so much?
It doesn’t help that he’s glaring daggers at you almost all day the next day. He doesn’t speak to you unless you speak to him first, he very much has an attitude with you, and the mission goes off without a hitch... but that’s only because you’re barely able to reel him back in, and he’s short with everyone.
You’ve cracked him.
“So, Suzanne still thinks something is going on between you and Lloyd,” your Father sighs as you take a seat in front of his desk.
“We barely even spoke to each other today. Tell Suzanne to fuck off.”
“Y/N, just tell me-”
“Nothing is happening, he’s just mad at me,” you scowl.
“What happened?”
“I’m not always nice and we got into an argument. No big deal.”
“An argument about...?”
“You don’t need to know everything about everything.”
“You do understand that fucking him will completely-”
“Can you stop bringing that up? Jesus, we’re not fucking. I have a date tonight anyway so-”
“Oh?”
“It’s a date, we’ll see how it goes.”
“Name?”
“Bryan.”
“Occupation?”
“A doctor.”
“That could be useful.”
“Frank,” you warn.
“Yeah, I get it and I won’t push. Does Lloyd know?”
“Yup.”
“You don’t think that’s the reason he’s upset?”
“It’s not my business. He’s just another job. My last job. We aren’t anything to each other and that’s that.”
“You don’t think he has feelings for you?”
“Lloyd Hansen has feelings for Lloyd Hansen. His needs come before everyone else, he’s spoiled, and that’s just how he functions. If he’s upset about anything, it’s because he wasn’t the first test driver,” you mumble, shifting your gaze to the window. “It’s not like it even matters.”
“Business aside, Y/N, tell me how you feel.”
“Lloyd Hansen is not the man I want to end up with. Yeah, we get along well enough and we have decent conversations, but he’s still an asshole. He’s someone I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with. That being said, he’s not a complete and total bad guy, I feel bad when I do hurt his feelings. He’s a friend and you feel bad when you make a friend upset,” you shrug.
“Is that all it is?”
“That’s all it can be,” you sigh as you avert your gaze to the window.
“I meant what I said that other day, Y/N. I want you to be happy. If you truly want a normal life, I want that for you. Me being up your ass about Lloyd...the boy is a paycheck, but he’s also not worth of your time and attention. Yes, Fitz wants to make sure you’re giving him a fair grade, but the parent part of me...I know Lloyd, because I was Lloyd. He’s going to hurt you and you’ve been through enough.”
“All I want to do is get through this and move on in my life,” you sigh as you start to fiddle with your fingers.
“This is my fault and I’m sorry. I truly am sorry, because I’m the one that made all of this difficult.”
“Lets not start pointing fingers, because it’s not going to help anything,” you sigh, finally meeting your Father’s soft gaze. “I just need to sort my shit out. I always need to sort my shit out.”
“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but focus on your date tonight. Have fun.”
“I get another year older and you’re all soft,” you smirk as your Father laughs. “I’ll be alright. This isn’t like last time. I’m just...I’m dealing,” you smile weakly.
“I really am sorry.”
“Just don’t worry about it. We are where we are and I’ll figure it out. One way or another, I always figure it out,” you smile before standing up. “Are we done here?”
“Yup.”
“See you tomorrow,” you smile softly before making your way out.
As you leave the building, you feel Lloyd’s gaze on you and you do your best ti ignore it. However he is or isn’t feeling isn’t your business. You’ve gotta move on.
The entire time you’re getting dressed for your date, you’re hoping and praying for a text and/or call from Lloyd telling you not to go.
Another sign that you’re being the toxic one in all of this.
By the time you’re dressed and ready to go, you have a headache and your stomach is in knots. It’s not even like you’re expecting Bryan to be “the one”, you just want to get Lloyd out of your brain. Yeah, you knew that sleeping with him wasn’t in your best interest from the beginning, but you didn’t think you’d fuck up this bad.
Never listen to Taj again.
“You look amazing,” Bryan scoffs, looking you over with a genuine smile on his face.
“You don’t look too bad yourself,” you smile sheepishly, taking a seat and placing your clutch on the table.
You wonder what it’s like to go on a first date and not have a gun hidden in your purse, just in case. Fuck normal people and their false sense of security.
“I’m not gonna lie, I was pretty shocked when Taj said you wanted her to set you up with me,” he laughs softly.
“Yeah, I’m starting on a new chapter in my life and I figured that I should start it off with a date with a good guy.”
“A safe bet?”
“Something like that,” you smile softly.
As the night goes on, the date goes well enough, but you’re bored. It’s not even like you can blame Bryan, because he’s doing his best. In all honesty, you shouldn’t be bored at all, but you miss Lloyd.
God, you hate that.
You just have more in common with him, so the conversations you two have are either filled with dark humor, or very honest. It’s part of the reason you hate having conversations with him. Even with him being a spoiled little shit, you can talk to him for hours about everything and nothing at once. And he makes you laugh. He’s so funny when he wants to be, and can keep you laughing until you can’t breathe.
Plus, you love the way he looks at you when you’re smiling and laughing. Even during sex. He’ll never admit it, and you don’t want him to, but the look in his eyes lets you know that he loves making you laugh and he could listen to it forever. The way he smiles at you...how could you want anything else.
Too bad Lloyd is a piece of shit.
“How’s your pasta?” Bryan asks as you take a sip of wine.
“It’s honestly amazing,” you smile, putting your glass down and picking up your fork. “I can see why you love this place so much.”
“You’re so quiet and it’s making me-”
Before he can finish his statement, a fist collides with his face. You look up to see Lloyd’s angry gaze on you.
“WHAT THE FUCK?!” you yell as people come to Bryan’s aide.
“Lets go.”
“Lloyd, YOU CAN’T JUST PUNCH PEOPLE IN THE FACE! YOU CAN’T PUNCH MY FUCKING DATE IN THE FACE!” you scream as he pulls you out of your chair. You’re quick to grab your clutch, but you fight against his hold. “Lloyd-”
“Jesus Christ,” he sighs before pulling out his wallet and throwing a bunch of 20 and 50 dollar bills on the table. “Sorry about your face,” he mutters towards Bryan before throwing money at him too. “That should cover any medical expenses. Now, lets go,” he glares at you, before starting to pull him out with you.
You let him drag you half way through a dark alley before you pull yourself free from his grip. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?!”
“Oh, come off it,” he scoffs, finally turning to meet your gaze. “You were fucking bored, Cupcake!”
“Cupcake?! You’re annoyed with me right now?! I’m sorry, have I ever interrupted any of your nights and punched anyone you’re fucking in the face?!”
“I did you a favor!”
“You did yourself a favor!”
“You weren’t having a good time!”
“How would you know?!”
“I’ve been watching you since you left work, I followed you, and I’ve been watching you the entire time. I know you! You were fucking bored, because he’s boring and annoying, and I did you a fucking favor. What? Were you planning on fucking him tonight?”
“Maybe!”
“We both know he can’t make you feel anywhere near as good as I do when I fuck you! You think he’s gonna make you squirt?”
“Lets not pretend that’s something you discovered,” you scowl.
“Such a fucking bitch!”
“This is stupid, I’m going home,” you mumble as you open your clutch and go to get out of your phone.
Lloyd has you pinned against the wall in a matter of seconds. “Come home with me.”
“Stop it.”
“At the end of the month, all of this is done. Come home with me.”
“We both have to go in, in the morning-”
“I’ll drive you home myself,” he promises as he hoists you up and you wrap your legs around his waist. “Daddy loves seeing you in dresses, Doll Face,” he groans as he grinds himself against you.
“Lloyd,” you moan.
“Daddy wants to see you in more dresses, Doll Face.”
“Can’t wear dresses to work,” you moan, feeling the knot in your core tighten like it always does for him.
“Weekends, baby. I wanna see you as much as I can before we have to stop.”
“Lloyd-”
“Don’t tell me no. Please don’t tell me no,” he begs pathetically with a whimper.
You look down and meet his soft gaze, biting your bottom lip. He’s never going to tell you that he wants you, only you (and you don’t want him to), but the look he’s giving you says everything.
He’s just as gone for you as you are for him.
“We should stop now.”
“I don’t want to.”
“Lloyd-”
“Don’t, because you don’t want to either. Lets just...this will all be over soon.”
“Take me home, Daddy,” you moan, finally giving in.
Lloyd has you twice before deciding he needs a break.
“You want any dates?” he asks as you get comfortable on his bed.
“You would eat dates,” you scowl, your irritation with him still very apparent.
“What’s wrong with dates?!”
“Nothing.”
“I have a feeling that I’m going to be making up for this night for a while.”
“I mean, you punched my date in the fucking face for literally nothing so-”
“You’re acting like you were having the best time!”
“Go get your fucking dates, you pretentious fuck,” you mumble as you avert your gaze to the window.
“I fuck you till you’re stupid, and you’d think that would grant me some fucking mercy.”
“Lloyd, I’ll honestly punch you in throat if you don’t shut the fuck up right now,” you warn; your eyes giving away just how fed up you are with him.
All he does is scowl before walking out of the room. You’re alone with your thoughts for all of three seconds before your phone starts going off. You can’t help but chuckle before answering it.
“Hello?”
“LLOYD PUNCHED BRYAN IN THE FUCKING FACE?!” Taj exclaims as you burst out laughing.
“Stop it, Taj.”
“Um no, what the fuck? Where are you now?”
“Said face punchers’ house,” you groan as you lay back.
“Y/N!”
“I know! Trust me, I know!”
“Honestly, I’m just being told I’m right, right now.”
“Taj!”
“He likes you and you like him.”
“He does not!”
“That’s why he punched your date in the face?”
“I’m going now. I love you, bye!”
“I love you, too, little Miss Magic Pussy.”
“Taji!”
“Bye,” she sings before hanging up.
“Let me guess, Doctor boy snitched on me?” Lloyd laughs as he makes his way back into the bedroom, a glass of wine in hand and you know its for you.
“I mean, you did punch him in the face,” you snap harshly as you take the wine glass from him.
“Jesus, what did you want?! To ride off in the sunset with him?!”
“You don’t need to know!”
“I saved you from a boring date and bad sex. The least you could do is thank me!”
“I’m not going to thank you for being a dick, Lloyd.”
“You’re wearing my bracelet-”
“Only because I’m wearing my Mother’s locket,” you quickly interrupt without thinking.
“So that’s why it means so much to you.”
“Don’t.”
“I’m not, I’m just trying to understand you more.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re the most complicated person I’ve ever met.”
“I tried to warn you.”
“What can I say? I like to play with fire,” he smirks and you feel yourself becoming desperate for him all over again.
“Lloyd-”
“Shut up,” he scoffs before dipping down and kissing you deeply.
You hate how all consuming his kisses can be, “What do you want from me, Lloyd?” you breathe as you two break apart.
“Just wanna get lost in you for a little while longer, Doll Face.”
“Why?”
“Because it feels good. So fucking good.”
“And when the month is up?”
“Gotta find someone else to get lost in,” he shrugs.
“If we stop-”
“We don’t want to,” he growls.
“This is getting out of hand-”
“I promise to not punch anymore of your dates in the fucking face.”
“This is more than that, Lloyd-”
“No it isn’t.”
“Why do you keep-”
“I’m happy, Y/N,” he moans as he slides two fingers into your soaked cunt. “I’m happy and it’s because of you.”
“So, shouldn’t we-”
“No, because you’re happy too. We have fun and we need that; especially in the line of work we do.”
“Baby, I don’t-”
“It’s just two more weeks,” he pleads as he picks up his pace and your toes curl.
“Fuck,” you moan as you come undone on his fingers.
So, you silently give in. You tell him (and yourself) that it stops after the two weeks are up. It’s just sex and you don’t need him as much as he needs you. Because, at the end of the day, he’s the one that’s always seeking you out. It’ll be easy to say goodbye and that’s just a fact.
So, for the next two weeks you and Lloyd fuck like there’s no tomorrow. He comes to your house (because you refuse to go to his), and mind numbing every time. Almost like he’s making sure you never forget that he’s the only one that’s ever made you feel so amazing. However, they’re days that he comes over and wants nothing.
Those days fuck you up.
He just wants to be in your space. He watches TV while you work, plays with your hair when you’re exhausted and just want to calm down, and orders dinner when you’re putting together plans and lessons. When you ask him why he comes over, he simply says “you annoy me the least out of everyone I know.”
By the time his evaluation arrives, your head is spinning.
“So, what do you think?” Fitzroy asks as you all sit at the main table in the conference room.
You feel your heartbreaking just a bit, but mask it well as you take a deep breath. “Lloyd Hansen is ready for the CIA,” you smile. “You’ll more than likely bump heads with him from time to time, but he’s come a long way from when you first brought him to me. He’s pulled back on his methods of torture, you’ll never find anyone more dedicated, and he’s damn good on the field. He’s calm when shit goes sideways and he’s always prepared with a backup plan. Yeah, he’s still working on the whole authority thing, but he listens well for the most part. Fitz, you have a new whipping boy,” you smile sarcastically and Fitzroy responds with the same smile.
“So, what do ya say, Son? Ready to join the CIA?”
How you’re not prepared for what comes next is beyond you. It’s Lloyd. Nothing can ever go as planned, because he’s an asshole.
“No,” Lloyd responds cool, shit eating grin painted across his face.
“No?!” your Father yells as you choke on your spit.
“No.”
“Why the fuck not?!”
“Well, I’ve been thinking about it a lot these last few weeks, and I just don’t want it anymore,” he shrugs.
You look over at Carmichael, who is doing his best to hide his laughter, and shrug at him. All he does in response is shake his head.
“Son, do you know how much time and energy we’ve put into you?” Fitzroy questions, sitting up and leaning in, his anger very much showing on his face.
“No one told you to do that.”
“Lloyd-” you start.
“No, I don’t want to join the CIA anymore. However, I do want to stay here, under the watchful eye of Y/N.”
“Come again?” you question, still confused as to what the fuck is actually going on.
“What part didn’t you comprehend, Doll Face?”
“What the fuck is going on?!” Fitzroy yells.
“Watch it,” your Father warns.
“Can everyone shut the fuck up for 5 seconds?!” you question, your brain going into overdrive. “Lloyd, today is my last day. After this, I’m done.”
“Then I guess I’m a free agent.”
“Now, just hold on-” your Father starts.
“No, the deal is that I work under Y/N, or I walk. So, what do ya say, Doll Face?” Lloyd smirks at you.
With everyone’s eyes on you, you know you have to make a decision and fast. Lloyd or a normal life? Work or stability? Happiness or frustration?
One thing’s for sure; with Lloyd in the picture, nothing is ever going to be the same again.
~~
Taglist: @whxre4cevans, @fuckingbye, @maroonsunrise83, @whiskeytangofoxtrot555, @autumnrose40, @emerald-evans, @chris-butt, @greeneyedblondie44, (I’m sorry if I forgot anyone!)
#Lloyd Hansen fic#lloyd hansen x reader#lloyd hansen smut#lloyd hansen x y/n#lloyd hansen#The Gray Man#The Gray Man Fan fic#fanfiction#fan fiction#fanfic#fan fic#fanfic smut#fan fic smut#Smut#I know I'm forgetting something#but in my defense#it's been a long fucking day
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If you saw my last post - then you'll understand why I'm making this one!! Plus I'm showing off the amazing art by my friend Nere - I'm here to explain all my Next Gen's partners!! (Pearl and Kid's partners will just have to be explained later though.... sorry Kin and Otto.)
I've added the chart again so you know the names of everyone in case for some reason it got confusing.. anyway!!
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"Glitch, what did you mean in that last post that you couldn't have Guy and Darwin together?" ... welp I guess now's a good time to introduce the Next Gen's partners!!
Starting with Pig. (Pig in a blanket Dog). If you remember in the show Guy said he was "born attached to his two brothers" - yeah.
Echo and I have named them "Hot Dog Dude" and "Hot Dog Man". Dude ended up with a teen pregnancy (17, same age as Gum) which resulted in Pig being born. But Dude wasn't the best parent and didn't really want the responsibility.. so Guy stepped up. Ends becoming more of a father to his nephew than Dude ever was. Guy even legally adopts Pig at some point, and Pig sees Dude as more of an 'uncle' instead. (I'm sure that's confusing but idk man, it is what it is.)
Anywaysss - Pig ends up with Zipper!! ("Childhood friends to Lovers” trope). Very sappy and in love!! The reason I didn't wanna put Guy with Darwin is because well.. Zip is Darwin's nephew. Wouldn't it be odd if your uncle is dating your boyfriend's dad...? ("Glitch, Guy isn't biologically Pig's dad though?" - I know, but it's.. the principal.. okay???) So I figured it's just easier to keep Guy and Dar as good friends. (I say all this as if there isn't confusing stuff later.. I'LL GET TO IT.)
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Moving on; Leonard (Lenny) is obviously; Larry and Karen's son! (I did make a post recently saying that Larry is also married to Small, yep that's still true. Go read that post if you're confused though. Lenny ends up with Cas!! ("Friends to Lovers" trope. Yes all the GR kids have a 'romance trope' with their relationships cause I think it's fun!)
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Continuing down the line - Cosette ends up with Wessley. He is just an Oc with OC parents. Isn't a next gen of anyone in canon so there's not much to explain there. (their 'trope' is the "Coffee Shop Romance" btw!) I don't have much to say about them other than I love them!! (I love all my next gen ships.)
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Nezt up is Elliot who ends up with a boy named Rodney (Rod)! He is the son of "Shooting Star" (which I just say at this point is his name. Another Hot Dog Guy situation lol)
As for Rodney's mom? She was an anonymous surrogate. I know who she is (yes it's another bg character, I'm sure you could figure out which one.) Rod plays a pivotal role in Eli's life, and ironically their 'trope' is "Second Chances''. They go through trials and errors but work though it <33
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Aaaaand finally for the twins; Roe ends up with Nimble and Rem ends up with a girl named Lei!
Nimble is a fictional lizard/gator thing, a species I made up and still don't have a name for :') Nim was an orphan but eventually adopted by some of Cas' classmates (who, are adults at this point and are Oc's so no canon characters again.)
Roe and Nim are the classic "Enimies to Lover's" trope - just like GumRob! Nim was Roe's 'nemesis' (it was more of a one sided thing. Roe hated Nim way more than Nim could ever hate Roe LMAO). Took Roe a while to even ADMIT he had any feelings for Nim. (Of course the whole fam teased him about it.)
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Rem ends up with Lei - the daughter of Chi Chi and LeXing. ("Who's LeXing?" - does Miracle Star sound familiar? If not, Miracle Star was the carbon copy of TAWoG which then inspired the "Copycats" episode that Chi Chi starred in.) Yeah, Chi Chi wasn't happy to hear his daughter was with a Watterson so their 'trope' is "Forbidden Lovers" but that's a much more dramatic title. Chi Chi was not happy in the slightest.. but it wasn't like he didn't allow them to date, ya know?
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I hope this gives some insight on these guys ;v; and PLEASE go check out my friend Nere, the one who drew the 6 images of all the GR kids and their partners <33
(I might add more later)
#the amazing world of gumball#tawog#glitch's next gen tawog#my next gen#gumrob#tawog gumball#tawog rob#gumball watterson#rob tawog#darwin watterson
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Headcanons about how did Kakyoin, Polnareff, Avdol, and Oldseph meet their s/o (same shy and quiet but kind and patient s/o) please?
How Kakyoin, Polnareff, Avdol and Oldseph met their Shy and Kind S/O Headcanons
𝐀/𝐍: Okay first of all anon I’m so so sorry this took so long to post!!! If I remember correctly you sent this ask in mid September? I’m so sorry it took so long again and with school I had to put requests on hold for a bit to focus. I hope you enjoy these headcanons though, and thank you for sending this request!
𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠(𝐬): Some spoilers for Part 3!
Noriaki Kakyoin
- Chances are you either met in the short while Kakyoin spent at school before traveling with the Crusaders to Egypt, or on the actual trip itself.
- You definitely caught his eye once or twice before actually taking for the first time, as he was struck by your kind gestures and patience with others, even if he was under the control of DIO. And once that control was broken and you two finally began to talk, you hit it off well!
- If you met at school then you’d be understanding about him saying he has to leave. He doesn’t disclose much about the situation for fear of getting you hurt by involving you, but he lets you know he’ll be thinking of you. On the trip, he’ll write to you nearly every day, sending sappy words, photos, and even souvenirs!
- The letters quickly become something you look forward to, and as the months go by you eagerly wait for his words or even his return. They act as the way for your relationship to develop and when he does come back to you, you’re both throwing your arms around each other in happiness!
- If you meet him along the trip then you’ll obviously learn what the end goal is, and you support Kakyoin with that goal! Like with the last batch of headcanons for him, he’s incredibly grateful for your patience and support, and you’re more than willing to help him out.
- So, whether you met before or during the trip to Egypt, Kakyoin loves you so! Meeting you changed a lot in his life, but he’s glad for that!
Jean Pierre Polnareff
- With Polnareff, I imagine you maybe were a childhood friend or again, someone be met on his way to Egypt.
- If you were his childhood friend, then obviously you two went through a lot together. After his sister Sherry was tragically killed, you comforted him and let him know you were there for him. For this, he was always so thankful to you, and when he told you of his reasons for leaving, he reassured you he’d return.
- Polnareff would then send you gifts like Kakyoin would, and oftentimes they included love letters to you asking how things were back home. You would await these letters happily, but still miss him dearly. When he finally came back you two reunited with tears in your eyes!
- If you met during the trip to Egypt, Polnareff would be the first to welcome you with open arms into the group! You found him to be incredibly friendly and fun to be around, and you two quickly got to talking!
- As the trip went on, you two got to know each other better, and by the end you were nearly inseparable! You also faced a lot during the journey together, so being able to rely on each other was nice. Your kindness and patience were greatly appreciated, especially when Polnareff was constantly getting into fights with enemy Stand users.
- In the end you two meeting will always be a memory Polnareff cherishes, even if he knew you for far lo bc er or got to know you in the span of 50 days!
Muhammad Avdol
- For Avdol I’m picturing you were someone he ran into back in New York, perhaps even accompanying him when he found Iggy.
- He was most likely trying to make his way through the crowded streets when you bumped into each other, spilling both your belongings. You both profusely apologized for the incident and locked eyes, and immediately the sparks began to fly!
- As he helped you to your feet, you two began to converse about names and hobbies and whatnot, and Avdol asked you if you could perhaps help him with something. You agreed, and that was when you helped assist him in calming and containing Iggy.
- You two separated after that incident, but kept in touch and learned a lot about each other. Perhaps he even asked you to fly in with Iggy and join the Crusaders as they neared Egypt! You of course were more than happy to help him, and he was glad to see you again!
- Very happy you’re a kind and patient individual, as you help him to keep order within the group. The others can get… chaotic at times, so it’s nice to have somebody at his side who can help calm them down. You even were able to befriend Iggy, which was not an easy task for him!
- All in all very glad to have met you then. You’re somebody he cherishes and admires, and he’s glad you’re at his side and loving him as well!
Joseph Joestar
- For Joseph I imagine a mix of situations. Maybe you were a friend of Suzi Q who was introduced to him through her, maybe it was Lisa Lisa who did so, or maybe it was both! It could’ve been that you also met through his real estate work or on his trip to Egypt.
- Really, there’s a lot of options! Being introduced via Suzi Q and/or Lisa Lisa would mean you two have known each other for a long time, yet Joseph loves you and has loved you all that time! Your kindness and patience help contrast his bold and brash attitude and keep him out of trouble!
- If you met through real estate, then Joseph most likely approached you after a few months, saving formalities and taking the time to get to know you as you worked together before asking you out. You of course, delightedly accepted, and since then you two have been together! In both this and the prior meeting situation, I imagine you keep constant contact with him if he travels to Egypt, and lets you know he plans to get back to you in one piece!
- If you met on the way to Egypt, then chances are you made fast friends with Joseph! He, like Polnareff, is super friendly! You two got to know each other and shared a lot about your pasts and dreams and such, with him even opening up about Caesar and his own adventures back in the day. You found yourself enthralled in his tales, and he was drawn to your kindness. Hell, by the end of the trip even Jotaro was routing for you two to get together!
- When you two finally began dating his playful teasing and tales were enhanced x10, and it drew you in more! Jotaro was also glad you finally told each other, and found himself taking a liking to you too as the days went by! You make his grandfather happy, so in turn you make Jotaro happy!
- Whether you’ve known Joseph through friends or family, work, or even by chance, he loves you so much!
↳ 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐬/𝐑𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝! ♡
#again I’m so sorry this took so long! I hope the end result came out okay!#jojo’s bizarre adventure#jjba#jojo’s bizarre adventure stardust crusaders#jjba stardust crusaders#jjba part 3#jjba part 3 spoilers#jojo’s bizarre adventure x reader#jjba x reader#noriaki kakyoin#kakyoin x reader#jean pierre polnareff#polnareff x reader#muhammad avdol#avdol x reader#joseph joestar#joseph x reader#jojo’s bizarre adventure headcanons#jjba headcanons
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The Brits Dilemma
” Prompt: Harry & Y/N go to the Brits. It’s the first time they’ve been away from their baby. Y/N is struggling but doesn’t want to ruin the night for her husband.
Word Count: 1.8 k +
Warnings: Depictions of breastfeeding
+++++++
The award show was going well. It was the first time Y/N had been out in nearly three months besides a few brunch dates and grocery shopping.
Usually, she was pretty confident in what she wore to accompany her husband to all of these flashy events - but not tonight.
Her bump had deflated but she was still attempting to get rid of the stubborn pouch that stayed after the baby had been born. It wasn’t anything out of the norm - just still trying to lose it.
She was breastfeeding and her breasts were much larger than before. They felt heavy and too big for her body. Not to mention, they were constantly swollen and achey. Pads were a must so she doesn’t leak through the tight satin black dress.
The dress was a beautiful custom design by Gucci that complimented Harry’s sharp suit but nothing felt right. It was digging into her sides and made it hard for her to sit on her chair.
The Brits were held in the O2 Arena which wasn’t very far from their London home but she felt like she was lightyears away from her baby. Even though she knew Sasha was in good hands with Anne.
Y/N was so proud of Harry for being up for five - yes, five different awards. It was a record for him and she didn’t want to let him down by complaining. It was his night. He’s been such a devote father - he deserved a break too.
So she swallowed down the anxiety she was feeling about being away from their little newborn for the night along with her worries about her changing body.
There was milling about between the tables before the show got started. Harry had people coming up him constantly - congratulating him on the album, the nominations, the baby.
Married life and fatherhood suited him well. A dazzling wedding band on his left ring finger, a necklace with an S for his daughter, along with her name freshly inked on right above his butterfly tattoo.
The open jacket he wore with is his barely buttoned dress shirt displayed it proudly. It was beautiful, done delicately in a timeless cursive. The font match his wife name that was tattooed on his hand.
He couldn’t lie and say he wasn’t excited to have a night out with his wife. He had Jeff booked a hotel for the night to have some alone time with you while his mum got to enjoy a night with her only grandchild.
Y/N was counting down the hours up until tomorrow when she could go home to see her baby. She should really tell Harry that she wants to go home and not out to a club and the hotel.
But the it just slowly starts to deteriorate further when a bald, plump business exec comes to greet the two of you. He gives his warm wishes about the birth of your child before smiling at Y/N and stating, “The baby weight will come off soon enough.”
Her throat closes up a bit and she self-consciously tries to push her chair closer to the table. It was the last thing that she needed to hear. Confirming all of her worst insecurities.
Harry glares at the man before turning to his wife, “Hey, you look s’perfect, my love. I’m so bloody lucky you’re mine.”
He’s truly trying his hardest to bring a smile to her face but he notices it’s never quite meeting her eyes.
It get even worse when Harry gets his first award, male solo artist of the year.
As she’s standing and clapping for him - she realizes she’s beginning to leak through her nipple inserts.
Y/N excuses herself in the middle of his acceptance speech to rush through the string of tables - out into the corridor. The last thing she wanted to do was for it to show up on a very expensive dress.
The echo of his voice can still be heard, “Love to thank my beautiful wife who makes writing sappy love songs easy and was the main inspiration for my recent album. She also just gave birth to our beautiful baby.....”
She feels awful when she tunes him out, finding the bathroom and hurriedly rushing in. There’s a gorgeous woman standing at the sink, washing their hands.
Fucking Taylor Swift.
Any other time it’d be awkward and uncomfortable - running into an ex who wrote multiple songs about her husband.
But she couldn’t careless right now, “Hi, erm, this is really weird but could you unzip my dress? I’m leaking and - shit that was way too much information.”
But Taylor smiles kindly, “No! It’s okay, totally. No worries. Congratulations on your baby - you look so hot tonight.”
Y/N laughs and thanks her for unzipping the dress before going into a stall and locking the door. She slides her bra straps off her shoulders and disposes of the soaked pad in the sanitary bin.
Luckily, she has a clean burp rag that she gently swipes at her breast - wincing as it brushes against her swollen nipples. Even the soft fabric felt too rough on them.
It’s a minute or two before the bathroom door swings open, “Y/N? Lovie? Are you in ‘ere?”
She feels guilt at the panic in his voice. Managing to croak out, “I’m in here,” before leaning forward to unlock the door.
Harry waste no time in sliding into the stall before latching the lock again. Taking in the sight of his wife in front of him.
“I-I started leaking, M’sorry,” Y/N whispers, she has no reason to feel embarrassed but she is. “I missed your speech.”
“None of that, baby. I’ll give more speeches for you to hear - I only care that you’re okay. I’m sorry y’leakin, lemme help you, pet.”
In true Harry fashion, he takes the rag and turns on the sink - running it under warm water before carefully cleaning his wife up.
“Are they botherin’ you? They look irritated and super swollen, darling,” Harry frowns, a very gentle thumb coming to brush against her nipple. Then cupping her swollen breast in his hand, thumb rubbing at the pink skin.
“Just a little bit,” She lies, they’re absolutely on fire with chafing and skin irritation from the bra she’s wearing. She never thought she’d miss her nursing bras and sports bras this much.
He nods and helps place new inserts in her bra. Who’d think this is what Harry would be doing between accepting awards. Everyone unassuming in the arena.
**
Harry has been four for four thus far into the ceremony. They’d only had him go up and give two acceptance speeches. His hand firmly planted on his wife’s thigh throughout.
When he went up for his second award, the camera zooms in and the crowd coos are he plants a kiss on his wife’s lips before pulling her into a hug - whispering something into her ear the audience can’t hear.
He was much more focused on his wife. He could read her fairly well - he’d like to think. Enough to know she’s having much fun. But he didn’t want to bring it up and make her feel bad.
Harry sees the way she keeps adjusting her bra, fidgets with his rings when his hands in his lap, and not even really looking up while one of her favorite artist - Dua Lipa -performs.
Y/N loved a good party before the baby. So Harry was hoping going to the Brits afterparty would make her feel better and then going back to their hotel room for a some alone time.
**
Y/N has been increasingly quiet when they’re exiting the arena after the final award artist of the year - which Harry had also won.
He was on cloud nine and admittedly a little distracted as he joked and laughed with a small group of friends on the way out.
“Alright, should we all just pile into a cab for the ride to the party?” Nick Grimshaw asks everyone.
Everyone is in agreement - including Harry -as he calls to order one - standing in the blocked off area away from fans and paparazzi.
Y/N wants to tell him she wants to go home to Sasha but when she hears him say, “Can’t wait to get to Exhibit - haven’t been there in forever. One of my favorite clubs.”
She bites her tongue. Harry is enjoying his night out - why can’t she?
In the taxi, she’s sat on Harry’s lap as they make their way to the club. His one hand is on her inner thigh and the other is on her waist holding her steady.
In the morning, she’ll blame her post-partum hormones and anxiety. But she doesn’t even realizing her eyes are filling with tears and when she blinks they spill down her face.
She wouldn’t feel as embarrassed if she wasn’t in the car full of literal celebrities who are filled with adrenaline and excitement. Chattering and drinking from little liquor bottles they’d snuck in their jackets and clutches.
“Y/N, are you alright?” Rita Ora asks from her seat - noticing the streaks ruining your makeup.
She nods pathetically, wiping at her eyes but Harry is turning her to face him. His bright green eyes filled with concern as he studies her face.
The previously very obnoxiously loud cab becomes silent as they try to give the couple a semblance of non-existent privacy.
“What’s happening, dove? Are you hurting?” Harry panics, coming to wipe the smeared makeup away.
“I don’t want to go to the club,” Y/N sniffles, squeezing her eyes shut at how embarrassed she is of her behavior. She would usually never act this way - especially in public. And Harry knows that so it makes him even more concerned.
“That’s okay, pet. We can go have a night in, when the cab stops - we can uber back to the hotel,” Harry soothes, surprised when that brings on fresh tears.
“N-no, I want to go home. I miss the baby, I want to- need to see our baby. I-I can’t do this. My anxiety is through the roof, Harry. What if she can’t sleep? Or isn’t taking the bottle?”
“Baby, breathe, breathe. We can go home. I miss the bub terribly too. Have been worried about her all night.”
Harry tugs his wife into his chest further - tucking her head into his neck as he shoots his friends grateful looks. They all nod, sympathetic and understanding - despite them not having kids of their own.
**
“I ruined your night,” Y/N says softly in the back of the uber home. “I leaked during the show; cried in front of all your friends.”
Harry takes her chin gentle but firm until she meets his gaze, “You didn’t ruin anything f’me. All I care about is you and the baby - not some stupid award ceremony or party.”
He continues on, “You just gave us Sasha three months ago - y’bloody amazing. Best mum, best wife. Sexiest too - know you don’t think that right now but your body literally grew my baby. I get a hard-on everytime I see you.”
They both laugh, Y/N leaning forward to capture her husbands lips in a meaningful kiss of gratitude and thanks.
**
Anne smiles kindly when the two of them arrive home. A very fussy, red-faced swaddled baby coddled in her arms.
“She hasn’t settled for quite a while now - she missed her parents very much,” Harry’s mum tells them, transferring her into her father’s arms. He’s automatically rocking and running his thumb over her cheek.
“Ooh, we missed you. Was Nana nice to you?” Harry coos. Sasha has already quieted and is blinking tearfully up at her smiling father.
“Such a good girl, best girl,” Y/N sighs, leaning in to kiss her downy hair. Harry’s hand coming to wrap around his wife’s waist as they peer down at their perfect little daughter.
Anne smiles at his son and daughter-in-law fawning over their little creation with so much love and adoration.
After a minute of chatting -Harry’s mum makes her way up to the guest room after a long night with a miserable baby. They make their way to their room where Y/N strips out of her tight dress and awful bra.
She sits against the headboard in just a pair of soft cotton panties. Harry is gently shushing her and humming a melody as his wife gets situated. He knew she was anxious to feed the baby.
“That’s it my sweet thing. Y’missed us, hm? We missed you too, bub. Nana said y’wouldn’t take the bottle. Only want your mumma, hmm?” Harry coos, kissing her chubby cheeks.
He’s then giving Y/N the baby, who ferociously latching within seconds and begins eating like she’d been starved for the last week. Making weak little rumbles as she does so.
They both giggle fondly, Y/Ns fingers come to touch her fluttering cheek - memorizing her over and over again.
Harry gets onto the bed and settles next to the both of them. Watching his baby feed in amazement at what his wife was capable of. He smears a few kisses against her bare shoulder - hand on his baby’s back.
How strong she was - as he knew it had to be at least a little bit painful with how irritated her nipples had been. He can tell when she winces every once in a while.
He plants a few more kisses to her warm skin - noticing her eyes getting a bit droopy as Sasha feeds at a slow, suckling pace.
“If I’m being honest, being with you - watching you feed our baby...I’d rather be here than at any club.”
Y/N snorts, rolling her eyes, “Sure.”
Her husband frowns, “M’serious, this is all I need, baby.”
“I love you, congratulation on all your Brits,” Y/N murmurs, pecking at his lips.
“I love you too. I meant it, during my speeches. I wouldn’t have been able to write those songs if you hadn’t inspired me. You’ll and the bab will always be the best muse.”
#Harry Styles#harrystylesfanfic#harry styles writing#harry styles drabble#harry styles x reader#harry styles x y/n#harry styles x you#dad!harry#dad harry styles#husband!harry#husband harry styles#fic recommendation#harry styles fic rec#harry styles masterlist#harry styles writing request#harry styles request#harry styles reader#requests open!
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Atsumu dating Kita's younger sister (their manager). That's it. That's the request. Hope you like this prompt 🤞😅
Dating your brothers teammate (Atsumu)
Part One Part Two Part Three
Word count: 1.6K
Genre: angst, fluff
ATSUMU
You and Atsumu started dating a month after Kita introduced you in your first year
You’re now in your second year and still going strong
However, no ones knows about your relationship since Atsumu said you being the manager and him being the setter it will affect the team dynamic?
You start the day off, seeing a message from your boyfriend,
‘Tsumu: Mornning babe, can’t wait to see you today!
You don’t respond, you are Atsumu have been at odds for the past few weeks as you feel like you guys should make your relationship public. Not even public per se, but you definitely feel it shouldn’t be hidden away especially with it being nearly two years of you being together.
Of course, Atsumu disagreed. He felt like at this moment you and him revealing your relationship to the team will just mess up the ‘dynamics’ or whatever that’s supposed to mean.
You get ready for school eating the breakfast your grandma made you and conversing with her and Kita before you both headed off to school together meeting Aran on the way.
You had an early morning practice and you didn’t mind it. To be honest, you love being around the team you were all a little family, you having a good relationship with all the guys.
This morning, the guys were all practicing different sorts of skills Kita was helping some of the gives with dives and receives and the rest doing other things. You were helping Osamu, Suna and Atsumu with there serves.
Regardless of your public or private relationship status with Atsumu, you the twins and Suna were all good friends. You did have a slight inclination that Osamu and Suna knew of the relationship with you and Suna but just didn’t bring it up.
At the end of practice, the usual fan club was there waiting for the twins and the other guys to flirt and talk with them. As you are their manager, you did get some slight hate and jealousy from the other girls in your year but you didn’t pay no mind to it.
When leaving practice, Atsumu (who usually walks with you to your class) gets stopped by a girl who seems to have something important to say so you politely step to the side (still in ear shot though.)
“Miya-san” she said a bit nervous as her finger were shaking “I have this letter I would like for you to read.”
He took the letter and said “Thank you, and you can just call me Atsumu” he smile at her.
“Thank you Atsumu, I hope to hear a response to you soon” she says about to walk away “Also, just to clarify you are single right?”
“Yes yes of course” he assures quickly making you annoyed “Why did you ask?”
“I assumed you were dating your manager, you seem pretty close”
“Oh her” he laughs and you already start to walk to your lesson leaving him behind “we’re just friends”
This makes the girl smile as she leaves, Atsumu turns to where you were standing shocked that you were completely vanished. He did think back to the conversation you had a week ago about your relationship status which did make him kind of sad for you since he did understand your reasoning he just wanted to you atleast wait it out till nationals is done.
He finds you at lunch, and to him it seems you don’t have a problem with him at all as you were being your usual smiley self interacting with him and all of your friends. So he assumed everything was fine (which it wasn’t of course.)
The next day at practice, when it ended the same girl came back again this time with friends and instead of approaching Atsumu they decided to approach you.
“Hi you’re the manager right?” one of them asks.
“Yup I have been for the past couple years.” you say
“Oh and you’re definitely not dating any of the guys on the team right?”
“I don’t see why it’s any of your business, but no i’m not.” it pained you to say this but you did agree with Atsumu to say you weren’t dating to people and as much as it pained you to say this you couldn’t break your ‘agreement.’
Once the girls leave, you start to softly cry because you don’t want to have to hide your relationship anymore. Atsumu enters the corridor and sees you upset and rushes towards you, “Hey babe what’s wrong with you?” he asks
“Nothing ‘tsumu just go back to practice” you murmur
“No i’m not going until you tell me whats wrong?”
“it’s just that girl that confessed to you yesterday and her friends approached me about if I was dating anyone and i-”
“what did you say, he told them no right?” he interrupts
“Is that all you care about? Wether I keep our relationship secret or not ..” you say slightly raising your voice
“Well I would appreciate if you don’t go round telling the world that you’re dating me gosh Y/N” he shouts a bit
“I’m not even fucking doing that, I havent told a soul and that’s all because of YOU”
You’re screaming match has alerted the team (who you didn’t notice) and they all stood around you watching before Kita steps in “Y/N are you okay??”
“yeah i’m fine bro” you say preparing to leave with tears still in your eyes “I just got into an argument with a friend”
Before you leave the corridor you look back at Atsumu and catch all the guys attention when you say “Also Atsumu, happy anniversay ‘babe’”
“I KNEW IT!” shouts Osamu but Suna nudges him telling him to ‘read the room.’ Kita slowly approaches Atsumu and punches him in the face “I don’t care what you did but you made my sister cry so you better go fix it you dick”
Atsumu nodded and clutched his face, “Also I think it was pretty evident that you guys were dating.”
“Wait they were dating?” said Aran
You were in your room, scrolling through old pictures of you and Atsumu and looking at the presents he was going to give him for your anniversary still crying. You hear a knock on your door “Granny, I’m not hungry right now” you shout. But the door opens anyways “Granny I said I wasn-” you pause when you see a bruised Atsumu ‘Kita’ you think making yourself smile at the thought of your brother coming to your defence.
“Y/N, i’m sorry baby for trying to hide our relationship and not seeing how wrong it was until it was knocked into me... literally” he says cautiously sitting on your bed “ I’ve always wanted to be able to show off to the world but I just couldn’t cause I thought Kita would be mad and I genuinely thought it would mess up the team dynamic, however I’d rather have Kita be mad at me and the team loosing nationals if it meant getting to date you”
His words make you swoon and to add on to your fawning he whips out a wrapped up box giving it to you. When you open it, you see it’s a necklace with both your initials on it “ Happy anniversay babe, this has been one of the best years of my life.”
You silently hand him your presents, murmuring a quiet “Happy anniversary.” After seeing your presents, he gives you a big deep hug whispering mutiple thank yous and compliments into your neck making you smile.
“So does this mean we’re in a public relationship? right?” you ask making sure you were on the same page.
“Of course!” he exclaims “Also check your phone”
You look down at your phone seeing a bunch of notifications all tagging you in one post that was from Atsumu on instagram. It was 8 pictures of him and you and a caption that read *insert long romantic sappy paragraph that I’m too lazy too write since its 3 am :3*
Your heart was overwhelmed with love for Atsumu, you spent the rest of your night cuddling and watching movies and before you went to sleep you told him you loved him.
Waking up the next morning, you thought it was all a dream to be honest. Because there was no way that Atsumu did all that right? You go downstairs and are shocked at the sight you see, Atsumu and Kita both sitting down eating breakfast together “What are you doing with my boyfr-” you stop yourself from finishing that sentence,
“Its okay Y/N you can say boyfriend, I have given your boyfriend the talk I just had to make sure that he knows that if he was ever to lay a finger on you that he would definitely get a bi-”
“Ughh nii-chan you’re being so embarrasing” you say pulling Atsumu back upstairs hearing Kita’s laughter in the backround.
You and Atsumu, stay together and it wasn’t much of a suprise when your relationship was public to the rest of the school and that girl that wanted Atsumu she ended up with Osamu anyways (it does makes sense since they do have the same face afterall.) Kita enjoys his days embarassing the both of you whenever you’re at your house. But you don’t care since you can finally show off to the world how great your boyfriend is.
Authors Notes: I don’t know if you wanted it to have angst in it but I hope you enjoy? Might make this a series so if you want anymore characters Request them and I’ll write for them too
#haikyu#haikyu angst#haikyu fluff#haikyuu x reader comfort#haikyu headcanons#haikyuu-fluff#haikyu x reader#haikyu scenarios#haikyuu scenarios#haikyuu x reader#atsumu scenarios#atsumu x you#atsumu angst#atsumu x reader#atsumu fluff#atsumu headcanons#signedwithane😌
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ok. samwell college of music au. i wrote all four years let's go babey
eric bittle is this lovely southern tenor (sounds kinda like mitch grassi or ben j pierce) who posts covers (& sometimes originals, but always with neutral or no pronouns because he can't post anything that says he or him ☹) on his youtube channel and has major stage fright but is very talented; he also plays ukulele
he got into samwell college of music on a voice scholarship and his dad doesn’t exactly approve but eric was never the 6′2″ masculine football player he wanted anyway so why not go for his dreams
he auditions for the very competitive samwell men’s contemporary chorus (there’s like 20 choirs; chamber choir, jazz choir, a cappella groups (lax bros do a cappella), combined choirs, etc- smcc does contemporary pop/rock music) and while he’s very very nervous and shaky as he auditions, directors hall & murray see a lot of potential in him (with major grumbling from student director jack)
(the rest of this ridiculously long au under the cut)
the group is small, for a chorus, because the point of the group is not a wall of sound but a focus on all of the very talented guys’ voices coming together in these gorgeous harmonies and basically they’re like one of the best choruses on campus and all the male singers want in
so there’s jack zimmermann, who of course eric knows because everyone knows who he is, he’s the son of bob and alicia zimmermann, both incredibly talented and famous musicians, and basically those genes were in his favor because he’s mega fucking talented
(jack was supposed to sign a recording contract to be in a band with his best friend kent parson when he was 17 but something happened between them and the pressure was too much and jack overdosed on something- there’s so many rumors no one knows what’s real- and kent signed solo in LA & went on to win grammys for his albums about a mysterious ex and jack disappeared for a few years to be a counselor at a music camp and reappears at samwell, knocking everyone’s socks off again like he’d never left, except with a renewed vigor and intenseness that freaks everyone out)
jack is a contemporary writing & production major, freaky talented and sings like a modern day frank sinatra, and he plays like 20 instruments and can read music like breathing air and writes songs like if he stopped he’d die; his music is folksy and mournful and he plays all the instruments on his tracks himself- guitar, piano, strings, drums- it sounds like a full band but nope. just jack. he’s intense
“we all get nicknames in this choir,” justin informs eric on his first day, “we’re those kinda guys.” so he’s bitty, which he finds vaguely offensive (bc he’s not that short!) but still cute, & the rest of the group is introduced to him:
“shitty” knight (voice like colyer) is a musical education major and an enigma of a singer with this awesome, earthy, raspy voice that’s really interesting to listen to and a very.... unique style & look; he writes cheesy but shockingly good raps about social justice topics and he will sing-lecture you if you’ve said something offensive (he also plays banjo)
justin “ransom” oluransi is a music business & management major with an angelic voice you can’t help but listen to; he’s sultry and has an incredible range and does runs like nobody’s business (with a voice like daniel caesar or leslie odom jr UGH)
adam “holster” birkholtz is a voice performance major, wants to be on broadway and it’s all he ever goddamn talks about basically, he’s a belter and has a lot of charisma and starpower and he’ll charm the pants off of you within one note; can also play piano and irritates everyone constantly because his regular volume is like a level 11 (voice like the frontman of my brothers and i combined w/ x ambassadors lead singer)
larissa “lardo” duan is at the local art institute because performing arts is not her jam and she’d much rather paint; she’s a barista at annie’s and supervises open mic nights and keeps the annoying choir dudes from driving away all her patrons
“i’m not even in your dumbass choir,” she says when the group gave her her nickname. holster just told her that she was an honorary member and then started sing-shouting a song at her about how good she is
bitty’s first year is hard because he’s talented and he works hard but he shies away when anyone asks him to sing outside the group and like, he can sing to a camera by himself but being on a stage with everyone looking at you and the sole responsibility of the song on your shoulders is terrifying and no thanks
jack does not. understand this. he’s been performing practically since he came out of the womb and he doesn’t really get performance nerves (what he gets is anxiety about how he did after he gets off stage that follows him home and makes it so he can’t sleep) - so he bothers bitty about it constantly like “you just need practice, you just have to sing by yourself a lot and then you’ll get over it” which like.... that’s true but it’s also hella scary and bitty’s like “no thanks!!!!”
but jack’s annoying and intense so he makes bitty do open mic with him every saturday night and it’s going okay and bitty loves his choir and loves his school and these new friends he’s making and he finally feels comfortable enough to come out to them during his second term
then during their spring choral showcase at the end of his freshman year bitty has a solo and he’s worked really hard on it and he’s feeling good- okay he’s completely freaked out but he’s trying to feel good- but when he gets up on stage there’s so many people and the stage lights are so hot on his face and he flips out a little and maybe he passes out from anxiety and stress right on stage and it’s terrible and he’s so embarrassed and ashamed that he ruined their set at the showcase
of course jack blames himself because “we shouldn’t have given you a solo before you were ready, i misjudged it, i’m sorry” - and they all feel kinda bad bc holy fuck they didn’t know his stage fright was that bad like they didn’t know someone could pass out just by being anxious to sing
he practices all the time over the summer and goes to his local open mic at jack’s insistence and it actually helps a lot because instead of a sea of strangers judging him it’s a bunch of people he knows and they’re all smiling at him and when he finishes his song they cheer for him and it boosts his self-confidence a lot
his sophomore year they have three new members- chris ”chowder” chow (voice like ieuan), an excitable music education major with impressive rapping skills, derek "nursey" nurse (frank ocean or leon bridges type), a songwriting major who can also play violin and guitar, and will ”dex” poindexter (like tom west), a production & engineering major who tried out with chowder bc he needed moral support and didn't expect to get in but impressed the directors with his voice
the year’s going pretty good, bitty’s still pretty scared of singing alone but more confident now and the open mic nights with jack haven’t stopped, so he’s getting better. and one night they’re hanging out at annie’s after closing waiting for lardo to be done so they can walk her home, and bitty suggests that jack sing with him one of these nights, and jack says he doesn’t know any of bitty’s songs and bitty says they can write one together half jokingly but then jack is like “yes.” with that Intense Look
SO they get together a couple days later in jack’s room at the house they all live in together (bitty moved in at the beginning of the year after previous smcc member john johnson called him- how’d he get his number?- and told him he could take his room if he wanted), jack with his guitar and bitty with his ukulele, and it’s a little awkward until bitty says jack should play him one of his songs
and, okay, he doesn’t really know what to expect because the only music jack ever released to the public was that one single he did with kent parson when they were 17 so bitty doesn’t even know if he has anything to play him, but he does- he starts playing these soft, sad notes on the guitar and opens his mouth and sings about being lonely and scared and unsure, about false starts and shaky ground and not knowing where you stand with someone, about expectations and lying awake at night and wishing so hard you were someone else, and bitty watches him sing and just kind of... realizes he’s head over heels for this boy and internally Freaks Out a little
he tries to put that aside and they start to write this song, at first it’s weird because jack’s like “all your songs are love songs i can’t really relate to happy love songs” and bitty’s like “listen... i’ve never even had a boyfriend i just write a bunch of sappy love stuff because it’s not about me it’s about whoever’s listening to it, they’re gonna project their own experiences on my music anyway so it doesn’t matter if it’s my real life or not” and jack’s like “alright while fake af that’s smart and i respect you” (what bitty doesn't say is that he writes about what he really wants which is to fall in love & be in a happy relationship)
they say they’re just gonna write this kinda vague sad song but they both secretly write lines about their actual lives so it ends up being really personal and real and raw for the both of them
they sing the song at open mic that saturday and the crowd at annie’s is never that big but they’ve never got a standing ovation here before, and some girl shouts “MAKE AN ALBUM” (it may or may not be lardo) and they both blush furiously and bitty’s like “... that was really nice, jack” and jack’s like “... yeah it was good good job you’re really getting some confidence out there nice work” (bitty: “THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT AAAAH”)
around this time jack’s really thinking about what he’s gonna do when he’s done at samwell, talking with his parents and his agent and looking into different record companies and deciding if he wants to sign with anyone or possibly start his own company- the head of a small company called falcon records in rhode island has been talking to him a lot, and jack talks to bitty about how he thinks it’d be nice to start small, and the record exec georgia and the producer marty had both been really nice and welcoming, and bitty’s so happy for him but also just... sad that he won’t be around jack every day after he graduates
THEN at a haus party celebrating their win of a local choral competition, who shows up but none other than pop star kent parson to Ruin The Fun
bitty sees the way jack pales when kent walks in, notices them disappear upstairs together and feels a little sick worrying about jack but chalks it up to the highly alcoholic concoction shitty and lardo had cooked up but nonetheless decides he’s sick of the party and goes up to his room and hears.... a little too much
and YIKES he’s standing right there and kent parson, pop star, two-time grammy winner, is looking a little rumpled and staring right at him and he puts his hat on and clears his throat and snaps at jack- “hey. well. call me if you reconsider. but good luck with rhode island. ...i’m sure that’ll make your parents proud.” and jack’s shaking, and bitty doesn’t know what to do but jack goes back into his room and bitty’s just kind of standing there like What The Fuck
so.... he kind of stews over winter break but tries not to think about it too much and he and jack text a bit and jack tells him to practice and bitty’s like “oh, you” and jack’s like “im serious” and bitty’s like “>:( it’s christmas”
spring semester starts and they're doing well in competitions and they go to semifinals and then finals for a prestigious collegiate choir competition and the pressure is mounting but they all are so optimistic and really feel like they're on the same page and bitty’s confidence is better than ever and then.... they don't win
jack especially takes it very hard, but then he also has signing to worry about, which everyone helps him with and he decides to sign with falcon records and start work on an album after graduation
speaking of graduation, shitty and jack graduate and it's hard for them but harder for bitty who feels like he's losing jack in a way, he knows how intense jack gets when he's making music and it doesn't feel like he'll have any time for bitty anymore so when they say goodbye bitty goes back to the haus and listens to his and jack's song and just cries
but, like in canon, dadbob has words of wisdom to impart and jack has an "oh" moment and races across campus to kiss bitty
they get together and the next few months are spent with jack working nonstop on his album (which tbh, he'd had many of the songs written already so it's mostly recording and producing) and texting bitty constantly and coming to visit him and playing him demos of all the songs
jack also asks bitty if they can record the song they wrote together & have it as a bonus track on his album & bitty says of course, so when jack visits they set up an impromptu studio and record vocals in the guest bedroom and this deeply personal song they wrote before they were ever together means so much more to them now
and bitty is so happy but so scared and sad too because jack is playing him these songs telling him "they're all for you bits, & a lot of them are about you" and he just doesn't know how he's going to keep all this love inside even though it feels like jack's career is at stake
he tries to shove it down and stay strong though, especially since he's now an upperclassman and they're taking on new members- connor "whiskey" whisk (voice like finneas or the male singer in valley), a music business/ management major who seems to hate bitty's guts and tony "tango" tangredi (like chaz cardigan), a jazz composition major who astounds everybody with his endless questions but also his ridiculously impressive composition skills & naturally perfect pitch (he can also play saxophone??)
i want ford in this au so fuck it she is a composition major with dreams to write scores for musicals and she stars training as a barista at annie's (aka training to corral the smcc)
the pressure of it all proves to be a lot and bitty and jack have their hi, honey moment where bitty's like i can't be this deep in the closet!!! and so they tell the smcc and also jack's label that they're together and that eases things a bit
jack's album comes out to much critical acclaim and shouting in the groupchat ("#1 ON ITUNES BRAHHHHH!!!!!!!!") and several months later, when smcc has already been eliminated from choral competition in an earlier round, jack is nominated for SEVERAL grammys including best album, song of the year, and best new artist
when the time comes he takes his parents and bitty on the red carpet which, everyone keeps being like "who are you here with jack?" and he's like "my family and my good friend :)" and yes it is awkward
jack wins... all three awards. it's the comeback everyone is stoked to see and when his third win is announced, he and bitty are so elated that they kiss before he goes to accept the award
his speech is basically just "um... wow. thank you. i just kissed my boyfriend on live tv. this is amazing and i'm so humbled. i'd like to thank my boyfriend and georgia and marty and my parents and my friends and my boyfriend"
obviously the press has a FIELD DAY with this but bitty & jack are honestly vibing and so happy that it doesn't matter untiiiillll bitty's mom calls and he has to tell her "mama i'm gay and i'm going on tour with jack this summer okloveyoubye"
the last few months of bitty's junior year pass quickly and he's voted student director which is a huge honor considering how much he struggled with stage fright and confidence & how he'll now be stepping into ransom & holster's shoes
r&h and lardo all graduate (the smcc basically crashes the art school graduation and all scream when lardo gets her diploma lmao), which is a bittersweet occasion and they all do a bit of tearing up
that summer bitty goes on tour across the u.s. & canada with jack and his touring band (snowy is a bassist, tater is a drummer and poots does backing guitar, he also brings nursey to play violin on a few songs) as well as georgia who's there to manage logistics
and tour is so fun & chaotic with many bi and rainbow flags in the audience that end up thrown on stage and draped around jack's neck and they spend so many nights in the bus drinking and laughing and fooling around on the guitars and bitty's uke and exploring new cities bitty has never been to before and it's the freest bitty has felt in a long time
summer ends though, and jack leaves for the uk/europe leg of the tour, and with the new school year brings a few new members- river "bully" bullard (voice like gregory alan isakov), a music therapy major who draws his own cover art for his songs, lukas "louis" landmann (like jr jr), an electronic production and design major with a penchant for EDM, and johnathan "hops" hopper (like keiynan lonsdale), a film scoring major who wants to write music for movies and video games
bitty meets and befriends some of the other student directors- shruti, sd of the women’s contemporary chorus; sharon, sd of the chamber choir; and edgar, sd of jazz ensemble (even chad l., sd of the all-male a cappella group)
senior year passes similarly to the comic; coach visits and sees one of bitty’s competitions, jack comes to madison for christmas, smcc does well in competition and goes to regionals etc
however… bitty keeps putting off and putting off gathering the songs for his senior recital
he has a hard time doing that because he’s so focused on the group and making sure they’re performing well and as they advance in competition, everything else starts to fall away
eventually the rest of the smcc has to lock away his uke and change his youtube password and FORCE him to choose songs for it and start preparing because he cannot graduate without doing this recital and doing well on it
he chooses (of course) a beyonce song, a few of his own songs, an ellie goulding song, and an adele song
with all that his breath hitches and his hands shake before he goes on stage, he does really well and his voice instructor prof atley tears up a little in the audience as does his mom
meanwhile smcc goes to semifinals, then finals, of the national collegiate choral competition they participate in
and i imagine bitty faces somewhat less homophobia in this au because i mean, he’s in the performing arts, but i think it’s still there and he also faces a good amount of classism from richer students and performers who think they’re better because they had the resources and money to be performing professionally from a very young age, and he has been practicing via filming himself on a shitty camcorder and posting it to youtube
but they still get there! and the national finals are fucking HUGE and a big deal and a little overwhelming
bitty’s stage fright is Present because this is the biggest stage and the biggest stakes he's ever had and he has a big solo in one of their songs so if he fucks up, he fucks up a national championship for his whole group and school
luckily though, when he steps on the stage with his best friends and sees his boyfriend and family and smcc alums in the audience and they perform their first song, a high-energy pop medley that always gets the crowd going, everything seems to melt away and it's just him living in this moment and singing his heart out
when it gets to the next song and his solo, he forgets to be nervous and belts it out, getting screams of approval from the audience when he finishes
(dex and nursey do have a duet together that they had to practice for many long nights in the practice rooms alone but that's neither here nor there)
their time on stage seems to last both hours and no time at all and then they're done, the crowd gives them a standing ovation and it's at least 30% r&h & shitty's hooting and hollering and jack's enthusiastic clapping that makes bitty & the others beam with pride
then it's just waiting, giddy and nervous beyond belief in their green room, for the judging to be over
after what feels like forever they're back on stage, arms linked together waiting and hoping for their name to be called and it is, they win and it feels like years have built up to this moment, and bitty tears up because years ago when he was fainting from anxiety at having to perform in front of people he never could've imagined that he'd do this, that he'd be the student director that led them to a championship
they get the trophy and a ridiculous amount of flowers from their loved ones and they all are just in giddy disbelief that this is happening, they're national champs!!! they are the best choir boys in the nation!!
they come home and the rest of the school year passes by so quickly that it's very suddenly graduation and bitty can't believe his college career at samwell is over 😢
(he and ollie and wicky take pictures together, o&w talk about how excited they are to devote full time attention to their band & wedding planning and bitty's just like wait you're gay??)
bitty got plenty of offers from record companies but he likes his freedom of creativity and he has a built in fanbase from doing youtube all these years so he decides to make an album independently (jack helps him produce & master it 🥰)
when bitty's album comes out about a year later, full of bops about being gay and in love and having struggled but come out the other side more confident than ever, it doesn't get any grammy nominations- and he didn't expect or need that.
what it does do is it resonates. it makes the rounds in youtube and queer internet circles; people his age reach out to him saying this is the music they wish they had as a kid and kids reach out to him saying he's a role model and they're so glad to have his music to listen to. his album is written about as an underrated gem that shines with queer brilliance and is sure to start a party when it comes on.
his parents may not fully understand the road he's chosen for himself but they're still so proud and promote the album as hard as any of his loyal fans (especially the one country-inspired song on the album that he wrote and dedicated to them).
and jack, jack who saw this album from its infancy to its release date, who took the film photo that ended up being the album cover, who worked with bitty to make sure his vision was realized exactly how he wanted it to be, is proud beyond words.
jack starts using his semi-abandoned twitter again to tweet "stream [album name]" every day and bitty retweets them sometimes, with just a "this boy. ❤"
and they're happy. they're good. they have come so far and they are reaping the rewards of all the hard work they put in to make the music that they truly love.
the end :)
#check please#omgcp#samwell college of music au#mine#my writing#eric bittle#jack zimmermann#omgcp fic#check please fic#zimbits#uhh idk what else to tag#this fucking thing is like 4.1k words i'm-#i hope you enjoy it (and reblog it!) bc i've been working on this for literal years#i know i'll never actually write it as a longform fic so here's a bullet pt fic instead#pls let me know your thoughts i have so many things to say about this au
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Hey congrats on 900 followers! Would I be able to request the touch starved prompt from your list with the pairing Aiden/Lambert please? Love all your writing!
Hello!! Thanks for requesting this prompt and this pairing! I’ve been on a right Lambden kick recently, so I felt inspired. I hope you like it!
Prompt 13: Touch-Starved
Pairing: Aiden x Lambert
Warnings: None
Prompt List
Lambert was apprehensive about many things concerning Aiden when the two started travelling together. Being stabbed to death in his sleep comes to mind, or having Aiden go all batshit crazy if Lambert dared to beat him at Gwent. Lambert has heard many rumours about Cat witchers in his long life. Cats are batshit crazy. Cats are emotionally volatile. Cats are backstabbing sons of bitches… literally and metaphorically. Cats are bad. Cats are evil, etc, etc. All these rumours circulated in Kaer Morhen long before Lambert even set foot in that ramshackle castle. He was too young to have witnessed the Tournament, but he heard the older witchers talk. Later in his life, when only a handful of wolf witchers were left after the sacking, Eskel gave Lambert a more detailed account of the Tournament.
“The Cats betrayed us, went on a rampage. Killed many wolf witchers in the process. Geralt and I lost many friends that day,” Eskel told him one evening, when the oldest surviving wolf was too far in his cup to notice that he was oversharing. “Radowit’s court mage Astrogarus promised the Cats monopoly on killing monsters within Kaedwen in exchange for attacking the Wolves during the tournament. Turns out Radowit was a backstabbing motherfucker himself. He ordered his soldiers to shoot all of the remaining witchers of both schools in the arena.”
“Lemme guess,” Lambert spoke, his own speech slightly slurred, “pretty boy saved the day?”
Eskel shook his head. “Fled. Mousesack helped him escape the massacre. Poor bastard never forgave himself for abandonin’ our brothers, but what choice did he have?”
Don’t get Lambert wrong. He’s not saying that Aiden is harmless, far from it. The guy’s lethal with his swords, deadly with a pair of daggers, not to mention a stealthy and clever thief. Aiden is mercurial, hot-tempered and a bit feral when he wants to be, and his morals are at best dubious. Whereas wolf witchers had their emotions beaten out of them at a young age, cat witchers feel too much, too strongly. Lambert’s witnessed Aiden flip tables when peasants beat him at Gwent, but he’s also witnessed the Cat shed a tear after bringing the news to a mother that her son did not survive the ghoul attack two villages down the road.
Lambert was apprehensive about many things concerning Aiden when the two started travelling together, but the Cat had never ceased to surprise him. The most unexpected trait Aiden has displayed to date is his insatiable need for physical contact. It’s not like Lambert hates being touched - he’s only human, albeit a mutated one, but still human. He enjoys a hug as much as the next person, especially when said hug comes from one of his brothers (or, dare he say, Vesemir) at the end of a long and difficult year on the Path. Lambert has also never begrudged a bed partner a post-coital cuddle session. Aiden’s need for physical contact is… on a whole different level.
The first time it happened, Lambert almost shoved the Cat off him and sent him packing, until he realised that Aiden was not only hugging him, but clinging onto him. His sharp nails were digging in the soft material of Lambert’s shirt, the fabric creaking in protest under the firm grip. When Lambert looked down, he noticed the pinched eyebrows and tears trailing down Aiden’s face. It wasn’t until a broken sob pushed past the Cat’s lips that Lambert reluctantly returned the embrace, arms wound tightly around Aiden’s trembling body. Aiden eventually settled in the safety of Lambert’s arms, his features softening as he sank back into a peaceful slumber.
Neither mentioned the previous evening’s impromptu cuddling session, but from that moment one, it was like someone had flicked a switch. Aiden came up with every possible fucking excuse to touch Lambert. Their hands would always accidentally graze each other when they packed up camp, or tacked up the horses. Aiden would bump shoulders with him when they were travelling on foot. If they sat next to one another in a tavern, Aiden would press his leg against Lambert’s, and if they were facing each other, a tentative foot would gently nudge Lambert’s shin and linger there. It’s not like Aiden was trying to hide his intentions, either. They rarely paid for two rooms anymore, because even if they did, Aiden would always end up in Lambert’s bed anyway, arms wound around Lambert’s body like a koala clinging to its mother.
Lambert doesn’t hate Aiden’s need for physical proximity, he’s just… confused by it. Aiden rarely takes any lovers to bed, even though he clearly craves physical intimacy. Lambert is more than happy to cuddle with Aiden, especially when they are forced to sleep under the stars and the early autumn frosts begin to settle over the region. It saves them from lighting a campfire, which may attract the wrong kind of attention to them. That’s all that’s ever transpired between the two, though… cuddling. Lambert enjoys the cuddling as much as Aiden does, but for Aiden it seems to be about more than mere enjoyment. The Cat simply refuses to go without physical intimacy which at times can be… alright, it can feel overbearing, but Lambert’s not about to complain, not when most humans turn away from him in disgust and contempt when he tries to chat them up.
Over the course of the next few weeks, Aiden almost develops a form of separation anxiety. He refuses to let Lambert out of his sight, going so far as to follow the man everywhere, and that’s the moment when Lambert snaps.
“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” he asks, his tone hiding none of the irritation he feels at being tailed by this overgrown tomcat. Aiden stops dead in his tracks, his eyes growing wide at Lambert’s words.
“Huh?”
“You’ve been following me since this morning… I have errands to run and it’s hard to do that when you’re breathing down my neck!”
Lambert instantly regrets his words the minute they leave his mouth. Aiden’s shoulders visibly sag at Lambert’s comment, his content expression melting into something sadder and the sight tugs at the wolf’s heartstrings in all the wrong ways. Aiden averts Lambert’s eyes shyly, the tip of his ears turning a pretty shade of pink as embarrassment washes over him. Lambert heaves a sigh. Way to act like a fucking dick.
“Sorry, Aiden. I… I didn’t mean to sound like an ass, but-”
“It’s alright, I… I knew this moment would come eventually.”
“What are you talking about?” Lambert asks, a confused frown etched on his face. Aiden doesn’t look at him when he replies in a voice far too small to belong to the lethal, cocky witcher Lambert has come to know over the past few months.
“You’re gonna ask me to leave for good. I get it. I… I’ll go back to the room and pack my things.”
As Aiden turns around to leave, Lambert’s hand shoots out and grabs a hold of Aiden’s wrist. Before Lambert’s brain has a chance to catch up, he finds himself pulling Aiden into a nearby alley, away from prying eyes of judgemental humans meandering the stalls of the midweek market. Aiden looks so unsure now, so vulnerable like this, and it makes Lambert want to wrap the Cat up in warm blankets and cuddle him and forget the world for a while. Instead, he settles on pressing Aiden’s back against the wall and draping himself around the Cat witcher as much as he can.
“That’s not what I meant,” Lambert breathes in the air pocket between them as he locks eyes with Aiden, “you’ve just been… especially clingy recently. Are you sure you’re alright?”
Aiden averts his eyes once again, but Lambert is quick to grip the other man’s chin and force Aiden to meet his gaze. Even that simple touch pulls a small hiss from Aiden, whose eyes flutter shut as he relishes in the feeling of Lambert touching him anywhere. Lambert purses his lips, eager for an answer.
“Aiden-”
“Winter is around the corner,” Aiden whispers, his tongue darting out to lick his suddenly dry lips. Lambert’s frown deepens.
“And?”
His question is met with a pointed eye roll from Aiden.
“And… wolves return to their dens for winter, don’t they? I was just… enjoying the last few weeks in your company before you leave and never come back.”
As the final piece of the puzzle slots into place, understanding dawns on Lambert. He pulls away from Aiden and the small whimper the loss of contact triggers does not go unnoticed. Something old and fragile aches in Lambert’s chest as the meaning of Aiden’s words sink in. Aiden isn’t just worried about being separated from Lambert for a few months, but he’s worried that Lambert will never come back.The wolf links his fingers with his Cat’s, squeezing softly as he leans into Aiden’s space and rubs his bearded cheek against Aiden’s jawline. The latter quickly melts under the soft ministrations, the soft content rumble deepening into a continuous purr as Lambert nuzzles the crook of Aiden’s neck.
“Why didn’t you say something sooner?”
“Yeah, right,” Aiden snorts in response, “cause you’re so good with feelings and shit.”
“Not everyone’s a sappy sentimental bitch like you are,” Lambert teases gently, earning himself a half-hearted slap up the back of the head. “I don’t have to go back to Kaer Morhen this winter.”
Aiden tenses, his soft purring stopping abruptly as he takes in Lambert’s words. Lambert continues to rub his cheek against Aiden’s jaw, his neck, his cheek… wherever he can reach, the action meant to soothe the brewing storm in Aiden’s mind.
“It’s your home,” Aiden offers weakly, “I don’t want… I… it’s your home.”
“I can send a letter to the old man. Let him know I’m alive. We could find a den somewhere else… an attic somewhere, or an abandoned castle.” Lambert nuzzles the spot right behind Aiden’s ear, earning a pleased hum from the Cat. “Or you could come with me.”
“Sure. Cause that’s gonna end well…”
“That’s settled then. I’m spending winter with you.”
Aiden pushes Lambert away, their eyes meeting once again but this time, Aiden searches for any trace of a lie in Lambert’s amber gaze. He finds none, because Lambert is one hundred percent honest in his offer. He would ditch Vesemir, Geralt and Eskel for a year to spend it with Aiden… and the thought should scare him more than it does, truthfully. He’s only known the Cat for a few months, and yet… well, maybe Lambert was dreading the winter as well. How about that? It’s not like he felt equally anxious about leaving Aiden, it’s just… fuck off.
“You mean that?”
“Mhm. Fair warning… I hate the cold. If I’m spending the winter with you, you’ll have to find a way to keep me warm or I will bite your head off.”
In Aiden’s defence, he does keep Lambert warm all winter long. Their cuddling finally turns into something more, and from the moment Lambert and Aiden cross that fateful line there is no going back. Aiden becomes insatiable, always seeking Lambert’s body in some shape or form, never letting the wolf out of his sight again. Lambert may have been apprehensive about many things concerning Aiden when the two started travelling together, but it turns out that all his worries were for nothing. Turns out Cat witchers are still crazy, and feral, and mercurial… a tad possessive as well, something Lambert doesn’t hate... but they’re also the cuddliest sons of bitches on the Continent.
Lambert can live with that, he thinks.
Request a prompt.
#havenwrites#fluff#angst#the witcher#wiedzmin#lambert the witcher#the witcher lambert#lambert#aiden#aiden the witcher#the witcher aiden#witcher lambert#witcher aiden#Lambden#laiden#lambert x aiden#aiden x lambert#aiden/lambert#lambert/aiden#soft#prompt fill#requests open
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always you (angel reyes)
A/N: Good morning everyone! I know I haven’t posted in a while, and you all know why. Thank you all again for being very understanding, it was a rough couple of weeks, and I’m trying to push through the best I can. This story was supposed to be a one shot for a prompt request I received some time ago, but I’m glad I’m able to finally fulfill it. I wrote out most of it already so it should be posted every 2-3 days. I’m also finishing up Roommates this week, at least trying to!
Hope you all have been having a good week thus far! Hopefully it is also warming up! Exams have been killing me, but my last one is later today, so yay!
The new Mayans trailer looked amazing! Definitely getting the creative juices flowing, even for EZ.
Anyways, thank you all again, you are all the utter best!
Special shoutout: To @blackmissfrizzle, you fucking crazy, violent person, my second brain. Because of you, I got a Tiktok guy on here. But thank you for listening to my crazy ideas about this story, a story that was supposed to be a one-shot turned into a series cause of all of those videos, love you though. And to @angelreyesgirl you’re the one who helped me figure out as to why certain things happen in the story, thank you, I just, I love you, you already know this, no more sappiness from me today, maybe. Also, happy birthday!
Groupchat for updates! Please join since the tags could be a bit iffy at times!
If you would like to be added to the tag list, please let me know! My tag list is a little messy, but please let me know if you want to be added!
Masterlist
Word count: 8657
Warnings: Mentions of stalker behavior, angst, smut
169: “ What a pretty sight. ”
187: “ Already? Do I really have that much of an effect on you? ”
You sighed, the knocks on the door following the call you just received from Coco made you want to pull your hair out. This has been ongoing since you two broke up two years ago. It was routine at this point and you were slightly getting tired of it. He chose to let you go and here you were opening your door so Angel could spend the night after a drunken stupor.
“Sorry again hermana, you know I try to bring his big ass home, but you know how stubborn he is.” Coco assisted Angel inside your apartment with Gilly helping him out.
They assisted Angel down to your couch, he was barely conscious. He had this obnoxious smile on his face as he settled on your couch.
“Where’s my girl?” Angel called out as he grabbed a pillow, resting his head.
Gilly looked up at you and you shook your head. “She’s asleep bro, just go sleep.”
“Okay, I’ll go to her.” Angel attempted to stand up, but Gilly held him down.
“Hey, remember, you don’t like bothering her when she’s asleep.” Gilly reminded Angel.
“You’re right, I just want to tell her I love her.” Angel laid back down, his eyes closing.
Before long, Angel’s soft snores indicated to you all he was asleep. Coco looked at you as you looked at Angel, confused as always as to why he had to come to you whenever he was drunk. They’ve tried asking him, both Coco and Gilly, and whenever you saw him in the morning, you just gave him coffee and chose not to talk to him. He tried to make small talk with you, but you didn’t entertain it.
Angel chose to break up with you two years ago, your year and a half relationship down the drain. You didn’t fight him when he ended your relationship. You accepted it and attempted to move on.
Problem was, Angel didn’t let you go. His presence was still felt even though you didn’t see him. Then three months after your breakup, the drunken visits came. At times, he would talk to you when he would come drunk, but you chose to ignore it and just took care of him.
You wanted to turn him away, but you love Angel. It was hard not to do so. Whenever you would think you had the courage to turn him away, you would let him back in your bed just so you could hold him. It was unfair to you, you wanted to move on, yet, when you had the chance to hold him, you never passed it up. You were addicted and you would break the habit eventually, but Angel was just, well, he was Angel.
“Y/N, we can take him home if you want.” Coco hated doing this to you. He was there from the beginning and he didn’t want to keep dragging you back in Angel’s life. He knew how hard you were trying to move on, but it seemed like Angel held on.
“No, it’s okay Coco, just let him sleep.” You pushed your glasses up the bridge of your nose, sighing as you draped a throw blanket over Angel.
“We can stay if you want.” Gilly offered. Much like Coco, he felt for you. You were a sweet girl, always nice to the boys and never made a fuss when Angel chose to break dates to hang out with them. For him, you were the ideal girl, you were reasonable, beautiful, and a hell of a cook. When Angel broke up with you, they planned to keep in touch, bug you every once in a while for dinner. But then they realized, Angel had no plans of letting you go either.
You chuckled and shook your head. “It’s fine, I’m sure you guys want a break from this guy.”
“We do, we really do.” Gilly agreed. “But we want to be here for you too, why did we bring him here man?”
“You gonna try to argue with Angel? He’s fucking unreasonable when he’s sober, it’s another thing when Don Quixote over here is drunk.” Coco shook his head. “If you need anything, just call me.”
“Call us.”
You nodded your head. You gave the two Mayans a hug before closing the door behind them. When you turned back, you gasped when you found Angel standing.
“Let’s go sleep?” His eyes were opening and closing and he was slightly swaying. You took one of his arms and led him to your room.
This was how it always ended. Regardless if you put Angel in your guest bedroom or the couch, he always ended in your bed.
You assisted him on your bed, going back to close your door. Angel took off his clothes, leaving him in just his boxers. “I love you.”
Your heart clenched hearing him say that. He always told you he loves you. Without a fail, he always did, when he was visiting you intoxicated. Yet, you never felt it, especially with the way things ended. And he never said it when you were together. You did, and that’s when things went downhill for you two. Holding on to the doorknob, you tried to stop the tears from coming. Angel was watching you, waiting for you to come join him on your bed. He just wanted to hold you.
“You coming?”
You nodded your head and went to your side of the bed as Angel scooted up to his. Moving the blanket, you two settled under the blanket and Angel pulled you flush against him. He caressed your face, before leaving a kiss on your forehead.
Looking up at him, he was looking down at you, he was caressing your face again.
“What a pretty sight.” He sighed.
Your head rested on his chest and you eventually heard his breathing even out. You’re not sure how much more you could take of this.
You had to move on.
It was time.
The next morning, you hoped it’s one of the days that Angel left while you were asleep. And he did, which you were thankful for. It was always awkward when Angel was still here when you woke up. Rolling over to the side, you sat up, slipping your glasses back on. Yawning, you checked your phone and had a few messages from Coco and Gilly, one from EZ.
Choosing to reply later, you placed your phone back on your dresser and stood up. Stretching as you let out a yawn, you walked out of your room and froze when you heard movement in your kitchen. Rushing back in your room to get the bat you had for protection, you made your way back towards the kitchen, peaking in and found Angel. You contemplated pretending to go back to sleep, but Angel’s voice stopped you.
“Don’t even think about pretending to go back to sleep, I made you breakfast and you have work in an hour and a half.” Angel called out.
You sighed. Placing your bat at its spot in your room, you go to the kitchen and found Angel making a plate. He handed you the plate and you murmured a thank you. Sitting at the dining table, you made sure to sit on the other side since the two chairs beside you were full of presents you have yet to wrap for Christmas. You still had time, but your dining table was basically full.
Angel smirked when he saw where you were situated. You acted as if he wasn’t with you for four years. He placed his plate down at the other end of the table. Moving your stuff to your coffee table, you opened your mouth to protest, but Angel already placed the presents down.
“You don’t have to move them, there’s plenty of room.” You protested.
“Away from you, yes. But I want to sit next to you.” Angel moved his plate and sat beside you. He shot you a smile before picking up his fork. “Come on, eat up.”
“Angel, this really isn’t necessary. I can just grab something on my way to work.” You didn’t like spending time with Angel, especially in this way since it still struck a chord with you. The familiarity of it was a painful memory of what was let go two years ago.
“It would be rude for you to not eat after I made your favorite.” Angel knew you couldn’t resist a good omelette filled with spinach, bacon, sausage and cheese. “Please, let me do this for you, you did me a solid, again.”
Picking up your fork, you began eating. Letting the silence enveloped between you two. This was better. You didn’t want to talk to Angel. You didn’t want any thank you’s or apologies, you just wanted him to go so you could pretend that the other didn’t exist again.
Angel watched as you ate, keeping your eyes on your food. He hated how he did this to you, how you couldn’t even look at him. Every time he became highly intoxicated, Angel refused to go anywhere but your place, since it’s when he needed you most. Angel hardly drank himself to a stupor, but when he did, he was mostly troubled and was trying to forget the issues that were weighing heavily on him. Even though it’s been two years, you were one of those issues. He saw you around town often and it hurt him whenever he did. You were so close yet so far away. He knew that Coco and Gilly hang out with you every once in a while. Every day, it was a struggle for him to not see you, talk to you, hold you and be with you.
So he came up with this ridiculous plan after you accepted him into your home one night after he got drunk.
Whenever missing you became too unbearable, he got wasted and refused to go anywhere but your place. He was always aware enough to know he would be brought to you. And once he was with you, you would take care of him. He felt somewhat bad, but he didn’t know how else to approach you.
“Are you busy tonight?” Angel broke the silence between you two.
“What?” You had to make sure you heard him correctly. Looking over at Angel, he was waiting for you to reply. “I have a dinner thing.” A lie, and you were almost sure Angel could see right through it, but you didn’t want to think that. You could pull this off.
“A dinner thing?” Angel raised an eyebrow, amused by your choice of words. “Sounds like a fake thing.”
“Doesn’t matter to me if you believe me or not, I have plans.” You had finished your food. Picking up your plate, you placed it in the sink and turned to face Angel who was still sitting down. “Don’t worry about the dishes, I can do them. Also, I’m not really sure why you always decide to keep coming to my place when you get drunk, but I would really appreciate it if you didn’t come here anymore.” Your best friend, Marie had advised you to create boundaries, to tell Angel that you no longer want him coming over whenever he was intoxicated.
That it was time for you both to stay away from one another like you intended to do so when he broke up with you.
“Querida.” Angel stood up, but you shook your head, holding your hand up.
“You wanted to break up, we’re done Angel. As much as I want to be there for you, I can’t keep doing this and hurting myself. You chose to let me go, so go.” You left the kitchen and entered your room, locking the door.
Angel watched as you walked away, telling himself to run after you, but he couldn’t. He’ll let you walk away for now, but after you put such a decisive end to this whole thing, he couldn’t just let go. It may be selfish, but living without you for the past two years further opened his eyes.
He wanted to be with you and just you.
It’s always been you.
=================
A month without any incident with Angel. You're glad he has finally decided to leave you alone. Coco had texted you a few times expressing that he was proud of you about putting your foot down with Angel. EZ has been frequenting the library more as of late, and he’s either had Marie with him, his girlfriend, or he came by himself.
A new year and new decade ushered in a new era for you.
You caught EZ coming in, a smile appearing on your face.
“We got that book you’ve been waiting for, I saved you the copy since it was the only copy we got.” You grabbed the book and handed it over to him.
“Thanks Y/N.” He looked around. “Um, did Coco come? Or any other Mayan?”
“No,” you gave him a confused look. “You’re the only Mayan that comes during business hours. The others usually come when the library is closed waiting for me to make sure I made it home safely when I was still dating Angel.”
EZ opened his mouth to apologize but you held your hand up.
“Ezekiel, I’m not fragile, it’s fine to mention your brother.” You laughed lightheartedly to lighten the mood. You knew EZ tried his best not to mention his older brother. “So you and Marie are getting serious?”
“Something like that,” the sheepish smile on Ezekiel’s face made you want to pinch his cheeks. “Just put a good word for me.”
“A good word? My best friend hates hanging out at the library with me, yet, she comes here to what? Watch you read?” You loved teasing Ezekiel. You were glad when he got out of prison, the way everything turned out for him, it was awful but you were grateful he was getting another chance at life. “You should at least take her out on a date.”
“Look, don’t judge me, I just got out of prison.”
“It’s been two years.”
“Alright, fine, Marie is just intimidating. One day she seems impressed with me, the next she’s not into it.”
“I think you’re reading too much into the situation. You two have been talking for four months now and you still haven’t asked her out. Marie is simple, start with the movies.” You suggested.
“That’s fucking lame though.”
“Okay Netflix.”
“How about the fair? You and Angel can be like our chaperone.” EZ was trying to help Angel, soften you up some, but you were pretty good at blocking EZ’s charm.
You looked at EZ for a moment, a small laugh escaping your lips. “Nice try.”
EZ smiled and took the book to his usual corner at the library. You knew your best friend would be bursting through the door in the next thirty minutes. Marie and EZ have been playing the flirting game for the last year and have been officially talking for the last four months. It was cute and you were happy that Marie found EZ and vice versa.
You got on the computer, trying to organize the library website like you promised your boss that you would do. The door opened and you expected the usual coffee Marie brought you.
“I feel like I should start requesting for a pastry since you two use my library as your hangout spot.” You teased. “I’m glad you’re here, coffee will help me through the rest of my shift.”
“I didn’t bring coffee querida, but I can run and get you some.”
You froze. That wasn’t Marie’s voice. Looking up, you found Angel with his staple kutte on his back along with a navy blue button up. His body has changed over the last two years, his muscles were more prominent. You weren’t blind, you could appreciate Angel taking care of his body.
“Can I help you?” The professional tone killed Angel, but he was determined to break through that.
“Came to check out a book, maybe you can help me?” Angel leaned against the countertop of the kiosk desk. His scent hit you and it made you want to smack him. How dare this man? You wanted to move on, and you’ve been doing so well.
“I didn’t know you could read.”
“You know that’s a lie, I used to read to you while I fucked you.”
“Angel.” You hissed out his name, not wanting to yell.
Angel chuckled at your reaction. “Is it not true?”
“Listen, loitering is not allowed here.”
“That’s literally what everyone does around here.” Angel looked over at EZ and he shot his baby brother a smirk. “Well, I was looking for Stanford, I’ll be seeing you.”
You chose not to reply, saying ‘yeah right’ in your head. Marie walked in coffee and a box of Krispy Kreme in hand. The sigh of relief you let out was definitely noticed by her and her eyes immediately roamed the library to see if your creepy admirer was around, but instead she found EZ and Angel.
“Never pegged Angel as a library type of guy.” She placed your drink on the countertop.
“He actually loves poetry, he really likes the European writers, British novels mostly Pride and Prejudice, Frankenstein, Jane Eyre, Shakespeare.” You mouthed off Angel’s interest which never surprised Marie. When you love someone, you made it a mission to know that person, so you would know their ins and outs. You become invested in any relationship you forge since you rarely make friends as it was. It wasn’t about quantity, it was all about quality for you. A hard lesson you learned over the years. “He’s a big fan of Scarlet Letter and Invisible Man. But he really likes poetry from all generations, when we were still together, I got him a few poetry books from a few authors he liked.” You paused, realizing the tangent you went on. It wasn’t uncommon whenever you spoke about Angel.
Marie enjoyed it because she got to learn about her old obnoxious neighbor that never deserved her best friend. You met Angel through Marie and in some ways, she regretted letting it happen, but when she saw how happy you were, how could she be so opposed? Even with knowing Angel’s history, she had faith. But then Angel decided that the single life was more of a life for him, something you never knew about. You never wanted to know about it and she didn’t push you.
“It’s okay, I love your tangents, even if they’re about that asshat.” Marie rolled her eyes. “So, have you given any thought of going on a date with Tyler?”
“You mean your co-worker you always refer to as a man slut?”
“Bitch, we’re trying to get the pussy wet, not a serious relationship.”
“That’s a no.”
You and Marie jumped, not expecting to hear Angel’s voice.
“Where did you even come from?”
“You setting her up?” Angel ignored Marie’s question. He was going to bug you for the name of that author you always raved about when you two were together, but he became intrigued when he caught the tail end of your tangent about his interests. It was endearing for him to hear that you still knew so much about him, but his mood soured when he heard Marie trying to set you up. “Tyler, the douche that always gets drunk out of his mind at the clubhouse?”
“Again, just trying to get her dry spell to end.”
“I volunteer.” Angel smirked.
“Not interested.” You replied as you turned to face Angel. “We talked about this, please, just respect my wishes. I don’t even know why you’re here.”
“Hate to break it to you querida, the library is public property, unless I’m disrupting the peace, I have every right to be here as much as you do.” Angel placed his chin on his hand, smiling sweetly at you.
You grabbed the coffee and the box of donuts. “I’m going to take my break.”
Your co-worker, Sienna took over the kiosk desk, Marie making her way over to Marie. She knew you needed some alone time. As she passed Angel, she patted his back.
“Give her space, don’t push it.”
Angel wasted enough time. He knew you. It’s not that you didn’t want to be around him, you were just protecting your heart. He gave you five minutes before he followed after you, finding the trunk of your Toyota RAV4 opened. Walking over to you, he opened his mouth to speak, you beat him to it.
“Eugene, please, I’m on my break, I would appreciate it if you didn’t follow me.” Your day was starting to become shit since seeing Angel helped you realize that you weren’t over him. It’s been two years but due to his drunken escapades, it was hard for you to move on.
“Who the fuck is Eugene?”
“No one.” You didn’t want to tell Angel about Eugene. It’s not like he would care, but you haven’t exactly told Angel about how your kindness to Eugene went from endearing to him becoming obsessive. “Can I help you?”
“I was going to take a smoke break then I saw your trunk open.” Angel shrugged, taking note of the name Eugene so he could ask Marie later. “Can I join you?”
“No, I’m done.” You closed the box of donut, picking up your drink as you stood up.
“Come on, throw me a bone here. Can you give me a chance to explain?”
“Explain what exactly? Why you broke up with me? Why you kept me in your back pocket by being your go to house when you're drunk?”
“You gonna let me explain or are you gonna continue interrupting me?”
“I don’t care what you do, just please stay away from me. You’ve made your stance very clear two years ago. I don’t care why you came to me while you’re drunk, but it doesn’t matter. Don’t come to my job, don’t come to my apartment, just please stay away from me.”
“You don’t mean that.” Angel frowned. He didn’t expect things to go like this. Maybe he was an asshole or an idiot, but he expected you to welcome him with open arms.
“I do, I want to move on, build new relationships and be happy. I didn’t break your heart, I didn’t hurt you, if you don’t love me that’s fine. If you feel bad for what happened, you’re good, you’re forgiven.” You pressed the button that automatically closed your car. “I’m suffocating right? I’m too nice right? Then leave me alone.”
“You really just gonna walk away?”
You were about to answer Angel when you heard a familiar voice call out your name. Looking to where you heard the voice, you saw Jay, your ex-boyfriend. Angel cussed under his breath when he saw him. Jay was a sore subject for Angel. You two rarely spoke about Jay and it was mostly due to the fact that Angel never brought him up. When you did bring up Jay, it was a rare occurrence. It’s not that Angel didn’t care about your ex-boyfriend, in fact, he cared too much. Too many times he’s heard people spoke about how epic you and Jay were together. The perfect couple that would have stayed together if you decided to go with Jay to Germany.
“Jay?” You hopped out of your trunk and was in disbelief. Jay, from what you knew, was still in Berlin, and wouldn’t be back for another three years. You kept in touch with him since you had a quite amicable break-up.
You two had dated for eight years before you two eventually parted ways. High school sweethearts, intended to last forever, but forever wasn’t a thing. You two broke up amicably and remained friends. It was hard not to be friends with a person you spent eight years of your life with.
It was your ex-boyfriend.
He couldn’t forget his name, he knew everything about the fucking guy. The first love, the one you would always love, that was the cliche, right? He remembered that he briefly met Jay before he left for Berlin once again. He was bringing you home after a catch up dinner with other friends and he saw just how your smile shone brightly around him. Jay was looking down at you, returning your smile as you animatedly spoke to him about something. You turned to face Angel and what he missed was how your smile changed, it was that smile specifically for your Angel. You had made your way towards him, wrapping your arms around him. Jay first met Angel then and much to your surprise, Jay took a liking to Angel, especially since he was a big fan of his Harley. Angel didn’t show much interest towards Jay, but you knew it bugged your then boyfriend how close you were to Jay.
Angel was not friends with any of his exes, but he also wasn’t with them for a long amount of time. If anything, you were his longest relationship. And seeing you react the way you did with Jay, he regretted it further that he let you go.
“Eugene is still coming here? You told me you handled that.” Jay was annoyed, you told him that you handled your too friendly library consumer. Jay stood at 6’4, 210 pounds, the Marines shaped him well.
You looked at Angel and Jay did as well.
“If you’re going to bother her when you’re drunk, you should at least get rid of her stalker.” Jay didn’t have a problem with Angel, but he knew Angel had a problem with him. He could see it when they first met. He couldn’t blame him, he rarely knew of exes that were friends, but Jay couldn’t exactly let you go.
You two grew up together, you knew him best.
“Excuse me? Who the fuck do you think you are?” You saw how quickly Angel’s face turned sour and you knew you could have a fight in your hands.
“Aright, let’s not do anything crazy.” You got in between them, with you facing Angel. “We’re done.”
You locked your car before making your way inside the library once again, dragging Jay with you, and leaving Angel to his own devices. The broken look on your face, he wanted to take that away, especially since he caused it. He loves you, he really did, he was just an idiot.
The fact that Jay was seemingly back in town, Angel had to make a move.
And you should know better, Angel was anything but a quitter.
=================
Angel walked in the library and found you talking to one of your co-workers. He saw her nudge you and your eyes met. Quickly you looked away, shushing your co-worker. Angel took his usual spot opening the book he had borrowed earlier in the week. You weren’t surprised Angel burned through books, people counted him out due to his affiliates, but you knew better than to judge a book by its cover.
Jay hasn’t been back since he saw him two weeks prior. Angel frequented the library and never saw a sign of him.
“You look beautiful Y/N.” Eugene, a regular at the library, complimented you. What started off as you being kind, feeling bad for a man who appeared to be a loner, was starting to make you feel uneasy. For the last three years, he progressively became bolder and you could tell that he was getting to the point where aggressive behavior was going to come out. Regardless of how nice you were, you always made sure he knew that you two were friends.
“Thank you Eugene.” You faked this small smile on your lips, but you didn’t want to provoke him. Sienna stayed beside you, she was more straightforward and had no problem telling Eugene to fuck off.
“Have you thought of my invitation for dinner tonight? My mother would love to meet you? I speak about you often with her.” The uneasiness at the pit of your stomach was unexplainable and Angel noticed the change on your face.
Sienna looked at you, her eyes slightly widening. She’s had enough of Eugene. It was small talk at first, but as of late, the man was beginning to be more bold. Starting with grabbing a drink or coffee, it evolved to having dinner at his place. You never entertained the idea and always let him down, but he wasn’t understanding.
“I’m sorry Eugene, I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“Why not?” You saw how his face slightly scrunched up, his voice slightly raising. A few of the library patrons looked over before going back to their book. “Stop being such a tease and just go to my place.”
Both you and Sienna were appalled by his suggestion. You never teased him.
“Excuse me? I’ve never done such a thing.”
“Oh please, with the skirts and dresses you wear, how do you expect anyone to not be teased by your clothing. Mother is right, you’re a slut, but no mind, I can repent you.”
Angel heard enough. You saw him from the corner of your eye.
“Call security, I’ll handle Angel.” You walked out of the kiosk and intercepted Angel.
“Let go of me, he’s not going to get away speaking to you like that.” The restrained tone in Angel’s voice made you nervous for Eugene.
“Please, Angel.” The way you whispered his name with a plea, it made Angel sigh deeply, his tongue darting out to wet his lips as he looked up at the ceiling.
“Make sure he’s gone when we get back.” He instructed Sienna. You led him to the restricted area of the library which was situated at the back. Older books or original versions of books were kept here, with only employees having access and at times guests who were accompanied by employees.
When you two were all the way at the back of the restricted area, you leaned against one of the bookshelves as Angel paced back and forth in front of you.
“How long has he been harassing you?” Angel questioned, continuing his pace.
“Angel.”
“How. Long.” He let out through gritted teeth. There was no argument. He let you take him away, you owed him this.
You didn’t want to tell Angel, it didn’t matter anyway. All you knew was that you had to take care of this, he was making your anxiety spike up. “Three years.”
“Three years?!” Angel’s voice echoed throughout the library.
“Angel.” You hissed, keeping your voice low.
“Are you fucking kidding me? And you never told me?” Angel didn’t heed your warning. He was livid. How could you not tell him, especially while you two were together?
“Eugene is harmless.” He shot you a look and you sighed. “He was harmless.” You amended your statement. “Angel, please, it’s okay.”
“No the fuck is not, the way he spoke to you?” Angel felt his temper rise again. Fuck security, he would beat the idea in to Eugene that he was to never breathe the same air as you again. “Wait, Jay knew? And you didn’t tell me?”
You cussed under your breath. You accidentally told Jay about Eugene. He was FaceTiming you when Eugene came in after hours. You were able to shoo him away since Jay was on the phone. You never even thought of telling Angel, you didn’t want Angel to make a big deal out of it and you honestly thought you were reading too much into it.
“I,” you sighed. “It wasn’t on purpose. Jay was FaceTiming me when Eugene walked in after hours.”
“Did you have him pretend to be your boyfriend?” Angel knew he was being unreasonable, but it irked him that your ex-boyfriend knew about your stalker and he didn’t. He was the one who was in Santo Padre. He was the one who could deal with it.
“No, Angel, it was years ago.”
“My fucking point exactly, it’s been years and you never told me. I was your boyfriend then, not him. How could you not tell me?”
“I don’t know, it was harmless, I didn’t want to make a big deal out of nothing.”
“Out of nothing?” Angel exclaimed, shaking his head at your ridiculousness. “We’re gonna fucking talk after this, this should have never been an issue.”
Before he could leave, you blocked his way.
“Move.”
You shook your head.
“Don’t act like I can’t just lift you out of the way.”
You weren’t exactly the lightest, and hardly looked like any of Angel’s previous girlfriends. You had meat on your bones and some people may poke fun at your weight, but Angel always made you feel like a queen. He loved your curves, kissed and worshipped every part of your body. Well until he broke up with you.
“Angel, please, just stay with me.” You wrapped your arms around him and he wrapped his arms around you.
“No, he’ll never learn his lesson unless,”
You cut Angel off by bringing his lips down to yours. Whenever Angel became irritated or upset, small touches or kisses from you would always calm his anger. You took a chance knowing Angel doesn’t exactly want you anymore, so you’re not sure what this would do for the situation, but you had to try. Angel immediately responded to your kiss, his hands cupping your face. One of his hands slid down to your neck, slightly moving you so you were against the bookshelves. His hand moved down, brushing against your breast causing you to moan. Angel’s tongue slipped in, deepening your kiss. He pressed you against the shelf, pulling away and pressing his forehead against yours. The anger that had overtook his body was gone, and was now replaced for a burning desire for you.
“You still taste so good.” Angel kissed you again, your back arching so your front was pressed against his front. One of his hands was sliding under your skirt, causing you to pull away.
“No Angel.” You shook your head, moving away from him to fix yourself.
Angel groaned, his dick was hard and he was at a library with no means of relieving it. He thought of anything that could help his erection to go away, his third grade teacher who was horrific to him did the trick. Turning to face you, he found you looking around before you took his hand and led him further down the restricted area of the Santo Padre library. It was an old library, built by the Spaniards when they were doing their missions along California. Bringing him to the last row where you knew there was an entrance to the inventory the library had for the restricted section. You knew no one ever went in there till closing. You didn’t want Angel to do anything to you, but you could definitely help alleviate some of his anger.
“Querida, where the fuck are we?” Angel looked around and the shelves were against the walls, a few shelves were in the middle of the room, otherwise, there were books everywhere. You led him to a desk that Sienna used to organize the unlabeled books. You pushed Angel down onto the office chair. He watched as you sunk to your knees, your eyes focused on unbuckling his belt and unbuttoning his jeans. “Hey, you don’t have to do this.”
“I know, but I want to.” You lifted your eyes to meet his and the softness in his eyes was such a stark contrast from earlier where they were dark, anger obviously apparent. Now, it was adoration and lust that clouded his iris. You tugged on his jeans, which Angel assisted you with, lifting himself up so you could pull down his jeans and boxers. Smirking, you wrapped your hand around his semi-hard cock, using some of his pre-cum to help your hand glide down with ease. Angel groaned, leaning his head back. It was his weakness, watching your beautiful lips around his cock, trying to take in as much of his cock, he was a goner whenever you did that. The way your eyes would water, your cheeks hallowed, your mouth full of him, the image alone could make him cum. But he always held back, letting himself enjoy you.
“Fuck, look at you mi sol,” he watched as you spat down on his cock, holding his thick member with one hand. Placing a kiss on the tip of his cock, you looked up at Angel as you opened your mouth to take him in. Just as he taught you, you took Angel until you could not take any of him anymore, moving your head back up, his cock sheath with your saliva. You took him in your mouth once more, Angel gathering your hair in one hand. He loved your eyes on him. Those hooded eyes under those thick black rimmed glasses of yours. You move your mouth up and down his cock, hollowing your cheeks and swallowing around him whenever his tip reaches your gag reflex. You let go of him with a pop, your hand replacing your mouth. “That’s right baby, take your dick and let me fuck that pretty mouth of yours.” Angel tried not to lose himself with you, but any part of you that was connected always felt so good for him. He didn’t know what it was but everything he did with you was a hundred times more intense when compared to others.
Placing two hands on his cock, you had your mouth on the tip of his cock, running your tongue over and over again over Angel’s sensitive cock. He moaned out your name, gripping your hair tighter. You were licking his cock like it was a tootsie roll lollipop and you were trying to get to the center. You moved so that your tongue was moving up and down his shaft, getting to the top and engulfing his tip with your mouth. Angel groaned, throwing his head back, licking his lips as you continued to bob your head up and down. His hand assisted you, the tip of his cock hitting the back of your throat, swallowing around it.
“Holy fuck princesa, keep going I’m about to cum.” Angel moaned. “You want me to cum in your mouth baby? You gonna swallow daddy’s cum?”
You chose not to answer and continued your ministrations. Just as you felt Angel’s cock pulsing in your mouth, you pulled away, placing a kiss on his cock. Angel slammed his hand on the desk, grabbing your hair.
“You really want to play with daddy?” His face was so close to you, your hand still around his cock. You tightened your hold, moving your hand up and down causing Angel to close his eyes. He moaned out your name, further dampening your panties. “Put your mouth back on my cock so I can fuck that pretty little mouth of yours.”
You followed Angel’s instructions, taking him back in your mouth. Angel began to thrust up in your mouth, tears forming in your eyes as he moved in and out of your mouth. Your hands rested on Angel’s thighs, your nails digging into his skin. He chanted your name before he came in your mouth, holding your head against him. You swallowed some of his cum, keeping some of it in your mouth. He let go of your hair, saying how much of a good girl you were for swallowing daddy’s cum. His cock was still semi-erect and you smirked, dropping some of his cum on his cock, making Angel groan as he felt himself hardened again at the sight of you using his cum as lubrication, moving your hand up and down once again.
“God, my dirty little librarian.” Angel always fantasized doing numerous things with you in the library. You weren’t opposed to it, but Angel hardly came to pick you up from your work. And now, Angel regretted that.
You placed a sweet little kiss at the tip of his cock before you stood up.
“Stay here, I’ll get you some paper towels.” He grabbed your hand, pulling you towards him.
“Let me make you feel good.” Angel smirked when he saw your breast just calling to him. You balanced yourself on the arm rest of the arm chair. Your dress was sinful since it was this black cami dress that you usually wore a cardigan with. He knew without that cardigan, all those fuckers that pretend to go to the library for books would be staring straight at your ample breast. And even though you were wearing leggings under, the imagination was running wild. “Where the fuck is your cardigan?” He hated how your breasts were just out in the open, even though your dress did cover your cleavage well, Angel had fucked you too many times in this dress, pulling the top down, watching as your breast bounced up and down as he fucked you.
“No, it’s okay, I just wanted to make you feel good.” In reality, you were ashamed you let this happen. For two years, you did nothing with Angel besides cuddling and now you not only kissed him but you gave him a blowjob. The only reason you did it was because seeing how protective he became over you, it made your heart melt. “I left it on my chair.” You bit back a moan as Angel grabbed your breast.
“What did daddy say about this dress?” He pushed one of your straps down, licking his lips as his eyes focused on your beautiful skin, calling him to mark it.
“Angel,” you whimpered as he pulled a part of your dress down, your naked breast immediately greeting him.
“Where the fuck is your bra?”
“It has a built in one.”
Angel wrapped his hand around your throat, making you look at him. He growled, squeezing your breast, taking your nipples in between his fingers.
“I’m gonna ask you one more fucking time, what did daddy say about this dress.”
“Not to wear it unless you’re with me.” You gave in and you couldn’t even be angry. Angel was doing a number on you. But you had to snap out of it, pleasuring him was one thing, but you didn’t want to go back there with Angel. “But we’re no longer together.” You moved away, fixing yourself. You were so wet, but you couldn’t give in to Angel.
“I can change that.”
“I’ll meet you at the kiosk desk.”
When Angel eventually joined you at the kiosk desk, you were surprised when he sat right beside you. Sienna threw you a smirk before finishing a few things around the library since you were set to close in forty-five minutes. Eugene was escorted off of the property, but you knew he would be back. You should really be more stern with Eugene, but at the same time you knew he found solace in the library since it was his time away from his mother.
You were organizing a few things at your desk, trying your best to avoid Angel and making yourself look busy. His eyes were on you, you could feel them.
“We’re closing soon, you should go.” Boundaries, you shouted that in your head. Boundaries. You had to set up boundaries or you would be in this endless loop with Angel. There was no future between you two, there was no point of prolonging the inevitable.
“I’ll wait just in case he’s waiting for you outside.” Angel’s voice was strained. You knew he was upset about your comment earlier.
“He won’t be, this isn’t some crime drama.” You tried to lighten the mood, but that seemed to upset Angel further. “I’ll be safe, I promise.”
He leaned in, so only you could hear his words. “Stop it, I’m not leaving you, I’m going to make sure you’re fucking safe. You chose to hide this from me for years and now that I’m in the know, you’re not going to be a fucking statistic.” He took the cardigan that was resting on your chair, and placed it over you. “Wear your fucking cardigan. You think just because we’re not together you’re no longer mine?” Angel chuckled. “You’ll always be mine, you can fight it all you want, but you shouldn’t fight the inevitable.”
“I’m not yours, there’s no fighting anything. We’re not together and it’ll remain that way.” You moved away from him, focusing your eyes on the computer in front of you once more.
The library was finally closed and as Angel promised, he remained by your side. You stood up gathering your things and you saw Sienna making her way towards the door.
“Hey! Are we still meeting at that new Thai place?”
Sienna was about to confirm your plans when Angel shook his head behind you. She refrained from smiling and shook her head.
“Sorry babe, my man just texted me. He’s having some technical difficulties at home. Rain check?”
“Sure.” You smiled and waved her goodbye. You could feel Angel behind you, his heat was just radiating. “Hey, so, I have to do inventory. You can sweep the parking lot to see if he’s there, but otherwise, we’re good. Thanks again for standing up for me.” You didn’t want to face Angel, you were nervous about what you would see. Resisting Angel was difficult and you just had so much willpower left. You never felt your dry spell, it never bothered you, until today. Now you really had to get laid.
You felt Angel box you in, his front against your back. You felt his hot breath against your skin. “Are the cameras on?”
“Huh?” Being in such close proximity to Angel, you wanted to close your eyes, bask in the feeling, but you have to set up boundaries.
“Are the cameras on?” Angel repeated his question.
“No, Sienna turns them off, only the outside cameras are on.”
“Good.” Angel placed his hand on your breast, grabbing it through your dress. Placing your hand on top of his, you incidentally intertwined your hands, with your hand on top of his as his other hand slid down your dress starting from your chest down to your abdomen and under your dress, pulling down your leggings. You felt him smile against your ear when he felt just how dampen your panties were. “You’re so wet, is this all for daddy?”
You whimpered when you felt Angel press against your clothed pearl. He squeezed your breast making you let out another whimper. “I didn’t hear an answer.”
“Yes daddy.” Your other hand grabbed Angel’s before he could move your underwear to the side. “Angel, let’s not do this.” Your mind screamed boundaries while your heart said fuck it.
“Why baby, you let someone else touch my pussy?” Angel swatted your hand, slipping his fingers under your panties. “I’m gonna make you feel so good, stretch out this pussy.”
Your phone began to ring and you immediately grabbed it. It was Jay, your ex-boyfriend. Angel saw the name and growled out your name.
“If you answer, I’m gonna make sure to make you come while he’s talking to you.” Jay was a sore spot for Angel. He was your high school sweetheart. The one that supposedly got away. Fuck that, Angel refused to acknowledge that. Jay was a part of your past, one he never wanted to address since he made him feel even more insecure about your relationship.
Angel ran a finger up and down your slit, slipping it past your entrance shallowly, moving his finger tip in and out. It was just enough for you to feel him, but not enough.
You let your phone ring, focused on the sensations or lack thereof that Angel was providing.
“You want my finger all the way, so you can feel my rings against that pussy?”
You nodded your head, loving the feel of Angel’s hand against yours. His hands were always so fucking big, it made yours feel small.
“Naw, I know you got a voice,” he kissed your ear, nipping at it. “Fucking use it.”
“Yes, please daddy.” You begged.
Angel chuckled lowly and slipped his finger further in, adding a second finger. “Tight as always, no one touched you baby?” His thumb landed on your throbbing pearl, tapping it.
“No daddy, just me.” You didn’t want to disclose with Angel that Marie’s words were true about your dry spell. You felt him add a third finger and you threw your head back, your head landing on Angel’s shoulder.
Angel wrapped a hand on your throat, chastely kissing your cheek. He kept his lips on your cheek, his breath against your skin further turning you on.
“Did you use that toy I got you?” He questioned. He was rubbing his clothes erection against your back, the friction was amazing, but you knew it would be so much better when it was his bare skin against yours.
“Yes daddy, I did.” You were clenching Angel’s fingers, his fingers tightening around your throat.
Just as Angel was about to unzip his jeans to slide on home, the door opened. You tried to move away from Angel, but all he did was fix your dress and kept you pressed against him. Jay looked at you, the swollen lips, the disheveled state and the smug look on Angel’s face gave it away.
“Was I interrupting?” Jay questioned, walking further inside the library.
“No.”
“Yes.”
You and Angel answered at the same time. He looked down at you, but you kept your eyes on Jay.
“You said you wouldn’t be back till next week.” You really wished Jay didn’t come, but at the same time you were glad he came. You were going to cave to Angel and that was the last thing you wanted to do.
“I decided to surprise you.” Jay leaned against the kiosk desk once he arrived, smirking. “You could have continued Reyes, I don’t mind watching.” The smugness on Jay’s face irritated Angel.
You sighed and pushed Angel out of the kiosk desk. “Go home Angel.”
“I’m not leaving you with this guy.” Angel stood his ground. Jay wasn’t your man, and he never would be again.
“She’s safe with me, go back to your little club, fix bikes, fuck bitches, and sell drugs.” Jay knew what the Mayans were, he’s had his fair share of run ins with them over the years. He was friends with Neron, a gym buddy of his you could say and he served time with Johnny in the Marines.
“Jay!” You hissed.
Angel just smirked and shook his head. Jay wasn’t worth it, not yet at least.
“I’ll see you later querida.” He brushed past Jay. It took every fiber in his body to not knock him out.
There was a time and place.
His main goal right now was to get you back. You two had plenty to talk about and Angel planned on discussing things with you. He wasn’t going to let Jay weasel his way back in, especially since he may never let you go again.
Angel understood he fucked up.
He made a hasty decision.
But, it was a new year.
It’s 2020.
A brand new decade.
Your past grievances could be left behind in 2019.
Valentine’s Day was around the corner and he was determined to spend it with you.
Angel was more determined to win you back. That kiss, he knew he wasn’t the only one who felt that undeniable spark between you two. And the sexual encounters you two just had, it left Angel wanting more, as he always had.
But he had to take care of Eugene and then Jay.
=================
tagged list: @justahopelessssromantic : @carlaangel86 : @woahitslucyylu : @encounterthepast : @enamoured-x : @anangelwhodidntfall : @briana-mishell24 : @bribri-82 : @chibsytelford : @agirllovespancakes : @twistnet : @everyhowlmarksthedead : @trulysuccubus : @jadert15 : @sammskellington : @cind-in-real-life : @onmyspookysblock : @sadeyesgf : @thickemadame : @summertimesadnesswithadashofsass : @gemini0410 : @elcococruz : @samcrobae : @sesamepancakes : @iambabyharry : @blackmissfrizzle : @mrs-losa : @1-800-imagines : @phoenixhalliwell : @lady-pswrld : @dazzledamazon : @getyourcrayoncas : @fvckthisbxtchup : @lukealvxz : @scuzmunkie : @lilac-tea-time : @danie1432 : @cocotheclown : @soaronmywings : @my-rosegold-soul : @buttercup812 : @un-poetryy : @angelreyesgirl : @sheeshgivemeabreak : @vicmackeybullshxt : @bigcreatorwombatdreamer : @khyharah : @strawberrywritings : @cherry-icetea : @fuzzy-jellyfish : @losolvidad0s : @brownsugarcoffy : @courtrae89 : @prdsdjarin : @blessedboo : @marvelmaree : @enamouravecleslivresetlechocolat : @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead : @thesandbeneathmytoes : @dark-twisted-and-mechanical-mind : @maddie-georges : @pearlkitten33 : @incorrect-mcdanno : @that-chick212 : @imanerdychubbyqueen : @60shannon : @deeandbobbymcgee : @marquelapage : @justlikebreathing : @mindless-x-dreaming : @thesewordsareallihavetogive : @wiccanmetallicrose : @appropriate-writers-name : @likedovesinthewnd : @admirehermind : @krysiewithak : @helli4nthus : @robbosvgdens : @scuzmunkie : @proudlittlewitchbitch : @lilacyennefer : @witchyhours
#angel reyes#angelreyes#angel reyes x reader#angel reyes fanfiction#angel reyes fanfic#angel reyes fic#mayans mc fanfiction#mayans mc imagine#mayans mc fic#mayans mc fanfic
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Well, it's officially been a week since I first saw Venom 2. I'm going to start posting spoilers.
!!!!! As a reminder, I am tagging all my spoilers with these tags::
# Venom Spoilers
# Venom Let There Be Carnage Spoilers
# Venom 2 Spoilers
# Venom ltbc spoilers
------- Now, I'm going to start my spoilers with my honest review of the movie under the cut here. SPOILERS AHEAD. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
I talk about several scenes in the movie in depth. Please don't blame me if I spoil things for you. I tried to warn you.
First opinions?
This one was not as coherent as the first Venom. It went very very fast and could have used an extra 20 to 30 minutes to pad some scenes and slow a couple things down. That post that describes Venom 2 as "venom with the brakes off" is accurate because it goes from 0 to 100 instantly. It needed to just slow down a little bit and have some moments for the audience to breathe.
That being said?
Absolute blast of a movie. Super fun, super silly. Incredibly gay. Venom is a hopeless romantic and an absolute moron. It was so fucking funny. I was laughing during almost the entire movie. The first chunk of the movie felt like me on a bad day in quarantine, stuck in a house with my mother and brother for weeks on end. Ready to kill something off the slightest provocation. (Tom Hardy managed to get the "pandemic locked in the house" stress perfectly right before the pandemic even started.)
Venom gets hit on by a girl at the rave and he gets scared and runs away while saying, "No, no, sorry, not my type" - CUZ HES GAY and LOVES EDDIE.
Venom's speech at the LGBT rave basically boils down to ""I'm totally fine, I don't need Eddie. Eddie was wrong. Eddie is a big mean poopyhead. I don't even miss Eddie at all." And then Venom immediately collapses and talks about missing Eddie. - Hopeless. In love. Gay as fuck. Just go kiss him already, you loser.
I really appreciated that this movie kept up with the cliche dodging in some aspects. --- Cletus tries to do the stereotypical "mysterious killer" thing that all these movies and shows do where he tries to give Eddie tiny clue and tiny hints just to get Eddie to keep printing his name in the paper and get attention. Venom completely fucks up his plan. Cletus gets PISSED about it, but it's so fucking funny in hindsight. Venom just went ""Nah, fuck you. You don't get the spotlight. Exposed, bitch."" And I loved that. I went in expecting to get the big scary, half riddle, killer speech from Cletus. And they just went "YEah no"
I LOVED SHRIEK. SHE WAS SO MENACING AND SO WEIRD. Her first comment upon meeting Carnage- ""That is so HOT"" -- HELL YES, GIRL. Hell yes! Monsterfucker queen in the movie herself.
Didn't like that Red wasn't a girl, but I guess maybe they were worried audiences wouldn't understand it. Carnage was Evil Baby (tm) the entire movie. So young and so full or Murder. 10/10
There's a scene with Venom and Anne that honestly? Really did not like. It was uncomfortable and I know it was played for laughs, but I just... No. Just no.
I was fucking celebrating in my seat after Eddie and Cletus's altercation in the prison. When Cletus just fucking stared and shouted, "Eddie!!??!!"" -- EXACTLY what I wanted. Oh my god, I wanted that so bad. Just a moment for the scary serial killer to finally be thrown off his game. He thinks he's so big and tough and can hurt Eddie however he wants and then suddenly his whole world kind of tilts after he bites him. I LOVE moments like that.
DAN WAS BACK. I LOVE DAN SO MUCH. MY BEAUTIFUL BABY BOY, I'M SO GLAD THEY DIDN'T KILL YOU. DAAAAAAANNNNNNN
The ending was fucking beautiful. Venom tries to sound all smart and philosophical while confessing their love to Eddie and Eddie teases them about it and gets all smiley and happy while they sit on a fucking tropical island and watch a god damn sunset together and their bodies sit in the shape of a fucking heart. Andy Serkis, Kelly Marcel, and Tom Hardy, I thank you for your service. Now give me a bunch of sappy/horny kisses in the third one and I will love you all forever.
The end credit scene? Yeah, I knew it was coming for like... a month or more. I already knew what they were going to do. I'm not stupid. I could see it. ... I have to wonder what the plan here is, exactly... Tom Hardy's Venom really doesn't seem like a villain to me. He's trying so hard to be a hero, he's just super bad at it. I would enjoy it more if they had Eddie be like the weird hobo uncle to Peter. -- I enjoyed the hidden pregnancy innuendo in the credits, though. They knew their audience. (Also Venom's fear of towel swans. Relatable.)
Also did a little celebration dance when we got Venom and Mrs. Chen together. This movie fulfilled two of my biggest wants and I am so happy about it.
Rating - 8.8/10. Very enjoyable. But still had some problems.
#venom spoilers#venom let there be carnage spoilers#venom 2 spoilers#venom#venom 2#venom let there be carnage#sony#spoilers#spoiler warning#marvel#venom ltbc spoilers#venom gay#symbrock#gay gay homosexual gay#anne weying#eddie brock#dan lewis#cletus kasady#carnage#monsters#sony's venom#tom hardy's venom#thank you for my life#i love you tom hardy#i wont tag about the end credit scene but if youve seen it you know who i am talking about
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The Good Old Days.
John Rambo (Post-Rambo III) x reader
Warnings: implied death, implied injury, heavily implied sexual themes, possible swearing? Alcohol consumption (moderate)
Context: inside John's head.
A/n: so recently, I saw @slystallone 's post (Here) about a deleted scene from Rambo, and this idea (or at least the first part) came to mind, so I have them to thank for the inspiration! (Also, if you're as obsessed as I am with Sylvester Stallone content, check out their blog, it's amazing!)
Masterlist
His eyes scan idly around the room, taking in the cheerful faces of young people letting loose, watching as many of them move together on the dancefloor, keeping in time with the sappy music playing overhead. Throughout the room, glasses are clinked together, liquids in a multitude of different colours sloshing in their containers as the owners of said drinks swallow down their beverages, the strong odour of alcohol rife in the air. Sweat mingles with this, as well as heady cologne and perfumes, creating the perfect odour of youthful spirit, something he has long since forgotten. Around him, he can see a fair few couples together: one in a booth in the corner, one right in the centre of the dancefloor, and one to his left, each of them enjoying each other's company far more explicitly than the rest of the pairings in the bar.
It should, in theory, be an enjoyable environment, being around hordes of people who are having a good time, but John can't help the discomfort playing in his mind. Something about the strong smells, the heaving throng of people, the lack of clear vision of anywhere fixed in the room and the cacophony of raucous noise doesn't sit right with him, his finely tuned senses prickling at everything. Dimly, he's aware of fighting back flashes of memory that spring, unbidden, to mind, trying to ignore the familiar faces branding his conscience. A lack of control in an environment, particularly one like this, has long since made itself known as a trigger of the thoughts he'd rather forget.
Just as he goes to dwell on these, he's interrupted by a familiar voice, one that grounds him, reassures him.
"John! Sorry I took so long, some kids were taking their time." (Y/n) apologises as she drops into the bar stool beside him, taking her drink back from him.
"Don't worry about it." He murmurs back, twisting the neck of his soda bottle in his hand (he finds alcohol takes away from his sense of control), flicking some hair from his face.
Smiling at him, (Y/n) takes a sip of her drink, turning to face the dancers as she sits with him, the two quite used to sitting in companionable silence.
After a little while, she finishes her drink and sits back against the counter, only to spring up again when she hears the music overhead change, a wide grin on her face. Bouncing to her feet, she turns to John, expression imploring him.
"I love this song! Remember it? From way back when?" She smiles at the memory, a good one through all the bad ones, "We used to dance to this."
John can't help the small smile playing at his own lips as he is reminded of how they'd danced a couple of times, back on his father's ranch.
"I remember." He agrees, watching her.
"Come on, dance with me now!" (Y/n) chuckles, moving her body in the bare impression of a dance move.
"No, I'm good." John declines initially, waving her off politely.
"Aw, come on! It'll be fun! Just like the good old days!" She pleads with him, reaching out to take one of his hands, very lightly jerking on it as he tries to ignore the butterflies rising at her touch.
"I'm not sure…"
"Please? Just one song?" She gives him a look, one he has memorized. It tells him she wants him to join her, but that she won't be upset if he doesn't, that she'll understand. She always does.
Eventually, it's what causes him to cave in.
Sighing, he climbs to his feet, allowing her to pull him into the crowd, the veteran pushing down the distrust brewing inside him from the closeness of the people around him, instead focusing on the feeling of her hand on his, grounding himself. As she finds a good spot on the dancefloor, (Y/n) turns back around to face him, face light and happy as she starts to dance, just how they used to. Copying her, John tries to forget the awkward feeling, finding it hard to make contact with the childhood memories that would've helped him, his expression tightening as he moves.
After a moment, (Y/n) seems to notice this, stepping forwards into his space as she looks up at him with a curious look, silently asking for permission as her hands hover over his shoulders. Nodding, he bites back the sigh threatening to leave him as her hands close ever so gently around him, his own coming up to lightly grip her waist, enjoying the feeling of her body in his grasp. Leaning into his touch, (Y/n) sways them in time to the music, her expression softening as the tempo of the music does, the two of them drifting closer as they move together. Her scent is in his nostrils, somehow discernible through the sweat and alcohol around him, calming him as he leans in further, wrapping his arms more firmly around her body. Carefully, he pulls her into him, feeling her softer curves against his hard muscles, his hands splaying at her back, his nose soon finding her hair as he buries his face in it. She wraps her own arms around his neck, delicately threading her fingers into his hair, stroking through the strands soothingly as she presses her head into his chest.
As they hold each other, it's as if the world around them has disappeared, leaving them in a bubble of security, just holding each other as they used to, before touch meant more than an idle gesture. It means so much more now, particularly for them.
After a moment, she pulls her head back a little, looking up into his face, eyes searching his, her lips parted as she regards him. They're close, so close he can feel her every breath against his heated skin, his gaze flicking down to stray over her lips as he fights the urge to simply bend down and close the gap between them, and give in to every desire he's repressed for years now. Naturally, she notices this and smiles, reassuringly this time, before she leans up and presses her lips to his.
Instantly, they find a rhythm, lips smoothing against each other with soft fervour as hands start to pull each other closer together. John runs one hand down to her lower back, splaying his fingers over the curve of her ass, using the grip to pull her more tightly into him, enjoying the feeling of her body against his, the noises she lets out only serving to intensify his feeling for her. (Y/n) gently tugs on his hair, her other hand moving to push up under his shirt, feeling over his tense muscles, arching her body into him as he lightly licks at her lips. Obediently, she allows him access, and his tongue freely explores her mouth, sliding wetly alongside her's, her moans swallowed by him as he rocks his hips against her. Idly, the hand she had pushed up his shirt starts to trail downwards, settling over his crotch.
With a jerk, he breaks free from the kiss, his eyes finally flying open as he snaps upright in the rickety bed.
Breathing hard, he scans the room, instantly remembering where he is, the knowledge calming him slightly as he wipes sweat from his forehead. Desire and longing course through him, his eyes straying over to find the figure lying beside him, her body left exposed by the thin sheet.
In the dim light from the moon outside, (Y/n)'s sleeping form appears peaceful, her muscles totally relaxed, allowing for a less guarded look to cross her face, the hard line of her brow and lips softened until she appears more angelic. In the many times they'd slept on the same room, or same bed, John can not remember ever seeing her quite so relaxed, not after they got into the military anyway.
They'd met as teenagers, when she'd come to work for his father on his ranch. During their time working together the two had become fast friends, eventually managing to do most things together, until they both decided to join the military. She'd gone into the airforce, before eventually getting into another branch of the Special Forces, where she faced a similar abrupt finish to her career as he did, losing all of her team to a poorly planned stealth mission, which some corrupt colonel in the higher positions had instructed them to do. After this point, they miraculously found each other again on the long road to a small town called Hope, where things went awry. Neither wanted to leave the other, and so they stuck by each other, helping each other out on the bloody road that came after the events of Hope, leading them to this point.
Unsurprisingly, John had soon realised that his feelings for the hardened veteran were no longer as innocent as he would've liked to keep them. Somewhere along the way, through gunfights fought back-to-back, mindless races through the sweltering jungle to avoid pursuers behind them, bandaging each other's wounds at the dead of night with only a dull campfire to light their work, and the calmer, soft moments between them, where they both overcame (to a certain extent) the mindless grief hounding them together, John had found that he and fallen for his partner. She'd always been there, back when things had gone to hell in Hope, when Co had been shot, and when Trautman had needed rescuing, (Y/n) had been by his side, fighting his battle with him, because "his battle is her battle now, they are partners after all". She meant everything to him, and he'd kill for her. He HAS killed for her.
At times, he'd played with the idea of telling her his feelings, of confessing to her and hoping things would be ok, but he had never gone through with it. Something always stops him, and that both irritates and relieves him. He has never quite been able to put a finger on what it is, but now, watching her sleep so peacefully, he realizes what it is.
He never wants to lose her friendship, ever, and he's afraid he'll ruin what they've got if he says anything. So he stays silent, keeping his thoughts to himself, lifting a hand to lightly ghost it over her side, thankful that she's so tired her instinctive alertness has dimmed down enough for him to gently touch her without her realising. He never places his hand down, only tracing his fingers over her, keeping the touch gentle and friendly, should she wake. It would be so easy just to pull her body into his, to hold her tightly against his chest and bury his face in her soft hair, but he restrains himself, not wanting to make her uncomfortable.
Groaning, he rolls onto his back, knowing now that sleep won't come again tonight, especially not with his thoughts so high-strung and confused, unless he manages to relax properly again.
Oddly enough, his reprieve comes to him in a surprising, but not at all unwelcome manner: mumbling in her sleep, (Y/n) turns over, her hands reaching out to find something, anything, latching onto him as they find him. Gently, she pulls herself into him, her head pressing into the side of his chest as her hand rests over his heart, his pulse pounding under her touch.
Eyes wide, John gingerly wraps his arm around her, finding comfort in the solid feeling of her body in his grip, sleep coming back to him now as he buries his face in her hair, breathing in her familiar scent. He could get used to this, but he knows that he never will, not as long as he wants his friendship to last.
Just as he goes to drift off, he hears (Y/n) sigh one thing, her voice a bare whisper, if slightly more coherent than it should be for someone fast asleep:
""Wish you knew how I feel about you."
Part Two
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alex, how was the show???!!!!! TELL ME ALL ABOUT IT
omg hi ella!!! i'll link you a realllly long recap post here from the day after the show just because i trust my memory from right after a lot more than i do a week later lol, buuuut it was so much fun!! i never got to see 1d live despite living in california for years—so i was totally bordered by 1d shows on either side of the state but gave up trying to go because my parents refused to take me, rip—and being down the street from them during the last night of UAN, so it felt just totally surreal to finally get to see even just one of them perform live??
also sorry this is gonna get Long but i got a little too in my feelings lmao
being able to watch through IG live-streaming kind of prepares you for what'll happen by way of tracklist, when he'll make his little speeches, etc., but his energy really is just so much more palpable in person. he's so expressive and you can feel how happy he is to be present and performing, engaging with people after so long.
seeing his demeanor shift between different types of songs too is pretty wild? we didn't get any shoulder kisses or singing to the wings or anything at my show, but when he was performing the slower, more intimate songs, it felt like he slipped into a completely separate headspace from the more upbeat ones. like reminiscing as he was singing, or just thinking about something in particular, but at the same time not like he was removing himself from the audience? idk it's really hard/weird to explain, the whole vibe just became really different (not like you'd expect him to be jumping around like mad to 'fine line' or anything, but still).
and i haven't said anything about this yet but i can't stop thinking about it—when he first popped up on stage i fully couldn't believe he was there. not just because i'd been waiting so long to see him and there he was at long last, but because i couldn't stop thinking, even as i was having the time of my life laughing and smiling uncontrollably, that he's been through so much and he's still there, doing what he wants to do, and loves to do. that this person in front of me, i'd seen laugh and cry and be angry and carry so much emotional weight and responsibility for years, and despite everything going on behind the scenes or in the view of the GP, he was still there, smiling, aiming to give us even just a little bit of happiness, in a space free to claim as our own, as our true selves.
and when we got to 'fine line' it hit me really hard, actually, and i couldn't help getting emotional—like ella i shit you not, i fully walked out of the venue with big black rings under my eyes and my friend just looked at me and went 'oh my god you really weren't kidding' (about knowing i was going to cry)—thinking about how much has happened, is happening, might happen. like i've been through a lot over the years i've followed 1d—as have they—and even for the few years i wasn't in the fanbase, the group still brought me a lot of comfort when i was going through some hard times. so, to know and see, in this specific case, how harry really can't ever seem to catch a break, despite his vocality in feeling so comfortable with himself at this point in time and not caring what people think (negatively) about him anymore, it still made my heart just ache.
i know he's heard so many different praises and thank-you's over the years, deservedly so, but even when i was having the time of my life finally seeing him, jamming along and dancing with one of my best friends beside me, i couldn't—and still can't— help wanting to be able to see him face to face and give as earnest a thank-you as i can, and hope he understands just how much i appreciate all he's done, doing and will do, and that i only ever hope for his happiness and truth, by his own definition and design, without any restrictions or limitations.
ok sorry this got far too sappy and melodramatic but i wanted to say something right after my show and didn't, so here it is....for poor ella who just wanted a recap and anyone else that kindly deals with my rambling dnkgfjn
#hslot portland#my hslot show#ialwaysknewyouwerepunk#answered#lovely friends and mutuals#<because i need to make a proper tag#long post
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Star Trek - Spock x Reader - Love Story - Words: 1,129
BIG IMPORTANT A/N:
Love Story (1970) is a VERY VERY VERY sad (but very beautiful) movie. I WOULD suggest to watch it but remember...sad...
If you haven't seen it, here's the summary just so you can understand my story:
Preppy College Guy (Oliver) falls in love with Bookish College Girl (Jenny)
She falls in love with him because, WOW! He's not as much a jerk as she thought.
Their parents don't approve, yada yada, you get that part of the story. Mildly cliche, don't care.
They get married, get jobs, get apartment, want kids, and then everything goes downhill. (I'm not gonna spoil too much...you probably will get the idea)
Jenny has this expression "Love means never having to say you're sorry."
Really sweet, moral of the story type thing.
Let's just leave it at there is no happily ever after and also that the movie score (theme song?) is amazing, anyway... enjoy the story 😄😄 And as always, this should be generally series-neutral lol Should work with AOS or TOS 👍👍🤗🤗
You grabbed a bowl of popcorn out of the replicator and sat down on the sofa in yours and Spock's quarters. Spock wouldn't be off his shift for another 2 hours and you decided to watch a sappy old Earth movie called Love Story while he was out. Your shift had been long and stressful and you felt like a good emotional movie to relax. Just as it finished loading up on the screen, the doors opened and Spock walked in.
"You're home early!" You said getting up to greet him. You gave him a quick peck on the cheek which he returned with a soft stroke of his hand to yours.
"The Captain said I looked tired and needed rest. He gave me tomorrow off as well."
"Well that's perfect! Maybe we can finally have that picnic on Observation Deck 6 we've been planning for the past few months. Let me see if it's open tomorrow."
"Yes, that would be nice," Spock said quietly. You looked at him oddly but he didn't make eye contact. "I think I will take a shower before we eat dinner. Is that alright?"
"Of course, Spock!" You replied happily. "I didn't have anything homemade today. Sorry about that," You said. "I was thinking I could make our picnic lunch myself, though. The reservation book says Observation Deck 6 is open tomorrow."
"That would be most pleasant," He said. If you didn't know any better, you'd say his voice sounded sad. But he never let that happen, did he?
"If it's ok with you, love, I'd like to start watching my movie while you're in the shower. It's," you paused, slightly embarrassed. "It's kinda sappy so I don't think you'd like it but-"
"I would not mind viewing it with you, ashayam, if it makes you happy."
"It's a really emotional movie, Spock. I'll probably cry about the ending."
"So it is a sad movie?"
"Yes, I cried last time I watched it."
"And you want to watch it again."
"Yes." One perfectly pointed eyebrow rose up in confusion.
"Then perhaps I should watch it with you in an effort to understand human emotion and behavior better." You chuckled lightly and shook your head.
"Ok, silly, we'll watch it together. Now go take your shower and let me finish making our plans for tomorrow. I'll get our dinner started in the replicators and it'll be ready by the time you come out, hm?"
"Alright," He said. Again, though, as he went to the bedroom, he looked upset.
"Is something on your mind, Spock?"
"Nothing to worry you, Y/N," He replied. You smiled but weren't convinced that he was being entirely truthful. Once he was done showering, you both grabbed your dinner and sat on the sofa together to watch Love Story.
A couple hours later the movie finished and you, of course, were sniffling slightly. As the closing credits began appearing on screen you wiped your eyes and looked up at Spock who had an oddly unreadable expression. "Sorry, I just," You sighed. "I really like that movie but it's so sad. I wish I could rewrite the ending."
"You have said that about many movies," He noted. You nodded. "And have you not attempted to 'fix' them, as you say, with your stories?"
"Yes," You nodded, cheeks flushed with embarrassment. "But this story is too beautiful. I could never write a better ending. Happier, yes. But it was so perfect. The musical score for the movie literally won an award the year it was released."
"But couldn't you rewrite the dialogue? Perhaps Oliver's father apologizes sooner and they're able to get treatment for Jenny?"
"Well, first of all, they didn't have treatments in those years, Mr. Spock," You smirked. You found it quite adorable that he was apparently trying his hand at fanfiction. Or at least coming up with headcanons. "Second, the point was that 'love means never having to say you're sorry.' Oliver's father wouldn't have understood that as well had the story not progressed as it did." That sad look passed over Spock's face again. "Spock, what's wrong? You keep getting this sad look. Guilty? Upset? Something! I don't know what it is but please tell me what's wrong," You said. He held his hands in his lap and refused to make eye contact.
"I," He started to say. "What does it mean?"
"What does what mean?" You asked, quite confused.
"Love means never having to say you're sorry."
"Oh, well," You thought about it for a minute. "I guess I would say that when two people really love and care about each other, they find that they don't have to say 'I'm sorry' about every little thing. Sometimes they may not realize they're doing something annoying or sometimes it's just that the other person, while superficially upset, isn't really mad and they can reach an understanding without words. I don't know if any of that made sense, Spock. For Pete's sake, I don't even know if most humans understand it. But it's something we do."
"Many times, when I do something that I've calculated as the most logical course of action, you are upset."
"Well, logical isn't always obvious to us emotional type humans," you smiled. "But I understand eventually. You usually sit down and explain it to me over a cup of tea or a bowl of plomeek soup."
"But I do not apologize for upsetting you."
"Oh, I think I know what's wrong," You said, looking down at your own hands now. "Last week, the mission on Omicron Lira? You put yourself in harm's way, again, and missed our anniversary dinner." He nodded slightly. "Spock, you did apologize. You always do."
"How?"
"I just told you," You smiled, curling back up against his side on the couch. "You explain to me why you did everything, why it was logical, so that I can understand. It's your special way of apologizing to me."
"I see," Spock said thoughtfully. "So you are not upset at me?" He asked, finally looking at you.
"Not at all," You grinned.
"I'm glad." He let a small smile show and grabbed his PADD to find another movie to watch.
"That being said," You added with a smirk. "I still expect an 'I'm sorry' when you wake me up too early, throw away my food before I'm done with it, steal my blanket, steal my hat, take my chocolate," You paused suddenly. "Actually, don't apologize about the chocolate. You get the idea though."
"I believe I understand," He replied, an almost chuckle sneaking into his voice and laughter in his eyes. "In that case, I won't need to apologize for this," He said holding up two chocolate bars he had been hiding.
"Never."
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MASTERLIST
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We’ll Be Alright
More St. Tweedle for you. This takes place right after All I Want. A bit of hurt/comfort this time, if you’d like a break from the angst, featuring quite a few sappy confessions. I was gonna post a pt. 2 of Luke leaving angst but I’m impatient.
characters as always from @lumosinlove
@im-oknutzy-trash, @wonder-womans-ex
Luke awoke the morning after Saint showed up at his dorm to golden light trickling through his cracked window, falling over his bed. Saint still lay beside him, eyes shut and cheeks flushed. He looked quiet in sleep, and Luke wanted to freeze time right then and there, Saint asleep in his bed, sunlight turning strands of his hair copper, quieting the world to just the two of them.
Luke rolled over, unable to bear the broken perfection of it all. Too many unsaid words still hung between them.
“Saint, I’m sorry,” Luke murmured to the early morning darkness. He didn’t know if Saint actually heard him, wasn’t even sure he was awake. But rustling came and he felt Saint’s shoulder press against his back.
“Sorry for what?” Saint asked, voice low and rough. Luke fought the tremor that shook him. He loved Saint in the morning.
“For leaving without saying goodbye.”
Saint didn’t answer at that, didn’t move. For a moment, Luke was afraid he’d fallen back asleep. Or maybe he’d just dreamed the whole thing.
But then Saint was moving, away from him and climbing out of bed. Luke sat up.
“Where are you going?”
“I can’t do this Luke.”
Luke tracked him cautiously as Saint began pacing beside the bed. “Do what?”
“You can’t just say shit like that, alright?” He was nearly shouting. “You can’t just fucking do that to me.”
“Do what, Saint?” Luke pushed himself up and stalked over to him. “Tell you the truth? Apologize? Try to fix one goddamn mess in my life?”
Saint bitterly shook his head. “You’re lying. Why do you even care?”
Luke breathed in sharply, wanting to say the words, yet so terrified of what they might bring.
“Because I’m still in love with you.”
Saint laughed bitterly. “Are you now. You never said.”
“Well I am now. And I’m sorry.”
"Stop lying to me," Saint growled, and suddenly Luke was the one pushed, stumbling backwards, stopping only when his back hit the wall. It was so reminiscent of that first kiss, Luke angrier than he had been in a long time. The roles were reversed this time.
Saint didn't move, didn't come closer. He just stared at Luke wide-eyed and afraid. Luke rarely saw him afraid. He didn’t know where it was coming from.
"I'm not lying," he said quietly, begging him to understand, to believe him. Begging him not to think so lowly of him to believe it was a lie. Luke knew Saint trusted no one, barely even himself. For a while there he'd thought he'd been the exception. But it seemed leaving him on that island without so much as a goodbye had done its toll.
“Luke, how…” Saint trailed off, stepping closer cautiously. “Why? Why me?” The helplessness in Saint’s voice nearly broke him.
“Because you’re you!” Luke nearly cried. He needed Saint to understand. “Because you’re stubborn and sarcastic and you look good in gold, because you read the books I do and you aren’t afraid to tell me off. Because you’ll stay up with me until midnight to look at the stars and you’ll kiss me until I forget my own name and you don’t even care what others think. Because I love you. And I promise I’m not lying.”
Saint watched him for a long time. Luke couldn’t read his expression. So often, he did this. Shut himself off, placed that unfeeling mask back on again. Luke watched him back, remembering all the pain and longing that had brought them here.
“You stole my heart,” he whispered. “Before we were even a thing, and certainly before I left… long before I ever said it out loud. But you did, and it’s yours. If you want it.”
Saint’s mouth quirked to the side, breaking that mask. “You been reading romance novels, Tweedle?” Luke flushed. “Cause that was pretty sappy.”
“Bastard.”
“I love you.”
Luke’s breath caught in his chest. He didn’t know what to say. So rarely did Saint catch him well and truly off guard; when he did it always left Luke speechless.
But Saint started talking, quietly at first, so soft Luke could barely hear him, “I… I know I should have said this sooner. Three years is a fucking long time. I didn’t have the strength then, didn’t even know what I wanted. But I do now. I want you. And I need you to know that I never stopped loving you, even when you walked away and broke my heart.”
Finally, Luke murmured, “You always know what to say.”
“No. No I really don’t. I just know you.”
“C’mere.”
Saint stepped forward cautiously, but he didn’t flinch when Luke reached up, cradling his face gently. And he didn’t pull away when Luke brought their mouths together. Saint kissed him back, one arm wrapped around his back, the other lacing their fingers together. He walked them backwards until Luke pressed against the wall, arching into him. Luke tilted Saint’s chin up, kissing him deeper until they were both flushed and panting.
“I love you,” Luke panted, resting forehead against Saint’s.
“And I you.”
“Will you stay?”
Saint’s breath stopped, just for a moment, as he stared at Luke. But then he smiled, and ran a soft hand through Luke’s hair.
“Stay til you graduate?” Saint asked softly. “Hmm? Get an apartment together maybe, be all domestic and shit.”
“You want that?”
Saint shrugged. “I don’t know. But I’d do it for you, if you wanted.”
“Saint…” Luke couldn’t find the words to say what was in his heart, how grateful and amazed and in love he was in that moment. But Saint seemed to understand, just from watching him. He smiled gently, those brown eyes sparkling, expression wide open.
“Of course I will, Tweedle. I love you remember?”
“Now who’s the sappy one?”
Saint barked a laugh and Luke laughed too, for the first time in what felt like forever. He kissed Saint again, smiling into it and reveling in the fact that he could now.
“Come back to bed,” Luke said, tugging Saint back towards his bed. “Sleep with me.”
Saint followed willingly. He curled up on the bed, looking up at Luke with a smirk. Luke frowned a little, but couldn’t fight a smile as he laid down beside him, wrapping arms around Saint’s waist. So little did he let Luke do this, hold him close and let himself be vulnerable. Luke loved seeing him like this.
“I love you,” Luke murmured, but Saint was already asleep.
#st. tweedle#luke x saint#hurt/comfort#confessions#i love yous#tough boys being sappy#wrote most of this in class#or late at night#oh well#kisses#fluff#cuddles#relic keel#lumosinlove
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my fic masterlist
decided to do this for my own sake more than anyone else’s because sometimes I have to make sure the idea I get at 3am isn’t one I’ve already written hehe. anyway, a lot of these are on my ao3, but I’m also going to try and track down some of my TuMbLr-eXcLuSiVe fics, too. I’ll update this as often as I remember (so, uhhh–)
In-Progress: Not On A Consistent Updating Schedule Bc Abi is a Mess ™
midst of the mind – Anakin has always had a pretty good understanding of his feelings, even if he's not particularly disciplined in acting on them. But things surrounding the Chancellor seem to be off and Anakin's determined to get to the bottom of it. With a little help from his friends.(or: fix-it ROTS fic where Ani, Obi, and Padmé take down the Chancellor one fake smile and late-night tea party at a time)
evermore – "dreamscapes and tragedies and epic tales of love lost and found" within the lives of our favourite space fam. (or: TAYLOR SWIFT LITERALLY OWNS MY SOUL, OKAY?) (unrelated one-shots based on taylor swift songs ha)
filling the gaps – after the horror of Naboo, Obi-Wan has flipped from Padawan to having a Padawan in a matter of hours and he's not sure how much longer he can pretend like he's okay. thankfully, this one spunky youngling who keeps popping up in the corners of his life seems to know what to do. (or: baby!Soka unknowingly helps new Knight!Kenobi figure things out and braids his hair along the way)
Obi-Wan & Ahsoka: Best Father-Daughter Duo In The Galaxy According To Me (because let’s be honest...that’s why I’m here) (tagged: #obi & soka)
filling the gaps – *in-progress multi-chapter* after the horror of Naboo, Obi-Wan has flipped from Padawan to having a Padawan in a matter of hours and he's not sure how much longer he can pretend like he's okay. thankfully, this one spunky youngling who keeps popping up in the corners of his life seems to know what to do. (or: baby!Soka unknowingly helps new Knight!Kenobi figure things out and braids his hair along the way)
playing catch – Ahsoka finds an old friend on Tatooine and has lots of questions. they cry a lot. obi-wan tells some white lies. they get the hugs they need. (Obi-Wan & Ahsoka reunite on Tatooine)
all too young – during a bout of insomnia while on Onderon, Ahsoka gets some advice and insight about her Master. (or Obi-Wan hears Ahsoka laugh for the first time and they get to have a snuggle and he absolutely spends the entire next day training the rebels trying not to cry thinking about it every dang time he sees her.)
hologram heart-to-hearts – we see Obi-Wan and Ahsoka have a conversation via hologram in the final season of tcw, but what if there had been...more?(three-parter) (basically Obi and Soka keep in touch after she leaves the Order and there’s...a lot of emotions involved)
little love – a sort of follow-up to hologram heart-to hearts; Ahsoka sticks her nose into the wrong Alliance meeting and discovers a certain Jedi is alive and on Tatooine of all places, so she places a long-distance call.
bad days – Ahsoka tries to squeeze out of her Grand Master exactly what happened on Mortis. and, as always, Obi-Wan is powerless to deny her anything, no matter how painful that truth may be.
sleeping with monsters – Ahsoka is having a hard time sleeping after her time on Felucia, so Obi-Wan offers a solution.
chance meeting – Obi-Wan is up late researching for his Master in the archives when a certain sneeze–and pair of big blue eyes–catch his attention.
‘drooping eyelids’ prompt fill – Ahsoka and Obi-Wan have a conversation about attachment while Anakin’s missing. they (plus Anakin) get some platonic cuddles.
‘dancing’ prompt fill – they attend a senatorial gala without Anakin because he’s feeling grumpy grump after deception arc fall-out. Obi realises that there are still things to be thankful for.
sorrow – Ahsoka feels the full weight of loss as she clutches her Grand Master’s dead body. (deception arc FEELS!!!!)
‘I do not pretend to set people right, but I do see they are often wrong’ prompt fill – *trigger warning: death of children; Obi comforts Ahsoka after they witness an atrocity of the highest order.
the silence between — Ahsoka gets assigned to the 212th as her Master recovers. Unwanted quality time with her Grand Master doesn’t go as planned.
untitled ‘Obi & Ani role reversal au’ ficlet — Padawan Obi-Wan pays a visit to his best pal Ahsoka in the crèche.
‘falling asleep on each other’s shoulder’ prompt fill – the summary says it all. fluff!
'I don’t wanna die’ – Obi-Wan comforts Ahsoka in her pain. *tw: implied major character death
‘I made tea’ – Anakin is off-world so it’s up to Obi-Wan to take care of his sick grand-padawan.
sorry for the soup – post-deception arc. Ahsoka stops by Obi-Wan’s quarters to check-in.
Obi-Wan & Anakin: The Early Years (tagged: #obi & ani)
figuring it out – Anakin learns waking Obi-Wan up can sometimes be a good thing and Obi-Wan learns that maybe everything's going to be okay. (padawan!ani & new dad knight!kenobi)
if I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more – Anakin overhears a conversation he wasn’t meant to hear and lashes out in response. lots of hurt is uncovered and Obi-Wan hears some hard truths from his Padawan. angst, angst, angst...but with a hug.
reading lessons – the team takes a trip to the archives to find some reading material. Anakin is adorably insecure.
cold – Obi-Wan and Anakin have their first solo mission, but in typical Kenobi & Skywalker fashion, it does not go as planned. Exasperated Obi-Wan and Won't-Shut-Up Anakin are put to the test by deep space and a completely out-of-fuel ship. (or some more fluff where padawan!ani and new knight!kenobi get to try and figure out how the heck this master-padawan thing WORKS. hint: it's not easy!)
playing hooky – angel baby Anakin breaks Obi-Wan's heart and it's not for the last time...womp wooooomp.
like you – sweet, angel baby Ani gives himself a haircut and Obi-Wan deals with the aftermath. (I’m copying and pasting most of these summaries directly from ao3 and cracking up because I called Anakin a sweet angel baby in two in a ROW hahah)
fun? – the Jedi Council gives Obi-Wan his newest orders as a young Jedi Knight and he struggles to understand them. he was instructed to take his new Padawan and...have...fun?
go away/please stay – Obi-Wan has been disappearing for solo missions more and more often and Anakin's starting to wonder if it's more than just on request of the Council. (or: can you say TEEN ANGST!)
‘forehead kisses’ prompt fill – Anakin stumbles upon his Master having quite the nightmare, so he handles it the way his mom always handled his own nightmares. with patience and affection.
unnamed NAP TIME fic – Obi-Wan gets home from a solo mission early to find his bed occupied.
‘sweets’ prompt fill – Anakin gets a little ambitious with his choco-ball indulgence.
‘fuzzy socks’ prompt fill – years after arriving at the Temple, Anakin still hasn’t quite adjusted to the cold. Obi-Wan gets him a gift to help. (really just an excuse for some obi ani banter)
‘snowball fight’ prompt fill – Anakin takes his boredom to the next level, much to his Master’s chagrin.
untitled Anakin sickfic bc I’m not feeling very creative right now – the team goes on a mission but Anakin gets sick. Obi-Wan is ultimate mother hen and Anakin makes an observation.
got germs – sickficlet where both of our best boys are sick.
you’re okay – just some classic protective parent!Obi-Wan and teenaged son!Anakin post disaster.
‘you lied to me’ – angstpril day 13. Anakin really wants to go to Ilum and make his lightsaber...but is met with disappointment.
random sickfic – because we all know Anakin is the most annoying sick person in the world.
don’t struggle – the ship is crashing, as usual. but this time, Anakin’s seatbelt is stuck. *tw: implied major character deaths
relic – sith!Obi au. *tw: major character death
aspectabund – Anakin’s eyes betray him and his Master.
Obi-Wan & Anakin: Brotp But Also Idiots Who Don’t Know How To Communicate (still tagged #obi & ani)
define ‘attachment’ – while the dads esteemed Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker wait for Ahsoka to wake up, they talk about attachment, worry, and that time Ani caused an accidental security breech at the Temple.
favourites – Obi-Wan has been tasked with telling Anakin of his special assignment to keep an eye on the Chancellor, but he gets sappy and sentimental in the process because these conversations are hard.
after all these years – Obi-Wan tries to talk to Anakin, but it doesn't go well. does this sound familiar OR WHAT? (post-decpetion arc angst)
brilliant – Anakin is having a difficult time adjusting to his new mechno-arm for one very specific reason. (the boys communicate properly in this one and even get a hug as a treat!)
sober words said aloud – Anakin's meeting with the Council is interrupted by his highly intoxicated–and wildly affectionate–Master. (crack fic turned fluff)
‘you’ve been crying, I can tell’ prompt fill – Anakin makes the mistake of checking in on his Master after a particularly grueling mission. it doesn’t go well. (or: Obi-Wan loses his sh!t)
going somewhere? – Obi-Wan catches Anakin on his way out for a midnight rendezvous with a certain Senator. Anakin makes a quick decision and chooses Obi-Wan. sweet words are exchanged on a sentimental walk.
shaking hands – in the immediate wake of Ahsoka’s departure form the order, Anakin...isn’t okay. Obi-Wan tries to do something about it. (post S5 angst)
untitled platonic tired cuddles/back scratching fic – Anakin resorts to an old tactic to make his Master rest.
sun shine on – Obi-Wan and Anakin take a little trip to Tatooine to visit Shmi’s grave. (post-ROTS fix-it au of sorts)
pushing it too far — Obi-Wan calls Anakin for some help when he takes ‘intel’ too seriously and ends up drunk on a street in lower-level Coruscant.
whump prompt fill – Obi-Wan looks after Anakin after a near-miss. They talk.
‘was it another premonition?’ – Obi-Wan dreams of Luke. He wakes up to Anakin.
post-mortis angst – Anakin remembers. *tw: implied suicidal thoughts
angstpril: ‘you have to let me go’ – Anakin and Obi-Wan are stuck in a pit. only one of them can make it out alive. *tw: implied major character death
role model – post-deception angst. Obi and Ani talk. it doesn’t go well.
here either way – conversations about mental health. *tw: panic attack
hiraeth – Obi-Wan walks alone. *post ROTS
Anakin & Ahsoka: Dream Team Sharing One Single Brain Cell (tagged: #snips & skyguy or (for the really angsty) #its crying about snips & skyguy hours)
that one person – (my first fic!) Anakin gets assigned to lecture a class of younglings, but he's not the only one who doesn't want to be there.or Ahsoka Tano is done with Jedi sh!t and tries to leave, but this time it's just a classroom and not the entire Order and there's a lot less tears and pain.
define ‘attachment’ – while the dads esteemed Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker wait for Ahsoka to wake up, they talk about attachment, worry, and that time Ani caused an accidental security breech at the Temple.
here and now – the Force has tried to swallow Ahsoka Tano three times. it's hard to be the last one standing. (or Ahsoka feels the death of three important men in her life and is tired of being left behind) *tw: major character deaths (canon compliant and not depicted, only mentioned)
whumptober: crying – Anakin comforts a distraught Ahsoka after her disaster mission over Ryloth.
reaching out – Anakin is always there...until he’s not. Ahsoka reflects on how different it is fighting and living without Anakin at her side. (angst)
help would come – Anakin and Ahsoka get stuck on an ice planet and things get dire. I chalked this full of parallels to the final conversation between Ani and Luke bc I love pain, I guess?
whump: ‘i’ve got you’ – Anakin pulls Ahsoka from a nightmare.
zen!Anakin ficlet — Ahsoka visits Anakin in his new job as Galaxy’s #1 Dad (well Plo Koon still exists so maybe #1.5?).
right as rain – Ahsoka insists she is fine when she is distinctly not.
snoozeville – Anakin and a few boys of the 501st find their Commander catching some extra z’s.
stitching up – Ahsoka performs some in-the-moment surgery for Anakin and he tries not to scream. *tw: field surgery
‘platonic spooning’ prompt fill – do I need a summary after that?
sad hours: dancing – Anakin and Ahsoka dance in the aftermath of tragedy.
rainy ending given to a perfect day – Anakin and Ahsoka take a trip into downtown Coruscant.
Anakin and Padmé: Abi Tries and fails To Write Romance (tagged: #anidala)
not enough – Anakin has a hard time with the Mortis fall-out. Padmé doesn’t know how to help someone who doesn’t want it. some painful connections between Ahsoka and Shmi are made. (angst, no happy ending, trouble in paradise)
I will not have this baby in a jail cell – some fluff, some crack, some Anakin-being-so-proud-of-his-badass-wife.
marcid – domestic fluff in which Padmé almost shoots him. ha. oops!
rubatosis – angsty anidala hours. Anakin can’t go to sleep.
Obi-Wan and Satine: Abi Tries and fails some more To Write Romance (tagged #obitine)
don’t go – Obi-Wan makes a choice. *year on the run timeline
that’s mine – some happiness AU obitine. waking up next to each other. laughing. all the sappy stuff.
accidental keldabe kiss – all the ridiculous tropes I love with our favourite pining idiots. it’s the ‘kiss me so they don’t see us!’ trope!!!! *year on the run timeline
you’re shaking – Satine knows Obi-Wan more than he’d like. *year on the run
Anakin, Obi-Wan, Ahsoka, Rex, Padmé: Space Found Family In Whatever Form It Comes
here and now – the Force has tried to swallow Ahsoka Tano three times. it's hard to be the last one standing. (or Ahsoka feels the death of three important men in her life and is tired of being left behind) *tw: major character deaths (canon compliant and not depicted, only mentioned)
i want your midnights – the gang attends a New Year's banquet (read: party) and Padmé surprises them all with her midnight kiss.
evermore – "dreamscapes and tragedies and epic tales of love lost and found" within the lives of our favourite space fam. (or: TAYLOR SWIFT LITERALLY OWNS MY SOUL, OKAY?) (unrelated one-shots based on taylor swift songs ha)
flair for dramatics – when the gang gets their ship stranded on a desert planet, Anakin and Ahsoka get creative as they try to keep spirits up and minds off the sweltering heat. Obi-Wan questions his sanity. (crack fic turned fluff)
nothing a cup of tea can’t fix – when Anakin shows up to Obi-Wan's quarters in the middle of the night, the Jedi Master knows something has gone awry. answering Anakin's desperate cry for help, Obi-Wan is reminded of how very, very prone to dramatics his former Padawan and Grand Padawan are. (or: Ahsoka gets sick and Anakin flips his shit.) (sickfic)
in the sandstorm – when Tatooine's weather takes a turn for the worst, Ben Kenobi finds a young boy in need of shelter and some lessons on how wonderful his dad had been. (luke and obi-wan hurt/comfort)
remembering hurts – Rex and Ahsoka strive to survive on the snowy moon in the days after Order 66. tensions are high and emotions are volatile.
balter – disaster trio dances at a senatorial ball.
reunion – au where Anakin doesn’t completely turn to the dark side but everything up to and including Mustafar (except for the last like...five minutes) happens. Padmé has the twins, Obi-Wan is overwhelmed, Anakin is a mess. they’re happy...or at least, they will be soon.
‘cookies’ prompt fill – disaster trio makes cookies for the crechelings for Life Day. (just fluff and banter)
first ever codywan! – Cody does some bedside vigil for a hurt Obi-Wan. :’)
transponster – disaster trio is tired and delusional. Rex and Cody want Jedi to have some kriffing self-preservation.
one final salute — Obi-Wan and Cody get trapped. Obi-Wan’s luck is running out. (angst? angst.)
codywan whump – Cody saves Obi-Wan’s life. again. (more fluff than whump)
girls’ night – Ahsoka hangs out with her mom pal Padmé.
driving lessons – Obi-Wan and Anakin teach Ahsoka to drive. ha.
affectionate obi – the kids get Obi-Wan a puppy. fluff!
sorry I don’t speak idiot – Rex and Fives deal with a drunk Echo :’)
post deception disaster trio sadness – Ahsoka tries to keep Obi-Wan company in the aftermath of Rako Hardeen...but Anakin isn’t playing nice.
verklempt – Ahsoka and Yoda talk about being chosen. and Ahsoka finds out maybe she hasn’t been left behind afterall. *pre-TCW
apricity – disaster trio have a picnic at the temple! just pure fluff.
pyrrhic – codywan but make it angsty. some battles are won at too great a cost.
disaster trio sickfic – two Jedi dads and their (sick) daughter :’)
‘you’ve been here this whole time?’ – newlyweds anidala (but shh, Obi-Wan doesn’t know that! yes he does, everyone does.) are there when Obi-Wan wakes up and he ownders just what he did to get so lucky.
Febuwhump 2021: A Foray into Hurting the Characters I Love the Most
mind control – Anakin’s narrative as he fights Ahsoka on Mortis. sad boy hours. a lot of insecurity happening here.
‘I can’t take this anymore’ – during the Obitine (plus third-wheel Qui-Gon) year on the run, Satine gets tired of Obi-Wan trying to die for her. a bit hurt/comfort, a lot sappy.
imprisonment – on their first mission together, Obi & Ani get captured. Anakin learns how Obi-Wan feels about tight spaces.
coma – post deception arc. Obi-Wan goes into a coma after a particularly intense conversation with Anakin. Anakin tells Obi’s unconscious body how he’s feeling. angst, angst, angst. there’s your warning.
‘take me instead’ – Anakin escorts Padmé on a diplomatic mission but things get dicey and quick decisions must be made. Anakin isn’t the only one in this relationship willing to be an idiot for the sake of *love.* (or: another attempt to write Anidala in a convincing way because they give me a tough! time! so this time make it...dangerous)
insomnia – Anakin overhears a late night holo-call and learns that his Master has a...friend that is a girl???? and is pretty???? but also that his Master may need some fixing and he thinks he may just be the nine-year-old for the job.
poisoning – Ahsoka gets drugged and Anakin gets...er...angry. (read: dark)
‘hey, hey, this is no time to sleep’ – as Ahsoka and Anakin wait for help, Anakin tells a story. an ancient monster in the heart of Tatooine...waiting for it's day of reckoning. (or: Ahsoka gets dehydrated and Anakin can't deny his hurting sister/padawan anything so he talks a little bit about home.)
buried alive – Anakin reflects on some things as his Padawan tries to rescue him from the rubble. angst!!!!!!!!!
‘I’m sorry, I didn’t know’ – the Council loses a planet and Obi & Ani get tasked with finding it, but after nine hyperspace jumps and a painful discovery, Obi-Wan teaches his former Padawan one more lesson. (or: the boys talk about failure and feelings when Obi-Wan finds out Anakin's mechno-arm has been causing pain for a couple years)
hallucinations – Ahsoka tries to fix things. it doesn’t work. (post-order 66) angst
‘who are you?’ – Anakin and Ahsoka rescue Obi-Wan, but things aren’t okay and Obi-Wan doesn’t recognise Anakin. (or: Obi is tortured for information about the fall of the Republic before it happens and goes a bit mad bc of it)
‘I didn’t mean it’ – Obi-Wan learns how cold and unfeeling his young Padawan thinks he is and has a rough day. angst
burned – Anakin mourns the loss of his Padawan in a tactile way. Obi-Wan watches. (or: Anakin throws Ahsoka’s Padawan beads into a fire)
‘I wish I have never given you a chance’ – Obi-Wan is reminded of his own incompetence through a vision form his old master.
you have to let me go – Ahsoka has one heirloom: a hologram of her old master as a padawan. but it’s time to let the past go and step into the future, with help from an old friend.
#my fic#maybe I'll go give creative names to some of these prompt request fills someday but#probably not#anyway I definitely should have been doing things other than making this tonight but HERE WE ARE#:)#also at the time of me typing this I have 49 fics listed on here#which is so crazy to me#bc I just started writing in september and if you had told me I would have 50 fics in five months I would have laughed at you#and its so fun and cringey to look back at some of these#its only been a few months but my writing has CHANGED#(hopefully for the better?)#anyway yay! an organised archive!#sw fanfiction
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Be Mine
Pairing: Open Heart [Ethan x f!MC (Camille Prescott)]
Word Count: 1,764
Rating: T
Warinings: Brief mentions of sex/sexual content
Category: Fluff :)
Summary: Ethan and Camille make it official on Valentine’s Day.
***
I know it’s been like 2 months since I last posted a fic but I’ve been feeling a tiny bit more positive about OH3, plus it’s Valentine’s Day and these two idiots are in love. Don’t mind me making Ethan the insecure one as payback for what PB does to us haha
Ethan has been so buried in work that, lately, all the days seem to blend into one another. He can’t remember the last time he took a day off-- he’s been living, eating, and breathing Edenbrook.
And then there’s Camille.
On the rare occasion that he manages to tear himself away from the hospital… he’s been living, breathing, and eating her, too.
Ethan tugs slightly at his collar, a sudden flush working up his neck at the reminder of her soft blonde hair and even softer curves.
The airy sound of her laugh has his head instinctually jerking up and in the direction of the residents’ lounge.
As Ethan turns on his heel to follow the familiar noise, he can’t help but take note of the pink decorations adorning the walls and hanging from the ceilings. No matter how lost he’s been in his work lately, the universe just won’t let him forget about Valentine’s Day.
It’s a stupid holiday, really. He’s always thought so. The boxed chocolates are a sad, chalky, affair, and the brightly colored gifts are gimmicky at best. The whole thing is little more than a capitalist cash-grab, and there is nothing Ethan hates more than capitalism.
He forces himself not to roll his eyes as he spots two nurses exchanging cards in his periphery.
It’s not that he dislikes love, but he does dislike the showmanship and theatricality that seem to surround February 14th.
It’s just another day to him. In his thirty-seven years, he hasn’t once deigned to involve himself in such a tacky display of affection, and he sure isn’t going to start now.
Except…
As he opens the door to the residents’ lounge, Camille is elbow deep in a pile of pink tissue paper. The excitement in her wide smile is nothing short of arresting, and of course, he should’ve known that she’d live for something like this.
“Aww, look at it!” Camille squeals, her eyes shining as she lifts a stuffed bear from the mountain of gift wrapping. Her eyes dart over to Ethan, noticing him in the doorway, and her smile grows. She wiggles one of its fuzzy arms in an imitation of a wave. “It’s so cute, isn’t it?”
“It’s something,” Ethan says tactfully, crossing the room to slip an arm around her waist. He catches a whiff of her light floral perfume, and can’t resist leaning down to peck her on the cheek. “Did Sienna buy that for you?”
He may not be a fan of Valentine’s Day, but neither does he wish to offend Sienna Trinh, especially not after the basket of homemade scones she delivered to his office that morning.
“Nope, one of Camille’s patients has a crush on her.” Lahela teases from the couch, where he is sorting through a thick stack of cards from his own extensive list of admirers.
A strange itch works its way up the back of Ethan’s spine at Bryce’s words, and his arm tenses instinctively around Camille’s waist.
Just because he loathes Valentine’s Day does not mean that he wants another man buying her tacky trinkets and writing sappy notes.
Camille doesn’t seem to notice his displeasure, her lips pitching into a smile as she holds up the card to show him.
“Medically speaking, you make my pulse race. Isn’t that adorable?” She laughs, and Ethan narrows his eyes at the obnoxiously pink card. The card that someone else gave to Camille.
Her green eyes dart over the surface of the card once more, and Ethan feels something tight and uncomfortable building in his chest.
“I think that’s the most brainless thing I’ve ever heard.” Ethan says sharply. “Which patient sent this?” He needs to know, so he can reassign them to another resident.
“Relax, Ethan, it’s Jake from the pediatric ward.” Camille says with a breezy laugh. “He’s twelve.”
“Oh,” Ethan shifts his weight, embarrassed. The sound of his pager is a welcome reprieve, and he glances at it gratefully. “Are you coming over tonight? I can meet you in the atrium.”
It’s become almost routine for them, on the rare occasion they both have a night off. After the stress of the past few weeks, Ethan can’t wait to get her alone. Even if it’s only to watch a movie and drink that horrible cheap wine she likes, he just wants to spend time with her. Even the thought of a proper Valentine’s Day date, oddly, holds a new appeal when he considers Camille across the table, her smile lighting up the room...
“I think we’re gonna do a Galentine’s Day thing tonight.” Camille says with an apologetic shrug.
“Galentine’s Day?” Ethan asks, unable to keep the disgruntled edge out of his voice. It seems a new term is invented every time he turns his back. It’s deeply perturbing.
“Yeah!” Sienna chimes in. “Me, Camille, Aurora, and Jackie, since we all managed to get the night off and none of us have significant others-- except Camille, I mean, you and her…” Sienna trails off, looking unsure.
“It’s okay, he hates Valentine’s Day, anyway.” Camille interjects quickly. “And we’re not official or anything like that.”
The look she shoots him is equal parts hopeful and nervous, as if she’s waiting for Ethan to correct her. He wants to, God, how he wants to correct her. To say that they are very much a official and serious relationship.
Instead, he freezes on the spot.
“My pager…” he says pathetically, before turning and abruptly striding out of the room.
***
All day, Ethan is a black storm cloud drifting sullenly through the rose-colored halls of Edenbrook.
It’s clear to the rest of the staff that something is wrong, but no one is quite sure what. He hasn’t been in such a bad mood in months, not since he started seeing Camille. The rumor mill churns out a steady stream of speculation, doing nothing to improve Ethan’s mood.
Finally, Naveen corners him in front of a bulletin board covered in construction paper hearts.
“Do you think I’m enough for her?” Ethan asks, staring pointedly at the board rather than making eye contact with his former mentor.
“I’m not sure I follow.” Naveen says mildly.
“She’s so...vibrant. Loving.” Ethan reaches out and touches one of the paper hearts. Camille organized the project, helping every pediatric patient decorate a heart and hanging them up with painstaking care. “I’m the opposite.”
“Are you?” Naveen asks, “I’ve seen you with her, and you seem happy. You two are good together.”
“She doesn’t want to spend Valentine’s Day with me,” Ethan admits, feeling foolish even as the words leave his mouth. “Because she thinks I hate it, which I do, of course…”
“But you wouldn’t hate it with her?” Naveen prompts.
Ethan nods with a rueful smile. He shouldn’t be surprised, the man was considered the best diagnostician in the country for a reason.
“It’s okay to seek happiness, Ethan. You can let go of the cynicism if you want to.” With that, Naveen turns to leave, but not before pressing a small cardboard box into Ethan’s hand with a wink.
***
Camille lingers as Baz finishes gathering the last of his papers and shuffles out the door of the diagnostics office.
Ethan doesn’t look up as he fumbles with the tiny cardboard box in his lap, but he can feel her warmth hovering in front of his desk. He thinks he would know the feel of her even if he was blind, deaf, and dumb.
Finally, finally, Ethan manages to tear open the little cardboard flap and maneuver his fingers into the narrow opening.
“I’d like to speak with you--” he begins.
“--Can we talk?” Camille says at the exact same time.
“I’d like to go first.” Ethan says, taking a deep breath. “I’m sorry. For my behavior this morning. I have never liked Valentine’s Day, that’s true, but I do like you.”
He pauses, and glances up at Camille’s face to gauge her reaction. Her expression is soft, and the fond look in her green eyes makes Ethan’s heart stutter in his chest.
Emboldened, he reaches into the box and sets a piece of candy on the desk with a decisive nod.
Camille leans over, a curtain of blonde hair falling over her shoulder as she tries to get a better look at the candy heart.
“Sweet talk?” Her laugh is bright and clear. “Ethan you actually have to try and sweet talk me, this is a cop out!”
Ethan can feel a hot blush pricking at his cheeks and he shakes his head.
“No, dammit, that’s the wrong one.” He stands and pours a few more hearts into his hand, ignoring the dusty residue that is surely being shaken all over his desk. It takes a few moments of searching until he finally finds the correct saying on a yellow heart.
“Here,” he says, brusquely handing her the candy.
“Be mine.” She looks back up at him with glittering eyes, her teeth sinking into the soft pink of her lower lip.
“I know we haven’t defined our relationship yet, but I want to be with you. Officially.” He clears his throat when Camille doesn’t immediately respond. “I understand if you need some time to--”
“Shut up,” Camille breathes, stepping forward until she can loop her arms around his neck. Her command is unnecessary, considering how Ethan has already been rendered speechless by her proximity.
He can feel her smile against his mouth as she meets his lips with her own. He groans as her fingers anchor in the hair at the base of his neck, tugging softly.
The kiss deepens as Camille’s lips part beneath his, and Ethan’s hands work underneath her blouse, sliding against the bare skin of her back.
“Is that a yes?” Ethan asks, his voice gravelly as she plants a trail of kisses along his jaw.
He is thirty-seven years old, and for the first time he has reduced himself to a lovesick adolescent. It’s strange how willing he is to embarrass himself in front of her, how willing he is to do anything for her.
“Of course it’s a yes! I’ve been waiting forever for you to commit to me.” Camille says with a radiant smile. Ethan cups her face gently.
“So, what now? I have a standing reservation at a restaurant downtown. I’d like to take you out on a real date.”
“That sounds nice,” Camille says, toying with one of the scattered candy hearts. “But first, I found this…”
Cheekily, she holds out the blue candy.
Kiss me.
***
Tagging separately!
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